#[ as the shortest person ever... why do i even try to play basketball ]

[despairforme]

Wakes up with a hard-on. What else is new?

[ruka-the-animefangirl]

Happily Ever After

This is my first time writing a story for Twisted wonderland, but I did it for myself. I thought it was a cool concept and I wanted to write it. 

I’ll probably do the art of the characters and post them later. Thank you for reading !

It's a big realization, when a person finally sees how unfair the world is. Or at least just how fucked up it is. I was a sheltered kid, my family always surrounded me. There was never a time where I found myself alone somewhere. Someone was always with me. But the problem was…

My family hates me..

They don't like me, they can even stand me. So I was confused as a child, seeing my family always surrounding me but can't even look at me. Without that gleam of hate.

I never cared much, I only thought I was such a cool anime main character. That I was like Zuko from Avatar, being hated by my family but super cool and awesome.

But no matter what they still had my back, at least that's what I thought. I never even knew they hated me up until this moment. 

Until the day came where the universe was o so gracious enough to show me how wrong I was. During a beautiful sunny day. Me, a short 6 year old little girl, with black hair and brown eyes and glasses was invited to my cousin's, Mark, birthday party. He was 15 at that time, and he always made fun of me, but he didn't go too far. At least he was never allowed to. 

No matter, I was playing in the garden with my best friend. 

My family were inside talking and eating and celebrating. I didn't pay attention however.

"Morro, imagine if I was the green ninja. I won't be as cool as Lloyd but I would still be cool" I said grinning ear to ear. He chuckled and ruffled my hair. " Sure you would kid. But it's a really big responsibility ya know. I think your too short for that" 

"Heyy!! I'm gonna grow!" He laughed loudly at that. 

While we were talking (arguing), my mom came over and told me to keep it down.

"Brett come here, we're gonna start singing soon" I looked behind me to see my mom and aunts looking at me while holding a really big cake.

My eyes brighten up looking at it. It was 3 layers and was black and orange. Mark is a basketball player, so the cake was basketball themed, it had small decorations with tiny basketballs. That was all it took, I needed to eat that cake.

"OK ma! I'm coming" 

I turned to look at Morro so I saw him standing and holding his hand out, "let's go?" I smiled and grabbed his hand. He pulled me up and picked me up. "Let's go eat that cake before you blow up" 

I giggled and went inside, while holding Morro's hand. Everyone was already gathering near the table. So I just walked between people's legs till I was near my other cousins. 

I was the youngest and the shortest kid, so everyone was bigger nonetheless. Morro stayed behind me as everyone sang happy birthday to Mark. Then came the time to eat CAKE!

All the adults left right after, like they always do during our birthdays. Something about them drinking the red grape juice. 

I just enjoyed my third slice of cake with Morro. He doesn't eat anything, I don't know why. Like its food, food is good. He did take a bite of the cake though so I was happy enough.

Anyways, while I was eating and talking to him. Alan and Mark came up to us. Alan is Mark's youngest brother, he was 13. They sat down next to me and started asking me about my imaginary friend.

"Hey short stack! How's that imaginary guy of yours" Alan said while grinning wildly,

"He's doing fine" I said in a small voice and kept eating. 

He never even gets mad at them either, he just smirks and watches us interact. He does always tell me not to react if they try to bully me, and that's what I learned to do.

"You seriously need to grow up, you look like such a weirdo outside. Do you know how weird my friends looked at me cos of ya!" Mark said while picking up his plate with cake.

"Good thing they thought you were a stupid toddler, so they dropped it." 

Leo stood up, "yeah like why don't you just start acting like normal people, remember last week?"

"Oh yeah where she jumped in the lake and accused her imaginary friend" 

His friends came up to us, one of them asking if he was serious.

They all just laughed and laughed as they kept reminiscing about the times they found funny.

I remembered that moment, it was when I was playing with Morro and he picked me up and threw me into the river. We then swam together and saw fishes.

My mom got mad at me later on because she found me drenched and yelled at me for jumping into the water with no supervision. 

While they kept laughing, my mood slowly disappeared. Why can't they leave me alone…

Morro, sensing my discomfort, ruffled my hair and told me, "do you want more cake? I'll get you some more." He smiled at me " These idiots are gonna stay idiots, so ignored them"

I looked down on my plate, "sure I want cake I said softly" 

As he prepared to get up, Leo looked at me and said while smiling "awww are you talking to your imaginary friend ?"

Mark laughing chimed in "you want more Cale? Seriously?" 

He looked around and then back at me, "why don't you take mine then? I don't feel like eating more"

He grabbed his cake and threw it at me. I stayed frozen, hair and face covered in cake, some of the cream falling down on my dress. 

Morro looked at me and grabbed some tissues and started to wipe my face.

The rest of my cousins realized what happened and joined in the laughter.

They didn't care about me, they all just laughed at me whenever Mark torments me. My aunt, Malak, came to the room to see what the commotion was about. Saw me and chuckled a bit. "Brett, sweetie how did you get cake all over you" 

Mark got up and pretended to wipe the cake off of my dress. "She tried and fell on her slice. I was just helping her out." He said smiling.

"Yeah but we also couldn't help to laugh at her" Leo said, "sorry, haha" 

She smiled and then looked at me. She was the only person who cared about me besides Morro; but she always took Mark's side because he was one of the older children. 

Malak wasn't a very tall person, but she was super nice. She always covers her hair with a cloth, when I asked about it, she said it's because of her religion. I don't know much about it, only that my parents disapproved of it a little, but were still content with Malak. My uncle was also part of the religion I think. Cos I see him praying similarly to how she prays. 

My parents don't follow a religion, I don't think they do. We don't go to church, unlike some of the people we see. Nor do they pray or wear the cloth like Malak and my uncle. 

Whenever I asked Morro, he avoided the topic and said that he believes there is God or multiple Gods and doesn't say anything else. So I just do the same, I believe there is a God there, but he makes things really hard for people sometimes, I don't know why tho. 

Breaking my thoughts, Malak picked me up and took me to my mom. Who, the moment I saw me, glared at me so hard. My eyes started to water. 

She scolded me and told me I should have been more careful after Malak explained to her the situation. 

My mom is a tall woman, she was harsh and very serious. She always made sure that I did well in school, even if I'm still a child. She got me to take up music and sports so that I have activities to do after school. 

She always has big expectations of what I need to do, and how to do them. Whenever I don't reach them she gets mad and grounds me. So when she saw me with a dirty dress covered in cake. She was livid. 

"Charlotte, calm down, it was obviously an accident. You know how Brett is." My dad calmed her down, she stared at him and sigh. "Drop it Oliver, she knows better"

She took me to the bathroom and kept scolding me while cleaning me up. 

I started to cry, snot and tears running down my face. "But Mark was making fun of me and threw the cwake at me awnd I couwldnt-"

"Stop! That's enough from you. Why do you always have to accuse Mark of stuff? Just drop it!" Suddenly she gasped horrified. She called my dad over, who also came in and looked at me horrified. He sat down with a smile and held my shoulders tightly, and started to chant something. Some of my uncles and aunts came too and just stared at me. They were all glaring at me, eyes filled with hatred. When suddenly I passed out. The last thing I saw was Morro staring at me with glowy red eyes.

At that time I never knew what that situation was about, but what I did know was that not only was the world shit. But it also hates me. The reason was unknown to me until I was 10 years old. When Morro finally explained to me the situation. 

Why everyone I knew ignored his existence, why he was able to come to school with me, why I was the black sheep of the family.

 To make things clear, I have known Morro since I was a baby. He was so cool and was my only friend. He was always there for me, no matter what happened. But I fully got to know him when I was 3, when we became friends. He played with me when my parents didn't. He gave me food, clothed me and walked me to places. My parents never brother to do any of this. They only cared that I stayed silent and polite. And kept the appearance of a normal child. Which obviously wasn't the case, especially since I walk to Morro every time of the day. He told me his name was Moros. Which reminded me of a bunch of Morro from Ninjago, so that's how I ended up calling him Morro. He didn't mind, so I kept it. He was tall, like really tall 190 cm tall. He has dark purple wavy hair, and wears makeup. He's the definition of an emo kid honestly speaking. He swore a lot- which is where I got my swearing problems too- he taught me to be independent, and how to be myself. He helps me with my homework, especially the extra ones ma gives me to make me smarter than other kids. He hates my family, and they hate him too. For a good reason too.

"I'm Moros, but what you don't know is that I'm also through God of Doom. I was stripped of my title and forced to this earth cos I was tormenting humans too much. I turned into this demon creature by default. Your parents, who were mages from this other world, sealed me into you as a favor from the gods to stay in this world instead of theirs."

"My parents are from another world ?.." 

"Yeah, your whole family is. The world is called twisted wonderland, it's a very interesting world. They have sorcerers and mages, along with inherent creatures and people. Like mermaids, beastmen and other gods such as I was once myself. They have a very rich history and a very interesting one at that. Much better than this boring world, where people have no magic, no supernatural, nothing at all." 

He picked me up, and suddenly we were in the living room. Where my parents were. They jumped when they saw me and were shocked to see me with Morro.

My dad got up, but Morro pushed him back down.

"So…the reason why your family hates you, is because they used you, to seal me inside of you like I told ya. But the reason they did it was because they made a deal with some gods who wanted me gone."

My mom stood up and started yelling at him to shut up. He glared at her and continued, "if they took care of me, if they got rid of me, then those gods will send your family to this world."

"We did this to have a peaceful life!!"

"At the expenses of your child!"

"Shut up!! You have no right to talk to us that way! She is our daughter. We can do whatever we want to her!!" My dad screamed back at him.

They kept arguing and screaming, I couldn't follow, I wasn't able to. 

Did they really sacrifice me to come here, why do they hate me? They did this to me. Is that why I'm the only one that can see Morro? But they're seeing him now, did he just now show himself to them? I don't know what to do. I don't understand. Why is this happening to me! Why can't I be a normal child! Why is this happening to me of all people!

Before I knew it, my dad was sending fire at Morro, I was choked, this is the first time I ever saw magic. So Morro wasn't lying, they're mages. They can use magic, so everything else he said must have been true. Was I really just used to just being a sacrifice for Morro? Do they really hate me that much to do this to me?

My mom grabbed me by the arm and held it tightly. But I couldn't think, I didn't know what to do. It was starting to feel really hot, and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see either. My breath became short and harsh, tears streaming down my face. I was crying and hiccupping, barely able to breath. 

Mom was yelling at me but I could hear her, everything was blurry, and my ears started ringing. With Morro and mom's voice in the background.

"Kiddo, please calm down, everything is okay, just breath" 

Everything just stopped, I opened my eyes and I saw Morro in a black area. He was kneeling, holding my face. He started to breathe and I followed.

In and out

In and out

Until I could breathe properly

I took a really deep breath and sighed. I looked into his eyes, as he was wiping my face form my tears.

"W-where" sniffing loudly "are we?"

"We're inside your head right now?"

I stayed silent and wiped my face. "Am I like Naruto then? I have something sealed inside me which is why people hate me?"

He chuckled "yeah I guess you are. Is that bad?"

"I don't know" 

"Are you feeling better"

I hugged him 

"I'll see you outside then, and let's getcha ice cream kiddo"

I hated that day so much, but it really showed, who cares about me and who doesn't. 

My parents, after that day, made it clear that I am not wanted. They started to work more and exclude me in events. Morro, however, stayed with me through thick and thin. And I loved him for it. 

I ended up growing alone, Morro being my only friend and family. High school is the hardest for me. I was already short growing up, and I'm still short. I look nerdy and I haven't developed much. 

I was slightly overweight, I had braces and wore glasses. I was the perfect person to bully through high school. But I didn't care. I ignored them as much as I could.

I started to learn magic after I found out about everything. Morro did his best to teach me, but it's not his Forte so it was hard to learn for us both. Until I found a spellbook in my parents room. Morro created an illusion so that it looks like it's still there while I learn the spells. And well, I ended up being really good at it. At least from what Morro tells me.

"Stop narrating about how you think your too weak"

"Come on! How am I supposed to believe that I'm good at this?!"

" you can trust me and believe me when I tell ya"

"Yeah but like… am I really that good at magic? Like it's not like I can compare my magic to someone"

"You don't need to compare yourself, you're an amazing girl. I wouldn't exchange ya for anything in the world"

 "Thank you"

You're probably wondering why the hell, I'm even ranting about every single traumatic shit that happened in my life at the moment. Or how I was basically disowned by my parents. 

Yeah well I'm templating my life choice right now, cos well.

I'm stuck in a coffin

I have no idea how it happened, or how. Or who put me here.

But here I am.

In a coffin, upright and having nothing to do except to contemplate my whole life.

Honestly as fuck up my life is. I like it, I have an amazing best friend, who's awesome. And who taught me everything I knew.

"You also forgot to mention how I gave you my powers?"

 That too. Morro has very powerful magic, as the God of Doom. He can see how people die, along with some teleportation abilities and this guy can make amazing illusions. As in, good enough where they're like shadow clones. You can touch them and they don't disappear. I don't know if you realized it, but I abused the hell out of this. I’m 17 ok?! I’m using this power, it's super powerful, I'm not giving up on it.

A loud click brought me back to reality, light blinding me for a few seconds. The door of the coffin opened up.

[smokeysister]

The Stepford Game: Part 1

(This story features brainwashing, mind control, stepfordization, and unintentional reality warping)

Carrie wandered through the mall, trailing after her friends as they talked excitedly to one another. She was of average height for a 20 year old college student, albeit a bit plain looking. She kept her blonde hair in a pixie cut, and wore the bare minimum when it came to makeup. She didn’t even paint her nails or do anything with them beyond clipping them when they got long. Even her clothes were unremarkable. Just jean shorts, flip flops, and a red crop top. Carrie stuck her hands in her pockets and sighed. Normally she enjoyed mall crawling with the girls, and it was spring break too! But she just felt so listless and bored. Nothing could really excite her. Even her last few dates with her boyfriend, Kent, had ended with her going home early and wondering if she should just end the relationship. But out of the corner of her eye, Carrie saw something that did interest her, at least a little bit. There was a new store, or at least one that she had never seen there before. It looked like an old hobby shop, with dusty windows and old toys and games in the display. Little toy cars and train sets that seemed to be from the 1950s, all made of painted wood and metal. Probably lead paints, she realized with a wrinkle of her nose. Still, the store had caught her attention. All of the other hobby shops and toy stores in the mall had been closed down and replaced by tech stores years ago, so it was an odd duck out. And it seemed to be empty.

