#{ doc I don't even know what happened but it's totally your fault }

[the-real-rain-world-confessions]

is this a safe space

almost all of the "controversy" I've seen in this fandom has been the dumbest shit ever, and people are being HARASSED OUT OF THE FANDOM over it. seriously, I've seen all these "exposing ___ for being a predator" posts and then it's just a 17 year old making sex jokes with a 19 year old or situations where the "older person" genuinely isn't at total fault. not to mention the amount of times people have been accused of being "zoophiles" over drawing normal ass furry porn (especially of anthro slugcats). this is the Internet. porn is and always has been a thing, and it's not evil. it's not "ruining your fandom".

I don't even know where to start with the weird puritanical "all sex is evil and bad" thing going on in this fandom, or the straight up infantilisation of teenagers. Yes, 16 year olds know what porn is. yes, they look for it. no, they will not explode and die if they see it. NOBODY is hornier than the average high schooler, stop treating them like little kids who shouldn't even be allowed to acknowledge the existence of sex until they're 18 it's fucking weird (and for the love of god stop throwing "zoophile" and "groomer" around so loosely. those words have lost almost all of their meaning at this point, a groomer is NOT a legal adult who happened to mention the concept of sex around a 17 year old)

speaking from a place of genuine care and concern, so many people in this fandom need to grow the fuck up. not every friend group drama needs a Google doc and a public call-out post. teenagers/"minors" are not these angelic babies who can do no wrong and are free of consequences and are always the victims. you are old enough to think for yourself and make good decisions, and you are, in fact, capable of being in the wrong -- just as much as the young adults you claim are also old enough to know better. this mob hate mentality is destroying the fandom more than any amount of furry porn or teenagers making sex jokes

I tried very hard to shorten this as much as possible

.

[spacetravels]

I am insane abt noah too… I’d love to know some of your hcs or thoughts or anything you have in that doc you’ve written, if you don’t mind sharing 💓

[insert sickos meme]

YEAH i think in my meta i just wrote too much about how the it lives series is like. the heart of it is mc & the marshall twins. i'll die on that hill. and also ofc the entirety of it lives being about breaking cycles. & like ofc bias here as a noah apologist but here have some paraphrased bullets frm my essay LOL I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY:

Essentially my thesis is like. The Marshall twins: Noah was Jane's whole world and he’ll always feel guilty that he couldn’t save her. MC’s her best friend and the love they had for each other was strong and real and MC will always feel guilt and blame for her her death.It’s a fucked up little circle of grief and blame because they’re both like: Why didn’t I stop this/Why didn’t I save her/Why was it not me/This is my fault

the way the horror genre is often about loss… like the horror of It Lives lies in how painful grief is, and exploring how grief can manifest itself and pain breeding pain and stuff. and it's so different across the book 1 cast but i think noah and mc are so similar in just. they blame themselves and carry jane's death the hardest... and uhhh

the fact they’re in their senior year. And how after this they’re “grown ups” and they have to go to college or get jobs or both. And how redfield/jane represents the youth they lost and will never have again. And red/jane bringing the gang all back for one last game because there’d be no games after that--all of jane’s friends will have to grow up. All of jane’s friends will become adults and she’ll be left behind in this terrible limbo state where she’ll never get to move on the way everyone else could. Like they have to grow up, they can’t stop and stay and play games in the woods like they used to anymore because then they'd never let go of what happened to them. And the end scene where everyone, if they're strong, can declare they're not scared--that's it. They've learned they can let go.

And it aches and it aches so much in the finale when you realize that this happens for everyone EXCEPT MC and Noah. everyone grows up. They played together. They finish the game. They can move on. Their arcs are wonderfully done. But these two people literally don't have the option of that!

so sacrifice MC and Noah have that choice to make that like. They both can’t make it out alive by this point, and they have to choose (assuming like. you get the choice lol the tragedy of noah flying off the handle and killing mc is another thing entirely re: nerve mechanic and whatnot)

And like definitely up to player perception and completely fair at this point if ppl make their choice becuz Fuck Noah Marshall or other reasons to save MC lol no judgement but my thoughts on like. the choice is like.

MC dies, because MC thinks Noah has to live. Despite it all and no matter what consequences he has to face, Noah Marshall has to keep being alive because he’s spent his entire youth stuck in a limbo state of wanting to disappear and be gone and he can’t even have the grace of dying now. He has to live.

Noah dies, because Noah thinks MC has to live, because MC saved him. He’s made peace with his death a long time ago, and this was his fault. MC has been nothing but grounded and carries in them the optimism and belief that grief does not end in pain, but you carry it with you, and you live. MC has to live for the person who can’t

anywyays i'm like. i'm TOTALLY fine and having a NORMAL one

[thedawningofthehour]

Are you ever going to write out the kidnapping fight between Donnie and draxum?? I want to know more about it so bad. Was it a close fight? Did draxum even say anything or did he just start trying to grab Donnie

Oh! I did a long time ago, like before I even published the fic. Originally I was going to put it right before the last Donnie chapter, where he's hypnotized and 'becomes' Galois, but with the decision to put it after that chapter I just felt like it broke up the tension too much. In a bad way.

I also thought it was kind of unnecessary, considering pretty much all the information given during it is relayed in the story one way or another, but in retrospect it might have served to include it. It gives extra weight as to why being choked is such a trigger for Galois and why he frequently feels deprived of air when he's panicking. Not to mention it would have reinforced how Donnie's stuff was planted for the fam to find and Donnie didn't do any of that himself-apparently I wasn't super clear about it, some people were still confused at the end of the fic.

Regardless, I dredged it up from the master doc! This is literally first draft shit so don't get your hopes up too much-literally, the only thing I changed since typing it was correcting 'vibes' to 'vines', because I did that several times for some reason. It doesn't even have any intro. You can also tell that is was written very early in development because I hadn't even decided on what the twins were fighting about and was using 'what movie are we going to see?' as a placeholder argument. (they were going to see Captain Marvel) And it was before I started using accents while writing, so bō is just bo. I'm reading it over and I'm really not happy with it at all-it's very short, which is fitting, I wanted the readers to get the feeling that this all happened very fast and feel a sense of panic. But I'm not really getting that from Donnie, he seems pretty blasé about the whole thing. I've thought about reworking it and maybe publishing it as a sideshot. Meeeeeh. We'll see.

No, that wasn’t fair. He sighs. Really, Leo deserves to be full of it more than Donnie does. He’s good at everything. Practically effortlessly. He can fight, do sports, talk to people, pick up instruments and be great at them in a heartbeat, understand long division, and look great while doing it all.

Donnie can do science. That’s it. And he’s very good at it, but it seems like it’s becoming less and less useful to the team lately. He’s becoming less and less useful.

It’s not Leo’s fault that he’s gifted. It’s not his fault that Donnie’s jealous. Donnie’s just being an asshole.

An asshole who can’t even go see the movie he just staged an epic fight over. He and Leo had fought for so long they missed the start time of both their movies.

He pulls up the theater website on his phone. The next showing of his movie was in three hours. God, this was so stupid. They could have easily seen Leo’s movie first and Donnie’s later. It wasn’t like they ever bought tickets or anything. And to escalate the fight like that-ugh. They were both so dumb.

He clicks on the next day’s movie times, scrolling down to look for Leo’s movie. Then he realizes he can’t even remember what movie he had been so opposed to seeing.

Donnie groans. He should head home. Leo will definitely beat him, but maybe he’ll have cooled off as well. Maybe they can watch a Jupiter Jim movie on Donnie’s tablet and drink the wine coolers Donnie totally didn’t steal from Dad’s minifridge. Maybe they can-

Something purple abruptly enters his vision, smacking his phone away and sending it skipping across the pavement. Donnie whips his head around. “Hey!”

Another vine comes straight at his head. Donnie ducks and rolls forward, retrieving his bo. One button push, one swipe, and the vine is cut free.

There he is. The big blue goat-man, standing on the parapet and looking down at him haughtily. He raises a hand, sending a few more vines Donnie’s way. Donnie twists, evading and slashing.

“Look, I’m really not in the mood. Can I just pay you to pretend you lost and we do this another time?”

A vine wraps around his ankle, yanking it out from under him. Donnie swipes his bo down, freeing himself and pinwheeling his legs until he’s back on his feet. He blocks another vine, bringing up his flamethrower attachment.

“What? No big villain speeches? Not even any playful banter?”

“Sorry. Funny, joke-around Draxum isn’t here today.”

A vine shoots out and wraps around his bo, yanking it away. Donnie grimaces. Alright, if that’s how he wants to play. He dodges the next few vines, bringing his gauntlet up. He twists to free his other hand, bringing up the command to send the help signal.

Then one of Draxum’s vines snake around his gauntleted arm. Donnie shifts to slip out of it-but they suddenly constrict, bending, pulling-

And there’s a very loud CRACK! sound that seems to steal all the air out of Donatello’s lungs.

“I would have preferred not to do that,” Draxum says calmly. “But I can’t let you have that stick back. You’ll hurt yourself.”

Donnie reaches back, fumbles for one of the hidden compartments on his battle shell. He draws out his emergency survival knife and swipes, cutting himself free.

Fuck, this is bad, this went bad fast. He doesn’t know where his phone landed and one glance at his gauntlet confirms that the screen is busted. He can’t call for help like this.

He turns and runs. He can worry about his phone and bo later. He can worry about the broken arm later. He needs to get away from here.

And then his feet are off the ground. He twists to see Baron Draxum right behind him, his stupid little hands wrapped around Donnie’s battle shell. He tries to jab his elbow back, but he can’t get a good angle. He kicks, but if Draxum even feels it he doesn’t react.

Desperate times. Donnie reaches up and hits the emergency release on his shoulder.

His battle shell releases, dropping him to the ground. Donnie isn’t poised to land standing up, but he manages to twist to avoid jostling his broken arm too much. The landing sends shocks through his legs and his healthy arm, but he can deal with that. He needs to move.

He scrambles away on three limbs. He doesn’t know if he can stand up right now. He can’t afford to test it. He can’t afford to waste two seconds getting to his feet. He needs to go, get away.

He can jump. Would a fall from this height kill him? If he allows his shell to take the brunt, he might survive. He’ll worry about the injuries later. He needs to get away from Draxum.

He pulls himself up over the parapet. He doesn’t look down, doesn’t hesitate, just pushes-

A vine wraps around his throat. Donnie grabs at it, but it’s already lifting him into the air. He chokes. His vision goes hazy.

Then he can breathe again. A vine slithers up his body and wraps around his torso, pinning both broken and unbroken arms to his side. Donnie opens his mouth-but the vine that had just wrapped around his throat inserts itself between his teeth, curling around his head and coming back around to cover his mouth. Donnie kicks, but the vines have him in the air. Draxum motions for the vines to bring him in closer.

“I’m impressed,” he says, looking Donnie up and down. “Even though your true strength lies in your mind, your fighting skills have not suffered. Still room for improvement, but there always is.”

Donnie glares at the man with as much hate as he can muster.

“Now, if you will stop resisting,” Draxum says, opening up a portal behind him. “We have much to go over, and I would prefer not to have to injure you again. Come along, now.”

Draxum motions for him to follow as he steps into the portal, like Donnie has a choice.

