#[ VERSE ;;/ (Mainline) And There Came a Day. ]

[pympartic]

:[ OOC ;; On this edition of Sap // Things I Think Of That Makes Me Emotional ]

I've cooked with some people about how close the Avengers are and how much they absolutely care for and love each other, and one side effect of that is when I apply that Knowledge to my mainline verse where Hank is undergoing an ongoing recovery and therapy for his DID and BP, and so far many writers have put forward that their respective Avenger would welcome him back with joy that he's seeking recovery. Which is nice! That's Nice!

It also led me to think on it emotionally though.

Imagine for a moment if you will; Being Hank in this situation. It doesn't have to be as crazy but just, imagine hurting your closest friends, the people who are almost family, More then Family more then any other bond you've Ever Had with other people. You hurt ALL of them, make them worry for you, mourn you and even when you come back some part of you keeps stressing them and worrying them and your mental health just keeps getting Worse and you make them Watch.

Any Friend group would be valid in kicking you aside; in tossing you out and cutting that line but the Avengers DIDN'T. More then that the idea that when he finally DOES come around to seek help and treatment so many of them would be extending the hand and like-

Can You Imaging that Kind of Platonic Love???

How overwhelming, how potent, how impactful, how RAW that emotional weight would be be??

I think about it A lot...

That moment when Hank Truly sees and understands just how much this team cares about him; even though he spent so long being an argument spot as the Pacifist of the group, even with all the times they butted heads over methods. In Spite of Yellowjacket and Ultron in spite of All Of It.

I don't think its something he ever wishes to take for granted.

[9w1ft]

i think taylor writes songs like ittg & thank you aimee, knowing karlie will eventually be called the muse in some way so she also throws in lines that could be both about her and the real subject of the song, this just came to mind listening to thank you aimee because the line "your kid comes home singing a song that only us two know is about you" would be very karlie coded in any other song, & going along with this, youve probably seen other people explain in full why the "crook" in ittg could definitely be karlie in the same sense as "if i'm a thief, he can join the heist" "us traitors never win" etc etc. i hope this makes sense it kind of sounds like i'm saying karlie is also the subject of thank you aimee in a negative sense but i'm just talking about one-liner lyrics mostly

so i do think that part of the mainline narrative of their story (what is put out there to be believed by the average fan) is that there was a falling out between taylor and karlie, and while taylor felt betrayed by this or that, it was a misunderstanding, and taylor has recognized that over time. ittg fits this nicely. or rather, i developed my way of thinking of things like this because of ittg, and what its intention may have been.

one thing i have been mulling over personally is that a lot of the end of this arc fit well with the release of midnights and tracks like anti hero and the great war, and it could have culminated with karlie going to eras, so the timing of the release of thank you aimee sort of doesn’t fit that arc, future reunion timeline wise. now the back half of 2023 might not have gone at the scheduled pace and they may have adapted so there could be some variance to what is going on, but in general, i tend to think from a mainline narrative perspective that TTPD as an album that exists post-some sort of theoretical reconciliation with karlie, and taylor penning thank you aimee at karlie wouldn’t fit with this narrative.

i think taylor releasing the single and changing the secret message caps to YE furthers the idea that it’s a song directed at kimye. plus, their kids have presently and notably expressed their love of taylor through their social media accounts, which fits the narrative of the song.

it all comes out in the wash though and for the time being people can go on and attribute it to karlie if they want, like they always do, until one day the switch is flipped and things change, but i’m not positive it was the original intention.

on a separate note, here are some posts from my blog about the use of the crook imagery in her work and how it relates to taylor and karlie ☺️

[theubb]

Part 3! probably the lowest effort one yet. Now please let me go on a side tangent here, i just gotta get some thoughts off my chest and a reason for the so-so quality. I will talk abou this part and the AU ofc, i just gotta talk about me for abit, even if i talk to the void i want to get it out there.

I do consider parts 1 & 2 kinda low effort on my part and it most certianly frustrated me then BUT i have grown to accept it. I am burnt out! To give context: all my previous Sonic anything before the event began was for a School project!

We were quite free to do basicly what we wanted and i manged to make mine about Sonic under the guise of learning 3D. I started last September and have been just going at it almost nonstop since. Yes i had a few breaks ofc but nevertheless i was very burnt out by the time That project was done.

So for me personally, The Ubb, personally this event was (for me personally) abit ill-timed personally for me, The Ubb. The idea of Nine traveling the Multiverse was something i had wanted to get around to eventually so when this Event was announced i obviously wanted to participate, it felt like the stars had aligned! sort of.

Thing is becouse of the nonstop work i was already supremely burnt out before the event even started so not great for me personally. I planned that i would just do a Me thing between the 2 Projects, something not related to either. A short little break yea? that was What updating my Sally Acorn design was going to be but we know how that went.

The Result is wonderful, yes, it is one my proudest designs, came out great. BUT she was one of the thoughest challenges ive had so far. More context: it usually takes me like 2-3 days to make a Character design but Sal here took me 2 weeks. 2 weeks.

The result is wonderful but it was not the break i had envisioned. And the timelimit for the event was ticking down, i had lost about half of it by now. Like i said Nine traversing the Multiverse is something ive wanted to do for awhile and with DonelyWell making it uncertain wether or not the Event might return or not it truly felt like a now or never kinda situation, so despite my burnt-out-nes and lack of a proper break i pushed on.

And that is why the quality has been kinda so-so so far, due to burn out my heart hasnt been truly in it.

I will try to push out part 4 this coming week and you should expect it to be of this same quality you have seen thus far BUT after that i am postponing Part 5. I had originally planned to hopefully have it out before the end of august but with the current state of my mental health that is no longer feasable. After part 4 I Will take a break for maybe 1 or 2 weeks to just not work in order to get my mental situation sorted.

Sal proved that a working vacation was not a good solution.

But after the break i will get to work on Part 5 where i will put all the cards on the table. I have decided to put in that extra effort that has been lacking in Parts 1-3 (and probably 4) in order to make up for my sub-par performance thus far, another reason for the break. I cannot say how long it will be between parts 4 and 5, perhaps a whole month or even 2, idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ we shall see

It will be out before the year ends tho, of that i am certain. Current plan is 3-4 big pictures for Part 5 and just a butt-ton of characters. This is to keep me happy as i do not particularly enjoy enviornments but character design is my passion.

The way i work with making the AU designs is reverse engenering my Mainline designs. That way it wont be a complete radio silence from me, The Ubb, but i am saving all my AU designs for Part 5.

But speaking of how i work lets segway back to part 3 yea?

For part 3 here i wanted to introduce this AUs Shadow! This AU is my take on an Anti-Verse AU as i call it, where Bad guys be good guys and good guys be bad guys! IDK if it has an actual Name or some such.

This AUs Shadow is alot more silly looking which is 100% intentional. In this Anti-Verse AU this guy here did not end up nearly as traumatized as Mainline Shadow, main thing being Maria do be alive in this AU! I sadly dont have a design for her yet, will in Part 5 tho.

Also if you do recall; for this AUs Eggy i Changed his name to Ovi Kintobor, i did a name change for some other characters aswell. One of them being Anti-Shadow here, or i suppose i should call him... Terios! cuz thats what i named him yo

I know that Name is attached to prototype Shadow and a design that is quite different from what you see here BUT thing is i have no plans to use Terios in my Take on Mainline Sonk and the Name is simply too cool to not use at all and with me already changing some names in this AU i figiured why not!

Now to talk abit about what he be looking like, firstly the Gun.

I decided to give my Take on Shadow a Gun cuz is neat. I enjoy the idea of Shadow using a gun but do agree that he doesnt really need one, he has Chaos Spears rember? They already cover ranged attacks. The gun needs to fill a gap in his already vast moveset, cover a blind spot so to speak, in order to deserve its inclusion.

So a-thinkin i went!

And then it hit me; the idea to have it function like an extension of his Chaos Spears! Therefore the small canister looking thingy with Chaos Energy on both guns

For Mainline Shadow i decided to have his Gun solve the accuracy problem. Im sure Shadow can Throw his spears real good but what about really long distances? A fancy gun would solve that i think! have it shoot chaos energy powered by Shadow himself, With it being energy based and meant to solve accuracy have it have like next to no drop off yknow? Like a Pistol sized Sniper!

For Terios i wanted to aproach it from a different angle, if not accuracy what else could a gun do for Shadow that his Chaos Spears cannot do on their own?

Well what about speed? Sure Shadow can probably chuck out his Spears quite quickly but there is most certianly a limit. I am sure a gun has a faster firerate than a throwing arm, just sayin.

And with my desire to Make Terios look abit sillier than Shadow i went for a very smooth, round and almost SMG looking shape clearly influenzed quite heavily by certain Tediore Pistols from Borderlands 3.

Next lets talk about the obvios.

I am very happy and proud of my Shadow design, he came out great, Less so for Terry here. You can clearly see i barely changed much, this is mostly due to me not really knowing what direction i wanted to go in at first and then a desire to move on once it was good enough.

But I Did some thinkin! With All three (Terios, Maria Kintobor and Gerald Kintobor) surviving the G.U.N raid of the ARK and thus Terios not being nearly as traumatized as Shadow i wanted to delve abit into the fact that Shadow should be around Sonic's age; in other words a teenager or at most a young adult.

Shadow never got a real chance for a proper childhood and getting to be a proper Kid but for this Anti-Verse i wanted to perhaps explore that abit more. What if Shadow's Story wasnt as dark? What if he got some proper time to be a Kid? Not forced to grow up quickly? Maria didnt die in the raid? Gerald wasnt executed by firing squad?

Thus for Terios i want to go into a more Silly direction cuz Terios just all-round had a better time than Shadow. Wasnt all perfect with sunshine and roses ofc but still better than Shadow. Terios gets be as happy and free like Mainline Sonk!

So when i decide to revisit Terios in the future i kinda want to go in a kinda Silly Super Hero Costume direction. I could go into further detail but i feel i have talked enough for now, see you this coming week with part 4! It will introduce this AUs Sonic, Tails and Metal Sonic, see you then!

I sure do like talking huh

[kalosinflames]

Who was your inspiration for Adam? Like, was there anything he's based off of?

So! Confession time - before I made Adam two years ago I really didn't like Team Flare all that much.

I thought they were forgettable, bland in all the wrong areas and equally cartoony in all the wrong areas. I don't remember exactly what inspired me to make this blog but writing Adam and fleshing out the complexities of Flare beyond their baseline characterization of "rich people want things to stay beautiful" made me appreciate them a lot more and has made Adam one of my best-realised irredeemable muses. 

Adam's actually got a few main inspirations, insofar as his characterization goes! The main thing for me was getting into the mindset and mannerisms of someone who is both willing to end the world and believes it to be the only sane, valid response to the problems they saw.

To that end a good chunk of how I began to contextualise and write Adam came from both Marvel's Thanos and Dragonball Super's Zamasu. I won't go into a deep-dive for these two but suffice to say they both have their reasons to cause mass genocide (on a far larger scale than Adam) and neither view themselves as the bad guy for doing so.

Adam also wasn't initially written with Rainbow Rocket in mind (however much I loved the idea) but eventually it became his mainline 'verse, so there's some differences in how I write him compared to those early days!

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Wes Buckley

Wes Buckley is a cosmic folk songwriter from Western Massachusetts, whose homespun, all-natural music spins off into unexpected revelations, epiphanies and absurdities. He recorded a split with Michael Hurley in 2014 and has released some home-made CDs, but The Towering Ground on Belltower Records is his first official full-length. Jennifer Kelly reviewed it for Dusted last month, observing that “The mystic and the mundane jostle elbows, line to line, verse to verse.” Here he lists some of his favorite drumless music.

