#{meanwhile ignoring all my other drafts here}

[emsdevs]

Bear and Bug pt 2

a/n: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE ON PART ONE I already love this little au so much so I love that y'all are loving it too! Again I'm more than happy to share my thoughts on Bear and Bug anytime! Enjoy pt 2 :)

masterlist | bear and bug masterlist

After Jack’s draft, the two of you decided to live up all the time you had left together that summer. Once again, you two were attached at the hip. It was rare to see one of you without the other. You spent your days out on the boat, at the golf course, or finding fun adventures to go on. You spent your nights partying, having game nights, or having a quiet movie night together, relaxing after an eventful day.

Meanwhile, Quinn was pushing down a hurt that he didn’t fully understand. He knew you’d be spending a lot of time with Jack this summer (he was your best friend after all), so why did he feel like he was being left behind? Was he just some sort of stand-in for when Jack wasn’t available? No. No way. You would never do that. You cared about the entire Hughes family way too much for that, so why didn’t that lift the heavy weight he was feeling in his stomach? Quinn spent those weeks growing more and more irritated each day, watching you and Jack having the time of your lives while he wondered where he stood with you. 

As the end of the summer neared and you would all have to return to the real world soon, your time with Jack instead became family time. Everyone deserved to spend time with Jack before he boarded a flight to New Jersey until the next summer. However, moments that should have been filled with happy family memories were ruined by Quinn’s sudden sharpness toward no one in particular. He had become incredibly snippy with everyone, mainly you, causing many arguments between the two of you in those last two weeks. 

You couldn’t understand it. The two of you had been so close, and you felt like there might have been something between you. Now all of a sudden, he was throwing insults at you that genuinely hurt your feelings a few times. It got to be too much, and you gave up, ignoring Quinn altogether. It hurt you to do it, but it felt like your only option. Everyone could sense the tension between the two of you. 

The summer ended with heartfelt goodbyes to most of the Hughes family. Gentle hugs for Ellen and Jim, and since Luke was apparently too cool for that now, he got a dap up and his hair ruffled (you couldn’t resist). You and Jack shared a longer hug, filled with encouragement for both of your life paths and promises to keep each other updated until June. Quinn, on the other hand, got an incredibly awkward wave from five feet away, complete with terribly hidden grimaces from the rest of the family. 

You all returned to your normal lives after that. Well, mostly normal. Jack was adjusting to the big leagues, and you’re feeling like you’re going through a breakup, even though you and Quinn were never even together. Still, it seems like such a great loss knowing how long the two of you have known one another. 

It was nearing the end of October the next time you saw Quinn. The Canucks had beaten the Red Wings in Detroit that night, and knowing there wouldn’t be practice the next day, Quinn knew this was his chance to close the distance between you. Late that night, he found himself standing outside of your dorm, remembering his mom saying something about you scoring the same one as last year. Before he could think too much about it, he knocked. Just as he began to debate walking away, the door slowly opened, revealing a very confused, and equally as angry, you. Quickly glancing around to check if anyone would see, you yank him into your dorm, grateful your roommate was at her boyfriend’s place that night. 

“Quinn, what are you doing here?” you sigh out.

“I needed to talk to you, Bug.”

“Oh, we’re still doing the nicknames? You were horrible to me those last few weeks of the summer,” you could feel the anger flaring up.

“Well maybe if you didn’t spend your whole summer kissing up to Jack, the rest of us could have been in better moods,” he shrugged, beginning to raise his voice as well. 

“You were the only one with a problem! And there’s no way you didn’t expect me to spend my summer with Jack when we all knew I’d be losing him to New Jersey in August!”

“Of course I knew you’d spend time with him! Excuse me for thinking you’d save some time for the rest of us too!” Quinn’s resolve was slipping, and he knew the truth would come out sooner rather than later.

“So you said all those mean things to me because you were jealous? Are you serious, Quinn? Do you know how much some of that hurt me?” Quinn could see the tears lining your eyes now.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just didn’t know how to deal with these feelings,” his voice softened.

“What feelings? What do you mean?” your tone now matched his, and you were trying not to get your hopes up, still blinking back tears.

“You know,” he didn’t want to have to say it out loud.

“I don’t. I need you to tell me, Bear.”

“Look I know I never should have let it get this far, especially since you’re Jack’s best friend and I would never want to come between that, but I can’t help how I feel. You’re so engrained into everything I do now, Bug. Every part of my life, I see you in it. I don’t think you could ever understand what I feel for you, mainly because I’m not sure I do either, but what I do know is that, yes I was jealous of Jack. I was used to talking to you almost daily, to knowing every detail of your life, but summer hit, and suddenly I was in the background,” he took a breath.

“Bear you weren’t -” Quinn cut you off.

“Let me finish,” he waited for your nod. “I got in my own head, let myself think I was just some kind of understudy for when Jack wasn’t available. I know that’s not true, and I even knew that then. But this gnawing feeling wouldn’t go away, telling me that Jack would always be the better or more interesting sibling, whether I was the oldest or not. That’s why I got so snippy with everyone, not that that’s an excuse because no one deserved that, you the least. I just… I just think I might be falling in love with you, Bug, and I’m not sure I know how to handle that,” finally he finished, slowly looking your way, trying to gauge your reaction.

“You know I was waiting all summer for you to say that to me?” you started. “I was hoping you’d pull me aside, tell me that you felt the same way about me that I feel about you. I guess that’s kinda on me though because I did spend a ton of time with Jack, so I understand that you might have felt like I didn’t actually need you or that you wouldn’t have a chance to tell me. Either way, though, I can’t completely look past the way you treated me at the end of the summer. I seriously hope you know none of those things you thought were true. You will always, always be important and interesting, if not to anyone else then to me. I think… I’m falling for you too, Bear, but you’ve got a lot to make up for.”

“I’ll do whatever you need me to. I just need you back,” he let out a shuddered sigh.

“We’ll work on it together. Okay, Bear?”

“Okay, Bug.”

[contradictory-label-culture-is]

Not to like dump a first draft in your inbox before I make a proper post on bilesproblems, or to put some like actual Queer Theory in here on the silly blog but like. Contradictory label culture is believing in the principle of self exclusion.

The principle of self exclusion is that any person who does not belong under a label, will simply not identify with it. If someone identifies with a label in good faith, and it is a truly held identity, they must have their reasons and therefore belong. It is only necessary to define who or what a label does describe, not who it does not. The people who it does not describe will not feel represented by it and will not identify with it. It is an inclusionist principle, of course. It's not entirely perfect, it doesn't describe every situation ever, but it's a general rule. The definition of "genderfluid" doesn't need to be changed to specifically state that people with a constant state of gender cannot use it in order to exclude me. It only needs to say that one's gender is fluid, and I will practice self-exclusion by not identifying with the term that I do not feel describes me. Meanwhile a person who is bigender like me, but one gender is fluid while the other is constant, does not end up excluded.

Since it's going on bilesproblems when I make the proper post, let's use lesbians as an example. Most bisexuals will not identify as lesbians. They don't need to be told that under no circumstances can they ever be a lesbian in order to not identify as a lesbian. They just go "yeah no I don't think that describes me." Bisexuals who do identify as lesbians have their own personal reasons for resonating with the lesbian label, and shouldn't be excluded, because if there was nothing about the label that described them, then they wouldn't feel compelled to identify with it. Most men will not identify as lesbians either. The definition doesn't need to make sure to state you're not a man and be strictly enforced. It's only necessary to describe what genders one may be, and if a man is multigendered, otherwise genderqueer, trans, or has some other reason to feel like a lesbian, then just let him be a lesbian. If the word did not describe him, he would practice self exclusion.

