#{ even if she chooses one or the other of them she is still her own!!!!! }

[shiningmystic]

Welcome to the little space I created for you singles to see what's coming next in love! I hope this finds you before valentines day and always be open to the possibilities that the world has. I am an energy reader and will use the energy you are giving off now to see what you are attracting into your future. Prediction readings are not a guarantee especially with energy shifts so be open and to see what comes up. Enjoy the reading? I have a small shop on Ko-fi that you can order another reading from to support me. Check pinned post for all about me as a reader!

Ko-Fi I Shmfeedback I Pinned Post

This reading is for 17 year olds and older! Minors DO NOT INTERACT or assume this is an accurate reading for you!

Thank you for your support! I send luck in love your way <3

Theme Song: Die with a Smile by Lady gaga featuring Bruno mars

First Rose: Strength, Nine of Cups (rx), The Moon (rx), Five of Swords

Clarifying Cards: Queen of wands, nine of coins (rx)

For you my first rose I do see someone coming into your life but they might not be who you imagine. I see you hold onto a lot of past judgments from your previous relationships (familial or even romantic) these judgements towards yourself are projected onto others unintentionally. I see you using this defense mechanism for helpful moments but what you desire and what you truly want isn't fully aligned. I see your expectations are high and you may wonder why this person you have been manifesting isn't here. It may be because you aren't seeing the full picture or maybe you do and see to much of peoples flaws to let them in feeling like they are just not a right fit but you really don't know; many people are good at hiding there own true selves like how others are good at hiding there not so favorable traits.

There is a difference with having high expectations to choose the right person and those high expectations being used as a way of defense instead of being helpful. I'm NOT saying to lower your expectations or standards but there is this idea you continue to hold that hinders you from finding anyone that could fit your "list". Maybe there is a job or a certain requirement this partner should have to be before you accept them and everyone who may not meet those exact lines is out of your mind. I do not think this is shallow at all, I think your just doing it to not get hurt by someone that you previously have had to abide and cater to and you want to make this relationship more worth it. I see you have been patient and strong for yourself trying to choose the right one when the right one could be anyone; you do have to let go and trust when it comes to loving someone which is something I have to learn to. Trusting yourself that you will do everything in your power to leave if you choose the wrong one. Love isn't easy but it can be simpler with the right outlook. Your dream person will come along and maybe they will surprise you but pushing others away will only push that person away as well. I am also getting the message specifically for some of you that you are learning to trust yourself and that is beautiful yet you still hold onto judgments that make you feel like your can't trust yourself. Its funny how we can pick out insecurities of others because we are insecure of those flaws in ourselves.

I've said this on my blog many times "you are worthy of all good things happening even if you did nothing to 'earn' it." Take care of yourself and do physical things to build your confidence like getting a facial, exercise, start a new hobby; build yourself up and this person will pop into your life without you realizing it. Trust me, my sister found one of her soulmates when she was done with searching for a partner (after many many years of yearning for a true lover) and I am so happy for her.

Second Rose: Temperance (rx), The Fool (rx) Judgment (rx)

Clarifying Cards: Page of swords (rx), Four of wands

For you my second rose I see no one in particular coming into your love life for multiple reasons; I'm sorry to the singles who were really hoping for something soon but do not worry love can still come this is about the future after all. The future I say is always fluid which is why you can't really pinpoint certain things, just big themes and from there its up to us readers to interpret what is going on. For you my second lovely pile I see a reluctance. For some of you you have broken up with someone recently or have seen a relationship end very ugly so in your mind you have this understanding that you won't let any of that happen to you which leads me to this block that I feel in this spread. You're kinda like the first rose, you may need to reevaluate why you desire for a person; Is your life upside down and you desire peace? Has every relationship you have jumped into always surface level amazing and it ends up in a break up? The four of wands card is usually a marriage card but it can be seen as a setting of stability and finding a place of peace which may be what you truly seek at this time. I would like to say quickly that any reason is valid to desire deep love and to know you desiring a person has nothing to do with this block, it is just the approach to love that seems to hold you back and is a cycle that keeps repeating. The judgement reversed could also talk about you having a lot of self doubt and have someone on your mind but you have fear holding you still. If you have a person on your mind know that your fear is valid yet it shouldn't dictate your happiness and you won't keep sitting there asking "what if?"

Maybe your confidence is weak compared to your desire so when there may be a chance you may shy away. It's always about confidence and knowing your worth when it comes to attracting a person who will see you for you and if your ashamed of yourself? it will only hurt you and them especially if they like the you that you may judge harshly. I see many of you my second rose is that you are way better at connecting in person then online, that the internet may feel like the only way because of low self worth or confidence when you need more physical connection and communication. There is also a pressure on yourself for some of you, like you are running out of time; your soulmates and soul family are out there always so do not doubt the untouched potential within you and outside of you. This new beginning in love holds a lot of defensive energy like the first pile but I also hear, 'They wouldn't want me...who would see me as desirable?' but you are! we all are desirable to people and you would be shocked at how many people admire you. I also need to add that for some (maybe even all of you) have been working on this and I know its hard, just keep discovering and pushing. This is pretty general reading but I've seen horrible people find love so why can't you? (I'm referring to some of my family members who are married lmao) so reevaluate what love is to you and follow that love to find someone who aligns with that type of love. Don't deny your worth, you are lovable, you are worthy and you will find the courage to find the one.

Third Rose: Knight of Wands (rx), The Tower (rx), Page of Coins

Clarifying Cards: Ace of Coins, Two of Wands (rx), Nine of cups (rx)

For you my third rose I do see someone coming in and they are quite a lovely and rambunctious individual. I see you will love how they look and enjoy the fun side of them but I also see you learning a lot from this relationship. I sense a lot of stress going on and this person will lift a lot of it and give you perspective on love that you never would have witnessed before. I think you will not stay with this person (take that with a grain of salt because I hate saying that when things can change) but I see you discovering a lot about yourself and how stable you want your love and relationships to be. I see this person giving you a taste of this stable love and I see you enjoying your time together.

Ok, now to focus on the big message of this pile; You will be growing into your own, really getting to know yourself when it comes to this person being in your life and developing a dynamic with them. For some of you this person will show you things you may not want in love and may be a little to chaotic for your tastes even though I see this person also bringing fun so its a mixed bag. You may be in that energy too, going wild and living life but I think this relationship will bring you much love and happiness. Whenever I see the page of coins I think of my sister taking a leap and learning about what works for her and what doesn't in life that relates to routine money and stability (even in relationships). The earth element to me speaks about comforts and this person will bring a new comfort that you will enjoy so really live in the moment with this person ok? Always be open to what the possibilities are and if this person is a long time partner always be open to learning and communicating even if your feelings feel 'ridiculous', they are valid and should be spoken to the person that you are putting your heart and trust into. I do sense a big emphasis on communication which is interesting when I don't see swords in the spread but communicating is key in this new relationship coming your way (as it should be in every relationship). Trust in yourself and just be honest, if they aren't open to that then you know what is best for you.

Tarot Decks used: Tarot of the Divine By, Yoshi Yoshitani

[lucygraysboy]

“of course, i will, lucy gray.” there’s something so childlike and heartbreaking about her constant disbelief, this need for reassurance that he just wants to do something for her out of the goodness of his heart and not because he’s trying to gain her trust and lure her into a trap. “and i’ll be as gentle as i can be. i won’t tear a single ruffle. promise.” his hands might be calloused and rough most of the time, but around her and her possessions, he turns soft. delicate. even now, he’s touching her as though she was made of glass and could break if he as much as breathed near her. “think we got most of the tangles out. let me just grab that brush.” he gets up, wiping his hands on his pants and gathering the sticks that are still laying on the bed near reva blue. he hopes to make her laugh and throws his forearm over his eyes on his way back to her, walking funny and pretending to stumble a few times before plopping down in the chair. “i ain’t lookin’. i wasn’t lookin’,” he announces, not that he could see anything even if he was some creep and wanted to take a peek. “some unique covey we are. a birdie, a giant and miss reva blue the amputee.” he loves the sound of her laugh so very much. he just wants her to keep laughing like this. “feels all wrong, like i’ll be pryin’ into your private thoughts and all that. i’d rather you show ‘em to me when you feel like it.” feels less illegal that way. 

“he wasn’t an awful child, you know? back when our ma was alive, before the war… we had our differences, coriolanus and i, but he wasn’t evil. he didn’t go ‘round settin’ houses on fire or torturin’ other people’s pets. he wasn’t even a bad big brother, believe it or not. yeah, he always corrected and lectured me when i’d call our grandmother ‘granny’ or ‘nan’, and rolled his eyes when i said ‘ma’, but… when we had nothin’ to eat, he always shared with me what little he scavenged. that’s why i don’t think he was born evil. that’s why it’s so hard for me to understand why he first gave you our mother’s scarf, it must have been so precious to him, and then pointed a gun at you. the person you’re describin’, killin’ people and lyin’… that’s our father. not coriolanus.” but it’s been a while since the last time he spoke to his brother. things have changed. clearly. analyzing his words, billy quickly adds, “i’m not sayin’ that i don’t believe you, lucy gray. i believe your every word. but he really wasn’t a terrible child, that’s all i’m sayin’. annoyin’? yeah. evil? i don’t think so.” for a moment, the same exact thoughts come to billy, making him wonder what he would do if he had to choose between his brother and this girl. he’s never shot a man, let alone his own blood. but he would stop at nothing to protect her so… god, it’s making him nauseous. “three people?” he won’t ask for names, but it sends shivers down his spine. would their father murder their mother if she became a threat to his success? probably… “i once read a poem and there was this line, something like, it does no good to speak of roads not taken. how you shouldn’t dwell on things that didn’t happen,” he pauses, gently brushing her hair with the makeshift brush, “but could have been. but how can we not, right? maybe he’ll come to his senses one day.” though, there’s a part of billy that sincerely doubts that.

“it’s crazy how similar he is to our father. once you got on our father’s bad side, there was no goin’ back to bein’ friends with him.” but coriolanus didn’t just inherit their father’s genes. what about the parts that he got from their mother? he doesn’t know how to feel about any of this. all he knows is that he feels sorry for lucy gray. she’s been through hell and back. “i think it’s too late for that. i’m already involved. i don’t want to look away or hide under the bed if something bad happens.” she told him that he could be part of her covey. it’s not like he’ll just walk out the door and pretend not to know her if someone finds them. “i won’t leave your side. i’ll always keep you safe.” as she turns to look at him, he uses the back of his fingers to gently stroke her cheek, a sweet smile dancing on his lips. “the unknown is the worst thing, but we have to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. that’s how we outsmart anyone. we need a plan for every situation. and we need to trust each other. but if i’m being honest… i don’t see him comin’ back here to try and find you. i mean, can you picture that? coriolanus willingly wandering out into the wilderness to look for the girl he most likely shot dead months ago?”  

“once we’re done here, i’ll wash it and it’ll be as good as new,” he promises, knowing how much sentimental value the dress has. fingertips absently stroking her hair, not even trying to brush it anymore, just trying to make her feel good and help her relax. “i haven’t, by the way. gone through your songbook, i mean.” in case she’s wondering. she gave him permission to do so last night, but it seemed too personal, too invasive. “thank you, lucy gray.” it’s been a while since someone complimented his heart. people often admire what’s on the outside — his blue eyes and dark curls, his nose or cheekbones. she’s one of a very few who seem to care more about what’s underneath. “it means the world to me. i won’t let you down, i swear it.” scooping up a handful of water, he carefully pours it over her back to ensure she stays warm. “so are you, little bird. you’re very smart, too. way smarter than me.” she wouldn’t be here with him if she wasn’t highly intelligent. she wouldn’t have escaped coriolanus. which is still such a strange thought… “oh, yeah?” thankful for the distraction, he lets out another laugh. “never noticed you were also bird-sized and i was horse-sized,” he counters, getting to see her sense of humor for the first time and letting it bewitch him. he adores this side of her, but it has him wondering if this is the girl that she used to be — full of sassy remarks and giggles and sweetness. maybe she’ll be that girl again one day.

“i see…” billy hums, nodding his head even if she can’t really see him. he quickly picks up on what she’s implying, putting two and two together. the stories that she told him last night… “you don’t think my brother was born with a good heart, is that what you’re sayin’?” as children, they were like daylight and dark. polar opposites. but can he call that little boy evil? sure, they’d had their differences, but he wasn’t bad to the bone. he didn’t chase stray cats around the neighborhood or rip the wings off flies. “i’m not sure if i agree. maybe the capitol and our grandmother did that to him.” or maybe he was born with evil already inside him and it just came to light later in life. who knows? “i’m not defendin’ him, just thinkin’ out loud,” he says quickly when lucy gray’s head snaps around, looking at him with something that he can’t quite name or understand. it has him wondering if he’s said something wrong. a small, uncertain smile remains plastered to his visage, his own heart picking up pace. “did i —” say something wrong? but before he can get the words out, she’s speaking up again and he’s falling silent. gesturing for her to carry on.

“you planted a snake to scare him away and slow him down?” dark brows lifting, impressed and wary in equal measure. what if she still thinks he’s coriolanus? will he wake up with a snake under his pillow one morning? and lucy gray nowhere to be found? the idea has his heart missing a beat, chest constricting. but if she wanted to run, she would have done that while he was out by the creek. “i didn’t know ‘bout that. i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to bring back any bad memories with that story.” features softening, understanding her reaction better now. amusement fills his eyes, and he can’t help but think it’s such a badass move, setting a snake trap. “oh, i bet he thought it was venomous. what does he know ‘bout snakes? nothin’. i think that was a smart move. risky but smart. and it served its purpose, right?” it’s scary to think that his own twin brother was trying to hunt her down, shot at her, but then he thinks about their father, the kind of person he was… and it’s not so surprising anymore. “you think he would have hurt you anyway? if you came back to him instead of runnin’ away and plantin’ that snake?” is his brother truly as ruthless and heartless as their father? his heart aches for lucy gray, but for coriolanus, too. it must be awful, living that way, filled with hatred. “mhm, yeah. it’s just a silly story, but the moral is very accurate, i think. if you go through life with hatred festering in your heart, you’ll never be happy. but if you learn how to forgive and focus on healing from the bad experiences, you’ll be alright.” as if reading her thoughts, he adds, “he won’t ever find you, lucy gray. reva blue and i won’t allow it. we will always protect you. i will protect you.” 

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @steddiebingo.

Novel Movements

Countdown to Midnight Prompt: Eddie Munson | Word Count: 2684 | Rating: T | CW: Medical Emergency (Not Steddie), Language | POV: Eddie | Tags: Gym AU, Modern AU, One-Sided Enemies to Lovers, Misconceived Notions, Platonic Stobin, Steve's Flirting, But Eddie Doesn't Know That, Oblivious Eddie Munson

"Eddie Munson."

His name is said with such sarcasm that Eddie turns his head to look.

Of course.

Just what he needed today.

"Steve Harrington," Eddie mimics in the same mocking tone. He doesn't know very many names in this place, but Steve Harrington has made sure Eddie knew his, even if it was totally against Eddie's will.

Now, Steve's standing there, grinning at him.

He's not going to put up with him. Not today. 

Eddie hates this dude more than anyone else at the gym. And there are lots of gym bros here to choose to loathe. He honestly barely knows him. But Steve Harrington is always prancing around in his little shorts, with his hair stretching towards the sky, like he's not preparing to teach a workout. Eddie isn't even sure what class he teaches. All Eddie knows is that he never seems to work up a sweat during them, as far as he's ever seen.

If he's not standing around taunting Eddie, he's leaning over the front desk, harassing Robin. She's a lesbian, Eddie is sure of it, and if Steve Harrington can't see that and know to leave her alone, he needs his eyes checked. He's always just a step too close to her, and about two steps too close to Eddie.

It's frustrating, infuriating, and Eddie hates him.

He might not sign a second contract with this place. He was asked, as a favor, to take over some classes short-term, and he's enjoyed the extra cash. But it clearly comes with a cost. 

He's gonna kill Gareth for assuring him this was a cool place to work. It's not cool. Well, it's cool. Except for Steve Harrington.

There were more than enough Steve Harringtons in his high school that he doesn't need to work alongside any more of them now.

Eddie looks away, and watches as his own kickboxing students filter in. When he was younger he needed an outlet for his teenage rage, Wayne signed him up for a kickboxing class at the local gym. At first, he hated the idea. Exercise? A sport? No fucking thanks. But he gave it a try. For Wayne. 

It was just him and some weird older dude that really preferred karate in that first class, but Eddie quickly learned to love it. The release. The pounding of his heart. How the stress would seemingly just melt away, one kick, one elbow, at a time. How the resistance, heavy and thick, would ground him. 

It was a good idea. But Wayne's ideas usually are, Eddie damn well knows that. 

And now, years later, he's the one teaching the classes to help others maybe find their love of it, too. Eddie's no sports guy. Not at all. Kickboxing is his main form of exercise. Sure, he'll use the rest of the gym every so often, since it's a perk of working here, but overall, this is his only thing. 

