#[ power dynamic. it hits differently with these for me; it truly does. ]

[iniziare]

'Sb': i love writing het ships honestly Me in the het church, apparently: Same

[just-trying-to-fangirl-in-peace]

Kill and make up (Sauron x fem!Elf!reader)

-> in which you and your husband discover that Celebrimbor has escaped with the Nine, and it brings out the uglier side of your relationship

Warnings: evil!reader, brief eye injury, intense argument between spouses: reader and Sauron aren’t physically violent with each other (only like a hand grab and a shove), but they scream and throw things towards each other (he does it by accident, she does it on purpose, neither get hit); seeing and touching a severed finger, sadistic tendencies, lots of violence, murder, allusions to smut, fucked up relationship dynamics (as usual with these two but this may be the most deranged one I’ve written to date)

Note: part of the evil!reader collection. For context, reader has been married/soulbound to Sauron since before Adar killed him and infiltrated herself in Eregion as a smith while she waited for his return.

Sometimes you wonder if, when you and your husband bound yourselves to one another and part of his power was bestowed upon you, he had not let some of his short temper trickle into you as well.

But you never were entirely level-headed, even before Morgoth took you. The difference now is that you have tasted the fulfillment of giving in to your more violent urges in the past, which makes for even greater frustration when you must, for practical reasons, withhold.

Hence why you are now striding down the chaos-filled streets of Eregion, rather than watching over Celebrimbor whilst your husband commands the city’s defences. You do not trust yourself to leave him intact so he can finish the Nine unless you take the time to cool down after the little stunt he tried to pull on you.

He was only just applying the final touches to the very last of the Rings, and not a moment too soon. The siege had gone on into the night, and soon there may not be much of Eregion’s people left for your husband to promise he would spare so long as Celebrimbor provides him with the Rings. You meant it as a gesture of encouragement, truly—the way you idly fiddled with the keys to Celebrimbor’s shackles as you sat by his side, all but dangling his freedom before his eyes.

He must have noticed, though he did his best not to glance your way. You supposed he was taking some refuge in the work, throwing himself into it so that he might forget his less than savoury circumstances. That was fine by you. The thoughts in his mind were of little consequence, so long as his hands performed their duty with their usual skill.

And skilled they were indeed. Your eyes had drifted to the distance, glazed over with boredom at some point after your husband had left you alone with Celebrimbor, but you were pulled out of your little reveries of ruling Middle-Earth when you realized eight of the Nine now stood each in their holder on the other side of Celebrimbor, all shiny and brand new. Your fiddling with the keys had stopped then, and you stood to walk there and lean over Celebrimbor’s shoulder, touching the cool metal of one Ring in awe as you admired them.

“You have outdone yourself, really,” you praised, and meant it. The designs of the Rings varied, but they all possessed the same utterly impeccable kind of beauty, and the fact that you knew they had been made with your husband’s precious blood... you would wear and cherish them forever yourself if they weren’t meant for more practical purposes.

Celebrimbor, however, didn’t seem as proud of his own work.

“I had little choice,” he muttered, not looking away from the Ring in his hand.

You straightened yourself with a little sigh, and placed a hand upon his shoulder.

“This really is a pity,” you confessed. “I always hated being your so-called ‘subject’, but I can’t say you ever gave me another reason to dislike you. And your talents are bound to prove most useful in the future as well.”

At that, he looked up at you with a fresh kind of disbelief in his eyes.

“Am I to be your prisoner for the rest of my days, then?” he asked, nearly a challenge.

“That would be quite bothersome for everyone involved, wouldn’t it?” you said, perfectly pragmatic. “Hopefully, we can come to... understand each other. My husband and I are more than willing to make some allies of your value.”

By which you meant conveniently skilled or powerful beings who would serve your purposes blindly, much like you expected the Orcs to do, but the word ‘ally’ had a better ring to it.

It was plain to see in Celebrimbor’s eyes that he was hardly convinced, though, as he kept his stubborn silence. The time was fast approaching when your true conquest of Middle-Earth would begin, and it was never too early to plant the seeds for the network of opportune connections you planned on weaving all throughout it.

But also, you did enjoy being the equivalent of a cat playing with a mouse.

“How about a peace offering, then?” you said, plastering an inviting smile on your face. “A little show of good faith, to prove that your suffering in itself is far from our end in all this. Once you finish the Nine,” you made a show of holding up the keys, then tucking them safely away in a discreet pocket at the waist of your dress, “I leave you free to roam about the room, and merely lock the doors behind me whilst I deliver the Rings to my husband. Not that you’d make it two steps into the streets without being dragged back here by your own guards, but, as I said—in good faith—I shall spare you the humiliation of trying.”

There was a slight furrow in Celebrimbor’s brow as he hesitated. How confusing it must have been for him, to reconcile the kind tone of your voice he’d heard so many times with the cruel reality of who you are.

“Well,” he said tentatively, “I suppose that would be a bit better than my... current position.”

You gave him a bright smile, satisfied you had managed to bring him in agreement with you for the first time since he learned the truth. That was how it began—small victories, little ‘yeses’ here and there, until the intended target settled into a collaboration, or rather subservience, that was most convenient to your plans.

As you passed by Celebrimbor to return to your seat, he turned around on his stool and grabbed your hand, calling your name with sudden urgency. Your instinct was to shake off the touch, but, with only a tick in your jaw, you stopped to indulge him. You were playing nice, after all.

“Was truly all of it a lie?” he asked in a disheartened breath. “Was there no part of you that... wanted this life you have made for yourself here with us? The craft and the friendship we shared?”

He was quite the pitiful sight, looking up at you with that glint of hope in his eyes. You were quite sure that had been snuffed out the moment you had told him the story of how the bond between you and your husband had been forged, the salvation you had found in it from Morgoth’s cruelty, erasing all doubts that you and him might ever betray one another now.

Even Celebrimbor wouldn’t be so foolish as to believe he might still sway you with his words. You suspected what he was truly after—but you played along. In fact, you even stepped a little closer, and held up the hand with which he had grabbed yours, patting his knuckles condescendingly.

“Why would I want to serve you as a smith of Eregion,” you said, “when I could be served by all others?”

Celebrimbor’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, containing the nervous tremble of his voice as he spoke, “I may have been Lord of Eregion, and as such above you in station, but I never thought of you as anything less than my peer and my companion. Sauron—your husband,” he corrected, perceiving your ire at the less than savoury Elvish term, “he may believe even himself when he claims to consider you his equal, but with time... with the Rings...” He sighed, closing his eyes as if it pained him to speak the words, but in the end met your gaze and said with all the sincerity he could muster, “I do not wish to see you hurt.”

You tilted your head and knitted your brow in sympathy, softening your gaze as well as your voice.

“Oh, Celebrimbor,” you sighed, “have you come to care for me so much that my fate still concerns you after all I’ve put you through?”

“I’m afraid I have,” he confessed quietly.

You were meant to be surprised, intrigued, perhaps even touched. Distracted, in any case, your focus drawn to his face and the one hand of his you held within your grasp. That was his intent, which you had sensed since the very beginning of his entreating speech. He had some reason to believe his idea would work. His smith’s fingers are, after all, nimble and quick, as his craft demand them to be. But unlike you, he is a stranger to deceit and the mere attempt at it suits him ill. The only reason he succeeded in his little misguided endeavour was because you preferred to end his satisfaction, rather than prevent it altogether.

“They say imitation is the highest form of flattery,” you all but purred to him. “Alas, you have not the talent for treachery that I do.”

With that, you wrenched your hand from his and grabbed his other one. His struggle was brief and futile as you forced that fist to open, and retrieved the keys he had just subtly slipped out of your pocket.

Any trace of poorly feigned concern vanished from his face, replaced by the frustration of defeat. You tsk-ed to yourself as you shoved the keys back into your pocket.

“And here I thought you were becoming reasonable,” you lamented, leaning against the table by his side with your other hand planted onto your hip, much like an irritated teacher. “What did you imagine? That you would unlock yourself when my back was turned and then... what? Outrun me? Fight me? I know you’ve never seen that particular side of me, but I assure you, I am as skilled in combat as you are in your craft.”

He couldn’t hold your scolding gaze. He turned back towards the table and leaned his elbows on it, resting his forehead upon his clenched fists, no doubt trying to stave off a stress-induced headache and crushing sense of hopelessness. Still, to ensure he knew better than to underestimate you next time, you intended to grab his chin and make him look you in the eye as you made one final threat, but he spoke before you had the chance to.

“In that case,” he admitted, lifting his head, “I suppose I was going about it all wrong.”

This time, you didn’t see it coming. By the time you jumped out of the way, he had already grabbed a small recipient on the table and projected the powdered metal inside straight into your eyes—real powdered metal, not the blood your husband had passed as mithril. The burn of the fine shards in your eyes was instant, forced them shut and ripped a cry from your throat as you scrambled away, one hand covering them—

Celebrimbor grabbed that elbow to yank you into his lap, but that only made it all the easier to drive it into his ribs, knocking the breath and a short scream out of him. You needed no eyesight for that—only sharp instincts and red-hot anger, and you had quite enough of both. He hadn’t even managed to find your pocket again before you escaped his grasp and stumbled out of his reach, even without seeing where you were going.

A quick thinker, the bastard. The moment he understood he could not defeat you by sheer strength or deceit, he had attempted to blind you instead.

With a string of anguished grunts, you fumbled around blindly until you knocked into what must have been the railing to the upper side of the forge where you and Celebrimbor were, with enough force that you might have toppled over it if you hadn’t caught yourself. Gripping the metal, you squeezed your already shut eyes, and tried to concentrate through the pain and mend the damage. You may not have had to do it in recent years, but you’d had enough such experience under Morgoth’s rule. Gradually, the burn dimmed, and the metal in your eyes dissolved, and you were left shaking with wrath as you opened your eyes.

In different circumstances, you might have slowly turned towards him first, made him cower in terror under your murderous gaze before you sprung into action. But you were beyond such theatrics now. With the swiftness of a snake lunging to sink its fangs into a victim, you whipped around, marched over to Celebrimbor and grabbed his throat so quickly he didn’t even get to gasp before your other hand yanked his head back by the hair.

“You are going to regret that,” you growled. Rage boiled within you, a furious thirst for revenge, an all-consuming urge to return the pain he had given you tenfold and hear him scream—

But the Nine were not finished.

It was with tremendous self-restraint that you slowly lowered your face an inch away from Celebrimbor’s, your ragged breath hitting his quivering lips.

“...later,” you whispered viciously. “Finish!”

He gasped for the breath you had denied him the moment you released him with a shove, nearly falling from his chair with the force of it. No amount of deep breathing in his presence would stop the blood roaring in your ears. So, you stormed down the stairs and out of the forge, slamming the doors shut behind you without even locking them.

He was in shackles, after all.

As you reenter the forge room some time later, you are pleased to say you have regained your composure. Nothing like a stroll through a raging battle to calm the senses, especially when you were briefly treated to the sight of your beloved standing upon a distant rampart, tall and fair as he commanded the forces of Eregion.

If not for the need to maintain appearances, you’d have called for his attention through your bond and blown him a loving kiss from below.

“All right, Celebrimbor,” you say now, shutting the doors behind you, “I believe we must clarify some—”

He’s gone.

