#{ this says ..... way too much about my mental state lately }
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dukeofthomas · 5 months ago
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jason thinks he should be dead (sometimes he thinks he IS dead), he's just what crawled out of jason todd's grave but he IS jason todd why cant you see that im still the same person. but im not who i used to be and you have to accept i'm different now but i'm still the same bc i'm still your son and your brother and your friend but i'm not 15 anymore (but i am i never grew up i'm still stuck in that warehouse watching the seconds count down the joker is still laughing and i'm still in pain and broken and bloody and beaten and the warehouse is everything and i'm 15 i'm 15 i'm 15) i'm an adult now i'm not a sweet lil daddy's kid anymore i've grown up (i haven't. do you remember when i played with legoes? when we went to football matches togetehr? when you drove me to school and called me chum and smiled at me gently and put your hand around my shoulder and squeezed? i loved you.) when you look at me all you see is who i used to be, you don't see ME, you just see who i used to be and i can never measure up to that, i can never be as good or kind or gentle or loving as the ghost of me that lives in your brain, but when i look in the mirror my eyes are dead like a fish's and my corpse is still in the ground and i'm not breathing because my insides are decayed and gone but i'm still standing here like a zombie, like a bad dream, like a fraction of who i used to be because i'm dead and i'm 15 and i never grew up but i'm somehow still an adult and how dare you not see me for who i am because i'm still the same but i'm still different but aren't i your son? am i at least still your son? you took me in and you loved me and you cared for me and you were my father my god my everything? i'm still your son. i'm still your son. i'm still your son.
Do you love me? Can you prove you love me? Can you prove i meant anything and can you prove my death was real?
(I love you. Please say it back.)
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minimavampiress · 1 year ago
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𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐔𝐑𝐋 𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐒 . 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐍 , 𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐀𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐀𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐔𝐑𝐋
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𝐌 . maine - noah kahan 𝐈 . i wanna get better - bleachers 𝐍 . new perspective - noah kahan 𝐈 . i almost do ( taylor's version ) - taylor swift 𝐌 . mess - noah kahan �� . another life - motionless in white 𝐕 . vices - mothica 𝐀 . all my love - noah kahan 𝐌 . missing limbs - sleep token 𝐏 . paul revere - noah kahan 𝐈 . idontwannabeyouanymore - billie eilish 𝐑 . rain - sleep token 𝐄 . euclid - sleep token 𝐒 . snow angel - reneé rapp 𝐒 . save me - noah kahan
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tagged by: @carp3diems tagging: @guiltye , @stilesstylelinski , @boundforhale , @nat-muses , @ofblackskies , @sapphiredhearts , @haledwolf , @impulsivitytm , @stanfordprepped , @summersturned , @ofgcds , @localsalt , @soulessavicr , @westwingsolo , @remembcr , @rennisaturate
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nmakii · 1 month ago
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must be love
— you find sae’s phone opened, and you decide to snoop.
or; sae gets exposed for being a fake idgafer. this is too sappy. 2.7k words, this is my longest fic in my whole life… what life feels like as a girl who loves too much core
tags: @narcjsistx
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— for @itoshiluvbot. love ya, partner.
‘she seems really eager to please,
but she has quite the backbone.’
you huff out in frustration. “ah!! ugh…” you scowl. sae raises his eyebrow. “my groupmate never started on her share of the work… ugh, now i have to cram it..!” you explain your sudden outburst. sae scoffs. “then tell your teacher or something. it’s not like i can do anything about it, im not your teacher.” he, quite obviously, points out. “wh… ugh, i’m gonna… i just— needed to let out my anger.” you groan, face planting and screaming into your textbook. and he hums in response. although he didn’t show it on his face, your outburst was quite out of character for the person he had grown to know. it was… weird, to say the least. and it had caused him to make a mental note not to anger you.
‘her generosity knows no bounds.’
“sae, this is for you. merry christmas!” you hand him a wrapped box. “hm..? i don’t take christmas gifts.” he bluntly states. “i haven’t gotten any gifts since i was 10 years old.” you scoff to yourself. “maybe that’s why you’ve always got that stick in your ass.” you tease. “excuse me?” he glares daggers at you. “aaaanyway! open it!” you shove the box into his hands. he looks at the box, and then at you, and he decides to open it. “new cleats.” he acknowledges. yes, mhm. these were indeed cleats..! “i didn’t need these, i was going to buy them myself.” he states.
“i know, you could probably buy them yourself. but, i thought i’d save you the hassle, y’know?” how thoughtful of you. he eyes the cleats up and down; it’s an expensive brand, but it’s worth the price for the quality. “…thanks.” he says, at last. he didn’t expect a gift from you, he doesn’t have one prepared for you. he’ll make sure to buy you something you’ll love later. “oh! hold on, i wanted to give you some other things ♪~” you fish a keychain and envelope out of your bag and hand it to him.
“…cinnamoroll..?” he questions. “it’s cute right? i thought you’d like it.” what an odd way of thinking… never once has he mentioned anything about cinnamoroll. but then again, it is pretty cute. ��…well, i won’t say i hate it. thank you.” he thanks you as he eyes the envelope. “ah, don’t read it in front of me..! i got a bit sappy, it’s pretty. embarrassing…” you awkwardly laugh. “ah, got it.”
later that day, he opened the envelope. there was a letter; it had cute doodles all over. and, he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t feel your affection radiating off the letter. it was… really sweet.
‘what a beautiful human being she is.’
itoshi sae is what you like to call a shy lover, if you were to put it kindly.
you know for a fact that he loves you, he just isn’t good at verbally expressing it. words of affection are too sappy for him. he prefers to show it through the thoughtfulness of his gifts, and the longing touches of his hands, which seem to never leave your’s.
you know he loves you. but, you can’t help but wish for him to say it more often.
it wasn’t many nights lately that the two of you would have a date night. with sae’s rigorous training schedule and endless interviews, the only thing he wants to do at night is to fall asleep beside you.
however, today was the end of the season. meaning, sae would have much more free-time for you.
with sae’s last game for the year completed in 0-4, the first thing he had to do was call you. even though you weren’t far away at all, sitting in the VIP lounge with the relatives and girlfriends of sae’s teammates.
“s/o?” he calls your attention. “mhm? congratulations on your win, babe! i knew you’d win.” you congratulate him. “they could barely keep the ball when they had it. is it really an achievement for me to have won this match?” he says, almost sassily. “pssh— alright. i get it, mr. ‘tepid.’.” you tease.
“don’t call me that.” he huffs. “stay where you are. i’ll go to you.” he commands. you hum in acknowledgment, and he hangs up.
he doesn’t keep you waiting too long before showing up. “there you are…” he sighs in relief, kissing you as his hands automatically find themselves on your body— one tangled in your hair, and the other resting on the curve of your spine.
once he finds the will in himself to finally pull away, he’s breathless.
he looks like he wants to say something, but he holds himself back, his fingers flowing through your hair. “…get ready for our date later tonight, yeah? formal wear.”
you nod, and his lips curl upward. “i’ll see you later.”
you decided to go all out, pull all the brakes. and when sae picks you up in his car, he can’t help thinking that you look like a dream. ‘are you sure you aren’t a model?’ he muses to himself. his heart twists, and the fat of his cheeks redden with affection. your hair flows like silk, and that glimmer in your eyes was once a star, handpicked from the skies, he’s sure of it.
everything about you encourages him to keep staring, but he manages to get ahold of himself. “…you…look beautiful.” is the only thing he can get himself to say. but, beautiful doesn’t seem to encapsulate it, not at all. it’s not even close. beautiful is only a fraction of what he thinks. “heh, you think so?” you ask. “yeah; beautiful.” he assures. “let’s go.” he says, barely turning his attention away from you as he turns to the road.
the drive to the restaurant is quiet, but sae’s mind is screaming at him. his eyes can’t stop moving back to take sneaky glances of you. he drinks up your beauty like a serpent, and he still hasn’t had his fill.
“…we’re here.” he pulls the shift into its’ brake. he gets out, and hands his keys to the valet boy— his words are inaudible through the car door, but he quickly finishes his conversation and moves to open your car door.
you take your first step out, and his hand immediately moves to help you out. god, you might be even prettier under the gleam of moonlight, shining like the pearl of the planet.
his arm moves and snakes around your waist, guiding you into the restaurant under the flash of paparazzi cameras. he grimaces at the loud, pitchy voices of news interviewers, begging for a comment; anything for a headline quote.
the gentle touch of his fingers tighten, as he silently encourages you to walk faster, and lose the crowd. the two of you hurry up, and dash into the restaurant, where you’re greeted with a dim candlelight, mahogany walls, and the rhythmic trumpet of jazz.
“welcome, mr. itoshi.” the receptionist greets. “your table for two is right this way.” she quickly guides the two of you into a secluded part of the restaurant, just like he’s always done as to make sure neither of you are spotted and harassed in public.
lamps hang on the walls, creating a romantic atmosphere. and the curved dark-brown leather booth couch perfectly complements the dark oak roundtable.
the date isn’t too different from the others. the two of you chat about anything that comes to mind. but, it’s actually more like it’s just you chattering on, and sae listening as he admires that excited grin on your face.
on the outside looking in, it’s obvious how he has heart eyes when he stares at you. he’s in a trance as he listens to the rich honeying sweetness of your voice; his finger traces the lines on the roundtable, wishing that it’d be the crinkles of your smile he’s tracing when he blinks and opens his eyes again.
his trance is broken though, when his phone rings. damn it, he forgot to put his phone on do not disturb… “something wrong?” you ask sae, and he takes his phone out of his pocket. “not sure. there shouldn’t be a problem, i cancelled everything for tonight. ugh… just a second, amor…” he remorsefully takes your hand in his as a silent gesture of apology. he took too long to pick up the phone, it already went out…
he opened his call app, and saw that it was from his publicist, dabadie. he groaned before picking up.
“sae! you didn’t mention that you’d be going out on a date today, your paparazzi shot is already all over social medias..!” he worriedly stammers. “i didn’t? well, whatever… it’s just a date photo anyway.” sae shrugs, speaking quietly to ensure that you don’t hear. “right— but… you know the internet… they might criticize you, and say that she’s distracting you from soccer…”
sae is about to correct him— he’s about to say that you aren’t distracting him from his career, but he holds back once he remembers that you’re right beside him, eagerly waiting for his attention to be back on you.
“i… have to speak to you for a second, im already outside the restaurant… the paparazzi didn’t censor out the location well enough either… so, the agency’s security car will follow you two home…” he adds on. sae sighs. “i have to speak to you too. i’ll meet you outside.” he hangs up. he huffs in exasperation and shallowly drops his phone, making it clatter on the table; the screen is left open on his call record. “im sorry, amor… i have to quickly take care of something, i’ll be back soon, i promise.” he kisses your hand.
“hmph, don’t worry. it’s dabadie, right? he’s always worried about something…” you laugh. of course you’d be understanding about it. you always understood. “heh, that he is.” he sasses before leaving the table.
…and you can’t help but notice that his phone is still open.
his phone is practically yelling at you, “check out what’s on me, s/o! check it out right now!”, and you simply can’t resist the temptation to!
first, you simply scroll around at his call record; nothing too interesting, it’s filled with calls from dabadie, and you. as well as occasional calls from his mom. how tepid, as sae would put it. you exit the app, and find his home screen wallpaper to be a picture he took of you; you’re looking out into the distance, the large castle of sleeping beauty in the background.
you smile to yourself at that cute photo, and move to his photos; it’s filled with photos of you, and almost none of him— not unless you were beside him. you scroll down to check out his older photos; they’re childhood pictures, only a few of them are with rin included.
…anyways, ‘what is in sae itoshi’s notes app?’, you ponder. you open his notes app.
‘things i want to eat: 1. omelette, 2. paella, 3. pesto pasta’
‘onitsuka tiger mexico - kill bill/grey, new balance 2002r - grey, asics gel NYC - oyster grey’
‘laundry’
‘i love you’
you laugh at the randomness of his notes, quickly scrolling through them. it’s true when they say that a boy’s notes is truly random.
but that last note catches your eye. it’s a pretty odd note that just says ‘i love you’ with no additional text. and, it makes you wonder.
sae’s an organized person, more or less. so, his notes must be filed too. and, you’re correct. there are three files; ‘lists’, ‘important documents’, and a file with your initial as its’ name.
the other two don’t seem as interesting, nor seem as mysterious. so, you click on the mysterious file.
and, the file is filled with everything about you; he’s written down your birthday (including the time…), your family members’ names, foods you like to eat when you aren’t feeling well, shows that you like to watch… everything.
and, there’s a note that catches your eye. it’s a cut-off sentence, since it was too long. you decide to feed your curiosity and click on the note.
‘she talks to everyone, even the people she doesn’t like.
it takes a lot to piss her off.
she’s always kind to me, after all.
she seems really eager to please, but she has quite the backbone.
she works really hard, but i don’t think many see it.
her generosity knows no bounds, and she always knows what kind of joke to make.
i didn’t think it was possible for a soul to be so beautiful.
nor, that someone like i would meet a soul like her’s.
but, im grateful to the stars above that i met her.
someone as kind as her deserves to receive all the love she gives.
i don’t think she knows how loved she really is though.
what a beautiful human being she is.
there simply isn’t enough words to describe the way her dimples crinkle when she’s happy.
the day she was conceived, the gods must’ve tenderly sculpted her heart out of ivory and gold.
the way she enamors everyone in the room simply by walking inside, and the way her personality shines in her rushed, yet sweet handwriting.
one day, i hope she’ll finally be perpetually happy.
so, that she can always shine that enchanting smile of her’s.
she deserves all of it.’
was this a poem..? it didn’t seem like it, it didn’t rhyme, and the stanzas didn’t have equal amounts of lines… but, the way he worded it out almost made it seem like he was a poet.
you don’t… even know what to think at such a romantic confession. it’s certainly much more than sae has ever verbally said to you. but, the fact that he had written this with you in mind makes your heart pound like crazy.
you’ve always known that sae loves you, but seeing his private thoughts all written out for you to read was… overwhelming.
“going through my texts, amor? i’m not texting any other woman besides you.” sae nonchalantly jokes. shit— time went quicker than you’d thought. “ah, nn… just got a bit curious, babe…” you hum. “what were you looking at..?” he asks, and his eyes widen the moment he sees what you were reading. out of all the things on his phone, that was the last thing he wanted you reading.
he embarrassedly closes his phone. “so… what was all that writing about..? were you trying to be a poet?” you jokingly ask; you knew that sae wasn’t mad, per say… he was probably just embarrassed. “n..no… it was, ah…” he clears his throat. “it was just… something i typed out when i realized i had many observations about you that i needed to write down. i just got sidetracked while i was typing.” he explains.
you smile, your entire body feeling like you’re on fire. the love you feel for sae itoshi feels like too much to contain in your heart. “it was really sweet, sae…” you assure him. for some reason, you have the odd incentive to just… cry right now. you love him so much.
“i know. but, it’s also too sappy.” he huffs. “aw, don’t be so shy… i know you’re just a huge softie under that tough surface…” you tease, moving closer to cuddle up to his side. “im not soft. i just love you, okay?” he groans. “don’t make me say embarrassing things.”
your smile widens, making him look at you with that lovesick look in his eyes. “aww… well, i guess i know how much you love me now anyway, so that’s good enough..!” you mentally fist pump at this small victory.
the atmosphere suddenly feels light again as you start to chatter again, teasing him slightly before going back to what you were speaking about before he had left. and still, sae’s looking at you like you’re the world cup trophy, like you’re all he’s dreamed of.
and sae thinks…
‘…you’ll know how sappy i can get when it’s our wedding day.’
but he should save that for another 5 years, or so.
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thewickedjazzy · 2 months ago
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Bonus Level: “Swoon Over You” [Gravity Suspension x Body worshipping] for Kinktober.
♡soft dom! chuuya x afab curvy! reader.
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Synopsis: your thoughts have been clouded by quiet insecurities lately, but of course your boyfriend knows every inch of you better than you do, showing just how much he craves every part of you, even the ones you doubt.
Warnings: ņsfw, mdni, smųt, soft dom! chuu, lovesick! chuu, car sex, mention of insecurities, reader has a female body, alice in wonderland syndrome, titty job, suspension, marking up, body worshipping, unprotected sex.
W/C: 2.3k, this bonus fic is for my bbg hattie <3 @writingandmusing thank you for always supporting me bb and so sorry for being late :( xoxo, divider credits: @/toastray.
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you slump against the cool, supple leather of the car seat, eyes half-lidded from the exhaustion that's pressing on every bone of your body, and the rhythmic sound of tires against the asphalt only makes things worse, lulling you into a dazed state as your thoughts race, faster than the car’s smooth glide over the road.
the mission had drained you, both physically and mentally, but that wasn’t what had you on edge now. no, it’s the way you’re trying to sink into the seat, making yourself as small as possible, but the longer you’re still, the more your mind drifts to everything that makes you feel too much. too wide, too thick, too everything.
you try not to shift, not to make it obvious how your thighs seem to take up all the space in the seat, how your hips feel a little more prominent when you sit, thighs not as thin as the other girls around the mafia. and to make it worse, the soft pressure against the fabric of your skirt feels suffocating, but you won’t pull it down now. you just can't. even though you really want to. instead, you bite your lip and force your gaze to the window, watching the city blur past you as you try your best to be calm, pretending like none of it matters, but the redhead executive sitting next to you knows better. he always does.
a soft sigh slips from his lips, your boyfriend of two years knows your tactics just too well, “yer tryin' not to adjust yer skirt, huh? bet that's makin' ya uncomfortable.” he says as a quiet observation. and you can not help but feel the weight of it in your chest. you know for sure that it’s not just a simple comment.
“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” you can’t admit it, can’t tell him what you’re thinking, how every little motion feels like it’s screaming at you.
“you’re lying,” his voice is barely louder than the hum of the engine. “and you know i hate that.”
“i’m not—” your voice cracks, seriously? now?
“babe, i’ve noticed. every time, it’s like yer trynna disappear or somethin’.” he drawls, voice dropping an octave, “i love it, y’know. i love how you fill out that skirt. how your hips look when you’re sittin’ all tense like that. makes me wanna–”
the executive's gaze flickers, almost instinctively, to your thighs – those full, plush curves you can’t seem to hide, “makes me wanna rip that skirt off, pull ya right into my lap and fuck you dumb.”
his voice is a velvet storm, the kind you can’t resist, every syllable crashing into you like a wave of heat, sweeping you beneath its pull, making your thighs tighten, instinctively pressing together.
his hand shifts from the armrest, moving slowly, until it’s at the edge of your seat. you don’t have to look to know where his fingers are heading, breath catching in your throat as his eyes flick up to meet yours briefly, with a well-known smirk blooming at the corner of his lips just the moment his fingers press lightly against the thick, rounded softness of your thighs.
“yer thighs... hmph~ fuckin' delicious.” he leans in, soft pink lips pressing against your neck as his hand pushes further, gloved thumb traces slow circles on your skin, yet you can’t stop the way your body reacts, “want me to show you how flawless you are, baby?”
“chuuya! we’re in a car, for god’s sake... a fucking mafia chauffeur is literally driving us right now.” you hiss, trying to shove his hand away, but the movement is like the ebb and flow of the tide, pulling back only to crash against what it desires.
“ tsk tsk.. babe, you worry too much,” the redhead mutters, fingers digging into your thigh, the heat from your skin almost making him drunk on it. “we got a soundproof glass for a reason, sweetheart. he won’t hear a damn thing.”
