#[ tried to muse him as a joke and IT TURNED TO BE A MAIN MUSE ]

[mysterysouled]

//Beast muse so strong that is making me wanna design this blog entirely on him

[seelestia]

— 𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄?

SUMMARY. zhongli never lies; he always says the truth as it is, even if it is a hard pill to swallow. or in which you realize you are not his greatest love and that is alright... right? (3.3k+ words)

CHARACTERS. zhongli.

GENRE. major angst, hurt with little to no comfort (sort of?).

CW. insecurities to a partner's past love and gradual acceptance (?), zhongli's past love is implied to be guizhong and uses she/her pronouns, use of pet names, possible sappiness. + read the alt text on zhongli's header for an extra summary!

THOUGHTS. i haven't written angst in a vv long time, so my sincerest apologies if i've become rusty! but i tried my best and writing zhongli always gets me sniffling <//3

EXTRA THOUGHTS. a gift for @medeaheartly! so, do you remember the "special privilege" request you sent me in this ask?? hehe, tadaaaa. happy birthday, jae! <3

✰ main masterlist. // series masterlist.

THE VERY FIRST TIME you asked him that question was on a day like every other. In fact, there was barely anything special about that day that could've brought rise to such a forward question. Liyue was as calm as the ocean breezes from the direction of Guyun Stone Forest, the same as ever. You were sitting across from the man of your dreams with delicacies laid out on the table at Third-Round Knockout, the same as ever.

But it was no compulsion, no forcefulness either, just a need to reaffirm. For it still felt like a dream that you were here right now, sitting across from him.

"ZHONGLI, do you love me?" You asked.

He was a man of respectable virtue, a man whose knowledge knew no bounds, a man of perfectly sculpted features that you had to rub your eyes in a daze when you met him for the first time. Nothing could begin to describe how honored you felt to have him call you his lover and him yours after all those years of admiring him from afar.

Even now, it still felt surreal. So, so surreal that he chose you, just like how you'd choose him over any other on this land — but, you needed a confirmation, a reassurance that this was all true. And so, that was why you just had to ask.

But love might've been too strong a word for a mutual connection that had only sparked so recently. Maybe he, too, thought the same because Zhongli turned to look at you with an expression that spoke of surprise. For a moment, you felt conscious underneath his questioning gaze.

Goodness, why did you say that? Why did you act so impulsive? It was as if your mouth had a mind of its own and for a moment, you wanted to bury your face in your hands and never look up.

Perhaps, you should just take back that question—

"Let me put my thoughts into words," he hummed in response, the slight shock on his face subtly dissolving into gentleness. By doing so, your thoughts were grounded to a halt as he rested a hand on top of yours. Its warmth was familiar and you had to stop a bashful smile from blooming like a flower on your lips.

Zhongli was actually humoring you and your silly question, you realized.

"Well... oftentimes, I find myself staring at Silk Flowers, knowing that they remind me of your soft gaze and that I'd want to give them to you as a gift. Although, at times, that plan is unable to come to fruition if I forgot to bring a pouch of Mora with me," he mused, eyes closed.

You stifle a mirthful laugh with your hand at the last part, even more when you noticed that he was stating it matter-of-factly rather than saying it as a joke.

"And when I sit down to watch Ms. Yun's performance, there are times where a voice in my mind echoes to me, 'they would've loved this' as I listen. Slowly but surely, you begin to occupy my mind so naturally, as natural as the cycle of the sun and the moon," he added.

You were hanging onto his every word, his melodious voice, his beautiful amber irises, his everything. You knew why; because he was never the type to sweeten his words with sugar or honey, never with the intention to entice you into falling harder for him with speech. No, rather, it was because Zhongli was always honest. As if his words were gospel to your ears; anything he said, he meant it and this time was no exception.

If there was ever a moment that you wished you could capture and replay over and over again like a broken record, it would have surely been this one. It was only when his previously serious tone morphed into a fit of chuckles was how you realized you were spacing out. His eyes crinkled even more beautifully than the crescent in the night sky as he said, "Well, is that enough or shall I tell you more?"

"N-no, that's enough," you tried to hide your face behind your unoccupied hand, albeit horribly failing because Zhongli only seemed to laugh harder. His voice echoed like music in your ears and Archons, you just fell more and more for him.

He said it himself; that he was yours, yours, yours, finally yours.

(But at the time, you were yet to be made aware of the stories from the past.)

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

THE SECOND TIME you asked him that question was when you discovered that Zhongli, once, had a lover. At first, it wasn't surprising to you because almost everyone had a love that either wasn't meant to be or lost itself to time. In his case, it was the latter, or so you heard from the whispers of passersby.

"There is a tavern that puts a vase of Glaze Lilies on their tables when they open at nighttime and when the gentleman from Wangsheng Funeral Parlor visits, he stares at the flowers longingly while he sits. I think the flowers remind him of someone."

"Maybe it's Mx. [Y/N] he is thinking about?"

But you knew better, Zhongli said it to you himself; Silk Flowers were what reminded him of you, not Glaze Lilies. A trivial detail to some, but it meant a lot to you. You weren't mad nor angry but instead, you felt rather curious.

You never heard any of the stories from Zhongli himself, although you supposed you already knew why. It was either he never brought it up to shelter your feelings, or maybe even his own. They said curiosity was what killed the cat, but you still held on to this curiosity, whether that be for better or for worse.

When you finally came to the decision that you'd gather the courage to ask him about her someday, it was a time when the both of you were resting from the mundane routines of the day. Your head was on his lap and his fingers were tangled in your hair, courtesy of being gently pulled onto his lap after you complained about a headache quietly.

The desire to ask Zhongli about his previous lover was constantly knocking in the back of your mind, the words of it lost somewhere on your tongue. Was this a good decision? Why did you become so inquisitive as of late? But you finally managed to gulp down the boulder of hesitation caught in your throat.

"...What kind of person was she? The one before me?"

Your tone was doubtful, your question was vague — but still, his fingers that were just carding through your hair stopped. Halted in its tracks so abruptly that you felt an instant rush of worry coursing through you, you sat up from your position with a concerned frown.

"'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"

"No," the man shook his head, his voice meeker than the usual certainty that you had grown used to. Your heart sank, had you crossed the line? As if your thoughts were written across your forehead, Zhongli placed his hands on your shoulders and laid you back onto his lap. "It's alright," he smiled.

You wondered if that smile was just a front to comfort you, but his gentle gesture was too hard to resist and you found staring up at his face with your head on his thigh. His gaze didn't meet yours, however; he wasn't trying to avoid you but rather, he was looking into the distance.

Looking at something, looking at a memory.

"She was wonderful," he uttered, a delayed answer to the question you asked him. The image of a fond smile had seemed to sew itself tight on his lips, you couldn't help but gape in awe at his beauty. Oblivious to your adoring gaze, he continued his story, "We used to chatter into the night, she more than I, about the present and future of Liyue with cups of Osmanthus Wine in our hands."

His fingers made themselves at home in between your locks again, smoothing out and counting the strands idly. You managed to note a familiar detail in his words as you hummed, "Osmanthus Wine? Like the one you brought home for us the other day?"

"Yes, dear, like the one I brought home for us that day," Zhongli chuckled at the sudden way your sharp memory decided to make itself apparent. "I used to drink the wine with her and my old friends," he added. Zhongli always had a fondness for that drink and only now, had he told you why.

But it invoked an unnamed feeling inside your chest, knowing that mellow yet sweet drink you once shared with your lover was actually a token from the past he used to share with another. ...Was this jealousy? No, you shouldn't. You felt guilty, terrible for feeling this way when he was speaking of nostalgic memories so beautifully.

"You must've loved her greatly," you tried to muster a smile, one that looked sweet from the outside but came from a bitter place deep down. "Yes, I did," Zhongli smiled too and the genuineness in that smile only hurt you even more.

Will he ever speak of you that way too? Will you be able to replicate the happiness that came with his previous lover and his old friends?

"Do you—" Before you knew it, you had already begun to ask yet another question that seemed to bubble up without a second thought. Your lips were dry as you carried on your sentence, "Do you love me too?"

As much as her? More than her? Less than her? Words unspoken.

All you knew was that you craved an answer from him. You didn't want reassurance, you just wanted the truth. But was it hypocrisy if you said that deep down, you were expecting yourself to be more special in his eyes? No, expecting wasn't the right word, it was hoping.

"Yes, I loved her and I love you," Zhongli smiled again, wistful. His voice was loving and his answer was said so clearly — but somehow, it only left you feeling even emptier than before.

You didn't know why, but something was just missing. Unsettled, an uneasy feeling that'd make your stomach churn like realizing that you left the door open or forgot something important at the tip of your tongue.

(Or maybe, you really were a hypocrite, after all.)

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

For the past two times, you realized that you had been asking Zhongli the same question, merely presented in different shades. First, it was: "Do you love me?" An innocence that was meant to be a confirmation that your dream to be his finally came true. Second, it was: "Do you love me too?" A question that derived from the insecurity of knowing that he once had a lover who clearly outshone you in every way.

It was only during THE THIRD TIME you asked him that question were you finally able to pinpoint that hidden void in your chest from last time — and it just so happened that this revelation descended as the two of you stood in front of an unnamed grave.

But the bouquet of Glaze Lilies in Zhongli's hands was already telling of whom the place of resting belonged to. The sheer longing in his gaze was a telling indication too, as painful as it was for you to admit.

For these past few days, Zhongli was kind enough to tell you stories about his former lover; of her bright mind, of her delightful demeanor, of her connection to a field of Glaze Lilies in his mind, of her memorable presence in his life. Even in this moment, he invited you to come alongside him to visit her grave, an intimate and precious place that he never disclosed to anyone before. But you knew that he made sure that your comfort was his priority, never speaking or telling too much unless you specifically asked.

"It's growing dark," the sigh that came with his words drifted away to become one with the wind. You assumed if it weren't for the time, the both of you could've lingered for a little bit longer here. Zhongli kneeled on one knee to place the bouquet on top of the grave, you watched silently as a sign of respect. There were a few moments of nostalgic silence as he stood up. He rested his hands on the back of his waist, a little habit of his, and he tore his gaze away from the grave to you.

"I must thank you for accompanying me here today," Zhongli regarded you with a sweet smile but somehow, this smile was much more feeble than usual.

"Before, I was only able to cherish memories of her alone by myself," he stated as he stared into the darkening skies above that was beginning to make way for the moon to shine. But he wanted to look at you in the eyes as he spoke, so the male pivoted aside to face you properly. "You've given me the opportunity to speak of her legacy. I know that this topic might not be the easiest for you to hear, so I just want to thank you. For understanding and for listening." The smile on his face as he spoke was growing wider this time, more earnest.

Words failed you, all you could manage was to return his smile with your own. Zhongli was kind, too kind, really... which only made the guilt upon your shoulders grow heavier, for you had one last question to ask of him.

"Let's go home, dear," he held out a hand towards you, fully expecting you to grab onto it so the two of you can make your journey back to Liyue Harbor — and you did, you grabbed onto his hand but you didn't move from your position.

Your feet were firmly planted on the ground at the very same spot. Your chest felt heavier than any metal bladesmiths could ever hope to get their hands on, but you told yourself multiple things: one, that this question will be the last one and two, that his answer will not change anything between you.

You just needed to know, was all.

"Zhongli," you croaked out his name. His amber eyes crinkled at the corners with concern as he replied, "Yes?" Archons, you couldn't bear the reality that you were the one causing him to feel that way, but you managed to force the words out of your mouth before you put this off any longer.

"...Do you love her most?"

Zhongli froze, just like the very first time you mentioned her name to him that day. His mouth opened then closed again, thinking of the right words to respond. What was happening?

He was always known for his ability to be straightforward and honest. Yes, that was what he'd normally do, but that was one of the concepts about love. Love makes you do strange things, love makes you stray from your usual self before it has yet to course through your veins, love is strange — and for the first time in forever, Zhongli hesitated.

You searched for his eyes for an answer and you couldn't help, but wonder: why was he hesitating now? "Tell me the truth, tell it as it is like how you always do. But if you don't wish to answer, I understand," you squeezed his head reassuringly.

You weren't forceful, you gave him a chance to refuse, but that look in your eyes; just how much you needed to know, just how much you needed an answer. Was this the matter that bothered you all this time? Finally, he was able to figure out why such a forlornly aura had begun following you ever since the day you asked him about her.

He'll do it, he'll give you an answer. Zhongli is never one to lie and this time, he wouldn't either. He repeated your question to himself in his mind: Does he love her the most? And the answer that trickled out of his mouth in a quiet whisper was... "Yes," he said.

Your eyes widened. Not in disappointment, not in expectation, but in disbelief upon finally receiving the answer to the fog that had engulfed you for so long.

"I would cross the ocean for her, I would sacrifice my last breath for her, I would wait a lifetime of solitude for her. Even until now, that has not changed," he murmured.

"I see," you smiled ruefully, but it didn't reach your ears. You weren't able to meet her, but just through witnessing the utter loyalty the man you loved had for her, she must've been as wonderful as he described her to be. Of course, she was his greatest love and that's alright. He had all the rights to love someone that wasn't you, that's alright too. At least, the truth was finally revealed, right? That was all you wanted, right?

Right, [Y/N]?

"Please do not cry."

Zhongli spoke after what felt like an eternity of silence where you were left consumed by your own thoughts. You didn't even notice the tears that were rolling down your cheeks until he pointed it out — the warmth of Zhongli's fingers as he tried to wipe away at the pearly liquids on your face was careful, but that gesture only seemed to bring forward more of them.

He averted his gaze, "It was not my intention to make you cry..." Here came that unfamiliar hesitation again, rendering his tongue into a jumbled mess. But Zhongli decided to push through, there was something he wanted you to know; "I've never lied to you," he said, his voice and gaze were firm.

"When I told you that looking at Silk Flowers reminds me of your gaze and I want to give them to you. When I told you that I loved her and I love you. When I said that I love her the most."

By now, your tears had stopped and the only traces left of them were the drying streaks on your face. The times where you had asked him all those questions came rushing back in an instant as he listed them amidst his musing.

"Those things, they are not lies," Zhongli encased your trembling hand with both of his own, causing your blurry eyes to look at him. "I love you. This is not a lie either," he pressed a kiss to the back of your hand.

You were silent and he could feel the worry swirling inside his chest. It was only several seconds after that your mouth began to move, yet he couldn't make out what you had said. With a frown, the tall brown-haired male leaned closer and only then did he hear the words falling from your lips: "I never doubted that at all," you whispered in between sniffles.

"That wasn't a lie either, in case you're wondering," you chipped in. He chuckled, mused that you used his words against him so quickly, endeared by your very existence before him. But most importantly, his voice was rid of the sadness that he had upon seeing your tear-stricken face prior.

"Let's go home, my love," Zhongli said those words softly, as soft as the way he tucked back a stray strand of your hair that fell from its original position.

You nodded.

It was during that fateful dusk where you learnt that you were not his greatest love and that's alright. It'll take time to fully register itself in your heart and that's alright too.

(After all, he said that he loves you — and Zhongli is anything but a liar. Everything is alright, right?)

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

✰ TAGLIST: @meimeimeirin @tsuk4sa-yug1 @catcze @semi-orangeapple @yuuki4646 @d-a-r-k-s-w-a-n @daisydkj @omgscaramouche @coquettemaiden @herdrops @lleoll — [ bolded names are unable to be tagged + register here to be a part of my taglist! ]

© SEELESTIA, dec 2022. do not repost, plagiarize, translate nor claim as your own. happy birthday, jae!

[ashwhowrites]

oooooh I have been saving up requests for a while for you. here's one for now, I don't want to bombard you

"I don't know what to say to that"

"then don't say anything"

eddie & reader in love but reader always tries to cut whatever tension w humor/cracking jokes bc she gets overwhelmed by how serious eddie gets when telling her all the things he loves about her & why he loves her. she (so obviously) loves him too she just doesn't know how to handle all that emotion bc she's never seen or felt love like this in her life. eddie wants to change that

you can make it gn if you're more comfortable writing it that way!!

-☀️

this is literally how my partner and I work. I am obsessed and go on rants about everything I love about them.

Small blurb of two people in love

Not proofread

Eddie Munson was a deep person, he put a lot of thought into his ideas, he took time to really understand the things around him, and his emotions showed on his face. He wore his heart on his sleeve. He was passionate about the things he loves, and the people he loves.

Of course, Eddie was hyper and chaotic, always laughing and joking around. But he could turn serious in seconds if he was fully focused on something, and Y/N loved that about her boyfriend. Except, when she was his focus point.

Y/N was not used to someone admiring her, Eddie treated her like she was royalty. He worshipped the ground she walked on and stared into her eyes whenever she spoke. Turned his body to face her during conversations, brown eyes locked on her, even if she wasn't talking to him.

He was so wrapped up in her, everything she did took his breath away and he wanted to soak in her warmth. He could lay in bed with her all day and would spend the rest of his life doing the same.

~~~

It was an early Sunday morning, Y/N was laying on Eddie's chest as he ranted about his dream. His soft fingertips softly ran up and down her arm. Halfway through his story, he got silent. Y/N looked at him confused, only to find him staring down at her with a smile.

"What?" she asked

"You have the prettiest lips you know that?" Eddie thought out loud. His head was all focused on his dream, but the sun outlined her lips and now his head was stuck on that.

"Oh shut up, continue your dream." She waved him off

"Like the perfect shape, gorgeous color, and so soft." He trailed on and on, his thumb resting on her bottom lip as she softly tugged it.

And this is what Y/N struggled with. His eyes and attention of just on her. She felt her body grow hot and nervously laughed.

"You just like what my lips can do," she teased, trying to lighten the mood.

"I love that too, but that's not my main reason. I love that your lips feel like a safe place. A kiss from you just calms my body and gives my brain a second to shut off and restart." Eddie smiled, his thumb brushing her lip softly.

Y/N struggled with words, so she settled with hiding herself in Eddie's neck.

~~~

Eddie loved to draw, it was something he felt like he was good at. And his girlfriend was his perfect muse.

"And done!" Eddie stated proudly, a huge smile on his face as he cleaned off his notepad.

Y/N looked up from her homework, a smile on her face, assuming Eddie finished his math homework.

"Want me to check your answers?" She offered

"Oh.....I am not done with math." Eddie said with a nervous smile.

