#{ for real that sequel was TRASH }

[mazziemay]

𝑬𝒎𝒑𝒚𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒏'𝒔 𝑬𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒕

[aureutr]

So when you're writing, sometimes you get a really good scene in your head. Could be anything, full of action or sad or triumphant. You just know it's awesome.

But for it to really work, you need to do a lot of writing before and after it. Your audience has to be engaged and emotionally connected enough to care about how amazing your scene is. And you have to make the stakes matter, so any earth-shattering you do can't be easily undone later. Otherwise what once felt meaningful will feel cheap.

And sometimes, that just seems like too much. So you just write the scene. Maybe a string of scenes, all of which would be amazing if only they had context and emotional weight.

In general this is fine, because it's a first draft. Or you're goofing around and don't intend to make the finished work.

But sometimes you end up with The Mandalorian Season Three

[pantherophiss]

Alien: Covenant was so bad I spent the whole movie contemplating looking up Ridley Scott's address so I could hunt him down for his crimes against cinema

[pinkanonwrites]

Repaying The Favor

G1 Rumble/ Mechanic Reader - 4600+ words NSFW, Valveplug, Miscommunication, First Time, Oral Sex, AFAB Reader - They/Them Pronouns for reader

The sequel to "Oh! That's What That Does?!" is finally here! Same reader, same Rumble, same trying to figure each other out, only this time they get to slam down crazy-style about it. When will Frenzy get his turn in the spotlight? Eventually, I think! Maybe once I've finished a few other pet projects.

NSFW WRITING BELOW THE CUT!

It had been exactly fifteen days since you had last heard from Rumble. 

Not that you’d been counting.

Sure, the cassettes probably had more important things to do than lounge around your workshop waiting for your attention, but that's exactly why it was so odd. They always had better things to do, things that they were pointedly avoiding doing by barging in on your work and taking up what little free space the shop had remaining. But since your little tryst with Rumble, you hadn't seen armor nor optic of any of the usual cassette bot suspects.

Maybe you'd broken some sort of ancient, space robot taboo that you'd never heard of. Or maybe Rumble was just embarrassed that he jizzed all over your jumpsuit. Either way, it wasn't like you had any way of getting ahold of them besides them dropping in, so there wasn't much to be done about the situation but wait.

You were leaving the corner store when you heard it, the cacophonous boom of a jet flying far too close to the tips of the skyscrapers overhead. The sound sent you reeling, bags crumpling to the sidewalk as you hurried to cover your ears. Down the street you could make out the screech of metal smacking against metal, see the flailing limbs of two massive robots staggering clumsily through the street as they traded blows with each other. Neither of them were one you recognized, the red Autobot with the oversized chest window wrestling one of the identical jet Decepticons into a clumsy headlock. As they stumbled about one of them trampled on a car parked along the curb, and you winced as the metal shrieked and crumpled under his massive foot.

Yeah, time to get out of here. You gathered up your bags and ducked into the alley between the buildings, slipping past trash bags and old graffiti, trying not to tread in any unidentifiable puddles. Off in the distance you could hear an emergency siren start to wail, hopefully signaling that whatever the space robots were quarreling over this time would be settled sooner rather than later. All you really wanted was to get back home without any further interruptions.

But as you emerged from the back alley entrance and found yourself hoisted into the air by two massive metal hands around your waist, you'd decided to kiss that chance goodbye. Your bags clattered to the ground once more, bread and fruit and canned goods spilling out around a familiar pair of pedes. When you glanced up to his faceplate, the glow of his visor was nearly enough to blind you.

“Rumble?!”

His visor dimmed enough that you could see his intake, which had just before been pulled into a maniacal grin, drop open in visible shock. Then, as quick as it came, it was gone, replaced instead with a tight, furrowed frown. 

“What’re you doin’ out here?” He barked.

“Buying food. Or trying to, at least.” You glanced over his shoulder just in time to see Ravage pounce on that yellow Autobot with the horns that was always showing up in the news. “You guys having a little play date or something?”

He scoffed out a laugh, quickly stifling it with a clearing of his vents. “Whatsit matter to ya? Didn't think you cared dat much about lil’ old me.”

“Rumble, what…?” Was he seriously pouting? Or maybe trying to guilt trip you? For what, making him cum? “What are you even talking about? I haven't seen you in like, two weeks.”

“Aww, real funny! You know what I mean! I let you poke around in my chassis and run up my charge, an’ after that it's radio silence? Whaddya humans call it… ghosting? Make a mech feel like second-rate shareware, why don't ya?”

You blinked at him once, twice, mind spinning as you tried to process his words.

“Are you- are you mad I didn't call you?”

His optic lights beamed as he bristled, armor flaring with a hiss before clamping tight back to his frame. “I told you to comm me!”

“Rumble, I don't have your number! I couldn't call you even if I wanted to!”

His grip went slightly slack as he stared at you, leaving you dangling from your armpits like a cat. 

“I… I hailed you my frequency. In da EM field.”

“Humans don't have… whatever that is. Do you have a phone number?”

He stared at you again, much longer this time as the discordant crashing of giant metal men continued in the background. Then, with a sudden jolt, you were slipping free of his fingers as he dropped you unceremoniously to the pavement. It wasn't a far fall, just enough to make your feet tingle upon landing. When you looked up you saw he had both servos covering his faceplate, a string of muffled curses eking out between the digits.

Your mind was reeling. He actually wanted you to call him? To… repay the favor? Heat pooled in the pit if your stomach as your mind conjured up wicked memories of his stifled gasps and whimpers, how he’d squirmed beneath you as you prodded around his spark chamber. How behind all the billowing and smashing and Brooklyn-accented bravado, when you got down to the core of him, he was actually kind of… cute.

“You- just- I don’t- Get outta here! Go on, scram! Before you get stomped on or somethin’!” His face plate was flushed and glowing as he shooed at you. You would go, that was certain, you really didn't want to get stepped on after all. But first you were going to say something potentially risky, deeply embarrassing, and undoubtedly very, very stupid.

“Come over.”

His optics shuttered, flickering for a moment as he stared down at you, frozen.

“What?”

“Not right now. Tonight. When you guys are done getting wailed on? Come over.”

He opened his intake, then closed it. When he opened it a second time you caught a wisp of steam slipping through the gap in his dentae. He swallowed, hard. He never stopped staring at you.

“...Y-Yeah. Yeah. Awright. I'll be there.”

“Cool. Watch out for the yellow guy.”

“Huh-HGGRRK!?!” You stumbled back a few steps just in time for the Autobot to chuck Ravage directly into Rumble’s helm, sending him crashing into the brick wall beside you.

“Sorry! Are you alright?” The little Autobot called. “You should probably get out of here!”

He didn't have to tell you twice.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The news was just wrapping up their coverage on the ‘latest Decepticon assault’ when you heard a rap on your warehouse’s roll-up door. There wasn't much to see peering out the window, the street only haphazardly illuminated by old street lights. Not that you really needed to look, there was only one guest you were expecting at this time of night anyway. 

You'd stopped at home first, mainly to take a shower and put on something that wasn’t a pair of mechanic’s overalls. But for some reason the nerves hadn't hit you until right now. You clamped down on the prickle of… anxiety? Excitement? Somewhere between the two? As you pulled the strap at the base of the roll-up, the groan of shifting metal slowly gave way to reveal…

“Are you wearing a bowtie?”

“Not bad, eh? Don't say I never cleaned up or nothin’. Here.” As Rumble stepped from the dark street into the light of the warehouse he pulled something from his subspace: a large, green bottle that he offered to you pinched between two fingers. A bottle of wine. Judging by the label, an expensive bottle of wine.

“Where did you get this?” You turned the bottle over twice in your grip, scanning the details on the back. French Merlot, aged… fifteen years? Holy shit.

“Dat fancy Italian place on the corner of Fourth and Vine! What, ya don't like it?”

“I didn't say that!” Rumble positively beamed as you clutched the bottle. “I just didn't expect it, is all. Are you… wining and dining me right now?”

“Is dat a good thing or a bad thing? Your human movies said you’re ‘sposed to bring a little somethin’ somethin’ before, y’know,” There was a sly, lopsided charm to his grin as he pulled the roll-up back down with his pede, clanking shut behind him, “Before you let me run your charge for a change.”

“You know, you don't have to try so hard to im…press… me.” You trailed off, staring down at the bottle in your hands, then back up to him, then back at the bottle, then him again. When you made eye contact with him the slyness seemed to falter a bit, leaving behind something softer in his smile. Something a little more vulnerable.

 How did it take this long for it to click for you? He was wearing a bowtie, for Christ’s sake. 

“Oh my God you're trying to impress me.”

“Eh?” A fidgeting servo tugged at his bowtie- which appeared to be made of… an old seatbelt? “Nah, you're crazy! Dis is jus’ what humans are ‘sposed to do!”

“Oh my God you are!”

“H-Hey, what'd I say about you and gettin’ big ideas?” He tried to deter you, but your mind was already racing a mile a minute. 

“Do you actually like me? Like, want to date me? Do alien robots even date, cause I didn't know th- MMPH!”

With a massive metal palm pressed to your chest, Rumble pushed you back into your adjustable work table, still sitting at a mostly upright angle from the last time you'd repaired him. The table against your back was cold, a sharp contrast to the radiating heat from his servo as he pinned you in place with his hand. His face was inches from yours as he leaned over you, visor now gleaming with frustration and embarrassment.

“You can't get enough of dis, huh? Like pushin’ my buttons so much?” His servo pinned you down just a touch harder, forcing the air from your lungs in a breathy wheeze. “‘Oh, it's so fun to get Rumble all flustered! Lemme mess wit’ his head a lil more!’ Well maybe it’s Ol’ Rumble’s turn to do da messin’ around, huh? See how you like it when someone’s toyin’ with your sensitive bits.”

