#[ tHIS ISN'T ONE LINER ANYMORE BUT SHE HAD THOUGHTS

[lunaetis]

▸▸ [ @zorkaya || changli one-liner call ]

─「长离」─  " what is it you are searching for ? " as someone who had watched humanity rise and fall, someone who had guided fated and chosen ones along the path they were supposed to follow, the zhūquè was more than aware of the other's disassociation. not only to the city of jinzhou, or huanglong, but the entirety of this world. she did not belong, an outsider, an outlier.

                " you are here yet you are not present, not in your entirety. where and what are you chasing, worlds traveler ? "

[writer-in-theory]

berry sweet on your lips

TW: Period-typical homophobia, Some Internalized homophobia, Implied abuse (Steve's dad is a pos)

When Steve was seven, his Mama caught him in her makeup.

He was sitting up on the bathroom counter, sloppily drawn eyeliner over his eyelids and trying to apply bright cherry red lipstick to his lips without smearing. The application process required so much focus he hadn't realized when the front door opened downstairs, or when his mom called repeatedly for him to come down to dinner. He did hear the surprised little yelp from her though, and the sigh once she realized which eyeliner he'd accidentally broken.

"Honey, those aren't toys to play with." His Mama's voice was tight like she was barely containing her frustration at the lost products. Dad always made her upset, and Steve didn't want to add to it. So it didn't seem like a good time to correct her, that no, he wasn't trying to play. He'd seen how pretty makeup could make people, and he wanted it. He wanted to be pretty.

Instead, he sighed and nodded, hopping down from the counter. "Sorry, Mama."

"It's okay, baby, that stuff just isn't for kids to play with. C'mon, let's get you washed up and we can get some dinner."

It wasn't the last time he'd thought about makeup, though it took years until Steve found the courage to try again.

--

It happened when he was fourteen in Carol Perkins's basement. He, Tommy, and Carol spent most nights together anymore. The Perkins' always volunteered to babysit Steve when he was younger and his Mama started going on business trips with his dad, and they always let Tommy come over so he wouldn't be left out. That basement with its bright tie-dyed blankets scattered around and posters of every attractive celebrity you could imagine felt more like home than his own house.

Maybe that was why he felt so comfortable suggesting it in the first place.

"Ugh, I need more girl friends, honestly," Carol groaned, flopping back onto the pile of pillows and blankets she'd acquired.

"What now? We're not entertaining enough?" Tommy teased from where he and Steve were playing air hockey. Steve's knuckles were sure to bruise tomorrow from the speed with which they were knocking the puck at each other but they hadn't stopped laughing yet. "Need to go braid Tina's hair and talk about boys?"

"You're not boring," Carol clarified, "but it'd be nice to do someone's makeup and talk about boys every once in awhile. A girl needs some gossip."

Tommy laughed, so Steve laughed too because it seemed the right thing to do. But really...it didn't sound so bad, did it? So when the laughter died down, he spoke up. "You could put makeup on me, I don't care," Steve shrugged.

He did. He did care so much. Even the thought of it made his heart flutter, threatening to fly away at any second.

"Really?" Carol raise one eyebrow, sitting all the way up and twisting around to face him. "You'd let me put makeup on you? The whole thing, I don't do boring makeup."

"C'mon, man, don't let her do that to you," Tommy groaned, but Steve just shrugged again and abandoned the air hockey table, coming over to sit down on the floor with Carol.

"It washes off, right?" As if he hadn't known how easy it was to swipe off red lipstick, though it would always leave a deep tint to his lips like he'd been eating berries. "It can't hurt."

It at least made Carol happy, and seeing her smile as she rushed off to retrieve her makeup bag made Tommy's grumbles about ditching the game worth it.

And you know, it was fun. Carol was actually gentle, and seemed to know what she was doing. Steve had his eyes closed most of the time while she brushed powder and liner on them, as she swiped mascara on and tried to perfect whatever glamorous look she'd seen in her latest magazine. She did talk about boys too, all about which girl had crushes on each boy that they knew, and why Eric Thompson was the most crushed on boy in Hawkins Middle.

"Eric Thompson? Get a grip, Perkins, you can do so much better than him," Steve told her, laughing at her indignant shout.

"Seriously. The guy's a total meathead," Tommy called from where he was sprawled out across one of the couches, idly watching whatever movie the Perkins' decided to rent for the night.

"You're a total meathead," Carol shot back in return. "Not Stevie here, though. No, I think after I tell all the girls about what a good guy you are, you'll be the new king of Hawkins Middle."

"Screw Hawkins Middle, I better be king of Hawkins High for this," Steve laughed, only because he had no idea how to thank her for it. By the time he'd left the Perkins' house the next morning, the bright eyeshadow and tacky lip gloss had been washed away but the feeling of pure peace it had brought him persisted.

--

Steve hadn't dared try again, not until he was sixteen and saw a guy wearing nail polish. It was one of the Seniors, the one who wore all black and who the whole basketball team called The Freak. And maybe he was a freak, Steve didn't really ever have a reason to talk to him and find out, but the sight of the swath of black over his nails left Steve breathless.

"You taking photography this semester, Harrington?" The guy—something Munson, Steve thinks—asked when Steve hadn't stopped staring in the hallway.

"Huh?" Steve startled, looking down both sides of the hallway as if to check if any of his friends were seeing who he was talking to. "No?"

"Shame," Munson let out a little 'tsk' noise, the way Steve's dad always did when he was disappointed. "You could've taken a picture and made it last longer."

Oh, oh. Steve's face flushed red, and the second he saw a flash of another green and orange letterman he panicked. They would know, oh God they'd see him with The Freak and it would all be over, they would figure out that he wanted to paint his nails too and—

Steve wasn't proud of the words spoken after that. They lingered far after he'd said them, swirling in his head until it sounded a little more like his dad was repeating them over and over again, reminding Steve of just what kind of person he was to stay clear away from.

It was that guilt that finally convinced him to go to Melvald's, where the kind woman at the counter didn't question why he was buying the cheapest makeup products he could find. He didn't even know if any of it would look good together, he just knew he needed it. He needed a way to see himself like this before he messed up again where someone could see, where someone could figure him out.

And so began the careful ritual. Every night he'd rush home from practice, lock his bedroom door even though he knew his parents were away on another trip, and swipe the makeup over his eyes, cheeks, lips. He got better at it with every attempt, until the liner wasn't shaky and his lipstick didn't look like it had already been kissed off (and now, wasn't that a thought).

--

Except that was the trouble with secrets, wasn't it? They couldn't stay buried for long, not when Hawkins was so small and this felt so much larger than the town, than the state, than anything Steve had ever been apart of.

It was only a matter of time until his dad found out.

That night he'd been sloppy, unprepared for his parents to come home early. The light in the upstairs bathroom had gone out and instead of changing it he'd moved downstairs, where the lights had already been switched out to a cooler white that made it easier to see what colors he was painting his skin with.

Steve Harrington was pretty sure he would die that night, all over deep red lipstick and perfectly-drawn eyeliner.

He didn't know where he was running to, all he knew was that he couldn't stay in Loch Nora. He ran until he was near the edge of town, nothing but trees and the one road leading out surrounded him. Steve hadn't had his car keys on him, and there was no way he could go back for them without facing his dad's righteous anger. Steve let out a painful cry, finding nothing left to do but lay down on the pavement and stare at the stars. He was barely eighteen, no car, no money except whatever bills were stuffed in his pocket, no plan. Just himself and that damned red lipstick still lingering like berry-stained evidence on his lips.

He didn't move for anything. Not when the night grew chilly enough to freeze his joints and prick up goosebumps on his arms. Not when the rumble of an old car engine came roaring in the distance, or for the subsequent squeal of brakes and a loud horn.

"Shit, Harrington, I know you have air for a brain but what the fuck are you do—" The person cut themselves off, like from seeing the state of him. They'd probably hit him too, kick at him while he was down because why the fuck did he think he could get away with this shit in the middle of nowhere Indiana?

"Shit, Harrington," the voice hissed again, sounding as pained as Steve thought he should feel.

"Get on with it," Steve voiced, voice rough with tears and the violent yells his dad had hit out of him.

"Get on with what?"

Steve rolled his eyes, turning his head to meet Eddie Munson's gaze. He wondered if he still painted his nails. He wondered if it even mattered, because even Eddie Munson didn't do what Steve did. "I'm tired, man. If you're gonna get your revenge on me make it quick."

That startled Eddie, reminding Steve of just how expressive the guy was. It was almost humorous, the way his head reeled back and his eyes widened impossibly far.

"Get in the van, Harrington."

Right, if Eddie was gonna murder him he couldn't do it out in the open, not where anyone could be driving by.

So Steve picked himself up from the ground, not bothering to brush off his jeans before sliding into the passenger seat. They didn't talk the whole drive. No music played. They just sat in complete and total silence, punctuated only by the nervous taps of Eddie's hand on the steering wheel.

Eddie Munson must be stupider than he was. Most murderers wouldn't drive their victim to their own trailer before finishing the job. Though, Steve supposed all Eddie had to say was that he saw Steve Harrington wearing lipstick and it'd all be waved away. Upstanding citizen, that Eddie Munson was.

"Shower's back there, there's a first aid kit on the shelf," Eddie spoke, unable to stand still once they got inside the trailer.

And that, well that was just downright weird. Steve tilted his head to the side, eyeing the little hallway Eddie waved his hand at like it might jump at him. "What's happening?"

"What do you mean?" Eddie sounded tired, like he hadn't slept in weeks. Steve felt like he'd never slept at all, like he might never again.

"You...aren't you gonna...?"

"I mean, I could if you think you're gonna fall," Eddie said nervously, eyes also watching the hallway. "Just tryin' to protect your modesty, man."

"What?" Nothing was making sense, and Steve was beginning to wonder if maybe his head had hit the tile floor one too many times because this was supposed to be simple, cut and dry.

"Can you just go clean up, Harrington?"

"Why?"

"Because I hate seeing all that damn blood on you, okay?" Eddie snapped out, voice raising in pitch the more worked up he got. "I don't know what the hell happened, but I hate it."

Oh.

"You're not...you're not gonna...?" Steve repeated, including a lackluster air punch.

That seemed to make everything click in place for Eddie. He sucked in a breath and both hands flew to the top of his head, scraping through his unruly curls. "Shit, you think? Nah, man, I'm not a piece of shit like whoever did that to you. C'mon."

Eddie started walking down the hallway, and honestly this all felt so vaguely dreamlike Steve couldn't do anything but follow, wordlessly sitting on the toilet lid where Eddie waved for him to be. The other man was knelt between his legs, wiping off his face with a wet washcloth. His touch was gentle, experienced as he wiped away the blood and set to work rubbing antibiotic onto each open cut.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Steve whispered out, eyes focused on the barest hint of eyeliner on Eddie's eyes. The other man clearly wasn't wearing it to be pretty though. No, this was drawn on with intentional haste, and made Eddie look so fucking badass that Steve didn't know what to do about it. "I sucked in school. I was awful to you."

Eddie's hands didn't stop, brown eyes focused on Steve's lips as he wiped at the split in the lower one. He could see the breath hitch in the other man's chest though, a quick collapse of Eddie's chest before his breath restarted at a normal rhythm. "You did suck, but that doesn't mean you deserve this."

Steve didn't say anything else, couldn't really. Not when the lump in his throat grew until he was sure he would never be able to breathe again, and the tears began to spill without inhibition. And Eddie, well Eddie let him. He just kept patching him up, never saying anything, never berating him or looking disgusted by the tears. He just sat with Steve while he let it out, eyes looking to Steve's every so often as if to check he was okay.

