#[that note is mostly for me; gonna use that one for any other posts should i ever see them]

[mayrose713]

Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 10

Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI

Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed

Warning: Smut First time I've ever written smut, so I'm sorry if it sucks (I'm updating the warnings in the series masterlist so this is the only other warning for smut from here on out)

Also want to let everyone know that with holiday seasons coming up, work is getting busier and I'm gonna be working more days than my normal here soon so it's gonna be a bit harder to write. I promise to update as often as possible and I'm gonna start adding dates next to the upcoming chapters in the masterlist on when they should be posted so refer to that.

thank you everyone for reading, now enjoy

Chapter 10

“How was it?” Jisung asks after Y/n walks out of the office he was waiting for her in front of as she was talking with her therapist and psychiatrist and he can see the signs that she’s been crying which doesn’t surprise him. 

“Weird.” She sniffles, wiping her nose with a tissue. “They asked me a lot of mental health questions mostly, and they want to put me on anti anxiety meds for sure and maybe antidepressants.”

“It’s not too bad.” He takes her hand to lead her back to the lobby where Chan is waiting for them. “I was put on the same when I first started coming here. Still take the anxiety ones actually.”

“Really?” She looks at him surprised. 

“Yeah.” He nods his head. “I was homeschooled as a kid so I didn’t socialize as much as I should have and it caused a lot of anxiety because of it. The only reason I know Chan and Changbin is because my dad worked for their dads originally. Really they were my only friends back then.”

“Good to know.” She nods, frowning. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I just realized I don’t actually know a lot about all of you guys, or how you all came to be.” She whispers, looking at the floor. 

“Well feel free to ask questions whenever, we‘ll be happy to answer.” He squeezes her hand as they walk out into the lobby and Chan looks up at them.

“You okay?” Chan stands as the two walk up to him and he pulls her into his side. 

“Yeah, it was just a lot.” She hands him the paper for her anti-anxiety prescription. 

The alpha looks over it and sighs but understands and reads the note about possible antidepressants but they want to have more sessions with her to determine that. 

“I’m gonna ask you like I had asked Ji when they wanted to prescribe him this too.” He moves her to look at him. “Do you want to be put on medication? Do you think it will actually help you?”

“I-I don’t know. I’ve never taken stuff like this before.” She stutters. “But I’m wary because of the injections.” She then looks over at Jisung. “Does it help you?”

“Yeah, I think so.” He smiles at her. “I feel like I’m able to get through the day easier with it. And don’t worry, it’s nothing like how the injection was.”

Y/n nods her head still thinking about it and Chan tilts her head to look up at him. “Hey, you can try them out for a bit and if you don’t like how they make you feel or don’t think they’re helping then we can slowly get you off of it.” He reassures her. “We did that with Jisung for his antidepressants.” 

“Okay.” She whispers. “I’ll try it.” 

Chan goes and gets the prescription sent in to be picked up at the pharmacy in Stayville and picks it up on their way home. 

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

“Baby girl.” Chan stops the omega as she walks past his room and motions for her to come in. “I’ve noticed you’ve been in your head since we got home, talk to me.” He shuts the door after she walks in.

She sighs as he leads her to sit on his bed. “I just realized today that I don’t actually know a lot about all of you.” 

“That’s all?” He watches her closely as she nods her head. “Baby, all you have to do is ask us questions and we’ll tell you anything you want to know.” 

“Can you tell me about your family and where you came from?” She asks shyly. “I remember Minho telling me that Hannah visits from Australia a lot. And Dr. Hajoon was calling you Chris.” 

“Yeah.” He smiles and laughs a little as he sits next to her. “My English name is Christopher. I was born here but was mostly raised in Australia. My dad went back and forth from there and here to help Changbin’s dad run the company. His dad retired so he and I handle the Korean office while my dad still runs the one there.”

The omega nods as she listens. “Your brother is an omega. What about Hannah? And your parents?”

“Lucas is our only omega in my family pack too.” He smiled at her. “My dad is an alpha and so is Hannah. My mom is a beta.”

“Would we ever be able to go visit Australia?” She whispers.

“Of course.” He lifts her head to look at him. “As a pack we own a vacation house there so that Felix and I are able to visit our families often.”

Y/n’s jaw dropped. “How did I not realize that Felix is also Australian?”

“I don’t know, baby.” He laughs a bit. “Felix and I have known each other since we were kids. I taught him Korean and after I had moved and gotten settled here with Changbin, Jisung and Seungmin we moved him here.” 

“Ji said you guys were the only friends he had since his dad worked for yours.” She looks over his facial features. “How did everyone else come into the pack?”

“Well, Seungmin and I went to high school together here. I was his senior.” He smiles as she listens closely. “He was a bit unsure of himself when he realized we were fated. I had to go up to him first and tell him about Changbin and Jisung, who I was living with and tell him about Felix back home.”

“Minho had run into Jisung at a caffe not far from the office. At the time Minho was a backup dancer for BTS but after meeting Ji and wanting to court him since he was his fated mate, he decided to stay in Seoul and started teaching dance. And Ji convinced him to meet the other four of us as he knew we were his fated mates too.”

“Min was a backup dancer for BTS?” Y/n gawks. “I don’t believe it.”

“Look up some of their live performances, you’ll see.” And she makes a mental note to do so later. “Hyunjin and Jeongin met each other in school and knew they were each other's fated mates. Hyunjin had started taking classes from Min and even though they both realized they were fated mates, Jinnie was too scared of Minho to talk to him about it and Min wasn’t about courting his student.”

Y/n couldn’t help but laugh at how cute the whole situation is. “So how did it finally happen?”

“Felix.” Chan smirks. “Changbin had dropped him off at the studio one day to bring Minho lunch and Hyunjin fell in love at first sight. After that Lix made Jinnie and Min talk and Hyunjin told them about Jeongin and they told him about the rest of us.”

“That’s all really cute.” The omega gushes. “Best story ever.”

“I don’t know.” He grins at her mischievously. “I think my favorite story is the one about how we met our omega.” He grabs her pulling her onto his lap so she’s straddling him causing her to blush.

“Channie.” She pouts as he holds her hips and Y/n can’t help but to glance down at his lips, thinking about what it would be like to kiss him.

Y/n starts to wonder if they’re gonna claim her soon or not, thinking back to what her brother had told her, about them possibly just using her.

“You’re thinking too much, baby girl.” The alpha grips her hips a bit tighter causing her to whine a little. “Just say it.”

“Please.” She looks back and forth from his eyes to his lips.

“You’ve gotta say it.” She continues to pout though and he lightly spanks her ass. “Come on baby, I don’t know what you’re wanting if you don’t speak up.”

“Please claim me, alpha.” She sounds disparate.

“Fuck.” He growls, pulling her down to kiss her lips. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

The kiss is heated and passionate, he smirks at the small wines she’s making. He spanks her again causing her to gasp and the alpha takes the opportunity to slide his tongue past her lips. She doesn’t try to fight back with her tongue, already submitting to him.

He pulls away from the kiss and starts trailing kisses down her jaw to her neck, relishing in the little sounds she makes. He groans into her neck when she bucks her hips against him, her nails digging into his shoulders. 

Chan buries his nose into her scent gland before switching their positions so she’s on the bed and he’s hovering above. One arm next to her head to keep himself up and the other lightly trailing up her bare thigh to the bottom of her skirt. 

“Are you sure about this, baby girl? Because once we start, I’m not stopping.” He looks into Y/n’s eyes, seeing how desperate and needy she already is as she nods her head. “Words baby, I need you to use your words.”

“Yes alpha, I’m sure.”

“Good girl.” He growls as he pushes her skirt up and cups her sex, feeling how damp her underwear is. “Fuck, my little omega, you’re already so wet.” 

Y/n covers her face with her hands in embarrassment as he continues to rub her through her panties letting out little whines and moans. 

“Don’t hide from me.” Chan grabs both of her wrists with one hand and moves them from her face and pins them above her head. “There she is, my beautiful girl.”

“Channie.” Y/n bucks her hips against his hand. “You’re teasing.”

“Am I?” He fake pouts at her before taking his hand away from her and she whines and squirms as he still holds her in place. “What’s wrong? I thought you didn’t want me to tease you? So I stopped.” 

“Chan, please.” And with a smirk at her begging he lets go of her wrists, moving his hands to her blouse and takes it off and raises a brow at her bare chest. “No bra? Tsk, naughty girl.”

“Took it off when we got home.” Y/n pants. “It was uncomfortable.” 

“Of course it was.” He coos, kissing her lips again and cups her boob, squeezing it a little before playing with her nipple. 

She arches her back, moaning into his mouth as she starts pulling at his shirt trying to get it off. Chan sits back pulling the shirt over his head and she ogles him, eyes roaming over every muscle of his torso. She then notices the bulge in his jeans, sitting up she unbuttons them as he smiles while watching her, helping take his pants off leaving him in his boxers. 

Chan grabs the waistband of her skirt, pulling it down along with her panties before pushing her to lay back down as he looks over her.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers, moving his fingers to play with her slit before pushing a finger in causing her to bite her lip. “You’re so tight, baby. If you can’t take my finger, how are you gonna take my cock?”

“I can take it.” The omega moans as he starts to finger her. “Please alpha, I can, I promise.”

“Let me prep you first.”

He pushes a second finger in and makes a come hither motion and she arches her back once again grabbing onto his arm as he speeds up his fingers. 

“Channie, please.” Y/n whimpers as he pulls his fingers out of her pussy, bringing his fingers to his mouth to taste her slick.

“Mmm, you tastes so good. Gonna have to eat you out sometime.” He wastes no time sliding his boxers off before leaning over her, lining up with her. “This might hurt a little, but I promise it will get better, just let me know if it gets to be too much.”

“Okay.” Y/m whispers and gasps when he starts to push in. 

When Chan feels some resistance he gives a hard thrust, completely bottoming out inside her causing her to moan a little in pain and pleasure. He stays still, looking at her face to check she’s okay and wipes away a tear from her eye.

“Does it hurt?”

“A little.” The omega whimpers before grinding against him. “Please move.”

Chan pulls out a bit before thrusting back in causing her to gasp again as he moves. Her expression soon changed from that of a bit of pain into pleasure.

“You’re so tight, baby girl.” He grunts as her hands go to his shoulders, claws coming out and start digging into his skins as she becomes a moaning mess under him.

“Please alpha, more.” And he speeds up his rhythm, rutting into her as he looks down to where they are connected seeing just how well she’s taking him. 

When he sees some blood, which shockingly didn’t make her feel bad for hurting her but turned him on more knowing he’s taken her innocence and now belongs to the pack, to him. The sight of it causes him to harden his thrust and he grabs her hands from his shoulders placing them next to her head and holds them.

“Channie… ah.” Y/n squeezes his hands, head turning to the side as her eyes close, her walls clamping around him.

“Fuck.” He growls, loving the sound her slick makes around his cock. “You close baby?”

She nods in desperation and the knot at the base of his cock starts to swell. “Please, Chan, so close. Want your knot, please. Please claim me.”

Chan nuzzles into her neck for a moment smelling at her scent gland before biting down hard, teeth breaking the skin as he tastes her blood. She screams and cums around him, shaking in pleasure, her juices squirting everywhere making a mess of both of them and the bed. She thought the bite would hurt but instead she just feels a flood of his love and emotions for her.

He stays latched onto her neck riding out her pleasure before his knot inflates all the way and he releases his load into her. His knot keeps him locked in as his cum fills her up, some spilling out around his cock. It isn’t until she’s milked him dry that he lets go of her neck, licking his lips of her blood.

Y/n gazes up at him looking fucked out as he lets go of one of her hands to push some of her hair out of her face. “You did so good, baby girl.”

“Wanna bite you too.” The omega whimpers as she tries to move but his knot still hasn’t softened, keeping him in place.

Chan leans down, giving her access to his neck, the side with only three mate marks and she bites down just under the bottom one. He groans in pleasure and lets her stay there as long as she wants. 

Once she lets go she looks up at him, eyes full of love. “My alpha.”

“That’s right baby.” He coos and kisses her lips. “I love you so much.”

“Love you too.”

______________________________________________________________

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this series

Tag list: @pixie0627 @sinfulfic @estella-novella @mbioooo0000 @ms-flowergirl

@blindspot143 @ihrtlix @arishoriasims @fic-for-readers @motheraiya55

@hwangrfrnd @lxvxchxrlxttxbxrsx22-blog @juskz @borahae-reads @dreamerwasfound

@galaxy4489 @kayleefriedchicken @lostgirlinthewoodss @catkight @royal-shinigami

@notevenheretbh1 @passionandsuga @m00njinnie @sukss @n1nme4r

[piningpercussionist]

SO estatic to have your approval,, an honor, truly,,,

good morning gay people is this anything

[marlenesluv]

i have so many thoughts (ur so talented). any f1 driver x southern gal who is an nhl analyst

Off the Ice. (CS)

feel free to send whatever! i love doing these! and thank you sm🥹 i love this idea, i wanna get more into hockey at some point. but i hope i make sense in this lmaoo. i chose carlos for this one, mainly bc i haven’t written for him yet lol. i hope you enjoy! :)

pairing: carlos sainz x nhl analyst reader

fc: no fc, j pinterest photos

warnings: none!

note: i had to look up what an analyst is lmao. but i got mixed answers. so bear with me😭 also, reader is a tennessee nhl team, the nashville predators, analyst. like, from tennessee and analyzes mostly tennessee games. (if this is wrong, then i’m sorry… :/ )

masterlist here -> masterlist link

^ check my list for all posts! ^

liked by: predsnhl, carlossainz55, and 692,024 others

y/n.user: home, hockey, and heart🤎

view comments…

nhl.fanszz: THE THIRD PICTURE???

↳ predatoredits: i’m genuinely so confused by it????

f1updates: carlos….what are you doing here?

↳ nhlpageee: excuse me??? carlos as in formula 1 driver?

↳ f1updates: uhhhuhhhh

yourbsf: ugh, the days i wish i was southern so i could own a farm

↳ y/n.user: good thing you know someone who does💛

↳ yourbsf: omg so true 💛💛

user7: my fav nhl analyst ❤️‍🔥

↳ user3: realllll❤️‍🔥

carlossainzfanpage: CARLOS LIKED🤯🤯🤯

↳ mclarenbabe: BROOOOOOO WHATS GOING ONN

_______________________________________________

liked by: landonorris, y/n.user, and 501,924 others

carlossainz55: i love tennessee 🤎

view comments…

y/nfanpage7: y/n said ‘let’s soft launch’ and carlos rly said ‘mmm what if we don’t?!’

f1updates: this is like….a big deal to me

danielricciardo: i love the south, mate. should have brought me 🤠

↳ carlossainz55: mate. just fly out on your private jet…

↳ danielricciardo: i’ll wait, i don’t wanna disturb your date lollll

user09: daniel knows something we don’t

↳ user4: to be fair, the whole grid probably knows something we don’t

y/neditzzz: you guys don’t even need to launch, we know

pierregasly: hmm, are you really the smooth operator?