“Carrie? Why are you lagging?” Vivian asked. She was Carrie’s best friend, ever since they were little kids. If Carrie was unremarkable and plain, Vivian was anything but. She had ivory skin, with heavy black and red makeup that never seemed to leave her face. Her straight black hair hung down to her shoulders, and she was always wearing black leather and lace. Silver studs dotted her chin, cheeks, and nose, and she had large black gauges in her ears. She wore a black band shirt, which advertized one of the endless list of heavy metal bands she listened to, and which showed off her sleeve tattoos. She had ripped jeans and combat boots to complete the edgy look. And of course, she always looked dour and grumpy. “Huh? O-oh, I was just… Looking at something,” Carrie mumbled. The other girls turned around and joined her, looking the store up and down, with varying reactions. “What is this place?” Linh asked innocently. “Who cares? I gotta head to the apple store and get a new phone!” Mariah complained. Linh and Mariah were Carrie’s other closest friends. Linh was tall, asian, and had long black hair that reached all the way to the bottom of her back. She was wearing an oversized purple t-shirt that hung off of one shoulder and a pair of black and white gym shorts, as well as a pair of glasses with thin wire frames. Mariah was the shortest of the bunch. She was black, and wore her hair in bright, multi colored dreadlocks. The most athletic of the group, she wore a blue basketball jersey and a pair of mesh shorts, as well as some worn out sneakers. “Can we look inside first?” Carrie begged. She wasn’t totally sure why she wanted to check it out, but it… Well, it called to her. “Please?” “I’m with Carrie. It could be fun!” Linh agreed. “I don’t really care one way or the other,” Vivian said with a shrug. “...Alright, fine!” Mariah agreed. “But we’re going to the apple store after! I promised Mark I’d text him tonight when I need a ride home.” “I told you, my mom could give you a ride if you needed,” Linh offered. “Sure, she’s got work early tomorrow morning, but I could probably convince her if we really need to.” Carrie felt a pang of sadness when Linh mentioned her mother. Linh’s mom was always busy with work, ever since her dad had left them. As a result, Linh was just about always at home alone, or spending her time at their houses, but Carrie knew that she missed being able to spend time with her mom. But as much as she’d like, there wasn’t really anything Carrie could do to change that. “Let’s go inside then,” Carrie said, trying to shift over to the less serious topic. She walked into the store, and the other three followed after her. The inside of the shop was just as musty as the outside, and it seemed as though nobody had shopped there in years, if not decades. In fact, the only person inside, aside from themselves, was an old man behind the counter, keeping watch over an old metal cash register. “Talk about old,” Mariah said, wrinkling her nose. “I dunno,” Carrie said. “I think all this old vintage stuff is kinda cool.” “I was talking about the guy,” Mariah snorted. She looked down her nose at an old train set from the 1930s and rolled her eyes. “So what do you sell here?” Linh asked the owner. He was a short, stocky, warm old man, with thick rimmed glasses and a forest green sweater vest. “Oh, old toys and games, mostly,” he explained with a friendly chuckle. “I don’t get too many customers, but whenever I do, they always manage to find something to enjoy.” “I somehow doubt that,” Mariah snarked. If her remark offended the old man, he certainly didn’t show it. He just kept on smiling fondly, as though he were talking to his grandchildren. “I have to agree with Mariah,” Vivian said, speaking up for the first time since they had entered the store. “I haven’t met anyone, our age or younger, who has even a passing interest in a game that doesn’t involve a CPU.” “Ah, people can surprise you!” the man claimed. “Why, just last month, I had a little boy come in with his mother. Just like you say, he wasn’t interested in anything other than his fortnights or call of battlefield, but then he found this little wooden car, over on that wall. The second he laid eyes on it, he couldn’t think of anything else. He begged his mother to buy it for him, and then he ran right on past the game store down the way, because he couldn’t wait to get home and play with the car.” “Suuuure he did,” Mariah muttered under her breath. She gave up on even pretending to be interested in the store’s contents, and so she stayed by the front entrance and leaned against the doorframe with her arms crossed. “I can believe it,” Carrie said, smiling at the old man. “There are still people who like this old vintage stuff. Collectors, you know? They’ve gotta start somewhere.” “I guess…” Vivian agreed, tentatively. Linh, however, seemed to be fully on Carrie’s side. While Linh and Vivian looked at a few old toy soldiers, Carrie wandered off, towards the back of the store, where there was an array of board games stacked in a pyramid. At the very top of the pile was one with a name she didn’t recognize at all. Even the brand on the box, the people who made it, didn’t ring any bells. Milton Bradley they were not. But the cover of the box is what caught her attention, as well as an odd name, which clashed with the date that it was made. “The Stepford Game?” she asked nobody in particular. Wasn’t that story from the 1970s? But the game, from it’s production date to the scene on the cover, dated the game to the early 1950s, roughly twenty years earlier than that horror film her cousin showed her. But the box seemed so interesting, so unique. It had an idyllic image on the cover, showing a group of six housewives chatting on a patio. They were all different races, which seemed surprising, given the era. But they also looked so happy. Genuinely happy, too, not that fakey happiness that old advertisements always involved. Carrie didn’t even have to think twice about it. She was going to buy the board game. Like the old man said in his story about the little boy, she was transfixed. She knew that it was now or never, somehow. If she walked out of the store without it, she would never find this piece of history ever again, no matter how hard she searched. She picked the box up and hugged it close to her chest as she raced back to the counter. “I’ll take this, please!” Carrie said with an eager smile as she set the box down on the glass countertop. “Huh? Really?” Vivian asked, looking up from a pack of baseball cards that the man had been showing to her and Linh. “Oh, cool! I haven’t played a board game in ages!” Linh said. “We can play it back at my house tonight!” Carrie nodded enthusiastically, happy that her friend was down with trying it out. “C’mon, Viv, play it with us?” Carrie asked. It didn’t take much encouragement. If it made Carrie happy, Vivian was willing to do just about anything, no matter how hokey. Vivian gave the box one last suspicious look, but then she sighed and relented. “Alright, I’m in. It’s gonna be weird, but whatever. Weird is my middle name.” What she didn’t admit was that the image of the happy housewives on the cover seemed almost… interesting? She didn’t have the faintest clue as to why, but Vivian had a hard time avoiding looking at them, no matter how many times she forced her gaze away. “That’s the spirit!” Carrie said. “So, um, how much do I owe you, sir?” she asked the man. “For that one? Just $5.” “Wait, really? Even Monopoly costs, like, $20, and that’s new. This has to be worth more than that, right?” Carrie asked, shocked at how cheap the offer was. “Everything here goes for the original sale price, dear,” the old man said with a smile. “And in 1952, that board game was $5, so $5 it is.” “Alright, awesome!” Carrie said as she handed the man a five dollar bill. “Seriously, mister, thank you so much!” “Thank you, my dear! Have a swell time!” “Believe me, dude, we will!” Linh said with a laugh as she threw her arms around Vivian and Carrie’s shoulders. Carrie picked the box up and hugged it close to her chest again as the three headed to the exit, where Mariah joined them. “You’re forcing me to play that dumbass game with you, aren’t you?” she asked, dreading the answer that she knew was coming. “Yes, yes we are,” Carrie insisted with a bright and cheery smile. She had a wonderful feeling about this game. She hadn’t been this excited in a long, long time. ********************* “Mom! We’re home!” Linh said as the four girls climbed out of Vivian’s black Tesla. Her mother was sitting on the front porch, typing away on a laptop. “Mhm. There’s some leftover pizza in the fridge if you’re hungry. But try to be quiet tonight, okay? It might be my day off, but I still have to review these case notes, and I don’t need any distractions,” Linh’s mother said coldly. “Right. Sorry, mom. We’ll try not to cause too much noise,” Linh said, looking a bit crestfallen for a moment, before she put a smile back on her face and led the others inside. They headed straight up to Linh’s bedroom, on the top floor of the house. She was the only one of the group who lived at home year round, since she lived close to their college, and so her room looked, well, lived in. The bed wasn’t made, and there was a pile of dirty clothes in the corner, which Linh shoved into a closet to deal with later. Meanwhile, Carrie set the board game box down on the white carpet, in the center of the room. Vivian sat to her right, Linh sat to her left, and Mariah sat across from her. Carrie opened the box and set the top off to the side, then pulled out the game board. It was set up to look like an idyllic 1950s suburban neighborhood, with white picket fences and green hedges separating rows of identical houses. The starting point was the local grocery store, and the ending point seemed to be a lively barbecue in someone’s backyard, attended by the whole neighborhood. There was also a small speaker set into the center of the board, though it didn’t seem to have any buttons connected to it. Carrie grabbed the rulebook and started skimming through it, reading aloud for everyone to hear while they all picked out a character piece to represent themselves. The tiny plastic figures were all identical, being little housewives with poofy skirts and beehive hairdos, but they were set apart by their colors. Vivian grabbed the black piece, while Linh grabbed the purple one, and Mariah grabbed the blue one. Vivian picked out the red piece for Carrie, knowing that it was her favorite color. “The Stepford Game. Two to eight players. Roll the dice, yada yada, pick up cards from the appropriate piles… Always read the card out loud… Event spaces, chore spaces, reality spaces, and wardrobe spaces… Fail a chore challenge, get a punishment… First to reach the barbecue wins, but the game doesn’t end until everyone arrives. Sounds simple enough, yeah?” “Yep. So who goes first?” Vivian asked. She still couldn’t believe that they were actually playing this thing. The things she did to make Carrie happy… “It says that we have to roll for turn order,” Carrie explained, after finding the appropriate rule. Carrie got a six, Linh got a five, Vivian a three, and Mariah a two. “Okay, so I go first!” Carrie said with an eager grin. She was hoping that she’d be the first one to get a turn. Carrie shook the dice in her hands and then rolled them along the carpet. She got a four, and so she picked up the little red housewife piece and moved it to the fourth spot, which was marked as a wardrobe space. After double checking the rules to make sure she was supposed to do so, Carrie took the top card off of the wardrobe deck and looked it over. The card had a drawing of a woman’s hand, with long, perfectly manicured nails, which were being lovingly painted. There was also text on the card, which Carrie read for the group. “Fresh Coat of Paint. You spent the afternoon taking care of your precious little digits, and now you’ve got a lovely manicure and a new coat of paint to go with it! Keep good care of those nails, dearie!” A second after she finished reading the card, the speaker in the center of the board played a happy jingle, and Carrie felt a little tingle on the tips of her fingers. When she set the card down, she noticed something peculiar. Her nails, which had been cut short and unpainted just a second ago, were now long, perfectly manicured, and colored cherry red. Her eyes went wide with shock, but she played it off as if nothing odd had happened, and set the card aside, then folded her hands in her lap. Nobody else seemed to notice the sudden change, but she had to wonder… What kind of game had she bought, exactly? “Alright, my turn!” Linh said as she snatched up the dice and tossed them again. A three. “One, two, three… Reality space? What’s that mean?” Linh asked once her game piece landed on the tile. “You’ve gotta draw a reality card,” Carrie said, reading from the rule list. “Here you go.” She picked the top card from that deck and handed it to Linh, who began to read it aloud. “Like Mother, Like Daughter: Being a housewife runs in the family. You grew up with a mother who is the spitting image of a 1950s sitcom housewife, and you’ve always wanted to be just like her when you grew up.” Suddenly, the lights in the room dimmed, and everything was swamped in a strange darkness. The hair on the backs of the girls’ necks stood on end, before the lights flickered back on and everything went back to normal. “Well of course I want to be just like my mom!” Linh said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “She’s always been my role model!” Suddenly, a voice called out from the other room, and then Linh’s mother poked her head in to see how the girls were doing. “Are you girls having fun?” she asked in a voice as sweet as apple pie. Her hair was freshly permed from a trip to the salon that morning, and she was wearing a bright red shirtdress, with a ballooning skirt pushed out by several petticoats, and a white apron tied around her waist. In her hands, she held a tray of chocolate chip cookies. “I baked you some treats, in case you were hungry!” “Thanks mom! You’re the best!” Linh gushed as she took the plate off of her mother’s hands and set it down on her bed. The four young adults all began munching on the cookies with blissful smiles on their faces. Linh’s mom really was the perfect housewife! No wonder she wanted to get married and become a homemaker herself. It was all she ever talked about! Carrie was so happy that her friend had such a caring, doting mother. Even Vivian and Mariah liked Linh’s mom, even though she was so old fashioned. “Your turn, Vivian!” Linh said, handing her the dice. Vivian tossed the dice onto the carpet, and came up with a six. She moved her little black housewife piece six spaces, and ended up on a wardrobe space. Following what Carrie had done earlier, she grabbed the top card off of the pile and looked at it suspiciously. The card had a drawing of a cartoon housewife on it, with natural red hair tied back in a high ponytail. “Dye Job: You spent a day at the salon, and now you’ve got a brand new style. Being a redhead suits you, doesn’t it?” The little speaker on the center of the board played a jaunty little jingle, and all the girls watched Vivian with wide eyes, surprised by what they saw. A wave of light orange-red color swept across Vivian’s hair, from the top of her head down to her shoulders, until her jet black hair was gone, and she looked just like a natural redhead. Even her eyebrows changed color to match! And once that was done, a black ribbon seemed to appear out of thin air, and tied itself around her hair, pulling the bright red locks up into a ponytail, identical to the one on the card. “Uh… Did everyone else just see that?” Mariah asked, unable to break eye contact. It was just too bizarre. “I think she looks nice! You make a cute redhead, Viv!” Linh said with a giggle. “Yeah!” Carrie agreed enthusiastically. “It really suits you.” “No, seriously! Her hair just changed color!” Mariah exclaimed, pointing at Vivian, who was blushing a bit. “Well, yeah, it did. But it’s cute!” Linh giggled. “Maybe it’s a magic board game?” Carrie proposed. The idea had been swimming around in her head since her turn, when her nails had transformed. She took a deep breath and held up her hands for everyone to see. “My nails changed too, after I drew my card. See? They were normal before, but now they’re manicured, just like the card said,” Carrie explained. Vivian looked a bit relieved, seeing that she wasn’t the only one who had been affected. “Magic?” Mariah asked, baffled. “You think you bought a magic board game?” “Do you have a better idea?” Vivian asked. For her, the idea of a magic board game wasn’t absurd at all. She was Wiccan, and so magic was perfectly normal in her mind. “Old games like these, someone might have cursed it or something.” “So we’re playing a cursed board game, and you’re all just… Fine with that?” “Well… If you find a magic board game, why not?” Carrie asked. “It’s like something out of a movie!” “I guess…” Mariah said. Still, she wasn’t sure this was the best idea. “But if this game goes all Jumanji on us, I’m out.” “My only question is why nothing happened to Linh,” Vivian said, looking at their unaffected friend. “Carrie’s nails were painted, and my hair changed color, but Linh’s card just said a fact about her life. Right now, that’s the weird part.” “Well, it is a reality card, so maybe it knows something about the players, and is saying it?” Linh offered as an explanation. It made about as much sense as anything else. ��But seriously, though, Vivian’s hair is SO. CUTE. I love it, Viv!” “Um… thanks, I think?” Vivian said. She could feel the change as it occurred, the tingle that swept across her whole body, wherever she had hair. But she wasn’t upset by the transformation, for some reason. Logically, she could just dye it black again if she really wanted to. And really, it just didn’t bother her. “My turn, then,” Mariah said as she grabbed the dice and rolled, scared of what might happen. With any luck, she’d get a reality space like Linh, and she’s just get a card that talked about how she nearly flunked her statistics course. But no, she got a one, and groaned in frustration. She moved the blue housewife forward one space, onto a wardrobe tile. Vivian handed her a card, which Mariah read out in a worried tone, cursing her poor luck. “A Gift From The Hubby. Your husband bought you a pretty new dress, and it would be terribly rude not to try it on for your date night!” Again, there was a cartoon housewife on the card, though this one looked more like Mariah, with long dreadlocks and dark brown skin. She was wearing a fancy, low cut evening dress, made of a seafoam green satin, with a full skirt and a sheer silver shawl. Once again, the speaker on the board played its jingle, but this time the effect was much more pronounced. Mariah’s clothing vanished in the blink of an eye, but she was only nude for a split second before the outfit from the card had entered the real world and wormed its way onto Mariah’s body. “What just happened?!” Mariah asked, alarmed. Carrie and Vivian were both similarly shocked, but Linh just smiled and patted Mariah on the lap. “What a gorgeous dress! It looks just like the one my mom wears when she goes out to dinner with daddy!” “Yeah, b-but what happened to my jersey?!” Mariah exclaimed, jumping to her feet. “Girls, seriously, this game, i-it’s not normal! Just look at what it did to me! What it did to Vivian’s hair!” “I don’t really mind my hair…” Vivian mumbled, missing the point entirely. “Mariah, calm down, okay?” Carrie pleaded, placing her hand over Mariah’s. “I’m sure this’ll all go back to normal once the game is over, okay? That’s what the rules say, at least.” “Really? You’re sure?” Mariah asked, still very uneasy, and not at all comfortable wearing the fancy vintage dress. She sat down slowly, her petticoats rustling as she awkwardly sat down cross legged on the floor. Her skirt flounced upwards, and ruffly petticoats poked out from beneath it’s hem. Clearly, she wasn’t used to sitting down in dresses. “Yeah, I’m sure. Like I said… The rules say this is all temporary,” Carrie lied. She couldn’t wait to see what happened next.

[guardians-of-exo]

Hey, I just met you (and this is crazy)

For: Anon ❤️

Request: Baekhyun goes to a sports game with his bf/gf and there’s a kiss cam but he’s ignored, so he kisses the stranger on the other side of him (that’s Chanyeol obviously).

Word count: 1731

Oh my god, I have wanted to write this exact prompt for so long but have never gotten around to do it, so thank you so much! And ChanBaek is my ultimate weakness, this couldn’t be any better! I’ve tried something a little new, a writing style I’ve not really done before so I hope you like it!

(The girlfriend is not supposed to be anyone, I just googled some names and liked this one.)

~ M

(Part 2)

  “Come on, we have to hurry if we want anything to eat before we find our seats,” Baekhyun sighed, trying to hurry up his girlfriend for the nth time that day. She was the reason they had gotten out of the door late in the first place and it seemed she still had all the time in the world.

Baekhyun had gotten them tickets to go watch their favourite basketball team play, basketball being something they both used to enjoy watching together. Their relationship had… hit some bumps lately and Baekhyun wanted to do something nice for them to try and find the spark again. Jinah’s reaction had been a little flat and not what Baekhyun had hoped for, but he was still excited nonetheless.

He was holding her hand, trying to gently drag her forward without seeming too impatient, though he really was starting to get annoyed now. He really wanted to get some snacks but the lines in front of the booths were miles long and there wasn’t much time until the game started. And Jinah was on her phone as usual – she had been nonstop for weeks now, nose buried in the screen as she texted god knows who.

It was hard not to jump to conclusions, but Baekhyun was not a quitter and they really had been so happy when they first got together. He was not going to give up that easily.

  “What do you want to eat?” he asked, looking around at the different booths. The popcorn one had the shortest line, so it was probably going to end up being that. When she didn’t answer, he looked back, not at all surprised to find her on her phone. His face fell a little, disappointed that she didn’t seem to care at all for his attempt to give them a nice date. Why was he even trying?

He wasn’t looking where he was walking, so he didn’t see the young man he was about to walk into and only noticed when he suddenly found himself lying flat on the ground, someone falling heavily on top of him. Baekhyun wheezed out an apology but got cut short when his eyes met the stranger’s.

It was a boy, or young man more like, around his own age. His face was right in Baekhyun’s personal space so it was impossible to miss how handsome he was, a drool-worthy jaw and gorgeous almond shaped eyes. Baekhyun felt a little breathless as they stared at each other. The stranger was openly gawking at him, eyes running over his face, down to his chest and back up, eyes wide and surprised and a blush rising up his neck.

Though he was very flattered and didn’t really mind his own view, his ass was really starting to hurt so he cleared his throat, smiling a little awkwardly.

The stranger flushed red and quickly got up, muttering a string of apologies (wow wow wow talk about a deep voice) as he held a hand out for Baekhyun to take. Baekhyun let himself be pulled up and – oh wow tall tall tall. He’s wearing a tank top, oh holy mother of biceps his arms!

