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wanderpawn · 1 year ago

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My Dearest Furina

neuvifuri fluff ✧˖°.

word count: 3,085

summary: It's been a quite a few months since Furina has left the Palais Mermonia to live on her own, and her mental health hasn't been the best. But when she receives a letter from her closest friend Neuvillette, she decides it might be time to let her walls down for the person she trusts most.

warnings: tooth rotting fluff, descriptions of mental health medications and intrusive thoughts, they/them pronouns for neuvillette, neuvillette comes out as nonbinary

✧ sfw, fluff, slight hurt/comfort ✧

Furina gazed somberly at the colorful assortment of pills and capsules that speckled the white countertop she stood before. Her knees were weak, and her hands trembled inexplicably as she gripped the sharp edge, tears burning at the backs of her eyes.

The early sun’s rays reflected through the slightly dusty window that faced her on the other side of the counter in her new home. The light gleamed as it passed through the assortment of translucent orange bottles that lay about, the various names written upon them unpronounceable to the average person.

It had been quite a while now, since life had been this way; ever since Furina had lost her archonhood, and she had moved out of the Palais Mermonia, into her own smaller home.

It wasn’t the size of the home that bothered her, though. If she really had to admit it, it was the loneliness that came with it.

The loneliness of not leaving the house.

The loneliness of taking so many medications.

The loneliness of suffering from such awful thoughts.

And of course, the loneliness of being the only one who had to suffer from such curses.

The former Hydro Archon let out a shaky breath, releasing her clenched fists and moving to delicately brush the collection of pills off the kitchen surface and into her other hand. She tilted her head back, forcing the pills into her mouth and taking a sip of water, and then tilting forward, swallowing. Feeling herself gag, she quickly forced down more water, her hands shaking even more than before.

Once she recovered – as she now did twice a day, every day – Furina sank into her kitchen chair, picking up the day’s mail as she wiped her eyes with her free hand.

‘Bills… solicitors… news… catalogs… more bills…’

‘…Wait, what’s this…?’

Furina’s eyes widened as she gave the letter an anxious once-over.

‘I’d recognize that stationary anywhere.’

The ticklish burning sensation of unwarranted panic raced through her veins as she tore the envelope open, pulling out the heavy-weighted, satiny sheet of paper with her perpetually clumsy hands.

My Dearest Furina,

How has life been treating you? It has been quite a number of weeks since the last time we’ve met. It does make me wonder how often you leave your home, and for that I worry significantly.

If you happen to have some extra free time, do feel free to visit the Palais Mermonia whenever you are feeling up to it. I know I, as well as everyone else here, would be delighted to see you again.

I can’t speak for the others, but in my personal opinion, it’s been significantly duller around here without your presence, and I do find myself missing your charisma quite a bit. The halls are rather… empty.

If you can’t make it here in person soon, please at least let me know how you’re doing. As I said before, I worry about you quite a bit.

Most Fondly,

Neuvillette

A drop of water landed on the paper.

Then there was another one.

One after another, dark spots appeared on the smooth, ivory-colored sheet in her grip.

Furina lifted a hand to her face, and felt warm wetness streaking down her cheeks. The paper crinkled slightly in her other hand.

Oh… not again…

‘It seems like Neuvillette really… cares about me…’

He’s just sending me letters to be nice.

‘He’s a really good friend…’

He probably doesn’t miss me at all.

‘I should… go visit him…’

I mean nothing to him.

‘I’m… going to go visit him.’

Furina sat up in her chair. She sniffed loudly, and wiped the remaining tears off her cheeks with her sleeve.

“I’m going to go visit him,” she spoke aloud to herself. Her voice sounded weaker than she remembered.

Furina cleared her throat, and spoke, once again.

“I’m going to go visit Neuvillette.”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Furina sat awkwardly in a chair outside Neuvillette’s office. Her back was very straight, her feet flat on the floor, and her perpetually shaky hands rested in her lap as she nervously twirled her fingers.

After a few minutes, she heard a quiet stumble to her right. Her head snapped instinctively towards the sound, only to find Neuvillette resting his hand on the back of the chair she sat in.