Self exclusion is NOT denying oneself an identity because of exclusionists despite resonation. It only refers to going "that doesn't describe me, so it doesn't resonate with me, and I do not identify with it." It's usually not conscious. In my own inclusionist theory, it would be the answer to "well then what's stopping straight cis men from identifying as lesbians?" and other similar questions. We don't need something to stop them. They won't actually, in their hearts, identify as lesbians if the word doesn't describe them or resonate with them in some way. It is not necessary to stop certain people from identifying with something. All you do is ignore nuance.

TL;DR Self exclusion theory is a general rule that says labels only need to be defined by what they are, not what they aren't, and nobody needs to be forcefully excluded. People who the label doesn't describe will naturally choose not to identify with it, and those who do identify with a label will always have their reasons to feel it describes them.

Thank you I feel like people also just overlook the fact that if someone didn't identify as something(or being a lesbian ahem) and use it as a joke or something to mock "actual lesbians" it'd be SUPER obvious. Like no the lesboy that is really proud in their identity while talking about it a lot and not even using a mocking tone isn't mocking lesbians. If they were, you would know they were.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

A/N: Forgot about this little number in my drafts.

Eddie is so unhinged by what he had just seen that he assumes it's just a dream. In reality, Chrissy doesn't buy drugs from him. In reality, she doesn't fucking die like that in his trailer. In reality, he wouldn't have been able to overpower a jock especially Steve Harrington, the subject of his dreams since sophomore year. There is just no way that Steve fucking Harrington hit him with an oar and there's just no way that Eddie is pressed up against him, holding a bottle to his throat.

"This is a fucking dream. You know how I know this is a dream?" Eddie asked quietly.

"How?" Steve asked.

"Because you're here, and why would you be here with me if it wasn't a dream?" Eddie asked, and Steve's eyes softened. "You know what happens next?"

"What?" Steve asked, looking intrigued.

"This."

It's a dream. There are no consequences in dreams, he tells himself. Eddie drops the bottle and places a gentle hand against Steve’s throat. He pressed his lips against Steve’s, kissing him. Eddie ignored the shocked gasps from behind him. He was pretty sure it was Robin who squawked loudly. Steve froze. That's weird. He never froze in his dreams. Never. Shit, maybe this wasn't a dream. Just as he was about to pull away, Steve gripped the back of his vest and started to kiss him back. Oh, fuck. It was better than he could have imagined. So, yeah, definitely not a dream. Just as Steve slipped his tongue into his mouth, Dustin tapped him on the back, and he pulled back to look questioningly at him.

"I give you full permission to feel up our babysitter later. We have questions now," Dustin said.

"This is definitely not a dream," Eddie said.

"Uh, yeah, we can definitely finish this discussion later," Steve said, licking his lips.

Eddie moved away before he could be tempted again and leaned against the wall as he started talking with Dustin. Meanwhile, he vaguely saw Robin go check on Steve, and then he heard his whispered voice.

"I don't know, Robin! I didn't know I liked guys until now. Yes, you would have been the first person I told!" Steve exclaimed.

Eddie didn't focus on what Robin had to say, too focused on Steve. Did he give Steve Harrington a crisis? Eddie smirked. He hoped so. They didn't have a chance to discuss what happened until they had all been dragged to the Upside Down. He had seen the way Nancy and Steve had looked at each other. Of course, they made more sense than Steve wanting to be with him. She'd be better for him anyway. So, he started pushing Steve towards Nancy, giving him a speech and everything. He was also trying to ignore how good he looked in his vest. Meanwhile, Steve was giving him a look like he was an idiot, his hands on his hips.

" - That's an ambiguous sign of - "

"No."

"What? But you don't even know what I was going to say!"

"No!"

"But Steve - !"

"Yeah, no, not happening."

"Why?"

"Really?"

Steve sighed. He cupped Eddie's face and kissed him sweetly for a moment before pulling back. His hands were still on his face. He stroked Eddie's cheek with his thumb.

"You're acting like an idiot. I like you," Steve said.

"Why?" Eddie asked.

"I'm starting to question that myself," Steve smirked.

"Are you sure I'm not dreaming?" Eddie asked.

Steve sighed and reached behind him to pinch his ass. Eddie squeaked.

"Yeah, okay, so not a dream."

Steve chuckled and laced his fingers with Eddie's.

"So, you dream about me?" Steve asked.

"On and off since sophomore year," Eddie said. "I saw this freshman sitting with his friends who laughed like they were hyenas, and even though he had friends, he never looked more lonely. I couldn't get him out of my head since. Plus, he was cute as hell, especially in those tight little polos he wears. Still thought you were an asshole but I'm glad I was wrong about that."

"I thought I hated you for a long time, you know. I was kind of obsessed. I tried not to look at you, but you made it hard with those speeches of yours. I looked anywhere else but at you, and I realize now that it was because I actually liked you. I always thought you were pretty. Still do. I think I was jealous that you didn't have to hide behind this mask that my parents so lovingly gave me. You're brave, Eddie," Steve said.

"I'm not - " Eddie started to say.

"You're brave."

"You're brave too, Steve."

And later, when he's laying in a hospital bed with Steve Harrington holding his hand, a part of Eddie still couldn't believe it. He glared at Steve.

"How is it that you still look beautiful under these shitty hospital lights? I take it back. This isn't a dream. You're the dream. I mean - Jesus H Christ! I can't even look at you," Eddie groaned.

"Eddie!" Steve laughed.

"Nope! Fuck off!" Eddie exclaimed but the corners his mouth were twitching.

"Eddie!"

"To gaze upon such beauty is to gaze upon death! I shan't look upon thy face anymore," Eddie said dramatically.

Steve giggled, blushing. What the fuck? Did he just make Steve Harrington giggle? No, this can't be happening. Steve reached over and kissed him, biting his lip as he pulled back.

"Not a dream," Steve muttered.

Eddie looked at him, and he actually believed him. He couldn't make shit like this up. Steve took his hand and kissed it as his eyes began to flutter close. He smiled, knowing that Steve would still be there in the morning.

[custardmylove]

Could we learn a bit more about your hsr oc?

OMG YES YOU CAN! thankyou for allowing me to yap guys, i love him so much and you have made my day <33

I'm going to be talking about my Honkai Star Rail OC Viane! Who by the way looks like this,

Viane is a four star Imaginary unit that follows the path of destruction and uses a pen as his weapon for attacks as seen in his splash art I made :3

i wrote a lot guys so open the cut for more-

Viane uses he/him pronouns, is human and is sixteen years old. He would be introduced into the game at the beginning of the Penacony Trailblaze Quest but would have been mentioned in game multiple times before as he's a famous anonyms author who writes under the name 'Moros'.

Moros is most well known for their incredible fantasy / mystery series with three books currently published and a fourth announced but with no release date, leaving many readers restless causing some to sour and begin to criticise him and his older books.

-

Viane began writing because he wasn't very social, not doing well with large crowds or loud noises and as such led him to avoid many children his age when he was younger. He began to share his writing at the age of twelve when he gained international acclaim at age fourteen with a short story of his.

Viane keeps himself and Moros very separate, the public only knowing that Moros writes his books himself and travels a lot.

