#[ because I have more stuff to do today but I'll definitely be online later

[immolatiism]

Yo. Guess who's still alive. It's me!

People are cancelling on me left and right this week so suddenly my schedule is very free. Sound off if you want me to come drop a thing in your inbox! I wanna bug people!

[xhoess]

Fashion and design

Masterlist

Hongjoong!model x fem Bod! Fotographer

Summary: Hongjoong is a model and has his own clothing line, you are his fotographer for the day. When you saw that you got a chance to shoot hongjong you didn't believe it. You have been a fan of his clothing line for a while and are absolutely obsessed with it, but what you don't know is that he has been following your work since that day you started to post your photos.

Genre: romance(?), mature content

Warnings: without protection(wrap it up!!!), hongjoong down bad for you

You where sitting on your bed with your laptop, checking if you have anymore jobs for the next weeks. You see that next week on Wednesday you have a shoot scheduled with the Kim hongjoong. Designer and model. Your jaw drops in shock, why did he chose you to be his photographer, he has never even met you?

You quickly pick up your phone and dial your friends number.

"Jongho you will not believe who I will be shooting next week" "you sound exited, so probably someone famous?" He guesses. "Well yes ofcourse someone famous but I'll give you a hint, he is one of my top 3 designers in the fashion industry right now" you hear jongho think on the other side of the line, "hmm, is it Kim hongjoong?" He asks "YES it's fucking the Kim hongjoong, how did he find me I'm not even that famous I only had a couple professional collaborations" "I don't know y/n but I do know you definitely need to accept this, this is such a huge opportunity" He said "you're right, but I would never in a million years decline this anyway" you laugh.

You and jongho talk for a couple more minutes before you hang up to get ready for bed. But before you get up to wash your face you quickly accept the job offer. You can't wait till next Wednesday.

You were ready to lay in bed but your phone pings, you got an Instagram DM of a online friend you made recently, he was the absolute sweetest and helped you with a few dilemmas. You've told him almost everything that happened in your life the last few months and he's a good listener.

The week goes by very slow but it's finally Wednesday. You grab your stuff and drive to your photo studio. You've never felt so nervous to do a shoot, but it's logical, it's the biggest one yet.

Once the door is unlocked you turn the lights on with the light switch, you always forget how bright that light it's. Especially when it's still dark outside, which is right now because you need to come at least 2 hours early to set everything up.

About 1 pm there was a loud knock on the door, you rushed to the front of the studio to open it. "Hi, come on in, I am y/n l/n I will be your photographer today!" You say kindly, trying not to freak out in the meantime. "Hi y/n, my name is Hongjoong. I am glad you excepted my request, I love your work" He says while bowing slightly to greet you.

"You're kidding, I absolutely love the clothing line you have going on right now. Is it true you design every piece by yourself?" You ask. Hongjoong nods "yes, and I absolutely love doing it. Maybe I do it a bit to much, it causes a lot of stress but at the end it's all worth it" "I'm sure it is" you say.

A few minutes later you showed Hongjoong the dressing room where he could change clothes in private. While he was putting on the first outfit you put on some music, if it's silent you can't function properly.

When he came out of the dressing room you sure you stared a little too long at him "you like it?" He asked, smiling slightly. "I swear it's the best one yet, I love it when there is a lot of accessories in a outfit" you say. "I know" Hongjoong said, you were confused, what does he mean he knows? But you let it slide. You where not gonna let this get awkward. You told him to stand in front of the camera and the rest of the shoot went by quickly.

It was now 3 pm, the shoot was done and hongjoong went back to the dressing room. But he forgot his phone on the table next to the camera. When you picked it up to give it to him you saw a message from yourself on his phone. When i say your heart dropped it was not an understatement. Did you send him a instagram message? You questioned yourself so you went to double check on your own account. But no, the only one you had texted was your online friend. It couldn't possibly be him right?

You knock on his dressing room door and he sticks his head out, "y/n, what's up" "can you explain why you have a text of Me on your phone?" You say. "What? Where you going through my phone" "no you left it on the table next to my camera and I send a text message to what I thought was my online best friend but then your phone pings and I saw my username pop up. So explain, why were you being someone else?" He sighs "Come in please"

Once you've settled on the couch he begins explaining, "look, I can't follow you with my real account, people would've start questioning things and they would've started texting you about me. It was never my intention to Lie to you about it. But I love your work and I just wanted to contact you about it at first" he explained. You get it, you really do but you start to think back to all the conversations you had with him. And you remember one very clearly, last week when you hung op on jongho you texted him saying 'omg I am gonna photograph Hongjoong, now I am gonna see if he's really that hot in real life'

"I texted you ABOUT you, I've said so many stuff about you? I'm so embarrassed" you say and you can feel your cheeks burning. "You are embarrassed? I am the one who should be embarrassed" Hongjoong said, he sits down next to you and tries to make sure you have nothing to be ashamed of.

"But am I as hot as you thought I should be?" You don't answer. "Too shy to say it now, you said worse things about me tho" you looked at him "don't remind me hongjoong" you say, clearly ashamed of what you said. "Yk it's kinds hot when you told what you find hot about me like 3 monts ago, haven't stopped thinking about it since. Oh and the way you send daily vlogs about your day to me is so adorable, it's the highlight of the day. But when you send me that one outfit haul with the black long dress for the party, the one with the split and the cleavage was showing. I would be lying if I didn't get off that night"

"Are you serious?" He nods "yes, you have nothing to be embarrassed about y/n. I'm worse" "you're not worse" you state. While he was talking you where staring at his lips. "What compliments did you like the most then huh?" You say.

"When you said my hands would make a pretty necklace, got my head spinning while thinking about it" He said. "Let's make it happen then" you say.

Hongjoong lips attached to yours, the kiss wasn't so loving, it was rather hungry and messy. He pulled you on his lap and, he groaned in your mouth when you moved your hips downwards. His hand creeps from the back of your neck to the front, he disconnected the kiss and looked at you. You already looked fucked out and he had barely even started.

"Just as pretty as I imagined" He said. "Just shut up and fuck me already" you whined. "I'm taking my time with you" "well I am not taking my time with you" you slid of his lap and sat on your knees in front of the couch, in-between his legs.

You buckled his belt lose and in the process your hand brushed against his hard on, he bit the inside of his mouth to stay silent. His eyes stayed on you the whole time while you were u dressing him. Now he is only left in His underwear.

You get up and sit on his lap again, you connect your lips together and slide your hand from his torso to the waistband of his pants, you slide your hand in his underwear and you wrap your hand around his cock, you can already feel the precum comming put of his tip.

You start stroking your hand up and down, hongjong needs more, he bucks his hips upwards and moans in your mouth.

You get down on your knees again and take of his underwear in the meantime, his cock springs free and your hand is around it again in no time. You lower your head and lick his cock from the bottom to the top, he throws his head back and cursed your name. Once you reach the top you take the tip in your mouth and swirl your tongue around it.

He grabs a fistful of your hair and pushes you down a bit, you give in and start to bob your head up and down in a smooth motion. After a few minutes Hongjoong pulled out of your mouth "I can't hold it any longer and I want to be in you when I cum" He says, out of breath.

He lays you down on the couch and starts to prep you, he wets his fingers by sucking on them and God that looked hot. He first fingers you with two fingers but he soon noticed that you're so wet that he can easily add another one, you moan at the stretch when he adds the third finger.

"I'm ready joong" you manage to get out, and he does not need more consent. "Do you have a condom?" He asks, you shake your head "shit" He curses, "I'm clean" you say, looking at him with big eyes, "me too, you wanna do it without?" You nodded at him.

He hovers above you and lines up, he moves his hips slowly to let you adjust. Once you've adjusted fully he bottoms out slowly just to quickly push his cock back in. He looks at the way your boobs move when he pushes himself back in and decides to grab one of them, gently squeezing it.

"I can't hold it in much longer baby" He whines, you clench around him and he fastens his pace, his hand wraps around your neck and squeezes it, not to hard but hard enough to feel it. "You where right, pretty necklace" He says out of breath.

"I'm cumming" you moan, and a few seconds later you do, while you cum you clench even harder around hongjoongs cock and you moan out his name. That sends him over the edge and cums too. His semen is spilling out of you because it's so much.

Both of you are laying breathlessly on the couch, rethink about what just happened.

I just had fucking sex with Kim hongjoong, was the only thing you could think about.

Leave a like if you liked it!!! X.R

[bucephaly]

heyy I love your blog and love that you're reconnecting. I wasn't gonna say anything, but as the posts keep coming, I have to point out that despite everything, rolls and records just aren't the end all be all for indigenous ancestry. while I understand why folks (espeeeecially cherokees) would be extra protective of their identity, tribal enrollment, etc... this particular requirement can easily erase afro-indigenous histories.

my grandparents pointed out which relatives on our family tree were native, likely mixed. (I'll spare you the details, lol. but I was suspect for a long time, and your posts had me looking much harder!) while I can't find a direct ancestor in the Dawes Rolls, I'm seeing folks who seem to be relatives. there's substantial overlap on a rather uncommon surname linked to the slavers who owned and later held my family in indentured servitude (sharecropping) for 5+ generations in eastern Tennessee. The highest density of this surname (outside of Barbados!) is found in Oklahoma today, where I also have relatives.

records of my kin are generally spotty (a good # just with first names) and nonexistent before around 1850 because they were considered property until 1865, and so not recorded in the census.

what *is* recorded in the first records is that all of my relatives were illiterate up until 3 generations ago. this rules out the ability to apply remotely. and while there was an option for Dawes applications to be taken in person / recorded orally, the one drop rule (plus the promise of land allotment to those accepted) was something that I can't imagine visibly black and indigenous people were able to get past. recognizing afro-indigenous folks would have meant an upheaval in law, and in the colonial hierarchy of who has the right to what.

I don't live anywhere near the OG lands and my family did little more than attend a few powwows growing up... but I do read up on Cherokee culture and language, and don't feel any need to be enrolled or given access to Cherokee resources, etc... I'm content to appreciate from afar & online, and uplift native stories & issues when I can until a natural connection arises. I don't have a lot of time to do so, but I'm continuing the search for proof outside of my grandparents' physical features and stories.

I also have relatives who were Freedmen, and though I want solidarity for all people, cannot ignore the anti-black sentiments Cherokee bureaucracy and unfortunately a looott of modern native culture has displayed in barring and diminishing afro-indigenous membership and ancestry.

I am at peace with the fact that I may never find a paper trail, which though hard-won, is also a privilege largely afforded to folks with white/native heritage, and I think that should be acknowledged.

just wanted to offer a different perspective on this very white website, lmao

wado. & wish u all the best

Yea, very true! There's definitely a lot of anti-black racism and of course slavery in Cherokee history [and still some today] and this stuff really does need to be said. Iirc, many people recorded as freedmen were likely mixed afro-indigenous but were just recorded as freedmen. I'm not as experienced with freedmen and afro-indigenous history admittedly, and that's definitely a glaring gap that I need to work on filling.

