#[[posting this again now that more than 2 people are online haha

[whirling-fangs]

[[ Kimetsu gakuen back at it with the iconic Inosuke lines ]]

[innitmarvellous]

Part 2 of my ace contemplations - Part 1 can be found here - or more like: more whining, haha. Sorry.

First off something more general: I'm happy about the responses I got on the original post, but I think it's a bit sad that there isn't a hashtag or something for people who want and need the support of the aspec community here on Tumblr (without having to join a special forum or sth). Because it seems that while the community is quite active, it's mostly for sharing memes and snappy textposts and stuff, and less about more helpful things and discussions. I'm not saying the memes etc are wrong and shouldn't be a part of it too, but idk, I just wish there would be more of an actual community bond, if that makes sense? To help the people who aren't yet at the stage where they can view their identity as something great, people who are still struggling and are reliant on online communities for that kind of help.

Because for all the talk about the very active Tumblr aspec community...I personally haven't seen and benefitted much of it, apart from the memes etc. And I hope I'm not the only person who don't just want to agree with meme posts and would wish for more. Or am I just unfortunate? Looking in the wrong places? (In short, where are the nice supportive ace people of Tumblr? I'm desperate here...well, kind of.)

---

Something related to the books I mentioned in the original post:

these books are all written from such an US-centric, university-educated and creative business viewpoint. And that's just not my world at all, as an mostly unemployed European with crappy education.

Like, one time it was mentioned that aces always look out for each other and how great that is. And yeah, sure. It is. It would be great, but what about the people who aren't part of that lucky network or community? People who possibly haven't met another aspec person in real life? They are missing that kind of support, and maybe it would be the one thing that would make everything easier.

---

Another thing: I found the probably supposed to be inspirational stories from other aces in the books rather disheartening. Yeah, fine, so person XY found their perfect partner by luck, despite whatever made them think it would never work out, yadda yadda. Good for them, but that's not gonna happen to me, right? I'm not gonna strike that jackpot and will find someone who accepts me as I am. Maybe I'm just a really, really spiteful person, but stories like that don't inspire me or show me what's possible for me personally in any way.

---

Well, yeah, I never encountered that. Like, truly never. That's one thing where I'm very ace: I don't get what's supposed to be sexy about a (mostly) naked body. I understand a appeal of a open top button and bit of chest being visible or something like that (lol that sounded so stupid), but the body being in full view? Nah man, put on your shirt again before you catch a cold, lol. (And it's not just guys actually, but people of all genders, if I'm honest.) I should probably add that I absolutely don't mind seeing anything like that, it just doesn't do anything for me.

---

I guess my takeaway from all the reading I did isn't like for other people who don't feel wrong or broken anymore when they find out there are other aces out there. Even after knowing a lot about it I still feel like some crucial part of me is missing, and I could be more than what I am if that were possible. But then again, there isn't really a possibility for change, so I need to do my best to accept this. I just wish I had it easy one single time...why is basically everything about me so hard to accept? lol

Idk, but if I ever manage to convince myself that inevitably dying alone one day (and spending the time until then alone too) is a good thing, then I'm sure I'll be able to do anything. Now I only need to figure out how to convince myself and that's where it gets difficult, lol.

Being both aspec and too dumb/awkward to make friends is such a curse tbh 😓 And I can't even become a crazy cat lady because I'm bad with animals too, ugh...

---

In connection with the previous bit, I'm kinda envious of that way of thinking. Would make things much easier, I assume. And it's great if it worked for her, but I on the contrary would find it quite painful if I look back at my in a sense similar life.

---

And to counter all the hopelessness a little bit - we're supposed to do that kind of thing, I guess - I tried my best to come up with some positive points, although I take them with a grain of salt myself.

- Well, it does give me an explanation for whatever is going on with me. (Although I only need that explanation for myself, since I seem to give off so much sad loser energy that no one ever bothered to ask me whether I want a boyfriend or kids. They just look at me and think "nah, that's obviously impossible for her". Which is oddly funny yet a little bit hurtful... ^^')

- I'm kind of glad that I never actually have to hug people or cuddle with them since I hate physical contact so much, lol. Doesn't matter if it's platonic or not. Remember when everyone missed being hugged during the pandemic? Couldn't be me :D

- I guess someone who is a rather bad person with way too many negative traits like me shouldn't be on the dating market anyway, so it's a plus that I'm no relationship material. Although that's more of a plus for others, not so much for me, lol. But it is a plus in the sense that everyone I would fall in love with would be unattainable for me anyway, so it's good not to be tempted in the first place.

- Idk, that's about it, I think? Maybe I forgot something, but I believe that's the gist of it. Kind of sad, but I tried, haha.

[melodygatesauthor]

Weekly Update - 07/09/2023

There's a LOT to cover this week but it's all REALLY important so please read <3 (below the cut) ~

Announcements

~ Cruise ~

I'm going on a cruise from 07/15/2023-07/23/2023! I really shouldn't have, but my family peer pressured me into it and now I can't get my money back if I back out so I'm going anyway lol.

I paid extra to have WiFi in my cabin, however I don't know how good it will be. I refuse to pay the ridiculous amount of money to use the data on my phone out there. That being said, my online time will be limited.

If for any reason I cannot access my internet or have issues getting on Tumblr @whatthefishh will give you all an update letting you know. (She hasn't confirmed this with me yet but I assume she will lol)

I'm going to be trying to get some works written ahead of time and scheduled to post while I'm away so it will be like I never left! (except I won't be able to respond much).

~ Masterlist ~

My masterlist is ALMOST complete. Once I'm done with it this time I will NOT be changing it again (unless my aesthetic changes but that will only be a cosmetic update). I'm happy with the way it's organized right now and I don't think it can get any better than it is personally lol. (I'm very proud of it please praise me)

~ FAQs ~

I'm working on an FAQs list to hopefully mitigate some of the repeat questions I get, or so I can just link them instead of having to respond to each individual question.

~ Thank You ~

The biggest thank you possible to those who sent in tips this week. I can't thank you enough. I added the tip thing without the expectation that people would actually use it so to have so many of you this week blew my mind. I love you, and I appreciate you more than you can know.

Disclaimer - I never know which way the winds of inspiration will blow. Timeframes aren't a promise/guarantee, they're a goal.

Fic Updates Legend:

Blue - should be posted this week

Pink - In progress actively (working on but will not be posted this week)

Red - Backburner Fic (will work on later. See WIP list for status)

Long/Chaptered Fics Updates

A Bit Dodgy - This fic is currently on hiatus. The plan is for it to return 07/31/2023. Things may change and if they do I'll let you all know! Thank you for bearing with me. More detailed explanation here.

Always Yours, Never Mine - Chapter 2 is coming right up! Just a couple scenes to add and it will be good to go. I'm thinking I'll be able to churn out one chapter a week but don't hold your breath please haha, things are getting really busy, but this fic is at the front of my mind right now for sure. - New chapter this week

The Fractured Moon - currently working on These Fractured Knights (TFM Bonus Chapters) 🫣😏 - Hoping to have the next chapter out this week. This has been moved to "longfics" since it will be at over 40k words upon completion. - New chapter this week

Mini-series Updates

Feeling You Can't Fight - New chapter coming out this week.

