#[ but god is he so happy when his partner is happy ]
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I LOVED YOU FIRST PT2 | FC43
part one
an: not even gonna leave an an, i always had a part two lol
wc: 5.2k
Franco found out she was dating Angelo via an Instagram story. A fucking Instagram story.
But that was almost three years ago now, and Franco tried to let it go, god did he try. He was getting married now, after all. He had to forget about what could have been.
The engagement ring on his finger felt heavier than it should. Not because he hadn’t once thought it was right—he had. Or maybe he just convinced himself it was right. They’d been together for four years, maybe more, he stopped counting. She was beautiful, poised, easy to love, easy to fit into his world. That’s what he’d told himself, anyway.
But now, standing in the grand suite of the London hotel they’d rented for the weekend, Franco stared out the window at the city below, watching the lights flicker in the distance. He hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that something was missing. Not that he had any right to be questioning it. After all, he was about to get married, wasn’t he?
The last three years had been a blur of wins, podiums, and post-race parties. Formula 1 had been a dream realised, his face plastered across billboards in every country, every magazine with his name next to the headlines. He’d travelled the world, earned millions, lived a life many envied. But somewhere along the way, his heart had wandered.
And the truth was, despite the glamour, despite the fame, the money, he couldn’t shake the thought of her. The way she’d looked when she told him she loved him first. The way her eyes had glistened with unshed tears that night in Monza—before she left for good. The way she’d walked away, no longer the girl he took for granted. It was like he could still see her disappearing down the hallway of the hotel, leaving him behind, a shadow in her past.
What if I had chosen her?
He thought about that too often. But it was too late. She was gone. She’d moved on with Angelo, the guy who was everything Franco wasn’t—steady, grounded, someone who could give her a love that wasn’t tied to racing, fame, or endless, mind-numbing travel. And that fucking Instagram story—her laughing, the two of them in a café in Buenos Aires, arms around each other, looking so effortlessly happy—had been the final blow.
That was the last straw.
And now, three years later, here he was—about to get married, with the wrong person. He should have been thrilled, but something about it gnawed at him, like he was suffocating in a life that wasn’t his own. She was everything he thought he wanted. She’d followed him to every race, always the perfect girlfriend, the perfect partner. But the truth was, he wasn’t sure he loved her anymore. He wasn’t sure he ever had.
She had been the easy option. She fit into the world he’d built for himself—the shiny, public life, the world of sponsorships and media appearances. She had the right background, the right education, the right looks. She was what was expected of him. What people saw when they looked at a successful F1 driver: the perfect match, the ideal woman.
But the reality was that whenever he closed his eyes, he saw someone else. He saw her. The girl from that small village in Argentina, the one who’d loved him first and probably would, even when he didn’t deserve it. Even when he hadn’t been able to see it for what it was.
He hadn’t thought about her for a while—not in the sense that would make him ache, not the way he used to. He’d buried that pain under the chaos of the last few years. But it was like a low hum in the back of his mind. Every time he saw Angelo’s name pop up, or when he’d hear a new story about her from people back home, he couldn’t help but wonder how her life had turned out. Was she happy? Was she still with Angelo? Was she finally over him?
He could only imagine the life she’d built without him—the kind of life she deserved.
But now, standing on the edge of a new chapter of his life, Franco wondered if he’d ever be able to move on. Because, no matter how many laps he raced, no matter how many trophies he collected, it always came back to her. And now, with his wedding on the horizon, he couldn’t help but ask himself: What the hell had he been doing this whole time?
His phone buzzed on the table, snapping him back to the moment. His fiancée. A text: “Hey, I made reservations for dinner tonight!”
He sighed and stared at the screen of his phone, fingers hovering over the keyboard.
He knew he shouldn’t, it was ridiculous. It was stupid. He had no right to send her an invitation, not after everything. He hadn’t heard from her in so long, hadn’t even thought about reaching out beyond those painful Instagram stories and the passing updates from mutual friends.
But, for some reason, there he was—typing out an invitation to his wedding.
It’s the right thing to do, he told himself. She was a part of his past. She had been the first person to love him unconditionally. They’d spent too many years growing up together not to extend an olive branch. Besides, she had a life now, a life without him. Maybe it was selfish to think she would even want to come, but maybe, just maybe, she deserved to know. She deserved to hear it from him, the way things had turned out.
He hit “send” before he could overthink it any more. The words felt hollow as they left his phone, but there was no going back now.
It was a quiet afternoon in Buenos Aires. The sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon, casting a soft, golden light through the windows of their apartment. She and Angelo had just finished dinner—nothing fancy, just pasta and wine—and now she was curled up on the couch with a book in her lap, one of the many cosy rituals they had settled into over the past couple of years.
Her phone buzzed on the coffee table. She glanced at it, seeing a notification from her email app. The subject line made her pause.
Wedding Invitation: Franco Colapinto.
She blinked, feeling her chest tighten before she even opened it. It had been so long since she’d thought about him—since Monza, really. It was a chapter of her life that had closed the moment she walked away. But the sight of his name brought it all rushing back. The summers spent racing bikes down dirt roads, his smile so effortless, so wide. The way he’d looked at her before everything changed.
Slowly, she opened the email, feeling a strange mixture of nostalgia and disbelief.
I hope this message finds you well. It’s been a while since we last spoke, but I wanted to reach out and invite you to something important. I’m getting married in three months' time, and I wanted to personally invite you to be a part of the day. It wouldn’t feel right without including you.
I understand if you’re unable to come, but I thought it was important to extend the invitation.
I hope everything is going well in your life.
All the best,
Fran
She stared at the message for what felt like an eternity, the words swimming in her mind. There were so many things she could have said, but the only thing she could focus on was the feeling of her heart, beating a little faster than it should. A soft ache settled in her chest.
Three years had passed. She had moved on, found a life she was proud of—one that was stable and calm, filled with love from Angelo, whose steady hand had never wavered, who had been everything Franco couldn’t be. She had built a future, and it was more than she had ever expected for herself.
And yet, the invitation sat there, a reminder of what had been. Of the boy she had loved, the boy who had never truly seen her. Of the boy who she had walked away from.
She set the phone down for a moment, leaning back against the couch. Angelo’s gentle snoring filled the living room from the slightly ajar door, a quiet reminder of the life they had made together—together, with no ghosts of the past lingering between them. But even as she sat there, she could feel the sting of Franco’s message, the painful reminder of how much had been left unsaid.
She thought about the wedding. How strange it felt to be invited to something so intimate, something so final. It was a life she would never be a part of. A life that wasn’t hers to claim, never was. But part of her, deep down, still wondered what had happened. Was he happy? Was this really the life he wanted? Or was this just another easy option for him? Another decision made out of convenience?
