#[imagine me being able to contain my rambling]

[sunarc]

Dilf Toji fucks you nice and slow when you’re done putting Megumi down for bed. He wants to thank you for being so good to him and his son. As a single dad it gets hard so when you came into the picture offering your services it was hard to deny such a genuine offer. You’re so good to Megumi, gentle, kind and patient. Toji can’t help the growing bulge in his pants when he sees you being such a strong mother figure. He has to show you his gratitude. The best way he can do that is by having you in a mating press so he can fuck you nice and deep. 

“You like that?” his voice is a soft hum. 

You feel dizzy. His cock feels so deep. He’s stretching you out more than ever before. You call out his name in a soft whimper.

“Yeah? I’m right here doll don't worry I’m not going anywhere” he groans.

Toji’s obsessed with the way you look taking his cock. Your hole looks so perfect clenching, barely able to fit all of him. You look so full, Toji can’t help but imagine how full you would look with his cum drooling out of you. He has to see it. He’s determined to fuck you full of his cum. His cock plunges in and out of you creating a pattern. Your moans fall past your lips making a tune Toji never wants to forget. 

“That’s it, good girl, say my name” you sound so pretty to him. “Tell me who fucks you this good, say it , tell me no one can make you shake like this, no one can fill this pussy up the way i can”

He’s never felt himself lose control like this before. There’s something about you, something that leaves him desperate for more. He craves you, desires you every waking second. The way your lips part letting pleads and moans drip off your tongue has him losing his mind. He can’t get enough of you. He knows he should be quiet but the way your cunt feels squeezing him so tight he thinks he just might lose his mind. “That feel good baby? Yeah I know” he coos “I’m gonna fuck you so full” his pace is picking up speed. 

His mind is practically blank thinking of how he wants to fill you to the brim with his cum. No that’s not enough he needs to give you every last drop he has. 

“You need my cum don’t you” he’s desperate to hear you say it. He’s practically begging to hear you asking for his cum. Tell him how much you want his babies. He can make you a mommy. Don’t you want him to make you a mommy?

“Our baby is gonna be so beautiful” he whispers. He isn’t sure if you can hear him but he doesn’t mind as long as you’re still losing your mind calling out his name. 

“That’s right” he growls “Say my name while I fuck a baby into you”

His hand push your thighs further down so he can reach deeper. The way he drags his cock past you slick walls has you shaking. Your words come out slurred. 

“It’s too big” you whine as he goes deeper

“No no you can take it.” he bites he lips continuing his long deep strokes. He knows you can take it. Your eyes roll back when he begins grinding his hips into you. He knows he’s hit the spot he’s been searching for. 

“There she is” he chuckles. 

You can barely contain the moans now. Your body is shaking uncontrollably. 

“Please” you gasp “S-slow down, I’m gonna make a mess” you cry.

Toji loves the sound of that. He thrust pick up speed, fucking into you even harder. 

“That’s it, just like that, make a mess on my cock.”

He’s desperately chasing after his own orgasm. He wants to cum with you. His thrust are sloppy. He’s moaning your name pleading for you to cum for him. 

“Cum-fuck Now” he demands. 

You can’t help the juices the splatter against his abs as he fucks his load into you. The two of you are a moaning mess. You ramble incoherent words paired with his name. His eyes are glued on the sticky mess between the two of you. The squelching sounds of his cock fucking his cum back in fill the room. 

“What a pretty sight this is. I hope it’s a girl” he moans “She’ll have your eyes” 

You can barely give him a reply to focused on the way his cock is still plunging in and out. 

“It’s too much” you slur.

“No baby it’s not enough” he groans “I gotta make sure this tummy is full of my cum. One more just one more okay”

Toji has plans on fucking way more than just one more load into you. He has to fuck you full until he’s sure of it you’ll be the one carrying Megumi’s little sister.

[l0velysmut]

can you write about inexperienced neteyam having sex for the first time and hes a whimpering moaning mess?

neteyam x fem!na’vi!reader

contains: poorly written short smut, aged up!neteyam, inexperienced neteyam, virginity loss, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie.

wc: 740 unedited

You and Neteyam lay in the mossy bed on the ground of the forest. The light was dim, and the breeze was chilling but both of your bodies were heated and needy so nothing about the environment around you mattered at that moment.

“Are you sure?” He stares at you, holding his cock in his hand and slowly dragging it up and down your slit before pressing it to your entrance when you nod your head.

“Use your words, sevin.” He says in a low voice.

“I’m sure. I want this, Neteyam. I want you. I need you.” Your words and the way they came out in such a desperate tone was enough to make him cum all over your pussy, but he tried to calm his breathing before slowly pushing the tip in because he didn’t want to embarrass himself.

He sighed out in pleasure as your cunt engulfs his tip, clenching around it. His eyes are closed as he leans down and presses his forehead to your shoulder, feeling your hands snake into his braids.

Your hips bucked against him in a way to tell him to push in deeper, and when he did, he could’ve sworn he was seeing stars. This new feeling was so overwhelming to the point where Neteyam was getting dizzy. His mind was baffled at how good this felt; he always imagined how you felt when he would jerk off to the thought of you, but the real thing is so much more then he was expecting.

“Oh my- Fuck…” He whimpers when he finally bottoms out, his ears falling flat against his head once he realizes how pathetic he must’ve sounded. You giggle softly, stroking his hair as you clench around him to stimulate him a bit.

He feels his cheeks get awfully hot and hides his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent deeply and not being able to lift himself off.

“You can move, Neteyam.” You tell him softly.

“I know, just.. Just give me a second. It’s- You- Shit. You just feel really fucking good.” He stutters out shakily. You could feel his cock twitch inside of you, making you hum in pleasure.

He inhaled your scent deeply before drawing his hips back then pushing back into you, his cock passionately submerged in your wet heat that sang out for him with each sloppy thrust.

You moaned and he lifted his head to look at you which was a mistake because the second he saw your face contorted with pleasure, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and his length spurted out long and thick streams of cum into you. He whined and whimpered into your skin, holding onto you for dear life as intense waves of euphoria crashed over him.

“Oh, great mother. Forgive me. I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ He began to ramble, but you grabbed his cheeks and kissed him on the lips. He melted into the kiss, pushing his body further against you which caused his cock to push further into you. You could feel his warm cum inside of you, and you clenched around him which made him moan into the kiss.

“It’s okay. It’s your first time; I was kinda expecting you to finish fast.” You tell him and he looks away in embarrassment, but you tilt his chin up to look at you. “If you’re able to handle it, maybe I could get on top and we could keep going?”

Your suggestion nearly made him cum inside you again, and he nodded quickly, cock twitching inside you. You smiled and flipped the two of you over, his calloused hands resting on the plush on your hips, squeezing as if telling you to move.

“If it’s too much, just tell me, okay?” You say, and he nods, mumbling a small ‘okay’ before you began to roll your hips.

He sighed out, wanting to savor this moment and live in it forever. He dreaded the moment you lifted yourself up and off of his cock, so he pushed you down onto him the best he could whilst supporting your hips to bounce up and down his length.

This was it. This was the feeling he’s been needing for so long. Something to take his mind off of all the responsibilities that stressed him out, something to use as a stress reliever. And, thank Eywa he had you now.

[berberriescorner]

"Through It All"

Characters: Rio x Black!Reader.

Summary: There aren’t many things that put Rio on edge. Most people see a calm, cool, and collected individual. Keeping a level head is his specialty. What happens when the person he loves most needs him to be strong for both of them? Get a glimpse of what it’s like seeing him hold someone down through thick and thin, in sickness and health. If you know, you know.

**PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS AND AUTHOR’S NOTE**

Warnings: Angst…like seriously. You’ll understand once you read the author’s note. This fic contains sweet, soft, fluffy Rio. The fic includes some of my crazy humor with a smidge of the character’s inner thoughts. If reading about gynecological procedures makes you uncomfortable, this may not be a fic for you. It doesn’t go into great detail, but it is mentioned and sheds a bit of light. If mentions of the ins and outs of fertility is a soft spot, please read with caution. It isn’t my intention to bring anyone down, but this story is based on parts of my own experiences. Again, the note will explain more.

Author/Personal Note: Okay. Where to start? So, as some of you may know throughout the past two years I’ve been getting cycles of iron infusions. This year, after making several complaints and an ER visit or two. I had an ultrasound performed, which led to me getting surgery months later (the procedure I had done recently). I’ve been spending my days at home recovering, and it’s given me time to reflect. Damn, it’s been a rough couple of years, but I’m so thankful through it all. It’s difficult having a plethora of health issues. This situation put so much added stress on top of it all. As a woman, hearing you have a fibroid. Learning it’s best to get it removed to protect your fertility is scary as hell. You get it done, get sent home, and though you have loved ones taking amazing care of you. It’s still a difficult, challenging process. At times, it’s lonely. No one but you can fully wrap your head around the emotions and feelings the body is going through. It’s pretty wild.

Anywho, sorry y’all. Let me stop rambling and get to the point. We all know how overactive my imagination is. Being stuck in bed, my mind has been wandering. I thought to myself why not take this experience and channel it into a fic. I’m hoping that this will also be a comforting story to anyone who’s been through the same experience. Here is a look at how I envision Rio taking in the experience with his lady. I plan to write at least two more parts for this. Happy reading my lovelies! I wrote this on a whim, in celebration of my birthday, so ignore the grammatical errors my loves. I may come back and do some more editing. Depends on how I’m feeling.