He bared his dentae as he spoke, another hiss of steam curling around your cheeks. It made your hair stand on end. A hot thrill ran through you, and you fought the urge to let your knees knock together, confident that Rumble would be able to keep you in place with brute strength alone. You could feel his thumb smoothing back and forth across your shirt, and as he glanced down at his servo the glare of his visor lessened slightly.

“...Why’s your fuel pump goin’ all crazy? You scared or somethin’?”

You swallowed a mouthful of saliva, willing your foggy mind to function. “Not… Not scared, exactly.”

There were a few seconds of tense silence, before the wickedest, prideful grin crept back up across his faceplate. 

“Oh? Is dat so?” His other servo rose to grip the top edge of the table, fingers molding to fit the dent he’d left there previously as he loomed over you. “Well maybe we oughta do somethin’ about tha- SCRAP!”

His flirtations were cut short by the sharp SNAP of the stabilizing lock on your workbench failing under Rumble’s weight and flipping 180 degrees over. The world pitched and spun as you tumbled backwards, yelping as the table flipped and deposited you upside-down on the floor, legs sticking akimbo in the air. From between your dangling feet you could see Rumble peering over you with his sly expression wiped off his visor by one of concern.

“Slag! I didn't crush your little pedes when you flipped, did I? Cause I don't no nothin’ about fixin’ up injured squishies.”

Miraculously, you had managed to make it through that ass-over-elbow fall without hitting your head on anything, or Rumble accidentally pinning your legs in place between his bulk and the table frame. “I’m alright! Just didn't expect it, I’m okay.”

“Dat’s good. Here lemme jus’-” You felt a servo close around each of your ankles. With an effortless tug Rumble dragged you back up, tabletop tipping with you as it clunked back into its standard, flat position. Of course, this now left you with your ass and legs dangling off the edge of the workbench, Rumble standing between them with a servo resting on each knee. “Better?”

You sucked in a breath, trying desperately not to look overeager. “Better.”

“Ah, slaggit all…” But instead of putting his servos back on you (where you most certainly wanted them) Rumble began to scratch at the back of his neck, failing to meet your gaze. “Guess I ain't really cut out for all this… whaddaya call it? ‘Winin’ and dinin’?’ Can't even get my servos on ya without fraggin’ it up.”

“Hey, I’m definitely not complaining.” You attempted a jokey tone, but it didn't seem to do much to dampen Rumble’s current self-deprecation. You let the playful edge fall away as you dropped into something a bit softer. “I mean it though. You don't have to try to impress me. I mean it's appreciated! But, y’know, I wouldn't have agreed to this if I wasn't already happy with the bot I was getting into it with.”

“Heh. Even if I end up crushin’ you a bit?”

“That's a risk I'm willing to take.”

He barked out another laugh, accompanied by a coil of thin steam hissing through his gap-dentae. “Well I guess I better make it worth da risk, shouldn't I?”

He snuck a servo under each of your knees, pushing them apart as he rocked his modesty panel against your clothed core. You stifled a gasp, the ridge of sturdy metal almost hot against you, even through layers of cotton and denim. The slow roll of his hips made your own stutter up off of the table, desperate for further friction.

“Cute. You like grindin’ on my panel? Should I make you bust jus’ like this?”

Despite the warm curl of arousal pooling in your stomach from the feeling, you knew this wouldn't be enough to get you off. Rumble seemed to know it too, letting out a low, pleased chuckle at your desperate expression.

“Jus’ yankin’ yer crankcase, sweetspark. I got somethin’ a lot more fun in mind for tonight anyway. Dat is, if you'll start gettin’ dese off.” He hooked a digit through your belt loop and gave them an experimental tug.

“Mmh, what, you don’t want to take them off yourself?” 

“Oh, I’ll gladly take ‘em off ya. Just figured you’d take care of dis part here…” His thick digits slid inward, ghosting over the button of your jeans. “So I don't gotta rip ‘em off ya instead.”

You weighed your options. On one hand, the image of Rumble tearing denim apart with his bare servos as if it was no more than wet tissue paper was far more appealing to you than you would have originally expected. On the other hand… well, they were new jeans.

“I got it.” You mumbled, quietly filing the image away in your brain for later use as you undid your button and zipper. “Careful with th- Oh!”

With a sharp yank, Rumble tugged your jeans and underwear off your legs and let them crumple onto the floor. Shoving himself into the space between your knees, you could only barely make out the top of his helm over the slope of your stomach as he knelt before you, spreading your folds with two digits and… staring.

You waited for a response, a quip, the slow drag of metal over your slick hole, but were instead greeted with silence. Something prickled in the pit of your stomach as you fought the urge to squirm. In the back of your mind you vaguely remembered that you hadn't really gotten to see what Rumble was packing, and only now were you grappling with the truth that you were trying to have sex with a truly alien being. Would your bodies even be compatible? Was he weirded out right now? You tried to pull your knees together, only to be stopped by a rough servo shoving them back open.

“...It's rude to stare.” You muttered.

“EY! I ain't starin’! I'm, uh, admirin’. Dat’s it.” There was a similar tightness to Rumble’s voice. You shuddered as a thumb stroked the crease of your thigh. “Soft… An’ it's supposed to be dat pink?”

“Y-Yeah… that's, mmh, normal.” You shuddered at a wave of steam curling over your sensitive heat as he spread you again, visor locked on your twitching entrance.

“Primus. And you're really gonna let me spike ya in this tiny little hole?” You could feel his thumb just brushing the rim and stifled a groan at the sudden, aching emptiness, the demand to be filled. “I don't wanna tear you in half or nothin’.”

“It’ll fit.” You whined, core tensing around nothing. “We’re, unh, we’re pretty flexible. C’mon, Rumble…” You forced your knees further apart, pushing your hips up into each of Rumble's far-too-light touches. His motor snarled in response, a massive hand gripping the inside of each of your thighs.

“Slag. You're really achin’ for it, aren’tcha?” His voice was lower than you'd ever heard it before, deep and resonant and primal. “But I ain't gonna give it to ya dat easy, doll. Gotta make sure you can take it first.” 

He raised his helm for just a moment, just enough for you to get a peek of his beaming visor and his wicked, gap-toothed grin between your legs. Then he descended, lathing his thick, hot glossa up the length of your cunt. You choked on a gasp, his servos the only thing keeping your hips from rabbiting up off the table. It was hot, his glossa thick and sturdy and drooling with oral lubricant, a thin layer of silicon over sturdier metal mesh dragging up through your folds.

“Easy, sweetspark…” You weren't the only one enjoying themselves. Rumble's low, rattling groan pulsed through your cunt. You swore you could just barely make out him groaning your name but it was lost, muffled as he pressed his faceplate further between your legs and his servos shivered where they gripped your thighs. He was messy and all too eager, arousal and oral lubricant spilling down his chin as his glossa stroked you; slow, deliberate drags up your folds until you were left dripping. At the apex he found your clit and took it between his dermas, a teasing hum rattling throughout his engine that had you gasping, thighs clenching around his thick helm. Your legs jerked as warmth bloomed outward from your core, hips writhing against the onslaught of pleasure. Dragging across his back your heel caught in a rounded divot, pulling a raggedy vent through Rumble’s dentae as his frame twitched.

“”Mmpfh!~ E-Ey, watch da spindle. It’s sensitive in dere…” He groaned, face still pressed into your cunt, servos only dragging your ass further off the table in his efforts to get somehow even closer to you. But instead you dug your heel in harder, pressing into the ridged divot and twisting your leg. The internal ring jerked with a sudden CLICK CLICK CLICK, each pop of noise making Rumble’s frame spasm like he'd just been electrocuted. “FRAG! Primus, that’s- ghh!~”

“Feel good?” You teased, breathless. His optics beamed back up at you, an oscillating, glistening red as you caught another peek of his gap-toothed grin from between your legs.

“So dat’s how you wanna play dis? Don't say I didn't warn ya, doll.” 

You barely had a chance to respond before the noise was punched out of your lungs in a sharp whine as Rumble shoved a thick, metal digit into your drooling cunt. Achingly hard, unrelenting, he flexed it against your rippling walls as his dermas nestled themselves snugly around your clit. The hum reverberating through his frame coursed through your body like a wave, hands scrabbling desperately at his helm as the twinge of pain at the sudden intrusion melted into thick, syrupy pleasure. 

“A-ah, fuck! Rumble, Rumble that's good, that's fucking good.~” Metal clanged as you lolled your head back against the table top, no longer able to keep it upright. Each drag of his digit, textured and ridged and unrelenting, sparked euphoria behind your eyelids. You felt every muscle in your body starting to prickle with pleasure, radiating outwards from your cunt and pooling in your head, your stomach, the tips of your toes…

You all but whined when he drew his digit away, dermas releasing your swollen clit with a slick pop. “C’mon! Rumble!”

“You want it dat bad, huh?” A shadow cast over your rumpled form as Rumble rose to his full height. From between your legs you could catch a glimpse of silver and blue panels fluttering and folding away, one of Rumble’s servos hiking the underside of your knee and the other stroking the gap between his thigh and pelvic armor as his spike rose to full attention. Christ, he was huge, the thick metal rod draped across your lower stomach as he rocked experimentally against you. Each thrust had the tip drooling a translucent, pinkish fluid you remembered scrubbing from the back of your jumpsuit, hot and vaguely smelling of well-oiled machinery and pooling across your bare stomach.

