#{ So it's nice to be able to do a comparison again between me and my OC. }

[chronosbled]

☣ - OC / Creator

Tagged by: @hakusins Tagging: I don't really have anyone to tag or at least, nobody I can think of at the moment so just steal it and tag me if you do this too.

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

mixed messages | r. sukuna

✮  tags ; gn + afab!reader, unhealthy relationships, not cheating but reader flirts with gojo while tipsy for fun, undefined relationships, fingering / making out, jealousy, modern!sukuna, sukuna and yuuji r brothers 18+

✮ wc ; 2k

✮  a/n ; a snippet / extension of my modern sukuna post for @arguablyferal. i hope it gives a clear-ish idea of what he's like!!

some more like. relationship explanation in an authors note at the end.

✮  synopsis ; you've never been able to get a good read on him. would he really come to a party just to keep you from flirting with another guy ?

somehow you doubt it.

He's hitting on you.

Gojo is, you think. Though you can't be sure since it feels...a little conceited to believe that a guy like that suddenly developed a genuine interest in you. You can think of a couple reasons he would hit on you, all of them to do with getting on Sukuna's last nerve in their never-ending rivalry.

But it's weird because it doesn't really feel like he's just messing around. As in, it doesn't seem like it's just for that reason.

You know Gojo. Not as close as Shoko or Getou might but enough to comfortably call yourself a distant friend. A little more than acquaintance but less then close.

He's facetious—melodramatic, really—totally by design. By necessity, some of it is an act, but you're good enough at reading him to know what's playful and what's not.

That's why you think that Gojo is really hitting on you. He's using the fact Sukuna, your...whatever, isn't here attending with you. He was supposed to be here but he flaked last minuted on coming with you. You ended up taking Yuuji and his friends though, anyhow.

You're letting him do it. He's serious about hitting on you, and he probably knows you're not very serious about returning his feelings.

But you're entertaining it, despite yourself.

Everyone you know is looking the other way while it happens too. Gojo is leaned close, sitting next to you in a plastic chair, and you're just a little bit buzzed. Humid summer air warms your skin, makes you want to sink into the night.

You're not touching, but you're too close for not-quite-friends. Gojo edges on touchy. A soft nudge here and there, the kind of proximity you shouldn't have. Gojo is a breath away, sober because he doesn't like alcohol.

And he's super friendly, which is nice.

A beat of silence settles between you as the night rolls in a little heavier.

Gojo says you what you assume he's been thinking about all night, without any real introduction.

"You should break up with him," He says, just over a can of soda with a kind of sincerity that makes you restless. You feel your nerves flip.

Your mouth moves before your mind has a chance to fill in the answer. You laugh. "I know."

"You're really too good for him, tsk," Gojo laments, clicking his teeth. Playful again, using just enough drawback so that you don't suffocate in the honesty. You shouldn't entertain this but the attention is nice. "And gosh, you're so much more fun without that dark cloud hanging around you, y'know"

You giggle unconsciously at the thought of Sukuna as a dark cloud. Big and broad with a deep voice—it's an astute comparison. Shaking your head, you give him a playful glance. "Am I really more fun? I feel like I'm not as good a conversationalist as a certain someone,"

Gojo smiles at you proudly. "I'm having fun at least."

You close your eyes and take another, much longer drink. "Yeah, me too."

"If you know you can do better, why bother with him? I figure that bastard might be holding you hostage but," He's serious again, brows raised. "You've got more options, you know?"

You shrug, absently. You don't know the answer yourself. It's one thing that Sukuna never quite lets you leave but it's another thing you come back to him every time. You settle on your reply with closed eyes then laugh a little too loud. Gojo doesn't startle.

"Who knows? But you know, thank you anyway. It's good to have options. Maybe it'll knock some sense into me,"

Friendly again. He's a nice guy you think.

"If it doesn't, make sure to give me a call. I'm pretty great too, y'know."

You give him a lighthearted smile.

It's hard to hear much over the loud thump of music. You're not very in touch with your surroundings and the pleasant air around you all but swallows you.

It takes you a minute. Longer than you care to admit, to realize that someone is approaching you. Even longer to realize who.

Sukuna is looming over you and Gojo when you finally look up.

"Having fun?"

You blink, pulling away to make sure you're hearing correctly. Sinking back into your chair, your eyes flicker up to whats casting shadow overhead. His voice almost bellows, deep and coarse but not loud.

"I thought you weren't coming," Is all you can think to say. Sukuna rolls his eyes.

"Yeah. I thought so too,"

He doesn't ask you to get up as much as he tugs you towards him. He's careful not to pull too hard but you come up still on a stumble, drink still in hand, and face in his chest. Your heart thumps, embarrassed by the sudden warmth. His hand sits on your lower back and suddenly there's a conversation happening overhead.

"Quit sticking your nose where it doesn't belong," He spits. He's talking to Gojo you realize.

"Be careful there, nii-san. You're gonna make it seem like you care."

Sukuna tenses under you before he relaxes again - rolling his eyes. He's not happy about it but you can hear that he's trying not to let it show.

"Stay out of it." Sukuna demands. Gojo whistles.

"Sure, sure. You two have fun there."

Sukuna turns you around like that, your face still in his chest as he drags you away. You hear Gojo laugh faintly as you walk further away from the crowd.

__

You don't really get any explanation from Sukuna as he packs you and himself in the backseat of his car.

He's quiet the entire walk there, and the air is so heavy your lungs can't find a breath around it. He doesn't say anything to you even as he opens the back door. He tells you to get in but doesn't show any emotion you discern.

Instead you end up laying in the backseat with Sukuna over you - cramped as his tongue slips all the way into your mouth and his hands grab your waist. All too sudden, without any ceremony at all.

You kiss back because he's being so suffocating and it's all you can think to do to appease him. As soon as he lets you breathe, you put a hand on his chest and push him away.

You make eye contact but he still hasn't said a word. "Are you mad?"

He sneers. "You tell me,"

He ducks down again to kiss you and you let him this time, doing your best to gauge what exactly he's thinking. You know he's upset, rather - but it's weird. Something is different about it.

His mouth is hot as he hands slide underneath your shirt further- his knees keeping your legs apart as his thigh presses against your clothed sex. You shiver, moaning into his mouth and Sukuna swallows the noise. Gasping, you pull back again.

"All you do is piss me off you brat," He tugs your lip back between his incisors as he speaks, voice bordering on a snarl. "You should know better than to cozy up to that idiot."

You squirm. "I wasn't cozying—"

"You think I'm fucking stupid? Think I don't got eyes to see with?" And then, like he's predicting your next question. "Yuuji texted me."

"And you came?" You stop, keeping him from going any further. "You came 'cause Yuu-chan sent you a picture of me and Gojo-kun....?"

He ignores your question. "Take your pants off,"

You make a face at him but oblige, hands unbuttoning your jeans as Sukuna practically tugs you out of them and your panties in one go. He sits back up on his legs and maneuvers carefully to keep his hands between your thighs. His middle finger runs through your slit, palm putting pressure on your clit.

He's rushing more than normal, mouth crushing yours again in a kiss so heavy it makes you gasp. You feel like you're imagining it but each time you pull back - his teeth sink into your lips until they're throbbing from how hard he's bitten them up.

He's possessive. Always has been. He's territorial over you in one way or another over everything, but it's usually only when you threaten to leave. There's a merit to what Gojo said about keeping you held down. But even in that, there's never any emotion stronger than annoyance to follow your little tantrums. You wouldn't call what you feel now desperation by any stretch.

But it's something more then simple possession and it makes you ache.

"I wasn't gonna do anything with him." You say half-way between a breath. You see his jaw tick with irritation at the mere thought. "It was just for fun—"

He quiets you with his fingers. With his hands, rough - spitting hard on your clit from where above making it splatter against your thighs. His fingers fingers the thick layer of spit and drag them down against your throbbing clit to make it wetter. He touches you hard and fast, places kisses against your jaw and collar before sinking his teeth into the clothed shape of your tits.

His fingers find your pussy not long after. Thick, scarred, intrusive - he slips them in one at a time. As much as he knows you can take until he touches that spot inside of you that leaves your whole body tingling. Knuckle deep, he presses his palms up against your clit to make sure you have the right friction. You moan his name loud, eyes rolling up into your head,

The windows are starting to fog.

"Sukuna,"

He grabs hold of your face with free hand, bordering on a snarl. It's mean you think, but more then that there's a genuine frustration to it that makes you shiver almost shamefully.

"You're mine." He sneers. You feel your cunt twitch unhelpfully at but Sukuna doesn't budge. Doesn't even go to make fun of you He just keeps growling, leaning in to kiss you - forcing his tongue into your mouth and pulling away again. "Get close with that bastard and I'll kill him."

Your stomach flutters in arousal at the aggression in it. The unreasonable, unhelpful, trained part of your brain nearly screams. He wants you, he wants you, he wants. It makes you wanna—

"G-gonna—gonna cum, fuck, Sukuna."

He kisses you again, murmuring against your lips. "Cum,"

Your thighs clamp around Sukuna's wrists as he continues to finger you, grinding yourself the edge of his palm as you ride out your high. Your voice pitches into a high whine, spine arching. It's rushed but intense, scratching the itch but not enough to tamp down the heat completely. You squirt around his fingers in a full blown gasp and find you can barely get your head above water.

You cum hard, convulsing. He doesn't move his hand until you grab him by the wrist and shake your head. Surprisingly, he listens easily and pulls away.

You pause and stare at him after you've caught your breath.

"What's wrong with you today?"

"Stay the fuck away from that guy."

You roll your eyes. "He's right. It's starting to sound like you love me or something. I wasn't gonna sleep with him anyway so chill out."

He scoffs. "Don't even fucking dream of it. I'd kill you both."

You take a second to look at him. You can't read him to save your life. But he's looking back at you, into you maybe, in a way that makes you wonder if there's something about him you're missing. You wrap your arms around his neck just to see if he'll tell you to stop clinging.

He doesn't though.

"Did you really come all the way here 'cause of what Yuu-chan sent you?"

He glares at you. "Are you deaf? Didn't I say that?"

"But then it sounds like you were jealous."

He rolls his eyes. "You're stupid."

"....You were jealous? Really?"

"Shut up already," He says. And maybe it's the alcohol but you swear his face goes warm. "And seriously stay away from that idiot. If I see some shit like that again I'm locking you in the house and chaining you to my bed."

"Weird proposal but okay."

"Dumbass."

"You love me,"

He rolls his eyes and goes to kiss you. Doesn't deny it, you notice. You pretend not to be giddy.

"Whatever."

✮ extended authors note ; hi!! i hope sukunas personality made sense here.

my point with sukuna in modern is that i think it takes away a lot of his unsavory aspects but the deep sense of possession and ownership sort of stays. this is a modern au so he's different from canon in many ways.

he has a hard time committing but he also does not do things he doesnt want to so him spending time with you and wanting your loyalty are both genuine desires. he understands why you're entertaining gojo's flirting and rationally knows it's unfair to want loyalty from you.

but he's into you so he gets. fucking pissed anyway. skjsjd. anyways i hope u liked it and i hope it made sense!! i just wanted to add this incase!!!

[agroteraa]

The Best Friend in the Whole Wide Universe

Tenth Doctor x gn!Reader

My fic masterlist

Summary: Donna Noble helps you and the Doctor sort out your feelings, but only if you help her avoid becoming a bride once again.

Tags: fluff, mutual pining.

Word Count: 4,2K

"Doctor, where are you now?" a voice came from the phone, "I need you here and now!"

"Donna? He-e-ey! Hi, how are you? You won't believe where I've been..." the Doctor began joyfully, but a voice from the phone irritably interrupted him, "RIGHT. NOW!"

You were sitting on the couch in the console room of the TARDIS and looked up from your book in surprise, "Donna? Is this that Donna?"

"Oh yes," the Doctor goggled his eyes, "And apparently we're flying to her right now! I know that tone."

You were excited. You knew that the Doctor had traveled with her before, and for quite a long time. Longer than you? Probably, you didn't know for sure. But you knew exactly what you were starting to worry. They were friends, he said, but were they? Maybe they were more than that? Maybe there was still something? You would never have started thinking that way right away if you weren't having feelings for the Doctor yourself.

A few months ago, you were finally able to understand this and admit it to yourself. But did he understand something? Of course not. And you weren't going to confess to him, you didn't want to spoil this wonderful, fantastic, brilliant friendship between you. Because he was wonderful, fantastic and brilliant. You've had so many incredible adventures, and you hoped there was much more to come. You didn't want to, couldn't spoil and complicate it all with most likely non-reciprocal feelings.

And yet you began to think more and more about the warm looks he gave you, how he constantly hugged you and hold your hand gently but firmly. He used to do this during your runnings, but recently he had been doing it just like that if he led you through or helped you step up somewhere. Sometimes holding you by the waist. God. You would never let go of his hand if it was possible. His hand was warm, with the tips of his long fingers being slightly cold.

But you tried to stop yourself from thinking with that he was just a tactile alien, just a person who was used to communicating with so many people quite that way. Especially with his companions. It was stupid to think that he was less nice to them than he was to you.

So, the chance to ruin everything was much, much greater than taking the risk and confessing your feelings to him.

Ten minutes later, the Doctor was knocking on Donna's door. Opening the door, she happily opened her mouth, squeaking and throwing herself into the arms of the alien.

"Doctor!!!"

"Donna!!!"

He hugged her and spun her around in his arms. Releasing her back to the ground, he took a step back to you, proudly declaring, "Y/N, this is Donna Noble, my best friend in the whole wide universe! Donna Noble, this is Y/N… My, well... Y/N L/N."

The doctor looked puzzled, quickly looking from you to Donna, as if he didn't know what else he could say about you. Whereas he called Donna his best friend. In the whole universe. Oh. It hurt you. Maybe you need to go through even more time travels and trials, but you thought, you wanted to believe that there was something special between you, that it was you who could be his best friend. But it turns out that he didn't even call you just a friend. He probably didn't want to offend with such a comparison after all.

Donna grinned at him.

"Hi, Y/N L/N!" she said, playfully pronouncing your name and looking you over. But she quickly returned to the Doctor, ceasing to smile, "So, now let's get back to business."

"Get back to what? You haven't even told me what happened to you!" The Doctor complained.

"You tell me! Why is it that so long after our adventures, some alien knocked on my door this morning and told me that my hour had finally come and tomorrow I would be honored and taken to the wedding? What sort of wedding?? I've had enough of running around with you from other aliens in a wedding dress, you know!"

The Doctor frowned, "What alien? Describe them."

"It’s a turquoise semi-lizard. Just like on the planet..."

"Lacertius-3!" exclaimed the Doctor.

"Yes, that's right. Where you and I were captured by some local king or something..."

"Of course! And where I told him that you would become his bride, so that..."

"YOU SAID WHAT?!"

"... so that he would let us go! How do you think we got out of there?"

"Doctor..." you interjected, gently tugging at his coat sleeve, but he didn't pay attention to it given he was busy defending himself from Donna's attacks, "Doctor!"

"Hmm?" he turned to you.

"Do these Lacertises have a crest on their heads?" you asked.

"Lacertonians, not Lacertises. But yes, they do. Oh, well done, Y/N, you're learning fast from me the cognition of the universe," The Doctor chuckled approvingly, but then frowned, "But how did you know?"

You silently pointed your finger to the side, where two such lizard people were standing, who began to move towards you, "It seems we should probably-"

"RUN!" the Doctor shouted, grabbing both of you by the arms.

"No, but tell me, WHY did you promise that to that lizard king?!" Donna asked indignantly, out of breath from running.

"To save us, I told you! Well, and I didn't "promise", I just said it! And if you didn't know, and you didn't, these creatures have a habit of choosing a new partner once every hundred years..."

You barely dodged the blue beam of the blaster, and the Doctor had to jump over the guardrail.

"...but who knew that those hundred years were already coming to an end!"

"Well, YOU should have known, Mr. Smartass!" snapped Donna, sweeping a cyclist riding towards her off the road. The blasters fired a few more times after you, but you managed to turn the corner after the others in time.

You were breathing heavily, hiding in a small corner.

"Are you okay?" the Doctor asked anxiously, lightly touching your cheek, "These were most likely stun blasters, not attack blasters, but nevertheless! Did it hurt you?"

"No, Doctor, it's fine!" you assured him, running your hand over his forearm and looking into his eyes. There was a slight pause.

"I'm fine too, if anyone cares! No, just won-der-ful! Except for the fact that they want to make me the wife of some lizard! Doctor, do something about it!" demanded Donna.

You spent the rest of the day running around London, hiding from the Lacertonians as they surrounded the TARDIS and Donna's house. You sneaked your way back to the nearby cafe, from where you started to spy of the window at the TARDIS and all the lizards surrounding it and try to come up with a plan of action. The Doctor was visibly relaxed, as the whole situation did not seem too serious to him against the background of saving planets and galaxies and even "just" someone's lives. Of course, he would help, but the whole adventure was perceived by him as more of a side quest, during which he allowed himself jokes about Donna's new lizard husband and simply demonstrated a good mood from meeting an old friend.

Right now, he was sitting with you across from Donna, with his arm thrown over the couch, and eating ice cream from your bowl.

"Doctor, enough!" you jokingly protested, "You've already eaten your own, go get another portion for yourself!"