“My apologies,” he spoke as he held his head in his other hand, “It seems I’ve lost my balance… again…”

Furina gave him a small smile. “Dummy… you should be using your cane. And not standing up so fast.”

He raised his head to face her and sighed. “Yes yes, I know, but isn’t it I who should be scolding you for not leaving your house for months on end? Let alone, for not coming here to visit me at all–”

“When did you become so needy?” Furina laughed.

Neuvillette frowned. “I am not needy, I’m just worried about you.”

“Yes, and we all needed a reminder of your massive crush on me after these past months of separation.”

The Chief Justice stood up straight once more, turning to walk towards his office.

“I feel as though you wish to continue this privately?”

Furina stood to follow him, her slightly shaky smile widening a tiny bit, as she could just barely make out from walking behind him that the tips of his ears were slightly tinted pink.

“I don’t see why not.”

・・・・・・・

Furina sank down into the soft, plush couch in Neuvillette’s office; a position she had been so familiar with for such a long time, and yet somehow she hadn’t even realized how much she missed it during the recent time she had been on her own. It almost felt… welcoming.

Neuvillette approached the coffee table, the tray of cakes and tea he held in his hands making delicate clinking noises as his hands trembled. Furina thought about how for as long as she had been friends with the Chief Justice, he had been shaky and clumsy. And although no one else was as lucky as she saw herself to be for getting to know this fact about him, she had never understood before why he was this way.

‘Now I understand… I’m the same way….’

Her typically awkward friend carefully placed the tray down on the table in front of her, then sat down on the couch directly across from her, folding his hands in his lap. Although his actions were in character, he seemed significantly more relaxed than had been for quite some time.

Furina smiled at him, and he gave a small smile back.

“So… I suppose we should start off with the basics,” Neuvillette spoke finally, after a few minutes of the pair staring at each other with blank smiles on their faces.

“How have you been, Furina?”

Furina’s smile stiffened slightly, though she maintained it well.

“Good, good…” She twirled her hands in her lap anxiously. “Yes, I’ve been quite alright.”

The Hydro Dragon’s expression softened as he reached for his glass.

“Are you sure?”

The two of them made eye contact as he took a sip of water.

Furina’s gaze danced about the many objects and furniture that decorated the room.

‘She’s anxious…’

Placing the glass on the table once more, Neuvillette had a concerned expression on his face. “You can tell me what’s going on, you know. I still care about you quite a bit, Furina.”

The former Archon shuffled awkwardly in her seat.

‘Should I just tell him what’s going on…?’

Of course not, he doesn’t really care about you.

‘I don’t want to listen to these thoughts anymore…’

Nobody will ever understand you.

‘Maybe… maybe I'd feel better… if I could just talk to someone…’

Furina glanced up, locking eyes with Neuvillette. An expectant, yet worried look contorted his features.

Furina swallowed the lump in her throat.

“I just… my thoughts… they’ve been… torturing me…”

Her eyes flickered out the colorful stained glass window, where the sun’s rays peeked out from behind a couple of slightly gloomy, gray clouds.

“...What do you mean by that?”

“You… probably wouldn’t get it…”

There was a pause.

“I’d like to hear about it anyway.”

Furina’s gaze snapped to meet Neuvillette’s, and the smallest, yet most comforting smile pulled at his lips.

She took a deep breath. “Well… I suppose they won’t… shut up…. They’ve just been so… doubtful… Telling me everything I’ve done wrong… and that people don’t actually like me…. That my friends don’t actually like me… Like you, who I know in my heart would never be mean to me. And yet, the doubt is always there. It never goes away anymore.”

Neuvillette was silent for a moment, with a contemplating expression on his face. He stood slowly, walking over to the large window. He placed his hand against the clean glass, and Furina knew he was watching for signs of rain.

“I’m sorry…” she mumbled, staring at her hands that rested in a knot atop her thighs.

“Do not apologize,” the Chief Justice turned towards his friend once more. He appeared much more somber now than he did when they first sat down together.

“I think I know exactly what you mean.”

Hearing this, Furina’s eyes widened.

