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jasntodds · 1 year ago

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Petrichor [3]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 15,168

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, smut, oral (m receiving), a smidge of angst, violence, blood, description of bruises, mentions of scars, titans isn’t descriptive about Jason’s dad so I’m pulling from Arkham Knight verse because I can, mentions of abuse (Arkham knight!canon),mentions of previous homelessness, mentions of being tortured and held captive

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: Hey, look we’re getting somewhere lol There’s so much in this chapter that comes up later so I hope you guys like it!! If you want context from book 1, let me know and I’ll tell you!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

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A couple of days later, Bruce informs Jason and you he has a Justice League thing so he’ll be out of town for the next few days. He mostly just asks you both not to get into trouble while he’s gone. No joyrides in the Batmobile and no riding motorcycles in the Manor. Jason has a smirk while Bruce said it, as if he does all of it on purpose. But, you both agree to be on your best behavior while he’s gone. And this first day, you are.

For most of the day, you hang around the manor together. You have a few training sessions, you not getting so lucky this time but it’s training. And you help Jason make a pasta dish for dinner. The day itself is pretty casual with nothing really happening but the two of you actually feel really comfortable. Bruce leaves you both alone for the most part but he’s not here at all and it’s kind of nice having the manor to yourselves.

“So, he just leaves you here alone when he has a thing?” You ask, plopping down next to Jason on the couch, practically sitting on top of him.

Jason snaps his attention away from his book to look at you with furrowed brows. “Yeah,” Jason scoffs. “Whole place to myself.” He stretches out one of his arms, as if to be claiming the manor.

“Sounds boring.” You state, leaning your head back.

The manor is already big. It already can feel a little less than homey. It’s too big for even three people to be living here. Boring wasn’t quite the right word, but saying lonely seemed a bit much. But, that’s what you think. It would be lonely being here alone. The tower felt empty even and you had Gar and Krypto, then Conner when he woke up. It just seems a little sad to you.

“Well, you’re here, can’t be too bored now.” The corner of Jason’s mouth perks into a grin.

“You’re right, I’m very entertaining.” You let out a laugh as the sarcasm hangs from your words and you pick your head up.

Jason furrows his brows and he’s not letting you have that one. He gives you a shove, not too hard but enough to make you fall to the side.

“Hey!” Your laugh reverberates against the walls and the warmest smile comes to Jason’s face. “That’s my thing.”

“No, that was entertaining.” Jason laughs.

“Asshole.” You groan and instead of getting up, you lay on your back and swing your legs over him.

“Fuck you.” Jason chuckles and you have this grin that makes his stomach spin. “Hey,” Jason swings his arm over the back of the couch, turning to face you, careful to keep your legs on him.

“Hey.” You mock him and he’s got that look. You know he’s about to have a bad idea that you will absolutely go along with.

“Wanna do something tonight?” The right side of his mouth tugs up and he wiggles his brows at you.

“There is something mildly unsettling about you asking me that.” You blink up at him and Jason gives you a devious smirk. “What exactly were you thinking?”

“Wanna do a bust? There’s a group of dealers near Crime Alley, could take ‘em down.”

“Mmh,” You sit up, getting closer to his face. “And why exactly would we do that now when Bruce isn’t here?”

Jason shrugs, tilting his head to the right slightly. “Could be fun.”

“Oh, for fun?” You mock him. “Because hanging out here with me isn’t fun enough?”

Jason glances between your eyes and lips, landing on your eyes again. “You could spice it up a bit.”

“Oh, I could?” You let out a booming laugh, leaning back slightly. “Do tell, Jay.” You close more the distance between you this time.

Jason feels his cheeks start to warm. “Got the whole Manor to ourselves.” Jason avoids the question, letting you imagine whatever you want.

You smirk at him. “That’s forward.” You let out a laugh.

“I didn’t say shit. I’m just saying, whatever you’re thinking is all you, babe.”

“Okay, so right here on the couch? Right now?” You quip and Jason’s heart completely stops in his chest, eyes bugging out of his head.

“I’m not sure how, but that’s a fucking trap.” Jason states and he wishes it wasn’t.

“Maybe.” You chuckle softly. It’s not a trap. “When did you wanna go, Batboy?” Your eyes widen and of course you aren’t going to turn this down. You aren’t ready to get out there fully yet but this is just you and Jason. It will likely be fun as long as this goes better than Deathstroke.

Jason smirks down at you. “Get ready now?”

You roll your eyes. “Patience is a virtue, Jay.”

“So is kicking ass, Babe.”

You let out a sigh and lean back, swinging your legs off of him. “Fine. Taking the bike?”

“Hell yeah.” Jason states watching as you get up. “You should be able to get your license soon. You’re doing pretty good.”

“Well, if we’re going to be doing this shit together, it’s a lot more efficient to take one bike rather than two.” You shrug. “Less noise.”

“Pretty sure you just like holding onto me.” Jason offers with a shrug.

“Yeah, that too, I guess.” You roll your shoulders dramatically and sometimes you might just like to fill his ego a little.

The two of you get up and head your separate ways to get ready. You’re actually kind of excited to get back out there. You haven’t dared to ask Bruce if you could tag along during patrol. That seems weird to you and that’s Jason’s whole thing. Patrolling with Batman. You’d never overstep on his thing. But, this? This is just the two of you and this time, it’s on your turf. You both know the city. You both know the bad guys, Jason a lot more than you but you both know. You both know all of the ins and outs, how to get away. All of it. This isn’t Jerry or Deathstroke. These are dealers who are likely dealing to kids, getting them killed and this shouldn’t be too difficult.

Jason and you take his bike to Crime Alley and to a warehouse that’s currently being used. It’s always a warehouse. Can’t they get a little more creative? But, the two of you have a plan. You go in and you bust them. Beat them up a bit, tie them up, and call it good. You’ll call the GCPD with a tip and be home free. It’s a simple plan. Jason’s been looking into them a little bit and none of them are master criminals. He’s pretty confident and you trust his research.

The two of you use your grappling hooks to access the roof and entire through the rooftop door. You’re quiet as you head to the loft, ducking behind some large and dusty boxes. You both peek around the boxes and get a look at five men with several boxes around them. There are two men standing at a table, looking to be sorting something. Another man is standing by the door with a rifle. The fourth man is opening the boxes and the last man is standing in front of all of them with his phone in hand.

“Think they’re moving it tonight?” You whisper to Jason as you both duck back behind the boxes.

“Seems that way.” Jason nods. “Guy with the phone probably runs this sorry excuse of a business.”

“You take him and I’ll take the so-called guard?” You question.

Jason shakes his head and he doesn’t like that idea very much. “No, I got him.”

“You sure?” You ask and you’re suddenly feeling uneasy about it.

Jason can handle himself, you’re positive of that. But, he does come home often enough with bruises that it concerns you. And, if you’re being honest, it just seems better for you to go after the one with a long-range weapon. You can shoot acid at him if you need to, you have your knives and your throwing is accurate. Jason’s is too, of course, but you have the extra benefit of the clairvoyance.

“Yeah, I got this, babe.” Jason offers you a grin and while a large part of his reasoning is that he doesn’t want you to deal with a gun and risk getting shot, he always wants the adrenaline boost.

He wants to face the fear head-on because that’s the only way he’ll get over it. At least that’s what he tells himself. He needs to go out there, feel the adrenaline flow through his blood. Through his entire body. He needs the rush of it all. He’s dealt with this before, more than a handful of times. This should be easy.

“Alright.” You suck in a breath. “Be careful, Jay.”

“Always am. You, too.” Jason nods at you and you nod in response, Jason getting a glimpse of a smile tugging at your lips. “Okay, I’ll walk towards the stairs and when I get there, make a distraction.” Jason states. “So that way I don’t get fucking shot.”

“Will do.” You whisper.

“Ready?”

“Hell yeah.” You nod your head and gain a giant smirk.

Jason gets to his feet, keeping his stance so he’s still hidden behind the boxes as he walks past you. He stays behind some of the industrial equipment as he walks closer to the stairs that are closer to the man guarding the door. You get to a crouching position and watch Jason carefully. You can feel the rush coming over you and you’d be lying if you said you don’t miss this feeling. Sure, pain makes you feel alive but so does this. The adrenaline rush of being a situation that’s just a little dangerous, doing something you definitely probably should not be doing. The helping people because that’s what this is all about at the end of the day. The greater good kind of deal. And then there’s the added benefit of working with Jason. You feel alive as you watch him get to the last bit of equipment that can hide him properly so you grab a knife from your belt, readying yourself to move.

You suck in a breath and pop up from the boxes. Your grip on your knife is tight but you’re ready to go as soon as they notice you. Jason is watching you and when he said to cause a distraction, he definitely did not mean that. He absolutely means to knock something over or throw something not be the bait. And if you both weren’t about to do this right now, he might even be a little annoyed by it. The whole point is that you don’t get hurt and you throw yourself in the way of fire. Maybe it’s something he would do.

“Hey, fuckfaces!” You call, getting the attention of the five men. “Come on, it’s a Thursday night, don’t you have anything better to do than distribute drugs?” You quip while the men collectively stare at you in confusion. “I mean, there’s a river you could drown in instead. Maybe head over to Amusement Mile and test your luck there.”

“Shoot her!” The headman yells while the guard points his gun at you.

The throbbing kickstarts in the front of your head just as Jason pops up, projecting the grappling hook into the door and sliding down the wire, kicking the guy in the chest. You use yours to jump down to the main floor just as Jason makes contact. One of the men at the tables pulls out a gun, aiming it at you just as you throw your knife and it connects with his abdomen immediately followed by a second knife just below it. Blood seeps out as the man drops his gun and the other men pull out their guns and the throbbing is located on all of the men as you grab a knife in one hand and the other hand starts to glow.

You don’t want to use the acid but these are not master criminals. And it’s five against two, four of them have guns. You can only throw two knives at a time, the acid can, at the very least, buy you a little bit of time while Jason gets the guard down. Plus, you’re here with Jason and you’re certain using the acid with him around is safe.

Jason wrestles the guy for his gun as you shoot acid at the men with the guns, a good distraction as they try not to get burned. And you use that opportunity to throw a knife at the man in charge, nailing him in the chest and immediately following it with a knife to his thigh as he goes to the ground. Jason gets the gun away and uses it to knock the guard out and starts attacking one of the other men with a gun.

The last guy holds his gun steady at you and you offer him a smile as you move just before the gun goes off. Jason gets his guy down quickly and moves to the guy who still has a gun pointed at you. But this time, the guy turns to Jason and aims it right at his face just as Jason was nearing him. Jason stands just a few inches from the barrel of the gun and you expect him to be fine. To do something. But instead, you’re watching him completely freeze. He doesn’t move. He looks down the barrel of the gun and doesn’t do a single thing. You don’t even think he’s breathing.

“Robin’s got himself a sidekick.” The man quips and you’re thankful this guy seems to be the arrogant type. They’re always the dumb ones. Want to have bragging rights and go on this huge speech about how great they are, wasting time. Boring.

You don’t offer him any reaction, instead, you reach for two knives and throw them both. You hit the man’s neck, the knife sticking out as blood spills out and the other hits his wrist. The tip of the knife hits the main vein and he drops the gun as he falls to his knees and then to his back. You swear you can see Jason sucking in a breath as you walk up to him.

“Thanks.” Jason mutters. “Let’s tie ‘em up and get outta here.” Jason nods his head but before you can get to the rest of your plan, you can hear sirens in closing in on you.

Jason grabs you by the hand, yanking you with him and the two of you take off back where you came. You’re quick to get on the bike and Jason takes off as soon as he feels you secure around his waste. The place starts getting surrounded by GCPD as you’re trying to escape. Jason veers off, almost a little too quickly to dodge one of the cop cars. Unfortunately, the car does see you and starts following you.

“What if we get caught?” You ask through your com system.

“You suddenly worried about getting caught?” Jason quips, swerving around a car.

“No, but you’re Robin and in your suit.” You state.

“We won’t get caught, hold on.” Jason tells you, pulling back the throttle and kicking the bike up into third. Your grip tightens around him, the flashing lights shine behind you.

As you round a corner, Jason spots an alley and veers right into it before the cop makes it all the way around the corner. Jason shuts the bike off in the dark alley, getting off the bike as he takes his helmet off. He walks over the entrance, looking out but still hidden in the shadows. You follow his lead and stand opposite him, looking the other way to see if you can see anything.

Jason glances to you and most of your face is covered in the shadows but he swears you are enthralling. Your breathing is rapid from adrenaline and you’re standing a little close to him. He can’t help but watch you because you really went into this with him. He brings it up and you go with it, you have a plan and stick with it. And you looked out for him tonight when it never should have been your job. And you can handle yourself.

He remembers your first few weeks of training and you were less than good but tonight, you could have taken down all five men by yourself and Jason thinks you’re incredible. Despite it all, you show no fear in any of this. Between Jerry and Deathstroke, you go into this ready to roll and that’s the end of it. Jason finds you courageous and admirable and completely and utterly enthralling. All he wants is you. Him and Rose would do this, but Rose kind of did her own thing. They weren’t really a team but Jason and you work together really well. You look out for each other and you listen to each other. You’re in it together, always. And Jason swears you’re everything to him.

You can feel his stare on you so you look back at him, and you’re almost standing chest-to-chest. The alley is a tight squeeze and you’re so close. You can hear your heart in your ears and your stomach swirls. You can see Jason’s signature smirk in the low light and it makes you almost laugh. He’s here smirking while you’re hiding from the cops and you can’t wipe the smile off of your face. He gets just a big a kick out of this as you do. No one ever understood it. The running from cops thing. It’s fun. Adrenaline-inducing, even knowing you won’t get caught. Jason gets it though and he’s looking at you and you feel exposed in a good way.

“Hey.” You whisper to him, chewing the inside of your cheek.

“Hey.” Jason’s voice is low and his heart is stuck between thunder and stopping. His breath hitches in his throat and he’s so close.

“Hey.” You repeat and you don’t know what else to say.

All you do know is that you’re happy you both did this. You both took down some bad men and you did it together. You swear you wouldn’t have it any other way. Being a vigilante is cool and it’s fun in itself but working with Jason, that’s different. It’s different because it’s him and he makes everything better.

Jason starts leaning his head down closer to you and your entire being completely freezes. You want to close the distance between you but you can’t bring yourself to. You want to kiss him so badly it physically aches the very center of your chest. It’s all you’ve ever wanted to do since the first time you did it.

“Thanks for coming.” Jason’s voice is so low, you barely even hear him.

“I’ll always come with you.” You match the lowness and you reach forward, grabbing his cape in one hand.

Jason glances between your eyes and lips, his breathing growing quicker. And for a split second, he finally has the thought of “fuck it”. He presses his forehead to yours and you brush your nose against his. Neither of you can even breathe properly. Jason can feel your breath ragged against his lips as his mouth runs dry. And it’s as if this is the moment all of this has led up.

A kiss where there are no stakes in it. It’s not because one of you almost died. It’s because you’re running from the cops in an environment where you both feel comfortable and somehow, safe. Safe enough. And Jason’s head swims, almost completely oblivious to the sounds around you or the way his hands are inductively coming to your hips. You close your eyes and you want to exist in this moment for the rest of your life. In this moment where it’s just you and him in a dark alley surrounded by Gotham’s humid air of summer. With this lip brushing yours. And that is all Jason wants, too.

But, then you both hear the sirens and you’re snapped right out of it. You both look to the side, seeing the flashing lights and Jason squeezes your hips, moving you to the side allowing you both to be further in the shadows of the alley. Your heart sinks and you think maybe you should have went for it. It’s bound to happen and you know it. But, you did nothing anyway. And you have never been more disappointed by anything. Jason swears it’s hard for him to commit to it. Like, maybe if you just…did it. No need for a discussion or anything. Maybe you could just do it. There really wasn’t a discussion with Rose, though and that all worked out so well. But, this is you and he thinks kissing you might make things easier. But then he comes back to not wanting his heart broken again. And definitely not wanting to break yours.

“We should get out of here.” Jason clears his throat, his voice still a whisper.

“Yeah, good idea.” You nod your head, grabbing your helmet from the bike.

The two of you get on and Jason drives back to the Manor neither of you saying a word through the entire drive. When you get back to the Manor, Jason heads off to take the suit off and you head to your room to change. You take one of your knives from the belt and put it in between the mattress and bedframe, making sure it’s always there, just in case. You put the rest of her knives on a dresser, laying your belt flat and call it good before grabbing a change of clothes and heading to the shower.

Jason waits for his turn to shower in his room and his hands are still shaking. He tries to convince himself it’s just the adrenaline dump. It happened the first few weeks as Robin. He’d go out with Bruce and he’d be so excited and happy to be there. He’d be out helping, kicking ass with Batman and then he’d come back to the Manor still roaring from the high and his hands would shake from the unfiltered excitement. It’s like his body just didn’t know what to do with the feeling so it just vibrated. But, he knows this is not that.

He froze and you had to bail him out. It sucks and that part scares him even more. What’s he going to do if he can’t come back from this? He can’t be out there being Robin and freeze. He’ll get killed, he’ll get other people killed. He feels weak and useless.

“Your turn.” You offer him a soft smile as you walk into his room.

Jason's thoughts dissolve away as he looks up seeing your hair still wet from the shower. You’re wearing a t-shirt and shorts, something he’s seen in a hundred time but you look really comfortable. Jason thinks if comfort were a person, maybe it’d be you.

“Thanks.” Jason gets up from his spot on the bed and his tired eyes and slight limp don’t go unnoticed.

“You okay, Jay?” You look at him with gentle eyes.

“All good.” Jason shrugs his shoulders. “I’ll be back, you wanna watch something when I get back?” Jason dodges the conversation because he can’t admit that he’s weak to you. He can’t say the words out loud and make them real. He can’t cement them into the universe and he can’t let you know him differently.

You nod and offer him a sweet smile. “Yeah, that’d be nice. I’ll wait here.” You walk past him and take a seat on his bed. “Did you have a preference?”

“Nope.” Jason lets himself chuckle, looking over his shoulder. “You have alright taste.” He scrunches his nose.

“Shut up. I have a superior taste.” You hold your head up high.

“Sure, you do, babe. Alright, I’ll be back.” Jason lets out a sigh before he heads out of his room.

You look around and you think it’s weird he hasn’t made this place his own. There’s still a framed poster for the Flying Graysons on one wall and besides a bookshelf with several books and clothes on the floor, it doesn’t feel very Jasony. At the tower, he moved a bike into his room, skateboard, and graffiti on the walls. There were things that were his on display. But, not here.

Jason talks a lot of shit about Dick but you kind of wonders if he talks shit about Dick for the same reasons you do. His name is literally Dick, he set that up himself. But, also because it’s easier. Sure, they have bigger problems and Dick was the first Robin, the first son to Bruce Wayne. Sure, and that’s gonna cause it’s own drama because they’re brothers. But, you wonder if it’s also because despite it all, despite Dick being an ass sometimes, he'd look out for all of you.

He let you all exist. When you’d pull a prank, he never got really mad. He let you prank each other, let you prank him. If any of you wanted anything for your rooms or clothes or food or video games or supplies for hobbies, anything, all you had to do was ask and Dick would give you a credit card. He’d join you all for movie nights sometimes, never complaining about it. Dick always acted more like an older brother to all of you than anything else. And you wonder if that’s why Jason acts like he doesn’t like him half the time. It’s a lot easier to fight than admit sometimes Dick isn’t so bad. That someone is actually making an effort when they’re in a position of authority because one day he might leave. He did. Maybe there’s a point to that. But, maybe Dick always a point at the end of the day. And maybe it’s easier because in a way, Jason is kind of Dick’s replacement and that’s probably hard trying to fill his shoes.

Jason froze tonight which definitely seems uncharacteristic. you remember when he fought Dr. Light. You held him off for a minute or so while Jason regained himself. But, it was just a few seconds and Jason dove right in to fight at first anyway. Jason didn’t miss a beat and once he was back on his feet, Dr. Light should have been done for. He would have been if it weren’t for Deathstroke. And you’ve seen the videos. Jason doesn’t freeze. But, tonight he did. And you wonder if he’s been freezing on patrol and that’s why he’s coming home with bruises.

Jason is skilled and he’s been doing this for a while. You expect him to come home injured from time to time, of course, he’s not invincible but the way he talks about it, that they got lucky, it makes you think something is up. He went through something horrible and traumatic and you’re not judging him for that but you’re worried. He looks tired and he’s limping but he didn’t take as single hit to the leg. Jason Todd does not freeze and you’re worried about him.

“What’s up?” Jason asks as he enters his room wearing a black t-shirt and black shorts, his wet hair sticking to his forehead.

You snap your attention back to him, eyes slightly wide and you didn’t realize you’d been sitting here thinking for that long. “Nothing.” You shake your head. “Just…are you sure you’re okay, Jay?” You furrow your brows while Jason walks over to the bed, standing in front of you, quirking a brow.

“Yeah, why?”

The shower helped clear his head. The warmth of the steam usually does it but honestly, the only thing he wants to do right about now is lay down with you. Not this talking shit. He’s fine. Maybe if he says it enough times, he will be.

“You froze tonight.” You state, looking up at him.

“I didn’t freeze.” Jason lets out a scoff.

“I mean…” You trail off. “You paused and I had to bail you out which is fine, of course. It was just weird for you. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” You watch his face, the way his eyes dart up to the left for a split second before coming back to you.

“I’m fucking fine, alright? It’s not a thing.” Jason snips and he goes to move away but you grab his hand.

“Hey,” You search his face as he turns back around. “It’s you and me, like literally, no one else is even here. What the hell is going on?”

Jason sucks in a breath and he’s really good at lying. He doesn’t want to lie to you but that seems so much better than talking about the terror he’s living through every day. When it’s just you, here at the Manor or walking around Gotham, it distracts him. It distracts him from all of it and you make him feel okay. He doesn’t feel scared around you but then he goes out and it’s like he’s trapped with Deathstroke again. He doesn’t get it and it sucks. It makes him feel useless. Broken. Damaged. So, he lies to avoid ever saying those words to you.

“Okay, look, I hurt my back on patrol last night. It’s fine.”

Your eyes narrow and you don’t believe it. He’s been fine, physically. You are almost certain you would notice because you notice that after your third training session of the day, he’s always favoring his leg. You don’t ask, but you’re always a little cautious when you sit with him or lay with him and you offer to get him things more. Jason is good at hiding pain, he’s been doing it his entire life but he’s also relaxed around you and that’s why you know about his leg. If his back hurt, you’d know.

“You seemed fine earlier?”

Jason shakes his head and shakes his hand from yours, resting both of his hands on your shoulders. “I’m fine, alright? It’s just a pulled muscle, must have aggravated it during sparring today.”

He’s lying. Jason is really good at lying but he’s dodging your eyes and not looking at your lips. You’re gathering that’s his tell. For whatever reason, he’s lying to you and it kind of bothers you. But, it’s Jason and you’re patient with him. He’ll tell you when he’s ready and you accept that. You figure you’ll keep an eye on him a little more than usual and see how it goes. You swear that if you see him slipping again, you’ll talk to Bruce. You’ll call Dick, Gar, Kory, you’ll call everyone you have to to make sure Jason is okay.

“Did you want me to rub your back then?” You offer, looking up at him.

Jason gains a smirk and the back isn’t a total lie. It is sore. It’s not just the leg pain. Conner caught him which saved his life and saved him from any catastrophic injury but he’s noticed his back tends to hurt a bit more ever since. He landed right on top of Conner, on his back. It wasn’t exactly graceful or painless. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong, but it gets sore.

“Are you flirting with me?” Jason smirks, squeezing your shoulders.

Your cheeks start to burn as you suck in a breath. You’re down to play the game again. You tilt your head barely to the right and then back up. “What if I am, Jay?”

Jason lets out a breath, moving his jaw to the left as he grins. “You could be a little better at it.”

Your eyebrows shoot up as your mouth falls open. If he wants to play that game, you’ll play. You lift your hand and slide your first finger into the waistband of his shorts and pull him closer to you, never letting your eyes leave his and Jason feels his heart come up to his throat as he moves closer to you. You bat your eyes at him and you know that won’t be nearly enough to shut him the fuck up. So, you slide your hand from his waistband, to the collar of his shirt and pull him down to you as you lean back, Jason catching himself with his hand. His palms land on the mattress, on either side of your head.

Jason’s breath hitches in his throat as he looks at you. You move your hands to his face, cupping his cheeks and Jason’s mind starts to race with the thundering of his heart. He’s thinking you’re going to actually bring this beyond flirting. He is silently begging to the universe for you to take this beyond flirting. His eyes dart to your lips and he thinks about doing it first, just to win. He thinks about it for a split second but what if you’re just screwing with him like always? Just being flirty? So, he doesn’t move and instead, keeps his eyes on your lips.

You lean up, moving your hand away from his left cheek. He feels your breath hot on his skin and he feels like he’s going to combust right into the stratosphere. You make your way down to his neck and nips at the skin. Jason lets out a soft groan at it, his head dipping and you know you’ve just won. You come back to his cheek, and lick him.

“Ah!” Jason groans, scrunching his nose as he quickly moves his hand to his cheek to wipe the spit off but he’s laughing while you lay back down.

“Was that good enough for you?” You quip and you have this proud smile that Jason thinks might send him into cardiac arrest.

This was definitely good enough for him but Jason likes to play. It’s his game to win and maybe he’s hoping you’ll keep upping your tactics until there is nothing else left to do. Maybe you can meet in the middle.

His brows furrow as he places his hand back down near the side of your head. “Nope, I can do better.”

You let out a laugh and you love the way your heart goes into your stomach. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Take off your shirt and let me rub your back.” Jason’s voice is low and you feel the rollercoaster start between your heart and stomach. And you almost do it just to fuck with him.

“You just wanna see my boobs.” You manage to get out and you hope he doesn’t notice the quiver of your voice.

He does and he gains the most devious grin you’ve ever seen. “I’m not opposed.” Jason chuckles from above you.

“Keep dreaming, Jay.” You grin at him before you clear your throat because if you stay like this, you’ll cave. You’re so certain of that because you’re looking up at him and whenever you’re this close, you get to see just how green and pretty his eyes are. You’re almost certain you’ll never get tired of the shade of green. “So, uh, I think I won that one. Got a pretty noise out of you.” Jason swears he just swallowed his own vocal cord with the comment. It was a pretty noise and you kind of want to see what else you can get out of him. But, that’s not your place. You are friends, despite the fact you both know you are not. “Seriously,” You suck in a breath. “I can rub your back if you think it’ll help. I don’t mind.”

Jason lets out a chuckle and then what seems to be a sigh of mixed relief and disappointment falls from his lips. He pushes himself up, you sitting up with him. “Thanks.” Jason nods his head with a soft smile and gets on the bed.

You beam and you reach for the remote on his nightstand while Jason tugs his shirt over his head. He lays on his stomach, facing the TV while you turns on a show for background. You take a second, looking over at Jason and his back is nicely toned. His shoulder muscles are stretched as he has his hands under his chin to hold his head up and you’d be lying if you didn’t find it very attractive. But, you can’t just stare so you move to sit on top of him so you can rub his back. And that’s when you see it.

You move to look over to his right side where you can see a large blotch of deep maroon peaking around to his back and your entire heart sinks. It doesn’t matter that he’s Robin. That’s not the issue. That will never be the issue. The issue is that yo’uve seen all of these videos, of him as Robin, barely taking hits. Sure, he gets knocked around sometimes, but this seems bad.

“Jay?” You call your voice soft and Jason can tell by your movement you’ve found the bruise.

“It’s fine.” Jason assures you.

“Is it?” You ask. “It looks pretty bad. I mean, I would know.” Jason can hear the worry in your voice and he hates worrying you.

“I’m fine, I promise.”

“Was this from last night or the night before?”

“Night before.” He thinks about lying to you but that’s not fair. You don’t lie to him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jason looks over his shoulder to see the look of unfiltered concern across your face. “Didn’t want you to fucking worry. I’m fine.” The left corner of his mouth twitches up and he always does that when he’s trying to convince you he’s fine.

You narrow your eyes at him. “I think I’m gonna make you a swear jar but instead it’ll be an ‘I’m fine’ jar.” You quip.

“You know we get hurt out there sometimes. It’s not a thing.” Jason gives you a fake cocky grin.

You know that’s true. Maybe it was a bad night. You’re uneasy about it but he makes a good point. And maybe you’re just worried because it’s him and you’re so sure about your feelings. And tonight happened where he froze and maybe you’re overthinking it. You hope you’re overthinking it.

“Yeah, okay.” You nod your head. “Did you want like ice though? I mean…it is bad.”

“No.” Jason chuckles, turning his head back forward. “I’m alright. Thanks, though.”

“Yeah, okay.” You let out a sigh as you rest your hands on his back, lightly rubbing over his warm skin. You look over his back where you notices a few old scars. There’s one up on his shoulder blade and another down by his left kidney. Your finger traces over the one on his shoulder blade. “Where’s it hurt?” Your voice is so gentle it sends a rush of goosebumps down his spine.

“All over.” Jason has his eyes closed and he doesn’t even realize he answered so easily but it makes you smile softly.

“How’d you get the scars?” You ask as you start at his shoulders.

Jason lets out a groan, no one’s ever done this before. “Uh, shoulder was a fight. Fucker had a knife and I had my fists.”

“Ouch.” Your brows furrow. “Before Robin?”

“Yeah, first year on the streets.”

“How long were on the streets for?” You keep working on his shoulders.

“Four years, in and out of foster care.” Jason lets out a sigh as you work out a knot.

“Wow.” You say quietly and you didn’t realize he was on the streets that long. “That’s a long time.”

“Yeah, it’s alright though.” Jason sucks in a breath. “Worked out, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, but that’s still rough. When did you find that school?” You ask and it warms Jason’s heart that you remember.

“I don’t know, after two years I think. Uh, it was winter, cold as shit outside. But, the school was open. It was somewhere warm with a roof. No one to bother me.”

“I’m glad you found that place.”

“Yeah, me, too.” Jason lets out a sigh because he knows that winter would have been tough if not.

The shelters aren’t always a good place. They don’t have a lot of space and there are rules. Jason doesn’t like the rules very much and then you have bad people who don’t have kid’s best interests at heart. The school was safe.

“Wasn’t all bad, I did like that place.”

You get a soft smile as you slide your hands down his back. “Good, I’m glad you had a place to go at least. And it sparked an interest.” You let out a soft laugh and you feel Jason chuckle under you. You tap the other scar gently. “This one?”

“Fight with my dad.” Jason clears his throat. No one knows about that. He really hates talking about it.

You stiffen and you know his dad sucked but you didn’t realize it was like that. You lean over, looking at his face and his eyes are open now, distant and sad. “What do you mean a fight with your dad?”

“Mom and me were better off without him.” Jason clenches his jaw and you get it, your heart breaking for him. And you wonder if he’s ever had a break in his entire life.

“I’m really sorry, Jay.” You trace the scar gently before going back to rubbing his back. “You deserved better.”

Jason laughs softly from under you because that’s a lot easier than letting the world know it hurts. “I’m Robin, babe. All good.”

“You always do that. Something bad happens and you say it’s good because you’re Robin.” You find a knot in his back and start to work on it, Jason groaning from under you. “I mean, it’s great but, uh…” You pause for a few seconds, Jason listening closing. “You just… remember that night with Jerry?”

“Of course.”

“You asked if I felt better and I said no. Do you remember why?”

Jason could never forget what you said. He remembers your entire rant because in your rant about Jerry, he’s the one that felt seen. Because you let him see you. “Because it happened to you.”

“Yeah, like…it didn’t matter if I ran from it or into it because it still fucking happened. I don’t know. You, uh, you just…you got that. You didn’t expect me to be fine about it or okay with it. It happened to me and you accepted that as a part of me but not in that traumatic way but just that it was a part of my life. I don’t really know how to phrase that.” You laugh awkwardly but you have Jason’s undivided attention. “Like, uh, it matters because it happened to me and there’s nothing I can do to erase it but it doesn’t have to matter in a huge way because I have you.” You shrug and you keep your eyes on your hands, trying to get the knot out. Jason can see you from the corner of his eyes. “It matters because it happened to me but it’s not my defying quality and it doesn’t need to be fixed. Just worked through when I’m ready and in a way I feel comfortable with. You, uh, you taught me that.” You clear your throat. “So, I guess the point of that run-on sentence was that you don’t have to do that. Like, brush it off and shit. Not with me anyway. It happened to you to you, too and that’s okay. It’s not your defining quality and you don’t have to be fine or okay with it. With anything bad that happens because you’ll get through it, one way or another and you’ll have me.”

Jason turns his head to look at the TV and no one gets him like you do and he can’t even understand it. His chest physically aches because it means almost too much to him. It’s something he knows he’ll never be able to comprehend. He’ll never understand why he matters to you. Or why you care so much about him. He’ll never understand why you’re like this with him or how he’d ever be good enough for you. He swears he doesn’t deserve you or your kindness and understanding. You went through hell and Jason has seen it. You’re snarky as hell, a fire he can’t put out. He almost thinks if he looks at you too long, he’ll turn into ash. But, here you are, rubbing knots out of his back with gentle fingers and gentle words.

“Thank you.” Jason finally says. “Yeah, I don’t fucking talk about. Never told Bruce. I’m sure he fucking knows but I never told him or Alfred.”

“I won’t tell him.” You assure him. “Dads are the worst.”

“Yeah, fucking right.” Jason shakes his head. “What about you? You were on the streets a year, yeah?”

“Mhm.” You hum. “Mom died and two days later CPS showed up so I bailed. Bounced around shelters and slept under one of the overpasses sometimes.”

“I’m sorry.” Jason says quietly. You really had no time to grieve. You were thrown right into the thick of it. Jason was shipped off to his uncle and then into foster care when his mom and uncle died.

“It's alright, got a lot worse.” You let out a laugh as the sarcasm drips from your words. “No, but, uh, Gotham ya know? It’s home whether I’m on the streets or in fucking Bruce Wayne’s Manor, I guess.”

Jason laughs from under you. “Takes getting used to.”

"No shit, it's fucking weird." You smile softly. "But thank you for asking him to take me in."

Jason looks at you again. "I'd do anything for your ass."

"I'd do anything for you." You repeat back.

And the two of you fall into a comfortable silence while you work on his back. He's tense all over and you don't think he should be. Jason Todd deserves to relax, let his guard down. He doesn't need to be so stressed all of the time. He's too good for it. Life has not been kind to him and you make a silent promise to yourself that if life is going to keep treating him so cruelly, you never will. You'll fight every horrible, terrible, bad thing that comes near him because he should have a break. And you really like him. You really, really, like him.

"You have a nice back." You blurt out.

Jason lets out a booming laugh almost unsure if he heard you correctly. "What?"

"You have a nice back." You repeat, this time with more confidence.

"Thanks?" Jason questions, unsure what else he's supposed to say. In your friendship this far, you've never really complimented each other's appearances. It's something Jason didn't realize until now. There was that one time the first day you met but other than that, you've never said anything to each other. "You've got a nice ass."

You pause, laughing from above him. "Thank you? I guess?"

"You're welcome." Jason answers confidently.

You roll your eyes. "Shithead."

"Babe." Jason clears his throat and that was a deep conversation. Time for some fun again. "Anything else nice about me?" The sarcasm drips from his words like honey.

"Are you digging for a compliment?"

"Nah, but you're the one sitting on my ass and complimenting my back."

"Alright, fine." You let out a sigh and decide to just take the bait and see where it goes with no one home. "I do like your face." You admit and Jason twists his head, nearly shifting his entire body to look at you. "What? I literally told you that the first day I met you."

Jason remembers you doing that to try and distract him. "Thought you were fucking with me."

"Eh, that too but it's true." You shrug. "You gotta nice face." You smile softly, keeping your eyes on his back almost nervous to look at him.

Jason chuckles and you have a nice face, too. "Sit up for a sec."

"Uh, okay?" You question, sitting up on your knees and Jason shifts under you, turning around to face you. You feel your stomach flip and your heart start to race. "Yes?" Sam try to play it cool as you sit back down on him. You suddenly have no idea what to do with your hands. You’ve never so unsure of where to put them or aware of their existence until right now.

"You have a nice face, too." Jason mocks you and you roll your eyes.

"I'll take it back." You defend because you’re almost certain he's just teasing you.

"You can't take it back." Jason defends as he rests his hands on your thighs and your breath catches in your throat. "It's true though."

You finally decide to place your hands on his chest and he's so warm under you. His skin is smooth here, unlike his hands that are always calloused and rough. And he's tough, the muscle under his skin. He's so sturdy and it's not all that surprising. He trains a lot but it is very attractive. And it's making you a little nervous.

"Taking it back." You taunt him but there's a fire that's fallen in your words and Jason raises a brow at you.

"What's up?"

"Huh?" You shake your head. Your eyes are wider than usual and you aren't sure where to look. His chest and abs are a little distracting. But so is his face while you’re sitting on top of him. His hands are on your thighs and you’re ready to explode into a million pieces. "Nothing. What?"

A sly grin paints itself across Jason's face. "You look nervous."

"I'm not nervous!" You rush your words, putting pressure on his chest in defense. He can't know you’re nervous.

"You sure?" He's taunting you but you are nervous. He makes you nervous sometimes and it's different. This is a lot different because he's facing you and you’re sitting on him. His hands creep further up your thighs, goosebumps spreading over your skin. What the hell is he up to?

"What're you doing, Jay?" You shake your head at him and it's as if you’ve been glued in this exact position.

"Nothing." Jason smirk up at you. He's wondering how far he can push this until you move or make some quip that'll make him burst into a fit of laughter. Payback for earlier.

"Oh, nothing? Not trying to pull some shit?" You raise a brow at him, narrowing your eyes and he is always up to something. That is one of his defining characteristics.

"Nope." The smirk stays steady on his lips but he's holding back a laugh.

"Liar." You raise your brows at him and you’re begging for him to just do it. Do something.

"What shit do you think I'm pulling?"

"I dunno." You shrug, your thumbs rubbing over his skin softly. "Playing chicken."

"We're always doing that."

"Uh-huh, but I'm on top of you now." You offer him a grin, trying to swallow your own nerves.

Jason lets out a breath and he isn't sure how to commit to this. He doesn't know how. When he tried with Rose, it blew up. She avoided it until she couldn't anymore. Jason doesn't want to do that to you but he doesn't know how to go about it. What if you leave? What if being more than whatever the hell you are is too much? He doesn't know how that could be the case but maybe it is. That's when Rose decide to come clean. She used him. You aren't Rose but it's still a fresh wound and he can't wrap his head around someone sticking it out with him. But he wants you to. He doesn't know how to fully commit to it besides your game so he sits up and decides to push the game a little further.

"Is that an issue?" Jason is sitting on the way up, hands now on the bed to hold himself up.

You can't help but notice how cold your thighs are without his hands on them anymore and you’re already wanting to yank his hands back into place. But, instead, you look to his lips and you think maybe this is easier than committing to it. You don't have to talk about it, if something happens. You had to at the tower because Gar was involved, too many people around. It was complicated. It doesn't have to be now because it's just you and him.

You shake your head. "No." Your voice is quiet. You move your hands to his shoulders and you can't breathe. But it always feels cathartic with him. "Issue for you?"

"No." Jason's voice is low and he hasn't stopped looking at your lips.

You can see his chest moving with every breath, as if he can't decide if he should do it so you decide, you'll make the move. You won't chicken out this time because what do you have to lose at this point? You'll leave the door wide open for him and it's up to him what he does with it.

"Nervous?" You ask and you close some of the distance between you.

Jason's heart plummets in his stomach. "Fuck no." His voice is groveled as he swallows thickly glancing to your eyes and his breathing quickens just enough for you to notice.

"Really? Cause you seem a little nervous." You taunt him and Jason looks back to your eyes and his eyes are darken than usual.

He will never let you think he's nervous but he’s also a little worried you can actually hear the thundering in his chest. It’s almost deafening to him.

Jason grabs your hips and pulls you closer to him and he hears you gasp, your grip tightening on his shoulders. "Not a fucking chance, babe."

You see your opening. "Prove it." You bite back without missing a beat. Jason's eyes widen and he swears his heart just stopped beating. "We don't have to do that talking shit after." You rest your forehead against his. "Prove it, Jay." You taunt and Jason can't take it anymore.