He grinned broadly, scooping up another spoonful of sherbet, "You know it tastes better this way. Besides, I don't have any Earth money!"

You moaned, pushing his spoon away from your bowl with your spoon. He deftly fended off your attack, took your spoon aside and scooped up some more ice cream, "Don't even try. I don't like weapon, but I'm definitely better at fencing than you are!"

Before you could say something indignantly, he put that spoon in his mouth, smiling innocently, lights danced in his eyes.

Donna, who was sitting opposite with a stony face, asked, "Am I bothering you two? I can invite you both to witness my apparently future wedding."

"Sorry. So, what is our plan?" the Doctor asked a little more seriously, although the smile was still playing on his lips. Before Donna could say anything, he continued, "I've already thought of everything! That!"

"A spoon...?" said still-Miss Noble, puzzled.

"Yes... Melchior! In this cafe the kitchen utensils are made of nickel silver! This alloy should reflect the rays of the P-type in its composition! Let's take some trays..."

"And lure these lizards out step by step, reflecting their paralyzing rays back into themselves!" said Donna.

"Exactly, brilliant!"

It turned out to be quite long and tedious, but Donna coped with the task best of all, in the end even stunning one of the Lacertonians with this very tray shouting "I'm not going to marry your boss!"

Laughing, the Doctor ran into the TARDIS and hugged Donna, saying, "Isn't the legendary Donna Noble the best? Oh, how I missed this!" and went to set up the spaceship for the course to the planet of the turquoise lizardmen.

"I'm warning you, it's going to take quite a long time to fly there, so you go do something… Oh no," the Doctor groaned, "They damaged the defensive system while they were trying to get in here! We need to fix it before our stop at Lacertius-3! So definitely go and get busy with something, yeah?"

That was what you did, taking a walk around the TARDIS with Donna.

"I missed it. Everything is so familiar and at the same time... unusual..." she mused, running her hand along the walls of the spaceship, "When you stop traveling with the Doctor, it starts to feel like you don't belong here anymore, even though there is such a bittersweet feeling of nostalgia, as if you have returned to your hometown or school..."

You smiled slightly, "I think he's very happy to see you and even... ready to travel with you again if you wanted to?"

"What?" asked Donna, "Oh no, my time here is over, it's your turn to enjoy it. And you seem to be doing it well," she grinned, "The Doctor's favorite companion."

"What?" it was your turn to wonder, "Didn't you hear that he called you..." your voice trembled slightly, "The best friend in the whole universe?"

She laughed, "Yes, which makes me very flattered. And the Doctor is my best friend too, even if he is far away from me now. And?"

"And... and I'm his... Y/N? Y/N L/N, to be precise, as he said."

"Yes? Would you also like to be his best-best friend? I'm sure he greatly appreciates you as a friend too, of course! It's the Doctor! I can't imagine that this man would fall in love with someone without seeing them as a close friend!"

"He would WHAT?"

"What?" Donna was no less shocked than you were, "Aren't you...? Aren't you... a thing, the two of you?"

Looking at your speechless face, Donna had an insight, "Oh, did I make a mistake? I'm sorry, Y/N, it just seemed so natural.… I wanted to ask later, but it's good that it happened between us now. I thought you liked him, I'm sorry. Are you sure it’s not the case?"

"I..." you could barely mumble it softly, feeling your cheeks fill with heat, "Like him..."

"Oh...OH," and now Donna had a final insight, "This man. This SPACEMAN. Sure. I should have known. I'll go and tell him everything..."

"What? No, no, no, what are you going to tell him??" You barely managed to stop Donna in her determined stride back to the console room of the TARDIS, where the Doctor was still fiddling with the protective field settings.

"That he's the biggest idiot in the universe. In case he didn't know about it yet, but apparently he didn't."

"What do you mean?"

Now she stopped herself, "I didn't know it makes the two of you here… Are you serious right now?"

"Don't tell me he likes me too. I mean, likes me so much so that..."

"What do you think, Y/N? From the minute he introduced you, I felt there was some other energy here. And I sense it, believe me! You've been acting like a couple the whole day. The way he held your hand, asking if everything was okay.… Oh, and the cafe? Do I really need to say that I felt like a third wheel on your date? If this isn't flirting, then what is?"

You were embarrassed, "We were just chatting and sitting there… As usual."

"And how often does he usually throw his arm around you and hugs you?"

"He what? We were just sitting next to each other! His hand was on the couch..."

"... lying almost on your shoulder. Oh, please, Y/N." Donna twisted her smile.

You were visibly confused, "I can understand all this... probably… But nothing else is happening, right?"

"And it won't happen as long as the two of you..." she began, but was pushed back against the wall of the TARDIS with you. You heard the Doctor's voice, "We're here!"

"Please don't say anything to him now! Donna, I'm serious! I'll handle this on my own, okay?" you pleaded. You still couldn't believe what she'd said, and you definitely wanted to think about it some more.

But there was really no time to continue the conversation – you were immediately captured by a series of adventures on the planet Lacertius-3: you soon met a girl of another race, the adventurer Piich, who told you that you could try to appease the lizard king with an ancient treasure, showed you the way through the red lush jungles to the temple, where you had your daily portion of running through the traps (although the most dangerous thing was enraged Donna). The ancient treasure, of course, turned out to be a product of technology from a completely different forgotten alien race (but, of course, the Doctor knew about it).

Then Piich helped you get into the king's castle, where you were hiding from the guards, running away from the guards, and eventually tried to appease the king with the treasure, who immediately forgot about it after seeing an alien girl who helped you on your travels. But did she help?

To your great luck, Piich forgot about her initial plan and about her upcoming reward, which she wanted to get by giving Donna to the lizard king, because, to even greater luck, the lizard king forgot about Donna when he saw Piich, and decided to make Piich his new wife. Unlike the human red-haired woman, this alien girl was not at all opposed to marrying the king of an entire planet, albeit modest in its size.

Everyone was left satisfied and having their feet sore. And personally, you also got the vague feeling that the Doctor was acting a little strange and distant, communicating more with Donna the rest of the day than with you.

You were invited to a feast, but you all refused it. The Doctor, because he didn't like feasts, Donna, because she found out that the king has a crown prince and wouldn’t he just dare to lay his lizard eyes on her. And you, who didn't have an appetite and mood at all because of the whole thing with the Doctor and that interrupted conversation with Donna. You decided to finish it while the Doctor was chatting lively with Piich and congratulating the future newlyweds.

"See?" You said softly to Donna, pointing to the Doctor and how he nicely communicated with Piich and hugged her tightly, "I'm far from being the only one in the universe with whom the Doctor behaves like this. Plus, I know how many companions he had. I won’t believe he was any less sweet to them than he was to me."

"You've got to believe it. Moreover, there will be another proof soon. A-a-and… now!" Donna elbowed you lightly. At that moment, the Doctor, continuing his conversation with Peach and the lizard king, began to look around the room and finally saw you and smiled so broadly. You couldn't help but smile back, and he slightly but merrily jumped up a little on the spot and continued his conversation with two aliens.

"How did you know he was going to turn around??"

"See? Secrets of the Time Lords," Donna smirked, "Seriously, Y/N, it doesn't take a minute for the Doctor to look at you, no matter where you are! Don't you notice that? If that's the case, you can thank me and take it as a sign to act at last."

You stood there, amazed once again, and your slightly numb brain could only come up with, "Yes, but... Rose?..."

Donna paused, and then continued, "What do you mean? She was... a long time ago. And as I see it, he's finally happy now again, really happy. He allowed himself to be like that. With you. Do you understand, Y/N, how he looks at you? It's not just a gaze of a friend. He laughs, smiles like a child, a happy child. And all other things he does with you. Because of you. No, just... don't argue. I’ve traveled with him and have known him for a long time to say that he has never looked at others or me like that. And he won't ever. I'm just his best friend in the whole wide universe, after all."

She smiled.

"Now go and do something about it, you two."

You were finally back on the spaceship. Before launching the TARDIS, the Doctor was leaning against the frame of the open door, dreamily but slightly sadly admiring the view of the blooming red jungle with silver flowers. You knew what he was thinking, because he often told you about his home planet.

"Just like on Gallifrey..." he said with a mixture of nostalgia and longing in his voice and added softly, "I wish I could take you there."

Your eyes met, and there was silence. Your heart skipped a beat, making you remember the conversation you had with Donna before.

"Doctor, I..."

"Well! Let's go home, then!" he interrupted you, abruptly turning deep into the TARDIS, he went to the console, intending to take off. You followed him, not knowing what exactly you wanted to say to him, but you didn't want to left the dialogue like that. But the Doctor didn't seem to be paying attention to you, fiddling with the buttons on the console with slightly trembling hands, carefully avoiding your gaze.

"Hey, Doc, wait!" said Donna, "I want to walk around here a little more. It's not that I'm visiting another planets so much these days, you know," she winked and headed outside the TARDIS.

"Wait, wait, wait, Donna, I'm going with you!" the Doctor protested and was about to left with her. Well. He didn't even want to continue the dialogue and listen to what you were going to tell him.

But still-Miss Noble turned him and said through clenched teeth, "No, Spaceman, you stay here, I want to go for a walk ALONE. Do you understand me?" she scowled at him and before the Doctor could object, she slammed the TARDIS door shut, leaving the two of you alone.

The silence returned to you again, and the Doctor came back to the TARDIS console. Usually you did not understand most of his manipulations with technology, but even you already began to feel that his actions were meaningless at that moment.

"Doctor..." you started.

"So, now we'll set up a return route and I should probably do a condition check of the ship, in case something is damaged again..." he muttered.

"Doctor!"

He turned around, there was an almost unreadable mix of emotions in his eyes, so many of them were at one point in time.

You came a little closer, "Doctor, I... want to talk to you, if I may."

"Yes, Y/N?" his eyebrows started to rise up slightly pleadingly.

"You said that Donna is your best friend in the whole universe."

"That's right!" The Doctor smiled broadly, feeling slightly relieved, thinking that this was the point of the conversation, "She's brilliant, isn't she? Now you've seen it for yourself!"

"And then who am I?"

He stopped smiling for a moment, swallowed, and then a nervous wry smile began to appear on his face along with a red color on his cheeks.

"Y-you... well, you're also my… best friend, of course!"

"Isn't the point of a best friend that there can only be one?"

"Yes!" the Doctor readily agreed.

"Then how is this possible?" you wondered.

"Well, Donna is my best platonic friend," the Doctor replied, not realizing what trap he had just walked himself into.

"What kind of friend am I, then?" you asked.

"And you... are… not platonic..." he said slowly and softly, turning even redder.

You'd just noticed that with every question and answer you took a step towards each other, and now you were inches apart. Your own cheeks started to burn from that realization.

He was so close now, you looked at his beautiful face and once again wanted to count all the freckles on it. Your gaze moved from his thin nose to his thin but sensual lips, and then to expressive eyes of the color of a melted chocolate.

"Can you explain to me it better..?" You almost whispered, raising your eyes to him.

The Doctor brought his face close to yours with his mouth slightly open and his eyelids half-closed, lightly hugged your shoulders. You began to hear his breath and the beating of his two hearts, which became louder and louder. It was all happening like in a slow motion.

And then he kissed you.

It was a very gentle and careful kiss, you could feel the tingle from his warm, slightly electrified lips, which sent goosebumps through your whole body. He pulled back a bit to see your reaction, his eyes expressing a mixture of tenderness and incredible seriousness, bordering on the almost immobility of his gaze.

Your hands moved to his waist during the kiss, and they stayed there.

"Yes." was all you said, reaching out to him and kissing him back more firmly. With a loud exhale and a light moan, he deepened the kiss, which made you want to moan yourself, increasing the degree of emotion every turning second.

It was as if his lips were made for yours, as if they were pieces of a puzzle that had once been there. Like himself as a whole, it was one big piece of the puzzle that had finally come together, completely and irrevocably.

After a lips-to-lips kiss that seemed to last forever, he ran his tongue over your lower lip, asking for permission to go inside. Did he need that permission? Of course not, but you were glad that he asked it non-verbally anyway.

You opened your mouth slightly and the Doctor, sighing noisily, slipped his tongue deep into you. It felt like some sort of a human and alien heaven already, but now it had become absolutely impossibly good. Your tongues danced with each other as your legs felt weak, your whole body seemed to melt in the Doctor's arms. Your Doctor’s arms.

Your arms, which had been hugging his neck for a long time, moved to his hair, burrowing into it. Oh, how you'd wanted to touch them for a long time. Not to ruffle them jokingly like you'd done a couple of times before, but... like this. As if you had every right to do that. Now you probably really had it now, and that made your legs even wobblier.

You pulled his hair lightly, which made the Doctor moan slightly, and you felt his arms tighten around you. It seems that both of you were ready to split into atoms from all the feelings that overwhelmed you.

It was a wonderful feeling of the nucleating supernova of your love.

"Doctor, I..." it was all you could say after that, to which he just happily exhaled, smiling broadly, looking into your eyes and gently holding your shoulders, being not able to say anything himself.

You were amazed not only by what happened, but also by how quickly it all happened. Then it began to dawn on you. You smiled a little.

"Let me guess... Did Donna talk to you too?"

While the Doctor was taking a deep breath to give some long, babbling answer, at that moment the door of the TARDIS slightly opened, from where Miss Noble herself stepped inside.

"Of course. Because how else could you two figure it out?" she replied nonchalantly, "Now I have every right to invite you two to my future wedding. NOT with an alien husband, I emphasize, otherwise I'll put you at different tables, and you'll just sit here and only be giving Y/N all the hopeless looks again, Doctor. Waiting and dying for my wedding dance all day long, so that after it you can get to and finally invite Y/N to dance or something like that!"

You laughed happily with the Doctor, still holding together and looking into each other's eyes, realizing that this just sounded like the first plan for your future together, one of the many, very many plans in this whole wide universe.

[jinnie-ret]

9th member reader where skz are on a talk show or smth and the host is saying some uncomfy stuff abt reader being the only girl in a group of boys. the boys would be kinda passive aggressive about their replies because they cant outright say anything for fear of bad publicity and being disrespectful. i like the idea of the boys sticking up for reader in any way they can, even if they have to be sly about it so reader knows they have their back

bite my tongue

stray kids x ninth member!reader

genre: angst

content warnings: sexual harassment (verbal)

word count: 1.6k

summary: when an interviewer decides to pick on you specifically, the boys do their best to hold back and get you out of the situation.

Thank you so much for this request! I'm sorry it took so long for me to answer but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!!

As always, like, reblog if you enjoyed, and my asks are open for any requests you may have. And let me know if you'd like to be tagged when I post :)

MAIN MASTERLIST

You decided you hated interviews. There was clearly a difference between how they'd talk to the boys in comparison to how they'd treat you. Whether it was by completely ignoring your existence or sexualising you as the only female in the group, it made you feel awful. The gross comments that were made caused you to feel uncomfortable, yet your demeanour was too shy to fight back. Perhaps that was a good thing, you had 8 other members to defend you at all times anyways.

You were currently doing an interview to promote S-CLASS, your new title track, and it seemed to be a nice atmosphere, a nice sit down conversation where you could talk about your music mixed in with other personal questions to make it more fun. But that was the issue, it wasn't fun. It started off light-hearted, and you worried you were being sensitive and overreacting at first when you suspected the questions you received weren't normal ones, but by the expressions on the boys' faces, you realised you were right to feel this way.

"So, Y/N, tell me, what was it like getting to do a more masculine dance this time? I saw the music video and I was quite surprised at how well you did," the male interviewer started off.

You mouth visibly dropped open in shock, yet you did your best to answer, despite your nerves.

"Ummm, I think my dance skills have improved over the years, yes," you said, not able to make eye contact with the man, not directly saying anything about his prejudiced words.

You had been with Stray Kids from the very start. Yes, the public had their things to say about you being in a group with a bunch of guys, but it had been 5 years now. Of course you were accustomed to the dance style of Stray Kids. You had created your own image through your music and dance, so what if the dance moves were typically more powerful with sharper movements? You were part of the dance line for a reason.

"Our Y/Nnie did so well," Hyunjin ruffled your hair from where he was sat behind you, trying to lighten the mood as he could tell his other members weren't too happy with how you were being treated.

You turned to Hyunjin with a thankful smile.

"So, 3RACHA, you do all the producing for the group right? That's quite a unique situation amongst idol groups," the man asked the group, and nearly everyone let out a sigh of relief and allowed themselves to smile, grateful for a normal question.

"Ah yes, 3RACHA have been together since predebut, so we've worked hard over the years to create music that represents our group and who we are," Jisung nodded and explained.

You couldn't help but check the time on your watch, seeing there was still 10 minutes to go.

"Y/N, how did it feel having to squeeze into your outfit in the MV? I noticed it was quite a tight leather jumpsuit you wore, that must have been difficult to wear considering it clinged onto you so tightly," the man directed his question at you again, and you were taken aback once more.

"It, umm, it wasn't too difficult, yeah... I think it fitted the vibe of the song," you said, clearly uncomfortable as you shifted in your seat.

Why did you get these types of questions? The boys got asked about music, and you instead got ridiculed for your skills and sexualised by the gross man in his mid 40s.

"Don't you want to ask me about how I fitted into my outfit? I've been working out these days," Changbin tensed his arms, flexing and patting his muscles proudly as he took the attention away from you. He seemed to have been thinking the same way as you.

