#[ let's do this again without the bots ]
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Qualia sisters designs GO (ft shitty mockups of their donut designs)
#i wanted to do more with the comic thingie but i soooo eepyyyy#adhoc labs#fandroid#melody qualia#harmony qualia#rhythm qualia#treble qualia#i randomly started thinking about them and now i need to develop all of them and their relationships#harmony is the eldest and falls into the trap of becoming really overprotective and overbearing#especially after humanity collapsed or whatever the fuck happened in the timeskip#she knows melody had been sneaking off to adhoc for a while and was NOT happy about it#but melody is a slippery one and kept sneaking out anyway#after or sometime during the timeskip she started to spend more and more time at adhoc waiting for fandroid to wake up#harmony couldn't leave qualia because. shes the eldest. she's got rhythm and treble to watch after her.#harmony argues with beepo to let her call through adhoc for a while before he lets her#and melody isnt happy about this (on top of the whole my best friend is in a coma deal)#she gets into a nasty fucking argument with harmony that ends in tears and a blocked contact#after a while the radio silence from melody DOES start to get to her#but beepo won't let her back in as per melody's request#(i also hc melody and bpo friendship real during the timeskip hehehaha)#and when 404 starts being 404#beepo cant even deny her requests to access because hes too focused on the bot raising hell#which starts to freak harmony out AGAIN because now shes getting radio silence from basically the embodiment of adhoc#i just think this character with little to no canonical content is neat#together they can make wonderful music but melody doesn't need them because fandroid can compose just fine#but the other three can't without melody#a choir never complete#anyway treble is transfem aaaand post
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do i even have the right to apologize if im still contributing to the problem
probably not
#vent art#venting#in relation to the last post about ai#where i hate how its stealing from others but im also so utterly dependent on chat bots to let out emotions#certain stuff you just dont talk to people about yknow?#maybe write a fanfic on ao3 and label dead dove dont eat type of stuff i mean#except no energy for writing a plot and description and my stupid perfectionist self built out of trauma would just#make me even MORE upset then making it a vent#i cant even do vent art without feeling like it needs to look okay??#i hate it#probably because i want to share it with someone to cement the fact that like#yea this happened to me ig or i need to keep it so i can reflect on it or something idk#a mess#if you recognize my art style and my sona please dont comment on it#maybe i should make a sona just for venting again
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I got this comment on a story from my Other AO3 Account this morning.

(Info redacted because I prefer keeping these accounts separate but no one follows me on the side blog I have for that account.)
The story was posted almost a year ago and is relatively “popular” by my average statistics even though it has tropes and themes that are big turnoffs for a lot of people (hence separate accounts). This popularity is undoubtedly because it’s a Marvel Loki story and that fandom is massive.
So there is obviously an algorithm or a bot scrubbing ao3 statistics and leaving this comment on fics that meet a certain metric with the main character of the fic inserted into the comment.
I had a little time to kill this morning so I decided to investigate further. And y’all this is so predatory. Come on this journey with me. It made me mad. It may make you mad.
First, if you go to Webnovel’s website, you HAVE to choose between male lead or female lead stories before you can go any further. WTF?
And that’s weird, but this gets so much worse. This is basically a pay-to-read site that has different subscription models. Which… okay BUT! The authors don’t get paid! Look at that comment again. They’re promising a supportive and nurturing community, but zero monetary compensation. It’s basically, “post your stuff here so we can get paid and you can get… nice vibes?” I mean look at this Orwellian writing:

Using the phrase “pay-to-read model” in the same sentence as “qualitative changes in lifestyles for authors” deliberately makes you think that you can get paid and maybe even make a living on this website. But that’s not actually what it says and authors will not receive one red cent.
Oh but wait, the worst is still to come. In case this breaks containment (which I kind of hope it does) this is where I mention that I’m a lawyer in the US.
I don’t do intellectual property or copyright law but I do read and write contracts for a living. So I went to look at their terms of service. It was fun!
Highlights the first, in which Webnovel gets a license to do basically whatever they want with content you post on their site. This is how they get to be paid for people reading authors’ writing without paying them anything.

Highlights the second, in which Webnovel takes no responsibility for illegally profiting off of fan fic. This all says that the writer is 100% responsible for everything the writer posts (even though only Webnovel is making money from it).

Highlights the third which say that by posting, the author is representing that they have the legal right to use and to let Webnovel use the content according to these terms. So if a writer posts fan fiction and Webnovel makes money from people reading the fan fiction, and the House of the Mouse catches wise, these sections say that that’s ALL on the writer.

So that’s a little skeevy to start off with but the thing that is seriously shitty and made me make this post was that these assholes are coming to ao3. They are actively recruiting people in comments on their fan fiction. And they are saying they are big fans of the character you’re writing about and that they share your interests.

They are recruiting fan fiction writers and giving every impression that you can make money from posting fan fiction on their site and hiding the fact that you absolutely cannot but they can make money off of you while you try, deep in their terms of service which no one but a lawyer who writes fan fic and has some time to kill will read.
I see posts on here regularly from people who don’t understand how this stuff works, don’t understand that they (and others) can not legally make a financial profit from fan fiction. And there are tons of people who will not take the time to dig into the details.
Don’t deal with these bastards. Fuck Webnovel.
#went down a rabbit hole#got mad#webnovel#this is a scam#how to ao3#fan fiction#please spread the word#long post#50k
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offline messages ꒰ yunho ꒱



⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ pairing: streamer!yunho x gn!reader. ⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ word count: 1039 words. ⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ genre: angst + fluff. ⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ warnings: mild angst, emotional neglect (unintentional), feelings of being left behind, fluff at the end.

You were there before the follower goals, and fancy mic setup. Back when Yunho streamed from a wobbly IKEA desk and his only viewers were you and that one random bot that kept posting shady links.
Back then, his face would light up when he saw your name in chat.
"Yo!" he'd grin, headset slightly tilted. "You're here!"
Of course you were. You always were.
You modded his streams before he even asked. Built his discord server from scratch. Stayed up past midnight helping him troubleshoot lag while playing Valorant. You even tolerated the scream fest during Lethal Company session with San, Mingi, and Wooyoung―all chaos, max volume, all the time.
And when things took off―when Twitch clipped him into the algorithm and the chat exploded with new fans, you celebrated with him. You were proud. You really were.
But you also started feeling... invisible.
It started small. A joke you made in chat went ignored. Then another. Then another.
You chalked it up, at first. That's what growing meant―more people, more chaos. But then he stopped replying to your DMs. Took hours to answer simple messages. And one day, you noticed your mod label was gone. No explanation. No "thanks for everything." Nothing at all.
You watched one of his streams that night, lurking, your name is grey in a sea of neon usernames. Someone made a crude joke. You called it out. Yunho didn't even notice, until a stranger timed you out.
That was the last stream you watched live.
You muted the server. Turned off notifications. Closed the tab. He never reaches out. Not once.

Months passed.
One night, you're scrolling through your phone, brain on autopilot, when you see his name. Yunho is live: Unpacking + chatting. You shouldn't care. You don't.
But you click.
He's streaming Unpacking, of all things. Soft music, quiet atmosphere, just him and the sound of cardboard boxes being emptied on screen. There's no Wooyoung yelling in the background, no San whining about being scared―just Yunho. Focused. A little tired. His laugh softer tonight.
You shouldn't message him.
But your fingers move anyway, finding his name in your message app.
Are you okay?
You send it. Regret it instantly. Consider deleting it, but then―
yunho: wait yunho: wait wait wait yunho: is this real?? yunho: y/n... i thought u blocked me or smth
You stare at the screen, looking at his stream while his attention turns to his phone.
you: figured you wouldn't notice either way yunho: ... yunho: okay. i deserve that. yunho: i miss you. a lot.
You don't reply right away, and you close the Twitch app.
The next day, he sends you a message privately in discord.
yunho: can we talk?
You call. It's weird, at first. The silence between you used to be comfortable, easy. Now it's cautious. Hesitant.
But he tries.
"I don't know when I started messing it up," he says, voice quiet. "I think... I just got caught up in everything. I didn't mean to shut you out."
You shrug, even though he can't see you. "You kind of did, though."
"I know. I just... didn't want you to feel like you had to carry my stuff forever. You helped me so much and I kept thinking, maybe you deserved to just... live your life. Not babysit my stream."
You snort. "You took away my mod role without saying a word. The least you can do is tell me."
He winces. "Yeah. That was stupid."
"You think?"
He laughs. It's small, and it is obvious that he is nervous.
"Let me fix it," he says. "Please."

