#[ oKAY SRSLY THAT WAS -NOT- MY INTENTION

[lunaetis]

me : i want my muses to be happy ! also me after plotting with them : ANGST. ANGST. MORE ANGST.

[darkbluekies]

You:

Me: *dying pigeon noises*

Noooooooo but srsly imagine a mother brings candy for her sick child and for the other children too. And since nurse!darling is such a sweet, innocent person and the child's favourite nurse, she gets candy too after happily helping the mom handing out the sweets first. 😂😭

During lunch in Dr. Kry's office, she told him about the wholesome moment. He listened intently and smiled about the great moment she had during her shift. She was so cute, provided with a pure heart of gold which never failed to impress him from time to time. But once she had eaten her lunch, she grabbed the popsicle as a sweet treat for herself (after all, she had eaten her all her veggies).

Dr. Kry had to inner slap himself in order to manage not looking at his darling right now, a blush creeping down his now hot face. He tried to remain cool and slighty shifts in his seat while his brain was screaming. Forcing to look away, his eyes were darting to the furthest corners of his office room. Nurse!darling however noticed his rising nervousness and caught him stealing a glance to her popsicle in her mouth.

"Are you okay?" Her honey-sweet voice filled the awkward silence in his office. He clears his throat, fumbling with his tie around, as a faint hope to breath better. "Yes, I'm fine", he manages to squeeze his answer through his lips. But he couldn't help himself looking again at his nurse. Her lips were... so soft.

She gave him a worried look, mindlessly rolling the goddamn candy in her mouth that was nearly giving him stroke. He could tell her brain gears started to turn. Her thinking face made his spiraling thoughts even more worse and primal instincts started to flood his mind. No... focus.

"Oh. OH, I get it know!"

"WHAT?!" His head snaps to her, so fast in fact he almost gave himself a neck strain. His icy blue eyes are wide open in shock. How could she-? No... Oh no no no no no no no no no no no!!!

The blonde was about to defend himself, that he didn’t meant it like that. But before he could utter his first words he was met with a beautiful smile that instantly took his breath away and flabbergasted him. The nurse turned around, fishing another popsicle from her pocket and handing it to him.

"A sweet treat for the hard working doctor too!~ I did not forget you!", she sing-song to him, her smile now growing bigger. He could swear her body was illuminating the room because she happened to be a walking sun. He wordlessly stared at the popsicle in her small hand, slowly taking it with a tender smile and pressing a shy "thanks" from his mouth. His heart was beating up to his ears, now his face crimson red of shame, lovely embarrassment, filled with mortified adoration as her amiable words stuck to him.

Gosh, you are soo lovely!

That mf popsicle knows whats up

I lowkey may have drawn other stuff but they are mainly crack too lol

Help😵‍💫😵‍💫 i love this so much omg😵‍💫😵‍💫

now i feel like i have to write my input for the scenario BUT HEY YOU WROTE THE NURSE READER WE TALKED ABOUT!!!! 😆😆😆

The drawing is so funny QND THE POPSICLE 🥹🥹 Why is it sweating...? Please show the crack ones too I beg youuuuu

[stxrrynxghts]

Okay so, recently there was a huge kaand. As y'all know, I usually post incorrect quotes or my rewatching series of Star Plus Mahabharata. Now someone took my posts and blew them out of proportion. I have blocked them, yes, not because I'm afraid, but because I don't want any stress. I get easily affected by this stuff, and I don't wish to fall into depression again.

I'm writing this post to clarify MY opinions, if y'all are willing to listen. Currently, all the quotes and rewatches are deleted. I will post them either publically or privately again, but it depends if you all wish to see them.

I use basic meme templates from the incorrect quote generators, and put the names of the MB characters which I think suite the template. So there was this specific incorrect quote:

Draupadi: I love you guys, you are the best thing that happened to me. The Pandavas: we are the best thing that happened to you? Draupadi: yeah. The pandavas: we are starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Now, this is a very popular incorrect quote. I don't see how this is derogatory towards the Pandavas, or Draupadi for that matter. It's just a joke. And I'm allowed to make jokes. You, however, are not allowed to post screenshots of my posts on social media without my permission/giving credit.

Tell me honestly, did this feel insulting to any of you? If it did, then I will accept my mistake. I did not make it from the intention of hurting anyone. I just thought it would suit them.

Now change the characters. If I had written this for Krishna and Balarama, would it feel insulting? No. IT IS JUST AN INCORRECT QUOTE!

And then this person says that I used "derogatory" language for my favs. WAIT WHAT? Does this person even know who my favs are? Pls tell me where have I used derogatory language for Abhimanyu or Uttaraa. Yes, I have made incorrect quotes. But these quote templates are used by 100s of ppl online, it's not just ME who is making these quotes, srsly. And no one has ever said that "hey I find them insulting".

Then, my rewatch series. First, it is solely, SOLELY based on what SP MB portrays the characters to be like. If I put any references from the OG MB, I MENTION IT explicitly. My rewatch series was inspired from @demonkidpliz's rewatching MB series (yes, I did take permission before starting it.)

Now, Dhrishtadyumna was trying to kill Drona, right after his birth. So I said it was "out of his aukaat". Why? Because he is very weird. He insults Draupadi in a very sexist way, and is downright irritating till this point. So I used this language for him. It is a satire on the show, God.

OG Dhrishtadyumna was a very nice warrior, but are his warrior skills shown in the show ? Are they? No. And if you consider this to be an accurate representation of him, then...you are special.

Then, this person posts stuff about me calling Arjun depressed. THIS was the biggest issue. I saw some of my friends commenting under it, without even clarifying it with me, first, so it did hurt initially.

The show does not show Arjun to be the great warrior he is. Arjun in the OG MB does not hesitate to fight UNTIL the Kurukshetra war, and he has proved his mettle as the best warrior of his time multiple times in the text. In the show...well, all of his gr8 warrior sequences are just removed. Almost all of them.

In the Varnavrat thing, the Pandavas (and Arjun) are eager to kill the Kauravas, which is very uncharacteristic for SP MB Arjun. So I said that "oh, he wants to fight? He won't want to fight after the depression hits in."

IT IS FOR SP MB ARJUN.

NOT FOR THE REAL ARJUN, GOD.

Yes, I know that he was a gr8 warrior. Yes, I know that he did tapasya and pleased all the Gods. Because he was GREAT. And I know that. The title of the post was "Re-watching Mahabharata", and the tags were "starplus mahabharat", "starbharat recap" and "starbharat". Srsly? You will say that I am calling the OG Arjun depressed?! Really?! It's a satire on the show!

Asking me to show even a single verse in the text where he is mentioned to be depressed is kinda weird since I DID NOT CALL HIM TO BE DEPRESSED! And I know how serious depression and suicide is. I suffered from it once. I don't need anyone teaching me about how serious it can be, or how it can affect your life. I am NOT trying to pick fights with anyone, okay? I am not. I am not interested in weird kalesh at all.

I want y'all to tell me if I have done anything wrong, or if any of you ever had similar feelings seeing my incorrect quotes or rewatch series. Since they are currently deleted, I will start posting them again if y'all are interested in seeing them.

[zoros-fourth-sword]

LAW x FEM READER

Request post:

@makemake22 - Heyy, (srsly, i don't know what's your name so i can't call you, haha.) I just stumble along your fanfic, and i was wondering if i can request Law with yn that brat taming him. You can use your wild imagination, no problem.

Sorry if it took long but I am absolutely obsessed with this man so ofc I was going to write this so I hope you enjoy ❤️🥰

{MDNI 18+ only}

This oneshot is a 18+ onshot only so read at your own risk

This oneshot contains the following: brat taming, spanking, name calling, dom energy, fingering, smut, and more

BRATY FEM READER x DOM LAW

BEWARE MY WRITING SUCKS

“LIKE YOU FUCKING CARE LAW” I yell towards the man that was standing in front of me my face slightly red from my anger 

“OF COURSE I CARE Y/N YOUR MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND” Law yelled back at me not really wanting to deal with my shit at the moment he would rather go back to his study buddy than spend time 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 his 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 

“IF YOU DID YOU WOULD SPEND MORE TIME WITH ME THEN YOUR FUCKING STUDY BUDDY” I yell as I step closer to Law slightly having to look up at him due to his height 

“Why is it such a fucking problem to study with my coworker Y/N you act like we’re fucking each other on the side” Law snapped out instead of yelling I guess the stupid fuck got tired  

“That might not be your intention but that doesn’t mean that isn’t hers I don’t feel comfortable with you in the same room as her why can’t you understand that” I snap turning my head to the side so I didn’t have to look at him any longer because if I do I might punch him in the face 

“Look Y/N I understand your feelings but this is my job we are talking about I’m not worried about a stupid girl that fantasizes about fucking me” Law huffed out while pinching the bridge of his nose 

“Yea whatever all I’m saying is if she tries anything funny I’m fucking punching her teeth down her throat,” I say before turning my head back around to look at 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐒 face 

“Y/N baby I wouldn’t dream of letting some low-life girl touch me and besides the only woman’s hands I want on me are yours” Law chucked out as he grabbed my hips to pull me into a hug 

“You fucking better or I’ll chop your balls off” I mumble into his chest 

“I know you will” Law chuckled nervously 

“Baby I got to go now but I’ll be back around 9:00 pm,” Law said as he kissed the top of my head

“Okay baby I love you,” I say as I lift my head resting the bottom of my chin against his chest 

“I love you too I got to go,” Law said before leaning down to place a kiss against my lips 

“Okay” I huff out slightly dreading that I’m going to be alone for the rest of the day 

“I promise to make it up to you later,” Law said as he let me go to grab his stuff to leave 

“You better,” I say crossing my arms over my chest 

“I will” Law chucked out before giving me one last kiss 

“Mhm” I hum as he begins walking out the door

I’m currently sitting in front of my long mirror that sits in mine and Law's bedroom in blue lacy lingerie, that I bought a while back with Nami 

If Law wants to be a little stubborn shit I’m going to give him a reason to come home the man said he was going to be home around 9:00 pm but it’s currently 11:30 he said they had to catch up on some more papers yea paperwork my ass I’m sure she’s trying to get him to stay longer with her sluty ass self I swear if I could kill a bitch It would be her 

I decided that I would tease Law by sending him some spicy pics hoping it would make him come home sooner 

I began positioning myself so my ass was sitting on the heels of my feet causing my back to arch giving the illusion that my ass was bigger than it was I quickly snap I few pictures before switching to my next position 

I sit ass on the floor with my legs slightly parted giving Law the perfect view of my wet core 

Once I was satisfied with how the pictures came out I quickly sent them to law with a little message along with them 

“𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐢𝐦 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐲 😒😘”

All I’m saying is if this doesn’t get his attention then I don’t know what will 

“𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝��'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐢 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 <𝟑𝟑𝟑“

I don’t know maybe because you said you were going to be home a long time ago I mumble under my breath 

“𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝟗:𝟎𝟎 🥺💔”

“𝐢𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬☹️”

“𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞 🥺💔”

“𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰” 

“𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐬𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞🙄😒”

“𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐣𝐨𝐛 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐮𝐦“

“𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐦𝐞 😒”

“𝐢𝐦 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲“

“Wow well I guess my plan kinda worked” I chuckle out to myself 

I’m currently laying on mine and Law's bed with my legs spread while pleasing myself slightly hitting the squishy part of nerves that makes my legs go crazy 

“Fuck” I wine out not being able to be quite 

I began speeding up my pace once I felt my lower stomach start to heat up signaling that I was close to my release

“Fuck” I moan out slightly squeezing my legs around my wrist not being able to handle the pleasure 

“𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬“ 

Just as I was about to cum Law spawned right in front of me with the most pissed-off expression I have ever seen on his face 

“Why you little brat” Law hissed out of his teeth throwing his sword aside 

“Wait Law I’m s-“ I struggle to say still breathing hard from earlier events

“No princess I don’t wanna hear your excuses” Law growled out before making his way towards me 

“But,” I say with wide eyes while scooting all the way back against the headboard 

“This is what you wanted baby I came home so you don’t get to bitch” Law said as he began crawling up the bed to get to me 

“You have been a fucking brat today,” Law said as he grabbed my ankles before pulling me down toward him 

“Law” I squeal out surprised by his actions 

“Don't be surprised Y/N you brought this on yourself and I’m going to make sure you get your fucking punishment” Law growled down towards me as he rest between my thighs on his knees 

“Fuck you Law you left me alone what did you expect I was horny for fucks sake and we haven’t had sex in like two weeks because you’ve been so busy with work” I mumble out turning my head to the side with my arms crossed over my chest 

“Don’t try to guilt trip me princess” Law said as he jerked my head back towards him by my chin 

“You get to shut your mouth and be a good obedient girl for me ya” Law said his deep voice causing heat to run up my core 

“Brats don’t get rewards,” Law said as he traced my bottom lip with his tattooed thumb 

“They get punishments and I think it’s about time for yours,” Law said as he traced his hand down my chin and to my neck before warping his fingers around it slightly squeezing 

“Fuck Law” I whine out shutting my eyes due to the pleasure 

“Mhm princess that’s right I want this to be torture for you I want you begging” Law chuckled as he pressed his knee against my clothed core 

“I will admit baby you did an amazing job at making yourself look all pretty for me,” Law said as he began circling my core with his knee causing me to fling my head back before letting out a broken moan 

“Fuck baby your so hot” Law hissed out as he began tracing his hand that was around my neck down my body and towards my breast 

“Blue looks so good on you baby but unfortunately I’m going to have to remove this” Law said as he grabbed the bottom of my bra before bringing it back and letting it go causing it to snap against my skin

“Fuck Law I can’t handle it” I sigh as droll began to run out of the corners of my mouth due to Law's constant abuse on my pussy 

“Yes you can baby and you will you did this to yourself remember,” Law said as he sped up his pace with his knee 

“Please I can’t” I sob as my legs begin to shake 

“How sad princess I haven’t even started,” Law said as he stopped 

“Fuck” I whine out in relief 

“Don’t get too comfortable” Law said as he turned me around so I was lying on my stomach with my ass up in the air against his hard cock 

“Fuck Law” I moan letting my head hang between my arms 

“Fuck princess I can’t wait to fuck you my cock has missed you so much,” Law said as he began grinding against my ass causing my pussy to clench around the air 

“Shit Law” I pant out with my head still hanging between my arms 

“Oh you poor girl let Doctor Traffy make you feel good” Law chuckled as he pulled my head back up by my hair 

“Fuck Law I can’t” I sob as tears formed in my eyes 

“That’s too bad Princess,” Law said as he landed a harsh slap against my ass cheek with his free hand

“Fuck Law” I squeal out in surprise my body slightly jerking forward causing laws to grip on my hair to tighten 

“Mhm baby just nine more of those and you good ya” Law hummed out as he rubbed the red mark on my ass slightly soothing the pain 

“Mhm” I hum as I begin nodding my head 

“Good girl,” Law said as he jerked his hand back to slap my ass again 

“Count with me okay,” Law said as he landed a slap against my cheek 

“Okay” I broke out slight tears running down my face 

“One” Law said as he raised his hand again 

“One” I breathe out 

“Two” *smack*

“Two” I whine out 

“You're doing such a good job princess,” Law said as he rubbed the handprint

“Three” *smack*

“Three” I sob as I grip the sheets 

“Four” *smack*

“fuck four” I broke out as I began breathing hard slightly becoming lightheaded due to so many emotions fogging my brain 

“Almost Princess” Law said 

“Five” *smack* 

“Five” I weakly say

“Six” *smack*

“Six” I pant 

“Four more baby” Law said

“Seven” *smack*

“Ten” I cry out once Law finished giving me my punishment 

“You did such a good job baby I’m proud of you” Law praised me as he began rubbing my throbbing ass cheek 

“Thank you” I pant out 

“Now let’s get to the fun part ya,” Law said as he moved my underwear to the side 

“Yea” I weakly say desperately needing Law inside of me 

“Alright baby,” Law said as he pulled his pants and underwear down 

“Fuck baby your drenched” Law hissed out once he felt my juices against the tip of his cock 

“Please law” I whine out not being able to wait any longer 

“Of course baby since you took your punishment without any complaints” Law grunted out as he slid his cock into my throbbing core 

“Fuck Law Oh My” I moan out as I press my ass harder against his hips 

“Fuck baby doll you feel so good” Law whined out as he began forming a pace with his hips sliding in and out of me

“Shit Law I missed this so much” I moan in the blankets as I grip the sheets 

“Fuck Princess so have I” Law growled out as he leaned down to warp his fingers around my hands 

“Fuck” I whine out from the angle 

“Ya you like this position huh” Law hummed in my ear causing vibrations to shoot up my spine 

“Yes” I moan out 

“So do I baby,” Law said as he began to pick up his pace causing my eyes to cross

“What’s the matter baby am I fucking you stupid” law chuckled as he put his hand behind my head to press me farther into the mattress 

I couldn’t even answer his question due to the overwhelming pleasure 

“Awe can’t speak can you princess” Law said as he lifted his body back up to grab my hips 

“I’m sorry baby you got to handle it just a little longer,” Law said as he began to thrust into me hard causing my body to jerk forward from each motion 

“Fuck Law,” I say letting out a loud moan

“I know baby I know,” Law said over the slapping of our skin 

“Shit princesses I’m close,” Law said once I felt his thrust grow sloppy 

“Me too” I moan out 

“Maybe I should shoot my cum in ya so I can see plump and round with my baby growing inside you” Law growled out becoming more turned on by the thought 

“Fuck law that sounds so hot” I broke out 

“Fuck shit baby” Law growled out as he released inside me 

“Oh my gosh law you did not” I gasp out jerking around in one quick motion surprised that he actually did cum inside me 

“Shit baby I’m sorry I lost control,” Law said with wide eyes slightly scared I was going to beat the shit out of him 

“Fuck” I cuss out in disbelief 

I really hope yall liked it comment and let me know if you did 🥰❤️🙏

[tojikai]

Okay but I am the only one who didn’t fw naomi even before she pulled that bs

I don’t know how to explain it but i really dislike like how she came off when it comes to y/n and yui

Like seriously……

I hate her “shy” “kind” demeanor that she’s puts on like…

what did she think of y/n and some of the stuff she (naomi) was doing because she did so much wild shit: basically trying to replace y/n place and be yui mother plus how distasteful her and satoru would act👎👎

Also her and satoru were so wild even before they got together idk i would lose my shit if i found out the man that promised to work on us, was using this one girl for comfort and telling her our problems while falling for her?!?!! Nah i’d cash out

Naomi was kinda of wrong too especially since she was “falling for him” like this man and this women have stuff going on plus a whole child and ur just inserting urself!!!