Nothing else has ever appealed to him in this same way. 

Steve saunters down the catwalk, the sun reflecting through the huge pane glass windows, illuminating him as he's bouncing with every step. The motherfucker always gives off main character energy, and that's true today as he glows while Eddie watches him go.

He'd much rather see him going, then coming, that's for fucking sure. He's too goddamn chipper.  

Eddie's already soaked, hair clinging to his neck, so he just as well run for a bit. It's not his favorite thing, not by a long shot, but it's necessary evil sometimes. 

The wall of treadmills is blissfully empty, and he picks one, and gets to work. Feet hitting, over and over, as he counts down the time he needs to spend on this thing. He doesn't enjoy it, but he'll do it. Occasionally.

Then he catches movement beside him.

Jesus H. Christ. 

The place is a ghost town and Steve Harrington still feels the need to set up camp right next to him. 

Eddie ignores him. Pretends he doesn't even realize he's got unwanted company, and pounds along the belt. Eddie can see him in the mirror though, unfortunately, and Steve smiles. He looks graceful while running, of course he does, especially compared to Eddie's heavy stride. 

When Eddie's cooldown begins, Eddie's grateful. He's ready to hit the showers and get the hell out of here.

Steve's still running, like it's easy as can be, even after Eddie's showered and dressed, bag slung over his shoulder. 

He's gotta get home. Tomorrow is his early class day. He's not a morning person, but he conceded to having at least one class a week before nine.

Eddie rolls in, coffee cup in hand. He hears the commotion, the frantic buzz of something is happening echoing through the open gym, bouncing down the catwalk, from room to room, like it's seeking help it just can't quite find.

"Okay, everybody, give me a second. Get a drink, stretch, I'll be back and we'll get started then," Eddie says, telling his class. They are all huddled in groups discussing what might be going on. 

He jogs down the catwalk, then peeks into every class on the other side of the split structure as he passes by, looking for the right one. Most of them are empty. When he turns the corner, he sees a crowd gathered at the end of the hall, and jogs that way. Someone's on the phone with 911, thankfully, because inside Steve Harrington is performing CPR on an older man, while everybody is just standing around watching. 

Eddie ushers them away from the door, and then starts gathering up the rest of the class Steve was teaching. A room filled with senior citizens, all in their matching sweatsuits and white New Balance shoes. Standing around, looking lost.

He's not sure where to move them. He could just send them home, but thinks they need time to unwind, process what they've witnessed, and maybe that's better done here than off somewhere else, possibly alone. He sees Gareth down the hall, and snaps his fingers, waving him over, getting Gareth to take all of the now shaken students to his classroom. No, they probably aren't gonna join in on his cardio drumming class, though Eddie knows he's offered one for seniors in the past.

Then Eddie runs back in, and it's just Steve Harrington, working his ass off on this poor guy.

Eddie counts for him, like he's been trained. 1, 2, 3, over and over and Steve follows the beat of Eddie's cadence until he looks worn out.

He's sweating now. Bangs clinging damp and limp to his forehead, and Eddie hates it. It looks unnatural.

"We'll switch, in 3, 2, 1," Eddie says, and Steve lifts his hands and Eddie takes over. 

"I got…I started, fast. I think, I think, maybe," Steve breathes out in short bursts, clearly exhausted. Out of breath and shaken.

Then, Steve counts for him, while Eddie listens for sirens.

It doesn't take long before he hears them, screaming up the road, and they switch off again as Eddie runs to the main stairs to guide them in. 

The professionals take over, and Eddie stands next to Steve, watching as they shock the guy back into a normal rhythm. Maybe they did it. Maybe Steve did it. Time is the most important thing, and Steve started right away. There's a chance.

Steve gave him a chance.

Hopefully, the guy will be okay.

Hopefully, Steve will be okay.

After they wheel him out, Steve looks around, "My class."

"They're fine. Gareth's got 'em. Probably turning them into the next Ringo's as we speak."

Steve cracks a grin, but it's small, and not all there.

"C'mon," Eddie says, "you can watch me teach my beginner class, if you want, and then we'll go get something to eat. You look like you need it."

After checking in with his class first, Steve agrees, and that's how Steve Harrington, enemy number one, ends up sitting on a fitness ball, watching Eddie prepare to teach his kickboxing for beginners class.

There's an empty bag, and Steve nods towards it when Eddie circles past, "Can I?"

Eddie grins, "You want to?"

Steve nods, and Eddie nods back, helping him get set up. 

He's a natural, Eddie thinks, as he helps him make small adjustments, and then just lets him follow along. 

Maybe he's never done any kickboxing before, but he's clearly athletic. He follows Eddie's instructions well, is very flexible, and definitely not afraid to get to work. For a beginner his kicks are high, strong and confident. He's comfortable behind the bag, as he seems to be getting all his frustrations from the day out on the bag. Good. That's what he's supposed to do in here.

When the hour is up, he's dripping sweat, exhausted.

Steve's wiping his brow with the tail of his shirt, letting Eddie get a glimpse of his hairy belly. Not the right time, not the right person, Eddie has to remind himself. 

"Still want that breakfast?" Eddie asks.

"Hell, yes. I'm starving. That was a workout."

Eddie laughs, and follows him down the stairs and towards the locker room. 

They both shower, and today Eddie's not annoyed that he's in the stall next to him, not like he was on the treadmill. 

It's funny how a moment or two can change your whole perspective that you just assumed was set in stone.

They pass the front desk, scanning their keycards to sign out, and Robin stands, looking at Steve, clearly concerned. She's fidgeting, worrying her hands. 

"Are you okay? Chrissy said–"

"I'm good," he says, interrupting, reassuring her, and Eddie watches them interact. She comes around the desk and throws her arms around his neck, squeezing him tight. 

He hugs her back, "Thanks, Rob. I needed that."

"You sure you're okay? Do you want me to find someone to cover–"

"Eddie's taking me to breakfast," Steve says, and Eddie does not miss the little widening her eyes do before she schools her face back to neutral. 

"Well, that's nice of you, Eddie," she says, and Eddie realizes he's been very, very wrong about whatever their dynamic is. She adores him, obviously. 

They hit the sidewalk, "So, Robin. Is she your…"

"Best friend. She's my best friend."

Eddie nods. That checks out. Steve was annoying her, but on purpose, mutually agreed upon nuisances, without a doubt.

They're best friends. He wasn't trying to pick her up against her will.

That's interesting.

Very interesting.

"Functional fitness," Steve says, sitting across from Eddie in the booth at the diner down the street from the gym, "it's for anybody, but I mainly teach seniors. It helps keep them mobile longer, and that makes me feel like I'm making a difference, you know?"

Eddie didn't know. Eddie had no idea what Steve was doing across the building, and had clearly assumed the worst, instead of the best of him.

He was wrong about Steve Harrington, he's pretty sure.

Steve keeps talking, "It helps them with everyday tasks, you know? Push, pull, carry. That kind of thing. So, I'll get younger participants that are rehabbing injuries, or that have chronic illnesses. But it mainly skews older, for sure. I never expected one of them to go down. I don't have them do novel movements over their hearts or anything, I swear."

Eddie nods. He's not sure what a novel movement is, not really.

"What a novel movement?" he asks.

"Well," Steve says, "it's like, something that you don't do everyday. A change. Shoveling snow. Shoveling snow is a novel movement, and that's why so many people unexpectedly die doing it."

Steve makes the motion for slinging a shovel full of snow over his shoulder, "So, like, I'm not making them do things like that."

"No shoveling snow in the gym, got it," Eddie says, teasing him a little, and Steve chuckles.

"You know what I mean," Steve says.

"I do," Eddie agrees. 

"I've never had that happen before," Steve then says quietly.

"And hopefully never again," Eddie comments. "It's not your fault. It's probably lucky for him he was with you. Best possible outcome if it had to happen."

Steve runs both of his hands down his face.

"Maybe."

Steve Harrington really isn't so bad, he supposes. He clearly cares a whole lot about what happened today.

The server puts down their plates, and they eat in silence, but it isn't uncomfortable.

Then Steve speaks again, "Thanks for helping, I was surprised to see you."

"Why?"

"You always seem so annoyed when I try to chat you up," Steve says.

Eddie can't really deny it. He has been annoyed. 

Wait.

Wait.

Was Steve trying to chat him up, chat him up? Like, flirting? Eddie wasn't reading flirting from him, that's for damn sure. 

Maybe he needs to pay better attention. That's been a common theme in his life, but usually about school, not attractive men that may or may not be interested in him.

"My bark is worse than my bite," Eddie settles on, and offers him a smile.

Steve laughs, his mood finally lifting, just a little, "Well, I hope not."

Holy shit. 

Eddie is such a goddamn idiot.

He's being flirted with. He's been being flirted with, for all the time he's known Steve Harrington.

Steve sits there for a minute, stirring his drink with his straw, knocking the ice around, "Do you think any of them will show up again?"

It takes Eddie a minute to parse his meaning, "Your class? Of course they will."

Steve rolls his shoulders in a non-convinced way.

"Steve. They know how old they are. You didn't do anything wrong."

Eddie doesn't know that. Not for sure. But he believes it to be true. He's just not sure how to prove it to him. Steve clearly cares too much to have done anything risky. 

Instead, Eddie asks, "When's your next class?" 

"Tomorrow."

"For the same people?"

"Some of them. Not everybody comes everyday."

"But some do?" Eddie asks.

"Some do," he confirms. "Usually, anyway. I have regulars. Vincent was a regular."

"Well," Eddie says, "I'll come. Then we'll know at least one person will be there. You took my class, so I should take yours. It's only fair."

Steve laughs, "It's not gonna be nearly as exciting as kickboxing."

Well, Steve's gonna be there. So, that sounds pretty exciting to Eddie.

The next day the class is as full as ever, Eddie suspects. And they're all kind to Steve, patting him on the back for saving their fellow classmate. He's stable in the ICU, and things are looking positive. Steve did good. He did real good.

The only discourse is a few of them trying to figure out how they're going to figure out the scheduling to take both Steve's functional fitness class and Gareth's cardio drumming. Eddie's pretty sure the kid is gonna have to add a senior class to his schedule again now that everyone got a preview of something they may have never tried on their own.

Eddie sidles up to their conversation, "I know Gareth. I'll make sure he schedules it so you can do both."

And just like that, he's won them over as well.

Steve gets started, and Eddie follows along with the routine Steve's leading. There are chairs for some of the less stable to hang onto, when needed, and it's just a thoughtful experience, honestly. Steve's kind, and funny, and they very clearly adore him.

He might not break a sweat, but he's really doing something special here. 

Eddie really hopes he'll get to tell him that later, over dinner, or drinks. Anything he wants, as long as Eddie can make up for lost time and for being a judgmental asshole for no good reason.

Steve grins, and Eddie smiles back as they get in place for the next rep in the set.  

Now, Eddie is certain that he wants to get outside of his comfort zone, outside of the box, when it comes to Steve Harrington.

Novel movements, indeed.

If you want to sign up for a future bingo event or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddiebingo and follow along with the fun!

Notes: I didn't know where this was going, but I knew I wanted to use "Eddie Munson" the prompt as his name being said by Steve. So I got as far as, "Eddie hates this dude more than anyone else at the _."

Where? Where are they? I wondered if I could find a randomizer for jobs, and just...see if that would produce an idea. I did, right here, and spun the wheel and got "personal trainer" which isn't exactly where this led, but it got them in the gym, and the rest of the story fleshed itself out from there.

[brbarou]

so i'm writing my undergrad thesis on rote. specifically on the women of rote, specifically analyzing (and, let's be real, mostly criticizing) the ways in which hobb chooses to write them. i have a general idea of the structure and the things i'm going to write about BUT if anyone want to pitch in with anything i might've missed that you consider striking about the way the women of rote are written (be it positive or negative!) feel free to

so far i've got an outline of touching upon:

1. an overview of the ways in which different countries treat women - e.g. the six duchies being more inclusive than the cursed shores, the contrast between the violent patriarchy of chalced and the stern matriarchy of the outislands

2. sex and sexuality - this one is complicated. i have a lot to say, about molly representing the ideal woman wife and mother, about how the female characters who tend to sleep around are painted as either misguided victims of former sexual abuse (althea, starling) or just flat out written in a way that is so Vindictive (also starling, and jerd) as if hobb's catholicism doesn't know how else to handle those characters apart from turning them into rude, annoying, unreasonable people who the reader is urged to dislike

3. motherhood, the good the bad and the ugly of it. women long for children. they suffer through miscarriages (kettricken, malta), they are blamed for not being able to bear children (alise, patience) - but at the end of the day, children are always in the picture one way or another. apart from, off the top of my head - alise, jek and serilla, almost every other woman ends up a mother (i'm counting patience as a mom!) which isn't a problem on its own, but. when characters who speak openly about not wanting a typical family and who aren't pleased about having children become mothers anyway (althea). when women who have been infertile most of their life become mothers anyway (starling). when even the sidest of side characters Have to become mothers (laurel, jerd) then really, it makes you pause for a bit

4. rape. i don't have a bone to pick with how hobb approaches sexual assault, per se, because the way she feels about it is very clear, but still. god. althea, malta, serilla, thymara, alise, shine, etta, starling, chassim. and the difference between hobb's male and female victims of rape seems to be that the male counterparts always suffer off-page, while you most often have to look the women's abuse straight in the eyes as the reader. i have yet to sit down and really Think about why that is but i'm sure there's a conclusion to be reached

5. gender in general - i have an inkling that hobb views gender as a performance (which, i mean, yeah) or as a role one can step in and out of (think ash/spark) but assfate era beloved is particulary fascinating when it comes to this. i can't quite pick apart whether it's hobb or fitz's urge to constantly compartmentalize beloved's existence but every scene where amber takes her makeup off and changes into a pair of pants and the pronouns immediately switch back to he/him is so hilarious. is woman when makeup and skirt and dress? and man when pants? something to be said about this for sure

i think that's most of what i have on my mind so far?? i've spent so much of my free time thinking about this i'm glad i get to turn it into something useful

[nadas-dirthalen]

I don't think I can ever forgive Solas personally for the way he used Varric's death as a manipulation tool against Rook. As someone who experienced the recent loss of a loved one in my life, realizing what he did to Rook and imagining someone taking away my autonomy to grieve and accept the loss makes me feel so disgust toward him. And to use the image of Varric, someone who was always protective and loyal to his friends? It angers me more, as it feel like such a disrespect act for Solas to do with Varric's image, especially as Solas was arguably once one of his friends. I still question if Solas ever understood what it meant to be alive as a mortal or if he was so caught up in continuing to see himself as some spirit of Wisdom, he denied how he had changed or that life is not as simple/much more vastly different than his once pure Spirit self believed. If he did, would he have treated Varric's death as a tool to use against Rook in the same callous way he did?

Absolutely love Solas' role as Veilguard's antagonist and how it provokes so many emotions and debates on his actions and how to deal with him. Hating his former colleagues is easy, they're batcrap insane and power hungry, but Solas? His actions hurt so much more than anything those two could ever do because we know him in Inquisition; we know, as flawed as he was, he was capable of good, and yet ends up taking actions similar to that of the people he once fought against. But yeah, even though I had the tools for the arguably 'good' ending, there's a reason I chose to fight him and force him into the Veil: He just lost a lot of my sympathy for what he did and I didn't think he deserved a gentle sending off, harsh as it may sound.

Hello anon!! First off, let me say this: you're totally valid to feel as you do about Solas, and even though I don't share your opinion of him, I definitely had a moment of, "Oh god, that was reprehensible."

I think the difference, here, is that my Rook was feeling the feelings you're describing. My Rook would have a hard time wanting to redeem Solas, and only did so for the sake of my Inquisitor.

But the longer I went on after playing Veilguard, the more I realized... that was intentional. That was the point BioWare was making in the third act of Veilguard, and they did it beautifully.

We're supposed to hate him. Let me explain.

We all know what Solas did in the end of Veilguard, and what we find out he's been doing from the very beginning with Varric. What I want to talk about is Solas' conversation with the Inquisitor in Trespasser.

PC: You said that the elven gods went too far. What did they do that made you move against them? Solas: They killed Mythal. (Chuckles.) A crime for which an eternity of torment is the only fitting punishment.

We find out in Veilguard that everything Solas has done, no matter how awful, no matter how violent, has been to bring back the world that Mythal knew before she was killed by the other Evanuris. The one where she was whole. Where Solas, in his mind, had not yet failed her.

Whether or not his actions are good for Thedas (and in most cases, they aren't), Solas does them anyway, consumed by his grief and his need to avenge Mythal. He doesn't think through the creation of the Veil. We see this in a note from Felassan to Solas that is found (I believe) in the Crossroads. He does it anyway, even though even the companions notice that the process hurts him. Badly.

We know, as players, that redeeming Solas leads to him vowing to help soothe the anger of the titans. He works toward his atonement. It is extremely important and powerful that there are many people out there who, knowing this, choose to fight Solas anyway.