Heart pounding, you practically fly across the room, running up the stairs to the empty desk where Celebrimbor had been sitting before. Your husband could not have freed him. Could he? You had only just seen him outside, and the Rings are gone as well. Had they been finished, surely he would have reached for you through your bond the moment he had learned of it, called you to bask in the victory at his side. You scramble through every object on the desk, turning them over, opening cases, looking for any sign of the Rings.

Something squelches beneath your foot. But before you lower your gaze all the way down there, something else catches your eye on the floor—Celebrimbor’s shackle. Still locked. Blood-stained.

Entirely mechanical, you reach down and pinch the wet thing beneath the sole of your foot between two fingers, lifting it to your eyes to confirm your suspicion of what it is.

A severed finger.

When you wish to, or when the circumstances demand such a thing, you have many more vicious and sophisticated ways of expressing anger than mere spoken words. However, at times such a predicament arises where you are simply reduced to plain old foul language.

“Fuck,” you breathe out.

If the Rings were not finished, that is going to be a problem. But you have a feeling that they are, which is precisely why Celebrimbor has resorted to such a desperate gesture to withhold them from you and your husband.

Speaking of whom—his familiar steps are echoing down the hall.

Nearly releasing another expletive, you rush right back the way you came, down the stairs and across the room and out the door just in the nick of time to slam it shut before your husband would have stepped inside. He halts before you, taken aback.

“Love,” you greet him with a small smile. He’s seen enough of those to know which ones are fake. Not to mention the slight tremor in your voice, the alarm you’re attempting to conceal on your end of the bond, and—if those weren’t quite enough—the severed digit in your grasp which you seem to have acquired in your husband’s absence.

It’s endearing, really, how your skills of deception vanish like smoke in the wind when it comes to fooling your husband in any regard.

“I see our friend has upset you once more,” he remarks calmly, eyeing the finger in your hand. “However, I should hope you allowed him to finish the Rings before you claimed your little trophy, beloved.”

His smile is ever-so-slightly tense, his tone ever-so-slighty warning, and you are a lot more than slightly flustered to realize that in your haste, it had slipped your mind to do something so simple as to toss away the bloody finger in your hand.

You do so now, furiously wiping off the mess on your dress for lack of a better outlet for your nerves.

“I did not...” you begin. “Celebrimbor has apparently...”

“What is it?” your husband demands briskly. He knows something is wrong, wrong enough to have you acting so flustered, and that can only mean it will anger him beyond belief.

You release a sharp sigh, and quite frankly, give up. There is no way to break the news to him gently. So, you fix your husband with as stern a look as you can. “If you could just refrain from tearing this whole place to the ground—”

But he has already pushed past you and burst into the forge room.

“—that would be nice,” you finish to the empty hall, then follow him inside.

“Where is he?” your husband growls, storming up the stairs and staring at the empty desk with wide, crazed eyes as he shouts, “Where are the Rings?”

“He must have taken them,” you tell him, angered but far more level-headed than him as you climb the stairs as well. “They were nearly finished, and—”

An entire wooden cabinet clatters to the ground, furiously toppled by your husband. But the sound is barely the buzz of a fly compared to the deafening roar that tears out of his throat. You halt near the top of the stairs and wince, waiting for the sound to die down. No doubt it echoed to every Elf below, even through the ruckus of battle.

This... is the sort of thing you were hoping to avoid.

How nice of you to inform Celebrimbor that his absence has been noticed, you think, simply because such quips are in your nature. You know better than to say it—but you are both fraught with powerful emotions, and your bond turns volatile, and things slip through. You know he’s felt the reproach the moment his furious gaze turns upon you.

“Perhaps I should ask...” he says, eerily quiet as he approaches you, “where were you?”

Someone else might have fled, or fallen to their knees to plead for mercy under such a withering glare. You, however, have the luxury of knowing that you are the only being who has or ever will remain perfectly unscathed despite incurring your husband’s wrath. So, you climb the last of the steps and meet his gaze head on, unintimidated by such theatrics.

“Celebrimbor attempted a most distasteful treachery,” you declare, arms crossed defiantly as your husband comes to tower above you. “He tried to steal the keys to his shackles by blinding me with powdered metal. I knew better than to risk damaging his precious fingers—or worse—in retaliation before his work was finished. As such, I stepped outside.”

“You left him alone,” your husband fumes in disbelief, “because you couldn’t keep your daggers sheathed?”

“Oh please,” you scoff. “You’ve made far more strategically inconvenient kills for far less. I was merely being practical.”

“Practical, you say?” he mocks, whipping away and striding back to Celebrimbor’s work table. “Pray tell, how come you were within his reach to begin with?” He proceeds to toss every item away and open every possible compartment, his voice growing to a hoarse shout with each accusation he spits. “Were you perhaps taunting him, goading him, playing with your food as you can never seem to refrain from doing?”

“Oh, so when you do it, it’s fine,” you raise your voice right back, uncrossing your arms so you can gesture as frantically as he behaves while he moves to deface another table. “When I do it, it’s irresponsible.”

“What is irresponsible,” he points a finger at you, “is that you left the Nine and our most valuable asset unattended so you could go for a stroll!”

You’ve seen dragons with less fire on their hottest breath than that of the rage ignited in your chest. You surge towards him and snatch his accusatory finger in a death grip.

“I needed a break,” you scream in his face, “and he was in shackles! And he’s obsessed with his craft—which very much requires hands! How was I to imagine he’d be idiotic enough to chop off his own fucking finger?!”

“Enough!” he roars over your screech, prying your hand from around his with a powerful shove. Your calf hits Celebrimbor’s desk stool as you shuffle back, and you kick it with a yell and a burst of your power that sends it flying over the railing and splintering to pieces on the steps all the way at the entrance to the forge room. The same destructive force is behind the glare with which you fix your husband.

Forget not tearing this place to the ground. You feel as if you could crack every table in two with your bare hands, you could shatter all the windows with nothing but a shriek, you could crumble the stone floors with the stomp of your foot, you could— you could—

You turn on your heel and storm away. The moment you do, your husband demands in a gruff shout, “Where are you going?”

“To fix this!” you snarl. You whip around to face him, your voice dropping to mocking sweetness before it builds right back into a hoarse scream. “But please, do keep smashing to pieces every single object in your sight. I’m sure Celebrimbor simply stashed the Rings in some hidden corner whilst he went for a nine-fingered stroll in the rubble!”

With that, you leave again. The sounds of destruction resume behind you, but you block them out the same way you do your husband’s inflamed end of your bond. Until you’ve nearly reached the stairs, and some glass object hits the railing with a loud smash, shattering to pieces. Relatively close to you.

You don’t even look down. You simply stop, take a breath in the sudden silence. Turn around. Then, chin high, perfectly poised and in the most controlled of tones, you ask your husband:

“Did you just throw that in my direction?”

Rage rolls off him in waves—but he has ceased his rampage, and there is the subtlest hesitant crease of his brow as he looks at you.

“Don’t be absurd,” he says stiffly. “I was hardly even looking your way—”

But then he’s dodging a projectile—a metal case you had picked off the ground and chucked his way in the blink of an eye.

“You weren’t looking?” you growl, already snatching a creasing hammer from the table to throw his way next. “You weren’t looking? Well, I am!”

He catches the hammer, swats away the chisel that follows with his power, advancing through the enemy fire until he can grip your wrists and pull them to his chest to stop you from gathering further ammunition.

“Save you energy, love,” he growls as you struggle in his grip. “Try as you might, you cannot harm my flesh.”

“I know! That’s why I’m trying!”

You wrest yourself out of his hold, chest heaving as you stumble back a couple of steps. For a moment, your ragged breaths are all there is. But the storm is far from over, and the moment you open your mouths again, your voices escalate into screams once more.

“You, on the other hand,” you accuse, nearly in tears, “the moment my back was turned—”

“You know very well I cannot hurt you!”

“But you wish to hurt me?”

“I wish to hurt something!”

“So do I!”

Your roar echoes in the chamber, your throat raw, your every muscle trembling with rage. You cannot harm my flesh. But you could harm his soul. You could, simply by doubting him. You have. It brings no satisfaction. It isn’t what you want. What you want is for him to kneel and beg forgiveness for his words, or maybe to fuck you so hard you forget he ever said them at all.

But you can have neither, because you are no longer alone.

They must have arrived when you and your husband were at the height of your screaming match, thus why you only now turn your heads to see them entering the room—ten or so guards, led by Captain Malendol and, supported by him as he limps to a stop, Celebrimbor himself.

“Marital spat?” he derides flatly, a shred of defiance in his voice even as he cradles his thumb-less left hand to his chest. From the appalled way in which Malendol looks at you, it’s plain to see that Celebrimbor has somehow regained the trust of his guards and exposed you for who you are, once and for all. Or perhaps the glimpse he’d caught of your lover’s quarrel had been proof enough. Either way, you’re so ablaze with rage, you can’t even bask in the grand reveal.

“Foreplay,” you reply dryly—and there is, after all, a bit of satisfaction in the various degrees of shock and discomfort that flash across the guards’ faces.

“Where are the Rings?” your husband demands, ice cold as he passes by you and descends the stairs.

“Not here,” Celebrimbor answers. “They will be far  from your reach by now.”

“Oh, come now, Celebrimbor,” you coax with all the goodwill of a viper as you join your husband down the stairs. “It was such a silly thing you did to that precious hand of yours. If you return the Rings, maybe we can find a way to mend it.”

His eyes shine with tears, which he holds proudly back.

“The loss shall be well worth it,” he says, pained, “so long as it ensures that neither of you will ever touch a Ring again.”

You grit your teeth, his audacity adding fuel to the already blazing fire of your rage. Whatever retort you and your husband might have made, you are rudely interrupted.

“Seize them!” Malendol orders, and his soldiers march forward. “By order of the true Lord of Eregion, you, Sauron and—”

The words die in his throat. He’s choked out, jaw slack and quivering as he struggles against your husband’s power. The soldiers halt, gazes shifting hesitantly between you and your husband and their captain.

“I believe you’ve spoken my wife’s name quite enough times already,” your husband says. Any other time, you would be delighted. With Mirdania gone, it’s time for the Elf whose affections you had entertained only closely enough to grate your husband’s nerves to meet his own end. Perfect symmetry, mutual satisfaction. But you are beyond being assuaged by such games in this moment.

You grip your husband’s arm, and fix him with a gaze which demands that he meet it. It would be so easy for him to flick that wrist of his and have the guards fall upon their own swords. But that would leave the issue of your unconsummated lust for violence, and when such a volatile feeling bounced off each other in an endless loop through the bond without release, it led to nothing good, not even for you.

So, staring in your husband’s eyes, you hiss, “Let us hurt something.”

You need not say a word more. Your husband narrows his eyes at you briefly, but the suggestion immediately sinks in. Malendol sputters a panicked breath as his throat is released from your husband’s power, a look of even deeper dread than before written on his face, but he repeats his order.

“Seize them!”

And his soldiers, now valiantly joined by their captain, advance on you once more. The sight of them circling you with swords drawn as you and your husband stand back to back is quite invigorating. It even brings a little smile and a quip to your lips.

“Might you be so kind as to lend me that?” You point to the sword of the guard facing you.

And answer your own question—with lightning-fast mayhem.