"I think something's wrong with me." The whisper sounded so loud in the tiny bathroom, echoing around and around and smacking into Steve's chest repeatedly.

"No." It was the first time Eddie seemed bothered by anything Steve said all night, fingers gripping tightly around the corner of the counter he was holding to keep himself steady. "There's nothing wrong with you."

Steve opened his mouth to say something, but Eddie cut him off. He looked Steve right in the eyes, a kind of fire lighting up in those dark brown eyes of his. "Steve Harrington, there is nothing wrong or broken or shameful about you. So you like to wear makeup, lots of guys do."

"I've never met anyone who does."

"Because you're in Bumfuck, Indiana," Eddie continued on, never sounding more passionate than he did now. It was intense, sure, but Steve had longed for someone, anyone, to say what Eddie was now. And of course it was the guy with the painted nails he'd been enraptured by years before. "Just you wait, pretty boy, there's a whole world out there with people like us."

Like us. Like us.

"C'mon, you need some sleep. We can figure out the details in the morning."

"Wait...what?"

Eddie laughed a little, shattering the heavy moment with a burst of pure warmth. He stood up and offered a ringed hand out to help Steve up despite him not needing it. Eddie's hand was cold in his own, but it felt right there.

"Try to keep up, Harrington," he teased. "If you don't mind sharing a bed, you can stay here. Us freaks have to stick together, right?"

"I mean...your uncle won't...?"

"Nah, Wayne'll love pissin' Robert Harrington off," Eddie answered coolly, "And he's cool with...everything."

And despite Steve's skepticism, he was. Wayne Munson was pretty much the greatest support anyone could ever have. His face had flashed dangerously when Steve admitted what happened, saying the world had no place for men who hit their boys (Steve wondered only briefly why the topic seemed to pain Wayne so much). And living with Eddie Munson, well, it was great. The trailer was small and Eddie kicked in his sleep, but Eddie also smiled from the second he was awake and the no place had ever quite felt like home in the way the Munson trailer did.

And the next time Steve found the courage to sit and do his makeup, it came with bright smiles instead of that old, lingering fear.

[progamer27]

Thoughts on Helluva Boss "Mastermind"

It was... a mid episode.

I mean, glad to see Stolas get "punished" and Blitz getting some adoration... but it doesn't feel earned. It doesn't feel right.

We got to see the rest of the Sins and a good chunk of the Goetias... but they really didn't do much.

The "I love you guys" from Blitz was, admitedly, one of the better parts of the episode - as well as "take care of Loona for me" bit.

But it all just... felt like too little, too nothing.

Why couldn't Vivzie have had Stolas appear and do:

Stol: Actually, we had an agreement: he plowed me, I lent him the grimoire.

Blitz: And then we parted ways AFTER he gave me a crystal that does the same thing as the book.

THAT way, we would have achieved the same result: Stolas punished (this time for more justifiable reasons), Blitz and his crew off the hook (maybe the Imp population still appreciates Blitz, and takes his side a bit more), and Andri-Ice gets an actual useful reason to out Stolas.

Cut a good chunk of the Goetias that didn't do anything, cut Belphegor and Leviathan, cut Striker.

It could have been a lot better.

Which brings me to a "Problem" I've seen in past Helluva Boss episodes, but here it's too evident:

They (people working on the show) are less concerned about telling a story that is ENTERTAINING and that makes (at least a little bit of) sense, and more concerned about Songs (which I mostly skip), One-Liners/Action-Scenes (meh.), and Fan-Pandering (for a specific part of the fanbase)

So, those were my thoughts.

(And, for those asking "well, why do you still watch HB if you don't like it", I've got two things to say.

It mostly pops up every time a new episode or short is released, and my curiosity eventually wins.

I still (naively, hopefully) am waiting for an INTERESTING Episode. So far, most of the Season 2 ones weren't really that memorable (Exception being, the Blitz and Fizz Friendship Renewal one. And part of Apology Tour)

Alright, peace)

EDIT: And now, my opinion on the crator herself!

...is it just me, or does it feel like HH and HB have been Viv's Furry/Musical Ideas given life?

I mean, the whole of ZOOPHOBIA (Vivziepop's first project, who then got dropped) is essentially furry stuff. It's an all-too-easy joke to make.

And the majority of HH and HB has mainly animal-esque characters parading about (which, as far as Internet is concerned, means "Furry")

And no, I'm not going to talk about the "Acephobia" or "Mis-rappresentaion" or "Abuser-friendly" stuff that concerns her characters - mainly because I didn't experience these things, I should let someone who has actual experience with these things talk about it, and because I watch these two shows for the Entertainment.

no no no. My problem with Viv is that, from what I've seen, she seems like a Manchild who is trying to make "Cool, Dark and Profound Characters and Stories", but ends up making Edgy 2010's-like Characters and Stories. Of the mediocre-to-bad kind you would find on Deviantart.

Like, it would be half-understandable if Viv didn't go to Animation/Writing School: at least that way, she has an excuse for why her characters and world-building fall flatr.

Yet that isn't the case. She DID GO to Animation school. And She probably knows how to write a character, if Fizzaroli (the character who is considered the best-written in both shows) is anything to go by.

And then, there's Helluva Shorts. And these shorts... are actually fun. They actually make me smile or chuckle a bit, with some neat jokes at times.

So, why? Why doesn't Vivziepop show THIS level of care and consistency with her other crations? Is she still interested in these shows, or is she writing out of a sense of self-obligation (like "I don't feel passionate anymore, but dropping it is a personal loss for me)?

[randomnameless]

Regarding to the negative character development in Nopes. How do you consider Supreme leader's route to be worse than the original route? I wanna know your thoughts on her character and the route itself.

You mean on Supreme Bullshit?

I prefer her in CF - even if we have the "lel professor Supreme Leader was mourning you for 5 years while you were absent (and no one conveniently thought to explore that damn ravine where you fell to see if maybe you were still alive) but now that you've returned we can maybe stop being in a stalemate against Faerghus and finally roll over Derdriu!" pandering shit, because even if it came with wonderful Supreme One Liners and Replies, in CF, Supreme Leader kills her enemies herself!

Sure it comes at the cost of the most badass Shonen Explosion I've ever seen in the FE Series, and yet, for her, that explosion meant her role was ultimately reduced to the role of a mosquito : sure it's annoying and you want to smash it, but when you look around to find someone/something to smash it, you happen on an agressive venomous snake, who cares about the mosquito now?

We know how fandom is about Supreme Leader and her actions and her uwu agency - in Supreme Bullshit, we're left in the vague about what her MAGA plans entails because she doesn't finish her quest - Nopes ends before the epilogue - and it's almost as if the Nopes!devs didn't want her to deal final blows herself, or have her hands be "as clean" as possible as the ones who are erased are either peons or secondary/tertiary characters : Supreme Leader isn't the one who splits Rhea's head open in this route, Rhea and Thales take each other out, heck, she doesn't want to liberate Fodlan from inhuman monsters anymore, it's Claude who parrots to whoever wants to listen that Rhea has to die (and yet, Supreme Leader still wants to make Garreg Mach Rhea's tomb... maybe it's a considerate gesture on her part, to have her reunite with her family?) Speaking of him if conditions are reunited, he "forces her" to kill him, because he betrays her first :'(

In CF, Supreme Leader - when she finally has the means (aka Billy!) to do so - attacks all of her enemies, even turning against the Agarthans (rip cornelia?) and it's only because the plot is held by duct tape and chewing-gum that she somehow avoids retaliation because Uncle is too stupid and wasted his nukes on Arianrhod instead of nuking Firdhiad when both Supreme Leader and Rhea would be there !

However, the facts still stand : Supreme Leader dealt a blow at the Agarthans, ended the Nabatean presence in Fodlan, personally erased Faerghus' line of Kings and conquered the Alliance.

Sure she tells Balthus she will crush everyone who doesn't side with her, but when it comes to Lords/Main antagonists... when CF had her swing Aymr - even against defeated characters who fell on their knees and aren't fighting anymore - SB brings out convoluted circumstances to either has her fight because she is attacked and thus on the defensive (which is rich when she's supposed to be the invader!) by an ally whose motivation never made sense but who is now suddenly betraying her and all of his former allies who joined with her (GG Clout) or... Rhea gets her Big Damn Hero moment, fulfilling the initial promise/oath she swore on that route (help humans to get rid of Agarthans) and supposedly dies in the process, while Supreme Leader - the oathbreaker - pulls out her best impression of Tuxedo Mask "my job here is done - but you didn't do a thing" ending on a High Five.

Imo it's very telling that the only main character who can be alive at the end of SB is Dimitri - because he is the character Supreme Leader wants dead at all costs, and if the Nopes!Devs wrote Zarhofl as they did, I wonder how they could and might have justified a metting between the two that doesn't end up in Supreme Leader Aymr'ing him (maybe Cornelia would have conviently warped there and stabbed him to death, so her hands would still be "clean" ?).

In short, I prefer CF!Supreme Leader (or her FE16 version sans the pandering) because she is determinate and wants to achieve her goals, even if she has to be ruthless to do so - and we see that ruthlessness (even if it's poorly executed) in CF, Supreme Leader kills named and main characters to MAGA (and to free humanity from those vile subhumans).

In SB, she is always... put in situations where she "has to" protect herself from either backstabbing allies, or, when push comes to shove, her enemies are conveniently at the same place at the same time and take each other out : FFS, it's Rhea who takes out the leader of the Agarthans, and it's Thales who removes Nabateans from Fodlan. What is all that determination good for if, in the end, she's not the one solving the issues?

Oh, and because I'm petty like that : why the fuck the sailor fuku, seriously - sure her red dress (the one from her legendary version!) isn't as, uh, battle compatible as, say, Queen Elincia's battle outfit, and yet there's something really disturbing about the Sailor Fuku. Supreme Leader is regal, commanding, even with the red dress. Her final outfit (Willy's armor retrofitted with boobplates?) is, well, a full suit of armor, Supreme Leader is a warrior and leading her troops to victory, she will battle and fight herself even in melee.

The Sailor Fuku is... just some generic Anime design, I know she has a plate but come on, comparing this to her Emperor battlesuit, it's almost as if we're not in the same genre anymore - it's war phase now, Supreme Leader is dead serious about her plans and her ambition, she's not the "school girl who will also go to war!" - compare the three outfits, which one doesn't scream "Emperor" to you?

So yeah, short (short) story : while I like SB for Shonen explosions and more exposition about Adrestia, imo, this route is worse for Supreme Leader's agency than any other route in FE16 (AG takes the cake in its last part though!) because while she has it, in the end, she doesn't do a thing with it :

MAGA? Dimitri cannot be killed in the game, she leaves the task to Clout who doesn't do it and worse, who can betray her :( so she has to kill him :(

Frre Humanity from the sekrit nabatean illuminati and the agarthan terrorists? She just kicks them from their homes (Agarthans managed to infiltrate Adrestia, she kicks them out of her land) and they managed to take each other out.

Sure, she knows how to highfive at the end of this route, but was it really worth all those sacrifices, aka, to get rid of conqueror and determinate!Supreme Leader to have instead sailor fuku!Supreme Leader who knows how to highfive?

I know they're not meant to be compared because different circumstances and all, but can you imagine a second, a Jugdral spin-off AU much like Nopes is, where Arvis wears a high school uniform but Siggy, Manfroy and Travant accidently kill each other so he gets the continent on a silver platter without having to do any fighting or planning himself?

That's Supreme Bullshit for Supreme Leader, and that's why I think this route doesn't paint her in the best light, especially compared to her FE16 version.

[nellie-elizabeth]

tagged by @awildwickedslip, thank you!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

103.

