#[Oh well what is fanfiction for if not for silly fantasies with characters you like!]

[wishluc]

VA x Reader? 👀 ay yo I’m looking especially knowing how he is like-? Oh goodness that’s a treat- 👀

Mmm I've been thinking about it for a while. VA is one of the characters I really want to know more about (and hoping he gets a role in HSR too). He's just so intriguing...Lots of non canon-compliant bits here, just something I had in mind for him haha (Using He/Him for Void Archives here!)

Void Archives ends up in the Herta Space Station, alone. There wasn't anywhere in particular he wanted to go, and the Space Station seems to be a good place to start. There's a ton of information that can be of use to him, relics and items with special powers, and a lot of research papers. It helped that the staff here all had a tendency to leave their notes and papers out in the open for just anyone to read it, aiding him further in his exploration. The term 'Honkai' wasn't applied anywhere, but there were mentions of a Stellaron and Aeons and...well, Void Archives could connect the dots.

(There was the question of the Herrscher's whereabouts, but he supposed the two of them would meet again, somehow.)

And then he meets you.

You're a researcher, though not held in nearly as high regards as your colleagues, with a particular interest in the Stellaron and the harm it brought. What you searched for was answers; a reason for the sudden spread, how it all started, and so on. VA steals your notes and drafts often, sharing your curiosity in the phenomenon, and looks over them carefully. Well-written, and detailed, accompanied by various, and at times, outlandish, theories. But from his own experience, even the most far-fetched possibilities weren't impossible.

He tells himself that your research, and by association, you, would be helpful, and that was the only reason why he was constantly near your desk. That's also why, when he sees you look particularly dejected after yet another failed report, he leaves you a can of your favorite drink on your desk. It's not because he can sympathize with your fervent devotion to your mission, or with your desire to stop staying in the shadows of others. It's only because it's in his best interests that you stay motivated and continue working on your research, so you can supply him with the information (and entertainment) he needs.

One day, you happen to catch him looking through your papers, and...you take it surprisingly well. He was muttering to himself something about your mention of aliens, and you immediately rushed over and launched into your understanding of alien species and their role in the disasters. You were foolish, he thinks, but oddly endearing. Maybe you thought he was a researcher, or maybe...he watches you go on about the Fragmentum and common identification signs with poorly contained excitement—maybe you were just happy that someone was interested in your work. A lot of your words don't make sense to him at the speed you're going, but he listens all the same—He's become quite good at that, after all the centuries. He finds it quite odd that just his presence by your desk has invigorated you to such an extent. He wonders how pathetic of a state you have to be in to end up like this, how desperate you must have been. It wasn't like Stellaron research was unpopular, it was just your ideas that weren't very well received. Such a shame too, your efforts were admirable, and your heart was in the right place, even if your ideas were a little unconventional.

But he doesn't particularly mind the company. He doesn't mind when you sit beside him after a long day, a string of complains ready to go (He acts disinterested, but he is listening. He thinks you keep coming back because you know this, too), or when you drag him to a window and name all the stars you know (He asks himself why he's never done this before; because he had never known to, or because he never cared to?), or even when you ask him for his opinions on your theories and reports (And what is he supposed to say? Tell you about the Honkai and the Sky People, and of his life so far, to assure you that nothing is too absurd to be real?). He finds that being beside someone after all this time, especially with someone who expected nothing from him and knew nothing of him, was...unexpectedly nice. It was something he could see himself getting used to, though he knew he shouldn't. There was a hundred other things he could be doing right now, and loitering with a nobody researcher was hardly on the list.

One more day, he tells himself. But he's been saying that for a little too long already.

all works © wishluc. do not copy, steal or repost my works on other platforms. (including translations)

[suzy-queued]

Hi! I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your writing. I've read several of your fics on AO3 and they never disappoint. I've written some as well but I still consider myself very new lol. I wanted to ask you, how did you get started with writing and do you have any advice for new fanfiction writers on how to improve their writing? Thanks!

Oh, wow! This really made my day!! You have quite a few fics on AO3. I look forward to checking them out. 😍😍

I got started in writing very slowly and then all at once. I worked in fields related to writing, like as a newspaper editor and as a proofreader. My goal was to be a cover artist, so I hung out with a lot of authors. I met my husband (an author), and he and I talk about writing craft all the time. He said for … oh, 15 years or so … that I should write. I refused.

I dipped my feet into writing some YA fantasy (original works), but that never gained traction. When I watched Shameless, I got this tingle up my spine and said, "These are the characters I've been trying to write into all my failed stories. How did they crawl out of my brain?!"

The pandemic was tough, emotionally. I felt trapped and defeated in 2020. I said, if I could do absolutely anything without fearing judgment from anyone, what would I do? And the answer was, write Shameless fan fiction. So I did. And it made me so happy. Still does.

I could talk for hours about writing and tips and advice. I'll try to pinpoint the most important things, for me.

Read. Consume other stories. Read them with a critical eye. Ask what works and what doesn't. Study the way they punctuate and break their paragraphs and put words together. Pay close attention to anything that moves you and try to dissect what you like about it. Always keep your antennae up for inspiration, because you'll find it in unexpected places.

Don't take it too seriously. I love love love AO3 because you can put works up whenever you want. It's my refrigerator, and I'm a child drawing with crayons. Look what I created! The way to improve is to continue to create. The way to continue to create is by not letting your stupid mind get in the way. Just write stuff. Write silly stuff. Write half stories. Take chances. You will develop your own sense of what works and how to improve your craft. That will come naturally with repetition. Don't get hung up on making something perfect (my inner perfectionist laughs defensively).

Keep it fun. Maybe that means talking about your writing with a friend. Maybe participating in fandom events (@galladrabbles are wonderful for making you think about every single word you put down). If writing is a chore or a grudge match, that bitterness will come out in your prose. Hey, this is your happy place! Make sure you actually enjoy it. It's easy to obsess over readers and comments, but do the best you can to write for only YOU. Keep yourself satisfied.

I am so happy that you reached out! Thank you for the love! I wish you nothing but the best with your writing!

[blush-and-books]

Top 5 all-time favorite ships?

TEA!!!

Warning - this list is literally just the same m/f couple in different fonts. A lot of these were more formative and influential in my childhood or were from series that are from a couple years ago. I am naming these as my top five because of how insane I went over them/how hard I hyperfixated on them.

When I made this list I was disappointed to realize that there hasn't been a wlw couple from a series or movie that has influenced me this powerfully, but I hope to find it soon and if you have any recs lmk! :) Will also include honorable mentions!

1. Kirsten Clark and Cameron Goodkin, Stitchers (2015-2017)

This is tied with Julie and the Phantoms for one of my biggest hyperfixations ever. Kirsten and Cameron were a slowburn that was done really beautifully and nobody was doing it like them. I watched this show at a very pivotal developmental point in my life, and I think these two taught me a lot about the work that a relationship takes and the fact you have to be willing to put it in - they were a healthy relationship example for me at a time that it was necessary for me to see it. They have a lot of character development over 3 seasons but grow together in healthy ways, and the writers kind of bake it into the plot that they're meant to be lmao. They also are just a great example of loving someone for everything that they are. They definitely made me a little mentally ill but also inspired me to be a writer, so...

2. Julie Molina and Luke Patterson, Julie and the Phantoms (2020)

I don't know how long you have been following me anon, but if I've been on your dash at all in the past couple years, it was most definitely related to Julie and the Phantoms, and probably related to Julie and Luke. In one season, they had insane development and beautiful chemistry. The way their characters were written made them naturally fit together, and made me cry "soulmates!" quite often. I will forever mourn what they could have been, and be grateful for some of the most stellar works of fanfiction I've ever read that were produced in their name.

3. Anne Shirley Cuthbert and Gilbert Blythe, Anne With An E (2018-2020)

Technically they're from the whole Anne of Green Gables Universe but AWAE is one of my Shows Of All Time ™ lol so I'm crediting them to the show!!! Just everything about them..amazing. Definitely gave me unrealistic expectations for love tho bc who tf assaults a man and still bags him in the end!??? Anne. She's that bitch and I haven't reached that yet but I'm working towards it.

4. Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy, Pride & Prejudice (2005, dir. Joe Wright)

This is another one of those ships where I'm like if you've followed me long enough you could have seen this coming lol. These two are from the general Pride & Prejudice Universe, first created by the lovely Jane Austen, but P&P 2005 is by far my favorite movie of all time, and it is still breathtaking every time I watch it. Keira Knightley and Emmy Award Winner Matthew Macfadyen are really a perfect pair and their adaptations of the characters are so genuine and whole. Everything I do, I do for them.

5. Nina Martin and Fabian Rutter, House of Anubis (2011-2013)

My original Ship of All Time. Was very mentally ill over them. I rewatched this show last year and I expected to be like "oh god this is cringe how did young me like this so much" but instead I was like "oh god this is so well written how could anybody hate this show." Yes it has its silly moments but I could write essays on how well it was written. The foundation of trust between Nina and Fabian was more powerful than any "do you trust me?" YA teen fantasy movie moment of the 2000s. Fabian was the blueprint for every fictional crush I have had since.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Kaz Brekker and Inej Ghafa, Six of Crows Duology and Shadow & Bone TV series

Aziraphale and Crowley, Good Omens

Su-hyeok and Nam-Ra, All Of Us Are Dead

Joyce Byers and Jim Hopper, Stranger Things

Zoya Nazyalensky and Alina Starkov, Shadow & Bone Trilogy and TV series (yes I am a Zoyalina truther sorry)

Dan Humphrey and Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl (will I receive hate for this one? to be determined)

Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson, Stranger Things

John B and Sarah Cameron, Outer Banks

Ethan and Sarah, My Babysitter's a Vampire

[baratrongirl]

Fanfiction Trope Meme

Stolen from @pigeontheoneandonly, who I don't know at all. Saw it in their blog and went "I like these questions". Rules: copy/past and bold your fic preferences and tag someone to do the same. I don't ever explicitly tag people because I don't want anyone to feel put on the spot when they could be having a bad week/month/year. I'm interested in all my friends' answers, so answer the questions if you want to.

slow burn or love at first sight. (Good question. I tend to think that love at first sight is unrealistic, because you only know what someone looks like, not who they really are. So I suppose I prefer slow burn where the affection grows as the people get to know each other.)

fake dating or secret dating. (Ugh, I like both! Though secret dating wins with Klapollo - dating in secret because Klavier's a rock star and they don't want the tabloid hassle.)

enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers. (This is how my relationships have worked in real life. We've always been friends first - at least for the relationships that have actually LASTED.)

oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance with correspondence. (Ack! I can't decide! *squishes Klapollo into one bed* vs LDR with Apollo in Khura'in and Klavier in Los Angeles/Tokyo?)

hurt/comfort or amnesia. (HURT/COMFORT. Finally, an easy one!)

fantasy au or modern au. (This one depends on the original setting. If it's a fantasy setting, a modern AU. If it's a modern setting, then a fantasy AU!)

mutual pining or domestic bliss. (Get it together, silly boys! Of course, I'm talking about Klapollo again. With some of my other ships, I prefer them to simply communicate and sort their relationship out.)

smut or fluff. (I like both BUT if we are simply talking about tropes in the absence of plot, I prefer Porn Without Plot to Fluff Without Plot. Fluff Without Plot leaves me feeling unfulfilled, like I ate candy floss when I wanted a meal. Fluff WITH Plot is fantastic, and I've written quite a few Teen-rated fics myself. Smut is definitely not essential for a good story.)

canon complaint or fix-it fic. (Fix-it!!)

alternate universe or future fic. (AUs are fascinating.)

one-shot or multi-chapter. (Depends on the story, of course. If it's high-quality, I can easily read 150k of fic in a night. What is this "bedtime" thing you speak of?)

kid fic or roadtrip fic. (I am not really a fan of either, but I LOATHE kid fic. Fan-created OC children make me break out in metaphorical hives. Though - I say that, and I would still absolutely love to read a story where Trucy (aged 25+) offers to be the surrogate for Klavier and Apollo, since she is Apollo's sister and has the most similar genetic makeup to him. I guess I'm more interested in the negotiations (will they accept it? Does Klavier even WANT children which are genetically his considering how Kristoph turned out?) than the actual part where a baby exists.)

reincarnation or character death. (NEVER character death, I hate it - and it's an actual squick to the point of being triggering with my main ship. Whereas reincarnation, finding each other again and again in different worlds over time - OMG I love.)

arranged marriage or accidental marriage. (Especially if accompanied by queer lawyers with legal shenanigans.)

high school romance or middle-aged romance. (Middle-aged fans demand middle-aged Blorbos! 35 is not "old", you teenage Narumitsu fans.)

time travel or isolated together. (Can't decide. As long as it's not a tragedy where they're separated by time, or where one is already a ghost while the other is alive, I don't much mind.)

neighbors or roommates. (No actual preference.)

sci-fi au or magic au. (Slight preference for magic, but only because SF is hard to write well.)

body swap or genderbend. (No preference, though I should perhaps observe that F/F Klapollo are barely any different to M/M Klapollo unless you're writing smut. Body swap, however, is hilarious because you have Mr Tall, Skinny, and Beautiful suddenly inhabiting the body of Mr Short, Buff, and Ordinary - and vice versa.)

angst or crack. (Angst with a happy ending. But I do love a good crack fic too!)

apocalyptic or mundane. (Mundane please. Apocalyptic fic stresses me out instead of being fun.)

