#[I don't know why I try with my dad sometimes]

[dignitywhatdignity]

I'm a stay at home mom, and by necessary extension, a housewife.

I look like a fool in a flowy white sundress. I live in jeans and graphic t-shirts.

We don't have a backyard, much less a field of native wildflowers (I do try to grow native wildflowers in my shoebox-sized front garden).

I'm lucky, and also unlucky. My husband makes good enough money to support me not working; if I worked full time, I'd barely be covering daycare. I'm well aware how vulnerable that makes me.

I struggled, as a kid. I couldn't be a tomboy, because tomboy liked (and were good at) sports. I was a benchwarmer in softball. I lost every tennis match. I kept aging out of recreational and instructional leagues, and my parents and I agreed it was a waste of time and money for me to join competitive leagues, since I'd just be sitting there doing nothing. Even dance class, when it was obvious I was never going to compete, I was largely blown off by the instructors, who had future champions more worthy of the attention.

I wore a skirt every day -- school uniforms -- but i couldn't keep my knee socks up. I couldn't keep myself neat (typical adhd girl, I excelled in school as long as I could bite my nails or twirl my hair. So my nails and hair looked like shit).

I was among the top three in the class, with two boys. The boys hated me because I outperformed them. The girls... I think just didn't know what to do with me. I was probably annoying. I wasn't feminine enough. No doubt I was a bit of a know it all (but if you read books, you'd know it too! Why doesn't anyone else like books?!) .

It was a joke, an insult, to be romantically linked to me. "You like [dwd]!!!" What's wrong with you. "[Dwd] likes you!!!!" You poor asshole, stuck with her attention. One or two guys may have liked me and showed it in that toxic, abusive way boys were encouraged to in the 1990s. Or maybe they were just hateful, bullying shits. The two aren't mutually exclusive. In any event, I was clearly too ugly, too annoying, too smart for anyone to like.

And I wasn't about to change myself to get them to like me. I wouldn't have known how even if i wanted to.

So if someone said I looked good, they were clearly making fun of me. (Usually they were. Maybe sometimes they weren't. I still have a hard time telling the difference. Sometimes Husband calls me his "beauty queen of 18" and I'm like, "yes, I'm old and ugly, you don't need to tease me.")

In high school, I'd be in groups where I was the only girl among boys. If they didn't like you, they'd hit you or ignore you.

I'd be in groups where there were no guys, or only one guy. If they didn't like you, they'd swear you were their best friend and then, when your back was turned, declare you a bitch and a slut.

Never dated a guy from my own school. Anyone I did date was easily more awkward than i was. And I didn't have a serious boyfriend until shortly before graduation.

So in college I was definitely "not like other girls". The sororities didn't want me. I didn't wear uggs and booty shorts to class; neither did I join the rugby team and show up wearing sweatpants and bruises. My circle of friends was mostly guys; even after I wised up, my wedding party was, too.

I don't want a fucking homestead. I'm barely treading water keeping my house clean as it is. Bread from scratch and homemade jam? I cook three days a week; enjoy your leftovers and sandwiches.

I still don't have as many friends as I'd like, and none of us relate to each other. B is a divorced mom with a high-powered job who is a devoted mom when she has custody and wild when her kid is with dad. A is a single mom by choice with a high-powered job, generational wealth, and a ton of family support. K1 and her husband moved to another city; their jobs are there to subsidized their hobbies: hiking, gourmet cooking, crafts. K2 and her husband...might be homesteading; they bought a big piece of land for babies and dogs to run free on. D and her husband are definitely homesteading, but she's the breadwinner and he's the homemaker; if you dared him, I am *sure* he'd run around in their field of wildflowers wearing a white sundress.

All this to say:

I'm a housewife.

I'm a cis woman.

I have never in my life done femininity "right" and I am too old and too tired to start now.

the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.

when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."

but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.

now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.

the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.

but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."

the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.

but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?

because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!

and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

~About a Decade ago~

Jaune: Hey Dad?

Papa Arc: *Watching Sports* Yeah Kid?