[dustydaydreamer]

Ok! Here are my thoughts. Before we start, some important information:

This is all based on my memory. MY MEMORY SUCKS

My hair is short and generally light enough to be dyed without bleaching

Splat:

How long does it last?-freaking forever, even after it's visible. Story time: I dyed my hair purple, and months later once my hair looked my natural color again I tried to bleach it. It turned bubblegum pink.

How difficult is it to use?-ugh. Gets everywhere. Honestly most of the time my mom was doing it for me so I don't really know. This is what I started with.

How did the color look?-vibrant immediately.

Did it dye the shower?-hell yeah. Very much

How badly did it kill my hair?-yikes

How much did I need?- I don't remember. One bottle was more than enough for my hair but I don't know for sure

What did it smell like?-chemical flavoring. Like they obviously tried to make it smell good and like the purple one just smells like the fakest grape ever

What else did I want to say?-my hair stylist warned against it because it is so permanent. This was the last time I used Splat, two years ago. I had dyed my hair blue, and like four months later it was still green tinted and I was getting my hair professionally dyed for the first time ever and she would have preferred any other hair dye

Manic panic:

How long does it last?-not as long as splat but a good deal longer than arctic fox

How difficult is it to use? -its actually pretty easy, but it comes in a jar that you have to buy online(I think) instead of buying it at CVS and it doesn't come with gloves so you need to get your own

How did the color look? -pretty good, I think I've been happy with it

Did it dye the shower? -absolutely

How badly did it kill my hair?-i mean it wasn't great but I don't think it's as bad as splat

How much do I need?- I was able to dye my hair two times from one jar I think

What does it smell like?-nothing too bad? I don't really remember.

What else did I want to say?-this is what said hair stylist that I trust recommended as a commercially available colorful dye

Arctic fox:

How long does it last?-not long at all. I think last time it lasted like two weeks. Which is unideal

How difficult is it to use? -similar level to manic panic I think

How did the color look? -I've never loved it. It's certainly weaker than splat, which is fine if you're looking for less intense

Did it dye the shower? -yep

How badly did it kill my hair? -its supposed to be the least damaging option and I think it lives up to that

How much did I need?- one bottle easily dyes my hair twice

What did it smell like?- definitely smelled less fake and chemically than splat

What else did I want to say?- I have never chosen to dye my hair with arctic fox, it always just happens. I had a friend who only ever dyed his hair with arctic fox. I think he liked the vegan/more natural aspect. He also has very very blond hair. Another (ex) friend bleached her hair before using arctic fox and it lasted a lot longer and I think it was more vibrant

Ferìa(L'Oreal hair dye):

How long does it last?- I don't know I dyed my hair today! (It's been like a month and my hair is still red. I don't love it. It used to be better. I guess it looks slightly too natural for my taste)

How difficult is it to use? -a nightmare. The consistency is all weird and I dripped everywhere and did not like it

How did the color look?-it looks really good! I'm excited. They certainly have less variety in colorful colors than any of the others but they have red, which is what I want right now(this was right after)

Did it dye the shower? -somehow no? Like not at all? I'm amazed. It also didn't dye my scalp or face which is cool

How badly did it kill my hair? -i'll let you know but it has a whole bunch of conditioning stuff included so maybe that'll actually work(it seems not to have killed my hair)

How much did I need?-you have to mix stuff together kind of like bleach, and the longer you have it the less potent it gets, so even though I didn't use the whole bottle anything I didn't use is trash

What did it smell like?-its had a smell. It was certainly chemical and dye like but it seemed like they did something to mitigate/counterbalance it? It's not terrible and it's not great.

What else did I want to say?-i'm really debating whether the easy cleanup and nice color make up for the horror of application. Cause I was certain I was never going to touch it again but now I'm not so sure

I scheduled this post for like a month away from now! So I might be thinking about dyeing my hair again! What color should I dye it?

I'm definitely up for red and purple. There's a mint green that my mom has hanging around her "unused dye" cabinet for no reason that I'm so curious about mostly in the "this would be such a bad idea" way that I could be talked into. But throw any suggestions at me! My ask box is always open

[a-s-levynn]

3-7 for the art asks please 😁

Hey there, thank you so much for dropping by! I hope you have a beautiful day today! 🫶🏻😚

Is 3-7 seven mean 3 and 7 or 3 to 7? 😱 I'm going with the latter, just to be safe.

3. What ideas come from when you were little

Fhuh not exactly ideas, but there has been a lot of mention on Misha's part before -and absolutely rightly so- that my stuff looks remisiscent of the style older fantasy books used for illustrations. So in the sense of style i think a lot has roots in there, because fantasy was what i read the most. Also looked at pictures in a lot of tabletop rpg rulebooks because i loved the creatures. I drew a lot of creatures when i was little.. so yeah i don't think many ideas are coming from back than but the the things i loved definitely shine through in a way.

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

Water. Specifically high waves. I know i just included them in a "how i do stuff" post but i still have not fully figured out a way to execute how i want them to look. But i'll keep you posted when it finally happens. Also hands. I don't do weird or fun stuff with them (yet) but i love drawing them. But they are hard. Also hair. It's tedious at best but i love it so much. I should do it more. Oh yeah and ivy. I mean the plant. I love it but man.. my love for details makes me to do individual leaves. Every. Single. Time. Uhhh.

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

95 : 5 ratio sounds about right. Currently i share almost everything i do because it's either a small offerings, tiny token or something sleep token related but i have a thing or two that i've yet to share which are unrelated to ST. They'll come sooner or later.

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

There has to be a lot of things probably but that's the magic of the subconscious. You are not conscious about it. (And i'm not sure the question is phrased in the best manner because i think getting inspired by something is vastly different from having stylistic influences.)

So stylistically -besides the aformentioned old school fantasy style- to be honest, i'm not entirely sure. Probably the last thing i've seen in any given time somehow get's reflected, even if not always overtly.

As for inspiration, i usually find much more inspiration behind ideas and concepts rather than other art currently. Or small details that spark an idea which will spiral into some other idea, etc.

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

Basically everything. I love art in all it's forms. There is really no medium i can't appreaciate in some ways.

But as for a specific medium i'll never touch is charcoal. I love it. Probably one of the best looking things come from it. I just.. i can't do it. Nope. Never. Also collages. I never really had the eye for it. But. I love them. I even have one on my wall back at home. But i can't do them justice.

[llondonfog]

fic writer asks!!! 🌈 🎀 💝 🍭 💎 ☯️ (i got. a bit excited ahfbsjfn)

Let's Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

the upcoming zine fic my god i just wanted it to be so perfect because this was my first time committing to a word limit way above what i normally write, and it would be illustrated by someone i really admire— i really agonized over every word of that fic and kept deleting pages of it because i doubted it so much lol overall though, if i'm struggling with a prompt, i'll just delete large portions of it and rewrite entirely, if not from scratch until the flow finally kicks in and the words start to piece back together

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

there are quite a few that i wrote as throwaways that spiked in notes which left me thoroughly bemused, but i have to say it's the potion!au one!!! that was a completely isolated prompt that i didn't expect to touch again after the twstober writing event, and i STILL get asks on it today!! it blows my mind how that resonated with so many of you- it wasn't one i was intending to world-build or even write more about, so i'm really happy that i've had the chance to explore it with everyone<3

🍭why did you start writing?

this is so lame, but i honestly can't recall. i've just always loved stories and i've always enjoyed writing/essay prompts for school when i was younger- pretty much all of my english classes would have us free-write for about 10 min of the period starting from when i was in 3rd grade, and that definitely fostered my joy for exploring new prompts and ideas. i think i was around 13 yro when i discovered fanfics, and that opened an entire new world where i learned that if i didn't like a scene in a book or how characters interacted.....i could just rewrite it and that completely blew my mind lol

💎why is writing important to you?

funnily enough, most of my writing could be considered vent pieces. i write to purge my emotions (positive and negative), and to validate for myself that i can still weave a story after abandoning the practice for a few years. it's a way of expression, and i enjoy having a partner along for the ride to grow with and from as we explore ideas together

☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

i personally think the positive engagement outweighs the negative- i love being able share work from the community and go wild with praise in the tags, i think that everyone deserves to hear how their artwork/story/post touched their audience. in that same way, it's how we all get to trade ideas and build off each other's premises that gets fed back into the community until they take on lives of their own. it's amazing to see what a thriving fandom can create when there's so much affection for the content and those creating, it's something i've not been a part of before when most of the fandoms i've joined have been dead ones lol

i can't say that i have social anxiety, but i am a highly forgetful person when it comes to engagement ; A ; i'll see that someone reblogged my stuff or left a message with a highly insightful and sweet comment, and i'll get all excited to respond to them later.......and then later turns into several days because it completely slipped my mind and it's too late to acknowledge it now ; A ; im really bad at that, i can only keep a conversation up with like two people online before i get completely overwhelmed and neglect everything else ailfjiafd

[tachyonblu]

Michael Koretzky is optimistic that historians get the GamerGate story more correct than many journalists had.

"I'm curious what's going to happen now. I think you are true value in this or any of the people listening isn't going to be now or next year. I think 10 years, 15 years, 20 years out, where does GamerGate fall in how everything else works? Because I think it was the first major online movement, and I think it's informed politics. I think it's informed campaigning of candidates. I think it's definitely informed journalism.

So, like it or hate it, we need to get far enough away from it where the journalists phase and the historians take over. Because journalism is called the first draft of history, and the first draft always sucks. So when you get far enough away from it where no one was involved in it, that's when you're objective enough to put it in its historical perspective. And I really do believe that there's a historical perspective for GamerGate. I know the people who hate GamerGate want to dismiss it as nothing but a stupid blip, a pimple on the ass of history, but I don't think that's true.

I think you could still even hate it and admit that it had a ripple effect that's still going on today. And I am not smart enough to or knowledgeable enough to make that kind of analysis or have access to the people that can shed some light on it. Maybe you do. So the real value in the documentation of all of this stuff—and I know it's going to sound stupid and pompous—but historians later on are probably going to watch these old streams on a weird site called YouTube that used to be big back in the day and draw inferences and lines out to where they are in that particular moment.

I really do believe that there's some historical significance to this that isn't going to be really known for another decade or two. And I'll leave you with that pompous ass thought." -Koretzky

[drsorrell]

Wed. 8.30.23

Reminders and Announcements

Office Hours: MWF 8-8:30/11:30-12 pm at library tables near our classroom or by appointment (in person or online).

Norton Stuff: Get Norton code and register for eBook, Chapter Tutorials, and InQuizitive on our Schoology site.

