#{ my adhd is so so bad and it's impossible for me to focus so I appreciate any patience! }

[nihilistem]

Hey! I read your study tips both posts regarding adhd . (Feel free to ignore )

I am still undiagnosed and I think it's adhd but i do not have the resources nor the environment or support system to do anything about it .I am a high schooler preparing for entrance exams and i really need to like get my shit together and i feel like i have wasted sm time already but i really do want to get better. When i sit to study i just can't focus if I keep my phone in some other room then also i would just sit and stare at my books without accomplishing something. I am trying really but it's feels like my brain is frozen and my body is moving .my brain keep screaming guilty and ashamed but i can't seem to do anything about it.your study post actually i related to a lot because pomodro kind of seems to be working for everyone but me and the you described the exact same things I do

I know this is a lot to ask for please feel free to ignore but how do I stop Letting my emotions take over and study consistently because I only have one chance at the exams

Oh my, first of all I’d like to say that, as cliché as it is, I know exactly how you feel. I was undiagnosed for so long (I was only diagnosed a few months ago) and I didn’t even know that the adhd things I experience on a regular basis wasn’t normal or neurotypical for so long.

first up : I know this is difficult, but please do not say such things about yourself. I’m not gonna get into the whole thing, (cuz I have done a post on that already) but it’s true that the more you drill that bad stuff into your brain, the more it’s gonna stick. We need our brains to be in the best condition possible to study efficiently and saying bad stuff about yourself that isn’t even true is just going to hinder your performance. You got this. I promise you’re not lazy. Your brain just isn’t motivated by the same things others are, but we can work with that simple difference.

I’ll make a separate post on how not to let your emotions take over, but for now …

adhd study tips for those trying to get into the habit.

— by a stem student with adhd.

here’s my first post on adhd study tips.

— don’t put your phone in a different room. Instead, download an app that prevents you from using other apps on your phone.

there’s plenty of apps that do this but the one I prefer is ypt because all its features are completely free and it stops your timer when you exit the app unless you enter ‘allowed app mode.’ I don’t know about you, but if I find that I’m just zoning out on my textbook then I end up stopping my timer and deleting the record because I know I didn’t actually study, and this motivates me to actually get some work done. The timer also gets me motivated to keep going for longer so I have physical proof of my focus time and studies. It will feel good to even have just 1 hour of study time on it, I promise.

— even if you’re not interested in your studies, try your best to find even one thing that interests you.

novelty, challenge and interest are some of the best motivators of the adhd brain, so use it. I know that sparking your curiosity for a subject you hate seems impossible, but hear me out.

ever since I was young, I was exposed to books and I drew everyday. This caused me to become very passionate about the arts, but since I had adhd and didn’t know, I failed all my classes and specifically hated chemistry because it was specifically designed to be everything that I can’t be good at due to my poor memory and the need to memorize a TON of concepts. Then during class one day, I was doing chemistry work with my friends and felt frustrated that they could easily balance equations and work out which compounds were acids or bases purely by its chemical formula. And that’s what sparked me to start reading my textbook to see what the big deal was. How was it possible for one to just know when something is a acid solely from looking at a bunch of letters? This started a chain reaction; I found my answer, and found that the process of finding my answer and learning this new information was fulfilling. So I looked at all the other chemistry topics, and it turns out chemistry was fun. I was supposed to be an art student but now I’m majoring in chemistry and biology, all because of that sense of challenge and curiosity I was given that day.

tdlr; I was bad at chemistry but I’m now majoring in it because I felt challenged by a friend and was curious to know how they could solve chem equations easily.

All it took was a bit of curiosity. It’s a very powerful thing to the adhd brain. And if you use this as a motivator for your studies it might even cause you to hyper-fixate on your work, which means you’ll naturally spend more time studying just to find all the answers you’re now dying to know.

— use the pomodoro timer, but think about the things that you have to do that seems a little impossible to do under 25 minutes.

This fulfills the ‘challenge’ category I mentioned in the previous tip.

Let me explain; I subconsciously started doing this to myself without anyone telling me this and it’s helped me a LOT. Here’s an example;

“This chapter’s too long, it’s impossible to read through everything and understand the key concepts in just twenty five minutes.”

is it, though?

So I was off to the races, genuinely reading through every page and taking note of every single heading or bold or italicized word so I will be able to summarize the entire topic by the time the twenty five minutes is up.

And it doesn’t even matter if you don’t make that twenty five minute mark, because you’ll feel a sense of defeat and try it again with another chapter/topic.

this accomplishes two things; one, the work you’ve been putting off or zoning out on is now probably 20% - 50% completed and now you feel motivated to continue. Two, this method will train you to be faster in learning or studying new material or even just completing work in general, depending on what you’re challenging yourself to do.

— dress up, do your hair, study at a library or cafe you love (and possibly make pretty notes.)

I’ve talked about interest, I’ve talked about challenge, and now I’m gonna talk about novelty.

Do this with purpose! But what do I mean by that?

I’m sure you’ve come across studious girls in media or even people on social media making videos and taking pretty photos of their day out to study. Usually they’re dressed the part and even if they’re not, there’s a certain vibe, aesthetic or aura about them that is just so desirable that it makes you wish you were doing what they were doing. And if you don’t feel this way, find content creators or media that do make you feel this way.

How will this help me? Well, there are actually a few reasons but the first one that comes to mind is that this is also an adhd tip used outside of studying. Combining a task you don’t want to do with a task you’d like to do is a faster and more efficient way of convincing yourself to do long, difficult or even tiring tasks. Another is that doing this would also mean you’ve technically gotten yourself to desire studying, something more commonly known as romanticizing studying. If you make studying look fun, glamorous or even desirable for yourself then you’re sure to get to the hideous parts of it. Think about being a straight A student, someone who’s always wearing nice clothes with great hair and such a focused work ethic. Once you desire to be that person and you dress like that person, you’ll start to do the things that person will do.

— use the pomodoro timer but set it to even shorter bursts instead. (e.g. 15 minutes work, 5 minutes break.)

Or hell, on my worst days I set it to 5 minutes work, 5 minutes break.

The whole point of this exercise is to just start, because that’s arguably the hardest part about studying, you can’t get yourself to actually start or to actually focus. So promise yourself a five minute break after a very short amount of time of reading.

— skip straight to the questions of a topic, try to do them and identify the information you need to get the answer right.

For example, I came across a bio question that was rather simple but I didn’t know the answer to because I haven’t revised the topic for a while, and the question was, what is needed in the body for anaerobic respiration to take place? And the answer was simple, but I didn’t know because again, I didn’t study the material before answering the paper.

one’s brain can have the habit of being complacent especially when you don’t wanna do work, so diving head first into the questions and realizing that you don’t know jack shit would be a good wake up call for you and your brain—and this can connect to the second point that I made because you might find that you’d be eager to get the answer right all on your own, and become curious as to what the answer is.

important to remember …

erase everything bad that you were told or led to believe about studying. I promise that if you look for ways to make it engaging for you and form a habit, studying can be something you don’t dread or worry about everyday. You are capable. This is the start of your journey. Yes, the question of ‘what if I get distracted again’ will always be there but think about what could happen if today is the first day you’re not distracted. If you don’t at least try to start now, you will have zero chance of being able to actually focus and study. But if you try, the worst that will happen is that you tried. If you keep trying, it will happen. I promise.

If you need any more tips regarding adhd, (or being undiagnosed,) please do let me know. I’ll do my best to help.

[batbirdies]

ADHD and being your own zookeeper

So, I was diagnosed with mixed ADHD in my late 20′s. It’s been a couple years since then and I was recently lamenting to a close friend about the difficult process of working out alternative methods of doing things once you’ve (finally) realized the standard ways don’t work.

With that in mind I thought I would just volunteer some advice I have gathered over the last couple years of attempting to be my own zookeeper.

This will mainly be with an ADHD focus since that’s me but hopefully it will be helpful to lots of ND people.

to start, you’ve probably heard of inviting people over to force yourself to clean. This is.... a method. And it works! until it doesn’t (ie burnout). Basically this is a way to trigger a stress response in yourself that forces motivation. You can do this. I have done this. But I would say this is an absolute last resort and not something you should ever be doing on a regular basis. It is not the healthy way to go about this. So here are my tips on hopefully maintaining your life without needing to resort to this stressful method.

(also I know this is long ADHD peeps, I’m sorry I’m just longwinded it can’t be helped.)

So, to get started

1. Time yourself. 

Sometimes a whole task is overwhelming to think about and starting it feels impossible because the idea of finishing it feels impossible. So what I often do instead is just choose a specificed amount of time (a SHORT amount). I usually do 15 minutes, but you can do whatever you choose, and tell myself I will spend that amount of time on a task (usually cleaning but can be anything). This feels much more managable to me, it’s a definite length of time and I know I am capable of 15 minutes (or whatever amount of time you can manage) of sustained activity. 

also DO NOT keep going after the time is up. Stop. Because if you keep going your brain will then remember this and know that 15 minutes isn’t actually just 15 minutes and then you’re back to the initial problem of being overwhelmed. Pick a time and stick to that time. 

2. Do things the easy way.

When I say this what I mean is “do things the way that sounds easiest to YOU”. Sometimes that is actually, objectively, the harder way to do something. It’s less efficient, takes longer etc, but it feels more doable for whatever reason. Just do it the way you are capable of doing it. 

As an example I needed to clean the litter box really bad but I just kept putting off and then feeling guilty and also gross and instead of just cleaning it I dumped the whole thing and started fresh because it felt like less work. Alternatively on other days I have been planning to dump the whole thing and start fresh but THAT sounds like heavy lifting and being outside but I can manage to just scoop the box like normal. So I do that instead. 