It feels like she kinda of used it as an opportunity

Maybe im just a hater but did gojo’s mother plan for them to get together? And how did they even start getting close again? Plus how did satoru start using her as a damn therapist 😭😭 did bro just say “oh, me and yui’s mother has just been….” Or what

I would’ve also lost my minddd to find out that this lady has been hanging around my child without me knowing

Makes me wonder if the roles were reversed, what would satoru do? Would he find a problem with how a man who has romantic intentions with y/n and cuddles with her or wtv while yui is there, has been hanging around especially with his kid in the picture ?🧐

Yeah im definitely just a hater 😅

NAOMI? now let me say im the biGGEST HATER I HATE THE WAY THAT YOU WALK THE WAY THAT YOU TALK I HATE THE WAY THAT YOU DRESS— LMAO srsly tho i didn't fuck w her since the beginning too esp. with the fact that she chose to get w satoru despite knowing everything😠 LMAO i literally wrote her but yeah, i hate her for that. she's NOT a girl's girl. if i was yn's friend, it's ON SIGHT!!!!!

i feel like if yui finds out about her when she grows up, she'll think of her as someone who tried to take her father away from her when he's already not w them, instead of someone who tried to help her father when he's having problems w her mom. even if she didn't do anything to her directly, i feel like yui would hate her for getting in between her parents when they're already apart.

gojo's mother didn't plan on getting the two of them together. she just wanted anyone but yn for satoru. naomi was the closest available one that time. naomi and satoru sort of like developed a close relationship bc naomi and yn used to be HS classmates, she knows yn. it wasn't hard for satoru to introduce the topic and open up bc of that.

and if the roles were reversed, i think it already happened w toji and lets just say satoru lost his mind over that😭

[orangewsunglasses]

ok listen

i've always liked chuuya as a character, his design is awesome, i love his personality, the dynamics he has with ither characters, all that good stuff right??? In general i just really love chuuya, but only having the main series to go off of, i didn't know much about his character nor did i really understand him very well

BUT, halfway now through storm bringer, i can safely say he is genuinely my favorite character in bsd. Reading it has exposed so much more of his character, and ive been able to marinate in my thoughts about him for a while now.

Now, again, im only a bit more than halfway through, so my thoughts and opinions are probably going to change. But i can't see how chuuya ISNT human. Like, okay, fine, he was born from a lab, from a singularity, he's the splitting image of an actual boy that "was chuuya" before chuuya was born. But I can't see how any of that matters when the life he is currently living is so painfully human.

That anger isn't just arahabaki, that's his own fucking emotion. That loneliness and betrayal and all of that shit is not just some sort of product of code. He is feeling all of those human emotions viscerally, and if you ask me, that makes him human.

He is so stuck between blaming himself for everything and seeing how many things were just simply out of his control, and I think that divide is showed with his friends in the mafia and The Sheep. One side doesn't blame him for anything, they never did. Their deaths were not chuuya's fault, no matter the reason verlaine was after them. How could chuuya know? The Sheep on the other hand, more specifically shirase, blame him for a lot. The fact that chuuya was taken in by them is lorded over him, and the whole "chuuya betrayed the sheep" is well, idk man, bullshit??? it was never chuuya's intent to destroy and leave behind the sheep, he always meant to protect them. Then there's Dazai, who seems to be the only one to see and understand him. I've barely reached the part of storm bringer where he comes back to "see Chuuya suffer as a human", (that line fucking KILLED me) so i dont have much comment on him rn.

I just srsly had to say how much i really truly love chuuya's character now. He will always be human, fuck being born in a lab. I know im saying nothing new, but I can yap all I want, ranting to myself about this was not enough and i needed to go to tumblr lol

tldr; chuuya is human and i bleed for him what the actual hell

[twistedtalking]

3 Dormleaders and the Adeuce Duo's Reaction to

*~Sentience~*

TW: Ace is a jerk, slight mention of Exams, Idk how to write Idia/Malleus/Azul, new to the internet and it's slang writer trying to imagine what Idia would say, slightly cringe, slight T*ey slander, intentional wrong grammar, Azul so confused he forget he doesn't have morals, Mentions of camera, weirdo prefect, I made this when I was bored, and braindead from school, shirtless Malleus, grossed-out Azul, etc.

Ace: ...Oh. So I'm just a video game character... No real feelings, no real emotions. My family is just a figment of my imagination. My personality, just pieces of code.

Life has lost all it's meaning.

...Or was I ever truly alive in the first place?

.

.

.

.

GOT YOU!!!

Man, you should have seen the look on your face. It was HILARIOUS!

What? Did you really think you could fool me with such a basic prank? Come on, my brother already done that one when I was five. ...which I completely did not fall for whatsoever! Nope. Not at all.

Anyways, you should really hide your props better. I could see the camera from miles away.

(Prefect: What do you mean "camera"?)

Ace: ...

(Prefect: ...)

Ace: ...we're dead.

Deuce:

"Huh?! REALLY?? Was My whole life a lie?! Oh gosh, does this mean I've never existed?!?! Are the words coming from my mouth really from my thoughts or am I just reading from a script done by some bored writer?!

Does this mean my exam results mean NOTHING?!?!"

(Ace: What? You really fell for that? Dude, you're so gullible. It's just a prank, man. Right, Prefect?)

(Prefect: ...)

(Ace: ...right?)

(Prefect: ...)

(Ace: Dude, this isn't funny anymore)

(Prefect: ...)

(Ace: JUST SAY SOMETHING! ANYTHING! PLEASE!!!)

"We're all gonna die!!!"

(Ace: We can't die if we were never alive in the first place, idiot. Oh great, now I'm saying weird stuff too!)

(Prefect: Sorry for the long wait, guys. Mind catching me up on what happened when I was AFK?)

(Adeuce duo: When you were WHAT?!?!?)

Idia:

"Rlly? Who'd believe that? Like srsly, I'm not even that marketable. I'm too floopy to be in a shooter game, too boring to be in a gacha-"

(Prefect: It's a gacha)

Dude, who in their right mind would pull for me?? I'm the boringest character ever!

(Prefect: Nah, that's Trey)

Nah, Trey's the untrustable kind

(Prefect: Nah, that's Jade)

...okay, fair.

Anyways, I just don't see the appeal. Like, why? I'm just a weirdo who hates people, and stays in my room to play video games 21/7! And I read manga the rest of the time. I'm a total loser!

(Prefect: And that's what makes you the relatable character. Jokes aside, your saracasm is pretty funny, man, the ghost bride event was hilarious, and your character design is pretty cool. That's some of the reasons. Honestly, just gonna pull 4 u on ur next banner.)

"You should get your eyes checked"

(Prefect: I should. It's been a while since I changed my glasses. I can't even see your eyes lol.)

(Prefect: Anyways, Want to play the game? We got Rhythm games, card battles-)

"Sounds great. Better question, are there any, ahem, hot mommies?"

(Prefect: We got...Leona? And Vil! Man, how could I forget Vil? I love that man)

"Who doesn't?! I mean, whoever doesn't must be BLIND. He's totally SSR tier! If he was in the game, I'd whale for him whenever he gets a banner! He's pogchamp.

Well, As long as he isn't trying to get me to take care of myself. He's way better behind a screen. Like man, I don't care if I'll die quicker, give me my cup noodles and pomegranate candies. Actually, it's much better if I die-"

(Ortho: Nee-san! We talked about this!)

"...fine."

(Prefect: You tell him, Ortho!)

Could you send the game now?

(Prefect: yeah, sure. But the boss battles are pretty hard to beat-)

"Heh, I could beat that game in 3 weeks top"

(Prefect: Alright, you're on!)

Malleus:

Child of man, what is this "video game character" that you speak of, and how am I such one?

(Prefect: it just means a whole lot of people all around the world- Scratch that. All around the universe, simp for you!)

What does "simp" mean?

(Prefect: Imagine Sebek but, well... Yeah, never mind. Just imagine Sebek. But for like, fictional characters)

But I am not a work of fiction though, child of man? What dost thou mean?

(Prefect: ...heh. um, actually...)

A talking portrait of me in your digital device. I still do not understand what you are trying to convey.

(Prefect: Never mind. Let's just look at fanarts of you)

"Fanarts"?

(Prefect: portraits of you done in my realm)

I am fine with that. Show me these "fanarts" you speak of.

.

"These are not at all accurate. Some of them look completely different from each other. And why do some of them portray me without my clothing-"

(Prefect: OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH INTERNET FOR TODAY! Yeah, let's just look at gargoyles or something! ...wait. Is that Lilia with a bag of groceries?!?! Oop. We're doomed.)

Azul:

Ah, good afternoon Prefect. I wish to speak to you. You see, while we were stealing-

I mean, checking your phone-

(Prefect: Why are you stealing checking my phone??)

Not important.

Anyways, we found this. Care to explain why you have a picture of me as your lock screen? I mean, I AM quite handsome, but the use of photos of me taken without permission could and would get you sued!

I don't really want to sue you, so I've came up with a good compromise. How about a-

(Prefect: thank God, you didn't see the home screen.)

...Well, of course I did. It was quite...odd.

(Prefect: Really? That's all? I thought you'd make a bigger reaction, you know, with it being you in an nsfw outfit)

In a WHAT!?!?

(Prefect: Aha! So you didn't see my lock screen! I was just joking. FYI, it was just a cute chibi Azul in his octomer form.)

Oh.

(Prefect: The bunny girl outfit was last week)

WHAT?!?! I could sue you right now, you know?!

(Prefect: you have no proof)

You admitted it!

(Prefect: You have no witnesses)

Nonsense! Jade and Floyd are-

Ah. Right...

Ahem. Pray tell, where did you find such...things.

(Prefect: The internet Is a weird place)

WHY WOULD THE INTERNET-

(Prefect: Octavinelle's the most popular game in Twisted Wonderland. At least, in tumblr. Poll-wise, I mean. I prefer Heartslabyul though. Ah, By the way, I mean the videogame, not this world.)

What??

Impossible. I am not from a video game. I'm not some weird anime character-

(Prefect: *shows gameplay*)

Okay, but-

(Prefect: *shows chapter 3*)

...do I at least get a share on the income?

No? What do you mean "No"?! THEY'RE USING MY FACE! FOR INCOME! AND I DON'T EVEN GET 48%?! This is unfair. This is ILLEGAL! I'm going to sue!

(Prefect: You're going to sue...D*sney. The one who made you? The one who made Ursula??)

Yeah, what's the problem with that-

Wait, Ursula?! What do you mean-

(Prefect: does that mean I can buy twst merch from you now? Hey, can I order a body pillow?)

What? T-that's disgusting!

(Prefect: *puts down bag of money*)

Did I say disgusting? No, I meant odd. But everyone's a little odd.

So, who do you want a body pillow of? Come now, Let us discuss the price in the VIP room.

Original ask:

Message:

(Argument with Idia)

You're just a game character anyways!

(For Deuce)

I'm pulling for your banner cuz you're my fav character. Wish me luck! What do I mean? I mean, you are a video game character, you know.

(For Ace)

Dude, you're from a video game.

[royall-ass]

❤️🐀🎵😶 for the sanders sides ask game :]

(also not sure if this is intentional or not, and if it is feel free to ignore this part! but the option to send anon asks is off on your blog, just so yk ^_^)

WHAT

okay i’ll fix that asap ty for letting me know 😭😭

anywaysssssgs for the ask game:

❤️ - roman!! he’s the whole reason my username is royall ass 😭😭

🐀 - i love remus!!! hes probably around my fourth fav side, but thats just bcuz a bunch of others hold a special place in my heart <3 he’s a silly guy, and i FREAKED when he was first introduced. srsly, i love him (hes also fun to draw…)

🎵 - call me controversial, but Crofters the musical

😶 - umm… okay, ik a lot of ppl that follow me for sanders sides might hate me for this, but i cant stand patton. I love thomas, but i think he rlly leaned into the fandoms like… soft boy demeanor they gave him, and it just kinda ruined him for me. I liked him when he was more of a dad, and he just sorta annoys me in general

[ghost-proofbaby]

As a huge folklore fan, and a constant saddie, I am very content with the current tunes but especially this is me trying. You might want to turn it up though because I ugly sob ‪‪❤︎‬

I was laughing too hard about the reactions and have to wonder if y’all are in my brain too?? Vamp Steve lives rent free there right next to a Vamp Eddie. I blame watching Interview with a Vampire too many times as a child

I will also die if either, or both, of you decide to write dark or kas!Steve.

srsly ily both (in the least insane way, I promise)

- 🍒🌸

it's okay we can all sit in a circle and sob together!!! lil group therapy hug because we're trying and that's enough <3

and probably since anything to do with vampires will always live rent free in my brain as well 😭😭😭 interview with a vampire, van helsing (i see you hugh jackman renaissance and all the kiddos saying they discovered him through dp&w. stop making me feel old.), hell one of the first proper book series i read was the one that was like assistant to the vampire? cirque de freak? something like that? where the kid is desperate to become a vampire or something. little ghost wanted to be the assistant to a vampire in a traveling circus sooooo bad it ain't funny.

but vamp!steve really isn't spoken about enough. generally, i think we as a fandom NEED to discuss more about the possible scientific ramifications of all the times steve (and the entire gang) were exposed to a supposedly toxic environment capable of changing someone's molecular chemistry, and we need to get WEIRDER with our scientific headcanons. (@myosotisa actually has done this and i kiss her big beautiful brain every day for it because i fucking love it. she's so smart and does it more justice than i ever could.)

i just wanna sit and imagine steve with those cursed black veins spreading out around his eyes, growing darker and darker with each passing day. and all of his best qualities, his fierce loyalty and stubborn love and need to keep those he cares for safe, twisting into his own damnation. all the love turning into dark possessiveness, all the need to keep you safe veering into extreme measures that never would have crossed his mind prior to vecna's influence. give me a steve who would no longer just fight for you, but kill for you. and he can justify it all, truly believing he still has the best of intentions without ever seeing that he's started down a path you simply can't follow. never seeing that he's losing the one he loves most, this time by his own two hands.

also please don't die we need someone to fuel our insanity as we see just how far we can push steve harrington our beloved.

also also we love you. in a very insane way. <3

@andvys

[aureatchi]

okay so don't come at me but i have been possessed by something, SO !! ofc i have to run here to scream it out hehehe >:))

"she chose me," "hmm, did she?"

fyodor smiles smugly at dazai's unnerving stare, unaffected by the latter's intense gaze. in fact, it only seemed to amuse the raven haired man, if the way he effortlessly moved his chess piece to take out dazai's unfortunate pawn was any indication.

"you know reverie despises you," dazai says instead, eyes intently staring at the board, determining which piece to move next to wipe away the smug grin on his opponent's face.

"despise seems such a strong word for someone who saw us sharing annotations together." fyodor hums. "besides, she is a much better companion, academically, of course. in any case, i much prefer her over you."

dazai narrows his eyes as a grin makes its way to his face. "oh? is that how you think? then remind me who exactly was the girl that played chess with me two days ago that was, dare i say, better than you? was it not she that i spent time with, alone, might i remind you, here in the warmth of this library, our topic being you? or has that slipped your mind, dostoevsky? you saw us leaving, no?”

fyodor’s smile was forced this time. “ah, such a low blow, insulting me in the middle of a chess game. but very well, how about we make this interesting, hmm?”

“oh?”

“two weeks. one week for each of us. the first man to get reverie’s approval, that is, allowing her to be close to us and gaining her favor entirely. it is she who will choose which one of us is the better student, though i must say that having her choose between the top two students in the class sounds rather thrilling, no?”

dazai hums. “thrilling, yes. entertaining, absolutely. just wait, you’re going to lose,” he chuckled darkly, sliding his white chess piece forward, effectively checking the black king.

fyodor smiled wider, his violet eyes glinting with mischievous amusement. “always so confident.” he easily moved to protect his king.

“may the best man win.” they both said in unison just as the object of their conversation opened the door to the library quietly.

“reverie!”

…blame it on the books i saw yesterday in the bookshop okay… in any case, these three in a dark academia setting has my entire heart. expect more to come, miss rev !! mweheh >:))

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME 🥹 !!

i’m giggling so hard at this entire thing, mia LIA, i can’t believe u wrote this for me. SHARING ANNOTATIONS W FEDYA !! u get it. BEING IN THE LIBRARY ALONE. W DAZAI !! omg me being the topic of their conversation during one of their intense chess matches has me sooo (｡≽\\\≼) & WALKING IN JUST IN TIME AT THE END !! omg the WAY you researched this from my actual lore i srsly am going to get u back day miss lia <3 you’ve spoiled me way too much !!

i’ve been reading this over & over + their little challenge ever since this came into my inbox, LOL omg they think they can play w/ me… “may the best one win” 🙂‍↕️ they think they’re the best & smartest plot twist i choose ranpo.

[kimetsu-chan]

idk if this could be an emergency request or not, you can determine that yourself:)

can i request Zeno x female reader who’s insecure? like, she’s insecure about her smile, her body, acne, and a big insecurity is her personality?

you don’t have to do this if you’re uncomfortable with it:)

~The Way You Are~

A/N: of course I can love. And in want to let you know, that you are absolutely drop dead gorgeous. You should srsly become a model. I hope this can provide you some comfort and I hope you will soon be able to realize how amazing and beautiful you are :) ily ♥️

Zeno and reader are in an established relationship

TWs: Reader is insecure and has some dysphoria

Zeno was working away at his computer in his room. Well, technically it was [Name]’s room, but he was at her house so often it was practically his room too.

He was finishing up some assignments for school when he felt a pair of arms wrap around loosely around his neck. He smiled to himself as he very much enjoyed his girlfriend’s clingy nature. He reached a hand back to ruffle the girl’s hair as a show of his affection. He would have thought she was just being her usual clingy self, but he heard a soft sniffle. And that worried him to no end.

A frown immediately took over his face as his attention was ripped from his assignment to focus on [Name].

“Babe? You okay?”

No answer.

Zeno was going to ask again when he felt her shaking ever so slightly and he heard the sound of soft crying.

Zeno panicked internally as he turned in his chair to face her. He studied her face and his frown deepened as he took in the sight before him.

[Name] had tears brimming her eyes and her bottom lip was quivering. She didn’t know how much longer she could keep the tears from falling, she had already let a few slip.

[Name] was very hesitant to confide in her boyfriend for she didn’t want to bother him. But she knew that Zeno wouldn’t let her go without telling him what was wrong.

Zeno lifted the girl and pulled her into his lap. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before moving his hands to cup her cheeks.

“Are you sad?”

There was a small, shy nod from the girl.

“Yeah? Okay… do you wanna talk about it?”

There was a bit of hesitation, but after a few seconds, [Name] nodded slowly. She took a few shaky breaths before starting to speak.

“I-I just feel… really really insecure r-right now…”

Zeno nodded with a hum to show he was listening intently. He stayed quiet so she could finish explaining her feelings before he gave her his input.

“I-I hate the way it feels, but I can’t help it… I want it to st-stop but I don’t know how to make it stop.”

A few stray tears began to slip down her face and Zeno was quick to wipe them away. Seeing that she was seemingly done with her explaining, he asked her a question in the quietest and gentlest voice he could muster.

“Can you tell me what exactly you’re feeling insecure about?”

This elicited another small nod from [Name] and she took a deep breath.

“I feel… like I’m a bit too clingy… like, I feel like I’m too much. And I don’t want to be a bother… A-And I hate the way I look, I feel ugly because of my acne and I h-hate my smile.”

Zeno shook his head before placing a kiss to her forehead.

“No, you’re not too clingy. I really like your clingy-ness. It reminds me that you love me. Please don’t ever stop.”

[Name]’s eyes lit up every so slightly. Zeno knew exactly what to say as she has expressed insecurity about her personality to him before.

