#{ btw that was me /holding back/ }
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reading A Trace of Notoriety by rymyanna on ao3 (great fic btw highly recommend) and there's a scene where alastor learns how to charge a phone just to plug in angel's while he's asleep
#he tucked him in too btw#also the concept of alastor holding back vox's antennae while he's vomiting just tickles me lmao#cw alcohol#hazbin hotel#qpr radiostatic#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel vox#radiostatic#staticlovetune#doodles#art#my art#comic#queerplatonic radiostatic
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rewatched bsd w my friend seeing it for the first time and the nostalgia of seeing these two together again hit me like a bus
#literally mom and dad of the agency#dazai and kunikida protect yokohama but more importantly they also protect atsushi#funny story but we were watching in sub and the translations were wack bc when i watched dazai refers to kunikida as his colleague#but in the version we were watching he just called him partner w/o any context it was so fucking funny😭#bro rly just pointed to a random man across the river and was like “oh that's my partner btw!! we can use his money to treat you to dinner!#my bestie made me pause the show and was like “????partner. are they married??? either way it's cute that there's mlm rep in this anime🥺”#i was genuinely holding back tears#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#lotus draws#SRY FOR THE UNGODLY HR IM POSTING AT I DIDNT WANT TO LOSE THE MOTIVATION I SUDDENLY GOT AFTER WATCHING THE FIRST FEW EPS#IVE WANTED TO DRAW THESE TWO FOR SO LONG IDK WHAT TOOK ME SO LONG😭😭😭😭
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A KITCHEN-TABLE KINDA LOVE ; SATORU GOJO
synopsis; satoru doesn’t quite know what love is supposed to feel like. but if it means coming home to you, it can’t possibly be that much of a curse.
word count; 4.9k
contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, satoru gojo vs. the mortifying ordeal of being loved, fluff fluff fluff!!, a hint of angst if you reeeaallyyy squint, gojo’s pov, the babygirlification of satoru gojo, i just think being babied would fix him <33
a/n; i wanted to write something for suguru or shoko but this man is genuinely holding my brain hostage atp so more satoru fluff it is!! physically i could write gojo angst yes but emotionally? imagine the toll…
when satoru steps over the threshold to your apartment, he’s downright exhausted.
it’s a heavy kind of fatigue, a little sickening. the kind that seems to sneak its way into his bones, crawl its way under his skin. dragging him down, down, down.
a yawn slips from his lips.
the mission itself wasn’t too tough — anything is a breeze for satoru gojo, that fact needs no elaboration. this one was just a little more taxing than usual, slightly more important, which meant he had to deal with the technicalities of it all. had to listen to the elders go on and on about the importance of discretion, about finishing things swiftly and efficiently, and something else he didn’t stick around long enough to hear.
and the curse? a small fry, really. nothing worth fussing over. but it was annoying, with that irritatingly effective barrier technique. how long did he have to stay inside that goddamn veil before it let him get close enough to land a hit? satoru doesn’t want to think about it, can’t be bothered to figure it out when all he wants is to collapse into the warm comfort of a soft mattress. all he knows is that when it finally lifted, the night sky was the only thing he could see. a vacuum of stars — taunting in its perpetuity.
so, with all that being said; to say satoru feels a little worn out might be a bit of an understatement.
hair slightly tousled, eyelids heavy with sleep-deprivation, he slumps against the wall and allows himself to simply breathe. a soft groan flows from his parted lips as he stretches idly, a small respite for his stiff and achy joints, his tired muscles. it’s been a long day. but satoru still finds it in him to exhale a relieved breath, to drag his blindfold down to his neck and kick off his shoes.
because it’s been a long, long day — but now he’s finally home.
(not just a house, not just an apartment, but a home. a place of comfort and belonging. satoru didn’t think that was a luxury he would ever be able to afford.)
the moment he lets the door close behind him, a particular scent greets him. soothing in its familiarity, the only thing in his life that never seems to change; a blend between fresh laundry, and watered houseplants, and something that smells a bit like honey. maybe even sweeter than usual, though he chalks it up to his mind playing tricks on him.
it’s nice. so nice. coming back to something warm and real, a respite from his hectic work. a safe haven, of sorts, one that hasn’t been taken from him yet.
satoru likes to think of your front door as a threshold between realms, a gap between within and without. one is dark in its saturation, plagued by that never-fading smell of iron, while the other is simply warm. sacred, in its normalcy. everything looks just as it should, the same as when he rushed out this morning; a fluffy blanket haphazardly draped over the couch, that soft golden light streaming out from the kitchen, your shoes by the front door.
satoru blinks, drowsily.
wait.
(why is the kitchen light still on?)
as if his eyes could ever deceive him, satoru rubs the skin underneath them — blinking once, then twice.
yep — it’s still there. that soft fluorescent glow, a sight he’s come to associate with breakfast and dinner and a mellow kind of love, laughter shared over warm meals made by human hands. food tastes better, satoru has come to realize, when you have someone to eat it with.
ah, but it’s odd. did you forget to turn the lights off? that’s not very like you.
as if possessed by a strange, irresistible longing, his feet carry him to the kitchen in question. undeniably groggy, his uncoordinated steps riddled with fatigue, but the yearning in his chest compels him to move forward anyway — a kind of yearning he only fully understands when he enters the space, and sees you slumped over the table, a familiar flicker of cursed energy capturing his attention.
satoru stills, where he stands by the threshold between the kitchen and the living room.
everything looks the same as always — cookie jars placed on the highest shelf to give him an excuse to help you reach them, origami made from newspapers he never bothers to read anyway, a vase standing proudly on the kitchen counter, stuffed with fresh flowers he bought for you two days ago. the red roses still haven’t wilted, shining in the blue of the moonlight flickering in. good. they’re pretty, but maybe next time he should get you something more original. maybe some sunflowers, something that could rival the brightness of your smile.
do they even sell sunflowers this time of year? if you were awake, satoru would ask you, even though you always tell him to just google it —
but you're not awake. you’re fast asleep, cheek squished against the kitchen table, snoring softly.
satoru feels his mood lift at the sight alone, and suddenly he doesn’t feel as tired anymore. something soft sprouts in his chest, almost otherworldly, as he takes you in, stepping closer. almost giddy, just to see you up close.
you look so peaceful and relaxed, so content. elbows resting on the table as soft little breaths fall from your parted lips; he spots a bit of drool on the corner of your bottom lip, gaze fond as he wipes it away with his thumb. he can’t resist the urge to poke your cheek, and it makes you stir ever so slightly — lips curling up into something like a sleepy smile.
satoru grins.