If they ever outlaw drums — revolt! But while you’re getting organized you could still listen to most of these…

Mike Cooper — “Knew Strings”

This tune and record continue my endless quest to hear something I can’t quite put my finger on. It started I think with this deliberate exploration of drumless jazz trios while I was painting an entire inn. Led me to ’80s Chet Baker with Phillip Catherine and Jean-Louise Rassinfosse. This sorta led to drumless duos which I will get into more of, both drumless duos, trios, and then solo artists. I like drums but I was questing.

Jimmy Giuffre, Paul Bley, Steve Swallow — “Sensing”

I don’t think I should go much further into the drumless schtick without mentioning Jimmy Giuffre. His Saturday and Sunday records with Steve Swallow and Paul Bley are magical. Yes, I love Free Fall. But another endless quest is the music of older people. Not necessarily ones that came back and reformed the band but ones that have been polishing the glass for many decades without a care in the world as to who is paying attention. Single minded types. There’s real magic in those records. This is some late era JG. So, Jimmy was part of the Music Inn lore here in the Berkshires in the ’60s. All the legends came up from New York and played but Jimmy went a step further and moved here. Passed away right here in Pittsfield and that’s why I have it mind to bring more light to his work locally. We need a Jimmy Giuffre Day and music festival at least. Disgraceful it doesn’t yet exist if you ask me.

Cecil Taylor — “Indent: First Layer”

Indent by Cecil Taylor. I keep returning to this record with big headphones lying in bed going places. It feels so important to me but I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned it to anyone before.

Bill Orcutt — “Odds Against Tomorrow”

Someone else who I would imagine feels the same… Bill’s latest is gorgeous. Bought it in LP form at my local shop so it’s a part of my LP listening which is sort of a different station in the house. Right in the dining/living room zone which usually means being aware of other people when I put on music and I’ve noticed this is a Sunday record. This falls under the list of drumless solo recordings.

Anthony Braxton and Eugene Chadbourne — Duo (Improv) 2017

Duo (Improv) 2017 by Anthony Braxton Eugene Chadbourne

I must say the pinnacle of the drumless duos so far on my path is the 8 hour box from 2017 by Anthony Braxton and Eugene Chadbourne. In the booklet there is an hourglass between them in the studio. Consequently, I noticed that each piece (8 of ’em) are an hour long. I don’t know. Something about that seems so intense to me. We’re going to improvise together for eight hours using an hourglass to guide the pieces and when the last grain falls…

Okkyung Lee — “The Crow Flew After Yi Sang”

I make some of my own instruments with piezo pickups I’ve soldered and they are, barring the cigar box guitars, basically electric percussion sculptures. The series started with circular wooden platters and the first one was called The Pizza. The second one was all painted red and called The Borscht. I use lots of pedals and compose with them via cut up. I could imagine a Okkyung Lee collab with that stuff going pretty well. This cello sounds like someone sawing their own throat with a piano string, it’s truly gorgeous.

Doc and Merle Watson — “Summertime”

Yeah, I listen to music with vocals too. Here’s one of my old fav’s. I recall learning all of the songs on Elementary (poorly) through the years and am still looking for my partner in crime to start a duo that does this kind of stuff at apple picking days at the orchard and such.

Mississippi Fred McDowell — “Jesus Is On The Mainline”

This is a whole live record of Fred on electric guitar with bass and it’s a source of great power in my opinion. It journeys without fear, is fully aware of itself, and as a recording captures the exacting and indivisible nature of earth and wind. And technically speaking, if you're like me and need a slide guru look no further.

Jonathan Richman — “Wait! Wait!”

I wouldn’t want to finish the list without breaking the rule a couple times! One of my favorite duos — Tommy and Jonathan! Ishkode Ishkode and Jonathan’s other latest records on Blue Arrow is a joyful place that I return to without fail. His new one, SA, we have at the vinyl station too though it’s more a making dinner and singing along record. Two things I must do daily.

Billie Holiday — “The Same Old Story (Take 1)”

You might have heard of Billie Holiday. She shouldn’t be left out of any list. This is the one for me. The band, the intro, the piano solo, the swing, the session, the lyric, the delivery. I listen to this over and over and over. When the horns come back in on story and the whole groove locks in I’m in ecstasy, but it’s new to me.

[aion-rsa]

How The Rolling Stones’ Exile on Main Street Earned Its Rep

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Apple TV+’s docuseries 1971: The Year That Music Changed Everything makes it seem like The Rolling Stones’ Exile On Main Street album was more fun to record than listen to, and that sets a high standard. The record distills the band’s sounds, from acoustic world music political ballads, through deep heartfelt blues, to honky tonk so funky you have to shake your ass. The group plays country, Southern blues, R&B, and the almost-punk-before-punk “Rip This Joint.” “Tumbling Dice,” is a radio staple. Keith Richards even took the lead vocals on a track to keep you happy. There was so much material, it came out as a double album. What could be more fun than that?

Richards’ Nellcôte mansion, on the Côte d’Azur in the South of France, was the hardest rocking musical getaway paradise in 1971. It was a Rock and Roll Main Street, and even the most mainstream players mainlined the exile vibe. Guitar god Eric Clapton and underground country legend Gram Parsons mixed drinks and drugs with movie stars like James Caan and Faye Dunaway, while playwright Terry Southern stopped taking note, according to Robert Greenfield’s book Exile on Main Street: A Season In Hell With The Rolling Stones. 

William S. Burroughs inspired Mick Jagger to cut and paste a word collage together to form the lyrics to “Casino Boogie.” Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr dropped by the almost-week-long afterparty for Jagger’s wedding to Nicaraguan-born model Bianca Pérez Morena de Macias in Saint-Tropez. John Lennon, who was on methadone treatment, reputedly threw up at the foot of the grand staircase and passed out in it.

“The sunshine bores the daylights out of me,” Jagger sings on “Rocks Off,” the album’s opening song. The Rolling Stones strolled through their recent past darkly. The murder of Meredith Hunter at the Altamont speedway concert in late 1969 signaled, to many, the death of decade’s peace-and-love counterculture. But the band’s troubles went all the way back to the Redlands drug bust of 1967, and the death of Brian Jones. Adversity worked well, creatively, for the Stones, and they continued to pump out classics like “Gimme Shelter” in 1969, and controversy like “Brown Sugar” in 1971. Sticky Fingers, their ninth album, hung nicely at the top of the charts on both sides of the Atlantic.

The songs, and Allen Klein’s aggressive managerial money-making maneuvers, put the band in the 93% tax bracket for Britain’s highest earners. The Stones owed more than they could pay. To avoid penalties, they moved to France. Mick went to Paris. Mick Taylor, Bill Wyman and Charlie Watts bought or rented places along the French Riviera. Richards and his girlfriend, German-Italian actress and model Anita Pallenberg, moved into Nellcôte, a villa in Villefranche-sur-Mer, near Nice. During the Nazi occupation of France during World War II, the seaside mansion was the headquarters of the local Gestapo. Swastikas were carved into floor vents, staircases and ventilator grates.

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As pointed out in 1971: The Year That Music Changed Everything, the Stones had recently signed with Atlantic Records, and the label wanted an album. The band scoured the Riviera for a suitable recording studio, but wound up parking their mobile studio next to Keith’s house. Richards transformed the basement into a recording studio, and the band stole electricity from the railway tracks across the street to power amplifiers and the mobile recording truck. 

The layout wasn’t the best. Bill Wyman, who is only credited for eight of the album’s songs on bass, plugged into an amp which was mic’d up in the hallway. Producer Jimmy Miller ended each take by running from the truck into the basement to check sound. The humidity caused the guitars to go out of tune. This gave the album its working title: “Tropical Disease.” The song “Ventilator Blues” was inspired by the conditions.

The band also had to deal with Keith’s erratic schedule. “I never plan anything,” Richards says in the documentary Stones in Exile. “Mick needs to know what he’s going to do tomorrow. Whereas I’m just happy to wake up and see who’s hanging around. Mick’s rock; I’m roll.” Richards, Taylor, Watts, pianist Nicky Hopkins, saxophonist Bobby Keys, drummer Jimmy Miller, and horn player Jim Price would jam all night while engineer Andy Johns ran the reels. Sessions would start when the guitarist rolled out of bed, or before he slipped off to put his son Marlon to sleep. After that Keith might pull a disappearing act, playing guitar in the un-mic’d second floor bathroom, or passing out. Richards was open about pot and alcohol, sharing liberally, but quiet about his heroin use.

Richards got clean in the spring of 1971, but hurt his back in a go-kart accident, according to Greenfield’s book. His vehicle flipped while racing his friend Tommy Weber at a track in Cannes. Richards took morphine for the pain, and within a few months, was using again. For sessions, he’d down a Mandrax, which is like a Quaalude, with whiskey. Charlie Watts was drinking brandy until he was past sloppy, and Jagger was taking speed to keep up with the hours Keith set. It was Richards’ place, and Mick was almost a hostage. When he left, it seemed nothing got done. Richards, left alone, could be downright dangerous. He almost burned himself, Anita and the entire house down when he fell asleep with a lit cigarette.

Richards was buying pure, uncut heroin from Castilian dealers. He was getting it by the kilo, and it became part of the social regimen of the villa. He shared so regularly with Gram Parsons that Mick got jealous, professionally. Parsons wanted Richards to produce his next album and join him on tour, which would have left the Stones without their guitarist for two years. Parsons was quietly asked to leave. Drugs split the Stones into two camps: Jagger, Wyman and Watts stuck to pills, booze and softer drugs. Richards, Taylor, producer Jimmy Miller, sax player Bobby Keys and engineer Andy Johns shot dope.

It cost them their gear. Wyman’s bass, Keys’ saxophone and nine of Richards’ guitars were stolen by dealers from Marseille who were owed money, while the entourage was watching television during the day. The Stones’ lawyers bribed local police to keep the party going, but even the most corrupt French cops, like Captain Louis Renault in Casablanca, have their limits. Besides, the Stones were welcomed in France because they were rich rock stars who were going to spend lots of money. If all their cash went to illegal and nontaxable drugs, the French government didn’t have much use for them.

The tipping point seems to have come with Anita Pallenberg. She maintained a steadily rocky relationship with the Stones. Richards stole, or saved, her from a paranoid and abusive Brian Jones, and there were rumors Jagger had an affair with her while filming Nic Roeg’s Performance in 1968. According to Greenfield’s book, Mick also slept with her while Richards was on the nod during the Exile sessions. Police came knocking to ask about a claim that Pallenberg had given heroin to the 14-year-old daughter of the villa’s chef. 

The French police left without validating the charge, but said they’d be back to have a better look around the mansion. Richards and Pallenberg took off on his speedboat, fittingly named Mandrax II. The rest of the band slipped out soon after with the tapes. Pallenberg and Richards were charged with possession of heroin with intent to traffic in 1973. They were then exiled from France for the next two years.

The party continued when the Rolling Stones reconvened in Sunset Sound studios in Los Angeles. The band tossed TVs off the balconies of hotel rooms with Marc Bolan and Neil Young. The tapes for the album stretched from 1969 to 1972. The band edited hours of jams into song structure. Jagger scatted melodic placeholders for unfinished lyrics, and recruited session players like Billy Preston and Doctor John to fill in any sonic emptiness. The words to “Tumbling Dice,” for instance, were written last minute. The song has an unusual structure, as the verses become shorter, the choruses get longer. It may have Watts’ best drum performance.

Exile on Main Street contains some of Richards’ best guitar work. The album really belongs to Keith. “Happy” is almost entirely his. He’s on vocals, guitar and bass, with Miller on drums, Keys on maracas, overdubs from Taylor, and backing vocals from Jagger. “Sweet Black Angel” is a political love letter to civil rights activist Angela Davis. “Shake Your Hips” put the hair on ZZ Top’s lips. The album cover set the visual tone for punk. Some people claim it’s the Rolling Stones’ best work. It is a classic which catches them at their hedonistic peak. Its dirty, loosely played backing created an identifiable sound. The Stones’ first double LP, it is best heard in its entirety, and earned its street cred.