“but..chuu–” you bite your lip, trying to force down the heat rising in your chest.
“ain’t no one stopping me but you.” his voice is so smooth, almost tender, but his body says otherwise, pressing against you, and you can definitely feel the telltale strain of his dress pants — he’s too locked in now, “tell me to stop, babe and i will...but we both know you don’t really want me to.”
the weight of his hands changes, pressing harder, pinning you in place like iron shackles — not just hands anymore but something more insidious. his gravity manipulation seeps in, the red hue force tightening around your limbs just enough to leave you breathless. you can't move. can't struggle. and honestly... do you even want to?
“fuck baby... look at you,” the executive's voice cuts through your haze as he leans back to drink you in. the seatbelt suddenly comes alive under his touch, snapping against your wrists, jerking your arms above your head with a sharp tug. did he plan this? or was it 'a heat of the moment impulse?’ not that it matters cause you’re already wincing as the straps bite into your skin, securing you against the cold window.
“does it hurt?” he purrs, the corner of his mouth twitching in a smirk that’s more taunt than his question. you shake your head, lips parting slightly as the same pressure that paralyzed your arms works its way lower, pulling your body closer until you're forced against him, feeling your back digs into the window and your right leg dangles helplessly off the seat as the rest of you is stretched taut in his grip.
he hasn’t touched you — not really — but it doesn’t matter. cause you can feel him everywhere already. the car feels smaller, claustrophobic, the air pressing against your chest as his fingers twitch, moving toward your legs like they have a mind of their own. slowly, more like agonizingly, they hover just above your skin, undeniable foretaste humming in your veins more and more feeling him leer over you, cataloguing every reaction, every involuntary twitch of your muscles.
“every damn inch of you gets me harder than you can imagine.” his hands finally land on your thigh, tearing the sheer fabric with ease, fingers pressing down to trace your folds through your undies before sliding up and down your inner thighs with adoration. “and yet... here ya are, hidin’ from me. thinkin’ there’s parts of you i wouldn’t worship.”
your breathing quickens, a shallow staccato, and you hate the way you’re shaking under him — not with fear, not exactly, but with something far more compromising. the seatbelt strains against you as you instinctively jerk your arms, testing the hold, but it’s useless. you’re caught, bound, and his ability doesn’t just control your body. it strips away your autonomy, leaving you suspended in his web. and he knows it.
his fingers find the buttons of your shirt, popping them open with maddening ease. “wanna know what’s so damn unique about your body, dollface?” his palm slides over your lace bra, fingers curling possessively as he squeezes softly. you gasp sharply, feeling his hot mouth against your skin, trailing open kisses down your collarbone, sharp teeth nipping before his tongue soothes the sting. you can’t move, can’t think — only feel him, feel his possessive grip on you tightening as he groans low in his chest, “fuhh-kk – those fat titties get me off harder than you’d ever imagine.”
“ch-chuu– stop teasing please.” you whimper with a trembling breath as you arch into him, desperate for more. more of his touch, more of his kisses, as if each fleeting moment only leaves you craving the next. he growls low in his throat, oh- that sound that makes your heart race, pumping blood faster as he deftly undoes the buttons of his vest and dress shirt. your hands ache to roam, to trace the hard lines of his body, to feel the muscles beneath your palms that have haunted your dreams during your time apart. honestly, you can't deny it — not even for a second — how much you’ve missed him, how every inch of him feels like a need too urgent to ignore.
“lemme show you, doll. lemme use every fuckin’ piece of you until you see what i see.” chuuya rasps unbuttoning his belt urgently, he couldn’t stop the way his cock twitched the second it's freed it from his uniform slacks. hard enough now that the foreskin slowly began peeling back on it’s own. he moves closer already palming it. you swallow down the lump in your throat, instinctively parting your lips lewdly, thinking he’d claim your mouth, but he had other plans.
his index finger curls around your bra gore pushing your tits together, cerulean eyes rolling back lost in a wave of pleasure as his cock slides between your breasts, squeezing them tighter with each thrust. grumbling above you, strands of fiery hair hanging in his face as he continued to fuck your tits over and over again.
“jesus fu-hkin’, yer tellin’ me ngh– you hate ’em? look at ’em getting me off–fuckk.” he's too riddled with lust head to toe to even move at this point. he wanted to say something but you fogged his mind so completely that chuuya is now reduced to a moaning mess. a few beads of pre-cum roll down his shaft, soaking your tits and making it even easier as he continues thrusting as his gravity ability still holds your wrists pinned above your head.
chuuya leans down to kiss you, hot mouth crashing feverishly against yours, tongue poking in and swirling around yours as he sucks a bit harsher than usual before aligning himself perfectly with your slit. it feels like a fever dream — you don’t even recall how he changed positions so quickly, wrapping your legs around his slim waist and securing them tightly with his ability. and then you catch it, that half-lidded look of his, the one he always gives you before he pushes in. so full of love and adoration, like he’s already on cloud nine. his jaw goes completely slack as he sinks into you, as if the sheer feeling of your tight walls around him is enough to undo him entirely.
“fuck! chuu– ba-byyy– mmffuch” your desperate pleas are swallowed as he kisses you again, this time far messier.
teeth, tongue, spit — he just adores how you taste. your wet cupid's bow quivers into a pout as he ups his pace, a rarity for him. usually, he’s slow and sweet, savouring every moment, never rushing, always ensuring you’re not hurt. after all, he’s pretty thick, and no matter how many times you’ve done this, it always takes a few moments for you to adjust to his size.
he breaks the kiss, teeth sinking into your collarbone, your breasts, your shoulders, marking you with a trail of bruises that will soon bloom into a tapestry of stormy violet, soft grey, and deep green.
“shit umph..every inch of you – is ugh – etheral..” one hand grips your thighs firmly, while the other latches into your nipple tongue flicking away to make your back arch in response. “ ’m so fuckin’ gone for you baby.”
“y-yes – fuck don't stop chuu– i-i need you... i need more please-”
“y-yeah? want me to show you how much i love you, hmm? fuck you like – oh shit –you’re mine, baby? ‘cause you are — every inch of you – oh fuck – ‘can feel your pussy swallowin’ me. so tight. so perfect.” both your minds are completely overtaken by the intense pleasure and the love you have for each other, oblivious to the car rattling as his cock repeatedly hits your g-spot over and over again, never slowing, never faltering for a second. he's lost in the pleasure, consumed by his love for you.
“this pussy’s mine, yeah? jus’ mine – no one else fucks you like this only me. ‘s gonna – ‘s gonna make me – fuhh-ckk”
erotic breaths and moans fill the car as you bodies rock together, riding out your release in perfect rhythm, the heat between you both building, bodies pressed close, pressure intensifying with every thrust. and just for a few seconds his gravity ability wavers enough for your wrists to slip free and wrap tightly around him, pulling him closer as 'i love yous' spill from his lips, each word nourishing your orgasm, making it smolder like fire as you both melt into each other.
chuuya presses his forehead to yours as you both try to catch your breath.
"i love you so much chuu…" you murmur softly, feeling his hot breaths fanning across your neck.
his lips hover over yours, kissing you gently, over and over, drinking you up like his favourite wine. “say it again, baby,” he whispers between kisses, “i need to hear it.”
you smile, rolling your eyes playfully as you feel your heart swell with adoration, “i love you, chuuya.”
the so-called-ruthless executive chuckles, gloved hands tenderly cupping your face. “oh yeah? say it one more time baby, please?” he says playfully now, but still adorned with a sweet vulnerability, as you both melt into laughter and sweet kisses, whispering sweet nothings, oblivious to the fact that you'll be arriving at headquarters in just five minutes.
well, for now? the mafia can wait.
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TAGS: @a-smol-bean @violetbutterflix @amanoava @falloutjuli @embersweapons @warriordemigosworld @cathias @v15aexe @vasarii @pe4rl-diver @sukidenks @dazaifavbandage @chuuminn @fyodorsprettynun @ace-0fspades69 @irazai @trippyserval @alyszuha @bittysuguru @corruptedwrathkitsune @thedamselzelda @fyodorssimp1 @vikkinakahara @perlaslibrary @remlionheart @osamucide @ranpazz @naviiq
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crystallinestars · 3 months ago
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NSFW Alphabet - Kinich
In honor of Kinich's birthday, I wrote a NSFW alphabet to celebrate. There's just something about him that has a firm grip on me, and I've been unable to stop thinking about him for a solid month. I'm posting this at 11:11 (my time), so let this also be a tribute in the hopes he'll come home on his rerun ���
Kinich x fem!Reader
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Kinich is quite good at aftercare. He’s attentive to your needs and asks how you’re feeling and if you need him to get you anything or help with cleanup. Even before you say anything, his keen eye picks up on your physical state, and Kinich will go out of his way to help you with whatever he can.
He gets you whatever you ask for, be it water, a towel, or a kiss, and carries you to the shower if you’re too weak to walk. He apologizes for being too rough on you and makes a mental note to be gentler next time. Kinich makes it up to you by letting you rest and taking care of your household duties the following day.
After cleaning up, if it’s not too late in the day, he’ll whip up a simple meal for you to share. Alternatively, he might stay in bed and cuddle if he needs the rest. Kinich enjoys cuddling after sex and basking in the afterglow. There’s something nice about holding and treating you with tenderness after such a passionate encounter. It deepens his affection for you.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Kinich doesn’t have a favorite body part on himself, but he does prize his body as a whole. His childhood taught him early on the importance of having a well-maintained body. Without it, he wouldn’t have survived. It’s also his bargaining chip with Ajaw, so he considers his body to be one of his greatest assets. Kinich takes care to stay in shape, which his physically demanding commissions and extreme sports hobby make easy to accomplish.
As for your body, Kinich also has no preference. He loves you for who you are rather than what you look like, but he does have a slight fascination with the nape of your neck. He catches himself wanting to kiss it when standing or lying behind you.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
It’s thin and a healthy white. Has a slightly salty flavor. Doesn’t have a strong preference for where to cum, but he usually does it inside unless you tell him otherwise. He is hesitant to cum on your face because he thinks you won’t like that. You’ll need to tell him it’s okay otherwise he’ll avoid that area.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
The first time you wore a swimsuit, Kinich was captivated by how pretty you looked. He already thought you were attractive, but something about seeing you in a flattering swimsuit and exposing so much skin made him pause and take an appreciative glance at you. His usual stoic expression didn’t change, but Ajaw noticed the subtle way Kinich’s eyes trailed down your figure, lingering on you for a moment too long.
Of course, Ajaw’s immediate response was to mock Kinich for checking you out, and the Saurian Hunter had to lock the menace away to keep him quiet. Though it would have been embarrassing to be exposed for checking you out, Kinich worried more about Ajaw making you uncomfortable with his blunt and crass commentary, so he did what he could to prevent that. Kinich also complimented your appearance, wanting you to know he thought you looked pretty in your swimsuit. (There was also a lot of fruit bribing happening behind your back so Ajaw wouldn’t open his big mouth once he was let out)
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Kinich has no experience. He never sought romantic or sexual relationships, preferring to be by himself and taking care of his sexual needs on his own. Intimate relationships weren’t a priority or something he was interested in. Once Ajaw entered his life, the pixelated menace’s rudeness and narcissism kept others away from Kinich, so such chances became even fewer, though Kinich didn’t mind.
Despite having no prior experience, Kinich does have a working knowledge of sex. He sees it mostly as a means of reproduction, but he’s read and heard enough to know it’s also done for pleasure, to relieve stress, and to deepen bonds between romantic partners. He never really gave it much thought until he formed a romantic relationship with you and wondered if sex was something you wanted to have with him in the future. He looked into it more once you started discussing the possibility of being sexually intimate. Due to his cautious nature, Kinich wants to be prepared for all kinds of situations, so he spends a great deal of time researching guides and tips on how to have safe sex.
The Saurian Hunter doesn’t let his inexperience hold him back. Even during your first time, he acts assertively and confidently when exploring your body and learning your likes and dislikes but remains gentle. Kinich’s preparedness gives him a good idea of what to do to please you and keep things comfortable and safe so you can both enjoy the experience. However, as a beginner to sexual intimacy, he would still appreciate it if you gave him some guidance on how you want to be pleased and communicated with him about your needs. He wants to polish his skills to please you to the best of his ability.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Kinich favors classic positions like missionary, cowgirl, and doggystyle.
Missionary allows him to see your face and establish a more intimate emotional connection. It’s his go-to when he craves romantic lovemaking. It also makes it easy to kiss you, hold your hand, and bite your neck. Kinich enjoys variations on missionary as well, such as hiking your legs onto his shoulders or pressing your knees to your chest for deeper and tighter penetration.
With cowgirl, he enjoys letting you take the reins and move how you like. There’s something hot about watching you bounce on his lap and get off with his cock, not to mention the alluring view he has of your body. While you ride him, Kinich helps guide your hips with his hands and thrusts up into you when he gets closer to his peak.
As for doggystyle, Kinich likes to use this position when you don’t have as much time to make love but still need sexual relief. It’s a tad primal, and he’s fond of the tighter squeeze this position offers. Watching you melt and moan under him makes his self-control slip a little, so Kinich tends to fuck you harder in this position. He presses his chest against your back, blanketing your body with his to stay close to you and because he likes biting your neck and shoulders.
Kinich’s athleticism and equipment allow him to try some less conventional sex positions, though he generally won’t choose them unless you express an interest in trying something new. If you so wish, he’ll use his strength and flexibility to try out one of the more difficult positions, or even get out the ropes and hooks, but only after careful research about the associated safety hazards. Sex should be fun, yes, but doing so safely is still a higher priority for him. The last thing he wants is for either of you to get injured.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
As with most things, Kinich approaches sex seriously, but he does try to keep the mood relaxed. He doesn’t crack jokes, but his demeanor softens. He asks for permission to touch you, and frequently inquires if you’re okay and want to keep going, giving you a chance to stop should you want it. He takes your needs and comfort very seriously.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Has a small patch of curly dark hair. He grooms it just enough to keep it orderly but doesn’t spend a lot of time trimming it to perfection.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Kinich is not the greatest romantic, but he does value an emotional connection during sex. He has come a long way in learning to trust and open up to people since his turbulent childhood, but the vulnerability and intimacy that come with sex and romance can make him uneasy. As such, Kinich only has sex with someone he deeply loves and trusts. Only such a person has the privilege to witness such a vulnerable part of himself.
Because he views most things in life as a transaction, if you entrust your heart and body to him, Kinich will see it as his duty to show the same amount of love and trust in return. He cherishes your trust and affection and wants to repay you in kind. This manifests in him holding your hand during lovemaking, openly looking at you with desire and adoration, and leaving soft kisses all over your skin.
He’s not the best with words, but Kinich tries his best to compliment you. It’s nothing flowery, usually just a simple “you look beautiful” while he admires your figure, or “you feel good”, and of course a whispered “I love you” during tender lovemaking.
As mentioned previously, Kinich values your comfort so he frequently asks how you’re feeling and if you want to keep going. He doesn’t want to force you if you don’t feel ready or want to stop, and neither does he want to push your body past its limits. Hurting or upsetting you is the absolute last thing he wants, so he gives you opportunities to leave the situation in case you want them. He’s very considerate towards you.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Kinich doesn’t masturbate often. He’s usually busy completing commissions so he doesn’t have the luxury of thinking about his sexual needs. If he needs to relieve stress, then his preference for that is through extreme sports.
Nonetheless, he still experiences the urge for sexual relief, so Kinich usually masturbates while taking a bath. It’s one of the few moments he has completely to himself, plus it makes cleaning up any evidence of his lewd activities extremely easy. Kinich is cautious, however, and stifles his voice and other sounds to remain discreet.
He usually doesn’t think about anything while jacking off, but when he fell in love with you, he caught himself masturbating more often and fantasizing about you in your swimsuit or of you touching him like this. He was ashamed of thinking of you this way at first, but that shame went away once you became sexually intimate. If you ever ask him about whether he thought of you while masturbating, though, he will be honest and forthright when admitting that he had and still does when you’re not available.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Kinich leans more dominant, but he doesn’t enforce his authority. He doesn’t order you around or give commands, but he can pin your wrists down and act assertive to get what he wants from you (all while being respectful of your wishes and first gauging if it’s something you’re anticipating him to do. Kinich would never force himself on you).
He’s fine with you taking the lead if you have an interest in being dominant, and looks forward to seeing what you have in mind for your session together.
One of his biggest kinks is marking. Kinich likes to leave hickeys and bite marks all over your skin, particularly your neck, shoulders, and inner thighs. It’s a primal urge he gets when having sex, and he takes delight in seeing his marks on you in the following days. It makes him feel like he’s staked his claim on you, marking you as his. Of course, he doesn’t go overboard and listens to you if you say you don’t want the marks to be visible. He’ll settle for marking up your shoulders or inner thighs where the marks won’t be seen by anyone except him.
Kinich is also into hearing you beg. He won’t go out of his way to tease and demand you beg for his touch, but if you do so of your own volition (ex: “Kinich please, I need you”) then it sets off something primal inside him. Hearing how needy you are for his touch sends sparks of lust through him and makes him eager to fulfill your desires.
He’s also into light bondage. Nothing complicated, just some scarves or rope to tie your wrists with will do (his knots are secure, but he makes sure the bindings are loose enough to not chafe your skin. Though he’ll tighten them if you ask). Conversely, he can use his hands to pin your wrists down (and lace your fingers together). He’s not into being tied himself, though.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Kinich isn’t against having sex outdoors, but only if you’re in a location that’s safe from potential intruders and wild beasts. He’s open to making love to you while camping, be it in a tent or under the starlit sky but won’t push you if you’re not comfortable with the idea.
At home, to avoid getting caught by Ajaw, Kinich prefers to have sex either in the bedroom or bathroom where you have more privacy. On the occasions when he gets a friend to babysit the menace, Kinich is down to make love pretty much anywhere at home, he’s not picky.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
One of the best ways to turn Kinich on is to express your love for him. Heartfelt words of affection, acts of service, or thoughtful gifts touch his heart. He is overcome by love for you in those moments because you make him feel cherished and cared for, and Kinich feels an impulse to show you that he loves and appreciates you too. He’s not good at sappy love confessions, so this impulse manifests physically. What starts as a gentle kiss of gratitude grows into something passionate as Kinich’s need to express his feelings for you intensifies. This can sometimes result in him making love to you.
Kinich’s self-control and patience are high, but there are a few other things you could do to wear away at them. For example, being assertive in initiative sex. Straddle his lap and teasingly trace your hands over his body, give him kisses along his jaw and neck, whisper in his ear how much you crave him, and lust will ignite in his loins.
Alternatively, you could wear flattering clothes that hug your figure, such as swimsuits or sportswear (he likes to admire how nice you look in them), or press up against him and let him feel the softness of your body. It’s unlikely Kinich will snap, but his interest in sexual intimacy will heighten considerably, and he’ll look for an appropriate opportunity to satiate your carnal desires.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Kinich dislikes being restrained or losing control of his body, so things like bondage and blindfolds make him uneasy. Plus, half the fun of sex is being able to touch you, so being tied up deprives him of the joy of exploring your body and making you feel good.
Kinich also takes no enjoyment from impact play. He doesn’t hate it but simply doesn’t derive any pleasure from the pain, especially because his associations with being hit aren’t good ones. Similarly, he won’t hit or degrade you either, not wanting to be like his father even if it’s light-hearted play with the intent to feel good.