[cranberrymoons]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @steventhusiast a billion years ago and more recently by @thefreakandthehair and @just-my-latest-hyperfixation🥰

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 49 under my current account, there are some fics for other fandoms buried deep within the depths of the archive which we WILL NOT DISCUSS at this time

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 128,515

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently just stranger things! I wrote one fic for Crazyhead this summer, a single-season Netflix show from 2016 (?) and that fic has 6 hits 😎 I'm also considering writing a top gun fic (entirely your fault @urmomsonfire) (affectionate) but no promises yet

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

get it off your chest

can't start a fire

so fondly today

something so pretty

i carry this feeling

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? yes!! I always respond to comments, even though it sometimes takes me a week or two. comments are genuinely so special to me and my FAVORITE thing is when someone reads a bunch of my fics in a row and I can follow their comment trail 🥹 I love comments

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I'm a happy endings girlie all the way, I genuinely don't have an answer for this 😅

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? so many of my fics are fluff-fest so I'm not really sure. maybe i carry this feeling because it's (currently) the end to a long future fic series and feels like a good buttoning-up of that story which is still being added to

8. Do you get hate on fics? someone once called me transphobic for having steve paint his nails in a fic (??) but that turned out to be a random anon from that twitter meltdown that was happening over the summer (i am not on twitter and didn't know it was even happening until after the fact)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? LMAO (yes, i write lots of fluffy goofy smut with feelings. if they're not talking and/or laughing a lot during sex, it's not a sage fic)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? no, I really struggle with the concept of crossovers in general. I don't read them usually and wouldn't really know how to begin to write one! but fics set IN the universe of something else (not a crossover where two different universe's characters interact) – I like those.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that I know of in this fandom

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes! but not in this fandom

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no, but I would definitely be interested if it was with the right person!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? I can't answer this 🫣 I will say steddie is the ship I've written the most words for

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I'm not sure I really have one that's out there right now. there are a few things in my google docs that might not see the light of day

16. What are your writing strengths? dialogue! good communication is so important to meeee and I have so much fun writing it

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I always feel like I struggle with scene-setting/imagery because I focus so much on character interaction

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I've written French dialogue in fics before (not in this fandom) which made sense situationally. I think it works as long as you make sure to translate in end notes and/or through context clues, so the reader doesn't have to keep jumping back and forth between google translate

19. First fandom you wrote for? early 00s, the wizards who must not be named

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? this changes depending on my mood tbh. my usual answer is either so fondly today because I love the energy of that fic or back in the new york groove which has so much pulled from my own life. I also had a lot of fun writing wanna help my worlds collide

no pressure 😇 @urmomsonfire @wynnyfryd @thisapplepielife @shares-a-vest

[chaoticstateofaffairs]

So...I am typing one handed...I may or may not have gotten angry at a situation I can't fix and put my fist through a glass table we have outside and then proceed to punch the side of the house (brick) several times but on the brights side, I don't think anything is broken.

Just have 2 get a few stitches (hopefully) and go home, bar the fact that hopefully they don't want 2 contact the psychologist in charge 🙄

But luckily I have a good group of friends who want 2 keep me out of the psych ward and have offered to clean up the mess I made before the docs want 2 do a house check 👍😃

Edit #1:There are no patients in the waiting room and only two cars out in the parking lot so hopefully this will be a quick in and out 😂

But the dreaded question at the front desk:

"Ouch, how did that happen? 😮"

"Uh...well, um...I...you see, I uh...honestly, I really don't know how to explain it to you. 🙂"

"O...Kay. Well give me your wrist so I can put the bracelets on."

"Ok. 🙂" (Extremely happy she didn't pry)

Meanwhile, Cat was off 2 the side just in a state of shock that no one pried. 😂

Edit #2: So, the waiting game has started and I've already been asked twice in the last 10mins if I'm sure I'm really not in pain and I've replied both times, "No ma'am, I'm not in that much pain, I promise. 🙂👍", and of course they find that incredibly odd but they will find out soon enough that this is not an abnormal occurrence for me 😂

Also, I'm pissing Cat off with the fact that I keep leaning down and untying her shoe but she still loves me 😂

Edit #3: Apparently it's bad morale for patients coming in and seeing one who's dripping blood all over the floor even though I have a wrap around my hand and it makes them not want 2 stay in here, so now I'm in the back waiting for the nurse and doctor 😂

Edit #4: Why did I put myself through this 🥲 I was gonna say something totally fucking disgusting but Cat deleted before I could hit send...oh well. 🤷‍♂️

Edit #5: I REALLY need a cigarette if my crazy ass is gonna sit here in this small ass room 🙄

Edit #6: Y'all know I'm crazy by now so I'm just gonna put this out here. I wonder what it would feel like 2 punch through this sliding glass door? 🤔

Edit #7: I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES IM GONNA HAVE TO FUCKING SAY I DON'T WANT THE FUCKING DRUGS! WHAT CAN'T THEY UNDERSTAND!!!! (At least they are referring to me right but that's thanks to Cat and not my scared ass)

"Sir, you need to take something or otherwise when the shock wears off it will be incredibly painful."

"I have told everyone who's talked to me about taking those things and I have said no, and my answer will continue to be no. So please, stop asking if I want some pain meds." (I was a little harsh with my tone but not what the way they put it)

"Sir, there is no need to get unruly."

"Un...unruly?! You have yet to see unruly but if you continue to try to give me those drugs that's when you will see unruly and if you give them to me without my knowledge you will also see a lawsuit, I have told all of you SEVERAL TIMES, I don't want those drugs, so please stop asking."

Edit #8: Nothing is broken, just bruised and going to be very sore, but I do need stitches, lots of them 👀

Edit #9: No, no I will not stop pacing in my room, THERE IS NO ONE IN HERE EXCEPT FOR CAT AND I, AND THE CURTAIN IS CLOSED SO NO, I WILL NOT STOP PACING.

Nobody can fucking see me, jfc! Now because of these jackholes pressuring me and fussing about my pacing that is affecting no one, I'm getting angry again and that makes matters worse cause then I get short with people, very short.

Edit #10: I'm about to go batshit, I want out, I'm slowly getting angrier at all the noise, at people, at this STUPID FUCKING INCESSANT BEEPING FROM THIS DAMN MONITOR THEY WONT SHUT TF OFF, HELL CAT HAD TO DO IT! FUCK! But I can't do a damn thing because it's my own fault that I'm here in the first place, I couldn't control my anger over the fact that there is a situation in which I possibly can not help in nor do I have fucking control over, which SUCKS and I'm trying, I'm trying so fucking hard but in all honesty I think they just want away from me and I don't blame them, I'm not good to be around. I don't know why tf Cat is till here if I'm being honest, it's not like I'm worth it.

Just...fuck.

Edit #11: I just want 2 hit the fucking wall until I can't do it anymore...fuck.

Edit #12: Doc is in 2 stitch Cal up and we will be out of here, nothing bad has happened to his hand just needs a shit ton of stitches on his left hand and just a small bit on his arm, nothing to major but enough to be serious and warrant a visit to the psych doctor tomorrow, but everything is looking good.

[ravenwraithe]

Chasing Pasts in Shadows

part 3 | part 4 | part 5

"Great, fantastic." Will massaged his eyebrows. "We can't do anything more today, anyway. We just execute protocol and leave, because we are already an hour late for debrief."

"And my date after that."

"I don't think your boyfriend minds you being late, Max, he worships the ground you walk on." Mike sniffed.

"Who said I'm talking about Lucas?" Max smirked.

"No, no, Max, you stay away from my sister, or Dad and Jonathan will chase you away with guns. She doesn't need another rebellious influence in her life, Mike is enough as is."

"Will!" Mike protested. Will ignored him.

"You say that like Hop doesn't scream '3 inches!' whenever I come over."

"When did that happen? I thought you were still in the 'silent glare' stage?" Will hefted the heavy bag, handing it to Max, so she didn't have to come in. 

"A few months ago, Byers. Wheeler watch out, he is coming for your title," Max took the bag easily, walking away. 

"What title?" Mike called back.

"'The Most Oblivious'!"

"Fuck off!"

"Can't, we work together!" Mike glared at her till she turned the corner.

"Mike, hold these tripods and these cables." Will handed them, their fingers brushing.

"Thanks."

His own duffle slung over his shoulder, they returned to the place of interest.

Max had assembled some of the components right outside the door, waiting for Will to take them in. He and Mike quickly got to work, Will putting some of the cameras on their stands, connecting with the EVP mics and putting a piece of bread in specific spots, while Mike pointed out areas of high activity to focus on, like the knife block, and the island counter, while Reyes kept watch from a corner, finishing up sometime before evening. 

"-and turn on the system at 11:30 pm by pressing the black button on the camera nearest to the door. That's for today, we'll be back tomorrow to get the footage, and put more up after investigating more rooms," Will explained, putting his layered flannel back on. They stood at the gate, while Mike and Max put the rest of their special equipment back into the trunk. "I hope you understand why. It's just we were short-staffed today-"

"Oh no, no, it's okay, totally my fault," Reyes smiled as he reached for his wallet, pulling out a bill. 

Will's eyes widened as he saw the '100' on it. "Sorry, I don't have enough change-"

"Keep it, boy. You kids have more use for it than I do." Reyes gave a nod and started back in.

Will shuffled back to the car, a hundred dollars in hand. Max and Mike were done with the packing and pulling the car around to leave. Will got in the passenger side, his regular seat when Mike drove.

“Reyes tip you?” Max asked him from the backseat, tapping away at her phone,

“Thirty-three percent.”

“Damn, he was seriously that impressed with our half assed job?”

“I don't know, at least he wasn't a Karen about us upping the pay for the rest of the investigation.”

“Do you think Dustin would know what to do?” Mike asked, pulling onto an asphalt road. Finally the dust road was behind them, Will’s asthma could rest now.  

“I think we all need to come up with a plan now. All of us have never had to be on-field at the same time, so first of all we need to divide tasks, and assign partners.”

“I don't want to hear strategy while returning home,” Max hit the back of Will’s head lightly. “If we have to talk about work, at least read the info Dustin sent about the Reyes so we don't have to hear his rant about being ‘the only one smart and well prepared, about clients, locations and hauntings’, because he will chew us out for leaving the cameras unattended and the battery thing, as if we should be able to tell the future.” 

Will rubbed his head, “Alright, alright. If you interrupt with your stupid quips, I'll push you out of the car.” Will pulled up the google docs Dustin had shared with him, scrolling down to get an idea of how long it was. “What the fuck, why is this thing more links than text?” 

“Just read. I mean, how should I even know? I just don't want to get another rant about ‘not following protocol’.”

“Half of these links are for different profiles on Facebook.” Will muttered, scrolling down. “There’s a floor plan here, now definitely Dustin will be pissed.”

“Is there anything about Emily?” Mike peeked at his screen.

“Keep your eyes on the road, don't look down,” He scolded. “I'll try  to find somethi- Oh here, a page for someone named Emily Grimrose. It says she was 48 and married to Javier Reyes. She was apparently a stay at home wife and made a lot of knitted things to sell. There’s an alarming amount of Etsy stuff here. The usual selfies with weird angles that make her have a triple chin, some family photos with people who look like her extended family, a trip to some exotic place with lots of water, baking charity sales- wait wait wait, here's something weird, she posts stuff with fun, cute captions underneath, but this photo has a link with it. And that link looks like it leads to some weird occult website. Lots of crystals, incense, herbs and the like.”

“What?” Max leant from the back to get a better look at the picture. “She looks like she's in a dentist's office.”

“Is there anyone tagged in the photo?” Mike asked, thankfully not looking down at Will's phone this time.

Will checked. “A doctor named Amanda Maguire.”