Now it was Baekhyun’s turn to openly gawk. The handsome stranger was several inches taller than Baekhyun, his red-dyed hair tucked under a snapback, his large ears sticking out quite adorably, and he was wearing a basketball top that showed off the most toned arms Baekhyun had ever seen and he felt a little creepy for wanting to cup a feel.

The handsome giant was grinning embarrassedly, rubbing the back of his neck as Baekhyun stared at him, and he was about to say something when Baekhyun’s girlfriend stepped over and grabbed Baekhyun’s hand again.

  “Come on, weren’t you the one just saying we were in a hurry?” she said sourly. Baekhyun snapped out of his trance, feeling terrible as he saw the stranger’s eyes trail down to where she was holding Baekhyun’s hand, his face falling noticeably.

Baekhyun wanted to say something, anything, but didn’t get the chance as Jinah started dragging him away. As Baekhyun looked back over his shoulder, he saw the handsome giant looking after them dejectedly, shoulders slumped slightly. In another life, Baekhyun thought, feeling something squeeze in his chest.  

He let Jinah drag him for a while until he had to get out the tickets and they found their seats. As soon as they sat down, Jinah was back on her phone and Baekhyun sat there, bored to death. He wished he had at least gotten something to eat but there was no way he could get back before the game started. So much for a nice date.

Right before the game started, the empty seats beside Baekhyun were taken by a group of boys around his own age. He looked over and came face to face with a surprised familiar face – the handsome giant. What are the odds? Baekhyun thought, feeling something a lot like happiness bubble in his chest.

  “Oh, hello again,” he greeted with his best smile.

  “Hi,” the stranger mumbled, eyes flicking over to Jinah and back to Baekhyun for a second before he turned to his friends, his back now to a disappointed Baekhyun.

Baekhyun didn’t really know why, but he just wanted to get to know him. There was a pull, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. But it seemed the handsome giant was hellbent on ignoring Baekhyun and his girlfriend, him and his friends having a blast during the game while Baekhyun was wondering why he even went.

Jinah was on her phone the whole time, only looking up every once in a while whenever there was a loud cheer from the crowd and Baekhyun honestly felt… lonely. Why did I even come here?

Too caught up in sulking, he missed how the handsome stranger would look over whenever Baekhyun wasn’t looking, observing the pouting boy with something that looked like concern.

As Baekhyun glanced over at Jinah again, he suddenly felt angry. Why should she ruin something he enjoyed? Just because she didn’t want to be here, didn’t mean he couldn’t have a good time. So he tuned out his uninterested girlfriend and really got into the game instead, cheering and screaming along with everyone else, dancing around whenever his team scored. I don’t need anybody else to have fun!

During a timeout, Baekhyun fell back into his seat, his feet starting to hurt from standing and jumping on the spot. Suddenly ‘Call me maybe’ sounded over the loudspeakers and the kiss cam showed up on the game screen. Baekhyun watched slightly jealous as it panned over multiple happy couples that would get embarrassed and giggle before giving in to the cheers, kissing each other sweetly.

He looked up again and came face to face with himself on the giant screen, his girlfriend beside him obviously still texting.

  “Jinah look!” he said excitedly, lightly pulling on Jinah’s sleeve to get her attention.

She batted his hand away, not even looking up. “Not right not Baekhyun,” she muttered, completely focused on her screen.

  “But Jinah-“

  “Not now, Baekhyun,” she hissed, getting irritated, swatting his hand away again.

Feeling hurt and mortified at getting rejected in front of the entire crowd, Baekhyun felt like disappearing into the ground. He looked around, face burning as he found everyone staring at him with pity and he wanted to scream at them to look away. His eyes suddenly met with the handsome stranger, who was looking at him concerned and an idea popped into Baekhyun’s head.

He smirked, cocking his head, eyeing the giant up and down. The boy had obviously been into him before, so what could it hurt? Oh well, it can’t get any worse anyway so might as well go for it.

And so he leaned over and planted a kiss right on the stranger’s lips, Baekhyun’s hand cupping his jaw to keep him still. The boy made a noise of surprise, body freezing completely but Baekhyun was insistent, applying a little more pressure to try and encourage him to kiss back.

Finally, the handsome giant seemed to get his mind working again, his body melting into the kiss and oh hello, he’s good at kissing too!

Vaguely aware of the whole arena cheering loudly for them, Baekhyun leaned in closer, nearly toppling over until the stranger put his hands on Baekhyun’s hips, steadying the shorter boy. Oh god, his hands are so big.

His hands stayed respectfully right above Baekhyun’s pants line, but Baekhyun was damned if he wouldn’t get to feel them where he really wanted before the day was over. Baekhyun took the opportunity to feel up his arms and his filthy mind started working overdrive. So many opportunities.

What sounded a lot like his girlfriend was screaming at him somewhere behind him, but Baekhyun really couldn’t care less. He was honestly having the best kiss of his life, the handsome giant seemingly eager to try and make Baekhyun forget all about his girlfriend. And boy was it working.

Eventually, the stranger pulled away, Baekhyun letting out a small whine, chasing after his lips. I wasn’t done yet! But when it became clear he wasn’t going to get any more kisses, he opened his eyes. They were both panting, the boy staring at him with wide, hopeful eyes, face beet red as the crowd around them was still cheering loudly. His hands were still on Baekhyun’s waist and Baekhyun very much intended on keeping them there.

  “Baekhyun what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Oh yeah, she’s still here. Baekhyun sighed and looked back over his shoulder. “Getting myself a boyfriend, I hope,” he said, rolling his eyes at her shrieking. “We’re over, obviously.”

He turned back to the handsome giant and smirked, leaning in closer. “Wanna get out of here?”

The boy nodded eagerly, looking all kinds of starstruck as Baekhyun pulled him up from his seat. His friends were hollering loudly behind them as Baekhyun started dragging him towards the exit, the taller boy stumbling to try and keep up with him.

As they reached the outside of the stadium, Baekhyun pressed the tall stranger up against the nearest wall and pulled him down into a deep kiss before pulling back with a smirk.

  “I’m Baekhyun by the way.”

  “Chanyeol.”   

(Part 2)

[toomanysurveys9]

How much time do you spend putting on makeup daily?: usually i don’t spend any time on makeup. on the rare occasion i wear it, maybe 5-10 minutes.. i don’t wear much...

Do you own a webcam?: there is a built in webcam on my computer.

What is your favorite perfume, fragrance, cologne?: i like the blackheart perfume from hot topic..

What does your favorite jacket look like?: i don’t have a favorite jacket.

Have you ever been to Savannah, Georgia?: i don’t think so.

On average, about how many notecards do you think you use per month?: none.

Did you watch Barney when you were younger?: yeah. i used to be obsessed with him.

Do you have a drink sitting nearby that is yours?: my water bottle. that has water in it.

How many bracelets do you wear on average?: usually none.

How many lightbulbs are currently on in your room?: none.

Have you ever heard of a band called The Afters?: i think i’ve heard of them. i don’t know if i’ve heard any of their music though.

Do you play any instruments?: not well enough to answer yes.

Have you ever worn faux eyelashes?: i have not.

What is the shortest that you’ve ever cut your hair?: a little bit past my chin.

What is your favorite flag from any country?: i don’t really have a favorite..

What type of cell phone service do you have?: xfinity. they use verizon towers.

Is it true that ginger ale can help cure a stomach ache?: i don’t know that it really cures it but it can help i feel like.

How many pairs of glasses (not sunglasses) have you owned?: none. i have never needed them.

What color is your flash-drive?: black and red.

Do you own any of those thick rubber bracelets? not anymore. i used to.

Have you ever built a sand castle?: oh yeah. many, many times.

When listening to a song, what do you listen for (lyrics, bass, beat, etc)?: lyrics and rhythm mostly.

Do you own more than 20 guitar picks?: i do not.

Have you ever worn a bandanna?: when i was a lot younger. What is the color of your toothbrush?: mostly pink.

Do you wish you owned a ray gun?: can’t say i ever thought about owning one of those.

What is your favorite color(s) of eye-makeup?: natural colors for eye shadow... and then black for eyeliner and mascara.

Do you own a pair of white converse?: i do not.

Are pink erasers really all that great?: i never really cared about erasers or their colors..

Have you ever worn a thumb ring?: i have not.

Is Katy Perry overrated?: i mean, i’m not really a fan, but i don’t know if she’s overrated.

Have you ever tried a Root Beer barrel?: i have not.

Do you agree with the phrase, “Hugs! Not drugs!”?: i mean... whatever.

What is the longest pair of earrings you own?: i don’t think i even own any earrings.

What brand of TV do you own?: i’m not sure what jacob’s tv is. i don’t actually own one myself.

Do you like My Chemical Romance’s album, Danger Days?: i don’t have that one, so i don’t know.

What is the color of your bedroom walls?: uh. tan-ish with a green accent wall thing.

How often do you use sharpies?: like, once every few months or something?

Why is there always a light in the fridge but not the freezer?: i don’t know.

Do you have a subscription to Alternative Press?: i do not.

Are high school football games fun?: i only went to a couple. they’re not my most favorite thing in the world. never have been.

Do you think Kanye West is a dick?: i guess he can be. but i don’t know. i don’t pay that much attention to him.

Do you own a dog?: we have two dogs. although we are probably going to have to find cocoa a new home because she keeps starting fights with phe and the last thing we need is to take another dog to the emergency vet.

At what size do ear gauges become gross?: when they super stretch out someone’s ear lobes.

How many concert posters do you own?: none.

You walk into Starbucks. What do you want to order?: small caramel frappuccino. i rarely order anything from starbucks though. it’s so expensive.

What type of car are you in most?: my parents’ toyota.

Is there a cork board in your bedroom?: nope.

Are you currently using a laptop?: i am.

Do you obsess over the Super Bowl on a yearly basis?: i do not. i’m not all that into football, or any sports.

What color is the shirt you are currently wearing?: mostly dark gray.

If you wear a necklace, do you keep it on for over a month?: i don’t really wear necklaces much.. but i don’t usually wear them that long without taking them off.

What is your favorite type of flower?: lilacs. but i love any pretty colored flowers. :)

How old will you be in 15 months? twenty-six.

Who was the last person who texted you? jacob. he just now told me he wants clothes washed before he gets home so he has shorts to play basketball and whatever else...

What is your current status? like, relationship status? i’m married.

What are you listening to? the kiddos playing and ashley is watching law and order: svu.

What are your plans for tomorrow? not a thing besides paying bills.

Who is the last person you had a face to face conversation with? i told lilli not to plug in the vacuum (wyatt is playing with it - all the toys and he wants the things that aren’t toys lol).

Do you believe in love at first sight? something like that. i’m a mom. i loved my babies before i actually saw them. but i don’t believe in romantic love at first sight.

Was yesterday better than today? not really. but it wasn’t really bad either.

What did your last text message say? i was just telling jacob that his clothes should be done right around six, which is when he gets off, and that i loved him.

Do you prefer to call or text? text. calls kind of freak me out.

What’s the nearest green object to you? there is some green on some of the toys not too far from me.

What were you doing at 12 am last night? i think i was sleeping by then?

When is the last time you saw your mom? a few hours ago.

Have you kissed someone in the last 2 weeks? i have.

How many houses have you lived in? at least nine, but it’s actually been a few more than that even (including trailers and apartments)...

What are you doing for your next birthday? i have no idea and it’s only a little over a week away.

What is your favorite color? blue, black, and gray.

What are you thinking about right now? that lilli is being especially frustrating today.

Any plans for this weekend? saturday i might be meeting two cousins - my grandpa finally found his twins that he has been searching for for years. unfortunately, terry passed away a few months before grandpa found them... jerry is still living. but we are probably meeting terry’s kids this weekend. either tomorrow or saturday. and saturday kayla’s parents rented a cabin for her for her birthday, so she invited jacob, wy, and me to go hangout with her there which we said we would do. jacob and kayla have plans of getting trashed. so i’m not sure what wy and i will be doing. but brittany and john will also be there, and brittany is also pregnant, so i won’t be the only sober one at least. i might drive wy and myself home when things start getting too crazy.

Do you have anything bothering you? not really at the moment.

Do you smile often? i smile a lot more now that wyatt is around. he’s the light of my life.

When was the last time you cried? i don’t remember.

Have you ever had a life threatening injury? not injury, no. i’ve had illnesses/health things that almost killed me though.

Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? nope.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? yeah. but it’s been a long time, thank goodness. being up that long straight isn’t my favorite. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? nope. i sleep with wy and jacob. i’m kind of excited for our room to get finished so i can start transferring wy to his own bed, and then his own room, before ellie is born. How often do you remember your dreams? pretty often, which kind of sucks sometimes. because they get weird, and sometimes just plain bad.

What is the main ring tone on your phone? just some preset ring tone.

What is something that you do too much? procrastinate.

Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth? yeah. i do.

Are there any hobbies you have that you don’t perform in front of others? i mean. i don’t read for other people, but i will read with people around. but nothing comes to mind that i wouldn’t do ever around people. What’s one bad or inconvenient habit you used to have but no longer do? i haven’t self-harmed in a very long time. the urge still arises though. sometimes it’s strong. but i don’t because my babies. Do you find it difficult to kick a habit or a routine that’s detrimental? yeah. kind of. When was the last time you had a particularly hectic day? when we closed on our house on june 28th.

How often is your schedule busier than you would like for it to be? rarely. we rarely have anywhere to go or anyone to come over. Is there anyone in your life who expects a lot out of you? i mean, jacob kind of does. he expects me to do EVERYTHING besides actually get a job outside the home, and that will probably be added to the list after ellie is born. but i already work myself to complete exhaustion... he goes to work and then goes out with friends or comes home and plays video games. if he sees wy needs anything, i’m told. plus i have to make sure he (jacob) is fed, has work clothes, pack his lunch, etc. and eliana isn’t even here yet.. Are you more inclined to listen to your own intuition and/or desires, or to be persuaded by the suggestions and coercion of others? eh. i guess my own intuition. i’m not really around people for the suggestions and stuff. Where’s one place you’ve spent a lot of time lately? home. which isn’t all bad because i love our house. just gets a little lonely i suppose sometimes. Is there anywhere you wish you could spend more time? not really. What do you do when you simply don’t know what to do? try to get wy to play. lol. Are there any choices that make you particularly indecisive? where to get food. or what to make for dinner. lol. When was the last time you felt you were in an impossible situation where, despite what you did, you couldn’t win? when we thought we weren’t going to be able to get this house. What’s something weird that you do when you’re alone? i don’t know that i do anything weird, besides these. and i’m technically not alone when i do them... people are around. How did you find out about your current favorite band? i don’t know that i really have a favorite these days. Where are you most likely to go when you need clothing? walmart. close and inexpensive. Is anything significant weighing on your mood right now? not really, no. When was the last time you tried to do something yet failed? i don’t know. Does failure bother you much, or do you just try again? it bothers me. so very much. i want to do well in all things i do, so if i fail or feel as though i didn’t do good enough, it really messes with my head.. Do you think your life is comprised more of success or failure? more success than failure, i think. What does success mean to you personally? when you work hard to accomplish something, and do that thing satisfactorily i guess, if that makes sense. Does your definition differ from the general consensus? i don’t know. maybe. What’s one personality trait you clearly exemplify? shyness. What’s one personality trait that’s not strong in you? outgoing. Are you a difficult individual to get to know? i’m kind of more difficult to get to know now than i used to be i think. i’ve been used and let down so many times.. lied to.. it just doesn’t seem all that worth it i guess anymore? When was the last time you opened up to someone and about what? i don’t remember. it’s been awhile. probably jade and some of the issues i’ve been dealing with with jacob... To whom do you feel the most important? wyatt and eliana. What makes someone especially important to you? i don’t really know.. the people who are important to me are my kids, husband, rest of my family, and a couple friends. i feel like the reasons would be pretty obvious. When was the last time you changed your mind? today. i thought about walking to the store but then decided not to since wyatt was too tired. Is there something you want but might not ever have? a job that i really love.... when i’m ready/can go to work. i’m content to take care of my littles for the time being. What’s something you’re working to obtain? i don’t know.. How do you console yourself when you’re distraught? i don’t really. my coping skills are definitely lacking.

What last occurred to make you feel particularly bitter? i don’t know. i guess jacob just leaving and not even having to worry about wy..

How would you describe the most interesting cloud-shape you’ve witnessed? my favorite was one that was shaped as a dog running. Do you tend to enjoy your dreams? not so much. most are nightmares or just plain weird. What would you do if you did not require sleep? i don’t know. probably read more... maybe surveys. maybe watch movies or tv. probably definitely read. Are there any projects or goals you’ve recently abandoned? none come to mind. i haven’t really started any projects or anything. What in life serves to keep you going? my kids. How frequently, if ever, do you want to give up? pretty often. but i can’t. i have little ones that need me. What was the last good news you received? the last good news i got was that my grandma gets to come home today! she’s been in the hospital for a couple days for testing because they are afraid she had a stroke or TIA... i also found out i do not have gestational diabetes today, too, which was also very good news. What’re some of the important things around you? things... i guess that would be my phone. i’m still paying it off. and my computer. it has a lot of pictures. How long has your favorite song been your favorite? i don’t know what would be my favorite song right now. lol. During which time of day are you at your best? i guess the afternoon. i’m usually not overly tired at that point yet. Are you more inclined to appreciate sweet or savory foods? usually more savory, but there are some sweet things i crave and whatnot. When’s the next time you’ll cook a meal? i don’’t know. Do you prefer more hot or cold types of food? depends on my mood and what the food is. How about hot or cold types of beverages? usually cold.