(you’re so, so cute.)
despite his fatigue, he hears himself chuckle, all soft and amused and a little bit lovesick. it comes to him so easily, when he’s with you; that upturn of his lips, the butterflies in his stomach. satoru is still getting used to it. this cotton candy sweet, light as a feather kind of love. the kind that always feels like spring.
but with every day that passes, the life he has with you becomes a little easier to digest. his future with you becomes a little easier to visualize.
yeah, he thinks. he could get used to this. coming home to you.
a soft smile, as he exhales a breath, laced with exasperation. you really shouldn’t be sleeping out here, though. silly.
satoru leans forward, inching closer to your pretty, sleeping face — he almost feels bad, waking you up like this. but he wants to hear your voice so badly.
so he cups your cheek, cold skin meeting warm, his hands still lingering with the bite of the midnight air. his fingertips tingle, buzzing with the body heat that trickles from your veins to his — one single touch is all it takes for him to soften. the word that falls from his lips breaks the peaceful silence of the kitchen, breathing life into the moment. whispered into your ear, causing your brows to furrow as you gently slip from sleep’s embrace.
“baby…”
satoru is smiling, when your eyelids flutter open. a sincere smile, reserved for you and his students. bathed in the mellow hue of the kitchen lamp’s illumination, a soft glow curls around the strands of his white hair, creating a halo of artificial light.
blinking sleepily, you gaze at him in silence. something shines in your eyes, something satoru tentatively recognizes as adoration. and he gazes right back at you, with heavy-lidded eyes and a lopsided smile. teasing, lighthearted. thumb smoothing over the apple of your cheek.
then he grins, hopelessly endeared. ”hey there, sleeping beauty.”
for a moment, all you do is lean into his touch. a yawn tumbles from your lips, as you lift yourself up, snuggling closer still. “toru…” you mumble, voice a little raspy but still oh so sweet.
satoru doesn’t say anything. he simply takes you into his arms, gently, touch so very delicate — as if you’re made of porcelain. and you just let yourself fall into his embrace, while he tucks you under his chin, safe and secure. it’s warm, he thinks. it feels right. complete, somehow.
and satoru thinks to himself that this must be what love feels like. what it’s supposed to feel like, anyhow, all sweet and light. all good and normal, something you never have to question.
a cornerstone.
“you’re back…” you drawl, muffled into his uniform, arms sneaking around his thin waist to bring him closer. he strokes the back of your head, softly.
satoru’s chest rumbles, as he speaks, voice deep and a little raspy. soothing, a lullaby just for you. “yeah,” he hums. ”were you waiting?”
all you do is nuzzle further into him, into his chest, cheek smooshed right over his heart; breathing out a sleepy little mhm that has him going weak at the knees. lips curling up helplessly.
“i wanted to…” you continue, stretching your arms a little, trying to shrug away the remnants of sleep still clinging to your joints. “… but i fell asleep.”
satoru feels you move in his arms, until your jaw settles on top of his shoulder, followed by a chaste kiss to his neck. an exhale leaves his lips, something tender in the way his breath wavers.
“welcome home,” is whispered, muffled against his skin. a sentence he never wants to go a single day without hearing. “did the mission go okay?”
he plants a kiss on top of your head, speaking in a low tilt, reassuring. “it did. just took a little longer than i thought.” a soft inhale, as he basks in the scent of your shampoo. “i wanted to text you, but the veil blocked my signal. sorry, sweetie.”
another soft yawn, and a shake of your head. “s’ fine, don’t worry,” you murmur. ”i’m just glad you’re okay.”
satoru chuckles. there’s a fondness to it, light, and then there’s something else. something far more heavy — it rumbles through his chest, almost like a purr, or a soothing thunderstorm. he can only hope it’s enough to comfort you. “of course.” he says the words like they’re indisputable, like they’re written down in scriptures old and worn. cradling you in his strong arms, pulling you closer to his chest. hoping you’ll feel his heartbeat against you, feel that he’s there. “i always am, aren’t i?”
no answer. only a tiny hum, absentminded.
and satoru knows, deep down, that his words don’t mean much. that a part of you is always going to worry over him, no matter how many times he tells you that there’s no need. that he’ll be fine.
the thought makes him feel a bit guilty. a little sick to his stomach, at the thought that he’s a source of your anxiety, the reason you can’t fall asleep at night — but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t also make him feel kinda giddy. the thought tastes sweet, on his tongue, even though it probably shouldn’t. having someone to worry for you is a luxury, he’s realized. a luxury he has, now, one he hasn’t had since —
well. that’s neither here nor there.
(“be careful, satoru,” he recalls a kind boy saying.
but that was many, many springs ago.)
“oh, right.”
at the sound of your voice, satoru pulls away, ever so slightly, gazing down at you. “hm?”
with a single step back, you look up at him, tilting your head like a sleepy puppy. hands still resting securely on his waist, fingertips squeezing at his hips. lightly, affectionately. barely restrained fondness. ”have you had anything to eat yet?”
“yeah. got some takeout on my way back.”
satoru expects you to sigh in relief, at his instantaneous answer. you don’t like it when he skips meals, so these days he tries not to. even though he doesn’t always have the time to eat properly, and even though the sweets he chews on between missions make him lose his appetite. but he makes an honest attempt, for you.
someone worries for him. someone wants him to eat well. that’s more than enough motivation for satoru gojo.
but you don’t exhale, and you don’t look very relieved. you look… disappointed. eyes suddenly glancing down at the floor, lips curled down into a barely noticeable frown. “oh,” you breathe. “okay. that’s good.”
one second. then two.
satoru tilts his head.
