#[insert crude joke about not liking balls here]

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Episode 10: Knight & Danger (SMUT)

*smutlet wasn't planned but I had encouragement and then I was inspired and then this sinfest was born. Nothing extreme (lies), just a light sprinkling of filth to get us started. SKIP IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE BEAST WITH TWO BACKS, THE HOKEY POKEY, THE TERRIBLE TANGO, THE—you get the picture*

~Junk-N-Stuff~

Novelty lamps? Check. Assorted ping pong balls? Check. Hula skirts in various sizes? Check. Creepy clapping monkeys with cymbals? Check. New shipment of fifty glow-in-the-dark lightbulbs? Ten, fifteen, twenty—wait... Ten, fifteen, twenty... Twenty?

"Doofus, I'm trying to do something here!" (y/n) whined as she tried to count what the store above her home did and didn't have, but her attempts were thwarted by someone trying their best to distract her. 

It had been a late start to the morning and she had a lot to do because of said late start; the shop floor needed to be swept, the displays needed to be adjusted and fixed but most importantly, she needed to check her list of items in the storeroom around the back to see what they had plenty of and whether they needed to place an order. 

But that was hard when a strong pair of hands were wandering from her waist to her tummy to her hips and...elsewhere.

"It's a fake store, sweetheart. You don't need to worry so much...I don't," Ray replied, kissing down his sweet girl's neck as her shaking hands wandered through the shelves. She was trying to keep counting, hoping to come up with a figure so she could finish up and give him the attention he was so desperately craving but her brain couldn't grasp any numbers right now, even though they were her speciality. He was too good at distracting her. 

"Yeah, I know you don't, Raymond. But fake store or not, our customers are going to get suspicious when they come in to buy some junk and find that we have nothing to sell. So, that means I have to take stock, which is easier said than done when you've got hands...there," she scolded him, rolling her eyes when she felt his smirk grow against her skin and she knew that he'd never feel any shame for what he was doing, not when she showed that she loved it just as much as he did. 

His fingers were playing with the button and zipper on her jeans, flicking the metal slider and circling his finger around the cold stud, taunting that he might or might not pop it open and slide it down.

"But baby, it's been so long since this morning—since I last had you..." Now, he was the one whining, a high-pitched lilt in the back of his throat that told her that he wanted something and wasn't going to stop until he got it or got pushed away. But his statement was ridiculous; after all, there was a reason why she'd started so late, much later than she normally would on a Saturday morning when the teens were due to come in for work.

"It was an hour ago! And I've been trying to catch up on work ever since, so go...do it yourself," (y/n) muttered, feeling her cheeks heat up at the thought but she didn't have time for "action", not the sort he was after anyway. Henry, Charlotte and Jasper would be in the store any minute and she'd melt into a puddle should they see or hear or sense something that didn't involve them. 

Seriously, Henry's poop jokes would end and in the ashes would rise the endless teasing of how they did it in the back room. Nuh-uh, no way, Pedro, no thanks and goodnight. Besides, he'd loved her for years before they'd gotten together, so surely, one more round going solo wouldn't hurt.

"Hour's too long and anyway, I can't fuck my hand, sweet girl."

"And why's that?" She looked over her shoulder, inhaling sharply at how the air in the room had seemingly gone from frigid to suffocatingly hot in point five seconds. 

Only he could beat her argument of staying focused by being so crude, only he could say one thing and have her full attention, despite all her big talk about focusing on the task at hand and how he was the culprit who delayed her in the first place. She was intrigued, though. Most guys would happily take self-pleasure over no pleasure at all and they'd also probably think that they'd get lucky next time but not her doofus. He wasn't like most guys.

"I'm not interested in myself...I'm just after this," Ray whispered hotly and nipped at the skin under her ear as his fingers expertly worked the button on her jeans, poking it through the hole in the denim until it was open and then it was just a matter of slowly sliding down the zipper. 

Show off; he only had one hand but that was all he needed, just four fingers and a thumb to open her pants and pull them down by just a fraction. Not much, no more than an inch, just enough to loosen them so his fingers could dip past her waistband and into her cotton panties. Okay, so, that was his plan all along.

"Shouldn't have worn these jeans, pretty girl. Shouldn't have reached for the top shelf either," he growled, the throaty noise reverberating in her ear and causing the woman to release a soft, barely audible moan. 

Honest, he hadn't come upstairs looking for trouble, he'd actually ventured into his store to see what she was up to and if she needed help since she was on the shorter side when it came to stacking shelves but then, when he'd stepped out of the elevator, all he'd been able to see as she reached for a pink flamingo garden piece was denim pulled tight and smoothed across her ass, which was perfectly on display as her shirt rode up. 

"I walk in and I see this," the hand that had been holding her hip came back around to squeeze and knead her flesh briefly, "--this perfect ass practically presented to me," a rough slap to her left cheek and his hand left the part that had made him spiral into temptation in the first place, leaving the handprint there to sting numbly under the jean material. 

At this point, (y/n) was breathless, her breathing coming into soft pants as his digits danced and stroked around her mound, pulling back and then returning in a torturous rhythm that left her wanting what she'd originally avoided, but not on the verge of being incoherent. Not yet anyway. 

"I was—am working, d—doofus. I needed to s-stretch to get to the—the lightbulbs," the heroine argued, her voice breaking every time a fingertip dipped into her slit and brushed against her clit. There was nearly no pressure, he wouldn't allow her that luxury yet, no, Ray was going at a leisurely pace that suited nine AM and he found the way she jolted in his arms with each touch too hot to stop. A strong arm had curled around her upper body, leaving her torso immobile against his so all she could do was squirm in his hold and take what he gave her. And he had a lot to give.

"Oh, you're working? My sweet, little girl is working? Does that mean she doesn't want my hand down her pants, playing with her little pussy and the mess she made after I fucked her this morning?" He asked in a light, mocking tone, not enough to frustrate her but enough to make her wriggle when he pretended as though he was about to leave her alone. 

He would never be that cruel, not when he'd been the one to seek her out in the first place to pull more sweet moans from her lips. 

The previous hour hadn't been enough, not when she'd only come once and for a guy like him, who thrived off the pleasure of his partner, it didn't sit right. He wasn't looking for another fuck, that would take time and it would be messy and as much as he wanted to, they couldn't spend the entire day like animals, but he was looking to set the ratio right; three to one, that's how he normally played it. One had been given, two to go, but the lightbulbs still needed counting, even if the idea of a glow-in-the-dark lightbulb was ridiculous. 

Running his fingers lightly through her lips once, not enough for a lot of stimulation, but enough to explore, he could feel the wetness that had gathered there earlier and dare he say the cum he'd pumped into her, slowly leaking out, even though it belonged in her pussy and nowhere else. 

He groaned gutturally, harshly panting into her ears as she whimpered, bucking her hips into his hand when he returned to her clit, circling it once to smear the pearly stickiness that he'd left behind. Shit, did she know how hot she was?

"No—no, I'm your good g-girl. Please, s-sir—" a harsh tap landed on her clit, causing her whole body to tense and jerk at the rippling pleasure that seized her every nerve. It would've been a harder hit if he'd had the space to pull back his hand properly, but it was enough of a warning to make her bite her lips and be quiet, his good girl. But—good girls know what to call the ones giving them such pleasure.

"What do you call me, little one?"

"Captain!—I-I'm your good girl. Please, Captain, keep playing my pussy. Please, I need it." Had (y/n) not felt the pulsating need in her core, she would've been embarrassed by how needy she was, and even more embarrassed by how slick her blazing cunt was. 

It was their dirty, little secret that she sometimes walked around filled with his cum and then when he finally had another chance to get her alone, Ray took great delight in peeling her underwear down her legs and seeing what had stained the fabric. But for now, he also loved how he could switch between rubbing tight, fast circles and doing nothing.

"Precious girl, I know you need it. This cunt is insatiable," Ray murmured, savouring the sensation of silky, velvety slick coating his digits as he ran his fingers back and forth, stopping once to curl his fingertip into her clenching hole just once so he could push his seed into her again, but being filled was what so sorely craved; a fingertip wasn't enough. "But it's like you said. You have work to do."

"Wha—? Noooo, no work now. It's not important—just a—I'll just do it in a minute," the girl whimpered, fighting relentlessly against his iron grip to no avail because the minute she started whining, he began retreating. 

It was all part of Ray's game; turn her from a normal, functioning human being to a dripping mess in under five minutes and then refuse to go any further once she was aching with desire and then, he could tease her, taunt her, her until she went crazy...or at least until he decided that teetering on the brink of pleasure wasn't enough to satisfy his need to have her in his arms. 

The bulbs needed counting, it was unavoidable and his sweet girl had often said that she was the queen of multitasking.

"Count them." "W-what?" She blinked in surprise at his sudden command, having no idea what he was talking about since she couldn't think through the haze that clouded her mind. 

Count what? The number of orgasms he was going to rip from her body? The number of minutes he'd tease her for? The number of fingers he'd be able to fit inside her? The number of seconds they had left until someone came into the shop, whether they be a friend or stranger? 

She didn't know what he wanted, apart from that he wanted her like putty in his hands and wouldn't stop until she was twitching and oversensitive.

"I said, count the fucking lightbulbs, sweet girl. Do your job and I'll do mine," he ordered her, his voice deep and rough yet gentle in his command as his thumb kept its circling pace on her throbbing clit. "I'll push my cum back into your perfect, little pussy and while I do that, you can do the last job on your list. Seems fair, right?"

"No. No, I can't—Ray—I-I can't think or c-count—" (y/n) begged for mercy, knowing that focusing on anything but what he was doing to her was going to be near impossible. The pressure of her clit was heavenly, and so was the occasional finger that slid in to stroke her walls, it was too much...and yet he wanted her to do math at the same time. It couldn't be done, surely. Speech was difficult at that moment, let alone keeping track of what she'd looked at and what still needed attention.

"Yes, you fucking can, smart little girl. You can see if there's fifty bulbs here or not—and you'll take whatever I give you in the meantime," Ray snarled against her neck, dragging his canine down to her pulse point until she gasped at the sensation. 

Fuck, he could feel how her cunt clenched around nothing when he did and he suddenly became very aware of how hard he'd grown in his jeans. Rock-solid, twitching, ready to just slide into her pussy—it would take it, he could feel how wet she was—and if he wasn't trained in rarely practised patience, would've pulled her jeans over her ass and fucked her hard against the shelf, game or not.

But, where was the fun in that? He much preferred to see her cum than himself and giving in now would leave a disappointing anticlimax as if he wolfed down what he should've played with first. This was about his darling fiancée, he'd been allowed to make her orgasm more than just the meagre one she'd experienced earlier and he was gonna take that chance. Anything to hear her moans and sighs of pleasure, his be damned. 

"Come on. Count." Swallowing harshly, (y/n) looked into the crate of stock that she'd pulled from the top shelf—the action that had caught his attention. There were so many and they all looked the same, how the hell was she supposed to do this properly? 

An estimate wasn't allowed, it had to be accurate for the books and giving up would result in her being left to finish herself off and then would be downright abysmal in comparison to what her doofus could give her. His fingers were longer, thicker, faster, leagues in front of hers, so she just had to go for it, and that was precisely Ray decided to plunge into her heat.

"O-one—fuck—two—three—three—four—f-five..." It was a shaky start, but then again, she was shaking quite badly herself. Her knees felt like jelly and her core was pulled tight as one finger curled in and out of her pussy, palm brushing her clit every time it did, making it torture to keep going. Her eyes wanted to snap shut and work on grinding her hips into Ray's hand, anything to chase the climax that was on the horizon, building up in the pit of her stomach, but she knew that he wouldn't like that. 

But she was trying her best and that was what he liked, especially when he saw what he was doing to the woman who could do her sixteen times tables in her sleep.

"Good girl, keep going. This cunt is so tight, so needy, it's practically sucking my hand in—you wouldn't think it was fucked an hour ago," the man rambled, spilling whatever filth came to mind because he thrived off it as much as she did. She was so sweet when she whined for him, so sweet when he bit and suckled on her neck to leave fleeting bruises that never lasted long enough for him to admire. It was one downside to her superpower, but not one to dwell on, not when she was piecing her mind together to get the job done.

"Five—t-ten—fifteen—twen—twenty—twenty-five—thirty" her hand brushed over each bulb as she counted, ticking off clouded boxes in her head as the other gripped the metal shelves for dear life and slowly but surely, she started racking up the tally to the rhythm of his pumping finger. She could handle one, one wasn't bad, it wasn't what she needed but it was a start and not too distracting as she counted, so she was grateful. But Ray wasn't feeling merciful and it wasn't meant as a favour either. One was just the beginning.

"Thir—oh, fuck, yes..." her counting was thrown off when a second digit prodded at her entrance before sliding in to join the other, generating a delicious burn at the new thickness. Again, it wasn't enough, nothing would be unless it was his perfect cock but being filled more ever so slightly was enough to short circuit her brain and stop her fingers from tapping each lightbulb as she went. 

For a moment, numeracy was out of the window and she lost herself in the one thrust backwards she allowed herself, moaning when the fingers entered her more roughly and his palm gave hard pressure to her bud. She needed more and she found it, but as quickly as it came, Ray caught her and took it away.

"No—no. Don't test me, sweet girl. This pussy is mine to fuck or not fuck, so don't be getting ahead of yourself. Stop pouting, that mouth is better off finishing what you started before I leave you here to make yourself come on the dirty floor of the back room."

"Thirty," she knew he wasn't joking, he could easily step away and leave her a twitching mess on the floor and the idea of losing the fullness of his fingers made her break into reality again with enough clarity to finish what she started, "—thirty-five—forty—forty-f-five."

"That's it, so close, my love. So nearly there and I just know that you're almost ready to cum, aren't you?" He asked gently, kissing her cheek when she gave him a quick succession of nods. Fuck yes, she wanted to cum and there were only five left to count, not long to bring her to the die, so Ray upped the ante and slid a third finger into her hole. 

She was filled fully now, too shaky to try and add a fourth, that only happened on rare occasions when he wanted to keep her up all night, but three were satisfying enough. He pumped them slowly, wanting his girl to get used to them before he broke her into pieces and put her back together again, but for (y/n), even the slow pace was enough to drag her to the edge and hold her there.

"Yes. Yes, please, I want to cum so bad."

"Finish your job then, sweet girl. Finishing counting and you can cream this little pussy for me," he smirked, increasing the pace a little bit to make her walls tighten but not enough to push her over. He knew the signs, he knew when to stop and back off, he knew how to get her right back there because this was his game—and she was determined to finish it.

"O—kay...forty-five. One—two...three—f-four—five—fifty!" The quivering woman gasped, immediately rocking her hips into him when the winning number fell from her lips and she'd never felt relief like it. "Fifty—they're all here! Please, Captain—please, can I cum now?"

"Fuck, of course, you can. You're my good girl, aren't you? Cum on my fingers—that's it—fuck..." Ray groaned as his fingers pumped into her at a lightning speed, rubbing her clit furiously as his crotch met her ass and the ensuing hardness that ground against her taut flesh was enough to shove her across the line. 

White, hot light seemed to stab through her body as she came—hard—instinctively pressing her ass further into his hips as if she was trying to pull his cock into her further, only it was his fingers that she was clamping down on. A broken moan fell from her lips as she was crowded against the shelves, completely at his mercy as Ray got off on the sight of her facial expressions, right up until the waves of pleasure started to dissipate.

"Shit—shit, you're so hot, sweet girl, so fucking hot when you cum for me," he panted, feeling an all-to-familiar feeling creeping up his spine as his hips kept gyrating against her plump ass, his cock falling against his zipper perfectly like it was looking to slot in between her cheeks. Fuck, he couldn't take it, not when he felt her twitch again at the feeling of his hardness. Insatiable. "Fuck, pull these jeans down for me. Hurry up, need to see it—need to see your pussy before I—"

Even though the world seemed to be spinning after cumming so hard, (y/n) didn't need to be told twice, not when he practically barked the order at her. Upon hearing the sound of Ray's zipper going down and the rustling of fabric, her thumbs hooked her waistband and shoved her pants down over her ass, not to the floor, just enough to expose her glistening lips as she leaned on the shelves and presented to him. Just because she'd come ten seconds ago didn't mean she wasn't up to take him any time, any place.

"Show me—fuck—I can see my cum oozing out of you, sweet girl—" Ray's eyes darkened to the point of nearly swallowing the brilliant blue of his irises entirely when he saw the creamy mess of her puffy cunt. Dripping, clenching, vulnerable and for his eyes only as she wiggled it at him for a split second and it was enough to cement the idea in his head. He'd wanted this to be about her, he'd wanted to give her more orgasms since they'd woken up late and only had time for one each, which wasn't the usual agenda, but he couldn't ignore his throbbing hard-on any longer. 

He opened his fly, popped his jean button and pulled down his underwear, freeing himself in time to position the tip at her molten opening and push in. (y/n) had no time to react as his length slipped in with no resistance, aided by her slick-coated walls and the embarrassing amount of pre-cum that had built up as he watched her fall apart. The sudden thickness made her clench harshly and Ray couldn't stop himself from cumming; it shot up his spine and took them both by surprise the second he bottomed out, tip pressed deep inside of her as he shot his load and painted her walls white. 

"Shit, Ray—cum-cumming—again," she gasped when the hot, sticky substance filled her—the oddest sensation that she loved but never got used to—and it was enough to make her quivering walls convulse again. As if it was commanded of her, (y/n) came again, this time being wrung out dry by the perfect cock that she could clench around. 

All they could hear were ragged pants and the ticking sound of the wacky clocks on the shop floor as Ray held her to his chest like his life depended on it, pelvis not leaving her ass cheeks until his heart rate had slowed considerably. It was true, he'd cum like a teenager, one second of having her walls around him and he was a goner but to be fair to him, he did get off on her orgasms and any man would ruin themselves if they had her on their dick—not that they'd ever get the chance.

"That was unexpected," (y/n) was the first to speak, gulping with a rather dry mouth after all of her ragged breathing and moans. Ray shuffled behind her so she turned her head to find his lips, sharing a gentle kiss after an intense session to round it off sweetly and she could feel his smile against her cheek when he pulled away to kiss that too, and then her jaw, temple and the top of her head. He got soppy after sex and a quickie in the storeroom was no different, even if the aftercare couldn't be as good.

"Can't help it, sometimes. But I remembered I only made you cum once earlier and then, I definitely couldn't help it," Ray replied goofily, his need to be a dominant sex god draining away and leaving the same old, lovable idiot he was before and she shook her head at his logic. Right, he'd made it his mission and whilst she'd been fine with just one session that morning, considering they were behind in starting the day, it had not sat right with him.

"Whatever you say, doofus. Just warn me next time you want to fuck me upstairs. Y'know, anyone could walk in—"

"Nah, nah, nah, bro, I swear, Club Soda was bought by some rich kid last month."

"Henry, I know what I'm talking about! Trust me, when I went on Friday, the same old guy was still behind the bar!"

"Jasper, aren't you a little old for Club Soda? I mean, did you do your weird dance moves with a bunch of twelve-year-olds?"

"Hey, the J-man Shuffle is not weird! My mom likes it..." they couldn't make it up; they were still catching their breath as the signature sound of the T-Rex breathing fire and three voices entered the store, and they weren't customers. 

Ray didn't need to feel his girl tense and wriggle in his arms to know that play time was over and he hastily let her out of his embrace and gently pulled his softening cock from her slick, swollen pussy. A quiet grumble left his lips when he saw the mess he'd left behind; pearly white leaking through soft lips and down to her clit. The sight was glorious but if he stared any longer, he'd find himself running back down to Man Cave for a cold shower and leaving her to give his excuses. No, they were satiated...for now.

"Keep my cum inside you, sweet girl, where it belongs... That's my good girl," he grinned when she pushed her ass towards him even more when he pulled her panties back up, hiding his favourite sight from view until later that night. It was a shame but a man could daydream and they needed to straighten themselves out quickly so normality could resume. 

He tucked himself away and buttoned his jeans again as she tugged hers up and did the same, allowing him one last look at how they smoothed and shaped her ass perfectly. It made for a pretty picture, one that he could help but fondle gently one last time.

"You're such an ass man. You never leave it alone."

"I think you mean I'm a you man, babe. I can't leave you alone," he replied smugly, enjoying his dumb little joke when it tugged a smile on her lips that she couldn't smother. That was more accurate; he loved her ass, hips, tummy, thighs, boobs, face, hair, legs, feet, ears, nose, mouth, everything about her. And he didn't love them on anyone else, just her because he was what Henry would call "whipped".

"Okay, scratch that. You're such a dork, Raymond," she smiled and lifted the lightbulb tray back onto the high shelf, only to be helped by him when she couldn't quite stretch. She patted him on his pec as a small thanks and headed for the beaded curtain so they could make an appearance in the store before suspicion could be aroused and of course, Ray followed her heels like a love-sick puppy. Anything to stare at her butt as she walked away.