Not a Doctor - Part 2 coming soon - not for a while though.

Worth the Risk - taking a small step back from this for now. It’s not at the top of my inspiration list so I’m moving it down the line temporarily. - will work on a later date

The Good Doctors - idea by @burnincrown - Dr. Marc Spector - It's going to be a long time in the works, and it will probably replace TFM when that one is done. In development - Work on it a different week

Requests Updates

There are 4 ficlets left for my 1k follower celebration. Finally getting them done (I'm almost at 2k now lmao but won't be doing a celebration until a different milestone).

As a reminder, once these requests are finished, my requests will be closed for good. You can see the post explaining that here. Thank you again for the support and understanding!

Moon Boys X f!Reader by @simpforbritgents

Asking for something like Feeling Flustered where the moon boys are doing guided phone sex.

Marc Spector X f!Reader by @blueflowerhat

Marc shower sex based on AI prompt.

Nathan Bateman X f!Reader by @campingwiththecharmings

This is the prompt that hit me like a Nathan-shaped mac truck! -> “if you don’t like my teasing why are you moaning”

Nathan Bateman X f!Reader by Anon

Cam girl reader x Nathan - Nathan turns to a cam girl, he's been kinda stalking her. (Excited hehe)

That's all for now guys! I love you all and thank you so much for all the support you continue to give no matter what. You're amazing <3

[apcthetics]

*˖ ⊹ ────────  lore dump.

this is just a little collection of explanations about where my characters currently are physically, emotionally, career-wise, etc. it's mainly for me to keep myself straight with my ideas and their development but uhhh also to make sense if i drop any of it in a post. that's all ! read or don't read at your discretion ! don't matter to me.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  alistair castillo.

i really don’t imagine his life changes much from day to day to be totally honest………. there is nothing new happening in his life he’s still just being a menace upon new york and giving people sick ass tattoos.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  brady ackerman.

he’s been wound up in a lot of different projects and probably running himself into overdraft; busy filming the next season of his show, and also alongside it trying to finish out a manuscript for the next book he’s supposed to be writing, all while flying all over the world in just a handful of weeks. hasn’t touched down in new york for more than a few days in the past 2 months but hey at least he’s successful right. right guys. right. haha. he's not tired at all. don't look at his dark circles for too long. 

*˖ ⊹ ────────  caleb williamson.

christmas is a pretty big time for his little side gig selling rare records online, so that picked up quite a bit even as his music lessons kind of trailed off as kids went off on winter holiday. it’s also just been rly quiet for him because obviously christmas didn’t go very well as family dinners never really go well at the willamson/michaelson house and then luvena has been either away or rotting in her room so there’s not really been much for him to do if levi and trinity arealso preoccupied (with each other? idk i dont god mod 👀. ) he did do a really successful new years eve show i think that he’s proud of but mainly it’s just been his little side hustle and now as lessons are picking back up.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  clementine bailey.

so clem is still in the process/paperwork of buying the diner, all the bank loans and everything like that but she is now effectively in charge of it which has definitely been ! a big deal ! her and loren moved into a new apartment and clem has yet to even unpack most of her boxes because she’s spending a lot of time at the diner going over all the financials and trying to teach herself how to handle the back end of a business instead of just the front half. it’s A Lot and she’s definitely Stressed and crying a lot and everyone has been getting 3am baked thumb print cookies, but don't even worry about her !

*˖ ⊹ ────────  damien clarke.

christmas is always the best but busiest time of year for retail so i imagine damien has been putting in a lot of extra effort to make sure that it’s special !! he did some big holiday toy drives alongside some local charities, but since the christmas rush has kind of fallen off and times are slower he’s now just trying to get through the pile of bookkeeping and administrative stuff that he needs to worry about. i have been playing with the idea of him running a very limited indie comic publishing thing out of the back office of his shop, having started with the one done by him & honey and now kind of expanding to artists who maybe don’t have the funds or ability to afford printing and stuff themselves but………… idk the logistics of that yet so it’s definitely just an idea in his head that’s in the early stages. he’s having fun with it. honestly he's having a great time.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  eli russo.

again i don’t think his daily life has much variation. working security at a show venue a few evenings a week and still coaching the Youth ™ w/ boxing a few days a week… sometimes he does do like 14 hour days which is a bit unfortunate and his schedule is all over the place which is bad for the brain that can barely remember what day it is on a good week but you know!!! his memory has been slightly improving thanks to all of the puzzles & all that stuff!!! so like good for him!!! go off king!! 

*˖ ⊹ ────────  elijah guiterrez.

again i just brought him here so i don’t really think things have been particularly outstanding in his life. just him and carmen doing their little school thing idk. he’s working as a TA in among all the other school stuff he’s doing i suppose.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  esther thomas.

lowkey i think she’s started dropping off from doing auditions all together… like she’s so bored of them, and getting anywhere in the snow and cold is rough, so while she hasn’t admitted it to anyone or even necessarily herself she’s just like. not been looking. kind of giving up on her dream but doesn’t want to admit that because then that means her parents were right. but like really she’s resigned herself to the bartending life. otherwise nothing new.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  grace bao.

she’s been stuck in this hellish domestic civil lawsuit at the moment that’s eating up practically all of her spare time because the judge and the defense are assholes and she has gotten competitive about it, alongside all of her Daughter Responsibilities for her parents and their millions of holiday and new years parties. grace does nothing but work, eat, be miserable at charity dinners, work some more, and maybe sleep right now. that’s her whole social life. 

*˖ ⊹ ────────  jackson ruíz.

construction is fairly seasonal work so while he’s still working he’s not as busy as he usually is, and also it’s winter and everything is depressing, so he’s definitely been deep into hermit “i haven’t seen you in a week” mode. especially with giselle kind of flying out to conferences and stuff there hasn’t been much reason for him to get out of his apartment. he’s in a Depression Era but hey ! it happens ! 

*˖ ⊹ ────────  kal sekh.

i think the news of eren’s diagnosis has had quite an effect on kal, especially having to keep it a secret from everyone and also because she doesn’t want as much support for it as he feels like he should be giving, so he’s slipping a little bit into old habits again and overworking himself into the ground so he doesn’t have to rly stop and think about what’s happening. double shifts and insomnia are back baby !!!!!!!!!

*˖ ⊹ ────────  kas peters.

just came out of a period where he had a few different mural commissions going on all at the same time and he was much busier than he’s usually used to so now he is simply basking in the fact that he doesn’t have to worry about funds broke-ass artist bitch but also that he doesn’t have anything to do. just kind of vibing. fucking around with his art in his room. fucking around w/ gabriella’s emotions. you know how it is. no cares in the world for this guy.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  minji kyung.

around new years she had the opening of her studio !! so she’s been very busy, not really making art but she’s been spending a lot of her time at the gallery/studio. this is a really big change from her because she’s kind of lacked purpose or a project for a really long time that i imagine she’s just really happy and really excited ??? but also probably very daunted because she feels like she doesn’t belong or doesn’t have the skills to do it properly yano. 

