#{{ feel the exact same things as I do; although the circumstances and reasons are different...? }}

[frozenambiguity]

Kaeya 🤝 Furina

playing their role in a never-ending performance.

[kamotecue]

i wish you would’ve cheated ★ o. batlle

pairing: ona battle x reader

summary: you wish you could hate her, but how could you—when there wasn’t anything that she had done wrong.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

you were her blessing in disguise, the italian who the spanish defender had fallen for. everyone who knew that the two of you were in a relationship thought that you’d both last—but little did they know, they were wrong.

the break up wasn’t as horrible as you expected, you quite frankly understood why—as you both had the same profession. rivals to lovers, is what the team who tease you.

you played for manchester city, while she played for the rival team, united. you were a forward, so you’d often clash with her near the goal post.

you had always collided on the field, ona being a defender—she would try to disallow your goals. and she did, four of them to be exact. the amount of times she gave you a soft smirk, or a cheeky grin.

you laughed at the memory, as you softly hummed to yourself. although it was a healthy break up, there were thoughts at the back of your mind.

i wish you would’ve cheated

as much as you supported her decision, you wished that she had cheated—so, it would be easier for you to move on. but how could you hate her? she always gave you a soft look, or used her fingers to brush a strand of hair that went in front of your eyes.

and smashed my heart to pieces

if she had smashed your heart to pieces, things would be different. you wouldn’t find yourself wanting to be with her again, the sense of longing that you feel in your chest—and the act of wanting to hold her in your arms.

you’d also provide a reason for hating them, something you didn’t have.

i wish i had a reason i could hate your guts for leaving

you hated it so much—that the breakup was healthy. growing up, you were around people who didn’t treat their significant other properly. and now that you experienced a healthy one, you were in disbelief rather.

but you couldn’t hate her, no matter how hard you tried.

i wish you were the villain, a psycho with no feelings

if she was the villain of the story, someone free from emotions or remorse, moving on would’ve been quite easier than it is.

but you’d often find yourself remembering the soft smiles she’d give you, or when you danced in the middle of the rain—and she’d stay underneath the cover calling you.

“y/n, you’re going to get sick.” she called out underneath the cover that had protected her from the rain. you simply gave her a soft smile, before twirling in the rain—laughing as you knew you would get sick and she’d have to take care of you.

but a soft smile was worn on your face, as she hummed before placing down her bag. her phone was placed on the windowsill of the building, a video had started.

“come join me, amore.” your italian accent was shown, as she contemplated but you had dragged her with a pull.

“n/n!” she gave you a surprised shout as you laughed before kissing her cheek softly. the two of you had danced in the rain, getting sick was definitely worth it.

so how do i move on—when you did nothing wrong?

but you acknowledged that she did nothing wrong, which made it difficult for you to reconcile the longing had—for the closure with the reality of circumstances that was on-going.

you looked around to see polaroids of the two of you, a bright smile was shown on your face as you posed for a picture—but she was caught staring at you.

[himbogiants]

Part of that World: Part 3

A/N: So everyone remember like a week or so ago when I said I wasn’t working on this? I lied. Jokes aside, I recently got motivation to start working on this again and figured I try work on it. My big issue was I didn’t know where exactly I wanted to go with the story and while I don’t have a plan set in stone I have a brief outline of what I want to do, so without further ado, here is part 3 several months late! Oh and we actually get some g/t in this one. Felt that was deserved after the wait Enjoy!)

The next morning, despite their classes everyone was over at Theo and Henry's flat at eight a.m. They'd decided to skip the morning classes, deeming this matter much more important.

Theo hadn't peaked at the footage early this time, now knowing what to expect wanting to be in the presence of his friends to watch what the diminutive dynamic duo. His gracefully picked up Henry’s phone and tilted it in the light. His heart had been beating wildly that concluded altogether when under speculation, tiny handprints could be seen imprinted on the screen.

He needed to sit down after seeing it, the mere height difference was staggering. They were practically pixies from his game. He was reminded of the time Maiseys character was a such a creature. It was interesting then even when simply using their imaginations, to deal with the height difference. It was like deja vu, happening again only this time not with Maisey, not imagination and apparently not pixie. Oh and the boldest of differences, this was real.

Henry -who given the commotion of the last day or so- was now up as early as his roommate, coming to Theo’s side and following his gaze. It was unreal- in fact common science deemed this impossible if the square cube law was correct

Yet here before him imprinted on his screen was all the evidence to testify. He let the light bounce off his phone to see the different angles at which they had navigated his device. To think that something- or rather someone- so alien had touched this very phone was quite a lot to process.

Theo left to open the door and let the others in, Henry gave a smug glare at the door. The groups time keeping had been almost as improbable as the current circumstances. Well at least Thomas and Sadie. Maisey was always on time- yet another thing he cherished about her.

Once again, when everyone had settled down, Theo played camera three's footage. And once again, the pair came sliding out at two in the morning.

Daphne, the more eccentric of the two had come rushing out once again. There was something about her enthusiasm that made a grin magically appear. She had a lot of energy tonight, more so than the previous one he would argue. Once again her friend, Riven, was skeptical and cautious, but followed his friend all the same. He really hoped the 'phone stunt' would win him over tonight. If he could get that borrower to see they werent a threat, he may get to meet them. He didn't feel he'd have to convince Daphne awfully hard, as she always had a fondness for human creations. He was particularly excited to see her reaction the phone.

She came out with the full intention of sourcing out the camera, only to spot the phone sitting out in the open- and exclaiming wildly to Riven.

“Riven! Riven!!! Get over here!!'

Henry froze at those words, almost the exact same words Theo had said the day prior upon his discovery. Only with his name, of course. But he also noticed the other borrower was looking around in a cautious manner- no doubt he noticed the removed traps.

"Guess she saw the phone" Thomas whispered, although there was absolutely no reason to whisper. It was as if he imagined his voice could mess with the recording.

They watched the duo try gage what on Earth a phone was, and admittedly it was extremely entertaining. Daphne had done the same quick touch test with it as she had with the camera, and she was giving her poor friend a heart attack. Then they tried to figure out how to turn it on through various attempts. It was still so weird to hear them say humans, as if they werent the foreign lifeform in the matter. After a final push the screen lit, resulting in Daphne scrambling back and poor Riven almost falling off the counter- a moment that made the entire group suck in a sharp breath and tense in their seats. But in almost no time she had them back at it.

They analysed everything.

The doorway theory was a particular favourite of Theos, as if Henry's wallpaper was actually some sort of portal.

Henry found himself amused at how she believed it to be magic, along with Maisey giggling at their belief that basic medication was too a magical property.

Thomas and Sadie however took note on how the boy blushed at the girls eyes lighting up at the phone, both smirking and leaning forward with interest.

It took them long enough to get in, through deep analysis at the time and date which everyone found themselves laughing at- and then full on cracking up at their understanding of 'swipe to unlock' along with Daphnes belief that phone granted access because it liked humiliation. Henry was quiet glad he got rid of the password now, they wouldn't have had a hope with that matter.

But the moment they'd all been waiting for had arrived. The pictures. The crew waited with baited breath, hoping, praying, that this would work. So far the phone had mamaged the multiply Daphnes wonder ten fold and had even captured the positive attention of Riven. The pictures were the last piece of the puzzle to make this a success.

They both fell silent when the photo album opened, until Daphne selected a picture.

This was it!

Everyone sat up slightly, tension and hope battled in the atmosphere, as the picture lit up the screen. An image of the group after finishing their third campaign. It was a favourite amongst the group, it reflected them all in a positive light- except Henry of course but that was part of why they loved it.

But the reactions weren't what they were hoping for.

Daphne thought they were borrowers- absolutely shocked by what she was seeing.

Riven thought it was a trap that captured borrowers and all joy had left.

Daphne in her confusion grew frustrated and confused, wanting to know why they had to hide if the borrower secret was out, more so upset with her father than anything. She found herself believing Rivens frightened theory, only she wasn't frightened, just perturbed. She believed that the borrowers in the picture were living her dream life. One of normality.

Maiseys eyes saddened. When she suggested this idea she never meant to upset anyone..

But thankfully for the group, Riven was a good friend. Despite persuading her to leave she was smiling somewhat again and Thomas and Sadie were living for the drama. As they went to turn off the phone, Daphne noticed something.

She realised they werent borrowers- and that picture was off the group. She seemed more relieved that the picture was of humans than it being a trap. She sure was reckless.

She sat by the phone pondering questions, staring in awe, though it would be her next line that hooked everyone to the screen.

'I..I wish we could talk to them'

Theo was downright ecstatic, Henry felt accomplished, Sadie shared Theos reactions mixed with Thomas's pride. Maisey felt relief and happiness, her idea had worked.

But the other borrower didn’t share her view. Riven was all but jaw-dropped by the statement, it had turned him into a stuttering mess as he searched for how to word his reasons- only for the miniture girl to come in defense of the group. Describing each and every one of them

Maisey was flattered as she blushed at the compliment touched by the borrowers words.

Sadie too found herself beaming "the girl has taste" She smirked triumphantly.

Thomas was like a child on Christmas day with his analyses. She thought he was sneaky- to which he remarked that she had "no idea"

Pretty much everyone burst out at Henry's words, all except for him, who upon mention of his glasses fixed them on his face- secretly hiding his smile as he did. He supposed there was a lot worse to be called than creepy. Maybe he'd get the chance to prove her wrong.

But the party all shared a warm smile at her compliment to Theo, whose heart pretty much melted into a puddle. She was absolutely adorable, he wanted to just scoop her up through the screen. He began picturing scenario after scenario. Her in his hands, her on his shoulder, her assisting him as Dungeon Master. Oh it was all so exciting!!

Butttt Riven just had to chip in and ruin it. No..no that wasn’t fair. Theo understood. They werent supposed to be discovered after all, it was 'dangerous'.. but wasn't it clear from Daphnes words that they wouldn't harm them?

Daphne only assured him she'd never actually talk to them, and he felt himself shift a little, heart aching at opportunity being snatched up once more.

Though, Daphne clearly wanted to join him and his friends..it wasn't fair. Surely there had to be something he could do. But Riven nor his group would approve. But she would..?

The conversation finally ended, and the pair wandered off once more retreating back to their home and Henry shut off the TV.

Nobody knew exactly what to say. On one hand the phone had served its purpose. On the other it was clear neither borrowers would make themselves known.

"Is leaving notes still an option?" Theo chirped with hints of hope lingering in his voice. Everyone frowned at this, and Theo rolled his eyes slumping into the seat. He was aware on why that was a bad idea. It would most likely push them away..or at least one of them.

"OK.. so it did and didn't work. What now?" Sadie announced as if the thought was playing everyone else's mind.

"Keep watching?" Maisey suggested

"Give them more stuff to look at?" Thomas mused.

"Guys, did you not hear them? They're never gonna do it.." Sadie groaned.

"Well we can't exactly force anything. It would ruin any chance we have at talking with them" Henry replied.

Thomas groaned

"Ugh this is yesterday all over again."

Theo stayed quiet. Something that didn't go unnoticed by Henry, with a deadpan face his sighed "I know that face. What's on your mind?"

Theo flinched a little, he forgot how good Henry was at reading people.

"I- well- fine. Look, why don't we just try make contact with Daphne? I mean did you not just see how much she wants to meet us? Would it really be so bad?"

Henry sighed "It may put a rift in their friendship though Theo, and I'm sure that's something she values much more."

Sadie however seemed to lean into Theos idea

"I can't believe I'm saying this but..Theo has a point."

Theo flexed his arms exasperated "thank you Sadi- wait hey!" Sadie paid him no mind and continued

"But I don't want to be the reason if it drives them apart. In case it wasn't obvious to the rest of you, he's mad about her. I'm not sure she knows. Or if she does she doesn't seem to acknowledge it. Point is they're really close. Nevertheless, pulling them apart would be wrong. So...we confront them together"

This split everyone up

Theo agreed, Thomas was fifty fifty, Henry and Maisey didn't like it at all.

"We should flip a coin"

"These are living beings, this isn't something to flip coins over Thomas." Henry snapped.

Everyone was shouting over one another until Theo had enough he abruptly stood from the sofa over the ensuing chaos.

"OKAY OKAY. EVERYONE SHUT UP. I didn't mean to cause an argument. I shouldn't have said it. We wait one more night then. Just one more. After tonight we decide our approach. Contact or no contact. I'm sure you all know which one I prefer. But let's see how this plays out. After all, faith might have other plans".

—————————————————————

Riven couldn't stop thinking of last night. More so Daphne, and how certain she was at the idea of meeting the humans. He lost a good chunk of sleep over it, and his sleeping pattern was messed up enough from their adventures. The more he thought on it the stranger everything seemed to be. The traps. The box. The object from last night. It was all connected, he knew that much..but he didn't understand how.

All throughout his shift he lamented of sleep and conspiracies- at least that was what he was thinking off. He noticed the Chief- more so Daphnes Father- storming past him, as he did, the man glared daggers into him and stomped in the opposite direction of his home. Riven watched as he approached Barney inviting him to join his side. They spoke, though from his position Riven had no clue on what it could possibly be about. Daphnes father was infuriated, Barney looked rather smug. The chiefs dislike of him was nothing new, as well as his appraisal of that rodent Barney- but something seemed off. He longed to ask his friend about it, but he was well aware of the trouble he'd cause if he left his post-so he'd be sure to ask later.

Daphne was furious. After an hour in to her post, her father pulled her aside for a 'talk'. What may sound like a pleasant conversation was anything but. Whenever her father wanted to 'talk' it meant nothing good. Nothing good at all. Begrudgingly she followed suit, as the pair traversed through the colony into the woods, though it was more her following behind him like some obedient creature.