"Munson, we have been in this booth for an hour and what have you been doing?" She questioned, trying to sit up to look over the table.

Eddie smirked as he turned over his notepad, a proud look in his eyes as Y/N took in the drawing.

"Is...are those my eyes?" She was taken aback by how beautiful the drawing was. A collection of eyes scattered across the page, but each pair was slightly different. The eyes showed different emotions, happy, sad, and one that stood out. The eyes were so soft, warm, and so much emotion.

"Yeah, baby. This one was when you found your favorite flower at that one shop."

"Do you have a favorite flower, Munson?" Y/N asked, skimming through the flower shop. Robin's birthday was coming and Y/N decided on flowers and dinner as a gift.

"Baby, I don't know anything about flowers, maybe the yellow ones?" Eddie shrugged, looking over all the different colors.

"Many can be yellow." She laughed, shaking her head as she reached up to grab Robin sunflowers.

"What's yours?" Eddie asked, throwing his arm over her shoulder.

"Pink roses!" She said excitedly, her eyes catching a row of pink roses.

"And this was when you found that baby turtle in the middle of the street with no mom."

"EDDIE STOP!" Y/N screamed, Eddie slammed on his brakes. Panicked eyes looking over at Y/N

"what's wrong?" He asked, watching as her eyes began to water and tears ran down her face.

"That turtle! They are all alone, we need to bring them home." She said, throwing off her seatbelt and running into the middle of the street.

"BABY! WATCH FOR CARS" Eddie screamed after her, shaking his head as she scooped up the turtle. She came back with her eyes still tearful but a smile on her face.

"What's the last one?" Y/N asked, she was amazed by all the different emotions but that last one intrigued her.

She watched as Eddie blushed, his pale cheeks turning pink and his ears turning red, easy to tell since his hair was in a low bun.

"Um, that one was after we had sex for the first time." Eddie coughed out, nervously chuckling as he went to close the notepad, but she was quick to snatch it.

Holding it closer to her face as she took in the details.

"What was I looking at this time?" She asked, tracing the shading around her eyes on the page.

"You were looking at me." He admitted with a smile. "It was the day you looked at me the way I felt for you. Your eyes tell me everything about you and that night they told me you loved me."

Eddie always had a way to make Y/N at a loss for words.

"I just, I don't know what to say. I wish I could show my love for you like how you can. You know the right words and the actions. " Y/N ranted out, handing him the notepad.

"You don't have to say anything, your eyes tell me and that's enough for me," Eddie said, leaning over to kiss her, she smiled and met him halfway across the table.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila

[j0kers-light]

His Lighthouse: Good Intentions (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Good Intentions

series summary:

Y/n is an aspiring writer living in Gotham City and struggling to find her next muse. Her recent novel is getting all the buzz, earning her far more attention than she signed up for. But when a chance encounter results in her nursing The Joker back to health, will she find the time to write another best seller or will her own story become front page of the Gotham Gazette?

chapter summary:

Yall know the drill by now. Chaos will update this part later 👀

author's note:

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PATIENCE! Holy bananas! This chapter is four five months in the making! I know it'll take you just a few minutes to read it but keep that in mind loves! Chaos slaved over this chapter because life gave me a wedgie at every flippin turn! Joker was getting on my nerves not cooperating with the dialogue then I had a HUGE plot hole that needed to be filled and I bet everyone is wondering-

When will Joker give Y/n a night she'll never forget? Not in this chapter I'm afraid! I tried to add it in but it didn't flow well so stay tuned loves! Things are gonna be happening very quickly very soon. I'm so excited!

Let me know if you wish to be added to the official His Lighthouse taglist! Be alerted with any oneshots and the main story updates! 🖤✨

Last Chapter | Next Chapter

The dawn was bright and a touch cruel for waking you up in such a manner. Its persistent glare left you no chance of falling back asleep. You blinked back the last dregs of your slumber and finally became aware of your surroundings. 

The first thing you noticed was Joker lying beside you, gazing at you fondly. Anything else besides him simply ceased to exist.  

Joker was devoid of any greasepaint, allowing you full access to his handsome face, scars and all. How dare he hide this from you? Joker didn’t think himself attractive, but the dusting of freckles along his nose amplified his beauty in your opinion. You began the tedious task of counting them one by one as he spoke.  

“My Bunny is finally awake.” He cupped your cheek, his touch warm and familiar— and bestowed you a kiss before reeling back and bopping you on the nose. You jumped slightly at the random action. You would never understand Joker’s fascination with your nose.  

You swatted him away to sit up further in bed. The surface itself gave you pause.  

The last thing you remembered was lying in the back of the SUV with Joker on the side of some Blüdhaven road. Not the best locale for sex but Joker made it memorable. “Where are we?” You asked.  

Joker snorted, “Why don’t ya look for yourself?” His eyes were like a hawk watching you glance around the room. 

Floor to ceiling windows overlooking the bustling streets of Gotham took up one wall. Back inside, two chairs and a couch in shades of sage and grey, sat before an electric fireplace, and a framed piece of fanart from your book series hung above it. The bathroom door was cracked open, and you could barely see the clawfoot feet of your tub peeking out from around the corner.  

You were in your guest bedroom. You were home. 

Not that you weren’t grateful, but you were still at a loss on the technicalities.  

“How did we get here?” You moved the covers back and noticed you were naked. “And where are my clothes?!” You shouted. 

Joker laughed at you scrambling to cover yourself.  

He didn’t see the point since he already had the pleasure of worshipping your body thoroughly. He had your body memorized and could navigate to the tiniest of scars with his eyes closed. Joker secretly enjoyed his Bunny acting all shy so he didn’t pull the sheet away from you.  

“Uhhh clothes? There ah.. somewhere. You didn’t need them.” Joker scoffed.  

You wished that Joker was cracking a joke. Granted that Blüdhaven wasn’t that far from Gotham City, you were still worried about optics. Cindy would kill you if any nsfw photos were leaked to the media.  

As if you needed more attention after your tabloid cover story with J was still circulating. You wanted to lay the secret lover rumors to rest not add more fuel to the fire.  

The morning sun flooded the room with its warm light and it illuminated your e/c eyes, effectively blinding your vision. “Joker please tell me you didn’t drive us back to Gotham with me naked in the passenger seat. What if someone saw?” 

You quirked an eyebrow at your distracted lover. J was looking at you, his mind however, was miles away in Metropolis.  

He was drawn in by your gorgeous eyes alit by the sun. Every day he questioned how he became so lucky to have your love. Someone so beautiful, so kind as you giving him the light of day? He was rendered speechless every time.  

“J?” you shielded your eyes from the sunlight, thus snapping him out of his daze. “Are you listening?” You asked. 

Joker blinked out of his fog to answer.  

“Ahem. I uh I’m the only one admiring the view, doll. The windows are tinted. Re-mem-ber?” Joker sang. Hopefully you didn’t catch his genuine stutter.  

You didn’t. “Oh right. Well at least we’re back in Gotham. Haven was irking my nerves.” 

“YuP. Some errr.. trip that was.” Joker noted as his hand hovered over your own. You nodded at his silent request. He began playing with your fingers one after another. You watched him, lost in thought. Neither of you knew how to address the elephant in the room.  

Joker was tracing the lines etched on your palm when he eventually caved in. “Your mom called.” 

“Huh?” 

J picked up the panic laced in your voice, “Calm down Bun. I didn’t talk to her.” 

He launched into the explanation as he mapped out the lines of your hand. “She left a uhh, voicemail. Your dad and uncle were dropped off, safe n sound, along with your cousin— albeit with heh.. bruised egos. See? Perfectly fine! Funny how life workss.” You winced as his long fingernail traced your lifeline.  

Intentional or not, it jogged your memory from last night and made you sigh in relief. “That’s good to hear. I’m glad they’re okay.”  

“You didn’t believe me?”  

You detangled your hand from Joker’s. It’s not that you didn’t believe him— he just made it hard to at the time. You couldn’t ignore what you saw. Joker shot your father and uncle at point blank range.  

You knew the kind of man Joker was. He killed without remorse and did it for fun. If he didn’t physically prove that the bullets were rubber, how were you to trust his word?  

“I.. Yes, I believe you, but please try to see it from my point of view! Y-You scared me last night. I mean, after you shot your own goon in front of me just a few days prior. How am I supposed to know what bullets you used? What if you mixed them up or something. I-I just.”  

You choked on your emotions and began curling in on yourself, if Joker didn’t stop the motion in its tracks. “Oh Bun none of that.” He turned you around to face him.  

You didn’t see him grimace at the fresh tears pooling in the corner of your eyes, but he brushed them away all the same. The gentle care he used made you look up into his troubled green eyes. Since when was Joker the affectionate type? 

“I never want you scared of me, doll. You should’ve never seen that err.. hic-cup at Bicchieri’s. It’s my fault for underestimating that a-nnoooying rat in my organization n' putting—” 

“What rat?” You echoed.  

Joker blinked twice as if he didn’t mean to share that bit of information with you. You saw the wheels turning in his head, desperate to backtrack that statement.  

“Ahh nothing to worry that pretty little head of yours!” He said with a smile but it was too late. His Light was a curious person by nature, and all it took was you stressing his name for him to groan in defeat. “Fiiiiine.”  

Up till now, Joker had done a great job at keeping you in the dark. He kept his lifestyle separate from yours to keep you safe but as of late, someone was making it their personal mission to change that and remove you from the picture. 

Joker remembered how shaken up you were after Two Face shot up your charity gala and then when he later abducted you from your apartment. The former District attorney was tame compared to the more dangerous threat this mole was creating.  

Joker exhausted almost every asset he had to wring out the traitor, all to no avail. Whoever was causing this high security breech was smart and resourceful.  

Joker thought traveling to your hometown would help narrow down his search, but it only led to more questions than answers. Keeping you naïve was no longer possible. He just hoped this latest news didn’t scare you away for good. 

You knew it was serious when Joker used your real name. He instantly had your undivided attention with a single word.  

J sighed, “You remember that manila folder ya found at the beach house?” He knew you remembered when your eyes widened, however your mind drifted to other things.  

“How could I forget?”  

He smiled knowing what you were referring to. The time spent in the Vineyard, (where you earned your namesake) was special to Joker as well. Unfortunately, it was time to hit you with reality.  

“Someone’s been following you, Light.” 

“By the paparazzi? I’m used to that, J.” You laughed, trying to lighten the mood but Joker didn’t join in.  

“No Y/n. Someone with ties to my organization is following you around, makin’ threats, and putting my Light in danger. They tipped Two Face off about your address and they were lurkin’ in the crowd at Euphoria that night you went with your friends.”  

Joker gritted his teeth before resuming, “They tooK photos of you, wayyyy too close for my liking and the message is quite clear. I meanT what I said that day. I don’t want you going anywhere alone for the near future. If I lost you Y/n I...”  

He couldn’t even finish the thought. You were shocked to see Joker get emotional however before you could console him, he snapped right back to normal.  

The drastic change of emotions was disturbing to witness, and Joker noticed how you eyed him warily because of it. “I’m fiiiine, Y/n. Your safety is just so im-port-ant to me, I will literally lose it if you were hurt under my watch.” 

It took one look into Joker’s deranged eyes for you to believe him.  

J’s hands were still shaking as he craned your neck backwards to kiss you. It started out slow and built up to the point of Joker pushing you down on the bed, if not for your phone’s alarm effectively ruining the mood.  

Joker groaned as your hand blindly reached backwards to turn off your phone. J was nice enough to charge it for you when he brought you in from the car and you could see the multiple notifications covering up the screen. You saw dozens of text messages but for now, the most important notif, was your timer going off for therapy.  

You had long since forgotten about it given your stressful trip back home. A part of you didn’t want to go despite it being the right thing to do. You needed help healing from your past to move forward with your future. There was much to discuss if you went, yet you didn’t particularly appreciate Dr. Quinn’s approach to healing. Therapy was a good idea but perhaps the therapist in question was the problem. 

Your thoughts must’ve been visible to your dark clown. Joker read you liken an open book. “Are ya going?”  

“I-I don’t know. Something doesn’t feel right about my therapist though it could just be my bias towards doctors.” You huffed. That wasn’t completely true. Sarai was an excellent doctor, and she didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. You pouted while mulling it over.  

J hummed on your shoulder. “Want me to handle it?” His offhand comment made you laugh and finally give him the attention he wanted. You swatted at his head and met his mischievous eyes.  

Wait, he was actually serious. 

“Oh my God Joker you can’t keep ‘handling’ every little inconvenience in my life. Leave the poor woman alone. I’ll just call Mama and ask for another recommendation list while she fills me on the drama that you caused. I have no doubt that phone call will take a huge chunk of my day.”  

You heaved out a sigh before falling backwards onto the bed.  

When you opened your eyes, Joker was hovering over you, biting his lip with a sheepish grin. His hair was a bird’s nest framing his face and the color of it caught your attention. You reached up and curled a strand or two around your finger and tugged. “Hey. I thought you weren’t dying your hair anymore around me.”  

What a way to deflect the conversation. Joker let you change the subject (for now) and followed your light tugs in a playful manner.  

“Not so harrrd Bunny! I had ta look my best for a night on the towns! First impressions are everything ya know. What would your folks think if they saw me all natural?”  

He grinned down at your unamused face.  

“Joker. Do you really think my parents cared what color your hair was when you shot someone in front of us at Vincent’s? Did my dad care when you riddled him with rubber last night?” 

When you worded it that way, perhaps he screwed up on the first impressions. He would do better in the future if he ever got the chance to meet them again— under better circumstances of course.  

But back to your question. “Uhhhh.” Joker stuttered.  

“Don’t answer that. What’re you gonna do for the day?” You raked your nails through Joker’s neon green hair. Despite being freshly dyed, it was in a desperate need of a wash, having the texture of wet seaweed. Still, it was therapeutic for both you and J, so you didn’t stop your hand movement.  

Besides, he was practically purring from your ministrations. Your nails felt too good, and he laid down on your stomach slurring his speech.  

“Mmmmm gotta check up on the idiots and let’s see… cause some mischief.” J whined when you stopped playing with his hair. “Ohhh, don’t give me that look, Sugar. I’ll be back before ya know it. Unless.. gasp do you wanna go with me?” 

You rolled your eyes and resumed scratching his scalp.  

There was no way Joker would let you tag along with him especially after he just confessed you had a deranged stalker running around. Joker would be too busy being a menace to society to look after you properly. Even if you wanted some alone time with Joker, work always came first. But before he left...  

“Do you want me to cook you something before you go?” you asked.  

Joker would never turn down your home cooking and as expected, he fell for the trap. 

His stomach cried out before he could. “I’d looooooove that my Light.” He moved up to peck you on the lips. “Can I have French toast with ahhh... extra.. Sugar?” One kiss turned into two then three until you were at his mercy, desperate for more.  

His kisses trailed further and further down your body until you understood J’s intentions. He rubbed his scarred cheek along your hip bone as he pushed the sheets away from your body. 

So this is what he meant by extra sugar. At this rate, Joker wasn’t letting you out of bed. And who were you to deny yourself this pleasure? Soft mornings with Joker were a dime a dozen so you laid back and let him kiss and touch to his heart’s content. 

Breakfast could wait, Joker wanted dessert first.  

An hour later, you turned the stove off and pushed a hot plate of French toast across the kitchen island towards Joker. His eyes were aglow with mischief as you made a show of sprinkling an obscene amount of powdered sugar atop the dish.  

His comical snort was light as you walked past him, grabbing your phone as you went. “I’ll be in the living room.”  

“Thanks for breakfast, Sugar.” He called after you.  

Which one? you almost fired back.  

Only Joker could make such an innocent comment about breakfast be dirty. You kept your flustered smile to yourself while you dialed your mother’s number.  

You needed a clear head for this upcoming conversation.  

As the line rang, you reminded yourself; Act surprised, you don’t know anything that happened back home. It only took four rings until Mama’s worried voice answered and it took longer to reassure her that you were fine. 

“Mama calm down.. I’m okay. I just wanted to go home and—yes ma’am, I’m back in Gotham City. I um..” your eyes darted over to Joker still seated at the island counter.  

He locked eyes with you as he licked syrup off his fork. Your clit jumped remembering when his tongue did that exact same motion to it a few minutes ago. He was doing it on purpose, his smug grin confirmed it. This madman would be the death of you someday.  

You snapped out of your thoughts by your mother calling your name repeatedly.  

“Y-Yes ma’am, I’m still here. I took the subway back. Yes, I know it's not safe that time of night, but Uncle D didn’t quite understand the part where I said I can leave whenever I want. So I did. Mama, will you stop defending him?!” You paused to give her time to fill you in on the events you were already privy to.  

It was time for you to perform.  

“DAD WAS SHOT?!” You screamed. Joker gave you a thumbs up on your ‘totally believable reaction’ and you almost flipped him off as a result. It would be nice if J sat there and ate his food instead of distracting you.  

“Mama, slow down and start from the beginning! They did what now? Are they stupid or is they dumb? They went to meet with who?”  

Joker had long since finished eating his breakfast, but he stuck around to watch you pace the living room while on the phone. You were a great actress, adding in your (fake) reactions and sprinkling the awkward silence with gasps and exaggerated comments to make it sound genuine.  

He couldn’t help but to eavesdrop on your current topic.  

“I’m glad Uncle and Dad got Jr. back from T-The Joker. Yes! I was just as terrified as you were! I mean— The Joker was talking to me. What was I supposed to do? I um.. n-never met him before—just heard about him on the tv and stuff. Yeah, he’s absolutely insane..” You trailed off.  

Your heart was beating wildly as you fiddled with a stem of a potted houseplant. They needed to be watered soon. It was simply a distraction to keep yourself from turning around and seeing Joker’s reaction.  

Hopefully, he understood that you were saying all this to avoid any suspicion from your mother. You hated lying to her and wished she changed the subject but for someone who hated the guy, she could not stop talking about Joker. She mentioned the events that occurred at Vincent’s restaurant again and you mentally groaned the longer she dragged on.  

“Y-Yeah I know. Super scary. I know! I can’t get his laugh out my head either and his eyes..” Hopefully you sounded terrified and not enamored. It was already bad enough that you stuttered saying The before Joker in an effort to make him sound more formal to you.  

You froze when Mom said something bizarre. “They are kinda hot huh?” 