“R-Really?! You… you mean it? It’s not annoying?”

Zeno gave her a bittersweet smile as his thumbs ran gently across her cheeks, effectively wiping away her tears.

“Hun, I wouldn’t lie to you. Especially not about this.”

Before she could say anything else, he continued.

“And it’s okay to need some validation every now and then. I’m glad you feel like you can tell me when you feel these things. I will always be more than willing to ramble about how much I love you and how pretty you are.”

Zeno could tell that [Name] was having a hard time right now, and he wanted to help her feel better. He pressed a kiss to her nose, then to her forehead.

“I still love you.”

With hands still cupping her cheeks, her pressed a another soft kiss to a cluster of acne on one cheek, then the other.

“Even with all these “flaws” you think you have.”

He ended his monologue with a kiss to her lips.

When he pulled away he smiled at her. He hoped he was able to get through to her, which he was.

“I love you…”

Zeno’s smile became bright as he peppered her face in tiny kisses.

“I love you too, [Name].”

A/N: “You don’t know that you’re beautiful” started playing as I wrote this. Larz, it’s a sign, m’kay? Larz you are one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. Both inside and out.

This is not proofread, so please let me know if there are any mistakes 😓

[cheerfullycatholic]

Hello--I have sent asks to other Catholics and am a little scared that I will confuse details between them because I am upset and afraid right now, but will you please pray for me?

I have been failing miserably at following any of the plans I set out for Lent, and on Ash Wednesday, our priest told us that Lent is a contract with God, meaning that if we don't follow through or aren't really committed then it isn't God who comes to collect and give you blessing, but it is the Devil who swoops into fulfill his job as Satan.

I'm sorry for sending this on anonymous--this plan is posted very publicly on my side blog, but it wouldn't let me ask under that name and I don't want people connecting the two. Anyway, I would talk to my current and local priest about this, but I have previously been involved in a controversy with members of the Diocese because of some things I believed, and I don't want to drag those still active members into more drama, nor do I want to end hurting new people who are only trying to serve my community as best they can.

I'm scared of judgement, drama, and unintended consequences. I only want to do the right thing. I'm scared, upset, feeling very alone and worried that God is not happy with me because I am failing so hard at these things I agreed to. I've been getting positive signs, but I am afraid that I am only reading into it what will comfort me and not taking srsly the consequences or the intentions of my actions. I know my current priest believes very heavily in spiritual warfare and I am afraid he will try to exorcise me or that I will end up being condemned.

{{{{{Lenten Plans from the Universe/The Messiah/The Golden Timeline (02/13/24)

Okay so basically, here is the plan--handed down through divine intuition or signs or whatever gave me the information--I trust the information source--so here's my spiritual cleanse for the 40 days:

3 days of (as close as possible) no sleep--72 straight hours--then 2 days of regular sleep schedule for the next 40 days

40 days of no more than 1200 calories every day

40 days no spend (outside of food and bills)

40 days (at least) of no medication (exception--Excedrin Migraine but only in extreme situations...)

Increased prayer/communing/sign reading

***I want to be clear that this is something that I am doing for my own spiritual cleanse and enlightenment and enrichment and etc; I'm not advertising this as a responsible or safe or anything--this isn't a recommendation--you're welcome to join me in an attempt but consult with your own support system including mental health team.***}}}}}

I am in contact with my mental health team, including my therapist and they are aware of what I am doing, and they are trying to support me, but they aren't Catholic, and they don't know the anxieties that come with the rituals and traditions of the Church. I am very scared, and I hope you are having a beautiful Lent. God bless you; I know if you find my side blog that it has a lot of very controversial statements about the Church and my beliefs--but I'm trying my best to make sense of what is happening, and I do not want to be insulting. I'm scared about that too--that all the Catholic blogs I admire will find that place where I explore spirituality and think I am being flippant or cruel or sacrilegious when I don't mean it that way at all. I am confused, scared, and very, very much trying to do what is right. God bless you and thank you for reading this--I understand if you do not post this, but I would still appreciate prayers--I know you are kind enough to pray for me even if I am a blasphemer. I will keep you in my prayers as well.

Of course I'll pray, but I also need to say something

Lent isn't a contract, it's a time of prayer and fasting in preparation for the Resurrection. God isn't looking down on us with a giant microscope to see who stumbles with their Lenten promises to add to His list of naughty kids, that's not how it works and your priest is wrong. It's human to mess up sometimes, especially with promises as extreme as yours. Thankfully, God is merciful enough to not condemn us for it. Now, I do believe the devil can use moments when we stumble for his own gain, but we can stop him by not feeling discouraged and continuing on as best as we can. Media has made the devil out to be this scary, unmovable force, but he's not. He's a weenie

I really like this quote from an article I once read on Grotto Network

If you have fallen away from your Lenten practice, there’s no scorebook where you’ll be penalized. It might be a good time to re-evaluate what you are committing to and why, and to listen for ways the Lord might be leading you in a new direction. In Lent, we remember Jesus who himself fell three times en route to Calvary. And three times he got back up and continued on. In Lent, as in all seasons, Jesus is our companion and guide. No matter how perfectly we’ve executed our Lenten disciplines so far, it’s never too late to continue to walk with Him toward Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

[jinkoh]

i love y'all endlessly i'm literally sitting here like 🥺🥺🥹🥹 pls feel hugged and kissed by kang hyunggu<3

butterscotch yellow

kino/hyunggu x gn!reader

“Still, I can't believe you didn't even tell us. No use crying over spilled milk but you'll have to tell us all about how it happened, y/n. I mean you hated his guts.” Just when you realized that Hyunggu and you hadn't agreed on a backstory yet, a voice sounded from behind you. “Hate is such a strong word, don’t you think?”

summary: for reasons you can't quite understand you end up fake dating the one guy you absolutely can't stand—and even more perplexing: you also end up falling in love with him

word count: 19,5k Tags: fake dating, rivals (?) to lovers, college au, hurt/comfort, a little smut (minors dni); Warnings: alcohol consumption

a/n: actually this story was first inspired by prompt 27 from this post: the way you said "I love you"—A taunt, with one eyebrow raised and a grin bubbling at your lips. And then it accidentally became almost 20k and the original prompt isn't even all that present anymore. Anyway I hope you enjoy~

Masterlist

Everyone loved Hyunggu. He was kind and charming and beautiful and helpful and whichever other amazing traits could be attributed to a person. Anyone would attest to how perfect he was

—and you couldn’t for the life of you understand why. Even your friends genuinely liked him and, what irked you even more, couldn’t grasp why you didn’t. If anything, they thought your constant bickering was amusing.

To your demise you weren’t only sharing the same major, no, you were also together on the student council. There was really no escaping him.

It wasn’t like you were a negative person by nature. But something about Hyunggu just rubbed you the wrong way, you felt annoyed by his mere presence.

Maybe you were just a bit more sensitive  these days, but considering that you only just went through a pretty ugly break up with your boyfriend it was only natural.

So, when you went to the atelier between two of your classes in hopes of getting some peace and quiet while working on your final assignment,  you weren’t exactly pleased to see someone else already there and even less pleased that it was Hyunggu.

He looked up when you walked in, only just stepping out from behind one of the art supply racks, his hair slightly ruffled.

You couldn’t suppress a sigh at his sight, but he just grinned.

“Nice to see you too, y/n.”

Just when you thought you couldn’t have been more annoyed at the situation, a girl stumbled out from behind the shelf, hastily readjusting her clothes. When her eyes met yours she laughed awkwardly, before scurrying past you out of the room.

After the girl had closed the door behind her you threw an annoyed glance at Hyunggu.

“Seriously? In the atelier?”

He just shrugged, getting back to his easel.

You couldn’t believe this. You didn’t care if he wanted to sleep around or whatever. It was none of your business and it also wasn’t a secret that he liked to have hookups with girls or guys or anything outside and in between—no strings attached of course. But did it have to be in the atelier? This space was for working, for drawing. It was supposed to be a safe space. Couldn’t he have gone elsewhere if he was feeling horny?

"I don't care what you do with your free time but can you at least try to keep it in your pants while in the atelier?"

He didn’t even look at you, his eyes trained on the painting in front of him as he picked up his brush again.

“Calm down, y/n. It’s not like we actually had sex here.”

“Calm down? Some people try to work here, Hyunggu.”

“You're just bitter because you're not getting any. Not anymore at least.”

Ouch. You didn’t want to admit it, but he’d hit you right where it hurt. A part of you wanted to murder him, another part wanted to cry.

But as if you could ever let that happen, as if you could ever cry in front of him. That’d feel like losing and if there was one thing you hated more than you hated him it was the feeling of losing.

So you just rolled your eyes at him while sitting down in front of your own work.

"Very funny, Hyunggu."

He threw you a shit-eating grin. “I know.”

You thought the conversation was over, but apparently Hyunggu didn’t agree.

“I can't help it, y/n,” he said casually as his brush moved over the canvas. “They just can't keep their hands off me.”

You started wondering if maybe you could get away with murder.

“Yeah,” you scoffed. “You poor soul. Must be so hard to be born this pretty.”

“Thanks.” He sighed dramatically. “It really is.”

You felt so frustrated with him, your hand started clenching around your brush. But you tried to contain your anger and calm your breathing.

"Maybe you should just start dating someone for real if you're struggling this much. Would surely help your case.”

The moment you spotted the smug grin on Hyunggu’s lips, you regretted your words.

“Sure. Are you volunteering, Buttercup?”

You gagged at his words. “I’ll pass, thanks.”

“Hm.” He shrugged and turned back to his painting. “Your loss. Others would have died for this opportunity. But suit yourself.”

“Yeah, right,” you mumbled, trying to steer your focus back on working too.

You mostly worked in silence after that. From time to time you could hear Hyunggu humming so softly, you didn’t even notice at first and when you did you were surprised to find that it didn’t bother you. In a way it was nice to have a little background noise while focusing on your painting.

Since you still had another class, you had to pack  up your stuff eventually to leave. While you cleaned out your brushes, your gaze briefly wandered to Hyunggu. He was completely engrossed in his work, not even noticing you at all. It was like he was a completely different person.  There was nothing of his obnoxious teasing and his arrogance. His whole aura changed when he focused on his painting—it almost made you want to respect him. Maybe you did, a little, at least this side of him.

You didn’t say goodbye when you left, both to not interrupt him and to avoid another spiteful conversation. But when you opened the door you heard a mumbled “See you,” from his direction.

“Sure,” you replied, not even bothering to look back.

A few days later, you found yourself at a house party from one of your fellow student council members. It was the first time you went out after the break up so you’d been somewhat looking forward to this.

But now you were standing in some  corner, clutching onto the drink in your hand, your eyes glued to your ex making out with some girl on the couch. They were so invested in shoving their tongues down each other's throats they didn't even notice you staring at them.

Someone else seemingly noticed though because you were suddenly pulled out of your trance by a familiar voice.

“Wow,” he said with a dramatic sigh. “That hurts. I thought we were going to get married. Guess making out in the art room doesn't mean anything anymore these days.”

Your head snapped around to find Hyunggu standing next to you, an impish grin on his face.

When you looked back to the couch then, you recognized the girl on the couch as Hyunggu’s hook up from the other day.

“Truly tragic. You must be heartbroken,” you retorted.

“Hm. Not as much as you.” His voice almost sounded genuine and when your eyes met his you thought something like concern flashing through them.

It was gone within a split second though. “Bet you regret not taking me up on my offer now, huh?”

You rolled your eyes before downing the rest of your drink. “Gotta go, get a refill.”

“You know, if you'd asked me I would have gotten one for you.”

“I don't need you for that.”

You started walking towards the kitchen to finally get rid of him, but he jogged up next to you.

“No need to be so cold, Buttercup.”

“I'm not in the mood for your jokes, Hyunggu.”

He came to a stop in front of you, blocking your way with his body. When he looked at you, there was something dark in his eyes. If you didn't know better you'd think he was trying to seduce you.

“Who says I'm joking?” He leaned in a little. “I wouldn't mind giving this a go, just say the word.”

To your own horror, you really felt your heart skipping a beat but you quickly shook yourself out of it. You couldn't get involved with him and his games just because you were heartbroken and a little tipsy.

“Dream on,” you scoffed, pushing past him to the kitchen.

You tried to stay clear of both Hyunggu and your ex-boyfriend for the rest of the evening but it wasn't that easy since the location wasn't exactly a big place. Still, you could at least ignore them. You deserved to have a good time and there was no reason why you would have to be the one to leave. You did nothing wrong. You didn't cheat or break up nor did you make out with some girl in the art room.

But when you went back to the kitchen once more to get you another drink, you caught your ex, completely occupied by that girl from before who was sitting on the kitchen counter, her legs wrapped around his waist.

You wanted to gag and cry and punch him in the throat.

Good for her though, you supposed, since she really seemed to be getting her needs met these days.

When you sat down your cup on the counter with a little more fervor than necessary, your ex unglued himself from the girl’s lips to look at you. 

“Oh,” he laughed awkwardly. “y/n.”

You threw him a forced smile and a nod, before you turned back to your drink. There was no reason to make conversation with him. You could be out of this kitchen within seconds.

Your eyes searched the counter, trying to find a bottle of liquor that wasn't empty in all the mess

“I think this one is good,” the girl suddenly said and handed you a bottle with a smile. You knew it wasn't her fault, lord, she probably didn't even know you were his ex. But at that moment you really wanted to punch her. For existing, for making out with him, for being nice to you.

Of course you didn’t go through with that. You weren’t that childish nor were you going to give your ex-boyfriend the chance to tell people you were hysterical or a bitch. God forbid they end up sympathizing with him even though he was the asshole who cheated.

“Thank you.” You took the bottle from her and started mixing your drink, trying to leave as soon as possible.

Sadly, your ex decided he wasn't done yet. 

“I'm so sorry if this is awkward for you. I didn't know you'd be here.”

What a dumb excuse. He knew well that you’d be here, you were in the student council after all and pretty close with a bunch of the people here while he was… just kinda there. Still, you weren’t going to make a scene.

“Yeah sure, no problem,” you curtly replied.

“I hope this isn't too hard on you. I don't wanna hurt your feelings.”

You felt yourself getting angrier. Funny that he was suddenly caring about your feelings now. You wondered where that empathy had been when he hooked up with someone else the night while still in a relationship with you.

You put on your best fake smile.

“Why would I be hurt?”

“You don't have to pretend to be strong, y/n. It's okay.”

Your fingers clutched around the bottle of soda you’d picked up, trying hard to contain your anger and not empty the liquid over his head. 

Just then, someone stepped into the room. Of course it had to be Hyunggu. For once you almost felt grateful for his presence. Anything was better than dealing with your ex just a second longer.

“What's up?" Hyunggu asked casually but his expression made it clear that he knew very well he interrupted a tense conversation.

“Ah,” your ex looked uncomfortable. “Hyunggu.”

The girl felt uncomfortable too, if the way she averted her gaze was anything to go by.

“So, what did I miss?” Hyunggu asked, stepping closer to you to reach for one of the bottles on the counter.

Your ex laughed. “Nothing big really, we were just talking about how hard it must be on y/n to see me here with my new girlfriend.”

Hyunggu raised an eyebrow at that last word and the girl seemed to get even smaller. He didn't comment on it though, instead he looked at you questioningly.

“Is that so?”

You wanted to disappear.  This was so humiliating.

How could your ex dare to say shit like this, especially in front of other people, in front of Hyunggu?

When you didn't say anything, he asked again. “Are you having a hard time?”

There was concern in his eyes again, but this time you also thought there was something else. An offer. Or maybe a challenge?

Whatever it was, you decided to take him up on it.

Of course you hated Hyunggu with your entire being. But if it meant to escape getting humiliated by your ex any further, maybe it would be okay to take part in one of Hyunggu’s games.

“Why would I be having a hard time? You're here with me after all.”

Surprise flashed through Hyunggu’s face, but it quickly got replaced by a smug grin.

“That's good, love.” He wrapped his hand around your waist and pulled you a little closer to leave a kiss on the crown of your hair. “Let's go back?”

“Sure.”

Hyunggu threw a last glance at your ex and his girl who both seemed equally confused.

“Was good seeing you guys. Truly a lovely couple,” he said before guiding both of you out of the kitchen.

You hated to admit it but seeing your ex's reaction made all of this worth it. The confusion and the humiliation on his  face were the best things you'd experienced in a while.

Nevertheless, you didn't really think it was necessary to stay in Hyunggu's arm now that you were out of sight.

“Thanks, you can let go now.”

“Aww, Buttercup, I'm hurt.” He pouted at you but it was clear he wasn't actually offended. He dramatically clutched at his chest. “I feel so used.”

“Shouldn't have offered then.”

He chuckled at your quick comeback. “You don't know what you're missing out on.”

“I'd rather keep it that way.” You shot him an emotionless smile before making your way back to your friends.

The following week you went back to the atelier to continue the work on your assignment only to find Hyunggu there once more. It only made sense that he’d use the room too—after all he had an assignment to finish. But it was really just your luck that he always chose the same times as you.

With a sigh you stepped inside.

“Is anyone hiding behind the shelves fixing their clothes or are you actually alone right now?” You took a cautious look around the room as if you were expecting someone to jump out from somewhere.

“Who do you take me for?” He grinned. “I would never cheat on you, Buttercup.”

“You're so funny, Hyunggu.”

“Right back at you.”

Since it seemed he really was alone you sat down at your easel and took out your equipment. Just when you wanted to continue your painting, Hyunggu interrupted you.

“Reminds me, do you know what you'll do about the gala yet?"

“What's that supposed to mean?” You asked with a glare. Of course your piece didn’t look exactly finished yet, but you also had another week before you’d present it at the gala and you were confident about making it in time. And even if you didn’t finish your assignment—it wasn’t any of his business.

He shrugged. “Well, your ex will be there too and he now thinks we're dating, so…”

Oh.

You felt the heat rush to your face.

You completely misunderstood him.

“So… what are you asking?” 

“I'm asking how you want to handle it. Are we dating? Are we not dating?”

For a moment you stayed silent, considering your options. Of course you didn’t want your ex to know that you lied or to think that you’d already broken up again. But it was just a gala to present your final assignments. It’s not like you were supposed to come there with a date.

If anything, everyone would mostly stick close to their own works anyway, answering questions if the professor or other guests had any. So it wouldn't really matter right?

You shook your head. “Thanks, but I think no one would notice anyway.” You focused back on your painting. “Last time was really a one time thing.”

You could practically hear the grin in his voice when he replied “Usually that's my line.”

The night before the gala, you went to the location to set up your work. Your class had a loose time frame for the drop off, but by the time you arrived most people had already been there, the gallery decked out in paintings and sculptures. It wasn’t really surprising—you’d cut it pretty close and literally did your last brush strokes just this morning, giving them the day to dry before you transported it.

One of your professor's assistants was waiting at the entrance asking for your name and class number so she could tell you the number of the space where your painting was supposed to go.

When you reached the place there was already a painting up on the wall next to it. It looked very familiar. It was Hyunggu’s.

From an artist's perspective you could understand why your paintings would be set up next to each other—it made an intriguing combination in terms of style and arrangement.