3. Do things part way

This is more something to learn to be ok with rather than a method in and of itself. But along with the first suggestion, 15 minutes sometimes isn’t long enough to complete a task. And sometimes you don’t have another 15 minutes later in the day to finish it etc. But doing part of a task is SO MUCH better than doing none of it. I have started using the mantra “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing what you can.” 

4. Make a list

This is a suggestion I see on tons of (bad, unhelpful) articles online about ADHD and accomplishing tasks. I find that it can be sometimes helpful and sometimes not, depending on what it is I need to get done. For my actual office job, it can be really helpful because I sometimes get frozen because there’s too many things to do and I can’t seem to just pick a place to start. Making a list in this case helps me to just start moving in a specific direction and keep going. This can also be the case with cleaning if you just don’t know where to begin. But do not feel like you have to do this either, because sometimes a list just feels like pressure to accomplish things and that’s not helpful at all.

An alternativey way I have found to make lists in relation to #1 is to make a list of things I will spend X amount of time doing, because as someone whose brain flits between tasks rapidly when I’m not in hyperfocus mode it’s sometimes easier to keep swapping back and forth, however if you do it TOO quickly you don’t accomplish anything. So I try to time things. Ten minutes here, ten minutes there, etc. or whatever amount of time you choose. 

5. Do things the minute they occur to you if at all possible

I’m sure I don’t even need to say this and people will know immediately why, but just literally. You won’t remember. Do not tell yourself you’ll do it later when it’s more convenient you are GOING To forget until you are laying in bed trying to sleep and then go “oh shit I didn’t do the thing”. And for the record it is totally ok to get up and out of bed and go do the thing if it feels managable and won’t keep you up all night. If it will, put an alarm in your phone to remind you the next day at a convenient time. 

6. Get a body double

This is something I’ve always sort of known about but didn’t understand until recently, and it’s actually a thing you can even look up articles about it now. Basically for some unknown reason it will feel easier to stay on task if there is another person with you. I have invited my sister over to hang out with me while I clean my apartment before. The difficult aspect of having someone in person, especially if its for cleaning, is that you have to be ok with them seeing the dirty version. However I have also found this can work almost equally as well over the phone! So totally get on the phone with a friend while you task!

I do advise that you tell whoever you are asking for help this way that that’s what you’re doing. at least for me, depending on the task, if can take up enough attention that it’s hard to maintain conversation. But if they person knows that they can either carry the convo or be chill with silence while they also continue their things on the other end. 

7. use a crock pot

This is obviously cooking specific, but I recently bought myself a slow cooker and it’s been a game changer for making myself cook. For whatever reason it is so much easier to make myself get meals going midday than it is in the evenings. And I’m also much more likely to clean up the mess when I can do it before the food is ready. There are ALSO CROCKPOT BAGS YOU CAN BUY!! SO YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO WASH THE CROCKPOT BETWEEN USES, JUST THE LID! But if the bag leaks or something you can wash the pot part in the disahwasher (and the lid)

8. buy frozen meals

tbh frozen meals are way too small they do not equal an actual meal in my mind, however when you are full on into hyperfocused mode and the idea of stopping to eat is laughable, these will be your rescue. Pop it in the microwave and go back to your thing, eat it while you continue your thing. It’s at least a more healthy and well rounded snack than potato chips, or alternatively, not eating.

9. Make your next appointment before you leave

If you’re anything like me, sometimes making that phone call and scheduling something is like some incomprehensibly unmanagable task even though it will literally take 1 minute. (But then if you have phone anxiety then that complication is thrown in.)

So when possible, after a dentist or doctor appt, make your next one before you leave. Most dentists want you on a 6 month rotation, doctors on a yearly one (chiro monthly etc). I know that is like a crazy long time away to think about having something on your schedule but they’ll call you a day or two before the appt to remind you and if you MUST you can reschedule, but that will at least force you into making the phone call if you end up being unable to keep the appt. (however be aware of cancellation fees etc. this is ALWAYS a good idea because of such things) 

Also ask if you can schedule online, a lot of places have that ability now!!

10. Try new methods and be flexible

As I’m sure is the case for a lot of peope with ADHD, things that work really well one day will not be an ounce of help the next. This can be particularly frustrating because you will think you have found the holy grail method. FINALLY, SOMETHING THAT WORKS!!! I WILL BE ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH ALL OF THE THINGS I HAVE STRUGGLED WITH MY WHOLE LIF-- WTF this doesn’t help anymore. 

I have found that when something is a NEW strategy, it helps a lot! and then after a week or two it loses effectiveness. This is fine though, because if you have enough methods you can cycle through them and they are like new again!! It’s like hiding a toy from your cat after it gets bored and then giving it to them again in a month and oh wow! new toy!!

This is where I’m at currently and all of the helpful things I could come up with. I may add things as they occur to me<3

[concerningwolves]

Hey! Do you have any tips for breaking writers block when you're adhd and/or autistic? Be it your own tips or a link to another post? My friend and I need help haha

Ahh sorry you got buried under spam and old ask game asks. (I... really need to sort my ask box >.<' ). But here we go, a month late, and hopefully better late than never:

Quick ideas for beating writer's block when autistic and/or ADHD

I've got this old post I wrote on writer's block and focus troubles. Ironically, this was before my autism diagnosis but the tips still happen to be things I, an autistic person, did to manage writing when faced with executive dysfunction (except I didn't know what executive dysfunction was at that point lol). I'm linking this with one important caveat, though: if you have ADHD, "stepping away" might do more harm than good; struggling to start tasks is a Big Thing with ADHD, so not starting the task at all is entirely counterproductive. (Unless you're in burnout! Here's a post about the differences between block and burnout with some ideas on what to do for each, in case that's at all helpful to you).

And here's something yoinked from another old ask-answer:

sometimes a break from more “serious” writing is what you need. Maybe try and take the characters from your main project and drop them somewhere else for the hell of it. I like to throw my characters into the MCU without warning like “lmao have fun in a strange modern world where there are gods and a guy in an iron flying suit bye.” Or, if fandom cross-overs aren’t your thing, find a writing prompt or take an idea you like and use it to form a short story with your characters instead.

Some other ideas I've seen around for writer's block with ADHD/Autism are:

Try voice recording or text to speech (i.e., absolute stream-of-consciousness unfiltered brain-to-mouth, giving yourself permission to 100% bullshit if you like, and see what rattles loose in the brain box)

Stream of consciousness writing in general, not even necessarily about a particular prompt or particular project. This one can be done in combination with:

Writing sprints! One minute timers, two minute timers, five minutes – set it for as long as you want, but when you're fighting executive dysfunction and/or difficulty focusing, the burst of urgency that comes from a shorter timer is very helpful.

And speaking of the sense of urgency: gamify your writing! There are different ways to do this, with varying elements of risk. I'll link some ways to do this at the end under "resources".

Exercise. I don't necessarily mean hitting the gym, but a quick burst of exercise prior to writing to get the heart rate up can help wake your brain up a bit. (Or, if you find repetitive exercise mind-numbingly boring like I do, the writing sure does start to look appealing lol).

Meditation. Okay, this one is sort of 🤔 for me, because I do often hear from fellow autistics and our ADHD cousins that meditation is literally impossible for us. It is for me. But! Like with exercise above, if meditation bores you instead of helping relax and ""clear your mind"", you can probably use that boredom to your advantage. Or, it might work as intended.

Change your workspace/situation/routine. Sometimes the problem is that you need new sensory input, or that your brain has gotten thoroughly bored and decided not to tell you. Use a different chair. Move to the kitchen table. Write at a different time of day. Have a different snack (or try having a snack while writing...). Basically, look at what you're currently trying, and see how you can do it differently.

It's also really good practise to get comfortable with Being Bad At Writing. Perfectionism and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria are the biggest, meanest brain weasels with the sharpest teeth. Don't let them bully you. It sucks. It takes a lot of time and effort and internal work, which is why I was loathe to include this on a post of quick solutions, but. It is important.

And getting comfortable with this doesn't necessarily mean learning how to accept critique, or accepting that sometimes you'll write things that suck. It means accepting that sometimes you won't handle critique or feedback well, and also accepting that you won't always manage to beat the writer's block or be productive. Sometimes you have to make peace with the fact that you're going to feel horrible, feel your feelings, and try to remind yourself on the other side that none of it means you're a talentless hack.

Resources

Anything with a 🪙 next to it is paid only (I've tried to limit these and find alternatives).

The resources are split into things that "gameify" writing (i.e., hack your dopamine/serotonin in ways that reaaaaallly help autistic and ADHD folks), writing programs that are designed to help you focus, writing programs that track your habits and appeal to the "ohhhh numbers going up" brain, focus-aiding apps, and some miscellaneous stuff. Under the cut to save your dashes.

"Gamifying" your writing:

The Most Dangerous Writing App – You can't stop typing before your set timer runs out, or you risk losing your work. Excellent for warming up, stream-of-consciousness, or if you're feeling reckless, working on your actual project. I did a lot of the second draft of When Dealing with Wolves on this thing (it was terrifying yet highly effective).

Written? Kitten! – Get rewarded for meeting your set writing wordcount with kitten pictures. Haven't used this one personally, but heard wonderful things about it.

4TheWords 🪙 – This one gamifies writing in the most literal sense. As in, it's an online game where you defeat monsters, explore and level up by writing words. I did the free trial a couple years back, and I've heard there are a lot of different ways you can lower the subscription cost. The only reason I haven't gone back to it is because I feel like I can't justify spending money on it when I'm doing fine with Scrivener and free resources, but maybe one day I will purely for the fun factor...

StimuWrite – similar idea to Written Kitten; the app provides visual/audio stimulation while you write, which is great for many ADHD-ers and autistics. There's a progress bar, soundscape options, typing effects and emoji reactions as rewards, among other features.