[stylesispunk]

Hi! I’m so sorry your heart was broken ☹️ you know what? It’s THEIR loss kick um on down the line so long be a stranger lol 😁

So I have to get this thought out of my head since I saw your post

I used to feel really silly reading on this platform all kinds of stories about a fictional man or one of Pedro’s characters he plays fantasizing about having a relationship with someone like I read about in these stories I would ask myself why would I or anyone do that?? It’s fake.

One day it hit me well a fantasy man would not cheat on you throughout most of your relationship you wouldn’t find emails exchanged between them discussing their “steamy” nights together or you wouldn’t read all the negative things your spouse told the other woman about you that just irritated him about you I could go on and on about all the things a fantasy man wouldn’t do so no wonder why we are all on here daydreaming about Pedro’s characters because most men in the real world don’t treat a woman the way some of these fantasy men do in these stories just my opinion from my own terrible experiences

So my point is I know longer feel guilty and I’m happy I stumbled across this fandom and I enjoy reading sharing my thoughts and interacting with all of you writers I really like

I wish you all the best I really do thank you for writing and giving me an escape from the real world for awhile 💕😊

hahaha thank you for being so kind, but those are things that sadly happen during our lives.

Oh my god, i'm sorry to read about that man, my god that sounds despicable and horrible. Sometimes I still can believe that people like them exist and are capable of doing all this horrible stuff, breaking trust and confidence while they are aware of the pain they are causing. You are better than that, I'm sure of it. 🥺

And yes, I think most people who read a lot of fanfiction-books fantasies about it because you are able to get to taste the kind of love you dreamed of when you were little or the one you grew up believing it.

In my case, I know I write a lot of angsty things (from experience and all) and it is a way to cope or to share those feelings through writing. I think it is totally valid! I've seen some people complain about female characters being weak for crying, for falling in love or for suffering when I think it is part of some experiences.

It was so nice of you to come here and tell me all of this, you're so sweet and remember you're better than what happened, all those situations don't define you, but the person who did it.

I wish you all the best, so much love for you 🥹♥️

[waifu-napoleon]

Woah I didn't expect to get tagged in anything, thank you so much @ic-napology what a surprise! 💚

Hmmmm let's see, I probably don't think I can limit it to 7 movies but I will try my best! (also these are not in order, I'm just brainstorming movies that I really like) 😅

Aristocats (1970): One of my favorite Disney movies from my childhood next to the other classics (I was a huge Disney kid back then lol). It definitely made me fall in love with cats as some of my favorite animals and I still take inspiration from it whenever I draw cats myself which I do a lot. Plus the romance between Duchess and Thomas is adorable and omg a guy choosing a girl with children from a previous relationship just makes my heart melt with happiness!!

Return to Treasure Island (1988/1989): Yes, it was the memes. Yes, it's still the memes. Yes, I am a Team Fortress 2 fan. Yes, all of this is important information to know why I love this silly cartoon. I love watching the movie whenever I'm plagued by insomnia or I need a lighthearted laugh, my daily dose of based men if you want. I genuinely love all of the characters and my boyfriend and I have created a bunch of memes from it we use in our day-to-day conversations. It's a blast and has so much creative potential! Don't do drugs kids, or Livesey will hide in your closet tonight.

Dragon Ball Z: Fusion Reborn (1995): I grew up with Disney and fantasy movies and Anime (yeah I am cringe like that) and Dragon Ball Z has had a massive impact on smol bean me. It has cool animation, introduces one of the most powerful fusions in the universe and is just fanservice galore without tearing apart the main canon too much. Don't care if it's nostalgia speaking, DBZ: Fusion Reborn will forever have a special place in my heart!

Pride and Prejudice (2005): Great romance, endearing characters, pretty faithful to the book as far as I know. Also one of the more healthy romances in cinematic history! Definitely shows great character development and how one's able to change for the better, especially when motivated by the people you love.

Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-2003): The meat and potatoes, the holy grail, the bible of my childhood. Would you believe me if I said I spent years of my life writing fanfictions, watching youtube crack videos and AMVs and doing those little online quizzes to see which race I'd be if I was born in middle earth? Because boy oh boy did I spend a lot of time on that. It was tradition at our house to watch the trilogy over the christmas holidays and it definitely made those days even better. I watch those movies every now and again to this day and I don't intend on stopping. Certainly makes me wonder if I developed a type because of these movies... #JusticeForHaldir

Legend of the Guardians - The owls of Ga'Hoole (2010): The animation, guys! THE ANIMATION is just *chef's kiss*! I know the movie has huge flaws especially when compared to the books but boy, they sure made the best out of what they had. It's an absolutely beatiful movie!

Prince of Egypt (1998): Do I even have to say anything about this masterpiece? I'm not even christian or jewish or anything like that but that movie is amazing. From the incredible songs to the gorgeous visuals to the amazing voice acting, this movie has it all! Really made me hyperfixate on ancient Egypt for a while as well when I was a teenager lol. Highly recommend it!

There are a lot more movies I can think of that I love dearly but it said 7 so I shall stick to the rules lol. Sorry for the long post.

I don't know who to tag since this blog has received quite a number of followers over time and a few I know have already been tagged so I say I tag everyone lol! If you feel like sharing your favorite movies with the class, go a head! 🌺

Tagged by @mellow-killjoy :D

Rules: seven comfort films, seven people

I’m nottttt a movie girl so we’ll see :’)

Little Miss Sunshine (2006) - my favorite movie of all time, easily. I have seen this SO many times

Rodrick Rules (2011) - we always get together for movie nights, and watch whatever movie we have in mind, and then after it’s over we put on rodrick rules and fall asleep on top of one another on the couch. good times.

Ouran High School Host Club - the very first summer I was old enough to stay home alone, I would wait for my mom to leave for work, and I would pull all the pillows off the couch onto the floor and watch Ouran over and over again, absolutely enchanted. To this day, it still never fails to make me so happy, I will cry to the ending theme like it’s nobody’s business. So, that’s the closest thing I’ve got to a comfort show I guess.

The Hangover (2009) - uh. no comment.

Into the Spiderverse / Across the Spiderverse - yeah yeah we’re all obsessed with it, I know. I watched the original a whole bunch of times, can’t wait til the 2nd part is out on DVD so I can watch it on repeat :3

Call Me By Your Name (2017) - listen- for the longest time, I couldn’t stand this movie. I thought it was boring and confusing as fuck, everything is all subtext. Then I read the book and got obliterated by it, (mainly due to strangely similar events occurring in my life at the same time?). I had a LONG phase with this book; my copy is well-loved and covered in highlighter. when I watch this movie, it takes me back to the best summer I’ve ever lived.

Mean Girls (2004) - I can probably quote this all the way through :/

You guys don’t have to give any reasoning behind your choices! I just like to talk lmao. All of these are such basic choices but I’d call them modern classics :p

If you guys like tag games, join meee :D

@julesmars @cheerleadergee @frankairobong @i-am-an-atomic-bomb @mercurial-appovix05 @hyp-nagogia @darknessvisiible

[allwaswell16]

{Recently Read 1D Fics}

March 2021

These are all the One Direction fics I read and enjoyed in March. There are 16 recs here in all and are in order by word count and organized by pairing. You can also listen to my podcast to hear me talk about each of these fics as well as an overview of what was posted on ao3 in March! Please let the writers know if you liked the fics by leaving kudos and comments! Happy reading!

Fanfictional Podcast #23 | ko-fi | other fic recs

Larry

💚 somewhere in between lightning, jassy117, @nauticalleeds​, shiningdistractionwrites (E, 99k, Love Island au, exes to lovers, reality tv, contestants, baker Harry, student Louis, summer, side Ziam, pining, miscommunication, sexual tension, angst with a happy ending, flashbacks, smut, hoo boy the tension was murdering me all the way through)

💚 The Blood of Love, @mugglemirror​ (E, 25k, historical fantasy au, supernatural elements, dark, magic, mythology, strangers to lovers, pining, nurse Harry, artist Zayn, witches, body worship, smut, so creepy and cool and amazing)

💚 Whatever Floats Your Boat, @the-larry-way​ / larryftnoctrl (NR, 24k, fake/pretend relationship au, friends to lovers, roommates, cruise, vacation, past Harry/OMC, cuddling, banter, OMC wedding cruise, mutual pining, oblivious walnuts, implied smut, so fun and cute!)

💚 Stuck With You, millsx (T, 14k, famous/famous au, actor Harry, footballer Louis, quarantine, fake/pretend relationship, PR relationship, bed sharing, character injury, anxiety, light angst, great getting together fic)

💚 Don't You Remember?, @reminiscingintherain​ (M, 12k, exes to lovers au, songfic, Adele songs, songwriting, musicians, famous/famous, angst with a happy ending, open-ish ending but not really, absolutely loved the way the songs were woven into the story for maximum angst!)

💚 baby be with me (so happily), @voulezloux​ / localopa (M, 10k, pop punk au, singer Louis, hair stylist Harry, closeted character, coming out, outing, strangers to lovers, homophobia, angst with a happy ending, fluff, smut, love pop punk Louis and this was such an emotional fic)

💚 let's go for a walk down easy street, @solvetheminourdreams​ (G, 6k, vampire au, established relationship, vampire Louis, vampire Harry, newly turned Harry, supernatural elements, fluff, humor, powers/abilities, so sweet and funny!)

💚 Definition of Beauty, @zanniscaramouche​ / zanni_scaramouche (M, 6k, a/b/o, alpha Louis, omega Harry, Louis pov, high school au, oblivious Louis, pining, teen romance, soccer player Louis, light angst, non explicit smut, heat/rut, god this was glorious and I’m obsessed with it)

💚 As one we are everything/We are everything we need, @louloubabys1992​ / louloubaby92 (M, 5k, a/b/o, alpha Louis, omega Harry, established relationship, newlyweds, first time, fluff, insecure Harry, smut, wow this was so gorgeous and lovely and emotional and sensual)

💚 it could've been worse, anditsonlyforthebrave (NR, 5k, roommates au, quarantine, pining, TikTok, friends to lovers, love confessions, smut, oof I know this wasn’t angsty but it still got me right in the feels)

💚 There's Fur Everywhere, @londonfoginacup​ / LadyLondonderry (G, 4k, five times fic, werewolf Louis au, misunderstandings, humor, no smut, this was so cute and funny!)

💚 just want your tattoos, @musiclily / musiclily 88 (G, 1k, magical tattoos, magic, fantasy, time travel, unique and amazing)

💚 Best Couples Costume, @haztobegood (T, 666 words, Halloween au, quarantine, costumes, zoom call, bad puns, humor, crack fic, lol very silly and fun)

Lilo

💚 Miss Missing You, harriet_vane (M, 16k, Louis/Liam, amnesia au, injured Louis, established relationship, secrets, angst with a happy ending, smut, oof the tension and hurt)

Ziam

💚 your crimes are quiet, my love, @lightwoodsmagic​ (E, 97k, Zayn/Liam, Miss Congeniality au, M15, undercover mission, serial killer, pageant, agent Zayn, agent Liam, undercover Liam, pageant contestant Liam, friends to lovers, angst with a happy ending, violence, character injuries, hostage situation, hurt/comfort, jealousy, miscommunication, crime scenes, smut, holy shit this was such a page turner!)

Zouis

💚 Favourite Boy, @quelsentiment​ / wordsnnotes (T, 8k, Zayn/Louis, fwb au, pining, musician Louis, artist Zayn, London, music, banter, fluff, miscommunication, oh my god this was a must read!)

[artinandwritin]

I wanna hear everything about your Of Thrones and Heirs project (if you feel like talking about it ofc) because it sounds AWESOME, dude

And historically I have just loved your characters and stories lol

ly bestie <333333

Omg y e s ofc I wanna talk about it! Glad you wanna hear more about it cuz holy shit it's like opening a can of worms.

Of Thrones and Heirs (or OTAH, if we wanna get short lmao) is the book I've been working on since I turned 13 - which means this silly story has been in my head for 6 whole years. Holy shit. Seeing as it's been with me for so long, it has developed immensely over the last years and has seen many alterations.

It started as a very self-indulgent fanfiction, written for a school project by me and four of my friends at the time. We used our own names (at the time I still most frequently used the name my parents gave me, Manon, instead of the nickname given to me by one of my best friends, Mona. Funfact, that same friend also helped write the first version of OTAH!), used plotlines that aligned most with our own fantasies, and inserted already existing stories into it.

Hey, what can I say. We were preteens and as I've said before, teens are just idiots in nature /j. For the information, I'm technically still a teen. Turning 19 on November 8th.

Now I'd like to inform you a bit on the storyline of this first iteration of OTAH, written between October and December of 2016, the time before I actually knew how to write a well-developed story. Hold onto your seat, darling, this is gonna be one heck of a ride. Oh, and I'll totally provide excerpts, translated word by word from Dutch. Just because I can.