But the prospect of having to spend the whole evening next to him? Torture.

You were carefully unwrapping your painting, when you heard steps behind you. You turned around to see your ex standing there giving you a dirty look.

“Can't believe you,” he hissed his gaze wandering between you and Hyunggu’s painting.

“Excuse me?”

“I was going to do the sensible thing and ask if me bringing my girlfriend along tomorrow would bother you. But here you are, having your work literally next to your new guy's painting. Can't bear to be apart for one evening, huh?”

You stared at him in disbelief. “What the fuck are you even saying? I'm not the one who made the room plan. And even if, what are you so pissed about?!”

“Am I not allowed to be angry when my ex who pretended to be all hurt about the break up moes on this quickly and then has to shove it right into my face?”

“Are you serious right now? You were the one who kept making out with your girlfriend at a party you knew very well I would be attending so what even is your point?!”

He just shook his head as if you were too stupid to understand.

“I just didn't take you to be such a slut, y/n, that's all.”

With that he left you behind, not giving you another chance to retaliate.

You clenched your fists. The anger bubbling in your stomach was so overpowering you almost wanted to go around the gallery to search for his piece and destroy it.

Honestly, he would have deserved that.

But you were going to pull yourself together (only partly because of the surveillance cameras in the gallery).

You still felt angry on your way home. But there was also a realization slowly sinking in: You might have to come back to Hyunggu’s offer after all.

You just knew your ex would have an eagle eye on you as much as he could, and with Hyunggu's painting right next to yours it would probably be noticeable if you didn't keep up the pretense.

So despite the feeling of absolute disgust that took over you at the mere thought of asking Hyunggu about this again after declining his offer so confidently, you decided it had to be done. If only to tick off your ass of an ex boyfriend.

The next day, you got to the location a few hours before it started, to help prepare and set everything up. Your professor gave some last instructions, since it was  the first event of this type for most of the students. After that you helped with some last minute preparations, like relocating some standing and carrying some boxes with sparkling wine inside.

You kept looking for an opportunity to catch Hyunggu alone in between and you finally took your chance when you spotted him fixing the angle of his painting. You looked around before stepping closer and clearing your throat to catch his attention.

He turned around to you and immediately had a smug smile on his lips.

“Y/n.”

You really didn’t want to do this.

“Uh, yeah, hi. Can I talk to you for a second?”

He raised an eyebrow but nodded and the two of you stepped outside. On the way out you briefly crossed paths with your ex who threw the two of you a glare but you tried to ignore him. Hyunggu didn’t seem particularly bothered either.

When you finally stepped through one of the small back entrances, no one else in sight, he smiled looking intrigued. “So, what's up, Buttercup?”

“Can we be serious for like one second?”

“I'm always serious when it's about you, y/n.”

You rolled your eyes but decided not to further spur him on by replying to his the stupid comment.

“So the thing is,” you started reluctantly.

“The thing is?”

You could tell from Hyunggu’s smug expression that he wouldn’t make this easy for you, but it wasn’t like you had much of a choice.

"doesyourofferstillstand?" you begrudgingly pressed out, swallowing all your pride. 

"Eh?" He cocked his head. "My offer?"

It cost you all your strength not to punch him in his dumb pretty face. But you pulled yourself together. You needed him alive.

“Stop  pretending, Hyunggu. you know exactly what i'm talking about.”

“So where does the sudden change of mind come from?”

“Let's just say the situation changed a little.”

“How so?”

You didn’t exactly want to tell him all about yesterday's conversation but you also knew he wouldn’t give it a rest if you didn't give him at least some kind of reason.

“I had a little argument with my ex yesterday,” you briefly summarized.

He nodded slowly as if he was contemplating something.

“Hmmm, I can see why that would change things for you.”

A sly grin appeared on his lips as he stepped just a little closer to you. You felt your heart skip a beat in your chest at the sudden proximity. Without saying anything his gaze just lingered on your for a moment, wandering from your eyes to your lips and back up.

“But you know, Buttercup,” he said after a while. “You should have just said yes when I first offered.”

You frowned.

Of course you had known this conversation would be uncomfortable and that he'd be smug and sassy. But there had been no doubt in your mind that he would easily agree. Yet, now he was rejecting you?

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I guess you could call it a time-limited offer? Would have done it for free, but now you lost your chance.” 

He looked at you with fake pity. 

“What?” you asked, dumbfounded. You didn't know what else to say.

“Sometimes it's better not to hesitate, y/n. Maybe take it as advice for the future.”

You shook your head. “You're kidding right?”

“Why would I be kidding?”

“You were so keen on this before and now you're saying no?”

He shrugged. “What would I get out of this?”

“So that's what this is about? You want something in return?”

“I mean if you don't want to…” He let his eyes wander into the distance, a meaningful expression on his face.

You sighed. “What do you want, Hyunggu?”

A sly grin formed on his lips and it made your stomach burn with frustration. “I knew you'd come around.”

“Just tell me what you want already, Hyunggu.”

“A favor.”

You had a bad feeling about this.

“A favor?”

He nodded “Exactly.”

“What kind of favor?”

“I'll let you know when I need it.”

“You expect me to say yes to this without knowing what you're going to ask for?”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “I'm not expecting anything. I'm just telling you my price.”

You took a deep breath. You hated this. There was no way you’d say yes to something like this. How stupid did he take you for?

Just when you were about to tell him to forget it all, you heard the backdoor behind you open.

Your ex was standing there, eyeing the both of you with pure disgust.

“Sorry to interrupt the two of you,” he snarled, not sounding sorry at all. “If you're done flirting maybe you want to come back inside and actually help like the rest of us?”

You swallowed looking back at Hyunggu who cocked his head in a question, as if to ask what your decision was going to be.

Your jaw tensed up. You couldn’t let him expose you now in front of your ex.

“Fine,” you mouthed at him.

“Perfect.” Hyunggu leaned in closer, his lips briefly brushing over your forehead, before he pulled back again to look at you.

“I love you.”

The way he said it was taunting, one eyebrow raised and a grin on his lips. It was so obvious that there wasn’t the tiniest bit of sincerity in his words, but your ex didn’t seem to notice, judging from the scoff he let out.

Hyunggu didn't give either of you a chance to say anything, moving past you to step back inside from where your ex was still glaring at you.

When you didn't follow along, Hyunggu turned around again. “Aren’t you coming, Buttercup?"

You went back inside to help with the rest of the preparations, though honestly, there wasn’t much to do anymore, confirming your hunch that your ex mainly came outside to interrupt you and Hyunggu.

Still, you somehow managed to keep yourself busy with this and that until the event started, barely seeing either Hyunggu or your ex. During the gala itself Hyunggu of course was close by, his painting being next to yours and all, but the guests kept you busy so there wasn't that much room for conversation or any fake dating activities.

In the late evening, after the gala ended, you felt tired and exhausted but you were also filled with bubbling happiness. More people than you’d expected had shown interest in your work and you thought you also did a decent job presenting it, so you couldn’t help the feeling of pride welling up inside of you.

Still full of adrenaline, you turned to Hyunggu who was taking a sip from a water bottle, looking pretty tired himself.

"Tonight was amazing, wasn't it?" You asked excitedly, forgetting for a moment that you were supposed to hate his guts.

You got ready to be ridiculed by him, you could almost hear his voice taunting you for getting so childishly happy about something like this. But instead he broke into a wide smile too, little creases forming in the corners of his eyes.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I loved it too"

It caught you off guard. He looked so genuinely happy, no trace of his usual sneer or smugness.

You couldn't remember seeing him like this before but you suddenly understood why everyone seemed to like him so much.

You swallowed, quickly averting your eyes. Instead of him, you focused your attention on your painting, reaching out to carefully take it off the wall.

"That's good," you mumbled, hoping Hyunggu didn't notice the heat you felt rising up to your cheeks.

Maybe it was because of the size of the painting or maybe you were just too fidgety but somehow getting it down was way harder than it’d been to put it up. You were just considering asking someone from the gallery to help you with it when you felt someone step behind you.

"Let me help you," Hyunggu said, standing so close to you that you noticed the scent of his perfume. It smelled like freshly cut flowers. It didn't exactly fit the image of him you'd painted in your head, but maybe you didn't know him as well as you thought you did.

"It's fine," you stuttered out, trying to put a little distance between the two of you.

"Just let me help, y/n," he insisted and you could hear the smile in his voice. "It can be a little tricky." 

Hyunggu reached out his hands to your painting, his fingers brushing yours when he did. He easily removed the painting from the hook it was attached to and gently set it down. 

You felt your heart beating so hard in your chest, you worried that he could hear the sound of it.

"There we go."

"Thanks," you mumbled.

"Always, Buttercup."

The nickname made you look up to meet his gaze, before your eyes wandered past him to your ex who was glaring at you from a few meters away.

Of course. 

All of this had just been part of your little pretense because your ex had been watching. You’d simply been too unattentive to notice.

You suddenly felt stupid for getting all nervous and shy when Hyunggu was just playing his role—a role you’d asked him to play yourself.

“We need to set up some boundaries,” you stated later that night, when the two of you were alone, making your way to the bus stop.

“Boundaries?” 

“Yeah. You know, rules and stuff.”

“So you want to keep this up longer then?” He grinned. “Can't get enough of me now that you've had a taste?”

You suppressed a gag. “Get off your high horse, Hyunggu. It's just that we can't suddenly stop now, I'm sure he will keep an eye on us at college too and since the others also sorta noticed now…”

Hyunggu chuckled. “Got it. We'll play lovebirds a little longer. I don't mind.” You didn't like the expression on his face but decided to ignore it.

“So, as I said, we need boundaries.”

“What did you have in mind, Buttercup?”

“That’s the first one. Don't call me that.”

“Why not? It suits you.”

“We're alone Hyunggu, there's no need to put on an act. Which is the first rule. When we're alone we're back to normal. No flirting.”

Hyunggu raised an eyebrow. “But aren't I always flirting with you? Isn't that our normal?”

“Rule number 2,” you moved on, not acknowledging his nonsense. “No others. I can't have another boyfriend cheating on me, even if it's just a fake.”

“I already told you I wouldn't cheat on you. Anything else?”

“I'm the one who breaks up.”

“Sure.”

You looked at him in surprise. You hadn't expected him to agree to that so easily, knowing all too well that Hyunggu could be prideful.

“You don't mind?”

“I think your ego needs that more than mine right now. Besides,” a cocky grin appeared on his lips, “I bet you won't want to break up anyway.”

“Dream on.”

“So, is that all?”

“Uh,” you considered for a moment. “I think so?”

“What about other kinds of boundaries?”

You looked at him questioningly. “What do you mean?”

“You know,” he stopped walking, his hand grabbing yours to make you stop as well. He pulled you closer until there was barely any space left between you. 

“Things like this,” he whispered. “Is this fine?”

You swallowed, suddenly feeling way too hot despite the cool evening breeze. “I guess so?” Your voice was thin and it sounded more like a question.

“Mhm,” he hummed, his face coming just a bit closer still. “What about other things?”

“For example?”

His eyes wandered to your lips. “Is it okay to kiss you?”

Your brain short circuited. Clearly, the answer should be No. But how could you say no when he was looking at you like that?

“If,” you started, your voice trembling with nerves. “If the situation absolutely requires it…”

“Hm?” He urged you to go on, his gaze not leaving your lips.

“Then I suppose it's okay…”

He didn't say anything for a moment. His face was close enough for you to feel his breath against your lips and you were almost convinced he was going to lean in and close the gap. If you were honest with yourself maybe you wanted him to.

But then he pulled back, one corner of his mouth pulled up to a crooked grin.

“Alright,” he said, letting go of your hand as if nothing had happened. “I can work with that.”

Things didn't change as much as you thought they would—mostly because Hyunggu and you barely shared classes and you tended to keep to yourself a lot in school anyway.

Though when you had lunch with Shinwon and Hui the following week they of course mentioned it to you, playfully offended that you hadn't told them sooner.

“It was just really new and we weren't really sure where things were going,” you lied half heartedly.

Shinwon sighed dramatically. “Still, I can't believe you didn't even tell us. No use crying over spilled milk but you'll have to tell us all about how it happened, y/n. I mean you hated his guts.”

Just when you realized that Hyunggu and you hadn't agreed on a backstory yet, a voice sounded from behind you.

“Hate is such a strong word, don’t you think?”

Hyunggu really had a talent for showing up out of nowhere. He set the tray with his food onto the table and sat down next to you.

“I think rather than hatred, it was a bit of anxiety. Admitting your own feelings can be pretty scary.”

 He smiled. You wanted to punch him.

“But thankfully we managed to talk things out,” Hyunggu squeezed your hand on the table. “Isn't that right, Buttercup?”

Your friends grinned at the nickname. You tried your best to look bashful instead of utterly humiliated and angry.

“Sure,” you replied, pulling your hand out of his grasp.

“No need to be so shy in front of our friends.”

You ignored him, focusing back on your food instead.

“So, since y/n isn't telling us, you'll tell us right? How the two of you got together?”

You felt Hyunggu's gaze wandering over to you, but you didn't look up. You were already feeling uncomfortable enough as it was.

“I think that's a story for another time,” Hyunggu replied in his usual charming tone. 

Relief washed over you. You really weren't in the mood to make up some lovey dovey back story, nor did you want to give Hyunggu the power to make something up by himself.

For a moment you wondered if he wasn't saying anything to be considerate. But you quickly pushed the thought aside—this was Hyunggu after all.

Thankfully your friends let it rest after that and you got back to chatting about this and that until Shinwon interrupted the ongoing conversation with a sudden Oh! as if he'd just remembered something.

“Since you're on the student council too, you’re also signed up for the weekend getaway in a few weeks, right, Hyunggu?”

“Ah, yeah, I'm going.”

“Perfect,” Shinwon continued, excitedly clapping his hands. “Changgu said we had a problem with splitting the rooms since we got some rooms with double beds—but since you're dating now you can just share right?”

You choked on the bite of food you'd just taken, coughing helplessly until Hyunggu started to gently pat your back.

This wasn't good.

You'd been sure you would already be broken up by the time the trip rolled around. But how could you say no to this without exposing this all as a fake relationship? Then again, your ex wasn't even going to be on the trip so why would you have to keep pretending there? But did you really want to tell all your friends that you were pathetic enough to fake a relationship in order to get back at your ex?

While your thoughts kept circling, Hyunggu seemed just as helpless. It wasn't often you got to see him being unsure and if the situation had been any different you surely would have found great joy in it.

“Uhm,” he finally started, throwing you a questioning glance. “I don't really—”

“Sure!” You cut him off. “No problem at all!”

You felt his surprised gaze on you but you kept your eyes focused on your friends who nodded happily.

“Perfect, I'll send a message to Changgu then!”

Soon after, your friends excused themselves to go to classes, leaving you and Hyunggu alone.

“No problem at all, eh?” He turned to you with a raised  eyebrow as soon as they were out of earshot.

“I mean—,” you stuttered. “What was I supposed to say?!”

He shrugged. “I don't know. I'm sure you could have come up with some kinda excuse.” The corners of his lips turned up into a mischievous smile. “If you really wanted to, that is. But I guess I'm just impossible to resist.”

With a roll of your eyes, you grabbed your tray and stood up to leave. Hyunggu quickly picked up his tray as well, jogging up next to you. 

“Can't believe you're trying to leave me behind, Buttercup.” He playfully nudged you in the side. 

“I already told you to stop calling me that.”

“And I already told you it suits you.”

“You're insufferable, Hyunggu.”

“That's what you like about me.”

Things weren't very eventful after that. Hyunggu was teasing you every chance he got (as he always did) and played your sweet, sweet boyfriend whenever other people were around. Somehow you got used to it so quickly, you almost started to miss his constant commentary when you were by yourself. 

Not that you would ever tell him that.

From time to time, you caught yourself blushing or your heart skipping a beat and it honestly worried you. You knew that all of this was fake. He didn't mean it when he called you his or said that he'd missed you. And his nickname for you, too, was just part of this little game.

You knew this and yet sometimes you forgot.

Even if it was fake, even if there were no feelings involved, his hand felt warm against your skin and his voice sounded like home when he called you by that stupid little nickname.

Maybe you could finally understand the fall of icarus now, because against your better knowledge you still wanted to get a little closer, you still wanted to hold his hand and his heart, knowing full well that you'd get burnt.

The weekend before the student council retreat, Hyunggu texted you to accompany him to a party. You told him that you didn't want to go. He knew you weren't usually a party person anyway, but he somehow managed to convince you, saying it would make things more believable and probably also get your ex riled up more since you'd barely gone to parties with him.

So, on Saturday evening you got yourself dressed up and waited for Hyunggu to pick you up. When he spotted you coming out of the house his face lit up, little creases forming in the corners of his eyes the way they always did when he genuinely smiled. You hated that it made your heart race.

"You're looking pretty tonight," he said, opening the door of his car for you.

In an attempt to hide your nerves you just scoffed at him, while getting into the car. “Thanks.”

Hyunggu didn't take it personally though, closing the door and then going back to the driver's seat, a light swing in his step. He seemed to be in a really good mood and you couldn't decide whether you liked or hated it.

You didn't really talk on the way to the party. Instead, he had some music on and softly sang along from time to time. It surprised you—both that he was comfortable singing in front of you as well as the realization that he was a good singer. There were so many things you didn’t know about him yet and it was terrible, really. Because with every new thing you learned, he got more charming, as if you weren't already having a hard enough time keeping up your antipathy.

Once you reached the party you were once more reminded that not only everyone knew Hyunggu but that everyone also genuinely liked him. Before you knew it he was swept away and you were left to your own devices. You shouldn't have felt hurt about it but somehow you still did.

Wasn't he the one who persuaded you to come in the first place? Even if this was fake, the least he could do was to not leave you alone the second you arrived.

Feeling a little lost, you sat down in some corner unsure what to do with yourself, when someone sat next to you.

“You good?” Changgu looked at you, a worried frown on his face.

“Uh, yeah, totally good, really.”

He didn't seem to believe you but still nodded. “You know that you can come talk to me if something is up, right?”

“Thank you, Changgu.”

“Mhm,” he hummed in reply before nipping on his drink. “To be honest it really surprised me to hear that you're dating Hyunggu now. I always thought you hated him.” He wasn't looking at you, instead his eyes were fixed on some people in the opposite corner of the room.

When you followed his gaze you spotted Hyunggu talking animatedly with some guy you hadn't seen before, maybe from a different faculty or college altogether.

You watched him for a moment. The other guy must have said something funny because Hyunggu started laughing, his hand wiping at the corners of his eyes. You knew it was too loud in the room for you to actually hear his laughter, but the sound of it still rang in your ears.

“Yeah,” you replied without averting your gaze. “I thought so too.”

That drew a small chuckle from Changgu before he bumped your shoulders together playfully. “You really got it bad, huh?”

“What?” You tore your eyes away from Hyunggu to look at Changgu instead.

“You don't?”

You couldn't really agree to that nor could you decline, so you just shrugged.

“I hope you didn't misunderstand me. You make a good couple,"” Changgu eventually added. “It's just surprising is all.”

“I don't know about that.”

“About making a good couple? Why? What's up?”