Write or Die – This is The Most Dangerous Writing App meets Written Kitten. As far as I can figure out, the basic web version is free to use; you can set the parameters like how how long you want to write for, how many words to reach, and whether you want rewards for meeting goals or punishments for failing to meet them. There's also a stimulus mode, where the nice auditory stimulus goes away if you stop writing.

Minimalist/Focus writing programs:

Focus Writer [Windows] – thoroughly stripped-down minimalist word processor. As far as I know, it has basic functions like find-replace, but mostly it's designed only for writing. Not for formatting, spellchecking or editing.

iA Writer 🪙 [iOS] – Similar to Focus Writer, it's designed to fill your screen with a simple workspace. Allows you to use markdown formatting, and has a feature called Focus Mode that blurs out everything except the sentence you're typing. (If I could find a Windows-friendly alternative to this with that same feature I would be so happy). A cheaper alternative is 1Writer, but that doesn't have the focus mode.

Typewrite Something – Absolutely bare minimum web-based typewriter simulator. Basically just a blank screen that you start typing on, and the words appear in a typewriter font. Great for stream-of-consciousness without the risk level of TMDWA because you can't backspace. If you don't like the clacky sound, turn off your volume.

Focus Apps

Cold Turkey – Block applications and websites on your laptop/computer for a specified period of time. You can even block the entire internet.

Forest – Similar to Cold Turkey in that it stops you from seeking distractions or getting distracted. Set a timer and the app starts growing a tree. If you leave the app, the tree dies. Once you have a tree, you add it to your forest.

Habit-building writing programs:

Novlr – Simple, minimal layout, and tracks your writing goals per month and day, and your daily streak. There are more features in the plus and pro versions, and you can only have five projects in the free version, but otherwise it looks like a good free alternative to the next two programs:

750 Words 🪙 – Made for free writing, but also very useful for drafting. I had it for a month or so a while back on the free trial. It tracks writing streaks and gives you fun graphs and statistics at the end of each session, including number of distractions, actual typing time vs total time and average words per minute. Also, it analyses the mood of what you wrote, which I always found delightful.

Writing Analytics 🪙 – If writing streaks, badges and analytical graphs get your dopamine going, then I really recommend this one. The writing screen itself is very minimalistic, but it still shows your writing speed (I loved watching that go up) and your goal progress. In terms of analytics, it tracks a LOT of different things, including time spent writing vs revising, average wordcounts per day/month/year, and words written vs words deleted. I used this for about a year before I switched to Scrivener, and the switch was purely because I needed something that wasn't subscription-based. (Apparently since I stopped using it there's also a new feature that lets you create private writing rooms and see other writer's progress).

Misc.

WriteTrack – Not a word processor, but it has very good tools for tracking and planning your writing. Again, if graphs going up helps your brain, this is excellent, but you can't see it in real time.

10 ADHD-friendly brain tricks for writers – what it says on the tin: ten tips for writers with ADHD; I'm particularly fond of "Put away one knife", which breaks the nebulous task of "start writing" into something really simple like just... pull out your desk chair.

[vulturesrottencorpse]

autism isn't silly

titles self explanatory. I just wanna rant BC recently tiktok has been making disabilities very much more known (since around 2020)

One of the most "popular" of these disabilities are autism and also ADHD. Of course theirs others ppl are idolizing (Tourette's, bpd, DID, ect) But I don't have any of those so I can't really speak on that.

What I do have (diagnosed at least,) is autism, ADHD, anxiety and depression, some of the most popular and idolised disabilities on tiktok.

No, autism isn't "silly sharks dinosaurs hyperfixations!! Super smart and silly and funny!!". ADHD isn't "haha silly can't focus so energetic!!" Depression isn't "omg I'm so emo and sad nobody gets me" and anxiety isn't "oh I don't like talking to people and I can't keep my hands still"

This should be obvious but it's so often out like this that it's making me pissed.

And then theres people who'll tell you "autism/adhd isn't a disability it's a super ability!" Which invalidates your struggles. Yeah, I know some niche facts about fish and dinosaurs, I also don't know how to socialise with anybody on my own, I lay in bed all day and do nothing as hours pass by no matter how much I want to get up I just can't. I can't focus on anything unless it interests me even if I know I have to. I am constantly excluded from social groups because people either find me annoying/weird or too quiet and boring. I'm constantly depressed because I'm so lonely yet I'm too terrified to actually reach out and make new connections so I can't *stop* being lonely. I'm self aware about all my problems so therapists can't do much other than say "well you're very self aware" or "have you tried setting Alarms?". It is a constant cycle that goes on and on. And then I get told that all of this is a "superpower?" It's a disability. It disables me from doing things neurotipical people can do. Just because I might be good at picking up rhythm or naming a few facts about animals doesn't mean my autism/ADHD is some gift from the heavens. It sucks. It's made my life so hard but every time I try to explain it to someone they don't understand. Or they think they do, but they don't. Because it's impossible to describe this to someone without autism without them going "oh, well that's normal" because they've experienced it from time to time, but when I tell them the way I experience it is 5x worse for me, they say I'm exaggerating, that I need to toughen up, that it's "just how the world works".

I'm honestly sick of being treated like I'm not human. Like I don't have feelings that get hurt, like I don't have bad experiences or things that can ruin my life. Because autism is treated as some silly little personality trait. It's not. It's a fucking disability

Btw acoustic isn't funny. Stop

[sexhaver]

ive made this post multiple times before and will probably make it again but the worst part of getting medicated for ADHD is that the two main effects are:

mentally, you become God. everything is easy, easier than easy. things that were impossible unmedicated are insultingly trivial on 50mg Vyvanse XR. focus, executive function, sociability, memory - everything is cranked up to 11 and then has the knob ripped off. this isn't gradual, either; you can physically feel yourself go from a barely-conscious husk to the physical embodiment of efficiency over the course of 15 minutes while the THX noise plays nonstop and keeps ramping up the entire time.

physically, you break yourself in every way that matters. you grind your teeth to dust and develop TMJ until you forget there was a time when you didn't wake up every morning with a headache from clenching your jaw all night. you genuinely just forget to eat or drink for 6 hours at a time until your doctor-approved meth wears off and you can suddenly hear everything your body has been screaming, begging for you to do since breakfast. the comedown itself is hell incarnate, feeling like being dropped off a cliff onto spikes a mile below. this happens every afternoon for the rest of your life, and you know it's coming the whole time.

this leads to the following outcomes:

the first point is extremely visible to everyone in your life, often times even more so than it is to yourself.

not only does everyone else notice that you're suddenly acting differently, they like that version of you way more. i know this sounds like depressive thinking, but i have literally been told this exact line to my face multiple times. you become a less flaky friend to your peers and a more consistent worker to your boss/coworkers. by all externally visible measures, you become an objectively better person to be around.

the second point is invisible to everyone except you 99% of the time.

the other 1% of the time, they notice the side effects because the clock struck midnight 6pm and the carriage turned back into a pumpkin your meds suddenly wore off. as far as an external observer is concerned, you suddenly went from being bubbly and fun to hang out with to a hangry cranky drain on everyone's energy in 10 minutes flat.

living with these inescapable facts every single day for years on end naturally leads to the following conclusions:

"When I feel bad/stressed, everyone else likes me. When I feel good/relaxed, everyone else dislikes me."

"Feeling good is an indication that I am currently doing something wrong, or am forgetting to do something entirely. In either case, it means everyone else in my life dislikes me."

"Feeling bad is not just an indication that I am doing something right, it's a prerequisite. Unless I feel bad, nobody else in my life likes me."

"Nobody else cares how I feel, they never will, and anyone saying otherwise is a liar. Sure, people understand that they have to say they care about my feelings to avoid sounding like sociopaths, but the fact that those same people consistently like me better when I'm medicated and doing nice stuff for them (while screaming internally and grinding my teeth to dust) than when I'm unmedicated and relaxing proves that they're full of shit."

"Since I'm literally the only person who cares about my own happiness (see above), and everyone else on Earth is happier when I'm suffering, it's not just difficult for me to fight depression and assert my self-worth - it's actively harming everyone else around me."

eventually you learn to turn off your feelings for a while to get through especially bad patches, but the entire thought process never goes away and eventually starts impacting how you view other people. i don't have a hopeful note to end this post on.

[echoesofadream]

is adhd medicine (concerta) supposed to make me feel like this

-all the ways which when it comes to function, I am more, and all the ways I am not I am less

- i do things super fast, everything is a hurry .I get things done but a most of them are bullshit like tumblr blogging or checking every internet chronic kpop fan fomo outlet there is .

-I cant do something that isnt top priority in the world because I cant relax enough to do that. its better to sit on the floor and be in prepared mode instead of reading or painting or anything like that

-i have never been on speed but I would assume it feels like this based of the name

-I feel like I can do anything! except read a single page of text of course. thats literally impossible

-everything is on fire I need to put the fire out. right now. first though. where is it

-cant do anything that doesnt give instant gratification (what I mean by adhd medicine induced adhd)

-did I mention that Im quick. and super active. wait the h in adhd stands for hyperactivity....this is wrong...I do this and this and this and this and this and STOP. IM STUCK:

-incredibly hard to move out of situation when im stuck in it. like i could be doing ANYTHING and im like. I cant stop. doing this. whatever it is. I cant move on. this is a familiar feeling that everyone has including me before medicine but now it's like. so much worse. you know the feeling when you cant get out of bed. or youre in the couch and too lazy to get ready for bed. this is like that but dream (nightmares when you cant move) level of lethargy. its like im sitting at the kitchen table. I just got home. but then it's been three hours. and Im still sitting there doing whatever im doing. it's like. so bad. im like. I need to shower. okay this has been sort of an obstacle for me sometimes. but now it's like. shower. I need to shower. hours pass. I havent showered. maybe I just wont shower today. this dysfunction is making me realize how functional I can be in some areas of daily life actually.