Jason grabs your face and slams his lips against yours. You completely melt against him. You slide your hands up his neck and into his hair. You give the strands a light tug, Jason letting out a groan into your mouth. Jason lets himself get lost in your kiss. It's even better than your kiss from before. This is so much better because it's because you both want it and not because he almost died. It's led up to this moment and you don't have to have that talk. There is no feeling of being too exposed or the consequences of your actions. It's him and you. And you taste like a Sunday morning sunrise.

You taste bright and warm and calm. You’re a Sunday morning sunrise. The start of a new week, where nothing else matters from the other seven days. You taste like a fresh start where none of the horrors that took place on a Saturday night could ever matter because he made it to see the sunrise. He made it one more week and one more week next to you. You taste like the feeling of his bed after a long day of patrol. Your mouth moves with his and he swears he feels like he's been given a second chance at this life. You’re warm and comfortable and he thinks he might be able to do this all night if you'll let him He doesn't feel so damaged or broken, he just feels safe and alive.

He's intoxicating in the best possible way. You’re so enthralled by him. He's pretty and smart and funny. He's a smartass and strong, physically and mentally. He's kind with a little bit of a roughness to that kindness. He looks out for people and wants to protect strangers. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of Jason Todd but to you, he is good. He is enough and he is perfectly flawed in a way that makes him perfect. And being with him, makes you feel so alive again.

In that basement, getting tortured, you couldn't remember what it felt like to be alive. To breathe with ease, to not feel endless dread and despair, to not feel numb to everything. You didn't remember what it was like to feel anything besides rage and sadness. But, you meet him and everything that happened to you, matters but in a way that has never made you feel like damaged goods. He sees you at your worst and instead of being mean or cruel, or running, he stays. He reads to you and trains with you. He smirks at you and flirts but never crosses that line because that wouldn't be fair. He accepts you for everything you are today and who you'll be tomorrow. Jason Todd is this bruised masterpiece of a person who deserves far more than he has ever been given.

Jason pulls away, catching his breath and he takes a second to rest his forehead against yours. His hands are still in your hair. A lazy smile dances gently onto his face and his mind is so clear right now. His only thought is you and the way his lips are tingling and his cheeks are aching in a way he wants to feel for the rest of his life. That drug bust today, means nothing because this is the happiest he's been since before Deathstroke. And when his eyes open, you’re barely looking at him, your eyes half-lidded. He's never felt this way about someone. He didn't even think he was capable of it.

"I win." Jason's voice is graveled and raspy as he lifts his forehead from yours, lettings his hands fall from your hair and down your back. But he's careful not to let his hands off you because the idea of letting go entirely almost makes him nauseous.

You narrow your eyes, daunting a smirk. "Did you though?" You quip but your voice is so much softer than usual, it's almost like velvet.

Jason tilts his head to the right, raising his brows. "Told me to prove it and I did so yeah." It's a nervous laugh that leaves his lips.

You nod your head and you don't care what you have to do, but you'll do anything right about now to keep kissing him. "Remember I told you that one day I'd commit to your little game and you wouldn't know what to do?" You laugh softly and Jason deadpans. "You said you would still win because I would cave. Hey, Jay," You vibrate on top of him as a laugh comes through your throat. "You committed to your own game so by your own logic, I just won."

Jason tilts his head forward, touching your forehead for just a second and he's so crazy about you. "You played me!" A laugh rips through Jason's chest as he tilts his head back and you nod quickly.

"Well, to be fair, I didn't think you'd do it." Your cheeks hurt from laughing and you want to play this game. This game is more fun. "I will say though," You let your laugh subside as Jason shakes his head and he can't believe you beat him at his own game. And that's why he likes you. "You were right, that's a win-win."

Jason's chest blooms with your words. "Yeah? And how's that?" Jason smirks at you, playing dumb as he shrugs his shoulders. He wants to hear you say it and you know that's what he's doing by the devious smirk on his face.

"I know what you're doing." Your eyes widen and you tilt your head side to side slightly, mocking him.

"Don't know what the fuck you're talking about." The smirk splits his face this time and he thinks he could do this all night with you. Back and forth, going for it again and then back and forth. Never having that talk that would change things a little too much for right now.

"Okay," You let out a scoff and roll your eyes. You decide you'll go ahead and just say it. The worst that can happen is he'll laugh and then you'll laugh with him. But, the best thing that can happen is that he'll kiss you again. "Because kissing you is kind of sort of fun, I guess."

"Oh, you guess?" Jason mocks you and he thinks the smirk might have nailed itself to his face. His heart is booming and all he can feel right now is absolute joy. "Think it's more than kind of sort of by the look on your face right now."

"Shut up. I don’t have a look!" You defend as you squeeze his shoulders.

"Yeah, ya do, babe.” Jason tilts his head as he glances to your lips and he's just waiting for a good opportunity to go again.

"Shut the fuck up." You lean forward, resting your head on his shoulder and Jason laughs.

For a second, you wonder if this is what it would be like, if you had the talk. You're both terrified of the talk changing things too much and putting too much pressure on this thing you have going. But, you wonder if maybe it wouldn't be so bad and this is what it would like. You'd say you like him and he'd say he likes you, too then tease you about it. And you'd tease him back before kissing him. And maybe it would work. Maybe you'd both be happy...together. But, you brush the thought away because you said you wouldn't have that talk.

You pick your head up after a few seconds and Jason was never this happy in San Francisco. You can see it across his face. It's the way his eyes are crinkled at the corners and the softness that glosses over his sea-green eyes.

"Okay," You suck in a breath. "What are we doing now?" You ask and Jason almost pauses, thinking you want to have the talk you said you wouldn't have to have. "Like, for the night." You clarify.

Jason shrugs and maybe this is kind of nice. His eyes look up as a smirk dances over his lips and he decides to go for it. "More of this?"

He offers it and he's completely serious despite the smirk. It's fun and he likes you, adores you. You’re everything he has ever wanted and never deserved. But, he thinks that committing to it, wholeheartedly with a conversation, is too hard. Too much pressure. This way, it's kind of like you get a trial in it. See how it goes, where it goes. Maybe you can fall into something more by accident. Everything between you this far has been some sort of accident. Accidents seem to work for you.

You narrow your eyes slightly and you can't tell if he's messing with you or not. It doesn't seem like he is but a part of you think he might be. While you might be certain there's more between you, there is that sliver of doubt that you’re imaging it. You like him so much so maybe you’re making it up to fill some part of your ego. Maybe having clarity there would be a lot more painful than you’re willing to admit.

"Hmm." You hum, Jason wiggling his brows at you and he's trying not to let on just how nervous he is for your answer. "You fucking with me?"

Jason lets out a chuckle. "Nope." Jason sucks in a breath that has the slightest quiver.

Jason's hoping you say yes because even though this wouldn't be anything serious or filled of commitment to each other, it would hurt if you said no. He has a lot of self-doubt. He doesn't think he's worthy or deserving. He'll never understand your kindness for him but a part of him, deep down, knows you feel the same way. So, he's hoping against every bad thought he's ever had, you'll be willing to do this by accident with him.

You tap your thumbs against his skin, thinking of how can you can ask for clarity without having that conversation. "So...what? Friends with benefits kind of deal or?" You grin at him and the flush of Jason's cheeks comes right back in full force.

Jason's thumbs are rubbing your sides lightly. "Could be fun." He tries to keep his calm despite the fire that's raging through his chest.

That's enough clarity for you and you think it might actually be a good idea. "Yeah," You let out a soft laugh. "Could be, make the game a bit more fun."

Jason lets out a laugh and it's so easy with you. "Could."

He's feeling a little more nervous, waiting for you to say you’re not about something like that. He's waiting for you to back out of it but he's hoping you don't. Jason knows you like to run when things get too good but maybe this can be good for you, too because friends with benefits is basically a no strings attached thing. Maybe you won't feel like you need to run.

You shakes your head and you think this is good because you fell for him by accident. You’re not exactly sure when it even happened, not for sure, but you know it was an accident. And then you picked him on purpose. So, maybe this will let you both do that, by accident at first and then on purpose.

And maybe you won't run and maybe he won't push. Maybe, just maybe, falling into this on accident and then on purpose, gives you both a chance at survival.

"Okay, Jay." You chew the inside of your cheek. "But it stays between you and me."

"You and me." Jason nods his head, inching closer to you.

You slide your hands from his shoulder to his neck before you close the distance and this time the kiss is softer as you tangle your hands in his hair. Jason lets out a breath as he smiles against you. You are everything he has ever wanted.

Jason deepens the kiss as his entire body erupts into a state of catharsis. You didn't turn this down. You didn't turn him down. He gets to kiss you and kiss you and kiss you again. It's like his days have blurred into one between patrol and nightmares. It's all become a deep dark blur of blues and reds but right now, it's as if everything is coming right back onto focus in perfect color. Nothing else besides you even matters in this exact moment because you pick him, in some way, you’re picking him and maybe he can be worthy of you. Because he has never felt so happy and cared for than he does when you’re with him.

The kiss grows sloppy and hungry, teeth clacking against each other as both of your hands grip for every part of each to bring yourselves closer together. Your hands settle to tangling in his damp hair and he tastes like Friday nights. It's those nights that are filled with neon lights and fireworks late at night on a beach where they are definitely not legal. He's the taste of roasted marshmallows over a warm bonfire and a lemon shakeup from that one booth at a carnival that gets them just right. He tastes like late Friday nights of staying out all night, running purely on adrenaline. He's the graffiti on the side of buildings and rush of getting caught. Jason tastes like freedom.

Jason bites your bottom lip, tugging softly and you groan against him, grinding down against him. You can feel Jason's rock-hard length growing under you and you can't help but grin to yourself.

"Didn't know I get you going so easily, Jay." Your voice is dropping and low against his lips before you kiss him again.

"So, why don't you do something about it?" Jason asks, kissing your lips to your cheek and then to your neck.

Your eyes close as you melt against the soft kisses he leaves behind. "Don't threaten me with a good time."

Jason bites down on your neck, sucking a bruise against your skin as you let out a soft moan. Jason grins against your skin. He could listen to you all night.

"Wouldn't be a threat." Jason mutters moving up your neck, coming back to your lips and slamming his against yours.

You slide your hands to his shoulders and push him back against the bed, following the motion down. You kiss down his cheek to his neck and it's your turn to leave a mark this time. You nip at the area, teasing him as he shifts under you. You bite down and sucks a deep purple mark right into his neck. You make sure it's in a spot he can cover...if he wants to. Jason groans under you and you love hearing him. And you decide to just go for it.

You start kissing your way down his chest and Jason feels his stomach flipping while his heart stutters. He watches you, pupils lust blown as you reach his shorts. You tug the band, kissing around his waist as Jason's breath catches in his throat and he flexes his stomach.

"You're a fucking tease." Jason groans and you snicker against his skin.

"You're so needy." You tease kissing up his abs again, staying in the spot as you feel him flex against your lips.

Jason bites down, clenching his jaw. You kiss back down to the waist of his shorts and he ruts his hips up, desperate for you to do something about it. You tug his shorts, Jason helping to pull them down. His cock bounces against his abs once it's released, rock hard and even bigger than you thought it'd be.

You take his length in one hand, giving it a few pumps before licking from the base to his red tip.

"Fuck." Jason groans with the action, his eyes shut.

You take him into your mouth, wrapping your lips around his shaft. Jason looks down and the sight alone makes him nearly burst. He slams his head back against the bed, tangling his hands in your hair. You take as much of him as you can in your mouth as you fall into a steady rhythm against his cock.

You can hear Jason grunting softly from above you and his hips jerk forward every few seconds. You use your free hand to push his hips down and keep him steady. You lick the very tip, your tongue sliding in the slit as you taste him. Jason lets out a hiss as his stomach churns.

Jason is ready to combust in a million pieces. His head is swimming and spinning. His cock throbs in your mouth. And he can feel himself inching closer, trying to buck his hips into your mouth. His grip on your hair tightens as his breathing quickens. You can feel it, too and you’re not letting him get off that easily. You suck the tip before popping off, Jason swears in through gritted teeth as you smirk up at him. He swears he's getting you back for that.

"You make pretty noises, Jay." You climb back up his body and the smirk you’re wearing makes Jason nearly lose the rest of his sanity.

Jason meets you halfway, sitting up as you straddle his lap. He collides his lips against yours in a desperate and heated kiss. Jason's hands slide to your ass, giving it a squeeze and pulling as close to him as humanly possible. Somehow, it still doesn't feel quite close enough. Jason slides his hands to the hem of your shirt, trying to slide it off but you stop him. Jason pulls away, furrowing his brows. If you don't want to, that's fine. But he's a bit confused by it given your current state.

"Don't make it weird." You say through a heaving breath, your lips kiss-blown.

Jason's chest rises quickly, scanning your face for an answer. "What do you mean?" Jason raises a brow and you're friends, you just gave him a blowjob. He's pretty sure you're passed the weirdness of it all.

You chew the inside of your cheek and you trust him with everything in your being. It's him. It's always going to be him. You’re certain this cute boy with more trauma than an ER is it for you. But, it makes you a little nervous anyway.

"Just...don't make it weird, okay?" You nod once.

"Okay..." Jason nods his head, pulling your shirt up and over your head, a lot more gently than originally intended.

He gets it once he has your shirt off. Jason notices everything. He's very observant and he notices the way you tug the sleeves over your hands when you’re nervous. He didn't know you before so he could never figure out if it was because of the ligature scars or if it were a nervous tick. You don't do it as much around him anymore so he chalked it up to a nervous tick but now he's realizing it's just because you’re comfortable with him. He found the scar on your hip and he swore he didn't care about it and he'd protect you. But, he didn't see it. And now he's getting the full view.

There's a scar from the very edge of your shoulder where your collarbone starts that goes down just above your breast. There's another one hugging your ribcage and then there's the one that hugs your hip. They're harsh reminders of the hell you went through and you wear hoodies usually because at least you’re guarded by more fabric. And Jason can feel rage filter into his blood.

"Jerry?" Jason ask through gritted teeth.

You chew the inside of your cheek and you hate those scars. They're reminders, every single day, they're reminders of what happened. And it's like he won. He didn't, you escaped and lived and he's rotting away. But, then you look in the mirror and it's like he still won because you’re the one still dealing with the scars of it all.

"Like I said, he did all sorts of shit to try and get my powers to show up." You don't feel nearly as ashamed of them as you did early today even. Jason has one from someone he was supposed to trust, too. He has scars. But you feel a little exposed anyway because no one knows. Just him and you. "There's more, too." You hang your head and Jason is not letting you do that to yourself.

"Hey." Jason cups your face, making you look at him. "I don't care." Jason shakes his head. "But I'll kill any fuck that tries to do this shit again to you, alright? I told you, they'll have to go through me."

You offer him a soft smile. "Awfully nice of you, Jay."

Jason offers you a grin. "I can be nice." Jason chuckles. "The scars are hot anyway." His voice drops and that signature smirk of his replaces the grin.

You let out a laugh, your nose scrunching. "So are yours."

Jason slams his lips against yours and he steals the air right from your lungs. You’ve never felt more comfortable being so exposed. He makes you comfortable. He makes you happy. He makes you feel alive again. You can breathe with ease around him. The world is light and airy with him around. He is this flawed perfect piece of graphite and you adore him with every fiber that makes you, you.

Jason undoes your bra, tossing it to the side before moving to your breast, pinching one of your nipples between his fingers. You let a quiet whimper, your hands holding his nick between your hands. Jason doesn't mess around long there before coming back up to your mouth. Jason pushes you back, switching so he's on top. With you flat on your back and your hands tingled in his hair, Jason slides a hand in your shorts, under your underwear. He gains a devious grin.

"You're soaked." His voice is rough and groveled.

You feel your cheeks burn. "So do you something about it." You quips against his lips.

Jason teases your opening before sliding in one finger. He pumps you a few times before sliding in a second finger and using his thumb to circle your clit. You’re unraveling right under him. You try to keep up with kissing him and it's filling Jason's ego. Your entire body is on fire and it's because of him.

He feels you clench around his fingers so he pulls out. You barely let out a frustrated whimper against him, clenching your jaw together.

"Shithead." You hiss against his lips.

"Babe." His voice nearly sends you into a tailspin. “Look who’s needy now.” Jason says in your mouth so you bite his bottom lip. Jason’s arms nearly give out with sensation.

He slides his fingers back in and goes slower this time. You swear he's the biggest tease on the face of the planet. And you wouldn't have him any other way as your head spins and your stomach does a hundred backflips.

"You have a condom?" You manage to ask against his lips.

Jason chuckles against you, sliding his hand away from you. "Course." Jason shifts towards his nightstand, opening it to grab a condom while you get under the blankets, discarding the rest of your clothes.

Jason gets the condom on before sliding under the blankets himself and on top of you. He lines himself up with your entrance before slowly sliding in. You whimper under him as he fills you up. Once he bottoms out, he takes a second to kiss you this time more gently than before allowing you to adjust to him. Then he starts pumping into you with smooth and steady strokes. You’re writhing under him and he want to hear more of you. He grab your thigh with one hand, lifting it up and towards you to give him more leverage and you swear under your breath.

Jason rests his forehead against yours. "Let me hear you." Jason's voice is so groveled you nearly explode right then and there.

You let out a moan, louder this time and Jason thrusts grow sloppier. He thinks he could drown in the sounds of you. You dig your nail into his back, tugging him closer to you. You bite his bottom lip so hard you nearly draw blood and you feel Jason stutter against you.

"Jay." You moan out his name, your nails scratching up his back.

"Shit." Jason hisses, stalling inside of you for a split second. "Keep doing that." Jason picks up his thrusts, quicker and harder this time.

"Jason." Your voice is louder this time, more desperate, your nails digging in deeper. You feel dizzy under him while Jason feels like he's bursting into flames.

"Come on, babe. Cum for me." Jason urges you and he's about to come undone.

"Jay!" You scream out, feeling the rubber band finally snap in your stomach as you shake against him. Your eyes roll into the back of your head and Jason pumps harder and faster into you.

"Fuck." Jason groans, feeling his own rubber band finally snap as he stalls inside of you, the two of you riding out your orgasms together.

Jason rests his forehead against yours with a hearing chest. You open your eyes and Jason's skin is glistening with a sheer layer of sweat and you think he's never looked prettier. You put a hand on his cheek and Jason opens his eyes. They're completely lust-blown and love drunk. Your lips are kiss-blown and you’re daunting the laziest but warmest smile Jason’s ever seen and Jason thinks you look beautiful.

Jason turns his head, kissing the palm of your hand before he rolls off of you, laying beside you. He gets rid of the condom in the trash can beside his bed before looking back at you. Your chest is still heaving but you look happy. Content. And you look back at him, and he looks happy, too.

"Well, that was fun." You let out a soft laugh.

"Have to do this more often." Jason gives you a toothy grin.

"I'm definitely not opposed." You lean over, poking the purple bruise you left him.

Jason's brows shoot up and he kind of thought this would be a one-time thing. "You fucking with me?" Jason asks.

"Nope." You laugh. "Completely serious. Like I said, you needed to get laid." You tease him and a part of you thought it might be a little awkward after because friends don't do that. But, nothing about this feels awkward. It feels, somehow, so normal.

"Fuck you!" Jason's laugh fills the entire room and you can't help the way you beam with the sound.

"I just did." You let out a laugh and there's a prideful smile at your lips. Jason almost grabs you and pulls you for another kiss.

"Round two?" Jason raises.

"Okay, Energizer Bunny, not letting you get too lucky. Fuck knows your ego doesn't need it."

"It definitely does." Jason gives you a fake pout.

You want to kiss the fake pout off his face. "Shtihead." You roll your eyes with a smile that might be permanently glued to your face.

"Babe." There's a softness to the way he says it this time.

You shake your head, turning away from him and leaning over the bed to grab your clothes. Jason watches you as you get dressed, not facing him. He gets a sight of a few more scars across your back, up near your shoulders. He sees these five scars in lines by your shoulders and he knows. He hates that piece of shit more than he hates anyone.

"You staring, Jay?" You ask, not liking Jason being silent.

"He do that, too?" Jason asks and you look over your shoulder at him before picking up his shirt from the floor.

"Mhm." You hums, tossing his shirt over your head.

There is nothing in this world Jason won't do to make sure that never happens again. He is pissed. Furious. Almost wishes he would have let you kill him. Just almost. You’re one of the most incredible people he's ever met. You didn't deserve that shit. You don't deserve those scars and the pain you go through. It's not fair. You deserve better.

"I'm fucking serious, anyone tries any shit with you, they're gonna deal with me." Jason's jaw is clenched and he swears it. No one ever lays a hand on you again.

You grab his shorts, turning back to face him and you’ve never seen that look on his face before. But something about it, brings you comfort. Your mom is the only one who's ever looked out for you like that but that was your mom. That was her job. This is not Jason's and he'll do it anyway.

Jason gains a soft smile looking at you in his shirt. He could get used to that.

You climb back on the bed, resting on your knees as you hand him his shorts. "Same to you, ya know?"

"I don't think I need your help, babe." Jason chuckles, sitting up.

You think it's not about whether he needs the help or not but rather, about knowing someone would do it anyway. And you would, it's not a lie. He's Robin and that's awesome, it's cool, and he's good at it. But he's also Jason Todd. And anyone that hurts him, is gonna have a hell of a bad day when you find out.

"Mhm, I know. But I mean it anyway. You being Robin is great and all, but if someone tries to hurt you as Jason Todd," You poke his chest gently. "They'll have to go through me."

Jason lets out a soft laugh and he can handle himself. But, he also knows you’re serious. He'd protect you from anything and everything and you would do the same for him. No one has ever looked out of him like that. Ever. Not until Bruce anyway. It's always just been him and while he never wants you to do that or expect that of you, his heart warms and he adores you for it.

"And I will melt their faces off." You grin widely at him, flashing your hands as they glow green and Jason lets out a booming laugh.

"How do you do that?" Jason asks, jerking his head up. "I mean, so easily."

You shrug. "I dunno, Dick asked that, too. I can just do it." You open and close your palms, the glowing going in and out with the movement. "Think about it and it happens."

"That's kind of sick." Jason offers you a grin. "Does it hurt?"

"Nope, just warm. I showed Gar, want me to show you?" You offer with ease. Jason's never really asked about your powers. Jus the combat clairvoyance. You got the idea that Jason isn't a fan of the powers thing. You get it, you definitely aren't either. But he doesn't seem bothered now.

"You gonna melt my face off?" Jason quips and he's a bit unsure of it. Rachel tried to kill him.

"Of course not." You chortle. "Who would I have to look at if I melted you?" The sarcasm fills your voice as your eyes widen.

Jason lets out a nervous chuckle, red creeping onto his cheeks. "Alright, show me."

You let your right hand glow, feeling your palm grow warm. You make a fist, making sure your entire palm is covered by your fingers before you rest your fist, fingers against his skin, to his chest. The spot right above Jason's heart grows warm with the touch. It doesn't hurt or burn or even tingle. It's just a warm like a heating pad. There's something incredible about it and the control you have over it. Jason will never fully get the powers thing but this is something he does find interesting and cool. You didn't get the whole cape thing until Jason told you about it, he's wondering if this is what that was like for you.

"See, that's it feels like it for me even when acid is literally dripping from my hands. It gets warmer but you get the idea." You pull your hand away, the glowing fading.

"That's awesome." Jason gushes. "Got your own set of hand warmers."

"Exactly!" You let out a laugh.

Tonight has been fun. It's some of the most fun Jason's hand in quite a while. Between the bust and being here with you, and everything that followed, it's just fun. And he feels free and alive and so genuinely happy. He finds himself not wanting to go to sleep or get ready for bed but not because he's worried about nightmares, but because he doesn't want this to end. He doesn't want you to go to your room.

"Hey," Jason starts. "You wanna sleep in here?" He asks. "I mean, we turn on one of your movies and shit." Jason catches himself, you're still friends.

"That is a very tempting offer." You smirk at him and you were hoping he'd ask you to stay. "Might as well." You shrug before getting off the bed. "I'll be back. Turn on Tangled, Disney Plus."

"You're making me watch a Disney movie after that?" Jason chortles as he gets up to get dressed.

"Yeah, I'm in the mood to watch the lantern scene." You holds your up with confidence.

"I have no idea what that means." Jason shrugs, turning to face you once his shorts are on.

"It's the way Flynn looks at Rapunzel. And then what happens after." You give him a pout and he almost laughs because you’re so serious about it. It's the cutest thing in the world.

"Oh, so it's that serious?" There's sarcasm in his voice but he's still smiling gently at you.

"Jason, she was his new dream, you don't understand." You vibrate as laughter rip through you.

"I still have no fucking idea what that means." Jason laughs with you, looking to the floor and back to you. He wants to keep it going because the way you’re talking about this makes him fall harder for you.

"You'll see. I promise, it's great."

"You've said that about every movie you've made me watch."

"And I've been right about all of them."

"Yeah, okay." Jason lets out a fake huff before he sits back on the bed, reaching for his remote. "Hurry up then or I'll start it without you." Your eyes narrow at him and you open your mouth as Jason tries to beat you to punch. "Shithead."

"Babe." You say his line at the same time he says yours.

"Okay." A chortle escapes his lips. "You're proud of yourself for that one, huh?"

"A little yeah." You give him a cheeky smile, turning on your heels. "Do not," You turn around as you get to the door. "Start without me." You point a finger at him before darting out of the room before Jason can say anything else.

While Jason waits for you, he sits back on his bed, getting comfortable with the movie paused. And all he can think about is how much he likes you. His head swims with every detail about you and he doesn’t even notice the corners of his mouth perking up into an adoring smile. And he thinks about how maybe the manor did feel a little lonely when Bruce would leave him alone but he swears tonight, it doesn’t.

He’s spent a lot of his life feeling lonely. Sure, some of that he brought on himself with pushing everyone as far away from him as he possibly could. But, some of that was just his circumstances. And he’s thinking, just this small part of him, thinks maybe life isn’t supposed to feel lonely. It’s just the only thing he’s ever known. But, he doesn’t feel lonely when he’s with you.

When you come back a few minutes later, you have your gloves on and Jason lets himself smile. He's glad they work, he wasn't sure if they would or not. But clearly, they do. And it's kind of like you have a part of him when you sleep. Not really but kind of. It was his idea. Using the same fibers in his cape for the gloves. It's his thing. You slide into bed with him, resting your head on his now-clothed chest.

"You stole my shirt." Jason says as he slides his arm around you and he thinks you fit perfectly in this spot.

"You have plenty." You state, watching the opening scene with Mother Gothel.

"Oh, so you're gonna steal my clothes now?" Jason chortles as he moves his head to get a look at your face.

"Comfy." You hum against him before looking up at him. You can't tell, but he's never looked at you this way before. His eyes are soft, lacking of any devious plans or intentions. They're just soft and gentle, completely adoring of you. "Do you mind?" You ask and for a second, you worry his does.

He would never mind. And it looks better on you anyway. "No." Jason's voice is soft this time and butterflies explode through your blood. Maybe liking him isn't the right word.

"Good." You snuggle closer to him, while Jason slides his hand under your shirt, rubbing your back gently.

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Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @anthemabby // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover // @captainmarvels-blog

#jason todd x reader #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd smut #titans fanfic #titans fanfiction #petrichor

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brightm8 · 6 days ago

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(Some spoilers for Arcane Season 2)

Ok so I've been developing a bit of a theory surrounding the lore of League of Legends and Arcane, and at first I was pretty invested in it but it's getting to the point now where I'm getting upset.

The thing is, Riot wants to take the incredible lore from Arcane and combine it with the fragmented but still cool lore from the games, mainly League of Legends, but also Wild Rift and Legends of Runeterra. And there's a really straightforward way to do this.

All of the characters in League of Legends are legends. These are the heroes and monsters that appear in the stories that inhabitants of Runeterra tell each other. Darius' conquests are described in detail across Ionia and Noxus. Azir's name forms the foundations of Shuriman history books. Fiora is idolized, Bard is worshiped. Mothers tell their children of Fiddlesticks to keep them from sneaking out at night, and their spouses of Evelynn for the same reason.

I tried to look for exceptions to this pattern, but each time I thought I was onto something, the wiki went out of its way to prove their status as a legend. Quinn, for instance:

[Text: She and her legendary eagle, Valor]

Or Gragus:

[Text: he is legendary for the brawls he starts]

Kog'maw, Graves, and Twisted Fate were the closest I could find to "dudes minding their own business," so you can make of that what you will. But I remain convinced that the characters incorporated into the game League of Legends must, clearly, be Legends.

Thus, all that fragmented lore about these characters we gather from the wiki, and the voicelines, and the character models and skins, is simply the version of these characters that people tell each other about. Everyone knows Vi as the punchy, girly enforcer with hot pink hair and an attitude. The other enforcers can't get enough of her gutsy stories about invading Zaun. So that's the version we see. We see the rumors, the tales, and the myths.

Meanwhile, I perceive the longer form media like Arcane (and likely the novel Ruination, too, but I haven't read it yet) to be a more accurate retelling of what actually happened to these people. Vi's hair isn't that bubblegum pink everyone says it is; it's closer to red than anything. Jinx is truly lonely, Heimerdinger wise, and Singed... well... "sane" may be too strong a word.

But the point is, the versions of these characters from the games aren't any less canon, because the stories about them, around which these perceptions are formed, are just as integrated into the world of Runeterra as the people themselves.

We see this with Janna, whose legends line the walls of Zaun's alleyways. The iconography of her, portrayed in Arcane, is faithful to her character in game. In game, we play as the wind goddess who Zaunites say swept away the toxic Gray, and whose statues are still maintained and worshiped. But for all we know, there never really was a real Janna. For all we know, she was a myth passed down and molded for generations.

And this is beautiful. And it very conveniently explains why these characters are all fighting each other on some kind of oddly shaped battlefield. It's the equivalent of two 8-year-olds with action figures, using their imaginations with the characters they know from fairytales and horror stories. And the real people that these characters are modeled after could just.. sit there and watch.

So this is where I get a little upset. Because Riot, I believe, is attempting to combine the lores of Arcane, League of Legends, Legends of Runeterra, etc. using some kind of Multiverse theory. And I couldn't tolerate that. I'm done with multiverses. I'm only tolerating the Spider-verse because it's well-written and I want them to take their time. But manufacturing some magical reason that there are two Caitlyns, one who is deep and tragic and one who is flat and haughty, will only pit these versions of the characters against each other. And ALL they need to do to avoid this is confirm that the version of Caitlyn we play as in League of Legends is the person that Piltover children perceive her to be.

Anyway, this scares me because, as of now, only three episodes of Arcane season two have been released, and there is a real threat that they will use the "Arcane" to explain some kind of multiverse theory. Jayce, for example (Spoilers!!) saw infinite versions of himself when he touched the big weird orb. If my guess is correct, I still trust the writers to handle this "wild runes interact with other dimensions" premise properly, because they are god-like (legendary, even). But it doesn't bode well for the rest of the lore once that doorway has been opened.

But I mean. No matter what, I love to play the game and hear these characters interact and feel like I'm not just hearing their voice, but also the voices of thousands and millions of Runeterran people each telling their stories through their cherished Legends.

#league of legends #league of legends lore #arcane #vi arcane #legends of runeterra #arcane theory #arcane season 2 spoilers #jinx arcane

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pauking5 · 6 months ago

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Addicting Taste Chapter 10

Pairing: Enishi Yukishiro x female reader oc

Genre: strangers to lovers, mutual pining, found love, fluff, spice, a lot of teasing, angst

Word count: 45.1k

TW: panic attack, mentions of anxiety, unhinged violence, some gore, mentions of heights, a lot of cursing

A/N: I know this one was long overdue but she's here for you in all her glory and pain. She's been a constant work in progress for the past five months and it's all going downhill from now, so buckle up. I hope it's good and not a bore to go through considering she's long as hell but I thought you deserved the little extra treat for waiting so long. Lastly, don't hate me but this one's loaded emotionally. I had a few cries but more from editing it so many times that my eyes gave out. Chapter 11 is already in the works but she's gonna take a while. Not too long though *wink*. Hope you missed these three wimps as much as I have. Their team dynamic means the world to me. Sidenote: we are heading slowly to the rurouni kenshin the final verse soooon ;) Can't wait for you to read all that's coming. So, enjoy lovelies. Please send some sign of life through after you read so I know I didn't go off the fucking rails yet. Kisses and prayers :')

Playlist: espresso - sabrina carpenter, favorite - isabel larosa, queen - loren gray, lilili yabbay - seventeen, the boy is mine - ariana grande, training season - dua lipa, been like this - doja cat, tears in the club - fka twigs, i think i'm in love - kat dahlia, wicked game - ursine vulpine ft annaca, broken - seether ft amy lee, don't deserve you - plumb, words - skylar grey, these walls - dua lipa, hearts - jessie ware, lonely together - sofia karlberg, borderline - tove lo, theory of light - eternal eclipse, 5sos - teeth, within temptation - wireless, rescue my heart - liz longley, and so it begins - klergy

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Asshole. Idiot. Rash, unpredictable, self-absorbed jerk.

You punched your pillow hard with every new word popping into your head that described the way Enishi acted moments ago at the breakfast table. There were a whole lot of insults and even more curse words running less and less wonderful with the growing upscale of your anger at the gray-haired man, but several questions popped in over them.

What the fuck happened to him?

I know he's a Gemini and two-faced behaviour is hard to hold back from, especially when you're being an unreasonable dick unable to interact with people. But this bipolar back and forth is too much, even for him. He's like a fucking riddle, so hard to decipher, figure out and understand, especially when all he does is close himself in like that, pushing people away like they're the plague.

He's jealous of something? Someone? Then just say that. Just say anything about your feelings so that I don't have to keep being the one assuming and wondering where you stand. Human beings like communication a lot, maybe he should try it sometimes. Sometimes soon before I put my foot through his face and carve some really nice indents under that jaw-

Jerk. Handsome, good-looking, impetuous little shit.

"UGH I WANT TO PUNCH HIM SO BAD!" you screamed into your pillow for the tenth time this morning. Koru just looked at you like you've grown a second head, choosing to retreat away to the safety of the other side of the bed.

"Damn, so you really are down bad for him."

Your head snapped to your door seeing the blonde leaning on the door frame, arms crossed over his chest and amusement ever-present on his face. He was enjoying your misery and these fucking pre-school games a little too much for his wellbeing. You spared him a look that you weren't in the mood for teasing then went back to digging a hole in your pillow, kinda hoping it would turn into a real one if you hit it harder from a different angle.

He walked over to your bed and sat on the edge just as you plunged your head deeper with a fresh wave of embarrassment hitting you like a truck.

"Is it that obvious?" your voice came out muffled.

At first, he chuckled lowly to himself at your conflicted appearance. Taking another look at you, he decided that he could push your buttons just a little more. "Want me to lie to you?"

Lifting your head briefly, you narrowed your eyes at him ready to smack him to the end of the planet in the hopes he would fall off into a black hole or something. But then you thought about it again and nodded your head, hoping he would come with some fresh new insight. Though you regretted it as soon as he opened his mouth.

"It's not obvious at all. Not like you're drooling over him all the time, chasing looks at him when he's not looking and sizing him up with your eyes for some fashion plans to revamp his really outdated and boring style," he counted on his fingers hitting every single point like he put his hand in your head pulling out your very own thoughts.

Not sure what you were expecting but it wasn't... this. If the hills weren't so far away, you would've happily ran up the slopes to the highest peak and walked off straight into the abyss of the valleys below by now, hopefully eating some grass on the way and dying. All because it really was that obvious to everyone else but not to him. That says a lot considering he's the one that goes around analyzing people and noticing stuff like a detector before you even know what goes on.

"Kill me now," you whined, crashing back into the pillow with a fake sob that sounded more like a mewl that even the feline next to you wouldn't be able to reproduce.

"Look, what he said back there was rash and a teeny tiny bit stupid," he started with a finger up in the air, but once you shot him a murderous look he recalculated his words and dropped it back down. "Okay, maybe extremely stupid. But give him the benefit of the doubt."

"Benefit of the doubt?" you sat up on the bed, appalled at what you were hearing. "You slept together in the same bed for one night and now you're suddenly not in a deathly competition to win my heart or something like that anymore?"

"Haha, I have no idea what you're talking about," he scratched the back of his neck, throwing his eyes around the room as if it wasn't identical to his own.

"I may be oblivious most of the time but I can read bullshit when I see it," you said sharp and clear. The authority made his eyes dart back to you instantly, his adam's apple bobbing nervously in his throat before he sighed loudly, shoulders dropping in defeat.

"Before you rip my head off," he reached out and put Koru between you as leverage so you wouldn't lash out on him, "just know he agreed to it too. He seemed pretty confident he could just kick me out of here if he won you over."

Motherfucker.

Was that all I was to him? Something to own? Just another sword to be displayed like a trophy in his office?

Having your suspicions confirmed that this shit was actually happening, with extra details too, was definitely not on your bingo card. He went too far. Actually, too far wasn't even fully describing how dumb this game he took part in was. You expected some shit like this from Cho because the cogs in his brain didn't always turn at a normal speed or to an intellectual degree higher than dolphins. No offense to dolphins, I adore them. But you did not expect this at all from him. Not after everything you've already been through. After opening up and being real with each other for him to throw it all on a fucking bet.

If this was his way of showing interest in you, he was doing it all wrong and backwards. Instead of winning you over, this would make him lose you. Completely.

Then it hit you. Your revenge plan could use a few adjustments. It was time you became this man's headache, raging when he least expected it, like an ever present reminder not to fuck with the female species.

Make that two men actually.

You turned to the blonde with a grin on your face stretching wider and much more creepier than your usual smile, telling him you were up to no good. And when you were up to no good, chaos ensued faster than a flint could light a fire.

It was time to play dirty. It was time to take over possessive misogyny with some pure, raw and unleashed female rage, plus some fun mind games because apparently these two fuckers loved them more than anything in the world. Unfortunately for him, but happily for you, the blonde sitting on your bed looking rather confused at your sudden change in behaviour will be the first to get a taste of it.

"What if you won me over?" you asked, physically batting your eyes at him, mentally rubbing your hands like a fly plotting to raise hell.

All he did was blink repeatedly, trying to process that those words actually left your mouth willingly. He must have thought someone put a hex on you or you were sick since he placed his hand on your forehead before you slapped it off, nearly shoving him off the bed.

"Say what again?" he asked cluelessly, tilting his head to the side.

I will repeat myself solely for the sake of my own sanity.

"Exactly what you heard," you clapped your hands together, meaning business. His eyes darted to your enclosed hands, narrowing in suspiciously as he listened in more attentively. "What if we make it seem as though you did win me over?"

"To make him jealous?" he pondered your words for a moment as you nodded eagerly. Seems like he wasn't that hopeless after all.

The way your eyes sparkled up at him told him two things - you really wanted to make mophead jealous for reasons he was able to see clearly on your face like the light of day, and the fact that he could use this to his advantage. Somewhere in this temporary play pretend, he could actually win you over and make you forget about him. It was a win-win situation either way. He was just surprised that you had it in you to join the game like that.

He took a while to gather his thoughts rendering you a little uneasy. Something told you that your motives weren't solid enough for him to accept the proposal. That he needed something more to cement it. So you threw in another side to the deal. One that was sure to get him going before you reeled back on your own plan.

"Help me," you took his hand in yours, stroking the back of it softly to appeal to his ego, "and I will grant you a wish."

"Can I wish for anything-"

"If it's something dirty-minded, freaky or horribly disturbing, your balls," you pointed at the crack of his pants, trailing your eyes up to meet his, "will be Koru's to play with."

Gulping and wide-eyed at your words, he looked down at the ball of black fur nuzzling his thigh lovingly then turned back to you, seeing absolutely no difference between your auras. Turns out adorable could also be lethal if touched wrong.

"Deal," he lifted a hand to you, tilting his head to the side with his usual goofy smile back on his face.

"Good," you shook hands, sealing the deal with your pinkies and a stamp. Just like old times.

His hand lingered on yours a bit more, long pinky and bigger thumb gripping your smaller ones gently, a lot more gentler than before. The rough boy he used to be, making empty promises he couldn't keep and acting like the world owed him everything was still there, but the mature man, a lot more sure of himself going after what he wanted was the one holding your hand now smiling warmly back at you. He did change.