“Maybe it’s her dentist’s name?” Max ducked back to flop sideways on the backseat.

“No, no, the dentist’s office belongs to Robbie Matthews, who has posters all over the city. Very popular dentist, no doubt expensive.”

“How did you know?” Mike asked, driving around a slow car. “Keep up with the speed limit, dick!” He said through the window.

“Just reverse image searched it.” Will was confused. “Amanda Maguire is a gynaecologist. I've never heard of her, or seen her. Why would someone who has a lot of money go to a gynaecologist who isn't well known?” Will scrolled further. “Oh shit.”

“Cut the dramatics, Byers, just spit it out.”

“Emily was pregnant when she died,” Will said, holding out the photo where the caption proclaimed “It’s time for the second trimester!” and showed a smiling Emily with another older woman, Dr. Amanda.

___

why do i keep ending at weird reveals? also lmao will really hates facebook for some reason

i have the entire thing planned out but i do not know how many chapters this will be sorry ;-;

aight disclaimer: i dont know shit about the service charge in america for anything, much less ghost hunting, so i tried my best to calculate it by using the minimum wage and product usage and wear and tear, the same way id do it here. if its too less or too high, lemme know

as always, this was betad by free version of grammarly and hemingway editor, so point out any errors you find

i cant seem to post in time but i do post around 1800 ist (i swear im trying to be more regular)

let me know if you like or disliked something :)

[thespiritoflife]

Hi Love, I hope you're doing alright. I saw both of your posts about not doing well and getting medicine for your panic disorder.

And I wanna say. I'm so proud of you for taking that step. The first step of getting a doctor and getting the meds is always the hardest.

I do have a few tips, although I don't have a panic disorder. I have severe depression, anxiety and adhd.

(Down below is quite a bit of info. Perhaps even scary/nervewracking. And I'm not trying to scare you so I'm so sorry if I do. I just want you to know some things that I didn't personally know when I first started taking meds)

I want to note though. Keep your head up. Don't stop trying. The first medicine doesn't always work for everyone. The whole process is trial and error to find the one that works for you. So if it doesn't help, don't feel too bad yeah?

I know that for me, it took 5 different types before getting to Zoloft which works for me. And I'm currently on my 4th attempt to find one for my Adhd.

I read in your thing of if get weightloss from meds. I'm sure your doctor mentioned it but I want to mention it. If you're someone whose weight fluctuates and you find your self lose or gain 10 pounds. It's not bad. But keep an eye on it, make sure it's not a constant and only a sudden one and done.

For me. Zoloft made me gain 15 pounds. And after trying so many times to get a med to work. I honestly don't care. I'd rather be mentally okay. Ofc it's different for everyone but just know it's normal.

Something my doctor never mentioned, was be absolutely careful when it comes to missing your meds. Some meds it's totally okay to just drop it. But others like Zoloft and high dosages, If you cold turkey it, it can Hurt a lot.

If you get any symptoms of feeling sick within first two days of taking a new med. Stop. Idc what a doctor says "you'll get used to it" or "it's a gradual thing" absolutely not. The pain and suffering of getting sick from a medicine is not worth it. I tried powering through once before and I severely regret it.

There's good doctors and bad doctors. Good who actually do the research on meds and bad who go based off of old informational packets.

Idk about most meds. But if a doc says "this used to be used for this. But it's not anymore cause it doesn't work" DONT. if you get prescribed it. Research it before taking one.

I got prescribed blood pressure meds that my doctor said "isn't used to treat that anymore" and said it will help me sleep. I probably almost died cause I already have low blood pressure and got given meds to lower blood pressure.

That's all I can remember at the moment. But If you have any questions, you're more than welcome to come to my DMs.

I really hope you have a safe experience and find something that helps you. We all care for you and wish you the best.

Hello my sweet kind anon🤍 Whoever you are, this means lot to me, you coming into my askbox to encourage me. You're sweetheart🤍🤍

No worrries, you didn't scare me at all !! I am thankful for these tips!!

Yes, you're totally right!! I know, mental health is more important than number of your weight and I need to learn that. If I will be heavier but happier, I won't care too!!

Oh my, I didn't know that!!! That it isn't good to feel sick when taking meds! My doctor didn't tell me about it😶 Thank you so much for telling me, oh my god!! I just need to talk about my doctor about it! And I need to change my meds probably too! 🤔

Oh my god, I am sorry for you that you almost died!!! That's horrible but it's doctor's fault!! How could this happen??!! This stuff shouldn't NEVER happen. Some doctors really should think before saying!!!

But you know what, I am happy for you that you found meds - Zoloft and that it helped you!!

i just had phone call with my doctor, i am gonna take other meds!!

Thank you so much sweet nonnie, you're an angel!! And I am here for you too, if you needed me, anytime. I'll try to help you. I love you so much!

And you're damn strong!! Know that

We all can do that!!!!

[prismagpie]

Perhaps this would have gone a lot more smoothly if Ash were any good at announcing his intentions beforehand, instead of just blanking at the first sign of trouble and dashing off. It could have been due in part to that aforementioned hypervigilance that been instilled from such a young age, but it was largely the reslt of a simple lack of...any communication skills. A quick 'sorry, Mindy, but I need to not be in that tight crowded hallway' would have sufficed quite niceley but, hey, hindsight is twenty-twenty.

"Don't stand next to me while I say it then," is what Ash said instead, sticking his tongue out for good measure. If this had been anybody else in the world, the sheer volume of their voice might have thrown him off, but this was hardly unusual for this pair. "And, besides, you're not even a convicted felon! You're literally whatever the opposite of that is!" He inwardly cringed at his lacklustre wording, knowing full well he'd probably come up with a much sharper comeback an hour after this conversation passed. It wasn't like he wasn't sensitive to that whole situation either. Even if he wasn't very good at showing it, he'd been worried about Mindy the whole time they'd been on trial. And, when that last minute twist occurred and the trio were let off, he'd been so relieved he'd almost cried. (Almost. He wasn't a total baby. And, anyway, it totally doesn't even count if it's just your eyes watering a little and you dab them dry before anything happens. Just so you know.) That is to say, he wasn't trying to suggest they had no reason to be worried about their reputation. Oh, no, this was just another case of Ash offering an unhelpful correction.

Then, he was yanked to his feet. Ash figured he probably should have seen that one coming. "Uh, um, ahem, they're looking because you're yelling at the top of your damn voice!" Ash stammered, sounding quite utterly scandalised by the suggestion this was solely his fault. He pulled himself free from their grasp, careful not to stumble or trip in the Docs he'd refused to tie properly, and blew a breath of air upwards, tussling his fringe in the process. "Y'know, I was going to offer you some of these," he said, giving the box of Milk Duds a good rattle, "But not anymore." And then, suddenly quite convinced that Mindy would likely just snatch them off him if he was too annoying about it, Ash made an awkward show of shoving them into his pocket and brushing himself down. "And anyway, I suck at climbing. I clearly don't have the upper body strength of you and your weird treehugger buddy," he added, a little defensively. Look, Ash could admit when he sucked at stuff. It didn't mean he enjoyed it but he do it without much trouble. "Can't we go do literally anything else?"

Mindy didn't love the idea of the new security system as much as Ash didn't — however, they had been raised through enough bullshit through the Grim Fox to know that security didn't mean surveillance, and had figured out that the cameras in the hallway were different from the motion sensors throughout the actual apartments. ( However, that didn't mean some idiot or creep or both in a box wasn't watching their every move, entirely plausible given that the entire fucking fire squad were now the terrors of Seal Harbor. ) Needless to say, the fortune teller hadn't been in a pleasant mood. The town was neither singing their praises nor welcoming them back with open arms. They expected a pink slip for their job to slip through the mail slot any day now. Sitting in their chair at the Raven House or lying in their bed for the past weeks weeks had been greeted with a dyspeptic stomach from trying to digest the rocks birthed of their own remorse. Why were they pulling Ash into their stupid fucking vortex, like everyone else in their life? Once they were off scot-free, they'd been avowing to themselves to stay as far away from Mei as possible. ( Nadine's whole lifestyle was asking for trouble, it wouldn't make a dime of difference with or without them. )

This internal turmoil was how they found themselves storming after Ash Yoon, calling down the hall, "Hey! You don't get to ditch me as soon as you see me locked out in the hallway!!" Hot on his heels, their dark hair bobbing against their shoulders as Mindy walked after him, they groaned when he stooped into the low crouch of prey hiding from its natural predator. The caliber of their voice was invasive to the entire cinema library, causing everyone to turn around and look at them. "You wanna say that any louder when you're standing next to a CONVICTED FELON?" A disgusted scoff as they recognized all eyes on them, they stooped down in their Demonias to yank their roommate to his feet. "Great, now everyone's looking at us. Thanks, Ash. We'd be better off if we climbed the fire escape and pretended we were stuck in there like the rest of them."

[heygutlcssa]

I know comparing the original movie to the new movie is like comparing apples and oranges, but I really wish that the a.ss.ault scene was a little more in line with the original.

Yes, it's fine that Graziella is there. There's pros and cons to that too, especially considering that she kind of instigates it and then backpedals when it becomes not a them or us situation, but a women's situation. It's the one plane per the movie that they can relate one ( though graziella is such a missed opportunity as a character, especially since during this time period a good chunk of Italian girls were doing pretty much anything to not be considered Italian. Legit there's an internment camp that mainly housed Italian Americans during the war and continued to house Italians and other immigrants during the Red Scare up until it's closure in 1954 only like a few miles away. Ellis island was not the best of places.) That's a whole other discussion though .

I think what's hard about this scene boils down to two major issues for me. The first being that they took music from the mambo sequence instead of replaying america. The original Broadway show( it's even on the vinyl record. I'll have to double check if it's on Spotify too. The soundtrack has been messed with over the years for what tracks stayed on and in what order) had a reprise of America playing during this particular scene.

This is important because most of the action within WSS takes place within the music and the dialogue. In the new movie that isn't really there. most of the action is just that. Action. Whole most of the original is there, the new movie cuts out some pretty significant lines throughout the feature.

Anita was the driving positive force about pro-Americanism and assimilating. This whole scene not only shows violence around woc but how that American Dream was never intended for a person like her and the show puts that in the hands of the whitest jets possible. Characters that were more ethnic nonwhite ( like diesel, a-rab, and tiger, sometime it was mouthpiece in tigers stead) were not present for the assault. They were doing what they what they were supposed to be doing: looking for Tony. The remaining Jets don't bother to send someone out to let everyone else know that they found him.

And remember that in both the 1961 movie and the 1957 show Anybodys is an active participant in what happened to Anita, only backing off at the very end just as Doc comes in to stop it coming to fruition. Right as they do the symbolic backflip of Anita Anybodys breaks away. This is also another discussion for a different post.

What bothers me most about the new movie is that they not only played the mambo music instead of America's reprise ( noted this was changed in the special editions of the 61 film as well) but they cut some very important dialogue that happens right after.

Noted, most reviews and scholarly articles cut this dialogue out of their arguments too. Because if that dialogue is brought to light then they can't blame 100% of the violent behavior of the jets on the jets.

Which, in Anita's case, you totally can and still include the dialogue. This dialogue is important because it showcases what drives people to do these unthinkable things and while environmental circumstances play a factor, it more so focuses on the adults around them. On their own abuse and reaction to being abused. On how grief is handled. On acting out and being alone. It also has a lot to say on the age old argument " it's your generation's fault that everything is bad as it is. In my day we didnt act like that. In my day the world was better because my generation was better ."