Jaune: ... Do You love me?

Papa Arc: ... *Mutes TV* I- Yeah? Why? Did you think I didn't?

Jaune: ... *shamefully glances away*

Papa Arc: *Getting Up from his chair* Oh- Oh Kiddo- Jaune, I'm sorry I made you feel like that-

Jaune: It- It's fine ...

Papa Arc: *Angrily* No it Ain't.

Jaune: *Shrinks away*

Papa Arc: *Grabbing Jaune and making Jaune face him* Jaune if I have ever, ever Made you feel like I didn't love you with every last piece of my heart, I'm sorry. You are an incredible, kind little kid, and I- I'm Lucky to know, let alone be yer dad. I am so, so, so Fuckin' lucky to have you as my kid-

Papa Arc: An' Look here, Yeah, Sometimes you don't quite get what I say, a lot of folks Don't! I talk weird, and I know that! Yeah, Sometimes you make a mistake an' I get annoyed or upset, but I have never Fuckin' Ever Regretted havin' yah!

Papa Arc: I love you more than Life itself, and there's not a damn thing on this planet that would keep me from trying to protect you.

Papa Arc: You're an Arc. All you gotta do to live up to that Name is keep yer family safe - And that includes yerself - and do whatever you can to get home - where ever that may be, 'Kay Kid?

Papa Arc: Now I'm gonna need you to tell every time I did something to make you feel like you were Nothin' so I never do it again.

~At that same moment in the Ever After~

Jaune: ...

Jaune: *Staring at his shattered sword and rusting shield*...

Jaune: ... sorry Dad ...

[uncanny-tranny]

If somebody in your life offers to knit or crochet or, really, create anything for you, please be an active participant in the creation of the piece they are making. I adore making and gifting things, but nothing bums me out quicker than a person who passively just goes "okay," to my ideas about what I'm making them - it can send the message that they won't like it, or that they don't care, even if they're happy about my offering. The back-and-forth feedback is a great way to make sure that you are being gifted something that was truly worth the time, effort, expertise, and money that will inevitably go into the gift!

I know it's really hard to be an active participant, believe me, I'm an anxious ball of horror, but it will only do good for both parties to interact in this situation. It is a big deal to be offered a hand-crafted gift, but it's also something we want you to love and use, and that can only happen if you tell us what would make you fall in love with what we create.

[horsefreek151]

My father is a 6ft 3inch tall viking of a man. This man has to wear bow tyes at work (hes a computer teacher). He will get down on his knees to meet and greet with little kids. My parents owned two large Bernese mountain Dogs that were raised as therapy dogs to work with them at school to help kids feel more comfortable.

He hates little dogs. Hates them. Calls them yappy little rats, never liked that I wanted a toy poodle growing up. Always prefers big dogs and would avoid the small ones. He also "Didnt Like" My pet rats growing up. He never really got why I loved having pets so much.

I am disabled and suffer from pritty bad CPTSD, the kind with night terrors and flashbacks and sometimes not knowing where I am or whats really happening around me. We got my service dog to first treat that but she also started alerting to my POTS and is how I got diagnosed with it. Before her I raised and breed rats as ESA to help treat the ptsd. I still breed rats. Back in collage I would catch him with the rats in the bonding bag cooking dinner. This man try's to hid it but he LOVES animals of all shapes and sizes.

In 2023 my husband and I got married at his parents cabin. We brought our pets with us on our honeymoon at the same place so they were at the ceremony. Our Male 13lb Kitten, A beloved Elder rat of mine and my Service dog Universal Healthcare (uni) who is a 6lb toy poodle. Uni was on duty at the ceremony as I really struggle with being the center of attention. Cue me seeing my dad holding my cat while eating a bagel complaining about how much the cat likes him.

The reception was at our local game store and Uni got to be on light duty during it and socialized. I didn't see her for about half an hour. Cue me walking over and seeing her fast asleep in my dads arms like a little baby him cooing over her and saying "I like my granddaughter much more than my grandson" happily eating some cake. This dog could sleep in his shoe and he is just doting on her. "Not like a little rat now is she" I said and he smiled and responded "No no much better than the rat tho I don't mind the rat that much"

Sometimes big guys just need to get over the toxic masculinity and love on a tiny pet.