“why?” he stops to think. maybe… “did you make something?”
a certain recognition flickers in the depths of your eyes, and satoru thinks he must be right on the money. chewing at your bottom lip, a little, you wait a moment before curling your fingers around his wrist — tugging him away from the kitchen table. satoru follows, pliantly, until you’re standing in front of the fridge.
“well, um… here,” you mumble, somewhat sheepishly. fingers tapping at the handle before pulling it open. “take a look.”
satoru watches as the fridge door opens, slowly.
he blinks.
the first thing he sees is a single slice of strawberry shortcake. the strawberry looks fresh, glittering like a ruby on top of the softly whisked cream — and layers of sponge cake, that look like they’d melt in his mouth.
and that’s not all. there are a wide array of baked treats stuffed into the cramped space, protected by plastic wrapping and containers. everything from cupcakes with too much frosting — just the way he likes them — to chocolate chip cookies that crumble at the corners, satoru never seems to run out of things to look at. colourful treats, lovingly made and sitting right in front of him. it’s like he’s standing in a patisserie. they almost seem to sparkle, in the peripheral of his vision; glimmering softly, tantalizingly, like something out of a dream.
childish. that’s what nanami and shoko always call him, and he always protests, but —
maybe they have a point, after all. satoru certainly feels a little childish, when he realizes his eyes must be wide and bursting with child-like giddiness. a simple kind of joy, at seeing the ample selection in front of him. especially after that tedious mission prevented him from getting any sugar into his system.
”i did my best,” you mutter, sharing the sight with him as your eyes trail over a pretty bag of pink and green macarons. ”dunno if they turned out any good, but… i hope you’ll like them.”
satoru’s gaze flits over to you.
he opens his mouth, and then closes it again.
”did you… make these?” a beat. ”for me?”
a blink. ”.. yeah?” who else would they be for?, your eyes seem to say. a little confused.
for a second, satoru can only stare at you. in complete silence, the tired cogs inside his head turning sluggishly as he thinks about the implications of that answer. and with a soft flutter, he feels his heartbeat pick up, warming him up from the inside out.
you made them. with your own hands. you made all of these and you did it for him.
for some reason, satoru finds it oddly hard to speak, like someone stuffed a bunch of cupcakes down his throat. it’s weird — usually he can’t seem to stop talking, especially not when he’s with you, but…
(something about this is just too tender.)
you must have been baking all day. no wonder the apartment smelled sweeter than usual, when he walked in.
as if itching to curl around one of the macarons, his fingers twitch, but satoru gulps and keeps them still. he wants to say something, anything, wants to thank you or ask why you’d spend so much of yourself on him, but satoru only stays silent.
and maybe it’s because he’s tired. maybe he’s just a little caught off guard. usually this wouldn’t be that hard to handle — he could just throw himself on you and shower you in kisses, show his appreciation with a flurry of dramatics and declarations of love.
but right now there seems to be a disconnect, between satoru’s mind and body. maybe the mission drained him more than he realized. or maybe it’s more than that, maybe there’s nothing he can say or do; what words could he even begin to use to properly verbalize the emotions he’s feeling right now? how could his touch ever begin to measure up to the sweet sensation unfurling in his chest?
the silence doesn’t last long. as satoru stands there and spirals, you speak up, most likely chalking it up to him being too sleepy to react.
”this mission was especially rough, right?” you begin, with a soft tilt of your head. a smile curls its way onto your lips, proud and sweet. sweeter than everything in the fridge combined.
one step, then two. you inch closer to him, until there’s almost no space between you — standing on your tiptoes, one hand on his shoulder and the other reaching for his head. smoothing down his tousled hair, fingers tangling themselves between the soft white strands and getting lost in them. and it’s gentle, the way you begin to pat his head, doting.
then you speak. ”you did well.”
and it’s such a simple thing to say. three words, three syllables, but the words just tumble out from your mouth so earnestly that satoru can’t help but still. his breath hitches in his throat, softly, barely noticeable, but it’s there. that surprise.
he never knows how to act, when you get like this. patting his head and ruffling his hair like he’s something warm and sweet and worthy of love. something delicate, and not the strongest man on the planet.
it’s so weird. you’re so weird.
(satoru leans into your touch without thinking, allowing his eyes to flutter shut.)
it’s perplexing, this feeling, and the fact that he can’t pinpoint why frustrates him to no end. isn’t this wrong? shouldn’t he be the one ruffling your hair, coddling you?
what formula is he supposed to follow here, exactly? should he tease you? pull away from your touch?
satoru wishes his six eyes could tell him the answer, but they don’t. they’ve never been very good with emotions, with things that aren’t directly tied to his suffering or imminent death.
(so ironic. all these eyes and nothing to see. they failed to see suguru’s silence, back then, and now they fail to see what reaction would please you the most.
really, such a worthless ability to love people with.)
no answer comes to him. so satoru doesn’t tease you, and he doesn’t pull away.
it does feel slightly wrong, though. like this feeling isn’t something he’s supposed to have, there must be some mistake, he can’t possibly be allowed to feel so loved — can he? having you bake him all his favorite treats, run your fingers through his hair. praise him for working hard.
really. isn’t he being too coddled?
(… but it feels so nice.)
satoru suspects that there’s a lot to love he might not fully understand, just yet.
maybe tomorrow, when he’s a little less tired, he can try once again to give you the impression that he’s perfect. that he doesn’t need affection, that he doesn’t crave your support or your touch. that he’s above all that, the strongest, someone for you to depend on.
depend on him, while he depends on no one. that’s the kind of existence satoru gojo is. that’s how it should be, that’s all he knows, but…
— ah. it feels really nice when your nails scratch his scalp like that.
and suddenly, that’s all satoru can think. no more pesky what-ifs, or second guessing every good thing he gets. right now, it’s just you and him. your fingers in his hair, his footprints in your life.
satoru allows himself to melt under your touch, almost meekly. leaning down just a little further, to make it easier for you to smooth your hand over his head. he nuzzles into your palm with a happy little exhale, and for some reason he feels sort of bashful.
try as he might, he doesn’t manage to successfully shoo the emotion away, so all he can do is hope you don’t take note of it.
and you just continue your onslaught of affection, now ruffling his hair with both your hands, like he’s a big puppy getting cooed over. satoru has a nagging suspicion that you might be getting a little carried away, but he doesn’t stop you. greedy, in the way he wishes your hands would never leave his hair. the way he hopes you’ll never be too far away from him to reach.