Solas also knows, logically, that the world will burn if he takes down the Veil. That doesn't matter to him. What matters is his grief.

We know that, logically, Thedas is worse off if Solas is fought into Fade Jail rather than convinced to go of his own volition by redeeming him. To some players, that doesn't matter. What matters is their grief, like you're saying here.

"An eternity of torment is the only fitting punishment."

In this way, Rook becomes Solas. By choosing to fight him rather than swallowing down their own feelings and pain for the greater good, Rook perpetuates the cycle of violence—for better or worse. And here's the thing: you are justified in this. Your Rook is justified in this. That's why, I think, Solas is written the way he is in Veilguard. BioWare wanted to show that those people who hate Solas have ample reason to do so. They wanted to show what Solas is like with people he doesn't value—and Rook is one such person in act 1 of the story, when he chooses to do blood magic on them.

Redeeming him means Rook taking a chance on Solas' redemption despite the pain he's caused, even if he doesn't deserve it, for the chance at Solas becoming something better. This shows what I think is true of the cycle of violence: that sometimes, it is a deeply uncomfortable and counterintuitive process. But sometimes, that is the only way a cycle of violence is stopped, for better or worse. We acknowledge the pain caused by those who hurt us, but refuse to inflict the same pain upon others, no matter how much pain we feel. It is deeply uncomfortable and counter-intuitive, but sometimes walking away from a situation is all we can do. (and of course I do not believe this is the right course of action in all situations, but Solas is a fictional character, and I believe this angle on his story is reasonable and poignant because it is fiction. real life is infinitely more complex, but Solas' arc isn't meant to be an exact representation of real life: it's to mean something.)

This was the last way, I think, that BioWare drew a strong parallel between Solas and the player. During the DAI quest "In Hushed Whispers," they show us that our seeing the alternate timeline as "not real" mirrors how Solas feels about waking up in present-day Thedas after creating the Veil. Now, they show us that his singular desire for revenge is something that is possible for even us, the players, who knows these are all characters made of pixels, to feel.

I think this is why Epler has said he advocated for an ending where you can fight Solas. Not because he hates Solas (I assure you, he does not), but because it is of tremendous importance to Solas' thematic statement that the player can act on their anger, their pain, toward him—because that is what Solas has been doing to Thedas this entire time.

Thank you for sending me this. I hope you know that I think you're valid for wanting to fight Solas, even though that isn't the ending I choose. It's people like you who help make Solas such a fun, interesting character, and who help highlight just how cool he is to me. You can love him, you can hate him, but I have yet to find a person who's 100% neutral on him. And I love that for us.

[turnuptheoldvictrola1183]

Another Essay Incoming: I love this post. I do feel like not enough people who've seen the movie understand the nuance in this scene. Neither Glinda nor Elphaba are absolute anything. The core of this fantastical story filled with political maneuvering, betrayal, and flying monkeys is really just two normal girls whose strengths and shortcomings complement one another and their very real love for each other. It's ordinary, it happens every day. These girls didn't wake up each morning expecting their destinies to be the stuff of a grand tragedy. They were essentially just kids who believed what they had been taught their whole lives, believed their authority figures who told them they had to prove themselves and perform and maintain power structures in order to be seen as worthy and good. The good/bad dichotomy is a lie. They were lied to, and these lies made them both incredibly isolated in their own ways except for their brief period of genuine love and friendship with one another at school. And then, even when the wool was removed from their eyes and the illusion was shattered, the people in power who they were supposed to trust continued to leverage the patterns of isolation these girls had always known to further their own political ambitions.

We cling to the things we know and that feel comfortable to us in times of crisis or disillusionment, and Elphaba and Glinda both exhibit this. Elphaba walked through life always expecting to be seen as ugly, evil, and undeserving of love because of her father's influence on her and her appearance. So, post-Wizard revelation, she leans in. She says "fine, I will no longer seek love. I will make everyone fear me." She's still choosing to perform for these people, to be what they expect her to be, even if she's doing it out of a sense of righteous indignation. And Glinda walked through life always being perceived as beautiful, good, and deserving of praise. She chose to be blissfully ignorant and perform delicate femininity, because she knew that society would accept her most that way. She was likely taught this growing up through her privileged lifestyle; social status was currency, protection, and performing was just what everyone did. So, when her world completely fell apart, she leaned in to the things that protected her. She says "fine, I'll be the ornament to society everyone always wanted me to be, and I'll never try to be more than that ever again. I will be safe that way. It's just a performance. It isn't real."

These girls are just doing what anyone else would do when faced with the kind of trauma and circumstances they were dealt. You cling to normalcy and comfort even when those things are horrific, even when those things actively harm you. That's not to diminish Elphaba's bravery when she decides to stop trying to be seen as worthy in the eyes of morally reprehensible people and take up a cause that's bigger than herself, but it is important to note that neither of these girls were capable of making any choice other than the ones they made. They weren't equipped or supported enough. Both of them want to love, to connect, to learn, to be better people, but the world around them exploited them, abused them, and manipulated them from the time they were conscious. The only time they didn't feel the boot of fascism or the shackles of their own negative social conditioning was that brief time they got to know and love each other. In so doing, they both defied the rules and norms of their society, the society that prioritized obedience over empathy, the society that I'd argue is not so different from our own. To love and be loved is a very brave and defiant thing, indeed.

"The good man scorns the wicked. Through their lives, our children learn what we miss when we misbehave."

"Are people born wicked? Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?"

"Because I knew you, I have been changed for good."

Okay I want to talk about this moment between Morrible and Glinda for a sec because it adds such a wonderfully sinister layer to a scene that is otherwise a triumphant defining moment for Elphaba, and it sets up the dynamics for Part 2 so perfectly.

At this point, we are in the thick of “Defying Gravity.” Everyone’s attention is on Elphaba - and rightfully so, she’s up there declaring war on the Wizard, displaying incredible feats of magic, of course everyone’s attention is on her.

…Everyone, except Morrible.

Morrible has realized that Plan A was a bust, but rather than panicking, she’s already worked over Plans B through Z in her head and has realized that Glinda, not Elphaba, is actually the key figure here. Glinda is actually the best thing that could have happened to them.

Mind you, Morrible hates Glinda. She thinks Glinda is vapid and attention-seeking and completely without talent. It would be extremely easy for her to brand Glinda as an accomplice to Elphaba, have the guards drag her off, imprison her, never have to deal with her again, nice and neat.

Instead, while everyone else is focused on Elphaba, Morrible only has eyes for Glinda. She zeroes in on her, releases her, and comforts her, because she understands what no one else understands, which is that yes, that’s great that the Wizard now has an enemy to unify his people against, but they also need a symbol of hope, something that is the exact antithesis to Elphaba, something to keep everyone at extremes. 

The Wizard himself can’t really be a symbol of hope, because the key to his success is that he remains shrouded in mystery, and yes people think he’s wonderful, but there’s a level of uncertainty and intimidation to him. He is Oz the Great and Terrible, and everyone’s preeeeeetty sure he’s a good guy, but if you have someone like Elphaba out there - who Morrible knows from experience is very smart, very articulate, and has her own sort of magnetism - there’s a potential that she could turn at least enough people against the Wizard to make things very inconvenient.

So what they need, now that they have an enemy, is to have an equally magnetic figurehead representing the Wizard who embodies all these one-dimensional ideas of goodness, someone for the public to adore and fawn over so the association between Wizard and Goodness is crystal clear.

And by bringing Glinda along, Elphaba has unknowingly served that figurehead up on a platter.

Glinda is everything Elphaba isn’t, from personality, to appearance - Morrible has already set Elphaba up by calling her green skin an “outward manifestorium of her twisted nature,” which paves the way for Glinda, who is the perfect conventional beauty, to be an “outward manifestorium” of pure goodness. 

Morrible realizes they need these two lightning rods of Absolute Evil and Absolute Good in order to manipulate people - fear alone isn’t enough; the only way to effectively radicalize the populace is to make sure there is no gray area whatsoever, no room for question: you're either good, or you’re evil. And the Wizard alone isn’t a strong enough representation of “goodness” when by virtue of existing, he has to remain in the shadows. Glinda on the other hand? With her looks and her charm and her openness and her ability to expertly win over a crowd? Perfect for the role.

Now the tricky part for Morrible is taking into consideration that Glinda and Elphaba love each other. But we also know from earlier scenes that Morrible is a master at manipulating emotions. Right from the start when Elphaba is having trouble with her magic, Morrible casually brings up the “Animals should be seen and not heard” disturbance from class, spoon-feeding her just enough to get Elphaba upset, triggering her magic, after which Morrible makes sure to give her assurance and praise to keep Elphaba optimistic about her power.

She’s also aware that Glinda does have quite a bit of influence over Elphaba, because when Elphaba flees, Morrible immediately tasks her with winning her over, rather than simply relying on the guards or even going after Elphaba herself. She knows if anyone has a chance at roping Elphaba back in, it's Glinda.

Obviously, Glinda isn’t successful in getting her back, but while this puts a dent in Morrible’s plans to get control of Elphaba, it does give her an extra weak spot to exploit in Glinda.

So now, at the height of “Defying Gravity” when Elphaba has officially taken her stand against them, Morrible sees Glinda, and Glinda is at her most vulnerable, her most emotionally fragile. Not only is she heartbroken and in shock, she’s also just witnessed in real time exactly how easy it is to turn an entire nation against someone. She’s scared, she’s powerless. She’s just lost the love of her life her only friend, she has no one to turn to - Morrible has definitely picked up on the fact that even though Glinda has countless people who fawn over her, none of them can be considered a true friend except for Elphaba, which means Glinda is completely isolated. Glinda also has a very limited understanding of the bigger picture of what the Wizard is trying to accomplish, and because she’s never been a victim of the system the way Elphaba has, she is still desperately clinging to the idea that everything will be okay as long as she plays by the rules of the people in power.

She has been perfectly primed for Morrible to begin manipulating, not through violence or intimidation, but by offering her comfort when no one else would - when not even Glinda’s only friend would - when no one else is even paying attention to Glinda, because they have the very real and present threat of Elphaba quite literally hanging over them. In this moment, Morrible chooses Glinda, which Glinda has been striving for since the beginning. Elphaba has chosen her principles, the Wizard has chosen his enemy, but Morrible has chosen Glinda, and in this moment of being so alone and so afraid and so betrayed, that makes all the difference.

We also get kind of a parallel shot too - Elphaba really sealed her fate the second her hand closed around the broom. But here, Glinda seals her fate when she gives in and reciprocates Morrible’s hold on her.

THIS is the moment that sets us up for Part 2, with Elphaba and Glinda as our lightning rods for Absolute Evil and Absolute Good, but more to the point, it makes it clear that they’ve BOTH been used, they’ve BOTH played right into these respective roles Morrible and the Wizard need in order to be successful - even if it wasn’t how Morrible originally planned for things to go.

I just love it, because “Defying Gravity” is Elphaba’s song - it’s triumphant, and it’s heartbreaking, and it’s everything a defining moment should be for a character. But by injecting this little moment between Morrible and Glinda into the scene, we also get an underlying current of dread because we know we’re about to see the consequences of Elphaba’s defiance versus Glinda’s compliance and how both serve to benefit the Wizard/Morrible’s propaganda.

TL;DR - when I said "I want to talk about this scene between Morrible and Glinda for a sec" I clearly meant "I'm gonna write a whole essay. Like a nerd."

[witchygagirlwrites]

Consider me Gone-Part 4

Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader x Jay Halstead/ Gerstead x Reader

What's worse? Someone you love being out of your reach? Or them being close yet further away than they've ever been?

After you finally got Mouse and Jay to go home and profusely apologized to Maggie for the intrusion even though she told you multiple times it didn’t bother her and that she understood why they had taken over her porch you were about to attempt sleep when Ethan called you. Crap, you’d forgotten the meeting. “Hey Ethan. I am so sorry I forgot the meeting. Is there one tomorrow or the next night? I really need to get into one but I had a lot going on”

He chuckled lightly “Yeah I came by Maggies to check on you” you groaned “Did they say anything rude to you? Because I swear I will get dressed right now and go kick their asses” he laughed “Easy ranger, they were civil enough. We just talked” “Good” you breathed, feeling your shoulders relax a bit to know they weren’t rude to the one person you had who knew exactly what you’d been through and was in your corner on that. “How ya feeling after seeing them? You have laid eyes on them for what, a week?”

“Yeah. I don’t know… how would you feel if it was April?” “That good huh?” he replied and you laughed lightly “Yeah. The only way I got them to leave is by telling them I would consider talking to them” “If it’s weighing on your mind you need to get it off. You’re carrying enough” he offered and you smiled slightly “Wise words Dr Choi” he spoke away from the phone then said “April said if you need her to call and that she loves you” “Tell her I will and I love her”

After you hung up with Ethan you still couldn’t sleep so you texted Erin Babe, you up? And she replied for you? Always you smiled and texted back Can we meet for breakfast before work? You laid back on the couch and leaned your head back on the pillow as your phone chimed Ok but I’m buying the pretty little trauma nurse her food

After you’d had breakfast with Erin the shadows in your head felt a little less dark. There was something about having someone who’d fallen down into her own hole and dug herself up right at your side that helped. She listened to everything you had to say, offered her opinion and never judged you. 

You had come to a decision so at lunch time you unlocked your phone, ignoring where Mouse had hacked it days before and changed the wallpaper to a photo of you, him and Jay and clicked the group text thread. There were dozens of texts from both of them, some you’d read others you’d just swiped so the new message alert would go away. 

You took a deep breath and typed You know that diner down from the precinct? Within seconds messages from them both popped up M:Yeah?  J:Yeah?  You hesitated before replying My shift ends at 6. I’ll meet you there at 6:30 ao we can talk you didn’t wait to see their answers right then you just locked your phone and slid it into your scrub pocket then heard Crocket call your name so happily you had an excuse to fall right back into work. 

BORDER

Jay and Mouse both sat staring at their phones. “I’m reading this right, aren’t I?” Jay asked and Mouse nodded slowly “She wants to talk to us” the only question was what did you want to talk about? “Is she telling us to stay away from her for good?” Mouse asked quietly and Jay shrugged “Your guess is as good as mine. The only person here that would know would be Erin. Hell I heard her telling Al she met her for breakfast. Not like she’s telling us anything though”

“Can you blame any of them for choosing her over us?” Mouse asked, cutting his eyes at him. Jay shook his head “No, I didn’t mean to ever make her think what she went through didn’t matter. How do you think I feel every time I see her without a shirt and know those scars are there because she chose to pull me out?” “How do you think I feel, especially knowing she came here looking for comfort after having a panic attack because of my OD?” Mouse questioned and both men fell silent.

Jay stood up and slapped his leg “C’mon. We got work to do. Sitting here wondering isn’t going to change what she plans to tell us” Mouse nodded, standing up and following Jay out of the tech room and upstairs.

When you finally sat down in your car you pulled out your phone to check the text thread J:We’ll meet you there baby  M:We’ll be waiting sweetheart you shook your head at the names. Yeah this was going to be interesting to say the least but you had to take this step, especially after their performance at Maggies. You were not about to inconvenience your friends like that, not when your name was still on that damn mortgage.

________________

You spotted Jay’s truck and parked next to it. You almost checked your reflection in the mirror then remembered it didn’t really matter. You climbed out of the car and headed for the door. The moment you stepped inside you spotted the two of them. They were sitting in a booth in the corner and their eyes locked onto yours. Same as that day you were introduced to the unit. Sky blue eyes and seafoam blue staring you down. 

You took a deep breath and walked towards them. They both stood up when you got closer but you shook your head “Just sit down. Damn” a slight smile slipped onto both of their faces as they sat down. The moment you were across from them the waitress brought over coffee. You raised an eyebrow and Mouse shrugged “I thought you may need some after a shift” 

“Thank you” you spoke low before making the coffee to your taste. You took a sip before finally raising your eyes to meet theirs. “Do you know how bad that pissed me off, you coming to Maggies like that? Not only did you intrude on my privacy but you intruded on hers and you used CPD equipment to do so”

They dropped their gaze to the table but didn’t reply beyond that. “How am I supposed to stay anywhere when I know you two could show up at any given moment and refuse to leave?”

They didn’t raise their gaze so you knocked on the table “Hey, that wasn’t a rhetorical question. What the fuck am I supposed to do?” “Baby we didn’t know what else to do” Jay offered and Mouse met your eyes “Sweetheart just come home”

You swallowed hard “That’s what I’m here to talk to you about” you saw their eyes light up so you shook your head “Don’t do that. I’m not moving back in. My name is still on the mortgage, along with Jay’s. I’m going to come back and sleep in the guest bedroom until Jay can get the mortgage switched over completely in his name and at that time I can try to get a loan to get my own place then”

Mouse blinked fast a few times and you looked away because you knew he was trying to not cry. You couldn’t let him break your heart. You loved him and Jay so damn much but if they couldn’t meet you halfway, if you weren’t indeed the answer to their hearts then why stick around? You were in a battle with your own head half your days as is, all three of you were. Why be in a relationship that only one of you was in with both feet? 

