#{also I don't really use my personal blog anymore so I'm just putting this here}

[askthefamous8]

Even if I haven't been very active lately, 9 years is still pretty significant- happy birthday to the blog!

So like Percy up there I'm gonna do so dome reflecting. This blog's where I've often done that for some reason, but here's the tl'dr for blog related stuff.

• I would like to keep drawing stuff but feeling generally unsure in myself, and I'm wondering if all the years of fandom harrassment have caught up with me • I have one big project in mind, I've been dipping my toe into what I'd need to do it. No spoilers but it was one of the first things I played around with this series, so do with that what you will • If I can keep myself drawing, I want to use more of the original source material since I'm struggling with original ideas. So stuff like redraws, hOpEfULlY even animatics, just like what originally got me so into trains yknow? Because that's fun and sparks joy. And that always goes down a treat with you guys so bonus • As always I appreciate you guys not coming after me for being so inconsistent

The rest of this is me doing what Percy's doing in the drawing and reflecting, as there is indeed much 2 think about. It's also a little sad and venty so, there's your warning there.

.

Ok so obviously a busy year, we moved into our new house that we actually own, I spent most of the year planning our wedding, and then got married. Big stuff. Also! I came off antidepressants in the summer. I've been on them for...basically as long as this blog, 6 months after I started it I think. Which also means I'd been on antidepressants my entire adult life. Feels like a big deal and I guess I'm still adjusting.

Another big thing, but sad, is that my dog died about two weeks ago. If you follow me on twitter you'll have seen her but she did make an appearance here a few Halloweens ago

I got her when she was 13 and had her 8 years after that. So that's been difficult. Unrelated to that (probably), but I just feel...really mediocre. And before you point out the obvious, this has been present even before I came off antidepressants. But yeah just... mediocrity. In myself as a person, how I look, what I draw, my whole life really (barring my marriage thankfully). What have I achieved? I'm 26, I'm not working, I don't feel well, my art isn't good (I don't think so anyway- like yeah it's technically fine I guess but it's not, and has never been, very stand-out or impressive). And lately art doesn't bring me the same joy it once did, and I'm wondering if all the years of harrassment from this fandom (mostly the twitter side, tumblr's been pretty good to me) has finally caught up with me and put me off the whole thing. Or worse, that I just don't have as much of an interest in it anymore. I don't think I'll ever be like "ok yep I'm officially done with this blog" because I'm so stubborn but idk. I want to make things and be creative, I want to make more train art, but it doesn't feel the same. I don't know what's wrong. What do you listen to? What you want vs what you feel? I still enjoy train stuff, I love going to Awdry Ex every year. It's been like this for awhile. It's not even like I have a strong feeling of what I'd rather be doing as far as careers go. And even if I did, oh yeah I'm sure my two degrees in animation will be very relevant in another field (sarcasm). I feel adrift. My sails are open but there is just no wind. Planning my wedding gave me something to do and work on and just, feel useful but now that that's over I feel lost again. Losing my dog, who had become the center of my life because of how vulnerable she had become, hasn't helped.

On the more creative side of things, I also don't really know what to do with this blog's story either. The show's ended as far as most people are concerned, and I kiiinda wrote myself into a corner because once Thomas turns 18 he's going to leave for university, and that sets off this whole arc with James but basically the problem is it involves characters leaving and for some reason that feels like a no-no here. Don't get me started on the timeline lol. But Thomas works on a railway on Sodor, that's how it has to be...right? I guess I'm sort of at a crossroads of, ok do I want this to be close to the source material, and thus easily digestible to newcombers? Or do I want to make it more and more my thing and distanced from the source material? I doubt there's many new people coming since the series ended. And even then, there's a lot more humanization artists around now than when I started, so it's not like I'm filling a niche anymore. Just to be clear it's fine and also good that there's more humanization artists, variety is good, I just don't feel as "needed" anymore (which is 100% in my head and not an actual role that belongs to me or something). I started this blog when I was 17, so my interests and what I relate to have changed obviously. The character designs certainly have. It's never followed a super rigid story plan, but the core of it has always been the central cast doing things on Sodor. I however have always had a scene/project/animatic/whatEver in mind for when this 'series' would '''officially''' ''''end''''. But then what comes after that? I've always tried to run this blog like they are Real People that You interact with. But in real life there is no ending to the story, there's always more stuff to come. You get married, and it's wonderful, and then life goes on. The credits never roll. So maybe that's what I'm having trouble coping with...the progression of time. Ah, my old nemesis. I've always had trouble with letting go of things. There's nothing to say that I couldn't still draw stuff after the series "ends". I guess any story after Thomas leaves could be like... a sequel series or a spin off or something. Spin-off of a spin-off. Famous 8 All Grown Up. Famous 8 Qurter Life Crisis. Who knows. I certainly don't.

I've also been really into an original project unrelated to this but those don't get as much attention and while I'd like to do something with it one day, I don't feel very confident in being able to make that happen right now. But you know... as far my as art not being super spectacular goes... I think my individual talent has always been is my ideas, like the writing side of things. And then brought to life with my art, which normally isn't anything to write home about but is good enough to convey the idea and be not-awful to look at, lifts both of them beyond what they were individually. Maybe that's what I should focus on. Maybe that's wishful thinking.

So....idk. Idk what I'm doing but I'm trying to be gentle on myself and just let myself continue to drift, to heal from this heavy loss, and then in the New Year I'll try and pick myself up. Then there will be no more big once-in-a-lifetime events coming up, no more just-moved-into-a-house-and-oh-no-there's-a-bunch-of-things-that-need-attention-NOW scenarios, and no more big holidays for awhile. I guess we'll see.

If you read all of this I am so sorry but also thank you for reading my ramblings. And thank you for being around, whether that's been for a few months or for several years, but especially if it's been several years

[twilightprince101]

Let's be careful before labeling Wally or Home as "The Villain" of Welcome Home

Or anyone for that matter imo

Listen, I can completely understand why people would go to that conclusion. "So Below" and the eerie vibe that Wally gives off in his obsession don't exactly give either a flattering light (I know there are also the art pieces on Clown's personal blog, but I'm not counting anything that hasn't been officially released yet)

But whenever someone labels a character who is acting weird as "the villain," it puts a bad taste in my mouth. At the end of the day, characters in fiction are real people with motivations, so labeling one as "evil" or "the villain" can sometimes erase that complexity. And after the most recent update, we know that Wally has A Lot of very, very complicated feelings about the situation.

Before I get into that though, I wanna point out something that Clown himself has said describes the brand of horror that "Welcome Home" gives off to themselves personally. Click here for the link to the post.

Before I get into that though, I wanna point out something that Clown himself has said describes the brand of horror that "Welcome Home" gives off to themselves personally. Click here for the link to the post.

"My home doesn't feel like home anymore."

That line sticks to me pretty hard. There's a pervasive feeling of unfamiliarity, unreality, that exists in the core of the story itself.

I think we see, firsthand, Wally experiencing this in the latest updates. In all of the hidden Bug/Answer secret videos, we see a familiar pattern. We get some sort of scene of two other characters talking, a scene in whatever universe they call home, until at the very end one of the characters addresses Wally (who was apparently there the whole time) and the video glitches out.

A key part that not a lot of people seem to realize though is that these videos are from Wally's perspective. See the above picture with Wally's hands. In every scene, Wally is present and was supposedly taking part in an activity (in the above one, helping Poppy with knitting), before the video started playing.

Whenever I saw these videos I had that same feeling that something felt. Different. The interactions felt like scenes you would see in the animated/cartoony aesthetic we'd see from the various art pieces, it doesn't feel like it's "on set/TV" to me. They're moreso just intimate glimpses into their lives. But they're shot in the real world, and that feels. Wrong.

This is very likely the same feeling that Wally's having in that moment. "My home doesn't FEEL like home." It's like he's disassociating, having a brief episode of that unreality feeling. Those bouts of strangeness don't go away until, like clockwork, someone says his name and the video ends, snapping him out of it.

Do other people in the neighborhood also feel the same way? Maybe, but we don't know. What we do know is that Wally, whether or not he tries to explain this to others, feels isolated by this sensation. "My neighbors are only neighborly until they know I'm different in a way they can see."

The only other person he likely shares this feeling with? I'd take a guess that it's Home. Nearly every time Home has been featured, Wally has been there, close. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the only physical puppets/props we’ve seen of the cast are Wally and Home.

According to this post by @eldritchravens, Home is the only other person who talks directly to Us, the viewers. That's probably why they're so close, because they're the only ones who can truly confide in each other about this.

"So does that mean Home is manipulating Wally?"

Again, I really don't think that's the case. I don't wanna call people villains quite yet. Besides, we see (or well, hear) Home and Barnaby have a conversation together, and from how Barnaby reacts it's fairly casual.

This shared feeling is likely why Wally is so obsessed with us, including the Restoration Employee. They seem to be sharing a similar sensation to Wally's bouts of unreality, in the fact that it seems they're the ONLY one who doesn't remember Welcome Home being a thing. They seem to be one of the few things that Wally (and maybe even Home) consider to be "Real." Hence their obsession with "seeing" us.

"Isn't this Wally or Home manipulating the Employee though?"

Maybe, I don't know. We don't really know much of what's going on right now, we're only getting glimpses. For all we know this could be a side-effect of Wally/Home trying to reach out. For the time being though, I want to keep my own expectations in check. I'm choosing not to label Wally, Home, The Restoration Team or anyone as a "villain" until something definitive comes up.

It is very, very likely that Wally is going to be doing something more dangerous later down the line (or maybe even is doing so now). But if he's doing anything, I get the feeling it's more out of desperation. He wants something to quell this feeling inside of him, this pervasive sense of unreality, and to connect with something he feels is "real." And, for better or for worse, that thing is us.

This whole thing isn't to bash on people for speculation or theorycrafting, I personally think speculation is very healthy! But it's still important to remember what the core of this story is going to be. We're only seeing the very start of the story right now, and we don't know what'll happen down the line. It's useful to keep that core idea at the center of our speculation so we can have reasonable expectations going forward.

As for me? This doesn't feel like a story with villains. I don't think he'll pull a Monika from DDLC and start gaining a kill count, but if something does happen to the rest of the cast, my money is that it'll happen completely by accident, and he'll regret it. Hard.

[kingofbodyrolls]

For this rainbow, I finally picked up my professional camera again. The last images stored there tells me that the last time I used it was the 1st of December 2023. Wild. But I picked it up thanks to this pretty rainbow, which was actually a double rainbow. So pretty. This image is made up of three into a panorama shot, and Lightroom was a bit funky with putting them together, so please don't mind the badly processed house in the middle; no, we're not looking at that 😂

For people who want a wall of text status update, it's under the cut.