-^above would be good if I was working a busy job when things happened all at once. and I had to get things done and not get distracted. but im literally an unemployed uni dropout. im trying to increase my level of focus. im trying to learn how to be in the present and breathe and be less anxious. this medicine is doing the absolute opposite for me. I started this medication because I want to be able to study but how is this supposed to help be in any area in life except like working at the ER or if my job is just answering emails and that kind of thing. all I can do right now is make posts, talk during movies (never been a me thing im very serious about silence during film watching), have a stomach ache and too fast heartbeat, actually work on a novel instead of creating a document that I abandon after the first and only time I write on it, be anxious, eat hot chip and lie

Help??`????????

[beeseverywhen]

So I've been thinking about what tumblr is in this metaphor and I've decided: tumblr is like a pirate radio ship/commune on a boat. Some ppl saw what twitter was doing and they were like yeah we could do that and they grouped together and bought one of those really big ships. Like an ex cruise ship. And everyone was like 'this will never work they are doing what twitter is doing but in a batshit and frankly stupid way. They are more interested in painting the boat to make it look all funky rather than learning about how boats work and what they need to do to keep it afloat and how they are gonna get food and stuff. Everyone is like 'this is gonna end up badly and they'll all come to land with their tail between their legs, apart from those that are chronically sea dogs, who'll end up going to twitterland where things are actually being run properly, or else they'll consider Facebook' (which is actually a harbourside company town, but the houses are all on stilts.)

While twitter was ensuring they got important society running tm people and Facebook was ensuring the company store was filled to the brim with products from their sponsors and was like selling timeshares so that ppl could live part time in their little pods on stilts tumblr was like yeah sure everyone come on board. So you had like a section of the ship full of clowns and another full of tired adults who've quit their professional jobs and run away to find themselves and there's also a thriving lbgt section of the ship that's just like regular lbgt people who don't feel they fit in to the communities they lived in before. And there's a reasonable number of teenagers barely old enough to leave home, who've all run away from the confinement of the societal expectations or whatever

Every now and again there's rumours from the land press that some celebrity is in hiding on The tumblr (this is some kind of pun between like a drinking glass and a boat. I don't know) but all the tumblr residents are kinda shifty about it and no interviewer knows if it's all some big joke or if rockstar of the week really is hiding out on there, apparently along with a few actors, some authors and a few artists. They aren't lying they just don't seem to care. Celebrity? What celebrity? That's just Neil. He's on dish duty this week.

So for a good few years twitterland is thriving Facebook town is thriving. Tumblr is doing better than expected? They haven't sunk the boat yet. Lots of people from various walks of life like to come there to get away from things on a little retreat in to Weird tm culture. People on there are a bit elitist like 'yeah we aren't sheep, living on land under capitalism, we are here, living life as humans are supposed to. Creating art, having weird sex parties. It's all good'. The only thing these groups of ppl have in common is that they don't really vibe with regular culture on land. Its a counter culture thing. But they all live alongside each other pretty well. Mostly keeping to their own parts of the ship but getting on well when they bump in to each other. The guy that owns the largest share of the boat is like 'look. I'm going to sell a stake in the boat to my buddy so we can do some improvements' nobody agrees but it happens and nothing really changes. The old owner is still the captain. People are kinda annoyed cause they are like. 'This was a communal thing' but the guy is like, yeah but I decided to get things going, to find a boat, refit it, invite people to stay. I've been steering the boat all this time. This is for the good of everyone, the boat will be better for it

And then, a group of some of the younger residents, decide to put on an event, but they have no event planning skills and also, commit a deadly sin on board the boat: they bring money in to it. Usually money only changes hands when ppl leave the boat, but they decide to host a party on board the ship and get residents to pay for it. The party is very underwhelming. It's a great embarrassment and lots of people leave the boat for good. Its no longer seen as a good retreat for celebrities, a few stay, but they are more 'tumblr weirdos' than they are celebrities by this point. They've shed the garb of 'celeb' and fully acclimated. The hold outs are mostly ppl that were already kind of uncomfortable with being 'celebrities' they've always been more comfortable just being a weird guy just like everyone else left on the boat.

News places stop bothering with tumblr, they are more concerned with Facebook town and twitter which are considered successful, and are making money with advertising/ product placements in the 'life in a day' videos they churn out. The ppl left on the tumblr ship fully lean in to the weirdness. But without any celebrity following/positive news, on land ppl are very much unimpressed with tumblr. The guy who bought out the share goes bankrupt and the share of the boat gets transferred to a different business. After a while the original captain is like 'you know what. Its been a wild ride but I don't think boating is for me. I'm going to go live in a house. GL.

The business conglomerate that owns the share in the boat is like. Well. You need a captain. Can't just leave you to it. We've got a great guy for the job. Don't worry he loves this whole thing. He's a strict business guy and everyone is like 'he's going to sell the boat off for parts! They'll take our home!' But actually the new guy is very in to the idea of the tumblr boat, though he really doesn't get it. He keeps popping in for little holidays. He's like 'I think we could make this a holiday resort' and all the residents are like, this would be a terrible holiday resort. It was once a cruise ship, sure, but its something very different now. Why would we turn it in to a holiday destination when there are already 100s of non converted cruise ships doing a better job? And the guy is just like sipping a pina colada through a straw still dressed in a suit, like shrugging. 'It's only an idea'. He seems to be enjoying himself but he still seems a bit baffled by things, he's like 'so what's with the sex parties' and everyone is like, it's no big deal. Those of us not involved are used to it by now we don't care. They seem to be having a good time. Good for them.

Tumblr has been finding it hard to find places to moor up and resupply (it's still disorganised as hell so who knows how they're buying their communally owned food) for a while and it's not been helped by the fact that their 'all are welcome' policy has led to a few on the run criminals camping out on board, without them knowing which has given them bad press. The new captain is like 'I can solve this. Don't worry about it' and next thing they know, he's hosting a press conference saying that the boat is banning sex parties. And everyone is like?! How could you do that? Some of them are like 'sex parties are a part of life on board. We'd be nothing without them' and others are like 'personally I'm not bothered about the sex parties but I don't think they are the problem, we keep asking you to remove the wanted criminals we've warned you about, but you did nothing and now you want to boot out the rule abiding, perfectly civil sex party attendees? How could you make a decision like this without consulting us. Who will you be kicking out next? This is a slippery slope'. And the guy is like hold on a second let's not be too harsh. "Look guys. We need to reboot our image. These harbours are saying they don't want us to dock. They say we aren't family friendly. They say we've got nothing to contribute to their economy's. Banning the parties is the only way. Nobody's getting booted. You all have the opportunity to promise not to have sex on board again, and to dispose of all the posters advertising past parties and the photo collages and stuff and If you do that, you're free to stay.'

Nobody's impressed by that so loads of people leave. Either because they were attending parties and want to continue to, or just because they don't agree. By now parts of the boat are straight up abandoned. There's nobody new to move in to the rooms people left, so they are just like, standing dark and empty, still decorated, but abandoned. Time goes on, they don't have any trouble docking but it's getting harder and harder to pay for supplies, with so many less people and the company with the big share in the boat are not so willing to pay for things now they see there's little hope of them getting any of it back. (Things are just depressing now it's all empty. They'll never sell this as a resort) eventually they sell it off to another company.

The ppl still living there are very resistant to the new owners like 'they already took our sex parties and drove away our friends. How much worse can it get? What are you going to do?' And they don't trust any suggestions. But the new owners are like 'look. We kind of understand how things work on your boat. We don't personally have anything like this, but we do have experience managing a load of little communities living as property guardians in abandoned hotels/resorts. Its not the same! But we do have an idea of what you are trying to do here. You are artists. We get that.

And people start to warm up to them a bit when it's been a year or so and they aren't selling off bits but eventually the new guys are like 'look we can't keep paying for your food without any contribution. Our other communes give us a cut of their business proceeds, some of them pay rent. Everyone is very unimpressed by this, but over time they warm up to the idea somewhat (it's made clear that the boat needs major repairs if it's gonna keep floating) and unlike the last guy who was pretty content to drink pina coladas and imagine he was on a different boat, the people from this company do seem to be interested in hearing from the residents. They are making small repairs. They are hosting residents meetings.

They set up a gift shop, stocking things that the residents might find amusing. They set up a few paid for initiatives that get completely shot down. They convert some of the abandoned rooms in to double sized rooms and are like 'you can pay to upgrade and live in a bigger cabin'. You can pay for a new door in an interesting color or new carpeting. They set up a stage and a gallery. People can pay to display their art/ do a comedy routine or play music. Some people pay for stage time to bring issues to light. People are still very hesitant. There's a spectrum of ppl joining in with the efforts they approve of (gift shop. Personalised doors) but ignoring those they don't agree with, and then some ppl strictly refusing to support any of it, and setting up sit ins/graffiting posters advertising the paid for ventures.

And then, some ex twitter residents start dribbling in. Some are like 'I'm only here for a short holiday while they work on putting out the fire' some are like 'I'll be hedging my bets and splitting my time' others are like 'wow this is like vintage tumblr. I can't believe you've remodelled this ship to look just like the one from a decade ago'. Twitter does not work to put out the fire. Long lasting residents are a bit like ??? Do they not know we've been here all along. More and more people move in, trying to bring some of the quirks of their twitter world community to the boat. The gift shop keeps going. Advertisers pay to put up posters. The gallery seems to regularly have art so clearly someone's paying. Nobody is really sure what the future looks like.

