#`Spotify

[ibetonlosinghuskies]

patience and pleasure pt 5

summary: the morning after the party, paige and azzi grapple with their feelings. as they navigate the aftermath of their shared moment, both struggling to read each others' emotions and define their relationship.

cw: fluff, slight angst.

disclaimer: everything i write is fictional, any and all similarities to real life is not intensional.

word count 4.7k +

author's note: ik yall are fed up with my melodramatic ass i’m sorry 😭

paige's pov:

the morning light through my blinds is harsh and telling. the events of last night flood my mind. slow dancing in the street, pleading her to hear me out.

i remember everything.

the hurt in azzi's eyes, gentle and hopeful. her kiss on my forehead felt more like a goodbye than anything else. a rush of embarrassment courses through me. all my desperation for nothing.

years of carefully towing the line between friendship and something more, all undone by my alcohol fueled vulnerability. this wasn't to say i didn't mean it, though. i felt a strange relief that night, even if she hadn't believed me, it felt good to finally get it off my chest.

i should text her and apologize.

my fingers hover over the screen, debating what i should say. what do i even tell her after all of this? i'm left without words, everything i've ever wanted to say, was said last night.

the words i want to type burn in my throat: "i meant every word i said."

but i can't bring myself to do it. the memory of azzi's pained expression, filled with a slight pity. her gentle rejection, while seemingly reluctant, stops me cold.

what if i tell her i remember and it ruins everything? what if my honesty costs me the most important person in my life?

my chest tightens, an anxiety builds between my ribs. and to make matters worse, i'm definitely hungover from last night.

maybe it's better if i just pretend i forgot.

the thought of denying my feelings feels like a betrayal—both to azzi and to myself. i've spent years hiding my feelings, making them smaller, more manageable. but now that they're out in the open, how can i possibly go back from that?

my mind races with possible messages to send her, each one feeling like a step backward. maybe this is what she wants? maybe azzi doesn't feel the same and was just trying to spare my feelings? give me an out, an opportunity to forget and move on.

she wouldn't let me tell her i was in love with her.

the phrase still lingers on my tongue, catching in my throat. i need to think logically here, but my mind is fuzzy and filled with what-ifs.

the next few days blur together in a haze of anxiety and embarrassment. every time my phone buzzed, my heart skipped a beat, hoping it was her.

i tried everything to keep my mind off of her. i spent hours on the court, lobbing up the ball. my performance was lacking, my body reflecting my mind. i ran drills until my legs burned and my lungs ached.

i couldn't outrun my feelings.

i prayed that god would save me from this. give me the right words, the courage to speak to her. i begged god to take her away from me if it wasn't meant to be.

every time i closed my eyes to pray, i saw her face.

i had a few days between the end of the season and training camp, so i went back home to minnesota. packing away all of my emotions in a carry-on bag. thinking that if i pretend to forget long enough, maybe i really will.

i can leave everything here, all of my mistakes, left behind in storrs.

i should be happy to see my family, especially after so long. i've missed them immensely, but as we greet each other, my mind still wanders to her.

"welcome home, paigey!" drew calls from the driveway, standing between my mother's legs. my heart aches, he's gotten taller since i last saw him.

"hi guys," i greet them both, my voice steadier than i felt. they helped me carry my bags into the house. it came naturally to them, after years of supporting me through tournaments and travel. but this time was different. this time, they were carrying more than just clothes and basketball shoes.

deep within those zippers—the heartache, the regret, my unspoken truth. everything i tried to leave behind.

the weight of my baggage laden on my family's shoulders.

the rest of the day, we fall into a familiar rhythm. mom's home-cooked meals, drew's relentless teasing, the comfort of my childhood bedroom. it was easy to slip back into the role of their little girl, a hometown prodigy, untouched by my mistakes of today. it's almost enough to make me forget about everything.

but during family dinners, i'd zone out, wondering what azzi was doing. checking her socials, even though i knew she wouldn't post. was she thinking of me? did she miss me? was this killing her too? i felt guilty for being so absent-minded from my family but i couldn't stop it.

they're my family but azzi was my home.

i went to bed feeling heavy. our days of no contact burdening my heart. it's the worst at night; i haven't been able to sleep much.

the darkness of my childhood bedroom felt suffocating. the walls closing in on me with the momentum only fear brings. my sheets tangle between my legs as i toss and turn. the bright red numbers of my alarm clock taunt me, blinking with expectation.

2:17 AM. i stared at the ceiling. my room so dark, i couldn't tell if my eyes were open.

i miss her voice.

the way she'd whisper to me in the dark of my bedroom. her words like a blanket, soft and heavy.

3:34 AM. i grab my phone, scrolling through our last text. my thumb twitches over her contact.

i miss her touch.

the calmness she carries in her fingertips. the way she ordered my body with just the stillness of her hands.