No one likes to admit fault in themselves especially when unspeakable acts are involved. But no one wants to admit that they handed the capability for the unspeakable down to the generation after them. They will just be disappointed when the next generation fails to do better. Does this justify what happened to Anita? Absolutely not and it never should have happened. She was a victim.

So when she utters I'm am a Puerto Rican, you should feel this deep sorrow for her and her dreams, her hopes, and her life. I certainly didn't feel that in any viewings of the movie. I just didn't hit the way it was meant to. You can tell kuschner tried very hard though . I deeply appreciate that.

The dialogue that's missing which was replaced by Valentina's speech also, while hitting home, didn't have an effect like it was supposed to.

I didn't and still don't have a strong attachment to the 61 film, so I can't say it's my rose tinted nostalgia glasses that make me think this way. I just think the original dialogue hits harder and has a lot more to say.

DOC: When do you kids stop? You make this world lousy!

ACTION: We didn't make it, Doc

Two lines. That's all that needs put back.

[nothing-but-dreamy]

ON THE EDGE ~ Pt. 2

Characters: Gavin Reed x fem!Reader; Connor; Hank Anderson;

Warnings: cursing

Words: 2.643

Two days later, yn was back in the DPD. After a quick talk with Gavin and greeting Hank and Connor on her way, she sat in the glass office of Fowler. She was always good with her Captain. There was barely a problem between them. And yet, she was nervous in the way Captain Fowler skimmed through her file. His serious expression made it impossible for her to read him. She could feel Gavin's eyes burning on her back. Beside herself, he was the next in the row of the most nervous people.

"It's good to have you back, yn.", Fowler said and gained her attention back.

"Thanks, Sir. I'm also happy to be back. I've missed this beautiful hellhole."

"I have all the results and I have to admit, everything looks pretty perfect. The test results of your shooting training are amazing and the doc report gives you a go. Then, there's nothing else for me to do than to give you your weapon and badge back. Welcome home.", Fowler said proudly and handed her the mentioned things.

"Thank you, Sir.", yn stood up and took her gun, she had missed the feeling of the typical weight, and the badge. The shiny golden badge was her pride and joy. A sign of her hard work.

As yn took the badge, Fowler held the other side in his hand and waited for yn to look at him, "But, keep it slow. Get to know the new cases. There are some. And look after yourself."

"Of course, Sir.", yn promised and then, she took the badge into her hand. Finally, she was back in the game. Yn left the office and stepped into the middle of the room to raise her badge in the air like a trophy. Everyone was clapping and cheering with applause.

**

Like Captain Fowler had advised, yn took it slow. She returned to her desk opposite Gavin’s. Her desk. The small island in the middle of the DPD where she had her place among all the tough guys. The day after she got her badge back, she sat at her desk, studying some file about a Red Ice case as someone placed something in front of her. It was a small flower pot with a smiling face on it. A small green plant grew out of it.

Yn smiled broadly as she saw this small gift and looked up to see Connor standing next to her desk with a soft smile, “What’s that?”, she asked.

“I saw it this morning on my way to work and thought about you. The smile matches yours. It’s a small welcome back gift.”, Connor explained proudly.

“Oh, thank you. That’s so cute of you! I really like that. This desk missed something green and joyful.”, yn said and took the small flower pot carefully in her hands to take a closer look. Proudly, she raised the plant up to show it to Gavin, “Look, Gavin, what I’ve just got! Isn’t that cute?”

Gavin looked at her sparkling eyes and the broad smile but all he could do was to shoot her a small acknowledging nod, “Yeah, wonderful. I’ll get some coffee.”, he said and stood up.

Yn looked surprised at Gavin who just walked away with a sullen expression. She frowned, wondering at what it was that seemed to have bugged him this time. But then, she just shrugged her shoulders and turned back to Connor who was happy to see her smiling about his gift.

On his way to the kitchen, Gavin threw the greeting card into the next trash bin. Gavin had brought it the day before as he thought it would be a nice idea to give her something for her return but unfortunately, he had no better idea than this card. Since he had entered the DPD, he had searched for the right moment to give her the card. He even had written something in it, it was a quote from one of her most favourite movies. And then, the android had thwarted his plans. There was no way his silly card could keep up with the small plant Connor had given her.

The longer the coffee needed to be done, the more anger rose inside of him. Gavin clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white. He had been cool with the android because he had to but this move brought his anger against Connor back. As the coffee was done, Gavin took the cup, turned around and walked through the kitchen. On his way, a young officer bumped into him and let his files fall because of the impact.

“Watch it, stupid prick!”, Gavin grunted angrily.

“S-sorry, Detective.”, the officer said, totally scared and gathered the papers from the ground with shaking hands. Gavin glared at him angrily before he left the kitchen.

“Was that really necessary? You frightened him to death.”, yn asked, crossed her arms and watched her partner sitting down.

“Yes! Now, he knows where his place is!”, Gavin grunted angrily.

Yn looked at him with raised brows. Most of the time, such an outburst was triggered by other things than just a newby who ran into him, “Wow, you’re in a bad mood. What’s the matter?”

“Nothing. Everything’s fucking wonderful! If my mood is bothering you then, why don’t you go somewhere else? No, wait. I'll go. I need some air anyway!”, Gavin said with a fiery glance, stood up, grabbed his jacket and left the DPD without another word.

Shocked and slightly taken aback, yn looked after Gavin.

*

Yn studied some of Gavin’s open files to get back on track with the work. There was one case of prostitution but it was nothing too severe. It was just a girl who tried to come buy in these tough times with all the unemployment. She would be still there later. There was one file that caught yn’s attention. It was a statement from a junky who had snitched on his dealer to get off the hook. As yn read the statement, the name of the dealer: Joseph ‘the Joker’ was so stupid and silly that it burnt itself into her mind.

But the name rang something in the back of her head. Yn searched on her desk, plastered with different files, to find the one case file she had read half an hour before. As she skimmed through the papers, she found the same name, Joseph ‘the Joker’, mentioned again. It was an older statement but yn was sure that these cases had a connection.

“Gavin, where the hell are you?”, yn cursed annoyed. For hours, her partner was MIA. She had tried to call him several times but he never answered. All the messages she sent stayed unanswered. But yn needed someone to talk about the discovery she had made and to get a second thought about it. She let her eyes roam through the office randomly until her eyes landed on the other side of the room. She spotted one very helpful person for such a case.

“Hank, can you look at something?”

“Of course. What is it?”, Hank asked interested. Connor also stood up from his seat and joined them.

Yn sat on top of the free desk with the files in her hand. She gnawed on her lower lip. Somehow, it felt like betrayal that she was discussing this with Hank and Connor instead of Gavin but as she looked back, his desk was still abandoned, “I have three different files. A bunch of different statements. But in all statements, the same name gets mentioned. It’s a Red Ice dealer. I guess it’s just a small-time villain but… something tells me there might be more. Could you check that?”

Hank looked behind her at the abandoned desk and was annoyed that Gavin went away and let yn alone where she was just back after the long enforced break, “Sure, kiddo. Let me see what you have.”

Thirty minutes later, Hank looked up from the files, “You know what, you’re right. This Joseph is some dealer but his district seems to be very small. And I don't think he's the type of guy who's able to 'play' boss. He gets his stuff from someone. Wait a moment, I might have a statement about this guy, too."

"Does Gavin know about the connection?", Connor asked but as yn was about to answer, a loud voice caught all their attention. It was the hooker yn had seen in one of the other case files. Chris walked beside her to bring the woman in chains into a cell.

Yn jumped from Hank's desk as she saw Gavin walking right behind the couple, aiming for his desk. First, yn was mad, he had gone far too long without a word, then she saw his face and hurried over to him, "What the hell happened to you?", she asked, concerned and surprised as she saw the bloody lip and the red color on his cheek, maybe from a slap. Yn guided his chin more into the light to have a better look at his face.

Gavin moved his head out of her grip, "It's nothing. This hooker was a bit … rough as I tried to arrest her."

"You bastard! You tricked me! First, all flirty and then- bang! Some silver!", the prostitute yelled. Chris struggled to keep hold of her as she was about to jump at Gavin.

"Chris, lock her up for fuck saken! And throw the key away!", Gavin yelled and finally, Chris moved her through the DPD. Gavin slumped down on his chair, taking a file to note something.

Yn stood next to his desk with crossed arms, tapping with one foot, "So, wanna talk about this?"

"About what? That I do my job?", Gavin asked and looked up. He saw her glance and felt guilty but then, his eyes landed on Connor and the former anger was back.

"We're partners! You could have answered a call or at least, one fucking message-"

Gavin shot up and stared down at yn who didn't seem to be impressed at all. That was something he liked on her the most, that she never backed off of him, "Sorry, mom! I was busy, okay? Now, excuse me, I have some paperwork to do."

Once again, yn was surprised about this kind of outburst. She stared after him. A sad feeling spreaded through her. During her recovery, all she wanted was to go back to Gavin. To work with him. Now, as she was back, he seemed to be on the edge all the time. She wasn’t sure if it was her fault, that it was still because of the shooting or … if there was something else that Gavin bothered.

"Yn?", a soft, smooth voice pulled her out of her thoughts. Connor stood next to her and offered her a bunch of case files, "Your files. Hank added his one. Is everything alright?", he asked as he saw her glance.

"Yeah, yeah, everything's fucking wonderful. Thanks for the files...and for the help.", yn said and went back to her own desk.

Gavin left the cell area and watched the interaction between yn and Connor. Ice cold anger and fiery rage shot through his veins again. But he knew, he was his own worst enemy. Like always.

As Gavin saw yn sitting at her desk, studying some files, he felt like shit for treating her like this. Of all the people, yn was the last one who deserved his temper tantrums just because he couldn't be honest about his...

He had two options: one, he could tell her the truth or two, he would pull himself together. At the moment, option two was the only thing Gavin had. So, he had to make up for his latest behavior as best as he could.

Yn studied the file Hank had given her. She read the second statement from a guy who said 'Joseph the Joker is ticking drugs in Liberty park' and so on. Obviously, the junky had been on drugs as he had made his statement because yn had to read the same paragraph for the third time to understand what the guy wanted to say. She just started the fourth try as a cup of coffee appeared slowly in her field of view. A well known, tanned hand shoved the cup in front of her.

Without a word, Gavin walked to his own desk to sit down opposite of her. He had seen her observing glance and the one raised brow but she stayed silent. He knew her well enough to know that she tried to ignore him as a punishment. So, he did something he barely does, "I'm sorry for yelling at you. And I'm sorry for not answering the calls and messages. And for...leaving you alone.", Gavin said softly.

Slowly, and somehow disbelieving, yn raised her head to look at her partner. She blinked several times. A soft, lopsided smirk played on Gavin's lips and his green eyes, rimmed by dark shadows, were looking hopefully at her. Yn leant back in her chair and crossed her arms, "Alright, who are you and where's my partner?"

"I'm serious!", Gavin said but still with a smile.

"Me too! Gavin Reed never apologizes. What did he say once? Oh, yeah: "Apologies are for chickens…". And I have seen enough movies to know what is going on. So, tell me, alien from outer space, where's my partner?"

"Okay, I get it. You're mad.", he said and leant back.

"Yes, I'm mad. Just like that, you storm out of here without a word to do- what? Arresting this hooker? I read her file. There's nothing important in her case. Is it because of me? Did I do something wrong? Because, somehow I get the feeling that all this bad-vibe-thing from you is related to me."

