#[[ v ✧ the med student ]]
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you guys have no idea what crazy friday plans i have (putting on a cute comfy fit, lip gloss mascara and spf applied, kilian’s love on pulse points, hitting the gym first thing in the morning w flash cards, studying at the library until sundown)
#haven’t gone out in a minute and i don’t even feel like i’m missing much#this is literally my ideal friday these days#oh and i’m probably getting my nails done this weekend :) w a v day color#AND my neuro clinic training starts next week.#the neuro clinic / research falls under the med school in this city so i’ll be at the on campus library all the time.#studying in the presence of actual med students#my pre med student heart will b so happy about that#i’ve had so many extracurriculars happening ive had to work around lately#so it’ll be nice to devote a whole day to uninterrupted studying like i used to#p
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my family doctor’s small clinic making masks mandatory when the 3 other hospitals / clinics i’ve been to in the past 3 days have not had a single person wearing a mask he’s truly one of the greats
#im always the only person wearing a mask at these places so hearing the masks mandatory thing made me v pleasantly surprised <3#hes always great actually i love him hes like a relative to me fr#anyway he relieved me of so much stress thank u god for him like :') felt like i was talking to a wall earlier today#and he was just saying the same thing i was thinking earlier :'))))#ANYWAY chronic pain sucks and anyone who tries to say omg ur just stressed needs to give their medical exams again <3#like i've had this for 3? 4? years and ur trying to tell me it's in my HEAD???? i think not#when ive been taking a hell of a lot of meds too for this??? and they work???? anyway#like listen ofc im stressed im an engg student. i assure u that is not why 3 neurologists have diagnosed me w smth else tho.
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i don't keep up w spy x family regularly so i end up reading ~10 chapters all at once which i think is a good thing bc if i had to wait week to week during some of these intense arcs i would go insane
#sxf#86 was extremely good#the med student part of me is v concerned over the fact that loid#chose to disguise his injury instead of getting first aid for his literal hole-in-arm gsw#seeing his arm under running water from the shower nearly gave me hives#but ik this story is so unrealistic comedy-esque so it's fine he's fine he won't lose blood like that#side note i wonder if the fake skin was compressing the gsw in lieu of an actual bandage...#did they not have time to stitch it in the car? how did they bandage and sling nightfall#but do nothing for loid if not on his request bc???#that is my ongoing theory (compression sleeve) to preserve my sanity#anyway i do think i read the beginning of red circus week to week but not the last half i learned my lesson#i couldn't even imagine having breaks during this arc... i think 86 was a good wrapup too#if there's 1 more to finish it off then i can wait. no cliffhanger from this one rly
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oh so this is why no one pirates media anymore
this can't be true can it
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always fun to have a new admin nemesis
#Afton hums#I am just trying to be normal and useful why are You being weird#sorry to Alexis who has heard me complain about this a million times today#but I just got out of the tutoring session this admin told me she was Very Comcerned about my ability to do well#and the student said that it was v useful and accessible to her#where she wasn’t afraid of the material anymore#so fuck that admin anyway#I can say fuck her oh my tumblr blog. bc it seems unlikely that the school will ever find it ahahahaha#she was just big mad bc I’m an md-phd apparently. like that seems to be the sum of her problem#like not actually bc anything I’ve done has indicated I would struggle to teach the material#she said that they checked my scores and small group comments#she’s just mad I’m a fifth year. tho she was willing to work with me when she thought I was a fourth year med student#other than I guess I’ve been in lab and my classmates were in clinic#point blank quizzing me and my roommates on the coag cascade prob would have sucked for all of us!#like. functionally what is the difference#also they advertise this as an opportunity to review information as an older student#so guess what I did last night!!! reviewed!!!!!#so to get an email this morning that was essentially The University thinks you’re a Dipshit#after getting hired with an email that was like oh be proud you’re qualified for this!#and after preparing!!#is pretty fucking goddamn annoying#but I bet my classmates as fourth years would have had to review pathophys!! biochemical mechanisms!!
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i think i probably need to go back to therapy because why can i not let this thing go
#problem is i can’t bc. 1 that would mean admitting it 2 theyll cancel my adhd referral and i won’t be able to get meds#and 3 my cardiologist will try and pin everything on that instead of the pots#which means i won’t get proper treatment#and private isn’t an option bc i am an unemployed student and student finance england is a bitch#and my parents have made it v clear to me that the only private care they’d ever pay for is for my sister#sorry i didn’t mean to go on for so long im just mad at myself and tired
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PROGRESS
#I’m taking a break to see how they dry before I keep going#pro tip for anyone considering it. don’t buy 100 year old furniture from a tired med student with 4 cats!! you might just regret it!!#but still. considering it is 100 years old it could be WAY worse#once I get the stains and smell out the only issue will be the fading#which. happens to velvet in sunlight#so considering it’s age it’s a miracle that particular issue isn’t Worse#and through the power of tide pods and baking soda I think I got Most the smell out?#idk I’m gonna steam it again then scrub it down again to ensure I got as much out as possible#and I found the little spoons I sold a couple days ago! which is v good cause I had NO IDEA where they were before#apparently! they had been grouped together with my aunts old jewelery for some reason??#eh it’s fine just gotta package them now XD
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Hiii so I watched this Indian movie on Amazon prime, called AMMU. Dude, it was so eerily similar to Kaiho, I was low-key creeped out. How did you capture how victims of abuse think and behave so perfectly
- med student anon
tw: physical abuse, domestic violence.
henlo! and i just Google'd the movie lol. i am not big on watching Indian movies, i watch bengali movies but i am far from mainstream media so this is new. also, i avoid movies which are based on the society around us because i see it all around me all the damn time.
honestly, this whole domestic violence thing isn't new to India and Indian women who are coaxed into an arrange marriage and become a housewife. its an old tale that we are still fighting today.
recently, i have been seeing this reel coming up a lot on my FYP, it's also a South Indian movie (i forgot the name) where the wife recounts that her husband slapped her 21 times in the past some months since marriage and she was asked to adjust by the family so she did the math that in these months its 21, in these many years it will be xyz. after obviously failing to get any help from the family (her or his) she started learning self defense through YouTube and finally stood up to her husband herself. (idk the full plot, this is what i got from the reel)
so these topics, these movies about domestic violence have been around since India starting the cinematography business and we still have not been able to rid the society of this disease.
i have seen it around me a lot, even growing up as a child. not in my family or house, but in my neighbourhood, among my friends' parents or just random strangers on the road.
even when i am six feet under, i would never blame the victim (the women in most situations) but a victim's mindset is a tricky road. when you live with your abuser, you become dependent on them because in almost all the cases you are a liability; with little to no education, no income source and a society where women are seen as a the weaker gender so for abused women to actually just up and leave, it takes a lot.
i blame the women's parents. always. because they always know that's happening and they do nothing. i don't expect much from the men's family cause they couldn't teach their son shit so why should anyone expect them to understand anything now but the girls' parents? bruh they CHOOSE to stay blind. and no, you cannot prove me otherwise.
tw: death
i have mostly worked in the criminal law area and the cases i worked revolved around rape, dowry deaths, cruelty against women, domestic violence, etc (i was on the defense side lol, i know, ironic). this one time we had a dowry death case where the wife had been subject to continuous emotional, mental and physical abuse by the husband's family for dowry. the girl's parents knew but didn't do shit. now, one night she calls up her dad and tells her that she overheard her in-laws and that they have been planning to kill her for a while and tonight is the night because she can just feel it. you know what the dad said? child, it's too late in the night for me to show up at your in-laws house, it'll be considered rude so i will come by tomorrow early morning.
after a few hours of that call, the in-laws burned her alive. all because her coward parents fucking thought about society first. and now they are fighting because their daughter is gone? how fucking dare they. the only person who deserves justice in this case is the girl and not her parents and their emotional pain. she's fucking ashes because her father couldn't ride out (30-40kms) in the middle of the night to save his daughter who's been subject to continuous torture because they CHOSE the man she must marry and CHOSE for her that she must always bare the torture cause fucking society.
#also is the movie really v similar to my story? is it my time to sue for plagiarism and become rich? 🤤🤤#asks#askjaim#kaiho#tatemae series#med student anon
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invited to a movie night with like 12 other people (at an apartment that comfortably sits 5) where I only know like half the people going and genuinely LIKE only 4 of those and now the people i DONT know nor CARE to know are talking abt bringing edibles like can i reiterate i do not know these people and do not want to get high with them. I barely want to watch a fucking movie with them….stay in y’all’s lanes please
#fucking med students…the worst people truly truly why am I friends with like 2 of them the rest are…….#v
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No Hard Feelings
Pairing: zayne x f! reader
tags: nsfw | mutual pining? | virgins in love | 69 | protected p in v | big dick zayne (cause he was my man before sylus and we love virgins who hide big packages) | small angst |
a/n: sitting pretty on my drafts since february. i love writing in this format it just lets your ideas flow | zayne is a harvard med alumni free from student debt cause he's rich and we all know it
inspired by one of my fav rom coms no hard feelings i swear its so funny
you are nothing but a broke college student looking for ways to make extra money. so what can you do when your friend shows you a totally suspicious ad?
"we are looking for a girl with experience to seduce our son and help him have a social life. preferably pretty. will be handsomely compensated"
you grab the opportunity after much thought and show up in the sluttiest dress to make sure you fit the 'girl with experience' part despite your v-card being intact.
and you never thought that you'd be sitting in a mansion's living room, listening to a rich mother yap about her worries for her beloved and only son's social life
"you see... it's because i'm deeply worried about our son! we are very proud he's doing well before going to medical school but it's summer and all his peers are going out on vacations, dating, and partying, but he doesn't seem to be interested in any of those since his time at university!"
let's say when you asked what he looked like and turned around to see a picture frame, you were instantly sold onto this 'fuck their son' plan
his parents said their beloved Zayne volunteers at the public park to tend to the flowers. he works under the hot son with his stoic face and meaty arms to which you space out a little.
imagine his surprise when his view got shadowed by your figure, looking up to see the expanse of your thighs, your boobs supported by a push-up bra. this was your best attempt at looking like a vixen
"heyyyy, can I touch your buds?" you giggle (cringing inwardly) and the rest is history.
Zayne didn't know what to fucking say but glare at you.
it was hard to get close to Zayne because that man was a brick wall. he was so reserved and quiet, always so serious despite your attempts at fun time. yet with every time you spent together, his walls break down bit by bit.
and when you saw a crack in his walls, you unknowingly tore it down along with yours.
because you are unexpectedly falling in love with him.
"I thought this was movie night" Both of you remove your tops amidst giggles and short kisses.
"Mhmm, you smell like Jasmines." Zayne pretends not to hear you as he rasps against your ear, kissing your neck as his fingers drag down to tug at your shorts and panty. You whine when he successfully removes it, cold air hitting your inner thighs as he shushes you through small, wet kisses.
"That perfume was on sale, I knew I had to buy it for you" You smile and Zayne mirrors it on his lips, making your heart skip out of your chest. He caresses your hips softly, dangerously inching closer to your core where you're positively throbbing.
"You know me so well. It's as if you were sent by someone for me."
You chuckle awkwardly, letting him trail down light kisses on your neck, all the way to your collarbones. His statement slaps you back to reality. That you were just a girl taking advantage of him and his parents' money. But with each kiss that matches with the beat of your heart, you feel that this acting of yours turned a little too real. You just wanted him between your thighs, lost in your body, drunk on your kisses, and never have him find out the truth.
Zayne looks up at you from an angle, wanting to ask for permission to dive in your pussy, but then he sees you spacing out, and it’s not the cockdrunk look he sees on porn videos. You looked sad and miserable while staring into nothing, he fears he might have bored you to death and he’s too much of a virgin to satisfy you. Zayne looked scared to snap you out of it, he lightly nudged your thigh, and your gaze finally shifted to him. You still haven’t gotten rid of that look yet.