How are you all doing? I'm hanging in there. Not active much, but I still haven't gotten myself into deleting my tumblr app. So I still see and get all your notifs, even if I don't reply right away! I'm still taking time off, trying to figure out what I want to do with the blog for the future... I have not written a fanfic in some time now, but I have two finished stories that are ready to be published, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure about a lot of things these days... I've had dark days, written a lot of sad and dark poems (that will go on my sub blog some time in the future), and I've begun to write an original story. It's really fun; about magic, witches and mages; about good and evil and all the gray in between. It will probably bore you, but it's fun to write, even though I don't think anyone would read it except for a few friends (even though this thing might be the longest thing I'll write, turning into either two or three books lol).

Serotonin boost I get happy when I get notifs with comments and/or reblogs of my stories; it really touches my heart. To be honest, this is why I left/taking time off. I've always felt that interaction was low, and my stupid brain will not let me stop comparing myself to others, so it slowly killed my drive for writing and posting. If no one interacts, what's the point of posting? If no one interacts, what's the point of writing? But I love writing, and it's one of my creative outlets, so I couldn't let that go completely, hence I started writing original stories instead; no ones gonna read them anyway, but I can still play with characters, world building and storytelling. Those are the things I loved about fanfics---and I still do, don't get me wrong. But I feel so discouraged being on here. But I'm happy to know that a few people still care.

The Downfall This also made it quite hard for me to read; because I felt so unmotivated... I haven't read much this month at all. I tried to read a fanfic this Monday, didn't finish it and haven't picked it up since. Honestly, I've just been watching documentaries because I'm in a (tumblr) slump. I feel drained though; I feel like I've given so much, and I love it. I love making people happy, leaving lovely reviews, and it's as much for myself as it is for making another person happy---but to be honest, it has drained me. I know I shouldn't ask for anything in return, but I feel imbalanced. Like I'm not being filled with much love, if that makes sense? I don't really feel appreciated, but don't get me wrong, I don't feel hated (yeah, I'm so good at being black and white), sorry---I know I sound very pessimistic. But you guess have always been so kind to me, and I love you a lot, and I have a few super lovely mutuals and friends that are lovely internet friends that I adore, so I wanted to be real with all of you. You can hate me for it if you want to. Go ahead.

I don't think I'm going to make a recommend list this month. I haven't really read anything, so it'll be really small. And I don't like the pressure of it anymore... which is why for a long time I've thought about not doing them anymore. Maybe some day I will again in the future. But I'd still love to make rec list on the member's birthdays! And I think this will help me, take some pressure off myself (that I've created myself), so I'll still read and rec, it will just be slower---whenever I feel like it, and not because I have to read to make a monthly rec list. This isn't my job, I'm not getting paid doing all of this, and the amount of time I've been spending on both reading and writing is more than 37+ hours a week, sooo. I have to slow down.

A part of me thinks that I flew too fast, too high and too close to the sun, lol. I'm still gonna be here, you can still send in asks for rec list or whatever you want, all is welcome (except hate, because then I'll simply just delete my blog, my mental health can't take that).

To post, or not to post? Should I post the two stories that I have? Both of them are for the series Friendcation.

And for the unfinished mermaid stories I still have left, I hope I'll finish them in the future; when, I don't know. Maybe one day I'll feel love for them again, to finish them. I have them all planned out, but like I mentioned before, with low interaction, I'm really not motivated to finish them, even though part of me really want to for the like five people that are so sweet and invested, and always comments and reblogs (you guys know who you are, and I love you so fucking much 🥰).

To all the stories I'll probably never write...

I still have some other unfinished but planned stories, and I'm gonna list them here, just for the hell of it. Don't know if people would have found them interesting anyway, but here goes:

Words on a Page (a Namjoon x reader, idol!au where reader is a fanfiction writer and interviewer for a magazine and has to interview BTS). Author's comment: probably never gonna write it. It has been done before, and it was just a very very silly dream I had.

Songs of The Heart (a Jimin x reader, musician!au where Jimin is a single father and reader moves into the house next to his, hear his lonely songs etc, they meet, talk, very angsty, sad and nostalgic and 'Who' coded). Author's comment: this idea came to me after listening to 'who' and then thinking about Jimin being my next door neighbor, yeah, that's it. Don't know if this will ever get written.

IT Support (a Jimin x reader, office!au where Jimin is your nerdy coworker, but a freak in the sheets, lol). Author's comment: this has honestly been on my list for years, but I never written anything for it, and I probably never will, even though I've made the banner and all.

I do have a few more, but I've already scraped those, and then there's the four mermaid stories to add to the list. I'm probably mostly excited about the mermaid stories, and those would be my priority if I ever get back into writing fanfiction again.

I swear, I'm almost finished... Okay, this whole thing has gotten incredibly long. Sorry. Before I end this post, I just want to say how happy and grateful I am to each and everyone of you. I've met some incredible nice people on here, some really caring ones. I'll never forget that. And I'll never forget each wonderful and lovely comment, some people have really helped me, motivated me when I felt low, and when I wanted to stop writing a few months back. Thank you. I kept going, and I wish I could keep going for you, making something special, for the special people I met here. I actually really wanted to do requests for you guys in hopes that it would motivate me into writing, but I just don't know. I still want to give so much back to the people who have hyped me up, so I'm going to tag a few of you lovely people--- if you have a request for a story, you're welcome to message me or send me an ask. I don't know if or when I'll write it, but in case I get a bit of motivation, I have some things I could write from, so if you want to, you can send me a request (just keep in mind the story will probably be a one-shot from 10-20k max or maybe shorter, lol, you never know with me). You don't have to send me a request, I simply want to give back to some lovely people. I wish I could hug you.

@letjungcoook7 @honeybloomyyyy @babystarcandyjk97 @minpdrecs @bobathi @allie-is-a-panda @back2bluesidex @gimeow @antisocial-mochi267

These are but just a few of the people that have supported me on there, either by commenting, reblogging, ask, messaging--you name it. I could list many others, and one day I might make a post celebrating all mt lovely mutuals, that means a lot to me. Thank you for interacting; you've (as long with others) helped me when times were tough. Thank you.

I had actually planned to open a "recommend a fic" section/box, but I'm not sure about that. I still have so many fics on my to read list, and right now I don't want to pile more onto it. Might do it in the future, when I've finally made it through my own lists.

Okay, I have to end this post for real now.

I'm still on tumblr, I still have my app. I deleted my discord app on my phone, but I'm still part of the servers I was before, I'm just not active. It's better for me that way right now, because it all got to be too much. I was just reminded of how much of a failure I feel like (no, we're not getting into that not, store it away). But you can always contact me here. I'm lurking sometimes. I look forward to reading in a more leisurely pace and hopefully not feeling pressured to make the rec lists as I did before (even though just for the completionist in me I want to finish them for just this year, lol).

Okay. If you read this far---thank you, I adore you, I love you, you're nice, keep going 💜

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

You're one of my favorite fallout blogs right now. Are there any more Cooper headcanons you have rattling around?

Firstly, you deeply flatter me. 🩷 I really enjoy writing stuff for you guys. To answer your question: yes, I have about a million more Cooper headcanons, and I'm more than happy to share, so here's a little random grab-bag. Since you didn't specify NSFW headcanons, I'll put some SFW ones here and do the NSFWs in a follow-up.

I'm currently traveling to visit family and have a hard time writing or editing in the car, but I'm hoping to have at least one longer smut submission done some time tonight or tomorrow. Thank you all for reading!

General SFW Cooper Howard Headcanons

Prewar! Cooper Howard

- I feel like he and Barb met and married a little older than would've been traditional at the time, maybe late 30's? Their relationship has a maturity to it that I think really only comes from meeting when you're both more established and confident in yourselves. I feel like it may have taken them a while to have Janey, as well. I imagine they probably wanted more kids but ultimately struggled to have them (that man absolutely ADORES being a dad, so in my mind he'd want like four or five kids). People seem to generally see Coop as late 40's-50ish, and Janey is like 7, right? 43(ish), with Barb maybe around 40, is pretty old for a first child.

- This man also 100% had pretty boy tendencies (and I bet they're still in there somewhere, just buried real deep). I don't see him as necessarily fussy about it, but after so many years of appearance being a big part of how he makes his living, I imagine you'd catch him in the mirror about any time one appeared, "just to check real quick". Very particular about his clothes fitting right. Meticulous dental hygiene. Always smells amazing.

- He's a big "acts of service" person; his favorite way to show love, whether it be to his family and friends, Janey, or you, is to learn what your interests and hobbies are and to engage with them, to remember things about you and what you like. And, like most people who are big on acts of service, he prefers to be loved that way, in turn. As such, he's a big sucker for inside jokes.

The Ghoul

- His sassy little duster is 110% used to make him look big and scary. Walton Goggins is only 5'10, and it's not like he's beefy in build. He's obviously not unmuscular, by any means, but he's lean. I'd call him "trailer park wiry". You'd definitely be surprised at how much smaller he looks the first time you see him without the coat; he still cuts an imposing figure after cultivating it for so long, but he looks so much more svelte without it. The boots and hat also probably make him seem bigger.

- The man still remembers how to dance, like, really well. Line dancing, ballroom, even a little swing...he's quite eclectic. You will 100% have to nag about this a little if you want to actually see it in action, because he thinks you just wanna make fun of him for it, but if you can convince him you really do just wanna share this with him, he'll teach you. Finds he still really enjoys it if you can convince him to try.

- Doesn't have much by way of a sense of taste anymore, like most old men, and, like most old men, he has a penchant for sweets of any kind (that also isn't totally partially a remnant of how much junk he used to eat with Janey). Sweet and spicy he can still taste.

[velvet-vox]

My Top 10 Favourite Male Villains of all time.

"How arrogant of you to think that any of us are anything but irrelevant". -John Greer, Person of Interest (2011-2016).

There comes a moment in a blog's life where some things are just long overdue, and while the argument could be made that this happened way too early, I'd say that as long as this helps me to find my groove, I am free to experiment as much as I want.

So..... Villains.

Gotta love them. As long as I do not meet them in real life. This post is in particular about male villains since I have one dedicated to their female counterparts in the pipeline so expect that to come soon enough and for this part to be rewritten. By the way, "villain" is a generalisation, I can totally put antivillains, antagonists or more general antiheroes in this list; your definition of "Bad Guy" can vary greatly and so can mine, someone like Walter White from Breaking Bad could have made it in here. My taste is very unusual, so prepare yourself for some unexpected picks.

Also, since these are meant to be some big celebratory posts, for the occasion I'll reveal my Italian heritage and translate every line of dialogue in Italian and publish it separately with a link, so that English readers who are learning Italian can exercise.

Here's also a follow up to this post, the first part of my top 30 favourite female antagonists of all time. Check it out, if you are curious to see more.

