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god bless i’m introverted and stay inside as much as possible because the few times i do go out there’s some major side quests going on
#and don’t even get me started on the summers i have spent in morocco#did i really go on vacation to morocco if i didnt almost die??#i genuinely think this all started when i was a few hours old#i’m my mom’s first child and she believed babies couldn’t be fed on their first day on earth????#i almost died and my aunt had to give my mom a reality check 😭😭😭#from there on the side quests and near death experiences just keep finding me#jk its not THAT bad#but even my friends are like how do u barely go out and have a more eventful life than us#ntm i had my oral exam today w 2 teachers and one of them tried to set me up with the other?????#BROOO ??? do not make me kms in front of you now
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I have had a crush on the brides brother since we were 10 and 12 and I flirted with him and left the wedding with his phone number, we refollowed each other on our new instagrams, and he made a point to stop and reintroduce himself because he hadn’t met me since I changed my name and pronouns. best of all? he told me he “fell in love with me” the first day I met him when I jokingly made fun of him and then he tried to cover his ass by joking about the friend of mine he had a crush on for a while bc she led him on and he gave me three hugs goodbye and he liked the pictures I posted from the wedding and liked my Instagram story
#My mom might be trying to set us up?!! not clickbait??#today she was like you and your best friend should drive out to the bar where he works next weekend#OH ?! SHOULD WE?!!?#I literally feel like 13 again hoping he’s attending the same event his mom is that I’m only going to hoping hes there#like I’m so excited that if I didn’t how how I felt about the situation I’d be having a panic attack because I’m so excited that the#feeling in my chest is like an incredibly overwhelming swelling feeling that makes me want to giggle kick my feet and explode#I’m ab little high and in want to happy cry just because yesterday was amazing and I’m excited for the future right now#For the first time in a long time#If he had feelings for me then it’s not unrealistic to think he could again#jumping up and down throwing myself on the floor and giggling until I cry#I might have made a picture of the two photo strips my phone background#I’m so fucking gay and he sees me as a Man#oh my god I want to hold his hand fuck#I found an old picture of the two of us at an event surrounded by people and I can just tell I’m excited to be sitting next to him#I think we were 10 and 12#camshitposts <3
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well that's the worst nightmare I've had in a while
#we were at the grocery store and a shooter came in. my sibling and i were separated at the time.#they died. and i was theone to find their body afterward. so. that fucking sucked.#woke up and strted to cry bc i thought it was real for a second#dream journal#edit bc i dont eant to reblog it to say this but ive had time to process it now#i was the only fucking person who cared that xe died. the dream cut to after the shooter was arrested and we were preparing for xer funeral#i think the dream implied that yhe shooter was an ex employee at the store and my dad and i were trying to like. talk to the owners about Y#Your Ex Employee Killed My Fucking Sibling#and the manager or boss or ehoever just. didnt care. didnt have any sympathy#my dad was there. but he didnt speak. i had to beg the managet to feel anything for the child who was shot and killed in his store.#to pay for xer funeral? i dont know.#we were there getting a blind bag toy xe had talked aout going to get irl since it was a short walk there really#i was looking for those pink chocolate chips.#to make cookies fro my friends#thats why i eoke up thinking it was real i think#most of my set-in-reality nightmares hinge on something that Cant happen anymore. this one was based on Recent Events and Planned Events#i had woken up just before six. when xe gets up for school. so i stared crying bc Oh My God Xe's Dead Xe's Never Going To Go To School Again#i dont think ive looked them in the face at all today.
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Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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babe u reblogged that september post SO MANY TIMES are u ok (you’re actuallly. so valid for this)
this week has been hell haha. Like a bunch of bad stuff decided to happen at the same time to the point where even the friends I’ve talked to about it know most instead of all of it. The only good part of this week has been the past hour and presumably the next one.