Additionally, Kinich isn’t into roleplay. He doesn’t see the appeal and finds it awkward to act as someone he’s not, especially in a sexual situation. He’d much rather you and he act like yourselves and show appreciation and love for who you are without the extra obstacles.
He’s also not fond of sharing you or having third parties join your sessions, preferring to keep things private. Only you get to see this vulnerable side of him, and he hopes you share the sentiment of wanting him to be the only one to see you like this, as well.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Kinich’s inexperience might make him a little awkward at oral sex at first, but he is devoted to your pleasure and does his best to learn all the ways you like to be eaten out. Whenever he gives you oral, he keeps his eyes fixed on your face and takes mental note of which pressures and touches of his tongue and fingers get the best reactions out of you. He wants to use this knowledge to improve his oral skills so he can better please you.
Kinich has no qualms about going down on you because he strives to make you feel good, and as such, will bury his face between your legs and lap away at your folds until you’re writhing under his touch. He doesn’t mind if you tug his hair or buck your hips against his face, though if you squirm too much or impede his progress by clamping your thighs around his head, then he hooks his arms around your thighs and pins them down to keep you still. Kinch only lets go once he’s brought you to orgasm.
Despite his transactional outlook on life, Kinich doesn’t expect you to give him oral in return for eating you out. If you bring him to orgasm through any other means, then he considers it even. That said, he views it as his duty to go down on you if you give him a blowjob. He loves giving you oral. There’s something so erotic about hearing your moans of pleasure and watching you writhe under his tongue, so he’s always eager to repay the favor.
When you give him a blowjob, Kinich struggles to keep his voice down. His eyes flutter closed and he places a hand on your head, not pushing or pulling but just resting it there to ground himself. The sight of his cock disappearing in your mouth is intense for him, and as he approaches orgasm, Kinich shallowly thrusts into your mouth, careful to not choke you but unable to stop himself from wanting more. Whether you swallow his cum or let him paint your skin in it doesn’t matter—either outcome is hot to him.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Kinich’s pace depends on what you want. He usually goes for a moderate pace, keeping his thrusts consistent and angled just right to hit those sweet spots inside you. However, he can go slow and gentle if you’re making love, or faster and rougher if you’re in the mood for a good fuck. Even if he goes rougher, Kinich is still mindful of your comfort and keeps strict control of his thrusts so as to not hurt you. His main goal is for you to enjoy sex with him. Getting himself off is secondary.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Kinich doesn’t mind quickies. Sometimes, when he or you are in the mood but don’t have enough time to indulge in long foreplay, he goes for quickies. Ajaw is usually the main reason for you guys having quickies, mostly because you want to squeeze in some intimate time before the arrogant saurian inevitably interrupts you.
Kinich finds it a hassle to work around Ajaw’s presence, so he prefers to send the dragonlord out on an errand or lock him away so you won’t be disturbed. To Kinich’s dismay, Ajaw quickly figures out that whenever he gets promptly locked or sent out on a long errand whenever you’re around, this usually means his servant is about to get busy with you. However, for once, Ajaw doesn’t object. He already had the misfortune of accidentally walking in on you getting frisky with Kinich when the hunter forgot to lock him away, and the awful memory is seared into the poor saurian’s brain. One time was too many, and he’d rather never see that again. Nevertheless, when he returns to Kinich’s side, Ajaw makes sure to thoroughly poke fun at the hunter and make his disgust for your sexual activities known.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Kinich is willing to take risks, especially for you. Generally, he’s open to trying almost anything once but only if you’re also on board with experimenting. Due to his cautious nature, Kinich will want to research whatever new kinks you want to try so he knows how to indulge in them safely, especially if one of you hasn’t tried these kinks before. He's open to taking risks but he's not reckless.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Kinich’s commissions and extreme sports hobby require him to have good endurance, so he has very good stamina. He almost always outlasts you in bed. He can easily go for three rounds, maybe a couple more if he’s willing to push himself and takes appropriate breaks, though three is already more than enough to satisfy his sexual cravings.
How many rounds you go for usually depends on you. If you can’t keep up with his stamina, then Kinich is perfectly content to go for 1-2 rounds (as mentioned, it’s the perfect amount for him). However, if your sexual appetite is big, Kinich can go for more rounds, though he would switch it up with oral or fingering for variety and to give himself a break.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Kinich doesn’t own any sex toys. He doesn’t need them to get off and thus sees no point in getting any. If you have toys you like using or want to try with him, then Kinich will learn how to operate them to please you. He typically likes sex without toys but admits they’re good for spicing up your sex life now and then.
He won’t object if you want to use toys on him even though they’re not as gratifying for him as your direct touch, but only if you know what you’re doing.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Usually, Kinich doesn’t tease you during sex. He takes a straightforward approach to life and likes to do things efficiently, and pleasing you is no different. However, Kinich can be playful when the mood strikes, and this results in him teasing you by lightly stimulating your sensitive spots, such as lightly flicking your nipples, rubbing your clit, or sucking on a delicate patch of skin on your neck just to watch you react to his touch with a small, amused smirk on his lips. He’s got a smart mouth, so he might also verbally tease you by pointing out how eager you seem for his touch, but he keeps the teasing lighthearted and affectionate.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Kinich naturally tries to keep his voice down when engaging in sexual activities. His most common sounds are ragged breaths, moans, and sighs of pleasure. His moans are soft, low, and infrequent, mostly because he muffles them by sucking hickeys into your neck or kissing you. He’s loudest when nearing orgasm, oftentimes uttering your name right as he hits his peak.
He doesn’t talk much during sex, but he does give you heartfelt compliments and tells you he loves you as a way of expressing his gratitude for all the love and trust you give him.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
TW: Menstruation, mentions of blood, period sex
When Kinich found out about your painful menstrual cramps, he took to researching various methods he could use to help you deal with them because he doesn’t like seeing you in pain. Aside from common methods like heating pads, pain medicine, and warm baths, Kinich also read that orgasms can help alleviate cramping.
He proposes the idea of period sex, expressing his willingness to give you orgasms if it means bringing you relief. He understands if you aren’t comfortable with the idea and won’t pressure you into it, but his interest in doing this for you is genuine.
Kinich sees menstruation as a normal part of life and reassures you that there is no reason to feel self-conscious or ashamed of your body’s natural response. Blood doesn’t make him squeamish, so he has no reservations about getting any of yours on himself. If it helps you feel better, then he’s willing to get messy.
If you agree to his proposition, Kinich will take great measures to ensure your comfort. He understands that your abdomen must be tender, so he keeps all his touches slow and gentle to avoid worsening your cramps. He lets you decide if you’re more comfortable with him using his penis or fingers—either one is fine with him. If you choose fingers, then he rubs your clit in slow circles and gently thrusts his fingers into you, starting with one and then moving on to two until he makes you cum.
If you prefer his cock, then Kinich will be careful and gentle with his thrusts, keeping them slow and shallow until you’re comfortable with taking more. He showers you with a lot of kisses and affectionate caresses to keep you relaxed and maximize your enjoyment of the experience. During such moments, Kinich focuses more on your comfort and enjoyment than his own pleasure because the experience is mainly about you.
He feels a sense of accomplishment when his efforts pay off in your orgasm and you confirm that it did indeed help alleviate your pain. Kinich volunteers to have menstrual sex with you each month if it’s something that interests you.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
11cm (4.3 inch) in length and 10cm (3.9 inch) in girth with a dark red tip and a prominent vein underneath.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Kinich’s sexual appetite isn’t big, so having sex once or twice a week is enough for him. Because his work sometimes forces him to leave his tribe for days at a time, opportunities to make love are not as frequent as you might hope, but Kinich still tries to make time for it.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Kinich doesn’t fall asleep immediately after intercourse unless he’s tired. He likes to stay up and hold you, basking in the afterglow and letting you know that he really enjoyed this moment. He’s not one for idle chatter, but he does use this opportunity to talk about your plans for tomorrow, maybe plan a small date, or invite you to a special place he discovered while running an errand as a courier.
You almost always fall asleep before him (he gives you quite a workout) and he observes the way your expression relaxes as you drift off with a small smile on his face. Kinich ensures you’re properly tucked in before draping an arm around you and joining you in sleep, or quietly getting out of bed to take care of unfinished work. He always makes sure you’re comfortable before leaving, though.
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bbystark · 5 months ago
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♡ simon is a bad stalker part 1 ♡
bad!stalker!simon x reader series - pt two three
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♡ masterlist ♡ request more! ♡
summary: simon being a stalker but really it's just him being sweet. price makes an appearance. mdni
a/n: as per usual this is way longer than it needs to be, enjoy
simon kind of sucks at being a stalker but it's because he doesn't really want to scare you, he just wants to be around you
he doesn't even really realize what he's doing at first, tells himself that he's only trailing you in his car as a random act of kindness, who knows what could happen to you in broad daylight walking 2 streets over to grab a coffee
he finds your number too easily, and even pays some sketchy site $20 after a pop-up promises to scrub your information from sites like the one he's on now. wouldn't want someone finding out all the information he did
you suddenly are getting way less spam calls/emails, and chalk it up to being lucky
it goes on for months, you have no idea who he is and that you're being stalked. the only inkling you have of anything weird going on is you're having terrific luck lately.
obviously, the luck is a huge war-torn man that can't seem to stop making your life easier
like one day it's raining hard after work, and you have prepared yourself to get soaked on your way to your car.
that is until you see an umbrella leaning against the building, a note with running ink that says "free" on it. talk about right place right time!
or the time your cat gets sick from eating a hair tie and you spend almost all your money on surgeries and medicine. you're starting to worry that you'll be short on rent when a literal child knocks on your door with an envelope full of money saying that he has a youtube channel and chose you randomly to give $5,000 to. what the fuck?
you're still standing motionless in your doorway with a stack of money in your hands when the kid rounds the corner, looking up at simon expectantly. "the lady took the money dude. where's my xbox?"
simon chuckles a little, handing the kid a bag from gamestop with the newest xbox in it. the little kid runs off, yelling thank you as he leaves.
then simon ramps it up a little, starts sneaking in at night to watch you sleep and go through your little trinkets. homeboy just wants to know every little thing there is to know about you
he starts showing up to the place you get coffee, where you grocery shop, etc
you start feeling like you're being watched, start hearing things at night that make you sleep a little lighter.
you figure out you're being stalked a few months later. you had started feeling so off that you began seeing a therapist, worried that some mystery mental illness is starting to creep in.
simon starts noticing that you're not sleeping as well, not smiling as much from the paranoia. so he does the next logical step of leaving you notes of reassurance
the first one is when he's watching you sleep one night, on his way out he trips over your cat who seemingly came out of nowhere. he catches himself on the wall, a dull thud echoing throughout your home.
the next morning you find a note, that simply states "sorry about the noise last night, i tripped on your cat. i'll try to be more quiet next time. yours, s."
you immediately start tweaking out. someone was in your house? and they left a fucking note? apologizing of all things?
then you realize that this has probably been going on for months
for some reason it calms you, you've been living in ignorance all this time and you always knew something was off, at least you knew what it was now
and as far as you knew your stalker hadn't done anything dangerous besides, you know, stalking you
so you stay quiet. mostly because you feel insane but a part of you also worries what would happen if you broke your stalker's routine. would he start becoming violent? would the police even have enough information to stop him?
simon takes that as acceptance and an invitation for more contact. so he starts calling you.
the first time is when you're about to leave for work. you answer with a bright "hello, this is y/n" and almost jump when a deep gravelly voice responds. "hi luv. take backroads to work today, there's an accident on the freeway, it'll probably make you late."
before you can respond you hear the "call ended" tone. you rapidly look around your street, seeing no one out of the ordinary. you say fuck it and take the freeway, not wanting to be lured into a trap or something. lo and behold, you're almost 20 minutes late to work.
the calls stop freaking you out when you realize one night, almost dazed, that whoever this man is actually helping you. like a lot.
just the other day after a girl's night out you had been struggling to find an uber around, cursing when the driver canceled on you after waiting for 15 minutes.
you're already about to cry when a black suv rolls up, a middle-aged man with impressive facial hair popping his head out of the window.
"y/n?" you hesitantly say "yes?" and take a step closer to the car.
"i'm your uber, stupid app canceled while i was on the way here. hop in." he opens his own door, tall frame making his way around to the door closest to you, opening it and waiting.
you're admittedly really drunk. and you realize that this might be a horrible idea, but for some reason the story makes sense, and you find yourself slipping into the back of the man's car.
"temp all right for you luv?" you freeze a little, the pet name feeling familiar somehow. you stay quiet, looking at him through the rearview mirror. he makes eye contact with you and suddenly you're blurting it out before you can stop yourself.
"you're not an uber driver, are you?"
he holds eye contact for a second, surprised when he doesn't see fear in your expression, just desperation for the truth. he sighs deeply and looks back at the road.
"nope" your heart leaps into your throat.
"are you..." you didn't even know what to say. "are you, him?"
price knows what you're asking. when ghost called and asked him to pick you up, he knew he shouldn't. the stupid fuck was stalking you for god's sake. but price has a soft spot for his broken LT.
"no. i'm not him."
"do you know him?"
price hesitates. "yeah. i know 'im."
you're quiet for a few minutes, briefly realizing that you're a few streets away from home. you didn't know what you expected, but actually being dropped off unharmed wasn't it.
price turns down your street and suddenly you have a million questions.
"does he hate me? does he want to hurt me? why me? what does he want?"
price puts the car and park, kind of irritated at ghost for putting him in this position and not being normal and just taking you out on a date.
"he's not gonna hurt you, y/n. he just wants to take care of you, make sure you're safe." you stare at him like he's an alien.
price decides that's all he's going to say and leans over the seat to unbuckle you. "time to get to bed youngin."
you slowly grab your purse, grabbing the car handle. you sit for a second, before turning back to the man. "thank you for the ride. and tell, him, thanks, i guess." you don't wait for a response, just get out of the car and walk up to your house.
you turn around and watch the man pull out of your driveway, speeding down your quiet street. you unlock your front door in a daze, still half expecting to be murdered at any second.
your phone rings and you answer without looking at the screen.
"y/n?" it's him. he had gotten a call from price, recapping his drive home with you and started panicking when price shared that you had clocked him not being an uber driver. he didn't know what else to do but call you and try to explain and not lose you.
"it's you."
"y/n, i-" you cut him off.
"i want to meet you."
simon realizes that he is so fucked.
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sturniolo04 · 2 months ago
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No Nut November M.S.
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Bf!Matt x Gf!Fem!Reader
A/N: If you don't like the preadded name in my stories, you can either add your own name or not read it; it's up to you :)
A/n: in honor of it being November 30 we’re not gonna talk about how I’m late to the party!
dividers: @bernardsbendystraws
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You and matt knew this was coming. you guys do it you every year and every year you two never get through the 30 days. Which brings you to now, November 1st.
"baby we have to make it the full 30 this year"
matt groans out to you as you are leaning on your tippy toes hugging him as he allows his palms to rest on your ass. The first not so smart move he made
"hey thats not my fault you couldnt keep it in your pants on day 26"
you retaliate as you huff out leaning your head back as matt rolls his eyes at the memory.
" okay yeah i know but seriously this year because the last thing I need is for Chris to rub it in my face that he has more self control sexually than me with Brynn"
he groans out as you giggle at his reaction.
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"baby what do yu think of this outfit"
you state as you let in into the dressing room with you after putting on the outfit.
"it looks good"
matt simply states back to you admiring you as you check yourself out in the dressing room mirror. Matt had been already genuinely struggling with this whole no sex , no getting himself off even thing for the whole month, why? Simple he has a girlfriend that he cant keep his hands off of and keeping his hands off has proven to be his downfall each year.
"c'mere"
matt simply states needing something to relieve the pressure that he knew was building up. You turn to look at him as he carefully grabs your hand and pulls you over to him as you sit down on his lap, not thinking too much of it because he is your boyfriend right
"Matthewww"
you gasp quietly not trying to be too loud since you two were in the dressing room still. Looking at him giggling you ultimately feeling the problem.
"i knoww"
he groans out allowing his head to lean against the wall. of the dressing room.
"its only day 15 babe come on get up"
you giggle standing up off of his lap as he quickly places his hands over his lap.
"in a minute i have to wait for this to go away"
he groans out with his head still leaning back fluttering his eyes closed.
"how long is that going to take we are in the dressing room and we have to go home"
you ask knowing it takes him and his friend a good 20 minutes to get it together.
"i dont know it's starting to hurt"
he huffs out exhaling deeply looking up at you.
"just tuck it or something"
you giggle at yourself even having to say that sentence to him as he complies.
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"Babyy go put some pants on"
you whine out realizing he must have taken his pajama pants off in the middle of the night probably getting hot to be only left in his calvin kleins. You were starting to feel on edge already which you tend to be in the morning.
"why"
matt smirks knowing exactly why as he begins to stretch to go take a shower.
"dude seriously the fuck you mean why"
you whine out.
"babe im going to take a shower so I don't need them on and I'm eventually not going to need these on either"
matt states referring to his underwear as your face flushes with a shade of pink as the mental image you just got immediately reaching for the pillow you were laying on screaming into it.
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"Dude you need to handle that"
chris chuckles as matt finally makes his way out from his room only dressed in freshlove sweatpants.
"i cant"
matt huffs out looking down to see the problem area running a frustrated hand through his messy bed head from his nap.
" im fully convinced you get horny every hour of the day"
chris chuckles seeming to not have the same struggle as his older brother.
"well no shit dumb ass you and brynn like never made it to that base yet"
matt huffs crossing his arms.
"Matt Chris"
you shout coming downstairs from Nick's room running up to matt and jumping up in his arms.
"hey my love"
matt greets you as he catches you his palms landing on your ass as you were clothed in navy blue nike pro shorts and the corresponding fresh love hoodie that you swiped from him that match the sweatpants he was currently wearing.
" what are you guys talking about"
you question the pair as you rest your head on matt's shoulder.
"oh nothing just how your boyfriend gets horny every single hour of everyday"
chris laughs out as you look at matt with his check flushed with a deep shade of pink.
"shut the fuck up"
matt groans out as he leans down with you still in his arms.
"dont drop me"
you squeal out tightening your grip around his neck
“God i would never’
Matt groans out as your ass slightly rubs up against him.
“Oh my goodness Matthew”
You giggle leaning you head in the crook of his neck leaving a loving kiss on his shoulder.
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“What movie are we watching love birds”
Nick asks as you all are in the living room having your normal Friday movie night.
“I have no clue we could watch back to the future or something”
Chris suggests as brynn his girlfriend sits down next to him with their designated blanket.
“That’s fine with me where is your lover”
Nick chuckles asking Matt.
“Right here I had to change into comfortable clothes”
You states sighing you walk into the common space closing the bathroom door behind you as you begin to walk over in your pajama shorts to take your spot next to your boyfriend on the couch.
“Do we need a blanket”
You ask Matt softly as he places a loving grip on you bare thigh as Nick and Chris bicker about what movie we should watch tonight. Matt secretly loves that you decided to wear your pajama shorts already feeling the sudden tightness in his plaid pajama pants from how perfect the bottoms showcase, your hips and ass.
“ baby’
You question him again when you didn’t get a response. Matt quickly shifts his gaze towards you to make eye contact snapping him out of what it looked like a moment of deep thought from what you could read from his given facial expression.