“Sorry, let’s not do this today if you aren’t feeling well” zayne speaks softly while sitting up, the care evident in his eyes, and you wanted nothing more than to jump in his arms.
You shook your head, a smile on your face. “I’m sorry I killed the mood. Are you still hard?”
“What?”
“I mean, is your dick hard?”
Zayne looks down for a moment and replies, “Yeah…I’m hard”
You giggle and reach over to give him a peck. “Let me suck you off. You’ll feel good, I promise” You say as if you sucked dick before. You were quite nervous to put something in your mouth for the first time, fearing for your throat and untrained gag reflex. Also, Zayne looks pretty big from the way he’s tenting from his shorts, it wasn’t going to be easy.
Your heart was beating from your chest as Zayne sat with his legs on both sides of your body, presenting you with his aching bulge. You tug down his shorts along with his underwear and you see his big cock that he’s been hiding all along. Zayne flushes red on his ears and neck as you stare at his size in awe. The tip was angry and leaking, twitching occasionally as the man before you winced. Its girth was impressively thicker than your wrist and length longer than what you’ve seen in videos, this guy was above average. But before you could try to touch him, Zayne coughs up to get your attention.
You question him in your eyes and he blushes, struggling to get his words out.
“I-I want to make you feel good too. Can we try that position?”
“What position?”
“...69”
Zayne bites his lip, looking at your face for any sort of disgust but none came. A smile broke out on your face before you nodded, taking the initiative to adjust your positions accordingly. Zayne was taller than you so you had to be the one on top, your body tensing as you face his leaking cock staring at you. You wanted to put your mouth on it so bad but you knew you had to wait for Zayne to adjust at your bottom.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good.” Zayne huffs out and you involuntarily clench, feeling his hot breath around your hole. You can’t help the heat that travels to your cheeks as you recognize yourself putting your ass up in the air for a man to gape at your hole. You could feel every bone in your body praying not to fuck this up.
“I’ll start,” You say, biting your lip and squinting your eyes before hurriedly starting the job. Your lips come into contact with the tip and Zayne moans, throwing his head back as you try to engulf him in your mouth. He feels you testing how your mouth glides up and down thanks to your saliva as lubricant. Zayne thinks he could burst right then and there in your mouth but he tries to at least save himself some dignity by not finishing through a 20-second blowjob.
He leans forward and settles his palms on your ass, squeezing the soft flesh experimentally, making you moan at his touches. His lips press outside your pussy, shying away from the main course before steeling himself with the courage of a man.
Choked moans left your mouth as Zayne suddenly parts your ass for a clear view and dives right in to fuck your hole with his tongue. He laps up like a man starved with eyes closed, executing toe-curling techniques that you didn’t know he could do.
“Nghh! Mmhphh!” You’re drooling on his dick, taking what you can of his size and pumping what you couldn’t reach. He’s too much of a big fit in your mouth, struggling to hollow your cheeks since most of your wet cavern is occupied by his cock. You could only bob your head up and down, moaning to get him feeling some vibrations, and rubbing your pussy along his lips.
On the other end, Zayne was having a very much-awaited make-out session with your cunt. He sloppily kisses your hole, circling his tongue as he tastes the softness of the flesh. His hands rubbing your ass in gentle motions causes you to clench and he groans, chasing the movement of your cunt. He does it like the boys do in those videos, he closes his eyes and imagines he’s doing a good job just like them, making their girl scream like it's the end of the world.
“So pretty” he pulls away mesmerized by your glistening cunt. Zayne couldn’t help but be addicted to your pussy, and he gives it more attention by sucking and playing around with his tongue. To hear your muffled cries sends vibrations down his spine, making him even more hard as your eyes widen.
You gasp for air as you fix your breathing. You wanted to complain about why he was getting bigger but you just couldn’t stop yourself from sinking deeper onto his cock. You’re positive you looked like a cockhungry slut with dick in her mouth, wiggling her ass as her man eats her out because that’s exactly what you’re doing, you could picture how dirty the position was and it makes you throb, edging you to your release.
No one was saying anything, too occupied with the job at hand as wet noises filled the room. Both of you were pushing each other at the brink of release. Zayne lightly thrusts to chase the feeling of a wet heat—challenging your gag reflex, not knowing it's your first time giving a blowjob. He suddenly hits the back of your throat as cum floods inside your mouth. You’re breathing through your nose, too full of erotic sensations, and you cum following his release. Wet spurts land on Zayne’s face as he drinks up your release, relishing in his first time making a girl cum.
You pull away from his dick, white semen landing on the bed from your mouth and Zayne’s eyes widen seeing you keeping his release inside your mouth. He thinks you probably didn’t want to swallow it so he grabs tissues, and places them below your chin.
“Spit it out”
You look at the tissue on his hand and swallow the cum, wincing as the taste hits you. You just wanted to do it like others do, swallowing because you worked hard for it. Zayne was flabbergasted to even move, his flaccid member unapologetically rising hard when he saw you swallow his seed.
It made him want to put it inside you.
“Why did you swallow?”
You wipe the excess off your face, “I just wanted to try” You hoped he didn’t catch on that it was your first time. Both of you were tired but you wanted to keep going, driven by lust. Zayne was trying to hide his erection and you decided to just get on with it, you wanted him inside right now.
“Zayne, do you want to be on top?” Your question left him surprised. He blinks for a few seconds before nodding and positioning on top of you as you lay down. Then it hits you.
“Wait, do you have a condom?”
He visibly freezes before reaching over to the bedside table, pulling out the drawer, grabbing a condom, and opening the package. While he puts it on, your eyes drift to the package and you notice the XL size and the ‘super ultra-thin’ inscription. You couldn’t help but be a little nervous after reading that.
“It’s on,” he says awkwardly, the tip of his ears reddening by the minute. At this moment, the air was thick with nervousness radiating from you and Zayne. You exchange eye contact with him as his palm rests on your hip, drawing circles to coax you and relax your walls.
“I’m ready, are you?”
“Yeah,” he kisses your lip to distract you from the pain of your cunt breached open by his thick cockhead. You wince in discomfort, legs shaking as the thickness stops moving. Zayne panics over your pained expression, whispering sweet nothings that it will pass soon because fuck, you are incredibly tight and wet. He almost moans at the sight of your hole struggling to take all of him.
You look down and let your head fall back onto his soft pillow. “Move”, you let out breathlessly.
“I’m too big for you, you need to adjust”
“Zayne, just move! Let me adjust when you’re inside me” You whine, wanting to have him inside you as soon as possible. Zayne complies and pushes in slowly, all his worries about med school and sex are completely gone when he buries himself to the hilt. You moan in unison, the stretch being painfully good for your first time.
It was the kind of pain that you’d willingly take because the pleasure was too much to lose out on. He stretches you out nicely, feeling every vein inside you, especially the tip that kisses your g spot. How did he find it in one go?
“You're so tight!—Shit” Zayne picks up on his space, letting his dick rub inside you before starting to thrust full-on. His hips smoothly roll as he pistons his cock in and out of your hole. Your wetness and the condom's lubricant make him move easily inside.
“Ohhh! Zayne!” You jolt towards the headboard as his grunts fill the room, his cockhead repeatedly locking in on your sweet spot, making you clench in response. His hair falls over his face, masquerading on his eyes as his hips put in the work for your pussy. He looks so pretty like that, flushed red, breathless, as he stuffs you repeatedly with his cock.
“Ahhhh, so big~” You could only moan and clench around his member, the movements making your boobs jiggle, and Zayne couldn't help but grope one of them—giving attention to the other by going down on his mouth. You just looked so pretty under him, so messy and good at taking his cock.
“My pretty girl” he huffs while bucking his hips into you.
Then he remembers that you probably had sex before him, and you have experienced other guys. And something deep within him tears its ugly head. Zayne suddenly had a primal urge to claim you, to make sure from now on, you're showing this lewd face to him and only him.
He was jealous and it wasn't a good feeling.
He pounds his cock faster, pouring all the anger he has into vigor. You scratch his back as Zayne goes feral at a fast pace fucking his cock back into your hole. You thrash in his arms from the pleasure, wanting to run away because the dick was too good. But his strong arms cage you in place as he ruts like an animal in heat.
His hand suddenly flicks on your clit, pinching the bud to edge you closer to your orgasm. He wanted to make you finish first, to feel your cum coating his length before he releases.
Your nerves were set on fire just as you think your brain is fried from too much dick. You wanted nothing but to cum and release the knot forming on your lower abdomen. He pumps exactly at a target in a frenzied state, balls swinging against your skin. Zayne continued to grunt, letting out the manliest sounds you've ever heard.
“Z-zayne I'm Cumming—Hahhh!!!” You scream as your eyes roll to the back of your head, cunt spasming and dripping around his girth, body shivering from how hard it was. You feel like floating on cloud nine as Zayne leans down to kiss your neck, leaving hickeys in his wake.
“That's a good girl. Now take this.”
His pace gradually falters and he slides in one last powerful thrust before exploding his cum and flooding the condom. You cried out as he did small jerks of his hips to ride out his high while cumming buckets. You fear some cum may have slipped out but you didn't care to voice it out.
Zayne learned that it wasn't good to make you oversensitive so as soon as he finished, he took out his softening cock and watched your abused cunt close. He thinks It might have been his favorite sight.
The night ends with you receiving aftercare, drinking water, and cleaning up in the bathroom to make yourselves clean for bed. You didn't even know Zayne changed the sheets, which explains why he left the tub faster.
But as you lay in his bed with his arms wrapped around you, there wasn't any semblance of reprieve because of your anxiousness about the arrangement.
Sooner or later he would find out and everything would come crashing down. You'd go back to your own life, paying expenses thanks to the money you received while Zayne would also go on and continue to med school, fuck a few girls since he already had a taste with a girl who duped him for money.
Just thinking about that brings tears to your eyes. No, you don't wanna be separated from Zayne. You wanted whatever you had with him despite having no label.
You tried to tell him the truth a few times but fear got the better of you and you find yourself backtracking, saying something else, and laughing it off. Every moment was precious with Zayne, you couldn't cut his smiles short—it would break your heart to wipe off the soft love on his face.
So you did nothing but let time run its course.
Zayne soon expressed his want for you to meet his family. He feels like he's known you for a lifetime despite meeting just that summer. So you took his offer and had lunch with his parents who tried their best to act as if they first saw you that day. The food was delicious yet the whole dining experience was painful. You and his parents lying to his face made you unable to stomach the food very well. So you left the house and went to their garden, gazing at the flowers that you knew Zayne himself planted.
He was looking around for you, sighing since you didn’t tell him where you ran off. He was about to ask his parents in the dining room when he accidentally eavesdropped on a conversation that made him stop in his tracks.
“Well that was awkward, can you believe our son actually fell in love with her? I mean, she’s pretty skilled”
He wasn’t supposed to hear that.
“This isn’t what I was expecting when we hired her. I think we need to end this arrangement soon. I’ll give her the money before this situation blows up.”
He couldn’t fucking believe it.
Skilled? Hired? Money? It didn’t take an intelligent man to connect the dots as the conversation went on. Every word that came out of their mouth froze his heart and shattered it like glass. Anger, hurt, and confusion overwhelmed him for the first time in his life. He found it hard to stabilize his breathing. He couldn’t help but let hatred cover his eyes as he stormed into the dining room.
“Is what you’re saying true? You hired a girl to seduce me?” he demanded, voice shaking with emotion as his parents looked very much terrified to see him there. He didn’t want to believe it was true, but as the seconds went by it was all becoming clear that this was a big fat farce all along. Zayne didn’t know what hurt but he knew he’d been played by the people he loved. And that was all it took for him to break his promise of never raising his voice at his parents.
“Is it true?!” he roared and to see his mother flinch hurt him but at that moment, Zayne was the victim.
“Zayne, darling let me explain—”
“Why?”