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1971: The Year Music Changed Everything is available to stream on Apple TV+ now.

The post How The Rolling Stones’ Exile on Main Street Earned Its Rep appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3yu3EYr

[errantabbot]

On Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Jesus (and Buddha et al.) - Myth, Reality, and Truth Beyond Historicity

I spent the better part of the day yesterday roaming Kansas City, and checking into some of my more recently neglected places of once common frequent. Taking advantage of the unseasonably delightful weather, in the afternoon I took a stroll through the Country Club Plaza, noting the dizzying array of empty and emptying storefronts, amidst a demolished tract of land where an underground IMO’s Pizza location, a Bank of America branch, the better part of a cinema and the parking garage for my place of Zen practice for many years once stood. It was perverse in many ways.

Eventually, we came to the towering three-story Barnes and Noble which was undoubtedly the Mecca of my youth (that is after Borders went out of business and I started reading, almost exclusively, esoterica not routinely stocked in most any bookstore), and it was fascinating to see the dramatic was that it had changed. The lower level of the store which once housed thousands of albums on compact disk, and films in a variety of formats had been rendered mostly an empty shell, with a few awkwardly placed and angled shelves of freshly pressed vinyl (on sale for 50% off) shielding our eyes from the sparsely strewn cases of decades-old movies, and last-change bargain books.

The upper levels of the store were in relatively better shape, though shelves had once again been commonly turned to more space-filling angles and placements so as to hide the thinning stock. Casually perusing a section of shelving where I once spent many hours browsing eastern religious and philosophical titles, I quickly realized that a rather large selection of wedding planning texts had taken up roost in the space. Among the many titles, one, in particular, caught my eye - “The Wedding Officiant’s Guide - How to WRITE & CONDUCT a Perfect Ceremony.” Leafing through the text, much irony was apparent. In a space where hundreds of volumes on religious praxis and myth once stood, a text now shouted to onlookers with instructions on how to legally usurp the previously uniquely religious requirements for celebrating vows of matrimony, so as to build a business with but DIY training in the wedding industry as an officiant. “An astute if not incidental commentary on the state of religion in the global west,” I thought. Scoffing at the book’s contents, I returned it to the shelf, in its outward-facing, highlighted space.

Continuing through the store, the second floor’s periodical, game, puzzle, and memorabilia collections seemed to remain vigorously stocked and equally shopped. Fascinatingly, to me anyway, was the nearly endless variety of Harry Potter-themed memorabilia, which was interspersed with Lord of the Rings themed trinkets, and Star Wars products galore. I am reminded that the first Harry Potter book was published in 1997 (some twenty-four years ago), and while the last film was released in 2011 (ten years ago), fervor for the series has seemingly done little but increase. Millennials and Gen X’ers (together comprising the ever-absent demographics in mainline religious institutions today) continue to spend their hard-won dollars on Harry Potter themed tattoos, jewelry, home decor, and even vacations with the same energy and resources that religious devotees once earmarked for pilgrimages, icons and wall art, necklaces, rings, and awkwardly placed verses of scripture (tattooed or otherwise).

Lord of the Rings (published some seventy-three years ago in 1948) has enjoyed similar devotion, albeit among a typically older demographic, and Star Wars is receiving nothing but new renewed interest as Disney has begun to pump billions of dollars into the production of content for the franchise some forty-four years into its history (debuting in 1977). Each of these fantasy universes too finds life in ongoing conventions around the globe, replete with Live Action Role Playing (“LARPing”) and “cosplay.” In some cases, there have even been somewhat successful attempts at moving beyond LARPing and into the realm of actual religious praxis with the initiation of such movements as “Jedi Realism.” I find it all quite fascinating and wonderful.

There seems to be something about the overt mythic ethos of these aforementioned universes and appendant pursuits that renders them that much more attractive than the literalism that religion frequently seeks to uniquely attribute to its dazzling array of fantastic stories and parables. Indeed, devoid of such literalism, the fantasy worlds of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars render the truths and archetypes present within their myths (beyond historicity) profoundly more accessible and attractive to generations of post-modern seekers of meaning than religion could possibly hope to at present.

I wrote elsewhere this morning that meaning is made and not found, and that wonder and awe (essential components of the meaning-making process) are found and not made. There is, beyond the shadow of any doubt, wonder and awe to be found in the constructs of the fantastic and mythic, both as presented in contemporary fantasy and in ancient religious fable, and it need not be held up as uniquely literal and real to be really accessible, attractive, and meaningful.

Much like human physiology needs vitamin D to make use of dietary calcium, it seems that myth needs reality to make use of its nutrient contents for the mind and soul, at least in the psycho-spiritual physiology of contemporary people.

It’s a shame to me that the most devout religious practitioners of today tend to also be the most literal adherents of religious mythology. Indeed, there is hardly room among such zealots for seekers so inclined to even sit among them so as to inquire as to what truths might be contained and accessible in the ceremony, ritual, and attached stories of a given religion in any authentic way. The older I get the less tolerance I have for such devotion, bellicose as it tends to be.

As the famed scholar of comparative religion, Max Müller once put it, when it comes to religion “He who knows one, knows none.” I would suggest that interested parties start putting in the work to realize that the present devotion to such fantasy worlds as Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars constitutes a de-facto form of proto-religion, from which we can learn much should we wish to reform and thereby preserve the wisdom of our inherited traditions, before they vanish into the immaterial realities that their literal conceptions constitute.

I’m reminded of a favorite quotation from the venerable poet and thinker W.H. Auden who once wrote “It is as meaningless to ask whether one believes or disbelieves in Aphrodite or Ares as to ask whether one believes in a character in a novel; one can only say that one finds them true or untrue to life. To believe in Aphrodite and Ares merely means that one believes that the poetic myths about them do justice to the forces of sex and aggression as human beings experience them in nature and in their own lives.”

Truly, we do not need mythological literalism (which in fact can be construed as nothing more than overt heresy) to approach reality and commune with its wonder and awe through the uniquely efficacious tools of religion and myth, so as to derive the tools necessary to construct meaning in enduring and transmittable forms. Those threatened by the uncertainty and mystery that is to be found in surrendering to the innate emptiness of mythological literalism stand not on an unshakable or sturdy ground as it is, and would do well to open themselves to the dis-ease intrinsic to the introduction to existentialist unknowing, so as to sooner than later find themselves made whole in its inexorable vest. In doing so, they might help reclaim the once tangible power of the gods and cosmologies that they hold so suffocatingly dear.

~Sunyananda

[creativity-is-rebellion]

Top 10 Favourite Books I Have Read (So Far)

As a writer myself, I can’t help but look back at the novels that have shaped the sort of writer I have become today, and helped me find my own unique voice. A good novel captivates, puts it’s twists in all the right places, and makes you think about the story long after you have finished reading it. It makes you contemplate what it is to be human. It hits you hard and leaves a lasting impression. I thought I could share a few of them with all of you. Without further ado, here goes:

Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy (1873)

It's a story as old as time; someone, bored with their life, risks it all to have an affair; but this one is special for a number of reasons. First, it serves as a commentary about 19th century upper-class Russia, a time when it wasn't necessarily scandalous to have an affair, but it was scandalous to leave your husband or wife because of it. Many people conducted their affairs in secret, but the passion Anna felt for Vronsky spilled over into her everyday life, and because she had suppressed feeling any kind of emotion for so long, the passion she felt was obsessive and all-consuming, even though in the end it sours and she blames Vronsky for her fall from grace, which is so devastating (she is cut off from seeing her son Seroyzha that she had with Count Alexei Karenin) that in the end she ends her life. It is made all the more ironic that the novel starts with her convincing Dolly, her sister-in-law, to stay with her two-timing brother, Stepan, as “family is all that matters.” The elements of the complexity of families is also makes this tale so unique. Secondly, it could be argued that Anna is not the protagonist of the story at all, but that Levin is, because his upward trajectory is juxtaposed with Anna's fall from grace. He starts off an awkward and gruff loner, and moves toward being a content and happy family man, with a wife Kitty whom he truly loves. His skepticism and malcontent drifts away as the novel wears on. It is said that Levin is actually a representation of Tolstoy himself, but the book was actually a labor of guilt for cheating on his own wife. The novel ends with a broken-hearted Vronsky enlisting for a battle that he hopes not to come back from alive. I love how rich and evolved each character we are introduced to is. As I also have a love affair with Mother Russia myself ever since I studied Russian history in high school, this novel is truly my favorite classic.

On Writing, Stephen King (2000)

This book is the most straightforward account of what it is like to be a writer from one of the great (if not greatest) modern novelists of our time. It also offers invaluable advice to aspiring and new writers who are looking to hone their craft, but without the flowery, navel-gazing musings so often found in books of a similar ilk. King's real-life descriptions of his struggles with addiction, his pre-writer life, the early days of his success, and his recovery after a horrific accident where he nearly lost his life are related back to his craft so masterfully, and, as such , I cannot recommend this book more to those who are either interested in the mechanisms behind being a writer, or want to be writers themselves. It also serves as a great book to refer back to after you become a writer to make sure you don't get bogged down in common writing mistakes that inadvertently make your work clunky or uninteresting. To paraphrase, King states, to become a writer, talent is essential, but if you don't have the right toolbox to use when writing your masterpiece, its going to look sloppy. King's toolkit, which he elaborates on in his book, is guaranteed to prevent this from happening.

The Virgin Suicides, Jeffery Eugenides (1993)

I read this novel after I saw the movie of the same name, which was Sofia Coppola's directorial debut. Like most book-to-movie adaptations, this novel contains slight deviations and more character development than the movie, but is still a deeply fascinating examination of both the psyche of the Lisbon sisters, the minds of the neighborhood boys who were obsessed with them, the paranoia of suburbia, parental oppression, and neighborhood carelessness. I remember that this movie came out when I was 16, but we had to wait until it came out on DVD to see it, because, as the movie dealt with teenage suicide, and the place I lived at at the time had one of the highest youth suicide rates in the state, it was banned in local cinemas. The most interesting character in both the book and the movie was 14-year-old Lux ​​Lisbon, primarily because of her rebelliousness toward her parents' overbearing protectiveness (mostly from her mother, but the spineless dad is definitely an enabler) which borders on abuse. This is perfectly juxtaposed with her inherent need to be an ordinary teenage girl in an abnormal household, and the oppression of this need leading to unbridled promiscuity. The accounting of the Lisbon sisters' story in both the movie and the novel, however, is unreliable, as it is never told from the point-of-view of the sisters themselves, but from the grown-up versions of the neighborhood boys who we were in love with them, and continued to be so after their deaths. The passing of the Lisbon sisters left a lasting impression on each of the boys, and still haunts them in the present. Decay in both the novel and the movie in the form of the diseased neighborhood trees and the decline of the local auto industry, are used as both foreshadowing of worst things to come, as well as an allegory of the Lisbon's family life. Finally, the accountability of the neighborhood and neighbors, and their willingness to turn a blind eye as to what was happening in the Lisbon household is also examined. Their fleeting, off-the-cuff and detached observations, as well as the (mostly) silent monitoring of the girls by the boys, is an excellent example of the damaging consequences of the bystander effect, which all to often leads to disastrous ends. the accountability of the neighborhood and neighbors, and their willingness to turn a blind eye as to what was happening in the Lisbon household is also examined. Their fleeting, off-the-cuff and detached observations, as well as the (mostly) silent monitoring of the girls by the boys, is an excellent example of the damaging consequences of the bystander effect, which all to often leads to disastrous ends. the accountability of the neighborhood and neighbors, and their willingness to turn a blind eye as to what was happening in the Lisbon household is also examined. Their fleeting, off-the-cuff and detached observations, as well as the (mostly) silent monitoring of the girls by the boys, is an excellent example of the damaging consequences of the bystander effect, which all to often leads to disastrous ends.