#Going to dump it in tags after the filing tags so it gets buried by the read more#amanda gets an ask#drowsgnauggnim#Okay so!#Got covid#Because of Covid I missed a bunch of school#And I had to miss a super fun event my school does that I’m a part of because of a club thing I’m KNOWN for which sucked#Because it’s part of my identity kind of#My night sweats are back which usually means yup I was right! My period#So today has been suffering through first day cramps#Yesterday I went in to get more antibiotics and ended up getting a minor surgery that I was awake for#I have a needle phobia and I got 5 shots to the joint and my fucking toenail taken off and now it looks gross and redressing it for the#First time was hell#So much blood#and my mom is dead set on going to fucking TEXAS for Christmas with relatives I don’t even know and the tickets being our presents#Switching from my dads house to my moms was delayed and I miss my cats#Oh and bc of the covid dinner with my mom and catching up/finishing the bachelorette has been indefinitely post poned#So I haven’t seen my mom in a hot second#And because I missed school there’s a mountain of stuff to catch up on and even the stuff that was already planned I’m struggling with#Oh and very minor but I can’t find the colored pencil I need for my big bang piece
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My sample pins arrived!! 🤩👽🐰
The other three in the Summer Blubbin' set are drying bc the pinbacks came off with their rear protective sheets and I had to glue them back on. 😭 I'm pretty happy with their sizes overall! Bogos binted came out kind of large and the raygun came out kind of small by comparison though, so I'll probably see what I can do to fix them. And with the Blubby pins, I might lower the opacity of her blush, it printed kinda dark.
In addition to these I got a few extra designs for funsies. Some TMBG pins based off the Hotel Detective MV for my friends and I who are going to see them this year!! 🤩 One with that WTTH photo I did a redraw of, just for me. And two JFKs (Clone High) bc I thought they'd make funny collar pins hehe. I keep meaning to watch the new season but I want to watch the original again first... hard to find the time!!
#I have drafts for a bunch of the other original clones too. Maybe sometime down the line I could do em all up.#I think they'd be kinda niche for the events I table at tho???? 😭#I've been having a rough month so these cheered me up today... :')#Further rambles here in the tags:#I'm still waiting for the mini gacha machines I ordered to ship out... im so impatient haha. but im so anxious about them too lol.#worrying theyre going to cancel the order or something 😨😭 idk!!!#ill tell you what though. next time im doing acrylic pins these badboys are going on clear acrylic.#get the fun coloured acrylic he said. it'll look great he said.#it does look great. but the cost is crazy compared to clear. especially bc there are two colours#i know the alien backing colour looks kinda orange but theyre pink!!#also not sure about this but im considering producing the summer blubbin set at all???#or maybe doing that set down the line. just bc the aliens kicked their ass on every interest poll i did LMFAO#or maybe even swapping their backing from orange to the same pink the aliens are on???? 🤔🤔🤔#many things to consider#grafftalk
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Okay so basically the United States MINT of all people is going to be working with DC to make a line of coins! These coins sadly won't be in circulation (the things I would do to live in a world where I could get Batman coins from the supermarket) as they're collectors coins, but will be releasing over the course of the next 3 years, 2025-2027.
Designs haven't been released yet (the same is true for all 2025 designs) but we know there will be 9 coins in total (3 each year) with the first year featuring (of course!!!) Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman.
Although we know the first three heroes to be featured, the remaining six have yet to be decided, and it turns out the Mint is putting out a survey on their site to gauge which of a group of culturally significant heroes people want to see most! (link to the form is mentioned in the article above)
The considered group includes: Supergirl, the Flash, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Captain Marvel, John Stewart GL, Aquaman, Hawkman, Jamie Reyes BB, Robin (Damian?), Cyborg, and Batgirl, of which 6 will be selected.
As someone who does a bit of coin collecting myself (mainly circulation coins like the quarters sets, but I also have a couple proof and collectors coins) I think this is a really cool and interesting idea that showcases the history of the comics medium and these characters and their influence on American culture. Really excited to wait and see what the designs look like for the coins already announced!