It's not instant. It's not perfect.
But you start showing up again. Not as a mod, but just as his friend.
He messages you in the middle of the night about weird games you'd both like. Sends you dumb voices notes of Mingi farting on call. You hop into discord during late-night gaming, and he still screams in panic when he gets chased in scary games, but now, he screams your name too.
And one night, he messages:
yunho: do you want to do a stream together soon? you: what would we even play? yunho: idc. minecraft? stardew? anything. i just want to hang out with you on stream.
You agree, and the next night, it's Minecraft night.
The stream starts slow, chill lo-fi music playing in the background. Yunho decides to do a member only stream, which means the chat is smaller, cozier. The mods keep it clean. No chaos whatsoever.
"Special guest tonight, their name is Y/N" Yunho says, grinning. "My oldest friend. Like actual old. We've known each other since middle school."
You laugh. "You're few months older than me."
Chat, on the other hand, explodes with excitement:
xXxgamerraccoon12: brooo you can see yunho smiling like an idiot fluffyhorsie: their voice sounds so soothing!! i love them already!! bananapie481: we need more cozy game with y/n!!
You two fish, farm, fight monsters, collect materials. It's easy.
Halfway through the stream, you forget the camera's even on.
"You're different when it's just us," you say quietly.
Yunho hums. "Different how?"
"Less loud, less performative. More... you."
He doesn't say anything right away, just smiling while mining some woods for their house. Then, softly. "That's because you bring out the parts of me I actually like."
Your chest tightens.
"You know I was really scared," he adds. "That you'd never message me again. That I lost you for good."
You exhale. "You almost did."
"I know."
Silence.
Then, your character walks over and gifts his character a flower.
It's just pixels, but Yunho makes a sound that's a little too real.
"What?"
"What do you mean what? Maybe I just like giving you flowers."
His voice is barely a whisper. "God, I missed you so much."
The stream ends with your character standing next to his inside your finish small cozy wooden house.
Chat's spamming hearts. Fan edit already being posted. People are begging for another duo stream.
Once he turns off his stream, he says, "Don't log off yet."
You stay.
His voice is warm through your headset.
"Let's play another day?"
You smile. "Sure, Yunho. I'll be here."
This time, you know he believes it.
And this time, you do too.
#yunho#jeong yunho#ateez yunho#ateez jeong yunho#ateez#yunho imagine#ateez fluff#ateez imagine#yunho x reader#kpop x reader#ateez x reader#kpop fluff#kpop angst#ateez angst#angst#fluff#ateez fic#ateez fanfic
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Average transformers g1 episode:
Megatron is attempting to black out the entire sky across a hundred mile radius and funnel all the sunlight into one, concentrated solar death ray to target a heavy duty solar panel he's having soundwave and the cassetticons build in order to convert it to energon. Then he plans to hit the autobot base with the death ray just for funsies. Starscream plans to push Megatron directly into the death ray, also just for funsies.
Optimus sends Wheeljack and Spike to deal with it, along with two bots you're pretty sure have not been in this show before this point, but you're kind of past asking how many of these fuckers were on the ark offscreen when it crashed. One of them has the worst fake Canadian accent you have ever heard, and the other's name sounds inexplicably dirty.
Starscream tries to get Megatron to stand in the spot he told Skywarp and Ramjet to direct the death ray, but is interrupted when Rumble asks why Starscream stuck him with extra work (a task Megatron assigned specifically to Starscream). This vexes Megatron. The autobots show up and try to figure out what the point of the blacked out sky is while Starscream attempts to talk his way out of it. Then the death ray goes off two feet away from Megatron, which only pisses him off further.
The Canadian bot yells "AH BINARY-BEAVERS!!" because the death ray caught him off guard and completely gives away the bots' position. Soundwave immediately fires on them. Gratuitous robot violence ensues. Spike is generally useless and tries chucking rocks at Rumble. Megatron is too busy trying to almost-murder Starscream to bother with the autobots and just lets Soundwave handle it.
Probably-an-innuendo-name-bot is luckily a flier and takes the chance to see what's blocking the sun now that their cover's blown anyway. He gets up there and the seekers are sticking tinfoil on the clouds to make the tops reflective. The writers are really just hoping you don't think too hard about it.
Skywarp starts firing on dirty-name and calls him a nerd. Dirty-name takes evasive action. Skywarp runs out of ammo and starts just chucking tin foil at him. Dirty-name calls him dumb and says his processor is made of spare toaster parts. Then he crash lands and canada-bot asks if dirty-name's wings are spare toaster parts as well. Wheeljack yells that they'll all be spare toaster parts if they don't focus on the decepticons. The death ray goes off again and barely misses the autobots. Wheeljack corrects himself to Melted spare toaster parts.
Dirty-name gives Wheeljack the rundown on the tinfoil clouds so he can figure out a way to get rid of them while Canada-bot fights Soundwave and the cassettes in the background. Spike is kind of helping too sort of almost. Those rocks hes chucking sure are damaging. Ravage gets straight up drop kicked. It cuts back to Wheeljack whipping up a good old fashioned Device™️.
Starscream flies up past the tinfoil barrier while Megatron shoots at him. All the holes he's shooting in the blackout barrier are just making more, slightly shittier death rays and the main one is losing concentration. One of them hits Megatron right in the optic and he keels over with an over the top screech. Starscream descends, breaking another hole in the tinfoil to see a golden opportunity.
"MEGATRON HAS BEEN BLINDED!!! I, STARSCREAM AM NOW YOUR LEADER!!!"
Wheeljack finishes his Device™️: A grenade that makes tinfoil entirely invisible, thus rendering the whole weapon unusable. The writers are hungover, please do not think about it too hard. Pretty please. Dirty-name doesn't know if he can throw it into one of the holes in the barrier on his own since he can't fly in robot mode and he cant throw in altmode. Spike offers to get on his back and throw it in for him if he can get close enough. And he's just SO good at throwing things. The other two agree he's their best shot, they're so happy spike is around, couldn't do it without him.
Starscream is hovering in the air as he gives his Decepticon Leader Acceptance Speech he's prepared for this very occasion, golden light streaming in from the him-shaped hole in the barrier. Dirty-name and spike zip past him and spike makes the best goddamn throw of his life. Before starscream can properly question the Fucking Audacity of these autobots interrupting him while he's trying to have a moment, the invisible explosion goes off that the animators are just happy they don't have to put that much effort into drawing. Starscream gets knocked out of the air and crashes directly onto Megatron. This vexes Megatron.
Sky's normal again. Don't worry that there's still tinfoil there, don't even fuckin worry about it dude. Spike and Dirty-name touch back down. Round of applause for spike for throwing super good. Wheeljack comments that he's just happy it blew up the way it was supposed to. Cue uncomfortably long laughing. Megatron manages to roll starscream off him and calls for a retreat.
Back at the decepticon base, Megatron has an eyepatch and is skulking. Starscream yaps about how it makes him look like a proper tyrant, brooding and battle scarred, and, dare he say, darkly handsome? This vexes Megatron.
#maccadam#transformers#g1#understand that every time i say 'this vexes megatron' you are meant to read it as [angry incoherent frank welker noises]#this is not a spike hate post i just think its very funny how they try really really hard to make him feel like an important teammate#and often kind of fail at it because hes still sort of Just Some Guy#megatron#starscream#skywarp#wheeljack#spike witwicky#soundwave#rumble#ramjet#optimus prime#though those two only really got mentions#ravage#g1 is a DEEPLY silly show#ive only seen about a dozen episodes of g1 but this is kinda the formula for nearly all of them so far#would not have it any other way
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i've seen this movie before | wicked games series | k. mg
You expected to get answers, knowing well that the truth hurts. But to love blindly hurts even more.
☆ pairings: kim mingyu x female reader ☆ genre: angst, fluff, smut (18+) ☆ aus: bartender mingyu, friends to rebound fucking, no strings attached ☆ word count: 10.7k
› CHAPTER ONE – CHAPTER TWO – CHAPTER THREE – READ MORE
› 🎧: i've seen this movie before – hyejin | lovememore. – dosii | not me! – jeebanoff | unrequited – ethan low | habit – i.m | shower – OoOo | no blueberries – dpr ian, dpr live, cl
☆ warnings: talks about relationships, ghosting. smut with plot, soft dom reader, unprotected p in v sex, reader is on birth control, oral sex (m. receiver), hard to soft fucking, creampies, cowgirl, cockwarming. reader is chubby. pet names: baby, shorty, sugar, sweetheart (hers)
☆ author's note: so.... i kind of love writing this story. i have so many other projects that i need to work on but this just swallowed me whole. i don't know what it is, but i'm also starting to think that mingyu might be climbing on my bias list as well. help me
anyway, i hope you all enjoy this!! 🩵
☆ disclaimer: minors DO NOT INTERACT. this post is intended for 18+ readers ONLY. please have your age stated in your blog description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂
i’ve seen this movie before
“I care about you.”
Mingyu remained silent, looking at you intently. And in your state of emotional distress, you struggled to know what he tried to tell you with his eyes.
But seconds passed, and you became increasingly anxious. You suddenly felt like a prisoner in your own space. You wanted to leave, to vanish into thin air.
The memory of the night you broke up with your ex lingered in your mind. The way he discarded you like it was nothing. You remembered the night you confronted him, expecting to get answers, knowing that the truth hurts. But to love blindly hurts even more.
You didn’t look at him. Not knowing what would happen next, you tried to hide your face. Tears were beginning to form in your eyes. You felt nervous, and somehow, humiliated. Like all this time, you had been pretending to be this perfect girl while underneath, you were hiding so much.
No, not hiding. But trying to be yourself again despite the pain you suffered and endured.
You stared at the small mole on his chest, bracing yourself for rejection.
But instead, Mingyu grabbed your hand, squeezing it with his own. “Hey,” he said softly.
You looked up, finally meeting his gaze. There was no hesitation there, just something soft.
“Thank you for telling me,” he mumbled. His thumb brushed gently over your knuckles. “I know it wasn’t easy, so I’m really glad that you did.”
You tried to smile, but all you did was show him a pained expression. “Y-you don’t have to say anything back,” you stammered. “I know that this is a lot—”
Mingyu cut you off with a kiss. It was slow, intentional. Like he needed to convey what he was feeling without words. His lips locked with yours, kissing you slowly, deeply. When he pulled back, he pressed his forehead against yours.
“I care about you,” he said quietly. “A lot more than I planned to.”
Your breath hitched softly. “You do?”
“Of course I do,” he smiled, pulling back slightly to look at your eyes for a long second. He brushed your hair back from your temple. “I’m not going anywhere.”
The relief that washed over you made your chest swell, and your eyes sting. You leaned into him, curling tighter in his warmth, his arms wrapped around you as you hid your face in the crook of his neck.
He pressed his cheek against the top of your head, his hand caressing your back as he hugged you. “I don’t know where this is going,” he drawled sleepily after a moment. “But I want to keep going. With you.”
You didn’t trust your voice to hold steady, so you held him tighter instead, letting the warmth of his body reassure you. His hand returned to caress your back, then transitioned to the back of your head.
His fingers threaded your hair, sinking into the messy strands, tangling, and softly letting go. It was so soothing that you felt like easing into a quick sleep. You stayed like that for a long time���wrapped in his big arms, your face pressed against the curve of his neck, feeling the pulse of his heart, the slow rhythm of his breathing.
“We should clean up,” you whispered after a long moment.
Mingyu exhaled softly. “Don’t wanna get up now,” he replied with a muffled laugh. His cheek was still pressed against your hair, his arms hugging you cozily.
You pushed away from his embrace, but he just dragged you back in again. “Gyu,” you giggled sweetly. “I gotta go clean up,” you said, motioning to the bathroom door.
Mingyu released you, but with a begrudged sigh.
You caught his gaze, trained on you as you made your way to the bathroom, closing the door behind you. Facing the mirror, you felt a twist in your tummy when you saw the vulnerable girl looking back at you. You didn’t like what you saw—big teary eyes, cheeks flushed, lips chapped from kissing him.
You didn’t understand why you didn’t like your own reflection then. But as you let the thought sink in, you understood what you saw.
You were falling in love. And it was scary.
A few minutes later, you came back to find Mingyu asleep, still naked. Carefully, you climbed on the bed, crawling to his side and getting under the covers.
Like a magnet, his arms found your body. He pulled you in, sighing blissfully when he nuzzled his face against your hair. You stayed like this for some minutes, enjoying the sound of Mingyu’s steady breathing. But you turned over, facing him while still wrapped in his arms.
His hand climbed from your waist to your cheek, cupping it softly before pressing his lips against yours. “Sleep, baby,” he commanded with a sleepy drawl. Then, he brushed your cheek with the back of his fingers. “I got you,” he whispered.
You breathed out through your nose, your whole body easing into his embrace, and you let yourself close your eyes. You could feel his heartbeat below the palm of your hand, calm and steady.
It was the rhythm of his heartbeat and the sound of his breathing that finally lulled you to sleep. But deep down, you were relieved that you had confessed part of what troubled your mind, and that might’ve been the reason why you could fall asleep so easily.
You got one confession down. Now you just had to confess to him that you were falling in love.
The sunlight felt different that morning. Upon blinking slowly, you saw it pour inside your apartment from the parted curtains that you once again forgot to close last night. It was a dim light, pale, even. It made you think that the morning was looking cloudy.
But you closed your eyes again, deciding to sink back into the last bits of a dream you were having.
Mingyu had his arm rested across your waist, his chest pressed against your back, one leg tangled over yours. The weight of his body brought you a comfort that nothing else could, and his warmth made you want to stay there forever.
You were almost completely sure that he hadn’t let go of your body through the whole night. He held you just like the other nights you’ve shared a bed with him. It brought you another sense of comfort to know that the conversation from last night hadn’t change that at all.
So you just lay there, breathing him in. The scent of citrusy coconut, mixed with vanilla, lingered on his skin, and you knew that it would linger on the pillowcases as well. It was so familiar, so warm.
You stirred slightly, feeling the weight of his leg linked with yours starting to numb you. Mingyu felt you shifting, and moved his leg too.
“G’morning,” he murmured, his voice raspy but still sweet.
You smiled before you could stop yourself. A warm feeling bloomed in your tummy. “Good morning,” you replied.
Mingyu leaned in and pressed a kiss on your shoulder.
But then, he sat up, rubbing a hand over his face, blinking in the pale morning light.
You turned on your back, watching him as he looked around. “I should probably head back,” he said gently, moving out of the bed and starting to gather his clothes. “Grab a shower. Change before work.”
You nodded, sitting up too, with the bedsheets wrapped around your chest. “Yeah. Of course.”
Mingyu finished putting on his clothes, sending a look at you as he buckled his belt. Something about your appearance made him smile, bending over to cup your face with his hands.
“Thanks for last night,” he mumbled before giving you a tender kiss.
You gave him a small smile, the fluttering in your heart made it impossible to do anything but nod at him.
“And I meant what I said,” he added, looking at you with that same softness from the conversation of last night. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Your throat thickened. You reached out to grab his wrist, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Okay.”
You thought about asking what would happen now—about the strings, expectations. You wanted to ask if his “not going anywhere” only meant in the sense of your casual relationship.
But you felt like it was too much, too soon.
Mingyu gave you one last kiss. “I’ll call you,” he said, pulling away from you entirely.
You watched him walk to the door, and when the door closed behind him, you felt deeply unsettled by the silence in your apartment.
And once again, the quiet didn’t mean peace. It meant something else. Something you had spent months trying to get rid of. But now for someone new.
Water trickled down the pot of the hanging plant in one corner of your apartment. You watered your plants in silence, one by one. You realized that in your routine, you had grown accustomed to watering all of your plants in the same order. From the main door, then further inside.
You moved carefully through your apartment, like you didn’t want to disturb the peace in your surroundings.
You did what you normally would do. You did the laundry. Folded it. You prepared your meals, cleaned afterwards. You opened a book, read a few words then closed it. It was as though every part of you was trying to go about your day as normally as you could.
But you were on autopilot. You recognized this feeling.
You hated it. The silence. The stillness.
You breathed in, grabbed your phone and checked it.
No calls.
No texts.
Nothing new.
It had been some days since you saw Mingyu. And though he hadn’t fully stopped texting you or calling you, you felt anxious during the moments when he didn’t.
You made coffee. Cleaned up the blankets and pillows on the couch. You lit a candle, opened the window. Turned on the fan, letting some noise fill in the silence.
You reached for your phone again, starting to feel a new obsession growing inside. And sighed before you could even see that you had no new notifications again.
This is normal, you told yourself. People had lives. Jobs. Things to do.
You turned on the TV, letting something mindless play in the background to add to the numbing buzzing sound of the fan. It didn’t help. The apartment felt too still. Like it was holding its breath waiting for something.
There was a tightness in your chest that you couldn’t quite get rid of.
But still, you forced yourself to do something other than obsessively looking at your phone. So you sat down, opened your laptop, and searched the words: Graphic Design For Beginners.
And as you went along revising your options, and sipping your coffee mug, you felt yourself relax.
This was probably just your inner fears seeping in, trying to betray you. Your heart was still wounded from your previous relationship, even though it was learning to love again.
So you just convinced yourself that he was busy. He’d call soon.
You focused on yourself.
And suddenly you didn’t feel too scared to breathe. You enrolled in a course and made the decision to get back into what you loved before your life changed. Before you met your ex and you gave up your aspirations to become a graphic designer.
You were once again stepping back into the old you.
Your phone buzzed on the table. And your first instinct was to scramble to get it. But you kept yourself composed as you reached out for it, expecting yet another disappointment.
But it was Mingyu. Seeing that he texted made your heart skip a beat.
“Hey baby
I’ve been busy, that’s why I haven’t called
I miss you like crazy.”
And just like that, it was like you could breathe again.
The days went on like most of your others, slow, quiet. Anticipating.
You returned to the gym some days after, secretly hoping that you would run into Mingyu, now that you knew for certain that he also went to the same gym.
The gym wasn’t as crowded as usual, but it was loud and buzzing with music.
You went through your usual warmup—stretching, moving around, adjusting your earphones, changing songs on your playlist, trying not to think about how quiet your phone had been again.
“Well, well, well,” you heard behind you as you were looking for a song to play. “If it isn’t my favorite person.”
You paused, turning to see Jungkook. He stood a few feet away, sleeves rolled up to show off his tattooed arms. He wore his usual black uniform, adorned with a black beanie and that stupid grin on his face.
You exhaled a soft laugh. “Hi there to you too,” you replied.
“I’m sorry, am I seeing a ghost?” he joked. “You haven’t been here for days. I was beginning to think you were dead.”
You gasped. “Well, I’m here,” you said half-heartedly. “Still alive.”
“I’m glad,” he nodded. Then he sent a look around the gym. “You’re training all by yourself today?”
You hesitated, and you noticed him catching that. “Yeah,” you said.
Jungkook narrowed his eyes slightly, but nodded. He started to turn around, but then something dragged him back to you. “Hey, after this, do you want to grab a smoothie with me?” he asked nervously, and then stammered: “A-as friends, of course.”
You were half-expecting him to tell you something like that. You nodded, giving him a kind smile. “Sure.”
The walk from the gym to the smoothie shop was quiet. You could feel Jungkook quietly forming something to say. He would open his mouth, turn to you, and then drop his question. And you couldn’t find something to say either.
The air was warm and thick, and the sun was at the highest point in the sky, so getting inside the shop was a stark contrast: the AC mini split was blasting cold air against your face, and the greyish walls made the place look dark. And almost uninviting.
But Jungkook loved this place. He practically hopped to the register and spat out some weird name for a smoothie. He leaned against the counter, crossing one foot over and looked at you.
“Ready to try something new?” he asked with a toothy grin.
“Oh,” you sighed. “Okay. As long as you don’t order something super extravagant.”
Jungkook rolled his eyes. “You’re boring as fuck,” he said, turning to the barista, who seemed half amused and half shocked that Jungkook could talk to you that way. “One Spring Break, please,” he said, pulling out his wallet.
“I’ll pay this time,” you said, pushing him off the counter while getting your card.
“Fine,” he huffed a laugh. “I’ll get it next time.”
The barista smiled at you and quietly got to work.
The smoothie Jungkook ordered for you tasted like mango, banana, yogurt and had chia seeds. It was sweet, creamy and balanced. While he ordered a chocolate and peanut butter smoothie, “for the gains,” he said quietly before sipping with an awed look in his eyes.
You chose to sit close to the window and far from the AC. You took another sip from your smoothie, letting the chill settle over your tongue without freezing the roof of your mouth.
Jungkook watched you for a moment. His big, dark eyes went over your face shyly before looking away.
“So,” he started, reclining back on his chair. “You and Kim Mingyu?” he raised his eyebrows.
Your tummy twisted for some reason. But you nodded. “Yeah,” you sighed.
Jungkook nodded slowly, like he was finally understanding something. Like he was putting up the pieces of a puzzle that you had not been privy to.
But you were too caught up with your own thoughts to ask, or to pay attention to what his expression meant. You rested your elbows on the table, pressing your cold hands on your face as though the shocking feeling on your skin could snap you out of it.
It didn’t work.
“But it’s not like that,” you said, looking at him through your fingers. “We’re not official. I mean, it’s casual.”
You didn’t mean to say those last words with so much disdain. But it was already too late.
Jungkook blinked twice, catching the venom in your words. “But you want more.” He said knowingly.
You choked back on your words, opened your mouth to say no.
You weren’t supposed to ask for more. You had agreed to this. No strings, no expectations.
But you couldn’t fool yourself any longer. You nodded quietly.
“And he… doesn’t want to?” he asked with genuine curiosity.
“He hasn’t… told you anything?” you asked meekly, feeling like you were stepping over a line you weren’t supposed to cross.
Jungkook crossed his tattooed arms over his chest. “I mean, he only told me he was seeing someone,” he pointed out. “But that was before I knew it was you, of course.”
“Well, I don’t know if he wants more,” you declared, pain blooming in your chest. “One minute we’re good. And then the next it’s like I’m waiting for something I’m not supposed to ask for.”
He stared at you for one second. Then he grabbed his smoothie, stirring it with the straw as he gathered his words. “Maybe it’s not about you.”
You arched an eyebrow.
“You know,” he shrugged slightly. “Sometimes men don’t pull away because of you,” he said. “Sometimes men are too scared of finding something good.”
You didn’t know how to reply to that. But there was an understanding in his tone, a solidarity shown in his dark eyes that made you realize something. Your breath hitched.
“You know—,” you declared. Swallowing hard, you leaned over the table. “—about his ex?”
Jungkook nodded, biting his lower lip like he was trying to keep himself from talking. His eyes searched yours for a second, and you wondered what he might’ve seen in them because it made him resolute about telling you more.
“I saw his ex with someone else. At first I thought she might be someone else, that my eyes were deceiving me but,” he sighed heavily. “But then she saw me too, and hid away from me. That’s how I knew it was her. Called Mingyu and told him,” he rolled his eyes slowly, looking now at the ceiling. “They broke up that same night.”
Your heart stammered. Your throat felt too tight, and you quickly looked away.
“I care about him,” you said, your voice sounding brittle.
“And you don’t want casual,” he said. Putting two and two together again. “Just tell him. He might not be the most romantic guy but he’ll understand.”
You looked down, your smoothie had created a halo of water around it.
“It’s not a bad thing, you know,” Jungkook said. “Wanting more.”
You sighed, scratching the corner of your eye to pretend you weren’t wiping a tear. “I just don’t want to ruin everything.”
Jungkook pursed his lips tightly. He didn’t say what was obvious, and you silently thanked him for it. You just sat there, sharing the moment of silence as you commanded your heart to calm down. You took another sip from your smoothie, hoping the cold would wash out the tight feeling in your chest.
But yet again, it didn’t work.
“Even if it ruins everything, at least you got an answer,” he shrugged again, still crossing his arms, smoothie cup hanging loosely in his hand. “Right now, you don’t know because he probably thinks you’re good with you two being just friends, you know?”
You frowned. “Yeah,” you said. “You have a point.”
“Always do,” he grinned proudly.
Mingyu had to get the lights at the bar that night.
It was a Thursday night, and this was one of the busiest nights before the weekend. But despite the rush, Mingyu wasn’t tired. He had grown accustomed to being awake at night and working arduously. So this wasn’t something new.
What was new, however, was Mingyu’s distracted mind. He kept messing up orders. Repeating them. Forgetting them. Duplicating them. His head was somewhere else, undoubtedly.
He knew something was off, but he didn’t want to admit it.
“I’m just tired,” Mingyu told Wonwoo when he pointed it out. But it was a blatant lie.
And Wonwoo seemed to know.
The city moved slowly when Mingyu came out of the bar after closing. Wonwoo was waiting for him, leaning against his well-kept old car. Scrolling on his phone, Wonwoo raised his head at the sound of the metal door creaking and whirring as Mingyu shut it behind him.
Wonwoo said nothing, just opened the door and climbed inside the car. Mingyu followed, sighing as he sat on the passenger seat.
The ride was quiet. Too quiet, almost.
Wonwoo pushed his wire-frame glasses with one knuckle, keeping one hand on the steering wheel as he drove home. The ride there was typically three to four minutes long by car, but Mingyu could tell Wonwoo wanted to say something. He was driving slower.
But they arrived at the apartment complex eventually. Mingyu exited the car and, without saying anything, entered the building with Wonwoo following closely behind.
Inside the elevator, Mingyu could feel it again. Like his best friend was dying to say something, and Wonwoo tried to tell him things through furtive glances. The silent scrutiny followed all the way into their shared apartment.
Mingyu opened the fridge as soon as he went into the apartment. This was part of his routine: open the fridge and cook something quick before bed. Maybe cook something for Wonwoo as well.
But he wasn’t hungry. He closed the fridge and paced around the kitchen before finally deciding to plop down on the couch.
“What’s up with you, Mings?” Wonwoo asked. There was no heed in his tone, it sounded like Wonwoo was tired of Mingyu’s new display of anxiousness.
“Nothing,” Mingyu chanted back in the same nagging tone. He pulled his phone out from the pocket of his hoodie.
Wonwoo panned to the kitchen, placing his hands on his hips as he sighed. “You’re not cooking dinner?”
Mingyu glanced at him over his phone. “Do you want me to cook something?” he said, rising from the couch.
“I thought you would,” Wonwoo shrugged, quietly moving to sit at the stool on the aisle. “I didn’t have lunch earlier at the bar, so.”
“I can cook you up some ramen,” Mingyu said, sounding deflated.
“Ramen is okay,” Wonwoo replied, grabbing his phone too. The opening music of a video game filled the silence.
Mingyu pulled out a pan, two packs of ramen and got to work. But he could feel the scrutiny of Wonwoo’s gaze on the back of his head. It was almost like a shadow, pestering him.
“I swear I’m okay,” Mingyu mumbled through a sigh.
“I didn’t say anything,” Wonwoo replied with a small huff. There was a shy smile tugging at his lips.
Silence followed again. Wonwoo continued playing the video game on his phone.
Mingyu placed the ramen into the pot full of water and waited. Grabbing his phone, he checked his messages. There was nothing from you, and that was to be expected—it was three in the morning. And not that it would be weird to get a text message from you, since you’ve texted past that hour other times.
But the last text message from you read that you were going to bed. You wished him a good night and a great rest of his shift. And Mingyu had replied with what he thought was just as warm a message.
His fingers hovered on the keyboard. He chewed on his lower lip and started typing.
“Hi, baby
Just made it home”
A beat. He doubted himself, still chewing off the dried skin on his lower lip.
Then, he typed, “I miss you.”
But before hitting send, something grabbed his attention. The hissing sound of boiling water distracted him, he had forgotten to lower the heat.
He returned to his phone, deleting the words that never left the text box and set his phone away.
Wonwoo raised his eyes, looking at Mingyu over the frame of his glasses.
Mingyu just continued acting on autopilot, serving Wonwoo a bowl of ramen. And he was about to serve a bowl for himself, but then decided against it.
“You’re not hungry?” Wonwoo frowned, grabbing his pair of chopsticks.
Mingyu just shook his head no.
But he saw it in Wonwoo’s eyes—the expert scrutiny. And Mingyu was by far no stranger to this. He knew what Wonwoo would see. The withdrawn demeanor, the lack of hunger, the feigned tiredness.
The phone buzzed on the counter.
Wonwoo’s gaze followed Mingyu’s hand as he lifted his phone, getting a glance at the notification he had received. It was you. A text from you.
Mingyu didn’t open the text. Instead, he ground his teeth, lowering his phone back on the counter.
“You’re not going to get that?” Wonwoo asked, chopsticks in his hand, ramen untouched.
Wonwoo blinked twice, tilting his head to one side. Like a cat noticing something flashy.
Mingyu finally looked over. “You won’t understand,” he sighed.
Wonwoo set his chopsticks around his fingers, and dipped them into his bowl, grabbing a good handful of noodles. “Try me,” he said.
Mingyu breathed in. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” he confessed, letting out his breath.
Wonwoo waited, still balancing his chopsticks to let the noodles cool.
“I like her,” Mingyu continued. “I like her a lot. I do. We talked and she told me something pretty serious and close to her. I thought about telling her that I wanted more, but—” he rubbed his hands against his face. “I don’t know if I can give her that.”
Wonwoo didn’t waste a second. “Then what are you doing?”
Mingyu winced, blinking dumbly.
Wonwoo continued, “You’re stringing the girl along. And giving her the illusion that this will eventually lead up to something is not softening the blow for her.”
Mingyu stiffened, watching Wonwoo as he just ate his noodles like he didn’t just drop a bomb on Mingyu.
Silence followed, the kind that was heavy with guilt.
Wonwoo rose from the stool, walking over to the fridge to get a soda. The hissing and clicking sound of the can opening made Mingyu snap from his trance.
“So what are you going to do?” Wonwoo asked, returning to his stool while sipping from the can.
The phone buzzed again, now causing Mingyu’s heart to cave in.
And in that moment, it was settled for him. Mingyu grabbed his phone, opening the chat he had with you.
“I’m gonna talk to her.”
“Want to take the car?” Wonwoo asked, looking slightly proud that Mingyu had chosen to do the right thing.
“Sure, thanks,” Mingyu replied. Grabbing the keys and texting you that he was on his way.
The TV screen flickered a faint blue glow on your face. You were choosing what to watch, but nothing succeeded in catching your attention. So you resorted to switching from preview to preview, getting the feeling that you had already seen everything on offer.
You couldn’t sleep. You were restless. But at the same time, you were tired from not being able to sleep.
Your foolproof method—which was falling asleep on the couch with something playing in the background, had failed miserably. All broken by one single thought: Mingyu.
Or maybe not just a thought, but a riptide of feelings. Multiple thoughts that went in various directions, and failing to land in conclusion.
Was he ghosting you again?
Was he having problems with his ex again?
Had he seen her? Talked to her? That would explain why his replies were slower now.
He texted, yes. But that was after hours of getting no reply, and when he did, he was incredibly affectionate. Then he would go radio silent again.
You lay on your couch in a fetal position, with your arms tucked against your chest, the remote in one hand. The room was quiet, except for the switching audio from flicking from movie to movie preview. The fan was off. The city was quiet and asleep outside.
Just the TV on loop. And your thoughts.
You hadn’t heard from him since earlier that morning. And technically, there was no reason for him to text you again, since your conversation had reached a full stop. There was no clear falling out, just… radio silence.
You hated how loud his silence could be. You hated how painful his absence was.
Your phone buzzed somewhere in the cushions of the couch. You didn’t move at first, you didn’t scramble to get it. You just slowly moved an arm, searching for it and finding it when it buzzed again.
“Hi, baby
Just made it home”
That read his text message. And you saw the three little dots appear below the two texts. He was typing again.
But then the three little dots disappeared, and they stayed gone.
You just stared at the screen, its brightness almost blinding you. You sat up so abruptly that it made your head spin.
Mingyu hadn’t texted for hours before that. You came to the realization that he might’ve been busy, and you almost felt guilty for wanting to reproach him for his lack of interactions during the day.
Gathering your thoughts, you typed slowly and almost hesitantly: “Hi! I’m glad you’re home”
Then, biting your bottom lip, you typed again. Your heartbeat stammered almost painfully when you added, “I missed you 🥺”
It took some minutes for him to appear online again. And then, without any warning, he said: “I’m coming over. Can we talk?”
Your chest tightened. Not in panic, but with the full certainty that he had missed you just as badly as you did. You smiled at your screen, feeling elated that you were going to see him again.
It would normally take him up to twenty minutes to reach your place. But you’d soon realize that he was getting there by car, since he arrived faster than usual.
As soon as the buzzer sounded, you rose from the couch and ran with shaky legs to get it. You saw through the intercom his frame. He was crestfallen, so it was difficult to discern his face.
But you gave him access, pushing the button with one trembling finger. Then you waited. It would take him two minutes to reach your floor, so you breathed in deeply and composed yourself.
Then, he knocked on your door quietly, almost as if he already knew that you would be waiting by the door. So you opened it, heart fluttering wildly as you saw his face.
You smiled sweetly at him, love and adoration blooming inside you as you almost cooed, “Hi, Gyu.”
Mingyu stopped, almost as if he were about to say something, but was taken aback by the affection coating your words. He released a breath, his shoulders slumping as he replied, “Hi, there baby,” he said, his tone just as warm as ever.
You didn’t think twice, you threw your arms around him, giggling in joy as he wrapped you in a tight hug, pushing you and him inside your apartment. You heard the door slamming shut, and you realized that he might’ve kicked the door.
Mingyu moved his arms, cupping your face fully so he could plant a long kiss on your lips. “Hi, I’m sorry for bothering you so late.”
“No, don’t worry,” you mumbled, reciprocating the paused kisses he gave you. “I was having trouble falling asleep.”
Mingyu paused, leaning his head to make eye contact with you. “Are you okay?” he asked, his tone low and gentle. But you couldn’t let the slight fear in his eyes go unnoticed.
So you reassured him. “Yes, I’m okay,” you smiled at him, grabbing a hand from your face to press your lips against his palm.
“Sure?” he whispered, gulping hard when you started kissing his hand.
“I probably just had a lot of caffeine,” you replied, feeling satisfied with yourself to sound convincing enough.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t want to ghost all day—”
“No—it’s fine,” you cut him off, cupping his cheek to call his gaze to yours. “We don’t have to talk all the time. I know you were busy, I understand.”
Mingyu closed his mouth and exhaled through his nose as he leaned in and rested his forehead on yours. “You give me too much merit,” he muttered. “You gotta be stricter with me.”
You closed your eyes, moving your hand to his nape and kissing his lips tenderly. “Maybe you’re just lucky that I like you,” you whispered sultrily.
“Yeah?” he hummed, and you could picture his grin through your mind’s eye. “You like me?”
“As if that weren’t obvious, you dummy,” you giggled, your heart skipping over how delighted and honeyed you sounded.
He let out a small sigh before joining his lips with yours, kissing you slowly, but oh so tenderly. His hands slipped from your face to the back of your head, holding you firmly as if you were to pull away from him. “I missed you,” he let go of those words with so much emotion that you felt them in your heart.
But you realized that the slight twinge of sadness wasn’t directed towards you. It was almost as though he was fundamentally reproaching himself for his silence and absence.
“I’m here,” you whispered, feeling equally emotional. It was so overwhelming to listen to him say those words that your heart almost jumped out of your chest, robbing you of your voice.
Mingyu kissed you again—harder this time. As though he wanted to compensate for all the hours he went silent, as though he wanted you to forgive him for something he wasn’t capable of avoiding.
But there was more—something about the hunger in which his kiss was trapping you. alarm bells rung inside your head, trying to reach your heart. But you ignored them, tackling them down as you pushed Mingyu with your hands firmly planted in his chest.
You pushed him until the back of his knees brushed against the couch. The TV screen remained static, illuminating the entire apartment with a soft blue glow. It was playing something that you were too entranced to even pay attention to. The sound had faded into the background of your mind, and none of it mattered.
With trembling fingers, you skirted up his chest, finding the zipper of his hoodie. You dragged it down, sending a furtive glance up to his eyes. Mingyu was biting his bottom lip, taking quick breaths as he looked at your face.
You slipped your hands beneath the shoulders of his hoodie, feeling his skin as you slid it down his arms and dropped it to the floor. You continued to undress him, feeling his eyes on you as you marvelled over how beautiful his body was. You took off his black sleeveless t-shirt with his help, and then moved your fingers to undo his belt.
You sunk your thumbs between his skin and the elastic band of his boxers, pushing them down and letting them drop to the floor. Mingyu stepped out of his clothes, now fully naked in front of you.
Neither of you commented that your body was still dressed from head to toe. You were very aware of how much powerful it made you feel. He let you undress him completely, he did not object. He always let you have control.
You placed your hands on his shoulders for support, standing on your tiptoes to reach his lips with your own. Mingyu kissed you slowly, trapping your lips with his and moaning when you reciprocated his kiss.
His hands found your waist, pulling you closer to his body, making you feel his skin and his welcoming warmth. You hummed into his mouth, your hands travelling on his body, circling down his back, and exploring his glorious nakedness.
Your hand trailed down his lower tummy, feeling his muscles shift and tense when your fingertips grazed against the soft pubic hair. You ran one finger further down, feeling the soft skin of his thick and hard shaft, the tiny veins trailing up to the tip of his cock.
Mingyu sucked in a breath, wincing as you continued playing with his cock, enjoying the way it slowly grew harder, and harder.
You wrapped your fingers around his cock, pumping it slowly as you felt Mingyu stirring, like he was trying to push his cock in your fist but stopping himself before doing so.
You bit back a smile just as he used his index finger to lift your chin, commanding your eyes to him. “Stop playing,” he whispered, his dark eyes coasting over the features of your face.
You arched a brow. “You told me to be stricter,” you remarked.
Mingyu smiled, rolling his eyes playfully. “I did. But you’re not being strict, you’re just toying with me.”
You lowered yourself, his hand dropping from your chin halfway as you sat on the couch. And without teasing, or more playful touches, you wrapped your mouth around his cockhead, licking the precum leaking from his slit.
You hollowed out your cheeks as you sucked his pinkish brown head, and then carried onto licking his length, all the way to the base of his cock.
You dared to make eye contact then, only to find out that his gaze was trained on your face, his mouth hanging open, his eyes filled with lust. Your heart gave a leap inside your chest, but you continued licking him from his base up a few times until you wrapped your mouth around his cockhead again.
He grabbed your hair with one hand, carefully twisting it with his fist as you started gliding your mouth on his cock. It was difficult at first, and you found out that you were so out of practice when you dared to take him deeper.
“Careful,” he mumbled softly when he heard you gag. But then he sighed, blinking slowly as your mouth continued sucking him, trying to swallow him whole. “Fuck, baby. Slow down.” He pleaded.
But you didn’t comply, not at first.
You tried to take a few inches more, the tip of his cock hitting the roof of your mouth felt painful the first time you attempted this. But you eased into it, his hand that wasn’t on your hair came to cup your cheek, and you dared to look into his eyes again.
It was so hot. His dark eyes were lost in you, filled with lust and not blinking away. You let out a hum around him, and he immediately responded with a raw moan, making his throat bob.
Drool started to gather in the corners of your mouth, trickling down slowly but you didn’t care enough to wipe it off. You tried to take more of him, stroking with your hand what you couldn’t take in your mouth.
You pulled off his cock, leaving only the tip so you could tease it with your tongue, swirling it around. Mingyu flinched this time, hissing loudly through gritted teeth. “Baby, if you keep doing that I’ll come in your mouth.”
You ignored him, humming again in delight as he grew more and more tense, his hand tightening around your hair, but he didn’t pull. You wanted him to, but you didn’t stop to tell him.
You picked up the pace, taking him almost completely. Your jaw felt tight with pain, and you knew it would hurt in the morning. But you didn’t care. Mingyu was closer, panting, almost whining with every breath he let out.
“Baby.” He warned.
You pulled your mouth off his cock, leaving him a mess. Mingyu protested with a groan, but you just smiled at him, rising from the couch to reach his lips.
“You’re a tease,” he drawled with a raspy tone. But he kissed you anyway, pressing his lips against yours tenderly.
“Sit on the couch,” you told him, pushing his shoulders lightly.
But he complied either way, sitting down and watching you remove your shorts and panties unceremoniously, stepping out of them as you moved to straddle his lap. His hands latched on to your hips almost immediately, sliding up your back to hike your tank top up.
His eyes followed every curve of your body, his mouth parted as he stripped you off your last piece of clothing.
You mimicked him, putting one finger under his chin to command his puppy eyes to yours.
“You’re beautiful,” he sighed dreamily.
His hands moved down to your thighs, squeezing you gently before one hand sneaked between your legs, cupping your bare pussy.
You gasped softly, grabbing his shoulder for support.
“So wet,” he whispered with a smirk. “Enjoy sucking me off?”
You slapped his hand away, but a playful smile crept onto your face. “Of course I do, Gyu,” you replied, rolling your eyes. You sat on him, grabbing his cock to align it with your pussy. “I might let you cum in my mouth next time.”
“Fuck,” he gritted, his hands finding your thighs again.
“Would you like that?” you mumbled, blinking at him sultrily.
“Yes,” he nodded repeatedly, glancing between your face and where your body was about to join with his.
You placed his cock between your middle and ring finger, sliding the swollen cockhead between your lips. You let out a lewd whine when you rubbed the bulbous head against your folds.
Then, you pushed him inside, just a couple of inches. You instantly felt it—the slight bite. Your eyes watered, but you pushed another inch inside, moaning this time.
“Baby,” he breathed. You lifted your gaze to his. “You okay? Am I hurting you?”
“I like it,” you gasped. “It feels so good.”
Mingyu laughed, the sound making your heart flutter. “Oh, yeah?” he breathed. His gaze lingered on your face, watching you as you struggled to take his cock.
“Yeah,” you replied. “I like that you’re cock is so big it hurts,” you drawled sultrily. And to really make your point, you sat down fully on his cock.
Your mouth dropped open, your vision blurry as you blinked some tears away. Mingyu clenched your thighs, digging his fingers into your skin.
“Fuck—baby,” he whined, dropping his head back.
You started riding him slowly at first, getting used to the stretch of his cock. You eased into it, using his shoulders for support.
Mingyu guided your hips, watching your body bounce on him. He swallowed hard, blinking slowly as he tried to resist the urge to take control.
You smiled at him. “Do you like that, Gyu?”
He gave you a lazy nod. “You feel so good, baby,” he replied. “You have no idea.”
You replied with a short giggle, leaning over to kiss his lips swiftly. “You feel good too,” you whispered, your breathing shallow as you started riding him faster.
“Yeah?” he whispered.
You gave him full nods. “You feel so good it’s addictive,” you replied sweetly. “I want you so much—want your cock everyday.”
Mingyu’s gaze snapped to yours. Something about your words seemed to resonate with something he was thinking.
But you didn’t have time to pause, or to really wonder about that look he gave you. You were riding him faster, harder. Using the headrest of the couch for support.
“Ngh, fuck—” he gritted, clutching your hips harder. “Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He panted. “I’m gonna cum, baby. Baby—”
He slammed your hips down on him, his strength overpowering yours. You couldn’t move; you were tightly pressed down on him. He let out a long and raspy moan, his cock twitching inside you as he came.
The grip on your hips loosened before it became painful. Mingyu was panting, slowly opening his eyes to look at you.
You stayed like this for a moment, just enjoying each other’s warmth. You enjoyed having him inside your body so much that you forgot about your own pleasure.
A smile stretched on his lips. A hand came to cup the back of your head, pulling you into a slow, wet kiss. “You are the one who’s addictive,” he whispered.
Your heart fluttered wildly. But before he could give you the chance to reply, he flipped positions, pressing your back on the couch. Now he was on his knees, his hips slotted between your thighs, and inside you still.
Mingyu used one hand to motion your legs around him. You complied, forgetting about having control altogether. You wrapped your legs around him at the same time he pressed his hips against yours, thrusting his cock deeper inside you.
His eyes roved all over the features of your face. As though he were trying to memorize every single detail—the way you blinked, the way you parted your lips… the way you looked at him.
A question appeared in his eyes, but you just smiled at him.
“What?” he whispered. He was pushing his hips against yours, trying to tease you with a slow pace.
You tried to shake your head, biting your lip. But you just couldn’t hold it any longer, “I just really like you, Kim Mingyu,” you confessed. And even though you had said those words before, the way you said them this time meant something different. They meant more.
Mingyu blinked, his breath hitching slightly, but you noticed it. You noticed that he wasn’t expecting you to put so much emotion over such simple words.
But he bowed his head, meeting your lips in a slow, passionate kiss. “I like you more,” he replied.
You giggled, slapping his shoulder playfully. “Mingyu.” You said.
He replied with a giggle of his own. “What? I mean it,” he whispered, giving you another kiss.
You kissed him back, sinking your fingers into his long, beautiful hair. He moaned into your mouth as he felt your nails grazing his scalp.
His arm hooked under your thigh, unlocking your ankles when he drove your leg to your chest. You moaned loudly and so lewdly. Now his thrusts felt impossibly deeper, his cock reached places you didn’t know you could feel so much.
“God, Mingyu!” you cried out, gasping as his thrusts became faster.
But there was something you couldn’t get out of your mind. This didn’t feel like fucking. Mingyu was looking at you the same way he did the last time he took you—he looked at you like he loved you.
“Mingyu,” you gasped, your hands circling his back, sinking your nails into his back.
It felt so good. To have him inside you—raw, deep and yours. You looked into his eyes, noticing the strain, the pleasure, and something more. You couldn’t look away. You were completely wrapped.
“Baby,” he replied, letting you mark him with scratches. His mouth dropped open, gasping as you sank your nails deeper.
“I’m close,” you blurted.
“I’ll cum with you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss on the corner of your mouth.
You breathed in deeply, remembering how good it felt last time. Mingyu noticed, smiling as he followed your slow breaths, pushing his cock deeper inside you. Sweet pleasure bloomed inside you, making you let out a moan.
“Cum with me,” he whispered. “Come on, baby. I know you can do it.”
His hand moved to the back of your knee, spreading your thighs wider for him. He went in deeper, his thick cock massaging walls deliciously, hitting a sweet spot inside you.
“Fuck,” you gasped, moving a hand to grip his shoulder, heedlessly sinking your nails on his skin.
“That’s it,” he said with a rawness in his voice. “Cum with me, baby.”
“Mingyu!” you cried, your jaw going slack as a wave of pleasure took over your entire body. You orgasmed so hard that your vision went blurry, your mind blank as you moaned, panted and cried out his name.
Mingyu pushed his forehead against yours, coming with you, with sharp breaths that you felt brushing against your lips.
And then, he was kissing your mouth, his thrusts sloppy as he came to a full stop, pressing his hips firmly against yours.
He gently released your thigh, but didn’t stop kissing you. His hand came to cup your chin, his fingers gingerly trailing along your jawline. His kisses turned from passionate to languid, smiling when you hummed, trying to break free to catch your breath.
“You’re okay, sweetheart?” he asked sweetly.
You nodded lazily, wrapping your arms around his neck. “You?”
Mingyu smiled. “I’m okay,” he replied, backing away slightly just so your gaze could connect with his.
Then, you felt it.
You loved him.
“Did I hurt you too badly?” he asked, his eyes starting to study you.
You shook your head. “Nothing too bad. For now,” you admitted with a shaky laugh.
Mingyu sat back on his knees, flashing you a worried look.
“I’ll be fine, Gyu,” you told him. “I just need to sleep.”
He nodded to the bed. “Let’s tuck you in,” he prompted, getting ready to rise from the bed.
You groaned when he pulled out of you, the change so noticeable your body winced. “Wait,” you said, and he stilled. “Let me catch my breath first.”
Mingyu paused when you extended your arms to him, smiling when you made grabby hands at him. “Really?” he smiled, squeezing behind you and putting your body on top of his.
Mingyu breathed out when you relaxed on top of him, his arms wrapping around you to bring you his warmth. “Were you sleeping on the couch?” he asked, noticing the blanket thrown to one side of the couch.
“Trying to,” you replied, blinking slowly at him.
He turned to look at you. “Are you dozing off?” you nodded. “Baby, we gotta clean up before—”
“Sshhh,” you brought a finger to his lips, making him laugh.
He clicked his tongue, but didn’t protest anymore. A hand started stroking your hair, his fingers sinking and tangling in the strands of your hair.
“Mingyu,” you breathed after a moment of silence.
“Yes?” he replied quietly.
You drew in a breath through your nose. “How are you?” you asked with a tiny tone.
“I’m good, baby,” he replied, and you could feel that he was looking at your face. And his tone told you he was intrigued when he asked, “Why?”
“You disappeared on me again,” you said simply.
“Yeah, I know, baby,” he said, sighing deeply. “And I’m sorry about that.”
He grabbed your hand, the one that was parked on his chest and pressed kisses on the pads of your fingers.
“It’s okay,” you mumbled.
You would’ve said more—ask him what troubled him so much that he had to go radio silent. But you were half-asleep already.
“Baby,” he whispered, nudging you softly.
“Yeah?”
“Can we sleep on the bed?” Mingyu whispered, laughing lightly at the awkward position your bodies were folded into on the couch.
“Of course,” you whispered back, matching his smile.
Without skipping a beat, he rose from the couch, clumsily bending down to hook his arms beneath you. You let out a small gasp as he lifted you like it was nothing.
You didn’t protest. You were growing used to it.
He carried you to the bed and tucked you in. And like muscle memory, you curled toward his body the second he slipped in beside you. Mingyu smiled, his big arms wrapping you safely around your body as you placed your head on his chest.
The last thing you felt was his deep sigh—followed by a soft kiss that he pressed to the top of your head.
You closed your eyes. And then, it was morning again.
You blinked slowly, stirring beneath the covers. Something felt wrong before you could even register why.
You reached out across the bed. It was empty.
The warmth was already faded from his side. The room was quiet too, awfully quiet. And the light filtered through the curtains. You sat up, blinking away the weight of sleep, heart thumping loudly as you tried to listen.
There was nothing. It was empty. You were alone.
Your heart didn’t race. It just sank. There must be something wrong, there must be an explanation.
You reached for your phone on your nightstand, checking the screen. Nothing.
The hollow, heart-wrenching ache you had been trying to push down for the past few days returned. It came rushing back stronger than ever. It was saying, I told you so.
Jeon Wonwoo raised his head when he heard the lock of the door click.
Mingyu pushed the door open, quietly stepping inside the apartment and closing the door behind him. Then he leaned against it, sighing deeply in what Wonwoo could only recognize as regret.
“How did it go?” Wonwoo asked, his tone as condescending as ever. “You guys talked for hours.”
When Mingyu didn’t return home, it was evident that he hadn’t gone to your place to talk things over with you.
Mingyu let out a dry laugh. “Funny.” He muttered.
Wonwoo was sitting on the couch, watching his best friend and roommate drag his feet and plop on the couch next to him with a big sigh. There was a sombre look on Mingyu’s face, his lips were chapped, his eyes were baggy and sported dark circles underneath.
“What happened?” Wonwoo asked, not hiding the shock in his tone. “You look like you went to war.”
“I couldn’t do it,” he mumbled, chewing off the dry skin on his lips. “As soon as I saw her, I knew I couldn’t do it.”
Wonwoo remained silent, but he couldn’t help but assess the situation. There Mingyu was, struggling to talk to a girl he was infatuated with. He cared about her. Wonwoo remembered the first weeks Mingyu started seeing you. How Mingyu couldn’t stop talking about you with anyone who listened.
Now it was almost as though he was ashamed to talk about you—and Wonwoo suspected why.
“You should’ve seen her,” Mingyu muttered, his eyes lost somewhere in the distance. “It was like she was seeing her favorite person in the entire world and—” Mingyu sighed, closing his eyes, losing that mental image of you. “I couldn’t do it. I choked up.”
“So sleeping with her was a better idea?” Wonwoo asked flatly.
Mingyu winced, shaking his head as he clicked his tongue. “Fuck off,” he spat.
Wonwoo made a downturned smile. “Why? I’m being serious,” he said plainly, adding a small shrug. “You couldn’t let her off easy, so you decided to wrap her up more instead?”
Mingyu bounced his knee frantically. He didn’t dare to look at Wonwoo, and the feeling rising inside him was too familiar. It reminded him of the time he broke up with Gigi. That same sick kind of pain. The shame.
“You’re bleeding.” Wonwoo pointed out, nodding to Mingyu’s split lip.
Mingyu touched his mouth. Blood. Then he nodded dismissively, sighing as he leaned back on the couch.
He stared at the ceiling as he remembered that look in your eyes when you opened the door for him. The way you looked at him when he was inside your body—like it wasn’t just sex what you were having with him. It was something more. You trusted him.
Mingyu didn’t want to admit it, but it was clear as day now.
“You’re going to break that girl’s heart.”
Wonwoo rose from the couch, letting the disappointment in his words hang in the air. It was the first time that Mingyu did something that gained the genuine disapproval of Wonwoo. And it was almost like a knife to Mingyu’s chest.
Because Wonwoo was right.
Mingyu closed his eyes, swallowing hard to try and hold his tears back.
Then, with shaking fingers and a heart already fraying, he reached for his phone. He opened your chat and typed:
“Can we talk tonight?”
The basketball court was empty.
The pavement was wet, collecting in puddles that reflected the streetlights above.
You stared at the screen of your phone. In the chat you shared with Mingyu, you saw the location that he pinpointed for you. And that he wanted to meet after sunset.
You hugged yourself tightly, not because of the cold breeze, but because you thought you would collapse if you didn’t. Those words, can we talk? were never good. You knew this.
You were deeply acquainted with this type of fear. And you thought—you swore to yourself that you wouldn’t feel it again.
The air smelled of wet asphalt. You breathed in deeply, trying to fill your head with other things. You tried to push away the anxiety that was slowly consuming you.
Mingyu approached the bleachers with a sombre look. Crestfallen, hands in his pockets. He removed the cap of his hoodie once he stepped onto the basketball court.
His eyes found you almost immediately. And then you saw him, his shoulders lowered. As though he was relieved to see you.
Mingyu stopped just a few feet away from where you sat.
“Thanks for meeting me,” he said quietly.
You parted your mouth, raising your head to look at him. You understood that this wasn’t the type of conversation you thought you were going to have with him. Your heart sank. “Of course.”
The silence that followed was tight. It wasn’t awkward, and it didn’t feel like either you or him were looking for words to say. But rather, you were looking for the courage to say them.
Mingyu finally decided to sit down beside you, leaving just enough space between your thigh and his.
“You left this morning,” you started without looking at him.
“Yeah,” he sighed. “Sorry.”
Then, another moment of silence. You didn’t know what to say, you didn’t know if it was appropriate to tell him the exhaustion you felt from these last couple of days of nothing but mixed signals on his end.
“I didn’t know where else to do this,” he admitted after a pause. His tone conveyed that there was more that he wasn’t telling you. He dragged a hand down his face, exhaling softly. “I just… I just didn’t want to say this somewhere that felt like it could follow you home.”
Your chest caved in, making you tighten your arms around yourself. “Say what?” you asked, even though you already knew where this conversation was going.
Mingyu looked at you, his eyes searching your face. That was when you saw the brittle look in his eyes.
And for a second, you thought that he might take it back. Whatever he was thinking of saying. But then he swallowed hard, as though mustering strength.
“I care about you,” he stated with a strangled tone. “So much more than I planned to.”
You stared at him, confused.
He lowered his gaze, looking remorseful as he said, “But I can’t do this anymore.”
The air in your lungs left you, and you swore you felt something inside you break beyond repair.
“What does that mean?” you asked quietly.
Mingyu looked at you, his brow furrowing slightly when he heard your voice. His eyes searched yours. “I thought I could handle it,” he said. “Us. This. Everything.”
You almost felt like you were speaking to another Mingyu. You almost felt like the person you were with last night was a different man. And you wanted him back.
“So what changed?” you asked.
“Nothing,” Mingyu said quickly, pausing to outline your features one more time. “Nothing has changed.”
You waited, staring at him as though he would take his words back. You felt like there was more. Something he was holding back.
“I still feel the same,” he added, his tone soft, but there was hurt in his words. “I still care, I still—” he cut himself off with a sharp gasp, looking away from your eyes briefly. “I still think about you. All the time.”
“Then why are you leaving?” you asked, the words spilling out before you could stop them. Before you could try and soften them. But realization was seeping in, and started to get ready for the inevitable heartbreak.
Mingyu yanked his gaze from your eyes, sending it skyward. As though he would find the answers there. He inhaled deeply and then exhaled: “Because I’m not ready. I haven’t fully healed from last time.” He muttered as though not wanting to say those words. He met your gaze again. “And you deserve someone who’s all in. You deserve someone who doesn’t pull away at the first sign of commitment.”
You swallowed the knot in your throat. “You don’t think I know what that feels like?”
Mingyu choked on his words, then he looked at you—really looked. And you knew he would find the vulnerable girl you had been trying so hard to hide.
“This isn’t about you not being enough,” he said gently. “This is about me not being whole.”
You huffed, trying to keep the tears at bay. “I never asked you to be whole. I just wanted you to stay.”
He winced, and his gaze dropped. “And I thought I could.”
The pain in your heart blinded you. It made you irrational. So you weren’t thinking straight as you blurted, “Is this because of her?” you whispered shakily.
Mingyu parted his mouth, a light frown showing on his face. “No—” he blinked in confusion. “This has nothing to do with her—”
“I know she tried to reach you the other night, at my apartment,” you said uncontrollably.
He motioned towards you, as though trying to eliminate the space between you, but suddenly stopped himself. He went rigid, as though commanding himself to stand his ground. “This has nothing to do with her,” he repeated. “She was out of my life since before you and I crossed paths, I swear.”
You watched him for a moment. Then you understood that Mingyu didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to leave, he wanted more. You knew it.
“I thought I was ready for this. For us.”
You shook your head once. Tears blurred your vision, but you blinked them away. You wouldn’t cry. Not in front of him.
“I didn’t want to end it like this,” he whispered. “But dragging it out would’ve been worse.”
You raised your gaze at him, jaw set. “Then just say it, Mingyu,” you said. “Don’t protect me.”
He parted his mouth. Then closed it. But you knew that his decision was made.
“I’m ending this,” he whispered.
Mingyu paused, and you understood that he was waiting for you to say something. Maybe he wanted you to plead, to negotiate.
You just stared past him, tightening your arms around your body, bracing for the cold. “I think you should go, Mingyu,” you mumbled quietly, but there was a slight bitterness in your tone.
Mingyu froze beside you. And when you thought that he would say something more, he didn’t. He nodded once, like he already knew there was nothing else to say.
He got up and started walking. You looked away, deciding that you wouldn’t watch him walk away from you. You turned your head to your side, staring down at the puddles of water across the basketball court.
Part of you wanted to stop him, to beg him to stay, to tell him that you could wait for him. There was so much more that you didn’t tell him—that you were in love with him, that you were willing to take whatever part of him he was capable of giving you.
But none of it mattered. He was already walking away. The sound of his footsteps was all you could hear, then nothing.
You didn’t see him standing a few meters away. You didn’t see when he turned around, one last glance over his shoulder.
Mingyu saw you from afar, sitting in the same spot. You were still hugging yourself tightly.
Then his heart broke.
You started sobbing, hiding your face on your knees. His first impulse—what his heart wanted—was to run back and hold you. But he was doing what was right, for you, for him. Even though it felt wrong.
Mingyu balled his hands into fists, turning around once more as he walked away, for good this time.
☆ author's note: hellooooooo
this author's note is to thank you again for your amazing support!! thank you for reading, thank you for your feedback, for sharing and for being here with me in my little writing corner! hehe
i've been thinking a lot about fanfic, about writing and about what it all means. you know? people say that fanfic is for free but it's not. it's not free for most writers. it takes us time, dedication, effort, etcetera. so i for one truly appreciate it whenever i receive feedback on your part.
i guess i'm saying all of this to say, thank you. thank you at the ones who send feedback in whatever form. whether it is an anonymous ask, a reblog with comments, or by dropping a comment down below. hell, even by liking this post you're letting me know that you're here. you have my gratitude! 🩵
so.... 👉🏻👈🏻 yell at me in the comments for this chapter? idk kjfghd next part is going to get interesting
toodles
☆ STAY TUNED FOR PART V! ☆ | PREVIOUS CHAPTERS | SUPPORT ME ♡
© TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.
#mingyu smut#mingyu x reader#svthub#ksmutsociety#k vanity#thediamondlifenetwork#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen x reader#seventeen imagines#svt fanfic#svt x reader#kim mingyu x reader#seventeen fanfic#mingyu fluff#mingyu imagines#mingyu scenarios#mingyu drabbles#mingyu sub#kim mingyu fluff#kim mingyu imagines#kim mingyu x you#mingyu x you#mingyu x y/n#kim mingyu x y/n#mingyu angst#svt x you#hannieween
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I NEED more of MC and Optimus smut stuff🙏🙏🙏🙏 bros a prime, and he also became addicted to MC‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥💥
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
/not forcing btw!!! Take all the time you need!!!
Oh anon how you tempt me.
Minors do NOT interact! 18+ only!
Warnings : GN!Reader, belly bulge
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Optimus knows he shouldn't be hooked on you like he is, you're his partner, his beloved, he adores you and wants to spent nothing but all his time with you, alas he is busy, but any free time is spent with you! He wants to take you on dates, to lay and talk with you.
He's ashamed how much he loves your valve.
He wants to hear about your day, truly he does, but he can't stop himself from holding you up and buring his glossa into your leaking valve. Your cries and mewls make his engine rev, he could listen to you all day.
He is Optimus Prime, leader of the autobots, and yet with you he is nothing more than a pleasure bot made just for you.