I can not tell if some of these bots are bots. By combining random words they are perfectly emulating tumblr users. The only thing that I'm clinging on to is how averse the average tumblr is to having their face next to their posts. But some of these bots are starting to use pictures of ppl out doing things/ messing around and I'm like... this could be a person. Is this them or is it a meme. Their face isn't in it. It's not centred on their body. This could be a person. Especially as twitter continues to slowly sink like a very slowly burning very very large construction in the sea.

It's like one of those big abandoned rigs/sea stations where years after its been left some ppl come across it and move in like 'we can repurpose this' and next thing you know they are living there like 'we are a country now' and things seem to be thriving and they appear to have a functioning society and its like 'have these ppl escaped capitalism' and then one day there's some kind of disaster and loads of ppl abandon it and come back to regular society and they are all like telling stories about how it was.

And then as time goes on every now and again another person gives up and abandons ship, and comes back to land living society with a even crazier story about what's been going down since the last person left. And time goes on and eventually it's like largely abandoned. The ppl still living there are either very loyal or remain thanks to sunk cost. And its pretty well understood that by this point the guy in charge is a dictator and its all a bit culty and there's no real reason to stay. Its just living amongst like empty rusting offices (cause there aren't enough ppl left to keep it running like a society/improving so it's just like an abandoned weather station in the middle of the sea again and the weather's always shit cause its the middle of the sea. The dream is dead, they are just only realising one at a time.

And then one day someone's boat goes past and the place is on fire and everyone's like hey are you guys OK? And tries to evacuate them. But they are all like 'our leader says its fine. Its cool we don't need rescuing. Like you could rescue us. Life on land is shit. Enjoy capitalism losers!' And everyone's a bit like uncomfortable about leaving them there, but it's like. What can you do. They are just like 'the fire keeps to its side of the station we keep to ours, its np.'

But everyone decides to keep an eye on things all the same. Reporting on things out of morbid curiosity and a little bit like 'you can still get out. We're here.' And then one day the place (still on fire) starts to sink in to the sea and you really think they'll jump ship now. What's left? But they are still clinging on to this dream of what it could have been. And the place is like burning but also littered with advertisements cause the cult leader is letting just about anyone sponsor them, and it is a burning wreck sinking in to the sea, but also its on the news 24/7 so there are always ppl willing to stick their logo on it

Anyway, I've got completely carried away with my metaphor here. But twitters like that. And as ppl slowly abandon ship and are like 'I guess we'll return to the shitty lives we thought we'd escaped' they bring a bit of 'comune that's also a country on a rig in the middle of the sea' culture with them. And so there are now more ppl on tumblr doing twitter things like having attractively posed pictures as their icon

[sburbian-sage]

Hi skepticArbiter!

I don't know how long it's been on your end since you posted that GristTorrent ask, but your offhanded proposal of a Universal Grist Bank has driven my ADHD to heights of hyperfixation that have never been seen before. It has been months. Being a native Smith of Coins that's about what you'd expect, lol. Anyway! I bring it up because the session I'm currently in is serendipitously about the absolute best group I could ask for in making the idea a reality. It really feels like the Shine itself legitimately just manifested itself and forced whatever the infinitesimally small chance of something like this actually happening I swear to dog.

Thirteen of us, all have made it through at least ten sessions (with CERTAIN PEOPLE at significantly more than that-- 32 if she's to be believed and I've seen no evidence to the contrary and lots of proof that it's true) and managed to naturally reroll our native classpects. All of us. Not a lick of vagabouncy. It's insane. Both of our cardinal aspects’ first playthroughs were duet sessions. There's public proof several places on the replayernet going back timestamps that our Bane of Stage, Page of Mist, and Rouge of Sand have been sessionmates before. The Bane of Stage hunts Azurites for Fun and Him Time, 12 confirmed PK kills that I am aware of. Our Waste of Law(aforementioned 32 session legend) is awesometier. Several of us are pre-replayernet loose veterans. Our tactician classes, Flux player, and Mind player have been freaking out like ants when their trail gets stepped on. No major glitches or bugs so far, knock on wood. It feels too good to be true but in discussing it all of us dealt with capital-b-Bullshit scenarios with Light players in our last runs so I'm just trying to enjoy it without ruining it worrying.

I'm sending this message primarily to let you know that this is actually happening, and to thank you for coming up with the UGB in the first place. But also, I have come with some questions. I have never had to deal with the Others before (miraculous in it's own right tbh) and thus have absolutely no idea what to expect. I'm not part of the side that's doing the bartering, but I've known a good chunk of this group over the replayernet for a pretty long time and consider many dear friends(another insane thing to actually happen- us ending up together) and I am. Concerned. Everyone says “oh they do impossible bargins” and “will take parts of your soul” but I've never seen anyone actually SPECIFY what the terms for their deals are. It's not that I don't believe it's really that bad, it's just I'd much rather know than not know, you know? Is it a faux pas I'm not aware of to talk about it? Since you had to do it yourself for your ring journey I figured you'd be as good a place as any to ask and since it's over text it might not be as impactful for you as asking my friends face to face potentially could be for them, I apologize if that's incredibly insensitive of me.

For further context, the group is split so some of us are working on bartering with the others (Rouge of Sand, Guide of Void, Maid of Rage), some of us are actually making the physical server and programming the necessary software (myself, Witch of Time, Sage of Dreams, Heir of Sound), some are doing both (Waste of Law, Ward of Mind, Sylph of Flux), and our Seer of Space, Bane of Stage, and Page of Mist are covering taking care of session stuff where they can for now so the rest of us can focus on getting everything together for the bank.

Thank you again, and in advance for any insight you are willing to share,

snugglySocialist

Holy shit! I'm glad that an offhanded statement I meant mostly as a joke finally led to good things happening, instead of just getting me in trouble. Though that could still happen if I endorse this and it turns into an All Or Nothing situation, so pull through if you can. I said it before and I'll say it again, if you pull this off then not only will you have the eternal of gamebreakers, people who accidentally break their game, and anyone in a Ring Journey, but your handles will be put in the history books right next to the guy who figured out the Alimentator hack.

As for your question, I'm afraid I'm not a good firsthand source of information on this topic. I did not make the bargain for the Ring Journey I'm on, someone else did it. You are right that information is hard to come by, but "it's difficult to talk about" is only one reason out of three. Some people hide the nature of their bargains for protection. Especially if it's a larger operation like a Ring Server, if the presence of the server hinges upon X condition being fulfilled, and some malefactor wants to take down the site, best not to let them know which conditions to break. The third reason is that "not disclosing details of the bargain to other people" may itself be a condition of the bargain. It is, in fact, as annoying as it sounds, and all of these combined (not to mention the fact that writing down anything about the Others is a passive source of corruption) makes this topic a bitch to gain any information about.

For your purposes, the institution of a Ring Server isn't that big of an ask, so I don't think the price will be literally impossible or metaphorically impossible (like "consume the hearts of all of your friends and set yourself on fire", that's basically their catty way of saying "we're not giving you a deal"). However, something like a Universal Grist Bank has significantly more "oomph" behind it than an online archive, social media page, or weirdass elitist bookclub. Standard bargaining practice is to respond to any price they give you with "that is too much", in which case they'll either lower the price, or solidify that the price is set.

As for the actual prices, it varies. The Transamphibian founders can't use their real names anymore. CorpseParty got shut down because someone used the server to try and scry cross-session, which apparently violated the deal. In general though, the prices set seem almost spiteful. "They take bits of your soul" is more metaphorical than literal, like really fond memories, your reputation, relationship with someone important, and in the worst cases your ability to engage in a hobby that you consider fundamental to your sense of being. I think there's at least one case where someone's condition was that they can't use any Replayer Network, which effectively unpersons them (this information was shared secondhand for obvious reasons and thus couldn't be verified). It's impossible to tell what the deal is until you have it, and all of your efforts to establish the UGB are basically bottlenecked into dealing with those guys, who can make or break the entire project. And they know this. And you have no power over them, only than knowing that they will not do anything to you unless you ask them to do it. There's really no further advice I can give you other than...

Lawyer up. Read the fine print, argue for fairness as much as possible, and don't let yourself get worked over any more than is necessary.

Once you accept a deal, stick with it. There are no "grace periods", take-backs, or hiding an infraction. If the terms of the deal are broken, the UGB goes up in flames basically forever (unless you make another deal to "recover it").

Genuinely, genuinely, don't chew off more than you can swallow. If the terms of the contract are unlivable to any of the people undertaking it, don't do it.

There is one other aspect I should mention, which is that if the conditions of the deal only concern one person, the deal will still be upheld once that person dies. So if the condition is "nobody can upload Build Grist" and someone uploads Build Grist, then the website is kill. But if the condition is "none of the founders can alchemize anything anymore, and all of the founders end up dying, then the site will stay up. Though it'll obviously need new administrators. Sorry for the macabre example, but this is a little-known facet of Other bargains that not a lot of people know about, and it's why a lot of the older servers and networks are still up.

[jellybeanium124]

adhd vent

cannot believe my psych might require me to do like $3000 and 16 hours of testing to """"prove""" I have adhd. give me 10 minutes I will leave you without a shadow of a doubt.

every couple of months I have this day. I never know when it will happen. but very rarely, I will have a day where I can just... do things. call the people I need to call, email the people I need to email, clean my apartment, run errands. I can get like 4 or 5 things done and I have to fucking milk it when it comes because most days are not like this.

most days getting 1 thing done is a win. getting nothing done is average. getting nothing done + being so filled with bees I can't even focus on stuff that's meant to be entertaining for more than a minute is a bad day. if I get the closing shift there's a 70% chance I will do nothing else that day because I do not have any sense of how time works and am worried if I leave the house to do groceries I will be late for work. on a good day I can do laundry before a closing shift. I never even remember to contact people until a time where I can't (at work, night). I can't even begin building habits like "exercise" because I don't want to do it and forming a habit for something that is technically unnecessary for my survival and I don't want to do is impossible.

there's a decent chance I will do absolutely 0 things on my days off because I'm so beat from work. this is part of why I'm getting into records. I have to LEAVE THE HOUSE to go to a record store. and because it is FUN and I might get a TREAT (new record) I am actually able to sometimes do it. this would be less of an issue if I had more friends where I lived. But Circumstances happened and now I only have one friend where I live. all my other friends are in [HOMETOWN]. I'm working on a second friend.

everything has an exact place in my apartment and if something isn't in its place (or for objects that move a lot, like my phone, one of its few places) I have Absolutely No Fucking Idea Where I Put It. I still have my TI-84 calculator from high school and I still use it if I know I'm gonna do multiple calculations in a row bc I will not remember the previous answers and the TI-84 records it for me. I keep it in my desk drawer. once I thought I lost my phone for like 10 minutes because I used my calculator and then put my phone in the drawer when I was done with the calculator. it took me forever to retrace my steps and realize what I did. I forget things one second after they happen.