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

1,825,148

3. What fandoms do you write for?

magicians and roswell, new mexico primarily! Also wrote a good omens fic recently but that might be a one and done for now.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

tales from a bookshop (good omens post season 2, fairly sure I'll never write anything this popular ever again because holy shit)

Lover's Touch - Queliot fic!

Promises - Queliot fic!

Maybe This Time - Queliot fic!

Fragments - Queliot fic!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I didn't used to in my earlier fandom days but now I'm pretty consistent about it.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I once wrote a major character death fic for Queer as Folk where Justin died. Not really my style anymore. Back in my ff.net days I also wrote Merthur major character death fic, I'm just remembering.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I always try and do happily ever afters! A lot of my stories end with a sense of "and then they continue on their adventures, and life isn't always simple or easy", so in terms of the most pure, joyful ending? I guess I'll go living proof, which is the end of my episode series for Roswell, NM, which is just a "now they're married and happy forever" fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have before, but not as a rule. Once got called an abuse apologist & incest support (oh the horror /s) for exploring the canonical close friendship (not even a romantic relationship!) between two dudes from Shadowhunters lmao. And there's a troll in the Roswell fandom who writes hilarious and idiotic unhinged rants and I've been hit by her before, but she's got a scatter-shot approach and attacks a lot of people, so, at least I know it's nothing personal.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yep! What is meant by "what kind" here? lol. I'm pretty vanilla. Mostly m/m, but I usually don't pass over the chance for m/m/f. I actually recently wrote my very first m/f full-on sex scene ever for a little Magicians snippet, Kady/Penny lol.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No, I don't wrote crossovers in the sense that characters from various worlds don't meet each other in my fics. HOWEVER, two of my favorite things I've ever written have been Magicians AUs that crossed over the characters from that show with the full plot from other films. One is The Old Guard (A Comet Pulled From Orbit), and one is When Harry Met Sally (When Quentin Met Eliot).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, a few times! Used to happen a lot back with old ff.net stuff, and I recently had my good omens fic translated.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I'm co-writing a series right now! First time I've ever done it and it's a blast.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

uhhhhh don't make me choose? lmao. In terms of fandom engagement and longevity I guess Queliot at this point. But in terms of... the ships that made me discover and appreciate and explore fandom in the first place? Kirk/Spock and Brian/Justin. Classics.

16. What are your writing strengths?

dialogue and tone setting, I think?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

plot details (I get bored and distracted mapping things out)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

tbh I usually wince when I see it in fic? I'm not a fan. It always feels a little silly. Maybe very very sparingly if there's like a singular phrase or term of endearment or something but I'd rather just indicate that someone is speaking another language rather than write it out. I feel like it can often be tokenizing if you just have one character who's bilingual and you give them little one-liners in a different language. Idk. If the author is bilingual and doing a thing, then that's awesome. But I can usually tell when someone's just using google translate for stuff lol.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Gilmore Girls!

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

I'm gonna cheat and name one each for my two big fandoms. Also idk if these are my favorites but they're two I really love that aren't my most popular:

Regrets, or the Absence Thereof (Magicians)

all the roads that lead you there (Roswell)

tagging @portraitofemmy @spiders-hth-is-an-outlier @orchardsinsnow @r-dtoblack and YOU if you're reading this and want to play!

[toonlegion]

REVIEW: Suicide Squad Kill The Justice League

"Repost from a comment I made on a video"

Meh, that the long and short of it for me. It's a decent enough shooter, fun transversal and the bosses are decent (though the Batman one could've been better, I heard Twitter gushing about the role reversal of being hunted by him, but it's just an interactive cutscene near the start of the game. The proper showdown isn't as inventive, if anything I'm annoyed they had to ruin the mystique of Knight's ending). But the story I honestly could care less about.

Suicide Squad has just been a "whatever" bunch to me across all media I've seen them in and it's usually always the same plot: forced into service, a lot of bickering while doing a mission, think they see a way out of Waller's grasp, it goes fubar, complete mission, right back where they started. It doesn't help I don't like Amanda at all, she was at least decent in the JL toon, but each appearance since then has slowly turned up her bitchiness and this game REALLY extenuated that to the point I was groaning anytime she comes back into play. No offense to Deborah Wilson, loved her since the MadTV days and normally enjoy seeing her digital self in stuff like the new Call of Duty and the Jedi souls-like games. But the writing here makes me want to tear my ears out every time she's ranting and raving, even when the squad is doing their jobs as ordered. Jesus, even Nick Fury on his bad days wasn't this bad. Beyond that, I was just shrugging, some bits did make me chuckle and most had me groaning at how try-hard to be edgy or comedic, felt like a New 52 version of this setting with the tone-deafness.

They don't really do anything with the Justice League other then being mustache twirling villains via the mind control, save Diana and even she hardly does much with her scant appearances because the plot can't work if she manages to save the day. Especially wasn't fond how some of the JL get send off, yeah Batman's death felt disingenuous and I really feel sorry for Arkham-verse fans that they now have to be reminded of this game down the line when they replay those games. But at the least his had gravatas to it (and I'm not heartless, I did like the little tribute they gave to Kevin at the end). Flash? Gets peed on after he's defeated. Lantern, decent but ruined by Deadshot's one liner, and Superman, oh that ONE pissed me off because they don't even bat an eye at him before the game moves on with he plot. Superman, man of steel, one of the most popular heroes, is just a damn footnote in this game. Are you kidding me?!

After that, I honestly didn't care anymore, about Brainiac, about the multi-verses and the Brainiacs that control them essentially pulling a Kang the Conqueror situation (and no I don't care about spoilers, this game doesn't care about the fans why should I?). By the end, it essentially ends on "Hey congrats you beat it but this is just part 1 of the story, more to come. Pay us money in the live service to see the rest of it in the season passes."

Speaking of, why did they have to make this an online only game on launch? Crashed a few times setting you back a ways, glitches that turned the enemies into statues, and several soft-locks. Ugh, there's a reason off-line modes are a thing from the start. Say what you will about Resident Evil 6, I know how many fans loathe that game, but Capcom at the least had the sense to include that mode on launch. So how is it Rocksteady didn't have that same thought process? Really only good thing I can say is it does look fun with friends from most videos I've seen and I guess that's what they're aiming for to keep it afloat. I've seen some people on Twitter liking it but let's see if those same masses will stay loyal for the long haul.

Again it's decent, the game's world is huge I will give it that, but doesn't give you much to do outside same missions of break shield, defend car, destroy cannon, take out horde, defend this routines. Nor does Metropolis feel as characterized as Arkham City and Gotham in "Knight". With those, I wanted to explore and see the nooks and crannies of it. Here, it feels cluttered and a lot of buildings look the same, very little stands out to me. Maybe because the game doesn't really let you breathe with the constant alien attacks to do so. Oh but the Riddler challenges are back.... Why? "Knight" burned me out on these, so I did not care when he returned and was wondering why he was even here in the first place. They couldn't pick anyone else for this? And level up is just, eh. You grind, you get better guns and costumes, ho hum. At the least it's faster then Gotham Knights.

Overall this is just average, a step up in presentation but really lacking that quality of the previous Arkham games. You'll either dig it or your won't, it's already divisive on social media as is. So all I can say, play it yourself if your curious and make your own judgement. At the least, it's not a must-buy, if you wanna wait, be my guest, you won't be missing anything if you do and you have plenty of other games to keep you busy in the meantime (Tekken 8, Like A Dragon Infinite Wealth, and the upcoming Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth at the time of this writing).

[jeanmoreaux]

top five book quotes that haven't left your mind since you've read them!! <3

omg juno that’s a such a superior prompt!! so the way i decided on this is literally just the first 5 quotes that popped into my head because that has to mean something, right?

also some of these quotes are SO LONG (don’t worry i don’t know them by heart). i thought i indulge in the ones that are not just punchy one liners (for once). everything is under the cut <3

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.” — the bell jar by sylvia plath

He smiled, "Why, you will go home and then you will find that home is not home anymore. Then you will really be in trouble. As long as you stay here, you can always think: One day I will go home." He played with my thumb and grinned. "N'est-ce pas?" "Beautiful logic," I said. "You mean I have a home to go to as long as I don't go there?" He laughed. "Well, isn't it true? You don't have a home until you leave it and then, when you have left it, you never can go back." — giovanni’s toom by james baldwin

“Once having set up her idols and built altars to them it was inevitable that she would worship there. It was inevitable that she should accept any inconsistency and cruelty from her deity as all good worshippers do from theirs. All gods who receive homage are cruel. All gods dispense suffering without reason. Otherwise they would not be worshipped. Through indiscriminate suffering men know fear and fear is the most divine emotion. It is the stones for altars and the beginning of wisdom. Half gods are worshipped in wine and flowers. Real gods require blood.” — their eyes were watching god by zora neale hurston

“When a person dies, he only appears to die. He ist still very much alive in the past... All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist. It is just an illusion we have here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone it is gone forever.” — slaughterhouse-five by kurt vonnegut

“I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.” — the song of achilles by madeline miller

honorable mentions:

“Humans were so circular; they lived the same slow cycles of joy and misery over and over, never learning. Every lesson in the universe had to be taught billions of times, and it never stuck. Maybe it was good that the world forgot every lesson, every good and bad memory, every triumph and failure, all of it dying with each generation. Perhaps this cultural amnesia spared them all. Perhaps if they remembered everything, hope would die instead.” — blue lily, lily blue by maggie stiefvater

“For me, culture is as much about what we encourage as what we actually permit,” […] “Most people don't do what we tell them to. They do what we let them get away with.” — beartown by fredrik bachman

“I didn't fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we'd choose anyway. And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you “ — the chaos of the stars by kiersten white (technically cheating because i have not read this book i only know this quote but i think about it every now and then sooooo)

ask me my top 5 anything

[dausy]

My review of Disneys Wish which isn't at all organized or even well thought out. I'm just spamming text at the screen and hope it makes sense. Spoilers

I went into Wish with super high hopes because the internet was already tearing it to pieces based on the character models alone. I had high hopes that just meant people were missing an artistic style choice that the trailer didn't show. I also had hoped it would be a classic Disney Princess fairy tale. I really just wanted that, the classic disney princess. I have not been a fan of the animated films that are more artsy or explorative on different types of villains that aren't just a traditional badguy. We've had a lot of puberty/growing up as the villain or generational trauma as the villain. Theres nothing wrong with those, I sometimes just want a film thats prince/princess + badguy. Heroes journey.

The last Disney movie (and I'm lumping both Disney and Pixar together) that gave me real feels was Tangled. Do I think Tangled was absolutely perfect? well no, but I was willing to ignore the magical true-loves-tear because I just loved the goofy nature of Rapunzel and Eugene together. It was perfect because its a timeless movie. It will age well.

So Wish unfortunately was a huge disappointment. It didn't so much as follow a classic fairytale recipe as obviously it was a nod to classic Disney films. I appreciated that. I didn't realize how many easter eggs were hidden within it until the movie was done actually and I saw somebody elses review. To a point this actually made me more upset.

I went in focusing on the animation primarily because everybody said it looked like something off of Disney Junior. I actually liked how they pulled the 2d/stylization off of classic films like Sleeping Beauty. People said it made it look dull and the color choices were ugly. I don't think so. I love the Sleeping Beauty style. I thought it looked very nice. The problem is that the characters didn't blend in. It was like Disney was trying to make the characters also 2d but also 3d at the same time and they didn't match. I actually thought the characters looked like they were floating around on a greenscreen rather than physically present within the environment. I understand what they were trying to do, I just think it didn't quite work and it added to the illusion that it was a low-res Disney Junior tv show instead.