Writing Center: SVC has a great Writing Center whose tutors can really help you! I added the link to the Writing Center and the poster below with a QR code for sign up to our Schoology site as well!

Me Talking (Ch. 1)

You read Ch. 1, “‘THEY SAY’: Starting with What Others Are Saying” (19-31), and Ch. 21, Stephanie Owen and Isabel Sawhill, “Should Everyone Go to College?” (488-505) for today. I'll try to break down Ch. 1 super quickly here and then let you guys handle Owen and Sawhill, then tell me about it:

Ch. 1: When you are making an argument--an argument about an idea, not like which place has the best wings!--you always need to start with what other people are saying. = I Say. WHY??? This sounds annoying.

(1) You need to show you are aware of the conversation that is already going on so that you seem informed and intelligent, like someone I should bother listening to.

(2) Attaching your argument or idea to an ongoing conversation or debate will make your audience more interested in it.

(3) By keeping on returning to what other people think or say with those "return sentences" your chapter mentions, you will be able to continually show how your own viewpoint is different and better!

This is how the They Say/I Say dynamic or "move" works, and I'll give you an example before asking you to write one of our own with some partners about Owen and Sawhill:

Example: People often make fun of the disaster of online education during the pandemic. They talk about things like "learning loss" and students not paying attention. This may be true. For me, as the parent of two school-aged children at the time, it definitely was. But, I would argue that the problem wasn't online education itself. The problem was the way we used it. We did the same kind of stuff in the classroom online, so, of course, it was boring. If we had tried new things, it would have worked better. For example, on Halloween, my daughter had a bag of crafts, and each online teacher taught a different craft that day; they threw 'learning" in a traditional sense out the window, and it worked great; the kiddos were all very excited!

You Talking (Activity)

I want you guys to break up into a couple different groups--no more than four people per group, and talk about the Owen and Sawhill chapter you read for today.

Come up with at least one They Say moment.

Then, come up with at least 2-3 I Say responses. Tell us what you really think. I'm interested! I went to college in the '90s, so I want to know what you all think about this stuff. Really.

Make sure you directly refer to the They Say claim when making your own I Say claim.

Try to write this stuff down, even if it's just in outline form because it might be helpful for your paper later! Then we'll all talk about it! You can do this on Schoology under Unit 1, which says Owen & Sawhill + TSIS Activity."This should also pop up on the right side of the main Schoology page for our class under Upcoming.

Discussion.

Homework

Read Ch. 21, Murray (506-526) and Graff (548-555).

Complete InQuizitive: “How to Use InQuizitive.

[lovesgonnabe]

Love Is Worth It Episode V - We Got The Pandemic Blues Under a New York City Skyline

Characters: Chris Evans x Maya Alonso-Evans (Black OFC)

Warnings: straight fluff, cursing, implied smut.

Word Count: 3485

Summary: What happens in NYC stays in NYC!

AN: The NYC Skyline prompt is by @iguessweallcrazyithinktho thank you so much for letting me use your theme I hope I did it justice. If you haven't read any of her stuff what are you doing get on it!

Disclaimer: There’s only slight edits so there may be errors. Also if you haven’t noticed this series will have many time jumps and things referenced here may make more sense later on in the series when new episodes come out so please bear with me.

Taglist: @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss, @canadian-girl87, @i-just-like-fanfics, @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful​ if you would like to join the taglist message me.

Please leave a note and tell me what you think!

June 13th, 2020

Being with Chris had its many perks but not working was definitely one Maya never wanted to take advantage of.

When Chris first brought it up when they got engaged she looked at him like he had two heads and said “I worked to hard put myself through school to get these expensive ass letters behind my name to just stay my ass at home” and that was the last time they had that conversation.

But fast forward to 2020 If you told Maya that she would have to close both of her dermatology offices in the middle of award season a few months ago she would have laughed at you.

She just couldn’t see herself not working because she loved what she does, but with both New York and Boston putting in place stay at home orders there’s nothing she could do.

It didn't help that it was only Maya in Boston dealing with work and all that entails, Delilah's up in the air school situation, and a whole hoax of things while Chris was in L A being as supportive of a husband and father as he could be on the other side of the country.

At least Dodger was being pretty normal.

Thanks to Chris's family for being so helpful where they could because for a minute Maya felt like she was beginning to drown.

This saga starts with the beginning of the pandemic.

January was chill there were whispers that there was a deadly pandemic on the horizon but no one took it seriously.

February Chris had left at the beginning of the month to LA to promote his new show Defending Jacob and it wasn't like anything out of the ordinary the couple worked, and called each other daily.

Chris told her he'd have to be there through March but would be home in time for Maya's birthday in April.

Her lawsuit against Boston PD was settled out of court for an undisclosed amount that was donated to charity and trust me that lawsuit cost them a pretty penny because Chris was threatening to go to the press and Boston PD did not need anymore negative press.

After finding out that the older officer already had many reports against him for abuse of power he was "let go" by Boston PD and the other officer was demoted to desk duty and sent Maya an apology letter for his actions

She thinks he only did it because her husband is Chris Evans but she tries not to be a cynic.

In mid March with her offices were forced to close and the lives of her twenty employees were in her hands, but sin there was no money coming in she had to regrettably furlough all of them until she could open back up.

This news could come at a worse time because Lilah's school was trying to transition them to online learning for the rest of the year.

So Maya now had to also be her home school teacher for the last 2 months before summer vacation .

Maya does feel blessed because she was still able to teach some derm online classes through NYU, and her family was healthy but Chris still wasn't home.

Because of travel restrictions in LA on April 1st Maya found out that the earliest Chris could be home was in possibly July or Mid June if they are lucky because he need to start filming for Grey Man that was set in Boston.

Then rumors started to swirl that Chris could be cheating on Maya but

She doesn't play that and isn't a dummy

Chris isn't stupid and

He's been in their home in LA quarenting with his brother Scott the whole time so if some foul shit did happen she would be the first one to know and on the first jet smoking to beat some ass.

But hey when it rains it pours.

In interviews Chris would say he was "quartining with his family at home in Boston."

They would try to make the spaces look just like Chris and Maya's homebase in Boston even going as far as strategically moving photos of them in the background to make it look like his office at home.

And it actually work most people thought Chris was in Boston anyways and it was all gossip the others thought he went back home to clean up this mess.

But nope Chris was not in Boston he was 2,764 miles away and this time it all just felt different and he hated not being able to be there with them during this crazy uncertain time and Maya just needed a vacation.

In April Maya and Delilah just had dinner at the house for her birthday they facetimed Chris and once Liliah had gone to bed Chris and Maya had sexytime over the phone.

The rest of the month Maya just went with the flow and did the same through June.

Now we are all caught up and in the present day.

It's Chris's 39th birthday but he was still in LA.

Maya stayed up to call him at midnight in LA because that was their tradition but now it was about 12pm and Chris has not picked up any of her phone calls Maya was annoyed.

Maya and Delilah sat in the Den as Maya was detangling Delilah's freshly washed hair getting ready to put her curly hair into braids as Mulan played on the tv in front of them.

"Mommy can I call dad it's his birthday and I haven't got to talk to him today. Lilah says playing with Maya's phone.

"Go ahead sweetheart maybe you'll have better luck them me." said Maya as she sectioned Lilah's hair.

As the facetime ringtone went Dodger who was laying in his dog bed next to Lilah began to bark and then he ran for the front door Maya looked that way but didn't see anything since the alarm didn't go off either which she found strange.

She shrugged it off only for a second until she heard a bag hit the ground as she quickly stood up the only thought in her head was to protect Delilah helping her to hide under the couch.

As the person entered their den Dodger continued to bark and she grabbed a pair hair scissors about to attack the intruder until she saw his face and exhaled the breath she didn't even know she was holding.

"CHRIS you scared the shit out of me" she said before he could say anything.

He laughed "Baby I didn't mean to scare you" Chris said

Lilah screamed and crawled from under the couch.

"daddy, daddy, daddy I missed you and Happy Birthday." Lilah said running into Chris's arm.

"I missed you to babycakes you been taking care of mommy for me" Chris said holding Lilah and walking towards a still shocked Maya.

He kissed Maya's forehead trying to pull her into a hug but she rolled her eyes and pushed his hand away.

"Chris i thought you weren't coming home till July" Maya asked

Chris shrugged "plans change now are you gonna come and give daddy a kiss you what"

He said flopping on the couch with Lilah on his lap.

Mays sucked her teeth peeked his lips and told Lilah to come so she could finish her hair.

Her saltiness cause Chris to laugh as Lilah moved over to her mom.

They were sitting on the same couch so Chris bent over and began to whisper in her ear. "Stop acting like that baby I wanted to surprise you"

Maya gave minimal response and Chris didn't like that so then he brought heat.

When he walked Maya had on a beige short set the top was fairly tin and the shorts barely covered her ass, he could see her nipples stand at attention on her delicious breast when walked.

It's been 3 months since he's had sex with his wife and boy can he feel it. He gave her tigh a firm squeeze now pecking her spot behind her ear forcing Maya to stop mid greasing Lilah's scalp to take a deep breath.

"if you stop acting up tonight I'll do that thing with my tongue that you like if not daddy won't be letting you cum at all tonight.

Chris said moving his body back to his original position smirking at his shooken up wife whose attitude did a 180 quick, fast and in a hurry.

Chris was no home and with his girls and he couldn’t be any happier.

After braiding Delilah's hair Maya went and they dropped her off at Chris’s moms which was a fight in itself because she wanted to stay with her daddy but Maya had other plans.

The original plan was to take Chris out of the country for his birthday but plans change.

Before Chris showed up today Maya had nothing planned for Chris's birthday because he was not suppose to be home they were just going to the same thing they did for her birthday.

On there way back home my had an idea with there hands intertwined Maya began to speak.

“So birthday boy what do you want to do for your birthday” Maya asked

“You know I don’t care as long as I’m with you my love” Chris said kissing her hand.

Maya giggled “Well we’ve dropped Dede at your moms and Scott said he could take Dodger”

She states looking at the puppy through the rear view mirror as Chris began to rub is thumb over her knuckles.

“It seems you already have a plan for us babe” he smirks

“I know you are just getting home but how about we drop Dodger off and I was thinking maybe drive to New York, I need to get out of Boston and have a bit of a staycation”. She said.

Chris chuckled and looked at Maya as the stopped at the red light.

“Wherever you lead I’ll follow. He said

“You are so corny old man” Maya laughed as she leaned over and peek his sweet lips.

They continued their drive to Scotts and talked enjoying eachothers company for the first time in a while, they were so wrapped up in each other that Dodger had to bark to remind Chris he was about to pass Scoots house .

Maya laughed at the puppy then pet him telling him how good of a dog he is.

“Alright birthday boy Scott has Dodger now let's switch its my turn to drive you around” She said.

They headed home to pick up a few things and then The Evans were off and headed for there trip.