Word Count: 1,800+. 

Inspired By💜:

Random fun fact: Toni Braxton and I have the same birthday😆. Happy Birthday, Queen💓.

Everything was still as a deafening silence fell across the room. It was as if each occupant was afraid to utter a single word. Your mother pretended to distract herself with a Kindle book as your father paced the floor quietly. They’d share a glance each time they checked their watch, smiling at one another in comfort and reassurance. 

Then, together, they directed their attention toward the chair in the far right corner. It was tucked in a tight corner next to a window, giving little relief and comfort to your husband, Rio. He, too was anxious, but no one would ever know it. He was always able to still his facial features. Never one to give his emotions away. The only person who could read him wasn’t in the room. You were on the other side of the building and the reason for your families’ nervousness. No longer able to stand the constant glances and silence, Rio stood from his seat. He released a breath, rubbing his palms against his jeans. Turning to your parents, he stated, “I’m going to grab a quick cup of coffee from the cafeteria. Would you two like something?”

Your mother, a gentle, nurturing soul, responded for both of them.

“No, baby. We’re fine. Don’t worry. I’ll come find you if we receive news.”

Rio ducked away in a vacant spot in the cafeteria, hands folded over top of the steam of the coffee. He searched for peace and solace until a jolting vibration exploded in his jacket pocket. Fumbling for the phone, he answered without looking.

“What they say ma-. Oh, my bad. Wassup? Everything good?” Rio listened patiently before snapping. “You know this is something you could’ve handled yourself, right? I don’t have time for the three stooges bullshit today.”

He instantly felt a slight pang of guilt. Rio realized that the stress and worry of his current situation were influencing his mood. Taking a deep breath, he relaxed. Inhaling, he continued, “My bad bro. She’s been in for three hours, and it’s got me tweaking. Nobody’s giving us any damn answers. It’s a non-invasive procedure, but it’s still considered major surgery. I just need to hear she’s good.”

“It’s all good, boss. I know you’re worried about wifey. She’s a strong woman. Boss lady’s going to be alright. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything. Call me as soon as you know something,” Mick responded.

“You're right. Thank you for holdin’ shit down.”

He laid his phone on the table, burying his face in his hands. The last few moments he spent with you were on repeat in his mind. Rio returned to the present, hearing the chair opposite him slide backward. His eyes connected with your father’s, and he readied himself for wherever the conversation would go.

It was no secret that the two hadn’t always seen eye to eye. The two men sat for several minutes before your father started speaking.

“I’ll be honest with you, man. You’re not at all what I envisioned for my daughter.”

“You seriously want to have this conversation right now?”

“Now wait, son. Let me finish.”

Hold up. It’s son now? Where is this going? It didn’t even sound disrespectful. It doesn’t sound like he’s trying to play me on some sucka shit. I’ll hear him out.

Rio nodded his head, giving your father the floor.

“I may not know all you do for a living, son, but I know you’ve managed to make a comfortable and safe life for my baby girl. When it comes down to it, that’s what I’ve always wanted for her. It took me some time to come to terms with it, but I know, without a doubt, that you’re doing everything in your power to make her feel protected and loved. Let me just say what I’m getting at,” he chuckled. “You’re good at hiding it, son, but I know you’re worried. Hell, so are we, but that’s alright.”

Rio’s head dropped, shoulders slumping. He took the opportunity to be vulnerable finally. Your father’s acceptance allowed him the space to do so. He felt a comforting grip land on his shoulder. Your father finished, “Baby girl is going to be alright, son. With all your love and support, she’ll be back on her feet soon. Now, you take a few more moments to yourself. Don’t be surprised when her momma wraps you up in a big hug when you head back. She’s worried about her favorite son-in-law.”

Rio chuckled, “I’m her only son-in-law, sir.”

“Even better. You ain’t gotta share. That sweet woman sure knows how to smother people in love.”

“You’re daughter is the same way. It’s one of the many things I love about her.”

“Which is why you understand my reasons for being so guarded. That’s my baby girl. Enough with that ‘sir’ shit too. Call me pops. My son may not like that, but I get a kick out of irritating him anyway. He’s overprotective of his sister.”

“Y’all gon’ try to take me out if I ever mess up, huh?”

“What I look like snitching on myself? Let’s not ever get to that bridge, son.”

The two men shared a laugh, but everything turned serious when they saw your mom power walking towards them. Rio's heart began thudding in his chest.

“Ma, what’s wrong? Did-.”

“Relax, sugar,” she cooed, rubbing a hand against both men’s arms. “The nurse said the doctor should be ready to talk to us in about fifteen minutes. Let’s head back to the waiting room.”

Fifteen minutes came and went. Your mother couldn’t help but crack a smile at both men. They both started fussing about how long the surgeon was taking. She felt sorry for the man once he approached them. The doctor, attempting to apologize, was cut off by an impatient Rio.

“You good, doc. We understand these things take time, but excuse us for being anxious. We were under the impression this would be about an hour-long procedure. How’s my wife?”

The surgeon explained himself. “That’s what we anticipated, but the process took longer. Your wife’s last ultrasound a few months back showed a fibroid the size of a plum. Sadly, it grew to the size of an orange, which would explain why things grew more difficult during her last few cycles. However, you’ll be happy to know that we managed to do it laparoscopically, and everything looks great. She’s being taken to recovery now, but we’ve decided to keep her overnight.”

All three of your family members asked, “Why is that,” in unison.

“We just want to keep an eye on her for the next twenty-four hours. Given gas was used to see things more clearly, we’d like to monitor her. We’ll need to see that she gets up and walks to get things flowing. I just want to be sure she gets it moving out of her system. Also, since she’s anemic, we just want to be extra careful. I promise everything went well, and she should be ready to go in the morning.”

Each family member felt at ease. The trio waited for an invitation to your recovery room. Though he wanted to be the first person you saw when you woke up, Rio encouraged your parents to go first. The two visitors' only rule irritated them all.

Your eyes fluttered open, and your parents laughed at the slurred responses given to your nurse. Your parents took turns kissing your forehead, expressing encouraging words. Your father, now at ease, left the room in search of Rio.

“You might want to hurry back there. She’s still a bit loopy. Baby girl has been asking the nurse, where my husband? You got my baby acting ratchet in this hospital,” he joked.

“Aye, she was like that when I met her,” he laughed, walking towards recovery.

Rio slid behind the curtain, laying eyes on the most precious sight. You were in bed, laid back, eyes closed, singing off-key as your mother held your hand, laughing. The nurse stepped beside him, giving a small giggle.

“She’s been looking for you. Ma’am, the man of the hour is here.”

Your eyes popped open as you halted the song. “My husbannnd! Hey baeee,” you winced, given the pain and having a hoarse voice.

“Mama, you back here wildin’ ain’t you? How’s our little patient doing, ma,” he directed toward your mom.

“Crazy as ever. This girl opened her eyes, looked at me, and called herself whispering. Loud as ever, she asked me if she still had a uterus. Her daddy would’ve turned red if he were capable.”

They both shared a laugh as you did your best to shrug shoulders. Wanting to give you two privacy, your mom went to sit in the waiting room. Rio turned to you, holding your hand. His lips brushed across your knuckles, and he shivered at how cold they were. Wrapping his hand around yours, he tried warming the digits.

“My momma ain’t answer my question though,” you mumbled, eyes closed.

Rio smiled, “What’s that now, mama?”

“My uterus. Sis still in there, right?”

“Yes, darlin’. What makes you think it’s not?”

“I signed them papers, man. In the event of a ‘mergency, they were going to take shawty,” you sassed, words still slurring.

Rio did his best to hold back a cackle. Clearing his throat, he replied, “Mama, you straight. Everything went according to plan. There was no emergency. The fibroid is out. It was bigger than expected. That’s why it feels like you were out for a while.”

“Aight bet. So when we making babies,” you asked, wincing again.

“First off, sit still, mama. Your body is pretty sore right now.”

“Baby, I’m drugged up! I don’t feel nothin’.”

“Second. You’ll be recovering for four to six weeks. You’re not going to be in any type of mood for all that. I believe the surgeon said no sex for two to three weeks. No babies for at least six months, darlin’. They just sliced your uterus open and stitched it back together, mama,” he explained, running his thumb across your lip.

He laughed at the pout etched on your face. Rio caressed the side of your face, kissing you gently. “On some real shit. I was worried out my mind over you, mama. I’m so glad you’re good. You’re my world. The clock kept ticking, and I was about to lose it.”

Your eyes connected with his, “I’m right here, papa. I’m good. We gonna be good. No matter what,” you whispered. Even through the drugs and drowsiness, you could feel his angst. Rio could read between the lines. He knew what you were trying to communicate. It had been on both your minds heavily. Your eyes connected with his. Rio saw the unshed tears you were holding back, and he swallowed hard, nodding his head in agreement. No matter where this path led, Rio knew, in his heart, that he loved you with everything in him.

Baby or not, we’ll still feel fulfilled and happy. My life’s purpose is to love and give you the world.