”such a hard worker,” you coo, and he feels himself grow flustered. ”my baby deserves so much love.”
”woah there,” satoru chokes out, grinning, desperately hoping you won’t notice the red tint to his ears. ”are you flirting with me? i have a partner, you know.”
a giggle slips from your lips, sleepy and amused. ”oh, do you?” one of your hands goes to cup his cheek, thumb caressing the edge of his jaw as you gaze at him fondly. ”lucky them.”
the grin you’re wearing is awfully bright. soft around the edges in a way that has him speechless, brain malfunctioning ever so slightly. satoru makes a mental note to scrap the sunflower idea — there has to be some brighter flower out there, one that can actually compete with your smile. sunflowers just won’t cut it.
but then you let go, and satoru gets broken out of his lovesick stupor.
when your hands leave his skin, his lips curl down into a soft pout. one he rushes to smooth away, before you can notice it.
you step back, failing to stifle a soft bout of laughter, but satoru knows it’s not because you saw it — he knows because your gaze is glued to his hair, and he internally winces when he thinks about how messy it must look, after your little bout of cuteness aggression.
(you really are weird, finding him cute of all things.)
he expects you to tease him a little more, but you don’t, turning away and tapping your fingers on the kitchen counter. ”if i’d known you’d be home this late,” you speak, stealing one last glance at the pastries before closing the fridge. ”then i would’ve waited until tomorrow. so you could eat them fresh.”
an apology rests on satoru’s tongue, but as if sensing it, you rush to reassure him.
”ah, but this is fine too! they should still taste good!” you turn away, muttering. ”… hopefully.”
then you nod to yourself, crossing your arms absentmindedly.
satoru looks at you for a second.
then he steps forward, unable to resist the temptation — tapping at your wrist with the pads of his fingers, before gently curling them around it, coaxing you into turning your head towards him.
the kiss he presses to your lips is soft, delicate. his fingers trace along your jaw, cupping your cheek and tilting your face up slightly, just letting his warm lips rest against yours. sweet and chaste. he sighs into the kiss, content, and feels your pulse pick up.
then he moves down to your jaw, slow and methodical — lazy kisses, sleepy but so full of affection. and little pecks, scattered all over your lips, your cheek, the tip of your nose.
you seem to melt a little, against him, and satoru relishes in it; his ability to make you relax. far more valuable than the six eyes, he would argue.
when he pulls away from you, with what takes tremendous self-restraint, he’s smiling. his gaze meets yours, layered over with pure adoration, blue eyes crinkling as he looks at you. as if you’re his entire world. the kitchen light embraces him, cascading down the contours of his face; the bridge of his nose, the curve of his jaw, his barely noticeable dimples.
and there it is, again — that flicker of love in your eyes, that adoration. as if you’re looking at a painting, something too beautiful for words.
(satoru hopes you can see that very same adoration, reflected in his eyes as he looks at you.)
after a moment, he leans forward, to rest his jaw on the curve of your shoulder. you stumble a little under the weight, caged in as his arms hug your midriff.
”god,” he sighs, breathless, heavy with giddy disbelief. almost whining when he continues, nuzzling into your neck as if to hide. ”why are you so perfect, huh? i don’t get it.”
at that, you huff out a laugh, an amused little breath. wrapping your arms around his neck and scratching softly at his nape. satoru shudders just a little, arms tightening around you.
”stealing my line…” you mutter, accusatory, smile laced over with a honeyed affection.
another amused breath, this time from him. this is one battle he won’t let you win. ”nah,” he grins, tugging you closer. ”’s mine.”
this is warm, he thinks. this feels right. complete, in a way that satoru never understood before you.
he could probably stand there forever, just basking in it. soaking up your body heat and the smell of your shampoo. until your warmth is all he knows, until he can never get your scent off his skin.
and satoru thinks that he could get used to this. a cotton candy sweet, light as a feather kind of love, one that smells like spring and tastes like strawberry shortcakes and feels like tight hugs shared in kitchens.
your love makes him feel so human. and it’s scary, terrifying even, but it's also too good to pass up. it’s worth the risk. so worth everything.
a yawn leaves your lips, suddenly. satoru feels you soften in his embrace, nuzzling closer to him, stumbling just a tad; he doesn’t think it’s fair, for such a simple gesture to make him as happy as it does.
”sleepy?” he coos, smile giddy and fond. ”let’s go to bed, okay? no more sleeping on the kitchen table, silly.”
a disgruntled little huff resounds throughout the air, as you let your arms fall to your sides. ”that’s on you,” you declare, poking the plush of his chest with your finger. ”i only fell asleep because you took so long.”
a teasing glint flickers in satoru’s eyes.
”wanted to see me that badly, huh?” he coos. you roll your eyes, and he pulls your cheek. ”that’s cute.”
”so what if i did?”
satoru stills. you’re smiling, a little mischievous, but mostly sincere. and it really is very unfair of you, he thinks — to do this to him while his guard is down.
but he manages to pull himself together, raising an amused eyebrow and booping your nose in a way that catches you off guard. blinking up at him, eyelashes fluttering.
satoru clears his throat. ”well, that’s sweet.”
then he turns on his heel, suddenly, and strolls over to the fridge. ”but you know what’s even sweeter?” he chirps, fingers curling around the handle as he swiftly pulls it open.
licking his lips, absentmindedly, his eyes trail over all the different pastries. so close yet so far, just out of reach; his fingers move forward, towards that mesmerizing slice of strawberry shortcake —
”— no.”
a hand settles on satoru’s waist, and tugs him away from his well-deserved prize. taking advantage of his momentary surprise, you close the fridge decisively, and give him an unimpressed raise of your eyebrow.
satoru whines, loud and grating. pouting sweetly, trying to make you feel bad. ”c’mon, just one bite —”
”no.”