After the 3 and 1/2 hour drive they got to New York and the barren streets shocked them.

They are staying in there penthouse apartment on the upper east side that over looks Central Park and New York's famous skyline.

Before settling in Maya decided to get groceries once she got back Jazz played softly in her ears as the punchy aroma of the candle Slow Burn hit her nose.

“Hey Chris I'm back” she called out to him.

She was met without a response just the smooth stylings of Frank Sinatra.

Maya put the groceries in the kitchen and headed to their master bedroom.

Kicking her shoes off and following the rose petals into the bathroom that revealed Chris who sat in all his glory in the pink tinted bathtub.

Apparently he did not hear her as his eyes stayed closed and his arms outstretched.

And all Maya could do was admire the greek god that was her husband.

His long wingspan encompassed the entire back of the tub as his strong biceps would flex ever deep breath he took. And don't to get Maya started on those baby blues which were one of the only things Lilah did not get from Chris. Those same blue eyes were now looking straight at her.

“I was hoping you’d be back soon” he said

Raising his head to look at his goddess of a wife smirking at him.

“So I’m guessing you would like me to join you?” She asked

Maya teased him as she began to slowly remove her clothes.

“Hey aren’t I the birthday boy that shouldn’t even be a question Maya so you better bring your sexy ass in here” Chris said to her as his arms still laid on the back of the tub looking like a king”

Maya stepped in with Chris’s help the warm water encapsulating her body as she sinks down.

She sighs in satisfaction when her body is finally completely in the water as she lays into Chris’s embrace.

They just sit there and enjoy each other company, washing the dirt off of each other from the day, and stealing kisses from one another.

Maya and Chris were that couple you loved to hate they didn’t show off their love that much with Chris’s anxiety and Maya’s destain for public scrutiny because she’s black woman with a man of Chris stature, PDA was mostly off the table. However behind closed doors they are the cutest most intimate couple you’d ever meet.

Once she was clean from her road dirt Maya left the water first placing a kiss on Chris’s lips as she headed to start dinner and Chris laid back and continued to relax.

Once Chris finally got out the bath he found Maya in the kitchen halfway finished with dinner.

“Jesus babe it smells fantastic in here and I see you changed the music” Chris said

He was now fully dressed in a blue t-shit in matching joggers, his hair damp from the bath as Lauryn Hill's rendition of Can't Take My Eyes off of You played in the background.

She chuckled “only the best for you my king”

"Mhm I like the sound of that" He said as he went in the fridge and grabbed a bottle of white wine and poured them both a glass.

She was at the counter cutting up veggies.

“Ok so how long do I have wait before I can devour all this?” he asked placing the glass in front of Maya.

They took their first cheers of the night tapping the glasses together.

Maya took a sip and moan at the taste of the wine.

“Soon Chris don’t stress it babe you will be fed very soon” she said.

Her hips began to sway to the music as she hummed along.

At long last, love has arrived, and I thank God I'm alive

Chris walked up behind her wrapping her arms around waist swaying with her body and catching the rhythm.

You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off you

Moving her hair to her left shoulder Chris begins to kiss her neck.

"Remember when we first bought this place." Chris asked

"Yes you didn't want to you said my place in Brooklyn was enough for us" Maya said putting the knife down and melted into Chris's strong arms.

"Mmm but you did an excellent job at convincing me why we need this place, 3 bedrooms right in the Heart of the city just for times likes these when want to get away." Chris said with his arms still wrapped around her.

She laughed "I thought it was because you fucked me against the balcony on our terrace is why you said yes"

He smirked at the memory "well that to"

Chris sucked on her neck and moved his down her satin dress but the timer on the pot decided to be a cock block and go off before he could make a move.

He groaned and Maya laughed directed him to get ready to eat.

Just as the food was finishing up Chris set the dining table for two, taking the rest of the flowers from his bath laying them out between the kitchen and there Terrence where they were having dinner overlooking the city.

It was a beautiful night. There was a soft breeze and the city was a glow quieter that usual but still a sight to behold.

Maya brought out the food as Chris poured them another glass, they both sat prayed then rose their glasses to cheers again.

During dinner Chris made some corny jokes that always seemed to put Maya in a better mood as Maya would slyly rub her foot up Chris’s pant leg.

Next came dessert still out on the terrace they shared a slice of cake (more like Maya fed Chris cake) which is how she ended up in his lap enjoying the very expensive yet immaculate view they had from their home.

He rubbed her thigh as he kisses her shoulder just thinking of the fastest way to get Maya out of her dress.

"god you are beautiful" Chris said

His hand now playing with the trim of her panties under her strappy white satin dress.

"Oh no birthday boy you not fucking me out here tonight you gotta come inside for your last present" Maya said.

Chris groaned Maya got up seductively waking back inside her curves just begging him to follow her

“This woman Is going to be the death of me” Chris thought as he came back inside and closed the door that lead to the terrace.

Maya handed Chris his third and final glass of wine of the night.

He raised an eyebrow "Are you trying to get me drunk Mrs. Evans so you can have your way with me?" he asked.

Taking a sip from his glass he smacked Maya the ass and watched it move as she walked towards their living room.

She laughed "I wouldn't have to get you drunk to have my way with you Mr. Evans"

Their living room had floor to ceiling windows that overlook Chris's second favorite city, and that's where Maya stood wine glass in hand looking all the people that looked like ants. But all Chris could think about was how this woman fell for him.

She watched the scenery and he watched her but when that signature trumpet blew he remembered that the music was still playing and so did she.

Maya turned around to see Chris was watching her one hand in his pocket and the other still holding his wine, she made a face at him.

"What are you looking at me like that Chris, you ok?” she asked hand on her hip taking another drink from her glass.

The moon shined off her skin like she was in the sun, her white dress reminding him of their wedding day the way it hugged her figure.

Still speechless Chris walked up to her placing both of their glasses on the coffee table, he brushed her hair behind her ear and she moans nuzzling her head in his touch.

"Baby I am absolutely perfect because I am here with you" he says.

Chris softly pulls her by the waist bringing her flush against her body as raspy voice of Louis Armstrong in Le Vie En Rose brought butterfly’s to Maya’s stomach because this was their song.

His hands lay softly on her waist as her arms lay around his shoulder as they dancer slowly around there living room.

Hold me close and hold me fast, The magic spell you cast, this is la vie en rose.

His cologne sent waves of pleasure and warmth through her body, when Maya laid her head on his chest not wanting to let him go. As their heartbeat became in sync the moonlight casted their sillones on the ground.

They were two lovers who were lost in eachother hoping to never get out and wanting to hide from the world it felt new but familiar.

Once the song ended Chris kissed her so deep and and passionately Maya thought she was gonna cum then and there.

Chris's hands moved from their previously respectable position making circle on her hips to the bottom of her ass telling Maya to jump causing Maya wrap her chocolate legs around his waist.

As Chris walked he kept repeating how much he missed Maya so much while he was in LA.

They couldn’t even make it back to their bedroom for their first round of many.

And Maya was a goner as Chris made love to her all night in every corner of their apartment as the city watched as the couple were engulfed with each other.

But there was a little voice in the back of Maya's head "Well damn how are we going to top 40 next year" it asked.

The preoccupied side of her brain shooed hat thought away so she could just enjoy being with her man at this moment.

Thanking god there was no more space between them like the miles before.

[fallingsunflower]

I'm not gonna lie I've been out of the loop for a quite a long while now (Found out about holivia today) and as someone who's been bombarded with it all at once (god give me strength) you truly see how desperate O is. Like I know you were all saying it but in my mind I was fully like but she was meant to be the badass female director. Now? I despise her. I have spent the majority of this year excited for DWD (because of the cast, because of what it means for harry, hell because of the female director) now I'm mostly dreading everything to do with it.

Anyway as I was going through everything some stuff stuck with me and I thought I'd share. First off she does many many many pap walks on her own, I find that incredibly interesting (and annoying obviously) but it more so makes me think about the route her and her team are taking. Which at this point I think I've grasped to be; take what you can get now, worry about the consequences later. They're clearly incredibly desperate for olivia to get more famous while shes attached to harry, which makes it more obvious that this is temporary. They're trying to get her name out there as much as possible so that she can get more fans through harry, and they're seemingly praying that they stick around (they wont).

Her online vogue article was interesting to say the least. I don't follow vogue much so I don't actually know if this is a big deal, but I'm assuming if she's not on the cover it's not. I'm pretty sure her status (as a celebrity) is still quite low acting and directing wise (as in, in the industry) I mean real life too, but she definitely has more fans now than before this whole thing started.

My last comment is that as a queer women of colour, I am deeply offended by some of the things I have discovered she has said and done. I hope people (specifically white straight people) in this fandom realise how truly offensive that stuff is. I've been spat on before for having lighter skin than she did in her photoshot, and the coming out comment hurt like a bitch because when I came out I was beaten. My family still refuses to speak to me 10years later, and I've received back hateful messages from family members about me and my fiancee's recent engagement. So I take personal offence to many of things she has said and done.

I would also like to add that I've been told you're trying to post less olivia related stuff and more harry related stuff (it is harry related your account) and so I just wanted to say that theres no need to post my ask, because it is all olivia related (my apologies for that) so I'd understand. Simply wanted to share my thoughts.

I came here because a friend recommended it catching up wise and seeing what the fandom's been up to and is talking about at the moment etc. etc. and I just wanted to say that it's a very lovely place mod, I have to say you do an amazing job of controlling the environment and making it a safe space so kudos and hats off to you for that. I imagine it must be exhausting and yet you do it so well. I've also gathered you were in some kind of accident?

I'm a doctor so I'll just say to be careful with your neck, drink water and get some rest. Get checked up again soon if you can, if not my fiancee's cousin watches this forum (space? I feel old) like a hawk I'm more than happy to help you examine yourself and see if anything's wrong. Take care.

Oh jeez, I'm sorry you've been bombarded with all of this information. It must be hard to unpack all at once. It's hard enough trying to make sense of it all and most of us have been here for a while now.

I'm so sorry you've been through all of that - that's awful. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. But it only goes to show just how ignorant Olivia is, and offensive. It's disgusting and makes light of horrible situations. And now there's a whole fanbase (mainly gf harries blindly supporting her) who are contributing to racist and homophobic beliefs.

In regards to the ask, I wanted to try limiting Olivia posts because I got complaints. However, part of the blog, as well as discussing Harry, is also discussing holivia so naturally olivia is part of that. But I don't want to turn into a hate account or a stalker account. I have no interest in her so I've been limiting asks that talk about her but have no relation to Harry (this doesn't include the posts outlining her problematic behavior though because those ought to be shared).

I'm glad you like the blog. I enjoy running it :) I try to keep it a safe space for everyone.