The Destiny of Five (2016);

We open up on a small prelude by a 13-year-old Manon. She tells her readers about world, a strange one, one no-one has ever seen before. However, she has been there, has seen its dragons, its elves, the creatures one can only dream about. She informs us that she and the friends she has visited this world with have decided to write their findings and their story down, and closes with expressing her wish that this book inspires the readers and makes them realise how even their own world can consist of magic.

After this, we get a list of characters we meet in the book. After starting on Manon and her friends (for their own privacy, I will change their names. Mainly cuz I have had a severe falling out and have some lingering traumas over one of them and would like to not be reminded of that lmao), Sander, Norneth, Fioré, and Laventher (these names will also return in future iterations, funfact!).

Next to that, we get a little introduction on the side characters, and this is where we get a bit weird. We "meet" Hiccup and Astrid (because little Mona and her bestie were the biggest fans of HTTYD even at that age), and Saturno and Spica (the main characters of a fantasy serie by Geronimo Stilton little me was obsessed with). With that information, we start the story.

Closing in on the group of five friends we've met in the introductions, we see them walking out of their Dutch class of the day. They have been assigned to go to the library and pick a book that interests them (even tho that isn't clearly stated lmao) and are not happy about that. Well. Sander isn't. Little Mona and Fioré are. After some shenanigans, they reach the library, however, Little Mona halts them right in their step. She has a strange feeling, like something is going to happen.

"And suddenly little Mona yells: 'Stop! We have to stop!'

And everyone stopped.

'What is it this time!' Sander sounds outraged.

Little Mona gulps and her eyes seem fearful. 'I don't know, but we have to leave! Something is going to...'

Suddenly, a car drives at us in full speed. He can't stop. He scoops Sander.

A few minutes later, an ambulance arrives, who takes Sander to the hospital.

'Let's go to the library. Sander didn't want to go anyways,' Little Mona says.

'So let's do that!' Fioré steps on her bike. The others quickly follow."

The epitome of storytelling, I know. After that marvelous display of friendship, the rest of the group arrives at the library. There, Little Mona and Fioré see a strange library worker walk out of a hidden room. They decide to enter that hidden room - as if that isn't just a storage room and the library worker is just doing their work - and find a strange, shining book. And cuz they have no impulse control, they steal the book and go to the hospital Sander is at, to visit him or something. Fun times.

However, when Sander opens this strange book, the five children get sucked into it. Classic. When they open their eyes, they find themselves in a case of glass, their bodies starting to fade. Oh shit, goes through their minds, but it's already too late.

Suddenly, Fioré and Little Mona are in an all too familiar place; Berk. Dragons everywhere, they meet Astrid (cuz she's an icon) and are brought to the village. Fioré runs off to do whatever the fuck - Little Mona brings her back and they get to take a good look at themselves; Fioré looks exactly like a dragon rider, and Little Mona suddenly looks like a little elf. Very strange. However, a problem rises; the rest of their friends aren't with them.

Let's turn our gaze to Laventhel, who has ended up on the very Dutch island Vlieland. Yes. This is a real island located in the north of the Netherlands - that's how Dutch we were in this book.

Meanwhile, Norneth is in a city of fire, where she meets a crazy old man, dubbing him the crazy old man. Deep sigh. He is a firewizard and they argue for a very long time.

Fioré and Little Mona talk to HiccStrid and meet Saturno and Spica, two knights from a special knight island. How fun! They're making friends. Damn, this was self indulgent and I love it. Take me back pls.

A lot of filler follows; Laventhel meets an old man as well and learns that they're in the year 2070 (which, okay, very accurate with the lore I suppose? I guess that's what happens when you write a book with five people lmao), and that Vlieland is slowly sinking into the sea. Laventhel is gonna save the island!

Meanwhile, Fioré and Little Mona remember the book that took them to this new world, and decide to not open it until they have found their friends. They get dragons of their own to go and find them, a Night Fury named Arya for Little Mona and a Stormcutter named Cloud for Fioré. Fioré can suddenly talk to animals and Little Mona is an airbender, which is fun. They leave to find their friends with HiccStrid and the two knights.

Laventhel realises she's a waterbender and finds a horse. Sander has some hijinks and loses his memory. He immediately decides to become the evil overlord of an army of evil people he hypnotises to do his bidding, as you do. He becomes a firebender and a teleporter out of sheer rage. Apparently he can also steal powers, but it never comes up again.

Fioré, Little Mona and Sander run into each other and have an epic battle. The girls try to tell Sander he is their friend, but he can't remember. They part ways again, and Sander is gonna try and take over the world. Way to go, 13-year-old.

Laventhel fights a watersnake and realises she needs her friends to save Vlieland. As she does that, Fioré, Little Mona, and Norneth reunite for some reason. Apparently, Little Mona is psychic or something, cuz she can see the future. They inform Norneth of Sander's evilness and the next day, they run into Laventhel, who has left Vlieland to search for her friends. This, they do. Vlieland is saved! Good way to end that plot.

However, things are twarted as Sander and his evil army hypnotise Norneth and make her evil too. Little Mona sees this happen, but gets caught and falls into an intense confrontation with Sander. As they fight, Little Mona gets drained of her strength, but Fioré and Laventhel save the day just in time. They lock the two evil kids up - Little Mona gets a bit manipulated by Sander as he pretends to know her again and he summons his army. Another fight happens, and it doesn't end well this time. Sander manages to hypnotise everyone, but suddenly remembers his past with his friends. He is back to being himself for a moment, which is great, but doesn't last long. At night, he turns evil again and he and Norneth kidnap therest of the group, minus Laventhel, who manipulates the two to let her go back to Vlieland. In secret, she raises an army against her friends.

Little Mona and Sander fight a lot again, the tension is real as apparently they are each other's equal in match. Eventually, the war starts as Laventhel brings her armies to Sander's kingdom. And epic battle ensues and guess how the two evil friends gets turned good again? Well, um...

"Fioré and Cloud fly up to Little Mona and Sander, who are fighting. 'Hey, Little Mona. A question: if someone is evil and gets a stone thrown against her head and her cape turns white, is she good again?' Fioré asks.

She answers Fioré without looking up. 'Yes, indeed. Why?'

Fioré yell: 'Norneth turned good!'"

Yes, they solve the conflict by throwing a stone against Sander and Norneth's heads. The war is over, and friends go back home again.

This first iteration is… something. Yeah, it sure is something. What it is, I am not sure, to be honest, but it was my first work of fiction and I’m glad I did it. Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have been the person I am today, which I’m pretty proud of.

After this, I wrote two sequels in the span of a few months, this time on my own and not for a school project. My friends didn’t work with me on those, it was just ya girl. However, about a year after that, I decided to redo everything from those first books and turn it into something completely new. It would no longer be a self-insert story, instead being about a new group of people who were basically me and my friends, but with different names. I don’t have the whole plot for this, cuz this version actually never got finished and got changed so often I couldn’t keep track, but I’ll try my best to recreate it in a satisfying way.

Myths (2017-2020);

Fifteen years ago, a young queen, Daphne Liber, dethroned in a senseless war against a family named the Farunturs and having lost her entire family, made a deal with the Gods to save her newborn daughter. She died because of this, but the daughter and heir to this kingdom, the Kingdom of Erujishan, is saved.

In the present, we get an introduction to Miraya Liber and Sander, two middle school kids, best friends for life. They go through life as one normally would, growing up happily. However, one incident throws their entire lives into disarray; two girls, Fioré and Norneth, show up to kidnap Mira and bring her back to the Kingdom of Erujishan to take back her throne. Mira is like, hell no, I have no idea what you’re talking about, cuz she has gained some spunk in the last few iterations, and she and Sander flee from them. Fioré and Norneth go crazy when they hear Sander’s last name; Faruntur.

All efforts of the two teens are stopped when the intruders get to them and suddenly, they are teleported out of this world, into an entirely new one, separated and alone. Mira, disoriented and terrified, meets the surviving Libers, Dawn, her husband, her grandfather, etc. Fioré turns out to be her cousin, a girl who can talk to animals, and Norneth is a family friend with fire magic. Mira is determined to find Sander again so they can go home, but that can’t happen. The girl’s grandfather explained that the world Mira and Sander grew up in was the afterlife and that she has been in a life-saving coma for the last fifteen years, having been brought back to save the kingdom.

Which, okay, fine, but I don’t think it would be very safe to let a fifteen-year-old save a kingdom. Heck, I’m almost 19 and I don’t even know how to drive. And also, this opens up a lot of weird plotholes I’d love to explore some other time (like, um, how tf did they put Fioré and Norneth in a coma? Wut? If the exchange to putting someone in a magic coma like that is taking the life of another, who in the world died to get Fioré and Norneth into the afterlife? That’s a story that should be explored).

Mira learns she has air magic and that the Libers want to use her to get the throne back from the Farunturs, which is always fun. However, Mira now has shifted her goal to finding Sander and getting away with him, away from this war she has fallen into. She and Fioré, together with Fioré’s dragon, Kumo, sneak away to the city of Shin’yu, where they meet Arbre and Joyeux, two siblings, the children of the leaders of the city. They also meet two elves, Selene and Atlas, a couple. Now with a team, Mira’s hope to find Sander grows bigger.

However, Sander got brainwashed by the Farunturs. Turns out, he, as a child, after the Farunturs learned of Daphne Liber’s sacrifice to save her daughter, got send to the afterlife as well as a way to keep him safe of all harm. Now, they washed him clean of all his memories to make him the perfect heir – throwing away he has an older sister and cousin who are both much better rulers than him, smh.

Sander and his sister, Mavis, get send into the world for… reasons, together with a traitor of the Libers. Turns out, Norneth is just a traitor! Yes, this has a real life reason. The person she was based off of, who I thought was a friend, and I had a huge falling out during this time. They kinda stabbed me in the back and the trauma ran deep after that, so I decided to make their character an absolute bitch instead of doing the more logical thing, which was write Norneth out of the story. But, I guess Little Mona needed this to mentally survive and not get more fucked up.

They meet Mira and the gang in Shin’yu, and a fight ensues. Norneth kills Kumo and Selene (not that we really cared about them as we had only known them for like. A chapter.) and Sander turns out to be able to control fire. He and Mira got into a shouting match and Sander yelled at her to stop calling him Sander. His name was Arashi now. After this, he ran off, leaving Mira alone in the ash and dust.

Arbre, with his village now destroyed, blamed Mira for the cost he had paid, as Atlas grieved his girlfriend. Fioré just cried over Kumo’s corpse – and Mira realized the pain Erujishan was in because of the Farunturs. She would get to Sander in another way, but saving this kingdom seemed more important at the moment.

The gang returned to the Libers’ hide-out, where plans got hatched to rage a war against the Farunturs. However, as Mira begged her family to let her help, she got pushed away, being told her admiration of that Faruntur boy would be their undoing. As she was send off, she walked into her grandfather, Riyu. He expressed his desire for a shared rule between the Libers and Farunturs, and Mira agreed. After they had parted ways, however, Mira got kidnapped by the Farunturs.

When waking up in a cell, Mira was greeted by Mavis and Sander. While Mavis mocked her, Sander had a strange kind of concern in his eyes, leaving Mira wondering about his thoughts. She met the Farunturs’ leader, the grandfather Jinsei. However, as they left, Sander expressed his concern outloud and the two kids bonded over their shared history, even if Sander couldn’t remember any of it. The boy, his social abilities being wacky, kissed the heir of the Libers through the prison bars, and the next morning, he helped her escape. They rode to the Libers’ newly established front by horse, where Sander got threatened and was forced to ride back home. The kids kissed again. I guess I really shipped them.

Mira was brought to her family and met a strange girl in a dark coat. Her name was Yami and she was a necromancer – she had raised an army of the dead in Mira’s absence, consisting of old Libers and their warriors. Thus, Mira reunited with the parents she had lost. Soon, the world got ready for yet another war, but this time between equals. Shit, I can’t imagine how fed up the normal people must be with the Libers and Farunturs. Like, oh damn, there they go again, guess I’d better pack up my farm again to let them wage their war. Pff I need a story about that.

Mira and Sander pretended to fight as the large battle around them started, the two fronts yelling and screaming at each other. Atlas killed Norneth in revenge, Arbre’s sister Joy got killed as well. Mira’s father tried to kill Sander in an act of rage, but the girl threw herself in front of his sword.

Half a year later, Mira woke up again. She had fallen into a coma again – oops? – and the war had passed. Sander had gotten his memory back, and the two reunited tearfully. The ghosts had returned to the afterlife and life was slowly getting back to normal again. For some reason, Mavis had been crowned to be queen? I don’t know man.

Anyways, the kiddos kissed again. Nothing could keep them apart anymore.

And that was this iterations. This is getting pretty long but I love infodumping about this story and I have literally never been able to do that to this extent lmao. Most of my friends got superannoyed when I did lmao. This version… well, it’s something. At this point, most original plotpoints were thrown out of the window and the kids were completely their own characters. This version has seen me through a lot of up and downs and it was always something I could return to, even when I had nothing.