"Maybe you should help Y/N, she's so small and weak, you could do anything you wanted with her," the man suggestively wiggled his eyebrows at you, and quite frankly, you wanted to throw up.

"Have you been working out, sir?" Minho spoke sharply and asked the man, infuriated.

"Oh yes I'm quite strong, can lift just about anyone in this room," he said. The statement of course, inferred he was challenging everyone else, yet his eyes never left your shy and nervous figure sat on the stool.

Everyone could see it. And they knew it was time for something to be done. They didn't think they could last the rest of the interview without punching the interviewer in the face. Yet, they did their best to keep their composure.

"Sorry, sir," Chan began through gritted teeth, tongue poking his cheek, "unfortunately we don't have anymore time for this interview," and he gestured everyone to stand up and follow his lead, exiting the room.

As you did so, you saw the blatantly shocked face on the man's face, Felix wrapping an arm around your shoulder as you left.

The boys were calm, until you made it to your backstage room where you had gotten ready earlier. All hell broke loose.

"What does that man think he's doing?" Changbin slammed his hand down onto the table, making you jump as you stayed quiet.

"I can't believe all those stupid things he was saying!" Minho growled, folding his arms.

"He's disgusting," Seungmin shook his head.

Chan was the angriest of them all, face of thunder as he paced the room. And yet, you couldn't help but feel bad. Surely, that interview couldn't be released now? And it was meant to help promote your new music, and because of your presence in the group, you felt like you were taking that opportunity away from them.

"Y/Nnie?" Jeongin waved his hand in your face to get your attention.

"Hmm?" you shook your head wondering what he was asking.

"Are you okay?" he asked gently, and with all the anger that was in the room, it dissipated with your calm voice breaking through it.

"I guess..." you didn't really know what to say at this point. You felt like you should have been used to it by now.

"I know that look on your face, Y/Nnie, don't even go there," Chan shook his head at you, a frown still present on his face.

"I don't want to do interviews anymore," you suddenly blurted, fiddling with your hands nervously.

"Y/N..." Hyunjin sighed, but you cut him off.

"Every time we promote something we get an interview like this that can't be put out to the public. And it's because I'm here. And then that means our music will be getting out to less people out there and-" you fretted.

"If you seriously think this is your fault Y/N," Seungmin sat up, pure disbelief seeping through his words as he couldn't believe that even with the way you were being treated you still felt guilty.

"Y/N, you didn't make that interviewer say all those gross things towards you," Felix rubbed your shoulder soothingly.

"You actually did really well to still try and answer him," Jisung nodded at you, thinking that he wouldn't have been able to have done the same thing.

"I had to bite my tongue so many times to not shout at him," Changbin gritted his teeth.

"This is why I shouldn't do these anymore, because it just ends up stressing you guys out," you felt bad, sitting down with your leg bouncing up and down.

"You're worried about us? We're worried about you, it's not fair that someone talks to you like that," Jeongin shook his head, hands on his hips.

"Y/N, here's what we're going to do. First, we're going to file a complaint against that guy. And second, for all future interviews we'll get the company to do a thorough check on if they're respectful and actually treat their guests right," Chan began, a plan already sorted in his mind for what action they could take.

"You're part of this group as much as anyone else, we can't represent Stray Kids without you there with us," Minho said like it was obvious, but it didn't feel that way to you.

"But it's always going to be the same thing. I'd rather not risk it again," you say, upset at the situation you had all been put in.

"Chan hyung already said, we can check what the show is like before going on it. That way you can decide from there, yeah?" Felix suggested, hand stroking through your hair as he sat next to you on the sofa.

"Or if you really don't want to do interviews anymore, I'm sure there's a way we can work around it. We could do more company based promotions and Div.1 can help us make our own shows?" Jisung wondered.

"No, I don't want to make things more complicated... I'll do them, I will, I just don't want this to ever happen again. It stresses me out, makes me feel all, gross," you shuddered.

"As long as you're sure, Y/N," Changbin checked in on you as everyone grabbed their things ready to leave the studio.

"Yeah, I'm sure," you mustered up a small smile, leaving with the others.

As you walked to the cars, you spoke up again, speaking louder than your normal quiet voice to catch the attention of everyone else.

"Thanks, by the way guys. Thank you for doing that."

"You don't have to thank us for that, Y/Nnie. We'd do that anytime, you know that," Hyunjin ruffled your hair, him and the rest of the boys now seeming more themselves and happier as you were leaving.

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng

[yandere-daydreams]

Daytrip Illumi my beloved... and poor Darling. You capture how unnerving and unsettling he should be so well!

Illumi should be Strange and Uncanny even at his mildest(? not sure if an Illumi in love could be 'mild', but idk if it could be called volatile either. Darling was right, you can't ever tell with him); man was cosplaying Pinhead for a week. He could talk the whole time but just literally rattled at people. And poor Ghost, my stomach just dropped because everything so far was downright too tame and too thoughtful for a Yandere.

Aside from the porn, I was waiting for that drop. Darling really can't have nice things, can't she? Or rather, she can't have anything he's not able to take. Whether a Darling is defiant (Obedience Training, Ingress) or submissive (Daytrip) he's always going to pile on the trauma.

But the moment he started mouthing and groping at her in the car, I knew he was out of patience. Everything else that day was window dressing and foreplay, and the bit where she picks a cute, frilly, puff-sleeved dress really sold the toy and doll comparison later, she was so right at the observation that Illumi took her as a ballerina for his music box. In the end, the daytrip really wasn't for her to enjoy: he ripped up her dream dress, dashed her hope that her cat was doing well without her, and didn't get to eat anything at the picnic aside from the morsel he gave her. Girl couldn't even enjoy the scenery cause he blocked it off with himself. The end was so despondent in comparison to the beginning where she resolves to take any out that presents itself, falling asleep and giving into the dark (Illumi) swallowing her.

And meanwhile, Illumi's just had an epiphany on why his parents kept having kids even after the designated heir Killua. And also patting himself on the back cause he checked off all the boxes on his 'perfect romantic date to-do list', and gotten the *ideal* ending of having finally lost his v-card. 10/10, Great Day. Would do again sometime (but not too soon).

The juxtapostion between her opinion of how the daytrip went and his opinion of how it went must be... something. I almost don't want to know, and I don't know how to properly describe what this made me feel, but it's visceral.

i love it when you people treat my silly little fics like they need to be studied under a microscope,,,, i will be living on this ask for weeks thank you anon <3

illumi just makes me,,, yeah. i feel like there's so little you can do to actually fight against him (running's not an option when he has you under surveillance 24/7, fighting a seasoned hitman won't end well, etc.), but good behavior only makes him more likely to proceed with the awful things he would've done anyway, had you spent every minute from your inevitably kidnapping kicking, screaming, and cursing his name. he's got a running checklist of uncomfortable positions he'd like to see you in, and it's less a question of when you'll be ready for it and more what he'll have to do to make you compliant enough to be, if not a willing participant, than a docile one. i think he does care about your feelings and you loving him back, but your priorities are so drastically different that you two are never actually going to end up on the same page. in his mind, he's done his research (i.e. played roughly a hundred hours of the most popular dating sims he could get his hands on), been a good partner, and taken very good care of his beloved doll/pet/captive. in yours, you've been violated and abused by the man who both kidnapped you and admitted to killing your cat without blinking, and there's very little reconciliation from there.

[gravehags]

Your choice of Papa or ghoul/ghoulette f!reader can be NSFW or not.

New sibling of sin jumpy over everything. Every little sound.

Hope this helps!!

