#[THERES SO MANY LITTLE THINGS ABOUT JACK I NEVER GET TO EXPLORE]

[the-s1lly-corner]

Eyeless Jack x reader but the reader is stuck in a time loop

very very unique to my oc but im too embarassed to just outright make ship stuff so you guys are never going to get lore other than "theyre stuck in a death/time loop but literally anything can happen and theyre stuck and theyre the only one who remembers. dont piss off horrors beyond your comprehension" so uhuh yeah might do another post with this but for slenderman x timeloop!reader because i think that would be a cool thing to explore given hes well aware of weird stuff in the world + itll give him something to work with but shrugs

admittedly this idea came to me from the "do you think we're (blank) in every universe?" trend. like imagine jack asks that during a moment of light heartedness but you know the truth

bonus if this is the first "time" you two got together and he doesnt know

if knows about your time loop thing and believes you i dont think he would ask much about it, i dont think he would be curious about whether or not you guys have been together before

actually this might cause some unsavory issues because in a way, you get to have a free do over

what if you get tired, and want to hop onto someone else ?

obviously in order for there to be a reset you need to die, but that kind of slips his mind

actually.. lets touch up on that idea, again assuming he believes you on the time loop thing and you can somehow prove it.. and he understands the rules around it he might try to keep you by his side. call it paranoia, but he doesnt want you to die

with other readers hes more relaxed but theres something about the combined idea of this just being over in a snap mixed in with you possibly not coming back in the loop

it doesnt matter to him if he would remember or not, hes thinking about now in the current round of the cycle

i think, you two might try to work together to find a way to break the cycle.. usually he wants to stay away from that sort of thing, considering his own personal curse-thing going on with him

but seeing your suffering kind of pushes him to act

ooooooooh my god imagine you die and the time resets and you bump into again and he catches that look of longing you give him before breaking away

doesnt usually chase unless you got too close to the cabin or already wounded... the look in your eyes convinced him even more to not attack

i dont know its a little tragic when you think about it

hes still going to end up alone but unaware that there was something there, while youre made to carry these memories and so many more with each reset

[jxckspxcer]

okey i gotta start another big project next week so let’s just say the activity here is gonna be.... v limited

[swtki]

Cedric Diggory NSFW Alphabet

Pairing: Cedric Diggory x Fem! Reader

A/N: I’m gonna be working on more headcannon stuff like this, so follow me if you want to see them when they are posted!

WARNINGS: SMUT, ORAL SEX (F RECIEVING), MENTIONS OF PUBLIC SEX, 18+ ONLY

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I think Ced won’t hesitate to clean his partner up. Just a warm rag and quick wipe. Sometimes Ced will pass out as soon as he hits the mattress, but most times he’ll hold his naked body to yours and talk until you fall asleep. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite part of your body is your lips, for sure. He loves to watch them wrap around things, even when you put his finger into your mouth it drives him mental. His favorite part of himself is hands, he has fairly large hands so everything in them looks small. He loves that when he holds your waist its like his hands were meant to be there. Not to mention his long fingers, one hand can do so many wonders. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I honestly don’t see him as someone who loves anything to do with cum. He would be more than happy to wear a condom while you’re dating, because that way he can make sure you enjoy it without the worries of unprotected sex. I also can see him not wanting to go raw because so many things could go wrong, but if you’re on birth control he will definitely be persuaded to pull out. Once he pulls out the first time he is utterly hooked and loves cumming on your stomach while you lay there on your back, looking all fucked out.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Not to say that Cedric secretly wants to explore public sex, however I am saying every time you two go out hes thinking of railing you in an alley against a brick wall. He loves public affection in a sfw way so I think he would be eager to explore nsfw public stuff. Now this all being said, he doesn’t ask you for a long time though, until you’re walking home from the shops and he starts to kiss you because god you look so gorgeous in the soft lighting, and then the kiss gets more intense. Then, he basically says fuck it and asks you if he can eat you out on the wall.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Like I said in Cedrics headcannon post, I doubt he lost his virginity with anyone other than Cho when they were maddly in love. When he meets you he wants to be nothing less than perfect. When things started to get serious in your relationship he swallowed his pride and looked up sex tips because he was worried he wasn’t experienced enough. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Cowgirl. No doubt about it. He loves how accessible it is for you, he can rub your clit, he can be chest to chest and thrust into you, he can be hypnotized by your perfect tits, it has everything. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Theres times where he kills the moment because he makes a joke in between thrusts, but more often than not hes got his head in the game. It will always start of playful and innocent with Cedric, but as soon as hands start roaming, he gets focused on the task at hand.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He isn’t shaven, but tidy for sure. Just a nice little bit at the base and he’s groomed. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Cedric loves nothing more than to brush the hair out of your face and stare into your eyes while your blissed out. Also he loves kissing and touching even before clothes come off. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I can see Cedric having a pretty high sex drive and sometimes you have to tap out for the night because your body can only take so much, so he’ll for sure be rubbing one out in the bathroom as soon as you fall asleep. He doesn’t mind of course, he’d rather you be comfortable even if that means he has to jerk off in the shower to the memory of twenty minutes prior.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I thoroughly believe that Cedric Diggory has a praise kink. He loves nothing more than growling “So fucking perfect, my perfect fucking girl” into your ear during sex. I also think he has a roleplay kink, because you dressed up as a nurse for halloween and he was in another dimension.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

As I said previously, Cedric likes the idea of walls. However, I think he much prefers the bed or floor of your room. It just feels like you two are the only ones in the world and he cant deny how much of an angel you look like while surrounded by his soft white sheets. He would settle for a car, but your home is much better.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Kissing is his number one movement to start things off, so I think just kissing him would make him ready to go. I can see him having a thing for lip biting, especially when you’re reading or doing some other innocent task.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

If its something you don’t like, he won’t ever do it. He draws the line at bodily injury and excretory body fluids, Cedrics not hardcore like that. Wouldn’t mind choking you but he could never slap you or hurt you in any other way.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Cedric prefers giving, he feels bad because he takes so long to finish so he always leaves it up to you. He is an absolute got at eating coochie though, he pays attention to what you do and don’t like. And he would honestly eat you out anywhere. Like sometimes he just drops to his knees and hikes your leg up. His eyes when he looks up at you tho....fuck.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Definitely depends on the moment but I think most of the time he’s sensual and slow. He wants the world to stop and for it to only be your bodies moving in sync with each other, and especially so he can look into your eyes while he gets you closer and closer to orgasm.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Loves the whole rose petal romantic 2 hour long sex thing but will rip off your underwear in a closet to eat you out if he can.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He only takes risks by asking about something. He would always get your consent before anything else happens, so he knows worst you could do is say no. That being said, if you ask him 97% of the time he’s on board. Public sex took some convincing but he was in love with it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

I just think he’s ready to eat pussy 24/7 despite how hard he is. He’s horny all the time (in spirit if not physically) so I think he would go for multiple rounds. Though he will eventually get tired in one position, so you end up switching through 50 different positions in the span of the hour.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

The only toys Cedric uses on his partner are handcuffs at most. He prefers to use his skill because after all, he’s the one who should be making you feel that good.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Cedric isn’t the tease, you are. He wants you but simply can’t take you from behind during potions class, so he rests his hand on your thigh. He secretly loves how cocky you get, and secretly you love how turned on he is from your legs.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Listen to me: breathy moans. He’ll get so close to your ear and start whisper-moaning the most risque words. But, volume wise he’s quiet and he prefers it that way. He never wants to drown out the pretty mewls you make because of his fingers and cock.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He eats pussy that way iykyk. I’m glad every fic writer agrees that Ced is a pussy conesiour, because he loves grabbing your hips and pulling you down closer on his tongue, thats non negotiable. He probably has the strongest tongue in the world.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He thought he was small until he met you and was like “Sorry, I’m not that impressive 😔” then pulled out 6 inches of cervix shattering dick. Its thick too, but not like the porn-type thick, like it fits in your hand comfortably and fills you up perfectly.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Like I said: Always horny. Every time he watches you bite your lip he’s got a million things he wants to do to you in a broom closet.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He would rather watch you fall asleep even if that meant he never slept. But once he knows you’re sleeping, he wraps his body around yours with his chin on your shoulder and falls asleep. Prefect rooms= naked naps.

Taglist: @annasdani @mullthingsoverinthehotwater @faeinorbit @anchoeritic @cedricsyellowscarf

[holylulusworld]

Requests *Series only*

I will add all requested series to this post from now on.

Jensen x Reader

Kinky is the new vanilla (part 3/? posted) ON HIATUS

Can you do one where Jensen has always been very vanilla in sex but the reader feels lik his holding back, and one day she talks about exploring kinks and they find out he's actually very kinky. Maybe turn it in to a series if you want, they could try a different link in every chapter. Last one could be breeding kink, where they get the happy ending. Just an idea you don't have to made a series out of it if you don't want to.

Can you write mouth fucking with Jensen, where the reader is laying down with her head out of the bed so he can go deep? Thank you!

She’s my future Part 3/5  published

can you write something like stepdaughter but reader being Jensen new wife,much younger than him, Jensen being her first guy and danneel try to being a bitch with her,tell Jensen she cheat on him,supportive Jared and Genevieve and when the reader is pregnant she always stressed and crying for how danneel treat her and jensen loose it because she can lost the baby for the stress (part1) (Part2)-> jj and the twins love her and she treat the child like his own, Genevieve is always with here when the boys films and when danneel treat her bad, but at the end Danneel accept her because she see how jens love her more than anything and ask forgiveness to reader and becomes friends, I want so much angry Jensen to tell her that he’s the reader first and supportive Jensen with reader when she vomit and heartbroken. Fluff,smutty,angst,drama,baby arrivals(She’s an actress on spn)A SERIES

Having my baby

I really love your writing. I was wondering if you could write a series about ( Jensen x Daughter ) age 17 she is in high school and attends a party with her friends and hooks up with someone at the party and gets pregnant. She doesn’t know how to tell Danneel or Jensen. When she does they are a little mad but except her. She keeps the baby, and we see her journey with being pregnant and having the child ( girl - Camila ) and we see y/n grow up and finds someone and falls in love.

Fighting for my love

Summary: Jensen and Y/N met when she started working on Supernatural as a new regular star. As time goes by, they fall in love and start a relationship. The only problem? Jensen is married. No one knows Jensen's marriage is fake, he and his wife are only still together for appearances and for the kid's sake. Jensen's marriage crumbled down when Danneel had an affair with one of Jensen's good friends. Keeping a friendship between them has been hard. Jensen is hurt, not because his ''former'' wife has someone else but because she cheated on him and on top of that Danneel still maintains a relationship with his friend, but they try to be civil for the kids' sake. Even though they are no longer together, and she cheated on him, Jensen told his wife about his relationship with Y/N. Jensen and Y/N have been together for a year now. It's been a long time since Jensen as felt this happy and then his live crumbles down all over again. Danneel is jealous of Y/N, the fact she has a boyfriend doesn't matter all that matters is that Y/N is a treat to Danneel, with Y/N in the way she will never be able to get all Jensen's money so she hires a P.I. to take photos of Jensen 'cheating' on her with Y/N. Danneel blackmails Jensen into breaking up with Y/N saying she will destroy his career if he keeps a relationship with the girl. And just like that Jensen’s life become miserable again.

Dean x Reader

The Italian touch (Series) Part 9/12 published

Request: Could you write a dean x reader virgin series? She’s not so skinny, have curves and take place in leviathan period? She’s in her twenties and bobby kinda adopted her she’s not American but italian and alone in the world? Please

My little Ninja-girl Part 4/? published

If possible can I request a dean series fic were the reader is a bamf hunter tht specializes in knifes but mainly with her 2 katanas & is expert in hand2hand but theres a twist shes got a secret that she keeps hidden from everyone shes a little & has never had a daddy & 1 night her secret comes out Idk how u can do watever u want wth it I just want dean as protective daddy & tells everyone off when they say smethng or watever & as much smut u r willin 2 give us ☺☺ if u don't want 2 I understand

Innoncent Life SERIES

can you do a series of deanxreader (she’s virgin,25 years) like Bella pregnancy on Breaking dawn and the daughter like reenesme? It’s a idea 💕 maybe in moc dean conceived with dean when he had the mark and he thinks the baby is bad but the baby is pure like Reader even if she’s in a bad shape during pregnancy(like Bella) and every time dean help her shower he suffer for her? Angst smutt fluff happy ending (bad guy that want the baby, badass reader) with Sammy,Charlie,cas,Rowena and Crowley🔥❤️

A brand-new life Part 2/? published ON HIATUS

Dean and reader where best friends and in love with each other,she’s younger than him and Sam and still virgin because she for only one guy thighs.When dean go to purgatory her and Sam try to start a new life in charming and tell everyone that are brother and sister(she use the Winchester name)Sam find work in teller officine and her in the bar of the sons and Jax start a crush for her and Gemma likes her so much but,she’s so reserved and every night cry for dean with Sammy hugs ... But one day Jax asks her out and Sammy tell her to give a try that he likes Jax and sometimes he remembers him Dean,so they start dating but nothing more like kiss or make out session because she still heartbroken for D,she have a necklace with D ring. But what happened when Dean come back at their door one night? (The clubs knows who dean is)Angst,Crying,Smut,Fluff,Humor(She will always choose Dean over everyone and lost virginity with him after all)Happy Ending, maybe a wedding?Chubbygirl

Broken WORKING TITLE open for suggestions (Miniseries) COMING SOON

I really love your work . I have a pretty long request to write a series . Reader meets dean when she is travelling with her sister or mom who is a witch, it’s up to you to make the reader a witch or a human . So dean is also hunting a witch but that isn’t the reader’s sister . Maybe add a first kiss stuff here . In the end dean hunts the witch who was actually killing and lets reader and her sister or mom go . Now many years later reader calls dean and tells that their sister/mom is missing. Part (2) actually the readers sister / mom was taken by lucifer to renew his vessel and that was the reason the reader contacts dean . Now they all help find the reader’s sister/ mom and if you want add some smut between the reader and dean as they both have feelings for each other . At the end reader sacrifices herself to save dean and others . But then she isn’t then . Lucifer makes her his sex slave thingy and rapes her ( if you don’t wanna write this thing it’s alright ) Part (3) then the reader escapes but turns out she is pregnant with jack . Now she comes meet dean. And starts living at the bunker . Now this part would be really angsty and sad , as the reader is dying and dean loves her but reader wants to keep her baby . And the final part takes place in season 12 finale as the reader gives birth and dies and you know they confess their love . It was just a story I thought in the shower and well I thought you might wanna write it .

Let’s explore love SERIES

Can you do kinky is the new vanilla series with dean to but she’s virgin,insecure of herself for her not perfect breast and stretch marks and because she’s not skinny like other girls but have curves? But dean he’s so in love with her, she’s his best friend and they talk of everything and dean trust her so much and her and Sammy are like siblings 💕 thank u with a wedding and pregnancy/baby end?

Fifty shades of Dean Winchester

can you write a deanxreader like fifty shades series,but they are hunters she’s younger,curvy,virgin and Bobby adopted her? (She’s like Ana only daughter and with no parents) when her and dean are close but she’s the one who like Ana with Christian make him love? A series pls thank u About the fifty shades request angst too because at the the broke up just like Ana and Christian story but with them hunters thank u

Unrequited Part 18/20 published

Can I request a series about arranged marriage with dean? John and reader’s father had an agreement their oldest children had to get married? It’s an unrequited love because dean was in love with Lisa, the reader knew about the arrangement but Dean didn’t. The reader sort of grew up with the boys, she solo hunts after her father died and soon she joined them, so she keep quite because she loves him so much and wants him to be happy even Sam doesn’t know the arrangement until Angst+drama happens. (Yes he’s with Lisa, About the ending is all up to you it could be Happy ending or Happy ending-ish , Yessss you can add smut!!!!!!! Oh also I kinda feel like the reader is badass hunter but not like “Dean” badass it’s more like she’s badass but delicate, sweet and innocent at the same time... does that make sense?)

Witchcraft

Hey!! Can I request a series if it's not too much trouble, I hope you like the idea and also it’s kind of long so I’ll be sending several asks with the plot hehe. It’s with Dean x Reader, they've known each other since high school but lost touch for a few years and were reunited during a hunt (she's a hunter too). /1/ And after some time they start dating and she moves into the bunker but she never told him that she's a witch and has been since high school (she uses her powers to help people and do good) because she knows how Dean feels about witches and thought that he would get angry and leave her (basically be all Dean about it), Sam doesn’t know either. Then during a hunt it almost goes sideways but didn’t because she uses her powers to save the Winchesters and kills the monster. /2/ Dean and Sam can’t believe it and Dean feels so betrayed he doesn’t talk to the reader on the way back to the bunker. When they get home Dean and the reader have a fight and he asks her if she ever used magic on him to make him fall in love with her, of course she never did but he doesn’t believe her and they break up and she moves out. Months go by, Sam keeps in touch with the reader but Dean doesn’t even want to talk about her (even though he misses her like crazy). /3/ Sorry if the end is rushed and not as detailed as the first part but I didn’t have an idea of how to end it, so feel free to write any ending you think fits better. That’s it! I really hope you like it :) /5/

Crowley’s daughter

1). I wanna request something new! How about reader is Crowley's adopted human daughter (since she was very young) & as the years goes, she grown into a beautiful, curvy, innocent, intelligent, smart & stubborn women. She can fight (for self-defense) but is not in that business. Reader & Winchesters haven't met yet because Crowley don't want to. But due to Winchesters being famous & all one-day Reader finally meets them (how & why it's up to you) 2). She & Dean clicked. Fall in love. Fluffy & happy ending please. Reader is a normal human. Crowley don't like it one bit, but he is quite for his daughter. Threatens Dean to not use her. Maybe married & a kid after some years!? Please?