Gavin felt how all the color drained slowly from his face. He feared she would notice something but not that fast, "No! No, it was not because of you. Look, this...girl was getting on my nerves, okay? Yes, the case is simple and I guess we let her go anyway but…", Gavin stopped and waited. He didn't need to wait long to get the reaction he hoped for. The sign that she was distracted with his lame excuse.

"But, what?", yn asked impatiently.

"During the last weeks, I tried to arrest her three or four times and each time, she escaped-"

"Oh, bloody hell! It's an ego thing? Seriously?", yn asked and started to laugh.

Gavin raised his shoulders as an apology. Glad that his trick had worked out.

"You will never change, I guess.", yn said, still grinning as she looked down at the file again, "Thanks for the coffee, idiot."

"Always, shorty.", Gavin answered and grinned as he saw her face.

"Don't call me that!", yn said serious.

"Stop calling me 'idiot', then.", Gavin fired back.

"Nope. It suits you perfectly."

"Then, you have your answer.", Gavin grinned. They touched their cups with each other to seal this mini fight as over.

"How's she doing that?", Connor asked as he watched yn and Gavin talking about something before they touched their cups in a silly way. In one moment they were fighting and in the other they seemed to be fine again.

"Who is doing what?", Hank asked, slightly confused, what Connor was talking about.

"Yn and how she's acting with Reed. How long are they partners?"

"Two years, maybe a bit longer. But don't get tricked. They weren't always like this.", Hank said but he raised his hands as he already saw the next question in the android's face, "I will tell you the stories one day but not now. Come on, we have work to do."

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

I hope you don't mind me bombarding your inbox with requests, but how about some Bdubs and Etho? Maybe some Shade-E-E's new employee training?

Thank u so much for this <3 I strayed slightly off prompt but I know you won’t mind :)

Also you are SO welcome to bombard my inbox with requests any time :D

...

  One afternoon, Etho is checking his profits at Shade-E-E’s like normal when he hears the door slide open. Glancing over, he spots Bdubs walking into the room, looking rather grumpy. 

  “Hey, Bdubs,” Etho says cheerily. “How’s it going?”

  “I got stung by a bee and nearly killed by endermites,” Bdubs replies bluntly. “Why couldn’t you have sent me to do free glass instead?”

  “Because everyone already has enough free glass. What people need right now is a lovely gardening service.”

  “But you always say there’s no such thing as “enough” free glass,” says Bdubs innocently.

  Etho considers this for a moment. “That’s true, I do say that. Okay, why don’t you take out some free glass next. But first, have you had your break?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Do that now, then. You can take out some free glass after that.”

  Bdubs beams. “Thanks, boss.”

  “No problem.”

  Relieved that his friend has stopped calling him his “delivery boy”, Bdubs heads over to the back of the shop and sits down on the chair.

  Less than a minute later, a message comes up on their communicators. 

Docm77 was slain by Tactical Tickle

  Etho snickers. “You put endermites in Doc’s base?”

  “Yup.” Bdubs grins, clearly pleased with himself. “His name was in the Refer A Friend chest so I spawned them in his bedroom.”

  “I’m so proud of you, buddy. Anyway, I’m just gonna step into my office for a sec to count profits. Call me if you need me.”

  “Will do.” 

  Bdubs relaxes in his chair in the shop on his own, proud of the work he’s doing. He’s being paid to bamboozle people AND he gets to spend more time with his best friend. To him, it’s a win-win situation.

  A few minutes after Etho leaves, the door slides open again and Doc himself storms into the room. Bdubs jumps up from his chair, a nervous expression on his face, and pushes out both his hands, stopping Doc from coming any closer.

  “H-Hey Doc!” he says nervously. “L-Let’s just talk about this…!” 

  “You put those stupid endermites in my bedroom!” Doc thunders. “After they killed me, I was trying to pick up my stuff and a creeper blew up the redstone I’d been working on all day! This is all your fault!”

  Bdubs’s heart skips a beat. He’s known Doc for years; he knows his friend is going to kill him, or at the very least hurt him. 

  “Doc, I’m sorry, I-!” 

  He breaks off with a cry as Doc lashes out. 

  But instead of the punch to the face he’s expecting, he feels himself get pushed backwards, causing him to trip over his foot and tumble to the floor. When he looks up, he finds Etho standing in front of him, facing off against Doc, sword in hand. 

  “Doc, I need you to leave.” Etho sounds steady and stern, but Bdubs has known him for long enough that he can detect a slight hint of pain in his voice. 

  “Your employee caused me a death AND-!”

  “Listen, I run this business,” Etho interrupts. “The buck stops with me. And I’m sorry about what happened, but there’s no call for violence. Please leave until you calm down, and THEN we can talk about it. But you don’t get to come into my place of business and assault one of my employees. Now LEAVE.”

  Doc’s narrowed eyes flicker from Etho to Bdubs, who gulps. He isn’t sure if Etho can beat Doc in a fight if it comes down to it.

  But thankfully, after a moment, Doc backs down and leaves.

  Dropping his sword, Etho turns to Bdubs and offers him his hand, but Bdubs freezes as he takes in his best friend’s face. “Oh my god, Etho…!”

  The skin around Etho’s right eye is bruised and swollen, and his eye is red and half-closed as a result. He gives a thin smile. “It’s okay, don’t worry.”

  Bdubs hesitantly lets Etho help him up. He winces as he gazes at his best friend’s swollen eye. “I’m so sorry, Etho…!”

  Etho shakes his head firmly, gingerly touching his eye. “It’s not your fault, Bdubs. Are you okay?”

  “Me?! I’m fine. Are you sure you are?”

  Etho hesitates, wrestling with whether to tell his best friend the truth or not. 

  Finally, he says, “I can’t see.”

  Bdubs stares at him. “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve always had vision problems in my left eye. And now I can’t see properly out of my right eye either.” His voice shakes, finally betraying his fear. “I can’t even see you properly and you’re right in front of me. All I can see of you is a fuzzy outline.”

  “Oh, man…” Bdubs hesitates, grimacing sympathetically. “I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

  Etho shakes his head. “No no, I can do it myself. You can take the rest of the day off if you like. I’ll be in my office.”

  Bdubs watches his friend very slowly walk towards the entrance to his office, almost bumping into one of the chests as he did. “Okay, okay, hang on a sec. Wait. Stop moving.”

  Etho pauses as Bdubs comes up next to him and lifts Etho’s arm over his shoulder. “Come here, I’ll get you down to your office.”

  “R-Really? Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, cuz without me, you’re definitely gonna fall down the ladder and break your neck.”

  Bdubs guides Etho to the entrance to his office and then down the ladder, constantly talking to his best friend to make sure he doesn’t miss a step or a handhold. When they get to the bottom, Bdubs leads his friend to the sofa set up in the corner and lies him down. 

  “Here, I’ve got an ice pack.” Bdubs takes out a piece of ice from his inventory and wraps it in his headband, before pressing it gently against Etho’s eye.

  Etho lets out a quiet hiss, before relaxing as the pain is relieved. “Ahh. I’m so glad Doc decided not to fight me, cuz he would definitely have kicked my ass. I can only just hold my own against him with ONE working eye.” 

  Bdubs watches him awkwardly. “So...um… How long have you had vision impairment in your eye?”

  “Left or right?”

  “You know exactly which one I mean.” 

  Etho clears his throat. “Since I got the scar.”

  “I see…” Bdubs hesitates, wondering whether to ask further. “How… um… How did it happen?”

  “I’m sorry, Bdubs, but that’s not a story I’m ready to tell yet.”

  Bdubs sits back, nodding. “Yeah, I thought not. Don’t worry, I totally understand. But if you ever want to talk about it, or anything else for that matter, I’m always ready to listen.”

  Etho gives his best friend a grateful smile. “Thanks, Bdubs. I appreciate that.”

  “Hey, I should be the one thanking you,” Bdubs responds. “You saved me from a nasty punch.”

  “Bosses always protect their employees.”

  Bdubs scoffs. “Uh huh, yeah.”

  “Well…” Etho chuckles. “While that IS the truth, I honestly didn’t even have to think about it. The instinct to protect you got burned into my code years ago.”

  “Ah…” Bdubs pauses, trying not to show his friend how emotional that one sentence has made him. “Well, uh… Th-Thanks. That means a lot. Anyway, you… you’d better rest your eye for a bit. I’ll keep sorting through the subscriptions upstairs; call me if you need me.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” says Etho softly. “I don’t mind if you call it a day and head home.”

  Bdubs shakes his head. “No way, I’ve got work to do. Besides, if I leave now, you’ll eventually get hungry and go looking for food on your own and inevitably get your ass kicked by that ladder.”

  Etho can’t help a laugh. “Your opinion of me is incredible.”

  “My opinion of you is extremely high. I just know you’re enough of a derp to try climbing up a twenty-block ladder half-blind and we both know how that’s gonna go.”

  “Okay, yeah, I can’t really argue with that.” Etho smiles. “Thanks, Bdubs.”

  Bdubs pauses at the ladder and looks back at his best friend. Etho is always so strong and capable, even if he can be a bit of a moron at times. But this incident has reminded Bdubs that everyone has weaknesses, and that’s okay. He’ll always be there for Etho and Etho will always be there for him, no matter what. 

  So he smiles. “Thank you too.”

[twinkleallnight]

Marshmallow

(Part-4) Frozen thoughts

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Liam x MC, Drake x ??

For previous chapters: catch up here

Thank you @bbrandy2002 for pre reading.

Tags: @ao719 @bbrandy2002 @choiceskatie @drakewalker04 @gkittylove99 @hopefulmoonobject @jovialyouthmusic @mrswalkers-blog @mom2000aggie @speedyoperarascalparty @texaskitten30 @no-one-u-know

Frozen thoughts---

There is no going back. I have lost Livy. I am listless as I lumber around the lawns when my phone buzzes. It is Liam. I take the call.

“Yes Liam?”

“Hey, can u distract the Big B?”, he says in a hushed tone over the phone. He is referring to Bastein, the head guard.

“Where are you?”

“In my room. And he is right outside my door. Can you please come over?” he whispers.

“ On my way.”

Bastein, chief of guards, holds a special place in our lives. He was my father’s close friend for most of his life though half his age. But after losing my father, he has been that fatherly figure in my life. Since king Constantine keeps busy in stately affairs, Bastein has been there for Liam and Leo too. As much as he loves us all he makes sure to keep all of his brats--us--in check. Bastein has taken care of the former prince Leo, who had a very risqué lifestyle and always found Liam as very easy one to deal with.

Liam has always been the golden boy. The most well-mannered, obedient and disciplined of us all. He still agrees with Bastein's suggestions. What surprises me is why Liam needs to get rid of him? I sprint towards his room and I am greeted by Bastein’s stiff figure standing in front of Liam’s door. He nods and allows me to enter.

As soon as I see Liam, all the memories from few hours back, come rushing in. He has a mischievous smile on his face, which fades when our eyes meet.

“What’s wrong?”, he voices his concern. I sit down on the couch with a heavy heart, placing my head down in my hands. “Is this the same thing that was bothering you earlier at the lawn party too.” I nod. He sits besides me, a hand on my shoulder. “ Can I help?”

“Yes, it’s Livy.” I gather myself and fill him with all the details.

He is remorseful about what happened. When I finish, he speaks,“ I am sorry. It’s my fault. I should have at least called her. But,” he claps on my shoulder, “ I will make this right. I will make it up to her. Please relax. I promise you.” I gradually calm down after his persistence.