What’s one disgusting habit you have or have had? i didn’t shower as much as i necessarily should have when i was younger just because i couldn’t get myself to care about anything. Do you tend to be harder on yourself than you need to be? oh definitely. About what are you exceptionally confident or self-assured? that i’m a good mom to my kids. and i make some awesome pancakes. lol. Who last told you to do something and did you do it? jacob told me to do his laundry, and it’s drying as we speak. What was the last situation or person you “got over?” i don’t know that i’ve gotten over anything or anyone lately... work in progress. Are you generally good at letting go of people who’re bad for you? not usually. Have you ever felt as though you were unrecognizable to yourself? pretty often, yes. What’re some things people could guess by looking at you? i’m tired. lol.

Are you bothered by any of your physical features? my weight. my overall face.

Are romantic relationships important to you at this point in your life? well, yes. not that it seems all that important to him.

Who was the last person to apologize to you for something they did? i don’t remember.

[readingraebow]

Everything is Illuminated Section One

An Overture to the Commencement of a Very Rigid Journey - The Dial, 1941-1804-1941

1. Have you ever read this book before or seen the movie? If not, what do you know of the story? I have not read this book or seen the movie though my best friend in high school was obsessed with it. Her favorite actor was Liev Schreiber and he directed this movie so she watched it a lot though I never got around to watching it with her. And she read the book and loved it and told me to read it. So I bought it but, uh, never actually read it. Though if it's anything like Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, it's probably absolutely bananas but also amazing. And I honestly don't know anything about it. Though I was just reading some of the little review blurbs on the first few pages and apparently it's about the Holocaust?? That is actual proof that I know nothing about this book. But I'm very excited to get started with it!!

2. Where did Alex’s grandfather work and why is he coming out of retirement? I honestly don't remember reading the answer to the first part of this question and flipping back through, I couldn't find it soooo stealing part of Lizzy's answer (because I'm bad at things). He was a driver for Heritage Touring and he comes out of retirement to drive around The Hero (who is also the author; way to write yourself as a character into your own book *slow claps*) who has come to the Ukraine to search for the village where his grandfather lived and a woman named Augustine who saved his grandfather's life during the war and, thus, allowed him to exist.

3. Why did Yankel’s wife leave him? How did she break the news to him? She left him for another man and he just comes home to find a note on the door that says "I had to do it for myself." And the part that mystifies him is that it was so simple for her. He says that she was the love of his life but apparently that wasn't the case for her. She just left the note tacked to the door like she'd done with other notes with things for him to do or messages that she'd stepped out and would be right back. But leaving him is something much bigger and it hadn't seemed like a hard decision for her. And, yet, for him there wasn't really anyone else. He never married again.

4. What is Brod’s role in the parade? Have you ever been in a parade before? Brod is the most beautiful girl in Trachimbrod so she's the Float Queen. Basically this means she dresses up as a mermaid and rides in the parade. And then she throws sacks in to the river after which she was named and a bunch of men jump in to try to find the sacks and one of them finds the winning sack which has a bunch of money in it. And I have actually! I've been in 6. The first was in New Mexico. We had a family reunion on my grandmother's side (but I was a kid so I think it was her father's siblings and their descendants but I don't quite remember) and we had a float in their parade. I was like 5 or something so I just remember wearing a pinafore and pretending to stir a pot while I tried super hard not to fall off the float, haha. And then four times were when I was in band and marched. My hometown has two parades every year, one for Christmas and one for our annual festival in May, and I played flue in three of those. In one of them I got to hold the banner (and, thus, didn't have to play an instrument while walking in step which I was supremely bad at and hated). And, honestly, I don't really like parades so that was one of the reasons why I quit band, haha. And I'm also kind of glad I don't really have to go to parades anymore. Though, that being said, the last time I was in a parade was in October when I visited my aunt and helped her out with their Apple Days festival (which she conveniently didn't tell me I was working, haha) and so I walked with her and helped corral all the kids who had won the Johnny Appleseed contest and were riding around us on bikes. Thankfully, that was the world's shortest parade because I am also not great at corralling children, haha. So basically I don't have great luck with parades.

5. What happens to Brod on her way home from the parade? What does she discover when she finally arrives? I think she's raped? In the chapter before that, she sees a page of what will become her story and it mentions that she was raped and then that's mentioned again, in passing, at the beginning of the chapter when she's riding on the float. So then, when she's coming home from the parade she has to evade all of the drunks who are lusting after her and she comes home to find Yankel dead on the floor. And then outside the window, she sees the guy who won the sack contest staring at her. And basically that's where it stops? So it implies that she was raped but it never goes into detail. And it was right after she found Yankel dead. What a horrible day for her O.O

6. What is Alex saving his money for? He's saving his money to move to America. He says he keeps all of his money in the cookie jar in the kitchen which is safe because it's been ten years since his mother made cookies. He reasons that when the cookie jar is full, he'll have enough money to move to America. But he wants to be sure he has enough money for a really nice apartment in Times Square that is big enough for him and Little Igor and will have a large-screen tv to watch basketball, a jacuzzi, and a hi-fi. (Somehow I don't think a cookie jar full of money will be enough for all of that but okay.) He also asks Jonathan to send him articles about America (sports, movies, girls & accounting schools) so he can learn more about it for when he moves there.

7. How does the search for Trachimbrod go? Super not well. Sammy Davis Junior Junior ends up eating all of Jonathan's papers, including the map, so they have no idea where they're going. So they ask someone for directions and he's never heard of Trachimbrod so he gives them a general direction to go and tells them when they get close, someone should be able to tell them where to find it. Except everyone else they stop to ask says they also haven't heard of it. So they just end up driving around, waiting for someone to have actually heard of Trachimbrod. So, finally, they stop and ask this woman and she says she hasn't heard of it either but something in her tone says otherwise. And when Alex shows her the photograph, she says no but he says it sounds like a different kind of no. So he just keeps asking her if she knows anyone in the picture and she keeps saying no. And then finally he asks if anyone in the picture knows her. And then she says "I have been waiting for you for so long." And Alex points at the car and tells her they're searching for Trachimbrod. And she says "You are here. I am it." So Trachimbrod is apparently a person????? 8. What happens to the Kolker after he gets the job at the mill? Brod had a feeling that something bad would happen to him so she didn't want him to go to work and tried to stop him. But he went anyway and a saw blade ended up flying off its bearing and basically ricocheted around the room before finally embedding itself perpendicular in the top of the Kolker's head. It didn't kill him though. In fact, it didn't injure him at all except for the creation of violent mood swings. It basically created a second, very angry personality who would yell awful things at everyone and caused him to start beating Brod. This was completely unlike his normal personality and he couldn't control the violent side. After something would happen, he would apologize profusely and sometimes even ask what had happened. But, anyway, it created a more violent side which sent him to every doctor to try to get it stopped. However, the only way to stop it would be to remove the blade which would probably kill him. So instead, he just decided to sleep in a separate bedroom for the last year of his life which caused him to stop beating Brod but also meant that the last year of their marriage had them living almost entirely apart and communicating only through a hole cut between the two rooms.

  Section One Reading Journal

What on earth did I just read????? So this is easily the strangest book I’ve ever read. And I’m not even done yet. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close is one of my absolute favorite books and even though it’s a mess, it’s a really weird, enjoyable mess that kind of grabs you and makes you want to figure out where this is going. That’s not really how I feel about this book?? I just-- I don’t know. This one is so weird.

As of right now, I can’t really keep any of the characters straight (especially since everyone keeps changing names?????? What even???) except for Brod and Jonathan and Alex (though I literally didn’t know his name was Alex; I thought it was Sasha). I’m just really, really not following this book? I do finally have the three stories kind of straight though it seems like they’re all actually one story, just told on a very non-linear timeline.

I just-- I really don’t know what I think about this book. I feel like I will like it more after I finish it because it seems like it will be something really, really amazing when it all comes together. So I think this is one of those that’s a complete mess the first time around but once you get it (and maybe even read it again or watch the movie-- so at least have ~some kind of second interaction with it), it’s really great. I’m hoping that’s how I’ll feel. But right now, I’m just really not loving it.

Though the writing is, as always, super beautiful and there are lots of really great quotes. And Alex not understanding how words work is really hilarious. And no one understanding that Jonathan is a vegetarian is also hilarious. Especially that they won’t let you make modifications to orders??? Like you can’t just not make meat??? How is that hard???? That seems easier to me. But okay then.

So yeah. Some parts of this book I’m really enjoying. But some parts are just super weird and very confusing. Including all of Brom’s life. It seemed like her husband was the one who raped her but apparently he was coming to save her/check on her/came to the parade to meet her??? And she genuinely loved him. All of that could’ve been just *a little bit* clearer. Because I was so totally confused. And that’s how pretty much all of her story has gone.

But, anyway, I’m hoping the rest of this book will clear up everything we’ve read so far. I remember Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close being super weird the fist time around too but I don’t remember it being downright confusing. I don’t remember spending half the book wondering what was happening and if I’d ever feel like I wasn’t totally lost. So I have high hopes for the second half and I can’t wait to get into it!

(Also, as a weird side note, this book reminds me a lot of Chuck Palahniuk’s Pygmy. That one was also “written by” someone who could barely speak English and was hard as hell to get into but, in my opinion, it was honestly well worth it. It was kind of a headache to read at first but once you got used to it, it got a lot better. And that’s one of my absolute favorite Chuck books. So that’s kind of why I’m thinking this one might turn out the same way. I’m having lots of flashbacks to reading that one, haha.)

[singingisfun]

Accidents Happen - Chapter 2

Hello lovely readers! No, you're not seeing things. I'm back! Nearly two years later, I've finally finished the second part to this story - never say I don't keep my promises!

Many of you requested a follow-up and here it is... finally. It's the same story as the first chapter, only now it's from Emma's perspective. If you haven't read part one, you might want to before reading this one (sorry, I don’t have the tumblr link for that). I added some scenes and expanded on some others and I really hope everyone enjoys it.

Thanks for all the incredible reviews and comments. And for those of you waiting for the next chapter of Changing Tides, I promise I'm working on it and I will finish that story as well (and like I said, I keep my promises - no matter how long they take).

Enjoy!

AO3

ff.net

Emma enters her apartment and immediately kicks off her shoes – the damn things have crushed her toes until she’s afraid she might see blood if she looks down, but it was worth it.  That bastard with the smart-ass mouth – ‘What would you know about family?’ – is behind bars where he belongs and her checking account is thankful for it.  

She limps toward the kitchen, stretching her aching feet with each step and carefully lays the bakery bag in her hand down on the counter.  She empties the contents and grabs a lighter, placing the blue star-shaped candle precisely in the middle of her treat and lighting it.

"Another banner year," Emma whispers to her empty apartment, leaning over and watching the glow of the lone candle on her cupcake. She didn't buy a whole cake. Why would she when there wouldn't be anyone else to have a piece?  This cupcake is the perfect size for someone like her.

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes.

I wish I didn't have to be alone.

It’s an impossible wish and she knows it.  It’s not like someone is going to come knocking on her door out of the blue. Still, she blows out the air in her mouth and opens her eyes.  The candle is no longer lit, smoke billowing up from the blackened wick, and she stares at it for a moment, waiting for… something.  Of course, nothing happens and she sighs to herself. 

What a way to spend a birthday. 

Huffing out a breath, she straightens and her eyes catch her image in the mirror across the way.

And what are you going to do about it, Emma? she thinks in irritation.  You know the only person who can do anything about it is you, so get your ass out of this apartment and do something.

She picks a little bar she's never been to before.  It's small and cozy and nothing like the meat markets she usually frequents when she's looking for company for the night.  A quick glance around the room tells her maybe she should have gone somewhere else.  The place is practically empty but she approaches the bar anyway and orders a drink because while some of her other haunts would definitely provide a variety of choices, she's just not in the mood to listen to thumping bass tonight.

The bartender is a sweet, portly guy who smiles appreciatively at her without leering.  She likes him instantly.  In between waiting on the few other customers in the place, he strikes up a conversation with her, telling her cute little anecdotes about his wife and daughter and she's suddenly very happy she picked this little hole-in-the-wall for her evening.  It’s laid back and easy and she realizes this is exactly what she needed, just casual conversation with another human being.

She's sipping at her second rum and diet coke when he walks in. 

He's alone, which strikes her as odd because the guy is absolutely gorgeous, jet black hair and immaculately trimmed scruff, but she just figures he's meeting someone.  He sits at the other end of the bar and orders a beer.  When he glances her way, he doesn't leer either, which solidifies her suspicion that he's probably waiting on a woman.

The bartender makes small talk with him as well while the guy munches on some peanuts.  He seems nice.  Normal.  Not some sleazeball out for a wild night of partying, just a guy waiting on his girlfriend while chatting quietly with the bartender and watching the basketball game on the TV behind the bar. 

She smiles to herself when she hears the bartender start talking about his daughter’s obsession with fairy tales and jokingly says that if he hears ‘Let it Go’ one more time he might throw his DVD player through the window. The guy chuckles softly and she doesn’t know how it happens but suddenly she’s sucked into a debate on which Disney movie is best.  

The next thing she knows, the guy is sitting next to her defending Peter Pan’s Captain Hook like he’s personally affronted by the pirate’s villain status. And for the first time in several years, she realizes she’s actually smiling – not the calculating smile she uses to lure a mark in, not the fake smile she uses when she’s on the prowl – but a real smile, the kind that makes your cheeks ache because you can’t seem to stop.  And not only smiling but laughing because the guy, Killian is his name, admits sheepishly that Peter Pan is his favorite movie of all time.  

They move on to other subjects after that, the basketball game that’s still playing, the recent storms that left half the city in darkness…  She keeps expecting a woman to walk in and join him but the night goes on and no one shows.  She’s surprised and a little disappointed when the bartender announces last call because she doesn’t want to give up his company just yet.  He hasn’t made a move, hasn’t so much as casually put his arm on the back of her chair.  So it’s a complete shock when they’re standing on the sidewalk outside, both waiting for cabs, that he surges forward and kisses her like he needs to breathe.

His eyes are soft (and did she mention stunningly blue?) when they break apart, his fingers running through her hair as their noses bump.  She knows she’s playing with fire when she suggests going to his place but, fuck it, it’s her birthday and it seems she’s gotten her wish to not be alone.

It’s easily the most incredible one-nighter she’s ever had.  

His eyes burn with passion one moment and melt with tenderness the next.  And it scares her because she’s never felt something like this before.  She’s never wanted to take her time and enjoy the foreplay he lavishes on her.  She’s never watched a lover’s eyes as he slid into her or held his hand as the passion exploded through her body.  She’s never wanted to make it last like this or hold a man close afterward.

But she does tonight.  Maybe it’s because it’s her birthday or maybe it’s because of the way her body seems to know his. Or maybe it’s just those intense blue eyes or the way he calls her ‘love’ in that sexy British accent.  But whatever the reason, she finds herself holding both his gaze and his hand when she falls over the edge.

After, he tucks her into his side and plants a tender kiss on the top of her head, his hand stroking up and down her back in a way that should make her panic but somehow doesn’t.  Instead, it makes her feel safe and precious.  She doesn’t remember drifting off to sleep but she awakes in the middle of the night with his arm still wrapped around her.  

And that’s when the panic sets in.  

It feels too good.  It feels too easy. And that’s a dangerous combination.

Quietly, she slips out of the bed and dresses, forgoing shoes because the floor is hardwood and she doesn’t want to wake him.  Still, she can’t stop herself from watching him sleep for a minute.  How he can still look that sexy even when he’s snoring like a freight train, she’ll never know, but it terrifies her even more because she’s tempted to crawl back into the bed with him, especially when he makes a grumbling sound, flips over into the space she’d vacated and hugs her pillow with a sigh.  

With more than a little regret, she silently makes her way out of the apartment, being sure to lock the door on her way out.  

***

She thinks about him more than she should, considers more than once going back to that corner bar to see if she might run into him again.  But she doesn’t.  Maybe if it had felt like just sex she would have been able to but, more often than not, she doesn’t think about the sex.  She thinks about his smile and the sparkle in his eyes and the way he’d helped her with her coat and –

No, it’s better to keep it what it was: A birthday wish that came true.  She doesn’t want to ruin it by making it more than that.  It was a rare and beautiful night and it’s better to save that memory than risk the inevitable pain that would rain down if she tried for more.  

Fate, however, has its own plan.  

She waits two full weeks to buy the test.  She already knows what it’s going to say but she still can’t help holding her breath while she counts down the seconds.  It’s the longest and shortest two minutes of her life.  

When the second blue line pops up, her heart jolts with so much pure joy that it takes her by surprise.

She’s going to have a baby.  

She’s going to have someone who is completely hers.  A child she can coddle and spoil and share all of the wonderful things with that she missed out on when she was young.  They’ll go to the movies… and the park… and the zoo… and Disneyworld… and it’s going to be perfect.

She sighs happily when she settles into bed that night, realizing that her birthday wish not only came true, but somehow managed to turn into a lifetime of having someone with her on her birthday. Inevitably, her mind drifts to Killian. She’s going to have to tell him. A thrill creeps up her spine at seeing him again but then doubt takes root.  Will he be happy? Will he be angry?  Will he accuse her of trying to trap him?  He’s the one who’d supplied the condom so he can’t really make that argument.  

Maybe she shouldn’t tell him.  Maybe he’s forgotten all about her.  A man who looks like that would have no problem finding female company.  He’s probably had a dozen women since then.  

And that thought brings on the next question.  What if he gave her something other than a baby? If he did, she’d be obligated to tell him, wouldn’t she?  