Clearly you heard that wrong since it was the last thing you expected Mom to say, regardless of the reputation the females in your family had with bad boys. It was so far left field, that it caught you off guard.  

You couldn’t blame her though. Joker’s eyes were otherworldly, and he knew that you were obsessed with them. It was just another deadly weapon that he could charm you with.  

You couldn’t help yourself from replying truthfully. “I mean, yeah. They’re so freaking hot. I could stare at them all day.. wait! We shouldn’t be lusting after a known psychopath Ma!” 

Mom’s carefree laugh set your mind at ease. “What’s the harm in a little delusional thinking sweetheart? Sure he’s f__king insane but he’s still hot if you squint hard enough. You think he’s a dom?” 

Why, yes mother. Yes, he is.  

This conversation was embarking into dangerous territory. You had to put an end to it before you said something you couldn’t take back.  

“Okay Mama! We are not going down that road today. Speaking of, um, c-can you send me another therapist recommendation list? The old one you gave me didn’t have any good fits.”  

Thankfully that got her attention off of Joker and just in time too. You could feel his ego getting bigger and bigger from across the room.  

Mom’s loud reply made you hold the phone away from your ear. “YOU’RE GOING TO THERAPY?! Oh, honey that’s wonderful!” She squealed. Getting mental help was always her goal for you, and she was happy that you were finally interested. 

“Um well I went to a few sessions but they didn’t pan out how I’d like them to.” 

Her joy quickly turned into motherly concern. If you were still at home, no doubt she would have you wrapped up in a warm hug. “Really from that list? Huh. Perhaps you could give Dr. Crane a try? I think he’s still practicing.” 

“Dr. Crane? Why does that name sound familiar?” You spun around when you heard Joker drop his plate. It cracked into jagged pieces at his feet, yet he didn’t react. He just stood frozen, staring at the mess.  

You couldn’t risk calling out to him, thus announcing to mom that someone else was with you. She would have a field day and demand to talk to whomever it was. That was a can of worms you did not want to open. But the phone call was still active and she made her presence known again. “Everything alright dear?” Your mom asked over the phone.  

You disregarded J’s odd antics, “Yeah something fell over in the kitchen. Um I’ll check and see if Dr. Crane is in network.” You frowned hearing an incoming call buzzing in. The name made you arch an eyebrow. “Hey Ma, is it okay if I call you back?” 

Not like you actually would, it was simply a Blüdhaven saying to get someone off the phone. Mama recognized it and rushed through her goodbyes. “Alright sweetheart! Me and dad love you!” 

She knew her mistake the moment that word escaped her mouth. There was no way you would say it back. Your reply was curt. “Thanks. You too.”  

Would you ever say I love you again? The probability was unlikely. You ended the call and answered the next one in a sour mood. “Hello?”  

The person on the other end gasped in shock, “Y/n! So you are alive!” 

“Hey Cindy.” 

“Let’s try that again without the attitude. Did someone forget that GothCon is fast approaching, and failed to send over their itinerary for the event?” She heard you groan over the phone. “Mmhm, you really thought I’d forget, Y/n?” 

Her phone call wasn’t a social one. She gave you months to procrastinate but time had run out.  

Cindy’s job was to ensure these public events went smoothly and that her client was doing their part. You threatened to give her grey hairs before thirty.  

 “I have yet to receive anything from you, Y/n. I have no idea what project you’re unveiling if you are presenting anything for that matter!” She said.  

You whined as you wandered over to the sunroom’s large glass doors.  

You had been putting off preparations for GothCon ever since you met Joker. It was the last thing on your mind given the way your life had completely turned upside down. You couldn’t believe it was almost time for the convention and you hadn’t informed your manager of your intentions.  

You could only imagine the catch-up work Cindy was going to dump on you. “I told you months ago to just secure me a forty five-minute main stage slot. I’ll do a big announcement, follow up with the meet-and-greet stuff and my booth appearance.” You whined.  

It was Cindy’s turn to voice her disappointment, albeit more refined than you. You could picture the businesswoman drumming her pristine nails on her desk. Cindy was a chronic perfectionist; surprises were out of the question. She had to know something about your big announcement. 

“That sounds great, Y/n. Your fans will love it. Now, are you announcing the movie deal because Bruce’s legal team sent over the contract ages ago and its sound on our end. I’m just waiting on you to sign off on it. Honestly. Have you checked your email lately? 

No. Your long-forgotten laptop sat closed on your desk for the past few weeks, mocking you. 

Joker dragged you from one drama to the next with little time for reprieve. The last thing on your mind was checking emails or writing despite Joker being the current muse for your WIP. You felt like such a cliché letting a man distract you from work.  

Just because you talked Cindy out of your deadline restriction didn’t mean you could fool around and not work at all. 

You had to write something and you were working on borrowed time. You looked back towards the kitchen and didn’t see J at the counter. If he had plans for the day, so could you. 

“Um. How about I stop by and sign the contract in person? How’s that?” You suggested to Cindy. “We can make a day of catching up! I’ll order lunch and we’ll plan my Con appearance together in great detail and make up for lost time.” 

You knew she wouldn’t pass up a day of productivity.  

“I can agree to these terms. Do you want me to send a car for you?”  

Any other day, you would’ve accepted the offer, that is until you remembered the G wagon that Joker bought you which was parked in the apartment garage. “Actually... no. I’ll drive.” 

Cindy tried to mask her laughter, “Pffft. You? Drive? Y/n, do you even have an ID? You know what? This is Gotham. I’ll see you when you get here.” 

You tried not to take offense to Cindy’s comment.  

You had an ID, you just considered driving as a last resort. Walking and the public subway were all you ever needed growing up. Even now, just thinking about driving was a task you weren’t looking forward to.  

A small part of you wanted to see if Sebastian could chauffeur you to Cindy’s office—yet you didn’t know if J vetted the concierge driver or not. It was better to drive yourself until that got sorted out.  

Thinking about the father of two reminded you to talk to Cindy about securing VIP tickets for Will. You made a promise to the young boy and you wanted to deliver on it. However, before you could do so, you had to get dressed. Cindy would flay you alive if you walked into her office wearing pjs.  

Joker was kind enough to let you wear a shirt of his. The day you planned with Cindy would be productive yet causal and you wanted an outfit that would reflect that. Then you remembered a sweater dress you hadn’t worn yet in the back of your closet. It would fit the crisp Gotham weather just fine while remaining stylish. The better question was if you had the perfect shoes to go with it.  

Joker was stepping out of the bathroom when he saw you speeding down the hall, headed straight into your bedroom. His first thought was grim.  

Running to your sanctuary always spelled bad news. The phone call with your mother must’ve gone south. He had already made plans to visit a few key hideouts around the city and get back on track of his organization. He had no time to stay and worry over you.  

Much to his amusement, you soon ran out of your private bedroom, only to brush past him and enter the guest bedroom without a word.  

Just what was his bunny up to? You looked like a woman on a mission. 

J leaned on the doorframe to watch you fling the closet doors open and frantically begin searching inside. Good thing he wisely moved all of his stashed weapons and illegal goods to a better hiding spot days ago. He wasn’t worried about you finding something dangerous, but he was still rather curious on what you were actually looking for.  

“You uhh need some help, pretty girl?”  

It took you a moment to acknowledge his presence behind you and when you did, your jaw dropped. Sweet Gaia: how did you walk past that? 

Joker was still damp from his shower and the black towel around his hips caught the remaining beads of water that raced down his chest. You watched one in rapt attention disappear past his v lines in slow motion. Another droplet soon entered the race and just like that, you were hypnotized. The wondrous view drew closer and closer as Joker came to a stop in front of you.  

He pushed your jaw closed with his index finger. “Eyes up here Princess.”  

The saucy nickname made you snap out of your daze. You took your time traveling up Joker’s body, drinking up his physique before meeting his gaze. Words escaped you he was so fine. “I um. I was.. I’m..” 

He admired your big eyes looking up at him from the floor. What he would do to have you like this every day, so docile and sweet. It was every man’s dream.  

“Use ya words, Bunny. I bet ya know soooooo many being a err, author n’ all.”  

His thumb reached down to brush against your lips and your lashes fluttered closed at the sensation. Joker was clearly messing with you, yet two could play this game.  

You huffed and turned back around to resume your search.  

“Um if you want to help, I’m looking f-for my snake boots. I want my outfit to pop when I go out today.”  

You made sure to lean forward so Joker could see your back arch just the way he liked. The shirt left little to the imagination and your efforts didn’t go to waste.  

The low growl behind you meant Joker liked what he saw; although, you weren’t expecting him to join you on the floor and begin searching inside the closet. You blinked in shock as he opened a shoe box, grumbled in disappointment when it wasn’t snake print, and toss the box aside before resuming the process again.  

He ruled out four boxes compared to your meager two. You weren’t sure what to make out of it. “J, you don’t have to help. Don’t you have plans today?”  

“And?” He flung a sandal box to the side. He was really invested in this.  

You would never get used to a domesticated version of Joker. The media made him out to be this insane maniac who killed for the fun of it. And while that was true, moments like this were sacred. You were the only person to see Joker in such a way. He looked so normal helping you find a needle in a haystack. Not once did he comment on the hoard of footwear in your spare closet. 

You were so caught up in the moment, you didn’t notice when Joker found the boots you were looking for. 

He read the brand name on the box and opened them just to be on the safe side. They were snake print but he wasn’t certain if they were the right ones you wanted. “Are these the— Y/n? Hey.”  

J snapped his fingers in your face. You jumped but he could tell you weren’t quite all there yet, so he nudged your leg with his foot. “What’s bothering ya Light?”  

Of course Joker would notice something was wrong. He was so perceptive; at times it bordered on being annoying. He would declare your thoughts silly, so you brushed them off.  

“Nothing. Thanks for finding my shoes. Um.. I’m going to Cindy’s office to go over the GothCon details. I-Is that okay?” 

Joker sighed to himself as he set the shoe box down. Just because he told you about your mysterious stalker didn’t mean you weren’t allowed to live your life. You didn’t have to ask for permission to do things. Joker refused to be your ex and trap you into another toxic relationship.  

You looked so shy, staring off to the side and biting your lip. That just wouldn’t do in Joker’s book.  

He knew you weren’t in a right mindset, and he didn’t want to trigger your PTSD with any sudden movements, so he held his hand up for you to see before caressing your face. “You can go annnny-where you want, no need to ask, mkay?” Joker calmly said. ‘I’m not him.’ he mentally added.  

You leaned into J’s calloused palm with a sigh, “If I don’t, then how will my security team know where I’m going?”  

Joker fixed you with a look. Surely you weren’t that daft?  

As if Joker’s security personnel needed to be notified in order to protect you efficiently. They watched over you like a shadow, as if their very life depended on it. Given that Joker was their employer, it probably was. The severity of how much Joker valued your safety hit you full force.  

His eyes in shades of jade and mint, bore into yours right there on the bedroom floor. Joker was doing everything in his power to protect you despite being the source of your troubles. 

You couldn’t wrap your head around why people labelled him a monster.  

Joker was a man with feelings just like the average Joe. He was capable of love and loving hard; a shame you were unable to reciprocate. Joker deserved someone who could match his devotion. He needed someone that wasn’t damaged like you.  

How ironic that Joker was the normal one in this relationship.  

The sudden swirl of negative thoughts made you feel worse than you already were about this torrid affair. Your eyes burned with incoming tears and Joker’s brows furrowed in concern upon seeing them. “Bun?” 

You cleared your throat and grabbed the shoe box off the floor, standing up faster than the Flash.  

The tables had indeed turned; you were now the one looking down at Joker kneeling on the floor. You felt the urge to flee the situation, and you wisely listened to your instincts. 

“I should take a shower and um.. head to Cindy’s office.” Each word was heavy with emotion and Joker was ready to cancel his plans to console his girl. You didn’t give him a chance.  

Joker called out your name but you were already halfway down the hall and the familiar sound of your bedroom door slamming closed echoed throughout the apartment. A sound that Joker dreaded more than anything.  

Joker thought the two of you were past hiding and poor communication, but old habits die hard. You shut Joker out and he had no other choice but to respect your privacy and hope that you emerged from your room in a better mood by the time he came home.  

The black wooden door of your bedroom was the Berlin Wall between you and Joker, and he would do anything to tear it down for the last time.  

Joker sighed in defeat before beginning to dress for the long day ahead. There was much to do and the quicker it was over, the sooner he could return and dote on his Light. 

The long drive to Cindy’s office gave you time to clear your head. You didn’t know what came over you back at the penthouse. Your emotions were all over the place and you didn’t mean to push Joker away like that.  

The morning started out well, amazing even, and you went and screwed it up all over nothing. You wanted to bash your head against the steering wheel for letting your past habits and mannerisms dictate your present love life.  

Just another example of how Joker didn’t deserve someone with your erratic and unhealthy emotions.  

Maybe it was a bad idea to skip therapy today. You clearly had a lot to work on. It was too late for you to try and make it now. You just had to suck up the fact that you were a terrible person and a horrible lover.  

By the time you got dressed and left your bedroom, Joker was long gone.  

You wanted to apologize in person but a well-placed note was left on the foyer table that caught your eye. Joker’s surprisingly legible handwriting was a welcome sight.  

Not mad at ya. 

A comic little bunny was drawn next to his initial and it made you smile just a tad. Joker knew how to lift your spirits, and you left the penthouse in a better mood.  

You pulled up to a red light and glanced through your rearview mirror. The unmarked SUV kept its distance a few cars behind you in traffic. It had been following you ever since you left your apartment garage. Joker’s goons were standing on business when it came to your protection. Not even congestion or other drivers cutting you off stopped them from performing their duty.  

You were a little scared the first ten minutes until they flashed their lights as a sign of peace. Much to your surprise, it was a modified green and purple LED before switching back to the standard white.  

You rolled your eyes at the lengths your lunatic lover would go to ensure your safety. Each sweet gesture made you feel guilty about your attitude towards J earlier and in general. You really had to do better.  

You shook your head as you reached the security gate at your publisher’s office.  

The security guard, TJ, waved at you in greeting and granted you access to the reserved parking area. The SUV following you had seemingly disappeared. You weren’t concerned since you knew they were somewhere lurking in the shadows, watching your every move.  

You turned off the engine and took a minute to collect your thoughts.  

“Clear your head Y/n. Cindy is like a bloodhound. No need to give her ammo.” You whispered to yourself.  

Just like Joker, Cindy would instantly notice something was wrong and pester you relentlessly until you fessed up, and you couldn’t let her find out about J. She’d have the police en route the second you uttered his name.  

Cindy was far too much of an upstanding citizen to even consider your views of Joker. She would question your sanity and label you a Stockholm syndrome victim if given the chance. You had to erase Joker from your mind if you were going to survive today.  

“Nothing is wrong. I am single and nothing is going wrong in my life. Alright, let’s do this.”  

With a confident nod, you stepped out of your vehicle and began walking inside. 

Parked further down the street, a hooded figure watched you disappear inside the building before reporting in. “She’s walking in now.” 

Across town, Joker was outside one of his various Burnley hideouts on a smoke break. Just because he was working did not mean he couldn’t multitask and dote on his Goddess. He expected updates on your safety in real time— now more than ever. He inhaled one last puff from his cigarette before flicking it away. “Good. Stay sharp.” 

It was time for him to head back inside and face his crew.  

Joker hung up and locked eyes with a man who was approaching him in the hall. There were perks of being Joker’s right-hand man. The most important one, Frost could say and do certain things that would normally get others killed. He nodded in greeting before walking alongside his old friend, silently but openly judging. 

There was much to do with the weekend fast approaching— however it was barely lunchtime. Frost wasn’t expecting to see Joker until sundown, if at all today. The fact that Joker was here was enough for Frost to give him the side eye.  

“Hm, I know that look. What’s err.. on ya mind Frosty?” Joker sang.  

“You are. What’re you doing here, Boss?” Frost asked.  

Joker cast a dark glare at his right-hand man. Frost was far too uptight to engage in idle chatter, so J saw right through the question. Not like he would delve in an honest answer. “Awww! Thinkin’ of little ol’ me? I’m uh flattered.”  

What a way to dodge the question. Frost snorted and jabbed the down button on the elevator panel.  

The abandoned warehouse looked decrepit on the outside, but years of money laundering and Mac’s excellent bookkeeping skills allowed the entire interior to be fully renovated. This particular hideout was the second best in the organization and Joker’s personal favorite to date. He was unable to secure his main location in the heart of Amusement Mile from the GCPC since there was still an active manhunt for him.  

They could look all they wanted. Joker was hiding in plain sight, and he had you to thank for such a feat. His Light provided more than shelter; you offered him a home.  

And Frost could see the positive impact that had on Joker.  

A calm aura had settled over the dark clown. Joker was slower to anger, and Frost could see a ghost of a smile peeking through the indifferent mask his boss tended to wear. You were a blessing for Joker and his volatile temperament.  

Showing up at the hideout during its current crisis would ruin your months of arduous work in seconds. It was in Frost’s (and everyone’s) best interest to ward Joker away. Going about it would prove to be difficult.  

The two men boarded the elevator, and Frost spoke up as the doors closed. “If I were you, I’d be spending the day with B, not cooped up underground, stirring up trouble.” 

“Watch it Frost.” J said in warning despite it being empty. Frost knew how far he could push J’s buttons so he went a bit further.  

“Just sayin’ boss. Today’s a good day to make up for a date that someone promised a certain someone. Something about a ‘night she’ll never forget?’ Some lie that turned out to be.” 

Quick thinking on Frost’s part prevented him from being punched in the face and Joker barely felt the white-hot pain of his fist hitting the metal walls. He was more upset that he missed than his busted knuckles.  

“I. Got. The. Message.” Joker growled.  

The elevator was a small space, yet Frost managed to create enough distance long enough for the doors to ding open and escape unharmed. He was wise to leave while he was still alive, yet he still had much to say. “I bet you do J. Mac’s in his office.” He said over his shoulder.  

Joker gave him a deadpan ‘so?’ look.  

Honestly, Frost did not get paid enough for this. Did he have to spell it out for the man? Apparently so. Frost sighed and did just that.  

“The master planner and the finance guy should be able to come up with something memorable for Y/n. She more than deserves it after everything you’ve done.”  

Frost sent his boss a knowing glare before he disappeared down the hall. Joker was left standing in the elevator, lost in the sea of his own thoughts.  