“I'm just not sure if we could work longtime. It's like we have an expiration date,” you replied and it was just a little too close to the truth.

“Hmm,” he sounded thoughtful. “I'm sure you'll figure things out.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Changgu.” 

Somehow you wanted the conversation to end, even if it was just to run away from your own feelings. You excused yourself and went to the kitchen to get yourself a drink.

It was ironic; the mere act of mixing yourself a drink in someone else's kitchen was exactly what got you into this whole mess. It somehow felt so long ago now, even though you knew it had only been a few weeks.

This time there was no ex boyfriend making out with a girl on the kitchen counter. Instead a bunch of people you'd never seen before were sitting at the table playing some kind of drinking game.

When a girl at the table caught you looking over she gave you a smile and asked if you wanted to join. You threw a brief glance through the kitchen door to see Hyunggu still immersed in conversation, so you agreed and sat down next to her. You didn't need Hyunggu to have a fun evening anyway. You could just make new friends if he didn't want to bother spending time with you.

You played a few rounds of a game that you didn't exactly grasp the rules of which also explained why you'd gotten tipsy so quickly. After another lost round you were about to drink again, when your shot glass was snatched right out of your hand.

“Hey!” you complained, tipping your head back in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the thief.

It was Hyunggu. Of course it was.

“I think you might have had enough for tonight,” he suggested, holding the glass out of your reach.

“Shut up,” you babbled. “Don't pretend like you suddenly care about me.”

“Don't say that. You know I care about you.” 

A crease appeared between his eyebrows and he looked... worried? Apologetic? Hurt? You weren't sure.

And it didn't matter either, this wasn't real. 

“Liar.”

He sighed. “I think we should drive home. Let me get your things, Buttercup.”

“Don't wanna.”

“Please?”

Reluctantly and not without a big pout on your face you gave in. “Fine.”

He told you to wait there while he left to gather your things. The girl next to you eyed you with a raised eyebrow. 

“Didn't know you were here with Hyunggu," she said once he had left. "Are you dating?”

You shrugged but she didn't seem to mind the unclear answer nor did she seem surprised.

“Buttercup, huh?” she shook her head. “Classic Hyunggu. You know, he used to call me that too.”

You weren't sure why her words hurt you so much, but they stung like a knife.

You should have known better.

But some dumb naive part of you had always felt a little special when he called you that. Because you’d thought it was a nickname he’d made up just for you.

But of course not.

It was just some dumb name he recycled from past love affairs.

You should have known better.

“You ready to go?” Hyunggu's voice pulled you out of your thoughts. 

When you turned he was standing there with a smile, holding out your bag and jacket for you. Without a word you grabbed your things and walked towards the door. You were still silent when you sat in the parking lot, waiting for him to start the car.

He reached out for the key but then halted, lowering his hand again.

“Are you angry with me?”

“No,” you replied curtly. “Why would I be?”

“Is it about leaving? Did you want to stay that much?” A crease appears between his brows. "I'm sorry."

“I told you I'm not angry.”

“But something is clearly wrong, y/n.” He sighed, running his hands through his slightly tousled hair. “Look, I know I wasn't being the best date tonight.”

“Fake date,” you corrected.

His frown just grew, and for a second you thought there was something like disappointment on his face.

“Yeah, right, fake date.” He repeated your words. “Still, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you all alone tonight.”

“I wasn't alone. I spoke with Changgu and uh-" You tried recalling the girl's name, or any of the people you played with, but you couldn't remember. Or maybe you never knew in the first place.

“I wasn't alone,” you emphasized again.

It was clear that Hyunggu didn't really know what to say. “I mean, that's good then?” It sounded unsure, like a question.

“Yeah. Can we drive home now?”

He hesitated still, his gaze lingering on you a little longer as if he wanted to say more. But then he reached for the key and started the car.

The ride home felt suffocating. He didn't turn on music he could hum along to and you didn't speak either. Both of you just kept your gaze fixed on the road until his car stopped in front of your house.

“There we are.”

“Yeah.” 

“Sorry again for tonight, y/n. I didn't mean for the evening to go like this.”

“It's whatever.” You unbuckled your seatbelt and left the car without even looking at him again.

You made your way to your doorstep and even without turning around you knew Hyunggu was still there. Only when you opened the door and disappeared inside did he start his car again to drive home himself.

He texted you later that night, telling you that he got home and that you should get a good rest.

You didn't reply.

You still hadn’t replied by the week after and you went out of your way to avoid him, disappearing immediately after the classes you had with him to avoid conversation.

Of course you knew that you weren't being fair to him.

You had no right to be angry or hurt about something that you'd known from the start, something you had specifically asked for.

And yet you felt all kinds of angry and hurt.

Maybe there'd been some truth to Hyunggu's words when he'd said you never hated him in the first place. Maybe you'd really just been scared. How unfair though, that you were the only one feeling this way, while he got to move on from this as if it was nothing.

Avoiding Hyunggu had worked out so well,  you'd gotten careless by Thursday. You'd taken your sweet time packing up after one of your classes, only leaving the room after everyone was long gone already.

When you got out, Hyunggu was waiting next to the door, immediately coming over as soon as he spotted you. He walked next to you through the hallway, not a lot of distance between the two of you.

“Don't think ignoring me will get you out of owing me that favor.” He winked, but it was clear he wasn't feeling as relaxed as he tried to make it look. 

“Sure, don't worry, you get your favor. What do you want?”

He frowned at your cold reply.

“I haven't made up my mind yet. But I think rather than that we need to talk.”

“Then talk.”

He stopped walking and when you turned around to him he almost looked angry. You'd never seen him angry before. Annoyed, sure. Disparaging too. But angry? Hyunggu wasn't the type to get angry. He was the type who kept calm, who always had the upper hand.

Somehow you didn't know how to handle him looking at you like that, so you quickly averted your gaze.

“You're being unfair, y/n.”

I know, you wanted to say but you kept quiet.

“You wanted this. You specifically came to me and asked me to help you out.” He took a small step towards you, but not enough to feel intimidating.

When you glanced up his features had softened a little. “Don't I at least deserve an explanation when you suddenly treat me like this?”

He was right. But what were you supposed to say? I don't like that our fake dating is, you know, fake?

When you stayed silent he sighed. “And what am I supposed to tell the others? That we broke up? That we didn't? How am I supposed to behave?”

Objectively speaking, it was a valid thing to wonder about. It was only natural that he'd ask this. After all, contrary to you, he was around people often and couldn't exactly avoid conversations.

But somehow your brain and your heart didn't really connect that well, at least not today.

“So that's what it's about, huh? You're worried about what to tell the others? Well, I don't care, Hyunggu, just tell them whatever the fuck you want to.”

“Come on, Buttercup, you know that's not what I meant.”

Hearing him call you by that name made you feel sick to your stomach. All you could think of was that girl and who knows how many others that he'd given the same nickname to.

“I told you to stop calling me that!” You almost yelled now, not exactly the volume appropriate for the hallways of a university building but you couldn't bring yourself to care.

With tears in your eyes you stomped off, leaving Hyunggu behind in his confusion.

When your alarm woke you up on Friday you felt miserable. For all the same reasons as the day before but also for a bunch of new ones.

After sleeping about it and giving yourself the time to calm down a bit and think the situation over, it became blatantly clear that an apology was due.

You'd known from the start that you hadn't been fair to Hyunggu, but you really took it a little too far yesterday. It was vexing that he didn't even know what you were angry about. But how could he? It wasn't his fault you caught feelings and got your hopes up for nothing.

Another reason for your miserable mood though was that your phone reminded you that the student council retreat started today.

The retreat that Hyunggu would attend as well.

The one where you were supposed to share a room.

You wanted to stay home and just skip out on this. But you also felt that not going would just make things worse between Hyunggu and you and it would also put him in the uncomfortable position of having to explain in front of the others.

So despite everything, you forced yourself out of bed and started packing your things.

All of the student council members had agreed to meet up near college beforehand and drive together from there so that you could share cars instead of everyone driving by themselves. Since you'd put off packing till the last minute,  you were already short on time and to top it off your bus was delayed too. It really wasn't your day.

You texted Shinwon about it, letting him know that you'd be running late and he told you not to worry,  someone would wait for you.

When you arrived at the parking lot you immediately recognized his car.

Really, you should have expected this outcome.

Hyunggu was leaning against his car lifting his hand in a small wave when he saw you walking over.

You remembered the way he'd smiled when he picked you up for the party and it made your heart ache that he wasn't smiling at you now.

“Hey,” he said once you reached him, his lips pressed to a thin line.

“Hey.” 

You looked around the parking lot and also glanced into his car to see if someone else was there. There wasn't.

“Sorry, it’s just me,” Hyunggu said, reaching out his hand to take your bag from you and put it into the back of his car.

You weren't sure what he was apologizing for, especially since clearly, you were the one who should be doing that.

After he put your stuff away he went around to the driver seat.

“Should we get going?”

The drive was silent again and you couldn't help missing the sound of his voice humming along to his music. Or any sound really.  You kept fidgeting with your hands, well aware that you should fix this, but it somehow felt so intimidating to speak up.

“You're making me nervous,” Hyunggu eventually said with a small glance at your hands.

“Sorry.”

You laid your hands flat onto your thighs, but you only made it so long before you started fidgeting again.

“Can you uhm- can we maybe listen to some music?” You eventually asked, hoping to at least get rid of the silence. Maybe it'd be easier to speak up once it wasn't so quiet anymore?

“Sure, you can put something on. My phone should be connected to the speakers.”

He vaguely gestured towards the center console where his phone was laying. You just stared at it helplessly, unsure if he was expecting you to just take it?

“8310.”

“Huh?”

“My code.” For a second you thought you saw a small smile on his lips.

“Ah, right.”

You picked up his phone still feeling as if you were intruding despite having his permission to do so.

You just put one of his playlists on shuffle since you hadn't anything specific in mind that you wanted to listen to and also didn’t want to search through his phone. Melodic jazz started sounding from the speakers and it helped you relax a little.

“Uhm,” you started again after a while. “I'm sorry about yesterday.”

“Hm,” He just hummed in reply, his gaze fixed on the road ahead.

“I was out of line.”

“You were.”

You anxiously bit on your lower lip, unsure what else to say. You'd hoped he'd make  things a little easier for you once you decided to apologize, but you knew you couldn't expect that from him.

“Are you going to tell me what was going on with you now?” He asked after a while.

“I was just—I think I'm just not cut out for this whole fake dating thing.”

It wasn't a lie, just not the whole truth.

“So, are we breaking up?”

You shrugged. “Maybe it's for the best? Thank you though, for playing along.”

“Mhm-hm.” He stopped the car at a red light, using the moment to look over at you. “What do you want to do about this weekend then?”

If only you knew.

Even if you broke up now, it would only make things complicated and uncomfortable for everyone else on the trip, not to mention the problem with the room.

“Maybe we can just... pretend a little longer? And end this on Monday?”

He nodded, looking away from you to focus back on the street when the traffic light turned green again. 

“Whatever you're comfortable with, B–” he cut himself off before repeating his sentence once more. “Whatever you're comfortable with.”

The rest of the drive wasn't exactly comfortable, but at least some of the tension between the two of you had eased. From time to time, Hyunggu was humming along to the songs again too, almost as if he didn't notice he was doing it himself.

Once you reached the lodging, Hyunggu was back to his usual self, meeting the others with a grin.

“The lovebirds finally arrived,” Changgu dramatically greeted both of you, as he and some others got out to help you carry the luggage and supplies. “Took you long enough.”

“We just wanted some privacy,” Hyunggu replied with a wink.

It shouldn't surprise you how good Hyunggu was at slipping in and out of roles, putting up a front as if you hadn't just broken up in the car. Then again, you supposed it probably wasn't as emotionally taxing on him as it was on you.

You weren't sure if you should be hurt about his easy acting or if you should be grateful since he prevented things from getting awkward. With mixed feelings you trudged behind the others into the house, carrying some food supplies for the weekend inside.

The student council was a pretty wild mix of people and you usually felt a little overwhelmed with how loud and chaotic it could get, but today you felt pretty grateful about it.

Everyone was in a good mood, and a bunch of them had already started drinking too so no one noticed that you and Hyunggu kept some distance between the two of you.

Hyunggu managed to make a quick witted comment whenever the conversation touched on your relationship, keeping up the pretense without actually touching or flirting with you.

Between setting things up, cooking and playing some games, the evening rolled around quicker than expected.

You'd mostly stuck to Hongseok, helping him prepare dinner and then doing dishes together with him and Wooseok after dinner.

When you went back to the living room afterwards everyone was chatting and playing games and no one noticed that you sat down far from Hyunggu who was immersed in a conversation with Hui.

Drinking, playing games and listening to everyone's rambles let you forget a bit of the tension from today, and Shinwon even managed to draw the one or the other laugh out of you with his weird jokes.

Just when he'd said something stupid again that made you almost tear up from laughing, you caught Hyunggu looking at you from the other side of the table. 

He smiled fondly, and you quickly averted your gaze, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. You hoped that the blush on your cheeks went unnoticed or at least would be blamed on the alcohol and not your emotional chaos.

After a few more rounds of drinks you found yourself getting both very tipsy and very tired, unable to keep yourself from yawning.

When you could barely keep your eyes open, Hongseok carefully nudged you in the side.

“Y/n? Do you maybe wanna go to bed?”

Your gaze instinctively wandered to Hyunggu who was immersed in conversation, before you shook your head. 

“No, no, I'm still awake,” you mumbled but it didn't sound very convincing.

Hongseok chuckled. “You don't have to force yourself just because your boyfriend is still up, you know that, right?”

Changgu overheard your conversation, asking if you were tired and wanted to sleep loudly enough for everyone to hear.

You felt a little helpless. You hadn't talked with Hyunggu about the sleeping situation again and weren't really sure how to behave. But it was true that you felt unbearably tired and now with everyone reassuring you that it was okay to sleep and some of them saying that they'd head to sleep too, you couldn't really say no.

“Just rest, y/n, it's fine. I'll come up later,” Hyunggu said with a reassuring smile.

“Okay.”

You made your way to the room Hyunggu and you  were supposed to share, quickly got yourself bed ready and slipped under the covers.

Maybe you should have been nervous about the fact that Hyunggu was going to come up later, but you were too drunk and tired to really care.

You must have fallen asleep quickly, because the next thing you knew was that you woke up from a noise in the room. Blinking your eyes, you tried to adjust to the darkness of the room. You weren't sure how much time had passed since you went upstairs, but it was quiet in the house now, except for Hyunggu rustling with his bag.

“It's me,” he whispered when he noticed you were awake. “Just keep sleeping.”

Your eyes kept closing, despite your best attempt to stay awake, and when you opened them again he was gone, probably getting bed ready in the bathroom.

He didn't come back though.

When you woke up early the next morning, you were alone, no trace of Hyunggu ever having been there, except for his open bag on the floor.

You crawled out of bed,  slipping into a hoodie before quietly making your way down the stairs to the open living room. It was quiet, everyone else probably still asleep after the long night.

You got yourself a glass of water from the kitchen when you heard a soft groaning noise from the couch. You walked over to take a look just to find Hyunggu sleeping there under a thin woolen blanket, quietly sighing in his sleep.

You felt guilty for making him sleep there and briefly wondered if maybe you should have stayed home after all, if only for his sake.

As if he'd noticed your staring, he scrunched up his face before blinking his eyes open.

“Y/n,” he mumbled, his voice still thick with sleep.

“Did you sleep here?” You whispered, worried about waking anyone else in the house.

He closed his eyes again for a moment. “Mhm.” 

“Why?”

“What, were you lonely?” A small grin tugged at his lips. 

Honestly you felt a little caught but you tried not to let on. “If anything I should have been the one sleeping on the couch.”

“I wasn't going to throw a sleeping person out of their bed. Who do you take me for, y/n?” He sat up, his hair looking tousled and sticking up a little. 

“But this really took a toll on my poor back,” he sighed dramatically while stretching his arms behind his back.

“I'm sorry.”

A mischievous grin appeared on his face. “Well, if you're that sorry, how about making coffee for everyone? I might be willing to call it even then.”

The way he teased you reminded you of the way things were before the whole fake dating thing went downhill and it made you feel a little relieved, as if you could go back to normal eventually.

The others soon woke up as well and you ate breakfast with everyone before splitting up into smaller groups to get some student council work done, the excuse for taking this trip in the first place.

After working for a while, it was decided that some people should already start making lunch. You volunteered again, but were sent to go to the supermarket instead. Apparently Hui and Changgu had underestimated the amount of food (and even more importantly drinks) you'd need for the weekend.

“Take Hyunggu along since he has a car,” Changgu suggested and you couldn't really find an excuse not to.

You weren't sure if you even wanted to come up with one.

“Good to know our friends are supportive of us getting some alone time, huh?” Hyunggu shook his head in amusement as the two of you went over to his car.

“Sorry that you have to come along.”

“No, not at all. I don't think any of them would be capable of choosing good wine and—,” he playfully eyed you up, “no offense, but I don't trust you with that either.”

You couldn't help but chuckle. “Fair point.”

You got everything from the list as well as a few things on top that you simply were in the mood for—the privilege of being the ones getting the groceries, Hyunggu reasoned.

On your way back to the house you mostly looked out the window, until you suddenly realized that the road didn't look familiar at all.

Just when you wanted to say something, Hyunggu turned right, driving  onto a lot.

“What are you doing?”

He hummed while he easily pulled into a parking spot. “I'm sure they won't mind if we come back just a little later.”

“What are you doing?” You asked again, but he ignored you.

He got out of the car, walking around to your side and opening your door for you.

“Just thought we could use some fresh air.”

You shook your head in disbelief but got out anyway.  When you looked around you realized you were in the parking lot of some kind of botanical garden.

Hyunggu got something out of the back of his car before locking up behind him and walking towards the entrance.

“You coming?” He grinned, holding out a can of coffee to you that you hadn't noticed he'd slipped into the shopping cart.

“You're insufferable,” you said but took the can from him.

He grinned, opening his own can with a plop and raising it in a small toast. “How I missed hearing you say that this past week.” 

You walked through the garden for a while, just looking around and sipping on the coffee. Despite the quiet it didn't feel uncomfortable this time. Maybe it was because Hyunggu seemed to be in a good mood, a light swing in his steps, that rubbed off on you.

Eventually, he plopped down on one of the benches in front of a pretty fontaine, tapping the space next to him for you to sit down next to him.

"”Shouldn't we get back soon? We also have the groceries in the car…”

“It will be fine,  y/n, they won't suddenly spoil just because they’re in the car for a minute or two longer.”

You hesitated for a moment but then you sat down too, enjoying the fresh breeze and the pretty view.

“I'm sorry that I made things awkward,” you mumbled after a while, not daring to look  at him.

“I don't mind things being awkward, y/n. But I'd rather be talked to openly instead of ignored out of nowhere.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Mmh-mh,” he took another sip of his coffee. “Let's not dwell on it anymore. Besides, I'm sorry too.”

You looked at him in confusion. “What are you sorry for?”

“For the party. It wasn't my proudest night.” 

“You already apologized for that.”

He ruffled through his hair and let out a long sigh. “For the nickname too, I didn't know it bothered you that much. I didn't mean to overstep.”