And oh, I sure had nothing at times through this. As many of you can second me on, being a teen is brutal. Friendships ended, I got a boyfriend who was way too romantic from day one and ended things way too quickly, I created other stories and my homelife worsened severely cuz my father isn’t the best person. I believe that around the end of this era, I also created Siri and Niv, who were also a huge source of comfort for me at the time.

In March of 2021, I started reworking some things for this story and changed its name to Of Thrones and Heirs. Many characters got removed and changed, plus the story got a total rewrite. And damn, that was a lot to figure out, but this version got finished. In a repeat of history, I finished OTAH for a school project, in nine whole months.

So, thus, the story of Of Thrones and Heirs, my personal favorite iteration of this project and the definite summary of this tale.

Of Thrones and Heirs (2021):

On a cold day in the middle of winter, Mireya Liber, former heir to the throne of Cadence, tried to infiltrate the palace. Eleven years ago, when she was merely seven years old, her family had been dethroned and slaughtered in what seemed like a senseless beg for power from the Farunturs and the normal folk. Ever since then, she had been trained and taught to take back her throne from those wicked Farunturs and let her family rule once again.

A manipulator, a trickster, a mind of her own; things that help Mira get past the gates, despite her family’s demands. They don’t think her ready for such a serious task like taking back the kingdom. However, to her, this would be the day. She would take back Cadence for the Libers. But, things don’t go as planned as she fell into the hands of the prince of the kingdom, Lysander Faruntur. A young man with a kind smile and gentle hands, he had never seen the outside world in all its glory. His sister, Mavis, would soon be crowned queen; he was itching for it to happen.

Lysander thinks Mira is just a peasant girl, here to help around, and quickly takes a liking to her, believing her name to be Amire. He takes her around the castle, talking and talking, as Mira shudders in rage at the thought of even walking next to a Faruntur. However, maybe this can work to her advantage. Maybe she can use the prince to get close to the princess.

Thus, she fell in a careful dance around him as her family tried to get her back into their hands. Dawn, the woman who raised her and her cousins, Fioré and Silas, send Fioré after her, angry with Mira’s sudden independency. Slowly, but surely, both Mira and Fioré, the latter having flourished after leaving the Libers and working on their own, realized what the world turned out to become in their years of hiding.

Maybe the Farunturs really made things better.

Mira wasn’t ready to admit that, but as she got closer to Lysander, the switch in her mind slowly got flipped. They discovered a world outside the palace, basked in the freedom it suddenly gave them – but Mira’s internal struggles only worsened and worsened. Should she uphold her duty, or should she choose her own path?

Fioré befriended Mavis, a nervous woman with her heart in the right place. Her leadership would be grand, her plans for the world ever so great. While Fioré was quicker to turn themselves away from the Libers than Mira, they still didn’t know how to tell the princess about their Liber-DNA, about Mira’s plans, or Dawn’s.

I won’t be going into all the details here, since it’s really a damn lot and I will probably publish this story someday after I’ve polished it, but the gist is that Mira, after a lot of ups and downs, learns to trust Lysander and rely on him. With this, she isn’t an heir anymore, and Dawn rages in her disobedience.

And after this, now the two sides are established, the real fight for the throne begins.

So that’s OTAH! The roster of characters is larger than I’ve made clear here and the details are more intertwined as well, but these are the basics. Mira, Lysander and Fioré are some of my favorite characters I have ever created and they’re more dear to me than I can ever express. I hope I’ve put some clarity on this mystery project of mine and that I have entertained you <3

Ly too bestie!! And thank you so much for letting me infodump haha <3

[yanderecandystore]

PLEASE i need more of your among us concept, it was so good!

Hi!! How are you doing? I saw a lot of people want more of these, so I wanted to gain some time to be able to come up with more stuff about Yandere Among Us.

So, I hope you didn't wait too long. How about we continue where we left off?

But this time with an proper begining.

TW/Tags: Everyone is fighting // more characters because I hate myself! // Shy boy is a really suspicious boy // not as much as yandere tendencies, but maybe the start of them?? // All characters have real names, but calling each other by colors is a formal military way in this universe, ya know? // Mentions of blood and possibly (just maybe) scent kink 👀 // It may low-key not be like the original game but I tried ;-;

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖��

"- You're pretty sus, not gonna lie." Ch - 1 [Yandere!Among Us x Reader - Short Fanfiction]:

(Ch - 2)

"- And then I told her:' Yo, your chicken is dry as hell!' And then she beat me with a stick." You were currently talking with your best pal, Cyan! You two were in the cafeteria taking a snack-break, while everyone was trying to repair the ship by doing their own assigned tasks.

"- H-Heh, that's so you [Y/N]." Cyan said, although their tone was extremely off, like they didn't know what to say. They haven't eaten anything since the day began, and you were starting to worry if they were okay or not.

"- Buddy, are you okay? You haven't touched any of the snacks I brought you, you haven't even eaten a single marshmallow yet, and I thought these were your favorites!" You told them while shoving more potato chips down your mouth.

To you, the situation was mildly confusing, but to "Cyan" it was an absolute nightmare! How are they supposed to keep this up?? You're going to end up blowing their cover, they just know it!

They started to consider making you their next meal, yet if they did it right now everyone would be suspicious of them, since "they" have been with you ever since you two went to do tasks.

Stars help them, because things can go wrong any minute now! They were sweating under the suit out of nervousness and because of how hot and wet the suit was.

They didn't have time to clean the blood inside of the suit, so it was basically really, really sticky inside it.

They were disassociating until you've put your hand on top of theirs.

"- Cyan, what's wrong?!" You sound so worried, so loud yet concerned. For someone that was floating through space using asteroids to move around, your voice is so- Different, from the empty void out there. They aren't accustomed to this feeling yet.

"- I-I am! Don't worry about it, I, I think I just had a really long day, that's all." They lied through their teeth hoping that you would fall for it. But of course, you're way too stubborn to fall for that.

"- Are you sure tho? I- I could call White to see if you're sick, or maybe-" You were interrupted by the Cyan's scream while they suddenly stood up.

"- No! No, please- You-" Stars, they're terrible at this, aren't they?? They just need to shush you for now, they can't let you call someone else! The more people around them the more anxious they'll be and they will obviously be exposed to-

"- Look, [Y/N]-" -They tried to calm themselves, everything is fine, they just need to think of a way to make your worries go away- "- I'm fine, I promise, okay?" They said while putting their hands on your cheeks forcing you to look at their space suit's helmet.

You feel flustered by the sudden movement. Not only were you caught off guard by their sudden reaction, but-

This- this little thing that they did? Was starting to blossom a lot of unwanted flowers inside your heart.

' God, take a grip [Y/N]! You can't be all flustered in a time like this!' You think to yourself while shaking your head to wipe the lovey-dovey thoughts out of your mind.

You just can't help it though! You guess that ever since your team has been stuck in space- No, ever since you first met Cyan in the facility on Earth and were introduced to your team as their new crewmate, you have found yourself having a crush on Cyan. You hate to admit this, but yeah, they were always kinda… Cute, to you.

Ah well, Cyan was always the rascal, the flirty over the top one. The one that was always playing around yet also keeping their head strong when facing a conflict. Always so radiant yet so down to earth. Oh well, here you go, simping again, oh geez...

You try to wake yourself from your fantasy world, this is not the time [Y/N]!

"- Okay-y then! I-I'm really sorry if I was bothering you!" You try to speak up yet you stutter all the way, making you feel embarrassed at how silly you're acting right now.

And while you're dealing with your inner struggles, Cyan is looking at you really confused (not that you would be able to see it because of their helmet). There is something really strange about the way you talk to them that is making them wonder what your previous relationship with this "Cyan" human was all about, and wondering if they can keep it up with this charade if they observe you and learn more about, well, "how to be themselves" around everyone else.

Actually, this may work perfectly! By getting small clues out of you, they'll be able to decipher how to properly imitate humans!

But, they're still oblivious to human emotions, so this may take more time than expected, luckily you two can spend a lot of time alone-

"- Yooooo, look over there y'all!" You two heard someone shouting while coming into the cafeteria. Oh God, really?-

Of course it was Red, who else would be making fun of you two?

Well, he is not mean, he is just- ARGH!! He keeps picking on you for liking them, and it frustrates you so much when he comes looking all smug-

If your face could, it would turn itself into a tomato and probably pop off of your body and roll away from the embarrassment.

Wow… Okay, that was a little exaggerated, but still!-

"- How is my favorite couple doing on this pleasant evening?" He said while coming forward. His words making you turn on your defensive mode instantly:

"- We're not dating you know! I told you this nineteen times, Geez, stop being an ass…" Yep, really subtle how your cheeks lighten up at the idea of being a couple with Cyan.

And while the rest of the crew is now appearing into vision and coming forward to the cafeteria, Cyan is losing their grip ever so slightly- They can't handle this! It's- It's literally too many of you!

They can't take out every single one of you at once! This is terrible!

They need- They need to calm down and take this suit off. The heat is starting to take over their head.

"- So, how's it been for you two? Ya know, beside all the smooching-" Red says as he looks directly at you awaiting your delicious response, which was a little pouty face, so it meant that his job was done for today "- Have you guys finished your tasks?"

"- Oh! Well, we didn't manage to complete everything, the lights turned off out of nowhere and we couldn't see anything!" You tell him honestly. You're still kinda sad about it, it sucks to finish the day without completing everything you needed to.

Everyone's gathering around and sitting at the main table, it's time for a dinner meeting and assignment of tasks for tomorrow before everyone goes to sleep. God, you already miss your bed so much!

"- Ha! I knew it wasn't just in one room!... But yeah honestly me too, I couldn't finish my task because of the blackout. All that I needed to do was to swipe the card though!" Red said, while stealing one of your snacks, which earned a little "hey" coming from you, he was only joking though, as he returns the snack back to you before he can eat any.

"- Well, don't worry, tomorrow we can finish it!" Said Yellow, trying to lighten up the mood by being positive.

"- I sure do hope so-" Orange was about to say when Blue came in and interrupted all of you.

"- But what if we can't do any of them tomorrow?" Their voice echoed through the cafeteria. Everyone was silent as Blue's words caused a new feeling to arise inside the crew's hearts. Despair.

As no one was saying anything, they continued-

"- You guys seriously haven't noticed our situation yet, have you? We're floating through space because or engines have been broken by the asteroids outside, we can't even navigate this spaceship-"

"- We're trying to fix this-" Pink started, but failed to continue.

"- And while we keep "trying" and not actually doing anything, we are all in danger! Even the facility has stopped communicating with us-"

"- Blue! That 's enough!" White had interrupted his rant. His yelling was starting to get hold of Yellow's feelings, she was always sensitive to yelling and loud noises in general. Truth is, that the most positive person in your group was truly the most negative one in this scenario, yet she wanted to keep everyone together, to keep bringing hope inside everyone, even though she herself didn't truly believed in that hope.

"- W-We-" Yellow tried to speak through her sobbing, trying to hold enough strength to control her bottled up emotions from spitting out.

"- Come on, take deep breaths, I know you can do this-" Black tried to comfort her, like he would to everyone aboard.

"- We-We are all going to die here-e." She whispered in between sobs. Her breathing became more frantic and more desperate for air.

It's the eight time this week someone had a breakdown while everyone was present.

"- Blue, seat down." White asked, yet her normally stern voice made it sounded more like a command, which Blue absolutely despised.

"- I'm-" Blue started, yet, stopped themselves. Wanting to say something towards their distressed crewmate yet deciding to go away and miss tonight's meeting. Again.

"- This is stupid." They said before leaving.

"- Blue come back this instant-" White tried to call them, they didn't even look back.

"- … Didn't even apologise…" Brown said, trying to keep his cool even though he couldn't stand Blue's antics ever since the ship was stuck in space.

"- D-Damnit!" Orange punched the table with her wrists. God, she hated every single second spent in this hellish place. She only retracted her anger when she noticed Yellow flinching from the sound.

"- I'm- I'm so sorry Yellow-"

"- It's fine! D-Don't worry about it!" She said while trying to keep her own little charade going on. But after a month, no one believes her at this point.

"- Yellow I can lead you back to your room! Do you want to company?" Said Pink, their voice sounding just as sweet and cute as their personality. The only one helping everyone stay sane by simply being there and saying "Hi!" every "morning".

"- I would like it." Yellow had calmed herself down enough so she could at least say a couple of words. She said her good nights and followed Pink back into her room.

"- It's another meeting wasted." Green said while packing their things.

"- Well, it could be worse, right? Good night everyone!" Said Purple not really caring about anything at this point.

"- Oh, come on everyone! Shouldn't we discuss our tasks for tomorrow?" Red asked, if not begged for them to come back. How has this happened? How has all your crew started to fall apart so easily?

"- Don't worry Red, we can do that tomorrow morning." Black said while comforting White who was having a headache because of the endless fights inside the spaceship.

This was the third time just this week that your meetings were interrupted by arguing. This is only the second time Blue has actually been the cause of it though.

"- Maybe they miss their family?" Lime asked while referring to Blue.

"- We all do." Brown said while standing up and going to his own bedroom. Muttering something through his teeth that no one could understand.