Your smile slowly grew dim and shy as his golden eyes peered back at you, light and playful, enveloping you in his gaze, secretly swapping your fingers for your whole hand, sitting in a comforting hold in his bigger one. You realized he was right that night he pulled you on top of him, pressing your hand against his heart and yours, both beating almost in sync. He was still someone who took up space in your heart. Maybe not a whole half of it, but a part that was big enough to make you look at him too, as a man.

You were looking now and it would be one of the biggest lies you've ever told yourself to say that it didn't send your heart racing. There were unspoken feelings swarming in your chest even after all these years, not quite as strong but it was enough that they came back to life now.

Shaking yourself out of it, your hand fell from his large one back into the safety of your lap. Koru shimmied her way in between you, looking for head rubs and you obliged with a smile, focusing on her. Cho's hands joined in your peripheral vision, petting down the fur on her back. The feline started purring loudly, letting you know she was enjoying the double attention a bunch as you held back a chuckle.

Blondie wasn't off the hook yet. Your plan was to make both of them lose their heads and this was just one small part of it. In trying to pretend with Cho you would get Enishi jealous enough to hopefully talk to you about why he was acting like the douchebag of the century and maybe about his feelings towards you. He reacted more than he spoke, so this was your only shot at luring him out enough for him to act on it.

You would also take the blonde where he least expects it to make up for the constant teasing, though you were still considering if you were swerving towards gentle or wicked payback with him. Not so sure yet, but it was all in due time.

Either way, it was a win situation for you and a loss for them for behaving like animals in heat, treating you like a mere prize to be possessed.

They say you can see the worst in someone if you push them to the edge of the cliff. That's exactly what you were planning to do to them. Slow, hard and tense. Just the way they liked it.

You want to play power games, boys?

I will bring the fucking revolution to you.

Just you wait.

Twenty-four hours.

That's all you gave them to prepare for what they would never see coming.

You let them simmer, avoiding all contact with them. No cooking, no training and no sight of you around for the rest of the previous day. They went to each their own as you spent the day plotting your retaliation bit by bit, second by second, breath by breath.

They were on your land now, weaponless, rash and with a strong ballsy will to conquer it. Too bad they won't even reach the gates of your palace before you opened fire this time. Initiating phase one.

Getting out of bed, you headed for the heap of clothes stashed in your wardrobe and looked through it, smiling devilishly as you pulled out your secret weapon - a red and black corset mix of lace and satin mimicking a tank top. The red lace ran strident crimson against the layered black satin lines stitched overtop on the sides, from the hem all the way to the straps, tight as hell but hot on your upper body. A little fun project you let your hands wander over from scraps and basics you grabbed during your visit at the textile market.

Pairing it with black leather pants and a pair of flat combat boots, you went to the full-body mirror and took a good look. The outfit hugged your curves better than anything you've ever worn before, putting on display everything you wanted. Your hair hung in a luscious ponytail, high enough to whirl it once and catch someone around the throat with it. Perfect.

Time to get the wild hunt running.

Heading to the kitchen, your strides echoed in the hallway more sure of yourself than you've ever been. You grabbed a quick breakfast and sauntered outside with your humble companion, the jian sword with a red tassel. She's been sleeping in your room more than hanging back in its place on the walls in Enishi's office since you started bonding after she smacked your wrists multiple times. She left your skin painfully bruised but she gave you good lessons to learn from.

Taking to the spot in the middle of the garden, you sat in the patch warmed by the sun that still shone bright this late in the winter, just taking the light in and relaxing every knot in your shoulders. This is so nice. You held your palm out to it soaking the warmth in with closed eyes. Then you started training, waiting for the prey to come to you.

It wasn't long until the one of the felines caught your scent, coming to circle the perimeter in search of you.

The blonde hyena approached first, lurking by the kitchen window for a cup of coffee. Still in a slumber state, he paid no attention to the rest of the world or to you training outside, just a glance away, and went about his morning routine. He brewed his coffee the way he liked it, black with a lot of sugar in it and the tiniest drop of milk and stirred it well, taking in the smell of the steamed roasted beans that woke him a little. He lifted it to his lips just as he turned around to the kitchen window, coffee cup stilling mid-air before he even took a sip.

There you were - clad in red and black, hair swinging in sync with the red tassel on your sword, practicing what looked like advanced sword techniques. Leaning back on the marble island behind him, he took a sip of his coffee simply watching you, lips sobering up into a grin.

You moved about with the grace of a deadly cobra, a total contrast to the quiet small snake you used to be. A sense of pride filled him as he recalled how you used to doubt your every step, calculating them over and over again every mission you went on. Now, you stepped with confidence knowing exactly where your strengths laid, training with a weapon that was foreign to you entirely but knowing exactly where you wanted your blade to hit and how you wanted it to hurt. The lost, confused girl that tingled his senses years ago, was now a strong woman his heart longed for even harder.

His princess. It was part of the reason he called you that - the fact that you were still so committed to do good by vengeance in hopes it would help someone live in peace if you got rid of some of the scums crawling the earth like kings. And to tease you. Although, there was one more reason for it and one day, he'd tell you why but it wasn't time yet. Soon enough.

Before he knew it, he was on his way to the office, checking to see it was empty of a certain silver fox he despised with every single bone in his body, before he went in and grabbed the twin katanas he spotted a few nights ago. He rolled them around to get a feel of their weight. They weren't his twin katanas that got broken in a fight long ago, these ones much heavier and dull, but they would do for now.

You were taking a break on the ground, stretching your limbs around to release some tension when the blonde joined you. Confused at why he was carrying a pair of katanas with him and the fact that he wore preppy clothes, much more appropriate for training than waltzing around, his hair tied up in a small up-do peeking over his head like a pineapple, you threw him a look.

"Let's train together," he simply said, throwing you that cheeky smile of his.

One bites the bait.

Without a word, you got up dusting off the dirt and grass from your pants and got in position. He followed, twirling around the swords to show off at which you rolled your eyes, then put his right arm forward and his left backwards and you grinned, recognizing his point of combat hasn't changed - he used one sword for attacking and the other for defending, both probably stolen from Enishi's stash.

"Nice toys you got there," you nodded at the swords.

"Why thank you! I got them from your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," you gritted out, circling him around the sunlit path.

He lifted the sword in his right hand to eye level, tracing the blade down with the pads of his fingers as if to intimidate you or something. "You know, he does seem to act like that most of the time."

"What?" you stilled, lowering your sword.

What the fuck is he on about?

Pleased that his remark made you drop your guard, he turned his blade to catch a glint of the sun that temporarily blinded you before he charged towards you opening the sparring session with his right katana coming for a slash across. Cunty move. You defended with your jian, catching the rough blade with the edge of your own, pushing the attack back before he could send the other one towards you.

He stumbled behind to catch his footing and you couldn't help a small smile from dancing on your lips. He seemed to forget those weren't his katanas, way too unbalanced since they haven't been used probably ever for anything other than décor on Enishi's walls. Most of them were blunt, stolen or brand new, but none of them saw the actual battle beside his and your jian. They were different from his own by a lot of degrees, blades way too wide turning the weight heavier. As a result, he grappled with keeping them balanced as they constantly fell out of his grip. But being the renowned sword thief that he is, he solved that problem rather quickly and accommodated to them.

Giving them another swirl, his whole body turned in a spin that lifted the leaves off the ground. Then he came at you again more sure of himself this time to send a faster diagonal slash to your side that you barely avoided. You jumped backwards just as the other katana came down to strike you instead colliding harshly with your sword, pushing against it as he tried to shove you off your feet but you stood your ground.

"Why are you holding back, princess?" he sneered, teasing you without an ounce of strain in his voice. His constant pleasure pushed you to the brink of impatience.

"I don't want to skewer you just yet, blondie," you replied, flashing him a cocky smile before you rolled forwards in a tumble, letting his sword fall into the grass, getting stuck in a small muddy patch.

Before he was fully facing you, you threw your double-edged blade at him with precision. The speed of your attack had him throw both his katanas up in defense at every hit you delivered, diverting them left and right. Where you hit your blade high into his right, you kicked the other low with your foot, keeping the same drill going as you shoved him all the way into the open tree line at the back of the garden.

Another push from you had his back pressed against an old oak tree. He barely slid out of your range of attack just before your blade could meet his neck, getting stuck in the raunchy tree bark. While you struggled with getting it out, he disappeared and hid among the dense tree line, making himself completely invisible to you.

Plucking your sword out, you advanced through the half-barren path, dry leaves crunching under the pressure of your boots. You came to a small clearing checking for any spots he could be taking cover in then stopped. You'll find him when he wants to be found. Closing your eyes, you focused all your senses into action, listening for any noise that could pinpoint his location. You knew he was watching you from somewhere waiting for you to give up your searching and head back, so all you had to do was sit there playing dumb to lure him out.

A loud icy gust of wind blew in, rustling up the branches and a neatly stacked pile of leaves in a corner to your left. Disregarding it, you turned to the opposite side knowing that was his cue to charge at you. You moved to the left just as a sharp whoosh echoed by the tip of your ear, throwing your sword up to meet his attack blade. He brought down his other one swiftly sending you into a tree. You grunted as your back crashed with the bark, praying the rough edges didn't pull the stitch work on your top. One thread loose and I will end him in the name of fashion.

He advanced to you again looking to throw you off your feet with a swing, moves threading to get an opening somewhere that you weren't guarding well. If he thought you would go down easy, he sure was as dumb as a rock. You ducked out of the way, running towards one of the sturdier-looking trees and using the momentum from the dash, you jumped onto the bark pushing with the sole of your foot at the same time you swung your sword overhead, coming down onto him from above. A little trick stolen from Enishi. Since your aerial needed more work he caught your strike with both katanas tossing you to the side, back on the patch of open grass in the garden. You landed on the pad of your knee, sword balanced behind you to keep you from toppling over.

Aerial class with Enishi is officially suspended. He's lucky I don't pay for that. He'd have amazing reviews for sure.

"Someone's feisty today," he sung walking over to you, one katana swung over his shoulder nonchalantly like he didn't just haul you over like ten meters over.

"You haven't seen me feisty yet," you retorted, up and heading for his throat.

This time, you worked with a combination of slashes, using your smaller form and improved stamina to throw him off balance and prove a point. It worked, seen as he kept stumbling over his steps unable to keep up with you, but only for a while.

You were faster than him, much faster than he would've liked to admit without letting it affect his own pride. But he had the extra experience on the field. When your blade went to dig into his side, he pushed it away almost instantly, like he expected it, whirling around you. Your sword was half-way lifted up, ready to turn around and search for him, when a katana flew in your line of sight under your chin stopping just a few inches short of slicing your neck, the other following suit around your waist.

"Gotcha, princess," he whispered in your ear, stepping closer behind you.

He had you completely caged in his hold. The blades didn't sit too close to do any damage, but the fact that he pressed to you firmly from behind was enough to make your insides twist with flurries of all kind.

You could sense his amused smirk from the way his breaths fanned the back of your neck, which was already burning hot with effort, hair on your nape raising at the cool air and his breath. He was ready to throw you another remark when you caught him by surprise.

"Teach me," you breathed out, trying to steady your racing heart from giving anything away. "Teach me how to fight with two swords."

He chuckled under his breath, entertained by the idea. One of the blades lowered down, letting your middle free but your feet stayed locked in place, waiting for him to move the other away. Instead of that he took one more step taking him even closer to you and tilted your chin upwards with the hilt of one of the katanas. You shuddered at the sudden contact with the cold edge of the blade, squeezing your eyes shut to control the erratic beating of your heart.

"I can show you a few tricks," he spoke next to your ear low and deeper than his tone sounded on the usual, sending weird chills down your spine, then moved away from you just as a sigh of relief escaped you.

You put your sword down in the grass as he motioned for you to come closer to him. He placed the heavier katana in your right hand, knowing that was your main combat hand, and the slightly leaner one in your left. You tested them in a few swings, finding it difficult to push them forwards in a slash without dropping them. Those things are heavyweights. How the hell did he even spar with these? His twin katanas were a lot more lighter on hold than these.

Stepping behind you, he pulled your arms upwards horizontally so they sat parallel to each other, sliding his hands over your inner biceps all the way to your forearms. His warm fingers padded over your skin with electricity sparks in his dive down to lock his palms on your wrists, covering them completely. If he wanted to he could just snap them broken with one move.

Since he was taller and towered over you, you were pressed flush against his torso, the top of your head reaching just below his jaw. You could headbutt him and crack his jaw if you wanted to.

He moved you around in the basic one-sword positions to accommodate the feel of the blades in your hand. "You need to find balance and patience with them."

Lifting your leading arm for a practice slash to the side, you focused on the way he led the blade from the top all the way to the ground in all but one breath, followed by your rear with force pressing on your wrist as if you defended an incoming enemy blow, bending your arm diagonally with his own, moving as one.

His forearms stretched over yours entirely to better control the practice swings since you struggled to hold them by yourself, not used to their exertion on your muscles. You watched the ramifications of muscles on his arm move together in sync, willing yourself to focus on the blade in your hand rather than the way he enveloped your whole form.

"Treat them like they're your own hand extensions," he instructed, laying both of them over each other in a front cross for defense. The motion brought your bodies closer, your back almost fully in his chest.

Your head turned to the side to find his own already angled towards you, light brown eyes searching yours for something. He was so close, holding you in an embrace that felt dangerous but safe, awfully resembling those ivory statues of fallen angels around cemeteries that curled their wings inwards as if to protect something. You were aware that being this close to him was dancing on delicate grounds, both for yourself and for him. It wasn't good. Whatever this was it couldn't happen, thundered your mind. Or it could, argued your heart. I'm not doing that charade ever again, a thought that echoed just how torn you were. You loved that charade, yelled back a younger version of you that would pray at the moon for him to look at you like this.

Avoiding his eyes took a lot of willpower, but you managed to turn your head away from him looking for a distraction. Anything that could break you out of the trance he put you under again that spurred something way too fervent and filthy in your belly, before you said or did something stupid that you would regret.

Perusing the juniper grass around the garden, you let your eyes run free to any place that looked more interesting as if you haven't been in that garden a thousand times before. They went all the way to the outdoor table preoccupied with the sheet of material thrown over to protect it from rain when movement caught your eye in the alabaster kitchen windows. In a fraction of a second, your eyes flew there and stayed fixed inside, heart getting stuck in your throat.

He was there.

Watching. Steeling in the silence of the kitchen with his arms crossed over his broad chest, looking right at you. Not at the man behind you or the way he was holding you so dangerously close or the way he breathed the same air as you. At you.

He was yards away. Not in front of you or next to you. Yet the intensity of his stare alone made you draw in a broken breath, heart pounding unsteady in your chest with every beat that passed with him still sitting there, unmoving, gaze unwavering from you in the slightest. Goosebumps littered your whole skin, rushing from your nape down to your lower spine in ardent shudders, forgetting all about the man behind you whose arms still held yours in a firm grip.

A clenched jaw. For a good moment that was the only reaction you got from him. Then he did something completely odd - he smirked at you. A knowing, full, almost pleased corner of his lips tilting up in a promise of mischief and disaster kind of smirk. Of all possible reactions you expected, a fucking smirk like that one was not it.

You blinked once and just like that he was gone, probably aware of just what that insufferable smirk left in its wake because it made something pulse deep down inside of you, so primal and fiery like it sat dormant for an entire lifetime, waiting to set alight and rage only for him. Something that came alive every time those dark eyes were on you. A feeling that you loved and hated with your entire being.

Both of them took the bait, I guess.

But what the fuck was that?

The cold evening rolled around sooner than you expected it to, without any other contact with the male species, surprisingly. You went to the kitchen, cooking up some dinner for yourself and Koru, letting your thoughts whirl with the ingredients you stirred mindlessly in the pot.

You couldn't take your mind off the way your taunts were received today. For one, Cho reacted exactly the way you wanted him to, running to your side absolutely ecstatic to join you in training. Getting so caught up in practicing sword wielding with him however, was a small unplanned detail that made your heart flutter. It wasn't part of the plan but then again, does anything under the roof of this house ever go according to plan?

On that note, Enishi's reaction was something you were unprepared for at all. Lurking in the shadows like a ghost stalking his victims, he just threw you that smirk as if he knew what your intentions were, where your plan was going. It gave you the eebie-jeebies and not in a good way. You stared at your reflection in the kitchen window, thinking so intently about how he stood in the same place as you that his stare flashed in front of you again like it was happening right now, making shivers cross your body on all sides. You dropped the spoon in your hand with a loud clatter that brought you back from your eerie vision, mumbling curses as you scrambled to get it out of the pot before it sank completely. You got it out with another spoon throwing it in the sink before the heat singed your fingers, then leaned your hands on the counter hanging your head to breathe a sigh of relief.

Jesus Christ, this house seriously needs an exorcism. I need to ask Wu for a frankincense delivery because it's getting too freaky lately.

The door to the kitchen opened and closed behind you, signaling that you had company. Turning around you were met with the blonde, a small smile of content on his face as he approached sheepishly and sat near the stove, a few inches away from you. He loomed over the pot, taking a good whiff of what you were cooking with his eyes closed - sausage and potato stew. His favourite.

Now this was by no means phase two of the plan. You didn't mean for it to happen, but it was the only edible thing you could whisk up with what little you found around the kitchen. A shopping spree into the village was way overdue, since apparently it's only your stomach who is hungry 24/7 on rotation. Definitely not the thirty bulky men lurking around the mansion waiting for food to magically drop out of the sky.

You had a hunch he would catch onto the smell and come running anyway. His eating schedule was as bad as Enishi's - they were either skipping meals to train or eating three meals at once like it was an olympic sport. There was literally no in between. Blondie however has been asking you to cook stuff for him at random times of the day lately, catching a liking to your cooking. Plus, you bonded a lot over food when you first met so it was no surprise he was inhaling the steam from the stew like it was opium smoke or something.

"Can I have a taste?" he asked in a tone so soft you almost cooed.

"It's not done yet," you replied pushing him away from the stove before he plunged his head in, stirring the pot some more.

You caught sight of the way he licked his lips, absolutely bewitched by the simmering food and you gave in. Who were you to deny a hungry tummy? Food tasted better before it was put on a plate anyway.

Leaning behind to get a spoon from the cutlery drawer, you stirred the pot with it and gathered a good spoonful from the side with some of the stew ingredients that looked cooked and some sauce. You blew on it, carefully lifting the still steaming spoon to his mouth with a hand under it in case it spilled over. He dove in and slurped the contents way too fast. This fucking idiot.

"MY TONGUE," he screeched, flailing about like a child, fanning his tongue with his hand as if that helped anything.

I refuse to believe he is the famed Sword Hunter. He belongs in kindergarten.

Some of the leftover sauce dripped down the side of his lips and before you could help yourself, your hand lifted to them, thumb swiping over the plump pink mounds from one corner to the other, tracing their outline as you gathered all the sauce on your finger. Mindlessly, you brought it back with the intent to reach your lips when your thumb was redirected back to his own lips.

You froze in his hold yet again, watching wide-eyed as his tongue slipped out to meticulously lick your thumb clean from bottom to top on each and every side, all while holding your eyes hostage to his honey orbs. Taking an empty gulp of air, you tried to keep your face composed, devoid of any sign that the scene before you that looked like a hallucination from the depths of your mind, affected you in any way. Because it did. You pressed your knees to keep it together, willing your heart to still in your chest and the throb between your legs to chill. This was not the time to get horny. Get your ovaries together, Miyu. You're better than this.

The kitchen door opened again with a crick, prompting you to snatch your hand away from the blonde's hold, stepping away to put some space between you. The feel of his soft lips trailing up and down your finger with his tongue lingered, only making it all worse. Curse men. Then your eyes flew to the door to see the gray-haired man sitting by the frame, face drawn in calm, tranquil disparity, devoid of any emotion, just looking at you with those dark eyes of his.

Damn, he's so emo today. Genuinely concerned, did someone piss in his tea this morning? 'Cause I would've liked to be first.

You were fully aware that he caught you in the act yet again. But why did it bother you so much? Why did it bother you that he wasn't reacting at all? Did he give up on the bet and winning you over? That was hard to tell. Either way it was nothing short of an oddity, seeing him stand there just observing playing some sick and twisted game alone in his head.

Weirded out and confused, you turned back to the simmering pot announcing the stew was almost done. The two walked to the table at the other end of the kitchen, taking a seat on opposite sides. They regarded each other briefly with a scowl, before they both turned to watch you work on the food.

Humming to yourself, you swayed side to side as you stirred the pot, stew nearing its boiling point. It was late evening, but your ponytail still sat high on your head since early morning, not one lump falling loose from it. Your apron sat snug on your waist, letting the red lace on your back be visible on purpose. Let phase two commence then.

The intensity of their stares carved a trail of open caves on your behind, each one digging his own personal hole with unsaid things in a dent of muscle they liked better down your back. You could feel the tension hanging in the air, zapping chills on your nape, but you paid it no mind for your own peace of mind because only god knew the dirt you imagined right now including both of the men at your back.

Enishi watched you, fist tightening under the table more and more with every sway of your ponytail that fell in sync with the sway of your hips. For some reason, that ponytail raised all senses of possessiveness in him. He wanted to pull that hair tie off and throw it into a fucking fire with every other existing band or fabric to tie it up, his only wish to let your hair free from its grasp and watch it cascade down your shoulders, wild and messy, just the way he liked it.

Cho's thoughts echoed the same pictures, though in a gentler, more sensual parallel. The blonde wanted that hair tie off too, thinking of how smooth your hair would feel with his fingers carding through it for hours on end as he drew patterns down your bare back and watched goosebumps rake your form.

That ponytail was their undoing.

Unaware of their thoughts turning as lewd with lust as yours, you focused on the stove. You thanked whatever deity makes you double the food quantities every time you cook because you had just enough stew to split it into three filling bowls.

Fixing the table up with the food and cutlery, you placed Koru's plate with her own chicken mix down by the marble island before you went to sit down at the head of the table, a safe distance from both of them. They waited for you to dig in first before they followed, a silent thanks giving for sharing your food with them. They were far from deserving of it considering how they behaved lately, but you weren't going to turn a hungry stomach away. You knew better than that.

The three of you ate in silence, tension gliding through the air in the kitchen uncomfortably, stabbing your exposed skin like a drifting torrent. Stolen, sneaky glances made their way to you but whenever you turned to catch them they were focused on the food in their bowls. Shaking the rigidness away, you pulled up a tactic to the table - playing with your ponytail.

Sitting back in your chair, you lifted a hand carding through the hair from the top of your makeshift hair tie, where it sat tight, with a languid stroke, falling to the base of it, twirling the ends around your fingers. Both males stilled, looking right at the way you worked around the length, drinking in every swirl of the locks glowing silky and luscious in the soft golden light above you. You had them wrapped around your fingers, their full attention not even on you but entirely on your hair.

The minute you let go of it, going back to eat the rest of your food, they grunted in unison at the loss of their visual stimuli. The sounds had them locking eyes, one pair dark and blazing with murderous intent, the other amused and light in teasing, both fighting each other in a battle with no clear winner.

Another point scored for me.

The rest of dinner was uneventful. You finished up on your food, getting up to walk to the sink and wash up everything. Cho followed right up, grabbing his plate and helping you put stuff back to its place to be done with it faster. You worked quickly with your new helper, since Enishi was rather absent from that role these days. Placing the last rinsed plate back in its cupboard, the blonde turned to you confused to see you with a cleaning towel.

"Let me do it," he reached out, grabbing the cloth to pull it his way.

"I can do it," you said, pulling it out of his grasp, back into your own.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Thank you for the help," you nodded, sending a grateful smile his way. At least someone in this house was being helpful and not a killjoy.

Left with nothing else to do, he turned to leave when his eyes locked on the silver fox in the corner, still busy finishing his own food, but watching the interaction between the two of you, tongue poking his cheek, jealousy written all over his face. The blonde took advantage of his moment of weakness, spinning back to you in a heartbeat. Wide-eyed at his sudden proximity once again, you were about to ask him if he needed anything when he leaned down to your ear. The edge of his lips grazed the tip of your ear just like the did with your thumb, heart thrumming loud in your ears with his words.

"Lose the ponytail, princess," he said, voice dripping with sin twisting your insides together.

Satisfied with the lethal stare pointed his way and your puzzled look, he pulled away and turned around, leaving on his merry way. You stood there with a gulp stuck in your throat and cloth frozen in the air until the door shut closed, shaking you out of it. You turned to the island with the cleaning cloth just to get your breath caught in your throat for the millionth time today.

He was watching you again. That simple, infuriating and extremely loaded gaze he fixed on you rapped your pulse upwards, stealing your breath away. You couldn't avoid it no matter how hard you tried.

Say something, your eyes pleaded with him.

Anything.

Pure silence followed. None of you blinked or moved. A hopeful gaze from you. Nothing from him. Nothing at all. Just silence that cut through you like a sharp knife, willing you to fill it. But you had nothing else to fill it with. All your words spiraled in your head on a roulette but you couldn't pull the trigger on any of them. They were all too loaded, harsh, strong and heavy to be said or felt.

Stop looking at me like it matters, you shook your head in disappointment.

Koru's soft fur rubbed your leg bringing you back to reality seeing her walk out the door. Busying yourself as far away from him as possible, you got to cleaning the rest of the kitchen. You hated how easily he gave you icy chills and hot flushes simultaneously with just one damn look. You hated how your body soaked it in every time, like an addiction you could never lose. You hated how badly you craved his attention. You hated everything he made you feel right now.

Frankly, you stayed behind not for the need to clean, but to keep him company. You hated eating alone and he deserved at least that, even if you sat in different corners, to each their own, without as much as a word spoken between you.

When he was done with his food, he joined you at the sink next to where you worked on scrubbing the dried splotches of food from the stove. He washed his plate, rinsing it thoroughly, before he wiped it and put it back in its place. You finished on the stove and grabbed Koru's plate from the floor, storing the rest of her food away for later.

It was so domestic - how you worked around each other in the kitchen like it was a normal everyday occurrence. Although, now, your egos took away from the usual peace that came with it, the ritual feeling almost empty and tedious and not like something that relaxed you on the regular.

Turning on your heels, you came face to face with him, a hair's breadth separating you. Both of you just stood there, gazing at each other waiting for the other to make a move. His chest expanded, rising up with calm and collected breaths. Yours went rampant, trying to focus somewhere else that wasn't him. You were close to exploding this time. You needed to get to your room not stay here and play hooky with someone who couldn't talk.

For Christ's sake.

You moved away first, heading to the sink behind him to rinse the dirt from the cloth and place it back in its place. Passing by him without another thought, you rushed to get to the door, hoping to get out of there faster because if you stayed any longer you would implode.

You never reached the knob.

In one swift move you were lifted off the floor and place up on the kitchen island. In a heartbeat, the strong arms gripping your waist moved to cage you in their space, hips pushing between your thighs, opening them wider on each side. It all happened so fast that it sent your vision swimming but once you started breathing in the sweet musky jasmine scent, your eyes betrayed you, focusing on the perpetrator invading your senses.

From his long, slender fingers, your eyes started a long drive up the sinews of his forearms and the veins spreading in tendrils on top of them leading under the blue sleeves, taking notice of the angry twitch of dominance that made them more prominent as he leaned forward. Climbing up further, you took the crossroad to his shoulder instead of his chest, following the crinkled neck of his kimono.

That damn indigo kimono, matching the color of the darkened night sky behind him, that covered the whole trunk of his neck so chastely, leaving out just enough for curious wander. Your wander.

The things you wanted to do to that neck were for your lips to kiss and never tell. For your tongue to lick and drag over that lump in his throat and never stop. For your teeth to graze and bite until you had enough of him. Until all you could taste was him.

Averting your eyes from it, they landed on yours truly, falling down from that disheveled mop of hair you wanted to pull on without stopping as you devoured him, descending to those eyebrows drawn in vexation observing your shameless perusal, and finally settling on his eyes. Those eyes, pitch black obsidian blazing in the darkest fire you've seen, burning, staring right back at you. Luring. Tempting. Waiting.

Waiting for what?

Jaw locked tense, nose standing tall above the arch of his lips. Lips that haven't felt yours in so long. Lips your whole body has been aching for. Lips that were pursed in full control looking for something.

By the looks of it, he was determined to get something out of you by keeping you there in place on the cold marble. A reaction, a flutter, a falter. Anything that would tell him you gave into him tonight, even in the slightest, without as much as an effort from him.

And you took him in. The entirety of him. Stretching larger than you remembered him to be, broader than your closeness to his body could capture from this angle. This view alone made your heart pump a little faster, too fast to be normal, pushing you to drag an involuntary breath in. When you let it out, he spoke to you, for the first time in the last two days, taking that breath away from you just as quick as you released it into the air between you.

"You know I can fuck you right here if I want to, right?" he stated, his voice low and raspy, driving deep inside of you straight to the pulsing mound between your legs as he fixed your gaze.

I know you, echoed at the same time in your head.

That reminder was a constant voice in the back of your mind. That whatever you did with anyone else wouldn't fulfill you the way only he could. That only his voice could boil and melt the blood in your veins. That only his fingers could graze you on the inside and outside, both in sweet relief and anguish, separately and at the same time.

Your body craved to have him even now, completely enraged with him and willing to forget it for a while. To have him in every possible way that a mere mortal could, struggling to keep the control you worked up for the past two days to keep in your grasp.

It was bold of you to assume that a close encounter like this didn't make you feel anything, other than the slight tip of your foot downwards grazing the side of his leg.

But he was wrong to assume that you would submit to that powerful gaze like last time, even bolder to be certain that you didn't have some kind of advantage this time - the fact that you've denied him of you just like he denied you of him. I'll give you a taste of me. In my way.

Latching a secure hold on the front of his blue kimono, you kept his focused gaze as you undid the material around his middle with one swift pull of the loose, messy knot that kept him so closed off. Parting the sides away, you laid your hands flat against his abdomen. Agonizingly slow, you lead them upwards, feeling the depths of his toned form even under that heavy tank top you imagined ripping apart in so many different ways, reaching all the way to his ribcage. There, you felt him pull in a breath of his own, chest expanding open under your palms, holding the breath inside his pursed lips.

You caught him vulnerable, choosing to keep composed though the tick in his jaw told you he was close to losing it. The very breaths underneath your hands telling you that he was affected. You could feel his very heart at the tip of your fingertips, beating in a staggering rhythm.

It was your time to strike.

"Are you saying you don't want to," you spoke in a sweet whisper, smooth and saccharine like a shot of whiskey, as you trailed your right palm to the collar of the top, getting closer, under the unwavering gaze of his eyes turning a darker shade with your every move.

Your hands almost reached his neck. Cold fingers almost touched what looked like sizzling hot skin calling for your touch under the pale, small, flickering light behind you, when you saw something. So small but so unmistakable that if you blinked you might have just missed it. You might've been crazy, caught in the heat of the moment, but you definitely saw the slight bent of his head to the side, giving you more access to his neck, making that cursed vein more visible to you, uncovering it from the confines of the cotton surface.

You got closer, breath fanning over it dangerously close when he finally let a breath out. A full breathy, guttural, low groan. His hands gripped the counter edge harder, knuckles turning white in anticipation because in that angle he couldn't see you. He couldn't tell where you were taking this at all and he hated it. You could tell he did, smirking in satisfaction that you got him right where you wanted filling you up more than anything ever could.

And you stopped, removing your hands from his body, sitting back on the marble top, denying him once more.

The way his body recoiled backwards in response was a reminder that he had his shortcomings too. That he could act as dominant as he wanted, push you to the brink of insanity with as much as a stare, lay his touch on any inch of you he desired, but he couldn't put you out of the game. Him, of all people, would never be able to put your fire out. Because as much as he knew you, you started learning his ways too. You knew what made him tick, what kept him coming for more, what made his eyes sparkle with want. You knew him now. And it would take a lot more than this stupid game of his to make you unlearn all of it.

Though on the other hand, he did deserve a little token of, not appreciation per se, but a taster of what he was missing by being an idiot and placing a bet on your feelings.

So, you motioned him with your pointer finger to come closer to you. Hesitantly, he leaned down reaching your space again as you leaned up to his ear, tricking him into thinking you would whisper something else that would relay your desires to him in some way, only to bite down roughly on his earlobe, dragging it between your hungry teeth.

Once your lips were connected to his skin you wasted no time, moving from his ear under his jaw to lay eager open-mouthed kisses to the crane of his neck, quenching a thirst inside of you that was banished to the dessert for way too long. Finally savouring the moment you placed your lips on his skin like it was the last time you ever had the chance, sucking it hard and rough with the ravaging need of a wolf. This, was more for your own pleasure rather than his own, though it seemed to turn him on too.

His fingers unfurled from the edge of the counter planting themselves on each side of you, palms open fully on the marble top, greedy neck pushing into your lips to cover more, search more for the right spot, hips pressing into your lower body as he fell forward between your legs. He tried keeping in his grunts but the slower you went down his neck the less he could keep them inside. Struggling to abstain yourself from touching him, you lost that battle before it even begun.

Both of your hands sneaked under the blue kimono, going to his broad shoulders, gripping onto the bands of his tank top to pull him closer and move them under the material, feeling the mightiness of his toned body tense up under your palms. His pulse went rapid against your lips, grinning against his skin, relishing in the fact that you now knew you had the same effect on him that he had on you.

You sucked and nibbled relentless, hands climbing to his nape, fingers tangling in the curls at the back of his neck as you circled the whole area near that vein on the side of his neck, hearing him come undone inside with every grunt rumbling in his throat. But it wasn't where he needed you, the prominent, hard bulge in his pants tapping the inside of your thigh repeatedly, the more you drew him closer with your legs tangled around his waist.

If it was up to him, he would've had your bare stomach pressed against the cold marble, one hand gripping your jaw raw and rough as he bit off your lips, the other pulling your ponytail like a savage, fucking you blind by now. Rutting deep inside you, leaving his scent on every inch of your skin available on the outside, scorching every part inside of you that ached for him. Greedy and possessive like an animal devouring his prey.

But it wasn't up to him.

The power games shifted your way a while ago. You took his power away, rendering his bearings haywire and he didn't even notice. His power was fully yours now and you were willing to fight dirty and wild to keep it in your hands for as long as you wanted to.

When you felt his hand sneak up to your backside to reclaim some semblance control, you unglued your lips away from his neck, pulling away in a heartbeat. Like nothing happened. Like you weren't attached to his sweetest spot, teasing him just like he teased your own in the artillery room a few nights ago, playing his own game way more brutally and intense than he ever could.

Sitting back to get your breath under control, you took a good look at him this time. At his messy hair from how your fingers pulled on it, the side of his kimono falling from his shoulder unceremoniously, at the pale skin on his neck turning light pink from how hard you bit on it. His eyes were blown wide, still consuming the rest of the sensations you left on his skin, his breaths still running a lonely marathon that you abandoned bare moments ago.

"You're all talk and no action," you said, steady as you straightened your back and patted his chest, jumping off the kitchen island all in a beat, leaving him there scattered and defeated, exiting the kitchen with a wicked smile on your lips.

You made sure he knew just what he was up against the next time he even thought of playing around with you. He didn't give you the upper hand this time. You just took it before he even got a chance to win it. You made him see how it felt being manhandled dirty and raw, left at the height of it to deal with it by yourself, left bare and open for anyone to see.

He thought no one could dominate him, tame him, deny him. He was damned if he still thought that after tonight when he let all those supressed feelings show on his face. There was one person who could take him head on with absolutely no shame or remorse over their actions and it was you.

Mission accomplished!

Miyu - 2 points. Enishi - 1 point.

I could play this game all day.

The morning arrived slowly, lazy like a warm embrace in the hands of the still winter. Birds chirped outside your window as you rolled in bed to face the white, warm sunlight, a smile of satisfaction sitting on your lips as you stretched your hands overhead.

Is this how kings felt conquering something after years of battle?

You felt like a winner after the events of the previous day, still streaming in your head as proof of your conquest, especially with Enishi. Replaying the way he looked in the kitchen last night, folded and open to your desire, had you feeling like you added extra years to your lifespan.

Koru climbed in your lap, purring in delight to match your good mood. Before you could bask too long in the positive and the gratification of your hard work, since bringing men to his knees was no easy feat, the weight of something unknown settled in your stomach. You couldn't really put your finger on it but something was growing in there, gnawing at you impatiently to figure what it is. Maybe it was nothing. Or you were just hungry.

Shaking it away, you got out of bed with a smile and went about your day as normal.

Training outside in the warmth of the sun by yourself for a bit, your feline friend keeping you company as she chased butterflies around the garden trying to catch them but getting distracted by other flying insects.

Cooking some food from the quick groceries Wu managed to get from the market in the morning before he left in a rush. Though it was not much, it was enough for the gang on the grounds.

Cleaning your room up, an overdue task that proved grounding and calming. You moved some things around and made space for a work desk adjacent to the vanity, right in the sunlit corner of the room, to stash all your spare materials and tools away.

Most of the day went on, doing things by yourself and for yourself, often joined by Koru, with surprisingly no man in sight to disturb you in any way - mental, physical or emotional. It was pure bliss, calm, serene. Absolute peace to yourself for once.

The afternoon rolled in slowly, finding you snuggled up with a book you found in Enishi's library. He had a bunch of romance works in there that no one would be reading anyway, definitely not him of all people, or the killing machines guarding the place. So, you helped yourself to the shelves, taking as many that piqued your interest back to your humble abode.

You let the large cream windows in your room wide open to get some fresh air inside, kitten settled in beside you, playing around with a spare ball of thread.

Reading away, you were deep into a really good part in the book when that feeling creeped up on you again. You didn't know if the words you read triggered it or not but something did because a familiar heaviness sat on top of your chest, a little tighter than earlier in the day. You massaged your chest in hopes it was just indigestion, when Koru looked up from her temporary toy, placing a paw on your thigh with eyes wide in alert. As if she sensed something was wrong too.

"I'm fine, little one. I think I just ate lunch too fast," you smiled in reassurance. The feline abandoned her toy and came to sit against you, letting the ball roll to the end of the bed finding you much more interesting than the whirly thread.

You tried to get back to reading but that sensation just persisted in your belly, stirring your guts up into stressed nodes. Every time you tried to get past that line your mind would pause and not take it in at all. You were on your third read trying to absorb it when the air chilled around you all of a sudden. Looking up from the book to the windows, you caught the beginning of sunset, setting down over the nearby hill in pale yellow colors, most of the light that pooled in your room gone with a beige hue. You got up to close them just as someone stumbled into your room, throwing your doors open with a bang that startled the living daylights out of both you and your cat.

"There you were," spoke the blonde, rushing to take his recently designated seat at the end of your bed. "I've been looking everywhere for you today."

I guess that was more than enough peace to last me for a year.

You made your way back to the bed, taking back your comfortable spot against the pillows. Koru gave him a toothy hiss for his lack of manners then plopped in your lap.

"I was literally everywhere today," you stated as a matter of fact, stroking her soft. "What's up?"

He turned around to face you better, goofy energy on his face turning mellow as he regarded you for a moment. The spicy ensemble you wore yesterday was nowhere in sight today - to his relief - replaced by a champagne-colored oversized shirt and a pair of navy pants. Your hair was braided messily, falling down your shoulder with a few strands loose, tied sloppily at the end with a piece of fabric matching the dark blue shade of your pants. You were dressed like you again.

Blue wasn't his taste at all, preferring the browns and reds much more on you since they flattered no just your features but your personality. But he had to admit this dark shade did suit you, comfortably chic and elegant. If anything, mophead's obsession with the color rubbed off on you too and in a rather good way.

"You're staring," you snapped him back to attention waving your hand in front of his face. "If I didn't know any better, I would say you're falling for me, blondie," you joked.

"Something like that," he replied, flirty smile back on his face.

You grinned in response, unaware of just what he harbored in his heart for the past few years. If only you knew. If only he could tell you.

Marking the page you were on before you closed the book and put it to the side, you gave him your undivided attention, blinking up at him with warm eyes that paired up with your small tight-lipped smile, the one that made your dimples pop and cheeks puff up slightly. If hearts could make louder sounds than simply thrumming with a beat, his would roar like a tiger on his way to challenge the king of the jungle, which he was currently doing anyway.

"Come on, be serious for once," you pushed his shoulder playfully, feeling your cheeks tint pink from the way he looked at you.