I also really liked Asha and Magnificos characters designs. I even liked how the Queen matched the King. At the beginning too I thought the Queen and King had a decent healthy sounding relationship which was nice.

What I didn't like was all the rest of the characters were useless including the goat. I understand peoples complaints about Ashas personality being a quirky girl or being a combination of all the disney princesses combined and I dont think she stayed that way for long. She was a bit goofy at the beginning of the film but then wasnt. The "seven friends"..I was going to go on a long rant but now I don't feel like it anymore. Now that the movies done I understand they were supposed to represent the 7 dwarves but they were supid. None of them had a personality. None of them had enough screen time to even obtain a personality. I never would have known they were the seven dwarves until I saw somebody elses review, with the exception of the one guy "thats why they call me grumpy". That one made me do a double take, like I guess he's got a similar color scheme. They should have just been nixed. All of them were useless. The scene where they used teamwork to pull on the ropes to release the dreams. You could have given more screen time to the goat and just had him do it by himself. The movie was too crowded. The song of friendship at the end...don't even get me started. It was so stupid.

That poor goat. They were trying to use him as another animal companion silly pal but even he didn't have that much screen time to even justify his silly voice. His one liners also didn't mesh with the tone of the film. He was pushed to the side but all these other useless characters.

My biggest beef was, I didn't think the king was that bad enough of a villain to be a villain and I think he actually had a point to an extent. The monkeys paw affect. The king literally has a utopia going where everybody lives a nice life, he just offers every once in a while to grant your wish. If its too vague or dangerous he wont do it. The catch is you forget what your wish was and you carry on with your life. Asha is mad nobody gets their wishes back. In particular she's mad her 100 year old grandfather whos wish was "to inspire the young people", his wish was too vague so it couldnt be granted. So she decides to break in and release everybodies wishes and give them back. My qualm is I guess is that theres a song about "be your own star" you don't need anybody else. And technically grandpas wish came true anyway. He did technically inspire the youth, infact they formed a rebellion and overthrew the country. So if you can still accomplish your dreams, why are you overthrowing the country? It infact was actually a dangerous vague wish because the country was overthrown and yall are all happy about this. I mean I do get it but it just didn't feel like it was enough to form a movie about it. It wasn't enough to tip the villain over the edge to be the villain.

My one question is, how old is King Magnifico? if him and his wife created the country and they do a wish ceremony when kids turn 18..are they immortal? has grandpa been waiting for his wish since he was 18? or is the country like 10 years old? What I would have done (even though I'm not a story writer at all), what if Magnifico had been eating the wishes to keep himself young forever (I guess kinda like mother gothel) cause then I'd be a little mad if he wasn't giving wishes back. I think that'd be a little more understandable.

and then quickly, I cant remember any of the songs. The songs I do vaguely remember did have a very similar Encanto/hamilton vibe to them. Particularly the intro Welcome to Rosas song...I understand it was a different writer for this film but Im just not a fan of that style of music. Just the fact that I can't remember any of the tunes anyway...its just kinda..meh...

anyway, I could rant more but this is already too long and it may be full of mispellings but Im not going back to read what I just wrote. Ha.

[simkjrs]

Would you be willing to do Uchiha Kaeru for the ask meme?

uchiha kaeru from the scorpion and the frog by @zarinthelwrites :)

favorite thing about them

i love how she makes things worse on purpose. and i love her sense of humor. its so inspiring how she was dedicated to making things hurt more for everyone involved, at everyone's expense. girlboss of all time

least favorite thing about them

the most frustrating aspect of kaeru's character is probably that she had the ability to change things, but wasn't interested in doing so, and didn't try. as the reader you constantly are wishing that kaeru would let go of her belief that there is no point in changing "canon" because the cycle will continue, no matter what... but it is also a really excellent part of her character that makes you think again about what kind of lasting change kaeru could have made, if she tried. could she have stopped the deaths of her clan? what about the oncoming wars? and what of the fighting that would continue even after naruto swore he would change everything?

having knowledge of canon events, kaeru knows that naruto & sasuke & everyone else will fall into the exact same cycle that they swore to change. kaeru doesn't change because the world around her doesn't change. she doesn't see a point. she has the people she cares about, and fuck the rest, really. she's a great distorted mirror of the naruto world i think, so even though her refusal to change is her most frustrating aspect i also think its one of her most interesting traits. queen

favorite line

it's so hard to pick one. she had the best one liners ever and they came practically every other paragraph. i am paralyzed by choice.

favorite one liner:

"I'm just tired. I'm done fighting people, Kaeru. I sacrificed my own life to avoid causing more harm."

"I died to cause someone a ton of harm, so at least I'm going to be continuing that trend."

favorite serious moment:

"You know, Naruto," Kaeru says. "I don't have any faith in you."

"What?"

"I don't believe you can save Konoha, or change the world, or even forge a lasting peace that isn't built on blood and rot."

"I--"

"Shh, I'm still talking. I hate the world that I grew up in, and I'm going to hate the world that you grow old in, and I'm going to hate the world that still exists long after you've joined me and Nagato in the ground. But, despite all of that, I am going to go, right now, and have Kabuto release every corpse in this war that he still controls."

Kaeru smiles at him, body dissolving into slowly falling white feathers as she continues to talk.

"You're a good kid, Naruto. So, just this once, I'll act like that's going to be enough."

brOTP

kaeru & tatsuma & maruten :) the way that they are best friends despite being a missing-nin, a ROOT agent, and a t&i agent respectively is literally the funniest thing in the world. i love how they all play off of each other and how they are all ride and die. probably one of the saddest things in this story is that we dont get to see more of them being the funniest friends around

OTP

hmm well we are venturing very far into the realm of head canons about someone else's OC now. i think kaeru likes women but also is not interested in a relationship like at all. but she would find it funny if someone flirted with her probably

nOTP

kaeru x a serious romantic relationship. shes happy being dying & dead. she doesnt want one

random headcanon

i think that when orochimaru left akatsuki it was because kaeru kept driving him to tears by virtue of her insufferable personality. and i think it really hurt orochimarus feelings that kaeru thought his attempts to experiment on & kill her were funny and amusing more than anything else. he wanted to be taken seriously but he just couldnt get any dignity from her. itachi chased him out of akatsuki on purpose but kaeru wouldve been perfectly happy letting him stay in the same space as her so she could keep poking him forever. he just could not take it anymore

unpopular opinion

is there such a thing as an unpopular opinion about kaeru? i think people who are mad that kaeru didnt go on a power trip with all of her cool abilities are just haters with no understanding of how much funnier it is that she couldve done something but didnt. "you wouldn't get it" -- me to all the SV commenters who do this

song i associate with them

trigger finger by coyote kid - the kaeru & sasuke song of all time

You've got a steady hand that's cold to the touch You've only got one shot but do you have the guts To make it count. Don't let me down

You've got guts kid but Is that enough to turn this around

favorite picture of them

using my own drawing for this.

[lilolilyr]

One liner prompt: 10 with andromaquynh :)

Hi! It's taken me ages to get to this, but now I actually really like how it turned out, I hope you'll like it as well!

on ao3 here! 1k, T, no warnings

one liner prompts | & there are more prompt ideas if you search my blog for 'prompt list' :)

Fluff & humor ahead!

"Hm, we haven't sparred in a while, my love," Quỳnh notes, wrapping her arms around Andromache from behind as she is drinking her coffee, looking out of the kitchen window. "Not since you stopped bleeding, in fact..."

Quỳnh always calls it that, the time where Andy was bleeding, the time she wasn't healing properly, never the time she was mortal. She doesn't believe - doesn't want to, can't perhaps believe that Andromache had ever really been in danger of dying. And maybe she is right, who knows? Fact is, Andy got worse, but then she got better.

"You want to fight me now that you don't have to pretend like you aren't going easy on me anymore?" Andy asks, putting her empty cup down on the windowsill and turning around in Quỳnh's arms. "Want to see whether you can win?"

"I never went easy on you, Quỳnh sniffs disdainfully. "We just didn't fight to death or losing consciousness, and that tends to end in a stalemate."

"Truth," Andromache laughs. "So, you want to spar?"

"Hmm," Quỳnh practically purrs, leaning in closet to peck Andromache on the lips. "We also haven't fought with blades in... Even longer than that."

She hadn't dared fight Andy with any weapons when they had thought that any wrong move could mean her demise.

"Swords or knifes?" Andy asks her, absent-mindedly playing with the hem of Quỳnh's shirt. She had touched Quỳnh and been touched by her a lot since Quỳnh came back, even more since they talked about how they still love each other after all this time, how Andromache never forgot Quỳnh even when she had to turn her back to the search to live herself, and how Quỳnh forgave her for it, if she ever really blamed her at all…

And then, they touched each other even more once Andromache’s immortality had returned, more forcefully and less afraid, touching each other everywhere at any time, but she never grows tired of the other woman's skin and warmth. Still, right now Quỳnh has other plans for them, so Andy slides her hands further down to hook her fingers in the belt loops of Quỳnh's tailored dark trousers to hopefully get less distracted by her skin.

"You have swords here?" Quỳnh asks, surprised, "I thought they were all in the house the others are staying in, that we'd have to revert to kitchen knives while we are staying here."

"While Nicky isn't here to tell us not to, you mean?" Andy laughs. Back in the old times, when it had just been her and Quỳnh, when they had been travelling with one, maybe two blades on a person, each had been used for whatever purpose they had currently needed a knife or weapon for. She wouldn't mind doing the same now, but she has to admit that it has some perks to have different categories of blades – she definitely likes not having to worry about the steak knife having grown dull from fencing anymore.

"No, I have weapons here. Did you really think I'd keep them all in one place?" Andy adds with a grin. "Most of the old European ones are in that safehouse, but I have my own collection. Want to see?"

"Sure!" Quỳnh squeezes her waist another time before she takes a step back. "Lead the way, my love.”

Andromache feels a little giddy with anticipation now. She knows that Nile showed Quỳnh a number of movies already, but she hadn't always been there to see which ones exactly they'd viewed, so she isn't sure whether she'll get the reference - but she thinks Quỳnh will enjoy the sight of her weapons arsenal either way.

"In here."

Quỳnh looks a little surprised when they enter the small room holding cleaning supplies and a few old pairs of shoes, but definitely no weapons. She raises an eyebrow but doesn't comment.

Andy turns back, giving her a grin - and then she turns and pushes the knob a broom is hanging on, and a part of the wall swings inside, giving way to a hidden room with cupboards showcasing several handguns, three rifles, a number of knives, daggers and swords as well as two recurve bows and corresponding arrows.

Quỳnh gapes.

"I’m a bit surprised you didn't already stumble upon this, really," Andromache tells her with a cheeky grin.

Quỳnh pokes her in the ribs, then steps past her to look at the weaponry. There is a switch at the bottom of the hidden room, and when she steps on it, the cupboards light up, the blades gleaming brightly.

"Very James Bond," Quỳnh murmurs appreciatively, and Andromache beams.

"I wasn't sure whether you watched those already."

"Nile showed me some of the new one, says she doesn't like the old ones much," Quỳnh replies distractedly, already stroking over the different daggers and knives.

She saw the bows, too, of course, and it makes her feel all warm and fuzzy to know that Andy kept a weapon like this when it was never her own favourite... But right now, she is looking for something with a bit of a shorter range to fight with Andromache.

"I don't even know whether I've seen the newest films yet, they've made them for decades now," Andy replies, stepping next to her to choose her own blade, picking from a selection of shorter double-sided swords.

Quỳnh smiles at her. "We'll have to see whether there are any that both of us haven't seen yet, and watch one together." She tilts her head and grins. "If you're Bond, does that make me Moneypenny?"

Andy furrows her brows. "Why on earth would you say that?"