Why am I even asking myself this?
She shook her head, her lips curling into a rueful smile. She knew she didn’t want to go. There was no reason to go back to that part of her life, not now. Not when everything she had built with Angelo was exactly where it needed to be.
The following morning, the soft clink of Angelo’s keys echoed through their small kitchen as he got his things ready for work. He was already dressed in his crisp suit, his tie neatly adjusted, preparing for another day at the law firm. She, on the other hand, was in her scrubs, packing her bag for her shift at the hospital.
She was tying her trainers when she saw him glance at her, his eyes focused on his phone.
“Hey,” he said, his voice casual but tinged with curiosity. “You seem a little quiet this morning.”
She shrugged, setting her bag down on the counter. “I’m fine. Just tired, I guess.”
It was only a half-lie. She had hardly slept last night after receiving Franco’s invitation. The words had stuck with her, gnawing at her thoughts, replaying in her mind like a loop she couldn’t escape.
“What’s up?” Angelo asked, watching her intently, his brow furrowing slightly.
She hesitated, then sighed and reached for her phone, pulling up the email Franco had sent her. She handed it to him without a word.
Angelo read it in silence, his eyes scanning the screen. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him. She wasn’t sure what to expect, but somehow, she already knew that he would have an opinion on it.
Finally, he set the phone down and looked at her, his expression unreadable for a moment. “He’s getting married, huh? I didn;’t believe it when I saw it on the news.” he said softly.
“Yeah,” she replied quietly, as if the words themselves felt like an admission. “I guess he thought I should know.”
“You’re not planning on going, are you?” Angelo asked, his voice laced with concern.
She shook her head, biting her lip. “He’s my past now. It doesn’t matter. It’s… it’s not something I need to revisit.”
Angelo nodded, his eyes softening as he stepped closer, brushing a strand of hair from her face. He knew how much Franco had meant to her—how he had once been the centre of her world. But that was years ago. And he had never once doubted that she was now his world.
“I haven’t seen Franco since we were sixteen,” Angelo said, his tone thoughtful. “I know things between you and him ended... well, the way they did. But maybe it might be good to go. For closure. For you, if nothing else.”
She met his eyes, her gaze wavering. “Closure?” she repeated, almost incredulously. “I don’t need closure, Angelo. I moved on a long time ago.”
“I know,” Angelo said, his voice gentle but firm. “But I think sometimes it’s easy to say we’ve moved on, that we’re over things. But there are pieces of our past that stick with us, no matter how much time passes. Maybe seeing him—seeing that life—will help you put the final chapter behind you. Don’t you think?”
She was quiet for a long moment, turning the idea over in her head. It made sense, in a way. The past had never quite been put to rest, even if she had buried it deep. Maybe it wasn’t about Franco anymore. Maybe it was about facing what had happened, about finding peace with it, once and for all.
“I don’t know,” she murmured, shaking her head. “I don’t want it to mess with what we have, Angelo. I don’t want to go and be reminded of something that doesn’t exist anymore.”
Angelo smiled softly, taking her hand in his. “It won’t. I promise. You’re the one I want, mi amor You’re the one who matters. Whatever happened back then, whatever Franco was, that’s not us. It’s not our life. But if this is something you think you need to do, then I’ll be there with you. I want you to have the closure you need.”
She felt a warmth spread through her chest at his words. Angelo had always been like that—steady, understanding, and so patient with her. He never pushed her to forget, but he also didn’t hold her to the past. He was the one who made her feel safe, who built her the life she was proud of, and the thought of him beside her through whatever this was made her feel like she could take on anything.
With a slow, hesitant breath, she met his eyes. “You’re right. Maybe it would be good to go. I don’t know what I’ll feel when I see him, but I think... I think I can handle it now.”
Angelo smiled, squeezing her hand. “Then we’ll go. Together.”
She nodded, feeling a weight lift from her shoulders. The decision was made, and it was time to let go of the last remnants of the past. Franco and his life—whatever that was now—could stay in the past, but she wouldn’t be running from it anymore.
“Thanks,” she whispered, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. “For always being here.”
“Always,” Angelo replied, his voice warm. “Now go. You don’t want to be late for your shift.”
She smiled at him one last time before grabbing her bag and heading for the door. The wedding was still months away, but somehow, her world felt just a little bit more at peace now.
Three months later
The morning of the wedding, the soft rays of the sun filtered through the curtains of their hotel suite, casting a warm, golden glow across the room.
She stood in front of the mirror, smoothing down the fabric of her dress as Angelo adjusted his cufflinks in the reflection behind her. The air was filled with a quiet sense of anticipation. It had been a few months since she agreed to come to the wedding, and now, standing in this luxurious hotel in the heart of the Mediterranean, she could feel the surrealness of it all.
She was here. With him. With Angelo.
He caught her gaze in the mirror, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “You look beautiful,” he said, his voice tender.
She smiled back, her heart swelling with a quiet joy. Angelo was always so calm, so steady, and he knew exactly how to make her feel loved without needing to say much. The simple moments like this were the ones that made her certain that their life together, their future, was the right one.
“Thank you,” she said, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. He was perfect in every way. “You look handsome, as usual,” she added with a smile.
He chuckled softly. “I try,” he teased, adjusting the hem of his suit jacket before stepping forward to take her hand. “Are you ready for this? I know it’s been a long time coming.”
She nodded, squeezing his hand. “Yeah. I’m ready. It’s just… it’s strange. You know? We’re not the same people we were three years ago. And I feel like I’m finally letting go of that past. I just need to do it, for me. And for us.”
“Whatever you need, you have it,” Angelo said, his voice unwavering, filled with a quiet strength.
She smiled at him, grateful for his support. They had come so far, and no matter what happened today, she knew she was in the right place.
“I’m going to step outside for a second,” she said, pulling away from him gently. “I’m going to grab a photo of the schedule. I’ll be right back.”
“Take your time,” Angelo replied, watching her with those warm, reassuring eyes.
She stepped into the corridor of the hotel, her heels clicking against the polished floor. She pulled out her phone, navigating to the event details to snap a photo of the ceremony’s schedule. The hallway was quiet, save for the distant chatter of guests below and the hum of preparations for the wedding in the distance. The excitement was palpable in the air, but in this moment, everything felt calm.
That was until she heard the faint sound of footsteps approaching from behind.
She turned around, feeling her heart give a small, unexpected jolt when she saw him.
Franco.
He was standing there, half-dressed in a black tuxedo with his shirt untucked, sleeves rolled up, his tie still loose around his neck. He looked just like he did three years ago—handsome, dishevelled in the way that made him seem effortlessly charming.
Her stomach tightened.