Thank you for the advice. Yeah, I was in an accident on Tuesday. I was driving home from work and got hit. My back is killing me today though. I might put some heat on it.

Congratulations on your engagement, btw. I'm happy for you x

[retphienix]

It's been 6 years :)

On March 30th, 2015 I decided I wanted a gaming side blog. (so we're early, but shush, it's the month for me)

I didn't know what I'd use it for exactly, but I had ideas- something I always have even if most of them only get as far as daydreamin' or writing out before closing them :P

For proof on the lack of direction the blog initially had- the March 30th date is the anniversary of my first post, an in-depth and lengthy review of Dragon Warrior Monsters for the GBC.

If you know the blog then you know "Extremely long and in-depth reviews" aren't the norm around here. As a matter of fact, that first post is the ONLY one I've done!

The closest I've come to ever repeating that would be the (word of the day) Directionless video I put out on Hades to get a grip on the concept of making videos, but that wasn't nearly as much of a 'review' as that first post is.

Tangent, definitely planning on trying my hand at videos some more for the foreseeable future. Probably not gonna use the tagline Full Impressions that I tossed as a whim for the Hades video but yeah- I'm excited to try my hand at a few videos :) tangent over.

It didn't take me long to come up with what I'd like to do for the blog though :)

A few months later I liveblogged a challenge run of FFT where I used only Ramza- a solo run. - Which maybe only happened because I tried a nuzlocke run a year prior on my main account-

(Nuzlocke | FFT challenge run)

Thanks to that haphazard liveblog experiment I started to realize a couple things which became the primary motivators behind this blog.

1) I LOVE sharing experiences. No brainer, I'm sure, but being able to share my experiences, and compare them with others' experiences, and just that mutual sharing is uplifting and feels good to do.

2) Liveblogging is an EXCEPTIONAL motivator to buckle down and play all those games I said I'd play (cue everyone laughing because I'm still way behind and have an immeasurable backlog).

But I mean that, on both respects. I have plenty of motivators toward the blog today, but if I were to be concise it's pretty much "It's easier to beat games if I liveblog them- otherwise I get distracted and play other games" and "I love sharing experiences and thoughts with people about my favorite thing- games."

Since 2015 I've tackled around 70 games as full playthroughs, and an untold ton as one offs or just to ramble about for a bit.

I've had a lot of highlights over the years, and I don't talk much about it as an overall experience so I thought for the anniversary I'd try to do just that. Not everything- I can't say I have photographic memory that would bring all of it up without prompting after all :P But whatever comes to mind as I browse some of my old stuff- as well as some thoughts on what I'd like to see in the future.

It's gonna be a bit self-centric I assume as I type this preamble to it, so let me say outright that this blog wouldn't be half of what it is without all the people who've given it the time of day over the years.

From recommending games they love or appreciate, to comparing thoughts, to offering kind words for analysis I've done over the years, to pointing out when I'm dumb and misread a situation :P- to, yes, even the people who decided "Fuck this guy's ramble" and deleted my captions before reblogging my gifs way back during Hamtaro (Of COURSE I remember that! It's amusing lol).

This is better because of others, because of the interactions and the people I've gotten the chance to chat with or befriend. It's just a liveblog more or less, my own little bit of fun I toss out for myself if for anyone- so seeing others enjoy this or that from the work I put into sharing my experiences or thoughts is always a joy in itself :)

Anyway, onto selfishly rambling about some tidbits of the past :)

Also sorry but no, opted to not shove a ton of photos in, it does have a handful of links to old posts though :P

This'll be disorganized as heck as I'll add to it over time before I feel it's worth posting (or the tumblr post editor becomes a hassle and more or less forces me to).

First~

FFT Solo Ramza Challenge: Considering it was roughly the first thing this blog has done, it's also something that's stuck in my head a lot more clearly than most of the other stuff I've done to be honest lol.

In truth, this is partially because FFT is my favorite game, bar none. But it's also because the whole experience was pretty new to me. Prior to it I had really only done one self-imposed-challenge that wasn't requested by the game in some manner and that was a nuzlocke run of Blue version.

So adding a challenge to my favorite game was a fantastic experience!

Notes I just wanted to say today about that run: If anyone enjoys FFT I honestly recommend giving it a shot for the unique story it lends itself to. I do recommend skipping the rules until after the second battle but that's up to YOU to decide.

My first post on the subject is me complaining about spending 4 hours grinding out the second fight and, despite hyperbole being my natural state, that was NOT hyperbole.

It DID take 60~ restarts to beat. It DID take 4 hours. The reason is that that 2nd battle is RNG as HECK, you HAVE to have Delita do some meaningful actions, you HAVE to have the enemies miss and make poor plays, you damn near HAVE to crit a few instances to save yourself from taking too much damage.

It's a numbers game to the extreme, so I wouldn't fault anyone for 'cheating' and skipping the 2nd fight for the ruleset lol.

The memory that stands out the most for that run is actually isolated in a post in which Ramza (Purrick in this run) talks like a total badass as just ONE DUDE running into a room full of enemies. I just think on that as a great encapsulated view of what it was like. The run started off face grindingly difficult, but because FFT is a game that offers so much freedom to the player it was extremely easy to 'break' the game into making Purrick overpowered as hell.

That's something I love about some tactical RPGs, I love having the ability to play smart so that I can play stupid later on, and breaking the game into making him one shot god is certainly a good payoff for playing smart early on :P

RetQuick: I miss RetQuick, it was primarily a short experiment I did in 2015 where I'd play a game for a short span of time (REALLY short, like 10-20 minutes) and record that for the purpose of making gifs and saying a short piece on what I thought.

It's one of those formats where the purpose was pretty shallow- but had a reason. I wanted to try making some gifs with some tools that existed online, so I made an excuse to do just that.

I also wanted to play a TON of games, usually through emulation on my sister's PSP, and this let me do that.

These two minor goals came together and so I spent a while making RetQuicks which were honestly more fun to make than they had any right to be. I mean the gifs were tedious but the playing? The thought sharing? The end product ocassionally having more appeal than just a photoset? It was fun.

I'm thinking whenever I have trouble picking a game for the blog I'll revisit the format... sorta.

I already reused it for a short stint to show clips I had no plan on expanding into a playthrough, but that died as well as it was too similar to Tidbits posts (another tag I no longer really use).

My thought is to rebrand retquick as something of a tryout for what game comes next. Play a handful of my backlog games for an hour or so each and say some thoughts before saying which one I'll continue as the main game for that period of time.

Old Tag Stuff: One of those things that only sticks to me since I made the decisions but it's always funny for me to look back on my old posts because I was apprehensive as hell toward making my posts visible. The reason my early playthroughs on the My-Tags page are variants of Ret instead of just "The name of the game so people can find this post" is because I felt like a liveblog would just spam the tag to hell-

Something I don't remotely feel bad for doing anymore.

So I avoided getting any sort of spotlight for quite a while on the blog for little reason.

Why Retphienix?: This is just a dumb thought I wanted to share and I'm sure I've said before.

It stands for retro!

Yeah!

Ain't that dumb and also not a real shorthand? lol

I think I have some sort of deer in headlights anxiety towards naming things, I mean do you think I think Full Impressions is a good summation for a video? I don't. But perhaps that's overshadowed by the other inexperiences and anxiety driven decisions that had- doesn't matter.

Retphienix is Retphienix because I sat there in 2015 and thought "Well... what do I name an alt account?"

My main is Redphienix, which yes, is ALSO a terrible name AND is misspelled. But it's that because of sentimental reasons. As a kid I misspelled Redphoenix when making my gamertag (I knew how to spell Phoenix back then as well, I was too excited about xbox live and misspelled it) and it's become something of a sentimental misspelling.

So I wanted to make a mix on that for my game blog, but I had no idea what. In the end I thought "RetroPhienix? I don't know. Retphienix is closer to Redphienix. I'll do that" and so it was done.

And just like how Redphienix is both bad and misspelled but exists because of sentimental reasons- Retphienix has acquired the same 'flavor' in my eye lol.

Aspirations for the blog: I have no immediate ramp up plans or road map or whatever, and in truth I'll be happy if the blog stays just as it is forever- up until tumblr ends- I cry over lost posts- and I reopen it on another platform.

But I do have blurry half-considered daydreams that I'd like to see happen for the blog through some hard work or shifts on my part.

One is something I'm already doing kinda, hence my embarrassing means of bringing it up a lot lately. Videos- I want those. I wanna make some looks back on series people don't talk about that I enjoy, I want to make videos sharing my thoughts on games I beat for the blog (like what full impressions kinda was, but I don't think they'll have a unified name from here on out). Maybe retrospectives, but mostly when I think of making a video tied to retphienix or me in general it's me looking at a game that said something to me, and saying it louder with my own interpretations on it.

You know the kind, videos where they talk about a video game but not the whole thing- just a singular message they really heard loud and clear from it intentionally or not. I dig those and I know I end a lot of games having plenty to say that could be directed into such a format.

We'll see.

And I'm along for the ride on that one as well- currently I'm keeping my eyes on whatever is directly next, which happens to be "I plan on playing Omori, if it clicks as something to talk about I would like to take a shot at that in a video too!"

The other is that I'd like to build a small community. Wouldn't know the first thing on doing that in a modern sense, but just a little online friend group to chat with and play games together. Something that could open up multiplayer and coop experiences being better shared on the blog and would just in general expand my gaming to what it used to be back on the 360 when I had a large group to play with.

Since the 360 era ended I've pretty much closed off- stopped playing competitive games due to lack of interest- and slowed down to playing all games either solo, with randoms (and no mic usually), or with my cousin. It's a rare instance when I play with some good people like @gamesception or another friend of mine, John.

When I diverted from playing competitive games nonstop toward other genres I didn't intend to also cut out all my online gaming buds, it just kinda happened, and I never really put any effort into rectifying that.

So more or less I'd like to one day sit down and work on a discord server, and then buck up and put the leg work in to make some gamin' buds again, but that's such a vague concept anymore.

Sounds all sad and what not but it's more ambivalent, I made decisions that

changed how gaming worked for me after the 360 and this is just where it landed for better and worse- I'd just like to see if I can make it a little better :P

General things I think when I think retphienix: Honestly? I think of how much fun I've had over the years and how thankful I am to have had an outlet that encouraged me to explore more of the medium.

I REALLY love games. I went to college for games, I've written LEAGUES about games, I've played countless games, my childhood was games, my adult life is games- games games games yada yada yada.

So when I think of retphienix I think of how without it I probably wouldn't have explored a lot of the corners of gaming that I have.

I genuinely, and I mean this, might not have sat down and beaten FF7 for myself and would have considered the amount I played as a kid to be enough.

I might not have played Chrono Trigger yet, and I KNOW I wouldn't have played Chrono Cross, and I'm happy as hell to have played both of those. CT was a mind blowing moment for me that showed me just how good an RPG can be, and CC gave me miles to think of in terms of innovating an RPG and how beholden to the narrative a sequel should be (I don't feel CC should have been chrono at all lol).