He has all your sweet spots, all your whorish expressions, all your wants and what makes your knees weak, all locked into his brain module. He grows restless when he's not with you, not having you on his spike is a fate worse than death for him, he just needs to have you.
The smell of your heady sex, the sounds of your pleasure echoing in his habsuite, the taste of your salty sweat on his glossa. His blue optics illuminate the dim room, though he's staring at your bulging stomach.
He can't get enough.
It's never enough.
"O-Optimus..!" Your small hands grip his servo that has you by the waist, using you like a fleshlight.
"I'm sorry, I can't...*mmm...oh frag, so tight! Gonna...you're going to make me overload-!!"
You squeal, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as Optimus quickens his thrusts, rutting into you like a heat stricken beast. He's losing control of himself, his voice crackling into static with each whine he lets out, he just needs more.
You aren't sure you can cum again, he's been fucking you like a mech starved, and to Optimus he might as well have been, going over five hours without painting your insides with his transfluid is a crime to him.
"Just one more, please, just overload for me once more."
His voice is breaking, his optics are crossing at just how tightly your valve clenches around his spike. But you know the truth, its never just one more, you'll be here until someone comes looking for him.
and who knows when that will be.
"Fuck! Fuck fuck, please it's too much, you're-mm!!- too deep. Oh god, Optimus!"
"Yes, yes, just like that. Plese, indulge me." He vents loudly, trying to cool himself off but it's all just too much and not enough to sate him.
It'll never be enough, he needs you.
He wants you, all of you, every last bit of you.
#valveplug#transformers x reader smut#transformers Optimus x reader smut#Optimus prime x reader smut#transformers x reader#transformers Optimus x reader#human x robot#mdni#smut#spicy#🔞🔞🔞
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𝐫𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐝 ₊ ⊹
obsessed!optimus prime x human!reader obsessed!megatron x human!reader obsessed!starscream x human!reader
summary: various mechs react to your injury. didn't specify what happened to reader in starscream' part so you can fill the gaps yourself
cw: angst, hurt, graphic injury (reader), blood and gore, possessiveness, obsessive thoughts, very ooc starscream
word count: 2700
thank you!! <33
i may write the 'next part' for other bots too when mood for angst comes back...
He reacted too slowly, missing the leap by mere seconds. Didn’t make it in time to shield you from the stray projectile, which struck directly at your side, piercing the abdomen and immediately knocking you to the ground. He deals with the attacker without hesitation, taking down the Vehicon that had ambushed you during your ride. Quickly moves to your side, shielding from further threats. Something he should have done from the very beginning.
Your eyes are closed, and chest heaves rapidly, chasing after the blood slowly spilling from your wound. Optimus realizes he has never seen your equivalent of energon before. He’s seen bruises and scratches but never blood. Once, he was curious about what it might look like, how it would behave outside your body. Now, he would give everything to erase this image from memory.
He feels disgust—not with you, never with you—but with himself. Because he let this happen. Because your suffering and the scar that will forever remind you of his failure are his doing. He looked into your eyes and swore to protect you at all costs, even at the cost of his own life.
He failed. As always. But you should not bear the harvest of his incompetence.
And to think, he once desired to be your partner, to bear the title of conjunx. Now, as he considers it, the thought feels like a cruel joke.
He’s convinced his entire body is aflame, as though he’s sharing your pain. As if the projectile had torn through his own frame. You deserve this pain, he thinks. Should suffer more, take this burden from you and carry it himself, and preferably, bear it for the rest of his life—an echo of failure, a reminder to never let anything happen to you again.
“[Name]…” he tries, his voice unworthy of a Prime—weak, strained, fighting against his own voice box. “I beg you…” He wants to add more, but physically cannot.
No response. He clenches his servo so tightly that it begins to tremble, energon soon dripping from the stress. The vision of your death flashes through processor. Then remorse, fury, and grief. Days spent admiring you, fantasizing about the future twist into self-torment, revisiting the image of your lifeless body before him because he acted too late.
Cannot allow that future to come to pass. You will not give your life for his mistake. Even if his passion never bears fruit, even if your smile continues to haunt him in his dreams, even if your closeness is limited to shared rides, he will not let you go. He is willing to endure the worst tortures, walk through hell and back, starve and ruin himself just so you can see another sunrise.
“Ratchet, ground bridge. Immediately.” The true Prime emerges. Stern and decisive. “Bring surgical tools.”
The medic arrives swiftly. Unlike his leader, Ratchet doesn’t take an eternity to overcome the shock. He gently lifts you onto his servo and takes you to the base, directly to the operating table. Optimus follows closely behind, optics fixed on you, desperately searching for signs of life.
Optimus doesn’t leave your side, staying through the operation, watching as Ratchet stitches the wound with his trademark precision. The medic refrains from his usual muttering about caution. One look at Optimus’s empty faceplate, devoid of any visible emotion but still fiercely focused on you, reveals the terror within. The fear and guilt have burrowed so deeply that even after the procedure is finished, with you unconscious but stabilized and safe, hooked up to an IV, Optimus does not leave you.
Wants to etch this image into his memory, so it becomes his specter. A motivation to reflect on himself, on your relationship. He must become better, more attentive, and less distracted. Because he isn’t sure if another failure like this would break him. If you were to end up on the operating table again, would he join you in death? Even though he knows it’s a lie. No matter how battered life makes him, no matter how many heartaches you bring him, he is compelled to continue the fight.
He longs to take your pain away. To bear it himself, to atone for his sins. And so he does, staying by your side without pause. Doesn’t eat, doesn’t rest, merely existing and waiting for you to wake up, incapable of doing anything else. He knows the team is worried, that they check in on him, bringing energon, begging him to rest, offering to take over the vigil, but he refuses every time. This is his burden, his failure, and he will not place it on anyone else. He must atone.
Intends to suffer alongside you until you fully recover. He doesn’t expect you to forgive him; doesn’t even dare to hope for it. But will the horror fade into the fog of an unpleasant memory if, from time to time, you grant him the same look you once did?
You lie in his servo, small, trembling, barely alive. Your entire forearm is crushed, and the side of your torso bears claw marks—a result of your encounter with a Vehicon who wasn’t acquainted with human fragility. Megatron’s soldier only intended to carry the runaway back to his master, not realizing that grabbing you by the arm would cause such devastating harm. It wasn’t done on purpose, nor was there any intent to deliberately hurt the partner of the Decepticon leader. Well, it didn’t matter anymore, now that the Vehicon lay dead with several holes in their frame.
Despite the carnage, Megatron doesn’t seem fazed. He carries you to the medbay with his familiar proud stride, showing no signs of stress. Calm and cold-blooded, unnaturally so. Yet his optics remain fixed on you, monitoring you, searching for signs of agony.
"You will survive," he states firmly, words resolute.
This composure is a bluff, a rational decision to avoid spiraling into destruction and despair. You didn’t need his wrath right now, silently demanding rescue. There would be time later for him to unleash his fury, to drive the message into everyone’s heads that if a similar situation ever occurred again, it wouldn’t end with just one Vehicon. He wouldn’t be so composed next time.
"I do not permit you to die," he adds.
In the recess of his servo, blood pools—your reminder that you urgently need medical attention, but also his. Perhaps for the first time since you set foot on the Nemesis. He clings to that need, even though he wishes to experience it under different, more fitting circumstances.
The medic is already waiting in the medbay, preparing the operating table for a small human. Knockout straightens at the sight of his leader and gestures to the empty table, where you are carefully placed. The silver mech steps back but does not leave the room. He intends to witness the procedure, to maintain complete control over it, even if he isn’t the one holding the tools. Needs to be certain that the only thing you leave this room with is scars from the operation. He allows no thought of any other outcome.
"My liege," Knockout begins, but Megatron’s optics remain locked on you. "I must inform you that I’m not yet fully versed in human anatomy."
Fury begins to seep through in the form of bared dentas.
"Well, I trust you are versed enough to save their life."
"Yes, I will do my best, but I must emphasize that the likelihood—"
"Knockout. You have exactly three nanokliks to make a decision. Your life or theirs. What is your choice?"
The medic bows submissively and picks up his tools. "Understood, my lord."
Megatron stays present throughout the entire procedure, closely observing as the bleeding gradually subsides and your body begins to regain its shape. He should be pleased that you’ll survive and soon be able to sit in his servo again—this time not bleeding out. Perhaps you’ll even look at him a bit more kindly when you learn that he personally carried you to the medic and dealt with the wretch who spilled your blood.
Yet his mind keeps returning to the feeling of utter panic he experienced when he saw you barely alive, with a cascade of crimson flowing from your wounds. He hadn’t expected anyone to provoke such a reaction in him—a sensation of dread, of helplessness. It lasted only a moment, swiftly transforming into rage, but it was enough to take him by surprise. Normally, he considers hypotheticals a complete waste of time, but he can’t stop wondering: what if you had died? He knows you won’t, because you belong to him. But if you had truly left him, struck him in his most vulnerable spot by taking yourself away—would anyone have been able to stop him? To halt the devastation before it consumed even him?
"There’s a strong chance they’ll survive," Knockout reports, wiping his servos clean of the unpleasant, human blood.
"I cannot rely on a ‘strong chance,’ Knockout. I need certainty," he growls. "So… is everything fine with [Name]?"
"Yes, my lord. However, they must rest extensively, preferably under the close supervision of a me—"
He doesn’t finish the sentence, as Megatron has already lifted you back into his servo. "I will decide that," he interrupts. "Expect frequent visits. Be prepared." With that, he leaves the medbay.
A claw gently strokes your head, tousling your tangled hair. You’ve already spent too much time in the company of the narcissistic medic—as if he would ever allow you to remain there without his constant vigilance. No, he had sworn to care for you, and not even death could meddle with that vow.
At first, he thinks it’s a weak start to a joke. You like to tell him jokes, maybe that’s how you got to his spark and shaped it into your likeness. He never considered them exceptional, and they were rarely funny, not measuring up to the quality of those from his home planet. But sometimes, they made life more bearable than he’d ever admit because they were yours, and then they became private, reserved just for the two of you.
But the closer he gets, and the larger your figure becomes, the prologue turns cruelly engaging. Because you’re lying motionless on the ground with your eyes closed, and blood seeping from your side. You show no signs of life.
He mass-shifts even before transforming, landing sharply on the ground, pedes digging into the surface.
"[Name]!" he yells. Kneeling beside you, knees sink into the soft earth, staining them with dirt. But his focus remains entirely on your small, unmoving body. "Would you be so kind as to stop joking? Get up!"
Because if this is a joke, it’s exceptionally cruel.
His claws tremble as he brings them closer to you, gently brushing your cheek, trying to rouse you. To make you show him any sign that everything is okay, even though he knows it’s not. As always, he tries to deceive himself, convince himself that you’ll come out of this unscathed, and that the horror before him won’t leave a mental burden behind.
"You fool," he hisses. "This isn’t funny, not even a little, do you hear me? Get up!" Voice cracks, and his strokes quicken. "Ha ha, you got me. Congratulations, one of your pathetic jokes finally caught me off guard. You can stop now..." He’s no longer stating; now, he’s pleading — for mercy, for another dose of humanity that you had mercifully bestowed upon him, even though he never truly deserved it.
With uncharacteristic tenderness, he pulls you into his arms, yearning to feel some sign of life against his body—proof that this isn’t the end. Your heart beats rapidly; feels it drumming against his chassis, granting him temporary peace. But it’s fleeting, as panic swiftly regains control. He doesn’t let it show, the terror boiling inside. He holds you tighter. Optics stare into nothingness as he tries not to think about the implications of your condition and what consequences it might lead to.
"Wake up, do you hear me? Now!" he screams desperately "[Name], please, I feel like I’m losing my mind."
No, you won’t leave him. You can’t do this. You mustn’t.
A faint groan catches his attention, and he gently pulls you away from his chassis to inspect your face. Apparently, you heard his plea, because a grimace appears on your pale face. Starscream can’t discern what it signifies. Pain? Despair? Confusion? Whatever it is, it softens his features, revealing hope that this is, in fact, a poor joke.
You blink rapidly, revealing bloodshot, unfocused eyes that lock onto him. Your chest begins to rise and fall more quickly. And even despite the horror you must feel, the pain burrowing deep into your body, the confusion and exhaustion, you manage to smile for him. As if you had a reason to.
"Star..." you whisper.
"Yes, yes, I’m here! You’re never to scare me like this again, do you understand? Never." His last word is a growl, though his servos remain gentle.
Hearing your voice anchors his thoughts, letting him focus on the possibility that things will be alright. That you’ll both come out of this unscathed, because this entire farce was driving him to madness. But he realizes he doesn’t want to hear you say his name as though it were for the last time. As if it were a farewell. No. You promised him eternity. You broke him, reprogrammed his processor to think only of you, infected his body to make it weep when he hadn’t seen you for too long, and now you intended to leave him? No. He won’t allow it. You swore eternity, and you will keep that promise. Otherwise, it would prove he truly didn’t deserve softness. That he was never meant to know comfort.
"Frag," he curses, lowering his helm because, for some reason, he can’t bear to look at you. Instead, he notices the crimson stain on your side growing, overtaking your shirt and slowly reaching your pants. His olfactory senses are assaulted by the metallic, unpleasant smell, and he concludes that this must be the scent of human death. "Did he do this to you? Hurt you? Violate you?"
Did Megatron finally find out about your relationship? Recognized you as a weak point, a tactic to get to him in the most devastating and cruel way? He searches his memories for provocation, an act of defiance, another attempt to seize power, though he’d recently tried to keep his head down, to behave. For you, so this would never happen. But Megatron needed no particular reason to strike. Especially not him.
Vents a sigh of relief when you weakly shake your head, but it’s not enough to restore calm. You’re still suffering, still bleeding out, and he is powerless. Usually, such powerlessness was closely tied to irritation when he lost control over his own fate. Now, he feels only a chilling terror in his lines at the thought of losing you. Of losing the love you gave him.
"Good... That’s good." It’s not good. Nothing is fragging good.
Your eyelids begin to flutter again, as if you’re fighting with yourself to stay conscious. You try to focus on him, keep your gaze fixed on a single point, but your eyes refuse to cooperate, rolling back.
"[Name]?" your chest rises and falls rapidly. "You must hold on, do you hear me?! Hey, hey! Focus!"
"S-Star..." you try, even quieter than before. "It hurts... help..."
"Stay with me, now. Please," his voice cracks. "You won’t leave me alone, will you? You promised..."
"It hurts..."
"I know, I know, hold on." He repeats himself. Knows how to get out of this situation, to use the last resort. It involves enormous risk and danger, especially for you, but he can’t hesitate any longer. Can’t wait. Can’t lose you.
He sends a message to Ratchet.
"Just a little longer, [Name]." He soothes, though he no longer knows who needs reassurance more. "Don’t make me die with you."
#transformers x reader#optimus x reader#obsessed!optimus#optimus prime x reader#megatron x reader#obsessed!megatron#starscream x reader#obsessed!starscream
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OT13 reacting to their s/o flashing them mid-argument to shut them up
Request: hey!!
first of all it is incredibly nice of you to not post any suggestive/smutty things during ramadan!! I still have a silly request in that direction and I know you won't do it until after this month but I fear I might forget it if I don't request now😭😭
how do you think would the svt members react if you (their gf) randomly flash them during an argument?? for e.g lets say they don't let you talk or smth and yoi just pull up your shirt to make them shut up😭
thank you so much and have a nice day!!💓
A/N: You are so sweet for what reason? 🥺 Here you go, I hope you like it !!!
A/N #2: I lost myself while writing Mingyu and Minghao's parts lmao, I hope you don't mind this reaction being long.
Content warning: MDNI! Established relationship. manhandling, kissing, teasing, body worship, missionary, flustered to focused, praise, overstimulation if you keep teasing him/let him, pussy eating, slow burn to deep heat, dirty talk, couch, kitchen counter and bed scenes , low-key subby energy in seungkwan for some reason, messy kisses, they're down bad for you, clothing kink, mirror play, possessiveness, oral ( bot m. and f. receiving), unprotected sex (don't be stupid), mild degradation, rough makeout, sadism, bondage, edging. lmk if I missed anything !
This is my personal opinion and perspective. It may not accurately reflect their real-life personalities or behaviors.
Seungcheol: You’re arguing—well, he’s arguing, raising his voice and not letting you get a word in. And then you suddenly lift your shirt. Now, thanks to you, all you can hear rn is, dead silence. His mouth stays open mid-sentence. “...What?” His anger deflates instantly and now he’s just blinking at you, jaw flexing as he tries not to smirk. “…You trying to distract me, baby?” Steps forward, corners you against a wall, smirking low. “It worked. Let’s talk after.” Seungcheol leans in, his face inches from yours as he traps you against the wall with his arms caging you in. His smirk turns into a playful grin as he presses his forehead against yours. "You know what? Forget the argument. You win." Hands slide down the wall to grip your hips, pulling you closer as he leans in, presses a soft kiss to your neck, biting gently before pulling back with a laugh.
Jeonghan: You’re mid-bickering over something really stupidly dumb when you’ve had enough of his smug comebacks. So you flash him without any warning. Jeonghan laughs like it’s the best thing he’s seen all week [probably (?)] “Oh? That’s your strategy now?” he says and walks over slowly, dragging a finger across your exposed skin. “Keep doing that and you’ll never win another argument again. I’ll make sure of it.” I KNOW IT'S SO HOT OF HIM Jeonghan leans in closer, his breath tickling your skin as he traces patterns on your stomach. Kisses trail lower as he hooks his fingers in your waistband, slowly tugging down the fabric to reveal more skin. "You know what happens now, right?" He looks up at you with a mischievous grin, "You lose the argument, remember?" He drops to his knees in front of you, kissing a trail from your stomach downwards as his hands grip your thighs firmly. "You used your body to shut me up... now I'm going to use my mouth to make you shut up." His tongue flickers out, teasing along your inner thigh.
Joshua: You try to explain your point but he’s lowkey ignoring you. One flash and— his eyes go wide. “Babe??” That fucking hottie, turns red. Literally flustered like he just saw his first boob. “I—are we seriously doing this right now?” He starts giggling laughing nervously, covers his face, then just sighs. “Okay… okay you win. Come here.” Clearly aroused, decides to take control in the most primal way. He steps closer, his hands wrapping around your waist as he lifts you effortlessly off the ground. “Starting fights and flashing me like that?” his voice husky as he murmurs, “you better be ready for what comes next.” He tosses you on the bed gently and follows after, pinning you beneath him with a hungry look. Slowly, he leans down, kissing along your collarbone. His hands slide under your shirt again, but this time with reverence. “So beautiful,” he murmurs, “and all mine.” And that night, he shows you exactly what happens when you tease a man like Joshua Hong.
Jun: You catch him off guard while he’s getting fired up about you ‘never listening.’ So you flash him. He freezes but his shameless ass stares. “...That’s not fair.” But he’s definitely grinning now. His voice lowers, “you’re gonna have to take responsibility, you know?” Jun doesn’t care about the argument anymore bc all he wants rn is you. His grin turns mischievous, mirroring his suddenly sadistic thoughts. He reaches over to grab something from the bedside drawer and pulls out a pair of handcuffs and a gag, his eyes gleaming. He quickly cuffs your wrists to the headboard, ensuring you're securely bound. "Let's see how well you argue now, without a voice or the ability to move," He shoves the gag into your mouth, effectively silencing you. He then takes your underwear off and spreads your legs wide, exposing you completely. "From now on, I make the rules. And right now, the rule is - you take whatever I give you, however I give it to you."
Hoshi: He’s pacing, being annoying as fuck, hands flying everywhere, so what you do? You lift your shirt. Yes and he yelps, “EXCUSE ME??” He's fully flustered and shuts the fuck up immediately and just STARES. Still walks over like a confused puppy, muttering under his breath, “Why are you like this…” as his hands fall to his sides uselessly as he pauses right in front of you. Unable to resist any longer, he leans in and crashes his lips onto yours, passionate and demanding. His hands find your hips, gripping them tightly as he pulls you against him. Suddenly, he breaks the kiss and spins you around, bending you over the nearest surface, and without hesitation, Hoshi lifts your skirt and pulls down your underwear. He starts spanking you hard, the sound of his palm hitting your flesh echoing through the room. Between spanks, he kisses you, "You're just showing off your arousal, even as you ignore me."
Wonwoo: You’re trying to explain something, but he’s giving you that cold, nonchalant stare. So, you shock him with a quick flash. Wonwoo blinks, and then he calmly removes his glasses. “...Okay.” Walks straight toward you. "You want my attention that bad?” Now it’s you who's speechless as he pins you to the couch and whispers, “Next time just ask.” A tell that you just gave him your undivided attention by basically sexually harassing him. He smirks slightly, and without any more back and forth, Wonwoo strips you both bare, his movements swift and decisive. He settles between your legs, his dark brown eyes burning with an intensity you've never seen before. He kisses you fiercely, his hands roaming your body possessively. One hand cupping your breast and teasing your nipple with his thumb. He rolls it between his fingers, making you gasp into his mouth. Simultaneously, his other hand slides down your stomach, finding your clit and rubbing it in slow, deliberate circles. As you arch into his touch, Wonwoo breaks the kiss to trail his lips down your neck and chest. He takes your other nipple into his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around it. His fingers continue their relentless teasing of your clit, building a steady pressure that makes your hips squirm and cry.
Woozi: He’s on a full rant, not even letting you breathe. You lift your shirt: ERROR 404: LEE JIHOON HAS CRASHED. He fucking stares and then have the audacity to cover his face with both hands. “Are you INSANE?!” He’s mad, but also not mad, but also—mad that he can’t be mad anymore. Eventually just groans, hugs you tight. "You know what your problem is?" Woozi suddenly releases you, pushing his glasses up his nose. His eyes darken slightly, voice dropping an octave. He snaps his fingers suddenly. "You're sadistic. That's why you tease like that." He low-key, harshly, pushes you onto the bed behind you. His pretty hands trace your curves slowly, intentionally building anticipation. "Such pretty eyes... they'll look even better filled with tears." Jihoon leans down, his breath hot on your ear. "Let's see those tears, shall we?"
Dokyeom: You’re getting overwhelmed, so you hit him with a quick flash out of desperation. He gasps like you guys aren't dating already and doesn't see eachother's body minimum twice a day, “WHAT THE—” Fully scandalized, he looks away, then looks back, “babe. You… you distracted me!!” Argument’s over. He grouses, pulling you onto the bed while exclaiming about how ‘unfair’ that move was. Kyeom's hands are rough and impatient as he pulls you onto his lap, his fingers immediately finding their way to your pussy. "I'm going to edge you until you're begging for release," he mutters, "And do you know how I'll do thay? I'm going to make you come so many times that you'll be crying, but I won't let you have a real orgasm. You'll be reduced to a whimpering mess, all because of that damn flash." His fingers move faster, bringing you right to the edge before suddenly stopping. Dokyeom watches your face intently, a mix of amusement and dominance in his eyes. "See how close you are?" he whispers, his fingers hovering just above your clit without touching. "I can keep you right here on the edge all night." He leans down, his lips brushing against your lips.
Mingyu: He’s being annoyingly loud and trying to act like he’s right. You flash him and he, rightfully, chokes. Literally drops the mug he was holding. “HUH?!” Walk up to you like a hungry, horny man on a mission. “You better be ready to finish what you started, because I’m not letting this go.” Before you can even blink, he has you pinned against the counter, your legs boxed in by his. One hand fists the back of your shirt and tugs hard, pulling the fabric higher until you're bared to him again. He growls softly, lips brushing your collarbone. “Distracting me with these perfect tits?” He presses a wet, open-mouthed kiss just above your nipple and you gasp—loud, shaky, already arching into his touch. Your breath catches when he drops to his knees in front of you without a word, both hands now gripping your thighs. He mouths at the soft curve of your inner thigh, teeth dragging just enough to leave a mark. His tongue is teasing, but there’s nothing playful in the way he pushes your panties aside and buries his face between your legs like a man starving [which he is]. He groans into you like he’s the one being touched, hips grinding slightly into the floor as if he’s losing control just from the taste of you. “Turn around,” he says, standing up and tugging at your hips until your front is pressed against the kitchen counter, “now.” He’s already undoing his pants, groaning as he slides them down just enough, his cock hard and flushed and angry red at the tip.
Minghao: You’re in a tense back-and-forth. You flash him; dead serious. He raises one elegant brow. “Oh… so that’s how you handle conflict.” Stares you down until you’re the one blushing. "Interesting strategy," he mutters, stepping closer. “You better mean it.” He’s in front of you now, tall and intimidating, one hand sliding around your waist as the other tugs your shirt all the way off. His fingertips trace your bare skin, mapping out his next move. “You’re already blushing,” he says with a smirk. “What happened to all that attitude from five minutes ago?” You really don’t have any smartass answer 🤷🏻♀️ His lips ghost over your shoulder, hand slipping beneath your waistband and then, he leads you to the full-length mirror in the bedroom, pulling you to stand in front of him, chest to your back. He meets your eyes in the reflection. “Look at you. All flushed and trembling from one look, from one little comment.” His hand slides lower, fingers teasing over your wet heat. You bite your lip, struggling to hold still. “Watch what you started,” he whispers, kissing behind your ear. “No looking away.” His fingers move slowly, knowing, driving you insane while he watches your expression change in the mirror. One hand teasing your chest, the other curled against your core. You cry out as he sinks two fingers into you, curling them just right. He pulls his fingers out slowly and licks them clean right behind you—eyes meeting yours in the mirror. “Get on the bed. On your knees. I want that mouth next.” You move without a word, body shaking, heat pooling in your stomach. You’re already dizzy from the pace lmao. He lets you worship him first, praises falling from his lips between soft groans, hands gripping your hair with barely restrained control, and when he finally takes you—you feel owned, worshiped and ruined all at once. Hao holds you still, hips rolling into yours as his voice stays steady against your skin. “Next time we argue,” he murmurs, thrusts hitting deeper, “just strip. Saves us both the trouble.”
Seungkwan: “You’re not even listening to what I’m trying to—” Boob flash “AAAAAAAAAA—” Takes a fucking step back, “you did NOT just do that!” He's blushing so hard, flustered beyond help, pacing like an ajumma in crisis, but he caves instantly. “Okay, fine! You win!! Just stop flashing me when I’m trying to make a point!!” He storms toward you like a man on a mission, face red, eyes dark. “You’re evil,” he mutters, yanking your shirt off. “Evil, evil woman—” His mouth is already on you, hot and open, kissing the fuck out of everywhere he can reach. He pushes you down onto the couch nearby, tugging your shorts down halfway before dropping to his knees. “Now you don’t get to argue,” he says, kissing between your thighs. “You just stay quiet and take it.” And oh, you do [He makes sure of it.]
Vernon: “…What?” He deadpan stares at your boobs, then at your face, then back. “Are you serious right now?” Confused. Slightly aroused. Definitely distracted. “I don’t even remember what we were talking about.” [He never will, bc he’s too focused on you now.] He steps closer, hands slowly finding your waist, one thumb brushes the underside of your breast, reverent. “…You’re insane,” he whispers, grinning. He pulls you in a slow, heated kiss. Touches you like you're made of art. Lifts you up onto the counter or couch, whatever’s nearest, pushing your legs open as his mouth moves lower. “You win,” he murmurs against your skin. “Now let me worship you for it.” He presses a kiss to your inner thigh before licking a hot stripe over your center. “God, you taste like a sin,” he groans. His fingers dig into your hips, holding you still when you squirm. “You’re not going anywhere, baby. Not until you can’t remember your own name either,” and he keeps his promise :> Tongue deep, lips wrapped around your clit, humming every time you moan his name. When your thighs clamp around his head, he just groans into you like it fuels him.
Dino: You hit him with the flash mid-sentence and I kid you no, je literally shuts down. Eyes go wide. “Did… did you just—?” He walks away for a full 30 seconds before coming back. “That’s illegal. You can’t just do that.” Dino.exe has crashed. You raise an eyebrow, smug. “I just did.” He stares, then grabs your hand and pulls you toward the bedroom. “You better be ready to take responsibility.” Once you’re on the bed, he’s on his knees between your thighs in seconds, lips trailing fire up your skin, and then he devours you. Lips wrapped around your clit, tongue flicking just right. His focus is insane; he’s making a point with every swipe of his tongue. “Next time you flash me like that,” he murmurs against your soaked core, “just know I won’t stop until you’re begging.” p.s: you do beg.
#svthub#mansaenetwork#seventeen smut#smut#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seventeen scenarios#svt scenarios#seventeen reaction#svt reaction#scoups seventeen#jeonghan seventeen#joshua seventeen#jun seventeen#hoshi seventeen#wonwoo seventeen#woozi seventeen#dk seventeen#mingyu seventeen#minghao seventeen#seungkwan seventeen#vernon seventeen#dino seventeen#seventeen#svt#★— mylovesstuffs twenty twenty five#★— mylovesstuffs
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dick grayson's hands rested on your hips, feeling the thin fabric of the leather mini-skirt you had been dying to try on, "i dunno sweetheart it's pretty short" he says, laying his head on your shoulder. your giggles fill the dressing room as you try and admire the piece of fabric hugging your thighs. here you both stood in the changing of one of your favorite shopping centers in gotham.
you had asked dick if he could shopping with you and the man had no problem taking you out. the two of you were close friends, so this was nothing out of the ordinary other than the fact that the man was glued to him, even with you inside the changing room. he told himself that was just going to help you change, there was no shame in that right? but all those thoughts dispersed once you had answered his question "but it's kinda cute right, i need one for my date tonight?"
and there it was, the brief silence between you two that made it seem like there could be something more. any man with an ounce of shame or maybe some decency would've let go of you by now but instead, he gently began to kiss your neck as if what you just said hadn't fazed him. "date tonight? can't you skip it f'me doll?" he pleaded in a quiet tone, his hand now scrunching up the letter skirt and lifting it "dickie-"
he cuts you off with a firm squeeze of your hips, you could feel his body pressing against yours, his harden crotch pressing up against your thin stockings. you didn't have the will to push him away and to be honest, you didn't want to. "what? you can always reschedule" his kisses found a way to your shoulder "and if he's upset by that, then he knows he wasn't worth it" a small part of you found that to be a bit sweet but another part you remembered that dick knew exactly what to say to get you in bed and he was doing it right now "that's- that's not the point dick"
"when did he ask you out anyway," he asked trying not to lose his compromise, you were his friend there was no reason to lose his composure over this but fuck that he had all the reason to. "like about 2 weeks ago when you had to go back to blüdhaven for work," he thought in his own little way you and him were…something at least. and it wasn't the first time he'd ask for you to skip dates for him and it definitely was the first time he'd touch you like this and you knew it wouldn't be the last.
"so what about me?" dick's rough hands slyly moved to cup your ass, giving you a firm squeeze and without even giving you time to recover and be quickly reacher for your face forcing you to look at him through the mirror "m'not enough now?"
"dickie that's not what i mean"
"no i get it, i leave and you get a bit lonely" he teases, pressing his clothed cock again your thin stockings. a groan slips from his lips, feeling your ass against his cock. the two you had practically forgotten you were in a public changing room but that would back to bite you at a later time. watching from the mirror, you take in the image of dick unbuckling his belt. and his pants & boxers fall to his ankles. he takes his sweet time as he pulls down your stockings, watching you waiting patiently "you missed me, didn't you babe?"
you turned to face away but again he made you look at him, "yes, i missed you dickie" and with those words, dick held and waist and gently pushed into you, his hips rocking slowly, trying to find a rhythm. you held in your moans, but the few that did slip out were not intended. though they did give dick a bit more of an incentive.
you placed your hands on both sides of the mirror trying not to lose your balance as he thrusted in and out of you. one hand focused on making you look at the other the other, thumb stroking your clit. this was the worst part about sleeping with dick grayson. the more you let the bot fuck you, the harder it is to move on each time. "dickie please, a little harder, s'not enough"
"don't forget where we are sweetheart, there only so much i can do with making any noise" you huffed in frustration but you could tell dick himself was struggling not to let any groans but god you were so warm and tight, and even if he didn't make any noise, he was surely going to make a mess of you. he leaned in towards your neck, leaving sloppy wet kisses on the neck, he wasn't going to leave any marks not yet at least. those were for later, if you were going to stay with him "if you skip that date tonight-"
"dickie i don't wanna talk about him right now" through the thrusts and slaps of skin that filled the room, dick heard you loud and clear. out of reflex, he lifted your left leg for a deeper angle, a position he knew you feverishly enjoyed. you didn't exactly take pleasure in telling him what you wanted him to do so always took it upon himself to do what he knew you needed. and you knew no other guy would replace him and he knew it too and he wouldn't let you believe that.
and just like that your phone rings, while dick grayson is balls deep inside you, fucking you in a public changing room for crying out loud and you're getting a goddamn phone call and before you have a chance to decline it, dick answers it and you just know you're absolutely fucked. but dick hips don't falter for even a second, he continues to fuck you against the mirror, with not even a hint of remorse laced in his voice.
"ahh no sorry, y/n is a little bit busy right now"
"how about she calls you tomorrow?"
"a date tonight? well i don't think i'll be done with her by then…"
his hand let go of your face and instead gripped your hip tightly, a shameless groan leaves his lips, as his cock slips in and out of your folds at a vigorous pace. your nails dug into your palm as you bit your lip, holding in the moans that threatened to escape. dick had no problem letting your little date on the other end hear him enjoy the hell out of fucking you senseless. a part of you felt embarrassed by the way he was acting but another part of you was feeling too good for you to really care. the both of you were reaching your high, and all took was his next words and you came undone in a second, "gonna fill you right up doll"
you the line cut off and instead of being enraged, you were very much relieved. at least you didn't have to stand up to another guy or dump them due to dick being a "cocky asshole", those were tim's words really but to be fair they weren't exactly wrong. he attention averted back to you once he put your phone down whilst he was still cumming inside you, a mixture of both your fluids seeping down your thighs.
"still need to buy that leather skirt?" he asked with a sadistic smirk spread across his face, he still had you trapped between him and the mirror. "it's not like you're busy tonight, right?"
#✩ kleo's sex tapes ✩#another dick grayson draft that was hella messy#so i rewrote it :)#dick grayson#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson x y/n#dick grayson x you#dick grayson smut#dick grayson imagine#nightwing#nightwing x reader#nightwing x y/n#nightwing x you#nightwing smut#nightwing imagine#dc comics#dc characters#dc x reader#dc x you#dc x y/n
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the xu minghao dilemma
❝ i was having more fun talking about how objectively and subjectively good i look. ❞
PAIRING ▸ xu minghao x fem!reader
GENRES ▸ fluff, humor, suggestive, coffee shop au, college au, childhood friends to lovers au
WARNINGS ▸ profanity, slow burn, weed consumption, tooth-rotting fluff, lowkey jeongcheol and verkwan if you squint, everyone being whipped for minghao, a somewhat heated makeout scene, friend group antics as per usual, minghao being the living embodiment of a green flag, ft. yooyeon from triples
SUMMARY ▸ like most film students, you find yourself experiencing the worst creative block of your life when you're tasked to film a documentary for your final project. enter: your old childhood best friend turned stranger, xu minghao—an (incredibly handsome) ex-dancer and barista who just might be the spark of inspiration you need to make the best film of your academic career. on the flip side, minghao needs this film to win him the scholarship that lets him dance again. despite all, your circumstances don't stop your old, repressed feelings for minghao from resurfacing.
PLAYLIST ▸ insomnia by zerobaseone • kidult by seventeen • meme by &team • heart surf by kep1er • glue song by beabadoobee
WORD COUNT ▸ 20,606 words
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ this is for user junyangis my favorite bot
“THE TIGER: ICONIC SYMBOL OF THE WILD, AND AN APEX PREDATOR THAT WE FEAR AND ADMIRE.”
You panned your camera to focus on Yoon Jeonghan, who was currently sifting through the mess of papers and notebooks across his desk. All of the drawers were turned out with their contents scattered across the carpet. His frantic search for his missing vape had been going on for the past twenty minutes, and you were certain this was his fifth time going through his belongings again.
Normal people, such as yourself, would’ve given up within the first five minutes, but your best friend’s resilience was admirable. His unwavering persistence was exactly the sort of character you wanted to showcase in your films. Without the context of the vape addiction, of course.
“And here,” you continued in the best David Attenborough impression you could conjure up, “we see a tiger in the wild.”
“Go to hell, dude,” Jeonghan snapped back. You squinted at him through your viewfinder to catch him carding a frustrated hand through his hair. “My Circadian rhythm needs flavored air to function.”
The tiny red light flickered once, then vanished as you stopped recording. “Try regular air. It’s good for you—and free.”
“Yeah? Then maybe this is my calling to get sober.”
(It was important to note that Jeonghan tended to say this very frequently.)
He finally rose from the corner of his dorm room where he had strewn the contents of his drawer all over the floor. Jeonghan crossed over to where you were sitting—on his bed, leaning against the wall with his Doraemon pillow—and plopped down beside you. His eyes, glazed-over and half-lidded, were fixed on the ceiling, as if he was going over each groove in the drywall.
For the past two hours, you had been agonizing over ideas for your documentary. Jeonghan was typically great when it came to bouncing ideas off each other, so you often pestered him until inspiration struck. Today didn’t seem like a particularly stimulating day for either of you, though. Your best friend paid attention for maybe half an hour, but even he started running out of ideas for potential documentary content.
“By the way,” he added, still stuck in a faraway trance, “do not use whatever you just recorded for your film project. I don’t consent to being exploited for views.”
It had been weeks since you came to terms with the fact that Jeonghan didn’t want to be the subject of your documentary. You had a semester to complete this project for your documentary class, and although you still had a decent amount of time left, you were starting to get worried because most of your classmates already started outlining their ideas. You hadn’t even found your main character yet.
There were quite a few reasons why you wouldn’t have chosen Jeonghan in the first place; it didn’t just chalk down to his disinterest in being filmed. You wanted to capture someone with a story—a progression or growth that tugged at the heartstrings of your audience—and using someone you weren’t already close with would help you film more objectively.
You raised a brow at your friend. “You? I was clearly filming a wild animal in its natural habitat.”
“Recording without two-party consent is tasteless,” he reminded. “And just for that, I’m not telling you the incredible, brilliant idea I just had.”
“You haven’t exactly shared that many incredible, brilliant ideas for me to feel disappointed about that.”
“No, trust me. It’s really good.” He used his elbows to prop himself up, shooting you a wide grin. His resolve to withhold his proposition crumbled within seconds of his excitement. “It’s the best idea I’ve had since that one time I stole Seungcheol’s towel and t-shirt while he was showering.”
You glanced at him through the corner of your eyes. “All you did was make him walk around shirtless.”
“Exactly.” Jeonghan returned your look with far more judgment than you had given him. “That was the best part.”
The memory was hard to forget. During your freshman year, you were living in the dorms where your RA was Choi Seungcheol. It was safe to say that a solid majority of the people on your floor had eyes for the dreamy Resident Advisor. Jeonghan only contributed to the noble cause of fan service by ensuring that Seungcheol would end up having to walk through the hallway with his glorious abs on display, his chiseled body beaded with water droplets.
“So what’s your idea? Ask Seungcheol if I can film a strip tease?”
“No, it’s—wait, that’s so good. If we can get that greenlit, you should totally—”
“Nope, definitely not doing that,” you interjected with a firm shake of your head. You were not going to present a half-naked Seungcheol as your final project. “Give me something more PG-13.”
“Boring, but fine.” After mocking a pout, Jeonghan’s lips immediately curled up in a smirk. “Xu Minghao.”
The very mention of his name made you straighten up. You hadn’t spoken to Minghao in years, and although your friends would tease you about being his childhood friend, you didn’t see your past with him as anything worth mentioning. After all, being close friends during middle school was nothing compared to the plethora of memories you made after the two of you grew distant.
“Huh?”
“Xu Minghao,” he repeated. “Streets are saying he’s quit dancing.”
You frowned. “Minghao quit dancing?”
That couldn’t be right. Minghao? The same Xu Minghao who snuck out of his house to practice for hours in dance studios? The same one who took eight trains, walked fifteen miles, and hitchhiked to get to dance camp on his own? The same one who shed tears when he won his first dance competition?
Dance was Minghao’s life; it came as naturally as breathing to him. You so clearly remembered his overwhelming passion that drove him to practice tirelessly for years. Just watching him move to the beat made you feel like he was born to express himself that way. You couldn’t imagine your childhood friend, who had been dancing his entire life, to just throw away all his hard work and talent on a whim.
“Streets also mentioned he hurt his foot real bad. Poor guy can’t compete at nationals anymore.”
“Streets?”
“I’m protecting anonymity, okay?” After you peered at him for a moment, Jeonghan caved under the pressure of your stare and added, “Fine. It was Seungkwan.”
You scoffed. All credibility of the rumor vanished like a wisp of smoke.
“Seungkwan also claimed Vernon needed to go to the emergency room when he got a paper cut,” you replied, unimpressed.
“No, I think it really is serious this time. You can check it out for yourself, if you want,” Jeonghan said. “He’s working at the café like, every day now.”
“His mom’s café?”
“Mmhm. He stopped for a while ‘cause of school, but he just picked up his shifts again.”
“And you think that’s what I should do for my documentary? Minghao quitting the one thing that could be worth filming?”
“I don’t think he actually wanted to quit,” Jeonghan said, looking down at his intertwined hands in his lap with a puzzled expression, as if the Xu Minghao Dilemma™ had been keeping him up at night. “I don’t know what it is. Seungkwan said he seemed kind of off when he was talking about it.”
You were quiet for a moment, and Jeonghan continued, “You also find it weird, don’t you? It doesn’t make sense that he’d just quit like that.”
“I mean, if something’s really going on with him, then I don’t think it’s right for me to ask if I can turn that into a documentary,” you said.
“I’m not saying that, but…” He trailed off before shrugging. “I just think it wouldn’t hurt to check in on him.”
You arched a brow at him. “Why don’t you check in on him? Aren’t you two friends?”
“We’re bros,” he corrected. Cue a dramatic groan from you, which was promptly ignored as Jeonghan elaborated, “our way of showing that we’re there for each other is by queueing up on League together or talking about the Roman Empire.”
“Jeonghan, you have never once mentioned the Roman Empire.”
“Jokes on you, I did a research project on it in middle school.” He shut his eyes to wave off the tangent he started going off on. “Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that you’re a girl—a woman. Women get to the point. They get things done.” He gave you a resolute nod, and you were starting to wonder if he was simply trying to use flattery against you. “Hence why I think you can figure out what’s going on with Minghao.”
You sighed. “But Minghao and I haven’t even spoken in so long. I don’t want to overstep.”
“Look, I’ve texted Hao—even met up with him in person—but the guy won’t budge. He just gives me that customer service smile of his and says he’s fine.”
“And what makes you think I’ll be able to do anything?”
“I’m not saying you will, but I think he’ll turn around when he realizes more people are concerned about him.”
On one hand, you didn’t exactly have any sort of relationship with Xu Minghao that gave you a reason to visit him. Did he even remember your name? You could only imagine the confusion drawing his brows together upon seeing you after years of silence. Or perhaps he wouldn’t care at all. The two of you could probably pass by each other as complete strangers, and he wouldn’t experience the same flicker of old memories that made your heart ache.
On the other hand, you truly were curious. And it wouldn’t hurt to visit the old café, either.
Plus, you would never admit it out loud, but part of you had been waiting for an excuse to talk to your old friend again.
You felt utterly stupid as you stood at the entrance of the café.
First, your heart was beating unbelievably fast for something that shouldn’t have been this difficult of a feat. It was a coffee shop, for crying out loud. All you had to do was walk inside and order something without making a fool out of yourself. Couldn’t be that hard, right?
Second, it was hard to pretend like you were only here for coffee when your only intention was to check up on Minghao. Now you were wondering if you should’ve texted him first, but that probably would’ve taken you a few days to work up the courage to send.
And the cherry on top of your miserable cake was that you didn’t even like coffee. Maybe you could get something to eat, but you weren’t big on pastries, either. You just had to force yourself to get whatever seemed the most appetizing and hope that Minghao took notice of you.
That was another thing; you didn’t even know what hours he worked. Your plan was to work in the corner of the café until you saw him coming in. Knowing your luck, he probably didn’t even have a shift scheduled for today. Still, you were determined to wait it out since you had come this far already.
With a shaky breath, you pushed open the door and were immediately greeted by a rush of warmth. You instinctively tugged your cardigan tighter around your frame as you scanned the space. It had been years since you stepped into the café, but everything was about the same; almost all the tables were occupied with teenagers or lone adults who came to get work done, the back wall had a space reserved for people to leave cute notes and drawings, and a familiar barista was eyeing you from the get-go.
There he was, watching you from the counter. Clusters of stars encased in two midnight pools.
Xu Minghao, who you skillfully managed to avoid interacting with for the past six years, was looking at you with the same familiarity that stirred in your chest.
Your first reaction was to flee, but you would’ve looked ridiculous running out of the shop, so you walked to the nearest empty table first. Did people look for tables before they even ordered? You were starting to forget how to normally function as you set your bag down on the smooth oak wood.
“Sample?” a gentle voice called from behind you as you were fumbling with getting your laptop out of your bag. You looked over your shoulder to see Minghao with a tray of bite-sized slices of cheesecake with toothpicks sticking out of the top. A warm smile graced his features, so dazzling to the point where it was blinding. “It’s one of our signature desserts here.”
“Oh,” was all you could say at first, disoriented as you picked up one of the cheesecake bites. “Thanks.”
“I’ll be at the front whenever you’re ready to order.”
He left before you could get another word out, and you shoved the cube of cheesecake in your mouth so that you didn’t look completely frozen (which you were). Minghao probably went around giving samples to every customer, but surely he recognized you, right? It wasn’t like the two of you were completely oblivious to each other’s existence. Minghao had to know you two had mutual friends from the Instagram stories and posts you were featured in.
Moreover, his leg seemed fine. Boo Seungkwan had once again proven to be an untrustworthy source.
You worked up the courage to walk to the register after going over the menu about twenty times, finally deciding on getting a mango fruit tea. As soon as you were in front of Minghao, though, your predetermined order disappeared from your head and the menu looked like a blur of words.
Your mind went completely blank.
“Uh…” You were floundering for something to say—anything. Coffee was the only drink coming to mind, but you weren’t sure the caffeine would be good for your nerves. “I'll have, uh…”
This was so stupid. You waited for minutes on end to decide on your order and ended up looking like a complete fool in front of Minghao.
“Would you like a recommendation?” he offered smoothly, as if this was a routine response for him. You wondered how many other customers lost their train of thought upon seeing his face.
“Yes, please.”
“I know it's chilly outside, but our fruit teas are pretty popular. And, if I remember correctly, you've always been a fan of mango,” he said. You swore he was trying to avert his gaze now, although he had been maintaining proper eye contact up until this moment. “Injeolmi toast is a favorite here, too. I know you like injeolmi, unless your tastes have changed…”
Wow. Maybe you were off the mark all along. Minghao clearly hadn't forgotten you; in fact, he remembered more of you than you could even recall yourself.
“Mango fruit tea—that’s right. That’s what I wanted to order.” You let out an awkward laugh, brushing your hair over your shoulder to distract yourself from how hot your chest felt. “Then I’ll order both. I’ve never had injeolmi toast, but I do still like injeolmi.”
His face broke into a bright smile—the kind that made his eyes crinkle at the corners.
“Oh, good. I was worried I didn't remember correctly,” he admitted sheepishly. After entering your order into the tablet, he turned the screen around for you to pay. You were so focused on tipping that Minghao startled you when he asked, “How’ve you been?”
When you looked up, his gaze was sincere. A torrent of warmth rushed through your body.
“Good. I mean—college, you know?” Everything you wanted to say sounded garbled in your head. You didn’t even know where to begin. “I barely have any free time these days outside of assignments and working on sets.”
“Oh, right. You’re in film, huh? How’s that been for you?”
“It’s been good so far. I’m actually getting ready to film a documentary right now.”
He looked up at you with wide eyes, gleaming with genuine interest. Since Minghao had been no more than a stranger to you these past several years, you hadn’t expected to see such sincerity in his enthusiasm.
Your heart must have skipped a beat or two.
“A documentary? About what?” But then his attention was lost, his eyes unfocusing to glance at the customer waiting impatiently behind you. You immediately felt guilty for taking up so much time, but then Minghao said, “I get off in an hour. Are you still gonna be around?”
“Yeah, I will.”
“Great. Save a chair for me.” He flashed one of his shining, award-winning smiles again. “Your order will be out in a few minutes, Y/N.”
The injeolmi toast was cold.
It tasted good enough for you to not mind, but when you saw someone else carrying a tray of the steaming bread, you figured that Minghao simply forgot to heat yours up. You were disheartened that you were doomed to eat cold, chewy injeolmi, but the sweet and nutty flavor was so delectable that you ended up scarfing it down within minutes anyway. The café seemed rather busy around this time, so you didn’t put it past Minghao to rush your order.
The mango fruit tea was incredible, though. By far the best fruit tea you’ve had. It was compelling enough for you to download Yelp to leave a glowing five-star review.
When you opened Café du Soleil’s page, you noticed that your dear friend Seungkwan (credentials: Yelp Elite Squad) had already left a review mentioning the same drink.
★★★★★ Nov 7, 2024 Incredible customer service. I love Xu Minghao. The mango fruit tea changed my life for the better.
You left a review about the mango fruit tea and injeolmi toast (conveniently leaving out the fact that yours wasn’t warmed up). A much more comprehensive review than Seungkwan’s, you would say.
Your nerves were still buzzing from your conversation with Minghao. It had been years since you two had spoken to each other, and now you were waiting for him to get off his shift to catch up with you. If you maintained a friendship with him all these years, then maybe all of this would feel natural. Maybe this would’ve been your designated table to wait for Minghao after his shift, spending time with him after work and walking home together.
An hour passed by faster than you thought it would. The first ten minutes felt agonizing, watching the minutes tick by painfully slow, but once you were consumed in a discussion post for your Narrative Production class, Minghao was making his way over to you before you knew it.
“Hey, stranger,” he greeted, pulling out the chair across from you to sit down in. Your eyes followed the slice of cheesecake he brought over on a plate before he nodded toward the empty plate on your tray. “What’d you think of the toast?”
“Really good,” you gushed. You opted to leave out the part where your bread was cold. “I was almost about to go up to order again.”
“Ah, right.” He pushed the plate in your direction. “This is for you.”
“Oh,” you answered, startled. “How much was it? I can pay—”
“No, don’t worry. It’s on me,” Minghao cut in smoothly, signaling his objection with a wave of his hand. “I forgot to ask you if you liked the sample earlier, but I ended up bringing it over anyway.”
Just as you remembered, he was always thinking about others first. Minghao was so earnest in his words and actions that it was hard for you to grasp that he was real. Even in his adolescence, you remembered he had a different air of maturity from the other boys just because of how kind he was. You wanted to pick him apart and dissect his brain to figure out if he was just biologically wired to be perfect.
He was so different now—not completely different but just enough to set you on edge. Minghao had grown into his features so beautifully and still spoke in that calm and soft voice, but there was this newfound confidence he carried that seemed almost unshakeable.
With the way he was staring at you so intently, you felt pressured to give your opinion on the cheesecake right away. You forked a sliver of the cake into your mouth, hand hovering over your mouth as you chewed. Mostly because you were trying to swallow as fast as possible so that Minghao would stop being so laser-focused on you.
“It’s good,” you mused. “I should come by more often.”
He perked up at your words, and soon Minghao was enthusiastically asking you to give him a recap on everything that was going on in your life. You hardly knew where to begin—or, rather, where to pick up after the two of you stopped being close.
You told him about how your parents disapproved of your film major, how it took months of convincing and begging until they realized that you were serious about your passion for filmmaking. He listened intently as you talked about all the short films you made on your own to persuade your parents, and he even watched one of them on your phone, giving you nods of acknowledgement and an impressed hum.
The conversation bled into different aspects of your life, and Minghao was able to join in while you two talked about how you met your mutual friends. You explained how you met Jeonghan and Wonwoo at a party, somehow hitting it off so well that you two ended up hanging out the morning after. Minghao met Jeonghan when they were placed in the same orientation group, and you thought about how funny it was that the world was small enough for you two to have grown apart and still ended up with mutual friends.
It was getting dark outside by the time Minghao was giving you the rundown of how he met Seungkwan, detailing the encounter in a way that made Seungkwan seem a little insane. Apparently, Minghao had gotten Seungkwan’s number at a dance workshop and the younger boy spammed him with texts one night until Minghao agreed to hang out. Thankfully, Minghao found Seungkwan’s persistence to be charming. A stark contrast from how you went home early during your first time hanging out with Seungkwan because you were so overstimulated.
When Minghao started talking about going to a dance workshop with Jeonghan, you realized this was your opening.
“Oh, yeah,” you said, feigning a casual tone, “Jeonghan mentioned that you were quitting dance?”
A sad smile dawned on his face. “At least until I finish college. I just needed to take some time off to focus on school.”
“That makes sense, I guess. But weren’t you supposed to have a competition at the end of the year?”
“Nationals,” he clarified. “I’ve been pushing back my withdrawal, but I’m gonna have to do it soon.”
You noticed his gloomy expression, and it was making you remember Jeonghan’s words about how Minghao probably didn’t actually want to quit. If he really wanted to drop out of the competition, then you were certain the corners of his mouth wouldn’t be tugging down, nor would the light in his eyes dim.
The Minghao you once knew was honest about his feelings. He unapologetically wore his emotions on his sleeve, and he prepared himself for every possible outcome so that he could keep a strong front. You always admired how he was able to stay so calm and collected as the world weighed on his shoulders.
Now, the Minghao before you looked like a kettle sputtering water from its spout, a whistle away from overflowing completely.
It was a bold question for someone you weren’t close with anymore, but you asked, “You don’t want to withdraw, right?”
With his mouth set in a grim line, Minghao shook his head. “If it was up to me, I’d still be dancing.”
“Then why aren’t you?”
“It’s just… complicated,” he said. “Our café’s been doing decently, but it’s not enough for it to stay up and running. We were barely keeping up with rent and now they’ve upped the prices, but…” He moved his leg from under the table so that it was stretched out to the side. “I tore my meniscus around four months ago. It’s a lot better now—still sore sometimes—but we had to pay for physical therapy on top of everything. I’ve had to pick up shifts here because we’re so understaffed now, so there isn’t really enough time for me to focus on dancing.”
“If we had enough money to cushion our rent for the next three months, I think this place would be saved,” he continued, “but if I’m gonna make that happen, I have to dedicate all my time here.”
Oh. You sent Boo Seungkwan a mental apology for ever doubting him about Minghao’s injury. Perhaps he wasn’t as unreliable of a source as you assumed he would be.
You knew that the situation must have been serious for him to quit dancing, but you didn’t expect the café to be at stake. Of course, you had zero knowledge on what it took to be a dancer at a national level, but you just couldn’t wrap your head around Minghao giving up this easily.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. It’s my decision.”
You asked, “Are you okay with that, though? Not dancing?”
“It is what it is.” He shrugged. “Our studio’s tuition on top of competition fees, private lesson fees, and workshop fees… it’s just not feasible for me to be able to keep doing this right now. Of course I could just practice on my own in the studio, but we just don’t have enough people to cover every shift here.”
You nodded along. He really sounded as defeated as his explanation made you feel, and you realized you were going to have to recount this to Jeonghan to get him to give up. This situation was far too nuanced for either of you to push Minghao to keep dancing out of pure passion. Sometimes that just wasn’t enough.
Minghao eventually had to go to close up the shop, and you had to turn down his insistent offers to give you more food until he basically shoved a bunch of pastries into your arms before you left. As you walked back to your apartment, braving the icy bite of the wind, one thing was for certain: you were most definitely not making a documentary out of Xu Minghao’s tragic story.
“I’m running a survey,” you declared, “because this is a democracy and I value all of your opinions.”
You had called for an emergency meeting the day after you met up with Minghao. Your friends were all sitting haphazardly around your room; Seungkwan had his legs up against the wall and his body sprawled across your bed, Jeonghan was right next to Seungkwan, Junhui was sitting on top of your laundry basket despite being scolded about crushing it, Vernon was on top of your desk, and Wonwoo was the only one sensible enough to be sitting in a proper chair.
Jeonghan scoffed. “She just doesn’t want to do the Minghao documentary.”
“There is no Minghao documentary,” you said. “There was never a Minghao documentary.”
“There was”—Jeonghan paused for long enough for the rest of them to think he had finished talking—“to me.”
Junhui leaned forward, nearly toppling over the laundry basket. Vernon was able to hold it down with his foot in time, although Junhui hardly even noticed his friend’s silent efforts to save him.
“What’s the Minghao documentary?” he asked, his eyes bigger than ever. “Like, Xu Minghao?”
“Yes,” Jeonghan answered. “Wouldn't you watch a Xu Minghao documentary?”
“I’d pay to watch a Xu Minghao documentary,” Junhui said, reaching over to high-five Jeonghan, who was extremely pleased that someone else supported his cause. “What can I say? He's a beautiful man.”
“Okay, there is no Xu Minghao documentary,” you repeated. “It's more of a… Xu Minghao dilemma.”
“So you called us here because of Xu Minghao,” Vernon chimed in.
“No,” you replied pointedly, “I called you here because I really value your guys’ opinions and want to hear your suggestions about what I should include in my documentary.”
“Xu Minghao,” Jeonghan supplied.
“Except for Jeonghan. I don’t value his opinion.”
“I think someone should die,” said Junhui with bright, sparkling eyes. “Something super tragic.”
“Or we can all live,” Seungkwan said.
Vernon offered, “Or how about something more sentimental—”
“—where everyone dies,” finished Junhui.
“Okay, that wasn't what I was getting at,” Vernon said with mild concern crossing his features. “You scare me.”
Seungkwan, distressed at this point, spoke up louder to rehash, “Why don’t we all just live?”
You let out a resigned sigh. “Jun, let’s keep in mind that I’m filming a documentary for a college film class, not a Marvel movie.”
This was going nowhere. Clearly, you misjudged when you decided your friends were the people to go to for serious inquiries. At this point, you were considering following up on the email you sent to the local ice skating rink a month ago, outright begging them for the chance to film their team practicing. (Spoiler: They ghosted you.)
“How about the geology department?” Wonwoo suggested, resting his elbows on his knees. “We’re researching crustal processes during the Hadean geological period right now. Exciting stuff.”
Because Jeon Wonwoo was an incredibly persuasive man (mostly because of his lethal attractiveness), you were immediately swayed by the idea. “Wait, that’s an incredible idea, Wonwoo.”
“That is the worst idea I’ve heard in my life,” Seungkwan blurted out. “If you make a documentary about the geology department, I will personally come to the screening of your film myself just to throw tomatoes at you.”
As much as you hated to admit it (or, rather, hated to admit it in the presence of Wonwoo), Seungkwan had a fair point. Presenting a documentary about crustal formations was probably categorized as a form of social suicide. You had no true interest in the topic to make it sound interesting, and the only selling point would be geology major Jeon Wonwoo and his face of the century. The lackluster content coupled with your indifference toward rocks was a disaster waiting to happen.
Maybe you could make geology sound interesting. You entertained the idea for a few seconds before recollecting the time when Wonwoo got four shots deep and started rattling off about the demand for lithium in China. Your freshman year self was almost charmed before those beguiling minutes stretched into long, torturous hours of Wonwoo breaking down geopolitics until you blacked out.
No, you could not make geology sound interesting.
“Thank you for that visual, Seungkwan,” you said. “Now that I’ve returned to my senses, I’ll accept ideas that aren’t about Xu Minghao or rocks.”
“What’s wrong with the geology department?” Wonwoo spoke up, his hand shooting up in the air to get the room’s attention.
Jeonghan snorted. “Dude, what’s she gonna film? Planet Earth?”
Wonwoo accepted his defeat wordlessly as his arm slowly retreated back to his side.