Her father remained silent and she gulped. That couldn't be good.

"Don't you have anything to say?"

Uh oh.

"Um..lovely weather we're having?"

His glare was so sharp she was sure it cut into her.

"You left the colony last night."

Daphne stopped walking feeling her heart stop.

"No, I was at home, repairing some clothes. Where'd you get that from?"

At this he turned to face her, something she didn’t appreciated as his eye contact was not something she found herself able to hold. He looked perfectly enraged.

"A report from Senon was that you were seen entering the border at sunrise. So don’t play coy with me”

Daphne internally cursed- she knew she should've gone the other way- of course Senon would rat her out, he was one of Barney's right hand men. In her defence she had checked for wandering eyes but none were found. Of course Senon had found some way to spy on her. But at least Rive-

"With that boy."

She shut her eyes and huffed out a sign of frustration at her karma. She’d get Barney for this. And that weasel of a spy. For now she needed to sort this, for Rivens sake. He risked enough for her.

"Father I-"

"How many times?"

"I'm- I'm sorry?"

"How many times have I told you no?"

"I can ex-"

"How many times?"

His voice was eerily low, and part of her wished that he would just scream and scratch this suffocating tension. But her father wasn't the type. She swallows her frustration and continued

"Many- but I"

"Precisely"

He laughed dryly but even to an unknown ear one could tell he was far from happy. He'd continue soon enough though, he just happened to appreciate the art of dramatic pauses. Daphne remained silent.

"And yet you still left!"

There it is

"Part of me believes this isn't your first offence either, is it?"

Her face had burned red, and her lips parting as she tried to finally fathom words, for Rivens sake.

“I’ve left before but only to see more of what the forest had to offer! With the colony growing bigger I thought.. it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry. But Riven did no wrong. I made him come with me last night… for..for protection as despite what you feel he is a dear friend of mine. He could hardly disobey the daughter of the chief right?.. b-but the entire time he talked against such actions and tried to persuade me to go back!”

Her father’s brows furrowed even further, his cheeks blooming a rosy hue. She’d really done it now.

“He does not take orders from you but me. You may be my daughter but you do not hold such power. Now you listen here. This is never to happen again. And you stay away from that boy- or I'll have him pay the consequences. Are we clear?"

Her eyes widened at the thought of the harm her father could cause Riven, sickening imagery infecting her mind. She wanted to curse to him at how valiant Riven was and how he was twice the man than anyone in the damn colony. But that would make matters worse. For now she was just relieved she’d gotten the blame off of her only ally.

"Yes, father."

Her father huffed at this.

"And If you want protection, you come to me. I will assign you a guard. No matter how many times I ensured you that leaving this colony was out of the question you went anyways. Now if you won't listen I'll make you listen, through punishing that boy. You stay away and you stay put. It’s time you grow up. You're eighteenth nameday passed over eleven moons ago. It is time you contribute to our colony and this family. It is time we find you a suitor, and you continue our legacy and lineage."

There was so much to comprehend from what he had just said and she felt like vomiting. Her father wanted her to marry and bare children? She was still a child herself. There was so much left to do she wasn't ready to settle! She never wanted to in the first place! She was made to explore and see more of what this world had in store not become some maiden. There was nothing wrong with such aspirations- but they weren’t hers!

"Father please, I- I'm not ready for such duties. I contribute already through the Scouts. A-and I know I've said it before but I could do so much more if you just let me borrow-"

His pupils seemed to shrink and his voice raised to a rough command.

"Listen here and listen well. I've already lost your mother. I will not loose you too. You will never be a borrower and that is for your own safety! Why don’t you understand that? I only want what’s best for you. I only want to keep you safe. Enough with this borrowing business is that clear?!"

Adding insult to injury she shook her head slowly. She’d never win. In times like these loathed not being born a man. Her father would never treat a boy this way. She seen that much through Barney.

"Good. Return to your post at once. Or need I get a guard to assist you?"

She wanted to snarl, to scream, to cry out. But it would get her nowhere, and would only earn her an unwanted chaperone like that of a child. So she nodded solemnly, turned and walked away.

As she headed back she lost herself in her thoughts. She couldn't go back to the human home now. Well, not with Riven anyways. And his support, though hesitant at times could be essential. And now with a marriage in line, her father would now have guards on her at all times- namely Barney.

Part of her had a gut wrenching worry that it was Barney who he had in mind, she'd worried it from the start. But Barney was just a guard. She knew she'd most likely be married to a son of a council member. And the idea both disgusted and relieved her.

She was unbelievably pent up. She couldn't go to Riven- she couldn’t risk his punishment. She’d find a way to write to him, explain the situation and delve some sort of plan. Suns, how could she simply go back scouting after all this?

Daphne was angry. Now she had been angry the night before, but that was an uncertain mix with confusion and sadness intertwined, possibly a hint of betrayal. But this anger was raw- and for her optimistic self, quite rare.

And when anger like this came upon her, she tended to do stupid things.

She wasn’t weak. She wasn’t stupid. Yes her decision making wasn’t as agile but that didn’t affect her smarts. If her father was never going to let her do anything then perhaps it was time to show him how good of a borrower she could be. She’d bring back such finds a borrower couldn’t dream off. And to keep Riven safe she’d.. she would have to go alone. She wilted at this, but images of life filled with boredom and childcare filled her mind, and the only thing to do was run away from that possibility. It was time to borrow.

Riven had always trusted his gut instincts. And after her fathers venomous gaze and Barney's vulgar smugness he knew something was wrong with his friend. He didn't have very much time left on duty, the sun's position telling him it was around high noon. It could be really difficult to tell the time on cloudy days when one couldn't access the sun, but today was one of the sunniest summer had offered thus far and while the heat was intense to a borrower, he was just thankful for a speculation of when he finished at this mind numbingly boring post. Although he'd never say it out loud he envied humans for their measurements of seconds, minutes, hours, the whole package. He could admit that understanding the clock in that kitchen would be a helpful endeavour.

His partner today (Wren? He was almost sure that was her name anyways) had stretched, announced they were done and headed off to the makeshift food area.

But Riven turned the opposite way. He needed to find Daphne, he needed to make sure he was okay. Put an end to these stupid gut feelings that taunted him. Ensure she was safe.

He was so distracted on sourcing out Daphnes post, he hadn't even heard a voice behind him.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Riven came to a sudden halt, his fight or flight instincts always kicked in at that voice- and they always assumed the fighting aspect.

Barney.

Though it seems today that he had reacted a tad bit too late, as by the time he turned around two figures siezed him- one kicking in his legs to buckle his knees, the other adding a foot into his stomach that made nausea spew with the pain.

Unable to avoid it he collapsed to the ground with a grunt, and Barney hunched down before him.

"Told you I'd deal with you later, didn't I?"

He shoved his face into the muck, erupting a sharpness in his head.

"Restrain him. Chief did say this was a punishment after all"

Rivens eyes widened at this. Punishment? What for? And more importantly where was Daphne?

—————————————————————

Daphne had never been here during the day. And she'd never been alone. A pang spread through her chest that Riven wasn't by her side today. She knew he'd worry if he was aware she came here alone. But Daphne so badly needed to clear her head and so after her long venture to the building and in through the walls, she had arrived at the tile. This was the same tile she always came rushing through today- but as of now she was in no mood at all to rush anything. She had never been caught before, the pair had always been more than careful. She just couldn't convert that to her father but she would soon enough. She would show him there was so much more to her than 'continuing a legacy'.

She softly pulled back the tile and stepped out.

Her senses were almost overwhelmed at the site. The kitchen looked so lively in the daylight. There was signs of activity too, giant cups, (or mugs? What was the right word? Why did humans need two words for there liquid containers?) their was a wift of something strong in the air coming from inside the cups but she couldn't describe what- not only that but there were five of them. Suns how much did humans drink? Surely only one lived here right? Was this amount normal?

She noticed things the moonlight seemed to neglect, like plants sitting on the opposite side of the room. She felt a growing urge to go explore them, her earlier anger dissipated away like clouds in a sun filled sky.

Here she stood out on the counter. The sake way she had many times before, a newfound bravery washing over her. She was finally going to borrow. What was the point in being called a borrower after all, if one could not do such a thing?

The clock still ticked on, but the kitchen didn't sound as empty- partially due to the vented window that granted access to bird song. Bird song that otherwise distracted her from other sounds.

It was then that Daphne remembered in her calmer mind frame, about that strange box she was determined to dissect.

Only when she turned to look at it, it wasn't there. She felt a little disheartened at this, having been so enthralled with it the past two days. Yesterday on the way home she vowed she'd uncover its secrets tonight, but that wouldn't be the case now.

She walked along the counter top, feeling as if she'd forgot something or a part of her was missing without her usual company. She wasn't a fan of this feeling.

She never gone this far in either, having passed the profound trench of the sink. She always found that word funny since she had learned of it, it felt fitting. The water would sink down bellow into a mysterious hole, she'd love to know where it would go. Or where it came from for starters. Borrowers got their water naturally, heating up with fire from small candles (another obsession she used to have, she found fire fascinating. At the age of ten when she had tried to touch it, it had no been friendly or welcoming, leaving a long mark that still scarred the majority of her left arm today. Not to mention, during this era, she'd almost set the colony afire..four times.) She wondered if humans did too.

Now she was passing a large glassy plane- not unlike the object from the previous night. It had four wide circles drawn on it, and near the edge of the counter, strange little details with words on images lay waiting command.

She was about to go over and methodically fiddle with these off triggers- when she noticed just up ahead.

Another box.

Or maybe the same one?

She didn't care. She was going to figure it out. Yes. She'd figure it out and then find something to take back home with her. Or perhaps take this home?

She dashed over, feeling a sudden rush spread throughout her. This is what she was made for. And even though it was hard to ignore to emptiness with her confidante, this felt right.

She stopped just before it once more, dropping to her knees. The red light was gone, which struck her as odd. That red dot was always blinking? Though thinking on it she'd never inspected the back of these boxes. Maybe there would be an answer there?

And so she did, there was a few notable indents, some writing- a new odd word. She tested it on her tongue

"C-came-ra? Cam-erah? Huh? Is that what you are? However you say it.."

Then she noticed another weird circle- what was it with humans and their constant circles?- but similar to the lines on the object last night, it too jutted out. Remember how she- or rather they- had dealt with that, and so she pressed against it.

She hurried back over to the front with anticipation- and to her delight it had returned! She squealed and gave a quick clap of victory, proud of herself.

She tilted her head and scratched her head.

"So..what do you do? Clearly your strange light does something..but what?"

It was then Daphne heard the door open followed by a thunderous voice. She felt her heart drop into her stomach. And eyes widen at a revelation.

Humans.

She was given no time to process this unwelcoming intrusion as through the door walked an impossibly tall lurking giant. He had dark hair, dark eyes and strange circles on his face. It was the grumpy human she'd seen yesterday!

Realising her position she instantly scrambled for cover- her only shelter being the camera. She curled up into the smallest ball she could muster and sue held her breath. He heart was hammering like that of a hummingbird.

She had always wanted to meet a human. But out of that group this was the last one she wished to meet. And she never expected to be this scared. Her form was trembling, so much so she worried he'd hear her quivers. She longed for Rivens reassurance, and with him in mind she felt a small tug of determination. Covering her mouth with one hand and holding her heart with another and sat, and she waited.

Henry entered the kitchen, everyone had been long gone since this morning. Theo was in his room preparing to leave for his late lecture. Henry felt quite fortunate he didn't need to leave for another hour. He decided to ask Maisey if she'd be finsihed before then so he could leave with Theo and meet up with her for a bite to eat.

He had at least, until he remembered the state of the kitchen.

Fair, it wasn't overly messy, but nobody had bothered to clean up their mugs and cups from this morning! Along with Theo leaving out the bread after his toast. He'd be sure to berate him for that later.

He collected the coffee mugs and empty tea cups in his hand holding all by the handle and made his way over to the dishwasher to deposit them. He bent down and placed each one in and once done he looked up to turn and grab the bread- only to notice the light blinking on Theos second camera. He gave an irritated growl.

"And he'd be the very one complaining that it ran out of battery. Theo!! Stop leaving your damn cameras on!!"

Daphne wondered at that moment how well a humans ears worked. She'd never been this close to one- nor even seen one. But she prayed their ears lacked in sense for what they made in size when she gave a contorted muffled squeak as he gained proximity. This boy was absolutely massive and he had no right to be that tall- he looked far too tall- even for human standards, which was saying something to be sure! He was just a little bit off from crouching to get through the door.

And now he was standing over her. Right over her! Even as he whispered under his breath, it still muffled throughout her, his yells to his fellow human even more so, reverberating every bone in her mere body.

She could hear Riven in her head, berating her with how he knew this would happen, only to recall all the continuous times he had warned her to be careful. She'd always heeded those warnings in her own way. All but today. And if she didn't act fast, the reason for those warnings would happen to her. She'd be caught.

But where to go?! The human currently loomed over the counter top, his face caught in a web of perplexed intensity, as if thinking through his every own choices. Whatever could he be thinking about? It was clearly something to do with this box- no..this camera- but what? It was eating her up inside and she began to entertain the thought of how his face would look if he spotted her. Would it contort and twist, into one of anger or disgust? Would it light up like the candle lights she had once been so attached to? Would his eyes buldge trying to comprehend what he couldn't possibly understand?

She shook her head briskly, she couldn't think like that! Not now anyways! She needed an exit. An escape. Shelter of any forgiving object that welcomed their endearing shadows to hide in. Then when the coast was clear once more she’d grab something worthy and go.