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

[slime-crafters]

Out of all the people to hate in Pelican Town (cough pierre cough), hating Demetrius seems like a wild choice

[possumsinpeoplesuits]

Isolation got to me last night and I was starting to have a breakdown, so I went to message someone instead of just suffering alone like I usually so and it went like fuckin'...

Them: How've you been doing at home?

Me, in bed actively crying hysterically: Doing okay! =) How about you?

And it was the perfect illustration of a very specific issue in my brain I'm still working on.

Jesus fuck.

[nobodysdaydreams]

Giving a complicated tragic childhood backstory to your favorite character is all fun and games, until you realize you need to account for how old all the other adult characters would have been at the time and realize that scenes that would work perfectly if one character was twenty three and the other was fourteen stop working when you need other characters who are played by adult actors clearly younger than they are to be in college at the same time so your story beats line up thematically.

[lilacerull0]

i feel like reading/watching mbf immediately means knowing who i am as a person and... i cannot allow this

[moonchild-in-blue]

Oh.

[keeps-ache]

buttered noodles 💫💛🍜

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[bearsinpotatosacks]

Update on my Whumptober thoughts: Not all the prompts will be posted, I have all 31 planned out but I found out that you don't have to post all 31. If a fic is finished, I'll post it but there's some big beasts that I want to write properly instead of rush. Also, I might not even write all 31. I want the completionist title but I don't have the time nor energy to force myself to write all the prompts and I did it last year and it wasn't like life-changing. I like Whumptober because the prompts help my creativity, spark some inspiration (talking about my Delancey Brothers Fic) but the perfectionist in me just beats myself up about not getting enough fics done before October or not writing enough each day to get them finished and then writing fics that all sound the same or the ideas being kind of shitty because I'm forcing them. I want to do my ideas justice rather than mass produce shit I don't like because I feel I need to, it's a constant line I walk between "I want to write something well and that I'm proud of so might be inactive for a while on AO3" and "I want to get this idea out there so need to post a bunch of stuff now"

[girlivealwaysbean]

hey god if you've created someone for me can you introduce me to them sooner? i kinda need them now

[skrunksthatwunk]

household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight

[softshuji]

You ever just randomly get hit with a traumatic memory and you're like wtf (pls don't read this if you're sensitive and stuff this is kinda...heavy???)

I was thinking about a few years ago when I went to drop my brother off to school, I was super sleep deprived cos of uni and it was very early and I walked into the road without looking, about half a second from being hit with a car before they slammed the breaks. And I was so so tired it took me a second to realize what had happened and I looked up and the person at the wheel was My dad..and it dawned on me in that second that had he not been a good driver, and had I been a second too late or even early, he'd have hit me with the car. And the worst tbing was, for some reason I wasn't thinking about how i would have died, I was thinking of how he could have killed me and it would have destroyed him to such an extent that it would have killed everyone else too. I would have ruined my family and it would have been my fault despite not being here to see it happen. And I felt sick and full of dread despite being fine in the end.

Sometimes I think of how my dad has nearly killed me on more than one occasion, and even though things are very much calmer now, and we have a semi decent relationship that isn't as bad as it was back then, I would have changed the trajectory of EVERYONE'S life had I not experienced some miracle. I wouldn't even be here, I wouldn't have ever even seen my sister (or watched her grow up along with my brothers)

And the thing is I don't blame him either, that was actually my fault. It was early and I should have been looking. Sometimes it really Dawn's on me that I must have been saved in some way, even if I don't think of how that often.

[storiedhistories]

Am I still pretty much on hiatus? Yup. But right now, I need to write something to get the feelings out, SO.

Like this post for a positive paternal starter from one of the many dads I have! That would be: Adama, The Doctor, Goliath, Macbeth, Tom Dupain, Hades, Hank, Kratos, Thor, or Joel.