His mother breathed out. “We thought it would be good for you. We wanted to let you have some fun since I feel like you’re constantly buried in books! You need to take some time to socialize too!”
He could only pinch the bridge of his nose as he steeled his mouth in case he said something he could not go back on.
“This conversation isn’t over yet” he uttered coldly, leaving his parents guiltily mulling over their actions.
Overcome by the need to confront you, he walks in long strides to the garden. He honestly does not know what he wants to hear from you. Apologies? Explanation? He doesn’t know but his feet take him to you and destroy your peaceful moment.
He sees your figure basking in rays of afternoon sun, checking on the flowers he planted. He stops and stares before storming and grabbing your wrist to make you face him. You meet his face in shock, body tensing from the dangerous aura he was emitting. His hazel eyes were swirling with hurt and you knew it was that time. Zayne knew how much you were playing him like a fool.
“Is it true?" he pants “That my parents hired you to seduce me for the summer? So that I could get with a girl and have some fun?”
Tears flowed from your eyes as you nodded shakily, accepting your fate. He was disgusted by how easily you admitted it. Was it that easy for you?
“I want to hear it from you. Speak before I kick you out” he spat out with so much venom that it wrecked sobs from you. Zayne hated hearing you cry just as he hated how this was such a cruel game you played.
“Zayne, it was all real. I swear! My feelings are real. It’s true that I accepted a deal with your parents for money but you have to know that I needed it!” You feel like ripping your hair out just to make him believe you. You were so desperate to not be a villain in his eyes. “And what I feel for you is real! I love you and I’m so sorry that I did this to you.” You sobbed, holding your face in your hands as you wiped the overflowing tears that clouded your vision.
You took a step forward and he took a step back, reflecting the hurt in your eyes.
“How do I believe you now? How do I know this is still not an act?”
“I don’t know…” You shook your head, mind at a loss for words. “I just know that it would kill me to be separated from you.”
Zayne could hear the desperation in your voice and it was constantly stabbing at his heart. He longed to believe and touch you, but the pain of deception stung deep.
He took a deep breath and calmed himself. “Who are you? Do you have any other name?”
You whip your head in shock, shaking your head frantically. “No! (y/n) is my real name! Everything I told you is real!”
He stood frozen so you took your chance to explain, fighting the cries that shook your body.
“I love you. I-I wanted to give my body to the guy I love and it’s you. It was my first time having sex with you! I’m not some vixen who sleeps around. I’m just me!—a college student in need of money. Believe me, I beg you.”
It honestly didn’t matter to him if the girl he loved had his first time with him or not, he loved her regardless. But when you say it like that, he knew that trusting him with your virginity must have meant a great deal to you. That almost made him want to hug you but the rational part of his mind begged him to have some dignity.
“You broke my trust” he exhaled, barely above a whisper. “You have no idea how much pain I’m feeling. But I love you��and it would kill me if you weren’t around.”
You take a step forward and grasp his hand to place on top of your heart, making him feel how much it beats for him.
He’s entranced to feel your racing heart, a testament to your love. This gesture was enough to repair a piece of his shattered heart.
He uses your interlocked hands to pull you into his arms, burying your face on his chest. You snuggled close as warm tears fell slowly on your cheeks.
“I don’t wanna leave” you cried softly.
“You’re not leaving until you make me trust you again. And if I trust you again, I won’t let you leave.”
You nod and ask, “What do you want me to do?”
Zayne cleared his thoughts even if his emotions were a mess. But he was an intelligent and rational man, he was able to think clearly in times of distress and he knew what needed to be done. He knows how you’ll pay for your sins.
“From now on, I want you to be honest with me. No lies or secrets between us. Tell me everything you feel because I want your full transparency.”
It was a light sentence and you were eternally grateful to the forgiveness he showed you. Because you'd die if he didn’t.
“I will. So let’s start on a clean slate please.” you grip his shirt, signaling him your desperation. “I’ll be that girl you met in the park. And you have to believe me when I say I loved you every step of the way. I-I won’t even take the money if it means proving my feelings are real.”
Zayne shook his head as he caressed your hair. ‘Take the money and promise me you won’t leave me. Don’t put yourself in a situation like this just for some money. If you need some, then ask me.”
“What?”
“If you need support I’ll be there to help you in any way I can. All I ask is for you to do the same for me.”
“Of course I will!” Your voice came out louder than intended and he smiled, yet not like he used to.
“But you’ll move to Harvard soon for med school? How-how are we going to do this?”
Zayne’s face fell at the mention of his move at the end of his vacation. He hadn’t forgotten but it was a reminder that summer was nearing its end. He had to settle all affairs before treading on a new chapter in his life.
He sighed, arms still around you. “Long distance isn’t easy, and I don’t know how we’ll do it.”
Fear crept into you like a snake dampening your mood.
“But,” he continued with a promising tone. “I’m not giving up on us. I won’t let a little distance come between us. We’ll make it work.”
‘We’ll make it”
“We will”
He whispers in your ears, kissing the top of your head, and bathing himself with the love that he receives from you.
You feared a second chance wouldn’t last long but if anything were the testament to your unbreakable bond with Dr. Zayne, it would be the family photo with you and the kids, standing nicely on his office desk.
#love and deepspace smut#love and deepspace x reader#lnd zayne#lnd x reader#zayne#zayne x reader#zayne x you#zayne smut#zayne x reader smut#zayne fluff#zayne x mc#love and deepspace x you#lads x reader#lads x you#l&ds x you#l&ds smut#l&ds x reader#l&ds zayne#zayne l&ds#love and deepspace zayne#idk what i just wrote and i absolutely do not want to proofread unless its grammar check
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This Week in BL - It's odd rn but VERY PRETTY
Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
Oct 2024 Week 1
Ongoing Series - Thai
Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 4 of 12 - I love Joke so much! And I love War in this role so much. It’s great. This is a great show it’s such fun. The comedy is somewhat leaving me flat. But that’s normal for me in this kind of Thai BL. I also like Hope. I shouldn’t, but I do. I love the little girl character as well, and I do believe that Joke has found his scion in her.
(As per usual the grandma of this BL speaks for all of us.)
Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 5 of 12 - Coils be coiling. Mummy dearest is v hot. I do like the twist on the henchmen. It would’ve been really gut-wrenching if Q had put the rope around his own wrist the night that he slept by himself (or tried to). And they have now made "the promise that is destined to be broken" waves at trope. Meanwhile, great flirting. Next week being episode six we should be getting our kiss.
(Was GMMTV gently poking at Jack & Joker with that play-within-a-play reference to Jack as Min's stunt part?)
Fourever You (Thai Thurs YT) ep 1 of 16 - Sampler pack university BL from Wabi Sabi that's trying to be a gay Boys Over Flowers (4 older med student hot boys + frosh) and it’s exactly what I want right now. Is it good? No, not really. Do I care? Not at all. It is, in fact, boys over flowers... only boys no flowers. I really couldn’t want anything more than that. What can I say? I’m easy. I love a pining seme. I guess what I am saying is, I am trash for trash. Inject this shit directly into my eyeballs.
Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 3 of 15 - At least in this version they talk bit more with each other about what’s going on. (Then again in the original we didn't need it, the acting was so good.) Still it’s a lot more modern to see representation of communication, but but the previous version felt more honest to teen behavior. This open communication entirely changes the push pull dynamic of Phun & Noh's whole relationship. I actually LIKE that change because it makes it very different from the original. I’ve been hoping that this one would veer in a different direction. I'm enjoying that they've made it Phun with the long term crush, and that he’s sort of testing himself with heterosexuality. It is selfish, but it is also a very rich kid thing to do. I love the shouted confessions and the decision to not date. This is a really good twist on the original. I’m liking this a hell of a lot more now that it’s substantially changed in direction, if not in tone.
Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) ep 11 of 12 - It’s very sweet and wholesome. And everyone kisses pretty. And I do like the communication and green flag aspects of this show. But I'm also finding it a touch dull.
Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 9 of 12 - I don’t know. The pretending to be blind thing is weird. This whole show is weird. I’m kinda weirded out by it. I like the two side couples well enough, but we get barely any time with them at all.
I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 12 fin - I like that they did come around to the dreaming thing as a major plot point in the end. Even though it felt like they forgot about it in the middle. And I liked that it was an inherited family trait. I didn’t expect that (should have, but I didn't). And I thought it suited this kind of drama, even if it was a little pat. The whole family helping at the very end was very sweet and a nice full circle for the narrative. (Like the Ae's family sort of adopting the next-door kids originally.
Summation
A cute friends to lovers romance, that’s a little bit like the stepbrothers trope since these two grow up next-door to each other and in and out of each other’s lives. The paranormal element is about prophetic dreams, and it is threaded through the narrative even if it gets somewhat lost in the muddy middle. All in all, a sweet fun little series with decent chemistry. 8/10
Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 8 of 10 - I've totally forgotten what’s going on. There was another kidnapping. Maybe they’re actually dating now? I don’t know. Honestly, it won’t really matter cause everything will change by the end of this episode... again. That said, I did love the parental confrontation sequence. It’s not as good as in the original because it’s a lot more direct and modernized, but it was pleasingly aggressive. Which I weirdly appreciated for the military angle. The cross-dressing thing was odd. The dolls advertising thing is even odder. Jealous baby on sports day was good though.
Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - Why did I feel like I’ve seen this entire episode already. It’s just different characters saying the same thing to the main characters or flirting the same way or whatever.
Live in Love (Sun Gaga) ep 5 fin - I did not like this ep at all. Fully half of it was evil backstabbing and some bullying and some sort of trying to engender sympathy for a friendship betrayal. And I was not on board. (Wouldn’t mind seen Hali and that cute kid in something together tho.)
Conclusion
Basically this was a story about online relationships and how they interface with the real world, and in personal friendships, plus bullying of all types and some backstabbing and shipping. The acting was weak, the sound was terrible, and generally it was an old style pulp offering. It tried to deal with some interesting issues, but was awfully clumsy about it. 5/10
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 9 fin - Such a great confession, so truthful and earnest and honest. And he’s also like that with his friends. And such a nice answer. I love that during the cool off they both realize how very much they both act like are boyfriends to each other all the time. Ooo running of the gays! And we even got a cute little smile kiss!!!! and an adorable boyfriend montage at the end. How unexpectedly satisfying of you, Japan!
Summation
This is a phenomenally charming and adorable little romance about a forlorn university kid and the police officer who adopts him. They are relentlessly kind to each other, in fact it’s an extremely kindly show over all (everyone in it is so nice to everyone else including us) so there’s very little tension. But what it lacks in drive and complexity it makes up for in earnest acts of service and simple affection. These two are basically boyfriends from the get-go, it’s just one of them acts like it and doesn’t realize it and the other one realizes it and has to figure out how to make it a reality. It’s incredibly sweet and incredibly wholesome, nourishing but delicious. Everybody who can should watch this show. It will make you feel better about life.
Easy 9/10 on this one from me.
GO WATCH IT
Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 2 of ? - We have some semblance of a plot! Yay! Our BV tsundere character is secretly an online judge who whistleblows and exposes corruption in the school system. How very Pump Up the Volume. I am not mad about it. Also 2 of the prettiest seme bullies EVER. The epic pout-off with these bad boys. Be still my heart.
Our Golden Times (Hong Knong ??? YT) 1-4 of ? - Billed as a BL from Hong Kong I’m not sure we can trust this one to a get finished or be cohesive or have an HEA. But the optics are good. Everybody’s very pretty. It’s chaotic and clumsy and a little odd. But most of the stuff on my dash is these days, so what the hell? And ya know what, I kinda like it.
Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 4 of 10 eps - It remains entertaining but off kilter in that way that indicates 50% chance of ultimate dissatisfaction in the JBL pantheon.
First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) ep 9 of 12 - I wish we knew a little bit more about Sea's background/family. Neil should just tell him what the hell is going on. Why wouldn’t he? Instead they artificially wedged the main couple apart for most of this episode and Orca wasn’t there at all? = Not a good episode IMHO.