*AND WE ARE SAFE. Thank you for "coming", the ride is now over, please pick up your tongues and exit the smut with caution. We thank you for choosing Ruth's abomination that has landed us all in hell as we are now all filthy sinners. Bye-bye and have a lovely day.*

"Why's Ray a dork?" Henry's head picked at the noise of the infamous couple coming from the back. The three teens had perfectly clueless faces as they smiled at their boss and his fiancée, appearing like the ideal, idyllic couple as they floated into the store, him trailing after her with droll practically running down the sides of his mouth. They were so in love, it was cute, but what could he have possibly done or said to make him more of a dork than usual?

"Uh—well—he—we—"

"I told (y/n) a really funny story!" Ray quickly lied, seeing how his sweet girl was struggling to come up with something believable to tell their innocent faces. She couldn't tell them that they'd been having a steamy rendezvous in the storeroom, they would never go in there again unless it was hosed down and sterilised. 

And of course, being the funny man he was, he had material to back up his claim, so there was no need to worry her pretty little head about anything. All she needed to do was stand there, look gorgeous and admire him in his hot, blue shirt.

"Oh, right...let's hear it then," Charlotte smiled, eager to hear this story that had amused (y/n) and that would hopefully amuse them. She was all for funny stories and even if it was a little corny, enough to label him a dork, they'd never satisfy their curiosity until he spilt the beans.

"Okay, so there's this bowling alley downtown, right? Well, it used to be downtown, it got demolished a few years ago, but it was super popular back in the day, y'know when I was in my...early twenties. Anyray, I was there with a gir—a person once—" he started, plucking the most random funny story he could from his memory. It wasn't the best story, it was long and rambling, old and irrelevant but he was sticking with it. He had to, although some details were rather unfortunate. 

"Ray, I don't care if you went on a date with a girl when you were younger. I went on dates with guys too, you can say it," (y/n) told him gently, not missing how he avoided so the g-word with her around. It was silly really, unnecessary; she knew that he'd done some normal things just as she had, dates, sneaking out, making out, driving out, everything that a boy could get up to as he progressed into manhood and through his hero training, she couldn't be mad at him for that. 

Hell, he'd once taken three separate girls on three separate dates in the early days of their friendship and they'd still found their way into each other's arms. It was okay, it was normal, not some big secret.

"...Thanks, sweet girl," the hero smiled at her softly and curled an arm around her waist as they stood before the curious kids, who were hanging onto his every word, "—So, the guy that owns the bowling alley, he comes out from the back and he says to me this guy, he says, I got a hundred bucks here for anybody willing to box this kangaroo."

"You mean like...put him in a box?"  "Why would you put a kangaroo in a box?" "You should not cage animals," the teens told him, finding the tale weird from the get-go. First of all, it had been so long since Ray had confessed to (y/n)—or it felt like it anyway—so it was weird to imagine the man with anyone else. Second of all, they'd never heard of there being a bowling alley downtown, old or not. And third of all, what were these people doing to the kangaroo? They couldn't tell if this was a nice story or not, or more likely, a shaggy dog story that was a figment of Ray's imagination. 

"No, box, like boxing. Like, put on boxing gloves and fight," the large man clarified, wanting to make clear that he didn't lock up some poor kangaroo, he intended to fight it instead. Which, of course, was so much better.

"You should not fight animals." "Yeah, doofus," oh, (y/n) was loving this. Ray gave her a dry look as she smirked up at him, loving how he was forced to tell this story with no prior rehearsal. No frills, no lies, just the truth as he remembered it and as the teens found it hard to believe him, she studied his every facial twitch. A peck on her forehead kept her quiet, but not for long. If he loved to tease then so did she.

"Well, darlin', I didn't. As I put on my boxing gloves, my cousin's car comes smashing through a wall!" Ray exclaimed, letting go of his sweet girl as he got more and more animated and into the story. He could recall the thrill, the adrenaline, the craziness of the story, he almost didn't believe it himself, but he'd been there. They just had to take his word for it...with a pinch of salt.

"So, I dive out of the way before my cousin could run me over with his car, and naturally, the kangaroo, he jumps straight up into the air and he lands right—" "Uh, do you guys hear that?" Charlotte asked, butting into Ray's big climax with little animosity, merely a curiosity for what the hell was going on outside. Now that she said that, there was an awful racket going on past the glass, not that they could see anything happening on the road. It sounded like screams and crashes? Eh? Should they be concerned or had the circus arrived in town early?

"It's just a bunch of people screaming. Now, the kangaroo lands right on top of the clown! Now, we don't know if the clown is okay at this point—we don't know if he's dead, we don't know if he's alive..." Ray moved on, ignoring whatever was going on because he had started so he'd finish. He even tried to get (y/n) to stay with him, clawing for her waist absentmindedly when she wandered over to the door to see if she could find something out. Who cares? He looked good today, he had one of his best shirts on, and his biceps were out, why would she want to look at anything else as he told the best story ever?

"Uh, those screams are getting louder," Henry pointed out, feeling like the people in trouble were getting closer, not that it made a slight bit of difference.

"Then so am I. My aunt was an amateur lion tamer!" The man shouted at the top of his voice, earning him a pointed look from his sweet girl as she gave up trying to see. The view was too narrow and clearly, he needed supervision, judging by how he wasn't using his inside voice. With her back by his side, or rather, with her arms wrapped around his waist and her cheek smushed against his back in a hug from behind, the hero calmed down and returned to his story. 

"Now, everybody thought, hey, she can tame lions, she can probably tame tigers, right? As it turns out...not the case at all," the more random his story got, the worse the situation got outside, up until the point where it was turning into a Captain Man and co sitch. Come on, people were running past, screaming at the top of their voices, clearly terrified of something and trying to get away from it, how could he ignore that? Oh, right, he could ignore anything with the love of his life by his side and an amusing story to tell.

"Ray, sweetheart, those people look scared," (y/n) said to him softly, pulling away from his back so he lost the warmth she gave him and it sucked. Five minutes, that's all he needed. Five short minutes to wrap up his story, kiss her senseless and then go out to see what was going down. Was that too much to ask for? Captain Man waited for Swellview, couldn't they do the same for once?

"You wanna know who was scared? My aunt in a circus tent surrounded by tigers! Now, my cousin comes out of the back, right? And he's like, we gotta go to Florida real quick." "I think that guy's on fire," Jasper pointed out and everyone turned around to see the horror on some poor man, whose sleeve was ablaze. He was understandably panicking, waving his arm around in an attempt to smother or blow out the flames but nothing was working. All he could do was scream and pray that it didn't spread. So, it was left to the Man Cave team to wonder what the hell was out there that could set something on fire like that.

"Great! We will call the fire department after my story!" Ray told him firmly, growing frustrated at how close to ten minutes had elapsed and he still wasn't near the end. And he would've been able to finish it, probably, had a weirdo not burst through the door, shocking them all to the core. What the—? 

"What is this land? Where is Astoria?" The stranger demanded to know, which would've been rude and odd enough had he not been dressed in a full suit of armour. Not like swat team armour, no, proper solid steel, shiny, medieval, knight saves the princess armour, the kind that you'd see in an old castle full of treasures. And not only that, his entire vibe screamed weirdo, plus, he also screamed literally. He spoke with a powerful, commanding tone that held an archaic lilt as if he was from five centuries prior. All around, his sudden presence was a shock but as the teens froze and (y/n) instinctively glued herself to Ray's side, the man knew how to deal with him perfectly.

"Uh, I'll be with you in a second, pal! I'm telling a-storia right here," he replied calmly, keeping her noise down and not rising to the man's challenge. How dare he come into his store and start mouthing off. This asshat could wait patiently like all of his other customers did and maybe if he was lucky and if he didn't scare his precious girl again, he'd be served with a polite smile.

"I need a sword!" The knight demanded and to their surprise, began pushing over displays and rooting through the fallen junk to see if he could find a suitable weapon. It was like he had no etiquette at all, but Ray wasn't diverting from his zero-tolerance policy. Junk-N-Stuff was a front anyway, he didn't care if some of the items broke, as long as he got to speak before this guy did.

"Dude, that guy's breaking a bunch of stuff," Henry pointed to the man, who was seriously testing (y/n)'s patience as he knocked over piles and piles of stuff that she'd straightened out earlier that morning. Hang on, who was this dick? This was her home, her store that she ran and he was tearing everything apart—if it wasn't for the hand suddenly placed on her shoulder, she'd have stormed over there and scratched those stupid face tattoos right off his stupid cheeks. Her doofus needed to do something, use those big muscles, that big mouth, anything before she blew a casket.

"Who cares? It's a fake store." "Raymond, we went through this earlier. Fake store or not—" "Now, I don't know if the clown and my aunt were dating or not...I didn't ask any questions," Ray brushed past anyone's concerns and slung an arm around (y/n)'s shoulders as if that would be enough to keep her calm. The woman huffed in frustration, eager to rip that guy's head off if she was given the chance. It was like she'd said earlier; a fake store didn't give the knight a free pass to be a bully and neither did it mean that she wanted to piss away money on the ruined stock, something she wished she could get into her doofus' head.

"Where's the nearest castle?" The intimidating man demanded to know, no manners about him at all. He was used to getting his own way, whether that be in whatever play he was starring in or whether he genuinely had minions to order about, but now, Ray too was getting annoyed. He was the alpha around these parts, when he wanted silence, he generally got it and no one challenged his position as the leader of the team, so he wasn't going to let some asshole with ideas above his station change that.

"Hey, guy. You are interrupting my story!" He growled, but even his authority didn't do much.

"There's a Burger Castle about a mile that way." "Yeah, turn left when you walk out and keep going until you get hit by the smell of French fries," Jasper and (y/n) told him, not thinking much of it because that was the nearest thing Swellview had to a castle. A medieval-themed fast food restaurant down the road that served normal, cheap food, paper crowns and foam swords, nothing special. But it was the best thing they had to offer and maybe it would please the rude man into leaving them in peace—and apparently, a "castle of burger" was what he was looking for now that he'd found a novelty sword amongst the junk.

"Your loyalty will be rewarded when I am king. I shall consider you as queen consort," The knight pointed his stolen sword at Jasper and bowed his head at (y/n). His reply was shocking but also kinda...satisfying as he turned and stomped through the door with the same pomp that he'd entered with, leaving Ray to silently clench his jaw at how he'd mentioned taking his sweet girl as his queen. He'd quickly that she was already his queen, his love and next he'd find a boot up his ass if he dared to steal her away. Still, he was gone, nothing to worry about...story time?

"Nice!"  "No, not nice!" For Jasper, the idea of a reward sounded quite nice, but (y/n) felt a shiver run down her spine. Queen? She didn't want to be queen, not with someone like that, the worst example of a future king she'd ever seen. She wanted to be a sweet girl to a superhero doofus, nothing more, and so, she labelled the retreating weirdo as a madman.

"Dude, I think we have a bit of a situation here we need to deal with," Henry turned to his boss, deeply perturbed by what had just transpired in the small junk shop. First, he hadn't been filled with confidence by the hoarders of screaming people, then there was the man on fire and now, the storm in a teacup that was the knight was just the cherry on top of a rather worrying cake. Definitely a situation, one that needed three superheroes to swoop in and save the day. Hint-hint, wink-wink. 

"You want to talk about a situation, try driving up a mountain with your cousin, your aunt, a clown, a kangaroo—" "Hey, Ray!" and the story would have to wait yet again. As Ray tried to get it going again, y'know, inspire a bit of enthusiasm in the teens or even his sweet girl who were no longer interested, but it was useless, especially when Schwoz came barrelling onto the shop floor. He rarely came up this far, preferring to hide down in the Man Cave with his gadgets, tools and projects like Gollum, but this looked like an emergency. Why else would he be holding the emergency phone line that was weirdly stretching a hell of a long way? How did he do that?

"What?! What?! What?! Schwoz, I'm trying to tell a story here!" The hero exclaimed, frustration coating his every word. This story was meant to be a cover-up for what had occurred in the storeroom and now it was turning into a nightmare, but one he was going to finish even if it killed him. His sweet girl would listen, right? He listened to all of his stories, even if she'd heard them before and sometimes, even when it wasn't for her benefit—the benefit of being her beloved idiot.

"Emergency call from Bill Evil," Schwoz explained and held the phone out with his hand covering the receiver. Lord forbid that the most irresponsible scientist in Swellview heard someone's name or a scrap of revealing information. However, it had been so long since the portal to another dimension incident that Jasper had forgotten about it completely, including the man responsible for kidnapping Piper, and the trouble his boss and his friends had gone to save her from a really nice alien monster man.

"Who?" "Bill Evil!" "Oh, right, he's the Chairman of Evil Science Corp," (y/n) recalled the stress they'd gone through to find Piper after thinking she was being murdered. She also remembered the purple goo that she'd been covered in after going through the portal and how it made her hair smell like candy floss and boot polish for two weeks. And finally, she shivered when the memory of how Ray intimidated the man into confessing everything, using his tall stature and deepest growling voice to make a mouse out of him so he'd cop to being a massive idiot. Come on, who names their company "Evil Science Corp" and not expect to be found out?

"He opened the door to another dimension on Halloween..." Charlotte added, jogging the boy's memory. Right, that's what he split his lip open and talked funny. Fun times. But, more seriously, if the guy was calling, it had to be important, right? No bad guy phoned unless something really bad was happening. Ever. 

"I think we should take the call, dude," said Henry, who thought that they should do the sensible thing and at least hear the guy out.

"Fine! We'll take it in the Man Cave," Ray conceded, hearing their arguments and deciding that yes, it might be a good idea to take the emergency call. Something about promising his girl that he'd be a little less selfish and a little more self-aware. But, he did use his head for once though, in the form of agreeing to answer the call but only when he was in his headquarters and his uniform. That way at least, no one would see or hear anything that wasn't meant for them, even if Schwoz had gone to the trouble of coming half a mile up.

"But I brought the phone all the way up here with this hilarious long phone cord," the genius pouted, having thought that his idea was courteous, funny and cool. When was he gonna get another chance to use the mile-long cord again? Probably never.

"I said we'll take it in the Man Cave!!" One snap from Ray and he clammed up. 

"You know it's best not to argue with him Schwoz, it makes him moody. Let's go, Hen," (y/n) sighed, throwing the repairman a sympathetic look as she followed after her man-child so she, Miss Danger, could see what Bill had to say. Henry was quick to follow too, looking at his friends one last time before they disappeared through the beaded curtain and into the storeroom. Hopefully, the kid wouldn't pick up on any "vibes".

"Yeah, coming, (y/n/n)—All right, see ya! That guy's still on fire," Henry waved to Jasper and Charlotte, knowing that the time to socialise was over and that he had to do some actual hero work. And so could they if they were feeling humane, after all, the same guy from before came running into the ship with his arm still flaming and smouldering. 

Hopefully, they'd find where (y/n) kept the fire extinguisher, something Jasper should've known, because, at the end of the day, they all took an oath to help the citizens of Swellview, even if the action did seem far away sometimes. 

~Downstairs~

Having put Bill Evil on hold for a few minutes, Ray, Henry and (y/n) quickly blew their bubbles and changed into their uniforms. They preferred speaking to the man on the computer's monitor rather than crawling on top of each other to hear through one itty-bitty phone; this way, they could read his facial expressions and ensure that he wasn't bullshitting them.

So, as Schwoz sat on the floor with his legs spread out like a teddy bear, reeling in metres upon metres of red cord that had carried across the tiles, up the elevator shaft and into Junk-N-Stuff, they were content to get on with it. After all, no one could see or would pay attention to a little weirdo sitting on his lonesome.

"Okay, Bill, let's make this fast. You kinda caught me in the middle of a story and I got a lot of people who wanna hear the end, including my incredibly hot fiancée," Ray started as he meant to go on - sharp, snappy and to the point. He hadn't let the story idea go, not yet anyway, and neither did he love the idea of talking to this dick when he could be enjoying the company of his lover without the need to act professionally.

"I thought that was the end," Henry frowned, wondering how his tale could still be going when it was already so long and complex and...odd. Far-fetched is how he'd described it, certainly not one of his boss' best stories and honestly, he knew that even (y/n) had struggled to pay attention when he got onto the bit about his aunt. Where did that leave him on the boredom spectrum?

"No! Why would you think that's the end?" "Probably because you were talking for ages, doo—" the woman tried to comfort him quietly as he gave Henry a semi-betrayed look as if he couldn't believe that he'd just said that. Okay, she knew that it wasn't over but she understood why the boy was reluctant to hear anymore. 

She loved Ray, more than anything and she'd pull the stars from the sky if he asked her to, but dear god in heaven, she didn't want to hear any more about his weird cousin whom she'd been introduced to at a family wedding. The guy had suspiciously clammy hands when she went to exchange a handshake but was goofy just like Ray, so it was no wonder that they were like two peas in a pod whoever they were together.

"I just have a question..." Bill piped up, not wanting to interrupt the little domestic they had going on here because it wasn't his place to come between hero and sidekick, man and lover, but he had called for a reason. It would be nice if he got to share that reason.

"What?!" "If a scientist—not me, but a totally different scientist—were to open an inter-dimensional portal..." he started, his tone cautious as if he could predict their rightly outraged reactions. It was obvious that he was referring to himself, no other scientist would be so reckless, and the fact that he hadn't learnt his lesson from last time got their blood boiling, especially (y/n)'s, given her keen interest in the area. Bad things happen when people stick their noses where they don't belong, why didn't he understand that?

"Aw, come on, Bill! What is wrong with you?! Why?!" Ray growled as Henry and (y/n) pinched their eyes and noses in agitation. The poor computer chair took the brunt of his anger as he pulled and pushed it, back and forth, until it started creaking and then, he finally let go to snarl at the idiotic CEO. This was his life and sometimes, he loved it, but other times, he hated it; someone made a mess, he cleaned it up—all well and good—but then, not five minutes later, it was back to being ruined. 

"...And a scary-looking knight with a face tattoo jumped out and punched the scientist right in the face, and then, the scary-looking knight ran off into Swellview..." Evil carried on, sounding more like he was confessing to a massive fuck-up than asking the heroes' advice. Now that they looked closer, they could see that the entirety of his right eye was bruised quite badly, nasty violet patches swelling up to make tender skin painful. Scary-looking knight—what had he done now?

"What's your question, Bill? Enough messing around..." (y/n) asked tightly, trying to keep her calm as he danced around spilling the beans. Ray's hand slipped into hers and squeezed, the gesture small yet reassuring enough to cause her to take a deep breath and let go of the emotions bottled up inside of her.

"Would that scientist be in trouble?"

"Yes!" "No shit, Sherlock. Of course, you would be!" The sidekicks replied immediately, seeing through his bullshit despite his rubbish attempts to make his question hypothetical and light. His attempts to reflect the blame on himself were poor; they knew that he'd done something, it was obvious, just like it had been obvious on Halloween that his company was evil because it was literally in their job name and description.

"Yes, just like you were in trouble the last time you opened an inter-dimensional portal!" Ray scolded him, a stern finger pointing at the monitor to try and make the man feel bad, but for some reason, he didn't look intimidated by the hero. Maybe it was because they were separated by a virtual barrier and he wasn't in danger of getting beaten up this time, or maybe it was because he didn't fear any repercussions at all.

"Actually, I didn't get in trouble. You three just walked away, covered in goo, Captain Man flirted with Miss Danger, and left me alone, unpunished and free to open up as many portals as I want," the scientist replied nonchalantly and for once, the trio didn't have a smart answer. 

Right... After the whole Piper, monster, kidnapping thing, they'd just sort of gone home straight away and left Bill to continue his tricks—having forgotten to punish him for what he'd done because they were tired, fed up and in need of a good shower. 

Plus, once Captain Man started flirting with Miss Danger and vice versa, it was hard to get them to focus on anything else anyway, particularly when Henry was distracted and throwing up at their mushy words and kisses. 

"He's right, we did that," Henry whispered to the adults, who had gone quiet when they thought about the past and realised that he was right. Their bad.

"Yeah, well, we flirt all of the time! It doesn't mean that he should be opening portals willy-nilly! Come on, Evil, man up, take responsibility!"

"Yeah! Dang it, Bill, why do you keep opening inter-dimensional doors?" Ray agreed with his sweet girl, thinking that whilst it had been their duty to bring him to justice, and fair enough, they'd slipped up on that one, the man still should've taken responsibility to not let another disaster happen. Surely, he should've learnt his lesson after the first incident, y'know, shut the program down and locked the technology away forever.

"It's just so much fun!" Or not. Turns out, Bill Evil was a bigger kid than he was and didn't care what happened to the world as long as he got to play god with the fabric of time and reality. 

"You never know who's gonna jump out!"

"Well, starting now, you're not allowed you're not allowed to open any more portals!" Kid Danger told him firmly like he was laying down the law for an unruly child.

"Yeah!"

"What if it's my birthday?" Bill pouted, accepting the general rule, but he also wanted to see if he could push his luck just a little bit. Captain Man was a pushover with Miss Danger, maybe he could tweak the same nerve, not that he was anything like the well-loved heroine.