*˖ ⊹ ────────  reid baker.

he took a little vacation time off since his work is also pretty seasonal to go back and visit his parents on the farm, but mostly his life has been no different except he’s been shovelling snow off the central park steps instead of just being a glorified gardener. honestly he’s pretty chill he doesn’t have the braincells to be anything except chill.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  sebastián dominguez-herrera.

this bad boy went on tour !!! first it was america, and following that he did a few shows in europe & south america. he’s also been working on his next album in between, but he’s at a bit of a stand still with that one because he isn’t feeling ~ inspired ~ and he’s kind of groggy and thinks he’s sick all the time because all the travelling + the winter that he’s not really used to. drama queen never experienced seasonal depression before and hes getting a little taste of it.

*˖ ⊹ ────────  wren noor.

i think wren is starting to actually reconsider the kinds of things she wants to do with her life and the degree she already has now… i think maybe she’s looking into online courses at other universities where she might be able to finish her masters but also is considering a career change totally… she’s been spending way more time on the roof with her telescope and getting excited about that stuff again as she heals, but definitely is still cautious,,, anyway she's been doing her research.

[neverendingparable]

(THERE IS A LONG PERIOD OF TIME IN WHICH I SCRIBBLE AWAY AT THE SURVEY WITH A HORRIBLY BASTARDIZED BIRO THAT KEEPS SPRINGING APART EVERY THREE SECONDS. BUT EVENTUALLY I SUCCEED AND HAND ULMAR THE PAPER BACK)

THE STANLEY PARABLE: ULTRA DELUXE SATISFACTION SURVEY

Question 1: Did you enjoy The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe? Y/N

well really i think it should be written 'did you enjoy the stanley parable: ultra deluxe, y/n?' but

ohhhhhhhh you meant yes/no. um. yes!!!

Question 2: What was your favorite ending? Please provide a short description why.

the skip button ending x) bc it reminds me of a dear dear friend sniff sniff sniff... oh sk(THE PAPER IS SOAKED WITH TEARS TO THE POINT THE REST OF THE WRITING IS UNREADABLE DESPITE THE FACT AT NO POINT IN THE ANSWERING PROCESS DID I APPEAR TO BE CRYING)

Question 3: What was your most played ending? If it is different than your favorite one, please explain why.

ooooooooo um. comedy timing ending. i play it a lot so i can master the art of comedic timing to a higher degree. and also simply because for some reason i find it spooky

enjoyment wise it probably IS my favourite but i feel this loyalty to the skip button because (ANOTHER SPLATTER OF TEARS) oh for fucks sake let's go on

Question 4: How likely are you to recommend the game to other players? 1 - Not likely, 10 - Extremely likely

ERMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM 1. not because its a bad game simply because i'm a sad, sad little man with not a lot of friends and even if i did have friends i don't often go around reccomending games to them

well, you did say 'players' and not 'friends', i guess. i don't necessarily have to be chummy with these hypothetical people. erm. players of what, that's the question.. players of the stanley parable (2013)? 10. well, no, uh, 3. because i would presume they'd already heard about the game. so it would be redundant to reccomend it then, wouldn't it? what about players of golf? um. actually, 7. because if i was talking with someone who played golf then i must REALLY be friends with them and so maybe id be more likely to reccomend this. but what's the context of the reccomendation? is this an online post? have i bumped into them at a party? are we- oh lawks ive run out of space

Question 5: What is your feedback to the developers, writers or narrators of this game? (Please note that intense negative feedback might have serious mental and physical consequences on those involved)

IMPLEMENT ANOTHER SKIP BUTTO- heheh no i jest i jest. sorry. i mean um.

TOBY. uh. T O B Y. i am going to tell a joke in which i reccomend feedback that has caused serious mental and physical consequences on those involved in the past, before cutting myself off (at which time you will laugh). i will then tell the developer, writers, or narrators to 'kill yourselves' (a phrase designed once more to imply serious mental and physical consequences) before cutting myself off again (where you will then laugh). um. T O B Y.

IMPLEMENT ANOTHER SKIP BUTTO- heheh no i jest i jest. just kidding. um. KILL YOURSEL- er, no. OKAY I'M NOW DONEY WITH THE FUNNY. please just fill out this eleven page survey for me. question one: did you like that joke? y/n

question two: will you m- aw shit im out of room again

Question 6: Have you ever worked in the Office? If so, do you find the experience of The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe realistic? If not, does The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe provide you with a positive image of the work environment in an office?

i have never worked in an office. um. ive never actually worked anywhere fun fact. but let's see. psychological experimentation, complete lack of regard for health and safety, mind control, sick-ass lounge- yeah it seems pretty positive to me!!

Question 7: Do you find Stanley relatable?

yes i too have a british voice in my head constantly providing me with annoying commentary. except he's called cas. haha. sorry that was a joke.

what i mean to say is ummmmmm TOBY. T O B- oh forget it. next question!

Question 8: Did you try to destroy the Bucket? Would you have preferred the game without the Bucket? How easy was it for you to attempt to destroy the Bucket? Do you love the Bucket?

I WOULD NEVER TRY TO DESTROY THE BUCKET... that is my FRIEND my LIFELONG COMPANION.... i have DREAMED ABOUT HER. don't try to make me think about a game without the bucket. that's like thinking about a world without sunshine or the bright happy laughter of children. shudders. what a horrible idea. abysmal, really. hey, is your name just straight up 'ulmar'?

Ulmar takes the survey with a beaming smile, reads over it once and then tucks it away, presumably to drop it off somewhere the developers or a Narrator could read through it.

He doesn't comment on the answers provided.

[abiiors]

hi! i’m the one who sent the (or one of) the anon about Brad. it’s essentially just what the other person in your ask box said about making fun of the fan base (mainly the female part.) he made a few reddit post to which everyone in the comments made fun of Brad for doing, along with the mods who deleted the post and told him to stop trying to drum up unnecessary controversy. i’m happy i now know more people are tired of his blatant misogyny towards the female fan base. i didn’t mean to cause any worry or upset towards Matty, i don’t know how much he contributes to Brad’s post. i just have been finding it strange that all Brad does is find videos of swifties/75 fans to make fun of them (Taylor herself too.) and that’s essentially his entire schtick/job. a lot of people in the reddit thread summed up my thoughts better than this could’ve. i don’t use twitter so i don’t know what people are saying there. either way i don’t think any of this is Matty’s fault, i think Brad kind of sucks and it just so happens Matty works with him here and there.

this might be a stupid place to say this, but tumblr is a lot kinder then reddit/twitter. does anybody else not like this whole thing with brad troemel? i don’t know why matty likes him/employs him. he set up a “the 1975 fan union” on instagram and posted about it on 3 or 4 reddits. majority of his post are so directly making fun of the female fan base. i understand the making fun of chronically online people who are deranged but this is just annoying. also him bringing up / posting about taylor swift (also strange if her and matty actually did date, to post about this man you work for ex-girlfriend.) sooo often. also he just says the most obvious things that anybody who has had a phone for longer than 3 days would know. he just post annoying infographics that has been all regurgitated stuff matty has been saying since like 2017 (start of abiior era.) i love matty and stuff but this era of infographics, what’s real/what’s fake, joking about what’s happening in the middle east/how there’s nothing he can do about it, and brad troemel era is so annoying. his cynicism in the start of the bfiafl era was very interesting and thought-provoking. now it’s just reusing the same boomer logic over and over. again this isn’t hate towards any fans or matty himself, just an observation from a huge fan.