4:22 AM. i tuck my knees into my chest, burying my head between them. without her, i feel like a kid again.

i miss her eyes.

a knowing spark that glistened at me occasionally, cutting through her poised resolve. the way her eyes lightened when it caught flickers of sunlight, my little pool of honey.

caught in the small space between her eyelashes, i drifted to sleep. it'd only been an hour or two when i heard my phone ding. reflexively, my heart races, hoping it's her.

i reach for my phone, my heart stopping for a moment as i read the text. 

surprise hits me first. azzi's family had always been like a second family to me, but her timing is insane.

then comes a wave of dread. would it be weird? azzi and i haven't spoken in three days, not that i've been counting. our last interaction burned in my mind. does azzi even want me there? had she told her parents what happened?

hope flutters in my chest. maybe this is a chance to mend things, to be normal for a night. the thought is interrupted by a creeping sense of doubt in my gut.

what if azzi doesn't even know i'm invited?

my fingers hover over the keyboard. part of me wants to accept immediately, desperate for any connection to azzi. but another part of wants to decline, to shield myself from confrontation.

as a middle ground, i like the message. giving myself time to debate my decision. this dinner invitation feels like a crossroads. whatever i decide, it could change everything. again.

azzi's pov:

the familiar creek of the third step on the staircase takes me back. my grandparents' house held a special place in my heart. maybe it was the cozy 70's bohemian style that carried through their decor.

maybe it was the fact that it's only twelve minutes from paige's house.

i've been waiting for her to reach out first. after that night, after everything she said, i didn't know where her head was.

god, i feel awful.

i let my fear shut her down. i should have let her finish, should've told her i feel the same. she tried to tell me she's in love with me, words i'd been dying to hear since we were fifteen.

i tried to keep my mind off it, but the guilt was eating me alive. i threw myself into anything else, impatient to relieve this feeling.

i spent hours with my headphones on, letting the music drown out my thoughts.

but every song was about her.

the lyrics distorted to say her name, echoing through the cavern of my heart. i heard her soft breath between beats, real and steady. guitar chords mimicking the hum of her content.

when the silence became too much, i read for hours. clinging to the words on the page, desperate for them to take me away from this reality. i'd almost finished two whole books in the span of three days.

but every story mirrored our own.

i was living between the pages of my favorite romance novels. the missed connections and unspoken tension, all much too real to bring me any comfort.

every distraction felt hollow in comparison to my guilt. a persistent shadow, clouding everything i do.

the happiness that i used to find so easily, died on her lips that night.

the afternoon sun filtered through my curtains, i set the table, getting ready for dinner.

"azzi?" my mom calls from the kitchen while washing the dishes. "i was thinking you and grandma can make some of those chocolate chip cookies paige loves," her voice nonchalant.

my heart flutters when i hear her name, and before i can say anything, she continues. "i invited her over for dinner tonight," she says smiling.

paige. here. tonight. as in a few hours from now, tonight.

"what?" i choke out, my mind racing.

my mom misreads my panic for excitement. "i've missed her, you remember all the summers she's spent here," she says, looking back down at the dishes.

how could i possibly forget?

i sprinted back upstairs, my thoughts spinning. she was going to be here. sitting at my dining room table, looking as beautiful as always. after everything that happened.

i imagined all the different ways tonight could go. what if she doesn't want to see me? what if i ruined everything?

i hope she meant everything she said.

my thoughts shifted to my appearance. if tonight really was going to be the night i finally open up to her, i needed to look nice. i tear through my closet, clothes littering my floor.

i settle on a soft pink sweater. she once told me she liked the fabric, she'd run her fingers down my spine melodically.

maybe she'd reach out to touch me tonight.

my hands shake slightly as i apply my mascara. i fan out my eyelashes, i wanted her to look at me. when i get to my lipgloss, i'm reminded of her. all these little moments we'd share, carried a new heaviness after her confession. i dab a bit of concealer under my eyes, hoping to create an illusion of peace i don't feel.

i stare at myself in the mirror, imagining finally meeting her eyes. rehearsing what i might say to her.

"i'm sorry. i should've let you finish. i feel the same way."

the words blend together in my head, like a mantra. i'm going to get it right this time.

i take a deep breath, attempting to steady my heart rate. tonight could change everything, for good this time. if she remembers, if she still wants me, i'm hers.

i'll tell her everything.

i hear a car door slam outside. she's here. a combination of fear and hope stirs in my stomach. we can make things right.

i run down the stairs to open the door. our eyes lock, and my world falls away from me. there's a flicker of recognition in her eyes, looking just as vulnerable as she did that night. her lips parted slightly, the ghost of her confession haunting her expression. her eyes soften, just for a second, before she catches herself.

"hey, az," she says, her voice a little too casual. "it's been a while."

we hug awkwardly, our bodies stiff with the burden of unspoken words. "yeah," i say into her shoulder. i'm upset with myself, i still can't find the words.

instead, i just hold her a bit tighter. a firm grip on her shirt, i feel her heartbeat race against my chest. for a moment, i think she might pull away, but then i feel it—her finger, tracing down my spine, dancing over my vertebrae through the soft fabric of my sweater.

just when i begin to melt into her touch, she pulls back, holding me at arm's length. when we part, there's a soft pink flush in her cheeks that wasn't there before. she flashes me an awkward smile, raising her eyebrows slightly, before leaving to greet my family.

does she remember? is this her way of telling me?

we held on for a moment too long, our embraces lingering past the point of a casual greeting. i'm left standing right where she left me, my skin still tingling where she'd touched. the motion of her fingers, like morse code on my spine, a message i'm desperate to decode.

i watch as she effortlessly charms my family, slipping back into the role as their favorite. the floor buzzes underneath my feet with an undercurrent of tension.

paige belongs here, she always has.

at dinner, we sit next to each other, our elbows almost touching. i swear these chairs were not this close together when i set the table.

as everyone settles in, an uncomfortable silence falls upon the table. i catch my dad shooting my mom a look, gesturing for her to say something. she returns the look, annoyed, then looks down at her plate. she opens her mouth to speak but my grandma cuts her off.