the ghovie got my on my papa iv shit. something sweet for you :)

~~~

"Shit."

The clatter of your dropped mop echoes in the marble room and you look guiltily at the mausoleum occupants as if you've somehow disturbed their rest. You didn't think you were easily freaked out before you joined the Ministry but ever since moving in as a novice after your unholy baptism you've been on edge. The sister who assigned the duties around the abbey must have smelled the fear on you when she tightly smirked and informed you you would be working graveyard cleaning duties in the Emeritus crypt. Bitch, you think sourly as you push your reacquired mop into your bucket and slide it along the floor. You didn't know what you had expected when you joined the Ministry but the precarious social hierarchy is not something you particularly excel at. More than anything you just want to catch a glimpse of Papa once more. When you attended your first ritual and watched him on stage in those tight pants and sequined jacket you were enthralled - and that was before he even started singing. Your infatuated sigh echoes in the dimly lit room as you think about his big, gloved hands and what they could do to--

"Eh, hello."

"Fucking shit!" you shriek, once again dropping your mop and spinning on the spot with your hand over your mouth. The person standing before you winces. He's slight and wears a red velour tracksuit over a black shirt that says something you can't see from your position. On his feet are black dress shoes and his hands - currently anxiously clasping each other - sport black leather gloves. When you look at his face - bare except for the black paints around the eyes and upper lip you've come to associate with most upper clergy - it takes you a minute of squinting before you're able to mentally apply the rest of the makeup.

"Oh God," you breathe, "You're him."

"God?" he asks, "Eheh, no I'm definitely not him."

You force yourself to not roll your eyes.

"No," you say, taking a tentative step towards him, "You're Papa."

"Ah," he says, nodding with a nervous little smile, "Yes. I am...he."

There's something so different about the short, slender man who stands before you in comparison to his oversized stage presence. This man is softer, sweeter, and his demeanor immediately sets you at ease.

"I was at the Albuquerque ritual," you blurt out, "Last year's tour? I...you were wonderful. I hadn't heard the band before that night but afterwards I went home and spent all night listening to your music. It's...it's why I joined the Ministry."

"I'm honored, sorella," he murmurs, taking a small step towards you, "And now you're eh, stuck here doing graveyard mop duty."

Oh yeah. You have a job you should be doing. A job that you're neglecting in front of your boss.

"Shit, sorry, let me just--"

"No, no!" he interjects, reaching out to you as you start to stoop to pick up your mop. "We are having such a nice conversation. Will you sit with me?"

He gestures to the lone marble bench in the room and your heart skips a beat.

"O-Of course, Papa," you say, stepping over and slowly lowering yourself. He follows suit, groaning slightly as he sits. A comfortable silence passes between the two of you when he gestures up at one of the crypts.

"That's my dad," he says. You squint at the name inscribed on the marble.

"Papa Nihil," you murmur, "I love the songs he put out."

Papa's lips turn down in a frown and he looks at you askance.

"They're not that good," he mutters, crossing his arms.

"Not as good as 'Life Eternal'," you say, tangling your fingers in your lap, "Shit, that sounded like such ass-kissing, I am so sorry--"

Papa's frown morphs into a gentle smile, his mismatched eyes glittering in the low light.

"You liked Prequelle?"

"Liked it? It's...it's my favorite."

The way he puffs out his chest and looks ridiculously smug makes you giggle.

"I cried the first time I heard 'Life Eternal' - that night when I got home from the ritual? Must have been 3 am and I was sitting on my apartment balcony listening to the album from my shitty portable speaker. I think that was the moment I decided to come here."

"I...I am very pleased to hear that, sorella. How do you find the Ministry so far?"

Ah.

"I um..." you begin, chewing on your bottom lip, "It's..."

"I know exactly what you mean," Papa nods with a sigh.

"Don't get me wrong," you say hastily, "I don't regret my decision it's just...a lot like high school so far."

Papa snorts.

"It is. And if you don't know the right people or say the right things or fit in the way you should you end up-" he gestures at the cold room you both currently sit in "-here. On shitty graveyard shift surrounded by dead papas. A fate I do not think you deserve, sorella."

"You...you don't?"

"Nah," he confirms. He pauses a moment as if considering something and then turns to you.

"Are you eh, any good with computers? Paperwork?"

You laugh.

"I was a secretary in my uh...past life. Had to take it up after my art career flopped. Why do you ask?"

Papa raises a hand to smooth the skin on his upper lip as if he's used to hairs being present there.

"I've been meaning to hire an assistant," he says slowly and your heart stops, "Sister's been chewing my ass out about it. You interested?"

Interested? In working with directly with the man responsible for you changing your whole life? The man you spent an entire concert sighing over, your heart pounding in your chest?

"Papa, I would be honored," you murmur. He gives you a smile and makes a goofy little noise.

"Perfetto!" he says, clapping his hands and rising to his feet. You do the same, a ridiculous grin on your face.

"I'll eh, notify the right people. Ah shit, I don't even know your name."

You tell him and when he repeats it back to you you nearly faint at the sound of it coming out of his mouth. He smiles once more and turns to leave when you boldly reach out a hand and touch his arm.

"Papa...thank you. For everything. I mean it."

He waves a hand at you and even in the dim light of the mausoleum you can see his cheeks turn pink. The sight delights you.

"It's nothing. Buonanotte, sorella. And eh, fuck the mopping. Go to bed."

You laugh.

"If you say so. Good night, Papa."

He gives you one last smile and nod and leaves the crypt. And if your eyes are on the movement of his rear as he exits the room, you'll never tell.

[butterflydm]

The Queen of Attolia (plus some WoT comparisons)

Haha, it's been a few months but I got my chance to read the next book in the Queen's Thief series and it was so good! I am going to have two sections in this review -- my overall thoughts and then some specific thoughts that are mostly for @markantonys due to the series being her recommendation and I have a lot of thoughts about the comparisons between the Queen of Attolia x Eugenides and Mat Cauthon x Fortuona, because you can really do a point by point comparison, though I don't think it was intentional -- I think that Megan Whalen Turner and Robert Jordan were both going for the same idea but Turner was, imo, wildly more successful than Jordan at it.

But first, thoughts that don't particularly relate to The Wheel of Time:

We open with a tense cat and mouse chase between The Thief and the Queen's guardmen and that is really the heart of this book when it comes down to it -- a cat and mouse game between two extremely complicated people, and how they have to navigate in the world that they share.

Turner is really good at writing these fun action scenes where you're very much in the PoV of the character.

The (apparent) foundation that is laid here (that later gets overturned because Gen got to me again and he was once again acting on personal information that he kept from me for the majority of the book, lol, love him for it) - is very much beginning as enemies who have respect for each other's skills. At this point in the book, I knew that they would end up married due to spoilers and I know that it's considered a good romance, so I was really looking forward to seeing the journey, especially since I did get spoiled about the huge upcoming traumatic event.

But we start from this strong narrative place where they are aware of each other and have respect for each other but they belong to two separate counties that have some political tensions and they are both important parts of those countries and can't set that aside.

Because of how bold Gen is, Attolia has been backed into a corner by his actions and we actually see this affirmed by Gen's cousin (the Queen of Eddis) and her thoughts on the matter -- she is aware that Gen going into Attolia's country to spy on her is a dangerous thing for him to do.

And then the cutting off of his hand. This is brutal, and it feels brutal, and then we also get these hints of Attolia's reaction afterwards (that we get into more later) but especially her reaction when he begs her not to hurt him anymore and you can really see her feel the impact of what she did. She doesn't allow herself to show her remorse but even this early on, we're getting hints of it as readers.

Then when Gen goes home, we actually see that the Queen of Eddis also maintains a mask in public, just like Attolia does, so we see another hint here that Gen understands that kind of masking. Eddis looks just as cold and impenetrable to Attolia's guards who return Gen to her, as Attolia looks to everyone else.

I really appreciated how long the recovery time was after the loss of Gen's hand and how much time we spent with him to feel him get used to the changes (and how economically Turner is able to pass that time). We get these tiny looks at Attolia as well, and her difficultly sleeping at night, which we expand on later.

Then we get the return of the Magus from Sounis! It was really nice to see him again, dropping in to visit Gen, but he's also here to give us that continuation of the division between personal and political -- as a person who genuinely likes Gen, the Magus was upset about what Attolia did to him, but as the advisor to the king of Sounis, he knew that they would be able to use Eddis's reaction to Attolia's act on the political stage.

But what a way to learn that the two countries are at war!

It takes some time for Gen to really believe that Eddis went to war over him, and we see him processing that over the course of the book as well, and they talk about it more. I do think that Gen does not always realize how deeply other people care about him.

Turner really is so good at giving us these pieces of information that reframe the earlier story -- now we know that during all those snippets of Attolia that we had earlier, she was also dealing with realizing that her actions with Gen led to the war that she's currently embroiled in.

The progression of the war was really well done (again, Turner is very economical with her narrative here), with what details she chooses to focus in on, and we see that Gen, even though he has gained more of an ability to have that cold and impassive mask like Attolia has, still does things like make sure that no one is on the ships that he's destroying, because he doesn't like getting people killed.

Turner also does a really good job showing how destabilizing the war is to all three countries involved, and how the war is hurting everything.

We take a little mythology story break here in the narrative, which was a fun story about love and choice, both of which are very relevant. This story definitely does end up applying pretty heavily to Gen and Attolia in the themes, and I like the style that Turner tells these stories.

I love how perceptive Gen is once he's been apprised of the situation and we get to see the thought process that leads to him blaming the emperor's ambassador more for the loss of his hand than he does Attolia herself, because he sees that ambassador understood that seeing Gen maimed and returned to Eddis would be more like to spark a war than just killing him would, and a war is exactly what he needs in order to try to justify getting his troops onto Attolia's land. All the politics here are pretty complex but I feel like the book does a good job explaining the reasoning.

And this is also the point where it's really confirmed that Attolia knows that the ambassador is underestimating her, and that she also understands a lot of the things that he thinks that he's pulling over on her. But because of the fragile position that she's in, she needs to entertain the ambassador's advice and his attempts to sidle in on her country.

Quote about Gen: "It was like him that if he had to have a thing, to have the fanciest thing of its kind."

I really like all this about the cost of war; the price of war; and why this outside party has been trying to urge war on the three countries.

We also get Eddis admitting to Gen that she thinks that she could have possibly controlled herself and not started a war if he had only been killed, rather than treated in a way that she finds so insulting, and that it made her so angry that she made a choice that had now brought a lot of damage to their own country that she wishes could be avoided. And Gen can see, basically, that the ambassador of Medes is the one who put both Eddis and Attolia in this trap, and he was used as the tool to start this war.

We really move into Attolia's PoV and we get the story of the broken amphora (she thought about it when she saw Gen after she'd had his hand cut off) -- it was, essentially, the moment that marked when her life changed and she couldn't be a young girl anymore.

This really is a heartbreaking story -- how after her brothers died and she was the heir, her father essentially sold her off to be married, and her fiance was actively plotting against her father and how to suck her country dry for his own benefit after they were married. And how she kept herself quiet and small and just listened, but then poisoned him at their wedding feast, also having her captain of the guard kill the next man who tried to force her to marry him. We also see here that she only trusts loyalty that she can buy in gold (because every other kind of loyalty failed her).

Then we finally get the big reunion! This scene is so tense, with both Attolia and Gen wearing these cold masks (we later realize that Gen has pretty much directly modeled his mask on Attolia's) and we get this private negotiation that is only for the two of them. And this moment when it is literally just them, together on a boat, with no one else to interrupt them... just exquisitely done.

It's been implied before, but this is where we get our confirmation that Attolia has been just as haunted by Gen this entire book as he's been haunted by her. They've been separated for most of the book but constantly haunted by each other. I gotta share the quote:

"He was too young to have bones that ached. No matter what he thought of himself, he was hardly more than a boy. A boy without one hand. She reached up to push the wet hair out of her face, wondering when she had sunk so low that she had begun torturing boys. It was a question she had asked herself night after night, lying awake in her bed or sitting in a chair by the window watching the stars slowly move across the sky."

We've been seeing her do those things the entire book, but this is the first moment when we're told what she was thinking about in those moments.

We also get our Big Revelation here that Gen has had feelings for Attolia since before the events of The Thief! How does he hide these things from us so well! Gen! We learn here (and we get even more detail later) that he's been feeling drawn to her for literal years. That part of the reason that he made those trips that she thought were mockery was because he wanted to be close to her and get a look at her and see if she really was the monster that their spies reported that she was, or if she was just a woman who was being forced to make difficult, maybe impossible choices.

And then we get our story reversal where Attolia gets 'rescued' by the ambassador and his people, and we get to see how she behaves in these circumstances where she doesn't believe that she can trust Gen (sure, he said he loves her, but she cut his hand off! And he's a known liar! how can she trust him?) vs this dude that she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that she absolutely cannot trust.

The moment when she tells her handmaidens not to put on her golden bee earrings, I knew exactly what she'd done, especially when we got Gen's reaction. The writing doesn't have to tell us in the moment what's occurring (that she put on the earrings that he left for her one time and that she said she would only wear if she'd decided to marry him) for us to know, and I love that. This coded sign that only he will understand.

It's the most unique and fascinating marriage proposal I've ever read. Well done. Haha, and I did guess that the gray-haired man that he fought so well with was his father. <3

Love the moment when we see him process that marrying the Queen of Attolia is going to mean... that he'll be the King of Attolia. He just wanted to marry her because he liked her! <3 <3

And everything after that was just so delightful. Working together for the double-cross and then the process of Eddis and Attolia working out the treaty and Eddis trying to convince Gen that they can have the treaty without the marriage, and his rejection of that, and then essentially testing Attolia with that offer as well.

I also really like one of the moments when Attolia realizes that she can trust Gen, which is when Eddis tells her that of course Gen also lies to her. Constantly. And I feel like that reframed a lot of her interactions with Gen for Attolia. Realizing that Gen wasn't being maliciously deceitful towards her; he's just Like That With Everyone. Plus, I can't forget the moment when, after the battle is won, Attolia and Eddis return to where Gen is being held and Attolia believes for a moment that he's been poisoned as a parting shot by the Medes ambassador and we can literally watch as her heart completely shatters and she is completely undone and devastated in her head and even shaken where people can see her. It's beautifully written.

And we get the moment with the gods (who are very real in this series but very carefully choose how they interfere) and it's just as well done as it was in the first book. The windows in the palace shattering as the goddess responds to Gen's sacrifice! And basically laying out to him that his suffering was required to reach this ending and would he trade it back if he could -- if it meant that Attolia would have been forced to make that deal with the Medes ambassador. And Gen would rather have Attolia in his life and wanting to marry him than have his hand back.

Just that whole final section that leads up to the ending of the book, with Attolia really being able to believe Gen when he says that he loves her... it's so good. How the narrative (and Eddis and Gen) are able to tease out Attolia's feelings for Gen, and how we end on that final quiet moment between the two of them. Really powerful ending.

It's a really good book and it's a really good romance. Gen and Attolia are both fantastic characters and even with all the twists and turns and revelations, their relationship felt incredibly captivating and believable. I really believe that Gen wants to break through Attolia's walls and, just as important, I feel like there's a person on the other side of those walls who is worth being loyal to and loving. You understand why Gen wants to be Attolia's husband, even after she ordered his hand cut off, which is very impressive storytelling.

Hopefully I'll get the chance to read the The King of Attolia soonish, and not in, like, four months.

*

And now onto the Wheel of Time/Mat & Tuon comparison section of the review for @markantonys 💖

It really does feel like a point-by-point improvement on Mat & Tuon, though I suspected unintentionally (it looks like this book came out 3 years before CoT).

Starting with the characters: wow, Attolia really is so much the person that I would have wanted Tuon to be. And she feels like the person that Jordan wanted readers to believe that Tuon was. Every place where I was going through my WoT reread and going "footage not found!" about something the narrative tried to claim about Tuon is something where the footage is very much found for Attolia. While Tuon's potentially heartbreaking backstory really is just backstory and ends up have zero impact on her active storyline, Attolia's tragic backstory is the entire spine of what her character is going through and what Gen can help her with.

We get to see and really experience Attolia's context, which is not something that we got with Tuon. Jordan makes an attempt, I guess, with Karade's sob story about Tuon and the doll, but he made the bizarre choice to frame this story in Karade's PoV (Tuon's slave), not from Tuon's PoV. For whatever reason, Jordan always insisted on making Tuon the most insufferably smug person in the world in her own PoVs.

With Attolia, we get those breaks in her mask that I kept desperately wanting us to get with Tuon but we never did. Again, this is mostly only for the reader, not even for Gen -- the reader gets to see behind Attolia's mask. And so Attolia is captivating and fascinating and I understand why she felt like she had to do these horrible things.

With Attolia, we actually get her being removed from her power base and feeling helpless, which Jordan never had the guts to do with Tuon (when Mat kidnaps Tuon, he lets her take her slave along with her, and then some of his allies decide to support Tuon over him despite having zero narrative or character-based reason to do so), which means that when Attolia regains her power, it has a much bigger impact on the narrative, while it felt like Tuon never really lost hers. Attolia and Gen both manage to be scrappy underdogs, in their own way, and that's something that Tuon never was.

Both Attolia and Tuon commit horrific acts, but while we see Attolia's remorse and how it torments her, Tuon always seems to shrug off the horrible shit that she does. It doesn't ever affect her emotionally and she never seems to think past it after it's done. She is a character without remorse or reflection (I think she vaguely thinks that it's a shame one time when she's pondering how she will break Mat's spirit but that's about it). And Attolia has those two qualities in spades. Attolia feels like a real woman to me in a way that Tuon never did. We see the brave face that she puts on, we see her regret and remorse, we see her loneliness, we see her jealousy over the Queen of Eddis, who is able to trust the members of her court in a way that Attolia has never felt she could trust her own. Tuon just feels really shallow in comparison to Attolia.

Even in the first cat and mouse scene with Attolia and Gen in this book, you can see the push and pull and the narrative equality of the characters. Gen has been in and out of four different strongholds of hers, and she feels that he's pretty much taunting her with his abilities. There's a mutual respect for the other person which was one of the big things that was missing for me with Mat and Tuon. In her final PoV in KoD, we learn that she has not had an ounce of respect for him during this entire journey -- it's not until she sees how the Band respects him that she considers whether or not there may be more to him than just being a pretty and dumb sextoy. And the big problem with that is that was the period when the 'romance' was being developed. During the time when she didn't have any respect for him as a person. And that makes it very difficult to find their relationship compelling, even apart from the fact that I found Mat himself profoundly unlikable in CoT & KoD.