The replacement

Sorry I’m requesting again. A fic set during the time when Dean goes to hell or Dean goes to Purgatory. The reader and Dean were always in love with each other and everyone knew but they never really got together. When Dean ‘dies’ the reader confides in Sam and they practically get together. But when Dean comes back things get complicated. In the end she ends up with Dean. Very angsty with a plus size/curvy reader please!!!

Dean x Reader x Sam

Our Girl Part 8/? published

I feel bad for making a request. But can I ask for a mafia type fic, where Sam and Dean run ‘the family business’. Maybe involve Cas or John or some other beloved characters in the mafia too. And the reader is this plus size/curvy girl that finds herself thrown into their world. All the smutttttttt!!!

Love finds it way COMING end of August

(1) Dean × Reader × Sam. childhood friendship or After 2/3 years of friendship. When reader gets kidnapped & torture. Winchester brothers are going mad without her in worry & they realize their love for her. After savings her & bringing her back to healthy (takes 2-3weeks) they confess their feelings that they love her. Reader also loves them too. & They promise to make everything workout. Some lovely fluff & sweet & protective Sam & overprotective Dean. They are best team ever together. (2) Get back to their normal new life with some soft, lingering touches, kisses, winks & teasing here & there. They are super happy. When John & Marry come back from dead. You all are very happy. But as they (john & marry) realize the relationship between brothers are reader. The insult reader Pretty badly when the boys are not around, as to make her leave the bunker. So lately readers avoid brothers & becomes more & more silent. (3) She doesn't want to be a reason for the fight between brothers and parents. But one day boys caught John calling reader a slut & mary glaring & throwing other insults to her. & Reader silently listening and not saying anything as to respect her. Boys defend her. Tell them they love her & make them happy. Pretty big argument & fight. As they fight reader runs to her room & shuts the door & cry for a whole day, thinking that she feared this would happen one day or the other. (4) Sam & Dean convince their parents to give this relationship a chance. Smoothing reader by boys. On coming time their parents notice how reader even take care of small things, need & behavior changes in Sam & Dean & try to make them happy. Reader can understand the mood & needs of boys before they can even say, as she knows them too well. John & marry once listened as she blamed herself for fight between parents and brothers. So they feel guilty & apologies. (5) They slowly warm up to reader & came to accept & love her. Some years later married with brothers, reader announcing she is pregnant with twins. Girl from Dean & Boy from Sam. Please involve the different phases of pregnancy & morning sickness, weird craving, baby kicks, etc. Child birth. Happiness in family. Taking kids home. Dipper duty for Sam & Dean & reader is too tired & all. Lots of Fluff. Breakfast in bed. (6) Some years later, twins being 5-6 years old. Full family, kids, daddies & grandparents give reader a surprise birthday party & pamper her full day. Full family dinner & movie night. Putting kids to bed & reader & Sam & Dean sharing a bed after having sex. & They remind her that she is an amazing mother & wife & that they said they would make is work out while cuddling. Happy ending & lots of fluff

Jared x Reader

Watching for Comets  COMING SOON - WIP

Request: I was wondering if you could write a Jared x reader series. They used to be a couple, but their careers took them on different paths. Eventually they end up meeting again on SPN. I got inspired to come up with this idea from a lyrics from Skillet's Watching For Comets. "You were a comet and I lost it Watching for comets, will I see you again? Everybody needs someone but they can't feel like this How can I breathe with this burning s burning in my chest? You were gone so fast" They haven't seen each other in years and now they forced to play love interest that could be the angst part. Smut, fluff, happyend, some drama

Jensen/Dean

Mixed up worlds

Hi dear! Can I request a series where due to some witch Dean & Jensen are exchanged in their world taking each other's place. Total confusion. Then accept. Realise their importance & how lovely they & their family. Working with their alternate family. Tips for their reader to confess their feelings. Back to their universe/dimensions. Happy endings. Dean×Y/N (not confess because they are they). Happy fluffy endings. Smutty & confession for Dean!

Complicated

Can you do a three parts or series when reader is adopted by the boys in levy period she’s younger than both, one day her and the boys got zap in the spn tv universe on jensen door, hosts them in his home calling Jared trying to find a way to send them home, the reader is not part of the series so when jensen ask dean who she is dean seeing how jens looks at her tell she’s his girl, now her and dean have a complicated relationship (1) (2) dean had taken her virginity she had sex only with him but he’s to ass to admit his in love with her and want more, she’s heartbroken for that and Sammy is protective of her. For a week the boys stay in jensen home and everytime reader see jensen with his kids and danneel she have teary eyes, she’s not talking with dean and dean is going insane for that. One day danneel see how reader is watching at jensen playing with the kids and hugging her reader start crying (3) dee tell her that she’s watching them with so much love,she tell dee that jens have the same face of dean and she can’t stop thinking of having this with him when dee see behind reader dean and Sam earring them she tell her what’s stopping her of having that so she says that she’s ugly and dean don’t want girl like her that she’s just the comfort fuck after the nightmare, dee lock disappointment at dean then touching reader checks (4) dee say to her that since she come in her house jens fell in love with her how every night he tell her that he understands why dean loves her reader apologies to dee for that but dee laugh tell her that she know jens loves her but for some motives loves reader too then when dee see dean watching angry at jens who is earring too dee says to dean that at least jens had the balls to says that even if his married with her, when dean yell at jens he run away to not let them see him crying (5)reader go after him when she see him crying hug him telling him to stop pretending they’re not soul mate,she want him not jensen,she wish it was dean with they’re kids dean says something too,make love with the next morning when during breakfast jared is there too when dean and reader enter the room Jar says to jens & Sam why the Winchester have her and in the tv serie not when dean grunt something how fake Sammy want his girl too while she kiss his cheek whispering how only him can have her (6) dean smirk, reader talk with dee with jj on reader lap both dean/jens are watching reader talk with jj with adoration when cass pops up telling that reader in not in the series since she’s from this world taken in spn universe since she’s dean soul mate for that she’s much younger than him. When they have to come back twins/jj can’t stop hugging her jens too and dee is crying for loosing her. Jens jar threatens dean to treat her good or Sammy will beat him for them too (7) back at the bunker reader is a little sad because she can’t have that family with dean so she go bed, Sam tell dean why she’s sad dean go to her hugging her for behind that he will try to give her what she wish. Two years later jens door ring when he open dean reader with a one year baby in her hand and a big 6 months bump with Sam are at the door, jens go straight to reader dean grunt how fake him keep wanting his wife dee screaming when she see her the kids exited (8) dinner together, dee keep touching her bump and telling her that jens is jealous dean knocked her girls laughing dean going behind reader hugging her telling that when that pops out he puts another inside, flushed reader , dinner talking end with dean and reader in bed cuddling talking back at the bunker .... angst smutt fluff humor possessive protective dean

NON SPN

Dark Angel

More than a little girl    Part 4/? published ON HIATUS DUE TO NONE EXISTENCE INTEREST

Alec McDowell reader as many parts &smut as u wnt were a group of transgenetics escape from manticore including alec max & reader but the reader is like the runt of the group like small but curvy & everyone underestimates her but wat they dont no is tht shes diff she can transition her face like they do off tvd as the group escapes they r surrounded by soliders and cant do anything then the reader takes them out and everyones amazed u can write how ever u want the reader  and alec to be 2gether

[saints-row-2]

film watch day 31: Every Halloween Film

happy Halloween today i watched every Halloween film currently available to me. i couldnt get to rewatch Halloween 2018 but i already wrote about it a couple of weeks back so feel free to revisit that post. anyway, i watched ten Halloween movies today. It took around 17 hours. i started at 11:15am and im writing this now at 6 am.

so lets get to the post. for the most part i went in chronological order, except i chose to start with Rob Zombie’s remakes because i knew if i didnt id be finishing the day by watching them at the break of dawn and the idea of doing that was so fucking putrid to me that i decided to get them out of the way first.

Halloween (2007)

i hate this fucking movie. i mentioned in an ask the other day but im happy to repeat here, i dont hate the idea of expanding on Michael’s backstory. like the fact is we largely know his backstory, the issue is how this film chose to portray it. the original Halloween is frightening because its based around the idea that the seemingly safe, quiet suburbs are not as safe as they seem; you can be on a street youve known your entire life, only a few metres from your own home, and still at risk. the whole idea of showing Michael as a murderer when he was six is to tell us that anyone could be a threat, that our conventions that all killers are a particular kind of person is false.

Halloween 2007 says fuck that, we know what serial killers are, and theyre those poor kids who come from shitty neighbourhoods and have abusive parents and mothers who are sex workers. everything that Halloween brings to the table is fucking tedious, played out, and massively uninspired. it wants to bring us the truth about why Michael is like he is, but Rob Zombie’s only understanding of serial killers is in the cliche and exploitative. he has nothing honest about human nature to show us, only the exact same stories that have been fed to us by crime and horror movies past.

this film is incredibly loud and in fucking constant motion. even on steady shots of still scenes the camera constantly shakes, and in every other scene its always whirling around from tracking shot to panning over the scene to just idly zooming in and out of nothing. Zombie’s favourite shot is to have something large and out of focus in the foreground -- like some plants -- and to shoot the characters standing about six feet away muttering to themselves. every single fucking shot in this movie lingers too long, every scene drags a little longer than it needs to. this film moves with the pace that i would describe as “family guy gag”.

and this film is so loud. people are always talking or screaming, largely about nothing important or interesting. theres always music, but it never particularly adds anything; for reasons i fail to fucking understand the entirety of the original theme plays over mostly uninteresting tracking shots of a minor character walking around yelling filler lines about nothing.

the writing is horseshit. everyone in this film is vile, no one talks or behaves like real human beings. almost every exchange in this movie is the characters saying the exact same thing back and forth inanely, frequently punctuated by screaming FUCK as loudly as possible and talking about sex in a way that 40 year old men really really wished teenage girls talk about sex. Halloween (2007) is thoughtlessly gross and mean and nasty, disconnected from any kind of human sensitivity and empathy. it wants to be complicated and to be deep but its crushingly simplistic and stupid. the only thing that redeems it is that its not Halloween II (2009). speaking of which...

Halloween II (2009)

jesus christ this movie is so fucking boring. Halloween II is two hours long but feels like its about twenty hours long. i felt like i was watching this film for twenty days and twenty nights. i was trapped in an eternal purgatory with this movie.

i really cant fucking emphasise how boring this film is. endless scene after scene of nothing of consequence happening, uninteresting death scenes that add nothing, and Michael wandering around doing jack shit. Halloween II fucking made Michael Myers boring, and im saying this as someone who (as i repeat once every 8 seconds) has a tattoo of him. this film couldnt hold MY interest in two of my favourite characters of all time.

the big fun new addition from the first movie is the presence of Michael and Laurie’s mother as a kind of weird goth ghost guiding Michael to kill. i dont know why Michael had to be Jason Voorhees and be a mommy’s boy all of a sudden, but this addition brings absolutely nothing of interest to the film or to his character. its meant to be symbolic of fucking... something im sure, but it feels meaningless. somehow Michael and Laurie are both able to see and interact with this ghost and the ghost has an agenda to do... something? it feels about as intelligent and coherent as the bullshit cult of thorne shit from 6, but a lot less fun. at some point Michael Myers apparently has mind control powers?

not to repeat myself a hundred fucking times but this film is insanely unpleasant to watch. every scene someone is screaming, generally wailing “fuck you bitch” at anyone in their vicinity. this is two hours of people howling swear words at each other and not infrequently making rape jokes. Rob Zombie loves rape jokes! almost as much as he loves putting sexual assault in his movies over and over again for no reason.

there is nothing to enjoy in this film. theres nothing to gain. there is too much slow-mo and far too many strobe lights and absolutely nothing of any intelligence or grace. Halloween II is a thirteen year old boy in a korn T-shirt calling his mom a bitch while he draws zombies on  the back of his homework, which he will get an F for because the only thing he wrote was “reading is for faggots”.

Halloween (1978)

what the fuck can i say. this is one of the greatest horror movies ever made, if not the greatest. its one of my favourite movies. its forty years old and still just as chilling and frightening as it ever was. it has some shot composition and cinematography thats up with the best ive ever seen, all while being shot on a budget of $300,000. it does more with less than just about any film, launched the slasher genre, shot Jamie Lee Curtis to stardom and created a pop culture icon that stayed strong for decades. its a masterclass in tension and suspense, a lean-cut perfectly paced film with heaps of atmosphere and character.

i love this film with a frantic passion that makes me unable to talk about it in a particularly helpful way. i cant “review” Halloween. I love this film beyond reason and sense and you either get it or you dont.

Halloween II (1981)

Halloween II is largely one of the less remembered entries in the franchise; its a decent enough movie, neither matching up to the highs of the original or the lows of the later films. its a pretty enjoyable little film, created under the logic of ��well the first one did well, lets do the same thing again’. Carpenter wrote the script but didn’t direct, and while the film has a solid story, the directing lacks his signature flair. its hard to pinpoint, because the film is generally fairly well-shot, but lacks a kind of eye for shot composition that Carpenter made look easy, doesnt have as much patience for suspense.

on its own merits, theres still some great shots and great scenes in the movie. and a lot of really cool kills; II got a lot more creative with what Michael was capable of, and i think the boiling water drowning kill is rightfully pretty infamous.

this was the last Halloween movie Carpenter wrote, and it was the film where the idea of Laurie and Michael being siblings was introduced. and believe me ill defend this fucking decision to the grave. adding the human connection between Michael and Laurie gives a whole other layer to their relationship thats so fascinating to me, and i love that other films try to expand on the themes of family. in general, deciding that this film would continue to focus on Laurie and not do what later slashers did with bouncing around between different casts was a great fucking move, ironically for a franchise that was intended to be an anthology.

quietly exploring the aftermath of the first film was a good idea for a follow-up, and i especially really enjoy Loomis’ role in this movie, and his discussion about who Myers is. the biggest disappointment for me personally is that Laurie lacks a lot of presence in this film. Curtis is great, as always, but the movie dawdles on some side characters who are too disconnected from her to get a sense of what shes going through.

all that being said, Halloween II is decent. the ending is really great, with some really powerful shots. Michael bleeding from the eyes of his mask after Laurie shoots him is one of the best fucking images in horror and him swinging blindly as Laurie and Loomis slowly orchestrate his death is a fucking amazing scene. i have an immense fondness for this movie, with all its flaws. it brings a lot of really cool concepts to the table, and i think it deserves some appreciation.

heres a question tho; where the fuck were Laurie’s parents. theres a suggestion theyre missing, but theres no explanation why and we never hear from them. did michael kill them too? hello? mr and mrs strode? your daughter just fucking killed a guy and all her friends are dead. where the fuck are you.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Halloween III is infamous as being the Halloween movie that isn’t about Michael Myers at all. when it first released it was wildly unpopular and remained so for quite a while, but has had a surge in popularity over the last few years. i think just about every horror critic i know now considers Halloween III one of the best in the franchise. and to be fair to it, its a great little movie. not a slasher at all but rather a conspiracy thriller, Halloween III is all about the mystery of what the Silver Shamrock mask-making company are really up to, and why people are disappearing. its a weird and creative little movie, with some really fucking great practical effects that turn it from just being a thriller to being an all-out horror film. it has a few too many ineffective jumpscares and some of the plot twists are kind of disappointing and feel a little too much like the easy option -- and then others are so wildly bizarre no one would see them coming because theyre fucking completely out there. but i kind of love that sort of nonsense in a horror movie. like lets just have a fucking good time in here for once in our fucking lives.

Halloween III is not a perfect or even a really great movie, but yknow, fuck it. the idea that only perfect films are worth watching is dumb. i appreciate the weird shit this film tried and i think it deserves a lot more respect than what it got; if it had been released under another title it probably would have gone down as a classic instead of being derided for years, you ask me.

now things start going rapidly downhill

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

Halloween 4 is when Jamie is introduced as the new final girl; Laurie’s seven year old daughter, after Laurie herself died off-screen in a fucking car crash. the decision to kill off Laurie came from Jamie Lee Curtis decided not to return to the character and instead of recasting her, they went with just having her… die. off-screen. in the franchise where the previous two movies were about her triumph and determination to stay alive. like its the casual thoughtlessness of this that, the idea no one would give a shit a character returned, that in my eyes epitomises how fucking little anyone cared about this franchise going forward.

man the idea of Laurie dying completely irrelevant to Michael… thats a lot. anyway continuing on his quest to erase anyone related to him, Michael starts targeting his niece Jamie for the three movies in the franchise. this is where the series started rapidly losing any grip on reality. while Michael always had some kind of superhuman elements to him (he took six bullets to the chest and survived in the first movie) these became increasingly wildly exaggerated. now hes crushing peoples skulls with his bare hands shit like what the fuck. first of all do that to me and secondly, it was this kind of slide into unreality that let the supernatural elements of the series creep in further until you end up with the shitshow that is Halloween 6. like it was the decrease in the impact of violence and human life that really fucked this franchise over.

this film is not great. its a definite decline in quality after 2 and was on the slippery slope downwards. it has some high points, primarily in Dr Loomis. Donald Pleasance is a better actor than most movies deserve and brings gravitas to a role that in the hands of a less capable actor would be laughable. his sincere plea to Michael at one point to just kill him instead of going after Jamie is honestly fucking tragic.

outside of that, the film isnt massively interesting. Michael himself isnt particularly threatening or engaging, and his mask looks like shit in this film. the characters in this film are largely very stupid, also, which doesnt help anything much.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

if theres a Halloween movie people talk about the least, its this one. II has the sibling twist, III is the black sheep, 4 is the return, even 6 gets talked about for its troubled production history. no one has anything to say about Halloween 5. and thats mostly because there is fucking nothing to say about Halloween 5. it is a relentlessly fucking dull movie that pads out its 100 minute run time with endless unnecessary scenes of shit that does… nothing. this film is dull in a way that i find incredibly detestable. i cant even watch it through a haze of impassioned anger like i can with the also incredible dull Halloween II (2009). its just fucking boring. every single scene drags like its trying to walk on two broken legs. the plot is so bare bones its nonsensical. it constantly adds new characters and new elements but all that does is makes it more incoherent and confusing. watching this movie i literally found my fucking eyes glazing over in my skull. if this film was edited correctly it would be twenty minutes long. i cannot fucking emphasise enough how much of relentless slog it is. Halloween 4 was dull but even that had the lifeline of ‘some cool ideas’. Halloween 5 is nothing. Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water.

Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers

if Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water Halloween 6 is just a fresh hot glass of piss. there are two versions of Halloween 6, the director’s cut and the theatrical release, and both are wretched. this film went full ham with introducing the supernatural elements, telling us that Michael was his whole life psychically controlled by a pagan cult called the Cult of Thorne in order to make Halloween scary again or summon the devil or who fucking cares. this movie is fucking insufferably dull, totally absurd, and wildly unsympathetic. i loathe Halloween 6 and every terrible, stupid plot decision it makes. Paul Rudd defeats Michael Myers by drawing druid symbols on the ground and Michael just gives up and lies down. theres a baby that does nothing and serves no purpose. Halloween is apparently banned in Haddonfield, which makes this more closely related to Footloose than Halloween i think. this film takes itself incredibly seriously while spouting nothing but total fucking bullshit drivel and i dont believe that anyone involved in this movie, from the cast to the cameraman to the guy who served the lunch had any faith in this movie outside of the vague hope it might make money and i wish this movie had been burned at the stake. also i hate Paul Rudd.

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

oh thank fucking god finally some good fucking food. Halloween H20 took the decision to retcon all the sequels (except II) twenty years before Halloween 2018, proving that everyone knew 5 and 6 were fucking mistakes.

this film loses a lot of the Halloween feeling in favour of making a more generic late 1990s/early 2000s style horror. theres nothing particularly interesting about the way this movie is directed or shot, the music is largely very generic, it has a generally uninteresting glossy quality to it that studio movies always do. its very obvious this movie was inspired by Scream and it looks a lot more like Scream than it does Halloween. all of this makes me kind of sad, but other films in the franchise have proved that other directors generally are not capable of imitating Carpenter’s style so maybe its better they dont really try.

what H20 does so well, and the reason i love it so much, is that it explores the relationship between Michael and Laurie, which is something im endlessly fascinated with. this was the first movie to have Laurie shake off her fear and rise up against Michael, and while it doesnt do it with quite as much depth and intelligence as Halloween 2018, it still has a fucking good crack at Laurie’s character, and its still powerful watching her turn on the man who terrorised her for years. Michael is great in this movie too; while he has a terrible mask, watching him back on his shit as a furious force of nature who wants nothing more than to destroy anyone who gets in his way.

honestly i kind of enjoy having a Halloween in a different style; theres something fun about seeing characters recontextualised and done with justice and empathy. most of the Halloween sequels before this one (and after, looking at Resurrection) are shallow, unconcerned with any kind of emotional depth or personality. and while a lot of the stock filler characters in H20 who are lined up for the chopping block arent that interesting and dont particularly standout, watching Jamie Lee Curtis’ performance and seeing her interplay with Michael is enough. and most of the side characters arent particularly annoying, which is more than i can say for half this franchise.

this film also has what is one of my absolute favourite endings in a movie ever; the final confrontation between Michael and Laurie has a particular interaction between them that i absolutely adore and that alone is enough to make this movie one of my favourites.

H20 isnt perfect; it weirdly feels like a blueprint that Halloween 2018 would later refine into a better movie, but the idea its going to be completely disregarded for Halloween 2018 in the future makes me a little sad. in the face of so many fucking mediocre and awful Halloween sequels it did the right thing in trying to focus on what actually mattered; the connection between Michael and Laurie, although i dont feel like it succeeded in making Michael as scary as 2018 would much later. that said, the shot where Michael and Laurie just stare at each other through the glass of a window? that gives me chills every time. and hearing the Halloween theme kick in as Laurie marches off into the school with an axe looking for Michael is so fucking triumphant.

i love H20 even if Michael’s mask looks like his hair was dunked in a bucket of water and then gently blow-dried. i have no idea why it looks so fucking stupid in this movie. why is it so hard to get Michael’s mask right. you wouldnt think it was that fucking hard. anyway, i really fucking love Laurie Strode a lot, which didnt help to make Resurrection any easier to swallow.

Halloween: Resurrection

so whats the obvious thing to do after you have a movie where the power and emotion all comes from the emotional catharsis of seeing a woman get her vengeance on her tormentor? you, uh, make a sequel in which she is immediately defeated and pointlessly killed after its revealed her victory at the end of the previous film was entirely false, and then you never return to focus on her and instead introduce a horde of entirely uninteresting stock characters. yeah, makes sense.

Resurrection is fucking incredibly stupid, in the kind of fucking hysterical way only really bad horror movies can capture. theres absolutely nothing of Halloween in this other than the presence of Michael, who just as easily could have been replaced with anyone or anything. the story has a group of people on a reality show staying in the Myers house to… stay there? its not entirely clear what the challenge is meant to be, other than to just be inside the house, which i imagine gets to be pretty dull viewing pretty quickly. theres no suggestion theyre like, hunting for ghosts or something along those lines, theyre just… looking at stuff.

Michael slopes around this movie like he doesnt fucking understand where he is or whats going on, an entirely out of place relic of better times past while the cast cavorts around him doing nothing of interest and having no plots or characterisation to speak of. the film has exactly two or three funny moments, including the legendary ‘Michael Myers getting electrocuted in the dick by Busta Rhymes’, but youre way, way better off just looking that up on youtube instead of watching this movie. there is an hour of pointless plot development about characters no one cares about until Michael starts fucking killing people. this movie shouldnt exist and we should all go back to pretending it doesnt.

and thats it. thats all the halloween films. i can die now.

[ifandomalot]

NSFW Alphabet ➸ Tom Holland

Warning: implied smut, sexual actions, explicit material ahead.

Aftercare:

Tom is always cuddling you, especially because he doesnt get to see you a lot.

So when you're done exploring each others bodies, he'd always hold you close, falling into the soft touch of each other.

Body Part:

Tom's favorite part himself is his arms. He's worked so hard to get them where they are now, endless days in the gym, dieting and just changing most thing in his life completely. Knowing this you'd always make sure to pay attention to them, lingering too long, making she he notices how much you love them.

Tom's favorite part on you is your hips and thighs. He just loves squeezing the soft flesh, or kissing it. The feeling of his tongue against the jiggly skin, to the tiny moans you let out, he just loves it.

Cum:

Tom prefers to cum on your stomach or chest and when he can inside of you, but mostly on your stomach.

Usually its after months of not seeing you, you'd come to visit him because you no longer had any studies left for the year, Tom would be so desperate to be in you.

Dirty Secret:

Tom would never admit it but he has a serious dirty talk kink. He'd love the way you react to it, and when you would talk back.

Also he had a major bandage kink, something about being in complete power of you just turned him on.

Experience:

Tom doesn't have much experience, of course he has slept with other people but never really was it with someone he was committed to, and his body count is low.

He'd still gets really nervous around you, but it grew into something beautiful when you truly get to know each others body.

Favourite position:

It's so hard for Tommy to pick, but he really does love laying you down on your stomach, squeezing between your closed legs.

He loves this way because he gets to watch your ass, and oooo this boy loves it.

Also the sounds you make are so different compared to other positions. When he'd grab your hair, begging for him.

Goofy:

Tom only knows goofy.

There many times where you'd both be drunk, messily kissing, he'd loose balance falling off the bed, laughing his ass off.

Hair:

Let's face it, tom is always working out so he keeps his private area shaved and tidy, so it reduces sweat and stuff.

On you tom doesnt really have a preference but he does like a little hair, not to much but not bare either.

Intimacy:

From the moment you met tom you knew just how romantic he really was, he would go out of his way to see you, touch you and even kiss you.

Theres many moments when his fingers would trace your cheeks, watching you moan every time he trusted inside of you, lips softly meeting yours greedily.

Jack off:

When Tom's away its almost every day. He would text you, almost begging for some naked pictures.

His hand would start by palming himself through his basketball shorts or sweat pants usually, teasing himself.

He would regret asking you for the picture though, only because he wants you even more now, but only to ask, "send another please"

Kink:

Like I said before, Tom seriously loves talking dirty to you. Also when you talk dirty to him as well. Being the sweet person you are he found it so funny when a string of profanities would fall from your lips, usually begging him to fuck you.

Tying you up though thats his favorite. Just seeing you spread out all pretty again the bed, him being in complete control.

But then hes the opposite and loved when you take control, tying him up, making him bed and squirm.

Location:

Tom prefers the bed room, because most of his life is public, he enjoys having the little amount of privacy in his life

But dont get me wrong. He'd never would say no to car sex, or a quickie before shooting, in his dressing room.

Motivation:

Tom doesnt need any. His mind and body is literally so obsessed with you, anything you do turns him on, you dont even have to try.

But especially when it's close to bed for the both of yours, hair damp from the shower, all make up gone from your face, his black tshirt meeting mid-thigh giving his greedy eyes the best view of your long legs.

Home boy cant keep his eyes and hands off you.

No:

Anything that would actually inflict pain on you. Of course he'd get rough but never to the point of hurting you badly.

Anal. Dont quote me on this but I just feel like he'd be too uncomfortable about it.

Oral:

He loves when you go down on him. He'd always let out the sexiest moan when you first take him in your mouth, hand tangling in your hair, guiding your lips against his dick.

Tom loves even more giving you oral, his lips lay soft kisses against your thighs and inner legs, occasionally sucking softly, leaving small love bites in his trail.

Pace:

Depends on the mood tbh. When he just comes home from seeing you after a while, it would be soft and gentle, whispering how much he loved you, sucking and licking everywhere.

Then he does a 360. And turns into a complete different person, this was right after the gym, some guy was staring at you the whole time and it just pissed him off. The moment you walked into the door, he was bending you over the arm of the couch. "Did you like giving him a show pretty girl?" And when you didnt answer a rough snack to your bum, "what was that. I didnt hear you sweetheart ?"

Quickie:

Tom loves taking his time with you, but sometimes a quickie is needed and he's horny where ever so.

Risks:

Love bites, tom loves looking at you, seeing the pretty purple marks decorate peeking from under your collar.

Often he would tell you to show them, they're his little claim on you and he loves it.

Stamina:

Tommy boy here can at least do 2 or 3 rounds.

This boy goes for hours in the gym, and he loves a good work out, especially it being you.

Toy:

This is a whole other side to tom. You dont use them much but when you do every moment is enjoyed.

It's small things such as a blind fold, hand cuffs and maybe a dildo of some sort.

Unfair:

What's truly unfair is how much he turns you on without knowing, he doesnt even mean too but he teases you without knowing.

Volume:

Hes very vocal. Hes always grunting, moaning or cursing.

For you he likes when you're loud l, almost screaming.

Wild Card:

Tom really loves watching you read, he thiit's so sexy and doesnt understand why.

X-Ray:

Tom's definitely above average, length and girth wise.

But not too much that its scary, enough to have you surprised the first time seeing it.

Yearning:

His sex drive is so high. Tom is constantly touching you. Always asking you if he could touch you as well.

Also he understands that you might not want to have sex every day, from soreness or anything really.

zZz:

Tom would be out like a light. He's always been like this, always sleeps.

Not before his arms wrap around you, pulling you close, skin against skin, the most comfortable way to fall asleep.

[segadores-y-soldados]

Do you think any ship will ever be confirmed canon or do you think Blizzard will hint at ships but never make them canon?

So, obviously there’s one big ship that I would really LOVE to be confirmed canon.  I’m toeing the line between being optimistic about it and being “realistic” (aka, it will never be confirmed and will only ever be implied).That disclaimer out of the way -Here’s some of the stuff that Michael Chu himself has either said or done that heavily implies at least two ships in particular may eventually become canon or close to canon:

(More under the cut)

1. Anahardt (Ana Amari/Reinhardt Wilhelm): technically, their in-game interactions are NOT “canon” (no one knows Ana is alive besides Soldier: 76, Reaper, Sombra, and possibly Pharah), but they obviously have a very flirtatious interaction which inspired the ship (along with their early in-game syngery of “Nanoboost the Paladin”).  However, while their in-game interaction isn’t confirmed canon, in Michael Chu’s 2017 GDC talk, he really emphasized how important both Ana and Reinhardt were to Fareeha as she grew up.  In that same section of the talk about Fareeha’s relationship with Ana “and other heroes like Reinhardt,” he pulled up Fareeah’s combined “ice fishing” spray with Reinhardt.  Fareeha also has a special “final blow” quote for when she kills an enemy Reinhardt (an apologetic “Oooh, sorry, Reinhardt!” vs her smugger final blow quotes against McCree, Reaper, and Widowmaker) - her final blow quote against Reinhardt almost sounds like she accidentally hit him.  We know she also idolized him enough to have a poster of him on her wall growing up, and it is loosely implied that Reinhardt’s love of rockets (rocket armor in particular) inspired Fareeha’s own love of rockets.

Along those lines, although the Ana-Reinhardt interactions in the game are not canon, they do imply certain things about their relationship.  I tend to interpret the non-canon in-game interactions as “here are what the characters would say if they were put in this scenario” - they give us insight on their personalities and past relationships.  Ana has a quote where if she witnesses Reinhardt kill an enemy, she compliments him with a coy “Reinhardt, you haven’t lost a step,” and if an ally Reinhardt dies, she shouts “Reinhardt!”  She has similar lines with Soldier: 76, but based on the fact that the two literally sleep in separate rooms (in the Necropolis), we can kinda assume they’re really just friends.  Ana is also the only person to teasingly chastize Reinhardt “don’t go charging in there on your own” in the Uprising dialogue.Reinhardt seemingly does not have a spouse or children.  In “Reflections,” he and Brigitte are shown to be at Torbjörn’s house for the holidays, where he is reading a book to Torbjörn’s grandchildren.  We don’t know the full details of his relationship with Brigitte, but they seem to fall under more of a master-apprentice, knight-smith, or mentor-mentee relationship.It is loosely implied that Ana’s relationship with Fareeha’s biological father is either friendly or non-existent - she makes no references to him at any point, and the only image of them together is her Uprising spray, where they are shown together with a baby Fareeha.  Given that we know Ana worked for Overwatch since its founding (about 25-30 years), and we also know that Fareeha’s father appears to have “stayed put” in Canada, they likely spent almost no time together.  This does not negate the possibility that they maintained a relationship, but it does put considerable stress on them.  We do also know that they were never married (http://harmicist.tumblr.com/post/156761148006/theres-a-lot-of-drama-going-on-about-reapers), as Fareeha inherited Ana’s surname, which is not typical of Arabic naming conventions.  It is possible that Fareeha’s father belongs to a tribe with matrilineal naming patterns, but until Blizzard confirms this, I won’t wait for it.Lastly, Chu has liked a number of Anahardt or “Amari-Wilhelm family” (Ana, Fareeha, and Reinhardt) pictures on twitter.My gut tells me that if any ship in the entire game is going to be made canon, it will be Anahardt - they have easy in-game synergy, they have the classic “tank-healer” gameplay relationship, they’re both badass older characters, they flirt together, they have complimentary design elements (missing eyes), they both inspired Fareeha, they have a long personal history together that could easily be explored in side material, etc.  And frankly, they’re both a “safe” bet while still being pretty incredibly groundbreaking: how frequently do you see two 60+ yo characters, both of whom have physical scarring and are blind in one eye, one of whom is an older Arabian woman, being loving and supportive together in media or video games?2. Reaper76.