The bad girls

But first, some honourable mentions:

Oropo (Wakfu): Once you see the number 2 spot for both this list and the female villains list you might notice that I tend to gravitate towards characters with wasted potential more often than not, but while we're just talking about this guy, I cannot stress enough the amount of unceremonious mishandling that lies within his concepts and execution. Really needed two seasons of 25 episodes each to explore it to their maximum.

Tai Lung (Kung Fu Panda): I love him, but not as much as others, it's a matter of personal preference. He's an amazing antagonist, so even if he is just an honourable mention, I wouldn't call him a lesser villain by any stretch of the imagination; I once felt like he was too sympathetic for his movie's sake, but looking back at it again, he's actually moderately evil for a lot of reasons, even if Shifu is the main one.

Bill Chyper (Gravity Falls): It's been way too long since I watched Gravity Falls, I really can't give you an accurate opinion on this guy anymore.

Flintheart Glomgold (DuckTales 2017): That season 2 episode. If you know what I'm talking about, you KNOW. Also the music for that whole sequence was a banger, really driving home the deranged nature of that twist reveal.

Big Jack Horner (Puss in Boots The Last Wish): I feel like when people praise Jack for being a breath of fresh air in a stale environment, they often forget just how good of a villain he was in his own right without the larger industry wide void of truly devious antagonists that act out of pure malice.

The Wolf (Puss in Boots The Last Wish): Two villain entries from one movie? Of course it was gonna be The Last Wish, what else could it be? Honestly I don't even wanna talk about this guy, you need to experience the movie for yourself.

Rob (The Amazing World of Gumball): Everything I have to say about this guy gets talked about much better by the number 6 Spot on this list, but as it stands Rob was my first villain OTP and the guy who opened the box of Pandora for me on what an antagonist could and should be, since then my perception of villainy only widened and now I enjoy their role in a story in much different way.

And now, with that out of the way, let's finally start with the ranking of my personal favourite male villains of all time.

Major spoilers down below:

Number 10: Silco (Arcane)

This guy is the reason that brought me to specify who or what counted for this list as trying to simplify Silco into one specific group of characters is a challenge that can only end in a misunderstanding of what makes Silco such a complex and fascinating character with an amazing character arc, that ends with him not being redeemed, mind you, but allows the audience to grieve in such a way that would make a side character death jealous.

When writing an antagonistic character, Silco is my goal and high standard, and just for that he deserves all of my respect and endless praise.

Now, admittedly, Silco's arc takes a while to kick in, but it works out to his advantage by the end of it since you don't realise just how much you've grown to care for him until he's dead and you're left with the surprise.

10 out 10, the nation of Zaun would have been much better (worse) with him than with Vander.

Number 9: The Riddler (DC)

The Riddler is literally my ride or die villain, when I'm in the mood for him, he's literally my favourite antagonist ever; when I am not in the mood for him, I completely forget about his existence.

When compared to many other entries on this list, Riddler is definitely more on the pop culture side of antagonism, and when you've been around for almost a century, you tend to have many different versions of the same character written by different writers, so I wanted to highlight here my favourite versions of him:

Arkham Games: He's hilarious. He's not my ideal Riddler, but whenever he comes on screen, his whiny rat's ass voice stimulates my pheromones.

Batman The Animated Series: I've heard somewhere that this version of him is disappointing, and to that I'll say... yeah, but only when he wasn't on screen, because otherwise, he kind of slayed.

Matt Reeves The Batman: This is the version that rekindled my love for him after so long. Out of every interpretation of The Riddler throughout the years, this is the one version that treated Edward more as a character rather than an obstacle for Batman to overcome, and for that I'll be eternally grateful.

LEGO Batman The Videogame: My very first introduction to The Riddler and the Batman universe as a whole, this version has a permanent place in my heart , I love how much information and emotion you can get out of him by just looking at his mannerisms and quirks alone; unironically, being silent helps him reach that quote on quote idealised version of Riddler that I was talking about earlier.

Number 8: The Snatcher (A Hat In Time)

There are many things that can carry on a villain in a story, their evolution, stage presence, complexity, thematic contrast to their counterpart, and so on and so forth. While an antagonist can check off many of these boxes simultaneously (like the one pictured), there's one box that is almost impossible to truly nail perfectly: comedy.

You see, comedy is subjective, and when your main antagonist is also the funniest part of a given story, it becomes hard to also match a sense of gravity and menace that allows them to also be an imposing threat, even harder is to give said antagonist depth and a tragic backstory.

But somehow, out of nowhere, The Snatcher from A Hat In Time manages to simultaneously be the funniest character in his section of the game, carrie said energy throughout the whole experience even down to the DLC, simultaneously strikes the balance between being scary, wholesome, sympathetic and tragic, exude an insane amount of charisma, all while having a deeply disturbing backstory that touches on some heavy themes and re contextualises his actions into something more complicated and out of a broken man, everything I just said + he's the biggest bastard in his videogame and never repents nor does he have his actions called out.

Snatcher really has all the right cards that make a stationary character work and uses them to his maximum potential, and it works because his character arc throughout the game is more about becoming affectionate to Hat Kid than it is about redeeming himself.

Lastly, his voice actor, Luke Sizemore, aka Yungtown, really sells the performance of this devious soul eating worm and burns his catchphrases into your brain for the rest of eternity, much like his boss theme,

Your Contract Has Expired

A song that switches around being scary, epic, energetic and desperate in a short, yet perfectly paced amount of time. You need to listen to it regardless of if you've played the game or not.

Fool.

Number 7: Judge Claude Frollo (Hunchback of Notre Dame)

You can never say no to a classic.

There's nothing that I could say that hasn't already been said by thousands of videos on YouTube, but I'll try anyway: you see, Frollo is the reason why we need a new term to identify certain villains that aren't "sympathetic" but still make you feel some sort of human emotion and a form of "I wish someone could give you the care you need to fix your life", I guess the term empathetic exists, but when do you really see it used?

Now, don't get me wrong, Frollo is absolutely not sympathetic in the slightest, he wants to r##e a Romani woman that's way younger than him, but you can still feel that he's very troubled about it in the Hellfire scene and has definitely a lot of unidentified issues and internalised bigotry that could be worked through, even if it's too late to work through them right now.

In general, I feel like people forget that the main reason why past Disney villains worked had to do more with their human traits juxtaposed to their malice rather than just their plain wickedness, otherwise the Horned King from the Black Cauldron would be top of the Disney villains league and that couldn't be further from the truth.

We should really strive towards writing more villains like Frollo, less omnipotent beings that end up falling flat because they don't have much thematic relevance aside from being a threat (Bill Chyper works because he represents Ego and he's used sparingly) and more average vicious individuals who use their power and influence to get what they want.

All in all, if you've seen The Hunchback of Notre Dame, then you know why this guy is here, but just to cite a couple of repeated points, the Hellfire scene is perfect. It's immaculate. It's unreproducible; there will never be another scene like this coming out of the House of Mouse or animation ever again, the excessive amount of stars and elements that came together to create this gothic classic is so vast that it's literally a miracle.

Frollo is truly the personification of the dark, twisted side of humanity peaking through the door and into your mind, from which he shall never escape as his performance still remains perfect to this very day.

Number 6: The Spot (Spider-man across the Spiderverse)

"You've hit me with a bagel!" It's still the greatest villain origin story of all time. There's truly something maniacal about this reveal, like the entire universe was shattered and reality was shocked at the mere realization that while Miles was having his coming of age moment back in the first film, this guy was having his normal life completely and utterly shattered by a combination of both our heroes stepping up to do the right thing and our doofus lack of foresight and self reflection; all of this stuff is hilarious and completely made up for the film but good god they did such an amazing job tying all the elements together in an unexpected way that makes sense and parallels the journey that our protagonist faced in the first movie.

Like with Rob from The Amazing World of Gumball, and a little bit like number 2 on this list, I just really enjoy the concept of turning background characters who had no relevance whatsoever into the big bad of the story who's been there all along and the heroes (and the audience) just couldn't notice.

With The Spot in particular, there's that sense of satisfaction of turning the wasted potential of a villain who has been underestimated for literal decades and treated as a "villain of the week" (God do I love the meta narrative of this movie) into an actual competent, well written antagonist that is aware of his reputation and strives towards bettering himself and his powers.

He's also the funniest character of his movie too and the voice acting of Jason Schwartzman only accentuates his mannerisms and pettyness.

He also has the coolest usage of portals I have ever seen and his whole "There's a hole inside all of us" metaphor is simultaneously hilarious and very deep personal information that can only be understood if you put yourself into his shoes.

I can't wait for Beyond the Spiderverse to come out and see how his arc resolves, more importantly, I wonder if he's going to rank higher in the future.

Number 5: Lord Shen (Kung Fu Panda)

"Happiness must be taken. And I'll take mine"

.....

What a character.

What a movie.

You cause so much pain and suffering, because you don't understand the people around you, and then those people banish you, and you can't understand why, so you start to believe that they hated you.

They never loved you, so you keep causing pain and suffering but it's not that easy anymore; the guilt starts to resurface, all those bodies keep piling up, but you can't stop because then it would have all been for nothing; so you keep chasing those dreams of grandeur because that's all you have left; the emptiness in your heart can no longer be filled by love, so you try to fill it with something else.

You try to fill it with power. You try to fill it with glory. You try to take everything else for yourself so that you can fill that cup, but it doesn't work, because that cup has no bottom.

And so you're left... with yourself.

And the damage you've done. But now it's different; you've failed. You are left with nothing. Nothing.

And so you outrage, for the last time... And then it all ends. Forever. And you've finally come to accept this, after all....... Who could ever love you?

Number 4: Spamton G Spamton (Deltarune)

You know, in retrospect, it's kind of insane what Toby Fox managed to achieve when creating Spamton.

Not only because Spamton feels like the most insane combination of ideas ever conceived, but also because Toby Fox created such a complex character with such a complicated language and personality and then not only shafted it all aside for the players to go out of their way to interact, but also made all of this in what are officially 2 or 3 cutscenes at most (4 if you consider his shop encounter as one) and only one of them being truly mandatory.

You spend so little time with Spamton, and most of that time is spent fighting him, and yet by the end of it you've become enlightened by the knowledge of him, that after a while... you forget how scary it all was.

All the memes comparing Spamton with Turbo are 100% correct and justified, Spamton truly is Turbo but better; you go through an insane rollercoaster of emotions with this character that you are left absolutely dumbfounded when it all comes to a stop and you go back to play the rest of chapter 2 normally.

His insane mannerisms and mood swings are pretty funny at first, but once you peel back the layers a bit they reveal a pretty realistic and sad portrayal of mental illness, mania and hysteria coupled with an unhealthy amount of social distancing, loneliness, and abandonment issues, that reinforce into your brain the idea of someone lacking proper healthcare and needing to be locked away from society for their (society) own good, simulating the vicious cycle that Spamton lives by: nobody wants to help him but he's still expected to act like a regular individual despite the amount of hardships he's facing and the lack of a support system keeping him from falling back into his bad habits.