What if you found out about all the horrors that he’d done? Would you still love him? Was it all worth it in the end if you left him? Joker’s hands shook as he considered the unthinkable and his eyes quickly scanned the area to check if he was alone.  

No one could see him in a rare moment of weakness as he battled his inner demons.  

He mashed the button to close the elevator doors and struggled to catch his breath. Joker was smart. When he wanted something to disappear; it did. He covered his tracks and then burned all evidence to it. He shouldn’t have to worry about the what ifs, yet they suddenly hit him full force.  

In an ideal world, you would never find out what Joker did, nor would you accuse him if his misdeeds ever saw the light of day. There was nothing to panic about. He was just overreacting!  

God, he hoped he was just overreacting.... 

Joker nodded to himself, wiped the blood from his knuckles, and exited the elevator.  

Following Frost’s advice, Joker schooled his features and approached Mac’s humble office. Joker didn’t need to knock; he was the boss after all, yet he wasn’t expecting his bookkeeper to be preoccupied upon entry.  

J arched an eyebrow at the blissfully unaware blond twirling around like a schoolboy in his office chair.  

“Nah baby, you got enough flowers. Why don’t I pull up later and give you something we both know you want?” Mac smiled into his phone and was mid spin when he noticed his boss standing in the doorway. The sight could make anyone have a heart attack and Mac was no different. “Oh shhhh.. I’ll call you back!”  

Hopefully Morgana would forgive him for hanging up so abruptly. Right now, he needed to save face in front of his employer and avoid a premature death.  

Mac sat up and scrambled to look the poised, savvy businessman he was. His awkward wave was the icing on the failure cake. “Sup Boss.”  

Joker could care less. Morgana was an uncertain piece to Joker’s current dilemma. He expected Mac to hit it off with the florist after being assigned to shadow her. He didn’t trust her just yet and he wasn’t dumb enough to let her roam Gotham City freely after discovering you were dating The Joker.  

J was wise enough to manipulate his men into watching your friends on his behalf. The same precautions were enforced for Florence by Neo and Joker hoped that Mac didn’t repeat history.  

You would undoubtedly notice if Morgana went missing and with it, Joker’s credibility would shatter. He could not lose his Light. End of discussion.  

For now, J would have to starve off his need to cut loose ends.  

Your friend was safe until proven a threat and judging by Mac’s romantic pursuit, she wouldn’t be.  

He just hated playing nice with others. It was still a new concept to him. “Oh, do call her back, I insist.” J cooed. Today was a good day to start practicing.  

Mac was justified in being cautious. The eerie smile on Joker’s face put him on edge. “You— you want me to call Morgana back? Uhh why?”  

Blue eyes watched as Joker plopped down in the nearby chair and started fiddling with the various objects on the desk. Mac knew that Joker was stalling, it was his favorite scare tactic. When J picked up a costly paperweight, Mac had to interrupt.  

“Sir. Is there a reason, or do you simply wish to harass the poor woman further? I told you; Morgana will keep her mouth shut. She’s too loyal to Y/n.”  

“What’s loyalty hm? Soo~ooo easily bro-K-en.” Joker mumbled.  

He broke the trinket to prove a point and failed numerous times to place it back on the desk the way it was before. Mac had no other choice but to sigh in resignation watching his loony boss make things worse. That was a collector’s item reduced to scrap pieces.  

J knew firsthand how infatuation could blind people to the truth.  

Loyalty could be bought and sold as quickly as the wind changed direction. Soon he would put Morgana to the ultimate test but today, his request would be tame.  

If only lover boy would follow instructions.  

Joker finally got the broken pieces to stay still long enough to look intact. It fell apart a second later. Neither Joker nor Mac cared at this point. “Call. Her. Back.” Joker demanded.  

The room was silent as the two men engaged in a staring contest yet early on, it was clear who would win. Mac caved when the venomous green became too much to bear. He dialed Morgana back and put the phone on speaker— while silently praying the call didn’t turn sour.  

Just as he expected, she was not happy.  

“You got some nerve pretty boy calling back after that lil stunt! You can go ahead and kiss your rights to this pussy goodbye. Are you always this arrogant or is it generic with you snobby socialites? Hello? Oh, so now you don’t wanna speak? That’s fine.”  

Both men could hear her crudely cutting something in the background, most likely with her garden shears, and it didn’t sound pretty. Mac looked distressed the longer Morgana continued her one-sided rant. 

She added insults far more creative than Joker could ever imagine and he decided to intervene to save Mac’s ego.  

He started by clearing his throat, “Hi…..” There was a brief pause before Morgana groaned into the mic.  

“Oh. It’s you. Please don’t tell me you killed Mac and taken his phone? I can’t get a refund on our dinner reservations if he’s a no-show. Matter of fact... do you like Peruvian?”  

It was no wonder why you liked Morgana so much. She was so unbothered and detached from drama compared to your other friends.  

She boldly talked to the Clown Prince of Crime like it was an average day for her. Joker could get used to her sense of humor if he tried. Then he reminded himself that trying was his only option.  

“He’s fiiiiiine errr.. more or less. That’s noT why I called. Ya see, I need a favor and you’re just the girl to help.” He was offended by her automatically disagreeing.  

“I’m not Poison Ivy. If you don’t require my legal business or any help with Y/n, you got the wrong girl.” 

Joker licked his teeth, mulling over her audacity.  

Morgana was acting cheeky as if he wouldn’t harm her. It would not be a hassle to make the short journey to her storefront and teach her how people should talk to The Joker.  

Mac must’ve seen the idea forming in his boss’ mind, for he leaned over the desk and re-entered the conversation.  

“Hey baby. I never took you as someone to turn down a potential business deal. Just hear him out.” 

Morgana sighed knowing that Mac knew something she didn’t. To save her hide, she changed her tune.  

She put down her shears and retreated into her backroom, far away from any customer’s earshot. “Fine, what business does a known psychopathic murderer want with my humble flower shop?” 

Joker snorted. Morgana’s shops were anything but humble. Lavish maybe.  

She had a partnership with EverFresh, (a mega supermarket) for Pete's sake, but he wasn’t going to argue. All that was on Joker’s mind was the night he wished to create for his Light and he would do anything necessary to make it happen since he failed twice now to deliver.  

It would be easier to demand and steal to get his way, but his Light would frown upon that. Joker would have to do this the hard way and unfortunately, that would take some time. 

“I would uh li-Ke....” J glanced at Mac for guidance and the blond quickly wrote on a legal pad for his boss to read. “I would like to.. order a custom floral arrangement.” J read back robotically.  

Mac didn’t know if the delivery would be enough to sway the florist. Joker clearly didn’t make it sound believable.  

Tense seconds passed where both men waited for Morgana’s response, and it came in the form of her laughter. “Now you’re speaking my language!”  

You stepped off the elevator and was promptly greeted by a new secretary seated at the front desk.  

Someone higher up must’ve let her know who you were since she didn’t stop you and ask for credentials. You were free to walk in as if you owned the place. In a way, you did.  

You were the most successful author signed within the publishing house. None of the other contracted authors were killing the game like you. You were Cindy’s pride and joy, and she made that wildly known within the firm. 

You kept your eyes straight on the path to her frosted monogrammed doors. 

People roamed about the large office space, working and mingling, yet it was all background noise to you. The goal was to avoid any interaction and especially with Cindy’s brash and all-around creepy business partner, Thomas Ford.  

He was bound to be lurking around this time of day.  

All these years and he still did not get the hint that you weren’t interested. You thought Bruce’s brief relationship of sorts with you would end any future encounters, but alas, nothing would deter this guy.  

The second you tip-toed pass Thomas' door; it opened in earnest. “Y/n! Long time to see!”  

His booming voice must be the source of many headaches around the firm. Nevertheless, you were taught manners and (regrettably) stopped in your tracks to reply. You turned with a tight smile masking your displeasure. “Mr. Ford..” You said curtly.  

Despite being notorious for eloquent word play, your brain conveniently decided to short circuit now of all times. Words failed you, as if Thomas noticed or cared. He simply stepped outside his door, leaning on the frame. 

“Now Y/n, we’ve known each other long enough for you to call me Thomas, unless you have a thing for titles then I totally understand.” He blocked the way to Cindy’s office and sent you a sly wink.  

Was that supposed to flatter you? 

If he didn’t reek of sexual harassment, you would have a better opinion of the man. He was decent looking, like any corporate male in a suit and tie would be you supposed. Joker had truly corrupted your view of the average male. Normal just didn’t cut it anymore. 

In any case, you were tired of men not knowing how to accept rejection, especially Thomas. “Riiiight. Um if you would excuse me, I have a meeting with Cindy.” 

“I’m afraid she stepped out.” 

The sentence made you stumble a bit in your heels. Surely you heard him incorrectly, but he looked rather confident while watching your clumsy reaction unfold. 

You blinked a mile a minute trying to reboot your system and as a result, your Blüdhaven accent slipped out a bit. “Whatchu mean she ‘stepped out’? I just hit her up this morning!” 

Thomas was taken aback hearing the sudden dialect, but he replied after a brief pause. “Cindy left over an hour ago. I’m afraid you’ll have to wait here with me. If you want, we can catch a lunch together.” He stopped to leer at your body, “Or dessert.” 

Ew. “No thank you.” You said bitterly. You did not need this buffoonery this early in the day.  

You walked off and continued your journey, halfheartedly greeting others on your way to Cindy’s office when you couldn’t ignore them outright. Things seemed normal until you pushed the glass doors open and realized that the room was empty. She really wasn’t here.  

It didn’t make any sense to you. Cindy never left her office unless lunch wasn’t available for delivery and a runner was unable to pick it up. You jokingly scolded her once for not evacuating during a fire alarm so the notion that she just ‘up and left’ wasn’t clicking in your mind.  

Something wasn’t right here. You were about to dial her number when Thomas startled you from behind.  

“Is there something wrong, Y/n?”  

You yelped and faced the imposing male smiling down at you.  

You were used to his creepy behavior but today it was freaking you out even more. You weren’t expecting him to follow you in here and why didn’t you hear the door closing?  

You backed away, instinctively drifting towards the exit. “N-No, I’m just.. I’m calling Cindy.” 

“Why?”  

You fixed him with a sour glare, “Because! I don’t believe you and c-can you... please back up?” He ignored your request and rounded the decorative glass table holding published books to get closer to you. “Why? Does my presence bother you that much honeydew?” Thomas laughed.  

You froze in fear upon hearing the familiar nickname and your phone slipped from your hand, falling onto the floor.  

Thomas watched it fall and was about to tease you further for being a klutz when the office doors opened.  

Cindy walked in and immediately her eyes landed on her business partner. “What the…? Why are you in my office Ford?” She tossed her purse down and marched her way over.  

A few seconds passed before she noticed you kneeling on the floor with your hands covering your ears. “Oh my god, Y/n? Are you alright!?” She reached your side and looked you over. You were breathing erratically, shaking your head.  

When she received no response, she unleashed her ire. Her target was the man looking rather innocent while you slipped into a panic attack. “WHAT DID YOU DO?” She demanded.  

Thomas had the audacity to look offended. “Me? I didn’t do anything! I was just talking—” 

“F__k that. GET OUT. I’ll deal with you later.” She doted on you and gently smoothed your hair down but looked up when she didn’t hear Thomas leaving. He was still standing there watching you freak out.  

“Are you deaf? Get out or do I need to call security to help you?” Her threat pumped enough wind in his sails and she watched him go with narrowed eyes. Hearing your pitiful whimper redirected her focus back to you. “Hey. Y/n it's okay, he’s gone.” 

She waved her assistant away when they tried to walk in. Cindy didn’t want to anyone to see you in such a vulnerable state. She was completely out of her depth on how to handle this and needed reinforcements. “Is there anyone I can call for you?” 

You almost responded yes, but how would you explain that you wanted Cindy to call The Joker of all people to come to your rescue?  

He was the only person you wanted right now but his mere presence would only create more problems, so you shook your head in the negative.  

You knew you were scaring Cindy with your unusual behavior. She was used to your mellow and socially awkward nature whenever you visited the office but never this.  

You came here to work on finalizing your GothCon appearance not to have another mental breakdown in your manager’s office.  

These episodes were becoming increasingly more frequent, and you hated feeling powerless to stop them. Something had to change. You couldn’t let dark memories and harmless words keep triggering you like this.  

You had to take the initiative, starting now.  

You took a deep breath and started slapping your face to regain control of yourself. Cindy jumped, watching the assault take place. “Uh? Y/n?”  

“What? No, I-I'm fine.” You flinched away feeling her hand unexpectedly land on your arm. She noticed and let it drop just as quickly as she offered it.  

An awkward silence enveloped the room, and Cindy was the brave person to cut the tension. She didn’t know how to address this but pressed on anyhow. 

“Y/n? Did he?” She paused, not liking how you visibly bristled. “Did Thomas hurt you?” 

What a loaded question. Would she even do anything if you told her that Thomas, her business partner for years, was an overall creep and constantly harassed you?  

Cindy might be a close friend, but she was a businesswoman first, stuck in a man’s world.  

Men like Thomas were never the problem, instead it was the female who complained that received backlash. He would laugh off your accusations, calling it harmless banter and the trouble that went to speaking up, would only come back to haunt you. There would be awkward tension between you and Cindy and the executives of the publishing house—that Thomas was conveniently a member of.  

Ford took you as the type of male to abuse his power and you read many a tale about how the victims were scorned by powerful men. He would make your life miserable for daring to speak the truth.  

You refused to let Thomas ruin your career and life all because of a few ‘harmless comments.’  

You knew the system well enough to know unless things became physical, (with proper evidence) complaining would do nothing.  

With that mindset you were resigned to keep quiet but not for long. You had a special card up your sleeve.  

Cindy called your name and repeated her question on the off chance that you might’ve not heard it.  

Instead of answering, you brushed imaginary dust from your sweater dress and rose from the floor. “Anyhoo, I was thinking, a big movie announcement followed by a controlled Q&A slot. Maybe five to ten minutes and then round out the allotted presentation time with a new book teaser.” 

You made yourself comfortable on her meeting couch and continued to brainstorm aloud only to be interrupted. 

“Y/n.. I asked you a question.” Cindy was flabbergasted at how you easily brushed off her concern. In her eyes, your flippant attitude raised major red flags and after your visit, she would be investigating her business partner thoroughly to get some answers.  

Right now, she was worried about you. It wasn’t like you to dismiss things so casually. Although you made your intentions clear with a fixed glare.  

“Cindy... I am here to sign contracts and finalize the convention details. I do not have enough spoons left for anything else.”  

Your voice cracked about halfway through, and you could tell when Cindy understood just how close you were to walking out.  

You wanted her to stick to the script. As your manager she could play along and act professional—but Cindy considered herself your friend. She could tell this was seriously bothering you more than it should.  

It pained her to ignore the elephant in the room but if this was your way of coping, so be it.  

Cindy cleared her throat and went to grab her tablet from off her desk before joining you back on the couch, sitting across from you. “Right. Um... New book teaser! Let’s talk about that.” 

You were grateful for the change of subject and relaxed into your role as her client. Sure enough, as the hour passed, things settled into a good rhythm although Cindy still kept a weary eye on you.  

Lunch and mindless paperwork out of the way, she opened her arms for a goodbye hug, only for you to shy away and scramble out her office without a word.  

Cindy tried not to be offended; you were always weird about physical contact. She just thought today would be different. You looked like you needed a shoulder to lean on.  

Nevertheless, Cindy waited a few minutes for you to leave the building before she made a phone call. It rang for a bit until a cheery voice answered.  

Cindy didn’t waste anytime getting to the point. “Hey Barb. Something is wrong with Y/n. Fill me in on what you know.”  

[emicat1159]

So I wanted to try out some creative writing with this new auuuuuu~ gave it a cool name, "Into Ashes", not too bad right? To start of I thought to write a few paragraphs about how the main three angels- Mike, Gabe, and Raph, are told that they are to travel to a different universe and see what's there. Maybe I'll have one or two others go with them, I dunno yet. Something simple like that as a little test, you could say.. I don't know what I'm doing honestly but hey! It's fun

Anyway, writing and art:

"Listen, my son. I have an important task for you and your brothers.

There exists a world which has been abandoned by its Lord.

Go to this world, Michael. See what can be salvaged"

The final words his father spoke to him echoed through Michael's mind as he descended through the highest Heavens down to where his brothers awaited him. The skies swirled with purple and blue hues, illuminated by the stars and the ophanim who held together the galaxies. A sight he wasn't privileged to often, his work within heaven rarely gave him any free time to explore their skies the way he could when he was younger. And yet, he still felt like a young child when lifted by father's hand, as if he never left his light all those millennia ago. He tries to not think too deeply about those times.

'A rare event' he thought to himself, 'father hasn't spoken to any of us in centuries' he straightened out his suit, still wearing it after returning from a mission down on earth, he hadn't had the time to change before being summoned to his father's throne.

'I might even be completely camouflaged against the colour of the heavens right now, perhaps they won't even notice my return' he thought, amused.

Passing through the golden gates that lead to the throne of his father and into the archangels' domain, the figures of the two younger angels appeared through the thick layers of cloud. Raphael, the fourth oldest of the angels welcomed his brother back with a warm smile, his halo glowing brightly behind his head. Gabriel- the third oldest- walked up to Michael, being the first to break the silence,

"I almost thought you'd never come back down to us!" He joked, absentmindedly twirling a lock of his long hair in his hand

'A nervous tic' Michael mused

"You were gone for quite a while" added Raphael

Gabriel began again, "so... what does father want from us? It must be quite important if he asked to speak to you in person"

And so the eldest began his account of the events from the past few hours.

"We are to travel to another realm, a world that has been forsaken to ruin by its God and left to its own devices. He did not tell me what to expect, and really, this is the last thing I expected...." he trailed off, his expression perplexed, just what was his father's plan this time?

"Wh- huh? And.. how are we to get to this world?" Raphael's voice chimed in, bewilderment written all over his face. His short fluffy ears swaying as he turned his head to look back at the eldest.

"I... assume he will somehow transport us there once we are suitably prepared..?" He wasn't so sure in his answer, it wasn't unusual for his father's words to be vague. Regrettably, this is the one time Michael wishes they weren't. However, he was raised to trust in his God and His abilities.