“You came,” he said, his voice soft with surprise.
She stood there for a moment, unsure of what to say, before forcing a calm smile. “I said I would,” she replied evenly. Her heart beat just a little faster, but she kept her expression neutral.
He looked at her, his gaze a little more intense than she remembered, and she couldn’t quite place the mix of emotions flickering in his eyes. There was something unspoken there, something she hadn’t expected.
“I didn’t think you’d follow through,” he added, a hint of disbelief in his voice.
She didn’t know what to make of that. She shrugged. “I thought I’d at least be polite.”
A silence stretched between them, uncomfortable and thick with everything that had been left unsaid over the years. Franco’s gaze drifted toward the floor for a moment before he looked back up at her, his jaw tense, and his voice was almost pleading when he spoke.
“Can we talk?” he asked, his words hesitant.
She hesitated, feeling her pulse quicken. She didn’t want this. Didn’t want to go back to the past—didn’t want to open that door again.
“I’d rather not,” she said, her tone firm, though her heart was beating harder than she cared to admit.
Franco’s expression softened. “It’s been three years. Three years overdue, don’t you think?”
She closed her eyes for a moment, breathing in deeply, the weight of everything hanging between them. She didn’t owe him anything, and yet, a part of her—perhaps the part that had loved him—knew there was still something lingering. Something that she hadn’t been able to shake off.
She finally gave a soft sigh, one that carried all the weariness of the years that had passed. “Fine,” she said quietly, her shoulders sagging slightly in resignation. “But just for a minute. I don’t have time to rehash everything.”
“Thank you,” Franco murmured, stepping forward as he gestured down the hallway. “My room’s just down here. I won’t keep you long.”
They walked down the corridor in silence, the weight of the moment sinking in. She wasn’t sure what she expected from this conversation, but she knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Not for either of them. When they reached his room, Franco opened the door and stepped aside to let her in.
It was a modest suite, far removed from the lavish ceremony unfolding just downstairs. The quiet of the room seemed to accentuate the tension between them. He closed the door behind them, his movements slow and deliberate.
“Can I get you anything?” he asked, his voice distant as he turned to face her. “Water? A drink?”
She shook her head. “I’m fine.”
There was a long pause. He ran a hand through his hair, clearly nervous. For the first time in a long while, he seemed uncertain.
“So…” Franco began, taking a breath, “I guess this is awkward, huh?”
“Yeah,” she replied, her voice steady, but her insides were churning. “A little.”
Before she even had a chance to settle with what she was doing, he shot her straight to the heart with the words that came out of his mouth.
“I never meant to hurt you,” he said, his voice quiet. “I know I did, but that wasn’t ever my intention. You were always there for me, and I should’ve done better. I should’ve realised…”
Franco ran a hand through his hair, a nervous gesture that was all too familiar. He seemed to be gathering the courage to say something, but when he spoke, his words were not what she expected.
“I should’ve told you,” he started, voice low, almost regretful. “I should have told you that I loved you.”
She blinked, her chest tightening as she took in the weight of his words. “Don’t,” she said quickly, cutting him off. Her voice was sharp, a defence mechanism against the rawness he was trying to expose. “You can’t do that. You can’t come here and say things like that after all this time. It’s... it’s mean.”
Franco’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t back down. “I should’ve told you,” he repeated, his voice thick with something she couldn’t quite place—guilt, perhaps? Regret?
She shook her head, unable to stop herself from responding. “Why are you still with her, then?” Her voice trembled slightly, the question feeling more like a challenge than a simple inquiry. She thought of how excited she must be right now getting ready, while he was confessing his love to his childhood best friend. She wondered whether she knew.
He didn’t answer right away, and when he did, his eyes flickered away, as though he was ashamed of the truth he was about to speak. “It’s easier to pretend to love her,” he admitted, his voice flat. “It’s easier than facing the truth.”
“Than what?” she asked, her words cutting through the air, her eyes locking onto his. “Than admitting you love me?”
The silence that followed was deafening. Franco’s eyes darkened, and he stepped closer, a hesitation lingering between them. He opened his mouth, but instead of speaking, he exhaled deeply, as if trying to gather the strength to continue.
“You don’t understand,” he said softly, voice barely above a whisper. “I was scared. I didn’t know how to handle what I was feeling. I still don’t.”
She looked at him, biting her lip, trying to keep herself from breaking. “You can’t do this,” she said, her voice cracking with frustration. “You don’t get to walk back into my life now and make me feel like I was some... some second choice. You don’t get to say things that undo everything we went through.”
Franco’s gaze darkened, but his next words were even more dangerous. “Say it, and I’ll leave her,” he said, his voice low and intense, as if he were testing her. “Say you want me the same way you wanted me three summers ago, and I’ll do it. I’ll walk away from her. I’ll choose you.”
Her breath caught in her throat, her heart stuttering in her chest. The temptation was there—familiar, painful, and so very dangerous. She could feel that old longing tug at her, the part of her that had loved him so fiercely, so deeply. But this wasn’t that girl anymore. She wasn’t the girl who would wait around for him to realise what he’d lost.
“I can’t,” she whispered, feeling tears prick the corners of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. “I can’t do that anymore. I’m happy now. I’m happy with Angelo.”
The words felt heavy on her tongue, and for a moment, it felt like she had to convince herself of them. But as she looked into Franco’s eyes—still searching, still wanting—she realised that she meant it. She really did.
Franco’s face fell, his expression a mixture of frustration and defeat. “You don’t understand,” he said again, the words sounding more like a plea. “I never stopped loving you.”
She took a step back, shaking her head, trying to clear the emotions that were spiralling inside of her. “No,” she said firmly, her voice resolute. “You don’t get to say that, Franco. Not now. Not when I’ve spent three years getting over all of this. You don’t get to come here and break my heart all over again.”
For a long moment, they stood there, the space between them filled with unspoken words and unresolved tension. But it was over. It had to be.
“I can’t undo what happened,” she added softly, her gaze not leaving his. “But I’m not that girl anymore. And I’m not going to be someone’s second choice.”
Franco didn’t say anything. He just stood there, staring at her as if he was seeing her for the first time. The weight of everything they’d been through hung heavy between them, and it was clear now that nothing could fix it. Not words. Not promises.
She turned to leave, her hand on the doorknob, but before she could step out of the room, she paused, glancing over her shoulder one last time.
“I’m happy now, Fran,” she said quietly, her voice steady despite everything. “And you need to figure out what makes you happy too. But I can’t be part of that anymore.”
She opened the door and stepped out, not looking back, not giving him the chance to say anything more.
The wedding was beautiful.