"Well, I mean, if it's your birthday—"

"No, doofus, no! No more portals, no more messing with stuff that doesn't concern him! Nothing!" (y/n) quickly interrupted her fiancé as he began to debate whether Bill could have birthday privileges, which couldn't be tolerated. 

"Yeah! No more portals, Bill!" That was more like it.

"Fiiine," Bill Evil rolled his eyes at their refusal to budge and ended the call a disappointed and morose man. Well, that told him, no more causing unnecessary problems, Captain Man already had enough to deal with and perhaps, next time he wouldn't be around to save the day when an alien what tearing its way through the factory. But, all in all, that went well and the trio turned away from the screen feeling relaxed and good about what they'd just achieved.

"Pfft—that guy..."

"Pffft, yeah...let's go," Henry jerked his head from his boss to the tubes. He hadn't missed the memo in Evil's story about the scary-looking knight, which he had no doubt was the asshole who'd stormed into Junk-N-Stuff earlier, so he figured that they were about to head out to catch the guy and find out why he was terrorising the city. But to his shock—well, not shock, not at this point—Ray wasn't interested, he was too busy trying to touch the back of (y/n)'s throat with his tongue. Jeez, man, they'd been off the video call for, like, three seconds.

"Hmmm? To where?" The hero pulled away from his sweet girl, who pouted at losing contact with his lips so soon. His tongue in her throat was a bit extreme and an overstatement, she wished that they'd had enough time and privacy to go that far but as always, there was an interruption and because they'd been so preoccupied, neither recalled what Bill had said, just the taste of honey clashing with bubblegum.

To stop the scary-looking knight guy, who Jasper and (y/n) just sent to Burger Castle."

"Oh, right. Him," (y/n) didn't need telling twice, getting her head back in the game as soon as Henry looked at her with raised eyebrows and said her name. 

"What scary-looking knight guy?" He asked, head titled and arms holding her tight to his chest as he looked between sidekicks. Who were they on about?

"What? The—the face tattoo? That just came into Junk-N-Stuff?" Henry said, not believing that his boss couldn't remember the events of the past hour.

"Was this today?"

"He interrupted your story...and said he'd consider making (y/n) his queen for her loyalty." Dirty tactics were never Henry's favourite method of getting a rise out of his boss, but he felt that on this occasion, they were necessary.

"Oh, that guy! I hate that guy!" Ray's hissed instantly, his arms tensing into his biceps that were rock-solid and his fists were clenched, ready to punch the guy like he was in front of his face.

"Let's go punch his interrupting, fiancée-stealing face right off his face!"

"Yeah, love the energy, doofus, but let's take it down a notch. I wasn't going to accept his offer anyway!" She winced at the snarl lodged in his throat; it was lovely that he was protective, it made her feel safe and warm on the inside when he took care of her and made sure she had everything she wanted, of which violence wasn't present. 

Without hesitation, and even if she was offered the world and all its riches, she'd decline his proposal and the knight would never win her hand. It was already promised to someone else; a grumpy, childlike idiot, whose emotions had a habit of running away from him. 

"You wouldn't?" Ray murmured questioningly as she and Henry bounced up to the tube pads where he stood, him having crossed the room in record time thanks to his angry stomping. A quick slap of Henry's belt and the tubes fell around them as he didn't want to waste any time when that psycho could be burning the Burger Castle to the ground, and for a brief moment, the world was silent before the rush. 

"I mean, he did offer you the chance to be a real-life queen...y'know, jewels, treasure, castles. You'd be marrying a king, sweetheart."

"Raymond, I know you think that what makes a king is gold, a palace and diamond rings, but I don't want any of that. I just want you. Only you," (y/n) whispered to him as her arms slid around his neck and they pressed against each other as the suction pulled them up and out of the building.

She knew he had some ever-lasting doubts floating around in that silly, old head of his but the truth of the matter was that all the kings in the world couldn't give her what she'd been looking for all these years. She wasn't one for people who tried to rule others, after landing with someone like that she'd played her cards close to her foolproof vest, only to find true love with a joker — her beloved doofus.

~The Burger Castle~

This place hadn't changed.

(y/n) had fond memories of Burger Castles, not specifically that one, but the one in her hometown. 

Every kid had their birthday party at the fake castles at least once during their childhood; they got to be the king or queen and sit at the head of the table with all of their friends as they ate their food and played with the little free plastic toys that broke two seconds later. 

Then, when everything was coming to a close, they got a crown and everyone sang happy birthday to their "ruler" as a bored employee brought out the cheapest, shittiest sheet cake in the world. Ah, good times.

But, this time, there was no cake. No laughter. No room for fun as the three heroes stepped out of the Man Van, much to the awe of the odd passerby on the street, and marched towards the restaurant with taut frowns on their faces. They meant business and that meant using their angry faces, especially when they approached the automatic doors and looked through the glass and saw their culprit borderline threatening the poor people trying to eat. 

Hell, even Piper and her dad were in there, although the former looked rather embarrassed to be out with a man who still looked for the crappy toys in the kid's meals. But they were shaking after the knight unsheathed his sword and started brandishing it about the place, demanding that they all kneel before him like the puny peasants they were.

"Okay, tin man, you're coming with us," Captain Man announced in a deep growl as he strode through the door to the thankful applause of the crowd, ignoring how his tummy rumbled when met with the heavenly scent of fried food. No, focus, he had to look tough, he had his sidekicks with him, walking like they had potatoes under their arms, acting like him as they faced the knight. Sure, he had a sword, but they had lasers. Who was gonna win?

"Thanks. Thanks, everybody," he nodded to the wide-eyed citizens, who seemed shocked at their sudden appearance, but the three assumed that it was because they were surprised that they'd swooped in so promptly to save the day. 

"I didn't know you guys were part of the show!" Piper exclaimed, standing up from the table she'd plonked at after getting fed up with her humiliating excuse for a father. Her brother and the adults accompanying him gave her a few funny looks, wondering what she was going on about because they weren't there for anyone's entertainment and neither was the psycho with the razor-sharp weapon. 

"I'm sorry, let's start again. What show?" (y/n) smiled at her kindly since in her civilian life, she got on with the girl so well. But as she looked from them to the knight, there wasn't a trace of fear on her face, rather, she seemed in wonder about what was going to happen next, something she may have inherited from her dad.

"Piper, be quiet! Let them say their lines," Mr Hart scolded his daughter, childlike excitement in his eyes as he watched the tension rise between the competing sides. Like his daughter, he thought that this was just some medieval-meets-modern-era performance, good vs evil, maybe even a promo for the heroes so they could appeal to the public. After all, there was a knight at a Burger castle, how on-brand could you get?

"Who dares challenge King Ryder?" The knight asked in a booming voice that entertained the crowd to no end.

He looked at the heroes—or intruders—with fury ripped across his harsh features and he clearly didn't understand that a king was made by the opinion of his subjects—not that any Swellviewian was his subject.

"Seriously, what is going on here?" Henry asked (y/n) and Ray quietly, the woman giving him a shrug since she was none the wiser and just as confused as him. However, her doofus didn't look perplexed, instead, all of the fighting talk seemed to excite him and he looked ready to step up to the plate because Ray Manchester could never ignore a challenge, not one that felt like the WWE moment he'd been dreaming of all of his life. And it would give him the chance to superman-punch and clothesline the guy who disrespected him and hit on his girl. Win-win.

"I'll tell you what's going on here, Kid Danger..."

"Oh, dear god..." (y/n) rubbed her temples, massaging away in advance the migraine she knew she was going to have by the end of this as she watched her doofus strut around the room like a peacock ready to brawl. Two egos, locking heads, what could go wrong?

"This guy's comin' onto our turf, trying to take on the undefeated champions of Swellview!" Ray exclaimed, his voice blending into a stereotypical wrestler's tone, and "Ryker" looked around in confusion when the crowd applauded the puny man. Baffled, he looked at their pleased expressions and wondered why they were excited by the man, who was muscular but still smaller than him, and why he felt the need to climb onto a chair.

"Actually, we got defeated last month? Remember, doof? The kid lost his powers?" (y/n) contradicted him, unable to hold her tongue since it was the truth.

"You're goin' down, brother!" Ray declared, patting her hand a few times before she dropped it in defeat. Nothing she said would tempt him away unless she wore a see-through shirt and nothing else, so if he wanted a fight, she'd stand back until he needed back up. It could be fun, to watch him in action and see the way his body used its power so carefully and with such accuracy. Yeah, fun...The crowd certainly thought so.

"I will destroy you!" Ryker bit back, looking down his nose at the hero, which drew many boos from the crowd. Okay, scratch what (y/n) previously thought, she'd take him herself if she had to, this guy was too cocky. Ray didn't seem phased, though, he was loving the fight-talk, sticking his thumbs downwards to taunt his opponent as his people backed him up. Yeah, that's right, his people.

The knight responded in turn and he must've been from out of town because had he been aware that Captain Man was indestructible, y'know, the thing that everyone knew because that was his power, he probably wouldn't have been so calm. Arrogance was thick in the air as Ryker sliced his sword through the air like a madman in danger of taking someone's eye out or cutting a limb off, but it wasn't particularly scary, more like all bark and no bite. A show that impressed the spectators but bored the heroes who didn't flinch at theatrics.

"Yawn." "Okay, bored now," Henry and (y/n) muttered and rather than engaging with the man and risk losing a few fingers or a head, they simply whipped the laser controllers from their belts and fired two green lasers into his face since it was the only patch of skin not covered by iron. He might have thought he was a tough guy, acting all big with his mean words, weapon and affinity for domination, but like any other man, he stumbled back and clutched his nose in pain as the laser stung just enough to make him drop the steel and teach him a lesson.

If that pleased the crowd then they'd love part two; in perfect synch with his sidekicks, Ray kicked out at the knight, striking him in the chest so he hit the ground like a sack of spuds with a clanging screech. The following applause was breathtaking and the trio were happy to soak it up as the nutter stayed down, although Ray was still weary for his next move and ensured that his precious girl and ward stayed behind him as he approached to place his heavy boot on the metal chest piece. The legendary alpha had retained his throne and the loyalty of his followers.

"M'lord!... Oh, and m'lady!" Mr Hart said rather embarrassingly as he appeared in front of the heroic couple when Ray took up (y/n)'s hand to press a rather sweet kiss to her knuckles, and they blushed awkwardly when he dropped to his knee in a very respectful but unnecessary courtesy. The man was just trying to bring his lover into his victory because if he fought for anyone, it was for her, there was no need to express any devotion to him, hers was enough. And (y/n) didn't agree with towering above someone else, it made her feel...icky.

"I am so sorry about him," Piper interjected shakily, swooping in quickly to drag her father away when she spotted the slightest hint of discomfort on her idols' faces. Talk about an embarrassment; she'd seen him pull some stunts in her lifetime but nothing felt this mortifying, she couldn't believe that he'd done that when Captain Man was having a moment with Miss Danger. Now, all the papers would be talking about was how some weirdo, identified as Jake Hart, was the biggest loser about, not their cute interaction, so now, the poor girl just felt awful.

"Oh, it's fine, no worries. I know what it's like to care for a man-child," (y/n) told the tween kindly, giving her the warmest smile she could before turning to Ray with her most teasing. He was looking at her with raised eyebrows, a faux-offended expression on his face as if he'd taken her joking to heart. A giggle left her lips, finding herself funny more than him and it broke through his annoyed façade, leaving Ray powerless to stop his next actions. 

His head dipped and their lips pressed together as the world disappeared around them until nothing but the kiss existed. The crowd cooed, Henry shuffled awkwardly on his feet to mask how he too was silently shipping them and everyone agreed on one thing. 

The papers would have something to write about and the photo snapped of them as they smiled and smooched would without a doubt make the front page.

~

There was one thing to say about this Ryker guy; he was a damn difficult man to haul onto a chair.

The Burger Castle goers had calmed down eventually and returned to their tables and food to gossip about how Captain Man seemed to follow Miss Danger around like a lovesick puppy, how Miss Danger was the luckiest girl in the world, and how Kid Danger was so adorably awkward around the two when they teased him for his aversion to PDA. Well, some of them gossiped, and some man-children argued about who had the best toys in the toy box, which was especially difficult for their children trying to maintain control.

With no eyes on them, the heroes were left to sort the situation out without hindrance; the staff didn't care, they were just teenagers who were longing to sneak five minutes of their PearPhones anyway. So since the knight was still dopey from the effects of the laser, Ray, (y/n) and Henry wasted no time in stripping him of his protective armour, starting with the helmet and then working on removing the shoulder plates and chest piece so he wasn't so invincible. 

Now, it would be easier for them to take him down should he get rowdy again but interestingly, he seemed placid now, non-threatening, kinda like he knew he'd been placed on the naughty step and needed to think about what he'd done.

"Get up, you weirdo. Let's go, come on. Easy."

"Haul ass, knight-man."

"There you go..." The heroes' pulled Ryker to his feet after removing the last of his armour, tossing the shin plates to the side as he staggered due to the laser's effects. He was just a man now, no metal and no threat, with just his leather under-armour left and that wouldn't protect him that much. 

Still, regardless of his weaker state, they were wary of him, well aware that he was still a large, powerful man with the stature and muscle to hurt them or someone else should he want to. Never trust a bad guy, they'd learnt that the hard way, but strangely, he was so...polite now.

"Thank you for helping me—You fools!" Or not. After taking a few steps, the knight spun around and bared his teeth at them as he raised his open palm at them, his hand high-fiving the air whilst Ray instinctively put an arm in front of (y/n), ready to shield her from danger should he need to, but the danger never came. Ryker screwed his face up with the effort of whatever his hand was supposed to do, but he did nothing more than confuse the three, who wondered what the hell he was doing.

"Is something supposed to happen?" (y/n) asked in a mocking tone that showed no trace of fear. He'd expected something awful to happen but had fallen at the last hurdle so he was as harmless as ever, lacking both his offence and defence. It was rather amusing since he'd tried to trick them, playing dead only to attack again and upon realising he was powerless, the knight deflated in defeat, downhearted at being a laughingstock in front of the lady.

"Yes, fair maiden. Usually, smoke comes out of my hand and then, you bear the Mark of Ryker and I can control your mind!" He replied, looking genuinely frustrated at his lack of power, which was probably used to having. Henry turned to Ray, who seemed a tad grumpier at the man's mention of (y/n) as a fair maiden because yes, she was fair, the fairest of them all, but he didn't like how he seemed to notice that.

"Is he controlling your mind, dude?"

"Nah, I'm thinkin' about cheese fries...and Miss Danger," he replied truthfully, looking wistfully into the distance as he daydreamed about food and his sweet girl. Or, better still, sitting in the Man Cave with his sweet girl as they watched a crappy movie and fed each other fried potatoes loaded with mozzarella. Yeah, that sounded nice.

"Now, I'm thinkin' about cheese fries...but not Miss Danger," Henry replied, liking the sound of getting a small snack after they were done here. The only thing he didn't imagine was (y/n) in any capacity similar to what his boss was thinking of. That was just...ew.

"Whoa! I'm controlling your mind!" "Whaaaat?" "You two are so weird..." (y/n) rolled her mind as they bantered back and forth about nothing special at all. It was kinda cute, though, the rapport that they had and breaking the tension was nice after being so serious - seriousness didn't come naturally to Ray, not at all.

"The cheese fries in your mind are now covered in chilli!" "Now, they are!"

"You mock me..." Ryker stated, a melancholy tone in his voice as he recognised that they were taking the piss. Where he came from, no man, woman or boy dared to make fun of him, so it was a blow to see them having fun when they should've been bowing at his feet and begging for mercy. God, he was up his own butt...

"Yeah, we definitely mock you," (y/n) nodded, shrugging nonchalantly since he seemed to get so touchy about people disrespecting him. She'd met plenty of assholes in her time and he was one of them, so she wasn't going to be intimidated because it was clear that too many people had been frightened and it had inflated his ego until he deemed himself a god amongst men. However, her bluntness was not welcome and his fury returned when she dared to speak so freely in his presence.

"Then, taste my steel, wench!" The knight shouted and plucked his sword from the ground in preparation for a second bout against the heroes. But, as before, the lasers were mightier than the sword and within a blink of an eye, Henry and Ray had pulled their controllers from their belts again and blasted him in the face for raising the weapon against Miss Danger when she'd done nothing wrong. 

A cry left his mouth as the sting bloomed across his eyes and nose, the sword clattering to the floor when his knees crumpled under the strain. Ray's eyes worriedly scanned (y/n)'s face, looking for any sign that she was scared or upset from the failed attack and he let a breath go that he didn't know he was holding.

"He said taste my steel, doofus. He's a bigger doofus than you!" The heroine giggled, melting his worry since she wasn't threatened at all, more like amused that he thought she'd cower in fear when facing a sword. It was funny; she was standing next to the biggest lump of power and punches she'd ever met and that lump would lay down his life to keep her safe—Ray had never given her a reason to fear for her life and Ryker hadn't changed that one bit. 

But, even though she was okay and laughing, a kiss placed between her eyebrows, he was still angry, furious even, because no one, not future kings or the lowest man in the land, got to terrify her.

"Hey, what's your dill, pickle? Why're you so mad?" Ray growled with a pointed stare.

"You'd be mad too if someone stole your kingdom," Ryker replied with a sadness in his eyes that disarmed the heroes, who weren't expecting an answer like that. They were still cautious, highly aware that he'd tricked them before and could do it again just as easily, but they still showed a sliver of concern. Losing an entire kingdom sounded so tragic, like something out of a fantasy film where the burning down of the village is the hero's character-defining moment. It sounded like he'd lost everything and the trio couldn't help but feel a tad sorry for him.

"Huh?" "How do you lose an entire kingdom?" "What's up, big dog?"

"I am the rightful ruler of Astoria. But my throne was taken away from me," the knight explained, eyes downcast and staring solemnly at the floor. Well, that tugged at their heartstrings; if it was his right to rule, then it must've been hard to watch the fair land, "Astoria", be lost. Maybe they'd judged him too quickly, maybe his scary look was just that—a look—and he was just a stranded soul in an unfamiliar place.

"Aw, buddy..." "That's actually pretty sad..." "That's not goooood." They gave him some very sympathetic looks and Ray pushed away his old anger so he could place a comforting hand on the man's shoulder since he looked like he was on the verge of tears. He'd hate it if he lost his home, followers and lover, he wouldn't know what to do, so as a fellow leader, he kind of empathised with what the man was going through.

"I almost got it back, but I was defeated by a squad of knights. And a wizard banished me from my realm, and suddenly, I was, well, here..." he went on, illustrating a picture and narrative in their heads that were almost heartbreaking. Who were these asshole knights who'd hurt such a...gentle man? He wasn't so bad now that he'd calmed down and although (y/n) was still a bit skittish, which was understandable given that he was, like, double her size, the boys connected with him. 

"Ah, I get it. He's not a bad guy, he's just scared." "Yeah, he's just a lost lil' puppy from another dimension...right, precious girl?" Ray nudged his fiancée as he and the kid softened their looks, but (y/n) was still unsure. Puppy wasn't the term she'd used; Ray was a puppy, adorable and goofy, clumsy and soft but this guy, looked mean and vicious, tough and bitey.

"Yeah...with a very sharp sword, scary face tattoos and a Jackanory story that has me crying my eyes out," she whispered, angling her body so half of it was hidden behind Ray. Could that be classed as cowering? Perhaps. She didn't like to look so weak, not against her possible enemies but she felt nervous and naturally when feeling nervous, she got mouthy to ward off predators.

"You are right to fear me, fair maiden. I am a stranger in your land, but I swear, I mean you nor your companions no harm," Ryker bowed his head and curled his fist to her chest in a respectful gesture and made her slouch slightly, but there was still the feeling that she was the lamb looking at a wolf in sheep's clothing. 

"Are we supposed to take your word for that? You tried to cut my head off."

"And I apologise most deeply, to you and the one who came to your defence so valiantly. He must be very fond of you," he also bowed his head towards Ray, who practically purred at the respect he was being shown, going from the snarling alpha to a pacified leader in one sentence since his target was now toeing the line perfectly, acknowledging their connection and keeping his distance. Damn right, he was fond of her, more than that.

"Well, pal, she is my beautiful fiancée," Ray replied, looked at the woman dreamily and slung his arm around her shoulders, causing (y/n) to blush since they were still in public. The contact was heavenly and being able to smell his cologne made her feel safe, especially since the display showed the knight who he'd be messing with if he tried something—the prancing hero in his red and blue spandex. 

"She is your betrothed? Then you, sir, are a lucky man indeed," it was almost as if Ryker knew every method for stroking his ego, pandering to Ray's every love; being admired for his prowess and being able to bask in the knowledge that he had the most gorgeous woman in the world as his future wife. There was no doubt in his mind now that this knight was a stand-up guy and he needed to get back to his kingdom so he could reclaim his throne, something they could certainly help him with. It was the least they could do.

"We'll get you home, little fella," he smiled and put his arm around his shoulders so they could escort him to the Man Van. Henry looked at (y/n), (y/n) looked at Henry and neither knew why his tune had changed so dramatically but the woman went along with it when the kid gave her a reassuring smile. She had nerve flare-ups sometimes, they came and went with the full moon or something, so she wrote off the uneasiness in her stomach as inter-dimensional waves or particles or something like that. It would be fine, right?