Eugene Onegin, Alexander Pushkin (1831)

As opposed to the entry above, I read the novel before I saw the movie, which did a pretty good job, considering the novel was written entirely in prose. 230-odd pages of verse penned by one of the greatest Russian poets of the 19th century may seem like a big ask to read, but I can assure you, it is entirely worth it. It tells the tale of an uppity lothario named Eugene Onegin, who, bored with St. Petersburg society, decide to move to his recently-deceased uncle's country estate. This move ultimately leads to Onegin leaving a trail of destruction in his wake, including ruining a woman's reputation, killing her fiance after he challenges Onegin to a duel to defend her honor, and spurning the advances of local provincial beauty Tatiana. Onegin then flees back to St. Petersburg, and after several years, crosses paths once again with Tatiana, Who is now married to a high-ranking general and is a permanent fixture of the St. Petersburg high-society set. When Tatiana shows a grace she never possessed before, and treats him with a cold distain whenever they cross paths, Onegin decides that he loves her, and pursues her doggedly, leading to a show-down between the two would-be lovers, but not in the way you would think. His chance at redemption is alt for nought. Although Tatiana admits her love for Onegin, she also tells him that she would never betray her now-husband to be with him. It is a scintillating slow-burn of a tale of love, loss and propriety in a way that can only be recounted by Pushkin. Interestingly, Pushkin himself was fatally wounded in 1837 after he challenged his brother-in-law, Georges-Charles de Heeckeren d'Anthes, also known as Dantes-Gekkern, a French officer serving with the Chevalier Guard Regiment, to a duel, as he had attempted to seduce the poet's wife, Natalia Pushkina. In some cases, life really does imitate art.

The Book Thief, Marcus Zusak (2005)

I like the voyeuristic feel of this novel, even if this sounds a little strange. The special interest that Death himself takes in the main character, Liesel Meminger (who is The Book Thief in question) is perfectly juxtaposed over the horrors of living in WW2 Germany. It’s a charming story, recounted by Death himself, all the way up to the main character’s death many years later. It gives us special insights into all the characters and they way they think and act, with no-holds-barred. A unique and truly good read.

The Big Sleep, Raymond Chandler (1939)

This is hands-down the best noir detective novel ever written, a point I regrettably missed when I first had to read it for Advanced English in Year 11 at school. It has all of the grit expected of the genre and follows Chandler’s mainlining private detective Philip Marlowe, who is hired by a rich family to deal with a blackmailer, Arthur Geiger. His life takes an unexpected turn as he pursues the case and Arthur is found dead.It is both a good detective mystery and a perfect layout for a by-the-numbers look at how this genre should be written. Cool side fact: The Big Sleep is a euphemism for dying.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo Series, Stieg Larsson

Lisbeth Salander is still the best kick-arse anti-heroine around, a fact that is evident from her character being re-imagined by David Lagercrantz in further novels in the Millenium series after Steig Larsson’s untimely death. At the time these novels came out, I remember everyone on the beach reading a copy, and I especially enjoy the first entry in this series, which explores a missing woman, the demise and rise of journalist Mikael Blomkvist, the back-story and growth of Lisbeth Salander, female sex-trafficking, and feminist themes. On top of being a missing-person story, it is also a murder mystery, and has an awesome twist at the novel’s denouement. A thrilling, wild-ride of a read.I think I especially enjoyed it because I like reading novels situated around serial killers. That’s all I’ll say. Read the book.

We Need to Talk About Kevin, Lionel Shriver (2003)

This book is just brutal and a no-holds-barred look at whether killers are born or made.It is told by Eva Khatchadourian in a series of letters to her husband, Franklin, which discuss their son, Kevin, and his behaviour growing up, as well as her reactions to said behaviour, which ultimately lead to a thrilling, if unnerving, conclusion. 

IT, Stephen King (1985)

Although it is a gigantic read at 1,128 pages, IT is worth every page. Stephen King's novel about a demonic, otherworldly entity that preys and feasts on the children of Derry, Maine every 27-odd years is a masterpiece second only to his equally weighty saga The Stand. It tells the story of childhood friendship, and the strength one can have when standing together with friends. It is a perfect tale of good triumphing over evil, which is a familiar theme in King’s books which tends to get overlooked in favour of the more horror-like elements. Be warned, it does jump back-and-forth in time, and there are a few awkward parts of the book that the movie thankfully skipped, but they don’t really feel out of place in the novel. This “clown” will give you nightmares, but the ultimate triumph of The Loser’s Club is worth hanging in for.

The Lovely Bones, Alice Sebold (2002)

I've gotta admit, the ending was unsatisfying, but is probably a more realistic account of what usually happens in unsolved cases such as Susie Salmon's. There is a karmic vibe, and at least the killer is disposed of in an unceremoniously undignified way. It’s ultimately a tale of how grief can keep you stuck, and how acceptance is part of moving on. Totally skip the movie and just read the book.

I just realised, all but one of these books has been made into a movie, whether it be a box-office hit or Indie, which I suppose really just attests to how good they are. I’ll be back with another top 10 favourite books soon no doubt. See you on the flip-side.

[lottalucamotion]

So I wanted to share what I take on what the StEx universe is like. It’s gonna be pretty long winded so I’m placing it under the cut. Strap in.

In my interpretation of the StEx universe trains are still 100% created by and influenced by humans. The end of StEx in which Poppa tried to convince the other engines that they should convert to steam, is a push of revolution against humans. He preaches and believes that use of steam power is the easiest way in which engines can live independently of humans. There is certainly inequality among rolling stock as a result of their lives being influenced by humans. To humans, rolling stock are simply machines whose sole purpose is to maximize efficiency. When rolling stock are not deemed efficient enough, they are retired to either be scrapped, preserved for historical significance, or in some cases abandoned and left to rot away slowly. The birth and death of rolling stock is decided by humans. In this universe, since rolling stock are sentient, they are given some room to indulge and make some of their own decisions. They are provided with places to live, maintenance, and fuel but will also be given a salary for their work. However, rolling stock are far from equal in this system. Let’s first talk about general engines, then I will break it down a bit more. While engines are highly esteemed and better paid and maintained than cars, they, on average, tend to live shorter lives. Engines can live anywhere between a few years to over a hundred. It all just depends on how they perform. That being said, poor performance is most often not the fault of the engines themselves, but the humans who influenced their births. As a result of this, engines often feel desperate to prove themselves as well performing engines as they don’t want to have their lives taken away from them early. This is why the races get so dirty and are taken so seriously. When it comes to the class system of engines, mainline freight and passenger engines tend to be the most well off. As far as lifespans go, freight engines tend to live longer than passenger engines. This is because passenger service, at least in the US, is in a constant fight with the public transport market to be the most efficient method of transport. Freight engines have an easier time keeping up with the market as there is still a place for older, less powerful engines to work efficiently. Freight engines make up a significantly higher margin of the locomotive population, but passenger engines, especially ones that run luxury lines in heavily populated areas (like say Electra) tend to make a much better salary than freight engines. Yard switchers (like Rusty) actually lie below coaches in the class system, but we will talk about cars a little later. They are the lowest paid engines and tend to get the least maintenance (what makes Rusty rusty). Despite this, switchers tend to live longer lives than mainline engines as the needs of yard switchers rarely change. It’s a lot more economic for rail companies to keep switchers for a long time rather than buying upgrades. The social system of engines, while conflict is frequent (and mainly a result of human intervention), engines are quite social beings. They often band together in gangs (like Greaseball) or small family units (like Poppa and Rusty). This is especially common for freight carriers as they will often work in groups. Passenger engines are a bit more inclined to live either solitary or in pairs. Despite being generally social, engines can also be quite territorial. Fights between gangs of engines from different companies are quite common. This is not to say engines can’t integrate into new groups. With factors such as mergers and the buying and selling of rolling stock between companies, engines can integrate into new groups, but introduction needs to be done carefully and monitored.

So now that we’ve talked about engines, let’s talk about cars. Much like engines, passenger cars are higher on the class system than freight. Passenger cars tend to be higher on the scale than even switch engines. Passenger cars tend to live around the same amount of time as switch engines, but not as long as freight. The lives of coaches and passenger engines tend to be quite a bit more stationary and routine than the lives of freight trains as they tend to travel shorter distances and stick to the same lines. You may even say that the lives of passenger trains are a lot more sheltered than freight trains. At the very bottom of the class system is freight cars. They are the lowest paid and least well maintained. Many don’t even get proper housing, and they tend to be passed on between rail companies frequently. The one perk to being a freight car is that they tend to live long lives. They are rarely sent to scrap and simply sold or passed onto different companies if they came from a closed down line (like the Rockies who originated from Rock Island). As far as social systems with cars go, they are typically less prone to reacting violently to other stock. Passenger coaches live in tight knit groups and don’t tend to see as many newcomers. When they do they are fairly quick to integrate new members into their social group. Freight in comparison are very quick to accept new members of their group. They tend to see a lot of coming and going and simply learn to adapt as they go. While engines can be territorial against other engines, they have no issues taking in new cars. There is a bit of fine print to the idea that cars tend to be more peaceful. Because, y’know, there’s the matter of CB, easily the most violent character in the show. While the engines fight, CB is a-okay with creating disastrous and potentially deadly wrecks. This behavior is not exclusive to caboose. Any class of rolling stock can adopt this behavior. Rolling stock will sometimes engage in these kinds of crimes when they feel threatened by an unsure future. As of now, cabooses are not often used by railways. When dynamic braking systems were introduced, cabooses became obsolete. Rolling stock who wish to desperately fight against a fate of scrapping or abandonment will sometimes adopt a life on the run, commiting crimes to either get money (engaging in robbery or acting as hitmen) or doing so as a way to cover their tracks as they jump between companies picking up whatever small jobs they can before burning the bridge. CB was set to be scrap well before cabooses became obsolete, he was set to be scrap to make way for newer cabooses who were to take his job. That is where his life on the run began, but as time went on and cabooses were granted less and less work, his crimes became more and more violent.

So now that the purpose and jobs are established, let’s go a bit into the early lives of rolling stock. Rolling stock do not have a formal system of education, rather they learn by apprenticing other, older rolling stock of their kind. The quality of this education varies heavily. For example, coaches will typically learn to read and write as it helps in their service to human customers. Freight really only learn how to do their jobs and not much else. For engines this can also vary greatly. For example, Rusty, despite having grown up in a lower class situation, had Poppa as a consistent mentor. He didn’t get the best education, but it was decent enough, he can read and write. Greaseball never actually had a solid mentor figure in his life. He grew up in a gang and only ever really learned how to do his job, not much else. He can’t read or write, thus why he can’t even spell ‘sorry’ correctly. Electra actually got a pretty damn solid education and is well versed in mathematics and coding. His dumbassness is just a result of him growing up very sheltered and spoiled, making him rather naive.

When it comes to the death of trains, this varies quite a bit. Most rolling stock will come to the ends of their lives when their companies deem them inefficient or no longer cost effective. For engines this time averages between 25-30 years, but it can be much sooner or much later for some depending on the needs of their owners. For other locomotives they live until their “natural” end (until they break down or are worn down to the point that they can’t work efficiently anymore). This lifespan can be extended with refurbishments or overhauls but only a lucky few engines get this privilege. Some rolling stock reach their end slowly through abandonment, this is a very long process that can be quite painful (Belle the sleeping car may very well have this as her fate0. This is typically a more common fate for coaches, and freight over engines. Some lucky rolling stock will meet their ends being “immortalized” in museums or private collections. For some this means hope of being returned for the rails some day, for others it’s just a death where their body remains preserved (engines or components that would allow the stock to run are removed), though this by no means guarantees that the stock will not eventually be scrapped. To put the aging of rolling stock into perspective:

-Diesels can live up to around 70 years, but some are scrapped as early as under 10 years if the technology does not hold up -Steam engines kept in good shape can live well over 100 years, but some have been scrapped in under two decades due to inefficiency. -Electrics are still fairly new so not much about the true lifespan is currently known, but early experimental AC trains have been scrapped in less than 5 years of service.