The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon, casting a golden hue over the guests who had gathered for the wedding. The ceremony was set to take place on the terrace of the luxurious hotel overlooking the sea, the soft sound of waves lapping against the rocks below barely audible amidst the murmur of excited chatter.
She sat there, a few rows back from the front, Angelo by her side. The venue was beautiful—everything that was supposed to be perfect for a wedding. The guests were in their best attire, the flowers were arranged in pristine perfection, and the atmosphere felt like a dream. But something was off. A low hum of anxiety had been building ever since the music started, and she couldn’t shake the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach.
Franco was supposed to be standing at the altar now. But he wasn’t.
She stole a glance at Angelo, who was sitting quietly beside her, a reassuring hand on her knee. He could sense her unease.
“You okay?” he asked softly, his voice almost drowned out by the gentle clinking of glasses and conversations around them.
She nodded, but her eyes drifted nervously toward the aisle. “I don’t know,” she murmured. “Something feels wrong.”
The minutes dragged on. The officiant glanced at his watch, confusion spreading across his face as he leaned over to whisper something to the bridesmaids. There was no sign of Franco, and the guests were beginning to exchange worried glances. The tension in the air became palpable, the excitement of the ceremony suddenly replaced by a growing sense of discomfort.
After a few more minutes, she couldn’t hold it in any longer. She turned to Angelo, her voice barely above a whisper, but her anxiety was thick in her words. “Do you think he’s going to come?”
Angelo squeezed her hand gently, his gaze soft and understanding. “I don’t know, cariño. Maybe something’s happened. He’s probably just... running late.”
But as they exchanged those quiet words, it became clear that it wasn’t just a delay. The guests were shifting in their seats, some starting to murmur under their breath, the ceremony now holding a sense of surreal anticipation.
And then, just as the whispers reached a crescendo, the sound of footsteps echoed from behind. Everyone turned, their heads swivelling as they saw him—Franco. He was walking down the aisle, his face pale, his expression one of guilt and uncertainty. He wasn’t in a rush, though. It was as if he was taking his time, as though he had already made a decision.
The room fell silent as Franco reached the front. He looked out at the gathering of faces—his family, his friends, all of them waiting for the moment when he would say "I do." But he didn’t speak immediately.
He was struggling with the words, and she could feel the weight of the tension from across the room. Her heart raced, confusion and disbelief washing over her as she watched him take a deep breath, his eyes scanning the crowd before finally locking on the bride’s family sitting in the front row.
“Excuse me,” Franco’s voice broke through the silence, shaky but loud enough for everyone to hear. “I’m sorry for the disruption,” he continued, his eyes darting nervously between the bride and the guests. “I... I can’t do this. I can’t marry her.”
The air seemed to stop in that moment. His words hung like an echo, the shock rippling through the crowd. She couldn’t look away, her heart pounding in her chest as Freddie stood there, his face flushed with embarrassment, his hands trembling at his sides.
“I’m sorry, I thought I could,” he went on, his voice quiet but steady, “but I can’t marry her when I love someone else.” His gaze shifted to her, and for a split second, their eyes met. The pain, the regret, the history of everything they had been—it was all there in that single glance. But she didn’t feel anything but exhaustion. It was like watching someone else’s dream unravel.
The guests were murmuring, unsure of how to respond. His bride, stood by the doors he’d just walked in from, ready to walk down the aisle frozen and unmoving. Shelooked like she was about to collapse, her face pale as she took in the words that no one had expected.
“I’m sorry, I just—” Franco continued, his voice breaking, “I can’t do it. I can’t go through with it. I’m sorry. I—I just can’t.”
Without another word, he turned and began to walk away, stepping down from the altar, leaving the bride standing alone, abandoned in front of everyone.
The room was filled with stunned silence.
Angelo reached for her hand, squeezing it gently as the reality of what had just unfolded sank in. She didn’t know how to feel—didn’t know what to think. Her chest ached with a strange mixture of relief and guilt, but most of all, there was a numbness that began to set in.
And then, just as quickly as Franco had walked away, he was gone, disappearing behind the closed doors of the venue, leaving a trail of shock in his wake. The ceremony was over before it had even begun.
She couldn’t help herself.
The guilt she felt in her stomach was strong.
It was her fault.
the end.
an: actual an, im sorry guys! i was feeling sad so i wrote this muahhah
tags: @obxstiles @charlosvibesonly @zestytimbit @taygrls
#f1#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#formula one x reader#formula one#formula one x y/n#franco colapinto x yn#franco colapinto x you#franco colapinto fanfic#franco colapinto imagine#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto#fc43#fc43 x reader#fc43 x you#fc43 imagine#williams racing formula one#williams formula 1#williams f1#williams racing#williams#formula one x you#formula one imagine#formula one fanfiction#formula 1#ann speaks#ann talks#angsty#angst#franco colapinto angst
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#my little brother is engaged :/#don’t know if any of you remember me posting about the whole situation like 8 months ago but i feel soo weird#and sad because i want to b happy for him but he’s six yrs older than her and she’s 19..#or i guess twenty now maybe whatever i feel so aggh. and he moved to a different country so i just feel like i’m never gonna see him again#like i knew this was coming they’re both super religious so i was like yeah they’re going to want to get married and have kids fast but.#it just feels crazy. i know that’s selfish but i have such a bad gut feeling about it that i can’t shake#but i can’t do anything about it so. idk. i just feel so lonely when things like this happen because i don't have anyone outside of the#family bubble to talk to about it. and obviously everyone else is like super happy for them. and it's not that i don't like her! i just#don't really? know her? at all which feels weird because we are a very close sibling group and i feel like i know & get on with my other#siblings' partners. i think it's partly like i just don't ever hang around people who are under twenty so she feels really young to me#which isn't her fault obviously but. do feel kind of scared for her getting married at twenty so she can start having babies.... idk idk#and obviously on top of that it's my younger brother so it does feel a little salt in the wound that he's moving on with his life and i am#counting it a win these days if i don't want to kms every three minutes#god it just sucks lol and i can't talk about it 2 anyone so i am venting here
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Sometimes I think about the thing where canon Itachi and non-massacre Itachi switch bodies, specifically his interactions with Sasuke if he has an alpha. Like he switches when Sasuke is around 16 or so and he’s being courted. The alpha really likes Sasuke but it’s not obvious to others that Sasuke likes them back because it’s Sasuke. Itachi though can tell Sasuke really likes the alpha and notices how flustered he gets with the alpha.
Imagine how guilty Itachi would feel. How he stole Sasukes life away where he has a loving alpha and he’s clearly so happy with them, even if he has a hard time admitting it. Plus Sasuke and his alpha clearly respect him a lot.