Viane has a very small number of people who know his identity and even then, he's never met them in person as they are primarily his publishers and other such people.

The reason for the fourth book in his series taking so long is that he has simply lost motivation and the spark he once had for writing being lost and he doesn't really know what to do with himself. It was then when he received an invitation for the Charmony Festival on Penacony.

Usually Viane ignores invitations and the such but the difference here was that the invitation referred to him as both Viane and Moros, meaning the sender knew his true identity. And thus, Viane went to Penacony to find out who sent him the invitation and get some inspiration for his fourth book.

How he gets roped into the main troubles in Penacony is basically when his drafts for the fourth book are found in his hotel room without him in it by March and the Trailblazer sometime after the death of Robin. The weird thing is that the draft has some very strong parallels to the situation, as if someone was emulating the crime written in the draft and so the Trailblazer and March have to try and find Moros.

Viane meanwhile is freaking out when he realises this, it truly being a coincidence since he wrote that draft months ago. Viane also gets closly acquaintances with Misha who he can see thanks to the fact that his believes align so closely to the Astral Express / Trailblaze as well for the fact that his Mother once briefly travelled with the Express before he was born.

ANYWAYS, angst ensures thanks to Misha and Viane being so close and Viane discovers himself truly and his passions and from Penacony onwards, travels with the Astral Express to further discover himself and to try and figure out what to do with himself. (also wanting to hold onto what Misha found dear and not let Misha disappear from the world fully)

Viane is a bit blunt if not stand-of-ish but thats just his pure lack of social skills. Even when he notices something that might be important he often doesn't say anything for fear of being called stupid for mentioning it, even if he knows that the people on the Express would never do that.

Viane's attacks involve his love for writing. Basic attack is him writing a word in the air before directing it at the enemy to attack them dealing imaginary damage.

I don't know about his skill or ultimate so any ideas would be nice to hear :D

UH, I think that's all I have for now, thanks for letting me yap a lot lol, I usually have a lot of stuff thought out for my ocs but can never find a way to share it all -w- Here are some other stuff I made for Viane as well to finish this rant off -w-

[hsslilly-blog]

Here's Grace and Sofia, Claire and Hunt’s babies. Grace is the older one and she was born on January 12th, 2021. Sofia came three years later, on November 24th. So they're not here yet.

Both their birth-dates are prone to change, as I think Grace may have been born a year or two later, and I don't think Sofia is a November baby. This post has been in my drafts since August 7th and I haven't been able to decide that yet. I use mostly she/her for Sofia throughout this post, but later in life they start going by them/them. Anyhow, I've written a bit about them both under the cut.

Grace was born prematurely at 28 weeks, so she had to spend a few weeks in a NICU in a respirator. As a consequence, she ended up developing asthma. It’s not something life-threatening nowadays, but the entire situation was very stressful for her parents and it definitely strengthened Claire's anxieties around being a mother. Nevertheless, Grace grows up to be a happy girl. As for Sofia, she was a full term pregnancy and she was born a little under 8 pounds... big baby. This was a much more positive experience for everyone.

They were both planned pregnancies. Claire took a lot of issue with this at first — with Grace — due to her own upbringing. Overall, her first pregnancy really took a toll on her and it added to a list of problems Claire had been ignoring and bottling up. She went through a little crisis some time after Grace was born, which, well, made her feel even more inadequate as a mother. Hunt stepped in so Claire could take a moment for herself and work through her issues. It worked out in the end, but it did leave her wondering if her relationship with Grace is what it could've been.

Personality-wise, they're both very cheery and sunny kids. Sofia is the extroverted one and she's very practical. Grace is more measured and shy, but she's very friendly. Sofia takes things easily, is very quick to apologise when wrong and doesn't hold grudges. Meanwhile, Grace is very stubborn, but very dedicated too. And they get along very well! Grace enjoys being a big sister.

Out of the two, Grace is the one most interested in their parents' careers and in the arts, in general. When they were planning for their kids, Claire and Hunt both agreed they'd allow their babies to pursue whatever artistic endeavour they wanted to as long as they didn't do it professionally until older. This means Grace starts acting, and she enjoys it a lot, but her true passion turns out to be filmmaking. She loves making short films, usually with her sister or with her friends from school.

On the other hand, Sofia loves football and basically every other sport there is. They do gymnastics for a while, then she plays baseball for another while, and once she gets bored of that too they take up swimming. Most of all, Sofia loves dancing. She starts taking ballet classes after watching Barbie's The Swan Lake. She also loves drawing. As you may notice, she's very fleeting and always trying new things. Sofia starts experimenting with their gender very young and they start going by Fee and using they/them pronouns around the time they're 12.

They're named after Grace Kelly and Sophia Loren (by me, not in universe; though it could be in universe too since their parents are nerds.) That's all I have to share for now!

[moodsandtenses]

Dracula's Guest: in which a business trip gets off to a rough start

Welcome back to Dracula Daily season! If you want to kick things off a little early this year, why not treat yourself to a read-through of Dracula’s Guest? Cut from the novel in the drafting process (ETA: the specifics of where exactly it fit into the plot of Dracula are a little fuzzy, for complicated reasons), and later published as a separate short story, it takes place today on April 30, also known as Walpurgis Nacht. The whole thing’s available here, thanks to Project Gutenberg.

Some further discussion of this absolute wild ride of a not-quite-canon side trip below:

Dracula’s patented “when in doubt, address the problem with Wolves” strategy gets off to an early start

We join Dracula’s guest - unnamed in the story, but pretty obviously Rough Draft Jonathan Harker - in Munich, on the first leg of his business trip to Transylvania. If this had been part of the finished book, it would have really front-loaded the tension, giving Jonathan a whole Vampire Sidequest to get involved in before he even gets to Transylvania. A few fun facts worth noting here: 

The Dracula Daily community has done a lot to rehabilitate Jonathan Harker’s reputation, restoring his place as a courageous, resourceful vampire hunter and countering the pop-culture image of him as a clueless naif that’s persisted since the early film adaptations. Rough Draft Jonathan, meanwhile…well, he really is a whole lot more Like That. The whole first chunk of “Dracula’s Guest” mostly consists of him cheerfully ignoring a SPECTACULAR parade of red flags: 

Whereupon he burst out into a long story in German and English, so mixed up that I could not quite understand exactly what he said, but roughly I gathered that long ago, hundreds of years, men had died there and been buried in their graves; and sounds were heard under the clay, and when the graves were opened, men and women were found rosy with life, and their mouths red with blood. And so, in haste to save their lives (aye, and their souls!—and here he crossed himself) those who were left fled away to other places, where the living lived, and the dead were dead and not—not something. He was evidently afraid to speak the last words. As he proceeded with his narration, he grew more and more excited. It seemed as if his imagination had got hold of him, and he ended in a perfect paroxysm of fear—white-faced, perspiring, trembling and looking round him, as if expecting that some dreadful presence would manifest itself there in the bright sunshine on the open plain. Finally, in an agony of desperation, he cried: “Walpurgis nacht!” and pointed to the carriage for me to get in. All my English blood rose at this, and, standing back, I said: “You are afraid, Johann—you are afraid. Go home; I shall return alone; the walk will do me good.” The carriage door was open. I took from the seat my oak walking-stick—which I always carry on my holiday excursions—and closed the door, pointing back to Munich, and said, “Go home, Johann—Walpurgis-nacht doesn’t concern Englishmen.”