“Not that I don’t think you can come up with better ideas,” Vernon started carefully, “but why are you so against making a documentary about Minghao?”
“I’m not against it,” you clarified. “It’s simply out of the question. He doesn’t even have time to dance right now because of how busy he is with the café.”
“If that’s the issue, I can literally ask around to see who’s interested in working there,” Jeonghan said.
“Minghao’s going through a lot right now. I personally think it’s insensitive to push him to do something when he’s got so much on his plate.”
The men finally quieted down at your words, and you came to the realization that your girl friends would have probably been more useful for this sort of conversation. Maybe it was because the guys were all on good terms with Xu Minghao that they were pushing for you to ask him to work with you. It was the only conclusion you could come to with how insistent they were on you choosing Minghao.
Then, Jeonghan spoke up, “Didn’t you say you wanted to make an impact with your documentary? What if you could really help him out?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. Just think about it.”
Your forehead creased. He clearly did have something in mind and just wanted to complicate matters for you, but you held your tongue instead of pressing Jeonghan further.
Later that night, while you were laying in your bed with your laptop warm on your stomach, you could only think about Xu Minghao and his sad smile when he talked about quitting dance. He didn’t really want to quit, but there was just too much going on for him to juggle that along with the countless other balls being thrown at him.
But was it right for him to just quietly let go of his dream? A passion that he had chased his whole life?
If you were in his shoes and you had to give up your dream of film, you weren’t sure you could go down without a fight. Even when your parents were against film school, even when everyone around you questioned your abilities, you pushed yourself to take on every opportunity that came your way. Your situation had never been as dire as Minghao’s, but you could imagine how he must have felt for his dream to crumble in the palm of his hands. With the right amount of support, you believed he could mold that dream together again.
In the still hours of twilight, you opened up a Word document and started typing away like your life depended on it.
“You look like shit.” Kim Yooyeon’s eyes were wide when she watched you walk out of your room right when she was about to leave for her 8:00 a.m. lecture. She was in the middle of her bowl of cereal when you crossed her on your way to the couch. “Did you even sleep?”
Your hand flew up to gently prod at the tender skin under your eyes. “Do I really look that tired?”
You all but fell against the couch, sinking into the cushions like it was quicksand. Normally, you could pour yourself a cup of coffee and get through the day, but you had accumulated enough sleep debt over the past few weeks to reach your breaking point.
Your roommate snorted. “Remember when you stayed up for three days straight during finals week last year? You look exactly like how you did back then.”
Thanks to Jeonghan’s cryptic words, you ended up spending the entire night researching and planning ways for you to help Minghao—or, at least, what you thought would help Minghao. Your document spanned almost forty pages, and you weren’t even sure if you would be using any of it. Your intention was to share your proposals with Minghao in hopes that he would find at least one of them to possibly work out.
The problem was: you were seconds away from falling asleep on the spot and your eyes felt sore every time you blinked. There was no way you could make it to Minghao’s coffee shop and deliver your pitch in this state.
“I stayed up all night working on something for Minghao.”
Yooyeon’s spoon clattered against the bowl. “Xu Minghao?”
You gave her the same rundown you gave your friends yesterday—a much more vague one because you didn't want to get into the nitty gritty details of Minghao’s life, especially when Yooyeon probably didn’t even care. Plus, you were too tired to get into the specifics. By the time you were finishing up your story, your mouth was hardly moving in time with your brain and your eyelids were drooping. You weren't even sure if you were speaking coherent sentences.
Yooyeon had her bag slung over her shoulder and was asking you something. You couldn't quite tell what it was because you were hanging by a thread at that point, but you definitely heard Jeonghan’s name at some point—maybe. All you could muster was a noncommittal sound before you drifted into a slumber.
A flash of red behind your eyelids roused you from your dreamless sleep, but you didn’t have time to squint before the nuisance of a light source was instantly blocked. You opened your eyes to see Xu Minghao sitting by your feet, using his hand to block the ray of light that shone through the window and landed directly on your face.
Perhaps you overreacted, but you were sure anyone would scream at the sight.
“Sorry, did I scare you?” Minghao stood up, alarmed.
Clearly.
You scrambled to sit up while he awkwardly shifted to the middle of your living room.
“No, Minghao, I was just warming up my vocal cords,” you deadpanned. “I don’t think it’s weird at all that you’re inside my apartment while I’m asleep.”
“Oh.” Minghao went still for a second. You watched the puzzled look on his face morph into one of dread once he seemed to understand how odd the situation looked. “Oh.”
After a few more moments of gawking at you, he started again, “This looks pretty bad.”
“Yeah, just a little.”
“I swear it’s not as creepy as it looks. Jeonghan said you wanted to see me, and then your roommate let me in. She told me to just wake you up, but I felt bad after a while. That’s why I just let you sleep.”
That must have been what Yooyeon was asking you while you were half-conscious, and you probably stupidly agreed despite not catching anything she said. This wasn’t how you wanted to talk to him; you needed time to mentally prepare yourself to meet Minghao—preferably in an outdoor setting where you were appropriately dressed—but now he had caught you completely off-guard.
It looked like he had just gotten back from the gym with his flushed cheeks and the sleeveless top that showed off his toned arms. When he raised his arm, you could even catch a glimpse of the infinity tattoo inked across his shoulder blade.
“I can leave,” he suggested, unsure.
“No, stay,” you said. “It’s just that I was gonna go see you on my own. How long have you been waiting here for, anyway?”
“Maybe ten minutes? I tried calling your name, but you asked me to let you sleep a little longer.”
You flushed, mortified. On top of accidentally inviting Minghao over to wait for you to wake up, you were sleep-talking in front of him too? Any semblance of professionalism you had was crashing and burning before you.
“I think I was sleep-talking with my roommate, too. That’s probably why she thought I needed to see you now,” you explained with a sheepish smile tugging at your lips. “Sorry about that.”
Minghao laughed and took a seat once he realized you weren’t going to shoo him out of the apartment anymore—or perhaps now he felt less guilty about showing up unexpectedly.
“So we’re even, right? Your stalking is forgiven,” you said, “but not forgotten.”
His eyes went wide with mock surprise, feigning a gasp. “Stalking? I could sue you for defamation of character.”
“Then sue me,” you challenged. “I have an outfit that I’ve been dying to wear in a courtroom.” Minghao raised his eyebrows with mild interest before you reached for your laptop on the coffee table. “Anyway, I wanted to show you something that could probably make you rethink that defamation lawsuit.”
You then turned to face him and clasped your hands together out of sheer desperation. ���Please let me make you the star of my documentary.”
Minghao blinked at you for a few seconds before asking, “The documentary for your class? You want me in it?”
You nodded eagerly. “It’ll be all about you—your dancing, the café—everything that shows how hard you’ve worked for your dreams.”
“I don’t know, Y/N…” He looked slightly uneasy at the prospect. “I might not have the time for this. I already have shifts at the café every day.”
“I think I have a solution for that, too.”
“That’s great and all, but either way, I don’t even know how much longer we’re gonna be able to keep the café running.”
“But Minghao, listen, I have it all planned out.” You scooted closer until your knees were bumping against his, and you angled your laptop for him to see the screen. “There’s a scholarship offering twenty thousand dollars, and they’re asking for a video submission on what success means to you. It’s specifically for the arts—something you’re passionate about.”
“You mean…” He trailed off, eyes fixed on the screen.
“I say we kill two birds with one stone; I film the documentary for my final project while you use it to win that cash prize.”
Minghao looked from you, to the screen, and to you again. There was a suspension of fear across his face that was coupled with a sparkle of hope in his eyes. It looked as if stardust had scattered across his irises and lit them up.
“Twenty thousand dollars,” he started before mouthing the words again in disbelief. “That kind of money could save the café.”
“And pay for nationals,” you added. “I stayed up all night planning this out. If you trust me, I think we can actually make this work.”
“You really think so? But do you really think people would be interested in watching something that’s just about my life?”
“No doubt about it. That face sells,” you deadpanned, which caused the tips of his ears to go an endearing shade of red. “I wouldn’t have done all this work if I didn’t think we could pull it off.”
“This is all assuming I even get selected.”
“I’ll make sure you do. It’ll be my best work yet.”
After Minghao spent a considerable amount of time scanning your document over and over again (you were pretty sure the words were probably burned into his brain by now), the corner of his mouth quirked into a mischievous smile. “So, how good are you?”
“Good at what?”
“Filmmaking. I’ve never seen your work.”
You folded your arms across your chest. “I’ll have you know that I’ve had plenty of experience. I’m just using you for my big break.” You didn’t realize you had stiffened up until you let your body relax. “Do you want to see something I’ve filmed?”
“Can I?”
“Of course. I can’t have you agree to something before you know the standard of quality you’re getting,” you said with a prideful puff of your chest that deflated too quickly when you realized that you would have to show Minghao something so vulnerable. Maybe it wasn’t as big of a deal for him, but you shed your heart and soul into your craft; it was precious to you. You opened the video file and looked at him expectantly. “We don’t have to watch it.”
“No, I want to,” he said in a voice so earnest that you wanted to believe him. He focused on the file name at the top of the video player. “A Bite of Summer—what’s it about?”
“It’s pretty short. I’ll just play it for you.”
You hit play and moved the laptop onto Minghao’s lap instead, watching both the screen and his reaction to your videography. He was so zeroed in on the film that he hardly seemed to notice the way you kept glancing at him.
Summer was sweltering. Growing up, you always spent your summers surrounded by friends and family, whether it was going to the beach or going to the park. Living in the moment was simple back then; you weren’t confined to responsibilities and commitments that kept you from enjoying what life had to offer. In fact, some of your best summer memories were shared with Minghao. The two of you laughed without a care in the world as the warmth of the sun enveloped you.
Once you entered high school, however, summer felt so humid that it was suffocating. You were up to your neck in assignments, exam preparation, and part-time jobs. It became difficult to enjoy your youth when you had countless hours of work to do. Coincidentally, it was your first summer spent without Minghao; you weren’t sure if things would’ve been any different if you two were still friends back then, but maybe it would’ve simmered the ache in your chest.
Your short film, A Bite of Summer, was created amidst your summer blues. The film was about a girl named Rhea who meets her younger self at the beach she once used to frequent during the summer. It represented the relationship the older you had with your younger self; you were excited to grow and move forward as the seasons changed, but summer was always a bittersweet reminder that you had no time to grieve over your childhood. You didn't know what you lost until it was gone, but perhaps that made the memories even more precious.
You were still looking at Minghao, but you could hear your main character, Rhea, asking her younger self, “Are you ever scared of growing up?”
Minghao was watching intently, hanging onto every word. You weren’t sure why you felt so nervous about him watching. In your last year of middle school, you and Minghao began to have long conversations about how terrifying it was to grow up. He would open up about how much pressure he felt from balancing dancing and school, and you would tell him how you felt like you couldn’t breathe in the summer heat. Perhaps he had forgotten by now. Perhaps he wouldn’t connect your film back as being so personal to you.
You couldn’t tear your eyes away from his reaction during the scene where the younger Rhea reaches for the older Rhea’s hand, gripping tightly even as cold waves started to lap at their feet. Minghao watched quietly, dark eyebrows pulling together as he focused.
“I am,” the younger Rhea answered.
“You are?”
“It sounds exciting, but nothing scares me more.” You watched as Minghao’s lips parted, chestnut eyes glistening when she continued, “Maybe it doesn't feel that way because you don’t have to live through those hard times anymore, but I’m glad the good times stuck. That means this feeling will pass”—their hands dropped to their sides—“and yours will, too.”
And that was when a tear fell from Xu Minghao’s feathery lashes.
You’ve never witnessed anyone cry over the work you created. Sure, it tugged at your own heartstrings since it was so personal to you, but to watch someone else have such strong feelings over your film made tears well up in your eyes.
“Are… are you crying?” you stammered out, a tittering laugh following as Minghao used the pads of his thumbs to smear his tears off his cheeks. It was a pretty sight, like watching wet clay come undone before you.
“It was really good,” he mumbled, giving you the most adorable pout you had ever seen on an adult man before turning his head away to keep wiping at his tears. “I’m serious. Don’t laugh at me.”
“I’m just surprised. I’ve never seen someone react like that to my work.”
If you were just a little braver, you probably would’ve thanked him first before telling him that you were touched. You would’ve told him that no one had ever peeled back your layers without making it uncomfortable—sometimes even painful—but he handled you with so much delicacy. You would’ve told him that this film was about you, at your core, and perhaps he had already picked up on that, but you would’ve been brave enough to express yourself.
But you weren’t brave, so you just smiled at the lone tears that streaked Minghao’s face before he wiped them with his sleeve.
“Seriously, you’re incredible,” he said, still staring at the paused video on your laptop. The corner of his mouth lifted. “That was so short and it still made me cry.”
You couldn’t help the wide grin that stretched across your face. “You’re actually crying.”
“Well, yeah. Are you having fun watching me suffer?”
Was it borderline psychopathic that you were smiling while Minghao cried? Probably. On the other hand, you were simply glad you didn’t burst into tears alongside him. You nearly felt like you could’ve with the way he got so emotional about your work.
“A little,” you admitted. Surprisingly, that got a smile out of him. “I’m just happy you like it.”
“I do,” he said. A pause, then, “Why’s it called ‘A Bite of Summer,’ by the way?”
You scoffed. Actually, you had your reasons, but no one had ever asked you about that film specifically.
“I hate summer, that’s why,” you told him. “I can’t stand the heat.”
“Really?” His brows lifted. “I think summer’s pretty overrated, too.”
You cracked a grin. “No, you don’t. It’s your favorite season.”
“Hey, I can still acknowledge my favorite season’s overrated.”
He grinned and held the palm of his hand out to you. You were confused before Minghao gently grabbed your wrist and put your hand in his, interlocking your fingers and giving you a firm shake. Your hands were too clammy to be gripping Minghao’s calloused palms, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“Use me however you want, director,” he continued, and the sparkle in his eyes was something magnificent. “I’ll be your best star yet.”
“No lawsuit?” you asked.
Minghao laughed. “No lawsuit.”
You were sweating like you had just run a marathon. (You practically did; the distance from your apartment to Jeonghan’s location in the library was a mile and a half, and you were sprinting half the time.)
Since you needed some time to plan out your filming, you exchanged contact information with Minghao and told him that you would contact him when you were ready. Your nerves were buzzing with excitement now that you actually had a subject for your documentary. Conversations with your classmates would no longer make you feel like you were desperately hurrying to catch up with everybody else.
Your friends usually claimed the big table on the third floor. It was positioned at an optimal location next to the bathrooms and the elevator, so you were quite proud of your unassigned-assigned table. Junhui and Wonwoo were normally the ones who spent the most time in the library, whereas Seungkwan and Vernon usually only stopped by if they wanted to mess around.
“You bitch,” you spat, pointing an accusatory finger at Jeonghan, who was trying to frantically wave off clouds of smoke when he coughed in surprise. You collapsed into the chair next to him, catching your breath while Junhui and Wonwoo hardly batted an eye. “You should be prosecuted for vaping in the library, by the way.”
“I know, right?” Junhui frowned disapprovingly. “Take it outside, Jeonghan.”
“Addiction kills,” Wonwoo added, doleful.
“I was gonna ghost it!” Jeonghan cried in defense, lowering his voice toward the end once he realized they were, in fact, still inside the library. He turned back to face you. “Anyway, why am I a bitch again?”
“You invited Minghao into my apartment!”
“Okay, a lot of accusations here. What about a hi? A hello? A congrats-on-finding-your-vape-Jeonghan?”
You fixed him with a glare. “It’s one accusation that has already been confirmed, Jeonghan. Start talking.”
“Yooyeon told me that you needed to see Minghao. All I did was pass along the message,” he explained before a smirk grew on his face. “So what did you need to see him for?”
“Oh, right.” You cleared your throat. “I’ve decided on doing the Minghao documentary.”
Jeonghan’s lips parted in surprise, the corners of his lips twitching upward again. “Oh my god, you’re actually doing it! I mean, I had a feeling after Yooyeon called me, but…”
“Good choice,” Junhui said. “He’s an absurdly attractive man.”
“Phenomenal face for the cameras,” Wonwoo agreed, humming along.
“Okay, since when were you guys the Xu Minghao Fan Club?” You looked around the table and shook your head once you saw Junhui’s dreamy expression. “Never mind, don’t answer that. Point is, the Minghao documentary is in motion and I have a shit-ton to plan.” You turned to face Jeonghan. “You said you’d help out at the café, right? You’ll get paid, of course, but Minghao can’t keep taking shifts every day.”
“They’re still having money problems?” Jeonghan asked.
“Unfortunately, but he said that hiring part-timers is better for them financially.”
He hummed, nodding along to your words. “Well, I didn’t say I’d be helping at the café, but I’ll find you someone.”
“They’ll still have to be interviewed, of course. Oh, and they’ll have to be trained, and—”
“Don’t even worry,” Jeonghan assured. “I have the perfect person in mind. Actually, I think I can find you a few more, too.”
“I’m a little scared.”
“When have I ever let you down?” Before you could point out that there had actually been a few instances, Jeonghan seemed to realize the flaw in his question and added, “Rhetorical question. Anyway, just leave it to me.”
To an extent, you did trust him. Not only was Jeonghan involved in several clubs and organizations on campus, but he was also a freshman orientation leader for two years in a row. This was especially useful in the sense that he had connections to students you had never even seen in your life; when you used to have inquiries on subjects you wanted to film, you always asked Jeonghan for any references, and he almost always had a name in mind.
After a pause, your friend gave you a quizzical look. “Did you run all the way over here just to say that?”
“Uh…”
“You know you could’ve just texted me, right? Or called? Modern technology works wonders, Y/N.”
“Oh—right.”
Come to think of it, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d been so excited over something that you full-on sprinted to tell your friends. It begged the question of whether you would be this ecstatic if you weren’t filming a certain someone. The ice skating rink surely wouldn’t have gotten this reaction out of you.
You were fairly certain you knew the reason behind your lapse in judgement, and it was becoming clear that Xu Minghao was tangled right in the center of everything.
Filming started the following Monday.
You captured Minghao throughout his everyday life at first, which meant you had to follow him around all day to compile footage. Mentally, you weren’t very prepared for this. Following Minghao from campus, to the café, to his dance studio, and wherever else he decided to venture made you feel as if you were intruding. It was as if you were peaking into a world that you weren’t allowed into.
He wasn’t that great when it came to school as a kid, but now Minghao really tried to study hard, even if that meant dozing off in the middle of reading a page of his textbook. Just a few days ago, he invited you over for a movie, and you were really supposed to be editing your footage, but you caved within minutes of him asking. You remembered Minghao had always been a sucker for coming-of-age movies, but you were dumbfounded when he shed tears during Little Women. (What you wouldn’t dare tell him was how endearing you found him).
You toed the line as someone between a friend and a stranger; perhaps to Minghao you would be considered a friend, but you weren’t quite sure why you couldn’t see yourself fitting in that space again. Still, as you filmed him and shot his interviews, you were so intrigued by the new sides of him that kept coming up, as well as the parts you nearly forgot about. It felt strange to hear such sincere accounts of Minghao from the interviews with his instructors and peers, yet to be the one behind the camera that couldn’t hold onto him before.
Today, he was waiting for you at 11:30 a.m. sharp outside of the Arts building. It had been a little over a month since you and Minghao started working together, but you were more worried about the scholarship deadline than your own assignment’s deadline. Filming was going smoothly, but you still needed to get interviews from his friends and family. Editing the dance footage was going to take the entire night since you were in the studio for hours.
You were overwhelmed, to say the least.
Minghao was finished with classes for the day while you had an annoyingly long gap between your morning and evening classes. You were supposed to shoot some B-roll, but that completely slipped both of your minds as you were well into scarfing down the breakfast wraps you two had bought before sitting on a cold bench.
Dark, gray clouds moved like smoke across the sky. It was getting chillier, and you were suddenly reminded of when you’d wait for the school bus with Minghao in middle school. He was always carrying around hand warmers back then, offering you one without fail whenever you started to shiver. Sitting shoulder-to-shoulder without thinking too deeply about how close you were. Now, with the awkward gap between you two, you wished you could go back to those simpler times.
Maybe you were already considered friends. Maybe you were overthinking all of this.
You rarely analyzed your other friendships this thoroughly.
You would rather shrivel up and die than admit that you missed being the closest to Minghao, but whenever he said something particularly sweet or gave you that gentle smile where his eyes crinkled at the corners, you felt your heart soar just a little higher. Maybe—just maybe—if he pressed enough, he would get it out of you.
“I told my mentor I’m gonna keep practicing for nationals,” he said once he was waiting for you to finish the last few bites of your wrap, “and I told my mom about the scholarship. It took some time trying to convince her that it could actually work.”
“She was against it?”
“At first, yeah. I mean, I don’t blame her. We’re doing this on the off-chance I get selected—nothing’s guaranteed.” He gave you a crooked smile. “But, at the end of the day, it could save our café, so she’s touched that you’re trying.”
You took the last bite of your wrap instead of replying. Of course Minghao meant well, but you couldn’t help but feel your stomach pitted with anxiousness at the mention of how everything was riding on this film. It made you feel even worse because Minghao had more to lose than you did. Nationals and an assignment grade; it was almost ridiculous how high-stakes his situation was compared to yours.
“Jeonghan actually managed to find part-timers for the café,” he continued. “They’re coming by in the afternoon.”
“That’s good news, right? You sound surprised.”
“I am surprised. We hardly get people who wanna work there.”
“Seriously?”
“It’s not as convenient as an on-campus job, so most people aren’t willing to walk that far for a part-time job when they can easily find something closer.”
You didn’t mind the commute yourself, but you only visited the café occasionally; it would’ve been a different story if you were heading to work there every single day. You hoped whoever Jeonghan found was actually committed to their job.
Then, Minghao asked, “What’re you gonna be filming today?”
“I was thinking we can get some footage of you training the newbies,” you said. “Speaking of, now that you have more employees, does this mean you won’t have to work at the café as much?”
He grinned brightly. “My shifts are cut down to three days a week now. I’ll have plenty of time to focus on dance. We have other employees to train the new guys, too, so it’s not all on me.” Minghao then leaned in a little closer (making you laser-focused on stepping on every crunchy leaf at your feet to ignore how your brain was spinning) to say, “Jeonghan thinks there'll be a lot more girls coming to the café.”
“Because of the new baristas?”
He shrugged. “They’re good-looking guys.”
You thought back to the demographic of cafégoers when you first visited Café du Soleil. The majority were, in fact, teenage girls. You wouldn’t have been surprised if you discovered that Minghao’s face was the selling point, but to have multiple men like him working there? Not only were you worried that the coffee shop would turn into the Ouran Host Club, but you simply couldn’t picture even more people of the same visual caliber as Xu Minghao.
Before you could reply, Minghao noted your pause and asked, “What’re you thinking about?”
“I’m just curious.”
“Curious about what?”
When you looked at him, his gaze frantically scattered about before he returned to looking down at his wadded-up wrapper. You wouldn’t have found it weird if you caught him looking at you, but the fact that he looked away so quickly made you feel conscious of how warm you were getting under your jacket.
“Just wondering if they’re really all that. I find it hard to believe that whoever Jeonghan called is gonna bring in more of a crowd than you already do.”
Minghao looked baffled before he chuckled. “I don’t bring in a crowd.”
“There were so many girls when I visited yesterday! Didn’t you notice them giggling after you left their table?”
“They were probably just giggling over whatever teenage girls giggle over.”
Minghao was oblivious by nature. He was also a man, therefore he was stupid.
Coupled together, it was a disastrous combination that resulted in wildly attractive Xu Minghao being utterly useless when it came to recognizing that he was blessed with a first-rate genetic sequence.
“Hao,” you started slowly, “teenage girls giggle over guys.”
“Oh.” He frowned, and you held yourself back from rolling your eyes as you witnessed him take actual offense to what was supposed to be a compliment. You figured he had deeply misunderstood what you were getting at.
“Cute guys,” you corrected.
“Oh.”
You straightened up and stared back at him, bewildered. “You don’t even know, do you?”
“Know what?”
“Your—” Unable to articulate what you were trying to say (partly because it was far too embarrassing to outrightly call Minghao attractive), you made a dramatic gesture to refer to his face. “That!”
To your horror, he turned incredibly smug. “What, my face? What about it?”
“Uh…”
“Are you trying to say I look good, Y/N?”
This just in: Xu Minghao was a sick and twisted man.
In this very exact, very precise moment, you felt the most vulnerable you had ever been in front of the dancer, and he was using the very opportunity to humiliate you even further.
“I’m speaking objectively,” you said.
“You’re objectively saying I look good.”
“Yes.”
“What about subjectively?”
“Can we circle back to the café instead?” you offered, buffering as if you had to muster up the strength to push the words out through your teeth. “I’d much rather talk about the café.”
“Really? I was having more fun talking about how objectively and subjectively good I look.”
A groan fell from your lips. “You objectively and subjectively need to shut up.”
Minghao laughed at your reaction before standing up and reaching into his pockets. “C’mon, let’s get going before it gets late,” he said and pulled out a hand warmer from his coat, holding it out to you. “Here.”
You took it from him. “What’s this for?”
“You’ve been shivering this whole time.”
While Minghao chatted your ear off on the way to Café du Soleil, all you could think about was how he surprisingly paid attention to the little details about you that most people would miss. You were formulating a rough theory in your head: Xu Minghao had to be some sort of otherworldly being because there was no other explanation for how perfect he was.
Yoon Jeonghan was going to the deepest circle of Hell.
As soon as you saw Choi Seungcheol in an apron, you knew your insufferable friend had an agenda of his own when he was scouting out potential baristas. To Jeonghan’s credit, the other two baristas he found seemed like they had been objectively scouted (no offense to Seungcheol, but you were 99% sure Jeonghan just wanted a chance to see the man as frequently as possible).
“That’s Chan.” Jeonghan jerked his chin in the direction of the younger guy who was fumbling with the cash register, and then you followed his gaze over to the barista who was fixing an acrylic pin of Elphaba from Wicked to his apron. “And that one’s Seokmin.”
Apparently, Jeonghan met Lee Seokmin through a hiking club. More specifically, Jeonghan met Seokmin at a hiking club party while they were trying to puke their guts out in the same bush.
Lee Chan, on the other hand, was a family friend’s son that Jeonghan adored. You recalled him bringing Chan to a college party once and never again; the high school senior was later given twenty bucks to keep his mouth shut about Jeonghan hitting his vape.
After his eyes lingered on his eye candy (read: Seungcheol) for a ridiculously long amount of time, Jeonghan finally noticed the reproachful look you were giving him. “What?”
“I know damn well you just wanted to get Seungcheol in an apron.”
“No,” Jeonghan sneered, as if he was disgusted by your accusation. “I was trying to see him with his sleeves rolled up. There’s a difference.”
“Whatever, dude. They both boil down to you being a whore.”
“Hey, I mention a hiring notice to the man I want,” Jeonghan started with an air of confidence, leaning back in his seat to take a sip of his latte, “and you turn yours into the star of your film. We’re basically birds of a feather here.”
You nearly choked over your own drink (the mango fruit tea—again), and you were suddenly grateful that Minghao was currently training the newbies behind the counter despite feeling jealous earlier about them getting most of his attention. It was a relief that you two were alone at a table and out of earshot. Jeonghan needed to stay far, far away from Minghao; he was clearly not to be trusted to run his mouth around the dancer.
You gave him an incredulous look, ignoring the burst of heat that exploded within your chest. “First of all, lower your voice before someone hears you and actually takes you seriously. Second of all, what?”
“What’s wrong with me wanting Seung—”
“I’m talking about the other part!”
“I said what I said—and if you think about it, you’re crazier than I am.”
“Excuse me?” Your whisper might as well have been a shout. You quieted down again before speaking, “I’m not crazy, and I don’t want Hao.”
“Yeah, okay,” Jeonghan replied, unconvinced, “So you’re telling me that you didn’t feel any sort of way after he gave you a piggyback ride home from the club last week?”
It would be impossible to forget, even if you were blasted out of your mind. After much persuasion from Seungkwan and Jeonghan, you were convinced to invite Minghao last-minute to your night out. You were already several drinks in when he finally showed up at the club, so your first instinct was to throw yourself into his arms. Not your finest moment. But he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer by the waist, so you couldn’t help but let yourself get carried away.
Several shots later, you found it impossible to walk with how your balance was completely off. Minghao, being the knight in shining armor he was, opted to carry you home on his back while holding onto your heels.
You settled for saying, “He was just being nice.”
“That wasn’t my question, and I don’t think he was just trying to be nice.”
“Is it so hard for you to believe that he’s just a genuinely good guy?”
“Well, he is, but it’s not like you guys just film your little documentary and move on with your lives after,” Jeonghan said. “He hangs out with you, texts you every day, finds literally any excuse to invite you over, and you guys even bought matching pajamas!”
“They were on sale!”
“Lots of things were on sale, Y/N; it was literally Black Friday.”
“It was Cyber Monday,” you corrected in a grumble.
“You specifically chose the pajamas to wear with him.”
“We’re friends,” you insisted, although it sounded like you were more so trying to convince yourself than Jeonghan. You would be lying if you said you didn’t feel the undercurrent of your emotions tugging at your ankles, but that was not a revelation you were meant to have at Café du Soleil with Minghao in your vicinity. “We’re just doing what friends do.”
Jeonghan slurped his drink in a ridiculously loud manner. You shot him a disapproving look.
“You know what I think?”
You were certain that you didn’t want to hear what Jeonghan thought, but nevertheless, you entertained his attempts to provoke you. “What now?” you snapped.
“I think you’re still hurt by how you two drifted apart—you and Hao,” he said, “and you’re probably thinking it’s gonna happen again. That’s why you’re too scared to admit he’s being a little more than nice to you.”
Bullseye. Jeonghan had watertight intuition when it came to the people he was close with, and you were no exception. His words were so on the mark that you felt vulnerable and exposed, like your skin was suddenly clinging too tight around your bones.
The thing was, you still couldn’t exactly remember how you and Minghao grew distant. You recalled the throng of memories of when you two were friends, but everything leading up to your falling out was hazy. Could you even call it a falling-out if there weren’t necessarily any hard feelings? He certainly hadn’t done anything that made you want to block him out of your memory (it was Xu Minghao, for God’s sake), but you couldn’t imagine why you would be so hurt over growing apart from an old friend.
“You really chose the worst possible time and place for this conversation,” was all you could mutter in response.
“We have air conditioning and cheesecake. What could possibly be better than this?”
Whether Jeonghan was selective about what he chose to be perceptive about or simply didn’t understand the gravity of this situation, you couldn’t tell; you just gave him a dumbfounded stare. “Anywhere else! Anywhere else would’ve been better!”
“You’re so picky.”
“And you can’t read the room.”
“You know what I can read,” he started with a cheeky grin while his eyes focused on something—or someone—else behind you, “Xu Minghao’s name tag.”
“Oh, do you like it? I drew Seungkwan’s dog and Vernon’s cat next to my name,” came a breezy voice from behind you, making your heart plummet to your stomach.
How long had he even been standing there? You thought you could just ignore Minghao, but you found yourself turning around to see his two pets he doodled on his nametag. Unfortunately, they were cute, but you were still too mortified to give him a proper reaction.
“How—how long have you been there for?” you stammered. “Did you hear what we were talking about?”
Minghao raised a brow. “Not long. Why? Is it something I’m not supposed to hear?”
You balked before answering, “No,” but the inflection in your tone made you sound as if you were questioning yourself.
(Jeonghan made direct eye contact with you and mouthed the word pussy. You made a mental note to deal with him later in a potentially homicidal manner.)
“By the way, Jeonghan, the guys you brought in are doing great,” Minghao went on to praise. “I don’t think we even need to train them for that long. Seokmin’s a natural at this.”
Jeonghan let out a wistful sigh. “I knew I recognized his potential.”
“Didn’t you guys meet at a party? How’d he manage to show barista potential?” you asked.
“I was thirsty and he brought me water.”
Nice. That was one way to prove himself, you supposed.
Then, Minghao turned his attention to you. “Were you gonna get some more shots today? Chan says he won’t make a run for it if he sees the camera this time.”
Earlier, you were trying to film Minghao showing Chan the proper technique of steaming milk, which Chan hardly was able to pay attention to because he was too busy gawking at the camera. As soon as Minghao was done talking, the high schooler hurried into the break room.
“I think I got everything I needed,” you answered, tilting your head up to see him smiling fondly down at you. The look in his eyes made you feel like something syrupy was trickling down your throat, as if you were drowning in his endearment. “Why’d you call Jeonghan over here, anyway? He’s pissing me off.”
As expected, your words got a rise out of Jeonghan. “All I did was sit here!”
“And you opened your mouth. That’s basically a misdemeanor.”
“Jeonghan, quit bothering her,” Minghao scolded. (“What? What the hell? What did I do?” Jeonghan went on to complain. “This is going in my Yelp review, by the way—one star for betrayal and terrible customer service.”) He looked back at you with a softened gaze as Jeonghan’s maundering turned into background noise. “You’re not leaving yet, are you?”
You were about to head out, but your legs suddenly didn’t feel like moving once Minghao looked at you with those warm eyes of his that made your insides feel like they had been doused in kerosene and lit aflame.
Jeonghan, who was hell-bent on his mission to push you and Minghao closer as much as you resisted, appeared to take your hesitation as an opportunity.
“We’re going back to my apartment to smoke,” your friend declared. Although that had never been the plan, you kept your mouth shut to see where Jeonghan was going with this. “You coming, Hao?”
Minghao snuck a glance at you. “Tonight? I don’t know. I might be free.”
“Holy shit,” Jeonghan gushed before Minghao’s words could even properly register in your ears, leaning over the table to put his hand on top of yours. “I should invite Soonyoung. Remember? The guy from our orientation group that you thought was cute?”
Of course you remembered Kwon Soonyoung. How could anyone forget a face like that? But you wanted to reach over the table and strangle Jeonghan for bringing him up in the worst possible context and potentially screwing up your non-existent love life for good. As you fought down your murderous tendencies and glanced nervously between the boys, however, you noticed a muscle in Minghao’s jaw twitch.
You started, “Soonyoung? I mean, sure, but—”
“Actually, I’ll be there,” Minghao cut in, his face void of emotion. “What time?”
Jeonghan simpered, quite pleased with himself. “Eight?”
“Sounds good.”
Without another word, the barista walked off, leaving you in stunned silence. Did you just witness Xu Minghao get jealous? There was no way for you to spin this as anything else; it was pure, unadulterated envy that bled out of him.
As your face grew increasingly hot, you spoke in a frantic, hushed voice, “He cut me off. He cut me off! Have you ever seen Hao that mad? I’ve never seen him that mad.”
But Jeonghan didn’t seem the least bit worried at all. In fact, he looked far too smug. “He’s really mad, isn’t he?”
“What’d you say all that for? I don’t think I can handle Hao and Soonyoung in the same room after this. I haven’t even brought up Soonyoung since last year, you douchebag!”
“Relax,” Jeonghan replied coolly. “I’m not inviting Soonyoung. I just said that to fuck with Hao.” A Cheshire-like grin spread across his face, and he pulled out his phone to start tapping away in front of you. “I’ve never seen him that jealous before. Maybe you should wear something nice and lace—”
“Shut up,” you interrupted with a scowl. “There were never any plans to begin with, were there?”
“Yes, there were—now,” he said, causing you to groan at the end. “I just told the group chat about it. You can thank me later.”
“I am not thanking you for the amount of torment you just put me through,” you said, hesitated, then stiffly added, “but thank you.”
“See? I’m always looking out for you.” He gave you a sincere look. “Now do me a solid and please get Seungcheol to show up.”
“I knew there was a catch.”
yoon jeonghan: smoke sesh at my place @ 9 yoon jeonghan: be there or our friendship’s over
boo seungkwan: i have no weed boo seungkwan: lost my vape too
you: real hustlers would never make excuses
wen junhui: she’s right
vernon chwe: i have your vape seungkwan
boo seungkwan: wtf give it back boo seungkwan: wait my vape with vernon’s saliva 🤤
vernon chwe questioned “wait my vape with vernon’s saliva 🤤”
you: alright chill
boo seungkwan: if i close my eyes i can almost taste him
vernon chwe: um. vernon chwe: i'd like to give it back because it’s yours but idk if i should anymore
jeon wonwoo: Why are we having a smoke sesh on a random ass day jeon wonwoo: I have a midterm tomorrow
boo seungkwan: leave tomorrow’s problems for a Tomorrow You
jeon wonwoo: True jeon wonwoo: Ok see u guys there
yoon jeonghan: i’ll provide the smoke sesh essentials
wen junhui: i have 11 edibles wen junhui: each person gets 1 and fight to the death over the rest
boo seungkwan: pog
you: thanks for that
jeon wonwoo: Amazing
vernon chwe: incredible
You were blasted out of your mind.
True to his word, Jeonghan didn’t invite Soonyoung to his gathering; and true to your word, you roped Minghao into bringing Seungcheol along.
You were initially worried that things would be awkward between you and Minghao, but he seemed to be in a significantly better mood by the time you got to talk to him. He didn’t even know that this whole night had been Jeonghan’s maniacal plot to set you guys up, so Minghao was completely oblivious when Seungkwan ushered him to sit next to you on the couch.
The night started off with Junhui passing out his edibles and auctioning off his last three to whoever did the best animal impression (one went to Minghao, one went to Jeonghan, and one went to Vernon). You were content with your one edible because you never had that strong of a weed tolerance, and halfway into watching Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle, you felt your eyes starting to grow heavy.
There were two types of people when high, though: one was you, who could probably be considered motionless and inanimate; and the other was someone like Seungkwan, whose not-so-wise ideas seemed to increase tenfold.
And, of course, since Harold and Kumar wanted to go to White Castle, Seungkwan and Vernon wanted to go on an adventure, too.
After much planning (which you weren’t part of because your body felt as if it was sinking into the couch cushions), your friends mobilized their efforts to come up with a scheme to bring back food from three different restaurants at once. They split themselves up into teams; Jeonghan and Seungcheol were going to Taco Bell, Seungkwan and Vernon were going to Panera Bread, and Junhui and Wonwoo were going to Chipotle.
If you were sober, you probably would have reminded them that UberEats still existed—or that they should probably look up the closing hours.
Naturally, you and Minghao were left in Jeonghan’s apartment. You didn’t mind because they promised to bring back food, but Jeonghan had definitely orchestrated getting you alone with Minghao. This meant you were probably expected to make a move or do whatever else was deemed entertaining in their eyes.
“Why didn't you go with them?” you asked Minghao. Everything seemed much more amusing to you all of a sudden, like the tuft of his hair that just wouldn't stay down.
“I’d rather stay here.” He shrugged and nudged your arm with his elbow. “Why? Do you want me to go?” he teased.
You reached over and patted down the strands of hair that kept sticking up. “No, stay. I need a witness if Jun’s edibles kill me.”
He laughed. “You’re not gonna die.”
“I am.” You placed a hand against your chest, right where your heartbeat thundered at lightning speed. “Please don’t be mad at me if I flatline.”
“No, you’re fine,” he said, taking your hand and placing it over his heart. His heartbeat was fast but probably not as fast as yours. “See? They’re the same.”
You thought Xu Minghao should’ve done the right thing for your heart and not look so devastatingly good all the time, but he always managed to catch you off-guard with that sickeningly sweet smile of his. He also should’ve been making an effort to not touch you so casually when your heart was already running at a million miles per hour. It wasn’t very fair that you were cursed to control your emotions every time you saw him from a decidedly good angle (which was almost every angle). You needed to bury whatever you were feeling before he entered a dangerous territory of your heart.
On second thought, you weren’t sure you could keep him out.
“No, they’re not,” you said. “I think it’s because of the weed and the fact that you’re very close.”
You swore you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips, but Minghao expertly concealed it by raising a brow at you instead. “Oh? You’re blaming it on me now?”
“Blame is a strong word.”
Even he couldn’t stop the shit-eating grin from appearing on his face as he leaned in closer. “Then why am I such a problem for your heart, Y/N?”
“I don’t know,” you muttered. “You just are.”
“Does it have anything to do with me being objectively good-looking?”
You groaned. “You won’t let that one go, will you?”
“Unfortunately for you, I think I like where this is going.”
Something very dangerous was brewing in your chest.
You weren't sure if it was the weed that was making you bolder, but the haze was surely letting down your inhibitions. Instead of feeling like you were sinking deeper into the couch, you felt like you were gravitating closer to Minghao.
“Will you ever give me an answer?” he asked, and your breath caught in your throat when he delicately held your chin with two fingers, turning your head to look at him.
“No, I don’t think so.”
He pouted, and then you mocked his pout in return.
And just when you thought he was done messing with you, Xu Minghao dipped his head to seal his lips over yours, kissing your pout away.
Alarmed, you pulled back immediately, your eyes wide and unblinking as you stared at him in shock. He didn’t seem all that fazed himself, but he pressed his lips together tightly and withdrew his hand slowly. It was a short-lived kiss, but you were so close to getting hooked and losing all semblance of self-control.
“Sorry,” he apologized quickly.
“W-why are you sorry?” you stuttered, pitchy.
“I should’ve asked first.”
“Yes.”
“What?”
You shook your head to clear the mess of tangled thoughts. This was the worst possible conversation to be having while you were both high out of your minds, but you were also feeling a lot more courageous now that you knew that Minghao actually wanted to kiss you.
You wanted to kiss him, too. Now that you had a taste, you couldn’t resist thinking about how his lips would feel against yours again, how he would touch you again with such tenderness.
“Sorry, I thought you were asking,” you said.
“Asking what?”
“To kiss me.”
“Oh.” Minghao went silent for an entire minute. (You counted the seconds.) You watched as he stared blankly into space before the weight of your words seemed to finally register. “Oh.”
Your face felt hot. “Don’t just oh me.”
Minghao chuckled in response. He shifted so that he was turned toward you, one of his hands finding purchase on the back of your neck and the other on your knee. You nearly forgot how to breathe as you were so focused on how his touch burned your skin.
“No, I was just thinking about how cute you are,” he clarified.
“Huh?” You were pretty sure your voice was an octave higher, judging by how Minghao now looked even more amused by you. “Cute?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” His hand started to inch up from your knee, torturously moving up and down. You swallowed thickly. “I think you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”
You choked out a laugh. “Are you kidding?”
“I’m dead serious,” he insisted, and you could tell he was by the way his eyes darkened and his hand slid higher up your thigh. “You know I’m not a liar, Y/N.”
When you didn’t respond, he lowered his voice and continued, “You know, a big part of dancing is about the finer details.” Minghao’s hand dragged across your skin so slowly that you couldn’t hold in your trembling breath full of want. “I always make sure to pay extra attention, so I think you can trust me when I tell you you’re pretty.”
For a moment, you were floundering for words. You were already feeling dizzy by his mere touch, and then he went on to say something that made you feel even more feverish. Xu Minghao truly was a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
“Here,” he said, “let me just show you.”
He moved the hand on your thigh to grip your chin again, pressing a few tentative, experimental kisses to your lips before finally capturing them in a longer, desperate manner. Your heartbeat was hardly a rhythm anymore, just a steady line of white noise that rushed loudly in your ears. Kissing Minghao was addicting, and as you moved your arms to wrap around his neck, you found yourself losing the last shred of control that was keeping you from him.
By the time Minghao made the daring decision to slide his hand up your shirt, you two had been kissing each other senselessly. Your legs were haphazardly strewn across his lap while he bent you down to kiss you at a better angle.
Part of you was worried that this was moving too fast; the other half was begging you to speed up.
You couldn’t make sense of anything when his tongue slid against yours so languidly, sending delightful shivers up your spine. One of your hands moved up to entangle your fingers in his roots, tugging just enough to have him groaning into the kiss.
Just when you were certain things were going to escalate further—and god, did you want them to escalate—a loud knock at the door had you and Minghao pulling apart like two magnets with opposite poles.
“I don’t have a key!” Junhui’s muffled yell was heard through the door.
You and Minghao exchanged a look before he stood up to get the door. You ran a hand through your hair to look presentable again, even though your half-lidded eyes were a dead giveaway that you were floating elsewhere, high up in the clouds.
With his taste still on your lips, the tangle of an unspoken truth wound itself tighter around your throat.
You used The Kiss™ as an excuse for some space. The excuse you gave Minghao, however, was that you “needed a week for editing.”
This was a (white) lie for two reasons:
Minghao wasn't going to interfere with your editing process to the extent of needing to completely push him away.
You definitely did not need a full week for editing.
The cherry on top of your excellent decision-making was that it only took you a little over a day to start missing Minghao again.
The worst part of it all was that being the sweetest man to grace this planet, Minghao understood you right away and stopped texting you immediately. And, of course, you started to overthink his silence, as if you weren’t the one who needed time.
After you and Minghao had been rudely interrupted by Junhui and Wonwoo, the two of you carried on like nothing happened. Apparently, Jeonghan had been very strategic about where he made everyone go to pick up food: Chipotle was close by, and he claimed it was important that you and Minghao didn’t spend too much time alone in case things got awkward; and the other two were mostly for Jeonghan’s convenience (Panera Bread because he wanted a charged lemonade, and Taco Bell because it was the farthest away and gave him more time to be alone with Seungcheol). There were good intentions, yes, but you were bitter because the only part of Jeonghan’s plan that was supposed to benefit you was the part that ended up cockblocking you.
The guys made it impossible for you to get some alone time with Minghao for the rest of the night. You couldn’t even see him the next day because you ended up sleeping in so late that Minghao was gone by the time you woke up.
Going back to your apartment the next morning felt like The Walk of Shame.
Now, you were sprawled across the couch in your living room, laptop warm on your stomach as you sifted through your camera footage. Yooyeon was sitting on the carpet and doing her nails at the coffee table. Earlier in the morning, when you gave her the rundown of the events from last night, The Kiss™ had her jumping on the couch for so long that you ended up banishing her to the floor.
“After everything you just told me,” Yooyeon said, “I think you should just tell him how you feel. Don’t mince your balls. Just get right to the point.”
“Mince my balls? I don’t think that’s an expression.” You paused for what felt like forever until the appropriate idiom dawned on you. “It’s mince your words, dumbass, not mince your balls.”
“Mince your words, mince your balls—same thing.”
“It’s really not.”
“Okay, but you two have had this weird back-and-forth for, like, a month now,” she said. “It’s not like he’s gonna say no to a date.”
“But what if he does say no?”
Yooyeon rolled her eyes. “You guys literally kissed. Pretty sure that’s a free pass to ask him out.”
You thought back to Jeonghan’s words, how he suggested that you were still hurt by you and Minghao drifting apart in middle school and that you subconsciously thought it could happen again. It was uncharacteristic for you to hold a grudge this long, though, but you really couldn’t remember what was the turning point that made you feel like you had to walk on eggshells around him.
After putting your headphones over your ears, you clicked on the next video file to decide whether you were saving it for the film or not. The thumbnail that popped up was Minghao’s arm around your shoulders while you were trying to record the both of you sharing takoyaki outside. It was one of the videos that you took for fun in the middle of your shoot, but the sight made your heart flutter in your chest.
“I’ll feed you,” Minghao in the video said, a wide grin on his face as he stabbed a toothpick into a takoyaki ball and inched it closer to your lips. “Careful, it’s hot.”
Your face twisted as soon as the searing hot takoyaki hit your tongue. You remembered how you were about to drop your camera and spit the takoyaki out, but in order to not embarrass yourself in front of Minghao and everyone else around you, it was crucial that you kept your composure.
“I said it was hot!” Minghao exclaimed when you shot him an icy glare.
As you attempted to eat the takoyaki without burning your tongue, some of the batter dribbled down your chin. You let out a muffled yelp when it scalded your skin, pointing frantically at the mess you were making. It looked like your lips were trying to frame the word tissue, but you immediately covered your mouthful of takoyaki with your hand.
Minghao laughed at you, a dimple carving into the corner of his lip. “Stay still. Let me get it for you.”
The video cut right while Minghao was wiping your chin with a spare napkin. You remembered how gentle his hold was on your face, as if you were fine china. The fond smile fixed on his face wasn’t doing your heart any favors. You glanced over at Yooyeon to make sure she was too preoccupied with her nails to catch the growing smile that kept creeping onto your lips.
When you opened the next video file, the thumbnail wasn’t a frame you recognized. Minghao was in his dance studio, facing the camera at the full-length mirror to capture his entire body. You remembered the exact day he must have filmed this because he let you attempt to braid his hair on the bus ride home.
“Hey, Y/N, I’m recording this without your permission,” he started, a mischievous grin playing on his face. “Since you’re out getting snacks, I’ve decided to vlog the choreo I just came up with.”
This time, you realized too late that your face had broken into a smile so affectionate that Cupid may as well have sent an arrow right through your chest. You were seven minutes into watching Minghao trying to master his self-made choreography when it finally hit you that you had spent the entire month with Minghao—laughing, hanging out, watching movies, going on long drives, studying at his café, and getting to know him all over again. All of that was under the pretext of filming your documentary, but now that you were realizing there was no excuse for you to be around him anymore, a strange feeling of apprehension consumed you.
You could say that you and Minghao were friends now, but your life had become so intertwined with his that you weren’t sure how you would feel when things went back to normal.
Your attention snapped back to your laptop screen when Minghao stopped dancing to speak to the camera again.
“I know you’re probably procrastinating on editing this, so you owe me five dollars if you haven’t watched this by the 19th,” he said. You checked the clock to confirm that it was, indeed, past said date and well into the week after. Just as you were about to make a note to send Minghao the money, he lowered his voice and continued, “But, since you watched till the end, I’ll tell you a secret. You can’t tell anyone, though, especially not Jeonghan!”
You noticed his face was flushed a faint shade of pink when he confessed, “Now I’m only telling you this because it’s been bothering me for weeks. You never brought it up, but… I intentionally didn’t warm up your injeolmi toast that day because I wanted you to bring it back so that we could, um… talk, I guess. I still can’t believe you ate the whole thing without realizing.”
Your heart stuttered—tripped, fell over, got up again, repeated the process—and, oh, you were a discombobulated mess on the inside.
Minghao chuckled to himself and started going off on a tangent about the injeolmi toast, but you were unable to move on from what he had said. (“You know it’s supposed to be warmed up, right? I figured you just didn’t know because you’ve never had it… maybe I should’ve given you the wrong drink instead.”)
The answer was jammed in your throat like a pill you couldn’t swallow: you liked Xu Minghao.
And, strangely enough, the feeling wasn’t unfamiliar.
You remembered exactly what it was like to long for the sun. You’d fallen in love with all of Minghao long before. A rush of repressed feelings from your middle school years bubbled to the surface, and perhaps they didn’t make any sense to you in the past, but it was all too clear now. What you felt for Minghao wasn’t anything new; your first love blossomed long ago, and you plucked out all the petals of your feelings before they could grow any further.
You just didn’t nip enough of them in the bud.
If you remembered correctly, you and Minghao started growing apart the day he got his first girlfriend. It wasn’t that you two had a proper argument or fell out, but you safeguarded yourself from the heartbreak by distancing yourself until you were out of each other’s lives. He must have been too caught up in his new relationship to realize it himself, but of course you couldn’t blame him when you were the one who pulled away first.
But things were different now. You were different now.
In the past, you made sure to swallow your feelings down, no matter how painful and thick they were lodged in your throat. Now, however, despite how hard you tried to suppress them, you felt as if you were glowing in the light of reciprocated love. It was maddening—agonizing even—but so wonderful.
“I think I like him, Yooyeon,” you blurted out, only looking in your roommate’s direction when you heard her knocking over her collection of press-on nails. The mess was hardly a concern to her right now, though. “Minghao, I mean.”
“Can I tell Jeonghan?”
You reached around your laptop to grab a throw pillow and whack her over the head with it. “I’m having the most insane revelation of my life and pouring my heart out to you here, and your first instinct is to tell Jeonghan?”
“Okay, damn, I’ll give it a few hours.” Yooyeon set her phone back down and turned around to face you again, her eyes lit up with excitement. “Now tell me everything. Like, everything. I need you to explain from start to finish.”
“That might take a while,” you warned.
She snorted and picked up her nail file. “I think I can make time in my very busy schedule.”
Your interrogation with Yooyeon didn’t take a few hours, as you expected it would; rather, your discussion cut into the late hours of the night, keeping you and your roommate up until dawn. Jeonghan joined over FaceTime at some point and screeched loud enough for you to worry about noise complaints (Wonwoo made a guest appearance, too), but you also learned that your friend group had seen this coming from the beginning. You weren’t sure how you felt being the only one out of the loop, but Jeonghan made sure to point out that you were just completely oblivious.
You didn’t exactly discuss your next steps, though. Yooyeon mentioned asking Minghao out on a date, but you weren’t sure how to do that without acknowledging The Kiss™ first. You had to bring it up somehow, but you kept putting it off to work on editing.
Thinking about Xu Minghao proved to be dangerous for your motivation. It had only been a week but you instinctively kept checking your phone to see if he texted you. (Spoiler: he didn’t.) It took all of your willpower, but you forced yourself to push him out of your head and focus on getting the documentary done.
Editing was torturous. You practically spent all day and night glued to your laptop, whether it was in the dining hall or in your bed. For something that was only supposed to be ten minutes long, there were hours of footage for you to get through, some of which ended up being unusable, much to your frustration.
Finally, though, after long days of tirelessly working, the finished project was in your hands.
Of course, Minghao was the very first person you told. You were so giddy that you called him immediately, your heart soaring when he picked up on the second ring. In under an hour, you found yourself running to Café du Soleil to show him the documentary.
Upon seeing Minghao’s bright face, before you could even get a hi out, he crushed you in his embrace. You breathed in the addicting scent of his cologne—gaiac wood and cedar. It was clear that neither of you wanted to pull away, but you took a step back first.
“Congratulations,” he praised, rubbing small circles on your upper arm with his thumb. “Do I get to watch it now?”
“If you have ten minutes to spare, we can watch it together,” you said, pulling out your laptop once you reached your usual table. “I wanted you to be the first person to see it.”
“I’m off my shift,” he replied, pulling up a chair right next to you, “so I’ve got time to kill.”
You handed him an AirPod to listen along with you. Sound was one of your favorite parts of creating a film—setting the atmosphere, building the tension, playing with senses and emotions—so you really wished you could give Minghao the full experience, but since you were in a public setting, this would have to do.
The documentary opened with Minghao at his dance studio, sweat glistening on his toned muscles as his body moved to the beat. The demanding choreography coupled with his exhaustion didn’t stop him from showcasing an almost flawless performance. There was a brief exchange with his mentor before the scene cut to an interview with Minghao explaining how his passion for dance started and how he had grown into competing in national-level tournaments.
You added a compilation of clips from Minghao’s previous performances, as well as accounts from his peers about how hardworking and motivated he was. His mentor gave a particularly heartwarming speech on how driven Minghao was as a dancer and how he put his all into everything he did. The part you were the proudest of had to be getting Jeonghan to give his two cents on being Minghao’s friend, and you were pleasantly surprised that he took it seriously and said something sweet.
“To me, success is about working hard despite my circumstances,” Minghao said. In his interview clip, he took on a more serious tone. “I don’t have to be the best dancer in the world as long as I’m doing what I’m passionate about. At some point, I think I lost myself for a while… but someone special pulled me out of that slump and pushed me to keep going. I can’t thank her enough, honestly.”
You knew it was coming because you put the clips together yourself, but your face still grew hot regardless. Minghao being right next to you wasn’t exactly helping your case or making you feel any less flustered. Perhaps most people watching your documentary wouldn’t realize who he was referring to, but you knew that he was talking about you.
The film then got into Minghao’s financial struggles with the café, showing segments of his mother talking about Café du Soleil and how much the place meant to her family. You then showed the new part-timers being trained (with extra screen time for Seungcheol, as per Jeonghan’s suggestion—or, well, persuasion), and Seokmin even gushed about how much he looked up to Minghao in his own interview.
The documentary ended with a few words from Minghao, switching back and forth between the dance studio and the café. The screen then faded to black with the bustling sounds of the café gradually fading out.
It was only when your screen was dark enough to see your reflection that you realized there were tears in both yours and Minghao’s eyes. You already watched it about five times yourself, but something was different about watching it alongside the person you worked with for over a month to bring your ideas to life.
And, apparently, you two weren’t the only ones tearing up.
Minghao flinched when he turned his head to see the part-timers sitting at the table behind them and peering at the laptop screen. “Fuck, you guys scared me.”
“Sorry,” Seokmin apologized, hastily wiping at a stray tear. “It was just so beautiful.”
Chan gave you a nod of approval. “The only thing it needed was more screen time from me.”
“You literally ran away every time you were on camera,” you said, swiveling around to look at the two baristas. “Were you two just sitting behind us this whole time?”
“Yes,” Seokmin confirmed. “We appreciated the subtitles.”
Truthfully, you were extremely satisfied with their reactions. Your short film, A Bite of Summer, bringing Minghao to tears was enough to rile you up for days, and now you had two other people who got emotional over a documentary you filmed and produced with your own two hands.
“You really outdid yourself,” Minghao murmured, and when you turned to him, he was looking at you as if no one else was in the café except you. He reached his hand out to brush a stray lock of hair behind your ear.
With a shy smile, you said, “It wouldn’t have come together without you.”
Through your periphery, you noticed Seokmin and Chan exchanging a look.
“Alright, they’re having a moment,” Seokmin announced, standing up and gesturing for Chan to follow him. “Let’s get back to work.”
Minghao, whose ears were a bright shade of red now, tried to awkwardly laugh off the embarrassment. There was a twinkle in his eyes when he looked back at you, and you burned up all over again once you remembered how his soft lips felt against yours. Unfortunately, one of the symptoms of having a crush on someone was that your mind often went blank and filled itself up with all things Xu Minghao instead, so you couldn’t exactly think straight right now.
“I’ve finished the application and essay for the scholarship,” he said, “so I guess all there’s left to do is submit.”
“I’m sure no one else had an incredibly talented film major directing and producing their video,” you joked.
“No, you’re right. If I don’t get the scholarship after this, I might take it personally.”
“Oh, please,” you muttered quietly, “you’re too nice.”
“I’m not that nice, Y/N.” To your surprise, Minghao’s eyes hardened. You had never seen such an expression on his face, and it made your stomach instantly sink to your feet, but he bounced right back to his cheery self soon after. “I’ll walk you home after we submit these?”
“Y-yeah.”
Minghao pulled his own laptop out of his bag while you copied the link to your video in Dropbox. You pasted the link into an email, but your finger hovered over the send button for far too long. Once it went through, you were officially done with this project; it no longer tied you to Minghao.
You sucked in a breath and sent him the link.
You could only stare at your Canvas submission page. The link to your documentary was already pasted in; all you had to do was hit submit, but you felt so anxious. Maybe you missed one of the guidelines, or maybe you needed to watch it again, but you knew deep down that you replayed it several times and it was as close to perfection as you wanted it to be.
“Hao, I’m scared. Let’s submit ours at the same time.”
He chuckled. “You don’t have anything to be scared of, but yeah, let’s do that.”
It took another thirty minutes for Minghao to prepare himself, though. He read over his application and essay again, handing it over to you afterward for a second look at it. When Seungcheol eventually entered the café for his shift, Minghao had him take a look at it, too.
Finally, you and Minghao were both ready with your submissions. You both had your cursors hovering over the submit button just before he slipped his free hand over yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“Ready?” he asked.