I was constantly struggling to turn homework in on time from 7th-9th grade (12-14) and I only "fixed" that problem by developing severe anxiety over turning in homework late. and then I lived with severe anxiety during school years from 9th grade through my freshman year of college (14-18). idk why it suddenly didn't come back my sophomore year. probably because I moved out.

I wanna work in the film industry but that's driven by my effort and I can't even fucking remember I should be doing something about it most of the time!! and then reaching out to people is so difficult! sometimes for anxiety reasons but sometimes I just can't work up whatever I fucking need to work up to respond to an email. I love this work and once I'm on set I'm a hard worker and generally good (people seem to like me) but getting on set has been damn near impossible and not just because it's a difficult industry to break into.

this has just been my life. for 10 fucking years. and it's worse now because I don't have the structure of school or my parents looming over me. I only pay my rent because I have a calendar alert set up every month. I only pay for wifi and my credit card bills because they let you set up auto payments. my roommate is in charge of the electric bill and whenever they text me what my half of this month's payment is I have to venmo them immediately or it will never happen. when my calendar alert to take my birth control pops up on my laptop I don't let myself close it until I've swallowed that pill. when my alarm goes off telling me whatever's in the oven needs to come out, I don't shut it off until I'm out of my seat, otherwise I'd accidentally keep watching youtube or whatever and burn everything. everything's a calendar alert, everything's on a timer, I have a physical fucking whiteboard calendar on my desk to remind me of everything. if I didn't have these things set up and I didn't force myself to be diligent about it, I'd never remember when I needed to go to work, and banks and landlords would start coming after me.

my car is out of windshield wiper fluid. only the driver's side window goes down. the AC's out. and most recently the aux cord stopped working (this happened before and I got a new cord which worked for a short while so I think there's something wrong with the car). and I haven't fucking found the time to take it to someone and get it fixed. my AC is out!! in june!!! and I can only open one window!!! and I suffer because the car still technically works and drives me where I need to go and since this isn't life threatening or otherwise immediately pressing I have no idea when I will get to this!!!

I just want the days where doing two things being a major accomplishment to be a thing of the past. I want it to be a distant memory. I want to be able to function like everyone else.

you don't need to send me to someone for 16 hours across two days and cost me $3000. Idk what more proof you could possibly fucking need. give me the goddamn pills that will make my brain work.

[tinywitchgoblin]

Hi I am so sorry I put an ask in a few moments ago for a bad batch ship but I thought of more things to add 😅 so if you don’t mind I’ll start again.

Could I please get a sfw/nsfw if you’re comfortable with that.

I’m in my mid 20s afab, she/her pronouns. I’m an infp a Scorpio, I sit comfortably as an ambivert and I have adhd. I’m 5’7” and am petite with a pear shape body and hearty hips.

I was raised by a kick ass single mother, my passions are music, reading, starwars, theology and mythology.

I am a dreamer who is constantly looking for magic and the impossible. I am empathetic and caring, outgoing, conscientious and compassionate.

In my teen years I was planning on studying to be a doctor like the rest of my family but decided against it when I couldn’t stomach losing patients.

I’m an administrator with a experienced background in medical administration but I have since left the medical profession instead focusing on broad administrative roles.

I my past I have experience with martial arts (ninjitsu and aikido) with focus on Bo staff as well as hand to hand combat and defence, figure skating and reiki.

My family and my friends are my life. I would do anything to protect them. I wouldn’t be who I am today without them. I cannot wait to have children of my own.

I believe that everything in life happens for a reason, both the good and the bad. Everything that we experience shapes us, teaches us and makes us who we are. I wouldn’t change even the worst things I’ve experienced because it makes me who I am. And I’m happy with the person I’ve grown (and am continuing to grow) to be.

If I were in the Star Wars universe I would adore being a powerful force user who only discovered her abilities later into her 20s (who wouldn’t 😂)

I am a romantic person at heart. Although I try to act tough and independent, I’m soft and delicate. I’ve been wronged in love too many times so I have a shield up to protect me. My love language are mainly physical touch and words of affirmation but I enjoy a even amount of all of them. My partner left me at the beginning of the year so I’m learning to be my own person again, heal my heart and start again.

I think I’ve gotten everything this time 😂 thank you so much for your time !

Of course!!

I ship you with...

Echo!

Echo loves every single thing about you, but if he absolutely had to choose, it would be your heart. He sees how much you care about the people around you and how protective you are of your loved ones. Since you started dating (and even before), you grew to be very protective of his family, too, in a way that none of them had really experienced from a non-clone before. Plus, seeing the way you and Omega bonded made his heart melt.

Echo has been through so much pain and suffering, whether that be during or after the war, and he's grown a bit jaded. However, with you, he started seeing the good in the galaxy again. He admires your outlook on life and your desire to learn from your mistakes and become a better person, and he finds it very inspiring. He also finds it fascinating when you talk about theology, especially when it has tangible applications. Echo was never religious, and it wasn't something he was exposed to when he was younger, so to hear you talk about it is something that means a lot to him. He loves having those types of conversations with you.

Learning different types of martial arts was an integral part of Echo's ARC training, so he's a very skilled martial artist- easily the best of the batch. He loves sparring with you and teaching you some of what he learned, as well as learning new techniques from you. It's a good way to keep in shape and he gets to spend more time with you- it's a win-win! Sometimes, Hunter will join in as he has some martial skills as well, but it usually ends with Echo whooping his ass solely for the purpose of showing off (respectfully, of course).

Due to his prostheses, Echo is a bit nervous about engaging in physical affection with you at first, but eventually, after lots of patience and slowly building up to it, he ends up loving it. Some afternoons, the batch will walk in and see you and him cuddling on the couch, fast asleep, not a care in the world. When you sleep at night, you typically end up spooning, but who ends up in which position tends to vary. Either way, as long as you're together, Echo feels safe and secure, both physically and emotionally; you are his safe place.

-

Thanks for reading! If you want a ship request like this, drop it in my ask box, and don't forget to reblog <3

[jellyfishvibes]

hi jelly! what's your favourite headcanon about flora?

Oh god i have so many, you will be getting a Flora rant

Ok so love me a classic super nerd Flora, absolute grease monkey that girl, would casually rip off the back of the slate and fix something in there without pausing her sentence, I'd also pin her down as a sewing nerd, not just cause she was the one who made all the champions clothes but cause i think she has like a 3d puzzle brain, and both mechanical problems and clothing construction slot right into that perfectly (i have ideas about all the zelda's being some flavor of fiber art girlys but that's an aside thing)

I also!! love dragon traits!! on Flora!!! which is why i've be hesitating with her redesign cause my brain is struggling to figure out the engineer-draconic design marrying without it getting way too busy

Shes totally got autism, her and Wild got that opposite autism disease, he's strong silent very non verbal and shes a massive chatterbox that cant help herself but explain everything, he's super hands on with everything, can't help himself but touch to figure out what stuff is and shes super squiked out by texture and wears her gloves so she doesn't feel any bad sensations, i imagine she whacked off her hair cause she couldn't stand the feeling of it long but like put up with it because of her father/for the princess image? (also maybe inspired Riju to cut her own hair shorter, i love Riju and Flora being besties) Wild loved braiding her hair as a fidget thing and grew his own out cause he liked hers so much, I think she began to understand why he liked that so much when she cut her own and used her hairstyling knowledge on him, it's way more fun to do it to someone else then to wear those styles all day you know?