“So we’re supposed to let the love of our lives sleep in the guest room and I’m supposed to go get your name off the mortgage so you can walk away from us?” Jay asked and anger flickered to life in your stomach as your eyes flew to his. 

Both of you had unshed tears shining in your eyes but your tempers were luckily winning out at the moment “Do you love me Jay? Really, do either of you actually love me? Or do you love the woman who has consistently saved your lives from the moment she met you? The one who ran into firefights to ensure you were ok. The one who disobeyed direct orders to get you two out of that humvee. The one who ran after you while you were fucking everything you could get your dick in to try to feel something just to make sure you weren’t getting yourself killed. The woman who dragged herself off a fucking cliffside in Tennesse when she could’ve ended her fucking pain to come home to Chicago to help yours? The woman who went in a window to find Greg half dead on the floor and didn’t care that he threw up all over her only winter coat? The woman who has put you two back together time and again? Do you fucking love me or do you love being saved?”

“We love you” they spoke in unison, voices low. You nodded slowly “Then do this and prove it. Give me a roof over my head until I can provide myself one. That’s all I ask of you” 

Jay nodded first “Ok” Mouse dropped his gaze to his hands “Ok” you nodded “Ok. Now, can we leave? I’m not hungry and I don’t want to be in public”

“Of course” Jay spoke and you looked from him to Mouse, gaze lingering on Mouse. You’d held him in your lap begging him to stay awake, stay breathing. He had Jay, he’d make sure he stayed ok. 

“When we get there, I’m just there. I don’t want to talk. I don’t need anything from either of you. Act like I don’t exist” Mouse raised his eyes to you and you could see the tears in them “How are we supposed to have you there and act like you’re not?” you shrugged “It’s that or I have nowhere else to go” 

He shook his head then cut his eyes at Jay. They shared a long look before Mouse nodded “Ok”

“So we just act like she’s not there?” Mouse asked as Jay’s truck followed your tail lights in the direction of your place. “What other option do we have Greg? It’s that or she’s couch surfing or worse. Do you want her to leave Chicago?”

“Of course I don’t but can you really tell me it’s gonna be a walk in the park for her to be there and not have any reaction to her?” Mouse asked and Jay shook his head “She’s coming home. She’ll come around and talk to us” “And if she doesn’t?” Mouse pushed but Jay just shook his head again “She will”

_______________

You parked your car next to Jay’s truck and climbed out to get your duffle bag out of the trunk. Jay took a step towards you and you knew he meant to carry it but you shook your head. He stepped back and nodded. You hoisted it over your shoulder and walked up to the door. Mouse walked up next to you and simply held a key out “I’ll get your key out of the drawer in the kitchen later” 

“Thank you” you whispered before unlocking the door and pushing it open. You could feel their presence behind you and tears started to threaten your eyes. You shook your head and walked straight for the guest room without another glance backwards. If you looked and saw their faces, how broken you knew they looked..there was a chance you’d give in and if they couldn’t prove that they actually loved YOU not just their savior then you didn’t need to be there. Your energy could only last so far burning it off.

 You closed the door and locked it behind you. The lock wasn’t for them. No matter what you trusted those two men with your life. The lock was to give yourself those few extra seconds worth of thought.

____________

Jay and Mouse stood in the center of the living room staring at the guest bedroom. “How do we prove that we love her?” Jay asked, your words echoing in his mind. You thought they didn’t love you. You thought that they only loved that you always saved them. The memories of you fighting some woman he’d taken to bed because her husband had beat his ass when he’d caught him drunk flashed through his mind along with that damned cliff..that cliff that almost took you from them..the darkest time for you. They had to prove it to you.

Mouse remained quiet, memories of you arguing with your C.O. The day of the convoy flashed through his mind because he’d still been semi conscious. How you’d told them they were welcomed to court marshal you but you were saving your boys first. The pain in your eyes when he’d woke up in your lap, how he’d apologized for throwing up on you but you’d shook your head and told him “No, I want you to get that crap out of you”

You thought that they didn’t love you, that they only loved you for what you’d done for them and that crushed him along with the memories of that fucking cliff..they came so close to losing you.

“We don’t give up on her like she’s never given up on us” Mouse answered finally after a moment and Jay nodded.

___________________

Jay and Mouse had dozed off somewhere around midnight when the sound of your scream broke through the silence in the apartment. Both men were on their feet and moving without having to say a word to each other. They scanned the living room, front door, guest bedroom door. Did someone come in your window?

They moved towards it and Jay reared back to kick the door in when you made another low pitched whining sound. “Jay, wait!” Mouse stopped him. “She’s hurt!” Jay argued and Mouse nodded towards the door “Listen” they pushed their ears to the door and listened “No no no…please…fucking breathe! Breathe dammit!”

“It’s a nightmare” Mouse spoke low, shoulders dropping as realization sat in at just how bad things were getting for you again. Jay wiped a hand across his face “Should we try to wake her up?” it was breaking both of them to hear you sobbing in your sleep and being helpless. “Let’s go back to sleep out here so if she happens to wake up and decide she wants to talk” Mouse offered and Jay nodded “Good idea”

You were used to not sleeping by this point because even when you slept you didn’t rest. You got up and dug around in your duffle to separate clean and dirty. You would do a load of laundry when the guys left for work, you had a night shift so you could go buy your own detergent and all later. 

You needed a shower. You gathered a bundle of clothes and opened the door. You did not expect Mouse to be asleep on the floor on one side and Jay to be asleep on the floor on the other side. What the actual hell? Didn’t matter. You needed to shower and either leave before they roused or be about to leave. The less time you were in close quarters with them the better because more than once when you woke up the night before, knowing they were that close you wanted them.

__________________

Mouse woke up when the hall bathroom door clicked shut. He glanced up and saw the guest bedroom door was cracked open. Ok, you were awake. He stood up, stretching as he did so and nudged Jay with his foot on the way to the kitchen “Wake up man”

Jay flinched awake “What?” Mouse nodded towards the hall bathroom “She’s up” Jay wiped hand along his face and nodded “You making coffee?” Mouse waved towards the coffee maker in front of him “No, I’m making waffles. What’s it look like” “Smartass” Jay grumbled.

_________________

You stepped out of the shower and could hear Jay and Mouse’s voices coming from the kitchen. Your eyes closed for a moment. Ok, you were ok. You quickly dried off and got dressed. You could do this. Head held high. You put the towel in the hamper, it was the only one in it since this bathroom was rarely used.

You stepped into the hall and could feel their eyes on you. You walked towards the guest bedroom. “Morning” Jay spoke first and you didn’t respond. You’d meant it when you asked them to not speak to you. “Want some coffee?” Mouse asked and you walked into the guest room, closing the door behind yourself. 

You grabbed your keys and purse and slipped your shoes on before walking back out. You didn’t look their way as you walked out the door. You had to keep walking. 

_______________

“We’re losing her more and more each day. You realize that, don’t you?” Mouse asked and Jay spun to face him “Dammit Greg, I know ok! I know. I fucked up thinking she was just angry. Do you honestly think this isn’t killing me too? That hearing her in pain and not being able to hold her for the first time in years isn’t ripping my heart out?”

Mouse felt his shoulder sag, he hadn’t meant to snap at Jay. They were both hurting, scared of losing you.  “She wouldn’t even look at us” he whispered and Jay nodded “I know, believe me I know” 

_____________

You managed to make it far enough down the block you knew neither of them would see you before you had to pull over and park. The tears were blurring your vision a little too much. You were exhausted. The only time you could focus was when you were at work. It gave you a purpose, someone to help. You hadn’t even realized you’d fallen back into that pattern yet here you were. A hull of yourself. For years it was you, Jay and Mouse. One stumbles and the other two pick them up but now you questioned everything. You felt alone, alienated. 

You leaned your head over on the steering wheel and sobbed. Your hands shook as you reached for the phone and hit Ethan’s number. He answered on the second ring “Hey” “When’s the closest meeting?” “Let me make a call. Where are you?” he asked and you swallowed hard “Just call me back, ok?”

You hung up and dropped the phone into your lap. You wanted Jay. You wanted Mouse. You wanted them to wrap their arms around you and convince you that you weren’t broken, that you weren’t a waste but now you even doubted their feelings on that.

@desimarie12

@alterna123

@fifitheragertot

@allisonargent144

[sherewrytes]

Love and Gunshots, Eren x Black Reader

Gang member Eren x Introvert black reader

Summary: In a dangerous urban landscape, y/n, an introverted Criminal Law student, finds herself drawn into the violent world of the Sixx Gang through her protective cousin, Onyankopon. When she locks eyes with Eren Yeager, a hot-headed gang member, a twisted game of desire and danger begins.

As Eren becomes obsessed with y/n, he threatens to unravel the fragile balance Ony has maintained to shield her from their brutal lifestyle. With loyalty tested and violence lurking at every turn, the lines between love and danger blur, leading to a dark climax where the heart proves just as lethal as a gun.

Genre: Dark Romance/Crime Modern au

Warnings: Graphic violence, drug use, smut, obsession

Previous

Chapter 8: Breaking point

I felt numb as Erwin led me out of the room, away from the chaos. My mind was racing, still trying to process everything I had just witnessed. The last few hours felt like a blur—one moment I was dealing with the shock of seeing Eren and Ony so close to killing each other, and the next, I was being dragged into a hell I never signed up for.

I glanced over at Erwin, who kept a steady pace, his presence calming despite everything around us. The weight of the situation settled deeper into my chest as I realized how much danger I was in, how much I had been pulled into this world of violence, drugs, and lies.

Erwin stopped outside the door of the warehouse, looking back toward me. His eyes softened slightly as he spoke. "You’re safe for now, Yn. I need you to stay away from this mess. For your own good."

I swallowed hard, the words not reaching me fully. Safe? How could I feel safe when I knew my life was tangled up with these people? When I knew what was happening back inside, what might be happening to Ony, to Eren... to me?

"I don’t belong here," I whispered, more to myself than to Erwin. "None of this is my fight."

Erwin gave me a look, his lips pulling into a tight line. "It’s not your fight, but it’s been made yours. Now, you need to be smart. Don’t let yourself get dragged deeper than you already are."

I nodded, though I wasn’t sure if I could keep that promise. The pull of this world, of Eren and Ony, felt like a gravitational force I couldn’t resist, no matter how hard I tried. But I had to try.

Erwin sighed, looking around cautiously before turning back to me. "I’ll take you home, but you stay low. Don’t reach out to them. Not now."

I opened my mouth to say something but stopped myself. What was there to say? That I was scared? That I didn’t know how to escape? Instead, I just nodded again, more to him than anyone else. I had no other choice.

As Erwin started the car and we pulled away from the warehouse, I glanced at my phone, a mix of texts from Ony, from Eren, from people I didn’t even know. And yet, none of them mattered as much as what was happening right now. How much farther could I go before it all shattered?

And then the thought hit me: What would happen if I did choose a side? Would it save me or destroy me?

When the car pulled up to my house, my heart sank as I saw my mom and aunt standing by the door, their expressions serious. But it was the figure beside them that made my stomach drop—my father. I hadn't seen him in years, and the last time I did, things were far from good between us.

I stepped out of the car, still in shock. "What is he doing here?" I muttered to myself, though the question was clear. I didn't expect him to be a part of this situation, especially not after all this time.

My mom looked at me, her face strained with worry. "Yn, your father wants to talk to you. We... we need to figure out what’s going on. This situation is dangerous, and—"

"You really think I want to be involved in this?!" I cut her off, the frustration bubbling over. "I didn't ask for any of this! I don't need his help now!"

My father stepped forward, his face hardened but there was a glimmer of something in his eyes—concern? Guilt? I couldn’t tell. "Yn, we need to talk. About everything," he said, his voice low but firm.

I took a step back, shaking my head. I hadn’t prepared for this. Not today. Not with everything that had happened, with the chaos, the violence, the lies. "What’s there to talk about?" I shot back. "You’ve been gone for years. You don’t get to come back now and act like everything’s fine."

My father’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he glanced at my mom and aunt, as if silently asking for permission to continue. My aunt was quiet, her eyes scanning me with a mix of sympathy and concern, while my mom stood by, wringing her hands nervously.

I wasn’t sure how to feel anymore. The weight of the past few hours, the violence I had seen, the decisions that had been made without my consent—it was all crashing down on me. And now, my father... He couldn’t fix this. He couldn’t make it go away.

“I’m not part of this world, Dad,” I finally said, my voice breaking. "I don’t know what you think you’re here to fix, but I’m not going back to any of it."

My father opened his mouth to respond, but the words caught in his throat. I could see the frustration in his eyes, but there was something else there, too. Regret, maybe. But it didn’t matter now. He wasn’t going to be able to change anything, not when everything had already spiraled so far out of control.

I turned away from him, walking inside, hoping the distance would help me clear my head

"My dad glanced at me, his face unreadable, before asking, 'Is Levi running shit?'

I froze at the mention of Levi's name, my heart skipping a beat as my dad described him in that all-too-familiar way. It was like the world had shifted again. "Excuse me?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. My dad's eyes narrowed at me, his tone stern.

"Short guy, white, temper—shorter than he is..." My father continued, his gaze flicking to the car still parked outside.

My mother, who had been standing in the background, sighed in resignation. "Yes, that’s the man who was here earlier," she said, sounding almost defeated.

I turned to look at my mom, then back at the car, and that’s when I saw it. Erwin. He’d opened the door and stepped out, strolling over to my dad like it was no big deal. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my mind was racing. This was impossible.

"Erwin, get yuh mother cunt out here, man." My dad’s words were harsh, but there was something about the way he spoke that made me feel like I was missing a huge part of this story.

Erwin didn’t even seem phased. He just walked up to my dad like they were old friends, a casual smile on his face. "Reggie, what’s good?" he said as if it were any other day.

This was a nightmare. I couldn’t process it. I had known Erwin for years, sure. But him being connected to my dad, to them, this—this was a whole different level. My world felt like it was turning upside down, and I couldn’t breathe for a second.

What the hell was going on here?

I stood there, completely frozen, unable to speak, as I watched my dad and Erwin interact. The realization slowly dawned on me: this wasn’t just some random group of criminals I had gotten involved with. It was bigger. So much bigger. My father knew them—had worked with them. Erwin knew my father. I was in deeper than I’d ever realized, and I had no idea what to do next.

Was I even safe anymore?

I stood there, rooted to the spot, unable to believe what was unfolding before me. My dad and Erwin talked like old friends catching up after years apart, completely ignoring the turmoil brewing inside me.

Erwin reached into his pocket, pulled out a joint, and passed it to my dad like it was a regular Sunday afternoon. "Like old times," Erwin said with a smirk.

My dad took it without hesitation, lighting it up and taking a long drag. The way they were so casual about it all made my stomach churn. How could he sit here and act like this when my life was spiraling out of control?

"So, what’s the deal with Ony?" my dad asked, exhaling a cloud of smoke. "I hear his name mixed up in this mess."

Erwin raised an eyebrow, leaning back against the car. "What’s the deal with Jarmark?" he shot back.

My dad rolled his eyes, his tone heavy with frustration. "He’s in jail, Erwin. You know this."

Erwin’s gaze shifted to me, and my heart sank. The look he gave me wasn’t cruel, but it wasn’t comforting, either. It was assessing, like he was trying to figure out what I’d do next. "Reggie," Erwin started, turning back to my dad, "she’s on Levi’s radar. And you know he’s crazy as fuck."

That statement hit like a sledgehammer. I clenched my fists, fighting the wave of panic threatening to take over.

"On Levi’s radar?" my dad repeated, his face darkening. He looked at me then, his eyes narrowing as if seeing me in a new light. "What the hell did you get yourself into, girl?"

I opened my mouth to respond but couldn’t find the words. How was I supposed to explain? That I hadn’t gotten into anything? That it was all Eren? That I was just trying to live my life, but these men kept pulling me into their chaos? My dad wouldn’t care. To him, it wouldn’t matter how it happened, only that it had.

"Don’t look at her like that," Erwin said, flicking ash from his joint. "This ain’t her fault. Blame your nephew and that stubborn-ass Jaeger kid for dragging her into this."

"Jaeger?" my dad muttered, his tone dripping with disdain. He shook his head and took another drag. "I should’ve known. Levi’s favorite little psychopath."

"Exactly," Erwin replied. "And now she’s in the middle of it. Levi’s been watching her like a hawk. You know how he gets when he sets his sights on something."

My dad cursed under his breath, pacing in front of the house. He stopped abruptly, pointing at Erwin. "You tell Levi to back off. That’s my daughter, and I won’t let him use her to settle his shit."

Erwin shrugged, his expression neutral. "You think I control Levi? If I could stop him from being Levi, the world would be a better place."

I couldn’t hold back anymore. "What does he want from me?" I snapped, my voice shaking. "Why can’t you all just leave me alone?"

Both men turned to me, my dad looking surprised while Erwin simply raised an eyebrow. My dad stepped closer, his tone softening slightly. "You’re mixed up in something bigger than you know, baby girl. I’ll fix this. Don’t worry."