I DEFINITELY wouldn't have given New Vegas another chance. And I know I'm a sourpuss on NV, I've been that way since I maxed my achievements on the 360 for it, but replaying it really did reveal to me how exceedingly negative I was being.

My memories had become "It's brown and a boring location >:(" and "The factions all suck and it doesn't do anything with the idea of bad factions >:(" and became "It's... a little brown guys, not a big fan of the area" and "They didn't do enough with exploring the gray factions" while adding "Wait. This is pretty damn fun. And 90% of the additions are stellar. And I forgot about Dead Money, my favorite dlc in any game ever with a story that tears at my heart every time I think of it, NV good actually?"

Faxanadu would have remained a cool game I saw on SSFF and not a game I played to the end and fell in love with the aesthetic feel it has!

Also that's a game I cheated like crazy on lol, I would do it again! Save state scumming games meant to be rudely difficult is only fair :P

I probably would have never sat down to play through Windwaker which was such a positive and uplifting experience that I now get the most relaxed and warm feeling in my heart when I see those blue waves.

There's so many experiences I would have left on the table in favor of like... putting more hours into a live service title or something.

Maybe, and no offense to my cousin or anyone else playing it, but maybe I'd be no-lifing World of Warcraft nonstop just stagnating my interest toward the skinner box mechanics of an MMO?

Some offense, actually but lightheartedly lol.

But beyond the entire games I've played for the blog, when I think retphienix I picture all the time making gifs, all those games I played on the PSP for short stints, buying a retron 5 to add to what I could explore and being stoked when they shipped a freebie box of old controllers to go with it, getting angry at the retron for being a Piece Of Shit lol, crying at the end of damn near every game with an emotional story because I'm a big emotional mess of a person who finds investing and crying at a story way too easy thanks to empathy pulls, oh!-

Getting excited whenever I found that I had a "*controversial*" opinion that no one would care about lol. Like the one that comes to mind is that I thoroughly believe that Dragon Ball Z II: Gekishin Freeza!! for the NES is WAY better than the fandom recognized and appreciated sequel/remake Dragon Ball Z: Legend of the Super Saiyan!

How many people do you hear talking about either game, let alone saying the NES game that is roughly half of the SNES remake is the better one :P But I stand by that! The SNES one is a remake of DBZ1 and 2 for the NES but it loses all the charm and some of the fun of the NES ones by being a lackluster SNES game!

lol

I admitted wholeheartedly that this post would be a lit-

little directionless (gotta love the new tumblr poster making me break sentences like that), but to sum things up.

It's been 6 years. It's been an untold amount of work to be honest- liveblogging a game, at least for me, hasn't been the easiest thing. It's a lot of thinking out my thoughts (heh), it's a lot of learning tools to make the capturing process possible, it's a lot of experimenting, it's a lot of writing and editing, and, well, sometimes it's just tough.

I mean I went to school for coding, not video editing, not writing, not image processing, not this or that- but this hobby has introduced a lot of things even if only at a VERY base level (I admit fully to using online alternatives to make gifs for instance).

I learned a lot about, well, a lot of things in order to use this blog to learn more about games- and all that work has become part of why I've loved all 6 years of this blog.

6 years of gaming, work, and you all- and it's been worth the investment :) Here's to many more and all of you whether you stumble upon this post or not- literally anyone who's interacted in these 6 years, thank you, and anyone who hasn't I offer you well wishes as well.

<3

[shiro-0197]

aw shiro, my love, don't worry about it!! i only hope you're okay and safe :d please only reply when you're free, and don't feel bad about it!! >:(

my day yesterday was okay, i've just been relaxing, and studying occasionally. went out to explore a nearby town too, it's so pretty there. and much colder (since it's a highlands) of course!! Today was great too. I bought doughnuts (they're amazing?? I love doughnuts), and I had instant ramen, but it was SO spicy I nearly died. (Three bottles of water later, because someone finished all the milk in the household *cough* me *cough*) and I'm still just reeling. Sucks having such low spice tolerance HAHA. I'm listening to some old school hip-hop rn, while typing this out :D how were your two days?

here are some i'll be using to teach english :d and that would honestly be much appreciated, he's getting on my last nerve rn. (I included the first few, what do you think?)

thats such a priceless feeling i so totally agree. you're so precious 🥺🥺 i'm sure they're prouder thank you imagine. you're so dedicated!! i'm sure all that extra research you've done will definitely pay off. it's good that you know what the job is roughly like, so you'll be really prepared when you finally do start it. you know that one scene, in the 2nd season of the great pretender? when the chinese mafia boss emphasizes the importance of a translator in literally everything? (like that book award example) i may be getting the thing muddled up, but i found that so cool. like yeah, a book or speech could be absolutely beautiful, but if everyone can't enjoy it due to it being a different language, it would be such a shame. i just find translators really important. sorry, i'm really dorky haha 🥺🥺

awww but i think your personality type is wonderful. a lot of my favourite characters are intj (they're all so precious istg grrrr) yes!! i was in a tooru brainrot yesterday too 😭😭😭 (saw a bunch of couples on my walk, and I was like "if only Tooru was real grrrr") and yes?? there'd be so much to learn from each and every one of them. dedication from hinata, savage lines from tsukki, kindness from yams/yachi, how to be a dork 101 from atsumu. aaaah 😭😭i'm sorry they're all so wonderful.

No pftttt I totally feel you. I saw some people without masks today and I was like "bro wtf" and just really loudly said "I sure hope everyone starts following the rules so the cases don't increase" because I'm a lil bitch like that xD

awww okay!! I'll definitely keep that in mind. Mayo makes everything better, tbh >.< aww that's understandable! I don't have specific preferences but hearing the phrase "soggy cheese" makes me want to cry somewhere :( I don't like nuts in chocolate. I'm very passionate about that? XD ikr??

I'm surprised too, I usually never pass on murder, but I guess you're just special like that 👉👈 sir I'd get married to you as many times as you'd like 😼 oops sorry for being cheesy, but—you like cheese ;)

U

I won't ask why, don't worry. Since I kinda feel the same about Malaysia tbh. It's a love hate relationship, I think HAHA but yeah 😣😣 i don't look up to US at all, and it sucks because people generally do. And I'm just like ;-; why (no offense to Americans tho lol)

is that even legal omg they're so chaotic?? XD how cute tho. Angel does stuff like that all the time too, but I'd never know that when I first met her (she has the most perfect exterior, and then when you get to know her; she's the biggest dork) Schools opening on the 20th, I can't wait to see her then :] (I can, however, wait for the exams which are scheduled for the 25th ugh)

peanut butter is indeed yellow, not up for discussion hehe :) here's my favourite hues!! I love gentle, soft hues like these (pastels) , for yellow; I don't have a favourite. they're all wonderful

ahhh no that's so precious of you!! :)) I'm smiling rn.

yeah skdhskdjsk I'M JUST SO GRRR. Whenever someone goes "hey Ari can you ______" and we both respond?? The tension?? In the air?? Bro skdjskks. 😔🤚 You share a name with one of the most precious characters too tho!!;

This is Shiro from Voltron hehe. I love him so much, just like I love you (tho I'm sure we both know I love you more <3)

I share a name with a book character. His name is Aristotle Mendoza, but his crush-turned-boyfriend calls him "Ari" (which has been my nickname since I was 12). Reading it for the first time was the BEST feeling ever. It's also my favourite book, "Aristotle and Dante discover the secrets of the universe".

—Ari :D (no pfttt I love the tag so much. I have my own tag, that's like the best thing ever 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺)

Heyyy I'm so sorry for answering so late!! I know you said not to apologize but..... well hmm no excuse I just feel like apologizing, but either way thank you for your patience!!♡ This is the third time I'm rewriting this, and this time I'm doing this in my notes because fuck it😔

Im glad to hear that!! Highlands are always so pretty. Wish we had those here, but it's only steppe here:( Boring~ ooh, donuts!!! They're really good. I havent much, but I tried them like 3 times and they're so good. I really hope I will get to eat more<3 also WHAT'S THOSE NOODLES' NAME I WANNA KNOW- Are you feeling okay now, though? XD

My days were nice!!! Felt as if I had been hiding three bodies, but I've been feeling better lately. We had online school yesterday so I'm excused from the errands for the half of the day, thankfully. But your messages make me very happy. Though I dont always feel like writing a response (or I get stressed because it doenst save) so very sorry for that😔

Ohh those look so pretty!! I'd totally join to just look at them. The colors are so nice🥺 it looks like one of our olympiad prep slides, though better. I dont have the screenshots sadly😩 Either way I really love the little details like the squiggly thingies or the Ж .... they seem unnecessary but the energy changes a lot without them hehe

I really hope they will be🥺 that'd mean a lot to me. And I'm also really hopeful itll work out. I really don't wanna disappoint my family, which is literally just one person. The less people there are, the more it hurts, you know?

Yeah, that scene meant so much to me!! I dknt remember much, but I was very happy they said something like that, because I've been told being a translator wont work out for me. Now look at me, I'm about to tell them to fuck themselves<3 I was also so surprised to see Laurent know that many languages ..... I aspire to be like him😩 And honestly, I havent though so deep of that but you opened my eyes and now I'm about to float off into the next universe😭 dont apologize though, its very cute!!!♥︎♥︎

Heheh, I guess you're right.. every single anime INTJ is a silent sexy mastermind and I love them . ... YEAH every single time I see a passing couple i cry because I dont have anyone 😡💔 and sometimes when I see people doing something amusing (which includes people failing cuz I'm evil) I just imagine one of the characters doing that and I smile all the way xD Honestly, I'd sell my father on black market for a single day with one of them:( though that may sound like a really low price because his cigarette filled lungs wouldnt cost a lot... I sound like my 7th grade self again I'm so sorry

BAHQHHANEJWJD I HOPE THEY WERE EMBARRASED. I HOPE THEY FELT AWKWARD AND OTHER PEOPLE DID TOO, they deserve it. Like, learn your lesson bitch, it's been a year!

Yeah!!! I love mayo, not to the point where I would gulp it down from the package, but it does make dishes taste good. Same, soggy cheese on itself sounds like a dish served in the ninth circle of hell. You should try nuts in honey!! Like, just straight up dip them in honey. Sounds weird, and it doesnt always taste NEJFJKSKF (depends on the honey)but I think it's worth trying xD Walnuts are the best with honey I think

That was so funny ... TOO FUNNY, I LAUGHED FOR LIKE . 3MINUTES STRAIGHT and I do not laugh when I'm tired. You really are special 😭😭😭😭 cheesy ... HAHRNFJJSF

I'm so sorry for being a bully like that but it's so funny how you left a single U there . Its so mysterious, was it in purpose? Or were you lost in the excitement if messaging me?