This piece was both personal and therapeutic for me to write. I truly hope you all enjoyed it. Please be sure to comment and reblog, it's appreciated. Now I'm about to go eat some birthday cake and read some amazing fan fiction😆.

Divider credit💜 : @firefly-graphics

tagging💜 : @4everbrookemarie @darqchilddaydreamz @astoldbychae @sunshine-flower

@nightlywords7 @starrynite7114 @amorestevens @fineanddandy

@rio-reid-whoreee @that-one-anxious-mango @novaniskye

@alertyoulikeitsamber @1andonlytashae @lovedlover @blkbutterfly816 @banana123pudding

[smileycarat]

delulu thoughts: joshua ver

joshua x reader

a/n: looks like i’m going to do a mini series of my delulu thoughts for each member, lmk if you are interested in being tagged? this one is more of an imagine than a headcannon? idk it’s more plot based haha, expect this one to be random

best friends to lovers trope?

joshua is just so…*sigh*

this man is just so dreamy and kind and aND AND

i for some reason get childhood best friends vibes from him, or someone that you have a deep and long past with

he’s just someone who has overall been there for you for the longest time, and yes he’s an idol now and all the more busy, but he will always make time for you

the realization that came to you regarding your feelings was one day that you were feeling down

joshua was there for you, as always, and doing what he does best which is give you advice and to comfort you

he sat next to you on the kitchen floor, and after you had calmed down enough, he asked you if it was okay if he could hug you

that is how you ended up on his lap, which was not something new to you due to your long lasting friendship

but his words of soft encouragement and the way he rubbed your back and petted the crown of your head felt so endearing

it was easy to get lost in his arms as he continued to do the soothing gestures and would occasionally murmur into your hairline how much you meant to him followed by a soft kiss there

you both had never shied away from affection, so one again, this wasn’t something out of the ordinary

“you carry too much weight on your plate sometimes, how long have you been feeling like this?” he would whisper into your hair

“for a while now”

he pulled back slightly to look at your face, and his lips turned down slightly and his eyes softened at the sad expression on your face

“you can always count on me to help you carry that weight” he says as he wiped your tears with his thumb

“but it’s not yours to-”

“no, i want you to be able to come to me for anything”

his gaze was so sincere and that overall brought a new wave of emotion causing you to wobbly smile at him through a new set of tears

that was the day that you realized that joshua meant more to you than the longtime best friend he’s always been to you

things continue as normal as they can be with your newfound realization

you both still meet up for lunch every other weekday, depending on if he’s free and if he can meet you during your lunch hour at your workplace

he always brings food with him, don’t even try arguing with him about it

the receptionists are already very familiar with his presence at your workplace as he greets them with a smile, and they can’t help but swoon

as he meets you in your office, you hastily clean up your work area as he takes containers out of the bags of the meal he brought

will open your containers for you and prep them with all necessary sides and utensils

also always brings a straw for you that he quickly plops into your drink that he opened for you

it’s not an abnormal sight for someone to walk into your office to drop off something and see him feed you the first bite of his food with his chopsticks

he just likes to take care of you

when at the bar, he will watch the bartender to make sure your drink gets done correctly and that it’s safe for you

yes he’s listening to you ramble about your day at work, but he’s keeping an eye on your drink

you both often take sips of each others drinks

will often pull you to his side and wrap his arm around your shoulders as you converse with friends

the members are used to your displays of affection, so forehead kisses are not at all new to them

what is new is the small kiss joshua places under your ear after a good amount of drinks

and then the few more that joshua places on the corner of your lips as the night progresses

soonyoung has to be pulled away when he gets noticeably excited

fans also knew about your existence as one of joshua’s long time friends

however they do have a field day when pictures of you both grocery shopping surface

in one of which joshua is pictured pushing a shopping cart while you read a list

in another picture where you’re laughing at an expression joshua pulled

and then lastly there’s a video where joshua pecks you on the lips after you toss in what is known to be his favorite snack into the shopping cart

you both never publicly confirm anything, but you are featured more often in the background of his instagram posts with members

fans particularly loved the one photo he posted at the end of a series of multiple random photos

you were on the last slide holding one half of a popsicle stick, and you were looking at the ground dejectedly where the other half of your frozen popsicle was melting

he captioned the post “summer favorites ❤️”

taglist

@fandems

[bluginkgo]

Just what in the fack did I watch... I'm gonna go watch it again just for funsies and to cry again (Rambles/Thoughts)

This post will mostly contain random rambles and thoughts I had while watching and rewatching the episode. And a lot of this is just going to be me ranting about scenes (the rants will most likely make you wanna go "Ginkgo, that's common sense we can see it smh." XD Just roll with it. Oh and NUzi scenes

Spoilers, duh and lots of words. Oh and gore warning? Kinda?

I mean... that scary *ss mother facking thing towards the end- you know what I'm talking about if you watched the ep 😅

First thing I found interesting, is how the Solver behaves in this scene. It's mere shadows, not even fully manifested. Further proves that the Solver transcends simple time and space, and is on a different plane of existence- a 4th dimension if you will.

The humans did, in fact, learn how to control the Solver. The pentagram like projections act as gravity enforcers and lights that subdue the solver for a period of time. Buuuut it seems that it's not full proof. It seems that this occurance is fairly common, seeing as the workers nearby were not very concerned that an eldrich being was about to break loose.

Alright another slow moment here. But I had to google wtf "MacGuffin" meant (English isn't my first language, so take it easy on me ;w;). And taking this straight from the google search "an object or device in a movie or a book that serves merely as a trigger for the plot." So most likely, the Absolute Solver is referring to the fact that Mitchell the intern set things in motion simply because he was mistaken for the real Dr. Chambers... Classic- CLASSIC human mistake XD

So... Heart/Nori. Something interesting is going on with her. I believe Nori WAS injured by the DDs and had to be finished off by Khan. I'll touch on Khan a bit later. But, just as seen with Eldrich J... I'm not sure why I've never thought of this before! It makes sense for Nori's corrupted core: Heart, to still function properly. Meaning, she could have snuck away when she was killed and returned to the cathedral to search for the crucifix. Uzi gets most of her style from Nori 🥹. Seems like Uzi got her mom's style and Khan's engineering abilities.

I had it all wrong- and I am ALL FOR IT! N wasn't afraid of something he saw ahead. He was upset with what they left BEHIND! V! And THIS ENTIRE SCENE

You cannot believe how surprised I was. This scene was so much better than I could have imagined it. Yes, it was painful to watch, but sweet robo-god this was executed SO DAM WELL TwT It was delicious angst. And Tessa was not in fact drawing her sword on Uzi, but instead protecting her... kinda... with an ulterior motive of course.

The gut wrenching betrayal right there. The animation team did a wonderful job at animating the betrayal and how it manifested in Uzi. Disbelief and then anger.

Not to mention her stumble. I hyper fixated on that stumble a bit too much on my first 2 watches. (Yes, I've rewatched the episode 8 times now, hush I love it XD). Her stumble shows weakness. And in that moment, she wishes to be anything BUT weak. The suspicion of betrayal is settling in, and she needs to be able to fight back. But her body is giving out. The events are taking a toll on her. And makes me appreciate the animation detail that much more.

This scene N is definitely angry. He's trying his best to keep it together and Tessa's pressure to injure and kill Uzi is not helping. So for him to be talking to Uzi, while glaring at Tessa is just him driving the point home. He is NOT going to hurt Uzi, no matter what they might find down in the labs.

But a poor choice of words that was. It gives Uzi a glimpse of what was actually happening and what has been bothering N. The trust vaporizes, and with it, any attempts with communication.

And what I believe, gives a nod back to ep2. As N steps in to try to help Uzi up, she retreats. Same happens in this episode. And the kicker? "Falling... for you" song starts lightly playing in the background.

This is far too comical after he says he deserves to have his limbs cut off. The whiplash I got from that is ridiculous... in a sad and funny way.

What an amazing shot. But it does paint a picture of what the DDs have done. Perhaps the blood also acted as cooling agents, and this is why the trend continued with robots- except this time around as oil. And this is what the Administration CYN most likely blocked out. Not only the manor time, but also the bloodbath that followed as Earth collapsed.

THE DOG MADE IT IN AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It's interesting on how the solver manifests in the drones. It seems that Uzi's wings and tail, do not make the solver go insane, and she can continue to use it. However, later in the episode the same wings and tail go berserk. So it seems that once the transformation has set in- like with Uzi- it becomes part of the drone rather something that is manifested by the Absolute Solver's control.

SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE XD Part 2A that Khan refers to is on the bottom left corner, the green core that Uzi got a hold of back in pilot episode- also titled as "I think this is a robot liver or something lol."

Plan B: Uzi could have had a normal gun if railgun didn't work. Bottom right corner

Top left corner under Uzi's railgun title: "30 min recharge time. That'll be fine." Famous last words ever XD

Top right corner: "Other things it can do: Not judge me, force prom dance, I can say I had friends but fricken murdered them with sci fi weaponry."

I love how sassy he is here XD His character development and arc is something that I will never forget. He has definitely come a great ways. Khan also seems adamant about his wife being completely dead. Which proves that he didn't know a single thing about the Absolute Solver and what it can do. He could only reference Nori's insane drawings and deduce that the planet was going to eat them all soon.