Rumble, for his part, seemed to be as entranced as you felt, visor vibrant and flickering as he stared down at the place his frame rubbed against your soft, supple body. A harsh ex-vent punctuated each roll of his hips, steam coiling around the corners of his slack, open intake as he pulled back, letting the tip of his spike slide wetly through your folds.

“Dat’s it, doll… You're gonna get exactly what you want. Gonna get you bouncin’ on dis spike, jus’ beggin’ for it…” His tone was low, entranced, just barely tinged with desperation. He dragged his tip through your folds again, and again, covering your cunt with his thick transfluid, making your breath hitch whenever he slid over your clit just right. You angled your hips up, guiding it right over your entrance, toes curling at the promise of pressure. 

But before you could utter his name again, or any other placation or demand, you felt the heavy press, the slow, aching slide as he entered you. It teetered just on the edge of pain, muscles twinging at your inner thighs as you forced your legs wider to accommodate his bulky armor. And his spike offered just as little give, covered with a thin layer of silicon like his glossa but still distinctly sturdy, inflexible metal. Your walls rippled helplessly around the intrusion, stretched to a delicious degree as he bullied his way inside you.

About halfway to being fully sheathed in your heat he paused, visor hazy and unfocused, intake still hanging open as he vented steam. A servo was resting on each of your hips, but while one stayed in place the other slid up, up, bunching your shirt around his digits and shoving it up above your chest. There his servo paused on your side, his massive thumb stroking back and forth over your nipple, quickly pebbling under the cool metal.

“Primus.” He breathed, distinctly softer than you ever remember hearing him before (and oh, if that didn't do just as much for your arousal as everything else). Finally, his hips began to move again, that intoxicating ache only beginning to border on near-unbearable when you could feel your ass and the backs of your thighs smushed against his pelvic armor. For another moment he paused, one servo cradling your hip and the other your chest.

Then he drew back, and thrust home.

The first thrust forced the air out of you in a desperate, sharp wheeze. This didn’t slow him, not in the slightest, digits sinking into the plush meat of your hip as he jackhammered into you. Each thrust had the entire table rattling, the sharp clang of metal against metal where his thighs hit the dented table’s edge. His quiet reverence had given way to an onslaught of erotic babble, visor locked on your face as it twisted and furrowed in pleasure.

“Takin’ it so fraggin well… You’re just made for takin’ my spike, aren’tcha?” He scooped his servo under your hip and lifted you further up, all but folding you in half as he loomed over you. His dermas brushed the curve of your jaw, just below your ear, and you could feel the heat of his ex-vent making your skin tingle. “You’ve jus’ been waitin’ for me to frag you stupid, plug up that achin’ valve til you can’t think of nothin’ else.”

“Mmmh…~ It’s so big.” You slurred, thighs slick with sweat and slipping on his plating as you struggled to lock your ankles in the small of his back. His frame shivered like an electric current ran through it, clutching you somehow even closer to his massive chassis.

“Nghh…~ Yeah? You love dis fat spike, don’tcha? Say it.”

“I love it!~”

“You want me to spill my load in this tight little valve, don’tcha?”

“Please!”

“Aghh, slag! Y-You’re gonna get it, sweetspark. You’re gonna take it all, j-just-mmfh!~” His vents were ragged and desperate, thrusts stuttering as he neared his release. You squealed as his thumb found your clit, rubbing the swollen bud in rough, tight circles. Euphoria was buzzing throughout your body, the ache of your lower back buried beneath the onslaught of pleasure and heat coiling in the pit of your stomach and blooming out through your limbs, legs shaking, hands trembling.

Sparks exploded behind your eyelids as your orgasm washed over you, hips jerking weakly against Rumble’s. There was no give to his spike at all, thick and steady and unyielding as your pussy squeezed and pulsed around it. You felt a flood of something molten spill into your core, filling you nearly to the point of aching as it spilled out around the tight ring of your hole around his base. Rumble’s frame stuttered, jittering, a harsh crackle of static and mechanical chatter pouring from his drooling intake where it was still buried in the crook of your neck. Finally, finally, his frame grew still. The only noise between the two of you were your shared, harsh breaths and the low churn of the occasional car driving past outside.

“Mmmmnnghh…” Rumble groaned, shifting his hips to pull his shrinking spike from your core as he rose unsteadily back to an upright position. You could feel transfluid dribbling from your hole as he tucked himself back away- thick, translucent globs spilling down the insides of your thighs and hitting the floor with a splatter. His engine gave a little, stuttering snarl despite himself as he dragged his digit tips through the shimmering line along one of your inner thighs. “I oughta take a picture of dis…”

“Don’t you dare.” You kicked weakly at his servo, legs now tingling with static as blood rushed back to them. He barked out a sharp laugh, effortlessly batting your foot aside. His servo rested atop your lower stomach and gave a teasing press, and you shivered as more globs of thick transfluid drooled from your cunt. “Jerk.”

“Eyy, you love it!”

“Unfortunately.” There was no real bite to your tone, you could tell by the way Rumble grinned. “Think you can give me a hand getting over to the bathroom before my knees give out?”

“Depends. Does dat count as you owin’ me a favor?”

[pretzel-box]

Might I humbly request more streamer au Sebastian?? I don't have a specific prompt so honestly do whatever you'd like!

SEQUEL TO THE STREAMER AU

PART 1 HERE

Tags: Doubt, Comedy, Teasing, Slightly Fluff, Streamer AU

Words: 1,6k

You glanced at the message on your screen, your eyes narrowing in playful suspicion.

“Jellybeanie_?”

Even though it was just a jumble of words on the flat screen, you could almost hear the amusement behind the way Solace wrote your username. It was a name that carried a bit of a past, a digital footprint that had followed you through your early streaming days. Your father had given you the nickname "Jellybeanie" when you were young, and it stuck, especially during your awkward teenage years when you thought beanies were the pinnacle of cool fashion. There was a bit of irony there, considering the sheer volume of cringe it represented. You had done everything to erase that phase from existence, deleting your weird selfies, throwing the beanies out and pretending you’re too cool for silly headwear—except for the username. Somehow, it had become part of your identity, both endearing and a little bit embarrassing.

"Don't judge it, Shoelaced_Seb42," you shot back with a grin, your fingers flying over the keyboard as the heat of the moment pulled you in. You could only imagine what kind of story was behind his own name. Maybe it was a wordplay with “shoelace” and “Solace,” but “Seb42”? That was anyone’s guess. There had to be a story there, too—everyone had one.

His reply came almost instantly. “Careful, doll. I don't want to reveal my edgelord side in front of a cute bean like you.”

You felt a flutter in your chest, something warm and annoyingly familiar. Damn him for knowing exactly how to get under your skin—and damn you for liking

While you had no problem flirting with Solace during your nightly gaming streams, your real-life roommate was a different story entirely. It was a cruel twist of fate, really. Your fans always talked about how well you and Solace—a famous streamer with a massive following—got along. They called you "the perfect duo," and more than a few shipped you two. They didn't know the irony of the situation. Because in reality, when you weren't "Jellybeanie_", there was no Pressured_Solace, just Sebastian.

The Sebastian who would leave his empty coffee mugs all over the apartment. The Sebastian who would blast his music at ungodly hours, regardless of how many times you'd told him you needed quiet for your recordings. The Sebastian who seemed to have made it his life mission to be the most insufferable person you'd ever met.

You had moved into this apartment months ago, both of you, lured by the promise of a prime location and cheap rent—only to discover that you couldn't go five minutes without bickering over something mundane. The Wi-Fi. The thermostat. The last of the milk.

"Seriously, Sebastian," you muttered under your breath the next morning after your midnight chat with Solace, staring at the empty carton of milk your roommate left in the fridge. "Is it too much to ask for you to throw this out? Or better yet, buy more?"

Sebastian sauntered into the kitchen, tousled black hair sticking up at odd angles, a lazy grin on his face. "Morning to you too, sunshine," he said, ignoring your frustration completely. He tossed his phone onto the counter and grabbed a can of energy drink from the pantry. "Did you see my note?"

You rolled your eyes, exasperated. "Yeah, I saw it. It was crumpled up in the trash. Nice touch."

He just smirked, leaning back against the counter as he cracked open the can. "You know, I think you secretly love our little banter," he said, taking a sip and watching you with those infuriatingly bright eyes of his. He was definitely teasing you, his tone wasn't like Solace his…Sebastian was the ungodly opposite, annoying, mean and insufferable.

"Love is a strong word," you shot back, fighting the urge to hit him with the empty milk box. He had this way of getting under your skin, making you react, and he seemed to take endless delight in it.

When night fell and the cameras turned on, it was a different story. As Jelly you felt like you were seeing a different side of life by spending time with Solace. The witty banter, the playful teasing over the text messages—it felt real. More real than the stupid arguments with your roommate over dish duty or who got to use the bathroom first in the mornings.

You’d been doing collaborative streams with Solace for months now. What had started as a random pairing in a popular online game had quickly turned into a regular thing, and your viewers loved it. There was a chemistry there—an undeniable spark that had even you questioning what was real and what was just for show.

And the more you streamed together, the more you found yourself looking forward to those late-night gaming sessions. The way he made you laugh, the way he’d check in to make sure you were okay if things got too intense in-game. There was a kindness to him—a depth that you didn’t see in the Sebastian you shared your living space with.

“So, Jelly,” his voice crackled through your headset, bringing you back to the game at hand. “What’s the plan? You gonna carry us to victory, or should I start writing my will now?”

You chuckled, glancing at the chat as messages flew by. Your viewers were eating this up. “I don’t know, Solace,” you replied, your tone playful. “Maybe I’ll let you die first and then come in for the save. Would make for great content.”