↳ carlossainz55: 😐

carlosfppp: THE FIRST PIC🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

↳ f1wags: REAL

_______________________________________________

liked by: carlossainz55, oscarpiastri, and 701,119 others

tagged: carlossainz55

y/n.user: i was under the impression we were soft launching, but since everyone figured it out…surprise shawtyyy🤠🤫

view comments…

carlossainz55: i actually look good in these

↳ y/n.user: you always look good?!

↳ f1editpage: one of us one of us one of us

carloschiliiii: omg, she’s gonna feed us carlos selfies

↳ carlandofp: and carlos at hockey games 🤭

↳ carloschiliiii: OMG🫣😰🤭

alex_albon: that soft launch didn’t last long

↳ y/n.user: 😶oopsie

user23: i do be eating up their relationship and we only just started 🫠

lewishamilton: carlos has a gf? how did you bag an nhl analyst

↳ carlossainz55: wtf. mean.

_______________________________________________

liked by: y/n.user, maxverstappen1, and 559,024 others

tagged: y/n.user

carlossainz55: golf date ☺️💛

view comments…

lilymhe: omggg, y/n golfs!?

↳ y/n.user: yes :)

↳ lilymhe: let’s golf together!! we can let alex and carlos come too i guessss

↳ y/n.user: omg yes pls!! dm me!

↳ alex_albon: lily. you “guess” you’ll let us come with??

↳ carlossainz55: don’t steal her from me, i j got her :((

f1wags: new wag duo??

↳ carloooo: i’m living for it

user9: y/n is soo prettyy🥹

landonorris: more golfing buddies!

↳ y/n.user: yayaaya

fashionposts: the fit?? y/n ATE 👏

user1: my golfing couple frrrr

_______________________________________________

liked by: carlossainz55, danielricciardo, 704,024 others

y/n.user: got invited to one of these grid dinners and the only picture i have is of carlos reading the champagne

view comments…

landonorris: i’ll send you the ones i got

↳ y/n.user: thanks, lan

smoothoperatorrr: y/n is making him hotter

↳ user6: gf air is real!!

lewishamilton: so happy you could make it!!

↳ y/n.user: thx lewis! me too :)

f1wagsss: y/n takes amazing pics of carlos holy shitt

y/nandcarlosfp: get her a .jpg account FR

↳ smoothhoperatorr: so true UGH

carlossainz55: so the only photo you got was of your sexy boyfriend?

↳ y/n.user: it’s really the only photo i need..soooo

↳ carlossainz55: 😉

user9: she’s turned him into an even more shameless flirt AHHHH livingggg

carmenmmundt: i have a photo of you and carlos…i’m sending it

↳ y/n.user: paparazzi who??

↳ carmenmmundt: Y/N😭😭 THANK ME LATER CUZ YOU GUYS LOOK SO GOODDDD

user3: ARE THEY GATE KEEPING THE PHOTO??

↳ y/n.user: …..yes

_______________________________________________

(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)

[cripplecharacters]

This might be a bit of a weird question as I know this isn't a drawing blog, but do you happen to have any pointers for finding good reference photos for drawing cane users? I'm having trouble finding interesting/dynamic poses, and the vast majority of pose generator sites I've found don't even show people with mobility aids. Stock photo sites and google are also limited in their usefulness, mostly giving me very stiff poses. If you have any tips that would be great.

hello dearest asker!

I tried to be an artists once upon a time so let me direct you to some things that might help! Here is an excellent post written up by @deoidesign shows how motion and functionality with a cane works. Here is a post by @sparrowsocks on the cane design itself and the practicality of it. Here is another "How To" guide that is a bit more simple but covers how the hand changes with different handles.

Here is a reference of hands gripping cylindrical objects that I think might be a little helpful. Grabbing a cane or just moving it are all things that go into it too.

If you're going for more a historical setting, Here is a library of sources of historical walking sticks and canes. That source is more novelty canes and not for practicality for a mobility aid, but Here is another source for History and it has more practical canes.

Also things like old photo rolls when film was just becoming what we know today could be something helpful too.

[Image Description: A black and white picture roll of two sets with twelve frames in each. The first roll is a side angle of a man holding a can and walking then taking a right turn and walking back. The second roll is a backside angle of the man walking with the cane and then taking a right turn and walking back.]

We can see for example in the first two frames how the opposite leg moves with the cane.

And of course we have more photos from the Victorian era of men with canes. Granted canes were used largely for fashion but a lot of people did use them for balance and such too. Also they're good references for poses while holding a cane.

Another thing I can recommend is just watching videos of someone using a cane. Look up disabled YouTubers or people who do physical therapy videos and they show largely how movement with a cane should look and more.

If you're looking for dynamic poses I would recommend looking up cosplayers or models who are disabled and use canes. But also looking up disabled actors that use canes or similar mobility aids and go through their filmography is another good way to see references. A lot of disabled people who are artists also post their own photos and videos for art references specifically too.

One last thing is how the character holds their body and what type of cane they need is gonna depend on how they are disabled. Working that out and doing more research is gonna change some things. But also even though there is a proper way to use a cane, some people use canes in different ways to suit their needs and comfort. The biggest example in media is House from House MD and while Hugh Laurie isn't disabled, he does a pretty accurate portrayal of someone using a cane in an alternative way. I personally (when I was getting fitted for one) would use my cane very much as House does, and other people have said much the same.

Hopefully this helps in some way and your fellow artists may be able to throw more help in the notes. Happy drawing!

~Mod Virus 🌸

[poorlittlegreenie13]

Another 'Rules For (fake) Dating an Italian' deleted scene that I promised to post: (the omitted shower scene from chapter nine)

this was gonna start where they were walking to the L after dinner... but the chapter was getting too long & it's kind of dumb & just wasn't feeling it lolll. But you can read it if you really want to! (& I didn't proofread it. sorry! Hopefully no egregious errors).

When she finally looks up again, she finds herself staring at the CVS across the street and stops abruptly. 

“Oh, come with me,” she says, tugging his hand to J-walk across the street. 

“Syd!” Carmy says, eyes widening, glancing at the cars approaching on either side of them. 

“Pedestrians have right of way!” Sydney says, pulling him quickly across before either of them can get flattened. 

“What do you need from CVS?” Carmy says, slightly breathless, as they walk in, dry heat hitting them both as the doors slide closed on the Chicago cold. 

“It’s not what I need, it’s what you need,” she says, pulling him toward the shampoo aisle. 

“Oh, you were serious about the shampoo,” he says, though he doesn’t sound particularly upset about it. 

Would she be crazy if she thought he might actually sound slightly overwhelmed by the idea? But not in a bad way. More in the way where he looks like he’s holding back his actual reaction. She wants to see it.

“I’m not letting you bald in your early thirties because you used 3-in-1 your whole life,” Sydney says, stopping in front of a shelf of shampoos and conditioners and carefully choosing a pair of bottles, which she hands to Carmy. 

“Sounds great,” he says, not even looking at them. The words have a hazy quality to them. She smiles at him, grabbing a bottle of leave-in conditioner for good measure. 

“You need anything else?” she asks him. 

He shakes his head quickly and she nods, walking toward the register, Carmy trailing behind her. 

Somehow, Sydney did not notice them walking through a section of condoms and lube on their way to the hair productions on the way in. 

She notices now though. 

There are a couple of people waiting to check out at the register, and she intended to hang back, not wanting to crowd them, but she realizes now the connotation of her pausing in this particular section of the store. 

Carmy clears his throat. She looks at him. He’s blushing. He’s so pathetic sometimes; she’s fucking crazy about him. 

“Should I…?” he says. 

On any other occasion, she might’ve teased him about trailing off instead of being able to say it out loud, but he’s already so red in the face, she decides to be merciful. 

“What, you don’t have one in your wallet?” she says. “What kind of date is this?”

“You’re so mature, Sydney,” he says, holding back a smile, shaking his head at her. “So mature.”

“You’re the one who’s blushing,” she says, and he blushes harder, grabbing a pack of condoms off the shelf and walking away from her, up to the—now available—register. 

She follows closely behind him, drunk on the ease of it all; the absurd, entrancing way they seem to be able to speak to each other. She’s never had that with anybody else before. She likes the way he smiles when she tries to make a joke. 

In his apartment—a mutually-agreed-upon destination landed on during an L-ride that consisted mostly of staring at each other—Sydney kicks her shoes off by the door and sizes him up for a second.

He fills a glass with water and sets her flowers into them. Then he empties his pockets onto the counter; keys, wallet, phone, cigarettes, then finally, he carefully sets the plastic CVS bag down next to them, looking over at Sydney with a note of uncertain expectation on his face.

“I feel like I should offer you food, but we just ate,” he says, smiling ruefully. 

Sydney stays silent for a second, wondering if she’s being like… overly horny, and weird.

But then she considers the fact that Carmy is still blushing, and decides it’s probably fine. 

“I could, uh, show you how to use that stuff,” she says, inclining her head toward the CVS bag, then, after a moment of silence, quickly adding, “I meant the hair stuff. I didn’t mean the condoms. I mean, we can… we can use the condoms. If you want. But I’m sure you’re… perfectly capable of using those yourself. No instructions necessary.” She forces an awkward little laugh. 

He smiles at her. Not patronizing, or annoyed. He smiles at her like there’s nothing more charming on this earth than her making an utter fool of herself. She watches him bite his bottom lip, trying not to laugh, and then he laughs anyway, a sweet, boyish sound. A sound that makes affection for him swell up in her chest like a helium balloon. 

She finds herself scoffing too. 

“It wasn’t that funny,” she says. 

He presses his lips together in a thin smile to stop laughing. There’s color in his cheeks; a warmth to him, underneath all the overly-formal newness of the date. 

She snatches the CVS bag off the counter, turning and walking toward the bathroom without waiting for him.

She hears him following close behind her. She kicks her shoes off, stopping outside his shower and pulling her sweater over her head (unable to stop herself from neatly folding it and setting it gently down on the closet toilet seat. Because heaven forbid it get fucked up; she loves it like an old friend). 

When she looks up, Carmy is standing in the doorway, tongue playing at the corner of his mouth, eyes fixed on her.

Jesus Christ, are they actually doing this?

Theoretically, stripping her clothes off in front of a guy she just went on a first date with isn’t really her style. 

This is different though, isn’t it? 

Honestly, she doesn’t really care. 

She’s standing in just her skirt, and the bra she picked out that morning (not a particularly nice bra, to be completely honest, she only owns four bras and they’re all the same, just in different colors).

Carmy’s eyes don’t move off her, but his fingers come to the buttons of his shirt, undoing them with absurd dexterity, until he has enough room to pull it over his head, leaving him in a white wife beater, gold chain glinting. 

“Oh, fuck you,” Sydney says. 

Carmy scoffs. “Fuck me? You’re the one who looks like that.”

“Like what?” Sydney demands indignantly. 

“Like a fucking angel,” Carmy says, a disbeliving laugh breaking through his words halfway through the sentence. 

“You look like Marlon fucking Brando,” she says. 

“You look cold,” Carmy says, smile softening. “Wanna turn that water on?”

Simple command, but it still makes her smile fade, and her cheeks heat. She nods, turning and reaching into his shower to turn the hot water on, standing on the bathmat where it can’t reach her. 

With her back still turned to him, she reaches to undo the clasp of her bra, sliding it off and letting it fall to the tile floor of his bathroom. 

She hears him inhale. 

Hears a faint rustle of fabric. 

She brings her fingers to the zipper of her skirt and pauses, looking over her shoulder at him. 

He’s taken his undershirt off. 

She stands unmoving for a long moment, stuck in the feeling of him staring at her like a fly stuck in honey. 

“Syd,” he says gently, after a moment. “You sure you wanna do this?”

“Do you want to do this?” she asks. 

He exhales a soft laugh. 

“Yes,” he says simply. 

“Well, so do I,” she says, turning back to look at the shower water, unzipping the side of her skirt. “Get over here,” she says, one hand still holding her skirt up. 

Carmy crosses quickly to her; shirtless, impossible. His eyes flick down to her chest, but quickly come back up to her face, like he thinks she might not notice. 

She did notice. She didn’t mind. 

“You first,” she says, nodding toward his pants, still buttoned. 

He scoffs, and a blush creeps up his exposed chest, but he unbuttons them anyway, pushing them down his hips and stepping out of them, left in boxers and socks. 

She lets her skirt drop, kicking it over the same way as Carmy’s pants, and without letting herself hesitate, slides her panties down her hips too and steps under the water, inhaling sharply as it hits her head, instantly banishing any hints of the cold from her body. 

She hears the curtain slide shut, and when she opens her eyes, Carmy is standing across from her, his back pressed to the cold tiles behind the showerhead, totally dry. 

She steps back so he can stand under the water too, but he makes no motion to move until she reaches out and takes one of his wrists in her hand, pulling him under the water. 

He tilts his head back, water running over his face, curls straightening out beneath it. She finds her eyes catching on stray drops of water as they trail down his chest. 

But no. She’s getting distracted. 

“Carm,” she says. “Hair.”

“Really?” he says, with a faint note of exasperation, opening his eyes and looking at her. 

“What, did you think this was just an excuse to get you in the shower?” she says, reaching out to get the shampoo and conditioner and setting them on the shelf. “I don’t joke about curl patterns, Carmen.”

“Right,” Carmy says, shaking his head slowly. “I should’ve known.”

She smiles at him ruefully.

“I still don’t know what was so bad about my 3-in-1,” he says. 

Sydney rolls her eyes. 

“God, you’re hopeless,” she says, “here, just turn around.”

She puts her hands on his shoulders, spinning him to face the opposite shower wall. 

The water hits his face and he tilts his head back to avoid it. 

For a moment, she lets her eyes wander over his back; littered with tattoos, dripping with water. 

She wants to press a kiss to the space between his shoulder blades, but she settles instead for dragging her fingers over the slopes of his shoulders, down his biceps, lingering on his skin until she pulls her hands away to reach for the shampoo. She sees him shiver. 

“I never take warm showers,” he murmurs. Maybe to break the silence. Maybe just to talk. 

“Why not?” she asks, pouring some shampoo into one hand and replacing the bottle on the shelf in the corner of his shower. 

“I— oh,” he breaks off as she brings her hand to the back of his hair, beginning to massage the shampoo into his damp curls. “I, uh, I don’t know, just never… had the time for the water to warm up, I guess,” he says, quieter. 