From down the hall Henry heard Theo zipping up his bag and watched clearly unamused as he strolled on in obliviously to grab his toast- which had mysteriously disappeared

"Heyyy” he drawled “I wasn't done"

Henry glared and pointed to the camera

"Did you hear me?"

Theo rolled his eyes and dramatically sauntered over raising a brow.

"Hear what exactly?"

Henry could choke him but he persisted. He gave a short sigh that paired well with his shortened temper.

"Stop leaving the cameras on in the day time."

Theo scoffed, clearly taken a back by this and was reflexive to defend himself

"Um no? I turned it off this-" His eyes met the device. The blinking light however, said otherwise, making his brows furrow in confusion..odd. No, no he swore he had turned it off- no he knew he turned it off. Yet here it sat blinking to itself and capturing this very conversation.

He snatched it up to double check, almost hitting the tiny girl that had been hiding behind- his breath hitched. His eyes widened and instantly done a double take.

It..It was her.

To his side, Henry huffed watching Theos attention divert, pulling aside from the problem at hand as per usual, ready to snap at his roommate but he followed his gaze, and with an audible gasp the perfect Henry almost stumbled in disbelief, his glasses tilting out of place from the commotion.

Far above Daphne, two giant boys stared down at her, and the only sound was the haunting tick from the clock on the wall. Aside from her pacing heartbeat all was still, in such motion she recognised them. Both were from the strange device. This was their home then. She caught herself before she could pondering further. She had been caught. Caught.

According to the stories she'd been fed growing up, this was a death sentence. And she didn't intend on paying it.

With adrenaline now pumping through her veins she decided not to purge anymore precious time, breaking out into a mad sprint. She wouldn't make it to the tile, not from here, but she could make it to the window!!

It seemed her actions had eluded some sort of wakeup call, and as it washed over the towering beings behind her mayhem ensued.

The smaller of the duo cried out to her, his voice deafeningly loud and desperate. Had she not been running she'd have covered her ears and their aggravating ringing.

The window was in sight, and blessed was she that it had been open an inch or so. That was all she needed anyways!

But as if his first plea hadn't been enough, on came seconds

"WAIT!!"

The windowsill before her vanished from view so rapidly she'd sworn she'd gotten whiplash and in its stead slammed down a harrowing wall of warm flesh. Left. Right. All exits were blocked. She let loose a cry as the other giant snapped.

"THEO!" Henry snarled

Theo gasped at what he had just down, as the pitiful Daphne scrambled away from the hand falling onto her backside.

She turned around so suddenly, her face red and full of fear. Theos heart dropped instantaneously. He scared her. Guilt singed and he was sputtering out unprocessed words.

"Gahh! I- I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to I-"

The girl was a shivering mess- a contrast to her usual excited self. God. He did this. This wasn't right. She wasn't right.

Her eyes met his and he felt himself freeze. The world was still once more and for the one moment it was just him, and this unexplainably miniture girl caught between avoiding him or his twitching hand caving her in. Catching this he retracted his hand, a little too fast for current events. She was breathing so quick, too quick. He'd almost given the poor thing a fully blown panic attack- nevermind a heart attack. Henry's backhand met his head

"What were you thinking!?" His roommate hissed. "Are you trying to scare her to death?!"

Henry's infuriated eyes left Theo and took in the uncanny sight before him, and done his best to soften his shock filled gaze. Bur hiding shock at a time like this was impossible. Still, she was shivering.. and he doubted looming over the girl was helping, intentional or not.

He sucked in a small breath and bent down on his knees to make his bumbling height less imposing on her, with Theo instantly following suit and dropping to the ground by his side. Henry drank in her fidgeting features, seemingly unaware of how his critical analysis unnerved every bone in her body worse than his looming. He transcribed his words thoughtfully in his head before speaking.

"I..I do apologise for all that commotion, my friend here doesn't tend to think before he acts" he shot a quick gaze to Theo who looked a mix regretful, floored and encapsulated. He continued softly, trying to assure her. He had to get her to calm down.

"It's going to be okay. I promise you're safe. We won't hurt you"

When the girl said nothing, he tried another approach, attempting to soften his voice even further.

"My name is Henry.."

Theo perked up at this, shaking his head to get his thoughts straight. How could he have forgotten introductions? He'd be smacking himself later for majority of his actions thus far but more so for his lack of manners.

"I-I'm Theon but I go by Theo-.. I'm so so sorry, I really didn't mean to scare you I just-..well.." He hung his head in a solemn shame "what he said."

Daphne was a shell of her former self. She longed for this moment. Dreamed of it.

But now that it was happening she couldn't comprehend it.

And so she collapsed.

[admrlthundrbolt]

Straight Through The Heart (Eddie Munson x Chubby Reader)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie being in love with Dustin's older sister.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Being an outcast to Eddie came natural. It seemed like it was the Munson legacy to be a freak and he didn't mind. Until it came to you.

You were different. His favorite quote of yours had to be, ‘I treat everyone with kindness, until they give me a reason otherwise’. And apparently laying into the ‘freaks’ that made up the Hellfire club was one of those things that pushed past those limits. Which included him and now your brother and company.

Although the part about him being under your protection wasn't obvious to him until after he had fallen for you. But was made clear to him your senior year to be exact.

“You're an idiot hanging around those freaks.”

Eddie had no idea what he had stumbled upon, just that Jason was involved.

Peaking around the corner, the last thing he expected was to see Jason leaning over you, as you leaned against a wall.

You seemed unperturbed, rolling your eyes like this was a regular occurrence. “Back off Jason.” You spat out, pushing yourself from the wall. “I know your hung up on the past, but we aren’t sharing snacks in elementary anymore."

As you tried to walk past him, he slammed an arm against the wall. Effectively blocking your path. “Yeah, your right. Because you choose those freaks over your actual friends.” He leaned closer, but still maintain his same volume. “Listen I can understand Dustin and his band of losers. But the Hellfire club, you’ve been hanging around that little cult since we started high school. Don’t you think it’s time to give up on those freaks. Or do I have to convince you by roughing up their pathetic leader? “

In only a moment your positions change, if Eddie had blinked he would have missed it. There you were holding Jason up against the wall by his varsity jacket, looking much more helpless than you ever had in the conversation.

“If you lay a single finger on anyone I care about, I will have no sympathy in beating you to a pulp. “ Your breathing seemed impossibly steady to Eddie. Almost like you had prepared for this situation. You slammed his back against the wall. “Do I make myself clear?”

Jason nodded so quickly that a click resounded through the painful silence. You let him go and smooth out his jacket. He then shook you off and squared his shoulders.

This move made Eddie have the urge to come to your aid. But seeing your previous actions, held himself back. You could obviously handle yourself, though how he had no idea.

“I get it now.” The irritated look that settled on Jason face would have made Eddie laugh, in any other circumstance. “You’ve got a thing for the head freak himself. Don’t you!” Jason barked out a laugh in disbelief.

“Who I have feelings for doesn’t matter Jason.” The disappointment in your face had made a deep crease appear between your brows. “What does matter is that you never grew up from that little boy that would bully snack from his classmates. I’ve just realized what’s important to me and that you have a lot of maturing to do. “

Turning from Jason, you calmly walk away. The only issue being that the direction you walked in was toward Eddie. Pressing himself flat against the wall he had been peering around, he prayed you would pass him. But it seemed like his luck had ran out. You rounded the corner and paused only once you passed him.

In a hushed tones you said. “It’s not nice to eves drop Eddie. “ Then hooked your plush arm in his stiff one, dragging him further away from the still seething Jason.

Eddie's mind was whirling. Not only had he heard a conversation, mostly revolving around him, he had also been exposed to so much new information. You had never mentioned that you and Jason had a past, though now that he thinks about it Jason and his cronies had never targeted you. Which usually anyone second or even third hand involved with Hellfire was laid into. On the other hand, it seemed like you wanted nothing to do with Jason, past or no past. Also what was that remark about you having feelings for him. You may not have said it out right, but you also didn't rebuke it…

An arm touched his shoulder. “Huh?” It wasn't the best reaction in this situation, but it would have to do.

 “Eddie, have you listen to a thing i’ve said?” You heaved out a sigh, but a soft smile sat on you lips. 

 If there was one thing Eddie was good at it was watching you, your lips were just one perk of that hobby. “Would you be mad if I said no?” He played it off as a joke and was relieved when your smile widened.

“I could never be mad at you Eds.” You said it so easily, but Eddie didn't think that anything could make his heart beat faster.

Your smile wilted and you continued. “I’m sorry you had to hear that, but Jason just needs some sense knocked into him sometimes.”

 Just as you reached the school exit Eddie whirled around, taking a hold of your shoulders, he balked. “When were you going to tell me you had moves like that by the way. You went all karate kid on him! “

Both of your smiles widened at his reaction. You took his hands in yours and held them between you. “Well with all the weird things that go on in this town, I started taking kick boxing classes. So you know, a girl isn’t out there all defenseless and such.” Your soft cheeks had become pink by the end of you explanation.

Bringing your hands to his chest he smiles at you with a soft expression. “Just when I thought you couldn't get more amazing, you go and pull this on me.” Eddie took a step closer and ran his hands up your arms.

 Right as Dustin slammed the exit doors open. “Oh thank god, we’ve been looking all over for you guys.” He then procedes to use his walkie headset to let the others know you and Eddie were safe.

You perked up at the concern and stole his hat to ruffle his hair. “Of course we’re fine goober. You think i’d let anything happen to Eddie? “ You put on his hat on your own head and turn it backward. “ What do you thing I go to classes for! “

A large smile spread across Dustins face at the reminder. “Yeah, you're right. Eddie you should see her! I’ve sat in on a couple of the classes and she kicks so much ass!” 

At his exclamation you smacked his shoulder. “Hey, don’t let mom hear you say that. She'll think you learnt it from me. “ This was followed up with a noogie and Dustin yelling uncle.

Eddie disappointment was quickly exchanged for laughter. You guys may have your ups and downs, but you were the most functional siblings he had ever met. Catching up to your play fight, he slung an arm across your shoulders and walked you both towards his van. “Ok, if he got to see you in action then I need to see this. Where's my invite?”

You looked up at him through your lashes and he almost couldn't handle it. “There's actually a class tonight. I can show you the ropes, if you want that is.”

“ Not even a hellhound could stop me. “ And Eddie didn't think he could make a truer statement.

[seoafin]

honestly I just read the translation and now I don't think there's any way he's coming back. I really do think this was gege's attempt at writing a fulfilling character arc which made me realize that I've either been reading gojo wrong the entire time, or that gege makes baffling choices.

sorry if you don't want to talk about it anymore, but I always appreciate your input

hmmmm don't get me wrong i don't think it's out of character at all for gojo to have empathized with sukuna during the battle (for sukuna to have been the one person gojo could empathize with), or for gojo to have been craving the challenge that came with fighting sukuna his entire life to fill the gulf that has always existed between him and others. gojo understanding sukuna on a level that nobody else does and feeling seen by him before dying satisfied is something that I could've been on board with had the circumstances of the fight been different. gojo being bored and being a jujutsu sorcerer for his "own means" (which nanami and haibara call him out on) (and nanami acknowledges he doesn't understand but still supports him) instead of having a selfless reason to fight and the gojo that wants to change jujutsu society aren't not inherently at odds which is why i don't think ppl should focus on one or the other but instead on gojo as a whole. i actually like the set up of the after life sequence and gojo's talk with geto and nanami and haibara. and in terms of enlightenment i think in a way gojo's death WAS enlightenment. we see nanami telling gojo that although he went "south" he threw his faith in the future and felt fit to be able to die without regrets, and i don't think it's much of a reach for me to say gojo feels the same way (which is why he yells it to yaga quoting his exact words to yuji the first couple of chapters) but it feels like things are missing. i think the death came at a bad time and it wasn't enough. i've seen ppl say that in a way it's good that gojo didn't mention the kids but i really think he should've in some way shape or form. and the thing about it is that it could've been SO GOOD. but it wasn't :/

i also i have a lot of thoughts on the reoccurring theme of 'love' as understanding and connection in the manga especially in regards to the strongest (sukuna and gojo) yorozu who says she'll show sukuna love and gojo who says love is the greatest curse but that's a whole other post tbh

[atamascolily]

princess tutu re-watch, episode 20

Fakir: Because we are all participants in a story, if I randomly select books, one of them will be the right one, because that's how stories work, right?

Fakir: … except all the endings are missing. What on earth could this possibly mean?

Me: I dunno, maybe you should WRITE YOUR OWN or something.

Then a new girl shows up (!!) and kisses Fakir on the cheek (!!!!) and suddenly he has bigger problems to deal with.

Fakir: Damn it, the childhood best friend romantic subplot is kicking in at the worst possible time!

Lilie yelling "Ahiru, you musn't look!" then twisting her head in that direction of Fakir and the new girl is hilarious.

Pike: Ahhh, he's hideous when he smiles, who knew?!

Due to circumstances outside her control, Duck ends up third-wheeling along back to Charon's place.

The new girl (whose name is Raetsel) asking Charon if Uzurua is his kid and Fakir and Charon both shaking their heads is delightful. But we cut to Uzura sitting on Charon's lap probably to keep her from mischief, so he does care about his weird puppet-child-creature.

Fakir: Raetsel is my older sister. My surrogate mother. I cannot emphasize this enough.

it turns out Raetsel is crushing on Charon, but he (correctly in my opinion) thinks she's too young for him

Raetsel: Oh, yeah, where Mytho? A family reunion wouldn't be complete without him.

Fakir (with a completely straight face): He's got dancing fever. Absolutely obsessed.

Raetsel asks Ahiru if Fakir is writing stories with the same attitude that most people reserve for drugs.

Ahiru: He can write stories that come true? That sounds like it might be useful, actually! THANKS FOR THE EXPOSITION, LADY!