He hoped you couldn't tell what that look meant because that one look alone spoke of love - the unconditional kind, like it's always been there, twinkling in his eyes like a promise he couldn't make out loud. Thankfully, you thought it was just one of his very sarcastic ones, grinning back at him all-knowing but so far from the truth of it that he just let you believe it for his own peace of mind.

"Tell me what's so urgent that you turned the devil's lair upside down to find me."

He grinned back at you, chuckling at your choice of words. Whatever you were reading had you soften up into a romantic and it wasn't doing him or his heart any good. He peeked to the side raising an eyebrow as he read the title of the book laying on the safety of your pillow before you caught up to him, attempting to block his view.

"Wuthering Heights?" he leaned over you and grabbed the book, getting up before you could snatch it back from his hold. "Since when were you so lost in love that two people losing their minds over each other is your go-to read?"

How does he know about this book? From what I know he isn't well-versed in anything intellectual, including reading.

"Since when do you read?" you questioned, following him around the room to retrieve your book.

"Since forever," he hummed, avoiding you and your tiny hands at all costs, grateful that you were smaller in height but annoyed that it meant you were very fast on your legs.

He dove into the corner between the vanity and the work table, right by the window, completely covered away from you and opened the book. Your hands wrapped around his waist to tickle him but that sneak attack didn't stop him from looking at the small paper notes neatly stashed inside, hanging on the side of almost every page. Reading some of them, his eyebrows hit his hairline surprised by your opinions to every chapter he landed on. "You annotated this?"

"Yes, now give it back," you snarled back. Leaving your tickle tactic, you threw your hands around him to grab it but he turned away to the window ledge leaning over it in a way that he was bent over it and his back was fully blocking you. You muttered a string of curses under your breath, cussing him out for being so tall. "Fucking street lamp pillar."

"I heard that," he laughed.

He rushed to the page you were on a few moments before he broke in the room, pushing his broad shoulders around to keep you behind him. Eyes scaling the pages, he rushed to the last line you marked halfway read, reading it out loud.

"If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be. And if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger," he recited, word for word, his previous attempt at teasing turning into seriousness by the time he reached the end of the line and the words registered.

Feeling like he intruded on something too personal, he took another look at the sentence, memorizing it. Something just told him to. Then he turned around and gave it back to you, genuine sincerity present in his eyes. Taken aback, you took it and went back to the bed.

"Why are you here?" you asked, tired of games and eager to get back to the book, plopping back down beside Koru.

He replied to you with a question of his own.

"Remember the bonfire night a few days ago?"

The night flashed through your mind from beginning to end, spinning the cogs in your brain a little too fast that it gave you whiplash. You did remember. The slow dancing to the crackle of fire, the heavy drinking, the sword debates like it was your local sword club night, carrying two very drunk people to their rooms only to have them cuddle in the same bed. Even the small half-spoken promises made in the dark with a tipsy conscience. You remembered all of it.

I wish I could forget some of it.

"What about it?"

"I know I was drunk-" he started before you interjected raising a finger in the air.

"I would say more than drunk." He shot you a look that indicated he wasn't finished yet. "Okay, continue."

"Among other things, I remember you making a promise that we were gonna talk. About... you know. Everything?"

There it was. One of the rushed, painful promises you made that night. Your hand stopped petting Koru, luscious fur warming up under your frozen touch. Your heart fell somewhere in the depths of your stomach at the reminder that you indeed did make that promise and that it kinda expired the next day without you fulfilling it.

Cursing yourself, both for making it and not keeping it, you looked up at him only to see that hopeful look in his eyes again. The same look he's been giving you since you've met again. The one that wished to make your relationship better and clear up what happened in the past.

"I just want to make things right with you," he added, looking down in his lap with a friendly twitch of his lips, lost on what else to say.

Your own eyes darted down, busying with the design on the duvet, the maroon wooden floors, even the white swirling into golden motives on the walls as if you never saw any of these details before. You wanted to talk to him and clear things up too, but you weren't even sure where to start.

It wasn't stalling. No, not even close. There was just so much to go through and you knew starting somewhere, anywhere, would be good, but you were lost on what. On the unsaid feelings that were still there, deep in your heart, still keeping you awake at night because he never gave you a chance to let them out? On the fact that he left right before you confessed those very feelings to him or that you lost control that night killing a bunch of people in cold blood? Which one of these was a good, relatively positive conversation starter that said 'Let's be friends again'?

Then you felt that pang in your torso, making your chest feel heavy again. Was he the one making it heavy or was it something else looming over you, waiting to catch you off-guard?

You were about to answer him when an unwanted visitor cracked your door open just a notch. He peeked his head inside and looked at the way the two of you were perched on the bed with the cat wiggling her tail between you, having what looked like a heart to heart.

Before he started sending daggers to the blonde coddled on your bed way too comfortable for his liking, he remembered why he was barging in the room in the first place and looked at you with a gaze that spurred that tightness in your chest further.

"Sorry to interrupt your bonding session, but we have news." His eyes softened when they landed on you, sending the growing pit of worry in your belly ablaze as he continued. "It's about your parents."

Your heart dropped.

You sat up abruptly, not wasting another second before you were swiftly on his tail as you followed him to his office without another word. The knots in your stomach churned and twisted in anticipation, and not the good kind that had you over the moon, but the one that could stop your beating heart as fast as a snap of fingers, wishing you could just teleport there and save up time.

Was it good news or bad news? was the main question running rampant.

If they were bad again, you were probably better off digging a hole into the ground and hiding from everything and everyone for an undetermined period. Your hopes were low to zero that it could be anything good in terms of the way most of your recent leads and missions went. But the urgency in his step kept the hope alive within you. Maybe it was something good this time around. So you kept that hope close, cradling it like a kindle that could go out on the smallest breeze, bracing yourself for whatever waited for you on the other side.

Wu and a few members of the gang were already sat in the office, waiting for the three of you. By the incognito citizen clothes, too shabby to be something Wu would ever wear freely out in the world, they definitely went out to gather information from places far more dangerous than the corner of the street.

"Master, madame," Wu greeted both of you, sitting with four of his men by the side of the desk, dejected looks on their faces.

You gave them a court nod, stopping in front of the desk, confused as to what was happening that required having so many people present. That and the fact that it might be really private information that was being shared. Whatever it was, it made that thing in your chest sit around your lungs like rope, tightening more with each passing second that no one uttered a word. Until Wu finally broke the silence halting the rope a little.

"We've been looking for the prisoner that escaped a few days ago. His name is Kenzo Hebi."

Kenzo the Snake. In all the years you've been graced by presence, you never caught his name. Or knew anything about him besides the fact that his wife was a leech just like him. But apparently he knew everything about you and your family, slithering into it enough to slowly destroy it. That name suits him entirely.

"Though we didn't find him particularly, we did find his boss. He's been working for the Daos."

The Daos you encountered back at the casino? If anything they didn't look like big bad mafia lords that a businessman had deals with, especially considering their shitty poker skills. But alas.

"The Triads?" asked Cho taken aback at the info. "What does a Yokohama businessman have to do with the Triads?"

Hold the fuck up. The Daos are part of the Triads? If Enishi knew that, he left out that part back when he briefed you for the mission. You threw him a look and as if he sensed your question, he shook his head that he didn't know that either. This was new information to both of you.

"How do you know that?" you asked the blonde in hopes he would elaborate and dissipate the common cloud of confusion.

"I have a few hatchets to bury with them," he crossed his arms on his chest, leaning backwards on the marble pillar behind him. His exposed forearms flexed in tandem with his jaw, a clear indicator he wasn't selling you doughnuts. He did have history with them. "I did some digging on them to get some leverage and found that they paid the Triads for security from time to time and they were occasionally trading arms."

Wu confirmed the information briefly before Enishi took over the conversation reeling it back to the main point. That man. The sly lizard that took everything from you.

"You may know him as a friend of your father's," he peered at you, noticing the way you scrunched your nose in disgust at the thoughtless pun, shifting on your legs impatiently. "But we caught him for an entirely different reason that night."

Speed-walking to his desk from beside you, he pulled open some drawers laying out a few maps on top of each other. You all gathered closer around them as he started explaining, trying to keep up with all the new information revealing itself.

"Besides that, he stole from one of our gun factories down the Eastern side of the Huangpu River," he pointed to one of the maps sketched to outline the exact settlement of the city of Shanghai. You honed in on it, recognizing the spot to be a textiles factory, about a few blocks away from the last place of refuge that you had to vacate, since the commander's troops were on your tail. Well, more on the tail of that one gray-haired criminal that you broke out, harbored, fed and now lived with. But anyway.

"The factory is kept under a textiles cover so the commander wouldn't question it." That made a lot of sense, especially since he checked all establishments regularly to make sure they had all the necessary papers to function.

"Anyway," he continued shifting some more paper around looking for something in particular. "While we may steal from other mafias sometimes, we do make a majority of our weapons there. Usually, people know better than crossing into our territory, but somehow that fucker managed to steal most of our stock."

"So you brought him in for questioning," you added as the story started piecing itself together. He nodded briefly still shuffling the pile of maps around, eyes grazing the ink without a break.

You would've apologized for nearly killing their source of information but he had it coming anyway. You thought back to the way you assaulted that man down in the basement as soon as he opened his mouth to talk nonsense, thinking he just happened to fall there as you were looking for your parents. As much as you hated to admit, it was a good outlet for your temporary rage.

"Yes, but as it turns out he's just one piece of a bigger puzzle." He shuffled the map he was looking for your way. You picked it up to see several places, all circled around the river in strident red ink - other factories, shops and even restaurants labelled with the names of other mafias, some of them that you've encountered on your own missions before.

Enishi handed you another map of the neighbouring cities, red circles turning into an overwhelming spiral of scarlet stretching across the rest of the country.

"It wasn't just us. They stole from every mafia on the mainland."

Stealing from every mafia and undercover at that without anyone suspecting anything? What could they possibly be planning that they would go that far? Unless... No. That wasn't possible. But all things on the table in front of you pointed to that.

"Oh my god," you gasped as the realization hit you. "They're making the gangs blame each other in order to start a war."

Enishi nodded, confirming your suspicions. But if this was happening already, like Cho recalled earlier, much, much worse was on the way. Things that could be catastrophic for everyone, not just for the crime world.

"But the triads haven't been around for that long. What could they possibly win from that?" asked Cho, voicing out your very thoughts.

"Mafias control a big part of trade, both imports and exports. By blindly gaining their trust and working under them, they can make a mafia crumble from the inside and take over it completely," added Enishi, leaning forward on the desk, eyes lost in the whirlpool of ink and paper. "If they abolish the mafias they gain control of everything going in and out of the country."

A coup d'état. This was way too much to process. Not just this but what told you that no traitor was lurking on the mansion grounds right now, right under Enishi's unsuspecting nose, watching your every move, eating the very food you've been cooking, hiding in the shadows until it was time to rat himself out. But then again the whole thing with the Triads was too complex. They barely got funded a couple of years ago and they already branched themselves out like a silent poison looking to kill and replace the systems that have been around for way longer than you've been alive. This was shaking up the natural order of things that wasn't even natural in the first place.

With all of this coming to light... there was something else you kept hidden. Something you haven't told anyone before since you didn't want it to reach the light of day in case it could put you on the radar again.

A few years ago, after the whole thing with Cho happened, you went solo again. Work was somewhat going well, you were getting jobs left and right, becoming the main person people called on for their long, insatiable, egocentric hitlists. You did the jobs, you got paid, you lived somewhat comfortably in a dusty old barrack. But as much as it was good business for you, it put you in the vizor of someone you never wanted to get involved with - the Triads.

At the time, you've heard stories of other assassins getting hired by them and they almost contracted you too back in Japan. You refused because working for them would've cost you every ounce of the freedom you barely had anyway. The triads gave you a roof over your head, fed you and trained you to the best you could be, but they took away every other semblance of humanity you had to make you nothing more than a killing machine, executing orders devoid of any conscience. A puppet to be controlled in their revolt against the state.

You refused them. Multiple times. Some of them involved taking your pistols out and you didn't just threaten anyone. But they got so persistent, hellbent on having you join them that it got to the point where they followed you, watching you on your missions, finding your whereabouts at any hour of the day, until you had enough and left the country silently.

That was the main reason you tried to stay under the radar when you came to Shanghai. You did your work under a different name, changed safe houses every few months, didn't get acquainted with anyone, doing everything in your power to try and erase any footprints that could lead them to you. Because anything pinpointing your location meant delivering yourself to them on a golden platter.

You lived your life in the shadows more than you wanted to, wishing it could all stop one day. The running, the hiding, the constant fear that someone was on their way to get you and drag you back into the darkness where she waited for you, since they definitely wanted Barairo, the crimson rose, not you. You wanted to fight them, let her out to destroy them every chance you got. But you didn't know what you were up against until now.

Coming back to the present, you tried to make sense of all the new, concerning details and what you already knew about the Triads, failing to see anything in this tangled mess relating to your mom and dad.

"Okay, but where do my parents stand in all this?" you let out the long-awaited question looking at Wu, hoping that he could finally spill what you wanted to know.

Were they dead? Were they alive? Did he find them or anything else that could lead us to them?

Instead of answering you, he peered over to the very man that called you over tonight. He was sitting in the shadows behind the mahogany desk with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes were cast downwards, staring gaping holes into the maps, avoiding your curious ones at any cost, despite being the one who commenced this meeting in the first place. Something was off and very weird about it. He was always so collected, holding nothing back. Why was he on the defense so suddenly? Then he sighed. A long, stacked breath of air. Enishi doesn't sigh.

"What's going on?" you pushed, stepping closer to the desk, wanting to know why he was taking so long to talk.

He hesitated telling you, trying to push this dreaded conversation aside as much as he could for the past few weeks, but he had to. He was done keeping things away from you. He knew the risk - that he could lose you either way. If he talked, you would cave in on yourself, shutting him out completely. But if he didn't, you would have your suspicions and question him until you pried it out of him.

It was now or never. He preferred for it to be never. But it was time. He could be dishonest and false with anyone else. But not with you. Not when you put your trust in him for it.

Taking a deep inhale with eyes closed, feeling nerves grip him for the first time in a good while, he pushed it out with the exhale, guilty raven eyes looking at you with the weight of steel.

"Your parents had ties to the Triads."

Time stilled as the words left his mouth one by one. Not one soul moved. Yours froze and thawed over in seconds at just that one sentence. A sentence you never thought you'd ever hear in your life.

You struggled to process the words like he spoke in a foreign language you had no recollection of ever hearing or speaking before. They rolled over and over in your head, brain working overtime in turning each one back and forth, until they started registering sharp and clear and as they did, your knees went weak with their weight. Those horrifying seven words echoed again with more impact this time, ears ringing as you scurried backwards away from the desk to get yourself seated on the couch somehow, so you wouldn't crumble in front of everyone.

Your mind ran empty of everything, nausea making her hideous presence felt so deeply in that pit in your stomach, setting fire to the incessant bellows of worry that ate at your peace little by little all day. Your eyes weren't even focusing on the worried pairs of eyes gathering around you, one more concerned than any of them kneeling down before you. He spoke, getting you to focus on his words but they weren't what you needed to hear at all.

"There's something else you should know."

What more could be worse than this?

"Our meeting wasn't a coincidence."

What?

"I know that they tried to contract you," he continued, giving you no time to think straight. "They've been looking for you."

"How do you-"

"I've been watching you for a while, way before you moved in. We've been looking for any leads on the guy and stumbled upon the Hikari name. One clue led to another and I found you."

Your eyes darted to the ground away from him, grinding your teeth with newfound anger, trying to keep your temper under control. He hasn't talked to you in days, not one single word save for the heated interaction you had last night in the kitchen. But the one time he does talk is to chirp like a fucking canary that he played Judas with you.

He lied to me.

All this time, he didn't want to take me in. He never wanted to train me. He wanted information from me. He wanted to know if I was involved in this godforsaken world in the slightest.

All this time, I was a pawn in his game. He was right. I really was just another stray he took in. I've been so stupid.

Forget the stab in the back for now. Your parents were your main priority here, no matter how much this hurt. You focused all your leftover energy on them since you might have a safe shot at finding them. Even if that meant keeping your alliance with the devil sitting right in front of you, still playing angel in disguise despite everything he just told you that he's been hiding from you for months. Wasting any more precious time, like this, was signing their death sentence.

Feeling the repercussions of his betrayal came later, you told yourself to ease the ache a notch. For now, you'd keep your own feelings at bay and fight for your parents. For now, you'd keep the anger inside just a little more.

That was until he chose to open his mouth again.

"Are you okay?"

You've got to be shitting me.

"Am I okay?! You're telling me that my parents were somehow involved in organized crime and expect me to be okay?! Do you realize how fucking insane that sounds?" you threw a hand through your hair trying to make sense of anything in this mess. It sounded ridiculous even as you said it out loud yourself. "T-they were tailors, they weren't bad people."

"I know it sounds difficult to believe, but Wu ran the information and it checks out," he added, as if your world wasn't barely standing straight already and some more truthful angst would do the trick to tilt it over fully. Fucking amazing.

You weren't going to believe it at all until you sat thinking for a good minute, going over your last interactions with your parents years ago, and certain things became way too clear in your head just like idea bulbs. Or trauma bulbs in this case.

The way that snake threatened them every time he came to the tailor shop. The fact that your parents had a lot of foreign clients coming from outside of the city, all the way to some tailor shop in the middle of practically nowhere. Or that you were living comfortably, homeschooled, safe, unlike the rest of the district that was in peak war age.

It all started to make a whole lot of fucking sense.

"Their clients, the expensive textiles they imported, even our house," your head dropped to your hands as it all became crystal clear in a messy mix of truths you couldn't swallow past that lump in your throat. "None of it was really ours was it?"

"I'm sorry," he rubbed your arm trying to comfort you, even though he knew nothing could actually bring you peace, especially coming from him after everything he just told you, after he lied. "But they weren't bad people. They were just whisked away in the midst of it all."

"Does that mean we can't find them?" you asked, hating the way your voice broke on the last word.

"On the contrary," he turned up a smirk, just like he did whenever he knew something helpful. A solution out of the hell ride you were slowly buckling into. It somehow brought you some hope that things weren't as fucked up as they seemed. Though you highly doubted that.

"If they are affiliated with the triads, even in the smallest, we have a chance at finding them sooner than we think."

A chance. That's all you needed. Even the smallest of hopes in the biggest pile of all this fantastical fuckery would do you good right now.

"There is someone who knows enough about their plans to send them to the pits of hell if he wanted. We arranged to meet with him."

Okay, that's great. A possibly wanted man wanting to meet with the leader of one of the mafias who could have him killed or put him out in the open to the Triads for them to get him killed first? Highly unlikely.

"Why do I feel like there's more to that?"

"It took some persuasion, but he agreed to meet us in the worst place possible. The Shanghai Club."

"You've got to be joking," exclaimed Cho, finally joining the conversation since his own ass could be in danger now. "That place is crawling with the commander's troops and triad members."

"That's why I said it's the worst place possible," added Enishi as a matter of fact, turning to look Cho dead in the eye.

Ignoring their bickering, you gave it a thought. You had a safe shot at finding your parents this time. Sure, it could end up in a bloodbath no one wanted to wipe clean after, but you were willing to take it.

No more waiting. No more looking around to find fairy tales from random henchmen caught red handed with information that was common knowledge in their world. It was time you decided what you wanted to do and right now that was following your incredibly twisted guts. If you had to dive into that hell again, then might as well do it on your own terms. 'Cause the first time went fantastic.

"When?" you simply asked.

"Hold on a second. You're not actually thinking of going are you?" asked Cho, though it wasn't really a question and more of a statement that he would get in your way. "That's a suicide mission."

"I have to," you played with the hem of your shirt, trying to calm a shrill of tremor climbing up your hands. "They're my parents, Cho. I can't just leave things like this. Not now when we have a certain lead."

You turned back to Enishi with hopeful eyes finding his own still on you, waiting for your answer. This was probably the last thing you would trust him with ever. "It is certain this time, right?"

He didn't hesitate to nod his head, a genuine want to help passing through his eyes at your question. Good.

"If we're going there, we're gonna need new outfits!" you chimed, trying to find a way to get out of the room before the walls would cave in on you and someone took notice of the unnatural way your hands started shaking. That knot in your chest tugged at you more insistently now with the heavy tension in the air and the multiple pairs of eyes watching you with pity, the one thing you hated the most in the world.

"I want both of you in my room later," you added, nodding at the two men that would accompany you. You only registered how suggestive your words sounded after they left your mouth, all eyes in the room staring at you widely, only adding to your discomfort. Men.

"To get you sized and ready, obviously," you clarified and with that you shuffled off the couch and left in a hurry without looking back.

The two males exchanged a look, trying to make sense of your behaviour, expecting a different reaction to all of this, not you being ready to stitch and sew outfits in the dead of night. The blonde shrugged in response, lost on what to think anymore, more preoccupied with finding an escape route of this. But something about your reaction rubbed the other one wrong, watching your back retreat out the door with growing nerves himself.

You walked this hallway so many times before. But right now for some reason it seemed to stretch longer, wider, walls tilting in on each other under the weight of gravity. Each step on the creaky wooden floors made you jump in fright, the trepidation of your heart louder than the constant ringing in your ears, heavier than the bile gradually rising in your throat.

Taking faster strides to reach the familiar tall oak arches, you pushed the doors to your room open. Going straight to your work desk, you pulled out all the materials you could find to start working and get your mind off things. Pacing around from corner to corner, unable to locate the cushion of needles you always, you ran to your vanity as your heart pumped faster. You searched around and messed up the recently organized drawers, throwing things on the ground behind you, hands shaking with anxiety only to find the damn cushion nowhere in sight, more worry gripping you.

You took a look at yourself in the mirror, staring at the dim orbs that resembled your mother's eyes. The faces of your parents flashed before you, standing next to each other in a tender embrace, expanding that painful throb in your chest.

What if I will never find them? They were gone for so long. There might be no trace of them on earth anymore. That simple thought made each breath your lungs took harder to call inside, taking you even longer to let them out. Your vision darkened, a new wave of dizziness throwing you off balance as you grappled with your breathing that was slowly going out of control, coming out in shorter pants and wheezes.

Panic filled you from that annoying pit in your belly, stretching upwards inside of you to grab onto your neck as if to strangle you for ignoring it for so long. To make you pay for every missed chance of finding your parents. For every connection you built on blind, broken trust. For every life you took that probably didn't even deserve it. For following the worst of devils on earth fooling yourself they would save you. For being a failure in every fucking way and not being able to do one thing right by your parents, by the people you cared about, by yourself. For everything you did, for all you were doing and for everything you will do. You lost the fight. You let your own personal inferno come alive.

I warned you, a voice echoed inside of you head, dark with malice and death. You leaned your hands on the vanity table, your whole body trembling, spasming under your weight that seemed unbearable to keep on your own two legs, struggling to stay upright. This wasn't happening. This couldn't happen.

Not right now. I can't lose control now. Not when I'm so close to find them.

You caught the glimpse of a silhouette in the vanity mirror, entering your room in a haste. Maybe it was death remembering you existed, finally coming to take you away as payback for avoiding its call to hell so many times that it found it amusing and let you simmer until you finally broke yourself. The devil surely loved the sinners that did it to themselves the most.

The shadow moved behind you, looking less like a demon from hell and more like a human being the closer it got to you. Maybe it was one of the angels still around you, fighting for your redemption against all odds telling it you couldn't be saved. That you didn't deserve the saving.

Whatever or whoever it was, they called your name with a voice so angelic, like a dream was playing before you in slow motion. A tone so holy that you could trust it to take you anywhere it wanted to, whether it was heaven or hell. It might have been your hallucination kicking in as you were falling apart. It tried to get your attention but they seemed so far away. So, so, so far away from the abyss you had one leg inside. Until their arms wrapped around you, secure and supportive, stable and safe. Maybe it was your mind cooking up nonsense, but you felt that hold on you like someone was actually holding you for real.

Their secure firm tightened around you just like the panic pressing down your neck sending you into sensory overload. You refused to let go of the vanity table, your only anchor to reality, digging your hands into the wood so hard your nails chipped at the edges. A hand came up to your cheek, cupping it gently to turn your face towards them. You stared at the blurry blob in the shadow morphing into a face, slowly becoming clearer in the haze. Their mouth that moved with a voice so angelic before turned into a velvety demonic sound, words finally making their way to you, drilling loud into the quiet.

"Look at me," he demanded, tone warm and steady to get you to focus on him.

Him. You needed to get away from him. You couldn't be near him right now. He hurt you. He broke your trust after you gave it to him with everything you had. All your secrets, your pain, your heart, all of it laid out on a silver platter. He took all of it and threw it into the fire, sitting on the sidelines without as much as looking back to see what was left of you as the ashes scattered away. He used you. He didn't need you. He's better off without you, that voice pushed again.

"Go away," you croaked out trying to shove him off, even as your hands shook uncontrollably and your knees locked in place.

He only held you tighter to him, musky scent you loved so much turning into a burning ash stench as you struggled to inhale any speck of air inside. You slumped against him pathetically, still holding the vanity in a death grip, refusing to let go and give up control. Give it up. Let me out. I can take care of him.

"Look at me," he commanded this time, demanding your attention. Moving anything was taxing, but when your blurry eyes brimming with tears finally caught his, willing him to let you go, he just wouldn't budge from beside you. "I need you to breathe, Miyu."

No, you don't. You need to let me out, she hissed so loud, sending your thoughts haywire.

You choked on a half-sob, trying to get air inside. You were trying. God, you were really trying.

But each haggard, piercing drag of air you ran after slipped further away, turning your chest into nothing more but a lead carcass, just as heavy and constricting as the barrel of your pistols must feel for a bullet. You shook your head, more tears spilling over your cheeks.

"I c-can't."

"Yes, you can."

He worked to loosen the grip of one of your hands on the edge of the vanity table, successfully plying one of them free. He placed it against his chest, letting you feel the beat of his heart, alive and working. He was real. So, so real. A lot more real than the voice in your head. You felt his chest expand under your palm, up and down, his own breathing calm and normal, alternating in rhythms. You tried to follow it in one brave, sharp intake of air but all that did was send needles to your own chest, pushing a pained moan through your throat.

You were drowning. Your heart was beating way too fast for it not to explode any minute. Your lungs weren't working with you. You were ready to accept it and sink into it, ready to let her do whatever she wanted and lose yourself, when his forehead pressed into your temple to keep you tethered here, keep you with him, keep you fighting. He was damned if he let you give into it right now.

"Please breathe for me," he begged, eyes blazing in a frenzy, trying to keep his own breathing stable so you could follow it.

Enishi Yukishiro didn't beg for no one.

The desperation in his voice scared you. It told you he would raise bloody murder to the entirety of the globe if you dared to let go right now. You didn't come this far for nothing. Your struggle wasn't in vain. You still had so much to fight for.

You swore to help him avenge his sister. He swore to help you find your parents. You couldn't let go now. None of those promises were fulfilled yet by either of you. She definitely wouldn't fulfill them. She would kill him before she even took her first step out of that cage. You couldn't let that happen. You couldn't let her. Oh, but you could, she taunted caressing those iron bars with sweet temptation. I will die before I let you touch him.

You tried a few more breaths but they barely went in, crunching the material of his kimono in your fist, pushing your lungs to work with you and take a fucking breath. Pathetic. Frustrated and defeated with yourself, you cried out wishing for a miracle when he spoke again, picking up the very broken pieces of your heart that he shattered with his own two hands, attempting to put them back together.

"I don't regret finding you. I don't regret taking you in. I don't regret anything we've done together. You're not alone anymore. I'm not alone anymore. I like having you around."

Letting his fast mix of jumbled words wash over you, you dug deep into the abyss clutching your heart and your lungs harder with each passing second, looking for a way out. There's no way out. There is always a way out. There had to be one even now as your world seemed like it was ending.

"I need to have you around, Miyu. I promised you I'm not leaving you. I'm here. I'm right here."

You tried again and again and again and again and again. You ran and ran and turned around in the pitch black of your mind that was shutting down, aimlessly looking for a speck of light to lead you out.

"You're strong enough. Come on baby. Breathe with me."

His voice became your saving grace in that moment. He became the surge of light you needed to follow in the darkness. With each word a brighter speck of that light lit it up, making it go back to its place away until it was unable to touch you. Until you couldn't hear her anymore. She was gone.

After what felt like forever, listening to his endless pleas, feeling his heart beating under your trembling hand and his touch holding you close, you were breathing. Somehow, the more you tried more air was finally available to you.

Leaning on the vanity, half-supported by him, you took more air inside like you were taking your first breath in the world, unaware of all that was waiting for you. That first inhale was raw, the large gulps that followed stabbing your dry throat as if knives had a parade inside its walls, fully aware of all that you've already been through. Fully aware that this was only the beginning. But you kept going.

His other hand came to sit around your waist, rubbing circles into your hip, small and large matching the rhythm of his breathing so you could focus and follow it as a guide.

Slowly, the breaths you took went down into your lungs deeper each time, filling them up with much needed air. The bile that rose in your throat went back inside. The chaos in your soul went quiet again with him by your side, holding your hand in the center of his chest the whole time. His fist closed over yours like a safe, guarding it there on top of his heart, not once letting go.

The darkness in your vision cleared a bit, leaving just a few dark spots lingering as you focused on the creature in the mirror looking back at you, resembling you. It was you - paled over, looking like a ghost, shaking like a leaf in the wind, held together by the man beside you.

Your hands stopped shaking, receding to an occasional tremor. Your heart still thundered wildly, still agitated from the thrill. Lifting up the hand you held onto the vanity table to test your balance was a bad decision. The moment you took it away, your whole balance left the safety of the wooden block and you swayed to the side, knees buckling under the sudden movement. But he caught you before you could fall into a pile on the ground.

"Fuck, stay put will you," he rumbled, gathering you in his arms to carry you straight to the bed.

He let you down on the mattress gently, placing you against the pillows and sat down next to you, taking your hand in his. His fingers settled on your pulse point, relief washing over him that it was slowly coming down from the high you were on. He did that a lot as you trained, chastising you about keeping yourself at a normal rate since he discovered you were prone to dizzy spells. Even Koru climbed in the bed, sensing something was wrong and nuzzled your thigh in comfort as you took a few more breaths in, this time to stop the leftover palpitations.

Reaching out to touch the side of your face, he swiped at the leftover tears that were still falling free. His fingers brushed away the hair sticking to your face as you focused on clearing the heavy weight in your chest, loosening apart that tight rope breath by breath until you couldn't feel it there anymore. It was gone just as fast as it came.

He cupped your cheek, drawing your eyes to him. His creased brows and the tension in his hold told you he was still worried. You didn't want to, but you leaned into his touch, almost naturally welcoming his comfort and to soothe both of you someway.

"Thank god I found you before something worse happened."

I didn't kick the bucket yet, you swine. And if I ever do, it won't be under your roof.

Feeling too self-conscious, you looked away from him, gaze falling on the mess you made in the room when you barged in, from the carpet around the vanity littered with all kinds of trinkets, darting to the heaps of fabric on top of your work desk. He followed it, a knowing look replacing the worry on his face. You still wanted to put yourself through working on those damn outfits right now.

"You need rest. Those can wait until tomorrow since the meeting is two days from now," he reassured you. "You have time."

"I'm fine," you said, frowning at your scratchy throat.

Were you saying that for him or for yourself? That didn't really matter right now. What mattered was doing something that didn't let you sit and overthink once your mind caught up to you, though it would take a while since it still felt like cotton was pushed around in it in every corner.

"If you didn't just have a panic attack," he started, handing you a glass with water from the pitcher on the nightstand, "I might have just believed you."

"I don't need your worry," you retorted, sitting up to drink the water.

"You're resting. Not up for discussion. If you as much as think of putting a foot out of the bed for anything other than going to the bathroom, I will have you tied to the bed."

"You can't do that."

"Watch me."

Too tired of this back and forth, you turned around to the other side, feeling furious. He treated you like a child in need of a time out session. Well, he might as well watch your backside for all you cared. You were too exhausted to throw a bigger tantrum right now though he did deserve to hear the end of it.

He stayed with you, absorbing the resentment seeping off of you. He deserved the cold shoulder. He wanted to come clean so many times before but there was always that doubt telling him that it would rip the bond you had at the seams and nothing would be able to fix it. He cared about the connection you had. It was the only real thing he had left. He cared so much that keeping things away from you proved harder as time went on.

When Wu walked into his office in a rush this afternoon and told him what he found out, he knew it was time to atone for it. Even if that meant hurting you in the process. Even if it meant you would be mad at him for the rest of your lives.

Dragging a hand over his face with a small groan at his own stupidity, he let his eyes fall on you, taking notice of the steady rise and fall of your back telling him you fell asleep. He got up and draped the covers over you before laying one of the softest kisses on your temple, his silent promise of protection whenever things went wrong between you. That you always had a place to run to when you needed it. Even if you didn't want it anymore, he would always welcome you. Wait for you.

"I'm sorry," he whispered against your hair, taking in the warm rosy scent of it to settle the guilt swimming in his gut a little. "I will explain everything to you soon."

With that he got up, turning for the door. He creaked it open then turned back around once more, spotting the dark ball of fur already laying by your side.

"Make sure she rests," he told the cat who just meowed at him in response, cuddling closer to you with a loud purring noise.

And now he was talking to the cat.

The dawn of a torrential downpour roused you from sleep. The sky ripped open, angry raindrops rapping against the glass violently mad as if to break inside. The wind hastened, howling nature awake. Lightning crackled bathing the room in bright white, followed by the deep rumble of thunder thunder reverberating so loud it shook you awake. It couldn't have been earlier than five in the morning, the world still dark and gray outside your window.

The beginning of a painful headache graced you, throbbing in pace with the heavy rain, splitting your skull at the crackle of lightning. You rolled around the bed on heavy limbs, hand aimlessly tapping the nightstand looking for the water pitcher. With a struggle, you pulled your body up in a sitting position only to frown at the lack of water on the cabinet. Both the pitcher and the glass on top were empty of even the smallest drop of liquid. Great.

Scrambling to the edge of the bed, you held your head, trying to get it to focus on the task at hand - getting water. If you had any chance of getting back to sleep you needed it. Something pawing at your feet grabbed your attention. Koru. She sat there, looking at you with those round balls of bright yellow glowing in the dark, meowing. You moved your leg away only to have her paw at it again and sit on it, meowing louder.

Not you too, you sighed.

You leaned down to give her a soft pet on the head for her caring nature, looking back at the empty glass with a long sigh.

If only you could bring me water, little one.

Suddenly, she got up from your feet and sauntered out through the small crack in the door. You would've followed her if it wasn't for the nauseating feeling rocking you like a boat on a furious sea. So you sat back in the middle of the bed, holding onto your head.

A few minutes passed, rain falling harder against the windows, headache turning into a full-blown migraine. No amount of massage or pressure from your fingers or rolling around the bed in different positions could cure it. Absolutely helpless, that's what I am.

The door cracked slightly ajar. You paid it no mind thinking Koru came back from her spontaneous stroll. Instead of a meow or paws paddling the floor to reach you, you heard lean steps, the rattle of glass and the sound of liquid flowing from one recipient to the other.

The bed dipped in front of you with a weight heavier than Koru's. Confused at who it could be this early, you let your hands fall from your head to look up and find a surprisingly awake Enishi holding out a glass for you, filled with water all the way to the rim.

You took it without a second thought, gulping down the whole thing in one breath. It went down your throat so rough but so soothing, getting rid of the stabbing dryness coating it. Asking for another, he went to pour it as you wiped the leftover drops hanging on the bow of your lips. He handed it back to you sitting back in his spot, joined by your dear black fur of ball that nestled by his leg. Turns out deception runs in the family, you thought, watching the two bond over keeping you in bed at any cost.

Glass back on your nightstand and throat somewhat better, a pang of pain returned, sending you to lay back down under the covers. You hoped you could find some comfort now that you had some water. Wordlessly, he got up and tucked you better under the duvet, drawing it up your back all the way to your nape. He spared one more look at you, cuddled up to sleep with the feline and left, closing the door fully this time, taking the small flicker of light he left you with away with him.

The next time you woke up, it was almost lunch time. The dark storm in the early morning left quietly, but the sky remained dull, devoid of any other color but gray. Just like my soul. The sweet smell of food wafted into your nostrils on barely the first conscious inhale of breath. Your stomach instantly grumbled at the delicious scent, only for you to turn in bed and find said food on a plate on the nightstand.

Blinking away the sleep from your eyes, you sat up examining the contents of the plate - dorayaki pancakes. As big as the palm of your hand, neatly folded at the opening and round with a bunch of filling. His apologetic pancakes. Huh. What is he playing at now?

Reluctant, but hungry, you took a bite, letting the berry jam filling melt in your mouth. He left you orange juice too on the side, tasting refreshing after the sweet brunch. If only his personality was this sweet all the time, though that was a stretch knowing him.

You felt better, either from the multiple sleep rounds you took or the pancakes. Not at one hundred percent, but still much better than you did last night. You had a long list of things to go through - talking with you know who, talking with blondie, a whole lot of talking. But for now, you had enough fuel and energy to get down to work on the outfits for the meeting at the club that was in less than forty-eight hours. Yours especially.

You changed out of yesterday's clothes and picked up some of the mess around the room. Finally sat down at your work desk, you browsed through the materials you had available - red satin, burgundy velvet, indigo satin, some green cashmere and black chiffon. A goth lover's dream. Blondie was right, that book did take a toll on you, among other things.

All things aside, red was your color. You always wore red, no matter the occasion. Even if it was just an accessory, like your mother's pendant that was on you at all times. It was you, in either shade or material. Blazing like a flame on its way to eat half of the world if as much as one gust of injustice blew your way. Crackling to a strong kindle if you were sputtering out in the cold of uncertainty. Drenching everything crimson if you needed to protect something.

You breathed red.

Unfortunately for you, you were left without scraps, only with new, untouched rolls of material, which meant you had to start from zero. You were good at stitching two or more different pieces together, reworking them into something new, but you never worked on something from beginning to end.

Working with a blank canvas was your mother's specialty. You never understood how she just visualized a client's order in one whole standing piece, full of detail and precise flair. The most you ever did from zero was a pair of pants that you had to wear backwards for them to work and not look weird. Sketching wasn't your forte either, much more your father's talent. You did know weaving, stitching, knitting, embroidery, anything that was a basic technique with textiles. But everything else was pure luck of the moment if inspiration somehow happened to hit you. Let's look for some inspiration then.

You walked to the wardrobe in the other corner, pulling it open to look through it hoping to find it there. Scanning all the heaps of clothes, your eyes landed on the dress you made for the ball a few weeks ago - the revamped wedding qipao. Enishi's shocked and appalled reaction flashed in your mind recalling the way you walked out in a new rehabilitated rendition of his expensive golden kimono and that cursed qipao. Chuckling to yourself with a pat on the back at the idea, you studied it a little, feeling like it was too on the flashy, gown side to be reused again, especially for a club. High society clubs required something classier, light, somewhat hot, but modest and combat appropriate all in one. Not a huge checklist at all.

Spreading out all the fabric and some clothes from the wardrobe on the floor, you sat in the middle, looking at all of them. Then you closed your eyes, willing the gods of creativity to give you some. You took a few deep breaths, focusing on visualizing a dress and some details, hoping something would pop into your head if you tried hard enough. Come on, brain. Work with me. After a while, you opened them back up, frowning at the mess of fabric around you with still no idea. That usually worked, especially if it was mission attire. Before you could get up and scour some more, a distant memory hit you like a truck.

A long, long time ago, back in Yokohama, your parents had this really stylish lady as a client. She came in one day, at the recommendation of a friend, looking for a dress for an overseas event. Her specs had some of your current requirements, heavy on the classic, save for the combat and hot features off the list. Your mom worked weeks on that dress, getting it as perfect as it could be. When the lady came by to pick it up and tried it on for one last fitting, she was stunned. The dress fit her like a jewel meant just for her, putting her uniqueness on display like she was part of the royal family.

You yourself fell in love with that dress, asking your mother to make it for you time and time again only for her to refuse. "I will make you one, far more beautiful than that one when you grow older, my little light," you recalled her saying softly.

Well, here I am mom, making it myself.

Grabbing the satin, your usual go-to, you measured the fabric and layered it in the shape of a skirt on a mannequin you bought from the village, measuring the exact diameter of your waist and hips. Marking the start of it, you pinned it to the dummy and worked down the hem line, drawing the drop bigger, pinching the material from top to bottom with needles.