It's airing but...
My Damn Business (Korea Sat ????) 7 eps - supposedly airing on Saturdays starting 10/5 have no roleand I found the trailer but nothing else.
The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai being converted into a café. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.
Next Week Looks Like This:
Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.
Coming Oct 2024:
10/7 Every You Every Me (Thai Mon Gaga) 10 eps - Jade and Chin have lived over a thousand lifetimes. In each one they somehow manage to fall in love with each other. (This pair, TopMick was piloted in a My Universe ep, that was one of the only ones I liked.)
10/10 Eccentric Romance (Korea Thurs Viki & Gaga) 12 eps - Silkwood’s 2nd Thai/Korean colab, that has been in production since 2022 which is a LONG time in the BL world. I'm worried but I like the concept: friends of 10 years who’ve been hiding feelings for each other enter the same university. Plus MURDER.
10/10 Gangster and His Boyfriend (Korea Thurs ????) 8 eps? - Kim Dong Bin (famous trainee & idol reality competitor, yeah that happens) stars as a fallen idol who unexpectedly becomes entangled in a gangster family. Discovers that his friend’s father is responsible for the murder of his entire family years ago. I don't know much about this one, neither does anyone else and I'm not sure where I got that release date so……
10/21 Love in the Big City (Korea ????) 8 eps - Okay both a movie (already out) and a series. Neither one is likely BL and I can't imagine it will end happily. I'm giving both a pass but here's your synopsis.
Cynical fun loving student Young pinballs from home, to class, to on night stands. He and Jaehee, his female besie and roommate, frequent nearby bars where they push away their worries about life, love, and money with soju and hookups.
10/23 See Your Love (Taiwan Gaga Viki) 10 eps? - Zi Xiong, a third-generation heir, attempting to flee from taking over their family business, meets and falls in love with Shao Peng, who works as a hearing-impaired nurse. From the same production house as Kiseki Dear To Me in partnership with Shinehouse Theatre, funded by Taiwan’s BIGART + Japan's Rakuten (Viki). Show includes Lin Chia Yo (Be Loved in House: I Do). Director Chiang Ping Chen’s childhood experiences with his deaf uncle have inspired the drama.
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
I kinda love it when someone else does the prophetic claiming. Our Golden Times
Crumbs in Summer Nights but they very cute crumbs. We didn't even really get to see them get together but I'm glad that they are.
(Last week)
Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.
The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs
Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.
#this week in BL#BL updates#Jack & Joker#Jack and Joker#Addicted Heroin#fourever you#Battle of the Writers#Monster Next Door#Sugar Dog Life#I Saw You in My Dream#First Note of Love#Teenage Judge#Live in Love#Kidnap the series#Love Sick 2024#Bad Guy My Boss#Fourever You#Every You Every Me#upcoming BL#BL news#BL reviews#BL gossip#Thai BL#Vietnamese BL#Japanese BL#live action yaoi#Koren BL#BL starting soon#BL coming soon#new BL
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wait it’s just 9 the dispo is open….
i’m feining so bad bro i’m ab to go ask my 30 yr old crackhead neighbour to loan me a spliff
#U HAVE TO HEAL#i’m alr pretty healed tbh my throat doesn’t hurt it’s just kinda tight#WELL IF U SMOKE ITLL GET WORSE#yeah but like i’m thugging everything is already worse yk#ITLL TAKE LONGER TO HEAL#u don’t know that#DUDE YOURE A MED STUDENT YOU KNOW IT DOES💀#ugh yeah whatever. but idw wait till im fully better omg#OK COMPROMISE?#yes if my throat isn’t sore i’ll ball up whether im still ill or not#THATS NOT A V GOOD DEAL#omg the only real concern is the smoke making my irritated airways worse if it’s better i can smoke again the runny nose nd cough dsnt matte#OK FINE DEAL#alr bet this sore throat better b gone by tmr#sorry guys that’s good pogasm he cares too much ab my health🙄
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The Babysitter
Summary: Jared convinces Jensen to go to a bar and have a little fun, but it’s not until he’s driving the babysitter home that he gets the kind of fun he didn’t even know he wanted.
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Female Reader
Rating: 18+ Only
Bingo Square: Hot Babysitter for @j3bingo
Warnings: flirting, age gap (20/41), pwp, daddy kink, praise kink, smut, oral sex (m rec), fingering, p in v.
Word Count: 2.4k
A/N: I hope you enjoy this filth! 😘💖
My Masterlist AO3 Ko-Fi
“Come on, man!” Jared encouraged. “It’s been a year since your divorce. You gotta get back out there.”
“I’m not ready to date, Jar. I told you that. My focus is on my kids right now,” Jensen huffed, having lost count of how many times Jared had tried to get him to start dating.
“Hey, I didn’t say anything about dating,” Jared chuckled. “I’m talking about going out to a bar, having a few drinks, maybe taking a girl home for some fun. We could go out tomorrow? I’ll be your wingman, just like old times.”
“And where am I supposed to find a babysitter with such short notice, huh? Gen’s away, so it’s not like we can ask her,” Jensen retorted.
“I’ll ask Y/N,” Jared shrugged. “Gen and I trust her completely. She’s a med student and has been watching our kids for a couple of years now.”
“I don’t know, man,” Jensen groaned.
“She’s not a complete stranger to your kids either, you know. Y/N’s watched them before, too,” Jared continued, not taking notice of his friend’s reluctance. “Come on, even if it doesn’t end in a good time between the sheets with a hot girl—which I am all for, FYI, because, dude, how long has it been?—we can at least go out, have a few beers, watch a football game. What d’ya say?”
“It has been a long time since that. And even longer since I went to a bar to watch a game,” Jensen agreed. “And the Cowboys are playing. Yeah, alright, let’s do it.”
“Yeah?” Jared grinned.
“Yeah. Call Y/N and see if she’s free and doesn’t mind a couple of extra kids for the night.”
While driving to Jared’s, Jensen couldn’t help but feel excited for their night ahead. It had been so long since he’d taken any time to himself. He’d been so focused on his kids and work since the divorce and had fooled himself into thinking he was happy. He deserved to have a little fun. He still had a lot of life to live and a lot of love to give, and although he wasn’t looking to date quite yet, if someone caught his eye tonight, maybe he’d get lucky.
Jensen pulled up in the driveway, got himself and the kids out of the car, and went up to the house. With their families so close, the kids opened the Padalecki’s front door and ran straight into the house.
Chuckling, Jensen walked in after them and closed the door behind him. As he made his way down the hallway, a laugh as sweet as honey reached his ears, and he found himself straightening his posture and puffing his chest slightly.
“Hey, man,” Jared said as he walked into the kitchen, where a woman with Y/H/C hair had her back to him. “This is Y/N,” his friend continued, and when she turned around and smiled at him, Jensen’s heart skipped a beat, and everything else Jared said was lost in this stunning woman’s haze.
Y/N was hot and way out of his league, and not just because he was old enough to be her father. She was gorgeous with her big doe eyes, beautiful smile, curves in all the right places—
“Jay? You with me, man?” Jared’s voice pulls him away from his stupor and back to the two people in the room: Jared, with a concerned frown on his brow and Y/N, smirking softly at him and gently chewing on her bottom lip.
“Uh, yeah, sorry. Just trying to remember if I locked the door when I left,” Jensen lied.
“Okay,” Jared said, not sounding entirely convinced but seemingly letting it go. “Ready to go?”
“Sure. Thanks for this, Y/N. I appreciate you taking on another two kids for the night,” Jensen said, finally getting something out to the girl.
“It’s my pleasure,” Y/N smiled softly, and he swore he saw a little bit of flirtatiousness in her eyes.
“Thanks, man. I think this is just what I needed,” Jensen said as he and Jared got into the car to drive home. “It’s been so long since we just grabbed a beer and some wings.”
“It has,” Jared agreed. “It was nice to have my buddy back, but I gotta ask, no interest in any of the women in there? At least five had their eyes on you, man, and some of them were gorgeous.”
“I don’t think I’m ready for that, but when I am, you’ll be the first to know.” It wasn’t entirely true. If Y/N were older, he’d definitely try and hit that, but he was far too old for her, and there was no chance she’d want to have sex with an old man.
They settled into a quiet ride back to Jared’s house, filled with light conversation on their plans for a day at the lake with the kids tomorrow.
Pulling into Jared’s drive for the second time that day, both men exited the vehicle and headed into the house and through to the living room.
Jensen stopped in the doorway, noticing that Y/N was watching a movie, her hair pulled back in a messy knot on top of her head, teasing him with her bare, unblemished neck that he wanted to cover in his marks.
He needed to get a grip of himself. And he definitely needed to dig out his favourite porn videos and carve out a little time to take care of himself because this was ridiculous. Y/N was hot; there was no doubting that, but his fascination with her had to be because of his lack of sexual release.
“Hey,” Y/N said when she saw them. “The kids are fine. They’re all asleep in the tent we put up in the playroom.”
“Great, thanks, Y/N. They didn’t give you any trouble?” Jared checked.
“None. They were perfect, as always,” Y/N smiled as she put on her jacket, threw her backpack over her shoulder, and tucked the cash Jared had given her for babysitting into her pocket.
“Thanks again. I appreciate you coming out at short notice and giving up your weekend,” Jared smiled at the young woman.
“They’re good kids, so it’s no problem. Plus, I managed to get some studying done without my roommates being too loud,” she giggled.
“I appreciate it all the same,” Jared nodded. “Hey, man,” he added, turning his attention to Jensen. “Why don’t you leave the kids here for the night? They’re sleeping comfortably, and you’ll be over for breakfast anyway, right?”
“You sure?” Jensen checked.
“Yeah,” Jared confirmed. “No point in waking and upsetting them when they’ll be coming back here anyway.”
“Alright, thanks, Jared,” Jensen said as he slapped his friend on the back, his mind already drifting to those porn videos. “Y/N, do you need a ride home? I didn’t see a car out there, and it’s the least I can do.”
“Sure. Thank you, Jensen,” Y/N replied, a shy smirk pulling at lips.
“How was your night?” Y/N asked as they climbed into his car.
“Good. It’s been a while since I just went for a beer with a friend,” Jensen replied.
“So it was just a drink with a friend? No ladies on your radar? Jared made it sound like you were out on the prowl, and he needed to be your wingman!” Y/N grinned at him.
“Uh, there were a few pretty girls, sure, but I’m not looking for that right now.”
“That’s a shame. I would’ve done anything to get a handsome guy like you to go home with me,” Y/N grinned wider, giggling when his head snapped towards her with his eyebrows practically hitting his hairline.
“Sweetheart, I’m old enough to be your dad!” Jensen spluttered.
“I don’t mind older men. In fact, I prefer them… Daddy,” Y/N looked at him and batted her lashes.
“Fuck, Y/N,” Jensen gasped. He couldn’t believe she wanted him. “We can’t.” It was a weak attempt, but he needed to at least look like he was trying to turn down his best friend’s hot babysitter.
“But why, Daddy? Don’t you want me? Was I a bad girl?” she pouted and slid her hand into his lap, palming his hard cock through his denims.
“Shit! We’re really doing this?” Jensen groaned when she squeezed his erection, and she nodded her head.
“If you want to,” Y/N said, dropping her act. “If not, you can drive me home, and we’ll pretend this never happened. But if you want me, I’m yours.”
Jensen was speechless. An incredibly attractive twenty-year-old woman was in his car, calling him Daddy, making his dick harder than it had ever been, and offering herself to him on a platter. He must’ve died and gone to heaven.
“I want you, Y/N. Fuck, I’d be crazy not to. You’re fucking perfect,” Jensen said, looking into her eyes and making sure she heard him. He chuckled when her face lit up at his praise, noting that not only did this girl have a daddy kink, which he’d happily indulge her with, but a praise kink, too.