"azzi, honey, you never bring any nice boys around. haven't met anyone special yet?" she smiles between mouthfuls.

boys? huh.

paige nearly chokes on her food, a smirk flickering across her lips. regaining her composure, she glances at me, holding in a laugh. her eyes are wide, filled with anticipation, eager for my response.

she can't help herself, chiming in, "yeah, azzi. no cute boys catching your eye?" her voice drips with mock innocence. i catch her tongue rolling against the inside of her cheek, a gesture of pure arrogance. she tilts her head to the side, eyes searching my face.

god, she looks hot when she's being cocky like this.

"i been...busy. you know how it gets in college," i avoid her eyes, careful not to let my thoughts show. but inside, i'm screaming.

i do have someone special. she's sitting right next to me.

my grandma doesn't let up, clearly amused by the topic. "come on, a pretty girl like you? what about that nice boy from the men's team?"

i feel a heat burn through my face, spreading down my neck. i bounce my leg anxiously, trying to find a way to change the topic.

she continues, "i'm just saying, honey. love is a beautiful thing." her eyes shift to paige now. "you shouldn't let it pass you by," she examines our response.

i look up to meet her eyes, attempting to speak up again, when i feel it suddenly. paige's hand rests on my thigh, a bit higher than my knee, slowing my nervous shake to a stop. the placement feels almost suggestive, more intimate than our usual touch.

my breath catches for a moment, and i become aware of the warmth of her palm against my skin. she speaks with her hands, for the second time tonight, stroking her thumb in a sweet, yet somewhat possessive gesture. she gives me a reassuring squeeze before speaking up.

"she brings me around, am i not special, grandma fudd?" paige interjects, pouting; her voice playful but sincere.

she speaks with intention and a hint of something—protection? possession?

my grandma's face lights up like this was the reaction she's wanted the whole time. "oh, of course you are, sweetheart." her eyes darting between us, "i've always thought you two share something very...unique."

the way she says the word 'unique' makes my stomach flip. had she seen it all this time? had everyone seen it? were we the last two to notice?

paige's hand remains on my thigh, a comforting weight. i cover her hand with mine, squeezing gently. a silent thank you.

the rest of dinner goes smoothly, chatting about old memories and stories. i'm desperate to know what's going through paige's mind. i notice the little things:

the way our hands brush when she passes me the salt, our fingers meeting for a moment too long.

the stolen glances when she thinks i'm not looking. the way her eyes flutter when i catch her looking.

how she stumbles over her words when they ask about our last hangout, avoiding eye contact.

the way she tenses up when our knees touch underneath the table, but she doesn't move away.

each moment is a contradiction of the last. her actions are a slow waltz—a push and pull between familiarity and distance. by the end of the night, i'm convinced she remembers. but something inside her keeps pushing it away.

i don't wanna pretend anymore.

after a few hours of this, i know i can't let this continue for much longer. we need to talk, really talk. and soon.

paige's pov:

"can we talk?" azzi's voice is soft and hesitant. my heart skips a beat, a familiar palpitation i've felt around her for years.

i nod, following her up the familiar stairs to her childhood bedroom. the staircase is lined with family photos, filled with memories i've been trying so hard to forget—or pretend to forget.

how can i truly forget when azzi's smile in these pictures makes my chest tighten? she's been missing from my heart for years, it swells at the thought of her.

azzi shuts the door behind us gently, my eyes scan her bedroom. it hasn't changed much, still leaking with her personality. her bedroom walls are covered in photos of us, a tapestry of memories.

i catch sight of an old film camera. azzi's grandma had given it to us right before i moved to storrs. the sight of it brings a rush of emotions from that night i'm not prepared for.

"you still have this?" i ask, lifting the camera. it feels heavier than i anticipated, or maybe i just feel weak under azzi's gaze.

she unravels me in just a few blinks.

her eyes soften, "yeah, of course. we used to take that thing everywhere."

my heart aches at the memory—taking the camera to games, practices, summer trips. i liked the challenge of capturing her beauty between tiny frames of film. though, no photo could ever truly capture the extent of her allure, i had fun trying. i'll always be her photographer, and she'll always be my perfect model.

"do you remember the first roll we ever shot on here?" i tilted the camera, my voice softer than i intended.

"yeah," she says, pointing to a set of photos on the left side of her wall.

i lean in to look at a photo of myself, mouth full of azzi's grandmas' cookies. i'm smiling at the camera, my happiness driven by azzi standing on the other side of the lens.

we were so young.

as i look at the photo, memories flood back. azzi watches my expression, noticing my composure change. "we captured some good memories that night..." she trails off, deep in thought.

like our first kiss.

that was probably one of the best decisions i've ever made. the memory washes over me, warm and bittersweet. the softness of her lips, the slight tremor in her breath. we were so young, so nervous, yet so sure in that moment.

it was simple then. our feelings existed in the small space between our lips, protected from the outside world. i didn't have to put words to the flutter in my chest or the warmth in my cheeks.

loving azzi was as natural as breathing, just as essential too.