She drags her fingers through his hair, bringing her left hand up to join her right, working across his scalp. 

“God, that’s— that’s good, Syd,” he says, words soft.

He steps back, maybe subconsciously, leaning into her touch. His back grazes her chest and she hears his breath catch. 

“Sorry,” he breathes, freezing in place.  

“Don’t be,” she says. “Step under the water for me though, we need to wash this out.”

“Mmhm,” he says, leaning his head forward to catch under the water. The bubbles of the shampoo run down his back, following the path of his spine.  

When the water runs clear, no more shampoo running down the drain, he turns around to look at her. His eyelashes have droplets of water stuck in them. His hair is plastered to his forehead. 

“Done?” he asks. 

“No,” she says, smiling at how disheveled he looks.  “Conditioner now.”

“Oh,” he says, exhaling. 

“It’s good to leave the conditioner in for a few minutes sometimes,” she says, swallowing hard, reaching blindly behind her for the bottle, uncapping it and squeezing some into her palm. He watches her do it. “Makes your hair softer, you know?”

“Whatever you say,” he says, though he doesn’t seem particularly invested in her haircare instructions. 

She doesn’t make him turn around this time, just smooths his hair back with one hair and combs the conditioner through with the other, enjoying the way his eyes flutter shut as she drags her fingernails lightly over his scalp. 

When she’s done, he doesn’t open his eyes. 

She studies his face for a second; greedy and unhurried. 

He’s so fucking beautiful. 

“Carm,” she says. 

“Mm?” he says, eyes opening. 

She smiles softly at the dazed expression on his face, and drops her eyes to his lips. As she leans into him, she sees the tiniest flicker of surprise, and then he’s leaning back to meet her, that hungry kind of kissing that unfailingly disarms her. 

Her chest presses against his, their wet skin sliding easily together, making her body hum to life. 

She isn’t sure if she steps forward, or he steps back, but as they move together, the shower water begins raining down over both their heads. Sydney tastes flat water catching between their lips; the shock of the heat of it makes her gasp, and when she pulls back from Carmy, he’s red and breathless.

“I… think it, uh, washed itself out,” she says, glancing at his hair. 

“Yeah?”

She nods slowly.

“Smells good,” he says, running his fingers through his own damp hair. 

She smiles at him. “It’ll be soft when it dries.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhm,” she says, nodding, becoming less capable of words as he stares at her more intensely. 

“You wanna… dry off?” he asks. “Then we can… you know. Whatever you want.”

“Yeah,” she says. 

He reaches behind him, turning the water off. 

There are towels under his sink and he tosses her one. 

“Don’t you dare towel dry your hair,” she says. 

He blinks at her. 

“Wha—how am—what am I supposed to do if I don’t towel dry it?”

“You need to scrunch it up and let it dry naturally.”

“Uh-huh,” he says. “Maybe show me that next time.”

She rolls her eyes as he towels his hair off in a way that is absolutely going to undo any progress she made. But she doesn’t really care. 

“Bedroom?” she asks, wrapping the towel he gave her around herself. 

“Yes,” he says, 

[precambrian-sea-pancake]

Gonna infodump about my D&D character

(Sadly forced to keep things confidential because my party members follow me on tumblr…you know who you are 👁️👁️)

I’ve only had Gawain for a short time but OH MY GOODNESS I FUCKING ADORE THIS SILLY GUY!!

Also kinda shocked that the moodboard I made for him got that many notes. That’s a first…

Also please enjoy the drawing @hootbon made for me. I will never shut up about their art.

So…for what CAN post publicly…

Gawain is your token Lawful Good Paladin TM. Bonus points for being a protector aasimar I guess. (Though I might multiclass into a bard depending on how things go. It would fit him well. They’re my favorite spell caster.)

His personality is gonna be SO fun to play. Before I explain that, I should mention that he’s actually the youngest of the group at 24. The second youngest is the Kobold (Maran) who’s 37. So he’s a lot more naive and still understanding himself and the world around him. People often dismiss him due to that unfortunately. But, you know, imagine a dumb collage age boy and you get somewhat of an idea.

He’s a very sweet and compassionate guy, extremely extroverted and fun loving…maybe a bit flirty at times. Definitely cracks witty comments and one liners in battles ranging from something clever to “suck my dick” or something dumb like that. That doesn’t mean he can’t be serious, he absolutely knows when he should. Ironically he’s the most “normal” of the group, often being the straight man. Overall heart of gold and just wants to help people.

He has a bit of a rebellious and impulsiveness to him. As clever as he is, he’s mostly driven by his emotions. It’s always a “do what feels right in the moment�� rather than logic. In general he’s just very emotional and struggles with hyper empathy. This also causes him to question a lot of the authority around him.

I’d also say he has that Disney Princess syndrome. Gawain is convinced that he has some grand destiny and is meant for more. He’s always wanted to explore and learn more about the world, meet new people and cultures, live a life of glory and adventure. Maybe he’s in over his head or maybe he’s not…we’ll see.

However, another big reason for doing all this is that he wants to understand who he is…more accurately WHAT he is. He was born to humans, raised by humans, and grew up in a mostly all human kingdom. So he grew up thinking he was one despite some strong differences between him and the others. Aasimar are VERY rare, and more like myths to most people, and others don’t even know they exist. So people either assumed he was blessed or cursed, some treated him like the messiah, and others thought he was a freak and dangerous. So yeah, he never felt like he belonged and wants to learn about himself.

Somewhere in his life he ended up becoming a squire and completed his training just before the start of the campaign…

And that’s all the backstory information I can post because my friends will see this.

I guess I can do a bit of trivia:

It’s still D&D lore, but the world itself is homebrew. Humans are actually not the majority race, far from it. Most humans live in a large archipelago with various human nations. I remember the DM said the estimated population of humans was 20,000 to 30,000. The two mainland continents are one dominated by dwarves and the other by elves, along with other races being far more common on the mainland. Not really about my character but I LOVE that detail. It’s somewhat relevant I guess since I said Gawain grew up in a human society.

The god he venerates most is Ilmatar.

His eyes reflect his emotions and power. When using any of his abilities or when under intense emotions (both positive and negative), his eyes will turn a solid gold color.

Prior to his training, he was a courier. His parents ran his town’s postal service and that’s one of the things that got him into the idea of adventuring.

He’s more of a cat person than a dog person. He likes both, but I feel like he’d go for the cat.

The first weapon he ever used was a bow rather than a sword. The specific sword he uses is an arming sword.

He is a wonderful singer, his voice is almost ethereal in when he sings (little aasimar headcanon of mine).

His favorite study is anthropology, but also really likes history and geography. He’s always collecting little souvenirs and trinkets from everywhere he visits.

He keeps a diary and loves to write stories and sketch things. A lot of story inspiration comes from his dreams, which are often very vivid…and he remembers them super well.

Neither of his parents have blonde hair, nor is it a recessive trait they had. It’s actually part of his aasimar traits.

He talks in his sleep because I think it’s funny.

If this wasn’t a medieval fantasy world, he’d definitely use Gen Z slang. Maybe even tell someone “L + Ratio” or “Skill issue” after besting them in battle. In that same hypothetical reality, his favorite band would be Starset and The Score.

He takes good care of his appearance and health, so he does enjoy certain beauty products. A spa day is his ideal day off.

He hates salmon. He thinks it tastes bad and prefers catfish. I don’t know why I even thought of that fact but it’s there.

[fearful-quartet]

So I've been listening to The Magnus Protocol, and managed to get my dad into TMA last year so he's now listening to Mag Protocol too. So last night we were listening in the car to the latest statement, and I was half-jokingly saying which fear the statement sounded like mostly, to which my dad starts talking about how he doesn't think these statements and the O.A.I.R are connected to the Fears at all. I'm gonna try to put a cut for anyone not caught up but here's how this led to a theory of mine:

So Lena said to Gwen that there's good and bad forces that need to be balanced, but she never said which side of that the O.A.I.R. is part of, if any. I was noting this when it hit me.

Every single Magnus Protocol Statement so far has been about misfortune coming around due to perceived fortune or a fortunate opportunity becoming misfortune.

Let's break this down ep by ep so you see what I mean.

Episode One: It's a little hard to figure out what the fortune is to the misfortune, especially since it's mostly getting us used to the characters and the overall setup of the show, but for the first statement I think it's not the statement giver, but the husband. Harriet (the one emailing) says he sounded excited in an unsettling way (I am assuming the "he" she is talking about is her husband since she doesn't mention anyone else). When she meets him, or what has him, she describes that he laughed and laughed. Her misfortune was his fortune, his joy.

The second statement in that episode of course is about the Institute, but by way of a bunch of spelunkers looking for something intriguing to discuss. I haven't quite figured out the connection here but I am sure there is one, even if it's through the characters (aka Sam) finding something within it.

Two: A lot easier to connect to this. Daria is finding joy through getting this tattoo that allows her to change how she looks and alter her appearance immensely (and grotesquely). Enough said.

Three: This statement is one that overall I just don't understand tbh, but I think it shows the opposite? As in the victim is experiencing fear and discomfort the entire time, but towards the end you'll notice he gets much more happy and calm about the situation.

Four: This is again easy, it's about a violin that needs blood but will give you amazing talent if you pay that price, and horrible bloodshed if you don't. Self-explanatory.

Five: The guy is trying to make a living off watching and reviewing horror movies, gets excited at a live showing of one just for him, then realizes it's not what it seems and posts everyone should see it. Easy enough. (Very Grifter's Bone in energy)

Six: The introduction to infamous new tumblr sexyman, Needles. I shouldn't have to spell out how he gets pleasure from others in pain by needles.

Seven: All I gotta say is it's "all for a good cause" and you should get the picture.

Eight: Utilizes that uncanny fear of false hospitality if you ask me, but either way this statement is clearly taking something associated often as comforting and twisting it.

Nine: The dice literally affect fortune and misfortune and likely make the statement giver into the embodiment of fortune. 'Nuff said.

Ten: Bonzo needs no explanation for this in his introductory episode so let's move on.

Eleven: This one goes more into obsession territory than anything, which is another running theme of the show and another theory, but it also talks about how the sea brings comfort so that could be part of it. (Also I noticed the sneaky possibly Dr. David reference in there lol)

Twelve: Now I know what you're gonna say, "How is this one connected to fortune at all, Cal? It's about some woman being traumatized at a strip club!" Well think about this: what if it wasn't supposed to end in Bonzo? Gwen gave Bonzo an "assignment," didn't she? And Lena pretty much outright says that this statement was that assignment. So it's possible this is what happened after stopping the initial outcome.

Thirteen: The latest episode as of typing this, and the most clear with evidence. The man literally gains a fortune from his own misfortune, so ya know it's right there.

So every statement is a good thing turned bad or a bad thing turned good. So what? Magnus Archives had plenty of statements similarly framed, so why am I focusing on it here?

Because what is the tagline for Magnus Protocol again?

Fear takes many forms.

[epickiya722]

Being in a fandom, like BNHA (most active there) has taught me some things...

It doesn't matter if a person shares the same favorite ships and characters as you, if they annoy you, they annoy you. Block them.

Ship wars are a total waste of time. They're pointless. If someone feels that their ship is better, let them. Don't waste your time arguing about it.

It's a shock when a fairly popular character isn't your favorite.

Rare pairs deserve more love. They're fun, and if you like one, don't be shy about it. You might get others to join you.

On that note, there are some ships though that should never have been thought about, but given if the fandom is a huge one, at least two people have thought about it.

There will always be bad takes about the protagonist (and other characters). It may be surprising to you, but there are people with very off-the-damn-wall takes. Ignore them and move on.

It's illegal for some characters to be mean apparently.

There will be assholes outside the fandom who jump on the bandwagon of hating the material without ever engaging with it and only possibly ever met two people within that fandom. Block and ignore.

Expect people to take what you say and twist it around to make you look like the asshole. There's going to be at least one person who just wants to debate with you because they're bored maybe.

There are people who use "KYS" without thought. No regard for how you may be feeling at that time. They're an ass.

There are people who haven't finished the source material and think they're right. Don't spend your time arguing with them. Block them and move on.

Your mutuals may be mutuals with someone else you don't like. That's fine.

People forgot that opinions and facts are totally different. People will choose what they think and feel is canon just to shape the narrative into what they want. Ignore and block.

Okay, the block button is your best friend.

No matter how you tag a fic, there's gonna be one person who will take it out on you. You put the ship tags, they ignored them and want to be an ass.

Shipping is very popular. So if you mostly write friendships (and rare pairs), there's a chance you won't get as much feedback on a fic (or art) if you wrote a fic with a ship (especially a popular one).

On that note, you might get someone who will try to make the pairing you wrote/drew as platonic into something romantic. You have every right to be upset if it does upset you. Especially, if it was clear that you wrote it as platonic. Not everything needs to be romantic and some people needs to grasp that idea.

Take breaks for you! Take those breaks!! Take them!! And don't feel guilty about it! Take care of yourself!!

If you disagree with someone's opinion, that is fine. But do not reblog or comment under their post because you never know what kind of person that is. Write your own post if you feel the need.

That's so far what comes to mind about what I have learned. This applies to any fandom.

[siyzuii]

  ✦    ⤹    점점 더 난 네게 빠져가    ⊹    ❍

    ⟢    ₊    ↷ 𝒴ou attack my heart!

⠀   ͡ ׅ ۟  kassiadreams/siyzuii  ָ֢  ֹ  ֹ ۪ 𝟥 new layout? do we fw it?

✦   ⁔⁔ ۪   my first moodboard ever idek what they're used for but i love making them (not dr related like i said it would be.. but oh well i'm obsessed with chuu in the underwater mv anyway) i hope it looks decent?? might put one for every post if i feel like it heheheh ⊹  ֗  

☆⠀⠀𓈒⠀⠀ׁ⠀⠀this song is truly the cutest thing ever and a literal masterpiece at that, dare i say my fav kpop song!! ok now back to the actual post sorry LOL⠀ ׅ⠀⠀ ͡

── NEW INTRO POST 🔔

◌⠀ׁ₊   ˚  hiii!!! this is my shifting blog (and also my main blog)!! my username used to be siyzuii and i used to go by xylia or léa so u might know me from there but i go by kassia now! (close friends can still call me stella ofc)

i shift.. obviously anyway i've shifted to my dr 3 times now and shifted to parallel realities (on accident too) like a whole lot of times i can't even count

i have discord, tiktok, and instagram but i pretty much only use discord & tiktok, i exclusively use insta if there's someone i'm friends with that genuinely doesn't have any other socials.

note that i also only post shifting content on here. but i'm also 10x more active on discord & tiktok (mostly discord) than i am on tumblr, so feel free to add me (pls ask for my user first bc i have anti shifter friends and i don't want them finding this lol)

i also write and make edits (like every 2 months) yay!!!!