Idk if this is just my tired brain, but this comment felt like a joke to me. (Remember, I don't know anything about computers and the language ;w;) But the physical patch to save herself... as in, the same patches that are sent out for games/programs to fix bugs? That's the joke I got out of that one 😅

This entire sequence was something out of my nightmares XD The heel tapping that KEPT GETTING QUICKER definitely had me reeling back from the screen XD

The Nori and Yeva scene was so wholesome 🥹. I loved the way the animators showed their interaction. Despite the hellish events, they were still close.

My only issue with this image is, on what is Doll moving? Not like the floor. The core is gone from her body, what the heck is still driving her forward? Perhaps just on the sheer will to warn Uzi to "fight back." And I suppose I can see how she could still move without her main core. Almost acting like chickens do, when you cut their heads off. One was able to live for 18 months after the head was cut. So I suppose I can get behind the idea that Doll's final wish was to warn Uzi, at the very least, and thus forced the body to move until it did so.

But then, Tessa shows up. Which makes me wonder if she was the one that simply lead Doll's body to come to Uzi. How? Uhhh... Absolute Solver! Let's just go with that sweat face. The con in that theory is a simple: why? Why bother leading Doll to Uzi? To spook her? To give a false reason to attack Uzi? Given that N was still very much behind them all, I don't see why the Absolute Solver would try to make up some odd reason to attack Uzi. It could just simply... go ahead. There was no one there to fool, and could incapacitate Uzi easily. Buuuut I could also be looking too deep into this, as per usual.

Hey guess what.

I found the answer. XD Just as I'm typing this up, a frame popped up.

Yup, the core was still inside and thus running Doll and thus Doll could move, ok carry on. XD

Emotions spike the Absolute Solver, something that I love seeing and appears to be less headcanon and more canon at this point for me. Through the entire episode, the Solver keeps glitching out and forcing Uzi to lose control because in this situation, she's very stressed. A betrayal, a misunderstanding, learning about the past, everything becomes too much. This makes keeping the solver at bay that much harder.

He did NOT give her any chance. Yes or no, Tessa. That suddenness surprised me- in a good way. This shows how much N has grown. He's willing to stand up for his beliefs that much better. If he suspects something, he now acts on it, and does not wait for the other side to perhaps change his mind.

This scene. This scene shall live in my head rent free for a long while... Actually, the entire episode is gonna live rent free for a while. XD Not to mention the "Falling... for you" song plays in the background yet again. Ugh, pulling on heart strings there ;w;

They had us all fooled XD The hand lights were on just to trick us, and in fact were meant to be off this entire time! Oh you sneaky sneaky people. >w<

ALL OF THESE SCENES, they're all so cruel but SO GOOD TwT So cruel in context of how tortured N must be to fight Uzi, but so good in context that this fight sequence and animation is executed SO WELL. All of Nori's slaps were so personal XD Mama Nori educating NUzi

When I saw this scene, I couldn't help but think of ep3 and their dance. This entire episode is so bittersweet ;w;

She's still there TwT And she sees this entire fight. Of what she has become and done to N and omg I'm crying again. Moving on.

OMG YOU SILLY GOOBER BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH XD I love Nori/Heart's reaction, but the Absolute Solver also gets me laughing a bit too hard. "WHAT." That's so simple yet so effective. "What. Why. You are a DD I sent to kill the hosts, why are you hanging out."

The entire scene with NUzi screaming. Just. YES. What better way of gettin rid of stress than screaming! ^_^

Oh you sneaky, sneaky people. Well, all I can say, you got me. You got me good. This is something I didn't think of, but should have. It's simple to get these shots with certain rigs missing. And it was done seamlessly. Well done, well done. I begrudgingly applaud you. XD

HE'S PATTING HER HEAD AAAAHHHHH *proceeds to ascend to another realm*

They did not... omg they did XD Ah, yes, welcome a new horror oh and by the way here- :3 a cute face

Omg they look so cool- KHAN WTF XD

LOL J THE PRIOR HAZARD WARNING AHAHAHAHAHA

The way she shook his hand trying to snap him back to himself and wake up 😭. And the entire sequence following this... I'm just now slowly starting to process it, oh and great I'm sobbing again. Alright, moving on.

Well, I have some thoughts in this. This is personal thoughts, thus this is where you are more than free to yeet this section into the void that Uzi was dragged into... sorry that was a bad joke- anyways. "Die mad." I feel like this is her way of telling N to not give up. To go out there and FIGHT. But if he can't win, then to die like she is. To die in a way that he will be proud of and to go batsh*t crazy. Because by now, Uzi must know that all of their chances of survival are slim. So you might as well go out with a bang and "die mad."

Something I noticed and was further solidified when @bloodywolfwings also mentioned it. Uzi looks at peace here and very accepting of death. And I say, yes, she very much is. I think this was a way of her asking N for forgiveness. For getting mad at him in the beginning of the episode, for failing to be useful/protecting N, and for fighting against him- despite being possessed. And perhaps even, as an incredibly insane and radical thought, for loving him. This entire episode has put the characters and us through the wringer, and that "sacrifice" was just the cherry on top.

Something I have seen already mentioned once at very least (by @/rebecca-babe) and something that also put me on edge was the ending credits... or the lack of. Of course, all the credits roll, but it's not the usual type. Instead of an upbeat music that is either "Uzi the drone killer" or a theme that was seen in the episode... its SILENCE. Being a musician myself, I love how much love has been put into Murder Drones. The sound effects and the main music are always top-notch. But that ending unsettled me the most. The lack of all noise is something that is terrifying and unsettling in that ending. Almost like all the music and sound left with the "sacrifice" of the main character, Uzi. The entire episode was filled with sounds, silence only being present when something incredibly WRONG was happening - like at the beginning when intern Mitchell re-entered the cathedral. And as much as I love how well executed this entire scene was, I hated it. Because that scene does the job that it was set out to do. Put you on edge, and make you feel like all hope is lost. That this is it. This is the end.

This is the end of my rambles and thoughts that I had while watching ep7. I may have more later on as I keep rewatching this episode for the rest of the week ;w;

Want to hear more of my stupid rambles? This has 3 other parts!

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Vox headcanon todayy ripped from my ramblings in a friends dms

Been going insane about this for days so please dont mind me.

Warning for discussions of seizures

So like Vox gets upgrades and maintenance on his body kind of often like how rich white moms buy the new iphone every other month but for him its for both public image and also processing stuff, also for like 3 days ive been going insane because I got some headcanon implanted into my head and I didnt know where it came from and then I figured it out but like Vox definitely has epilepsy so i tried to go pin pointing where I think my brain randomly came up with the epilepsy thing, I think in my head I listed these as some kind of mechanical seizure with the first one being vox having severely overloaded circuits and then the second being the actual seizure where he starts to shut off and falls back into his chair.

I think its kind of interesting that theres kinds of things that organic bodied sinners cant experience like technological sinners can, like a non technological sinner couldn’t experience a blackout/bluescreen kind of seizure like this where it literally shuts off all the electronics in the city for a solid 4-5 seconds. I don’t imagine an average tech sinner could experience this on as wide of a scale as Vox since the average person isnt really connected to basically every device in a 5 mile radius, but im sure they could experience some sort of bluescreen or circuit overload in a more contained way

Aside from this very rare occurrence that’s probably only happened once or twice, Vox probably has tonic and absence seizures specifically, not really caused by one specific thing but not charging properly or overheating increases the risk of having them as well as overloading circuits. He is usually able to tell when he is about to have one and will notify someone nearby and excuse himself if he’s in something like a meeting and find a place to lay down. At the moment I think both of the other’s are aware of this but only Velvette really helps at all when its needed

I dont see characters that struggle with seizures often at all and I dont think ive ever seen a villain with epilepsy and I find it very intriguing to have that

Since Vox is a technological sinner/being, his epilepsy now is relatively very different than when he was a person and like I said some of these things just cant really happen like this in organic brains or bodies so obviously don’t take my Vox headcanons as some way to study actual epilepsy. If you’re interested in it please do your own research and focus on humans rather than on robots, they are very different! I genuinely cannot stress enough please do not assume actual people dealing with epilepsy will behave how a cartoon character does—I doubt anyone will actually assume that but—just in case please🙏

[poppyfamily]

Amangela Writer Appreciation Post!

I'm feeling a lot of things right now and I've decided to write what I like about my Amangela writer friends' writing. I often forget to leave comments on their work because they are GOOD at what they do, and I often forget I'm in the middle of reading good writing because it just exists (something something baby fish asks mommy fish where water is only to realize they've been swimming in it the whole time). Can you believe they do this for FREE? And share it with us just because they want to? They are GIFTS to the community.

It is such a privilege to be in the same creative sphere as these people and I need to express Emotions or regret not doing it. They inspire me everyday. Here is a public declaration of love, hope y’all are okay with that. Ramblings under the cut, because it goes without saying, this got really long.

@okiankeno is so imaginative with their writing. My Teeth, Your Neck is impressive with its incorporations of many elements that are familiar to Smosh and Amangela while throwing them into a fantastical, supernatural universe. I haven't watched Buffy, but their writing is so good at making this fantastical world feel lived in. The world just seamlessly slides into the way they write character motivations, making for strong characterization and dynamics that have me INVESTED. That Maia/Valerie twist? Screaming. Crying. Throwing up.