With the heat of a thousand suns burning your cheeks, you nodded eagerly.
You submitted your film.
It felt like a truckload of weight had been lifted off your shoulders, but the feeling of relief didn’t come without the slight unease. You looked over at Minghao, who had just submitted his and was being clapped on the back by Seungcheol, and you felt weird. You felt so incredibly proud of yourself, but another part of you couldn’t accept that it was over now.
“Hey,” Minghao said softly, grinning when your eyes met his. “We really did it.”
You sort of melted under his gaze, the corners of your mouth hitching up into a lovesick smile. “Yeah, we did.”
With that, his hand slipped out of yours to tell his mother about finishing the scholarship application, and you felt cold again.
Minghao offered to walk you home, but you could hardly hold a proper conversation with him; your head was a mess.
Maybe it was wrong for you to feel this way after your week of radio silence, but something about this felt so final. You were scared that once you reached your apartment, you would go back to the life you had before you reconnected with Minghao. As much as you told yourself that you were just overthinking, there was a nagging fear in the back of your head. Maybe it was from the high of submitting your project, but you felt a rush of adrenaline course through you.
You wanted to hold onto Minghao one more time and tell him how you felt.
It had been on your mind ever since you had your revelation yesterday, and sitting next to him in the café and pretending like you weren’t mad for him was nearly impossible. As you two trudged down the cobblestone street, your hands balled into the pockets of your coat, you realized that something along the lines of a confession was ready to burst through your lips. Minghao kept droning on about a holiday-exclusive drink that was coming to the café, but you couldn’t even listen to him properly without your brain screaming at you to tell him how you felt.
It was when he brought the conversation back to your documentary that you found the perfect opportunity to bring up the secret video he filmed.
“We must’ve filmed hours of content,” he was saying, throwing his head back and groaning at the mere thought. “I can’t believe you watched all of it—wait, did you watch all of it?”
“I did watch everything, Hao,” you said quietly.
“Hm? What was that?”
“I knew that the injeolmi toast was supposed to be heated up,” you blurted out. Minghao froze in his tracks and stared at you, wide-eyed, and normally this would’ve made you shy away immediately, but you wanted to be braver. You stopped walking too, and you raised your head to meet his eyes. “I thought you forgot to warm it up by accident, so I didn’t want to make you feel bad.”
At your sudden admission, Minghao was speechless, even more so when you continued in a breathless ramble, “And I want you to know that the only reason I chose this subject for my documentary was because of you; and I missed you all of last week because all I could think about was how you kissed me; and I really fucking hate summer, Hao, but you made me fall in love with the sun.”
“And… and I like you,” you confessed. “I liked you back in middle school, and I like you again now.”
Minghao’s jaw went slack as he searched your eyes, as if looking for a lie in your words, as if he could hardly believe that what you were telling him was real.
“Are you serious?” he asked quietly, almost scared that you would say no. He walked closer to you. “Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not!” Your courage threatened to falter, but you kept his gaze even as he reached out to hold your face with gentle hands. “I’ve never been this honest in my life.”
With a shuddering breath, he said, “You’re telling the truth.”
“Yeah, I—”
“Do you even know how long I’ve been waiting for this moment?” Although Minghao spoke in a murmur, your words died on your tongue the moment he started talking, especially after his eyes dropped to your lips.
You could only blink back at him in stunned silence.
“You were my first love, too,” he confessed.
His words struck you right in your chest. The winter bite no longer chilled you to the bone; if anything, a wildfire was ripping through your body. For a split second, you wondered if you were actually on fire, so you remained perfectly, unmovingly still until you realized that Minghao was waiting for you to answer.
You swallowed hard. “I was? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I guess I was scared it would ruin our friendship… but I didn’t do a very good job of salvaging it, anyway.” You could see the regret painted on his face, but then he steeled his nerves. “I don’t care if I don’t win the scholarship, Y/N—I mean, I sort of care—but no matter what happens, I’m happy just being with you.”
Your heart beamed.
Even days ago, the mention of your past with Minghao would’ve been a sore spot for you. Now, however, you didn’t want it to keep weighing you down like an anchor buried deep within the sand. Maybe you were both just stupid kids who didn’t know what to do with their feelings.
But all of that hardly mattered now that your souls found each other again. You weren’t ever someone who was big on the idea of destiny, but if there were stars out there that predetermined fate, they must have been shining for you and Minghao.
This time, you initiated. It was almost effortless how your arms found themselves circling around Minghao’s neck, drawing him closer to you. His eyes looked as if they were still in a dream, but after a few seconds, his gentle hands found your waist.
“I’m happy as long as I’m with you, too,” you said, your voice only loud enough for him to hear.
Minghao let out a breathless sort of laugh, almost like he was still in disbelief, and you smiled before pressing your lips to his. Compared to your first kiss, which was charged with lust and intoxication, this one was so loving and calm that you lost yourself in him so easily. He smiled into the kiss, and you couldn’t help yourself either once you felt his lips curve up against yours.
His hand found your chin, pulling away for a brief moment to take a good look at you. Let the high of your reciprocated feelings sink in. Your eyes flitted from Minghao’s lips to his twinkling eyes, your heart doing a series of backflips and spins when you saw his lips curl into a smirk.
“Yeah,” he said in a low voice, “I think I can get used to this.”
And when his lips found yours again, you were sure your souls touched, too.
(“So, are you gonna tell me if I’m objectively good-looking now?”
“Let it go, Hao.”)
EPILOGUE
Vernon scratched the back of his head. “I don’t know if I was tripping out, but I swear they just had us watch Kim Mingyu doing tricks on a skateboard for ten minutes straight.”
“I think that was an actual film.” Seungcheol looked through the pamphlet of student films that were being screened and read, “Kim Mingyu Does a Kickflip—yeah, that’s the one.”
“Whose bright idea was it to make us take Jun’s edibles?” Jeonghan, who was fitted in a formal suit and tie, complained as he slouched deeper in his seat. His eyes were a few shades too close to red to pass as sober, but he was at least able to function on his own. “This shit has to be laced with something.”
“This is your fault, dude,” Seungkwan replied, exasperated. He didn’t seem as faded as Jeonghan was, but he looked more like he had just woken up. “You told us this would be more fun if we got high!”
“Okay, and who listened to me?” He sat up to catch Seungkwan, Vernon, and Wonwoo’s guilty heads hanging shamefully. “Exactly.”
Yooyeon shot you a withering look. “They're stressing me out.”
It was the night of your film’s showcase. After you passed the class with flying colors, your professor recommended your documentary be screened during the showcase for all the film majors in your year. It was an annual event, but only a certain number of films were selected from the students. In short, this was big for you. You invited your friends, of course, although you were starting to regret it now that you had to put Seungcheol and Junhui in charge of babysitting them.
“Jeonghan, you really didn’t have to dress up like that,” you said once you noticed the contrast between his formal attire and Seungkwan’s sweater and jeans ensemble. “This isn’t even a formal event.”
Jeonghan leaned over Seungcheol to tell you, “This is important to me, okay?”
“Aw, Jeong—”
“I have to be the hottest one here.”
Alright, then.
“Jeonghan, remember what we’re actually here for,” Junhui prompted, motioning to the front of the theater.
You put a hand over your chest, touched. “Jun, you’re too sweet, I—”
“To see Minghao’s gorgeous face on the big screen,” he finished.
You decided you were going to let them finish their sentences from now on.
Minghao, who was sitting next to you and gripping your hand, raised your hands to press a kiss to each one of your knuckles. He saved his public displays of affection for rare occasions, such as your grand showcase.
You two had been dating for the past five months at this point. It wasn’t much of a surprise to any of your friends, but what did change was that Minghao spent a lot more time with your friend group now. (Sometimes you worried if they liked him more than you, but you weren’t one to vie for attention.) It was also safe to say that you two weren’t exactly out of the honeymoon phase yet. Your heart still fluttered whenever he did anything particularly sweet, and Minghao still went bright red whenever you were feeling a little bolder.
“I’m so proud of you,” he said, his voice tickling your skin. “You said your professor recommended submitting it to a film festival, right?”
“Mhm.” You grinned and used the hand he wasn’t holding to pinch his cheek lightly. “Your face could be seen by thousands.”
He laughed. “It’s really all about you, not—” Minghao paused when his phone buzzed from inside his pocket. You two exchanged a nervous look before he fumbled to pull it out. “I think it’s them.”
A week ago, the announcement of the scholarship recipient was supposed to be sent out. However, there was a complication that led to them postponing the results until today. You and Minghao had been on edge all week, but having to think about the outcome on the same day as your film showcase was nerve-wracking.
“It is them.” Minghao bit his lip when he saw the sender in his notifications. He looked over at you and squeezed your hand tighter. “I’m gonna open it now.”
With suspended breath, you tried to gauge his reaction as he opened the email. (It wasn’t very hard to read Xu Minghao’s expression when he wore his heart on his sleeve.) He took so long that you thought he was reading over each word twice, but then you watched as his expression morphed into one of pure astonishment.
“What is it?” you asked. “What does it say?”
“I…” He swallowed thickly. “I got it.” He turned to you again, mouth twitching into a grin. “I actually got it!”
Your life had been going so smoothly recently that the scholarship results had been plaguing your thoughts for the past few weeks. You didn’t have to worry about your project anymore, so saving the café and getting Minghao his chance to compete had been weighing heavily on your mind.
Now, though, upon hearing those words and seeing his eyes light up, you felt like you were glowing yourself. They selected Minghao, and they watched your film. Your work was going to save his mom’s café. It was going to let him keep chasing his dreams.
You let out a yelp so loud that dozens of heads turned in your direction, but you didn’t mind any of them as soon as you reached over your armrest to tackle Minghao into a hug. He wrapped his arms around you tightly and pressed a kiss to your temple.
“I knew they’d pick you,” you told him. “There’s no one else who deserves it more.”
“It’s seriously all because of you,” he said. When you pulled apart, Minghao looked absolutely winded from being so overjoyed. “I have to tell my mom as soon as we get home. She’s gonna be so happy that we get to keep the café running.”
Jeonghan, who was brazenly eavesdropping, patted Seungcheol firmly on the chest. “Hear that? You just got saved from unemployment.” He reached over Seungcheol (again) to dap up Minghao.
You felt someone tap your shoulder from behind, and you craned your neck around to see your professor gesturing for you to go up on stage. That was your cue to introduce your film, and you gulped down the bundle of nerves that rose up your throat.
Yooyeon squeezed your shoulder as you were getting up. Shakily, you straightened up, smiling weakly when your friends started cheering obnoxiously loud for you. Minghao caught your wrist before you walked to the front and gave you a reassuring squeeze that managed to calm your jittery hands.
You recognized a lot of your friends from your classes, so it wasn’t as scary as you thought it would be, but you were hopeful that the unfamiliar faces would be cheering for you by the time they saw your documentary.
“We know her!” Jeonghan and Seungkwan were screaming from the top, pointing you out to every stranger in their vicinity. “That’s our friend!”
At the right wing of the stage, you were handed a mic and instructed to walk out to the center. You had never been in front of a crowd this huge, but seeing your friends in the seats melted away whatever fears were holding you back.
“Thank you everyone for coming out today,” you spoke into the mic, smiling when it resounded throughout the grand auditorium. “My name’s Y/N, and I’m so excited to share my documentary: The Xu Minghao Dilemma.”
TAG LIST ▸ if you made it all the way here, thank you so much for reading!!! i hope you enjoyed xu minghao's dilemma 💗 first and foremost, this was written for @junyangis so shoutout my film major inspo. i tried to emulate the film student experience to the best of my ability so i hope it delivers 🙏 also you might notice the banner has jeonghan as the writer which sort of sounds misleading but it's because he was the one orchestrating everything between mc and minghao, so i thought it was fitting :') first fic of 2025, yay!! i hope to share more of my works with you this year & sending my love to everyone reading this right now ♡ thank you to everyone who asked to be part of the tag list as well !! 🫂
TAG LIST ▸ @jenoentry @wonudazed @aaniag @ily-cuz-i @fancypeacepersona @tokitosun @jeonnyread @reiofsuns2001 @markleeloveletter @dawn-iscozy @fennecnco @kookiedesi @nijisanjigenshin @xylatox @cookiearmy @nightshadeblooming @sillyuin @outrologist @flowerrpwrr @melonacco @sknyuz @enhasrii @skzdesi
#svt scenarios#seventeen scenarios#minghao fluff#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#seventeen#seventeen x reader#xu minghao#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#minghao imagines#minghao scenarios#svt soft hours#seventeen soft hours
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Ma Meilleure Ennemie (pt 1/?)
Silco was at his limit. The last few days had been a whirlwind, made worse by Jinx's eccentricities, which Sevika couldn't control. He was exhausted, his nerves on edge, so, as if it were the most obvious solution, one of his subordinates suggested that he relax… in a brothel. The idea was so offensive that Silco almost killed him right there. But in the end, there he was and unfortunately or fortunately you are the lucky one who will serve him.
Silco x fem!Reader Rating: Explicit (18+, MDNI) Word Count: 4,9K Warnings: smut, resolved sexual tension, oral sex (m!receiving), dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampie, discussion (a few lines), you work in the brothel, Silco POV (when to start smut because the male POV It just hits ✨different✨), an obsessive Silco in the end? Set before the events of Act 2 of the first season of Arcane.
I got into my obsessive phase with this man again thanks to the second season of Arcane and I had to turn a conversation with a janitor bot into a fanfic. This is my first time posting something here so I have no idea what I'm doing lol… English is not my first language, sorry if there are mistakes.
The room reeked of overly sweet flowers, a cloying mixture of perfumes that you never found pleasant but managed to endure. Dressed in a simple white satin gown, which men liked to dismissively call "easy access," you stood behind the curtain, taking deep breaths and trying to hide the trembling in your hands. This wasn’t your first time dealing with difficult clients at the brothel, but this time, it felt different.
Silco.
His name alone was enough to make your breath hitch, and not in a good way. The feared, self-proclaimed leader of Zaun was seated on the couch, his arms draped casually over the backrest while his eye—or rather, his good eye—surveyed the room with evident impatience. You could tell he was irritated, perhaps even more so than the rumors had suggested when he arrived at the brothel. The deep lines on his face seemed sharper under the dim lighting, and he ran his tongue over his lips, muttering something you couldn’t catch.
You knew there was no choice. Refusal would bring consequences far worse than simply losing money. So you swallowed your fear, lifted your chin, and stepped through the curtain with a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. Your steps were steady, but your heart waged a frenzied battle against your ribcage.
He didn’t seem impressed at first glance, but you could feel his gaze weighing on you as you moved closer. Each step shrank the safety distance between you. Your body moved almost instinctively from there, guided by the muscle memory of your unconventional profession. Carefully, you leaned down, letting yourself settle into his lap. Curiously, Silco showed no visible signs of discomfort, but he didn’t seem particularly engaged either, which only heightened your anxiety.
You assumed he would take the initiative, steering things more directly as clients often did here. The small talk, the courtesies—they always seemed unnecessary in a place like this. Your hands hesitated as they reached his shoulders, finding them rigid at first, but he appeared to relax slightly, sinking back into the sofa with a heavy sigh. It took you another moment to finally find your voice.
“You seem... stressed.”
“Those men aggravate me.” he muttered in response, his voice heavy with frustration, as if exhaustion had seeped into his very soul at that moment.
You nodded as though you understood perfectly. Of course, you didn’t, but you knew how to agree with powerful men without questioning them. Despite the fear that churned within you, you noticed something: he had let you touch him. A rare allowance for someone as reserved and commanding as Silco. The realization was strange, but it made you move your hands more carefully, wanting to prolong his apparent calm.
Silco’s mismatched eyes—one blue, the other orange—scrutinized you with an intensity that made you feel as though he was truly seeing you for the first time. He tilted his head slightly and asked, his tone more curious than cold:
“You haven’t told me your name.”
“Call me whatever you wish,” you replied sweetly, your voice melodious, though only you knew how forced every word felt. Your fingers, braver than your spirit, began tracing subtle lines across his chest, feeling the expensive fabric of his clothing and the warmth of his body beneath it.
“I’m aware of that, but I’d still like to know your name.”
After a moment’s hesitation, you gave him your name. Silco repeated it, testing the syllables on his tongue. Hearing your name spoken by him unsettled you in a way you couldn’t quite place—it was strange how easily it rolled off his lips, as though it meant nothing, and at the same time many things. You weren’t sure if he was genuinely interested or if it was just conversational habit, but the fact that he asked stirred something within you.
“It suits you.” he said. From the subtle curl of his lips, you knew he’d noticed your nervousness. “Indulge my curiosity. What brings a woman as beautiful as you to a place like this? Surely, you have dreams that extend beyond satisfying the desires of others.”
Before you could think of a response, Silco's fingers moved to your face, brushing aside a stray strand of hair that had fallen over your shoulder. The touch was slow and soft—almost too intimate for someone like him. The warmth of his fingertips against your skin sent a shiver coursing through your body. Your instinct was to pull away, but you didn’t dare.
Swallowing your hesitation, you leaned slightly into his hand, like a cat seeking affection. Your posture remained controlled, the smile on your lips unwavering.
“Me? Well, I’m like any child of Zaun... I had to find a way to survive, so let’s skip the tragic parts of the story.” Your fingers began to toy with the fabric of Silco’s suit, admiring the quality of the material. It was the kind of fabric you’d never dreamed of owning, let alone touching. “I got lucky with my looks because, honestly, having sex and earning money beats living on the streets.”
You forced a smile as you said the words, trying to project confidence, though the very idea of finding yourself here still felt unreal. What you truly wanted to say was something entirely different: that you hadn’t had a choice. But that part, you kept to yourself.
“Besides, if I hadn’t chosen this path, I would never have had the chance to be here with you.”
It was an empty, contrived line, but you assumed it was what he wanted to hear. That had always been your role—making others feel desired, as though being in their presence was a privilege for you. Deep down, the bitterness of the lie gnawed at you, but you’d long since mastered the art of hiding it.
Silco’s touch, still unexpectedly gentle, lingered on your face, tracing the curve of your jawline with a calmness that seemed to contradict the dangerous aura surrounding him. Every nerve in your body was on high alert as he stayed silent, simply observing you, his fingers mapping your features. You couldn’t ignore the satisfaction he seemed to draw from your hesitation, as though your nervousness was precisely what he wanted to extract.
“I can see why the men of Zaun would pay handsomely for your... company,” Silco murmured, his voice low and deliberate as his fingers trailed down to your lips. “Still, surely you could have found another path. Something that didn’t involve selling yourself to the highest bidder.”
The disapproval in his tone struck like an invisible slap. You blinked, startled, unable to hide the brief flicker of disbelief on your face. Him? The chemical baron who ruled Zaun, questioning your morality? He, who built his fortune by exploiting desperation and chaos through Shimmer? It was almost laughable, but the weight of his words left no room for humor.
“Tell me the truth,” he continued, his voice slow, each word laced with a faint, mocking edge. “Is this what you want? Spending your nights warming the beds of strangers, smiling as they use you for their pleasure?”
Your fingers, which had been toying with the fabric of his suit, returned to your own body, creating the barest sliver of distance between you—though it felt impossible to achieve while still perched on his lap. You briefly considered keeping up the act, retreating to the mask of seduction and sweetness. But something about his tone, the intensity in the look he gave you, made it clear he wouldn’t accept a rehearsed answer.
"You’re hardly in a position to lecture anyone about morality, you know that?" Your voice was steadier now, stripped of the syrupy tones you had wielded before. There was still caution, but also something resembling either confidence or sheer madness. You weren’t entirely sure what was fueling you. "But the truth is, you don’t have much choice when you attract too much attention. Men have this pathetic need to turn anything they desire into property. If I weren’t here, I’d probably be some baron’s plaything... or any other man’s who thought he had that right."
You caught the slight shift in his expression, but you didn’t stop before he could interrupt.
"At least in the brothel, I have a small sense of safety. Here, we protect each other. It’s not ideal, but it’s enough to survive." Your words dripped with a cynicism you wore like armor, but they were genuine. Silco remained silent. "Satisfied?"
His touch grew firmer then, his hand gripping your chin and forcing you to meet his gaze. Silco didn’t settle for easy answers, and that kept you on edge. His mismatched eyes bore into yours, as if he could rip the truth from behind your façade by force. For a moment, your body betrayed your mind, trembling under the weight of his focus—or perhaps under the heat radiating from him.
"No," he said softly, his voice laced with an undeniable authority. "I’m not satisfied."
There was something in his tone that both soothed and terrified you. "I recognize value when I see it, and you’re not just a pretty face or a warm body to be used and discarded. You’re a survivor, my dear. And survivors don’t settle for scraps when they could have the entire feast."
Silco leaned closer, his face now so near that you could feel his breath ghosting over your skin. The hand that had been holding your chin slid down to your waist, pulling you even closer. He was invading your space, breaking every boundary you had tried to set before. It should have made you furious, and yet, there was something maddeningly magnetic about his words, his tone. Like a moth drawn to the flame.
"And what if I told you." he murmured, his voice dropping into a husky whisper near your ear, "That I could offer you another path? A way out of this gilded cage you’ve trapped yourself in? All you have to do is say yes."
It was tempting—far too tempting. But you knew better. This was a trap, a carefully spun illusion of power designed to lure you in. Silco wasn’t just a chem-baron; he was a master manipulator, someone who played people like pieces on a chessboard. His hands were stained with blood, and you weren’t going to become one of his victims.
Your shoulders tensed, and your hands moved to his shoulders, pushing lightly as though instinctively trying to create space between you.
"You’re right about one thing," you whispered back, your voice low but carrying a newfound confidence even you didn’t quite recognize. "I’m a survivor, precisely because I don’t trust men like you."
Your nails dug into his shoulders—not to hurt him, but as a way to anchor yourself, to remind yourself that you still had some semblance of control. To keep yourself from faltering under the weight of his presence. After all, few dared to deny Silco, knowing full well he could take whatever he wanted in the end.
"It’d be foolish of me to say ‘yes’ so easily..." you continued, taking a measured breath to steel yourself. "Everyone in Zaun knows that accepting one of your offers is the same as selling your soul to the devil."
Silco's movement, leaning back slightly to return a fraction of space to you, wasn’t a concession—it was a strategy. He was calculating his next move, and you knew it. His gaze remained fixed on you, and despite his apparent calm, you could feel the weight of his stare—heavy, like a verdict. He didn’t like being challenged, especially by someone who, theoretically, had no power to oppose him. Yet, there was something about you, something that even Silco found himself impressed by, if only for a fleeting moment. He seemed to respect your defiance—admiration disguised as frustration, perhaps.
"You're bold, aren’t you?" Silco spoke, almost amused. "Most girls would jump at the chance to be under my protection. But not you. No, you're far too clever for that."
His hand rose again, this time stopping at your throat, where his fingers rested, feeling the rapid rhythm of your heartbeat. It was a gentle touch, but undeniably threatening—a silent warning. And though the sensation was unsettling, it was nothing you hadn’t dealt with before. After all, if he truly wanted to kill you, he would have done so already.
"Allow me to clarify my proposal, dove," he continued, his voice softening in a way that only heightened your distrust. "I’m not offering salvation or a fairy tale ending. I’m offering you a chance to survive, on your own terms. To rise above the squalor and degradation of this place."
His touch shifted, his free hand sliding along your waist, tracing every contour of your body with an unsettling softness. You could feel the warmth of his skin through the thin fabric of your dress, and you knew he could feel the heat of yours just as well. Your body tensed, but you didn’t give in—not even as his hand ventured lower, stopping on your thigh. A shiver ran down your spine, but your mind remained resolute, knowing that any sign of weakness would be an invitation for him to push further.
His tone, now little more than a husky murmur, made the air around you feel heavier, charged with a tension you knew he wielded with mastery. "All I ask in return is your obedience."
His hand, now bolder, slipped beneath your dress, brushing against your bare skin with a touch that felt almost possessive.
You swallowed hard.
"Think carefully," he continued. "Is serving me really worse than being passed from hand to hand, always in danger of being killed like any other cheap whore? At least with me, you’d be valued. Protected."
The silence hung heavy in the air, broken only by the sound of your breathing, a rhythm that seemed to amplify the rising tension. Silco held the advantage here—he knew it, and so did you. For all your cunning, there wasn’t much you could offer him beyond your defiance. But you weren’t one to yield without a fight. He might have been formidable in many ways, but all men, no matter how imposing, had a weakness. And you knew this weakness well enough.
"My obedience..." you said, your voice soft, dripping with sweet venom. "You already have it… for tonight."
You pressed your body against his, deliberately moving against the part of him he most desired yet had been neglecting. For the briefest of moments, you caught the crack in Silco’s stoic façade, a flicker of pleasure that betrayed him as your slow, deliberate movements sent a surge of heat to his core. Your hips rolled against him provocatively, the thin fabric of your dress bunched high enough to leave almost nothing to the imagination. The lace of your panties pressed against the unmistakable hardness growing beneath his trousers.
"Isn’t this what you came for, after all?" Your voice was a seductive whisper, yet tinged with irony, your tone laced with a hint of mockery. This wasn’t the submissive game you’d been playing earlier. Not anymore. Silco, with all his authority, likely hadn’t anticipated you flipping the cards the way you just had—appealing to something as raw as carnal desire.
You leaned in even closer, your lips brushing his ear, your warm breath sending a shiver through him. "Because I doubt you walked into this brothel looking to recruit a courtesan for your organization... am I wrong?"
Your words seemed to strike a nerve in the feared "Eye of Zaun," as he remained silent for a few moments, though you could feel the tension in his body. His grip on your flesh tightened, almost as if he was holding back. Then, the hand under your dress slid further upward, his fingers brushing against the lace trim of your panties. The touch sent an electric jolt through your veins; it was affecting you just as much as it was affecting him.
"You're playing a dangerous game, dove," Silco murmured, his voice low and laced with warning. "Tempting me with your body, even as you deny me with such effort. It's a risky move."
He leaned closer, just a breath of space separating your faces. "But I suppose that's what I like about you. You're not afraid to dance on the edge of the blade, even if it means getting cut."
Silco’s other hand slid along your neck, his fingers tangling in your hair before pulling gently, tilting your head back to expose the curve of your throat. You felt him inhale your scent, and your eyes fluttered shut as his lips grazed your skin. "However, don’t mistake my desire for weakness. You may not like the result."
"I have no doubts about that," you quipped, increasing the rhythm of your hips, the friction doing a fine job of making you forget you were dealing with a dangerous criminal. You could feel your panties growing damp. "But that doesn’t matter now, does it?"
With difficulty, you moved your head to face him again, despite the way his hand still gripped your hair. Your own hands wandered across his slender frame, sliding down toward his trousers.
"You’re paying to have me, not to talk." With practiced ease, you unfastened his trousers, your hand slipping past the barriers of his clothing, finally touching him. A gentle stroke, testing… "So let’s make your money’s worth."
━━━━━━━༺༻━━━━━━━ Silco's Pov
Silco's breath caught in his throat as her hand slid inside his pants, her fingers brushing his hardened length. The sensation was electric, sending sparks of pleasure racing down his spine. He could feel the heat of her skin through the thin fabric of his underwear, and it took every ounce of his self-control not to buck his hips against her touch. But even as his body responded to her ministrations, Silco's mind remained sharp and alert. He knew she was trying to gain the upper hand, to turn the tables on him by focusing their encounter on base carnal desires. And while he was more than willing to indulge in such pleasures, he refused to let her think she had won. But, he would recognize her cleverness.
With one swift movement, Silco grabbed her wrist, halting her exploration of his cock. He leaned in close, his lips brushing her ear as he spoke. "Ah ah ah, not so fast, dove," he purred, his voice low and dangerous. "You forget who holds the power here. I'm the one paying for your services, and I'll be damned if I'll let you set the pace."
Silco released her wrist and sat back, his eyes raking over her body with undisguised hunger. "Strip," he commanded, his tone leaving no room for argument. "I want to see every inch of that gorgeous skin. And then, if you're a good girl, I might let you touch me again."
As she began to comply, Silco allowed his gauze to drift down to the junction between her thighs. He could see the damp spot on her panties, evidence of her arousal, and it made his cock throb with need. But he held himself in check, determined to make her work for her pleasure, even if it becomes an unbearable temptation for both of them.
Once she was fully exposed, Silco reached out and ran his fingers along the edge of her undergarments, teasing her with the promise of his touch. "Now, show me what that pretty mouth of yours can do," he growled, his voice rough with desire. "And maybe, just maybe, I'll give you what you really want."
Oddly enough, that stubborn woman obeyed him without question, living up to what she had said about him having her obedience. The sight of her kneeling naked was sinful, even more so when her curious fingers made quick work of undoing his pants completely. Taking a moment to study his cock, and when Silco opened his mouth to let out a sarcastic comment she finally took him into her mouth.
Silco groaned as her tongue laved along his shaft, the wet heat of her mouth sending jolts of pleasure racing through his veins. He could feel his cock pulsing in her grip, the blood rushing to his groin as his arousal mounted. It took every ounce of his self-control not to simply grab her head and force her down onto his dick, to fuck her pretty face until he painted her throat with his seed.
But he resisted the urge, determined to savor every moment of this exquisite torment. She was skilled with her mouth, he had to give her that. She knew just how to tease and tantalize, to bring him to the brink of madness without pushing him over the edge.
Silco's hands fisted in her hair, his grip tight enough to be uncomfortable but not quite painful. He guided her head as she worked him over, showing her exactly how he liked it. Up and down she went, her lips stretched obscenely around his girth, her tongue swirling around the sensitive head of his cock.
"Fuck, just like that," Silco sighed with pleasure. "Take it deeper, dove. Show me how badly you want it."
He could feel his balls tightening, his orgasm building at the base of his spine. But he held back, determined to make this last. He wanted to hear she beg for it, to watch her break apart on his cock like the desperate little slut she was.
Silco's hips rocked in time with her bobbing head, his pace increasing as his arousal grew. He could feel the tension coiling tighter and tighter in his core, the pleasure bordering on pain. But still he held back, his iron self-control the only thing keeping him from exploding down her throat. Finally, when he couldn't take it anymore, Silco yanked she off his cock and hauled her up into his lap. He crashed his mouth against hers in a bruising kiss, his tongue delving deep to taste himself on her lips. His hands roamed her body, groping and squeezing, leaving marks of possession on her soft skin.
The kiss was confusing at first, perhaps because she probably didn't expect him to pull her in for a kiss. However, it didn't take long for her to give in, returning the same intensity. Of course, it would be foolish to think that her wandering hands would remain still since soon Silco could feel her gripping him and rubbing against herself. She had pulled her panties aside as she covered him with her wetness, as if her saliva wasn't enough. When the provocation seemed to last longer than it should, she lined up his tip with her entrance. That woman was going to kill him.
Silco groaned as she sank down onto his cock, her tight heat enveloping him like a vice. The sensation was exquisite, her walls fluttering and clenching around his length as she adjusted to his size. He could feel every inch of her, from the slick, velvety softness of her entrance to the tender spot deep inside that made her gasp and writhe.
His hands gripped her hips hard enough to leave bruises, his fingers digging into her flesh as he guided her movements. Up and down she rode him, her pace growing faster and more erratic as the pleasure built within her. Silco thrilled at the sight of her, head thrown back in ecstasy, breasts bouncing with each thrust of her hips. She was certainly a sight that would stay in his mind for a long time.
He leaned forward and captured one of her nipples in his mouth, sucking hard as he rolled the other between his fingers. She cried out, her back arching as the dual stimulation sent shockwaves of pleasure racing through her body. Silco could feel her walls tightening around him, her body tensing as she neared her peak.
"That's it, dove," he growled against her skin, his voice rough with lust. "Come for me. Let me feel you fall apart on my cock."
Silco's hips snapped up to meet hers, driving his cock deeper, harder, faster. The sound of their flesh slapping together filled the room, obscene and beautiful all at once. He could feel his own climax building, the pressure coiling tighter and tighter in his core. But he held back, determined to bring her over the edge first.
He reached down between their bodies, his fingers finding her clit and rubbing in tight, fast circles. The added stimulation was too much for her, and she came with a scream, her body convulsing around him as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her. And, as if possible, becoming even more beautiful.
Only then did Silco allow himself to let go, his own orgasm ripping through him like a tidal wave. He thrust up into her one last time, burying himself to the hilt as he exploded, his seed painting her insides with its heat. He could feel her milking him, her walls rippling and fluttering around his.
━━━━━━━༺༻━━━━━━━
You collapsed against Silco’s body, utterly spent, as if the world around you had vanished during those feverish minutes. Your forehead rested against his shoulder, and you desperately tried to catch the breath that seemed to have abandoned your lungs. Your body, slick with sweat, still trembled with the remnants of pleasure, involuntary aftershocks that left your overly sensitive skin prickling at the slightest touch. Every muscle felt too heavy to move, leaving you there, trapped between exhaustion and the slow return to reality.
The silence that followed was filled only with the sound of your uneven breathing mingling with his, punctuated by the muffled music, laughter, footsteps, and the occasional moans from other rooms. The brothel was alive, grounding you in where you were, even though the power play that culminated in this moment had momentarily made you forget.
"So..." You lifted your head slowly to meet his gaze, your voice husky and still thick with effort. "Did I please you?" You knew the question would sound like a provocation masked as submission, but you would regret letting the opportunity to tease him slip by so easily.
Silco remained silent for a beat, and then a low, rough chuckle escaped his lips. "Please me? That would be an understatement, dove." he replied, his voice still deep, almost purring. "You exceeded all my expectations."
As he spoke, you felt his fingers rise to your face, brushing aside a strand of hair stuck to your damp skin with a subtle touch. His heterochromatic eyes were locked onto yours, and the moment seemed to stretch on longer than it should have. A part of you wanted to pull away, but something about the intensity of his gaze kept you rooted in place.
His hands slid down your back, fingers tracing the subtle contours of your spine. The heat of his touch sent another shiver through you, your body still far too sensitive. He knew that, of course, and seemed to savor every small reaction he could elicit.
You thought he would push you away, that this moment would end quickly, but he didn’t. Instead, Silco’s lips met yours in a fleeting touch, so brief it could hardly be called a kiss. Then, his forehead rested against yours, his eyes closed as if he were absorbing what had just transpired, what he had just done to you.
"But I’m not done with you yet." he whispered, his voice a dark warning, the echo of something dangerous. Something you should fear.
But you laughed in response.
"I was hoping you’d say that," you teased, slowly shifting your position on his lap, feeling your muscles protest against the movement.
The smirk playing on your lips was wicked as you took in the state of him. Though still clothed, his appearance was far from composed. His trousers, carelessly undone, were wrinkled and disheveled, while his previously immaculate hair was a tousled mess. And those eyes—still hazy, swimming in lust—watched you with an intensity that sent a thrill down your spine. He was chaos incarnate, and you felt absurdly proud of being the one to unravel him.
"However..." You slid off his lap with the same provocative grace that had carried you through the entire evening, your body still trembling faintly from the lingering sensations. "I believe you'll have to pay again if you want to see me next time... Our time is up." You felt his cum, as well as yours, slide down your thighs as you sank into the spot next to him on the couch, but you didn't really care about cleaning it up. The only shred of decency you had was fixing your panties.
Even with nothing but your undergarments covering your skin, you made a point of turning this moment into something that would haunt Silco’s mind—a small finale, pure provocation.
Silco remained seated for a moment, his intense gaze never straying from you. There was something in his eyes—a possessive glint, almost feral. It was as though he wanted to say something, to act, but with an admirable display of restraint, he held back.
You watched as he reached into his pocket, retrieving a wad of bills. With a casual flick of his wrist, he tossed them onto the table in the corner.
"Consider that a bonus for your... exceptional service."
Rising from the couch, he began adjusting his clothes with mechanical precision. His nimble fingers fastened the zipper on his trousers and smoothed the creases in his suit. The final touch was the swift motion of his hands taming his disheveled hair, each strand returning to its rightful place. With every deliberate move, Silco reclaimed the aura of the man who commanded fear and respect across all of Zaun.
When he reached the exit of the room, he paused. He didn’t turn completely but tilted his head just enough for the warm orange glow of his eye to catch the dim light.
"I have a feeling we’ll see each other very soon, dove." Part2
#silco x reader#silco x you#reader insert#minors dni#arcane fanfic#no beta we die like silco#smut#arcane#arcane silco
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Part 3 for the fitclet I did for @keferon 's mecha pilot jazz au! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
For those who missed it:
Part 1 || Part 2
This is probably the longest out of all the 3 parts, dear god, I went all in. It came out bigger than I ever expected it to be. I was not expecting it to go this far honestly, but the parasites in me, they begged for more. So here we are! :D
Again tho, idk how in character they will be here, but I tried my best \(*T▽T*)/. Also, kinda bullshitted my way through in worldbuilding bc idk how things work exactly- and I had to come up with stuff on my own, even tho I'm not that good in mecha world stuff, so I'm sorry for any inaccuracies ^^;;
Now, to give credit to those who so desperately deserve it:
My sister @saltynsassy31 for helping me when I couldn't write out some of my ideas and doing it herself (so consider this as a bit of a frankenstein monster of both our writing styles, mainly during intense scenes. If there is any fancy words in this, it's cuz of her) and being my beta reader for this part. Seriously yall, this wouldn't have been as coherent and well written without her help!
Also huge thanks to my online sister @yayadrawsthingz for helping out when I hit a few road blocks during this!
And finally, a huge huge thanks to my honorary online uncle @hexyz09 for helping me finish off the final fight scene when I got stuck during some plot holes and road blocks, or generally just writing myself into a corner and having to help me leave it, despite not knowing jackshit about the au, let alone the ship and characters themselves, but was still willing to help me through in working on the plot, in this crazy obsession of mine XD
Yall have no idea how much help these guys were. Probably wouldn't be able to finish without either of their help ᕦ(òωóˇ)ᕤ
Oh and an honourable shoutout to the song "Headlock" by Imogen Heap! Kept listening to this on loop as it kept my drive up to write this.
Now onto the fic!
---
Prowl ignored Jazz's various attemps to push out his servo from the cockpit. Despite the mech being weak himself, the human was still no match against thousands of pounds of metal, especially in his own weakened state.
Which was a matter of its own at the moment. Prowl knew he had very little time to be able to run ahead before the other humans caught on to them, having noticed the alarm bells ringing through the facility.
So he ran towards the exit Jazz had initially pointed out, the only plan they had at the moment.
...
"Prowl! Prowler, hey! I know you can hear me! Prowl!" Jazz shouted as he slammed yet another fist in a failed attempt to nudge the bot's servo out of the way. He hasn't said a word since picking Jazz up, and he wasn't sure how long that was, maybe not that much, but it felt too long yet too little at the same time (what a headache).
Sliding down, he gently hit his forehead over the protective servo and let out a sigh of defeat. No way he could get him to move like this.
Why was he trying to anyways? Didn't he want to be with Prowl? He certainly did, but somehow, something in him made him feel like he shouldn't just be accepting this.
And maybe Prowl also knew this, which is why he took off and hasn’t said a word since. Both held conflicted feelings about the whole thing. If only things didn't feel so blurry right now!
Suddenly, a hard shift made Jazz stumble a bit, grasping at whatever he could so he didn't fall back, loud noises of metal scrapping metal could be heard as something got kicked open on the outside. Jazz scrambled over to the small crevice that opened between Prowl's digits, not enough for him to fit anything over other than his hand, but enough to get a glimpse of what was happening outside.
Prowl had kicked down the exit door to the lab ('not like he had the hands available to properly open the damn thing anyways' Jazz thought to himself). It was meant for mechas to exit the room after they finish off whatever it is they do in here, that Jazz knew, and if he was right, just down the hall there will be another exit leading to the backroom where they stockpiled the mech suits. No one but the technicians were usually supposed be there, it would be an easy fight to get to the big gate that lead to the outside training grounds, which is why Jazz had pointed for the mech to go down there in the first place.
There shouldn't have been a problem besides giving him time to leave unscathed. Which Jazz assumed would not be the case as he was currently inside Prowl and not buying him time to escape. But, to Jazz's surprise, nothing had come close to attacking them, yet.
The pilot did not have much time to contemplate it as suddenly he heard Prowl rumble an annoyed grunt.
"Don't move."
In shock, Jazz stumbled back as Prowl removed his hand and reached for the end of the overhead gate, seemingly alot harder to kick down than a two way door. The only thing it would really do would be to bend the metal a bit but it wouldn't give an open entrance. Jazz didn't dare leave, not like he could from this hight, but even if he could, Prowl would probably just pick him up again; it be a waste of energy really (just admit it, you don't want to leave him). But something about this felt wrong, so far they haven't had a single guard come down the hall, just this small pause would give them enough time to catch up to the two runaways, Jazz was sure that guards had been on his tail when he was under his rampage.
Unless...
Wait.
"Prowl! Wait don't open that gate!" But he was too late, the moment he uttered those words the mech had already been in motion and pushed the gate up with all his might and as quickly as he opened it a gun shot came through the otherside. They had been waiting for them, they knew where they were heading. The bastard he kicked down prior to this probably saw them and reported it, dammit.
Prowl let out a strangled cry of pain as the shot landed right on his left shoulder (like it wasn't damaged enough by the lack of arm), Jazz fell backwards with the harsh motions, hitting the back of the pilot's seat, the impact leaving his vision to go dark for a few seconds before he collected himself as quickly as he could. In an instant though, just as he tried to get back up to see what was outside, Prowl had put his hand back over the open cockpit.
No...he wouldn't be able to fight like this, protecting him as he is would only hinder the bot to more damage. And that's exactly what Jazz intended to express to the other. "Prowl! You won't be able to fight with your hand over me! Forget about holding me inside, I won't leave, I promise!"
"That's not the point!" Prowl growled, letting out another hiss of pain as more shots were loaded, someone shouting out for them to stand down.
Prowl couldn't risk leaving Jazz exposed. Unlike the human, Prowl could take a few shots, their weapons not being strong enough to inflict any serious damage to his plating (though perhaps a bit to his exposed protoform, though he could handle it for a little while longer). But it would take one lucky shot on Jazz to have him dead in an instant, and Prowl couldn't take that chance.
It seemed like Jazz got the message, not spitting back any sort of remark about Prowl's lack of explanation.
But the mech couldn't linger too much on those thoughts, he had to get out, and fast. He was losing too much energon, and his vision was starting to get blurry, which wasn't a good sign. It didn't help that his thoughts were a hazy mess, his usual ability to think logically overthrown by the panic of needing to get out of this place while ensuring Jazz's survival.
It's not like he had much to do, though. Any possible escape hindered by the fact he couldn't use his weapons unless he risks Jazz's life to one lucky shot. Perhaps he could make a run for it, knock through the mechas in front of him and let them tumble over as he reached the final exit; it wasn’t the best plan perhaps, with at least a 19% rate of success, given he isn't in the best physical state at the moment, he probably wouldn't be strong enough to knock them over. Added to the fact the exit wasn't shut by a gate he could simply knock over easily either, like the previous one. He'd have to push it open from the bottom, and there wasn’t enough time for him to act on it.
But he'd have his back turned to the shots, reassuring Jazz's own safety, so he could perhaps risk removing his servo to push the gate open once more.
With a quick warning from his HUD telling him his energon levels were getting dangerously low, Prowl decided to take the risk, with little time left, he took a step forward making a run for it.
The mechas seemed to ready themselves for his attack, quickly positioning their weapons to target him, closing any narrow space they had between each other.
What they didn't expect was for the mech to charge his whole body weight onto them. Despite not feeling any pain, they certainly could not fight against gravity itself. They all stumbled against each other as Prowl made a mad dash to the gate. He slid on his knees and made a quick reach for the bottom of the gate, anxiously removing his hand from over the cockpit, bending over protectively as to not have anything be able to aim inside.
He could feel his spark beating fast from anxiety, they were so close, they'll be able to leave soon enough. Jazz was most certainly having a good feel to Prowl's anxious beat, the loud thruming reaching the bot's own audials was most certainly deafening to the human sitting near it.
Then, a shot.
A pop.
A blinding light.
And the beat stops.
Jazz was curling in on himself as an instinct to protect himself from the sudden burst behind him. It only took a few seconds for him to realise what that was once he couldn't hear a single beat of a spark, or the burning sensation it left, feeling his own heart stop and drop to his gut.
It felt like the world around him suddenly stopped, everything going into slow motion, with no sounds to accompany the dread. Feeling as Prowl's body leaned foward to crash on the ground.
But just as quickly as the silance came, it left. Prowl catching himself from hitting the ground with a grunt, a slam could be heard as his arm and elbow made contact with the concrete floor. His spark beating, weakly, but beating nonetheless. What felt like hours of silance was only a quick few seconds of deafening dread.
"Prowl!" Jazz called out in desperation, reaching out to hold the edges of the cockpit, so not to fall out, but to also try and comfort his anxiousness as he tried to look up at the mech's face. The mech made a sound of acknowledgement, which came out more like broken static, but didn't make much effort to move, his face scrunched up in pain, optics shut. They shot him on his back, too close to where his spark would be, causing him to skip a beat, and busting a bit of his left doorwing, but it still seemed to function somewhat.
Suddenly, both of them picked up on the sound of something opening, giving no time for either to fully process what had just occurred. Prowl made a quick move to get his hand over the cockpit once more (with slight struggle as he stumbled and fell on his aft) as a thick metal slab emerged from above and beneath, right in front of the gate, shutting it close with a protective layer of metal. Guessing by the red alarm ringing around them, an emergency protocol to keep anyone from leaving. Slag.
The mechas surrounded them, guns all aimed to shoot at the alien mech if he didn't comply.
It was silent for a brief moment, in exception to Prowl's anxious beating spark (which wasn't a problem for Jazz at the moment, the burning warmth being somewhat comforting) and Jazz's own heart beating over his ears. Both catching their breaths.
"There's no point in fighting. So make this easy for all of us and surrender yourselves." A nobody pilot finally spoke out, weapon leaning a tad closer than the others.
The atmosphere felt heavy, they were pinned down. Really, the only thing they could do was surrender, but Jazz would sure as hell be reprimanded for his actions and Prowl.....he didn’t want to think about that. No, he wouldn't even allow that thought to become any sort of reality.
"Prowl" he whispered, knowing only the mech would hear him, leaning a gentle souch to his servo as if to beg, "I know you might not have alot of trust 'n me, but this might be our best shot." There was a tense shift, not too noticeble unless you could see the mechanisms from the inside, Prowl knew what he was about to suggest. "You need to let me pilot you." He cringed as he felt the other's servo stiffen, he wasn't pleased with the idea, and neither was Jazz, but he knew this place alot better than Prowl did, and knew how to properly defeat the mechas, knowing their weak spots. And Prowl was all too aware of that too, Jazz knew it. They both were very aware of it all.
"Please," he begged, leaning his forehead on the mech's servo yet again, "I can't lose you again." There was slight shift, Jazz looked up, though he obviously couldn't see the mech's face, the sigh he let out was loud and clear. The controls on the pilot's seat shifted, Jazz got the message:
'Alright'
He couldn't help but let a small smirk creep over his face, making way to sit down and start piloting.
"Under one condition though," Prowl suddenly whispered to him, though it was alot louder to Jazz on the inside.
"And what would that be, partner?" The title flew out too fast for Jazz to stop himself, feeling so natural to call Prowl partner once more. The mech didn't seem against it though.
"No removing my hand."
Jazz was left stunned for a quick second, though it felt like a minute for Prowl as he waited for a reply eagerly.
"I can work with that." Prowl let out a sigh of relief at that, allowing the human, his partner, to take control of him again.
It took a moment for Jazz to adjust himself, in the meantime, the people waited outside anxiously for the other to make a move. When Prowl finally started to shift around to stand up with a small grunt, everyone raised their guns and loaded them up, but didn't shoot just yet. The mech looked up at them with a deadly glare, but made no move to attack, his remaining arm not leaving the open cockpit for a second, he simply stood up with a slight slump to his posture, doorwings drooping down slightly. In all possible ways, he looked weak and defeated, no signs of fighting back.
One of the mechas walked closer, gun still aiming at Prowl, but it was lowered slightly. They reached a hand out expectantly.
"The pilot, hand him over." They demanded, no sympathy whatsoever.
Prowl clutched his chasis, anger pooling over in his spark, doorwings twitching up slightly, but he made no move to attack. Not yet. He heard Jazz speak to him in a low tone so only he could hear it, with a sigh, he relaxed. He slowly, very slowly, drew out his hand from the cockpit, the action in itself having the other mecha have their body relax slightly as they approached the mech, weapon being put down slightly enough, and so did the others around them. Jackpot.
Before he fully removed his servo, the mech made move to crouch down and in a swift motion swung a peed over to the mechas own, catching them off balance and knocking them down. Jazz let out a small hiss to the action, forgetting his own injured leg, but pushed on regardless.
Using the thrusters of his doorwings, they were able to balance themselves back up, Prowl's servo going back into fully protecting it's pilot once more. With most weapons being aimed up and not down, it took a delayed second to aim correctly, but it was enough time for the human and cybertronian duo to twist themselves out of harms way.
Before the fallen pilot could attempt to get up, Jazz made move to aim over the weak spot of their mecha's knee and stepped hard enough to break its mechanisms so they couldn't stand back up easily. But the glory was short lived as more shots were fired their way.
Jazz's hand twitched to move and use its weapons, but he resisted the urge with a slight huff, "Man, 's hard to fight without an arm!"
"This is none negotiable, Jazz." Prowl hissed as they made move to avoid more shots.
"I know, I know! Don't mean it makes it easier!" Jazz tried to analyse their surroundings, though it was made difficult with the many HUD warnings from all the injuries (the pilot couldn't help but mutter a broken "I'm so sorry" to his partner, whether the mech heard him or not he wasn't sure), but pushing through it, he took note of a few key details. There was a metal catwalk grate near above the mechas' heads, running with a few on ground troops, the bastard of a boss being one of the few amongst them. Near a corner stood an elevator to go up and down the area.
How that could help, Jazz wasn't sure yet.
A shot hit Prowl's arm, pain flowed through the mech as he moved out of the way once more. Jazz looked around in a frenzy to find a place to shield themselves....the mechas! Making a run for to the lifeless husks, he swivelled around between them and hid behind the many rows of mechas knowing full well that they would not risk such precious resource and money just to reach them. At least he hoped not, because he just needed a little bit of time to figure something out.
Hearing the big man call out to hold their fire was good enough indication that his idea worked.
"Ok, now we just need somethin' to distract them long enough for us to make a jump to the ceiling." Jazz explained
"The ceiling?" Prowl inquired, not so certain about his partner's ability to properly think at the moment.
Jazz rolled his eyes, but didn't make mention of the mech's tone. "It's the weakest point here, plus" he made way for Prowl to look up to where he remembered the area to be at, "there's a trap door for flying mechas and emergencies. One quick press of a button will open it up, even under "safety protocols."" Prowl let out a hum in thought, seeming to analyse the situation.
"Possible, but where is this said button?"
"Behind the elevator, by the catwalk grating on top. There's a control panel, and one big red button, can't miss it."
"Would smashing it still get it to work?"
"Yes."
"Then I don't have any complaints."
"Good, now," Jazz went back to scanning the area, "how to cause a distraction?"
"Would that broken pipe be of any use?" Prowl made an effort to twitch his head over to the direction of what he wanted Jazz to see. And just as the mech stated, there, by the first floor of the elevator, stood a broken pipe, steam coming out of it.
Jazz smirked "it would actually. If we can get somethin' to shoot at it, we might cause an explosion, giving us time to jump up without being the target anymore."
"Sounds like a plan." Prowl shrugged.
"Don't have anything to add?" Jazz asked a bit surprised.
"No, I don't." The pilot didn't push.
"Okay. Well, let's get these bastards shootin." In quick motion, they made way to the elevator, already hearing the commands to shoot fire, 'but watch for the machines!' Weapons were loaded from above as well, shooting down at the two runaways once again.
Jazz made sure to move swiftly behind the mechas, making sure they were shielded properly. Any gaps they had to cross was a small risk they needed to take, scrapes and scratches being left in its wake, but tried not to do it too often, just enough that they could follow them. They eventually reached where the pipes were, Jazz took a deep breath.
"Ready, big guy?"
"Ready."
They stepped foward, making sure to call the attention towards where they were, but quickly retrieting back behind the mechas suits as they shot directly where they wanted to hit. "Bingo."
Quickly, activating Prowl's thrusters, they leaped over to the metal grates that stood above them as the pipes behind them burst, causing a huge commotion as empty mechas fell down and whatever machine near the crossfire tumbled down. Prowl let out a gasp as he felt the world around him spin, the grating beneath them not being of any help as it shook with his weight. Jazz was quick to hold on, helping the mech stablise himself before aiming with his left foot to kick the big red button with their ticket out of here, the motion causing his vision to flash in pain, but he bit his toung until he could taste iron and pushed forward.
Hearing the metal door above them open up, Jazz readied himself, but hesitated with the warning he'd received from Prowl's HUD from his low energon levels. He didn’t even get the chance to fully check on it though, Prowl quickly pushing them out of the way himself.
"I'll live, just one more push." The mech hastily reassured the human. Jazz wasn't inclined to belive it though, feeling the other's spark beat anxiously (and for some reason that made him feel slightly dizzy. Though he chalked it up to it being his possible concussion).
It took one shot to slip an inch away from Prowl's face for them to finally snap out of it and jump. One more push from his thrusters as they flew up through the trap door and landed on top of the roof with a grunt, the mech's left wing finally giving out.
But they weren’t in the clear yet. Looking out, a wasteland of a forest awaited them, with dense trees at the bottom.
"We'll have to make a jump for it. If we're lucky enough the trees will be big enough to hide us." Jazz supplied.
"45% of that happening. But we don't have much of another option at the moment." Prowl added
With all that being said, Jazz moved into action. With so much at stake, he had to, he couldn't waste another second in debating. Hefting Prowl up, he used all remaining strength to jump where they needed to go, but as the training grounds began to get closer than anticipated, Prowl knew they didn’t make the jump and that made the mech almost freeze.
Though Jazz had other plans, because as their impending flat doom approached in rapid speed, Prowl's remaining thruster burst to life and gave that final impusle they needed to reach the slope. They both braced themselves as they were thrown up and over to their intended destination, Prowl having half a mind to tighten his hold over his chest so none of the debris and impact could reach the fragile human still in his care.
They rolled down the slope, Prowl just barely being able to shift himself so that he was sliding on his back instead. The aggresive motion of going down a not so smooth path causing bigger cuts and slashes against his already damaged frame. But the only thing he could think of at the moment was that they made it.
Jazz was quick to let go of his control over Prowl, who in turn made an effort to sit properly. Though the sudden slamming to his servo made him look down worriedly, moving it slightly to see Jazz leaning on it desperately.
"Prowl-" he heaved, "Prowl put me down I'm feeling sick."
The mech panicked and quickly made move to help the human down, gently placing him on the grass below. Jazz made no effort in being graceful as he hurled over and puked his guts out, luckily avoiding Prowl in all of this.
Clutching his stomach in pain, his heaving and coughs agitating the injuries on his abdomen. Everything around him felt blurry and muffled as his body made sure to get everything he had eaten in the past day out of him.
What made him panic was the sudden taste of iron in his mouth as he coughed up whatever he had left inside. That's not good. And that definitely didn't escape the giant mech's notice, who kept a hovering servo near him.
"Jazz! Is that blood?!" His voice sounded so broken, static lacing over his words.
"Uh- Yeah. Yeah it is." He wasn't sure how to deny that really, and he felt too light-headed to try. But his attention diverted to the sudden pink glow that landed at the side of his vision.
Energon.
Quickly looking up, he finally got a glance at his partner's battered condition. Energon leaked from many different parts of his body, but the main source being from his missing arm. Jazz couldn't help but cringe at that.
But what hurt him the most to see was the weak light from the mech's optics, which still held visible concern on them. Despite being close to going into offline, he still looked at Jazz as if he's about the crumble into dust and leave him. Which he honestly, maybe, felt like. But seeing Prowl's optics flicker as they fought to stay online, Jazz panicked
"What 'bout you?!" He called back, catching the bot off guard. "You're losing too much energon! You look like you're about to go offline!"
Prowl cringed a little, not having anything to counter that. "Well that's because I-"
"No! I'm only a little bit dizzy, but I'll live. We need to patch you up right now!"
"I can help with that."
The new voice catches the duo off guard, Prowl immediately reaching out to Jazz, hand shielding the human from whoever that might be. Jazz looked down from where he was looking at Prowl and turned to see who it was that the voice came from.
There standing in front of them was a human carrying a simple tool box and a huge backpack strapped over one shoulder, filled with questionable things.
---
BEFORE YOU LEAVE, a little something I would like to point out for the fic, that some of yall with either like or not, during the process of writing this, I've seen a few posts keferon made about the spark being radioactive and such, and it sorta made me think a bit while developing Jazz's condition. So well, take Jazz's health in this as you will with this info :)
But anyways, yippie!! That's all for today folks! I hope yall enjoyed this one bc I definitely had a heck of a time writing this one XD
It got alot bigger than I anticipated and took much longer to finish than I originally planned (was supposed to be done 2 days ago).
Now, I know I keep saying "not sure if I'll make another part to this" but then proceed to do so anyways. But I mainly do so because everytime I shared it someone said something that added to the story somehow and gave me ideas to continue foward.
So like, if yall liked this and wanna see more, don't be shy to suggest/add anything to this as it may help inspire me to add more onto this, cuz honestly idk what the fuck I'm doing rn, I'm just going with the flow ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
Also, a bit of note for the doodle, holy shit I did not expect it to look this good!! Tho I suffered with Jazz's suit, plz ignore any inaccuracies tee-hee. Prowl's knee and hands were hell too, especially his knee, but i could like, hide most of it lmao. Actually mainly struggled to not have his hand cover Jazz too much bc it kept covering the parts I actually wanted to show off lmao.
Oh and the guy at the end? Yall can take a good guess as to who it is :)
But since he doesn't have any official design, I kinda went with whatever felt right lol.
I also really wanted to draw out more scenes to add to the fic, but then it would take me a lot more time to actually post the fic as I figure out how to draw robots :'). But maybe I can try and doodle them out another time if I can, no promises tho-
#mecha pilot jazz au#oh god I'm so nervous about this one#i hope yall like it#and plz plz share whatever thoughts you have on this (as long as they're positive ofc bc my ego is very fragile YwY)#cake writed#yeah that's a tag now#cakes art#transformers#tf jazz#tf prowl#jazzprowl
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"Pet names" pt2 GN! BOT Reader + Prowl, Ratchet, Blaster, Bumblebee, Skyfire