“How are things coming along with the social season and the suitors?”, I ask after some time. I see the playful smile return on his face.

“ Yes, about that...We need to be somewhere right now if you can help me.” He grins.

A look at my wristwatch and it dawns on me, “Oh! I am sorry! I totally forgot. Riley’s Cronut sneak out!”

“Sshhh! Quiet! That man out there has keen ears” Liam says in a muted tone.

“ Okay! Okay!”, I say softly. “ So what’s the plan?”

“ If I move out from the main door, he will surely follow me.”

“So, where do you want to make a getaway from?” I ask him, puzzled.

“From the window?” He looks at me, quite unsure.

“Crown prince of Cordonia wants to sneak out through a window to be with his girlfriend,” I chuckle.

“Oh yes, go on and mock me. Yes, I want... no, I will sneak out to be with her. Now stop giggling like a lass and come over here and help me! Once I am out of here, you walk out of the main door, pretending you are leaving me back in the room so that Bastein doesn’t suspect anything.”

“Sounds good.”

I help him out the window. He lands on the bush down with a thud and an ah and a ooh! I control my laughter and turn back to get out. I make small talk with Bastein appearing normal and then head out to the lawns. Riley, Max and Hana are all busy plucking thorns from all over Liam’s clothes.

“You good there?” I ask, amused.

“Yes, except that I landed on a rose bush full of thorns!” He stares at me.

“ Well, you need to pay the price to sneak out.”

After the clean-up, we walk to Maxwell's SUV and hop in. I take the driver's seat while Liam sits with Riley in the back seat and Hana on Riley’s other side. We get down at a pastry shop near the beach.

Liam takes the ladies to a table while I follow Max to place our orders. As we carry our food to the table, Max makes his signature dance move with a shout-out, “Cronuts here we come!” The girls laugh and we all plunge into the delicacy. Hana, Max and Liam try them for the first time so all the comments start pouring in after the first bite.

“Do you know the recipe, Riley?” asks Hana in her smooth voice. I notice she has a soft and low tone even when we are out of court. I feel like asking her if she always speaks so softly.

“Ahaan!” nods Riley, her mouth full. She is just the opposite of Hana with her heavy commanding voice.

“Please do share with me.” Hana requests politely.

Liam perks up,“ Thank you, that means I don’t have to be punctured with thorns anymore for a sneak out.”

“Oh, Liam, I’m so sorry. I put you through this.” Riley apologizes since it was her mastermind plan to do all of this.

“Riley, I don’t mind the effort if the result is so scrumptious, not to forget the company of my friends.” Liam assures her.

Friends--with that word, I lose track of the conversation. Not all friends, I feel. Livy's forlorn face floats in front of my eyes. I start missing her again.

Absent-minded, I follow the group as they walk out of the shop.

“Bastein, We...I… How did you know?” Liam stutters. I come out of my trance and see Bastein standing tall, right at the exit point.

Riley and Hana giggle, looking at Liam fumble with his words.

“Sir, I have had the honour to train at the hands of your elder brother. I hope you can grant me that much. Liam snickers at the mention of Leo. “The king awaits in his study to talk to you about some urgent matter.”

Liam returns to his stoic self. “ Let’s go back,” he says and turns to the ladies, “ Thank you so much for this little outing. I apologise I will have to cut this short. I will see you tomorrow.”

“Max, I trust you will drive the ladies back to the palace safely. Drake, you may walk lady Hana to her quarters from there.” Liam assigns us the roles and I glare at him. He knows well I don't do well with strangers, especially a lady! I could have escorted Riley; I know her a little but Hana…! I have hardly spoken a sentence or two in these two meetings.

To worsen the situation further, Riley insists on taking the front seat and I have to share the back seat with Hana. We drive down to the palace. While I get out to walk Hana to her quarters, Riley accompanies Max to the parking lot. As he starts the SUV,Riley shrieks, “Full speed ahead!" Hana and I both giggle, then walk away.

“She is a live wire”, Hana says.

“Yeah, may be the right balance for Liam,”

I stop in my tracks realising my remark must have hurt Hana. She is a contender for the same position, after all. “I am sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Hana kept treading on, “ You don’t need to apologize for something that is obvious. I can sense the heat between them. And believe me, I am perfectly fine with it.”

She sets me back on heel by saying that. “But you are officially a suitor in this social season. How is it that it doesn’t matter to you at all?”

“Grabbing the crown to be a future queen is not the only purpose for some of us. In fact, even Riley is not a crown chaser. Some people live for love!”

“Oh, you mean you have already found someone in your life.” I make my presumption.

“No. There isn’t anyone yet. But when it happens, I wish it to be as strong as what Liam and Riley share. Until then, I aim to prove my worth at working with the state affairs.”

“I understand. The royal court is not a piece of cake and Liam surely needs to build a fresh set of representatives who serve the youth.”

She smiles and turns with a twinkle in her eyes. “Thank you for walking me down. It was fascinating talking to you.” I realise we have reached her room.

“Pleasure is mine, Lady Hana. Hope to see you again soon.” I curtsy and turn on my heels.

My steps get sluggish as I cross Livy's chambers. ‘Is she awake? Is she listening? She said she can make out my footsteps. Should I wait to see if she opens the door and comes back?’ The whirlwind of thoughts push me slowly to my room and I hit the sack without changing my clothes. I drift into a deep slumber without effort, tired of the day’s events.

---------

Morning comes with a new hope. We are travelling to Lythikos today. The snowy north duchy of Cordonia that belongs to Duchess Olivia Nevrakis.

There is much to do before I leave. I quickly pack my bags and then make a run to the stables, instruct my assisting vet for things to be done in my absence. I rush back to my room, load my truck and drive safely to catch up right behind Max's limo. Riley is with him in there.

Liam and Livy had planned an early morning drive as she is the host and I am hoping that they have got time to talk to each other and smooth out the creases.

I can feel the chill just by the sight of the snow after almost an hour-long drive. Max and Riley have already moved inside the cosy chateau. I pull on my jacket before getting out. As I drag my bags up the entrance, I hear her. 'The Guanaco call', I always teased Livy, saying her sharp laughter sounds just like the lama and she hits back saying 'what better comparison can I expect from an animal doc?’

I spin to find her ice skating with Liam at the frozen lake. She is beaming, radiant and glowing again. I feel a surge of fresh energy watching her.

But I am staggered, I stand there, I don’t know for how long, just with my frozen thoughts.

[nothingbutfangirlsmut]

The Girl Out of Time

Pairing: Bucky x Reader and Sam x Reader

Background: Willow Roffe was born and raised in Brooklyn. She lived her life as happily as she could with her two childhood best friends Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. When they both left her to join the military she tried to continue with life but that didn't get to happen for her for the simple fact that she meant something to James Buchanan Barnes.

Rating: Story will be overall MATURE but not every chapter. There will be strong language, talk of both mental and physical abuse, some good ole angst, and smut. There will be a warning at the beginning of the chapter when it includes smut.

Chapter 32

Tony had started to shake next to me. He was livid and I couldn't blame him. I would be too if I was him. He lunged for James but Steve was quick to grab him. I just stood staring at the now blank screen.

"No, Tony" Steve whispered.

"Did you know?" Tony asked quietly turning to face Steve.

"I didn't know it was him." Steve said simply.

I could see the lie in Steve's eyes. Apparently so could Tony.

"Don't bullshit me, Rogers! Did you know?" He shouted in Steve's face.

"Yes" Steve sighed.

Tony took a shocked step back. I knew right before it happened that this was going to be bad. I could see the crazed look in Tony's eyes. The next second he hit Steve so hard it sent him flying backwards. I knew that he had turned to James but I kept my focus on Steve. I ran to him dropping to my knees in front of him.

"What do we do?" I whispered.

"Don't let him get Bucky." Steve groaned as he got to his feet.

Steve didn't hesitate to throw his shield hitting Tony in the back of the Iron Man suit. Tony knock Steve back again then pushed a button on his suit causing a device to come out and wrap around Steve's ankles. I was frozen in shock as Tony grabbed James and lifted him into the air.

"He didn't have control. It wasn't him." I told myself harshly.

I knew that fact but watching him do it with my own eyes was something I will never erase. Just as Steve breaks his shackles a shot is fire that causes part of the building to start collapsing. Steve runs trying to get to James as the crumbling building separates the three men.

"Get out of here! Willow! Go with him!" Steve shouts at the two of us.

I force my legs to move. I jumped over the rubble landing right behind James as he turned to corner. I was hot on his heals. We run into another large room where James punches a button on the wall. The ceiling all the way at the top of the room started to open revealing a snowy blue sky.

"Come on doll we gotta climb." James says as he grabs onto the closest ledge.

I don't hesitate to follow him. He's climbing fast trying to reach the top and I'm right behind him following his lead.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." James says as we climb.

"Not your fault" I tell him.

"No, but still. I coulda went a millenium without you ever seeing that." He spoke in a strained voice.

We climbed another ledge. This time he stopped and waited for me to be beside him before he spoke again.

"You probably think horribly of me now. I don't blame ya but all I ever did was try to protect you." The look in his eyes was enough to shatter my heart.

I leaned forward grabbing his face then pulled him to me. His lips crashed against mine in a desperate, panicked kiss.

"Nothing would ever make me look at you horribly." I whispered.

"We should keep moving." He said softly.

I nodded as he started to reach up to the next ledge. Before I even touched the metal Tony came out of no where kicking James hard. He fell down several ledges landing with a thud.

"Jamie!" I scream about to jump down to him.

Tony moves to blast James but Steve is between them with his shield. A breath a quick sigh of relief as I move to help James back up.

"He's not gonna stop. Go. Both of you." Steve said glancing between us.

Steve moved to keep Tony busy as the two of us continued upwards towards the opened ceiling. I could hear the fight below us but I forced myself to keep my eyes forward. Keep moving. Keep climbing.

"Almost there doll." James panted.

He was one ledge ahead of me. He grabbed the top of the opening starting to pull himself out as an explosion went off to his right. The opened part of the ceiling groaned then fell back down with a crash and a strong gust of wind that knocked both of us back down all those ledges. I hear James land with a thud and a groan but I'm still falling. When I do land everything goes black.

Every bone in my body feels broken when I come to. I groan forcing my eyes open. The sight in front of me has me Sitting up straight instantly. All thought of pain and injury gone. James is on the ground several feet away from me. His metal arm blown off. Steve and Tony are throwing punches at each other. This is insane.

Tony lands a nasty punch sending Steve to the ground. I try to pull myself to my feet but I only fall back down. Steve sets up on his knees between Tony and James. His face is bloody and he's panting.

"He's my friend." Steve says in exasperation.

"So was I." Tony said coldly.

I force myself to my feet as Tony picks Steve up then throws him against the wall. The captain groans as he body crumbles to the floor.

"Stay down. Final Warning." Tony warns him.

I take a step forward but my legs go wobbly and my vision blurs. I drop to my hands and knees. I blink barely making out the blue outline staggering to his feet.

"I can do this all day." Steve says weakly.

Tony steps back putting his red metal covered foot right in front of my blurry eyes. I reach out and grab him then give a hard tug. He's distracted turning around to look between me and James trying to figure out which one did it. Steve lunges grabbing Tony then throwing him hard to the ground. I crawl over to James' blurry figure on the ground.

"You alright?" I ask softly.

"Could be better." He hisses.