combining both your asks into one, i hope you don't mind <3

i've seen a lot of opinions about this flying around, and i want to point out that we don't know for sure who's behind it but at the same time it does reek of brad and just also... a lot of misogyny in general.

i don't mind matty making fun of us in a haha light hearted way like sure some people do really take it too far and end up being the butt of the joke but someone else coming out the woodworks and making fun of people who literally only want to support their fav artists and enjoy their art and music feels like a slap in the face.

i don't want to jump to conclusions and say that matty knew or he's encouraging it or whatever because obv we don't know any of the behind th scenes but if it is really brad then i find it hard to believe that matty/the band won't know.

you, and a lot of other people have said that satvb got old really fast and to some it also feels like a shadow of atvb which i don't want to comment on because 1) i have never seen any of the shows live and 2) i feel like it's still an evolving thing and i don't want to have a fixed opinion of it until we have the full picture, i.e. the end of the tour. that's not to say tht your opinion isn't valid, i completely see where you're coming from.

based on what i know about brad from others, yeah i'm not a huge fan either but at the same time i'm not at all familiar with his art outside of his connection to the band.

anyway if it is actually him -- loser behaviour. i hope he has explosive diarrhea while proposing to the love of his life.

that's all, my apologies for the plethora of typos, i'm too hungover to correct them rn

[bonetrousle]

ok nobody asked but here are my feelings on good omens 2 (contains spoilers, obviously, though i doubt there is anyone on this website left who hasn't been spoiled.) but anyways. This gets a little long too haha I just have a lot to say

Well first off I just wanna say that it was so bad. So so bad. I honestly thought I'd come online after my spoiler-avoiding absence to find people posting about how terrible it was - not the case, it would seem! I was so bored and frustrated by the pacing, directing, editing, the score and the acting. Oh, and of course the writing. lmfao. There were multiple moments where we laughed out loud watching it because the edits/acting/directing were so bad. My general reaction was "that whole season was just like a fanfiction :/" and then I came online to find everyone saying "that whole season was just like a fanfiction!! 😍" like. I don't actually want my professionally-produced with a budget of more than $5 shows to be like a fanfiction, actually, thanks!!

The Beelzebub/Gabriel thing fucking blindsided me so bad and felt like it came out of nowhere. I hated it!!! I also hated the recast of Beelzebub! Like, no hate to the actor, but they were WAY too pretty to be playing Beelzebub. Why is it that they started a romantic plot with them and they also conveniently got more conventionally pretty. :/ Look how they massacred my boy!!! HATE!!!!!! This to me was the most fanservicey feeling part of the show, and I did not care for it :^) I could go on about this for quite some time in more depth, but I won't haha. all im saying is they did not do the mahi to get the treats. i'll leave it at that!!!

Sorry I hated the lesbians too. They were so annoying. Why did they have to be in every scene. shout out to neil for making me actively dislike a gay pairing, it's not easy to do!! Again, I could go on; I won't right now though!

TO THE POSITIVES: (spoilers ahead obvs) The last 15 minutes were genuinely so good, to me. So here's the thing. I was unwillingly spoiled for the fucking leaks by people posting on here about them without giving any warning at all. I had to unfollow a few accounts, but the damage was done. At least I didn't have any context for what was going to happen, but having avoided most promo, my assumption was this- there was only going to be a season 2, that was going to be the end, done and dusted. Aziraphale and Crowley would assumedly get together, and they'd all live happily every after, blah blah. Ok, fine! Great! I was super ready for that. My favourite experience of the show was the dawning realisation of horror during the most emotional part of the show that season 2 was not the end, and it was about to end on a fucking devastating cliffhanger. Like I was flabbergasted. In shock. THAT'S GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE!!! It also explained why the whole season felt like a bad movie 2 in a series of 3, in that nothing really fucking happened at all. Seriously. the plot felt so paper thin, there was really no need for every episode to be 45 mins +. Some tighter editing and it could've been 30 mins an episode. there just wasn't enough there to justify the run-time, to me!

Generally speaking of course, I loved all the aziraphale and crowley interactions, though some of them were unbearable (what was that shit with the laudanum in scotland, so cringe, auughh). In general I felt there could have been a bit more... subtlety in the acting and writing as a whole. It all felt very OTT, all the time. We went back and rewatched the cold open of season 1 episode 3 and it felt like it was emmy-winning in comparison in terms of pacing, directing, writing etc. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Anyway, the setup for season 3 was delicious, so I have higher hopes for that season potentially actually being good. But I'm not going to get my hopes up TOO high after that. General consensus to me is that that season was so bad, but no one cares/wants to acknowledge it because of the gay shit, and everyone's gonna pile neil up with applause and commendations, which he still doesn't deserve, imo!!! I'm a hater from the rave to the grave! he shouldn't have got in a twitter argument with my partner online!!! He made it personal!!! I'M IN YOUR WALLS!!!!!

Anyway, maybe after a rewatch I'll find more to enjoy. HAH! expect me to reblog gifsets about it anyway.

[rainmustfallts4]

Simblr Ask Game by Amelie

Original Post Here

Yes I know it's an ask game but these are fun to answer lmao

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🌸 What's your earliest memory of playing the sims?

My earliest memory is playing Sims 3 and visiting the future. I know that’s not actually my earliest experience, but my memory is very bad and this is the earliest I can remember. I definitely remember going outside the city and collecting parts(?) to unlock some spaceship or underground bunker. I forget.

💫 How did you discover the sims franchise?

I honestly have no idea lol Maybe just seeing it in the store and it seemed fun?

🍇 What was your first sims game?

Again, poor memory here lol I think I may have started with the Sims 3 base game?

🍦 How long have you been playing the sims?

Many many years lol Pretty sure I’ve been playing since the Sims 3 came out at the very least. So… about 15 years?

🧋 What is your favorite sims series? (sims 3, 2 etc.)

Sims 4 c: I actually hated this game when it first came out because it was so different from 3. I remember saying I would never get into 4 and would never stop playing 3 yet here I am.

🤍 Do you have a favorite sim created by you?

I’m honestly terrible at creating sims so I don’t have many that I’m proud of or really like. I have to say, though, I adore Bryon Rainhawk <3

🧸 Favorite townie? (any sims game)

Kiyoshi, Caleb, Vlad, Night Wraith and Morgyn Ember are my favorites c: At least that I can think of right now~

🍨 Do you have a sim self? If yes, do you play with them?

Tiger Rain, the sim you see in my Super Sim challenge, is sort of like me. But again, I’m terrible at making sims and every time I asked if she looked like me, people always said no. Eventually, I gave up and just made her a mix of me and what I wish I looked like. And yes! As stated, she’s the main star of my Super Sim challenge and I often use her in other challenges/scenarios.