i miss the simplicity of it all. i could love her without the burden of expectation. i'd prove it to her eagerly, in everything i did. holding her hair back when she drank too much. folding her clothes cause she hated doing laundry. reading her favorite books, desperate to understand her mind.

our love was in the details—the way she'd adjust my form in practice, save the last of her favorite snacks for me, read to me so i could fall asleep.

loving her has always been the easiest thing. it's everything else that's gotten so complicated.

i want someone, something to blame for this. is this just how things get as you age? the simplicity of love becoming frustratingly far away. maybe it was time, the pressure of sports, or maybe this was bound to happen. maybe we were always meant to put words to these feelings—to call it out boldly by it's name.

maybe it's time.

everything from that night reappears in my mind, this time under a different lens. the thoughtful box of memories azzi gave me that night—had she felt the same way all this time?

i glance at azzi, noticing a sudden change in her expression. she looks like she's just remembered something important, her eyes widening slightly. she starts to pick at her fingers nervously, avoiding eye contact.

"hey, paige?" azzi asks, still looking down at her hands. "did you ever finish that book i gave you that night?" her voice brimmed with nervousness. she radiated an emotion i couldn't quite place, clinging to my response like it will save her from her feelings.

i shake my head, feeling a little guilty. "not quite. i saved the last chapter."

i learned that from her actually. the way she cherished the things she loved, always saving them for the right time.

azzi's eyes light up, a mixture of relief and anticipation washing over her. "you should read it," she says quickly, her voice carrying an urgency that confused me.

she hesitates before continuing, her eyes closing for a moment in a long blink. "about the other night, when you said..."

my body goes cold. my drunken confession. i panic, the fear of confronting my feelings overwhelms me.

what if she's just trying to let me down easy? what if i misread everything?

"oh, yeah?" i force out a laugh. "i hope i didn't say anything too embarrassing, you know how i get when i drink."

i can't risk it again. i'm sorry, azzi.

azzi's face falls slightly, but she quickly masks it. her eyelids flutter, she stares at the floor. i can see the thoughts flickering through her mind. she sees right through me.

"no, no you weren't embarrassing," her voice lowering to a whisper. she locks eyes with me now, intent on making me hear her. "you were actually quite...poetic."

i'm no poet, i was just speaking from the heart.

i swallow hard, knowing she's giving me another opportunity. but i resist, remembering the pity in her eyes that night. "poetic, huh? that doesn't sound like drunk me at all," i joke weakly.

azzi narrows her eyes at me, tilting her head to the side. "you don't remember anything at all?" she questions.

i refuse to meet her gaze, "it's all pretty fuzzy, az."

i'm lying, and we both know it. but i can't bear to see that look of pity in her eyes again.

she takes a deep breath, clearly frustrated. she mutters an "okay" underneath her breath.

the sound of rain pattering against the window fills the silence between us. i hadn't even noticed the storm brewing outside, too caught up in the storm of emotions in this room.

"listen, it's getting late i should go," i say, my voice strained like i'd been screaming, even though i hadn't said anything at all.

as i turn to leave, azzi calls out, her voice soft yet determined. "paige, you can talk to me...when you're ready."

god, she's still so sweet to me. i don't deserve it, not now.

i pause at the door, guilt coursing through me. i know she sees through my lie, knows i remember everything. she knew the moment i stepped foot into this house. she could see it in the softness in my eyes, feel it beneath my fingertips.

"thanks, az," i whisper, before walking down the stairs.

for a moment, i'm tempted. to stay, to talk, to finally be honest. but the fear of getting rejected again, of ruining what we have, is too strong.

katie stopped me as i headed for the door, "leaving already?" she looks a bit sad. "it's pouring out there, why don't you stay the night?"

and share a bed with azzi? after that conversation, absolutely not.

"thanks, but i'll be fine. it's not far," i insist, grabbing my keys.

as i head for the door, i catch a glimpse of azzi's face. hurt, confusion, and something else—disappointment?—flash across her features. but i can't stay.

i step out into the rain, letting it mask the tears threatening to leak out of my eyes. my hands shake as i fumble with my car keys, nearly dropping them in a puddle.

i'm doing the right thing.

the mantra echoes in my mind as i slide into the driver's seat, but it rings hollow. i grip the steering wheel, willing myself to believe it.

i can't let my feelings for her get in the way of our friendship. i'd be selfish to put my emotions over our relationship again. i'd be anything she wants me to be—even if that's just a friend.

i'm doing the right thing.

i turn the key into the ignition, reversing out of her driveway. the intensity of the storm matching the turmoil in my heart as i drive away, leaving azzi and the truth behind.

i can't be wrong again. i can't bear the thought of her letting me down easy, telling me she doesn't feel the same.

i'm doing the right thing.

back at home, my guilt eats its way through my stomach. a relentless ache that promises a sleepless night. my eyes drift to my nightstand, where a worn copy of looking for alaska rests- the book azzi gave me years ago.

sometimes when i'd sleepover at her place, i'd pretend like i couldn't sleep so she could read to me. her voice soothing like a lullaby, i lost myself between her breaths. heavy and melodic, her cadence became my cough syrup, drifting me to sleep.

i flip open to the final chapter, determined to finally finish the book. memories flood back, the way her words coated my thoughts, i can almost hear it now, as i start to read.