#ABSOLUTELY INSANE TO ME#sorry just. only thing that could make this crazier is if these were circulating. i would fucking die actually lmao#i mean you could buy something with one of these legally but like youre an idiot if you do that so likeeee#someone showing up with the solid gold superman collector coin and its only legally worth a dollar lmao#not that someone would do this but future generations/archeologists finding a coin in some ruins and it just has like. batman on it#amazing to me#also just the transition from us currency having all fake people (lady liberty some random native american guy etc.) and then going to real#people and presidents then expanding that to honor people that they believe should be honored (think the harriet tubman coin set right now)#and representing beauty and innovation and culture through representation of the states#only through that lens to swing back around and have fake people on the coins again in the form of the freaking dc trinity. insane to me#no one ever gets me when im nerding out over coins its okay. at least its not postage stamps (i actually do have some special postage stamps#its like 1 sheet though it was for the 2017 eclipse and the image changes from totality to the moon with the heat of your finger theyre so#cool okay) anyways i like dont really know that much abt coins lol i originally saw a post abt this on reddit 💀 lol and had to check this#was real which is insane. anyways my dad got my all my coin stuff ive got a proof set from the year i was born albums to hold the 50 states#and national parks (america the beautiful but its 90% natl park designs lets be honest here) quarter collections as i find them irl#(dont have an album for us women yet sadly but do have some of the coins) as well as a few dimes and other circulation albums i havent used#much. and then i have a few collectibles like the hubble telescope $1 coin the 50th anniversary apollo 11 one and the 2021 anniversary peace#dollar. though like not the gold ones or anything like that lol but yeah. i talk abt coins every once and a while with friends and i know#things but then my dad is in the car and its like nevermind lol.#also put a ? after damian's name bc theres a chance it could be dick and they just used the wrong picture. because some of the character#bios had names but his didnt and seemed very dick grayson (acrobatics mention “batman's partner” etc) but not so specfic exclude either one#and the pick was damian. but then the ollie pick was goateeless for some reason so who knows#culturally dick is more important but dami is current so idk#dc comics#blah#ive really been learning so much today. first all in announcement and subsequent leaks and now this. what a ride#also love how im anticipating and know future comics things lol. when did that happen haha. ive really transitioned from only reading back#issues and never knowing current events to following a lot of releases lol and somehow finding out about the freaking coin collection...#crazy how that happens#cant scroll up at that first image without losing it a bit still actually. what a world we live in. anyways take your bets who is gonna be
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Let's ban group projects at the 4th year level forever
#complaining incoming lol#i know it's cliche to say wahh i'm the group member who does all the work! but in this case holy hell.... i literally am.#my prof has set this assignment up so that the groups had to do all the work over reading week on the forums online#so no in-person contact. we have to create a dialogue about this article and then compile a master document with all our notes#and a comprehensive outline of the article. this is supposed to be presented to the other groups on wednesday.#reading week is over and i have not even heard a hello from a single group member. i made a long post with my notes and NOTHING.#i made that post during the week. literally not a peep from anyone (except for the prof thanking me for posting something). this is stupid.#and i'm about to make another post today because idfc. i just want the grade and then to be done with it. i'm pissed lol.#so i assume i'll be making the master document too?#come on... these are 4th year students. and if maybe they're falling behind because of what's going on in the world -#- then perhaps my professor can extend the project a week longer? she hasn't made any statements about this yet.#like... i think there is a good chance that students are finding it hard to get work done with the current events. myself included.#still pissed. but if that's what's holding people back then i'm sympathetic.
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The weird mix of being stressed out, happy and exhausted... Gonna have to organize once more to get all of this sorted
#the event was scheduled for tomorrow and friday.... shit i was gonna do something on friday ill have to#set up the date for monday... and i just noticed an email i tried to send didnt go through and had to re send it#so i lost time in that....#okay look seari. i know this is good but worst case scenario is that it doesn't happen because of the paperwork#and if that happens look you already started it and will be helpful for something else okay? for now lets focus on tje matters at hand#drink water because its almost 1pm and you hadnt drink any- oh shit- rest because we really need to recover our energy#and lets think and see what we are missing for the stressful stuff#... sigh... after friday we will know my fate...#seari talks#i forgot to schedule the appointment for today... that's okay we still have time... i think... i feel my stomach turning upside down wheb#thinking about the times and how a lot of stuff is out of my control... sigh.... anxiety be damned hahaaha it's okay... lets ACTUALLY rest#because you said you'd take a nao and instead started to do something else#alr alr mimir or rest time
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I know we all hold Snowgrave to be the most suffering we put poor Noelle (and Kris) through in game, but with it only being chapter 2 I can't help but feel like we're only at the tip of the iceberg of pain here 😭 I do not know how things can possibly get worse, and I lowkey fear that. I mean, Noelle is already set up to be one of the most tragic characters in DR, but how far is this alternate route willing to go...?