🫐 How often do you play the sims?

I try to play every day. However, I’ve got commitment issues! I’ll be obsessed with one thing for months, then that obsession will switch to something else. So, right now, I’m obsessed with the sims and that's all I’m doing. Eventually, I will move on to something else for a few months, then something else and eventually I’ll make it back to the sims lol

🌱 Do/Can you relate to any of your sims?

I’m pretty boring, honestly. Though I do tend to make them similar to me in some ways, they live far more interesting and better lives than I do, even through all the torture haha

🐬 Favorite sims challenge?

I’ve only finished one challenge as of the date I’m writing this. I’ve attempted many over the years, some a few times. I can’t really think of any that stand out above the rest. Maybe the Asylum challenge?

👜 What in-game career would you choose if you were a sim?

Writer and Paranormal Investigator!

🌷 Which traits would you have if you were a sim?

Creative, geek, loves outdoors, loner, socially awkward.

🍮 Favorite thing to do in the sims? (Could literally be anything!)

In the game itself? Hmm, that’s a tough one. I’m quite fond of collecting things and trying out small, forgotten features that I’ve never done before! There’s so much to do in this game with all the packs, most of it overlooked.

❄️ Favorite in-game season if you own The Sims 4 Seasons?

Fall/Autumn, 100%. There is nothing better than red and orange leaves floating on a chilly breeze. And don’t even get me started on Halloween!

❣️ Do you talk about the sims with any of your friends/family members in real life?

No :( Sadly I only have a few people to talk to about it. They’re online and I'm not technically friends with most of them so we don’t talk often. Mostly, I just scream my thoughts about the sims into the void or at my vice-cultleader Meg lol

✉️ How big is your mods folder?

Very small. I don’t mind mods, but I’m the type to prefer games as they were intended. I only use the MCCC mod, some eyes CC, a uniform CC and colorful berry skins CC. I have been thinking about adding a taco stand and a tennis court, though.

☘️ Do you have any other social media where you post sims related content?

I started posting my content on WordPress. I’m not really sure where else to post my stuff. I’ve asked around, but people usually just say tumblr.

📱 What made you want to start a simblr?

WordPress has a limit on images. Because I play so much and take so many screenshots, I have quickly arrived at nearly 60% media storage. I’ll have to pay to increase it, which I may do I don’t know yet, so I migrated to Tumblr. I have no plans of leaving but I would like to find another place where I can post my sims content (without having to pay extra.)

[hekkoto]

Hello my darklings!

Here I come with lil post with update cause I feel like you deserve to know how things are going and why lately Im barely online

My main issue is my poor mental health, I again struggle with constant, daily suicidal thoughts. Im kinda used to this as I struggle with this since I was teen, when I was kid they werent daily at least. They stopped like 2 or 3 years ago but now they are back. Its really hard to live like this but I try to keep going, no matter how much it hurts. In case you dont know – I suffer from borderline which means Im constantly jumping between very strong emotions and my actions are often reckless. Usually you can see me being super euphoric but also very depressed. Lately those depressive moments started to be very long and harder than usually. Adding awful heatwave we had since few weeks it caused me to be on edge of giving up. Here I want to thank a lot everyone who was leaving nice comments or talking with me and trying to cheer me up, I know it might be tiring that I keep saying Im worthless and such but thats how I feel. Im not used to people being so nice to me, really thank you, you are saving my life. I would love to be able to ask for help but sadly Im not, I feel like Im burden to everyone. Its something I need to work on, it will take some time but sadly for now Im still struggling with this. But Im always super grateful for everything you do <3

In last days I sleep a lot, like up to 18 hours per day, right now Im not sure if thats cause of my chronic fatigue or depressive state. Im also wasting a lot of time watching lets plays from The Binding of Isaac: Repentance cause its my comfort game and it really helps me. So yeah, I barely do anything.

I struggle a lot with substance abuse, starting from overdosing antidepressants constantly just to survive, I also drink and such. Im aware its bad, Im aware that I cross the line but Im doing it to go through those days. I will try my best to limit this when I will feel better, when I wont need this to stay alive.

Here I want to apologize my Patrons, Im so so so sorry that in last months I dont post most of promised stuff and a lot of things are late ;-; and I want to thank you a lot for still being here, I cant express how happy I am. I promise that when I will feel better everything will be on time, I will also give you some bonus for your patience <3

Please, give me some more time to sort things out. I know that the best thing for me now would be therapy but sadly Im not able to afford this. I will ask my psychiatrist to prescribe me therapy so if in some magical way I will have money I will be able to start it. I start to consider asking my parents for this but honestly? They spend 1000PLN every month just on my meds, they also pay for my doctors, from time to time my mom goes with me to do lil shopping of hygienic stuff and home supplies and pays for everything. They also pay for my flat and all the bills. So yeah... they already spend a lot on me and I feel so bad about this and asking for more feels awful. But if this is something I need to stay alive I guess I have to...

My physical health isnt the best too, I suffer from quite bad pains of joints and muscles. I have bigger dose of meds for this but its still not perfect. Also on days when heatwave hits Im kinda trapped in my house, I cant go outside when its super hot cause its dangerous for me

Thanks to your support and my husband's help things arent super bad yet, thankfully I was able to not go back to self harm and my suicidal thoughts are just thoughts an Im not doing anything to actually kill myself. Without you... welp, I would be dead

I plan to use the best my time when Im feeling fine, I wanna draw and record a lot. So yeah, for now I cant promise any time when stuff will be there but I will do it. I will be working on one project which is very important for me, you will see it soon [I hope haha]. Right now I will focus on commissions and stuff for Patrons so if you wait for something from me – it will be there soon <3

Thank you a lot for your patience and love, you are awesome <3 I dont know how long it will take for me to get better but I will keep fighting and hopefully at some point I wont suffer so much. My past was awful and it damaged me a lot, fixing it will be very long and hard but I must stay strong. I will keep fighting and perhaps I will be able to make my dreams come true

Love ya, Hekkoto

[zero-braincells-left]

wow I like talking. I wasn’t gonna have a keep reading here because i want to force people to see it but then I thought about it for 2 seconds and decided that was shitty