i've put this off for so long. terrified of the ending, the finality of a precious memory between azzi and i. saving the final chapter for the right moment. maybe that moment is now.

as i turn the last page, a small slip of paper flutters out. simple yet somehow charged with potential. i unfolded the paper, recognizing the handwriting immediately.

azzi.

my heart pounds as i begin to read. the first few words hook me in, something all too familiar. my breath quickens, my lungs expanding like i'm breathing for the first time.

i didn't need to find the words, she already had. years ago.

by the time i finish, my hands are shaking. the room spins slightly. in a strange paradox of emotions. her words lifted a weight from my chest, stirring a whirlwind of emotions. yet simultaneously, a new weight settles on my shoulders—the gravity of what i need to do now.

how long had this been there? sitting on my nightstand, packed in a suitcase, tucked into a bookshelf. how many times have i almost read this, almost known?

i guess we've both been hiding something.

i leaped from my bed, grabbing my keys, slamming the door behind me. i was exhausted seconds ago, but now, sleep is the furthest thing from my mind. i need to see her. to talk to her. to make it real.

we've wasted too much time already.

[halaboyz]

undercover, sangyeon

bff, police detective! the boyz sangyeon x special operation unit gn! reader fluff, angst wc: 3.7k warnings: mentions of minor character death, guns, you know police/detective stuff (ie cults) on kdramas but nothing too deep (ie blood, murder, etc.); reader is not especially on the modest side, i would say tomboyish but just imagine hyojoo's charac in happiness! everything's revolved in there (charac's love plot) a/n: RRRRRRRAAAAAAHH sangyeon FITS detective charac so mUCH you have no idea how much my brain racked this idea ;; kdrama happiness and flex x cop inspired !!! GOD i just canNOT make action fics bffr i do not KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE THINGS networks: @kflixnet

"Public rental unit for police at Gangnam? Won't you need, like, high points for that?" Changmin questions, mouth full of food as he stares curiously at you.

"Mmm, they're giving out three special units to the police." You casually nod, downing a spoonful.

"Really? What are the conditions then?" Changmin perks up, suddenly curious when he senses that you were too nonchalant, conditions may be as simple.

"They score it based on seniority, size of family, marital status, etc. etc. You know, basic requirements. But you know what matters the most? Number of arrests and evaluations," You ignorantly shook your shoulders, making Changmin's drop. You sigh, "I'd definitely get it if those were the only requirements," You shake your head, losing confidence.

"What are you going to arrest, terrorists?" He scoffs, smirking at you.

"In life, Changmin, you never know." You point your chopsticks at him.

"Evaluations are good, but I quit getting them. The apartment's all yours. How are you getting more points?" You had no idea at all, opting to just eat in silence when your phone rings and vibrates in the table.

"Might get married, might not." You slyly smile, slowly widening when you read the caller ID. "Let me get this for a second," You excuse yourself out of the table with a smile, Changmin gawking at your sudden and absurd idea.

"Good morning to my most handsome friend there is," You start as you answered the call, hearing him chuckle in the other line. "You miss me?"

"I think I should ask that. I'm guessing you need something for you to call me something like that," He instigates, and you hear him unlocking his car.

"I don't. At least yet. Why'd you call though?" You pick on your helmet that hung in one of your suit belts, looking longingly at your food. "I got some eating to do, you know."

"I'll be fast. I heard there's someone in your team leading drugs associated with child prostitution. Police will be there after some investigations, but right within the day." Sangyeon informs, starting his car and putting you on hold for a second.

"Oh," You coo, nodding. "Who is it?"

"I'm just informing you, not blatantly revealing files to you," Sangyeon teasingly laughs out, and you hiss.

"Then, if I catch them before you do, it will be my arrest, right?" You think of the points for the free special unit that are being given away to the police, making you smile widely.

"Look at you," Sangyeon hisses as well, "I'm actually on the way there now, partner in crime. You will need to sit your ass down because your best friend will be arresting the bad guys. You be the good cop," He chuckles, warning you. He asks you to go back and eat and bid farewell, hopping back to your seat.

You squint your eyes at the contact, pointing at it as if a light bulb just lit up in your mind.

"You're scaring me," Changmin says, pouting at the phone. "What's the face thing doing on your phone?"

"I think I just found my husband."

"What a waste." You scoff as you cross your arms over your chest, glaring at your once favorite student getting arrested right in front of your eyes. Sangyeon mirrors your actions, standing beside you with a smirk.

"Well, we never really know people." He shakes his head, signaling his team to go on without him. "That's how my work goes," He removes his id and tucks it in his pocket, meaning the end of his work. "Should we go for lunch?"

"I just ate, but who am I to decline another round of food?" You give a bright smile, patting him in his arm. "Wait for me here, I know a good restaurant just near here."

You grab your things as you bid goodbye to Changmin, leaving him speechless at your sudden leave in the middle of the training.

"Hey! Where are you going?! What am I supposed to do with the newbies alone?!" Changmin screams as he watches you hop away, glee in your steps.

"You can handle them alone! I'm off to go get more points for my future apartment, I'll just treat you to some delicious food next time!" You wave, even giving a flying kiss which he annoyingly swatted away.

"Let's go handsome!" You drag Sangyeon away as his face contorted as if he just ate something sour.

"Why do you keep calling me that? It's getting on my nerves," He shivers in his place, taking a good look around the restaurant you were arrogant about.