A concealed dagger is brandished from your sleeve and you swiftly send it flying to its new home in the guard’s skull. A quick pull of your power draws the hilt of his sword to your hand whilst your other imitates the dagger-throw and sword-stealing with another guard, and by the time three others have attacked, you have more than enough steel in your hands to meet their own with a loud clang. Behind you, similar sounds of confrontation are made by your husband and his own side of opponents.

It is to be noted that the ensuing fight is by no means a desperate struggle for escape on you and your husband’s part. In fact, the guards are hardly your main focus, even as you single-handedly hold your own against several of them at the same time and, over the course of the following few minutes, decimate them one by one. You simply wish to feel your bones rattle with each blow you land, to hear the tearing of flesh under your blade, to give yourself an outlet of your anger whom you have no reservation to make bleed, when the true source of your rage is quite off-limits in that regard—and driven by the same compulsion to inflict pain as you.

Now, you can really have a go at each other.

“You realize,” your husband begins between easily placed parries, wielding a guard’s sword to which he had helped himself, “this only serves to prove my point.”

You glance briefly at him, kicking a guard in the shin whilst you block another’s blade. “Which is?”

“There is work,” he grabs one by the helmet, “and there is play,” then slits his throat before attacking another. “And you, my love, tend to confuse them.”

“Yet here you are,” you retort through grunts of effort, “indulging me as though you take no joy in it yourself.” You are as triumphant in your words as you are in thrusting your sword into a guard’s gut. But your husband does not relent.

“There would be nothing to indulge,” he growls, “if you hadn’t allowed the Rings to be taken!”

With a furious wave of his hand, a guard flies out the window, screaming on his long way down.

“Maybe the Rings would not have been taken, had you not grown negligent with your illusion in the first place!” you growl right back, snapping a neck. “Maybe if you had spared a thought to the way candles function, we would not be here!”

Your husband crushes a skull. “You have not the slightest idea of the skill required to maintain such an intricate illusion. You had one simple task of—”

“One simple task? One?” A well-placed kick relieves a guard of the future children he might have had, if you didn’t cut his throat next. “Was it one simple task to spend centuries insinuating myself by Celebrimbor’s side—”

“Not this again—”

“Yes, this again! This, forever!” you scream over the guard whose leg you break. “I put myself through years of suffering based on nothing but blind faith that you would return!”

“And yet,” your husband presses on cruelly, plunging his blade into a heart, “you could not perform the simple task of ensuring Celebrimbor remained in his shackles.”

You slash a throat, screaming. Speaking of Celebrimbor—in the quick glimpse you catch of him, he looks like he might be questioning his reality all over again in the face of your ‘marital spat’.

And he thought you licking your husband’s blood was deranged.

A guard nearly stabs you in the side, and you resume fighting fueled by a brand new bout of anger.

“You do this... every time!” you yell at your husband. “The moment something doesn’t go to plan, you blame everything and everyone but yourself.” Having stripped the guard of his weapon and helmet, you are now in the process of forcing him to his knees. “And since I’m the closest at hand, you blame me!” For good measure, you emphasize each word with a smash of the guard’s head into a nearby table. “Every,” smash, “single,” smash, “time!”

Smash and thud, when the guard’s limp body hits the ground.

Your husband watches, his lips twitching into a snarl as he flings a guard into a wall.

“Very well,” he grunts. “We are both to blame. But if you could restrain your sadistic tendencies—”

“Oh, please! Nothing gets you harder than your wife wreaking havoc, even when it’s in defiance of you. Especially then.” You put a guard in a chokehold, throwing your husband a most flirtatious smile. “If it was in my nature to ‘restrain my sadistic tendencies’, you would not have wed me.”

Snap goes the guard’s neck. Another struggles on the ground, much like a roach beneath your husband’s boot on his chest.

“If I wished only to sate my carnal desires,” he rasps out, “I would have wed no one at all.”

He crushes said chest as he steps over it to lunge at another guard. You cackle like a mad woman as you break a nose. “You are a Maia! You had no carnal desire until I invented it!” You feel the retort on his tongue, no doubt a claim that you are exaggerating—which maybe you are, but not in what you say next, between the occasional pants and grunts of the fight.

“There was always me, or no one—and from the moment you first had me, you could never go back to not having me.” Your current opponent drops to the ground, his heart pierced by your blade. “So blame me all you want, love. I could inconvenience you a thousand times, and you’d adore me still.”

There is no retort. No screams, or clangs of metal, or broken bones, or any noise at all—for all your foes are dead, and your fight consummated. All that is left is you and your husband, standing before each other in the aftermath of your destruction. Panting, covered in blood. Sated.

Gazes locked, you move towards each other, sparing not the slightest of glances to the rubble and bodies over which you step until you are close enough to breathe each other’s air. Weapons lowered to your sides, you do not touch, or speak. One last confrontation, to see which one of you will break first.

“I spoke in anger,” your husband yields.

As he very well should. Still, you eye him with a not-quite-convinced look. “Is that your idea of an apology?”

“What is yours?” he challenges, but his words have no true bite. Not anymore.

It would be less of an apology and more of something you would have done anyway, but the timing is poetically symbolic when the guard whose chest your husband had crushed under his boot suddenly takes a whizzing breath. Captain Malendol himsef, as a quick glance tells you, is still alive—barely—and picking himself off the ground a few feet to your side with staggering resolve.

He raises his sword, charging towards you with one last, valiant cry, and manages the great feat of having his throat swiftly cut by with your blade. A most tragically heroic sight, surely, but you wouldn’t know, since you never once took your eyes off your husband’s while you did it.

The captain’s armored body clatters to the ground, the same time as your weapons. Your husband’s eyes dart to him, visibly satisfied, but not fully so. His gaze meets yours, then lowers to your lips, and he leans in—only half the way, in invitation.

With an indulgent little hum, you close the distance and give him a kiss. No more than a little peck, really. A token of reconciliation. Something clicks back into place within you as the tension in your bond subsides, and you feel a matching sense of relief on your husband’s end of it. Fighting each other always feels like tearing out your own flesh, yet you do it anyway, with lethal consequences—to others, of course.

Towards others, in fact, is the only direction in which you and your beloved should ever direct your fury, as you feel him agree now that you have finally murdered your way to making up.

“Look at us,” you lament, “blaming each other, when the fault is all his.”

The last word is as venomous as the look with which you then fix Celebrimbor, glued to the same spot where he had been standing since he entered. Defiance and terror battle in his eyes as he stares back, mouth slightly open in disbelief at your display, surely aware that any attempt to escape would only end in more suffering than is already in store for him���should he refuse to obey your husband’s command, that is.

“How right you are, my love,” your husband says as you face Celebrimbor, standing as one once more. “You will give us the Nine,” he orders darkly.

Celebrimbor shuts his mouth, clenches his jaw, as if that would be enough to keep the secret of the Nine’s whereabouts locked behind his lips. His eyes dart to the fallen soldiers decorating the floor of his once beautiful forge, and you can practically hear him resolve to ensure that those sacrifices will not have been in vain.

“Oh, my love...” A most wicked smile blooms on your lips. “I think he wants us to play with him, too.”

Your husband’s voice is lethal.

“He shall have his wish.”

Previous fic with same reader -> Old wounds

Next fic with same reader -> Defied

[nyipi]

I dunno if this is copium BUT i wish alastor would apologize to husker. I like to imagine that al, husk, and niff were like a dynamic trio during alastor's lesser infamous days. And i like to believe Husk was special to Al because, while he would have just killed any other overlord, he chose to make husk his thrall instead. I think they were friends or at least acquiantances that al respected just enough.

My own headcanon to their deal is:

Husk asked Al for a favor, offering every material possession he has left to get out of some sort of debt or hit on his life. Al suggested the gamble. "We've known each other for a time now, and I do find your companionship quite amusing. So i offer you this. If you win, i do this for you as a favor. No payment necessary. But if I win, you give me your soul." Cause what does he need possessions for? It's an all or nothing deal but Husk was confident enough he could win so he took it, was even appreciative of Al's offer because he really would like to keep his possessions. (In his mind, he thought Al was giving him an out, because he thought Al knew better than to challenge him where he was best at).

When he lost and sold his soul to Al, he thought it wasnt too bad at first. He ended up losing his Overlord status but he was just glad Al got him out of the trouble he was in cause nobody would cross Al. He was only ever summoned as extra muscle during Al's hunts, Niffty soon joined. And then it became tradition. Alastor, Husk, and Niffty doing their weekly hunt on the next sorry Overlord thag will soon debut in the broadcasts. Sure, Al was his boss now, the owner of his soul but Al treated him like his friend still, but a friend who was inclined to listen to his every request.

When Al started getting more powerful, more infamous. He starts to prefer doing his hunts alone. Becomes colder towards Husk, only treating him like the thrall he realy was. Husk hates it, especially since Al would almost mockingly still call him "old pal/friend" when he doesnt treat him like so. Their friendship to enthrallment status is why i think he is sooo open to mouth off at Al, not really ever fearing for what he says. Until ep 5, husk has known Al enough to know what pushes his buttons and what to say to get Al to realize how unreasonable he was being, but Al has never truly snapped at him like he just did. So it scares Husk very deeply. It takes him by surprise and it makes him realize just how truly different Alastor is now. They are no longer friends, haven't been for a while.

I was just talking out my ass and rambling sorry about that but im just so sad about the alastor and husk thingy in ep 5 agjsjsoala

I wonder if i should make this into an AU

[jess-the-vampire]

Question about the AROFAM Au. How does the Day Of Unity and S3 special's plot line work given. . .well, everything.

Simple! I had to change basically everything.

obviously due to the nature of the au, and trying to keep everyone mostly still in character, the day of unity would make no sense at all to exist, so it...doesn't.

instead, in order to create a plot similar to the show to hit a lot of similar beats, i took the titan trappers and make them into more prominent characters/villains

so instead of a day of unity, it's their ritual to sacrifice king to free the collector, after years of earning their way to power and finding a new disk (The disk Philip was hiding in his basement)

and instead of the plan to be to stop the draining spell, it's a plan to save king's life and prevent the collector from being released (Collector has been convinced alongside Lilith they're going to save them, have no idea king would die for it)

also also, Philip, due to breaking his deal with collector and making him mad, is just...terrified of him, so everyone is under the impression freeing him will cause massive consequences

day of unity instead involved infiltrating the ritual space and getting both king and the disk out from under the trapper's noses, philip and caleb are going after the disk, kiki and steve were in charge of going for king.

Everyone else was there to make the escape and heist easy

(Yes this became a heist episode, which i think is funny payoff for the raiding these guys do in this au, truly the ultimate raid)

Also, philip and caleb get to be dressed up like this:

and yes, that does change other episodes like Edge of the World, tho they do still find out king is a titan in that so that plot point sticks.

you still have king releasing collector, but the context is slightly different and there are plenty unique heartbreaking elements to this au's version of KT.