So how exactly do rolling stock age? The aging of rolling stock really can’t be compared to human aging. It seems to be kind of all over the board. I’ve determined that the physical age of rolling stock is based on a combination of type (freight cars age slowest, diesel mainliners likely tend to age the fastest), milage (more miles = older age), and maintenance (poorly maintained stock will age more rapidly). It’s not an exact science and varies greatly between individual stock.

[luthienebonyx]

😏 and 👀 please!

😏- your most risky line

I’m not entirely sure what this means, because every line is a risk, the risk that you don’t get it quite right. But in terms of characters taking big risks, well, apart from people hurling themselves over cliffs after each other - because LOVE - (and honestly, that’s almost in a day’s work for those two, anyway) the character taking the biggest emotional risk that I’ve written recently was Brienne in the Aussie Coffee ‘verse, when she kissed Jaime first at the end of A Car Trip and a Conversation:

But only one answer came to mind, so she really had no choice but to take his face in her hands, bridge the gap between them and kiss Jaime Lannister hard on the lips.

👀- favorite response to one of your works

There have been so many works, and so many favourite responses! Honestly, anyone leaving a comment that is even as succinct as “I liked this” is my favourite response when I get it. There are a few they stand out in the memory for various reasons, though.

Someone recently started reading the Aussie Coffee ‘verse at, like, story number 13 or something without realising that it was a series, and somehow got something out of that story without any of the context. But THEN they discovered it was a series and went back to the beginning and read through all of the stories and THEN gave more feedback on the story they’d read first, but now with all the context. That was fun to watch!

Also, someone left this line on (again) one of the Aussie Coffee stories, and it made me quietly chortle again just now when I dug it out:

This fic series is very much like coffee, in that I really need it to be mainlined into my brain stem every day or I can’t function properly.

Writer Ask Game

[your-chaotic-prince]

The Villain!Rosalina AU

OKAYYYY

This is an AU I came up with while I was on holidays. I'll TRY to put it under cut so you can read if you WANT.

[[MORE]]

I'm gonna be honest. I don't like Rosalina. I do feel bad for her, her backstory is sad, but other than that... I just find her boring.

I know I'm saying this as a Peach fan, but in PEACH'S defence, she spends most of the game locked in a tower, maybe she has more personality when she's not being kidnapped. Who knows.

ANYWAYYY

I just don't like Rosalina, so I thought to myself: "Okay, how would I improve Rosalina then? Could YOU do better?"

And then I wondered: "Actually, how come none of the main Mario princesses are villains? That would be so cool! I know Peach has gotten brainwashed and turned evil in one of the paper games, but she's not a mainline villain..." (If you have a Villain!Peach or a Villain!Daisy AU, PLEASE send it to me :D)

Then the thoughts came together...

BOOM!

So.... i heard somewhere that Peach and Rosalina were originally gonna be related, and I know MatPat (ew) did a theory where Rosalina is Peach's daughter.

But I ain't a fan of that theory tbh, but I do want to keep them related.

So I did a vice verse, instead, Rosalina is Peach's mother.

So let me get the main theory underway.

You can keep the backstory stuff. Rosalina's mom dies, she goes to space.... you get the picture, she befriends the lumas, and she gets older slower than the average person.

However, this is where the AU... changes directions from the canon.

At one point, when she's a young adult, she goes to the mushroom kingdom for a while, and soon marries the king and has Peach.

You may be wondering: "Okay how does Rosalina become a villain then?"

I'm getting there.

I'm gonna include my favourite Mario princess Daisy into this a bit. (She's not the main focus though)

So despite the fact we are well aware Daisy's father... exists. Her mother is never mentioned.

This is where the AU comes in.

The queen of Sarasaland, who will be the Mushroom Kingdom's closest ally, dies in childbirth, they weren't expecting this, so they expect it was the cause of black magic instead of natural occurrence.

The only person they know who can do magic is Rosalina, although she is innocent, she gets accused of trying to start a war, and gets exiled from the Mushroom Kingdom, and is never allowed to see Peach again.

This upsets Rosalina immensely, and she goes back to space to watch from above, and grows more and more bitter from each day, until Peach becomes a young adult.

A really salty Rosalina then hears about the Koopa King Bowser + how he wants a queen + mother for Koopalings, so then she hatches a plan with him, she manages to convince Bowser to kidnap Peach, but of course, each time, Mario saves the day.

Until one day, y'know, Mario Galaxy. Bowser brings Peach to space, Mario follows, THIS is where he meets Rosalina.

She pretends to be nice to him, and pretends to help him search for Peach.

But this is an AU so obviously not everything will stay the same. Near the end, Rosalina betrays Mario and reveals to Bowser she never gave a crap about him OR the Koopalings, and that she only wanted to see Peach.

Peach... is less than impressed that Mario was tricked like that. Bowser and Mario aren't too happy either, so the three of them team up to defeat Rosalina.

However, when they think they won, Rosalina erases their memories and resets the universe.

She then pretends to join as a friendly stranger for Mario 3D world, since Mario + Peach can't remember what she did, right?

She keeps joining the Mario Parties + more fun! However, there is someone else who doesn't quite trust Rosalina but they don't know why. I personally see this person as Daisy bc of the rumour that she killed her mom, but if you see it as, say, Toad, Luigi, Waluig or someone else, that's fine!

Finally, one day, that person confronts Rosalina, and it's only when she tries to send people after them, it's revealed that Peach never lost her memories. How? Idk. I imagine the thing in Super Princess Peach that gave her emotion powers gave her memories back or stopped her from losing them.

Peach then breaks Rosalina's wand, and sends everyone else after her. You can decide if Rosalina gets killed, arrested or something else entirely.

And that's the Villain!Rosalina AU! If you would make any changes/edits or add anything else, tell me!

[scarlettlawyer]

Part 12 of my reaction/commentary to the Phantoms & Mirages Saga, the fanfic series by @renegadewangs​

(Chasing Phantoms): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

(Haunted Specters): Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

(Vanquishing Mirages): Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Vanquishing Mirages / Lifting Spirits: Part 10

Lifting Spirits: Part 11

We are rapidly hurtling towards the end. Or… the “end”.

--------

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 12

A single line into this chapter and it had already one-hit-killed me (IN A GOOD WAY). What.

Ohhh my weakness, my weakness…!

THIS SONG?? HIM? THIS SONG???

I have such happy and important memories attached to this song, it’s not just a case of “oh it’s upbeat and I like it” for me, it goes pretty deep. I’m BARELY into reading this chapter and was already put into an unbelievably good mood on the power of the song alone and the memories I have attached to it, let alone everything else about the fact that he is the one who is listeni – ohhhhh going straight for my weaknesses aren’t we.

I’ve gone over being so very happy that he has the ability to listen to music and enjoy it before but you went right ahead and, this was a whole other level, suddenly.

He can pick up & enjoy the happy vibes of this song, aaaah…!

He is listening to Wham! on repeat and no matter what you do, no takebacks, I’m cherishing this for FOREVER. XD

IT’S SO GREAT AND SO AMUSING BECAUSE IT’S H

“You take the grey skies out of my way! You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day! Turned a bright spark into a flame-”

He was going to die. He knew he was going to die.

Honestly GREAT work here with the mood contrast, but I was too busy being blown away/happy and amused by the song situation and shocked that the narrative just did this xDDD like I picked up on this mood whiplash and was like “um whoa” but it kinda passed like a blip when it came to my absorption of this scene/overall mood ahahaha.

Truly though, what excellent contrast going on here simultaneously wherein the reader is drawn into reading of these two threads of such different emotional resonance at the same tiiiime.

And it’s scenes like this where he’s doing stuff like, you know, just sitting and listening to music and the PORTRAYAL and I’m just sitting here like oh my g… s-stop encouraging me… please stop encouraging me… “I’M BAD ENOUGH AS IT IS WHEN IT COMES TO BEING A PHANTOM FAN I REALLY SHOULDN’T BE ENCOURAGED LIKE THIS..!” sdkjnsdnklsd …The rest of this chapter refuses to stop said encouraging. :P

”If, through some miracle, they’ll grant me leniency, I think I’ll spend the rest of my life tucked away in some quiet little corner. That’s the best way for me to stay out of trouble, isn’t it?”

But the image this gave me was so absurd it refused to stick and just bounced right off. That’s just – no, nah, that’s not how this works, you know? There is no good ending. That’s impossible. It’s execution or prison and that’s that. And I was still advocating for execution. Welp. This statement took me off guard and there was this moment of… A sense of… Something. Before I dismissed it. Before it got lost again amidst the other things as I read on.

“One might argue that trouble has a way of hunting some people down.”

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 13

Phoenix Wright would be taking the defense again, as it was just as the Luster trial;

“wait wait wait WHAT – PHOENIX WRIGHT IS DEFENDING? PHOENIX WRIGHT?”

This info is just CASUALLY dropped in this “oh yknow just like with the Luster trial” manner - NO??? THE LUSTER TRIAL WAS A PURE PLOY TO CAPTURE MIRAGE AND THE PHANTOM BEING THE DEFENDANT WAS JUST, BAIT. AND HE WAS ACTUALLY INNOCENT OF THAT SPECIFIC CRIME IN QUESTION AND THE VERDICT ULTIMATELY HADN’T MATTERED ANYWAY AND? IT WAS ALREADY KINDA WILD TO SEE PHOENIX ACTUALLY BEING THE PHANTOM’S DEFENSE ATTORNEY EVEN BACK THEN AND AND AND…!

It’s NOT like the Luster trial it’s VERY different.

Phoenix Wright taking on the defense of Alexander Luster Jr’s case IMMEDIATELY implies a couple of things. Since Phoenix Wright is the posterboy of the entire Ace Attorney franchise, and he has won ALMOST every case he has taken and in each and every one of those scenarios where he won the case, he has indisputably been on the side of good and the side of right and- and he, as a rule, always tends to side with what is right and what is just. He is always ALWAYS striving to be on the side of justice. AND HE IS NOW ALEXANDER LUSTER JR’S DEFENSE ATTORNEY…

The dynamic of the games alone, the Ace Attorney Specific Tropes™ instantly then marks whoever’s side Phoenix is on tends to be a) The Right, Good Side & b) The Winning Side, applying both to the defense of Lex here. That’s what this tells us. That’s what it tells me. Told me. The narrative is directly reaching over and saying “Phoenix is advocating for him, and therefore this is the team you SHOULD be on. This is the team you should be cheering for”. And given Phoenix’s track record, the chances of him losing this are very, very slim.

And I was kind of sitting there like “Hello??? Excuse me?”. The narrative seemed to almost have this… assumption that we should be… Automatically accepting of this. That somehow, we should uncritically want Phoenix to win this trial and for Lex to win his lenience. By bringing Phoenix into this that’s kinda what it appears to definitively tilt the direction in. And I, with a years-old grudge against a character in an ENTIRELY different story written by an entirely different person*, and had been stubborn & adamant from the very beginning that the phantom NEEDED to face execution at any cost when the notion of rehabilitation was raised, was NOT buying it. I was not buying this. The narrative felt like it was making an assumption about the audience’s predisposition – about the audience’s wishes - that still did not apply to me.

*TttP is, for the record, not the only reason I felt the way I did at this point in the narrative. I’ll get into some of the other things fuelling my feelings on the matter a little later. But heh, yeaahhhhh.