#snowspeaks#deltarune#random thoughts for today#honest opinion: I don't believe this route will be like the geno route in ut#very very similar in set up and callbacks but the actual events and the ending will be different#anyways just thinking how this girl has literally been a punching bag of terrible events#and it's going to get worse I fear 😭#yes I'm stating an obvious here but I still haf to talk a bit about it myself#noelle holiday#noelle deltarune
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trying to make a gif but it just doesn't look right and I am confused \insert image of guy crying\
ignore that it says Fish and chips
#I feel ya tho sometimes they just dont look right and its like OUGH#idk if you make gifs in the old fashioned way like me or use one of those gif sites#idk about the gif sites but if you use ps I can give you some tips if you dm#Im actually abouta gif right now and plan to make some x files sets today so if you want me to make a gif of whatever it is youre makin#just ask and throw me a vid link :)#EDIT literally in the middle of answering this a huge hail storm came over#and my cats were outside on the veranda so they got caught in it so i had to go rescue them#got drenched myself when i was going to throw my clothes in the wash i smelt pee and realized the cat peed on a pair of tracky pants AND#my bag of paints so i had to wash those and then thunder started happening so i had to quickly go turn off all the electronics#bc my house likes to get struck by lightening and everything has been blown up before#so i was running around like a chicken with my head cut off#Suffice to say you can still send it my way if you want#might not do it till later or tomorrow tho bc LMAO#but yeah. That was eventful lmao#ask#im aware these tags are insane but
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things i did today:
- posed as a posessed woman being healed by jesus for a dramatic photoshoot
- got relationship advice from my favorite bands drummer (the advice was to show my girlfriend studio ghibli movies and break up if she doesn't like them)
- drank about 1,5 liters of mango and orange juice mixed with vodka and red food dye. from cheap little "blood bags"
- did all of the above at work
#personal#we. had a halloween walk-in event. it went very well clearly#in all honesty i spent most of the day running around cleaning and setting up stations#but i had so many nice stupid moments of joy today#also not gonna mention the name of the band in this post because it's a small local band AND revealing clients identities is Not Great#however#my workplace is tagged on my instagram and he's on the story proudly showing off his new tattoo so. if u know my ig go ahead and look#NOT an ad for my instagram btw i would like to keep my professional art insta and my dicking around tumblr as separate as possible#anyways. so glad my life is like this nowadays honestly
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I’ve really not been functioning well mentally lately 😔
#I can’t seem to do my assignments and everytime I sit down to I just space out again and again and forget what I was even doing#I missed my bus stop last week and didn’t notice for a while and had to bus back at 11 at night#i made two kind of scary mistakes while driving today that I would usually never make#even an event I wanted to go to I ended up missing because I spaced out and was 20 minutes late and by then they’d left#I kept forgetting what I was doing in the middle of making dinner and talking to my mom on the phone#I haven’t even eaten dinner and it’s 3am and there’s soggy pasta in the pot that I never got to straining or putting sauce on#I have turned in very few assignments and I keep getting zeroes and I’m pretty sure I flunked a midterm because I couldn’t focus when I#tried to study#I’m worried I’ll genuinely fail out of college this time but I don’t want to leave bc I at least sort of have friends here now who is miss#*I’d#people keep recommending me like focus apps and setting timers and stuff but I forget about those too#I just feel like I’m on a completely different wavelength like I’ve procrastinated before but this is different#like I don’t even remember that I’m supposed to be doing something until I suddenly remember and start to do it and then I forget again#this has never happened before I don’t know what to do#personal
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my day in two pictures:
