#[ lmaoooo ]

[jvnelleeee]

i strive with this fever lmaoooo

[faunandfloraas]

[shotmrmiller]

being called simon's work wife by johnny is all fun and games til you start spotting the man you've never formally met in the corner of your eye.

imagine being told by a pig-headed superior to make yourself useful and go get him some coffee only to immediately start apologizing, words spilling out of his pathetic mouth like water because your johnny-proclaimed husband's looming right behind you in guard dog mode.

you mumble out a thank you, even though you're not sure what for and he just tugs your name tag.

no one talks to my wife like that.

(forget about trying to clarify that it's work wife, he's got selective hearing.)

i think it's cute til it's not. til you're at a bar, drunk, and he shows up and takes you home. you wake up in a bed that smells of gunpowder and carbolic soap, in a shirt 3x your size and a pair of oversized sweats. when you check your phone, your friend's text reads, your husband is a scary man.

(there's a fucking ring on your finger, too.)

[spirit-of-the-hollow]

🕯🕯️🕯️🕯️

🕯️ we 🕯️

🕯️ will get 🕯️

🕯️ mcr5 🕯️

🕯🕯️🕯️🕯️

like to charge reblog to cast

[septiseph]

I still find it amusing how pkmn breeding in SV happens in picnics... like, the implication of pkmn doing the do there? right in front of my salad?? and the way u can accidentally do the breeding when u just want to chill in the picnic?

[slythereen]

max: teary thank you to the team, winning his wdc, etc

charles: AND FUCK THAT GUY—

[daily-spooky]

[shiftythrifting]

it was "used - like new" btw

[rapidhighway]

favorite situation to think about lately

[assiraphales]

tumblr has the opportunity to do something EXTREMELY funny this summer

[ghostbunny-stims]

what is that? it’s the unknown!

🪞 🍫 🎭

[orion-archives]

I'm cackling like a hyena with this frame.

Look at Orion, smiling, being so precious, about to get PUNCHED out of existence by his bro.

Seconds before disaster.

[lestapppp]

[willowser]

your little angel of a son inherits katsuki's bad temper, and it manifests in his terrible fours.

there's an awful little shriek that echoes throughout the house and katsuki is on his feet and halfway to the living room before his eyes are even open—but the only danger awaiting him there is a pouty little brat.

his son is sitting amidst a swarm of toys that have been strewn about haphazardly, and his arms are crossed and big fat tears are in his eyes and he looks mad as all hell. you do, too, sitting across from him with a deep frown, holding the ripped page of a book from his little shelf.

"no sir," you warn, "we do not treat our things this way."

you incite a meltdown.

katsuki feels his own temper flaring—half from shock and awe at his little mini-me and also from the exhaustion wearing him thin—when your son kicks his legs out in a burst of rage, letting out another little shriek of anger. your cheeks puff up, wearing the same furious expression, and at the hiss of his name, the little brat jumps to his feet and snatches a toy truck nearby and launches it across the room.

"oi!"

your son's attention snaps to katsuki, startled, losing a hint of anger as he pouts at the floor.

"what'd she just tell you?" and when he gets no response, katsuki prods with a, "hah? answer me."

but the little boy only stamps his little feet and grunts out a furious, wordless sound that has katsuki's lip curling. you let out a heavy sigh, shaking your head at him before frowning down at the torn page in your hands, and then katsuki is planting a hand on the back of his son's head and steering him towards the front door.

"time to take a walk."

the boy goes, even though his arms are crossed and his eyes are downcast. he only resists once, as katsuki tries to shove his little feet into his shoes.

"i don't wanna." he mumbles, face scrunched and wet before promptly looking away.

"i didn't ask."

"hmm!"

katsuki has to resist the urge to pinch his own son.

they get out the door eventually, and the little boy stomps along for the most part, no longer needing a guiding hand on the back of his head once they get around the block a time or two. neither of them say anything.

fatherhood has taught katsuki a lot of things, which was expected, but the one thing that's surprised him is—he's learned all the things he doesn't want his son to be.

the first of them being angry. not the way katsuki was, mean and selfish, throughout his childhood; hateful and careless, in his teens; shut off and simmering, even now.

he waits until the tension has melted off his little shoulders, until his little face has dried and evened out. his arms swing at his sides, occasionally coming up to wipe his snot with the back of his hand, and he eyes the few wildflowers they pass with a little hum and a small smile.

katsuki tugs once on his ear, frowning down at the little brat when he peeks up at him. "that how you're supposed to treat your mama?"

he doesn't answer at first, leaning his head all the way back and clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, until katsuki stops walking. "no, sir."

"how you s'posed to treat her?"

"with love."

"how you s'posed to treat your toys?"

"with care."

"uh-huh," katsuki squishes his son's cheeks in his hand, shaking his head lightly from side to side until he starts giggling. "that how you acted today?"

"no, sir."

"that how y'r gonna act again?"

"no, sir."

"okay," katsuki murmurs, nodding once before letting him free. the little boy bounces on his feet and sucks on his lip, grinning when his tummy is pinched. "now pick those for your mama."

and he does, carefully plucking a small handful of flowers from the grass as they make their way back home, and just before he runs up the steps to the house, katsuki's little angel of a son hands him the biggest one.

[onycho]

[annievrse]

imgonnagetyouback

sukuna x reader —ᡣ𐭩 blurb

"where is he?" and by the tone of his gravelly voice, you know sukuna is angry. but not at you, never at you.

shoko points to the living room of satoru's house; a throng of college kids holler at the sight of being noticed by her.

"oh, shut up," shoko spits at her peers, wiping away the stray tear that rolls down your cheek. you look up at your ex-boyfriend, eyes sad and dried tears painting your cheeks.

his expression morphs into a snarl. "i'm gonna kill him."

"kuna," you mumble, grabbing his hand as he passes. stopping, he clenches his jaw. "you don't need to defend my honour anymore. i was stupid enough to get involved with him. i'll handle it."

sukuna clicks his tongue. he warned you about naoya zenin long before you even met the man. but despite the break-up being mutual, you felt you needed to punish yourself for letting go of someone who'd move heaven and earth for you. so, in bitterness, you decided to get back at sukuna (and yourself) by going out with naoya.

instead, naoya was worse than sukuna forewarned. your ex-boyfriend wasn't going to tell you, 'i told you so,' because he felt he deserved to see you with him. sukuna deserved to be punished for letting you go.

"i'm not above begging if it means i can make him unrecognisable, baby."

you let out a puff of air close to a laugh and shake your head. shoko gives you a look, one that you know well. it doesn't take much for you to change your mind. sukuna does not beg. the gleam in his eye does nothing but make you roll your eyes and succumb.

"fine," you huff. "make it quick."

sukuna's tongue pokes the inside of his cheek while his lips pull into a smile. "glad to be of service."

he leans down to kiss the top of your head and mumbles something incoherent against your hair — but you know exactly what he said. you grab his tricep and give it a squeeze. sukuna lowers his face before yours, his eyes flickering between your eyes and your lips.

"have fun," you tease, pressing your mouth to his cheek.

"i always do." and then he's gone, glancing over his shoulder to wink at you.

"what am i gonna do with him?" you sigh, watching sukuna shove through the crowd to reach naoya.

shoko says nothing. she clutches your hand between hers and shrugs. for the first time in her life, she has no witty response.

and at the first roar of both encouragement and surprise from your fellow college kids, you smile. shoko pulls you up to stand.

"you two are made for each other," shoko mumbles, watching the proud grin on your face. you barely hear her over the oohs of the crowd, and you know he's making you proud.