── INTERACT NEOW!!!

other shifters (specifically kpop shifters i need my spotify premium back. hi yes lets yap about our drs together pls) (honestly i'll yap with anyone about each others drs) (this is a silent invitation)

i don't care if you don't believe in shifting, if you respect people who do believe in it (and aren’t gonna force your beliefs on them) feel free to interact! i don't know why you would but whatever

cool people!!!

── GO!!!!

anti shifters (bye)

basic dni criteria

people who actively hate on everything (do you have a life?)

── WHAT TO EXPECT FROM MY PAGE

shifting content (mostly storytimes & yapping and whatever with the occasional sprinkle of memes)

shitty & messy blog layouts because idk how this app works

rants

yapping

probably me going inactive for either 2 days or 2 weeks straight (school keeps me busy and i already skipped my homework for this)

i might call u slurs if we get close!! (THAT I CAN RECLAIM)

me NOT talking about my favs (i cant openly talk about them idk why it's so embarrassing bye)

potentially horrid english because english is not my first language (i pull this excuse every time)

slow replies on here bc i forget about this app 24/7

── MY CARRD

kassiadreams.carrd.co

literally this whole thing summarized

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ♡ ͟ ׂ 𓂂 THANKS FOR 400+ FOLLOWERS I LOVE YOU GUYS MWAH !! should i do anything special?? if u have any ideas lmk and i'll see what i can do LOL

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ⊹ ׂ ok i know a while ago i said to drop some stuff in my ask box bc i'm bored but i havent answered any of them yet BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO FIND THEM UNTIL I GOT ON MY PC AGAIN so i'm gonna restart this time i SWEAR ill actually go over them from now on everything you ask i WILL see. thx guys!!!!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ��� ۫ ໒ give me post suggestions i beg..

[absolutebl]

I Feel You Linger In the Air

You ready for this?

The quickest of quick thoughts: I loved this show and hated the ending, but not for the reason you think.

This is gonna be one of my big meta beast-sized posts, skip to the end for the final review.

Some Historical Context for I Feel You Linger In The Air - Thailand 1925-1932

I love history and so here's some info that any Thai watcher would likely know, but the rest of us might not... ready?

The Historical Stage:

Burma (now Myanmar) to the west is occupied by the British.

The French hold Vietnam to the east.

Everyone is bickering over what would become Cambodia & Laos.

China occasionally gets involved from the North (also, lots of immigrants from China at this time accounting for a large percentage of the merchant/middle class)

Eventually, Japan would invade during WWII.

In part, The Kingdom of Siam was kept a "neutral" party because none of the surrounding colonial powers wanted to risk offending any of the other players in the area.

Siam re-negotiated sovereignty in 1920 (from USA) and in 1925 (from France & Britain). But during the time of this show (late 1929) it was back to it's customary type-rope balancing act of extreme diplomacy with the allied western colonial powers that surrounded it.

Recognizing that Thailand was never colonized (although it was invaded), it's boarders were constantly nibbled at and it was "ambassador-occupied" off and on by westerners whose military backing and exploitive business concerns simply outmatched the monarchy, especially in the technology department (as well as by reputation on the global stage at the time).

In other words, the farang in this show (James & Robert) were always gonna be both the baddies and the power players of the narrative. (Farang is the Thai word for non-Thai's of European descent, the word means guava.)

The king of Siam at the time (Vajiravudh AKA Rama VI) was initially somewhat popular but also regarded as overly extravagant since Siam had been hit by a major postwar recession in 1919. It should also be noted that King Vajiravudh had no son because he was most likely gay (which at the time did not much concern the Siamese popular opinion, except that it undermined the stability of the monarchy leaving it without an heir).

He "died suddenly" in 1925 (age 44) with the monarchy weakened and succession handed off to his younger brother.

In 1932 a small circle of the rising bourgeoisie (all of whom had studied in Europe, mostly Paris), supported by some military, seized power from the monarchy in a practically nonviolent Siamese Revolution installing a constitutional monarchy. This is mentioned in IFYLITA in the last few episodes but did not (apparently) appear in the original novel.

Siam would then go through:

dictatorship,

WWII,

Japanese invasion,

Allied occupation,

democratic elections,

military junta,

the Indochina wars,

communist insurgency,

more democracy and popularization movements,

multiple coups,

more junta,

more monarchy,

eventually leading us to the somewhat chaotic insanity of Thai politics we have today. (Which is, frankly, a mix of monarchy, junta, democracy, egocentric popularism, and bribery.)

The Filming of I Fell You Linger in the Air

The director if this show, Tee Bundit (Hidden Agenda, Step by Step, Lovely Writer, TharnType), has never particularly impressed or offended me as a director. I would have called him simply "workmanlike" in execution: not offensive, serviceable.

So much so that I spent some time hunting for info on IFYLITA's cinematographer (who remains uncredited on MDL) because this one, of all Tee's pantheon, is ultra stylish. It, frankly, felt too good for him.

Specifically, there is a repeated visual motif in intimacy scenes of either Yai or Jom being filmed from behind a screen/drape/curtain making them seem more translucent, like a ghost or spirit. While the other half of the pair is filmed with sharp clarity. In the first half of the series this is more likely to be Yai (an unknown and mysterious element), as the show progresses, it's more likely to be Jom (the person outside of place and time, destined to vanish all together). This cleverly conveys story, tension, and foreshadow (future shadow?)

Occasionally we shift over so they both become obscured and then clear again.

This stylized version of dirty framing and filters is used to foreshadow and then constantly remind us about that Jom slipped (and is slipping) through time and the disconnect that causes to his sense of reality and purpose, and to his burgeoning relationship.

For example, the scene where Yai is drunk and asleep in his bed. The first time Jom is sitting in a chair drawing him. Yai is blurry behind the screen while Jom is solid and sharp.

This filming technique combined with dirty and peekaboo framing is being used to give the watchers the impression of looking at something we maybe shouldn't, like we are being creepy and intruding on their private time. After all, they can see EACH OTHER clearly, it's only us who have the visual impairment.

This gives us a sense of doom and discomfort and slight sensation that we shouldn't be there. We shouldn't be watching. But ALSO that we too are outside of time, filtered by the future.

In other words his sense of displacement is being used to trigger ours visually.

It's all quite clever.

It's both beautiful and atmospheric and discomforting and touch stressful. Meaning that it is ALSO a visual vehicle to drive narrative tension. As effective as scary music, perhaps more so in this show (since I personally found the musical motifs and refrains somewhat overused.)

Linguistic corner

The word for reflection and shadow is the same in Thai.

Note on the por/phor/phô honorific in Thai

I have not encountered it before in BL. I am indebted to @embraceyourfandom for the following information;

Phô is a paternal honorific, luang phô is used for respected monks. It basically means father. And is oft seen as male honorific for village elders. It's also used as a male prefix in the names of several occupations like:

พ่อครัว phô khrua (khrúa= kitchen -> chef)

พ่อค้า phô khá (khá= trade -> merchant)

พ่อมด phô mót (mót= person of occult knowledge -> wizard)

พ่อบ้าน phô bân (bân =house -> butler) - most relevant

So, Yai's use is probubly foreshadowing that Jom will be a butler for his house, and is primitively referring to him with this title.

All that said, phô can also be used by a "man who is older/higher on hierarchy to refer to a younger/lower on hierarchy man with intimacy and/or affection."

I think all this has to do with Jom's demonstration of education. Yai figured out early on that one of the reasons Jom doesn't belong and cannot fit in with the servants is that he is more educated than a peasant (of this time period), which for Yai adds up to him being originally from a higher status and possibly wealthy family, especially since Jom speaks English and has travelled (he has a non-northern accent).

There is very little Thai middle class at the beginning of the 1920s since trade is being dominated/dictated by the West, or Chinese merchant operations, and Siam is a monarchy. So for a nationalize Thai citizen educated means military, landed gentry with trade operations (like Yai), royal/political/diplomatic connections, or... none of the above. This changes, especially in the south, throughout this decade (as it did in other parts of the world). So there is a rising bourgeoisie going on in the background but it's not that obvious in Chang Mai at this time.

What Jom's educated lack of status means to Yai is that Jom's family either got wiped out or politically disenfranchised possibly as part of the 1912 attempted coups (or even WWI)? This would be mystifying for Yai because Jom doesn't act like he comes from a military family at all. So his background and status is very confusing for Yai, but Yai does know one thing...

Jom is NOT lower class by the standards of Yai's temporal worldview and existence.

For a young man to be educated and yet entirely alone is very dangerous and suspicious. Also, let's be clear, Jom doesn't look or act like a laborer. He red flags "cultured" all over the place.

Yai is paternalistic and caring towards Jom out the gate because Yai has a big ol'crush but also because he recognizes "his own" is trying to survive while isolated and scared.

Yai wants to rescue Jom. Yai is an ineffectual 20 year old gay intellectual. But poor thing sure tries.

Let's Talk About How I Felt About I Feel You Linger in the Air

The historical aspect was great.

I adore historical romances and we almost never get them in BL. I was always gonna be biased towards this show. (As indeed I am towards Nobleman Ryu's Wedding, Tinted with You, and To Sir With Love.) Aside from some classic Thai BL production issues (less than normal, this is very high production value for Thailand) and my issues around the sound track and repetitive repriens (which frankly were more noticeable because I binged the last half) I have no complaints on that score (heh heh).

The surrounding support cast were all quite good and we even got us some lesbians!

The emotional and narrative tensions were excellent.

Any issues I had with pacing came from focus on characters that didn't interest me, but probubly did interest others. I wasn’t wild or particularly interested in the family drama or the side characters/couples, but they were necessary to make this a fully fleshed story with historical context and to give Yai much needed characterization. Also this use of a ensemble cast is very close to Thailand's lakorn heart, even thought this one had way less scenery chewing ludicrous soapy drama (thank heavens).

I was delighted that external threat, stressors, and conflict drove this plot. That's refreshing in BL.

I have no arguments with the chemistry and kisses and sex scenes were tasteful and lovely, occasionally even heart-wrenching, and it's nice to see Thailand especially use physical intimacy to drive plot, and not the other way around.

I love historicals partly because every tiny touch can have such lingering significance, they're very elegant in their chaste physicality. This show didn't need to move into higher heat, but I'm grateful it did because even that was very well done. Thai BLs can often feel clumsy around intimacy, but not this one.

The final sex scene before Jom and Yai separate forever utilizes the ubiquitous director's-favorite-romantic-moments-flashbacks (required of all Asian romance dramas) but with acceleration and tension driven by the noises of sex, which I've never seen/heard done before. In other words: climax of sex = climax of the romance story, I see what you did there, Tee. Clever. Very clever. Bit on the nose… erm… on the… well you know what I mean.

Like all Thai BLs this wasn’t perfect, but for me this is as close as Thai BL gets to high quality romance and that’s what I want the most from my drama watching experience (if not necessarily my Thai BL experience).

But... and you knew the but was coming didn't you?

I absolutely hated the ending.

It wasn't sad, don't worry, but it also wasn't good.

There is a long drawn out separations sequence and then Jom returns to the present, drowning from a car accident. Jom is "rescued" by an moustachioed iteration of Yai from the distant past (who we met once before) and then wakes in hospital. Some time later, Jom returns to the house in Chang Mai where Yai turns up and they reunite.

The end.

There is a stinger featuring Jom once more hurled back in time, only further, meeting the warrior mustache Yai once more.

Okay, that's all I knew and all I saw.

Confused? So was I.

If this had been a regular time travel romance: Yai would have been the EMT or doctor attending Jom when he woke up and their "this time period" romance would commence. With either shared memories, or not.

Had this been set up for audience comprehension in line with the original novel, we should have had flashbacks from both Present Yai (he's not the same one, as it turns out) and deep-past Moustache Yai interwoven throughout the series. Preferably with some focus on Present Yai's quest for reunion with Present Jom AND Present Yai's own experience with visions and memory of his past lives.

A full explanation of the ending is here. This explanation of the 3 different Yais makes me like our ending more. But I shouldn't need to read Cliff's notes from some random y-novel reading fan on Tumblr to understand what's going on in a series!

There is supposedly a special happening with Jom + Present Yai.

There was unquestionably a failure in adaptation in the finale of this show.

As a fan and watcher, what I actually felt was deeply confused and hurt.

I also felt that this was a disingenuous un-earned throw away happy ending, since I had no idea who this new Present Yai was and no investment in his character. I simply didn't believe he was the same Yai (Bright is too good an actor, he was clearly a different older personality).

So the fact remains that past Yai, our Yai, the 20 year old boy we grew to understand and love, is abandoned in the past to suffer alone for the rest of his life. And THAT is an unhappy ending for one half of my beloved pair. Yes Jom gets a new Yai in the present day, but it's not the same Yai. They have no developed relationship, and Jom is doomed to leave even this new Yai and slide into the past once more. That's barely even happy for now for Jom's character.

As a result of my deep sadness for 20-year-old Yai in particular, I'm not going to be able to rewatch this show. The whole thing was rendered not just confusing but the opposite of comforting by the final 15 minutes. I'm tempted to dock it two whole points - one for the ending and the other for the lack of rewatch potential.

But the first 11.5 eps were SO GOOD.

This is one of the only times where I am actually hoping for a second season, while simultaneously being wary of the screen writing and production team's capacity to give us a satisfying one.

Industry wise? I honestly don't think we can hope too hard for a full season 2. This was an expensive show with flawed/limited distribution and little sponsorship. I don't see how they'll get funding for a second season. Unless we see this show up on like Netflix or Viki, I urge you not to hope too hard and be disappointed.

In all honestly?

I started typing up this blog post thinking Thailand was finally, after 5 years, going to earn another 10/10 from me but I just can't in good conscious give it that. It's been days and I'm still upset about that last episode.

And Now My Quick Pitch Review

I truly loved this time travel romance. IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but no as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy BL... from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. Pity about the ending. Oh it wasn’t that sad but it wasn’t good either. This show should easily have earned a 10 from me except that it fumbled the… erm… balls. Argh. Whatever. 9/10

(source)

This post is also in My Drama List as a review.

[musings-of-a-rose]

Falling Slowly - Chapter 10

Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 3900+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: I'm sorry this took so long to post! Originally this was supposed to be it, but this chapter took a lot more to write than I anticipated, so you'll have one more chapter after this one!

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Divider made by @benkeibear 

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Falling Slowly Masterlist

Tommy Miller Masterlist

Tommy was right about Joel. Not only did he refuse to come, he got into an argument with Tommy, calling him all sorts of names before storming out. Rose and Sarah both think he's just scared of losing Tommy, and they're probably right. My pants would be engulfed in flames if I said I wasn't scared shitless.