The next morning, she goes to the doctor and has a battery of tests done.  He confirms the pregnancy and also confirms everything else is fine.  She doesn’t know why, but she feels vindicated on Killian’s behalf that he was clean.  Her first instinct had been that he doesn’t sleep around and she knows this isn’t exactly proof but still…

But now she has to wrestle with the question of telling him or not.  If she tells him, she’ll have to see him. And if she sees him, she runs the risk of damaging an incredible memory.  

But she wants to see him.  And that thought is absolutely terrifying.  She wants him to be happy with her.  She wants him to be a father to their child because no matter how happy she is that she’s about to be a mother, that scumbag she caught on her birthday was right: She doesn’t know anything about family and she needs help.

She goes to his building one day and sees him walking out chatting happily with a woman and even though they part ways on the sidewalk, it’s enough to make panic seize her. She stands stock still as climbs into his car, her mind inevitably calling forth all sorts of questions that she’s not sure she wants the answers to.  What if he doesn’t remember her?  What if he’s involved with someone else?  The memory is too good to risk.  So she just stands there, paralyzed with fear and letting him drive away without saying a word.  

She decides to write him a letter instead.  That will work better.  If he doesn’t answer, she’ll be fine and she won’t hold it against him.  She’ll go on with her life and do her best just to be thankful to him for giving her this gift.  

She works herself into a frenzy on her way over to his place – nerves and pregnancy hormones are a terrible mix – and as she clutches the letter in her fist, she can feel tears threatening.  

When she makes it to his door she’s suddenly paralyzed again, this time with indecision. Should she slip it under the door? Stick it in the jam?  Under the door?  In the jam?  Before she can make up her mind, fate rears its head again and the door swings open in front of her, revealing the man who has dominated her thoughts for the past six weeks.  

He freezes when he sees her, a gym bag slung over his shoulder, and breathes out her name (at least he remembered it) and she feels the tears sting even more.  

He asks her in and she says something – she’s not really sure what – then shoves the letter into his hand and makes a break for it.  

She gets home without letting the tears fall and tries her best not to stare at her phone.  She fails. Twenty minutes later when the unrecognized number pops up, she’s so relieved that the tears threaten again, but she pushes them down and keeps her voice steady as they make plans to meet the next day.

She’s so nervous that her palms are sweaty when she gets to the coffee shop. Her heart thuds when he walks in but she ignores it and takes a deep breath.  She wants him to be happy… And she wants it a little too much.  Once they sit, she barely lets him get a word in because she knows if she stops talking, if she looks into those piercingly blue eyes, she won't be able to hold it together.  So when he presses his thumb to her mouth and tells her he’s in this, his voice low and adamant, relief floods her veins before she can stop it.  He’s looking at her with tenderness, his thumb warm against her lips and it takes her a second to remember what she was saying.  

Oh, right, she was going to tell him the date and time of the ultrasound.

She doesn’t hear from him again until he walks into her doctor’s office a few weeks later and she can’t deny she’s shocked to see him.  He notices, of course, but he doesn’t mention it, instead taking the empty chair next to her with a reserved smile and a quiet, “How are you feeling?”  

His smile isn’t so reserved when the technician leaves the room – they’re having a baby girl! – and she panics because her hand is in his and she doesn’t even remember putting it there.  

(Never mind the warmth that flooded her when he pressed a tender kiss to her head.)

The next time she sees him, he’s the one in a panic.  He bursts through the door of the hospital room and practically crushes her in his arms.  She tries to calm him, telling him it’s okay but he doesn’t seem to hear her.  

She’d overreacted when she’d seen the blood that afternoon (pregnancy hormones must cause temporary insanity) and she’d been frantic when she’d called him because the thought of losing this baby had spiraled into an all-out anxiety attack.  She’d be alone again if that happened.  She wouldn’t be able to lay in bed at night and talk to her stomach anymore.  She wouldn’t be making any more plans for the future – because for the first time in her life, that’s what she’s been doing, planning for more than a week or a month at a time.  Now, she’s planning years in advance.

And now, seeing him in nearly the same state she’d been in earlier, floods her with both guilt and affection, so she strokes his cheek in an attempt to sooth him, apologizing and telling him that the doctor said there’s nothing to worry about. But he still doesn’t release her, his forehead pressed to hers and his breath coming in harsh pants against her lips. She closes her eyes and leans into him and it’s amazing to her how much better she feels just having him by her side, having someone to worry with and take comfort from.

“I just got scared,” she tries to explain, “It’s silly, I know.  Maybe the hormones are getting to me.  I really am sorry to make you rush all the way down her for nothing except my paranoia.”  

“Stop apologizing, love.  It’s no trouble.  I want to be here.”

He pulls back to look at her and his eyes are filled such truth that hope floods her system, leaving her paralyzed when he leans toward her mouth.

It’s one of those moments in time that freeze, one of those moments when everything stills to a halt and blurs at the edges of your vision because the importance of what’s happening in front of you takes over and nothing else matters. She gets caught in it for a second, his lips drifting closer even as his eyes search hers, giving her plenty of time to turn away.  And, at the last second, she does because it terrifies her how much she wants to, how much she already needs him.

“We can’t do this, Killian.”

He stiffens for the briefest moment but he doesn’t pull away and she realizes it’s because he can’t – her traitorous fingers have curled themselves into his coat.  She clenches her eyes shut, but doesn’t release him, the warmth of his breath on her lips too good to let go of just yet.

He doesn’t seem to mind and, if anything, his touch becomes more tender, his fingers tracing along her jaw.  

“Why not, love?” he asks, his husky voice threatening to send a shiver down her spine that she barely manages to hold at bay.

He’s still perfect in her eyes, he’s still the kind, attentive stranger she met after that jackass called her out for knowing nothing about family. He’s still the man who made her birthday an incredible memory instead of a night of loneliness and despair.  And if she risks this and she messes it up, it’s going to break her.  She wants him to stay perfect.  And more than that, she wants him to stay in her life.  But at the same time, she wants to kiss him so badly that her heart stutters in her chest. So, she keeps her grip firm and grinds her forehead into his, indecision holding her frozen while his thumb strokes lightly against her cheek, the unspoken plea a direct contrast from how tense the rest of his body is as he waits for her decision.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” she surprises even herself with her honesty, “but I’m not good at this… I don’t do relationships. And with you…  We’re going to be parents. You say you want to be part of our daughter’s life.  And I… I want you to be.  So if we try this and it doesn’t work out…”  

She can see the conflict simmering in his eyes when she eases back, still clutching at his collar, but before he can speak the nurse walks in to discharge her.

His eyes dart in her direction at least a dozen times as he walks her to her car, the air tense. So she breaks the silence before he can, asking if they can be friends.  She holds her breath while she waits for his answer and she can tell he doesn’t want to agree but in the end, he does and she’s not sure if she’s happy or disappointed.  

***

Having Killian Jones as a friend is probably the best thing that has ever happened to her.  He listens intently to everything she says, even when she drones on about stupid things like movies and grocery shopping.  (And if the fact that her system goes into overdrive every time she shows him where the baby is kicking, that’s her problem, not his.)  He makes her laugh when she complains about sitting behind a desk at work and he even offers to help her paint the baby’s room.  

The night he comes over is nerve wracking for her.  She’s never had a man in her apartment before.  In fact, outside Mary Margaret, she’s never had anyone over before (and the only reason she lets her in is because the woman is a force of nature).  And it’s not until he’s standing in the middle of the baby’s room that she realizes how overboard she’s gone on the baby items and toys.  But he just looks at her in that reassuring way and tells her it’s perfect and the tension leaves her in a rush of relief.  

As it turns out, it’s kind of nice having a man to help move furniture and set up ladders and, really, she’s the size of a bus and she won’t admit it but she should have done this months ago.  They work well as a team, him meticulously painting the borders with a steady hand while she rolls the walls and it’s not long before she’s laughing because she glances his way to find pale pink paint stuck in his eyebrows.  He laughs too and then he does that eyebrow raise thing that usually sends electric shocks through her system but this time he looks so ridiculous that she just laughs harder.  In fact, she’s laughing so hard that she almost doesn’t hear the doorbell when Mary Margaret stops by to deliver some cookies, telling them both they deserve a break.  

Two weeks later, she enters the waiting room of her doctor’s office and is surprised that Killian isn’t already there.  The man has got to be the most punctual person she’s ever met and he’s never once been late before.  She takes her usual seat and picks up one of the baby magazines off the table, telling herself not to worry, that he’ll be there soon.  But as she waits, her leg starts to fidget, the ingrained insecurities creeping up her spine.  By the time she’s called back to an exam room, her heart is pounding, glancing toward the door in an almost desperate way.  

He’s not coming.  She knows he isn’t.  He’s finally figured out that she’s not worth the effort.  He’s finally decided that her crazy mixed signals are more trouble than he’s willing to deal with.  She’s going to be alone again; she’s going to have to figure out how to raise a child by herself.  And she’s going to fuck it up, she’s sure, because she’s a mess and she’s got no idea what she’s doing and she’s pushed him away and one day she’ll have to explain to her daughter why her father isn’t around and it’s her fault because she’s –

The door swings open in a rush and there he is and she’s hit with a wave of relief so intense that she can’t breathe.  He’s saying something, but she can’t hear him over the hollow buzz in her ears and it’s mortifying because she’s crying – crying over a man she barely knows because she already needs him, him and his stable presence at her side, him with his kind eyes and reassuring words.

He doesn’t miss the tears – of course he doesn’t, he notices everything – and guilt eats at her while she frantically dashes them away even as he bolts across the room to sit next to her, panicked because he’s worried that something has gone wrong with the baby.  She keeps her eyes averted when she tells him the doctor hasn’t been in yet and tries her best to get herself together, the strong hand on her jaw only serving to make her eyes sting worse.  

An abyss isn’t deep enough for her to crawl into when she sees the understanding cross his features but he doesn’t get angry – even though he has every right.  Instead, he draws a deep breath and then he’s telling her about how his father abandoned him and how he and his brother didn’t believe it and his voice breaks and it’s so close to her own story that she freezes, her heart aching and her hands shaking.  He doesn’t look at her as he speaks but she can’t look away from him, the pain in his posture and her own memories bubbling to the surface and threatening to choke her.

After he finishes, he finally meets her eyes, and they’re nearly black with intensity.  His hand is gripping hers, locking their fingers together. “I’d never do that to my child, Emma. Never.”  And in all her life, she’s never believed anyone more.  Hope and gratitude mix in her chest and then she’s hugging him, whether to thank him or to comfort him she’s not sure, but she does know she never wants to let go.  

He hugs her back, burying his face in her neck and when she replies, she puts every ounce of conviction she can in her voice.  “Our child is very lucky to have you as her father.”

His arms tighten, seemingly at a loss for words, and she finds herself very disappointed when the nurse comes in and they have to break apart.

***

He’s nearly giddy during those last few weeks, calling her every day he doesn’t see her just to check on her, to make sure they have a plan in place for when she goes into labor.  He’s smiling like a fool when Mary Margaret drops her at the hospital, and she is too, excitement to see their child outweighing the contractions.  

But it doesn’t last.  The contractions get more intense and holy shit, how stupid was she to do this without drugs? Because her body is being ripped in half and she’s not dilating, and this kid is never going to come out.  She tries to be brave at first, tries to keep quiet when the contractions hit but after hours of intense labor she gives up, allowing the shouts free reign, no matter how guilty it makes Killian look.  To his credit, he stays for every single one, standing steady beside her even when she shoots daggers at him.  In fact, the more irritable she becomes, the gentler he gets, doing everything he learned from reading those damn baby books to make it easier on her.  

Finally, it’s time to push and she knows she’s squeezing his hand too hard but he doesn’t even flinch, supporting her back when the pain tears unrestrained screams from her throat. Everything fades out, and just when she thinks the agony is never going to end, she feels the relief of her daughter finally greeting the world.  Time freezes, the image of her baby girl filling her vision and it’s all she can do not to weep with joy.  Because this… this moment… it’s everything she’s ever lived for, everything she’s ever dreamed of and her heart fills with so much happiness that, for the space of several heartbeats, it overshadows the pain.

She hears Killian’s gasp from beside her, his hand in hers strong and steady and right.  But then the baby is swept away to be cleaned and weighed and the exhaustion returns in full force.  She swears every bone in her body hurts, her muscles useless as she collapses back onto the bed; but Killian is there to catch her, his chest lined up behind her to keep her upright so she can watch the nurses clean up their little girl.  

His arms come around her waist, his breath gentle next to her ear when he thanks her for his daughter and she reaches back to wrap her arm around his neck, overwhelmed with gratitude that he's here, that he stayed through the entire thing and put up with her.  His arms tighten when they bring the baby back and she can't see his face but it's easy to imagine that soft glow in his eyes when he strokes the back of his finger against their daughter’s cheek. It’s pure beauty, this moment, euphoria and love warming her from the inside and Killian’s gentle embrace warming her from the outside.  

He suggests Hope when they discuss baby names and she nearly tears up again.  Because it’s perfect.  Because hope is exactly what he’s given her – just like he gave her this beautiful baby – so she agrees instantly, snuggling closer into his arms.  She realizes in the next moment that he's near tears as well when she tells him she wants his last name included, and she closes her eyes when he kisses her temple, so content and happy that her heart swells.

****

Being a mother is terrifying at first.  She frets over every decision.  (Should she spring for the hypoallergenic diapers just in case? Is this swaddle too tight?)  She even goes so far as to worry over the idea of putting Hope in her car seat the first time she needs to go to the store for fear that they’ll get into an accident during the five-minute drive.  Which is why she’s so relieved when Killian knocks an hour later sporting three grocery bags filled with every single item she’d dictated to him right down to the specific brand of baby rash ointment she’d insisted on.  

She expects him to be annoyed at being appointed her errand boy, but he’s smiling wide when he walks in. He takes the bags to the kitchen, then instantly disappears into Hope’s room.  After she’s unpacked everything she crosses the hall, leans against the door frame and watches him gently run his finger over Hope’s bald head, humming a soft melody as he does it.

He misses her, she realizes. It’s been three days since she got out of the hospital and he hasn’t been over since he dropped her off so, naturally, he jumped on any excuse to come by.  Her eyes well with tears and she turns away, heading back to the living room while she yanks her emotions in check.  Of course, he misses her.  He’d spent nearly every waking moment at the hospital with her and, when he’d brought them home, he’d stayed to help, even going so far as to send Emma to bed for a nap so that she’d be rested for the inevitable overnight feedings.

It’s a bit later when he wanders into the living room, looking slightly disappointed and somehow, she knows exactly why.  

“She went down about ten minutes before you got here,” she tells him apologetically.

“Yes, well, she’s sleeping like an angel,” he says, his eyes lowering to the carpet and rocking back on his heels.  Silence descends for a moment and then he shuffles around, scratching at the back of his ear.  “Is there anything else you need? I could – ”

“You can stay,” she interrupts. “You don’t need an excuse.  Have a seat and I’ll throw together some food. I’m starving.”

His eyes light up like a kid on Christmas and then he’s motioning for her to sit back down.  “No, let me.  I make a mean chicken and vegetable linguine.” When she hesitates, he hurries on, “You’ve been forfeiting your sleep to feed our little girl.  The least I can do is feed you in return.”

She’s a little shocked she manages to hold in the choked sound that threatens to escape.  He cooks, too?  How is he even real?  

“Sure, but I don’t have…”

“Oh, no worries, I got my own groceries while I was shopping for yours.  Just let me run to the car and grab them.”  He practically skips to the door and it’s not until he walks back in that she realizes she's been starting at it the entire time, completely dumbfounded at how perfect he is.  

She follows him into the kitchen and starts pulling pans out, intending to help, but he shoos her away, telling her to relax.  “All the parenting books say you should sleep when the baby is sleeping, Swan.  Go rest, I've got this.  I'll fetch you when it's ready.”

She capitulates easier than she usually would.  Having a man putter around in her kitchen is not something she ever would have thought to allow before, but she's exhausted and he's already humming again, rifling around in the drawers until he finds the cutting board and carving knife.

It's not a desire to hear him singing softly that has her muting the TV when she settles on the couch and it's not because she’s imagining how amazing it would be if this was actually their life. She’s just taking his advice:  Sleep while the baby sleeps.  

(But that doesn't account for the smile she wears as she listens.)

It’s dark when she opens her eyes again, the smell of something delicious filtering through the air.  She walks to the kitchen to find two full plates of uneaten food going cool on the counter before she hears the soft murmur of his voice coming from Hope’s room.  She enters just as he applies the second piece of tape to the diaper he’s just changed and watches him brush his nose over Hope’s forehead.  

“There’s my little lass,” he whispers to her, “feel better now that you’re clean and dry?”  Hope gurgles and he nods as though she’s answered in the affirmative.  “Good.”

Gathering his daughter up, he turns and spots her in the doorway and a grin breaks out to match her own.  “And how about you, love?  Feeling better now that you’re rested?”

“Yeah,” she replies, surprised at how throaty her voice sounds.  “Thank you.”

“Well, why don’t you feed this wee one while I warm up our dinner?”

“Okay,” she agrees.  

When she joins him a few minutes later, he’s got the table set and has moved Hope’s swing to the space in between their chairs.  He spends the entire meal with a happy smile on his face and his eyes on his daughter while she describes every mundane detail of the last three days.  