“Then let’s go home, Daddy.”
“That’s my good girl,” Jensen praised, watching Y/N undo his belt and pants and pull his stiff cock from his boxers. “Open up, sweetheart, let Daddy in.”
Y/N’s mouth fell open, and he groaned at the sight. “That’s it, baby girl,” he praised again, pushing himself between her plump lips.
Jensen moaned deep and long as she timidly closed her lips around him and sucked, gently rubbing her tongue over his leaking slit.
“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re so good at that. You love sucking daddy’s cock, huh?” Jensen groaned when she nodded. “Yeah, I know you do, baby girl. Come on, I know you can take more than that.”
Y/N moaned around him, taking more of his cock down her throat, gagging on his length.
“Fuck, yeah, baby girl. Just like that. So good for your daddy, huh? Are you Daddy’s good little girl?” Jensen grunted as he pushed a little deeper.
“Yes, Daddy,” she gasped as he pulled himself from her throat and grabbed her chin, squeezing gently and running his fingers over her spit-slick lips.
“Do you need Daddy to help you undress, or are you a big girl that can do it herself?”
“I can do it, Daddy,” Y/N said as she quickly stripped out of her clothes.
Jensen groaned as his hands skimmed over her perfect, perky breasts and down her taut stomach. “You’re so perfect, baby girl. Daddy loves this beautiful body,” Jensen rasped. “Get up on the bed, sweetheart, and spread those pretty little legs. Let Daddy get a good look at you.”
Y/N climbed on his bed and crawled towards the headboard. Laying down, she spread her legs wide and smirked at Jensen’s deep groan.
“Good girl,” he praised as he crawled up the bed, caressed his hands over her thighs, pushed them apart and lowered his head to her hot, wet centre. “Fucking delicious,” he groaned, licking from the bottom of her slit to the top.
Pushing through her folds, he moaned when her slick pooled on his tongue, and he quickly lapped it up, licking and sucking and thrusting his wet muscle into her tight, dripping hole.
He moved to her clit, licking and sucking on the tiny bud while his fingers toyed with her entrance, circling it gently before slipping one inside.
“So fucking tight, baby girl,” Jensen grunted against her clit. “Gonna need to loosen you up before you can take Daddy’s big cock in your tight little pussy.” He added another finger and curled them upwards, rubbing against her sweet spot over and over.
“Daddy!” Y/N gasped, grinding her hips down on his fingers desperately.
“What is it, baby?” Jensen asked, looking up between her legs and seeing her desperate little pout. “Is Daddy making you feel good?”
“Yes! More, Daddy, please!” she begged.
“Oh, you sound so pretty when you beg, baby girl, and you know Daddy can’t resist when you beg.” He pulled his fingers from her and sucked her juices from them with a hum before crawling up her body and caging her beneath him.
“Please!” she mumbled again, and Jensen couldn’t hold back any longer.
“Alright, since my little princess begged so prettily, she can have Daddy’s cock in her sweet, tight, perfect little pussy,” Jensen growled and pushed his hips forward.
Y/N’s brow furrowed in pleasure with every inch he pushed inside her. When his hips met hers, and he couldn’t go any further, he groaned deeply at the feel of her tight cunt, stretching and fluttering to accommodate his intrusion.
“Fuck!” Jensen roared. “You feel so good, baby girl. So fucking tight and perfect for Daddy, fuck!” He pulled back his hips and slammed forward again, placing his hand on her stomach and pushing down gently, groaning lowly as he felt himself move inside her.
Y/N’s eyes rolled back, and her hips moved with his. “Fuck, Daddy! You’re so big. Feel so good, so full,” she moaned.
“Yeah? That’s because this little pussy was made just for me, sweetheart.” He’d never felt a pussy so good, and the daddy roleplaying they were doing made everything ten times hotter. “Who owns this sweet little pussy, baby girl?”
“You do, Daddy,” Y/N whined.
“That’s right, Daddy owns it. It’s mine,” he grunted with every jerk of his hips, and when Y/N’s orgasm hit, Jensen stalled his movements, holding himself inside her as her tight walls squeezed and pulsed around his cock.
“Fuck, baby girl! You feel so fucking good. I’m gonna come, sweetheart. You want Daddy’s come, huh?” Jensen chuckled as Y/N nodded desperately.
“Yeah? Where do you want Daddy to come?” he gasped, pulling his hips back and pounding roughly into her still-quivering heat.
“Inside me, Daddy, please! I need it!” Y/N whined. Jensen groaned loudly, pushing himself as far in as he could, and came hard, resting against her cervix.
“Fuck, Y/N,” he gasped when he finally regained his senses and pulled his spent and softening cock from her satiated hole. “That was hot, sweetheart, and something I’d be up for more of with you.”
“It was,” she agreed with a giggle. “Unexpected, but hot, and something I definitely want to do with you again.”
Tags: @akshi8278 @ashbatz @candy-coated-misery0731 @chriszgirl92 @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @deansbbyx @deanwanddamons @duncanhillscoffeecups @foxyjwls007 @giggles1026 @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @hoboal87 @impala67rollingthroughtown @iprobablyshipit91 @jackles010378 @jamerlynn @jc-winchester @k-slla @kazsrm67 @kmc1989 @lacilou @ladysparkles78 @leigh70 @lyarr24 @maliburenee @michecolegate @mrsjenniferwinchester @nancymcl @negans-lucille-tblr @perpetualabsurdity @roseblue373 @sandlee44 @sexyvixen7 @snackles87 @spnwoman @stixnstripesworld @stoneyggirl2 @suckitands33 @synmorite @tristanrosspada-ackles @twinkleinadiamondsky @waters-2567 @winchestergirl1720
#j3bingo#the babysitter#jensen ackles x female!reader#jensen ackles x reader#jensen x reader#jensen ackles smut
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You Don't Know Me
Gojo x F! Reader
You're just some hot bimbo who needs help with their advanced college classes right?
Context: Cussing. Misunderstanding. Typical Gojo Behavior. College AU. No curse.
next
Today was the beginning of your sophomore year of college. You would probably be more excited about this if you weren’t lost, again. Your newfound friend, Shoko Ieiri, just showed you how to get to all your classes this semester. The two of you became fast friends over the summer since you were both pre-med and had taken the same summer classes. You found her hilarious and cool, and she enjoyed your positive and calm personality. Just last week, she showed you around all the buildings you were supposed to be at for your classes because if there is one thing people can say about you is that you are directionally challenged. No matter what it seemed that you were always getting lost, that’s even how you initially met Shoko because you were lost and luckily, she was going to the same classroom as you.
Reluctantly, you reach into your pocket pulling out your phone and hitting her contact.
“You’re lost, aren’t you?” She didn’t even bother with the pleasantries and got straight to business.
“No!” You started and you could hear her try not to laugh at you on the other end of the line, “It’s just that I wanted to make sure that I knew exactly where the building was at, ya know, a second opinion some may say.”
“Hmmn, a second opinion? Alright,” She takes a drag of her cigarette. Who the hell starts smoking before 8 am? “Where are you right now?”
You look around at any landmark you could use to give her your location, “By the dining hall.”
She sighed, and you knew you weren’t even close to the right building “You need to be near the library, which is on the other side of campus.”
You groan, realizing that you’re going to be late on your first day. You hated being late, even if professors gave students a pass on the first couple of days to navigate around campus, you prided yourself on your punctuality despite your inability to figure out how to get where you are going.
“Alright. Got it. Thanks, Shoko.” You say as you begin your long walk to the other side of campus.
“Yeah yeah. We still on for lunch?”
“Yeah of course. You know I got that 11 am physics but after I’m free.”
“Cool, so around 12? Yeah? You gonna need help finding it?” She teases and you roll your eyes even if she can’t see you.
“Bye Shoko.”
“Bye,” She laughs before hanging up.
Eventually, you make your way across campus only a few minutes late, not even missing the 5-minute grace period. Even with the directions that you were given, when you enter the lecture hall you do look around a bit confused just to make sure you were in the right location.
“You look lost, pretty. I don’t think you’re in the right place.” Your eyes shift to the voice coming up behind you. Your brow furrowed because you thought you would be able to follow these basic directions Shoko gave you. You look back at your phone and your schedule just to make sure. The white-haired man in front of you scans over your body from head to toe while you look. You had a figure that a lot of women would pay for, and you weren’t shy about flaunting it. Currently, you were in a pair of low-rise jeans, thong showing of course, with a V-neck crop top that displayed multiple chest tattoos on which a letterman jacket sat on your shoulders. Your hair was in a slicked-back bun that had your coils neatly tucked away in the back, a fresh dye job of a dark purple. Every inch of visible body parts was shimmering brown from what must be some sort of body butter you used which made you smell like heaven, a mixture of cinnamon and vanilla.
He thought you were stunning and just knew a pretty girl like you couldn’t be in the same organic chemistry class he was taking. Especially with the way you looked, a girl who looks like you, like a bimbo, on top of the fact you looked absolutely lost.
You finally looked up from your phone, catching his eyes wandering your body but brushing it off because of course he was,
“No this is definitely it, I’m sure of it.” Your words did not come out as confident as you wanted them to, “This is advanced organic chem with Professor Sho right?” You bite your lip hoping that you were right so you wouldn’t have to go looking for the correct hall. His eyes widened at you in surprise when you said what class you were looking for.
“Yeah, this is it.” He says in a confused tone which makes you a bit confused, but you brush it off.
“Whew great.” You say and turn to go take a seat in the middle of the lecture hall. You were so happy you made it to the correct place. The middle was the best place for you, since you had accommodation that allowed you to record the lectures and it was best if you sat in the middle. If you sat in the back sometimes the audio would cut out on some parts and sitting too close sometimes gave feedback, so you found sitting in the middle to be the perfect spot for you.
As the professor begins his lecture, you are in your little world that you didn’t notice that boy you spoke to earlier watching you over your shoulder. Something about you intrigued him, you weren’t even paying attention, just doodling in your notebook not taking down a single note. Yeah, he wasn’t either but that’s because everything came so naturally to him that he would be fine regardless. On top of the fact that you didn’t even attempt to fawn over him when he spoke to you, all you cared about was whether you were in the right class or not.
After the lecture was over, you grabbed your things and stopped by the boy you met earlier to thank him again.
“Oh hey” you call to him getting his attention, he looks up at you while he’s packing his stuff. “Thanks again for letting me know I was in the right place, I’m terrible with directions. Kaneko, by the way.” You extend your hand out to him.
He smirks up at you, finally, you were going to give him the attention he just knew he deserved from you. “No problem, Gojo.” He reaches out and shakes your hand. You grin back at him. “Well, see you are. Bye” you say letting his hand go and waving to leave. Now he was left, stunned by your absence because surely you had come over to flirt with him. But no, you just wanted to thank him and then left. He was left watching your hips twitch in those too-tight jeans, gazing at the rhinestone of your thong leaving the doors of the lecture hall. Did you think you were out of his league or something? He had looks and brains, no way was he out of your league. This annoyed him to no end, and you had no clue what you even started with him.
Luckily, for you, you were able to find your next class with no problem and by that you mean you asked someone beforehand while you were getting your morning coffee, and they gave you impeccable directions. So, you were in high spirits by the time you met Shoko for lunch at the dining hall.
“Aye Meya” Shoko calls to you for you to come have a seat with her already at a table. You happily bounce your way over to her table.
“How do you always manage to look so great even when you have 8 ams?” she asks in an annoyed joking tone.
“Every morning when I wake up, I think to myself ‘What if I died right now? What kind of outfit would I want to be stuck in for the rest of my life’ that’s how I get the energy to put myself together in the morning. The last thing I want is to be an ugly ghost.”
This made Shoko almost shoot her drink out of her nose as she laughed at you.