"Let's eat first, hmm? The beef here is so delicious you have no idea." He chuckles at how you acted, all giddy and excited at how the beef was grilling in front of you.

"Hey, hey! That's not yet cooked!" He swats your chopsticks away with the tongs, hissing at you. He glares at you as he points the tongs at you, making you wait.

You shrink on your seat as you nib on your chopsticks, eagerly waiting for it to be, quotation marks, cooked.

When you were finally done, Sangyeon finally waits for you to open up a talk.

You uncomfortably shift on your seat, smiling wryly.

"Sangyeon," You smile a bigger one, "Should we get married?"

It was needless to say Sangyeon almost coughed all his intestines out. You stretch a glass of water out to him, rubbing his back with an apologetic smile.

"Did you lose a screw or?" He coughs out, pointing at your head. You click your tongue, explaining the situation you wanted in. "So let me get this straight, you're short on points, so you want my arrests to be of points to you?" He summarizes, gulping down another glass of water.

"Yeah, that's basically it." You nod shyly, forking another slice of beef to your mouth. "Hey, when you think about it, I'm a decent per-,"

"Okay."

"Huh?"

Silence engulfs the both of you, just silently staring at each other. Yet your heartbeat was ringing in your ears.

"I said okay. We can get married." He nods, now finally calm and collected, repeating what he said.

"Sang... married, as in... married. Living for life," You clear out, clearing your throat.

"You wanted it, and I said okay," He chuckles at your bewildered state, feeling all jittery inside.

"Oh, okay." You shortly reply, nodding. "Wow, okay. I didn't expect that you'll agree like that." You chuckle, finally calming yourself down. "I should've accepted your confession back in high school," You mumble, shaking your head.

"H-hey! Are you still not over that? I didn't mean my confession back then! It was... pressure! Right, pressure only! My friends were there and urging me and-,"

"Fine, fine! Why are you explaining over again..." You mumble, chuckling at his now sheepish state. "I'm sending a form then. We're married." You confirm, stretching out your hand for him to shake. He chuckles, shaking your hand with a hum.

Well, that was easy now, wasn't it?

You know what's not easy? It's suppressing your growing feelings for your best friend.

"I did not even dare imagine I would get to live in an apartment like this," Your eyes roam around the newly renovated apartment flat, on your tippy toes as Sangyeon tailed you with a smile. "i'm planning on changing a lot, but since it was just renovated, we can push that off for a while and enjoy the scent of the new flat," You smile, turning to him as he agrees whatever you want to do with the apartment. You stop when you open a room, spotting two beds beside each other with a table lamp between it.

"Oh, that..." Sangyeon trails off, thinking of any reason. "The other room is packed with storage boxes so... I moved in here first. Don't worry! When we get it cleaned up I'll move," Sangyeon panics, pointing here and there to prove his point.

"It's okay," You nod, glancing at him awkwardly. "We can stay together. To be safe from unit inspection officers, too. We're married. We should be together in one room, at least." You ignore the thumping of your heart as you made your beeline away from the tightening walls of the room, leaving Sangyeon stunned. "Well, I'm satisfied. Are you?"

You both finish wandering the flat, satisfied smiles on your faces as you plan ahead on how the bills would be parted.

Your little bubble of happiness pops while you both were eating your housewarming meal when both of your phones rang together, signaling an emergency.

You both looked at each other curiously, wondering why it had to be the same time your phones alerted an emergency when you had different fields.

So when the police and the special operation units team up to take down a massive cult, Sangyeon and you grow worried about each other.

"You be safe." You mumble to Sangyeon before he drives off after dropping you to your outpost, having to run to his station as well.

"You too. See you later." He nods at you before seeing you off, dashing inside to be on the emergency meeting.

"Oh, y/n. You're here." Changmin pulls a chair for you as the meeting continues, summarized as the SOU will only be a back-up and the police will be leading the operation.

Specifically, Sangyeon is.

You raise your hand immediately to gain attention, silence overtaking the whole room when the supervisor points at you to continue.

"Can't we lead with them? I mean... wouldn't it be the same to go there as back up? Why can't we lead as well so that there are more people to ambush the place?" You suggest, but the supervisor shakes his head immediately to dismiss you.

"It's a case that's been going on for years already. We can't afford to fight with the police to take credit for their hard work. They only asked for back and especially the SOU so that more range of the main post of the cult will be surrounded and ambushed." You nod in response, growing worried of how the case was being approached.

If it was lasting for a year already, wouldn't the suspects already be so cut out to be hard to take down? So why would you have to be at the bleachers when your man is risking his life out there in the fields?

"That being said, yn and Changmin, you'll be with the Tech team of the police in contact with those getting silently in the field in disguises. You'll be together with them for stakeout. Get ready for any alerts and emergencies."

"You mean the police will disguise themself as part of the cult's members?" You clear out, repeating what the supervisor said.

"Yes. It's their plan and we're acting on it." You stayed quiet after that, letting the meeting go on while you were on your head until Changmin gets to the best of you to remind you the meeting's done and you got to move.

"Let me make a quick call." You pat Changmin and excuse yourself to the bathroom, hands shaking as you start looking for that certain contact. "You dipshit! How could you not tell me about this?!" When you hear the line connecting, you immediately curse out Sangyeon which earns you a chuckle.