if any of you knew me irl you wouldn’t like me. even if I think I act mostly the same I know it’s different . I shouldn’t have even made it this far i shouldn’t keep friends for this long why does nobody hate me yet why am I still her why does anyone put up with me?? And it’s so stupid I can have everything I don’t even think I deserve but it’s not enough I want more but i already think this is too much too. I don’t know what I’m scared of but it happens every time, it’s supposed to. So it has to again right. of course I don’t want it to because I don’t know who id do. I don’t want to be alone which is stupid because im NOT even at school there’s still people who tolerate me. And im fucking lucky as shit and I have a good family and they love me and they care so what makes losing everyone that’s latched onto this not even that fake online identity (maybe it’s fake but it has not too many differences from me usually. But. Irl feels fake too so idk) so scary? why do I think I wouldn’t live without this when I know damn well I could and would. Fuck why doesn’t it matter how many times I’ve talked about this and how many times I’ve been talked down from this. It always comes back and the stupid ass backwards logic of “if I leave everyone I care about first then they can’t leave me! haha gottem!!” Comes back. and NO!!!! im not doing that!! i cant do that again not after last time. that was horrible and even if im “over it” now that’s probably half the reason im scared. i don’t want that again. And I won’t get that again if i fucking stay quiet, right? But nooooo I love attention that other people deserve and need so so much more than me and I want people to worry about me and i want people to talk to me!! Last time I posted something like this i didnt even mean it that much. Some of it, sure, but.. i just wanted to see if anyone would say anything? and it worked and I feel bad because i didn’t deserve to be comforted for something I didn’t even mean why did I do that. it’s like the coward’s equivalent of suicide baiting since i don’t even have the guts for that. Heh. the only person getting a headache from me is myself (I do in fact have a headache that began maybe a third of the way through what I have typed right now lmao??). This. Isn’t even that serious. if i wanted I could just not post this and delete it from my drafts and go back to being silly because why would I bother making people worry? just for the attention I want? that’s shitty. What’s even worse is that I know people are willing to give it. you really really shouldn’t but haha can you blame me?? I’m just some stupid kid on the internet that’s okay at drawing and writing and has something to give at least so of course you’d like that!! of course you like Zero!!!! would you like the stupid kid behind the screen that does absolutely fucking nothing all day and is laying here crying at the fact that people might actually care about him?? would you like her?? maybe you would. maybe im being dumb right now. But it doesn’t matter because you’ll never know me. and would you want to, if I could? really all I have to show is this silly persona . I want more than that but this is all there is .

[thezoeydiaries]

ENTRY #2

Hi blog!

So just the other day, I went to the mall and had this idea of going to a K-Grill place and eating Samgyupsal alone. The idea was sort of intimidating at first for a few reasons:

I am currently a pretty hefty girl and I know I'll earn some weird looks from strangers.

I know I'd have to eat a lot of meat when I'm not even that hungry.

I have this irrational fear of being photographed by a random person while eating alone in a public place. (I don't want to be posted online with a sad empathetic caption and be pitied for being "alone" in public lol)

But despite having second thoughts about eating Samgyupsal on my own —I still did it. Because quite frankly, it was what I wanted to do at the time. So I braved my way into the place and asked for a table, and when the girl asked for how many —I chickened out and said it was for two.

I know, I shouldn't have lied about it, but I was kind of embarrassed knowing I'd be eating a ton of food on my own and I just wasn't prepared to see the judgment on their faces if I said I was dining alone. And since that happened, I had to find some excuse halfway into grilling, to say that nobody else was going to be joining me. LOL.

I'm usually the type of person who does what she wants, regardless of what others might think (don't get me wrong, there's a time and a place for this kind of behavior). As long as I don't hurt or disrespect anyone in the process of making that decision, then I shouldn't really care about what others might think right? Wrong. It may be easier said than done. While in principle, yes it should be that way, but as humans, we have the fundamental need to not be seen as socially deviant; that includes not doing things out of the ordinary to avoid being seen as odd. And going to a K-Grill place alone (when you usually go in groups) can somehow be seen as a peculiar move.

Regardless of this, I went to see just how far I could push myself out of my comfort zone. I went in there grilled some meat, watched videos on my phone, had a small chat with one of the waiters, and enjoyed my meal while I had a short catch-up with my dear cousin —Anjellikah over a video call.

As I finished talking to Jelly, one of the waiters came up to me and asked where my "companion" was and this is where I had to come up with a lie to cover up the fact that I intentionally went there to eat alone HAHAHAHAHA. I told Kuya "Ahh ang tagal nga po kaya nauna na po ako kumain", then he asked me where I worked and I told him that I worked for GMA Network. And after a short conversation, I pretended to get a text saying that my "COMPANION" would no longer be joining me. I told Kuya-Waiter this, and he removed the plate and other side dishes in front of me.

After the whole *palusot* thing I felt more at ease and I enjoyed the meal more since I didn't have the pressure of "waiting on someone" when there was no one to begin with. And that's when I realized how silly I was acting; people don't really care if you're alone or not, and even if they did, it's not like they're the ones getting full from eating all that glorious grilled meat lol.

Overall, I enjoyed my time in that K-Grill place near my dormitory, and I look forward to the next time I get to eat there again. For now, I think I've had enough beef to last me the next couple of months (si OA naman haha). But next time, I'll surely have more confidence entering that place and only asking for a table for one :)

Till my next grilling adventures~

Love,

Zoey na medyo amoy usok

[bunnypopgal]

Hello. It's been a few years since i made this blog and made my first post. I now deleted my first post bc i found it to be cringe and honestly really painful. i have grown a lot in these past years and have seemingly beat my hallucinations for now. i know that will most likely come back prob once i become a mother one day but i feel more prepared to beat them again.

Other than that i dumped and got dump by two partners, made and lost almost all my friends besides one. dont judge by like im sure many of us are im a sucker for the friends turned lovers trope and well ive been dating my best friend for almost going 2 years now. he has been super accepting, a wonderful partner and my biggest support thru it all so far. hes my only support system honestly.

i am deeply scared to make friends again after what my last friend did to me.. for years and i just let her. i cant really blame it on having low self worth either since i honestly really like myself and who i am but more so i didnt know HOW to be treated by others. let me be clear NOT how I treat others, no-no but HOW others SHOULD treat ME. isnt that nuts? you think that would be something we just have inside of us as humans (or otherwise) that we would just KNOW that. i dont FEEL like a doormat either but maybe i am. not with everyone, mind you. just like people ive grown to have developed a trusting bond in with respect packed in there like a mozzie stick, yum, ya know? i love em like chosen family and youre gonna body shame me for not being short for a woman, like what? you think i wouldve picked it out asap that chick SCREAMED pick me but i also saw her good qualities too which is why i wanted to be friends with her... i trusted her a lot. Oh well tho.

As much as it still hurts sometimes the fear is still there. i, as a woman also fear other woman. i know, i know. there is so many other wonderful women out there who would never treat me so badly but my brain is gone broken from so many traumatizing events over and over again. it irrational, i know it. its also isolating. i dont go out much at all but honestly blame the economy for that. i plan to be getting a part time job soon which you can also blame the economy for haha but also i want to meet people and have some kinda structure in my life again. hoping for friends right now is something im maybe not ready for honestly i think ill just start with talking to people again and let that be that. i hope to get some kind of a cleaning job so it will be a little to no talking to people depending on where im set up.

im just kinda scared to open myself up again to other people. online of course is different mainly besides the usual explanation but also for me, the internet is a black hole where NO ONE see the crap i shit out which includes my art i make sadly. i dont really try all like hard to make people see it anyways. i am still scared of people after all.

anyways today i have plans to hang out with my partner before he has to go to work. im hoping we can play palworld together again hehe. Other than that its house chores and back to drawing for me today. i just came out of another depressive episode recently so i have a few great messes to clean up. its a good thing i like cleaning, ya know when i dont feel like i wanna disappear. what can i say, its genetic. thanks, dad haha.

im planning to get back into my old hobbies too like live streaming. ive been live streaming all over the internet off and on since i was maybe 14. im 23 now so 10 years!!! WOWIE!! when i was growing up my family would joke around saying i need my own reality show haha. i do have a huge personality, ig but thats something im very comfortable and like about myself. bold and funny, i think!! streaming is a super relaxing thing to me. i talk to myself anyways and i always have. you dont stay this "sane" without talking to yourself to fight off the loneliness haha.

that reminds me recently my partner told me he found me to be a "increaser of morale, an inspiring person, you're motivating and you make being emotionally positive SO EASY." im still so stunned and very very VERY flattered he told me that! even if its not true im glad he feels that way bc thats a nice way to be. hes very very sweet to me.

well i could write forever right now honestly but i should probably go drink enough water to take out a house fire so i dont die of dehydration.

oh, if only. (JOKING)

[muddiestpath]

Vent about the last post (my health, not about OP)

I remember being so ill from that random stomach bug that I saw everything the same value & could recognise shapes. I barely kept down water & these nairn's fruit/out biscuits(gluten-free bc I'm also coeliac).