He laughed, a sound that sent a small thrill through you. “Always thinking about the content. That’s why you’re the best.”

You felt your cheeks warm at the compliment, a smile tugging at your lips. Damn him. Why did he have to be so... nice? And why did you have to like it so much?

It was nearly 3 a.m. by the time your stream ended. You stretched, feeling the fatigue settle into your bones. As you stepped out of your room, you were startled to find Sebastian in the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge.

He looked up as you entered, a frown on his face. “Late night?” he asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

You rolled your eyes, too tired to muster up a proper retort. “Like you’re one to talk,” you muttered, grabbing a water bottle from the counter.

For a moment, there was an awkward silence, the kind that seemed to fill every corner of the small apartment. Then, out of nowhere, he asked, “Do you ever… wonder what your online friends are like in real life?”

You blinked, caught off guard by the sudden change in tone. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged, looking uncharacteristically thoughtful. “I mean, it’s easy to get along with someone when you’re just a username and a voice on a screen. But in real life… things are different.”

You studied him for a moment, unsure of where this was coming from. “Yeah,” you said slowly. “I guess you’re right. People can be… different.”

He nodded, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before he turned back to the fridge. “Anyway, good night,” he said over his shoulder as he grabbed a snack and headed back to his room.

“Good night,” you replied, watching him go. You couldn’t help but wonder about the sudden shift in his demeanor. The whole conversation was just a giant question mark and you didn't understand where the sudden question came from.

A week passed, and you couldn't stop thinking about that night in the kitchen. Your streams with Solace were becoming more frequent, and with every passing game, you felt that connection deepening. It was confusing. Especially after Sebastian's words from last week, you actually don't know much about Solace. What he looks like, what his job is, if he has a partner…God he could be a 65 year old man named Josh that drives a truck and eats Hamburgers every day for lunch. He could be anyone.

And then, one fateful night, everything changed.

You were streaming a new co-op game with Solace when a message popped up in the chat from a mutual fan. “Wouldn’t it be crazy if Jelly and Seb were roommates IRL?”

You laughed it off, typing a quick response. “Yeah, imagine that chaos!”

Seb responded with a chuckle, “We’d probably drive each other insane.”

But the thought lingered. Your eyes drifted over to his username again—Pressured_Solace. You hated the feeling of having a crush on someone who was out of reach, someone who had not a face and not a real name. And it crushed you not to know if you would ever know more about him. Wondering if all the flirting and the jokes were just a facade for the streams or if he actually tries to get close to you.

Your sudden silence must have been noticeable because Solace his voice came through your headset, concerned. “Jelly? You okay?”

You swallowed hard, trying to compose yourself. “Yeah, I… I just thought of something.”

“Like what?” he asked, sounding genuinely curious.

“Nothing,” you replied quickly, too quickly. “Just… something funny. I'll tell you later.”

But as you ended the stream, you knew there was no way you were going to let this go. Not without finding out the truth behind Solace.

The stream ended, the microphone turned off and you leaned back into your chair, fumbling with the cables of your headphones.

“Solace?” Your fingers moved on the glowing keyboard, texting him on discord. The most healthy thing was confrontation instead of confusion and you collected your courage to ask him for a picture.

“What's up, Jellybeanie!~”

“Can I get a picture?” It didn't take long till he replied with a spoiler-covered picture, adding a secretive emoji that holds a finger in front of their mouth. Your heart skips a beat, anxiety and excitement rushing through your mind and you click on the image with shaky hands.

It was a fish. He trolled you.

“SOLACE!”

“ALR ALR CHILL BEANIE!1!1”

He send another picture.

And in a single moment, it hit you hard.

And you screamed.

[weepingchoir]

When high school acquaintances tell you to invest in crypto, you absolutely must disinvest. Similarly, I hope the glut of narratives about mental illness, particularly those in which mental illness is vincible, signal a downturn in the Americultural cache of trauma as fetish object. This seems unlikely, so long as yoga remains profitable, but real change starts small.

Smile was, categorically, about mental illness. Fortunately it was about how mental illness ruins you, kills you, and hurts others besides. A sizable chunk of the audience thought this constituted some sort of moral failure. Me personally, I go to the arms of my loved ones to feel healed, and horror movies, to feel scared.

Smile 2 thinks this point has not been made firmly enough, which is why it opens on a catastrophic attempt from a crazed gunman to kill just the right number of people. After this, things turn violent. If the original was a sometimes hamfisted take on suicidal depression, the sequel understands that psychosis demands a heavy hand.

The unnamed Smile Curse worms into the victim's life, masquerading as leering strangers and loved ones. It isolates and torments the victim until they kill themselves or someone else, passing the curse on to witnesses. As metaphors go, the reason behind the smiling on the first entry is obvious. When you're that depressed, you think everyone's laughing at you. The sequel's trick is that, when you're that manic, everyone is laughing at you.

The internet has made meltdowns more visible than ever, but they were never private. Public humiliation is an integral part of losing your mind. The brain anticipates this: it's voices in your head, a warped social environ driving destructive behavior.

A blindspot in the popular discourse surrounding mental health is the fact that mental illnesses, in particular those bizarre states of mind recognizable as verifiably insane, can turn you heinous. Mania makes you curse out your loved ones, and trash roomfuls of shit you don't own, cheat on your spouse and take out loans in their name. We lack the social structure to responsibly provide affected parties with emotional comfort and material safety.

What's to be done? I don't know! There is a direct correlation between effective horror and insoluble problems. To wit: the next time someone acts crazy, will we laugh at them, or just smile and nod?

[monsters-conquer-the-world]

OOZEPUNK

WHAT IS OOZEPUNK?

Oozepunk is the term I'm coining for the microgenre of urban heroic sci-fi horror-fantasy that first exploded in the mid-80s with movies, shows, and comics like Ghostbusters, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Toxic Avenger, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Hellboy, Street Sharks, and others. Lots of natural crossover with Biopunk and Cyberpunk, aesthetically and philosophically.

Your childhood trauma didn't let you forget Roger Rabbit heavily featured colorful nightmare slime, did it?

A ragtag gang of weirdos (often horribly mutated--more on that soon) band together to save a city that doesn't understand them. Grimy sewers, abandoned buildings and graffiti'd brick walls are lit up by neon lights, streams of mysterious, glowing goo and/or the unearthly lights of futuristic particle weapons--ideally all of the above!

Beyond the "cracked concrete and gutters full of liquid plutonium" aesthetic, Oozepunk prankishly asks "What if catastrophic aberrations of science, particularly DUMPING TOXIC FUCKING WASTE STRAIGHT INTO THE ENVIRONMENT created fucked-up monsters... but they're HEROIC fucked-up monsters!" These catastrophic aberrations of science grant the heroes incredible powers, but COST them their place in human society. (Ghostbusters and Roger Rabbit eschew character mutation in favor of discovering that the undead and olde tymey cartoons are real [and exploitable!], respectively. 'Busters and 'Toon sympathizers alike are treated like insane idiots and/or frauds in their respective universes.)

Oozepunk heroes are challenged not only by strange supernatural beings, but by human society itself. The Ghostbusters battle with local politicians as much as they do the undead. In the recent (and delightful) TMNT: Mutant Mayhem, Splinter warns the Turtles of humans and their obsession with "milking" mutants for their blood--on top of the villainous mutants they're trying to thwart!

Crank up the creep factor in Oozepunk and you get awesome anti-establishment goo-horror like 1988's The Blob, The Stuff, Street Trash, and probably a bunch more. Toxic Avenger is a batshit crazy splatter-comedy (i.e. classic Troma)... and still garnered sequels, a kid's cartoon and toyline!

And there's a Shredder's Revenge-style Crusaders beat-em-up coming out next year??

This looks dope as shit

Ghostbusters and TMNT are the only current, "evergreen" (or radioactive green!) Oozepunk franchises I can think of off the top of my head, but Oozepunk elements are buried in almost all of the stories and settings I love the most. Heroic kaiju like King Kong, Godzilla and Gamera paved the way for our freaky friends, but so did comics characters like Fantastic Four's Ben "The Thing" Grimm, The Hulk and Swamp Thing. Hell, I think I blame SESAME STREET of all things for starting me down the Oozepunk path.

Surprise! I've loved screaming trash monsters with secret hearts of gold since I was a fucking baby, and they've ALWAYS been there for me!

But it's not just Oscar, Sesame Street as a whole is a proto-Oozepunk utopia, years before the big Ooze-splosion of the 80s. Muppets, monsters, talking animals and chill humans all live and work together to scrape by with a little dignity in a gritty-but-wholesome urban world!

Sesame Street, a decades-long reminder that educational childrens' programming can and SHOULD be cool as hell looking and loaded with all kinds of friendly mutant freakuloids.

OOZEPUNK! Whaddya think?

[maxknightley]

Can you tell me why Harry Potter is particularly bad and egregious?

well for one thing its creator uses her cultural clout to endlessly scaremonger about Transgenderism and then whenever anyone calls her out on it she's like "what nooooo I love trans people I'm just Asking Questions. just Raising Concerns. about the rights of Real Wombyn." or she threatens them into silence using the UK's insane libel laws

everything from supplemental setting information to character names in her flagship series betray a view of the world that is - if not virulently racist - at the very least embarrassingly provincial. (the writing in her cormoran strike novels is even worse in this regard.) the less said about the house elves, a funny slave race who like being slaves actually and advocating for their rights is silly and wrongheaded, the better.

from what I recall she's also a member of the same ghoulish """""labor""""" party undercurrent that actively crushes any hope of meaningful reform within UK parliamentary politics.

but on a more personal and less political level: it's a children's fantasy series that was never really designed to have more depth than a children's fantasy series, and the constant attempts to make it an Ongoing Franchise are embarrassing at best and actively frustrating at worst. it's like if Willy Wonka got six sequels plus a spinoff about veruca salt plus a spinoff about grandpa joe plus three years of increasingly bizarre supplemental material and literally none of it reckoned with the uncomfortable colonial overtones of the oompa-loompas. at some point you would end up being sick of the whole goddamn thing, even the parts that weren't trash in and of themselves.