“ you Okay”
You  ask as he lets out a deep sigh. Matt, finally, giving up and beginning to act on his intrusive thoughts, stand up from the couch, grabbing you by the waist and throwing you over his shoulder with his tattooed, arms tightly gripping your thighs 
“ Matthewww where are we going”
You squeal out from the sudden action Play fully kicking your feet 
“ chris’ you win I give up “
Matt quickly rushes out as he begins to walk towards his in your shared bedroom in the house. it was safe to say that you two decided not to put yourself through the November challenge ever again 
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Taglist
@mintsturniolo @wh0resstuff @emely9274 @ksturnz @spicymuffins03 @dirtylittleheart333 @stayingstromboli
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devil-in-hiding · 3 months ago
Note
I'm having a real bad day... Feels like I'm losing my grasp on literally everything; mentally, financially, emotionally, with my family, etc... Just want you to know that reading through your fics gives me just enough of an escape to get through the day... So, thanks for existing. <3 If you have any 141 x female reader fluff/comfort bouncing around in your head I'd love to read it. 🥺
(I genuinely hope things start to look up for you babe and that your day gets better, it’s still early 🫶🏻. I understand that feeling all too well and it can be overwhelming and overstimulating because your brain is sending panic signals every other second, i’m sending you big hugs)
how about some soft 141 x assistant reader? *doesn’t look at my price x emotional!reader everyone has screamed at for more*
The day had already started terribly, it was a downpour outside, and your car had refused to start that morning. Some jackass didn’t have the decency to slow down, soaking you more on your mad dash towards the base. Your foot slipped off the curb more than once and your ankle was throbbing as you limped your way towards John’s office, defeated and embarrassed.
You would have laughed at the shocked faces, and Ghost’s wide eyes, if it weren’t for your chattering teeth and tears blurring your vision.
“I-I’m s-sorry I’m l-late sir, my car-“
“Bloody hell woman why didn’t you call me?” John grouses, standing from his desk as he sends the boys running with a flick of his wrist. “Towels!”
“Aye!”
“On it Cap!”
Gaz and Soap make a mad dash down the corridor, and Ghost hovers next to you. “How’d you like your tea this mornin’ lovie?” He asks, voice gentle and you feel your lip tremble. “Just anything hot. Thank you Lieutenant.”
He just nods, striding out the door and towards the rec room, and when you turn back around, John is rummaging in one of his drawers. “You should have called my pretty. I would have come and picked you up myself. Walkin’ in the rain like that, what were you thinking?” It’s an affectionate scolding as he takes a shirt and pajama pants (how long had those been there? That damn man was he sleeping in his office again?)
“Here ya are lass, let’s get ye cleaned up.” Soap announces, wrapping a towel around your shoulders as Gaz turns you around, grinning as he places a towel on your head, gently drying your hair.
“Little wet rat.” He snickers, and you gasp, slapping his chest as you cross your arms.
“Arse, how could you say that after I’ve had such an awful morning?” You pout, and he chuckles. “Got that sad look out your eye didn’t I?”
“Oh very cheeky Garrick.” You glare, but there’s a smile tugging at your lips.
“Bleedin’ Jesus hen, what happened to ye ankle?” Soap grunts, crouching down and you wince when he pokes the tender skin around your ankle bone.
“I must have rolled it-“
“You are never walkin’ ‘ere in the bloody rain again, understand?” Ghost states as he reenters the office, mug in hand.
He’s ushering you off your feet in seconds, herding you towards Price’s couch, laying out a towel he plucked from the pile before easing you down.
It was a funny sight, four large, highly trained military men, crouching around you as they inspected your ankle. “Gonna have to cut it.” Price says solemnly, and you choke back a snort as you giggle, covering your mouth at the somber nod the other three give.
“Aye, not much to do about a rolled ankle lass. Desperate times an all.”
“You all are idiots.” You laugh, shaking your head at the pleased looks that spread across their faces.
“There she is.”
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myth1cs · 7 days ago
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Soulmates (Hirai Momo & Myoui Mina x M!Reader)
I FINALLY finished writing this. I'm done, I'm never writing a one shot this long again.
Read part 1: Love Warning (smut)
Word Count: 7,004
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1 month after the events of "Love Warning"
As you were sitting in your office you got a phone call on your office phone.
"Hello?"
"You know what I'm calling for Y/N."
You took a deep sigh, hung up the phone, and made your way to Momo's office.
Ever since you took back the job you quickly realized why you wanted to quit in the first place. The only thing keeping you was the promise of sex with your boss.
Knocking on her door you waited for her to say "Come in." before you went in. "Go ahead close the door and lock it for me Y/N." she told you and you obliged.
"What's wrong Y/N is something on your mind?"
"It's nothing." you state as you make your way over to her.
"You suck at lying just tell me Y/N."
"No really I'm fine."
"I won't let you lick my pussy ever again if you don't tell me what's bothering you. Now tell me what's wrong."
You sighed, there was no getting past her. "Look it's just that I feel like doing this job is wearing me down. The only thing keeping me here is-"
Momo cut you off "Shh no need to say more Y/N I understand. I'm sorry I never paid much attention to your needs. How about you take a week off and I'll have Mina cover your work. Will that work for you?"
"Would that really be fine?"
"It'll be fine. Don't worry I'll let Mina yell at me."
"But who will take over Mina's work?"
"I can do it."
"No Momo I can't take a break if it means that you will have a bigger work load."
"Y/N I'm your boss and it's my job to make sure your mental health is okay. So please let me do this for you."
You knew there was no convincing her otherwise.
"Alright."
"Go ahead and go home and I'll go ahead and call Mina to tell her about her work change."
"Thank you Momo."
You walked out the door and headed to your office to grab your things before you went home.
"H-Han? Why are you in my office?"
"I've been looking for you Y/N."
"Why?"
"I just wanted to check up on you. Lately you've been behaving a little more ... I don't know how to say this without it coming off as weird but I feel as if you've been a little more depressed recently. I just wanted to check up on you maybe ask if you wanted to hangout with me on my lunch break."
"Han I don't know what to say."
Even if you didn't say it you were a little touched by the fact that Ji-sung noticed your struggle. Even Momo who you saw every day didn't notice. Though it was likely that she didn't notice cause she was too busy giving you head.
"Shit did I miss the mark Y/N? I'm sorry that was unprofessional of me."
"No Han it's fine really. But I should tell you that I got a week off from work so my mental health should be fine."
"I'm glad to hear that. Just call me if you ever need someone to complain to."
"Will do."
Suddenly Han's phone buzzed and he pulled it out to check it.
"Damn it."
"What happened?"
"Lee Know is upset I didn't finish my work yesterday."
"Good luck with that."
Han left the room and you started to collect your things.
When you finished collecting your stuff you started heading out but before you could even make it out of your office doors you ran into yet another coworker.
"Mina what are you doing here?"
"So you're going on break for a week?"
Ignoring your question to ask her own ... typical.
"Answer my question first asshole."
"Feisty today huh? Would you do the same if I was Momo?"
"Quit yapping and get to the point."
"Don't you know patience is a virtue? But fine I'll cut to the chase, do you live alone Y/N?"
"Yeah I live alone."
"Good give me your address now."
"Why?"
"Don't you think it's time for you to call someone else your mommy? Momo is focused on giving you pleasure but no one has focused on giving you pleasure. I just want to give that to you."
"What's your relationship with Momo?"
"If you give me your address I'll answer your questions."
"I'll text it to you Mina."
"It wasn't that hard now was it Y/N?"
She smiled at you before she left your office.
You still had many questions to ask her. What was her relationship with Momo and why was she so interested in you?
"I'll think more about it when I get home." you thought to yourself.
-
Once you arrived home you went straight to bed exhausted from the work you've been doing without even bothering to change your clothes.
Before you could fall asleep you heard a knock coming from your front door not long after you laid down on your bed.
"Who the fuck is knocking, why can't they leave me alone?"
Getting up and making your way to the front door. You opened the door and saw Ji-min (Karina) on the other side.
"Karina why are you here and not at work?"
"Today is my day off. The real question is why are you here?"
"I'm on a week break."
"Why?"
You didn't want to tell more people than you should. Karina was the type of coworker that couldn't keep her mouth shut about anything. Not long after she mistakenly thought you hit on Mina she started to talk about it with everyone which started a rumor that you had a crush on Mina.
A few of your coworkers brought it up to you and you had to explain the situation to them. Though you were unsure if the rumors ever reached Momo or Mina.
"I just want a break from work."
"I feel that. So how's it going with Mina?"
"Karina!"
"What? I just want to know if you took any of the advice I gave you."
"Are you just here to bother me?"
"No I'm not, how about you let me in your house."
You moved out of the way and let her in. Karina walked in and walked around your house.
"It's rather small no?"
"Yeah, well I don't want a big place."
"Won't you get bored if you stay here all week?"
"I'll manage."
"Y/N that's sad. How about we go to an event at the end of the week?"
"Event?"
"There's an event going on tonight down the street called "Soulmates". A select few of people will be accepted and get the chance to mingle with others who were accepted."
"I'm not interested."
"Come on if your not going to talk to Mina you might as well try to see if you can get a girlfriend."
"I'll think about it."
"Today's the last day they'll take submissions though!"
"Whatever just sign me up yourself."
"No you have to do it yourself!"
"Why?"
"Because they'll want to interview you."
A low groan came out of your mouth and you knew Karina wouldn't leave you alone unless you agreed.
"Let's go then."
"Would it kill to be able to relax?"
...
Once you arrived at the place where the "Soulmates" event would be taking place Karina led you to the registration area.
There weren't as many people as you thought there would be but then again today was the last day so most people probably already signed up beforehand.
Once it was your turn you walked into the room and sat in front of a woman who was holding a clipboard.
"Please state your full name and what sex you identify as."
"Y/N L/N and I'm a guy."
"Do you prefer Men, Women, or Non-binary?"
"Uhm ... Women I think."
"What's your current occupation."
"I work as a secretary."
"Can you state for which company?"
"Tdoong Entertainment."
"A lot of applications from people who work there it seems." The woman said as she wrote on her clipboard.
"Wait there are others who signed up from the company?"
"Can you say who else who works at Tdoong Entertainment signed up for this event?"
"Sorry sir but I can't share that."
"That's fine."
"Anyways let's continue, so what would you say you're looking for in a partner?"
"Well..."
-
Once you finished answering all her questions she let you go and you met up with Karina.
"So how did it go?"
"I don't think they'll accept me."
"Why not?"
"I feel like she wasn't impressed by my answers."
"Don't say that Y/N I'm sure you'll be accepted."
"By the way the lady mentioned that other people from the company have signed up for the event. Do you know who else signed up?"
"Well other than me I have no idea who else could have signed up."
"I guess it's not my business regardless."
"Want to hangout at your place Y/N?"
As much as you wanted to tell Karina to go home you didn't want to sound rude by denying her offer.
"Sure let's go."
You and Karina headed back towards your house and you told yourself that you didn't really care if you got accepted. After all your having sex with Momo who you find attractive after all. Sure you both aren't "Official" but who cares?
Though you might not want to admit it you really wanted someone who could understand you and support you emotionally. You didn't care about sex with Momo, if she couldn't understand you were experiencing emotional distraught until you directly told her was she really your soulmate?
Once you both arrived at your house you went to sit on the couch and Karina followed you.
"So what are we doing Y/N?"
"Can you just leave me alone?" is what you wanted to tell her.
"Let's just watch a show yeah?"
"Okay, what do you want to watch?"
"How about you pick?"
Karina grabbed the controller sitting on the table and turned on your T.V. "What genre are you feeling?"
"Anything."
She gave you a sly smirk and put on a movie.
You didn't necessarily care about what she put on. Sitting back and closing your eyes trying to finally get some rest.
Unsure of how long you had your eyes closed you were suddenly waken up by the feeling that someone was wrapping their arms around you.
"Karina what are you doing?"
"Look at the movie Y/N."
Looking up to see the movie you saw it was a couple who were talking to each other in a bedroom.
"What about it?"
"Keep watching."
You kept your eyes on the movie but had issues hearing and watching the movie because you were still a bit hazy after waking up.
As the movie went on it suddenly turned explicit as the people in it were quickly discarding their clothes and were being intimate with each other.
It made you a little hot watching such an explicit movie to begin with but now you were watching it with a coworker.
Your cock was getting a bit hard and you were getting worried Karina would notice.
"Can we skip this scene? I'm not a big fan of explicit movies." You asked but Karina didn't answer your question.
Out of the blue you felt hands on your thigh. You looked down and saw that they were Karina's and they were inching closer to your cock.
You were getting nervous and tried to take her hands off of you but you weren't able to pry them off.
Karina's hands were now directly touching your clothed cock and your face was burning red. For the first time since her hands were on your thighs you turned to Karina.
"Y/N you know you can ask me for anything right?"
Unable to control your urges you latched your lips onto hers.
A heated exchange between both of you started and both of your tongues started exploring the others mouth living in the moment.
Your hands reached up for Karina's breasts and you gave them a firm squeeze which elicited a moan from her.
She wasn't about to forget about her own desires and started to rub your clothed cock which made you let out a low groan.
Now your heated exchange was getting sloppy with saliva pouring out of both of your mouths. You pulled away and now rubbed your tongue with Karina's as you changed your hand to the other breast and started to rub them.
You really wanted to tear off her clothes and feel her naked body. Karina however was already ahead of you. She started to pull up her shirt making it half way before you helped her take off the rest, throwing it, and leaving her in her black bra.
Reaching around her body you unclasped her bra letting them fall to the floor. Not wasting your chance you shoved your face in between Karina's breast and used one of your hands to squeeze her ass and the other you used to rub her clothed pussy.
"Ugh ~ Ah" Karina moaned. Her voice echoed throughout your house. Your tongue started to run all over Karina's massive breast and you were determined to make them sopping wet.
Karina moved her hands down your body and slid your pants off your body. She grabbed a hold of your hardened cock through your underwear and started to quickly pump it.
Your face was shoved so deep into Karina's breast that you were basically suffocating but in all honesty you wouldn't mind your final moments being spent in her breasts.
Karina however wasn't about to let that happen and pulled you away. You took a big gasp of air as you were finally able to properly breath for the first time since you shoved yourself in her breasts.
"Why did you pull me away?"
"There is still so much more pleasure to have."
Karina removed your underwear and her remaining clothing then proceeded to sit on your cock. "Ah your cock is stretching me out so damn good Y/N."
She started to ride you moving herself up and down. It drove you crazy how good her pussy felt.
"I bet Momo never fucked you this good!"
She could. But you didn't want to tell Karina that Momo fucked you better due to the fear that she might stop.
"Y-yeah ... totally."
Both of you were now sweating and you took the chance to lick her nipples which were being covered in her sweat. But did you even care?
"Your breasts are so soft and addicting."
"And you can play with them anytime Y/N. Just give me a call and I'll come right over."
Your cock was twitching and Karina took notice. She sped up her movements and you started to suck on her breasts harder.
Wrapping your hands around her body to pull her closer. The intense moment carried on for a few more seconds until both of you ended up cumming on each other.
Both of you were now sweaty and filthy. Your stress from your job seemingly faded as you released your cum into Karina's pussy.
The key word being seemingly. Truth be told sex was only a temporary fix. Eventually it would all come back again eventually and the stress would be stronger.
Though you weren't thinking of that at the moment. Your only concern was the woman who was sitting on you.
Karina stood up and reached out her hand to you.
"We're not done."
Even though you were exhausted you did want to have another round with her.
You grabbed her hand and she pulled you up. Both of you were having issues keeping balance while standing so you were both leaning on each other for support.
She led you to a wall and bent over for you. "Go ahead and fuck my ass Y/N."
Shoving your hardened cock into Karina you messed up her insides. Thrusting in and out at a rapid pace you were fondling with her breasts as you messed up her insides.
"Why do I listen to you so much?"
"Y/N is now really the time to ask these questions?"
You gave her breasts a rough squeeze.
"I just don't know if going to the soulmates event is a good idea."
"You're never going to get the chance to go if you don't cum in me."
Forcing yourself as deep as possible into her ass you came inside of her. Your cum was spilling out of her making a small puddle on the floor.
You pulled out and made your way back to the couch to fall asleep.
-
There was a loud banging on your door that woke you up. You checked the time and saw it was 2:30 AM. Who could be at your door at this hour.
Making your way to your door you opened the door and saw Mina on the other side.
"Why are you here?"
Mina's face went a little red.
"Why do you sleep naked?"
"What are you-"
You looked down and noticed that you didn't have clothes on. Suddenly you remembered that you had sex with Karina.
Quickly closing the door you rushed to your room and quickly put some clothes on. "Karina must have left after I fell asleep."
Going back downstairs to open the door for Mina and let her in your house.
"So do you sleep naked or were you having a one night stand?"
"Neither."
You led her to your kitchen and both of you took a seat.
"You don't have to lie to me."
"I don't owe you anything."
"Whatever, I'm here to answer your questions that you've had for me. After all that was apart of the deal for you giving me your address."
"Oh yeah."
"So what do you want answers to."
"How did you know Momo was going to have sex with me?"
"Are you talking about the first time you came to talk to me in my office?"
"Yes."
"I have history with her."
"What history?"
"Well ..." She took a deep sigh.
"I didn't think I'd ever tell anyone this but I guess I have to now."
You were still sleepy after getting woken up at night but you forced yourself to stay awake. You had to know more about Mina.
"Look before you were hired I had your position. I dealt with the same shit you have to right now and just like you I got tired of the job. I was going to quit and similar to you she begged me to stay ruining her health all for the sake of the company."
She suddenly stopped talking. Taking a moment to collect her thoughts. "Do you mind if I grab a glass of water?"
"Go ahead."
Mina got up and got herself a glass of water. Taking a sip before she continued.
"I was worried about her just like you."
"So does she do this with everyone?"
"I don't know but I don't think so."
"What happened next?"
"Well I did the same thing you did. And she also had sex with me just like you. She promised to do it with me whenever as long as I stayed. But then you were hired."
Mina gripped the glass cup. Taking another sip before continuing.
"Since you had more qualifications than me I got demoted and the deal I had with Momo was off and her focus was all on you."
"Is that why you didn't care about her?"
"Yes that's exactly why. Truth be told I only offered having sex with you for my own benefit."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I figured that if you preferred having me over Momo then I could convince you to quit and I would be able to be her secretary again. That way I could have Momo to myself."
"Wait were you just going to leave me after you did all this."
"You want the truth?"
"Yes."
"Yes I would have left you if my plan succeeded."
"I appreciate the honesty but damn."
"Well I originally came her to have sex with you but I'm sure you don't to after hearing it is only for my benefit."
"We could do it for fun."
"Yeah right Y/N. No offense but I don't like men."
"I understand. You're free to sleep here though I'm sure your tired."
"No I'm good."
"Suit yourself."
"I'll see you next week Y/N."
"See you."
Mina left your house leaving you alone once again.
"Guess I can scratch her off my potential "Soulmate" list."
The next day came and you weren't sure what to do. You settled on laying on your bed watching a movie when you suddenly received a message on your phone.
"Congrats Y/N you've been accepted to attend the "Soulmates" event happening at the end of the week! For further details please click on the link attached to this message"
You looked at the message and finally made your decision.
"I'm going to the Soulmates event."
-
The week flew by and you were waiting for the day the soulmates event would start.
On the day before the event was going to start you heard a knocking on your door. You went to open the door and to your surprise you saw Momo.
"Momo? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"
"I'm having someone else cover it. Besides I think we need to talk anyway."
"Talk about what?"