Because like, you have characters like Bobby and Athena who are already fully established Lex-supporters, which is totally fine, but Phoenix has barely been in this and we’ve had no scenes at all with him interacting with Lex – there’s been no set-up of “Phoenix wants to advocate for Lex” – we are simply informed of this matter-of-factly, which implies “of COURSE Phoenix would take on Lex’s defense, it’s so OBVIOUS that it’s the right thing to do.” And I was like “oh so we’re doing away with subtlety somewhat on this front regarding the narrative’s agenda?” sdjsdbks. (I MEAN. LEX’S PORTRAYAL AND HOW WE’RE MEANT TO FEEL ABOUT LEX IS NOT SUBTLE AND I ADORE(D) THIS FIC FOR IT, but this was still different – a different angle as it is beginning to tackle the notion of rehabilitation/redemption/leniency head-on. The former was all fun and games but the moment the latter got raised I was immediately in a battle stance).

[Me, pulling up my sleeves: “oh so this is how you wanna play this huh. Bringing in the Big Guns with Phoenix being on his side- you talk a big game but see, not sure if you’re gonna be able to back this up buddy. Biting off more than we can chew, it looks to me.”]

Okay and the other reaction I had to this casual mention of “oh btw Phoenix is gonna be defending Lex”? IT WAS REALLY FUNNY BECAUSE IT WAS THIS SUDDEN JARRING MOMENT WHERE IT WAS LIKE OH, THIS IS ACE ATTORNEY FANFICTION. Okay I want to make this clear – I never at any point “forgot” this was Ace Attorney fanfic, of course. But like. This whole 4th fic so far has been focusing on Lex – now so far removed from the counterpart we see in canon, and Benny, an OC altogether, has also been so prominent and under focus. You of course, still have characters like Bobby and Simon but, see, at this point, this is the fourth instalment of the series, and we’ve been with these characters for so long now. We’ve been spending so much time with them that – these characters – the canon characters that were getting all the focus at this point were just about all VERY removed from the centre of the ace attorney series. It feels so very, very tucked away in this – such a niche little corner of the ace attorney universe with some very specific characters interacting and driving the plot forward, and having spent so much time with them independent of the rest of the ace attorney cast it’s really felt like they’ve well and truly taken on a life of their own that’s attached to this series specifically. Reading so much about “OC”s like Benny and Lex (because in AA canon there is no “Lex”!) and everything and then all of a sudden casually throwing the central character of all of the mainline ace attorney games casually back into the plot like this felt jarring in the best possible way. It was just like “oh, RIGHT. Phoenix. He actually EXISTS in this world. He’s still around, I mean, obviously. This is Ace Attorney Land. Oh my god. In spite of everything – in how much EVERYTHING has evolved and separated itself from and focused on this one tiny little realm of ace attorney characters and canon… he’s still around and can actually get involved in the plot like this. That’s so wild.” LIKE. I MEAN. It well and truly felt like Phoenix Wright was from A Different Universe, so independent and separate from a world where Lex, Benny, Alive & Post-Randy Bobby, and even Blackquill (after how much this fic has focused on him and a specific interpretation of his character) exist. Honestly to even think that Phoenix Wright and Alexander Luster Jr actually exist in the same canon fic verse… whoa.

“The fate of execution does not necessarily mean perfection. If leniency is deserved, leniency is what the prosecution is meant to support,” Simon found himself arguing despite his better judgment.

Me: “SIMONNNNN NOT YOU TOOOOO”

Me at this, on top of the whole Phoenix Wright Defending thing: [resigned, frustrated sigh] “You’re not gonna kill him, are you, Author? You’re not gonna go through with it and kill him off, are you?? I told you like two fics ago to KILL HIM.”

I was a) a phantom fangirl & had been for years (of course) b) “Lex is great how can you not love Lex?” c) Uh… still actively advocating for his execution d) NOT pleased that it looked like said execution was not gonna be followed through on by the narrative.

Okay, but this line from Simon was also frustrating for another reason: it engages with real-life morality, just as Benny’s assessment that Lex being “taken out back and shot” is not something that he feels is “the right thing to do” does.

I was sitting in an ever-so-simplistic corner and not critically engaging with how the ace attorney universe’s punishment system actually functions. The death sentence, as we all know, is so very prominent in this universe. If you kill someone, you die, them’s the breaks it seems. That’s the universe’s rule so that’s the rule we go with, right? Only taking this universe’s criminal justice & punishment system & morality into account, it was So Very Easy for me to sit there and fiercely be all, “the Phantom killed people, and even if he can feel things now, that won’t bring those people back, therefore he gets executed because THAT is justice according to the laws of this universe and justice won’t be served until that’s carried out.” This simplistic stance bypasses entirely any questioning or attempt to consider the actual “justice” of such a system, and flatly refuses to even question the ethics of capital punishment – a topic that can be so very controversial IRL.

It was frustrating to me personally because the narrative seemed to be bringing real life morality into this. In real life, so very many places have abolished capital punishment altogether. It’s a lot harder to flatly argue that Lex should be executed when considering that, realistically speaking, rehabilitation is the far more desirable option and if at all possible should probably be strived for in real world scenarios.

I was arguing for execution on the basis of Ace Attorney Morality and the narrative was retaliating with a taste of Real World Morality which gave me pause. I was so steadfast and convinced of my stance that to have it momentarily shaken like this was exasperating, because “no see, I know I’m right, see, I have to be right, because the alternative is just too far out of reach. It’s too absurd, it’s a pipedream… The phantom was just that sucky that even applying IRL morality… I must be right… right? Yeah. Anything else is just unrealistic. It can’t be done.” I shook it off, and ploughed onwards with my stance.

Leniency from the court system didn’t mean there would be leniency from those outside the courts. With so many people out for the Phantom’s head, there was no telling how fast any sentence that wasn’t the death penalty would lead to a furious rebellion. There was no telling how fast someone might attempt to hunt down Alexander and finish the job that the executioner was deprived from.

“Whoa, very good point. Okay, so maybe there’s a chance he’ll get executed after all since not getting executed is not necessarily being shown as the “better option” in this regard by the narrative. There’s still hope for an execution yet. A nice, clean execution if the alternative isn’t being portrayed uncritically as the “best” option.”

Simon wondered vaguely if he should apologize for all the times he’d thrown a blade at the defense or sent Taka their way. Ultimately, he decided against it.

Sdkjdskj

The scene with Bobby and Palaeno just before the trial begins… How worried Bobby is and how much he truly cares for Lex… It’s just not a joke anymore. It hasn’t been a joke for quite some time. It’s being played completely straight. There’s just nothing to even really laugh at or be amused by here?

Back in Haunted Specters a lot of Bobby’s behaviour towards/concerns for the phantom can largely be written off as Rule of Funny and also accepted BECAUSE of its intentionally surrealist nature & impression it leaves the audience. I readily accepted it because it slots into the character dynamic(s) role and set-up crafted by the story so perfectly, and it’s so much fun.

I, of course, could see the direction Simon and Bobby’s behaviour was heading towards… Yes, they were getting too attached for their own good, to the point where things would become painful. I knew it was coming and I accepted that and, in fact, I was READY for it.

But Lex.

What I did not foresee was the huge, HUGE transformation that took place. Lex changes everything. It changes the dynamic that is subsequently involved. It negates anything about Bobby’s behaviour being “kinda funny in a misguided way”. The existence of Lex changes it dramatically from “haha funny & surreal behaviour from Bobby” to just plain “Bobby is very invested in this man and very worried for him” and there’s nothing funny about it. We just feel plain bad for Bobby and that’s it. I’ve focused on Bobby pretty exclusively here because he’s the one whose narrative thread we’ve been following the most in this particular regard, but. There are many characters (like Palaeno) who care about Lex, and it’s played straight.

It is a scenario that can very much be pulled off and played straight with the emotionless phantom, but Lex’s whole existence throws an unexpected curveball in HOW the situation is played straight and the subsequent impact had on the audience.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 14

“Quite a long list of murders, several attempted murders, grand theft identity and all the crimes that accompany such a thing, terrorism, vandalism, assault, perjury in a court of law, selling government secrets… To name only a few.”

“And the defense’s assertion?”

“The defense’s assertion is that every single one of those crimes was committed by the Phantom- WAAGH!” Phoenix broke off into a terrified holler when Von Karma snapped her whip at him.

SDJBDKJSDJK perfect.

Volent smiled, his kindly demeanor at odds with his rather arrogant response. “Instability, Your Honor. The concept is exactly what it implies- the defendant’s emotional state is not stable. To put it in layman’s terms, he suffers from severe mood swings. I couldn’t uncover enough symptoms that would allow a full diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, yet I would daresay that further therapy might’ve confirmed such a thing. … It wasn’t my job to diagnose any sort of disorders either way.”

Whoa WHOAAA SPECULATION OF A REAL-LIFE DIAGNOSIS…!

This was SO good to see. I really REALLY liked – no, LOVED this a lot. It was just like, of course, of COURSE…! It’s not just cartoonish “hehe look at how emotional he is!” THERE PROBABLY WOULD BE AT LEAST SOME LEVEL OF CONNECTION THAT COULD BE TRACED TO REAL-LIFE DISORDERS…! I don’t know how to express how cool I found this kind of connecting-it-to-real-life to be and introducing mention of a REAL-LIFE disorder.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 15

Benny taking his testimony and turning everything around on its head was SO awesome. So very awesome. Only reason I’m not elaborating is that I have so very much to cover in this post…!

Simon’s. Testimony. My god, Simon’s testimony. I KNEW it was coming but ohhhhhh wow…! I’m still in awe, dude.

“Did you hear, mommy? It must be true love!”

OKAY YEAH OKAY THANKS FOR HAVING WACKED ME IN THE FACE WITH THIS LITTLE REMINDER WHEN I WAS STILL LICKING MY PHANTOMQUILL WOUNDS DFKJSDKLSDNS

BUT ALSO I REALLY LOVED THIS LINE LOL CAUSE LIKE? There’s a kid out there in this fic’s universe who canonically ships phantomquill. But it’s more than that it’s like!!! Phantomquill as a ship is definitely grouped in some of the LEAST kid-friendly ships I know. When I think about phantomquill the LAST thing I think about is a kid being aware of it let alone shipping it – it’s such an interesting juxtaposition to have (presumably) a child, given the information they’ve been presented with, immediately go “Oh True Love!” about what is, in standard practice, an unbelievably dark, twisted and angsty ship.

But in any case, it was around this point that I just kind of started thinking to myself “Oh my god… Oh my god… The author is actually gunning for this, she’s ACTUALLY gunning for a full second chance for him, THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN. BUT WHAT’S EVEN CRAZIER IS THAT SHE ACTUALLY APPEARS TO BE PULLING IT OFF.”

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 16

Crack! Franziska cut him off with a quick snap of the whip. “You must pay due respect to Cohdopian court regulations, Your Honor! This trial has an international nature, thus we can apply international rules. The defendant has recently regained his Cohdopian nationality and this method of questioning is a common occurrence in his home country’s court of law.”

This is ABSOLUTELY allowed, I’m not even gonna attempt to dispute it. Rule Of Drama is in full effect here and I LOVE it, it has my full support.

“Now then, witness. My first question,” Franziska leaned forward, resting one arm on her bench. She was watching Athena with a smug grin on her face. “Do you think the image of your mother’s corpse will ever be erased from your mind?”

OHHH MY GOD. I am… here for the brutality of this direct approach. It’s… necessary.

Lex had turned a few shades paler in a matter of ten seconds.

GET READY LEX. GET READY LEX. Strap in buddy. You WILL sit there and you WILL suffer. You are fantastic and amazing and my favourite character but :^) you’re on your own here.

Franziska shook her head in exasperation. “Tsk tsk. Very well then… Witness, is it true that the defendant took you hostage after he escaped from the federal prison in February?”