The whole situation happened so fast, you couldn't even understand what just happened!

"- Are, are we-"

"- Yes [Y/N], you're all dismissed." White answered already knowing what you were going to ask.

"- Oh…. Do you want some?" You asked motioning the snacks up to her, which surprised her yet she appreciated the gesture.

"- Thank you…." She whispered. You nod your head and decide to give her some space. You knew that you didn't need to worry too much about it, as Black was there to help her feel better.

If Black wasn't in this ship, she would have already fallen apart. All of you would.

"- Well, I guess dinner has ended sooner than expected!" Red tried to joke to lighten up your mood, to which you give a little chuckle. God, today is a really terrible day isn't it?

"- Uhn, hey, you're okay? You have been quiet throughout the whole meeting." Red asked Cyan.

Oh. Oh no, please no.

"- Uhn? Yeah? I… did?" They're so dead.

"- Yeah, it was… Pretty odd. Last time Blue yelled you had put them in their place, and it was pretty cool of you to stand for Yellow like that". Red said remembering that day. He didn't have anything against Blue, as he knew Blue is trying their best like everyone else. Yet he didn't like how Blue started to act like an ass lately, especially not even apologising towards Yellow or even the whole crew for that matter.

Cyan was sweating like crazy. They were panicking at the beginning of the meeting because of the amount of humans surrounding them, but when they noticed how easily humans let their distrust control them, they decided to let them speak and see what would happen. Seeing them argue with each other made them feel calmer and safer.

' I won't die!' They thought.

But now? They're raising suspicion again, by literally not doing anything??! How is this possible-

"- Well, it is true but, I don't know Red, Cyan has been pretty tired all day, and besides, Blue doesn't listen to us anymore, so it wouldn't matter anyway." You tried to reason. Yes, Cyan was acting a little different, being a little more shy than their normal self but come on now, everyone has their bad days! Maybe today they are not feeling really well….

You looked up at them, trying to show sympathy to your friend who you still thought was having some personal issues of their own.

"- Yeah! Exactly… Today has been pretty crazy! I think I just need some sleep.". Yeah, really crazy! Their body had hit an spaceship filled with free food, and then they had to disguise themselves as one of the humans inside so they could easily take one by one. But now? They're regretting each second of it! Stars, the anxiety eating them from inside is worse than being all alone in space.

Well, if they ever get out alive, they'll at least have some cool story to tell their own kind about…. If there is anyone waiting for them to return, that is.

"- Oh… That sucks buddy, but you got an point, I guess we all need to relax, and hey! Tomorrow is a new day right?" Red smiled at you two, offering a little bit of positive before you two went inside your rooms. Well, he offered a little bit of positive and a hug, to which you had gladly taken.

Although, Cyan was at first really confused about this gesture, so they stayed a little further away from the sign of affection.

"- Oh come on! Stop being a dork, come over here already!" Red said as he pulled Cyan into the tight hug. It was comforting but you couldn't lie that you felt sandwiched between the two, you tried to warn Red that you couldn't breathe, and Cyan was still panicking but now for a different reason.

Because of the helmet, their sense of smell has been limited considerably, yet by being so near to your bodies, they realized they could still take in your scent. Or maybe it was all the blood inside the suit? Who knows, they just knew that the idea of a next meal was absolutely mouthwatering, and they weren't even hungry! Maybe the idea of having a whole place filled with eleven people was starting to make them salivate uncontrollably, as a child having to wait until they can pick their next candy from the jar.

Maybe they could basket in your scent until they actually feel the need to consume another crewmate.

Red was the first to break the hug, but not before fussing your hair.

"- Well, that's my goodbye for today! I need to restore some energy before I can give you two more hugs!" He entered the door behind him, which lead to his room. An oddly well organized bedroom which was only a couple of steps before your own bedroom.

And after your bedroom, there was Cyan's bedroom.

He gave his last goodbyes before closing the door. You can't help but appreciate that dork, the endless bickering between you two was pretty fun in your opinion.

While turning your back you noticed that was Cyan looking straight at you this whole time, which caused you to squeak in surprise. God, they were way too close! And your hair is a mess!

"- Sooooo… I guess we're alone now, right?" You asked timidly, trying your best to make small talk which still came off pretty awkwardly. You avoided their gaze while trying to come up with what else to say.

"- Yes. Yes we are." Cyan said, their tone was unnaturally dark for their nature, yet when you noticed them approaching you closer, you realized what you said.

"- Oh! No, I didn't mean it like-" You tried to explain the the misunderstanding, thinking that Cyan was about to flirt back with you, even though your comment was purely without malice! You swear it!

"- No making out in the halls, ya love birds!" Red opened his door and screamed, with his smug little face.

"- Geez get a room you two!" Said Pink from the other side of the corridor, their voice being really faint because of the distance between you.

"- We were not, okay?!" You yelled hoping Pink would hear it.

"- Shhhh! Some of us are trying to sleep here!" Orange banged on her door while scolding all of you. Even though she herself was making a lot of noise.

"- S-Sorry!" You responded.

Cyan distanced themselves from you, fuck, every single one of them was hearing you two. Were they all listening to your whole conversation? How were they supposed to kill anyone if everyone is this spaceship is an gossip addict? Always listening for the next tea to be spilled.

While looking at your face they recognized that same hue popping off of your cheeks. Are you perhaps sick? Actually, now they have mentioned it- What would happen if they ate a sick human?

"- Your face is red." They mentioned nonchalantly.

"- Sigh… Yeah." You sigh defeated. What's the point of hiding something that is in your face?! Even if it's fainted, everyone can tell at this point. The only person you aren't sure if they know it yet is, well, Cyan themselves.

"- …"

"- …" An awkward silent start emerging from you two, until they ask:

"- Is it because of me?" Did they, I don't know, brought some sort of sickness aboard with them? Are you passing out? Should they be concerned that your meat could be possibly damaged because of this sickness?

Although their tone is really vague, you still interpreted the question as one of their flirtatious jokes. Truth is that Cyan loves going around flirting with everyone, even with you! And they know that this makes you flustered, so you can't tell if they do it because it's fun for them or if-

Or if they like you….. A little bit.

"- Oh no! You won't fool me this time, I know what you're up to!" You say dramatically, trying to change the conversation to have a more silly tone, yet your whole attempt was dismissed, because as soon as you said that, Cyan started shaking anxiously.

You knew? You knew?! Oh stars, they're done for! They're so dead now!

"- W-What?!" They scream, please don't hurt them, they were only hungry and trying to survive!

"- … Uhn, Cyan? I'm joking." You tell your really skittish friend. Geez they really were acting weird! Normally they would have returned your joke but they are acting so easily terrified!

Did something happen in electrical while you were away?

"- Cyan… Are you hurt? You never told me what happened when the blackout happened." You once again ask them if they were okay. What if… They are scared because of something that happened in electrical? What if… They saw something?

"- What? Oh, I'm- I'm sorry! I didn't mean to freak you out like that." They laugh realizing that you were only "joking" with them. Honestly, your jokes are going to be the death of them.

"- Are you okay tho-"

"- Yes, for the fifth time, I'm doing fine [Y/N]." They… Growled? What? Their sudden anger made you take some steps back, what just happened??

They didn't realize how their tone had come off, they needed to be more careful if they wanted to keep your trust. You… You look so distressed! Did they scared you that bad? If not, than why are you distancing yourself? Why are your eyes so… Watery?

"- I-I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to…." And why were they apologising? Why does your frightened face cause such an intense feeling inside them? They were supposed to harvest your fear as an way to easily control the situation, but instead they can't help but pity your current state.

"- I've been, really stressed out, I didn't mean to yell." They say, half true, half lie. I mean, their first day is already being so strange and stressful, anyone would've expected them to end up blowing up at some point.

"- No! No, don't worry about it, I, sigh… Honestly I'm pretty stressed out myself. I guess I was so worried about you that I ended up bothering you with my questions." You say while guilt starts to form inside you. You haven't given them enough space, maybe you been pestering them too much.

To be honest, everyone was so on edge that you should have expected something like this happening, even from someone as chill as Cyan. Before you even considered finding a way to comfort them so you two could talk about it, Cyan was faster than you and had managed to trap you in their arms.

"- Hey, it's fine. Don't worry too much, I'm glad you're worried but I can reassure you, everything is okay."

It's an little awkward long hug, but you don't really mind, it's not as suffocating as Red's was. Oddly enough, Cyan wasn't being dishonest, but that fact only brought more confusion inside their mind.

"- Well… Goodnight Cyan, I'll see you tomorrow, kay?"

"- Yeah, sure…"

After some time spent looking at the ceiling waiting to see if everyone else had gone to sleep, Cyan had gotten out of their bed and started to unzip the space suit frantically.

Putting it on wasn't so hard, but getting out of it feels ten times worse now that they're sweating and tainted with the blood from the suit's previous owner. They don't need oxygen, but the feeling of suffocation inside that thing was starting to get over their heads. They needed something to cool down, anything!

So that's when the ventilation came into mind. The cold air coming from it was pleasant but not nearly enough for them, so they opened the top and got inside.

The cold air mixed with the cool metal touching their skin felt amazing compared to the heat and blood inside the suit. They need to remember to not only clean the suit, but to clean themselves very soon.

Without the helmet, their senses are so much better. They can hear and smell better, the vibrations passing through the ship helping them understand where they are and where they're going, as technically, they're kinda blind.

But who needs a great sight when they can easily smell and hear their prey from kilometers away? Speaking of which, the vents sure do help them a lot in that regard, as they can hear the soft breathing of all of your crewmates sleeping.

The smell of flesh is absolutely incredible! Just the thought makes their mouth water, maybe they deserve a little "midnight snack".

"- Eeny. meeny. miney. You!" They were deciding which one of your group should be the next, and the answer seemed pretty obvious, why not go to the nearest person?

It could lead to some issues with the other crewmates, but when they smelled your scent the need to enter your bedroom was way more important than considering the dangers of acting without thinking.

While entering your room as quietly as possible, they took a look around until they found your sleeping body almost falling from the bed. This is their chance!

Coming near you, savoring in your heavenly smell and dreaming what your taste is like, they-!... They stopped themselves from doing anything.

Your face is going to hit the floor if you continue to slowly slip from your bed.

You speak in your sleep sometimes. Not actual phrases, just occasional words. It's funny actually.

They poked your face multiple times out of curiosity. Were you awake or just dreaming? It seems like it's the latter.

You're still falling in slow motion. There is both the need to see what will happen next, and help you get back into bed.

They could just watch and see what happens. Besides, it is too dark for you to see them anyway.

Hmm… What should they do? Maybe they're wasting too much time by being here. They need to make a decision, it's to either kill you or to go back to their room.

After a couple of minutes of observing, another option has appeared, and they chose that one over the other options. They helped you get back into bed, hopefully you won't slip out again.

Maybe they should stay, just to guarantee you don't fall.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[johannestevans]

Return to Normal Business

Hello!

I've been juggling a lot of health issues recently, and as a result of this I'd unfortunately dropped off my regular update schedule for a few months. I'll now be returning to the normal schedule, and a weekly update of works most recently published will be coming out on Saturdays going forward - this summary will be dispatched directly to inboxes by email via ButtonDown, as well as posted on  Tumblr.

I will be posting from Wales instead of Ireland for the foreseeable future, and as well as the usual retinue of TweetFic, essays and analysis, short fiction, and serial updates, I'm currently on a big Star Trek kick, and as well as posting episode analyses and likely specifically Star Trek: Deep Space Nine-themed essays , I'm also writing a bit of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine fanfiction at the moment!

If you're a fan of DS9 or Star Trek, it might be to your taste, but fanfic isn't part of any of my subscription models and of course, being fanfiction of a property that's not in the public domain, it won't be posted behind a paywall on Patreon or Medium - fanfiction will be posted on Ao3. It's just a little hobby stuff I'm doing on the side, so if people are into it, great, and if not, hopefully it's not too annoying in amongst the rest!

I'm going to put a summary of everything I've published since I last put out my weekly round-up in July and from here on, we'll be returning to our usual scheduled round-up each week.

Thanks so much for the patience and all the love, everybody! I'm feeling far, far better and much recovered compared to how I was a few months ago, and everyone's support has been lovely.

Summary of New Works Published

Serial Update: Powder and Feathers

Chapter Forty-Nine: Party Favour. Jean-Pierre and Aimé orchestrate their gangbang.

This chapter is pure filth.

Chapter content warnings: levels of dubious consent and consensual non-consent, with other men under the impression that Jean-Pierre is drunk; object insertion; messy sex; power exchange and power play; manipulation; rape fantasy; referenced violence; transphobia and misgendering; homophobia

Read on Medium / / Read on WorldAnvil

Serial Updates: An Uncommon Betrothal

Several updates of An Uncommon Betrothal have come out over the past few months, so I'm just going to pop a list of them all here!