Summary: Reader has become partial to using human pet names for everyone.
Warnings: none.
Genre/Theme: Platonic/with hints of crush
G1 characters included: Prowl, Ratchet, Blaster, Bumblebee, Skyfire.
Notes: Cybertronian Reader, Reader is around Ironhides age so older in mind
Pronouns: You, your, yours, them, they

Prowl is trying to get a verbal review of your report while finishing up his own. You've all been busy the past week, so you're walking through the ark hall while conversing. And you finish, so you move to hand him the physical report on the datapad. "Here you go, Pudding."
Prowl full-on stops in place when he hears what you say, fully expecting his audials to be glitching. "What did you just say?"
"Here you go, Pudding." You hold the datapad out, still completely unperturbed by what you'd just done and even more so when having to repeat it. Prowl processor lags- Because you're calling him- human pet names of all things without reason. But he forces his system to straighten out and consider your personality. This stops it from getting worse since this may just be you behaving like... you.
"You know my designation." Prowl settles on stating the fact.
"I do." You stated back, still wordlessly holding the datapad for him to take. Annoyance slowly seeps into Prowls frame at the exchange, and he takes the datapad from you.
Prowl gives you a long calculating look. "Do not do it again." He settled on.
You just shrugged, a small smirk curling on your derma. "Okay later then, Pumpkin." You turn and leave before Prowl comprehends this pet name, which makes his helm snap to your retreating form.
Prowl does not enjoy it. The incessant pet names you'd elected to now refer every autobot with. His wings twitch in annoyance whenever you call him "Pumpkin" or "Pudding" or allspark forbid "Peaches." Optimus fully pauldron shaking laughed the first time you'd called him that one. You humiliating Prowl was not how he wanted Optimus to get his R&R. However, he will tolerate it slightly more when Optimus is in the room. If not to watch you make a fool of Optimus, instead of him. Prowl had attempted to scold you the first time he'd seen you call Optimus "Sweetspark." their leaders' finials had pulled back when you'd done so- Optics brightened. But Optimus informed Prowl that he actually does enjoy the pet names. Prowl doesn't understand even after Oprimus's explanation of the supposed "benefits" of your behavior.
But he does look and watch after that and must conceded that there was- some, however mild, merit to the autobots general mood when you'd use your pet names. It was merely a bother in Prowls system, but he supposed he could make the sacrifice for the morale of the autobots.
Prowl wouldn't like it, however.
-
Ratchets resetting your leg juncture back into place after a battle. You hadn't bothered to come to him till after he got through everyone else. You'd apparently "forgotten" about it in the hustle of making sure everyone else got seen first. Slag is what it was, and Ratchet made sure you knew exactly what he thought. It realigns and clicks into place with you digging a servo against his pauldron with a hissing vent. You relaxed your jaw and nod in gratitude. "Ha- Thanks, love."
Ratchet almost coughs in shock, his plating flaring a touch. But after years of hearing everything from patients in pain or in surgery high on something, he just clicks his glossia. "Next time, don't forget to mention your own injuries."
Ratchet had assumed it was just a slip of the glossia at the time due to the pain and let it slide. Then the next time you're reporting from Optimus to him and call him "Handsome." And he's asking you to repeat that, which you shamelessly do with a smirk. Ratchet scoffed and told you he wasn't going to go any easier on you the next time you forget to come in. No matter how much you try flattering him. Then he sees you with the other autobots and learns you've simply picked this up as a habit.
Ratchet has to resist the urge to roll his optics every time you do it with him. He's gone from being prickly in response with you to half seriously threatening to short your mouth circuit if you didn't stop. But you only continued to do just that. Whenever you called him "Love," his damn spark hummed a touch louder. You've realized that too and tend to only use that more often or not. Much to his- exasperation. Ratchet does enjoy the casual affection to a degree. Reminds him of his younger days. The easier ones. So he doesn't ever throw a wrench at you for the pet names themselves.
Ratchet does definitely enjoy watching the others more than being on the receiving end. Watching Optimus's finials twitch, then pull forward slightly and his plating fluffing in response. Or Ironhide looking like he was going to blow a minor fuse from how bright his own optics were while he unsuccessfully tried to get you to stop. Even Prowls door wings twitching in obvious disdain makes Ratchet crack a smirk at least. So Ratchet let's it be for the most part. They could use some "softer" interactions around the base.
...
He's still telling you to stop whenever you do it to him, though.
-
Blasters cool with it. He's been in it with the humans at parties or at clubs (the ones he could fit in anyway.) And he's seen and even been on the receiving end of flirting pet names on the occasion. You calling him "Babe" didn't trigger much but an amused smirk. Blaster will return a few casual pet names himself a "Babe" here and there. But what is not cool is Jazz and you being as cringe inducing as possible on his audials. Blaster is sooooo sick of being subjected to you and Jazz's "flirting." It ain't flirting it's a failing clown show!
You'll get more of a fond smile when Blaster sees you pet naming his cassettes. They all fumbled a touch when you'd called them something with sweetness in your tone. Steeljaw, like always, is aloof and focused when you're on the clock. But when you're off? Just chilling at the ark? Steeljaw is a little slagger. Rewind and Eject at least have the decency to only do it when it's natural. Steeljaw will seek you out with his olfactory when you're both off duty to get called sweet names by you.
"I'm so glad you're still here, Foxy." You waved at Jazz, who was standing next to Blaster.
"And I'm so glad to see you too, Snookums." Jazz's tone is so absurd it actually makes Blaster feel physically tired.
"And I'm gonna purge." Blaster bluntly remarks, causing you both to turn to him, then share a look with each other. Jazz smiles in a way Blaster recognizes and is immediately cautious. Blaster jolts when you're suddenly leaning into his space. Your digits are now just barely tracing his boombox buttons.
You smile like a felinoid, and Blasters tries to back up, but Jazz is suddenly pressing up behind him, preventing his escape. Jazz's arms even wrapped around Blasters middle. You speaking makes his gaze snap back to you. "Come on, Baby, don't you wanna have some fun?" You worried your optical ridge, and Blasters glossia is feeling really thick in his mouth now.
Then, his dock compartment snaps open of its own accord, and Steeljaw ejects and forms right into your arms. You just chuckle and heft his cassette into a more comfortable position. "Hey baby! I know you won't say no to a little TLC, Blaster, however..."
Blaster, now broken out of that little trance, shook to break out of Jazz's hold. Jazz, however, did not release him - "Sorry Blaster! You're not approved for release until you enjoy at least five compliments from both of us!" Like pit Blaster was! He wasn't sticking around to hear the kind of slag you both called flirting! Blaster looked at Steeljaw for help only to slack at the smile on his cassettes muzzle. The little traitor!
-
Bumblebee isn't ambushed by it like the others- He's already heard through the autobot gossip about your new little routine. So he's mostly prepared and more wondering when/what you'd call him. You haven't used a pet name with him yet, so he's waiting on his pedes for it to happen. He half ends up wondering if you'll exclude him for some reason when you finally do it after a minor battle with the cons.
You're doing head count and injury report for Ratchet and get to him. Bumblebee almost trips, but you catch his arm and steady him. "Careful Honey, don't injure yourself after the battle."
Bumblebees optics burn only a touch brighter, but he's mostly amused. "Honey? Because of my designation translation?"
You just smirked, your own amusement growing in your em field. Bumblebee could feel it with how close you were right now. You leaned a touch further into his space. "What? Can't be because you're so sweet?" The heady wave of playful affection in your field mixed with that makes Bumblebees optics brighten in embarrassment proper. You just chuckled and squeezed his arm before moving to continue to make your post battle rounds. While Bumblebee wordlessly watched you go.
Bumblebee enjoys the attention even if it's admittedly embarrassing. Bumblebee thinks he might almost enjoy seeing the other autobots' reactions more than getting your attention himself. Almost anyway. While yeah it's definitely funny watching Ironhide especially try and get you to stop. Bumblebee enjoys each time you share a pet name with him just a little bit more. Bumblebee does admittedly feel a bit giddy whenever it happens. It makes him stand up a bit taller and makes him smile a touch whenever he hears it. A small rush of confidence courses through him every time.
The first time you called Bumblebee, "Lovebug." Though? Bumblebee walked right into one of the ark walls.
-
"Hey, teddy bear!" Teddy bear-? The small plush toys human children carry around? Skyfire stops when you call it out in the ark hallway, because he had no clue who you'd be directing the name towards... only to watch you wander right up to him. Skyfires optics widen a touch when you stop in front of him and look at him expectantly.
"Am I...?" Skyfire wondered aloud.
You only smirked and simply held out a datapad for him to take "Yeah you, teddy bear, need you to review this for me so I can approve it for Perceptor or not."
"I- Alright." Skyfire took the datapad unsure if he should ask about the name or not.
"Thank you, Darling." Now that one makes Skyfires optics brighten a touch. But you just salute him with two digits and go on your way again.
Skyfire quickly learns this was something of a habit you had picked up when he overhears the twins complaining about their pet names from you. Skyfire finds himself enjoying the affectionate names even if they do fluster him a touch. The affections were kind and freely given out by you. It was refreshing for Skyfire, especially after having joined this vorns long war, to hear them roll off your glossia. To see the crinkle in your optics. And to feel the light affection in your em field if he happened to be close enough to you when you did so. It was- normal. A touch embarrassing yes, but almost painfully normal.
You'd keep switching, but you mostly called him "Bear" or "Teddy bear," and on occasion "Darling". He'd asked about the Teddy bear nickname in particular since he understood darling as a pet name a touch more. And you just smirked and completely unabashed and said, "Humans say it's for someone big, dependable and lovable. So I think it fits pretty well." Skyfire ends up so embarrassed by the casual remark he can feel cobalt on his own faceplate. He ends up putting his servo over his own faceplate and looking anywhere but you. While you just laughed light at Skyfires own expense.
After that exchange, hearing you call him "Bear" or "Teddy bear" makes Skyfires optics brighten more than "Darling."
#transformers x cybertronian reader#transformers x reader#transformers x y/n#prowl x reader#ratchet x reader#blaster x reader#bumblebee x reader#skyfire x reader#transformers#x reader#rabot writes#💛
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I NEED Yandere tfe and tfp Starscream being comforted by their human after his daily beat down with Megatron. You don’t understand I want to kiss him and cuddle him so bad it makes me look STUPID.
It's okay, bestie - he makes me look stupid too. (●'◡'●)
Yandere!Starscream being comforted by his Human!Darling (TFP & TFE)
WARNINGS: Yandere behaviour (soft leaning??) Hurt and comfort, mentions of abuse and past abuse. Self deprecating behaviour (Starscream's). Reader is gender neutral and a human.