"You see I've been thinking and ... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."
"What could you possibly be sorry about?"
"I should have realized you were struggling much sooner. And since I didn't I feel like I've been neglecting you in that way."
Your eyes softened. You never blamed anything on Momo after all you were the person who made the decision to stay.
"Don't say that Momo none of what I've been going through was your fault."
"But it is my fault."
You pulled Momo into a hug and held her tightly into your arms.
"Don't say that Momo. You have done nothing wrong but I wouldn't mind if you paid a little more attention to me."
She hugged you back and smiled.
"I can do that for you."
"Thank you."
"Hey Y/N I know that the company is going to be closed tomorrow but I won't be able to be with you tomorrow."
"That's fine I'll be busy myself tomorrow also."
"Really what for?"
"Personal things."
"Okay well take care alright."
"I will."
"See you back to work Y/N! And hopefully with a better mental state."
-
Today was the day the soulmates event was scheduled to happen. You got yourself ready beforehand and were now making your way to the event.
Once you found a parking space you started getting a little anxious. "What if I'm not satisfied with my soulmate? Or what if I don't even get one?" You thought to yourself but you tried to reassure yourself that everything will be fine.
You got out of your car and made your way inside. Once you stepped in you were directed to a room where other participants were.
"The event will start in just a few minutes sir. Feel free to chat with the others though."
Once you were in the room the quickly recognized a few of the people who showed up.
"Momo, Mina, Han, and Karina are all here?"
You didn't recognize the others.
You sat down at a chair next to someone you didn't know.
"Hey my name is Choi Ji-su but you can just call me Lia. What's your name?"
"Names Y/N nice to meet you Lia."
"Based off looks who do you have your eyes on?"
A bit out of the blue question and you weren't sure how to answer.
"Well ... no one really. I think everyone looks equally beautiful."
"That's such a boring answer you know."
"Well who do you have your eyes on?"
She pointed at a girl who was sitting at the far left.
"Her."
You looked at the girl Lia pointed to and you have to admit she was attractive.
"Hello everyone I'd like to welcome you all to today's soulmate event. Everyone here was selected by us. We wanted people who were different to have a chance to mingle with each other. Hopefully you all find a soulmate."
As the woman scanned the room she suddenly had a look on her face. "It seems someone didn't show up. I'm afraid to say that one of you will be walking away without a soulmate."
Everyone started to make their own count and realized she was right. A feeling of worry overcame everyone, after all no one wanted to be the person who left without a soulmate.
"Well regardless we'll move on. So first we'll let everyone have a chance to introduce themselves and then we can move on."
She left the room and everyone looked around to see if anyone would take the lead.
"Well I guess I'll start and we can just go left. Hello my name is Myoui Mina."
"My name is Kaito Yuki."
"Hirai Momo."
"Han Ji-sung."
"Yu Ji-min but I go by Karina."
"Kim Nam-joon but you can call me RM."
"Y/N L/N."
"Choi Ji-su but you can also call me Lia."
"Hwang Yeji."
The women walked back into the room and handed everyone a piece of paper and a pencil.
"Alright everyone I've given you a piece of paper and a pencil. Based on first impressions write down someones name. The person who has the most votes will get to choose 2 people to have lunch with on the top floor. Everyone else will eat here in the dining room. Feel free to write your own name. Give me your paper once you write down a name."
Nobody wrote down a name right away. It seems like everyone is putting some thought into their choice.
Yeji was the first to write a name down and give it to the lady. Afterwards more people started writing names and turning them in. Only a few people still hadn't written a name and you were one of them.
You were struggling to pick someone. There was no way you could find your soulmate based on luck.
"If I had to pick based off my limited interactions then I would have to pick..."
-
"The winner of the popular vote is Mrs. Myoui Mina. Mina once you pick the two people you want to take to lunch with then our staff can escort you to your room."
After Mina quickly scanned the room it wasn't long for her to pick.
"Momo and Y/N."
All three of you were led upstairs and into a room. "Feel free to have a moment to look over our menu. I'll be back in a bit to take your orders."
You and Momo sat next to each other while Mina sat across both of you. The room was silent, everyone was waiting to see who would be the one to speak up first. The silence was deafening.
Momo eventually cleared her throat.
"So Mina why'd you pick us?"
"I feel that I need to ... 'discuss' a few things with you."
"Uh-uhm."
"What are you talking about?"
You stayed silent.
Mina let out a sigh "Momo ... I love you so much. I don't want you to be with Y/N anymore."
Momo's cheeks turned red.
"I - I didn't know you felt that way Mina."
"You're so pretty Momo will you be mine?"
"What's pretty about me?"
"Your soft well kept hair, pretty face, and those massive set of-"
"Screw it Mina I can't wait any longer: kiss me."
Mina got up from her seat and rushed over to Momo. Her tongue slid into Momo's mouth. She put her hands inside of Momo's shirt, sliding her hands up and feeling Momo's abs.
"You're so strong Mo."
Momo smiled at Mina's compliment. She wrapped her hands around Mina's head and pulled her as close as she could.
Unsure of what you should be doing you kept watching the scene unfold in front of you. Part of you felt weird for watching them be intimate with each other but the other part of you couldn't muster up the will to look away. But you couldn't help but notice the difference in the way Momo had sex with you and how she's having it with Mina.
Mina raised her hands up Momo's body. Momo moaned into her mouth as she did so.
Before Mina could finish her foreplay a knock came on the door.
Quickly Mina got off Momo and rushed back to her seat.
"Have you three decided on your order?"
-
Mina and Momo were chatting with each other while you just kept your thoughts to yourself. Momo noticed and decided to rope you into their conversation.
"You want to join us next time Y/N?"
Looking up you saw Mina made a face of disgust at Momo.
"Why are you asking Y/N if he wants to join without asking me first? I don't want to have a threesome with a fucking guy."
"Mina it's rude to invite Y/N and not include him."
"I only invited him here because he was the only other person I knew. I'm not about to have some stranger watch us have sex Momo."
"But Mina-"
"What are you telling me you actually like men?"
"Well no but I kinda made a deal with him."
"Psh fine."
Momo leaned towards you and whispered into your ear. "Between you and me you're not that bad."
Not that bad?
"Th-thanks I guess."
"By the way Y/N if your filthy cock even lightly brushes me I will rip it off your body with my bare hands."
"R-right I understand."
"Damn Mina that's more harsh than I ever went with you or Y/N."
-
Before the next round of voting everyone had to make a gift and give it to someone. The three options were making a ring, mug cup making, and making a perfume.
Making a mug sounded bland but you weren't confident in being able enough to make a ring so you settled on making a perfume.
You sat alone for a long time and were a bit worried you were the only one to pick it until you heard footsteps coming into the room.
"It was Y/N right?"
"Kaito why are you here?"
"Couldn't leave you alone here."
"Well thanks for keeping me company."
"No problem."
You didn't want to sit in silence for the whole time so you decided to make some small talk.
"So where are you from?"
"I'm from Fujioka. I'm a student there actually."
"Really?"
"Yeah ... so where are you from?"
"I'm from ..."
"I've never been there but I'm sure it's nice."
"So who are you interested in?"
"Probably Karina, she was really caring and nice at the lunch we had. What about you, who are you interested in?"
"That's a hard question."
"Why's that? Momo and Mina had lunch with you did neither of them peak your interest?"
"More like they peaked each other's interest."
"Lesbians?"
"Yeah."
"That's good for them. But I guess you're a bit disappointed huh?"
"Its not that I'm just worried that I won't find someone."
"I understand how you are feeling. But maybe the person who your supposed to end up with is someone you haven't met or someone who you're least expecting."
"I don't know Kaito. I mean I was kind of in a relationship but I didn't feel happy afterwards. Only certain moments brought me joy."
"Well maybe you should look for different people. Those who can give you those feelings of happiness as much as possible."
"Thanks for the advice. I'll try to keep it in mind."
You couldn't say someone has necessarily brought you true "happiness". But then again...
-
When it was time to give someone your gift you thought back to Kaito's words.
Who has brought you the most happiness? Is that even measurable? But when you looked at their eyes. You felt relief almost a calming feeling. You walked up to them and handed them the perfume you made.
"Is this for me?"
"For you."
"Th - thank you Y/N I don't know what to say. I wasn't expecting this from you."
You simply smiled when you looked at their face.
"No problem. Besides I don't think I've felt better than when I was able to be around you."
-
Before getting to have everyone pick a soulmate everyone got a chance to talk to someone they wanted to.
Everyone picked the person they had their eyes on and it slowly reached your turn.
"Y/N Momo has requested to speak to you."
"Coming!"
You were led to the room and were left alone with Momo.
"Why'd you request to speak to me?"
"Y/N I know we talked yesterday but I just wanted you to know that I'll try harder for you."
"What are you saying?"
"I - I know you probably don't want me as your soulmate. But I just want you to know that I know I can't pick up on minor details but if you ever wanted to be in a relationship with me then I'd try harder to understand your emotions."
"Momo ... what about Mina?"
"I love her. But I was hoping you'd be okay if I switched between you and her."
-
You were second to last and you took your chance to talk to Lia a bit more. You weren't expecting your name to be called but to your surprise.
"Y/N someone has requested to speak with you."
"Who could possibly request to speak with me?" you thought to yourself. Momo is the only person who you had a romantic connection with so you weren't sure who would call your name.
"H - Han?!"
"Y/N its been a while huh?"
"Why'd you call me up here?"
"Well I just thought I'd get your advice on something."
"Go on."
"Well I was speaking to Karina but I also have been getting close with Yeji. I just don't know who to go for."
You chuckled
"Why are you laughing?"
"I just never thought I'd see you so worried about a relationship."
"Come on I can be fun to!"
"When you first asked to hangout with me I thought you would take me to a brothel."
"Y/N you wound me. You think I'd go to a brothel?!"
"You wouldn't?"
"Unless your taking me I don't think I would. Would you go to one?"
"Who knows maybe I'd go if you were there."
Han's face went a bit red.
"Oh how romantic, I see why Momo likes you Y/N."
"Come on you have to admit that it wasn't that bad of a line!"
-
The way people would pick there soulmate was the following:
One contestant would stand in front of the room looking away from everyone else.
The people who want to be with that person would stand behind them.
The person at the front would then turna round and pick who they want to be their soulmate.
Since only 9 people were there it seemed like one person would go home alone.
It was Mina's turn and only you and Momo were left.
"Let's go Y/N." Momo reached out her hand to you.
Begrudgingly you took her hand and both of you stepped up.
When Mina turned around she was a bit disconsolate to find out Momo was holding hands with you. She knew that if she wanted Momo you would have to also be there.
"Is it fine if I pick these two?"
The staff was rather surprised. No one has ever asked to take two people at the same time.
"Well ... I don't see why not."
Both you and Momo rushed up to Mina and hugged her.
"Ugh you idiot get off me."
Momo let go and backed away.
"No not you the other idiot!"
You couldn't help but laugh.
-
All three of you went to Momo's house after the "Soulmates" event ended.
"I don't get why you want Y/N to be a part of this Momo."
"I owe it to him."
"Just don't come near me Y/N."
Momo and Mina started undressing.
They both wanted to have sex but Momo didn't want to leave you behind.
You started to take your clothes off and Mina looked away.
"At least do it out of my eye sight!"
Once you all got undressed Momo jumped onto Mina.
"Mina you have such a pretty face. Will you let me ruin you?"
"Do whatever you want."
Momo started to give her hickeys. Roughly pressing her lips onto Mina and sucking to mark her. Mina rubbed her fingers on Momo's abs. They weren't as defined as hers but she loved them regardless.
"Your body is so precious Momo I'm so glad I can have you."
Not wanting to be left out you made your way onto the bed, being careful to not accidentally touch Mina and grabbed onto Momo's breasts while having your cock pressed against her back.
"Uh I love your hands Y/N!"
"Your breasts are so big Momo I want you so badly."
Momo had a rather big ego now that both you and Mina were fighting to give her pleasure.
Mina kicked you off the bed and wrapped her legs around Momo's waist. "Don't pay attention to him. Focus only on me."
She pulled Momo in closer and their breasts were pushed up against each other. "Mina I love you." Momo said as she reached for Mina's ass.
You got back on the bed and penatrated Momo's ass with your cock which made her yelp.
"Agh!"
"Momo are you okay?"
"I'm fine Mina."
Momo went down to Mina's breasts and started licking her nipple. "Your body tastes sweet."
"It's only for you to use Momo. Please use my body however you want."
Mina pressed her fingers on Momo's clit lightly and got Momo to moan. She felt the vibration on her nipples.
You sped up your thrusts into Momo's ass and Momo put her fingers into Mina.
"Please Momo go faster I want to cum on your pretty fingers."
Momo smiled and ran her fingers down Mina's sides. "Mina I want to enjoy your body as long as I can."
Mina was breathing rapidly.
Momo switched her attention to Mina's other nipples and started to squeeze the other.
She inserted 4 fingers into Mina and she took in a big breath of air.
"Ah! Momo keep going!"
She started to thrust in Mina at a steady pace and Mina started seeing stars.
Pulling your cock out of Momo you went next to her and pulled her head up.
"What do you-"
She wasn't able to finish speaking before you pressed your lips onto hers.
"Your lips are so soft."
You rubbed your tongue around her lips and Momo put her hand into Mina's mouth making her gag.
Mina's gagging faded into the background as your kissing intensified.
You stood on the bed aligning your cock to Momo's face. Momo took your cock in her warm mouth and ran her tongue around your hard cock.
She was sloppy with it making your cock wet and slippery making it easier to slide in and out of her mouth. You grabbed Momo's head and shoved her into your cock.
Tears ran down Momo's eyes and she was choking on your cock.
Mina wasn't happy with you stealing Momo's attention. She shoved four fingers into Momo.
She was getting overstimulated. Momo got your cock out of her mouth to get a breath of air. She choked up a lot of spit and it fell onto the bed sheets.
"Put your filthy cock back in your pants Y/N. This doesn't involve you."
Mina grabbed Momo and dragged her on top of her body wrapping her arms around her. She switched their positions so she was on top of Momo.
Putting one hand on Momo's breast and using her other hand to shove her fingers in Momo's tight pussy. Thrusting rapidly so she reaches her high faster.
"Mina your so-"
"Perfect? I know Momo don't worry you'll start seeing stars soon."
She sucked on her nipples twirling her tongue on her boob. Momo loved how Mina used her body.
"Momo your so perfect."
She came on her fingers and Mina licked her fingers. "Mhm you taste amazing Momo. I only want to eat this every day."
Momo was glad with the worship she was receiving and started to repay her. Momo put her pussy on top of Mina and shoved her fingers in her again.
Mina licked her pussy shoving her tongue deep into her. Momo couldn't handle it and gave up on thrusting in Mina and started to lick her pussy also.
This scene in front of you was making you horney to the point you started to pump your own cock to make yourself cum.
Momo came all over Mina's face. Mina squished Momo's butt while licking all of Momo's cum that she could reach with her tongue.
Not too long after Mina came all over Momo and she passed out afterwards.
"Momo that was amazing."
"I know Y/N. Want help with that?"
You nodded your head and Momo once again started sucking your cock. She used her hand to fondle your balls.
"Do you really think a three way relationship can work?"
"Of course Y/N I'm your soulmate just as much as I am Mina's."
Pulling out your cock, semen covered Momo's face.
You collapsed into her and she wrapped you around her arms collapsing onto the bed.
"I'll take care of you from now on Y/N."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can you find out who Y/N gave his gift to?
Starring: You Mina, Momo (Twice) Karina (Aespa) Han (Stray Kids) Yeji, Lia (Itzy) Kaito (Jujutsu Kaisen Phantom Parade) RM (BTS)
I apologize if towards the end the pacing felt more rushed. I got tired of working on this and just wanted to move on.
I didn't even proof read this because I'm just so sick of this.
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narizaki · 7 months ago
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bad habits   suna rintaro x reader
―   tags   gender neutral reader,   fluff,   childhood friends to lovers
―   notes   wc is around 1.2k,   maybe ooc suna,   thank you for 100 followers, here's my gift to you <3
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rintaro has many bad habits.
he’s well aware of them — so much so that he has a mental list of them. number 5 on the list is how he gets lazy during volleyball matches whenever he knows his team is in the lead. number 4 is how he never bothers to even attempt to mediate fights. though, he figures that one hardly counts as a bad habit, seeing as it’s the result of spending years around the miya twins. they would rather die than let anyone but kita or their mother get in between of their debacles. 
“tell me a secret, rin,” you hum into the phone.
you and rintaro have ingrained late-night phone calls into your routines after graduating high school and separating your own ways. with him working as a professional volleyball player, you hardly see each other anymore. he's always too busy with traveling and training, despite the fact you still live in the same city. although he knows you’d never tell him, he’s aware that you were upset when he began to have less and less time to talk to you. after all, he hadn’t spent the majority of his life with you to not know what makes you tick.
so, even though he’s stumbling over his own feet walking home, he’s still on the phone with you. he vaguely understands what you say before spouting out the first thing he thinks of — another bad habit of his.
number 3: he loses his filter when he’s tired. 
rintaro never had much of a filter to begin with, but his reserved nature essentially acted as one. he was certainly less blunt than people like kita and atsumu. as the years passed, though, it was made apparent to him that he became more curt with his words when in dire need of rest. he surmises that it’s something that happens to everybody, though, so he forgives himself for it.
“you know, i used to like you when we were kids,” he mumbles. “actually, it lasted until high school.”
you sputter on the other end, choking on your water. rintaro laughs at your incessant coughing.
“that was not funny! and, what? suna rintaro, are you drunk right now?” you yell into the receiver. the volume of your voice makes him wince, forcing him to tug his phone away from his ear. regardless, he laughs a little harder.
“full name? what happened to rin?” he almost whines, kicking a rock. you grumble on the other line. “and i’m not drunk.”
“rin,” you sigh, and he smiles at the nickname. “i know you like to fuck around with people, or whatever, but this isn’t something to joke about.” your tone is serious, almost scolding. rintaro only frowns. he’s not lying. he wouldn’t lie about something like this. he couldn’t, especially to you.
“i’m not joking, i swear. i did like you… or, still do?” he thinks aloud, questioning himself. rintaro is barely registering what he’s saying — mind fuzzy from the harsh day. his coach was particularly unforgiving today, leaving him sore and tired as he drags his feet back to his apartment. still, he continues. “yeah, still do, actually.”
“rin,” you say, exasperated, “you like me? as a friend, you mean?” 
even in his slightly delirious state, rintaro can tell you’re trying to save face — for you or for him, he’s unsure. what he does know is that you’d never thought he’d see you in a romantic light. it was his fault, really — you’d always been a hopeless romantic, but rintaro knew you’d considered him off-limits. aside from your long-term friendship, there was also his disinterested approach to dating. 
if only you knew how wrong you were.
he was never uninterested in dating — he just always had his eyes on you. that was where another bad habit of his shone through — number 2: he never tells anyone, anything. that, mixed with his hard-to-read demeanor, meant that nobody truly knew how he felt about you. of course, those around him could tell that you were close. everybody knew that you and rintaro had grown up together, so it was only a matter of time until people started assuming that the two of you had something more. while rintaro never gave those people the time of day, you’d always nervously deny their pries.
atsumu and osamu would always tease him (and sometimes, you) about it, but they quickly learned to give up once they saw his feigned indifference toward the subject and your immediate rejection to their statements. his default response was to brush them off — he’d rather die than give the twins out of all people anything to use against him, especially if it was about you. he’d never see the light of day again if miya atsumu was found teasing rintaro about something.