Surprised by that reaction, Quỳnh takes the knives she has chosen and steps away from the assorted weaponry. "Why wouldn't I? She's cool, and she shoots at long distance more often. Do you think I need myself to be the main character? Oh, my Anh, you know that I love you to be the main character of my life!"

Instead of either blushing or calling her out on the overload of kitsch, Andromache just blinks.

"I think... that we watched some very different movies. And that I'd prefer watching one of those new ones with you to ever showing you the old ones… or admitting that I built this room inspired by the misogynistic shitshow these films were.”

Quỳnh tilts her head again, then she laughs. "Maybe for the best, if you were so offended on my behalf for calling myself Moneypenny! Now, have you chosen your blades?"

Andromache makes a face, looking down to evaluate Quỳnh's weapons before she goes back to pick her own, biting on her bottom lip. Quỳnh almost chastises her for breaking her own skin when she remembers that it will grow back again now, and she is filled by a warm fuzzy feeling.

Not wanting to focus on it before battle - even if it is just a small training fight in Andromache's spare room - she quickly comments on Andy's indecisiveness instead.

"Can't decide, my love? No wonder, with that selection... Is it even legal to own this many, all under just one of your legal identities?"

Andy grins at her, finally picking a dagger and a sword for herself before she takes a step back as well. "Honestly? I've lost track of all those little laws and regulations ages ago, but no-one's ever come looking to check or count. And if they do...”

Theatrically pulling on a lever, she makes the entire wall swing back around, leaving nothing but the storage room with cleaning supplies visible.

Quỳnh has to laugh.

"How very true, my Anh! Now-" she brandishes her knifes in an attacking stance - "I believe I was promised a fight?"

"And you shall get one!"

~

If you liked it, do please Let me know - and reblog to help share! <3

[faltering-not-fading]

Wraith (grey kit kat) started pissing what looked like straight blood on Wednesday, got her into an emergency slot Thursday morning, lil snot refused to pee there so they had to sedate her and draw urine manually to test (direct quote from the vet "the syringe was red, it was a lot of blood in there"). Given a teensy amount of white blood cells and a lot of not-quite-actually-problematic urinary crystals in what they pulled we are tentatively hoping UTI and she's on antibiotics for a couple of weeks, a shiny new prescription food, and run-don't-walk instructions if it doesn't actually clear up or gets worse.

Just the gas to get there & back once was $100, total bill was just over $200, and including second trip costs that's like... 20 40lb bags of dog food. Or 16 4lb bags of Wraith's permanent prescription food. Either way, money I don't have! This is also topped off by a human medical emergency that I am trying to ignore the fuck out of, which is that I am apparently allergic to the lining of my only pair of shoes. Even if y'all can't help me cover the vet costs, benadryl is now in the "dire needs" category until I can get new boots, pics & more on that under the cut because it does not look very nice.

If you can pitch even a dollar or two, my paypal is blackphoenixfabrications@gmail.com and my cashapp tag is $BPFabrications

ok so the boots situation. I thought it was this: wear boots > pull tabs rub legs raw > itches because idk scabbing? healing?? w/e and also very swollen because gaping sores being rubbed constantly > cover pull tabs w/ duct tape > day one: oh hey it doesn't hurt anymore when I move my feet but it still itches a bit ❤️ > day two: holy mother of fuck please remove my skin this isn't right where's the benadryl I am clearly having An Reaction to the tape adhesive

What actually happened was this: wear boots > minor chafing from pull tabs > edges of friction burn are in contact with the boot liner > only those edges start to form tiny blisters and pop because of the rubbing only to blister again and pop again for like... a week > itching and swelling isolated to the sores & a few inches above & below steadily worsens > finally look up how to make my boots not do the thing > borrow duct tape from neighbor, apply to boots > day one: rubbing pain stops, itches still > day two: whomst the f u c k filled my boots with fire ants benadryl, swelling and redness to mid-thigh, where is the benadryl > a few hours later, no more itching > *record scratch* "wait a fucking minute there was itching before I applied the tape and even that is gone" > day three can't not wear shoes, popping benadryl like candy, swelling and seed blisters to mid thigh, thisisfine.jpeg

day one-

day two-

day three, with popping two or three benadryl every few hours

day four/today, 17 hours and an ungodly amount of benadryl after taking off boots, please compare to day one and note that even with the pink/redness it's considerably lighter here and I am full of dumb 👍

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - "New Gods on the Block!"

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Megan Gonzalez, Christian Magalhaes, Ben Siemon, Bob Snow

Written by: Megan Gonzalez

Storyboard by: Sam King, Kathryn Marusik, Stephan Park

Directed by: Jason Zurek

Does this episode have the right stuff?

Scrooge and company have reached the Helmet of Hengis Khan, which is currently being guarded by a bunch of giant silkworms! Just take my word for it. However, Scrooge is ready, and knows that his nephews and honorary niece are up to the task to take on those mere worms. He's got Huey, the planner, Dewey and Webby are good as the distraction, and Louie is just good at doing something greedy like snatching the helmet while the silkworms are distracted. They lock hands together, a universal showing that they are an inseparable team, and Dewey does one of his classic one-liners to start this amazing fight scene.

In fact, the fight scene was so amazing, it just couldn't be animated.

Instead, we suddenly cut to the kids walking through the door of the Manor, where we learn that the fight scene would have amazing for the silkworms rather than the Ducks, as they have apparently failed. Outside of a few lines suggesting that Huey's inability to predict the unpredictable was a major factor in it, they don't go much further than the mission was a failure. They didn't seem to get any battle damage from them at the very least. I'm obviously not expecting blood, but I would think their hair would be a little messed up.

While Della couldn't predict that this mission would be a failure, as she had confetti cannons and a giant banner ready for what she assumed would be their triumphant return, she does tells her kids exactly what happens when Scrooge fails, something she should know from participating in countless adventures with him. First comes the wallowing, then the anger, then he just shakes it off and comes up with a new plan. Webby decides to add to that; each failure is just a reason for the team to grow. Scrooge tells Webby that is a great idea: he should grow the team by getting better, more experienced people to join it!

In other words, after trusting Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Webby ever since they proved themselves in the first episode, this one failed mission that didn't even get a scratch on their clothing gives Scrooge a reason to abandon them for a different team. On one hand, a team of non-children would be better for Scrooge's PR, but on the other hand, this just feels like an overreaction to make this plot work. Della seems to agree; she tells the kids that they would be able to handle whatever is going to barge through that door. No, she did not put it that way, but she may as well have.

In comes Zeus, Selene, and Storkules, a trio of gods from the Greek pantheon. The moon goddess Selene and the demi-god Storkules have successful taken the now former god of lightning/king of the gods Zeus's godly wreath, and now he's merely just a powerless jerk rather than a jerk that can smite people. As Selene says, he hasn't done anything good since locking up the Titans, a reference to the original myths, so it was coming to him.

Why are they here? Because they now need a god who can take his place in the Olympus pantheon, and they each have their own idea that happens to currently be in the Mansion. Storkules thinks it should be Donald, Selene thinks it should be Della, and Zeus thinks it should be himself. I can't help but think Storkules and Selene are not even trying to hide who their true loves are among the mortals. Nobody tell Penny.

As the children mope about how the gods surely wouldn't choose them if even Scrooge couldn't, Della decides to reject it and say her kids and kids' friend deserve it instead. What Della would do if she had the powers of Olympus will forever remain a mystery. Selene is convinced because, while they're children, they're still less immature than her father, who still threatens to smite people with lightning despite not having any powers anymore. I still like this slightly more accurate to the original myths version of Zeus.

As the children mope about how the gods surely wouldn't choose them if even Scrooge couldn't, Della decides to reject it and say her kids and kids' friend deserve it instead. What Della would do if she had the powers of Olympus will forever remain a mystery. Selene is convinced because, while they're children, they're still less immature than her father, who still threatens to smite people with lightning despite not having any powers anymore. I still like this slightly more accurate to the original myths version of Zeus.

Storkules wasn't there to see this plan change, as his candidate for godhood was still in the houseboat preparing his houseboat. After Donald takes out the garbage, Storkules bursts through the door and gives his friend of friends the biggest hug, and is impressed that he even prepared a celebratory feast as if he knew what Storkules was about to offer him.

Much like Della, what Donald would do if she had the powers of Olympus will forever remain a mystery, because he's got bigger plans on this day. That celebratory feast was actually him preparing for a big date with the only person who can stand his singing.

Don't worry, Storkules takes his friend of friends going on a date with someone else very well. Maybe a bit too well, and it's not just to Donald's chagrin, as he decides to do a labor worthy of being among the twelve he did that one time: make the perfect wedding feast! Anyone who knows this character will know where this is going.

It's also pretty predictable where the other half of the episode is going, even if I did think at least one of them would have done better than the others. Selene decides to give Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Webby each a chance to prove their worth on being in the pantheon. They each decide on an ability similar to the ones in the myths, they get a little test run at a random location, and, if they fail, Selene can just clap or snap her fingers and everything reverts back to normal. Even if she didn't reveal the last one, it would be just too good this early on if we had any victors here.

Louie wants to be the God of Fortune, so he gets the Louie Touch, which he instantly trademarks despite being a clear knockoff of a certain king's. This is most likely because he never really heard of the tales of King Midas's golden touch, as he ends up turning the entire park he was put in into gold. This includes a dog. Not a dog-person, a dog much like in real life.

Huey wants to be the God of Intuition, so he gets the power of prophecy, similar to Cassandra minus the "nobody believing him" problem. In fact, he has the opposite problem; Huey doesn't seem to catch the hint that telling the misfortunes that are going to happen to people aren't going to make people happy. It doesn't help that his powers are causing his brain to expand.

Webby wants to be the Goddess of Friendship Sunshine Get-A-Long Time, so she ends up being able to control the weather. Oddly enough, controlling the weather was one of Zeus's specialties in the original myths, so this should give her the biggest chance out of all of them since this is supposed to be "who is going to replace Zeus." Unfortunately, just giving the boardwalk a sunny day and getting Glomgold off of a kiddie ride he had been hogging doesn't cause everyone to hug, so she ends up striking everything with lightning in the end. With Webby becoming mad with power in the span of a minute, I don't wonder how Zeus ended up the way he did.

Dewey apparently wants to be the God of Dance, and tries to woo the judge with a dance. Even if he didn't manage to torment a random location to the point where it would have to be reversed by a moon goddess's snap, the lack of any god powers disqualifies him as well. I know it can barely be seen in that screenshot, but that reaction from Selene makes this whole scene even funnier.

It's not like these abilities aren't fitting, but it's such a foregone conclusion that they were going to fail these tests spectacularly that it just felt predictable.

While these trials are happening, Zeus decides to call up one of his more notorious brothers: Hades, god of the underworld. Despite only showing up as an unknown number, which would make sense even if Zeus was calling from a cell phone of his own rather than Scrooge's house phone, he picks up to hear the voice of the guy that trapped him in a world surrounded by bones. He's not too happy about his situation, needless to say.

Following in the footsteps of not following the Disney version of the Greek pantheon besides Hercules being treated as a 100% god, Hades is more like a goth who doesn't really care about anything. He doesn't go with Zeus's idea of causing an undead rebellion, reminding Zeus that he's too busy keeping the Titans locked up, which gives Zeus a different idea. Hades won't be involved with this idea, as, other than revealing that one of the few things that delights him now is Zeus being powerless, he decides not to do anything else. Despite this, it's neat to see this amount of world-building with the pantheon, and it makes me wonder if we'll see him again.

Being failures at being Scrooge's teammates and Greek gods, we get another mope scene. Scrooge actually calls this his "special ops" team, which makes me think that Scrooge actually wanted a different team for different situations, and it seems like they're hinting at an ending that would cast Scrooge in a better light: he was just planning a B team. Such a shame that doesn't really come up anywhere else.