I'll admit, I've considered putting Spamton in place of the Number 3 spot on this list; but then I've realised that on an objective level, the next entry totally deserves to be ranked above Spamton; plus, with at least 5 more chapters of Deltarune on our way, whose to say that one of the next gremlins won't be able to dethrone even the number 1 spot?

Drumroll for our top 3:

Nox, the Watchmaker (Wakfu)

There will never be another experience in my life as cathartic as watching the first season of Wakfu for the first time ever again.

On a later rewatch, the initial problems that you've noticed throughout the first half of the season and a little bit in the second half become too apparent to ignore, but the first time everything that goes from the ball tournament to the finale is one of the best paced arcs of television, and everything that happens when the team reaches the Sadida kingdom is just peak Wakfu.

And the king, the culprit, the crown jewel of properly paced stories and arcs is no other than the sad clockwork dilf himself: Noximilliem Coxen the Watchmaker.

Arguably, the greatest sympathetic villain of all time. There has never been another case of a character who has committed such vile, unspeakable crimes, and yet still managed to make me root for them while simultaneously not putting down the heroes.

And let's not be mistaken here, Nox is pretty evil:

Aside from the generic murder, Nox also defiled and stitched together the corpses of multiple victims and turned them into his obedient puppets in order to commit even more murder and genocide in order to achieve his goals.

Also, this is one of the funniest crimes Nox has committed: he abused his dog. It's really not that hilarious nor is it that important in the context of the show, but if you look back at it from an outside perspective then it's really like: Oh yeah. That happened too. Lol.

One of the best parts of his entire arc is his defeat. The "20 minutes" scene deserves a "One Villainous Scene" coverage video to forever immortalise it amongst the greatest. Everything from the music, the subversiveness, the cinematography, the voice acting and just the general art direction of it is worthy of an Eminem award at the Oscars, there's genuinely nothing wrong with this scene, it's truly immaculate.

Words alone cannot do justice to the treacherous, gut wrenching emotional rollercoaster that is experiencing his story for the first time. An hour long video essay would only serve to cover the basics and fundamentals, while for the real deal you need to watch the first season of Wakfu for yourself.

Number 2:

Bradford Buzzard (DuckTales 2017)

And now it's the perfect time to pull out my final wild card, the hole of the sink of my autism, the masterpiece of wasted potential that is Bradford Buzzard from the DuckTales remake of 2017.

When you'll also see the number 2 spot on my villainesses list, you'll come to realise that this spot is more of the "I really wish I could put this at number one but I can't because objectively he doesn't deserve it and the majority of things I love about him in canon were probably an afterthought and in fanon were never plausible to begin with."

And that's how I feel about Bradford Buzzard, an antagonist I spent more time thinking about than probably anybody else on the Earth.

The show runners were so genius for this: we are going to create an original character that will probably struggle to maintain a foot print on the franchise due to the way the Duck verse works, we'll give him an insanely cool backstory and motivation, all coupled with interesting character traits and ideology, we'll make him the ultimate foil to Scrooge McDuck that has been working with him for literal decades, we'll make him the one who has got the closest to isolating Scrooge and destroying his family, and THEN we'll turn him into a generic anime villain that shoots lasers and fumbles his own plan and loses because of insane plot armour and contrivance. Good job writers.

Anyway, I should probably make the case for why this guy ranks so highly in my mind to the point of almost taking the podium for my most liked villain of all time, especially when compared to the stiff competition that we just went through.

Now, part of it is just because this is a personal top 10 and so I can put whoever I want in whatever order I want. But also, with Bradford in particular, there's a personal aspect of relatability, various interests, and passions all coming together to make him stand out in my brain.

The thing is, I've had a pretty strong connection to Disney's Duck's comic books my entire life, even if my love for them came dwindling over time, so when I finally started watching the Reboot and it was amazing, all of that buried passion and love finally re emerged back to the surface, turning me into an annoying super fan. But while season 1 and 2 were great, season 3 actually gave me something to latch on for the rest of time even after the show had ended: the character of Bradford Buzzard.

You see, DuckTales, both in the shows and comics, always had a plethora of villains; from the crazy, megalomaniacal millionaires, to witches, demons, and other mythological creatures, to power hungry aliens, to straight up super-villains. But while all of that is true, there has never been another villain, aside from Magica, Glomgold and Rockerduck at traits, that was built specifically as the anti Scrooge McDuck, and even further, there has never been another antagonist who challenged the very core ideas and concepts of the entire franchise.

Bradford is like the Frank Grimes of DuckTales: just a regular, average, real world guy who's fed up with the nonsensical constant state at which their fictional universe operates and seeks to correct it in the most logical way possible. And while Frank was ultimately a victim of a world in which he couldn't conform, Bradford's outrageous and extreme plans and methods put him on everybody's hit list until he was left all alone, but not before indirectly causing every major disaster throughout the reboot's runtime.

A cold, calculating, machiavellian mastermind whose impact and presence secretly permeates the show, right till the very end.

Shame he wasn't written better.

And now, for the one and only,

Number 1:

Qilby (Wakfu)

Qilby is the biggest example of an anomaly that you could ever observe in a work of fiction. The first time experiencing a story is the most important and impactful moment of that story, as every future rewatch won't be as good as the first. In particular, this is an important aspect of twist villains, as they can only surprise you the first time, since at future rewatches the twist becomes predictable.

Furthermore, if the twist ends up ruining the character that was established up to this point, or it doesn't make any sense, then the story is kind of ruined and it only gets worse on future rewatches, since now you know that everything that you are seeing right now is ultimately worthless and doesn't provide any value.

So why do we love twist villains and keep churning them out? Well, you see, it's a matter of execution. A bad guy introduced in an unconventional manner is much more memorable than one introduced in a straightforward way; the twist can also serve to showcase different aspects of the character before becoming an obvious obstacle, be it quirks, interests, personality in casual settings, or cunning.

Let's not beat around the bush.

If Nox is the single greatest sympathetic villain of all time, then Qilby is by far the greatest twist villain of all time, and the crazy thing is, that he surprises you two times in a row, at first by revealing himself as more evil than you could ever imagine, and then, by outing himself as more complex than you could have ever anticipated.

Let me paint you the picture: you just finished the first season of Wakfu, and you are still pretty fresh of the hype surrounding Nox, so you think to yourself "Oh, now every future antagonist is ruined because nothing could ever top the emotional gut punch that I just went through. Whatever, I'm going to stick around just to see if the story gets worse" and you start the second season.

So far, everything is normal, even better of the first season in terms of engagement value, but you can't help but feel the lack of a Nox like figure inside of the story, but at this point, you just accept it.

Then the final six episodes roll around and OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING, HAS THE WHOLE SHOW JUST GONE INSANE?

Somehow, in some mystical, french, magical way, the season 2 finale is arguably even better than the ending of season 1 despite the fight having less buildup and introducing a lot of brand new characters and an entirely irrelevant faction into his conflict.

The entirety of the scene in Emrumb is some of the best writing I have ever experienced in any work of fiction, and the music accompanying it only accentuates the repressed dopamine being released after various episodes of filler, all of them important for this moment to be as impactful as it is.

Qilby is also just a great, tragic character, that is simultaneously an unforgivable bastard that tried to kill his family and doomed his entire race for a family trip, and a sad, nihilistic man still trying to reconcile his love for his family and his need for knowledge and discovery; his curse never truly allows him to move on or relate to others but his ego and need for his forgetful brothers attention just pushes him even further into resentment, ending up damaging himself and those around him, until he's finally isolated again by the vary people he harmed and showed his love towards.

He's as good as the evil secret sibling trope can get and I never get tired of watching him on screen. His reveal scene to Adamai still gives me the chills to this very day and demonstrated me just how good the surprise villain concept can get when it's executed correctly.

Just an all around great show.

[barrenclan]

I was about to say ‘maybe Malmo would suit Barrenclan’ but uh Rainhaze isn’t looking too hot and youch

ANYWAYS I think the song Malmo by Moon might suit Barrenclan as I mentioned before, specifically the popular part (it’s always the popular part)

Three of us sleep next to three others

(Not sure who it’d match)

It's hot and we rot in this oven

(referring to Barrenclan’s environment)

Now there's something about the language

(followed by next part, but maybe Rainhaze about the welcoming of death or injury in Defiance)

Something about these people

(Pinepaw with the new scar or maybe Corm or maybe Rain. I think they could all decently match??)

That look an awful lot like me

(Same as before, Pinepaw with the new scar or maybe Corm or maybe Rain. maybe even talking about Slug right now too)

I'm surprisingly accepting of this discomfort

(Why I said Rain is at this point (right before death but close enough) is because he didn’t seem to mind it anymore)

But I'm not trying to be much of a person right now

(don’t know)

I'm just trying to get some sleep

(Pine with the nightmares and now grief. also with the shock.)

Not sure if these actually match but they seem close enough and I’m very tired anyways OH MY RAIN HOLY BDDBXBBBDB

Wow, Paul Dano is in this band? That's cool. I like your analysis of the lyrics!

Why it's an absolute classic! In terms of characters I think it fits Deepdark a bit better than Rainhaze, though.

Do I even need the lyrics for I Can't Decide?

ANOTHER classic! I like this one sort of swapping off between Slugpelt and Rainhaze, where he's trying to get her to come back to him in their youth, but now it's flipped the other way.

Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down Won't you get up off, get up off the roof? You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you

The self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken Remember the pact of our youth Where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping Since there is no me without you

This one's been suggested a couple times, but I still really like it with Slugpelt, so here it is again.

I don't this it has! Ah, I recognize it from IncuriousCat, of course. They're very popular on this blog it seems. Rainhaze is a good character for song about making bad deals.

I'ma make a deal with the bad wolf So the bad wolf don't bite no more

My enemy is a friend of mine in a friendly place to be seen, hey You know I'll run away for a couple years just to prove I've never been free

Has Ride the Cyclone has a re-emergence? I feel like I've seen it a lot lately. It's nice to have a song with old BarrenClan anyways, before all the tragedy and drama.

What the world needs Is people like me To keep it all spinning around I'm the mover, I'm the shaker, I'm the headline-maker

He put it into words, and it's plain to see We need a little less of them A little more of me!

Yeah, I think you could chuck this in a Rainhazeward direction!

All this time, I've felt like my time to go would arrive That it can't last forever; I've been decaying Moldy scaffolding, ritual strangling No matter what I try, I seem to stay alive

My body should be cold The eyes of maggots gazing through to my soul I left so long ago Behind me are the tears I couldn't control

HOORAY! I'm a big Pink Floyd fan. It'd be so cool to see a "Trial" scene with him as Pink and all the other characters as the other roles.