@babychosen is wonderful at dropping Amanda and Angela in situations optimized for maximum tension - which is clearly seen in first time that i met you (i didn't have a damn clue) and you could be bad (but i wanna find out). I love how she crafts her plots, keeping me at the edge of my seat for what comes next, which is driven forward by the way she writes dialogue - natural to the situation as it captures a range of emotions: awkwardness, uneasiness, attraction and just all the quirks that come with forming relationships. Her writing is so fun to read!

@sage-lights writes fics that are short and sweet, but they pack such a powerful punch. With just a few words, she's able to tell a story that contains the energy of a multi-chaptered fic. This is especially true in sometimes i hold you closer (just to know you're real). LIKE HELLO. I was on the road when I first read it and it had me spiraling for a good few hours. She also captures their voices very well. They also capture the tenderness of Amanda and Angela in such a specific way. One of my favorites is met you at the right time (this is what it feels like), capturing the intimacy of two women who earnestly love each other, beyond romance.

@xxsuicidalravenxx 's writing explores the inner turmoil of being drawn to someone while having a lot of insecurity about your own place in other people’s lives. You know I'm such a fool for you (you got me wrapped around your finger) captures something so incredibly real about the anxiety that comes with a murky and under-communicated relationship dynamic based on unfair assumptions about both herself and how Amanda feels about her - which ultimately is a reflection of Angela’s own self-worth which at this point isn’t the best. It’s so real, god - the self-sabotage and all that and slowly realizing that the people around her care more about her beyond whatever mistake she believes she’s made. Also just - all Chamangela dynamics are excellently written here. It’s a gift.

@unknownteapot is masterful at her craft. I've said it before - their writing is so cinematic.  I can see it clearly in my mind - so good at painting clear pictures of where the characters are in the story. It's dramatic, tension-filled and just excellent writing all around. Several minutes of my life have been spent reading her fics. I feel comforted whenever I read her stuff, it gives the feeling of hope - that things will be okay even when it doesn’t seem that way. I remember when sweetheart dropped in the Amangela ao3 tag and thinking WHO is this absolutely talented writer that came out of nowhere (to me lol), but now I can't imagine this little community without them.

@shesmore-shoebill is so good at capturing Amangela vibes as we see it. Like it truly feels like they've broken down the dynamic into its bare essentials which enables them to produce fics that I can vividly HEAR.  They also just infuse a lot of tenderness into the way they write Amanda and Angela, whether it's in a joke or in like genuine moments of checking in - both demonstrated very well in empty space and Joint Custody (Hey Siri). Also, you just know they're a good writer without reading any of their fics because they are already so articulate in how they write commentary on videos when they aren't even trying to write a story, so when they do have a story, it just hits even more. So good.

@skiespeaches has authored one of the hottest, tension-filled fics I've read in my god damned life. From the first chapter of The devil is in the details I was screaming over how THE FUCK they were able to make just ONE KISS feel like THAT. Also, really really really love how grounded this is in the way they write dialogue and internal thoughts. It captures the pleasant feeling of realizing just how much you like someone and receiving some cues that they might like you back. It captures actions you take because of those feelings that can get in the way of communicating what you really want, the emotional tentativeness that comes with not wanting to bear your heart completely quite yet - yet there is a willingness to see where it goes, hoping that it does come to that point. The entire fic feels like the most emotionally charged scene of a slice of life movie - which is literally my personal favorite genre.

@ghoulishhgayy - famed author of hit Amangela fic Oil Burns had me invested in a situation that I personally haven't read a lot of in fanfiction. The spirit of their fics can be boiled down (haha get it) to the way they write about two women who deeply care about one another unconditionally supporting each other through difficult times. That's the kind of shit I eat up, and it's done so excellently. They just also write in a way that just makes being in love so appealing. They capture the moment of oh in Oil Burns so well that it has me gnashing my teeth, gnawing at the bars of my enclosure etc etc.

@wlwsmosh manages to get to the heart of a story in a few words. It's actually crazy and I’m in awe of their talent. There is a lightness to their fics that just makes me smile so much while also like having some really smutty scenes, which is so dang impressive - balancing sweetness and steaminess really well while also feeling very much like Amangela. My favorite from them are when i call the shots, you call me mommy which I think feels so much like Amangela voice and humor, while also placing them in a relationship and kink context. Honestly, all of their fics are gems.

@baflegacy is so GOOD at putting Amangela in the silliest of situations (heck, situations that are very much based on what we have seen in canon) and teasing out its potential romantic through line. They have a way of capturing emotions that accompany these situations in a way that just shoots you straight to the core. They write tension so well, and are so good at keeping me engaged with what's about to happen next. All of their works are GOATED. I, however, am extremely biased when I say that my favorite is their birthday gift for me - too good (to deny it) - aka one of the best angsty pieces of writing I've read in my whole life my GOD.

@cuecrynsleep is so!!!! A newer friend whose first fic in the Amangela tag I fell in love with immediately (Being Transparent). It was so simple, but captures Amangela’s adorable nature within the context of a romantic relationship REALLY WELL. I’m also just out here eagerly awaiting every post from Reconnecting the Past, which is a chat fic - a format that I rarely like the execution of, but damn I love the way they’re doing it here with the added bonus of the Changela, Arangela, and Shourtmanda dynamics which is just feels absolutely right. I’m out here thinking what are they gonna do next. They are so good at building intrigue and I’m just here sipping my tea and thinking in my head that I sound like some pathetic fuckboy sexting going “and then what?” because I am seated. I am sat. 

Anyway, if you’ve reached the end of this post - go support these writers!!!! Make sure you let them know if you like their stuff - either through a comment, kudos, an ask, a message, or bookmark. I promise you it makes these authors’ days whenever they see any kind of feedback for their work, and it keeps the community ALIVE. I am guilty of not doing that but it’s always great to try instead of not. I know from personal experience that it makes so much of a difference in their motivation to write more, while also allowing us to savor the work instead of mindlessly consuming it. Thanks for reading me gushing about all of them. Love you Amangela RPF community! Very grateful for y’all more than you’ll ever know <3

[cursedwithwords]

Teddy Lupin picrew dump because I'm in love with him.

I love to imagine him with pink or magenta eyes because it connects him to Tonks, but I also have this image of him having eyes that are in constant motion, always changing and never settling on one solid color, to show the internal chaos he battles with. I think he keeps his hair generally a solid blue because he likes the way it looks, and because his nan told him that his hair turned blue almost immediately after he was born, so a tiny piece of him is always thinking "well if it's blue my parents will recognize me" even though he knows they're gone and that's not gonna happen.

((Read more to see Cursed rambling about metamorph abilities ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ))

I have this theory about Metamorph abilities that's basically summed up as being a mutation of the individuals magic itself. It's born from decades of interfamilial inbreeding of a family that already has extremely powerful magic.

I see Metamorphmagus being in the same family of mutation as Obscurus, that being something uncontrollable that happens due to some form of magical backup. The only difference is Obscurus are psychologically self-made while Metamorphmagus are created genetically.

I've seen theories stating that House Black inter-marries because they're worried about their ancient magic being somehow corrupted by other family's blood. It basically said that the Black family has power/magic that lives up to its name, and I kind of love that, but power like that can't possibly come without consequences, and in their attempt to keep the purity of their magic from being corrupted, they themselves became corrupted by their magic.

I mean the way I see it, ancient magic like that has to be chaotic and untamable, something incredibly feral and wild. The more "pure" it is, the more uncontrollable.

Because of that, I think Andromeda marrying and having a child with a muggleborn more or less stabilized the Black family magic in a body far more capable of containing it. But the magic itself is still extremely volatile, so it manifested as metamorph abilities, and I think that in itself would have some unique manifestations.

I think Teddy is immune to most magical ailments, including hexes and curses. His body kind of just deflects it because his magic is able to cancel it out. I think that's probably why Remus' Lycanthropy also passed him over.

At the same time, I think he's pretty susceptible to Muggle illnesses like the flu or the common cold, and I've always headcanoned that he had chronic migraines because though the Lycanthropy disease was fended off through his mutated magic, it's still an insanely brutal illness in and of itself, and some piece of it lingers in him. So around the full moon he tends to get migraines. Proof that he's not invincible I guess.

I have so many thoughts about Teddy tbh, he's always been outrageously powerful in my mind, and the only reason his magic hasn't consumed him and driven him crazy like so many of the Black family is because he isn't a pureblood. It makes him even more formidable as an enemy, though I don't see him being super aware of his own abilities.

Like he knows he's an alright wizard, he just doesn't realize he's THAT powerful, cuz why would he??