Alright.So last time I tried to discuss “the evidence” for this ship, I got a handful of comments telling me that I was “reading too much into it,” but a I got a ton of notes from people thanking me for putting it all into words.  So forgive me if I’m a little wary of doing this song and dance again.I guess we’ve all been burned one too many times by media creators who tease LGBT relationships or characters and never confirm anything “in canon.”  I don’t blame anyone for being exhausted by this discussion.  My other, non-OW OTP falls exactly into this category - two masculine characters who spend not one, but two games falling in love, being supportive of each other, growing together as individuals, and then literally run off into the sunset together only for other fans to consistently say, “Well, they were never confirmed to be romantic.”  The second game came out in 2007, so you can imagine how long THAT discussion has been going on.So just to start off with, I’m just going to drop this here:http://segadores-y-soldados.tumblr.com/post/160801745270/overdaddys-skeletonsock-vigorous-side-eyeing

Along with this: 

http://segadores-y-soldados.tumblr.com/post/159728931935/reaper-and-soldier-american-cultural-references

And this: http://segadores-y-soldados.tumblr.com/post/163703769040/so-kerrigore-asked-a-question-about-necropolisAnd this: http://segadores-y-soldados.tumblr.com/post/161011920475/shortstoutandswedish-segadores-y-soldadosUnlike Anahardt, which people have “collected fewer pieces for” (I should probably do that…go through and get screenshots of things), the “evidence” for Reaper76 has been screenshotted, quoted, linked to, teased about, etc, etc, etc, add all the verbs you want, etc.  Alongside Roadhog and Junkrat, Reaper and Soldier: 76 are the main masculine characters to share combined sprays (the Contra sprays), and matching voicelines (”What are you looking at?”; “Whatever you say.”/“Moving on.”).  They also have voicelines referencing the Old Soldiers comics (Soldier: 76: “You’re the boss.” > “My old boss used to say there’s no such thing as luck.”) (Reaper: “No one left behind.” > “He did this to me, Ana.  They left me to become this thing.”).  With the Summer Games 2 update, Soldier: 76 now has an American music reference (“Bring the noise!  Bring the ruckus!”), and Reaper got a goddamn biker outfit, drawing even closer parallels between them.In the Uprising comic, Jack has a brief opportunity to talk about his motivations and frustrations regarding both the American military and then early Overwatch.  Rather surprisingly, he makes no references to “family,” “honor,” “duty,” “freedom,” or any other “noble” “all-American” justifications for war and fighting (I’m rolling my eyes here, believe me, I’m sick of it too) - but instead, Jack calmly describes how “Commander Reyes and I…Well, they tried everything,” effectively cutting off his first train of thought about Gabriel and switching gears to talking about politicians and military leaders (presumably, people related to SEP).  His dialogue makes it sound like Gabriel and Overwatch were his main motivations for fighting in the war, and we know that at least one article described them as “joining Overwatch together” (https://playoverwatch.com/en-us/blog/19809396/). 

Much like Ana and Reinhardt, Gabriel and Jack seemingly do not have spouses or children (obviously Ana has Fareeha, but she appears to be her only child) - Gabriel appears to have a connection with the family in Reflections, but their relationship to each other in unknown.  And much like Ana and Reinhardt, Gabriel and Jack have spent at least 25, possibly up to 30 years working together, and despite the “in-universe rumors” that Gabriel was upset that Jack got the Strike-Commander position over him, neither character ever references “the promotion.”  In fact, no characters reference the promotion.  In my opinion, the article that does reference this (the one I just linked to) has been retconned, or the plot point about the promotion was abandoned (along with other early-story stuff like “First Strike”).  When First Strike was canceled, Michael Chu’s post on the subject made it sound like the Blizzard team had completely rethought some of their early story stuff - and this shows particularly clearly with Reaper/Gabriel, who has gotten more fan-based, “lighthearted” stuff like the Shrug, his Uprising dialogue, the biker skin, the Necropolis map, etc.

Speaking of Michael, regardless of what people say, it is very apparent that he loves the character of Reaper/Gabriel when he talks.  His GDC talk is enlightening in that he always lists Gabriel first when he talks about the original Strike Team, he is very passionate that “villains can be just as amazing as heroes,” he loves playing with perspective and unreliable narrators, etc.  Before anyone jumps on me, please note I’m not defending his mistakes nor saying that Michael is above critique (he’s not), but I do think that he’s passionate about giving Reaper/Gabriel the storyline he deserves, and I think he’s learned a lot from the fans and fan reactions about what that is and how to “build” that.And more on Michael - he loves the Reaper “beans” or Reaper “birbs” concepts. Like… a lot.  You can check his twitter likes for yourself (https://twitter.com/westofhouse/likes) (including this https://twitter.com/westofhouse/status/903748787793006593), and on occasionHe will like things tagged “Reaper76″ or “R76.”So for anyone thinking “he has no idea what’s happening, he doesn’t care,” etc, he knows.  He knows very well what’s happening in the fandom.Michael is also a big fan of the Legend of Korra, as well as Korrasami, and at the end of his GDC talk, he discusses Tracer/Lena, in which he was very passionate and vocal about how the team wanted to convey her relationship with Emily, how important it was to show her using her chronal “disability” (his word choice, not mine) in an every day, cute situation, how they wanted Tracer/Lena to be the uplifting, inspiring, charismatic hero who “represented everything positive about Overwatch.”  Tracer/Lena represents Blizzard’s commitment to “doing right by a character and all she represents, both in fiction and in the real world.”  A recent article went out showing that Blizzard is looking into hiring more feminine/women programmers and developers, and in that article they state that they have routine discussions and focus groups with their LGBT members as well.They are not perfect.  They have made mistakes regarding representation, and they will do so in the future.  This is NOT a forgiveness of that.  This is a write up on their efforts.  I recognize completely that efforts may not result in anything tangible.  Efforts without lasting effects can mean very little, but if fans want a dialogue with media creators like Michael and his team at Blizzard, then we need to recognize what effort does count for.  Providing feedback on what Blizzard has done well and what they have messed up on is important.Why do I bring this up?Because if we want Reaper76 to be canon, and we want it “done well,” then we have to continue critiquing Michael and his team, but in constructive manners.  They do look at sites like twitter and reddit (as evidenced by the “Take Out” vs “Take Away” sign changes in Junkertown).  They love fanart and fan content, and are not ashamed to show it.  But I think that, if they are going to make Reaper76 canon, it’s going to take a very, very long time.  They will make mistakes.  They will probably fumble with parts of it.  But if we’re giving the “evidence” of Reaper76 the same sort of weight that we can give Anahardt, then we need to hope that their intentions are there.  I know that’s a lot to ask, so I’m not asking for anyone to stick with them for that long.  As I said in the beginning, I myself am toeing the line.  Rather than wait to be drip-feed “implied relationship content” between Reaper/Gabriel and Soldier: 76/Jack, I’ve done what many do and tried to work on my own content for myself.  It’s been satisfying to do, and when new content does come out, I’m excited, but each comic feels too short and each animation is spaced so far appart from each other.Sorry if this rambled a lot.  The short of it is:If any ship is going to become canon, I think it will be Anahardt.  The second ship that might become canon is actually Reaper76, but don’t be surprised if it takes another year, two years to get there.  Soon TM and all that jazz.  And while I have other ships, I’m not holding out for any of those, including Bunnyribbit, which I know the HotS team and even Johnny Cruz really like.  I could probably write a whole post on the economics and social aspects of shipping, and how media companies profit when they DON’T confirm ships vs. when they do.  Blizzard’s choice to create Emily and put her in a canonical romantic relationship with “their mascot” Tracer/Lena is an incredible choice against the “economy of free shipping” (lol), and I’m waiting to see if they’ll do it again with another ship in Overwatch.  Only time will tell.

[thegeminisage]

a long fucking post (sorry)

bc my browser quit so i just copied it into notepad and kept going and didn’t break it up bc frankly i couldn’t be bothered lol i’ve #struggled today anyway:

i...i dont have any stuff to make spicy food with?? oh my god..........

where do i even...find

lol i could go back to the plateau but i’d probably be Sad.

i guess i have no choice :/

wow i miss the old man

pfft i can see farosh from here but it’s so close i’d never make it in time

SOMEDAY /shakes fist

seeking out shelter from a lightning storm inside the ruined temple of time makes me Very Sad

man. man. there’s nothing i wouldn’t do to set this right

except the main story, i guess, hahaha

OMG A RAINBOW

just for a short moment i didn’t even have time for a picture...wow wow wow

all right i’ve got enough peppers and i’ve had MORE than enough of the plateau im outta here

i fast traveled back to that one shrine i couldnt figure out before

i realize now i was probably supposed to use my paraglider hahaha but i just didnt think of it

theres a chest in here that i cannot. get. oh my god

[death montage]

GOT IT

lol and all that for a little sword

BACK TO THE MOUNTAINS thank god i have a fast travel point now

and that’s all done! time for more of The Story

normally i’d cut this off here but it’s p short so far so w/e

except.......idk where to go next. i know i want to find the zoras, but

which...direction are they. like, i even googled it

i’ll ask my brother and attempt the naked island again while i wait. i read somewhere you can drop your stuff before you properly set foot on there and it helps a bit. plus it’ll be something he hasn’t done, haha

well, so far so good - i managed to drop a few of my best items and a  small amount of food - apples and raw fish - before i stepped on, but i forgot to drink the defense up elixir. i DID remember to eat the extra hearts food, though, and a good thing, bc i came on during a fucking storm in the middle of the night and nearly got killed by some weird yellow octorok popping up out of the ground. fine now tho, all out of extra hearts but other than that good - found some shrooms, a sword, and an axe

oh my god i hit a barrel and DIED bc there was an electric chuchu in it!!!

okay trying again...in the storm again...forgot to drink my defense bonus again...Greay

one orb down!!

lol and i died AGAIN bc i underestimated a bokoblin...i can't take out camps from afar with no arrows!! maybe i can try bombs next time, sigh

i hate getting out to this island

i hate everything ABOUT this island. it is deisnged to kill you. endless skeletons and fire chuchus are great if you need materials and weapons but the chuchus set everything on fire. and there are octoroks ringing the whole island AND on the actual island - there's no safe ground ANYWHERE!!

remembered to drink my elixir but nearly left the stuff i dropped floating in the ocean lol

one orb down AGAIN. 

gotta be a smarter way to do this bokblin camp on the hill. i can't take them all on at once and i can't detonate any of the explosive from afar with arrows, and bombs get me noticed. i can't take that swarm of enemies with no armor. no way.

YES camp down lmao i blew up the barrels with my own bombs since the fucking chuchus noticed me anyway

now i can COOK THINGS thank you thank you

YES now i have hearts up and attack elixirs!!!!

time to fight the blue hinox (:

HAHAHA WOW MY HEARTRATE IS SO JACKED RN

he has so much defense even with my elixir ;_; im too afraid to get close enough for an attack

i wish i had a defense booster!!

NO oh god a lightning storm now of all times!!! no!!!!!!

I CANT EVEN CLIMB THE CLIFFS TO ESCAPE HIM IN THE RAIN

oh my god can he follow me into the water...?

wow it's lightning for the next three hours what the fuck?

aaah the music stopped..he's laying back down...i hope his fucking health doesnt refill

i tried using chuchu jelly to make explosions but they didnt hurt him, only my weapons did bc of my elixir...but im sooo afraid to get close to him, if he kills me i have to do ALL this again

i wanna wait the storm out before i fight him again but i get the feeling the storm was triggered by him waking up bc it's nonstop lightning on the little forecast thingy

god there's not even anywhere to take shelter i just have to pray i dont get struck

yeah it changed back to normal rain as soon as he started snoring...he BETTER not have his health back

NOPE HE DOESNT BUT I GOT UP CLOSE TO HIM TO HIT HIM AND I'M SO SCARED LMAO MY HEART IS POUNDING SO HARD IM SO STRESSED

at least it isnt storming

nooo i hid in the water again and he slept and some of his health came back )))): i am never gonna get him, this is gonna take hours!

as if that wasnt bad enough there's another bokoblin camp with a MOBLIN on top of this big ledge

maybe i can get some arrows at least :/

good news: managed to cheese the bokoblin camp up top. have in my possesion 13 arrows. bad news: hinox is definitely back at full health rn

ok. so im up here where hinox can't actually go (i hope...) and i have my bombs and 13 arrows, plus all these extra bows and weapons and even a pot to cook some more stuff in. i can do this. i can do this.

ok he can't get up here he can't even hit me with projectiles but IMMEDIATELY the lightning started up again so lmao (:

luckily i have found the perfect position from which to roll bombs down at him lol

so this is only gonna take all year ASSUMING i dont get sturck by lightning.

no no no no no NO NO NO

the blood moon!!! why now!!! oh my god!!!!!! can ANYTHING go right oh my god!!!!!!!!!!

at least im far enough down on the ledge the camp up there cant see me

but i'll have to clear out the other one again if i ever manage to kill the hinox and get his orb

:| he keeps trying to go to sleep lol which. no bitch no more health for you jesus fuck

he can't get any of his rocks to land on me and only about every third bomb lands on him lol

his health is sooo low im so tempted to go down and take a swing w/ my weapon, but if i die now and lose all this progress i won't be able to deal so im gonna stay patient and cheese it til the bitter, bitter end

HAHAHAHAHA FINALLY

FUCKING EAT ME YOUR GARBAGE MONSTER GET W R E K T

I PERSEVERED!!!!!! STAYED DETERMINED okay now if not for the blood moon that'd be the end of it but no i gotta clean out that one camp AGAIN without dying

i can do this i can do this i can do this

i......i did it

all thats left is to drop my items and put in the last orb

oh my god!!!!

oh NO if you drop too many they start vanishing ok....choose carefully then

lol ALL THAT FOR A SHRINE TO SOLVE this better be one of those no-puzzle chest only deals

LMFAO i have to reclear the big camp to get in the shrine...oh my god...oh my god

ah well maybe i'll get some more shields i accidentally glitched all mine away

should be easy with all my stuff back

aaaand im stuck down here at the camp i cleared out bc its storming. at least the blue moblin got struck by lightning in a stroke of what i can only assume is divine justice

ok the storm has FINALLY passed

i am FINALLY inside the shrine and have a fast travel point

i got 300 rupees, which is garbage, and i got to watch that stupid monk turn to dust.

ooh whoa there's a rito out here!!!! hi!!!!!

lol a training course for flying...20 rupees a pop. now i know what the fucking chest was for. god.

ah i can't do the course and im so tired of failing at things...i guess i'll leave them for now altho i bet you get a SICK upgrade

no wait i looked it up and its just rupees LMAO no thanks

im never coming back to this fucking island ever again

also: forgot that i did not actually explore the sunken ruins earlier bc of Weather, am going to do that quickly before quitting

oh god oh no i landed right here and there's some fucking masked walking beast getting ready to attack me Why God

IT'S A CENTAUR I THOUGHT IT WAS SOMEONE WITH A HORSE IT'S CALLED LYNEL WHY WHY WHY

god okay we're doing this i guess jesus fuck

if that wasn't bad enough farosh is flying above us LMAO and i still can't shoot him

I! KILLED HIM! bc i had a DEFENSE elixir

i wish i had snapped a better pic than his dying body tho :/

o h w e l l

oh!! i found a memory while exploring!!!!!

HAHAH HOOOOOLY SHIT

oh my god...oh my god...

so it was the four pilots of the original jaegers and two are dudes and two are ladies!!! so there was an even mix in the scene #nice

the voice acting was good and still so unexpected

and the MUSIC oh i love the music when he's remembering something

it felt like a scene from any zelda game, but one near the end—except i'm still at the start

it's so similar to how everyone like, rallied behind link at the end of tp to help him beat ganon, but...this time we already know link failed

god!!!!! this is so good!!!!

every time i find myself thinking "this is an amazing game but it just doesn't feel much like zelda" it comes back and gets me

aaaaaah

and i found a shrine here!!! #nice

altho i'd really like to be done for the night lol

it was super easy thank goodness

omg no the dragon flying earlier must have been naydra bc there naydra is :'))) hey bud

ah and i ran into kass the accordian playing rito again ;w;

anyway now that im FINALLY done with this pronvince tomorrow i can go find the zoras!! yay!!!!

fun fact my very first username was "[not my name, some random one, not telling what it was] of the zoras" bc i love them so much

[writingguide003-blog]

Top writers choose their perfect crime

New Post has been published on https://writingguideto.com/must-see/top-writers-choose-their-perfect-crime/

Top writers choose their perfect crime

Crime fiction is now the UKs bestselling genre. So which crime novels should everyone read? We asked the writers who know …

On Beulah Height by Reginald Hill Val McDermid

This is the perfect crime novel. Its beautifully written elegiac, emotionally intelligent, evocative of the landscape and history that holds its characters in thrall and its clever plotting delivers a genuine shock. Theres intellectual satisfaction in working out a plot involving disappearing children, whose counterpoint is Mahlers Kindertotenlieder. Theres darkness and light, fear and relief. And then theres the cross-grained pairing of Dalziel and Pascoe. Everything about this book is spot on.

Although Hills roots were firmly in the traditional English detective novel, he brought to it an ambivalence and ambiguity that allowed him to display the complexities of contemporary life. He created characters who changed and developed in response to their experiences. I urge you to read this with a glass of Andy Dalziels favourite Highland Park whisky.

Insidious Intent by Val McDermid is published by Sphere.

The Damned and the Destroyed by Kenneth Orvis Lee Child

My formative reading was before the internet, before fanzines, before also-boughts, so for me the best ever is inevitably influenced by the gloriously chanced-upon lucky finds, the greatest of which was a 60 cent Belmont US paperback, bought in an import record shop on a back street in Birmingham in 1969. It had a lurid purple cover, and an irresistible strapline: She was beautiful, young, blonde, and a junkie I had to help her! It turned out to be Canadian, set in Montreal. The hero was a solid stiff named Maxwell Dent. The villain was a dealer named The Back Man. The blonde had an older sister. Dents sidekicks were jazz pianists. The story was patient, suspenseful, educational and utterly superb. In many ways its the target I still aim at.

The Midnight Line by Lee Child is published by Bantam.

Bleak House by Charles Dickens Ian Rankin

Does this count as a crime novel? I think so. Dickens presents us with a mazey mystery, a shocking murder, a charismatic police detective, a slippery lawyer and a plethora of other memorable characters many of whom are suspects. The story has pace and humour, is bitingly satirical about the English legal process, and also touches on large moral and political themes. As in all great crime novels, the central mystery is a driver for a broad and deep investigation of society and culture. And theres a vibrant sense of place, too in this case, London, a city built on secret connections, a location Dickens knows right down to its dark, beating heart.