"I'm a police. Cases are top secret. I think I've told you that a hundred times already." He scoffs, and you hear a lot of background voices in the back, probably getting ready.

"You're going in alone?" You put your annoyance aside to finally get some information from him, he sighs.

"Did you not listen on your meeting?" A soft chuckle leaves his lips, "We're five." Opting to just answer your questions, he leans back as the chaos erupts behind him. "Oh, yn. We need to go, they go around picking victims by this time of the day in the park. You should go with your team no-,"

"For how many days will you be inside? When's the attack going to be?" You cut Sangyeon off, wishing you can stop him longer from going.

"Will be there for at least three to five days to offer some comfort to them. Could be earlier, could be later." He hears you heave a deep sigh which prompts pulls the sides of his lips to a genuine smile, appreciating your concern over your friend which is now your husband. "Hey. Listen to your supervisors, okay? I don't want you getting hurt." Because of him.

"Are you kidding me?" You retort, "Then try not going on dangerous missions!"

"It's my job though," He replies calmly, making you weirdly more agitated. "You don't have to worry about me, yn. I'm Lee Sangyeon, I've been awarded as the Honorable Police Detective for three consecutive years now. I have my back."

"If you come out there with the slightest scar on your body you'll die by my hands," You threaten so lovingly, Sangyeon lets out a hearty laugh. "Be safe, Sangyeon. I'm serious,"

"Okay. Thank you, I will. You too, okay! Don't be so rash about making decisions." You hum in reply as you end the call, sighs still coming out of your lips in worry.

"Don't worry. He'll be fine." You comfort yourself in front of the mirror as you washed your face, heading bravely now outside to pack your things.

After another briefing of the mission, it is now taken into action. You jump into the van with your bag of protective gear with Changmin.

"Hey, yn. Don't let your emotions get through, yeah? I mean it with no offense," Changmin pats your arm in assurance. "Team work."

"Oh, absolutely." Half sarcastic, half not. Of course you shouldn't be putting your emotions into cases. You're not allowed to do that.

Of course. Okay. You can do that. You can, right? You nod at yourself. That was easy.

You spent the first two days cramped up in the back of the van with another police who handled the tech, the tech, and you and Changmin and only listening to Sangyeon and the other four whatever was happening inside and only when they had something to share to the bud.

"We're going ahead and sneak to the office by night when they announce lights out in bedrooms," You hear Sangyeon say through the speakers, and you nod at Changmin. It was an hour before said takeover.

Both of you changed into your gear and vests, preparing everything you need to prepare. Just as time had passed, you were on standby, You sigh, anxiously picking on your finger.

"He's going to be fine, yn. Loosen up."

"Can you... I'll... stay outside. Call me in if something happens and we need to go. I'll remove the bud."

"You can't do that," Changmin hisses, holding your hand to make you stay. "Stay here. Remove the bud but don't go outside. At least, you'll see what's going on." He suggests, and you remove your bud. Through the small cameras set up by the five inside the 'house', you watch each of their movement.

"Fuck." Right when they were in a blind spot inside the office, the tech exclaims and the both of you perk up and the lights inside the office lit.

"What happened? Do we go inside?" You ask, grabbing Changmin by the shoulder in panic.

"We still haven't gotten any orders, yn." He levels with your panic, but still trying to calm you down.

"The team's silently making their way around and inside. Please don't move unless we tell you so," The police you're with pleads, and you stay put on your sit with a huff and a heavy heart.

Your eyes search for Sangyeon through the cameras but no signs seen. Assuming their buds were taken since no one has then uttered a word, they've been taken by the members into interrogation.

"So what, are we just going to fucking sit here? There are five of your team there! Are you just going to let them die?!" You get loose, grabbing your helmet. Changmin stands up and calms you down once again, and the police doesn't bat you an eye.

He remains seated and eerily busy in his computer, showing that police cars have already surrounded the area.

You wait for any order, any, just to go out of these sickening van. Your husband was out there, not knowing if dead or alive, and you were out here stuck on your sit because they told you so.

"They rang the car sirens," You hear the numerous and loud police car sirens which also alarms your leave, sharing a look with Changmin and getting your gears and guns, rushing out of the van and skillfully making your way to back up the polices, already in their places. Plenty of suspects make their way out of the house in a hurry not knowing they are already surrounded as some detectives fight their way into these suspects and in the house.

After a suspenseful, agitating wait until they've all surrendered, arms and feet get impatient as it shakes in worry and anger. Lastly, who you've been briefed about as the cult's leader, make his way out of the house and handcuffed, one by one, the disguised detectives make their way out of the house honorable, but not quite yet.

Sangyeon was still inside, location unknown.

Another surge of detectives make their way inside to search for said man and you're on the surge of breaking down.

"Where the hell is he..." You mumbled, eyebrows meeting in the middle as you stand up straight and fucked the form up, chucking your gun into your holster and make your way to the front.

Changmin wasn't able to stop you now because of how determined you were and how worried about not seeing Sangyeon. So you immediately ask one of his colleagues that went in. But to no avail. They were separated when the lights lit and since Sangyeon lead them, he was interrogated alone by the cult leader.

Okay. If they're not able to tell them where Sangyeon is, the cult leader will.

You angrily heave a sigh as you stride closer to the handcuffed man, still all dignified and mighty even though he was caught. You remove your helmet to throw aside, grabbing him by the collar aggressively which makes heads turn, the polices and now Changmin gasping, trying to stop you but your hands stayed where it was.