I hear a loud breaking noise then a grunt and a groan. I turn my head trying to blink away my blurry vision. It doesn't work. From what I can tell the fighting stopped. A few seconds later a dark blue figure rose to his feet. The scraping of metal told me he had picked up his shield. He stepped over to us. He helped James and me to our feet grabbing both of us around the waist. He started to walk away guiding both of us with him.

"That shield doesn't belong to you. You don't deserve it. My father made that shield!" Tony shouted from behind us.

Steve stopped walking. There was a sound of metal clattering to the ground then we were walking again. He had dropped the shield. He gave it up. What has happened to us?

Steve gets us back to our seats on the jet as my eyes finally start to clear. I keep blinking over and over trying to clear them. When they are clear again Steve is kneeling in front of me.

"There's something I gotta do real quick then we will find a place to get you two patched up." Steve told me softly.

"I'm fine Steve but he definitely needs it." I said nodding to James.

There were light footsteps then Steve was on his feet.

"I might know a place." A familiar thick accent said.

I turned in my seat to see T'challa in his Black Panther suit, all but the mask.

"I heard you inside. I know your friend didn't kill my father. I can help him. My people can help him." T'challa explained.

Steve and T'challa shook hands before the king departed out jet. He was waiting on us to clear out so he could inform Ross he'd caught the real bad guy. Steve didn't tell me where we were going until we had been flying over nothing but ocean for several minutes.

"Sam and the others are locked up out here. We gotta get them out." He said softly.

I immediately agreed with him. He had me take control so he could slip in and out of the prison as quick as possible. I kept the jet running and ready to go. When he returned he had Sam and Wanda. I didn't question him about the others. I knew there had to be a good reason he'd leave them behind.

When we entered Wakanda I was in total shock. This was nothing like what we'd been told. It was just suppose to be a country of farmers but clearly there was a bit more going on. Steve landed the jet right outside what looked like a palace.

"You two stay here. We won't be long." Steve ordered Sam and Wanda.

They both nodded. I stepped over to Sam then hugged him tightly.

"God, its good to see you." I smiled up at him.

"You too beautiful." He said with a charming smile.

"We'll be back." I told him then ran off to catch up with Steve.

I accompanied James into the room to see the doctor while Steve waited in the hall. James sat on the table while that man looked over everything, not just her metal arm.

"Doc, could I ask you something?" James asked suddenly.

"Sure" the man said nodding.

"Do you have the technology to put me back under? Freeze me?" He asked glancing over at me nervously.

A young woman suddenly appeared next to me making me jump.

"Why would you want to do that Sergeant Barnes?" She asked him.

"Give you time to figure how to get this Hydra shit outta my head." He said with a pained expression.

The woman shrugged.

"We can put you back in stasis if that's what you wish. I can work on some brain technology to help you when you next come out." She told him with a told.

"Good, do it" he nodded at her.

"Wait, are you serious?" I asked him stepping forward.

"Sorry doll, but I think we both know it's for the best." He said softly.

I didn't know what to say so instead I left the room. Out in the hall I told Steve what had just happened. He hugged me tightly but I wasn't as upset as I thought I would be. I already knew what I was going to do. What I had to do. This time everything would be different. The two of us walked back into the room just as the doctor and the young woman walked away from James.

"You sure about this?" Steve asked James.

"I can't trust my own mind. So, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head, I think going back under is the best thing. For everybody." James explained.

"You want to go tell the others? I'll be right behind you." Steve suggested.

I chuckled softly making both men look at me in confusion.

"Sorry Stevie, I'm not going anywhere." I told him shaking my head.

"What are you talking about?" James asked.

"I'm not leaving you. I don't care how long it takes. I'm gonna stay right here. I'll help them if I can but I'll be here by your side. I'll be here when you wake up. I'm not gonna let you be alone. Not again. Not ever again." I told him grabbing his hands and squeezing reassuringly.

The small smile that appeared on James' face warmed my soul. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. I stood next to Steve as they put him inside the chamber. We watched through thick glass.

"Will you tell Sam I'm sorry?" I asked Steve softly.

"You know I will." He nodded.

"Call me when you can. I'll keep you updating on everything." I told him.

He nodded then kissed the top of my head. A few seconds later he was gone. I was left standing in front of the glass watching James be frozen once again. But it's okay. This is not the end. When he wakes up we'll have his fix for the brain washing and I'll be here to help him through it. This time we can do things right. Live out a peaceful life here. A peaceful life with James Barnes.

—

[omegangrins]

Chibnall, Children, Choice and Consequence

Allow me to introduce a companion piece to A Treatise on the Doctor:

It's pretty simple:

Chibnall knows what he's doing and is playing a long game to show how the Doctor needs to take more responsibility.

Let me start off with my favorite examples. That's right, plural.

Every single villain 13 faces is never defeated, merely pushed away from causing them any immediate problems. Tim Shaw being the prime example.

1&10. Seriously, Tim Shaw. Her plan was to use his own bombs on him and then teleport him off the planet. Even without Ranskoor Av Kolos, the Doctor should have thought to check in on him. Especially after The Ghost Monument showed the Stenza were a greater threat than she knew. She still hasn't even checked up on WHAT THE HELL THE STENZA ARE! They sound worse than Daleks but naw, let's go rain-bathing in the upper tropics of Canstano instead.

2. Ghost Monument. We saw the END of an interuniversal race. What the fuck is the beginning that got them there? Who is Illyn and how and why did he orchestrate a super race?

3. Krasko. Sent back in time. Really, Doc? Not gonna take a look at the device and see where Ryan sent the prick so you can double check that he's not gonna cause anymore damage?

4. President Trump analog. Ooooo, you looked at him menacingly, Doc, that'll show him!! Not like he's gonna KEEP DOING ILLEGAL SHIT LIKE THIS.

5. The Pting. She literally shunted it off ship to be dealt with by someone else BUT DOESN'T GO BACK TO BE THAT SOMEONE ELSE ONCE SHE HAS HER TARDIS. That's like leaving a living nuke floating around after sweeping it under the rug while you fly off to Paris.

6. The Pakistani-Indian conflict still happens and millions still die. Not her fault but still....

7. Kerblam. Sure, Charlie's terrorism was solved but not the underlying problem that led to it. Humans still can't work because corporations like profits over people.

8. Similar to the Punjab, how you gonna solve sexism, classism and all the -isms?

9. WHY WAS THE SOLITRACT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE??!! It's been around since before the universe. Why'd it decide to come back now? It's a whole universe trying to hug our universe to death. Maaaaaaybe we should check out why.

11. She's gets a pass on the Dalek. Fucking impossible to eradicate them.

12. The Master!!! Finally she checks up on something after the adventures... and it's horrible. With everything gone to shit in her absence. Seeing a pattern yet?

And Barton? And the Cassaven? They didn't disappear into smoke.

13. Multiple Earths being multiply fucked. Remember when I said the Doctor couldn't solve racism, classism, sexism, or any of the other -isms? Starting to look like she needs to TRY.

14. The Skithra FLY OFF after getting hit by a laser beam. That kind of thing tends to piss people off. Even if they're idiots using other's technology.

15. Jack. The Judoon. The Ruth Doctor. All things I'd start checking out if I had a time machine BUT

16. WE CAN'T cause the TARDIS emergency alert is going off and we need to hurry up and run and solve this problem before we run out of time in our TIME AND SPACE MACHINE. Leading to another problem the Doctor could help solve but won't. Plastic and over-consumption.

17. Oh yeah, let's trap two Eternals from another universe in the same place. There's NO WAY that could ever turn out bad.

18,19,20. And again. Cyberium. Pushed off Shelley onto herself and onto Ashad and onto The Master.

That's almost 20 "enemies" the Doctor still needs to deal with.

Oh, not to mention that they let UNIT go defunct because they didn't have the forethought to ask if they needed any money in their alien fighting budget. After asking for an office, a desk, and a job. Kinda funny that way, aren't they?

I hope by now you've gotten the idea that this is VERY deliberate. This is Chibnall laying down some very heavy pipe to smack the Doctor like a clothesline. There isn't a one of these situations that can't come around to bite her in the ass.

Barton, Roberts, Skithra. These are all very loose strands for a time traveller like the Doctor to get tripped up on. Chibnall's past episodes prove it. They're all about the Doctor learning how to take responsibility.

42: The Doctor almost gets Martha killed and almost gets himself killed trying to fix it.

The Hungry Earth: The Doctor (a thousand year old "adult") tells Elliot (a 10 year old kid) that "Sure it's totally fine to go get your headphones while we prepare for an approaching unknown alien force." And 11 rightfully gets his ass chewed for it by the child's mother when the kid goes missing because OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS, JACKASS!

Cold Blood: I could write an entire essay about the Doctor's guilt over the Silurian/Human conflicts they've witnessed, but I don't need to. Because every single Silurian centered episode written in the new era is from Chris Chibnall. And you can feel the sad knowledge of Classic Who spill through. He KNOWS how many times the Doctor has fucked up with the Silurians (about 8 times in television format. And it's rough everytime. Rough.) and he writes those episodes like an apology on behalf of the whole human race. And the Doctor. You know why people are put off by Warriors of the Deep? 5 releases a gas that melts the Silurians. And though it's cheesy, the idea and execution is still horrible.

Add to that if the Doctor hadn't stopped to check the crack, then Rory wouldn't have waited and been around to be shot then absorbed by the time crack.

Power of Three: An entire episode about how the Doctor has a problem slowing down and really taking account of the lives of their companions.

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship: The Doctor actually tries to be responsible and pick the right people for a job. For once. But gets angry when they realize it's too late and there's another bunch of Silurians they failed to save. Classic!

Like I said, if you can't see the pattern, you're not paying enough attention to your responsibilites.

Which leads me to the why.

When you fly around time and space for thousands of years, you develop a few duties of care along the way. In every situation, you're the oldest. Technically the only adult in terms of experience. You have a responsibility to act a little less rude and be a bit more aware than needing cue cards to tell you that you should be sad about things around you. And that's the purpose of 13. She's unlucky but learning. Like 12 telling himself something with his face he couldn't say out loud, 13's instincts are leading her to a new place for the Doctor: being a caring, responsible person. Not so much laughing hard or running fast, but being kind. It's the one thing they recognized as a problem in themselves when seeing 1. Being a Doctor is about being kinder than that. Just because you HAVE to saw someone's leg off, that doesn't mean you can't wait a little and comfort them before you do it.

You wanna know what gave me every faith in Chibnall showrunning Doctor Who? 13 staying for Grace's funeral.

Do you understand how unprecedented that is? This is the same person who never said Goodbye to Jo Grant as she got married and fucked off into the night. The same Doctor who said, "I don't do domestic.", did it with Rose a regeneration later, and then closed himself off to everyone but a married couple he felt guilty about who ended up birthing his wife. Have you any idea the number of funerals the Doctor should have the common decency to sit through? This many.

So for 13 to stay around for the death of a woman she has only just met and not only that, BUT call out Ryan's father for not doing the same, it shows tremendous character growth. It's taken millennia but they're still changing.

Something similar happens with Rosa and The Witchfinders. Realizing that there a lot of companions who have been in situations that are sometimes worse than aliens, but they still manage to make it through. So she needs to buck it up and persevere for everyone else.

That's where her anger comes from, and really it's one of my favorite traits on her. It reminds me of 7. Someone impossibly old and impossibly kind saying to hell with it and at least having some fun with the evils who drag us through the universe. And just like Cartmel planned for 7, 13's past will come to haunt her.