And, yeah, the man can definitely cook.  She polishes off the plate and even uses a piece of garlic bread to soak up the remaining sauce, drawing his gaze when she moans at how incredible it is.  His eyes darken with outright greed for an instant, his tongue darting out to lick at his lower lip, but he covers it immediately, averting the dazzling blue back to Hope.

Three months later, he shows up again at her request, this time with a prescription bottle and, strangely enough, a bouquet of flowers.  (How on earth did he know it was her birthday?  Because she’s sure she’s never told him.)  He sets the flowers on the table without a word and pulls a fussy Hope from her arms, heading straight to the kitchen to measure out the bubblegum flavored antibiotic and coaxing Hope to drink it.  Her frayed nerves are completely forgotten as she stands in the doorway, her eyes flitting between him and the flowers.  

“How did you know?” she asks.

He turns, a bit distracted as he wipes the dribble of pink medicine that Hope didn’t swallow from her chin.  “Know what, love?”

“That it’s my birthday.”

His eyes shoot to hers and his brow furrows.  “It’s your birthday?” he asks in surprise.

The intensity of his gaze is unnerving and she shuffles.  “Yeah.”

“I… I didn’t know.”

Her stomach drops to her shoes, realization blooming that the flowers aren’t for her.  She must have interrupted a date or something.  

He’s staring at her with a wrinkled brow when she finally has the courage to look at him, Hope perched on his shoulder while he idly rubs her back.  Then, inexplicably, his face morphs to a tender expression, his words soft when he replies, “I got them to celebrate the anniversary of…  Well, it was a year ago today that we… met.”

Understanding dawns on her, not just about the flowers, but why Killian’s eyes are suddenly so full of compassion and empathy.  He’s just realized how she spent her last birthday (and nearly every other one she’s ever had)… sitting alone in a quiet bar, not a friend in sight.  Shame washes through her and she escapes to the bathroom before he can say anything else.  

He doesn’t make a big deal of it when she finally reemerges, but he brings flowers on her birthday every year after that – along with a cake that is big enough to feed more than one person.

***

They fall into a rhythm over the next few years, working together to raise Hope.  There are still times when she looks at him and her blood races (okay, it’s nearly every time she looks at him), but she never acts on them.  Mostly because she doesn’t see that same feeling crossing his face anymore (okay, she sees it occasionally but not nearly as often as she used to).  And, besides, this is how she wants it.

Right?  

Her life is nearly perfect. She’s got a sweet and bubbly daughter who wants for nothing and a man who loves their little girl as much as she does.  And they make quite the team – as Killian likes to say.  And somewhere along the way, she’s even amassed a group of loyal friends.  

Yes, her life is more perfect than she’d ever dared hope for and risking that…  well, she’s not sure she wants to risk that…

Then again, she thinks to herself, staring a hole into the head of the redhead across the playground, maybe there’s something she would risk…  Like a quiet murder…  Because there is absolutely no reason that… woman needs to flaunt her obvious boob job quite so… blatantly.  

Tightening her hand into a fist, she crosses the playground, barely stopping to wave to Hope who is at the top of the slide.  Killian is a huge fan of the park.  They meet here on a regular basis to drop off Hope since it’s central between their apartments and it’s certainly not the first time she’s shown up for their swap to find him talking to some bimbo-looking-single-mother but there’s something about it today that makes her hackles go up.  It probably has something to do with the way Killian shuffles on his feet while he chats with the woman – and did he just scratch behind his ear?!

That endearing but tell-tale sign nearly stops her in her tracks and she has to grapple for breath because she’s never once seen him do that to anyone outside their tight circle of friends. And it’s only slightly mollifying when he sees her approaching and his eyes light up.  

He immediately introduces her to the redhead – Caitlin is her name – and she’s the mother of one of Hope’s classmates.  

It’s a miracle that she’s able to keep her voice polite.  

“I was just telling Killian how much Abigail enjoyed the story he read to the class last week.  Did he tell you about it?”

“No, he didn’t,” she replies while snakes snap around in her stomach.

“Yes, well, remember the day Hope left her coat at my place and I ran by the school to drop it off?  Mrs. Gibson caught me in the hall and insisted I come in and before I knew it, I was holding a book of fairy tales.  She’s quite the formidable woman and turning her down didn’t seem like a wise choice.”

Emma almost laughs at that. Almost.  Under normal circumstances she would.  And under normal circumstances she’d tease him about what a pushover he is.  Because, yes, while Hope’s teacher is formidable, Killian probably jumped at the chance to read to the class.  He absolutely adores reading aloud to Hope.  But today, with these snakes taking bites out of her stomach, she just raises an eyebrow.  

“Let me guess.  Peter Pan, right?”

And if she feels like it’s a victory when he shuffles and scratches behind his ear again before dashing away to gather Hope, she’d never admit it.  

Her eyes follow him as he crosses the playground and she sees the woman beside her doing the same – along with several other women watching from the scattered benches circling the jungle gym.

She wants to excuse herself from and go after him, to grab him by the lapels of that black leather jacket and stake her claim on him in no uncertain terms, but the woman draws her into a conversation about the upcoming festival at school and she can’t be that rude.  So she’s stuck chatting for a minute, which turns into several minutes when the kids beg Killian to play pirates and princesses and, pushover that he is, he agrees.

To be honest, now that she’s talking to the woman, it feels like an innocent exchange.  She seems nice, like someone Emma would hang out with if she’d met her under different circumstances.  But her eyes keep drifting back to Killian every so often and – wow – she’s really got to get ahold of her murderous tendencies.  

(Not that she can blame her. He’s a stunning man and he’s friendly to everyone.  I mean, even the grandmothers fluff their hair when he’s around and he treats every one of them, young or old, with the same gallant cordiality.)

It’s not until a few months later that she realizes her murderous tendencies might just win after all…

Emma and the girls are out celebrating Mary Margaret’s (finally) engagement.  They’re at a club around the corner from Killian’s apartment that he’d recommended to them and who should walk in but ‘little miss redhead’ herself.

She’s obviously a regular here. The bartender calls her by name and she doesn’t even have to give her drink order before a longneck bottle of beer is opened and in front of her.  And if she’s a regular here, then there’s every possibility that Killian learned of this place from her.  Have they hung out here together before?  Did they play pool together at that ancient pool table?  Did he sit next to her at the end of the bar where she plants her generous, tightly-denim-clad –

“Earth to Emma,” Ruby’s voice breaks into her thoughts. “What are you looking -- Wow, she’s hot.  Thinking of switching sides, are you?”

Emma immediately blushes, looking away, horrified when the other girls turn to check out the woman over their shoulders.

“I don’t know what you’re – ”

“Isn’t that the woman who lives in Killian’s building?” Mary Margaret chimes in.  “The one with the little girl… Abigail, I think.”

Emma tries not to, but she can’t stop her jaw from turning to brick with how hard she grits her teeth, which earns an interested look from Ariel.

“You don’t like her, I take it.”

“I don’t know her well enough not to like her,” she retorts and Ruby sniggers.

“You don’t like her because she’s hot and she lives in Killian’s building.”  

When Emma remains stubbornly silent, Ruby nudges her arm.  “Come on Ems, admit it:  You’re jealous.”

She sends her a glare, “No, I’m not.  Killian can do whatever, or whoever, he wants.”

“And you think he’s… doing her?”

Emma just shrugs because she doesn’t really know how to answer, glancing back to the woman as she walks over and picks up a pool cue from the rack on the wall, her traitorous mind conjuring up more images of Killian bending over the pool table with her to help her line up a shot, or bending her back over the pool for some other reason…  

“Emma…”  It’s more the touch of Mary Margaret’s hand landing on hers than the sound of her name that has her drawing a sharp breath.  “Honey, please tell me you know better than that.”

But she doesn’t.  Maybe at one time she did – years ago – back when he used to look at her with heat simmering in those ice blue eyes but now… Now she’s not so sure.  It’s been a while since he’s looked at her like that and… and maybe he’s gotten over it.  Maybe an uncomplicated woman who laughs easily and doesn’t carry all the baggage she does is just what he needs.  

The silence grows heavy and she looks up to see all her friends staring at her with concern and she realizes she’d just said all that aloud.

“I can’t blame him,” she goes on. “He’s entitled to be happy…”

“Well, he’s not doing her,” Ruby says confidently.

“How do you know?”

“Girlfriend is on the prowl,” she explains, nodding in her direction. “And you’d know better than me, of course, but I get the feeling Killian’s the type to satisfy a woman so well that she wouldn’t feel the need to look for…  alternate company.”

Pure relief runs through Emma. He is.  He’s absolutely that type.  Still, it doesn’t completely diminish the doubt.  “But that doesn’t mean he’s not considering it.”

“He’s not considering it either,” Ariel says sardonically.

“How do you know?” she asks again.

She can practically hear their eyes rolling.  “Because he loves you, Emma,” Mary Margaret puts in.

And mortifyingly, that has tears springing to her eyes. “He…  doesn’t. Why on earth would he?”

“Oh Emma,” Ariel takes her free hand.  “He absolutely adores you.”

“He does,” Ruby agrees.  

“And you love him,” Mary Margaret adds softly.

Emma wants to deny it – or possibly sink into a dark abyss to get out of admitting it – but they’re all looking at her with such understanding and patience… and these women – these women know her – they know her in ways no one else does.  And they know Killian.  And they look so sure of themselves that the truth slips from her mouth before she can stop it.

“Yeah, I do.”

Then there’s a moment – a moment when all of their expressions turn from concern to pride, a moment when she realizes just how blessed she is to have these women in her life.  Women who never judge her, never push her.  And she meets each of their eyes in turn, realizing that not only are they proud of her, but she’s also proud of herself.

Mary Margaret breaks the moment, releasing her hand and sitting back in her chair with a blinding smile. “Well, now that you’ve finally admitted it, what are you going to do about it?”

“I… I don’t…”

“Jump his bones,” is Ruby’s suggestion and they all laugh.

***

It’s a few days later when he calls to ask if she’d like to join him and Hope for a trip to the children’s museum and Emma feels butterflies in her stomach.  But…  It’s not a date.  He’s not asking her out.  They do this sort of thing all the time.  They both treasure Hope too much to miss any of her ‘firsts’ and this outing just falls under that category.  

But she does go out of her way to look nice.  She does leave her hair down because he made a casual comment a while back about how lovely her hair looks that way.  And she does put on her most expensive perfume.

She watches him carefully the whole day, still plagued with doubt no matter how sure her friends are.  He’s not acting interested.  He’s just Killian.  Sure, he smiles and teases her a bit but his focus is almost completely on Hope – which is exactly where it should be.  

It’s not until they sit down to watch the dinosaur film that she notices it.  She’s hyper-aware of him now, so when his fingers unnecessarily brush her skin as he drapes his arm over Hope’s shoulders, she glances his way and catches the little glimpse of tenderness that she would have missed before.  Then later, at the pizza place, he does it again when he helps her with her coat, an unnecessary but slight graze of his fingers on the back of her neck.

But she still isn’t sure.  So she decides to test him.

They make it back to her place and she fidgets around the living room while he puts Hope to bed, surprised with how nervous she is.  It’s just Killian.  This isn’t something they haven’t done a hundred times before.  All she has to do is offer him a beer and he’ll stay. There’s no need to pace this floor trying to come up with a reason… She’ll offer him a beer and –

And there he is, walking back into the living room, completely relaxed and comfortable in her home and for the first moment in maybe her entire life, she can see exactly what she wants her future to be.  

She realizes she’s smiling, her nerves momentarily forgotten and he smiles back.

“She’s asleep?” she asks.

“She was asleep before I even laid her down,” he tells her.

That makes her chuckle.  “Yeah, she had a full day.  Thank you for inviting me.”

“Thank you for coming.  It wouldn’t have been the same without you.”

It’s an off-hand comment but her heart flutters at his sincerity and she turns away, grabbing at a few toys to keep her hands busy.  It’s a near thing when he meets her at the toy chest with a few toys of his own, but she manages not to suck in a breath at his sudden closeness.  God, does he have to smell so good all the time?

She puts some distance between them because she needs air that doesn’t smell of him if she’s going to put together a coherent sentence, her mind grappling for some reason to get him to stay and, thankfully, she comes up with the perfect excuse.

"Mary Margaret told me that you're planning David's bachelor party."

He hesitates for half a second and her stomach plummets.  "Yes, well being the Best Man and all, it's my job. And you're planning Mary Margaret's bachelorette party, I hear. No worries, lass, I know it's my night to have Hope and I've already arranged a sleepover for her with one of the mothers from her class so that we can both fulfill our duties."

"Oh? Which mother?" she asks.  

It better not be… "Abigail's.” Of course it is…  “You've met them before. She lives two stories down from me. She's a nurse and I've helped her out with Abigail a few times when she's had to work over, so she was happy to repay the favor."

Her confidence takes a knock as she mumbles under her breath, but she doesn’t let it deter her.  "Ruby said her mother would be happy to keep her, if we need it."

"While I'm sure Hope would love that, she's already excited about staying over with her friend, so maybe next time."

Let it go, Emma.  Let it go, now. "Well, it was just a thought… Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. Ruby and I wanted to do something special and we need a, ah… co-conspirator from the men's camp."

He raises that ridiculous eyebrow of his. "And what, exactly, would we be conspiring about, Swan?" he asks.

Her nerves are immediately abated and she snags a couple of beers before they settle on the couch so she can tell him her plan.  

While she speaks, a slow and devastating smile blooms on his face that has in heart fluttering again. "Never knew you were such a romantic, Swan."

"I'm not," she denies, "It was Ruby's idea, not mine."

But her denial is futile. The man can read her like a book. "Uh huh," he says slowly, narrowing his eyes on her.

"Okay fine, maybe it was my idea. They've just been really good friends to me and I wanted to do something special for them."

His grin widens. "I do believe you've gone soft, darling."

Oh, if he only knew… "So, will you help?"

"Of course I will, love. I don't deny being a romantic."

No, he doesn’t.  Why else would he bring her flowers every birthday?

"I know," she replies drawing a deep breath for courage.  

This is it.  This is the test.

Watching carefully, she takes his empty beer bottle, making sure to brush her fingers along his when she does it.  And there it is, the slight darkening of his eyes that she’d been hoping for.  

She smiles in victory as she walks to the kitchen to place their empty bottles into the recycling bin and takes a minute to catch her breath before she goes back to the living room.

Wow, that look had been pure sin.  

***

She thinks about that look for the next week, visions of it creeping into her mind at all hours.  

He wants her.  There’s no question.  But, wanting isn’t the same as loving.  And maybe the reason he’s never acted on the wanting is because that’s all it is.  

He’s an honorable guy.  And he adores his daughter.  And he’d never do anything to endanger his relationship with her mother over something so shallow as simple sex.

But… but maybe he just knows her that well.  Maybe he realizes how damaged and broken she is.  She’s never told him how similar their histories are but maybe…  Maybe that’s why he’s never asked.

It’s terrifying when she thinks of it, putting her heart out like that, laying everything on the line and giving him the power to crush her.  Every other person she’d given that power to has done just that:  crushed her.  

But she can’t deny it anymore. She loves him and she’s going to have to do something about it before some other uncomplicated woman comes swooping in to take him away.

Drinking will help.  

Mary Margaret’s bachelorette party is tonight and drinking will definitely help her work up the courage to find out exactly how he feels about her.  

(And, if she doesn’t like the answer, she can pretend tomorrow that she doesn’t remember anything.)

(Yes, she realizes how fucked up that is.)

(But isn’t the reason she’s in this mess because of how fucked up she is?)

It goes exactly as she plans. She drinks and drinks and her inhibitions get lower and lower.  She’s got the courage to lean her head on his shoulder while they watch David and Mary Margaret dance together, and she doesn’t even hesitate to warn off the simpering brunette who seeks him out not only once, but twice – even after he blew her off earlier in the night.  

She lucks out that there are only two empty chairs when they return from the bar with drinks for everyone. His brother, Liam, takes one and she’s not about to pass this up, so she pushes Killian into the other and settles on his lap.  It’s a thrill when she notices how his knuckles go white on his glass and she doesn’t miss the low groan that rumbles in his chest when she plays with his hair.

She also doesn’t miss the looks her friends send her.  

(Maybe she should have gotten their opinion on this little plan of hers, but she really wasn’t in the mood to listen to them tell her how stupid it was.  Because if they knew how calculated she’s being, those looks would be disapproval instead of encouragement.)

(The thought sends a sharp pang of guilt through her system and she reaches for another shot.)

The DJ announces the final ballad and she drags him to the dance floor with her.  Sitting on his lap had been encouraging but it was hard for her to spy on his expressions that way, so she really wants to be face to face with him for a while.  He tries to keep some distance between them while they sway to the dreamy song but she’s not having it tonight.  Tonight, she lines her body up to his and grips at his hip to keep them close together. The song is nearly over when she realizes her intention to watch his expression has been completely forgotten, her eyes closed and her forehead resting against his the entire time.  It feels perfect, though, so she doesn’t pull away, but she does open her eyes just enough to examine the mouth that is so close to hers, noticing the quick intake of breath he takes when she runs her hand up his arm to settle it on the back of his neck.

The car ride back to her apartment is another matter.  It’s cold outside and the whipping wind that hit her before they climbed in sobered her a little.  But she’s still a little hazy, so she leans against him – he’s so comfortable – and closes her eyes while the city lights streak by out the window.  

She’s nearly drifted off to sleep when they arrive at her apartment and she admonishes herself for it because this whole plan will be for nothing if she passes out now.  Thank god for how much a gentleman Killian is when he catches her just before she faceplants on the pavement and thank god for the biting Maine wind that serves to sober her even more because, dammit, she doesn’t want to actually forget what happens.