"I'm bigger than you are." "Sure you are, little buddy!" Ray laughed at the man's analysis, not realising that he was telling the truth. Ryker stood a couple of inches above Ray and whilst the hero could probably take him in a fight, there was no getting away from the fact that on this rare occasion, he wasn't the giant in the room. Well, he still had the biggest head.

"You know...in a way, I'm kinda the king in this town and I suppose that kinda makes Miss Danger my queen..." "Oh, god..." Henry groaned when the cringiest sentence he'd ever heard came from his boss's lips. Bigheaded, much?  No, he was not the king, he was just the guy who donated all of his time to save the city, he did not rule the place, no matter how much he liked to think that. But in one respect, he was right about something; (y/n) was his queen and he was the lowly joker, basking in her majesty.

~The Man Cave~

It was difficult explaining to a man from an ancient world was technology was. The most advanced kit he knew was a spell book and catapults, so seeing him freak out in the Man Van was an odd experience until they realised that the "metal horse" was frightening him. Of course, they'd never thought about it like that but eventually, he sat comfortably, listening to Ray bragging about their many adventures, which meant they had a plethora of weapons that he could borrow in his bid to regain the throne - it was no biggie, an honour, in fact. 

Maybe he'd even reward them for their service once he was crowned king.

"Help meeeeeeeee!" Ryker screamed as he went down a tube, which was a bit embarrassing for him since he was supposed to be this big, strong, emotionally unmovable knight. But the weightless feeling made his tummy flutter like it always did on the first trip and he squeezed his eyes shut, prayed for it to be over and cursed the couple in the next tube who said it would be fun. Filthy liars.

"Hey, man, it's just the tubes." "Yeah, you don't have to be so scared, they're very safe," Ray and (y/n) comforted him, quickly untangling themselves from each other's arms since he was having a mini breakdown. Whilst they understood why he was scared, it was necessary since Schwoz maintained the tubes like nothing else and if he couldn't handle them, he wasn't going to find his bravery against these enemy knights. Where was his courage?

"I wasn't scared! That was, um...brave screaming," the knight lied, trying to save face as the brave superheroes mollycoddled him. Yeah, because he looked so brave when he was near tears refusing to step into the tube opening and here came Henry, ready to pull that lie apart.

"Dude, you were so scared! I could hear you screaming the whole way down!" The boy laughed, teasing the man for how he'd betrayed his tough-guy persona so utterly. He could lie all he wanted, it was plain that he was shitting himself down and there was no shame in that; it happened to everyone when they first experienced the zero-gravity effect, although, the resident couple were certain that they'd never seen anyone react like that before.

"That was brave screaming!" "Yeah, I also scream help me when I'm being brave..." Henry rolled his eyes and brushed off the pathetic excuse, shaking his head at the banter. He didn't mean it, it was just some harmful teasing, but either way, Ryker wasn't in the Man Cave to have fun. Get the weapons, get home, get the throne, that was his plan, among friends with these people in court jester's clothes were not.

"I would like to go home now and fight for my throne!"

"Yeah, sure, braveheart, where are we on that, Schwoz?" (y/n) was best pleased with his curt tone but turned to the genius who'd been working away like a busy little bee for the past hour, trying to locate an inter-dimensional chatter on this Astoria place that Ryker was from. 

As per Ray's instructions, Charlotte, Jasper and he had gone to Evil Science Corp to confiscate the machine that Bill Evil and his team used to play with portals, so he was using that technology to listen between worlds...freaky. The hat and headphones helmet he'd created was weird but so far, he'd been able to find a few signals, just not the ones he was looking for. 

"I'm still working on it," he replied, flicking switches and adjusting his knobs so the search could continue. Now, Schwoz was a wonderful man, very kind, very gentle, very helpful and his family loved him, but none of them could deny that he was weird—both in looks and personality. So, it was no surprise that when the knight took notice of him, he thought he was a creature from his world - an odd, little, scurrying, pitiful slave with a piggy face and smooth head.

"Oh...nice troll slave. How much do you want for him?" "What?! I'm not a troll!" Schwoz protested, taking great offence that someone would deem him a slimy, grunting, tucked animal that lived under bridges or scratched a living slaving in a grubby kitchen. He was a person, he deserved some respect, which Ray sometimes forgot and took advantage of his skills.

"Quiet down, troll!" "Ra—Captain Man! Naughty!" (y/n) thumped her lover's shoulder lightly for being so mean to a key member of their team and the hero gave her a slight pout and a small yet genuinely remorseful look as she admonished him. But as he thought about his actions, a brilliant idea came to mind. "Hey, hey, hey!"

"What, what, what?!" "Let's give this dude some of our sweet weapons to take home with him so he can get his kingdom back!" Ray suggested, pulling his sidekicks close so they could huddle up and whisper, but as ever, Ray's whispering was more like shouting and Ryker perked up when he heard everything. 

For Ray, it made sense; Schwoz was forever inventing and discarding older prototypes of blasters and bombs in the Man Cave, so they had plenty to spare and this guy needed some help. Look at his little face, he was giving them puppy-dog eyes and it felt cruel to send him off into the unknown to fend for himself.

"I love that idea and I would like to do that right now," Henry stated seriously, agreeing with everything his boss said because he viewed the knight in the same way - a lost soul in need of guidance onto the right path again. 

"I don't know, guys, is this really a good idea? I mean, some of the weapons we have are kinda dangerous and we hardly know this guy," (y/n) argued uneasily, not wanting to be mean or a stick in the mud, but rationality won with her as always. 

A part of her wanted to give Ryker the benefit of the doubt and admit that she'd made a judgement of his character but also, there was a tugging on her heart, one that said that giving him proton blasters, molecular shifters or flamethrowers was foolish. This wasn't the first time she and Ray had butted heads on a problem, one thinking against the other but they always worked it out, so this time, she'd trust his judgment...and pray it wasn't misplaced.

"You have weapons here?" Ryker questioned and stepped in, butting in before the couple could debate the suggestion.

"So many weapons!" "Yeah." "Maybe..." the heroes replied, ranging from enthusiastic to a little reluctant to divulge what they kept in storage. Henry was excited, Ray was proud and (y/n), well, she was trying to stay on the fence. That way, she could see what was growing in both gardens.

"What, like swords and axes?" He asked, assuming that they'd have weapons like he was used to, basics that cut and chopped rather than blasted and burnt. That drew a few smiles because swords and the like were so five centuries ago, practically Neanderthal to the modern fighter and it was cute how he thought combat was still so brutish.

"Yeah, yeah, swords!" "Yeah, we got axes!" Ray and Henry laughed, causing (y/n) to roll her eyes as Ryker gave them a confused look. He didn't know what was so funny but Ray was about to wipe that expression clean off and replace it with wonder. Curling an arm around his shoulders, he turned the man towards the tube pads and the rooms that lay beyond them, where they kept some of the older weapons that were no longer regularly used.

"Hey, uh, let me tell you called a thermonuclear hand cannon. And after that, I'm gonna tell you a hilarious story about my cousin, a kangaroo..."

"Doofus, don't touch or give away anything before I look at it! Are you even listening to me?" And off they went. Ray was determined to find a friend in the knight, and so was Henry, whilst he was more interested in this fancy cannon thing they spoke of. That's what worried (y/n), did she need to explain how dangerous they were? Sure, Schwoz had built better things since but that didn't make it deadly, so she stormed after the giggling pack as they stumbled away, leaving the genius to scan the multiverse for an answer that came sooner than expected.

"I found it! I found someone saying Astoria!" Schwoz cried in delight as his boomerang-shaped scanner picked up a frequency of voices. Astoria, Astoria, Astoria...they kept repeating over and over, and he knew that he'd discovered what he was looking for. Sadly, it was a massive shame that there was no one around to pat him on the back for it. "I found someone saying Astori—ahhhh, I'm talking to myself!"

He sighed and continued listening to the distorted voices. A boy and a girl he was sure, they sounded quite nice, not at all evil like he'd been predicting and he figured that he'd just have to report his findings to his boss or (y/n) once the scary man was kitted out with some hand-me-downs. 

But, as he stood there, minding his own business, reality seemed to bend and before his very eyes, a blazing portal opened in front of him, revealing two people whose voices were the ones he'd been hearing through the signal. They were in a halo of swirling amber and electric pink, seemingly lost in their conversation until the door closed on their old world and left them in the new one—the Man Cave to be exact.

"Stromboli, Stromboli, strombo—oh my god, where are we?" A tall, blond, good-looking boy screamed as Schwoz turned the machine off, deeming its purpose fulfilled now that he'd found someone to take their guest home. They were an odd-looking pair, that was for certain, although he could say much about that. The boy was wearing what looked like spares from Robin Hood's wardrobe and was accompanied by a pretty, young girl with bouncy curls and a Middle Ages-themed blouse. She had a sword on her hip and Schwoz knew that he'd have to be delicate with the situation, after all, they were bound to be like cornered animals now that he'd pulled them from Astoria.

"Welcome to the Man Cave!" He greeted them warmly, throwing his arms out to show that he carried no weapons and was trying to be non-threatening but of course, most heads-of-house are normally easy on the eye. Schwoz's funny looks did him no favours as the unknown teens took him in with shock in their eyes and as Ryker had, they didn't see that he was a human like them, more like a stubby, mythical slave that was a spawn of evil.

"Oh, it's an evil troll!" The boy exclaimed, looking like he was ready for a fight in his leather armour and fighting stance, no matter how innocent and placid the genius tried to appear.

"I am Schwoz..." "It's an evil troll named Schwoz!" The girl cried, clearly panicking as Schwoz shuffled closer and her fingers twitched to draw her sword. Anything to save herself and her friend from his filthy, clawed clutches. 

"Okay, why don't you just relax and let me explain how—oh, good, you have weapons!" The small man gulped when they took their swords by the ears and yanked them from their sheaths, which meant that quickly, he was facing down two very pointy ends. His heart was hammering in his ears as they charged forward, causing him to back up quickly to avoid being skewered since any time he tried to reason with them led to him taking another step back. And another. And another until he couldn't go any further and found his back pressed to the secret door in between the auto-snacker and supercomputer. 

"Let us out of this cave!" "Why did you bring us here?!" "You best send us home right now!" They snapped at him and Schwoz found himself losing his grip on his nerve as the metal wavered under his nose. He couldn't answer them all at once but he figured that even if he could, they'd probably cut out his tongue for some misunderstanding because trying to talk with them was futile. They thought he was evil and they were the ones with razor-sharp, folded steel, it was best not to provoke them.

"This is my personal space!" He hissed back, unable to control himself any longer because there was no escape for him. He wanted them to back off or at least drop the swords and for a moment, he thought he'd gotten through to them as the boy's frown cracked, only for him to say something ridiculous.

"Wait! I'm pretty sure that if you tickle trolls, they puke gold," he smirked at the girl, whose eyes lit up at the thought of getting rich quick. Her friend was a bit far-fetched at times, but the troll was right there and it couldn't hurt to try, so she was all up for it, whether the creature agreed or not.

"No, we don't—I mean, no, they don't!" Schwoz tried to brush over his slip of the tongue, wanting to disassociate himself from any connotations of being a troll because it was so damn demeaning. And ridiculous. Very ridiculous, not that the mischievous teens seemed to care; they were willing to try anything once.

"I'll grab him." "I'll get the treasure. I am great at tickling!" Partners in crime was how Schwoz would describe them and whilst they were smirking at each other, he saw his chance and made a break for it. He didn't like tickling at the best of times, he certainly didn't want it done by two teen strangers with that cunning twinkle in their eyes. Their swords were abandoned to the tiles as they chased after him and predictably, their agility and speed far outshone his, meaning he was their prisoner, not a second later, trapped in the girl's arms as the boy got to dancing his fingers along his ribs.

His laughs filled the room as Ray sauntered back into the main room with (y/n) hot on his heels, totally unaware of what had been going down whilst they and Henry had been enjoying a little weapon fashion show with their new friend—well, his and Henry's friend. It had been great; he now had ample gear to take back his kingdom, including blasters, the cannon, grenades, electrocuting prods, the works and he looked very happy with himself, so it was time to send the knight on his merry way.

"Don't go there, dude. Don't go there!" "Anyway, my sweet girl designed these and they're sick! You pull the pin, you throw it at your enemy...boom!" Ray explained to Ryker with a huge smile on his face, failing to see what was happening to Schwoz since they were having a great conversation about how a problem could be solved with no more than a classic grenade. One that (y/n) thought up when she was still but an employee with a lot of long, lonely nights and a curious mind. That meant Ray was very fond of them and not shy to show them off to the knight, who was now armed to the teeth with guns strapped to his back and bombs pinned to his chest, all courtesy of Captain Man and Co.

"Yes, doofus, they're great but be careful how you use them. I can't tell you how many walls we've had to hose down because of splattered—what the actual fuck?!" The woman bashfully advised the man, flustered by the praise but also concerned that a grenade used in the wrong place could leave an unfortunate mess. And Ryker seemed to be taking her worries on board, listening carefully until she just so happened to look across the room after hearing a peculiar noise, only to see Schwoz being attacked by two strangers that he knew very well indeed.

"Hey!" "Whoa!" "Who are you?! What are you doing with my troll?!" If Henry and (y/n) were shocked, then Ray was infuriated, demanding to know who these strangers in his hideout were. 

Nothing happened in those four walls that he didn't know about and the fact that they'd managed to sneak in troubled him deeply, especially since these two looked like Camelot rejects. Well, one of them also bore a striking resemblance to Henry with his fair hair and fine features but that wasn't important. What was essential was finding out why they were in his home and tickling his repairman, torture that only he was allowed to inflict when Schwoz annoyed him. 

"Nugget-head, we've been through this. Schwoz is not a troll!" (y/n) snapped her head to her lovable idiot and gave him a pointed stare as his remained on the kids, who looked rather pale-faced as they looked over to see not only some strangers in funny outfits but also, the cruellest, evilest, most brutal man their land had ever known; Ryker, enemy of Astoria. The one who'd laid waste to the kingdom once before and had been trying to do so again for years—looks like he'd found a new land to purge, new people to terrorise and force into his army.

"Arc!" "Ryker! "Ciara!" They addressed each other, seemingly shocked to see each other, which was then replaced with a determined fury to claw at each other's throats. 

"Schwoz?" "Hi!" Okay, this was getting a bit weird for Ray, (y/n) and Henry, who found themselves in the middle of a standoff that they didn't understand, merely that Schwoz seemed to be okay now that he had been left alone and that if these kids, Arc and Ciara, were enemies of Ryker, then they had to be their enemies too. Because they were friends now, right?

"And Captain Man as the hero, set to save his pretty girl from the clutches of ev..." Ray joked, turning to (y/n) with a smouldering smirk on his face like he was trying out for the lead role in an action film where a sweaty, muscly underdog defies all the odds to save the sweet chick from a gang of ruffians, only to ride off on his motorcycle into the sunset together. Y'know, that kind of movie. But, as she rolled her eyes and cupped his cheek to accept the kiss he so desperately wanted to share with her, things got heated rather quickly. 

Ryker drew the blasters they'd given him and not just any old blasters, some of the most powerful, heavy-duty ones they had, which had been retired due to their tendency to work a little too well. The kids stood steadfast against him, trying not to look afraid and helpless as he pointed the weapons they'd never seen before straight at them. Hang on a second, there seemed to be a little history here and whatever had gone off, it had left some real beef.

"Hang on a second, do you know these guys?" Henry asked, eyeing the boy and the...surprisingly hot girl with a curious eye. Surely, someone as pretty as her couldn't be bad, she looked like perfect girlfriend material—not that he wanted her to be his girlfriend. Yuck, she was bad. He'd had enough date disasters. Ew. Not that he thought she was pretty in the first place, no way. 

"Yes! They took my kingdom from me!" Ryker replied and took a few steps towards the unarmed teens and something felt off to (y/n). Their swords were on the ground, not that they'd help against the modern tech, but still, they had no way of defending themselves...and her heart lurched when she looked at the boy. For a second, she could swear that it was her Henry standing there petrified.

"Yeah, well, that doesn't sound very nice but let's not be hasty. Come on, Ryker, let's put the blasters down and—"

"How dare you do that to this sweet man?!" Ray dragged her away from the children, worried about what filthy tricks were up their sleeves because if they could hurt his new friend like that, what could they do to his sweet girl? It wasn't her fault that she was the kindest, gentlest, sweetest soul on Earth and a little too trusting of young faces, those qualities endeared her to him, but so help him god, he was going to teach these punks a lesson. Anything for the man who'd laughed at the story he'd told him like it was the funniest thing in the world, which was more than Henry did.

"Sweet? He enslaved everyone in the kingdom!' 'Then, he used mind control to turn my own sister against me," Arc and Ciara argued, painting Ryker as an awful character, one that (y/n) suddenly found herself backing away from. She knew that he was more than he said he was and despite not knowing anything about them, she found herself siding with the teens, who knew more about this man than they did. Judging by their outfits, they came from the sale oldy-worldy land, so they had to know something and whatever it was, it wasn't good.

"They're making you sound pretty baaaad, dude," Henry whispered in the knight's ear, thinking, or rather, praying that what they were saying wasn't true because he'd been such a nice guy whilst he'd been with them. Kind, courteous, a little blunt after the bad start but capable of great banter as they showed him their stuff. The hot girl and her...friend that was a boy had to be lying, they just had to be.

"Oh, I am bad." "Ooooh...wait, what?" The heroes recoiled from him slightly, not liking how cool he was with that admission. It was like it didn't phase him at all and (y/n) looked at Ray with fear in her eyes for what they'd done to help this evil man. But he wasn't giving up hope yet and reasoned that maybe Ryker was just a bad boy, kinda like he was a baaaad boy when he pinched her butt when no one was looking.

"Wait, hold on. Bad, like bad bad? Or bad like I'm a bad mamma-jamma?"

"Whatever bad means evil," Ryker, the villainous coward shrugged and instantly, the trio gasped in horror and took a step back. Brutus, is that you? Why didn't he just stab in the heart as well as the back? Ray hoped (y/n) behind him and shared a wide-eyed, disgusted look with Henry as they gave the knight an appalled glare because what the hell? They'd given him their weapons, their time, their help, their everything and now, he was a bad guy. Talk about not knowing a guy.

"What?!" "You're evil?! "I told you so, doofus! I told you so! I said to be careful and you ignore my tummy again!" (y/n) facepalmed, practically shaking Ray by the shoulders as he tried to sound out a desperate apology to her but all he could do was open and close his mouth like a goldfish - his shock had stolen his voice. Whatever, she'd deal with him and his too-trusting nature later, right now she had a villain in her home, one that had more weapons than her.

"Oh, yeah...wait, aren't you guys evil? I mean, I thought the girl was a bit soft and flowery but you guys..." Ryker frowned, making them scoff at such a rude presumption. First of all, (y/n) wasn't some dainty mascot that they brought along for the fun, she was a fighter and a good one at that. And secondly, they were as pure as they came, fighting for the light or whatever and it was offensive that he thought otherwise. Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger bad? He should've washed his mouth out with soap.

"No!" "We're good guys!" "I'm not soft, okay?! And why would you think we're evil?"

"Uh, 'cause you've got this underground lair, tons of weapons, a troll slave and he threatens to break the arm of any man who disrespects his queen?" "I am not a troll!" The villain did make a fair point, some things did look a little shady in the wrong light but that was just semantics and didn't mean that they were plotting the enslavement of humanity. Ray had dedicated his entire life to the city of Swellview and its people, and so had his future wife and if he was overprotective of her then that was that, it didn't make him evil. And neither did Schwoz's coconut head make him a troll, not that anyone was listening.

"...I see what happened here. Classic misunderstanding," Ray chuckled dryly and put his arm around Ryker just as he'd done earlier as he tried to mop up his mistakes, "Sooooo...gonna need those weapons back real quick." He grabbed the end of one blaster as Henry and (y/n) took the other, and together, they pulled with all their might, only to discover that the man's grip was like iron; relentless and unbreakable. He refused to return the weapons because they'd given him a chance of stealing back the kingdom that had managed to slip the reigns of his tyranny once and he sure as hell wasn't going to let this chance go—or those blasters.

"Pretty firm grip, dude," Henry nodded to Ray, who gestured for them to relinquish the guns. Time for a change of tactics.

"Tell you what, on the count of three, you're just gonna let go and give those—" Ray smiled at his former acquaintance, doing the decent thing and giving him a chance to give up the blaster before things turned ugly. But, unlike the adored Captain Man, Ryker wasn't known as a decent or kindhearted man, hell, even his mercy was as icy as his frozen heart. So he didn't bat an eyelid when he squeezed the trigger as Miss Danger had demonstrated, sending Ray flying backwards onto the floor with burning pain in his chest, much to his sidekicks' horror. Thank god for his indestructibility.