I think the other plot is better, with Hercules acting like the unwanted friend getting in the way of Donald and Daisy's date, and it eventually falls apart. Even with Storkules in the background holding a tied up Cupid, a part of one of his earlier plans, one can really feel Donald's pain as he floats in a garbage-filled pool. This feeling of pain is even shown in-universe, as the normally oblivious Storkules decides to get some help.

Sadly, he goes to his father, Zeus, completely devastated that he had forsaken his best friend, and asks what he could do to help out two people in love. Zeus tells a story about how Hera fell in love with him after he defeated the titans, and that if Storkules can defeat one of them, maybe they'll be impressed. He laments that it's too bad there's no god with god-like strength that can unleash one of them.

To make a long story short, Storkules hits the ground, a titan comes out, Scrooge and the rest come out to see this madness, and the titans ends up eating Donald right in front of Daisy's eyes. I love this line that reveals, among other things, that Donald is still okay:

Storkules: (keeping the titan from eating Daisy) Don't worry, we can salvage this!

Daisy: You killed my boyfriend!

Donald: "My boyfriend"? (reveals to be in the Titans see-through stomach, still indigested) Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

It reminds me of that scene in Coco. I can't spoil it, but there's a similar line there that also made me smile.

Della and Scrooge are climbing up the titan, Shadow of the Colossus style, where they talk about the other plot. This is their way to get the plots to converge, and it’s a good idea. In fact, while this goes against the idea that Scrooge was merely trying to expand his team rather than remove his kin from it, Scrooge getting confronted with his negligence while trying to deal with an even bigger problem is a pretty powerful moment.

The stakes are set pretty high, as the titan manages to turn pretty much everyone except for Daisy and the kids into dinner. Even Selene, the one that could reverse problems with the snap of her finger and the character that was pretty much treated as the Queen of the Gods until now, as Hera is only mentioned, manages to get caught in the titan's grasp, dropping the godly crown on the ground as she joins the rest of the party in this titan's stomach. Considering all of this eating of his fellow gods and mortals, maybe this titan is meant to be Cronus. He even manages to do what Cronus wanted to do in the original myths.

Whether or not that generic titan is Cronus or not, that victory doesn't last too long, as we get this really cool scene where Daisy manages to startle the titan with her own roar, and, using that as a distraction, Webby takes the crown, splits it up, and gives herself and her friends the god powers they wanted. While I wasn't that much of a fan of this plot, I can safely say it ends really well. Not only does Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Webby prove themselves as helpers of Scrooge, but kids worthy of have the powers of Greek myth. The latter doesn't last, of course, but still, it's great.

In the end, everything seems to work out just fine, and I really do mean everything, as the other plot also ends very well. While I don't want to ruin the moment, I'll say this: I find it very funny that Zeus ended up helping with Storkules' problem in the end, even if it wasn't his intention.

How does it stack up?

At first, I was a little miffed on this episode; I just don't think Scrooge would just throw away his team just because they failed miserably on one mission, especially in an episode after he trusted them so much, and especially after the episode after the one where he outright recruited one of them to go through his deadly danger dungeon. However, this episode has plenty of ways for me to forgive that: the scenes with Donald and Daisy, the cool god powers in the end, and Zeus being Zeus all throughout.

Still, this ended up being just merely in the middle for me.

Next, we get to see an Scrooge adventure with young Della for the first time outside of the IDW comics!

← The Split Sword of Swanstantine! 🦆 The First Adventure! →

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Forty-Two

Table of Content or Part Forty-One

Read here on Wattpad

Words: 3.6k

Warning(s): Explicit language, explicit sexual situations, miscarriage

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I had miscarried a week before the four month mark, and despite the large amount of stress I was under, I was told my body showed signs of preparing to discard the pregnancy, anyway, and it was estimated there hadn't been a heartbeat for almost a week prior.

I planned on telling Nikki before my stomach grew to an obvious size, but I managed to keep it under the radar and it just looked like I was gaining some weight.

Andy had taken me, in and out at consciousness, to the hospital after Nikki's blue color started to miraculously subside and he decided it was better to keep the freshly overdosed heroin junkie away from anyone who could notify authorities.

A D&C was performed, I was given hospital-issued pajama pants since I wasnt wearing any, told not to use tampons, insert anything into my vagina or have sex for two weeks, and I was sent on my way.

"I-I heard the nurse say something about a failed pregnancy." Andy tells me, hesitantly, as we head back to the apartment to see if Nikki's still there.

"They thought it might have been one, but I told them I wasn't pregnant and they decided it was a serious spell of period cramping." I reply.

"You don't fucking pass out from a period cramp, Vivian."

"I passed out because I was in shock from Nikki being blue." I argue.

"That was a lot of blood to be--"

"Andy, until you have a uterus that sheds once a month, you don't get to make the rules as to what's a normal amount of period blood and what isn't." I cut him short and he sighs out.

"Got it, Viv."

When we get back to the apartment, it's empty.

The Rat is gone, and Nikki's gone.

"Do you think he's back at the hotel?" Andy asks me and I pray in my mind he is.

"Maybe he is." I tell him.

I have to give it to Andy, he managed to get Nikki breathing again while simultaneously trying to get me to regain consciousness...all while on heroin himself.

Vince killed his drummer, and he still saved Vince's bassist.

I get back to the hotel, Doc interrogating the front desk, demanding to know where I went and if she's seen me recently.

"Doc, chill out." I tell him, rubbing my eyes and he sees me and relief washes over him.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" He shouts at me. "I was about to call the cops, Vivian!"

"I know, I'm sorry, I just had to go to the doctor for lady issues." I tell him and he looks at me like I've lost my mind, looks at Andy and throws his hands up.

"All you kids are fucking impossible, holy shit!" He calls out, stepping to the elevator.

I turn to Andy, smiling tiredly up at him.

"Thank you for helping Nikki." I tell him.

"I'd do it ten times over, Viv." He replies.

I try my hardest to memorize him, snapping a mental picture of his soft smile, his liner smudged eyes, his clothes...preparing for this being the last time I ever see him, because at the rate he's going, he'll be dead in a couple years.

Tears blur my vision, but never break over my lashes, and I hug him to me.

"Take care of yourself." I tell him calmly. "Please."

"Oh, I'll be fine." He replies, squeezing me back.

When we pull away, his hands hold at either side of my face.

"Keep your head clear." He tells me one last time and I nod.

To this day I still hear him in my mind when I'm overwhelmed.

"Keep your head clear."

I get up to the room to pack, thinking of what the hell to say to Nikki.

He's getting out of the shower when I get in, bruises covering him from where he was hit with the bat, and his chest is bruised from CPR.

I decide not to say anything, ignoring him when he tries to talk to me.

"Baby." He states, realizing I'm purposely ignoring him.

I just fold my dirty clothes up and put them in my bag.

"Vivian." He tries again. "I really don't need you to be pissed at me about this, Viv."

Again, I don't say a word.

I try to head to the bathroom before he's grabbing at my arm, stopping me.

"I over did it, I know I did. I'm sorry, alright? Just please talk to me."

"I'm going back home." I tell him and he looks shocked before his face suddenly scrunches up.

"What?"

"I am going back to L.A." I repeat.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not hanging around to see you pick up where you left off before you nearly died, Nikki, and I know that the second we get to the next city, you'll be pinpointing a dealer as soon as possible." I state.

"I--Viv, I made a mistake, I understand that I made a bad call." He tries to reason with me before snatching my shirt out of my hand before I can pack it. "Will you listen to me?"

"Why? You never listen to me." I hiss at him and his eyes glass over in tears.

Instead of yelling at me, or arguing, he puts my shirt in my bag for me, and helps me pack the rest of my stuff before he gets dressed and gets his own stuff together. "I just want to go home." I finally tell him, feeling a little guilty for being mean to him after what happened to him.

"I know." He says lowly, sitting next to me on the bed. "I just don't want you to."

"I'll only be a phone call away, and the tour will be over in less than a month and you'll be back in no time." I point out.

"Yeah, I guess." He replies.

"Just, please, be careful." I plead, grabbing his hand.

He looks at me and nods a little.

"I will, Viv. I promise." He assures me.

It was bullshit. Two days after that, he was hanging out with Tommy, Rodger Taylor and Robin Zander, at dinner and when lines of power rails of coke were offered to them, Nikki snorted all of it on his own.

But I wasn't worried about Nikki. I prayed for him before I left London and that was that.

I bombard Steven when I see him by Duff's car in the parking lot, wrapping my arms around him tightly, nearly crying tears of joy.

"Have you gotten taller?" I tease, ruffling his fluffy blonde hair.

"Nah, maybe you're getting shorter." He replies as I put my bag in the trunk.

"Short-stop." I shoot at him.

"Firecrotch." He replies without missing a beat and I can't help but laugh.

"You've been hanging around Izzy too much." I point out, getting into the car.

When we get to their apartment, I set my bag on floor by the door and look around at the shithole it is.

"The guys are out, I'm about to go see if I can find 'em if you wanna come." Stevie offers.

I shake my head a little, already knowing how I want to spend my night.

"No, thank you, just wanna shower and get settled." I explain, and he nods.

"You're gonna have to air dry because we don't have towels, and we don't have hot water." He adds. "Also, pee in the shower if you gotta pee because we don't have a toilet anymore."

"What about if I need to do the other?" I ask him and he rubs his lips together.

"We usually just do that in our friend's apartment down the hall. Apartment 205." He informs me and I raise my brows but don't say a word.

"Got it." I reply.

"Alright, well, I'm out." He tells me.

"Okay, see you later tonight." I reply, shutting the door behind him.

I turn to face the mess that is their apartment and I take a breath and get started.

I'm just getting out of the shower by the time I hear the front door open and close, and I hold my arms over my chest and peak my head out of the bathroom, seeing Duff's lanky frame in the kitchen, the only light is from the small lamp on the floor in the living room.

"Hey." I tell him, and he turns around, brows raised.

"Oh, shit, hey." He chuckles off his startledness. "Are you done with your shower?" He asks and I nod.

He's stepping to me, his hand holding out a cheap towel.

"Steven said you were crashing here tonight so I went and got some things...I knew you'd appreciate a towel." He tells me and I chuckle, grateful for his consideration as I step back into the bathroom to wrap up in the towel and step back out to my bag to get pajamas. "I got some shitty sheets for that mattress." He motions to the one bedroom. "And a blanket because we don't have any."

"How do you guys stay warm then?" I ask and he shrugs.

"We usually go home with girls who have blankets." He chuckles and I shake my head a little. "At least they do. Anymore I come back and crash here." He adds. "Also, thank you for cleaning." He notices the much more organized and clean apartment I'd been working on ever since Steven left three hours ago. "Which brings me to my last purchase I know you would need." He puts a can of disinfectant spray on the counter next to the blanket and sheets and I can't hold back to laugh that comes when I see it. "I suggest using the whole can."

"I'm planning on it don't worry." I chuckle as he takes can of spray and the sheets into the bedroom.

I'm assuming to spray down the mattress and put the sheets on.

I dry off and towel dry my hair before slipping on a pair of pajama shorts and a Crüe band tshirt.

Once I'm done in the bathroom, I see Duff sitting on the couch with his bass and I sit beside him as he goofs off with it for a couple minutes before I point to a note his finger is on.

"What's that?" I ask him, curiously.

"J." He tells me and I furrow my brows a little.

"There's a 'J' note on bass?" I ask and he nods, his expression serious for a moment before he cracks into a smile. "Duff, I'm serious." I push at his shoulder lightly and he chuckles.