[mellowtrashtrash]

FNaF World: Object characters? Huh?

Sometimes you're put in a situation where you have to model two characters that are, quite frankly, just objects. And sometimes, you choose to bite the bullet and design them both back-to-back! Presenting: Phone Guy and Sanitation Station!

Phone Guy

Designing a character model for the Phone Guy is quite the challenge since he has no visual appearance; but he's an iconic Five Nights at Freddy's character, so I ought to put him in the hypothetical sequel to the game that celebrates the Five Nights at Freddy's franchise. I decided to model a little desk stand based on the one from the first FNaF game, and modeled the phone as a blue vintage landline in reference to his Ultimate Custom Night icon. Here's how it turned out:

(For clarification since it's been a while, top left is the character selection thumbnail, top right is the idle animation, bottom left is the attack animation, bottom right is the "hurt" animation, for when the character is subject to an enemy's attack. This is the process I typically follow for laying out my character animations. Hopefully this format is visible on all versions of this post and won't be inexplicably confusing.)

I'm very proud of it. This sort of "chibi" version of the FNaF 1 desk is kind of cute, in a way. I love the little TVs and the soda cup. There's so much detail on this that can't even be seen, but I don't do this just for practicality; I do it because it's fun, I learn things, and I thoroughly enjoy it! The phone cord has a complex bone setup to allow it to spring properly like a real phone cord does. It's not even visible half the time but it was a ton of fun to set up and it taught me more about armatures and constraints. Anything you make in this software (Blender) is a potential new learning experience. (Especially if you aren't using the ancient 2.79 version like I am.)

Sanitation Station

At first I felt I was grasping at straws for characters, but the more I thought about adding Sanitation Station, the better the idea started to seem. Maybe I've been consumed by madness, but if you take a look at this goober, you might start to see things from my point of view.

Now you may be thinking:

"That one's not even a real character! It's an inanimate object with a face drawn on it! At least Phone Guy has dialog and a personality! Even Trash & The Gang had established actions and personalities in Ultimate Custom Night, but not the Sanitation Station! Why would Sanitation Station be added to the character roster?"

Consider this: the Paper Pals appeared in the original FNaF world, and before that they were only ever depicted as completely static. It wasn't even clear if they were alive or if they were just being moved by the animatronics to mess with you. Sanitation Station actually has an impact on gameplay, which means it has a bigger role than the Paper Pals ever did, and in just one game!

Additionally, I have been adding new defense-based moves to this game concept - something I feel were left unexplored by the original FNaF World - and many of them have to do with safety features. "Threadlockers", "Waterproofing", "Stabilizers", "Repairs", "Bubble Bath" (in reference to the Phone Guy's dialog from FNaF 1), and that's just scratching the surface. The question came to mind: "Who do I give these moves to? Almost every Five Nights at Freddy's character is built around killing you, which one could possibly receive safety-based attacks?" That's where the amazing Sanitation Station comes in! It's a collection of safety items that exists entirely to lower your liability risk in its source material. It's the perfect candidate! And it has a face on it, which makes it a much more reasonable candidate than, say, the automatic security doors. And really, how can you say no to that face?

Additionally, Sanitation Station appears in Ultimate Custom Night, therefore securing it as a recurring character in the franchise, and justifying its position in the FNaF World 2 character roster.

(This is from Ultimate Custom Night, and is not my render.)

As always, thanks for checking out my art, (especially this post in particular, these are not especially popular characters.) I'll catch you on the flipside!

[ryuzakemo128]

A letter for you

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x you, female reader

Content Warning: SA mentioned. Implied verbal abuse. Manipulation. The whole nine yards of deep and dark. Toxic parents.

Words: 623

Masterlist

Divider Credit: @cafekitsune

Note: Sequel to the headcanons.

You had to do it, didn’t you? You just had to do this shit to me. Even though you were having a taste of your own medicine. You had to make yourself into a martyred victim of some kind. Don’t try to deny it. I know for a fact you’re sitting there, reading this letter with a cocky smirk or grin, thinking, ‘I have him where I want him.’ No you don’t. You will get nothing from me.

Ever.

I heard you were running your mouth again. Saying shit about me behind my back. You wanted a reaction so badly to make yourself into an angel from the soul of an endless devil, I won’t fall to my knees and beg for you to come back. Crafting an angel from your bones when we all know you’re unfit to become one of your own accord.

I have grown since I left you. I have grown since I told you to leave my fucking apartment. Don’t lie about shit when you can’t help but suck cock while I’m gone. Don’t spin the truth like the records you trashed one afternoon, lying about it being a mistake.

You made vile comments about my past as a sexual assault victim. You made me hate myself more than I ever did. Fuck you and the horse you ride on. Or in your case cock.

Not only that, but you lied when you said you stopped seeing him.

Not only that, but you are a natural-born snake. A liar. A thief. I only just managed to steal back my heart you took from me when we first met.

I haven’t decided whether I want to forgive you. Maybe I’ll decide that forgiving you isn’t worth it. Maybe I shouldn’t forgive you anyway. Forgiveness is too good for you. You didn’t work to earn it. You didn’t bleed for it. Furthermore, you didn't sweat hard for it. You did nothing to get the right to be given it. I don’t want to hear more excuses, and for once in your life fix your god-damn plumbing issue with your shitty second toilet.

Come find me when you’re done fucking up the people around you. Come see me when you want to learn to grow the fuck-up and deal with the real world. As I have. As the rest of people down here. Until then, stay the fuck away from me.

Until you realise you are the cause of your own mistakes. I can’t take you back. I can’t risk my heart getting torn to pieces. My patience with you has officially ended, and my claws are about to come out. You have fucked with the wrong person. Don’t mistake this letter for a last kiss or last hurrah. I don’t have time to fucking deal with your mistakes. Fix them yourself, you petulant fucking child.

Go to therapy.

Make better life choices.

Actually, live a life instead of coasting along with whoever’s dick is inside of you right now. It won’t fix your so called ‘personality’. People will eventually get tired of your shit and leave you behind.

Fix your fucking front door lock. It’s loose and someone could easily break in to steal your shit. Fix it.

Instead of blaming your exes for leaving you. Question as to why they left you to begin with. Have some self-respect, woman, and look inward instead of outward.

Cut off your toxic parents. They don’t actually care about you, they just want to lord over you and insult your choices. Cut them out. Go no contact with them. Block their numbers, block them on social media. You don’t need them in the same way they need you. Cut off your toxic parents.

What we deserve and what we get are two different things.

Yours, in annoyed yet carefree, pleasant solitude, Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley

[wheels-of-despair]

Eddie Munson (Stranger Things) Masterlist

Welcome to my Eddieverse, which I'm affectionately referring to as Evil Woman, Don't You Play Your Games With Me. These are snippets of a playful, prank-filled relationship that begins in 1984, starring Eddie Munson and a female reader I call Evil Woman.

These stories were originally designed to be standalones that could be read in any order, but as this world grows, a little organization might help. The original list below, with descriptions, is the order in which they were posted. There's also a list in chronological order. You can still pick and choose and read in any order you want. Both lists will be updated as I post new stuff.

If you are a blank or ageless blog who interacts with a fic that contains as Do Not Interact (DNI) warning, you will be blocked.

🧡 - Regularly scheduled light-hearted fun. 🖤 - Shit just got real. 💛 - IDK man, this one just kind of wrote itself. 💖 - Wait, there's romance now?

Wrapping Paper 🎅🧡 Eddie thinks he's here to hang out while you wrap presents, but you have something else in mind.

Fucking Fireworks 🎇🖤 Eddie doesn't like fireworks anymore. (New Year's Eve angst, AU where the events of S4 weren't prevented by the fic below)

The Fastest Fix-It (Or: How a Jealous Girlfriend Shut That Shit Down and Saved Eddie Before the Bell Rang) 🧡 In which a jealous girlfriend completely de-rails season 4, but Eddie's fine, so it's all good. (Fix-It, via the path of least resistance)

Draw Me Like One of Your Dwarf Girls, Eddie 🧡 Inspired by Titanic, Eddie decides to work on his drawing skills, and accidentally awakens a monster.

Eddie Munson and the Worst Valentine's Day Ever 💝🖤 An 8-year-old Eddie Munson has an experience that changes his feelings on Valentine's Day forever. (will make you cry)

Eddie Munson and the Best Anti-Valentine's Day Ever 💝🧡 In a sequel to the story above, Eddie discovers that Valentine's Day isn't so bad when you have someone to hate it with. (2.8k of me trying to make amends for what I did to him in the prequel)

Involuntary Secretary and the Dream Escape 💛 People won't leave you the hell alone, so Eddie comes to the rescue like the hero he is.

Classy Girl and the Scruffy Boy 🧡 Eddie's girl invites him over for a romantic dinner and a movie. It's... not exactly what he expected.

Wake-Up Call 🧡 Eddie doesn't want to get up. Sucks to be him.

The Case of the Missing Eddie 🖤🧡 Eddie disappears, and you freak the hell out.

Pinch Proof 🍀🧡 Eddie forgot to wear green on St. Patrick's Day, but you have an easy solution.

The Nerd King Cops a Feel 🧡 Eddie learns something about bras: He hates them.