Then you tugged the velvet open, working some of it in the shape of a bodice for the top part. You set that on the mannequin, fixing the rough shapes around and stepped back, looking at the mix to get a bigger picture. It looked okay... but the dark red on light red didn't work at all. The satin was too shiny and the velvet way too dark.

The more you tilted your head on the side, it looked even more mismatched. This is where your father would walk in to say, "I think you should change the colours, darling. It looks like a bed of roses threw up on the mannequin." He wouldn't be wrong.

Okay dad, one shade of red works then.

Whirling back to the mess in the center of your room, you noticed a roll peeking from under your bed. Since it wasn't in the pile on the desk, it must've been one of the items that ended up on the floor last night. You picked it up, rolling it open a bit - ruby velvet. Not too dark and not too light either. The dark shade matched the velvet top on the mannequin but it could work by itself for both a corset top and the longer skirt. Adding some sleeves and pulling the neckline a bit higher. Some ruffles on the bodice to give it more depth and frills on the sides to make it flare...

Okay, this can work. It would do.

The afternoon was in tow, sunlight brimming merrily through your window. You just finished working on the body of your dress and the rough shape, left with sewing the skirt and adding some small details here and there.

Shoulders, back and legs aching from standing too much, you decided to take a breather, laying down on the carpet to stretch your sore limbs. Eyes closed, resting on the warmed patch of sun on the cream carpet, you took a well-deserved break. It felt so good to have the sun on your face, even if it wasn't directly from the outside. It still felt so comforting, relaxing your body and warming you up with much needed serotonin.

Stolen away by the peace of the moment, you failed to notice the incoming company, sliding in your room as quiet as a mouse. Since you had your eyes shut, laid on the floor with arms and legs wide open like a corpse, he was quick to rush to your side to check if you were still breathing. Taken aback at the shift in the air around you, your eyes slowly opened to see him, right above you. His brawny, large palms pressed to the wooden floor on either side of your head, keeping him upright, while his eyes searched yours with concern. You just blinked up at him, confused. Thanks to the length of his arms, the space between you was big, though not big enough to still your rapidly racing heart.

Sitting in the silence of your breaths and the white noise coming from the open window, you just looked at him for a bit. His eyes were no longer dark, lighting up in a softer chocolate tone with the glow of the sun beating from the side. They weren't as intense as yesterday, way more tender and warm now. The usual blue rim on the sides, really noticeable when he was mad, was now a deep amber, complimenting the earthy brown pooling around his pupils. He really had the most beautiful and captivating eyes you've ever seen.

"I thought you dropped dead."

Way to ruin the moment.

"Get off me, mophead," you pushed against his shoulders trying to sit up but he didn't move at all from his position, letting you crash right into his chest. You frantically grabbed at the mounds of his back to not fall backwards, instead diving head first right into the crook of his neck. And he still didn't move.

You clung to him like a koala, eyes darting all over the place in a frenzy because if you looked right ahead, you would be met with that stupid neck of his. The close proximity alone invited you to take a whiff of it, noticing that the woody aroma that regularly hit you first was less present, totally overpowered by the rich, sweet and fruity jasmine. You nearly threw your head back with a moan at how good he smelled. Traitors weren't supposed to smell so good, so addicting.

"Why are you on the floor?" he asked, words rolling so husky off his lips that it had your belly tighten. Your body was no stranger to what that tone could do to you, especially so close to your ear that it shook chills awake down your back.

You didn't reply, distrusting your own voice. That only spurred him to turn his head to you. Before it could turn fully and cage you against his neck, you let go of his back forgetting that the hard wooden floor awaited you. Before hitting your back on it hard, giving yourself another pain you didn't need, one of his arms reached out to catch you, splaying flat on the middle of your back. He was holding the both of you up with just one arm fixed on the floor without a shake or a sway of the strain it took on his muscles. That's hot.

"My back was hurting and it was warm," you replied, gulping down air as you met his eyes again. Warm. So much more warmth than the heat of the sun could ever provide.

"But there's a bed," he stated, watching his brown orbs dart to your lips and back to your eyes a few times. Their rapid movement was almost hypnotic, putting you in a trance. The white and golden colours on the ceiling all swirled behind him, not one quite as powerful and bewitching as his own aura. The only thing that gave you a high so dangerous but so heavenly. A high that nothing else on earth will ever be able to give you. Will I ever be able to quit you?

"There's a bed," you repeated, more like a question than a statement, too stolen by those eyes to think straight. And he caught that. The way your pupils dilated and your lips parted told him you weren't quite here. So his gaze turned playful, preparing for a tease attack you wouldn't be able to get out of.

Lowering you down to the floor, he caged you between his arms again as he bent down, closing the distance between you. Breath caught in your throat, you pulled your arms closer to your chest in reflex and feigned protection, only to see the corner of his lips turn up with a mischievous smirk.

That goddamn smirk.

"Tell me," he started, tongue peaking out from the confines of his mouth to lick his lips, so plump and inviting, in devious teasing, "what's a bed for?"

He was completely taking advantage of your dazed mind, trying to play games with you and you just let him, unable to escape it.

"A bed is for... uhh... sleeping obviously," you replied unsure with a nervous giggle, more focused on how close he was to getting to your lips. They've been aching for him for so long it hurt that he was so close but not moving towards yours. Though his arms were almost fully bent on the elbows beside your head, nose almost touching yours, lips not headed for yours at all.

"Just sleeping?" he quirked a brow, pressing into your body at all the right angles, in all the places that yearned for it. The inner side of his biceps pressed into your shoulders on each side keeping you in place. His defined chest sat right onto your raising breasts, perking up slightly under your top from how much he turned you on. His torso jammed flush to yours, moving up and down, expanding with shallow breaths into each other. His hips dove right into yours, between your legs, feeling the mightiness in his pants bulge right onto your core. If he as much as breathed, it created friction in every single place he touched indirectly, overwhelming you in the worst way possible.

You closed your eyes to keep your breathing from spiraling and try to focus on something else, only to shudder at the feeling of his lips attaching themselves to your jaw. They didn't kiss it, hovering over the sensitive skin instead, blowing hot breaths on it, making your back arch instinctively at the near contact. Near. So near. They simply brushed all the way under it, heading upwards to your earlobe, grazing the side of your ear with temptation as he whispered, " What else?", so quiet and sensual that you whined audibly.

Heart pounding wildly, mind spinning out of control, breathing uneven and fast, your entire body so hungry and lusting for a booty call you didn't even initiate but craved like a feral wolf in heat. The Enishi Yukishiro effect.

"Why are you here?" you rasped, head rolling to the side, so dizzy and full with his presence and the sensory overload.

He loved the effect he had on you, turning you into mush with as much as a stare and his touch that implied his intentions with you were either soft and sweet or tainted by dirt and sin. Right now they were the latter.

"You called me over, remember?" he answered nonchalantly, tilting his head to the side with a grin, lacing his hands together above your head, acting so innocent. As if he didn't turn you on to the point you could jump his bones right there and regret it later.

"For the fitting," he added. The fitting, that's what you needed to focus on.

"Oh, right, the fitting." Sobering up like cold water drenched you instead of heat all over your body, you pushed him harder aside managing to get out from under him.

At last, you were up from that sinful place on the floor. Stretching your arms over your head and clicking your knees, you walked away like nothing happened. His eyes widened at your sudden change in mood, but that grin still sat on his lips when he turned around on the floor to see you better. Heading to the work table to pick up the suit he wore to the ball, you caught the grin turning into a grimace at seeing it again, recalling how uncomfortable it felt on his body that day, constricting even his air flow. You shook your head, giggling at the plain disgust on his face.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," you snickered, waving him off.

"Well, something is if you're laughing like a maniac."

"Your face is funny."

Pulling on a scowl that nuked his previous excitement, he got up off the floor, crossing his arms over his chest in disapproval at having to wear it again. He visibly sulked, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. He truly is the most Gemini man I have ever come across.

"Don't worry," you assured him, pulling the outfit off the hanger. "I will make some adjustments to it and dress it down."

"What adjustments are we talking?" he raised an eyebrow, not liking where this was going.

You walked to him and patted his shoulder in encouragement.

"Get naked, hot stuff."

Handing him the pants, you turned around to give him some privacy to get out of his daily wear and into more proper clothes. You liked kimonos on him, you really did. But a suit and tie made the man look like a model. Okay, maybe you just liked how it compressed his biceps to the point you struggled to not salivate like a dog for treats. Actually, he looks good in anything-

Hearing grunts, you turned around to watch as he struggled to pull up the tailored trousers over his broad, sculpted thighs. Sweet baby Jesus. Pulling on each side he finally managed to pull them around his waist. Though that left you wondering if Wu had to help him that day too and couldn't help from barking a laugh out loud. He threw you another look carrying a fair warning and you stopped, laughing some more on the inside.

Walking over to him, your fingers tapped on the material of his tank top, telling him you wanted it off. No questions asked, it was discarded to the floor, leaving the mightiness of his topless form grace you.

Good god. Did he get more toned since the last time we... yeah, he definitely did.

You traced all the lines on his front with hungry eyes, unable to focus on just one single defined dip of muscle meat, assaulted by the cushiony pecs on his chest right under those bow-shaped collar bones, the flexing biceps on the sides, the abdomen that had more packs that you could count consciously without losing count, and the rest of the muscles he had in places you didn't even know could grow muscles. You had to physically avert your eyes before you had a stroke from how hot and hard your heart was pumping blood through your body at the sight. Including to that aching spot between your legs he grazed moments ago.

Dear lord, the men you put on this earth.

Circling around him, you stopped at his back, studying the ripples of fibrous sinews stretching over his broad shoulders and down his extremely bulky vein-filled arms, trailing down the line of his spine running down into the tailored pants, a pair of back dimples saluting you. He turned his head to the side slightly, watching you get lost in the detailed map of his back, chomping down on a finger nail in focus. He could see right through you, fully aware where your mind ran off to so he chuckled lowly to himself bringing you out of another pheromone induced daze as you shot him a "You're so full of shit" look.

You rounded back to the front, following the deep V of his abdomen falling from each side of his waist joining under the material of the pants. You cursed yourself for not paying more attention to these details before, too occupied with the way he rammed into you without notice on most occasions or in the dark. Reminded of his incredibly stupid confession the previous day that he's been lying to you for longer than he's actually known you, the thirst turned hot with anger in an instant. You weren't going to let his annoyingly handsome face and infuriatingly defined body reel you away from that.

Without a warning you dropped down to your knees before him, catching him off-guard. The rock in his neck bobbed down, looking down at your kneeling form with intentions that were less than fashionable and more into the sexual side of things. You caught that look, planning to throw it right in his face.

Getting closer to his groin, you hooked your fingers in the band of his pants, grazing the skin of his lower abs. The small muscles flexed together in response to the cool brush of your fingers. Then you pulled the pants upwards in a swift move instead of downwards like he probably expected, slightly crushing his groin, at which he let out a grunt of displeasure.

As if you cared about that right now. He sensed the change in mood and knew exactly why you did that. It was payback.

"I guess I deserved that."

You spared him a look of disdain, moving to the side to mark where the band of his pants needed to be pulled a little tighter since they were too loose on his waist. Pulling a safety pin out, you bunched up the extra material pinching it, accidentally and a little on purpose also pinching his skin. You hoped he felt that, even if he held back from showing it. Keep your masculinity intact then.

"You lied to me."

"It wasn't my plan to."

You moved your hand down the leg of his pants, making a mark where they needed to be shortened on each side. He was relatively tall, but the pants ran way longer than his height, coming down all the way to his toes, almost covering them. You rolled them over to his ankles, plying them together with another safety pin for future hemming, along with needles on some other spots on the seams that needed to be sewn again.

Then you got up, walking behind him and took the measuring tape to size up his shoulders from one end to the other. You wanted to see if you could adjust the shirt too, since he kept complaining it was too tight. You stared a big hole into the back of his head as you continued.

"Lying is a choice."

"Not entirely."

"You made that choice."

"I didn't want to make that choice."

Tired of this constant, incessant, frustrating and really idiotic back and forth you walked back to his front, arms crossed over your chest, eyes boring into him with pure, unleashed rage. You looked at him a lot more differently now - less like someone you confided into with your hopes and dreams before, seeing someone who couldn't fathom normal communication like normal people do. He wasn't normal. No, no, he was abnormal, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that he couldn't understand you and where you were coming from. He simply refused to do the simplest act of showing a person he cared, because he clearly did, otherwise he wouldn't be standing here playing dress-up and being poked by your needles.

"What do you really want from me, Enishi?"

His gaze fell from you to the ground, staying quiet. The man who always had his words with him was suddenly rendered speechless. Just like I thought.

Sighing, you walked to the bed to continue your work since talking apparently lead you nowhere with him. You picked up the original shirt he had underneath the suit, thinking of ways to make it work without having to buy another one. Because that's what people do. They talk and find ways to make it work as complicated and tangled as things seemed. But you'd be damned if you kept being the only one who tried to make it work. Whatever this it was between you.

You sensed he made a move to you, possibly coming to cage you in his space again and act all broody, leaving you with no way to deny whatever ideas he wanted to plant in your head again. You've done this trust and honor rodeo once and it was more than enough.

"Don't move," you said firmly, without turning around to him. "I don't think you want those pins and needles inside your skin all at once." Though he did deserve them. But even if they dug deep into each inch of his skin it still wouldn't compare to the pain he caused in your own heart. You can't compare the pain of a broken heart with that.

"I want to help you find your parents."

Red. That's what you saw when you whirled around to him, anger running in your veins hot and wild as you closed the space between you and got up in his face.

"Then help me find them. Stop making empty promises and do it."

"I'm trying."

"I've tried enough," you looked away from him, keeping to your own corner.

His hand came up to lift your chin, turning your face back to him. Turning your head away was no use. He held you in place with just the pads of his fingers, searching your eyes for the real reason you were acting like this. This wasn't about your parents or him lying to you. Something else hung on your tongue that you weren't saying.

"What do you want from me, Miyu?"

Your hand latched on his wrist with the intention to pull it away from your face. Instead, it wrapped around it, simply holding it. You couldn't find it in yourself to let go of him once you got to hold him.

"Why bother telling you? You won't give it to me," you gritted out, clicking your jaw in fury.

"What if I will?"

"You can't." You won't.

The way you said it implied he couldn't. Not right now anyway with all that was happening and the fact that he took his pride more seriously than your feelings. So of course he took it the wrong way. He was a man after all. If he wasn't intimidated by something he didn't feel like one.

"But he can."

"Oh my god," you slapped his hand away, "this is exactly what I mean. You can't get your head out of your own ass enough to see me without the other alpha or beta males lingering around me. You don't want to see me because you're too full of yourself to let other people in. You refuse to see me because I don't mean anything to you." You pushed a finger in his chest with each statement, getting most of your feelings out there in the open in the hopes he would finally understand you.

"I see you."

"YOU DON'T!" you yelled.

"I DO," he growled, grabbing both sides of your face to bring it closer. His hot breath ghosted over your lips in agony, fear, rage, and every single negative feeling he instilled in you because he felt them all the same. His hold on you only got stronger with the wave of tension you were both riding without a safety net. A safety net that got shredded to pieces the minute he lied.

"Let go," you pushed on his hands, threatening to draw fresh blood if he didn't let go.

"No," he rasped back.

"No?"

"No."

"Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. Room."

"Your room is part of my house."

This was turning into a screaming match quicker than you wanted it to, but it was all his fault. Pushing and pulling on you like a possession instead of a fellow human being. He turned that small, insignificant gust of wind that shook your bond into a fucking hurricane that was ready to destroy it. None of you were backing down from your egos this time. You've had enough of his selfishness and the keeping in the dark. You wanted answers. Answers he couldn't give you, refused to give you.

Why do we have to fight a stupid war as if we're not on the same side? Why does it have to always be so hot and cold with you?

With a huff, he let go of you, hands balled at his sides. You stepped away, going back to the table to grab the tools and get started on the pants before you exploded. He stood his ground. He wasn't leaving until you were done with him. It took more than an argument to make him leave in spite.

You kneeled back on the ground and worked on the material, not another word exchanged between you for the rest of the fitting. The next one he even dared to let out would have your fist right in his face. This might be his house, his room, his money. But the heart that hurt was yours. Not his.

After you checked that the vest and the blazer in the ensemble still fit him, he changed back into his normal clothes and left without a word. Blondie was next up. Hopefully it wouldn't be another yelling contest. There was no telling how much you could keep being peaceful today.

Cho walked in quietly, waiting for your instructions. He took his designated place in the middle of the room, wearing that olive suit you chose for him on your last market visit. The one that made him look like husband material. You got to work in silence, not a joke or insult thrown around like usual. He could tell something was wrong from how quiet you were and how your teeth chewed on that poor lip of yours, soon drawing blood if you didn't stop.

"Are you okay?"

You looked up, caught by the small worry in his eyes, so soft and brown that you could melt. You gave him a small smile and a nod, not at all okay but quietly telling him to let it go. You went back to working in peace, doing the hem on his pants right on the spot, since it only needed some small adjustments, rendering the waistline good to go.

"Sooooo - ouch," he started, yelping in pain as one of your needles poked his wrist accidentally. You apologized, trying to be more careful. "Can we talk now?"

The universe is having a laugh today. You gathered the material of the long sleeves of his blazer around your palms, trying to finish the last stitch at the bottom before you moved to the other.

"I want that too, making things right between us," you started with a sigh, recalling where he left off the other day before you got interrupted. "I just didn't know where to start talking about it all," you played with the material, thumbs smoothing it out over his wrist. You tried to think of what to say next but came up entirely blank.

Grabbing the bits you cut up off the floor, you threw them on the table and went to sit on the bed. He joined, sitting down beside you, shoulder to shoulder. Letting out another sigh, you shifted to lean your head on his shoulder, feeling comfortable enough to sit and think like that. You just needed a minute to collect your thoughts.

He was one of the few souls you made a connection with. Back then, it was all a mix of teenage angst, figuring out life, and fighting off crime lords of all sizes with a dash of falling in love for the first time. He was danger in all forms, kind of a lunatic and a major walking talking red flag, all in one package. You wanted one, you got all three. Now, he was oddly comfort to you, still the same soul you could tell anything to. Still the same guy that threw himself headfirst into something without thinking, a lot more mature about his feelings. He just saw you for who you are in this moment, not what you were or what you could be. He was still a lunatic in his own way. That wasn't going to go away anytime soon. But you wouldn't really change that about him.

Sitting here in his calm presence, touching knees and shoulders together, you knew that whatever this was, it was so much more than just a simple friendship. You've been through things together that would make others crap their pants. Those things tied you to each other in a bond that would never be broken. The past few years apart made it stretch to the point it nearly broke and you didn't want that. And whether that was more because of the way he acted now or the feelings you had for him before, it was a good question. But that didn't really matter. Because they were still here, still as strong and lingering as the day he left.

You accepted that he was going to be a part of you for as long as you live. But will he be a permanent one? That was the one big million gold lingo question you couldn't find an answer to.

Were you still mad at him for leaving you that night? Yes. Was it something that would keep you away from trying to mend what was broken? No. Not in the slightest. So at least you got that figured out.

Exhaustion came over you out of nowhere. Tired from working on all the outfits simultaneously and yet another heated encounter with Enishi, you passed out on his shoulder, crashing from working so long on autopilot. Your head fell to his lap like deadweight and he almost panicked if it wasn't for your snoring breaking through the silence.

This girl, he shook his head.

He came over last night, knowing something was wrong since you walked out of the office so fast. But mophead was already at your side, comforting you the way he wished he could. Being your support like he wanted to be. There was no point in him staying by the door longer than need be so he left with a heavy heart. Right now, he could tell you were pushing yourself way more than you could take it with your parents, the tailor job, even that one silver fox down the hall. So he just let you sleep, glad that he could at least be of some help to you for a little while.

Your head sat so uncomfortable on his lap with your neck bent at a weird angle over his thigh, that it made him laugh. Back when you were still a team, he used to catch you sleeping even on sturdy tree branches or flat against the walls, without a worry in the world. He snickered seeing that your habit of sleeping in the weirdest positions known to mankind hasn't changed at all. Sliding a hand under your head, he raised it up a little when you scrunched your nose in your sleep.

Cautious not to wake you, he propped a pillow under your head letting you rest a little more comfortably even as your legs dangled off the edge of the bed. He moved to let your hair loose from that tight messy bun, struggling with the hair tie until it snapped in his hands, all of your hair falling in your face. He threw the elastic band somewhere in the pile of discarded materials on the floor, hoping you would never find it. Leaning over to see you were still asleep, blowing the locks in and out of your face, he let out a breath of relief, knowing how godzilla you got if someone woke you up. He gathered all the strands of hair and laid them on your back, gently carding through it as you just slept.

It could wait, he thought. For you, I can wait even more.

Feeling watchful eyes on the back of his neck, sharp and poignant, he turned right in time to catch the gray-haired man at the door like he somehow summoned him. He watched the way you were perched on the blonde's lap in comfort, sleeping the day away. The blonde fought a snicker his way, wanting to show him how much he enjoyed his torment. But by the time he looked back from your sleeping form, he disappeared as quick as he appeared. He looked at you, eyebrows drawn in a frown even in your sleep, hand clutching at the material of his pants. That told him all he needed to know.

The sun was already down when you woke up, rather disoriented and confused at why your hair was everywhere but in the bun you put it in. Waving that off together with the man you slept on, you went to get some food since you've been cooped up in your room for too long. Of course the blonde followed in your steps like a duckling, stomach grumbling way louder than yours.

You made something quick, trying not to attract more hungry souls into the kitchen since there wasn't enough to make food for everyone. Going for some quick tomato pasta, you worked on the sauce while he made the table. The pasta boiled quick and the sauce was done before you knew it. You sat down and dug in together straight from the pot, finally catching up properly since you didn't get one moment alone that didn't include teasing or an overly exaggerated display of jealousy from Enishi.

Cho started, telling you about his missions in the time you've been apart and how he encountered the most incredulous people, lost his swords and how he fell out with the Ten Swords. Funny mishaps from his side that ruined most of his missions had you clutching your stomach from how hard you laughed. Close calls with death had you slow down on your food, heart clenching in anger that he was so careless, that you almost didn't meet again. Mentions of really idiotic stuff had you smack him repeatedly for daring to laugh them off, nagging him about his life choices that were often done with half a braincell.

When it was your turn, you told him about the relatively recent chapters of your life, jumping over your depressed pancake days. You talked about your new found love for cooking and how the gang ate your food like it was sent from heaven or something. And he could tell you loved the small attention it got even if you would never admit it. You told him about the way you tried working on clothes from time to time mostly to keep the memory of your parents alive. He knew how determined you were to carry that legacy with you, though you didn't accept it yet. Then you told him about the missions you went on and how they ended in the most odd ways, especially since you joined Enishi.

Enishi up. Enishi down. Left, right, forwards, backwards. Each mention of the gray-haired man had him look down in his plate in jealousy, wishing he was the one you had so much fun with. He wished you were still going on adventures together. Then he remembered it was because of him that wasn't happening. Because he left.

You didn't go into the obvious things that still hung in the air but at least you caught up on the other more positive things that you missed in each other's lives. Finished with your pasta, you went and brought over the leftover pancakes for some dessert. You dug in more confident than you did this morning, savouring the delicacy fully since you didn't know when you will get to eat these apologetic pancakes again, though Enishi fucked up a shit ton lately and there wasn't enough pancake batter to atone for it.

Cho extended a hand to grab one but you slapped it away, circling the plate with your arms protectively. "Give me one," he pleaded.

"No. These are mine and mine only."

"I can assure you those two will not be missed," he pointed to the small ones on the side, hand inching towards them. You shoved them both in your mouth along with the one you were eating, puffing your cheeks up to prove you weren't giving any of them away.

He knew why you were so protective over them - mophead made them for you. You barely talked to each other, avoiding each other for the past few days and doing everything in your power to keep to your corners like you would fuse and blow up if you sat in the same room for too long.

This morning, he was woken up by the smell of the very pancakes you were currently gobbling down faster than lightning. Thinking it was you whisking up the sweet breakfast, he nearly barged in the kitchen only for his hand to stop on the door, shocked to find mophead at the stove instead, struggling to fold the dough together without the jam leaking out. He would've laughed at the way he threw the pan upwards but it would've put him in trouble and he genuinely didn't want to face a sleepless demon that early.

So he walked away on an empty, upset stomach, but delighted at the "Fuck's sake" and "Jesus Christ" Enishi was throwing around. Putting his entertainment aside, he knew if this went on for longer the mansion would become the trenches.

"You need to talk to him."

"What?" you looked up from the pancakes, cheeks still full of them, some jam leaking from the side of your lips.

"You need to talk to mophead," he leaned over and wiped your lips with a tissue. "Just kiss and make up already."

"There's nothing to kiss or make up about," you shrugged, shoulders sagging on the back of the chair defeated on the whole Enishi subject.

"You're like two prepubescent teenagers throwing tantrums left and right," he started, laying a hand on your shoulder in support. "Respectfully, grow the fuck up."

"Excuse you, I am more mature than both of you together."

"Really? Cause that's not what I'm seeing."

"Then humor me," you leaned forward, "what are you seeing, all mighty and all knowing Cho Sawagejo?" He laughed heartily at the pun.

"Thank you for the compliment but that's not important. What is important is that I see a really beautiful woman, aware of what she wants, hiding behind the doubt that he created between you."

That hit the nail on the head way too quick. The small flirty remark didn't go unnoticed tinting your cheeks pink. Unable to process that you were actually doing this, you asked him for advice. "Well, what do you suggest I should do?"

"Talk it out. All of it. Or at least some of it. You can't keep doing this to yourselves as if the problem will magically fix itself if you just ignore it. So just tell him what hurts. If he's not as dense as he seems he will listen. If he doesn't," he paused to roll up his sleeves, "I'll make him."

"Make him what?" you laughed. "Do a dance or something?"

"Whatever my dear princess desires." Not the princess thing again. It made you go all mushy inside. "Oh, shut up you sweet talker."

"I know you love it," he winked. "You should get your eyes checked. They're doing a weird blinking thing," you laughed.

Okay, talking did help. Maybe he does deserve some pancakes. Not these ones though. I'll make him some later.

A stroll around the mansion helped you clear your head for a bit, getting your jumbled thoughts in a much better order. Doing the last rounds before you got back to work, you passed by the armory when a hand pulled you inside and the door shut tight behind you. Ready to throw hands at whoever dared to lay their hands on you like that, you came face to face with the very devil you were trying to steer clear of, scowl on his face noticeable even in the barely illuminated room.

"You've been avoiding me."

"I have not," you deadpanned going back to the door to turn the knob only to find that the door was locked.

"Yes, you have and you're not getting out of this room until we talk."

"Okay, maybe I have. And I have nothing to talk about with you."

"Oh, I think you do."

Placing your head against the door, you let out a deep breath of desperation. You really didn't want to talk it out now of all times. Today consisted of way too much talking. That and the fact that you were fed up with him and his constant, macho display of arrogance, coyness and everything else that was relatively manly and wrong with him.

Your head was still a mess and you were angry at him for acting like that other dimwit as if they knew how you felt and what went through your head. News flash, they had no idea because you yourself had no idea. You needed time to figure it out but they refused to give it to you. So if anyone needed timeout to sit and talk about their feelings in a room full of guns it was them two. Although, on second thought, that didn't sound like such a good idea.

You heard steps shifting closer behind you until they stopped. His hands came to sit on your forearms spinning you around to him. But you couldn't face him.

"I'm sorry," he spoke lowly, sounding honest for once. You had a hard time believing he actually was.

"You say that now but that wasn't what I felt from you for the past few days."

"I know," he said looking down at the floor, hands sliding down to hold your wrists, then his long fingers intertwined with yours. If you weren't so angry and upset with him you would've enjoyed the feeling more, letting him hold you properly, maybe even holding him back.

"Talk to me," he placed his forehead on yours and closed his eyes. Having him so close, right there with you, made some of the earlier rage drift away.

"I am," you exhaled, closing your own, breathing in his sweet scent. "What's going on with you, Enishi? You were so close and now you're so far away."

There was something about him being near you that made you forget everything, including why you were mad at him in the first place. One of the moments of bare vulnerability you had once in a blue moon. Until he opened his mouth and ruined the one moment of peace you got together in so long.

"I need him to leave. Before I tear him to shreds."

You pulled away shaking his hold off of you in an instant. So this was the issue. He was so fucking full of himself that it pissed you so much.

"This again?" you asked in disbelief that you were having the exact same conversation in your room a few hours ago, and every day for the past week.

"Yeah, this again. It's been almost four days and I would like to know why the fuck he's still here."

"We're going to the Shanghai Club tomorrow, as a trio, and then he's gone. We can really use the extra help considering he knows the situation as much as you do." You took a step towards him. "Why does it bother you so much?"

Why was he so hellbent on Cho leaving? I don't stomach him either sometimes but I like having him around. Was this still about competing with him?

"Is someone jealous?" you asked with a small grin. That only pushed his buttons further.

"This isn't about me being jealous!" he threw his hands up in annoyance. "Is that what you want to hear so badly?" he took one step towards you. "That I'm jealous?" another rushed and heavy step in your direction. You backed away from him. "What if I am?" he got so close that your next step backwards had the back of your thighs hit the table behind you. "What are you gonna do about it?" He lifted you up on the table and held you in place, hands digging into your side with possession, breathing heavy with lust, eyes ripping into yours with the hunger of a predator.

"I don't think you want to see me jealous, Miyu."

The way he growled your name with a deeper tone than you were used to hearing from him, so far from his calm and collected persona, shook you to the depths of your core. But not in a good way. He was being possessive. Treating you like you were his. Your heart pounded for him, your head reminding you again that you weren't his for him to act like this. That this was not the Enishi you knew. This would either end in hitting the bed in anger and frustration like the night of the casino mission, or in another screaming match. Pacing the scene, it seemed like the latter.

This was an uncoordinated tango of love and hate where you both stepped on each other to see who would come up on top instead of doing it together, dancing to the never-ending music in sync. You would never be in sync with him at this rate. Your rhythms were off in the worst way possible.

"You're right, I don't. But I also don't want to see you lose it like this over someone who doesn't deserve it. For a fucking bet of all things."

"You know about the bet?" he asked, rough tone falling down a notch.

You pushed him away and got off the table heading to the door. You've had enough of his shit. Why was it so hard to just admit to his feelings and tell you what he felt for you was real and not just something in your head? That he wasn't playing with you. That those unsaid things, his touches, his words weren't just foul play. But he wouldn't. He couldn't.

"Unlock the door," you asked nicely, though your hand started trembling on the knob.

"You're not going anywhere. Did he tell you about the bet?" the betrayal in his voice was poignant, stabbing deep.

The bet was about you. What did it matter who you heard it from? Why did it matter what everyone else thought? Why was it so fucking important to blame everything on someone else instead of owning up to it? Why are you being such an asshole about it?

"I don't give a flying fuck about that stupid bet of yours." There were unshed tears threatening to spill out with every passing second and you weren't going to let them out in front of him. He pissed you off beyond prevail and thought he could get away with manhandling you like that all this time. If anything, he wasn't worthy of seeing your tears.

"Enishi, unlock the fucking door," your whole body shook with rage at this point.

It had to stop now - this waging war, the pushing and pulling and throwing each other off a cliff like that was all your relationship consisted of. Maybe Cho was right and a fuck would do you both some good. But what then? After that? You'd just be left with more questions and more shards dug deep in your heart while he would just continue being his stoic, ice cold self.

He hesitated moving to the door until he saw the way you bit your lip and clutched your hand behind your back, trying to hide the tremor. He went too far. Way too far.

"This isn't over," he went to open the door, holding it open for you. He looked at you as if there was going to be more of this in the future.

"I hate you," you muttered, looking him straight in the eyes, before you took off to your room.

Those were the last words he ever wished to hear coming out of your mouth. With each stride you took, getting farther away, each word plunged deeper into his chest like a knife. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you like that. But he did it. Heartlessly and cold.

Spending half of the night cooped up in bed trying to finish that book, you spent the other working on the outfits for the mission. Well, finishing blondie's and yours... Enishi's had a teeny tiny problem... actually, a very disastrous problem. Catastrophic sounded more like it.

Still enraged with him and wondering where he usually got the audacity from, you got to work on his suit a little too emotional, costing you his pants. You didn't mean for it to happen. You just dove into the material, turning them inside out to put an elastic band through them so they wouldn't fall off his ass but the minute you put the scissors to the lining to undo the hem stitch, it went through to the other side, putting a horizontal hole big enough for two fingers to go through.

You held the hole to eye level, eye twitching at the chaos that one simple hole made. Not giving into despair yet, you tried to sew it back together, which worked. Up until you dug the needle too hard making yet another hole. With a groan you threw them to the floor, banging your head against the work table a few times.

I can't let him go out with a hole the size of Antarctica in his pants. Bang. But I don't have pants of the same color either and even if I did they won't match the material of the vest and the blazer. Bang. I am such an idiot. Bang. Dear god send help.

Sad, shameful and more rage-filled, you looked around the mess in your room. No amount of cleaning could keep it together, just like your head for that matter. Groaning, you got up and went to pick up the scattered pieces of fabric with dread. What the fuck do I do now? Do I give him blondie's suit and make him wear something else? That would've been a great idea if there wasn't such a big difference in their heights.

As you reached the vanity table, a roll of what looked like fabric fell down, rolling open on the floor until it unfurled completely all over the carpet. Heavy indigo satin. Crouching down beside it, your fingers padded over the nearest corner, feeling the material. It was sturdy, soft, shimmering different shades of blue either way you turned it. Where have you been hiding all this time?

Gaping back at the ruined pair of black tailored pants still on the floor in a heap, you wondered if you could replicate the seam work on this one enough to make them somewhat wearable. It would be tricky considering it's light seam work on heavy material but it was doable. But that also meant copying the whole pattern of the suit, vest and blazer included. Three entirely different pieces, all worked from nothing with less than a day left till the meeting. Starting from zero...it could work or fail big time. You picked up the material and freed up another mannequin, placing the now unusable suit on another one next to it, getting your needle cushion ready for battle.

The things I do for you, mophead. Raise the paycheck, will you?

You woke up early for once, was what you would say if you did sleep. Busy fighting with fabrics and threads all night, you did fall asleep at one point but on the floor, huddled in a pile of material instead of the blankets. Waking up to the soft sound of meowing, you found Koru next to you, cuddled in a ball under the satin roll. Her head raised to meet you before it fell back on her paws.

"Hello, little friend," you cooed petting her fur.

Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you sat up looking around, finding the room still drenched in darkness, the only source of light being the lamp near the work table. The sun wasn't up yet and sleep wouldn't catch you even if you tried anyway.

Grabbing a blanket and your boots, you huddled up and padded the halls silently, going outside in the garden, sitting in one of the frozen wooden chairs. The wind blew harshly on your face, whirling through your hair with a chill you could feel deep down in your bones. Snow was past its due time, its smell hanging in the crisp air, but there was no sign of it yet besides this cold wall of weather and gray clouds that just refused to leave. Just the kind of mood reflected in the mansion lately.

Throwing your head backwards with a sigh, you closed your eyes. Your chest felt heavy. The clothes on you felt heavy. The very water you chugged down moments ago in the kitchen seemed heavy, stuck in your throat, unable to trickle down inside. Something about the upcoming mission made you uneasy. More uneasy than you've ever felt, beaten down by what ifs.

What if this was another ghost track that would lead nowhere? What if this time someone got badly hurt? What if everything was in vain? What if -

"You're up early, madame," said a voice from your right, putting a stop to your rapidly firing train of thoughts.

You opened your eyes to see who sat down beside you - Wu, dressed in layers warmer than the ones of your blanket covers. The old man gave you a court nod and you smiled at him, happy to see a different face for a change.

"I could say the same about you."

"It is my duty to be up early."

"Oh, that's right," you chuckled, eyes falling back to the ground.

Another gust blew as the silence fell comfortingly between you. You drew in a breath letting it out in a steam cloud, watching as it dissipated in the air before another one took its place.

"Is there something on your mind, madame?"

"I wonder what isn't on my mind."

The old man smiled sympathetically at you, as if he happened to know just how chaotic your mind was right now just by looking at the way you were aimlessly drawing patterns in the ground with the heel of your boots.

"I take it master is giving you a hard time?"

"If anything he's about thirty percent of what's giving me a hard time." Wu gave you a knowing look, convinced that there was more to that confession. "Okay, maybe more than that."

"I'm not going to throw water at the parched ground and say he had it hard because something tells me you already know that," he started. You shifted in your seat, looking forward to have a second opinion from someone who's been around these parts longer than you have, nodding for him to continue.

"What I can say is that he doesn't always mean what he says. He's normally calculated in all he does, thinking it through over and over, but there are times where his sense of righteousness takes a stand without him wanting it to, hurting the very people he wants to protect."

"It still doesn't make it any less than what it is," you shook your head returning your eyes back to the ground.

"And what is that, madame?"

"That he hurt me," you whirled around to him quicker than you wanted to, thing at which the man could only grin. "Wow, that came out easier than I thought it would."

His smile grew wider and turned knowing with more wise advice to give.

"We often bottle up how we feel inside and add to it as time goes on. It's not easy to be straightforward with your honest feelings but it's often what can save you."

He was right. Though it didn't justify the consistent lack of understanding, it did explain the conflict going on inside his head. Because it was the same one going on in yours.

"Thank you, Wu."

"That's quite alright, madame."

Offering him a tight-lipped smile, you patted his arm in gratitude. He was like a paternal figure you missed having around. He often popped his head in your door to check how you were doing, you went to the market for food together, or always plotted behind Enishi's back with something. In a way, you were glad he had someone looking out for him all these years, guarding his back in the impenetrable fortress he built around himself.

"I'm heading down to the market," he announced, standing up from beside you. "Do you need anything, madame?"

"Yes, I do in fact," you nodded, trying to piece together a mental list of everything you needed, not just food wise, but material wise. "Actually, I'll just come with you."

You ran to the market with Wu, splitting up between buying food and getting the boys new shirts since you couldn't alter the ones they had no matter how hard you tried. The material was too prone to damage so you just left them alone, noting down their measurements on a piece of paper that you were currently passing to the lady in the shop at the end of the village, where you bought Cho's suit. Luckily, she still had a few models up to size.

Paying her, you took the bag with the shirts from her hold with a thank you and rushed down to the market to help Wu with the rest of the shopping. The sun was barely rising when you got back, going straight into the kitchen to make some food for everyone. Wu stayed to help you, laying out the table and foiling up some of the food for later too.

The rest of the day went by in a frenzy, running between the kitchen and the sink filled with dishes to the brim like you cooked for a wedding, feeding Koru and finishing up the last details on your dress, too busy to sit and think about another growing pit of unease in your gut.

Afternoon rolled around quick, finding you running about to call the boys over for the final touches on their suits. Knocking on Enishi's door, you found him freshly showered just as he walked out of the bathroom. Relaying the info from the doorframe without sparring him another look, you headed for the blonde's room. From the sound of it, he was still in the shower, taking his sweet time. You banged on his door hard getting sworn at.

"Be in my room in ten minutes or we're leaving without you," you yelled, hoping the urgency of your voice carried over the running water.

"Okay, mom," he yelled back, charming as always.

"Your mom would whoop your ass," you mumbled.

You got back to your room, pulling out their outfits and smoothing out the shirts, looking for any neglected lumps or thread that wasn't where it needed to be. It wasn't long before they walked in, throwing open both doors as they regarded each other coldly. Turning around at the sound, you nearly got a heart attack at seeing both of them only with a towel around their waists, hair still wet, droplets of water running freely down two different but very appetizing packs of abs. Miyu, focus. Choosing to move rather than speak for fear your voice might betray you, you motioned them to the middle of the room, handing them the suits.

Cho pulled out his, marveling at the little extra details you added. On top of adjusting the olive suit to a more fitted form, you added golden cuffs matching the buckles on his boots. Turning it over he saw a pair of stitches in the same golden color under the cuffs on each side instantly recognizing what they were - small twin katanas crossing each other, one of his signature moves.