That's where children come in. Most of us are crying babies to the Doctor.

There's this thing you notice most in British shows about answering the question directly as asked. Someone says "Are you sure?", you answer "Sure". That's a direct acknowledgement that you heard the question, understood it, and processed it enough to respond in a manner directly correlating to the question asked. Yas and Graham got it and said "Sure" but Ryan missed it and said "Deffo". This is like Elliot with the headphones. The Doctor should have immediately been like, "Okay, Ryan, it's obvious that you're still dealing with the trauma of your grandmother's death and probably not processing things on a logical level. I said "Are you sure?" Not "Are you deffo?" Because we are most definitely not deffo, Ryan. Graham, you wanna help here?"

I'm being sarcastic for points sake but you understand the idea. The Doctor knows better and has a responsibility as such. She should've really sat down with Ryan and Graham and seen if there was a better way to process their grief.

Because I'm fairly certain that "Deffo" is gonna lead to Ryan's death and Graham's cancer resurging as time cancer (I don't know what time cancer is. I just know it's bad.)

And that is gonna piss Yas off. Which will give you all that character you think she's missing (she isn't. Her character is in her subtleties and silences.). That's WHY her character is a police officer (like how does no else see that the man who wrote Broadchurch wrote an inspector character companion?) Imagine you're Yaz and you see the Doctor flying around in a big, magic box that says POLICE. As a fellow officer, you're gonna expect some basic safety protocols.

Like do a background check on everyone flying in the TARDIS to know whether they're stable enough (mentally, physically, emotionally) for time and space travel. It's no picnic. These people are going to go through hell. A little vetting and planning like Time Heist or Dinosaurs on a Spaceship goes a long way.

Secondly, full fucking disclosure.

"Oh. I can't die because I change my body. Oh. I have arch enemies that will try to kill and torture us any chance they get. Oh. My home planet is full of the biggest assholes in the universe and I'm including my arch enemies."

Third, police like to do this thing called "check-ups" where they go back to the scene of the crime in order to see if there is any more information that can be gleaned which you might not notice when you are busy running around trying not to be killed... Like, the Doctor has the perfect machine to do this with, but nope. Adventure done, run to the next place!!

These are all things you'd expect any reasonable person to do and say when taking others flying off into time and space and "helping". Even if they are an idiot passing through and learning. Especially when you consider the Doctor is vastly older and more experienced than everyone they encounter. They SHOULD know better. And they've got the lifespan to slow down. It's not like they need to be in a hurry because they're going to die at any moment like humans. The Doctor could easily stay for tea and it would be less than a drop in their lifespan.

Now, as usually is the case when I make these theories, I have a parts 1,2,3,4 and 6. There's allways this 5th piece I miss but I manage to get at the end.

But the 6th piece is the Timeless Child. The Doctor isn't a Time Lord anymore. They're not beholden to those people and ideas anymore. Even moreso, those people basically raped her childhood for their own gain so it's not like you'd really listen to them and their "policy of non-intervention".

I'm sensing a coming Trial of a Time Lord season (even believing these two seasons are the opening statement and preliminary evidence of the trial itself) wherein the Doctor finally gets the turnaround 6 deserved. A Trial of the Time Lords, if you will.

"In all my travels through time and space I have battled against evil, against power-mad conspirators. I should have stayed here! The oldest civilization: decadent, degenerate and rotten to the core! Power mad conspirators? Daleks, Sontarans, Cybermen — they're still in the nursery compared to us! Ten million years of absolute power: that's what it takes to be really corrupt!"

This is what it's all coming down to. Chibnall's takedown of the Time Lords. And The Master is going to play the most crucial role of all.

They're going to be revealed as an Ux alongside the Doctor and show how the only constants they have in this universe are each other and it's about damn time they work together and tell these high collars to eat Schitt while they explore every star and planet they can find.

Come on, the episode is called The Timeless "Children". If it was just the Doctor it'd be called "The Timeless Child". The Master says as much with the misdirect line, "built on the lie of the Timeless Child." since we see two kids playing in that flashback.

"Since always. Since the Cloister Wars, since the night he stole the moon and the president's wife, since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie, can you guess which one?"

Now we know which one was a lie, we know the Master HAS known the Doctor since they were a little girl. THAT little girl...

But this is all just speculation. It's not like Chris Chibnall could have been thinking about this for the past 40 years and was given a blank slate to do whatever he wanted for five years on his favorite TV show. If y'all want to think he took those reigns and is choosing to make things worse...

Well then you don't know much about responsibility.

I'll let the man himself tell you about it.

"Very early in my career,” says Chibnall, “someone told me that you learn more from a failure than you do from a success. And then I lived out that phrase for a year in Los Angeles. I learned that I would not work that way again or be put in that situation again.” The essential lesson was: “You either have to be in total control of a show or working with people who share your vision and will work with you to achieve it. Also, never work with 13 executive producers.

“Camelot was the classic case of too many cooks. It wasn’t a harmonious set-up and I think that does manifest itself on screen.

“I had a fantastic cast but you have to be free to tell the story you want to tell in the way that you want to tell it. What ended up on screen was not what I wanted and so it is a blemish on my CV.”

Credit to @thirteenthdoc

“You immortals - so entitled, so spoiled. You never clear up after yourselves and you always leave stuff lying around.” - Thirteenth Doctor in Can You Hear Me?

[dovesandsparrows]

D & S Fab Collab Part 8 (Season 2 Finale)

( first entry - previous entry )

She was smirking. Angela was not.

The bar on the bottom left of the screen filled quickly as the files sent. Every piece of her ‘research’ on nanotechnology and cellular and molecular regeneration travelling through the secured server. Every piece of research painstakingly edited, words replaced, numbers crunched differently. They would create results if followed, of course, but it would be flawed. Flawed enough, hopefully, to ensure that actually attempting anything would result in disaster. At the least, frustration.

“It’s a pleasure doing business with you, Doctor Ziegler,” Moira’s voice was as smooth and arrogant as she remembered. And to think she used to admire this woman and her tenacity, her contribution to scientific advancements. In hindsight, she should have seen something like this happening. 

She wanted Genji home.

“Where is Genji?” Her voice was quiet. 

Moira stepped aside, gesturing with a flourish at Genji strapped down behind her. He had no visor as he stared at Angela through the screen, giving her a glimpse of the frustration and the worry in his eyes.

“We did what you asked, Moira,” she said. “Now give him back.”

“Such a lack of patience,” Moira mused as Sombra materialised beside Genji. “What else about you has changed while I was gone, I wonder?”

“Hey Doc,” Angela’s eyes were drawn to the hacker standing beside Genji. “You know, we never said we’d give him back unharmed…” 

She froze as Genji snarled. Her hand, hidden from their view, twitched. Her thumb hovered over the holographic button, a signal that would send the strike team in to attack. “Don't…” 

Sombra howled with laughter as Moira’s smug look worsened. “Can’t you take a joke? You got to live a little, Doc.” 

Sombra patted Genji on the shoulder, “In one piece.” She waved her hand, prompting a map onto the screen with a location pinpointed. “We’ll drop him off here. Tell your attack team to grab him, or you can go pick him up yourself, whatever.” 

The screen blinked out, Sombra’s infamous logo flashing for the briefest of seconds. 

It was another hour before the strike team, led by Jack and Lena, made contact to inform them that Talon had arrived at the rendezvous location. Another three hours before the Orca arrived on the base, creating a grand total of four hours for Angela to worry that something might go terribly wrong just when they were so close. 

Zarya was the first to disembark, followed by her hacker friend who had agreed to help ensure that no part of Genji’s cybernetics and internal database was tampered with. They handed Winston three micro-locator chips.

“Sombra must’ve attached them to him at some point,” Lynx Seventeen said. “I’ve triple checked to ensure that their last recorded geolocation was at the rendezvous point, if not about a kilometre out to when we left.” 

Hana and Lucio were the next to disembark, patting her back and telling her that see, everything’s okay and that he’s okay. 

Jack and Genji were the last to leave the Orca, talking quietly. Angela could clearly see Genji’s beautiful scarred face, almost all the tension she felt in the last God knows how long finally leaving her.

Almost. 

They made eye contact and she felt her heart fall to her stomach and jump itself back up again. She barely noticed the clack of her heels as she ran across the hangar and up into Genji’s arms, practically shoving Jack out of the way.

“We’ll leave you to it, then.” Jack said quietly, rubbing the shoulder she barrelled through as he walked off.

Genji ran his hands through her hair as she pressed closer to the cool metal of his cybernetics. He murmured softly into her ear, even going so far as to press kisses against her head. He had never done that before.

“Angela…” 

She would not cry. He had come back to her in worse conditions back in his Blackwatch days, and she never cried then.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” she said against his shoulder. “I should probably run some diagnostics on you just in case, though.”

“To your lab, then.”

“Yes.” 

Neither of them moved. They stood there, wrapped together so tightly it was like they’d never separate.

“Um…” Angela murmured.

“Oh, right, sorry.”

“No no, it’s okay.”

“We should probably-”

“Yeah, we should-” 

They awkwardly disentangled themselves, smiling shyly at each other before walking away from the hangar. 

It was a few minutes walk to Angela’s personal lab, filled with small and discreet touches here and there; polite, happy and sly (Angela would have to have a word with Jamison about that) smiles from friends and agents they walked past; and longing glances, each trying valiantly to avoid getting caught by the other. 

They walked at a respectable distance from one another, but by the time they arrived at the lab’s door, they walked closely, Genji’s hand against the small of Angela’s back. It made her heart race and her face flush. 

Genji sat on the reclinable chair, one he often joked that was personally his because of how often he came to visit her, both for checkups and just to spend time together. He would bring her warm tea or coffee, sometimes roping her into a conversation for hours about anything and everything, other times simply sitting in his chair meditating while she worked away. 

The scanners worked quickly, bringing Angela a holographic view of Genji. No bits were highlighted in red, which was good, though there were a few scratches and abrasions here and there. Three little areas were highlighted in green to show tampering, presumably the three micro-locator chips Lynx Seventeen had already removed.

“Well, you’re in full health, it seems. I’ll have Torbjorn and Winston make a new visor for you.” Angela smiled, looking away from her monitors. Genji sat facing her, staring. He blushed when their eyes met, looking away quickly.

“Right, yes. That’s good,” he coughed. “Thank you.”

“And Genji…” she bit her lip, glancing down. “I’m sorry all this has happened to you. I should have known that sooner or later, Moira would have done something to get to my work. I’m sorry it had to be you.” 

Genji shook his head, standing to place his hands on her shoulders. “If Talon were predictable, they would not be such a big threat. It is not your fault, Angela.”

“But Genji-”

“No,” he said firmly. “I won’t have you blaming yourself for this.” 

The conviction in his voice made her nod, pressing closer as he held her to him. She felt his lips on her hair as his hands slid to her waist.

“You are a remarkable woman, Doctor Ziegler,” he whispered fondly. “There is no other who can do what you do, because there is no one like you.” 

It was like instinct, and it was long overdue instinct, when she pressed her lips to his. The tingles reached all the way to her toes when he kissed her back, and everything felt right.

Hi all and welcome to the second D&S Fab Collab event!

Season two is centered around the prompt: Kidnapped. The eighth  addition is authored by @ Luminox! ♚ Applications to participate for this season or “arc” are now closed! Thank you to all our writers and artists! Stay tuned for Season 3! ♚ If you want to join our server to be in the loop for more events like this one, join here !