Now, Mat being a terrible person (in CoT & KoD) and Tuon being a terrible person (always and forever) are not things that would stop me from shipping them in general. I am capable of finding Awful4Awful pairings compelling (like Louis and Lestat from Interview with the Vampire). They don't have to be good people, but there has to be something in the relationship that grabs onto me at any level, and that's where Mat and Tuon failed.

We can see in Attolia's thoughts that she envies the relationship that Gen has with the Queen of Eddis -- she envies that loyalty and wishes she could have something like that of her own. That sort of envy was also missing from CoT & KoD (I am going to mention, briefly, that some of these elements were present in the Mat & Tuon relationship in AMoL but at that point, it was just too late for me to give a shit about their relationship, because CoT & KoD thoroughly killed any interest that I had in them). Whether because of his own personal kinks or because of the plans that Jordan had for the Outriggers, Jordan made Tuon too much of an island; too much of an wall. The way he wrote her made me feel like nothing Mat could do would ever really matter to her in any way; that she was content to use him up and then throw him out and that's just not my thing. It may have been Jordan's kink but it is not mine.

So I definitely understand @markantonys's point about this feeling like a well-written version of Mat and Tuon! It really does feel like this is the sort of relationship that Jordan wanted to write with Mat and Tuon but didn't have the skill at romance writing to pull off. Something like Mat and Tuon is Hard Mode Romance and Jordan wasn't even always good at Easy Mode Romance.

Two of the key elements that really makes Attolia and Gen work for me is just getting to sit and exist in Attolia's emotional reactions to the wrong that she has done to Gen; and Gen acknowledging and processing the harm that she'd done. And both of those things were desperately needed with Mat and Tuon, both as characters and as a romance.

A major major part of why Mat and Tuon failed for me is because I didn't feel like Mat was actually reacting to her realistically for the vast majority of their page time together; she threatens to invade a city and he laughs it off, she assaults his companions that he freed from slavery and he thinks it's hot?!?, she talks about how she likes to torture women and he ignores it.

If Tuon had cut off Mat's hand, the way that Attolia cut off Gen's, it feels like Jordan would have just had Mat shrug it off and then buy her a puppy as a reward or something as his response. Here, we get Gen begging Attolia "please don't hurt me again" after she cuts off his hand and then we have months of separation and recovery and processing before the narrative takes him anywhere near her again. And Attolia is forced to reckon with what she did, first by being haunted by the memories of him crying from the pain and loss, and then she has to face it directly by seeing his stump, seeing the pain that he's still in (because of her). She has to admit (not just to herself but to him) the damage that she did before they can move forward together. This is something that Tuon never shows herself capable of on any level. Tuon is never allowed to grow as a person the way that Attolia is, or to be vulnerable with the audience or with Mat.

I definitely still really felt the Mat-Gen comparison in this book too. Lots of places, but there's a great moment in the meadow with him, Eddis, and the Magus, where Eddis explains that Gen has deliberately made people believe that he can't fight but he also still gets miffed sometimes if people fall for his carefully constructed facade.

And the moment when Gen tells Eddis that he plans to steal the Queen of Attolia. It really feels, again, like this is the sort of vibe that Jordan wanted us to believe existed between Mat and Tuon: "She may be a fiend from hell to make me feel this way but even if I've got to hate myself for the rest of my life, this is what I want. I dream about her at night." This intense draw and this pull that he feels towards her. Jordan appears to want us to believe that Mat feels this kind of draw towards Tuon at the end of KoD but has not created any kind of foundation in Mat's characterization as to why.

We also got the long separation between Attolia and Gen where they are haunting each other with their absence. Attolia and Gen just get the time that is needed to develop this relationship in a way that's believable. Time in the story, not page time. This book is shorter than CoT & KoD, and probably shorter than if you made a "Mat and Tuon" novella out of their scenes in those books. It's the actual 'in world' time that matters, that gives Attolia and Gen time to think about each other and miss each other in a genuine way.

For another comparison -- Gen 'steals' Attolia to marry her like Mat kidnaps Tuon, but the context is so incredibly different on every level. Mat gets, essentially, tricked into kidnapping Tuon by the 'finn (it never would have happened if he hadn't heard that prophecy) while Gen acts with intention the whole way through. Technically, in both cases, Gen and Mat are 'saving' Attolia and Tuon by kidnapping them, but we feel the weight of it with Gen and Attolia in a way that we don't with Mat and Tuon. And a lot of that is because the bulk of Gen and Attolia's build-up happens before the kidnapping, during the times when they're separated and haunted by each other. So once the kidnapping happens, it's quick-paced and moves the plot forward rather than, you know, just fucking around with a circus for a month.

We also know that Attolia has complicated feelings about Gen already. I talked about this with @markantonys but that really is something that needed to happen with Tuon so much sooner than it does in the books (there are two big Mat & Tuon scenes in AMoL that desperately needed to happen back in CoT, imo -- Tuon trusting that Mat isn't trying to kill her; and Tuon going wild trying to protect Mat in the command tent).

Attolia and Gen also genuinely have things that they can each offer the other person, while with Mat and Tuon, none of the things that Tuon offers are things that Mat actually wants (slaves bowing to him; being dressed up like one of the Blood; being formal at all times - these are things that some of Mat's fans want for him, but not things he wants for himself) and she just feels like this ravenous black hole that constantly takes and takes and takes and gives back nothing of value. When Gen is startled at the realization that marrying the Queen of Attolia makes him the King and he'll have to actually be a king, it's this incredibly sweet moment, because it illustrates so clearly that he wants Attolia for herself and not her country. When Mat reacts against the idea that marrying Tuon makes him royalty, it just kinda makes him look dumb, because we've been given nothing of value in Tuon herself as a person, and no reason for Mat to care about her.

With Tuon, Mat talks about how she's better than other nobles, but nothing she actually does on the page is better than any other Seanchan noble. It's all 'footage not found'. By contrast, every single positive thing that Gen says about Attolia is backed up by the text and we even get shown additional positive qualities that no one needs to talk about because it's right there in the text.

With Tuon, it feels like Mat is attempting to gaslight me (and himself?) into believing that an interesting character exists there despite all the evidence against it, while Attolia simply is a compelling character based on what happens on the page.

That fact that there are so many raw similarities between the two pairings, but my reaction to them are so different really does illustrate the importance of execution, imo. Attolia and Gen's romance manages to travel so much further than Mat and Tuon's, while also being considerably more economical with how many pages it took to get us there.

The point-by-point comparison (aka WoT's failure of execution):

Tuon's interior life is poorly illustrated in comparison to Attolia's; because she starts off as an even worse person than Attolia but so much less character work is done on her than on Attolia, who is haunted this entire book by how she has "sunk so low as to torture boys" (on that note, Turner's choice to make Gen the younger and more openly vulnerable one really works here).

Seeing that Attolia's handmaidens are genuinely affectionate and protective of her at the end of this book is so incredibly touching, because she had no expectation of their loyalty (she believes in the loyalty of gold, and gold alone, for the most part). Tuon, otoh, has slaves that she expects to be subservient and loyal unto death, so her slaves' affection for her (that was trained into them) is something that completely fails to move me. This difference in the expectations of the character also makes a huge difference in how their PoVs come off -- Attolia's walls are due to her internal vulnerability and we get to see that vulnerability in her PoVs; while Tuon comes across as full of herself and incredibly arrogant, taking everyone around her for granted.

We're told that Tuon is smart and perceptive but rarely get any evidence; while Turner shows us Attolia's intelligence and how she sees a lot more than people like the Medes ambassador believe that she does. We get to see Attolia's intelligence in how she tricks the Medes ambassador into believing that she's so much less perceptive and intelligent than she truly is. This is another place where Jordan's unwillingness to ever place Tuon into a genuinely vulnerable position really hurt the character. Turner wasn't afraid to make Attolia the underdog and knew that it wouldn't undermine her as a character, it would strengthen her, because we would get to see who she was in adversity. The set-up of Crossroads of Twilight should have led to us seeing Tuon in adversity but Jordan was allergic to allowing her to be truly vulnerable, and gave her people to hide behind (Selucia & Setalle Anan) the entire time.

Mat as an agent of chaos is wildly downplayed in comparison to Gen as an agent of chaos. The Seanchan end up getting spared the chaos that the end of the Age brought to pretty much every other society, even though Mat seems clearly positioned to bring their society crashing down even as late as Winter's Heart. Gen's actions, otoh, are constantly throwing other people's plans off.

Mat does not behave realistically to the horrible things that Tuon says and does -- with Gen, even though we find out towards the last third of the book that he was already in love with Attolia before the book begins, we still get his raw reactions to her doing things that hurt him. He has nightmares after she orders his hand cut off, his pained begging of her not to hurt him again, and how he develops his own mask of impassiveness that is modeled on her own. Gen also never throws away his moral code in order to try to force himself to be at peace with the relationship -- he grows and changes as a character as a result of his trauma, but he stays himself at the core.

Something else that Jordan could have used more in the books that would have helped develop an understanding of why Mat believes that something exists beyond Tuon's 'cold Empress mask' would have been to make the comparison between Rand's mask and Tuon's mask more clear in the narrative. Because there's too much separation in time between Rand and Mat's interactions with Mat and Tuon's interactions. In this book, seeing that Eddis also needs to put up a queenly mask of not caring about Gen at first (in front of the Attolian guards when they return him to her after his hand has been cut off) helps illustrate why Attolia needs the mask that she uses -- Eddis doesn't trust the Attolians, but Attolia feels like she can trust absolutely no one, and so she always needs the mask and feels like she can never take it off. That's compelling! It could have been compelling in Tuon too, if it had been written better.

On that note: Turner personalizes the damage that Attolia's cold mask and her ruthless defense of herself/her country is doing by having her hurt Gen directly, and that being something that she struggles with over the course of the book. With WoT, Jordan basically did everything he could to hide away the damage that Tuon/the Seanchan were doing from Mat in order to try to justify why he could ~fall in love~ with her (was it intentional? to set their relationship up for a fall later in the Outriggers? we'll never know) without ever actually changing Tuon/the Seanchan for the better, which also meant giving Tuon no reason to have any internal struggles over the choices that she's made.

Gen and Attolia get another thing that Mat and Tuon desperately needed but that Jordan refused to give them: privacy. They negotiate getting married (after Gen has kidnapped Attolia in a much more narratively satisfying kidnapping than Mat and Tuon's!) in privacy, just between the two of them; when we get the conversation about their feelings at the end, again it happens in private. That makes a huge difference. Jordan being unwilling to ever actually yank Tuon away from her full power base and her slaves was a huge hindrance to ever allowing her to be vulnerable. And I do chalk this up to unwillingness and not failures due to plot set-up because there is no good reason to have Selucia tag along on the kidnapping and then it's even more bizarre in CoT & KoD, when the character of Setalle Anan goes from being fond of Mat to all of a sudden acting like he's the worst person in the world and she must protect poor helpless baby girl Tuon from him.

Both Attolia and Tuon get tricked by their respective love interests about who they are as a person because of the facade that they put up, but Attolia still has respect for Gen and his skills, even as she doubts his character, and it is Gen's own actions that show her who he really is and make her believe in him; while with Tuon and Mat, she spends over a month with him and still refuses to look past his surface until she literally has her face rubbed into it by seeing the Band's reactions to him. This difference is a key one in making Attolia's failure to see Gen as a failure due to the protective walls that she has up; while Tuon's failure comes across as her just not being very perceptive or intelligent. And the fact that we don't get the moment when Tuon begins to have even the faintest shred of respect for Mat until the end of Knife of Dreams just meant that I felt even more like all the pages time that Jordan spent on the two of them in CoT & KoD was a complete waste of my time.

We got to have genuine reactions from all of Gen's loved ones about the relationship! This is a huge place where, I guess, Sanderson is the one who failed for a change instead of Jordan because wtf was Perrin's "lol you married now bro? haha" reaction to Mat being married to a slaver? Though Jordan also does this to a certain extent with Thom, who we are supposed to believe is in love with Moiraine, and yet who never calls Mat out on courting a woman who would enslave and torture Moiraine if she had the chance. By contrast, Eddis is genuinely hesitant and worried because of everything they've heard about how cold Attolia is, and because she's the reason that Gen's hand was cut off.

We get to see Attolia and Gen develop a shared language and see behind each other's walls. The moment when she wears the earrings that he left for her, and he knows that it means she's chosen to marry him of her own free will is such a huge and impactful moment, and the only people who are aware of what it means are Attolia and Gen! This is really a failure that happens based on earlier failures of execution: because Mat and Tuon are never allowed to be alone together, it's impossible for them to develop this kind of shared coding and shared language.

12. We also have the 'footage not found' issue, where one of the characters (mostly Mat) tries to tell me something about Tuon but the narrative completely fails to back it up: this is the case with Tuon being intelligent and perceptive (in the narrative shown to us, she never picks up on anything until her nose is forcibly rubbed in it); and this is case with Mat thinking near the end of Knife of Dreams that Tuon belongs in the same 'better than other nobles' bucket as Talmanes when she has never shown herself to be willing to make better choices than other Seanchan nobles: he is still, at this point, worrying that she might enslave him and turn him into her cupbearer; she has not only threatened but actually assaulted his companions; whenever she's placed in a position of power over other people, she takes advantage of it and them. We're told that she's not a child but she also throws a tantrum (and pottery) at Mat at the start of Crossroads of Twilight. This could have worked if Jordan had leaned into the fact that Mat is deliberately lying to himself in order to make his marriage bearable, but that's where things like randomly having Setalle Anan go over to Tuon's side messes with that narrative.

13. When Jordan has Mat think about how Tuon dying would be a deep loss to him, it's just baffling because she has not done a single thing the entire 'courtship' that has shown why in the world Mat would feel that way. All of the attempts at reaching out during the courtship are Mat's, while Tuon just smugly accepts it as her due. Because Attolia doesn't just accept Gen's love as her due, because she actually doesn't believe him and challenges him on it, we get to hear his justification of it and why he feels that way, and then we also get to see her reciprocation. The relationship is a two-way street in The Queen of Attolia.

14. Which ties into the fact that Jordan chose to make Tuon not just a slaver but an enthusiastic slaver who enjoys the slave-breaking process and that is an incredibly dark place to start a character but it could have worked if it had been the beginning of Tuon's character arc and we'd actually watched her change and grow from that position. And she had the narrative set up for it! In her very first chapter, the reader learns that Tuon has the ability to learn to channel! She was created with the narrative juice to have a compelling arc about accepting the truth about herself and her people. And then Jordan gave that arc to Bethamin instead, lol.

15. In both of these stories 'fate' does kinda serve up Gen/Mat to Attolia/Tuon on a silver platter, but the execution of the storylines makes the reveal that fate was acting to push the two of them together so much more effective in The Queen of Attolia. Choice is a much larger consideration in Attolia and Gen's relationship than it is in Mat and Tuon's. There are elements of the higher powers of the world at work in both relationships, but Attolia and Gen have to put in the work themselves and have to face hard emotional truths in order to get us to the satisfying ending. I get the impression that Tuon wouldn't know an emotional truth if it spit in her eye. We actively see both Gen and Attolia consider and reject the idea of solving their main problem (about the war) without needing to get married; we see them choose their marriage and each other.

With Mat and Tuon, this is a lot more muddled. Fate/the Pattern/the 'finn want them to marry each other but we never get any kind of payoff as to why, and this is primarily because of Jordan's other storylines imo. He should not have had Rand already willing to make peace with the Seanchan in his separate storyline. Convincing Rand to be willing should have been Mat's job (because that also would mean that Mat would need to make the arguments to convince the readers). Jordan showing at the end of KoD that Rand is willing to make a deal with the Seanchan, even at the cost of giving in on the matter of slavery, basically completely voided any narrative reason for Mat and Tuon to get married, but without the satisfaction of seeing the two of them grow to a place where they would actively make that choice rather than being motivated by what they believe is necessary (due to prophecy).

There really were the bones of a potentially compelling story with Mat and Tuon, and I really do hope that the show (when we get there) is able to take those bones and turn it into a genuinely compelling story.

[flyingfortress1]

Finished episode two of Band of Brothers rewatch. - it's very long I'm sorry.

Damn, I love watching this now because I can actually focus on the show and not trying to keep track of everyone lol. Anyway. Thoughts

-firstly the jumping scene with the C-47s is intense! Bringing in my B-17 knowledge- flak is so terrifying and these poor paratroopers are getting a first hand idea of it, and not being able to do anything- just pray, hope, and then jump straight into that- like geez. That's what fucked up the bomber crews so bad mentally- like honestly, I don't blame the pilot for pressing the button early after his co-pilot just dies. And the scene where Meehan's plane blows up and you realize these guys were just ready to leave....

-other notes: fun time spotting all the notable characters. Toye crossing himself, Guarnere with rosary?? I think its him? Malarky trying to smoke, I think, but failing- you really just feel the chaos and tension, especially when everyone's being jolted around w/flak. Also Dick being right by the open door of a plane thousands of feet in the air gives me anxiety- like yes, he's supposed to be there, he's jumping out, there's flak, but damn, that is not safe.

-Also RIP Hall. Poor guy. I do find it funny that he's like, what the hell is Guarnere's problem- gets 1) gonoherrea but apparently it's only his nickname, and 2) Toye, Malarky etc just being, well yes he's being an asshole, but you gotta see, you gotta give it back, oh he just lost his brother you see- he's not really an asshole. And then Hall does give it back, and Guarnere is like, I respect you now.

-Also nice detail here- when they're at Brecourt Manor, and Joe punches that surrendered German soldier, you see that he has brass knuckles on- which means sometime between ranting about his gear and jumping off the plane, he got knuckles. There's a story there, I feel.

-Guarnere and Dick- interesting scene with the horse. Guarnere really comes off as a 'natural killer'. This is a mad man, and one who really, really wants to get revenge. It's a very intense scene, and yeah, I certainly understand why Dick was pissed- like yes, revenge, but also, thank you for potentially alerting us to every german soldier in the vicinity of which there are many. Also love the height comparison- Guarnere looks so much smaller than Dick (guess that's the actors, wonder if the real guys were similar heights) but it does make the scene funny in a way where Dick is chewing out him out.

-Dick scene with men in the truck bed- again, Dick is such a reserved, disciplined, controlled guy- and he's a petty ass, and Damian Lewis serves it with his chat to Guarnere in that truck. It's very subtle, but when Guarnere asks if Dick is their co now, Dick is like, yes, I am, look at that- and oh yes, I overheard you talking about me, just going to throw that in there. It does feel a little smug because Guarnere has to respect him now, and Dick isn't very obvious about it, but he is a little smug. Again, Lewis's performance is very good and very subtle which seems to fit what I have learned about the real Winters's personality.