“rin? hello?” your voice echoes throughout his head, forcing rintaro into reality. 
“yeah, sorry,” he mumbles. he’s considering taking his word back — telling you that yeah, he does mean it as a friend. but he decides that he’s already too deep in and fuck it, he’s going to tell you. 
“i do like you…more than a friend. i have for a while, and i know it’s my fault that you had no idea, but i guess i’m telling you now?” rintaro grimaces at the uncertainty in his own voice. he’d always been so sure of himself — or, at least put effort into appearing as such. you’ve always been the exception to that, though, and he supposes that’s a fact that’ll never change. 
a beat of silence passes until you reply. 
“yeah. it is your fault.” you breathe. 
suddenly, all the air is gone from rintaro’s lungs. it forces him to stop in the middle of the sidewalk, shoes skidding against the concrete. his grip on his phone tightens, and he’s considering mumbling out some half-assed excuse about how he is, in fact, drunk. he’ll pray that you believe him, so he can run back to his apartment and maybe actually get drunk before pretending that everything is okay.
thousands of thoughts run through his head. some of them are about how he’s going to play this off, while others are about where you stand with him now. is this what being a setter feels like? having to go through hundreds of different situations to decide what will bring the best outcome? how shitty. he vaguely feels sympathy for atsumu. 
that is, until your laugh fills the air around him. 
“but you’ve told me now, so i think you should turn around.” 
he spins on his heel, coming face-to-face with you. your appearance is disheveled, looking as if you just ran to him — which, you did, based on the harsh breaths you’re taking — and you only have a thin t-shirt and sweatpants on. your phone is still by your ear, grinning at him. it’s childish and hopeful, reminding rintaro of the smiles you would send his way when the two of you would play on the swings during recess. he adored them just as much then as he does now.
rintaro has many bad habits. he’s aware of them, and despite what others may say, he’s come to terms with them.
but as he rushes forward and cups your face into his hands, he knows what he’d say if someone were to ask him what his worst habit was.
number 1: he can never say no to you.
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ariesprincesss · 25 days ago
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Synastry & Love Transits (from personal experience!!) ft. love asteroids!
(Disclaimer, I am not an astrologer just a silly girl that knows a ton of information on astrology🤓)
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Transits
ෆ I had transit north node ,neptune 7h , & pluto 5h when i experienced an intense relationship!
ෆ Transit North node 7h square natal moon- I feel like this hints at the overall feeling of this relationship during this time. This relationship definitely affected my mental state and I thought about this relationship even after it ended.
ෆ Transit Pluto was also conjuct my natal 5h chiron and I feel like this can also allude to a wound being opened in love or through this intense love.
ෆ Transit neptune sextile my natal chiron & this kind of sounds like having fun for the sake of having fun “ doing it for the plot.” in my mind this relationship was perfect & ignored all of the red flags until it was too late🤐.
Synastry
ෆ My moon in his 4th I felt VERY motherly over him. Literally just wanted to take care of him, give him things, make him food,etc😭
ෆ My union asteroid (1585) was in his 11h & we met online before meeting in person!!
ෆ venus & mars in his 9h- Because of him i actually left my house & did something fun and exciting. I felt like he was bringing me a sense of adventure & showing me new things.
ෆ 8h mercury overlay- Walking on eggshells for sure. The way i would say things would often agitate him & i spoke a lot about mental health with him. Talked candidly about sex with him.
ෆ His sun in my 9h- Had sooo much fun with him. Definitely felt so much more adventurous & had a new sense of direction because of it.
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ෆ 10h overlay His Venus, Mars, & Saturn was in my 10th house. I would post him to my insta story, whereas i would have never done that for anyone else. i initially felt revitalized because of this relationship and wanted others to know just how happy i was. I also was out in public a lot more with him.
ෆ his valentine(447) aspecting my sun- First relationship i EVER actually felt like i could love & deserved to be loved back. The first time we met we spent like 10 hours together LOL
ෆ his destinn(6583) conjuct my sun- it may have felt like fate or “destiny” to meet him. could have been fated to enter each others life.
ෆ his karma (3811)square my sun- He Could’ve seen me as a karmic partner, receiving karma good or bad through your interactions with this person
ෆ his moon square my mercury- another walking on EGGSHELLS. Literally couldn’t say anything without offending him or him taking it the wrong way.
ෆ his moon aspecting my 6h uranus- I had changed my routine around to fit him in. I Would go to sleep on facetime,wake up on facetime😭
ෆ my mercury conjunct his kiss asteroid- Thought about kissing with him a lotttt. Always wanted to kiss him, we could nottt get enough of it.😭
ෆ his sun conjunct my venus- First relationship where I felt really seen. Felt so beautiful and attractive around him and he helped my self confidence
ෆ my northnode conjuct his mercury- I really felt like he gave me good advice & that he really listened. I opened up about a lot of personal things i’ve never told anyone before. There were things he said that even now i use as omens to see the brighter side of things.
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thevampireladyambrosia · 20 days ago
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The Professor's Pet
Request via anon.
Pairing: Male!Kitsune x Female!Reader.
Content Warning: Power dynamics (professor x student), manipulation, age gap, knots.
You have always been a good student. At least at this university. A school involving magic was the dream. As a human, however, you struggled a bit. Especially with charms. In fact, you frequently explode them by pouring too much energy in. You can't help it. You are just so excited. Thus, you fell behind in class.
The professor, an older kitsune with all nine tails, noticed this. He had been trying to help you as much as he could, but he could only do so much. So you quickly began to fail the class.
This caused you to panic. You could only go to this place because you got a full ride scholarship. A scholarship that requires a certain GPA to keep.
So you doubled down. You tried harder. You stayed up later. Only for things to become more of a disaster. Your anxious energy explodes charms more easily. Your sleep deprivation led to you making mistakes you normally wouldn't.
It was very late one night that you decided you'd approach the professor the next day. You knew his office hours from the beginning of the year; from when he had gone over the syllabus. Maybe you could ask for an extra credit essay? Something. Anything. You had to pass this class.
The next day goes slowly. It's like the universe knew you had something that needed done, so it slowed down time. You found yourself glancing at the clock every couple minutes. You were an anxious mess. The professor seemed nice enough. But would he help you?
When the time came for you to approach his office you somehow grew more anxious. You swallowed the lump in your throat and forced your feet to move. You entered his office.
He looked up and smiled. He greeted you and gestured for you to take a seat.
“I'm assuming you're here about your grade?” He stated. He said it casually and in a nonchalant way. But it was anything but that to you. It determined the rest of your life. Failing would mean not being able to continue at this school. It would mean everything had been for nothing.
“Um… yeah.” You replied. You mentally kicked yourself. You wanted to say more, but it would come out. Like your mouth was too dry, and your lips were sewn shut.
“I went ahead and took a look at your assignments. It appears you weren't absent for much. Rather, it became apparent that you had a knack for exploding things throughout the year. As you likely know, I could have done something if you had excused absences. I could have let you make up the work for partial credit. Simply failing is different, though. If I let you redo it, you'd gain an unfair advantage over your classmates.”
You sucked in a breath. There it was. What you had feared all along. Your face fell. You were really going to fail the class.
“But…” You immediately snapped back into attention. There was a glimmer of hope in that simple word. “I do reward effort. And you, my dear student, have put in effort. Tell me, how far are you willing to go to secure your grade?”
You blinked. Did he want you to clean the classroom? Write a huge report? Do a presentation?
“I'd do anything. Anything at all.” You said confidently.
“That's a bold statement.” The kitsune said. But you didn't miss the glimmer in his eye. The same one people have when they get something they want. When they succeed at something. Satisfaction.
“It's the truth,” you replied. And it was. At this point in time, you'd do just about anything to secure your grade. Aside from doing something that harmed others.
“How about I give you a bonus assignment? One worth a good chunk of points. It would be distributed and added onto your other grades. But you'd have to keep it a secret. And I'd want something in return.”
You couldn't believe your ears. A chance to pass. You'd have to be positively insane to say no. But what did he want in return?
“I'll do it. Whatever it is, I'll do it. And I won't tell a soul.” You couldn't believe your own mouth. This was basically cheating. This would make you a fraud. The kitsune seemed to recognize where your mind was heading. And he acknowledged it in his next statement.
“It's not cheating. I'm a professor. I would know. The greatest minds weren't just people who were good at things. They were people who were passionate about things. You, my dear, have passion. You have drive. You have perseverance. Is it really cheating? Or are you just getting acknowledged for your work?”
You felt strange. He had praised you. Maybe he was right? I mean, you did work hard.
“But, even more amazing, is the fact you know how to work the system.” You looked at him. What was he talking about? “Wearing that short skirt you know would drive men crazy.”
Your eyes widen. You open your mouth to protest, to explain, but his hand slips under your skirt. It catches you so off guard that you don't even get a word out. Luckily, he only rubs your thigh before withdrawing his hand.
“I-” He cuts you off.
“You said anything, remember?” He's smiling at you. “What I want is simple. I want you to let me stuff your pretty little cunt with my cock. Just this once. After all, that's what you offered when you said anything, yes?”
He had a point. You did say anything. And maybe one time was worth it for a good grade?
“Okay. I consent. Just this once.” The professor didn't hesitate. You could barely process anything before you were bent over his desk. Your underwear were pushed aside as he roughly shoved a finger in. It stung slightly but quickly faded as your cunt lubricated itself.
It would help if you didn't enjoy it. If your cunt wasn't sending waves of pleasure into your brain, making it short circuit. When his thumb found your clit and a second finger joined, you moaned. It was loud and filthy. It made you feel disgusted with yourself.
He fingered you until you came around onto his hand hard. It was the most intense orgasm of your life. And it was given to you by your professor. Your way older professor. But you didn't care anymore.
He made you beg for his cock. Made you plead. And you did. He didn't even bother to undress you nor himself. He just pulled his growing erection out and kept your underwear pushed aside. He shoved into you in one swift motion that made you cry out and see stars.
He fucked you rough and hard, his pace unforgiving. And when you came, you gushed around his cock. If you thought the orgasm earlier was intense, this one was unreal. You became practically boneless. Your vision went white. You could have sworn you passed out for a brief moment.
And then he came. Buried deep in your cunt. You felt the warmth of his seed fill you. And something strange happened too. It was like he got bigger. Like his penis expanded, locking him in. You had expected him to pull out. You had assumed incorrectly.
It wasn't even a minute after his penis went back to normal that he fixed your clothes and ushered you out. Something about office hours being over.
You walked back to your dorm on wobbly legs, your professor's cum dripping down your thighs. You pressed them together to hide it as much as possible.
When you arrived back, you showered and went to bed. A few days later you had a B in his class.
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lizzy019 · 6 months ago
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НИКТО Personality Analysis
-> Information Given
Some form of dissociation disorder
Tortured by Zakhaev, leaving heavy scarring and forcing him to wear a mask to avoid ridicule, fear from others, and shunning by society
Age is in the range of late 20s to mid 30s, not confirmed yet
-> Theories
Nikto says "us" a lot in his voicelines, and in his description it only says he has ACUTE DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER, which is when you zone out and fall into a heavy state of haziness and confusion for a short period of time before regaining focus. However, DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER is all about dissociating for however long, the range is limitless, and another identity will take over while you're spaced out. Therefore, this is why I believe Nikto had DID and not ADD.
Nikto has this animation where he's supposedly showing that he'll slit your throat in a very oddly realistic manner. What pressure to use and how he'd end off your head. I believe he's witnessed and first handedly experienced this when Zakhaev tortured him, and he began doing it while in the military. Why? Nikto has a very gruff, harsh tone, but it's only when he's yelling and putting too much pressure to his vocal cords. I believe he has a scar on his neck, maybe a bit too close to his esophagus and lower chin that didn't heal properly and affected how he projected his voice.
Now, Nikto has one voice line that goes, "I hear enough voices, I don't need another!" Referring back to my first theory, I believe Nikto also has very short patience and all of his alters do as well. His whole personality is built off of acting fast, doing as instructed, and constantly going. You never see Nikto stop. I believe this voiceline is a very strong giveaway to a part of Nikto's personality on how he functions. It also shows how his temper is kind of wonky.
-> Personality Scan-over
Nikto is presumed as a very harsh Russian man, brutalized by his captor Zakhaev and taken advantage of when he was at his absolute lowest. This has caused major issues with trust, abandonment, and self-love. Nikto struggles with expressing himself, often resulting in violence and anger as heard in his voicelines.
He typically doesn't like speaking to people, only his fellow military personnel, but even then it isn't guaranteed. Nikto is a very self-sufficient person, he's head-on about lots of things and isn't scared to take charge when need be. His main frustration is when people don't listen to him, he already lacks control mentally with all his alters.
Nikto is the type of person who struggles with letting people into his life, or into his head in general. He's reserved, too reserved. He doesn't like letting people in, and who could blame him with all that he's suffered?
But if you do manage to break down his barriers, expect tough love and lots of strange surprises. He'll become more protective of you in a physical sense, not caring too much about you emotionally. If you've brought him comfort in any way, shape or form, he will tell himself how much he cannot lose that solace you bring him.
Nikto is cold, and typically isn't good in relationships. In his voicelines, he's very aggressive and doesn't show any sympathy, much less many manners. The occasional "spasibo" (thanks in Russian) and that's all. It'd be hard to be dependent on him when he's just more independent than you'd expect.
-> Background Theories
True Name: Igor "Nikto" Vasilyevich Yurievich
Age: 33 or 34
Born in: Siberia, Russia
Family: No mother, no siblings
-> Summary
Nikto is a Russian soldier who fights in the private military dubbed "KorTac", an elite group of military personnel who fight alongside other military units to achieve a shared goal.
Nikto is a torture victim survivor, captured my Viktor Zakhaev and ending up with some severe scarring to his lower face and neck. This is why he hides his face with a mask, and also covers his whole body in dark clothing.
Nikto is an individual who struggles with a dissociative disorder, causing some of his work to be a bit half-done, not purposefully however. His lack of control due to his disorder brings him only disadvantages, making him stop mid-fight and inevitably making him an easy target.
Regardless of this, Nikto has proved himself to be a worthy soldier on the battlefield, exceeding many expectations and climbing the ranks cleanly and efficiently. His character is the embodiment of determination and dedication despite everything going wrong much to his dismay.
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solarhysm · 2 months ago
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DUST OF US - 03
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> synopsis: 7 years ago Y/N broke Jungkook’s heart when she decided to end their relationship without an explanation. When they meet again at a friend's wedding, after almost a decade, Jungkook needs answers to move on.
> pairing: Jungkook x reader
> genre: romance, ex to lovers au
> warnings: explicit languages, violence, smut, cheating, nsfw, angst, +18 minors dni !!
> word count: 3.6k
*french writer, i apologize in advance for my awful english!
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You spend twenty minutes deciding what to wear, standing in your underwear in front of your closet. Nothing too elegant or too sexy—it’s just dinner. Not a dress, it’s October and freezing cold outside. Neither an outfit too revealing. You don’t want to give the wrong impression. If you dress too casually, he'll think you didn't make an effort. Sighing, you grab a pair of jeans and a black bodysuit. You’ll wear that with a black leather jacket.
Should you wear makeup? Groaning, you walk to the bathroom and scan the sink, where all your makeup is strewn around. Maybe just something light. Your brows, a little mascara, and some gloss. No, not gloss. Frustrated, you settle for a lip balm. Why are you overthinking this? Even for your previous dates, you didn’t do this much.
Are you trying to impress him? Why? He’s Jungkook. He’s seen you in all your embarrassing states: drunk, ugly crying, on your period, and when you just woke up. What are you trying to prove to him? He probably won’t even notice. Shaking your head, you grab your handbag and put on your shoes.
Since he told you you’d be drinking, you didn’t take your car. Ordering a taxi seemed safer. When you arrive at the place he sent you, you let out a sigh. It’s a Korean BBQ restaurant next to a lake, a little out of the way from the center of Seoul.
Taking a deep breath, you sit on the bench in front of the parking lot. He’s late. Or maybe you are mistaken about the day? You pull out your phone and check the date. No… It’s Saturday. Should you send him a text?
“Y/N,” you hear, and when Jungkook approaches, stepping out of the restaurant, you stand up. “You’re here.” He grins as you nod softly. You mentally thank yourself for choosing a casual outfit, which matches his. He’s wearing a pair of blue jeans, a white tee, and a denim jacket, with the top of his hair tied into a ponytail, the rest falls onto his neck. He looks… handsome. Nothing surprising—it’s Jeon Jungkook. “I like your jacket,” he says with a soft smile.
“Hi. Thanks,” you reply.
“Come on, I reserved a table for us.” Jungkook steps aside so you can join him.
“In a BBQ?” You arch a brow, walking beside with him before he opens the door for you.
“Yeah, I’ve been on the waiting list for two years,” he jokes, making you smile slightly as you both sit down, facing each other. “Make your choice.” He hands you the electronic menu.
Seven years have passed and he’s still the same. Always thinking of the others first. You scroll through the menu. He loves pork belly, not you. But since he treating you to dinner, you don’t want to overstep, so you select the pork belly portion to share for two and turn the tablet to him. His brows furrow slightly as he makes his choice while you look around. The place is cozy and private, with a few people around.
“Are you drinking with me?” He asks and you hum softly. Once the order is made, he pushes the tablet aside and focuses on you. “Did you start my tattoos?” He questions, stretching himself as the waiter arrives with beers and two bottles of soju.
“Yeah,” You reply quietly, staring at the waiter opening the beers.
“Can I see?”
“No.”
Jungkook’s lips turn into a smirk and nods, sliding a beer to you before taking the other for himsel f.
“You’re nervous.” He observes, making you frown and shake your head. “You are.” He retorts, chuckling. “You’re avoiding my eyes, and your foot keeps tapping under the table.”
And you hate him for knowing you so well. Your foot stops its nervous tapping, as your eyes meet his in a silent challenge, just to prove him wrong.
“How was Japan?” You ask, changing the topic. He leans back in his chair and stares off, as if searching for the right words.
“Different and the same at once.” He replies, rubbing his chin. “People don’t really look at you, they don’t care. The food is good. It’s beautiful too. I visited Kyoto and touched a deer,” he adds, making you smile.
You’ve always wanted to go there, to visit the bamboo forest and feed the deer. You two used to talk about it.
“Their faces are soft, but,” he scrunches his nose and shakes his head, “their body fur is… coarse. Like street dogs, you know?”
“I see.” You chuckle, biting your bottom lip.
“Jimin told me you have a cat,” he says, and you two clink your bottles before taking a sip.
“Yeah, Trash,” You smile softly. “He’s a fat little demon.”
“You always wanted a cat.” He remembers, smiling. “But your dad is allergic.”
“Right.” You laugh softly. “The moment I had my apartment, I adopted one.”
“He bit Jimin.” He chuckles, taking another sip of his beer. “He showed me the scars.”
“Jimin overwhelmed him.” You defend your cat, making Jungkook laugh.
“Of course.” He replies, shaking his head. When the waiter came back to start the BBQ and brings the meat and sides dishes, you frown a little. Jungkook thanks the waiter and begins grilling the meat in front of you.
“Beef?” You ask as he nods, pushing the plates between you both before waiting for the grill to be hot enough.
“You still like beef, right?” He questions, cutting the meat on the grill.
“I do. But… I ordered pork belly.” You nod.