She concentrates on sobering further during the elevator ride.  His hand is warm in hers and she doesn’t let go, her drink addled brain making her think that maybe she can pull some of his soberness from him if she hangs on.

She pulls him toward the couch as soon as they enter her apartment because her body is thrumming with the need to tuck herself into him without all their friends watching.  She wants to bite that perfect neck of his that has tempted her too many times to count over the years.  But he’s directing her toward the kitchen first, insisting that she take some aspirin, and really, he thinks of everything.  

And there’s that neck, with its muscled cords tempting her like the fucking poison apple in the Garden of Eden and she just can’t help herself.  Her inhibitions are down enough that she’s already up on her toes before she realizes what she’s doing, inhaling his scent and barely resisting the urge to run her teeth over the sexiest freckle she’s ever encountered in her life.

She hides her disappointment when he thrusts the glass into her hand like a shield, obediently plucking the aspirin from him and tossing it back.  

When she lowers the glass, she catches the way he’s watching her, a little wrinkle between his eyebrows like he’s worried about how drunk she is, so she does her best to sound in full control when she thanks him for taking care of her.  

"You'd do the same for me, Swan," he replies, scratching behind his ear.

It’s the ear scratch that gives her the courage to go on.  "I'm not just talking about tonight.  You're always there when I need you and I don't thank you nearly enough. I know you do most of it because of Hope but - "

"I do it for both of you," he cuts her off.

And that’s it.  She’s completely sober now.  Because she realizes that’s exactly what she needed to hear – and she didn’t even have to trick it out of him.  He cares for her as much as he does for Hope – who she knows he adores with every cell of his being – and he said it like it was simple fact.

So she dives for him, meeting his mouth with hers for the first time since the night that still haunts her dreams.  And she does it without a single doubt in her mind.  

His arms are strong and sure when they engulf her, his mouth as avid as hers when he returns the kiss but, gentleman that he is, he stops way too quickly.  

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knows he’s right to put on the brakes but she disregards what she knows and because this moment is too important and she doesn’t want it to end yet, so she resorts to begging – please, Killian – and putting enough pressure on his collar to bring their foreheads back together.  

He groans low and deep and that’s all she needs to press her lips back to his.  Then he takes the kiss and runs with it, pulling her flush against his body and burying his hand in her hair.  She glories in the fisting of his hand on the back of her sweater and in the way his body slides against hers when he dips his head to catch her bottom lip, her hand planting firmly on his back to slip her leg between his.  

And, god, he’s already hard, she can feel the erection even through both layers of clothes and the knowledge leaves her gasping.  

And then he’s pulling away again, grounding out her name like it’s a prayer and – jesus, she loves the sound of her name on his lips.

His eyes are impossibly wrecked, blown wide with want and confusion, and she’s suddenly reminded of the way he looked at her on the night they met.  It was the same look then.  Like he didn’t quite believe she was real.  It’s the look that scared her even when it gave her hope.  The same one that had chiseled out the first brick of the wall she’d built around herself.  And seeing it again now makes her understand that he’s managed to whittle away every single brick, scattering them in every direction.  Slowly and steadily, he’s demolished her defenses and she never wants to erect them again.  

She almost tells him (Christ, she wants to tell him), but she holds it back – not because she has any doubts left but because he would doubt it if she said it right now.  She’s drunk and he knows it and no matter how lucid this realization is, he’d never believe it when she’s this impaired.  So she goes with another confession instead.

“Do you remember the night we made Hope?”

His eyes darken to nearly black and his breath catches, planting his forehead against hers before he answers in a gritty voice, “I remember every detail, love.”

“So do I… I remember everything,” she admits.  And she does. She remembers every single detail, “I dream about it sometimes… about what it was like to be with you.”

“I dream about it, too,” he confesses, the severity of his accent telling her how true the words are.  

She can’t stop herself from kissing him again and she wouldn’t want to try.  Her body is starved for him, memories of the last time they did this rushing into her mind.  But it’s not only those memories that have her directing him toward the couch. There’s also the memories of him smiling at her from across the room, winking at her over Hope’s head, extending his hand to her to help her down a wobbly flight of steps.  And with each memory, the tug in her stomach gets stronger, the emotions all-consuming.  

His hands are everywhere, cupping her cheek one second and grabbing at her ass in the next.  His mouth is open to hers and she nibbles at his upper lip even as he bites down on her lower one.  They’re perfectly matched, just like that first night, their bodies instinctively knowing where to touch and how much pressure to use to drive the other into madness.  

She doesn’t know where on earth the lamp comes from but she’s pretty sure it’s not the alcohol that has her tripping over it.  Still, it’s enough for Killian to slow things down, telling her that she’s drunk and they shouldn’t be doing this right now.  

She tries to convince him that it’s not the liquor – because it’s not, and please, she doesn’t want to stop now… Her head is fuzzy with love and she tries one last time to tempt him by rubbing her hand over his throbbing erection but…  well, he’s Killian and he’s too damn honorable.

“Tomorrow,” he gasps, putting firm hands on her shoulders and forcing her to look him in the eye, “Tell me this tomorrow.  I want you, Swan.  All of you.  And if we do this and you regret it in the morning I... Tell me this when you're sober and clear-headed and I promise, I'll give you everything, everything I have to give.”

He looks desperate.  And guilty.  And while she’s pretty sure she could talk him into this, she also knows he’d beat himself up for it afterwards.  Because while she knows it wouldn’t be just a quick fuck, he wouldn’t – not for sure, anyway. So she releases his collar and walks away without another word before she changes her mind.

She’ll tell him tomorrow.  She’ll convince him tomorrow.  Because now, she’ll have to courage to do it ‘sober and clear-headed.’

But tomorrow there’s a wedding. A wedding they both have to attend.

***

She hydrates like a madwoman as soon as she wakes up, downing a near gallon of water and several more aspirins. It takes a great deal of restraint not to call him immediately but while she’d like to, she doesn’t want to rush this conversation and… there’s a wedding today that they can’t be late for.

She manages to fend off her friends’ questions regarding last night while they get the bride ready – today is about Mary Margaret, not her – but Ruby sends her a knowing glance when Killian drops off Hope because there’s no mistaking the tension in his shoulders when he catches a glimpse of her.  

She wishes she could chase after him to relieve that tension but Mary Margaret needs help with her veil and she is the Maid of Honor, after all.

He watches her with unmasked adoration as she walks down the aisle and she tries to waylay his nerves with a smile of her own.  But it seems their history still has him disbelieving and there’s nothing she can do about it until she can get him alone.  

But she can’t get him alone yet. They’re in the middle of a wedding. Still, she tries again when they’re walking out, her arm linked in his.  

“Later,” she whispers to him, hoping he understands that it’s the promise she means it to be.  

And maybe that’s enough to convince him since his eyes soften to a cool blue that has her stomach somersaulting. Or maybe not, since they’re back to questioning when they get ready for their dance – and this time she doesn’t have time to reassure him before Hope is there, begging to dance with her daddy.

She’s going to have to do something more blatant, she thinks to herself.  And when she comes up behind him, her heart melting at the way Hope’s head is laying against his shoulder while David and Mary Margaret climb into their fairy-tale looking carriage, she goes for it.  

She wraps her arm around his waist while they wave goodbye to the newlyweds, then takes it a step further by brushing her lips over his and asking for a ride home, making sure to add that she’s only had one glass of champagne.  

He looks stunned but delighted and he agrees, carrying Hope to the car and opening her door for her before buckling Hope into her car seat.  

They both stay quiet during the drive so that Hope won’t wake up and they put her to bed together when they arrive back at her place.  He still looks nervous and she realizes she’s nervous now, too, but she takes his hand anyway and pulls him along with her to the couch, determined to be brave tonight even without liquid courage.

But the nerves are suddenly overwhelming and she can’t make herself meet his eyes, so she traces the hand she’s still holding and looks at it instead.  “I'm sorry about last night.  You were right.  I was drunk and I never should have put you in that position.”

“It's alright, love. We can pretend it never happened if you want.”

His answer not only stuns her but also brings back every fear she’s ever had to the surface, her heart freezing in her chest as she looks away.  “Is that what you want? To pretend it never happened?”

“God, no, Emma. I just…”

Oh, thank god.

“I told you a long time ago I'm not good at this.” And she’s not.  She sucks at it.  “I'm not good at… at talking about…  But I never… I never told you why.”

Then she tells him about her past. Something she’s never shared with anyone.  She tells him how she was abandoned when she was a baby, and abandoned again when the Swans sent her away – and she can see the molten fury on his face before he pulls her forward into his arms, his voice hoarse with sympathy when he tells her how sorry he is.

She takes comfort from his warmth and swallows hard before she continues, “I was moved around a lot after that.  I was never in one place for more than six months until I aged out of the system.”

She puts pressure on his chest so she can look him in the eye while she tells him the last of it because this is the most important part, even if she has to stutter through it.

“I never had anyone I could count on.  Never.  I was always alone… until I met you.  And you… You changed me.  You made me want to trust you.  When I found out I was pregnant, I almost didn't tell you.  I was terrified because even that first night you made me feel things I didn't want to feel.  But I couldn't not tell you… And then you were there… every time I needed you, you were there… and I told myself it was just because you wanted Hope, not me, because no one has ever wanted me but I think maybe, maybe you do?  And maybe – ”

“I do, Emma.  I do want you… in every way possible.”  

She’s so stunned she can’t think of a single reply but, as always, he comes to her rescue, leaning forward to rub their noses together.

“And I don't just want you, darling.  I love you… more than anyone I've ever known – except maybe our daughter – and if you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”

And this time the reply is easy. “I love you, too.”

His face lights up, his smile blinding as she urges him to his feet and walks him to her room.  

Their first time together had been intense – and more meaningful than any other sexual experience Emma had ever encountered – but tonight…

Tonight, it’s a thousand times more.  Every kiss carries a message, every caress a declaration.  They’re letting go of their painful pasts and looking ahead into a brighter future.  It’s slow and dreamy and everything the phrase ‘making love’ is supposed to imply. Because that’s what it is.  It’s love in it’s truest form.  It’s the stripping of souls to lay them bare in front of the one person that you know will treasure them.  And they do treasure them.  They treasure each other like fine porcelain, gently and reverently building the passion until it bursts through them.  

She’s deliriously happy when she floats down from her second high, Killian breathing heavily into her neck in the wake of his own bliss.  And the words are out of her mouth before she even considers what she’s saying.

“Where are we going to live?”

She’s caught him by surprise but she doesn’t regret the words, so she continues as though his shoulders haven’t gone suddenly stiff, rubbing her lips over his forehead, “Your place is closer to Hope's school, but Mary Margaret and David are going to be living in her apartment now and it would be nice to have a couple of built-in babysitters a door away.”

He stays quiet for another second and she thinks maybe she’s pushed too far, so she opens her eyes to meet his. “Too soon?” she asks.

He doesn’t answer with words – but he does use his mouth, delivering a kiss so enthusiastic that she giggles.  

“While I liked that answer, it really doesn't answer the question.  Where do you think we should live?”

He’s grinning like a fool and, when he finally says something, it’s her who’s caught by surprise. “Marry me, Emma.”

She doesn’t answer with words either, and by the time they break apart they’re both laughing.  

“While I liked that answer, it really doesn't – ”

“Yes!”

Their chests are still shaking with laughter when they fall into the pillows together and she snuggles into his side.

“I think we should live here,” he whispers into her temple.

***

They announce their new relationship to their friends as soon as David and Mary Margaret return from their honeymoon two weeks later.  

To say their friends are happy for them is an understatement.  The girls take her out to lunch a couple of weeks after that just so they can grill her for all the details.  It’s a fun afternoon, full of girl-talk and teasing and no one seems to notice that she doesn’t take an actual drink from the champagne flute in front of her.

When she gets home, she’s cleaning up Hope’s room when the picture on the wall catches her attention and she stares at it while emotion fills her lungs.

Faith, Hope, Love.

Years ago, when she bought that, she’d had none of those things in her life, and she’d bought it to remind herself to make sure her child had all three.  

Now, though, her life is full of hope.  Killian had given her that years ago.  And it’s full of love.  He’d given her that, too.  But the most important thing he’s given her is faith - faith enough that she was able to take that hope and love and make the biggest and most important leap of her life.

And, of course, it was Killian who’d caught her.

She reads the words again as her hand unconsciously drifts to her stomach.  She already suspects she’s pregnant, but she hasn’t said anything to Killian yet.  She wanted to wait until she’d picked up a pregnancy test before telling him and she still hasn’t had time.  But, suddenly, she’s impatient.  She wants to know now.  So she texts Mary Margaret and asks if Hope can come over for a little while so she can make a quick trip to the store.  (It really is nice to have a babysitter next door.)

On her way back from the drugstore she texts Killian to make sure he’ll be home on time.  And she tries to wait until he gets home but that pink box is calling to her like a siren and she can’t wait any longer.  

She’s standing at the sink in their bathroom, holding her breath as she watches the display when she hears Killian’s voice.  

“Emma? Is everything alright, love?”

Is everything alright?  Everything is perfect, she wants to tell him, but she can’t seem to wrap her lips around the words because that second blue line just popped up and…

“Emma? Are you…?  Is that a… a pregnancy test?”

He's looks as shocked as she is when she turns to him, and she feels the smile spread across her face. "I guess we're batting a thousand, sailor."

He's smiling back instantly and then rushing forward to pull her into his arms.

"If it's a girl, I think we should name her Faith," she whispers into his ear.

"Faith, Hope and Love," he replies and rubs her nose with his. "That's perfect… love.”

[stressedoutteenager]

Playing Games (Part 3)

This is based on a prompt I got: ‘I’m egging your house for a dare but your parent is a cop (…)so i told them that (…) you wronged me and now you’re coming outside and please go along with this ’

Part 1, Part 2

"Yeah, sure. I can do that.", Sana says, holding her phone to her ear.

She went on a run but she barely ran 10 minutes when she got a call from her brother.

"Sis, but can you please get salty chips?", Elias says from the other end of the line.

Sana just listens as Elias is being talked to. His friends are probably over at the Bakkoush house.

"Oh, and Mutta wants chilli chips.", he adds.

Sana just makes an agreeing sound. There's a small grocery store near her house she'll walk past so it's not a detour.

"If you want to!", Sana can hear Mutta shout from somewhere close to Elias probably.

Hanging up after reassuring them that she'll get them their snacks on her way back home, Sana starts running again.

Basketball practice is fun and exhausting but on some days Sana needs some more exercise, usually just to get her head clear and sort her thoughts.

She used to run the same route over and over again but lately she just runs and sees where her feet take her.

Having Kendrick Lamar playing through her Earphones motivates her a little more and only after running for half an hour Sana notices that she's so far from home. It's okay, she knows where she is but she should've paid attention where she's going.

That's why she decides to make her way home now. This time actively trying to take the shortest route.

Since Sana has music playing though her earphones, she almost doesn't hear that someone is calling out her name as she arrives at the grocery store near her house. Just almost.

Taking one earphone off, Sana looks around and in a group of guys that she knows, one of them looks at Sana, and says:"Hi, Sana. What's up?"

Sana forces a smile on her face, and just nods to show that she saw and heard him. Just because Chris had a thing with Eva doesn't mean that Sana needs to interact with him any more than necessary. Especially not when she's in the midst of some guys from his old bus-crew.

Sana decides to just keep walking, into the grocery store, when her name is called once more. It's almost not audible because of the loud laughter of the group of boys standing in front of the store.

The plan was to only look over her shoulder to see who it is and then keep walking. Well, the plan gets cancelled as soon as Sana sees who it is.

"You know Sana?", Chris asks Yousef who nods and walks past him with his eyes trained on Sana, and just her.

"Yeah. You go, I'll catch up with you.", Yousef responds to Chris. He nods when he sees that the rest of the guys are already leaving.

Yousef goes to stand in front of Sana and they look as Chris joins the rest of the guys.

Finally Sana turns her gaze to the tall, dark-haired guy whose house she had egged not long ago. 

When Yousef's eyes land on Sana, a smile finds its way onto his lips immediately.

Sana presses her lips together but as soon as he smiles, she smiles too.

"Hi.", they say at the same time and chuckle at that.

"So.. how's it going?", Yousef asks when neither of them say anything for a few seconds, just standing in front of the store, looking at each other.

Sana's lips quirk up a little. "Not much. Just went on a run. And you?", Sana looks down the road the boys Yousef was with walked down. Pointing at the direction, Sana asks: "Were those the guys you met at the gym?"

Yousef finds himself smiling at first. She remembers that tiny thing he had told her about. But that smile vanishes not soon after, he realizes that Sana's tone didn't necessarily sound very... fond of them. Which Yousef can totally understand.

Nodding Yousef answers: "Yeah, they are. You know them?"

Yousef already knows the answer to that, Chris wouldn't have known her name if they didn't know each other. So he doesn't really know why he asked that. Still, Sana answers.

Raising her eyebrows as if to say 'Yeah, kind of', she says: "They were in third year when I started first year at Nissen."

Yousef nods again, now sure that Sana really doesn't think highly of them. Her facial expressions and the tone of her voice tell all. That makes him almost laugh.

"Don't you..", Sana can't believe she'll say this now, for more than just an obvious reason ,"Don't you want to catch up with them."

She nods into the direction they disappeared to. She doesn't want to keep Yousef making friends. He's new in the city and Sana might have her opinions but if he's friends with them he just is.