To accept the way things are and not to question anything.

Gabriel spoke once more before turning to head back down to the lower levels of Heaven

"Well then.. no time like the present to get ourselves ready, right?"

[topazshadowwolf]

I feel like for the whole season of halloween Killer and Cross are gonna be tortured, because Horror already loves jumpscaring people and doesn't need an excuse to do it and now that Dust knows Killer's scared of ghosts you know he's going to be hanging up lil ghost decorations around every corner and doorway to get him. Cross will be caught in the middle a lot knowing his luck (and there will almost certainly be a cow at some point)

I know you sent this a while ago and I tried to make a story from this but couldn't think of one. I did get a different random idea for a story that I will put under the cut along with an AO3 version. That said. Much of what you said is true of Halloweens when they are mindful of the time of the year. Now, on to the little Halloween surprise I had. It just popped into my head after Trick-or-Treating finished, so sorry it is so late.

AO3

Happy Halloween!

---

Nightmare looked at his pocket watch and frowned. “Ah… it is almost time. Horror?”

“yes, boss?” Horror replied, looking up from the stove.

“We have some candy, correct?” Nightmare inquired.

“candy? what do we need candy for?” Killer asked as he turned his attention from cutting up ingredients to his boss.

“i mean… boss, it is the thirty-first, but… s’not like we’ll get tricker-treaters out here,” Cross pointed out.

“wait, is it halloween?!” Killer groaned. “and here i could have been watching scary movies all day.”

“we can still watch something later,” Horror replied and then pointed to the cupboard. “third shift, behind the cans where cross won’t look.”

“what?!” Cross meeped, and Killer grinned.

“we all know about that sweet tooth of yours. s’worse than dust’s when it comes to chocolate,” Killer chuckled, then looked back at Nightmare.

“The multiverse is an odd place,” Nightmare mused as he dug around in the cupboard and pulled out a bag of candy. He then grabbed a bowl and poured some in. All three watched as Nightmare started to leave the room and walk down the hall.

“okay… i vote we follow. horror, kill the heat under dinner; we need to see what this is about. cross, get dust, quick,” Killer ordered.

“on it!” Cross replied, and with that, the three were in action. Horror and Killer were soon following Nightmare a few steps behind. Cross caught up with a shortcut, dragging Dust behind him.

“what’s this about,” Dust muttered with a yawn.

“boss asked for candy,” Killer explained.

“ooookay, and we are following him… why?” Dust frowned.

“he said it was almost time,” Horror answered.

“almost time for what?” Dust questioned.

“exactly,” Killer answered, then called ahead. “mind answering that, boss? or are you going to say something mysterious again?

“Just know… there are things even I can not explain,” Nightmare answered.

Cross gestured to Dust in a way that meant ‘see?’ “first, it’s halloween night. second, he said it is almost time, and it is almost 5 p.m., often when trick-or-treating starts. and third, he asked for candy,” Cross explained.

“but this… that… what?” Dust frowned, “this isn’t even an au, and we are the only ones here? does he expect us to trick-or-treat our own home, does he?”

“Heavens, no, you four are adults and should be well past Trick-or-Treating,” Nightmare replied.

“but not too old to write letters to santa?” Killer giggled.

“Did you not like your gifts? I can ask for him to take them back if you are displeased,” Nightmare said, glancing back over his shoulder with a glare.

“nah, boss, i liked them,” Killer quickly replied.

“Then just watch,” the dark guardian answered as he arrived at the main doors and set the bowl on a table. He then looked at his pocket watch again. “Just in time. It is now seventeen hundred; Trick-or-Treating starts now.”

They all stood there in silence as they waited… and waited… Nightmare pulled a book out of his hoodie and started reading as Killer, and the others stood there watching. Killer turned to the others and giggled, before saying in a joking manner, “guess we aren’t the first house."

“Apparently, not this year,” Nightmare replied calmly.

“nightmare isn’t the type to do something for no reason,” Dust said, and Killer had to admit he was right.

“Hm? Ah, he is here…,” Nightmare said with a smile, then placed his bookmark and closed his book.

That was when there was a knock on the door, and the four jumped. Killer felt his eyelights light as he stared at the doors, watching as Nightmare picked up the bowl and opened them. The four slowly moved forward as if fearful, and honestly, they were. After all, it is not every day someone breaks through Nightmare’s barrier. In fact, the only way they know for that to happen is if someone is stronger than Nightmare, if they had a contract, or were accepted.

Which was it with this one?

Just outside was a small Frisk, holding a bag that rattled with the sound of candy as he held it up. “Twick-or-tweat!” The child loudly announced in the cutest voice one could imagine from someone dressed up as a Pikachu.

“Well, look at you. Dressed up as one of those Pocket Mans this year?” Nightmare asked, and Killer cringed with the others.

“it’s pokemon, boss,” Killer muttered softly.

“Uh-huh, I’mma Pikachu!” the boy proudly announced.

“So scary,” Nightmare held the bowl out to the boy. “Here you go, take a nice handful. I suspect you will be my only visitor again this year.”

“Awww, sowwy you don’t have any visitows,” The child then brightened up. “Youw home is awways the most decowated for Hawwoween!”

“i don’t know if i’m weirded out or finding this overly adorable,” Killer whispered to Cross.

“same,” Cross whispered back.

They watched the child take some candy and then turn to leave, “T���ank you, Nightmawe!” He disappeared through a shadowy portal and silence turned to this fragment of an AU. Nightmare sighed and then set the bowl back down before closing the door. When he turned, the guardian looked at Killer and the rest, and he actually looked surprised. “What?”

“you are asking us that?!” Killer burst and then waved his hand to the door and then bowl. “what was that about?! you have a contract with some random frisk to let him come and get candy from you on halloween night?!”

“No, that is ridiculous. The child just appears on his own accord,” Nightmare frowned.

“so… that tiny kid, dressed in a costume, breaks through the barrier every year on halloween?” Dust clarified.

“Exactly,” Nightmare replied as he picked up the bowl and started walking.

“who is he?” Horror asked.

“I do not know. I just know he showed up one year. I tried to kill him but could not harm him… he just laughed and thought it was a trick. Year after year, it happened until finally… when I had control of my corruption, I finally learned about this All Hallow’s Eve, or Halloween as you say,” He came to a stop and looked back at them. “I tried ignoring him, and he toilet-papered my castle, among other things. So, I then tried giving him a treat, and since then, we have been at peace. Every year, sometime in the evening, he arrives, I give him candy, and then he leaves.”

The four stared at Nightmare, shocked. Nightmare then turned and again said, “As I have said before: There are many things in the Multiverse that even I can not explain.”

[callivich]

calli my beloved, i am on my hands and knees asking if you have any additional musings on that brothel au. please i am starving. a crumb, i beg 😔🤲🏻

Ray! 😍🥰💖 I do have lots of long-winded thoughts (when don’t I? 😅) so here are some ramblings….

Version 1

Ian’s new to the job and he’s liking it so far. He has a nice little reception area behind a screen and he can play on his phone using the brothel wifi when there’s no customers. He deals with the customers, or ‘clients’, but has rarely seen the ‘employees’. His boss is rarely around. It’s a nice, clean place which Ian really wasn’t expecting. It’s not luxurious or upmarket but it’s definitely not a terrible place.

Ian is having a tough time. He wants a relationship but he feels a bit naive/embarrassed about all that stuff because he’s inexperienced/has no experience. He spent a lot of his teenage years dealing with his diagnosis and he feels he’s missed out now in his early twenties.

He goes on Grindr and tries to hookup but he has a bad experience with a guy who makes fun of his lack of experience. It puts him off and so he’s staying away from that for the time being.

The brothel has a book with information and pictures of all of the employees. Ian has looked at it and was instantly attracted to Mickey (there’s info about him and what he will/won’t do and a very attractive pic of his face). But he hasn’t met him yet.

It’s a bit of a meet ugly situation at first when Ian accidentally books a client when Mickey already has a booking. So he gets an annoyed Mickey stomping downstairs in the ugliest robe Ian’s ever seen, asking Ian “what the fuck do you think you’re doing double booking? I don’t do spit-roasts, dumbass”.

Ian is a little bit scared but a lot turned on. He promises not to get the bookings wrong again.

He thinks he won’t see Mickey again but Mickey appears the next shift when he’s got no bookings. He sort of interrogates Ian in a joking way and they begin to have regular chats - Mickey in his robe that is barely tied properly, always sitting a little too close and smelling a little too delicious.

Ian shares and/or Mickey kinda guesses Ian’s inexperience. Mickey says that anytime Ian wants to try anything out or learn something, Mickey will teach him. Ian thinks Mickey is joking but he’s not.

He thanks Mickey for the offer but says no thanks.

Then the bathroom on the main floor breaks and his boss tells him he can go upstairs to use the employee bathroom. Which is nicer - completely enclosed cubicles rather than stalls and much cleaner than the downstairs one. Ian discovers by accident that one of the cubicles has a vent and when he presses his ear against it, he can hear everything in Mickey’s room.

He eavesdrops on a session and gets incredibly turned on. But feels guilty for eavesdropping. He promises himself he’ll never do it again but then Mickey gets a client who also has the name Ian.

Ian can’t help it, he has to listen in - just to overhear Mickey moaning the name ‘Ian’. Even if it’s not about him. He jerks off but then when he exits the bathroom, he runs into Mickey who notices Ian’s flushed appearance. Later on, he figures out about the vent and is very amused.

Thinking Ian might come back and listen again, Mickey starts to call all his clients Ian. “That’s not my name-” “fuck you, you’ll answer to what I call you!”

Mickey confronts Ian and tells him he knows he’s been listening in. He offers Ian a session for free again.

Ian takes him up on the offer and they have a lot of fun, even if it is a bit awkward at times. They have more and more sessions, Mickey teaching Ian everything he wants to know and letting him try out what he wants.

They both like each other but Ian thinks Mickey is just being kind to him and Mickey thinks Ian is too good for him. Lots of miscommunication until one of them reveals they are falling in love…..

Version 2

Basically the same as version 1 but Ian is seeing someone. They haven’t done anything physical because Ian is nervous. Mickey says he’ll help him practice whatever he wants.

The guy Ian is seeing pressures him a bit (he’s kinda a villain) but Ian doesn’t exactly pick up on this being bad for awhile.

Some kind of dramatic moment where the guy finds out Ian’s been practicing stuff with Mickey and he gets angry, calls Mickey a whore. Ian gets angry in turn, realises he loves Mickey and defends him. Tells the guy to fuck off.

Cue romantic passionate kissing and revelations of love.

Version 3

Ian is trying to be celibate because he keeps hooking up with the worst guys. Working in a brothel is probably not the best environment but he rarely sees the employees.

Mickey is instantly attracted to Ian and likes teasing/flirting with him. Ian flirts back (and struggles not to get turned on) but makes it known he’s not hooking up with anyone at the moment.

Mickey backs off ~respectfully~ (or as respectfully as Mickey can 😅) but still spends his breaks talking to Ian.

Slow burn, lots of long conversations where they open up to each other. They are clearly falling in love but neither want to admit it.

Ian realises he’s getting very jealous of Mickey’s clients and decides to quit and get a different job. But he can’t stop thinking about Mickey. He realises he loves him. But what should he do about it?

Mickey checks his bookings: 2pm - Clay. He doesn’t recognise the name, it’s a new guy. Mickey opens the door and is shocked to find Ian standing there, holding a bunch of flowers and asking if Mickey wants to go on a date.

Basically I have a lot of thoughts about brothel AUs 😅 I would love to write some of these but I can’t write smut and these sorts of AUs need smut.

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

OC Musings #2.5

Today's Musing: What is your OC's relationship with their biological parents like? Cam: Naturally has a great relationship with Jesse, to the point of being a bit clingy with him, but to her he's her first best friend. Also adores her other father Cole, despite being MIA from her life for over five years with another family...but does still feel a tiny bit of resentment on that fact, as much as she tries to pretend she doesn't for everyone else's sake (it's probably the thing blocking her from True Potential—look at her, taking right after Cole <3) Blaire: Out of their siblings, probably has the best relationship with their parents, yet still winds up in the most trouble with them. Would never admit it, but they're trying desperately to please Kai and Skylor, but also ultimately ends up going overboard and tends to get other people caught in the crosshairs). Blythe: Struggles to relate with both his parents, Kai and Skylor, but is a smidge more of a Mama's boy (as Kai tends to annoy him a little too much from time to time snksnk). Mostly keeps to himself and steers clear of any chaos caused by his sisters, but will probably turn into a blubbering mess upon receiving any kind of affection. Briar: Is absolutely a Daddy's Girl, but also has so many self-depreciating thoughts about herself that she struggles to see how much her parents really do care about her. Kai tends to be the one to talk her through some of her worst moments (cuz he can relate and he is DISTRESSED that his beloved child is going through similar things nuuuuuuu–) Lucina: With her biological parents, there was a pretty average relationship—generally positive, with nothing extreme to stand out about it. However, winding up in Legacy!Lloyd's custody required quite an adjustment period, but she comes to love him just as much as her own father (...although eventually, she gets a little scared at the fact that it may just be even moerso). Can't quite discuss her "mother" though cuz spoilers for the main story lol Quinn: Has a good relationship with both her parents, but has a deep-seeded fear of disappointing them both—she has a secret love of "girly" things that would cause Nya to peel paint with irritation if it were her on the receiving end, while Quinn also can't quite wrap her head around the advanced sciency-subjects Jay's always prattling about. But, they've got plenty of other ways to connect with each other–it's just that Quinn feels like she can't always be 100% honest with them (a quality both Nya and Jay and displayed themselves at one point or another) Finn: Also has a good relationship with both his parents, but feels like he had big shoes to fill all the extraordinary things they've done throughout their childhood, and just their lives in general. Nya relates to his desires to stand out and not be "average", while Jay can understand his need to overcompensate when he doesn't really have to. Seven: While as a "child" they were spirited and eager to help and learn, upon receiving their upgrade and a new body, they inherited a bit of Pixal's cynicism about the world, and it kind of manifested into their perspective on their parents. Seven finds that Pixal takes things too seriously, while Zane's sometimes a little too silly, but other than that they know they can always go to them for advice or comfort and both will always be ready to give it (although Pixal is either a little awkward or a little extreme with it sometimes—and Zane keeps trying to crack a joke afterwards to ease the tension and it never lands–)

. . .

Question Inspired from this Prompt List

[2jcore]

hwanghon brew director's cut

hello everyone first of all, please bear with me this is the first time i've tried using tumblr and i honestly don't know my way around it yet. With that being said, please allow me to give you the director's cut of Hwanghon Brew i promised 2 years ago lmao TT

So, for starters, hwanghon brew was commissioned by my good friend ate cams (who was absolutely patient with me. love u ate cams mwa) 

These were the things requested:

heejayke poly

established heejay

modern vampires

college/frat au

5+1

heejayke feeding on each other

THE PLAYLIST

I was given the freedom to do whatever, come up with whatever plot that ties these things together, so I did! The first thing that came to mind of course, was the vibe I wanted to go for. So i immediately looked up a modern vampire playlist to set the mood, and stumbled upon this playlist. which is honestly so fitting because 1) the cover is a screenshot from the given-taken japanese mv, and 2) the person who made it seems to be an engene seeing that the first song in the playlist is drunk-dazed.

Anyway, Supermassive Black Hole by Muse became the first song that I associated to Hwangwon. It was like, idk the theme song while i was writing it? In fact, the whole black market scene during the intro was written to supermassive black hole. I didn't really make a moodboard for HB and instead created a playlist and relied on getting the vibe from that instead.

if i were to describe the songs that i picked out for hwanghon, it would be dark and somewhat eerie. most of them were rock/alt, (Test Me - Xdinary Heroes, One in a Billion - Enhypen, Tonight is the Night I Die - Palaye Royal)

some were also alternative/indie like Teeth - 5SOS, cult leader - king mala, and Blood // Water - grandson.

I played this playlist 24/7 while writing the fic NO JOKE LIKE ESPECIALLY IN THE SHOWER even though some of the songs creeped me out T^T bc honest to god some of them lowkey sounded demonic but it is what it is. So, I listened to these vampy songs while trying to come up with the main theme of the fic.

If you watched the video teasers I posted on my twitter, you'd know that I strongly associated Xdinary Heroes songs to HB, especially during the scenes where they're playing tag and running around the city, especially Test Me.

Hold Me Tight, and Tunnel by KimYeji were for the more somber parts like Jake's inner monologues about fitting in, heejay talking about the coven and jake, and especially the scene were Jay runs to Jake in the bathroom and relives Heeseung's near death.

And while I do associate their running scenes with xdinary heroes, BONBON GiRL by SARM is an honorable mention. To me this is a bouncier song for the times they're leaping from one rooftop to another, just having fun while Seoul's citylights shine below them. When I play this song, Hwanghon Brew suddenly turns into this cyberpunk vampire anime in my mind.

Some special mentions that I really enjoyed listening to and helped me brainstorm for scenes are: Real Boy - Lola Blanc, Verbatim - Mother Mother, and Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High - Artic Monkeys.

OUTLINING

As some of my readers might know, my first step when writing a fic is to make an outline. My first thought was to think about the characters. With heejay being established, it only made sense for me to make them members of the frat/coven. With that thought in mind, I wondered how to write Jake into their lives. And thought, hmm, what if he moved to Seoul for college and stumbles upon one of the coven members? Let's make him a newly turned vampire from the country side.

(jake bagong salta to coven = jake new to the coven)

So i was trying to come up with the main theme of the fic and initially came up with this:

I was just thinking that jake was just, idk, desperately trying to fit in even though he was already part of the coven, and heejay could teach him how to be a vampire and their feelings could develop through that. Of course, this idea changed as the outline became more fleshed out.