“No, it's not—I mean it's not your fault, I just felt a little weird to be called the same nickname as a bunch of others before me—”

Hyunggu frowned. “What do you mean?”

You swallowed. “It's stupid, because everything is fake anyway but I just got a little too in my head about it. It doesn't matter.”

“No, what do you mean with others?”

“Uh, you know. People you've dated and stuff.”

“What makes you think I used it for anyone else?”

You huffed a tired laugh. “You don't have to pretend for me, Hyunggu.”

“I'm not. Why would I call anyone else that way?”

You almost felt annoyed at him keeping up the pretense. “Hyunggu, please. That girl at the party told me.”

“Well whatever she told you wasn't true then.”

“Why would she lie?”

“I don't know.” His expression looked more like pout now. “But why would you trust her over me? You don't even know her.”

You sighed. "Does it matter? It was all fake anyway.”

“It matters to me.”

“Why?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Just, you know.” He shrugged. “You really have the worst image of me, don't you? But I'm not as insincere as you make me out to be.”

“That's kinda hard to believe.”

“You wound me, y/n,” He sighed dramatically, properly an attempt to lighten the mood again, but it didn’t come across as fun and relaxed as he’d intended.

Hyunggu didn't give you more time to wonder about it though, getting up from the bench and motioning for you to follow along.

“Maybe we should head back after all. Before we miss lunch.”

You returned to the house soon after, not without your friends teasing you about taking so long. You made it on time for lunch though so it wasn't too bad. After eating you got back into your work groups from the morning, you and Hyunggu once again not working on the same things.

Later that evening you all sat together in the living room again, chattering and drinking the night away. It was loud and chaotic as always and you found yourself genuinely happy that you didn't skip out on the retreat. It would have been sad to miss all of this.

Soon enough you felt yourself getting a little tipsy again and decided to step outside for some fresh air. What you hadn't expected though, was that Hyunggu was already outside, looking up at you in surprise when you opened the door.

“What's up?”

You shook your head, stepping outside and closing the door behind you. “Nah, nothing. Just needed to get some air. What about you?”

“Mhm, me too.” He leaned against the wall of the house, his eyes focusing  on the sky.

You followed his gaze, appreciating the amount of stars that could be seen. It was different from the sky in the city that never got truly dark.

“You know,” you mumbled after a while, and maybe it was just the alcohol that made you say the words that followed. “I actually liked it at first.”

“What do you mean?”

“The nickname. I kinda liked it.” You glanced over to find him  smiling at you.

“I like it too. As I said, it suits you.”

“Me and whom?” Your grin died on your lips when you met his serious gaze.

“Why can't you trust me on this?”

You swallowed. “I don't know. It just feels a little hard to believe after what she said and after knowing how many people you hooked up with in the past.”

“Yeah, I did. I hooked up with a lot of people in the past. Her too, like a year ago or something. But I never called her by that nickname. I never called anyone like that. Only you. I promise.”

Your mouth felt dry and you wanted to avert your eyes but at the same time you wanted to keep looking, keep holding his gaze.

“Why?” You asked, unsure what exactly you were even asking.

“You probably don't remember this, but when we first had an art class together in first semester, we were supposed to paint flowers. I wasn't sure what to go for, but then you rushed into the room, flustered because you were late on the first day. You had that butterscotch yellow sweater on and it suited you so well and you looked so bright that it stuck in my mind.” 

A nostalgic smile tugged at his lips. “So I painted buttercups that day.”

You stared at him in disbelief. You hadn't expected this kind of declaration so all you could muster was a small “Oh.”

When you wracked your brains you remembered his painting from that day. It'd left an impression on you back then because you’d liked the way he used the colors.

It was weird to think that without knowing you'd somehow been a part of this painting you’d adored.

He grinned when he saw your flustered expression. “So, do you trust me now?”

You nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

“Good. Let's go back inside then, Buttercup? It's getting cold.”

He was about to open the door when you reached out to him, tugging on his sleeve.

“You know,” you mumbled, staring at your fingers that were holding onto the fabric of his sweater.

“Mhm?”

“You shouldn't sleep on the sofa again.”

He chuckled, one eyebrow raised. “Do you really think I'd let you sleep there?”

You felt the heat rise to your cheeks and hoped he didn't notice through the dark. “I mean the bed's pretty big, you know…”

“Eh?” Hyunggu looked surprised.  “Are you sure?”

“Can't have you breaking your back on the uncomfortable couch, right?”

He grinned. “Right.”

The two of you went back inside and this time you sat down next to him. In the limited space around the living room table you had to sit closely together, close enough for your thighs to touch. You tried not to think about it too much.

You also tried to ignore the way Hyunggu kept touching you more and more the later it got. Just casual touches that you knew were a habit of his; something he did with all his friends. 

But everytime Shinwon said something remotely funny, Hyunggu clung to your arm or leaned his head against your shoulder, unable to contain his laughter. There was no use reading anything into it, heck, he probably didn't even realize he was doing this. But it made your heart ache for something more, for something real.

As the evening went on, the little get-together started to thin out, one after the other going back to their rooms to call it a night. Hongseok was already passed out on the floor, the shot of soju he'd had already too much. Giggling, Changgu and Shinwon tried to maneuver him out of the living room and into his bed, accompanied by Hui who couldn't quite settle between worrying and giggling along.

Everyone else looked tired too and you also felt fatigue overcome you. Maybe you'd had a little too much to drink as well or maybe you'd gotten too used to the proximity between the two of you all evening. Either way, you leaned your head against Hyunggu's shoulder and closed your eyes for a bit, not even giving it a second thought.

“You can go ahead to sleep,” you heard Hyunggu say, probably to Wooseok and whoever else hadn't left yet. “I'll take care of the chaos and then we'll head up too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, don't worry.”

“Alright. Sleep well.”

You heard the shuffling of steps, but in your drowsy state it sounded a little distant.

When it was quiet again, you suddenly felt fingers ghosting over your temple, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Are you asleep?” Hyunggu's voice was quiet and soft, almost a whisper.

“Mhm.”

Hyunggu carefully steadied your head with his hands, before moving away from where he’d been next to you. You groaned in protest when you lost your human pillow, which was met with a chuckle. 

“Don't you think sleeping in bed would be more comfortable?”

A pout on your face, you blinked your eyes open. Hyunggu was crouching down in front of you, his hands still cupping your face. 

“Let's get you to bed, alright?”

“You said we'd clean up,” you mumbled.

“Oh, so you were awake enough to hear that, huh?” He huffed a laugh and shook his head. “I said I would clean up though. Not we. You can sleep first, Buttercup.”

“No.”

“Come on, you're tired, y/n.”

“Mh-mhm.” You shook your head but your eyes fell shut again, refuting your denial.

Hyunggu sighed but he didn't sound annoyed. “Why not? I'll come up just a little later.”

“Will you though?”

“Eh?”

“If I go to bed now,” you mumbled, taking long breaks between words. “You'll sleep on the couch again and I'll wake up all alone.”

“That's what you're worried about?” He sounded genuinely surprised but couldn't contain a chuckle. 

You frowned. “Don't make fun of me.”

“I would never.” 

His thumbs brushed over your cheek before his hands wandered to yours, pulling you up from the floor. Once again you were groaning in protest but he wasn't having any of it, helping you onto your feet. You promptly fell into his chest, but he held you steady, one arm wrapping around your waist.

“I guess cleaning can wait until tomorrow morning after all.”

You couldn't really recall how you got up the stairs but suddenly you were sitting on the bed, your pajamas in your lap while Hyunggu gathered some things from his bag and went to the door.

“You're coming back this time, right?” You weren't sure why you were so hung up on this. Maybe you could blame it on the alcohol later.

“I'm coming back, y/n. Now get changed.”

With that he left the room.

You discarded your clothes of the day on the floor, slipped into your pajamas and crawled under the blanket. 

Somehow, now that you were laying in bed, waiting for Hyunggu to come back, you were feeling awake again, wondering if this had really been the best idea.

You tossed and turned, unsure how to behave. Maybe it'd be best to pretend to be asleep already?

After a few restless minutes, you heard a faint knock on the door. “Y/n, can I come in?”

You instinctively squeezed your eyes shut, not replying. He waited a little longer before you heard the sound of the door opening and him coming into the room. You kept your eyes closed, expecting to feel the mattress dip any second. But it didn't happen. Maybe he left after all?

You blinked one eye open to sneak a peek, just to find him standing right there, staring at the bed, seemingly contemplating something. 

“What?” you asked when he still didn't move after another few seconds. There went your plan of pretending to be asleep.

“Should I get one of the woolen blankets from downstairs?”

It took you a moment to realize that there was only one big blanket. He was asking if you were okay with sharing it or not.

You swallowed, trying to ignore the pounding in your chest. “It's fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Totally.”

He laid down next to, leaving enough space for your bodies not to touch. Still, you felt the warmth radiating off him and it didn't help calm your nerves.

Hyunggu turned off the bedside lamp before he rolled around to lay on his side, facing you. Even through the dark you could see that he was looking at you, a pensive expression on his face. You returned his gaze, not daring to disturb the silence of the room. His gaze made you nervous. You couldn't read him, couldn’t tell what was going on in his head.

Eventually, you broke eye contact with a breathy chuckle. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” your question was barely a whisper, and even that felt too loud.

“Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“You.”

You almost gasped, his response catching you off guard. Heat rose to your cheeks but you tried to play it cool, pretending that his words didn't do anything to you. 

“You're so embarrassing.”

He didn't seem very impressed by your attempt at acting. 

“Says the one who kept clinging to me tonight, who begged me not to sleep on the couch.”

“I didn't beg!” you denied just a little bit too loud, earning a raised eyebrow from Hyunggu. 

“I didn't beg,” you repeated, quietly this time.

“Sure did.”

“I was worried about your back. Since you're my driver and all. Just for my own safety.”

“We have enough cars, who said you're driving back with me tomorrow?” A challenging gleam appeared in his eyes and he inched just a little closer. 

“Am I not?” You tried to make it sound cocky but your voice came out breathless.

“Hm, I don’t know.” He chuckled and you felt his breath fanning over your lips when he did. “If you beg me again I might consider driving you.”

“I already told you, I didn’t beg.”

His gaze wandered to your lips before coming back to your eyes. “Keep deluding yourself.”

You swallowed, your gaze automatically dropping to his lips. 

“I’m… not…” You trailed off, unable to focus on anything but his mouth so close to your own. If you just leaned in a little, a tiny bit—

Before you knew it, you felt his lips against yours. You weren’t sure if you’d closed the gap or if he did, but it hardly mattered. All that mattered was how sweetly he kissed you, his hands finding their way to your waist to hold you close. Hyunggu rolled over onto his back, pulling you on top of him. For a moment you looked into his dark eyes that stared right back at you and you wondered why it had taken you so long to do this. Before you could contemplate the wasted time any longer, Hyunggu leaned up to kiss you again. You sighed into his lips,  your hands wandering to his hips and pushing up the fabric of his shirt.

“Wait.” Hyunggu broke the kiss, gently prying off your hands.

“You don’t want to?” You asked, but before the question was all out you already knew the answer. Of course he didn’t. This was all fake, he wasn’t actually into you.

It was like you’d been hit in the face with the reality of the situation. You felt stupid and embarrassed and you wanted to escape.

You tried pulling your hands away, but Hyunggu held onto them.

“Hey,” he whispered softly, trying to meet your gaze.

“Let me go,” you choked out, already feeling the tears well up in your eyes.

“Y/n, look at me.”

“Let me go,” you repeated like a broken record. You flailed your arms in an attempt to get free, but he easily stopped you,  rolling both of you over and pinning your wrists to the mattress.

“Look at me,” he repeated with a little more urgency.

You shook your head, tears starting to spill out and run down your cheeks.

“Please?”

Reluctantly you obliged, raising your gaze to meet his. A soft smile tugged at his lips and he let go off your wrists to cup your face instead. His thumb brushed away the tears running down your cheeks.

“You know I’m not rejecting you, right?”

You shrugged, not quite believing his words.

“You’re drunk,” he continued. “You’re drunk and you’re tired, so I don’t think we should be doing this. But I’m not rejecting you. Okay?”

“Okay,” you choked out.

He chuckled, his thumb coming up to easen the deep crease that was still apparent between your eyebrows. “Then stop frowning like that, hm, Buttercup?”

“Just—you know—” You interrupted yourself, still feeling terribly stupid about all of this.

“Tell me.”

You shrugged again, trying to look anywhere but his face. “Got me feeling a little lonely I guess.”

“Y/n, you’re not alone.”

“Then why does it feel that way?”

“You’re not.” He leaned in, his lips brushing your temple in a soft kiss, before his lips moved onto the other side. “Even if it feels that way, I promise you're not alone.” He left another kiss on your forehead. “I’m right here.”

You sniffed. “It's easy to say that now. But this will be over tomorrow and we'll go back to being nothing.”

He frowned, but the expression was gone again in a split second, replaced with a gentle smile. 

“We don't have to be nothing, Buttercup.” He whispered, just to correct himself a moment later. “We won't be nothing.”

He let himself fall onto the mattress next to you, opening his arms for you to snuggle into. As soon as you did, they wrapped around you, his fingers drawing soft patterns onto your back. His mouth kept whispering words of reassurance and his lips kept leaving little pecks and kisses on the crown of your head. You relaxed into his embrace, feeling yourself slowly calm down and drift off to sleep.

When you woke up the next morning, you felt a little disoriented, needing a moment to remember what happened last night and to realize that you were still wrapped up in Hyunggu's arms.

You felt your face growing hot from embarrassment and tried to wriggle yourself out of his arms without waking him. But as soon as you stirred he made a small sighing noise and pulled you even closer.

“Just a little longer,” he mumbled, seemingly still half asleep. 

At a loss for words or any kind of reaction really, you just resigned for now, letting him hug you close until he'd wake up properly. If you couldn't sneak out, maybe you'd at least get the satisfaction of not being the only one feeling embarrassed and ashamed.

Of course you'd forgotten to factor in Hyunggu's annoying amount of confidence. When he finally did wake up he moved back a little, looking at you with a smile that was definitely too bright for someone who'd still been asleep a minute ago.

"Hey." 

He pushed a strand of hair out of your forehead. 

"Hey."

For a while you just looked at each other, his gaze on you so fond it made your heart ache. You swallowed around the lump in your throat, trying to remind yourself that not being nothing didn't mean that you’d be a something.

Muffled noises were coming from the hallway, the sound of steps running up and down the stairs.

“Everyone's awake already,” you mumbled, trying once more to push yourself out of his embrace.

“What about it?” He asked, not letting you go.

“We should get up too. I'm sure they'll want to leave soon.”

Hyunggu shrugged. “Let them.”

“Hyunggu, please,” you complained and this time managed to wriggle yourself out of his grasp.

You slipped out of bed and made your way to the hallway, where you were met with a way too chipper Changgu.

“Guess the lovebirds overslept, huh?” Seeing your tousled, sleepy state he chuckled. “Good timing, I was just about to come wake you up.”

“Yeah, we're up now…” 

You looked around and realized that most rooms were empty already. Wooseok made his way down the stairs, his bag slung over his shoulder.

“Why is everyone in such a hurry?” You asked in confusion, earning another laugh from Changgu.

“It's almost 10:00, y/n. We wanted to leave at 9:30.”

“Oh. Fuck.”

He shrugged before ruffling your already tousled hair. 

“Don't worry about it. We already cleaned up, so just take care of your room and make sure to be out by 11.”

With that he started making his way down the stairs as well, turning around again when he was halfway down. 

“And don't forget to lock up when you go.”

“Wait, Changgu—”

But he didn't stop and soon was out of sight. 

“See you on Monday, y/n,” he shouted from downstairs. And then you heard the front door fall shut, leaving an eerie silence in the house.

You tiptoed back to your room, finding Hyunggu exactly how you'd left him, curled up in bed.

Helplessly you just stood in the door frame for a bit, until he turned around to you with a scrunched up face. 

“What's up?”

“Everyone left.”

“Mhm.” He patted the spot next to him on the mattress. “Perfect, let's sleep a little longer then.”

“We have to be out in an hour.”

He groaned but pulled back the blanket and sat up. “You're such a spoilsport, y/n.”

The two of you got ready to go, cleaning up your room and packing up your things. Just as Changgu had said, the kitchen and living room were already all cleaned up and it made you feel a little guilty—especially since Hyunggu had promised to clean yesterday.

Hyunggu didn't seem to struggle with the same pricks of conscience; he was in a good mood, humming softly the whole time.

After loading his car, he checked the front door, making sure it was locked properly, before plopping down on the driver's seat of his car.

Since you hadn't had any breakfast yet, the two of you stopped for a coffee along the ride. Hyunggu had asked if you wanted to sit down to eat somewhere, but you'd declined in favor of getting home more quickly. Or maybe just to keep yourself from getting more delusional.

So, Hyunggu pulled into the parking lot of a café and quickly hopped in while you waited in the car for him to come back.

He soon returned with the coffee and two croissants for the both of you, handing them to you when he got back into the car.

“Sorry, not the most copious breakfast, but better than nothing.”

You laughed dryly. “It's fine Hyunggu. It's not like this is a date or anything. I'm not your girlfriend anymore, remember?”

He looked taken aback for a moment, before he turned away from you to start the motor. 

“Right.”

You wondered if you'd said something wrong, because his good mood from before seemed to be washed away. Instead, you were once again stuck in a silent car together, feeling tense and anxious. The rest of the ride was quiet, except for the music coming from the speakers. He didn't hum along.

You silently sipped on your coffee and munched on your croissant, well aware Hyunggu left his own breakfast untouched but not daring to speak up about it.

When you reached your house he turned off the motor, the music stopping as well.

You didn't move, feeling uneasy to leave things like this.

“Uhm, thanks for the ride,” you mumbled after a while, your gaze focused on your hands.

“Sure.” He unbuckled his seatbelt. “I'll help you get your things.”

“It's fine, I can do it.”

But Hyunggu had already gotten out of the car.

You trailed behind, watching helplessly as he got your bag out and walked towards your house. He stopped in front of the door, a bit to the side to give you the space to unlock it.

But you didn't move, too afraid that opening the door meant leaving things like this.

“Forgot your keys?” He asked after a while.

You shook your head, reluctantly fishing them from your pocket. Right before putting the key into the lock  you stopped, turning around to face him.

“I'm sorry,” you blurted out.

He huffed a tired laugh. “What for?”

“I don't know... Just—I feel like I said something wrong.”

“It's not that. I just misunderstood your intentions. But it's fine, really.”

He held out your bag for you to take but you just stared at him, searching for something in his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“It doesn't matter, y/n. Don't worry about it.”

You swallowed around the lump inside your throat and finally took the bag from him. He raised his hand in a small wave before turning around and walking to his car, leaving you feeling anxious.

You couldn't shake the uneasy feeling for the rest of the day. You considered texting him but maybe he needed some space?

Unable to calm your nerves, you went to bed early, hoping to shut your thoughts out.  But it wasn't working, not when your bed felt so lonely and cold now that you had to sleep alone. It was ridiculous to feel that way; it'd only been one night. But his arms around you had been so warm, so comforting that you already missed them. You tossed and turned for hours, and when sleep finally found you the sun had already started to rise again.