Abandoned village plagued by rumors of the Un-Dead? Carriage driver crossing himself repeatedly and refusing to go near the place? Even the horses are panicking and trying to get away? Sounds like a lovely place for an afternoon stroll! Sorry, I’m simply too English for foreshadowing. 

(Maybe this is just what comes of being engaged to Mina Murray, goth girl extraordinaire, who will later display the same “when in doubt, make a beeline for the creepiest local ghost stories” approach to vacation planning in Whitby.)

The inscription on the tomb of the vampire that Jonathan 1.0 encounters - who might or might not be one of the Brides of Dracula - identifies her as “COUNTESS DOLINGEN OF GRATZ, IN STYRIA.” Styria is, of course, the setting of Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu’s 1872 vampire novel Carmilla, suggesting a direct connection between the two stories that didn't make it into the final novel.

The tomb is also inscribed with a Russian translation of “The Dead Travel Fast,” the same line from the German gothic ballad Lenore that will later get quoted at Jonathan on his first encounter with Dracula himself. He just cannot get away from that quote (and the gothic heroine narrative parallels inherent therein). 

Jonathan is saved from his nearly-fatal encounter with Countess Dolingen by a very familiar wolf, before being rescued by a search party of soldiers (who are understandably pretty freaked out about the whole affair). The maître d’ of his hotel later reveals to him that he knew to send out a search party thanks to a quietly hilarious telegram from Dracula himself, who’s evidently decided to take proactive steps to protect his guest/investment/snack for later:

Bistritz. Be careful of my guest—his safety is most precious to me. Should aught happen to him, or if he be missed, spare nothing to find him and ensure his safety. He is English and therefore adventurous. There are often dangers from snow and wolves and night. Lose not a moment if you suspect harm to him. I answer your zeal with my fortune.—Dracula.

The whole story is obviously Not Canon as far as Dracula proper is concerned - and in particular, the more oblivious narrator here is a pretty far cry from the Jonathan we've all come to know and love over the past several time loops. But all the same, it's a fascinating look at what could have been, and furnishes some intriguing ingredients for Dracula-adjacent storytelling (thanks to that Carmilla connection in particular). And it is pretty funny to imagine Jonathan going through All That and then just cheerfully getting back to travel-blogging his trip for Mina like absolutely nothing happened. All like, “Well, that was terrifying! Anyway.”

[jeonginsleftcheek]

omg okay so this is definitely inspired by not only the fuckboy lix but also the other works in your masterlist and they all swirled up and mixed in my brain and im just in emo hours right now so theres also that so...

College au ofc where the pretty and popular hyunjin falls in love at first sight with y/n but she thinks he's a player. He doesn't even act like it, he's actually rather shy and sweet and awkward but shes like oh no way he has to be getting pussy bc he is too damn hot! So she fucks him riiiiight? And the sex is... ok, he's very passionate tho and she goes on with her life. Hyunjin is clinging to her more and more though and she's like ??? bc isnt he supposed to be a player? Even though shes developing feelings, she keeps pushing him away bc she doesnt wanna get hurt when he leaves or plays her, but that only makes him go after her more which is strange bc theyre casual right, like shes still sleeping with other people (FELIX) and flirting around. Here's the thing though- hyunjin assumed they were dating the whole time. Like he's in love with her. She's his first relationship. Not a player. No bitches. Ngl im thinking of semi delusional hyunjin who is like "well why did u flirt with me if you werent serious" because he's such a pure romantic at heart. So however y/n finds out that hyune thinks their dating, maybe she overheard him tlking to someone else or her called her gf or something, so she panics and goes to talk about it with her fuckbuddy best friend Felix. But wait more drama!!! Felix knew the entire time because he shares a class with Hyunjin and has heard him gushing about you for the past few months. He's a possessive little shit and not about to allow you to be taken away from him, even if it means making you look like trash to hyunjin. So now youre between having to tell your boyfriend that youve been cheating and him and that he's actually not even your boyfriend. Oh and your best friend cant keep his hands off of you 🤷‍♀️

Thinking of the angst- when you ignore him hyunjin is scrambling to "mend" the relationship so u dont leave him, meanwhile u have no idea. Ugh and when lix leaves a mark or you smell like him and poor hyune thinks its ok as long as you come back to him at the end of the day like 🥺. Or felix seeing you slowly fall for hyunjin but deny yourself so he keeps putting words in your head about this and that so that u keep pushing hyunjin away and pulling him closer AAAAAARGHHHH

bestie when i started reading this ask, my heart leaped out of my chest bcs i have something similar planned for months and it's in my drafts-

literally a college au with hyunjin where she thinks he's a player but he's actually not, just that is the same but i won't reveal the rest of the story🤭

though i love your idea i might think about it eventually😏

love the drama💅🏻

[tessarionbestgirl]

If you could fix S2. How would do it?

Oh boy.

I, look there is so many things I would change about the show.

But, ok, second season only, plot wise. I would have had more locations to the story.

In the show we had, technically 5. Kingslanding, Dragonstone, the Driftmark the Arryn and Harrenhall. But truly there were only 3 relevant ones. I would change that.

For the first 4 episodes I will had Jace and wall 3 episodes focused on him the North, bounding with Cregan and Sarah. Make him seeing the nature of what being a bastad means, show him people making less of him. I would even make Sarah Snow older than Cregan and actually, in this sense, the royal heiress, would add so much in the sweet irony of his life, have to bargain and becomes close with people that have the same mentality of his enemy.

Meanwhile as close he get to Sarah, we saw Baela frustration with her father getting bigger and then receiving news that Jace didn't texted her. In episode 4 Jace cames back, he ignored her over shame and the. her grandma died. But she wouldn't go to Rhaenyra, because one thing I would change was Rhaenyra sending Rhenys, so she would not feel comfort to talking to her. In my drafts for the fix fanfic I had for S2, this scene was one of the first that come in mind.

Alyn walked to the docs at night, and see Baena sit there, he turn around, not wanting to disturb the young princess, but she stop him by making him a question in a defeated voice.

"What was my young mother like?", Alyn turns around and swallows noticing the young princess was looking at him. Baela laughs dryly.

"I know.... My father, my sister and even Jace don't think I understand, just because I don't say, but I always observing, I am always listening, and listed when Rhenys told me years ago Driftmark had a direct male sucessor."

"I don't pretend to hold such responsibility, a man like me.." Baela laughs again, interrupting him.

"The future king, my future husband is a man like you." Alyn is surprised and shocked by her honesty. He doesn't know whether to leave or stay there.

"For the days I only had my mom, my grandmother and my sister." She closes her eyes holding back tears. And open again, there is anger there. " Now I lost them both, 2 by dragon fire, and the other for the Vale."

She pauses and a tear runs down her cheek, Alyn is touched.

"But the worse part, I I barely remember my mother." Alyn sits next to her.

"I don't remember mine either." Both looking at the sea ahead. " But I do remember yours, she had the fire of the dragon on her, it took awhile for her that fire to burn inside her, but when it did, everyone saw how much it shone, you have the same fire on you."

Then after in episode 5 I would have choose to show add another location the Reach, Otto would be captured and they could introduce Daeron here, and show the conflict there because Ryan had the brilliant idea of making kings landing lack of food because of a barricade at sea, but forgot to explain why neither Reach or Stormlands are not sending food into kingslanding and plot would be useful for this, and I would end with Daeron marching.