If she keeps some form of scales after totk i think she picks at them as a nervous habit (and probably gets multiple slaps on the wrist from Wild to not pull them for research Zelda please-) i also really like the idea of her like, back spike guys? being like fingernails, it that she still has the crystalline spikes back there and so she can still lie down on her back Wild helps her chip them down to like flat crystal discs on her back, they still probably grow and they need to be cut off regularly but she probably has a tonne of the crystal lying around and makes stuff out of it, also the antler horns! (this is not from my love of scott empires rivendell shut up) she keeps the antlers! and they have actual deer antler stuff! like they will just randomly fall off! and they will be super velvety when they regrow! the image of the soft velvet falling away to reveal like glowing holy crystal underneath is a sick af image and also its horrifically gorey looking cause the velvet has alot of blood vessels in it, i dont think its painful? it just looks like a horror movie lmao

I have some stupid ideas around both Wild and Flora having adhd, in the sense that Wild had the inattentive type and Flora the hyperactive type before everything, Wild being a knight spaces out very easily, is terrible with organizing his personal quarters, boredom is a mind killer and find focus on instructions and tasks near impossible, Flora as the princess with the weight of the world on her shoulders struggles with fidgeting and standing still, being impatient and acting out of turn, by 17 she had social rules all but beaten into her and is kind of living in a personally design hell, but after Wild comes out of the Shrine of Resurrection and after Flora wakes up from the 100 years of sealing Ganon and the millennia being a Dragon, they both now have the combined type lmao, being trapped for so long outside of time has made focus for Flora hard and fucked with her attention span, she also now spaces out alot, i think it would also have the exact opposite effect, and she would seek out excitement and desperately avoid boredom and quiet

I also think shes got echolalia! her stims are mainly vocal and she will absently repeat fun phrases she hears, Purah is a terrible person for her to hang out with because of it, she has called Wild 'Linky' without realising multiple times and he doesn't have the heart to tell her About Purah, her and Flora get on like a house on fire and its terrible for everyone around them

I personally love some exploration of botw/totk and the power/wisdom/courage goops, i'd think flora would put alot of research into the blue shiekah energy and canonically she was looking into the malice/gloom, i'd love her looking into the green Zonai energy and the purification chamber that mummydorf was being used as a battery in and the conversion between the 3 goops (i need to stop or i will start ranting about gods and divinity speculation again) all this to bring up the fun images in my head of her using the glowy blue water in like attacks and animations an stuff like Wilds ascend, if you've seen the kda more music video the little glowy finger trails would be cool for her or even like full steam punk mechanical stuff with tubes full of the stuff, considering that the blue stuff stores information and how she uses her own tears as a dragon to store her memories a collaboration with the Zora and Sidon specifically who can control water to make a more robust storage system that cant be destroyed in a calamity style cataclysm would be cool, like Monomon's archives in Hollow Knight if you know of that, you could even crystalize it to be like the Zora history tables?

I really like the idea of Zelda needing like reading glasses? maybe some lingering weirdness from the dragon eyes or she just reads too much, she has a pair of glasses she doesn't wear very often for reading and for looking at small machinery components, maybe some form of prescription goggles made by Purah? I think she probably has needed them for a long time but only actually started using them recently, i think shes a thin wire frame with smaller rectangular ish lenses kinda gal, very perched low on her nose while sitting reading in bed

I'm going to force myself to stop here cause if i don't this will forever sit in my drafts as i think of new things to add to it

[authoralexharvey]

INTERVIEW WITH A WRITEBLR — @jezifster

Who You Are:

Astro || He/him

I'm Astro, I'm a trans guy, I'm 24 and native American, I have ADHD and it's a dragon I'm either riding or fighting.

What You Write:

What genres do you write in? What age ranges do you write for?

Action, comedy, fantasy, paranormal, and romance. New adult.

What genre would you write in for the rest of your life, if you could? What about that genre appeals to you?

Romance probably. It's the constant in all my WIPs. I'm corny and I enjoy it, I love to see a couple (or a few) people trying to die for each other. That first kiss is one of my favorite scenes to write. I just love seeing what people in love will do for each other and to each other. It's cute, it's devastating, it's hot.

What genre/s will you not write unless you HAVE to? What about that genre turns you off?

High fantasy. I'm not into worldbuilding, so most of my stories are set in the real world with fantasy elements. I also don't think I could write royalty stories. I think they're neat, but I just much prefer the perspective of the grungy street rat.

Who is your target audience? Do you think anyone outside of that would get anything out of your works?

People who like violence and sex and drugs and anti-authoritarian themes. I think some people do read for my characters, without necessarily loving all the darker topics, and there's always a message that I think would resonate with everyone in my writing. Mainly that those in power don't give a f*ck about those under them and you should tear them down.

What kind of themes do you tend to focus on? What kinds of tropes? What about them appeals to you?

Anti-authoritarian is definitely a big one. Kill God, fight the government, question the system around you. Are monsters actually the monsters and don't heroes just uphold the status quo? I think I channel a lot of my feelings about the real world into my WIPs. I love a lot of tropes, especially the romance ones. Enemies to friends/lovers is so fun. Corruption arcs. ADHD x Autistic pairings is something that's so special to me.

What themes or tropes can you not stand? What about them turn you off?

The main one is the main character being too good of a person. I don't think it's bad, but I love when they get dark. Like yeah pull the trigger, the villain deserves it. Don't be upfront about your feelings and let them rot instead until you do something you regret. I think it's just way more interesting to read.

What are you currently working on? How long have you been working on it?

Bones and Bullet is my focus right now. I've been writing it off and on since I was 13 so I'm on year 11. I really like how it's turning out this time and I know more about the politics and espionage so plotting is a lot easier.

Why do you write? What keeps you writing?

I'm mad at the world and that's part of it. But mainly it's just a lot of fun. I have a blast watching my characters do wild stuff in my head, and I love entertaining others but I've always been the best at doing that through writing.

How long have you been writing? What do you think first drew you to it?

Since I was 8 or 9? I loved reading and I read The Lottery and felt so gut-punched by it I was like… I gotta do that to someone.

Where do you get your inspiration from? Is that how you got your inspiration for your current project? If not, where did the inspiration come from?

The state of the world is a big one. I don't think there's a god but if there is, then why are they letting things happen the way they are? I can make that character and actually ask. For my current project, I really liked action movies as a kid. Especially the really wild ones like the Mission Impossible series. Ghost Protocol where Tom Cruise is suction cupping outside the Burj Khalifa? That changed me. And then later I understood more about politics and the themes of songs like Born in The USA and I was like oh we're not the good guys, so my Agents aren't technically agents anymore, but exploited and discarded ex-agents who are permanently changed by what they went through.

What work of yours are you most proud of? Why?

Bones and Bullet for sure. I think the plot really works and I've always struggled with that, but I'm so excited for the climax of the first book. Plus Shadow and Veronica are characters that I really know very well and I think it shows.

Have you published anything? Do you want to?

No, I just post online. I don't want to do traditional publishing and I'd probably just make my finished project available online and printed independently if people wanted a hard copy.

What part of the publishing process most appeals to you? What part least appeals to you?

None of it appeals to me. Editors scare me, I struggle with constructive criticism, I do not think I could handle a negative review. So that's why I'd make my stuff available for free. Why would someone complain about something free? I would judge them for it instead of taking it personally.

What part of the writing process most appeals to you? What part is least appealing?

I love learning more about my characters. They really become so well fleshed out that they seem like their own people making their own decisions. I just manage the outside influences. The least appealing is the tedious. Keeping track of dates, or names of minor characters, worldbuilding a fantasy transportation system. I just much prefer the people part of it.

Do you have a writing process? Do you have an ideal setup? Do you write in pure chaos? Talk about your process a bit.

Oh it's pure chaos. I plan a lot of scenes while I'm driving in the car listening to music. I write random scenes on my phone, chapters on my laptop. I write when I'm overcome with the urge to, and I don't force it if I'm not. I usually write laying on the couch with my laptop or phone.

Your Thoughts on Writeblr:

How long have you been a writeblr? What inspired you to join the community?

I can't remember exactly but it's been over a year. I initially joined Wattpad but I didn't like some things I'd heard about it. And someone on there recommended tumblr. I've always liked tumblr but never was a part of the creative side.

Shout out some of your favorite writeblrs. How did you find them and what made you want to follow them?

I always follow people who have cool projects, and sometimes they follow me back and we start talking. It's a blast. I have a lot of favorites and I know I'm going to miss someone but @calicojackofficial, @vacantgodling, @multi-lefaiye, @addisons-damn-dialogue, @written-in-gold, @mrnauseam, and @kingkendrick7 are all super cool creators who are a lot of fun to talk to.

What is your favorite part about writeblr?

That you can do whatever you want here pretty much. It's not Twitter or tiktok and that's a good thing. It feels real.

What do you think writeblr could improve on? How do you think we can go about doing so?

I think there should be a way to engage more with readers. It's always nice to get feedback from other writers, but I know there are people who aren't writers but are mainly readers who would like to follow writblr projects who have no idea that's an option.

How do you contribute to the writeblr community? Do you think you could be doing more?

I try to read and reblog when I can. I like to participate in ask games. My dms and asks are always open for rambling at me about projects in. I would like to do more but my mental focus has been struggling lately due to life stuff so once I get that sorted out I'll be more reliable.

What kinds of posts do you most like to interact with?

Character posts are a lot of fun. I love seeing art and moodboards too. Ask games are a blast. Excerpts, of course.

What kind of posts do you most like to make?

I like to share the weirder lines I write as short excerpts. I also enjoy making ask games and full chapters.

Finally, anywhere else online we may be able to find you?

Discord in my pinned. I have an instagram and Twitter but I don't use them really.

Questions For Fun:

1. Got a favorite pairing, either in your work or in someone else's? What about it makes it your favorite?

What is the weirdest line you've wrote? What inspired it?

Some that come to the top of my head are Gwaine and Asher by @calicojackofficial , Hector and Ari by @written-in-gold and @addisonsdamndialogue, and Hya and Amon by @vacantgodling . All very fun couples with fantastic dynamics. It's hard to choose between my own pairings, but Shadow and Veronica have such a special place in my heart. They've known each other since childhood, fight a lot, know way too much about each other, act like they're divorced, but ultimately are incredibly loyal to each other. I have such a hard time deciding if I ship them more as friends or romantically.

"Oh, the sexy but fragile human body, boo hoo, you're hot, walk it off, have a potato, since you're so fond of them."

If your writing was a plant, what plant would it be and why?

It's a scene with Gabe and Satan from Rarely Reverie. Gabe is mad because Satan accidentally shot him. Satan is both flirting with him and annoyed that he's being blamed for it. They're just a lot of fun to write together because they're at odds a lot but have excellent chemistry.

Well I write a lot of stoner characters so I've got to say weed. Cannibis Sativa since there's a lot of action scenes.