Neuvillette made his way back over to the sitting area, however, this time he sat next to Furina, a few safe inches away from her. He faced straight forward, his eyes fixated on something across the room. Furina tilted her head to look up at his face, her own expression softening as she thought about how small the distance was between them at the moment. She was so focused on her friend’s words and proximity that she didn’t even notice her heartbeat quickening slightly.

“When the thoughts begin racing, there is not much one can do to ease their anxiety,” Neuvillette spoke slowly, deliberately. “I have experienced the same phenomenon too many times to count. For me, however, it is more about the undeniable fact that others do not view me as I view myself.”

“Ah… I know you’ve always felt like an outsider in Fontaine… That’s what you’re talking about, right?”

Now it was Neuvillette’s turn to take a deep breath. His posture faulted slightly, his hands resting loosely on his knees. It seemed to Furina as though he was avoiding eye contact.

“Of course, that is always a given… Though I am intentionally describing something I’ve meant to tell you for quite some time now. Because you’re talking about intrusive thoughts, which I also experience, and I want you to know that you are not alone. Which is why I’ll tell you that… I am not as masculine as you might think I am. In fact… I am not a man at all.”

Furina blinked a few times to clear her blurry eyes. When her eyes focused again, Neuvillette seemed to be looking at her through his peripheral vision, their gazes locking.

“Why… did you wait over five hundred years to tell me such an important fact about yourself, Neuvi?” She smiled weakly.

“I was waiting for the right time,” He replied stiffly. “Now, please, let us continue to talk about your intrusive thoughts.”

Furina reached over to take one of his hands in hers; an impulse scarcely acted on between the two of them, despite how often it has been experienced by both parties. Neuvillette’s gaze settled on their locked fingers.

“What pronouns would you prefer I use for you?”

“That’s quite alright, Furina– you don’t need to change the way you speak. I know it’s too inconvenient–”

“Nonsense,” She scooted closer to him. “I want you to be happy with how people see you. And you can start by telling me.”

Neuvillette averted his gaze, his cheeks flushed from the embarrassment of being in the spotlight– even if it was with the person he trusted the most out of anyone.

“Ah– they… they/them… would be nice,” Their grip on her hand tightened, and they used their other hand to shield their nervous face from their friend’s anticipatory eyes.

“Got it,” Furina smiled reassuringly.

Silence filled the room once more as Neuvillette attempted to calm their nerves. Furina took the opportunity to rest her head against their shoulder, which only made them blush more.

“...Are we going to talk about intrusive thoughts again…?” Neuvillette finally spoke as they stared at their intertwined hands, which rested atop the now nonexistent gap between the two of them.

“Hm?” Furina looked up at them, her soft eyes and her gentle smile warming Neuvillette’s heart.

“T-the conversation… about intrusive thoughts…?” They smiled awkwardly back at her.

“Oh! Right,” Furina sat up once more, and the sudden lack of warmth against their shoulder made Neuvillette shiver slightly. “I was so distracted from your confession that I totally forgot about our conversation!” She replied, twirling her hair with her free hand.

“I guess… I just feel so weighed down by all the nagging in my head… it’s always beating me up and making me feel awful about every little thing I do… And it’s gotten a whole lot worse since I started living on my own…”

Neuvillette sighed. “May I offer some words of wisdom? Based on personal experience, of course.”

Furina looked up at them, their eyes meeting once more. She nodded quietly.

Still smiling softly at her, Neuvillette began,

“I believe when a person worries about things excessively for no good reason until it becomes detrimental to their health, it is important to think of the source of the thoughts… When you worry about if you’ve fallen into another pattern of constantly playing a part in your daily life; or maybe wondering whether other people see you as a man, woman, or your ideal neutral self; or even something more trivial, like if you turned the lights off in the kitchen before you left to go shopping; perhaps it can be because it’s what you’ve always done for so long… so long that you get accustomed to it, and then the pattern becomes impossible to break. So it’s almost like every time you start to think about breaking the pattern, you have to commit to becoming an entirely new person. And then, even after you’ve gotten halfway to your goal, it can all come crashing down on you at any moment, and you’ll have to start all over again, from the very beginning.”