Fakir (going to his trust horse for comfort): I just want to solve my problems by punching things, why does that no longer work anymore?

Horse: ....

Fakir then has a panic attack when Ahiru brings up the possibility he could save Mytho by writing

Fakir: NO! NO WRITING! ONLY VIOLENCE!

meanwhile, Mytho has swapped out the delicate "Waltz of the Sugarplum Fairy" for "Night on Bald Mountain" and scary crow choreography (croweography?), lololol

Raetsel arrives and Mytho, sensing weakness, immediately starts creepily flirting with her.

Rue, watching from the bushes: I have to let him seduce with other women so he'll be all mine someday. That makes sense… right?

love the shots of Fakir and Ahiru both hunched up with their knees to their chest, utterly miserable, and for the exact same reason

Ahiru asks Raetsel for advice, on the grounds that adults have their shit together, not realizing this woman is an emotional train wreck herself.

WHY IS RAETSEL STAYING IN THE MILLHOUSE OF ALL PLACES, I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. Does Kinkan Town not have inns or something?

Fakir's tragic backstory unlocked! Ahiru regrets everything! Although the framing is ambiguous as to whether Fakir's stories do come true, or if he merely believed that they did.

Mytho shows up and corners Raetsel because he is a creepy stalker

Mytho: You have two loves, and you can't choose between them, so PICK A THIRD OPTION - ME!

Raetsel: Yeah, okay, that checks out. Good thing I brought my wedding dress with me!

Princess Tutu discovers the ugly truth: not only is Raetsel an emotional mess, she also came to town hoping Fakir would write a happy ending for her.

Tutu: Your feelings are valid, but also there's a lot to unpack there.

Fakir: Mytho! Time to resolve this like MEN--by beating the everlasting shit out of each other!

Mytho: Sounds great, let's do it, even though you suck at not dying!

Fakir: You know, actually I'm going to count "not dying" as a success instead of a failure from now on.

The real Mytho emerges long enough to seize control and run away. Fakir stalks off and heroically returns to his desk to write a story--the hardest part, in my opinion.

Burning (heh) question here: do you think Ahiru gave the lamp spirit to Fakir for inspiration or do you think it's a completely different lamp on his desk?

Raetsel decides to marry Hans, which is probably for the best, as I have zero investment in this character or her relationship with Charon and cannot wait to see her GTFO of town.

Fakir: You know what, Ahiru? You were right. I think I'll give this writing business a try. How hard could it be?

Drosselmeyer: Oooh, those are fighting words! I'll believe it when I see it, hahahaha.

(bold words from someone who still hasn't finished their WIP, am I right?)

[madisonrooney]

2014 was arguably the most formative year of my life, so forgive me as i continue with posts about 10th anniversaries of things cuz anniversaries get me emotional and this year is a big one.

i dont remember the exact date, i wish i did, but some time this month marks 10 years since i started watching shake it up.

i rarely talk about this show, but it was deeply important in my getting back into disney channel. as ive talked about many a time, i didnt watch new disney channel shows, and even fell behind on ones i was already watching, around 2011-12 not bc i was actually growing out of the channel, but bc i felt like i was being forced out of it by my peers, in particular my abuser, and even once that situation had improved, the resulting depression didnt allow me the emotional energy to get into new shows for a while.

as i continued to recover, i decided to binge it leading up to my summer 2014 disneylans trip. binge watching it over a short period im sure is most of if not the entire reason it didnt have the same lasting impact on me that shows like liv and maddie did, but not only did i DEEPLY love it at the time, but it helped me take a big step in the direction of getting back into disney channel as a whole. my growing interest in liv and maddie was simultaneous with this, so i think all this happening at the same time was kismet. i even remember one night thinking "i cant decide if i like shake it up or liv and maddie better." obviously, that decision would be made soon enough, but like i said, i think had the circumstances been different, shake it up may have been even bigger in my life than it was. i feel like theres a parallel universe where it takes the place in my life liv and maddie has since had lol.

and disney channel coming back into my life carries more importance than just it defining a lot of my personality and interests to this day. it was the means by which i continued to move past my abusive friendship. she had made me feel like an embarrassment for enjoying these shows, and even specifically said about shake it up that she didnt want me watching it bc she knew i was gonna like it. so the more i fell in love with it, the more i felt i was gaining my individuality back.

other than helping me get back into disney channel overall, i think it had two other notable impacts, the first being seeing characters i enjoyed helped me identify those personalities in the people around me, like in my high school, and understand and read their emotions better (thats the undiagnosed-at-the-time autism for you). i remember a couple reminding me of deuce and dina and a classmate that i really wanted to be friends with reminding me of rocky. this would be one of the first of a number of shows to have this effect on me.

i also was just enamored with rocky and cece's friendship and, as cheesy as it sounds, it made me learn to value my best friend even more.

again, plenty other disney shows following this would expand and help me understand the world around me similarly, but this was the beginning of it.

so thank you to shake it up. although i don't shine a light on it as much as i do my other favorite shows, i don't think my disney channel fandom and relationship with the shows and characters i love, or even with the world around me and with myself, would be the same without it.

[astrowaffles]

So, from your blog, I know you dislike ships between underage and adults (e.g : Gojo/Yuuji, Sukuna/Yuuji, etc), right? But does it mean you also dislike age gap ships or if the underage characters are aged up, maybe? Like, what if in a fanfic, Yuuji is in early 20s and Gojo in his late 30s, it's not weird, right? (My own parents have 20 years age gaps, my mum met my dad when she was 22, and he was 42).

So, I want to give you this fic rec called "Dogs of War" by pseudonyme, with Yuuji in early 20s and Gojo in late 30s. It's so amazing! The story and characters are great! I was not a Gojo/Yuuji shipper until I read this fic (Still I'm a SatoSugu fan and shipper but I also multishipper, so 🤭).No OOC at all. There are bromance moments between Gojo and Geto (they're besties that know each other best). It's slow burn but so worth it ...Oh yeah, in this fic Megumi is 6 years old and so cute. Please read them if you have the time and sorry if you still don't like them...

Before I start, let me say: thank you for this ask! And please read my whole response. I'm not here to pass judgement, I only respond with my genuine opinions to participate in the discussion.

As a general rule, I don't like aged-up characters/ships. People age characters because they saw something in a minor that would be inappropriate to express about a minor - in this case, they saw an adult x minor relationship, knew it was wrong, and so aged the minor so it's morally "acceptable". I also have a very complicated relationship with all JJK ships so adult x minor has no chance.

However, I believe in keeping an open mind so I read chapter 1 of the fic. Here's why it will never convince me:

the fic itself is so far removed from the jjk world that it bears no resemblance to the actual storyline (obviously, it's fanfiction).

the characters are so changed that they are essentially no longer the characters of jjk - specifically, they no longer have the dynamics of the characters.

Let me explain:

A major reason why adult x minor is wrong is the power imbalance. An adult has inherent control over a child; they are not equals and so cannot enter equally into a relationship. This is especially true of JJK where all adult characters are mentors to the children, and especially true of Gojo who is their schoolteacher. This fic removes that imbalance by having them meet as adults with no connection to each other. Numerical age gaps are rarely the issue, maturity gaps are the problem (although I will say that dating someone in their late 30s is not advisable until you are at least 25!!).

Therefore, if you read this fic and enjoyed it, you are not necessarily a gojo/yuji shipper. You enjoyed their dynamic as two full-grown adults placed into a different world. Arguably they have a different dynamic to canon because the circumstances are different. For one thing, I feel bad for Yuji because he doesn't have Megumi as a friend in this universe! An AU like this does not apply to the actual media because everything has been changed. No matter what happens in this fic, it does not change Gojo & Yuji's canon dynamic nor the fact that they are teacher & student.

I would like to ask as a genuine question - do you truly ship canon JJK Gojo & Yuji? Or do you just like them because you liked how they interacted in this fic? I'm not here to judge you, I'm truly curious.

Having said all that, I honestly think I wouldn't ship them even if they were the exact same age in canon because JJK ships work best if they seem to be encouraged by the narrative - for example, satosugu and itafushi are both framed as destined pairs; one cannot survive without the other. Gojo & Yuji don't have that: they are friends but they aren't being pushed together by the story itself. I don't always choose ships by this rule but since JJK is driven by that kind of thing, it's hard to ignore!

Thank you again for the ask and I hope you get back to me on my question! I'm truly interested in this discussion.

[wanderlustt-615]

Riverview Speedway

Visited 11/19/23

It is advertised as the fastest 1/4 mile race track. In the beginning, it was a motocross track, but due to a freak accident, it was closed down. Shortly after, it was redesigned as a dirt track and then later as an asphalt track. With a banking of 21 degrees, there is little to no room to pass without a little rubbing of the bumpers, earning it the nickname of 'Little Bristol'.

I I couldn't find the exact date of the closure, but it happened sometime during the 2000s. There were several reasons behind the closure, but the primary one was its location. Being close to the Cumberland River, it suffered severe damages in 2010 floods, which were difficult to keep up and fix. It's sad that the place had to be closed down due to such uncontrollable circumstances.

FromFrom all the things I've read and gathered, there's no doubt that this track was the place to be on weekends, and it is deeply missed by drivers and fans alike. When I asked Eric Watson, who used to race here back in the day, what his favorite thing about racing here was, he said, "that's an impossible question." I feel like all die-hard race fans would say the same, but he added, "if he had to pick one thing, it would be the feeling you get when strapped in the car, coming out of the corner onto the track, in a car that accelerates so hard it takes your breath away."

While I walked the track I could only imagine how it felt racing here and could understand why it’s nickname was Little Bristol.

Although there were no No Trespassing signs, and the entrance wasn't blocked by barricades, I wasn't allowed to stay for long as a sheriff pulled up. I was expecting to get in trouble for being there, but it turned out to be a different situation. The sheriff was kind and wanted to know what I was doing there. He informed me that the owner doesn't allow people to visit and explore around due to past damages. I apologized for being there without permission. I just love racing, and when I found out about Riverview Speedway, I knew I had to go see it in person.

I enjoyed my visit here, but was disappointed to see broken glass windows and graffiti everywhere. The office, Tech Garage, stands, and even the booth at the top of the stands were covered in graffiti. Although the place is abandoned, it still holds sentimental value as it was once fans' home away from home. It would be great to see this track come back to life and be loved by people once again..

[pikahlua]

I think the main issue I have with your point about the League being murderers presupposes that if someone kills another person they should die as well

Then you are misunderstanding. It's not that they should die. This wasn't a punishment exacted by a court of law via due process. This was a cosmic fate. This is about how what goes around comes around. This was about the cycle of abuse and how abusers are often abuse victims themselves, and that conditioning doesn't absolve them of the pain they cause. Once you break the conditioning, you still have a lot to make up for.

Tragedies are stories in which the tragic hero has a fatal flaw, and the audience watches on as the hero continues to make mistakes that lead to their tragic fate, all of which could have been prevented at many points. Oftentimes the tragic fate is out of proportion with the actions that precipitated it. My personal philosophy is that people should be allowed to make mistakes (to an extent), that most mistakes don't need to be punished just to teach someone a lesson. But that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the literary device of a cosmic fate. It's symbolism.

I don’t think it’s fair either to hold Tomura (or Toga, although I think she’s probably going to live) to the same standards as Endeavor or Katsuki, who knew full well that what they were doing was wrong.

Katsuki is NOT on the same level as Endeavor here. Katsuki in many ways is parallel to Tenko. He was a child. His behavior was fueled by fear and misunderstanding. He learned his behavior from what society showed him was correct. He slowly learned that what society taught him was bad and sought to change and atone. And regardless, the point of using all these examples was to show how the story depicts the same concept in many different ways: harm caused is harm caused, no matter the circumstances. Even Aizawa acknowledges that Aoyama's betrayal was a situation with extenuating circumstances and how that still won't absolve the guilt he feels about his own actions. Even if something is a total accident, the harm needs to be addressed. I compared Tomura primarily with Stain for a reason.

Tomura was acting entirely based on ideas he had been given through severe indoctrination from the time he was five. He is no more to blame for what he did than Izuku is for wanting to be a hero. The insanity plea would have almost certainly been applied to him.

Sorry, I call bullshit. Tomura was absolutely able to understand the concepts of pain and fairness. He took the sides of all the victims who became members of the league of villains. He was clearly capable of empathy and sought justice for each person in the league who he felt was wronged. He knows what he's doing is wrong, but he thinks it's justified. He understands the concepts of retribution and vengeance. He just plays favorites when it comes to victims.

And you do realize that the insanity plea can still end in a punishment, just typically a different or lesser one? And that what's often assessed about such a plea is whether or not the defendant poses a potential threat to society? I have way more personal knowledge of this than you can possibly expect. Someone in my family committed a heinous act that was ENTIRELY justified and the entire community supported him for it. He got off on an insanity plea with certain restrictions and a big community service requirement. I've never felt good about it. I struggle constantly with whether or not I think justice was actually served in this case. Do you think such people who make these pleas are told "Don't worry about it!" and go on to live their lives with clear consciences? Many of them feel they must atone even if they were taken advantage of. And this is excluding any of my personal feelings about the way the system is.

It’s just wild to me that people think it’s okay for an abuse victim to die just because he wasn’t a perfect victim. The things Tomura does are exaggerated because it’s fiction and the stakes have to be that high, but a lot of his fans are reading the story through the lens of their own trauma, and a LOT of us related to Tenko because we also did things not because we were horrible evil people who deserved to die, but because we would have done anything in that moment to make the pain stop. And Tenko did these things for that same reason. I cannot see how anyone could argue otherwise.