God imagine Sasukes alpha coming up to him and thanking him for the advice he gave them for a date with Sasuke the previous night. Itachi knows he doesn’t deserve the praise but accepts it anyways to not let the alpha know how he’s feeling.
There’s so many interesting things that can be done with canon Itachi switching with the non-massacre version of him.
Yessss, this is amazing!!
I'd never thought about Itachi seeing an older Sasuke, and therefore seeing the life he had robbed him of including a mate and happy home.
It would be so bittersweet to see Sasuke come back from a date all flushed and pleased, hiding a little stuffed toy in his pocket, and pretending not to be as happy as he is. Sasuke's courting partner giving Itachi a nod of respect and a friendly smile.
It really is so interesting to play with switching canon and non massacre Itachi! Thank you for sharing your headcanon! <3
(Also, lowkey I think canon Itachi would give terrible courting advice 😭 'be nice to them and also prematrial sex is illegal remember that')
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some brilliant minds 1x08 thoughts; spoilers within so proceed on your own judgement
those two nerds are so into each other and it's so loud also CAROL IMMEDIATELY CLOCKING THEM
josh like pls don't put me in the middle of your feud but then when oliver leaves he whips his head around like WAIT I DIDN'T MEAN GO THOUGH
"I am sorry to report that you have... a twinkle in your eyes" ANGEL
I know it's not the time or whatever but muriel is so hot
carol get behind me I will protect you
at this point their little last name thing is basically foreplay and the way we will get them saying each others first names in a moment of extreme intimacy I'm so ready
"when we're tog- when we're on a case together I need open channels of communication"
THESE NERDS ARE SO FUCKING HORNY FOR EACH OTHER
they are frantic in a way that tells me the sex is fucking feral
this lady's sons SUCK also yes jacob you stand up for that woman's sex positivity
this lunch date has everything. giggling. genuine admiration. nerding out together. roasting. flirting.
heartbeats being the romantic soundtrack to this episode is A Lot
carol get behind me and dana we will protect you
josh trying to impress oliver with his military man intimidation tactics AND IT WORKS?
also they are 100% that couple that just looks at each other a little too long or flirts a little too close to the sun and then suddenly they're trying to eat each other in a room full of people
CAROL GET BEHIND ME DANA AND OLIVER WE WILL PROTECT YOU
"I don't want that for you" with tears in his eyes my god i love them
"just don't hurt him" and you can see josh start to panic like oh god I will and I don't even think he cares about how awkward it would be professionally but he cares about oliver and he feels it in that moment that oliver's heart is something special, oliver is something special and for anyone else this could be casual but he knows for them it's not
josh DEVASTATED that oliver let it go without a fight. he wanted to walk in there and be told in no uncertain terms that he was being ridiculous. he wanted oliver to call him on his bullshit, to get under his skin the way only he can. and the one time he finally concedes, defers, even though it's obvious that he's just going along and josh hates it and he wants to take it all back so bad
CAROL NOOOOOOO
dana giving june a sex toy just incredible and I love her so much
old people throuple diversity win
I didn't need protection, I needed LOVE. and he's talking about after his dad died but he's also talking about now. he's also talking about how happy he is with josh and how they could love each other if they let themselves
I just know sex with van is INSANE imagine the giver that man is when he can also feel the pleasure his partner is feeling
our odds are 60/40 but you've proven me wrong before. and heartbeats fading in. and someone is choosing oliver even though it won't be easy, and pain is inevitable but so is joy and this could be it and they both know it
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where we left off | will lamontagne [part one]
summary: after a messy divorce, will comes back to new orleans and comes straight to you - because there's nobody else he'd rather go to when his life is falling apart.
a/n: will come back the wife (me) and kids miss you :')
enjoy the fic, and have a fantastic day! <3 requests are open!
note(s): gn!reader & no pronouns used, little terms of endearment (sugar, darlin', etc.), reader and will obviously have accents but i'm not the best at writing them so you'll have to imagine, reader really doesn't like jj (i'm sorry)
word count: 1,773
You and Will been partners for years. You’d been best friends for years. You knew each other better than anyone else did.
At least, that was until JJ came along.
The BAU had been assisting with a case in New Orleans, and it had become very obvious very quickly that JJ and Will had become rather smitten with each other. You’d found them having a drink together in the bar during the case, and that look in Will’s eyes was one that you’d had in yours for years.
And you, with your secret little crush, were devastated.
After Will left the department and moved to Virginia to marry JJ, you lost contact. Sure, there was the occasional message sent between the two of you, but it had been so long since you’d seen him. Perhaps it was for the best, though. It hurt far too much knowing that the man you loved unconditionally was married to another woman.
Quite honestly, you never thought you’d see him again, so it was a complete shock when he appeared at the New Orleans Police Department one random Tuesday morning. And, judging from the stuffy nose, red-rimmed eyes, and downright sour expression on his face, he wasn’t doing too good.
“Will?!”
Seeing him standing at the door to your office almost felt like some sort of fever dream.
It had been seven years since he’d moved to Virginia to live with JJ. You couldn’t think about that thought for too long, though. It hurt a little too much.
You got up from your desk, and after throwing all professionalism out of the window, you practically threw yourself at Will with a squeal of pure excitement, “You’re back! Oh my God, you’re actually back!”
There was a small oof sound as you threw yourself at Will, and then his surprised expression was quickly replaced by that familiar smile that you’d grown so attached to. The one that he’d only give when he was truly happy, “Well, I’ll be damned,” he chuckled, picking you up with ease and spinning you around in a small circle before setting you back down on your feet, “Damn, I missed you.”
“I missed you, too,” your response was immediate. Seven long years with barely any contact between the two of you. It wasn’t hard to admit that you’d missed him more than anything in the entire world, “It’s so good to see you. I didn’t think you’d ever come back to New Orleans.”
At that, Will’s smile dimmed slightly, and you could’ve sworn that you saw a flash of something akin to guilt in his eyes. Out of habit, one that you’d picked up years ago, you quickly glanced down at his left hand.
His wedding ring was gone.
There was a heavy silence before he answered, and when he did, his voice was quiet, “Things change, sugar.”
Sugar. You loved that nickname. He’d called you it once when you’d both been a little bit too inebriated at a Christmas party a couple of years ago when you were relatively new to the NOPD. Since then, it had stuck around, and it made your heart do strange little flips inside your chest whenever he said it so casually.
“Yeah,” you tore your eyes up from his wedding ring-less finger to meet his eyes. It was only then that you could see the lingering hints of sadness hidden in them, with the tiniest hints of resignation and anger, too, “Things change.”
You’d never wanted to pry into someone’s personal life so badly in your entire life. But, out of respect for him, you didn’t. At least, not in a way that was as forward as you would’ve liked, “How are you doing? Cause, I’ll be honest, you look like shit.”