The next day you were tired and miserable, your mind wandering back to Hyunggu and your cold farewell from yesterday the second you woke up.

You wanted to skip college, not really in the mood to deal with people right now. But in the hopes of meeting Hyunggu and being able to clear things up, you dragged yourself out of bed and got ready.

To your surprise though, Hyunggu wasn't in the class you shared and you also didn't see him in the cafeteria. You knew you could ask your friends if they'd seen him but you weren't really in the mood to answer any of their questions.

Maybe his skipping class had nothing to do with you at all, but your gut feeling told you he was avoiding you. It hurt.

You briefly wondered if that was how Hyunggu had felt when you’d ignored him after the party. Maybe this was karma.

You weren't feeling too optimistic, but you still decided to check the atelier, hoping that maybe Hyunggu would be there. To your surprise he really was, sitting in front of an easel and working on a painting. He didn’t even look up when you entered the room and closed the door behind you.

“Hyunggu.”

He glanced over but immediately turned his focus back to his brush. 

“Hey,” he replied curtly, letting the room fall silent again.

“Can we talk?”

“I'm kinda busy right now.” He gestured at his painting. “The deadline is soon.”

You knew it was a lie but you nodded anyway, stepping a little further into the room.

“Then maybe we could have a coffee this weekend—”

“Y/n,” He sighed, setting the brush aside to look at you. “Just give me some time, alright?”

You swallowed, unsure what to say.

Of course, you should give him the space he needed. But it just felt so unsettling. It felt like you'd lose him if you didn't hold onto him now.

"I'm sorry," you said, surprised by how choked up your own voice sounded. “It's just—” 

You took a deep breath. “You said we won't be nothing. But why does it feel that way now?”

“I thought you hated my guts anyway.”

You weren't sure if it was supposed to be a joke or not. It didn't sound like one.

“Hate is such a strong word.”

A tired laugh slipped past his lips. “You got me there.”

You started to get frustrated, unsure how to fix this. It almost felt as if your words didn't matter at all, as if they didn't reach him anyway.

Tears started gathering in your eyes but you tried your best not to cry.

“So can we just—” 

You interrupted yourself, not confident to keep from crying if you continued. It wasn't fair that things were like this. You hadn't meant for things to turn out this way.

“I miss you,” you eventually blurted out and with it your tears started to spill. You didn't care anymore, letting them run down your cheeks. 

“It's only been a day but I already miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss being with you. I don't want us to be nothing.”

Hyunggu's gaze immediately softened and he stood up to walk over to you. He reached out his hands, gently cupping your face and wiping your tears away.

“I got it,” he whispered and he looked so in pain, as if seeing you like this made his heart ache just as much as yours. “I got it. We won't be nothing. So don't cry, Buttercup.”

“I'm sorry,” you choked out between sobs. “I'm sorry if I said something wrong. I'm sorry if I hurt you.”

He hummed in reply, pulling you against his chest. “It's okay already. Don't worry.”

He drew soft patterns onto your back to calm you, just like he did that last night on the trip. You weren't sure for how long you stood there, but the whole time he held you close, patiently waiting for you to calm down.

When you finally calmed down a bit, you knew you should probably let go of him. But you didn't want to leave his embrace, not when it felt so warm and comforting. He must have noticed that you'd stopped crying, but he didn't let go either, his fingers still running over your back.

“Should I drive you home?” He asked eventually.

You nodded and reluctantly peeled yourself out of his arms. “Thank you.”

“Let me just gather my things real quick, hm?”

He packed up his equipment and then slung his bag over his shoulder.

“Let's go?”

Before you could reply he just took your hand and pulled you along, out of the atelier and then out of the building to the parking lots. You kept your eyes on the ground, feeling self conscious both about your tear stained face and the fact that Hyunggu was holding your hand.

Of course the latter didn't make a lot of sense, not when all your friends thought you were dating anyway, but you couldn't help it.

The ride home was quiet again, but it was a different quiet. It wasn't filled with the uncomfortable tension from before. He wasn't angry or cold, he was just calm.

Nevertheless, you felt a little nervous. Of course you were relieved that you somehow managed to patch things up between the two of you, but you weren't entirely sure what all of this meant. The whole fake dating thing was supposed to be over, but the way he'd treated you didn't exactly seem platonic—or were you just reading too much into this? Was he just being nice? Hyunggu was an affectionate person by nature after all, maybe he just wanted to comfort you as a friend.

“We're here,” Hyunggu said once you’d reached your house.

“We're here,” you repeated but you didn't move. You didn't want to part yet but you also didn't have a good excuse to stay.

For a moment you sat in silence, before Hyunggu spoke up again.

“Should I help you with your things?”

You glanced at your things: a small backpack you'd put between your feet and your coat that laid in your lap. There wasn't really anything to help with, you knew that and Hyunggu knew it too.

You looked back up at him. 

“Sure.”

Both of you got out of his car and he slung your backpack over his shoulder as you made your way to the door. The scene felt familiar, him carrying your bag and all. You didn't want to end it the same way though, you didn't want him to leave again.

After unlocking your door, you turned around to him before pushing it open. 

“Uhm, do you want to come in for a coffee?”

The moment you asked he broke into a bright smile that made your heart race.

"I'd love to."

You felt a little self-conscious about letting him into your flat—you hadn't specifically cleaned up and while it wasn't a complete mess it also wasn't particularly tidy either.

Hyunggu didn't seem to mind. He looked around with curious eyes, taking in the way you decorated your home without being too nosy.

“Sorry I didn't—it's a little chaotic,” you mumbled watching him.

“No, don't be, I like your home.” He smiled. “It's comfortable.”

Maybe he was just being polite, but somehow it made your heart flutter to hear him say that. 

After you were done making coffee, you moved to your living room and sat on the couch. The two of you talked a bit, all the while sipping on your coffee. There wasn’t any particular topic, you talked about this and that, from college or your friends to one of the paintings on your wall that Hyunggu commented on. Despite the random topics, it felt easy and comfortable. You were so used to the endless banter between the two of you, it was nice to  know you could talk to each other casually —without any teasing. Without any crying too.

You tried to drink your coffee slowly, knowing full well that once the two of you had emptied your cups there was no reason for Hyunggu to stay any longer. Hyunggu took his time as well, purposely or not, but eventually you were done; two empty cups on your coffee table.

Hyunggu looked at them pensively, then glanced at his watch.

You knew what was coming.

You didn't want him to leave.

He turned to you. “Maybe I should—”

“Do you want to watch a movie?” You blurted out, interrupting him.

He almost looked relieved. “Yeah.”

You put on a random movie that Netflix recommended to you and it wasn't as bad as you would have expected. From time to time either of you commented on something that made the other giggle. You'd noticed this before, especially when your other friends were around, but it was easy to make Hyunggu laugh. And god, were you thankful for that. You loved the sound of it and you loved the little creases that would form in the corners of his eyes and how he’d push out his chin.

When the movie was almost over your stomach decided it was a good moment to ask for attention.

Hyunggu grinned. “Am I keeping you from having dinner, Buttercup?”

You shrugged, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. “I didn't have a lot for lunch,” you explained, embarrassed.

“Should we order something? That is, if you don't mind having me around for dinner?”

“Let's order.”

The food hadn't arrived yet when the movie ended, so you started another one that you continued after the food came.

Hyunggu was more relaxed with you again. It showed in his laughter and in the way his hand kept finding your arm or your thigh, casually touching you as he spoke.

It wasn't that you didn't know this side of him—you'd seen it plenty when you all hung out with your friends. But it'd never been this way when it was just the two of you; he'd never let his guard down like this with you before. It made your heart yearn for more. You wanted to be able to always have this, not just tonight.

“It's gotten pretty late, huh?” Hyunggu commented eventually—your dinner long eaten and the end credits rolling over your TV screen.

You swallowed. “I guess so.”

“Should I—,” he hesitated. “Maybe it's time for me to go?”

No, you thought. “Maybe,” you replied. 

For a moment it was quiet, neither of you saying anything. You just looked at each other, as if both of you waited for the other to make a move.

You swallowed again, your heart racing like crazy under his gaze. “Is it bad if I don't want you to go?”

A soft smile played on his lips. “Is it bad if I don’t want to go?”

“Not at all.”

The two of you started another movie, but you got unbearably tired before the movie was even halfway through. When your eyes involuntarily closed once more, Hyunggu chuckled softly.

“Maybe we should call it a day?”

You nodded, turning off the movie and standing up to go to the bedroom. Hyunggu followed you to the hallway, but from there he stopped, looking a little unsure, his eyes wandering between you and his shoes that were sitting close to the entrance.

You looked at him with a sleepy frown. "You're not coming?"

“No, uh, sure.” He cocked his head from one side to the other and you wondered if it was a nervous habit of his.

You got bed ready—as best as you could with Hyunggu not having anything with him—before you settled into your bed. There was a polite distance between the two of you and it made you feel a little lonely and unsatisfied but you didn't know what to do to fix it.

After staring at the ceiling for a while you turned around, examining his side profile through the dark.

"Hyunggu?" you mumbled eventually, your voice trembling with nerves.

He turned around to face you. "Mhm?" 

You took your time with saying anything else, unsure what it even was you wanted to say. Hyunggu didn't rush you though, he just looked at you attentively, waiting for you to go on.

Your gaze kept flickering, unable to hold eye contact but also not capable of looking away for good. 

“I'm cold.”

You thought you saw a soft smile on his face when he opened his arms for you to snuggle into.

You looked up at him through the darkness, your faces mere inches apart. He looked right back, holding your gaze.

“I like when you look at me like that,” he whispered, not breaking eye contact.

“Like what?”

“Like that.” You felt his lips grazing yours, just the ghost of a touch, before he pulled away again, his eyes searching yours for consent.

In a silent reply, you leaned in to close the gap. Your lips moved together, gently at first but then more and more greedily. It hadn’t been long since you’d kissed him, but doing it now made you realize how much you’d been longing to do it again. 

He pulled you close, one hand cupping your jaw while the other found its way to your hip, grazing the skin underneath your shirt.

“I’m not drunk now,” you whispered against his lips, your fingers tugging at the waistband of his underwear.

He pulled away and for a brief second you were overcome with a sense of deja vu, the fear of getting rejected rushing through you again.

But he didn’t go far, his hand still cupping your face when he replied. “And tomorrow?”

“What about tomorrow?”

“Will you let me take you on a date then?” His lips briefly grazed yours before he continued. “Or will we be nothing again?”

Your heart was racing in your chest like crazy. You nodded hastily. “Yeah. No.”

“Which one is it?”

“No, you can. You can. Take me on a date.” You felt him smile against your lips before he kissed you again. “Okay.” 

Hyunggu didn’t stop kissing you, not even when he rolled over, bracing himself up on one arm to hover above you. His fingers wandered underneath the fabric of your shirt, grazing your skin with featherlight touches that left goosebumps in their wake. You sighed into his lips which just egged him on more, if the way his fingers got bolder was anything to go by. He pushed up your shirt until the fabric was bunching over your collar bones, most of your upper body exposed to him. He grinned mischievously, pressing a kiss onto the corner of your mouth, before his lips traveled down your jaw to your bare chest. While his mouth kept teasing your skin, his hand moved on to your shorts, softly tugging at the waistband.

“This okay?” he mumbled into your skin.

When you nodded, he dipped his fingers into your pants. A small gasp escaped your lips when you felt him touching you through the thin material of your underwear. Your hands instinctively moved to his shoulders.

"Off," you complained, tugging on the fabric of his shirt. "I wanna touch you too."

Hyunggu lifted his head to look at you, something like surprise in his eyes that quickly gave way to a soft smile.

"Then I shouldn't stop you, hm?"

He left a small peck on your cheek before sitting up and slipping out of his shirt and tossing it aside. The fabric had barely hit the ground when you pulled him in again. You kissed him, your hands running over the expanse of his back, marveling at the feeling of his warm skin against your own.

"Better?" He mumbled into your lips and you could hear the grin in his voice.

"Much better."

Your hands traveled over his skin to his hips, sneaking into his boxer briefs. He let out a soft sigh when you touched him and you couldn’t help wanting to hear more of his voice. You moved your hands experimentally, in awe of his little gasps and moans.

Suddenly, his fingers clasped onto yours, making you halt in your movements.

“Let me take care of you first,” he whispered, his breathing slightly erratic.

“But I don’t want to be the only one enjoying this.” You almost pouted a little and it drew a breathy chuckle from him.

“Oh, I’m enjoying this plenty; don’t worry, Buttercup.”

His hand once more found its way to the waistband of your shorts, hooking one finger underneath and letting it snap back onto your skin.

“Should we get rid of these?”

You nodded, as your hands impatiently moved to help him take them off, pushing your underwear down as well. Hyunggu pulled them all the way down, gently lifting your legs to remove them completely. Before he set your legs back down onto the mattress, he left gentle pecks on your ankles and then your knees, as he crawled up between them. His lips continued their path, leaving a trail of kisses on your inner thigh. Once he’d reached his destination, he looked up at you with round eyes.

“May I?” 

You swallowed, anticipation rushing through your body. “Yeah.”

A smile spread on his lips. His hands took hold of your thighs, gently urging them to open a little more and give him access. Just feeling his breath against your skin already made you shudder, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of his mouth on you. He made you fall apart so easily, his every move making you tremble. Your hands clung to his shoulders, instinctively trying to pull him in more as you felt the knot starting to build in your lower stomach. 

“Feels good,” you babbled thoughtlessly, followed by a string of moans.

Hyunggu pulled away to meet your gaze, his hand taking the place of his mouth to keep you on edge. 

“You close, Buttercup?”

You barely managed to breathe out a reply, unable to focus on anything but the way he touched you. He pecked your thigh once more, before moving in again, his tongue and lips getting back to work. It was all you could do to hold onto him as he sent you over the edge. Your fingers clung to his shoulders, as he helped you ride out your high, probably leaving scratch marks in their wake, but you were too far gone to notice. 

Once you’d come down a little, he scooted back up to look at you. His eyes were so full of awe, gazing at you as if you were the most beautiful thing in the world and for the moment you could almost believe it yourself.

When he still didn’t avert his gaze nor say anything after a few seconds, you self-consciously turned your head away.

“No, don’t,” he whispered softly, cupping your jaw to make you face him again. “Let me look at you.”

You let out a timid laugh. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Yeah.” He pecked your cheek. “It is.”

You wanted to complain, but he was looking at you with such a gentle expression, you couldn’t bring yourself to.

“But it’s okay,” he continued. “You’re safe with me.”

When you woke up, you were still wrapped up in Hyunggu’s arms. You instinctively snuggled a little closer which was met with a warm chuckle.

Still sleepy, you raised your head to look at him. Hyunggu was already awake, watching you with fond eyes.

“"Did you sleep well?”

You made an affirmative noise before you tucked yourself back into his chest.

“We should get ready for classes.”

You shook your head. 

“You want to skip, Buttercup?”

“Just for today.” 

You didn't want to let him go yet, you needed to stay in his warm embrace as long as possible.

“And people say I'm the bad influence.” Hyunggu huffed a laugh but his arms pulled you closer, one of his hands running over your back.

You must have drifted off to sleep again, because the next time you blinked your eyes open, you were laying on Hyunggu's chest, one of his arms loosely on your back while your own arm was slung around his waist. Hyunggu had fallen asleep again too, his breathing coming in even puffs. 

You gazed at his sleeping form, taking in every little detail of his face, from his full lips to his dark lashes. He was beautiful.

Without giving it much thought, your fingers ghosted over his skin, moving from one faint mole to the next. You'd never noticed that he had so many. Of course you had seen the one below his eye, but there was another one on his cheek, the tip of his nose, under his mouth, on his lip—

“What are you doing?”

Hyunggu looked at you through sleepy eyes. Before you could draw back your hand, his fingers wrapped around it and pulled it to his chest.

“Hmm?” He raised an eyebrow when you still didn't reply.

You averted your eyes, heat tingling under your skin. 

“Just,” you shrugged. “You have a lot of birthmarks.”

“You don't like them?”

“I do. They are pretty.”

He broke into a smile, little creases forming in the corners of his eyes. You thought you could get used to this sight in the morning.

Hyunggu rolled over to his side, his face incredibly close to your own.

“You know what else is pretty?” He whispered, his gaze not leaving you. 

“Your eyes,” he whispered with a charming grin, leaving a peck on the corner of your eye. “And your nose,” he continued, leaving a peck there too.

“And your lips.” He cupped your face to kiss you and you couldn’t help giggling into it.

He pulled away, eyeing you fondly. “But you know what’s the prettiest?”

“Hm?”

“The way you look at me,” he pecked your lips again. “That's the prettiest.”

“You said that yesterday. How do I look at you?”

“As if you're in love with me.”

You felt your breathing catch in your throat. You’d understood the meaning behind yesterday’s words, but you hadn’t expected him to address the matter so easily.

“Are you not?” He asked, when you stayed silent.

“I—No—”

“No?”

You blinked at him slowly, unsure what to say, too scared to just put the answer out there.

“Do you want me to make it easier for you?” Hyunggu whispered against your lips. He didn’t wait for your reply before he continued. “I am. I’m in love with you, y/n.”

You felt as if your heart was going to burst. You stared at him with wide eyes and he just looked back at you with a gentle expression.

“So?” He asked, the word tickling on your skin.

“Yeah,” you breathed. “Me too.”

He kissed you again then, a happy smile on his lips.

“I made up my mind,” he mumbled after a while, both of you still cuddled up in your bed.

“What do you mean?”

He turned his head to look at you. “The favor. I know what I want now.”

“So what do you want?”

“A date. A proper one.”

“Didn’t we already agree on that yesterday?”

“Better to pin you down on it.”

“Pin me down then.”

“Is that a challenge?” He raised an eyebrow. “Or an invitation?”

You shrugged, unable to contain a giggle. “Try and find out?”

He didn’t need to be told twice. In a swift movement he flipped you over, his hands pinning your wrists to the mattress.

“Either way,” he mumbled against your lips with a smug grin. “Seems like I won.”

You grinned back before you leaned up to kiss him. “I guess so.” 

Masterlist

[tinycatstars]

Hi! Late to the writing rq'ing party probably because I'm Nervous tm but if its cool to ask for VE as well, can I ask for little Murrit and little Dismas, maybe destressing together after a rough day? I hc Murrit really likes bunnies and Dismas loves dragons, I think they'd like to share their plushies with each other. :}

-comfybuckets

AAA OMG!!! u are one of my fav ao3 authors !! i literally luv ur work so much, its actually what originally got me into ve !!! :D

i really hope u like this! its loosely based off of some of ur fics lol but yeaaa ! <3 <3

also lil warning there is some cussing in this btw !

Dismas’s day had been awful. 

He had been running from his lusus all day, finally taking refuge in a small cavern situated near his hive. It was just deep enough that the troll could hide in it without being spotted. He sat on the ground, trying to catch his breath and calm himself down. Small scratches covered Dismas’s body from falling earlier, but other than that, he was okay. 