Then in Kingslanding I would change some things. First I would make Alicent being conflicted about the war, but after Jaehaerys, that would confirmed every fear she had, and that would make her embracing revenge and the desire to make them pay and since the show likes to play this as Rhaenyra vs Alicent I would have make Alicent actually advising Aegon behind the doors, until the battle in which he became a dragon barbecue, now that would male sense for Aemond shut her down and seeing how dangerous he is all the power she lost she goes to the Harrenhall with Healana and met Daemon and Rhaenyra with Cole and the green army to propose to separate the kingdom in half.

For Rhaenyra I would have make her saying " A son for a son." Instead of only "Aemond." Because at least when Daemon and her fight the blame not only would fall on him, and would be a better transition to her character accepting she needs to do bad to win, and you could read her mind going "oh well That was horrible but it suits me, maybe the ends justify the means."

Helaena is other story but all her arc that happened off screen I would make on screen. She realising her visions are a thing, probably through a conversation between her and Aemond where he would say to her he feels sorry for the Jaehaerys' death.

Then she accepting his fate, and meeting Alys in a dream, and probably dreaming with Maelor and having sex with Aegon after he got burn. Because that only would add to the tragedy of her conceiving him because of a vision she had and then he dies. That would drive someone suicidal.

Is that good enough? I don't know but maybe when I was not tired as I am I even write that fanfic.

[atlasofthestaars]

ok wait i just reread one of my drafts for a fic and like ??? ok i think i miss my old writing style here because I COOKED imo

uh blah blah it's under the cut, it's a little snippet of that little drabble set I was working on "a heart's beat" where they realize they're in love with you. the part below is just PART of bi-han's section because one of my favorite past times is bullying the man by giving him emotions

It was the moment Bi-Han realized that he didn’t quite mind your presence.

Bi-Han was not a man who socialized. That was a well known fact. Anyone who met him would know that immediately from the standoffish aura he had. One wouldn't even have to even to talk to him, in fact, to know this. The almost permanent glare he seemed to wear was an indication enough. Bi-Han was fine with this reputation. 

And yet, despite this reputation, you seemed to always be nearby. Oftentimes, if a Lin Kuei member went to the office of their almighty grandmaster, you would be lounging casually there. You would always look relaxed, comfortable, as if the room were instead yours. Despite you being an intrusion on the supposed privacy of their grandmaster, Bi-Han never seemed to mind. In fact, he almost seemed to encourage it. After all, it wasn’t just mere coincidence that you just so happened to have your own little sofa to relax on.

If anyone were to ask Bi-Han though, he’d simply send them a glare. If it were Tomas or Kuai Liang asking, he’d also mutter something on how you would be messing around with his other furniture otherwise. Everyone saw past the glares and knew the silent truth, but no one said anything. It was nice to see their grandmaster be a little more soft.

Not that anyone would tell the grandmaster that. 

The extent of your presence around the Grandmaster wasn’t limited to just hanging around in his office. Outside of the office, you could be seen sitting next to him during meal times. Or you could be seen by his side when he went to observe training. You two were attached at the hip, and the members of the clan would never stop marveling over it.

Sometimes they joked in the quietest of rooms, since they feared either you or their grandmaster would overhear, that you would soon accompany their grandmaster on missions. You didn’t, but when he was out, oftentimes they found you lingering near the entrance. No matter how many times they jested or gossiped over it, they all knew that deep down they were at least a little envious of the close bond the two of you had. 

Bi-Han, meanwhile, took a little while longer than everyone else to realize the fact that he too, craved your presence. Was it a matter of pride, unwilling to recognize the little signs of attraction? Or was it a matter of ignorance, being so emotionally stunted he was unable to identify the signs since they seemed like a foreign language to him. The reason was unknown, but did it really matter? In the end, he figured it out and it hit him like a truck all the same.

[fincalinde]

nice to see you back on here! if you're answering questions again, i've had something i've been meaning to ask, if you don't mind. do you have any thoughts on the things wwx and jc did for each other?

I'm never truly gone. Whenever you see a fox scurrying about its business in the twilight, I am with you in spirit. By which I mean I'm very busy but I do get a notif if someone sends me an ask.

This one has sat in my drafts for a while and it's still quite messy, but I thought I'd better just get it off the to do list and move on. So, the Twin Heroes!

I've seen quite a bit of negativity towards JC in my time, usually accusing him of all manner of iniquities that aren't actually supported by the text. To make my own position clear: I don't think JC did nothing wrong ever in his life. But I do think he's a capable clan leader and an extremely loyal brother who tried very hard to make things work with WWX.

Let's start with the biggie: WWX gives JC his core. It is an incredible act of love to be sure. Functionally it saves JC's life (he's not going to last long in that state) along with preserving the existence of the Jiang Clan itself. I don't have a problem with WWX making a unilateral decision here, because he knows JC won't agree otherwise and the stakes could not be higher. It also makes sense that the Grandmaster of Impulsive Cultivation conceals the entire thing from JC. He knows the effect the truth will have on JC, and he's just trying to get them through the current crisis and worry about the consequences later. So I think his choices are understandable in a desperate situation where there are no good options.

To be honest, what bothers me is WWX's subsequent dumbassery. My god, man, what is the point of making a monumental sacrifice for someone and then proceeding to fuck shit up for him on a regular basis afterwards?

WWX's behaviour is catastrophic for the Jiang. I understand that he's in his emo goth era and I don't expect him to make perfect decisions at all times, but the way he treads on JC's toes makes my teeth hurt. Quite probably WWX himself was never going to end up in a good place, since his demonic cultivation made him too much of a threat for the Jin (or society at large) to leave him in peace. But that's not particularly relevant to the way he undermines JC. On more than one occasion, JC is doing his best to navigate a delicate political situation and WWX clomps in with his size 13s and makes everything worse for everyone. This, as much as popular sentiment turning against WWX, is a huge driver in why they have to fake their falling out and sever ties publicly.

Meanwhile, JC makes an equivalent sacrifice for WWX—he lets himself be captured, even though it results in the loss of his core and, as far as he knows at the time, the functional extinction of his clan. This is revealed right at the end of MDZS, encouraging the reader to look back at the novel and recontextualise JC's actions throughout. JC put WWX above his own life and the continued existence of his clan. There can be no question that he made as enormous a sacrifice for WWX as WWX made for him. Their mutual ignorance of this fact for so many years is the heart of their tragedy.

But crucially, there remains a difference between WWX and JC. Because JC doesn't only come through for WWX when the stakes are high. Right up until the death of JYL, JC is the one trying to balance his responsibility to his clan with his desire to protect WWX. For a start, they fake the cutting of ties between WWX and the Jiang, when it arguably would be much less risky for JC to cut ties in actuality. JC is also the one taking further risks by allowing WWX to see JYL in her wedding clothes. He even suggests WWX gets to pick her child's courtesy name. These things show a pattern of consideration that WWX simply does not match.

Let's not forget, JC does a decent job as clan leader. He's very young, and unlike NMJ or LXC, he has to build his clan again from literally nothing. Disciples need to be recruited and trained from scratch. Lotus Pier needs to be rebuilt—without Jin gold. He's doing what needs to be done to ensure the Jiang Clan continues to exist, yet still attempting to balance that with his loyalty to WWX even as WWX becomes more and more of a liability. Yes, WWX is being affected by the resentful energy he's cultivating, but his arrogance has been present from the start. It's not that the resentful energy is creating new traits in him, but that existing traits are being exaggerated.