My room used to be next to the living room & I could hear my family laugh at the tv as I stared at the picture on my wall, thinking I was dying. I couldn't speak to ask for help. If I messaged on my phone, it'd not be seen or be met with "in a minute" responses that 60٪ would be forgotten.

It took them 3 months to take me to the Dr.

I remember once I started being able to walk to the living room, my mum (in perhaps her attempt of being positive or cheering me up) said how much slimmer I was. I had lost my muscle mass & only ate the above single pack of 4 biscuits in a day.

That was the moment I lost faith in her. The nail in the coffin of my trust in her. She was doing what most ppl do when they see an ill relative: find something to compliment. But after the year I had been through of complete isolation, where she forgot me on the otherside of that living room wall. All she saw was I was thinner & that was positive to her.

Sorry, didn't mean to zero in on my mum. They all did similar things, she just was more often overpromising support.

Now is better. I'm in a bigger room in the attic with my own bathroom & space for my rabbit to run around. I can walk around the house & garden. I can eat 2 meals some days. I am larger than I was before. Still get motion sick near instantly at shakey cameras/first person perspective games & barely manage 10min car ride. Still don't wear my glasses bc my prescription keeps changing & glasses make me nauseous (as you can imagine I now am deathly afraid of nausea & am on situational anxiety/antinausea meds). I'm short-sighted with astigmatism, not too bad most days but sometimes I get a bloodshot eye or eyestrain, I know it's not healthy but being told I have to power through the nausea to readjust to glasses... isn't going to happen.

I'm on financial support but it's not built for chronic conditions & I don't have the energy(haha) to fight the gov to pass the long promised system reform for disability aid. This support also means I am legally unable to earn any money unless I cancel my support all together. We were promised in 2018 a new disability category for cfs/me & long covid that would allow me to work when I am able. It is now buried as a "rolling issue".

I'm trying every day to do the stretches & exercises to build muscle strength back. But CFS/ME has no treatment or cure, so again it's a "tough it out" situation where most days I can't even do those stretches.

Recently a new Dr has me on thyroid supplements & I can only "hope" it helps.

But over everything. I am actually lonely! I've never felt this before. I'm a severe introvert, I have a tiny social battery. But now I'm years out of university, have about 5 ppl I talk to online even semi regularly, & I haven't seen anyone outside my family or medical professionals in those years.

I am now 30 & have no footing in meeting new people irl or online.

I want to have more friends. I want to experience what dating is like. But I have so little energy or social skills that it's it seems like I'm brushing them off. Added to the fact I'm asleep when everyone I know is online? It bites.

I want a new body with better hardware. This one is faulty. But I'm stuck in it & doing my best. Don't pity me. My family already does that.

[la-appel-du-vide]

11•24•23 - Black Friday 🖤

Black Friday is quite honestly one of my favorite days of the year, thanks to Kena and Jackie letting me join them so many years ago. Usually I am just there to go with the flow, and shop where they want to shop, but this year, Ken and I had a real goal. Thanks to B getting me overly obsessed with vinyl records, I now believe I have to have every exclusive record and color, and so when Olivia Rodrigo announced a secret song version of Guts, available only on Black Friday Record Store Day, it became a must have for me, and Ken too. Not only is it so cool to have all four secret songs on one record, but the record also has an etched butterfly art on it! We knew each record store would only have a few copies, so we were planning to get there super early and wait it out. We decided to go to Lavender Vinyl around 2, because once it hits 8 AM, they give out tickets that let you keep your spot in line, and go take a break until you open at 10. But last minute, Gray Whale announced that in addition to those Olivia records, they also found some SIGNED Folklore CD's! I don't have anything signed by Taylor, and Folklore is one of my favorite albums of all time! So we reluctantly made the decision to switch out to Gray Whale. The downside was that they don't give out tickets, so we just had to sit and wait until 10 AM.

We arrived just after 2, and there was no one else there. We were able to sit in the car until around 4:30, when the next person arrived. From then on, we had to brave the cold and sit out on the sidewalk. It was freezing, dark, and so boring. Kena took a nap for awhile and I listened to my audiobook. At 5, I ran next door to Starbucks to get us breakfast, since neither one of us was feeling that great. Other than that, we just sat there. It didn't take long for a line to wrap around the entire building.

The hours dragged on, and I was ready to be done. B brought some additional blankets and hot chocolates to us around 8, and that helped. And from then on, we played some rounds of Uno until opening.

I loved the way Gray Whale handled it though. They let just Kena and I in first, since we were first in line, and gave us as much time as we felt we needed to peruse the Black Friday items and pick what we wanted, before letting the next people in. It was so peaceful and calm, and it should always be that way. We both got signed Folklore, Olivia Rodrigo, and the new Sia Christmas EP. I also got a copy of Cape Elizabeth by Noah Kahan for Mikayla's Christmas present, since she loves him and this was an RSD exclusive, that is so beautiful like an ocean. I picked up a fat stack of records for B as well, including the Diamond Collection by Post Malone and the Beach Boys Christmas.

Basically, we walked out with a whole HAUL. And I have no regrets. It was fun to walk past everyone in line, knowing we got all the things we wanted, and they just didn't get there early enough haha. Plus, I was just so happy to be warm again.

We met up with Jackie and Marilyn after to hit Target, and then stop for our traditional lunch at Chick-fil-A. We also went to the mall for Bath and Body Works, and then made a run down to the Centerville Target where we picked up mini-brand books that we ordered. We have all seen them online, and wanted to get some ourselves! Each ball has four mini books, but it's always a surprise which ones you'll get. We opened them together to compare, and my favorite of mine was Colleen Hoover's Reminders of Him. They're all really cute though.

Kena and I also made stops at Barnes and Noble and PetCo after Jackie and Marilyn were done for the day, so yeah, we shopped until we dropped. I wanted to go home and just take a nap, but the day was FAR from over. I had to drop Kena off and then run to Brayden's family Thanksgiving, which I was quite late too. But the food was great, again with the mashed potatoes and gravy, but also green bean casserole! Reef was there, which made things a bit more chaotic, but we got through it. He is hard to keep calm when he's on a leash, but other puppies aren't haha. Who could blame him?