Revenge of the Freaks 🧡 The Hellfire Club does April Fool's Day a little differently than you might expect.

It's the Easter Dragon, Eddie Munson 🐣🧡 Just a big scary metalhead doing cute Easter-y things with Evil Woman and her family for the first time, nothing to see here.

Evil Woman, Don't You Play Your Games With Me 🧡 The story of how Evil Woman got her name.

The Ups and Downs of Dating a Trash Panda 🧡 Eddie and Evil Woman's first date doesn't go exactly as planned… but everything works out in the end. Obviously.

It's Okay If You Are 🧡 Evil Woman and Eddie have a talk about The Dreaded V-Word.

Smoke Break 💖 Hellfire is holed up in your basement on prom night, but you can't sleep. Might as well drag Eddie outside for a smoke break.

I Touched Banana Bubblicious For You 🖤🧡 Some dickhead stuck a wad of gum in Eddie's hair, and you get the honor of removing it.

The Fuck Did You Just Say to Me? 💛💖 Eddie tests the degradation waters. Evil Woman boils him in it.

Who's Your Fucking Daddy? 💛💖 Eddie tries out the "daddy" thing. EW has an unexpected reaction.

You're the Fucking Worst 💛💖 Eddie tries talking dirty. Evil Woman is not a fan.

The First and Last Breakup of Eddie Munson and Evil Woman 🖤 Once upon a time, two stupid teenagers fell in love. And then they broke up for a stupid reason and spent a whole week doing stupid things because they're stupid teenagers. (angst with a happy ending)

Werewolf Children 🧡 The first time Eddie spent the night with Evil Woman, it was kind of an accident…

Sweet New Tatty 🧡 Eddie has a new tattoo, and it's driving Evil Woman crazy.

A Very Important Date 🎂🧡 Evil Woman doesn't want to make a big deal out of her birthday. However, she's dating Eddie Munson, sooo…

Clown Around and Find Out 🤡💛 Eddie decides to play a prank on Evil Woman, and quickly finds out just how dangerous that is.

The Little Air Conditioner That Could 🔥🧡 Eddie's girl is having a love affair with his air conditioner.

Secret Weapons 🧡 Eddie's mad at Evil Woman (over something dumb, don't worry, doesn't matter), but she knows how to win him back.

This Is Better 🧡 Eddie's lady love is down with The Curse, but his cuddly nature and massive paws come to the rescue.

Fangs for the Mammaries 🧡💖 Eddie wants to try a sexy new toy into the bedroom. Evil Woman wants a divorce. (unhinged Halloween-adjacent fluff)

Don't Move 💖 Eddie looks really good waiting for your snacks to come out of the microwave. So good that you'd rather eat him instead.

Eddie Munson Is My Babydaddy 🧡 Eddie and Evil Woman are responsible for a Flour Sack Baby for a week. Shenanigans ensue.

Flying Monkeys Couldn't Drag Me Away 🍂🧡 Evil Woman invites Eddie over for a fun fall night of makin' treats and watchin' a movie with the family.

What If Real Life Is the Nightmare? 🖤 Evil Woman has a dream about finding Eddie's broken body in a dark and awful place full of slimy monsters and red lightning… but it's just a dream, right? RIGHT? (dark but has a happy ending, I promise)

Bonus Blurb: What If Real Life Is Good? 🧡 Evil Woman comes home after What If Real Life Is the Nightmare and has A Heartfelt Moment with Baby Bro. (brotherly fluff, not much Eddie)

The Last First Day 🧡 Eddie and Evil Woman have a dramatic reunion on his last first day at Hawkins High. Class of '86, baby!

The First Lazy Thanksgiving 🧡🦃 Eddie comes to stay with Evil Woman during Thanksgiving Break '85 for a lazy and turkey-filled few days… but do holiday plans ever actually turn out the way they're supposed to?

I Hate Mondays 🧡 Like his beloved Garfield, Eddie hates Mondays. Evil Woman decides to give him a reason to look forward to them.

The Family Holiday 🖤🎅 It's December of 1985, and Evil Woman is ready to spend her first real Christmas with Eddie… why is he being weird about it?

I Promise 🧡🎅 Eddie gives Evil Woman something special during a quiet moment together on Christmas Morning '85.

A Slightly Late Munson Christmas 🧡🎅 Eddie spent Christmas '85 with Evil Woman, but it's time to go home and celebrate with Wayne… what if he brings her along?

The First Countdown 🧡🎇 Eddie and Evil Woman go to Reefer Rick's on New Year's Eve to say goodbye to 1985… and hello to a new favorite tradition.

The Best $7 Eddie Munson Ever Spent 🧡 In the fall of 1983, Eddie bought something he thought was cool… but he didn't realize how important it was until a year later.

The Devil's Trip 🧡 Eddie and Evil Woman embark on an epic spring break road trip… in which everything goes wrong.

Evil Woman's Tit-Warming Service 🧡 Eddie's cold, and there's only one acceptable solution to this very perky problem.

The Freak and His Evil Woman Do Valentine's Day 🧡💘 Last year's anti-Valentine's Day date was a success… but what if Eddie and Evil Woman tried normal romantic stuff in 1986?

Three Days 🖤🧡 Three days after Eddie and Evil Woman met for the very first time… there was a jock encounter they'll never forget.

Have You Ever Choked a Chicken? 🧡 Evil Woman decides to pop in and surprise Eddie with some morning cuddles… but, uh, he's a little busy.

A Situation 🧡🍍 There's only one thing in the world that could make Eddie turn Evil Woman Action down… and it's down there.

Taking Matters Into Your Own Hands 🧡 Eddie's on the phone talking to a nerd, and not in bed pleasuring his beloved like he should be. Evil Woman finds a way to make him focus on the important things.

Boys Are Idiots 🖤 (Alternate Version starring Billy Hargrove) Evil Woman gets partnered up with Steve Harrington for a science project. Which means she has to TALK to him? And be NEAR him? Eddie Munson is NOT a fan.

The Breakfast Club 🧡 It's 1985, and it seems like the entirety of Hawkins High is obsessed with The Breakfast Club. Evil Woman drags Eddie to the theater to see what all the fuss is about.

Evil Woman Sees (Big) Red 🖤👊 Remember in I Touched Banana Bubblicious For You, when Evil Woman had to get gum out of Eddie's hair? Again? Well… what if she found the person responsible?

The Long Con 🧡 Evil Woman brings Eddie a thoughtful gift… but there are some springs attached.

Can't Take You Anywhere 🧡 Eddie is super bored in the BMV and Evil Woman needs to find something for him to do, stat!

Heaven and Hell (Or: Eddie and Evil Woman Do… Prom?!) 🧡 Eddie and Evil Woman are checks notes going to prom? Like normies?!

The Letter 🖤🧡 Evil Woman gets a letter in the mail and says it's not a big deal… but to Eddie Munson, it's a very big deal.

Go Get 'Em, Tiger 🧡 Evil Woman sees Eddie in his gym shorts. 😏

Munson v. O'Donnell 🖤🧡 It's 1986, and Eddie Munson's long and storied high school career has come down to O'Donnell's final… and EW believing in him.

Did I Forget to Mention That? 🖤🧡 Eddie overhears a phone call between EW and the father she hates, which leads to a discussion they probably should've had ages ago.

Look At Him Now 🧡 Evil Woman sits with Wayne and watches Eddie be a dork.

Corroded Coffin v. Slip 'n Slide 🧡 Eddie and Evil Woman find an old Slip 'n Slide at a yard sale, and Corroded Coffin is super excited to try it out.

Best Seat in the House 🧡 Eddie needs a place to sit. Is Evil Woman's lap available?

Evil Woman and Baby Bro vs. The Worst Summer Vacation Ever 💛 Evil Woman and Baby Bro are off to see their old man in sunny Florida! Against their will. Armed only with well-concealed snacks and metal mix tapes and unacceptable attitudes. Send help.

The Legend of Lobster-Dick 🧡 It's Gareth's birthday! Evil Woman and Eddie present him with a cake he'll never forget. In front of all his friends. Oh no.

Ghost-Fuckers 🧡👻 Evil Woman dresses up to give Eddie a spooky, sexy surprise. But since when do things ever go as planned for those two?

How to Get a Hot Date 🖤🧡 Eddie and Evil Woman run into a little jock trouble… but she'll snark their way out of it. And into something else.

Brawl in Hallway B 👊 You mess with the Dungeon Master, you get the Hellfire Horns… or something. Or: Eddie, Evil Woman & Co. have had enough.

Gonna Need A Bigger Bathtub 🧡 Evil Woman, Eddie, and the rest of the Hellfire nerds have been sentenced to helping out at the school carnival.

Late 🖤 Eddie and Evil Woman survive a pregnancy scare.

The Sacrifice 🦇 Evil Woman makes an offering to the Prince of Darkness.

Stargazer 🧡 Eddie and Evil Woman do a little stargazing.

Want to read the Eddie x Evil Woman stories in chronological order instead? Click here!

Blurbs Based on Emojis 🔪 - Worst Baby-Sitter in the World 🥺 - Ugh, Fine! 🧝‍♀️ - Yes, My Queen 🐈 - Eddie's Familiar 🎢 - Traveling Death Trap

...and sometimes I write for Other People's Eddies. funsonmunson-again's birthday game oneforthemunny's summer game oneforthemunny's one-derful year

[noveratus]

I just watched Fairly Oddparents a new wish, and here are my thoughts.

I love this show. Genuinely, this is my probably my favorite reboot/sequel show that I have ever watched along with Fiona and Cake. It is fantastic and if you have not seen it yet, I recommend you do.