"It’s just wild to me that people think it’s okay for an abuse victim to die just because he wasn’t a perfect victim." Okay. I didn't say that. You can keep on believing that's what I'm saying if you want, but it's not at all what I'm saying. I'm talking about literary devices. If Tomura's actions are exaggerated because it's fiction, his fate may be exaggerated for that same reason. It's not "okay (morally permissible)" for him to die, it's *tragic* that he dies. Horikoshi doesn't have to resolve all things in his story perfectly and in accordance with my beliefs and experiences. Even where I relate there are still major differences because I am not Japanese. All those people who read a bully victim into Izuku because they related with being bullied don't get to have the story suddenly cater to them either. All the people who cut off contact with their abusive families don't get to have Shouto go no contact with his own family or abandon them to their own devices. Maybe you will get what you want, and I will be happy for you if you do, but you're not entitled to it. Not everything is about each person who personally identifies with a character. It sucks, but it's true.

Furthermore, I don’t like the idea that Tenko is punished for being the hero of the villains. He doesn’t want to go back to how things were when he was little, playing with his friends then; he wants things moving forward to be better with his friends now. How that’s a bad thing that needs to be punished with death is beyond me.

I do not believe he was punished for being a hero to the villains, so we're in agreement here. I believe he was punished if anything for the harm he caused to the world.

I would be curious to hear what you have to say on “no forgiveness,” though, as I always assumed that it was more referring to keeping the villains accountable for their actions (which does not have to include death), or refusing to stand aside and let them destroy things (which also doesn’t have to include death), than it was about grudge-holding and refusal to have a relationship with their villains. Personally I always thought it would end with the villains and heroes being friendly with one another based on Ochako and Toga/Shouto and Touya, so I would be curious if it’s the “permit/allow” meaning of “I won’t forgive you” or the grudge-holding meaning.

I benefit for having a linguistic understanding of the word in question in Japanese. The term "forgive" can be very broad there. My reading of it here is that the pain caused by the villains' actions cannot be brushed aside. The victims won't be able to just will themselves to stop feeling hurt about what the villains have done to them. They won't be able to make the case that the rest of society should give the villains a pass for ruining so many lives. It's not a personal grudge/revenge thing. That doesn't mean the heroes couldn't live with those feelings alongside whatever outcome happens. Maybe the villains do survive, but they still would have to atone. What they've done cannot just be ignored.

I apologize if anything I have said above sounds harsh or clipped. I have had to rush a bit to write this response as spoilers have started dropping and I just can't devote anymore time to it. I wish you well!

uhm tbh tomura is a martyr at least from the narrative's pov. his character was there to show the mistakes from modern hero society that felt so safe on the outside and ''allowed'' afo to groom him into believing he was evil incarnate, or at least he represented that in the beginning. tomura's storyline also felt rushed with this ending (it was acknowledged that he never chose anything for himself and then.. ganbare izuku ^_^). the build up for izuku saving tomura also became a pile of nothing.

Do you know what a martyr is? I don't think you know what a martyr is. Especially because Tomura did not believe he was evil incarnate at the end there. His beliefs changed. Pretty much the opposite of a martyr. And I think it's a bit wild you think it's viable to blame all of society for AFO grooming Tomura, wtf? I don't think even Tomura believed anything like that. He hated that society wouldn't try to save him because he was deemed an undesirable.

And I keep seeing this idea that he "never chose anything for himself." You know there is no requirement that that has to happen, right?

But even allowing for that, of course Tomura chose things for himself. He chose to exact vengeance on AFO when he could have just faded away. He chose to be a hero for the villains, and it was acknowledged that came from something fundamental to him since childhood. Just because AFO had a hand in everything in his life since birth doesn't mean Tomura made 0 choices. You don't have to take AFO at his word, you know.

Y'all keep railing on ideas that you see as flaws in the story without a mind for that they may actually be features. You're just not willing to countenance the thought that Tomura's story may be a tragedy or have a bittersweet ending. I'm kinda shocked, because I really kinda dug that Tomura got one last hit in and that he let go of his hatred but still retained his identity as the hero of the villains. You do you, I guess.

Izuku's story is another matter, but it's also the most obviously incomplete at this time, so there's not much for me to do there but speculate.

[crowdomain]

Why Darkest Dungeon Is A Minimalistic Storytelling Masterpiece

Asa speaking! This is going to be a long essay-post, so buckle up! In case you don’t have enough time to read through all that, or you just don’t feel like it, here’s a TL;DR: Darkest Dungeon, although not story-driven, manages to tell you just enough about the characters and the circumstances to get you hooked, but not enough to clearly explain what exactly is happening, giving the players lots of ground for theories, while at the same time forcing no plot on the players. The best a player can do to understand the characters is collect the bits and pieces we are given and interpret them.

The Darkest Dungeon fandom is one of the wildest I’ve been in. Everyone has different interpretations for the same characters, and the headcanons (well, most of them) manage to uphold the integrity of the characters to a great degree, despite how random they can become. This of course owes to the way the plot is written and executed.

I admit, a big reason why I play games is the plot. I love myself a good story, with fleshed-out characters I can relate to, and having a story is a great way to keep me involved even if the game ends up being too hard, because I will push through in order to see where the story goes.

Darkest Dungeon is not one of those games. I originally wanted to play it for the art style and the memes, to be honest, and it has grown into so much more since then. I play when I’m bored, I play while chatting with my friends through Discord, and strangely enough, I play when I’m feeling too stressed (at least when my favourite character dies I’ll be stressed because of that and not because I didn’t pass my lessons). I think about the game every day, and it never ceases to amaze me, both because every mission is unique and because you can always find something new in the game, a new detail, or perhaps a playstyle you hadn’t thought of before.

This game is one of the most original ones I’ve seen. Many concepts are subverted or twisted and made into something spectacularly different than what you would expect. At the same time, the plot and the differences are not forced upon the player; a player who is in it for the gameplay can just go on and start assembling new teams to fight bosses without having to go through pesky cutscenes, and the characters are essentially nobodies, which takes away the worries of what would happen if they die. (In fact, I believe that this is one of the aspects that discouraged many players from playing the second game; the fact that, unlike the first one, this one is more character-oriented. I understand and respect that, no two people find the exact same allure in a game. That, however, is a matter for another day).

On the other hand is the player who likes the story. This player, a player more like me and Bedelya, can spend countless hours looking into game content, and still find new things to fuss about. (This may be because both of us love literature and giving meaning to everything, but I’ll get to that in an instant). Where the gameplay-oriented player may enjoy the Ancestor’s monologues before the bosses because they offer a distraction until the game loads or collects the journal entries to boast that they collected them all, the story-oriented player enjoys them because they offer a deeper understanding of the game’s world. They will read them carefully, and perhaps wonder when all these troubles began.

The story-oriented player, however, will not stop there. An inquisitive mind will wonder who these people are, what brought them to the Hamlet. A keen eye will notice that the stressed players’ lines are no mere filler text. Maybe a skill or two has some strange properties. A restless player in love with stories will try to give those little details meaning, and in turn, once they have their meaning, they will seek to perfect their understanding.

This is where the wonder of this game lies: even being given the least details possible, one can deduce the identities of the characters, their motives, their loves, their fears…

You begin the game with two characters: Reynauld and Dismas. You only know their names, their professions, and their skills, and the fact that something drove them to the Old Road, where they are to help the Heir reclaim the Estate. You open up Reynauld’s character sheet. One of his quirks is “Kleptomaniac”. With a little looking around, you learn that this is a behavioural disorder people might develop when under extreme pressure. This means that Reynauld had been in a stressful environment for a while.

You take your heroes to a mission. Dismas is stressed and becomes irrational. Many of his quotes seem to be about a woman he loved, who is now following him in the form of a ghost. These might be the ramblings of a madman, but he references similar –not identical, but similar- scenarios a lot of times, and you begin to wonder: are those bits and pieces of his past, a past he left behind?

A jester comes into your stage coach. This man carries with him a sickle and a lute. One of his skills, only one, has a dirk. This skill has low accuracy compared to the rest. It bypasses guard and drives him one rank forward. You execute the skill in combat. He seems like he’s putting his whole weight on the hand with the dirk. Even the grave robber, who uses her pickaxe only once, has it mentioned a lot of times; the blacksmith, the guild, even on her equipment, it gets upgraded alongside her far more used daggers. The jester’s dirk is nowhere to be seen. Something is off in this situation.

Next up we have the comics; each of the characters has one comic that depicts a part of their past, the one that played the most important role into making them the characters we know in the game. The catch: these comics have absolutely no words, not even as sound effects, like “slash”, or “bang”. One has to pay close attention to understand what is happening, and even then, many of them remain mostly unclear. Why did the antiquarian kill the wizard? How did the occultist get to the shrine?

Even something as small as the characters’ unique trinkets can say something about them. In the base game, the bounty hunter’s trinkets are mostly helmets, so it might mean that it is highly important for him to hide who he is. He also has two talons, which show an affinity for birds of prey, who kill swiftly and silently. He is shown, in his comic, to kill four men in a matter of minutes, and he has a whopping amount of 21 quotes comprised purely of three dots, showing silence, and 14 more with non-verbal sounds. Then, you get to his Crimson Court trinkets: a vengeful kill list, which means that there are people who have wronged him, and a collection of teeth, which means that he keeps trophies from his victims, which, being a bounty hunter, could mean that he needs to show proof of his work, or, if he’s been killing for a long time, that he has developed a serial killer urge, and that removing the molars from his victims is something he feels the compulsion to do. Perhaps it is both. Then, there’s his quote for the Crimson Court set: “They Will Pay”. We know for sure that someone wronged him, but we know neither what happened nor the identity of the offending party, or how many people they were.

It has become clear that this game offers huge amounts of information, while at the same time offering very little. In my opinion, this also makes it extremely fleshed-out and realistic. You meet those people who came here for work. You only know what they do, not who they are, but their words, the items on their person, the way they move, they are the only things that let you get a glimpse into these people’s desires, ideals and worries. You are a cold employer, or a nonchalant colleague; you do not know who they are. You are only interested in their qualifications and in keeping them in good shape, so they can serve you better. There are no guides to tell you of these folks’ past, no in-game flashbacks to tell you why they are who they are. The only way to learn about them is to study them, learn about them, perhaps even ask them about their past. The comics, if you’d like to take it that far, could be times when a character asks another about themselves, and they answer. There are no words, because that was a long while ago. There are feelings, hence the frequent appearance of the stress halo and the importance of colours, and they all see things differently, hence why each of the comics has its unique elements; the plague doctor’s comic is the only one illustrated like a guide to a procedure.

I enjoyed talking about this subject. It’s been on my mind for a while now. Perhaps those are some far-fetched ideas of a person with lots of curiosity and the desire to find meaning and explanations in everything. Perhaps all this is too much and false. Perhaps Red Hook really did intend to hide all those details and have players find them out. I don’t know for sure, and I won’t know until I ask.

I would like to thank a Tumblr post I saw a while back for bringing the Dirk Stab’s stats to my attention. I do not remember the blog I saw it in, sadly, but I would love to find it and give it proper credit. I would also like to thank one of my friends, who made me realise that, even though you start the game idealistically (“Oh no, look, my highwayman Caen got masochistic, time to get him to the gambling hall!”) you end up becoming quite the mean boss as you see that you can’t keep everyone in good condition (“Oh, my antiquarian got a creeping cough again? Who cares, she doesn’t attack anyone. What’s her name again?”). Lastly, if you got this far, I’d like to thank you, for sitting through this essay and listening to my ideas. Give yourself a pat on the back and a cool glass of water!

[firelxdykatara]

ppl love to forget that katara: 1. has her own taste, 2. developed around aang, he needed her for his development and vice versa, 3. ZUTARA IS SHIP BETWEEN AN OPPRESOR X OPPRESSED!!! Ignoring all of the development they had with their respective partners and the trauma Zuko caused Katara!!

In the infamous words of one Luke Skywalker: amazing. every word of what you just said was wrong.

It’s actually kind of ironic that you bring up Katara’s taste, since, throughout the show, we have examples of the guys she likes, to greater or lesser extents in canon--Jet (explicit romantic feelings on her part, word of god that jet was her first kiss--a kiss that would have been consensual, incidentally, something you should keep in mind for later) and Haru (she denies the crush, but that could just as easily have been because of the abomination he’d been growing on his lip rather than denying those feelings ever existed), both of whom have much more in common (in terms of both emotional and physical maturity, and physical appearance) with Zuko than either of them has with Aang.

Zuko’s book 3 hairstyle is almost exactly reminiscent of Jet’s, even, if not quite as floofy.

(This is probably in part because of Jet’s function as a foil of Zuko within the narrative, particularly given their book 2 encounters, which I think just further solidifies my point that, were it not for extenuating circumstances [like the fact that Zuko was introduced as an enemy and they had significant obstacles to hurdle before they could be friends], Zuko would have been exactly Katara’s type. Had they met under different circumstances, she could have been the girl he went on a date with in Ba Sing Se. Just something to think about.)

So, yes, we’ve established that Katara has her own taste. Her tastes seem to be boys with great hair who are taller than her, the same age or older, and of a similar maturity level.

Aang falls short (heh, short) on all counts. So it isn’t Katara’s taste in boys that led her to be interested in him. Hm!

Next, you claim that Katara ‘developed around Aang’--that she was necessary for his development, and that he was necessary for hers.

Let’s take a moment to examine that, shall we?