But the alternative is staying here and, as much as I love this cabin and our family, we can't stay here with this raider situation. I cannot lose my husband.

Tommy ends up having to do one more raider mission, but he knows that I'm packing up our things, quietly. Jax is mostly upset about leaving Sarah, but he understands why we have to leave. He may only be 13, but he's fairly observant. He's seen the weight on his father's shoulders and knows that it can't stay that way.

I get everything gathered up, provisions, any personal items that we'd need, like our packs. I fill up canteens and water canisters they had lifted from an old Walmart a couple years back. When Tommy and Joel return, Tommy actually has a little pep in his step. He pulls me in for a hug, whispering in my ear.

"I have a Firefly meetup location."

That had been the reason Tommy had gone out once more, to scout more information about the Fireflies. I don't know how he did it, but he did, the scowl on Joel's face all the confirmation I need to know it's legit.

We all take full showers, not knowing when we'll have this luxury again, Tommy and I lingering a little longer than was necessary in ours. After a full night's rest, or as much rest as we can get, when the sun has barely risen, we're putting the last of our things in the back of the SUV. Rose and Sarah had come down and made breakfast while we finished packing and loading. Joel had come down but said nothing, eating silently as we all joked and ate, trying to push away the real idea that we may never see each other again.

Rose and Sarah walk Jax and I to the SUV out front, idle chatter trying to cover up how scared we were. Tommy and Joel are still inside and we figured we would give them their space.

"If he changes his mind, just find the Fireflies. They'll know where we are," I reassure Rose as she leans over to hug me. "Even if we end up leaving them, we'll leave word with where we go."

Rose nods against me. "Did you get the extra med kit I stashed in your bag?"

I chuckle. "Yeah. Thanks, mom."

She pulls back and cups my face. "Please be careful."

"You too."

She hugs me briefly again before stepping back. "Who knows, maybe Joel will change his mind."

Sarah blows a raspberry with her tongue. "Yeah, that'll happen."

I pull Sarah to me, still in shock that she's somehow 24 and not 12. A whole entire ass adult. She hugs me tight, like if she squeezes just a bit harder that I won't go.

"You watch out for your dad, Sarah. Don't let him get in his head. You know how he is."

She nods and pulls back, wiping tears from her face. "Pulling his head out of his ass should be fun."

Fuck I'm gonna miss this kid.

The front door opens and Tommy and Joel walk out, Tommy chatting away to a stoic faced Joel.

"...can change your mind, you know. We can pack everything up and be gone in a couple hours?" Tommy ends with a hopeful note, but his face quickly falls as Joel shakes his head.

"I already think you're fucking stupid for leaving this place."

"Fair enough. Well, you know how to find us." Tommy tosses his pack in the backseat and turns to give Joel a hug, their embrace lasting a little longer than it normally would have. Tommy moves on to Rose and Sarah, Joel stepping back to give them their space.

I walk up to him and squeeze his hand, his brown eyes, so like his brothers but so very different, finding mine. "Please think about it, Joel. Even without the Raiders, you know it's only a matter of time before the kids would want to leave and make their own lives."

He nods. "I can't promise we'll leave, but I promise to think on it."

"I'll take it."

Joel pulls me in for a hug, which always still surprises me a little, as I'd thought for the longest time that he hated me, only to find out he was pissed at Tommy for not asking me out for forever.

"Uncle Joel?" Jax cuts into our embrace and Joel whispers something in his ear, which must have been some joke between them because Jax starts laughing and Joel even cracked a small smile.

"We gotta get going, Daisy." Tommy touches my arm and I look at him, nodding before looking back at everyone, exchanging our last goodbyes and I love you's.

Driving away from our little corner of this new world into an uncertain one was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

"Welcome to the Fireflies," A woman named Marlene, who appears to be the big leader, welcomes us into their makeshift camp.

"Thanks for having us," Tommy shakes her hand and she nods.

"Anyone willing and able to join the fight. And from what I hear, you're an excellent shot. Military background?"

"Desert Storm."

Marlene nods. "We could definitely use that. Everyone pulls their weight around here. What can you two offer?" Marlene looks pointedly at me and Jax and it's then I realize that she wouldn't give two flying fucks about us if it it were between the mission and us. Something to keep an eye on.

"I'm really skilled with gardening."

"I swear this woman could grow an apple tree from a broken stick," Tommy chuckles.

"That's great but we don't really have much need for a gardener."

"Oh. Well I'm pretty good with medicine. My...sister in law was a doctor. I helped her a lot."

"Medicine? That we can definitely use. What about you?" She turns to Jax, who's eyes widen at being addressed directly, which make sense since he's only talked to us since he was 3.

"I uh, I'm good with ani-"

"He was learning medicine. Alongside me. He makes a good assistant."

Marlene looks between me and Jax for a moment before nodding. "Alright. Both of you report to the med room in the morning. You all have the rest of the night to settle in. Your room is at the end of the hall, the door with the Barbie sticker on it. I'll see you in the morning, Tommy." Marlene walks off, another Firefly immediately approaching her and speaking in a low voice.

"Well. Let's go see where our for now home is."

Tommy picks up his pack and a bag, all of us copying his movements, and heads down the dingy hallway. I'm sure this building was gorgeous, back in it's day. But the years since the outbreak haven't been kind, water had leaked through the roof, the wallpaper peeling back in places, piles of rubbish strewn about or pushed aside to make a path. We reach the door with the Barbie sticker and Tommy pushes inside, the room not much cleaner than the hallway. There were two beds in this once hotel room, but I'm not certain I want to sleep on them.

"I miss home," Jax says under his breath.

"Yeah, bud. Me too. But this is an adventure! And temporary. We can deal with this."

I appreciate his optimism, but I am also doubtful about the conditions of our living situation changing while with the roaming Firelfies.

Life with the Fireflies was constantly busy. It seemed like they were trying to fight multiple battles, people often going on missions away for weeks at a time, our camp always on the move and not just in one area but across the country. Tommy was often away, either helping Marlene strategize or actually putting his own boots on the ground. I hated when he had to do that. He'd get this look in his eyes, much like when he has PTSD dreams about his time in the Army.

After a time, Jax asked me why I had lied to Marlene about him helping with medical things as opposed to his gift with animals. I told him I wanted him close, which was the truth. It wasn't that I thought he wasn't capable, but I wanted him near me in case something happened. I didn't trust them. Not entirely.

About 2 years in, we were stationed outside of the Denver QZ, which was still controlled by FEDRA. It took them a few months of scouting and gathering intel before Marlene finally approached Tommy and another member, Eugene, about infiltrating the QZ, attacking them from the inside.

"I'm sorry, she wants you to be, what, a terrorist cell or something?" I couldn't believe what Tommy was telling me. I knew he had to be doing some things he didn't like, his PTSD was really bad these days, but this?

He nods. "Yeah, something like that. Except we aren't terrorists, Daisy."

I count on my fingers. "Infiltrating a city, gathering more intel, setting off bombs or some shit, and probably fucking.. I don't know, torturing people or whatever terrorists do? That's not terrorism?"

He shakes his head. "It's not like that, Daisy. FEDRA is a military dictatorship. Those civilians in there are struggling and dying under their bullshit terms."

I scoff. "So you're going to free them from their oppressors by bombing them?"

He pauses. "I don't make the call."

"No. You just follow orders." The anger and hurt in Tommy's eyes cut into me and I sigh. "I'm sorry, Tommy. I am. I'm just...I'm scared."

The anger softens and he takes my hand. "I know. I am too. But those people need our help."

6 months. Tommy had been gone in his "not terrorist cell" for 6 months. Marlene just avoided me now, not even bothering to see me when I demanded an update. She kept telling me she'd tell me when she knew something, but how do I trust her? She sends her people in like pawns, their deaths for the cause are justified in her eyes.

I remember the day he left. A soft kiss to my lips in my early morning daze, the press of his hips against mine, my moans catching in my throat as we have to be nearly silent.

I adjust his jacket by the front door, smoothing it down before running my fingers over his hair, which he'd let get a little longer these days, the curls sometimes tumbling over his forehead.

"I promise I'll come back, sweetheart."

"You better. Or I'm coming in the afterlife and dragging your ass back out."

He laughs, a sound I had become unfamiliar with, and it brings tears to my eyes. He cups my cheek, his thumb brushing away the tears. "I don't doubt that for a second."

"Please be safe. And don't be stupid."

He pulls me to him, my face nuzzling into his chest as I inhale his scent, trying desperately to etch it into my memory.

"I love you, Daisy. Keep Jax close."

"I will. I love you."

One last kiss, a swipe of his tongue in my mouth and he's gone, a small smile and freckles the last image of him before the door closed. He'd told me a few weeks, maybe a month tops. Or 2.

But it had been 6. Half a year.

Jax turned 16 shortly after Tommy had left and I could hear them trying to recruit him to be boots on the ground. Not that age really matters to them. I've seen them parade kids through here, no more than 11, putting a weapon in their hands and telling them they have a chance to fight for freedom. But Jax will have none of it. He took my warning when we first joined and poured himself into his role as a medical assistant, helping the other healers but always staying near me. I knew his heart wasn't in it, not like it was with animals. But that calming nature the animals loved allowed him to calm anyone who came in, whether they were dying or not.

It was late. I sent Jax to our room, letting him crash a bit earlier than normal because he just looked so weary. I start to tidy things up a bit, never really having the time to during the day. When I put the last tray up, I hear shuffling and mumbled voices in the hall. I listen, not to eavesdrop but to hear if they were coming my way. They were, and in a bit of a hurry. The door is kicked open and 2 men enter, carrying a 3rd man in between them.

Tommy.

Relief and terror washed over me as I take him in, the 2 men laying him on the makeshift examination table. I swallow down everything to focus on the healing part. There would be time for more later.

"Daisy, can you handle this?" Marlene asks from somewhere in the dingy room.

I nod, a tray already in my hand. I bark orders at one of the men and he scurries about, trying to gather up the things I need. Tommy lays on the table, nearly unconscious, the other man, Eugene, has his hand pressed tight against Tommy's side.

"What h-happened?" I manage to choke out.

Eugene looks at Marlene for permission and I see red.

"If my husband dies on this table because it's some classified-"

"Shrapnel. We didn't see the grenade. Tommy saw it last minute and pushed me out of the way. He cleared the blast but it sent shit flying."

Fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK. Not the time to panic.

"Marlene, go wake Tenari. I'll need another pair of hands."

"What about Jax?"

"He doesn't need to see this."

She nods and heads out the door, setting a brisk pace.

I pour some alcohol over my hands and wipe them together, disinfecting them as best as I can. "Ok, Eugene. I need you to move your hands so I can see."

"Yes ma'am. I just didn't want it to jiggle."

I swallow hard and can't help the gasp that leaves my lips when Eugene's hands are clear of Tommy's body. A sharp piece of metal sticks out from the side of his abdomen at a strange angle, his shirt ripped and soaked in blood. The other man comes back with the supplies just as Tenari comes in. She glances at Tommy and immediately moves to our makeshift medicine cabinet.

Fuck. I wish Rose was here. This is very out of my league. But she did tell me a bit about foreign objects in the body. It's not just the shrapnel I'm worried about. It's how dirty the metal was.

"His blood is red so it missed his liver," I note as Tenari sets down some herbs and medicines next to the bandages and rags that the other man had brought.

"That's something at least. You want me to stitch? You know I have a steady hand."

I nod. "Yeah. That might be best. I'll get by his head."

Eugene stands next to me, grabbing Tommy's arm. The other man moves by his feet. Marlene comes back in with someone else, each of them taking another leg and arm. I lean over his face, his eyes still closed, placing my hands on his cheeks.

"He's going to wake up when I pour this on him and take it out. You gotta hold him still. Everyone ready?" A quick glance and everyone nods.

Tenari wastes no time. In one quick move, she picks up the alcohol bottle and dumps it on the wound. Tommy immediately wakes, shrieking and yelling, his body pushing against everyone holding him down as the alcohol burns him.

"Hey baby. Ssshhh it's me. It's Daisy."

His eyes flash up to mine, tears leaking from them. "Make it stop, Daisy," His voice is small and raspy, choking back pain.

"I know, baby. I know. But the alcohol is doing its job. But, hey look at me," Tommy's eyes had started to wander, noticing Tenari grabbing something from the little side table.

"Tell me."

"You took shrapnel. It doesn't appear to have hit your liver, which is good. But we have to take it out and stitch you up. You gotta stay still, which we will help you with."

"This is gonna fuckin' suck, isn't it?"

I smile a little down at him, brushing some curls from his forehead. "Yeah, baby. It's going to really suck. But I'll be right here, ok? Feel my hands on you? I'm right here."

He's scared, but he'd never admit it. A moment's pause before he nods. "Just do it."

Tenari looks around at us and we nod, everyone bracing. My eyes don't leave his, not when she pulls out the shrapnel, not when the scream erupts from my husband's throat, not when he involuntarily pushes against everyone, his body trying to escape the pain. I call his name and he looks at me, pain in his eyes and I smile gently at him. I start to sing, one of his favorites and he focuses his attention on me, grunting out when Tenari starts to sew his skin back together. By the time she's done, he's stopped fighting it, his eyes solely fixed on me. Tenari places a hand on my arm, letting me know she's finished. Everyone lets him go and I end the song, Tommy still looking at me, a faraway look on his face as his eyes start to close from the stress of it all.

"You got it from here?" Tenari asks.

I nod. "I got it. Thank you."

She squeezes my arm before gathering up all the things that need to be washed, Eugene and the other man helping her. As they leave, I hear Marlene tell Eugene he needs to find his wife. Something about her not being happy.

I sit on the stool next to Tommy's makeshift bed, a clean rag and a bowl with soapy water in my hand. I start to clean him, making sure all of the blood is wiped away so we can keep a good eye on his stitches. I make a poultice from our medical stash, placing it over his stitches so it can hopefully keep away any infection. We managed to get some antibiotics in him, but who knows if those still work after all this time?

When I'm all cleaned up, I sit back down in the chair next to his bed, taking his hand in mine. I lace my fingers with his, using my other hand to push his hand back from his face.

And then I lose it.

Tears pour from my eyes like I've never cried before. My body shakes, my stomach in knots. My heart feels simultaneously like it's being ripped from my chest but also relieved that he's finally back with us. I calm down enough to kiss his cheek, speaking directly into his ear.

"You are not allowed to die on me, Tommy Miller.....please don't die on me."

Tommy sleeps for nearly 3 days straight, only waking once to take a sip of water before slipping back into sleep. Tenari says that's a good thing, that his body is trying to heal.