After establishing the basics of the character backgrounds, my next step was to outline the plot itself. I divided the plot into the 5+1 structure, and brainstormed for a main event/scene per number.

this is the unedited original outline LMAOO which obviously was changed as I went along with writing it. I wasn't given an exact word count and was just told to write whatever I wanted (thank you sm ate cams 🥺) and honestly i went into this thinking that i'd be done by 10k HAHAHAHA BOY WAS I WRONG. then again, i shouldn't really be surprised because i have the habit of going over my target word count. In fact my bestie Erina (who helped me brainrot a lot during the writing process (luv u bubbie hwanghon brew will forever be your inaanak) was like. bubbie. how could you even think you'd be done by 10k LMAOO)

anyways, let's unpack this original outline. the [ 5 - hoon supposed to take him to hwanghon but can't ] made it to the fic since Sunghoon really asked Jay to take Jake to hwanghon. [ 4 - heeseung arc, bonding over ramyeon ] was only partially kept. Instead of the 4th part being about jake feeling hesitant, it becomes heejake growing closer through their convo while having ramyeon, and jake trying to get closer to jay by using the honey cookies. So i guess you can say that food holds importance in this part.

the third part where jake underestimates his appetite and heejay come to the rescue is kept, but added to it are heejake and heejay scenes, the latter giving more insight to the jayke aspect of things

The 2nd one. So my thought process here is: the initiation is successful. However, throughout and after this, heejay become more and more possessive over jake without them actually noticing and without them realizing why. So, the members intervene by acting all flirty with jake until heejay finally acknowledge their feelings, and this leads to the jealousy jealousy part in number 1. and somehow the tension just builds up until they all just erupt and make out, which would lead to them feeding on each other.

as you can see, khan's appearance in the fic was not part of the original outline. and that definitely changes a lot of things.

for the first few parts of the fic, i outlined the turn of events and crossed them out once i finished writing that sequence. my original outline somehow ends here? IDK how i outlined the rest of the fic LMAO IT WAS A FEVER DREAM. ANYWAY.

THE BLACKMARKET

i wanted to start the fic with a banger. literally. so, what better way to do it than to bombard countryboy Jake with the grim reality of the city, right?

After listening to Supermassive Black Hole, this black market scene immediately played in my mind and set the tone for the rest of the fic. It came to me quickly--the image of Jake stumbling upon a black market swaying, dizzy as hell, his vision splitting and all these neon signs swirling around him. for me, the song cemented the over all night life/cyberpunk vibe that I was going for.

At first, I was thinking that it's Jay who finds Jake in that market. Like the thought of spotting Jay amidst the blur of people was so appealing to me (especially as your resident jayker). But I figured that it would be better for Sunghoon to find him first, because not only does this create a foundation for jakehoon's friendship, but also sets the stage for a better meeting between jake and heejay.

Right off the bat I wanted this scene to be as descriptive as possible, so that I could immediately give the readers a good feel of the universe and the dark tone of the fic. Hence why I enumerated every single thing from a man trying to sell Jake drugs,

“Hyungnim,” A man suddenly slings his arm around his shoulders. “You looking for a good time?” “N-no,” He answers meekly, pushing away the man who had a couple of tattoos dotting the left side of his face, his leather jacket reeking of alcohol and some kind of earthy, herby scent.

(that's why he smelled earthy - y'know...marijuana) to prostitutes trying to beckon him over

“Hey, are you lost?” Two girls call out to him in coy voices, breaking out into giggles and taking drags of the cigarettes pinned between their long manicured nails.

Anyway, while i was writing this, i was constantly seeking opinions from my close friends (love u erina i could not have written most of this without you) and recieved good feedback about the intro, so i think it was pretty effective.

SUNGHOON

(this is the hoon in my head!! ugh so hot fr fr imagine him just walking along seoul at night jumping from one roof to another)

like I said, since i made Sunghoon the character who finds Jake, I wanted him to make a strong impression, which is why he is how he is--practically dragging Jake to the cafe, ordering for him, talking on and on even though Jake wasn't responding LMAO like Sunghoon didn't really care TT

I also wanted him to have #humor which is why he's so damn sarcastic all the time "don't worry i don't bite" SAYS THIS WITH HIS CHEST WHILE BEING A WHOLE VAMPIRE LIKE FUCK OFFF "no humans were harmed in the process" he's so??!?! anyway, it was super fun writing him, he's easily one of my favorite sunghoons in all the fics i've written.

though it looks like him being a lovesick fool is a common thing among my fics and i don't regret this one bit. It's so funny writing Sunghoon pining over Sunoo when the latter doesn't even give him his time of the day (not true, actually he's just equally enamored)

While it is true that Sunghoon is one of the comedic reliefs in this fic, Sunghoon is also the token best friend that everyone needs. He has his own way of looking after Jake that is just so endearing to me. In fact one of my personal favorite scenes would be the jakehoon skirmish during the initiation where they're just tumbling down from one roof to another. They way Sunghoon was so proud when Jake managed to get his necklace 🥺 and the way he was like "Go. The other three won't be as easy as I was."

In his own silly little ways, he makes sure that Jake isn't left behind and watches over him. (Sunghoon wouldn't have brought Jake to the cafe and bought him a blood smoothie to begin with if he wasn't so kind) Speaking of blood smoothie, that brings us to the next part

RASPBERRY ORANGES

also known as blood oranges, where Enhypen coined their album name "Orange Blood" from. If you check the dates, Hwanghon Brew was posted before this release so belift, i was first 🙄 (lighthearted) anyway, blood oranges are literally just oranges but the insides are red.

I was searching for a fruit that would pass off as the same color as blood because I wanted Sunghoon to order something cryptic. In the sense that it's not really on the menu since only vampires would know about it because it's a code for blood, but if per se, a human manages to overhear it and ask about it, they could just serve a real fruit smoothie and it wouldn't look any different.

I thought maybe dragonfruit? but it's too purple. raspberry is too pink. strawberry would be too pale. I stumbled upon the raspberry orange, saw the pulp looking like blood and i thought, yeah this is it. This looks vampire-y enough.

I included this fruit solely because of that and didn't really think of anything else lol. Later on, I found out through my moot Kaia that blood oranges hold meanings that really align with the concept of Hwanghon Brew

THE BASEMENT

I don't know if i should feel flattered, scared, or annoyed that there seem to be so many parallels between hwanghon brew and official enhypen content. because first of all, i posted HB in october of 2022, and it had the line "bite me" (i'm not gatekeeping that phrase but the parallels are just fascinating) and then they come out with Dark Blood and Bite Me as the title track in 2023. Also, like i said, blood oranges, Orange Blood, etc etc. And the basement/frathouse IS EXACTLY WHAT THE SET IN SWEET VENOM LOOKS LIKE

like. the strobe lights, the party, the dingy mattresses??? thanks to belift for bringing my fic to life i guess??!?W@#$ anyway, since they were a coven disguised as a frat, i figured it was only right for them to have a frathouse. i didn't do much research on frats because i didn't focus on it much in the fic, but i guessed that frathouses were mostly...well, messy. Plus, they're supposed to be broke college kids, so i thought it'd be fitting for them to rent out a cheap basement in one of the shady alleys in Seoul.

THE COVEN

While it is true that they're also kind of a frat, like Sunghoon says,

“It’s a coven and a frat. I mean, we’re fronting as a frat. But, it’s not exactly a disguise because we really are a frat? You get what I mean.” Sunghoon waves his messy explanation off.

they are a coven first and foremost, which to me crosses out the thought that they only have men (since y'know. frat). in my mind the coven also has female members. since txt are part of it, i immediately thought of itzy, pictured yeji and ryujin on the couch making out and i was like yeah, i like that.

aside from the basement looking like sweet venom, at the time I was writing it, SV wasn't out yet. So the party was actually mostly based on the drunk-dazed party

Anyway, it's mentioned in passing that the pioneer of this coven is Jay, and he served as its leader for a good few centuries before handing the torch to Jungwon. Since then, he took the backseat with the leadership, but still helped in calling the shots. Jungwon doesn't make big decisions without consulting him (and Heeseung consequently)

MEETING HEEJAY

Like I said, I wanted to set the stage for heejay--present them in a way that both Jake and the readers know that they aren't like any other. I wanted them to be revered. While everyone was wilding it out partying, they were in the backroom watching it all unfold. idk there's just something about them just sitting there and watching over their people. literally like kings over their constituents. (constituents??!!)

Tall nose, sharp lips, tanned skin peeking out from the rips in his jeans

Tall nose, small lips, sharp jaw trailing down to a chin that juts out when he frowns. A leather choker around his neck, his knitted top torn.

These were the pictures in mind when I wrote the descriptions of heejay's first appearance

JAY

i can't recall if someone left a comment about this or a friend told me, but i remember someone saying that it made so much sense that Jay was the eldest vampire. they said that usually, people would think of going according to enha's real age, so it was refreshing to see Jay as the eldest.

to me it just felt right to make Jay the eldest and only pureblood in the coven. I think i based this off of the fact that Jay in real life was obviously brought up in a high class (?) family and environment. He knows a lot of things, is well off, and yet he seems street smart and wise.

with this, i came up with his background--his family being around for ages, somewhat pioneers of the current seoul vampire society, and owners of the disguised vampire establishments. speaking of family, it's implied that Yoongi is Jay's relative.

aside from this, I was thinking, Jay is mostly a loving sweetheart in the fics i've written, so why not make him a loving but emotionally constipated tsundere in this one?

anyway, given the fact that jay is the eldest, only pureblood, and founding father of their coven, i think his disposition was to be expected. he's literally like a grumpy overprotective father. to him his coven is his family, which is why he's skeptical to let strangers get close to the people he loves. especially after the first khan incident. He let khan into the coven, treated him as his own kin, and khan betrayed him by abandoning all the principles and beliefs he stands by, and put their coven in a bad light because of this. I can't really blame him for being on guard and cut throat with accepting new members after this.

HEESEUNG

heejay being 7yearz going on 8yearz in real life is truly the basis of heejay in this fic, and consequently, Heeseung's characterization. much like in real life, i wanted them to have spent a lot of time together, which is why i wrote Heeseung as coming from 1235, which was the Goryeo era. Originally, I wrote Heeseung as coming from the late 13th century, but wanted to align his story with a real historic event. That's why I moved his year to 1235 where there were Mongol invasions, which led to him being injured, and then led to him being turned.

I think it's evident especially with the whole "While Jay is the storm, Heeseung is the calm before that" part, that I wanted to strike a balance with the characterization of heejay. To me it also felt so...idk, couple? so parents of them to be opposites in this way. It was like Tamaki going all out and then there's Kyouya, his silent and supportive right hand man. (from Ouran High School Host Club)

Which is why I leaned into Heeseung's laid back traits in real life and channeled his relaxed and easy going disposition. I just figured it would have been too difficult for Jake if both Jay and Hee were skeptical of him, so i thought let's make Heeseung someone who is a good judge of character, someone who immediately sees the good in Jake and becomes smitten.

I believe Heeseung acted as a bridge more than anything because jayke's bond was honestly the last to form, so he's a mediator in more ways than one.

With regards to the coven, it is mentioned that Heeseung is the second eldest, which means that next to Jay, he's the most respected because #age and #heirarchy and all. Also, no one would dare question Hee because he is after all, Jay's life long partner and lover.

In my mind, Heeseung is very wife in this fic, in the sense that most of the time he is Jay's voice of reason, lending his silent support especially during the times it is most needed. While the coven was founded by Jay, it would be crippled without Heeseung.

JAYHOON CONVO (OUTTAKE)

On the day that Sunghoon told Jake to come to the coven, Heeseung was the only one in the basement. Jay went grocery shopping and Sunghoon bumped into him on the way there. they both make an entrance while bickering

the door swings open and in comes Sunghoon and Jay, at each other’s neck. Figuratively.  “You should have told me beforehand!” “Well, I’m telling you now,”

Actually, they were fighting over Jake. The whole conversation goes like this:

"I told him he could join." "Who are you to decide that?" "Oh c'mon, aren't we like allowed to make referrals? like in companies? I'm pretty sure I should be getting a commission for recruiting him." "??? we are not a multi level company. Go bring your pyramid schemes somewhere else. Not to my coven" "But I already told Jake to come over," "You should have told me beforehand!" "Well, I'm telling you now"

their convo sounds pretty funny and sooo jayhoon in my head that i just had to share this even though it didn't make the cut in the fic

HWANGHON BREW

the heart of this fic (only actually partly, but the fact that this fic is named after the cafe make a big difference, no?) I'm not sure where this idea came from, I just figured it would be nice for them to have their own establishment. Like. #made by vampires for vampires. something like that, and thought hm, why not a cafe? so i went on to a name generator and it showed me a bunch of corny names for cafes T^T. I saw the word brew and it kinda stuck. So the next thing i did was to search for the korean words of vampire related things--moon, blood, twilight. And that's how i found the word hwanghon.

I put hwanghon and brew together, decided that i liked the sound of it, and put it as the working title while i was writing. i honestly didn't think that it would be the final title. I was just thinking of replacing it when i thought of something better, but fortunately i was unable to come up with anything that topped it DFAHAHAHA i am also so relieved I kept the title because i think it's so distinct? It has a very nice ring to it and makes it easy for me to search people talking about it on twitter HAHSDHF

here's the logo/symbol of hwanghon brew, and it's exactly as it is described in the fic

a crescent moon with the tips downturned, red rays dripping down from the middle. 

the red rays are an allegory to blood, hence why I used the word "dripping" to describe it. also, to me, the downturned crescent moon is a hollistic symbol of vampirisms. it is both a moon, and a pair of fangs. This symbol also plays a big part in the initiation because the necklace's pendant is in the same shape.

anyway, onto the system of hwanghon brew itself. Like Jay explained, the process of blood goes like this: human donations > health organizations > human government > high council > blood banks > vampire establishments (like HB) honestly, i didn't really consume much vampire media. i have never watched twilight or vampire diaries. the only knowledge i have of the collective concept of vampires would be from interview with a vampire, supernatural, a few clips from vampire knight, and a few panels from blood bank.

though i think the fact that i didn't really consume vampire media turned out to be a good thing in the long run, because I eventually had my very own take on the vampire universe and the world building. Though, it's not uncommon to have blood banks and whatnot, i just find it fascinating to have the vampire high council working hand in hand with the human government.

JAKE

oh my sweet Jake. he's just a baby girl, that's all. His characterization here isn't really far off from how i see him in real life? happy go lucky, very determined, absolutely resilient.

besides, i think that these are qualities of a person who can go through so much and come out of it stronger. these are the traits that would enable him to put his foot forward, join the coven, butter up to heejay, and go against a monster like khan.

however, while he is all those things---strong and brave, he is also very hesitant at the same time? He's the type to rethink his actions and mull over his decisions over and over again and question himself if he made the right choice.

he's also very conscious of the people around him, and he has his own insecurities, which to makes him feel more human than any of them, which also makes sense given that he's the youngest vampire.

EYE COLORS

I mention this throughout the fic--their eyes flashing inhuman colors whenever they're either hungry, protective, angry, etc etc. For Jake, it's blue. For Jay, it's red. This small detail isn't really important aside from the fact that only purebloods have red eyes, but I just got this idea from the japanese MV of given-taken. (actually, i rewatched that mv so many times while writing this fic)

GIFTS

it's mentioned in the fic that vampires develop gifts down the road. Jay's is super strength, Heeseung - telepathy, Jungwon - speed, Sunghoon - shapeshifter(?), Sunoo - gravity defiance, Riki - shadow manipulation/teleportation

Honestly, i just got this from the dark moon webtoon because i wanted to add a little flare to it lmao. Given, Jake's power would be fire. Initially, I thought of including his power in the fic. If I did, it would play out like this: jake getting beat up by khan > heejay comes to the rescue > khan puts up a fight, drives them into a corner > jake, livid that khan had hurt heejay, awakens his power and uses fire for the first time to protect them (wow, zuko who?)

but I decided to scrap that idea because I wanted Jay to be indomitable, and also kinda wanted Jake to play into that whole damsel in distress thing

anyway speaking of powers, if anyone's wondering why heeseung didn't just tap into jake's mind to find him, it's because heeseung's telepathy in this universe only works on covenmates. and since jake technically wasn't a member yet, he couldn't reach him.

THE INITIATION

actually, if i remember correctly, this idea came from one of my twt besties and gfs, nina. it makes sense of course, because they're a frat. and frats have initiations and it's just terrorizing new recruits, like Sunghoon said. They reason that it's to assess the new member (especially after someone like khan), they wanted to be more sure of new recruits--whether they'd play dirty just to be part of the coven.

Sunghoon also mentions that it's Riki who suggested to have initiations and that it usually consists of playing games (tag, hide and clap) but with a vampire twist. Not only does this allow the existing members of the coven to assess the new recruits physical abilities (speed, senses, etc.) but it also allows them to asses their decision making.

SUNOO, JUNGWON, AND RIKI

admittedly, I didn't put much details about these three compared to the hyung line for various reasons.

for one, I wanted Sunoo to be a mystery, and figured that would only be effective if I only gave out little information about him, leaving gaps and spaces for the readers to imagine. Which is why I mentioned that aside from Jay, no one really knows about his age or where he came from. (but his backstory is complete in my mind lmao.) also, I wanted Sunoo to be different from the other vampires, which is why he sometimes talks in shakespearean HAJSHA. AND I wanted his character to be different from all the other sunoos I've written. I just really love playing into the opposite of how majority of the fandom perceives him as well.

Jungwon, while being the coven's leader, only makes appearances once in a while. Despite his little screentime (sorry won I'll make it up to you), I wanted to make sure that he came across as reliable, especially since he is the coven's acting leader. Which is why he shows up to remind Jake to feed. To me, while he participates in initiations, he makes up his mind about the new recruits prior to that and acts based on this. He went easy on Jake because he actually liked him and wanted him to be a part of the coven, which is why he played along but gave back Jake's moon necklace in the end.

And Riki. He may seem like a playful vampire who's just there for the vibes, but he is also very perceptive. Like Sunoo, he plays a bigger part than what is implied, but I don't want to give out too much information bc I want to write a prequel HSDFHAHSD but yeah, Riki knows the streets and knows his shit.

well, that's that. Thank you for coming to my ted talk! I really enjoyed writing about my thought process while writing, and where I pulled inspiration from. I still think that I really outdid myself with writing this one and I think the comments I got just prove it. I love Hwanghon Brew with my whole heart and I am beyond happy that I get to share this with people who enjoyed reading it just as much as I had fun writing.

whatever i didn't cover here (like most of their character backgrounds, and khan) I will be including in the prequel. Anyway, speaking of the prequel, I've been told that some readers are curious about the timelines and the backstories of the members. I think if you pay enough attention to detail, you'd be able to gather a few hints about the timelines and their ages.