"I don't know what note it is." He tells me.

"Bullcrap." I state.

"I'm being serious. I don't know a single name of any of the notes."

"You play by ear?!"

"Yep."

"Why?!"

"I just wanted to play bass. I didn't want to learn it step by step. It's obviously working out for me the way I do it now, so." He shrugs. "Is that not what Nikki does?"

"Yeah...but he's Nikki I don't expect him to know all of it. He sticks to the same template of decently easy notes in every song anyway because he's too fucked up to remember anything elaborate." I tell him and he chokes a little, looking at me.

"That's mean." He points at me.

I think about it for a second and sigh out.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just tired and moody I guess." I mumble, running a hand through my hair.

"Do you need to go to bed?" He asks me.

"Probably." I admit, seeing it's 1:17am on their crooked wall clock, standing up and stretching.

I look towards the bedroom, then to Duff and back to the bedroom before sitting back down.

"What is it?" He asks me.

"I'll just chill here with you for a few more minutes." I tell him.

"Okay."

I lay down, my legs curling to my chest as the top of my head brushes against the side of his thigh, my eyes closing.

I'm probably asleep for another hour before I'm being woken up.

"Viv." Duff slowly shakes me awake and I groan a little, blinking up at him.

"C'mon, I'm helping you to bed." He tells me and I nod sleepily, taking his hands as he helps me up.

I'm half asleep when I fall to the matress on the floor and he chuckles at me grabbing the blanket to cover me up.

"You good?" He asks me after covering me up and I nod. "Okay, I'm crashing on the couch if you need anything."

"Sleep in here." I tell him, rubbing the sleep from my eyes in an attempt to wake myself up a little.

It's obvious he's thinking really hard about the invitation.

"Please?" I ask. "I don't like sleeping alone."

He thinks about it for a moment longer before getting his boots off, laying down beside me as far away as possible, not even taking his jacket off.

"Goodnight, Viv." He says.

"Goodnight." I barely mumble back.

This is where the very strict "friends" line that separated Duff and I began to slowly blur, and I despised myself for it.

I'm tired, but I can't bring myself to sleep, turning to face Duff.

I wonder if he's asleep.

"Duff?" I whisper.

"Hmm?" He replies.

He's laying on his back with an arm tucked behind his head, the other across his abdomen.

I think about how he kissed me, and how did it like he meant it, openly and honestly, and I freaked out over it.

And why?

Because of Nikki?

I remember the reminiscent feeling I got with Duff, when he made his drunk move, mirrored how I felt when Nikki first made his five years ago.

My eyes go back to the blonde beside me, the temptation to either scare him away or draw him in more is pulling at me strong.

"Take your jacket off." I say to him lowly and he looks at me in the dark of the room, the only sliver of light coming from the neon glowing lights of the strip.

"Viv." He says it like he knows what I'm thinking he's begging me not to because he couldn't possibly resist.

I sit up getting on my knees, pulling my tshirt over my head and discarding it.

"Shit." He mumbles to himself, sighing out as I crawl to him.

All it takes is my leg swinging over his hips to straddle him and he's caving.

He doesn't dare make a move to touch me, probably trying to decide if this is real or not, until I'm pressing my lips against his, moaning softly as my nipples gently rub against the fabric of his clothes.

My hands grab either side of his unzipped jacket, pulling him up to a sitting position, pushing the leather from him, he discards the jacket across the room and my hands run down his arms to his wrists to guide his hands to my hips as I slowly start rocking against his groin as my forehead rests against his, my breath catching in my throat as pleasure sparks through me.

"Fuck, Viv..." he breaths out, finger tips lightly pressing into the flesh of my hips.

Pull up on the bottom of his shirt, leaning into him when it's off, feeling his skin against mine as our lips meet once more before I'm running my tongue along his bottom lip to give him the hint.

His hands move to my ass, guiding the slow, needy movements of the junction of my thighs against the hardness in his pants.

Our tongues tangle together as he moves one of his hands up to run his thumb against my nipple.

I whimper, the ache in my core growing stronger as he gets comfortable and shifts from being shy and acting like he doesn't know what to do, to complete dominance, pushing me onto my back, my hair hanging off the foot of the bed.

He takes his pants off as I pull at my shorts, rubbing my thighs together, looking up at him as he gives me a happy smile, pressing his lips to my ankle, working his way up inch by inch, worshipping me with each caress, each kiss, each move.

He's running his tongue against my clit, eliciting another moan from me, my back arching as my hands fall into his blonde hair.

When he hits a certain spot, I gasp, my eyes nearly watering.

"Right there, please, Duff." I quietly whine out a beg.

He listens, continuing to move his tongue against me, causing me to resort to shallow breaths as pleasure builds.

One of his hands goes to my breast, rolling my nipple between his fingers, only encouraging me to grind into his face with his slow, savoring, pace.

I'm coming before realizing it, my toes curling, his name catching in my throat as I arch my back.

He looks like he's about to go back for seconds but I'm sitting up and pulling his lips to mine before taking my hand and wrapping it around his prick.

The thought of it inside of me sends me into overdrive and he groans out as I run my thumb over his tip, my thigh hooking around him as my legs spread, wanting him inside of me.

I fall back on the matress taking him with me as our lips stay locked, and both of his hands are on either side of my head as we break our kiss.

"Are you sure about this?" He asks me. "I mean really sure. I don't want to hurt you, Viv, I--"

I cut him short, giving him reassuring kiss before looking up at him again.

He nods, as if convincing himself to disrespect Nikki and our marriage as he jerks himself off a couple of times before placing his head at my entrance.

He slowly pushes himself in, and by the time he's in as far as my body has room for him to be in, he's grasping the blanket we're on, under his hands, obviously trying to keep his control.

"Are you okay?" He asks me, giving me time to adjust to him.

I don't answer, my hands pushing at his sides to get him to pullout of me, and he thinks I want him off of me, nearly moving completely out of me before I'm wrapping my legs around him, causing him to push back into me.

The feeling forces a loud, wanton, nearly pornish sound from me and he realizes I want him to keep going.

He smiles to me, kissing me again while pulling out and thrusting back into me, gently.

"Duff," I start, breathing out.

"Y-Yeah?" He asks, stopping suddenly.

"I'm not gonna break." I tell him with a shy smile as a subtle hint to screw me into the mattress.

He's chuckling a little, loosening up, before thrusting into me a little faster, rougher, and harder.

"Fuck, Duff!" I can't control myself, my nails screaming against the skin of his back as his length moves inside of me addictively.

He repeatedly hits against my tender cervix, and the thought of him finishing inside of me is fucking crazy but nearly primal.

"You feel so fucking good." He tells me, his cigarettes laced breath adding to the comfort of him pulling pressing his body against mine, taking my lower lip between his teeth.

My fingers curl into his blonde hair, my nipples aggressively move against him with his desperate pace.

"I'm gonna come." I tell him, my eyes closing, my lips slightly opened as tremors course through me.

I cry out so loudly he has to put his hand over my mouth incase any of the guys are home.

Tears roll down my face as he picks up the pace, chasing after his high with my legs locked around him.

"I love you." He tells me, his lips brushing against mine.

"I love you, too." I say back, my hand going between my legs to play with my clit to try have another hit before he finishes.

His hand is moving mine out of the way and rubbing at me far better than I can in my love-high state.

More of my juices flood onto him as my brain fills with more endorphins, my eyes heavy with a floating high.

"I'm about to come." He tells me.

"Come in me." I tell him, hazily, not thinking clearly.

"Viv, I--"

"Please, I wanna feel it, Duff. I wanna feel you." I beg, arching into him, pulling his hips into mine with my thighs.

He doesn't argue, cursing out as streams of his cum pump into me.

He doesn't get off of me until he's finished, the both of us laying in silence as nausea forces it's way through me.

I'm sitting up, throwing up, my body sweating and my face soaked with tears.

I realize I'm throwing up on the living room's stained carpet as Duff startles awake from where he fell asleep beside me on the couch.

Izzy's passed out on the floor on the other side of the coffee table and I look at the clock to see it's 5:00am.

"Viv, are you alright?" Duff asks me, but all I hear in the sound of his voice is the terrifying idea that I just dreamt up an entire fantasy about him that seems so unbelievably realistic, that if he weren't still fully dressed, jacket and boots included, I would swear it actually happened.

My heart sinks to my stomach.

I need Nikki.

It was one hell of a foreshadow.

[vlvetbutch]

st4 ramblings

i originally wrote this for my friend immediately after watching st4 while it was still fresh in my head, but i thought it was worth putting out

the first season of stranger things should be given more credit, not just from a pop culture standpoint but from a plot/story standpoint, because the writing was so concise and the episodes were so much shorter, but it was so much more captivating than s4, though episodes have pretty much doubled in length at this point.

the characters felt so much more themselves in s1, and the show had such a clear understanding of who they were, not just on a surface level, but in terms of their motivations and their relationships to one another. it's easy to forget that jonathan and will are even related for the vast majority of s4 whereas in s1 and s2 (to an extent, despite him being physically removed from will for the majority of it), their characters were heavily intertwined, as i think they should be.

that isn't to say the characters have become purely cardboard cutouts and one liners, because with characters like max and will that isnt true. but with steve, robin, erica, etc. i get the feeling that thought isn't being put into who they actually are as people anymore. like with dustin, fine, because his character has always been established as mainly comic relief, and steve too, to an extent, but you get what i mean.... we have just stopped finding out new things about most of the characters at this point. and even the characters who are given development, it's rare that we get to know how they actually feel about what's happening. like el for example. when does she get a chance to process and express how she feels about having her head shaved by brenner again, after her hair has been throughout the entire series a symbol of her reclaiming her identity and femininity? she never gets to have feelings about that for more than fifteen seconds until we are ushered past the reveal of her shaved head into another california scene (as much as i like argyle).

s4's episodes are movie length, and there is so much going on! all the time! too much, even! and still i get the feeling that we don't know enough about what's actually going on internally with the characters anymore. what are they thinking? how are they feeling? i dont care as much about vecna and his origin story as i do about the characters who have been here forever... who are at stake. and growing up. and coming of age and whatever whatever whatever. i know im not adding anything new to the conversation by saying that the characters felt flat this season. but i think part of it is that, by the end of the season, each character feels more like a piece in a board game than a living breathing person with emotions and complex thought. andddddddd who gaf abt 001! i dont!

also. i wish will was still allowed to talk and say words and be a character. send post

[rossl32123]

Broken Clouds, 14°C

7 Pacific Hwy, Mooney Mooney NSW 2083, Australia

Of jobs

So many jobs, so little time. What have I been doing with myself.

Resealing leaking hatches. Of all the jobs taken on this year resealing the forward hatch has taken the most time. It would have helped alot to have known the hatch was bolted down before I started, not screwed. To get access to the nuts you have to take down the ceiling lining, including removing the hand rails, then remove the hatch lining. Once it was all apart I sanded back all the woodwork and varnished it with as many coats as I thought I could get away with, then put it all back together with at least half a tube if sikaflex. I think it still leaks!

The sail locker hatch came apart much more easily, there is no ceiling liner in that part of the boat. Much sikaflex, and butyl tape on the bolt heads seems to have got this one done although I still suspect leaks.

I took the foot of the self tackers boom off the deck and rebedded it with butyl tape.

The anchor winch has been dismantled and the lower clutch remachined.

The main anchor chain has been removed from the locker, measured (80m), marked at 10m intervals, and returned to the locker. The bitter end was treated with some anti rust spray.

Both anchor rodes are now all gal shackles and swivels. All shackles have been seized but I might switch to cable ties for that job, particularly as playing with different anchor/chain combinations requires undoing the shackles, which isn't so easy once they have been seized with stainless wire.