Chapter Four: Read on Medium / / Read on WorldAnvil

Chapter Five: Read on Medium / / Read on WorldAnvil

Chapter Six: Read on Medium / / Read on WorldAnvil

Chapter Seven: Read on Medium / / Read on WorldAnvil

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Episode Analyses

This is a new format I’m going to be experimenting while working my way through Star Trek: Deep Space Nine over the next few months — I’ve seen the whole series many times before, and it’s my plan to do these write-ups which will be a mix of blog and live-reaction, character and story analysis and commentary, and other ephemera and thoughts on the show and the episode itself.

Effectively, the purpose of this and the other entries going forward is to do close-readings of each episode I have in front of me.

My main interests in watching Deep Space Nine are typically in queer-coding, the depiction of neurodivergence, mental illness, and disability, and in the Cardassians and the Ferengi.

S1:E1-E2 Emissary Part 1 & 2: Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon / / Read on Ao3

S1:E3 A Man Alone: Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon / / Read on Ao3

S1: E4 Past Prologue: Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon / / Read Ao3

TweetFic: A King's Man

The nastiest, NASTIEST men in this one, when an assassin is caught by his mark, the king, and held captive.

CW for violence, manipulation, heavily weighted power dynamics, consent issues, threats, and general MEAN Men.

Read on Twitter

Romance Short: The Blacksmith and the Florist

Romantic short: a chronically fatigued enchanter becomes fascinated with one of the neighbours. Adapted from a TweetFic — short and sweet! Discussions of chronic fatigue and pain throughout. Rated T, M/M, 2.3k.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon

Star Trek Deep Space Nine Fanfic: Tease

Garak/Bashir, Rated M, 1.5k. In the aftermath of the incident with Tahna Los, Garak catches Julian on the way back to his quarters.

Read on Ao3

Star Trek Deep Space Nine TweetFic: Aging Men

Garak/Bashir, bickering about growing older, dialogue only.

Read on Twitter

TweetFic: On The Job

Silly little slice of life and flirtation between a hotel receptionist and the new maintenance guy! Short and sweet.

Read on Twitter

Star Trek Deep Space Nine Fanfic: Interpersonal Studies

Fanfic serial. Garak/Bashir, Rated E, 15k+.

Garak and Julian work to get the measure of one another, each of them trying to see what's hidden under the other man's skin.

Playing with a lot of the canon relationship development but actually letting them touch and play with one another - leaning into Bashir's autism and his status as an augment from the beginning, not to mention his analysis of Garak, and Garak's own analysis of him.

Read on Ao3

Erotic Short: Suspended Pleasures

Rope bondage and potion play in the apothecary’s office. Rated E. 1k. M/M short between a cis apothecary and a trans partner.

Age difference, suspension bondage, overstimulation, crying, come inflation, and fear of getting caught, as well as mentions of exhibitionism.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon

Erotic Short: Fit For Purpose

Supervillains and superheroes, but with massive cocks and stretchy bodies. Oh, yes, you read that right.

M/M explicit short between a huge cis male alien superhero and a trans man supervillain with whole-body elasticity. 4.2k.

Silly and light in humour, but extreme on the porn! Featuring pheromones (mildly dubious consent for this, but both parties use pheromones to get their way, and are enthusiastically into it), come inflation, huge size difference, unrealistic sex, alien dicks, prodigious amounts of come, dom/sub, mild corporal punishment, undernegotiated kink, rough sex, objectification, dirty talk.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon

[intergalactic-zoo]

If you've been in comic circles for some time, chances are pretty good that you're familiar with "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex," the essay Larry Niven wrote in 1969 on the subject of Superman's potentially lethal sex life. If you haven't read it, then you might have gotten the jist of it from that scene in "Mallrats." 

It makes sense to me that such an essay, crass and silly though it is, would be written in 1969. That's the tail-end of the Silver Age, where Superman's power-creep had reached such levels that his hair was indestructible, he could break the time barrier under his own power, and he could juggle planets like helium balloons. 

So it was a little surprising to learn this week that Vladimir Nabokov wrote a poem with a similar sentiment way back in 1942. Nineteen forty-two! Six years before Kirk Alyn would bring the character to life, submitted in between the release of the seventh and eighth Fleischer cartoons, back when Superman wasn't consistently flying in the comics, the guy who would go on to write Lolita was speculating about the impossibility of relations between humans and Kryptonians. 

The letter he wrote when he submitted the poem to The New Yorker has big "uwu pwease pay me if it's not too much twouble" energy. 

I am sending you a poem on the troubles of Superman of the Funnies (with, if necessary, apologies to his, or rather its, makers). I should like to repeat that I experience most horrible difficulties and distress in wielding a language new to me – after 25 years of good old Russian. If, however, the poem is acceptable – not too ungrammatical as a whole and not too risqué about the middle of its favours – might I perhaps humble [sic] request a honorarium as adequate as possible to my Russian past and my present agonies?

The story of how Nabokov's poem, "The Man of To-Morrow's Lament," came to be rediscovered after all these years, and how it ties into his son's love of the character at the time, is a pretty interesting one, which you can read about at the link (if you have a subscription). But the poem itself, well...read on.

The Man of To-morrow’s Lament

I have to wear these glasses – otherwise, when I caress her with my super-eyes, her lungs and liver are too plainly seen throbbing, like deep-sea creatures, in between dim bones. Oh, I am sick of loitering here, a banished trunk (like my namesake in “Lear”), but when I switch to tights, still less I prize my splendid torso, my tremendous thighs, the dark-blue forelock on my narrow brow, the heavy jaw; for I shall tell you now my fatal limitation … not the pact between the worlds of Fantasy and Fact which makes me shun such an attractive spot as Berchtesgaden, say; and also not that little business of my draft; but worse: a tragic misadjustment and a curse.

I’m young and bursting with prodigious sap, and I’m in love like any healthy chap – and I must throttle my dynamic heart for marriage would be murder on my part, an earthquake, wrecking on the night of nights a woman’s life, some palmtrees, all the lights, the big hotel, a smaller one next door and half a dozen army trucks – or more.

But even if that blast of love should spare her fragile frame – what children would she bear? What monstrous babe, knocking the surgeon down, would waddle out into the awestruck town? When two years old he’d break the strongest chairs, fall through the floor and terrorize the stairs; at four, he’d dive into a well; at five, explore a roaring furnace – and survive; at eight, he’d ruin the longest railway line by playing trains with real ones; and at nine, release all my old enemies from jail, and then I’d try to break his head – and fail.

So this is why, no matter where I fly, red-cloaked, blue-hosed, across the yellow sky, I feel no thrill in chasing thugs and thieves – and gloomily broad-shouldered Kent retrieves his coat and trousers from the garbage can and tucks away the cloak of Superman; and when she sighs – somewhere in Central Park where my immense bronze statue looms – “Oh, Clark … Isn’t he wonderful!?!”, I stare ahead and long to be a normal guy instead.

Vladimir Nabokov June 1942

It's kind of wild just how much Superman discourse is presaged here, how many story and character beats we'd see play out over the next eighty years. 

It's been an increasingly long time since I did any kind of regular poetry analysis, as evidenced by the fact that I needed to Google "thing where a poet ends a line in the middle of a sentence" in order to talk about how much enjambment there is here. Honestly, I do like a good rhyming couplet, and I appreciate Nabokov's commitment to using them throughout here, even if it means overusing that technique. 

The references to the war in the first stanza are interesting; Andrei Babikov's commentary in The TLS suggests that this is an attempt to compare the character with Hitler, emphasizing the comment about the forelock (and drawing comparisons to Chaplin's "Great Dictator"), but Hitler's forelock—if you can really call it that—has very little in common with Superman's trademark s-curl, which doesn't merit mention in Babikov's discussion. To me, this reads more like an acknowledgement that Superman may be selling war bonds and punching Nazi ships and even hoisting Hitler up by the scruff of the neck, but he's a character from the realm of Fantasy, not Fact, and he's powerless to do anything about the real issue. Even in the comics, they might show Superman knocking around tanks on the front lines, but Superman's only encounter with Hitler himself notably came in the pages of Look Magazine two years . Superman's service in the war was limited to four-color fictional Nazis. 

But as much as I like the imagery of the dark-blue forelock, calling to mind the coloring of classic comics, I'm more than a little disquieted by "young and bursting with prodigious sap." The earth-shaking imagery in the rest of that second stanza got a laugh from me. I appreciate that it's less graphic than the Niven essay, "blast of love" aside. 

Stanza three predicts so many Superbaby stories, particularly from the Silver Age, but even "Letitia Lerner, Superman's Babysitter" has these same elements of an indestructible toddler causing mischief and mayhem. But also it speaks to Nabokov's own anxieties as a parent. 

The closing stanza, though, is where things get a little eerie. "No matter where I fly, / red-cloaked, blue-hosed, across the yellow sky, / I feel no thrill" might as well be "I can't stand to fly / I'm not that naïve." The desire to be normal, in part to have normal relationships, is a major character trait in "Superman II" and "Smallville." Honestly, almost every instance we've seen of Clark Kent being morose and brooding over the last eight decades is predicted right here in this unpublished poem. 

Overall, it's an interesting artifact. It shows that some ideas, some sorts of discourse around this character, are older than we might realize.

And, I suppose, so is erotic fanfiction. 

[therealsehinton]

i think one of the suckiest things about being an overall outspoken person on the internet is that i often get grouped in with other outspoken people, especially if we often share similar opinions. and it’s one thing for me to be called problematic for “constantly calling innocent people out,” i can handle people thinking that of me and it isn’t all that objectively wrong. but it’s an issue when people assume my morals, and i find it weird because i feel like i’ve made my morals pretty clear and yet people constantly misrepresent them

people like to assume i am a hypocrite i guess, because “i allow myself and my friends to ship this one ship with a 3 year age difference and not this other ship” or “i can have all the race hcs i want but when someone else does they’re stealing/they’re racist” or “i can write all the sensitive materials i’d like but when other people do they’re pedos”

and, again, i think it’s weird because i feel like i’ve made my stance on everything abundantly clear? i think people are misconstruing my words and opinions to give themselves an excuse to hate me. and like. you can hate me all you want, that’s your right, but don’t hate me for silly reasons you’ve made up in your head

do i think people are racist when they hc characters to be white? uh, no. it’s not my business, i don’t agree and therefore i won’t interact with them, but i don’t think they’re racist. it’s their hc and i have my own. i think people are racist when they tell me “i don’t understand the implications of my hcs” or “they’re not realistic” or try to educate me on my own history, especially when they’re white. but having your own hc? that’s okay i don’t care. yes i make jokes but i use tone indicators and oh well, boo hoo, i make a few jokes. laugh babes! they’re funny

and i don’t think people who are inspired by hcs steal from me, and i like ppl being inspired by my ideas and i love being inspired by other people, and i love having conversations like “your idea is amazing can i use it in a fic?” or “that’s great i’m stealing that.” but it’s very suspicious when you take a hc of mine and then block me, cuz if you block me after using one of my hcs it’s extremely suspicious and it makes me think you got something weird up your sleeve. and i think i have every right to assume that like??? you blocked me

i don’t hate dallyboy and i will be 100% honest, i was always majorly annoyed when people just randomly shat on it for no reason. it’s a ship. it can be aged up. and i really don’t give a fuck and i don’t like the self righteous behavior so many people have when it comes to their pairings. you can say whatever you want about me, but i never act self righteous when it comes to the people i pair together, at least not un-ironically. and if people think me criticizing the romanticization of tally is self righteousness, i think you need to get your head checked. in all my critiques of tally i said i enjoyed the pairing i just thought it was WEIRD that you have two guys who canonically beat each other up physically and then 13 year olds are writing about them impregnating each other, it’s weird. and it trivializes domestic abuse and i think that’s a okay to say

also i’ve never called someone a pedophile, or even implied it. i don’t think that sex is a terrible inhumane thing that should never be written. and i don’t think that writing victims of sexual assualt or csa should be illegal. i believe that trauma porn is a horrible, awful, exploitation of graphic material and should be abolished in all forms. and idc if its tagged, its disgusting that it exists. and i will always hate trauma porn and i will continue to criticize you if you write it. i don’t care if you have good intentions or if the situation is “supposed to be bad.” there’s no reason any person should graphically write scenes of people getting assaulted or hate crimed or hurting themselves. and no i am not talking about just one person, and i’m not even talking about this fandom, and i’m not even looking out for “the children.” this is a genuine issue that is normalized on tv, on film, in books and in fanfiction. and it sucks that victims of racism and assault and etc are constantly subjected to people who play with their tortured fantasies of graphically depicting their trauma. 

anyways, idk what else to say. only that i don’t feel comfortable being grouped with a bunch of white 13 yo justice warriors who think they’re saving the world by constantly picking fights with adults/other people for no reason. if i argue it’s cause i’ve been tagged or vague posted, and i literally get vague posted all the time so atp i’m not even fighting with people who vague post me. i’m not gonna go out of my way to cause a scene or drama because i don’t need to scream what my morals are 24/7 so people understand that i’m “woke.” i don’t need to prove my wokeness to anyone, i’m a black enby lesbian so if i weren’t woke that’d be pretty fucking stupid of me 

[actualgina]

SO I SOLD MY BOOK

SO.

SO!!!