The two of you enjoy the rest of your lunch together and then separate to continue your respective schedules. This is the routine that you two keep for about a month or so now and midterms are coming up soon. During this time, little did you know that Gojo's interest was getting more piqued on you. The two of you only said the occasional ‘hi’ when you saw each other in class but that was it. He wanted so badly to have a conversation with you, but you never seemed the least bit interested but today would hopefully be different. As you leave the lecture hall for your morning coffee Gojo stops you.
“Oh hey, what’s up Gojo?” You ask, taking your AirPod out of your ear, and smiling at him.
“I just wanted to ask if you needed a tutor or anything for the midterm coming up?” he asks nonchalantly with his hands in his pocket. Your brow furrows as you look at him confused.
“No, I think I’m good.” You giggle. Why would you need a tutor? The lowest grade you had gotten in this class so far was an A- but he didn’t know that.
“You sure? I really don’t mind.” He attempts to insist, hoping that you’ll let him.
“Yes, I’m sure. Thanks, though I guess.” You say beginning to walk away putting your AirPod back in.
“Wait” He stops you again, “Are you being tutored by someone else?”
Now you were starting to get a bit irritated but not trying to let it show because maybe he was just trying to be nice and there’s no reason to be mad about that.
“No. I’m not but again thanks for the offer. I gotta go.” You say as politely as you can, giving him a small smile as you leave making an exaggerated movement in putting your AirPod back in, in hopes he doesn’t ask again. He sighs frustrated as he watches you leave.
“There’s no way she can’t be interested in me” Gojo complains to his best friend, Geto Suguru, in their shared apartment, flopping onto his bed.
“Are you talking about the girl in organic chem class?” Geto asks kind of uninterested, focusing on his own studies since again midterms were coming up.
“Of course, no one else is worth my time. Kaneko Meya”
Geto puts his pen down after hearing him say your name, “That name sounds familiar actually.”
“Like you know her familiar?” Gojo asks shooting up from his position on the bed.
“More like, know of. Hold on horn dog, let me see something” Geto remarks as he pulls out his phone pulling up instagram to scroll trying to find what he was looking for. “Bingo.”
Gojo suddenly appears over his friend’s shoulder. It was a picture of Shoko at some type of restaurant with the caption “On a date kind of nervous <3” and Shoko was tagged in it. The original poster is none other than you, TheGirlY/N.
“She’s dating fucking Shoko?!?!” Gojo yells in despair. Geto laughs at him as he keeps scrolling. “No, she isn’t look.” He shows Gojo the comments.
ChainSmokerShoko: Meya stop saying this! This is why I can’t get a girlfriend!
TheGirlY/N: No, it’s fun and this isn’t why you can’t get a girlfriend. Love you bestie! <3
ChainSmokerShoko: REPORTED
Gojo sighs in relief when he realizes that you aren’t dating Shoko but now he had to find a way to convince Shoko on how to get to know you better. He grabs his own phone to pull up your IG and scroll through it. There were a lot of photos like the one Geto showed him that had pictures of Shoko across from you at a table with similar captions, “just having dinner with the loml’ ‘me and bae out of the town’ and each one with Shoko complaining and you laughing her off. Other pictures were of just you, cute selfies, photos of you during summer, pictures of your notes and aesthetically pleasing set ups. You took part in thirst trap Thursdays a lot it seemed. Fuck, you were absolutely gorgeous to him.
“She is definitely out of your league. No wonder she won’t let you tutor her.” Geto teases as he’s also going through your IG.
“I’m probably the hottest guy on campus, we are in the same league” He scoffs turning back to his own phone.
“Did she even ask for tutoring?”
“No but look at her, and plus all she does in class is doodle and look frustrated. AND this is advance organic chem, there’s no way she doesn’t need help.”
“You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover Satoru.”
“Yeah, whatever” Gojo says before he decides to follow you on IG.
The funny thing about it is that Geto had met you before, at a meeting with the National Honors Society. You had a GPA that was higher than his and Gojos but he wasn’t going to tell his friend that, he was going to have to learn the hard way. Especially since you were the only reason that Shoko wasn’t failing out of her pre-med classes, you saved her during the summer break and if anything, you should be tutoring Gojo.
You always took it easy on the week of the midterms to not stress yourself out in every way, you can’t retain information on a stressed brain. But Gojo knew there was no way you were going to pass the midterm so that would be his opportunity to swoop in and assist you with helping get your grade up.
Now midterms were over and as always you got in class early, already doodling on a piece of paper while you waited for class to start. You knew that you would be going over the midterm today, so you don’t have your usual setup out since there weren’t going to be any lecture notes to copy down.
“Hey Y/L”
You hear Gojos voice as he takes the seat beside you, which you find a bit strange since he always sits in the back, but you don’t mind.
“Hey Gojo” You softly smile at him as you continue your doodles. You were just doing some chibi art today, confident in your grade from the midterm.
“How did you think you did on the midterm?” He asks you to try and gauge if you were concerned or not.
“Eh I’m sure I did fine.” You shrug casually. Yes, you were confident, but it wouldn’t matter what grade you got, it just matters what you do after. You didn’t stress but you strived to be better always.
“Well, I’m sure I aced it” He says cockily grinning at you. You just nod your head at him unimpressed with his boisterousness. “How about we both look at ours the same time when they get handed back?” He comments trying to get more out of you.
You give him a small giggle that makes his eyes light up, the sound was music to his ears, “Sure, if you want to” The idea to you was silly but why the hell not.
As soon as the midterms were handed back out, both you and Gojo had yours facing down until the professor said to look over it and if you had any questions today was the day to ask, as he would be going over anything people didn’t understand.
“Alright, you ready” Gojo asks, hoping that you would beg him to tutor you once you saw his higher grade.
“Ready” You giggle at him and the two of you flip your papers over at the same time. A wide smile spreads upon your face as you see the A + plastered at the top, all the chemical compounds that you doodled repeatedly coming to being usual, you had them memorized by muscle memory. You look over at Gojos paper and see that he received a B+, which is still a great grade.
“You did good. Good job” you say earnestly smiling at him, but all Gojo heard was condescension.
“You got a better grade than me?” Gojo says more to himself than to you.
“Well I mean — “You start before he cuts you off.
“How did you get a better grade than me?” He continues and your smile drops from your face, he didn’t even let you answer before he starts ranting. “All I ever see you doing is doodling in that fucking notebook of yours. I was even trying to get to tutor you because I just knew you needed help and was going to fail.”
You were immediately taken aback, why would he say that to you? He didn’t even know you.
“What?” You question, your voice breaking a little.
He looks at you, angrily “Are you fucking the professor?”
“Excuse you?” You must have heard him wrong because there’s no way he just asked you that.
“That’s why you’re always dressed like that. You must be fucking him 'cause there’s no way you got an A + on this hard-ass midterm and did better than me.” He spits as he snatches your mid-term, comparing the answers. Your body moves on its own as you stand up, the tears threatening to escape. Your arm goes back and you punch him square in the jaw, usually, you would be against hitting someone but the rage and hurt that just came over you had your body moving on autopilot. At the sound of your fist connecting with his jaw everyone’s head turned in your direction as blood flew out of his mouth.
Your body was shaking with rage, “you do not FUCKING know me. I worked hard for that grade you condescending prick. I’m sorry that your walnut sized brain can’t comprehend someone who looks like me getting better grades than you. Get the fuck over yourself. Do not EVER speak to me again, don’t even LOOK at me again. Fuck you, you blue eyed freak.”
You grabbed everything but your notebook that had fallen when you got up to punch him and ran out of the lecture hall. You knew Shoko didn’t have a class right now, so you make your way to your shared apartment trying your best to hold back your tears until you get there. Unfortunately for you, you get lost on your way there. Fuck. You think you’re on the wrong side of campus when you quickly turn around running into someone.
“Oh Shit. I’m sorry. Excuse me.” You get out trying not to meet whoever you ran into gaze.
“Y/L?” the person asks, holding your shoulders gently. It was Geto.
“Oh, hi Geto right?.” You meet his eyes, and his face grows concerned as he nods at you. “I was just trying to get to my friend Shokos apartment, can you help me? If not that’s fine, I’m sorry to bother you. I just…. Im just… a bit lost.”
He can tell that you are on the verge of tears, you look completely lost and not just directionally, “Yeah sure, she’s a friend of mine too I know exactly where that is.”
He doesn’t ask you what’s wrong just guides you to Shokos apartment. When you get there, you immediately throw yourself into her arms and try not to cry just yet until you’re sure that Geto leaves.
“Y/N?? What happened? What’s wrong?” She asks rubbing your back, death staring at Geto.
“I didn’t do it. I just walked her here.” He says hands up in surrender.
“Yeah, I ran out of class and got lost trying to find your apartment and ran into Geto. He said you were friends, so he helped me here.” You confess into her shirt before turning to Geto, “Thank you by the way.”
“No problem,” He says awkwardly for a second before checking the many notifications that he received on his phone while walking you here.
Seven missed calls from Stupid Satoru
Text From Stupid Satoru:
I fucked up. Fucked up big time. Call me back! Please!
“I gotta go. I’ll catch you later Shoko and Kaneko.” He says giving you a sad smile before he leaves. Once the door is closed, you immediately break down into Shokos arms.
“Hey, calm down. What happened?” She questioned between your sobs.
“I punched him and then I cussed him out in front of the whole class. Now everyone’s going to think i’m some crazy monster I already have enough trouble as it is because it seems like no one ever wants to talk to me but he just made me so upset. I just did it before I could even think. Then I ran out of class and then I got lost. Luckily I bumped into Geto, I didn’t even know you were friends and he got me here.” You say feeling better after your little crying spell, wiping your tears.
“You punched someone? Who? You’re not exactly telling me what happened.” She asked, her voice full of concern.
“Remember the guy I told you about who kept insisting he tutor me?”
“Yeah, I remember. That shit was weird.”
“Well, we got our midterms back and I got an A+” you say and Shoko cuts you off with congratulations, she saw how hard you were studying for the test, you barely left your apartment for a week. “He got a B+ on his and I don’t know why he was so upset that I got better than him, but he was. He said there was no way that someone who looks like me should have gotten a better score than him, claimed I don’t pay attention in class, and that I must be sleeping with the professor to have gotten such a good grade.”
“He said what?!”
“Yeah and that’s when I punched him” You say with your head down, Shoko squishes your face with both of her hands making you look at her.
“As you should of” She says proudly, she knows you are more of the docile type especially since you actually did know how to fight, you didn’t like using your strength on others unless for self-defense.
“Do I look dumb, Shoko? I dress this way because I like too, and I know I can come off as a bimbo sometimes especially since I’m bad at directions but do I seem dumb? I don’t want people to think I’m dumb, especially not to think I sleep with professors for good grades. I try so hard, you know that, and I just have finally gotten comfortable with myself….” you trail off unable to finish your thoughts, you just felt like complete shit.
“No, you’re just hot and confident and that idiot is an idiot. I know how smart you are. Shit you’ve helped me study with your immaculate notes all summer, you’re one of the smartest people I know. Being hot doesn’t make you dumb, that’s just a stupid stereotype, and the fact that he believes that is idiotic.” She attempts to comfort you.
“But then I cursed him out, said he had the brain the size of a walnut, told him never to talk to me again, and called him a blue-eyed freak.” You confess with a sigh, you really didn’t like how mean you were even if he deserved it.
“And he deserved it… Wait you called him a what?” She blinks at you a few times, hoping and praying you aren’t talking about who she thinks you’re talking about.
“A blue-eyed freak…. I know it was mean, but he started with me first and just….” You trail off, now feeling horrible about what you said.
“No, no, I get it. I would have said worse. It’s just that…. What was his name?” She asks through gritted teeth.