His words were meant to be reassuring, but they felt like a lie. How could he fix this when he was part of the same world that was tearing my life apart?

My mom’s voice cut through the tension like a razor. "How exactly do you plan on fixing this, Reggie?" she asked, arms crossed, her glare sharp enough to cut steel.

My dad sighed, rolling his eyes in irritation. "I told you to keep her out of this neighborhood," he shot back. "You didn’t listen, and now I gotta clean up a mess I didn’t even start."

"Don’t you dare put this on me!" my mom snapped, stepping forward. "You’ve been absent for years, and now you wanna play the blame game? No, Reggie. This is on you, too."

They locked eyes, and for a moment, the world seemed to shrink around their argument. I wanted to disappear, to pretend I wasn’t standing there listening to my parents argue over my life as if I wasn’t even present.

Erwin, leaning casually against the car, watched the exchange with a bemused expression. My dad turned to him abruptly, his frustration spilling over. "Where the fuck is Ony’s ass, anyway?" he demanded.

Erwin shrugged, taking another drag of his joint. "He’s with Levi," he said nonchalantly. "Handling the aftermath of all this bullshit."

My dad frowned, his jaw tightening. "Handling it how? What’s that short bastard doing to him?"

Erwin smirked, but there was no humor in it. "What Levi always does—making sure no one steps out of line again. Ony’s in it deep, Reggie. You might wanna have a word with your nephew before Levi does something permanent."

I felt my stomach drop at his words. The thought of Ony suffering because of this made my chest ache. Despite everything, Ony had always tried to protect me, even if it meant sacrificing his own peace.

"You better not let Levi go too far," my dad warned, pointing a finger at Erwin. "That boy may be my nephew, but he’s still blood. I won’t let Levi take things too far."

Erwin chuckled darkly, shaking his head. "You don’t let Levi do anything, Reggie. You know that better than anyone. The best thing you can do is stay out of his way and hope he doesn’t decide Ony’s too much of a liability."

My mom gasped, her hand flying to her chest. "Reggie, do something! You can’t just let this happen."

"I’m working on it," my dad snapped, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Damn, woman, give me a minute to think!"

I wanted to scream at all of them, to tell them to stop talking about me and Ony like we were chess pieces in their game. But I stayed silent, my heart pounding as I tried to process everything.

Erwin finally stood up straight, tossing the joint onto the ground and stomping it out with his boot. "If you’re serious about fixing this, Reggie, you better move fast. Levi’s patience is already razor-thin."

He glanced at me, his gaze softening just slightly. "You might wanna stay out of sight for a while, kid. Things are gonna get uglier before they get better."

With that, he turned and walked back to the car, leaving me standing there with my parents and a thousand questions swirling in my head.

Ony’s mom started pacing the yard, her hands wringing as she muttered under her breath. “My son... turning out just like his father,” she said, her voice trembling. “I thought I raised him better. I thought—”

“Stop it,” my dad, Reggie, cut her off, his tone sharp. “This ain’t the time for this.” He turned to me, his intense gaze pinning me in place. “Tell me, Y/N. Why? How the hell did you even meet this boy, Eren?”

I froze, feeling the weight of everyone’s eyes on me. My dad stepped closer, his voice quieter but no less commanding. “Answer me. How’d you meet him?”

I swallowed hard, my throat dry. “It was on the porch... here,” I admitted reluctantly, my voice barely above a whisper.

Reggie’s eyebrows shot up, and he looked at me like I’d just confessed to a crime. “This porch? Right here?”

I nodded. “Yes... I had just come back from class. Ony was out here... smoking with Eren.” I hesitated, unsure if I should continue.

“And?” Reggie pressed, crossing his arms over his chest. “What else?”

I glanced at my mom, who looked as if she wanted to interject but didn’t. I took a deep breath and finished, “They were cleaning guns.”

The yard went deathly silent. My dad’s expression darkened as he took in my words, his jaw clenching. Ony’s mom froze mid-step, her hands flying to her head. “Cleaning guns?!” she shrieked. “In front of my house?!”

Reggie held up a hand to stop her, his eyes never leaving mine. “So you saw him, what? Thought he was charming? Thought he was a nice guy?” His voice was dripping with disbelief.

“I didn’t think anything at first!” I shot back, my frustration bubbling to the surface. “He was just... there. I didn’t know who he was or what he was about. Ony introduced us, and that was it.”

Reggie let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “That was it, huh? That was enough for you to get mixed up in all this shit?”

“It’s not like I asked for this!” I snapped, my voice rising. “I didn’t ask for any of this, Dad! I didn’t ask to be dragged into your world or Ony’s world or Eren’s world. I just... I just wanted to come home from school, and then—”

“And then you made a choice,” Reggie interrupted, his voice hard. “You chose to let him into your life. You chose to let him pull you into this mess.”

Tears stung my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. “I didn’t know it would be like this,” I said quietly.

Reggie sighed, running a hand down his face. “Of course, you didn’t. None of you kids ever do. And now look at where we’re at. Ony’s in Levi’s crosshairs, Eren’s a damn loose cannon, and you’re... you’re caught in the middle of it all.”

My mom finally spoke up, her voice trembling. “Reggie, stop blaming her. She’s just a girl. She didn’t know—”

“She should’ve known better!” Reggie snapped, cutting her off. “But now it’s too late for that. The question is, how the hell are we gonna get her out of this?”

Reggie paced the yard, his frustration radiating off him in waves. He turned back to me, his finger pointed like a dagger. “You might live in the hood, Y/N, but you ain’t from it. Do you even know what kind of shit the 6ixx gang is up to? Do you even know where all this started?”

I stared at him, unsure how to answer. His words stung because they were true. I didn’t know the depths of it all—only fragments, bits and pieces from overheard conversations and Ony’s cryptic warnings.

Reggie tilted his head back, letting out a bitter laugh toward the night sky. “Lord Father, help me here tonight,” he muttered under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath before looking back at me. “You think this is some petty beef, Y/N? Some schoolyard bullshit that’ll blow over? You’re playing with fire, girl. And the worst part is, you don’t even know how hot it burns.”

“Dad, I—”

“No,” he interrupted sharply. “You don’t get to talk. Not yet. Let me tell you what you’re tangled up in.” He gestured wildly toward the street, the porch, everything. “This ain’t just about Eren or Ony or whatever little drama you think this is. The 6ixx gang? They’re in deep—drugs, guns, money laundering, you name it. They don’t play fair, and they don’t forgive.”

I swallowed hard, my stomach twisting. The weight of his words settled on my chest like a brick.

Reggie continued, his voice rising. “And you? You’re just some college girl to them. You’re a pawn. A pretty little pawn they’ll use to get what they want. Do you understand that? They don’t care about you, Y/N. Not like I do. Not like your mom does.”

I glanced at my mom, who was standing silently to the side, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. Her face was pale, her lips pressed into a thin line.

“Reggie,” she started softly, but he wasn’t done.

“No, don’t ‘Reggie’ me,” he snapped, turning back to her before focusing on me again. “You think Levi gives a damn about your degree? About your future? He’ll chew you up and spit you out, just like he’s done with everyone else who’s crossed him. And Eren? He’s no better.”

I flinched at his harsh tone, tears prickling at my eyes again. “I didn’t ask for this,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “I didn’t ask for any of this.”

“But you’re in it now,” Reggie shot back. “And you need to understand what’s at stake. This ain’t just about you anymore, Y/N. It’s about your family, your future—everything.”

The silence that followed was deafening.

Eren's pov 

I was exhausted, every part of my body aching from the endless assault. The pain was sharp, brutal, but it didn’t matter. None of it mattered anymore. All I could think about was Y/N—her face, her voice, her refusal to choose between me and anyone else. She was the only thing that kept me grounded in the chaos.

I stole a glance at Ony. He looked just as defeated as I felt. His shoulders were slumped, his eyes empty, like the fight had drained him of everything. I could feel his pain, the weight of everything that had led to this point. And then there was his mom—her reaction had hit me harder than I expected. The way she slapped him, the way she let him go so easily. She had always treated him like the problem, like he was the one who’d brought all this mess into their lives.

I didn’t get it. Ony was just trying to protect what was his, just like me. And yet, here we were, being punished for things that weren’t entirely our fault. I hated how she treated him, hated how she kept pushing him away when all he was trying to do was survive. The look in his eyes when she slapped him—it was a mixture of hurt and resignation. He wasn’t going to fight her anymore. But I wasn’t like him. I couldn’t let go. Not yet.

As I stared at him, I started to understand a little more of what drove him, what drove me. We were both stuck in this endless cycle, bound by loyalty, by love, by the need to control something in a world that constantly felt like it was slipping away. And Y/N... Y/N was that thing for me. She was my reason to keep fighting, even when everything else was falling apart.

Levi had been right about one thing—if she wasn’t part of my world, I’d have nothing left. But I couldn’t let that happen. Not with her. Not when I knew she was the only thing that could give me a sense of peace, even if it was fleeting.

The room was silent except for the occasional grunt or mutter. My head was pounding, but I couldn’t shake the thought that everything was spiraling. Levi had pushed me to my limit, and I had barely managed to hold onto my sanity.

I looked over at him, leaning against the wall with that smirk plastered on his face, like this was all a game. And maybe to him it was. But not to me. Not to Ony.

And especially not to Y/N. She deserved better than this mess. She deserved peace.

But I wasn’t sure I could give her that anymore. Not with how things were going.

Levi’s smug face made my blood boil, but I stayed quiet. I didn’t have the energy to snap back at him anymore, not when my body was already broken and my mind felt like it was teetering on the edge. I glanced at Ony again, his head hanging low. His silence was unnerving, and it made me wonder if he was giving up entirely.

But giving up wasn’t in me. Not yet. Not while Y/N was still out there, dragged into all this chaos because of me. Levi might’ve been trying to make a point, but I wasn’t about to let him win. Not when it came to her.

Levi finally stood straight, brushing imaginary dust off his pants. “Well, this has been fun, but I think you two have had enough for today.” He turned to Reiner and Jean. “Get them cleaned up and back to their places. We’ve got bigger shit to deal with tomorrow.”

Reiner gave a curt nod and moved to grab me, but I pulled away, struggling to my feet. My legs felt like they were about to give out, but I wasn’t going to let them see me weak. Not now. Not ever.

Ony slowly stood too, his movements stiff and deliberate. He didn’t even look at me as Reiner helped him walk toward the door. I could feel the tension between us, thick and suffocating. We were both pissed—at Levi, at the situation, at each other. But there was something unspoken in the air, a shared understanding that neither of us wanted to acknowledge.

As Jean shoved me forward, I couldn’t help but think about what Levi had said earlier—about Y/N being the source of all this chaos. It wasn’t true, not entirely. This wasn’t her fault. It was mine. I brought her into this world, made her a part of something she never asked to be part of. And now, she was paying the price for it.

When we got outside, the cool air hit me like a slap to the face. It felt like freedom, even if it was temporary. I looked up at the night sky, the stars barely visible through the city’s haze. For a moment, I let myself breathe, let myself feel the weight of everything that had happened.

Jean shoved me again, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Keep moving, Yeager. You’re lucky Levi didn’t put a bullet in you tonight.”

I didn’t respond. What was there to say? He was right. I was lucky. But luck wouldn’t last forever.

As we approached the cars, I caught sight of my reflection in the side mirror of Reiner’s jeep. The bruises, the dried blood, the swelling—it all stared back at me, a painful reminder of how far I’d fallen. My face didn’t even look like mine anymore, just a mess of pain and regret.

I stopped in my tracks for a moment, unable to tear my eyes away. The person staring back at me wasn’t the Eren Yeager I knew. He looked weak, broken, defeated—everything I swore I’d never be. It made my stomach turn, the bitter taste of failure sitting heavy on my tongue.

Jean noticed me lagging and shoved me hard. “Move it, Yeager. You don’t have time to admire yourself.”

I almost snapped at him but caught myself. What was the point? I had no fight left for Jean, for Reiner, for anyone. All I could think about was the reflection, the bruises, the way Levi’s words echoed in my head. You like breaking things, don’t you?

Maybe I did. Maybe I always had. But looking at myself now, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to put the pieces back together. The more I stared, the more the reflection felt like a stranger—someone I didn’t want to know, someone I didn’t want Y/N to see.

Reiner yanked open the jeep door, and Jean shoved me inside. The cold leather pressed against my back, and I leaned into it, closing my eyes to block out the reflection. It didn’t help. It was burned into my mind, just like everything else.

In the silence of the car, I could hear my own breathing, shallow and uneven. My ribs ached with every inhale, my arm throbbed with every beat of my heart, but none of it compared to the weight in my chest. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d already lost everything. And the worst part? It was all my fault.

I glanced at Ony sitting on the curb outside the warehouse, his head hanging low as he toyed with the gravel beneath his feet. He looked like a ghost of himself, a man who’d just been gutted and left to figure out how to piece himself back together. His shoulders were slouched, his usually sharp gaze now dulled, and I could tell the weight of everything that happened was crushing him.

I thought about his mom throwing him out, the slap she’d landed on him echoing in my mind. Sure, he had his own spot, but anyone could see being with his family meant something to him. He carried them in everything he did. It was obvious. Hell, it was probably why he’d even tried so hard to keep Y/N out of this mess in the first place.

For a second, a flicker of something like pity tried to surface in me. But I shoved it down as quickly as it came. I couldn’t feel sorry for him. Not when I was sitting here just as broken, just as beaten—physically and mentally. And definitely not when Y/N was at the center of it all.

This wasn’t some accident, some random twist of fate. Ony and I both knew the risks, knew the game we were playing. And if he thought he could keep someone like Y/N away from me, he was wrong. She wasn’t his to protect.

I leaned back in the seat, my gaze still locked on him as Reiner started the car. Ony didn’t look up, didn’t move. Maybe he was as lost in his head as I was, running over all the ways we’d screwed up to get here. Or maybe he just didn’t care anymore. I wasn’t sure which one would’ve been worse.

Connie sauntered over to Ony and plopped down beside him on the curb, stretching his legs out in front of him with a groan. The two sat in silence for a moment, the only sounds the faint hum of the night and the occasional shuffle from inside the warehouse. Connie tilted his head back to glance at Ony, whose face was blank, eyes fixed on a patch of gravel as if the weight of the world had been buried there.

“Yo,” Connie said, breaking the silence. “You wanna crash at mine tonight? Or I can drop you back at your spot if you’re feelin’ it.”

Ony didn’t move, didn’t even acknowledge the question. His fingers idly pushed at the small rocks near his boots, but his focus remained distant, somewhere far from where Connie sat. It was like talking to a wall.

Connie frowned, shifting a bit to lean closer. “Hey, man. You hear me? I said you wanna come back with me or what?”

Still nothing. The silence stretched so thin it felt suffocating, like even the night itself was holding its breath. Ony’s chest rose and fell steadily, but his expression didn’t flicker. He looked more like a statue than a man, trapped in his own mind.

Finally, Connie sighed, running a hand over his buzzed head. He pulled out a pack of rolling papers and a small baggie from his pocket, shaking them in Ony’s line of vision. “Alright, how about this? I roll you a blunt instead. That sound better?”

Ony’s fingers paused for the first time. He blinked slowly, his jaw tightening as if he were weighing the offer. A long moment passed before he finally shifted his gaze toward Connie, his voice low and hoarse when he replied.

“Yeah,” Ony muttered. “Roll me a blunt.”

Connie nodded, glad to get any kind of response at this point. “Aight, bet. Don’t say I never did nothin’ for you.”

He set to work, spreading the rolling paper out on his knee with practiced ease. The weed was already ground up, and Connie’s fingers moved deftly, sprinkling the green evenly across the paper. The rhythmic movements of his hands felt calming, almost therapeutic, and he wondered if Ony felt the same way watching him.

“So, you wanna talk about it?” Connie asked casually, glancing at Ony as he started to tuck the paper and roll it up.

Ony snorted softly, shaking his head. “What’s there to talk about, Connie? It’s all fucked.”

“That’s fair,” Connie said with a shrug, licking the edge of the paper to seal it. “But, like, I’m just sayin’, gettin’ it out might help. You been bottling shit up all night.”

Ony didn’t answer, just leaned back slightly, resting his arms on his knees as he stared ahead. Connie didn’t push it. Instead, he pulled a lighter from his pocket, sparking the blunt and taking a quick hit before passing it over.

“Here,” Connie said, holding it out to Ony. “This’ll do the talkin’ for you if you don’t wanna.”

Ony took it without a word, his fingers brushing against Connie’s briefly before he brought the blunt to his lips. He inhaled deeply, the cherry glowing bright as the smoke curled up into the cool night air. For the first time since Connie had sat down, Ony’s shoulders seemed to loosen, his posture relaxing just a fraction as he exhaled a slow stream of smoke.

“Thanks,” Ony muttered, his voice almost too quiet to hear.