Yousef looks in the same direction and turns back to Sana, shaking his head with a knowing smirk.

"It's fine.", Yousef's chuckle and the raised eyebrows tell Sana that he's not to keen on following them.

"Don't like them?"

"No, yeah. Some of them are cool. But.. I don't know. Didn't feel comfortable in that group.", Yousef answers with a shrug.

His eyes wander over Sana's face, which is bare of any make up as far as he can tell.

"What are you up to now? After your run? ... I don't want to keep you from doing whatever you had planned.", Yousef asks. It's not exactly what he wanted to say but he chickened out the last second.

He hasn't seen Sana in about a week. He thought of messaging her over Facebook. Asking her if she wants to hang out. She's the only one he's met so far in this city that he wouldn't mind spending his whole day with. He's meet people here and there but somehow he didn't find real friends yet.

"Oh, it's fine. I'm just picking up some things from the store for my brother and his friends since the store was on my way back home.", Sana explains.

She tries to not let herself be obvious about being disappointed about where his question went. He could've asked something else, especially after cancelling his plans with the former-Penetrators. But maybe he just didn't want to.

Yousef's eyes shot up in interest.  "You live nearby?"

Sana nods. "Down the road.", she plays with her phone in her hands and looks back up again to Yousef when she remembers something. "Hey, I still have your Tupperware-box. By the way, my friends loved the dessert your mom gave me."

"She'll be happy to hear that.", Yousef says, smiling at her.

His eyes travel over her face and when she smiles, and he notices those dimples again, he smiles even wider.

Sana balances on the heels of her shoes, looking to the entrance of the store, back on her phone and then to Yousef.

"If..", Sana says and then bites her lip. She presses her lips together and stops herself from saying what she wanted to say. That would be top forward. Technically, she doesn't know Yousef.

Well, Yousef seems to not like that idea of her starting the sentence and then stopping herself.  He furrows his eyebrows at her and smirks, hoping that she'll say something he'll definitely like to hear.

"If... if what?"

Sana rolls her eyes at his smirk but then sighs and not directly looking at him, she says what she wanted to.

"If you cancelled your plans with ... them", Sana points to where the boys he had been with walked into, ".. and have some time I could give you back your container."

Only when Yousef doesn't say anything for a few seconds Sana looks at him directly.

She sees him smiling and the few times Sana saw him he never looked so good.

"Yeah, sounds good."

-

Sana gets all the stuff she needs from the store and they make their way towards Sana's house.

They walk next to each other. Sometimes with a step between them. Sometimes with their shoulders brushing against each other.

They fall into a comfortable silence at first, both shyly looking at the other every other second.  Then they start talking, about nothing in particular but it feels like it's the best conversation Sana has ever had.

"No, no. You can't tell me you never watched Brooklyn 99!", Sana exclaims shocked. "Okay, I admit that I only watched it because my brother made me but that's such a good show. You need to watch it sometime."

"I'll trust you on that and tell you how I liked it.", Yousef answers.

He loves how Sana's eyes shine when she talks about things she likes. He remembers the look on her face when she had told him about her basketball team not that long ago. It's something different, something that looks very good on her.  But what doesn't? Even after a pretty long run, as far as Yousef can tell, she looks beautiful.

"What?", Sana asks, laughing lightly and narrowing her eyes as Yousef.

He didn't realize he was lost in thoughts for longer than it was appropriate.

Sana sees how he blushes slightly and smiles at that.

Not long after that, they stop walking and Yousef looks around him.  With a questioning look he turns back to Sana and she nods.

"Yeah, we're here." She thinks for a moment. "I'll go get your container."

Still, she hesitates a moment but he just nods with a smile. He looks after her when she runs towards the door and vanishes into the house.

-

Should she have invited him inside? She barely knows him. Yes, she was at his house but that was only because she had such a bad conscience after lying and getting him into the lie as well.

Finding some of the carrot cake her mother had baked just this morning Sana puts some into Yousef's container and turns back around and goes to put on her shoes to go outside again. Where he is.

Or should be.

However, while Sana is putting on her shoes, the door opens and in come Elias and Mikael.

Weren't they home? When she came in she heard the boys in the living room.

Apparently her confusion is very evident on her face because Elias laughs first and then explains: "You took so long that Mikael and I went out to get snacks." Mikael holds up a bag he's carrying.

"And on our way back we found out why you took so long.", Mikael says and right in that moment a third person walks through the door.

"Yousef?"

Elias smiles mischievously and looks from Yousef who smiles shyly to Sana.  "It was awfully impolite of you to not invite him in, Sana.", Elias shoots Mikael and knowing look before grinning at Sana.

She doesn't really know what to do or say. She didn't think Yousef would he up her right now.

"Oh, it's really fine..", Yousef comments with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He looks kind of uncomfortable, kind of amused.

Sana's head snaps towards him, and she's met with a small smile.

The two boys that were in the living room, which Sana mistook for four boys, make themselves heard again.

"Guys, can you talk about whatever you're talking about when I have my snacks?"

Sana knows that it's Adam's voice without turning around and she doesn't know if this could get any more awkward.

"Hey! Isn't that the guy whose house you egged?!"

Of course Sana was wrong. She shuts her eyes and cringes. How much more embarrassing can this get? No, she shouldn't even be asking that.

Yousef slightly lifts his hand: "Yeah, that would be me."

Sana looks at him again, her hands enclosing the container filled with carrot cake, the hall between the living room and the door filled with five guys making her blush more and more.

"Okay. Let's all just go to the living room and then we'll talk about how Sana got caught in a dare.", Elias says, obviously proud of himself.

Sana could kill him then and there.  "Yeah, whose idea was that anyway, right?", Sana says, stating down her brother.

He just shrugs, takes his shoes off and walks to the living room. Followed by his friends.

That only leaves Sana and Yousef, on different sides of the hall.

"So..", Yousef says, drawing out the o.

The two of them are looking at each other. Both unsure of what to say. This is not what either of them imagined to happen when they walked here together from the store.

"Do you want me to leave?", Yousef asks.

Sana furrows her eyebrows, not having expected this question.

"Do you want to stay?", Sana asks.

Yousef's eyes wander over to where the boys walked to.  They saw him standing in front of the house, asking if everything is fine or if he needs directions or anything. When he told them that he's waiting for Sana to bring him something of his, both boys immediately knew what he was referring to and told him that he could just come in. They insisted. And well, Yousef didn't put up a fight because they seemed nice. And if Sana is friends with them, or even related to one of them, they can't be that bad.

So he answers: "If you don't mind."

-

Sana just went to change her clothes. That only took two minutes. How is it possible for Yousef to be integrated in Elias' friend group so quickly?

When Sana stands at the living room door, looking at them discuss about some TV show, it looks like the five of them have always been friends. Yousef doesn't look out of place at all.

He's the first one to notice her. His gaze lingers on her when Mutta is telling him something.

"Elias, where's mom?", Sana asks, making all of them look at her.

"At aunt Fatima's.", he answers and adds, "Now come and join us. This friend of yours has never watched Brooklyn 99 so we're going to change that."

Sana steps into the room but is unsure of where to sit. Adam and Mikael pretty much occupy the whole couch. Elias is sitting on one of the arm chairs, Yousef on a chair that actually belongs in the kitchen and Mutta is sitting on the floor, leaned on the couch.  Sana decides to join Mutta and waits as Elias deals with the TV.

This is weird. Seeing Yousef in her home. He looks around the room the same way Sana does.

'Accidentally' their eyes meet and they both smile.

Sana didn't want him to leave anyway but that he's actually sitting just a few meters away, in her living room is... good.

She wouldn't have thought that this would happen but after she had left his house a couple of days ago, she kept thinking of him. About the long conversation they had in his kitchen. She even considered messaging him over Facebook but decided against it in the last minute.

Mutta leans over to Sana and with a smile asks: "So, the guy whose house you egged is sitting in your living room.", he states and then raises his eyebrows in a questioning manner, "How?"

Sana laughs at that and just shrugs.  "Bumped into him at the store."

Mutta narrows his eyes at her, disbelieving and opens his mouth to say something more when Elias announces that he'll press play now. Before he does that he sends a look towards his little sister and then a wary look towards Yousef.

All four of the boys knew about Yousef's being the house that became victim to Sana's dare. It's not that dramatic, it was one egg, but that's exactly how Adam had phrased it when Elias saw Sana look him up on Facebook. And of course his friends joined in on the search. Meaning that they hovered over her shoulder until she found the right profile.

Yousef somehow can't take his eyes off of her. Well, she's sitting next to that other guy who introduced himself as Mutta. He seems really friendly but he has made Sana laugh twice in the short period of time she's been sitting next to him.

When Elias announces they'll start with the first episode, Yousef directs his attention to the TV. Sana told him it's one of her favorite shows so this might tell him more about her, and he might just end up liking a good show.

Yousef enjoys the show, a lot. Still, his eyes keep wandering over to Sana. Her eyes crinkle when she laughs; her dimples appear even when she tries to hide her amusement.

And once in a while, Sana looks at him at the same time. Their eyes meet, they smile shyly, and look towards the TV again.

-

After three episodes Yousef tells the group of friends that he should get going. Which is harder than he thought it would be to say to a group of strangers. But he feels comfortable around them. More than the other group of guys he met earlier today.

"You sure? We're planning on going out later if you want to join.", Elias is the first one to react.

Yousef smiles at that offer and nods.  "Yeah, I should. But thanks."

"Sure. Then just hit us up if you're up to hanging out.", Elias says with a grin.

The other boys nod along and give agreeing comments.

Sana watches the scene in front of her and can't help but smile widely. When Yousef had told her that he didn't find actual friends yet after he moved, he sounded pretty sad about it. Which is understandable. And as annoying as these four guys can be, they're great people.

Yousef stands up, says his goodbyes but Sana also stands up and follows him to the door. While he puts on his shoes, Sana stands there, leaned on the wall with her arms crossed over her chest.

Standing up, Yousef smiles but doesn't know what to say. He could just say goodbye. But he doesn't want to.

"So...", he says, looking around until his gaze lands on her, "This was fun."

Nodding she agrees.

"Well,.. thank you. I really should go now.", Yousef continues.

"Okay.", Sana says. She looks towards the living room and says: "The guys really seem to like you. I can send you Elias' number if you want to hang out with them sometime."

With his hands in his jeans pocket Yousef nods, smiling gratefully.

A few silent seconds pass and then Yousef opens the door. Just as he is about to step out Sana speaks up.

"Wait! We forgot something.", with that Sana runs to the kitchen and comes back with something in her hands.

Yousef chuckles at the box in her hand. That was the reason why he came here in the first place.

Sana hands it over.

"Thank you.", Yousef says.

"No problem. My mom made carrot cake. I hope you like it." Sana knows she's speaking too quickly. She's kind of nervous. Is it weird that she doesn't want him to leave yet?

"I'm sure I will.", Yousef says, slowly stepping over the threshold.  "Bye, Sana."

She just nods at him, seeing him make his way to the stairs. Sana slowly closes the door, slightly unwillingly.

"Sana, wait!", she hears and sees his foot between the door, stopping her from closing it completely.

Chuckling to herself, Sana opens the door again. She tries to control her smile by pressing her lips together.

Yousef looks into Sana's eyes, slightly out of breath, and takes a deep breath.

"Sana..  would you.. I ... would you like to go out sometime?"

[durianstar]

HEY OK I DID SOME BIOS FOR HISAO AND MASAKO A  WHILE BACK SO. HAVE THESE SKETCHES AND INFO UNDER THE CUT

FACTS ON MASAKO WAKABAYASHI:

17, 2nd year of highschool. 5’6”, 130~ish lbs.

hyperintrovert. despises people. interacting with others is a chore. zero social skills

empathy problems. cannot imagine why anyone would go out of their way to help people on their own. her own self interest is her priority. doesn't care if she hurts someone or their feelings. she does mind her own business though and can’t understand why people would ever start drama

uses her mind control for petty stuff (better grades, more money from her uncle, if someone is coming up to talk to her she can turn them around, etc. her mind control is very powerful but the other person is vaguely aware they’re getting controlled and so if she tried getting them to do something big like attacking someone else they would know.) keeps her powers a definite secret, doesn’t want any attention over it from others

secretly desires a companion where they could just chill and talk about hobbies. craves a real personal connection but she doesn’t even know she wants it. who’d want to talk to her anyways she's difficult. “no one understands me”

honestly just really depressed and disaffected. she’d be a lot nicer if she was happier but she hates her parents she hates her school and she hates the system

enjoys basketball, pretty good at it. knows krav maga (mom is from israel, taught her what she knew from the IDF because masako was genuinely interested. she was like 7 when she was learning though)

not really all that smart. the glasses make her look clever but she's bad at math and studying is her worst nightmare. she’s also terrible at articulating her thoughts. that being said she's very good at writing

relatively interested in fashion. dresses nice in general and keeps her appearance tidy

her clothes smell like mothballs though. her uncle puts them everywhere. she fucking hates it

her hair is naturally mousy, dyes it red with henna. very soft tresses

quite pretty. gentle features, severe eyes and clear skin. has a couple of secret admirers but she’s scary and they would never interact with her

has a lot of story ideas but her characters fall flat. enjoys writing in general though

likes music. listens to everything but enjoys ambient creepy-sounding stuff and kpop girl groups

lives with her uncle on her dad’s side because her parents are always on trips and they need someone to watch her

her and her uncle don’t really get along. he’s very kind but he’s always worrying over her. she hates it when he does that because it actually does makes her feel bad when he’s just trying to help and she snaps at him

she’s fond of him. although they have nothing in common he cooks dinner every night and tries his best to understand how she feels. he's way better than her parents (never there for her, fed up with her attitude, always blamed her for everything, never spent any time with her, never encouraged her hobbies). sometimes she’ll buy him a nice outfit for his birthday with the money she accumulates on new years

fast metabolism. she eats A Lot

favorite food is soup of all types. rice and miso soup is her go-to meal. jewish style chicken soup as well

and yeah she's technically jewish since her mom is. japanese jew

uses “あたし (atashi)” to refer to herself around strangers. uses “あたい (atai)” around her uncle and hisao.

cv: miyuki sawashiro (the deep voiced tough girl voice. the intimidating one)

FACTS ON HISAO EGAWA:

23, draws on commission and works at mcdonalds. 5’3”. also like 130~ish lbs

disgusting

sorta introverted but very outgoing. hes got a couple friends he can kick it with

he lives in his van for sure, can’t afford his own place to live. he lives in his mom’s apartment parking lot

bipolar. can’t keep an office job because his manic episodes are pretty severe and he does get mildly psychotic.

does a lot of illegal shit on the daily. like regular drug use and brewing alcohol at his friend’s crib. probably doing a whole bunch of other shit too while possessed.

has tattoos on both shoulders cuz his friend in the Yamaguchi-gumi did them for him.

speaking of the yamaguchi-gumi like he’s got a Few Friends In The Yakuza. he’s considered joining but he doesn’t want to cut ties with his mom

his pixiv is full of fucking porn like it is absolutely swamped with it. if something isn’t r18 it's definitely suggestive. prominent BL-artist but he draws women sometimes. big on saigenos

actually very smart. he was one of the best in his class all throughout middle school but mental illness ruins everything and at that point his priority was mostly on not killing himself. he didn't go to college

also the cool guy in his school when he wasn’t the shortest. was definitely the short one in highschool and was also suicidal so he was substantially less popular then. people started realizing he was poor and vulnerable around that time too so he suffered a Little Bit Of Bullying but he would beat the shit outta anyone that started a physical confrontation with him. started smoking cigarettes around his 3rd year of highschool. started befriending delinquents and other lower-class teens

he used to be the ace of his school’s ping pong team. stopped going to practice during an episode and got cut from the team

he really loves his mom a lot and he feels really bad for her because she's poor too so he’s determined to help her out as much as he can. he doesn't wanna be an economic burden on her

she used to be an escort but now she’s a nurse (and was part of the yakuza as well but she left when she got pregnant). hisao is illegitimate

has a lot of trouble with commitments. he is, however, determined to make a manga

his story ideas tend to be pretty dull but he can draw characters and dialogue with intense skill

he knows so many damn ghosts and he's friends with like all of em. he prefers them to living people much more since they don’t treat him like he’s an untouchable

no boyfriend or girlfriend. too busy being a loser. he really wants one too but he doesn’t fucking deserve it

terrible fashion sense he just puts on whatever he sees first and slathers himself in antiperspirant

shitty skin. the freckles on his face are mostly hyperpigmented spots where acne used to be. he still gets the occasional pimple on his scalp or hairline. the oiliest

he doesn't keep anything clean like ever. everything that's his is either messy and/or unsanitary

hes like. genuinely a nice person but circumstances had kinda led him to his garbage man persona. always gives a couple dollars to beggars and helps the elderly across the street.

he’s also pretty charismatic in general. he knows how to work the system

listens to speedcore and other garbage like that

LOVES KIDS he's so good with little children he even applied to work at a daycare but they didn't like his vibe and also he has zero professional experience

will eat everything. anything. not picky at all. he does like fruit and bread a lot though

also knows how to cook pretty well. had to prepare dishes for his mom when she was ill (all the time)

uses “おれ (ore)” around basically everyone because he doesn’t give a shit but “私 (watashi)” in restaurants and stuff. he isn’t rude at all he’s just a little coarse.

cv: kazuhiko inoue (like how he sounds when he’s playing a nerd character)