I will absolutely grant you that Katara was necessary for Aang’s development--only to a point, of course, but we’ll get to that later--but was he really necessary for Katara‘s growth? I suppose I could grant you this on a generous technicality--he did, after all, provide her with the means to finally leave the South Pole and find a waterbending master to teach her (although she wound up largely self-taught anyway). But that had nothing to do with his relationship to Katara and everything to do with the structure of the plot--Katara and Sokka find Aang (and he never would have gotten out of that iceberg without Katara’s own righteous anger, so even that leads back to her own power), and then they go on a quest to find teachers for the Chosen One and save the world.

The story could not have begun without first finding Aang and then providing means for the other main characters to travel with him (or, in Zuko’s case, chase him), but this has nothing at all to do with Aang’s relationship to Katara. Aang was not a mover in Katara’s developmental arc--if anything, he acted as an obstacle more often than not, his actions ranging from innocent but obnoxious (playing and flirting with girls rather than helping with chores like picking up vital supplies, leaving Katara to do all of the quite literal heavy lifting and keeping her stuck in the role of caretaker that she’d been thrust into following the death of her mother), to deliberate and harmful (hiding the map to Katara and Sokka’s father, a truly selfish action, regardless of his lack of malicious intent, and one for which he never actually apologized), to somewhere in between (”she didn’t really mean that” he says to the man refusing to train Katara because she’s a girl, when yes, she very much did mean that, and Aang was no help in finally getting the old codger to eat his words--Katara had to shove them down his throat her own damn self).

While Katara’s overall arc wasn’t exactly big and dynamic (like Zuko’s redemption arc), or in-your-face (like Sokka getting force-fed Respect Women Juice and his eventual growth into a tactician and leader), it was very much present and woven into her character--and Aang had almost no part in it. He provided her with the means to get to the North Pole, but left Katara alone to fight the patriarchy herself. He messed around while Katara took it on herself to do the chores and keep the Gaang alive, but he did almost nothing to decrease that burden so she could grow out of the caretaker role. (Contrary to popular shipper claims, Aang didn’t actually teach Katara to have fun. She already knew how to have fun. But she couldn’t indulge, because she had a responsibility to her family and her tribe, and later to her brother and Aang and Toph, and Aang goofing off and trying to get her to do the same only added to her burdens rather than subtracting from them.) He provided Katara with the necessary motive to learn to heal herself, but he certainly didn’t seem to learn from the experience of accidentally burning her, preferring instead to claim he was never going to firebend again, despite already knowing, at that point, that he was going to need to master fire along with the other elements to become a fully realized Avatar and defeat the Firelord.

He didn’t help Katara keep them alive during The Desert. (In fact, he ran off, leaving her to desperately try to keep Sokka and Toph from succumbing to the heat while worrying for his safety.) In The Painted Lady, Katara makes the decision to stall the Gaang and do what she can to help the Fire Nation villagers on her own--Aang agrees to help her when he finds out, but he wasn’t actually instrumental in her making that choice. The Puppetmaster was, again, Katara finding a master of her own, and having to deal with the fallout from that. And in The Southern Raiders, Aang was--perhaps unknowingly, if I’m being generous, because he is a child and could not reasonably be expected to fully understand the implications of what he was asking her to do or why it was impossible--actively impeding Katara’s development! She desperately needed closure, something he could not understand and actively belittled and dismissed. The only reason he relented in the end (but not without a condescending ‘I forgive you! Does that give you any ideas???’ parting shot lmao) was because Katara was planning to take Appa anyway, and letting her go (and hoping she’d just magically wind up doing things his way) was easier than trying to fight her on it.

While Aang’s existence was necessary for Katara to start down her own path, she needed neither his guidance nor his approval to follow it--and absolutely nothing would change about Katara’s arc if you removed their romantic relationship entirely.

Possibly because the only changes needed to do so would be to remove the two times Aang kissed Katara without her consent (which, hopefully, no one would actually miss), and the epilogue kiss (which was awkward and unnecessary to begin with, since ending the entire show on a romantic kiss as the final shot kind of missed the point of the story to begin with, but that’s another discussion). None of these kisses (which are the only moments in which Katara’s feelings for Aang are so much as addressed; do note that addressing them, or hinting that they needed to be, is not the same as saying she exhibited any sign of reciprocating them) altered anything about Katara’s behavior, her personal arc, or (and perhaps most critically) her relationship with Aang.

It’s that last point that is really damning, as far as ‘Katara obviously had feelings for Aang, she kissed him in the finale!’ goes. Because she didn’t ‘obviously’ have feelings for him. And the fact that he kissed her before the invasion and then she forgot about it (she literally had no idea what he was talking about during the play’s intermission until he reminded her that he’d kissed her) is pretty clear evidence that she didn’t actually have feelings for him. Not the kind he had for her.

I’ve been a teenage girl. I know what it’s like to be surprise!kissed by your crush. And I absolutely for a full fact know that I had not completely forgotten about that kiss three months later and had, in fact, spent most of my waking hours thinking about it and remembering it and trying to talk to him about it. Now, granted, I was not in the middle of a war, but even if I had been, I doubt I would have needed reminding about the fact that the boy I’ve supposedly been developing feelings for had kissed me and showed clearly that he had those feelings for me too.

At the very least, if Katara was harboring feelings that she was worried about approaching until after the war, her relationship dynamic with Aang should have shifted. But it didn’t. She acted the exact same way with him after the Day of Black Sun as she did before it--that is, as a mother figure and a caretaker, responsible for his wellbeing. (And it’s clear she never took him down off the pedestal she needed him to occupy, either--let it not be said that the unhealthy aspects of their relationship only went one way.)

And book 3 is, incidentally, where Katara went from being vital to Aang’s development to being detrimental to it--or, rather, Aang’s refusal to let go of his attachment to her (despite ostensibly having done as much at the end of book 2) was. Because despite having been told by, perhaps, the greatest authority left in the world on Air Nomad culture (even more than Aang, who had left his temple with a child’s understanding of his culture that was never able to mature because he got stuck in the ice berg while his people were wiped out) that he had to let go of his possessive attachment to this girl who never even expressed the possibility that she might harbor romantic feelings for him to begin with, after Azula killed him and Katara brought him back, he went right back into the mindset of Katara is mine, it’s just a matter of time.

And the narrative validated him for it.

Notice how, during Ember Island Players, Aang says the following (emphasis mine):

“We kissed at the invasion, and I thought we were gonna be together. But we’re not.”

First of all, if you go back and watch the scene, it’s clear it wasn’t a mutual kiss. Aang sprang a surprise kiss on Katara, which left her shocked and unhappy after he flew off. (The decision to have her looking away and frowning was a deliberate one on the part of Bryke, who wanted Katara’s feelings kept ambiguous. Heaven forbid you allow the animators to make it clear that this fourteen-year-old girl who was just kissed without her consent by someone she’d never once demonstrated romantic feelings toward might actually have some. Heaven forbid she have a little agency in her own romantic narrative. But whatever.)

Second, he says he thought they were gonna be together.

He thought.

He never once even asked Katara what she thought--or even how she felt. He just assumes. He assumes that if he kisses her, she’ll kiss him back and they’ll get together. He assumes that she must have feelings for him, even though her body language is closed off and she told him with her words that she did not want to talk or think about this right now, and kisses her regardless of those signals, upsetting her and leading her to storm off.

And the narrative rewards him, because despite the fact that they don’t have a single significant scene together after that second disastrous kiss, Katara just decides off-screen that she Does Love Him Really and walks onto the balcony to make out with him.

The upshot of all this being that, while Katara was indeed instrumental to a lot of Aang’s early growth and development, Aang was not necessary for her own arc, and their romantic relationship (such as it was) actively hampered Aang’s development in book 3, while removing it would change absolutely nothing for Katara (except saving her from some painfully embarrassing memories).

As far as your third point, I’m simply not going to get baited into explaining how reducing Zutara to an ‘oppressor/oppressed’ relationship is not only insulting to interracial couples irl (not to mention any other couple with a potentially unbalanced dynamic of societal power, since there are many more axis of oppression than just racial), but demeaning to Zuko and Katara, their personal arcs as well as their relationship development together.

However, I will point out that Zuko was not responsible for any of Katara’s trauma. She did not find violence and fighting in bending battles to be traumatic--in fact, she reveled in it. She enjoyed fighting against Zuko at multiple points (especially noticeable in their battle at the end of book 1), because she wanted to fight--she always had--and once she had the ability, she was ready to throw down with anyone who gave her the slightest reason. (Including, by the way, her own potential waterbending master.) Aang’s death at the end of book 2 was Azula’s doing, and while I think that contributed to Katara’s extreme reaction to Zuko joining the gaang, it was not something for which she actively blamed him, and it wasn’t something she believed would be repeated--she let him go off alone on a journey to find the original firebending masters with Aang well before she chose to forgive him. So she already trusted Zuko’s intentions and that Aang would be safe with him.

Finally, because this has gotten long enough already, I hope you now understand that Zuko and Katara getting together would not require ignoring any of their development with their canonical romantic partners. We’ve already established that Katara’s arc wouldn’t change in the slightest if all of Aang’s romantic advances were removed, and I haven’t even gotten into how Mai meant nothing in the grand scheme of Zuko’s development because I’m pretty sure that’s just self-evident. I mean, the video compilation put together by Nick showcasing Zuko’s journey throughout the series doesn’t include a single scene with Mai, though it does include several with Katara, and even Jin makes an appearance--because Katara, and even Jin, played key roles in Zuko’s personal journey, while his relationship with Mai happened entirely off-screen and her only real function was to showcase just how unhealthy trying to force himself back into the role of the Crown Prince was for him.

What development, exactly, is there between them to even ignore?

At any rate, I’ve gone on long enough--I hope you enjoy the fact that you activated my wordvomit trap card right when i was about to go to bed, anon, because I just spent two hours writing this instead. In case you’re interested in the TL;DR: at the end of the day, there was no meaningful, mutual development in Kataang’s romantic relationship, and those romantic feelings that did exist were largely one-sided and ultimately detrimental to Aang’s development in the final third of his overall arc. Meanwhile, Mai meant nothing to Zuko’s journey--rather like Aang’s romantic overtures, she could be removed from the show completely and nothing about his story would change--while Zuko and Katara were both vital to each other’s overall storylines, arcs and development. This, coupled with the fact that Zuko never actually traumatized Katara and, in fact, helped her achieve closure from the biggest source of her own trauma, means that Zuko and Katara have better and more believable build up that could potentially lead to a romantic relationship than either of them have with their canon romantic partners.

So no, anon, I didn’t forget anything--I think you may have, though. Perhaps a rewatch is in order? Make sure not to close your eyes for the back half of book 3 this time.

[troquantary]

Cutting Hair as Punishment in the Twilight Saga

Okay, I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts around this into a sort-of-essay format for a while, because I find it disturbingly mean-spirited: Meyer has a pattern of using hair-cutting as a form of punishment for characters, especially female characters, who fail to embrace Bella and the Cullens with open arms. I’m talking particularly about Leah and Lauren, both of whom, while not outright antagonists like Victoria or James, are situated along with Rosalie as “against” Bella throughout the series. The Quileute pack, meanwhile, is situated largely “against” the Cullens, meaning Jacob and the rest of the pack get the Haircut of Shame, too.

(Also, I’ve been creeping through @panlight ‘s blog because I thought she had a recent post relating to this -- I was probably thinking of this submission and her addendum, which does discuss Meyer’s “punishment” of certain characters, but that post was about characters suffering for not waiting for True Love, or daring to do the Devil’s Tango before marriage. Still, it’s on-theme and very much worth reading, like all her stuff!)

So here’s the general outline: first I’m gonna talk about the shapeshifters and how their overall lack of choice frames cutting their hair as something forced on them and therefore punitive. Then I’m going to discuss Meyer’s FAQ response where she reveals that Lauren was tricked into cutting off most of her hair over the summer before New Moon, and how this adds an extra fun misogynistic element to the hair-cutting theme with respect to Lauren and Leah. I also use way too many words to do it, sorry.

Punishment | The Shapeshifters Are Given No Other Option

I don’t have the background or knowledge to discuss the significance of long hair to indigenous culture and identity in detail, and my understanding is that different tribes ascribe different meanings to it. What I’ve read it about it suggests that, generally, long hair represents strength of one’s individual spirit and of the community. It’s a source of pride, and is only cut off voluntarily in extraordinary circumstances, often as an expression of grief, or to mark a significant life change.

This sort of works in the context of the shapeshifters all cutting their hair -- phasing into a giant wolf, discovering the existence of the supernatural, and assuming the role of protectors is a major life event for these characters. But the negative associations make it a troubling choice on Meyer’s part, and that’s without even getting into the problem of her imposing her own worldbuilding onto the legends and culture of a real tribe. Because of the lack of choice involved in becoming a shapeshifter, the whole situation feels like a scenario in which the Quileute characters have their hair forcibly cut -- a degrading and traumatic act that (depending on their particular tribal belief) might symbolically sever them from their sense of cultural identity and connection with the rest of their tribe.

It all kind of begs the question: why does Meyer even have shapeshifting work this way? What narrative utility is there in having the length of their hair in human form determine the length of their fur as wolves, thereby compelling the shapeshifters to cut it so it isn’t a physical impediment? It’s another sign of the changes in Jacob, sure, but he’s already being uncharacteristically cold and distant, plus suddenly has the physique of a fit twenty-five-year-old; Bella already knows something’s very wrong. His short hair is just another jarring thing for Bella to notice and mourn, like the loss of Jacob’s “baby face” and general sunniness.

It does work as a symbolic thing, representing another sacrifice Jacob has to make and the change in how he now has to perceive himself -- but he’s already got a literal giant wolf form to represent that change in identity/self-perception. Forcing him to cut his hair too just feels like piling on. My argument here, which I hope will be supported when I discuss Lauren and Leah further in, is that it’s not just piling on, but actively punitive -- because much like Leah and Lauren are “against” Bella, the pack at large is “against” the Cullens pretty much through the end of the series.