He was a little warm that first day, but by the second he was cooling down. By the end of the third day, any trace of a fever was gone. The strong smelling poultice was doing its work.

"Daisy?"

He croaks out my name and my head snaps up from where I had been dosing off next to him.

"Tommy! Hey baby, how do you feel?" I feel him squeeze my hand. Even though it's weaker than normal, I still think that's a good sign.

"Like I had a piece of metal ripped from my stomach."

I chuckle, unable to stop the tears that started flowing the second I heard his voice. He reaches up and wipes away a tear from my cheek.

"Hey none of that. You really think a dinky piece of metal is gonna take me away from my family?"

I sob, nodding. "Either that or infection."

"Come here."

He pulls me to him as best he can, holding me while I sob into his chest, speaking gentle phrases into my ear to calm me.

"I'm not going anywhere, Daisy. Well, I'm not dying anyway."

I sit upright, looking him straight in the eyes. "Don't tell me you're going on another mission?"

He shakes his head. "No, baby. I think...I think we need to leave."

Relief surges through me. "Are you serious?"

He nods. "When I was in the QZ, I managed to get a job working the radio. Lied. Told them I'd had experience. Anyway, I was listening in one night and I heard some people, not in the QZ, talking about some settlement up north. Somewhere in Wyoming."

"Wyoming is fairly large, Tommy."

"Yeah, I know. Supposedly it's somewhere in Teton County."

"Another QZ?"

"No, nothing like that." He grunts, but declines my offer of more pain meds. "It's like a proper settlement or somethin'. They didn't hear much after a few radio sessions, but they did say they were working on the radio."

"So it could be overrun? Or non existent?"

Tommy shrugs. "I think it's worth a shot."

"And...and what if it's not real? Or overrun?"

He takes a deep breath and winces. "Then we find some remote cabin up there and figure it out."

Being with the Fireflies isn't really safe. We've had more close encounters with clickers being with the Fireflies than we ever have. The QZ's didn't look like great places to live either. I guess we have as decent a chance as any trying to find this place. We still have our truck so at least it won't be entirely on foot.

"Get Jax. We should ask him," Tommy gestures towards the door to the stairs that leads to our little room.

"He's only 17."

"Yeah. A man."

"17, Tommy."

"This world is different. He's smart. Just...let's hear his opinion."

Jax immediately agrees to leave, tired of this hectic life, tired of the Fireflies trying to take the medicine from his hands and replace it with a weapon.

And so, a month or so later at the start of fall, once Tommy has mostly healed, we pack up and leave the Fireflies, telling Marlene where we were heading just in case Joel or Rose or Sarah reach out. I can tell Marlene isn't happy about Tommy leaving, but she did say we were always free to go.

This time, I don't look back.

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @booksarekindaneat @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @justreblogginfics @kmc1989 @veryprairieberry @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @heartpascalispunk  

[suzukiblu]

WIP WEDNESDAY GAME

Taken from @kedreeva.

It’s WIP Wednesday, time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants.

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can’t share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

file names:

Cassie makes a claybaby

we are so pleased with this Match

Amazon Kon

Krypton lives and Kara did not sign up for this

the one where Kon's soulmark is fake

snippet from “Cassie makes a claybaby”:

“This is a disaster,” Cassie says, making a face at the mess of wet, sloppy clay on the table in front of her. 

“You added too much water,” Kon tells her, not looking up from his own much less messy lump. “You need more clay.” 

“How do you even know that?” Cassie asks, eyeing him suspiciously. Them all taking this stupid ceramics class together was Bart’s idea–he’s currently at the table in front of them, busy excitedly arguing with Cissie about why they should make matching bookends–and the teacher was extremely fucking unclear on how much water was “too much”. 

“Mae and Linda used to sculpt,” Kon says with a shrug, using one of the weird wire-topped tools the teacher left out for them to literally peel a few chunks out of his clay. Cassie has never been so baffled by a method of making art. “They showed me a couple of tricks back in the day.” 

“Who?” Cassie asks in bewilderment. Kon’s mouth tightens for a moment in a familiar “someone you apparently forgot” kind of way, and then he just shrugs and peels some more of his clay off. 

“Never mind,” he says. Cassie feels–unsettled, briefly, like she does every time this happens. Every time Kon mentions someone who apparently existed before and doesn’t exist now, or at least not in any way that any of them have noticed or recognized. Things that unhappened are bad enough, but people . . . 

It makes her think of him, cut off from all of them, and wonder how many other people that might’ve happened to. Was Kon the only one? Are “Mae” and “Linda” out there somewhere too, lost and missing them? 

Should she be missing them? 

“I don’t think we’re artistic enough for this,” Tim says from the table behind them. He and Greta seem to have pooled their clay into one weird blocky, amorphous monstrosity. Cassie isn’t gonna ask, mostly because he’d started muttering about Clayface when the whole idea for this class had come up to begin with. Anita comes over with a fresh block of clay and smacks it on top of the other two’s. It looks like the Minecraft idea of a snowman. 

Cassie suspects that perhaps they’re not all taking this class as seriously as they could be and that the only reason the teacher hasn’t thrown them out is because she’s currently distracted with, like, twelve other people. Still, it’s only one day, and they just signed up for it as a fun little hangout thing to go do together, so whatever, it’s not like it matters. 

“What are you making, Kon?” Greta asks curiously. “It looks nice.” 

“Angel,” Kon replies matter-of-factly without looking up from his clay-fiddling, and doesn’t elaborate past that despite the fact Cassie cannot imagine a less religious friend she has, including the declared atheists. Kon’s sculpting does look nice, though, especially compared to everyone else’s. Bart’s clay is all squished into Escher-esque nightmares and Cissie hasn’t even touched her block, and again, Tim and Greta and Anita appear to have just made a Minecraft snowman. But given how seriously Kon seems to be taking this (given that Cassie’s never heard of a “Mae” or a “Linda” in her LIFE), Cassie figures she should at least try, and goes to get some more clay to add to her mess.

She doesn’t even know what she’s gonna make, honestly. 

Fuck it, maybe she’ll pull a Hippolyta and just make herself a kid. That’d be kind of funny. And also be better than just biting Kon’s idea, probably. Like, show more engagement or whatever.

[yan-randomfandom]

Hello! Call me Yan (any prns), and I'm honestly here to satisfy my cravings as a writer 😔

♪ REQUEST STATUS: OPEN—Although please understand if I was unable to answer yours, it might be for plenty of reasons.

WHAT DO I WRITE?

x reader, my beloved i dont use y/n tho

Yandere. There are times I won't write yandere, but it's my blog's main trait.

Please read at your own risk. There will be warnings at the start of the chap!

Headcanons, one shots, and drabbles

Mostly SFW — Sexual themes are mild at most. I do not write smut.

My account is multifandom. I am in multiple fandoms, so expect my content to be different every once in a while!

☕support me on kofi!

MASTERLIST... LIST

PART I: Masterlist

Keep reading if u wanna request!

SO, YOU'RE AN ANON

You can name yourself as an anon! It's a nickname of sorts

Feel free to use a name even if it's taken! This is because I hop around fandoms, so anons may come and go, plus it's definitely an easier way to find your request (in tags) 😺

Think of your same-name-anons as like,, wow, u have the same name as me! siblings frfr??

FANDOMS?

I lurk in many fandoms. Not about to list them all, though 😭 Mostly I write about my current obsession! Almost always it's my blog theme :O

Please don't hesitate to ask from wherever fandom you are! There's no harm in trying! :) Except BNHA. Preferably, no anime.

Better yet, feel free to list down your fandoms in the comments! Anything that you would want to see yandere content in! Just so I can browse and maybe write for!!

LIMITS?

No problematic shipping requests.

Unfortunately, I don't do OCs (':

If the character is 18-, they can be aged up if you'd like, but strictly no NSFW, or in certain circumstances, romance. They're gonna be platonic.

I don't do intense gore. While I do have yandere content, I'm on the sorta wholesome side? Define 'wholesome' ... Implied scenarios are more likely😩

I write non-yandere stories too tho!

Minors, please stay safe. Don't go meddling around with adult spaces!

Sadly, I'm lacking in knowledge of other popular media, so if you happen to request one of those, I might not reply. Instead, I'll be keeping your ask until one day I check that media out.

Part 2s are my weakness. I'm sorry. Doesn't mean you should try asking me tho!

Doesn't matter if the character is well known or not! Cuz I WILL attempt to learn about your request!

Except real life people. I can do actors with their characters, but never peeps' government names.

WHY IS MY REQUEST TAKING SO LONG?

...college

If it's something I've never posted about yet, then it's either I'm not in the fandom, or I'm just clueless.

But other than that... sometimes I take days— weeks— months? to truly click with an idea.

I want to enjoy whatever I'm writing, so I take a break until an idea comes up.

And there's also the fact that I'm working on multiple things at once 😭😭 I tend to focus on easier ones first!!

Also I usually think of ideas at night c:

Worst case scenario: I truly have zero idea for your request, I'm so sorry 😔

NOTES ABOUT ME!

Yandere is my guilty pleasure, I fear🤕

HOWEVER, I do not, and won't ever, condone the behavior I will portray in my writing. Please don't misunderstand, don't romanticize. They are purely fiction and for entertainment.

I regularly change my theme (profile, colors, banner, etc.) just so you know.

This account is for everyone,, we're all just trying to find content of our favorite character fr— so please don't hesitate to request :)

As I close my eyes to sleep, that's when I start imagining scenarios for my writing!

erm skibid toilet

[amerricanartwork]

Quetzalli's Local Group Designs - Shape Language

Since I've developed my off-the-string AU to the point I feel I can start sharing it here, I figured to make that easier I should start working on solidifying my designs for RW's main Local Group. The way I draw them has already gone through lots of change throughout my time in this fandom, but I hope I can be more consistent from now on. And seeing as it seems almost like a rite of passage to draw one's own interpretation of the slugcats/iterators here, now that I've been in this fandom close to a year, I feel like it's about time I take on the challenge too!

I plan to make a series of posts sharing the concept art I make as I design them, so for this post I decided to start with an element I've wanted to tackle for a while: shape language!

Oh, and before I forget, since these designs are technically still WIPs and subject to change, I'd love to hear any feedback on what I've got so far!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Ever since I really got into expanding on and developing these characters' personalities and backstories until I had a clear overall picture of who they were, I've been thinking of the way I could use shape language to visually convey those traits, and even show some narrative significance in their journeys. To start, I focused on the main four iterators we see and hear from in-game here, since I was clearest about the looks I wanted for them and I have the most reference for what they look like.

Head Shapes

I started first with their heads, in which I wanted there to be a clear sense of structure similar to a human head, yet still keep that simple, cartoon-y cuteness I enjoy about the in-game iterator visuals. I left in the construction lines as reference for the structure, kept the eyes all blank, and made some notes — largely on the rhythm of the lines, because I love giving things pleasant shapes. You can also see the four shapes I settled on for these iterators below.

Along with refs for the the Local Group, I made this basic iterator head reference for further notes on the head structure. I basically tried to make a cartoon-y Loomis head with most of the facial features removed.

Body and Clothing Shapes

For me, this was the really fun part. I had really clear ideas for how to express their character traits visually that had been floating in my head for weeks, and couldn't wait to show it throughout their figures, and even their poses!

Using the same corresponding shapes, I made a simple, relatively rough silhouette reference sheet that doubles as a height chart, at least until I make a more official one. I also made a version without their robes:

And one with the two layers having a clearer overlap:

Personally, I really like this last one, because I think it really shows the difference between their robes and their actual bodies. Something I really enjoy in character design is when artists use contrast between a character's clothing and true physical body to juxtapose how they present themselves or how other people see them with who they really are or how they truly feel about themselves — and thus allude to what they might be concealing from the rest of their peers or even themselves.

I ended up giving all of the Local Group, including Chasing Wind and Unparalleled Innocence, some kind of important contrast between their public personas and their true selves, so getting to finally draw my ideas for displaying it visually was so satisfying! As to what those contrasting ideas are exactly, I will explain those later...

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

That's gonna be it for this first entry!

If I'm being honest, I originally I wasn't as keen on making my own designs for the characters, seeing as I like to try and keep my fan-content relatively similar to the original work, at least in overall features and core themes and whatnot. However, with this AU I've really started to enjoy adding to this world and characters via headcanons, yet always with the challenge of trying to be mostly consistent with the canon and more so explain things that are left vague rather than totally changing what's established.

When it comes to designs, I think I've finally reached a point where I feel confident in my ability to create depictions that are distinct from other artists' drawings of the Local Group and that at least somewhat capture that old cartoon feel, yet still remain visually similar to their in-game looks. And as someone who already enjoys character design, this whole challenge seems like a good way for me to start practicing the deeper elements without being in total darkness from having to create brand new characters.

If you made it all the way to the end of this, thank you so much! I'm so excited to start sharing my ideas for these characters, and I'm eager to share the other ideas I have and see what I come up with next!

[confoundedluna]

got that until dawn ps3 version quote list for y'all Finally

it is Just as stupid and ridiculous as the final version and it deserves appreciation too - this post might be longer than the other actually since this version has more chapters, we shall see, and the characters seem to talk to themselves a lot, plus I want to call out More of the dialogue since it's lesser known overall compared to the final game

again, please note these aren't in any particular order, I think they're Mostly chronological per character, I just type them as they come up in the videos and the videos are a bit odd in the way the chapters play out (one video is like. chapters 1, 4 and 5, another is 1, 6 and 7, it's just too awkward to be flipping between videos to watch everything in full order), since a lot are incomplete or need multiple builds to showcase everything they can, but I put together a playlist that was Mostly the order the chapters should be in, including different versions of each chapter in case anything changed across the different builds that I might want to take note of

also please note that some of these i typed based off how the subtitles are written and some off of how the lines are delivered - some of them switch the word order or use like a shortened version of a word or whatever, some lines have dialogue that isn't properly subtitled or has an automated voice reading them rather than an actual actor's delivery, I'm sorry if it's inconsistent but that's just how it's gonna be, i might not notice which version of the quote I used but it's basically the same thing so deal with it lmao

and like last time, let me know if i missed or skipped anything you think should be on this list! I tried to be a bit conservative with how many lines I used and go for just the funniest stand out ones or the ones that carried over, either fully or partially, to the finished game

okay enough disclaimers and apologies and shit, on to the quotes!

CHRIS

(SAM: I thought you were dead!) Well that's a fine thing to say to someone.

Wow. Safety. My mind is blown.

A-ha! And here we have the mysterious graphite spray.