Like Philip and Caleb getting into a fight right before being separated in different dimensions due to philip sacrificing himself to stay on the isles to face his punishment (Which obviously leads to different dynamics in s3 where king is hanging out alongside philip and Lilith whilst eda and luz are stuck on earth)

s3 has the unique thing of having caleb be stuck with all the kids on earth after being gone so long, seeing how things have changed and coping with the regret of his brother being gone after he promised they'd never seperate like that again.

darius and eber are there of course so they all gotta manage the kids and get to all catch up, while eda is out there in beast form.

all the stuff with camilia seeing luz, which is a pile of angst in itself, especially since she and caleb become grief friends and he appears to be harboring her missing daughter.

the whole rescue mission to get philip back in FTF, reuniting with kiki whose now the rebel leader actually, eda and lilith uniting after so many dang years, and the finale that's more about talking down the collector and befriending him rather then a big old fight.

and that's just me summarizing stuff, there's a lot i'm just skimming over

but as you can tell, i changed stuff, added new and unique stuff, and put a lot of thought into still making it a swap au whilst making things still unique.

if that all sounds interesting, check out my au at @areverseoffeathersandmud-archive , there is a LOT, and you can see these plots with some comics and art there

[inchidentally]

Um, these 60 seconds of recent content between Lando and Oscar made me realize one thing, are these two really only knowing each other for a year or their whole lives?

the audience does not know !!!

like there's a very specific 'united front' thing I can see in a lot of partnerships and it's founded on different things but ultimately manifests in a feeling of cohesion between the drivers. (and I am so sorry bc I saw in passing someone else made a similar post to this but I cannot remember who so lmk bc I don't want to be ripping off their idea !! I have my own separate feelings about it so it's not a copy but still I wish I could have kept that on my dash long enough to rb)

like most teammates fall in the neutral category of professional politeness and friendliness but also the need to push for their own advantage wherever possible. totally fine and normal. also allows for a few fireworks occasionally which is just as good for fan engagement - sometimes more - than if the drivers were always cool w each other.

aberrations like Senna and Prost, brocedes, and sebmark are not to be included - way too unique. could even throw Esteban and Pierre in there.

you've got consummate professionals Lewis and George who are both careful about cultivating their own separate images and who hold a baseline of genuine respect for each other - but part of that respect being that they both know they'll look out for themselves first. so they're very much similar and equals even in operating very independently. ultimately they want the mess to get cleaned up and to shake hands and do business as usual. I could see them genuinely having to hash out something truly ugly and shake hands and move onto their own lives no problem. which like, they clearly have lol.

then there's a situation like Alex and Logan where the dynamic is so incredibly imbalanced BUT you have someone as humanly decent and warm as Alex (even if he maybe wishes he were less so for competitive reasons) and Logan has already become very skilled at dealing with being an outsider/almost unwanted :( and it's clear that they both see how hard-working they both are and what a massive thankless task they have in trying to just achieve points - undetermined if they're mostly friendly out of trauma bonding or will remain friends after being separated but there's absolute friendliness and respect.

then there's The Charisma Guys of Daniel and Carlos and now Lando (who mooched a lot of his F1 charisma off of Carlos and then Daniel). Daniel and Carlos replicate an almost identical dynamic with all of their teammates and it's predicated on what most drivers are already well versed in, which is: playing gay for fangirls, bromance hugging/camaraderie/ribbing for sports media and fans, and taking care of their own brand and career separately from their teammate. it's a powerful tool to have especially for leveraging the popularity of whatever bromance they're in towards their own image without having to lose power over their own image. individual sponsorships being a driver's second goal after winning races and WDCs also makes this an exceptionally good skill to have. it only starts to break down when the personal fortunes of one of the drivers start to hit hard times (current example being obvious).

the Carlos and Charles dynamic absolutely pulls a lot from the charisma/bromance stuff but the huge difference is that Ferrari would - like any F1 team - not give a shit if they didn't get along and just hitched on a bland smile for the cameras. Ferrari aren't remotely behind C2 being what it is, that's all Charles and Carlos. don't get me wrong Ferrari social media teams are MORE than happy to jump on! and sure, the challenges and content are a fun bonus thing to sponsors but three things here: one is that Ferrari IS the brand and they're a top 3 team like they're not grasping for sponsors asflgaslf. two is that as many partnerships have shown, you really don't need to do that much to satisfy the brief. and third, sponsors are like 99.999999% interested in the team's standings and the drivers' individual popularity with partnership popularity coming dead bottom - the bromances are only worth it if they're engagement darlings like carlando. and charlos doesn't do anywhere near those numbers or that widespread corporate social media appeal. you gotta do major impact with crazed fans for it to at all influence a brand's decision where to put their money. so all of the pop off the screen fun and genuine enjoyment we see Carlos and Charles have is fully legit. when they're being tongue-in-cheek levels of cutesy they literally say so. 2025 onward will see how much of a friendship there actually is, but as far as them being very happy with the partnership and collaborating exceptionally well within it, they're far more rock solid and natural at it than most. and the fact that they're if anything even tighter when there's zero incentive for it ?? and when their families and fanbases and their team principal and garages are constantly feuding ?? like it says everything about how much they respect each other and actually feel affection for each other to remain such a united front and so happy and affectionate. nobody else benefited from Carlos asking his team to tell Charles' team to come celebrate his win with him. nobody else in Ferrari or on the grid made bank off of about Charles rushing to congratulate Carlos while he was still in the car. (especially not when carlando did a quick hug and it got brands and official accounts posting tiktok ship edits to the predictable delight of thousands of fangirls. and for them all to cough cough conveniently ignore the embrace with his gf to push the image further.) there is no PR benefit behind C2 that would justify them hitching on such a dramatic facade - and if anything the people around them would prefer they kept separate so that they could celebrate one without the other. whatever their relationship is after this there will always be that massive respect IN SPITE of what the world around them wants.

but Lando and Oscar are such a major aberration not just in them both being so incredibly young and arriving into F1 so hot and already being so close in ability, but their specific 'history' and personalities. they were already such an easy fit together that it surpassed the professional need for a bromance buffer - and at the same time their bond being partly on how naturally private and shy they are made them poorly suited for a PR machine.

Oscar had already said - and a lot of fans already knew - that there were several friends in common and that the shifts in careers and being separated professionally by more years than their ages is the only thing that meant they'd never crossed paths before privately. as K said back when Oscar originally opened that TikTok acc it was so long ago that he followed Max F but that Lando didn't even have an one yet.

but also as many people close to Lando have said (good example that was posted recently) and that we can often still see in streamer Lando - Lando is very much like Oscar as a person at his core. pretty much all of the 'famous person' stuff we saw him become happened after 2019 and directly because of latching onto the social lives of guys like Carlos, Daniel and Martin. he's always referred to as extremely shy and he's said before he likes for others to lead. but his comfort place is still either hanging out in private with close friends only or to get on stream and laugh with his friends. Lando himself said that he considers Oscar to be very similar to him as a person outside of F1 and for all that in some ways that seems surprising, when you look at who Lando is when he's not in Professional Mode or Party Friends Mode he genuinely really fits in with someone quiet like Oscar who loves spending hours gaming w his friends and not being in public. I don't know enough about Martin Garrix as a person but I rly honestly see that with him as well. yes there's the Party Friend aspect but for them to travel solo for two entire winter breaks in a row ?? clearly Martin is a peaceful, quiet guy on Lando's level <3

and ofc I go onnnnn and fucking on about how while we all hate it bc it means we don't get as much content, the fact is that Lando and Oscar are the type of friendship/partnership where it's quiet and private and not something that translates to a bromance on camera. it's never going to be strategic.

so the fact that they have this "twinning" thing isn't that they are identical or that they even look all that similar, it's down to actually slotting in really well with each other as people! as always who knows how deep these friendships actually go but the whole mind-reading and synchronization and total lack of drama between them as drivers comes from genuinely being similar people and liking each other - that's what we're all picking up on when we watch them together.

the fact that they honestly find it awkward as hell when the media try to get them to "package" their friendship in bromancey soundbites or when they look at the camera a bit like an intruder that's making them dance their friendship around for media, like. that's so incredibly relatable for how any of us would feel with one of our actual friends having to do all that. having a camera aimed at us and some stranger being like "so you two get on really well huh?" and practically leaning in for an expected answer ???? it would be so stupid and weird and the whole way Lando and Oscar work together in unison to dispel how weird that is is so natural !!

idk it's like there's different things to take from different partnerships and literally all of us are suckers for a fun bromance and great professional chemistry. but I think this whole universal 'twins' thing that everyone sees in Lando and Oscar is genuinely two guys who are similar in all the fundamental ways and who actually slot together in ways where they naturally just agree on everything and therefore can predict a lot of what the other person is thinking if that makes sense ??? like yes Lando has Single Guy Party Times and professional motivations where Oscar does not but for a friendship and partnership to work, those are the two least relevant things to need to be similar about y'know ??

[silversodas]

The Tornado vs The Glass Cannon

Rocky and Mordecai’s interactions in the side comics have painted them as pretty interesting foils for each other

Mordecai surprised me in this comic, I expected him to write off Rocky like everyone else does whenever he says or does something weird. But Mordecai just questions his actions and engages in an honest not to bad conversation with Rocky. (They seem like the type of people that have conversations that take 20 different directions and no one can follow) They have the potential for a pretty interesting dynamic and I am interested to see if they get one in the animated series especially with how the pilot turned out. And yes, they didn’t interact in the pilot, but Rocky was the only one to surprise and get the drop on Mordecai, also I need to talk about Mordecai’s questionable quick draw skills. Let’s start closer to the beginning

People have already noticed that Mordecai was shocked and recognized Ivy

But he also makes an effort as discreetly as he can to divert the twin’s attention away from Ivy and the others

“Can we not prolong this? We have more pressing matters to attend to”

His eyes dart away from them while saying this, showing he is not being genuine. I am on board with the observation that he left to try and find out who killed Atlas, and at this point I think he was of the mind set that he didn’t want to hurt Ivy but would if he had to. He spectates until Serafine warns him they might be thinking he doesn’t want to kill them and this is my first “do you just not shoot fast?” Moment comes up

When trying to shoot Rocky, he takes so much time that Rocky notices him and gets Ivy to make a hard left, but maybe the audience is just viewing it slower then it’s actually happening? Because when Rocky is able to dodge the bullet it hitting the radiator instead gives Mordecai pause

He slowly lowers his gun and raises an eyebrow, almost like he is thinking “huh, that wasn’t supposed to happen” like he was surprised he was able to dodge the bullet

The second time with Calvin is really weird because he gave Calvin enough time to stop being dizzy, look around, and then notice that a gun was in his face

Like are you planning to shoot him sometime this year Mordy? You could have head shot him three freaking times in the time he was trying to get up. Are you giving them opportunities to get away?

This is also when our Tornado Rocky gets the drop on our Glass Cannon

This is the first time his facade drops and is truly shocked, even looks around dumbly. A glass cannon is pretty much what it sounds like, something or someone vary dangerous or powerful but also vary fragile. Mordecai has delicate senses being incredibly OCD, he can improvise but only within the perimeters of how he thinks everyone works

And Rocky was a literal tornado in the pilot

Mordecai is no longer relaxed and indifferent, he is alert and wondering WTF is happening. He attempts to get closer to shoot Rocky just like Serafine and Nico are, but none of them can get close or land a shot

Rocky’s part in this fight feels like he is symbolically acting as a tornado, large, destructive, and Serafine nearly gets killed trying shoot him. I am interested to see how that ability gets used in the future, because not only does he make a grate distraction, he is a distraction you can’t touch.