"Shit, shit—back, everybody, back!" (y/n) shouted to Schwoz, Henry and the two kids from Astoria the moment the plasma was released from the chamber, fearful of what might happen should one of them get hit. She'd be fine, they wouldn't and since Ray was now officially preoccupied, she got to pull rank and make the decisions. So, they took covered behind the couch, ducking so the foam would take the blasts and not their bodies, but when they were safe, she made another decision, one that was rather reckless.

"That means you too, (y/n)!" Henry hissed when she dashed to run to her fiancé's side, thinking that she'd be able to help him in some way, even though no ideas were springing to mind. His harm seized her forearm, keeping her by his side, kneeling on the ground and not charging off into the fray when she'd get blown to bits. If she got squashed into jelly, would her super-regeneration be able to de-jellify itself? Now there was a question, one he didn't want to find the answer to.

"But Ray needs help! I can't just leave him with���with him!" She cried, feeling her heart break as her doofus clawed at the ground whilst fighting through the pain. And to make matters worse, the look on Ryker's face was murderous as if he enjoyed the pain he'd inflicted on his opponent, who might not have splattered on the walls like he'd been told, but then again, he had always enjoyed toying with his prey before the killing blow. 

That alone made her want to rip his head off or at the very least rush to soothe any of her doofus' hurts and it was only because Henry refused to let her go that she wasn't facing the mouth of the gun herself.

"He'll be fine, you know that! Look at him, he can take Ryker!" The boy reassured her, aware of how worried she became when her lover was in danger because on countless occasions they'd both made no secret of the fact that they couldn't live without the other. But Ray had super density on his side and that would protect him no matter what that bastard threw his way, so it was safer and wiser for her to stay leading the group. After all, the man was already getting to his feet, looking for round two.

"Get ready to suffer," Ray spat, standing to his full height so he and Ryker could begin to circle. Those blasters didn't scare him, he'd faced much, much, much darker forces and won, so this would be like a light workout, an opportunity to beat this guy up for tricking him so well.

"How? You gonna finish telling me that boring story about your mom and that clown she was dating?"  "It was my aunt and I'm not sure if they were dating!" Oooh, now that was a low blow, one that had Henry and (y/n)'s jaws on the floor because they didn't know how their boss was gonna react. He loved that story and he'd loved how much Ryker had seemed to enjoy it, which was now just another lie, one that fuelled his rage enough for him to pull the laser controller from his belt. 

However, the traitorous knight was quicker and before the hero could fire, it was shot from his hand and a piece of melted garbage before it even hit the floor. Then, there was another blast, which this time hit his arm...and another and another, so he had no choice but to duck, weave and roll his way across the Man Cave as Ryker became a madman, intent on destroying this man or causing him agony at the very least. 

Most shots missed since his aim wasn't good with the newfangled tech but occasionally, Ray took one to the back or leg and had to limp away the pain just to stay on his feet. This fight wasn't fair and it showed.

"What are you doing? We should help him!" Ciara bent down to address the boy and woman as Ray hid behind an electricity pillar, but they seemed to be reluctant to help their companion. She didn't understand, wasn't the older man his master and her lover? Why would they not want to help? If he was her friend, she wouldn't hesitate to swoop in to save him from the enemy and yet they were buying their time.

"Uh, trust me, sweetie, he insulted Captain Man's story. Now it's personal," (y/n) soothed her concerns, understanding that it looked a bit mean and mutinous to not step in but it was like Henry had said. Ray could take care of himself, as per his reputation as the greatest fighter ever and the fury fuelling his movements—she knew that better than anyone. She knew him.

So, they settled down to watch the fight, rooting for Ray since she spoke so highly of him. However, all of the prowess in the world wouldn't help Ray right now; he was seriously outgunned and unable to get even a single punch as he worked more on his defence than an offence. Another plasma bolt to the back had him yelling in pain, enough to make the spectators cringe as he started to slow down, no doubt a side effect of his body trying to recover from the excessive amounts of pain.

"So, uh, you and your boyfriend go into different dimensions a lot, or...?" Henry asked the pretty girl and the annoyingly handsome guy next to her, thinking that despite the drama going on, he could at least make some small talk and perhaps, maybe, possibly get cosy with this girl. Given that she wasn't already taken, of course, and it didn't take long for (y/n) to see what he was doing. She'd given him all the training she could give in terms of wooing girls, it was time for the student to become the master, but boy, was he bad at it.

"Uh, we're not—" "He's not my boyfriend," the girl laughed off his assumption and the boy crawled off to go and talk to Schwoz or something. Great, now he was alone with her and single which meant he was free to turn up the charm, even though he was setting himself up for heartbreak since she was from another dimension and everything.

"Nice," he whispered and made a mental note for his later flirting when (y/n) jerked her head towards the fight and gave him a knowing smirk. Right, pay attention, Hart. Ray was doing better; he'd managed to land a kick on Ryker's chest, although it was merely a way of getting him to back off for a moment to allow him to retreat and the firing didn't stop. A well-executed shot landed square on his back, causing the hero to stumble mid-leap as he hopped from the back of the room to the couch. Okay, this wasn't going so well.

"I don't know if they have music in your dimension, but I'm in a band." "Bullshit," (y/n) coughed into her hand to hide the cackle that threaten to break through her lips when she heard the outrageous lie. Rule number one when flirting; be yourself and don't make stuff up. She'd taught him that and yet he was saying ridiculous things to get some girl he'd know for five minutes to fancy him, even when Ray was getting his ass handed to him. And then, he had the gall to give her a sharp glare. Ugh, teenagers.

"You know your friend's husband is getting beat up pretty bad, right?" Ciara asked, wondering why he was acting calm enough to flirt at a time like this, and why the lady's cheeks seemed to match her satin skirt when she said that. This dimension was weird.

"Oh, uh, they're not married—not yet, and they get touchy when people mention it. And you got me, I'm not in a band—but I'm thinking about joining one...as the star," the boy deflected her question, picking out bits that he felt comfortable talking about and leaving the part about Ray sucking against Ryker. (y/n) had her eye on him, it was fine, even if she did look like she was having a breakdown every time he got hit. He was trying to impress the hot girl and those were few and far between in his life. A few fibs couldn't hurt...

"Hey..." Arc whispered, crawling back to their huddle after interacting with Schwoz. And that wasn't the only thing he'd been doing. " Check it out! I just stole the troll's wallet!" He grinned and held up the leather item that Schwoz angrily snatched back when he saw that it was missing. He had no idea how he'd been able to steal it from under his nose but he wasn't going to let those sticky fingers near him again. Jerk. 

"Arc, can you stop stealing for one second?" His friend asked tiredly. Obviously, this kinda thing happened a lot with him.

"I can't help it. It's my thing!" He replied, giving the curious sidekicks a small smirk. That was his skill set, a lowly thief training to be a knight, although he was pretty damn good at the first. But, the joking mood turned sour as Ryker tired of his puny, pathetic blasters, which had probably overheated after so much use, so he switched to the handheld cannons that had been strapped to his back. Oh, god, if Ray thought the old ones hurt, he was in for a nasty shock, one that could take him down if he wasn't careful.

"Getting tired?" The villain taunted. "I'm just getting started," he replied, staggering to his feet like a drunkard and raising his shaking fists to his chest. He wasn't fooling anyone, the man was on his last legs, barely able to stand up, let alone fight but being the most stubborn on Earth, Ray didn't surrender, merely carried on lamely dodging when Ryker ploughed on. Oh, he did love it when they fought to the bitter, bitter end.

"Uh-oh...he always says I'm just getting started right before he's about to collapse, the silly doofus!" (y/n) murmured, knowing that hardheaded comment from anywhere, as well as the sway in his step and the slur in his speech. He'd be no good to them if he fainted or strained himself and what would they do once Ryker turned on them? Henry would be squished, Arc and Ciara would be squashed and Schwoz really would be taken a troll slave, perhaps even Ryker would make good on his word and steal (y/n) to be his evil queen. 

"We have to go!" Henry told his fellow teens and nodded at (y/n) so they could charge in together. Teamwork was the only way they'd managed to get to this guy if they distracted him whilst one of them hit him.

"Let us help!" "Yeah, we're knights!...in training." However, they weren't gonna have to do it alone. Ciara and Arc offered because they knew Ryker better than anyone and were certain that they could help take him down. After all, that was in their future job descriptions and even though, the hero man was able to land one punch on the villain's face, he looked like he needed all the help he could get. Three were on-target shots as he ran away and he was back on the floor, ready to give up as his body felt numb from soothing pain only for it to rush in again. He hadn't had a beating like this in ages, so his sidekicks scrambled for an idea.

"You're a thief, right?" Henry asked his double, a plan forming in his head that might just work if they were sneaky, clever and very, very lucky.

"Okay, you got me. I stole your wallet too..." Arc confessed, holding up the Man Cave-issued wallet that Henry had for whatever Kid Danger needed to purchase on the company card. Ray and (y/n) trusted him with it, how did that guy manage to take it? Why? Was it because he flirted with the girl? She said she was single...

"What?! No!" "Oh..." "Yeah, no, give me back my wallet. Never steal from me again," Henry said sharply, snatching back his wallet quickly since he was well aware that they didn't have time to stand around chatting when Ray needed help. (y/n) was the verge of charging in headfirst and then all hell would break loose, right before he got to divulge his plan.

"I just told you, it's kinda my thing—" "Listen, I got an idea!" He cut him off, pulling everyone in close so he could whisper about what they were gonna do. Meanwhile, Ray truly was on the verge of collapsing, having resorted to pulling a drawer from a cabinet to use a shield, anything to slow the onslaught of plasma coming his way. He saved himself from a few, but lifting the heavy metal was difficult for his exhausted muscles, which begged for him to put it back down the second he pulled it over his face. He couldn't go on...

"Wait...wait, did you just say time out? I mean, I don't need one myself but if you want to take five, I'll let ya," he panted, staring at the bad guy with blurry vision, praying that he took the bait. Of course, Ryker was still at one hundred per cent, ready to finish the fight and claim victory but the small conversation had been enough to distract him from the group hiding behind the couch and Ray couldn't believe his eyes. 

Henry and those strangers had climbed onto the sofa and were diving onto Ryker, piling on him together so he fell to the floor from their combined weight and velocity. That gave (y/n) the opportunity to slide across the floor and kneel by his side, her arms rushing to wrap around and support him when he practically fell into her. Her embrace had never been softer, her words had never been gentler and her kiss had never been sweeter to his tired soul as he bathed in her care, leaving the kids to resume the fighting for him.

"Oh, wait, wait! I don't need help!" He slurred, his stubbornness rearing its ugly head again since he saw this as his responsibility, his problem, his fight, therefore, he should've been the one to finish it. His body was screaming yes, let them get on with it so he could lay and regain his strength with his sweet girl but his head was ordering him to suck it up and fight like a man. He couldn't choose, both sounded like the better option so when he moved to stand up, someone else decided for him.

"Yes, you do, Raymond. Let us help you," (y/n) whispered hotly in his ear, dragging her lips over the shell and that made his mind up then and there. He slumped into her hold again, arms loosely around her waist so he could get closer and he accepted that they knew what they were doing. Fighting would be good, but the medicine she dished out was better.

"Well, if you want to help me, darlin' I'll let ya..." he murmured back and for a moment, she thought that he was going to try and doze on her shoulder - Lord knows he needed the rest. But, in true Ray fashion, as his head dipped, it turned to the right and his lips found their place against hers, the honey taste invigorating him more than sleep ever could. It was brief, too brief to be satisfying but he still wanted to watch the fight and just having her holding him was enough.

Henry groaned as he was tossed from Ryker's back with one throw, landing awkwardly as Arc and Ciara had but he hoped that the brief pileup had been enough for the boy to work his magic in the chaos. He owed him his life too; as Ryker went to blast his new ally, Arc moved quicker and kicked the cannon from his head, meaning Henry was free to wriggle away as man and boy engaged in hand-to-hand combat. He blocked whatever punched came his way and managed to triumph against his opponent, holding back his arm as he sucker-punched him in the nose. 

Ryker stumbled backwards, towards Henry, and the kid was able to react in time to try and kick him, but not fast enough to stop him from grabbing his foot. As he was hit down, Ciara came from behind, ducking when the evil man tried to swipe at her and kicked him from the chin harshly. In a flurry of punches, she pushed toward Arc and Henry once more, who was able to land a blow on his face and then a swipe to the back of his legs, meaning he fell to the floor when she dealt the final kick.

"Schwoz, get the elevator button!" Henry cried to the genius, who scurried out from his hiding place near the controls for the portal machine as Ray found it in himself to finish the fight. Peeling himself from his sweet girl's arms, he took up his drawer again and glared at Ryker woozily, striking him on the fore hump with a satisfying thump. He was down, for now, disoriented from their attacks and they were ready to shove him in the elevator as per Henry's plan but poor Charlotte and Jasper had made an innocent trip down, unaware of the carnage.

"Oh my god!" Jasper shouted, looking at the scene with fear and confusion. Wasn't that the scary knight who'd promised to reward him? And who were these people? Why did one look exactly like his best friend? Why were they fighting? No one questioned by they were wearing the Task Bunny uniform, all pink and cute and fluffy, it was adamant that they remove the self from the danger before they seriously hurt themselves.

"Get out of the elevator, you two!" (y/n) yelled, beckoning the kids into the room as Ryker stood up like a newborn foal, wobbly and unsure. They scattered, diving to the side as Henry and Ciara came charging forward, kicking the villain hard in the chest so he stumbled backwards into the open elevator.

"Did you get the pin?" Henry asked Arc, hoping that his part of his idea had gone smoothly. Ryker was covered in so many grenades, all it would take was one to defeat him. Not necessarily blow him up, god, they weren't sick, and the teen knights promised him that his armour would keep him alive so that he'd just feel the immense pain of the blast. Hopefully, that would then be enough to subdue him, if not, they were all out of ideas.

"Oh, I got all ten!" Arc replied cheerfully and held up his fingers so they could all see that he had a small key of metal hanging off every finger. Okay, ten grenades going off at once would be a bit of an overkill but whatever. It paid to be thorough.

"I said just get one!" "No, I know, I really hate Ryker. Plus, it looks neat with one on each finger," he smiled at Henry's concern for the asshole who'd attacked his home and jingled the pins a little bit. It was less than he deserved, only a fraction of the pain he'd caused to others, so Ryker had it coming and the boy was not one bit sorry.

"Hey, Ryker..." Ray suddenly piped up, having fallen silent and back into (y/n)'s arm after smacking the villain on the head. He was exhausted, lounging in her lap but dear god, he was the king of having the last word and he wasn't going to let this fool burn without saying something cool to round off the fight. Or something stupid, his head wasn't in the best place right now. "Your story's boring!"

'What? I wasn't telling a story," he replied with a perplexed look on his face because this weirdo was talking nonsense. Charlotte closed the elevator door, which was blast-resistant so it would contain the explosion from all of those flickering grenades going off and now that he was safe in the knowledge that he'd said something vaguely witty, Ray was free to drop his head onto his girl's shoulder. She giggled at her dumb he was, but said well done all the same and rewarded him with a kiss on his damp forehead, which had him smiling more dopily than any comeback could.

And as Ray let himself be carried off into relaxation, Ryker's time was up. The explosion rocked the Man Cave but still, the elevator held up, releasing nothing but vibrations and a little smoke as ten bombs went off all at once. Some did cringe at the agony the guy was no doubt feeling, it was hard not to and the minute the dust settled, Charlotte tentatively pressed the button again, eager to see if she needed to get the hosepipe for this intimidating man.

They gathered around, seeing nothing through the thick smoke, only hearing the coughs and splutters of Ryker as (y/n) helped Ray to his feet and slung one of his arms around her shoulder. Preferably, he'd be sat down right now as she got him a hot drink and a snack but he was insistent, eager to see what had become of his enemy, even if he couldn't see properly.

"Ohhhhh..." "Yeah...." "That does not look right." "Burned mamma jamma," they winced at how crispy the man looked and boy, were they glad that that was not them. But for Ray, it was a job well done, after all, there was no way he'd have ever been able to take him down himself, so he was thankful to his fiancée for taking care of him and proud of his sidekick for saving the day. However, a slight problem came about when he stood next to Arc and patted him on the shoulder instead because both boys looked identical through a sober man's eyes, let alone ones that had been beaten up. 

"Nice job, Henry..." "Doofus, what are you tal—oh, no, no, no!—Too late..." (y/n) flinched as he smiled at the wrong kid and then felt his body slump next to hers. She was holding him up, sure, but her small frame could never hold up his six-foot body unaided, so she had no choice but to let go and regretfully watch him fall, lest he drag her down and hurt her too. He'd be fine, a little nap would probably do him good and besides, it's not like face planting the floor could ruin his perfect face.

"Who's Henry?" All's well that ends well, but the thing was, it wasn't over yet.

~

Half an hour later and Ray was back to his normal self in every sense. He'd been a little too handsy and kissy with (y/n) as per usual, which led to some awkward explanations to Arc and Ciara, he'd been as bigheaded as ever, bragging about the fight and now, with his sweet girl curled into his side, he was retelling his lame story to Schwoz. 

No one cared, no one wanted to listen to something with a non-existent plot line, so the genius just nodded and smiled occasionally as he scanned the multiverse to send the knights home, leaving (y/n) to make her doofus feel like he wasn't talking to a brick wall. She'd rather talk about something else, but as ever, she listened patiently like it was the most interesting tale in the world.

"So, now I'm in the truck with the clown, my aunt, the kangaroo and my cousin!" He exclaimed happily to the confused group. His team were used to it but the Astorians were wondering what the hell was wrong with this man as he kept rambling. Ryker had been peeled from the elevator wall too, just so he could sit and be tortured by the hero and his sucky story and his neck brace and head wrap for the burns didn't do much in blocking out the racket.

"And we're on our way back to the bowling alley when we realise—" "The portal's about to open!" Schwoz suddenly exclaimed, interrupting the story, much to everyone's relief.

"Yes!"  "Oh, thank god...." For Arc and Ciara, it was time to say goodbye and whilst the new world had been fun and slightly terrifying, they couldn't wait to get home...and away from the man who wouldn't shut up. The same violet and pink portal opened as before, showing the gateway back to Astoria and they quickly rushed towards it. It could close again at any moment and they weren't going to live the rest of their lives here, although one of them was...

"Wait, aren't you taking this guy with you?" Jasper called after them and pointed at Ryker, who they'd naughtily left behind as they strode towards the inter-dimensional door. Hang on, they didn't want to have him living with them but to the knights, it made sense that the villain stayed with them.

"Uh, no." "No way!" They chuckled, knowing that if Ryker returned to their kingdom then he'd regain his powers and try to invade again. No, it was much safer that he stay here, in the realm of twinkling lights and shiny screens and they didn't care what happened to him, not one bit as long as he stayed away from Astoria.

"Well, what should we do with him?" Charlotte asked, shocked that they were having some evil guy dumped on them by two mischievous knights.

"Anything." "Don't care. Your dimension is weird!" Arc replied, thinking that he much preferred the simple life he had back home, where normal things happened like magic and sword fights. He understood that stuff, not the strange weapons and clothes they had here, so he was more than happy to leave Ryker where he was in over his head. He was their problem now, he was glad to say.

"Good luck with your band!" Ciara, however, said kindly to Henry. She wasn't sure exactly why he'd been so weird but he was quite cute at the end of the day. Not cute enough for her to want to stay behind, no way, and cross-dimensional relationships weren't her thing but a parting smile couldn't hurt anything...except for Henry's lonely heart.

"Hey! I never got your number!" Henry jumped up from the couch and stared longingly at Ciara, hoping by some miracle that Schwoz could create a phone strong enough to send signals to her world. But, there was one small issue; Astoria was a medieval world and in olden times, people didn't use phones, so it made sense that the pretty girl had no idea what he was talking about.

"Uh, four?" She offered, thinking that he was after her lucky number or something. And just like that, before he could explain or find an answer, the portal closed forever, leaving Henry loveless once again as he would never see Ciara or Arc ever again. Passing faces in his life and for a moment, he allowed himself to be sad at the thought of another girl who'd gotten away, but as ever, he had his wingman to boost his confidence.

"That number does not help me!" "Still got it, though," Jasper commented, causing Henry to smirk and high-five him. Yeah, it was a small success on his part and he didn't let it trouble him, well aware that there were plenty more girls out there and they wouldn't be from a different dimension. They'd be perfect.

"So! I was in high school, yeah?" Ray clapped his hands, smiling that all-too-familiar smile and instantly, the teens knew that he was back on story patrol. Right, yeah, they wanted no part of that and even though it seemed cruel to leave (y/n) with him to listen to it alone, they figured that she secretly enjoyed it. After all, she got to spend time with her doofus, her most favourite thing in the world, what was not for her to love?

"Hey, you guys want to go upstairs and do anything else?" "Yes!" "Absolutely!" "Yeah, I love anything else!" Charlotte, Jasper and Schwoz quickly agreed with him and they speedily walked towards the elevator, intent on going up to Junk-N-Stuff to "work" and gossip about what had happened that day. That caused (y/n) to give them a raised-eyebrow look, but her telling smile told them that it was fine for them to go off and have fun, no matter how offended Ray looked. She got it, no one else could listen to his stories as she could and that was okay, it just left her with more time to admire everything about him.