The Quileute pack is definitely not a Cullen fanclub. The entire purpose of their existence is to destroy vampires, and the truce they have with the Cullens isn’t friendly. They still don’t particularly like or trust the Cullens even after allying with them in Eclipse, and in Breaking Dawn Sam is fully prepared to go to war against them to enforce the treaty. Bella expresses frustration with Jacob and the pack for not appreciating the Cullens more, yet is curiously less willing to scold Alice, Edward, or Rosalie when they call the Quileutes dogs and complain about their smell. (I think she might reprimand Edward for it at some point, but I don’t remember the exact passage.) Bella even starts throwing around “dog” and “mutt” as an insult herself -- I think we know whose side ol’ “Switzerland” is on, here, and whose side Meyer is on as well. The Quileutes aren’t exactly enemies, and in fact are crucial to the Cullens’ survival in both the newborn and Volutri conflicts, but they’re punished nonetheless because they aren’t wholeheartedly Team Cullen from the get-go.

So to explain why I’m so convinced that there’s a link between hair-cutting and punishment in particular, let’s talk about Lauren. There’s a definite gendered element to it this time, too -- by being tricked into cutting her hair, Lauren isn’t just diminished/shamed, but rendered (*thunderclap*) unfeminine.

Lauren Was Rude To Bella Like Twice, Let’s Humiliate Her

I think Meyer’s answer to the question “What happened to Lauren’s hair?” on her FAQ page speaks for itself:

Ha ha. I had fun imagining this one—I only wished that it had fit into the book somewhere. Lauren fell victim to the “model discovered in the mall” scam. An alleged modeling agent approached Lauren in a mall in Victoria, B.C., and told her she was a natural model. Lauren ate it up. The agent told her that if she did something edgy with her hair, and took some high quality head shots, her future was assured. Lauren followed the instructions—dropping fifteen grand on the pictures taken by the agent’s partner—and waited for her career to begin. She’s still waiting. Snort.

It’s pretty obvious that this was done spitefully. Here’s the list of Lauren’s crimes against humanity Bella at this point in the series: 1) she was jealous of the attention Bella was getting as the new girl; 2) she talked behind Bella’s back once, saying Bella might as well just sit with the Cullens now (and she isn’t wrong); 3) she eyed Bella “scornfully” the day of the La Push beach trip; and perhaps most damningly, 4) she’s blonde.

Post-haircut, she has the gall not to be thrilled that Bella’s deigning to speak to the lowly non-Cullens again, then sides with Jessica after Bella uses Jessica to make a point to her dad, is shitty company, and then risks getting them both raped and murdered in Port Angeles so she could get off on her hallucination of Edward’s voice.

I think it’s pretty common knowledge that long hair is tied to patriarchal notions of femininity and attractiveness. Women with short hair are still derided for being ugly, or assumed to be lesbians in a derogatory sense, or simply considered less feminine and therefore less desirable/worthy (because a woman’s worth depends on her desirability, after all). For many women and girls, losing their long hair -- whether because of illness, or gum getting stuck in it, or whatever -- is very upsetting and a hard blow to their self-esteem. Just look at Alice as an example of Traumatic Short Hair; her hair was shorn like that because she received electroshock “treatments” in an asylum. (Although in Alice’s case, I don’t think her having short hair is punishment, but a facet of the traumatic backstory all female characters in Twilight have to have for some reason. Plus, she started the series with short hair, which distinguishes her from the pack and Lauren, who were tricked or compelled into cutting their long hair during the series.)

But Lauren’s so bitchy, so she deserves it, right? Ha ha, she was mean to Bella and cared about her appearance too much, so now she’s ~ugly!

Leah Has It the Worst and It Makes Me Want To Burn Everything

The misogynistic aspect of hair-cutting as punishment is taken up to like, twelve with Leah. Not only does she suffer for being “against” the Cullens along with the rest of the pack (and Bella, too, so extra sinning), but she suffers uniquely for being the only female shapeshifter. A bunch of teenage boys regularly see her naked body against her will. Her previously devoted boyfriend imprints on her cousin/best friend, Sam dumps her and can’t even explain why, and the whole pack -- including her own brother -- resents her for being upset about it, even though she can’t help the lack of mental privacy. Because of that same lack of mental privacy, she has to hear every gripe the boys have about her, plus every enthralled thought Sam has about Emily while she’s still deeply wounded by their breakup.

She blames herself for her dad’s death, because she phased at the wrong time. We don’t get any indication that her fellow shapeshifters or the elders are trying to reassure her otherwise.

And of course, because she’s a shapeshifter, she has to cut her hair. In addition, because Leah’s a woman, this has the same misogynistic connotations as it did with Lauren. In Leah’s case, though, the de-feminization is compounded by her sudden infertility. It’s clear that Leah attaches her sense of womanhood to her fertility, rightly or wrongly -- she bitterly calls herself a “genetic dead end” in Breaking Dawn and thinks of herself as a freak. She feels like there must be something wrong with her, some un-womanly flaw, that made her one of the shapeshifters at all.

Then, just when Jacob starts to see her as a human being worthy of compassion, he imprints on Renesmee and doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything else anymore. No more bonding with Leah, no blooming friendship to help her heal and come to terms with the new realities of her life. (This is one of those dropped threads that aggravate me to no end -- what was the point of having Leah opening up to Jacob, or starting Jacob on the path of realizing he was being a dick to her this whole time and that she’s a person with  value, if he was just going to spend the rest of the book as Renesmee’s love-zombie and never think about it again? Disgusting.)

Leah was a lot more forgiving of Jacob than he deserved at that point in the story, for all the good it did her -- I think she’s mentioned maybe once in Book 3 of Breaking Dawn. At least she got her god-tier moment of yelling at a deranged, pregnant Bella Swan.

Speaking of Bella...

I’m just going to note, for no particular reason, that in Breaking Dawn we get to hear explicitly that Bella’s got hair that falls “almost to her waist” and that she looks like “a freaking supermodel” because she’s so “beautiful and pale.” It just strikes me as a telling contrast at this point.

[fallout-lou-begas]

A stealth trans reading of Arcade Gannon

When I say a “trans reading” of Arcade I’m not meaning to imply that I think he is literally hinted at or canonically trans in the text of Fallout: New Vegas, and I don’t even personally headcanon him as trans myself and if anyone else does that’s their own prerogative. What I mean by a “trans reading” is that there are several aspects of Arcade’s character that are translatable and comparable to the experiences and trajectory of a stealth trans man without necessarily relating to being trans in an explicit way. For example, I’ve derived meaningful transfeminine readings of Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman in Batman Returns, both Frankenstein’s Monster and the Bride of Frankenstein, and Christine Royce in a similar way, where these similarities are read without the intent to argue that these characters are “intended to be” or are “actually” or “should have been” trans in a canon, textual sense. It’s not that I think that’s not fun or not valid or anything, it’s just that that’s not relevant to what this approach is interested in doing.

I also feel like it’s important to explain what I mean by stealth. When a trans person is stealth, it means that they are passing or striving to pass as their gender full-time and have suppressed the visibility or public knowledge of their transition as much as possible, so that they may move through the world without anyone being aware of their status as a trans person. This mode of being almost invariably requires breaking contact with everyone you knew pre-transition, and for much of trans history, it was standard practice to move to a new, unaware town once you’d changed your name, gotten surgery, and passed a certain threshold of cis-passability to begin life anew in your new gender. People go stealth for a variety of reasons; in the past and to this present day it was largely to avoid transphobic violence and oppression, but individuals may also go stealth just because they do not want to be treated as a trans person but treated the way society would treat any cis person of their gender. Whatever the case, and as a general point, no one is entitled to the knowledge of whether any given individual is trans or not, and it is always a trans person’s own prerogative whether to disclose this information about themselves or not, and if so, how and to whom.

And so, we come to Arcade Gannon, formerly of The Enclave. By the time of Fallout: New Vegas, The Enclave is a beaten but still very much reviled enemy of the republic, and in multiple endings of the game, Arcade is liable to be hunted down, arrested, or even executed by the NCR for his status as an Enclave Remnant. Naturally, Arcade is extremely secretive and dodgy about his past, and disclosing his status to the courier as an Enclave Remnant after earning his trust is the fulcrum of his companion quest. Arcade is a very, very openly homosexual man, but despite this openness, many have related to Arcade’s secretiveness as resembling the proverbial closet that queer people inhabit before they are willing or able to come out publicly. However, I think that is precisely because he is out as a gay man but also so secretive of his past identity that makes his character arc more salient to compare to being a stealth trans man as opposed to the closet.

To be stealth is not to be closeted. Although both involve a concealment of identity, the reasoning for and method of concealment are different, and the closet loses its usefulness vis-a-vis being trans once you have already actually transitioned. To risk oversimplifying, when you are in the closet as a trans person, you are hiding what you are; when you are stealth as a trans person, you are hiding what you were. Because Arcade can possibly be so open about his sexuality (gay) but so secretive about his past (Enclave/trans), the stealth comparison trumps the closet comparison in terms of usefulness.

Because ultimately, when Arcade is refusing to divulge his past with the Enclave, what he is refusing to divulge are the circumstances of his birth, his upbringing, his childhood, the people he knew and the things he did before he became the Arcade Gannon who stands before you in the present day. The other Enclave Remnants are, essentially, the people he moved away from like the stealth trans people of old (and today) would, as they are the only people who would know at all about his “old self.” And as a transsexual I find this arc of Arcade’s very fascinating, in this way, since I can understand why his secrecy is so well-deserved, why his disclosure to the courier is such a massive gesture of trust, and why his wish to assemble the other Remnants is such a big risk.

To conclude, one can perform a stealth trans reading on Arcade by juxtaposing that which is translatable to the trans experience, his upbringing within The Enclave and subsequent secretiveness over that upbringing for good reason under fear of oppressive treatment, with his open gay sexuality. None of this is to objectively assert that Arcade is literally trans, or that The Enclave as a faction is some hamstrung queer metaphor—in fact, the juxtaposition with his open gayness is only compounded in this reading by that exact lack of explicit or intentional transness in his character, since if he was a canonically trans character, then the literal text of his transition would trump the subtext of his history in the Enclave as representing transness, transition, and going stealth.

What I wanted to demonstrate by doing this reading was, again, the ways in which certain characters or stories can be used as a locus for articulating trans subjectivity. It’s not literally about transness, but when we perform a trans reading, it’s like switching the audio track of a music video for a different song: if it has the same tempo then the dance is still on beat.

(note: my own subjective reading of Arcade in this way is not an observation of Arcade as “queer coded”; queer coding is an intentional effort by writers or actors or directors to suggest the queerness of a character without being censored and in my opinion has largely but not entirely lost its usefulness as an applicable term in the present day where open queer characters are ostensibly more permissible, and also this is Arcade we’re talking about and you literally cannot “queer code” a character who is actually openly queer lol)

[verryberriess]

Whatever This Is | Chapter 1

READ PROLOGUE HERE!!

Whatever This Is

Synopsis: In which Jude and Cardan meet again after seven years, but not on good terms.

thanks to @maastrash for helping me edit LOL!!!! :D

CHAPTER ONE

The last time I saw Cardan Greenbriar was seven years ago.

Today, seven years later, we were a mere few feet apart. I’m unsure whether to feel relieved or insulted at his lack of acknowledgement. Relieved that maybe he has forgotten my face and I could continue along with my life, undeterred and unaffected as ever. But insulted, because, maybe he has forgotten me.

“Are you ready to order?” The cashier startles me. I didn’t realize that the line had suddenly quickened in pace. He must be new, since I haven’t seen him around the Torre’s until today.

Thankfully, I respond with my usual order without thinking. The cashier nods and I fumble my purse in search of my wallet. I’m able to quickly spot my cyan-colored wallet and unbutton its strap with haste, fishing for my credit card from the compartment with my nail. The card is stubborn, in a tight space stuck to two other cards.

“Sorry,” I look up and flash the cashier a tight smile, embarrassment coloring my features.

The cashier responds in turn, his green eyes alight in amusement. “It’s alright. That happens to me all the time.”

I immediately return to the war against my card, which finally relents. I slam it into the card reader, chip in first. While the payment approves, I smile and say, “Thanks for your patience,“ peering down at his name tag to add, “Beckett.” He is handsome and new, and on another day I would try to get to know him, but I am in a hurry, so I walk from the bounds of the register and head straight towards the door outside.

The door swings open in response to my adrenaline and haste. I curse inwardly at the crowd outside of Torre’s that seems to have gotten even bigger. As I mutter “Excuse me’s” and sidestep around the large number of people, I inspect the streets for an absurdly tall head of iridescent midnight hair. I am quickly astonished to see that exact head right in the middle of the large crowd, showering the thrall of excited women with a crooked smile.

Cardan stands in the middle. While he keeps his hands at his sides, his posture is loose and his torso leans in to angle himself for a selfie with another woman. The woman presses her back into Cardan’s again. He doesn’t seem bothered by this at all.

I zero in on the changes in his features. He has gotten taller, his face more angular. His style has been perfected, dressed in a dark suit and decorated in gold rings and darks and blacks while the midnight black hair atop his head seems unruly and untamed, as if on purpose. All these years and he seems to have perfected perfection, looking more horrifically beautiful than ever. I have forgotten this obtrusive charm I had once been fooled by, and even after all these years I am disgusted at myself for still being reigned in, captivated.

But all of a sudden, for a few seconds, he turns his head away from his surroundings and regards me with his eyes, looking as if he were noting my presence with the same disgust, and then quickly looking away. The exchange was so quick, I had barely registered it.