Rather Be the Devil by Ian Rankin is published by Orion. Siege Mentality by Chris Brookmyre is published by Little, Brown.

The Hollow by Agatha Christie Sophie Hannah

This is my current favourite, in its own way just as good as Murder on the Orient Express. As well as being a perfectly constructed mystery, its a gripping, acutely observed story about a group of people, their ambitions, loves and regrets. The characters are vividly alive, even the more minor ones, and the pace is expertly handled. The outdoor swimming pool scene in which Poirot discovers the murder is, I think, the most memorable discovery-of-the-body scene in all of crime fiction. Interestingly, Christie is said to have believed that the novel would have been better without Poirot. His presence here is handled differently he feels at one remove from the action for much of the time but it works brilliantly, since he is the stranger who must decipher the baffling goings on in the Angkatell family. The murderers reaction to being confronted by Poirot is pure genius. It would have been so easy to give that character, once exposed, the most obvious motivation, but the contents of this killers mind turn out to be much more interesting

Did You See Melody by Sophie Hannah is published by Hodder.

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier SJ Watson

SJ Watsno

I first came to Rebecca, published in 1938, with one of the most recognisable first lines in literature, not knowing exactly what to expect. That it was a classic I was in no doubt, but a classic what? I suspected a drama, possibly a romance, a book heavy on character but light on plot and one Id read and then forget. How wrong I was.

It is a dark, brooding psychological thriller, hauntingly beautiful, literature yes, but with a killer plot. I loved everything about it. The way Du Maurier slowly twists the screw until we have no idea who to trust, the fact that the title character never appears and exists only as an absence at the heart of the book, the fact that the narrator herself is unnamed throughout. But, more importantly, this thriller is an exploration of power, of the men who have it and the women who dont, and the secrets told to preserve it.

Second Life by SJ Watson is published by Black Swan.

Mystic River by Dennis Lehane James Lee Burke

To my mind this is the best crime novel written in the English language. Lehane describes horrible events with poetic lines that somehow heal the injury that his subject matter involves, not unlike Shakespeare or the creators of the King James Old Testament. Thats not a hyper-bolic statement. His use of metaphysical imagery is obviously influenced by Gerard Manley Hopkins. Mystic River is one for the ages.

Robicheaux by James Lee Burke is published by Orion.

The Expendable Man by Dorothy B Hughes Sara Paretsky

Author Sara Paretsky for Arts. Photo by Linda Nylind. 15/7/2015.

Today, Hughes is remembered for In a Lonely Place (1947) Bogart starred in the 1950 film version. My personal favourite is The Expendable Man (1963). Hughes lived in New Mexico and her love of its bleak landscape comes through in carefully painted details. She knows how to use the land sparingly, so it creates mood. The narrative shifts from the sandscape to the doctor, who reluctantly picks up a teen hitchhiker. When shes found dead a day later, hes the chief suspect, and the secrets we know hes harbouring from the first page are slowly revealed.

Hughess novels crackle with menace. Like a Bauhaus devotee, she understood that in creating suspense, less is more. Insinuation, not graphic detail, gives her books an edge of true terror. Shes the master we all could learn from.

Fallout by Sara Paretsky is published by Hodder.

Killing Floor by Lee Child Dreda Say Mitchell

What is it about any particular novel that means youre so engrossed that you miss your bus stop or stay up way past your bedtime? A spare, concise style that doesnt waste a word. A striking lead character who manages to be both traditional and original. A plot thats put together like a Swiss watch. Childs debut has all these things, but like all great crime novels it has the x-factor.

In the case of Killing Floor that factor is a righteous anger, rooted in personal experience, that makes the book shake in your hands. Its the story of a military policeman who loses his job and gets kicked to the kerb. Jack Reacher becomes a Clint Eastwood-style loner who rides into town and makes it his business to dish out justice and protect the underdog, but without the usual props of cynicism or alcohol. We can all identify with that anger and with that thirst for justice. We dont see much of the latter in real life. At least in Killing Floor we do.

Blood Daughter by Dreda Say Mitchell is published by Hodder.

The Long Goodbye by Raymond Chandler Benjamin Black (John Banville)

The Long Goodbye is not the most polished, and certainly not the most convincingly plotted, of Chandlers novels, but it is the most heartfelt. This may seem an odd epithet to apply to one of the great practitioners of hard-boiled crime fiction. The fact is, Chandler was not hard-boiled at all, but a late romantic artist exquisitely attuned to the bittersweet melancholy of post-Depression America. His closest literary cousin is F Scott Fitzgerald.

Philip Marlowes love and surely it is nothing less than love for the disreputable Terry Lennox is the core of the book, the rhapsodic theme that transcends and redeems the creaky storyline and the somewhat cliched characterisation. And if Lennox is a variant of Jay Gatsby, and Marlowe a stand in for Nick Carraway, Fitzgeralds self-effacing but ever-present narrator, then Roger Wade, the drink-soaked churner-out of potboilers that he despises, is an all too recognisable portrait of Chandler himself, and a vengefully caricatured one at that. However, be assured that any pot The Long Goodbye might boil is fashioned from hammered bronze.

Prague Nights by Benjamin Black is published by Viking.

Love in Amsterdam by Nicolas Freeling Ann Cleeves

Although Nicolas Freeling wrote in English he was a European by choice an itinerant chef who roamed between postwar France, Belgium and Holland, and who instilled in me a passion for crime set in foreign places. He detested the rules of the traditional British detective novel: stories in which plot seemed to be paramount. Love in Amsterdam (1962) is Freelings first novel and it breaks those rules both in terms of structure and of theme.

It is a tale of sexual obsession and much of the book is a conversation between the suspect, Martin, whos been accused of killing his former lover, and the cop. Van der Valk, Freelings detective, is a rule-breaker too, curious and compassionate, and although we see his investigative skills in later books, here his interrogation is almost that of a psychologist, teasing the truth from Martin, forcing him to confront his destructive relationship with the victim.

The Seagullby Ann Cleeves is published by Pan.

Laidlaw by William McIlvanney Chris Brookmyre

I first read Laidlaw in 1990, shortly after moving to London, when I was aching for something with the flavour of home, and what a gamey, pungent flavour McIlvanneys novel served up. A sense of place is crucial to crime fiction, and Laidlaw brought Glasgow to life more viscerally than any book I had read before: the good and the bad, the language and the humour, the violence and the drinking.

Laidlaws turf is a male hierarchy ruled by unwritten codes of honour, a milieu of pubs and hard men rendered so convincingly by McIlvanneys taut prose. His face looked like an argument you couldnt win, he writes of one character, encapsulating not only the mans appearance but his entire biography in a mere nine words.

This book made me realise that pacey, streetwise thrillers didnt have to be American: we had mean streets enough of our own. It emboldened me to write about the places I knew and in my own accent.

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov Laura Lippman

Im going to claim Lolita for crime fiction, something I never used to do. But it has kidnapping, murder and its important to use this term rape. It also has multiple allusions to Edgar Allan Poe and even hides an important clue well, not exactly in plain sight, but in the text of, yes, a purloined letter. And now we know, thanks to the dogged scholarship of Sarah Weinman, that it was based on a real case in the United States. (Weinmans book, The Real Lolita, will be published later this year.)

Dorothy Parker meant well when she said Lolita was a book about love, but, no its about the rape of a child by a solipsistic paedophile who rationalises his actions, another crime that is too often hidden in plain sight. Some think that calling Lolita a crime novel cheapens it, but I think it elevates the book, reminds us of the pedestrian ugliness that is always there, thrumming beneath the beautiful language.

Sunburn by Laura Lippman is published by Faber.

The Moving Target by Ross Macdonald Donna Leon

Ross Macdonald, an American who wrote in the 60s and 70s, has enchanted me since then with the beauty of his writing and the decency of his protagonist, Lew Archer. I envy him his prose: easy, elegant, at times poetically beautiful. I also admire the absence of violence in the novels, for he usually follows Aristotles admonition that gore be kept out of the view of the audience. When Archer discovers the various wicked things one person has done to another, he does not linger in describing it but makes it clear how his protagonist mourns not only the loss of human life but also the loss of humanity that leads to it.

Macdonalds plotting is elegant: often, as Archer searches for the motive for todays crime, he unearths a past injustice that has returned to haunt the present and provoke its violence. His sympathy for the victims is endless, as is his empathy for some of the killers.

The Temptation of Forgiveness by Donna Leon is published by William Heinemann.

The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins Nicci French

http://www.theguardian.com/us

[felixdgreen]

10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re a Domain Name Junkie

It’s an addiction like any other.

Ten or twenty bucks will scratch that itch, but the high never lasts, and before long you’re craving the next hit.

And the worst part? Nobody understands.

Except just maybe a fellow addict… “Hello. My name is Glen, and I’m a domain name junkie. My last domain purchase was three weeks, four days and seven hours ago.”

That’s how I’d introduce myself to the support group. (You know, the one that doesn’t exist yet.) I’d stand up and tell my story to a circle of fellow addicts, who’d nod their silent support.

My own addiction started with an act of vanity — I acquired the .COM version of my own name. That was 17 years ago, and owning a piece of Internet real estate was novel and exciting.

But that first domain registration, like the first high from an illicit drug, set me on the path to dependency.

The Telltale Signs of a Destructive Domain Habit

Like many addicts, I failed to acknowledge my problem until it was too late.

For years I told myself buying domains was just a harmless hobby. Something to do on evenings and weekends to help unwind after work. But over time my hobby became a powerful obsession.

I’d wake up each morning with a head full of new domain ideas and a burning desire to check their availability. At social occasions, I’d sneak out of the room to browse domain resale sites on my smartphone.

And despite plans to become a savvy domain “flipper,” I was selling almost none of the domains I bought, instead keeping them for personal use.

Eventually, my behavior became more erratic. I would buy any domains I could get my hands on — .ORGs, .COs, even .INFOs.

One Monday morning I hit rock bottom when I found a dozen GoDaddy receipts in my inbox for domains that had no practical purpose. Worse still, I couldn’t even remember buying them.

These days I’m on the road to recovery, and my mission is to help other addicts.

So take a careful look at the list below, and see if you recognize any of these destructive behaviors.

If so, you might just be a domain name junkie.

#1. You Just Can’t Quit GoDaddy

When you’re a domain name junkie, you struggle to think about anything else. You spend every idle moment brainstorming cool domains for your “someday, one day” online projects.

And once an idea has surfaced, you simply must know — is the name already taken? It doesn’t matter where you are, at work, at home, even in bed. You have to know.

When you discover the domain has already been taken (the good ones usually are), you start the search for viable alternatives.

And once you’ve dived down the rabbit hole, you can hardly crawl back out.

#2. You Lie About How Many Domains You Own

When you start collecting domains, it’s fun to log in to your account and delight in the breadth of your online kingdom.

But one day you reach the point where that list of domains is a painful reminder of a habit that’s out of control.

When your partner catches you buying yet another domain and casually asks, “How many is that now?” you pretend you don’t know, or deliberately lowball the true number.

But of course, lying is a telltale sign your casual hobby has turned into a serious problem.

#3. You’ve Started Dabbling in the Newer TLDs

In the beginning (well, 1985), just six top-level domains (TLDs): .COM, .ORG, .NET, .EDU, .GOV and .MIL existed, but that list has since snowballed.

Today we have more than 1,500 TLDs including .COFFEE, .LAWYER and .PORN.

On the one hand, domains are more plentiful than ever, and even if your dream .COM is long gone, you have hundreds of other options for snagging a snappy name.

On the other hand,  who knows how much prestige these newer domains will hold over the longer term? Nobody wants to build their blog around the domain equivalent of a pet rock.

Some domain junkies won’t look beyond .COM, but if you’re exploring the murkier end of the market (.CM anyone?), it might be a sign that your hobby’s taking a worrying turn.

#4. You Tell Yourself You’re a “Domain Investor”

When your domain account lists tens (or even hundreds) of seemingly random domain purchases, there are two ways to explain it.

Either it’s the result of years of clueless impulse buying from a click-happy domain junkie with no more strategy than a half-blind pigeon pecking in the dirt.

Or it’s the culmination of a strategic acquisition campaign to build a valuable portfolio of undervalued digital assets for future sale.

Not surprisingly, most domain name “enthusiasts” favor the second version.

But deep down, if you suspect there’s very little method to your madness, it might be time to go cold turkey on domains.

#5. You Read the Thesaurus… for Fun

Not every domain you dream up will be available for registration. The truth is, most won’t.

That’s why a thesaurus is a domain collector’s best friend. In fact, uncovering snappy synonyms for your latest near-miss idea can be a lot of fun.

But if a thesaurus has become your favorite bedtime read (you know, just in case a cool domain idea jumps out) it may be time to seek professional help.

Because — wake up call! — it’s a reference book, not the latest Jack Reacher.

#6. You Secretly Stalk the Person Who Owns YourName.com

I was lucky. I grabbed my personal domain before anyone else could.

But if you have a popular birth name, or you were just too slow to the punch, your best options may already have gone. And that really stings.

Because when your name’s John Brown, telling people your treasured home on the Internet is TheRealJohnWBrown.info is plain embarrassing.

And that’s why you secretly stalk the person who nabbed your name online. You stake out their website, mentally mocking their pathetic efforts while waiting patiently for the right moment to pounce.

Because one day, they’ll forget to renew that domain and then, my friend, victory will be yours.

#7. You’ve Felt the Pain of “Lapsers Remorse”

Sometimes you see a domain for what it is — a dumb impulse purchase you’ll never be able to use or resell.

Maybe you tried to make money by listing it for sale at a couple of domain marketplaces but didn’t get the faintest sniff of interest.

So when it comes up for renewal, you do the sensible thing and let it lapse. You even feel good about your level-headed decision.

Weeks later, you casually check to see if anyone’s re-registered it and find it’s now listed on a “premium domains” site for $3,000!

Of course, just because it’s listed for thousands doesn’t mean it’s worth thousands.

But you can’t escape the feeling you let a valuable domain slip through your fingers.

#8. You’re Considering a Domain-Inspired Career Move

Sometimes you’ll stumble across a domain name that’s so good you simply have to own it… even though it’s totally unrelated to your work or hobbies.

The smart move would be to snag it and sell it for a profit to someone who can make good use of it. But like Gollum and that damned ring, you can’t quite bring yourself to part with it.

So your brain starts to explore a future possible world where you become the person for whom this is the perfect domain.

Sure it means throwing away years of hard-won experience and starting a blog in a new field.

But finding a domain this good must be a signal from the universe, right?

#9. You Lose Interest in Domains Moments After Buying Them

Once the buzz of snagging the name you’ve been lusting after subsides, a faint sense of regret can quickly follow.

“I can’t believe nobody bought this yet,” quickly turns to, “I can’t believe I just bought that.”

And the longer you hold onto a domain, the more money you rack up in wasted renewal fees.

The best way to take your mind off this painful predicament? Start scouting for your next domain name.

#10. You Have a Conspiracy Theory about Domain Registrars

Maybe this happened to you…

One day you check a new domain and find it available for the regular price. The next day it’s suddenly a “premium” domain, commanding several thousand dollars.

And you can’t help but wonder:

Did my search alert the registrar to the juicy potential of this previously unrecognized name?

You wouldn’t be alone in your suspicions. Type “do domain registrars” into Google and “steal domains?” is the top auto-complete suggestion.

Are registrars capable of dirty tricks like this? Maybe. It’s difficult to be sure.

But paranoid thoughts like these might be the first sign your harmless hobby is turning into a dangerous addiction.

Learn to Spot the Signs of Addiction Before It’s Too Late

Domain name addiction is real. And it can wreck your life if you don’t catch it in time.

If you suspect you might be addicted, ask yourself the following questions:

Do you visit domain registration sites several times a day?

Do you lie to friends and family about how many domains you own?

Do you often “binge” and buy multiple domains at once?

If so, you’re likely a domain name junkie.

The good news? With the right support, a full recovery is possible.

But you must take that crucial first step. Acknowledge your addiction.

So repeat after me:

“I’m a domain name junkie. And today’s the day I get help.”

About the Author: Glen Long is Smart Blogger’s operations guy and a recovering domain name junkie. He’s holding a “yard sale” of the best blogging, copywriting and content marketing domains that he’s collected over the years — go check it out.

The post 10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re a Domain Name Junkie appeared first on Smart Blogger.

from IM News And Tips https://smartblogger.com/domain-name-junkie/

[laurylyonus]

10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re a Domain Name Junkie

It’s an addiction like any other.

Ten or twenty bucks will scratch that itch, but the high never lasts, and before long you’re craving the next hit.

And the worst part? Nobody understands.

Except just maybe a fellow addict… “Hello. My name is Glen, and I’m a domain name junkie. My last domain purchase was three weeks, four days and seven hours ago.”

That’s how I’d introduce myself to the support group. (You know, the one that doesn’t exist yet.) I’d stand up and tell my story to a circle of fellow addicts, who’d nod their silent support.

My own addiction started with an act of vanity — I acquired the .COM version of my own name. That was 17 years ago, and owning a piece of Internet real estate was novel and exciting.

But that first domain registration, like the first high from an illicit drug, set me on the path to dependency.

The Telltale Signs of a Destructive Domain Habit

Like many addicts, I failed to acknowledge my problem until it was too late.

For years I told myself buying domains was just a harmless hobby. Something to do on evenings and weekends to help unwind after work. But over time my hobby became a powerful obsession.

I’d wake up each morning with a head full of new domain ideas and a burning desire to check their availability. At social occasions, I’d sneak out of the room to browse domain resale sites on my smartphone.