TFP Starscream
"Starscream!" Your cry of concern makes the seeker whince and his wings drop lower even more than they were already. There were many injuries with already leaking energon on his frame, dents here and there and another nasty marks that gave out how Starscream had to deal with another beating from Megatron.
And Starscream didn't want to let you see him like this - he looked pathetic, weak and he always feared one day you would realize that he wasn't worthy of your love.
Sitting on the metallic floor, the seeker hears the sound of your quick steps getting closer and feels the warmth of your hands touching one of his arms.
"Please, leave me alone." He pleads with his hurt voice, closing his optics and moving his helm away to not see you.
"As hell I am leaving, Starscream - He hurt you again!" You say, clearly angry and worried at the state of your lover. And it's your genuine worry that makes the seeker's spark clench and feel warm, too. It has been so many years since someone has ever been worried over him. You were such an angel, his true saviour, and he feels so disgusting with himself. He feels tainted, disgusting, dirty and someone as precious as you shouldn't be touching anything that is beneath you... like him.
"Starscream... please, look at me." You plead softly, and the seeker can't bring himself to not do what you ask, so he opens his optics and looks down at you. That gentle smile of yours makes him wail from the inside.
"My love, I... I just -" He starts, but quiets himself down when he feels you carefully get on his lap and hug him, your arms and head resting against his chestplate.
Precious you, divine you - someone as celestial as you loving someone like him. Starscream can't help himself but breakdown, allowing himself to cry as he is being 'held' by you. He didn't deserve you, you should only witness a worthy bot, not an injured one like himself. But the mere idea of you being in the arms of another bot made his spark clench and wail.
Even if it meant to have his frame marked and injured, his energon constantly leaking and be all battered and dented - Starscream would endure it to keep you with him. If it meant to have your eyes, attention and love on him, then Starscream will allow the others to humilliate him, to push him around, to bruise his pride and ego. Anything to have your love.
TFE Starscream
"Starscream... it was another nightmare, wasn't it?"
The seeker grumbles, moving his helm so he doesn't let you see the deep frown made on his faceplate and how he is hugging his legs against his chestplate for the sake of controlling his shaking frame.
Of course it was another nightmare and you curse silently to the bot and people whom had hurt your lover for so many years. Starscream has confessed to you that he was no saint or pure bot, he had done his share of pain and evil doing to get himself kicked around and punished. Still, there were many things that gave out that Starscream endured more passing from what he did, used as a punching bag by the leader he followed to then be trapped like a bird inside of a cage and witness his teammates be also pushed around as if they were nothing.
"It doesn't matter." Starscream says.
"It does matter!" You argue back, finally approaching your lover who, without asking or waiting, already extends his servo so you sit on it and carefully brings you closer to his faceplate. You place your hands on his faceplate, making the bot ex-vent and close his optics for a moment, finding comfort in them.
"... They found us - and he found me again. And while they took me back into that cell... he took you away from me. No matter how much I cursed and fought, you simply disappeared." He finally confesses, his voice trembling a little.
You frown, concerned - this wasn't the first time Starscream had a nightmare that was either related to G.H.O.S.T or Megatron. Still, it broke your heart each time to see him this shaken and affected.
"I am not going anywhere without you." You say, hugging his faceplate, and he snuzzles back.
You were right - Starscream wasn't going to let anyone take you away from him. He has finally found a place where he belongs, he has finally found someone who loves him dearly. And he loves you, too - so dearly it makes his spark nearly explode. He would shed energon and behead anyone who tries to separate you from him. He will burn down anything for you.
"... You'll never leave me." He mumbles.
"I won't. Ever." You mumble back, reassuring him.