“I know.” Is all he says. You look at the grilled food. He ordered beef on purpose. He knows you’re not a fan of pork belly. You shake your head, smiling. You both thought of each other. “Here, have a taste” He offers, placing a slice in your small plate as you thank him and grab your chopsticks. “Where is your brother now? High school?”
“Yeah,” You hum while chewing your food, your hand on your mouth to hide the pout you make when you eat. “It’s his first year.”
“He’s what, fifteen?” Jungkook asks, concentrating on grilling the meat but still making conversation.
“He can’t wait to finish high school and move to Seoul.” you chuckle, filling both of your glasses with soju. “He said that Busan was boring.”
“What? Busan is so cool.” Jungkook shakes his head ,amused and you nod.
“That’s what I told him.” You retort, taking another piece of meat. “And he replied: ‘If you like Busan so much, why did you leave then?’ from his sassy fifteen-year- old.” You muse, and Jungkook bursts out laughing.
“What a brat.” He says playfully as you nod.
“Right?” You smile, feeling more comfortable. That’s one of Jungkook's superpowers.
You two clink your drinks and take a shot of soju before he leans back in his chair.
“What about your brother?” You ask, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear.
“He’s married, two kids. I’m an uncle now.”
“Nice.”
He leans over the table to grab the bottle of soju and pours it into both glasses.
“Yeah, I ran as soon as Soyoon was about to give birth to the first monster. I held her in my arms,” He explains, and you smile softly, picturing Jungkook with a newborn in his arms.
“Did you cry?”
“No, I’m a man.” He shakes his head as you raise an eyebrow. “Maybe a little. Can you blame me? She was so tiny, and she is my first niece ever.”
Jungkook didn’t let you pay when you headed out two hours later. You rolled your eyes and suggested having dessert somewhere else. It was the least you could do. That's what you're trying to convince yourself of. The truth is, you didn’t want the night to end. You had a great time catching up with him.
You learned a lot about the twenty-seven-year- old Jungkook. Despite many changes, nothing has really changed. He was still the same nice boy you met eleven years ago, just more mature. You feel like you haven't changed or improved the way he has. He’s traveled and had many stories to share. The only significant change in your life is your move from Busan to Seoul.
“I’m not surprised that you’re a tattoo artist now,” he says as you both sit next to the lake, holding stuffed waffles. He offers you to help you settle with him in the grass. “You always loved to draw.”
“I told you that I’d become a tattoo artist one day,” You reply, pulling your legs against your chest as you eat the strawberry in the whipped cream of your waffle.
“Yeah, you did,” he smirks, leaning back on the ground, propped up on his elbow, and bites into his waffle. “I always knew you would. It’s hard to get something out of your head when you set your mind on it.”
Both of you continue to stare at the lake in front of you, as you sigh.
“Were you mad at me?” you ask a bit too boldly, but you blame your courage on the bottles of soju you drank earlier. You're both tipsy, clear-minded enough to think freely but not drunk enough to keep your thoughts to yourself. Jungkook seems to understand right away and sits up, taking a deep breath.
“Mad? Yeah.” He says honestly and you nod. “I didn’t understand why you broke up with me.” He adds taking another bite of his waffle, his eyes on the few ducks on the water. “And then I thought that maybe… maybe it was my fault. Maybe I said something that you didn’t like. Maybe I did something wrong. I’m sorry if that’s the case.”
You turn to look at him, but his eyes are still on the lake. He shrugs softly and smiles.
“But I wasn’t mad at you, Y/N.” He licks his lips and finally look at you. “I could never.”
Of course, he couldn’t. Whenever you two got into an argument, he was always the one coming back to you, making excuses—even when you were wrong. He cried and begged you not to leave him, even bringing flowers. Back then, leaving him, even for a short time, was never an option. He was yours and you were his. Did the eighteen-year-old Y/N ever imagine that one day you’d be closer to strangers than lovers?
“I just….” He sighs, clenching his jaw. “I just need to understand why.”
“Why?” You ask immediately.
“To heal the twenty-year- old guy who was left in that fast-food restaurant alone two days before Christmas.” He replies softly and your heart clenches.
“I thought you wanted to be friends?” You frown a little, feeling betrayed as his eyes widen, thinking that he probably did all that just to have his answers.
“Of course I want to be your friend, Nabi.” He retorts, frowning too. “I told you. You can reject me if you want, but I want you in my life.”
His words make you look at the ground and sigh. He said that when you two were seventeen. When he thought that his feelings weren’t reciprocated.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me today. I waited seven years,” He jokes, and you shake your head with a slight smile. “I’m patient.”
“Are you?” You arch a brow, and he smiles, his eyes drifting to the ducks passing by on your left.
“Oh look, ducks!” He says, straightening up like a kid on Christmas day. Your eyes follow his gaze to the ducks a few meters away from you. “Do you think I can catch one?” He smirks, a competitive glint In his eyes.
“What are you going to do with a duck?” You chuckle, frowning at his absurd question. “And you can’t catch ducks. They’re faster than you and can fly.” You inform him as he arches a brow and gets up.
“Alright. If I get one, you’re going on a second friendly date with me.”
“You can’t catch ducks.” You repeat, shaking your head as he hands you his waffle and starts running after them.
You roll your eyes and watch him disappear behind the small hill that leads to the lake. A few seconds of silence pass as your gaze stays on the track he took. As you prepare to get up and join him, he returns with a duck in his hands. The animal seems as lost as you are, while Jungkook is grinning triumphantly. Holding the duck securely, he walks back to you.
“You owe me a date.” He says proudly, kneeling in front of you. You shake your head, amused and get closer to him.
“Do you think he’ll bite if I touch him?”
“He doesn’t have teeth, Y/N.” He chuckles and placing the duck closer before showing you how to strokes feathers.
“I can’t believe you caught a duck.” You giggle, amused, your fingers brushing the soft feathers. You're too focused on the animal to notice Jungkook's eyes on you.
“It’s late. We should call a taxi.” He suggests, and your eyes lift to meet his.
You didn’t want to leave. You were having fun, but he’s right. He releases the duck aside to let it rejoin its friends as you nod.
“I'll see you to the door.” He smiles softly, offering you his hand to get up.
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“So, when are you gonna claim your prize?” You joke once you're both at the door. Jungkook leans his shoulder on your doorframe, thinking as he folds his arms across his chest.
“I haven’t even left yet, and you’re already eager to see me again, Nabi?” he smirks, and you roll your eyes, turning to close the door.
“Goodnight, Jungkook,” you pretend to step inside your apartment, but he giggles and stops you, placing his hand on the door.
“Alright, alright,” He laughs before you turn to face him again. He scratches his chin, leaning back on your doorframe. “I have to go to Busan before my mom kills me,” He adds. “It’s been months since I’ve been back, and I still haven’t visited my parents yet. But after that, we can plan another dinner.”
“Oh, yeah, you should plan that trip quickly. She’ll choke you to death if you don’t.” You chuckle, remembering that his mother is a mama bear. “Who’s driving you?”
“The train.” He laughs. “Jimin is too busy with his job, and I don’t have a car.”
And maybe it’s because it’s late, or because you had a great night, or maybe you can blame it again on the soju you had earlier, even if the effects long gone, but you open your mouth before thinking.
“I can drive you.” You suggest and immediately regret your words. A trip? Spending a few hours in the same car as your ex?
“Oh, no, it’s okay. Don’t change your plans for me.” He shakes his head, but you can't help it.
“I don’t mind. I need to visit my dad anyway, so at least we’ll kill two birds with one stone.”
Damn it, Y/N.
Jungkook stares at you for a moment, waiting for you to change your mind but you don’t say a single word.
“I mean… If you’re sure it’s no trouble,.” He nods, looking thankful.
“It’s not. I just need to clear one of my weekends. But if you're not comfortable with it—”
“No, no. Let’s do that.” He rushes to say, and you chuckle softly.
You smile and nod, and he does the same, taking a step back.
“Alright,” He repeats, “You’ll text me. Thank you for tonight.”
You offer him a sincere smile and take a step back too, ready to close your door.
“Get home safe.” You wave at him as he hums and bows politely before you close your own door and lean your back against it. Did you just offer your ex-boyfriend to spend more time with you? That’s not really … friendly.
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You didn’t tell your friends about that night, or about the second date you’re going to have—if you can even call it a "date"—and certainly not about the trip you're going to take with Jungkook. They would keep harassing you about it. No, you kept it to yourself. Jungkook and you hadn't spoken since that night. It had already been more than a week.
You were too busy with your shop, and he was probably busy too. You needed a little time to calm down. Spending time with him again felt like the thrill of having a new friend, discovering someone new. You felt the same way when you and Hwan first became friends.
“Boss?” Baekhyun calls out as you smile, drawing on your tablet. “Y/N?”
“Hm?” You blink a few times, snapping back to reality. “Yeah?”
“Where do I put this?” he asks, holding up a box you just received.
“Oh, it’s our Halloween decorations,” you say, getting up to take a look. Baekhyun pulls the box onto the counter as you grab a pair of scissors to open it.
For the counters, you’ve got a bunch of little pumpkins. Spider webs adorn the walls and doors, and the star of the show: a human-sized skeleton that proves a challenge to get out of the box.
“We’ll have fun drawing on this one,” you chuckle, setting the skeleton on the bench next to the counter.
“Drawing?” Baekhyun frowns as he pulls out the ghost decorations from the box.
“Hm. I want to draw on his bones. He’s our mascot; he needs tattoos to look cool,” you say, stepping back with your hands on your hips. “Look how handsome he looks.”
Baekhyun stares at you, amused, before shaking his head.
“You’re really something else, boss,” he purrs, stepping closer. You feel his breath on your shoulder before he presses his lips to your skin. You shiver slightly and step away from him.
“Not at work,” you mumble, glancing at the skeleton.
“I know, I know,” he whispers, placing his hand on your stomach as he closes the distance between you again. His nose brushes against the crook of your neck. “But it’s the end of the day, and the shop is closed,” he murmurs as his mouth trails kisses along your skin, making you bite your bottom lip. "Can I invite you to dinner on Halloween?"
"Hm?" You breathe softly as his hand inches toward the waistband of your jeans. You close your eyes and tilt your head, giving him more space. “Halloween?” you repeat.
“Yeah. Since we’re closed the next day, I want to celebrate Halloween with you,” he says, kissing your jaw as he explains. You take a few seconds to think before shaking your head.
“I can’t. I’m leaving for Busan for Halloween,” you reply, making him stop. He pulls back slightly to meet your eyes.
“You’re going to Busan?” he asks as you frown, pulling away to face him completely. His hand drops to his side. “That wasn’t planned?”
“I didn’t know I had to explain myself to you,” you chuckle, occupying your hands by putting the decorations back in the box. “I’m visiting my family. Is that a problem?”
“Oh…” he mumbles, looking at the floor. “No, I understand. So… when can I invite you to dinner?”
“Why?” you ask, amused.
“Y/N… Come on,” Baekhyun sighs, closing the distance between you as he takes your hands in his. “You know why. We’ve been circling each other for almost a year now.” His words make you laugh, and you shake your head, raising an eyebrow. Why does he talk like you owe him something? You pull your hands away from his and shake your head.
“I don’t remember the part where I said our arrangement would lead to something else?” You retort, arching a brow. Baekhyun rolls his eyes, pushing himself against the counter.
“I know what you said. It’s just—” He takes a deep breath. “We work well together. Here at the shop, we have a good chemistry, even in bed. You could at least give me a chance to prove it?”
“Oh my god,” you shake your head, covering your face. “Baek, why are you suddenly so desperate to prove something?” You both exchange a look as he clenches his jaw, looking away.
“You’re making it sound like I’m being stupid right now.” He groans silently as your eyes soften.
“I’m sorry. It’s not what I meant.” You add, looking at him. “I don’t want a relationship. Not now, or ever. I told you.”
“What?” Baekhyun frowns. “That’s not what you said. You said you weren’t ready to start something with someone yet.”
“And I still am not.” You raise your shoulders as he chews the inside of his cheek. “I don’t have to explain myself to you anyway. I’m happy alone.”
“Okay.” The young man replies, his tone almost cold. “You don’t have to repeat it. It’s only sex, I get it.”
“Are you upset because I don’t want a relationship?” You frown, your voice rising slightly.
And your words seem to hit him harder because his features relax slowly as he takes a deep breath.
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that, Y/N. You’re not ready, and I respect that.” His tone softens as he steps closer, gently rubbing your arms. “Let me buy you dinner, hm?” Baekhyun says with a smile as he pulls you into a hug. “I’ll let you choose whatever you want to eat. I’m sorry. Please forgive me, yeah?” he whispers against your shoulder, and you simply nod. “Alright, let’s close the shop and grab something to eat.”
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six-eyed-samurai · 5 months ago
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SUMMARY: Someone turns up on Sanemi's doorstep after the final war - that someone being a part of Genya's life Sanemi regrets never knowing. A/N: NGL I lost a lot of respect for Sanemi after he tried to poke Genya's eyes out but I do feel really bad for him after the final battle with Muzan because what is he going to live for now? What's he going to do? Fall into depression, probably, and that just made me sad so here we are to be sad together. You don't have a choice. WARNINGS: Genya x GN Reader but mainly Platonic!Sanemi x Reader
Seeing as nearly everyone he had known was dead after the final war, the hesitant knocking at his door startled the wits out of one former Wind Hashira.
He probably shouldn’t have stayed up late last night drinking and wasting everything away because he could barely see straight stumbling towards the doors, cursing the early dawn, the furniture he stubbed his toe on and the pounding in his head, but nothing numbed the dull grief and pain better than being blackout drunk and coma-like sleep. At least Sanemi wasn’t seeing double like last time.
Although he was wondering if he was hallucinating shit, because ain’t no freaking way there was someone showing up at his doorstep at 6 in the morning asking if he was Shinazugawa and if he could please, if he didn’t mind, help them find someone?
“Yeah…what?”
They repeat their question, tugging nervously at their sleeves, hopeful underneath all that anxiety. “Are you Shinazugawa Sanemi? Genya told me to go find you if…”
“He’s-”
His first reaction, out of force of habit, was to deny that he had any brother, but the words glued themselves to the sides of his throat and would only spill out in the form of ugly sobbing. His second reaction was pretty much equally brutal: tell them that his brother had long died, sliced in half by the late Upper Moon One, all because he had failed in every duty possible, as a brother, as a slayer, as a human. But Sanemi, undeniably, had mellowed out and if he had to crack that porcelain-frail look of desperate hope in their eyes he too would shatter in his precarious mental state.
So he settled for delaying the inevitable. “If what? You a slayer?”
“No,” they say, shaking their head. “I…he was my, um…”
Oh.
No.
Please no.
“Your boyfriend,” he barks out bluntly, but tries to tone down and soften his expression when they wince, flustered. “That’s…”
Unexpected. He could still remember a time when Genya either beat down everyone and not gave a rat’s ass about it or when he would explode into a ripe tomato if someone good looking so much as said hello to him. Or maybe sweet. Sanemi’s always wanted him to have a normal life, go get married, have a family, live peacefully to a ripe old age while he did the bloody work of slaying. At least he got a taste of it. Most of all…sad, really. Sad that he pushed his younger brother away so much he never even know he’d fallen in love, someone new had entered his life, he’s gotten over his emotional constipation somewhat. Sad that he never got to spend the rest of his life with them like Sanemi had no doubt he had promised. Sad that they had never known, all this while, that Genya would never stagger home to them.
It seemed like this conversation would be one of trailed-off sentences.
They nod. “Yes…”
“Huh. Can see why he liked you,” Sanemi says off-handedly, but remembers he never actually knew what his brother’s type was. Funny how he only realized it was stupid of him to keep trying to cut off ties with his only brother after he died. But they are cute in their mannerisms, the air that just made you want to protect them forever, wrapped in innocence. No wonder Genya fell in love.
“Liked?” Their expression falls, but it’s still hopeful.
Sanemi can’t think what’s worse, for her to have the only option of thinking that Genya has moved on, fallen for someone else, left them behind because the other option is too terrible to contemplate. It’s the truth, however.
“Liked,” he repeats, and he can feel his mind just wanting to succumb to the hopeless pain. Sanemi digs his nails into his palm and bites the insides of his cheeks instead.
“I think I should start from the beginning.”
“Come on in, then.”
He waits until they're further into the room before he releases a breath, slumps his shoulders and stares at the sky to mouth his apologies to his brother for not giving him enough time to spend with them, to the gods for leading them on for so long, to someone, anyone, who would spare a sinner like him some forgiveness as he prepared to cry all over again about Genya.
***
“And then he told me if he isn’t at Himejima’s Estate, go find his older brother who’s probably living alone somewhere, scaring everyone away with his temper and dog.”
They laugh, clear as bells, at the memory, hiding their smile behind the steaming cup of tea, but it’s broken, like their fake grins and the mug in their hands. Sanemi wants to laugh too (is this how you really saw me, Genya, after all I did to you?), but he might actually start the waterworks. Sanemi was already halfway there, listening to his brother’s secret romance and everything he missed out because of his own foolishness.
“He said he hoped he’d finally be there with you, or if he wasn’t, you’d tell me where he went.”
I could tell you where he went, Sanemi agreed, because I saw him. When I was dying. And he was dead.
They fidgets, tugging at their clothes again. “I waited a really long time for a letter. He said he’d send me one if he could after the…after the fight, but it was so long. I checked up on Himejima’s Estate all the time, but he was never there. Nobody was. I asked around; they told me the owner had died and - and -”
“I know.” If he was a better person Sanemi would probably be reaching out to put a hand on their shoulder, assure them. If he were a better brother Genya would be alive and drinking tea with them. But he was none of those and so all he could do was awkwardly say two words. “Go on.”
“I didn’t know to look after that.” They wipe at their face, setting down the cup. “Genya said you had white hair and was covered in scars, and well, there aren’t that many of those sort of people around, but even then it took me forever to find you. I tried tracking down Muichiro, but I couldn’t either.”
Tokito. Another failure. Sanemi turned away slightly.
“Then I finally found Tanjiro last week. He’d been trying to find me as well, but heh, since I kept traveling it made it hard.” They shrug. “He told me where to find you, so here I am. Sorry for intruding…but it’s a little late for that.”
They glance around, clinging onto the belief. “Is he - is he here? Can I see him?”
“Yeah,” Sanemi whispers hoarsely. “I’ll take you to him.”
Not before he winds up sobbing himself dry on their shoulder, pathetically trying to assure them as well as tears streamed down both their faces.
***
There was no body but Sanemi had carved out a tombstone for him anyway.
It was under a tree, scattered with leaves, wilting flowers and weeds watered by his grief. Sometimes when Sanemi’s more sober and when he can light a candle without burning anything else he’ll leave some there, so waxy stubs are left over. That Kamado kid and his friends came down sometimes and left behind their mementos as well. Unlike his own home, Sanemi did his best to keep it clean.
He left to give them some privacy, walking a little further away, but even so the wind carried their words over and Sanemi couldn’t pretend he couldn’t hear them raging against fate, death, Genya.
“Why?”
“Why you?”
“Why would you do this to me?”
You and me both, kid, Sanemi thinks.
“You said you’d come back! You said you’d take me to see your aniki! We were going to - there was so much we haven’t - what am I supposed to do now, Genya? You were supposed to be here with Sanemi-san as well, not just me!”
He’s always been too caught up with himself. Damn, blind to what Genya really wanted to the end, Sanemi thinks wryly.