They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. But finally, Neuvillette’s blush had grown too obvious, and they turned their head to shield their face with their hand once more, thus breaking eye contact.

As Neuvillette faced the other direction, Furina shifted her position until she was sitting in their lap, with her arms tightly wrapped around them, her head resting on their chest and a content smile on her face.

“Ah… Furina, what are you doing…?” Neuvillette’s hands hovered in the air on either side of her, their face tinted a sweet sanguine shade.

“It’s called cuddling, Neuvi. And you’re supposed to hug me back!”

“Whatever you want is fine with me,” They replied, moving their arms to gently encircle Furina’s slightly smaller frame. One of their hands softly brushed against her ends of her fluffy bob haircut as they pulled her close. Glancing down at her face, which was only inches from their own, they saw her eyes were shut, and she was breathing rhythmically.

“Furina,” Neuvillette whispered. “Are you asleep…?”

The perpetually stressed former Archon stirred slightly, but she remained calm. Then, she drowsily whispered her reply, “You’re so… comforting… Do you know that? You’re my favorite Hydro Dragon…”

Neuvillette’s face had a tint of sadness to it. They empathized greatly with the insurmountable amount of pain Furina must have gone through in the past months, centuries, her entire life– and they really took to heart for the nth time the sorrow of having had to go through it all alone.

They slowly moved a hand towards Furina’s forehead, gently brushing her bangs aside. They couldn’t feel the texture of her skin through their gloves, but Neuvillette could tell her skin was warm and flushed. Leaning forward, they placed a loving kiss to her forehead. Furina wouldn’t remember it, and if you asked Neuvillette about it, they would deny it. But despite the fact that at the time, neither of them completely realized the full extent of their feelings for each other; the words “I love you” remained unspoken in the air that surrounded them, as they both finally felt at peace in the other’s embrace.

Despite their lack of understanding of human emotions, the Hydro Dragon– Furina’s Favorite Hydro Dragon, mind you– had somehow been left with an almost giddy smile on their face. They closed their eyes, muttering one last hope to their dearest friend before they drifted off to sleep.

“I wish for this world to be more gentle on you, my dearest Furina…”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

~ Bonus context/conversation that I couldn’t fit into the story ~

“So, Neuvillette– how did you figure out you were nonbinary~?”

“Ah, um… well… you know how Archons are inherently genderless?”

“Hmm… yes, I think so…”

“Actually… Dragons are much the same. It was only when I gained a human form when I began to be addressed as ‘Monsieur.’ Indeed, it wasn’t my choice, but I just went along with it… Until now, anyway.”

“I see, I see… so you never had a gender in the first place?”

“...Yes, indeed… accompanied by my general lack of understanding of human mannerisms… Well, I never quite understood the whole concept of ‘gender’ at all. Which I think is what led to the piled-up insecurities that drove me to inform you, finally.”

“Hmm… Well, nonetheless, I’m very glad you told me. You can tell me what’s going on, you know. I still care about you quite a bit, Neuvi.”

“Hold on… aren’t those the words I said to you that day?”

“Teehee~!”

“Sigh… It is good to see you acting more playful, though…”

“Only for you, my Most Favorite Hydro Dragon~!”

“How many other Hydro Dragons do you know, anyway?”

“N-none in particular… ehehehe…. But you’re definitely my favorite!”

“You’re… my favorite, too…”

And from that day on, Furina continued to introduce Neuvillette as her “Favorite Hydro Dragon, Neuvillette. For their gender is not Monsieur, nor Madame, but much rather, Hydro Dragon.” (Although they could never stop themselves from getting embarrassed any time Furina mentioned any of that to other people.)

notes: thank you so much for reading ! i hope you enjoyed my little self-indulgent brainrot fic :D

if you want to see the fic on ao3, here's the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51636109

#neuvifuri #focallette #furina x neuvillette #fanfiction #genshin fanfic #genshin impact #genshin #furina #neuvillette #fontaine #neuvifuri fluff #they/them neuvillette #trans neuvillette #i really hope you'll get what i'm trying to express here ;;#welcome to the peanut gallery ! 🥜

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