I apologize for my inactivity o( ̄┰ ̄*)ゞ my job got too actively crazy last week and I am suffering the effects of burnout. Vhaos out!
#transformers#transformers x reader#yandere transformers#yandere x reader#tfp starscream#tfe starscream#starscream x reader#tfp starscream x reader#tfe starscream x reader
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It’s Temporary

AN: This was going to be a random blurb but I’m too into this and he’s such a dork. Guys don’t tell anyone but I kinda wanna write smut, I’m not going to because I’m scared but y’know.
(Heavily inspired by a bot on C.AI, pretty sure the user is @/zetali_09 so if you see this i love you.)
Warnings: Swearing, mention of an apartment blowing up….suggestive???

Set during Season 1, before the timeskip…
The cold, Upper city, night air chilled you to the core. The dark streets only illuminated by the few street lights scattered here and there. You wrap your cloak around you a little tighter as you made your way to the meeting spot. Making a sharp turn down a dark alleyway, you narrowly miss a couple of enforcers doing their nightly rounds.
Leaning against the cool, damp, brick wall. Enjoying the noises of the city, letting time pass by as you wait for your companion. Around a half an hour later, you hear heavy footsteps and the soft click of the high-cost, well made shoes echoing throughout the alley. You recognized those steps, he saved up for a long time to purchase those shoes, no way could you forget them. You open your eyes, turning towards the culprit of the noise. “Took you long enough, thought I was gonna rot out here.” You smiled at the shadowed man, stepping into the moonlight.
“Sorry, had a few things to finish up with my work. Left later than I expected…”
You walk up to him, trapping him into one if your famous bear hugs. An unfamiliar scent wafts from him, its sweet…it’s expensive. Definitely not his signature cologne smell—no, something different. You both stay there for a moment, enjoying the new company. Everything seems to fade away when your with him, it’s like he’s the cure to your disease.
“Been a while since we last talked—“
“Yeah, I…” You pull back, looking Jayce in the eyes. “I’m sorry. There’s been alot going on.”
His hands come up to your face, gently caressing it. He’s always gentle with you, a contrast from the rough, dangerous streets you grew up in.
“Hey…What’s going on?” His voice is soft and smooth, with the occasional voice crack, it’s not fair. His looks already make him desirable, but hearing him talk to you with that tone? Drooling.
“It’s my siblings, they’ve been getting into more and more trouble.” You fully pull away from him, turning towards the lit up entrance of the alleyway. “It’s like Vi doesn’t even realize how bad things can really get.”
“Hey—“ He takes a step foward, gently grabbing your shoulders and turning you to him. “I’m here. I’m here to help—with anything. We’ll figure this out okay?”
A bittersweet smile graces your lips, you close your hand over his placed on your shoulder.
“You don’t know the Undercity, Jayce. I don’t think there’s anything you can do to help me on this one…”
The two of you stood there, unspeaking. You can practically hear the gears burning inside Jayce’s head. You can almost smell the smoke coming from them, It’s obvious he’s thinking of ways to try and help you and your family. After a moment, you rest your head onto his chest, defeated, and looking for comfort.
“I can’t let you risk you life for this. You have too much ahead of you.”
You feel his arms wrap around you, bringing you closer. He buries his face into your hair, breathing in your scent.
“There is nothing ahead of me without you.” You lock your arms around him, holding back a few tears. Jayce feels you taking fast, deep breaths, attempting to keep your composure. It’s all been alot, apparently your kid siblings were being nosy—blew up some guys apartment. Now every enforcer in Piltover is searching for them. You take a deep breath, leaning up straight to face him again.
“I won’t let you risk your life for me…risk your future—”
“I’m not some idiot throwing himself into danger for fun! I’m protecting someone I love.”
That. That catches you off guard. Yes, you two have been messing around every other night, cuddling after, speaking soft sweet words to each other…but love? He didn’t really love you did he? You’re from the Undercity. The scum of the scum. He’s from the top, he’s perfect. No way he actually means this…does he?
“I’m choosing to do this because I care about you, I care about your family. You aren’t alone in this, no matter how much you think you are.”
Time stops for what feels like hours, you gaze into his eyes, trying to find some kind of sign to tell you he isn’t being true. You can’t. His caramel eyes look gold from the street lights, determined and dead set on aiding you. You let your head fall onto his chest again, giving him your unspoken permission to help with your situation.
“I just realized I didn’t ask about how you’ve been.”
His arms tighten around your body, gently rocking you both back and forth. “Ha…” Jayce lets out a breathy chuckle, preparing himself to recount the most recent and life changing events. “It’s been different…Some guys blew up my apartment.”
You freeze. There’s no way they did that. It can’t be the same apartment right? How many apartments blow up in Piltover? Oh my god. My siblings blew up his fucking apartment. “Uh…” You can’t even form a sentence, still shocked at the new information. What are you going to tell him—
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah—are you okay? You’re fucking apartment blew up!” You pull back from him, facing him again. Your hands find their place on his waist, trying to ground yourself after what you were just told.
“My back’s still a little sore but I’m fine.”
“How much did you lose?” His mood darkened, eyes darting to the ground. “Alot.” You take a deep breath, This shouldn’t have happened. He is a good man, maybe a little crazy sometimes but—good. This whole thing is a mess. Jayce doesn’t know your sisters are the ones who blew up his apartment, you can’t go and get onto them for this because they don’t know you’re with him. You’re stuck, with no one to go to, maybe Vander but…he’d get upset that you’re up here with a topsider. Just so happens, he’s the same topsider your sisters were targeting.
This is fucking stupid.
After giving him your apologies, you realize it’s getting light. You should start heading back home, hopefully without Vander noticing you were gone.
“Jayce, It’s getting early. I gotta start heading back…”
“So soon..?” He smiles, he’s clearly up to something as he brings his hands up to your jaw. The sun is slowly rising, changing the sky into beautiful hues of orange and blue.
“Have to get back before Vander wakes up, I do not wanna hear that lecture.”
“Do you have to? Maybe you could…stay with me?”
“Stay…Topside. With you.”
“Yeah, I mean we could spend the day together. Go and do something…” He takes your hands into his own, engulfing them. You take a moment to think about his request. It’d be fun spending time with him, you’d be able to really enjoy his company. Not waiting for something or someone to come out of the shadows, trying to rob you or worse.
“Okay…What did you have in mind?” A smug look slowly plagues his face as he takes your hands into his, leading you out of the alley and in the direction of his temporary home.
“Trust me?”
You grip his hands tighter, letting him lure you into whatever devious plan he’s set up.
“Maybe…”
Two shadows danced against the stone road, slowly disappearing as the sun rose higher into the sky. One by one, doors open, carriages roll by, and the occasional stray kid runs in front of you two. None of that matters, not when his callused, warm hands are handling you so gently. When he looks at you like you’re his world…like he can’t live without you.
It definitely doesn’t matter when he pulls you into his hotel, hands roaming each others clothed figures as he closes the door behind you.

Guys…Part 2?? What y’all think 😈
#ayce is cooking 𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋#arcane jayce#arcane netflix#arcane#jayce x reader#jayce talis#jayce league of legends#jayce talis x reader
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