"Where's the other one?" You ask through gritted teeth, glaring up at him. He scoffs, smirks, shaking his head and looks at you with innocent eyes.

"I have no idea. You tell me," He smiles devilishly once again, and you click your tongue in annoyance. You step farther away from them and your face scrunches, annoyance and anger getting the best of you.

You launch a hard kick on his stomach which sent him flying away from the polices hands, and you dashed at him with the intent of then punching him in the face as he folds in pain. You put your foot in his chest and sigh satisfyingly.

"I'm asking you once again. Where the hell is he," He cowardly hides his face under his hands as he groans in pain due to your weight on his chest.

"He's in the walk in freezer in the basement!"

Right as he reveals Sangyeon's location, the police runs to the basement as you tail them, leaving the assailant with a hard, last push of your weight on his chest.

The medical team prepares heaters and hot packs, towels, coats as you wait for it to be opened, tapping your foot as finally, Sangyeon- half conscious and shivering and all tucked up in a corner, comes into sight.

They rush in to usher him out, putting endless of towels and coats over him and handing him hot packs and leading him to a heater. He sighs in relief, seeing your worried face that he oh so loved so much, unscratched and waiting for him, he smiles.

The police, now all done with their work inside with Sangyeon spotted, leaves you both alone and you finally break into tears.

You tightened your jaw, making your way towards him with heavy, angry steps. Sangyeon ineffectively tries to turn around to find someone that can shield him or just run away but the towels and coats limit his movements.

You warm your fingers up as you land a hard punch on his arm, the punch going through the thick layer of towels coats that causes him to groan in pain and lie on his side.

"Oh my god," Sangyeon breathes out, looking at you. "I thought you were worried about me!"

"I said I was going to kill you with my own two hands if you had the slightest scratch on your body." You remind him, fingers folding to a fist to get ready to punch him again.

"Stop! That hurts!" Although it really did hurt (two things he feared for life was death and an angry y/n), a smile was plastered on his face as he shuffles himself to sit, facing you with the biggest smile. "The operation was a success, aren't you happy for me?"

You were silent. You were still glaring at him as he met your eyes, but he knows that you were only worried sick about him. It was indeed a dangerous mission, and the fact that if he wasn't found for another minute, he would've died.

But he didn't, and he get to see how worried you were right when those doors of the freezer opened. He gets to see you.

That was worth it.

Your fist relaxes as you meet his eye level, sighing in relief as you took him into your arms, giving him the tightest (almost deadly), warmest, and sweetest hug that assured him of everything.

"Never do these kinds of operations again," You mumble, burrowing your face in the towels that held him closer than you. "I get worried sick. Being a good cop is boring. I'll be the bad cop now so you don't get to do these kinds of things anymore. How about that?"

You hear Sangyeon chuckle as he's now the one burrowing his chin in the crook of your neck, enjoying the warmth you exuded. He definitely was not going to let you do that, but now he just decided to keep quiet and enjoy how he fit right into your arms.

"I missed you."

permanent taglist: @sunlightwoo

[alexander-arcturus-black-lupin-r]

Look at her, I would die for her, I would kill for her.

Either way

What ~bliss

Over and Over I keep going over

The World We Knew

What ~bliss

[magnusbae]

In case you were wondering why Spotify Wrapped sucks balls this year, and more importantly doesn't have any genre data:

Can you hear the sound of bells? That's because they're clowns. 🤡 🛎

[everoutoftouch]

If you have Spotify reblog this and tag what your number one song on your “on repeat” playlist is.

[wish-i-were-heather]

im genuinely convinced that they used ai for the monthly thing on spotify wrapped. what do you mean may was my "coastal grandmother ukulele oldies" phase. august was "pink pilates princess strut pop??" no one would say that september was my "sweater weather permanent wave indie" moment. no way we waited so long for this. multiple people and i also noticed that it took a few seconds longer than usual to load, maybe im just impatient but i wouldnt be surprised if that was ai preparing like all of it as i clicked through. spotify has been using a lot of ai lately with the playlist making, dj, playlist cover designer and now whatever this ai podcast thing is.

[liusia-piu]

[bandzboy]

since spotify wrapped is coming today i just want to bring awareness to the fact that around 86% of the songs on spotify are currently demonetized since spotify decided that tracks with under 1,000 cannot be monetized. not only that the ceo of spotify cashed out $35.8 million dollars in spotify shares in the third quarter of the year and it has been reported that he earns more than the top artists on the platform.

for a platform that claims to support artists, this is outrageous and i hope people realize that an artist who is starting out, cannot make a living out of spotify streams simply because daniel ek and his friends made it worse for the artists trying to start a career. if you wanna support musicians and the possibility for them to get a living wage please follow United Musicians and Allied Workers (UMAW) which are trying to make The Living Wage for Musicians Act a reality so musicians can be paid fairly through streaming platforms and get the cut they deserve.

[chappellrroan]

before spotify wrapped comes out i just want to let everyone know that i am very very very normal and sane and happy person

[monstersliveinthemirror]

#25 on Spotify wrapped says how 2025 is going to go. how's it going for you?

[gayorphandepression]

got my wrapped

[hunnicute]

i dont think spotify knows what a genre is

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[nerdicorntheshipper]