You sat back watching his face light up with a smile of adoration, sending back a smile of your own. Turning to the other, you saw the look of confusion on his face at the suit shimmering a different shade of blue depending on the intensity of the sunrays bathing the room in warmth.

"I had a few... issues with the other one," you clarified, scratching the back of your neck nervous at what he thought of it.

He said nothing, inspecting the fabric attentively, rushing to the cuffs to be met with glinting silver. Turning it over, he let a small, barely there smile twitch the corners of his lips upwards, more to himself but you caught it. He ran his thumb over his own stitches - a small silver ball on each side, resembling his earring.

They might have been annoying, rash, infuriating even most of the time, but they were both your boys. You wouldn't have it any other way. They were the only ones you could count on to go to battle with. And that was your own silent promise of protection to them.

You waited until they dressed up, going around them for the last adjustments, one at a time. You started with the blonde, fixing the cinch on the waistline of his pants so the shirt didn't look too lumpy or too tucked in. Taking the vest, you helped him wear it, buttoning it from the bottom to the last one on top.

Too engrossed in finishing up, you came up to see him smiling down at you, flashing you a flirty wink, fully aware that you had an audience. You giggled back, thankful for the good vibes coming from at least one person in the room. Motioning him to the vanity, you worked through the tangles in his hair getting it to look more like hair than a bird's nest. You threw his old mess of a bandana and made him another one from scraps, setting it around his head. All that was missing was his full length dark brown coat and he was runway ready.

Done and dusted with the blonde, you sent him away to take Enishi's place on your bed, calling him over. He was surprisingly already dressed up, except for the vest and the jacket. If the weather wasn't as cold, you'd have him go out only in that shirt and the pants currently glowing azure like the sea. The top fit him perfectly, not too tight or too large, just spot on, hitting all the requirements in comfyness, movement and charm.

That shirt looked like an expensive piece of art on him, so flattering on his bulky form, the tousled edges and ivory shade taking it close to sculpture material. He didn't just make art, he was art. Though quite an impatient one at that.

He fought with the buttons on the sleeves of his shirt, trying to close them only to have the little fuckers fall between the pads of his fingers, getting lost in the entirety of his big hand. Coming to a stop in front of him, you smacked his hand away and pulled the sleeve in your grasp, closing the studs easily on first try. You patted down the sleeves from the shoulder down, smoothing out the shirt to its full length and beauty since you didn't have the luxury to iron it.

You helped him into the vest and the jacket, buttoning them up for him just like you did for the blonde. He watched you closely, gaze so focused on your face making it almost impossible to focus. Too intense for the slight shake of your fingers, that look made a finger slip off the jacket button you were trying to close, ripping it off the material and in two.

Hell to the no. With a gasp, you picked it up from the floor trying to figure out how it cracked. Putting the two halves next to each other, it was barely there but it was bright as day - the start of a crack right at the top of the button, slicing through the needle holes.

Why did I not notice it before? I swear I worked on his suit so much, checking everything again and again and it wasn't there before.

Sensing a meltdown he would rather not be part of, Cho stepped out of the room, taking the good vibes out with him.

"You've got to be joking," you let out, running a frustrated hand through your hair.

There wasn't time for this. You still had to squeeze in a shower and fixing yourself up and checking the last bits of your dress, since no one can do all of that for you. A faulty, on the face mishap on your first ever creation top to bottom pausing it all.

He saw you rub the outline of the broken pieces of the button with regret, teeth chewing down on your lip with a pout.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. Just... just stay here."

Running to the work table, you pulled open all cabinets and drawers looking for a blue button matching the rest on the suit. You found one, though in a different shade of blue that stood out from the others. You couldn't run back out to the market for another one right now. It would have to do.

Taking a needle and some leftover thread, you went back to him and started sewing the button in place of the one that lay in pieces on the table. Just like your nerves, but those were on the cold floor, long in pieces.

Your hands shook, rushing to get it done so you could go and wash up and get ready. But that thread simply refused to go through the needle, dodging every attempt at taking it through the ear, adding to the stress gripping you in waves again. Just get the fuck inside the damn ear, you begged the thread that continued declining your pleas.

Stopping, you laid your head on his chest, looking down at the floor. Your heart was beating fast in your chest again, tremor in your hands threatening to reach the rest of your body. If you didn't calm down now you risked another panic session and there wasn't time for it.

He didn't move, letting you sit there, speaking up deep and collected.

"Breathe."

A simple word that calmed you down instantly like a tranquilizer. You took a deep breath in, letting it out with some of the worry you were feeling, invisible heavy weight falling off your shoulders.

"Try again."

You tried again, this time getting the thread through the needle successfully. The new button was attached in place of the broken one in no time, going to size up the rest of his outfit.

Relatively pleased with the front, you gestured him to turn around and he complied, so you could fix the twisted collar. Getting on your tip toes, you rolled it over properly, patting down the material around his nape. Your hand trailed down from it to lay in the middle of his back, sitting flat. Something told you to keep it there, feeling the beat of his heart for as long as you could. If only we weren't involved in this mess. With another sigh, you let go, stepping away from him.

Grabbing your dress, a towel and everything else you needed, you left for his room to have one of the fastest showers in history. You washed up quickly, rubbing away the stench of kitchen from your hair and your body, replacing it with the first shampoo mix you could find. Once freshened-up, you wrapped your hair in a towel, moving to fix your eyebrows and pluck any other hairs that sat cozy where they shouldn't be. You then dabbed some powder on your cheeks to give them more color, followed by some lip balm on your lips that you found at the market on a good bargain.

Walking out of the bathroom, you took the dress off the hanger and shimmied into it carefully not to rip a seam or make more damage. Fixing it on your body, you walked to the mirror in the corner taking it in.

You ended up working with the ruby velvet rolls for the entire dress. The bodice was a sweetheart corset hugging the shape of your chest and breasts, worked in with a double inner layer for better strength. You didn't go too far on the corset boning, using only a few overlaying stripes of material and steel straws you took from another corset. Falling down your torso smoothly it stopped at your hips, coming down in a V shape, letting the rest of the skirt material fall from your lower waist down to the ground. A slit ran on the side all the way to your upper thigh, allowing for movement in case things happened. They always happened. You also made sleeves, starting from the overturned neckline, hugging part of your collar bones and your shoulders, falling down to your wrists to keep you warm. You couldn't leave it alone and added some small details to yours too - small vines of roses in a deeper red went down the stitch of the sleeves, the back sides of the corset and the seam line of the train falling to the floor behind you. I can't believe it's real. I made it. I made it mom. I wish you could see it.

The only problem you had was that you needed help lacing the corset, too far on the back to reach on your own. You tried pulling the strips but it only bent your wrists painfully, getting nowhere. As if on cue, the owner of the room entered, stopping in his tracks as he took you in from head to toe. You clocked him through the mirror, fully staring with his mouth agape, eyes jumping around at all the details on the dress, blood rushing to your cheeks making them redder than the blush you applied.

Snap out of it. You're still mad at him.

He walked to you, closing the distance in a few slow strides, placing a plate of some finger foods you made with Wu on the table beside the mirror.

"Did you eat?"

"I'm not hungry."

Your stomach grumbled ratting you out. Okay, maybe you were hungry, starving sounded more like it, and you would've eaten if you didn't have so many things to do.

"Eat something. I'll lace up your thing."

"I've got it-" you started, spinning to walk off only for two arms to hold you firmly in front of the mirror.

"Just let me do it," he said softly, looking at you through the mirror.

A huff later, you grabbed onto a fried meatball and some bread popping them in your mouth. His fingers moved your hair over your shoulder, slightly brushing the exposed skin down your nape and between your shoulders. You gulped at the minor touch, raising tingles on your skin. He picked up the dangling strings of your corset, lacing it up as you held onto the front with the hand that wasn't busy holding food.

Nostalgia washed over you, taking you back to the night of the casino mission, when he came over to your room just as you were looking for help to lace up your corset. He rolled the strings around his fingers the same nimble way he did back then, pulling the bodice tighter around you. You gulped down the rest of the food with air pockets, almost chocking at how close he was. So close you could feel his breath hit the back of your right shoulder.

Since you went double the cover and durability on the top, it didn't need to be too tight. Fully laced up to the last golden eyelets at the back just above your hips, he made a bow knot drawing his bottom lip between his teeth in concentration. Pulling the two round loops to an equal width he let go off the ends, smoothing them to the velvet on the side. He caught your mother's necklace laying on the table. Picking it up he placed it around your neck, in its rightful place, placing your hair back over your shoulders.

Now that you were dolled up and laced up, the outfit looked even better on you. But something still bugged you. The dress sat a little too low, pressing the jewels on your chest together too hard. You went to pull it a little higher forgetting you had food on your hands so you turned around to him.

"Can you-," you blushed looking down at the floor in shame. You've been butt naked in front of him before but this was different. "Forget it," you mumbled.

He hated this. The fact that you couldn't talk to him and refused his help. But one look at your middle and the way your arms crossed over it and he saw why you were uncomfortable. Before you could run away again, he stepped closer and his fingers dug around the upper part of the corset at the back, pulling it higher so it sat better on your chest, giving your babies room to breathe and not get squished. The warmth radiating off his fingers was so welcomed on your cool skin. You had to stop a whine when they left your skin, snapping the velvet back in place.

"We'll be out front when you're ready," he said, letting his eyes fall over you one more time to take you in like it was the last time he would see you, then he left.

"So, the plan is go inside, talk to the guy to get the info, guard your ass and get back to the safety of my bed," said Cho, reiterating a version of the plan you went over in the carriage, that was more fit for his tastes.

"Yeah, basically," you replied.

Stationed a few buildings in front of the club, out of sight of the guards patrolling around, you scouted the place having not been in this part of the city before. It wasn't as heavily guarded as you thought it would be, but there was no telling how many people were inside. Scouting would've been easier if it wasn't so damn cold. The velvet and the coat kept you warm more or less, but your face was getting stabbed by the chilly night air. You sniffed to keep the liquid in your nose inside, eyes tearing up from the cold wind cutting mercilessly through every layer.

Too busy trying to gauge out the number of armed men around the place, you didn't notice Enishi approaching until he was standing directly in front of you. His hand lifted to your face, thumb swiping over your cheek bone tenderly. You were confused until you felt the warm droplets cloud your vision slightly before more of them fell. A few tears managed to roll out down your cheek. The stoic look that he gave you for the last few days was still there, just slightly contorted to a softer gaze.

"Why are you crying?"

At the sound of his stern voice you slapped his hand away. Soft eyes like a deer, voice sharp like a razor.

"I'm not crying, it's just too fucking cold to exist at the moment," you offered him a tight-lipped smile, telling him to fuck off kindly.

"She's right," piped up Cho, shaking beside you even though he had four layers on. "I feel icicles growing in my nostrils. Wanna see?"

"Ew, that's gross," you pushed him away from you before you saw something that would haunt you for a lifetime.

"Let's go in."

Enishi lead the way and you followed with Cho close behind, stopping in front of the guards. While Enishi made quick talk with the guards, one of the them on the side wiping the barrel of his gun with a cloth looked at you suspiciously. Like he knew you from somewhere. You smiled nervously trying to get the tremors in your spine to dissipate. He threw you a weird look before he got back to his gun. You let out a breath of relief when Enishi signalled you to follow him inside.

The long entry corridor was so dimly lit, stretching into a balcony overlooking an even darker area. Red and gold was everywhere. Burgundy satin veils dropped from the ceiling. The chandeliers glinted white gold with so many crystals layered on different levels that it would take you years to count them all on just one. Gold was all over the floor with glittery specks sparkling even in the dark. A big row of tables was scattered in the middle, all of them occupied, including the seats on the big bar at the side. Even the shelving holding the bottles was crystal-like, glowing. They didn't really need any lighting in here, the décor did it all by itself.

Cho offered you a hand before Enishi could, and you took it, descending down the rest of the steps. Walking around the tables, all eyes moved to you at once, some of the loud chatter ceasing to a halt. Some stared at your attire, disgustingly winking or sneering your way. Others quickly scanned you in dismissal to see if you're a threat or just a mere mortal walking around gods of the underworld, way more engrossed in the discussions they were having than to regard you. You assumed those were conversations one was better off not knowing about if they truly treasured life and all its beauties.

Suddenly, Enishi stopped. You halted in your steps too and before you could question it he turned to you, searching around for any potential intruders to your conversation. He leaned closer to you, looking for privacy from even the blonde behind you.

"Let me do the talking," he said, deep dark eyes focusing on you with authority. The kind of authority you didn't like. You opened your mouth to complain until he continued. "If they find out who you are, we might not get out of here alive. So, please, just let me take care of it this time."

This wasn't a warning for you to behave yourself. This was a warning that you were in the middle of a temporary ceasefire and shit could go sideways so fast if you weren't careful. There would be nothing any of you could do to stop it. Not even firing a bullet or breaking a neck. You had to keep a low profile if you wanted both the information and getting out of here the same way you walked in - unharmed.

With a scoff that you hoped didn't go unnoticed, you motioned for him to go on. He threw you another look in seer warning and to your disappointment, he turned back before you could tell him to shove it somewhere the sun doesn't shine. Frankly, you could defend yourself from anything after all the training he put you through. There was a part of you that just wanted to take matters into your own hands, get the info, put some holes through a few of these murderers that the world would be better off without anyways. But the other part, the one that was uneasy and worked overtime to tell you everything was going to go wrong all day, agreed with him. So you just followed behind, keeping your wits to yourself.

Advancing through the field of vipers, you arrived at the far back of the open crowd of tables, drenched into a darker black, the earlier gold at the entrance disappearing into thin shapes on the floor, falling almost invisible if you didn't squint. A deep velvety curtain separated you and finding out more about your parents whereabouts. The same curtain kept behind the sea of monsters that could rip all three of you apart without a sweat. You turned to Cho, catching his Adam's apple bob up and down in a quiet gulp. Even the freak in him that always looked for a fight was scared shitless.

Facing the curtain once more, you took in a shaky breath with eyes shut tight to calm the storm in your heart a little. This was it. If it wasn't... it was over. You'd stop searching. You would get on with your life and start anew somewhere else where no one knew you. You would get to finally live. With an empty, withered, aching heart for the people you grew fond of in such a short time and the ones who have been lost for even longer. Always grieving something that was never found. Always mourning what you found and couldn't keep. Never at peace. But living.

A hand circled around yours, squeezing tight in what could only be reassurance. You knew that squeeze well enough by now. There was no need to second-guess it. Because when you opened your eyes and followed it to the wide, determined pair of shoulders in front of you, you found the man that stood tall beside you all this time. The only person that has been your rock and did everything in his power to help you, even if his first step to you was deceiving. Even if most of what you built together was a lie, it was the sweetest one you've ever felt. The only one who awakened your soul to the brink of both life and death.

The man your heart will always long for.

The curtain was roughly drawn open by a burly guard, rattling to the side of the frame. The hand holding yours fell abruptly, the side of his face hardening as he forged ahead into the fire. Smoke hung in the air, the smell of opium pungent and raw, binding to every breath you took. If you could get a penny for every illegality you've laid eyes on since you entered the place, you would be filthy rich by the time you took three strides in any direction. Because these people made money in one breath, while others laid their lives on the line to die.

This room was larger than the outdoor reception, going around in a spiral on three different levels with red booths and tables lined up on each side. From the immense height of the place this was more of an inner hall, awfully resembling a theatre, definitely used for more private endeavours. Another staircase led down into the middle where a big group of guards and possible triad members played an intense game of blackjack. Supporters on both sides cheered so loud it could make your ears bleed if the volume raised up the slightest decibel. Some hands punched the air in defeat, others laid on the holsters of their guns and sword hilts ready to slice whatever they found inconvenient.

There was one thing they all had in common - sullen eyes, dull of everything but the want for blood. You haven't seen something like this since your time in the fight club and it made shivers go down your spine, spiking some adrenaline into your blood.

Thankfully, Enishi didn't descend down there, but took a right after the guard, leading you through the tables on the right to a set of stairs going up in a marble spiral. You couldn't even see the end of it. You followed the guard in eerie silence that was soon replaced by the ambient sound of violin strings. Thinking you were imagining things from the lack of sleep, you shook your head, but once you stepped on the second level of the hall, the music filtered through your ears.

The tune was almost too hypnotizing not to make you sway a little, like a cobra putting her victims in a trance before it devoured them limb by limb. Though the player was no cobra.

Walking further inside, your eyes went straight to the source of the sound, down in the middle of the pit of dire crime where even more people were dealing their demise in drugs and guns. There, a woman dressed in one of the finest yellow silks you've ever seen, held the instrument close, strumming it skillfully with her eyes closed. Her long luscious black hair, stopping shy of her lower back, moved in sync with the bow on the strings. She was deep into the melody reaching a building crescendo that kept you so focused you couldn't take your eyes off her.

The rising vibrato drove loud around the hall, straining with more tense and rough movements on the violin's body, rushing to reach the climax of the melody. The spike in rhythm made your own heart skip a beat, reaching an auditory high not even the strongest drugs could give you. She carried it all the way through to the last string where the song drew to a stable cadence, slowly drowning out with the fines of piece. And she opened her eyes.

She might've looked like the personification of life itself whilst she played, charging the air with her intense aura, but her jet black eyes told a different story. They were completely hollow, devoid of any of the feelings she instilled in you with the violin mere moments ago. She moved so gracefully even just to simply place her violin down. But she seemed so lost, somewhere inside her mind with no way to get out. Stuck inside this burning world she probably never wanted to be a part of. Just like you. Though you were on the other side of it all, where you still had a choice in your actions.

On your way to circle around the open arch, you passed by her and her eyes met yours briefly. You mustered a small smile her way, appreciative of her strength. She didn't smile, possibly aware of the repercussions if she so much as regarded you. But her eyes turned from those big, sullen orbs to the smallest, barely there crescents, squeezing in acknowledgment.

None of you wanted to be there tonight. Hopefully, you would both make it out for the better.

Cho being, well, his charming self, passed her one of his flirtatious smiles at which she didn't respond with anything other than ignorance, turning back to the bar behind her. Damn, rejected at first sight.

Following through to one table right in the middle of the arch, your eyes stayed fixed on the ring downstairs taking in the rest of your surroundings, looking for any sign you needed to pull your pistols out.

Enishi stopped and passed a court nod of greeting to the man sat down on the other side. He pulled out a chair for you, then sat down at your left. Moving your eyes to the man, you scanned him with suspiciousness. He looked like your average national secrets keeper, roughly middle aged with a small face graced by dark eye bags, high cheekbones and the beginning of an unkept moustache lining above his lips that kind of complemented the sneer he greeted you with.

The black wool jacket he wore over a neatly tucked-in shirt told you he bought his way out of life-threatening situations enough times to build a fortune. No commoner walked around like that. That and the fact that he looked way too confident for someone that was hunted by half the country for being in the know.

Shifting in your seat, you kept to your corner while Enishi made small talk with him. They talked about the state of current politics, the development of the inner and outer trade, touched on the business part, all of those really boring things to focus your attention on. The white wine you were served a while ago still swerved in your glass, captivating you much more than the conversation. Until your family name was mentioned and your attention was back on track.

"I heard you had information about the whereabouts of the Hikari's?" asked Enishi, diving straight to the point since he was clearly annoyed by the man's endless babbling.

"I do in fact," said the man with a tilted corner of his mouth. He laced his hands together and leaned forward on the table, eyes scouring his surroundings in security. "Did you bring what I asked for?"

What he asked for?, you lifted an eyebrow in confusion. I mean, there was no way he would've agreed to this if he wasn't going to get something out of it.

While you tried to figure out what that something could be, Enishi put a hand inside the pocket in his jacket pulling out a piece of paper, laying it out in the middle of the table, open wide for anyone to take a peep at it. A travel pass. Marked with official government seals for both in and out of the country, over an indefinite period, under a false name. His golden ticket out of hell.

The fucker put on a million dollar smile extending a hand to take it when Enishi's own hand laid on top of it at the speed of light, fingers stretching to cover the whole thing. His lips turned into a spine-chilling smirk directed at the man on the other side.

"Tell me where they are and you're a free man."

"One of them in exchange for the paper."

ONE?! I THINK THE FUCK NOT.

There was no way he was negotiating the lives of two people for a nicely written piece of paper with a gold insignia on it. This was fucking ridiculous.

Enishi voiced out your very thoughts, though more composed and in order than you would be able to at the moment because this rat was genuinely getting on your nerves. The more you looked at his smug smirk, the more your fingers twitched really violently under the table towards your pistols.

"The deal was for both of them."

"Yeah, well, things change."

You've got to be shitting me. Things change? The weather changes. My mood changes. It became really murderous right now, you know.

One look at Enishi and he was fuming way more than you were. His tongue pushed the inside of his cheek impatiently, hands fisting the material of the pants and his knee jerked up and down in a nervous tick. Knowing him, this was bad. Really bad.

Keeping your eyes ahead, you reached out to your left where your hand found his, enveloping it around his fist and giving it a good squeeze. You watched his eyes blink repeatedly, body relaxing instantly under your touch. He opened his fist, letting go of the fabric, and turned his own hand upwards giving you a tighter squeeze in response. All is okay, it said.

He knew the brute was trying to pour enough gasoline over you until a spark flew and lit the whole room on fire. But he wasn't going to give him the luxury of an easy way out.

Rolling his shoulder back and leaning over the table, he fixed the man with that one icy glare that meant instant death for him if he answered his question wrong in the slightest.

"It's quite a big bargain, considering two lives in exchange for one and a piece of paper, don't you think?"

Enishi let every word paint with malice, making the threat loud and clear that he wasn't going anywhere without relaying the information you came for. At least not in one whole piece of meat. He sat back in his chair, disappointment bright as day on his face, clearly rethinking his escape route. Seen as he couldn't come to an understanding with the man next to you, his gaze came to you, eyebrows drawn in bold challenge as he took you in for an easy target.

Keep your cool, Miyu. Don't lose it. Stay quiet.

His eyes walked all over your face, spending a little too much time on your red lips for his own good.

Keep calm.

Then they moved down your neck, bathing in the grace of your exposed collar bones, slowly diving down to your humble but really open cleavage.

Don't be rash.

The corner of his lips turned up into a grin, slowly growing into a toothy smile you wanted to bash in until all that shone was blood. Maybe tearing his mouth off his face and feeding it to a pack of dogs on the street would be good riddance too so no one would have to deal with him again.

"Do I know you from somewhere?"

"Not from the places you probably frequent," you shot back curtly.

Well, too late to back out now.

"And which do you think those might be?" he asked, his attention solely on you now, his new object of entertainment.

You could feel Enishi tensing again beside you, his sharp glare digging into the side of your skull willing you to not say one more word. Cho tensed behind you too. But you being you, letting your conscience hit the ignore button, leaned forward and continued, voice dripping with charm and sweetness. The very thing this bloke's kind loved to death.

"Oh, I wouldn't know," you replied with a small giggle, laying your chin on top of your entwined hands. "But if I were to take a guess, it would be somewhere illegal, with a lot of guns and enough money to shove in the panties of naked women," you counted on your fingers each thing, getting more disgusted with each excited nod of his at your words.

The man stood quiet for a moment, the suspense of the repercussions following your small but meaningful conversation really killing the vibe. By vibe, you meant the patience of your chaperones that would face palm right now if they could.

Before anything unexpected happened, the older man threw his head back making a really heinous sound that resembled a laugh. Letting a half-smile on your lips, you turned to Enishi with a Why the fuck is he laughing? look at which he was just as puzzled, then turned back to the oddity in front of you that didn't belong to the human species in any way.

"I like this one," he howled, clearly finding you amusing.

"That's too bad," Enishi let out under a breath.

"And why is that?" he asked, not taking his curious eyes off of you at all, trying to intimidate you.

You were about to deliver another piece of your mind when Enishi went on, stating your status crystal clear.

"She's not on the market," he growled, the possessiveness in his tone unmissable for anyone around the table. That made the creepy stare finally leave you, replaced by the dark one of your gray-haired man.

"That's a shame," said the man, leaning back in his chair. "She would've been a great add-on to the deal."

"No more negotiations. You either take what we already offered or we're leaving."

The smug grin on his face turned into a scowl. You had the upper hand here, not him. He could try and turn it up and down and sideways, but he either took his freedom at the cost of spilling the information or being a dead man. More dead than the world already wanted him to be.

The static silence was all of a sudden filled by enthusiastic yells from below, belonging to the group playing cards two levels down. That veered you away from the fact that the man's eyes fixed on you with a different meaning this time. He took in your necklace again then your hair and your eyes and spoke before you could even catch it.

"I do know you," he started, amusement morphing into a knowing look.

Yeah, right.

"If you're going to say something like 'you're the girl of my dreams' I'm gonna have to stop you right there-"

"You're that troublesome Hikari swine that I've been trying to hunt down for the Triads all this time," he chuckled darkly.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

This wasn't supposed to happen. There's no way he was telling the truth. He must be bluffing to get the paper. There's no way anyone here knew you. Then it dawned on you. The guard at the main entrance cleaning his gun. The men at the reception. The very lizard who called you to negotiate his freedom. This was a trap. Enishi had a mole in his mafia. You were fucked.

"Say a word to anyone and your head will fly off your shoulders before you take a breath to scream for help," grunted the man beside you.

The chill running down your spine wasn't comforted at all by that threat. The nerves in your stomach weren't settled by it either. This was bad. So, so, so, so catastrophically bad.

It wasn't even your fault because the guy made it clear he knew you. He had information on you. He knew who you were. He knew you were looking for your parents.

Your gut was right again. The whole night went wrong. Your parents' safety was compromised, same with the safety of the three of you.

"I don't have to say a thing," he chuckled darkly. "This was the plan all along."

One lift of his index finger had every conversation and extra sound around you ceasing immediately. Guns cocked and swords unsheathed from every side of the level, pointing straight at you. Even the poker game downstairs stopped, followed by confused grunts at why the game stopped.

This meeting was indeed a trap. A possibility that none of you even considered in the slightest. You walked straight into the fire and you didn't even feel the very embers of hell burning under your feet. Nothing could even warn you of this. Not even your gut.

A quick glance around told you there were about twenty of them. Just on your level. You didn't know about the other ones and you had to count the pack at the poker table, the other people in the main room, the reception and the guards from outside. At most you'd get through half of them and meet your death in this stinky crime club. Or apply for a seasonal membership. Maybe that would chill the waters a little. Or money. Enishi had a lot of that. He would surely spare a few bags for charity-

"So you don't know where they are. Good. That settles it," concluded Enishi rather flatly, grabbing your full attention as you whirled in your seat to gape at him.

Settles what? My foot through your face once we get out of here? Probably as corpses but still.

"No, that doesn't settle it-" you were cut off by the whoosh of a knife flying from beside you.

It was too fast to catch who launched it, though when you traced the location of the sound, you saw Enishi's hand wide open, fingers flexing in the opposite direction. Your eyes trailed there spotting two silver knives, not bigger than three inches, lodged right between the scowling man's eyes, blood trickling down the side of his nose and onto the white sheet on the table, drenching it crimson.

Good luck getting that spot out, was your first thought. There went my only shot at finding my parents, was your second. Your third was swimming somewhere in the sea of contemplation when several voices shouted your name together with a rough hand yanking your arm to the left.

"GET DOWN!"

Before you could register anything, Enishi pulled you off the chair behind the table he threw over in a haste. Your instincts took a while to come around but once they kicked in your guns were up and taking aim, shooting over the safety of the table edge.

Enishi covered you from the side, sending smaller knives along the the lining of the middle level, launching them so hard they dug deep into anyone who even thought of aiming their gun at you.

Cho guarded your back, swords already unsheathed from the inner holds of his coat, cutting into the bullets flying at you. Thank god Enishi sharpened the blades before you left otherwise he wouldn't have been able to cut anything, not even a piece of cake.

You took out quite a few of the men rushing in from the front, taking cover behind the still upright body of the man who screwed you over. At least he proved useful for once in his probably completely miserable life. You shot one on the right, hid behind him, then shot on the left. But the safety block around you, ensuring your cover, dispersed way too quickly.

Cho dove into the crowd further behind you, trying to keep guards from the lower and upper levels from flooding inside. Enishi advanced ahead with your bullets, taking on the ones still on your level, now sporting swords since their guns ran out.

Who even expected this to turn into shooting practice? Because unfortunately you ran out too of bullets too. Placing your pistols back in their straps on your thighs, you fixed your dress and blew a breath.

Time to crack some skulls.

You stretched your arms, unaware of the incoming tackle coming from behind you. Two arms, smaller and thinner than yours, wrapped around your middle, the impact of the collision throwing you to the floor. You crashed over on your back as the person's hands dove right to your neck to strangle you, pinning your body down to the ground with theirs. Yellow silk flew in your vision immediately recognizing who it belonged to - the violinist.

She pushed down on your neck, unskilled and leaving way too much room for you to move. Since she was weaker than you, it was easy to turn the boat over by throwing her to the side in one swift kick of your leg. She flew off of you, crashing into the side of a booth. You coughed up for air since she got a pretty good hold of your neck. That horrible white wine climbed up your neck and you shoved it down deep. So not the time stomach. Come on. You handle shittier alcohol better than this.

You got back up from the floor just as she did, running at you with pieces from a broken glass. Her hand flailed about trying to graze you as you avoided her faster than she could move. One swing of the sharp glass had you bend backwards over the marble railing, nearly slipping and falling to your doom. Having had enough of her antics, you kicked the glass out of her hand and grabbed a hold of her wrist, spinning her to land face down on the side of the bar. She elbowed you hard and threw another piece of glass at you that did cut your shoulder enough for your hold on her to slip.

That's it, fuck girl code.

You grabbed a fistful of her long hair, wrapping it around your palm until you had a good hold on it and shoved her against the wooden surface multiple times and dragged her all the way to the end of it until she slid down to the ground. She still got up on wobbly legs, red dripping from her broken cheekbone staining the nice sunny yellow color of her dress. Letting out a growl like a wild cat, she launched herself at you again, grabbing onto your necklace from behind trying to choke you with it. You spotted a nearby gin bottle on a vacated table and grabbed it, smacking it down hard on her head, knocking her out unconscious. She finally let go of you, landing splat on the floor.

Why do all my attempts at making friends turn into befriending backstabbers?

Now that you were free and ready for some actual fighting, you noticed the level was empty. You ran to the stairs and got down to the first floor, spotting Enishi busy slashing people into shish-kebabs.

I should help around.

It wasn't long before you took notice of your next victims. Drawing backwards to the wall, you ran to the marble ledge of the circle at full speed, jumping over it to land right in the middle of the poker table, coins and cards rattling off the table at the impact. Lifting your gaze, you just so happened to make eye contact with the very people that made your last casino visit a tremendous pleasure.

"You," snarled the big man as he threw his hands on the table, staring you down like you killed his entire clan or something.

"Did you guys know you suck at poker?" you smiled at him and his two men, showing your teeth on purpose to piss him off. "You owe me money, sweetcheeks."

That remark was enough for him to slash his sword over the table. You jumped over it rushing forwards to kick him right under his chin. That sent him backwards in a daze struggling to keep upright. The tip of your boot scrapped his nose good, blood dripping down the side of it.

While he got his bearings around, you took on his men, fighting both of them at once. They were weaponless, trying to use the sheer force of their grip to reach for you but you were faster than them. On grabbed your arm and the other your leg and you served them exactly what you served your idiots the other day - a spin with a kick straight to the jaw and a fist right in the chest. They stumbled backwards then came at you again. One sent a fist and the other a kick your way and you jumped forwards through the small space between them, tumbling back on the ground to sweep their feet from under them. They both hit the floor with a thud, grunting in pain. Walking over to them with your fists ready in another fighting stance, their eyes widened and they scurried off the floor, falling over each other on their way to the exit.

Tsk, pussies.

Turning around, your smile faded instantly at the sight of the very angry mafia boss you beat at his own game, stole from, and now gave a nosebleed to. He was way bigger than you in size, towering over you. This was a rendition of David and Goliath you weren't excited for at all. You cracked a nervous smile and tried to run but he grabbed you like a toy, lifting you off the ground and into the air, way above his own height. You swung your legs forwards, wrapping them around his neck to straddle his face trying to strangle him.

He let go of your waist and grabbed at your dress instead, stumbling around to shove you off. You flexed the muscles of your thighs as hard as you could to cut his airflow when he ran straight into a wall. Your back collided with it roughly, loosening some of your grip on his neck but not enough to get you off. This wasn't going to work. So you changed your angle, rounding around to his back like a rodent, thrusting a strong elbow into the back of his head before he could even reach for you. The blow sent him falling face first into the floor, diving like a ship to its wreckage. He tried to get up murmuring some words you couldn't understand. You leaned closer and he grabbed your hair smacking you into the poker table.

"Little bitches like you belong in the brothel," he spat out with a bloody sneer.

That was enough to spur your rage and smack your head right into his, falling backwards on top of him. You punched him with all you had, until his face morphed into a deep garnet. His eyelids were swollen, his cheeks bruised and that sneer entirely gone from his cut lips. He was still alive but barely recognizable when you got up. "That's what you get for grabbing and talking to a lady like that. Learn some fucking manners," you spoke to the hunk laying still as a boulder.

The loud clinking of swords echoed from above. Your eyes travelled up just in time to see a lock of blonde hair tipping dangerously over the railing on the top floor. Checking on Enishi that he was okay with his own hoard of snarling men with blades, you ran to the stairs hoping to get to blondie before it was too late and he was flunked over like a chicken learning how to fly.

You heaved breaths like you ran a marathon, body working only on the rush of adrenaline you got from beating up the boss of the Daos. Stopping by the second level to take a breather, you leaned over the railing for support. Your eyes darted downwards at the spiral, looking at how far away from the ground you were already.

Now's not the time to freak out. Let's save blondie.

His voice echoed with a curse just as you reached the doorframe of the third level, finding a burly guard holding him by the collar of his shirt over the railing. His legs stopped running on air, hands gripping the guard's tight. He looked to the side at the drop below him and yanked on the guard's hand again. Looking left and right, you saw no one else on the floor and took off running towards the guard. You jumped high in the air and aimed a kick at his head just as it whirled around at you. You caught him off-guard, heeled foot colliding with the side of his face, pushing him to the side into a table without realizing that he let go of Cho in the process.

Your heart stopped watching the blonde fall, thinking that was his end. But you got too ahead of yourself. He grabbed a hold of the edge holding on tight to it as you let out a breath. Jesus Christ. You rushed to help him over to the safety of ground, sliding your hands under his arms and grabbing onto his shoulders to hoist him over. He grabbed onto you too, just not in the right area.

"That's my ass, you moron," you hissed, struggling to get him over.

"Sorry," he grunted. "Actually, not sorry."

That made you yank him so hard you ended up falling on the floor together. Staring at the ceiling, you caught a few breaths before the guard got back up and rushed at you with a sword. The blade came down on you as you both rolled to the side. Cho got up before you to pick up his swords, going back to dueling the guard while you aided with a kick here and there. Where you punched his side, the blonde cut his other one. The guard grunted in pain but continued attacking you.

One misjudged lift of your leg had him grabbing onto it with his free hand pulling on it and spinning around, tossing you into a table. The side of your head collided with the wooden edge hard, sending your vision swimming in black and white. Cho spared a quick glimpse at you before he attacked the guard violently, slashing his blade right across his chest, both of his arms and his legs, his back and everywhere he had exposed himself. He did it so many times until the guard fell to his knees in a pile of his own blood.

The world was a red haze around you, ears ringing and stinging at the same time. That awful wine climbed back up your throat nearly getting out this time. You were struggling to get your eyes to work when Cho kneeled before you dropping his swords to the floor. One of his hands settled on your shoulders trying to get you to focus while the other brushed somewhere over your right temple. He ripped a piece of table cloth and placed it over the open wound as you winced. The small prick of pain sobered you up enough to blink properly, slowly getting your vision back to normal.

"You're bleeding," he tapped the cloth gently gathering the small drops of red around the right side of your face, concern lacing his voice. You took his hand away, stopping his worried dabs at your scalp. "I'm okay."

His eyes dove down from the cut on your head to the one peeking from under your hair. He moved your hair away, brushing a thumb over the skin of your shoulder, grounding his teeth in annoyance.

"Who did this?"

"You have awful taste in women," you laughed, regretting it when it sent another pang of pain to your head. "I took care of her already."

"The violinist?! Seriously?" You nodded dabbing the cloth some more on your head. "Damn, she got you pretty good."

Honey orbs came back up to yours after he searched every other inch of you for more injuries only to find your knuckles bruised and bloody. But nothing else that looked life threatening like the gash on your head. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm good. Let's go kick some more ass and get the fuck out of here."

He straightened and gave you a hand, pulling you up to your feet. "I'll go check the other levels. Stay safe, okay?"

"You too. Meet you downstairs."

Enishi stumbled downstairs in the poker area with two crossed swords above him threatening to cut his neck open. He kicked the men in the shins and threw their swords away, landing a hit in one's stomach that ricocheted into the other's, getting rid of them both with a roundhouse kick. Another one came at him and he grabbed his jacket pulling him back to smack right into an incoming blade attack. That one got impaled before he even saw it coming.

Suddenly, even more pooled in with loaded guns aiming right at him. At the noise of open fire, you rushed to the edge of the railing watching as he dodged a few bullets and managed to get cover behind the poker table but there were too many shots flying through, sending splinters of wood everywhere. They were shooting with long bulky rifles as if this was a hunting party.

You had company too, bigger and wider than the last one coming for hand to hand combat. Defending his hits as best as you could, you tried getting some in with knee kick into his abdomen. Your fists aimed for his head until he dropped down to the floor and swiped your legs from under you, landing on your back with him on top of you strangling you.

I'm getting tired of this choking kink.

"MIYU, A LITTLE HELP OVER HERE IF YOU MAY!" shouted Enishi, throwing off a guard that pinned him to the floor out of nowhere, just in time to roll out of the way of more bullets flying past his head.

You looked around finding no weapon in grabbing distance. Reaching your hand down, you lifted one of your legs up and wiggled your fingers to grab a hold of one of your pistols. Your air supply was slowly shortening seeing stars when you finally got a hold of the handle, bringing it up and bashing it into the man's head over and over and over again until he fell to the side. Once you got some usable air back inside you pulled yourself over to the railing.

"DON'T YELL AT ME!" you yelled back down, scrambling to your feet to look for a gun around the place. You found a few, plying them off the hands of the bodies attached to them, but most were empty of bullets so you threw them back on the floor.

"I'M NOT YELLING AT YOU. I'M BEING SHOT AT IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED," he yelled back. You knew he didn't have a lot of time before a bullet reached him. He fought like a monster but he wasn't bulletproof.

As you rushed around, frantically searching for anything that could shoot long distance, you caught sight of the barrel of a gun peeking from under a table. It was a rifle. Its carcass still had a bunch of unused bullets in it. Bingo.

"HOLD ON."

Running back to the margin, you dropped down laying on your belly, positioning the barrel through the opening in the ledge, opening fire on the flank downstairs. You got most of them in the shoulder or the chest, aim slightly blurry due to the wound on your head and the huge distance to the ground.

Enishi looked at you for a second, eyes not worried but prideful. You took notice quickly as you charged the bullet carcass focusing on the task at hand. If there wasn't so much uncertainty between you right now you might've said it meant a lot. And it did but not right now.

Too focused on taking out the men at the entrance you didn't see the incoming attack. You rolled out just in time before a bottle crashed down on you in payback, finding the violinist at your demise again. Does she ever like read the room? She grabbed a chair and whirled it around trying to hit you with it. You grabbed one of your own hitting her with it and she fell to the ground. You checked she was knocked out for good this time.

Running to the staircase, you only got to the first step before you heard shouting echoed from the lower levels. Quickly backing up into the level, you looked for another way out only to find none. The staircase was your only shot. Veering around, you caught sight of the red drapes adorned on the side of a marble pillar, going all the way to the higher ceiling.

Spotting a sword under the guard Cho cut up like a chicken on a gyros stick, you ran to it trying to pull it from under him. Pushing his body over with your leg, you twisted it on all sides pulling on the handle until you finally pried it out. Without a second thought, you ran to the ledge leaning on it to grab a veil. It took several tries nearly meeting your doom since the fabric was drilled into the pillar. You kept trying. When you got a solid grip around it you tugged on it hard until you yanked it free from the side and the pillars it was stuck to under, pulling it over to you.