Will let out a low chuckle at that, and you could’ve sworn that the corners of his lips turned up a little crooked grin that you knew and loved, “You’re the only one who can say I look like shit and get away with it,” that grin on his lips faded slightly, and he ran a hand through his hair as his expression became more somber, “Not exactly been the best few days, sugar.”
You hummed in response to that, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet slightly as you pursed your lips in thought. Clearly, you weren’t going to get any more out of him, “Well, that’s no good,” and then, a hint of a smile tugged at your lips, “C’mon. You’re coming for a drink with me.”
That pulled an exasperated laugh from Will’s lips, “Of course, that’s your solution.”
“Oh, c’mon, Will. You know me. I’ll never pass up the opportunity for a good drink,” you gave him a gentle shove as you turned on your heel and headed back to your desk, “I’ll finish up, and we’ll go, hm?”
Will laughed at that. You hadn’t realized until that moment how much you’d missed his laugh, “Fine, I’m in,” he ran a hand through his unkept hair, and smiled at you, “You’re very convincing, sugar.”
You snorted at that, “It’s really not that hard to convince you of anything.”
ꨄ︎
“So, what,” you rested your chin in the palm of one hand, and you held your drink tightly with the other, “She loved him all along?!”
Will took a sip of his own drink, his eyes averting from yours as if he was ashamed. That broke your heart, “Pretty much.”
It really hadn’t taken much convincing to get Will to tell you about everything that had been going on in his life. As soon as you’d taken your usual seats at the bar, he’d practically started talking your ear off. You hadn’t even gotten a whiskey in him by that point.
“Jesus,” you clicked your tongue against your teeth, “She’s been in love with Spencer this whole time?! I always knew she was a…” you were cut off when Will shot you a half amused/half exasperated glance, “Sorry. Just… God, I’m sorry, Will.”
Will chuckled at that, and the sadness behind it was brutal, “There ain’t much I can do about it now, is there?” he took another slow sip of his drink, and he sighed heavily, “Seven years straight down the drain.”
You hummed in response to that, fingertips tapping against your glass, “I don't get it. They've worked together for years. Why didn't she say anything before?”
Will scoffed at that, “There was this whole thing with an unsub, and she says he forced her to say it, but,” he shook his head, and it was only then that you noticed his hand clenched into a tight fist in his lap, “It's the principle. If she kept this from me, then what else did she keep from me? Are the kids even mine? I…”
“Woah. Hey. No,” you grabbed Will's hand, unfurling it so he wasn't digging his nails into his palm, though you tutted at the crescent shaped marks already left on his skin, “You'll spiral if you keep talking like that, Will. You can't afford to spiral.”
Will gave another one of those snorts, but it was a bit less bitter this time, “I'm already spirallin’, sugar,” he shifted his hand slightly so he was holding yours, “I thought we could make it work. We tried for months, but there was always this voice in the back of my head,” he took another sip of his drink, a much longer one this time, “She said she wasn't hidin’ anything else, but…”
“You don't have to explain yourself to me, Will,” despite how much you wanted to know the details, you could tell how much it hurt him to talk about it.
“No, I want to,” Will shot you a look, and he gave your hand the slightest squeeze, “You're the only one I feel like I can trust right now.”
Admittedly, that filled you with so much pride and warmth. He trusted you. You knew that he did, but hearing it made you feel even better, “Is that why you came back? Because of me?”
You hadn't meant to say that, but the words came out of your mouth before you could stop them, and you very quickly realized how desperate it sounded.
Will scoffed out a laugh at that, but it was a much more cheerful one than you'd heard previously, “As good of a reason as any,” he let go of your hand to reach into his pocket, “Couldn't bring myself to get rid of the ring.”
You stared at the wedding ring as he placed it on the bar, and that was the first time that you actually felt emotional about the entire situation. All for Will's benefit, of course, “Oh, Will…”
He cleared his throat, and that was the first time you noticed that he was teary-eyed, “Like I said. There ain’t much I can do about it now.”
For a long moment, there was a stretch of silence. It wasn't uncomfortable, though. You and Will could happily coexist without words. But then, after finishing his drink, Will turned to face you properly, “I was wonderin’ if…” he almost looked embarrassed, “If you've still got that spare room in your apartment.”
You quirked an eyebrow at that, and the smallest of smirks tugged at the corner of your lips, “I might do.”
There was another pause. It was as if Will was waiting for you to finish his thought. When you didn't, he grumbled, but there was a hint of a smile on his face, “Don't make me sound desperate, sugar.
You laughed at that. You did want to tease him a little, if for no other reason than to make things feel a little more normal, but you couldn't take that look on his face, “Yeah, Will. You can stay with me.”
Will let out a small breath, seemingly out of relief, “Thanks,” he gave you a small smile, one that suited him much more than the sullen expression, “I owe you one.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” you gently shoved his shoulder as you downed the rest of your drink, “You say that every time.”
After seven years, a part of you thought that you'd gotten over your unrequited crush on Will, even though there was a part of you that knew you probably never would. Now, though, having Will back with you felt like some kind of dream.
Selfishly, as you and Will left the bar and climbed into a cab, there was only one thought running through your mind: this was JJ's loss and your gain.
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds x reader#will lamontagne#will lamontagne fanfic#will lamontagne imagine#will lamontagne x reader#x reader
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i know i've talked about it before but god. when house and chase are alone together their vibe is just.
chase is usually deeply and pretty happily subservient to house. he's the boss/mentor, chase is the underling. where cameron and foreman both push to be house's equal, chase really never does: he's happy to follow along. but then you get them alone. every now and then chase just strolls in and reveals he can see through house perfectly, and house … never really gets offended or annoyed by this. he's pretty indulgent. he even enjoys it. "sometimes i forget why i hired you," he says, pleased.
in the jerk chase calls him out for cancelling foreman's interview. unlike when foreman did the same, house admits it, clearly pleased to be caught. chase offers him advice:
CHASE: You cost him a good opportunity and gained nothing. HOUSE: I cost him a crappy opportunity. New York Mercy's where you go to treat boils and cysts and build a 401K. CHASE: If you want him to stay, tell him. HOUSE: I don't and there'd be no point. CHASE: You do. And the point would be to make him feel like he's wanted. HOUSE: He doesn't need that. CHASE: All right, then. It'd make him feel like maybe you weren't evil. He needs that. Talk to Foreman.
he gives him orders. and house doesn't push back, doesn't dismiss chase for trying to lecture him, answers honestly.
in human error, they actually briefly continue this conversation; chase's frustration at house not taking his advice leads to his outburst that leads to his firing. (not that house fired him for getting involved or nosy.)
and then no more mr nice guy comes around, and they go bowling. first of all: this is the only time in the series house has ever invited anyone who is not named wilson out without it being a bet or a bribe. he really needed a bowling partner and went chase. but the same thing happens.