And despite plans to become a savvy domain “flipper,” I was selling almost none of the domains I bought, instead keeping them for personal use.

Eventually, my behavior became more erratic. I would buy any domains I could get my hands on — .ORGs, .COs, even .INFOs.

One Monday morning I hit rock bottom when I found a dozen GoDaddy receipts in my inbox for domains that had no practical purpose. Worse still, I couldn’t even remember buying them.

These days I’m on the road to recovery, and my mission is to help other addicts.

So take a careful look at the list below, and see if you recognize any of these destructive behaviors.

If so, you might just be a domain name junkie.

#1. You Just Can’t Quit GoDaddy

When you’re a domain name junkie, you struggle to think about anything else. You spend every idle moment brainstorming cool domains for your “someday, one day” online projects.

And once an idea has surfaced, you simply must know — is the name already taken? It doesn’t matter where you are, at work, at home, even in bed. You have to know.

When you discover the domain has already been taken (the good ones usually are), you start the search for viable alternatives.

And once you’ve dived down the rabbit hole, you can hardly crawl back out.

#2. You Lie About How Many Domains You Own

When you start collecting domains, it’s fun to log in to your account and delight in the breadth of your online kingdom.

But one day you reach the point where that list of domains is a painful reminder of a habit that’s out of control.

When your partner catches you buying yet another domain and casually asks, “How many is that now?” you pretend you don’t know, or deliberately lowball the true number.

But of course, lying is a telltale sign your casual hobby has turned into a serious problem.

#3. You’ve Started Dabbling in the Newer TLDs

In the beginning (well, 1985), just six top-level domains (TLDs): .COM, .ORG, .NET, .EDU, .GOV and .MIL existed, but that list has since snowballed.

Today we have more than 1,500 TLDs including .COFFEE, .LAWYER and .PORN.

On the one hand, domains are more plentiful than ever, and even if your dream .COM is long gone, you have hundreds of other options for snagging a snappy name.

On the other hand,  who knows how much prestige these newer domains will hold over the longer term? Nobody wants to build their blog around the domain equivalent of a pet rock.

Some domain junkies won’t look beyond .COM, but if you’re exploring the murkier end of the market (.CM anyone?), it might be a sign that your hobby’s taking a worrying turn.

#4. You Tell Yourself You’re a “Domain Investor”

When your domain account lists tens (or even hundreds) of seemingly random domain purchases, there are two ways to explain it.

Either it’s the result of years of clueless impulse buying from a click-happy domain junkie with no more strategy than a half-blind pigeon pecking in the dirt.

Or it’s the culmination of a strategic acquisition campaign to build a valuable portfolio of undervalued digital assets for future sale.

Not surprisingly, most domain name “enthusiasts” favor the second version.

But deep down, if you suspect there’s very little method to your madness, it might be time to go cold turkey on domains.

#5. You Read the Thesaurus… for Fun

Not every domain you dream up will be available for registration. The truth is, most won’t.

That’s why a thesaurus is a domain collector’s best friend. In fact, uncovering snappy synonyms for your latest near-miss idea can be a lot of fun.

But if a thesaurus has become your favorite bedtime read (you know, just in case a cool domain idea jumps out) it may be time to seek professional help.

Because — wake up call! — it’s a reference book, not the latest Jack Reacher.

#6. You Secretly Stalk the Person Who Owns YourName.com

I was lucky. I grabbed my personal domain before anyone else could.

But if you have a popular birth name, or you were just too slow to the punch, your best options may already have gone. And that really stings.

Because when your name’s John Brown, telling people your treasured home on the Internet is TheRealJohnWBrown.info is plain embarrassing.

And that’s why you secretly stalk the person who nabbed your name online. You stake out their website, mentally mocking their pathetic efforts while waiting patiently for the right moment to pounce.

Because one day, they’ll forget to renew that domain and then, my friend, victory will be yours.

#7. You’ve Felt the Pain of “Lapsers Remorse”

Sometimes you see a domain for what it is — a dumb impulse purchase you’ll never be able to use or resell.

Maybe you tried to make money by listing it for sale at a couple of domain marketplaces but didn’t get the faintest sniff of interest.

So when it comes up for renewal, you do the sensible thing and let it lapse. You even feel good about your level-headed decision.

Weeks later, you casually check to see if anyone’s re-registered it and find it’s now listed on a “premium domains” site for $3,000!

Of course, just because it’s listed for thousands doesn’t mean it’s worth thousands.

But you can’t escape the feeling you let a valuable domain slip through your fingers.

#8. You’re Considering a Domain-Inspired Career Move

Sometimes you’ll stumble across a domain name that’s so good you simply have to own it… even though it’s totally unrelated to your work or hobbies.

The smart move would be to snag it and sell it for a profit to someone who can make good use of it. But like Gollum and that damned ring, you can’t quite bring yourself to part with it.

So your brain starts to explore a future possible world where you become the person for whom this is the perfect domain.

Sure it means throwing away years of hard-won experience and starting a blog in a new field.

But finding a domain this good must be a signal from the universe, right?

#9. You Lose Interest in Domains Moments After Buying Them

Once the buzz of snagging the name you’ve been lusting after subsides, a faint sense of regret can quickly follow.

“I can’t believe nobody bought this yet,” quickly turns to, “I can’t believe I just bought that.”

And the longer you hold onto a domain, the more money you rack up in wasted renewal fees.

The best way to take your mind off this painful predicament? Start scouting for your next domain name.

#10. You Have a Conspiracy Theory about Domain Registrars

Maybe this happened to you…

One day you check a new domain and find it available for the regular price. The next day it’s suddenly a “premium” domain, commanding several thousand dollars.

And you can’t help but wonder:

Did my search alert the registrar to the juicy potential of this previously unrecognized name?

You wouldn’t be alone in your suspicions. Type “do domain registrars” into Google and “steal domains?” is the top auto-complete suggestion.

Are registrars capable of dirty tricks like this? Maybe. It’s difficult to be sure.

But paranoid thoughts like these might be the first sign your harmless hobby is turning into a dangerous addiction.

Learn to Spot the Signs of Addiction Before It’s Too Late

Domain name addiction is real. And it can wreck your life if you don’t catch it in time.

If you suspect you might be addicted, ask yourself the following questions:

Do you visit domain registration sites several times a day?

Do you lie to friends and family about how many domains you own?

Do you often “binge” and buy multiple domains at once?

If so, you’re likely a domain name junkie.

The good news? With the right support, a full recovery is possible.

But you must take that crucial first step. Acknowledge your addiction.

So repeat after me:

“I’m a domain name junkie. And today’s the day I get help.”

About the Author: Glen Long is Smart Blogger’s operations guy and a recovering domain name junkie. He’s holding a “yard sale” of the best blogging, copywriting and content marketing domains that he’s collected over the years — go check it out.

The post 10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re a Domain Name Junkie appeared first on Smart Blogger.

from SEO and SM Tips https://smartblogger.com/domain-name-junkie/

[simonegaleanaus]

10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re a Domain Name Junkie

It’s an addiction like any other.

Ten or twenty bucks will scratch that itch, but the high never lasts, and before long you’re craving the next hit.

And the worst part? Nobody understands.

Except just maybe a fellow addict… “Hello. My name is Glen, and I’m a domain name junkie. My last domain purchase was three weeks, four days and seven hours ago.”

That’s how I’d introduce myself to the support group. (You know, the one that doesn’t exist yet.) I’d stand up and tell my story to a circle of fellow addicts, who’d nod their silent support.

My own addiction started with an act of vanity — I acquired the .COM version of my own name. That was 17 years ago, and owning a piece of Internet real estate was novel and exciting.

But that first domain registration, like the first high from an illicit drug, set me on the path to dependency.

The Telltale Signs of a Destructive Domain Habit

Like many addicts, I failed to acknowledge my problem until it was too late.

For years I told myself buying domains was just a harmless hobby. Something to do on evenings and weekends to help unwind after work. But over time my hobby became a powerful obsession.

I’d wake up each morning with a head full of new domain ideas and a burning desire to check their availability. At social occasions, I’d sneak out of the room to browse domain resale sites on my smartphone.

And despite plans to become a savvy domain “flipper,” I was selling almost none of the domains I bought, instead keeping them for personal use.

Eventually, my behavior became more erratic. I would buy any domains I could get my hands on — .ORGs, .COs, even .INFOs.

One Monday morning I hit rock bottom when I found a dozen GoDaddy receipts in my inbox for domains that had no practical purpose. Worse still, I couldn’t even remember buying them.

These days I’m on the road to recovery, and my mission is to help other addicts.

So take a careful look at the list below, and see if you recognize any of these destructive behaviors.

If so, you might just be a domain name junkie.

#1. You Just Can’t Quit GoDaddy

When you’re a domain name junkie, you struggle to think about anything else. You spend every idle moment brainstorming cool domains for your “someday, one day” online projects.

And once an idea has surfaced, you simply must know — is the name already taken? It doesn’t matter where you are, at work, at home, even in bed. You have to know.

When you discover the domain has already been taken (the good ones usually are), you start the search for viable alternatives.

And once you’ve dived down the rabbit hole, you can hardly crawl back out.

#2. You Lie About How Many Domains You Own

When you start collecting domains, it’s fun to log in to your account and delight in the breadth of your online kingdom.

But one day you reach the point where that list of domains is a painful reminder of a habit that’s out of control.

When your partner catches you buying yet another domain and casually asks, “How many is that now?” you pretend you don’t know, or deliberately lowball the true number.

But of course, lying is a telltale sign your casual hobby has turned into a serious problem.

#3. You’ve Started Dabbling in the Newer TLDs

In the beginning (well, 1985), just six top-level domains (TLDs): .COM, .ORG, .NET, .EDU, .GOV and .MIL existed, but that list has since snowballed.

Today we have more than 1,500 TLDs including .COFFEE, .LAWYER and .PORN.

On the one hand, domains are more plentiful than ever, and even if your dream .COM is long gone, you have hundreds of other options for snagging a snappy name.

On the other hand,  who knows how much prestige these newer domains will hold over the longer term? Nobody wants to build their blog around the domain equivalent of a pet rock.

Some domain junkies won’t look beyond .COM, but if you’re exploring the murkier end of the market (.CM anyone?), it might be a sign that your hobby’s taking a worrying turn.

#4. You Tell Yourself You’re a “Domain Investor”

When your domain account lists tens (or even hundreds) of seemingly random domain purchases, there are two ways to explain it.

Either it’s the result of years of clueless impulse buying from a click-happy domain junkie with no more strategy than a half-blind pigeon pecking in the dirt.

Or it’s the culmination of a strategic acquisition campaign to build a valuable portfolio of undervalued digital assets for future sale.

Not surprisingly, most domain name “enthusiasts” favor the second version.

But deep down, if you suspect there’s very little method to your madness, it might be time to go cold turkey on domains.

#5. You Read the Thesaurus… for Fun

Not every domain you dream up will be available for registration. The truth is, most won’t.

That’s why a thesaurus is a domain collector’s best friend. In fact, uncovering snappy synonyms for your latest near-miss idea can be a lot of fun.

But if a thesaurus has become your favorite bedtime read (you know, just in case a cool domain idea jumps out) it may be time to seek professional help.

Because — wake up call! — it’s a reference book, not the latest Jack Reacher.

#6. You Secretly Stalk the Person Who Owns YourName.com

I was lucky. I grabbed my personal domain before anyone else could.

But if you have a popular birth name, or you were just too slow to the punch, your best options may already have gone. And that really stings.

Because when your name’s John Brown, telling people your treasured home on the Internet is TheRealJohnWBrown.info is plain embarrassing.

And that’s why you secretly stalk the person who nabbed your name online. You stake out their website, mentally mocking their pathetic efforts while waiting patiently for the right moment to pounce.

Because one day, they’ll forget to renew that domain and then, my friend, victory will be yours.

#7. You’ve Felt the Pain of “Lapsers Remorse”

Sometimes you see a domain for what it is — a dumb impulse purchase you’ll never be able to use or resell.

Maybe you tried to make money by listing it for sale at a couple of domain marketplaces but didn’t get the faintest sniff of interest.

So when it comes up for renewal, you do the sensible thing and let it lapse. You even feel good about your level-headed decision.

Weeks later, you casually check to see if anyone’s re-registered it and find it’s now listed on a “premium domains” site for $3,000!

Of course, just because it’s listed for thousands doesn’t mean it’s worth thousands.

But you can’t escape the feeling you let a valuable domain slip through your fingers.

#8. You’re Considering a Domain-Inspired Career Move

Sometimes you’ll stumble across a domain name that’s so good you simply have to own it… even though it’s totally unrelated to your work or hobbies.

The smart move would be to snag it and sell it for a profit to someone who can make good use of it. But like Gollum and that damned ring, you can’t quite bring yourself to part with it.

So your brain starts to explore a future possible world where you become the person for whom this is the perfect domain.

Sure it means throwing away years of hard-won experience and starting a blog in a new field.

But finding a domain this good must be a signal from the universe, right?

#9. You Lose Interest in Domains Moments After Buying Them

Once the buzz of snagging the name you’ve been lusting after subsides, a faint sense of regret can quickly follow.

“I can’t believe nobody bought this yet,” quickly turns to, “I can’t believe I just bought that.”

And the longer you hold onto a domain, the more money you rack up in wasted renewal fees.

The best way to take your mind off this painful predicament? Start scouting for your next domain name.

#10. You Have a Conspiracy Theory about Domain Registrars

Maybe this happened to you…

One day you check a new domain and find it available for the regular price. The next day it’s suddenly a “premium” domain, commanding several thousand dollars.

And you can’t help but wonder:

Did my search alert the registrar to the juicy potential of this previously unrecognized name?

You wouldn’t be alone in your suspicions. Type “do domain registrars” into Google and “steal domains?” is the top auto-complete suggestion.

Are registrars capable of dirty tricks like this? Maybe. It’s difficult to be sure.

But paranoid thoughts like these might be the first sign your harmless hobby is turning into a dangerous addiction.

Learn to Spot the Signs of Addiction Before It’s Too Late

Domain name addiction is real. And it can wreck your life if you don’t catch it in time.

If you suspect you might be addicted, ask yourself the following questions:

Do you visit domain registration sites several times a day?

Do you lie to friends and family about how many domains you own?

Do you often “binge” and buy multiple domains at once?

If so, you’re likely a domain name junkie.

The good news? With the right support, a full recovery is possible.

But you must take that crucial first step. Acknowledge your addiction.

So repeat after me:

“I’m a domain name junkie. And today’s the day I get help.”

About the Author: Glen Long is Smart Blogger’s operations guy and a recovering domain name junkie. He’s holding a “yard sale” of the best blogging, copywriting and content marketing domains that he’s collected over the years — go check it out.

The post 10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re a Domain Name Junkie appeared first on Smart Blogger.

from SEO and SM Tips https://smartblogger.com/domain-name-junkie/

[this-is-for-the-record-blog]

Pearl Jam - No Code - Album Review

No Code is the fourth record from alternative rock band Pearl Jam that was released in 1996. A band that first blew up in the early 90s during the Seattle grunge scene. The band in the mid 90s had been continuing to cut back from mainstream exposure and by the time of their fourth record here the band had been fighting back against Ticketmaster for their services fees that they tacked onto their ticket prices and filed a lawsuit against the company. This would now create a cut back on their touring schedules where the band’s tours would be half as long and would play venues half as big. The bands profile was purposefully at an all time low while they still refuse to make a music video and talk to press. Ultimately all of this would affect the bands mainstream presence and affect the bands sales and profited income in sacrifice for their fans and benefit the bands longevity. However it would also contribute to the firing of ex drummer Dave Abbruzzese who opposed to the bands lawsuit against the company and the bands various political choices and views on the mainstream media. This lead to the hiring of new drummer and good friend Jack Irons. Guitarist Stone Gossard, who had always been the bands mediator, had taken a step back once Eddie stepped up as the bands directional leader, had this to say about new drummer Jack Irons replacing Abbruzzese “Jack’s a breath of fresh air, a family man. Everybody had a strong sense of friendship with him immediately. He was just there to play drums and help out.“ while lead guitarist Mike McCready said that Irons urged the band members to discuss their problems, and called him “a big spiritual influence, if not the biggest”. 

With singer Eddie Vedder now having a stronger influence on the bands musical direction and creative control, writing many of the songs and playing guitar, Pearl Jam was becoming more reclusive and estranged when it came to the mainstream. This shift in power that started on Vitalogy was in response to the media criticizing him for and exploiting any small accessible move or composition. Unintentionally Pearl Jam seemed to be hogging the airwaves and MTV programs. Even into the mid 90s the media tried getting at the band. Even other bands like Local H were responding to this like in their song bluntly titled “Eddie Vedder”. Vedders creative control caused great tension in the band while writing and recording their previous record and while there was much more understanding this time around, they band had recorded separately rather than all together with this record. Bassist Jeff Ament was still feeling the most frustrated with and disconnected from the process on No Code to the point of almost seriously quitting, Ament even walked out on the recording session at one point. “There was a point when, like Vitalogy and maybe a little bit of No Code, where it was kind of Ed’s band,” Ament argued. “I think that was him just trying to see what he could do, see how far he could take it. At the end of No Code, I think he was just so fried from trying to finish all these songs, that Eddie said, ‘I can’t do this anymore.” Guitarist Mike McCready said “I’m sure Jeff was pissed, but it was more about separating, because if we played all together nothing would get done. We’d all just get pissed off at each other”. Being Jack Irons’ first record his commented on the process of producing No Code to be a difficult one saying the process was “more on-the-fly during the making of No Code, and some good things happened out of that, but we were also really tired. It was difficult to tour and play these shows that were two or three hours long and then force ourselves to produce something in a studio.” Much like Vitalogy, this record was written and recorded very quickly and based on fragments and songs played on the spot during improvised jam sessions. Many of the songs even sound like live cuts recorded in one take. 