-also Malarkey you fucking idiot- love that he admitted that this was the dumbest thing he ever did, and then tried to downplay with, oh everyone wants a luger- apparently the actor wasn't acting because the explosives were going off too early and dude was really freaked out lol.

-Also love the comparison between Buck (his eyes are so blue, like lazer beams I swear) hanging out with the men, and Dick, popping in real quick and then just going alone- it really shows their different leadership styles as officers- and shout out to Nix for checking on his bro! The way he throws away the can feels so personal tho haha. Also I really like how Dick has A Moment where you can just see him processing everything by himself- they were victorious, but the tone of the end of the episode doesn't really feel that way which is a really interesting choice and I'm kinda down with it.

-Nixon coming in with the tanks- I need a story here. There's one and I need to know.

-Spiers killing the prisoners is just a shocking moment to all the Easy guys- come over to the Pacific however and the Army/Marines have just stopped giving a fuck meanwhile. Like wounded IJA guys have grenades, I ain't risking that shit. Digging teeth out of not-quite dead guys? Yeah sure. I just find that funny for some reason- the weight placed on this, is mainly legit just European Theater stuff to my knowledge. Dunno why- just funny- also spiers was way more in this episode then I remembered.

-Malarkey talking to the Oregon Nazi- love how dude is like, I was answering the call of the fatherland or something ominous like that, and Malarkey legit is just like, Okay weird- MOVING ON WHAT FACTORY DID YOU WORK AT- SMALL WORLD WILD-

-Lastly- MVP TO THE TWO DUDES FROM THE 82ND! They come across these guys from the 81st, in very tense situation, behind enemy lines, unsure of where they are- and the officer just unzips his pants in the little battle huddle like wtf- I wish I could make gifs because these dude's expressions are hilarious. One dude is like wtf, and the other guy vacillates from shocked to what I can only call the equivalent of "I mean..." dude. why you smiling like that. why does the camera focus on Dick's fly. Why. you didn't need to do that. and why does he keep his flashlight there? I know there's a reason, I just want to know (is this why Smokey Gorden makes the compass dick joke) @bleedingcoffee42. And no one from Easy seems to care which is even funnier. Then these guys have to watch Guarnere being a bit unhinged- having drama with Dick- would love to know their thoughts on this, I need a fanfic featuring 82nd Rosencratz and Guildenstern. Also why is the sunrise after this event so cinematic- it feels a bit WW1 ish and also deserves a painting honestly.

Anyway. That's it I think. It's a very long rant, thank you for sticking to it if you made it this far. There's a lot in this episode. Would LOVE to hear other's thoughts on this episode! Any things i missed. And for those who can make gifs- PLEASE check out the 82nd guys and Dick's fly scene. It's too good. One of them gets named, but I don't remember who he was sadly.

[kctkmnikushimikmwu]

Sparring match with Konig!

Konig × fem!Reader

Tw: fight description, is there a tw for bruises? Guns I guess (I tried to flex with my knowledge but might've embarrassed myself instead lol).

— Scheiße, it's stuck... — your colonel sweared as he examined his rifle.

It was a quick mission: didn't even required a day. In and out, and you're back at the base, although your gear is still dirty. And a particularly small rock got stuck between some small parts of his rifle.

— Let me check.

You looked over the weapon, weighing it in your hands. The thing got stuck in the sling swivel, in particularl right above it, not letting it move. So, you took off your glove and swiftly removed it.

— Here. All done. — a sweet smile as you handed the rifle back to Konig. He stared at you through the mask, at your hands in particular. This rock looked bigger in comparison to your fingers.

— Danke schon, lieutenant. — he responded, looking over the rifle once again before putting it back on the table. You could feel him glancing at you as you reassembled your own weapon. And then you heard a smirk. — Why handling weapons when you could handle jewelry, Maus? Isn't it too dirty of a work?

Your eye twitched. He was agitating you, again. Trying his best to get to you, tease a reaction out of you.

— If you want a ring from me, you should've asked directly. — you smirked back, narrowing your eyes at him.

But all you could see is his mischievous look.

— I'm afraid I won't see you if you get on one knee. — as cheeky as ever. — Is that how you snuck up on those soldiers?

Your lips pressed in a line, annoyance building up despite the attempts to hide it with a smile.

— I thought you learned not to underestimate me after we worked together for so long.

— Tut mir leid, Schatzchen. — oh how satisfied he is at his success. — Still can't wrap my mind around how you manage to kill with those hands.

That's it.

Tactical kick of your leg hit his arm plate instead of the side of his helmet. The jackass has a quick reaction. And one hell of a gaze.

— Do I need to demonstrate it? — you asked, eyebrows furrowing.

— Not a bad idea.

So, you ended up in a training room. This was a long time coming: the man provoked you for a year after not being able to see your promotion.

He clearly wanted to spew something, preparing his sharp tongue, but you shut him up with first aims of your fists. Just inches away from his mask as he backed down, avoiding your attempts to sweep him off his feet too.

— Schnell, I'll give you that!

You haven't heard his barks, your leg flying at his side as he caught it, throwing it away. He thought he dropped you on the ground only for you to jump on your arms and kick him right in the stomach.

The wind kicked out of him, he backed down as you got up, wiping your nose and standing back into position.

— I feel bad beating up the elderly. — you replied with a straight face, resisting a chuckle. He laughed for you, however:

— Try walking in my shoes. Beating little girls isn't very nice either.

— Looks more like you're afraid of them.

You could see this cheeky smirk through his mask.

He tried tackling you to the ground, luckily you were quick to turn around and kick him away on impact. Unfortunately, he didn't fall: just jumped up and wrapped his arms around your torso, lifting you up. As you struggled, he chuckled again:

— I was just warming up..!

The back of your head landed just at his chin, a grunt falling from his lips. His hold haven't weakened, though. He threw you on the ground and fell near, pressing your head down to the ground before you could get up.

— Now that's a thick skull. Not bad.

With an annoyed growl you kicked him in the knee, buying a second as he recovered his balance. Turning around, the back of your military boot kissed his cheek in a very satisfying way. He grabbed your leg, sliding you closer, and that's when you caught his head, hitting it on the ground as your knees kept it in place.

— Still warming up, colonel? — you asked, chest rising with every inhale as you eyed him up from above.

As he looked up at you, you noticed the tear on his mask from your boot, exposing a corner of his smirk.

— Würde dich dehnen... — the last thing you heard as he got up, dropping you before him, his fist flying straight to your abdomen, and then a bit higher.

While attempting to recover your breath, you leaned on your arms, trying to kick him in the face once again, but he blocked every landing, and then even caught your leg, throwing it away like it's nothing. The next thing you know — he pins you down by the neck and leans to your face.

— Your demonstration is failing, lieutenant. — he teased, his fingers tightening around your throat. — Ready to give up?

Your hand answered for you, grabbing his face and pushing him aside, back to the ground. Once again, you got up, and this time just sat on his chest pinning his arms to his sides, landing one hit after another.

He threw you over his head after the fourth punch hit him in the nose. You were prepared, rolling forward and jumping up on your feet as he did the same.

— Ladies first, colonel.

He stopped, his breathing still heavy as he looked down at himself. After checking his hips, he smiled:

— Still giving way to you. Ripped pants zipper isn't a lady-like trait.

You tut because you knew that your cheeks flared up.

— Very appropriate.

He just leaned his head to the side:

— Am I a pretty lady at least?

You ran on him faster than you could think. Another round of your fist hitting his arms instead of his face before you sneaked your hand under his block and grabbed onto the mask. A nasty move rewarding you with your knee flying right at his nose.

Disoriented, he trailed back to the wall when you pinned him to it, grabbing him by the chin through the mask.

— Not with a bruise instead of makeup. — you conclude, leaning closer to his face. — Enough of a demonstration?

His breathing heavy, he eyed you up from this angle, stopping at your eyes.

— Do you have a husband by any chance? — his smile appeared from under the torn mask. — I'm considering the ring offer. If I'm not up to it before you are, that is.

You should be rewarded for your patience after working with this man.

"Würde dich dehnen" — wish I could warm you up/stretch you.

Thank you for reading<3

[icefox8155]

Ch 3: And the New Neighbors Are...!

Masterlist

｡⋆｡˚ ʚɞ ˚｡⋆｡

The passing week seemed to have blurred together, it was a repeat process of trying to familiarize yourself with the new surroundings, doing research about the world around you, and looking for a job. You’re able to write up a resume with some skills of your past and you really hope your future employer doesn’t look too closely or call any numbers listed. 

Whenever you’re home you find yourself looking out the window. Its definitely not because you don’t have a t.v, not at all… It is nice just watching people be people, at least till you see a group of people carrying equipment and most likely heading to a dungeon to complete. It still seems odd to you, being in this new world but there’s no use complaining when you have bills to pay… in two months that is. Finding a job is your priority right now, and trying to find a way home. But to do that you would have to immerse yourself into the Hunter’s Society, which you really didn’t want to do at the moment.

Then, as if the universe were playing a cruel joke on you, fate throws a wrench into your carefully constructed new life. There is a knock at the front door. It makes you pause, you definitely weren’t expecting anyone. The Landlord had already made an appearance when you moved in, so who could it be? The police? The Hunters Association?? Your heart sped up at the thought, did they somehow find out you’re not native to this universe? ALREADY!?

Your panic was interrupted by another knocking at the door, this time much louder than the first time. You stood in front of your door, ready to open the door and hopefully not confront people questioning your existence.

“Uh… who is it?” you call out hesitantly, hand on the doorknob

“Excuse me! I think we’re your neighbors!” a cheerful, high-pitched voice chirps from the other side.

For a moment, the word “neighbors” flutters in your mind, easing your panic just a bit. Of course it would be neighbors and not the government on the other side of your door! You open the door to reveal a young girl with brown, (no wait is it purple?) hair, couldn’t be no older than 15 or 16, practically glowing with energy as she hops on the balls of her feet. Behind her stands a slightly taller young man with messy black hair and an expression that teeters between nervousness and weariness, but still offers a small smile when meeting your gaze. They must be siblings, but why are they so familiar?

You force a welcoming smile, internally thanking your experience in customer service “Hello there.” you say, voice a tad strained from not using it much.

The girl beams, her eyes practically sparkling as she leans forward. “Hi there! I’m Sung Jin-ah! We live next door!” She gestures broadly toward the apartment across the hall, then points excitedly to the young man by her side. “This is my brother, Jinwoo.”

Your mind reels as the name echoes in your ears, Sung Jinwoo. For a split second, your brain short-circuits. You had literally just promised yourself to steer clear of the main plot, acknowledge the possibility of not returning home again, and were ready to live like a mouse hiding from the cat or a panther in this case. And yet here he is, standing right at your doorstep.

Before you , you manage to choke out, “Uh… nice to meet you. I’m, uh…Y/N er– L/N Y/N. Please, just call me Y/N.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Y/N!” Jin-ah exclaims brightly, completely oblivious of the internal panic buzzing inside of you. “We just wanted to say hi and welcome you to the building. I saw you move in a few days ago, but didn’t want to bother you right away.”

Jinwoo’s voice is meeker in comparison, not quite shy but more of being tired. “That’s right,” he side-eyed Jin-ah, probably having stopped her from immediately trying to welcome the new neighbor. “But, we thought we’d give you some time to settle in first.” Jin-ah’s smile turned sheepish but then returned in full power. This makes your own smile turn softer before remembering who's in front of you. Sung Jinwoo, pre-shadow monarch… This can’t be good can it?

Jin-ah’s bright voice cuts through your thoughts. “So, how do you like the apartment? It’s not super fancy, but it’s nice, right?”

You force a laugh, trying to sound casual. “Yes, it’s nice. A bit small, but it’s cozy.”

Her enthusiasm is contagious as she nods vigorously. “That’s good to hear! And, um, if you ever need anything, like help unpacking or a recommendation for food spots, just let us know! We’ve been here for a while, so we know all the best places.”

“Thank you, I really appreciate that,” you reply, your smile now more genuine, feeling more at ease than when the first knock appeared at your door. It’s unnerving to think that you’re now living next door to the main character and his little sister.

“Well, we don’t want to keep you,” Jinwoo says after a moment, glancing at his sister with a knowing look. “We just wanted to introduce ourselves.”

“Yeah! We’re right next door, so don’t be a stranger!” Jin-ah chirps, giving you a quick wave before rushing back to their own living space.

You nod, feeling a bit tired as you watch them leave. Once the door clicks shut behind them, you lean against it, trying to process the absurdity of the situation. A higher being is just throwing curve balls at you, is your suffering funny to them? Are you just a small jester to them in the grand scheme of things!?

You had planned to avoid the main characters, to stay as far away from the plot as possible. And now you were living right next to them. You groaned inwardly. How were you supposed to avoid getting involved if they were literally a door away? It's not like you could move either, not enough money.

For the next hour, you paced around my apartment, your brain running through all the potential implications. You knew what was coming. In just a little under a year, Jinwoo would enter that double dungeon, and it would change everything about him. But for now, he was still just an E-ranked hunter. He’s the weakest hunter in the world right now.

Could you really stay out of this? Just let him suffer through all of it alone, knowing what you knew? The hardships and grief that didn’t have to exist if you did something?

You slump down onto the couch, staring at the ceiling. Still, the thought of seeing Jinwoo suffer through those horrific experiences, would being a bystander really be the best choice. Maybe, just maybe, you could help in small ways. Nothing too major, nothing that would alter the course of events too drastically. But little things that might make his life easier before the real shit storm hit.

With that thought in mind, you decide that it wouldn’t hurt to know the new neighbors better. After all, you couldn’t avoid them forever, but maybe, just maybe, you could offer some small comfort to them before everything hit the fan. After all a little support can go a long way.

｡⋆｡˚ ʚɞ ˚｡⋆｡

The following day, a familiar knock at your front door breaks the rhythm of you scrubbing the floors. (they nasty ok!) You put the supplies down and head to the door. On the other side is Jin-ah with an ever vibrant smile.

“Hey Y/N! I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight?” she asked hands clasped together, “It’s nothing fancy, just a home-cooked meal. My brother is out doing a raid right now but he should be back by then.”

For a moment you considered turning down the invitation, but then you made the mistake of looking in her eyes… You know, you didn’t have any plans for dinner anyways.

“Sure, as long as its alright with your brother,” you reply in defeat.

Her face lights up even more, “Great! Come over sound six!” with that she practically skips back to her own place. You are left with some nervousness. This wasn’t just dinner with the sung siblings, it was also stepping into the world you didn’t get a chance to avoid. But it wouldn’t hurt to make some friends.

｡⋆｡˚ ʚɞ ˚｡⋆｡

That evening, you stand before the door, too late to run away now. You knock softly, deep down hoping no one answers but alas Jin-ah opens it, smile wide as she realizes its you.

“Come in!” she says opening up the door for you. The sung apartment is basically the opposite of yours. There are pictures along the wall, the furniture is cozy and just has a warmth to it your own apartment does not have.

Jinwoo walks into the room holding some plates and sets the table. He glances up and sees you,

“Hey,” he greets in a gentle voice.

“Hello,” you reply, settling into a seat and allowing yourself to relax. Soon, Jin-ah begins to fill The table with an array of comforting dishes: tangy kimchi, savory bulgogi, and a bowl of steaming soup that fills the room with its heartwarming fragrance. 

“I hope you like the food!” Jin-ah says cheerily, her eyes sparkling as she sits down next to you.

“It smells amazing,” you answer, your voice soft with gratitude.

Jin-ah beams, and she adds, “Most of it is store-bought, but my brother actually made the soup. He’s pretty good at cooking, believe it or not.”

Jinwoo offers a modest shrug, a small, self-deprecating smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I’ve had to learn. Jin-ah burns water,” he jokes, eliciting a playful protest from his sister as she attempts to whack him.

You laugh along with them, and in that moment, the weight of your aloneness seems a little lighter. Their easy banter and the warmth of their conversation eats away your loneliness. You feel full, not just with actual food but human interaction as well.

As the meal continues, Jin-ah asks about you and how you’re settling in. You offer vague answers about still figuring out your work and adjusting to your new surroundings. When you ask about them, Jin-ah explains that she’s still in school, while Jinwoo, though only an E-ranked hunter, fights day in and day out to support their little family. The conversation seems to halt not quite picking up since the food was about gone.

After dinner, as you help clear the table, Jin-ah turns to you with a bright grin. “You should come over more often! It’s so nice having someone to talk to, and I think Jinwoo really likes you.”

A warmth fills your chest at her words, and you manage a sincere, albeit modest, laugh. “I’ll keep that in mind,” you reply.

Jinwoo, drying a dish, gives his sister a teasing look. “Jin-ah, don’t say things like that,” he chides lightly, and she retaliates with a playful pout, before disappearing to her room.

You leave soon after, Jinwoo gives a short wave before focusing on his task once again. Ok so this wasn’t as horrible as you thought it would be.

[thedeviltohisangel]

FOR A FORTNIGHT THERE WE WERE:

What are Callum and Evelyn up to at this point in time? What does their life in Vancouver look like?

Let me know what recent happenings I should explore next…

Evelyn giddily smiled from the window of her plane as it taxied to the waiting SUV, a hooded figure emerging from the backseat.

It had only been a few days since they’d parted ways in London but her chest had ached every second. Nightly FaceTimes and incessant sharing of reels only went so far to close the gap between her and the man she loved.

The plane came to a stop and she was out of her seat, no care for her belongings, and at the doorway impatiently tapping her fingers against the hull.

“They’ll have the stairs connected in just a moment, Miss Shaw,” her flight attendant said calmly. Evelyn felt like she didn’t even need them. Felt like she could fly down to his arms with how high on excitement she was. Ever since the press tour had ended for Masters of the Air and they had transitioned to the beginning of an Emmy campaign, things felt so much lighter. They had made it through the occasion of showing the world exactly how and where and when they had fallen in love. Answered all the interview questions about how they knew it was becoming real and how they navigated the discovery. Had survived the gifs of them staring at each other and holding hands and whispering in the others ear. The TikTok edits of Callum opening her water bottle or playing footsie or her head resting on his shoulder between interviewers. Evelyn felt free of ever having to explain again why she had made the choices she had and felt free of ever having to justify their love for each other and free of trying to convince people that, even after two years, it was real and lasting and forever.

The flight attendant opened the door and she was down the stairs with a smile just as she realized he was working his way up them. Anything to get to each other even a moment quicker.

“My fucking baby,” he groaned as they met halfway, her arms squeezing tight around his neck and his arms lifting her by the small of her back. She buried her nose in the side of his neck and breathed him in deeply as he turned and carried her the rest of the way to the pavement. “How was the flight?”

“Boring without you to sneak into the back cabin with.” Every private flight they took together went by quickly when there was a private bedroom in the back for them to take advantage of. Whether it was fucking or love making or discussing their future, it was the way she preferred to fly and doing so alone completely paled in comparison.

“Where’s all your stuff?” he asked as she dropped onto her feet.

“Still up there. Would’ve taken to long to grab it and I wanted to be able to grab you as soon as possible.” She pinched at his butt for emphasis.

“Let me go help him.” Cal pecked the tip of her nose and went to offer his assistance to the men loading her larger suitcases into the back of the car, all her belongings that her team hadn’t brought when they’d arrived a week ago to get the rented townhouse to her standard before she landed, and the flight attendant carrying her duffle bag of personal items down the stairs that she had left behind.