For a moment there seems to be someone else beside him. He turns and for a moment he sees someone’s shadow on the ground, someone smiling, someone asking. Someone who didn’t want him to go squandering his life on regrets; a favor, the silhouette seemed to say, so will you do it for me?
The answer was always yes - Sanemi blinks, and it’s gone, so he hurries back to the grave.
They're dragged out of their misery by a heavy hand, rough but gentle. “I’m sorry.”
“You shouldn’t be.” They hiccup and drag a hand across their face. “I'm sorry. Sorry for…I wish you both had gotten a chance…”
Sanemi laughed, voice scratchy. “That was my own fault.”
“You know what I mean.” They managed to roll their eyes.
“Where you going now?”
“I'm…not sure. I don't know. Back to my hometown, maybe, but there's not really anyone there.”
Anyone to go back to, they meant.
“Tch.” He began to stomp back to the house, gesturing for them to follow. Sanemi pauses at the doorway, frowning, and turns back. “You planning to sit there all day? You can stay if you like, I don't like the idea of you walking around alone and defenceless.”
“Stay - what?”
“Stay,” Sanemi agrees, exasperation in his tone at their stunned, slow reaction. “And you're having ohagi for breakfast whether you like it or not.”
***
Days fly past.
Mostly they’re spent in mourning together. Privately Sanemi preferred this to the funeral they had held with what was left of the Corps, because it feels more…closer. Similar. Here were two people that were a part of a big chunk of Genya’s life and yet never knew the other part.
They sat at the grave a lot and just…nothing. There were no tears or comfort. Just silence, never knowing what to do because you’ve been living for someone who’s now dead so you could live, but what are YOU living for? Sanemi wished time and time again he’d be the one to bite it. Not like anyone much would miss him, and maybe all those times he’d been hurting his brother was so Genya could move on in the event he died, very much unlike him right now.
On the third day they finally made conversation.
“So…” Sanemi cleared his throat. “How’d you both meet, since, y’know, he’s a slayer?”
They squint at the dirt, absently pulling up blades of grass. “I didn’t actually know he was one until a lot later, but even then he didn’t tell me much.” They tilted up their head. “He never wanted to expose that part of his life to me. I thought he was just another traveler when we first met; I offered him a room in my house.”
“House? Will you go back there?” Suddenly Sanemi is seized with panic - if they, his one and only link to Genya now, went back, and he ended up alone again…
“It’s not really my house. It’s more like…my employer’s house at that time…”
“Ah. So you’ve got nowhere to go for now?”
“Mhm. When I got fired I stayed over at Himejima’s occasionally. Then Genya sent me away before…yeah, before all that.” They blink and their eyes glisten. “What was he like, as a slayer? I knew he was different or something, because Tanjiro and his friends used a sword and some technique he couldn’t master, so the gun and all.”
Unbeknownst to everyone Sanemi had been watching his little brother train all those years ago. It’d be the first time he exposed himself. “He was really hard-working. Threw in everything he had to try and learn Breathing Techniques but he just couldn’t master it, and I think it took a big toll on Genya. I didn’t help much.”
“It’s alright. He forgives you.”
“Present tense?”
“Would he have told me to go look for you if he hadn’t?”
There. The real reason Sanemi would lose it if they left. He needed someone, something, anything to prove all the accusing, guilty voices in his head that Genya hadn’t died hating him.
“Tch. Fair enough. Tell me about his life outside the Corps now.”
***
Weeks go by.
Having them around, Sanemi discovers, is a stark reminder of what had happened to Genya, yet not in a bad way. Sanemi started forcing himself to bathe more frequently, take care of himself better - don’t want them having to put up with my stench - not just doing the bare minimum for his dog. He’d been alone and heartbroken for so long he’s honestly stopped functioning like a normal person, forgotten what Genya had died for.
Now he had to go out and buy food more consistently because he wasn’t the only one around anymore. Sanemi had to get around to repairing all those things that had fallen to ruins at the Wind Estate. Grudgingly he even agreed to let them take over cooking meals in order to get more than just ohagi in his diet.
But he only really noticed the differences when one morning Sanemi staggered into the kitchen looking for a drink after another round of restless nightmares and instead stumbled onto them dumping the contents of the sake bottle he left out down the drain.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Sanemi made a grab for it but they ducked out of reach, flinching at the sudden yell.
“Getting rid of this. You’ve been drinking a lot lately.”
“For a damn reason!”
“What reason?”
Because every day is painful and I just want it all to go away, isn’t it obvious? Sanemi dug his nails into his palm again, muttering obscenities.
“I thought you of all people should know better than to cope like this.”
“I-”
He should. He remembered the former Flame Hashira before Rengoku. He recalled Kyogo.
Sanemi had always feared he would turn out like his father and here he was proving everyone right. Genya wouldn’t have wanted that…god, what was wrong with him?
“You’re right.”
They watched uneasily as Sanemi stalked off, but they had nothing to worry about. Sanemi threw out the rest of the bottles that day and apologized to the grave.
“Bet he’s pretty mad I turned out like this after all he fought for.” A scarred hand gestures listlessly at the headstone, the other holding a cup. The both of them sat in evening silence, watching the wind flitter around from the engawa. Remaining rain droplets trickle down from the roof.
“Genya?’ They set down their cup and ponder. “Not really. He could never get mad at you.”
Sanemi snorts. “Never?”
“Never.”
“Ah, he should’ve.”
“Maybe that’s why I’m here.” They flash him a smile. In truth they could’ve been his sibling regardless - sibling-in-law, but he’d settle for surrogate now.
Sanemi rolls his eyes but likes the idea more than he admits, of Genya watching over him even now…because it has to mean he’s forgiven him, right, for everything he did wrong? “What was he like?”
“Huh?”
“Y’know.” Sanemi draws random blobs in the air, vague shapes of hearts. “When you both were-”
“SHINAZUGAWA!”
“Did you make out? At least once. You had to.”
They’re mortified and got up several times to leave but not before Sanemi’s heard everything he missed out: yes, they’d gotten to the kissing stage but no, they did not make out, why was he so vulgar, yes, Genya often had a panic attack every time they held hands, yes, they could show him all the dried flowers Genya had gifted them, stop laughing at their confession story, you’re right, Genya was horribly obvious with his blushy crush phase and NO, Shinazugawa, Genya would self combust before they ever got to the topic of marriage or starting a family!
***
Years pass.
Sanemi’s gotten married. Four mini-mes running around as well, a fifth on the way. He likes to think of it as a parallel between him and his own siblings, because his oldest is the only to inherit his shock of white hair and the second bears a striking resemblance to Genya. They think so too, written clearly on their faces every time they look at him.
Speaking of them, they hadn’t left all this while and Sanemi doesn’t want them to. Not when they’ve been there to pull him out of his depressive state, united in grief, see him fall in love with a local girl, urge him to court her despite his anxious worries, stood next to him when he was getting hitched, supported him throughout fatherhood and babysat the four hurricanes when he and his wife went out on date nights.
It’d be just as bad as losing Genya.
“You better be good for them, or I’ll string you all up by your feet.” Despite Sanemi’s threatening words he’s unusually gentle as he peels his two youngest from his legs as they cling on and whine at him and mom not to go out without them, they wanted to go see the fireworks too, can’t they stay up late this one time?
“Don’t worry, they’re all angels.” They help remove the other two older ones from their mom, rolling their eyes. “And before you say anything, yes, I’ll get them all to bed before ten.”
“Sometimes I think Sanemi nags more than I do,” his beloved jokes, taking his arm and the both of them leave, calling out to the protesting kids as they’re hauled off inside and the door closes. He’s lucky, he thinks, tucking his wife closer, that even after all this he managed to be happy. He can almost see Genya in front of him, smiling and telling Aniki not to get too naughty, not abandon them for so long to try and control four rowdy kids.
Sanemi wishes the same could be said of them, though.
When he comes back, tells his wife he’ll be back into the bedroom soon, checks on his kids and realizes they’ve disappeared again, Sanemi knows just where to look, quickly making his way to the grave, carrying a lantern and something else.
“You really have to stop coming here in the middle of the night. There’s no more demons, but ya think you’ll be safe?” Sanemi huffs, taking his seat next to them. They snort derisively. “I’m serious! What if you get mauled by some wild animal? Who am I gonna dump the kids on if you’re not here?”
“Tomioka’s around. Kamado too,” they sing-song.
“Tomioka would give my kids depression and maybe I’d trust Kamado but not his friends.”
“You give ME depression.”
“Haha, very funny.” Sanemi passes the slice of watermelon to them, taking a bite of his own. Genya’s headstone looks chipped in the yellow light, worn and old, but still lovingly cared for. “I think he might want you to move on, you know? It’s been years. He’ll understand. He’ll want you to be happy. You can’t keep waiting around, crying and wasting time.”
“You’re stealing my words.”
“Hey, it worked back then, when you told that to me. You’re a hypocrite. Use your own advice.”
“I tried. It didn’t work out. I kept coming back here.” A finger traces the stone, uncertainty in their tone.
“You feel guilty, like you’re being unfaithful to him or something?” Sanemi passes them another slice, awkwardly trying to sympathize. He wants them to be happy as well, after all.
“No, it’s just…” They shrug, head shaking from side to side. “I dunno. I can’t. Not like you did.”
Sanemi understands, suddenlyl, sort of. They gave him their heart and maybe it wasn’t theirs to take back yet. It didn’t really make sense and wasn’t enough of a reason to argue against moving on, but feelings were weird and rarely made enough reason.
“No one’s going to be like him, huh.”
“No. No one,” They agreed, and they both lapsed into silence.
“I mean, the guy we met yesterday looked like a great match-”
“Have fun taking your kids on your next date, Shinazugawa.”
“I was kidding!”
They wipe their mouth and set down their watermelon rind before, a ghost of smile tugging at their lips. “You and Genya really are the same, you know.”
“How?’ Years later and he’s still learning new things he should’ve known during all those years he wasted thinking it was a good idea to push him away. Ah well.
“Um…I guess in the way you both really suck at trying to talk about feelings.”
“You wound me.”
“You’re a former Hashira. But you both try to understand and make me feel better anyway.” They smirk. “In the form of bad jokes, usually.”
“I’m hurt.” Sanemi got the point, mouth twitching.
“So, yeah. You both don’t really know how to do it but you do your best. That’s good enough.”
Sanemi caught their eye. “…good enough for me, at least.” He stood up and picked up the rinds, returning back to his tough boy exterior. “Enough mushy stuff. Go back to bed.”
“Yessir.”
***
“You and Genya really are the same, Sanemi.”
They lean their forehead against the cool, rough headstone. The new one. It was new and clear but now it was wet with tears. “It’s gonna be hard…why did you both have to go?”
Five years later. Sanemi’s slayer mark had finally caught up with him, but not before he had gotten the chance to settle down and leave behind some kids, have another chance at enjoying life, find a new sibling. Still, no one had expected him to just…not wake up one day. It seemed a little too quiet of an ending for the tale of Shinazugawa.
“Where was all your talk about going down in a blaze of glory to the kids last night, huh?” They coughed out a laugh. “I know you must be really pissed to just die like that.”
They’ve been holding it together the past few days, for the sake of Sanemi’s children and his widow. Only now could they cry in quiet, in the same spot where Sanemi and them had cried over Genya. Tomioka’s widow and two kids had joined them as well. Three united in grief.
“I know you said you’re happy you got a chance at all this, Sanemi, but I can’t help feeling like you were robbed of having the full experience in all this. Like Genya all over again. When you see him, tell him I miss him a lot, okay? Still very much head over heels and making an absolute fool of myself…”
They laid down their bouquet, taking a breath. “You also said you were afraid Naomi, Hiroshi and Remi won’t remember you if you die so early in their childhood…it’s alright. I don’t think anyone will forget you. Least of all me. Thanks for everything.”
“I hope you and Genya finally see each other again.”
It wasn’t seen or heard, but rather, felt - a lover’s arm wrapped around their shoulders and a brotherly hand on the other.
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godhandler · 14 days ago
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Ex-boyfriend Gojo who shows up at your house 5 years later. He looks a bit different now. 
|Souls are laid to rest after the death of the body. As for Gojo Satoru, his soul rests with you. In other words, your terrible ex-boyfriend is having way too much fun haunting you|
|satoru gojo x reader, fluff, lil bitty angst, gojo being gojo, 1400 words, desi-coded reader|
previous series masterlist
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Sometimes you wonder if you are a character trapped in a story. Ant in a glacier, you shout and kick but are ultimately powerless, swept along by a narrative you are but a puppet to. It’s nothing new, you’ve felt this way every day for the past almost 30 years; days that keep passing by while you remain where you were.
Your author could have written you a story where you’re a princess and the dashing knight falls in love with you. Or perhaps where you’re a powerful elf magician who conquers the universe. Hell, even a side character in Mob Psycho 100 gets a nicer life than you. 
It only follows that your author is bored and talentless and cruel, because why else would they torment you like this? Why else would the love of your life come back to haunt you?
“... hey, honeycheeks?” Satoru opens an eye. For the past few days since he appeared he’s taken to sleeping (or quietly hovering horizontally) on his side of the bed next to you. “Why are you still up?”
Lately it feels like everything you do is done through you, rather than by you. You have to do something, feel something, assert your freedom of action. Make you feel like a person again. 
You scream for a full 20 seconds before Satoru, aghast, claps a hand (that passes right through you) to your mouth, worried that the neighbours will start banging on the wall, a stray ‘shut the fuck up!’ wafting in through the window. You haven’t slept well since he got here, except, you know, when you passed out. If your current mental state is anything to go, he needs to get you to bed before you lose it completely. 
“No– get off– I have to–are you real, Satoru? Are you? Am I?” 
Satoru’s never been able to hide his thoughts from you, so you can see clear on his face the fear and worry about you. A tinge of pity too. You’re behaving so erratically, so unlike the calm rational lady he remembers you as, one who took all of life’s curveballs in stride. Has he hurt you that much? What does it say about the kind of person Satoru is if his reappearance hurts you more than his disappearance? 
The ghostly form is warm, warm as the sun’s heat on a winter day, and he opens his arms to call you to its warmest core– his heart. You lie back down, pulled into the bedsheets and you shock yourself when you reflexively pull the blankets over both your heads. Like you used to. Like you haven’t forgotten.
Satoru glows too. Gentle light of fireflies and starlight. All humans do, you remember reading in your physics textbook: all heat-emitting bodies emit light energy as well. Satoru is all soul and no body to bar the glow– he lights up your little cave under the blankets. 
“I’m real, my love.” 
Why does it wrap thorns around your insides? Why do the tears burn down your neck, refusing to obey your composure? Why are you losing your grip on everything?
“I’ve always imagined that you’d come back.” Your whispers slip out before you can help it. “You’d stand on the doorstep with a huge bouquet of red roses and chocolate-covered-strawberries. I’ll open the door, and be so shocked! I’d say, “So you think you can just buy me flowers and I’d forgive you?” and you’d get on your knees and beg me to take you back, or at least let you inside the house. Our house. Then I’d say, “Fine, but you have to leave after tea!” And you don’t. You just never leave. Ha ha–” your suddenly realise what you’re saying, though not enough to regret it. “– I know, it’s cliche, don’t tease me… But I knew you, Satoru. I knew it’d never happen; I knew that you were done with me for good.”
And after a full year, Satoru Gojo’s blueflame eyes wet again with the unbearable weight of the past. 
“But if I knew that you’d come back like this–” you bury your head into Satoru’s unruly cloud of hair. His fingers grasp you tight into his embrace, shoulders heave with every sob that wrecks through his body. He can’t look you in the eye. How could he? He’s done so much wrong, so much that cannot be fixed, left so much unfinished. “–I’d have wanted you to stay away.”
“You gave me some of my best memories.” He weeps. Ghost tears fall that do not wet your bosom. “Some of my best days in life. I– I came back– I couldn’t–” 
He chokes and waits for the uncontrollable hiccups to die down, a tic of his whenever he cries too hard. The first time it happened was when you pushed him down a slide he was a bit scared of, and he kept hiccuping and heaving until his distraught nanny took him to his pediatric doctor. He was 2 then. He would’ve been 29 now. 
His voice steadies enough to talk, chest still shaking as he cries. He can’t help it. He’s given up trying to. “I don’t know much, but this much I can figure out. I’m done for, I’ve passed away. I’m sorry, my love, I tried not to, but I died. I’m sorry. It was a fight and I couldn’t win this time. Don’t worry, it’s over now, my students defeated the terrorist, everyone’s safe, you’re safe, love. Everything will go back to how it was–”
“–it won’t,” you cry. “Not without you.”
“There’s no point mourning the dead, I was loved enough in my life. I mean,” he finally has the courage to look at you, allowing a watery smile. There’s tears even in his teeth. “I got to be loved by you. What more can I ask? And that’s what I figured out, I think. Tell me, love, what do you see when you look at me? What am I wearing?”
“Huh? You look just like the day you left. 5 years ago.” 
“Am I jacked like Musclemon?”
You can’t help but laugh. “No, silly, you look exactly like the day you left. Tall lean muscles, sure, but I won’t call you Musclemon. The chocolate bear hoodie you were wearing, grey sweatpants, the blindfold I gave you.” 
The last one was specially hand-made by you. You had to call in a favour from your blacksmithing friends to create a light-weight lead composite shield, which you then tailored foam and padding to create the most opaque blindfold possible. To help him sleep better at night.   
“That’s now how others see me.”
“Others can see you? Who's ‘others’?”
“No, no, not everyone. Just some people I couldn’t say goodbye to. Get closure properly, you know. As far as I can tell, it’s Suguru, Shoko, the children. They all saw me as how they remembered me.” He said. He’s always loved to explain, despite the fact that he’s crying right now. “I don’t know if this happens to everyone or just me, but at the time of death, your soul goes to wherever they find comfort. Mine was split into a few separate pieces, but those parts are done. I talked enough to everyone, bothered them till they told me to go, ha-ha… Suguru’s waiting for me to leave with him.”
“Suguru’s soul?”
“Yes.”
“Leave where? When?”
“I don’t mind, I’ll go wherever he takes me, I trust him. And I’ll go when you tell me to. When you’re done with me.” He whispers. Secrets beyond the grave that he entrusts with you. “But if you keep me with you, if you don’t tell me to leave, I never will. Not this time.”
You must be imagining it, but Satoru seems to get heavier, even though all he is is a ball of cloud. Almost like he was actually lying tangled with you. Must be your imagination. 
Clearly, neither of you are doing very well, or at least well enough to trust your senses. Come tomorrow morning, the barriers will come up again, the awkwardness of proper social conduct seeping through with the sunlight, childish words will go unsaid. 
“I loved you, Satoru. I love you.” It’s the truth, no point in hiding it. It’s destiny beyond himself that his soul came to you. “But more than that I miss you.”
Maybe if you prayed very, very hard, you could convince your author to write you a better story. 
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a/n: reader also sees gojo with the engagement band on his finger she just can't get herself to say it out loud
gojo sees himself as nothing eslse but two glowing blue eyes
geto saw gojo as the 17 year old student he left him as. just to clarify, gojo's soul was "split" or in better words, different versions of his souls talked to his loved ones after his death and those versions have found peace and moved on. since geto is the only one dead in that line-up, in a way, he's waited for a year for him to die and join him. geto was prepared to wait as long as he needed to (he hoped that it would be long). reader's version is the only one that's left unresolved. do you think gojo wants to be resolved/freed?
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