[Text: Publishers Weekly’s Rights Report]

I went into sub(mission hell) with a glorious mix of high hopes and low expectations, which was the only practical way I could process things: want for everything, expect nothing. My agent Elana sent emails out to editors and I descended into literal hell by playing Hades (I’ve since gotten the true epilogue, by the way).

Then a week later I get an email from Elana mentioning “fun news”—two hours after she sent it because I am a west coast timezone straggler.

I leapt out of bed! Crashed into the bathroom to brush my teeth! Fumbled for my phone!

The fun news: A PREEMPT!! OFFER!!

There were more fun details in the call and subsequent calls and emails that flew around, and this all happened very fast. This book couldn't be in better hands from my agent to my now-editor Hannah and the team at Delacorte. Hannah and I have been not-subtly circling each other ever since she read my short story “Fools” in Foreshadow. It was truly to my utter relief that she adored my manuscript, too, and we were both so excited to finally yell at each other (“You were watching me?? I was watching you??”).

The thing that I could have never prepared for is, after the deal settled in, I felt the next years of my life hurtle at me. Everything is about to change. Everything is not hypothetical anymore. The thing I'd been working forever toward—it's here. Oh my god.

Counting from the beginning, Violet Made of Thorns (formerly known as Vile Vile Violet) took four years, but the latest incarnation of my manuscript really only took root in 2019, and I completed most of it during the first half. I queried in 2020 and heavily revised for three months after signing with Elana. I'm big on big revisions, I love doing them, and I expected to do this one because it was only after this last version that I really adored this book.

If you know VMOT's inspiration though, you know it started nearly ten years ago, when I started writing a snarky contemporary fanfic just for fun.

I had only barely begun writing continuously, and I was still in my I-don't-like-writing-I-just-wanna-tell-stories phase (I was That Self-Taught Artist who wanted to make a webcomic as a teen, should’ve seen the signs). I wrote fanfic in the loosest sense: 98% of my characters were original characters or the most minor of canon, they just existed in a fandom space. The only reason I figured out I wanted to tell original stories was because I had such a supportive audience; that love was born from reader interaction. Though I keep a professional divide from my fanfic, I’ve always been open about referencing it, because without it, I wouldn’t be writing at all and besides, we’re well past thinking fanfiction is a taboo or inferior medium (and my opinion is people who do think that have no imagination re: storytelling or can’t fathom that some stories simply aren’t written for them).

The fic that inspired VMOT—it became so much more than I ever thought it would. I wrote an indulgently prickly gossip girl OC who reigns with a scathing pen and pursues a questionable relationship with the resident golden boy—and readers loved her! Okay, a lot of readers also said they hated her but also said they couldn't help but be hooked.

And as the story progressed, the silly satire became a more personal story, and so many people said they never read any character like her and that they felt seen for the first time. I got essays, y’all, legit hundreds of essays in the comments that I loved responding to (which I can’t do as a pro author, forewarning, but I appreciate any future essay writers) because I knew exactly what they meant, because I was writing about stuff I always wanted to see myself. The way ambitious (anti)heroines were rendered across media often left me wanting, coming across as wish fulfillment by and for people who didn't actually understand these characters. In this story’s case, I wanted to see ambition dissected uncomfortably, cynicism that can't be solved, romance for someone who didn't totally get romantic love, and everything tied up with a startling frankness.

So I decided to write these characters all over again, but in a completely original setting.

Writing an original second-world fantasy is very, very different from writing contemporary fanfic. I had to fill so many gaps in my skill I never had to deal with before. These last four years were spent learning how to worldbuild and introduce characters that an audience wouldn't have an automatic buy-in for and structure a story that wasn't serially written. While I worked on it, past readers would pop up and tell me they couldn't wait for me to get published while I'd be like "hahaha we'll see," because I knew the realities of publishing, but truly, it was the sweetest thing.

I don't know how many of you have been lurking all this time, but I'm glad that optimism hasn't been for naught and I will actually have a novel to show you after the long wait. This story is very different from the one you know. It's a love story. Like, really, actually, this time. And it's fantasy. Like, fantasy fantasy. It’s still blithe and bantery until it slingshots to serious (less about celebrity journalism and more about uh, complicity in imperialism and environmental destruction), but the plot, the words, the everything is different. The most obvious echoes come from the characterizations and those personal themes I wanted to explore, but even so, Violet isn't totally like her previous incarnation—and I never wanted her to be.

And I'm a much better writer now. Violet Made of Thorns is the best thing I've written. I hope it doesn't stay that way, because I have a lot more stories to tell, and also Book 2 to finish :)

Things you can do right now ♥️

Add Violet Made of Thorns to your Goodreads

Follow me on Twitter and Instagram and here, on Tumblr

Sign up for my nascent newsletter, if you prefer getting your news condensed and intermittently

Yell to your friends about this, to their utter confusion

[chaotictommy]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT HAS FINALLY HAPPENED... I WAS NOMINATED BY @transjohnnylawrence .......... Omg 😱 😭🤧😂

okay, so I’ve prepared a speech... or — well...

I’d like to thank my mom, my — what am I saying?

Thank you @transjohnnylawrence Ferris you rock man 💖🌻💖

Okay, let’s do this....

It’s the year 2021 and you’re obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?:

Hell yeah! I love TKK, I’m feeling great about it, and I mean, I’ve met a lot of great people in the fandom and great friends <3 Cobra Kai is awesome too!

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?:

Lol, I guess I grew up with it? I saw TKK when I was six or seven years old and it’s a good memory because my dad was there from one of his excruciatingly long deployments and he had found it on television and he scooped me up and set me in his lap and we watched it together. Of course he fell asleep halfway through and the only reason he woke up was because I tried to do the flying kick that Bobby does to take out Danny’s knee, and I fell over and ended up busting my knee a little on the side of the coffee table, my dad woke up and ended up telling me off for hurting myself, but we sat down and watched the last minute, after he’d put a bandaid on my knee. My dad ended up getting it at the library a while later on VHS so I could see the beginning and ending because I had missed both, it’s kind of one of the best memories I have of my dad. After that, a lot of stuff happened in my life and I kinda forgot about it till I saw a trailer for Cobra Kai, and after that I rented the film from my local library, and watched it about five times... then on a different site I met @transjohnnylawrence and he asked me to a TKK watch party, which honestly was the best. ✨ I’ve met a lot of great people in this fandom and I am so happy that I found it again, because I’ve made some friends... <3 but I said that already :) ✨

We gotta do the basics. Favourite character:

TOMMY!!! lol... I don’t actually know... I love them all, but Bobby, Jimmy, Dutch, or Tommy for TKK, definitely Jessica is a top fave and I don’t mind Ali... my favorite character in Cobra Kai has to be either Robby or Amanda... or Moon or Demetri... but I really relate to Robby

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?:

I prefer neither. I guess I tend to go for the whole Mr. Miyagi speech about balance. That or ‘Get him a body bag, yeahhh,’ — Actually, I once changed the line just a little to use. I once flunked down into a chair at a cafeteria table, set my head down on the table, and stated ‘get me a body bag,’ and my friend looked at me and said ‘exams are going that bad huh?’ and I just nodded and proceeded to fall asleep on the table because I hadn’t had any sleep... also, I said ‘Get him a body bag’ once when my sister jokingly told me to sike our dad out when we were playing pool in teams... and I took it literally and my dad just looked very surprised and started laughing.... but yeah... what was the question? if i had to choose, it would be Sweep the Leg ... Or Wax on, Wax off, depending on my mood Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favourite?:

The silly little flannel with the camo pants... since I have worn something very similar and been teased for it... 😅😂 there’s so many that I liked though... I really dislike that he wears only suits now and they’re the stuffy kind...

Favourite ship:

Johnny/Jimmy, Dimmy (Dutch/Jimmy), I blame two fanfic writers for this one, but — Johnny/Bobby/Dutch... Also, Dutch/Tommy, Dutch/Jimmy/Tommy, Kumiko/Jessica/Ali, Bonny, Lucille/Miyagi and Johnny/Bobby/Tommy/Jimmy/Dutch, And Tommy/Ali... for CK, I’m big into Sam/Demetri, Robby/Moon, and Hawk and Demetri but as Binary Brothers ............. there’s too many

Underrated character:

JeSsIcA — yeah, definitely Jessica! And Tommy! And Jimmy! Dutch! And totally Bobby... but Jessica is definitely number One ☝️ in my underrated characters list...

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):

i like Jimmy/Dutch or Tommy/Ali but Kumiko/Jessica/Ali are top on my list... that and Bobby/Freddy (They’d look pretty cute together, I dunno 🤷🏼‍♀️) that and Thera— Tommy/Johnny ... for CK it’s definitely Sam/Aisha or Amanda/Johnny lol... joking with that one... Robby/Moon

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:

screw Terry Silver! NO SERIOUSLY SCREW HIM AND KREESE... I want to see Jessica and Dutch!!! and more of the Og Cobras 🐍 😩♥️ Maybe even Julie... but definitely Jessica and Dutch (Lol I feel strongly about this)

Scene that lives in your head rent-free:

the goodbye scene with Tommy in Take a Right... it just sticks with me even though it’s a sad scene... but just hearing them talk by the campfire and seeing Tommy giving Johnny advice and helping him... and also, just... yeah, that just 🥺... got stuck in my head... that or the scene with Robby where he finds his childhood artwork at his dad’s apartment, I get emotionally drawn in thinking about my own childhood, for TKK it was the scene where Bobby is disqualified and throws his belt down in front of Kreese and walks out... and seeing Johnny’s face in the background as Bobby took Daniel out, it just is another sad scene. Or the Halloween fight where Bobby tells Johnny to leave Daniel alone... also, the beach scene with Johnny and Bobby being real pals on their bikes, and Dutch’s yellow helmet rolling across the ground... the soccer tryouts... I love soccer. The learning how to take a fall part because I’ve had that happen (but the kid wasn’t on a motorbike, just a regular bike, and it wasn’t a steep hill, but I had another kid knock me off my bike like that :/ )

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?:

oh man, you know it, that kid is gonna be like the master of Karate or something... that kid’s got mad skills... ha! I dunno 🤷🏼‍♀️ he’s there as a foil or something... anyways, he absolutely annoys the heck out of me because he reminds me of a kid I babysat once... but yeah, they’ll probably make him more relevant...

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join?:

Oh dang, yeah... ummmm, well... I think Bobby, Jimmy, and Tommy would be my friends... but I think I’d choose Miyagi Do in TKK and help Daniel, while also trying to talk some sense into my friends... in CK, I think I’d pick Miyagi Fang, but before that, I probably would have chosen Cobra Kai when Johnny was Sensei and probably would have jumped ship when Kreese came in. Or, option 3. Fake my death, change my name, and run... (bonus... if Johnny told me to flip the script, I’d give myself a badass name like Hornet, because you don’t really feel the sting till a few minutes later... but it’s bad... or I’d just join Miyagi Do)

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?:

Pfffffft, OTHERWORLD so that it would be like Jimmy got sucked into an alternate dimension and he’s lost with his family... no I’m not currently thinking of writing a Fanfiction about this... or am I? Hmmmmm...

💫 I Nominate @dxrkvibes23

@kingkarate @cobrasandalleycats @strikelikeacobrakai @legolugosi @transdaniellarusso @dream-beyond-the-fantasy @cobrakaikaratedad @johnnywhorance @johnnyavanti (Sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged or have already done this...) 💫

[missaudreyhorney]

Imagine seeing David Harbour at a frozen yogurt shop

I was scrolling through Instagram this morning and saw this picture. The thing that struck me most about it was this quality of him looking like a regular handsome guy that you could ostensibly run into anywhere. That quality of his is a lot of what appeals to me about him, the idea that he’s just a “sexy normal dude” as Milla Jovovich put it. 

Quickly I started to imagine a scenario in which shy!Reader happens to run into him and how I think that would play out. It was really helpful to use this picture as a prompt for my writing since Ive been feeling stuck with my other projects over the past couple of days. I know real person fiction is often frowned upon but this is more of a silly writing exercise than anything else. Please enjoy! (T for language, multiple uses of “Daddy”, 1.6k words)

It has been a long, stressful week for you and it’s looking like next week won’t be any different. All you want on this Sunday afternoon is some frozen yogurt. Nothing else. You don’t even ask any of your friends to go with you, you just get in your car and drive to the nearest place that comes up on GPS.

The first thing you see upon walking into the place is a cute dad standing at the counter, paying for his order. He’s wearing a dark purple t-shirt, black jeans, and a pair of sunglasses on top of his head. He’s actually more than cute, he’s really hot. You can’t help but stare at his muscular forearms and huge hands as you get in line. The top of his yogurt cup is covered in whipped cream and he has a tiny dollop of it on his left hand. Your mind goes straight into the gutter at the sight of it.

When he moves to sit down at one of the tables, you realize that there are no kids with him, just two other adults. He’s not actually a dad, at least not from what you can tell. He just looks like a dad and gives off that authoritative energy that only sexy older men possess. You didn’t see a wedding ring when you were staring at his hands so hopefully he’s single. Hopefully, as if you’d ever have the nerve to approach this man and ask him out on a date.