“Thank you, Violet. You didn’t have to do that,” Evelyn said as she jogged to take the bag from her.

“It’s not a problem, Miss Shaw. Just happy we could fly you safely into the arms of Mr. Turner once more.” There was a teasing twinkle behind her eyes and Ev blushed. She got to keep the plane in the divorce and all the members of the team had expressed their excitement in the change of leadership. It was nice to have smiles and giggles back in the passenger seats.

Just as quickly as the bag was in her hand, Callum snatched it right out and carried it over to the trunk.

“Evvie, I love you more than anything, but the house is already half full with your clothes and shoes. How much more did you really need to bring?” She was only going to be in Vancouver in between press commitments for season 2 of House of the Dragon before she’d be back to pre production meetings for her new Star Wars film.

“I need exactly what I brought. Kelleigh and I have a lot of things planned while you guys are on set all day.” They had both been furiously texting for weeks about the cafes and shops and day trips they wanted to take together while they were in the same city with their men over the summer. Evelyn was looking forward to spending time with her friend almost as much as she was her boyfriend. “I can’t just sit at home playing with myself while I wait for you.”

“I mean, you could,” he shrugged as he opened the car door for her to slide into, “I wouldn’t mind coming home to that after a long day.”

“I haven’t had sex with you in almost a week. Trust me when I say you’ll still be coming home to plenty.” He smiled as he kissed her properly once they were tucked into the backseat and the car took off towards their temporary Canadian home. Cal was used to staying in hotels or small apartments but Evelyn had wanted something more substantial. A townhouse they could make into a home for the three months they were back and forth with each other. A little semblance of normalcy to host their friends for dinner and dance to a record player and all the new rooms that could spend their free time christening. It stirred something in his chest when she had presented him with options and called it a home away from home and asked him, almost sheepishly, if he was ok with her following him around like that. Though they had been each others for two years, it had been tumultuous until the divorce papers were signed and they were truly free of her ex husband. He had been dumbfounded she’d even asked before recovering quickly and affirming her with kisses that he literally could not have wanted anything more. “You’ve shaved recently,” she remarked as she stroked her fingers along his soft cheeks and jaw.

“Tried to keep the scruff for you as long as I could.” He puckered his lips and she obliged.

“Golo miss me?”

“Whines at the empty side of the bed every morning.” The pup couldn’t even bring himself to jump up and steal it. He knew it was reserved for his mother and would keep it that way until she appeared. Only then would he jump onto the bed to sneak between them. Her smile faltered slightly as her eyes dropped to where their fingers were tangling together in her lap.

“I took that test we were talking about the other day.” Cal assumed the outcome based on her demeanor alone. Assumed it as soon as she didn’t mention it off the plane. “It was negative. Just a scare.” He nodded and tangled their fingers tighter. While Evelyn had been scared, marriage and children so far away in her mind after her ordeal, she knew they were top of mind for him. Knew he’d had a ring with her name on it six months after their first date at a Chelsea pub.

“Not the right time anyways,” he mumbled into the top of her head as her cheek dropped to his chest. He hoped she couldn’t feel it racing. A part of him had thought this would be a good forcing mechanism towards taking the next step. Solidify that they were headed down the path of marriage and a family. A path she talked to him about when they were dreaming against pillows but never seemed to want to commit to any of the details of. She always told him one day. Had recently switched to one day soon. He was holding onto those four extra letters with an iron grip and the control to not ask her everyday if it was the day soon had arrived was grasped just as tightly.

“I love you,” she whispered as she looked up at him. “I missed you. Don’t like being away from you.”

“I love you, too,” he said with a kiss. “Got me forever, you know that.” Evelyn hummed with satisfaction as they kissed a few more times.

“That’s a long time to put up with me.” It was said with a smile but meant as a probe. Deep down she knew the second she had told Callum she’d missed her period that he had joy lit behind his eyes. Knew how he would never push her for the future they both wanted to come sooner but was growing impatient at feeling like she was holding herself back from truly being happy with him.

“I’m at my happiest when I’m putting up with you,” he teased back as he smoothed her hair back from her face. “I don’t know how many different ways to assure you that I want to do life with you, Ev. Every last breath of it.”

“I know that, I promise. And I’ve been working extra hard with Dr. Silva to try and get over this block in my mind about marriage-“ He smoothed his thumb along her cheekbone and kissed her forehead to ease her out of her spiral.

“Ring or no ring, piece of paper or not, you’ve got me forever. I want you to heal at the pace you need. Forget about me and whatever shit I spew when I’m drunk on loving you.” Did calling her his wife and calling himself her husband mean something to him? Yes. Was he fully aware that the terms had lost their significance to her? Also, yes. But he was also rational enough to know whatever version of her he had, he would be content with. Having even a sliver of her was worth more than anything. Anything.

“You’re my partner in life. That means give and take. I can’t just keep taking from you and not giving. If it’s important to you, it’s important to me.” His eyes flickered to the stranger at the wheel. He didn’t feel a fight brewing but the conversation was already too personal for his own comfort. For the protective streak in his heart that urged him to keep her safe.

“We’ll finish this at the house?” he asked with another kiss to her forehead. She nodded but sat up, no longer intertwined in his lap. Her gaze went out the window and she sighed as the city passed by.

“I wish my head was simpler,” she whispered after a few moments. He found her hand in the middle of the seat.

“I think you’re beautiful and crazy and I love you exactly as you are. Wouldn’t change a thing.”

“Not even my obsession with onion rings?” Cal pulled her closer with a laugh and she fell back into him with ease.

“No. Not even that.”

[electric-guillotines]

|| Tears of Empire || CH4 update! 5.1K

Rating: M Category: F/F Relationship: Wanda Maximoff x Original Female Character Things of Note: Lagos incident never happens, everyone is some flavour of queer, the inherent body horror of a healing factor, Steve and Nat being bros, Wanda being confidently gay while OC is a flustered dork, cool lightning powers

=====AO3 LINK=====

This is a crossover between the MCU and inFamous but YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW ANYTHING about inFamous. All you do need to know is that I started this with the sole purpose of giving Wanda a girlfriend with lightning powers.

=====Preview=====

“What about you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah. Was it just as scary and weird for you or have you always had these powers?”

The smooth concrete leaching heat from her body, the smell of disinfectant and blood, the theme from The Brady Bunch echoed through her head, disjointed.

It wasn’t the easiest question to answer, though Wanda knew she didn’t need to give Kassidy all the details to do so. Certainly not the terrorist organisation or the burning vision of herself.

No.

No, none of that, only what would be helpful.

The smell of low-tide grounded Wanda in the present, it wasn’t a familiar scent so she latched on and refocused, choosing her words carefully “In a manner of speaking, yes,” she said, keeping her eyes forward instead of watching Kassidy. “It wasn’t until much later in life that I was able to manifest them, however, and their emergence was… fraught.”

Kassidy spoke softly, “you don’t have to explain if its painful.”

Wanda glanced at her to find Kassidy looking at her with a gentle, slightly guilty expression. It reminded her of a puppy, and Kassidy’s thoughts were about as innocent as one, worried to have caused any distress with her curiosity. Even surviving all she had thus far, she was sweet–sincere.

Not unkindly, she waved off the look Kassidy was giving her and said, “I wouldn’t tell you if it was too much.”

Kassidy relaxed, and Wanda continued. “It was overwhelming, even terrifying, but time and practice render most things mundane, and that includes having powers. It’ll be second nature before you realise it.”

Taking a moment to digest that, Kassidy tilted her head. “Do you mind explaining what you can do?” 

Wanda looked at her with a brow raised and Kassidy made somewhat familiar motions with her hands. “Like, specifically,” she said. “Any time I’ve seen the news or footage it seems like you can do a lot but it isn’t like the general public gets an annotated list of what everyone can actually do.”

The sight of Kassidy trying to mimic her almost made her crack and Wanda stifled the laugh, barely reducing it to a smirk. “First of all, terrible impression.”

Kassidy quickly put her hands away, looking appropriately sheepish. 

The comparison to a puppy ran through her head again and Wanda’s smirk grew. “Second of all, it seems like a lot because it is a lot. Let’s just call it psionics for simplicity, telekinesis, energy projection, telepathy, that sort of thing.”

Kassidy nodded in thanks.

Then a metaphorical plate fell in her mind. “Telepathy?” she repeated, a little high, “like… mind-reading?”

Wanda answered her plainly. “Yes.”

Kassidy’s mind raced like a jet engine for a good few seconds and came to an abrupt stop just as quickly. She then sighed, nodding in confirmation more to herself than anything. “That’s why you guys have been so nice with me.”

There was no anger at the revelation, just acceptance, even a bit of relief that someone believed her innocence as more than just a legal concept to be upheld.

Another second and a spike of fear hit.

‘Oh, fuck me.’

Kassidy wrung her hands, shoulders hunching. “I’m really sorry if my thoughts have been too loud.”

‘Oh, god, does that mean she heard me earlier?'

[Continue Reading on AO3]

[hopefulromances]

Long Time Coming I Chapter Five I The Archer

Summary: Being hired as the first female assistant coach in the league was a challenge of it itself. Being a football protigy and University Football Legend was easy enough. Coaching Jamie Tartt was a challenge all on its own.

Word Count: 3k

Warning: Jamie's Dad :-(, I have literally no clue how football works.

A/N: I felt like posting again. Thanks for all the comments and reblogs and such! I literally read all of them, they make my day :-)

Prologue One Two Three Four

Something was wrong with Ted. After Jamie’s miraculous goal, he was pretty much marked up for the rest of the game. While we scrambled to figure out a solution, Ted walked off the pitch without a word. It was thanks to Nate’s quick thinking that we were able to pull off a win. The boys were ecstatic and rightly so. A quarter final win was something to celebrate. I entered the locker room, once I had changed, giving out my congratulations.

            “Nice assists out there tonight, Colin.” I gave him a fist bump. “You’re doing great work.”

Colin gave me a big smile. “Thanks, (Y/N)! We’re going out for drinks! You should come!”

The boys around us shouted out in agreement. Patting my on the shoulder and tugging on my arm, beginning for me to join them. Normally, it would be a quick yes. I loved going out with the lads. They were always guaranteed to give me a good time. But tonight, I was hesitant. Getting drunk when I had just discovered my feelings for Jamie seemed like a bad idea.

            “I don’t think I can tonight, lads.” I was met with cries out outrage. “I know! I know! But please, go out and have a drink for me tonight!”

They said their goodbyes and made their way out of the locker, leaving me by myself. I shot a quick text to Keely, telling her I needed some serious girl talk.

            “(Y/N),” Jamie’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked up as he walked over to me, his ICON hat sitting loosely on his head. “It’s all in the dressing, yah? I mix a bit of apple cider vinegar with sugar water… but don’t tell Roy about the sugar water.”

            “Oh, I see! The sugar water is the special ingredient,” I mused, shoving my phone in my pocket.

He leaned against the doorframe, his hands lazily hanging off his fanny pack. He smiled down at me. “That’s the secret to my goals. Well, that and some great coaching.” He reached out and patted me on the shoulder. “That’s all you, love.” The nickname flowed off his tongue easily. I hoped he couldn’t see the way I was affected by it. I shoved my hands in my pockets, looking down to hide my blush. When I looked back up, his tongue was between his teeth as he laughed at me.

            “That was a great goal, Jamie,” I praised.

Surprisingly, he looked down, becoming bashful. “Yeah, well, I learned it from you.”

We smiled at each other for a few beats. I wondered if he was thinking about the way my eyes creased when I smiled the same way I was thinking about him. Or the way his eyes sparkled in amusement when he teased me. My phone dinged, breaking our silence.

As I looked down to see Keely’s response, Jamie pushed himself off the doorframe, clearing his throat. Keely was making her way to me as fast as she could!

            “Yeah, well, I should be leaving, the lad’s’ll be waitin’ for me.” He turned to leave but quickly turned back around. “You comin’?”

I shook my head. “Sorry, I’ve got to get some rest. But have a nice night.”

            “Alright, see you Monday?”

            “Yep, see you Monday!”

I was fucked.

…

The week leading up to the Man City game was almost unbearable. If I thought my nerves were bad before Tottenham. That was nothing in comparison to this. Between my discovery of my intense, distracting, horrible feelings for Jamie and my eternal fear of the press, I found myself unable to eat, sleep, or focus.

            “You just need to relax,” Keely emphasized, taking a drag from her cigarette as I paced back and forth. A while ago, Keely and Rebecca decided that smoking was okay if it was in the boot room. Since then, it had become our secret oasis for gossip and advice. “Whatever is going on in your head is going to kill you if you don’t.”

I wanted to tell Keely about my feelings for Jamie. I knew she didn’t care, and had even encouraged it, but for some reason something was holding me back.  “Keely, you don’t understand!”

            “Then help me to understand,” she insisted. She patted the space next to her, encouraging me to sit down. I slumped down and leaned my head back against the boots. I looked over at her and pursed my lips.

            “Okay… but you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

She squealed in excitement, shaking her hands. “Oh! Those are my favorite type of things!”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help the smile on my face. “Okay, I maybe… kinda… sorta… have like… the tiniest of… seriousromanticfeelingsforJamie.”

Despite me mumbling my words I saw the look of pure elation.

            “Sorry, what?” She tapped her ear. “Can you say that again, didn’t quite hear you.”

            “You heard me and I will not repeat!”

I could tell she wanted to press but then the door behind us opened and Ted walked in.

            “Oh! It’s you two!” Ted smiled at us before pointing at Keely. “I thought you quit smoking?”

            “What?” She said in faux surprise. “Oh! I have. This is just covering up the smell of the boots.”

            “It’s very effective,” I concurred, giving him a smile back.  

            “Then why you in here?”

I looked over at Keely, begging her to not say anything. Even if it wasn’t Jamie, it was my intense anxiety that I was feeling about the match. The intense fear I felt leaving my house every day that I would be the reason we lost. I knew Ted would want to help, give me whatever advice he could but I truly didn’t want anyone else to know.

            “I just needed some space,” Keely saved, turning her attention to Ted.

Then the door was opening, and Rebecca and Leslie were walking in. It was truly a party.

            “I knew you’d be in here,” Rebecca came and sat on the other side of Keely, reaching for the cigarette. “This is the room where Keely and I deicded that smoking doesn’t count.”

Keely squeaked out a protest, but it was too late. She looked up at Ted, a guilty expression on her face. I was grateful to have the attention off me. I let myself tune out of the conversation, having heard Keely’s complaints about a million times now. I chewed on my thumb as I thought about my situation. Though if I chewed much longer there wouldn’t be much thumb left.

Then, as if the universe was laughing at me, in the door walks Jamie Tartt himself.

            “Oi, Will, do you think you could take me name off me shirt and then put it back on but bigger?”

He looked up and saw the room, now crowded with people. His eyes scanned the room then landed on me. I gave him a small smile.

            “They’re talking about Roy,” Will said, his face almost covered by boxes.

Keely and I both shot him a glare. Not cool. Jamie shook his hand and put his leg up next to wear I was sitting. Was it bad that I wanted to lean against it?

            “Grumpy, old, twat,” Jamie muttered, joining in on the conversation. I felt Keely’s eyes burning into the back of my skull, but I refused to look. I also refused to look at Jamie. Pretty much I just stared straight ahead, not looking at anyone or anything.  God, if one more person walked into the room, I was gonna lose it.

The door opened and I hopped up, needing to leave the room immediately. My sudden movement caused everyone to look at me. Then I realized they weren’t looking at me, they were looking at the person entering the room. Roy.

            “You talking about me?” He asked. I nodded, surrounded by agreements around me. He shrugged before addressing Keely. “Ready to go?”

And they were off. Somehow, I ended up being one of the last people in the room. Of course, it was just me and Jamie.

            “You look tired,” he commented, addressing me finally.

            “Gee thanks,” I sighed, starting out of the room. He followed closely behind me.

            “Just saying.” He shrugged. “Need you in tip top shape for the game on Sunday. Isaac told me he’s gonna sprain his ankle on Friday.” Normally I would jump at the chance for a good banter with Jamie, but he was right, I was tired, and I couldn’t keep up. I must have taken a beat too long to respond because Jamie rolled his eyes and let out a loud dramatic groan. “You are no fun when you’re tired.”

            “You’re right, Jamie. I am fucking tired. I’m tried because every time I leave my house there’s another reporter there waiting for me to comment on the fact that I am somehow either single handedly saving the team or ruining it. Or how I’m sleeping with all of you at once, or whatever other bullshit they want to know.” I spun on my heel and faced him. “I’m tired because if we lose on Sunday, it’ll be my fault. I’m tired because every single day, I wake up and I’m actually so scared all the time that today will be the day that you all realize I’m ruining this club and kick me to the curb.”

I didn’t mean for it to all come out like that. I covered my mouth with my hand, surprised at my own candor. Jamie’s eyes were wide, his surprise matching my own.

            “I’m so sorry, I don’t know where that came from,” I admitted.

            “That was a lot,” He agreed, nodding his head. “Me dad’s been texting me.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. Jamie had told me a bit about his parents. His dad was a piece of shit. His words not mine. I remembered at the end of last season, overhearing his father berate him in the training room. He hadn’t done good enough.

            “Wants tickets to the game on Sunday.”

I nodded, still not quite sure how to respond. “Are you gonna get them for him?”

Jamie shrugged, half-heartedly. “Gotta, don’t I? If I don’t, he’ll be right mad. So.”

In that moment I understood what he was saying. It was a tough week. For all of us. But for Jamie and I especially, and we understood each other.

            “We’ll get through it, yeah?” I said.

            “Yeah, we will,” he agreed.

I couldn’t be faking it. He had to be having these feelings as well. Our eyes were matching shades of wanting. But it wasn’t a sexual wanting it was an emotional want. We wanted to be understood and here we have it. We understood each other.

            “Anyways, well, I have to go, Sam’s getting his hair cut by Isaac, team needs to be there,” he told me.

            “Right!” I blinked, finally tearing my face away from him. “Well, good luck! I’ll see you at here for the bus to the match!”

Man City was awful. The game was awful. The crowd was awful. Everything about the game went poorly. We wanted to win so badly but City was just too good. You could hear a pin drop in the locker room as the boys cleaned up after the match. I stood with Colin, helping him with a stretched bicep. Our one of our physios was out for the match and I was filling in where I could. Still though, it was silent. It was like a cloud had landed on top of us and we were moving, lethargically through the fog.

            “Uh, Mr. Tartt?” The silence was broken by a security guard entering the room. “You have a visitor. Says he’s your father?”

I glanced over at Jamie. His already dark face dampened even further but he stood up, motioning the security guard to let him in. Jamie’s father’s face poked in through the doorway.

            “Are ya decent?” He laughed, though he didn’t really say anything funny. “I told ya, dick.” Glared at the security guard as he walked into the room. I patted Colin’s arm, quietly instructing him to sit down. “Gentlemen, gentlemen! It’s a tought one, lads. It’s tough one, but no shame to it, ‘cause you know, we only every beat, uh, everybody we play!” Again, he laughed at his own humor. I crossed my arms, standing in front of the lads defensively. “You pups never had a chance” His gazed landed on me and I felt myself tense. “Now hang on! It’s the wonder queen herself! The savior of the sport!”

He approached me lowly. I kept my gaze on him but was careful not to let my expression change, despite the fear that was bubbling up in my stomach. Behind me, I felt Colin stand, careful not to come across threatening but there if he needed to be.

Mr. Tartt looked me up and down before giving and impressed look. “I see why they hired, yah!” I didn’t reaction, much to his disappointment. “Oh, c’mon! I’m just having a laugh. Tell me, what’s it like having all the lads to yourself, huh? You got a favorite to seduce or is more of a group situation-“