I do hope that if I ever do push through with it, you would be tuned in as well >< I have actually finished the outline, all that's left is actually writing it. I don't know when because I am unfortunately a busy college senior (writing her thesis and having her internship). But I do hope I get to do it soon because some of you really seem enthusiastic about it and it really warms my heart. Anyway, please consider this a love letter to the readers who enjoyed Hwanghon so much and showered it with so much love.

love u all ❣

[twostepstyless]

His Favourite Princess

Fic Advent Calendar Day 9

Advent Calendar Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Author’s Note: Y/N and Harry go for the last of their Christmas shopping. The list of what they have left to buy isn’t too long but they both get swept up buying kids toys and separately they both begin to imagine life buying toys for their own. An ignorant staff member annoys Y/N just a little bit.

As always, likes, reblogs and feedback of any variety is encouraged and always appreciated - G x

Word Count: 1.5k

———

“What’s left on the list?” Harry pulled the car out of the driveway as they made their way on last minute Christmas shopping trip. “I need to get whisky for my Dad, some sweets to go in with m’mum’s and brothers and his girlfriends, we need to get some bits for your mum’s cats, I’ve ordered your gift for your secret Santa with your cousins that should come any day now. Oh, I’ve not got anything for Natalie’s little one yet, he’s really into princesses and animals and anything that sparkles right now. She texted me a picture the other day and he was sat at his little table colouring princess pictures and had tried to stick some glitter on it and had more down him,” Y/N giggled at her best friend’s child in the photo before turning the phone so Harry could see it as they were stopped at a red light.

Harry hummed out a laugh, “he’s so cute,” he cooed before shifting into gear to drive on. 

“He misses you,” Y/N said, tucking her phone away, “said on the phone the other day that Uncle Harry is the best at playing with him, which I beg to differ but still.” 

“Are we not seeing them this year?” Harry mused.

“No,” Y/N mourned, “they couldn’t squeeze in a trip and all the dates we could’ve went to them, they’re busy,” Y/N was gutted she wasn’t seeing her best friend and godson before Christmas, she guesses she’ll just need to post their gifts to them this year. 

“Hm, that’s a shame, we’ll make time in January and go visit, yeah?” Harry reached over to rub her thigh and squeeze her knee in comfort. 

“Really?” 

“Of course, can’t let some other schmuck come in and steal the best play date role,” Harry joked.

“Shit, we need to get something for Ernie from the corner shop too,” Y/N smacked her forehead before reaching for her phone to add it onto her list. 

“No, we don’t,” Harry piped up, slowing the car down as they entered a roundabout. 

“Huh?” 

“I’ve already got Ernie covered, sorted it while I was away.” Harry said, proud of himself for ticking off something on Y/N’s list before it was even on her list. Her eyebrow quirked, a signal for him to explain. “Met this guy when I was away, one of those friends of a friend of a friend of a cousin of a brother of a daughter type situations. Who happened to be a whisky collector, got some malt aged bottle of something from somewhere in Scotland that I’ve heard him mention, probably worth a bit of money but I’d rather he just drank it and enjoyed it. It’s in a box on my side of the walk-in wardrobe. M’surprised you didn’t notice it,” Harry finished. 

“Considering some of your dirty washing is still piled up on your side, m’not surprised at all I didn’t see it,” Y/N teased as Harry pulled into a spot in the car park closest to the shopping area. 

*** 

“Okay, chocolate - tick,” she handed Harry the ridiculously large bag from Hotel Chocolat, “enough cat nip to take down a lion and enough treats to feed every cat in the world 3 times over - sorted,” a large Pets at Home bag was passed to Harry. Granted there was also some extra gifts for their overgrown puppy Vinnie in the bag too. “And you ordered a bottle for m’Dad, yeah?” she double checked.

“I did, I got a bottle of Johnnie Walk-” Harry began. 

“H, baby, is telling me what kind of whisky y’got going to mean anything to me? No, so let’s not bother,” she laughed.

“Fair,” Harry adjusted all the bags he carried. “So… toy shop now?” Harry tried his hardest to hide his excitement, but he really was fizzing over with the idea of getting to pick some toys out. 

“Toy shop,” she nodded. 

*** 

“Fuckin’ hell, bit busy in here innit?” Harry said as they were suddenly surrounded by stressed out adults with trollies piled high as overly cheery Christmas music blasted at an almost deafening level probably doing the opposite of the desired effect of retail therapy music. With everyone seemingly want to be in the large store for the least amount of time as they possibly could

“It’s two and a half weeks until Christmas, lovie, of course it is,” she clutched his hand in hers, scared he was going to get distracted and wander off. If she could put one of those backpacks with the leash attached you put on toddlers with a proclivity for an escaping act, she absolutely would. 

They made haste for the aisle that had the pink, sparkly shelf edging and header cards. “How many bloody princesses are there nowadays?” Harry gaped, overwhelmed by the boxed dolls. 

“Loads, we should watch some of ‘em on Disney+” Y/N said, as she picked up a princess craft set and tucked it under her arm. 

“What about this one, look, y’get three dolls in it,” Harry pointed towards the box. 

“Nah, Snow White’s in it, she’s shit,” Y/N eyed the box, before picking up a three pack with Rapunzel, Mulan and Tiana and shoving that one under her arm instead. 

“What’s wrong with her?” Harry sounded affronted, “she’s got all her seven dwarf mates, hasn’t she?” 

“She’s boring Harry, and frankly an idiot, who eats an apple off a stranger? She got what was coming to her,” Y/N rolled her eyes walking further down the aisle as Harry laughed, picking up the Snow White box for their godson too. 

*** 

As they walked round the shop picking up bits and pieces, they both got lost in their own heads. Seeing various parents and guardians and extended family members walking round with their child’s letters to Santa, written in a wonky script with chunky multicoloured crayons. Maybe one day if their lucky the pair of them would be doing the exact same thing with their own children. Y/N could picture sitting at a table with a child the perfect mixture of her and Harry as they wrote their letter to the big man. She could also picture herself in one of these toy shops a few years down the line, trying to reign him in from buying one of everything for their babies, but knowing he would go home and order a few more bits online anyway. Harry could see it too, pushing their baby round in their pram, too young to realise what was going on anyway but seeing their little eyes widen at all the bright colours and shapes. Y/N getting annoyed at him when he kept putting extra gifts in the trolley when she wasn’t looking but managing to placate her when he explained he was just excited and thanked her for giving him his children and that was the best gift he could ever receive. She would love that line and Harry would know that and use it to his advantage when he needed. 

They would encourage their child to play with whatever toys they wanted, just like Y/N’s godson did, letting them enjoy whatever they wanted. Harry was in bliss in his little dream world in his head and didn’t even notice that Y/N had led him to the checkouts to pay for everything. 

“I’m sure the little girl in your life will love these,” the checkout operator scanned through everything as Y/N began to bag it up.

“Little boy,” Y/N said with an overly friendly smile as popped the box with Snow White in it into the bag. 

“Excuse me?” the person manning the till seemed confused. 

“It’s for our godson,” Harry piped up, with a firm tone in his voice, putting his card in the machine before Y/N could fight him on it. 

“Oh, well, well we have lots of action figures and cars on offer if you would like to see those,” the couple are sure the operator think they are being helpful, but it’s really not landing with the pair. 

“H, how do you feel about toy cars?” Y/N whipped round to Harry as he pushed his PIN in, he knew she was annoyed and angered by the member of staff’s ignorance.  

“Eh, they’re alright, what about you?” Harry asked playing along with Y/N’s game. 

“Love ‘em personally, what about the princesses?” she asked, knowing the staff member was listening in. 

“Well Snow White is my favourite, you?” he smirked, sliding his card back into his wallet, hearing the till begin to make a whirring noise as it prepared the receipt. 

“Not that fussed to be honest,” Y/N shrugged before turning to the operator, “have a nice day,” she smiled, maybe a tiny fraction of her being a little bit patronising. As Harry nodded to the staff member before lifting one of the carrier bags and exiting the shop. 

———

Advent Calendar Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[simply-shifty]

Some little tidbits about my genshin dr!

Everyone is actually older than the fandom here seems to insist on, like the fact that my bestie fischl is actually 19 and i love her to bits

Mona is around 25-30 years old and is...unique/pos

My home city in Natlan is something i scripted in

My main friend group consists of: yoimiya, hu tao, venti, wanderer, ningguang, beidou, diluc, kaeya, rosaria, navia, fischl, albedo, layla, faruzan, and myself

Primogems are actually used in jewelry to symbolize romantic interest!

Parents sometimes make heirlooms out of their primogem jewelry! Not exactly common because they're not exactly numerous in number

Natlan is a lively place with lots of art and the 'war' is moreso in fighting competitions between tribes/villages

Tighnari doesn't handle spices well and can smell them from a mile away so you have to make his food with special spices made for his species or you have to use only a pinch of anything spice related

Cyno has good jokes but most are simply lost in translation

Venti is touchy with some friends but is usually simply playful with people

Kaeya has trauma and baggage but hides it rather well from those who don't know him...people will try to sleep with him sometimes but end up realizing they cannot handle what comes with his love

Donna is known to diluc...he just avoids her and ignores her weirdness

Donna can be sweet but she makes my guys and gals uncomfy sometimes

My mother is an idol from fontaine

My father is a hunter and mechanic from natlan

My brother is a mechanic like our dad and he made me a music box based on our parents love story

My bio parents were involved with the moon sisters

My bio mom and aunt are part of the hexenzierkl

Alice (klee's mom) tried to 'adopt' me like she tried to 'adopt' diluc and albedo

I can tell albedo and dorian apart!

I can purify 'corrupted' or 'tainted' things...like the traveler

There is a festival in Muse (my home city) that has a cultural dance where the dancer walks/dances on water

I have visions

There is a vision each person in Muse has a few days after they turn 18 about future romantic choices we have

[leftrib-moved]

I've followed your other blog for a while, I was wondering if you recommend any roleplayers to try giving a shot at rping with?

I'll take a wild guess you're askin' specifically about Haz.bin / Hell.uva RPers since you sent this in to my Adam blog lol. But, honestly, I may not be the best to ask for recommendations. I have yet to interact with too many Haz.bin roleplays or really get to know any but out the gate I do believe I do have a few I'd recommended out of the people my picky ass has come to like over time via talking with them or watching them interact with friends.

@cxncrie / Star who's a friend of mine is someone I'd definitely recommend. She writes Alastor, Charlie, Lute, some other canons as well as some of her OCs plus a canon muse that's crossed over into Haz.bin. She's been great to talk to and write with, is rather patient with me despite how horrifically slow I write, has been consistently kind to me, and is the reason I'm even still in the Tumblr RPC funnily enough. All the stuff she writes is great, her writing is worth consuming. She's also one of the few people that seem to clearly communicate with her partners anymore or, at least, try to as much as you can when a bunch of people seem allergic to it. All around Star is great and someone I'd always recommend following / writing with if you vibe with her and aren't already writing with her. Also, her OC Nimue is great. Like. One of the few OCs I would ever genuinely recommend and is the first OC in a long time I willingly shipped some of my canon muses with on my other blog.

@shadowzgather / Tera is also great. I have yet to actually get proper threads fully going with her, albeit that's the fault of my slow ass more than anything, but Tera has been great thus far as I said. She communicates, cares about her muses, and writes them quite well from what I've seen. It's been fun watching her and Star write their stuff with Pentious and Nimue. Not to mention Tera does write the funny snake man quite well and is probably someone I'd consider making my main Pentious on my other blog. I do really like how Tera tries to do more with him despite how he was mostly a joke in canon, trying to emphasize how he can be more serious and isn't just a joke while also managing to keep Pentious. Well. Pentious. It's pretty neat to me how she manages to make him more serious while also keeping the quirks that make Pentious himself. This is to say I like how she manages it without accidentally turning him into an OC wearing his skin like I've seen happen with other characters with other writers.

@xluciifer / Luci isn't someone I've had a lot of chance to write with, again because I'm a slowass bitch, but Luci is also like one of the few Lucifer roleplayers I genuinely like. I've privately recommended Luci to people before but, hey, here's a fuckin' public recommendation now. They genuinely put thought and effort into writing Lucifer, they actually looked into scripture for writing him. He isn't just "quirky and depressed father" with them. He isn't just "omg innocent wittle man who did no wrong" with them. He isn't just "husband to Lilith !! omg precious ship!!". They also don't write Lucifer just to shit on Adam like I've seen several other Lucifer writers do. They have Lucifer be hostile to Adam a realistic and in character amount based off how they choose to write Lucifer. They're like a god damn blessing because I thought I'd never meet a Lucifer roleplayer who wanted to write with my Adam that didn't want to either harass / bully him, straight up murder him, or try and get me to write Adamsapple as an autoship. They're also just very sweet to speak with and quite nice to speak to OOC when we have / do talk now. Very nice writer, splendid take on Lucifer.

@edenhazbin / This is someone I have yet to properly write with, but from what I've seen myself and heard from friends, I've come to enjoy her interpretation of Cain. It's been quite interesting to watch Cain's interactions with Star's OC Nimue. Also, her Cain is just an interesting take to me because I typically saw people interpret Cain as some sort of evil, malicious, violent hellion. Making him unnecessarily violent and malicious to all, like some sort of edgy overpowered villain OC, but her Cain isn't that and is quite an interesting difference from that usual I tended to see.

I'm sure there's plenty more people I could recommend here but I'll stick to just recommending these four for now since I feel comfortable with recommending them. And this isn't to say I dislike anyone I didn't recommend or anyone who writes the same muses as those I did recommend. These people are just who I felt most comfortable recommending due to being friends with them, people I've talked to OOC, or people who know friends of mine.

[norcalbruja]

The good and the bad with Namor/Kukulkan, also various Loki musings

Jan 30, 2024

What's up, so you know how Namor/Kukulkan had a pretty uptight reaction to custard/flan because that's colonizer food, and he's very choosy about "food history" because he (as a snake spirit) doesn't need to eat a lot?

On January 10, I finally had the time to go to my favorite Mexican place again, and I bought sopes and tacos.

--

-

Whenever I give offerings to the spirits, I usually split off a few spoonfuls, or I eat one piece and leave them the other, so that day I went "what's up Kukulkan, I finally went to my favorite Mexican place! You want some?"

My dude just lit up and started laughing, and it lasted for a good few hours. At risk of sounding Not Mentally Normal: When spirits have strong reactions to things, it's like the spiritual equivalent of smells hanging around for a while. In this case, sopes. <3

Kukulkan was very happy and very full for like, the next week or so.

--

A couple of weeks later, Kukulkan stepped into my meditation and was probably trying to help me out with [Insert so many problems in my whole fucking life] in return for the sopes.

Loki immediately barged in and yelled, "HEYHEYHEYHEY!!! FUCK OFF, DANGER NOODLE, I'M HELPING HER ALREADY!!! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HER!!!"

So Kukulkan was like "Ah, so YOU do? She spent years hating you for messing up all her meditations! It doesn't sound much like knowing!"

And Loki went, "HATING ME FOR YEARS IS STILL KNOWING THAT SHE HATES ME! WHY ARE YOU JUST SWANNING IN AND TRYING TO HELP RIGHT AWAY???"

So the Water-Spirit called Thor, Odin, and Haik to try and separate these two again. Unfortunately, the fist-fight actually happened this time, and Kukulkan turned into a giant snake to strangle Loki. Loki retaliated by freezing the coils that were wrapped around him, which is the first I've seen of Loki's ice powers.

If anything emphasizes how little Normal/Mythical-Loki resembles Marvel-Loki, it would be how extremely hot-blooded he gets. If Dionysus is like a frat-boy who gets Really, Really Perceptive, Loki is his frat-brother who always gets in trouble for starting shit--and is Really, Really Perceptive in a brutally honest way.

So that was a stalemate, and Eric Draven tried to talk Kukulkan into like... trying to fight/argue with people less than he does right now, but he got bitten for his troubles.

Apparently this would have hurt a lot more if he was still alive, but his main problem was that dead spirits don't "heal" the same way as living ones. and it's terrifying to see someone walk around with gaping and NON-BLEEDING bite-marks on his neck/chest like a zombie. Hades had to come in and heal him because, well, he's the god of the dead.

I remember thinking how Lugh and the Morrigan of the Irish gods hate each other this much. Every time Lugh tries to say more than two words to me, the Morrigan bolts over and goes "MINE!", and then they start screaming at each other about shit that quickly stops being about me.

So I went, "Loki. Man. You gotta chill out about Kukulkan offering to help me. He's technically helping YOU! By giving you less work! You know I'm still cautious about how you can use your 'Marvel connections' to help my art get off the ground, right?"

I don't know if that was the wrong OR the right thing to say, because Loki started sobbing in a rage and going, "I DON'T GET TO FUCKING HELP PEOPLE, CYBORG!!! THE DANGER-NOODLE BARELY HAS TO DO ANYTHING! HE JUST WALKS OVER AND HE'S HOT AND EVERYONE LOVES HIM! ME, I'M FUCKING LOKI! OHHHHHH, I DID RAGNAROK! OHHHHH I SHIT-TALKED THE GODS! OHHHHH I HAD A WHOLE HERD OF KIDS THAT EVERYONE CALLS MONSTERS!"

And I'm like "Okay, Loki, I think we need Odin to help you calm down."

To Odin's credit, he was not surprised to find Loki being a mess in my spiritual "room."

--

Last week at the bowling alley, my manager and about three or four of my coworkers were joking about Covid and how "if you get Covid, spread the love so everyone can have a paid vacation!"

I am one of VERY few workers who mask, and it also made my blood boil because my sister caught Covid earlier this month and she has been BONE TIRED after going up the stairs and walking for a few minutes. This is not a fucking cold or a flu.

And the bartender was like, "Is Covid still even real?"

So I could not RESIST being petty and saying "My sister has Covid."

Motherfuckers stopped and stared at me for a good couple of seconds. Partly because they thought I said I had Covid, but the energy in the room plummeted and I'm just thinking "Oh. NOW you all act like I've got the consumption. *angry inner laughter*"

It made my sister bust out laughing when I texted her about it later.

Loki was also very pleased and laughed a lot--not just because it was petty, but because it was TRUE.

In my acting studies, I used to have a hard time with comedy because I can't seem to HARNESS humor very well, at least when I had to do it IN REAL TIME and not in writing or across the screen. I constantly had to force myself not to laugh at my own jokes, I have made jokes that were poorly timed or went too far, and some jokes that I thought were just average end up getting a WAY better response than I expected.