“Gojo Satoru”
#smut#angst#jjk gojo#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic#jujustu kaisen#jjk smut#jjk au#gojo saturo#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#jujutsu gojo#gojo smut#jujutsu satoru#jjk satoru#satorugojo#au jjk#no curse au#college au#college jjk
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I think this perspective is mainly informed by living for the majority of my life in red states, where the touch of a democratic federal government was rarely ever felt, but here’s a tip:
We all need to stop relying on presidents to save us. I’m not saying don’t vote, I voted! I vote in every election, not just the presidential election. But look at it this way. Migrants were still being detained in border prisons along the Mexico-US border under Biden. Obama saw us through war in the Middle East. The Supreme Court overturned Roe v Wade under Biden. States have continued to restrict eligibility for Medicaid and other welfare programs. Many southern states have become essentially inhospitable to trans life. The wheel of fascism doesn’t stop turning just because someone wearing a blue tie is sitting at a fancy desk. I am not talking about whether or not it will be “worse” or “better”, whether the wheel turns slowly or quickly. I am talking about the fact that the United States government is inherently a destructive and oppressive system, and no one person can change that.
The communities we form to defend ourselves and each other from a fascist state cannot be based off of or beholden to who is in the Oval Office. Go to that pro-Palestine event, volunteer your time with local grassroots organizations that matter to you, show up to that school district meeting where they talk about transgender students. When the cops show up at your house, Kamala won’t help you. The neighbor who comes over in her pajamas and robe to back you up will. When you can’t afford your medications, and you’re ineligible for your state’s Medicaid, there is not a democratic president in that moment who will fix this for you. Maybe it’s on their docket, but for right now, you’re broke and need those meds. You’re better off knowing what phone number you need to call to have a public health worker scrounge up some vouchers and coupons for you.
If the public transportation system in your city sucks, go find out who is in charge of that and bother them about it. If you are worried about over policing in your community, find a local abolition group and see what they want to do about it. If there isn’t one, find another leftist organization and stir up interest. If you’re seeing a lot of homeless people on your way to work, find out what’s wrong with the shelters and if there’s anyone you can support who is trying to fix it.
I feel like a lot of people associate the term “mutual aid” with cashapp links. Or they think that hating the current political system is all you need to be a leftist. If you don’t connect with your community, online or in person, through one form of political action or many, you will never see the revolution you’re waiting for. You’ll never know that change, good or bad, is happening all around you if you only count it when it happens due to a new presidential administration. It’s ok to fret! I’m worried!! I’m worried about the presidency and Congress and the Supreme Court. But realistically, there’s not a ton most individuals can do about that. I cannot make my vote count toward the presidency from within my red state. But I can improve my local community by knowing what the propositions at the bottom of my ballot mean.
#kieran reaches out into the void#feeling slightly frustrated w the dash tonight gang#politics#election 2024
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Too Late to Dream ༓ jjk (m)┃ch. IV
✑ Summary: You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.
Pairing: economics professor!jungkook x fem!artist!reader
AU/Genre: angst, smut, fluff, marriage au, age gap, series
Rating: M, 18+
Word Count: 4,174
Warnings: 8-year age gap, professor-student relationship (oc was a Masters student), jungkook snaps, lots of family drama, mommy issues, oc being accommodating, fighting, pent-up issues/desires, jk has daddy issues but trying to be good hubby, jk gives oc more hope!
Now Playing: Make It Right, Tryna Be, Infinity, It Will Rain, Heaven+
A/N: this week's flashback hint–nothing like a little dilf rivalry! Also, this chapter gives more of a reason why jk is adverse to parenthood 😶 My closing notes offer some explanations. Let's go! 💞
<< ch. III ༓ ch. V >> | series masterlist
For the first 22 years of your life, you had zero partners.
Most people labeled you as being jaded, stuck up, or having too high of standards for it. But fuck it. Why couldn’t anyone accept that you weren’t about to settle down with the first interested guy just 'cause of peer pressure?
Of course, you'd likely end up with someone eventually. You have gone out on a couple of dates before. Yet they were never that promising. The men, or excuse you, boys roughly your age did nothing to woo you. They just wanted a late-night fuck at 1 a.m. or a nice, cute girl to take home to their mom.
Not that you gave a hell what others were into or anything, but you had other agendas. Getting married and birthing children before kick-starting your adult life was not in your playbook. Neither was jumping into bed with random guys every week.
So you haven't had much luck in the romance department. Good riddance to it!
What you were waiting for was a gentleman. Someone that was responsible, mature, and experienced. Bonus points if they were into the arts. But it was rare to find a suitor of such quality–who wasn't ridiculously off-limits that is. Obviously, some other strong-willed man or woman sunk their claws in before you got the chance. Drats.
4 years ago
“I can’t believe you,” your best friend giggles. “You’re going to that fancy new art exhibit downtown just to run into Dr. Kim! You’re so shameless __.”
You roll your eyes and stick your plate in the dishwasher. You’re best friend Na-Rae has been one of your closest friends since your second year of undergrad. Now into your third year of friendship, you consider her as close as a sister.
Unlike you, Na-Rae is utterly fascinated with all things STEM-related. She’s currently in med school aiming to become a surgeon, which is one of the many reasons why you and her are currently roommates.
“I’m telling you one more time, I’m not going for him. I actually want to see the paintings which should come as no surprise to you. Dr. Kim just happens to be going too.”
Na-Rae leans against the kitchen island, tongue in cheek. “If that’s what you wanna tell yourself, babe. But how, may I ask, did you know he’d be there? Are you stalking him online now?”
“Of course not. I’m not a creep Na-Rae.” You throw her a dirty look. Honestly, she really thinks you’re some obsessed fangirl. Like yes, Dr. Kim is really hot for an older guy, and the fact that he’s basically the second dean of the art department? He may or may not visit you in your dreams. Especially after studying for Dr. Jeon’s fifteen million econ exams.
Now there’s a guy who definitely knows how to stick it to you.
“Besides,” you continue. “Dr. Kim doesn’t have social media.” You don’t notice how contradictory that statement sounds until your best friend lets out a sinister cackle.
“Looked him up did you?” She hits your arm, wiggling her eyebrows tauntingly. “I knew it! I knew you were stalking him!”
“I–I am not! Stop that!” You ignore her looks, seeing it best to avoid eye contact altogether.
"Iovmererdhimalkingintheallway."
"C'mon, you know I can't understand that. You did what?"
"I over…heardhimalkingintheallway," you repeat, skirting most of the sentence again.
"For the love of might __! Why are you being so–"
"I overheard him talking in the hallway!" Once you blurt the words out you scurry out of the kitchen. "Gotta get my laundry, bye!"
"Uh-__!" Na-Rae races to catch up to you. "Explain to me how that's not being stalkerish!"
You grab your laundry basket and set it next to the dryer. "It wasn't intentional alright? I happened to be passing by at the right moment." You pop the door open, stuffing your clothes in the basket. Na-Rae casually watches you from the doorway.
"Right," she says. "Just happened to overhear Dr. Kim's whereabouts on a Friday night and just happen to be going to the same place. But definitely not planned because the dress you're currently trying to hide from me isn't meant for him to coincidentally see. Oops, my bad."
You release said dress from your hand aggressively. "Dr. Kim is at least a decade older than me and he's a high-level faculty member of the university. I'm not seriously trying to present myself to him in any romantic sense. That would be so inappropriate! And as far as the dress goes, it's the grand opening tonight. Everyone's wearing these kinds of things. So no, you're wrong."
"Very well, if the lady persists," Na-Rae shrugs, checking her phone. "Shoot, I gotta get to work in fifteen but I expect a full report later!" You watch as she hustles to her room.
.
The exhibit's doors open at 7 pm sharp. The line to the entrance runs about three blocks which is far longer than you were expecting. Most people came in groups or pairs, making you wish Na-Rae didn't have to work tonight.
But you're right about this being a formal affair. Everyone is dressed to kill. Some lean more towards black tie while others choose to show off their highly expressive, avant-garde nature.
You look down at yourself, suddenly feeling quite underdressed. You're wearing a simple black dress that's cinched at the waist. If one were to look close enough they'd see hints of gold throughout but no one would get that close.
The artwork itself is stunning. Varying from abstraction to impressionism, you get a sense of pleasure in taking in others’ inspiration. Many of these works are from locals in the area which is one of the main reasons for the number of interested guests. You wonder if anyone here knows the artists directly.
You make your way to the next set of pieces, studying the first in line. You immediately recognize the particular style as post-impressionism. It's clear the artist has great influence by Van Gogh evident from the similar large yet controlled strokes.
As you continue observing the work you feel a second body, looming close beside you. Naturally, you shift your eyes over to see the source. His hair brushes past his face as he leans closer to the painting.
After about three seconds you quickly dart your eyes away, careful not to stare. The man appears to be equally as focused on the work in front of him, as you were. It'd be a bit embarrassing if he noticed your gaze and snapped at you for it.
The man next to you slowly straightens his bent-over posture. He moves to the other side of you, viewing the next painting on your right. You barely catch the slight glance he gives you in the process, now able to see his full face.
It's not Dr. Kim–it's Dr. Jeon.
This isn't weird, you try convincing yourself. It's perfectly normal for you to see your professor in public. Besides, who knows if he actually recognized you yet. No need to make this awkward if you simply pretend not to notice him.
You think about whether to sneakily slip away or continue to feign ignorance until…
"Are we going to keep side-eyeing each other or can I say hi?" Dr. Jeon lightly smiles at you with playful eyes. His glasses are different today–thinner design. And oh, is that a...lip ring? Is that new or has he always had it? You don't remember seeing it before. "If you keep staring at my lips like that I might get shy."
"Ahha, Dr. Jeon!" You fight the stirring of your nerves. "Hi! Sorry, I didn't mean to stare or anything. I wasn't expecting to see you here."
"Please, __. Outside of class, Jungkook is fine. Though I understand if that's a little out of place for you."
A little?! You've been calling Dr. Jeon, well, Dr. Jeon for the past two weeks. It's unlikely that will change. "If it's alright with you," you start, hands restless. "I'd like to stick with the usual."
Jungkook nods, giving you a brief once-over before replying. "Sure, no problem. I'm hoping you'll warm up to the idea though. Dr. Jeon makes me feel old." He lets out a throaty chuckle. "I'd ask what brings you to this art exhibit but I think I have the answer, given the amount of sketches I see you doing while I'm lecturing."
Oh god. Your professor calling you out for both gawking at his lips and doodling in class under the span of five minutes? You've never wanted to disappear more. The sketches you do aren't meant to look like a distraction and honestly, you didn't mean to gawk at the tiny ring, it was just there!
"Sorry," he continues. "That wasn't intended to be passive-aggressive. I really don't mind as long as they don't hinder your learning. Dr. Kim does the same thing whenever I'm talking to him too. I've summed it up to an itch all you artists have. I've come here in support of him actually." He gestures to the collection of paintings next to you; the post-impressionism ones you were intent on studying earlier.
"Oh wow," you gasp stupidly, following his gesture. You didn't even clue in to read the artist's name.
Stigma by Kim Taehyung.
"I had no idea Dr. Kim had some of his work displayed here. I feel so foolish. I was viewing his pieces for I don't know how long just a few minutes ago."
You were sure Dr. Kim was attending the exhibit for the same reasons as you. But while it was partially right, you obviously missed the biggest point.
"Don't fret," a deep, honey-coated voice comes from nowhere. "Any admirer of my work is a friend of mine." He strolls up to your left, Jungkook still on your right. "I don't believe we've met yet. Dr. Kim Taehyung." He tosses a hand out for you to shake.
Oh no, no no no. You hope to death you won't start sweating. You've never been this close to Kim Taehyung before and he wants you to hold his hand! "Pleasure to meet you Dr. Kim. I'm __," you say, struggling not to burst inside.
Okay, so it's not exactly holding hands but it's close enough. His fingers are so long and elegant. You can't wipe the grin off your face.
You're squeezing it now, stop stop stop. You mentally slap yourself and retract your hand as naturally as you can. Thank fuck no one can read your mind.