"Hey! Who's gonna hear my story?!" Ray asked with a pout, not liking how everyone, bar his sweet girl, was walking out on him.

"Uhhhh, (y/n), obviously, she always listens to your stories, anddddd...him! Byeeeeeee!" Henry smiled happily, a glint of cunning in his eye when he saw how Ryker tensed at the thought of being alone with the loved-up couple. He'd seen how they acted, they were handsy and sickeningly cute to the point where he wanted to vomit. No, no, no, they couldn't leave him like this, it was inhumane and god, that story. That story would end him, but for Ray and (y/n), it was a perfect idea. 

So, slowly, the hero guided his lover over to the couch, slightly unsure of where to start since the villain had already said he hated it earlier. The best place to start was probably getting comfortable, so Ray sat on the end of the cushion and brought (y/n) into his lap, allowing her to snuggle in for the very long haul. She sat with her legs thrown across his, her arms around his neck with one of his around her back as she rubbed her nose into his neck and relaxed. Ryker was tugging at his chains for dear life, wishing that he'd taken a better path in life as the story/torture began.

"So, I was in high school, right? And my aunt, she met this clown. Now, I don't know if they were dating or not, I didn't ask questions. But something was definitely going on 'cause they had...a connection—" Ray started, remembering how weirdly his auntie used to look at this clown and now, that he looked back, it was pretty similar to how he looked at his beloved girl. She was drawing circles on his neck, enjoying his voice in her ears more than what he was saying, but for the dark knight, he didn't enjoy any of it. He flopped backwards in frustration and prayed for it to end soon, even though they were only getting started.

"You mean like how we have a connection, doofus?" (y/n) asked teasingly, her fingers sliding up Ray's neck, leaving shivers where they went as they moved over his jaw. She was being deliberately annoying and flirtatious, having a little fun since she saw how much their enemy hated anything fun or loving, plus, it had been a long day and Ray seemed to feed off of her smirk to fuel his own steadily growing, internal blaze.

"Yeah, sweet girl, just like that..." the man smiled and Ryker felt like puking as he saw their lips connect for the fiftieth time that day out of the corner of his eye. The ensuing smacking noises made his stomach feel queasy and he wondered how their friends put up with their constant need for affection. 

Seriously, he didn't know what was worse, the lame-ass story or this joker and his queen.

[the-wlw-cafe]

Supercorptober 2020 - Day 3: Dancing

Read it on ao3 here!

“May I have this dance?” For several moments, Lena was sure she must have misheard. The voice clearly belonged to a woman, a woman asking her to dance, in front of the entire assembled bourgeoisie of National City. A madwoman, clearly – such things were unheard of, and if the involved parties wanted to be able to show their face again among the nobility, they were to be kept that way.

OR

Lena gets whisked away by a dashing stranger who asks too many questions. But it takes two to tango, and Lena is determined to show this stranger that she knows the steps just as well as her.

The masks truly afforded nothing but the barest pretence of anonymity. Lena could easily make out her brother, donning the mask of a snarling golden dragon in his incomparable ego, surrounding himself with the easily impressed and delighting in their awe and gawking as he presented them with tales of his daring conquest of Krypton, and all the treasure and wondrous inventions found in the ransacked cities. Even more apparent was Morgan Edge, whom she identified in a matter of minutes by the way he couldn’t wrench his eyes away from her cleavage for three consecutive seconds. Still, the invited to the annual masquerade ball conducted themselves with the self-assured gracelessness of men and women absolutely convinced none of their behaviour could ever be traced back to them.

Lex, their gracious host for the evening, had often told her she would learn to enjoy these balls soon enough, but while it was entertaining to watch the National City nobility make fools of themselves as wine flowed in biblical quantities, Lena quickly found herself bored of trading empty platitudes and trying to dodge the wandering hands of rich old men emboldened by alcohol or her brother’s sycophants tripping over themselves to praise his warmongering and genocidal exploits beyond the border in hopes of ingratiating themselves with the Luthors. With the years she’d developed a strategy in avoiding such situations, and it consisted mostly of always making herself seem as inapproachable as humanly possible, adding an aggressive snap to her steps as if she was continuously running late for something, venom to her words and disdain to her voice. It was not a mask she enjoyed wearing, but one necessary nonetheless.

Unfortunately Edge was not so easy to deter. She could see him stalking towards her, palms open in what he must have believed was an appeasing gesture. She began scanning the room for a quick route of egress, but found every way blocked by chattering groups of drunks, when suddenly -

“May I have this dance?”

For several moments, Lena was sure she must have misheard. The voice clearly belonged to a woman, a woman asking her to dance, in front of the entire assembled bourgeoisie of National City. A madwoman, clearly – such things were unheard of, and if the involved parties wanted to be able to show their face again among the nobility, they were to be kept that way. Still, she had to admire the woman’s bravery. It’s not like she hadn’t dreamt about it when she was younger and more naive, in the contrary, she’d spent many nights wishing herself away from a family, imagining a dashing girl to whisk her away into an adventure. But those idle dreams were for children, and Lena had long since accepted that the closest thing to love she could attain were quick fumblings in backrooms and dark hallways. It was a reality of life – a reality that the stranger apparently couldn’t yet accept.

Though she doubted he’d heard a word of what she said, the madwoman’s arrival had given Edge pause, but out of the corner of her eye she could see him pick up the pace towards her again, and in this moment, Lena was ready for any excuse to be out of his reach.

“Absolutely, I insist”, she answered, and let herself be lead to the dance floor. The music was barely audible over the laughter and conversations, most couples long since having abandoned dancing for a walk in the gardens, and the almost inevitably following roll in the hay. The woman started softly swaying them to the rhythm of the music, not especially gracefully, but Lena had seen far worse from her peers.

Now that the immediate danger of Edge accosting her had been staved off, Lena allowed herself her first look at her saviour. She immediately knew she’d never seen her before – masked or not, she was sure she would never forget a personality such as hers. Fittingly for someone as foolishly courageous, she had chosen the mask of a lion, long blond hair framing it perfectly like a mane. Even more perplexing (and, if Lena was honest with herself, alluring) was the fact that she had forgone a dress in favour of a simple, yet elegant frock coat with red and golden accents. Lena bit back a smile as she felt the lioness preen under Lena’s slow appraisal.

“My, my, aren’t you quite the scandal?”, she purred.

“I thought embracing scandal under the guise of anonymity was the whole point of a masquerade ball.”

Lena couldn’t hold back an airy laugh. “That much is true. Though I do greatly prefer your interpretation of scandal over the interpretations of the rest of the guests. So far, you haven’t even tried to touch my arse.”

The calm and collected veneer of her partner was immediately ruined as she reflexively dragged her hand a few inches higher from the perfectly tame spot on her back where it had been resting, leading Lena through the dance with nothing but the gentlest of pressure.

“I would never!” the lioness sputtered, honest affront at the mere notion tinting every syllable.

Lena cocked her head to the side, lost in thought.

“You truly wouldn’t”, she murmured, more to herself than to the blonde. Watching over her shoulder, she could see Lex, staring at her from across the room with barely concealed rage. Lena knew he could recognize her just as well as she could recognize him, and she hoped he could also sense her smirk under her black raven mask as she pulled her partner closer and quickened their steps, her lioness matching her tempo after just a moment of stumbling. After all the times her family had made sure she knew what a disgrace she was to the Luthor name, it was high time she, as the blonde had so precisely put it, embraced a little scandal.

The lioness spun them around once, and too late Lena noticed her partner surreptitiously following the direction of her gaze to where Lex was still watching them, the wine glass in his hand now shaking with fury.

“It seems that Lord Luthor has taken quite an interest in you”, she stated.

Lena could feel herself tense at these words, suspicion worming its way through the sense of safety she’d felt with the stranger.

“How did you know it was him?”

“Who else would move with such self-importance and display his wealth so publicly than our gracious host? And”, she added, a smug smile evident in her voice, “if it wasn’t him, why would you have reacted so strongly?”

Lena could kick herself for giving herself away so easily. She didn’t give the stranger the satisfaction of an answer, partly out of pride, and partly to choose her next words carefully as to not repeat her mistake.

“All of which makes me wonder”, the blonde concluded, “who you are to have vexed him so?”

She punctuated her statement by dropping Lena into a dip that had her heart stutter and breath hitch, held up only by one single, strong, secure hand between her shoulder blades. She swallowed, as her throat had suddenly gone very dry.

“Only moments ago it was you who was lecturing me on the advantages of anonymity”, she replied, clasping the other woman’s upper arm to regain some sense of stability. As her fingers brushed the fabric of her frock coat, she came upon something strange: She noticed a seam at the shoulder coming apart. No true noblewoman would wear clothes old or shoddily crafted enough to rip during a social gathering. Now that she was paying attention to it, there were more and more irregularities that caught her eye. The coat was slightly ill-fitting, the buttons straining just the tiniest bit against the lioness’ broad chest, and the rim of her mask was chipped just below the jaw.

“It seems we both have something to gain from it”, Lena teased, wrapping the loose thread around her finger and ripping it off with one abrupt motion, making sure her partner knew she knew.

“It seems we both have something to hide”, the woman acquiesced. Lena snorted.

“I’m a woman who enjoys dancing with other women, what don’t I have to hide?”

“You enjoy dancing with me?”

That much was obvious. It was no use beating around the bush, and while she wasn’t certain whether the racing of her pulse was owed more to the company she found herself in or the fact that her partner seemed entirely to perceptive for comfort, or, as was most likely the case, a mixture of the two, she liked it. She liked their little cat and mouse game, she wanted to see how far it could go, where it could lead them.

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have given you the time of the day”, she whispered, making sure to brush her hand over the slight swell of the lioness’ biceps and delighting in the way she audibly swallowed and missed a step in their dance.

“I’m honoured”, her partner murmured, unmistakable arousal adding a deep timbre to her voice.

“As you should be”, Lena smirked, wrapping a leg around her waist and trusting that the lioness’ strong arms would keep her balanced. In their next breakneck spin she caught another quick glance at Lex, but this time he wasn’t alone. He was bent over to none other than Edge, who was very obviously pointing at them while ranting about something. As soon as they noticed her watching them they got up, moving quickly toward her. Shit. She needed to get out of here, fast. She leaned in close to her partner.

“Would you like me to show you the gardens?”

It was an obvious code phrase. Being shown the gardens might have been the express goal in attending the ball for a lot of the attendees, but Lena was willing to bet none of them were botanical enthusiasts. She had no intention of following through with her bold promise, while she enjoyed the chase, she didn’t like the thought of baring herself to this total stranger with a knack for asking too many questions, in every sense of the word. She didn’t fear the lioness wouldn’t take no for an answer, despite her obvious interest. But to her surprise, her partner took a step back, a few hand widths of distance between their chests that previously had almost been touching.

“I...I don’t think that would be a good idea”, she said, adamantly refusing to meet her gaze.

Objectively, Lena knew that her refusal didn’t really matter, not when the offer she made wasn’t even genuine, but the obvious rejection still felt like someone had doused her with a bucket of icy water.

“Thank you for the dance”, the lioness added, her voice strangely hoarse, bowed stiffly and turned to leave.

“Wait!”

Lena hadn’t meant to exclaim so loudly, several people turning their heads towards her made her insides churn with embarrassment. She took the lioness by the hand and pulling her close, making a show of caressing her cheek for the onlookers before leaning in once more and whispering in her ear: “Our gracious host after me.” She swallowed her pride like a bitter pill and added: “Please.”

The lioness stood there for a second, frozen, before a steady hand found the small of Lena’s back.

“Lead the way.”

She took the lioness by the hand and together they dodged and weaved through the masses, most of them readily making space after the scene they’d made. It was dark outside, here and there the muffled noises of amorous couples were audible through the song of the cicadas. She tugged her onwards, into the bushes that framed the pebble paths where they ducked down into the shadows, waiting. They saw Lex emerge, stalking along the paths like a featherless vulture, but Lena was sure he would not venture too deep into the gardens. Sure, there was no telling what retribution awaited Lena tomorrow, for potentially bringing dishonour on the entire Luthor family for her public dalliance with this stranger that defied all notions of etiquette and morality, but in this moment, huddled together with her lioness, painfully aware of the fact that she had not yet let go of her hand, she found that she only regret she had was not being able to see her brother’s face.

“Well”, she giggled (giggled! She couldn’t remember the last time she’d done that), once she was sure Lex was gone, “Look at you, a perfect stranger whisking me away to an adventure. I must say, I’ve never had this much excitement at one of these odious balls.”

Her lioness was quiet for a while, and anxiety began to rear its ugly head in Lena’s mind as she began fretting over whether she’d been too familiar. Then, the other woman heaved a sigh so great Lena could see her deflate.

“Lena…”

It didn’t come as a shock to her, not really. She knew the lioness was perceptive and intelligent, on some level she’d suspected she knew of her identity. The thought of a stranger knowing her name while she knew nothing, nothing at all about her in return still made her queasy with unease.

“You know my name.” It wasn’t a question.

“You know I don’t belong here.”

“So I suppose we are at an impassé?”

The lioness was silent for a few more seconds, then she spoke again:

“Lena, my intentions with you haven’t been...honest. My sister will have my head for telling you this, but, the truth is that I infiltrated the ball with one goal in mind: I wanted to confront your brother, and…”

Her fingers slipped out of Lena’s, and instead she took hold of her shoulders, as if she was imploring her, begging for something – mercy, forgiveness, anything that had never been Lena’s to give.

“Lena, I wanted to kill him.”

So she was a madwoman after all.

“Have you lost your mind?” she hissed, still mindful of whoever might be out there overhearing this conversation they’d both be executed for. Lena doubted Lex would shed a tear, after tonight, he might in fact be glad for the excuse.

The reaction of the lioness was instantaneous, recoiling as if Lena’s skin had burned her, hands that had been clawing at her gown dropping limply at her sides.

“In front of National City’s entire upper class? You’d be dragged off to jail before you’d even cleaned the blade of his blood! Don’t think you’d be seeing any mercy from them, they all profiteer off of his warmongering! You’d be lucky if you’d even get as much as a mock trial, instead of being murdered before you’d get the chance to see the light of day again -”

“I don’t care!”

Stunned silence was her answer. She’d shouted the words with such conviction, with such disregard to her own fate. Even in her darkest moments there’d always been a voice inside Lena that had forced her to carry on, if not for her own sake or for the dwindling hope of better days, then just out of pure spite.

“I don’t care”, the lioness said again, all the fire having left her voice, looking so incredibly small now. “He took everything from me. I don’t care what it takes, I need to make sure he can’t hurt anyone else. When I asked you to dance tonight, it was for the sole purpose of getting closer to him, closer to my goal, but when you accepted...I forgot everything else for just a few minutes.”

Muffled sniffles were audible under the blonde’s mask now, and Lena felt the sudden urge to reach out to her, to comfort her.

“And a part of me resents you for it because this, us, is something I desperately want but I know I can never truly have. As long as he is still alive I know I can never be at peace.”

“It sounds like we have a common enemy then”, Lena said, with as secure a voice as she could muster.

“Lena, you can’t possibly -”

“Mean that? The Luthors have tormented me since my father forced them to take me in. But that hardly matters. Don’t you see this is bigger than just Lex? Every single person you’ve seen donning a mask today have a vested interest in continuing his conquest, even if he isn’t their figurehead anymore. You could – we could change everything, together, if you don’t throw away your shot with one rash decision tonight.”

“You’d be hunted. Your life would never return back to normal.”

“Good. I hope so. This entire time I’ve waited for some opportunity, for someone to take my hand and lead me, when in reality all I needed to do was take the plunge.”

Another silence stretched on, and Lena’s competitive side couldn’t help but feel a little pride at the fact that this time it was her who had stunned the other woman. Then, quietly at first, she started to laugh, until her entire frame was shaking.

“My sister is definitely going to kill me”, she managed between sobs of laughter. Then, in one fluid movement, she pulled the mask from her face, a cascade of blonde hair framing a face more beautiful than any other Lena had seen, blue eyes glimmering with tears of both sorrow and laughter holding her stare.

“My name is Kara Zor-El, and I am the last daughter of Krypton.”

[sakuchii-fanfiction]

SHOCK! Inazuma Surprise - CP 1

A/N: Finally, I’m here to bring you some fanfics. This one I wrote as an anniversary fic to celebrate my first year in inazuma ffn. It’s been always 6 years since then, and now I present you with the updated, edited and more level-head story that isn’t such a mess but has (hopefully) kept it’s humorous approach. Enjoy

SHOCK One: My Boyfriend Is Endou Mamoru?

That morning, was like every other before. I woke up the moment my phone’s alarm went off, and started playing “Akuma wo Yobisou na Igirisu no Uta.” (love my alarm tone, though!) I turned if off and yawned loudly, looking satisfied. Aside from it being a typical morning wake-up, everything else was far from being normal.

I was the only person in the house. My parents had booked tickets to Russia and were on a holiday trip there. Or should I call it a business trip, since they were handling their pension there? Whatever you call it, the fact is, that I was alone.  

My plans for the day were already decided. I was agreed to have a skype video-call conversation with my friends from overseas. I was excited about it, because this would be the first time we would seeing each other in person. Till now, we had only been chatting in facebook and other platforms.

With my plans settled, I should’ve been on cloud nine. Yet, just seconds after I have woken up this annoying, odd feeling started to bug me. I felt like something wasn’t right and got to know the reason in no time.  

I scanned my room and my eyes widened in shock. Slowly, my jaw dropped down. All the plushies I’ve been collecting for years were gone, and instead there was bunch of soccer balls, varying in size and color. There was also other soccer-related stuff. The only thing, that remain the same, were the two big lollipops I had brought in overseas last summer.

I shook my head in disbelieve.

No, this couldn’t be! This room… it surely was mine, but still… it wasn’t completely mine.    

I was very close on losing my mind and go rampage (because that’s what surprised people usually do, right?) when I heard strange noises behind me. Without second thought, I turned towards the source of the noise, wanting to figure out what it was. The sight didn’t appeal to me at all.

A strange brown-haired boy was soundly sleeping next to me.  

“KYAA!” I screamed so loud it was likely that the people living on the other side of the town heard me. Now, I’m not the type who usually reacts by screaming, but please understand my position here. How would you react?

I jumped quickly from my bed, taking a blanked with me, and crawled to the other side of my room. I stopped by the door, leaning against it, while breathing heavily. My eyes were wide open from shock.

“Oi, Saku-san… why are you screaming the first thing in the morning? You’re bothering the neighbors.” The boy said sleepily. He yawned loudly and rubbed his eyes. He surely did not seem bothered by the situation we were in.

Staring at him, I even forgot to breath. Who on earth was this boy, sleeping in MY bed? Moreover, HOW did he end up there with ME? I don’t remember sleeping next to any other man than my father and brother… and that too was years ago!

At this point, I finally realized to check my clothing. A sigh of relief escaped from my lips as soon as I saw that I was wearing pajama’s. It seemed that nothing had happened the previous night, I was even wearing my socks (yeah, it’s strange, but sometimes I do fall asleep while wearing my socks). The boy also seemed fully clothed.

I was still a girl.

With one worry out of my sight, I turned my eyes towards the boy in my bed.

“Who… are you?” I questioned from him, obviously being on my guard. I also remembered that I needed to breath to survive in this world. I gasped for the air, almost chocking on it.

The boy glanced at me and tilted his head. “Come on, Saku-san! Did you hit your head something? It’s me, Mamoru! Your brother!”

I chocked the moment I heard his words. He? My brother? I DO NOT RECALL HAVING A YOURGER BROTHER!!

“Mamoru…?” That name; it sounded familiar. Just where had I heard it? Mamoru… En… To Protect… End… Soccer… Mamoru… End…

My face turned green when I finally realized the identity of the owner of this name. I turned to him in shock and he just flashed that idiotic smile of his. “ENDOU MAMORU!” I screamed out loud while standing up and dropping my blanked.

“That’s me!” Endou smiled, acting all innocent.

I felt like coughing blood at his reply, and pointed at him with my finger. “I DO NOT KNOW YOU!” shouting in anger, I stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind me.

WHY WAS HE HERE?

Oh, right. I got so carried away, that I completely forgot to introduce myself. My name is Saku Lumi, read as: first name, last name. I’m 16 years old, I have hazel-greenish eyes and light brown hair (according to Russians, I’m apparently closer to blonde, though). My astrological sign is Scorpio and as my hobbies I have writing, singing, drawing and watching anime… yeah. Well, that’s all you need to know about ME… at least for now…

I shook my head while sighing loudly.

WHAT. IN. THE. WORLD. IS. GOING. ON?

The house was obviously mine, so I was pretty sure that I hadn’t woken up in a Inazuma world, like in my friend’s fanfics. It seemed that those kinds of stories had become popular lately. But this definitely couldn’t be a real human world either… Since there’s NO WAY Endou would’ve turned into a real human!