WWX does a lot of very admirable and brave things and he is pretty much always trying to do right by the people he cares about i.e. the Jiang and the Wenmants. The trouble is that he's fundamentally not capable of recognising the damage he's also doing. His altercation with JZX over the soup is one thing—though JC (with JGS) has to pull him off JZX and it makes a bad situation worse, it's an understandable impulse reaction to seeing his beloved shijie being mistreated. But despite the negative consequences of his impulsivity, he never learns to stop and gather more information before reacting (unlike JZX!). He continues to undermine JC by letting the whole world see that he doesn't respect his authority. This really is where I as a reader get stuck: what use is the grand gesture of the core swap when the more everyday consideration is so totally lacking?

I also think it's interesting that in the temple JGY points out to JC that if he'd stuck by WWX, no one could have done anything about it and things might have turned out quite differently. I don't think JGY is being truthful here; or at the very least, if he is being truthful then I don't agree with his assessment. It's a remark intended to goad JC and prod him where he's most sensitive, and it's successful in that regard. I'd be willing to bet that deep down JC does fear that if he'd backed up WWX then everything might have been all right and JZX and JYL would still be alive.

But it's simply not true. WWX's affiliation with the Jiang is catastrophic for them. He openly flouts JC's authority—and of course his demonic cultivation taints the Jiang by association, particularly in light of the Jin smear campaign. WWX's intervention to rescue the Wenmants is the last excuse JGS needs to do what he planned from the beginning: put a target on WWX's back. This isn't a post about whether or not WWX's actions to protect the Wenmants are moral; it's merely an observation that they put JC and the Jiang at risk by association, especially when WWX also deliberately insults the Jin in a public forum. The Jin don't exactly need to work hard to sabotage WWX's reputation: they're merely handing him the rope and he's merrily tying the noose. On a pragmatic level, an actual estrangement rather than a fake one would have been the more better option for JC if his sole priority was the wellbeing of his clan and not also his love for WWX.

On the other hand, if WWX had continued with his demonic cultivation but respected the authority of his clan leader and not undermined him in public, JC might have been more able to effectively protect him. I'm not entirely convinced by that argument, but I certainly find it more plausible than the idea that JC backing WWX would have prevented the consequences of the determined Jin smear campaign.

Essentially, my point is that I'm not splitting hairs about the degree to which JC and WWX love each other. Their love for each other is not in question. Nor is it in question that they have made equally huge sacrifices for each other. But there's the rub. What about the small sacrifices? Who is making those? More often than not, it's JC. JC has the weight of his clan's survival on his shoulders and he still does his best to remain privately loyal to WWX despite the risk it poses to his own position. He only turns on WWX when WWX's actions result in the death of JZX and JYL—JYL being arguably the only person they both love even more than they love each other. (Sorry, LWJ. You only make the leaderboard in Life 2.) Meanwhile, WWX is willing to give up his core for JC but not willing to make the effort to present a united front against political foes who are actively trying to destroy them. He loves JC, but I see no evidence that he respects him.

[anulithots]

ok so i'm a bit curious

why does anuli hate faerself, and how does faer happiness cause harm to others? i've seen some posts about faer and fae is so interesting!!! if the reason is a spoiler for your wip i completely understand!!!! fae is my favorite <33

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASKKKKKKK! <3 <3

I think spoilers are better than trailers, shrugs SO YES I SHALL INFODUMP!! (Also most of this is backstory and I'll eventually get to the present day plot... aka: Anuli's insane shenanigans in an effort to rewrite faerself.)

("ANULI GUESS WHAT? YOU'RE GETTING FANART AND BEING A FAVORITE!!!"

... ignore faer reaction.)

Anuli is a houseplant, and given that fae's outside and permanently separated (fae doesn't remember how and I don't want to write it... it was in previous drafts, and I wasn't feeling it.), the elders of the Unseen deemed faer as condemned pretty much immediately, no whole 'evaluation period' like with other fairies (it's a whole process that's still pretty much inescapable when someone important suspects a fairy, but since the process is complicated the elders can use the excuse that they give the condemned/fallen fairies plenty of chances.)

So while all that happens in the background -Anuli's never that aware of the worldbuilding... or the world in general - Anuli's tethered to a 'fence' near Kamari's tree, (The elders wanted to condemn them both, so they placed Anuli near Kamari... meanwhile found family ensues). Anuli spends faer day daydreaming, telling stories, and hoping that Kamari stays forever and STOPS LEAVING.

Anuli gets both understimulated (can't get faer ideas out that much and this causes faer feelings to build up) and overstimulated (faer tether is really itchy to faer and without anyone around to distract faer from it, the tether bothers faer) when Kamari leaves, which causes faer to do everything under the sun to stay happy and pleasant. Anuli feels everything so strongly: happiness, distress, boredom, and fae often gets overwhelmed by them.

To deal with said emotions, fae makes stories to process them, and its happy endings fae clings to the most, and it's happy endings fae has a difficult time with.

All that's to say, one day Kamari leaves for a little longer than usual, and Anuli gets sooo upset at everything that fae tears off faer tether and goes to search for Kamari.

One whole arc I still have to write later, in which Kamari's entire life implodes, and the platonic ship implodes, and Anuli's safe place implodes, and Anuli is effectively a fallen fairy and...

Whenever Anuli is happy, fae makes some sort of mistake. Mistakes cause pain to others, ruin thier happy endings. Happy endings are what Anuli struggles with, so the story must not want faer to have one. What sort of character can't have a happy ending, what sort of character hurts others and deserves to suffer?

Villains, of course.

And because Anuli processes all faer thoughts and feelings through stories, fae puts faerself in this box, and justifies it because every. single. time. fae's happy fae makes some sort of mistake and spirals right afterwards. Every. single. time. fae's happy then Kamari suffers (fae isn't exactly wrong here...) and it's awful and there's so many icky emotions that Anuli cannot handle. Every. single. time. fae's happy Anuli re-realizes that everyone would be better off if fae wasn't.

So fae tries not to be. (fae wants it so bad)

Fae repeats the whole 'ripping off tether' situation, Kamari's distress afterwards, over and over and over again, constantly stews in that regret, over and over and over and over.

Fae deserves it. All that self-caused suffering and little self-destructive behaviors. It's a good thing, then not only will no one else have to suffer, but faer sensitive soul won't have to deal with the pain

TL;DR: it's a safety mechanism so faer past doesn't repeat itself (it always does).

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE ASKKK!!!!! KKFDSF I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY LITTLE BEAN

[berrypass-de-murdler]

52. A Return to the Institute

I was feeling crappy about the series again, and then I saw stuff you all said, and I feel better <3 I love everyone who reads this series <3

I have Admiral Navy done but I was kicked upstairs so I can't take a picture right now, yayy!! guess I'll have to save him for next episode ;;

For the time being, I finally gachafied the goat lord!! I spent multiple drafts on this so I hope he looks okai. He's a silli babiboi <3

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

Logico goes back to the Institute - of course, the place where he first laid eyes on Irratino. It’s overgrown and dead (just like Irratino), and the only person there is a body… and the other people who work there. But ignoring that… the luxurious tree that smothered newcomers is immediately a dying wilt without the goat lord’s warmth, and no one wants to play mini-golf ever again. Oh right the body.

Raven flies around the lookout tower, circling it.

LOGICO: Like a vulture above its newest prey.