“Don’t mention it,” Connie said, leaning back on his palms with a smirk. “You’re not the only one who needs to chill out after all this shit.��

They sat there like that for a while, passing the blunt back and forth, letting the silence between them grow comfortable instead of heavy. Neither of them needed to say much. The weed was doing its job, and for now, that was enough.

Jean, ever the instigator, leaned against the wall of the warehouse with that signature smirk of his, the one that promised trouble. He let out a low whistle, his eyes darting between Ony and the blunt in his hand.

“So,” Jean drawled, his tone thick with mischief. “What’s Yn think about all this? Bet she’s got a lot to say, huh?”

Ony’s entire body stiffened at the mention of her name. His hand froze mid-pass, the blunt hovering in the space between him and Connie. For a moment, it seemed like Ony hadn’t heard him—or maybe he was trying to convince himself that he didn’t. But then, without warning, Ony shot up from the concrete with such force it startled even Connie.

In a split second, Ony was in Jean’s face, his movements swift and aggressive. His jaw clenched tightly, and his nostrils flared as he stared Jean down. Jean, for all his usual bravado, looked momentarily caught off guard, his smirk faltering as he raised his hands in mock surrender.

“Yo, chill, Ony,” Jean said, his voice laced with a nervous chuckle. “I was just messing around.”

“Don’t.” Ony’s voice was low, dangerous, like a growl that seemed to rumble up from the depths of his chest. “Don’t bring her into this. Ever.”

For a tense moment, it seemed like Ony might swing. The air between them was charged, the kind of thick that made everyone else nearby tense up instinctively. Even Connie, who usually stayed out of these kinds of things, shifted uncomfortably, his eyes darting between the two.

But then, just as quickly as he’d snapped, Ony stepped back. He ran a hand down his face, letting out a long, controlled breath as if he were physically forcing himself to calm down. His gaze flickered toward the warehouse for a brief second, then back to Jean. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, but the edge hadn’t entirely disappeared.

“Watch your mouth, Jean. That’s family.”

Jean nodded, swallowing hard as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Got it, man. My bad. No harm meant.”

Ony didn’t respond. Instead, he turned his attention toward Eren, who had been watching the entire scene unfold with a knowing look. Ony’s eyes locked with his, and the intensity in them was unmistakable. It wasn’t just a warning; it was a promise. Then Ony glanced back at the warehouse door, his jaw tightening for a brief moment, before looking directly at Connie, who held the now-limp blunt.

“Roll another one,” Ony muttered, sinking back down onto the curb.

Connie raised an eyebrow but said nothing, pulling out the rolling papers again as Jean slunk off, muttering under his breath. The tension lingered in the air, but Ony seemed to retreat into his own thoughts, his fingers tapping against his knee as he stared off into the distance. Whatever was running through his mind, it was clear the storm inside him was far from over.

I leaned against Reiner's jeep for a moment, watching Ony sit stiffly on the curb. His posture screamed tension, the kind that was tightly wound and ready to snap at any moment. A lesser man would’ve backed off, but I wasn’t one to shy away from poking a bear—especially when it was this particular bear.

Reiner had been trying to talk me down, something about picking my battles and how Levi would have both our heads if he caught wind of this. But I wasn’t listening. Instead, I peeled myself away from the jeep and sauntered over to Ony, feeling Reiner’s heavy sigh follow me like a shadow.

Sliding onto the curb next to him, I made myself comfortable, deliberately invading his space. I felt him stiffen the second I sat down, his body going rigid as if bracing for whatever nonsense he knew was about to come out of my mouth. I waited a beat, letting the tension simmer, before I finally spoke.

“I’d call a truce,” I said casually, my voice low and edged with amusement. “But the thing is, I want Yn for myself. And you already know that.”

I watched as Ony’s jaw tightened, the muscle ticking as he kept his eyes fixed on the ground. His silence didn’t deter me—it only fueled me.

“So how about,” I continued, leaning in slightly, my tone dipping into something dangerously close to a taunt, “you drop this whole big brother act and let me have her?”

The air between us grew impossibly heavier, the kind that pressed down on your chest and made it hard to breathe. Ony’s head turned slowly, his dark eyes locking onto mine with a look that could’ve burned through steel. It wasn’t anger—not fully, at least. It was something deeper, something primal, and for the first time in a long while, I felt a flicker of unease.

“What did you just say?” Ony’s voice was low, steady, but it carried a weight that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

“You heard me,” I said, forcing a smirk to mask the tension crawling up my spine. “She’s wasted on you. I’d treat her better. You know it, I know it, hell—she probably knows it.”

That did it.

In a flash, Ony was on his feet, towering over me with an intensity that made even the shadows around us seem to shrink away. His fists were clenched at his sides, his knuckles white, but he didn’t swing. Not yet.

“You’re walking on thin ice, Jaeger,” Ony said, his voice barely above a whisper, but it was laced with so much venom it felt louder than a shout. “And you don’t want to see what happens when it breaks.”

I stood, meeting his gaze head-on, refusing to back down even as my pulse quickened. “Maybe I do,” I said, my smirk widening, though it felt more like baring teeth.

Before Ony could make his move, Reiner’s heavy hand landed on my shoulder, pulling me back with a force that made it clear I’d crossed a line.

“Enough,” Reiner said sharply, his eyes darting between the two of us. “This isn’t the time, and it sure as hell isn’t the place.”

Ony didn’t take his eyes off me, his chest rising and falling with barely contained rage. “This isn’t over,” he muttered, his voice like a low growl before turning on his heel and walking away.

Reiner shot me a look that could’ve rivaled Levi’s in its intensity. “Do you ever know when to shut up, Jaeger?”

I shrugged, my smirk returning as I watched Ony disappear into the shadows. “Where’s the fun in that?”

Connie suddenly stood up, stepping into my space with a fire in his eyes. "I thought you guys were chill. Like, is Y/N really worth all this, man?"

His words hit like a punch, but I wasn’t about to let him see how much they stung. "Ony’s not gonna forgive you, man. You know how he is about his family. He’s only doing all this shit for them. Your shit’s got him and his mama on ends."

His words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of truth I couldn’t deny. But instead of letting the tension break me, I threw my head back and laughed—a sharp, bitter sound

I couldn't help the chuckle that bubbled up, low and dark, as Connie's words hit the air. His face was scrunched up in that mixture of confusion and frustration, but all I could think about was how badly I’d just rattled Ony. Not just him, but everything around him. Family, loyalty, everything he thought he had a grip on—I was ripping it all away, piece by piece.

I leaned back, giving Connie a look that practically oozed smugness. "You think I care about his forgiveness?" I asked, letting the amusement settle in my tone like a bitter taste. "What the fuck does forgiveness even mean in this world? This is about power, and right now, I hold it. Ony? He's just a pawn in this game."

Connie's eyes narrowed, and I could see his frustration bubbling. He probably wanted to be the peacemaker, the one who made sure everything didn't go off the rails, but that wasn’t going to happen—not on my watch.

"Man, you’re playing a dangerous game," Connie muttered, shaking his head. "Ony’s loyalty runs deep, and you’re testing that line. He's not gonna back down from this."

I shrugged nonchalantly, the weight of my words heavy in the space between us. "Let him try. He knows who I am, and right now, I’m everything he can’t handle." My gaze flicked over to where Ony had disappeared into the distance, no longer looking back. "He’s too tied up in his little 'family' to see what’s really going on. It’s cute, in a way."

Connie looked like he was about to say more, but I cut him off, unable to resist. "And as for Yn? She's mine. No one else gets a say. If Ony’s too caught up in his feelings to protect what’s his, that’s on him. But Yn's not gonna end up like him. She’s gonna end up where she belongs—next to me."

Connie looked ready to snap, his face twisted in frustration, but there was nothing he could say that would change what I was going to do. I'd already decided, and no one, not even Ony, could stand in my way.

"You really think she’s gonna fall for your bullshit?" Connie pressed, his voice rising just a bit.

I let the laughter roll out again, louder this time. "We’ll see. I always get what I want, Connie. Always."

[twst-hottest-takes]

i hate the twst fandom. i hate them. especially in twitter. all the same old 30 year old hags who still plays the game (which is not for them).

I hate them with their stupid internalize misogyny.

i dont even think its internalized. Because why do you keep hating in the the anime just cuz the yuu is gonna be a girl?

This also goes to the other people in the twst fandom. I despise how they always have a reason to hate on female yuus. (Ocs or canon.)

The japanese side hated and criticized yuuka so much because she was a girl in an all boy school.

Did you not read the story? It literally said yuu was inserted (or some sht) in twisted wonderland against theyre own will, they did not choose to be there.

Also, they keep excusing why yuuka is in nrc cuz its an all boy school, as if crowley's doing anything to help her.

Also, if yuuka DID go out of nrc, where would she go? Outside of rsa, where would she go? She doesn't know where she is.

I hate the japanese fandom too. I hate them more. I hate their yaoi-infested brain. Literally, get a life.

I also hate how aniplex or disney japan keeps promoting twst has a gender neutral mc, yet the canon mcs are always close, if not, to a boy. (exclude yuuka).

Hate is an understatement.

I hate how this fandom normalizes the misogyny. I hate how they dont bat an eye to its misogynistic yaoi infested mindset 'fans'. But they always bat an eye to people who likes the first years. Always yelling in your ear "Theyre minors you cant simp for them!!!🥺🥺!! Go to the teachers or 3rd years instead!!🥺"

Is that all they care about? They only care about the people who likes the first or second years, and the 'problem' isnt that serious too. Its not like im 54 years old. I can go say 'Jack is so hot.' whenever i can cuz im a minor too. Did the twst fandom forget the other half of this fandom are teenagers or minors too? Did the twst fandom forget that teenagers have this called hormones cuz this is the start of their puberty? Hormones can happen to anyone. So idc if i sound problematic, im gonna go sexualize the first and second years all i want because i have free will.

Twt twst players really said "lets keep this fandom clean and comfortable." As if this fandom was already clean and comfortable to begin with, lmfao.

This is a confession blog now too apparently.

This is another one that could have a long response to every part of the given take, but you know what? I'm not going to.

Go off, you vitriolic teenager. May you one day look back on this and reminisce with nostalgia.

The comments and reblogs will be going off as well I'm sure. Have fun, everyone.

Thank you for your take.

(Y'all can ask for my full response to this later if you want but for now, like. Not worth thr effort.)

[fluff-n-cookies]

DABI Warmup

Note: I haven't written in a hot minute, just a warm up to get back into the flow of things. This post is a platonic x reader.

Dabi is Reader's father, Reader has blue eyes like his. No use of Y/N

For those who don’t know, this post is related to these

Pt 1, Pt 2

---

Civiliains are silly, fickle little things.

They're ignorant, that's what they are. those were Dabi's, well, Touya's, exact thoughts as he smoked on the balcony. the cool night air stung at his bare arms and seeped into the fabric of his pajama shirt. it didn't matter much though, not when the bustling streets of Yokohama are still wide awake.

He chuckled at his own thoughts, a chuckle then turned into a strangled cough. Damn lungs.

He couldn't be the one to think of such things though, it wasn't right for him to belittle others for remaining ignorant when he himself had his own little civilian daughter who he had been keeping in ignorant bliss for her whole life.

He cannot be the one to talk when he had intentionally refused to talk about heroes with her, or even speak of his day at work with the league. he would immediately change the topic of conversation the moment it turned to heroes and villains.

Dabi flicked his cigarette over the side of the balcony, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his sweat pants to see what his daughter was doing.

she had fallen asleep on the couch, elephant stuffie in hand, curled up under her favorite blanket. the My Neighbor Totoro one that was only 2 USD at their regular thrift shop.

she was a toddler by now, she had been watching him smoke on the balcony to give into his nicotine addiction since birth at this point. he would always set her down on the couch with a cartoon on and a bunch of stolen toys so she wouldn't get bored. he would then watch her from the other side of the glass sliding door that separated the balcony and living room.

it always felt a tad bit wrong though, to leave her alone like that, but addiction calls, it's hard to resist, I guess.

You know what's sillier than civilians? being a father.

it means having to wake up at the butt crack of dawn to get your daughter dressed and ready. I means having to help her choose the dress she wants to wear today and then consoling her when she can't choose, gets to overwhelmed, and cries until you bribe her with ice cream.

it means stashing her school pictures and drawings in a little shoe box under the sink because you don't have the heart to throw them away and you can't afford anyone suspecting you have a daughter if they see her picture in your stolen wallet.

it means downloading Disney and Studio Ghibli movies from a pirating website for movie night the next day. despite knowing full damn well that she'll probably fall asleep half way through and never bother to finish the movie.

Silly, so silly.

so silly and so fun to be able to ignore the pain and suffering in this world and just focus on helping her finish math homework. (the first question was 2 + 3) and then making her favorite food for dinner because she got an A+ on her spelling test.

Maybe being a civilian isn't all that bad.

---

Tags ; @red4-0 @likethegardenyk @suktoru @blurryperrtymoonlight @harkenizalone @lostiolite @rllytriedrn @mellyxqz @cupkiki @xxnessinessiellexx @dehlieee @mossysoup @ijwsbdinp @byul9158 @suksatoru @ssetsuka @savatar-de-mordor @justanotherweeb666 @frog-fans-unite

figured you guys might like some updates.

[greenleaf4stuff]

Of Convenience 5.2

(all previous parts of "Of Convenience")

Adar x Celebrimbor (silverscars) political marriage AU, 5th snippet, part 2. The fallout of Adar's prior revelation. Celebrimbor has a Gil-Galad moment (disappointment), a Feanor moment (rage), and a mental breakdown. Not neccessarily in that order. Somehow the negotiations turn out okay afterwards.

This is a bit of insanity but honestly, I imagine Celebrimbor would not take it well if he knew Galadriel had told Adar about Nenya's whereabouts, or that Elrond had brought the ring into the uruk camp with him. Plus I feel Brimby is entitled to a lil breakdown by now. He's had a wild few days. (There is some silverscars tenderness at the end too!) (Btw this is be the longest snippet yet, w t h where are these words coming from?!)

"Also. Galadriel tells me Lord Celebrimbor managed to create three rings of great power - great enough to extend the stay of the elves in Middle Earth. One of which was bestowed upon her, Nenya- she confided in me that she gave it away before attacking my camp. That she'd given it to an elf that would arrive with Lindon's army," the short pause, undoutedbly used for dramatic effect, was defeaning. "I assume this elf to be you, herald Elrond."

"And I also I believe that combining the power of these rings with the crown will allow me to permanently rid us all of Sauron. If you choose to hand them over to me."

It was as if somehow, all sound had deserted the inside of Adar's tent. At least, it felt that way to Celebrimbor. Adar's words rang in his ears, endlessly repeating.

As incredulous as he felt, the smith wasn't sure where to direct his attention towards first; the uruk who had more or less just insinuated that the elves should just hand over their precious rings to him, Galadriel who had given away such a strategic advantage, or Elrond who might actually-

The smith first settled his gaze on Galadriel, hoping that Adar had simply picked up rumors or scraps of conversation and constructed himself a full picture from it that might benefit his plans but would not hold up to reality.

Unfortunately for Celebrimbor's sanity, Galadriel looked caught, then stricken, and soon averted her face to the far side of the tent. It was clear that Adar had spoken the truth.

In the back of his mind, Celebrimbor understood what her intentions might have been. He too had expected Adar to be more cooperative, now that the uruk had secured himself the neccessary edge to demand a treaty. He'd been the one to suggest this path, after all.

Telling Adar about the rings themselves might have counted as a tactic to show that the elves had an edge as well, that he should not underestimate their prowess and that they could not just be roped into his own plans and considerations.

But telling him about where Nenya was, endangering Elrond's life in the process-

The smith attempted to diffuse the situation. "The existance of the rings are a well-known fact by now," though he himself hadn't even known until that moment who got to wear them, he couldn't help but think bitterly, "I am sure Elrond wouldn't risk bringing one of the rings into such close promixity to potential danger."

There was the sound of a sucked-in breath on the other side of the table, and Celebrimbor went very, very still.

With an almost pleading, incredulous expression, he let his gaze drift over towards Elrond. Not just hoping, but praying to the Valar that he'd taken the wrong clue from the other elf's noise.

Elrond outwardly appeared unmoved, but Celebrimbor knew his friend well. Judging by the way he had tensed up, the slightly widened eyes, Celebrimbor suddenly knew his fears had not been unfounded - he could see the faint glimmer of a fine, silver chain around Elrond's neck, almost imperceptible against the herald's collar, and the smith's heart sank and dropped into his stomach.

"Please tell me you didn't," the smith couldn't help but ask - one last, foolish attempt to be proven wrong. He didn't care that Adar could hear. He couldn't believe that two of his friends, whom he had considered among the wisest and most noble of his kind, had inadvertently managed to turn such promising negotations so volatile. And that they had heaped even more worries onto Celebrimbor's shoulders in the process.

"Of course not," Elrond replied as he tried to hold Celebrimbor's gaze. But his words convinced absolutely no one.

Least of all Adar, who hummed and appeared to be exceedingly smug has he leant back in his chair.