"I'm sorry your name is __?" Dr. Kim freezes as if suddenly needing to remember something. When you think he's recalled whatever it is he needs, he flicks his head over to Jungkook with a twinkle in his eye. "__," he repeats aloud.
"Uhm, yes..." You're definitely missing something. You look between the two men, apparently both intent on keeping you in omnious silence. What's so facinating about your name?
Taehyung whips his head back to face you, flashing a blinding grin. "You're the little artist in Jungkook's class aren't you?"
That's what this is about? He looks far too proud of himself for connecting those dots.
"Yeah I take ECON 602 with Dr. Jeon." You make the mistake of looking at Jungkook mid-sentence. For some odd reason, his previous mirthful expression has changed to one of bitter distaste.
"She isn't little," Jungkook intrudes, nearly snapping at the older man. "Little is what you call a child and it's inappropriate for you to call her that."
What the hell....? How is Dr. Kim calling you little bothering your professor more than you?
"My apologies," Taehyung says. "But she's your student, right? The one drawing during your lectures? I think she drew you once. Exquisite may I add. You captured his pissed-off look so well." He gives you a pleased look but you're too sheepish to form a reply.
"Yes, I wasn't having the best day. Can I talk to you a moment Dr. Kim? We'll be right back __, just a second." Jungkook grabs the older's arm, yanking him out of your earshot.
"What the hell are you doing, Taehyung?" Jungkook spits. "You're making my student uncomfortable."
"Aha, so she is the artist. Look I admit that using the term little was a misstep but I think she's alright. I apologized didn't I?"
"Yeah sure, but she's not alright." He makes air quotes. "Since you've also made it seem like anything she does in my class, I spill to you! Don't you see how uneasy that would make someone feel? Especially me being her professor. She could be thinking I tell you weird things too! See what you've done?!"
"But Jungkook," Taehyung drawls, face scrunching. He's not sure what's gotten Jungkook so worked up. "You do in fact regurgitate everything to me. You've been talking about her for the last week just to one-up me that she's an artist. Now I get to have a face to the name. I'm kinda tickled about it but also, what weird things are you referring to?" Taehyung pauses, eyes going as big as a saucer. "Oh my god, bro. Are you–"
Jungkook grunts firmly, shutting the man up at once. "Absolutely not Tae. Whatever you were about to say, it couldn't be a bigger no. All I'm asking is for you to keep the private things private. I don't want you blubbering everything to her."
"Very well," Taehyung hums, stealing a glance at you behind Jungkook's shoulder. From where he stood, he had an easy view of you moving down the line of paintings. You stop in front of each one, curiously examining them the best you can. "However, she's quite intriguing. I can't make any promises that I'll hold myself back."
"You better be talking about her mutual interest in art. She's my student and we have an obligation through the university not to fraternize with any–"
"Yes yes, your student. I don't need a reminder of where my boundaries are, but perhaps you do....bringing up fraternizing and all." Taehyung moves past Jungkook, striding back over to you. "Whatever else can there be besides professional or academic affairs? Of course, we're keeping our witts about us Kookie."
Behind him, Jungkook huffs and follows his lead. Then wipe that stupid smirk off your face, he thinks.
Present
Dinner is rough.
Jungkook's parents showing up unannounced and uninvited throws you both in a very quick, downward spiral. How can two people have so much time on their hands? Retirement, that's how.
You try your hardest to keep the conversation light throughout dinner, but it's obvious the air has grown thick between your husband and his mother.
"Why didn't you come to the reunion last year?" your mother-in-law presses for the second time tonight. She clutches the napkin in her hand, anxious for his response.
Jungkook sits across the table. His posture stiffens at the question. "I'm sorry, I had a lot to do. The reunion is always so close to when I have to go back to the university that I just didn't have the time."
A loud, impatient sigh comes from back across the table. "You didn't have the time or didn't make it? Honesty Jungkook, you expect me to believe that?"
When Jungkook doesn't answer, you and your father-in-law exchange troublesome looks. "Honey," Mr. Jeon speaks up, placing a hand on her shaky one. "You know how full the school year is for Jungkook. Don't blame him. Maybe he can come this year if we reschedule for a more convenient time." He pleads with his son, hopeful eyes.
"Stop helping him." She looks at Mr. Jeon and then back to Jungkook. "I don't think I'm asking for a lot. I just want you there, you and __."
At that, you find yourself gripping your husband's arm from under the table. Jungkook shifts in his seat and stares dead straight into his mother's eyes. "Funny you say that," he seethes. You tug on his arm in desperation to calm him. "Seeing that you keep dropping by at random times throughout the year, I'd say you expect a great deal from us."
Mrs. Jeon immediately snatches her hand from your father-in-law's. "Maybe I wouldn't have to if you'd come to the reunion. Or called, texted, or even emailed at this point. If it weren't for my efforts, I wouldn't hear from you at all."
"Please," Mr. Jeon pleads again, this time to both parties. "We're having dinner. Let's continue this later." He reaches for the bowl in the middle of the table but he's quickly ignored.
"You're right." Jungkook cuts. "Maybe I should come. Because it's one more way you can get what you want, isn't it? All those years of hard work so you can show me off to everyone."
"Don't you talk to me like that," Mrs. Jeon grits. "If I wanted to show you off it'll be when you give me a grandchild! I'm lucky to even have a daughter-in-law by now."
Chair legs scrape against the hardwood floor and your arm snakes out from Jungkook's arm. Your husband stands at the table, Mr. Jeon follows suit. "Okay, okay, let's just–"
"Dad," Jungkook interrupts. "Can you please take Mom home for the night?"
"Are you okay?" you pop the question once your in-laws leave for the night, a queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Mrs. Jeon looked completely bewildered, whereas Mr. Jeon looked deeply troubled; conflicted between wife and son. You have a feeling he has a better understanding of what happened than you do right now.
"I wish she hadn't come today," Jungkook plops on the bed. You sit beside him. "I'm sorry about what she said about you....I knew she was here for something."
You won't lie. When Mrs. Jeon mentioned being lucky to finally have a daughter-in-law, it stung. You detest being seen as an achievement. "I'm sure she didn't mean it like that since she said it out of impulse. It was a tense moment," you say. "As far as what she was getting at though, it was for you to go to the reunion."
"No." He shakes his head and then glances at you. "It's not about the reunion. She only wants me to go so she can show everyone how smart and successful her son has become–all her doing of course. It's been like that since high school. And she wants you to go for a similar reason."
"I knew your mom had a bit of a thing for status but I thought that mostly revolved around her profession. Also, when she was talking earlier about you not keeping in touch she seemed more hurt and sad than mad. I think she really just wants you there."
"If she seemed hurt it's because she didn't get her way," Jungkook says, nonchalant.
"Jungkook."
"I'm sorry but it's true" He adjusts his position, angling himself to face you. "Mom's used to calling the shots– at work, at home, even with our neighbors growing up. You've seen how dad is around her. Yeah, he pushes back a little but at the end of the day, he does what's asked of him."
Frightened to ask the next question, you swallow hard. "What aren't you telling me Jungkook?"
He gently takes your hand from your lap, rubbing small circles on the knuckles. "Growing up, she was hardly around or involved in my brother and I's life. Most weeks, she and Dad would be at work, and we'd be with a babysitter or nanny. Dad did what he could to take care of us but Mom? All she would do is prune us to be just like her...smart, successful, and a dash more to make up for all the achievements she couldn't make."
"Jungkook...I don't know what to say," you murmur, trying to take everything in. "But your PhD–"
"My decision but her influence. Though she wasn't pleased when I said I'd be relocating ten hours away."
You remember him telling you this part before. His mother had a hard time coping with his reluctance to stay nearby. Maybe she did want him to follow in her footsteps. "Your brother didn't have as much pressure on him did he?"
"He did, but he still bends to her will. Except for the grandchildren part." Jungkook grimaces, averting eye contact. "I guess we have that in common."
"Hey," you urge him to lift his head. "Please don't feel bad about telling me any of this. If your picture of parents has largely been their absence and desire for self-fulfillment, then I understand your grounds for not wanting children. And as far as tonight with your mom, I'm so sorry. I feel like it's partially my fault for agreeing to host them for two days."
A pair of soft eyes rest on you in the dim room. The sun was near set now and all the light previously shining into the room had come from the window. If this wasn't a serious moment you might take a candid shot of your husband.
"You're the best thing that's happened to me __," Jungkook coos. "Don't ever think your kindness is a fault." He pauses then continues. "I still want both my parents in my life but I need to draw boundaries or I will completely snap and that's not something I want to happen. Especially since we have a possible baby to make one day."
"Hu–huh?" It's the repetition of the last sentence that makes you utterly dumbfounded.
Baby? Baby with Jungkook. One day?
Your husband draws his hand up to barely caress your cheek. "Why does that always seem to stop your heart?"
You catch his wrist mid-movement and throw yourself into him. Your arms link around his neck, chest flat against his. "It doesn't stop my heart," you say, playing with his hair. "It makes it beat faster."
"Wow." Your husband hugs you closer. "So cheesy." He leans back after, pressing a soft kiss to yours.
The two of you continue making out like teenagers again; Jungkook tumbling on his back.
"Kook." You lay on top of him, straddling his sides. "Have you ever thought about seriously talking to your mom about you know, everything you told me?"
Jungkook hums, before answering. "Somewhat but, I'm not sure how that'll go."
"It might be worth it instead of having little pieces slip out when you get into conflict...like tonight for instance."
"I suppose it's not a far-fetched idea. I'll consider it but it might take some more time. For now, I think I'll start by calling her tomorrow. I'm still mad but I don't wanna leave things the way they are now. Plus, I'm sure they don't have plans to go back home early. I'd hate for them to stay in the hotel the rest of these two days."
"Sounds like a plan," you say, snuggling into the crook of his neck.
"Mom." Jungkook holds the phone to his ear. "What are you and Dad doing today?"
"Oh, I–," his mom stutters from the other end. "We're not up to too much. I think your dad wants to swing by some bookstore around town. Uh, what about you?"
"__ at work and I'm home by myself. Are you hungry? I thought maybe we could go out for brunch."
Jungkook hears his mom's tone lift. "Are you sure? I mean that would be lovely but if there are things you need to do then we don't want to...impose."
Mrs. Jeon's sudden willingness to check in is unexpected. Jungkook still senses traces of guilt but at least she's making somewhat of an effort.
"It's my treat," he assures, a little shaky. "I'm sorry about yesterday, mom. Maybe we can talk about it more in person."
"I think that would be good," she agrees simply. "Where and what time do you want to meet up?"
"Drive over here in twenty minutes. We can pile in my car and head over."
Once finally agreed, Jungkook ends the call. He opens his messages and shoots you a text.
Jungkook: Well I did it 😬 [sent at 10:42 a.m]
__: Proud of you ❤️ if anything happens, call me. [sent at 10:44 a.m]
Jungkook: I will. Also, sorry to bring it up but I gotta give Yoongi hyung an answer by tomorrow. Are we babysitting his twins Saturday? [sent at 10:47 a.m]
__: Ahm, it'll likely be the evening, right? [sent at 10:48 a.m]
Jungkook: Probably [sent at 10:49 a.m]
__: I guess, sure. We're going to need to put some stuff away though 😅 And get something fun for them to do! [sent by 10:51 a.m]
Jungkook: Noted but I'm sure they'll bring lots to do. Yoongi hyung is a big sofie for his girls. He buys them everything–literally 🫠 [sent at 10:52 a.m]
__: True. I have to get back to work now but love you xoxo [sent at 10:53 a.m]
A/N: Surprise! jk has mommy issues and they've has been triggered. Was hoping how he talked, thought, & acted towards her in the last chapter gave hints. On the brighter side, jungkook is another step closer to babyville! And next flashback will be something exciting! Lmk if you wanna be tagged or have thoughts in comments or asks! 💞
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