Day after day, the love turns gray Like the skin of a dying man And night after night, we pretend it's all right But I have grown older, and you have grown colder And nothing is very much fun any more

Oooh, Bauhaus! Also a big fan of them. That's a good alternate voice claim for Deepdark, too.

Thank you, it is! I'm always taking more song asks, of which I have got quite a few. I'm glad you like the comic!

May you die wide awake With a look of great surprise May your eyes be taken just Before you can weep As you see what you stole stolen from you <- yuuuup rainhaze

Aww, that makes me sad. But it does fit well with them.

I dreamt I found you hanging I didn't know what it meant Your eyes would follow me through Everywhere I went

The window on the fifth floor Shattered as you wept What am I witnessing? What stories have you kept?

Damn ran outta links, I thought I got it this time

[listleven]

Using LOA with love

(and pateince+persistence)

FIRST BLOG!

Hi LOA Tumblr! I am frankly new to this community but have seen enough to know over consuming is not what I should be doing. Im here to show my journey in manifesting my ideal reality, using the list method, SAT's, and whatever else I can say I might use meditations but I don't know yet(I have a invasive family, I dont want them to catch me doing that 😭) I will post what subs I will use. Most of all I know I have it now soooo. Ive seen enough of post's yelling at me bc Im paying attention to the 3d or telling me once again about LOA. Im still in a partial learning faze so I might use this blog to ask questions, but mostly Im going to start applying and this blog is for everyone who is as well. Basically for reminding everyone we are in our desired realities/have our desires! I've had loads of success with LOA so it is real and very much inevitable. Anyway here are some stuff in my list of everything in my ideal life (which is from now on my actual life) I will be posting the results but technically I already have it so yeah.

-I never study for anything but when I get a test or question on it I answer correctly without fail

-I always get straight As

-I only affirm once to manifest instantly

-I am the void every time I count down from 5

-My 3c hair looks exactly like the Pinterest curly hair, even though I don't put any effort into it, I literally just wash my hair and leave it alone, its so easy to do.

-Every godsend beautiful fanfic I've read in AO3 that's been left unfinished now has an ending and its so good 😩

-I can speak, read, write any language I want perfectly

-I shift instantly with just one affirmation

-Im really good at dancing and singing

-I don't have to use the toilet anymore (its so annoying ill drink one glass of water and boom)

-My favorite show isn't poorly written and is actually really good (guess which one, It really has so much potential and its actually my biggest object of love I have to save it )

Besides my hair being effortlessly good Im not touching my physical appearance bc Ive always been very pretty and skinny but that doesn't mean its "harder" to manifest and if you want to go for it its your reality you deserve to feel good about yourself. Up till now my life has been messed up by older men, my mom, school, and religion but no more of that! Now I have everything in my list and I'm living my most ideal life! Feel free to send asks and DM me to vent or whatever. IK a lot of people don't like that but I personally find it easier to talk to online strangers and dont mind at all.

Im also very curios about lucid dreaming I might update on that too, idk ksksk, Anyway,

~ With Love, you can call me, Jyspire

[kimmiessimmies]

Personal post

This will probably be the most non-Sims related post I've put on this blog ever. I'll put most of it under a cut, so you can choose whether or not to read it. The thing is, I could use some advice. And asking strangers from all over the world advice on something important might be weird, but you are also my community, so I value your opinions. Don't worry, this isn't a "Kim being depressed" kinda post. 😉 It's a work thing.

Upfront: This post is about me being unhappy in my current well-paid job and my search for something that makes me happy. It might come across sounding a bit entitled, since I know there are many people who would be happy to have any job, just so they can pay their bills. I'm sorry if this post triggers that, and I know I'm privileged to even be in this situation. ❤️

TL/DR: Do I stay in a well-paid, secure job that doesn't bring happiness and actually negatively affects my mental health because of it? Or: Do I take the plunge into the unknown and give up the securities I have now for something that could potentially (but not guaranteed) not only make me happy but bring me opportunities as well?

Okay, here's the deal. Currently, I work in education. I've been teaching for 19 years, and for the last 3 years, I've held the position that best translates to special needs coordinator at the school where I've been all of my working life. In short, my job entails making sure the teachers have the tools they need to help all kids in their classes with special educational needs, to make sure each child ends up in the right form of education fitting their needs and dealing a lot with difficult or even alarming home situations. My job can be rewarding at times, and challenging at others. Aside from this, I've been part of the management team at my school for almost 8 years. I work at a big school. It wasn't big when I started there, but it's big now. I have a degree in Early Childhood Education, and that's also the age group I've always dealt with. It's the age group I've always taught, and it's the age group currently under my supervision in the position I'm now.

This past year, I've struggled with my mental health, as I've mentioned before, and have not been at work fully for a while. My therapist and I established that while work is "okay", it's also not bringing me joy anymore while my job was once the happiest and most passionate thing I did. Right now, it's blah. This position is not one that really suits me, yet I don't want to go back to teaching either. I've been there, done that. Add to that the fact that, come September, my boss requires me to change my position slightly. I'd be doing the same thing I do now, but for an older age group. This has given me a lot of stomach aches, because the thing that still drives me to do my job now is the fact that I'm doing it geared towards the youngest kids in school.

All in all, the job is not bringing me happiness in the slightest anymore. Having said that, I know a lot of people do jobs that don't make them happy, but it pays the bills, so let's suck it up and just do it. Which is fine, I can do that too, except my mental health suffers...

However, there are a few good things about this job too:

The pay is really good

I have lovely colleagues

I have a lot of credits here because I've been here for so long. They know my worth

I have a very understanding boss who's been nothing short of wonderful during my depression

(If you're still with me, thank you for reading this essay all the way, it's appreciated 💗)

My therapist asked me, "If money weren't a factor, what would you be doing?" My answer was "write." More specifically, I just want to stay home all day and work on ATOH, but no one is going to pay me for that. 😄 So, write, or do a job in which writing plays a role. So, she advised me to start looking for jobs that fit that description. It was a rather depressing search. Most jobs that came close to what I'd like to do require degrees or diplomas I don't have.

And then I suddenly stumbled upon something: Assistent Project Manager at a small, but well established company that creates educational projects (usually based on children's books), books and materials geared towards early childhood education in particular, and currently expanding to do the same for education to older kids as well.

I felt like I had found the holy grail. This is writing, this is editing, this is being creative, this is working with authors, but it's also closely related to early childhood education, the thing I know so well. Despite still being semi depressed, I felt like I needed to at least give this a shot. So, I wrote a letter, enclosed my resume, and waited. I didn't have to wait long, because a few days later I got an invite for an interview.

I went for the interview and was welcomed at a small and very homely office space (with an office cat!). We had a good talk and I left happy. They invited me to do a "trial day" with them, which is what I'll be doing today. They've had a lot of applicants for this position, but from the contact we've had since, it seems like I stand a good chance.

Sounds like a no-brainer? Perhaps, unless you have my brain... Because there are doubts:

Pay. This job pays quite a bit less than my current one. I'm a single parent and therefore sole breadwinner in my household. Currently, I make quite good money because I've been in this job for a long time and hold a relatively high position in the organisation. We can pay the bills, go on holidays, and even splurge occasionally (for example, the very pricey laptop I bought a few months ago). With this job, I would still make enough to pay the bills and go on holidays, but I will need to keep an eye on the money, and there won't be splurging for a while. I do know this sounds like a luxury problem to some.

Job security. In my current job, I'm under a fixed contract. Basically, unless I royally fuck up, I can't be fired. With this job I'd start on a year contract. After that year, they can either decide to give me another year or let me go. This won't just be if I mess up, but also if they decide I'm not the best person for the job after all, or if I don't fit in with their small, close-knit team. Worst case scenario; they let me go, and I'll have to go back to education and probably teach again.

These doubts are few, but strong. So, basically, like I already said above: do I stay in a well-paid, secure job that doesn't bring happiness and actually negatively affects my mental health because of it? Or: do I take the plunge into the unknown and give up the securities I have now for something that could potentially (but not guaranteed) not only make me happy but bring me opportunities as well (since it's publishing)?

I don't need anyone to actually answer those questions, but those are the wonderings on my mind I wanted to write down. Thanks for reading. ❤️

[bonesandthebees]

I'm not sure if any of this is as important to say as I feel like it is, but just in case, here it is.

Idk about you, but I'm really tired of having things taken from me because the cc's were abusive. I say this with an emphasis on the fact that supporting their victims and condemning their actions is far more important, that I'm not giving that man a single cent anymore. The most important thing the community can do is support the people he hurt. But It's still gonna hurt to purge my playlist because we, as a community, were lied to. And something I derived comfort from, especially in the wake of recent personal events, has been taken from me. Not by the community or by the people coming out; by him and his actions.

So seriously thank you for creating a space for people to talk about what's going on, because it's so easy to feel guilty right now for having feelings about this situation. Especially as a neurodivergent person whose main comfort is music, including music (and YouTube videos) he made.

I just feel like it's important to put this out there. The community as a whole needs to support the victims, but it's also okay to feel betrayed and it's okay to look at his songs in your playlist, dreading deleting them, for a while. No one will hate you for that. You're not a bad person for that. They're just songs or videos, but they're content that mattered to some of us. How dare he ruin that for all of us. How dare he.

Now that I've written a whole entire novel, please take care of yourself. I know I'm an internet stranger but I almost didn't write this because I think that it's important to emphasize that while I'm glad to see Tumblr users creating a space to talk for those of us who don't post and such, I also think it's way more important that your blog be a safe space for you yourself.

- a rambly anon 🪐

yeah, trust me, I'm fucking sick of this too. you're not selfish for feeling upset about deleting his songs from your playlist or not being able to watch vods of his for comfort anymore. you are not a bad person for having an attachment to someone who lied to his audience about who he was. you are human. you are allowed to be upset.

also, to veer slightly from your point but to bring something else up, while I know there are varying opinions on the community in this I personally don't think I want to let this make me stop hoping for people to be good. yes, it might seem like an endless pattern of people you like being revealed to be assholes. and for some people, they might want to leave the community to avoid that disappointment again. for me, I'm not going to put cc's up on a pedestal and expect them to be great people, but I'm not going to expect the worst from them either. keep my expectations realistic, but not pessimistic. content creators are flawed human beings like the rest of us, and sometimes they can be really shitty people, but sometimes they can be good people too. and I'm always going to hope for the latter.

and thank you for thinking of me. honestly the reason I've slowed down answering asks the past few days is precisely because I've been trying to take care of myself. I've gone up and down in terms of how I'm doing, and when I'm not feeling up to it I don't touch my inbox.

and despite everything that's happened this morning, I've had a good day. I got myself a cinnamon roll. I'm drinking green tea and it's sunny out. I saw flowers blooming on the side of the road and it made me smile. focusing on the little things, you know?