Yet, as I stand at the outskirts of this group, I am reminded of the past, and how I have gotten over this already. I have replayed scenario after scenario of reunions in my head after the first few months of my departure, but I had never really anticipated some overly-large crowd separating Cardan Greenbriar and I by just a few feet.

A few feet that might as well be an ocean. Or two.

I can’t help but marvel at how we were once more than acquainted with each other. That look had reminded me that everything is over, that he wants nothing to do with me. Seven years could be more, if I refocused myself. I could do that, I reminded myself. Seven years could turn into forever.

A twinge of sorrow worms its way into my gut. I squash it.

I turn around. My coffee must be done by now and I want to head to work before I’m late. I suppose the sidewalk will take some weaving around and being late was not on my agenda.

My steps are forward. I make my way back to the door of Torre’s, pulling open the door to step in.

But a familiar voice, ringed with the same distinct tone of arrogance and authority that I haven’t heard in years, ceases any of my movements.

“You need to back up.”

My grip at the handle falters, and another person shuffles out on the other side. They thank me for holding the door for them.

Instead of responding, I turn back around and face the direction of where the voice had called. The atmosphere feels almost different. Where the women had once been gathered around him, they now stand at a distance, clearing for the space he had requested.

I watch one of them snap a quick selfie while he is in her background. She leaves the group right afterwards. My eyes move back to where Cardan is, but he is walking towards my direction, uncaring of the people around him.

I pull the door handle hurriedly and slip inside into the safety of Torre’s. The chatter and ambiance of the coffeehouse usually offer safe haven from San Francisco’s morning bustles, but not today.

I could feel his looming presence right behind me, about to catch up to my stride. I’m not about to do this right now. I don’t think I can.

The choice is ripped away from me, however, when a gentle grip takes hold of my wrist.

“Jude?” The voice is soft, a complete one-eighty from that of authority outside.

I still immediately. I first turn to check the surroundings, discovering that none of the women from outside have followed him in. Then, I glance at the hand which still grips my wrist. I try to shake it off. Cardan’s hold is firm, but he reluctantly lets go. He removes himself slowly as if he is unsure whether or not he should.

Taking a step away, he stands and shifts awkwardly. He is too tall now, absurdly towering over me. Where he used to be only about an inch taller, he is now a few inches above my height. He is no longer able to slouch against me without adjusting himself as easily anymore.

The distance between us is off-putting. Though traits like his height and broadness separate us physically from our past selves, it is the other changes in our approaches and personalities that further highlight the obnoxious tension between us.

Why he suddenly acknowledges my presence is a mystery to me. Why he is here astonishes me. I am unsure if fate is cruel enough to have forced us to meet in this kind of circumstance, or if this was a making of pure coincidence.

Cardan stares at me with some deep intensity. I want to be rid of his scathing stare, grab my coffee, and disappear from this whole ordeal. Pretend that this stain of an encounter had not been inked upon seven years of spotless script.

“Cardan,” I say stiffly. Once acquainted, but now strangers. I am hesitant to say more, despite all the questions that rage within my mind and my wickedly cursed heart. Everything about this is full of uncertainty and unpredictability. A type of situation that I am not entirely familiarized with, since plans and strategy have always ruled my life. It is frustratingly tiresome.

Cardan eyes the row of occupied couches, and later the arrangement of empty rustic tables and chairs. He gestures out to the seats, “Why don’t we find a seat? I imagine that we have much to catch up on.”

I secretly consider his offer, but my brain votes to think of ways to escape his reach. Before I can make a decision though, I am led away to an open table. I am reluctant to make this encounter any longer than it should be, but I decide that I should at least gain some reasoning for his recent presence.

“I’m glad you’re so eager to see me again. After all, it’s been so long.” Cardan resumes his usual nonchalant character. “What an extraordinary coincidence running into you here.”

For a moment, I remark on his wording. I am glad that this turned out to be an occasion of pure coincidence.

Concern or indifference? I decided on the latter tone to respond with. “Yes, it certainly has been a while. But considering how we left things, I’m surprised that you even want to be near me.”

He raises an eyebrow and the corners of his mouth lift slightly. “Considering how we’ve left things, I’m surprised you’ve let me into your vicinity.” It doesn’t look like it, but the small twinges in expression reveal that he is thinking of what to say next. I am about to retort back, but what he asks next catches me off guard as he continues, softly, “Why did you leave for so long?”

My cheeks heat. At this, I am suddenly hyper aware of how close he is, of his overwhelming heat despite the violent cold that rages outside, and how he almost whispers his question, with a compelling mix of rasp and seduction. He towers over me, as if using his height to shield me from the world like he has done so many times those years ago, but in this instance, it feels as though he is also looking for something. Cardan is cautious though, leaving room for retreat.

If I am not careful myself, I imagine that I would fall into his chest, and take advantage of the closeness that I had secretly yearned for nearly a decade. Seven years be damned, my focused mentality would dissolve into dust.

I announce my resolve by taking a step back. The distance between him and I is lengthened. Although my heart curses at me, my mind is indiscriminate. I hadn’t expected this conversation to go about this way. Though, I also didn’t know what to expect. Everything was unpredictable at this point and many things have changed. I didn’t know what response he wanted, because he should’ve known why I left.

“... Because of you.” I say gruffly. I leave little context, wanting him to fill in the blanks.

For a second, a mixture of hurt and surprise leaks into his expression before it is masked again. In that second I can’t help but relish in a small sense of satisfaction that I had got to him. Hurt for hurt. An eye for an eye. Whatever game he is trying to play at this time will not rouse a fraction of feeling from me. Not again.

“I see.” Again, Cardan contemplates. He does not show anything, but his eyes start to roam around us, like he is taking in the coffeehouse setting again as if he wasn’t just here only a few moments ago.

“Excuse me?” The green-eyed cashier from before stands in front of us.

He looks between Cardan and I. Cardan, in turn, twists to the direction of the abrupt voice, and slowly assesses his form. I watch his eyes trail up and down the cashier’s physique, his face contorting in judgement before glaring at him, clearly annoyed by his abrupt intrusion.

Beckett turns to me instead, smiling brightly. His dimples deepen and his white teeth flash to me. He holds out a branded cup of Torre’s. “Hey, Jude right? We called out your name earlier, but I don’t think you heard us. I thought I’d bring your coffee to you before it got cold.”

“Thanks so much, I almost forgot.” I take the cup from him and gently set it down at our table.

“Of course.” Beckett still hovers over us, his attention only towards me. “Andrea told me you were a regular here. I should have known.”

“Yes, I come here often. But it’s okay, I noticed that you’re new here too. And it’s Beckett right?” I ask.

Beckett replies, “Yeah, it’s actually my second day.”

Beckett hovers over us. I notice that he is handsome, with close-cropped blonde hair that is slightly grown out. His green eyes twinkle as he observes me in return. He is well-muscled and tan from what I could see of his arms, which are mostly covered by his gray, long-sleeved uniform.

I take a quick glance at Cardan. His fingers tap the tabletop in a particular rhythm as he watches the exchange between Beckett and I.

“Well, I better get back to work now. If you need anything else, check your cup.” Beckett smiles again and walks away.

I look back at the coffee cup and peer at Cardan who eyes its side, a murderous expression set upon his facial features. His eyes are cold and his jaw is clenched.

As I take the cup in my hands, I inspect the sticker attached to the side of the cup. A phone number written in scrawly blue ink is scribbled onto the light orange sticker.

“​​I didn’t realize hand-serving customers was a part of the job description.” Cardan remarks icily.

“Well,” I clear my throat. “At least he’s done something you didn't have the balls to do seven years ago.”

A/N: i haven't been here in a while... hello! let me know if you want to be put on the tag list lOL

[the-music-maniac]

Okay so, this post here https://multsicorn.tumblr.com/post/649671498154557440/i-believe-were-supposed-to-think-that-evil is actually what made me think deeper about this scene, and also what made me get off my butt to write about this, so go check it out! But I wanted to voice why a couple sentences in the english subs for Episode 21 of Word of Honor irked me slightly in the scene with Du Pusa and Liu Qianqiao, this one onwards:

Now keep in mind, my mandarin is serviceable for casual conversations, but I struggle more with formal language, so feel free to correct me if I’ve gotten translations/the feel of the scene wrong. I’m gonna go through the subs that I’m annoyed with and then explain why I think they’re inaccurate and important to the scenes at the end.

But basically, some of the translations for the Youku english subs lightened Du Pusa’s language when she was talking about the dude that betrayed Qianqiao (still don’t remember his name, so I’m gonna call him cheater dude). And the thing is, I really can’t think of a reason why they wouldn’t translate it entirely? Like is there a reason?

For example, this?

The subs say “this lady’s lover” and I can sort of understand why it’s translated like that, she says “她这个“ which is “her” implying ownership (”her lover” as an example). So ”this lady’s” is correct. But that’s not all?? She says in the second half “狗男人“ which translates literally to “dog of a man”. It’s an insult, and without it, the feel of the sentence is completely different.

The english subs also don’t exactly translate this. She didn’t say “she fell for” in this sentence, instead Du Pusa exact words are, “she was tricked into hand”.

Here too, she didn’t call Qianqiao pitiful (I think, there might be cultural nuance I’m missing so let me know if this one is wrong) and the exact translation is “only a pity that she was blind”.

Finally this one, I’m pretty sure “废物“ is harsher of an insult than loser. It literally translates to “useless person” or “a waste of space”. Now I don’t know which officially ranks higher between “loser” vs “废物“ in the level of burn across languages and cultural contexts, but in my mind, 废物 is harsher.

Okay, now with the scenes and translations explained:

So. The reason why I brought all of these instances up is because I think the wording Du Pusa used to explain the story is pretty important, not for plot reasons but just because it changes the feel of the interaction. The post I linked at the very beginning pointed out that Du Pusa is meant to be a character that basically taunts the women she fights with, with her superiority in beauty, etc., but while she does that, at the same time her character doesn’t have that feel of misogyny that I think is so prominent in media when writing women characters who dislike each other.

Granted, Du Pusa also insults Qianqiao, and that didn’t show up in translation either, she calls her “小娘皮“ in place of “lady” which is not exactly a flattering thing to say. But I think the important thing is that throughout the entire telling of the story, Du Pusa recognizes that in this situation, the person that messed up, and is mostly at fault is cheater dude, and she places the blame rightfully on his shoulders despite how she dislikes Qianqiao.

Particularly in the sentences “she was tricked into hand” and “only a pity that she was blind”, instead of “she fell for” and “only pitiful”. “She fell for” puts more responsibility onto Qianqiao’s shoulders, because she’s the one who fell in love with cheater dude and his sweet talk - that’s her business. But “she was tricked into hand” places more of the emphasis on cheater dude, on the fact that he sweet talked her into believing him, that she in fact was tricked, and not because she just simply fell for him.

(Now I’m not here to discuss whether cheater dude’s feelings for Qianqiao are genuine or not, or whether he purposely tricked her - I do think that he does care about her but that’s also not enough to absolve him of the shitty things he did. So I’m not very willing to be lenient with him here)

“Only a pity that she was blind” also places less of the blame on Qianqiao then the phrase “only pitiful” because pitiful as a word implies that Beauty Ghost herself is pitiful. That she’s a pitiful person who’s too dumb to notice that she was being tricked. “Only a pity” however leaves room for her to be a victim of circumstance, and implies that the situation was “only a pity”, not her as a person.

Finally the two harsher insults, I think are important because for once, a character like Du Pusa doesn’t leave the man relatively unscathed in her process of taunting another woman, and also doesn’t hold misogynistic victim-blaming views about situations like this. She’s fully acknowledging here, even as someone who doesn’t give a shit about Qianqiao, that cheater dude is kind of a piece of shit. You see that fully in these three scenes as well:

First the rolling her eyes at cheater dude’s explanations. I think that one is pretty self-explanatory, it gives me strong “oh god don’t make me laugh” and “cut the bullshit and shut up already” vibes, which I high key love.

Second, this one where she pushes him back, feels like she’s sick of hearing cheater dude’s excuses and his attempts to sweet talk Qianqiao again, and so she decided to interject. Also has a little bit of, “okay, get away from her, I’m sick of you” vibes.

Finally, Du Pusa has an incredulous look on her face, and then gives a huff of disbelief when Qianqiao sorta defends cheater dude, saying she’s the one who had bad intentions. This one gives me a sort of “really? You’re defending him?” vibes, especially since it follows her asking if Qianqiao’s brain is broken for actually trusting him a second time after what he did.

Anyways, this turned out to be a long analysis, but I just wanted to translate/talk about my thoughts on some of the subs, and my low key appreciation for this scene. It sort of feels like Du Pusa almost backhandedly defended Beauty Ghost - although I admit that might be going too far/giving too much credit since Du Pusa isn’t exactly going easy on her either, and she might just be listing things as she sees it. Still though, what I’ve always appreciated so much about Word of Honor is that it creates so many female characters that are compelling to watch and well-rounded; who feel realistic, who are their own people and have their own stories to tell, who aren’t killed off as soon as it’s convenient or just to reinforce the heterosexuality of the male leads, who are vital to the plot, and most importantly, act in a way real women might act, and aren’t all internally misogynistic and apologetic towards guys who act shitty.

It’s really refreshing to see a “bad” character in this show, who’s mannerisms suggest she’s a character that’s a woman who taunts women, do so without piling on deep-seated misogynistic accusations or halfway pandering to the man in order to create some misplaced “jealousy”, and instead manage to taunt people/hit people where it hurts and yet still...almost purposely calls the man out on the shitty stuff he did?

Anyways, overall I think this scene was a pretty cool dynamic to think about, and I appreciate it a lot (although I appreciate the subs a bit less, for obvious reasons).