"Well, well," he drawled. "Looks like we are getting somewhere after all."

As Elrond regained his composure and began to threaten having his riders overrun Adar's camp if he so much as laid a finger on the herald or his friends, and Adar began to press for the elves to hand over the rings so Adar might use the full force of them and Morgoth's crown against Sauron, Celebrimbor found his mind just...detaching itself from the conversation.

He could tell Galadriel was trying to get a word in as well, but it was as if the others were speaking a language unknown to his ears.

His faith in the wisdom and foresight of elvenkind had been strained plenty already, not least of all by the history of his own house. He would hardly call himself a shining example of either virtue, either.

But the current situation really had him question whether this was all the Deceiver playing them for fools, or if they weren't all being fools on their own volition. He had certainly expected more - from the others (including Adar), but also from himself.

The smith realized that he'd slouched down on his own seat and curled up into himself over the table, mouth covered by a hand and eyes wide in horror as the full scale and danger of their current situation began to press down upon him.

Here they were, two armies at odds with one another, and in the middle of that, the smith Sauron had intended to use to further his own plans. As well as one of the elven rings of power. All well within his grasp. All of which could have been avoided, if they hadn't squabbled with one another, if they hadn't been led astray by their own overconfidence. 

Finally, Celebrimbor reached out and pulled over the wine chalice. Instead of pouring himself a glass, however, he felt his own hand wrap around the handle and clutch it, desperately trying to find something to hold onto. And, perhaps, throw across the tent. But that would remain a truth only he himself was to be privy to.

Through the fog of his own worries and a mounting sense of hysteria, the smith could hear a faint voice call out to him. As he wrenched himself back to the dispute at hand - albeit with difficulty - Celebrimbor could see Galadriel's worried face in front of himself, leaning over the table even as Adar's uruk guards tried to hold her back.

Maybe she'd asked his opinion, or maybe she'd inquired after his wellbeing. The smith cared not. He shook his head and closed his eyes as he held up his hand to ward her off. The tent suddenly felt entirely too suffocating.

Not caring about what a sight he would be to the others, Celebrimbor sprung up from his seat. The tent fell quiet as his chair toppled to the ground, and suddenly, the eyes of Adar, Elrond and Galadriel, as well as Vorohil and the uruk guards, were on him.

A manic giggle escaped the smith, who held up a finger and felt his face pull into a grimace of cordial elation that he didn't feel a drop of. "If, if you would excuse me for but a moment, please."

And with that, he spun around and marched out of the tent. He vaguely heard Adar ordering two of the uruk to follow him, but they didn't stop him from stepping outside.

The fresh air was both a relief and a shock to Celebrimbor. He stood outside for a moment, breathing erratically as he felt like he might not quite get in another gulp of air, mind spinning with everything that had happened to him those last few weeks. He felt as if he were drowning as he swam against a current, until suddenly, something snapped inside him.

He almost felt removed from his own body as he started shouting to the skies above. He had just enough propriety left to do so not in a language most of the others would understand, and so he began to curse loudly in khuzdul of all things.

Insult after insult fell out of his mouth - he cursed Sauron and his vile manipulations, he cursed the stubbornness of Galadriel and the carelessness of Elrond, he cursed his own pride and gullibility, he cursed Adar's lack of insight and Gil-Galad's abscence. And then he cursed everything else, from his own house up to and including the Valar and Eru himself.

When finally, the last of his vitriol and bad temper had bled out of him, Celebrimbor almost sank to the ground in exhaustion. It was both as if he'd rid himself of a great poison that had overtaken him, and as if he hadn't properly rested in several months. The latter of which, sadly, could have been true, come to think of it.

As he looked up again, the uruk in the camp had stopped whatever it was they were doing - one of them had raised a hammer above his head and halted in that pose, another had dropped a barrel she'd been carrying, and several had drawn their weapons and pointed it in the direction of the elf in their midst. Celebrimbor couldn't fault them for it - he must appear quite mad, all things considered, and he couldn't say for certain that he wasn't.

When he righted himself, a little flustered, the uruk scurried backwards and away from him. Seemed that in their perception, his outburst had not been that of a pathetic elf wailing about his own misery, though Celebrimbor couldn't guess what they might see him as instead.

"I apologize. These so-called 'leaders' are particularly bothersome today," Celebrimbor said to the uruk in general, then turned around and went back inside the tent - this time, with the determination to somehow put all of this right.

He hadn't come so far, given himself away in a marriage and helped drag nearly everyone to the negotiation table for things to fall apart around him now because of some trinkets he'd made and the foolishness of people who should have known better.

As he stepped back into the tent, he was greated by a variety of expressions, none of them positive - the uruk guards looked either downright frightened or aghast, Galadriel's eyes were opened wide and she was leaning away from the tent flap he'd come back in from, Elrond - who could speak khuzdul - seemed utterly scandalized, and Adar himself had gripped the handle of his sword even as he remained rooted to his throne.

Celebrimbor exhaled a breath, paused a moment, then drew another one in, before he continued where he'd left off outside the tent.

"How is it, when compared to you," he pointed at Galadriel, "the commander of the Northern armies collaborating with our greatest and most dangerous foe, getting yourself captured by our enemy and revealing the whereabouts of Nenya," she flinched, but Celebrimbor had already turned to Elrond,

"you, the herald of High King Gil-Galad himself, who has not only kept that ring but brought it with him into a battle and into the very heart of an enemy camp instead of leaving it with someone else," he turned towards Adar finally,

"and you, who claims he will vanquish Sauron and wants to create a lasting peace, for the wellbeing of his children, but who seems determined to sabotage every attempt at collaboration with frankly ludicruous demands and needlessly cruel ideas,"

he pointed to himself, "that I, who let Sauron himself walk into my city and practically handed him the keys, who was willing to believe his lies because he played into my inflated sense of ego and my pathetic need to outshine my grandfather, might actually run the risk of counting as the most responsible one between all of us, when it should be the opposite?!"

Well, even he hadn't expected that he still had enough fire left in him to start yelling again. He'd be impressed with himself, if this didn't remind the smith of his own grandfather far too much. But perhaps if no one was willing to listen to reason and actually work towards a solution for all of them, screaming people into submission was the only option left.

Judging by the chastized expressions on everyone else's faces, and the way nobody dared to talk back at him, Celebrimbor might have been onto something in this instance. He'd try not to make a habit of it though - suddenly he wished back for Gil-Galad's disappointment and understood the way the high king looked so utterly, completely tired all the time.

With a deep, resounding sigh, his shoulders deflated, and Celebrimbor slowly walked over to Adar's side. The uruk leant the slightest bit away from him for a moment before he regained himself, but even his guards seemed too unsettled to stop the screaming mad elf from getting closer to their leader.

To everyone's surprise, Celebrimbor dropped down on his knees next to Adar instead, and grasped his arm as he looked up at the other. The uruk's face was unreadable, and he still hadn't relinquished his grasp on his sword.

This time, the smith's voice was much softer. "Husband," he started, and Adar's eyes widened. "If you are to join forces with Lindon, their army and yours would be the same. It would be a shared endeavour. Both armies would walk up to Eregion's walls and demand its surrender - and you would march into the open gates side by side with the High King himself."

"It would make no more sense for Elrond to relinquish the ring as it would be for you to hand over Morgoth's crown. If we indeed need both to fight and defeat Sauron, we will do so - together, as a united force. And for that, we need trust."

His gaze turned imploring. "I have made no attempt to desert you since we took each other as spouses. Me and Galadriel walked alongside you to greet Elrond and the other elves, and we did not run or betray you. You have to put trust into the sincerity of our joined efforts for this alliance to come to fruition. Same as they do towards you."

"A lasting peace cannot grow on demands and suspicions. It can only grow on trust."

As the smith finished his appeal to Adar's reason, the uruk's face held a stunned look. His whole attention was focused on Celebrimbor, as if he'd seen the elf for the first time - and well, Celebrimbor supposed in a sense, the other had. He usually tried to keep his own temper in check, too aware of his own heritage and its destructive power.

Slowly, but surely, Celebrimbor could see the uruk's mind begin to work again behind his eyes, as his eyebrows knit and his lips pursed.

The smith held his breath as the uruk detached his gauntleted hand from the handle of his sword, and instead rested it on Celebrimbor's arm. But he didn't try to pry the smith's hand away.

"Please, get up, Celebrimbor," Adar said, unexpectedly gentle. It was the smith's turn to be too stunned to speak as the uruk got up, urged the smith to stand, bent to right his chair, and then carefully pushed Celebrimbor into it, before he poured him some water - not wine - and pressed the glass into his hand. "Rest."

The smith blinked, and then watched as Adar rounded behind him and faced Galadriel and Elrond, who had watched the scene before them with in silence.

The uruk seemed to fight with himself for a brief moment, and then rose to his full height. "Herald Elrond. Please, tell your king that I am interested in joining our forces. Tell him of what we discussed in this tent. Tell him..." he briefly faltered. "Tell him that I have Morgoth's crown, and that I would walk to the gates of Eregion with him and the elven rings. So we can finally be done with the evil that occupies it."

"And so that we may, luck permitting, use our shared victory to build a prosperous cooperation between our people, and my marriage to the Lord of- to Celebrimbor, to help usher in a lasting peace."

With a sigh of relief, Celebrimbor watched as Elrond hesitated, briefly, and then nodded in agreement. "I will return to my king at once and tell him of your proposal. I will advocate on your behalf...and on your husband's."

Celebrimbor was hit with such a rush of hope that his hands began to shake, even as he tried to take a calming drink of water. If one of the others noticed, they thankfully didn't bring any attention to it. 

[ithilien-writes]

yaaay! my prompt is choosing joy verse wedding planning (even if it’s just your thoughts on the roles everyone takes on!) ♥️♥️

Okay, this is probably not at all what you were envisioning, but I hope you still like it!! Thank you for the prompt! 💜💜

(to anyone reading: these were meant to be quick scenes to help unblock me so please take them in that spirit. ie. this was written really quickly and without much editing. feel free to send me some more!!

---

Best Laid Plans [Buck/Eddie (Buck & Maddie), G, ~900 words]

Buck is not being a bridezilla, okay? Or groomzilla? Whatever. He's not. No matter what Chim says about it. Buck is just being... particular. So that everything will be perfect. Eddie deserves that. Buck deserves that. So he's just- he's taking the wedding planning seriously, that's all.

"I'm just saying, why does he always have to do it here?" he can hear Chim saying in the other room, followed by a distinctly Maddie-sounding huff that's part fond and part exasperated.

Whatever she says in response, it's too low for Buck to hear, but when she comes back into the kitchen she's alone and he can hear the front door opening and then closing again. Buck can't help but wince a little in apology.

"Sorry," he says. "I didn't mean to drive Chim out of his own house."

But Maddie waves him off, one hand resting on her now very pregnant stomach.

"It's not you," she says, too forgiving of Buck, as always. "He's just stressed about the baby coming so soon. I sent him to run some errands; it's fine."

She comes around the island to peer over his shoulder at the three invitation samples currently spread out in front of him and hums thoughtfully.

"I like the cream with the blue font," she says. "The gold looks to fancy and the grey's a little boring."

"Right?" Buck agrees, probably a little too emphatically, as he twists around to look at her. When he sees her smile though, it makes him feel a little like he's twelve years old again, and the sudden surge of love that wells up in him almost takes him by surprise, if only just in it's ferocity.

"That's uh. That's what I was saying," he adds lamely, after a moment.

Maddie's smile gets a little brighter and she rests a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm so happy for you," she says, getting a little teary the way she seems to be at the drop of a hat these days. "You know that, right?"

"I know," Buck tells her, feeling his own throat tighten a little around the words.

Maddie sniffles and then rolls her eyes at herself.

"God sorry," she says. "Third trimester. I've already cried three times today. This baby needs to hurry up already."

Buck laughs with her, picking up their chosen invitation and tucking the other two back behind it. Maddie circles the counter again and goes to make another pot of coffee. It's decaf, but she swears it still has some kind of placebo effect. Buck's not entirely convinced.

He drums his fingers on the table a little, debating with himself. But it's just Maddie. It's just the two of them. He could ask her.

"Hey, um," he starts, a little awkwardly. "Do you- do you ever feel. I don't know. Weird? A-about Jee-Yun spending time with Mom and Dad?"

Maddie turns back from the coffee maker and regards him seriously. She doesn't look thrown by the question, even though Buck knows it has to seem like it's coming out of nowhere.

"Honestly? Yeah, sometimes," she says, and Buck lets out a slightly shaky breath, feeling weirdly relieved by her answer.

"It's not like-" she pauses, considering- "I'm not worried about her safety or anything, obviously. But I remember what it was like growing up in that house. Some of things they said to us. To you."

She sighs, fidgeting with the mug in her hands a little.

"So yeah, I worry a little," she admits. "Sometimes."

Buck nods, looking down at the invitation without really seeing it this time. Eventually he looks back up at Maddie and finds her still just waiting. Always so patient with him.

Buck clears his throat.

"They just- they haven't really... met Christopher," he says eventually. "I mean, obviously they did, at your wedding. But like, they haven't really spent any time with him. And I'm- I know it's dumb, but I'm-"

"I get it," Maddie tells him, voice soft.

Then, even more softly-

"You don't have to invite them, Buck."

Buck scoffs a little, at that.

"Come on," he argues. "They're our parents. I have to invite them."

"No," she argues back. "You really don't."

Buck shakes his head.

"That's not even- I want them there," he says. And he does. He's... pretty sure he does. "I'm just-"

Maddie sets down her coffee.

"Okay, how about this then - maybe you should just talk to Christopher about it," she suggests. "He's a teenager, so he's old enough to understand complicated family stuff-" Buck can't help but snort a little, at that- "and maybe it would good for you guys anyway. For him to understand things a little better."

"We did uh. We did kind of talk about it once," he tells her. "Or well, I did. He said our family was messed up."

This time it's Maddie's turn to snort.

"Well, if the shoe fits," she quips, picking up her coffee again but sighing a little discontentedly as she takes a sip.

Buck looks over at her and can't help but smile again.

"I don't know," he says, "I think my family is actually pretty great, these days."

Maddie smiles back at him, even as her eyes immediately go teary again. And well- if Buck gets an earful from Chim when he gets home about making Maddie cry, he can take it.

It's worth it.

[numberonetacostan]

PACO SWAP AU

Here is the somewhat awaited long post for the Paco Swap AU! I’ve taken pieces from the other posts made about it for this, so you don’t need to read the other posts about it to understand anything!!! I know quite a few of you like this au, so please enjoy the full post about it!!! :D

SO! As the name says, Pickle and Taco swap roles here. Taco’s season 1 persona is her real personality, and Pickle is using her. Initially he’s using her popularity with the viewers to make himself look better, and get himself further in the competition by proxy of being her best friend and primary caretaker, but he doesn’t break his act upon getting voted out/losing, like Taco does in the season finale. Other than that, season 1 is roughly the same besides the end result. He sticks to the role of being her also-dumb-but-mildly-smarter best friend, at least for longer. She wins the season, it doesn’t particularly matter what changes but we’ll just say Bow doesn’t attack her this time, she gets to the finish line first, hooray for Taco!! She uses her money on a lemon orchard, and then somewhere for them all to live with the others’ urging. Taco’s name is on the deed and documentation, because it was her money that bought it, but everyone pitches in to run this hotel. It’s better for OJ and his relationship with Paper, without all the stress of running the hotel on his own and the ego boost he gets from that and winning in the first place. Taco would choose a lot of the decor though!! Not all of it, since someone would step in to make sure not every single thing in the building is lemon-yellow, but there’s still a strong lemon theme, yeah? 

Since Taco is Baby and doesn’t know how to manage money at all, and because as is stated by Bomb in season 1 she currently only speaks French and a few English words here and there, her best friend Pickle is the one who manages her finances. And… well he sure does manage them alright, but not for Taco. He buys a video game here and there. And then maybe some new headphones, a console, a PC, etc. And since he has so many games and consoles to play with, he doesn’t really have time to be hanging out with and watching Taco. And the other contestants start to notice this, seeing Taco by herself more often, more and more packages coming for Pickle, and even Taco sitting outside his closed door waiting for him like a dejected puppy. They try to be more gentle about it at first telling him not to buy too much with her money and to go hang out with her, but they'd get more firm, especially when Taco starts getting rather upset that he's more or less ignoring her now that she's served her purpose to him. 

They end up taking away his access to her money, and he lashes out at them like Taco does in the s1 finale, and then disappears off into the woods like Taco did as well. He’s pretty furious about not getting to use the money he’s worked so hard to earn, taking care of Taco day after day. He’d insult her here too, and even though she doesn’t understand much, I think she’s been called “annoying” enough to understand what it means, and for her best and only close friend to call her that? Sweet little Taco would be heartbroken actually. She doesn't understand what happened enough to understand that it isn't her fault, but she does understand how angry Pickle was and how scornfully he was talking to and about her!!!!! She understands that he hates her but not why, and that it wasn't anything she did. I can imagine her trying to make him feel better when he's lashing out at everyone, trying to give him a lemon or a nuzzle (armless hug; either she really doesn't have arms or truly just doesn't use them often) and him pushing her away and hard enough to make her fall over, which ends up being the last straw for him getting kicked out. 