Their Ticketmaster lawsuit and strike would lead to the band having a D.I.Y. mentality both on the recording production on this record’s Lo-Fi garage rock sound and on their touring practices. Eddie made the choice to drive to each venue on the tour in his own van. This caused an emotional and physical disconnect from his band mates who flew by plane together. Eddie was clearly still dealing with accepting his newfound fame and stature since Ten and Vs. blew up a few years prior. While an alternative rock band, Pearl Jam had the attitude and mentality of a punk band especially at this time in the mid 90s following in the footsteps of Ramones and Fugazi. No Code was a record that would really solidify them in the world of alternative rock and offer a wide range of sounds much different than anything they had written or produced prior. No Code contains the bands longest composed song as well as the shortest. It offers the bands loudest and fastest song and their softest and most quietest ones. No Code was truly Pearl Jam’s Zeppelin III being clearly some kind of influence on the composition style with the bands direction and Neil Young clearly a big influence on the band at the time with Eddie’s vocals now having less of a Morrison growl and more of a twangier folkier tone to it.

The band explores everything from folk rock songs that feature acoustic guitars, piano and melodic harmonies on “Off He Goes” and the folky hawiian lullaby “Around the Bend” both songs sound like they could have come of Neil Youngs Harvest Moon record to punk rock tracks like the 62 second “Lukin” which is clearly inspired by grunge band Mudhoney in more ways than one and Vedders edgy “Habit”. No Code is such an eclectic record it sounds as though the band is finding their sound all over again with the record also offering garage rock songs like “Hail, Hail” and “ManKind”, indie rock songs like “Sometimes” and “Present Tense” which sound inspired by Pavement, Thermardore and Crowded House with their tremolo soaked effects on the guitar notes that gets a bit bluesy and theres the other blues rock track “Red Mosquito” a song that reminds me of “Edgar” by the Butthole Surfers and features fuzzy slide guitar leads on a semi-hollow body where McCready uses Vedders grandfathers Zippo lighter as a slide. Theres also Eastern tribal inspired polyrhythms similar to Tribe After Tribe or Three Fish on the drum and rhythm driven tracks “Who You Are” and “In My Tree” which builds into a crescendo of powerful drums and features a sitar, piano, chanting background vocals and hand claps. Also some art rock experimentation is explored like on “Im Open” a spoken word and meditative mantra that sounds as if it could have been a reject from The Door’s An American Prayer sounding very similar to “Hour for Magic” (a song from that album) simply sends the message of being spiritually and emotionally open. By now and especially with what is offered on No Code Pearl Jam is proving there is nothing they wont do or try and that money and the mainstream fame wont keep them from experimenting and exploring their artistic avenues.

Lyrically, No Code many times is written from a third person perspective looking inward and covers many moods, subjects and themes of spirituality, isolation from the material world, emotional instability, escapism, self-reflection and mortality. Vedder said, “I think there’s a little self-examination in those songs, something that a lot of my friends are going through too, as they approach 30.” Its interesting, I first bought this record from The Warehouse when I was 13 or 14 and now approaching 30 I can relate to this songs much more than I ever did when I bought the record. Its almost like I bought the record for my future self. The album’s opener “Sometimes” is about a little soul searching as well as “Who You Are”, the song that seems to speak to those having suicidal thoughts encouraging them to rethink their contemplation. The song introduced the new Pearl Jam material to the world in 1996 came to many as a complete shocker and turn off, being completely underrated due to its intense shift in energy and style. “Hail, Hail” a song that would have gained them more attention as a first single is about a couple struggling to keep things together where Vedder is reflecting on vows once shared and praising those in a successful relationship. “Present Tense” is sort of a conceptual theme of No Code, its a the reminder that the past is best left in the past and forgiving yourself for past mistakes. Its about freeing yourself from regret. I feel this song may metaphorically be the band cutting ties with their old image and old sound. Its time for a new chapter.

“Off He Goes” is a Neil Young’s “Unknown Legend” meets Springsteen introspective tale about himself told in third person. The song expresses how he is a mess and always on the go and never in one place for too long. I think this song may reflect his disconnect with his band mates at the time. The telling of the story almost sounds like Vedder is describing a drug user that has chosen drugs over his relationships and is constantly ditching away to use which just so happens to be what “Habit” is about. “In My Tree” is a hippie track about escaping reality just enjoying nature. Its about leaving the material world behind. Autobiographical inspirations came whileprese on the road like Vedder dealing with obsessed fans and stalker problems that got seriously out of hand. This is what “Lukin” is about, the track “Smile” inspired by one of their opening bands The Frogs and seems to reflect missing Beth Liebling, Vedders longtime girlfriend whom he had just married at the time. The track sounds a bit like Neil Young’s “Loose Change” with Vedder on harmonica. Another autobiographical tune “Red Mosquito” is about Vedder being hospitalized while on tour after getting stricken with an illness that lead to a fever. “Mankind” is a song written and sung by Stone Gossard, the first time someone other than Eddie wrote lyrics to a Pearl Jam song. To me this song was a sort of a peace offering saying his creative control isnt based on ego. The song is about the obsession with the media and the material world.

No Code’s artwork was this crafted mostly by Vedder rather than Ament like Vitalogy and combines 144 random Polaroid photos from eye balls, lips and teeth to various objects found in a house and photos of nature as well. The Eye of Providence is seen when the record is completely unfolded a symbol that is also hidden throughout many of the photos. The term No Code is a medical code to refuse resuscitation or CPR on a patient who has flat-lined. This is interesting concept especially following Vitalogy a record that thematically covered the topic of suicide. The band has been intently attempting to kill its fame and mainstream presence and now that they are gone they dont want to return. This record would definitely make that message clear. This record turned off not only the casual fans but also music critics. There was nothing accessible about No Code. Nothing MTV or radio could sink their teeth into. With Nirvana now out of the scene after Kurt Cobain’s death, Alice In Chains on a hiatus, Soundgarden, and Screaming Trees seemingly about to break up and Pearl Jam nearly breaking up as well had chose to leave the mainstream eye to save the band, that void needed to be filled. Just as much as the music industry wanted to create the next Pearl Jam and the next Nirvana there were plenty of bands ready to mimic these band and their prime records. Bands like Creed, Nickleback, Silverchair, Marcy Playground, Bush, Everclear, The Verve Pipe, Hootie and the Blowfish, Goo Goo Dolls, Fuel, Sinch, Days of the New, Seven Mary Three, Godsmack, 3 Doors Down, Staind and Matchbox20 were there to take a bite of the cookie and fill that void. This created the birth of post-grunge which powered through the turn of the century. Vedder said this about the wave of new mainsteam alternative, “..there is a group of people making music that seems to be very derivative of our first record [smiles]. And they are doing incredibly well – with much less raw talent to work with. They know who they are. I’ve heard a few of them – it’s part caricature, part karaoke. I guess we should be flattered, because they must have heard this stuff and been influenced by it. I just wish it was better. It’s purity that I’m missing in those bands.”No Code sold significantly less than Vitalogy and Pearl Jam doesnt seem to mind that the mainstream replaced them. Something they’ve wanted for some time.

No Code for me when i first heard it 15 years ago was initially not my favorite Pear Jam record. As a casual fan I didnt understand it. It wasnt appealingly strange like Vitalogy it just didnt flow as smoothly or sound as cohesive. It was a rocky river and felt like a road with lots of potholes and speed bumps. It took me awhile to appreciate and understand this record. Maybe I needed a bit of maturing myself as well. It is a simple record at the surface but much more complex once you dig deeper. It took me awhile to break the code, but I now revisit this record often. Its message and style sits in its lack of such alone. It was a record written recorded on a whim and it reflects that but some natural beauty was captured because of it. I look back and see this as both a super influential alt rock and indie rock record. I love that the band explores many genres and mixes in an array of different instruments with acoustic guitars, slide guitar leads, harmonica, spoken word, piano and tribal drum beats. This record really laid the foundation for what their music would be down the road. What would come next? The world didnt know and parts of the world frankly at this point didnt care. Pearl Jam certainly didnt know it could end right with their contemporaries but Pearl Jam did care and reclaiming themselves and reevaluating communication brought a whole new and refreshing energy on their next effort. A lot of songs were left off this record like the 60s sounding “Black, Red, Yellow”, the Springsteen inspired “Dead Man”, “Long Road” a song reflecting the passing of someone close that sounds like the acoustic version of Soundgardens “Like Suicide” and Sleater Kinney’s “Jenny”, “I Got ID”, which sounds inspired by Neil Youngs’ “Cinnamon Girl”. The Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan influenced “The Face of Love”, “Olympic Platinum”, “Dont Gimme No Lip” another song written and sung by Stone Gossard, the Motown inspired “All Night”, and the Motown cover “Leaving Here”. My favorite tracks are “Hail, Hail”, “In My Tree”, “Smile”, “Off He Goes”, “Red Mosquito” and “Habit”. If you like Red Hot Chili Peppers, Green River, Deranged Diction, Eleven, Crowded House, Finn Brothers, Temple of the Dog, Three Fish, Mad Season, Brad, Thermadore, Fastbacks, Screaming Trees, Dinosaur Jr., Mike Watt, Mudhoney, R.E.M., Seven Mary Three, CSNY, Candlebox, Goodness, Neil Young, The Buck Pets, Led Zeppelin, The Doors, Foo Fighters, Stone Temple Pilots, The Verve Pipe, Pavement, Butthole Surfers, or Blind Melon you will love this record.

[chocobro-prompt0]

The last part of the story of xillia by itself was rather boring leading up to its ending with the change being so jarring due to how uninteresting the new world was outside of the one town we got. While there was a sense of urgency in the actual story during that point, the gameplay, didnt really show it. Instead the areas were more just, bland, and i get what they were going for, being a desolate dying wasteland, but there are ways to make it interesting and still seeing the effects of a decaying planet. The music also being just apothetic jazz seeming to be accepting of its fate didnt help with the urgancy of things either. I dunno the time we had on the new planet was just don poorly and rushed. Another issue with Xillia though was the areas between towns in which no plot took place, which recycled the layouts constantly. If no plot happened in those areas; the layout would be one choosen from a list of 4 layouts and minorly altered just so it was just ever so slightly different. You could easily tell it was a repeated area though, which for me atleast, made the areas uninteresting and somewhat made it hard to want to continue since it was the same thing over and over again.

Zestria suffered for a couple different reasons. It had a coherent begining, middle, and end of course, but like xillia it had many issues with it’s pace. I think what strikes me the most with Zestria however was even though you spend 60+ hours in the game exploring and experiencing the story the lands have to offer, i can only remember a handful of things in detail that happened in the story, with entire areas i remember very little about if anything at all. I remember certain events that stuck out, the muesem, the ruined towns in the basin and the swampy area, meeting rose, the entire ending with lion man and sorey. Theres way more to the story than those instances but a lot of the stuff was kinda lost to me and didnt stick. Also ruin exploration had the same issues of copy and paste as xillia did, which could be more excusable, but it was a slog to get through them. They were optional but good lord, atleast make them slightly more interesting.

I think the most telling sign of a tales of game being rushed is the sever lack of any minigames in the game, most comonly being black jack. Abyss, Vesperia, Xillia 2 all had blackjack mini games. Graces had the fun of matching qoutes to past tales characters and sliding puzzles. Symphonia had simon says and i believe some other mini games. Vesperia had black jack, crate puzzles, and waiter mini game, which im honestly sure im missing some for Vesperia to be honest. Xillia and Zestria to my knowlege had none. Bersiria has returned to being filled with a plethera of different mini games to play during the story.

I cant honestly say if Berseria is going to end up being rushed closer to the end since im more than likely only half way through the game, but as of right now it seems well paced, with information being given on the over arcing plot being fairly well placed and not just immediate info dumping. It also hasnt lead to any big huge twists that happen with the biggest info dump to mankind. There was one twist that happened but i feel it was eased into and you were given time to adapt to it before given more information about it, which was a refreshing change for tales games i feel, or really games that i have been playing. Though honestly i think Beseria also benifits from Zestiria, since Berseria is a distant prequel to Zestiria. Having played Zestiria first definantly has made my journey through Berseria mean so much more than if i had played it as a stand alone. The fact that in Zestiria, Sorey constantly looks for a way to bring serephim and humans together again and looks up to the celestial records and its reaccounting of the era in which Berseria takes place, is enough to change your experience. Beseria out right showing the truth of the era Sorey was looking up to and trying to return to makes Berseria that more emotionally charged and in a sense horrible to sit through. The game is about Revenge, but after playing Zestiria it means so much more than just revenge. You learn about so many plot points Zestira never explained and some that refresh you knowlege of Zestiria or bring you up to speed.

Im sure Berseria has its problems, but its still much better than the game that came before it.

[surveysbygracelynn]

Do you like meatball subs? I do. The meatball marinara used to be my favorite thing to get at subway. I just don’t get them because they’re high calorie. 

Are you severely sleep deprived? I think so, though last night was a pretty good night of sleep. 

What music are you listening to? nothing intently, and the radio is on commercial. 

What is your favorite smell on earth? idk what my top thing is. but i do like the smell of freshly baked cookies. 

What are you doing tomorrow morning? maybe helping recycle some bottles. 

What are you supposed to be doing right now? honestly? i dont think theres anything I should be doing. 

Have you ever killed your elbows on an inflatable obstacle course? no..

Ever gone a whole day without eating? no, though i think last year when I was working I came close to. 

Do you feel that you need to improve your spiritual life? I could always be better.

Can you curse fluently in Spanish? Nope.

If you go to school (HS or college) does your school have a rival? -

What’s your school’s mascot? -

Do the numbers 44 and 53 mean anything to you? no. 

Ever had banana pudding flavored ice cream? no. 

If you have a sib, do you call him/her “brother” or “sister” sometimes? no. 

Has the weather been odd lately where you live? For January, it is a bit warm. 

Remember “Kenan and Kel”? Yes.

Does the mere mention of that show make you crave orange soda? not really. 

Are you *this* close to falling asleep? yes, except if i laid down I wouldn’t be. 

Do you own a Wii? yeah

If not, do you want one? -

Did you ever collect stickers? yes, those 50 cent ones from the machines at the store. 

Isn’t Hello Kitty just the cutest thing ever? it’s cute but not the cutest thing ever. 

Are there any songs you could just listen to over and over and over? Yes.

Do you have a favorite basketball team (NBA or college?) no

Ever had chicken curry and basmati rice? i dont think so. 

Do you have a weird obsession with numbers? not really. 

Does your job (if you have one) involve sitting at a computer for hours? yes. 

Do you get major shoulder/upper back pain from that? Or think you would? no. 

Do you have someone who will give you a massage when you need one? Brandon except idon’t see him.

Ever seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? Nope.

Do you own any diamond jewelry? no. 

Do you have an American-made car? nope.

Have you been baptized in any religious tradition? Yes.

Do you drink alcohol at all? yeah

If not, do you like the smell?  idk. jack daniels smells better than it tastes to me. that’s about it. i guess fireball because cinnamon .

Are you in a chair, on a couch, in bed, on the floor, what? chair. 

If your best male friend got a mohawk, would he look good or ridiculous? He wanted a fauxhawk and I told him no. lol Do you love the smell of sunblock? in a sense because it smells like summer.  Internet Explorer or Firefox: which do you prefer?

firefox

What are you going to do now? chill

Have you ever fallen asleep thinking about a boy/girl? Yes.

Do you have a favorite pair of jeans? yes.  Have you ever just felt like you could cry an ocean? sure. 

Have you ever woken up to wonder why you even bother? Yes.

How long do you spend on your hair each day? nope. 

Describe what you would call the perfect weather. sunny with a high of 75.. and a cool breeze.

Do you have Twitter? yeah

Do you eat cereal? nope. 

What is your favorite meal of the day? i guess dinner. 

Do you have bangs? yes

When was the last time you got your hair done? done?? wow. idk. lol danielles sweet 16?? 

Do you like the dentist? no

Would you rather study a foreign language or history? language.

Do you wear house shoes/slippers? no. 

Is there a person in your life that you know you’ll never forget? Yes.

Do you like to draw? Nope.

What is on your bedroom walls? nothing. 

What kind of cell phone do you have? galaxy s4.

Do you own a lot of hairbrushes? no

What’s the first line of the last song you listened to? i don’t remember the last song i listened to.

Who did you first talk to this morning? uh... my mom, i think. 

How many email accounts do you have? that i actively check? one for leisure. one at work. lol 

Do you still watch movies on a VCR? No.

Have you ever known someone online, then met them in real life? nope. 

Do you believe in a God? yeah

Do you like windy days? only when its warm. 

Do you have a deep, dark secret? dont we all

What’s in your pocket? nothing.

Have you ever wanted to be on TV? sure, who hasn’t. 

Have you ever been pushed into a pool? Yeah. 

Do you have birthday parties? I suppose.

Have you ever attended a costume party? Yes.

Do you still drink Mt. Dew even though it’s bad for you? Yes

Have you ever cried over another person? yeah

Are you listening to music right now? [If yes, what song?] Q1043 is on in the background. Refugee - by tom petty and the heartbreakers. 

Do you like classical music? ehhh

Do you believe in forever? eeeeeeeeeeeeh. I think things on earth are too volatile for that. 