[rubye402]

Happy Holidays to everyone! Huge shout out to @portal-secret-santa as always for being EXTREMELY patient with me as I fail to get my prompts again this year (We figured out WHY and shouldn't have problems anymore, but WOW it took a bit to figure it out.)

Anyways. My person is @radioproto ! A fellow Wheatley enjoyer! Sorry if this is too non specific, I looked through the blog but still had NO idea what to do aside from just an X Reader. I mean, I did include Fact just so you technically had both in one present...? So hopefully a present for you and the rest of the fellow Wheat kissers is good enough!

Also, here's an AO3 version!

Mistletoe Mayhap (Wheatley X GN!Reader)

Note: Does NOT include "Y/N" or talking for Reader, with minimal responses or descriptions for the sake of immersion.

Word Count: 1,213

“Sorry- You want to hang up a MISSILE?” Wheatley gawked. Well, as much as a core could, anyways. Fact sighed, optics pinching shut with a small clink of metal.

“MistleTOE, Wheatley. The plant?” He opened the lower plate, barely looking up to meet the blue optic of the fellow core.

“Plant? Mate, we have an entire tree! Threw lights and small little trinkets all over its branches, PLUS that star thing on top. Spacey was EXTREMELY excited on that one. WOULD NOT stop talking about it so I'm FAIRLY certain-” Wheatley paused when he heard one of the claws the cores were using to decorate picking up something, and Fact held up a plant book of some kind, page turned to a small bushel of plants. Two words stood out in the center of the page, indicating what the said plants were. "Holly" and "Mistletoe."

“These.” Fact spoke up.

“Ah.” Wheatley squinted, trying to stretch his optic slightly to see. He read the description of Mistletoe. “OK… "Scientifically called" blah blah blah… "More commonly called Mistletoe… Poisonous plant when consumed," that's grim for… "A holiday staple?" Really? "Traditionally hung up from the ceiling, and when two people are under it…"” Wheatley suddenly wheeled back on his railing, immediately feeling like his processor was heating up, and his fans whirred to life to cool him down.

“I figured you would like an excuse.” Fact set the book back and closed it as he just rolled his eye.

“An excuse for wot?”

“Kissing a certain test subject. You know who.” Fact looked over at Wheatley as he said that. The fans kicked up another notch. “I figured that if you weren't going to say something, out of whatever fears you have, that it would give you an excuse if they didn't reciprocate. Play it off as just a traditional thing and cut your losses.”

“Wh- Hey! Do you SERIOUSLY think they're going to reject me?!” Wheatley defended. Then thought about it a moment longer, handles faltering as he clarified. “...Would they actually, you think?”

“I never said that.” Fact glanced over as he grabbed a plant, assumedly the one in question, and handed it over to Wheatley. Doing so in an underhanded motion just so he didn't hold it above him and Wheatley. “I'm entirely neutral to whether or not you two work out, I was merely offering a way for you to try to find out if they DO like you, that gives you an easy out if they DON'T.”

“...Huh.” Was all Wheatley could muster. He looked at the plant… Then slid off on his railing to find somewhere to hang it.

It wasn't a big party. It was only two other cores, the two testing robots, GLaDOS, the companion cube as a VIP, and both Fact and Wheatley. Oh, but mostly some turrets facing away from the door and "talking" amongst themselves, and someone thankfully had the foresight to mark out where they'd not only be put, but where their eyesight ended. That was for the last guest. 

A certain test subject that had to equally watch their steps around the turrets, much like P-Body and Atlas, who were currently dancing to the holiday tunes newly coded into the radio, curtsy of GLaDOS, much like the fruitcake on the table. It was just a fake decoration since nobody could eat, but it was decoration for any other human Christmas party too, so it was fine.

Wheatley watched as they entered from his corner of the room. It was one end of the table that had the fake fruitcake, that wasn't near any of the turrets, GLaDOS was on the other end, and most importantly, had the mistletoe hanging on the ceiling above him. He just flexed his handle up and down as he nervously waited for them. Mercifully, it didn't take long for them to walk over to talk to him.

“Oh-Oh! Ello! Happy holidays, luv.” Wheatley's smile was obvious through his voice as he spoke. They regarded him with a grin and nod. “So uh, this might take you for a shock, you'll wanna hear this. Me and Fact over there, yeah? Pink optic guy? Decorated this whole space! By ourselves. Managed to set everything up! Well uh, not the fruitcake though. SHE did that one, not sure why though THAT'S decoration...” The test subject still looked around the room and did some small claps for him. “Hm-? Oh! Thank you! Glad you seem to like it then. That 's all… Accurate and things. Being honest, cards on the table, Fact definitely manages to gather up how to decorate this place properly like humans very well. Nicely done, all in a good day's work on his part. And-And myself of course. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I DO want to give myself SOME credit, y'know?”

Then they glanced up, spotting the plant. Here it goes…

“What's uh- What's that you spot?” Wheatley looked up, feigning surprise as best he could. “Ooooohhh… Look at that! That's that mistletoe thing, yeah? Isn't that rather-”

“...Wheatley, that's Holly.” Fact piped up, rolling over to them.

“Wot?” Wheatley turned to him.

“Holly has the pointed leaves and red berries. MISTLETOE has smooth leaves and white berries.”

“...Ah. I- hm. I seem to have gotten my plants mixed up.” He glanced over at the tester muffling a laugh. “Not! Y'know ENTIRELY my fault. I read up on this FAIRLY well, and in everything I saw they seemed PRET-TY sure the thing was spiky and-and RED. Very BRIGHT shade of red, might I add.”

“Fact: That is a bold face lie-”

“And here's a fact: YOU handed that plant to me.” He growled out.

“I thought the ONE BOOK I showed you said it was Holly.”

“There were TWO ENTRIES in the middle! How was I supposed to know which one was what?!”

“It DESCRIBED what the plant looked like!”

“Well! That's…! Good to know!” Wheatley huffed. Fact just groaned and rolled away.

“...So uh. Egg on my face, I guess. Yeah… Yeah I hung it up. Caught red handed, so to speak. Red handled, for me and my case I guess?” Wheatley dryly laughed, fans whirring more obviously as he lowered his railing down to them. “I uh… I guess what I was trying to do is… Not exactly a secret anymore. I uh, wouldn't exactly BLAME you if-if you don't want to. Especially seeing as it's not ACTUALLY mistletoe- Ah!”

Wheatley paused as the bottom panel of his optic got a kiss pressed up against it.

Oh. Oh they were anyways.

Wheatley took care that he actually stayed quiet. Kisses meant no talking, right? So he just, gently shut his eye, pressing his optic into it, to reciprocate as best he could. 

When it ended, he felt the world around him almost melting away as he just focused on them.

“Oh WOW. So uh. So that's a kiss. Yeah, I can see why humans like it so much, feels nice, makes you all warm. In a good way. VERY very good way. Not complaining one bit about that. In fact uh. Could I have another?”

With their nod, Wheatley shut his eye, and felt a now familiar press into said optic.

[bottomless-pit-of-whining]

So here's a thing I wish I could put on my main blog, or post on my Facebook, but I think all it would do is make me feel even more miserable and alone.

So, I consider myself Jewish and always have. That's my cultural and ethnic heritage on my dad's side of the family, the only family I grew up with. Yes, patrilineal, but I'm still Jewish. My dad's grandparents fled pogroms in Ukraine and came to the US as deeply traumatized people seeking survival. You can see the repercussions of that recent history in the generations that followed them. For the past few years, I've been actively working to find my place in that history and that heritage, because it's a part of who I am and who I will always be, and I want to be able to be part of it in return. That's my personal context.

When a terrorist group murdered and kidnapped a bunch of civilians last October, I was horrified. When a far-right extremist government retaliated by slaughtering an unthinkable number of civilians, I was horrified. I contacted my own politicians, I donated what money I could spare, I wept at the nightmare that was playing out.

I continue to be horrified as the inhumanity continues, at the sheer scale of tragedy and terror. I wish I had any power to stop it, and I do the small things I can to try to help alleviate suffering.

But you know what else has horrified me? The way my so-called allies, the leftists, the social justice warriors, have responded. I'm lucky that I could grow up without hate being thrown my direction (perhaps because people where I grew up did not know I was Jewish despite my very Jewish last name), but I am aware of what Jew-hate looks like. And I have been seeing people I thought I could trust now wallowing in variations of centuries-old hatred without questioning it, believing outright lies that can be easily disproven with even the most superficial fact-checking, listening to people who wish to do harm, and reducing a complex situation to the stark black-and-white, good-versus-evil conflict from a bad young adult novel.

I'm still going to hope for peace. I'm still trying to contribute what I can to help victims of violence and war.

But, speaking frankly, I don't trust a lot of people anymore and I probably never will. There is no place for me in leftist social justice communities.

I don't know why people have hated Jews for so long, except that I suppose it feels good to have someone else to blame your problems on. But people really truly do hate Jews, and they really truly have for a very long time with unthinkably tragic consequences, and there are modern groups who are absolutely thrilled to be able to bring newcomers into their circles of Jew-hate in the guise of fighting for justice.

And so many of the people I thought were my friends are following them into it without a second thought.

I am disappointed. I am betrayed. I am hopeless.

And I guess I'm pretty damn alone, because I am sure as hell not going to align myself with people whose values are in opposition to my own just because the leftists are also showing their hate.

It breaks my heart.

I'm posting this on my secret sideblog because, I don't know, I've been reading Jumblr for months now and it often helps me feel less alone and I suppose I am reaching out a hand asking if anyone else will be willing to take my hand and tell me I am not alone.

We are not a monolith, I know some of you feel differently from me in either direction, but I know at least some of you feel like I do and even those of you who don't fully align with me will still not smear me with hatred.

Tomorrow I am going to my first ever Rosh Hashanah service and I have been doing my best to prepare and I want to be proud, I want to be joyful, I want to embrace hope for a brighter new year and I want to shout to the rooftops that my people are beautiful and our traditions are beautiful and isn't it wonderful that I am able to step back where I belong among them, but instead I want to weep.

[logansargey]

Hii, I saw your fic and I thought that the name is kinda familiar and I was righttt! I read through your blog and I agree with u esp with the ah l*stappen. For me, I don’t really get the lore of the relationship. And tendency is that they usually drag other drivers to further their uhm visions ✨ but not really in a good way.

I am Carlos girlie so it really makes me sad that usually in the blogs that I encountered, altho not only that ship, Carlos is like always the bad guy or they put him in a bad light? I mean it is RPF and I just avoided them but to push it thru real life too is weird 😭. Like i get that u dont like him but to push that agenda when the guy didn’t even do anything and Carlos has both good relationship with them so yea 😞

So u can imagine my frustration when that clip with Checo and Max went viral 😾. Like Checo and Carlos are close friends in the paddok, they said it in an interview, what are u on about 😭.