The best way to describe this show is that it feels like someone took the concept of Fairly Oddparents and applied it in modern times, and it works so well. The original show was wackier and full of more hijinks, while this show follows the trend of modern cartoons being more mature, with characters feeling more realistic and human. Yes, there are still plenty of cartoon shenanigans, it is very funny, but it is also so good at writing characters. No longer does it need to rely on over the top cartoony satires. It uses its modern setting and its realism in its favor, blending it with the shenanigans and magic that the show is known for.

I have seen some people say that Peri is the only good thing about the show and I couldn't disagree more. Yes, I do think the show is stronger in its second half, once he appears, however, I think he is alright. To me, the real star is Hazel and her relationship with Cosmo and Wanda as well as her own parents. It is so refreshing to see genuinely good parents trying their best, but who sometimes screw up instead of idiots who treat their child as trash. Dev is also a highlight, he is a very deep character for a show like this. But yes, I love that Hazel feels like a character more mature for her age, because that allows her to have issues that relate not only to kids, but adults too. It is incredibly smart. And those are the best episodes, the ones where things that things that are actually important, like dealing with anxiety (which is explored several times in the show), learning to appreciate your age, and accepting who you are are beautiful.

The first part does have the slight issue of having episodes whose main purpose seem to be introducing new characters to potentially explore them later and very little more, but those are just a couple of episodes and they do learn pretty quickly how to mix character introductions with life lessons. It is an overall brilliant show.

There were some episodes that were a little boring to me- or rather random since they didn't really deal with any characters learning anything truly, but if the writers were having fun with their concept I don't mind.

I think that my real biggest issue was the last episode of the show that felt a little rushed with Dev and Irep just taking over Fairy World like that and then getting it back felt too easy, but I won't complain too much. Having Dev lose Peri after he said he cared about him, the only thing Dev really wanted hurt. It does lead to the issue with fairies, because, for Hazel, losing Cosmo and Wanda will be sad, but she still has loving parents and friends, and even her teachers love her. She will be fine when the time comes. But Dev is in a similar spot as Timmy, where their fairy is all they have. That's their entire family and you will take that away from them, potentially leaving them to end up as Crocker.

I wonder if they will explore that at any point. I have hope. Speaking of exploring, I do hope that we see more of the side characters, like I would love it if Hazel took a step back for a few episodes and let Winn shine (fuck yeah, nb rep), or another one of the kids or even Cosmo and Wanda. I do want to know how they feel about their retirement and their relationship since it is so much better than it was before. They are a genuinely great couple in this show and incredibly funny, too. Their love is contagious.

Now, for ships, because so far I have seen some, uh, let's say interesting ships for this show, and yet, I have not once heard the mention of what is my personal favorite ship (which is technically a crackship but shhh) and that is Peri X Anthony. Anthony is shown to maybe be having relationship issues, and I think Peri is incredibly queercoded, not to mention, I think they would really get along. Also, Anthony is the only adult who can't forget fairies. Here is my fanfic: together, they create a place to help people who lost their fairy godparents and have no one left, much like how Timmy was most likely left when we last saw him. As for what happened to Timmy, I'm honestly not too fussed about him. If they want to bring him back, I hope they do with the intent of developing him further rather than just a cameo. And even then, I think that it would be far more interesting to bring back other characters first, like Trixie or any of the female characters who were done so dirty in the original. But if I had to bring him back, I'd do so by having him be working for AJ as a paranormal investigator. Much like crocker, he never grew past his fairies, but he knows how to mask it better. Deep down, he is trying to fill the hole he fills he still has deep down, which stops him from fully growing. That's just my fanfic, though. For now, all that I ask is more focus on the side characters.

[moonlitkilljoy]

michie ficrecs!

hi!! i saw @24-guy asking for michie fic recs for what to reread and figured i’d just post the fic rec list i made for my friends :-) i’m making my own post because it has some fics written by 24-guy and i’d feel really weird recommending those directly to zem, but i figured someone else might also be interested fjdjfnd

i've split this list into completed fics and ongoing fics for your viewing pleasure, otherwise they're in no particular order :] let me know if there's any mistakes or misattributions, i didn't get anyone to proof read this for me before posting ^^;

enjoy!

COMPLETED:

Max Jagerman's Socks by lab_trash / @lab-trash

"Max's socks start getting interesting, to the point where people actually notice. They don't even look like stuff he'd own, really."

~4k words, 1 chapter, rated T; pure fluff, 5+1 things, a really cute and cozy secret relationship fic

Dangling from the edge by Olive_of_Vanders / @oliveofvanders

"On that fateful day at the Waylon place, a certain weeb saved the bully."

~1.5k words, 1 chapter, rated T; richie saves max's life at the waylon place, plus bonus points for the uncle paul headcanon :] i actually stumbled upon this while trying to remember which fics i’ve been meaning to rec but it's VERY good so i just had to include it

Near Death Panick by lab_trash / @lab-trash

"Max and Richie panic when Max almost dies and they forget they aren't alone."

~2.5k words, 1 chapter, rated G; richie saves max's life at the waylon place, with added secret relationship <3 a delight to read

Hatchetfield's Finest Breadsticks by KairiTheMango / @kairithemang0

"Richie was unsure if he regretted agreeing to be Max's Algebra tutor just yet, however out of the kindness of his heart (and deep down his desire to spend more time with him) he chose to take the job. How hard could it be really? Just a few hours of extra math, it wouldn't hurt anyone."

~1.5k words, 1 chapter, rated G; a short and sweet tutoring fic!!! real neat

class of 2021 by hatchetscandal

"living it, ten years were just that—ten long years. but looking back, ten years is simply the blink of an eye. or the hatchetfield high school class of 2021 is celebrating their ten year reunion, and things have changed drastically in that time."

~4k words, 1 chapter, rated T; cute future class-reunion fic :]

Michie short series - What the fuck happened last night by bonezthewriter

"Richie wakes up in the bed of Max Jagerman one fateful day. Follow them as they develop their relationship; and themselves."

series: ~5.5k words total, 4 works (4 chapters total), no ratings except for the last work (rated T); possible cw for misunderstandings of a somewhat sexual nature, nothing actually happens but they sure do convince themselves it did

Lost and Found by 24_GUY / @24-guy

"A Canon Divergent AU with Michie secret dating and a lot of suffering for Richie. (Less suffering in the sequel, I'm determined to have a happy ending.)"

series: ~21.5k words total, 2 works (18 chapters total), all works rated T; hurt/comfort + secret relationship, THIS ONE IS SO GOOD. it explores richie’s grief at losing max in a really interesting way and then manages to work in a happy ending <3 cw/tw for detailed depictions of the different stages of grief (especially depression)

cause i can’t help it if you look like an angel by pixelprotag / @milgram

"max finds a pretty cool cosplayer online. halloween rolls around, and it turns out he goes to his school."

~1.5k words, 1 chapter, rated T; a really cute fic surrounding the idea of richie doing cosplay, plus another win for "paul is richie's uncle" truthers :P

Paul Matthews and his many children by ThatStar_Guy

"Paul acquires his first adopted son when his sister kicks out his nephew, Richie, because of his sexuality. Richie goes to Paul for help, and he and Emma are glad to provide it. He acquires his second adopted son when Tom perishes in an explosion. Tim, having no other family, comes to live with them. He acquires his first unofficial son when Pete starts spending every day at his house. He acquires his first unofficial daughter when Ruth also spends every minute at his house. He acquires his second unofficial daughter when Grace starts dating Ruth. He acquires his first blood daughter with Emma when they are 32. He acquires his first son in law when Richie marries Max at 20. He acquires his first unofficial daughter in law when Pete marries Steph at 22. He acquires his first grandchild when Richie and Max adopt at 24. He acquires his first and second unofficial grandkids when Pete and Steph are 25."

~3k words, 1 chapter, rated G; a "paul is richie’s uncle” fic taken to the extreme in the absolute BEST way possible. mostly paul centric and focused on paul/emma, with background richie/max, grace/ruth, and pete/steph as far as ships go. THIS ONE IS OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITES!!! lots of Black Friday references

r/TrueOffMyChest by lab_trash / @lab-trash

"I (21m) am in love with my roommate and former bully victim (20m)"

~3k words, 1 chapter, rated G; future fic, in-universe reddit post format. this ones clever and addresses just how shitty Max was in highschool

Maybe We Can Find A Home Here by 24_GUY / @24-guy

"Max confides in Ruth once, and gets a family out of it."

~3k words, 1 chapter, rated T; a really cute ruth and max friendship fic. words cannot express how much i adore it :3

UNFINISHED:

Won't you pray for me? by Whowillprayforyou / @whowillprayforyou

"Max Jägerman is as straight as a board, as per the norm with being who he is. King of the school, Star quarterback. He's got one weakness, Repressed nerds, and thankfully Grace chasity isn't letting up any time soon. Imagine his surprise when his focus shifts to a different not so repressed nerd, after a life changing event. Even more shocking, said nerd is Richard Lipschitz."

~17k words, 5 chapters, no rating as of posting; richie saves max’s life at the waylon house, slow burn ensues <3 i'm literally obsessed with this one

Zeek: The Fighting Nighthawk by lab_trash / @lab-trash

"Max strikes up conversation with their school mascot without knowing who's under the costume. Richie just goes with it, even through that massive anxiety… which fades so quickly for some reason. He learns so much about Max, and he'd never seen him so relaxed before. It's not so bad."

~9k words, 4 chapters, rated T as of posting; secret identity shenaniganery >:] I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH. it's probably one of my favorite npmd fics. plus, this one has the “trevor is richie’s twin” headcanon in a really prominent way which the author executes really well

Car Lights by 24_GUY / @24-guy

"When Richie takes Amanda - his best friend's daughter and his goddaughter - to the grocery store to fill their day, he least expects to run into Max Jägerman of all people."