”but they’re for me!”
”they’re for you to eat tomorrow. i was only gonna let you eat them tonight if you were on the brink of starvation, or something.”
”i am!”
”so the takeout was a lie?” you narrow your eyes at him, suddenly suspicious. ”have you been skipping meals, again?”
satoru pauses. weighing his options. ”well, no, but…”
”— then no.”
another soft whine. you turn away from him, when he tilts his head and gives you his best set of puppy dog eyes. in fear of giving in to them, satoru knows, as you have so many times before. ”please?” he tries, to no avail.
”you’re not eating sweets before bed, satoru,” you deadpan, and his smile falls further, exaggerated. ”and no, we are not having that conversation again.”
he can tell you’re trying to sound stern, but a giggle tumbles from your lips nonetheless, at the ridiculousness of the situation. keeping a grown man away from your fridge, knowing that he’ll wolf down every pastry he sees and get himself sick if you don’t. all while the man in question whines at you in protest, frowing so deeply, disappointment evident on his features.
(except satoru really isn’t very disappointed at all. like this, he gets to stare at your smile all he wants, after all; knowing you won’t notice it, too busy trying to keep yourself from giving in to his pleas.)
he tries again, one last time. just because he knows it’ll make you laugh. you do, a little exasperated, and satoru couldn’t be happier.
and he thinks to himself that if this is what love is, if this is what it’s supposed to feel like, then it can’t possibly be that much of a curse.
maybe he should revise the hypothesis, get a second opinion. he’ll have to ask you tomorrow, over pastries and coffee, and hear what you have to say.
as you both stumble to the bedroom, sleepy and a little delirious, satoru thinks that maybe this is enough; the lighthearted banter, the fond laughter. everything good and real and normal, within the space of your apartment, a home he never thought he’d have.
(and maybe, a second opinion isn’t necessary, after all. maybe it doesn’t really matter if love is a curse or not, as long as he gets to share it with you, like this.)
that night, satoru dreams. curled up with you beneath the blankets, limbs tangled together, as if he could never be close enough.
he dreams of kitchen lights, of sweet treats and warm hands. of spring breezes, and a love he’s finally beginning to accept for what it is:
good. wholly and thoroughly.
#i NEED to hold his waist btw idk if i made that clear. i need it like i need air to breathe. like why is it so tiny if not to be held by me#had to hold myself back like a wolf during a full moon from describing his waist in too much detail youre welcome#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#jjk x reader
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simulated earth (it does not matter)
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#sherlock and co#sherlock & co#podlock#comic#sherlock holmes#john watson#victor trevor#ft. archie (in like three panels lmao)#need to figure out a podlock specific tag for these guys so this doesnt clutter up the main sh tags#bc ohhh boy. I anticipate being insane abt s&co for a While#this comic def a Hot minute post-gloria scott#what is this about exactly? you ask. haha well (there's sunlight bouncing off a window and when u look back Im already gone)#listen I caught up to everything right before gloria scott and holy Shit that case knocked me on my ass#as a chronic adhd (and thus serious memory problems) haver.... (holds sherlock tenderly)#I have not listened to SOLI yet btw I will tomorrow. I wanted to finish this before catching up#Im obsessed with them. Im such an easy idiot lmao Im a sherlock holmes adaptation enthusiast before Im a human#gloria scott.... the way it muses on the limit of the genre same as the red headed league.... what about the victims?#what about the victims. what about the victims. what part of the pain does the process of investigation cure#victor's like. he's between jobs he's between boyfriends he's living with his dad whose caretaker he just became. who does he have#and sherlock holmes is about the truth but john's been about the solution so far. I just. I really like this john watson lmao#listen the way he complains and then refuses to shoot the underlings in red headed league. based. I love him#I can fix him (radicalize him against punitive justice)#(I am refraining from talking abt sherlock in the tags here bc I Will run out of tags before Im done)#(mariana is not here but I care her too!! she will be here more often in the future I swear I fuckign swear......)#(''I'm in a co-op that's sponsoring my visa. also I just witnessed two actual dead bodies like a month ago'' you mean everything to me)#screams. I got attached SO fast this show is targeting me specifically. my broke millenials suffering in london show#I have like a number of sketches too be prepared. theyre gonna show up soon. until then#have a good day lads. be there! be there.#edit: this comic is finished and assembled in full before I listened to the solitary cyclist part one. this has been an update#I have now listened to SOLI part one. I must hit john watson with a hammer
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established relationship scarian where scar finds A Creature of some sort (dealer's choice) and starts in on the whole "Can we keep it?? 🥺🥺" routine to grian
i was originally going to go with a cat, then a baby warden (listen idk) then an ACTUAL baby...then landed on this (and giggled and kicked my feet the entire time as i wrote it). hope you enjoy :D
scar: g scar: grain scar: grian scar: light of my life scar: where are you? scar: i have gift grian: fishing dock scar: shoulda guessed scar: be there soon <3
grian stretched, quietly groaning to himself as his back (and wings) crackled in delight at the movement, tired of the endless hunching they’d endured over the past several hours. a gift from scar (especially an unexpected one) was sure to be…interesting. they’d been together long enough that scar knew what grian liked, of course…but sometimes…the “gifts” his partner would bring him would be more for scar’s own personal amusement than anything else.
not that he really minded, of course. not when that meant getting to see scar light up like a kid on christmas. scar was always so full of life - always giggling over something or other - and it just reminded grian of why he’d fallen in love with him in the first place. and honestly, that was gift enough for him.
despite all of that, he wasn’t quite expecting scar to bring him something...alive.
grian heard the chirping from the small bundle in scar’s arms before the man had even landed, and couldn’t help the inquisitive trill that forced its way out of him in response. and that, of course, set scar off - mimicking the noise with his own (very human) vocal cords (which only served to produce a melody akin to being strangled). he stared at grian with wide eyes as he touched down, and grian felt his cheeks burn under his gaze.