And then there is where he spared Ivy, which is the most interesting. I do think Victor is part of the reason he didn’t want to hurt Ivy, this is his third, taking his sweet time to shoot shot. But this one feels more like an exchange and leads me to believe that he has his own dynamic with her

Ivy notices Mordecai point a gun at her, but says nothing and doesn’t even alert Rocky or Calvin

She has time to duck, to warn the boys, but doesn’t, she could be frozen in fear, but I doubt it. Actually she doesn’t even look that afraid, almost like she is staring him down. As if she knows she doesn’t have to duck because she knows he won’t shoot her, she doesn’t even drive any faster. She is proven right in the end

He doesn’t even seem insulted at her sureness that he wont shoot her, if anything the sigh he lets out is more like a “you could at least act like I would shoot you” it seemed like he thought he was willing to hurt Ivy if he had to, but isn’t really surprised to learn he was wrong

But this is just how I read all of this, I can’t be sure if he was shooting slow intentionally or if I am just missing something

[platonic-pals-punchout]

Epithet Erased (webshow & lite novel) | Ace Attorney (video game series & anime)

[This poll was made by silly mistake on the part of the tournament runner, who misread the bracket. Sorry! It won't count towards the overall tournament. Followers have voted to make Gio/Molly PPP's mascots if they win tho!]

Giovanni Potage & Molly Blyndeff:

1. THEY’RE SO SILLYYYYYYY i love them. they’re such a prime example of friendship with an age gap in media, which, i think needs to happen a bit more. i have friends older than me! i have friends younger than me! and also they’re just. goofy. silly 2. Would any friendship bracket truly be complete without this dynamic duo? She’s a serious an disillusioned elementary school student, resigned to her miserable lot in life after years of neglect and doing her family’s taxes. He’s a wacky and optimistic teenager turned supervillain, here to sweep her away from her abusive family. Together, they commit CRIMES! 3. She is an anxious child who has the power to dumb down noises or impacts to help her deal with the literal everything in her life, as she has to balance school and her family’s toy store, especially as her father and sister seem to prioritize their own selves and not care about the family as a whole. Molly is like 11 or something and has to do her family’s taxes! He is a villainous mastermind!…well, he says he is. In actuality, Giovanni is a captain in the Bonzai Blasters, with ambitions of being promoted to Vice Principal…or even Associate Justice or Valedictorian! (Yes. This is how that system is organized) But unlike the rest, he prioritizes the wellbeing of his minions above all else. He’s comfortable with his masculinity, as he knits for his minions and packs them all some soup in case they get hungry. Oh! He also has the power of soup. He can make soup, make steam of soup, and every 13th physical hit from him deals critical damage (that has nothing to do with soup. It’s just what he does). After a heist gone wrong, these two meet, and Giovanni adopts Molly as one of his minions (giving her the minion name “Beartrap”, on account of her bear hoodie. She likes bears). Together, they thwart/do a heist and steal a valuable amulet. Giovanni also distances Molly from the Banzais when the cops show up, so she will not have to worry about legal troubles. Not spoiling much about the book (Prison of Plastic, go read it), but Giovanni continues to stand up for Molly against her family, who continues to write her off. He tries to get her sister to connect with her and soften up. He can’t do much with the dad because he sucks. Giovanni makes sure Molly knows how cool she is as a person and that she doesn’t let herself be walked all over by other people. He helps her stand up for herself, and in turn, she helps him with crime.

Maya Fey & Phoenix Wright:

1. Quite frankly I don’t think they will win. They are constantly being tormented and experiencing the horrors and this poll would be no different. 2. they literally cannot die no matter what hell canon puts them through. fall off that bridge n cliff to a deathly boy! get kidnapped like 4 times girl! when she gets kidnapped like the first time, they had to make a new sprite for Phoenix coz he didn’t look devasted and depressed enough. Power of friendship though! and she is OKI! :) 3. The most iconic attorney and assistant pair in the series. Phoenix canonically ran onto a burning bridge to try to save Maya when she was in danger. His call with her got cut off once and he left the country to go make sure she was safe. She’s been kidnapped twice to be used as leverage against him and both times she was more worried about him than herself. She once jumped in front of a taser to try to protect him. He’s also defended her from murder accusations like four times. Their relationship defines the original game trilogy even more than the Wright-Edgeworth relationship does. Other Ace Attorney games wish they could replicate this dynamic. They got added to a fighting game as a single unit where they work together to fight. They both think they’re the reasonable one in this friendship, despite neither of them actually deserving that title.

Note: This blog is run & followed by aromantics. Insisting any pairs are ~actually romantic~ will not only cause you to be blocked on the spot, but you’ll out yourself as someone not safe to be queer around. No one wants to hear how stupid you look with those shipping goggles on.

[prince-liest]

love the way you explore Alastor's friendships but especially with his gal pals, which I feel like might get overlooked by a lot of people! thank you so much for the radiodiva fic. it hit me in all of my aroace feels and of course it's great to read more of Mimzy. you even threw in some Niffty (and a Rosie shoutout) that was sooo cute. truly the Al GalPal fic.

it's also super fun to compare Al's behavior with his female friends (and how much of that is informed by time period and those ideals) and how he behaves when boundaries are crossed with Vox in the 666 series. how much would you say is due to differences in power (overlord vs normal sinner) and gender perceptions? or was that something you were taking into consideration when writing?

Thank you so much! It's a really fun topic for me to explore because, as you said, those are definitely all things that I think about when I write about how Alastor relates to other people, especially people with the potential to become friends! I think it's power and gender.

This turned into a pretty long post, so: the rest is under the cut!

We definitely see in canon that Alastor has a different relationship with his female friends than he does with pretty much any male character, period. I think that his behavior in that sense is very much informed by the time period that he's from. Obviously he hasn't strictly retained '20s sensibilities (except maybe with regards to radio, haha), but I think he clearly puts some effort into presenting himself as a gentleman when women are involved in a way that he simply doesn't bother with when men are. He offers a certain amount of leeway and respect to characters like Niffty, Mimzy, Rosie, and even Charlie, who I personally think that he would claim as a friend but doesn't realize he may or may not be beginning to genuinely see as one. Honestly, the female character to get the least amount of leeway from him is Vaggie, and she's outright hostile to him on many occasions.

But... even with Vaggie, he's much nicer to her outright antagonism than he is to, say, Husk. He's still unkind when he prods her about Charlie's expectations in episode one, and I think he knows he has to maintain a veneer of decency with her that he doesn't with Husk, but I think from the way he expresses himself it's still telling that he seems more amused than irritated with her even when he's being a petty bitch about it.

He does have female friends across different power levels, and I think in each case there's a clear consideration to that aspect of the dynamic as well. He most likely owns Niffty's soul, and he gives Niffty an incredibly amount of leeway with his person and outright says that he admires her in a way. Mimzy is a sinner who runs to him for help, and he enables her behavior and attitude with fondness and, I think we can extrapolate, consistently comes through for her requests - he's also incredibly polite to her when he asks her not to, y'know, destroy the project he's currently investing so much time into. Rosie, on the other hand, is an overlord - and he still shows her a great deal of fondness, but I think it's also telling that their dialogue seems to imply that their relationship is very well-balanced by mutual favors.

And on that note, it's also not a coincidence that I tend to reach for Angel Dust, a very genderqueer character who does not personally perform traditional masculinity (and in fact puts quite a bit of effort into his feminine persona) as a member of the hotel crew that Alastor would be the most able to become friends of sorts with. Angel is, of course, also a sinner of a pretty low power level, and I think that underneath the external wildly different presentations, he and Alastor have a lot in common (namely on the topic of masking), but he's not the only character who masks around Alastor and compared to Vox or Lucifer, who are both powerful people and not particularly feminine, he's a lot higher on the "ease of friend potential" meter for Alastor.

The friendliest we see Alastor being with a male character in canon is with Zestial, whose general persona is very gentlemanly... but even then, I would call their attitude toward each other one of friendly posturing as coworkers who have an eye on each other, rather than genuinely friendly.

When I write Alastor dealing with Vox in 666: Live on Air! it's definitely with consideration to "How the hell would Alastor be more genuine, non-performative friends with an actual guy?" because, like... Vox isn't wrong when he says that he's the first dude that's earned the sheer amount of leeway that Alastor offers him, both physically and emotionally.

(Disclaimer I feel compelled to make: No, it's not because Vox is trans. Alastor straight up does not initially realize that, and even despite knowing it at the current point of the story, nothing about Vox's presentation actually reads as feminine to Alastor in any way. He's a softer touch with Angel Dust than Vox for a reason!)

What ends up happening is that Alastor... wants, even if it's largely subconscious, to behave with Vox as comfortably as he does with Rosie, Mimzy, and Niffty. But unfortunately, he runs into the issue of 1) his paranoid hindbrain is still regularly registering Vox as a power-hungry threat, at least in part due to Vox's actual previous behavior, and 2) he is honestly closer to Vox in some aspects than he is to his other friends because of the sheer amount of weird self-discovery they've gotten up to, which means that opening up the same way would be showing more vulnerability, and to a person that, frankly, Alastor doesn't feel like he has a veneer of gender role-dictated propriety to protect himself with. Especially since Vox is an overlord, and especially since a lot of the actual kinky shit that they get up to is predicated on Vox having abilities that the average sinner doesn't.

So when Mimzy crosses a boundary, Alastor accomodates her in whatever way is genuinely important to her, then gently corrects her and sets her on her way. This is just how Mimzy is, this is how their dynamic has been for a long time, and he does not register her as a threat. When Vox crosses a boundary... it's an attack, and if it's a serious enough one, then Alastor subscribes to the school of responses of nuclear proportions to dissuade any motherfucker from ever even thinking about trying again. See: the trail of dead overlord bodies left in his wake after his original descent into hell.

The turning point that leads him to make a deal to his slight but very actual disadvantage in Network 0666: No Signal is that Vox shows him some genuine upset and vulnerability. Vox has been vulnerable before this point, but he's generally been loud, obnoxious, pathetic, and over-the-top about it, and honestly often also just absolutely turned it into a sex thing. This is the first time that Vox managed, though entirely unintentionally, to find one of the heartstrings that is so much more accessible to characters like Mimzy, and accidentally tug on it. Alastor finds safety in the vulnerability of his friends, but he also likes being the powerful figure that provides those friends with help and protection, even in ways that might look like they're to his own detriment.

(Until, of course, they end up actually being to his detriment - see: Adam - at which point he loses his shit about it. But, uh, his ego makes it hard for him to see when that might actually happen!)

Anyway, this ended up a long post that could probably have been less rambling, but I hope it answered your question!

[adracat]

GWitch ep 19 thoughts

Every episode is a kick in the teeth with candy boots. A sweet misery you've known like no other. This episode was no different and I relished today's destruction as Mio and Prospera take center stage

That's a loaded statement if I've ever seen one. Really enjoyed this brief intro segment. We get Guel's thoughts on Kenanji; uninspired and suspicious, which are a vast change from his once admiration of the man. Guel also seems surprisingly chill about returning to Earth, but cryptically comments he wants to check the situation there and aid in negotiations. I like how Mio and him have fallen into this friendly rapport after everything. We'd like to see him apologize formally ofc, but it's not necessary for Mio. She's focused on greater concerns than the petty school days of Asticassia

Meanwhile, Suletta is a wreck. She's completely fallen apart after her mother and sister dumped her in space like hot garbo. She can't even plaster on a smile and lie to herself any longer. Earth House just thinks she's upset about the break up, so she isn't confiding in anyone at all. Suletta.exe has stopped working :(

Hilariously, Counselor Secilia has decided to make Martin her servant after listening to his confessional. It's great they make a distinct parallel to Miorine here, with Martin explaining he thought the best way to protect Earth House was to give up Nika. The show is filled with instances of people taking away another person's agency in the misguided belief they're doing 'what's best'. So good!