It is believed that seances derive their mystical power by channeling the kinetic energy created by nude bodies... gathered as offerings to the occult, particularly those of young, teenage women. Ghosts are typically not concerned with the nude bodies of pasty young men, so if there are any ladies present, would you please remove your shirts and pants-

I'm beginning to think our friendly ghost is dyslexic.

This isn't a video game, Ash! Not everything's a clue!

There's a place in France where the ladies don't wear pants... (ASHLEY: Oh my god, how old are you?)

(ASHLEY: Look at this! Isaiah 11:6!) Is that a baseball thing? Like the signs at games? (ASHLEY: Uh, no, Chris, it's a Bible thing. You know, like a verse?) Oh, that's what those are. We should read it, right? The baseball Bible thing?

(ASHLEY: Look at this lectern, there's all sorts of animals on it.) It's like Noah's ark. Or that channel with all the animals on it.

(ASHLEY: Yep, it's all here. Fire and brimstone.) Blah blah blah, obey all my commands, blah blah blah, kill all your sons and daughters! (ASHLEY: What Bible did you read?) The cool one, duh!

Hey, I got it! See how this rotates? We could line up the animals like it says in the verse! (ASHLEY: Maybe all those hours in Sunday school paid off.) Absolutely. Not.

This just got totally Indiana Jones on us...

I know the human body has a surprising amount of blood in it, but damn.

Someone's been hunting. Guess they don't need a freezer out here.

Alright, handles all around I guess...

Holy shitballs.

I gotta say, this is not the most sensible thing I've ever done in my life.

Maybe we can find the book that the page belongs to. And find the jerk who ripped it out.

(ASHLEY: What is this, chemistry class?) I don't know about you, Ash, but I always like to leave my dangerous chemicals in a food preparation area.

Phew! See, look at that, nothing out there but the wind. (STRANGER: Sometimes the wind is not to be trusted.) Yeah well you would say that wouldn't you...

Do we just seem like slabs of meat to them? Like in old cartoons when one guy would be starving and the other guy would suddenly turn into a T-Bone steak? (STRANGER: Your thoughts wander uncomfortably far for someone walking through the dark in the W's territory…) Well that's precisely why I'd rather think about cartoons...

Brrr it's so cold out here... I guess it's better being cold than dead... though if I get any colder I might wish I was dead...

No more psychos and saw blades and crazy TV rooms and weird skinny monsters and no more snow and no more screaming hunter dudes.

(ASHLEY: How are you holding up, Chris...?) Miraculously. I mean, I'll probably collapse the second I start to think about anything that's been going on. (SAM: Then don't think about it.)

Ash... Even if Jess was down there I don't think it would be a good idea for us to climb into a mysterious hole in the wall...

We just want to get through this. Together, Ash...

ASHLEY

(SAM: Do you think Em is gonna say something about all this?) Knowing Em... she's gonna say plenty...

I tried to join chess club but I wasn't cool enough.

Cannibalism?! Who would buy a book like that? Who would even write a book on cannibalism? (CHRIS: A cannibal...?)

I don't care what it is- why does he keep doing this to us?!

This is our fault... we can't save him, it's our fault!

Not cool. Not cool.

Where does an elevator even go down here?

Bats... I mean, how in the heck are bats down here?

'A week in the mountains' he said, 'we'll get drunk, it'll be fun'...

Ohhh, I hate creepy noises!

They're crazy if they think they're going to find Josh and the stupid key... (SAM: Emily seemed to think she had a pretty good idea of where to look...) Yeah but she's Emily, Sam! When does she ever do anything that isn't some sort of weird selfish game- (SAM: Em seemed pretty shaken up, Ash, she's just trying to help-) She's trying to get us killed. We're all going to die up here. All of us.

(SAM: Just keep going, Ash, just keep going. It's right ahead of us.) It so does not feel like it's right ahead of us.

You've seen Mike with a gun, he seems pretty confident...

Well Sam, there doesn't gotta be another way- I mean we can hope there's another way...

(SAM: Pull it open!) I'm trying! What are you doing?! Don't hurt yourself not helping!

SAM

Ah-yep... limbs are still working.

Bim bam boom! There, fixed it for you.

That was hellacious.

She's usually pretty cool. Seems more like she's nursing a massive crush. (CHRIS: You mean Mike?) Ummm... yeah? Come on, she's sitting out there like a little lost puppy waiting for him.

Is she really being that big of a bitch to him?

(CHRIS: Wicked Witch of the West.) Right? I wish someone would drop a house on her. (CHRIS: That was the Wicked Witch of the East.) Did you seriously just correct me on that?

I can't believe Emily is hooking up with Matt. Didn't really expect her to go full meathead after breaking up with Michael.

Hey, did you get the sense that Jess and Mike are gonna have a uh... 'political summit' on this trip...?

Josh... having a little trouble getting the key into the hole?

(JOSH: I know Sam... I'm sorry... my fingers feel like they're gonna break off...) Do you want me to warm your fingers up so you can get the lock open?

Hello...? Hey guys, is that you? What are you guys doing? Being creepy...?

Hey?! I'm getting a little creeped out here fellas...

Someone help me, I'm stuck in here with a maniac!

I guess Josh needs kind of like a 'time-out' after what he did to us, but...

Okay. That does it. Door is locked. Nothing in or out.

Are you crazy? Or just stupid? You go out there and you're dead. In here we can at least wait- (MIKE: Until what? Come on, Sam.) Until dawn.

(EMILY: How did you find us?) You were making a total ruckus. Emily, I'm not sure you got the memo about the stealth mission.

Perfect. A giant hole.

(EMILY: Be careful...) As opposed to...?

(EMILY: You having a good time up there, Sam?) It's a god damn party.

Don't scream- don't scream- don't scream- (EMILY: I can't help it, I can't-)

Empty. Could have been one of us in there...

Okay Mister Elevator, let's see what we're working with here...

Wow. Now that's more like it. This is baaaaaadass.

Come on already, where is that fricking code?

Come on girl. You'd look good with that in your hands. Don't be shy.

Hey... bout time I found the Big Boy firepower.

I am so done with this place.

Get me outta here. Gotta find the cable car.

Get me out of here. Just get me to the first floor.

I just want to be on the ground, not up here.

Stairs? Ladder? Elevator? Escalator? Just need to get down to the ground floor.

I need out. Find my way to the cable car.

Gotta find the ground floor.

You guys look starved. Let me just fire up the grill.

MIKE

All ye who enter must pay the toll! Take off your pants!

(CHRIS: Maybe I can get a signal long enough to download a manual for one of these things.) ...Nerd alert, amirite?

(CHRIS: Nature calls.) Did you give her my number?

You throw like a- (JESS: Don't say it!) Was just gonna say you throw like a- (JESS: Don't!) ...throw like a beautiful, enchanting woman!

Awww! That's one to show the grandkids, right? (JESS: Don't get ahead of yourself, mister.) I wouldn't dream of it.

You wanna hear a joke? (JESS: Sure! I love to laugh.) Okay. So, how many librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? (JESS: Dunno, how m-) Shhh!!! (JESS: Really? Ugh.)

(JESS: Goddamn batteries! Shake it, that usually helps! Awesome!) Shake-powered batteries? Who knew.

I wonder what's down there. Ah, I bet it's just a bunch of pickaxes and old cart tracks and miner bones and ghosts of miners, and miner curses and... Woah. Get a grip dude. Class President.

Look at that. (JESS: What're all those symbols?) I think they're ancient. (JESS: Ancient what?) Ancient symbols. (JESS: Such insight...)

I'm not super thrilled at the idea of bears hanging around and crashing our party.

Looks like the path is a little blocked up. (JESS: What do you mean?) Well, it's got all this... tree in the way.

Where'd you go? Jessica? You've got at least five good minutes left until I bring out the waterworks.

This looks like the work of a bear. I do not like the way bears work.

Jess, hon? I promise I totally won't murder you when I find you. Maybe just a little.

So cold out here, but I'm sweating! Is that normal?

(JESS: You're trying to just freak me out, aren't you?) What? Why? (JESS: To get in my pants.) Yes, I would like to scare the pants off you.

So... One time I jumped over a crazy deep ravine on my bike. All the kids from the neighbourhood came out. Some local news too. Everyone thought I wasn't going to make it. (JESS: But you did?) Nope. Totally died. Been dead six years now. (JESS: You're lying.) Am I, though? (JESS: ...yes? ... Right?) There's only one way to find out...!

We're all alone in here, babe. Just you and me... the Presidential suite. (JESS: Well, Mr President, the lights don't work. And I'm freezing!)

Someone really doesn't like things to stay in one piece around here. Why would someone tear this up?

My jaw's chiselled enough already, but still, it could be useful.

Well, I've found the killer bathtub. Jesus, what did I think would be in there?

Woah. Check out the crazy sex book they have up here.

What is this? Ms. Dunkle's tenth grade science project?

Well, we're here now, so we might as well make use of the amenities. (JESS: Like the bed?) Yeah, I'm thinking mostly the bed.

Alright, madame, is there anything else that you require, or shall I retire to my quarters? (JESS: You're not going anywhere.) Madame requires additional services? (JESS: I can think of a few.)

Huh. Turns out our monster is just a broken branch. Guess it must have seen us and gotten jealous.

(JESS: Finally I have your attention.) The Vice President is standing by. (JESS: Well, why don't you bring him into the Oval Office?) Let's sign this bill into law!

Gotta stay calm. Focused. Get out of this rotten pit.

Crap, what are you doing Mikey, what's wrong with you... this asshole killed Jess... he should pay for that... but nobody's gonna pay for anything unless you get out of here in one piece, buddy...

Stay cool, Mikey. Stay cool.

(groans) Unngh… Either I'm getting weaker or doors are getting heavier…

Come on Sir Mike. Don't be such a wimp. Think about Jessica.

He could be waiting for me… it would be wise for me to tread lightly in the lion's den.

Just stay on your guard Potus… Stay alert…

Let's go, Mikey, let's go.

Gravity's my co-pilot on this one.

Aww… god… smells like something died in here, came back to life, ate its own corpse and then threw it all up…

Well well well. Here we are again. Sometimes wandering around in circles ain't so bad.

This is the creepiest rehearsal space I've ever seen.

Alright, keep your head Mr. President. Calm under pressure…

Ah great, another scenic wing of 'le castle de dilapitacion'.

Alright… look at that. Now we're getting somewhere. Don't know where, but somewhere.

Births and deaths, 1905. Some light bedtime reading for when we get through this.

Man, I can't even skip lunch without becoming a hungry monster, how did these guys feel over 23 days. Wait, no, i don't want to think about it.

Hey! Proper old school photo. Ain't that many left that roll with this kind of geddup anymore.

Chris was killed right in front of us, Jack the monster hunter was torn to pieces and now we're just waiting around like sitting ducks? No. We have to get off the mountain. Now.

Boom! For the win.

(EMILY: Ugh. I hate this place.) Admittedly, they have let it go... (EMILY: Yeah, they haven't dusted in years down here...)

Ah, seems like patient number four was suffering from a bout of being too extraordinary.

I'll tell you what. If the patients weren't completely nuts when they checked in, this place would drive them crazy.

(EMILY: Alright, so how are we gonna get out of here?) Scream and cry like girls?

Pe-culiar? That's actually like a for real medical term? Must have been Charlie Cheswick's records.

I wonder how far your gums have to recede before they start measuring them. If I'm reading this right, this guy must have looked like a dollar store Halloween mask. Wouldn't want to meet these chompers in a dark alley. Or terrifying sanitorium.

If wishes were horses beggars would be cowboys. (CHRIS: Woah. You did not just say that.) That guy Jack had some pretty catchy phrases don't you think?

EMILY

(CHRIS: We just saw Jessica, down by the cable car.) Ugh. Any more perfume on that B and you'd think she was a bachelorette party.

My lips are already so chapped. (MATT: I can kiss them and make them better.) In your dreams Loverboy.

Oh my god, are you gonna swallow his face whole? We're all here! How much more of your crap can we take?

Listen you little slut, maybe because I am not on crack I can see what you're doing.

I don't have to spy when clearly you're showing off with your tongue halfway down his throat.

(JESS: You heard what I said.) Why don't you say it again to my face you bitch?

You do whatever you want. If there's a crazy murderer running around then I'm going to get the hell out of here. (MATT: Maybe he's right, Em-) Do you want me to go out there all alone, Matt? Because I will.

We'll take the cable car to go get help, dummy. Come on.

This is totally crazy Matt. This is totally crazy. My head is spinning.

Ugh. It's freezing out here. I did not pack for this.

I wish Chris and Ashley were more helpful. (MATT: Em, you hardly gave them a chance-) You know, I'm just trying to help the situation.

I just can't believe it's happened again! I mean like, is this family cursed? (MATT: Yeah the whole mountain feels cursed.)

Okay, you done good Matt. Took you a while, but you done good.

Look, if you're not gonna call for help, then maybe you should at least get some tunes going for us to listen to while we sit here and freeze to death can you please just get the radio working Matt oh my god oh my god!

Oh my God, stop talking like you're in a movie. Are you pushing the right button? Is there even a signal?

Wow. These clothes are all torn up. And I don't think it's because they were ripped off the sale rack in a shopping spree…

Ugh. Why do these machines always have to be so complicated?!

Ahhh! Jesus… them's the brakes.

Oh come on batteries… stick with me just a little longer…

Ugh… are those… bite marks on the bones? As in like… eating marks?

This is hell. That's all there is to it. Hell. I fell into hell and there are devils wandering around who will poke me with their forks.

Okay, keep quiet, Em. Put a lid on it. Don't want to attract attention...

Juuuust stay quiet... What would Princess Emilia do? I'll tell you what she'd do: she would stay quiet. Shhhh.

Wow. Good thing I checked my claustrophobia at the door. This is gonna be tight. I guess it's either through this little hole or turn around and face Mr Sunshine out there. Hmm. Excellent options!

I gotta try it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right Miss A-student beauty queen and all around hottie?

Bingo! Done. Voila. QED. Hee haw. Locked and loaded. That is how we roll. You go girl. Aaaaannnnd... Cut it. Print it. Saved. Vamos!

Top...! It's the top! Mine top... tip top top of the mine...! No more shaft just... this place! I'm out of the mine! ...Back to the lodge! Back to the fires and warmth and friends! Oh little lodge, I missed you so much... how do I get out of here?

(MIKE: You locking us in?) I'm locking the baddies out. Can't be too careful. (MIKE: Glad you're sure the baddies are out there and not in here.) Feels good to lock a door...

(MIKE: Wow. I guess I totalled the place huh?) Mikey had a tantrum? (MIKE: When I commit to something, I like to do a thorough job.) Hmmmm. Don't remember you making heaven and earth move for me... (MIKE: Hey. Don't say that...) I'm kidding... You did okay... (MIKE: ...that's better...) ...considering the tool you have to work with... (MIKE: Easy! Easy!)