[descendinginto-madness]

welt except he has a fever and desperately needs sleep

cw: descriptions of illness, high fever, being kinda delirious/out of it, sleep deprivation?, nightmares, headaches, mentions of death

contains spoilers for welt's hi3 lore

also, disclaimer! welt in here is very reluctant to ask for help and feeling bad about it because... well i imagine he'd react like this, BUT! needing help and asking for it is completely normal and valid and okay; please remember that and take care of urself ok!! ily /p

alright, so...

i'm gonna be honest since i found @bugbytez13 's blog welt sickfic ideas don't want to leave my head LMAO except i will write a detailed description of a fic instead of the fic itself. that's it that's the post

tbh this ramble in particular could be made into two separate fanfics (one sickfic and one specifically about the nightmares) but shh

i will forever be self conscious or anxious about things i post that aren't just headcanons or silly little rambles, but also... writing this went surprisingly smoothly so! enjoy the essay or something idk HAHA

======================================

so, about welt...

i just know this man is going to force himself to stay awake. maybe his self-sacrificing issues are less present now, and he doesn't immediately throw himself in danger in every fight ever, but he's still stubborn as hell. so he won't admit something is wrong. he won't admit that maybe getting way too little sleep several days in a row wasn't doing wonders for his immune system and he's now finally feeling the consequences. to be fair, he expected it might end like this, but he didn't want to take breaks - there's still too many things to take care of before they finally head to penacony. and now, he will still insist of taking care of everything, even though his body is basically begging him to go take a nap.

except maybe, he didn't even expect it to get this bad. or thought that he can just power through it. i mean, he's been through much worse, right? this is nothing compared to literally losing his body for some time. but he's sitting in the parlor car, and he's half awake, and unusually cold, and his head is hurting, and keeping up the act is getting harder and harder - but he has to, because the younger members of the crew are here too, even if only march is talking to him.

but they pick up on the fact that something is wrong, of course they do. his eyes are unfocused, he looks like he's about to fall asleep - or pass out - and march had to repeat herself twice for him to even fully process what she was asking him, and so suddenly stelle is next to him, attempting to touch his forehead - and he recoils. "i'm fine," he says, and it's probably a bit too quick and a bit too firm than he'd like it to be, and all of this is stupid, really, because he shouldn't be scared of someone touching him. how hot can it really be anyway if he's feeling so cold, right? but if that wasn't enough dan heng asks an even more dreaded question, "are you sure, mr yang? do you want us to call himeko?" and welt decides it's time to excuse himself, before he makes them even more worried. because even in his present state, he can pick up on the fact they're concerned, but at the same time unsure of what to do, and it makes him feel guilty. of course they're unsure; he's usually their caretaker, and he always knows what to do, and it should never be the other way around. he should've just stayed in his room all day, shouldn't he.

"thank you all for your concern, but i'm alright." he stands up. "now, please excuse me, i still have some work to do." of course that's true, but he's almost certain he won't be able to focus on that- but he just needs an excuse to get out from here and be left alone anyway.

but stelle is right next to him, and looking determined to accompany him to his room, too. "you look like you're about to fall, mr yang," they explain, and he wants to insist that he's okay once again, but realizes he's too tired to do so. it would take him at least a few minutes, and it's a few minutes he doesn't have nearly enough energy for. he just wants to finally lie down. so, he lets stelle essentially escort him into the hallway and to his bedroom, and make sure he doesn't collapse on his way there, and-- it's embarassing, honestly, because it's already so difficult for him to show himeko the slightest hints that something might be wrong, and right now the situation is similar but ten times worse - so it's also ten times harder for him to come to terms with the fact he needs to rely on someone.

"my... apologies for making you all worry," he says quietly when they reach his room, and he's so thankful that he left the lights off, because the parlor car was way too bright, and though the hallway was a bit better, it still wasn't good.

"it's alright," stelle shakes her head, and stands there in the doorway, even as he heads towards his bed and sits down. "i'll ask himeko to check up on you in a bit?" she asks, and he only nods, though he isn't sure if she can actually see it. he doesn't want to talk anymore, he doesn't want to think because even just that seems to make his headache worse, he just wants stelle to leave, he just wants to sleep-- he isn't even sure if he understood her question correctly, but he also doesn't have the energy to care. he falls asleep the moment the door closes behind her, fully clothed and half covered with a thick blanket, but even then he isn't allowed a peaceful rest.

memories from old battles flash before his eyes, silhouettes of enemies he once fought, those against whom he won - but also of those who severly injured or even killed him, and with that come the memories of the pain

and the fear of losing his body again.

when he finally awakens, sweating, shaky for reasons other than his fever, and still feeling pretty awful, it takes him longer than usual to remember where he is. it takes him longer than usual to remember that he's safe.

but now there's medicine and a thermometer on his nightstand, and a note written in himeko's neat handwriting - though he actually spots and reads it some time later - telling him to rest as much as he needs to, because she'll take care of everything; and only after he does read it and feels a sense of relief come over him, he realizes how much the thought of having to leave all the work in order to take a break actually stressed him out. he still feels bad about it, because of course he does, and of course he's going to apologize to everyone later.

but he's also able to sleep more peacefully now.

[xycuro-illuminati]

I finally sat down and did a ref of Andrew Murdock Smith, the bitter exes stuntdevil clone son. Big thanks to my friends redfingrs and cowumbo-uwu for helping me fix up the design and finalize it.

DO NOT TAG AS M/CU

More info and art under cut

Andrew came from a shitpost What If idea of George obtaining the piece of the criminal cowboy DD suit that Johnny ghost rider damaged that contained Matt's blood and dead skin cells to create a clone son with his and Matt's DNA. The guy has connections and was able to obtain drugs specifically made to trick Matt's powers, why would he NOT know a scientist that can clone people. Made it into a way less-shitposty idea where George did that not only to get revenge on Matt but to have a true Stunt Master successor.

Andrew was made physically and mentally a grown adult in his mid-late 20's, but George still raised him for a bit. He tricks Andrew into believing that his other father, Daredevil, was a megalomaniac that was too dangerous to be around and that he needed to be put down, despite the news showing him as a hero. George showed Andrew "how Daredevil really is" with evidence of Matt's criminal cowboy days and even the shadowlands incident. He also convinced Andrew that he should the one to replace Matt as Daredevil while also being a Stunt Master successor. Eventually, Andrew got sick and tired of George because George sucks so bad as a parent, so he ran off to start his mercenary life. With enough training, he gained the name Infrared and goes after Daredevil. However, Andrew found out that DD had trained another vigilante before named Blindspot. So he decides to go after Sam first just to test him and get an idea of what to expect from fighting Matt. Andrew shows up randomly to challenge Sam many times until one fight led to Sam putting the pieces together.

After that particular exchange, Andrew finally goes after Matt. Sam had trouble finding/contacting Matt to ask questions, but Andrew got to Matt first. As explained in one of my late night ramble posts, Andrew had this idea of Matt in his head, expecting him to be arrogant, cruel, and downright malicious. The Daredevil that George described aligned more with how Matt acted during his criminal cowboy days, so Andrew was fully expecting that. He wasn't expecting Daredevil who refused to fight back after learning the truth, and wanted to help him instead. That shattered Andrew's world view and made him leave.

Later on, he comes around and tolerates Matt and his attempts at being a parent. As for Sam, they act like rivals. Sam can't stand his ass and wants to beat the shit out of him for all the trouble/injuries he's caused and Andrew just likes to annoy him and fights him for fun. Horrid stuntdevil offspring.

Andrew uses a kusarigama bc he thought it was similar to batons but sharper (and I thought it would look cool leave me alone). He also uses pistols and other types of guns, but mostly for his merc work rather than his I'm-going-to-fight-vigilantes-for-fun work.

Also I'll maybe draw his motorcycle in the future, idk, I imagine it's something like this:

[hikaririnku-blog]

Hikari MID Rambles #1

I've been thinking random thoughts about MID, some additions/reinterpretations that can just be put into one post. This is also gonna help me with a rewrite I'd be planning because I am dedicated asf LMAO. So, feedback and additional thoughts are welcome! Daemos Society: The many times I've rewatched MID and how much we get within the castle is a great start, but other than where the last human soul was held and some smaller flashbacks with Daemos, we don't exactly have much on the outside of the castle. Discussing it with some other friends that have watched it, I thought of an idea that, with how absolutely brutal Daemos can be towards their own kind ⁽*ᶜᵒᵘᵍʰ* ᴬˢᶜʰ'ˢ ᴰᵉᵃᵈᵇᵉᵃᵗ ᴰᵃᵈ *ᶜᵒᵘᵍʰ*⁾, maybe there were a little more interconnected to keep the most powerful close, and the least powerful contained. Maybe, instead of villages outside of a castle town, the kingdom has sectors for living, some sectors closer to the actual castle where uncommon knowledge is withheld, and even powerful Daemos reside there (basically, their version of "rich" people, since it is implied they do not have currency, at least in an actual money sort of way), hence the rarely spoken "ranking" system they have. The farther away the sectors, the weaker Daemos residents are, and are kept that way through boarder control. Only way to move up in living and in power is through your hard-working efforts. This also may help explain how Bish ended up recognized by and married to Rhal, and how Noi managed to be a knight despite his lowest rank. It doesn't mean they won't be looked down upon as seen by Noi's fellow comrades and Lady Grandma towards Bish, but they still more than likely shown more than enough effort to be where they're at now. With it also being in separate sectors, the current ruler for the sake of instilling fear and sending a message can absolutely ruin, if not fully destroy, a sector, if they so pleased, or help it. Hair: Partly inspired by @load-theloading-artist 's thoughts on hair styles (link to their post here), I do imagine very similarly Daemos have different hairstyles to hide vulnerability and/or show confidence, but also have ideas of some hairstyles that are more combat-ready as well. A lot of those that fight either have shorter hair or have longer hair that is tied back to help them within said combat, and more of your regal, non-fighters will assume some more "fashionable" hair (i.e. braids, buns, half-up, etc.) With that being said, though, it can show status as well, like the ones that are more modest and are your run-of-the-mill civilians may care less for their hair, or if they do, they may get sneered at by (in their own terms) "weaker" Daemos that assume they're trying for nothing, or they'll be like the rest of the more powerful Daemos that just forgets about them or be cruel to them and will avoid them; either way it'll look and feel like an insult. Other teachings: I'd assume there'd be more teachings in Daemos society other than just the combat. Medical fields to help injured soldiers (prioritizing healing magic for those able, and have subcategories of physical treatment, herbal remedies, etc.) would be great within this time of magic crisis, and some lighter teachings for the civilians. With how dystopian the world of the Daemos feels, some history may be hidden, either within the mystical library of the kingdom, or even in forbidden areas (this may be due to Asch's Dad to keep his power longer in my mind's eye, he just seems a kind of monarch that would Do That), and maybe there's even a way to restore magic without human souls. The history teachings would be in rebel groups that are super lowkey and underground. Language teachings, to help read, write, and speak in other languages other than the Daemos's home language (probably is useful for Daemos that only speak a certain language and was once used to communicate with humans a long time ago before they were eradicated for magic usage.) (Continuing in next post!)