[existentialsophism]

Ok so I’m gonna post this here bc my mom is giving me the silent treatment and it might hit (maybe idk it’s very long)

Neurodivergent Ramblings

I had so much shit as a kid like being told I was off topic and absent minded and wandering around the classroom and yet somehow nobody had me evaluated for anything???? You have a master’s in child development and you never saw this coming??? You fucking moron!!! I lost friends and my grades failed because of that. I had to figure out why I was so weird on my own while I was being constantly bullied and manipulated for being different. I learned to hate myself before I even learned how to socialize. I wasn’t physically abused but the mental strain of masking and trying to pay attention in classes was so draining I almost killed myself several times once I got to college. It’s made me wonder if life is even worth living. And now I find something that works and I’m not even guaranteed that I’ll be able to continue because I’m not a cishet upper middle class white boy who will perfectly slot into the diagnostic criteria. That and all my shit overlaps and is impossible to separate. And now that I know shit is wrong with me I can’t even fucking access the shit that makes it better. Oh you mean I need someone to professionally tell me I can’t focus in class?? I FUCKING KNEW THAT HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM YOU ASSHOLES?????? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU THAT YOU HAVE THESE RESOURCES THAT I CAN’T EVEN USE BECAUSE A DOCTOR DIDN’T CERTIFY THAT I’M NOT LYING ABOUT BEING DISTRESSED BY THIS????? DO I FUCKING LOOK DISTRESSED ENOUGH TO YOU??? I’M FUCKING CRYING OVER THIS AND YOU THINK I’M LYING OR SOMETHING???? I get not distributing stimulants without a diagnosis, I get it. But if the thing helps, and you’re a doctor who can control its dispersal, why don’t you just do it anyway??? I’m not even guaranteed a diagnosis because even though I have all of the symptoms it’s apparently not good enough for a self-assessment which doesn’t take into account the fact I also have autism and those two overlap/cancel each other out, which means I’m not guaranteed to get the shit I know would allow me to function like a normal fucking person.

No wonder I’ve never been able to relax, that’s an adhd thing. Even during sex or something I can’t relax, every single action is intentional because I have 15 separate thoughts at once about whether or not I’m doing enough or what I could do to make the other girl feel good too or whatever. I hate it. I want to just turn my brain off and be puppy, but I can’t. I have the autistic inability to turn my brain off and the adhd inability to relax. And it’s exhausting. I get headaches a lot from the sheer mental effort it takes to be alive. I’ve been awake for an hour and I think I’ve done more thinking than the average person does in their whole week. How lovely it would be for my mind to be quiet. Or even just for me to be able to control it. I can’t control my own mind so I try to control everything else in my life and get distressed when I can’t. I usually try to channel it into helping my friends and the people I love but I’m bad at that so it doesn’t even work.

I never really struggled academically as a kid because class wasn’t that challenging and I was privileged enough to have had a really strong foundation. That allowed me to look like I was actually able to hang in school when really I was just good at taking tests and not much else. I constantly forgot homework and materials for class even with my mom reminding me and half packing all of my stuff for me, I’d forget about projects until the night before, I’d have trouble with little details in later math classes which resulted in me not doing as well as I could have, it’s all shit that is part of adhd that not a single person thought to tie back to it. Because apparently you can only have adhd if you’re struggling in school or some shit. The autistic ability to control my actions didn’t help either since I could just mask everything “abnormal” about myself for my own mental and physical safety, which further contributed to everyone around me thinking nothing was wrong, and now everyone thinks I’m just trying to be trendy or label totally normal neurotypical experiences. Somehow they think that my suffering is just for attention or something?? Why would I choose to be like this? I hate it! It’s a disability! Why would I choose to be disabled?? I don’t get why neurotypical people think they can bully kids for being weird and then tell them everything they’ve been bullied for their entire life is normal actually. Why am I being gaslit by the entire world?

[the-cookie-of-doom]

I'm taking Mental Health Nursing this semester, and it's going to be fun. I have been struggling to get treatment for my depression bc

1. I spent a long time not wanting to get on antidepressants 2. got on antidepressants and then felt worse 3. got on Adderall which helped some things but still didn't fix the depression (shocker) and 4. now that I'm ready to get back on antidepressants, can't, bc they react very very badly with Adderall

I really need an actual psychiatrist (y'know, the people who specifically specialize in psych drugs? and their interactions?) which is impossible to find out here, to the point my school director almost committed me to the ER last fall just so I could get seen by someone in patient. I told her thank you very much but they will not let me leave, ma'am. and I have tests on Tuesday.

A family practice NP, not my usual, tried to put me on Wellbutrin when I went for my Adderall refill. Wellbutrin does very bad things with Adderall. Like. You are specifically not supposed to combine them. Which she would have known if that was her specialty, which it isn't. Ironically I was also there asking for a psych referral to avoid this exact thing. (She kept pushing the drug on me despite repeated refusals, then wrote the prescription anyway, and now I keep getting notifications to pick it up even though I told them I didn't want it/wouldn't take it. like 3 weeks ago.)

Lucky for me, being a nursing student and having a special interest in pharmacology/medications, I knew better than to just take what was given. I'm in a place where I have the knowledge to self-advocate. I may not know what I do need, but I definitely recognize the things that will hurt me.

But now!! With Mental Health!! Which has a ton of focus on drugs!! I'm starting to make some progress. It's helping me learn what to look for/ask for and I'm v excited, bc now it feels like I'm closer to being able to get the help I need.

I found an antidepressant that was developed specifically to treat ADHD and !! It's exciting!! Bc it should also help treat the depression, too. And if it does work well enough for the ADHD I wouldn't have to keep taking the Adderall, but I'm reluctant to get off it bc it was so hard to get that prescription in the first place. I would rather be depressed but still able to study, then get on another med that doesn't help at all.

Anyway. Healthcare is fascinating and drugs are cool <3

[kissy-kisses3]

Tenya would be after me 24/7 just to make sure I'm actually taking care of myself honestly-

If at all possible, I'd love a fluff/comfort fic of Tenya taking care of someone with the daily struggles I have. Mentions of slightly poor hygiene, poor eating habits, and depression related things.

So I get really bad depressive episodes, the kind where I don't shower for long periods of time. Now when I do shower, my skin gets really peely and it's the absolute worst, but I hate the feeling of lotion on my skin, and want to avoid more water contact so it's hard to actually do anything about it- I also get sick a lot, mostly really bad nausea, shortness of breath, and muscle weakness. This makes eating, and tasks as simple as walking to the other side of my home, very difficult. Another reason I hate showers since it makes me so exhausted I get light headed and all that jazz. I also got the big ADHD, making schoolwork nearly impossible if I'm not in a school setting, cause there's too many other things I could focus on. Cleaning is an issue cause of motivation, but I'm getting better with that at least!

No pressure at all to write about this, but tysm if you do! Even if you don't, but get to this point, just wanna say I love your writing, and keep up the great work!

warnings: depression symptoms

notes: thanks for liking my writing! it means a lot <33

iida will help you with anything if you ask him to

that’s why you and him are at your house trying to finish homework

the good in him won’t let himself tell you all the answers, but he will most definitely try to make it make as much sense as possible

especially if you haven’t been to school for a while

he wanted to respect your boundaries and let you come back to school on your own, but deku said it would be better if he checked in on you to make sure you’re doing okay

while he’s at your house, he’ll tidy up your room for you and anything else that needs tidying

this all goes without asking him to

he’ll ask you where you want something to go just so you know where it is the next time you look for it

he’ll make food for you and feed it to you as soon as he gets into your room

he’ll ask you if you want to eat it there or in the kitchen, and if you want to eat in the kitchen, he’d be more than happy to help you get there

he’ll also do research and buy special soap for you that’ll help with anything that’s happening with your skin

he’ll also help you shower

he doesn’t care if he gets his whole body wet doing it

it’s his pleasure, really

that way, if you get light headed in the shower, he can get you out as quickly as possible

if you text him that you’re sick, he’ll come over and help you until you’re well again

it doesn’t matter how long it takes

he just loves you too much to see you like that and will do anything in his power to make you feel better

[theravenflies]

Pinned

Storm was right in what she said to Rogue about the cure and I will fight people on this.

My name is Raven, he/him, I'm 20, and this is my disability blog. I am a multiple disabled person who has a bad job, has not yet learned how to drive, certainly can't live on my own, and I write and reblog posts. Please do not mock the spelling, language, grammar, punctuation, or whatever else of me or anyone I reblog here. This blog will focus mostly on autism and autistic voices, but I'll post about a whole spectrum. Mainly the ones listed below

I have autism, light-moderate support needs, medium moderate support needs when accounting for everything else. Hyperempathy, hypersensitivity to my senses, emotion regulation issues, find it near impossible to understand people when they aren't being up-front about what they mean, need reminders for actions of daily living (including eating) but can do them on my own when reminded. Should not be managing my own money. I am fully verbal, but with a lot of speech disability. I get overwhelmed extremely easily and when that happens, I completely freak out. I also have some kinds of cognitive and developmental disabilities but am not intellectually disabled.

I have a lisp, a permanent slur, trouble pronouncing crunchy consonants or words that start with a vowel (can do it, just takes my mouth a second to work,) and I talk very slowly. There's probably more and I just don't know it. Apparently my speech is so bad that the speech therapist in kindergarten said that there was so much wrong with my speech that it couldn't possibly be fixed. Also often tend to speak without thinking, which I can't really help.

I have severe ADHD, mostly inattentive, dyslexia, dysgraphia, articulatory initiation anomia, dyspraxia, TBI from when I was a baby, migraines (all kinds, including ACM,) sensory processing disorder, chronic daily headache, myofascial pain syndrome, chronic fatigue, anxiety, depression, PTSD, OCD, and some other stuff.

Recovering from kleptomania and compulsive lying.

Warning

- I lost a friend to ABA. He's dead because of ABA. There is no ABA positivity here. I will be hating on it.

- I talk about ableism a lot. All posts will be tagged as ableism

- I am transgender

I DO answer both educational and writing questions.