Supporting your weight on one of the pillars you got up on the ledge, dropping the rest of the veil down into the void. If at first this seemed like a good idea, now that you were looking at the red ends of the drapes whirling in the air about eight meters down into rapid gunfire and dirty restaurant tables, it seemed like the shittiest idea you could have come up with in your whole entire life.

Oh, for fucks sake. Just looking down made you nauseous and sick to your stomach. I hate heights.

Rough voices climbed closer behind you, followed by the echoes of gun magazines clicking open and closed only spurring the knots in your belly. One thing was for sure. If you didn't take the jump now and stayed to fight them absolutely weaponless, you were done for. You'd end up with holes in you and you worked too hard on that dress to ruin it with bullets.

Just close your eyes and jump, you breathed out, trying to calm your rapidly racing heart, beating faster than the bullets fired below.

Save your idiots and get back home to Koru, you reasoned with yourself, holding the sword close to you.

Come on, you've got this.

You let go of the pillar, balancing your boots on the ledge. On a deep shaky inhale of breath, you wrapped your hands tight around the veil giving it another thug to test its safety once more just for your peace of mind, and leaned back exhaling all your hopes and dreams into the void below as you fell forwards, going down into the fire.

Your mind emptied of everything else. The clangs of swords, the whizzing of bullets, the angry shouts of battle from above and beyond you. You made your senses entirely numb to the rest of the world. All you focused on was the wind blowing through your hair as you descended down the material at a faster rate than you imagined, holding onto that piece of fabric like it was your lifeline, your own purgatory between heaven and hell.

Peering down to spot Enishi, you caught him looking back at you in the middle of the crossfire in utter shock. You're batshit crazy, you'd hear him say once you got back to the ground - if that even happened - so until then, you focused on staying glued to the veil.

Looking out to reach above him, you plied one hand free from the veil and dropped the sword to him. He caught it, getting right into a swing at a guy who wanted to blow his head off, slicing through him before he got the chance to pull the trigger. Too focused on him, you failed to notice the rapidly approaching wall you were about to face plant into at an unreal speed. Mere seconds before you splattered into it like a bird into a window, your body reacted before your mind could think it through and your fingers loosened around the veil .You let go. With five more meters to go to the ground. And no one to catch you.

You scream pierced through the hall bouncing off the walls like a ghostly shriek, making everyone stop and look up at your falling form, including Enishi and Cho. They shared a look assessing the situation - they were both under way too much pressure as more guards and thugs pooled in from the entrance. The blonde immediately went back to his row of blades trying to keep the incoming ambush outside of the room. Though he was closer to you there was no way for him to get to you without getting torn to pieces first.

Enishi's mind switched to autopilot, butchering everyone that stood in his way with the sole goal of getting to you before it was too late. Sheer adrenaline flew through him like hot fire as he took off towards the poker table using it as a boost to propel him to the other tables, hopping from one to the other at a breakneck speed. Blades piled up in his way. He swerved blows left and right, keeping his eyes on you, rushing to get to the end. As you got closer to the ground, his mind preoccupied only with you and your safety, nothing more, nothing less. He needed to reach you no matter what. He couldn't lose you, not like this.

Not yet. Not now. Not ever, echoed in his head like the beating of a drum inside of his chest, loud and drowning everything else around him.

Before you could splat on the floor, he jumped off the last table dropping his sword and launched himself up gaining momentum from his run. He caught you mid-air, wrapping his arms around you the best he could. The force of your bodies colliding sent you sideways, landing on the lower level of the hall. Your bodies hit the ground, rolling over together like a ball. You squeezed your eyes shut, digging your head into him, hands grappling to hang on to his jacket for dear life. You slammed hard into a booth, falling on your back with him on top of you, still safely tucked in his arms but coming to a stop from the endless tumble.

You were in shock, taking quick breaths without realizing you were no longer in the air falling to your death but on the safety of the expensive burgundy carpet. Enishi called your name multiple times but you couldn't hear him at all, mind stuck in the loop above the floor. He hauled you up and propped you against a pillar trying to get you to focus on him.

"You're okay. You're okay. Hey, hey, look at me," he said softly, caressing the side of your face. Your eyes finally focused on him, terrified out of your mind but at least you were back in the present. "You're okay. You're safe now."

"Fucking-," you drew in a strangled inhale holding onto his shoulders. "Holy shit. Jesus. I-I'm never doing that again. I hate heights. I hate them so much." A bunch of incoherent curses and rambles spilled out of your lips.

"I know. I know," he stroked your arms up and down trying to calm you down. "No more jumping. I promise." You threw your head back to the pillar behind you catching your breath really good for the first time tonight when he spoke again. "Though that was pretty badass," he pointed up at the spot you jumped from and chuckled at which you punched his shoulder.

Once you were past the shock of it, you chuckled as well. "Well, hope you were watching because I'm never doing that shit again even if you pay me."

He laughed shaking his head at how amusement could hit you at the most random times ever. It was pretty welcomed considering the situation. Peering over the ledge to check on Cho, he noticed the blonde was getting outnumbered, not from the exit but from the rest of the hall.

"We have to get out of here now."

"Couldn't agree more."

"Let's get blondie and go," he pulled you up handing you a spare rifle, securing a firm hold around your hand.

You ran together to the door that was now missing the big dark red curtain, only a strip of material left above. You split up there. Enishi ran out through the door missing its curtain to check on the rest of the ground. You ran to the exit too, propping the rifle on top of the staircase leading down in the poker lounge, taking aim at the crowd surrounding Cho. You pulled the trigger relentlessly, drilling holes into every person around him, not waiting until they fell down to get to the next one. You were a Russian roulette they had no control of. Ten bullets was all it took and they all fell to the ground, writhing in pain or completely dead depending on where your bullet hit. The blonde looked at the pile of bodies lowering his swords.

"Took you a while," he teased breathing raggedly, still standing in the middle of the room.

"Was kinda falling from the sky in case you didn't notice," you deadpanned, pointing upwards.

He nodded just as Enishi came back from scouting the perimeter giving you the all clear through haggard breaths. "It's empty. For now. Let's get the fuck out of here."

It's been a few moments, between you running through the main room that was entirely deserted to the carriage and starting your ride back to safety, where everything was quiet. You slumped back in your seat, adrenaline of the fight wearing off a little. It started raining, faint droplets prodding against the small covered windows, making the atmosphere even more humid and heavy than it already was.

Pending chaos hung in the air and your stomach twisted in tight knots again. You tried to figure out what it was that ripped anxiety through you once more. Because it wasn't the mop of hair sitting before you, looking down at the floor, earlier relief on his features replaced by rage like something was going to crack. The wind blew. The carriage stumbled on the road swaying you to the side. Thunder rumbled deep into the darkened sky. And something did crack.

"You just couldn't stay away from it, could you?" boomed Enishi out of nowhere.

He was talking to you, trying to understand why in the world you couldn't just follow one simple thing he asked of you. To let him handle it. You talked to that scum like he wasn't the wolf in sheep's clothing, waiting for you to reveal yourself. You even went and nearly shook hands with death more times than he could count on his fingers - with the Daos, the violinist, jumping from the tallest level and so much more. All because you were simply and utterly the most hardheaded person he's ever come across in his life. He wasn't going to let you off this time.

"Not when it involved them," you shook your head gripping the material of your dress to keep your own wrath under control. "You know that."

"I told you I had it under control-"

"YOU DIDN'T! If anything it was you who made it worse," you spat out, sitting back with your arms folded over your chest, shooting daggers at him.

"I made it worse?" he pointed at himself, letting out a snarky laugh. "I think it was your ego trying to strike a deal with that scum that can't even be called a human being. I didn't take you for an idiot until I saw you entertaining him."

"AN IDIOT?! You were just as stupid thinking he would take the deal without leverage over us. Did it even cross your mind at one point that he never wanted to give us information and he was only trying to get us killed?"

"Don't turn this on me, Miyu."

"Oh, I will turn it however the fuck I want to. Because," you started counting on your fingers again, "number one, you had us go in there with no guarantee or at least some sort of backup plan. Number two, we left empty-handed with absolutely no clue where my parents are. And number three, which should be quite high up on the list actually, is that you're being an absolute asshole right now." At that he rolled his eyes, tongue poking his cheek in anger again as he looked away from you. "Wait, no, rewind that. You have been an absolute dick for the past few days. So, what the fuck is your problem?"

"My problem?! My problem is this blonde scoundrel you like so much getting ahead of himself to act like your fucking bodyguard tonight, nearly getting yourselves killed ten meters above ground," he said, pointing accusingly to the man beside you as if he committed heinous crimes against society. Well, he did, but not recently.

"Me?!" gasped Cho from beside you, obviously appalled at the exchange. "I only came for Miyu, not for you."

"I only came for Miyu," he imitated the blonde like a child, voice going a tad bit higher than normal.

Well that's an Enishi you don't see every day.

"You didn't even bat a fucking eye when she was falling from the sky, did you lizard?"

"I was getting cut up like a salami at the front door in case you didn't notice. Sorry I couldn't jump to catch her like you, Mister 'I'm the Prince of the Frogs and flying is my specialty'. My deepest sincere apologies that I can't repay your virtuousness with some fucking flies."

They continued bickering, each male throwing in more insults and angrily mansplaining their side, adding to the dull ache already forming behind your eyes. You averted your eyes to the small rectangle behind Enishi's head, watching the path covered by the forest you left behind.

Lightning struck, lighting up the path turning muddy in a bright white flash before letting darkness soak it up again. When you went to look away, a small flicker not bigger than a tiny dot in the distance caught your attention.

Thinking it was just your sleep deprived imagination playing tricks on you, you paid it no mind. But that flicker continued to burn, small, still there in the dark, till it grew slightly bigger, a flame now noticeable even as the carriage got further away. You waited for lightning to light up the path again so your worries could settle a little but the next strike didn't come. You sat forward, squinting your eyes at it unable to make out what the fuck it was. Then lightning struck again, this time illuminating what looked awfully like the very thing your gut has been trying to warn you about all day long.

Danger.

Shaken to your core by what you saw possibly a few yards behind about to head your way, your hands shot out to stop the two men bickering by your side, flailing in all sides as your mouth failed to work with you. They stopped, looking at you concerned. A familiar hand gripped your hand stopping your panicked wriggling sliding in your line of sight.

"What's wrong?" asked its owner, worry taking over the previous release of rage in his voice. You suddenly had the strength to speak.

"We need to get off the carriage. NOW!"

The urgency in your voice was enough to alert them. They followed the direction where your eyes were staring pointedly at, but it was too late. Whatever that flame flickering in the darkness is, it was launched right at you at lightning speed, growing bigger and wider the more it advanced towards the carriage, now resembling a giant fireball.

"GET DOWN!"

Before you knew it a loud boom echoed from under you, shaking the mahogany walls with a horrible sound. You felt the carriage leaping upwards and tilting on its side just like the contents in your stomach. It spun in the air becoming a death trap, losing gravity as it barreled off the side of the road. Timber creaked with each spin, sending you left and right into every wooden surface. You reached out to grab a hold of something only to be pushed harshly into the backrest, hitting the wooden wall with the back of your head so hard that black and white swam in your vision.

You blanked out a few times, coming to only to feel it still spinning out of control to god knows where. The only thing you could focus on was the smell of smoke that started enveloping the whole carcass with no ventilation to go out only inside your lungs. Bile rose in your throat playing an intense game with your guts that you couldn't stomach.

The force of it landing on the ground made a loud crack come from your right, followed by multiple louder ones as the body of the carriage rolled and rolled, slowly caving in on itself. You thought the spinning would never stop. That you would roll endlessly. Until it did, coming to an abrupt halt against what you assumed to be a huge tree bark. The body of the carriage hit it so hard that it split it into pieces, the force of the blow sending you far into the grass, together with a piece of broken wood you landed head first into and blacked out.

Pain was the only thing you could process. It hurt everywhere. Gravity held you down to the ground captive in a steel grip. Your sense of feeling was slowly returned to you, little by little in a haze, before it hit you like a truck.

The first thing you tasted was the blood on your lips, probably bitten in the mid-flight to hell. They felt numb, not responding to your intention to make them move open from being clamped shut. The dragging breaths you struggled to take in through your nose were just as rejected by your chest. Broken ribs, you figured. The question was how many of them were usable. A big part of your insides were messed up, pulse shuddering everywhere but in your chest. It took a while to feel anything else. You gained some feeling below your shoulders and tried moving your hand, successfully lifting your forearm. When you tried more, electricity shot up your nerves and your shoulder protested in pain. Same with your feet, although one ankle moved enough when you twisted it around. The other laid completely numb.

Opening your eyes, you tried focusing on something that didn't hurt. The putter of small droplets on your forehead turned into bigger arrows of water stabbing your face. The small rain turned into a monsoon. Tall trees lining into the clouded skyline gave you no comfort. You were in the middle of nowhere. No one lived here. No one even crossed these roads. The smell of fire hit you from your right, stomach churning at what you would find if you turned your head.

Taking an excruciating deep breath in, you willed the sore muscles in your neck to work with you and let you see what laid there. Once your eyes rolled to the side, your head followed and your heart ached at the sight. Among debris from what used to be a beautiful dark oak carriage, encrusted in golden crest motives, there were only scattered pieces of wood burning to a crisp, fire not extinguished at all by the rain but seemingly burning hotter, sputtering but deadly the more gusts of wind enraged it.

Looming further you spotted the sleeves of an olive suit you worked on for endless hours, ripped to shreds all the way to a pair of biceps, deeply scratched by twigs and splinters. Cho. His chest raised slowly but his eyes were closed, covered by his blonde hair that turned dirty from the mud he rolled through. He's okay, you sighed in relief. You weren't sure how okay since he appeared to be passed out, but at least he was breathing.

Then your breath got caught in your throat.

Enishi. Where is he?

You whirled your head around unable to pin his location, frustrated that you couldn't move the rest of your body and get up to look for him. You pulled on your limbs, stretching every wound into agonising pain as fiery tingles stabbed at your extremities to will you to stay put. But you couldn't stay put. You had to move before your body locked up completely. You had to look for him. He had to be around here. He had to be okay.

You moaned in pain rolling to your left on your dislocated shoulder. Looking into the darkened forest, you searched all pieces of burning wood and golden marble until something that looked like hair and a body appeared to the far reach of the forest opening. A gray dot that was now turning dark, lying in the grass with his head turned to the side that wasn't facing you. His suit was ripped to shreds even more, pierced by the scorched bushes behind him so hard that it reached his skin deeply. Parts of the fabric remained intact on the small twigs, floating in the wind. All the shreds had crimson blood leaking out, staining the beautiful indigo a lot of shades darker.

His chest wasn't moving. He wasn't moving. He wasn't conscious. The rain continued falling even harder making it harder to make out anything from your spot. You had to go to him. You needed to see his face.

Reaching out the hand that somewhat worked, you grabbed a flock of grass that seemed sturdier and pulled yourself in his direction. It hurt so much, ripping your wounds open wider. But you continued. Every pull scraped your knees, twisting your bad ankle even more, grunting with every rock and twig scratching against your broken ribs. Just a little more, you pleaded with your body, feeling the tingles slowly turn to numbness the more you put pressure on them. Just let me reach him, you begged to any god listening to give you some energy. Your nails dug into the mud, making use of anything you could find around you. A wooden plank, a larger stick, grass.

Three more weeds climbed in unbearable pain and you ended up next to him, gripping his arm to pull yourself up for the last time. Your forehead fell into the crack of his bruised elbow, letting out a relieved groan. I got to him.

Your eyes lifted to find him as still as a few moments ago when you found him, head turned to the other side. Stretching your right arm in pain, you grabbed a hold of his face to turn it to you. His beautiful lips were cracked, blood stagnant around his lower one, dripping with the beads of rain falling down.

His cheeks were both cut, one rougher than the other and a gash sat near his left temple. His eyes remained closed. Fear stirred inside of you and you started shaking him with what little strength you had left. The bell in his ear rattled noisily over the rain and your heart beating out of control in panic.

"Enishi," you croaked out, unstable and tired. "Open your eyes. Please," you cried, head falling onto his chest.

You listened for a sound in the blaring rain, being met with a small thud of a heartbeat. His chest was moving but way too slow for your liking.

Cradling his less damaged cheek in your hand, you rubbed it trying to get him to wake up. Come back to me, you screamed inside, leaning your head back on his chest. "You said you wouldn't leave me. Please don't break your promise," you laid a kiss on top of his chest, letting yourself cry. "I won't break mine."

A groan reverberating under you made your eyes snap to his. His eyebrows joined together in pain as he slowly came to and worked to open his eyes. Come on, open them, you encouraged, relief washing over you. You saw the small, barely there flutter of his eyelids before you were pulled away from him.

A rough hand wrapped around your broken ankle, dragging you away. You thrashed in their hold as they pulled you up, kicking back and forth, trying to reach back for Enishi only to be yanked harder. Your world turned upside down as they hoisted you up on their back, turning to walk away from the clearing back on the main road. Punching and punching until your hands cramped, you tried to get them to let you down. But they just wouldn't budge. Not even an inch.

Something hard connected with your head, turning the earlier throb from the crash drilling into every part of your head. Spots appeared even faster in your vision, threatening to take you away for good this time. The last thing you saw before you gave in were his dark eyes opening wide.

You wanted to scream. To let him know he wasn't alone. That you didn't leave. But it was too late.

Darkness took you before you managed to open your mouth.

Flashes.

Images flashed in black and white, familiar with the darkness of the night. Even in colours, too bright to be the morning sun or the brightness of daylight.

More flashes.

You blinked through the haze weighing your eyelids. A pair of dirty boots came into view, upside down walking on a concrete path. Your ears perked up catching some muffled voices. Then your eyes closed again.

The next time they opened, you were upright, propped on a cold stone wall in a pitch black corner. It allowed you to see the rest of the room. Dark light, rusty steel bars and cold floors under your feet, you figured you could only be in one place - a holding cell. Somewhere deep underground from how freezing cold and humid it was.

A set of keys jingled loudly against the bars, hurting your sensitive ears. That horrifying boom still echoed inside your head, as if it was still happening over and over again, spinning into the nothingness of the forest. Someone walked inside, steps composed and lanky, looking for trouble. Dirty dress shoes stopped in front of you. Your vision was heavily damaged from the constant hits your head took all night but you willed to work at least enough to identify the person. Your lack of a reaction made them crouch down before you, forcefully tilting your chin to them. Once your eyes came into focus, heavy but clear, you were ready to set all hell loose.

"You."

The sneering snake looked you in the eye with sheer delight just like the spawn of satan he was. The smirk on his face was enough to make your hands shoot out to his neck only to pull against the metal shackles restraining you.

"Pleasure to see you again, kiddo."

Thank you for reading :) Next

#addicting taste #enishi yukishiro #rurouni kenshin #enishi yukishiro fanfiction #enishi yukishiro x reader #enishi yukishiro x you #good luck cause god know you're gonna need it

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7grandmel · 3 months ago

Text

Rip of the week: 19/08/2024

Apotheosis to Heaven

Season 8 No Album Release (Read More)

Ripped by Neofall

youtube

Requested by eg_9371! (Request Form)

A big part of why I opened up the Request Form, and why I continue to use it for ideas for the blog, is to give me inspiration in areas of SiIvaGunner to which I'm less well versed. There are some games and some rips by extension where I feel completely unable to write anything of substance, because I just lack the needed context for the rip to hit for me - but other times, the form opens my eyes to rabbitholes which I'm all too happy to delve into, through rips like Plantasia 2, mlp racism anthem (comix zone arrange), guess what???????? and more. I've learned to trust eg_9371's judgement on quality as a requestee, and many parts of his massive catalogue of contributions have shown me quality in areas I'd never thought to look, through rips like kris gaming and Plasmaseeker. And so, I said, you know what? Let's give his endorsement one more shake, and approach a rip I'd initially looked past as not being for me. With that, I hit play on Apotheosis to Heaven - and was met with one of the biggest surprise hits I'd yet heard in the season.

Journey is a game that hits home for a lot of people, yet it was just outside of my periphery when it originally released back in 2012 - I was an 11-year old without a PS3. But even without attachment to Journey, Apotheosis as an ending theme to the game hits home to a degree I wasn't expecting, a swelling orchestral piece going through feelings of anticipation, sorrow, bittersweetness, acceptance, all throughout the span of a 7-minute long composition. The overall word to describe it, of course, would be grand. Yet much the same can be said, on the complete opposite end method, for the song with which Apotheosis to Heaven is being mashed up with, Ascension to Heaven by independant artist Xi. Like with the aforementioned Plasmaseeker, this is a song I know damn near nothing about, most prominently being featured in various Japanese rhythm games but seemingly also having a presence within the Geometry Dash community. Yet despite holding even less of an emotional connection to me than Journey did, it cannot be denied just how impressive of a piece Ascension to Heaven truly is, pairing a pounding electronic percussion with mellow strings and absolutely off-the-rails piano rolls - what feels like three entirely different forms of music and speed, mesh together for a piece with a sound I can only describe with the imagery of a lone bird flying toward the sun.

Loneliness, bittersweetness, strife, failure, perseverance - the emotions distilled into me through these two tracks are ones that were no doubt eons stronger for someone with attachment to either of the works from beforehand, and most definitely strong within ripper Neofall upon creating Apotheosis to Heaven. These are two songs that are both pulsing with emotion, yet accomplish it through very sonically different methods, one through swelling orchestral resonance, and the other through a pounding piano-driven rhythm. Yet that emotional core remains, and through some miracle and no doubt tons of love for the pieces featured, Neofall found a way to blend the two pieces into one grand feature - leveraging Apotheosis' atmosphere and grandure in order to use it as background scoring to Ascension to Heaven's insane melody. Even with one piece falling to the background and another to the foreground, however, it never feels as if one is overpowering the other - the two leverage one another's strengths seamlessly for a listen that manages to hit harder than just the sum of both's parts.

Without a thorough understanding of music creation or of either track's true sonic makeup, part of me does still feel uneducated, in a sense, to be writing about a rip of this quality in sound and scale - it's a mashup like many others, yes, yet every part of it feels ironed out and sandpapered to sheer seamless perfection between two tracks that would otherwise feel borderline incompatible. Yet...seeing such quality persist within areas of the channel that I remain uneducated on, feels like part of the magic of the SiIvaGunner channel. We are currently on SiIvaGunner's 8th year in the running, with its rippers having grown all the more able to express their passions and interests than ever before - and Season 7 and Season 8 have, in turn, given us some of the most ambitious, personal rips we've yet seen on the channel. Be it Luna, mi Amor, A Balcony atop the Labyrinth of Lights, The Paragoomba and the Wiggler, or so many more, we've had an onslaught of rips still only made by one to three people that feel creatively driven and magical enough to be justifiably mistaken for months-in-the-making passion projects. And even without a direct tie to its source material, Apotheosis to Heaven gives me that very same vibe: Of one ripper seeing what can be done through utilization of two tracks close to their heart, and going absolutely hog-wild in ensuring the execution be up to the standards raised by so many other parts of the SiIvaGunner team.

It is a blessing that we can be eight years into this channel's life, and still have rips of this caliber slip entirely through the cracks as if they're nothing but everyday, average rips. Today, the hearts of the SiIvaGunner team is on full display at just about every day of its operation - and I am eternally grateful that such seemingly niche pursuits like Apotheosis to Heaven remain part of that.

#todays siivagunner #season 8 #siivagunner #siiva #Neofall #tentative rip name #Journey #Journey game #thatgamecompany #ascension to heaven #rhythm games #geometry dash

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jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka · 1 year ago

Text

No Strings Attached

(Strumming of a Heart)

✵ Part 1

Summary: After an overwhelming breakup you decided to set your heart aside and run free. With the constraints of your past relationship behind you, finding the fun in the physical company of others has been your favorite past time and it all started one night you met a lonely Jake Kiszka in a bar. Although you thought you would never see him after that night, a year later you meet him again, only this time you find out he’s a guitar player in a popular band. You can not deny the intense attraction, embarking on a messy situationship that has only one stipulation: absolutely no strings attached.

Pairings: Jake X fem reader

Warnings: as always 18+ no minors, past abusive relationships, angst, drinking, sexual content, friends with benefits, mentions of cheating, I’ll update more as they come along!

Word count: 14k

May 2018

“How about him?” Your friend pointed the neck of the glass beer bottle towards a guy sitting at a table by the bar with a couple of other guys.

“No, he looks like he could be a little clingy” you replied while also sipping on your cocktail. It was your third in the last hour. You knew you were definitely going to need to be intoxicated to get done what you came out to do tonight.

As your wandering eyes searched the dimly lit bar they trailed the expanse of the bar only to fall onto one gentleman sitting seemingly by himself at the end. “Over there” you nodded your head in his direction and your friend followed your gaze.

“Ooh he’s cute, think he’ll bite?”

“There’s only one way to find out” you stood up and tipped back the rest of your quickly diminishing glass.

“Good luck” they called after you as you walked away towards what at the time you had no idea was going to be the biggest regret of your life.

“Hi” you greeted the man at the end of the bar, leaning over on the cold, slightly damp and sticky countertop and crossing your legs.

He looked up at you through tired dazed eyes, he was absolutely plastered, this was perfect. “Hey” he took one look at you then his eyes slipped down into your trap, your chest was on display for him as you leaned in closer to him.

“You here alone?” You were trying hard to act smooth and well versed in the art of picking people up in bars, but in reality your mind was screaming inside.

“For the moment” he replied, flashing you a quick smile.

You smiled back, one thing you’d learned. Anytime a boy smiled at you, smile back and then you had him in the bag.

“You here alone too?” He turned your question back on you, at least he was participating in conversation.

“Does it matter?”

“I suppose not” he gave a low chuckle and tossed back the rest of his beer.

“So, you from Detroit?”

“Just passing through”. That was perfect, if he didn’t live here that meant there was less of a chance to run into him somewhere else.

You straightened back up and he peaked up as well, wondering if you were planning on leaving so soon. That was your cue that he was interested. “Did you maybe want to umm-” you looked around, although you had planned this out you honestly didn’t think you would get this far on your first try.

He smiled even wider this time, leaving some cash next to his empty glass and standing up as well. He took your hand in his and pulled you away. You looked back to your friend who had been watching the whole time in case they needed to jump in and save you at any moment. You flashed a smile and they raised two thumbs to cheer you on.

Your heart was pounding as you let him drag you along through the bar. It was busy for a Tuesday, but not nearly as packed as it usually was on a weekend night.

You weren’t sure where he was taking you, to his car, his place? You weren’t sure you had signed up to be staying the night with him. Then he rounded the corner. A few girls exited the bathroom, making room for the two of you to pass and sharing a giggle with each other.

Was it obvious? Of course it was. Here you were hand in hand slipping into the bathroom of the bar together.

With the two girls gone it was empty now, thank god. He smirked as he held open the door to the last stall waiting for you to either enter or chicken out and ditch him.

You weren’t chickening out though, you wanted to get this over with so you could move on with your life. So you stepped inside and he closed the door, locking it behind him.

As soon as you heard the slight click of the plastic pieces hitting each other you pushed him against the door, locking lips with the stranger.

Your hands fumbled with the top few buttons of his shirt, giving up halfway and moving below the waist to take a shot at his belt buckle.

You felt his lips pull up against yours as he put his hands on your shoulders gently pushing you away. You looked up at him to see why he stopped you and watched as he wiped his bottom lip with the back of his hand.

“Hey, so, what’s your name?”

That’s it? He stopped you for this? You really didn’t want to tell him your name so you looked down and continued unbuckling his obnoxiously large belt buckle.

Once you got the damn thing undone it was smooth sailing to get his pants unbuttoned and the zipper flew down before you had your hand inside the front of his tight jeans groping him over his boxers.

He stifled a moan, propping each elbow up on either side of the stall, tilting his head back against the door.

He was getting hard quickly, and you noticed a strip of bare skin where his collar had fallen away from his neck so you latched your lips there feeling the grumble of his moan vibrate up from his chest through his throat and out past his parted lips.

He seemed to like what you were doing, so you licked a stripe up the side of his neck then sucked gently.

His head snapped back up startling you into taking a step back.

“No marks” he was looking you directly in the eyes this time and you were stunned in place. When you were talking to him at the bar his eyes looked dull and tired, but now there was a fire behind them as he waited for your next move, a fire you ignited.

“Sure, whatever” you mumbled “anything else I should know?”

He let his arms drop down to his sides before reaching over to take one of your hands in his. “Jacob Thomas Kiszka, at your service” he brought your hand forward and kissed the back of it, never breaking his eye contact as he did so.

You sighed, you didn’t want to know his name, not knowing his name would have made it easier to forget tonight, but here he was with his charming drunk ass practically spelling it out for you.

For a moment you debated giving him a fake one, but ended up giving in and telling him your actual name. He let your hand go but placed his against your cheek and pulled you into another kiss, parting your lips with his and fitting his tongue inside.

Your knees started to feel weak, you had to give it to him, he was doing it for you.

He slipped his other hand around your waist and pulled you flush against him so that there was just a little more room for him to turn the two of you around and push you against the door this time. You broke the kiss so you could take a breath and he followed your lead from earlier by moving to peppering kisses against your clavicle.

His hand on your waist slid down and between your legs. You had worn a dress specifically for this purpose, easy access. To help speed him up you lifted the hem and hooked your thumbs on either side of the fabric of your panties, shimmying them down and kicking them all the way off. Once you popped back up he was smiling at you again so you put a stop to that by putting your lips back on his and resuming the making out.

Things were really heating up at this point, you were glad the moment was finally here. You were going to have sex with this man in the bathroom of this bar and then your first time would be over, nothing special, no one worth crying over, just done and done.

You ran through your plan one last time in your head, it was a simple one. Go to bar, find a forgettable guy, get him alone, condoms in the purse… Wait, you left your damn purse at the table with your friend.

“Do you have umm, some protection?”

He paused his exploration of your thighs where he had been getting closer and closer to your center. “Oh, yeah right” he reached around and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket.

“You know you’re not supposed to keep them in your wallet right?”

He pulled out the thin square, flashing it between index and middle fingers, rotating his wrist to inspect it. “Only put it in there yesterday. Looks fine to me?”

Yesterday? You thought, your head running off with the thought before you could slow it down and catch yourself. He put a new condom in his wallet yesterday. Does that mean he was having sex with someone else just a day ago? How many hours has it been since he was with another girl?

You shut yourself up quickly. He was alone in a bar of course he could be having lots of stranger sex in bathrooms. He was honestly outstandingly good looking, especially this up close, taking the plastic to his lips and tearing it open with his teeth. Also what you were not supposed to do but damn was it kind of hot to watch.

He pulled himself off of you and you watched as he dropped his pants and boxers around his ankles, expertly rolling the piece on before giving himself a few preemptive tugs. He placed a hand on the door next to you, leaning in close and resuming that eye contact you hated so much like he was still watching and waiting for you to suddenly change your mind and go running out of the bathroom.

Although you had said hardly anything to this man before you, purposefully played a game with him so you could use him and lose him all in the same night, as he stood there barring holes into your eyes you couldn’t help but feel like he knew you. At least knew your story, because his was the same. Maybe he was using you tonight as well? Just like he’d used some other girl the night before. You didn’t care anymore, you were here and ready and he was cocky yet gentle, not what you had expected when you’d picked him but now there was no turning back.

You bridged the small gap he left between you, grabbing his hips and pulling him back against yours.

He lifted one of your legs and you hooked it around his hip, pressing your back against the door for more support as he positioned himself, gripping your hip and pulling you down onto him as he pushed up at the same time.

You sucked in a deep breath as you got used to the feeling of being filled. It wasn’t a bad feeling, in fact your adrenaline was spiked to an all new high that flooded your head and relaxed all your muscles even though you were in the most awkward position.

He started to move, knocking you against the door in a way you knew anyone just outside was avoiding coming in because they could hear what was going on inside.

“Mmm, no I need to be deeper in you” he groaned into your ear before grabbing your wobbling leg that was still barely holding you up and hoisting it around him like the other.

With your elevated position you were able to grab a hold of the top of the stall walls, throwing one arm across his shoulders and reaching up with the other to grip the wall, using it as leverage to attempt to move yourself, bouncing off of him as he thrust inside spewing a mix of slurs at the pleasure the change in leverage provided.

Although you had explored with yourself plenty of times this was new, this was intoxicating the burning wave inside your body mixing with the liquid courage still coursing through your system.

“Does that feel good? Is this what you wanted?” He was back at your ear, speaking at just an audible level above the sounds you were making. You nodded your head, squeezing your eyes shut as you slipped your hand underneath his shirt and dug your fingernails into the flesh of his shoulder. He’d said no marks but that was sure to leave one.

He groaned, somehow able to move one hand off your waist and still keep you hoisted in position. That hand came to rest across your neck as he tilted your head back to display for him the vast surface of smooth and delicate skin. His hand continued to trail down, following the curves until he was pulling down the collar of your dress, tucking the fabric under your bust and leaning his head down to place wet kisses across the tops of your breast.

“Fuck you feel so good, I don’t want this to be over” he returned his hand to your neck and kissed all along the skin up to your jaw.

You were seeing white spots on your eyelids, a coil in your stomach starting to tighten as he relentlessly continued to thrust up into you. In the moment you didn’t want it to be over either, but it would be, soon.

You snapped and your body felt like hot liquid running against his. You were shuddering from the orgasm he was giving you, tightening your legs around his hips like you might break him in half but you didn’t care.

His movements started to falter, his steady rhythm falling apart as he moaned. “Fuck that’s so good. Are you still cumming? I can feel it. Me too, I-”.

You didn’t expect him to be a talker, but he silenced himself as he moved his hand back down with the other to your hips, pulling you towards him and holding you in place as he finished himself.

You let go of the stall, wincing a little as your arm was sore from the strain. His head slumped against your shoulder as he caught his breath then he gently lowered you back down onto the ground.

Without wasting a minute you retrieved your panties and bent over to slip them back on, pulling at your dress in all places until it was situated back where it belonged and turning around to pull the lock open.

“Woah, wait!” He hurried to pull his pants back up and chase after you. “Will you let me buy you a drink?”

“No thanks” you rejected him but he caught your hand to keep you from escaping so quickly.

“Just one, I promise you don’t even have to sit with me and drink it, just let me get you one?”

You weighed the pros and pros and cons in your head. The pros being you were really thirsty after that. So against your better judgment you agreed and followed him back out to the bar where you had first met him.

He ordered another beer and you a drink, the bartender took one look at the two of you and smirked before leaving to get some glasses.

You looked over at the man you just let fuck you senseless and realized half of his shirt was still unbuttoned and his long hear was tousseled around. He didn’t look tired anymore, more refreshed than when you first saw him, a hint of a smile on his lips as he fished out his wallet again and pulled out more cash. Yeah, if this was how you saw him earlier you would have walked away.

The bartender returned with your drinks and took the money. You took a sip of your drink and just about when you were about to leave him for good a girl came walking up from behind you.

“Jake!” She called out, making you jump a little at her unexpected arrival.

So he goes by Jake. Flashed through your mind. Wait, you didn’t care.

The girl moved past you like it was nothing and joined Jake by his side.

“Oh right, this is my girlfriend” he announced with no hint of guilt or shame. Your jaw dropped as you saw the unknowing girl call the bartender back over. There was no need for him to get her a drink you thought. He could have yours. You took the small red straw out of the glass and tossed the contents across his bare chest.

Now you were walking away from him. Your friend was still waiting at the table where you left them. Having watched the whole scene they grabbed both your things and followed you out the bar.

You were walking away from him now, and you knew right then and there that you never wanted to see Jacob Thomas Kiszka ever again.

Jake’s POV

As the ice cold liquid hit your chest you sobered up for a moment only to catch her storming off, another person jumping up from a table to follow her out the door. So she wasn’t alone?

You couldn’t hold back a smirk from forming across your face as you grabbed some bar napkins to dab at your chest and shirt.

“Who the fuck was that?” Lila asked you, absolutely shocked at what she’d just walked into, unknowing how you had spent the rest of your night leading up to now.

“I don’t even know” you breathed out. The only thing you had left of your encounter was the warm feeling in the bottom of your stomach and her first name. “She was beautiful though wasn’t she?” Now that she was gone you were already reminiscing about how her face looked above you, pink and glowing with a sheen of sweat under the dim lights.

“Yeah, beautiful and fucking crazy” Lila responded as she finally got herself a drink. “You sure do attract them Jake you know that?” She chuckled under her breath as she took a sip from her glass.

It was evident that she wasn’t coming back at this point so you swiveled around in your bar stool to face your friend. “You would know wouldn’t you? Beautiful” you teased her and she pushed your shoulder nearly knocking you off the stool. She realized then how drunk you already were.

“How long have you been here anyways?” Her tone turning serious.

“Not too long, maybe an hour and a half, or longer, time kind of… got away from me”.

“That’s what I was afraid of” she muttered in a way that you might not have heard her correctly so you asked her to repeat herself. Instead she just shrugged her shoulders and kept sipping.

You spent the rest of the night there with her as she commented on how shitty the bar was and how next time she was picking the spot. You nodded your head and agreed with her. You told her you didn’t plan on coming back here but it was a lie, you spent the next three nights back in this stool waiting to see if she would show again.

She never did, and you had to get back to work. After all, you were just passing through.

Three months prior

You wanted to cry some more, letting the tears roll down your face was a lot more satisfying than the dry heaving sobs your body was forcing you through right now.

Your best friend was there for you throughout the whole thing. They were currently leaning over you with half of their body draped over yours as they rubbed soothing circles into your furiously shaking back. “Shh it will be okay. You’re alright. Everything’s going to be alright” they quietly repeated to you over and over again until you finally managed to suck in a deep breath and calm down.

Thank god they always had a relaxing effect on you because you were worried you were about to start hyperventilating.

You had just gone through the worst break up of your life. Your boyfriend of 4 years, known him most your life. The man you thought you’d, no planned on, marrying.

He was out of your life for good and as much as you hated it right now, it had to be for the better.

“Now, tell me what happened”.

They hadn’t heard the full story yet. Every time you started to try and tell them you burst into uncontrollable tears.

You took another deep breath and closed your eyes, picturing for the last time the man you’d called the love of your life and letting it go.

It started on a Sunday afternoon. Liam had told you to get dressed in something nice for the evening. He was taking you out.

Your heart raced as you picked through your worn in closet, nothing you had felt like it was appropriate for what you were sure was coming. He was finally going to propose to you.

You met Liam in highschool, he was two grades ahead of you but you shared some electives that allowed for the chance encounter to meet each other and become friends.

He had a different girlfriend at the time, Jessica. She was the sweetest, president of the student council, homecoming queen, insanely smart, but not as smart as Liam.

He was his year's valedictorian, Jessica finishing right behind him, always second in his shadow when it came to academics. You could tell it bothered her at times. She worked ridiculously hard to get to where she was because he didn’t want anyone sitting up on stage between them when it came to their graduation, whereas it seemed to just come naturally to him.

When their graduation finally came you attended to show your support to your friends, by that point you had become as close to Jessica as you had Liam maybe even closer as sometimes girls just shared a deeper connection. As the ceremony finished up you squeezed through the crowd of people trying to find either of them to congratulate them on their speeches one last time before you left them to celebrate with their families.

Jessica found you first, sneakily grabbing your hand with hers and pulling you out of the crowd over to a quiet corner.

“You did so great, the last minute changes you made to your speech were perfect, everyone loved it!” You squeezed her shoulders as you hugged her.

Once you finished she pulled away and grabbed your hands again, holding them in front of her as she debated how she was going to tell you. “Can I ask you something and you be entirely honest with me? I promise I won’t get mad”.

You smiled nervously, your first response was to tell her of course! Anything!, but you held back a little since she seemed to be a bit anxious. “Sure, I’ll do my best” you landed on that reply, seemed safe.

“Do you have feelings for Liam?” She blurted out, but she wasn’t mad, more like genuinely wanting to know.

You pulled your hands out of hers, rubbing your arm as you tried to figure out what was the best way to continue this conversation. Should you lie to her? That wasn’t really fair considering she was your friend and she was coming to you with this in a very stoic way. Should you laugh her off? Admitting to anyone’s girlfriend that you had feelings for their boyfriend, although you were all close, wasn’t really a laughing matter. You sighed as you knew there was no getting out of this, she clearly wouldn’t have asked you if she didn’t already know the truth. You looked down at the pair of feet underneath you, both clad in sparkly heels for the occasion, and nodded your head yes.