[damnation-if]

Hi, I just played the demo and I loved it! I was wondering if you could give us an estimate of when the next update is coming?👉👈 (Or link a relevant post, if you already talked about and I just didn't scroll down far enough to see it 😆)

Also, I wanted to check, can you be in a romantic relationship with more than one character, and not just a sexual one? Because I might be in love with every single character in this game 🤭

hi, thank you! i'm glad you're enjoying the game :) i've answered the question about romancing multiple characters a couple of times in a couple of different asks but the posts all kind of link back to each other so you should be able to find all the info by. following the various links in each ask i think, starting here XD

i'm going to put the answer to your other question under a cut because some of it is quite emotional for me

i did Sort Of talk about this at the time when it happened, by which i mean that rather than making a post, i talked about it in the tags of an unrelated post i was using to distract myself (i think it was character playlists and how i'm not sure if it's a good idea to do them or not if i recall), but earlier this year while i was already going through a really rough time, my laptop died and i lost a lot of work on the game.

i knew my laptop was old and that this was possibly approaching so i made regular backups and the good news is that because i write in a separate word document and keep backups of those also i didn't actually lose any Writing. however. my twine has a problem in that every second or third game file that i publish from the build is Haunted - it contains passages i removed weeks ago, or writing that i deleted long before publishing it, that kind of weird annoying shit. (other authors have seen my files do this lmfao) and i just have to hope that the backups i make either won't be needed or aren't haunted. anyway... because hope is futile, the last backup i made was indeed haunted, and utterly useless to me as a recovery file. because it's just twine, i still have all the writing, as i mentioned... but i would have to re-code the entire chapter and put it all back together again because of how much the file did not export, which is a complicated and daunting process.

so i made a rambling explanation of this in the tags of a post and decided to take maybe a couple of days off and cool down from this specific disaster before getting into it.

i wake up the next morning to find the IF community absolutely plastered all over with Helpful Informative PSA posts about how Silly it is not to make backups and how if you just make backups you'll never have problems again and you should know better than to not make backups.

now. i'm not a catastrophist. i know for a fact that nobody was making or spreading these posts out of cruelty or a desire to make me feel bad. i also know that it's not particularly realistic to expect people who don't even know me to hunt down the source of a piece of hearsay that's like "i heard from someone that someone said that an author lost a bunch of their files and is really upset about it" to find out what the situation is and whether or not it's what they imagine. i don't even think the vast majority of people knew who it was that was the author involved, or who i am either.

but to already be going through an extremely stressful time and then lose my laptop on top of that and then be obliquely referenced by people i thought of as my peers as kind of just a big silly bumbling goose who didn't know how to manage my files and a "don't be like this person" attitude really, really hurt me. i can't express just how deeply it hurt me. one particular author was openly laughing at me and saying it was my own fault for being too stupid to make backups using a certain twine peripheral program.

so. there was a period of time where i could have found the motivation to just restart the whole chapter myself and re-code it in a frenzy because i wanted to get right back into writing it because. like a lot of authors, i LOVE writing. that's why i do this even when it's difficult. but that potential recovery was sandblasted away by the reactions of people that i thought of as my colleagues in some sense (even though i understand that they didn't do it with bad intentions, in most cases). and i hope people can understand that it greatly lengthened the amount of time i needed to spend away from the game recovering emotionally, despite being a Very Small issue to most people. i'm literally upset again just typing out this answer lmfao

however one other small piece of good news is that my laptop seemingly just lost the ability to turn itself on (because of its age) so i Think the hard drive is intact. meaning that i think i can get someone to pull all the files off it and just have them back fine once i do. the other piece of bad news is that my life is a trainwreck! and i cannot afford that right now. which is why i sort of pivoted to writing the 2000 follower celebration sidegame as a way to enjoy myself while i hurtle through hell sdjgbdfhfdgh

shortly after this thing with the laptop the house i was living in was sold out from underneath me, even though it wasn't supposed to be, and i had to find somewhere to live with my 18 year old cat, but the city i lived in had zero places that would allow cats (they're totally fine with Dogs though of course) so i had to move to an entirely new city on my own while worrying about her health. and right now i spend every fortnight desperately trying to scrape together enough to survive the next fortnight. there were entire months where i had no access to internet! it's been pretty Bad!!

so i get that people really want updates, and i'm really flattered that people do and it makes me happy that people like the game so much. but i am currently expending so much time and energy trying not to die lmfao, and i need to save up the money to get my files back around that. i truly cannot tell you when the next update will be, but i promise you that it Haunts me, probably more than you can imagine XD the sidegame will Definitely come out before it though, if that's something you're looking forward to.

thank you again for your message, and i'm sorry that i don't have good news for you. but i am trying, constantly. every day.

[joanvisitsrome]

can you write julien x reader who’ve been friends forever and during a sleepover they confess their feelings to each other (with smut if you’re comfortable it’s up to you) 😘

guess what i wrote it bc im actually becoming more and more obsessed with julien right now.

before we get into this, please take a moment to read this as I'm re-iterating one of my (only) guidelines. I do not write smut in my RPFs. I did it once and felt very uncomfortable and will not be doing it again.

Contains: kissing, pining, longing, a lot of backstory, a lot of yapping from me, childhood friends to lovers trope

You and Julien had lived across the street from each other for years. The two of you, since you moved in across the street at the very young age of three years old, were inseparable. And while most childhood best friends grew apart as school went on and what not, the two of you just became even closer, for whatever reason. Neither of you knew why, but you both weren’t against it. The two of you were so close, that, with one flinch of the other’s eye, one knew what the other was thinking.

The two of you were there for each other when you both realized you were gay at around eleven or twelve years old. Julien was first to find out, harboring a one-sided crush on a popular, straight girl at school. You were the first to know, and Julien of course told you this, and the only thing you did was capture her in a hug and tell her that everything was going to be okay. You two had a sleepover that night, where she slept in your arms, safe and sound. This was only the beginning of her years-long crush on you.

It only got worse when you had come out to her a few months later, to which she was forced to point finger guns at you, and make you laugh. For years, she imagined what it’d be like for you to be hers. All she wanted was to repeat that night with you. The night shared between the two of you when she slept in your arms. She wanted to sleep in your arms so badly. Oh, how badly she wanted to kiss you too. All she wanted was to call you her girlfriend.

At the beginning of high school, the two of you began dating other people rather quickly. She was a heartthrob to most of the other gay girls at school, to which she was reluctant to accept at first. She ended up embracing that, after you got your first girlfriend, and she wanted to numb the pain.

And it wasn’t that she didn’t like whoever she dated. She just wished it was you. The two of you would go on double dates quite often, actually, and had a lot of fun. You’d catch her staring at you with her big, saucer-like eyes when you were with your girlfriends tho. And if you were being honest, you’d stare at her too. She’d give her girlfriends the best of the best when it came to treatment, showering them with gifts and love. Sometimes, you would wish you could shapeshift into one of Julien’s girlfriends.

However, there came a time, just before the two of you were about to go to college, that you both were single. The two of you decided to have a sleepover, so you could see what things the two of you had, as you were planning on sharing a dorm room together.

“Can I tell you something?” Julien asked, late into the night.

“Of course. What’s up?” you reply, barely awake.

“I don’t even know how much longer I would’ve been able to contain myself, but here goes. I really, really like you. And I have for the longest time. And all I want is to be with you.” she confesses, years of love she shoved down, for the sake of your friendship, finally released.

“Oh my god. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m so tired, and I can’t think straight, and just forget I did,” she rambles, before you pull her in for a kiss.

It’s better than the two of you ever imagined. It erupts butterflies in both of your stomachs, fireworks even. You pull her closer into you so she can straddle your lap, to which she does instantly. She places her hands on your shoulders while you cup her face. You pull away, touching your forehead with hers.

“I like you too.”

“No shit.”

You and Julien spend the rest of the night kissing, nothing more, and releasing whatever pent-up emotions the two of you had towards each other. The two of you enter college a couple, happier than ever.

And who could blame you? The person who knew you the best was now yours.