So… what was this world? It seemed that I need to investigate it a little more to figure it out this mystery. Let’s see how far my detective skills will take me.

Shivering slightly, I wrapped my blanket around me. During winters, the house surely was cold; and there’s no way I would light up our fireplace while my parents were away. Knowing myself, I could burn the house down with my clumsiness. All I could do, was cry and suffer.

I strolled toward the kitchen and soon realized that it was full of life. Apparently, I and Endou weren’t the only people in the house. Glancing at the four figures, I noticed it were the managers of the soccer club. The four girls were preparing food – apparently for a huge bunch of people.  

In normal situation, I would’ve most likely screamed out my soul, like I did with Endou, but after waking up to that, I decided to take everything happening around me as reality. There was no use getting shaken by every difference from my reality, because this world was far from mine.

So, I was ready to face anyone and anything!

… At least I hoped that would be the case.  

“Oh, Saku-san, you finally woke up. Good morning.” Haruna greeted me happily, and the other girls followed after her. They all seemed to be so full of energy the first thing in the morning, and joked about how I was the sleepy-head in the house-hold. Wait, these girls even knew about my sleeping-habits?

“Morning.” I greeted them, partly ignoring the fact that I was interacting with a Japanese 2-D character and we both actually understood each other. I wonder whether we were talking in English or Japanese. I kind of couldn’t figure it out.

While pondering over this matter I walked to the refrigerator and took a bottle of milk. After that, I went to fetch the corn flakes. Covering myself with the blanked, I sat down and shivered slightly as I poured the milk into the plate. I stared at the plate with drowsy expression and let out a deep throaty sigh.

As I was reaching my hand toward a spoon, I felt a few pairs of worries eyes staring at him. I then took a bite from my breakfast and glanced at the managers while asking, “Is there something wrong?” I mean, why else they’d be staring at me like that?

“That’s my line, you know.” Natsumi answered.

Aki approached me and asked, worriedly. “Are you okay? You look tired.”  

Seriously? I look tired? Why exactly do they think that is? Since it definitely is all so mundane to wake up in your room with Endou Mamoru sleeping next to you. Also, this whole thing is so-off-from-a-typical morning that I have absolutely no questions about what you’re doing here? The day is so clear that I see no flying Hiroto’s, so leave me alone!

I sighed. It was no use to complain, because they most likely understood about this situation as little as I did. So instead, I placed my spoon on the plate and glanced at Aki. “My current concern is why was Endou sleeping in MY room?” Yes. Out of the things running in my mind, this bothered me to the point I was ready to split the spoon in half.

Everyone’s eyes widened. The managers glanced at each other and smiled widely. I bit my lip. I had a bad feeling about this.

“Isn’t it obvious,” Aki started.

After that, I heard Haruna’s voice speaking, “It’s because he’s your boyfriend.”

“… your boyfriend.”

“… boyfriend!”      

The last words echoed inside my mind.

There was a long and suffocating silence in the room for minutes. It was finally broken when the spoon I was reaching toward slipped through my fingers and collided with my plate, producing this light resonating sound. Everyone looked speechless.

My mood grew heavier as I slowly turned my head toward the managers. “MY. BOY. FRIEND?” I raised my voice to dangerous tone, emphasizing every word that slipped through my mouth. The four managers slowly backed away from me as I suddenly stood up.

“BUT HE SAID THAT I WAS HIS SISTER!”

What the excuse-me-a-crude-insert-word was going on? First, he claimed to be my brother and now, someone said he was actually my boyfriend. With this kind of turn of events, they could progress to the point where someone was to announce that he was actually my father!

Hey guys, Endou Mamoru is my father!    

“He tells that to you every single time,” Natsumi let out a chuckle, which made me immediately turn my head toward her. My fiery eyes pierced right through her, and she stopped before commenting anything else.

Every single time? Every single time, you say! Does this mean that this is not the first time such thing happens? Why does it sound that these people actually know more about this than I do? Gaah! The damn suspense and unlogic is killing me!

Fuyuka seemed to notice the discomfort in the air and immediately rushed to speak, “It’s nothing much, really…” I glanced at the purple-haired girl, while raising my eyebrow. She continued, “Now, finish your breakfast before it gets cold.”

“Sure,” I let the comment pass, but… seriously(?). Did that girl know what she was talking about? I was eating corn flakes with cold milk, what were the odds my breakfast could get any colder? None; it could only get warmer from here, and then it wouldn’t taste as good.

Without further comments, the girls returned back to whatever they were doing and resumed digesting my breakfast. As I was about to finish, the door to utility room opened. Our kitchen was connected to the utility room that was connected to the shower room and sauna.

“Ah, the bath surely felt refreshing!” A pink-haired man appeared from behind the door. He was half-naked having only a towel tied around his waist. This was a typical behavior for my brothers, but none of my brothers surely had pink-hair.

Great, this was the perfect way to create a shocking entrance. A man walking half-naked in your house. Despite saying I was prepared for anything to come, this was too unexpected.  

I dropped my spoon and nearly ended up coughing blood.

“TSU-TSU-TSUNAMI!” I yelled in disbelieve. Words aren’t enough to describe the rummaging feelings inside.      

“Oh, Saku-kun. Thanks for letting me use your bath, like always.” The pink-haired boy smiled as he noticed me.

I tilted my heard in confusion. I was aware that we had a bath, because my parents had built it. Supposedly, it made us seem rich. I don’t care about that factor, though. But exactly when had I allowed him to use our bath?

And WAIT?

What did he mean by always!?    

I lowered my gaze while trying to figure these out, forgetting to answer Tsunami. There surely was something strange going on. I need just a little more information to figure it out.

Tsunami wondered about my strange behavior and asked, “What’s wrong with her?”  

The four managers glanced at each other and nodded. I then heard Fuyuka’s voice replying, “It’s the typical.”

I raised my head at the comment and looked at Tsunami. He mumbled something, seeming as if he understood what she had implied. I guess he did, but why was it that I absolutely no idea what was going on? Moreover, why was I the only one who was uninformed?

I was about to ask a question, when a sudden phone call interrupted me. Without a second delay, Endou came running from my room while carrying a phone. “It’s for you.” He said happily. Well, it was my phone so who else it could be for? You?

I smiled to Endou as a reply and took the phone. As I saw the name of the caller a wide smile appeared on my face. The name of my best friend was written on the screen. I immediately picked up the call.

“Why hello, Darling!~” I answered the call with a playful tone.

“Hello, Honey.” She replied and seconds later we both burst into laughter.

I guess even in this world (or whatever you call it) we had this tendency to call each other by those names. It was a game of ours, I mean in Jr. High we even claimed that we were married (in a joking manner of course). She was the person I was most comfortable around and random with, which is why we joked around about being married. Not everyone around us understood it, but as long as we got the jokes, it was enough.    

“So, I called you because you won’t believe what just happened.” I heard Jami’s voice saying. Her real name is Misa Akarui, but she prefers to be called by that nickname. I got so used to that name over the years, that I tend to forget what her real name is.

Anyway, I was curiously waiting for her to explain the matter to me, when the doorbell rang. What a nice interruption, do they not want me to hear the rest of it? I wonder who exactly was bothering me at this hour.

“Can you wait a little, please? I need to open the door.” I questioned and Jami said okay. Don’t look how this people had like a dozen of people swarming in it. As the fact remained, I was still the owner of this house so it was only natural for me to be the one to open the door. There’s no way I could let my guests to do it. (Are they even my guests, I wonder?).

I rushed to open the door before anyone else – Endou was already heading there, but luckily, I was faster. As the door opened, I saw Tachimukai standing before me. His cheeks were burning red and he was completely covered in snow. It was a winter after all, and apparently today the snow fall had been rather heavy.

Tachimukai shook off the snow and spoke, “Let’s go for a ride. I have a motorbike.”

Such an innocent comment, I froze completely. His enthusiasm surely was adorable, but he had to be aware that you couldn’t ride a motorbike in winter. There was the issue of his age, also. My eyes soon caught a glimpse of something black being parked in our front yard.    

“Tachi-kun.” I said. I wonder why I called him like that, though. It feels so weird!

“Yes?” The boy flashed that innocent expression of his, and I felt anger building up inside me.  

“You know, that’s not a motorbike… it’s a bike…” My sentence faded into air as I shivered from cold. After all, I was standing at the front door in this winter frost while wearing only my pajamas. I felt the cold slowly affecting every part of me.

Tachimukai turned to look at the black bike. The bike, I had recognized it to be MY bike. After that, he turned his head back and grinned.

“Don’t sweat the details! Bike of motorbike… there’s not much of a difference.” The boy laughed.

I wanted to cry blood. The difference is the same as with cats and dogs. Of course I would sweat the details!  

Being unable to face Tachimukai anymore, I escaped by picking up the phone. “You still there?” I asked and heard Jami’s affirmative reply. After that, I continued, “Can you believe, Tachimukai came and asked me to go on a ride with him… on a bicycle.”

There was a silence on the other side of the phone. I then heard a long and frustrated sigh. “He asked me exactly the same thing.” Jami finally admitted and I felt like crying. So, he had been to her house as well. Did he want to go on a ride that badly?

“Whatsoever the case, have fun on your date!” My friend announced enthusiastically (what sounded kind of forced, though). I almost coughed blood. What did she mean by a date!? Why did I have to go while she did not? Was she ditching me?

I had things to do!!

“IT’S NOT A DATE!” I shouted at the phone, but soon realized that she had already hanged up on me. My best friend had decided to ditch me. I wonder what was the prize. Did she do it for anime, money or music? Maybe they bribed her with console games. You never know when it comes to her.

A sigh escaped from my lips as I put the phone to my pocket. After that, I resonating sneeze brought me back to reality and I realized I was freezing. I glanced at Tachimukai, who was still waiting by the door.

“Well?” His eyes shined of innocence and enthusiasm. He seemed so eager to take me on this ride. Was this a new method of training? I mean, a human weight is… my weight is… Never mind. I did not just think about it.

Forget, forget that all. Forget I ever mentioned it.

Another sigh. I wonder what the count was? “Fine.” My defenses finally fell and Tachimukai claimed victory. I had nowhere to escape, so I decided to stick around with him.

I breathed into my hands, warming them up as we rode on the bicycle. It was midwinter and the frosts seemed to be the coldest ones yet. The light brown-haired boy took me to the center of the town, which – as much as I recognized – was the town where I LIVED.

Also, I don’t know where Tachimukai had found it, but he was dragging a big truck tire behind the back. I kind of wanted to try sitting on the tire, but my pride wouldn’t allow it. Maybe someday…

The heart of my little town consisted of three buildings – two markets across the streets and a bank. There also was a small town-square located nearby one of the markets, while a bus stop was just across the street of the other market. You needed to go further from the shops to reach the churches.

“Which market do you want the ingredients from?” Tachimukai asked, and I stopped admiring this little town I lived in. It was quiet, not a single soul seemed to be out in the frost. Were we the only insane enough to actually go out?

“Ah, how about we go to K-market?” I said, and pointed at the market that was located next to the bank. Yes, our supposed date was actually a mission to fetch some ingredients the managers needed. Aki had sent us off with a grinning smile and a long shopping list.

Tachimukai seemed to be slightly off breath, so I could only see him nod as an answer. He stopped by the market and I got off the bike. I was just about to enter the market when a noticed a familiar figure standing on the bus stop just across the street.

“Fubu… ki?” I questioned aloud. Leaving the shopping to Tachimukai, I headed to the other side of the street. I repeated the boy’s name once again, and this time he seemed to react to his name being called. My jaw dropped.

His pale face even more paler than usually and he shivered non-stop. His whole complexion was a mess and the boy seemed so small. Was this really that Fubuki Shirou?    

“Oh, Sa-ku-san.” The boy stuttered, failing his greeting as the cold took over him.

“What are you doing, idiot!? You’re going to freeze up like this!” My maternal instinct awakened and I scolded the boy. Without any second thought, I took of my quilted jacket.

“Here, take this.” I said as I reached my jacket towards the freezing grey-haired boy.

“Are you going to be alright?” Fubuki doubted for a moment, questioning my sanity.

I smiled and forced the stuff into his hands. I assured him I would be just fine because I still had my woolly hat, grey mittens and long scarf on me. He looked unconvinced, but Fubuki finally put the black guilted jacket on. To tell the truth, it belonged to my father, but I was using it, because seemed satisfied with his old ones.

It’s such a nice thing to receive jackets as a Christmas presents from your work.

Seeing as the boy finally had some proper clothes, I was satisfied. The jacket was like a huge bag on him. It was too big for me and I was almost a half head taller than Fubuki after all.

My satisfaction didn’t last for a very longtime, though. Suddenly, my teeth started to chatter. Well, it was called for. After all, it was -30 degrees and I was only wearing a pullover.  

“There you are, Saku-san!” Unexpectedly, Tachimukai’s voice called for me. Woah, that was fast! Had he really managed to find all the ingredients on the list in this short time? I turned around and saw the boy coming together with three girls.

“Long time to see!” One of the girls greeted me enthusiastically. She had her hair tied up on a ponytail and her eyes were green in color. The girl was wearing a red hoodie and white scarf. To be honest, I was amazed that she managed to survive in this coldness. Then again, not all people are soft to cold, like me.

The girl next to her was almost identical in appearance. Likewise, her hair was red in color and reached till her midback. Her eyes were gray blue. Along with the eye-color, the most disjunctive matter was that this girl was wearing glasses. Her hoodie was blue and under it she wore a white thigh-length turtle neck that had black buttons lined down in a row on the right side. Also, she wore sport shoes and black tights.

I got goosebumps all over my body as I stared at her… yet another person who stands cold better than me.  

The last girl, who was shortest one of the three, looked no older than an elementary school student. Her red (wait, all three had red hair?) was styled in a bob-cut with her bangs covering her left eye. Her hair had blonde highlights and she had slightly tanned skin. The girl was wearing grey shirt, dark jeans and a black jacket with a hood that was tied around her waist. Her red high heels were 3 inches.

Geez… another one here too… Did these people not know how to dress properly?

I glanced at the girls and realized that they were all holding onto plastic bags. They must’ve helped Tachimukai with the shopping. I then looked up and confusion rose on my face.

“Who are you?” escaped from my lips.  

The first girl fell down in anime style while the two others facepalmed.  

“I’m Ou Matsurei. And I’m your friend. How can you not remember us?” The first girl introduced herself and then asked. I couldn’t really answer to her question as I had no idea who they were.

“Chin Matsurei… that Always-so-hyped-girls’ twin sister. You’re the same as always Orange-headband-stupid-smiles-totally-airhead-girlfriend.” The second girl said and I sweat dropped. The two of them looked identical because they were twin sisters. But man, she surely had strange and LONG nicknames for people…

Who is Orange-headband-stupid-smile? Could that be… Endou…?  

I sighed. I had no idea how, but even these people I had just met knew that I was Endou’s girlfriend. This world was so strange!

“Axelle A…” I barely heard the last introduction. The girl just mumbled between her breath. I was most amazed how shortly she could introduce herself. I had taken me three lines to introduce myself and she did it in… 1/10 lines.

I was later told that the twins were 13 years old while Axelle was 11. I had been right about, she was in elementary school. She looked the age.  

I was still trying to comprehend everything I had heard, when Matsurei spoke. “Do you really not remember us?” She asked and I nodded immediately as an answer. The girl sighed and shook her head.

“This is really the usual I-do-not-remember-you…” Suginei suddenly commented and Axelle kept nodding her head while looking slightly absent.

What did she mean by the USUAL?

“And as always, she’s the only one who doesn’t…” Matsurei sighed, but the end of sentence got cut off as a long white limousine drove next to us.

The last window slid down and we all saw a red-haired boy wearing sunglasses and smiling at us. “Yo, everyone. Are you cold? Do you want a ride?” The boy smiled as while taking off his glasses revealing his green-colored eyes.

“Hiroto…” I heard Fubuki and Tachimukai in unison while the others remained silent.

Hiroto?

I turned to look at the boy and burst into laughter. This boy… Was he really Hiroto? I would’ve never thought that he owned a limousine. Only when the pigs fly! “A flying Hiroto…” with the earlier saying, I suddenly remembered an inside joke of Jami’s and me. I chuckled upon imagining multiple flying Hiroto’s.

A sudden itchy feeling was caught in my nose, and I sneezed before I knew it. “ATCHOO!”

As if he’s been summoned by my sneeze, Hiroto turned to me and smiled. He opened the door of limousine and stepped out. “Looks like someone is getting cold already. Would you like to come in?” He asked while a freaky smirk appeared on his face. I sniffed loudly as my nose kept running.

I stared at his green eyes and a smile appeared on my face, “A flying Hiroto…” I chucked for the second time. Finally, I reached to take his hand.

“WATCH OUT!” Unexpectedly, a voice yelled.

I could only see a faint figure of a snow-white-haired girl and a brown-haired boy on a bike before everything around me turned black.  

~ TSU-ZU-KU~

Return to TOC  Go to Chapter 2

[glasgowgirl92-blog]

Like We’ve Never Had a Broken Heart

Hello!

So, this is my first fic I’ve written in a while - and my first ever for Chicago PD! Please be gentle, but I adore constructive criticism, so feel free to leave whatever comments, or message me. 

This wouldn’t leave me alone until I wrote it; it’s based off of a song called “Like We’ve Never Had a Broken Heart” by Tricia Yearwood and gave me all kinds of feels. I needed to write this before any of my actual, full on Linstead fics would let me write them, even though I’m more nervous about posting them due to the calibre of writers in this Fandom. 

Anyway, enough waffling! To the fic!

Like we’ve never had a broken heart.

“You sure it’s a good move?” Al’s usual quiet voice was even quieter in the space of Hank’s office as he sat across the desk from him, both nursing a glass of amber liquid. It was well after everyone else had left; well, everyone else except for Detectives Jay Halstead and Ella Jude Jones, the latter had joined the unit on loan after Erin had taken the job in New York.

“Least I won’t have to worry about in-house romance.” Hank’s voice was gruff, a hint of humour there with a trace of sadness. It had been hard for everyone watching Erin go, but it was harder to watch Jay stay. It was rough on the older man and the rest of the unit to watch him be first in and last out, to take all of the overtime going. His boyish smile never quite reaches his eyes anymore and his gaze never once faltered from the computer monitor or the board; wherein they once flickered between whatever he was doing and her desk.

Ruzek sat there now. Burgess had made herself at home at his desk; so, he’d settled in the vacant desk. The only time Halstead’s eyes flicked over to the desk to see Adam sitting there, he’d wandered into the break room with the file and a pen and hadn’t surfaced for an hour.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Plus, she’s damn good police.” Al conceded. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He nodded at Voight and stood, draining his glass and making his way to the door, smiling softly at each of the remaining people in the bullpen as he made his way out.

“Jones.” Hank called, he didn’t have to raise his voice any level, not really, the silence coming from the bullpen was deafening, but it was also an unusual kind of silence; comfortable and comforting. Within a minute the young woman was leaning against his doorframe; a questioning look on her face, nodding once when Hank indicated for her to sit down.

He pushed the manila folder towards her and waited while she gave him a quizzical look before reaching out a well-manicured hand to pick up the file and leaf through the pages, a perfectly arched eyebrow was raised within seconds of her realising what it was. Her green eyes were filled with questions and she swallowed before licking her lips, eventually meeting his gaze.

“Sir,” the Chicago native’s soft voice punctured the thickening silence. “Are you sure?”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t. You earned your stripes.” Hank reached for the glass that had been discarded by Al and held it up, grinning when the woman nodded, tucking a strand of auburn hair behind her ear, the thank you when he handed her the glass was almost whispered and he found himself smirking. Out in the field, he’d found, she was loud and brash and fitted right into intelligence, but she also carried a quiet strength with her, a vulnerability that had helped when they needed time sensitive information from the victims.

“Halstead, get in here.” Voight’s voice carried the firm authority, and within seconds the younger man was in the doorway. “I said in.” Hank almost chuckled, reaching into the bottom drawer for another glass, pouring it and handing it to him.

“We celebrating?” he asked, perching on the desk, clear blue eyes moving between the two people.

“Makin’ it official.” Hank shrugged, reclining in his chair as Jay smiled, noticing it came a little easier for the first time in months.

“Nice job,” Jay had turned his attention to the woman sitting quietly, cradling the glass.

“Thanks. I haven’t actually said I’d take it.” She fought the grin, her full lips slightly turned up at the corner, the neutral colour standing out against her alabaster skin. She looked more model than cop, it had worked for her in narcotics when it came to stings, but on a male oriented force, she’d fought to earn her stripes.

“It’s a formality at this point.” Hank stated, rolling a pen across the desk. “just needs to be signed.”

“Walking away from narcotics is a big step.” Jay shrugged, “You don’t have to do it.”

The air was thick again, heavy with the weight of unsaid truths and Jay held a hand up in way of apology, sinking the whiskey in one go.

“Yeah, I think I do.” Jones spoke again, reaching for the pen and signing the relevant pages.

“Well, looks like we need into that ball,” Burgess pointed out, earning sighs and groans from everyone in the room.