This might seem obvious because the folks on my spirituality blog don't see a lot of HUMOR in my constant financial/spiritual troubles, but like... I don't have my shit together.

Not even my DREAM-SELF has her shit together--her exploits are hilariously bad luck sometimes. In addition to the dream where I got a deal with Marvel and started working with Tenoch Huerta, my LATEST dream involved me auditioning as a singer for my former theater prof... and begging my phone to STOP HAVING TECHNICAL ISSUES AND PLAY HOZIER'S KARAOKE TRACKS, PLEASE!!!

I was mad when I woke up, but I couldn't avoid laughing because my good luck for getting a Marvel contract clearly didn't last very long. I said affectionately, "Oh, Dream-Me, we're back to going nowhere."

Meanwhile, in my WRITING, people constantly found humor in very dark and angry/depressing pieces.

Which, um... my theater prof has mentioned is something you need to do in dark works, because that's how people get through it without needing therapy. You have to find humor/lightness in dark works.

--

Yesterday while I was getting the groceries, I saw a crow pecking at a plastic bag with the telltale "take-out box of leftover food inside," and I was like "ehhhhhhhhh, why are crows showing up so often??? It might be a crow, but it might be a sign from Odin or the Morrigan. Guess I'll help this dude out."

So I untied the bag and opened the box, and I figured I'd stop by after getting the groceries to see if the crow was back.

Odin laughed in surprise/glee, and he told me, "You know this isn't actually Hugin or Munin, right?"

And I was like "Of course I don't literally think every crow is you or the Morrigan, but I figured I'd help out JUST IN CASE. Worst case, the crow is a normal crow and it gets food. Best case, someone up there helps me out."

Unfortunately the light rain IMMEDIATELY got harder soon after I got inside, so... the crow would have had a really soupy meal.

--

So today I was eating lunch and feeling shitty about my life again, and I asked Loki, "hey man, do you want some lunch? I figured since you had a shit time fighting with Kukulkan, you might as well eat something. And, you know, you claim to have Marvel connections... because you're a character in the stories."

And he just said, "No. I don't want anything."

And I'm like "Why not??? Do you not like sinigang???" (Filipino soup, it's very sour.)

He told me, "No, everyone TAKES THINGS from you. They take and they spring things on you, and they always tell you to DO STUFF for them, and you're terrified of asking your mom to go out and eat by yourself because you know you're just going to worry about her for two hours. You have lunch with the spirits more often than you have lunch with your fucking family. And then they're surprised when you're mad at having two houses' worth of stuff in one apartment, or at giving up and staying in that shitty ancient apartment because you never have time to yourself. You can barely fucking move, or garden, or DO ANYTHING. I'm not gonna take MORE from you to get you into Marvel, Cyborg."

And I was like "Okay, Loki, OUCH. But... thanks for that last part?"

--

So I've been poking around at Lokean writings, and my experiences DEFINITELY fit with other people's experiences.

For one, people agree that when Loki is not a god to mince words. He will tell you exactly what he thinks, and exactly what he thinks of OTHER PEOPLE. This was primarily why I used to hate him so much--he kept shit-talking EVERY OTHER SPIRIT in the damn room, and he constantly told me "You're too fucking nice and you think everyone else is gonna be like that, too. NO. THEY'RE NOT. IT WILL HURT AND YOU WILL STILL MAKE YOURSELF BE NICE, AND THAT'S GONNA WEAR YOU THE FUCK OUT. It's even worse because you had the insane luck to get spirits who are nice to you and feel bad for you!"

He is also a god of mental illness, as tricksters often are. Maybe Loki's attempts to shake me out of my niceness was because he knew that I'd eventually have thirty-year-overdue suspicions of being autistic/ADHD? If Dionysus, god of mental illness and considered by other tricksters as 'the trickster that everyone pretends is not a trickster,' has said "you know why you're so bad at interacting with people, you just can't get insurance for that sweet DIAGNOSIS," Loki the confirmed trickster would know what's wrong with my head.

Speaking of which, the FIANNA of all spirits (they are an Irish warrior-troupe led by Finn MacCool, and are famous for going on long sea-voyages or getting taken to the Otherworld) warned me quite a while ago that my path is not going to be a straightforward one. They said something like "you're gonna go from Point A, to Point 31, to Point D, and finally to Point B, and it's gonna be rough for a while."

Since Loki has told me he's got "Marvel connections" because he's literally in Marvel as a fucking character, this... does not bode well for all those steps between Point A and Point B.

[weasleywhimz]

Post Christmas Moments -An Eventual George Weasley Love Story

I wanted to get something out before the Christmas season totally ended, but hopefully eventually you’ll see some of the main plot points for Francesca happen around Christmas, and so require more time before publishing! I hope you enjoy this little look into the teenage years of George and Francesca.

Word Count: 803

Rating: Fluff

Christmases were complicated for Francesca. As a child, they were wonderful, making her cherish the time of year. And some of her most precious memories happened at Christmas. But also some of her worst.

The last time Christmas felt easy was in her sixth year of Hogwarts, when, like other Order members, her parents moved them into Grimmauld place to support operations, and she got to be with George and his family for Christmas. Of course the mood wasn’t totally jolly due to Arthur’s attack and the general dire situation. But she loved being able to sneak around with her boyfriend in the dusty rooms, and even convinced his mum to let him walk with her round to a muggle corner shop on Boxing Day (to which Arthur pouted, still too injured to join them).

It was another movie moment to her. A piece of time she made a point to commit to memory. She was leant against a lamppost, holding George’s coat as he examined a muggle lollipop they’d just bought.

“It’s simple,” he mused, pretending not to notice her gaze.

“Simple pleasures,” she agreed, smiling softly as she watched the snow begin to fall again from the sky for the second time that day. “Don’t move for a second,” she whispered.

He fixed his gaze to her then, and matched her soft grin, letting her drink in the moment for a while, before he couldn’t resist and pulled the sweet from his mouth and kissed her.

For any onlooker, they were the picture of young love. Two teenagers bundled up in the mist and snow of a wintery London, still sticking to each other for warmth. Enjoying the privacy of the street corner, bathed in lamplight, before having to temper their own passions again, when they parted, and walked back to the hidden terraced house.

“I want to do this every year,” he told her as they neared the gate to the park opposite Grimmauld Place.

“What? Visit a corner shop?” Francesca joked, “you’re an easy man to please Weasley!”

“No,” he said with a soft chuckle, “I mean spend Christmas with you. I want to spend every Christmas with you.”

Francesca stopped walking and looked at him. It was sudden, so he ended up tugging on her hand as he took the extra step. He turned back to her and shoved his other hand in his pocket.

“We’re only 17 George, you don’t know that,” she said softly, excited by his words but not yet daring herself to believe them.

“I do know what I want,” he told her firmly. “It meant the world seeing you helping mum with dinner, and passing Ron the ridiculous amount of horseradish he insists to put on his Christmas meal!”

Francesca laughed, remembering the funny moments of the combined family Christmas that had just taken place in the hidden house behind them.

“All those moments we got alone,” George continued, “hell, even the ones with everyone there! Being able to put my arm around you on Christmas Eve and sit drinking hot chocolate together-“

“Your mum shouted then though,” Francesca teased.

“Yeah but only because Ginny chucked a cushion at us when I tried to kiss off your whipped cream!” He defended. “But even then! Cleaning up the spilled chocolate with you, all of it Cess,” he voice dropped as he took another step closer. “I loved all of it. I want to do it every year. As many cushions to the head as it takes.”

She looked up at him, smiling. The nickname he only used when they were alone melting her again. She was so in love with this boy it would scare her if she didn’t trust him so much.

Overwhelmed by her realisation of how deep her love for him was, she reached up to hold his neck and pull him down to kiss her. Her passion surprised her, the air between them feeling too delicate just moments before, now totally broken by the intensity of the kiss. His hands held her waist as she wound her arms around his neck and tried to connect as much of their bodies as she could. Without having a chance to think about it, she was trying to convey everything she felt in that kiss. How much she loved him, how deep she had just realised that love ran, how grateful she was to have him be hers, how much she wanted him. Everything.

When she pulled her head back, still keeping her arms locked around his neck, and body pressed into him, George had a pleasantly bewildered look on his face.

“Blimey!” He breathed, “what on earth was that for?”

“You,” she told him, pecking his lips one more time before turning and taking the last few steps back into the house.

[musecaravan-info]

Gabriel

"Now I'm not looking for absolution / Forgiveness for the things I do / But before you come to any conclusions / Try walking in my shoes" ~ Depeche Mode ~

Basic Information

FACE/BODY CLAIM: Richard Speight, Jr.

AGE: Older than dirt. Literally.

EYES: Hazel

HAIR: Sandy brown; usually worn long and a bit shaggy

HEIGHT: 5'8

PRIMARY OUTFIT: Depends on the verse, but usually snarky t-shirts, jeans, and comfy sneakers for his main.

Personality

Gabriel is always quick with a joke and a laugh. He likes to see people happy and smiling, and likes it even more when he's the one who made it happen. In his main verse he usually comes off as carefree - at least on the surface. But let's be real, just because he doesn't remember his old life or the time spent in Purgatory doesn't mean the sensations of it don't bog him down sometimes. He just doesn't understand why. Regardless, he always does his best to hide it. No reason to push his personal burdens on to others, especially if it might hurt them.

Powers & Weaknesses

This will depend a lot on the verse we use. In Gabe's main verse his powers are a mere flicker of what they used to be. And he doesn't know he has them, so they're not really controllable most of the time.

In a regular Supernatural verse, Gabe's got all of the expected powers an archangel might.

Romance

Also verse-dependent. In his main verse Gabe has societal inhibitions because he thinks he's human. Mostly. So he goes about things the way most humans might. He teases and jokes, but there's not a lot of outright flirting unless interest is expressed.

In any verse where he knows who he is, the flirting will happen more readily and without as much of a filter. He'll generally stop if he perceives he's making someone truly uncomfortable, but if it's just annoying them (and he wants to annoy them) he'll probably just keep at it for kicks.

In just about any verse, Gabe won't turn down a proposition for sex or anything along those lines. He likes to have fun and if your muse is showing interest and he's interested, too, stuff will probably happen.

Where to Find Him

Verse dependent, but in his main verse here are a few ideas:

The bakery where he works

Improv/comedy clubs

Random church

Trivia night at a local bar

Verses

Just because a verse isn't listed here doesn't mean I'm not interested in writing it. I adore all kinds of AUs, and welcome the chance to get creative with my muses. If you've seen a verse that another of my muses has, and you'd like to see this muse in something similar, let me know. You can also check out my 'Plot Ideas' tag, too. ^_^

(Please see my notes down below in the 'Stuff That's Good to Know' section regarding Gabe's appearances in the show after S10.)

Main Verse:

This is the verse described in THIS POST. It's the default verse for all interactions. By ‘default’ I mean that this is where I’m going to assume things are happening UNLESS you request another verse in advance.

'Thanks for the Memories' Verse

This is exactly like the main verse BUT Gabe has all of his memories. He just pretends not to. He’s not very good at pretending - especially when people he knows show up… but he tries.

'You Look... Familiar' Verse

This is a branch off AU of the default verse and takes place after the episode ‘Meta Fiction’ in S09. In that ep, Metatron ‘borrows’ James to pull off his little story for Cas, afterwards leaving the man with the memories of a super realistic ‘dream’…and vague stirrings of ‘everything feels more wrong than it ever has before’. In this verse James leaves his job and goes looking for answers.

Canon Verse

This is for RPs that take place between S01 and S05. Gabe is Gabe. Not much more to it than that.

Purgatory Verse

For anyone who’s interested, I’m game for RPs revolving around the time Gabe actually spent in Purgatory. Themes here would be darker…probably involving gore and torture. This was not a great time for Gabe. At all.

'Before the Winchesters' Verse

Designed for historical blogs, but open to anyone. If you’ve ever had the urge for your muse to have a run-in with an all-powerful, snarky, sugar-loving, (sometimes) asshole, here’s your chance.

Human Verse

Gabe is human and always has been. He's just a normal guy, living a normal life. He works weird hours in his best friend's bakery and while life isn't bad, there are bound to be ways to make it better.

Velvet Avenue Verse

Currently a Private Verse

Gabe is an incredibly wealthy producer/director of pornographic movies. He bills the movies from Velvet Avenue Studios as being 'just like a Hallmark movie... but with porn.' He takes good care of his actors and his crew, while living a life of creativity and leisure. Sounds like heaven... but something's still missing from his life...

Janitor Verse

Currently a Private Verse

This is basically 'Thanks for the Memories,' but Gabe is working as a janitor at an indie radio studio... all in the hopes of getting close to the station's late-night DJ.

Current/Ongoing Threads

If your thread with Gabriel isn't listed here it's probably because it's been long enough since your last reply that I thought you'd dropped it. Message me to let me know you're still interested, and I'll happily add you to the list (with no pressure for a reply.) ♡

Kelly:

Just Like the Sun (American Revolution)

Just Like a Hallmark Movie (Velvet Avenue Verse)

Paul:

I Want Candy (Janitor Verse)

Reinhardt (& The Morrigan):

Ever At Your Back (Memories Verse)

Tobias:

What Will Be (Memories!Verse)

Will:

This Snow Globe World (Human Verse)

Stuff That's Good to Know Before Starting a Thread

Gabriel is a canon character from the Supernatural universe originally created by Eric Kripke. Some of what you’ll find here is canon to the TV show, however as I develop him I will have personal headcanons that are 100% mine. They may not mesh with your idea of Gabe, and that’s fine; everyone's allowed to have their own interpretation. :) However, if you send me hate about anything you will be ignored and blocked.

This blog has a timeline that (usually) picks up shortly after Cas releases all of the Leviathans onto the world. How far after can be plotted or chosen at random, I’m not too picky. If you want to roleplay with Gabe in a particular timeline or season it’s okay to ask. Chances are I won’t say no, I’m also game for all sorts of plotting and AUs.

I am NOT fully caught up on the series - I’ve only seen through the end of Season 10, and I don’t know when I’ll get around to watching any more. TBH, I was more than a little disappointed with the first couple of episodes of Season 11, so… yeah.

I also do not have a photographic memory for the seasons I have seen, so if I make a mistake with something don’t be afraid to tell me. As long as you’re not rude about it, I promise to hear you out. ^_^

Links

Please keep in mind, this blog is an ongoing work in progress. Not all of these links may lead somewhere, but they're here because they link to potential tags for this muse.

All Things Gabriel

Headcanons

Drabbles

All Threads

Ask Replies

Meme Replies

Aesthetics

Face

Special Links

Original Blog

Gabriel's Home

Return To Full Muse List

[etherealdemon]

🖤 + maisie/henry!

SEND ‘🖤 + PAIRING’ FOR ME TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING

my muse’s initial impression of yours

maisie first saw henry when elijah took her to carat for dinner when she first arrived in the neighbourhood. she didn’t technically meet him until carat closed for the night but she was immediately smitten when she saw him for the first time. she found him really attractive and turned into a mess when he smiled at her and said hello. they didn’t get to talk much that night but maisie was already subtly asking elijah lots of questions about henry on their way home.

my muse’s favorite physical attribute of yours

maisie adores henry’s smile. she’s not at all joking when she says that seeing him smile genuinely brightens her day. a close second would be henry’s hair. maisie is lowkey obsessed with running her fingers through his hair. she often finds herself absentmindedly playing with his hair whenever he decides to lie down in her lap.

my muse’s favorite personality attribute of yours

maisie loves how caring and loving henry is. he might not actively show it, but maisie can see that henry truly cares about the people around him through his actions. from happily agreeing to babysit hayden and lily to simply helping out jude whenever he needs it, maisie really admires how selfless henry is.

a moment that made my muse realize how much they care about yours

maisie realised she really cared about henry when she started spending more time at carat. initially, she’d go there to grab food, work on her designs, and leave after she finished. but eventually, she started to stay for longer and longer until she’d stay until carat closed. maisie soon realised that is was because she wanted to spend more time with henry. she enjoyed his company and didn’t mind waiting for him even if it was late.

something my muse never found the words to say to yours

for the longest time, maisie never found the words to tell henry that she had a massive crush on him. at first she was just nervous to say something, scared that he wasn’t going to reciprocate her feelings, so she decided to say nothing. the more they flirted with each other, the more she wanted to tell him how she really felt, but she still was too scared to say anything. in the end, after a seriously long time of pining over each other, it was henry who eventually admitted his feelings first.

something my muse wishes they had never said to yours

maisie wishes she had never told henry she didn’t like him in a romantic way back when they were still getting to know each other better. she said those words when they were hanging out with a bunch of friends who were teasing them about their ‘friendship with added flirtation.’ maisie wonders if their relationship would’ve started a lot earlier if she hadn’t uttered those words. she also doesn’t like thinking about how she might’ve made henry feel in that moment.

something your muse does that makes mine feel safe

texts from henry always make maisie feel safe. whether it be a simple good morning, a message asking if she’s made it home safely, or a text asking if she’s feeling okay, seeing a text from henry will always put maisie in a better mood. henry’s quick replies to her messages also make her feel a little better as she knows that his phone is usually on do not disturb. it’s reassuring for maisie to know that she is one of the few people he has notifications for.

something your muse does that makes mine smile

henry’s dumb jokes will always make maisie laugh. he doesn’t joke often, but when he does, it will always put maisie in a better mood. she’ll instantly smile and laugh at whatever he says even if everyone else says it was a dumb joke. she finds him extremely cute and adorable whenever he tries to joke around.

something my muse wants to protect yours from

maisie is very protective over henry and is always quick to defend him when she feels she needs to. however, the main thing maisie mostly wants to ‘protect’ henry from is stress. she knows how hardworking and dedicated he is to his job, but that also means he’s prone to burning out quickly. maisie always tries her hardest to help henry feel better in anyway that she can.

ways my muse says ‘i love you’ without saying those words

maisie mostly shows her love towards henry through her actions. she loves to give him quick kisses and is also the type to cling onto his arm whenever she can. maisie is also quick to read henry’s feelings and will always try to make him feel better. if she sees that he’s tired, she’ll help him unwind. if she sees that he’s upset, she’ll do everything she can to see him smile again. maisie also loves to randomly draw and send henry cute things that she thinks he might like.