Real Elan finally gets more dialogue and he makes an excellent point, for once. The quickest and dirtiest way into Benerit's graces would be to forcefully suppress the earthian protests. A gundam, let alone one like Aerial, is a powerful statement of supremacy after all. Shaddiq is convinced Miorine would never allow it, and he's partly right. She wouldn't if she was the one truly calling the shots.

Feng is so cool for a spook. She successfully preys upon Belmeria's cowardice and gains her begrudging compliance. Really enjoyed the dynamic here at this little tea party. It was almost like a date 😳 Love me two older women with some tension. Is this the newest gwitch ship to take flight?

I love how Mio recognized these are peaceful protesters immediately. It's another instance of her demonstrating empathy on a greater level than she once did. Her initial ignorant comments about Earthians in cour 1 seem a distant memory, and much of it has to do with her exposure to Earth House. If not for them and Suletta, her pov would be just as narrow as every other spacian's.

And it's off to a terrible start lmao. I think Mio expected an uphill battle but those are some steep demands. A worldwide ban on spacians is unfeasible but absolutely warranted considering everything the spacians have done. Mio doesn't quite know how to counter, and it's so funny Guel left her here without help after previously saying he doesn't trust her diplomacy skills. I doubt he'd be much help tbh, but I guess he trusts her more than he said? Which is, uh, somewhat appreciated? It's the thought that counts.

Sad widow moment. Norea grieving Sophie's death and expressing her fear of death explicitly has been a long time coming. 5lan bearing witness as the floodgates open and she reveals they share this core dread? God this hit so good. You can't help but feel for these kids. Nika continues to watch on in bafflement as the drama unfolds. When is she gonna leave this level of purgatory?? Only Okouchi knows...

OMG, I AM SLAIN. Defeated. This sad husk of a girlboss misses her (ex) wife so much. Normal people would just have a wallet photo or a locket, but she's reduced to watching this goofy ass promo wistfully. I would find it hilarious if it wasn't so sad. It does give her the strength to continue negotiations so that's neat

More importantly, it reminds her of GUND's ideals and the people who've banded together because of that dream; Earth House. She cleverly points out that fulfilling their demands would also mean removing earthians from space, but she won't because they're her partners at GUND-ARM. Her showing them the medical achievements they've already made together was smart and tips the scales in her favor

I keep saying I love Mio but I really do. She's inspired to grasp the presidency for her own goals, rather than just as a tool for Prospera. She found a path of peace in spite of everything against her. It's bittersweet to know, in a kinder world, this would be the end of her struggles. But Prospera won't be satisfied with peace.

This shot was gold. Suletta raiding the fridge like an unwashed raccoon is perfect on so many levels. We finally get unbound Suletta too. Ugh she looks so good 😭

LOOK AT HER!! Babygirl. She looks like such a sad scruffy mutt here. I love it 🥹 Adored Earth House supporting her in her hour of need and giving her a boost with goat milk too. Really cements the rebirth imagery they had in the last episode.

Martin decides to slink home too and reveals everything going on with Nika. This bit from Lilique says it all. There are times when you are left with only so many options. While you may not choose the objectively best path, you can only pick what YOU feel is best. Miorine, Martin, Aerial. Even Delling and Prospera (Perhaps DoF and Shaddiq as well) It fits all the way across the cast.

I didn't expect to get the Shaddiq real name drop from this shakedown, but I'll take it. Kenanji may be a cop with blood on his hands, but he's a keen one. We learned that 'Prince' is a longstanding nickname and it implicates Shaddiq wholly in the terrorist attacks. 'Whoopsie, all my nefarious plans undone by one kid's rambling!'

(I also think the implication was Shaddiq or Jeru Ogul rather, is the 'heir apparent' to Ochs Earth virtue of his dead family. Not entirely certain tbh)

Looks like Guel will be Asticassia bound next episode along with Kenanji. No idea why Kenanji had to tag along but I guess Mio has enough of an escort. Let's hope this detour leads to Suletta using the Schwarzette! Fingers crossed

You saw it here, everybody. Prospera shot first! I'll admit I didn't fully expect her to go this route but it makes sense. I anticipated her gaining Mio support somehow, but she just cut the BS and said let's do this dirty. Controlling Earthian artillery to mask her intentions and provide an excuse is devious and brilliant

Destroying DoF's secret stache of gundams even more so. She really cut Shaddiq's plan for a cold war at the knees and Guel/Kenanji are on track to expose his duplicity entirely. He'll be lucky to not be jailed let alone president of anything. It's amazing that everything works out for Prospera no matter how many risks she takes or gambles made. Lady Luck must love her nonsense as much as the audience

Cut back to Bel and Feng, their date did not end as well as I hoped. While Bel spilled some details about Quiet Zero, Prospera's second hunts her down and interrupts this powow. Can't risk QZ leaking to the corpo spooks after all. We did learn that SAL is not as unified or well intentioned as we might have thought. Their high council was revealed to be backing Ochs Earth of all corps. Feng seemed to be an outlier in yet another shady corpo-controlled faction. I'll miss her, but maybe she somehow escaped this dire situation? I won't hold my breath. RIP Feng, you were a real one!

Elan Prime seems so smug to be right, even if it means their horse in this race has some real competition. He really is a little shit just like 5lan. That MS shot though. Damn evocative. War journalists eat your heart out. It's visual reference too, I believe?

This is the funniest thing he could've said. Shaddiq is malding just like a pathetic incel. Remember when everyone thought he pulled mad game because he's surrounded by women? But the sad reality is he's the most maidenless person in the solar system. The best outcome tbh.

Beyond the laughs, this line speaks so much about how he views Miorine. He views her little better than a prize only he's deserving of; a 'pure' princess to match his crusading prince. He repeatedly disregards her agency, seen in episode 9 when he acts like Suletta controls Mio and here when he blames Guel for what's happening on Earth. He's such a salty little worm.

Finally, we're left with Suletta and Earth House as they react to the chaos. Suletta recognizes instantly Miorine's innocence and her mother's culpability. This was why Aerial sent her away. This was what everyone is trying to shield her from. It was a moment of clarity I hadn't expected, but a very welcome one. Hopefully, this means she'll be spurred into action now that Mio is in very real danger. Schwarzette time? We can dream~

That next episode is incredibly ominous though. End of Hope? Considering they have that promo where GUND-ARM/earth house are the ray of hope... yikes. Let's hope I'm just reading into things and it's not that grim

Edit* additional musings:

A segment was deleted somehow so here it is

Miorine... You know, I've seen people having a bit of schadenfreude at her expense. 'she's so stupid, ofc this happened!' - that flavor of criticism. My counter to this is what could she have realistically done? She was strong-armed into this agreement and manipulated onto Earth. She dared to imagine a peaceful solution based on ideals she slowly grew to believe wholeheartedly. This isn't her fault, much as she thinks otherwise. I can see her willfully remaining on earth to try and correct this atrocity. Girl needs a big hug from her wife ;-;

[musicawizard]

just watched a clip of the final fifteen (GOs2) again by passing and ended up balling my eyes out. a literal year has passed and it still hits me as if i were seeing it for the first time - which is, in a way, incredible that it still evokes that level of reaction, but leaves me pondering once again with the concept of grief and how it continuously takes it’s hold on you.

no matter how many times i look at the scene - with different perspectives, interpretations, pov’s - it does not take away from the devastation of the situation, the emotions that we, the audience, experience alongside the characters, and the utter power and importance of storytelling (how our voices hold power, influence, and can make an impact)

It doesn’t take away the fact that we can’t change the course of the events, even if we wanted to (and believe me, all we want is for our favorite Angel and Demon to get their well-deserved happy ending); and we have to make peace with the fact that waiting is a part of the journey - both in ours (as the audience) and in the lens of their relationship. It could be argued that the concept of “Waiting” has been a 6000+ year foundational element to Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship, even if we aren’t looking too deep into that aspect. Waiting for change, waiting for the day where they could truly be together, to choose one another without complications, without fear - you name it all.

And that in itself is also full of grief, isn’t it? The drive and impact of fear. That unknown territory, everything that can be missed and lost due to waiting? Everything that you risk losing, everything you do lose? The way our actions can be governed so by its influence, and we may not even be aware of it either.

and, as per usual, i cant help but think about how special Crowley and Aziraphale’s dynamic is, because it’s not just made up from one concrete thing/applicable fandom trope. it’s all so, well, ineffable (<3), and it really reminds me of how special it is to be impacted by characters and storylines like this.

There is so much love put into stories like this, and the fact that we can feel the collective grief because we are deeply impacted by it all - is pretty special

-

the point of all this rambling? not quite sure myself, but

- grief is so intricate

- i want crowley and aziraphales happy ending so bad right now, but part of that waiting is also making peace with the fact that there is grief written in between the lines, and it’s something that just comes with the process

- im rambling so ok byee 🫡)

[ladysisyphus]

Okay! Now that we have finished it, I would like to take this moment to recommend the Chinese drama The Disguiser.

It is a must-watch if you liked Nirvana in Fire, because of course it's the same director and a significant chunk of that same cast, except all playing significantly different roles with different dynamics.

For normal people, you should give it a go if you like:

spies

suits

spies in suits

the amazing east-meets-west aesthetic of late 1930s Shanghai

international incidents

acknowledgements that non-marriage-trajectory relationships can still be important and intimate

minimal unfounded valorization of heterosexuality (like, I can't really explain this one without spoilers, but trust me)

but when the heterosexuality happens, it's cute? so you can't really begrudge it for happening

pretty men getting tortured horrifically

some amazing female villains, like seriously, most of the main bad guys are ladies and they're powerhouses

transparently hilarious try-hard patriotic shit

the inherent eroticism of having someone who loves you shoot you with a sniper rifle

did I mention the suits? because damn

an ending that is satisfying and not relentlessly, senselessly tragic

For perverts, let me sell the show to you like this:

大姐. Elegant and terrifying. Will make you kneel and hit you with a flogger, but only because she loves you. Mommy? Sorry. (Not sorry.)

大哥. Executive homosexual. Will bend you over a bench and paddle you in the foyer, but only because da jie told him to.

弟弟. Should not, from what I understand of the book (and the musical???), be the main character, except he's Hu Ge, so of course he's the main character. Spoiled little gremlin. Everybody's baby. Has a real weird daddy thing going with a very bad man, if you're into that. Bisexual slut powers activated, but only patriotically.

弟弟 #2. Adopted when he was ten. Just like a member of the family except when he's not. Faithful right hand and subordinate of da ge, whom he tops so hard. (But seriously, they're in love.) (No, really. They're basically married.) (I sense the source material has him a little saltier about his station in life, but in the show, he never shows an inkling of being anything but perfectly content doing what he does.) Sultry baritone. Will hold you down so da ge can spank you.