“g! i’ve never heard you make that noise before - that was so cute, do it again!”
“no,” grian chirped back, then pressed his hand against his mouth as scar laughed in delight. “scar - what is that?”
“it’s a baby!” scar responded, moving closer and tilting the bundle in his arms towards the avian. “look - it’s a little you!”
grian uncovered his mouth to retort - he very much doubted that scar had somehow found a baby avian wandering around hermitcraft - but another quiet chirp caught his attention, and he found himself leaning forward to peer over scar’s arms. and there, nestled in a pile of soft, brown blanket, was the ugliest baby parrot grian had ever seen in his life. and yet..and yet…
grian didn’t even realize that he was whistling until the baby returned his birdsong, eager little chirps and gurgles spilling out of its little fleshy beak. it tilted its head up at grian, blinking, and grian offered up a trembling finger into the makeshift nest. the chick nuzzled against it, purring softly, and something in grian’s heart felt like it might burst. he raised his face to his partner, and found scar’s gaze transfixed - but not on the parrot in his arms, but him. their eyes locked, and scar offered him a smile - something soft and warm, something that made grian want to kiss him more than anything in the world.
“can we keep it?” he whispered, and grian let out a short (wet) laugh.
“i…scar, where…where did you even find it? it’s so little…i can’t imagine its mama would have been far; she’s probably worried sick…do you really want to take the little guy from his mama?”
scar’s lower lip wobbled (and grian felt like he might be the worst person in the entire world for it).
“he didn’t have a mama! i sat and watched and waited for hours, gri, and nobody came for him…he was just all alone, on a branch in the jungle, and i got worried that something was going to come along and eat him! and…well…i figured you’d know how to take care of him. given that you’re…y’know.”
he gestured toward grian’s colorful wings with one hand, and grian’s feathers rippled obediently in show for his lover. from scar’s arms, the tiny bird chirped again, raising its little head and struggling to flap its wings in the same way grian had fluttered his. scar looked down to the parrot, then up to grian, eyes wide and sparkling as he jutted out his lower lip.
“see! he agrees! he wants you to be his new mama!”
(and if grian’s heart fluttered in his chest at the suggestion of being a mother, that was no one's business but his own. that was a topic to be discussed later - much later, in the warmth of each other’s arms and the shield the darkness their room offered for grian's vulnerability)
“we could name him…um…jeffrey!”
“scar - we are not naming our son jeffrey.”
“our son???!??” scar parroted back, jerking his head up from where he had dipped it to stare down at the chick in his arms. “our son??? so…we can keep him? really? you mean it?”
“yes, scar. i mean it,” grian responded, smiling softly at the hopeful peep from the newest member of their little family. “we can keep him.”
(and the way scar pulled him into a kiss, then, was the greatest gift of all)
#i love writing fluff i love writing fluff i love writing fluff i love writing fluff i love writing fluff i love writing fluff i love writ#i also love scarian. they are so special to me. they are so precious to me. they are so <3#i'm watching bridgerton writing this btw. it's actually really good i didn't think that i'd like it but i'm enthralled#anyway i want to write a scarian kid fic now#someone hold me back from giving them a Child#this is also partially mochi's fault. mochi i am shaking my fist at you /silly#goodtimeswithscar#grian#scarian#hermitshipping#no background cumbo whoa what's gotten into me#plant writes#plant answers
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scar and jimmy are going to team up in the next life series AND THATBLUE HAIRED CUNT ISNT GOING TO SAY A GOD DAMN WORD
#scar and jimmy is one of the genuinely sweetest ships in the whole fandom btw#get on my level they are perfect#ilove you solidaritimes no one could make me hate you#he’s your fucking deputy HUH????#he defends and supports you like no one ever has and he challenges you to love yourself huh?????#you builds you a beautiful train and western town and he’s DEVOTED TO YOU#HES YOUR DEPUTY!!!!!#AND YOU’RE HIS GOD DAMN FUCKING SHERIFF#AND IN LOVE#AND YOU LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH#and one of those many nights you’re in bed together#holding him#for the first time you say it out loud#I love you#and he says it back without a second of hesitation#because he already knew#even if you didn’t yet. even if you were afraid he didn’t feel the same#but he does#and you had nothing to worry about
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Okay now where's the Seb teddy bear so I can make them kiss each other!?
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#okay btw you can credit the last frame to suzuki#bcs she brought up the pig stuffed animal that seb kept as a good luck charm when he was karting#and suggested the same with fernando's bear :DDD#also feeling weirdly sappy abt the fact that theres pics of fernando in the ferrari garage w an almost identical pig like ??????#anyways please yes have this random vettonso comic 🥰🥰#im working on a bigger vettonso drawing rn so i made this quick in the meantime!#icl i saw the fernando teddy bear. and i made the eyebrow post and whatever#but there was also just this image in the back haunting me of him gifting one to seb#I AM DELUSIONAL!!!#its just so cute to imagine it as like 'heres a memento of me to keep you company' 🥺🥺🥺🥺#funny tho cause i had the same exact imagine for my ocs and i never drew a comic version for them yet drew this real quick#the power of vettonso takes hold of me sometimes.....#tfw you take a break from your vettonso painting youve been working on for a wk+ to go draw a vettonso comic#i have a problem.#ANYWAYS THIS IS SO CUTE WAAAHHHH#drew it as cope bcs in trying to restrain myself from buying the fernando teddy bear#if i cant have it ill make seb have it yknow 🤭🤭🤭#wah this reminded i should draw more little comics theyre not too hard tbh#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#catie.art
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I have soooo much affection for fics where Tony's love language is being a creepy stalker<3
He uses the Baby Monitor like a home TV, constantly watching it. There's a sensor in the Spider-Man suit that lets him known Peter's vitals every time he puts it on.