CHASE: So what are you going to do to screw up Wilson's relationship so you don't have to listen to me while you bowl? HOUSE: I wish the best for them and their tragically deformed children. CHASE: Well, she's good… At being bad. You might not be able to destroy her. HOUSE: Well as long as I give it my best shot, I can hold my head high. CHASE: Cameron had this one insufferable friend. She wasn't going to get rid of her and I sure wasn't going to join them, so I just said, see her on Thursday's. I know it's not as exciting as an exploding birthday cake, but, hell, I don't want to hang out with her every night anyway. HOUSE: That's amazing. Cameron only has one insufferable friend?
(insufferable friend you will always be a legend) chase just! jumps in! gives advice! completely casually, like it's nothing, house not blowing him off or dismissing what he says. later in the episode, he takes this advice and tries to work out joint custody with amber.
it isn't that house never takes other people's advice. he quite commonly solicits opinions. cameron and foreman have also both offered house their takes, and he's sometimes even listened. but usually he's dismissive. he's sarcastic. he doesn't have a conversation about it, he listens and does what he wants. chase can just stroll in and say stuff and house engages.
and of course there's my favorite example of all, from the social contract, when house needs a surgery done:
CHASE: You want me to help you? Tell me why. HOUSE: Why what? CHASE: Why you care. The puzzle's solved. The guy's alive. And the odds of coming out of this surgery with that same status aren't that great. HOUSE: My patient has a quality of life issue. CHASE: He says awful things. Hardly a medical condition. HOUSE: When he leaves here, he's going to lose his family. He's gonna alienate the people he works with. And if he ever finds a friend who's willing to put up with his crap, he'll be lucky. Until he drives them away too. CHASE: …I'll see what I can do.
he gets the truth. house all but says i identify with this person, i want the surgery done for me. chase doesn't ask questions, he gets it. but also he asks house why, and he gets an answer. no bullshit, no evasion.
we've all joked about how chase gets house, but it's like. he really does. he's incredibly observant, he's good at reading people, it's why house hired him. but he also doesn't… push. he doesn't use this ability to push house. he's not constantly trying to poke and prod and fix and understand house (because he kind of already does), but in return it means chase can jump in and just say stuff. because he doesn't make demands, because he doesn't ask anything of house, the few times he does, house tends to respond honestly in return. it makes me. insane
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moth-flowers #17
#moth-flowers#my art#comics#autobio comics#Its a little crummy but im glad i made something. and actually posted it!#depression#Our neighbors r pretty cool. talking with the husband makes me happy cos he's just a chill dude and i think he's kinda like me?#Like he was cleaning out his car one time and he said it just takes him longer than most people bc he's kinda slow. and i had a moment of#like. recognition. I get things done but i just take a lot longer than other people and i dont really know why its just how i am#And he's like. a real adult. with a partner and kids and a house and a job. and if he can make it then maybe ill be okay too.#Also I like listening to him talk he has a very interesting cadence and overall soothing voice quality#Also the sleep schedule thing. Right now I've been feeling my best when i take a 2ish hour nap when i get home. I usually dont go to sleep#Until 12pm regardless and good god has the nap been helping me. I feel less like shit and more alert its so great#My dad keeps giving me shit about it. but fuck it we ball
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also i really shouldn't have written stp because now i have a million ideas for spirit's adventures in new hyrule that I will never have time to actually write :((
#i freely admit that the whole 'spirit met jean at work' thing was an on the fly idea i didn't put much thought into#and then when i was writing stp i impulsively added that bit about jean and linebeck being family friends and you know what? that changes#things. like jean and spirit totally had to have known each other really well before they dated#and that thought has led me down a rabbit hole of thinking about who spirit dated before jean. and i know spirit was a serial dater before#jean (and would try to change his personality to make his partner like him more) but now i have a specific idea about Spirit's horrible#situationship before jean that is making me crazy (hint: spirit pulled a warriors and found someone who reminded him of warriors in the#worst way possible)#and i knew before stp that jean was a very calm person if only to highlight how over it he had to be to dump spirit after 6 months of his#bullshit BUT now that jean feels like a real character i kinda understand how much spirit would have been attracted to jean's stability#and how jean is this caring family guy and how much spirit would both want that stability for himself while feeling so insecure about#not needing to fight jean all the time or not needing to change himself to be someone jean liked that he would pick fights because#spirit is self destructive like hell and if his life and happiness is going to be destroyed no matter what he might as well do it himself#like god. goddamn.#you know the way everyone was obsessed about ickywars after i first brought it up? that's about i feel about jean and spirit#and i'm the only one who cares :)#me rambling#lu ctb
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just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2
#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place#there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end#locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time#to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it#for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay#(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda#but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy#with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed#and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha#he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was#(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person#even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then#(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again
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The idea that Gascoigne and Henryk were hunting partners (presumably with Henryk being Gascoigne's elder and mentor) and that Viola was Henryk's daughter is the funniest shit. Like how do you think that went over.
#bloodborne#father gascoigne#old hunter henryk#bloodborne viola#i do like the idea that it was actually quite poignant. a young gascoigne who'd been slowly falling for viola and her for him#he's terrified to say anything at all to henryk. this man who's taught him so much and been such a wonderful hunting partner alongside him#hes so worried about how it would look#that he's some corrupted man looking to bed his mentor's daughter#but oh. she's become everything to him#and so he puts aside his fear for the sake of tending to the societal sensibility of asking his beloved's father for her hand#and it takes all the courage he can muster.#god not even beasts can make a man tremble like the judgmental eyes of the father of the woman he loves#henryk initially doesn't take to it well#honestly the thoughts gascoigne dreads him thinking probably crop up in a quick rush. but then. he pauses himself.#he considers the sort of man his mentee is#he considers how happy viola seems when gascoigne spends time with the family#he considers his daughter is a lively young adult who'll probably just elope with him anyway if things are made difficult by tradition#he chuckles to himself as he thinks that. and he softens to the idea#if there's anyone his little viola will be happy with. it's this man.#he gives a curt nod and gives his first and only warning#you've got my blessing. but know that if you ever lay a hand on her that isn't loving. i'll have your head.#and so the rest is history. and in that moment all is well. and in that moment these men know not the future they will face.
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“And I always fall hopelessly in love with my skating partners”
Adam telling on himself that he fell hopelessly in love with Tadashi when he was young.
Skating as a ritual of love. Ok.
Come get your man, Tadashi.