I was one of those people, honestly 😭 but mostly because I wasnt aware of its political condition, I guess. Maybe theres more than just politics that's bad about US, but honestly, it has more opportunities than this hellfire. Though now I'm more into Norway and Japan. Really wanna travel there :(

Heheh, yeah, we never really show off to strangers at first. I dont know what exactly I mean by we, but you get my point ♡ Good luck though!! I hope it goes well for you<3

Oh they looks so pretty!! They're really wonderful. Like bubblegum and cotton candy and literally anything sweet... it's so cute !!! And I totally agree, there isnt a bad yellow.

HAHAH, honestly, that reminds me of how there were 4 people with the same name in my class, and whenever the teacher did the attendance thing, they would all stand up. Teachers usually dont say the last names, so we always gotta ask which person they mean if theres more than one person with that name, so yeah.. That happened on accident at first, but then they just did it for trolling xD

OH MY GOD HES SO PRETTY? HES SO PRECIOUS?? HUHHH??? I gotta thank Kuro for this wonderful opportunity of sharing a name with someone like .... him🥺

Oh that's so cool!! Also, he has a boyfriend ... I really need to start reading xD it's so cute though! It sounds like such a good book, I'm glad you share a name with him, hehe!!

I also share my real name with one of the characters in a kids' show, and its SO ugly, I'm in pain. Every time my friends see one of those on TV they go

Which is a pain in the ass, it's so embarrassing...........

Awh, okay!! I'm glad you love it, cuz I do too. Because it's your name.... cuz I love u. That was so lame PLEASEJWJDJSJF I HOPE YOUR DAY WAS GREAT !!! LOVE YOU

[baekhyunbitz]

First Kiss

A/N: it's this cuties birthday today and he is one of my biases for Pentagon, so I really wanted to do something for him. I hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know what you think❣

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Jo Jinho x Reader

Warning(s): online dating, please be careful if you ever are involved with online dating. It can be dangerous.

Word count: 2.2k+

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the shadow of the night spills through my window, I finally settle into the comfort of the disheveled satin sheets, waiting as midnight draws close to facetime the only person I would stay up this late for. 

*buzz* *buzz*

Speaking of the handsome devil.

"Hey babe, we finally landed. I've never been more tired than I am now." His ash gray hair was sticking out a bit from his beanie, small circles under his whiskey colored eyes. 

"At least you can head back to the dorm soon and get some rest." I lay my phone against the other pillow as I snuggle further into the blanket. 

"Would be much better if I could finally fall asleep with you in my arms. Are you sure you can't come by tomorrow?"

"You know I would if I could Jiji... I have a big day tomorrow though. One day really soon, we will meet before you know it. I promise."

"I'm gonna hold you to it. I should have you wear something goofy when I finally see you for having me wait so long." Even though his tiredness shows, it definitely doesn't stop the adorable giggle that passes his lips.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" My lips turn up into a slight smirk, he replies with a wink.

"Guess you'll just have to find out when the time comes." Commotion goes on in the background as they get in the vehicles to leave the airport, every now and then I'll hear greetings from the other members. 

"Looks like we have to part for now babe... I'll talk to you tomorrow though, even if I have to escape the guys for a few minutes."

"Okay, and Jiji?"

"Yes Y/N?" 

"Happy Birthday." I blew a kiss towards the camera, causing Jinho to turn a light pink even in the darkness. 

"What about me?!" Hongseok yells in the background, his face coming into view when Jinho turns the camera for Kino, Shinwon, Yanan, Hongseok, and Hui to see you.

"Well, now I can't forget about you either Hongseok, Happy Birthday." I blow another kiss and wave to the guys, wishing them a great night's sleep before Jinho turns the phone back to himself.

"Goodnight Y/N, sweet dreams my dear." 

"Sweet dreams to you too." When the screen goes back to the call screen, I lock my phone after setting my alarms to wake up early for the big plans I have in store tomorrow. 

I wonder what his face will look like when he finally sees me; I smile to myself as I rummage through my closet to find my outfit for the day—a pair of my black shorts with a basic white v-forget to with the addition of his yellow hoodie that he sent me a few months back. After a nice shower and changing, I grab my keys and head out to my car while messaging Hui that I'm on my way to the amusement park. After planning to meet up for a week for Jinho’s and Hongseok’s birthday, today is the day I finally get to meet Jinho and give him his gift, his gift being, well, me.

Messages

Jiji: Are you sure I can't just come see you instead? I much rather see you than be here with screaming kids after not getting a giant stuffed bear. 

Y/N: It can't be that bad, you have the guys with you. 

Jiji: Those are the kids I’m talking about. 🙄

Y/N: I'm sure it will be fun, it's your birthday. Maybe they have something planned, but I got to go Jiji, my mom needs my help. 

Jiji: okay… I'll talk to you later. Tell her I say hi. 

Y/N: I will. I love you😚❣

Jiji: I love you too babe xoxo

After letting Hui know I’ve made it, I lock my phone and finish grabbing some tickets for the rides and attempt to stay hidden from them until I get to the Ferris wheel. The biggest crowds are around the food stalls and the smell of the greasy festival food makes my stomach growl, I get in line to get an elephant ear when I hear his unmistakable laugh.

Oh no, not yet. It will ruin the plan!

Walking towards the same booth, nine familiar faces catch my eye, Jinho catching my eye the most as he was fashioned in a periwinkle turtleneck, paired with obsidian black jeans, and a navy blue windbreaker. His gray hair, not styled like usual, laid against his creamy skin, a slight pout forming on his lips, "Miss, can I get you anything?" The lady at the counter spoke, tearing my attention away from the guys back to reality in front of me.

"Umm... I changed my mind, sorry." I dart off away from them to find another booth to ease my grumbling stomach. 

An hour has passed, the sun has started to make its way to the horizon, the perfect time to ride the Ferris wheel, it always seemed to have the best view of the amusement park that you can enjoy with someone special. No better way to finally meet the man I've been waiting to meet now for eight months due to being on tour. My steps turn into light skips with butterflies fluttering about in my stomach, my nervousness starting to sink in.

Hui: Is it time?

Y/N: Definitely. I'm walking the direction towards the Ferris wheel now.

JINHO’S POV:

"Who's sitting with who?" Yanan asks the group. The guys start pairing themselves off to ride the Ferris wheel, leaving me to sit alone. This day has not been as fun as they said it would be, all I keep thinking about is how I wish I could just finally meet Y/N now that I'm back from tour. We waited in the short line as each seat is filled with couples or a pair of friends, the staff member checking each barrier as a precaution so nobody falls. The wheel turns once more to bring down the final seat for me to get on.

I don't even know why I'm going along with this. Who even rides the Ferris wheel by themselves.

Before the guy checks the barrier of the seat I'm in, a lady's voice rings in my ears, a voice I've heard many times before during our face times and phone calls. 

READER’S POV:

"I'm sorry I'm late, is this seat taken?" Jinho is speechless as he looks me over to make sure he isn't hallucinating, the staff member asks him if it's okay if I ride with him. Jinho nods as a huge smile spreads across his face, taking over the pout from before. I walk up the few steps to the ride, handing my ticket over then sitting down next to my boyfriend for the first time, “So, do you have something goofy for me to wear now that we have met?" His laugh is much cuter in person, little wrinkles by his eyes as he leans his head back with laughter. 

"It was a joke baby, I swear." He scoots closer to me as the ride begins to start, our seat slowly going backward as we raise up in the sky. 

"Happy birthday Jiji. I wanted you to have something extra special for your birthday this year."

"Special indeed. You're my favorite present ever." His arm wrapped around my shoulders, closing the space between us as if there was any left. I lace our fingers together and lean my head against his shoulder, the thrill of finally being able to relax in his hold fills me as the breeze at the top of the Ferris wheel blows around us for a short time. 

"You should thank the guys for helping me set this up, it took a week to figure out everything and make sure it was okay with the management."

"That explains why they have been so secretive lately. Especially last night, they were constantly snickering to themselves. Also explains why Hui has been on and off his phone all day today." 

"You guys almost caught me though, I had to run away from an elephant ear stand to keep the surprise going."

"That was you?! I knew I recognized the yellow hoodie, they told me I was just seeing things because I wished you were here. By the way, I'm happy to see you wearing my hoodie, it suits you well my dear." I lift my head as the Ferris wheel comes to a stop close to the top of the ride, the sun setting as darkness slowly starts to take over the pinks and purples of the sky. The wind picks up right at that moment causing my hair to blow around my face. I tried fixing it but with no luck, the wind kept blowing it around. 

"Hold still." Jinho removes his arm from around me to pull out his beanie from his pocket, stretching the material to place it upon my head, keeping my hair from getting into my face as much. I look into his whiskey irises that sparkle with the last bit of light from the sun, l the scent his cologne and cotton candy filling my lungs. He lowers his hand to rest against my cheek lightly, his thumb soothingly rubbing my cheekbone, his eyes looking at my lips then back up to my eyes asking for permission. 

"Kiss me."

"With pleasure babe." He closed the space between us as his lips finally meeting mine, the taste of root beer still lingering on his lips. My heart starts drumming in my chest from excitement as he pulls me a bit closer if that was even possible in these seats. My digits raked through his gray hair causing a slight sigh to escape his throat and a giggle to pass my lips, his tongue tasted my bottom lip before dancing with mine in a more heated session. 

"Oww owwww!!!" 

"Get it Jinho!!" Kino and Yuto hollered from the seat behind us, cheering and clapping for their friend. He pulls away to wave them off causing me to laugh and grab ahold of his hand again to lace my fingers back to their new home. The staff member continues to let the riders off, the Ferris wheel moving one seat at a time.

"I actually have another surprise for you. I talked with your manager into letting me see you for the whole weekend, so the guys packed some of your stuff so you can stay with me at my apartment in Daegu."

"Yes!" He throws his arms up in excitement, his cute boyish charms showing through. The Ferris wheel came to a stop to let us off the ride, the staff member unhooked the barrier as Jinho grabbed ahold of my hand, tugging me with him to the ground before picking me up and spinning me in a hug. 

"I'm guessing this is confirmation that you're coming with me back home." He sets me down to kiss me once again, taking my arms to wrap around his neck then snaking his around my waist.

"I'll follow you anywhere. Now that I've finally met you, I don't ever want to let you go." 

"Please take him, his grumpiness of you not being around was starting to get annoying, but it's lovely to finally meet you in person, Y/N." Wooseok chimes in. The guys standing there came into view as I released my hold on Jinho, each member coming up to hug me for the first time since I've talked to any of them. 

"I'm glad I can meet you all now, and thank you so much for helping me set this all up, I wouldn't have been able to do this without you." 