Eventually he gets Peter a new phone and a watch or maybe a bracelet - something he'll keep on all the time, so that Tony can always use the tracker to check where he is.
Honestly, he probably goes through Peter's phone too. Social media, chats, gallery. He has Friday save all messages Peter types, even the ones he dosen't actually send. He dosen't care about privacy he want's to know everything about his boy.
(Peter knows and is thrilled that his crush likes him back.)
#obssesive Tony#Peter simply does not care that this isn't 'ethical' or 'healthy' or whatever. Tony!!! Likes him back!!!#sorry no he can't listen to your concerns he's busy planning their first date#not a hint of survival instinct in that boy. the spidey sense goes off everytime tony is himself btw.#starker#otp: hold me
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Been really pondering Fantoccio and the cursed citizens lately… like, if you’re stuck in a city for 15 years with some of your only company being these cursed globby versions of the people that used to surround you normally, you’d start to Notice Things that remind you of who they used to be, right?
#I HAVE SO SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS GUY HE MAKES ME SOOO SAD. FANTOCCIO….#i really do think about his time in the city a lot. like a whooole lot.#like ofc these are weird amorphous blobs but yknow. there may still be some semblance of who they used to be within them#they have old habits or hang around in places they used to live idk idk.#they still have some of that old humanity they used to hold i guess… even in their cursed forms…#a little spark of hope that maybe everything will go back to normal someday#i dunno. and maybe eventually they even start to LOOK normal. all in ur head#fanto’s supposed to be younger here btw!! id personally put him at around 12-14 maybe?#also the bear baker’s name is Miss Cardamom!! unfortunately she is doomed by the narrative…. so sad… ú_ù#the bg characters were VERY VERY FUN to design!!! hehehe#billie bust up#bbu fantoccio#bbu the fella#robin’s art#2024 art#didnt mean to go as hard on the art as i did… twas supposed to just be a simple sketch comic HAHA#comicfollies
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※ ♣️♦️ fictional children 🏵️🍈
I came up with the idea of "children of love", I guess, my favorite Trey&Cater !! a girl who doesn't want to be "cute" but "cool" and a boy who doesn't want to stand out and isn't used to showing true emotions !!
adult Trey and Cater with their babies 💚🧡💚🧡
#this idea literally came to me last night that I couldn't even sleep well because I really wanted to draw them lol#IT'S SO DIRTY but I couldn't hold back the urge..!#maybe I'll change something a little?? when I draw it in more detail!!#I hope you like it!!#(Opal and Maddy are something like twins of the same age but do not look like each other)#twst trey#twst cater#trey clover#cater diamond#treycay#treicay#trey x cater#cater x trey#caytrey#VERY VERY#doodles#clvnk_art#BTW I LOVE IT WHEN THE CATER SAYS “TREY-KUN” SOMETIMES JUST “TREY” BUT THEY'RE KIND OF MARRIED SO NOW IT'S ALWAYS JUST “TREY”--#and I just now thought that he might have said “Opal-chan” and “Maddy-chan/kun”!!..#twst fankid
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i knew you'd come back (i never had any doubt)
#quin sketches#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#hualian#xie lian#hua cheng#hello gang im back after like. idfk 2 days??#i wanted to do a scene redraw and my bff told me to do the reunion so here i am#i like how it came out a lot actually........#i made a lantern brush for this#i love making hyper specific brushes i will use once or twice and then never again#btw the amount of minor edits i made to this after exporting it and then going 'wait hold on' before i stopped touching it#ASTRONOMICAL. i airdropped it to my computer like 10 times#anyways :3 i hope you like them#also pls reblog. posting art for a fandom no one follows me for is starting to get to me LOL#ill just have to keep doing it.....#anyways. no more yapping. goodnight#(its 1:30 pm)#lazers art
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[...] Or maybe they should tell MC so MC can understand the scope of Seven's transformation. The unique trauma of emotionally flaying yourself until you're inside out, bloody and raw and exposed but with your hands out in hopes that someone loves you for who you are, only to reject you. Then you realize you weren't being open, you were being weak. And then you have to do the process all over again, this time to yourself, reminding yourself of all the terrible things and how stupid it had you acting...all just so you can move on quicker. That's the cost of love. Suffering a million tiny deaths just so you can feel like a living, functioning human again.
Read Seven's Bus Chat (4.9k words + 3$ and 6$ tier) here! Enjoy :)
#Chose this one because I love the passage#seven really does pull out the best writing from me#I think its because im allowed to be as melodramatic as I like with Sev#I always hold back the flowery metaphors and prose since its a slice of life </3#patreon#POV#seven lawless#btw this pov gave me an actual headache#like an emotional one#idk why#but yk...#writing things
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If you feel so inclined, Untitled Artwork 7?
here you go!
Untitled artwork 7 is a few little designs I have for a post LU Legend, for a comic I may or may not get around to making…
He’s cut his hair short and his outfit has a lot less flair. This is because, well, I feel like he’d be very lost after the adventure with the chain, especially if it was his last. He might struggle with his sense of purpose (hence the outfit changes; he doesn’t feel like himself), and also would definitely miss the others a lot.
So he’s kinda a lil bit depressed, and has kinda retreated into himself a bit, pushing people (notably Ravio and his Zelda) away. He begins to dwell on Marin again, wishing he could go back to her, and has kinda fallen into a metaphorical hole.
If I ever do make the comic, this would be resolved, at least temporarily, but for now all I’ve really got is his design hehe
#Lu legend#my art#this is a wip I actually might finish someday#There are a few things holding me back tho#linked universe#lu#linkeduniverse#lu headcanons#asks and such#BLUE MY FRIEND#THANK YOU FOR THE ASK#The design with the blue background is the favorite out of these btw#The others are from a point when I was going thru a style change lol#They look strange
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Finally done with my version of The Universe's design!