When did you last eat Cheetos? i don’t remember :( 

Have you ever talked on the phone more than an hour? Yes.

Do you take a lot of pictures of yourself? I guess because of snapchat. I don’t save a lot though. 

Do you know anybody who is afraid of clowns? probably.

What time did you wake up this morning? I think I actually woke up at like 6:40. 

Were you ever afraid of the dark? when I was little.

Do you have a mirror in your bedroom? Yes.

What type of computer do you have? Dell. 

Do you put pepper on mostly everything you eat? no.

Have you ever seen a zebra? yeah

When was the last time you had hiccups? idk. 

Have you ever had toe cramps? yeah

What’s your middle name? Lynn

How tall are you? 5′

What grade are you in? -

Do you like the taste of burnt popcorn? Yes.

Are you a forgiving person? not as of late. When was the last time you brushed your teeth?

last night.

Have you ever touched a snake? yeah

Do you wear make-up? Not really. 

Have you ever had a rolling back pack? Yeah. 

Are you cold at the moment? yeah actually. 

What season were you born in? spring.

Do you have a person you could tell everything to? I suppose.

What colour is the soap in your bathroom? Does it have a specific scent? green. ehh.

Do you have a favourite towel? What colour is it? i like the fluffier ones. they’re all different colors. 

Have you seen any films with Judy Garland in them? wizard of oz! lol 

How did you feel when you woke up today? Why? tired. because i’m always tired

Do you have a friend named Nick? What’s his favourite food? yes. ugh. idk lol. i think ive seen him eat too many different things. 

Have you ever been to the cinema to watch a film, and found that you disliked it? AVATAR ! 

What do you plan to do tomorrow? recycle some bottles and thats about it lol 

[thegeminisage]

zelda blogging which is so deeply super spoilery, possible the most spoilery it’s ever been, so if you haven’t THOROUGHLY explored the central-north part of the map DON’T read it

aww some of these gerudo wear glasses! love it

i like the music here too but i kinda wish it had been the same melody from oot ; ;

omg riju is tiny!!! is she still young?!

aww her relationship with buliara is sweet they obviously care about each other a lot

AAAAAH THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT MY SWORD lmao maybe i should have gone to get it after all

oh my god a sand seal that gives you words of wisdom for food

ooh i get a free accessory for giving this lady some flint...hmMmMMmMMmmm

topaz i guess bc i'll probs need lightning protection soon? but no, i'm getting a helm...

haha sapphire to go with link's eyes?

ruby bc the flame armor is the ugliest and i wanna wear something else? LOL

went with sapphire iin the end MAY I NOT REGRET IT...

ooooh i shoulda been saving my gems....Dang

i mean, at least i have the 10k i need for the great fairy, but there's so much cool stuff here and i can't bUY ANY...

ah no i did get some opal and amber earrings :3

swim speed up and the ithers are just extra defense

"apparently the accessory maker and the teacher of the relationship class were both in a tragic love triangle, and now they are both single" nintendo this is an all women society please give me lesbians i BEG of you

ok, i need 1 ruby and 5 topaz to finish buying one of everything here. i'll remember

hahahahaha "you've gotta take your time when selecting gems and voe" wise words, lady

omg i found a bar but im too young to drink. nice, nintendo

lmao you can tell one of the ladies you're over 100 and she doesn't believe you dxkfjhg

ok so the hideout of the yiga clan is apparently to the northwest of here so i get to RIDE A SAND SEAL or surf behind one i guess. tbh im a little worried i'll break all my shields :/

i got a gerudo one that i really like!! goes with my scimitar and golden bow!

aww can i not wear accessories along with normal armor...? that sucks

LOL SEAL PUNS the options when talking to the sand seal lady are full of em im dying

wow i can't get this shrine unless i wind sand seal races which i can't do with the divine beast out LOL

jesus those sandstorms look so huge and terrifying...especially since i know they'll disable my map

i wanna explore but tbh i better just stick to the plot and away from those bad boys

oh JESUS i went to an outpost where they're monitoring the beast and it's. so big. and so loud and big and. so scary. oh my god, it's huge

oh FUCK i got too close and it started targeting me so i ran away and thankfully it stopped...definitely gonna take it easy on the exploration if i can help it

oooh no no no why is the air turning green out here...dnw dnw leave me and my map alone!!

uh, and where is my fucking seal...? i left it right HERE

ugh i had trouble mounting the one from before when i stayed in the monitoring outpost do they like leave if you stay gone a long time...? fml

awww this old gerudo never found the lovers pond ):

ugh i see so much stuff i wanna check out but im too scared to get off the seal for long :/ ESPECIALLY if i get stuck in a storm i'll want a way out

oh wow the air is so hot here even my gerudo outfit is useless

tbh, maybe that's a good thing, if i'm eating food i can wear armor with actual defense...much as i love these clothes they're great for getting your ass kicked

ok no seriously WHY does everyone from the yiga clan drop bananas..............

i know that everyone talks about how cool it is that this game just plops you down in the world and lets you figure it out for yourself without hitting you over the head with the instructions

but i just found a bow and some torches in a circle of lit torches with some obviously flammable banners nearby, so

i found the missing gerudo soldier!

"all i've ever seen them do is patrol and eat[in red text] bananas" LMAO WHATS THE DEAL MY DUDES

theres some bananas here on a table wtf do i do throw them at them?? lmao

OMFG LOL IT WORKED

dude pranced right over to it and pocketed it lmao

nooo i missed a chest...maybe i can get it on the way back out ;_;

LOL I FOUND AN ENTIRE ROOM FULL OF BANANAS

this is so funny dkjfgh fck

urgh i wish i could just...snipe them from here. it'd be so EASY

im actually not even totally sure which direction to go, im all turned around

ok, one stationary guy at the door maybe i have to move him?

NOOO I FUCKING FELL THEY SAW ME

i couldn't even fight they one-shotted me and mipha's grace didn't kick in! that isn't fair at all

at least i can get the chest i missed

lol and i cant save in here. perfect.

ok yeah im gonna have to look it up bc as far as i can tell this room has no exit all the hallways just circle back around into it

apparently i CAN fight them...? they're just really hard?

this walkthru is so unclear lol there's a hidden door i can find with magnesis on the right-hand wall WHICH RIGHT...

WAIT fuck i finally see the exit

ah ok. wrong room for the hidden door.

master kohga!! he just...knocked himself out with his own attack. lmao ok

fuck this is SO FUNNY he is so funny

i love it even his bones cracked

isn't what he used to be, apparently

wow this is a boring fight he has a lot of hp and he's so far away the only way i can attack is arrows

and now arrows aren't working anymore...? obviously i'm doing something wrong

maybe i can reflect the rocks back at him

ok google says to drop his things on his head

HAHAHA HIS SPECIAL ATTACK FAILED

this undertale naruto motherfucker im crying i love him

"pretty soon you'll be gone! and not just from my line of sight!" i'm CRYING

fuck the ball rolled on top of him and made him fall

"COWARD! I SHALL BE REMEMBERED!!!"

what a fucking legend i'll never forget you master kohga i promise

aaaand thunder helm retrieved

but i gotta rescue that missing gerudo!

ah good her cell is empty!

lol im skipping sooo many shrines rn...i'll come back to them later i swear

oh NOOOO i got a memory!!!

urbosa the prankster!!! witht he power of lightning at her disposal!! protective of princess zelda!! i'm dying!!!

also im sad so zelda's sealing power mjst be what she used to seal ganon away but apparently in the past she couldn't make it show up for her whole life...?

aw no poor riju the helmet is too big on her

(give it to meeeee)

ok it's time for the divine beast bit but before i do jack or shit im going to upgrade my armor as much as possible rn

ugh you can't enhance the gerudo clothes...geez

FUCK YES HERE WE GO!

aaah riju is talking!!! i always get so surprised!!!

i did it!! tbh i had a really hard time keeping up with her...a dash was too fast but regular speed was too slow

AAH URBOSA IS TALKING TO ME ;_;

ohhh wow it's really walking around while on it

oh man. it's so big. it's so big

oooh you rotate the insides of this one!!

i get the feeling now i should've done more shrines in this area afterall, they have the same sort of electricity theme and they would've been good practice 

okay that was...easily the hardest beast so far

i had to use a guide TWICE and i could barely understand the instructions, PLUS i got two terminals by sheer dumb luck

oooh boy okay a lightning boss im assuming here we gooooo

LMFAO i suck so much at this urbosa was like "there is valor in dodging"

thanks zelda i missed your captain obvious statements

geeeeez i just barely got it

oh EW that never gets any less gross

ohhh my god

"I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD OF HER" B Y E

oh my gOD?

she mentioned nabooru from oot BY NAME holy SHIT this continutity between games!!!

and "calamity ganon once took on the form of a gerudo that makes this all the more personal" jesus fUCKING christ

i feel so bad for ganondorf the man like

he didn't ask for this shit anymore than link or zelda

and at least they get to win most of the time he always loses and even when he does win he's hated, his win brings ruin

where's the fic where the only way to end the cycle is to become friends with him huh

or like, frankly: the true enemy isn't ganondorf but the evil that takes hold of him

when does he get to be the hero and fight it and smash it to little bitty bits!

oh lord and the blood moon as soon as i get back

do people like, see these towers popping up and beasts moving around? does it scare the shit out of them or make them hopeful?

anyway i hope now i can explore with less sandstorms

oh boy time to ride into a sandstorm gee i sure hope i dont get lost

LOL and first thing i run right into a camp of enemies just bc i was trying to stay in a straight line!!!! jesus

lovely! i am now hopelessly turned around in a sandstorm. i literally don't even know which way i came from

my sand seal is also STUCK lol

ah i passed through it! i'm right where i need to go!

omg I FOUND THE LAST GREAT FAIRY

i'm. i'm 500 short. oh my god

nothing i can't earn with 10 minutes of cooking, tho

huh...? she only asked for 1k...?

i could've SWORN i read someone asks for 10k at one point!

god what if i've been MISINFORMED all this TIME

ooh this one is orange and green

FUCK "i know what you're thinking...can't we just skip to the part where she enhances my clothes?" FUCKING PLAYED

holy FUCK just found my first molduga...i have to KILL one of these for a quest? jesus christ!

ohhh that actually wasn't too bad at all once i figured out the strategy...i've had more trouble with lynels and hinoxes

i'll be honest, the interactive map take a bit of both fun and "work" out of exploring...i look at empty areas and don't wonder "ooh whats over there" but think "ah i can just glance at that bit"

which should make me feel like my Pure Enjoyment of the game is being compromised, and i guess it does a little, but

i wasn't kidding when i said the need to explore was a bit compulsive so it's mostly a relief

ah from up here i see the sandstorm...i think it rotates around the desert? so, it's very possible to avoid and survive even if you do get stuck

anyway i missed several shrines but the quests for them are so complex and i am so Sick

of the desert. even worse than rain tbh

now the question is what to do next: master sword or rito beast

lowkey wanna wait until i get all four beasts before the sword, but

i know you do all four beasts and then ganon and that's it, so if i got the sword then it wouldn't help me for long

plus i'm a little tired of fighting the temperature and changing gear/eating food all the time, so......i guess i'll go check out the forest

maybe i'll see dinaal! i've only seen him once from veeeery very far away

im getting aaaaawfully close to hyrule castle i Dont Like This

lmao every time i catch sight of the divine beasts in the distance, the fact that i can SEE them from THIS far away, blows my fucking mine

they are SO BIG

im getting a much closer look at that flying thing and i'm almost CERTAIN it's a divine beast

just. jesus christ. so BIG

ohhh my gosh i can see the giant pink tree from here *_*

or maybe it's brown, maybe the deku tree is dead lmao

lol straight up skipped the bottomless bog and the enemies at the bottom bc i glided in from death mountain

whoa this tower has rock all over the top??

ah maybe it's so i can't glide to the big tree in the middle lol

not the lost woods if i don't get lost!

lol jk i got on top of it and there was a super cool sword here

aww rauru hillside...im sad

BRO im in the lost woods but its just playing the maze shrine music, i was so hopeful for saria's song

zora's domain having the same music set me up with false expectations t b h

omg if i go too high i die!! i can't follow my higher-ground instict here!!!!!

which is pretty cool but if all i have to do is wander around these woods with my map ON to find the master sword i am gonna be disappointed

even gerudo desert turned it off sometimes

ohhh okay if i wander off the path i also die i can't just go wherever i gotta follow torches i guess

mkay i googled it bc i got stuck and couldn't see anymore torches and it's wind direction! neat

see i feel a little bad about not figuring that out for myself but like...it's not Fun to die over and over bc you can't solve a puzzle. so #realgamers can shut the hell up lol games are for fun

the ember thing is SUPER clever tho and like i know this game is so like, praised bc it stops holding your hand, but i would have appreciated a TINY obscure hint

i did get as far as carrying a torch but i thought maybe i was burning off the fog or smth

omg i found korok forest!!!

oh

there's my sword

said "oh" out loud

kinda wish the quest had been more, idk

but.

mmm not yet. not yet. i'll talk to some koroks first

haha and the very first one tells me to go get the sword all right all right

man. i always remember now that fi's been in there since the ages of skyward sword, sleeping

tbh i kinda miss her 

even though she's way more annoying than navi could ever DREAM of being

for all we complain about compaions, they're a zelda staple and it feels lonely without them

i know not having one makes for a stronger game, i do, but...

really though. the master sword quest was SHOCKINGLY easy. i know i looked up the ember thing but geez it's the first truly disappointing this about this game

and my brother told me they made you work for it lmao but that was. not even close to Work. i've had more trouble at bokoblin camps

like. fucking weak. tbh. i'm so sad like i can't believe this game let me down

OH MY GOD

I TRIED TO TOUCH IT AND THE MEMORIES OVERWHELMED ME

and like at first i was like "ok if link gets his memories back with the sword i'll give them that, that's pretty sick"

AND THEN THE GREAT DEKU TREE STARTED SPEAKING

AND IT WASN'T LOST WOODS MUSIC BUT IT WAS FOREST HAVEN MUSIC

and i straight up burst into tears

"i have watched over hyrule since time immemorial" i know i know i was there i know i missed him so much one of the very first major zelda characters i ever knew i know technically he hasn't been there since the very beginning but he was my beginning

and i didn't even think i cared about him that much emotionally but i also welled up the first time he spoke old hylian in wind waker

oh god link's not WORTHY of the sword yet yes okay i'm here for this i knew this game wouldn't let me down

idk why i never considered the big pink tree might be the deku tree like i joked about it just a few minutes ago but i didn't seriously consider it so i was so surprised

and all the koroks running around and i know i KNOW they used to be kokiri it's almost like i came home, Really Home, the forest was where link began for me, not hyrule proper, he was always a child of these woods

ohhh my god i gotta mop up my face stream is soon!! jesus fuck

oh god now he wants me to pull it again

what if i'm not worthy? what if i am?

i don't have long left to play but i CANNOT leave it here, jesus christ

okay. i'm gonna try. i gotta try. courage!

oh my god it takes your LIFE?

and he said enough when i was down to my last quarter of a heart!! i'm gonna cry i was so close link tried so hard but he wasn't ready yet

i could eat food to max out my hearts but where's the fun in that........

ok. ok. i need to. step back a moment. fuck.

there's hestu! oh my god buddy you finally made it home!! me too pal me too

im gonna save and quit here before i talk to him tho bc like. i gotta stream. but Wow. god Damn

I KNEW THIS GAME WOULDN'T LET ME DOWN!!!!

LMAO I LIED JK im playing a bit more after stream

i talked to the trial korok and "do all the shrines here, it's based on the trials the legendary hero himself did" im crying!!! thats some History!!!

oh my god the koroks are so CUTE??

oh no this is so precious they've been waiting for him

sdfgsfdg "nooo vegetarians everywhere nooo that's my face" i wish i had thought to taka e a snap of that but i cant get him to say it again

aw omg they set up little stores and they only have one of many items please please i'm so proud of them

they set up a little bed for me!! they don't even want my money to sleep there!! i'm sleeping in a tree again, just like i was in oot ;____;

tbh it's so fitting that i did the scary mysterious thing of trying to pull the sword at night and i'm meeting the koroks in the brightness of day

i saw a shield resting on this rock and i had a tiny heart attack like OMG THE HYLIAN SHIELD?!?

ok. ok. i did the trials. i'm gonna see if i can get the sword now??

lol i have the same amt of hearts im not leaving to find a goddess statue and i was trying to boost my stamina anyway but maybe the food boost will help? unless they dont let me use it, we'll see

aaah no it DOESN'T omg

well, maybe one more heart container will do it...?

ugh i don't wanna go back and do the desert ones

me: already fast-traveling

Great, A Sand Storm, Just What I Wanted

fuck i stopped by town and there's a secret club that sells gerudo clothes for men

LOL why.........do they think dudes will feel weird looking pretty? come on

they said there's a high demand so i choose to believe there are lots of gerudo transmen. anyway back to the forest i got two more heart containers i pray it's enough i was SO CLOSE before

I DID IT FUCK I ALMOST DIED BUT I DID IT

IM GONNA CRY JESUS CHRIST

ZELDA SEALED THE SWORD

she's been fighting 100 years and she has so much faith in link

more importantly she heard the sword speak to her im crying fi is in there fi and zelda/hylia meet again

her smile is like the sun, i would do much to feel its warmth upon me again ME TOO PAL im weeping my poor brave daughter i promise i'll save her i promise i promise

it's almost 7am but that was worth it. that was W O R T H I T