Onyx pokes around with a poking stick because she’s too short, until she sees Logico, and realizes what the real definition of short is. Meanwhile,

FLINT: I want Irratino’s money. He’s got so much of it!

He’s met with a swift kick to the nuts. Angry tiny man is not fucking around. 

Logi goes to pee, and his magnificent eye tears up as he remembers how he always used to go pee in the middle of an investigation, and see heartfelt messages written to him on the mirror… 

His heart nearly stops when he sees one. 

“The second shortest suspect had the hypnotic pocket watch.”

That… that’s something only Irratino would say. Logico breathes onto the mirror and writes a message of his own.

“Are you here?”

He prays that the mirror’s fog is a line of communication. But unsurprisingly, he doesn’t get a response. 

Guess the stupid murderer! The greedy bastard.

FLINT: The dude was LITERALLY carrying around a million dollars cash JUST ‘CAUSE HE COULD! I wanted to get SOME of that money, just SOME of it! And I would have, if not for you! Inspector Irratino willed this whole place to the guard who died, because he said he could be trusted!  LOGICO: His… will? He was so young… FLINT: Except that guard trusted ME! ‘Cause of my HYPNOTIC POCKET WATCH! And I used it to get him to put me on the will! And then, well, you’ve figured out what I did then. Haha. And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling short grown man!

Night was there the whole time (but no one noticed and that made them very sad), Onyx was poking at shit the entire time, and Raven was looking for love on the ground below. But Logico doesn’t care.

In fact, he ACTUALLY DOESN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT A MURDER.

Except one.

The end!

(happy irratino gif to distract from encroaching angst)

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[edennill-archived]

I got a lot of comments that time I made a poll about potential Silmarillion adaptations, to the effect that there already are two musicals of the Lay of Leithian, and this, among other things, has prompted me to write down my thoughts on the Rock Operas. I know there's more of them, but I will confess I've only had much contact with the two most famous ones; also fair warning that I'm mostly going to point out faults in this post (not that there aren't things I like in them, but that's not the focus here).

To start with, I'm going to quickly get out of the way the fact that even if none of the following were issues, the Rock Operas would still not cure my hankering for a Beren & Lúthien musical, because out of necessity, they don't have the same vibe as a greater-scale Broadway production and thus aren't really comparable. Now, moving on to my bigger issues with the two productions:

(1) It is difficult for me to get engaged in an entire musical in a language I do not speak — and I admit I'm probably in a better position than many because as a polish speake, with the translation underneath I can understand maybe one word in ten? And when I do — say, when Mandos sings "o synie Barahira" in Leithian — that moment is powerful because it's exactly the same as it would be said in my mother tongue, but otherwise it's reading prose poetry (translated by people without much experience with one of the languages, which shows, though I greatly thank them for their work) with music in the background for me. As a disclaimer, I'll add that this is not a technical complaint, but it certainly impacts my own listening experience.

Edit: This post has been waiting in my drafts for a while, and in the meanwhile, I've realised I can get to one in three (I counted) through repeatedly giving a song an intent listening. I'm even thinking of maybe making a semi-translation into Polish of some, one where I try to keep to cognates when possible even if they're not entirely correct. But I do not see how more people who speak no Slavic language do not find it a problem.

Of course this can sometimes backfire in a way that makes a phrase sound ridiculous.

(2) I also don't agree with all the narrative choices — for one, I am dissatisfied with how the romance is handled in wither Opera, as both make it out that Lúthien falls in love against her will which leaves a bad taste in my mouth — and Finrod Song makes Beren behave like a jerk towards Finrod at times, among other things — neither of which I understand. Then there's the visual side, which I mention since the choreography of most songs bugs me in Leithian. And to top it all off —

(3) We can argue about what historical Russian culture is worth to us right now another time. But these are ongoing productions, and unfortunately I dare say at least 50% the participants are probably in favour of the current war — which, you may understand, makes the situation quite awkward for me as an Eastern European. (I suppose if I found the rest of it absolutely perfect, I might elect to try my best to ignore the fact, but as is I find it bothersome. Which, I suppose, makes me a hypocrite given my thoughts about cancel culture, but never mind.)

[historypoem]

Ohhh, so your life is the lyrics of Tears Over Beers by Modern Baseball? Really out here, with the self-pity playlist blaring, building an entire personality out of this one scene where you’re trapped in conversation with a girl who’s nice, pretty, and, let’s be real, out of your league, but instead of saying something remotely interesting, you’re mentally rolling your eyes, thinking “Ugh, meathead monologue? Really?” Like she owes you some world-altering epiphany about life and love just because you shuffled in with your pathetic sad-boy complex and thought it would be deep if you could suffer through it? Buddy, you’re not living out a poetic tragedy—you’re just a guy with unrealistic expectations and zero self-awareness, sitting there expecting some “angelic muse” to read your mind and fall head-over-heels for your imagined brilliance. Spoiler: she’s just talking about Brad, and you’re not getting a Pulitzer.

So this is what you’ve reduced yourself to? The eternally suffering indie sad boi, trapped in his own mental cage, sighing into a beer about how nobody understands the depth of his introspective pain because they’re all too busy with “shallow” things, like relationships or having fun or, God forbid, talking about things that don’t revolve around you? You’re the guy who hears one girl mention a bad breakup and immediately thinks, “Wow, she’s got no substance.” All the while, you’re sitting there, completely oblivious to the fact that you’re the most boring person at this table. “Oh, she’s ‘friendly and thoughtful and quite awfully pretty’—but she’s got a meathead monologue? Tragic.” My guy, if you’re that picky, why don’t you just date a character from Dostoevsky? That way, she’ll be as tragically boring as you are.

You think you’re deep? Just because you can sit there judging every word that comes out of someone else’s mouth? As if you’re some tragic sage, wallowing in your own self-important critique of society. “Oh, she’s just talking about Brad.” Yeah, well, maybe if you weren’t mentally drafting your next Reddit post about “why women don’t appreciate sensitive guys,” you’d actually realize she’s just trying to make conversation. And you? You’re out here thinking the world owes you an Oscar for enduring her so-called “meathead monologue” while you sit there like a wilted Victorian damsel, like, “Oh, woe is me. Will no one lift this curse of mundane conversation?” You’re basically the guy who thinks he’s too special for small talk, but if we ever got to your thoughts, it’d just be a never-ending stream of self-pity and outdated pop-culture references.

And the way you’ve internalized this Modern Baseball song? It’s actually impressive how much you’ve twisted yourself into thinking you’re some kind of romantic anti-hero because a pretty girl dared to bring up something that doesn’t align with your imaginary script for “How Interesting Women Should Talk to Me.” You’ve convinced yourself that the true tragedy is how she doesn’t understand you, even though you’re the one ignoring her every word and counting the seconds until you can get back to your endless, sad-boy doom scroll through obscure YouTube videos.

Like, you think people are just gonna show up and start spilling their guts with deeply profound insights the minute they meet you, without any effort on your part? You think you’re so special that others should sense your tortured soul, feel your vast emotional needs, and go, “Wow, he’s worth diving deep for.” Meanwhile, the most complex thing you’ve said all week is, “Nobody gets me.” You’ve got all the depth of a kiddie pool filled with store-brand energy drinks, yet you expect people to wade in like it’s some intellectual ocean.