“I hate those things, they’re so stuffy and formal.” Ella-Jude Jones sighed and ran a hand through her unruly auburn curls, it took seconds for her to realize her mistake and drop her gaze to the floor, feeling all eyes in the room land on her.

“Do you make a habit of going to these things?” Ruzek asked, causing her to look up again.

“I attend around 2 a year now. I used to go to more,” she shrugged, “I’m waiting for the poor little rich girl comments again, I can take it.” She half joked.

“Can you get us in?” Antonio asked, hands on his hips.

“I can get you in sure, security, catering. There’s no way I can get in there, though.” She added with a shrug. “Too many people know me.”

“I sometimes forget you’re the senator’s kid. You’re so normal.” Burgess confessed, earning a few muttered comments and often shared jokes from the others.

“No, I think you should go in.” Hank spoke up over the noise. “We need eyes, we need witnesses, we need something concrete or this guy is gonna walk.”

“You want me in there as a guest? You want me to walk in there in full view of everyone and just start asking questions about missing girls?” Ella-Jude looked horrified at the prospect, her green eyes large in her face.

“Well, I was more thinking you and a plus one and maybe not being so obvious about it.” Hank shrugged again. “You have less than 6 hours.”

“Looks like I’m up,” Attwater stood and grinned, “Gotta go get my suit an tie on.”

“Slow down,” Al held his hands up, “You’re going in there, but not as EJ’s plus one. We’ll still need you to get us in other ways.” He said slowly, deliberately, looking over to the woman who was standing and gathering some things.

“Sure, I’ll make some calls and get back to you, I need to find me a dress.” She stated, pulling her leather jacket on and waiting for the nod from Voight before she holstered her weapon.

“We meet back here in four hours to finalize the plan.” Hank called after her as she waved him off, heading down the stairs.

It had been a while since she’d done this; the hair and the make-up, the gown. The scene wasn’t her, not anymore. Not since…Ella sighed out a breath as she exited the cab at the roll up, smiling at Dawson who looked smart in his suit as he opened the door for her and held out his hand to help her out. He was security. The ID badge on his top pocket and the earpiece already inserted in his ear.

“You look—“Dawson had started to say before another crude comment interrupted him, causing Ella to throw her head back in laughter and add an extra sway into her hips as she made her way into the room where the rest of the unit were gathered around the table, holding her arms out and doing a little turn.

“Well, will I do?” She asked, a chuckle still on her red painted lips. Her curls had been swept to one side, red form fitting gown with just a hint of sparkle clinging to her curves, a deep plunging neckline and a thigh high split leaving very little to the imagination.  

“I jus gotta know where you weapon is.” Attwater asked, looking just as smart in the suit that matched Antonio’s, his ID badge also clipped onto the pocket, ear piece already in place.

“Many men have tried and failed to get an answer to that question.” She winked at him, causing everyone else to laugh and joke as he exhaled loudly, muttering about women and cold showers. It was only then that she realized there was a member missing, only then did she realize that around the table were doormen, security, catering staff, even Al had a uniform on, Cloakroom attendant. But her plus one was missing.

The he walked in.

The same cocky swagger that he’d had since she first laid eyes on him, same kind of ownership of every and any room he walked into and she couldn’t help but stare at just how good he looked in a tux. She’d seen him in suits before, but never like this. He joined them at the table and she could hear her heart hammering in her head as she looked him over, managing to make a fly away comment about how he’d just have to do and needs must. His grin was enough to deflect the attention back to the task at hand and the plan. But it wasn’t clear blue eyes and freckles that had her breathless, for a second his shoulders were wider, eyes were a deep brown and his hair was long and floppy.

Ella distracted herself by looking down at the floor plans, willing her knees not to give out and the darkness not to engulf her. It was just a charity gala. It was fine. They’d be in and out in a few hours maximum and she could go home and get into her sweats.

Jay had gotten downstairs right as Ella had been getting out of the cab and it had stopped him in his tracks. He’d never seen her in anything other than the jeans and shirts she wore; polished and put together but still unwaveringly cop-casual and practical. She’d been the breath of fresh air the unit had needed since… he shook his head. He’d been doing better lately. He’d found putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward was becoming slightly easier now that he was six months deep into the routine. Even Voight had stopped asking if he was good. Everyone had just gotten into their own little ways of moving forward and he had had to accept that.

It had taken her almost a month to text him after she’d left; something about the Hawkes game and it had left him breathless and awake the whole night; something innocent. It took him days to recover from that and the subsequent conversation and while he was happy to know she was good and happy, it burned him in ways he thought he’d been healing from. All he’d ever wanted was for her to be happy, he’d left so he wouldn’t hurt her anymore but in the end, it had led to him getting the short end of the stick and feeling raw, broken and raw, months later.

Which is why he’d taken a minute when he saw Ella; she was the epitome of beauty and elegance and he knew she’d be the one in the room that caught all the attention, a small slither of pride making its way through the pain of having a woman like her on his arm, even if it was only for tonight. He shook his head at the thought. You can’t put a band aid on a bullet hole and expect it to hold.  

As he walked into the room and felt those green eyes on him, wishing they were hazel the only source of comfort he could take in that moment was he’d finally found someone who understood what he was feeling; someone who never asked how he felt, nor judged when he stayed a little later in the bullpen or wandered off at Molly’s when things got loud. Someone who appreciated the silences in the car, who never questioned his need to drive and who ultimately had his back without knowing the full story.

He’d done the same for her, recognized the same shadows and sadness in her eyes as he undoubtedly had in his. It seemed to go deeper for her; though, and one day he’d ask but today was not the day and tonight was not the night.

“So, room 304 has been booked for you two, plenty of space for you both. The luggage you’re taking in is a lot of listening equipment, however, we’ll spell stake out duties.” Dawson explained, piercing Jay’s thoughts. “Real simple, dinner, auction, dancing, then back to the room.”

“We won’t be tuned in?” Jay asked, looking around the various bits and pieces on the desk; the different bugs and then back up to the look shared by Hank and Al.

“No, it’ll blow your cover. Ella is going in as herself, Jay. We can’t have anyone thinking she’s actually working that room. We’ll be around, we’ll get to you if we need to. But you’re on your own in there.” Al explained softly, looking between the two detectives in question. Jay noticed the apprehension on her face and reached over, nudging her, the heat of her skin searing through his hand. She obviously felt it, too. The shadows darkening in her eyes, a sigh parting her lips before she covered it up quickly, batting her eyelashes at him.

“My hero.” She sighed again, feigning a faint, causing a few chuckles.

“Gear up,” Voight announced with a slap on Jay’s shoulder, creating a flurry of activity.  

Ella had not missed this. This pretentious chatter, discussing her father’s office and her brother’s career overseas in Afghanistan. She talked about doing desk work in the district, talked about how boring administration was. She’d made small talk all the way through dinner, noticing just how charming Jay could be. They’d long been given the signal that every bug had been planted and they could bail at any time, but somehow she found herself staying put. Dinner and the auction was over and as much as she hated the small talk, she’d enjoyed the company immensely. Jay was brilliant and witty. He was sharp, but also strong and reserved and it hadn’t gone unnoticed by other women in the room.

She licked her lips as she tried to focus on what the business man in front of her was saying, but Jay’s hand was warm at the base of her spine and while she was aware that it hadn’t been that long since she’d had a man’s hand on her bare skin, it was a distraction. Her thoughts began to distance her from the conversation and the man on her left who was now carrying this conversation. She couldn’t help but think of the cookout on the fourth of July, some of the units had gotten together and it had been loud and fun and fantastic. He’d been there. It had been his hands on her skin and not Jay’s and it wasn’t until she felt Jay’s hand cup her hip did she realize that she was miles and miles away and her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears.

“Would you excuse us, sir?” Jay’s voice was respectful as he interrupted the man, “But this song is, you know, our song and I’d really like to get her on the floor for this.” He hadn’t even waited for an answer before Ella felt herself being led away from the man, onto the middle of the floor and into the embrace of strong arms. She was closer than she’d like to be, but in that moment, it was apparent that she was closer than either of them wanted to be, or needed to be.

She had so many things she had wanted to say as they swayed to the music, but she settled on saying nothing and allowing herself to be moved by him; to be pulled into his orbit, to allow him to give her that out, that maybe this was a different time and a different place and he wasn’t Jay and she wasn’t Ella and this wasn’t some ridiculously elaborate plan at catching a killer.

She had been close to hyperventilating when he’d stopped her talking to the head of some dumb corporation; he’d noticed the same reactions in himself from a long time ago, the same way he’d react when things got a little close for comfort or he’d have a nightmare. He did what he had to do to get her out of the situation but only now, holding her this close, in the middle of the floor, swaying to a Sinatra number, did his idea seem like a bad one.

They were surrounded by the who’s who of Chicago, Ella’s own parents were somewhere in the room, not to mention their entire unit watching them take this unprecedented move. There was no need for them to be where they were, but it felt like the right thing to do in the moment and even if she was a little taller, a little softer, a little more polished than the woman he wanted, part of Jay had to admit how nice it was to be holding someone this close.

She smelled like vanilla and peppermint, her head didn’t quite fit under his chin like hers did, but it was a welcome weight against his shoulder, her breath warm against his neck before she turned her head to look out at the room. Her grip on his hand was confident, practised, same with the way her hand rested on his shoulder. This was something she was used to; her steps were perfect and graceful but there was something missing. She had the rhythm but not his rhythm and while it worked, it wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t home. It wasn’t Erin.

The sound of her name in his head had him gripping onto EJ tighter, causing her to raise her head, Jay’s ocean blue gaze meeting her forest green one, the same desperation, same pain shining back at him. He wasn’t the only one feeling this tidal wave of grief, of loss. He wasn’t the only one who needed the routine to keep him moving forward.

He didn’t know her full story, only that the space that Rixton took on Narcotics wasn’t a voluntary post, wasn’t a post that was vacated through choice. All Jay knew was the woman in his arms had jumped at the chance to leave narcotics and join Intelligence the second she was asked. She ran from the post with the same speed Jay had started running at in the mornings, especially when it came to running past her apartment.

He could barely breathe as he looked at her; the heartbreak etched on every single one of her perfect features and Jay knew if he let his guard down any further, she’d see the same on his. Or maybe she already could, because there was a sad smile on her lips and he was leaning in to meet her as she tilted her head up.

There was an understanding, then. A moment between them. A clarity that neither had felt in months. She wasn’t Erin. She never would be, but as their lips touched, it didn’t matter in that moment. Nothing else did. Not what had happened in the past, not what would happen in the future but what was happening in that moment and how comforted he felt in that moment. 

The kiss was nothing more than an innocent brush of lips, her hand moved from his shoulder to his neck, gently tracing his jaw as they pressed their lips together, two broken people caught up in a moment of relief. Ella knew this wasn’t the best idea; the last time she had had the bright idea of kissing her partner on an undercover sting to not draw attention had left her in this position. The hot sting of tears pressed at her eyelids, desperate for release, but she focused on the softness of his lips against his, the way he angled his head, the feel of his hand gently caressing her skin on her back.

He wasn’t Jack. He never would be, but as Jay pulled back and rested his forehead against hers, she knew that it was okay. This didn’t have to be perfect; it didn’t have to be real. It just was. She knew about Erin, knew about her and Jay being something special. Knew she’d left. But that was it; she didn’t need to know more, didn’t really want to know more than that. It was none of her business.

Jay’s breathing was somewhat ragged on her lips as she opened her eyes and smiled softly as she watched how his eyelashes were fanned across his freckled cheeks. Ella rested both hands on his jaw, caressing his cheeks to silently ask him to open his eyes and look at her. She barely managed to conceal the gasp of shock at the sheer amount of pain seen in his eyes, the shadows dancing behind them. She smiled softly, eventually finding her voice.

“Thank you.” She whispered, allowing herself to pretend that when he pulled her closer he was someone else, knowing that he was also doing the same.

“You’re welcome,” his voice was rough, laced with something she couldn’t pinpoint and she smiled again, the song slowly coming to an end and blending into another one and his grip didn’t lessen, and neither did hers; neither one of them willing to be the first one to break the spell, to let go.

Ella knew, deep down, they had to break whatever spell was weaving, but this was the first time she’d felt something other than sadness or anger in a long time and she would hold onto that for as long as possible. Jay? He seemed just as content to hold onto her and occasionally press his lips against hers or against her temple as one song melted into two, which melted into three.

They were both just two lonely souls, swimming against the same current, fighting the same demons, pretending like neither one had had a broken heart.

[flauntpage]

If Philadelphia Sports Figures were Game of Thrones Characters

(Caution: this post contains spoilers, so if you aren’t caught up on GOT, you’ve got less than 72 hours to binge)

  Ah yes.

Fire and blood. Incest and dragons and whatnot.

Game of Thrones returns this weekend.

I’ll be 100% honest with you; I’m not as hyped as I thought I would be. Maybe the two-year break dulled my senses, or maybe some of the story arcs lost me when the show writers moved past George R.R. Martin’s book material. It took Arya Stark five seasons to cross the sea, for example, then she came back and started killing everybody in five seconds, with laughable ease.

It felt like some plot lines were taking forever to develop, then they put the characters in a DeLorean time machine and stuffed four years worth of material into one season, like a high fantasy burrito. We had to endure the Sand Snakes and redundant Ramsey Bolton behavior along the way. Every sadistic move delivered diminishing returns, in my opinion.

But I’m still ready to roll. Jon and Daenerys are on the same side. Cersei can’t be trusted. The Hound is still out there, ready to eat every chicken in Westeros.

Here’s how we imagined Philadelphia sports figures as GOT characters:

Markelle Fultz as Jaime Lannister

Both were excellent at their craft, then they suffered arm issues and were never the same.

What role will they play in 2019?

-Kinkead

any Sixers 1st round draft pick as Bran Stark

We see great things in their future, then they get hurt, can’t use their legs, and just watch things happen.

-Coggin

Domonic Brown as Brother Ray

Big Ian McShane fan right here, dating back to his days on the criminally underrated Deadwood.

Similar to Dom Brown, I had high hopes for Brother Ray, but then he was killed off after something like three scenes and that was pretty much it.

-Kinkead

Kendall Jenner as Cersei Lannister

They are the queens, whether we want to accept it or not.

-Kinkead, h/t Investor Jeff

Howie Roseman as Jon Snow

Both were forsaken/murdered by their own men, but found their way back to the top. Jon became Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch and Lord of Winterfell. Howie Roseman reclaimed his general manager gig and constructed the team that won Philadelphia its first Super Bowl. Take that, Chip Kelly and Olly.

-Kinkead

Sam Hinkie as Ned Stark

Both men tried to steer the kingdom in the right direction.

Then they were betrayed from within and replaced with puppet leaders.

-Kinkead

Anti-Hinkie people as the Sons of the Harpy

They just did not like how the new leader was doing things. They preferred the old methods.

-Kinkead

(photo credit: HBO)

Eagles fans as the Dothraki

Uncouth barbarian hordes who throw batteries, boo injured players, and mistreat North Dakota radio hosts. They make crude jokes and show a lack of patience.

-Kinkead

Flyers fans as the Wildlings

We have to guard our borders from these Delaware County savages.

-Kinkead

Boban Marjanovic as Wun Wun the Giant

A couple of fan-favorite front court players. One can dunk without leaving the ground and the other smashed down Winterfell’s gate to end The Battle of the Bastards.

-Kinkead

Gritty as Tormund Giantsbane

Two more fan-favorite characters with great personalities and orange hair.

-Kinkead

(photo credit: USA Today Sports/HBO)

The Eagles’ offensive line as Hodor

Protecting the more vulnerable folks out there, whether they’re quarterbacks or omniscient cripples.

-Kinkead

Dario Saric as Khal Drogo

You might’ve thought, “Hmm… Dario Saric… Daario Naharis?” No, you fool. Dario Saric, just like Khal Drogo, is a revered and feared warrior from another continent who is never going to cross the sea. If he did, he’d likely get attacked by warriors with better lateral quickness.

-Russ

Phil Martelli as Ser Barristan Selmy

He served admirably for many years, then he was ousted by his superiors and didn’t take it very well.

-Kinkead

Andrew Bynum as the entire Dorne storyline

Just two terrible experiences overall.

-Kinkead

(photo credit: Sixers/HBO)

T.J. McConnell as Tyrion Lannister

Full disclosure: I have only watched two scenes from this entire show’s run. I watched the Red Wedding. And I watched the Viper get killed by the Mountain for no good reason. Anyway, this comparison is a little bit on the nose, but so what? TJ is kind of a mascot on the Sixers and in the NBA. He’s not really good enough to be in the league, but no one has told him to go away, so here he is. That’s sort of where we are with Peter Dinklage’s character. What can he really do among all this gore and violence and evil? For obvious physical reasons, he’s not much use. Because I don’t watch the show, I don’t care what happens to Tyrion Lannister. But I imagine TJ will be out of the league soon, and if that’s what happens to Tyrion on GOT, that’s fine with me.

-Phil

Andy Reid as Mance Rayder

Well liked by their followers, they were so close to getting the job done. They just couldn’t get over the hump and their lieutenants took over instead.

-Kinkead

El Wingador as The Hound

They will eat every fucking chicken in here.

-Kinkead

CrossingBroad.com as The Citadel

Endless sources of knowledge, wisdom, and sometimes satire.

-Kinkead

Chip Kelly as Euron Greyjoy

Chip Kelly came from a land that was mocked and looked down upon in NFL circles. He ran a gimmicky offense while crowning himself with a cute visor while chasing a duck. He looked like a fool. However, upon entering the NFL, his team began to take the league by storm.

“Build me a thousand ships and I shall give you the world!”

Then, much like Euron’s GQ model entrance to season 7, Chip arrived boldly, having cast aside his enemy Howie Roseman, practically cut out the tongues of his players (no one could criticize him), hunted down DeSean Jackson and Shady McCoy, handed them over to be locked in the Washington and Buffalo dungeons and watch one another decompose. Also like Euron in Season 7, when confronted with the reality that his players hated him and the league had learned his system, he fled.

-Russ

Alshon Jeffery as Daario Naharis

Both sell swords brought in to teams on the rise but not at their peaks on “prove it” deals. Alshon proved it in the playoffs and the Super Bowl while playing with a torn rotator cuff, Daario proved it by killing all of his colleagues for the Mother of Dragons.

Same thing.

-Coggin

DeSean Jackson as Jorah Mormont

They never asked to leave. They were exiled, then returned.

-somebody in Slack, can’t recall

Ray Didinger as Ser Davos Seaworth, the Onion Night

I haven’t found a person who dislikes either of these guys.

-Kinkead

(via NBC Sports Philadelphia/HBO)

Ben Simmons as Grey Worm

Neither has a lot to say. They’re more about action than words. And they’re dating high profile women in Kendall Jenner and Missandei.

-Kinkead

Angelo Cataldi as Lord Petyr Baelish, aka Littlefinger

They created legions of followers just by saying a bunch of shit. Everybody else can see through the mirage, but you begrudgingly tip your hat to their expertise in the art of self-preservation.

-Kinkead

Howard Eskin as Lord Varys

Both worked their way up from the bottom to hold court with some big names. No one is really sure what they do exactly at this point, what their end game is, or why anyone trusts them. Varys and Eskin both make bold fashion statements even though neither has the balls to back them.

-Craig

Bryan Colangelo as Jaqen H’ghar, The Faceless Man

You just didn’t know if you could trust him.

-someone in Slack

Barbara Bottini as The Waif

Minor female characters who ended up becoming universally disliked. Both just had a huge chip on their shoulder, for whatever reason.

-Kinkead

Dallas Cowboy fans who live in this region as King Joffrey

Just totally repulsive and vile. Ridiculous individuals with no redeeming qualities.

-Kinkead

Jason Peters as Beric Dondarrion

Every time you think he’s dead, he returns to life.

-Kinkead

Mo’Ne Davis as Lyanna Mormont of Bear Island

Small but formidable, these ladies came out of nowhere to become popular figures.

-Kinkead

Nick Foles as Podrick Payne

A couple of crowd favorites with legendary private parts.

-Kinkead/Coggin

Agent Raymond Brothers as Mirri Maz Duur

Both suggested alternative medical treatments for their respective clients.

-Kinkead

Bronn as Bryce Harper

A sell sword who used to be a bad guy. Then we ended up becoming the highest bidder, so he’s one of ours and everybody loves him.

-Kinkead

The Phillie Phanatic as the Night King

No one knows who or what they really are.

-Kinkead

Any member of the 1993 Phillies as King Robert Baratheon

A lot of drinking and whoring going on here. *Allegedly.*

-Kinkead

Carli Lloyd as Daenerys Targaryen

A world cup winner and a possible world conqueror.

-Kinkead

Elena Delle Donne as Brienne of Tarth

A couple of tall blondes who have found much success in their respective crafts.

-Kinkead

Jerry Colangelo as Olenna Tyrell

Tried to insert her less than bright relative into a position of power and it got everyone killed.

-someone in Slack

(photo credit: USA Today Sports/HBO)

That’s it. That’s the story. Thanks for reading.

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