Anyway i want to ask ur ahh opinion about charlos and carcar? I think you already answered versainz. Im a big fan of them too!! Well anything with carlos really 😸

Sorry it might be long 😅

Anon, you can ask me any long question and I'll read all of it. Also I love Carlos so I'm so glad I get to talk about him. This is also kinda long but I wanted to give my full opinion. ALSO YES ABOUT THE FIC!! I LOVE FLORENCE AND HOPED I WOULD FIND SOMEONE THAT KNOWS THEM

So here are my opinions on the things you've asked me:

1. Charlos: I seriously love them. But recently they remind me of a divorced couple. (I'm a child of divorce. I'm talking about Charlos btw. Not actually a child of divorce) And it HURTS!!! if you told me a year or two ago that I'd be going through this, I'd laugh in your face. But I love Charlos and the angst, the humor, and the clinginess. They're honestly so cute. They're not my fav (we all know who my fav is) but they definitely made it to my top 7. But also, I feel like Carlos fans and Charles fans have different opinions abt Charlos. Most Carlos fans love it and adore it, while most Charles fans ignore Carlos and seem to make him a bad person and compare the two. (Which driver was the only non rb winner last year?)

2. Carcar: IT'S HONESTLY SO GOOD!! It's such a random ship bc it came out of nowhere and we all started loving it. The jokes that are made (check Oscar's tt comment section) are so funny. It's probably in my top 5 because I love random funny ships like them. I also love the whole "we share a mutual good friend who wants us to get along but we low-key don't think we ever will" type trope. But Carlos has come forward and talked about their "rivalry" or lack of, I should say. So I approve of Carcar

3. Versainz: idk if I have talked about them, but if I have, oh well I'm gonna talk about them again. Versainz is the best ever. I miss them being teammates and the whole "we're both nepo-babies that need to make our dad's proud and we're fighting for the same seat" I WISH Carlos got that seat, tho I'm happy for Checo. Ily, Checo 🫶🏼 Versainz gives me that whole "we're low-key in love with each other but can't act on it bc we both have trauma and internalized homophobia." vibe and I love it lmaoo. THE FICS ARE SO GOOD TOO!!

anyways anon, hope I gave you the answers you were looking for and if you have anymore questions, you can ask and I'll gladly answer.

[numbuh424]

Hello! I really love your Death Note art!! Especially your blog header. I saw it and thought it was so cool how you copied the manga style!! Your posts about it say they're you're Death Note OC? Do you have anymore info you can share about them or previous posts about them? Are they a Death Note user? I'm really curious cause the art is so cool and I love reading about people's OCs. That's all, thanks for all the cool art you make!

Hello!! Thank you so much for enjoying my art 🙏 And thank you for asking about my OC! I've never really talked about her publicly before just cause I've never really... Made an OC before? So this ask made me really happy 🥹 I'll try to keep this short but it definitely won't be lol because I don't know when I'll ever get to talk about her again.

Years ago I had a plot stewing in my head for a story where Near shuts down the L successor program, steps down as L, and puts the title to rest. It takes place a year after the A-Kira story, which is around 10 years after Death Note's main story.

The idea was that someone began exposing Wammy's for their covered-up misdeeds and the fact that this is where successors of L were being raised. Because of that information being leaked, Wammy's House becomes unsafe for everyone in it.

OC talk under the cut 🙏

Apart from needing an antagonist who leaks all this information, I also needed a character who was there during the years Near wasn't to fill in the gaps for him and lead him to the culprit.

All the major information about her is here on this OC character profile I made a while back. Lee honestly began as a general persona/self-insert that I use whenever I want to draw myself. I still often use her as my persona when I make silly doodles and whatnot. However, as a Death Note OC, I've really lost control of her and she has just gone on to take a life of her own lol

Lee comes from Wammy's House and entered when she was 12, a lot later than the rest. She first arrived only months before L died and Near and Mello left to hunt Kira. Though gifted with photographic memory, she could never really make it into the successor program through that alone. Despite this, she dedicated her years at Wammy's to pursuing the title against all odds, only to come up short every single time until she finally graduated. Knowing she wasted years pursuing the title, she grew bitter towards L and the program and left the orphanage to pursue an art career like she originally wanted.

She became an art teacher and kept her distance from anything related to the crime/police/investigators. Unfortunately, as fate would have it (fate being me, the person controlling everything about her life), she became a witness to a crime where she used her skills to draw the culprit. Her sketch is what gets the man arrested and what causes the police to recruit her. Though she always said she'd abstain from detective work after wasting her time on it at Wammy's, she wants to be useful so she agrees to work part-time lowkey.

She doesn't like having the spotlight on her, as years of fighting for it in her youth have worn out her motivation for being seen. She keeps her past under lock and key and lies about it constantly, but her memory allows her to keep track of her lies easily.

Her role in the story is that her past identity (her real name and lived experiences) is stolen and used to frame her as the person leaking information about the orphanage - an "insider tells all" who wants to destroy L, Quillish Wammy, and the orphanage. Because Lee is so detached from her past, at first she lets the culprit just use her old identity. It's not her anymore, anyway, so why bother her about it? It's only when the culprit starts murdering people and throws her current identity under the bus that she starts sweating. There's a criminal investigation underway and she's their only suspect.

Near and his team know she's not behind any of this; they're really the only ones who know for sure because of his ties to Wammy's (it's kind of a reverse L and Light situation where he's sure it's not her but everyone else is out to get her lol). However, she can definitely help point them in the direction of the person who's behind it all.

The problem is Lee's animosity towards the L program extend to Near, who is the only L she really knows considering the real L died a few months after she arrived at the orphanage. Near tries to bring her on board for the case since she's the best lead they could possibly ask for, but because of her distaste towards L and the orphanage, she refuses to join at first. The culprit going one step further and framing her for murder is what pushes her to finally go with Near and his team because her life has fallen apart and the police are coming to get her.

She really doesn't wanna help L and joins mostly for self preservation. She kinda gets a kick out of the fact that she has information the world's greatest detective can't get from anyone else. It's childish of her, but what's Death Note without a bit of childishness.

Also, to answer your other question, she's not a Death Note user. I certainly intended for her to be back then (hence the art I made for her where she has the notebook) but the story I came up with has undergone dramatic changes since. She still very much works with pen and paper, just not in that way anymore lol

That's most of the basic information about her and her role in the story I may or may not ever write. I honestly have the broad strokes mapped out already, including the ending.

Spoilers (for a story that only exists in my head lol), Near has Wammy's House demolished and has a new institution built for the kids. The successor program is dissolved and he has Lee head the art department since she was already an art teacher before everything happened.

Thanks so much for asking about her 🙏

[front-facing-pokemon]

gmax sandaconda is the DEFINITION of snootirific. i'm not the nose rater but i have to say gmax sandaconda might have the best snoot in the whole franchise

i saw someone in the tags of one of the posts where i used the word "snootiferous" say that they added that word to their vocabulary. as though it was a word i didn't make up. i totally did make it up and now i keep saying it, specifically in posts on this blog. i have not said it anywhere in my real life but if i can make other folks say it then i think that's the ultimate funny

not getting their models, but rendering the eyes properly. there are two competing and likely theories for why the eyes are so fucked up in gen 9: number one being that the eyes are rendered dynamically in-game as shaders instead of as flat textures like they typically were in past pokémon games so that pokémon can look around, have reflections in their eyes, have more dynamic eyes, et cetera, which means they're much more difficult to render authentically for quick silly tumblr screenshots; and number two being that game freak renders them dynamically as a "security measure" to keep folks online from ripping the models as easily to use them for… whatever they want. such as blogs like this, which are of course extremely harmful to the pokémon company's bottom line and destroying their business et cetera et cetera (sarcasm). either way, the eyes are fucked up, and i either have to find a way to recreate the eye textures from what i am given in the texture files, or i have to find a way to recreate the eyes to the best of my ability using shaders in something like… blender, which is what i've been using for more recent models since gen 7. that puts more work on me for every individual model, and isn't exactly easy for models that i have to rip and convert myself when there are dozens of nodes in the shading panel that i don't know what to do with. for example, here's what quaxly (famously, a pokémon with pupils that can look around, as it appears in a whole cutscene in-game) looks like out-of-the-box when i convert it myself from the model format used in-game:

if you can't tell what's wrong, here's what it's Supposed to look like:

notice the white pupils? those aren't rendered properly in blender, notably because no texture exists for them. no texture even exists for anything you see in the eyes there, but it's all somehow magically appeared in the shading section, by magic. and i am not that kind of wizard

this means very little to me. i just played around with some of the nodes by looking at the strangely-colored textures that were given to me with the .trmdl conversion, and i managed to get something close enough:

but they kinda look like they're looking in two different directions (possibly fine? we'll have to see how they look front-facing) and the colors are slightly off (can anyone tell but me? possibly not); not to mention it likely won't be this easy with every pokémon. pokémon whose eyes are much more complex or have colors i can't easily match, for example, or pokémon for whom multiple parts of their eyes are missing… not to mention i don't necessarily have the time or willpower to be spending hours tinkering with these models every morning to make sure the eyes look right. ideally i can take what i've learned from fucking with quaxly right now to hopefully move forward a bit smoother, and eventually i'll refine a process. but until then, this is what worries me

right, but it's also less funny. the initial concept for this blog, inspired by pokémon like snivy, is that some pokémon look really funny when they're up in your face staring at you. it's a concept everyone loves. but if they're facing away from you, there's considerably less to work with there. they're all Kinda just gonna look the same. they lose a lot of that personality. i suppose i'll consider it if i ever run Really low on options, though

nah. i don't do visual art anymore. that time has passed—now if i do it, it's usually a one-off thing and i never want to look at what i've created again afterward

[pluralforsheep]

CW: Nazism, TribeTwelve, swear words, (vent??)

Spoilers for EMH, Canyouseethewords blog, TribeTwelve and Sebastian's Journal.

Hi, it's me again. No shit. So. It's been like a month since the whole drama unfolded and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. I know things have quieted down lately, and like many others, I wish we could all move on and forget this ever happened. However, I can't simply recover from it, mainly because I feel the posts about me continue to spread on this platform, radiating the negativity and false info about me to this day. This drama has been devouring me for a long time now, and I've decided to make another post. I gotta admit I haven't been 100% honest in my previous post, it was more of my attempt to back off, cry over it and avoid this drama. But I'm not doing that again. I'm done pretending and I'm tired of being nice and tolerating others when they're completely misguided. I'm fucking angry. That's why I decided to make one more post about this and I have so many things to say. This is not another apology post, think of it as a vent post and recap explanation of everything where I'll be brutally honest.