#sk8 the infinity#tadaai#kikuchi tadashi#shindo ainosuke#Adam acting like he’s cool and chill and poly when he says he loves all his skating partners boy you are not#you want your one and only eve#and you lost your god damned mind after your heart got broken from your first love omg#he’s so not over it#can’t even be happy skating with others until Langa makes him think of Tadashi GIRL
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So
#I have played and beat superstar saga. against my better judgement.#I am in love with him. madly so. he’s the best#I love him. I love his thing with Luigi. I love how arrogant he is. he’s so much fun.#I am unfathomably angry that this is his only game. what do you mean I might never see him again.#my god what a good character. my god what a good game.#ok I’m normal I’m ok#I’m so happy I picked up superstar saga I’m so happy I got to meet peasley#I’ve played bis and dream team but this is the first one I’ve bothered to beat and I cannot express enough how happy I am that this is the-#-one I beat#I want to play the rest of them in preparation for brothership so. we’ll see when I pick up partners in time#ANYWAY LOOK AT HOW PRETTY PRINCE PEASLEY IS <3#mario bros#Starry speaks#teapot kettle sound. I’m in love with him
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.
#ive been staying up really late recently playing mh with friends and especially with my bf and it's making me so happy#i havent had this much fun with it since ... basically since I played for the first time.#god I really love this game but i have my friends and my partner to thank for really enjoying it again. im really emo about it#and also my partner literally stayed up with me an extra hour yesterday just to hear me talk about it#he said you can hear the love i have for it in my voice. the other day he told me that my eyes shine when i talked about it too#im really fucked up about it like im going to cry about it I tjink but in a good way. you know how it is#and this is his first mh too im so happy he's having a good time with it#[filled with emotions] man.
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i say this with my entire chest. hold hands with your friends!!
#i mean this in the most platonic way possible and no i am not joking or being sarcastic#ive been having. a difficult couple of weeks#and im just. immensely grateful for my best friend because hes just. hes there. through all the bullshit hes There#and i love that we've gotten touchier because god knows we both fucking need it . i dont care if people think we're a couple.#they already think that when we breathe next to each other anyway#i love holding his hand it grounds me#and i dont want to kiss him or date him i just want to be close to him. he means the world to me#ive said it before but i will never understand people who see friends as second to their partner/s#because id do so much for my best friend's happiness. so so much to the best of my ability#hes seen me at my worst hes seen the bad parts of me hes seen me ugly and angry and petty and hes STILL here. he STILL cares about me#ejdjdkdj it makes me so emotional to think about#anyway. hug your friends. hold their hands. life's too short to hold back on affection if you both want it#ryan's screaming
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Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a “panic attack” (this was after months of him talking about how he didn’t like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE
#LANA i know his sister works for you BUT TRUST MY WORD AND GIVE ME A FREE TICKET PLEASE…#MY FIRST TIME SEEING YOU WAS RUINED GIRL… she was so good too like i was saving her songs to spotify that night#im reliving all this because i found out a lot of his exes and ex friends hang out together and two of them invited me so it was me an ex an#d an ex friend just swapping stories and first of all. he said he got cheated on by this girl and she NEVER DID IT (HE would have emotional/#angry outbursts at HER though) (allegedly he’s acknowledged to her that the cheating never happened too) and 2. this is obviously making me#mentally rehash everything again. i feel so bad for his current girlfriend and also for the person i ‘’stole’’ him from though i really hesi#tate to blame myself after hearing about his patterns. first of all he wouldve done this with anyone who was vulnerable around him and secon#d i was the only reason he was at all honest with them. he was fully planning to gaslight this ex and me and his dad had to convince him not#to. they look like theyre happy now and im very happy for them over that. oh my god that man was evil he told me for WEEKS about every time#his then partner had talked shit about me while i made clear that i didnt care and wasnt very interested but he kept going. god i cant belie#ve this was my life a year ago.#the one thing i can say is that i out freaked him because throughout our short relationship i made him so insecure that a week after i told#to never speak to me again he called me asking if he really was ugly.#I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAD TO TEND TO A GROWN MAN WHILE LANA DEL REY WAS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE HE WAS SO OPPOSED TO BEING AROUND HER. LANAAAA#times like these i get so mad i dont know what to do but ultimately remembering that he has not achieved any of his goals because he refuses#to face himself really helps me. god man IVE achieved some of his goals and i wasnt even trying to#a really awful part of all of this was all of the friends who knew him taking his side. because they didnt know him well enough to know what#he was actually like.#i was talking to my ex friend of four years and she was like not to blame you but he was probably really vulnerable from his time with [ex p#rior to me]’’ because he’s been going around alleging that that ex was abusive. and she was implying i took advantage of him. so i had to go#into detail about what an awful awful person he was and the sort of state i was in when this relationship took place. hannah lee you are#not seeing your little jehovah’s witness heaven.#anyways redirecting this energy im very happy with the way my life is and the way i am now. and im grateful for it i would not have ever bee#n able to imagine having the sort of peace and motivation i feel now. life feels like it can and will change for the better and it keeps pro#ving that right all the time#it just hurts sometimes having that as my first experience and not even being able to vocalize what was wrong bc i just didnt know hurts#oh i forgot one of his besties can see my account bc we’re sort of mutuals. i doubt he’s looking he did the whole unfollowing the ex bc she’#s allegedly amoral thing after the breakup but if he is hi isaac#he did on rare occasion show me selfless kindness but ultimately your best friend is a creep. i don’t want to be involved with anyone from#our school but I hope you know this and I hope you’re proud
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hii do you see gojo as a golden retriever boyfriend? and do you think he would be with a feisty/grumpy gf and what that would be like?
yes yes yes!!! he's so golden retriever bf coded so clingy so full of love and so pouty when he's got to be away from his partner~ he'd have so much fun with a fiesty/grumpy s/o i like to think but the question is if they can handle him bc, as we all know, gojo is a notorious menace and will push their buttons to earn a flustered reaction any given day (finds it cute) 😩 why is this so gojohime tho ksjdh anyway!
will use a reference from another anime bc it's literally gojo and fits this dynamic so well 💀
#[ ai—mail ]#but honestly he'd do absolutely anything to make his partner happy :( from expensive gifts to tiny but precious gestures#like texting you throughout the day asking how your day's going or if you ate already and if not he's ready to cancel his appointments#to squeeze a little lunch date into your schedules#pouts when you don't reply quickly and god forbid you don't pick up a call... he will panic and he will come look for you lmao#his clinginess is partly due to the fear of being left again? yk bc he didn't really realize when suguru was falling apart#so it hit him out of the blue then and that's why he's being overly cautious with you sobs#okay STOP this is going elsewhere now
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