"Anything to make our hyung happy." Yeo One chirped as he ruffled Jinho's hair. Jinho smacked his hands away then grabbed ahold of me, hugging me from behind to rest his chin on my shoulder.

"I want to thank you guys as well for making this happen. It means a lot to me."

"Well, you two can get going if you want as much time together as possible before we have to go back to the studio Monday. Be sure to stay out of trouble." Hui winks at us as they all say their goodbyes before running off to ride a few more rides. Jinho took my hand in his as we walk back towards the exit of the park.

"Any other surprises I should know about?"

"You'll just have to wait and see once we get there." I winked at him while I pulled my keys out to unlock my car. Just when I get ready to open the door, I'm spun around and pushed up against the metal frame, his breath causing shivers to rush down my arms as he whispers in my ear. 

"If it requires taking this hoodie off of you, I can't wait." He placed a chaste kiss on my neck with a smirk before lazily walking over to the passenger side and getting in. Once inside the car, I start it up as Shine by them starts to play from my Spotify causing us to laugh on our way back to enjoy what the night has to offer back home.

[jaeyooniverse]

Hey, it's your fantasy friend! Sorry I was mia for a while, there was some family stuff going on 😔 everything's okay now though so hopefully I'll be back to sending asks regularly again 💖

What is your favorite version out of all the teasers? (did I ask that already? have I been gone since before the last set came out? I don't remember... 😖) Are you ordering the album, and if you are, what version(s) are you going to get?

I wonder if the "kpop groups have found family vibes" thing and the "companies trying to make fans feel super close to their idols" thing are connected... in the modern age there are so many people who feel very isolated, and I think if you keep up with a group who treat each other like family, you start wanting those connections even more - then if you start feeling like you're a part of that little found family as well, you'll be really emotionally attached to the group, so I'm wondering if the companies understand that and are trying to make fans feel especially connected with the artists in order to create stronger loyalty. Maybe that's too much of a conspiracy theory though?

I actually dropped out of college after the pandemic started because I discovered that online class doesn't fit my learning style at all 😅 and I was thinking about getting a job but then everything was closed down, and now that things are opening back up here everyone who lost their job in the pandemic is clambering over each other to get employed again, so anywhere that's hiring is getting a huge influx of potential employees who are much more qualified than I am 😭 so I'm just living with my parents right now and waiting for the chance to actually do something... *sigh*

I wasn't a Fantasy yet during the corn product thing, but I heard that people wanted Zuho to leave the group or something because he wouldn't eat food he was horribly allergic to? Is that what it was? (and yeah corn is so good... I really loved tortilla chips before I found out that eating corn was one of the things that was making me feel so crappy 💔 I'm still looking for a good replacement 😔)

I hope you're doing well! 💕

it's okay there's no rush life happens ^^ i'm glad everything is okay now how are you holding up?

i don't think you asked or at least i don't remember answering 😂😂 i think my fave teasers overall are the F ver but the group pic from the 9 ver is definitely my fave. I like that they're in like actual room for the 9 ver, the sets from the first two felt kind of lackluster. which one is your fave?

i want to order the album i usually preorder them but have been a little short on money this month so I'm controlling myself lmao so I'll hold out and try to get my hands on a copy later this summer hopefully (plus then I'll save on shipping since i also want to get kyungsoos solo album and a couple others, I'll try to get everything at once ^^) if i get it I'll probably just get the F version for now and try to collect the others later on. Do you think you'll order it?

ooh the connection is definitely there and I don't think it'd be wrong to assume companies recognized it as something they can take advantage of, i wouldn't say it's a conspiracy 😂 they follow trends and observe what it is that draws & keeps fans. i also think stan culture revolves around loyalty in a sense like,, i feel like there's this idea that a true stan keeps up with everything and stands by their group thru everything. which isn't always bad but then there's those people who will defend their faves even when they're in the wrong 🙃

aaah online class has been an experience to say the least 💀 and ah yes the infamous job hunt..... never easy but definitely not these days 🙃 i wish you the best of luck !!

i don't even remember the exact details but i remember people being mad at him about it and it was just so ridiculous..

i hope you can find something but corn is irreplaceable </3 i will eat more in your honor 😂

hope you have a nice day today 💞

[duanecbrooks]

A Couple A' White Chicks     Remember when--and I've done it more than once--I touched on the fact that one of my all-time favorite category of YouTube items are the ones that involve those pair of Access Hollywood Live chicks Natalie Morales and Kit Hoover? Well, in my continuous satisfaction of my YouTube fix, I've come to tune in to those gals more and more and, upon getting a certain definite helping of them, I can say unabashedly that Nat and Kit--as they're famously and affectionately known--have come to be my second-favorite pair of non-narrative-television girls, my favorite pair being, of course, the Today show's Kathie Lee and Hoda (with my admiration, indeed, my love not decreasing a bit whenever Jenna Bush Hager fills in for either one of them).             Before going into what exactly has caused me to give my heart to said AHL she-babes, let me give you my history concerning viewing them during their individual careers.             First, Natalie. I first discovered her, of course, when you did--first on the regular Today show, then, as time passed, on the aforementioned program's Third Hour. I right away fell in love with her billowing, lustrous brown hair; her exquisitely-shaped, sparkling eyes; her rich, well-proportioned jawline; and her excellently-sculptured bare feet. Indeed, Natalie was the Today regular who was barefoot the most often (bespeaking an entirely admirable trait that I'll elaborate upon as we continue). Also: There was (as there still is) her unstoppable vivaciousness. This girl, frankly, was (and remains) a helluva lot of fun. Although she, bless her, had the maturity and the gravitas to handle Today's serious-news readings, she could easily switch gears and be wholly convincing--and wholly appealing--bantering with her Today colleagues and doing the Today fun stuff (Only her Today sisters Tamron and Sheinelle have this ability). Finally, there was (and still is) the factor of Natalie's relentless good-sportmanship. This gal was (is) in no sense a prig, being always ready, willing, and able to, to quote the famous words from the legendary 1980s theatrical dance flick Footloose, "cut loose...kick off [her] Sunday shoes," and let her hair down and have fun. Indeed, said line regarding "kick[ing] off [her]Sunday shoes" especially applied (applies) to Natalie, as, as was mentioned earlier, she went barefoot more often than any other member of the Today family (The latest example of her aforementioned good-sportsmanship came when, during a week when she was the drop-by Today anchor and there was a segment on closed suitcases, and what were inside, she was genuinely scared shitless when, upon one of said suitcases being opened, out crawled a facsimile of the girl from the picture Rings [After calming down, Natalie told the girl: "I'm sure you're a lovely person." Later, laughingly recalling said moment during the Today Third Hour, Al Roker chuckled: "I loved it when [the Rings girl climbed out of the suitcase] Natalie hid behind Hoda. It was like: 'Leave me alone! Take my colleague from the [Today] 10:00 hour!'"]).                 Now to Kit Hoover. I first became aware of her when she co-hosted this (alas) short-lived ESPN morning show called Cold Pizza, which was comprised of the typical morning-show elements--cooking segments, celebrity interviews, et al--but with, being that the show was on ESPN, a decidedly athletic emphasis. The most distinct memory I have concerning her time hosting that show is her interviewing this fellow who worked part-time as a children's entertainer. His final words of the interview were: "If I can bring a smile to a child's face, it's all worth it." And Kit responded, with a warm smile: "Well, you've certainly brought a smile to my face." In sum, Kit conducted that interview with the kind of welcoming warmth and graceful charm that couldn't help but one immediately on her side (This view, sad to say, was, judging from viewer feedback online, not the majority one. Such feedback consisted of comments like: "Oh, my Lord, it should be blindfold and last cigarette time for whoever sold this concept to ESPN. The hosts are lame, the topics are lame. There is not bad enough to be said for this piece of crap...ESPN, have mercy on us [viewers] and kill this turkey," and "How can you have a former Road Ruler [Kit was previously one of the hosts of this non-narrative-TV program called Road Rules] hosting a morning show? That'd be as preposterous as having Paula Abdul judging a singing competit...Oh, wait [referencing Abdul's being one of the judges of American Idol]").                   Very well. Now to the specific items that have put me squarely on Nat and Kit's side.                 .Nat and Kit, while on this European beach and clad appropriately--short-short pants, clingy blouses, and barefoot--played a game called footvolley, a volleyball-like game wherein use of the hands is prohibited, with Marcus and Moe, two bikini-Speedo-adorned hunks (When our gals were informed of the rules and they were facetiously told: "No shirts," they laughed, and Nat, still laughing, responded: "That's not happening"). There was a prologue wherein our AHL chicks Discussed Strategy between themselves (Nat: "Think we can take 'em?" Kit: "I think so. What do you think?" Nat: "I think we can take 'em. Just because they're wearing Speedos doesn't mean they're any better than us"), then we saw the game, during which we saw quite a lot of highly delectable skin, mostly, happily, that of the ladies, and the very ingratiating segment ended on a very ingratiating note, with all of the players placing their hands upon one another's and yelling: "Footvolley!"           .On one AHL segment, the girls played a game of "Total Christmas Recall" along with the veteran actor/television personality Terry Crews with the Full/Fuller House player Dave Coulier officiating. While playing said game, the gals were tethered to each other, both of them wearing Christmas sweaters (Nat's read: "I've been nice," Kit's read: "I've been naughty." For the record, the former wore black thigh-high boots, the latter wore black high heels and matching stretch pants). The format of the game was that Coulier read the descriptions of Christmas-themed pictures and the ladies and Crews raced to this bell and, when it was rung, there was a guess as to which Christmas picture Coulier was describing. As I remember, it was Nat and Kit who wound up winning and, at game's end, high fives were exchanged all around, with Kit lightheartedly telling Crews and Coulier: "You two Detroit boys hug it out right here." It was a highly uplifting end to what was, in all, a highly uplifting segment.                     .Nat and Kit interviewed the actors Sandra Oh and Anne Heche, who had then wrapped a greatly physical picture called Catfight. The conversation ranged from the AHL she-lookers being shown how to throw a punch (Oh: "Before you throw a punch to your partner, you need to make sure that she's seen you") to the liberating quality of Catfight itself (Nat: "I love that it's empowering. It's a feminist thing") to whether or not Oh will ever return to Grey's Anatomy (Oh: "It means a lot to me that a whole generation, a new generation of fans is discovering the show...I just don't know [if I'll ever go back to Grey's]. It would have to feel right"). In sum, we AHL viewers got to spend quality time with a quartet of attractive, appealing females.               During the 1990s, a pair of blonde career women/bombshells came out with a book detailing how women can "have it all" (fulfilling career, satisfying family life) wherein they described what were then the two perceived real and true roles of women: "the Hot Babe In Bed and Sex Machine." While both are of course a monumentally limited view of the female sex, it is getting a dose of Nat and Kit that brings on an intensely strong temptation to--in the positive sense--adopt those outlooks.