When it’s your turn to order, you get strawberry shortcake, a safe choice since you’ve never been here before. As the cashier tells you your total, you hear the man’s booming voice behind you. He’s not trying to be loud, he’s just a big guy who speaks with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. The voice almost sounds familiar to you. Almost like someone you know but you don’t know anyone this handsome in real life. Digging out a couple of coins from your wallet, it dawns on you where you’ve heard his voice before.

Stranger Things. On Netflix. That’s not just any random hot guy that you were staring at, that’s David fucking Harbour! Your entire body freezes in place and your mind goes blank. The one solitary thought in your head is the sound of his voice. His deep, sexy voice. One that has the power both to soothe and to provoke. You close your eyes and listen to him, almost getting lost in a trance. The cashier repeats your total back to you and your eyes shoot open again. “Oh, I’m sorry,” you say as you hand them your money then turn around to find somewhere to sit.

Your eyes dart around the room, looking for empty tables. There’s plenty available but only one that’s close enough to him without being too obvious. From this vantage point, you should be able to look at him without him noticing too much that you’re fully staring. Taking a deep breath, you set your cup down on the table, pull the chair out, and sit down. Finally, you look at him again, trying to extinguish that lingering doubt that it’s really him and your thirsty brain isn’t just playing tricks on you. His blue eyes, his beard, his dimples, and the teensy little mole on the back of his right hand all confirm your suspicion. It is him! There’s absolutely no denying it now.

No wonder you felt so short when you walked past him, the man is 6’3” for christsake. You know that from Googling him before, as you’ve done so multiple times. It’s been a while since you’ve watched Strangers Things, but every time you do, you catch yourself having a crush on Chief Jim Hopper. How could you not? He is the epitome of a Hot Dad, a total DILF. You've even fantasized about calling him Daddy before, and here he is, in the flesh, eating frozen yogurt and drinking his coffee just a few feet away from you. The idea of asking him out seems infinitely more impossible now than it did when you thought he was just an average, albeit gorgeous guy.

It isn’t until now that you regret not inviting anyone to come here with you because you already know that none of your friends are going to believe it when you tell them that you saw David Harbour in person. They’re going to say that it was just wishful thinking and probably tease you about liking him so much, about all the Hopper fanfiction you’ve read. Oh gosh, the fanfiction. The thoughts you’ve had about the character that this man plays are absolutely filthy. If you’re being completely honest with yourself, those thoughts were never restricted solely to his character. You’ve had just as many, if not more, wild fantasies about the man himself. You blush at all the times you’ve said that you wouldn’t be able to control yourself if you ever met him.

This isn’t technically meeting him though. This is accidentally running into him somewhere and wrestling with yourself about what to do next. The way he talks and the way he smiles seems so warm and friendly. Surely he wouldn’t mind you coming over to his table for a brief moment just to say hi, maybe get an autograph, maybe a hug if you’re feeling extra bold. He probably wouldn’t mind, you’re not sure if you’d be able to deal with it. What if you go to speak to him and no words come out? What if he does hug you and as you feel his strong arms wrapped around you, you get lost in the moment and accidentally call him Daddy? That would be absolutely humiliating and you'd never be able to forget it.

For now, you just watch him, almost like it’s a scene from the show. Both of you eat your frozen yogurt, but you’re so enraptured by him that you’re not really paying attention to the taste or the temperature. All your attention is on him, the way he opens his mouth slightly, sticking his tongue out a bit to meet the spoon as it touches his lips. Oh, how you wish you were that spoon, that he might touch you with his tongue. After what feels like either a second or an hour, but is probably only ten minutes, he gazes to the side and his eyes meet yours. You let out a soft gasp and immediately look down at your table, the beauty and intensity of his dark blue eyes just too much for you to handle. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment at the prospect of him catching you staring at him. When you look back up, your hands trembling just a little bit, he’s no longer looking at you, but he has the most amazing smile on his face.

Aside from the spoon, you feel an additional inkling of jealousy towards the people he’s with. They all seem to be close friends, based on how they’re interacting with each other. He’s so engaging in the way that he speaks with them, the way that he listens so intently. Multiple times, he has both of them laughing. Sometimes it’s more of an inside joke that you don’t understand, and sometimes it's something that makes you want to laugh as well, although you hold back since you’re not supposed to be eavesdropping. Even if you didn’t want to listen to his conversation, it would be hard not to. He has such a big presence, it practically fills up the entire room. If your eyes were able to unglue from him and look around, you’re certain that you wouldn’t be the only one that’s preoccupied with him.

After glancing down at your cup to check how much frozen yogurt is left, your eyes go back to him and see that he and the people he came with are getting up to leave. There’s a weight in your chest at the thought of him going without you having exchanged a single word. Not only that, but you won’t even be able to look at him anymore. Once they’re all standing, a woman comes up to him and asks for a picture. He could not possibly be any more kind and gracious to her. He gives such a cute little smirk as he poses for the picture and chats with her a bit before she sits back down. It’s one of the most adorable things you’ve ever seen.

Now is your chance! Now you have to say something to him! You already know he’s going to be sweet to you if you approach him but it’s not his reaction that you’re worried about, it’s yours. If you talk to him and accidentally say something stupid, he’s not going to mind at all but you will. You’ll think about it every single day. As he walks from his table to the front door, he profusely thanks the people working behind the counter and you feel like your heart is going to burst because of how nice he is. He nears the exit and it’s literally now or never as you have absolutely no idea when you might ever see him again.

There’s so much you want to say, so much you need to say. All these pining, appreciative thoughts race through your head, wanting to jump out of your mouth. Each of them are quieted when he looks at you. Not in your general vicinity, but directly at you. He gives you another amazing smile that makes you completely melt inside. “Bye,” he says to you casually. “Bye,” you respond wistfully, a swarm of butterflies in your stomach. The smile stays on his face as he leaves and puts his sunglasses back on. Your heart is beating a mile a minute while you watch him walk away. You will think about this every single day, not because you made a fool of yourself but because David Harbour noticed you.

[goddamnelsa]

Liz’s Top Books of 2020

blatantly stolen from @alamorn but also i wanted to feel accomplished that i did in fact read published books this year before descending entirely into mdzs/the untamed fanfiction :) :) :) :)

In two parts! Books I read that actually came out in 2020, and then honorable mentions of books I read in 2020 that were published in previous years. Enjoy!

Top Books Published in 2020 (which are not in any kind of order because I can’t like rank stuff, I’m not that kind of person)

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin

What can I say except it’s N.K. Jemisin who wrote my favorite high fantasy series (The Inheritance Trilogy), won three consecutive Hugo Awards for her The Broken Earth trilogy, and she’s writing urban fantasy with Lovecraftian and superhero team flavor. I mean....obviously I was at the top of the wait list for this once my library ordered it. And it lived up to the hype!! Because of course!! It’s fabulously fast-paced with amazingly smart and interesting characters of diverse backgrounds. I kept thinking one of them was my favorite, and then another would have a great line and I would change my mind. It’s fine, they’re all technically one entity with several parts, so I can love them all and not choose (but it’s probably Bronca, let’s be real). And it’s the first of a series! And I’m counting down the days til there is more!

Axiom’s End by Lindsay Ellis

I definitely picked this up simply because Lindsay Ellis, one of my favorite video essayists, wrote it, and then ended up loving everything about it. I’m not usually one for First Contact stories, but I appreciate the very human-focused approach here, sticking solely to an ordinary girl’s perspective as she navigates being the person first in contact with a very alien alien. Cora’s attempts to humanize Ampersand are relatable, but I appreciate Ellis reminding us at almost every turn that Ampersand is super Not Human, no matter how much Cora reads into his actions. Ellis doesn’t gloss over the Science part either, especially when it comes to the race of aliens Ampersand belongs to. Again, the first of a series, and you will absolutely be screaming for the next book when this one is over.

You Had Me At Hola by Alexis Daria

Insert my obligatory “I don’t usually read romances blah blah blah.” Though, during lockdown, I attempted to branch out beyond my usual genres when I was attending a ton of publisher webinars about upcoming books. This one stood out to me because of its Latinx cast and the whole behind-the-scenes of a Jane The Virgin-esque show, based on a telenovela (of course). It is fantastic, a quick read with instantly likable and fun characters. And the tropes! We’re playing love interests but we have insane chemistry! A sensitive, traumatized male lead who learns to open up again! A sassy but insecure female lead who learns to let loose and love again! Hooking up, but we have to keep on the DL or else scandal! And of course, the extended families add to every scene they are in--I loved every interaction Ashton and Jasmine had with their families, it was the cherry on top of a fantastic read. Also the sex scenes are steamy. 

Beetle and the Hollowbones by Aliza Layne

I got this graphic novel as an advanced reader copy well before it came out, and after reading it, I was sCREAMING because I couldn’t tell all my graphic novel, queer coming-of-age-with-magic loving friends to immediately pick up a copy!! So thankfully, it’s out now, so I can scream to the heavens to please read this!!! It is such a sweet story with beautiful full-color art and fantastic world-building. It has the same silly, referential humor you see in a lot of kids/YA graphic novels these days, but Beetle packs in a lot of heart as well. 

Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi

Like many people in May/June of this year, I was reading, reading, reading a lot of books about racism from as many Black authors as I could get my hands on. There were many not published this year that should definitely be read (So You Want To Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo being among the top), but this book really stuck with me because it is written specifically for a younger audience, and Jason Reynolds knows how to talk to kids about tough subjects. Stamped gets across difficult concepts like assimilationists and segregationists in an easy-to-understand, conversational style that doesn’t take away from any of the important history and nuance. This certainly is not The Book of antiracism studies, but it is a good starting point if you are daunted by lengthy title lists and aren’t sure where to begin. I highly recommend the audiobook as well, read by Reynolds himself.

(Side note: I watched this keynote address with Reynolds and Kendi which is an excellent primer into the background of how this book came to be. Reynolds is also just very interesting to listen to)

Honorable Mentions aka Books I read in 2020 that were published in previous years again, not ranked because I CAN’T, OKAY

White Is For Witching by Helen Oyeyemi

I read this book and then wanted to go back and read it immediately again, not necessarily because it was so amazing, but because I felt like I would get it even more if I did. This is a haunting little book that took turns I was not expecting, even with the book synopsis I read. It is disturbing and features descriptions of an eating disorder, so proceed with caution. However, if you like Gothic tales of haunted houses and the trauma inflicted on us by those who came before, I can’t recommend this one enough.

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

My last book club read before the pandemic D: We didn’t actually get to meet to discuss this book, but my club (all librarians) were working at our emergency call center at the same time and all reading it, so we KINDA got to discuss it, if not in a formal book club setting. ANYWAY, it’s a thrilling jaunt through 1920s Mexico, following a fantastic Cinderella-esque heroine who makes a deal with a Mayan god to retrieve his body. If you are a fan of the Percy Jackson-brand of mythological adventures, this is definitely one to add to your list, especially if you are looking for something a little bit more Adult.

Scary Stories for Young Foxes by Christian McKay Heidicker

Okay, I know it’s a young readers/middle grade book, but HEAR ME OUT. This is whimsical and haunting tale about seven little fox kits who set out to scare themselves shitless by hearing scary tales. Only one kit will remain when the night is over, but the one who does will get to hear a surprisingly sweet, and well-earned, happy ending. If you are a Neil Gaiman-esque horror fan, I recommend picking this up. Its scares are fairly scary, especially for its audience, but it’s an engaging story about the lengths we will go for the ones we love.

Trail of Lightning by Rebecca Roanhorse

Did someone say Navajo monster-hunting heroine with magic powers navigating a post-apocalyptic world, oh and also saving it??? Look, Maggie is My Kind of Hero, in that she’s damaged, she drinks too much, she’s surly, but she has a seriously gooey heart of gold underneath all that armor. Navajo mythology is woven into this tale of monster-hunting, surviving. If you’re in Supernatural-disappointment-land, maybe give this a try! It has that Western-y, road trip feel to it, and again, I love the lead character. (It also has a currently published sequel and a soon-to-be-released third book as well!)

This is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

This was rec’ed to me by a librarian friend, with the words, “Oh, Liz, you’ll really like this.” And she was RIGHT. Red and Blue are on opposite sides of a war waged across time and decide to send letters to each other, at first, to taunt, but then, to understand, to learn, and to love. The details of the war don’t matter much, but what does matter is the achingly beautiful poetry with which Red and Blue reveal themselves to each other. I was told to listen to this one, but I’m glad I read it myself instead. The prose is very purple at times, and I appreciated being able to go back to passages to reread again and again. Oh, and it’s queer (Red and Blue are both female), and SPOILERS SPOILERS has a happy ending. 

(also there is a wangxian remix for my mdzs buds. and also a semi-officially sanctioned fanfic sequel???? at least amal el-mohtar linked it from goodreads so whoo! also also it’s very funny)

And that’s my Year in Books 2020! Seeing it laid out like this, I had a surprisingly good year for book reading even though I felt like I barely read anything. For awhile, reading was Hard, and I just wanted to consume fluffy, sweet fanfiction, but I’m getting back into it. Oh, and please let me know if you check any of these out!

Here’s to a good year for books in 2021! ✨