~36k words, 18 chapters, rated T as of posting; future fic with background steph/pete and some really sweet ruth and max friendship moments :3 I FUCKING ADORE THIS ONE!!! another great twin headcanon piece as well. it should be noted that i've been a dancer for 15 years and this is somewhat of a dancer au, so i may be biased

Beanies by lab_trash / @lab-trash

"As soon as Max turned 16, his father began berating him to get a job so he could pay rent for his room. Actually, that’s a lie. It started a couple weeks before he turned 16. To “give him time.” He actually expected Max to have a job as soon as he was 16. It wasn’t so bad at first, since he didn’t have school and he could manage his part-time job and whatever sport practice he had going on at that time. But once the school year started… Max was always a bully. But in his junior year, he became a literal monster. OR: Max works at Beanies and accidentally sort of makes friends with a regular customer who just happens to be a nerd."

~16k words, 9 chapters, rated G as of posting; paul is richies uncle and theres a background focus on paul/emma. probably my all time favorite michie fic— lotta well thought out references to the other musicals. i've been rereading at least part of it every day for the last couple days, its just that good

thanks for reading!!

feel free to drop into my ask box to talk about any of these or just hatchetfield stuff in general ^w^ have a lovely day/night

[fancylala4]

This is so stupid. Luca and turning red didn’t even show in theaters and was put on Disney +. Of course they not going to make any money. With elemental, it ended up being a success. It just had horrible marketing and had a slow start at the box office. So the only real flop here is lightyear and that was from an established franchise.

How did they come to the conclusion that they need to make sequels and spinoffs when lightyear had poor box office numbers? And it doesn’t have the same excuse as the other movies listed here. It wasn’t put on Disney + nor did it had poor marketing for a good movie. If anything, it proved that people loved original movies rather than trash ass cash grab movies like lightyear.

Disney is ruining good franchises and companies. It was a mistake that they brought Pixar. It’s such a shame because they were such a good company but now they are focused on making as much money as possible off their movies like Disney is.

[clavissionary-position]

What Emma Would Do

Ignore me. This is just me working through my own thoughts and feelings on this. Also I'm an idiot.

***BIG EDIT: I misread and misinterpreted. Azel was nearly drugged and SA'd, so his reaction, however cruel, makes complete sense to me. If he was real I couldn't apologize to him enough.

Moving @/caffedrine's billion-dollar comments up here.

My original, misguided post is below the cut if you're interested.

I have to ask myself what Emma would do. Within reason. And only within the scope of this fictional game, because I'm not about to touch this topic as it exists in the real world. That's for people much smarter than me.

But for the game, my dismissing of Azel as a cruel misogynist without seeing his circumstances and worldview shuts down the conversation the same way it does when Azel dismisses a woman as a slut without seeing her circumstances and worldview.

(Did he actually use the word 'slut' or did google just translate 痴女 like that for me... I should double-check... edit: oh my bad, he calls her a "female molester", which... I can't say he's wrong considering she tried to give him an aphrodisiac...? The word also means "stupid woman", so he could very well have meant it that way too, especially for some reasons I get into later in the post.)

Soooo, he didn't actually call her a slut. I'm an idiot 😌 I'm sorry, Azel. Dunno if any of my points below mean anything, but I'll leave it here anyway:

The running theme in Ikepri is to look beyond the beast and see the human inside. To meet them halfway. To see their heart. And that heart is always so very terribly scarred. All these guys have gone through their own traumas and come out the other end behaving in ways designed to be armor, to protect themselves from any further pain.

I can only speculate about Azel this early in his story arc, but being showered with the same adoration and reverence that people only show a god, day in and day out, probably fucks with your mentality a bit if you are still only human at the end of the day. Having women try to seduce you only because you're The Living God, well, we saw what that kind of shallow treatment did to Silvio. Women see you as an object and so women become objects to you. You want to be loved, but you don't want to be hurt.

That might only be scratching the surface with Azel, though. He's also clearly jaded from listening to the same old interpersonal problems people have when in relationships. Love is actual trash to him, not even worth a single penny. It's trash because the very people who follow him prove it to him on a daily basis, I imagine.

Yet that's still not the full picture. I mean, we obviously won't have the full picture until his main route drops, but there's another key factor to consider with Azel.

He quotes Pascal in Licht's sequel. "Man is only a reed, the weakest thing in nature; but he is a thinking reed." The full quote goes onto say:

"All our dignity consists, then, in thought. This is the basis on which we must raise ourselves, and not space and time, which we would not know how to fill. Let us make it our task, then, to think well: here is the principle of morality.”

(Did I read the entire context of the quote? HA! What do you take me for? A scholar or something?)

Free will and independent thought is arguably the most important thing to Azel. He has no respect for the sheep who flock to him for direction (though he'll happily take their money and tributes). Even with the dancer who tried to seduce him in the prologue, when he tells her to lick up the food she dropped after he tripped her, he presents it as a choice. Nevermind that the staggeringly unequal power dynamics at play made it so this was nothing short of coercion in the end; there was no way the dancer was in a position to stand up for herself and say no, even if that's exactly what Azel wanted. But from his perspective, defiance would have been welcome. That's why he phrased it as a choice. That she started licking up the food only solidified in Azel's mind that this woman is an unthinking reed without dignity. If you're going to act like trash, he'll treat you like trash... maybe that was part of his thinking.

On a slightly different note, I think another reason he hates the idea of love so much is because love makes people lose their ability to reason, to think. I believe he outright says as much, iirc.

In the end, I don't know from where exactly Azel's fury and cruelty comes from. It could be all of these things, it might be something else entirely. All I can think is, you can't be 'God' everyday and not be scarred by humans.

In conclusion, I can't excuse Azel's behavior. I don't excuse it. But I think Emma would try to understand the why of it, like she does in any other route. The other running theme in Ikepri is that, as a certain someone would put it, the essence of all people is love. It's their environment that twists them. Somewhere in Azel is the purest kind of love. A kind that would make any god look away in shame. That's what I want to believe in, anyhow.

Also, I need stress that I was SO wrong about whether he actually called the dancer a slut or not. Google fucked me over by translating it that way! Ah, Azel, I'm so sorry!

[rickrakontoys]

"Deadpool & Wolverine" (2024): 7/10

*no spoilers*

Generally amusing, with plenty of excessive bloody violence, potty mouth dialogue, and fun fan service-y references and cameos. Your entertainment value is proportional to your knowledge of the wider Fox-New Line Marvel movies, their behind-the-scenes drama, the current state of the MCU. I can see a lot of the gags going over the heads of the general audience.

Jackman and Reynolds have great chemistry together, giving us an unhinged odd couple, bad cop-badder cop vibe filled with stabbing and profanity. Jackman in particular delivers as a washed out mess of a Logan variant, and his redemption character arc is at the center of the movie. A lot of the film's biggest laughs come from this Wolverine's exasperation with Deadpool's verbal diarrhea.

The action scenes unfortunately lack the visceral edge of the previous two movies, and seems to try to make up for this lesser pizzazz with buckets of CGI blood, gore and needle-drops. Still, there are a few standout sequences that, despite their technical shortcomings, tickles the comic book nerd part of my brain just right. Wolverine and Deadpool fight each other on more than one occassion, with each bout reaching such absurdly violent heights as to evoke slapstick comedy.  A oner towards the end seems to gleefully homage Oldboy.

The plot feels underwritten, tonally inconsistent, and mostly serves as an excuse for fights and multiversal cameos. Attempts to add emotional depth in between Wade Wilson's zany antics don't always land. Scenes between the action tend to drag heavily. Characters too often just stand around in a room spouting exposition or jokes in the plainest manner. Shawn Levy's blocking of scenes is too flat and uninteresting, and a step down from Tim Miller and David Leitch's previous two 'pools. Even with occassional splashes of vibrant color (chiefly from Wolverine's yellow suit), scenes look washed out, lacking depth or contrast.  Thankfully the juvenile humor and gratuitous violence keeps it from being too dull, though even that eventually gets a little grating.

But clearly, no one is watching a movie called "Deadpool and Wolverine" for the plot or emotional depth. They're here to see Hugh Jackman finally don a comic accurate Wolverine suit and team up with Deadpool on a multiverse adventure. On that, it mostly delivers.

The movie often feels like a bittersweet farewell to the Fox-Marvel franchise. Something could be said of how the movie reckons with the ethics of having a powerful entity deciding which universes can live or die, how some things deemed purposeful are elevated while other things thrown out to "the trash heap" to be forgotten. It doesn't explore these themes so much as it uses the idea as an excuse for gags and jabs at both Disney and Fox (Reynolds gets away with a lot). This is definitely the most "meta" Deadpool movie, for better or worse.

But it's a silly good time nonetheless. And the cameos in the movie are actually fun and not gratuitous, with a tinge of melancholy... a farewell to a tumultuous franchise.

Will it hold up to scrutiny after the excitement of all the surprise cameos dies down? Not too sure... It doesn't feel like a natural progression of the Deadpool franchise. Like "No Way Home" was for Tom Holland's Spider-Man, it stops the series' general plotline for a cynical ploy to appeal to nostalgia, rather than be a real sequel to Deadpool 2 (heck most of the characters from DP2 are absent, and his usual supporting cast is sidelined immediately... except Peter). That doesn't mean it's not fun. Reynolds gets his Hugh Jackman team-up movie. But you could feel the corporate franchise milking behind it all. Just because Reynolds keeps making self-aware quips about Disney's greed and exploitiveness of IP doesnt make it okay.