[circinuus]

(not bsd/genshin)

HELLO ARE YOU KIDDING ME SUZUME NO TOJIMARI IS CRAZY GOOD WHAT

if you haven't watched please DO NOT CLICK READ MORE, TRUST ME it contains heavy spoilers i need a place to ramble pls feel free to ignore hshs

first of all please don't look at me weird just because the trailer showed suzume kissing a chair lmao i promise it's actually cute trust me

secomd of all i wasn't lying about the graphics and cinematography. that part where suzume and souta closes the first door? then it cuts to the title screen with the main theme echoing? goosebumps. i regretted talking during that part.

and that last part in the ever-after? yk this is good when it reminds you to howl and sophie under the stars. and souta hugging suzume saying, "i'll meet you again"? then suzume and souta meets again in the exact manner they first met? i see the makoto shinkai has a style and im loving it lmao.

another personal favorite, suzume saying, "i want to try too!" and souta going, "suzume wa dame da!" man's nervous getting sat on by a girl, i mean valid man💀 but you're a chair so that's that /lh

also i love how theres a lot of theme going on: found family, lost family, grievance, acceptance, serendipity, sacrifice, love, compassion, the cycle of life. i didn't exactly cry but i have a feeling i will if i try hard enough lmaoo suzume and souta are so dear to me, and serizawa and tamaki and everyone, they're good ppl :')

some things i'm still mulling about though,

didn't suzume said, "mr. good-looking man, i feel like we've before?" then went, "oh shoot, i sound like i'm shooting my shot." this makes me wonder if suzume is really having that sense of deja-vu bevause otherwise, why would she ditch school and go look for some handsome man who asked her for directions? what i'm curious about is what suzume is actually feeling that time. deja-vu? deja-vu from where? either i'm trippin here or i was just not paying attention loll

mortals won't be able to cross the door to the ever-after. but smol-suzume can do that, and the big-suzume can do that via the same door. is it because her desire to find the person on the other side of the door so strong?

all in all it was a good movie. if someone makes an AU out of this i'm gonna eat that up 😩 lol imagine chuuya or kunikida being cursed to a chair by an ability or the like, and they're just frantically pattering around as we (or dazai, obvsly) get ourselves in danger 24/7 in trying to lift the curse.

[redgoldsparks]

Hi maia i just wanted to thank you for genderqueer i found it the other day in my library and translated into my language no less! There isn't a lot of progressive talk about trans issues in Poland and the translation of your book was the first book about nonbinary person in my language that i think i've ever seen. I never thought i would ever get to read it because the shipping prices are so high so i genuinely cried while i saw it on the shelf. I don't know how involved you are in translation process but it was such a well done job and the note the translators wrote at the beginning tought me more about nonbinary culture in my country than i've ever hoped i would get to know. Also I was wondering do you consult with translators what set of pronouns to use in other languages? I imagine it's a hard decision when the gender neutral pronouns don't have a direct counterpart. Sorry for rambling and thank you once again for this amazing book and for sharing your story <3

Thank you so much for this message! I am so glad you were able to find a Polish version! Polish and Czech were some of the very first foreign translations we sold, and I remember being very surprised, but very happy, because it was a few years ago when I was starting to hear about a rising wave of conservative politics in Poland. But a publisher took a chance on it and I'm very grateful <3

Yes, I generally consult on every single translation, for exactly the reason you pointed out: pronouns are different in every language! Some languages already have a widely used gender neutral pronoun set. Some languages have one that's new, but being developed by trans and nonbinary people today (like elle in Spanish). Some languages don't have any gendered pronouns to begin with! Because the English edition contains two different nonbinary pronoun sets (they/them/theirs and e/em/eir) we also have to decide how to distinguish between the two. What I always tell the translation team is: I would rather the translation be useful than faithful. I don't want to try and replicate the English. I want the book to demonstrate a pronoun set that could be practically used in the language it's being read in.

Generally, the publisher hires a professional translator and then often a second person who is trans or nonbinary to read over the translation and to write a forward, such as the Polish edition has. I believe the French edition has a forward as well. The only other language aside from English I can read halfway decently is Spanish, so I am always really glad to hear from someone who has read any of the other versions saying it was well done!

And for anyone else interested in Gender Queer in other languages, currently it has been released in Spanish, Polish, Czech, French, Italian, and Dutch with Norwegian, Portuguese (Brazil and Portugal), German, Japanese, and Korean forthcoming.

[misc-obeyme]

I'm torn between going in order of scenes or just rambling about whichever scene I can't stop thinking about, but right now this is what happens next lol

Mammon who feels like he's dreaming, and almost trips over his own feet when he turns around to start making my drink. His heart feels like it's beating faster than after he told Lucifer he bought a building and had to run away from the incoming lecture.

(I didn't think about the logistics of Mammon being the only one working there, and what the menu would be like. Pastries I feel last a lot longer, but simple stuff like egg/bacon/cheese sandwiches should be fine if prepped in the morning?? Mammon just heats them up. There's that, with other variations containing ham, no cheese, no egg, etc. )

Mammon is questioning life, because he didn't know that Solomon and I know each other. Because what are the chances !! The world is big and vast, so why are the three of them intertwined in each other's lives? He's half listening to me reiterating the bus situation to Solomon, who's finding it way too amusing.

He sneaks a glance, and tries very hard to ignore how cute Solomon looks when he's laughing. His eyes squeezed shut and a hand pressed to his forehead. And how I am moving my hands around animatedly as I talk, never able to keep them still. Always fiddling and fidgeting. His thoughts are interrupted by the beeping of the mini oven.

Mammon sets down a plate in front of me, with my usual croissant and sandwich, and a cup of hot coffee. I pause mid sentence, staring at the cup, then up at Mammon, and back again with utter confusion. I bite my lip to keep from laughing, because that's how I react when nervous, and thank Mammon while uncapping the lid to blow on the coffee.

"What? What's with that face?" "*coughs to stifle laughter* Nothing. Everything is great. I'm just gonna... Enjoy my hot coffee." "Does Mammon also know your order by heart and have it ready when you come in?" "I already told ya, I don't know anyone's order! I don't keep track of nothin'!" "Oh yeah, he already knows my order. I always text him when I'm on my way, and he always has it ready in a container to go because I take it to work. Sometimes he draws a smiley face or a music note and-" "Q-Quit tellin' him lies about what I do for ya, or I won't do it anymore!" "Aw, how come you don't draw on my orders, Mammon? Am I not a special regular too?" "What? Special?! I didn't say anyone was- *gets interrupted by someone walking up to the counter* this isn't over, ya hear?!"

"So, what was with the look you gave Mammon?" "Hm? Oh! Um... He made my drink hot instead of cold like I always get. I only get it cold because I don't have the patience or time to wait for it to cool. But I didn't have the heart to tell him, I didn't want to have him remake it when I'd enjoy it all the same." "Well, you have plenty of time now, right? There's no customers waiting for you. The record shop can wait for you to enjoy yourself. What are the chances of us all being here?" "What? Like fate? You think it's fate today happened?" "Can't a man believe in the magic of life?" "What are the two of you yapping about? How amazing my coffee is, right?"

I think it'd be funny if Solomon was cramming for a math exam. I can imagine Mammon blurting the answer out after glancing at the problem, and both Solomon and I are looking at him like he has a third head. Mammon starts explaining how he solved it and trying to walk us through it. Solomon is both confused and fascinated, meanwhile I'm intrigued but also getting flustered over Mammon being good at math. I am good at math (algebra specifically), but not geometry (or calculus)!! Geometry ruined my life.

The three of us getting lost in conversation, Mammon occasionally having to make orders. We all lose track of time, sometimes going on tangents to random topics. Maybe explaining to each other how we know each other. More math problems. Solomon mentioning he's stuck on a piece/score he can't complete, and had to take a break by focusing on something else. Also, that he can only spend so much time with the piano at school because of limited hours, his keyboard at his apartment can only help so much (ehehe, plot setup)

anyway, we lose track of time, with Mammon closing shop 40 minutes late. Solomon and Mammon exchanging numbers (I already had both of theirs), and we make a group chat because Solomon suggested we should hang out outside of the cafe (I HAVE GROUP CHAT NAME IDEAS)

The record shop ends up closed an extra day because I fell behind in my schedule. And it's not until Mammon is cleaning up, and me and Solomon have both left that he gets a text from me. 'Hot coffee ain't so bad after all :)' Mammon is staring at his phone, trying to decipher the message, and promptly yells into his apron after realizing he fucked up. Poor Mammon. OKAY IM DONE 😭 i am having too much fun i swear

- ✨ anon

OMG. I actually feel bad for Mammon, what an absolute cutie lol. Getting ganged up on by his two love interests and then realizing later that he messed up the coffee adlkfdjsfj

You had better be saving this somewhere other than my ask box, ✨ anon! That dialogue is excellent. They feel so in character, I love it!!

And of course I love Mammon being a whiz at math. Like without realizing it, too. I'm so terrible at math, I find it very impressive when people can do math in their heads.

(One could argue that there is math in music but I would rather die than think about that too deeply. I can just feel rhythms I don't need to count beats or think about metronomes or tempos thanks.)

I need to know the group chat name. Or the ideas for it! Only if you wish to divulge them, that is!

Thank you for bringing this story to me, it's like getting a little fic update in my ask box lol!!