Both head sails have been inspected by a sail maker and restitching done where it has flogged out. Toe and head tacks have also been cleaned up.

The sailmaker has also replaced all the clears that were smashed by the hail storm last year, and built me a new mizzen. The old one tore at the leech clew, so I had it repaired, but then it tore again as I was trying to bend it back on. He wasn't so keen to repair it again. The clears need some new studs fitting to the cockpit canopy, which I still have to do. The corrosion in the aluminum frame where the old ones pulled out is quite bad, probably because of the stainless fittings weren't isolated properly.

I fitted a new set of blocks on the self tackers sheet track so that I can control the car from the cockpit. This required jam cleats and guides as well, but I got quite alot of the components second hand so it wasn't too expensive. I came up with this solution after the self tacker flogged the sheet car back and forth along the traveller and blew out the stops and the track end caps, which you can't get anymore for the type of track I have.

More hatch work. The aft cabin hatch wouldn't come apart, even after I took all the head lining down around it. I just could not get the hatch liner to come out, so I though to myself, "How much of this taking to bits regime do I have to force on myself? All the woodwork I had removed I cleaned up and varnished, then I cleaned up the hatch and liner/surround, taped it off and varnished it all in place. Since it didn't seem to leak through the flange, only through one corner of the main seal, and the control gasket, I figured I'd get away with it.

Also, the main cabin has two small hatches, these don't leak either, so I sanded their liners back in situ, and varnished them (3 coats). The big hatch in the main cabin is next, followed by the woodwork at the entry although I've already started this (couldn't help myself). There's also a bit of woodwork under the main sheet traveller which I've started preparing to varnish.

The genoa halyard was replaced, at the same time I ran up a block to the head of the sail so that I could reave a halyard to it for raising the spare genoa onto the same foil for going wing on wing.

I've started work on a solution for preventing halyards from tangling in the mast steps. This will involve climbing both masts at some stage to run light lines up the outside of the steps, then drilling through the steps to fit cable ties (or some such) to hold the line in place.

The steering disconnect control cable has been replaced.

A new topping lift has been installed on the mizzen boom.

The diesel heater has been demystified. After using all the diesel from the header tank last year it's remained empty while I figured out how to top it up again. That required quite a bit of time tracing plumbing and electrical cabling. Eventually I worked out that the "circulation pump" switch on the DC panel also allows the lift pump to top up the tank, provided you open the tap next to the gen set, and pull the switch under the heater. What had me really confused to start with was that I didn't know where the pump was, and the circulation pump is for water through the wet back, so how did the diesel get into the tank? Also, the sight tube was so brown inside that at first I thought it was copper pipe, then once I replaced it I couldn't figure out the tap at the top of the tank. It turned out that the bleed valve you close when you fill the tank so that any overflow goes down the return line, and you open it so as to avoid an airlock when your using the heater. The sight guage is also part of the filling line, which provided another level of confusion, as you can't tell the level in the tank while filling it. You have to turn the pump off and wait for the level to settle. Anyway, it's all good now, really cosy in fact, except that the water circulation doesn't seem to be reaching the heat exchangers fore and aft, but that problem is low on the list.

The saltwater pump for the desk wash down wasn't working too well. I started by replacing the ancient old gross particle filter with a more modern plastic one, but the pump still only runs for about 2 or 3 minutes before petering out. While searching under the rear cabin berth I discovered 2 other pumps in a plastic bag, underneath where the installed pump was. I'm not sure why they were stashed there because they were rubbish, but perhaps they were there to remind me just how long these things last.

I cleaned up alot of mess from under the rear cabin berth, including about half a litre of spilt Dextron. I would like to know where that came from as there were no obvious signs. I also restowed the spare engine parts under there to make room for more personal items in the foot locker, and I worked out a way of rolling the mattress out of the way so that you can get at that area. Previously I had been pulling the mattress off the bed and into the companionway, which was an all around pain. Now I can lift both ends to access a length of webbing which I can use to tie the mattress into a roll.

Rooting around under the stove I discovered that the igniters do have a power source. Ive been using a gas lighter for the last two years. It is only a small AA battery, but it had plenty of life in it so I returned it to its holder and lo, spark ignition!

The chart table chair now slides forward on its track, and locks as designed.

I replaced the broken pin in the track slider that the whisker pole snaps onto with a dowel of hard wood. I've also managed to get a second slider organised, it's pretty rough, but you have to have one if you want to wing on wing the headsails. Now I just need to free up the seized pin in the spare whisker pole, and work out how to get the spare slider onto the mast track.

I took the main compass off the binnacle, thinking that perhaps I'd better inspect and oil the engine control lines. There was a fair bit of corrosion in the compass mount as the screws where stainless through aluminium. I have an idea to replace the whole control panel at some stage. The compass is a bit of an anachronism these days but I'm not sure if I should toss it out. The depth guage is so old it uses vacuum tubes to display the numbers, but it does work. The GPSs screen has burnt out, although the unit still works! The wind indicator panel is fine, although it only gives apparent wind at the moment, however, the wind speed sensor is unreliable. Since it is also an ancient unit (despite being self powered and wireless) you can't get parts for it. When I climb the mast to do the step protector job I'll have to take it down and figure out what I can do with it. I really would like to have a completely wireless system of wind speed and direction, hull speed, depth and sea temp coming through to a couple of guages by the wheel, and also to the computer and any other device that can use the data, like iSailor and OpenCPN.

I was dissappointed with the amount of power the vacuum cleaner gets through. It's almost as bad as the microwave. When you pull 100 amps from the battery bank the voltage drops very quickly, and puts the batteries under stress. Two minutes of vacuuming will do it. I did discover that besides running the battery charger part of the inverter, the gen set will also power all the 120V sockets, when it's running. This was a surprise as I was under the impression that the gen set only recharged the battery bank. Now I know I can run all the 120V equipment on the boat I like, provided I put up with the gen set running.

I have discovered the trick to the 2hp outboard! It has always been a problem for me, so much so the I stopped using it for quite a while. Even after dealing with getting water in the carburettor all the time it still ran unreliably, usually quitting after having only run for 50m. After some considerable time putting up with it, it became apparent that it was fuel starvation. If I tilted the motor up when it was just about to die, it would fire up again for another 5m. Looking into the fuel tank one day I discovered that the inlet pipe sat up off the bottom of the tank by a good 2-3cm. With the angle of the transom on the dinghy, plus the inlet pipe being on the high side of the tank you only have to run the tank down about a third before she starts sucking air. Unfortunately you can't level the motor off as the fitting adjustment as rusted up solid. Never mind, atleast I know now that you just have to keep the tank topped up.

Powered by Journey Diary.

[scatterpatter]

You know what? No. I need to elaborate on this.

STEVEN UNIVERSE SPOILERS- DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT SEEN A SINGLE PALE ROSE YET

Okay so it seems like everyone is saying that Pink Diamond faked her own death to get out of her Diamond responsibilities, but like... I disagree? A lot? Hear me out.

Why would Pink Diamond want to cut out on her responsibilities when it was established on Jungle Moon that she wanted more than anything to be treated as just as important as the other diamonds?

I relate to Pink a ton in that episode. When I was in high school I worked my ass off in theatre- I knew I wasn't the best singer or dancer so I knew I wasn't lead material, but I made sure to learn my lines and songs and always be present at practice, I wanted more than anything to earn myself a minor role in one of our shows. I didn't want to be Circus Performer #3 or Assistant Seamstress or these small characters where I might've gotten a one-liner, I wanted a real part to just prove to them that I could do it... but the directors never gave me that opportunity to prove myself- honestly I was furious- I worked for it and wanted it more than anything, and I know if it was given to me I wouldn't have taken it for granted- so it just appalls me that people think Pink would finally be given what she wanted for so long, a chance to prove she was just as good as Yellow and Blue, and she wouldn't want it anymore? She was given one colony, one planet and its moon, I doubt she was overwhelmed by that- especially when Blue states "You don't even have to do anything- just smile and wave!"

It's no secret Rose loved life on earth and wanted to do whatever it takes to protect it, and I strongly believe that is still true. I believe Pink loved life on earth... so instead of faking her death to get out of her responsibilities, she's faking her death to protect the earth.

And honestly that idea is way more plausible to me than the idea that she just didn't want to be a Diamond anymore. I strongly believe that Pink saw life on earth, didn't want to destroy it, tried to explain to Yellow and Blue that she didn't want to colonize Earth, and the Diamonds misunderstood her motives as just being lazy. Pink wanted to protect life on Earth, Blue mistook it as excuses to skimp on her duties, and I think the fandom is seeing it as that too.

Take what Blue says in Can't Go Back. "First there were too many organics" that shouldn't be an issue at all. Odds are Pink said there was so much life on Earth, saying how many beautiful things there are, but Yellow and Blue took it as 'Too many obstacles'. "Then their cities were too difficult to dismantle!" Again, shouldn't be that big of an issue. Especially since this took place thousands of years ago, it's not like humanity has these amazing complex modern cities. Yet again, I think Pink saw beauty in what they created, and the Diamonds thought she was making excuses. "And now these Crystal Gems?" Keep in mind, Rose Quartz started the Crystal Gems. Pink started the Crystal Gems. It's incredibly likely that Pink thought if she could start a rebellion, she could go to the Diamonds and convince them that Earth had to be left alone. And what does Blue say next? "We're tired of hearing your excuses, Pink." Pink opens her mouth to speak back, Blue silences her before she can get a single word out.

They tell her she doesn't have to do anything, that her worker gems will do the work for her. Pink doesn't want that. Pink doesn't want her colony to be completed. She wants Earth to be protected, she runs out of options. The only way Earth can be protected is if "Pink Diamond" is shattered, then colonization had to stop. That was the only way out she saw.

Frankly, she wanted the protect life on Earth and couldn't convince the other Diamonds that life was worth protecting. In A Single Pale Rose she even says "Blue and Yellow don't care. They never have. This is 'Pink Diamond's Colony'." She isn't saying Yellow and Blue don't care about her, she's saying they don't care about Earth, and that's a huge difference in motive. They don't see Earth the same way Pink does, they never have and they never will. She tried to reason with the Diamonds, but they wouldn't listen. She wasn't backing out in cowardice, because she had no other option- either Earth gets colonized and all life dies, or she had to take Pink Diamond out of the equation by faking her own death.

In Conclusion:

I strongly believe Pink wanted her own colony, and was thrilled when she got Earth. However, when she got Earth she saw that she wanted to protect life there more than she wanted to colonize it. She tried to argue to Blue and Yellow that life on Earth was worth protecting and she didn't want to colonize it further, but they(and a majority of the fandom) misinterpreted it as her making excuses to skip out on her Diamond responsibilities. She started to run out of options to save Earth, and when she was backed into a metaphorical corner, she faked her own death to protect Earth. There was a degree of selfishness to her actions, and I'm sure she wasn't anticipating Yellow Blue and White to react the way they did, but the fandom seems to be seeing her as a spoiled brat who wanted to run away from her responsibilities when I strongly believe she faked her death to protect Earth from colonization.

*inhales*

I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT ALMOST EVERYONE IS GETTING PINK DIAMOND’S MOTIVES IN A SINGLE PALE ROSE WRONG AND IS CALLING HER MORE SELFISH THAN SHE IS

SHE MADE SOME SELFISH DECISIONS BUT I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT A MAJORITY OF THIS FANDOM IS OVERLOOKING THE OTHER REASONS BEHIND HER ACTIONS- REASONS WE SEE A LOT OF IN THE PREVIOUS EPISODE

OKAY I GOT THAT OFF MY CHEST HAVE A NICE DAY