As we know, Chasing Phantoms felt like a separate entity from the rest of this series to me, and I had been somewhat less engaged while reading it. This just made me go “oh my god… she’s right… that happened in this series too…!” YOU WERE NOT ONLY TRYING TO ULTIMATELY GIVE THIS MAN A SECOND CHANCE IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING HE’D DONE IN CANON, BUT HE HAS ACTIVELY DONE EVEN FURTHER TERRIBLE THINGS IN THE CANON OF YOUR STORY ON TOP OF ALL THAT. And you WEREN’T even shying away from acknowledging it either. You were shining a spotlight DIRECTLY on this fact as you ploughed forward against the incredible odds. AMAZING. You ALREADY had your work cut out for you and you had gone ahead and actually ADDED to that workload, you absolute madman, this was wild.

But not only this, you were, here, in this scene, drawing a direct link between Chasing Phantoms and Lifting Spirits, with their two such vastly different narrative landscapes. You are reaching out and reminding the audience - having the audience acknowledge the part of the story when the phantom was at his worst while showing us him, a changed person, at his best.

You’re not even trying to hide or gloss over a damn thing.

I don’t even know what to say about Phoenix’s cross-examination of Athena it’s just so good. So vivid. Like, I can picture it in my mind.

It was Lex who spoke up. It was Lex who pushed himself to his feet, his manacles producing a soft clanking sound as he did so.

Oh my gosh… Here it is…

This whole scene where he says thank you. It’s soooooo sappy but I don’t care, I don’t caaaaaaaare I LOVE IT IT’S PERFECT and I will eat it up I WILL eat this sentimentality up forevermore. I’d actually misremembered this scene as being complete with gratuitous tears and big, glistening eyes listen it’s over-the-top and I LOVE it being over-the-top. IF YOU’RE GONNA GO ALL OUT WHY NOT GO ALL OUT? And it DOES do just that SPECTATOR’S COOING I. I LOVE this goddamn series oh my GOSH.

I was so very stubbornly trying to work against my favourite character, but you brought your A-Game. You put in overtime for this character. it felt like WHY DON’T YOU JUST GO RIGHT AHEAD AND DRAW A FLIPPIN’ HALO ABOVE HIS HEAD?! DSJNKSDKJNSDNKJ. So much of Lifting Spirits was me BEGGING you to stop encouraging me to such a ridiculous extent, to no avail.

And noooow it’s AURA TIME.

Enter: Aura Blackquill.

A smile flickered across Aura’s face, but it disappeared again the moment her eyes fell on Alexander. Even from such a great distance, Simon could see it: the raw hatred that was shimmering through. It was no wonder, really, that Alexander cowered in his seat. Most people would think to duck for cover if they were on the receiving end of such a terrifying glare.

OHHHH MY GOD… AHAHAHA… YES.

“I have quite a few things to say to that miserable excuse of a defendant,” Aura began, her tone of voice as venomous as the look on her face. “but such words aren’t befitting of a lady and it appears some clods thought to bring children to this courtroom, so I’ll keep that particular feat of vocabulary to myself.”

Alexander cowered even further. Surely, he understood just how much Aura hated him. Just how far she’d be willing to go to see him hanged. Having her here in the courtroom must’ve been agony on both ends, for Alexander feared for his life and Aura ached to end it.

OMG. GET HIM. MAKE. HIM. SQUIRM.

“What I will say is this. If this monster hopes to be human, he needs to understand that real humans don’t get second chances at life. Especially not those who rob others of their only chance. We live as flawed beings and we die as flawed beings- the size of the handicap makes little difference. Why should he deserve to go on while others don’t? The rules of life and death apply to everyone, no exceptions.”

What a horrific speech. Leave it to Aura to spew something like that.

“I MEAN… SHE… HAS A POINT… SHE RAISES A VERY GOOD POINT…”

The worst part was that from the corner of his eye, Simon could see Apollo Justice nodding.

HHHHHHHHHHHH

Aura slammed one of her hands down on the witness stand, her shackles clattering loudly as she did so. She was addressing Alexander directly, now. “I am not speaking only for myself, I’m speaking for everyone who’s lost someone dear because of you. I’m speaking for everyone who’s suffering because of you. Believe me, we are great in number. We will not forgive and we will not forget. You can’t run from us.”

Ohhhhhh GOOOOOOOSH I WAS 100% CHEERING HER ON DURING FIRST READTHROUGH OF THIS SCENE BUT I AM TERRIFIED OF WHAT TRACKING GHOSTS COULD ENTAIL PLEASE SEND HELP

Alexander shivered and hid his face behind his hands.

PLEASE I JUST. PLEASE. NO MORE. Look at him.

“Hm. No, I believe I’ve made up my mind. Taking all the testimony into account, it’s clear to me what needs to be done.”

The judge raised his gavel. This was it. The moment they’d been working toward. The moment they’d been working for. Alexander’s life hinged on these next words. Nobody dared to speak. Nobody dared to move. Bobby’s hand once again found Simon’s own. He squeezed it in return and glanced sideways to see that Ambassador Palaeno was crossing his fingers.

Me: [Shakes head ruefully] “Well, okay, very well. You did it, author. You earned this, well and truly. Go ahead. You can have this. You actually did it, I suppose. I can’t believe you did it, but you actually earned him his right to a happy ending. So… I won’t object. It’s all yours for the taking.”

I mean, the fact that the trial was ending just after AURA’S testimony was a little foreboding, but… It just wasn’t enough to balance out the rest of the trial and the tone of the entire fic. The verdict felt so clear, I mean, c’mon. C’mon. And the narrative slant, too. The narrative and the POV characters that we are following are so very biased in his favour. This IS what the entire fic had been building towards, and the entire fic had been so terribly biased towards him and the notion of salvation.

So I’m like [rolls eyes], “alriiiight, go ahead, if you must. Give the man his verdict of lenience like ya set out to do. I’m not complaining like I thought I would be. You win again. You set out to do this and I don’t know how, but it looks like you actually got there in the end. If you insist, then he doesn’t have to die after all. I accept that.”

”It pains me to conclude that rehabilitation and civil commitment are impossible in his case. That is why this court finds the defendant guilty and hereby sentences him to immediate execution.”

…Come again?

Um.

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 17

They'd known from the start that there could be only one ending to the Phantom’s tale. They'd known, yet they struggle to accept the bitter disappointment that comes with it.

Execution… Immediate execution. How soon was immediate? Quite soon, apparently, as Lang gestured towards the Interpol escort.

WHAT THE F U D G E

They saluted and made to surround Alexander. To grab him and drag him from the courtroom. The spy jumped up from his chair and backed away in painfully apparent fright, but there was nowhere for him to run. The agents snatched him by the arms just like that. The spectators became even more agitated.

“IMMEDIATE” EXECUTION?! THAT’S… THAT’S NOT HOW THIS WORKS THOUGH. That’s SO fishy. You can’t – you literally can’t just take someone out back and promptly shoot them IMMEDIATELY after a sentence is handed down… can you? THAT’S NOT HOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO WORK. THERE’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE, PROTOCOLS AND PAPERWORK TO BE FILLED OUT AND SCHEDULING TO BE DONE… DON’T tell me they’re just gonna – WAIT. JUST WAIT. HOLD ON NO YOU CAN’T JUST – NO.

At the very least, “immediate” execution seemed like it would be carried out a few days after the sentencing, not… like… ACTUALLY immediately. BUT THE STORY SEEMED TO BE PLAYING IT LIKE THIS.

Just because it felt unrealistic, unrealistic to the point it was fishy, didn’t mean the story couldn’t be about to implement just that, though.

Yet, even through the chaos, Phoenix Wright’s shouts were heard.

“OBJECTION! Your Honor! The defense…-! The defense would like to cross-examine the last witness after all! Your Honor!”

But the judge was already getting to his feet. He was preparing to leave the trial behind. That was only natural. The verdict had been delivered and once that was done, no one could change it.

This is the bad end. This is the game over. God DAMMIT Phoenix you should have LEARNED by now that if given the option to further question the witness or not, you ALWAYS take it lest you choose not to and get an immediate game over. Okay. You need to listen to me. You DID save right before Aura gave testimony, right? So you need to press the start button and reload at an earlier save point and then when given the option to PRESS you- sdkjdflndslksdkj

“Lex!” Athena rushed out from behind the defense’s bench to block the group of Interpol agents. To stop them from dragging a struggling spy out the back door, towards the prosecutors lobby.

YES ATHENA SAVE HIM. SAVE HIM.

It didn’t do much good; there were five of them and only one of her. She was shoved aside as if she wasn’t even truly there.

AAAAAAAAAH

Alexander… He was attempting to fight back like a madman now. Perhaps he was a madman. He was digging his heels into the ground, moving every which way to try and slip through a crack in Interpol’s escort, yet their hold on him was too great. He was screaming, he was shrieking. […]

He would be taken away to be killed. A fate he’d accepted for himself a few months ago, yet things had changed. His desire to live had grown too great.

NO NO NO NOOOOOO. NO!

Phoenix Wright stood motionless by his bench, head buried in his hands.

The miracle never happen.

“I can’t. I have to… I have to see Lex,” Bobby insisted once more.

“No. Last will and testament need to be compiled and you would only get in the way. We’re taking the Phantom to be executed the moment all the final arrangements are done.”

THAT’S SO MESSED UP. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! THAT IS SO MESSED UP. “LEX. IS LEX IN THERE? IN THE ROOM? WHY CAN’T WE HEAR HIM HE WAS YELLING SO MUCH BEFORE WHAT’S GOING ON.”

“This is the only ending this story could possibly have and you knew that from the start.”

Oh how daaaaare you turn this line back around on me like this, against me. The first time I ever heard the equivalent of this line in the series, I knew it was planted with the intent to come back to bite the audience. I was all “hah, you don’t scare me. Joke’s on you because that ending to this story is EXACTLY what I want, so TRY me.”

Seeing it again NOW was terrifying. It was a threat. I did not truly believe that the story would end like this. But this line… embedded into the narrative as it had been, was effective at convincing me it was plausible… it was POSSIBLE. Recurrent lines like this would destroy me on a regular day when I know that they’re coming. I had done NO preparation to handle this line doing exactly what I figured it intended to do when it inevitably came back around because back then, when it was planted, it is exactly what I had wanted, and therefore felt like I didn’t need to. And in the interim, the narrative had gone soft, so very soft, so very, very soft on him, and appeared to no longer have what it takes to go ahead and kill him off, the arc words laying forgotten. Until now, being wielded with full force. Didn’t like the sound of this at all.

Now I would like to break down different aspects of the scene(s) that unfold in the aftermath of the verdict, because there are so many angles at play here:

1. The verdict is still unbearably painful even when clinging to the thought/hope and possibility that he isn't dead/manages to survive/will not die

Because we've spent the entire fic being shown just how much Lex is brimming with emotion and personality and potential from head to toe, only to be told at the end that all of it was worthless, that all of it IS worthless: that he is unworthy of salvation, that all of the striving was for absolutely nothing and MEANS nothing. That, even if the plot allows him to go on living, even if the characters and the narrative (and the audience!) clearly believe he is worthy of a second chance, the law and the legal system doesn't. That in the eyes of the law, his life and newfound being is not worth preserving.

A solid three fics spent on development - and the verdict declares in one fell swoop at the end of it all that he should die, the verdict declares he shouldn't even get to live and should in fact be killed as soon as possible.

The law does not know and does not care about the things we and the characters have seen, the things that the characters have been through together, or the extent of his suffering and STRIVING all the way up until this point. The law doesn't care.

The narrative seemingly turns on its audience in an instant with a snarl. "Well, what did you expect? You're an idiot for expecting anything more than this. Haven't you forgotten who that man is and what he's done? Don't tell me you were actually stupid enough to have hope. You're naive. Just as naive as the characters are. Even when you could see for yourself they were getting too attached for their own good, what did you do? Did you actually follow in their footsteps? You should have known better. You should have had more foresight than that. In fact, you DID have the benefit of foresight and you WASTED it! You have even less excuse than the characters!"