#ariart#isat#isat spoilers#the creechur... btw the stuff written on their back veil are lyrics (chaos version) to fleeting words and beautiful song#they have a mouth. but itd be best for em not to use that. i like to think that the Universe communicates via telepathy#cuz if they use their own mouth itd be like an absolute order that cant be broken (like how wishes are granted via wish craft)#the rest of their body is meant like-- a tree trunk. cuz world tree and all that! also favour tree!#hollow stomach with a single floating star aaannd the lower part of the back veil is meant to be a butterfly when whole#yes those are two faces as well. drawing the lines for that nearly made me lose my mind a lil. the angle was painful...#it aint as obvious but the stars (egg and rectangle specifically) dangling on the front veil is morse code for i love you#also in a way the reason why i decided to make their middle pair of hands in that form is that inside their palm is the country#north of vaugarde. so its like theyre holding the country protectively. a star formed to keep anyone from lookin in!
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Scratch is Lillith Evidence
I've kind of accepted this as canon but I havent really seen anyone compile all the evidences so uh here for anyone curious
Kayne first references her in Part 20 which does reveal that Lillith exists in Malevolent:
In part 37, when John, Arthur and Oscar are exploring the barn, John sees a painting of a woman with pale skin and dark hair and seems to go into a kind of trance when he looks at her (which. Gestures. Lillith. Gestures. Succubus-y powers. Gestures)
Later when they open the gateway in Part 38, Scratch merges with a woman who looks exactly like the one in the painting and she's described as having "alabaster skin", aka world's most highly specific descriptor, which also happens to the same description used in the Lillith entry in the Malleus Monstorum for CoC seventh edition (BIG THANKS TO @/unsafewaters for sending the images to me)
And then in Intermezzo, Kayne directly mentions having a daughter and claims that she would "love" Arthur which could tie back to him being Her Favourite. Also I don't like using evidence that isn't in the source material but in the post season 4 QnA, when Harlan's reading out the notes he wrote for Intermezzo, one of the things he reads out is the daughter line, which implies it was important enough to mention (and wasn't just a throwaway joke)
And last but not least, Yorick mentions that Scratch/Owlexander/the entity watching them is close in power to Kayne which would make sense if he created her
Also earlier in the episode, Yorick implied Scratch may be working against Kayne specifically which does imply they have a pre existing relationship which would make sense if she was Lillith:
Extra evidence: In the fake Edward Willaim Allan's journal, he has an entry where talks about how, despite the fact he distrusts his "dream dweller" (who we know is Scratch pre fracturing), something about them still fills him with awe and he feels oddly seduces by them:
Which is likely Lillith using her powers to influence him and make him easier to manipulate (since it's heavily implied, if not basically explicitly stated, she was using him to open a gateway for her to enter the world)
Also! Semi unrelated but while I have your attention and talking about theories! I just wanna highlight a minor theory of mine that there's a high chance Kayne trapped Lillith in some kind of pocket dimension or prison of sorts because the prison line (from the second to last screenshot in this post) feels like foreshadowing and I find it odd that if she supposedly is close to him in power, she would need a humans help to travel through worlds (Also, she's framed as getting "freed" in part 38 when they do eventually open the gateway which leads to the question: free from what?) so that's something to consider
#TELL ME IF I MISSED ANYTHING GEN. I WILL ADD IT#lillith malevolent#lilith malevolent#malevolent#malevolent podcast#scratch malevolent#spoilers#????#BTW PROPS TO ME FOR SUCCESSFULLY HOLDING BACK THE URGE TO DERAIL THE WHOLE POST TO MAKE IY ABOUT PIPE DREAM 😭#<- every time i remember fake Edward Willaim Allan ks like. a real malevolent character (who canonically is implied to have been sedcued by#lillith) and not my little self indulgent guy who i made up and added to malevolent lore. i feel insane#<- I MEAN? I DO LIKE. MAKE SOME SHIT UP ABOUT HIM BUT LIKE?? I GET SURPRISED WJEN I REMEMBER OH SHIT. THEY JUST. CANONICALLY HAD A#RELATIONSHIP OF SORTS??? LIKE? SURE WE DONT KNOW IF IT WAS PLATONIC. PURELY TRANSACTIONAL . SEXUSL OR ROMANTIC. BUT THEY LIKE. CANONICALLY#HAD A SEMI RELEVANT DYNAMIC AND RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE IT LITERALLY LED TO HER GETTING FRACTURED. like wow thats canon i didng make that up#wdym my rarepair has plot relevance and is supported by the text (so far). i feel insane. OKAY ANYWAYS. WAY TO DERAIL THE POST IN MY TAGS 😭#txt#malevolent theory#<- forgot that one oops
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i really like the dichotomy of everyone respecting Nana as their friend off stage (and the darker feeling she has that they All take from her in one way or another except Karen) but inside the stage duels as performers with her as their ultimate test, they're all still prideful enough to treat it as every man's glory for themselves, making it so they can't hold a grudge against Nana outside the Revues because to everyone the Revues are Just Business and a space for words that don't belong outside it- which plays into the repression that's hurting all their relationships, they really thought of everything making this series
#Day 8 post revstar movie i can hear colors and see sounds#This is why they don't blow up at her over the Revue of Annihilation to me btw bc Stage Nana is for the Stage like them#What happens on the stage gets resolved on the stage and only the aftermaths are taken back to reality#So Nana humiliating all of them was seen as part of the tests they all accepted to grow in the other Revues there's no grudge needed#All goes back to the thematic question of being on an off a stage#Holding things in by avoiding them vs the courage to be honest and independent#basically everyone loves Nana but when it's time to be a performer/personal glory it's just business they put that friendship aside#bc it's time to compete and when you compete 1v1 there's no such thing as friends in that moment- they can be friends again#and put the stage behind them when they're off it not when they're on it nothing personal- what happens in vegas stays in vegas type shit#revue starlight#Also Nana being the only one dressed in white for death & w two sword musashi style she's their literal metaphorical angel of death#Who needed to be invincible and 'kill' them in RoA so they could pick themselves up#Deadass she's not a villain she's just as unstable as the rest of them but she's got a grasp of how reality & self determination work#That the others had to learn in the movie until they're all free and living better for themselves by the end throwing away their jackets
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