#very very long and incoherent and whiny rant incoming sorryyyyyy#i hate this. so. sooooo. sooooooooooo much#i could tell that this day was gonna go badly bc of just how well yesterday went (my lxl fan novels and curry meshi deliveries came in)#so anyway. i woke up late bc i slept late (thanks lxl event story lmaoo) and stuff happened so i left my place later than usual#but surpriseeeee it rained the moment i stepped out of the elevator. and the bus was coming in 3 minutes!!!!#so i ran across the carpark in the rain to take a shortcut. that was fine. whatever. but then i saw the bus turn in and—#for some reason my legs just. stopped moving. i couldn’t run anymore :( battery? depleted. bus? left right in front of my very eyes :(#and the next bus was set to come in 10 minutes ಥ‿ಥ so that was freakin’ fantastic.#anyways the bus came and took me to the interchange where the dumb train station was. and when i got to the platform… the train just left.#and the next train was set to come in 5 minutes. which was great news for me who had an hour to get to work#so the train came. the hour-long journey went. and when i reached the bus stop to transfer to the bus to get to work… the bus had just left#so with some time (read: 10 minutes) to spare i decided to get some bread for dinner…#unfortunately the bakery place thing i went to did not accept card payments ಥ‿ಥ so i decided to rely on qr code payments instead#big. mistake. (ʘ‿ʘ) my payment was rejected 4 times before i gave up and decided to use cash#unfortunatelyyyyyyy i had no $10 notes left for a quick and easy payment (i only had 2 $2 notes and a $50 note along with some coins) so i.#cue a panicked small change counting as i desperately tried to count as quickly as possible while the customer after me pressured me :(#and did i mention that a lady cut my queue while i was waiting to pay???? (ʘ‿ʘ) pain and suffering#thankfully i barely managed to catch the bus after that tizzy but i was already late for work by then :(#anyways i arrived at work late and decided to check my email app for the lolz. biiiiiig mistake!!!!!!!#i noticed that i had a new email from my father (derogatory) whom i had ghosted years ago. like??? why did he have to email today???#my day was bad enough without him pls gimme a break. i just. suffering???????????#so i get to my workstation (the worst workstation ever istg) and note that there actually aren’t many samples today! yay!#…then they freakin’ brought in like 200+ more samples and i realised that the morning shift had yet to finish weighing the morning samples—#pain. and. suffering. (ʘ‿ʘ) looks like i’ll have to work till 3am again.#ughhhhh why did today’s happenings have to happen this week??????? this isn’t a biologically good week for me i’m gonna. throw someone istg#i’m exhausted and annoyed and hating everything and anything sooooo hard rn and i think i need anger management classes bc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—#ok rant over time to cry ig. idk. i s w e a r i’m gonna smacc the morning shift people tomorrow if i don’t call out sick first—#it is suiyoubi my dudes
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Truly astonishing to me that Google Calendar still doesn’t have a batch delete feature
#i lament this every day#but no more so than today#when i was like ''i wonder what this huge amount of timestamped data would look like in a calendar''#but accidentally imported one batch of it into my home calendar instead of the one i set up for the data#it's.......so many events#just going to have to export the calendar and delete everything in icalendar#and then start from scratch
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Had an improv class tonight, and honestly it was WILD how much more relaxed we all were at the end of the third hour compared to the end of the first.
#Xayk Yaps#Honestly I Can't Explain The Fuckin'...Timeliness Of It Being On The One Thursday This Month That There's No CR#IMMEDIATELY Following The Episode That Was More Interesting In 3 Hours Than The Last 13 Episodes Combined#While Also Setting Up An Actual Interesting Story Beat (The Culminating Event In Fact!!!!) For The First Half Of The Upcoming Episode#One Of These Days I'll Actually Have A Free Thursday Evening#But Obviously Today Is NOT That Day#Now I Gotta Debate If I Wanna Do An Open-Book Open-Note Midterm Or Just Workout And Go To Bed Lol
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