Augh, and she'd be sobbing too, because her best friend Pickle was so so mad and now he's gone and she doesn't know what she did. I think it would be interesting for Knife to take on a parallel role here to the one he did for Pickle too. When Pickle is gone, he ends up taking over as Taco's caretaker/best friend. Knife the protector, yeah? Genuine or not, Pickle did look after her to keep her from unknowingly getting into trouble, and she still needs someone looking after her. I mean, I think the entire cast would be pitching in more to make sure she's okay after what happened, but I see characters like Knife, OJ, Paper (as the other two menu squad members), and the lot really making sure to take care of her. Knife wouldn’t be as openly affectionate with her as Pickle was, at least at first, but I think she’d wear him down eventually, enough to accept all the affection she gives him and give her head pats. For the whole cast, I think they'd actually start liking Taco more after this reveal? Mostly because they all feel quite badly for her, and all pitch in to take care of her, and then get to know her more!! She pretty exclusively stuck by Pickle's side during season 1, yeah? So spending more time around her may subject them all to the glory of her silly whimsy. They'd bond with her more due to Pickle's betrayal, yeah? I think the others would also put more effort into helping her learn English when they're all taking care of her after Pickle leaves. They don't know her nonverbal cues as well as Pickle did, and as well I'd imagine him not wanting her to learn English if he can manage it. The more she understands the harder it is for him to keep using her, yeah? So they start using little vocab flashcards and simpler language that will be easier for her to pick up on, and she starts understanding more!! She still isn’t a big talker, but when she does decide to say something it’s much more comprehensible!!! Good for her!!!

Onto season 2!!! Taco is not really involved in season 2, beyond episode 7. She doesn’t make it into the season 2 cast, but as a result of the lawsuit the others help her file against Mephone, she does get to host episode 7!!! She would sing the elimination time theme <3. I think she would eliminate Knife. Not because she wants him to lose but because she misses having him in the hotel. He would be all >:| but walk over to her and let her nuzzle him excitedly, since he’d plan to make sure the proper elimination is done when Mephone4 gets back. Taco being Taco, instead of having everyone clean the hotel, she’d make her get her lemons from her orchard!!! No coin flip either. It’s basically the same challenge as s1 ep2, honestly. What can I say? She loves her some lemons!!! I think this would be when her and Mic meet as well. Mic is currently being bothered by Cheesy or being scolded by her team, so I think Taco’s silly, loud fun would be a welcome presence for her, as well as her pretty unconditional affection if you’re someone she likes. S1 Taco would be among the few contestants that don't mind at all when Mic shouts to her heart's content, yeah!! Since Taco shouts all the time too!!! Mic might get a sort of shovel talk from Knife after what happened with Pickle, yeah? Mic would not like that someone was so mean to Taco and put even more effort into being her friend!!! I don’t ship them in this au, but I do think they should be best buddies!!! Loud girl solidarity!!!

As for Pickle, he’d probably try working behind the scenes like Taco, though not with the same success that she does. He doesn’t have her intellect, even in this au, so he can’t come up with the same plans that she can. He’d pick someone that could get further in the game based on likeability rather than strategy like Taco in season 1, and someone that would be willing to work with him, since he can’t offer the same advantage that Taco can. He can’t scheme well, nor did he make it to the finals like she did. I’d say Lightbulb could be a possibility, her being very well-liked and having been Taco’s second choice, yeah? She’s friendly to canon Taco so I think she’d be relatively friendly with Pickle too, with the same hopes of him getting better. Mic would probably be voted out earlier without Taco’s help, so there’s that too. Knife would probably play the same role here, finding out that LB and Pickle were working together, as much as Pickle could manage. He is manipulative in this au, don’t get me wrong, he’s just not that smart. He’d still reach for the portal, though she wouldn’t see it since she got sucked in, so she doesn’t ask him about it. No eye injury for him! He already had one in s1 anyways. As for why LB would cut things off? I think Pickle would sabotage the rocket, like Mic does in canon, but he does it after telling LB he was going to- to which she gives an adamant no. Testy is her friend, and Fan just got kidnapped! It’s serious o’clock!! But he still does it, the rocket nearly fails, and LB cuts things off with him. She’s not gonna work with him if he’s gonna hurt her friends, and Pickle is left once again without a silly, happy companion.

Onto season 3!! S2 is on hiatus now!!! I already answered an ask that goes over everything involving her in season 3 lol, so I’ll just gently place that here. 

I suppose most of her swapping is done with Pickle, in regards to the betrayer/betrayee dynamic, but since the winner would swap she is indeed taking OJ's place in season 3!!! And yes, she would not care about being "dethroned." Frankly, she'd find Silver to be rather funny and probably burst out laughing during his speech. I think she'd more or less understand what he was trying to do, but think it was funny that he was taking things so seriously and that he'd seen her as some sort of obstacle to overcome. She just likes having fun with her friends!!! Winning doesn't matter to her. She'd just give a happy little "bye-bye!!" and be sent off to Indefinite Island. Though, at least for Painty, this would cause more scorn towards Silver. It's one thing for him to make that speech at OJ, a pretty mature guy, but to do it at Taco? A little Taco who already had one pulled over on her by who she'd thought was her best friend? Painty would not be cool with that. I think she'd be on Indefinite Island for a bit, primarily because it wouldn't be safe for Taco to try and get back to her hotel on her own. I'd imagine she stays until Painty gets out and they go back to the hotel together. Lifering and eventually Tea Kettle when she gets there would be the ones watching over her while she's on Indefinite Island. Like you said, Mic probably would get out sooner without having Taco to help her, which might be for the better with how much better she can grow her confidence without being in the competition.

As for the finale, I think she'd initially want to vote for Silver, actually? Because she still thinks he's funny. But after he punches Candle's flame out, she doesn't like him much anymore, he's more scary than funny now, and she would vote for Balloon. I don't think she'd talk much to Cabby, since Cabby doesn't get to Indefinite Island too long before the rejoin challenge and she's not as patient with the others until later on. She'd definitely be frightened by the unvitational committee, she'd understand what's going on more than she did in season 1, yeah? TK and Lifering, having had taken care of her, would definitely be watching out for her, as well as Painty and even Nickel, though in his own way. He doesn't like Taco that much anyways, but he might casually position himself between her and the unvitationals, yeah?

To add on to the season 3 finale, I think Taco and Cabby would interact a bit at the end!! Cabby is the first winner since Taco, after all. I think Taco would poke her arm out of the top of her shell (I love it when she does this IT'S SO CUTE) and offer Cabby a victory lemon!!!! With a little "We're winners!", yeah? Keep in mind that, in this au, Taco really did only speak French and some other random words in the beginning, but her English has been improving!! Mostly in comprehension, since she doesn't talk much in general, but by the latter end of this au she can definitely speak more!! Pickle's betrayal did set her progress back, though. She didn't feel like talking for a while after he left.

Truth or Flare would be similar, Pickle probably couldn’t even try reprogramming Mepad like in canon, so he’d just be spying and take the chance to jump into the challenge when he hears what it is. He might hold Mephone or Mepad at like… rock point? Threaten to throw a rock at them, which is a genuine danger to their lives, I suppose. I’m doing my best here guys it’s not my fault he’s a much less threatening antagonist than Taco. Well I guess it is a little but it’s more in character for him!! Regardless, he doesn’t fall apart but instead retreats into the woods when he finds out someone else is coming, and Mepad goes after him of his own volition. It’s Mepad, he sees someone who needs help, he’s gonna help them. (RIP king you would have loved my shiny buneary). 

Finale!!!! Okay, not too much changes!! But we’ll start with the Pickle & Taco apology scene and go from there. He comes in and knocks on her door, and she’s so very happy to see him!!! Surprised, but happy!! Before she can start giving him affection though, he gives her his apology. He doesn’t know how much of it she understands, since she learned a lot of English in his absence, but he gives a solid, sincere apology. Which Taco is very happy to hear!! She wasn’t really mad at him in the first place, she just missed him a whole lot and was very sad. But now he’s back!!! She squeals and “sour creams” and nuzzles him!!! She even tells him it’s okay and that she’s not mad, though not in so many words. Though unfortunately for Pickle, Mic hears Taco getting all excited, and comes to check on her, catching them together. Mic isn’t happy and starts berating him for showing up around here, as I think she’d be prone to do with him having hurt her buddy Taco is deeply, as Taco tries to get her to stop. That gets cut off, though, because their yelling attracts MephoneX, and Pickle is yet again the first to fall. This gets the attention of more of the cast, especially as it starts to go after Taco and chases her into the lobby area, X-ing her like he does OJ in canon. The finale starts playing out relatively normally after that. 

I think Mic would help her through the red line game and hold her hand (if she could convince Taco to bring it out of her shell), like in canon, and Taco might even help her too! With how she stops in the finale because of the images of her being ignored no matter how loud she screams, yeah? But there's a little Taco who likes to yell with her pulling on her hand, and they run across the line.

But after they all get back she wouldn't understand why Mepad isn't powering on. She didn't spend much time with him, since she didn't compete in season 2 nor kidnap him in this au, but she'd know it isn't normal. They probably would have to keep her away from the body, because she'd keep trying to get his attention and get him to turn on like normal, especially since Pickle would be quite upset about his death like Taco is in canon. 

She would understand that Mephone made them when someone tells her directly, but I don’t think it would really phase her, honestly? She doesn't care, their priority should be getting her lemon orchard back. Everyone else is being so very careful, but it's business as usual for Taco, yeah? She'd probably get another babysitter or two with how fragile her shell is. She might playfully spit a lemon at someone, and end up with Knife carefully but very firmly telling her she can't spit lemons at people anymore and has to be very careful not to hurt herself or anyone else. Getting scolded might make her sad since she doesn't totally get the stakes of it all, but after a few days of hiding from him behind Microphone she'd be okay again. 

She and Pickle would hang out again!!!! But on a tentative basis with everyone else. Taco would definitely be annoyed that the others weren't letting her and Pickle hang out one-on-one. They used to do it all the time, and now Pickle is nice again, so there's no more problem!!! She might try to be cheeky and sneak away to go hang out with him, but he'd probably let one of the others know where she is and that they're together anyways. She wouldn't like it, and it might make her think he still doesn't want to spend time with her, but he'd still be on thin ice with everyone else, yeah? So he wouldn't want to be sneaking around them and losing even more of their trust. I think eventually they’d be let alone again, and Pickle would take even better care of her than before, even if he isn’t her main caretaker after coming back. He’d slowly get off thin ice with everyone else, though there may be some (Knife) who are extra protective of Taco and keep an eye on him. But overall it’s a happy ending for Pickle and Taco!!!! :D

I think that’s everything for this au!!!!  ＼(＾▽＾)／ I hope you’ve enjoyed, and if I forgot to include anything please let me know!! If there are any questions, please feel free to send in an ask!!!

[ejzah]

@mashmaiden also pointed out that the twins’ birthday would be coming up, or passed if you follow my timeline.

***

Firsts

“Are you having a good party?” Deeks asked Sophia, lying on his side while she and Caleb played with sorting cups and blocks.

“Yah,” she responded matter of factly, not looking up from the two cups she was trying to force them together.

A few feet away, Kensi and Rosa were taking turns building towers for Caleb to immediately knock down. Roberta, Callen, Anna, Sam, and Fatima had also come to celebrate the twins’ first birthday, and were currently embroiled in a highly competitive game of “Don’t Say Birthday” (with twins, baby, Sophia, Caleb, and present added into the mix of banned words to up the difficulty). At the moment, Roberta and Sam were tied.

“Alright, that’s my last pin,” Callen announced, handing it over to Fatima. “I’m out, try not to kill each other.” He wandered over, stopping beside Deeks. “When you invited me, I assumed it would be the one year olds fighting, not my partner and your mom.”

“Yeah, we probably should have stuck to bingo,” Deeks said, laughing at their antics.

“Ti,” Sophia instructed, patting the spot next to her. When Callen didn’t immediately respond to her directive, she patted the floor more emphatically, scowling at him.

“I think the birthday girl would like you to sit down,” Deeks interpreted.

“Oh, of course.” Callen hastily sat down. “Wouldn’t want to get on her bad side.”

“Definitely not.”

Sophia patted his shoulder, apparently satisfied and then lifted her light blue birthday dress to cover her face, and shouted “boo!”.

This time, Callen didn’t hesitate to hold his hands up and copy her, making Sophia giggle in delight.

“Incoming!” Kensi called out right before Caleb came running towards them, a party hat in one hand, and a green block in the other.

Deeks held out his arms, catching Caleb against his chest before he could crash.

“Hey buddy, how you doing?”

Caleb didn’t say anything, choosing to bury his head almost in Deeks’ armpit instead.

“I think he’s reaching the end of his endurance,” Kensi said, picking up a few toys as she moved closer. She brushed Caleb’s curls back from his temple, pushing her bottom lip out. “My poor baby. You’re just having too much fun.”

“Caleb reached up and clumsily forced a party hat on top of Deeks’ head.

“Thanks, kiddo,” Deeks said, pulling the attached rubber band under his chin. Both he and Sophia had started the party out with their own hats, but quickly dispensed with them. He’d seen Sophia’s discarded under the table, while Caleb had repurposed his as a container to hold a variety of snacks.

“I think it’s cake time,” Kensi told Rosa, who excitedly jumped, heading for the kitchen. She had kindly volunteered to the two smaller cakes for Sophia and Caleb to destroy and a larger cake for the rest of the party to enjoy.

“Guys, we’re about to sing “Happy Birthday” and have cake,” Kensi announced more loudly, addressing the rest of the guests. “So, I officially call an end to the game. Who has the most safety pins?”

“Me,” Anna said, raising her hand. “I have twenty-two.”

“Impressive,” Deeks commented.

“Yeah, won by nefarious means,” Sam said darkly.

“All I did was engage you in pleasant conversation.” Anna shrugged innocently.

“How’d you lose yours?” Kensi asked Fatima, who shook her head.

“Oh, I folded ten minutes ago and started refereeing these two,” she said.

“Ah, nice to know that even if we’re not coworkers anymore, the crazy still remains,” Deeks teased, picking Caleb and Sophia up and toting them over to the dining room table. Kensi took Sophia from him, getting her settled in her high hair, while Deeks worked on Caleb.

Sophia clapped her hands together, babbling about cake and other things Deeks didn’t quite catch.

“Oh, those are so beautiful, Rosa!” Fatima exclaimed as Rosa emerged from the kitchen with a tray containing two tiny cake decorated in teal and white frosting topped off with white number one candles. She brought them to the dining room table as everyone gathered around, and Caleb reached towards the candles with awe in his eyes.

“Caleb, don’t touch. Hot,” Kensi warned him, and Caleb pulled back, repeating,

“Hot?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Let me get a picture of you all together,” Roberta said, gesturing for Kensi, Deeks, and Rosa to scoot closer to the twins and

“Beautiful.”

They sang an abridged chorus of happy birthday since the twins were starting to get antsy.

“Sophia, Caleb, blow out the candles,” Kensi encouraged then when they finished singing.

Caleb screwed up his face and blew hard, blowing out the flame and also spraying the cake with a good amount of spit. Seeing her brother’s example, Sophia let out a short puff of air, frowning when her candle stayed lit.

“Try again,” Deeks encouraged.

It took three more tries before Sophia blew her candle out and then she immediately stuffed a fist into the cake. Caleb went head first instead, getting a mouthful of just frosting.

“Oh, I don’t envy you guys tonight when that sugar crash happens,” Sam said, chuckling at their future misfortune.

“Totally worth it.” Deeks gestured to the twins, somehow already completely covered in blue frosting and cake crumbs.

***

Later, after everyone had left and the mess cleaned up, Kensi and Deeks sat on the couch, the twins between them, just taking a moment to themselves.

“It’s crazy to think a year ago, these two weren’t even earth-side,” Deeks said with quiet awe.

“I know.” Kensi brushed her fingers over Caleb and Sophia’s cheeks. “And now they’re walking, starting to talk, eating anything they can find, and getting into lots of mischief.”

“Yeah, they definitely got your sweet tooth.”

“Hey, I didn’t see you turn down that second piece of cake,” Kensi retorted.

“It was really good cake. If Rosa decides she doesn’t want to be a lawyer, she could totally open a restaurant,” he said, turning his attention back to the twins.

“We’re pretty lucky,” he murmured.

“The luckiest,” Kensi agreed.

[meredithbeckham]

i will meet you on another planet if the plans change

be on your own way, daughter.

[tea-cat-arts]

I'm willing to at least hear out most of the "xyz plot point is heavily tied to abc cultural context" brands of posts but the "wwx isn't meant to be read as morally gray" and "the western fandom made up Sizhui being wangxian's son" brands of post make me feel like my cultural ignorance is being used to gaslight me