            “Dad”

Jamie’s voice pulled him away from me. “And there he is! My own flesh and blood.”

The second his gaze wasn’t on me, I stepped back, standing next to Colin who rested a hand on my shoulder. I was shaking. I didn’t even notice that until he rested his hand on me. I shot him a quick look of thanks before returning my attention to Jamie.

He was awful. Belittling his son in front of his teammates, after using him to get what he wanted. I balled my hands into fists, wanting to step in and get this man away from Jamie. The despondent look on Jamie’s face was heartbreaking. He just stood there and took it, never saying a word. That was until he asked Jamie to take him on the field.

            “I’d rather you not.” Jamie was stone cold in his response. His dad glanced around at the team, trying to maintain his cool.

            “Yeah, they just want a look around,” His dad pressed, throwing some fake punches. “It’ll only take a second.”

            “I’d rather ‘em not,” Jamie repeated, unmoving.

His dad took a step back, shifting his weight. “What? You’re not gonna all go little moody bitch just ‘cause you got your arse served to you on a plate, are ya?”

            “Don’t speak to me like that.”

            “Huh?”

            “Don’t speak to me like that.”

            “Okay, well, let’s see if you can hear this, hmm?” His dad got in real close to his face, speaking directly into his ear. “You know that ickle TV show you made? You made it easier for Manchester City to kick you to the curb. And now look where you are.” This time his laugh was more sinister, condescending as he spoke down on his son. “Twaddling about with a bunch of amateurs and their social justice warrior!” He shot a glare over at me.

Jamie refused to be goaded though and began to turn away from his father. In an instant, two things happened. Mr. Tartt yanked Jamie towards him and pushed him then Jamie’s fist flew into his father’s face. I jumped to attention, beginning to move forward but Colin’s hand reached out to pull me back.

Jamie’s father let out a groan on the floor, trying to cover up his pain with a laugh. “Oh, yeah? Okay.” He stood up and began to move towards Jamie. “You can have that one for free.”

Jamie flinched backwards as his father began to rush him. Luckily, Beard stepped into wrap his arms around Mr. Tartt. He dragged him out, kicking and screaming insults and threats at Jamie until he was out of the room. Then silence returned. No one quite knew how to react. I looked down and realized my hands were shaking and my chest was heaving. Then I touched my cheek and realized tears had escaped my eyes and were now rushing down my cheeks.

What truly broke me was the fear on Jamie’s face. He was afraid of his father. I wanted to rush forward and take Jamie into my arms. Tell him it was going to be okay. But I was afraid that if I did, that I would collapse. Luckily, Roy, as usual, was there to assist. He marched forward and wrapped Jamie up in his arms. Jamie stood; shell shocked, unsure of how to react at first. Then he slung his arms around Roy and let out a sob.

…

Somehow, I ended up outside, watching the lads filter onto the bus. I was still feeling the aftereffects of my fear from the locker room and didn’t notice that Jamie had approached me.

            “You okay, (Y/N)?”

I dragged my eyes up to meet his. His eyes were full of concern for me. FOR ME? I couldn’t help but let out a laugh. And then I kept laughing and laughing. Jamie looked at me like I was crazy and honestly, I was. Eventually, I was able to calm myself down enough to speak again.

            “You’re asking me if I’m okay?”

Jamie shook his head. “Yah? What’s so funny about that? My dad got in your face.”

            “Oh, Jamie.” My laughter died out as I realized how serious he was. “I’m okay. Your dad doesn’t scare me.”

            “Well, he scares me,” He admitted, shoving his hands his pockets.

I could feel my heart aching. Like actually physical aching for him. Finally, I let myself reach forward and pull him towards me, wrapping him in a hug. He responded quickly, wrapping his arms tightly around my shoulders, keeping me tight against his body. I rested my cheek on his shoulder, letting him hold me as tight as he needed to for as long as needed to.

Tag List: @optimisticsandwichgladiator @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @ajax-petropolus-wife @higherthanheroes @heletsmelovehim

[lakesparkles]

hai me again! I hope you don't mind me adding on, I'd understand if you choose not to respond, just wanted to give my thoughts-

I first want to say that I relate to the emotional overwhelm of such situations. I'm very sensitive, especially when it feels as if I've been hurtful :( I just recently I got an ask that condescendingly said I was being insensitive about some fandom things (they misunderstood my point so I clarified and it was okay) but I felt that same feeling of rejection. it's like guilt and embarrassment and makes you feel like everyone is mad at you, lol... it always takes me a few days of recovery to feel comfortable posting again

secondly, I want to say that I agree with all your points. I don't know anything about mouthwashing, but it sounds like other people are making their shallow interpretation of it your problem. opening a discussion, as you did, is not an invitation to be harassed or accused of terrible things. you didn't deserve that!

saying that evil/abusive characters can have good qualities, do good things, or be nice, is not at all excusing (or God, forbid, endorsing) their evil/abusive actions. it's actually a grounded and realistic opinion to have. the idea that all abusers are just evil monsters isn't true. in my experience, one of the most dangerous things about abusers is that they can be nice, normal, even good people. anyone is capable of abuse, even good people. even normal people. if you talk to any abuse victim about their abusers, they will say things like, "yes, they were terrible, but they were good sometimes, too, and that's what made it so hard to hate/leave them"

I have watched bojack horseman. bojack is an excellent example of a realistic abuser (if you don't mind me calling him that). because he is written to have good moments, and to have deep and complex feelings, and to be sympathetic, sometimes, too! the things he does to others I would still call abusive, but because he is so complex and multifaceted, people sympathize with him more. he's a very interesting character and, imo, the comparison between him and jimmy is justifiable (from what I know)

(sorry a lot of this is nonsense. tldr, I think you're right, and other people just have poor literacy skills)

salukes!

-🦊

Hello!!! As usual, you don't need to worry at all! I love reading your thoughts, you can always express your thoughts so well!

First things is that YES, this is exactly how it feels! :( I'm also very sensitive with negative opinions towards me. I'm aware this is something about myself that I need to change... But oh man, I wish I knew how to actually do it. I just can't, and not even therapy helped me a bit. I feel so guilty I convince myself everybody - including my friends and mutuals - will start hating me too... Part of me knows it's not true. Part of me knows that people should and will have criticism about my actions. But nothing of it makes this type of situation easier.

Thank you for thinking so, what I was hoping was that I would be able to listen to other people's opinion about both characters, which is a very interesting topic to me. I like to see how bad people are represented on games/shows/movies, even more when Bojack and Jimmy have such different character arcs and are both the protagonists.

And I do think that admitting that abusers can be good people sometimes is a truth most people don't want to admit. But, at the same time, it's something very important to talk about because the same happened to me! (Vent coming, sorry) When I decided to stop talking to my ex, I felt so guilty. Because she treated me in a terrible way but, at the same time, she had so many good moments. She was cool, funny and made me feel very comfortable. There are some conversations between us that I still remember clearly because she inspired me and changed my way to see everything.

But she was still terrible and she still hurt me in many ways, no matter what.

I also wish things were different, but they aren't.

And Bojack is such a good character to show this. I do believe he was abusive many times and being able to relate to him is what makes the show so painful to watch. The problem is that he's so much more complex than Jimmy that people forget how he traumatized many other characters. I think more people should read his crimes on the Villains Wiki to remember Bojack is not a good guy. But well

[oh-my-may]

hi hi hi!

Wanted to pop in rq to talk about recent game stuff again :)

I played Cyno's story quest! After noz liking his first one, I gotta say that with this second one they really stepped up the game and I'm glad about that. I feel like Sumeru kinda got thrown under the bus after giving us some of the most important in game lore when it comes to Khaenri'ah and Irminsul. I've seen lots of people talking about how they didn't like Sumeru as much, criticising the Archon Quest etc.... which I never understood. The desert expsnsions were vast and did get on my nerves a bit but since I love the exploration process it wasn't a huge problem for me. The AQ of Sumeru is my second favorite because you can really see the change in comparison to the other nations... even the story quests of characters were largely really good - Nahida, Tighnari, Alhaitham, Wanderer getting a whole Interlude Quest...

Just Cyno's fell kind of flat following the "old" pattern of the quest somehow completely shifting focus to some NPC and barely having significance to Cyno. THE SECOND QUEST HOWEVER. So good. It really falls in with other recent story quests (that I have all enjoyed): involvement of other playable characters that we as pöayers care about, interaction between beloved characters, spinning in some big lore that ties to the characters and thid time IT ACTUALLY IS ABOUT CYNO. HIS BACKSTORY. HIS ORIGIN. YESSSSS.

I think people should experience the quest for themselves so I don't want to talk abput the plot too much but just... so many Sumeru characters made an appearance and it was so nice to see them again :(( i miss them. It was about time we visited Sumeru again, there has been a suspicious lack of Sumeru content throughout the Fontaine patches, whereas other nations got bigger events etc...

SETHOS MY BELOVED. I can NOT wait for his release. And the fact he's gonna be on Clorinde's banner <333 my collection of electro characters continues. Really like his character design (especially his hair omg???) and generally think it's so interesting of hyv to introduce this story... him and Cyno being two parts of one whole thing but growing up so differently... yet somehow understanding each other when they meet face to face... HIS EYES ARE SO CRAZY TOO LIKE??? HUUUUH???

The cutscene of their fight be my favorite now (not counting Archon or Harbinger fights). IT WAS SO LONG??? EPIC?? The way they were so similar with using the power?? The parallels? Insane.

So yeah... I really enjoyed it. Hopefully Sethos gets a Hangout event soon. I'll definitely build him when he comes out. However I wasn't able to watch the 4.7 livestream (yet) because of my horrendous work times yesterday... gonna do it this evening after work I think. Definitely excited to finally get Clorinde tho <33 depending on how nice she is to me I might try snd get her weapon too ... but I at least have enough pulls atm to get her no matter what (and hopefully some Sethos too...)

So far so good! I actually took some screenshots during the story check it out!

[hannahssimblr]

The sunlight dapples over the grass beneath the linden tree, and I lie there with Clóda and watch clouds drift through blue gaps in the foliage. The air is fragrant with the scent of the clusters of blooms overhead and there is barely a sound, so far we are no from roads and traffic that only the cows in the adjacent field create any noise, and the rustling of the breeze through grass and the hedgerows, the chirping of the birds. 

“This is nice,” Clóda sighs with her head cushioned by the grass, “It's peaceful.”

“Yeah I like coming here.”

“It’s so perfect. How did you know about this spot?”

“Well, I guess I just cycle around a lot in my free time and explore.”

“On your own?”

“Of course.”

She considers this, “But isn’t it boring?”

I smile, “No, never. I’m the best fun to be around.”

She reaches over and punches me lightly in the bicep, “God, you’re so full of yourself, did you know that?”

“Do you mind it?”

“A bit, but you’re good looking so you get away with it.”

I glance down at her, the dappled light creating interesting patterns on her skin, “Hm, I’m good looking, am I?”

“Obviously. For God’s sake, you’re the hottest boy on the beach and you already know it. I’ve told you before.”

“Yeah I just wanted to hear you saying it again.”

She bursts out laughing and shakes her head. “Oh my God, like.”

“What?” I’m grinning now, trying to catch her eye as she tilts her face away from me, “Do you hate that about me? Do you hate that I know it?”

“You know most boys wouldn’t get away with being like this.”

“But I do?”

“Mm.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes! God. You could probably do anything at all and every girl in the village would still fancy you, do you know that?”

Mhm,” I thread my hand into her silky blonde hair and kiss the corner of her mouth. She sighs, a fluttery feminine sigh that turns the insides of me to jelly. She softens as I push her gently onto the ground beneath me and kiss her slowly and deeply with my hand on the patch of sun-warmed skin between the hem of her vest and waistband of her shorts. As I slip my tongue into her mouth I gently stroke the taut skin of her ribs with my thumb, then, once I’m sure I’m in the clear, I slide my hand all the way under her top and hold her boob. It’s above the bra, but it’s fine, it’s enough to make me want to punch the air even though I will obviously not be doing that while she is still underneath me. 

She sighs again, this gorgeous, involuntary sound and puts her hand over mine as if to show me that she doesn’t want me to stop touching her, but I stop anyway, I pull back and roll onto my back to cool off because I am only human and my tennis shorts are made of the most unforgiving type of nylon available. 

“Other boys aren’t like you,” she says in wonderment, and I glance at her again, her mouth wet from mine, “I think I’ve just realised that every kiss I’ve had up until now has been awful.”

“Were they?”

“Irish boys are terrible kissers.”

“Well, I wouldn't know anything about that.”

“Have you kissed a lot of girls?”

I laugh awkwardly. How I hate questions like this, questions about what I’ve done or what I haven’t done and who I’ve done it with, as though it’s anything less than a way to be judged, or make the asker feel insecure about their own experiences, when really, I wish more than anything to just kiss a girl or touch her without the presence of other girls in her head. a comparison to those who have come before like those kisses of the past still cling to my aura like spirits when really, they’re banished already. I rarely think of them anymore, and I wish Clóda wouldn't either.

“No,” I lie, because the real answer is that I’ve lost count and I wouldn’t be able to tell her even if I wanted to, “Not many at all.”

“What about other things? Have you, you know…” 

I leap up to hold her wrists and pin her gently to the ground again, “What about you, huh? Miss ‘I’ve done almost everything’? Why don’t you tell me?”

“I have!” She says defensively, “I just… don’t like to talk about it.”

“So why should I?”

“Because you’re a boy, you’re supposed to be proud.”

“But not girls?”

“No, come on, you know it’s different.”

I bend to kiss her jaw, “I guess.”

“I don’t want to be some… slut.”

“You aren’t.”

“I know you might be used to that, you know, all those girls in Dublin, you know we’ve all heard stories about the things that happen in mixed schools, what everyone gets up to.”

“Girls in mixed schools in Dublin aren’t sluts either.”

“Well I have a cousin up there and she says that a girl in fifth year got pregnant last year.” I don’t really like the way that Clóda’s eyes are gleaming with delight over this piece of odious gossip. “Can you imagine? I heard she was getting off with loads of different lads…”

I let her go and sit up on my own, “Well, that’s sad for her.”

Clóda hesitates. “Yeah but she obviously brought it upon herself, like you don’t just get pregnant at seventeen without being-”

“I think it’d happen less if there was basic sex education and access to contraceptives,” this is Jen talking, not me. She’s chewed my ear off enough times about this stuff. Jen, who won’t tolerate a bad word said about a fellow girl, Jen, who understands the parts of the system that are broken so much better than I do, and I’m surprised to find myself rattling it off like this, because it means that somewhere along the way I must have really listened to what she was saying. And believed in it.

“Well, I was just saying,” Clóda pivots, “It was just a story I heard is all. I hope that she’ll be alright.”

“Yeah same, I hope she has support.”

“Totally. I think it’d be so hard to have a baby and all when you’re still at school, God, I can’t even imagine.”

Our conversation lapses into silence, and I shut my eyes and listen to the birds singing and the bubbling of a stream not far from here. I’ve been swimming there before. The water is clean and beautiful, but I don’t feel like taking Clóda there today. 

Next to me she is moving around, unzipping and rummaging through her bag. A moment later she shakes me, “Are you sleeping?”

“No, I was resting.”

“Can I take a photo of you?” 

I peel my eyes open and she is wielding a metallic pink digital camera, “of me?”

“Of us, together.”

“If you want.”

“Just because I feel like this is a nice moment,” I agree, and she nestles down next to me in the grass and holds the camera at arm's length, taking about a dozen photos of us in as many poses as she can orchestrate.

“Now kiss me,” she says finally, and it feels a bit embarrassing but I do it anyway because I’m not bothered to argue. Then she lies there and scrolls through all of the photos and talks about which are her favourites, and it is as I am squinting at the little screen that I hear footsteps through the grass. I look up, and someone is hiking through the field in our direction. 

“Oh God,” I mutter.

Liam from the Surf Shack is here, for some completely perplexing reason. “What’s up, Turner?” He says with that big Goofy The Dog grin that he has.

I struggle onto my elbows, “just Jude is alright, thanks.”

“I can’t call you Turner?” “No, sorry.”

He comes to a stop right nearby, looming over us with his hands in his worn out cargo shorts, his blonde curls sticking up in every direction, “Hi Clóda,” He says, and she doesn’t answer him. 

I shield my eyes from the sun and peer at him from under my hand, “Um, what are you doing here?”

“I live up there,” he gestures vaguely across the fields, “this is my shortcut usually, whenever my dad is working late and he can’t drive me home, I like to walk.”

“It’s a long walk from the beach.”

“Not really! And I love to stretch the auld legs, sure you know yourself.”

I don’t know why he talks like that; like a man of seventy eight in the back of a country pub but I’ve always kind of felt like Liam is both impossibly old and impossibly young all at the same time. I feel guilty for being awkward, actually, but everything about being around Liam makes me feel this exact combination of guilt and discomfort, especially since he’s oblivious of the fact that he is in fact not good friends with all of the teenagers on the beach, and nobody is man enough to tell him as much, so we all just go on living this charade. 

“Yeah,” I say, “I know what you mean. It’s nice to get out and walk sometimes.”

“I’m back later though,” He goes on, “I’m just going home now to have a shower and whatnot, see I was out on the waves all day with the surfboard, you know? Good waves today, big waves. I’m heading back in later then for the bingo night at the pub. That’s at eight if you two wanted to come.”

I hesitate, “Bingo? Well-”

“Grand prizes and all. I think there’s a voucher for the butcher in there anyway, some local strawberry jam, lovely, and I think a handbag for the ladies,” He grins at Clóda as though he believes somehow that this applies to her specifically, but she is refusing to look at him. 

“Yeah man, we’ll come if we can.”

“Ah, great stuff,” He rocks back and forth on his heels during the following awkward pause, “I like your new haircut,” he says. “Real cool.”

“Do you? I just did it because I was bored.”

“You think I should cut my hair? Might be handy for the summer, for keeping me head cool and all that.”

“If you want to, I guess.” 

“Yeah! Yeah maybe. We’ll see now. You never know, when you come to bingo this evening you might see me with a matching ‘do!” He winks.

God, this is excruciating. “Totally. Well, I guess we might see you there. Maybe not but, um, who knows.”

“Well, if I see ya I’ll save you a seat at my table.”

“Thanks, Liam.”

“Enjoy, now!” He says, and I don’t really know what he means by that, whether he means that Clóda and I should enjoy each other or the scenery or a third, hidden option, but it doesn’t matter because he is finally leaving, marching across the fields toward home. 

“Oh my God,” Clóda says acidly once he’s out of earshot. “I didn’t know that he knew you.”

“Yeah Liam’s been here forever, I see him every summer, he’s, um, hard to miss.”

“He’s in the boys' school up the road from ours and he’s the worst. We all hate him.”

This sours my guts, “Okay, well, he’s not that bad. He’s just a bit innocent, I think he means well.”

“No, oh my god. He fancied my friend for ages and we were all freaked out. He bought her flowers.” She says this as though buying flowers is the equivalent of doing a shit in her coat pocket, but I suppose that I kind of know what she’s trying to say. 

“Yeah it’s a bit uncomfortable when you get a gift from someone you don’t like.”

“Yeah, especially him. Like, if it was you or something it’d be different, obviously.”

“Would it, yeah.” I say flatly.

“Yeah I mean obviously because you’re fine and you have friends, he’s just…” She doesn’t even have words for what he is, just a disgusted expression like she’s discovered a slug in her flip flop.

“Okay well, I guess I don’t know what it’s like to be a girl who Liam fancies, so I can’t really give any input,” I try to push feelings of incredible shame and disappointment to the side, because maybe what she’s saying is fair. I really don’t know what it’s like to be a teen girl, or how it feels to find Liam waiting outside my school with a bouquet of flowers. Who am I to question the things that she’s saying or how it feels to be in that situation?

“Anyway, let’s take more photos,” she says, brushing the whole thing off as Liam distantly hops a fence and disappears into the trees. I concede, and she hooks her arm around my neck to pull me back onto the soft grass with her. 

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