This whole wing just feels like it was for the real head cases. Right? Like the lost causes. (MIKE: Yeah. It's got a really pleasant vibe in here. Let's keep moving.)

Ew. Ew! His gums were receding?! Didn't he floss?! Some people just do not understand the importance of dental hygiene.

One order of W pâté, comin' up!

Wow, Sam, you're really getting all Rambo on us.

(SAM: Look. The machinery. If we can get those metal containers in a row... we can get across.) You're kidding, right? On those rusty... rust buckets out there?

(SAM: You got it! It's working!) That's right, 'cause I'm the mecha-master! (SAM: Now if we get them lined up... We can just hop right across!) Already on it, Rambo. Or should I say... Sam-bo. (SAM: Ah... no... I don't think you should say that.)

An elevator...! Probably broken. Why is everything on this goddamned mountain falling apart!

(SAM: Looks like we've got find a way across.) Score one for Captain Obvious.

(SAM: We've got one shot to get out of here and we can't screw it up.) Right back at ya, lady.

JESSICA

(CHRIS: What's Mike doing?) He's getting all of our stuff to the lodge. Nails. Just had 'em done.

(SAM: We can help you with the stuff.) Oh that's so nice! But... I kinda like it when Mike does it.

Ugh, finally we're out of that stupid wind. I was freezing my buns off out there. (MIKE: I can help you with those if you like...!)

(MATT: Come on Em, relax.) No, it's not okay Matt. That bitch is on crack or something.

Whatever. I don't have time for jealous bitches.

Fine. Whatever. Anything to get away from that whore. (EMILY: Are you kidding me? I'm the whore?)

Ugh, you know, I can't believe Emily sometimes... why is she such a royal B? How could you have ever gone out with someone like that?

(MIKE: Exiled.) More like sex-iled.

Come on troops, move out.

I wonder if they have any room service up at the cabin. I could so use a triple grande mocha cappuccino right now.

You lit up my night... Now all we need are some fireworks later...

How bout some jams? (MIKE: Whatever puts you in the mood.) This one might be my favourite... Until their next one comes out, then that'll probably be my favourite. (MIKE: That's a really good way of thinking about it.) Thanks! ... ...what?

(MIKE: Josh seemed pretty happy to get rid of us back there, didn't he?) Michael! I had no idea you had such a gossipy side... Is this the politician in you? (MIKE: Politician nothing; the guy's a dick!) Hmm.

I keep having this great thought, but then I keep forgetting it.

Somebody's going to owe me a new outfit.

(MIKE: I didn't know Hannah wore glasses.) Yeah. Just when she wasn't around any cute boys.

I wonder if they deliver take out up here. I mean right here.

Ugh. My shoes are getting so moist.

I wonder what's going on back at the lodge. Everybody's probably doin' it.

Nature's kinda gross.

Is that Orion's belt or is he just happy to see me?

Hah! I'm totally going to tell everyone about your fear of birdies.

Stand back, Debbie downer.

Don't worry, I'll save Woodsgate for the next election.

(MIKE: Some of these planks are pretty rickety.) You know what else is rickety? (MIKE: What?) Your face is rickety. (MIKE: That's a really good one!) Thank you!

(MIKE: Watch your step, Jess.) You know what? You're worse than my mom. My mom!

Boom! Sting like a butterfly and float like a bee.

Wow, look at that old photo. (MIKE: Must be an old mining team.) Looks like they really knew how to... handle themselves. (MIKE: Sounds like you wish you could handle them.) Looks really old. I wonder if they're all dead now. Ugh! So creepy!

(MIKE: Probably faulty wiring or something.) You've got faulty wiring.

Unless you want to make out with an ice sculpture, I suggest you get a fire going. Pronto.

It's so cold in here right now my tongue would get stuck to your flagpole.

I'm cold, I'm bored, and I'm getting rapidly less horny. You want to hurry it up with the fire?

(MIKE: It's so dusty.) No maid service up here? What a rip.

Coldness generally isn't conducive to hotness, Michael... Woah. That sounded, like, deep.

While you were trying to find the right button to push, I found some de-light-ful candles that wonderfully spice up the place and light up all the nooks and crannies... Far more cosy and accommodating, don't you think?

I can't lose my phone, my parents are gonna kill me! (MIKE: You can always get a new one!) That's like my fourth one this year.

Just unfasten it! (MIKE: I can get it! I can get it!) Don't send a man to do a woman's job.

Oh. Those perverted assholes. Why can't they just leave us alone and let us have a perfectly nice time? God! What jerks! (MIKE: Hey, they're just trying to have a good time.) Yeah? Well, so are we!

You guys are such dicks! Are you really that upset with me and Michael that you want to ruin our fun? Huh? Well, guess what? You can't ruin it! Because Michael and I are gonna screw! That's right! We're gonna have sex! And it's gonna be hot! So enjoy it! 'Cause I know we're going to! Ugh.

MATT

Ohhhh! She just got Emily'd!

Wow. Someone had a good time in here.

Why would someone leave a picture of keys where the keys should be?

This place can't just be a huge death trap, right? Cable car can't be the only way in and out of this joint.

Josh had a lot of problems... I think he just wanted to be able to sort things out... and put this all behind us...

So the joke I learned, it's really good, it's about like, a dude, who's got a haircut like the moon, and-

Coyote? Bear? ... Why is that okay?

C'mon, Matt... You don't wanna die down here.

The hell is that… Jessica? (JESS: Matt? Jesus… So it got you too.) Yeah… You okay? (JESS: Hardly...) Let's get the hell out of this place. Look! There! (JESS: Light!) That's the cable car station!

Come on, man... nearly there... nearly there...

JOSH/THE PSYCHO

Come on, lock... My lockpick skills are a little rusty...

This is the most boring break-in ever. You haven't even broken in yet.

Hey! Grit bin! Nice work moving that over here!

Everything all right in there? (CHRIS: Yeah, I'm fine. It's really dirty. And a little freaky.) Sounds like my kind of date! (CHRIS: Offf course it does.)

Dude, come on! Let's open this jawn!

Ahh-hahaha! Dude are you okay? That lil' wolverine almost gave you a paper cut!

(SAM: Hey, those things are known to be vicious sometimes.) Vicious to lil' babies. Lil' Chrissy babies.

(SAM: Thank you Chris.) Thaaaank you Chriiiiis.

Yo! Explorers! You guys are gonna need the keys for the love shack!

As you can see, your friend Josh is now in quite an unfortunate situation. If you wish to see him dead, then do nothing and you may watch him die.

Second... clue... picture if you will... high atop a powdery mountain... the only place possible for a jacked up jock like Matthew to score a... 'big break'...

If you'll please now direct your attention towards the main attraction...

Not much time left before your friend is... perforated...

Congratulations! You've just bought yourself... more time... to watch your friend die...

My my my, didn't you do well! You fought the system and you've won. And what you've won is a prize! You're a lucky winner, come on down!

Well, that's the end, folks. I only wish it could have turned out differently, but, unfortunately, I'm still going to kill your friend because, hey - winners don't play by the rules!

Allow me to introduce myself, I am your host!

Oh, I had fun with them... and now I'll have fun with you... There's nothing wrong with having a little fun, is there?

Samantha, my darling, I don't think your friends are going to help you... I've already had a little fun with them...

Oh what a delight it was watching his life drain away. I wonder if watching yours will be just as fun.

(SAM: What do you want?) I just want a little fun, Sam... so why don't we... mix things up a little... You can have ten seconds to pretend like you're escaping... and then you're dead!

Go on, hide if you like... I know just where you are.

(CHRIS: What do you want from us?!) Well now, Mr Chris... I think you've got the answer right there in front of you.

Oh borrring... You think I didn't bulletproof my machinery?

(CHRIS: You're sick!) Heh heh heh... why thank you, kind sir... but the choice... is yours... play ball!

I'm sorry... so sorry... it's all my fault...

THE STRANGER

It would be wise for you to hear me out.

You seem to listen but not to hear.

You have no chance out there on your own- (CHRIS: I'll just have to take my chances.) Then I'll go with you. Alone would be suicide. (CHRIS: Yeah well you're so special.) I am... experienced.

You do not seem too concerned with saving the life of your friend.

(CHRIS: Have you done this before?) Have I foolishly attempted to free a dead man in the hopes of becoming one myself? (CHRIS: Uh...) You ask questions that are not very useful. (CHRIS: My teachers say the same thing. But yeah, so, have you?) This is not my first barbecue.

He who seeks avoidance finds out what he seeks to avoid. (CHRIS: That's... a really confusing saying.)

[kindlespice]

🍉 actual hiatus 🍉

hi hi! so... it's been a while! *checks notes* i have not posted since august... of last year x.x i've been lurking around a bit occasionally dropping likes here and there, but for the most part been entirely absent. i feel like it's wayyyy past time for me to check-in, let everybody know i'm okay and all that jazz. but i am declaring this an actual hiatus now

tl;dr

i lost the simblr itch, i thought "surely it will come back" but it never came back and now i'm hyperfixating on other things.

i'm gonna put specifics under a read more if anyone's that interested in what i've been doing, what i will be doing, where i'll be hanging out now, etc. but it's really nothing big or major--just interests changing.

⭐ my content + patreon

(since it's kinda important and i want everyone to be able to see this) i'm not deleting this account and i'm still keeping my content up both on patreon and sfs! you will still be able to download things for free!!! i will be deleting my patreon tier! even though it was basically a donation tier, i feel bad keeping it up knowing i'm consciously not making more sims content (or being really active in the community) for the foreseeable future i'll be reaching out to existing patrons and making a similar post over there as well about the tier change!

i also wanna say thank you to everyone who's ever followed, donated, liked, commented, messaged, lurked or just been sweet and kind to me ❤️! simblr will always have a special place in my heart, so i don't think i'll ever leave leave, but i owe it to you guys to let you know that i'm making the conscious decision to be inactive for some time.

as a closing statement, fk isr*el and i am absolutely 100% without a doubt full stop

AGAINST GENOCIDE AND FOR A 🍉 FREE PALESTINE 🍉

you should be too if you're any kind of decent human being :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐what will happen to my account?

nothing really. or at least nothing different from how it's been for the last year and some change XD like i said, i'm still keeping my blogs up, downloads won't move, etc. i am just committing to not actively posting content or really being on simblr that much. maybe i'll drop some likes or comments when the mood hits (like i have been), but not really much else. i guess if there's any questions about this i'll answer them since my active attention will be back on simblr for at least a few days while i clean some things up. i would like to do one last thing as a kind of parting gift at some point... i never did end up cleaning up my downloads page or organize the thumbs/sorting for my cc like i said i would so maybe i'll do that before it gets away from me again but i'm not making any promises

⭐why am i on hiatus?

nothing bad happened or anything, i just.... lost interest. I already wasn't really playing the game that much even when i was super active; i mostly just took pictures and did edits. but i just wasn't having as much fun as i used to, opening the game started feeling like a chore, i wasn't all that inspired to make content, etc. i've burnt out on simblr on many an occasion so i just took a break like i always do but it kept going...and going.......and going.........until i realized it had been FOREVER and i hadn't really felt the itch to create here during that time, it wasn't coming back, and i was having much more fun doing other stuff. the times i did consider coming back it was more bc i felt bad about not creating rather than any actual desire to create. so i had to think long and hard about whether or not i even really wanted to come back. and i flip-flopped for probably 6 months--trying to drum up creative projects and never committing--before coming to the conclusion that i think i just need to call it a hiatus XD

⭐what have i been up to?

annoying my family with boycott lists and making them buy alternatively :D bouncing back and forth between many different hyperfixations... i fell back down the skyrim rabbithole several times, genshin, stardew, acnh, made a million notion pages i'll never use--the usual suspects. BUT BG3! at one point i swore i was gonna come back end of july/early aug but then BG3 dropped early and it was over... i definitely did A LOT of heavy lurking here when the girlies were all posting GORGEOUS tavs omg... i spent a while getting ts3 up and running, even made a sideblog thinking "maybe i'll come back with ts3 content that would be cool!"... just to not end up playing and not using the sideblog and not coming back -.- 4LIENS were supposed to have a comeback like... 4 separate times and it just did not happen... i've been making a concerted effort to get back into drawing and art. i've been in a kind of... depression? slump? with it for years now; always feeling like it wasn't good enough, that i should be better since i'm so "gifted and talented", i should be monetizing it and not "wasting" all that skill, blah blah imposter syndrome blah blah getting frustrated when i'm not 100% perfect all the time blah blah feeling like a disappointment to my family blah blah... but i am HELLA sick and tired of having all this anxiety and fear surrounding something i used to love so much so i'm pushing through! i've been trying out lots of different mediums and actually using my sketchbooks and just generally trying to introduce more fun into the process and stop being so hard on myself all the time. i picked up crocheting for a bit. at this point i haven't touched it in so long i probably forgot how to do it but... maybe one day i'll make a blanket or smth I started journalling (relatively) regularly for a bit. i was feeling really down at several points throughout the year and i thought having daily entries would help combat the feeling like every day was just absolute shit. on the contrary, the majority of days are good--at worst mundane--the bad ones just tend to stick out more. trying to get back into reading again... i miss doing it for leisure and taking notes bc i want to and not because i have a 300 annotation school assignment :P and a whole bunch of other stuff probably but it's hard to remember every single thing that's been on my mind for 16 months lol

⭐what will i be doing / where can you find me now?

i'm hoping to start a webtoon/build up art socials in the new year as a part of my "reconnecting to art" process. i made some art socials @kbearie-art here and @/kbearie_art on insta, youtube, tiktok, and twitter; they're empty for now though bc i got scared the minute i made them and never posted anything -.- but i'll be real with you... twitter is a cesspool, and im not fond of tiktok so i think tumblr, insta and youtube will probably be where i'll dedicate my time i've been thinking about getting back into posting videos on youtube again just in general. in fact this thought was the final push for me to make this post bc i was like... if i post a video out of the blue with no word to simblr that would be fked up XD i play games all the time and i had such a fun time recording, learning to edit and stuff that i think i'd like to pursue that further. i wouldn't be doing sims related stuff though bc...well... i don't play anymore XD but other games ya know. my other youtube is kspice (the same place with my tutorials, speed edits, the acnh vid, etc.) if you'd be interested in that

and i guess that's pretty much it!

again, for at least the next couple of days i'll probably actively have my eyes on this post/simblr in general (and i am gonna clear out my inbox hopefully) so if you have questions i'd ask em quickly before i go back into hiding XD

thanks again, i love you guys, free palestine, and have a good new year! 🍉⭐💖