Also, if anyone of you is a Nazi supporter, get the fuck out. I do not welcome you here.

First of all, I do not understand why my efforts have been ignored. I did everything that was asked of me. I acknowledged my so-called ''mistakes'', I owned up to them, deleted the posts, apologized, explained my intentions, and you decide to just fucking ignore it?? What do you want from me then, huh? I'm not the ignorant here, you are fucking ignorants. Made me realize I actually haven't done anything wrong. Made me wonder if I should've even deleted those posts, I put a lot of effort into them, and some people actually liked them. It's not my fault some of you are sensitive and brainwashed by censorship culture and you can't accept or understand a canon-accurate depiction of characters. You think I've been sweeping something under the rug? No. In fact, it's the opposite. You've been sweeping this whole shit under the rug by dismissing me as a Nazi supporter, just because I drew something that was considered canon for so many years. I've done nothing wrong, I've been honest about my art the entire time. I draw what I enjoy and what is accurate to the lore. I love history and the Slenderverse, and I draw canon-accurate content, yet you get mad over it. It's so ridiculous. If this post can't open your fucking eyes, I don't know what else will, and frankly I don't care anymore. I'm done with this shit. I've acted like the adult I am, and took responsibility. However I'm not going to point any fingers or dismiss anyone specifically, because I am not like this.

And to everyone: If you don't like something, just ignore it. But if it really seems problematic and malicious, why not contact the person directly and talk it out, or find ways to know their true intentions instead of making hundreds of hate-posts about them like some pissy children. This is such a toxic behavior.

About the whole Nazi stuff:

Don't get me wrong. Nazism is a sensitive topic, I understand that. But I think being offended by it right now, in the 21st century, is just so ridiculous to me. I understand it can get very annoying tho. They talk about WW2 and the Austrian painter on TV non-stop. But being offended by some art? Like, are you serious. Do you realize Nazi shit has been in so many fanfiction, stories and literature for so many years, and you have no reason to get offended by it? The Nazi concept has been used in so many media, whether just for a joke or a serious plot point. South Park, Family Guy, Indiana Jones, Marvel Universe, X-Men, The Boys, and God knows what else.. Would you get offended by a fanart of cute little fat boy Eric Cartman? Of course not. But I can easily say: ''He's a Nazi! You drew a cute fanart of him! You're a Nazi supporter!'' That's you. That's how you sound. Do you see how ridiculous that is? There are thousands of people shipping him with Kyle Broflovski, oh but he's a Jew, and they hate each other in the show. Yet there are artists who make ship art of them. Does anyone complain? At the end of the day, they're just fictional characters, and I rather ignore it even if it kinda annoys me. Btw, South Park is just an example of this issue, I'm not targeting anyone or anything specifically here.

The Brandit post:

I really need to go back and add something to that post of HABIT saying ''LET'S FUCK AND PISS OFF OUR ANCESTORS.'' which creeped Firebrand out (honest reaction). That quote seemed really harsh, I know. Was it bad humor? Yeah.. But do I regret drawing this? At this point, I must say no. I did not stutter. As I said, I will be brutally honest from now on. Do you think HABIT wouldn't say that? Do you think he wouldn't say something sexual to a Jewish person, or frankly to anyone really? Yes, he would!! It's in his nature, he's fucked up. Are we trynna ignore the fucking scene of HABIT pulling the jerk off gesture at Noah?? Did we all not see the same thing?? He is like this. He makes fun of him while adding Christmas decorated borders on a letter for him. He's aware Noah is Jewish, yet he pulls a sexual gesture at him. Don't try to deny this one.

About the symbols... From what I've just said, I drew the little symbols there next to them (Star of David and Hakenkreuz) because I wanted people to see and realize the fact that these two guys are a Jew and a (former) Nazi, which people have been sweeping under the rug, not me. Also, if anyone remembers the post I made, I believe I wrote ''I should have put Christmas borders there as well/jk.'' under it or something like that. I removed it later on because people didn't seem to get it. It was obviously a reference to Severance. Everything I draw is a fucking reference. That being said, this post was made for awareness, not romanticization, and I do not ship them, neither romantically nor platonically, I just really like drawing them together, because of their iconic trope, canon interactions, mutual respect and shared spite for Slenderman, and the fact that HABIT helped Noah many times. That's it. Also, I wouldn't ship HABIT with anyone romantically. That is just wrong in so many levels.

Canyouseethewords blog and Sebastian's Journal:

If you didn't grasp the point of the Josef Mengele post either, go read Canyouseethewords blog here on Tumblr. It's part of the EMH lore. Basically, this blog belonged to Evan's girlfriend Stephanie, but HABIT takes over the blog later on and makes various posts about infamous real serial killers, such as Ed Gein, Jack the Ripper, and even the Nazi doctor, Josef Mengele. Whether HABIT wanted to imply that he's possessed those various people, that part of lore remains silent. At some point, I believed he's possessed those various people, so I wanted to to draw one of them, and I chose to draw Josef simply because I liked the idea of the connection with him and The Event from T12. That's it. And if that weren't the case that he's possessed any of those people, which would be rather a big relief, he's still possessed a different Nazi character in T12, which has been retconned. A character that no one really seems to know of, which is understandable. I get that some people don't want to analyze and support T12 anymore after what Adam did. In all honesty, I think sometimes it's best to separate the creator from the creation. I hate Adam, but I love T12. Anyway, in the story of Sebastian's Journal is a guy named Sergeant Heine who is (or was supposed to be) possessed by HABIT at some point. It implies to Severance where HABIT said he's been working with a group of Nazis on a particular project, including Sebastian. However, that connection has been retconned.

The HABIT/Nazi lore shit, people keep complaining and pissing about for no reason:

Listen, it was part of the lore for so many years that it's difficult to simply ignore it now. As someone who's been part of the Slenderverse fandom for years, going back, I just cannot think of it as a non-canon at this point. And I've already said the point of HABIT's character, and you all should know this by now. However I'll clarify it again anyways. The point is that he's an abomination of all the horrific actions humanity has committed, including atrocities of Nazism. He's done so many bad shit, as if eating a baby on screen wasn't enough, yet, of all the things he's done, people get mad over him being a former Nazi?? Like are you kidding me.. It's so ridiculous and hypocritical.

However... When I think about it, maybe HABIT was never even a Nazi, I mean- Working with them is one thing. He probably doesn't even give a single fuck about some ideology bullshit. He likely participated in the Nazi party purely for the sake of killing people. He wouldn't care less if his victims were Jews, Romani, or anyone else, he simply enjoys killing people for the sake of torture. Heck, he doesn't even remember the name of the party he was in. In Severance, he stuttered when trying to say ''Nazis'', which, in my opinion, was funny as hell. But that one is just an idea of his character.

Anyway. Even if HABIT wasn't a former Nazi at all, would it change anything? Absolutely not. He would still be the same horrible piece of shit he is. And sorry not sorry, but he was never meant to be a likable character. As a well-written antagonist, yes. But as a person? Hell no, so far from it. There is literally no reason for people to get mad over him being a former Nazi, and if you are, it's hypocritical of you, considering everything else he's done.

I must say one more thing, and it's the only thing I'm truly sorry for is that I didn't put content warnings and explanations on those posts. I made people angry unnecessarily for my impulsive actions.

I think that's all. Perhaps I've learned something by the end of the day, and I hope that at least some of you who are reading this, have learned something as well. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this (if you have), I appreciate it so much. See you on the flipside.

[t-t-tau-me]

I present to you, their radiance, Blight (Steven universe)!

I'm sure whoever's looking at this has a lot of questions so quick q&a! The first half will be the creator stuff and the other half will be about the actual AU.

Creation questions

Is this the final piece?

No, this is just a work in progress I've been working on for quite some time. This is meant to be a reference sheet, But as someone who likes seeing the process of other artists when they do stuff I thought it would help my mental a little to just put something I'm working on out there.

Do you plan on creating a full Steven universe AU?

Yes, two actually! I know that seems like a lot of work if anyone has ever worked on an AU before, But most of what someone would worry about should be covered by now.

Will there be an ask blog?

Yes. Once I've completed enough pieces I feel necessary I will open asks for the blight AU temporarily, It will close after a period of time and a new blog will be open just for the AU.

What's with the get up and shield?

The outfit is heavily inspired by Buddhism as a whole, must have light is actually. Obviously it's an extreme messed up version of it, But still.

As for his shield, It just came out that way after the "incident"

What's the point of this AU?

Have you ever had those moments where you're so overwhelmed you wish you wouldn't feel anything at all? Well, what would happen if that wish came true? You're now unable to feel that anguish of whatever you're dealing with, but you also don't feel joy either. You have friends and family who you still remember, But now you're about as attached as you would be to a stranger.

You know logically why people are worried about you, But you can't quite grasp it on an emotional level...All they're worrying is just so unnecessary. You used to protect and fix things right?..Maybe there's a way to do that more permanently. What happened to you has to have happened for a reason right? Maybe a sign from a greater power for a far bigger purpose for your existence. Either way, with all the power you have, It's your job to make sure no one suffers again.

Are you doing this out of sympathy for the people around you? No. But does the motivation truly matter when you're saving the world? It is your calling to protect them, to save them from themselves and the horrible world that demands their suffering.

I guess when I'm trying to say is, What if Steven lost the ability to empathize But still attempted to be wanted and protect people? How much of your sense of self would you begin to lose if you suddenly couldn't feel what everybody else could?

Lore questions

What the hell is in blight's eye?

white diamond-shard

What is Blight's goals?

-Creative a world in which pain as a concept ceases to exist, and establish a paradise where all can live in eternal Bliss.

-Locate the diamonds and "convince" them to help in the ushering of the new era

-Become a force of nature unbertened by outside distractions, to indiscriminately spread joy to all.

How old is Blight?

24

What are Blight's pronouns?

him/they/it

Any notable new powers or behaviors?

There's a lot that I could say here, but I'll just say the main two.

The diamond horn in his eye allows him to wipe memories (to a certain degree), Which he often uses to convince people to stay in his "paradise". no reason to leave when you can't remember any details of your past life after all.

He constantly generates spores that can cause some nasty side effects to those affected by them (hence the name Blight). They're quite tricky to deal with, even Blight has trouble controlling this power since He can't fully stop them from spawning.

As for his personality, He's extremely calm and nurturing, to the point where it can be off-putting. Since he doesn't really have emotions anymore, He has to try his best to act in a way he believes will resonate with people... Which can have mix results. He's also extremely manipulative.

That's it for now when it comes to questions

There's a ton more I could go into, But this is one post and I could easily let curious people ask what they want. You can ask questions about blight, But keep in mind that there's a good chance there won't be art with it as technically I haven't really opened up asks yet (You can still do that anyway though).