The troll was just so, so tired. Tired from running, tired from the constant fear and adrenaline running in his body, tired of the stupid skulltitan that was always hunting him down. He wanted nothing more than to be somewhere soft, welcoming, and comforting. Somewhere familiar, somewhere that wasn’t here.

As much as he pained to admit it, he wanted to be with his kismesis. He missed Murrit, with his stupid endearing smile and his stupid comforting hive. 

While adult Dismas wanted to pretend like he didn’t need the other, little Dizzy just wanted to curl up in Murrit’s arms and cry, letting out his fear and frustration. He learned a while ago that the other troll had a surprising soft side that not many got to see often. A side that was really only meant for little Dizzy to see.

Dismas huffed, pulling out his phone from his pant’s pocket. He opens Skorp, and after a moment of hesitation, he begins to message Murrit.

gigantisDebilitation [GD] began trolling unclaspedKahuna [UK] at 6:37 PM

GD: Hey///

GD: /\re you /\t your hive?///

UK: >([ya w#at do u want]

GD: C/\n I come over?///

UK: >([i mean yea sure y t#o?]

UK: >([r u like? ok? srsly?]

GD: Ye/\h just///

GD: I need to get /\w/\y for /\ bit///

The troll cringed at his own message. What he really wanted to say was, “Hey, I really need to get away from this stupid fucking lizard and be small with you, please let me come over”, but Dismas knew he couldn’t send that. That would definitely freak Murrit out.

He takes another breath, quickly typing out another message before Murrit could respond to his last.

GD: My d/\y h/\s just been re/\lly b/\d /\nd I need some time to regress///

GD: /\nd I’d r/\ther do it with you///

GD: If th/\t’s ok/\y///

Dismas internally kicks himself. He really hopes Murrit doesn’t say anything about how desperate he sounded to come over.

UK: >([tb# ive felt p itty bity 2 today]

UK: >([so ya come over n we can c#ill]

UK: >([we can b small toget#errr lolol]

GD: Ok/\y///

gigantisDebilitation [GD] gave up trolling unclaspedKahuna [UK] at 6:51 PM

The troll lets out a sigh of relief. With only minimal grunting, Dismas got up from his spot and headed towards his hive to grab his spare go bag, which was home to all his little supplies. 

His body aches as he runs, but he knows it’ll be worth it if he can just get to Murrit’s house.

…

Murrit’s head hurt. A lot.

As much as she’d like to record the fight between shitlizard and Dismas, she really didn’t feel like it. The whole “fun exploitation theatrics” wasn’t sitting right with Murrit today, for some odd reason. Something about it made their stomach hurt, whether it was from the guilt or the blood, he wasn’t sure.

Still, they sat at their desk, staring at the screens in front of her. Her eyes burned from looking into them, studying them intently. He didn’t sleep the night before, just glaring blindly at the monitors until his vision went blurry. Despite how they acted, they really did care for their friends. That’s why she had to stay up, to make sure they all stay safe.

Especially Dismas, but he ignores that thought. She could only watch so much of today’s brawl before she switched to watching another camera, one that didn’t include her kismesis. They couldn’t do it today.

He just felt so off, like he wasn’t in his own body. Everything she did felt like she was puppeteering someone else into acting like a normal troll, but they weren’t a normal troll. He felt so small, smaller than he should. Sometimes it scared him when he got like this. It’s scary to go through… whatever this is alone. Some of his other friends had explained it to her before, saying that they went through it also. Something to do with trauma, or stress, or maybe both? She wasn’t sure, her head wasn't thinking straight.

But, even if being… small? Yes, that’s the word. If being small was scary, it wasn’t scary with Dismas or Albion or Sova. They all made things right, they made her feel right. 

He… he missed Dismas a lot right now. That’s why whenever the other had messaged him about coming over for some time to destress, of course she said yes. How could she not? She needed this as much as he did, and if they had to do it together, then they would. 

They can’t remember a time where she and Dismas had fallen into that headspace together. He doesn’t think they have done that before. It should be ok, right?

Murrit was doubting themselves. Her head is hurting badly now, the pounding of the migraine overtaking her thoughts. She lays her head down on the desk, closing his eyes to try to calm down. He couldn’t bring himself to move and get his medication, so this would have to do.

Breathe in, breathe out. It’s ok, you’re ok, Dizzy is on his way. He can help. 

They stayed like that for a while, eyes screwed shut to keep out any light that was coming from the computer screens, head resting on the desk. He was finally starting to calm himself down before Dismas arrived. They’d hate to put any more stress on the other troll by freaking out once he got here.

After a while, Murrit hears a knock at the door, causing the troll to jump in her seat. He gets up too fast, almost tripping on the way to unlock the door to their hive. 

As soon as the door is opened, Dismas stumbles into Murrit, wrapping his arms tightly around the other to encase her in a hug. Murrit hugs the other back, holding him gently. He was shaking, and even though no noise was escaping the boy, they could tell he was crying. Murrit tightens the hug, holding Dizzy close and allowing the other to sob into her shoulder. Murry had started to let her own tears fall, mostly out of relief that Dizzy was here, but some out of pain. Their migraine had gotten really bad, their head throbbing from every quiet cry she had let out.

The two sat like that for a while, crying and holding each other to comfort one another. It wasn’t until their sobs had quieted when they pulled away. Dizzy looked… bad. Some of his clothes were ripped up, his bandana falling down his face, his hair sticking up in every other direction. There was still fear in his eyes from earlier. He was clutching his overnight bag like it was a lifeline, like he was afraid he would lose it if he let go.

Murry didn’t look any better. His hair was a curly mess, his eye bags extremely prominent from the lack of sleep. Tears streaked her face, much like Dizzy’s. There was fear in her eyes as well, but not the same as Dizzy’s. Their fear was from being vulnerable, being in that headspace around others, a fear that they still hadn’t conquered.

Dizzy moves his bandana back up his face and asks “Uh… you okay?” His voice was low and quiet, and he spoke carefully as if he was still figuring out which words meant what. Murry starts to nod, before stopping himself. They shook their head slowly, a guilty look covering her face. 

“Me too”, Dizzy says. “S’ okay, though. We can just… just relax today.” Murry hums in agreement.

Dizzy looked around Murry’s hive, it was extremely hard considering how dark it was. He squinted to see the room was covered in dirty clothes, loose papers, unused electrical wiring. Despite how messy it was, it was oddly comforting to the troll. The mess showed that it was lived in, specifically by Murrit. It was kind of nice.

The younger of the two holds out her hand to Dizzy, silently asking him to take it. The older drops his bag first and then takes their hand, leading Murry throughout their own hive. Her other hand was twisted into her shirt, holding onto it for dear life. It was something Dizzy had noticed they did whenever they were nervous. He was confused about why Murry was so nervous, but didn’t say anything. They could always talk about it later, after all.

Murry lets out a quiet whine as the two are walking through the messy hive. Dizzy turns around to check on the other, only to find that the other troll’s eyes are screwed shut in pain. They moved their free hand from their shirt to their head, his palm pressed against his forehead. 

“What’s wrong?” Dizzy asks, concerned. 

Murry whines again, saying “Mm…m’ head hurts”. Dizzy frowns, ultimately deciding that their mission right now would be to go find some medicine for Murry.

The older troll squeezes Murry’s hand, then begins to lead him to the bathroom. Dizzy had been here enough times to know how to navigate through the other’s hive, even if he was feeling little and his thinkpan wasn’t working at full capacity.

He quickly found Murry’s migraine relief meds in the bathroom cabinet, only struggling a little with the child-proof cap. He hands the other regressor the pill, who just looks up at Dizzy and frowns.

“Drink”, they state, holding the pill in their first up to Dizzy.

“Oh, okay”, the older says. They head for the kitchen, with Dizzy almost tripping on a random pile of keyboards only once. He heads for the cabinets, grabbing Murry’s purple sippy cup. He smiled fondly behind his bandana, remembering how Albion had gifted this to him. She had gotten Dizzy one similar to Murry’s, except his was orange.

 He fills the little’s cup with water and hands it back to her. Murry makes a face before taking the pill, gulping down most of the water in the cup afterwards.

“What do you wanna do now?” Dizzy questions.

“Play?” Murry quietly suggests, holding his sippy back to his mouth again. He takes a few more sips, finishing the water completely and setting the cup back in the sink.

“Yeah!” the other troll agrees, running back into the other room to retrieve his bag. Murry begins to follow along before stopping once they see Dizzy running back into the kitchen. He excitedly runs back to Murry, his bag in hand.

Dizzy kneels on the floor and opens the duffle, and Murry peeks inside. He sees extra clothes, some toys, a plushie, and some other plastic, brightly colored things that Murry thinks are pacifiers and teethers. Murry joins the other on the floor, rocking back and forth as he waits for Dizzy to find whatever he was searching for.

“Murry! Look!” Dizzy exclaims, pulling out the plushie. It was a cream-colored dragon with orange eyes. The plush looks extremely squishable and soft. The dragon was in a laying down position, the kind that dogs do whenever they want to play. Murry guesses this was how the dragon let other stuffed animals know that it wanted to play, too.

The younger smiles, reaching out a hand to pet Dizzy’s comfort item. She was right, he was soft!

“Have a plush, too!” Murry says, and gets up off the floor to run to their room. Dizzy follows behind her with his dragon in hand.

Once they reach the bedroom, Murry digs through his closet to find his friend. They eventually pull out a lavender bunny plush that resembled a lionhead rabbit. It was old, like Murry had had it since she was a hatchling. Her plushie was very fluffy, it looked just as soft as Dizzy’s dragon. 

The troll pushes out the bunny for Dizzy to feel. He hesitates before sticking out his hand, petting the other’s very loved stuffed animal. Even if you couldn’t see his mouth, you could tell Dizzy was smiling. Murry was smiling right back at him, a soft laugh escaping her mouth.

The two situate themselves on the floor and begin to play, each coming up with ridiculous and impractical adventures for their little friends to go on. The bunny and dragon had become friends after the dragon had almost eaten Mr. Bunny, and now they were to travel the world together!

Murry could feel their headache melt away with all the fun they were having together. Dizzy did most of the talking, putting on silly voices for his dragon and the other people they had come across on their escapades. Murry would hum or laugh, sometimes making Mr. Bunny talk. The other regressor didn’t seem to mind how quiet Murry was, being that Dizzy could probably talk for the both of them currently.

‘We should regress together more often’, Dizzy thinks, and judging by Murry’s bright smile as they continue to play, she thought the same thing.

[daphnebowen]

hsmtmts season four episode five

WHY ARE ALL OF THEM IGNORING RICHARD even though it’s LITERALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE still that’s really rude what happened to being nice to people??? If people are genuinely like that in college I am scared

“Richard Bowen.”

”Elton John.” I LOVE THESE TWO!!!!

why does the principal care omg like stay out of her business not everyone can make every rehearsal what do you expect??

kourtneys hero is her mom! That’s the most wholesome and sweetest thing ever 🥰

if kourtneys college trip was a casual visit how come miss girl is wearing four inch heels a miniskirt and a turtleneck 🥸 not that I’m complaining, she looks amazing, but I’m just saying my feet would be KILLIN ME

”wait wait wait… YOURE working??”

ok can we talk about ej for a min?? Man has four jobs, full class schedule, is on the PING PONG TEAM (is that a thing?), is an acapella group called the blindorphins (blind orphans? Help?), has no parental support (srsly, where is his mama?) has a beard much more prominent than the one in season two, is the dork of his friend group (how????), is talking to Val (I totally ship, ngl, so if it’s just a friend thing ima hurt someone) and wears Birkenstocks. He’s a hippie. Someone help my matty poo. But good for him! Proud of ya eej!

”you do look good.” “You look… terrible.”

okay, plot hole, ej says he’s been dabbling in playing the guitar yet in season three he’s literally playing the guitar for the song “ballad of Susan fine.” So is he dabbling in other types of guitars or is a plot hole??? Because if it’s a plot hole it’s the first one I’ve noticed. and now it’s bugging me. And I can’t unsee it.

”I do not break my promises” NO YOU DONT

”for my leading lady thirty seconds.” Welp

”g force” I cant

”no is a complete sentence” thanks Quinn that’s my senior quote

YES GINA

”I’m hearing awards buzz” the only line from Mack I haven’t absolutely hated

“ all songs might be terrible, Elton.”

they’re such brothers it hurts knowing that this is like their last season together :( I wish we’d gotten more of their friendship “ooh, a capo? Fancy.” Ricky said with a proud smile 🤩 his big bro is all grown up (which is backwards, but you know what I mean)

I absolutely love this song! It’s everything we’ve ever needed and more

ricky looks so intently focused on ej he’s into it

AWWW THEYRE DUETING TOGETHER

that song really hit Ricky home huh. That’s just what he needed. I can totally see why people ship Ricky and ej because their chemistry and like, playfulness was really cute but I still see it as more of a bromance and brother relationship.

man Siri is really working miss Jenn dang

The fact that Siri is still going and recording all while miss Jenn and Carlos are talking has me bawling what if it sent the text to the theater group lmao

no Mack. You and Gina are not “best friends.” Yall are barely friends imo. Ashlyn is Gina’s best friend. Kourtney is Gina’s best friend. Ricky is Gina’s best friend (plus a lil smth else 😏😉)

the fact that she’s looking at a picture of Ricky to help her nail the chemistry 😚 true love right there

EW NASTY MACK STOP KISSING GINA Gina looks like she does not wanna be there but Mack is all in and I wanna slap him

omg big red. What happened…. Cairo… changed him?

Aw his grandma is 100! That’s so sweet

stopppp I still can’t believe it was BIG FREAKING RED

”fantastic. My girlfriend is kissing her childhood crush”

THE CAPTION HAS ME DEAD

ejs little noises “mmm.. mmmm… mmMMMMmm.” He totally disapproves huh

i love how Ricky is ranting to ej even though Gina and ej dated and ej is pretty cool with it, he’s so supportive in this season

man Ricky cannot sit still boy is constantly moving

“everyone’s only allowed to be okay, for like, ten seconds” yup pretty much sucks but true

”todd” says it like it’s the worst word ever

im tired of you losing people too Ricky - don’t worry I’m HERE FOR YOU :((

I love how big red was just like SURPRISE!! even tho Carlos is literally dying of heartbreak and he’s just like “eh it’s cool, whatever” COME ON BIG RED YOURE BETTER THAN THAT

i can’t freaking believe that big reds coming out moment was with Sebastian

I love how Ashlyn doesn’t even care herself she’s just worried about Carlos mostly TELL HIM ASH TELL HIM

bug red is so supportive 😍 he’s a number one madlyn fan I swear

honestly redlyn was one of the most non toxic couples in the show, they constantly supported each other and were there for each other, but they knew that there just wasn’t something final about them together, yes they clicked and they clicked well and so they’re better off as friends now that both of their storylines have explored other sides of their feelings and broadened “their dating pools” as Ashlyn said. So I’m glad that they’re staying friends. And were able to come to a mutual breakup. “Or maybe growing towards this” 🥹

”but what if I got it wrong?” GIRL SHE JUST TRIED TO KISS YOU ON HALLOWEEN!!! SHE WAS THE ONE TO INITIATE IT!!!

”we are 24 cups?!” The instant panic is so real

Carlos: “do you know what it’s like to be gay?” Miss Jenn: *shakes her head* 😭😭😭😭

”hiding is never the answer” yess!! This all the way

baby steps Carlos you got this hun

kourtney really is glowing , she’s so happy at Lewis

harpers shoes are super cute!

”how heavy can a steadicam be?” The steadicam guy: really heavy 😒

“you missed every one of my opening nights!” “Hollywood is different” GIRL I hate you if it weren’t for those opening nights Gina probably wouldn’t be in hollywood hate to admit it but I did

I hate Gina’s mom so much why does she feel the need to push Gina towards Mack and invite him over for dinner and make her miss rehearsals when clearly she wants to go rehearse like what? Gina doesn’t even like Mack that way!

ginas mother… I thought you said “no boys.” And here she is

the last time Carlos is gonna smile at big red “spill the international tea”

YOU KISSED MY BOYFRIEND?!?!?

”im very fond of you “ AWWW sad considering the circumstances but it’s still a sweet thing to say..

oh- mad and mad are back on again

i love how ej aaid “no” when the thunder cracked 💀

TIME FOR SOME BIG BRO EJ TOUGH LOVE AHHHH ALL FOR IT 💗

see the fact that Ricky didn’t even know about ejs dad problems and everything going on with him and Gina and still waited respectfully until Gina was ready shows his character growth. In season one he was actively interfering with nini and ejs relationship but in season three he saw Gina was happy and let her have her happiness. This is what I love about him ❤️

”you will never meet another family like the Wildcats” HITS LIKE HOME CUZ ITS OVER

”cause I miss it every single day” literally me rewatching this knowing I will never be able to go back and rewatch seasons 1 and 2 ever again 😢

Matt Cornett king of voice cracks

”she would be be with you if she didn’t see the guy you could be” YES EJ PREACH MY MAN

”if you hurt her… I will never forgive you.” The way Ricky looks up in alarm ‼️

Ej is the freaking best at pep talks man all that time with Val really taught him a lot, he’s being tough on Ricky and honest with him but he’s also being caring and gentle and I love that for the two of them, we need more bromances like this!

YES RICKY GO SPEAK YOUR MIND TO GINA PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF HEAVEN AND EARTH

YESSS A HUG

”why didn’t we hang out more in high school?” “Well maybe because you were always stealing my girlfriends” HAHAHA

awww ej is giving him his guitar!!! (He’s got good instincts)

ugh mark and spark are literally on the table

part 2 tk!

[outer-edges]

6, 24, 18💖

omg hi!!and also ty

6. Episode of TV or webisode that defined the year for you?

LOOK THERE ARE SO MANY OPTIONS HERE BUT I THINK WE REALLY GOTTA GO WITH When We Are In Need BECAUSE THATS THE EPISODE OF TLOU THAT REALLY ROTTED MY BRAIN OUT.

like, i was IN IT when i was watching the show but 1.08 was really the nail in the coffin oh my lord.

24. Did you keep any New Years Resolutions?

yes! omg i actually did im so proud of myself. i made a laundry list of resolutions with intention of keeping only a handful, but the short version of resolutions i kept includes transferring to my top choice college, getting my learners permit (still working on the whole driving thing), and maintaining my duolingo streak all year (SO FAR FINGERS CROSSED BUT IF I LOSE IT ILL DIE)

18. Most Memorable Meal

bahhhhh okay i don't have anything special for this because i unfortunately didn't get to try any super new foods this year, but i think my most memorable meal was one i had on vacation. my family went to jamaica this year, and where we stay is really out of the way in this small ass town so it takes a while to get there from the airport, esp once you throw in errands. anyway, on the ride there my parents friend brought us to a local jerk place and it was SO good. srsly brought me back to life because i HATE HATE HATE flying and driving so bad

anyway. this is getting long and i haven't even mentioned the food yet. the meal itself was pretty standard jamaican fare. curry goat, jerk chicken, peas and rice, fried plantain, and festival. but those are also some of my fave foods and top tier quality.

(honorable mention meal is also from this trip. one lunch i had was literally just easter bun + cheese sandwich and like half a jackfruit + star apples and thats pretty much all i need in life to be happy. sandwich and fruit)