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hauntedhotel · 5 months

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Me, on the welcome desk in the library: Good morning, how are you today?

Customer: I have welcomed Jesus into my heart and so I am well today and every day.

Me, a little unnerved: Okay then! Is there something I can help you with?

Customer, digging around in his bag and pulling out an iPhone in a box: Unfortunately, Jesus can't help me with this fucking phone, so I came to the library.

#libraries #we offer tech advice in the library #so it wasnt an out of pocket request #but people really do come to the library for help with the strangest things #its the buffy impulse #when in doubt #go to the library

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longsightmyth · 5 months

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People are so stupid about snakes. If there's a little black racer chilling outside just leave it alone, you don't have to kill it, it's probably dealing with all your pests for you, jesus christ

#anyway I'm sad #I even offered to move it myself yesterday and was told they couldn't find him #and then this morning apparently they did find him and just killed him immediately #it's just a little snake! he was outside!#they aren't venomous!

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a-study-in-bullshit · 7 months

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"I love you , I'm glad we're friends"

#web weaving #webweaving #a-study-in-bullshit #friendship #on friendship #i love my friends #are u really friends if u havent offered to eat them out before??#i think not

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pillowspace · 1 year

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GIRLY JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT CYERCE ELEGANS

If Cyerce nigricans is a butterfly, then this is a fairy... Cyerce nigricans for comparison:

#sea slug #ok i have to go make food #hello my 11k notes. may i offer you: sun fnaf #alright this has 15k notes now. i guess i'll add tags #marine biology #nature #ocean #sea slugs #marine life #animals #sacoglossans #sacoglossan

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vamprisms · 1 year

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omg imagine being born and you are on a spaceship and everyone aboard is sooo so mad at you just because you burst out of some guy's chest to be born. like um sorry i've not been alive before i didn't even know that's not allowed please be nice to me um the spaceship floor is cold is no one going to knit me some little booties i am calling child protective services

#she did all that because nobody offered her a nice bot bot of milk #alien

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insomniac-arrest · 1 year

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the heavy machinery when I'm on pain meds and not supposed to be operating them

#memes #anime girl offering her hand is heavy machinery to ME

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crumplstiltskin · 2 months

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they still go shopping together ☹️☹️☹️

#my art #fanart #sketch #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #itadori yuuji #kugisaki nobara #yes yuuji would switch shoes with her #in fact he would offer but her shoes are too small for him to put on #also he would ruin them

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nando161mando · 8 months

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#homeless #homeless people in edinburgh offered beds 250 miles away weeks after city declares housing emergency #homeless people #rent is theft #rent is too damn high #landlords are parasites #fuck landlords #landlords are scum #landlords are leeches #landlords are bastards #i’m a housing lawyer – landlords use new loophole to push out tenants in ‘bad faith’ evictions #landlords #i took my landlord to court over common rental problem that made my life hell and won $14 #court dismisses assault on landlord and son who threw student out in his ‘jocks’ after no rent paid #we had to flee our home as it was invaded by mice & bedbugs – inspectors said it’s ‘deplorable’ but landlord won’t act #landlord #rental #rent #auspol #politas #ausgov #tasgov #taspol #australia #fuck neoliberals #neoliberal capitalism #anthony albanese #albanese government #eat the rich #eat the fucking rich

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strawlessandbraless · 2 months

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Confess my love? The thing that killed my friend Castiel from Supernatural?

#can I instead offer you a knowing nod and a firm handshake in these trying times #supernatural #spn #castiel #dean winchester #destiel #deancas #misha collins #jensen ackles #spn crack #spn 15x18 #despair

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meduseld · 2 months

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Hey btw Bookshop.org is running their annual "fuck Prime" sale, all shipping is free, more booksellers see more money, and if you spend $100+ on an order you get a tote bag.

So. Go buy books

#They have other sales and offers and sell stuff beyond books like puzzles and such #enjoy #for the next 9 hours

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lemon-wedges · 3 months

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The last version of this post got nuked by tumblr so i tried cropping it a little more lol. lets see if this one survives

"an unfortunate side affect of sleeping with the king I guess...."

uncropped version on my patreon

#dungeon meshi #kabru #laios touden #labru #honestly a lot is lost if u cant even see him get pounded #but this is all i can offer for now #the art of a lemon wedge

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mangozic · 5 months

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michael distortion what a goofy guy

#still experimenting with his design but i think i might be onto something #he’ll probably change in the future but for now there’s the boy #rattles him around in a jar #i have nothing more to offer but sketches #this week has really been kicking my ass #doodling tma to keep myself sane at this point #the magnus archives #tma #michael distortion #fanart #tma fanart #my art #digital art #doodle #sketch

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brettmeow · 1 year

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I heard the entire gomens fandom was on tumblr

#i come bearing offerings #old offerings #more to come #good omens #aziracrow #good omens fanart

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melimelotus · 7 months

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#pokemon #togetic #art #fanart #pokemonfanart #recently ive been enjoying drawing togetic like that #i had a moment of “hehe it looks like that bird in snoopy” while sketching some #i didnt expect so many people to pick up on that as well #so. i humbly offer more #myart #i wanted to draw another pokemon as snoopy but i cant find a good one #ampharos was a good candidate because the body shape is close and its the same generation #but its design has a bit too many details #quilava?....

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brainrotcharacters · 8 days

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wade's undiagnosed ADHD (giggling everytime Logan stabs him) is only ever matched by Logan's undiagnosed autism (stabbing Wade with his claws when he's overstimulated)

#its physical stimuli with these two #Wade could be in the depths of despair. the absolute throes of tragedy. and always he'll feel better when logan distracts him.#logan will only ever ground himself subconsciously and/or consciously by stabbing wade up to his knuckles #deadpool and wolverine #deadpool #wolverine #deadpool 3 #logan howlett #wade wilson #poolverine #deadclaws #deadpool 2024 #poolverine is neurodivergent #QUEER and neurodivergent #normal things in the ketchup and mustard household include but are not limited to:#wade offering the other side of his body after logan stabbed one side #logan clawing at wade's arm when he's noticed wade beginning to spiral #wade reeling for a second as he is grounded back to reality. then he laughs. and shoots logan in the ear.#i need every other superhero witnessing this to be so confused and so horrified #they're traumatized and horrendous in their own right but they're basic baby shit compared to deadclaws #I NEED IT

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onenicebugperday · 3 months

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Giant antlion larva and adult, Palpares immensus, Myrmeleontidae

Found in southern Africa

Photos 1-2 by alexdreyer, 3-5 by hamishrobertson, 6 by frankgaude, and 7 by eugenemarais

#animals #curators on tumblr #insects #bugs #neuroptera #antlion #larva #giant antlion #one nice bug #may i offer you a big fuckin guy in these trying times

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