“Ok, thank you for being honest with me” she rubbed her hands over your arms like you had. She really wasn’t mad? “I have to tell you something else now”

You looked back up at her, there was something else on her mind, something you realized she’d been keeping from the both of you.

“I got into Brown”.

“Wait, what?!” Your excitement suddenly came back to you when she told you the shocking news. You had no idea she even applied to other universities other than the one Liam was going to. Well that was probably the point, she hadn’t told anyone had she? “What does Liam think?” You asked to confirm your suspicions.

“He doesn’t know, I’m telling him tonight at dinner. Also I got into a summer program so I’m leaving in a few weeks.”. You could tell she was also a little excited to finally be telling you, but scared about how she was going to break the news to her boyfriend.

“I’m sure he will be so proud of you” you tried to help ease her nerves, tell her it was going to be okay even if they were soon going to be nearly twelve hours away from each other and starting whole new chapters in their lives. You knew how highschool sweetheart relationships lasted through long distance at college, they didn’t. “Maybe you guys can work out a schedule before you leave? He can come visit you in the summers and you will be coming back for the holidays right?”

“No, this is it for us” she shook her head, she had already made up her mind. “I’m leaving him, and I’m leaving him to you”.

“Oh” was the only sound that popped out of your mouth. Her question before made sense now, but the reality of the situation did not. “No, he doesn’t like me like that. How could he when he’s got you? You’re so much better at me in everything” she frowned at the way you put yourself down and compared yourself to her, but you thought it was true.

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Known it for months. We’ve been on rocky shores recently. I knew it would only be a matter of time anyways. He likes you”.

Your stomach did a flip, partly because you felt bad their seemingly perfect relationship had been cracking because of you, but also because you couldn’t believe that she could be right about him liking you back.

“So does this mean today is the last day I’ll see you?” You sniffled a little bit, damned if you were going to cry, but getting worked up nonetheless.

“Better not be!” She pulled you back into a hug, this time being the one to squeeze on you. “I said a few weeks, I’ll be around and I promise I’ll come say bye to you before I go. Alright now I better go find my mom and dad before they freak out about not getting enough pictures of me in my cap and gown”.

Just like that she was gone. You did see her one last time like she had promised, but it was at a going away party that filled her house with all the people she knew. You felt so out of place at that party. All upperclassmen that had just graduated and we’re excited to go off into the world wherever their post graduation goals took them, and you were stuck here with another two years to go.

The rest of the summer you spent a lot of time with Liam. At first it was awkward and kind of sad without Jessica there, but eventually Liam opened up to you and like she said he’d confessed his feelings shortly before moving into the dorms.

Despite your differences your relationship grew steady quickly.

You were over the moon about dating someone in university, spending as much time as you could going the next few towns over to visit him. Highschool fell into the background for you, only doing as much as you needed to get into the same university as him. Then there you were, finally really together.

When he helped you move into your dorm your first fall at university was the first time you told him you loved him. You didn’t expect him to say it back, there was still a lot of ground to be made between the two of you, one of which being sleeping together. Liam told you he loved you back, your heart swelled and you tried to make your move, bringing him into a long passionate kiss. He stopped you before you could pull your shirt off, explaining that he wanted to wait until marriage.

You were kind of bummed out, stuff like that didn’t really matter much to you, but you let it go because more importantly he loved you.

Back to the Sunday afternoon. You settled with a dark blue dress. One that had gold shimmers woven into the fabric of the dress. You thought the lights would catch just right in the pictures you would be taking. Picturing it already him getting down on one knee and you fighting back tears, you were excited.

You were in for a let down though when you pulled up to the restaurant and Liam threw the car in park, leaving you inside to go meet a group of guys at the front door. You left yourself out of the car, bringing your purses strap over your shoulder as you approached the group, confused.

“Come meet my girlfriend!” Liam told them, walking over to you and placing his hand on your lower back to speed you up. What was his deal?

He introduced you to the guys who all agreed they should go back in so you could meet their girlfriends they’d left inside. It became evident very quickly as you followed them into a private party room that this wasn’t a proposal dinner, but a get together with people from his department.

His hand stayed firmly on your back as you walked inside together, continuing to push you around and guide you towards groups of people to be introduced to.

So him asking you to wear something nice wasn’t to look good in pictures you’d be treasuring for years, but to show you off.

You suddenly weren’t hungry any longer, but when a waitress passed by offering drinks you weren’t about to pass that up.

You took a drink after each person he made you meet, standing there and forcing a smile like the pretty quiet thing he always wanted you to be at events like these.

By the time he was done pushing you around you were done with your current drink. He finally let you go and you found another waitress to get another glass then took a seat at the back of the room at an empty table.

You never set your drink down as you watched him circling back around the room, spending more time with a few specific people than others. He looked perfectly far away through the refraction of the glass.

The evening went on like that for a while and a collection of empty glasses were starting to pile up on the table next to you but no one seemed to care. No one except your boyfriend who was making a b-line in your direction.

“That’s enough drinks. I don’t want you embarrassing me”. He said in a hush as he leaned behind you.

Embarrass him? What about how embarrassed I feel? You wanted to tell him how you felt, how you thought after the week leading up to tonight he had left you bread crumbs, telling you how important this weekend was for us and our future. How you thought that meant a glass of champagne and a ring not whatever this event even was, but you knew he wouldn’t want to hear it right now.

“Fine, I’ll just stop drinking this free booze here and drink ours when we get back home” you replied to him, glancing behind you to see him biting the inside of his cheek. He had commented on your drinking on multiple occasions. It’s not like you were a stumbling drunk, you just enjoyed your first few years of college like anyone else and now that you were legal to drink in public you liked to indulge yourself from time to time. Tonight seemed like a night to enjoy yourself, he certainly was.

You could tell he wanted to say something else, scolding you like he did a thousand times when you ‘weren’t acting like you were mature enough to be around him and his friends’, but he bit the inside of his cheek instead of risking making a scene.

“Excuse me, I’ll be in the restroom. Maybe go introduce yourself to a few more people. I don’t want to see you sitting here alone when I get back” he cupped his hand down onto your shoulder and gave it a squeeze before walking out the room.

You sighed and left your empty table to go find the one other girl you barely recognized to latch onto until he got back.

“Hey!” She called to you when she saw you making your way over to her. You pulled your smile back on but as you made your way across the room your knees wobbled and you nearly fell.

Fortunately you caught yourself by grabbing onto a nearby man’s shoulder. Unfortunately he spilled his drink all over your dress.

Fuck! You yelled at yourself inside your head. If Liam sees me like this he’ll be pissed I made him leave the party early to go home and change. You hurried out the room, not even pausing to apologize. You were embarrassed that you had gotten a little too drunk, but more afraid of Liam getting upset. You searched the restaurant for the restrooms, but stopped yourself when you realized you could cross paths with him too easily this way.

Instead you made the decision to go outside knowing you had some napkins and a bottle of water in your car. That and the breeze outside to dry you off and sober you up a little would work.

The parking lot was small but packed full with cars, most likely due to the event going on inside. You didn’t see many others in the actual restaurant but then again you were in a hurry.

Sitting in the passenger's seat you wiped your chest down, pouring the remainder of the water onto a napkin, some spilling out onto the ground between your feet to try and get as much sticky off of you as possible.

The front of your dress was still soaked. Thankfully the dark color helped hide it a little, but knowing Liam he would notice still.

You sighed, you did want to go home, maybe getting him to agree to leave and deal with him being a little pissy in the car ride back would be worth it.

Standing up you pulled at the hem of your dress, putting everything back in its place and gently closing the car door. When you turned to head back inside you saw a sight you were not at all expecting.

Liam was standing outside the restaurant. You wondered if he was looking for you, but his eyes were fixed on someone else and he was smiling from ear to ear. A beautiful girl approached him, placing her hands around his neck and giving a quick kiss on his cheek. He wrapped one arm around her waist, placing his palm against the small of her back just like he so often did with you. She pulled away but he kept his hand on her as he opened the door and led her inside.

What the fuck was that? You thought to yourself. Sure Liam was very impressionable and charmingly friendly towards most people, but something about watching that interaction made your stomach churn. Nothing about it was particularly incriminating, besides some girl’s hands and lips all over your boyfriend, but they seemed to be very familiar with each other and that didn’t sit right with you.

If you had been in a better mood, if this had been the dinner you expected it to be, if you hadn’t been drinking, then you would have brushed it off, but those were just ifs and instead you were fuming.

If you even so much as smiled for too long at another guy Liam would be angry with you, so why did you have to constantly put up with him acting any way he wanted to?

You marched back inside the restaurant and saw that although they had put some space between them, Liam and the girl were standing in a small group. A waitress walked past and Liam stopped her to grab a glass and offered it to the girl. Oh so she can drink but you can’t?

The man whose drink was spilled on you tried to stop and ask if you were ok, but you ignored him. Only concerned with making it to Liam and getting the two of you out of here.

“I need to go, someone spilled a drink on my dress” you arrived and interrupted his conversation to which he slightly rolled his eyes.

“Of course,” he sighed, pinching the area between his brows, “I’m not finished here yet. Why don’t you take the car back to your place and I’ll get a ride back to mine with one of the guys?”

Well, he didn’t sound pissed, just disappointed which unfortunately made you feel a little worse about it.

“You don’t want me to wait at yours? How much longer are you going to be?” You flashed your eyes at the girl next to him who was caught up in talking with the rest of the group.

“We will probably go out for a bit after this, it will be late” he replied. Something didn’t add up to you. He had invited you here, but did he make plans to go out with his friends after you’d arrived or had he planned to ditch you the entire time?

“Alright, we’ll I don’t have classes until the afternoon tomorrow, I’ll bring the car back by in the morning and get mine”. You gave him an awkward half hug, trying not to get the front of your wet dress too close to his nice shirt. “Love you” you gave him in parting.

“I’ll see you in the morning, get home safe”.

You made it home in one piece despite how much you’d had to drink. In fact, you were surprised Liam had let you drive knowing how many cocktails you’d had.

After the second shower of the day to rinse off the remainder of the spill and wash your face free of the extra makeup you’d put on, you changed into some comfy clothes and made your way into the tiny kitchen to find something quick to eat.

Your apartment was much smaller compared to Liam’s. Well you didn’t have the financial support from your parents like he had, relying heavily on your scholarships, student aid, and even a part time job while he took extra classes and had an unpaid internship.

You spent most of your time together over there where there was more space and you wished he would just ask you to move in, but he stuck to his beliefs and was firmly against living together until you were at least engaged. That was another reason why you’d expected him to propose tonight. There had been comments he’d made about ‘when we start living together’ like it was coming sooner than later.

After heating something up you plopped onto your two person couch and clicked on the TV. In addition to being hungry, you were wide awake, so you decided to catch up on some of your cheat shows as you ate.

Three episodes in and you still weren’t tired. You went into your room where you’d left your phone to charge, thinking surely you’d have a text or a missed call from Liam. Once you unplugged the device and the screen illuminated you saw there was nothing.

It was a little over half an hour to midnight. Liam didn’t go out with his friends very often, but when he did, he did tend to stay out into the early hours of the morning.

Your thumb swiped and tapped along the screen until his contact was pulled up and you hit the call button. The phone rang just a couple of times then went to voicemail.

This was so stupid. You had been so excited this afternoon, only to end the evening alone in your apartment without even a text to say good night.

Fuck this. You snatched up your keys and kicked on some shoes before locking your door behind you and getting back in the car. Even if he was going to be out for longer, you’d wait for him, you wanted to be with him.

When you pulled up to the apartment complex you found that there was someone already parked in his spot. You waited for a moment to see if anyone would come out and move it, besides he'd said his friends were giving him a ride back, but no one ever came. Both the car and his apartment windows were dark.

You drove further down to find an open visitor spot then made your way back to the front door, using your spare key to unlock it and go inside.

You entered quietly in case he was indeed already back and sleeping, but it wasn’t quiet inside.

Cries and moans were being carried down the hallway. You were in absolute shock and denial, your first thought being one of his pretentious friends had a girl over, but then you heard her crying out his name.

You flew down the hallway, throwing the door open and flicking on the light to expose them in the act.

Liam was naked, you’d never seen him more than shirtless before, but here he was only a sheet keeping him somewhat decent and he was on top of the girl from the party.

“Who the fuck?!” The girl squealed, knocking Liam off of her and grabbing the sheet to cover her chest.

“Who the FUCK is right!” You were yelling, nothing but rage filling your entire body as Liam jumped out of the bed you had spent so many nights laying in with him trying to keep control. He pulled a pair of shorts on and ran over to guide you away from the door so she could get dressed and you could talk before you did something rash like jump her and scratch her eyes out.

“Baby, baby, come here sit down” he wrapped his hand around your arm and guided you down the hallway. His touch was burning into your skin, you wanted him off of you, didn’t want to hear a damn thing he had to say. You tried to swing your arm away from him but his grip tightened and he practically threw you onto the couch.

He crouched onto the ground in front of you, placing his hands on your thighs and trapping you there.

“I’m so sorry! I had a little too much to drink!” He tried to explain, reaching up to wipe away the tears that were starting to fall and roll down your cheeks.

“You had too much to drink?!” You repeated, your voice cracking out of your tight throat in a way that made it feel sore to even try and speak. “So you had to fuck someone in our bed? What happened to waiting until marriage?! I thought you loved me!” The tears were pouring out of your eyes now like a faucet turned all the way open. You didn’t even attempt to wipe them, there was no way your face was going to be dry again tonight.

“I do love you!” He squeezed your thigh, his fingers digging into the skin in an unsettling way. “You have to realize, it’s different for men”.

Your brows furrowed, what was he trying to imply? You didn’t respond. Only stared at him, thankful you could hardly make out his face through the water works.

“I love you, and I want to marry you, but until then I need some personal time, to get it all out before we commit to each other”.

Oh. So he was allowed to cheat on you to sleep with others but you weren’t. You had to remain his unspoiled prize until he trapped you forever.

Everything wrong with this picture was slapping you in the face. A blinking red light searing your corneas.

You tried to get up, but his hands remained firm on your thighs, his nails starting to dig into the flesh. “Let me go!” You were yelling again, kicking your legs trying to get away but he stood up and hovered over you, squeezing your knees between his legs and placing his hands on your shoulders to keep you still.

“Stop!” He was matching your volume, surely his neighbors were being woken up at this point from all of the commotion.

Panic set in as he held you down onto the couch. He had never gotten this physical with you before, and it was starting to scare you a little bit.

“Hey!” The girl had redressed and was standing in the hallway watching the two of you struggle. “Let her go” she was yelling too, but fortunately she seemed to be on your side.

“Stay out of it and get the fuck out of here” he turned toward her and you took that as your opportunity to shove him to the side as hard as you could and jump up.

You ran for the door and the girl picked up a few books sitting on the bookshelf in the hallway to throw at him and keep him from chasing after either of you.

“Oh my god, thank you” you yelled as you both made a dash for your cars.

“I got you girl, what an ass I hope you dump him!” She replied before ducking into the driver's seat and backing out.

She has been the one parked in his spot, so your car was next to hers. It had been since that afternoon when you came over dressed and ready for what you thought was going to be the best night.

You backed out like a bat out of hell, just trying to get away before he had a chance to come out and chase after you, lure you back inside, lie to you some more.

When you were clear of the apartment complex and a little ways up the road you pulled into a gas station and let your forehead fall onto the steering wheel, sobbing as you tried and failed to calm yourself enough to drive home.

Then it hit you, going home wasn’t the best option, if he came looking for you that’s the first place he’d go.

Instead you fumbled for your phone that you had thrown into the passenger seat when you jumped into your car. Retrieving it you pulled up the contact for your best friend, hoping they would pick up this late.

“Hello?” They answered after a few rings, not sounding very excited to talk to you unlike usual, but also like they were still half way asleep.

When you called out their name through a fit of sobs their voice went from sleepy to concerned.

“Can I come over? I’m sorry, I just really need some help right now” you begged feeling like an absolute mess of a friend.

“Hey, don’t ever be sorry to ask for help. Are you safe to drive over here or do I need to come get you?”

Your tears slowed from inconsolable weeping to a sniffling whimper. It was already easing you to hear them speak so kindly to you. “I can drive, thank you. See you in a bit” you replied and hung up so you could focus on making it there.

You stayed with your friend for the rest of the week and by the weekend they went with you to pick up all of your stuff from Liam’s apartment.

You were so thankful for the patience and support you received from your friend. You were afraid if you’d gone to Liam’s apartment alone then he would have tried to force you to talk again and you didn’t want to talk. It was over between the two of you.

The cheating had been the final straw, and you were constantly nauseous every time you let yourself think about how long he must have been doing it without you even realizing. On top of that you knew there were parts of your relationship you turned a blind eye to. The standards, the image, the way he wanted to control every aspect of it and you had started to feel suffocated even before everything unraveled.

How stupid you felt now, obeying his every wish and command just because he was the first guy to ever love you? Well, that was overrated and you weren’t about to ever let another man possess you.

May 2019

“Hey I’m going to this concert later tonight. My buddy was supposed to come with me but he bailed. Want to take his ticket?” Caleb stopped to ask you.

“What kind of music?” You replied, tucking your arm behind your head to prop it up and look down at him.

“Rock music. They’re a Michigan band that made it big, like doing shows back home. I went through hell getting us good tickets kind of pissed he’s ditching me actually”.

“Yeah, yeah, okay” you finally agreed to go with him and removed your arm so you could place your hand on top of his head and push him back between your legs.

You caught a smile spread across his lips before he went back to work getting you off. It didn't take much longer, unlike him you were focused, throwing your head back against the pillow and riding out your orgasm.

You’d met Caleb through a friend of a friend. Well actually a guy you hooked up with once invited you over again. Although at the time you usually didn’t meet up with a guy twice you’d had a particularly stressful day and some good old fashioned cardio to take your mind off of it sounded like a good idea. Little did you know he wasn’t inviting you over to fuck again but to his party.

You were pissed when you got there. What on Earth had given him the idea you would want to come to his party? Regardless, there was free alcohol so you stayed long enough to stand in a corner and get buzzed.

That was when Caleb approached you. He was extremely talk, tanned skin, dark hair with matching dark eyes. Nothing about him stood out but all the same time he was exactly what you’d needed.

“You look like you want to get out of here?” Was the first thing he said to you.

“Yes please”. You let him drive you back to your apartment. Another unusual for you but what the hell. You had the best mind blowing sex you’d had since, well since the first time.

From that night on you broke a lot of your rules, you let Caleb stick around, stay over some nights, but you had made it explicitly clear to each other that your situation would never turn into a relationship. Because you didn’t have a heart for relationships anymore.

The good thing was you didn’t have to fumble around online to find hook ups anymore. Caleb was there any time you called, always on your command, and eventually you had to admit even when you weren’t rolling around in the sheets you enjoyed his company.

He was a sports management major, whatever the hell that meant. He was smarter than he led on, but he said he’d only ever wanted to be a coach and you found that admirable. He had a vision for himself since he was a kid and he was so close to making that vision come true. You on the other hand had changed your major a few times. Trying out classes and failing at them when you lost interest.

You were a year behind everyone else in school. Only going part time for the duration of your relationship with Liam had set you back further than you had realized at the time.

The only thing you were passionate about was writing, which meant you took as many English classes as possible now and sat yourself down in front of your laptop every afternoon to force yourself to work on something even if the product was just a sentence or two.

Liam never condoned your future as a writer. To him that was a hobby not a career. So your first two half semesters were filled with useless classes you didn’t do well in. You’d started to realize that maybe Liam never expected you to finish college, he only wanted you there to keep an eye on you while he worked on his degree and his future.

Since the break up you had filled your schedule, if not to try and get back on track, but to keep yourself busy so you didn’t have to think about how lonely you were.

You had classes four days a week, not including your study day, and also picked up as many shifts at work as possible. You were burning yourself from both ends but it was paying off.

About 5 months ago you decided you needed a change of pace, or of scenery, honestly anything to keep you going. You sent in dozens of applications to literary arts and creative writing programs all across the country knowing how competitive these programs were. The rejection letters were rolling in, you were soon to give up hope, but finally you got notified you were put on a waitlist for a program in Nashville.

Now all you could do was hope, maybe soon you would be starting fresh in another city, another state for that matter, and maybe you could start to recover.

“Who did you say this band was again?” You questioned as you followed Caleb through the busy crowd. You wondered how many more people were planning on showing up before the building maxed out its occupancy.

“They’re called Greta Van Fleet” he leaned over to speak to you in a way you could hear him over the rowdy crowd and dozens of speakers blaring a random mix of music to keep everyone happy until the live show started. “Want something to drink?” He tipped his thumb over his shoulder towards the back where a long bar was packed.

“Sure” you yelled out so that you didn’t have to lean into him. He took your order and headed to find a spot to squeeze in.

Since it would take him a bit you found a decently comfortable place to stand and pulled out your phone to google the name of the band you were about to see.

The signal was shit with as many people in here all on their phones at the same time. Once the page finally loaded you were shocked at what you read:

Greta Van Fleet, an American rock band from Michigan consisting of Kiszka brothers: Josh, Jake, and Sam, and Danny Wagner.

Kiszka. As much as you tried you could never forget that name. Jacob Thomas Kiszka.

Caleb returned faster than you had expected. You stuffed your phone back into the pocket of your jeans before turning around to take the plastic cup from his hand. Why were drinks at concerts so small, you were going to need a lot more to get drunk and make it through tonight.

You finished the drink as you tried to stay engaged in whatever Caleb was trying to chat you up with. An opener came onstage and eventually Caleb turned his attention away from you to watch them, giving you a chance to slip away back to the bar.

Once two cups were ready you made your way back, only getting half way before the main artist for the night started to take the stage.

Your jaw dropped as you watched them all pile out, the crowd cheering as soon as they made their appearances. Then there he was. Walking out onto the stage with his guitar strapped around his shoulder was exactly who you hoped it wouldn’t be.

He looked different than the night you met him. His hair was longer, his face more defined. There was only shitty lighting in that bar that night, but tonight he was standing about you in the spotlights.

There was no way he could see you in this sizable crowd, and even if his eyes met yours there was no telling he would even recognize you.

They got right to it, instruments roaring to life as the lead singer introduced themselves and thanked everyone for being here. You heard what he was saying, but your eyes were fixed on the guitarist as he smiled and strummed the strings in deeply resonating chords before breaking out into the first song of the night.

Caleb was overly excited, thoroughly enjoying himself as the set list moved along. You gave him a few half smiles and nodded your head to one of the songs to assure him you were having a good time when in reality your mind was spinning and you wanted to turn around and run out the doors. Surely that would cause a scene though, so instead you stood next to him with your hand in your back pocket and the condensation from your thin cup wetting your fingers.

After nearly an hour the last song ended and the band all thanked everyone and waved as they made their way off the stage. A group of people started to back away from the front of the crowd, getting ready to leave so they could beat the line out of the parking lot. That was silly you thought, because bands always played encores.

“Look! Let’s squeeze up front!” Caleb pointed over to a small space right next to the right of the stage.

“I think it might be over” you lied, trying to stay put but he was already hurrying you over before someone else moved in.

“They’ll be back out, they haven’t even played Highway Tune yet” he excitedly remarked when you successfully scored the spot.

Just like you expected, they came running back onto the stage, repositioning themselves and starting their first encore piece, the song you assumed was Highway Tune.

The crowd behind you started cheering as soon as the guitar part blared through the speakers. It was tremendously louder closer to the stage, the sound of the guitar ringing through your ears so that you couldn’t focus on anything else.

They were having fun dancing across the stage, you had to admit, their performance was lively and intense, the stage presence alone nearly outdoing the music itself. Just as the song was coming to a close the guitarist looked out across the crowd, making eye contact with a lot of fans in the front row until his eyes fell on you.

Your heart was pounding with the beat of the drums as you locked sight with him. Does he recognize me or is he just checking me out? You couldn’t tell but his eye’s definitely lingered on you for a moment while the rest of the band started up the final to the encore. He flicked his eyes away but a smile spread across his face as he continued to play, finishing out strong.

“That was interesting” Caleb had noticed the interaction, curious what the point of it was but you pretended like you didn’t know what he was talking about.

“I’m going to go back over to the bar” you notified him before turning to the side and squeezing through the groups who had scrambled forward when the band came back out.

Once you broke free you felt like you could breathe again, finding a seat to take and give your legs a break as you ordered another weak cocktail.

The band was gone for good now, their crew already working at breaking down their equipment. The bar filled up around you but the crowd dramatically thinned out and you were able to spot Caleb talking with another couple.

You turned around and leaned on the bar, pulling out your phone to check the time, realizing you still had your google search pulled up. You swiped through the pictures, almost in disbelief that the men on the screen were the same ones who were just standing up there being real and human. You set your phone face down and took another drink. How in the hell was this even happening right now.

“Hey,” a barely recognizable voice called from just behind you. You tried to ignore him, you did not want to talk to him, but he continued regardless. “You here alone?”

He definitely remembered you, starting up the conversation the exact way you had done with him a year ago.

“Does it matter?” You replied, still facing the bar instead of him but subtly informing him you remembered as well.

“Absolutely not” he deviated from the previous conversation. His voice was deep and scratchy from yelling lyrics along with the singer on stage. He acted like he expected a total replay of the night. Who did he think you were? Easy? Well maybe by this point you were, but just because you knew he was some hotshot rockstar now didn’t mean you were dying to throw yourself at him like a few if the other girls around you’d noticed ogling him the second he walked up.

“Fuck off Jacob” you told him thinking any minute now Caleb would come looking for you and you could suggest leaving. Surely it wouldn’t take much motivating to get him to agree to head back to your apartment and finish what you had started earlier.

“Woah, only my mom calls me Jacob” he snickered. Maybe you needed to remind him how you had left things last time you saw him.

You finally turned around to face him, holding out the cup that was still filled to the brim with ice and a little bit of liquid.

He tossed his hands up, getting the look in your eye as you started him down. “Hey! What’s your deal? I thought we had a great thing last time? Until you freaked out and threw your drink on me”. He pointed at the cup then down to the counter in a way to ask you to set it back down.

“I freaked out?” You scoffed, “I’m sorry but I’m not very turned on by cheaters”.

“Cheater?” His brows furrowed as he repeated what you called him.

You rolled your eyes about to turn back around and ignore him again but he caught your shoulder with his hand to keep you there. He looked slightly pissed that you weren’t showing any interest in him anymore, but also that you were calling him names he thought he didn’t deserve.

“I can admit I’m a lot of things to a lot of different women, but I am not a cheater”.

You scoffed again and he looked like he was getting more pissed off by your attitude. Good, then he’d leave you alone soon. Regardless, you didn’t go around talking shit about people for no reason so you made sure he was clear with why you wanted him to as you put it earlier fuck off.

“Yeah I’m sure the girlfriend you introduced me to after fucking in the bathroom would have thought about you differently. Or did you never tell her?”

“Girlfriend?” He repeated you again, the clueless act was getting annoying but suddenly he started to piece the rest of the night back together. “Girlfriend… Lila? Jesus, how drunk was I that night?” He was talking mostly to himself now, bursting out in laughter by the end of it and running his fingers through his hair. “Umm Lila was my ex-girlfriend. We dated back in highschool, stayed friends, she came to see me while I was back in Detroit for a bit. God, I really introduced her as my girlfriend?” He was chuckling still, finding the whole encounter funny albeit knowing how torn up you had been thinking you’d had sex with someone else’s boyfriend.

It was hard not to continue to feel animosity towards him, even if you were realizing it was only a mistake he’d made while being too intoxicated to know any better. When he slipped his hand against the counter and placed it on top of your arm some of the feelings eased up though.

“So, now that you know I’m not a cheater, like I said, do I turn you on a little?” He was inching closer towards you, trying to keep the conversation intimate, and flashing you a white toothy smile. His thumb was strumming against your forearm just like you had seen him strum on his guitar strings up on the stage. His fingers were calloused, worn in, but that only aided in the formation of goosebumps on the surface.

He seemed to notice your physical reaction, trading his smile for a smirk and moving his hand down to grip yours and pull you away from the bar.

You grabbed your phone and quickly sent a text to Caleb.

Not feeling well, grabbing an Uber. I’ll talk to you later.

If it were anyone else you might have felt a little bad about covering yourself with a text, but that was the nature of your relationship with Caleb. Surely he wouldn’t be too upset by it and you could make it up next time you saw him.

“Don’t tell me we’re going to find a bathroom” you joked with him. Joking was always your way of coping with your chosen lifestyle and this was no different. He had towed you hand in hand towards the stage but over to a door just to the right. A man waiting at the door recognized him as one of the artists and let him through. There was a short hallway followed by a left turn and a longer one filled with doors. Was this backstage?

“Obviously, where else?” He looked back at you with a wicked smile. Please tell me he’s joking too. When he turned back around he stopped at a door in the middle of the hallway. Letting your hand go he opened the door, the lever clicked a little as he pulled down on it and pushed in.

Inside was indeed not another bathroom but what looked like a dressing room. You stepped inside, taking in the disheveled state of the room but also admiring all the little bits of clothes and makeup scattered about. There were quite a few chairs pulled up to the mirrors lined in bright LED lights. It looked like the entire band had gotten ready here just before starting the show.

He closed the door behind himself and strutted into the room, much more familiar with its space than you were. “Don’t worry, the others will be out for a while longer. They like to mingle a lot more than I do”.

That made sense, you didn’t remember seeing any of his band mates at the bar from last time. Until his ex showed up he had been seemingly alone. Why though? You thought to yourself, he seemed to have a pretty good life. He was in a successful band, he was attractive enough already without the allure of being a musician, but it surely helped. No you were just trying to kid yourself, he was hot.

“Where the hell did they leave it?” His talking aloud brought you out of your head and back into the room where he was tossing random clothes around looking for something. “Ah! Here she is!” He exclaimed in victory as he found what he was looking for, pulling a tall glass bottle of tequila out of a bag that had been thrown onto the floor in the corner of the room. He unscrewed the cap and took a swig straight from the bottle. You watched him with a small smile and your brows raised.

“What?” He asked when he caught you staring. “You need a glass? We’ve got some around here somewhere”.

You shrugged your shoulders and reached for the bottle. Smiling back he handed it to you, watching this time as you brought it to your lips and took a drink then two before passing it back off. He took another gulp then returned the cap and set it down.

He moved over to you, wrapping his hands around your waist and pulling you into a tequila laced kiss. You moved your hands up his chest and wrapped them around his neck to bring him closer. His skin was still sticky from sweating under the stage lights but that didn’t bother you one bit.

He pulled away from the kiss too soon, just like before.

“So, there’s a futon over there” you followed the trail of his eyes to a small black couch covered in bags and a feather boa? “Or there’s chairs? The counter top? The floor?” He listed off places in the room he could bend you over and let you have it, not really having a preference of his own.

“I have to choose one?” You replied, stretching your arms out across his shoulders and twisting the ends of his hair between your fingers.

His toothy grin returned and he leaned over to hook his hands around your legs and hoist you up onto his hips. Carrying you over to the counter he swiped his arm across the surface to rid it of all the bottles of hair product and eyeliner pens it previously was a temporary home to and setting you down in their place.

“Here first then we will see where we end up” he grinned as he started working at unbuttoning your jeans and peeling them off your body. You placed your hands on either side of you, lifting your hips to help him with removing the clothing.

He started at his pants, just barely getting the front undone before realizing he’d forgotten something. “Wait let me find my bag” he moved to search the area he last remembered seeing it to no avail, but quickly found it nearby. Inside the distressed leather bag he retrieved a small foil wrapped square. “Don’t keep them in my wallet anymore”.

As he made the small walk back you took the chance to observe his stride. There was a confidence in his step, boarding proud but not necessarily cocky. Like you had noticed when you first saw him tonight his hair was longer and messily laid down his back and across his shoulders. Although it was mostly straight, the pieces at his neck had started to form a loose wavy curl after being soaked in sweat from performing on stage. He had the typical rocker attire, only he’d added his own personal touches to everything he wore from a stylish belt to cutting the hem off the bottom of his shirt so that it hung deliciously just above the navel.

“You know staring is considered rude in most situations”.

He’d caught you, but he didn’t seem to actually mind. Only a hint of embarrassment peaking through his cool and collected front making you wonder how much of what he had shown you so far of his personality was truly himself or just an act.

Once he was within range again you were pulling him back toward you and lifting his shirt at the unraveling hem and up over his head.

“Do you remember last time?” He smirked, sliding his hands up your thighs and dragging you closer to the edge. “Very similar position to this”

“Jake?” You hooked an arm around his neck.

“Hmm?” He hummed as he turned to place kisses against your forearm.

“Shut up and just fuck me already” you sighed, dipping your hand into his pants to see he was already fully hard.

“Of course, I am at your service after all” he chuckled darkly, slipping his pants off and removing the condom from the wrapper before lining himself up and rolling his hips up into you.

He stayed there all the way inside for a moment, sucking in a breath of air as your walls stopped clenching and settled around his size. A moan fell from your lips as he pulled all the way out, taking himself in his hand and teasing your entrance with his tip as he rubbed his thumb against your clit then stuffed himself back inside.

“Sorry, I just had to feel that again” he groaned, placing one hand on the counter, the other guiding your leg up around his hip and he started thrusting.

The pace was already set to a fast one. More than likely he was still riding out his high from getting to play in front of his fans, residual energy needing to be expelled.

“You don’t know how badly I needed this” he was pulling at your leg to bring you closer to him.

There was an understanding with where he was coming from. This week leading up to tonight had been particularly long and stressful. You hadn’t had the time or energy to do much of anything which is why you never really wanted to come out with Caleb in the first place. Apart from this afternoon, you hadn’t seen him in a few days. Tonight you had planned to take out all your frustrations in bed with Caleb, but you were finding yourself increasingly satisfied with where you’d ended up.

You suddenly felt the need to take control, to show him how much you had learned since the first time. “Go sit on the couch” you requested and he followed your command without word.

Taking a seat with an arm stretched across the back, he waited for you to pull your shirt off and come to straddle him.

The mood had shifted when he slid a hand up the length of your back as you slowly settled onto him. He was holding back a moan when he bottomed out with you on top. Part of you guessed if the room was insulated well or not so passersby couldn’t hear what was going on inside. While another part wanted someone to hear you making him feel good.

You moved your hips opposite of his, slowly rocking back and forth, grinding against him for some additional friction while he was already nestled right up against your g spot.

He let his head rest back onto the futon, his lips falling open but his eyes squeezing shut. “You know, I waited for you to come back”. He muttered into the room. This wasn’t exactly striking up a conversation time, so you chose to continue your movements on him, picking up the pace a little. “We were supposed to leave the day after, but I stayed the rest of the weekend. I sat at the same spot at the bar hoping you would visit there again and I’d get to see you”.

That was unexpected, his recollection of the past coming as a shock to you. You stopped, now concerned about what it was you were doing here and realizing neither of you had taken the time to explain your intentions.

“I should tell you something” you began as he pulled his head back up to see why you’d stopped. “I’m not the kind of girl right now who wants to be wined and dined. I don’t want the romance, the feelings, the mess. I want uncomplicated, no strings attached, just fun and hot sex”.

“Fun?” He smirked, “is that not what we’re doing?” His hand trailed down until he found the curve of your ass, giving it a quick and sharp slap.

“No, this is fun” a smile found its way back into your face, “but like, don’t expect anything else. We’re just having a good time”.

He moved his arm off the back of the couch, wrapped it around you, and pulled you down onto your back against the cushion.

“Don’t worry, I’ll give you a good time” he teased and pressed back into you. “Now just tell me what else it is you want. Tell me and I’ll give it to you. Do you want me to finish this quickly, or do you want me to make you beg for it?”

Although the prospect of what he might do to make you beg was alluring, you were pent up and would probably just end up getting frustrated. “Quickly” you chose and his smile returned.

He reached over and grabbed a cushion that had fallen on the floor, asking you to lift your hips as he placed it underneath you. One hand gripped your hip and he brought the other to his mouth, sucking the pad of his thumb before pressing it against your sensitive bundle of nerves. Then he did just as he said he would, thrusting over and over unrelentingly, the sweat starting to return to his forehead and chest until you were both finishing together.

“We’re playing another show here tomorrow night. Will you come back?” He asked as he watched you redress and collect your things.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea” you admit once getting your jeans pulled back on. “I don’t usually go for seconds let alone thirds”.

“Is that’s so?” He scoffed with an amused grin. Maybe he wasn’t used to getting told no so many times in one night.

“Hey, I agreed we’re just having a good time here. What's one more night? And then maybe I won’t see you again for another year if even” he made a good point but something told you the universe had other plans for the two of you. That first night you’d never expected to see him ever again. It was the point of finding him alone in a bar. Yet here the two of you were.

“I’ll think about it” you replied and slipped out the door before he could try and convince you further.

You pulled out your phone and flicked through the apps, finding the black and white square and ordering a car to pick you up. Thankfully since the area was busy tonight there were plenty nearby and you wouldn’t have to wait long.

Not looking up from your phone as you walked down the hallway you were suddenly stopped by a couple of hands pressing against your shoulders.

Embarrassed that you had almost run into someone you quickly started to apologize until realizing you recognized the person as another one of the band members.

He was very tall, clad in another pair of dark wash tight jeans and just a vest. His arms were tanned and toned, the result of his instrument of choice. He was their drummer.

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going”.

“That’s alright, but how did you get back here?” He was less concerned with the near collision and more with what exactly you were doing wandering around backstage.

Your face flushed a little thinking that as soon as you admitted how you got back here he would know exactly what went on in the dressing room. “Oh, umm, Jake let me back. I was just leaving though”.

He looked past you directly at the door you had just retreated from, cocking an eyebrow and letting you go with a sigh. “Of course he did. Okay well the exit is to the right” he directed and you thanked him before making your way out.

The next morning came and you started your wake up routine, making a drink, washing your face, getting dressed into something comfy and heading out to the office to check your mail.

The mail run was an addition to the morning checklist when you started applying to programs. It was annoying to you that everything could be done online these days, yet fancy universities still insisted on sending you their rejection letters in the post.

Regardless, you made it a habit to check for the letters never expecting much, until upon checking today you found the one you’d been waiting for.

You could tell from the address on the envelope that this was the letter that would tell you if you got moved off the waitlist or not. Your hopes had not been high due to the many past denials, however, this had been your first step in the right direction and you were eager to see if you actually made this one or not.

Stuffing the stack of magazines and junk mail under your arm you started to tear into the letter as you walked back to your apartment.

You started from the top, reading the introductions that always started the same thanking you for your application to the program, but as you tried to read lower you were caught off guard by someone calling your name.

You peered over the edge of the paper and saw Caleb closing the door on his car and waving you over. That was odd. Caleb didn’t usually come over without messaging you first, but you had ditched him last night so maybe he just wanted to check on you. He was nice like that.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t call you beforehand, I just wanted to see if you’d made it home after leaving last night”. You were right in your assumption, but there seemed to be something else on his mind by the sound of his voice.

You gave him a smile and a nod and returned your eyes to the words before you, trying to find the spot you left off on.

Upon your addition to our waitlist we did a secondary review of your application

“You know about last night,” Caleb started to speak again, so there was something he’d come over to tell you.

Your focus was split, Caleb was speaking but you had to know what the letter said. He didn’t seem to catch on though, continuing his thought even though you were hardly paying attention.

“I had a really good time with you last night. Honestly, I have a really good time with you all of the time. I know that we’ve been keeping it pretty loose between us, but I just wanted to let you know that if you ever felt comfortable with getting a little more serious I actually would kind of like that”. After spilling his confession he waited for you to respond, but you’d just gotten to the most important part.

We would like to extend you an offer to attend our creative writing program this fall.

“Caleb,” you started. You did not want to hurt him, he was the best guy you met in a long time, and if things weren’t the way they were then maybe you would consider his offer. On the other hand you were excited, so ready to drop everything here and take a leap into the future and this program was going to help you do that. Just like the many rejection letters you’d received over the past few months you knew he would get over this. He’d try again with another who was more prepared to be loved the way you knew he was so very capable of. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this with you. I’m moving to Nashville”.

Next chapter>>>

#greta van fleet #greta van fic #Greta van smut #jake kiszka #jake kiszka x reader #gvf #Kallie writes #strumming of a heart

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