And once that was done, I had to run to my mom's little birthday celebration. We had cupcakes and ice cream, and let her open her gift, which was a family photo session from my siblings and I. I think she's excited, other than the getting ready for photos process haha. But other than the weddings, we haven't had family photos taken in so long.

Dad also planned an entire girls day for my sisters, my mom and I the next day as his gift to her, and the whole day was a surprise to her. We took her to breakfast, and then took her on a shopping spree. I think she had a good time, and we all did too. She picked out a new Christmas door mat, some towels, the Charlie Brown Christmas record, some books, a sweater, a pair of boots, some perfume... she killed it. So again, almost two full days of shopping!

And Saturday's outing with mom was followed by seeing Elf at Hale Centre Theater with Brayden's parents and sister. It was cute, and had some original funny parts, but overall, I wish they would have stayed true to the movie plot, and it's so hard to live up to haha. But still fun!

There's nothing like a completely full, busy, magical, fun Thanksgiving weekend to get you right into the Christmas spirit!

[ayamisc]

Minesweeper and Life

Minesweeper. You all know it right? ..that addicting little game found in everyone's PC and stuff?

..well… when i first had my VERY FIRST PC 9 years ago [i think] …that's when i first saw it..

well. back then, i TOTALLY didn't understand how to play it. why? because i'm the type of person who don't like reading the directions and stuff. i like to "discover" how to do things WITHOUT the help of the manual/directions…

so. i just clicked.. and clicked…. and clicked. ..naturally. i never won 0_0 so, i never played it again. LOL…

so. 2 nights ago. i played it here on my laptop.. and i.. won o_0 yeah.. i know. lameness. but i did. haha… then i GOT IT. LOL…. i finally understood how to play that game >_>

anyway..so..life. it's been more than a month. my mom's coming soon. but. first things first.

i'm finally getting used to living here again. ^_^ like for example.. i'm no longer uncomfortable when i go eat at some fast food place unlike my first experience when i got back o_o so, now. i just order… then eat normally… then leave… oh. and i no longer answer the cashier/waiter in english when they ask me "what can i do for you" or something. haha… and i no longer look or notice when someone speaks Tagalog.. coz good Lord.. everyone almost always does [unless of course they're foreigners and speak Korean or something] ….and i'm used to the heat. the thunderstorms. and the floods. LOL… now that i look back… it seemed like i was "site-seeing" when all i was looking at was the flooded streets during my 1st week back..hahaha

oh. and i don't use the internet as often anymore. i ACTUALLY watch TV now…. and i read the newspaper regularly. [just like 5 years ago when i was living here still]

still. i haven't "hang out" with the "normal" people yet..so to speak… which is why i can't wait to go home to the province.. or at least go out with some of my friends… but. not yet. noone knows i'm here yet soooo…. i suppose i gotta endure staying here at home.. >_> ..untill my mom comes… anyway. haha..

see ya……….. ^^

PS. Minesweeper Online link for those who want to play online!

PPS. This blog was originally posted on DeviantArt.

[sqeca]

Zatsudan #イロハのキモチ

I apologize if the translation is not accurate

19 April 2023

I’m Okuda Iroha! 🦙

Recent events,

I thought I might talk about them a bit, so this is a relaxed and casual blog

What I'm obsessed with these days is,

Well, rock bathing. It's lower in temperature than a sauna, and you lie down on stone slabs. But before you know it, you're sweating buckets

It feels so good, you know~ But lately, I'm starting to get into saunas too. I might have even experienced this thing called 'sei-u'!

After about 5 minutes in the sauna and 30 seconds in the water bath, it slowly cooled down and felt great. I had never been able to take a water bath before, but now I could soak my toes in the water bath! I was able to soak up to my shoulders for 2 to 3 minutes. I want to get in shape again!

Im also into cooking!

I make my own lunch today, and when I have to travel long distances, I make my own breakfast.

Also, I love naan, and recently I made it myself! Kubo-san recommended this self-made naan from Muji. It was delicious!

These are some of the dishes I've made in the past year and served them in a nice way. ⬇️

I usually cook quite often, but I have a fatal flaw;

I'm terrible at presentation.

I have no sense for it, so I don't have many pictures to share.

The taste is delicious, but I can't take good-looking photos of it 🥺.

I can't post it on my blog, but maybe I'll share it during a chat, haha

I'm also into taking walks!

I walk for more than 3 kilometers, slowly listening to music or enjoying the scenery, and sometimes searching for new Indian curry restaurants.

I always forget to charge my camera battery, so I feel a little disappointed that I can't capture the beautiful scenery.

Walking allows me to think about many things, or even not to think about anything at all, so I enjoy it

Well, that's about it these days.

Recommended songs.

I was asked for recommendations during an online meet & greet, but there were too many to think of right away... so I wanted to talk about it again 😌

But I'm the kind of person who, once I get into something, I listen to the same thing over and over again, so my playlist doesn't change much

What I've been listening to a lot lately is:

・New Jeans / Ditto

・MOKA SATO & DENIMS / Lukewarm

・Anna / Nemuru toki ni anata no koe wo

・CreepHyp / Boys End Girls

・Haruomi Hosono / Jusho Futei Mushoku Teishunyu

・Haruomi Hosono / Koiwa Momoiro

・GOING UNDER GROUND / Tokyo

・J_ust / will be happy

・10cm / Phonecert

I recommend all of them!

❔iroha ni kikitai no❕

Q: Since the start of Nogizaka46's messaging service, the letter feature has been added. But do you also read the comments on the blog?

A: Of course!

Q: It seems like a photo taken recently. I want to see Iroha-chan wearing glasses!

A: Come to Iroha's Nogi-me

Q: Have you heard any words recently that made you happy?

A: I was happy when someone said I was eating deliciously

Q: I would like you to tell me which Nogizaka songs you think have wonderful lyrics!

A: Boku Ga Te Wo Tataku Hou e

Q: What's something you've bought recently that you're happy with?

A: An old movie pamphlet that has a unique charm to it

Q: What is your favorite song from Under?

A: Nichijou, Namidaga Mada Kanashimidattakoro

That's all

Announcement 📢

"Cho Nogizaka Star Tanjou!" will start airing on Nippon TV from 25:29 on Monday, April 24! This time, in addition to singing, we will also perform comedy skits. We're excited and nervous. Please watch this season too!

The live streaming of the Under Live on April 27 has been decided! It will be the final performance of this tour. We've learned a lot from our seniors and have been doing our best, so we hope many people will watch it!

The drama "Koshodo Monogatari," in which 5th generation are performing, has started airing!

A new episode is available every Tuesday.

◇Lemino:

◇ひかりTV:

This is the banana cake I brought in for you that we talked about on SHOWROOM. It looks delicious, doesn't it?

Oh, I had a particular thing about it. It's not a cake, but I wrote various emojis to avoid overlapping them with the handwritten message beside them.

I hope that the person who receives it will be a little excited! I'm glad that my co-stars and staff were happy with it 🔆

The work was created on such a wonderful set, so I would be happy if you could watch it! Oh, please watch it with warm eyes.

Alright then, bye👋🏼