And I'm going to say that pervert shit runs strong throughout what little fandom there is, at least as AO3 would have it:

Which is what happens if you include everything tagged for the Disguiser. If you filter it by English-language works only...

And some of those that say they're in English aren't even in English! They're just pretending to be in English! What I'm saying is, if you feel like making kinky things for a bitty little fandom, this is the place.

Now! If I've sold you on it, here is how to watch it:

Option 1: KissAsian. Upside: Subtitled by the same Viki team that did the Nirvana in Fire subtitles, so they're absolutely readable and like 98% comprehensible. Downside: Slightly sketchy site.

Option 2: YouTube. Upside: It's YouTube; different translation that's also perfectly okay; hardcoded Chinese subs. Downside: Whoever formatted the hardcoded English subs did not put anything behind the plain white text, so any time the English text appears over a bright background (which is curiously often), the words disappear.

Also there's a musical??? that came out in 2021????? If I find a link to a full production of that, I'll come back here and update. The clips I've seen of it look great, though.

Look, this is not a show for everyone. It's got some gore and torture and onscreen injury that's pretty disturbing. It portrays the truly awful realities of Japanese occupation of China during this period. The rah-rah communism! bits are at best hokey and at worst distasteful. It can be slow at times and way too condensed at others. If you're not familiar with this period of history, it's tough to keep track of all the various resistance factions. Because of the spycraft and double-agent business, it can be legitimately tricky to remember who's lying to whom about what at any given moment.

Nonetheless, pervert shit aside, it's a solid story about a complicated quartet of siblings who love and also injure one another, and all the people who love/hate them. There are plenty of genuinely tense moments. The hairstyling and costuming are perfectly on point. The actors turn in some stellar performances. As I alluded to in my bullet points, it has an ending that includes some tragic elements, but not so many that it'll sink all your ships and ruin your day. And I tell you what, this show is legitimately horny for everyone in this car:

So if you watch it, let me know what you think!

[lemonhemlock]

I saw a comment that really hit the nail on the head regarding a lot of the fandom in both ASOIAF/HOTD spaces. Basically, this comment said that a lot of Dany/Rhaenyra/Targ stans don't understand that targ women can both be oppressed and also oppressors. They literally view Westeros in this lens that the Worst Thing That Can Ever Happen to someone is misogyny, and yes GRRM's ahistorical levels of misogyny imbued in his work don't help here, and that nothing else can come close lol. They don't really get class dynamics, lesser nobles, etc. When you're the crown princess of the realm you have immense power, but also responsibility which, yes, includes not openly cuckolding your spouse and having obvious bastards you try to put into the succession lol. They very much think that every targ women could do whatever she wanted with her immensely privileged and pampered position as a royal and if anyone says anything, well, it's misogyny. It's a deeply unannounced, ahistorical way to look at this series.

Your comment in one of your other anons where you said 'are you really sexually liberated if you are causing pain to others in your vicinity' was funny to me because targ stans unironically would say 'yes.' They are stuck in this modern sensibility that romantic/sexual freedom is the number one civil liberty and anything a character does in pursuit of it is fine, even at the expense of others, and if anything bad happens as a result, well that's just the Patriarchy's fault. It's a fundamental difference in thinking that I don't think can ever be bridged because they are incapable of not projecting modern values. They truly believe that targ women can be privileged, pampered, politically and socially powerful, yet not be beholden to any of the traditions, duties, or responsibilities even with the most, like, basic decorum expected of royal and any calling out of this behavior is just misogyny lmao.

It's just so stupid lmao. Imagine if people had said that Queen Elizabeth II, one of the most rich, powerful, and privileged women in the world for literal decades was 'oppressed' because she couldn't have obvious affairs or take official mistresses or boytoys and have bastard children like her male forefathers did and blame that on misogyny lmao. It's literally the same thought process but these people cannot put two and two together if their lives depended on it.

^^^^ you did it, anon. you condensed targ stans to their essence 😅

some of them act as if being monarch should mean doing exactly what you want at all times and any kind of suggestion that immense privilege comes at the price of great responsibility automatically translates to misogyny. god forbid we put some restriction on "absolute power" and make it less absolute.

also in regards to sexual freedom and their inability to imagine a life without it. you live in the 21st century!! not only that you have recognised rights enshrined by law, but you also have modern medicine!! you have antibiotics, contraceptives, safe abortion, emergency services, surgeons, you can book an appointment with a doctor if you're feeling unwell etc. look me in the eye and tell me that if all of those were taken away overnight you'd continue to be your sexually liberated self and risk dying painfully of an STD in the name of love.

of course there are religious and sexist dimensions to restricting women's sexuality, there is no point in pretending otherwise, but who would really want their spouse to risk infecting them with whatnot in the name of sexual freedom? it's equally unhelpful in pretending there's not an aspect of public health in encouraging behaviours like chastity, monogamy and being faithful to your spouse.

again, this is not to say that it was all good and proper to be like that and what a time of pure morals we left behind in the olden days. it's to say that those times truly sucked for a lot of people, sometimes because of reasons they had no control over, and that they often had to choose between options that all sucked in some way

[eerna]

okay wait actually now that we're on the book-series-strengths-and-shortcomings-train what do you love most about tlt and tlc? (multiple answers bonus)

HOHO A COMBO

TLC: 1) Friendship not being secondary to romance!! The series' main theme is love. In the grand finale the big bad taunts the MC about love... but she doesn't use her boyfriend, no, she uses her best friend. This is made even more powerful because by all means, the best friend was meant to be the secondary love interest by all rules of 2012 YA, but NO he is JUST A FRIEND and it is not treated as "something less". 2) Team building!!!! Oh my god!!!! Building onto point 1, but it needs its own point. Rarely does a fictional team of main characters feel as natural as the Rampion Crew. This is even more impressive because the 9 of them don't appear in the same room until the end of the series. Even though the team consists of 4 couples and 1 single, everyone has a dynamic with everyone, they have arcs that aren't tied exclusively to their partner but also someone else on the team, they interact with each other freely. 3) The wide range of characters! I am a sucker for a "team of girls totally different from each other saves the world" setup, and TLC does it perfectly. I think this is one of the best YA series out there because of how much it empowers different kinds of girls. The guys are also easy to tell apart even at first read, and I sooo appreciate that at least one of them isn't conventionally attractive (anymore). 4) It's so funny. I love these books and how funny they are. They hit the perfect balance between a fun teen adventure and a heartfelt emotional story. 5) This is one of the least "Here's what REALLY happened" series I've read. A bunch of times major things influence characters' thoughts and opinions, but those things are fake and never revealed as fake, OR the characters never learn some big things that could change their opinions at all. Seeing how impacted Winter was when she realized Levana truly loved her father, when I KNOW what really happened, always shakes me to my core - and Winter never learns the truth!!! Everyone who could explain what really happened is dead!! Winter will forever go on thinking at least her father had a marriage of love!!! And why should she learn the truth, really, it would only serve as yet another sad plot twist that traumatizes her even deeper. 6) Levana. I am not usually a villain girlie, but Levana absolutely slaps. She is simultaneously disgusting, horrible, and pitiful. Usually if I like the villain it's because he has something smart to say, but Levana doesn't, I can't relate to her or see things from her perspective... But the leads can! Levana seems to carry all the trauma and complexes of our leads, but she crumbled under them, showing Cinder what she might have become if not for her loved ones.

TLT: 1) Isn't afraid of people not getting it!! Do you understand how refreshing this is to see in a mainstream popular series??? The book doesn't act like you are an idiot, it acts like you are some sort of a genius, and you feel illiterate until you realize NO ONE got it the first time around and you're gonna have to do lots of rereading and thinking to get it. This makes it impossible to get into for some people, but so what. So what!!! What matters is that it rewards those who stay and put in the work!! 2) Absolutely bonkers insane relationships. No one can be "just a friend" in these, we need 1000 different layers of trauma and tenderness surrounding everyone. 3) Pathetic women. These books are the epitome of all the worst parts of yourself laid bare. These characters act out the most shameful, horrible memories and impulses of your heart, all the while spouting poetics about the entire situation. And it is pure catharsis!! It is so rare to see female characters depicted this pathetic without it being torture porn. 4) Writing style. It's the perfect example of how realism doesn't matter if you're good with your words. No one in these books talks like a real life person, but they are all distinct from each other and filled with personality. Every book has several lines that have the power to reduce me a to a sobbing mess just from hearing them. Just. The writing style is so good that I even enjoy reading INTERVIEWS with the author, she has a way of speaking that keeps you engaged and makes her sound so smart. 5) Each book is its own thing, keeping you on your toes, but they all still feel cohesive. It also means that even if the final book sucks, I won't have any hangups about it, since I will just be able to reread the first 3. Honestly even if AtN never comes out, I won't feel like I wasted any time, because the books are so fantastic and so worth reading that the end of the journey doesn't even matter to me that much - and if you've been here a while, you'll know what a radical statement that is for me. It is so nice to relax and enjoy the ride instead of stressing over my thoughts and opinions aging badly.

[miivrs]

talking about my faves, my wording will not be scholarly or intelligent rather completely zany and incomprehensible

god i LOVE the entire junkyard killer arc + the relationship between malcolm and john and just how complex it is to me. there was SO much going on and every scene, line, etc. burns a hole in my retinas. watkins was our first non “villain of the week” and that’s probably why im so attached to him, but god i love that we really get to see and understand why he does what he does. and he’s smart , I LIKE THAT. i like that he makes malcolm really truly struggle. i love their little cat-and-mouse type thing. john makes malcolm go through hoops and plays him like a stupid little fiddle and i love it. he makes malcolm’s brain (and body) hurt.

and the dialogue they share on the phone/in the basement is AN ABSOLUTE FEAST FOR ME and i love reading way too much into it. seeing how the power dynamics flip LIKE FOUR TIMES is just. UGH. their first call where things are mostly neutral, their second call where things get CRAZY, then FIVE MINUTES LATER their first face-to-face and john traps malcolm, their THIRD call where john now realizes he can manipulate malcolm and finish his mission, and then we get an ENTIRE EPISODE of what im 1000% sure is watkins leaving a breadcrumb trail JUST so he can get malcolm alone(remember guys, john is actually smart), which leads me to ALONE TIME. THE WHOLE EPISODE. and now they’re both fighting for dominance, malcolm with his new knowledge and watkins with his. well, aggressions LMAO.

their meeting was totally by chance (watkins definitely says otherwise), and i wonder what things would be like if malcolm had maybe met watkins under different circumstances (like NOT breaking to a junkyard to look for an abandoned station wagon because, lets face it malcolm, you broke in) because during their first call watkins seems..fond? of the whole junkyard meeting..he even SAYS he doesn’t want to hurt malcolm, so maybe at this point he’s over it?? so i wonder, if malcolm wasn’t a killer catcher and let watkins do his thing, would that have been the end of it? would either of them seek out the other? but that would be BORING im glad they decide to chase eachother its fun.

jesus they make my brain hurt. alone time shows us how they both try to hit jabs at eachother and stay superior, and really no one’s winning lmao. malcolm’s eating john alive via psychoanalysis and john has malcolm STABBED and CHAINED TO THE FUCKING FLOOR. oh i love them…

now, i have many MANY personal thoughts about them, but specifically john and his side of the relationship. the things he says/does to malcolm feels obsessive, and characters like that are always my favorite to dissect. hes so goddamn manipulative and its great. probably once of my favorite things about this arc is when he just ABANDONS HIS MISSION???? (M: “Force me to atone to my sins?” J: “I’m finished with that work.”) and for what??? just one guy? because this one guy who stabbed you when he was 10? we already know that john actually does not have a deep grudge against malcolm for that (or maybe he does…) so why bother trying to LEGITIMATELY CONVERT SOMEONE when you could have just killed them???

because he needs malcolm. like how he needed martin. (sort of but now in a cool new fresh way)

SIRENS ARE BLAAAARING IN MY HEAD. who wrote this dialogue you need to be shot dead (positive). malcolm not afraid to call him out and say “hey you’re a little bit of a codependent freak aren’t you??” also the “I don’t care what you think.” “Of course you do.” DONT. TALK. TO. ME..

why does he need malcolm?? because he’s the nearest target? because he’s the next best thing to martin? because they share such a complex connection spanning 20 years that he can’t left go of? WE MAY NEVER FUCKING KNOW..and mannnnnn dont even get me started on this shit..

this is about YOU and ME and that fucking scar. and them he gives him AN IDENTICAL ONE (probably much less painful but still) god WHAT was the POINT of that. and to that i say it is because watkins feels the need to deepen their connection (or he’s just fucking kooky but thats boring) and now they have matching scars wow so best friends core now they’re intertwined (even more than they already are..) fate (by the hand of god) brought them together and now he needs to make sure it stays that way.

and then we get this..