And let’s talk about why Brad ran away, shall we? Because Brad probably ran the second he realized he was gonna have to listen to the same mopey, monotone monologue about “the pain of misunderstood love” for the rest of his life. Brad saw that bleak future coming and did what any sane person would do—he left. Brad looked at you, looked at the energy-sucking black hole of your self-obsessed sad-boy routine, and noped out, faster than you can say “My Chemical Romance.” And now here you are, painting him as a meathead, acting like you’re the victim of shallow people. But in reality, he’s just some guy who didn’t want to end up talking about 18th-century nihilism over beers every night until his will to live evaporated completely.

Let’s face it: you’re so caught up in this romanticized image of your life being some tragic indie song that you’ve forgotten how to actually interact with people. You think you’re the dark knight of loneliness, the patron saint of misunderstood dudes with too many opinions on anime and philosophy. But what are you really? A guy who thinks he’s too good for basic conversation, just sitting there with your arms crossed, mentally berating a girl because she dared to talk about anything other than you. You think you’re Hamlet out here, when really, you’re just a dude at a bar with too much time on his hands and an inflated sense of importance.

This “life is a Modern Baseball song” mentality isn’t a personality; it’s a defense mechanism. You’re hiding behind it because actually getting out there, actually putting in the work to get to know someone? Terrifying. Because then you might actually have to talk about your own life, your own choices, and who you actually are outside of this darkly romanticized pity party you’ve been throwing for yourself since age 15. It’s easier to sit there and sulk, pretend that everyone else is too basic, too boring, too “meathead,” while you get to be the tortured artist sitting on a barstool, counting all the ways that life just doesn’t understand you.

[3katanas]

I've had a few people ask me lately or comment on how many threads I can get out in a sitting sometimes. So I thought I would share some of my 10 years on this hell site/have had way to many muses at one point wisdom with the dash.

First off, for your sanity's sake :)

It's always important to go at your own pace. Don't worry about how long it takes to reply! Because the people who really want to write with you won't care. They'll just be happy that it appears when it does!

If you're not feeling a thread then drop it and start something new. Its really ok to do that and sometimes we forget that. We're here to have fun after all!

Sometimes it's refreshing to just take a break from your drafts/inbox. Spend a day or two just enjoying the dash and interacting with people!

If you're a multiuse, remember that muses can wake up and go to sleep on us without warning. That's ok, roll with it!

Feeling like you've lost momentum? Try adding a new verse or chucking your muse into a new fandom. Sometimes we love our muses but can need a break from the fandom so giving them something new can revitalize them.

Take breaks. Allow yourself time off from Tumblr. If it's stressing you out then it's not doing what it's supposed to do and that's relaxing/hanging out with other nerds.

Try mixing up your writing. If you write longer threads typically, try a day of doing one-liners and let the chaos ensue OR vice versa, expand your writing and dive into your muse and what they are thinking/feeling/doing when replying.

You and your friend vibing one night? Reply back and forth immediately!

And most importantly, its ok to respectfully say no.

Drowning in Drafts/Asks/and Starters? Try these fun ways to tackle them!

Figuring out what your 'average daily limit' is can be super helpful. For me personally, I average around about ten things a day. Use this amount as your benchmark of how many things you want to try to get done. It can help it feel less overwhelming because you're setting a smaller goal. (I actually mange to keep somewhat ontop of my drafts and things with this method personally)

Throw everything into your drafts box (ignore the number of drafts on the side if you do this). This will give you variety when replying to things and make it easier to see what you have on your to-do plate. It also helps you keep on top of old memes/starters because you'll see how long ago they were sent/requested.

Try munching through one muse at a time if you're a multiuse blog OR munching through a specific verse. Pick one and do all the drafts for that muse/verse.

Have a lot of threads from one person? Reply to them all at once (I suggest queuing if you do this so as not to spam them or yourself if they reply quickly). This can get you into the grove because you're following the same timelines/relationships throughout all of the threads.

Don't know where to start? Use the luck of the draw to pick! I personally will throw all of the verses I have to reply to onto this wheel and see what it gives me.

Spend a day doing just memes or those starters you owe.

Does music help you write? Make playlists for different ships/verses/moods etc! (My current count of playlists for Zoro is 27....and counting)

Queuing and Scheduling

The Queue and Scheduling are your friends! I personally use a mix of approaches to these two methods. Here are some things I have found help me:

Have someone you love replying to but responds at lightning speed? Queue it, or schedule it to post the next day so that if they respond quickly it doesn't stress you out while you're trying to get your drafts down.

If I have a lot of threads with someone I'll typically queue more of those, meanwhile if we have only one or two threads I try to post those right away. This helps me feel like I'm not making one person wait longer than another, etc.

Some threads are amazing, but long and can take it out of us. Queue them.

Want to reblog everything at once but also don't want to? Schedule those out for one a day at a time. That way it posts sooner (especially if your queue is large) but not right away.

Adjust the speed at which things queue. In a slump, set the number slower. Writing more? Up that queue posting speed.

And finally, and I can't stress this enough, because I used to also be shy about doing it. Reach out. Start new things. Try new verses. Make new friends. Throw memes at each other. Don't let your drafts box or how much you have to do hold you back from simply enjoying your time on this hell site.

From one mun to another,

Yuki <3

[callipraxia]

okay I’m here to thank you. Do you remember that post from like a Long Time Ago where you talked about what inks you used to plan/outline fwjb on paper? well, a few days after I heard about that, I went to the nearest store and bought the shittiest composition notebook and highlighters you’ve ever fucking seen in your life. then I forgot about it for like a very, Very long time. that's important context.

I suddenly remember it existed three days ago. I picked it up, decorated it, and colored two full pages of marker because. because well why not. The first couple pages are soaked in ink my bad. anyways—I finally decided to start actually WRITING in it, in PENCIL, because while actual writing notebooks would be a lot better than a Fucking Composition Notebook, I’m pinched. so. I did that. and guess what?!? it helped! it fucking helped! my weird ass outlines On Paper! I figured out a WHOLE Three Act Structure for do you remember hanging up the stars, AND have begun loosely sorting all of the POVs I have in the search for future reference. like?!? oh god it’s so helpful to have something I can Look At. very shitty picture attached (ignore the gagging mess of handwriting, never grew out of third grade cursive hybrid lettering, you might not even be able to read it--) (this is for the stars)

so… thank you! this was very helpful and that wasn’t your intention with the post but fuck all I Listened. you’ve got organized writing a lot more than I do, lol. will possibly take More Notes in the future…! :)

oh Wow now im getting feelings from showing off my handwriting to a public for the first time. hopefully this doesnt unlock and unbridled the terrible ordeal of being known anxiety! /lh

Ooh, cool! And your handwriting’s quite nice and very legible, so don’t be anxiety about it!

Composition books are also perfectly valid forms of writing notebook. I’m writing the first draft of Tracey’s journal in one, actually, because that’s the kind of notebook he’s writing in in-universe, and the McGucket memoir’s on a purple legal pad. The FWJB outlines and notes, meanwhile, were written mostly on loose sheets of printer paper, gathered into a folder (which proved invaluable as a supplement for my memory, which went into full leaky-faucet mode for a while halfway or so through IE cos COVID/2022 being Just The Worst Year). Most of my one-shots are written in my tiniest handwriting on bits of scrap paper, including a number of those alignment sheets the printer spits out when you plug it in. As much as I love good-quality notebooks, they aren’t always the right tool for the job…especially if you just hoard them and never deem any idea good enough to ‘waste’ them on (I’m convinced that getting the FWJB notebooks on clearance sale was directly tied psychologically to my willingness to actually use them, somehow or the other).