“Face it, you’re just like me. You judge, you hunt.” oh my GOD im gonna be SICK……… “mick hes just misreading malcolm’s character because he’s narcissistic” im gonna stop you right there because this is my blog and john watkins is my character ever since the pson writers made him complex and then threw him in a damn box (which is another scene i will ramble about at another point) if you use your brain that is literally the bare bones of what malcolm does, what defines his job. john has found the median, the simile, the connection (the one that he NEEDS so he can excuse himself and his actions and also to cope)

AND THEN..AND THEN…….

during this scene AND I SWEAR IM NOT TWEAKING as malcolm is trying his last ditch attempts and stopping watkins from actually murdering his family we SEE JOHN HESITATE..we see it i swear to god. i swear god for just a fleeting moment he actually considers what malcom is saying. but alas. he says “if i get help i’ll lose my sparkle” and goes anyway…

and then the fucking box scene, our very last look at watkins.

i hadn’t noticed it the first time i watched it because i was so hyped but around my second or third rewatch i caught it and heard it and physically shriveled up and died. our very last scene of him and (to me) its GUT WRENCHING. malcolm kept to his word and locked him up in the dark. but i find it so peculiar that watkins is crying. because, if anything, wouldn’t he be pissed?? kicking and screaming and rolling around in that damn thing? makes me wonder…what might have happened in the time between when malcolm wallops him with a fucking crowbar and when jessica reunites with him. what did malcolm say or do??? malcolm bright youre an awful sly little manipulator and you’re damn good at it and yes you use it for “good” but the way you did a 180 on those power dynamics. malcolm you are dangerous..

and that’s my extremely unnecessary deep dive and extreme analysis of john watkins and his relationship with our beloved malcolm bright. watkins really is one of my favorite characters that i feel could have been so cool if they had just given him a little more time or something like that. they are so complex to me in ways i haven’t even mentioned in this text post/probably forgot while i was typing this but i really wish we could see more of them even though what would happen. lots could happen, that’s what. now here’s my pitch for season 3 that revolves around just them where-

[ceo-of-kimona]

The hook of the ship.

So sure, they have a dynamic. These girls have chemistry and they can hit it off with each other consistently, but in order for a ship to go from “cute” status to a tier beyond it needs to have a certain it factor. It needs a powerful hook to it that kicks it up a notch, something that is not only wholly unique to the dynamic but powerful and raw and emotional. In short, it needs a certain unique spice that no other ship with these characters has.

And boy, does Kimona have spice in droves.

Among its many unique and powerful elements, this one is by far my favorite. In short: essentially Ramona’s most common response to a bad situation is to run away as fast as she can, and Kim’s greatest fear is abandonment. She still harbors damage from Scott leaving her without a word in high school.

Do you feel those gears turning?

I’m honestly absolutely baffled by the stunning lack of Kimona fics that feature angst, since these two seem built for angst from the ground up. While I love the fluff, I subsist on it, I feel as if there is a void of potential that absolutely NEEDS to be filled.

Imagine it. Ramona and Kim finally get that relationship together, Kim can stop pining (ha ha ha) and actually be happy for fucking once. We get some fluff or whatever, the girls being cute with each other (believe me they have capacity to be cute with each other) and all that.

Then, something horrible happens: a terrible misunderstanding, a really really bad mistake on one of their part, a sudden disaster that catches them completely off guard, whatever. Their life is flip-turned upside-down. And Ramona sees the fucked up situation, sees the world crumbling around her, and does the only thing that she truly knows how to do. She runs. She runs away from Kim as fast as she can; what else can she do? She’s ran every other time. Why is this any different? This is just what she does, who she is.

So, Ramona runs away like she always does, no surprise there. While her running away has always hurt the person she’s running away from, Kim is different. Ever since high school with Scott she has had a stunted ability to share her true emotions, somehow even more so than the rest of that cast. After being abandoned by Scott, she has kept up her walls to prevent herself from ever being hurt again like that. Then, she meets Ramona, she feels her walls fall all over again. Sure it’s tough, but eventually it all works out. All of that emotional rawness and vulnerability was all worth it and now she can open up. Now she can relax. Then boom. Before she knows it, Ramona leaves her without a word. Just like Scott did. The woman she loved, the first woman she ever loved, a light of her life that was far more than the high school crush that Scott was, is now gone.

She ran away, only leaving a note saying to not try and find her.

Needless to say, this would fucking break Kim. The ultimate punishment from the universe to her for even daring to try and open up to someone.

She would be positively catatonic. It would take months for her to even leave the house! Her entire world has crumbled around her. Everything she built, everything she fought for, it was all gone. The abandonment issues she finally worked past with Scott were now back in double thanks to her and now nobody is left that understands her like Ramona did.

Think about Ramona too, what about her? This would be her essentially succumbing to her nature once again. But this time she wouldn’t be able to justify it as “an asshole guy who she was right to dump” no this was Kim Pine, the girl she had known for years. She knows about her abandonment issues, she knows about her fears of just being left alone again, she knows all of it. She was the first to truly know about it. Yet she still wasn’t able to resist her impulses and she ran away anyway, fully knowing how much it would hurt Kim.

That is the potential of this ship, one we are still yet to truly understand.

[everythingbap]

📰📸 View of the Arts: Bang Yongguk: A Fiery Return to the London Stage A/N: posted on 241101

Bang Yongguk moves like a flame, his aura alive with passion and purpose. Every time he steps on stage, even with songs like I Remember [yes, yes that’s one of my favourite songs] from 2011, he breathes new life into his music, each note more powerful than the last. To witness his journey from a young, determined teenager to the man he has become is like watching a river carve its path through stone – steady, uncompromising, and beautiful. Seeing his career evolve fills me with a deep sense of pride as his artistry truly reflects the passion and soul he invests in everything he does.

Yongguk has found a kindred spirit in Europe, particularly in the heart of London, where music flows like the River Thames. Camden has become a cherished destination for his performances, filled with the sounds of jazz, rock, and the beats of hip-hop and K-pop. It’s an ideal setting for an artist like Yongguk, who loves experimenting with various genres.Bang Yongguk at Dingwalls / Image © Maggie Zhu for View of the Arts

Our first encounter with Yongguk as a solo artist was in 2019 at the Underworld, a venue steeped in history and artistry. Fast forward to 2023, and we were thrilled to experience him again, this time at Dingwalls. As fate would have it, we found ourselves returning to Dingwalls once more. This venue, with its intimate atmosphere and rich musical legacy, is a perfect stage for talents like Yongguk, who have the power to satisfy even the most demanding concertgoers.

Let’s not forget, Dingwalls saw its fair share of legends pass through its doors, from the iconic Oasis and Blur to the legendary The Ramones, Coldplay, and the one and only Foo Fighters. It is a sanctuary of sound that hosts the best of the best, and on October 20th, we witnessed Yongguk’s magic once again. 

It all began with DJ’s intense set – and   I truly mean intense! He undeniably set the house on fire even before Yongguk appeared on stage. And when Yongguk did, he brought even more heat with his superb performance.

Yongguk delivered a dynamic mix of old and new tracks, kicking off his set with the 2022 single RACE. Dressed in his signature black and sporting a fresh hairstyle, he “injected” the song with such explosive energy that the entire room was ready to go wild. Together with his DJ, he flared up the stage from the first beat, and no matter how he entered, once he was on stage, he simply owned it. 

Yongguk’s first full-length self-titled album, BANGYONGGUK, is one of a kind, so there was no surprise that the artist decided to include Xie Xie in the setlist too. During his first MENT, he addressed his fans with sincere energy: “What’s up everyone, I’m Bang Yongguk. I’m finally back in London – I’ve really missed you. It feels incredible to be here with all of you again. Thank you, always, for standing by my side.”Bang Yongguk at Dingwalls / Image © Maggie Zhu for View of the Arts

Ride or Die from Yongguk’s mini-album The Colors of Love, released last year, was, and still is, a great hip-hop track that displays both his singing and rapping. And as the red stage lights washed over the crowd, everyone felt like part of the experience. His fans, loyal as ever, became an essential part of the performance.

Yongguk also performed tracks like IXLU and NUMB from his 2024 release EP 3as well as OFFOfffrom the 2022 EP 2. Once again, the lighting worked in his favour, perfectly complementing the mood of each song allowing him to deliver a performance that was both powerful and emotionally impactful.

In his next MENT, he expressed his appreciation towards his fans once more and fondly mentioned his former B.A.P members, sharing his hope to one day perform together with them in London.  

I Remember, one of his earliest solo projects, hit differently. Released in 2011, this track, featuring Yang Yo-seob, took me on a nostalgic trip down memory lane, filled with unfiltered lyrics and energy. Even in this early solo release, Yongguk demonstrated that his lyricism has always been a central part of his artistry.

Yongguk also included HIKIKOMORI + AM 4:44, Up, UFO, YAMAZAKI, and BUSS IT DOWN in his setlist – and what a powerful performance it was! Then came MOVIMIENTO from his EP 3, where he fully embraced the dancefloor – the stage – powered by a club beat driving every moment of the track. 

If you thought that was the full set, you’d be mistaken. Yongguk gave the audience even more, performing five additional songs, including BAD and Green, before closing the night with Ride or Die, MOVIMIENTO, and Orange Drive. With each track, he painted an intimate portrait of his journey – at times raw and rebellious, at times reflective and nostalgic. It must also be pointed out that Yongguk’s artistic range is impressive, making him one of the most exciting artists of his generation. The energy was superb, leaving us all longing for his triumphant return to London!

Rating:

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Written by Maggie Gogler

Featured image © Maggie Zhu for View of the Arts