At least, that's the stunt it TRIES to pull, and momentarily, for a horrible, horrible point in time it almost works. But then I'm yelling my defiance too. It's like, "no, actually, story, stuff you, I wasn't stupid at all for having hope, because the narrative itself was the one to give me that hope and that belief in Alexander Luster Jr in the first place. It's wanted us to believe in him from the very beginning, so it's no wonder. This story has been ridiculously biased TOWARDS him, and I know that for a fact because I've been fighting against his having a second chance the entire time and received nothing but opposition in terms of the narrative's directional slant."

So it's like, okay, it wasn't stupid at all in terms of narrative portrayal. The audience can't blamed; it's no wonder they believed. But were they objectively right in doing so or was their belief misplaced after all?

There's this dizzying moment of "WAS the verdict right in its decision? Is what the judge says really true? Is there genuinely no hope for rehabilitation in his case? Is there something that the Judge can see that we can’t?"

The thought of it is so painful. Are the characters supporting him and the audience just idiots, but the court - the judge can objectively see the "full unbiased picture" that we aren't getting, in order to have reached this conclusion? Is he really not worth a second chance? But how? How?! How can that be!

And then the thought passes, it's shot down. No, no. Rehabilitation - a second chance - is obviously possible. How can it not be possible? How can you tell me I'm wrong?! It has to be, look at him. if you've been paying attention to Lifting Spirits for five minutes-

2. The verdict was not the right decision to make and does not bring about any kind of justice.

The verdict is wrong. That's the conclusion we arrive at. There is nothing just about this situation. There is no victory here.

“No! This can’t…! This can’t be right!”

This is wrong. This is not justice. The narrative doesn't even attempt to say otherwise: that's how it's being portrayed. The narrative AGREES that this is wrong.

“Let go of me! This isn’t right!” she hollered, hoping to free herself from Lang’s grip. “You can’t execute him! He’s not a killer anymore! Let go of me!”

Up until the very end... Even as the verdict was being read and I was convinced it would side with lenience, I wasn't entirely sure of what the right choice was, even though I had finally decided to accept such a verdict of lenience.

In the aftermath of the verdict's announcement, I still wasn't sure what the "right" course of action was, how best to handle his case, or what "should" be done.

But it didn't even matter any more. I didn't - I didn't care. I no longer cared about that. It didn't matter what the “best” decision was anymore, I wanted him to- where, where is his lenience?! Give - GIVE it to him!

I was desperate for him to have this regardless, to have this second chance, it was painful and this didn't feel right.

In a sense, when it came to the question of what "should" be done, or what side I was ultimately on come the end, that alone - my feelings and response to this situation - clearly gave me my answer.

And if he didn't die, if he managed to escape death somehow, that wouldn't truly be good enough in alleviating all the pain of this. No, that's painful and would imply still that he's not good enough. But that is antithetical to what we have been shown, and the idea hurts. He needed to be fully, properly have his second chance recognised in the eyes of the law. It got snatched away when it was so close and I couldn't - it needed to happen.

It’s torturous.

3. The main characters that we have been following are actively invested in his survival and his second chance. They WANT him to live and they do not WANT him to die.

Wasn't this what I wanted?

But the thought of his impending death was hurting our main characters so much more than the alternative. They weren't asking him to die. They weren't expecting him to die. It's a very different situation.

For Alexander Luster Jr, the chance of redemption hinges not upon accepting death, but in being granted life.

This idea of him needing to die... One of the key ideas it comes from is that to give him a second chance is disrespectful to all the people that he murdered and all the people that he's hurt, emotionally and physically.

But characters such as Athena, Bobby and Simon are members of that group of people hurt by the phantom, and they are the ones advocating for him, they are the ones who are desperate for this chance and his survival - for him to have a chance.

There is, of course, a very impressive list of other people hurt by the phantom for whom his death is deemed important and necessary. But we have not followed their POVs. As it stands, when we think of who the phantom has inflicted harm on, many of the first characters that may come to the reader's mind are those who /want/ him to live. So what meaning does "disrespectful to those who have suffered because of him" continue to hold when they are our main point of reference?

It does still hold meaning. But it's far more difficult to uniformly advocate for the man now known as Lex to die when this is how at least some of the phantom’s victims feel.

4. The bar for his salvation is set very low, and the severe injustice invoked by that bar seemingly not being met by the court's standards is portrayed very strongly.

The bar is so low. A) There is no need to forgive the phantom of all his many crimes, but merely to acknowledge Lex as his own person b) lenience. Just. Lenience. Not “all charges are dropped you are free to do as you wish”, lenience.

And in contrast, everything about the fake-out screams injustice, almost outlandishly so. The speed at which everything happens – he’s hastily carried away. Bobby and Simon not getting to say goodbye. The characters, the spectators who were on his side screaming their defiance. Everything is taken to its extreme in a mad rush.

And then, of course, there's Aura.

5. The narrative makes no pretence at ignoring the harsh reality of what the phantom was like and what he has done. There is unabashed acknowledgement.

I'm glad Franziska asked Athena if the image of her mother's corpse would ever fade. At that point I was a little like "whoa, okay, at least we are acknowledging this. We are ACTUALLY tackling this angle, I’m impressed.”

And then Aura just came in and blew me away. Aura came along and put my very own thoughts into words, she said EXACTLY what I was thinking, right at the last minute. Words I thought would be left unsaid, and would therefore leave me feeling somewhat frustrated and unsatisfied. But she voiced them and forced the story to confront the fundamental unfairness of the killer getting a second chance when he took away his victim’s only chance.

6. The narrative fully acknowledges that there is no way to make everyone happy and satisfied regardless of whatever outcome is chosen.

“In light of all the information and all the opinions shared with this court, I believe there is no way to please everyone.”

Through both the wording of the judge's verdict and the extremely divided and opinionated spectators, it's abundantly clear. This was a great signifier for me because to give him a happy ending, favourite character or not... It can be very hard to be fully satisfied when the consequences of his past actions are ongoing (e.g. people who are still feeling the losses of loved ones that can never be replaced) or if it feels like certain perspectives are being conveniently ignored/overlooked so as to justify a happy ending.

I fought against Lex's salvation partly because I was convinced that there was no way I could be completely satisfied with it, and that it would therefore feel somewhat hollow or sour if thought about in too much depth.

But the narrative just went right ahead and said "you might not be 100% satisfied, and that's fine; not everyone is going to be 100% satisfied in-universe anyway. Such a thing is impossible. If you're expecting all of the characters to be satisfied before YOU accept the ending, then I am telling you right now that you're asking for something that's never going to happen, because it's just not realistic."

The narrative also played a sneaky little game of "okay, if you're not happy with this, then here's a glimpse of the alternative. Now tell me, which ending do you prefer?"

I’d already conceded and accepted the presumed outcome towards the end, but the story wasn’t satisfied with my mere acceptance. Ohh no, it was like, “not good enough, you’re going to REALLY want this. You have to REALLY want this.” And BOY, AFTER THIS CRUEL FAKE-OUT DID I EVER.

The ending made itself all the better because it forced me to really work for it. Noooo way in hell was it gonna feel even remotely hollow, no way in hell EVER, I am no way no way gonna look a gift horse in the mouth.

The acknowledgement of ANY ending’s inability to satisfy absolutely EVERY angle of every perspective in and of itself made me rush over to embrace the ending in all its splendid glory.

“That’s ridiculous! We’re just as much Lex’s family as Palaeno is!” Bobby blurted out.

There it is. There it is. The conclusion… The inevitable conclusion of what this entire series has been building towards since around Haunted Specters.

There’s only so far you can take a joke before you have no choice but to play it straight.

1. Set up and frame a seemingly absurd/surreal/odd scenario and seemingly play it for laughs

2. Keep playing it for laughs

3. Keeeep going. Keep running with it

And through both escalation and narrative reiteration and reinforcement…

4. It’s not a joke anymore and the audience is invested, Actually. No matter how odd the set-up seemed originally.

I loved that Lang immediately responds with anger to Bobby’s proclamation. I loved that. It makes sense that he would. In fact, it is a completely reasonable response. And we have spent so long building towards this. Lang’s irritation and misgivings about Bobby’s level of investment have been clear as day for a long time – he’s made no secret of it - and they have been building, and right here, Bobby confirms to him beyond all shadow of a doubt that he is too far gone, he is too far gone. He crosses a line. He crosses a line and it is too much for Lang. Two powerful opposing perspectives come to a head in this single moment as they both explode forth at once.

You played Bobby’s investment completely straight… and then you turned it back around on its head again as it is confronted like this by Lang. It is not enough to merely play it straight, but here, the narrative goes one step further and asks “if it is played straight, if it is grounded undeniably now in the character and the narrative’s reality, what does that mean? In what way should it be approached?”

Lang was right; this was bordering on Stockholm Syndrome. They shouldn’t care this much about Alexander.

I am. Floundering.

You are MEAN. YOU ARE MEEEEEAN. XD.

Maybe it was a little bit of Stockholm Syndrome.

No, no. This was a horrible kind of stinging slap to deliver.

Lang framing it that way was fine.

But a character like Bobby potentially internalising it was so very harsh a punch.

For other characters to react to and interpret Bobby (and Simon’s) investment in Lex in a realistic way was one matter. For the characters whose POV we’ve been following the whole way to take up the same line of thinking… felt like a horrific intrusion on some kind of sacred space. An unbreachable, unwritten narrative rule supposedly laid out by the series itself felt as if it were being mercilessly snapped clean in two here.

It seems so very cruel, narratively speaking, because it felt to me like the reader was never ASKED to frame the behaviour and dynamics of the characters in a realistic or critical manner. It was. A JOKE. It started as a surreal joke, serving its specific narrative purpose and then moving on its way. To have ever been realistically critical of the characters’ behaviour felt like it would have only hindered what the narrative seemed like it was trying to do at the time. And of course, it became more than a joke but the narrative has been tailored for the audience to be invested in these characters’ connections. To abruptly rescind on this unwritten rule of “this is fiction and therefore we can have some fun with it and set up some interesting character dynamics!” was like stinging betrayal.

Or rather, we ARE perhaps asked or even encouraged to be critical, but perhaps not in the way it is suddenly portrayed here. The reader does in fact pick up on the fact that Bobby and Simon are getting too invested and that this investment is perhaps not in their best wishes. But that investment seems to be portrayed so as to be compelling, something we are drawn to… not… like this. Or maybe that was just how it felt to me.

For a character like Bobby to be thinking about Stockholm Syndrome… It is not a clear-cut case of Bobby being hurt and grieving. He ponders framing his own grief and attachment in a critical manner. That he “shouldn’t” have been invested or cared this much. That felt so negatory of Lex and his whole existence… It felt negatory of the very plot that the readers had become so very invested in.

Cruel, cold realism.

You finally brought this particular narrative thread to a head, made it so very realised, and then immediately you appear to set about deconstructing it. Through Lang’s reaction. Through the internal thoughts that go through Bobby’s and Simon’s minds.

But my instinctive response is, "no, NO. Your attachment means something. It MEANS something! It's NOT just Stockholm Syndrome!"

If it was the emotionless phantom who had died that they were mourning, then sure, to think of their feelings in this manner... I don't think I would object.

But Lex is full of emotions, he cares!!!!

They can't possibly turn their back on the bond they'd ultimately grown with Lex like this. They can't.

And they aren't. They are just suffering a lot right now, trying to make some sense of this situation - anything, anything to try and make it stop hurting, to force it to hurt LESS. The narrative seems to teeter dangerously close to borderline dismissing the bond they'd grown with Lex through gritty, negative framing tied to a sense of realism. But ultimately...

It didn’t matter now.

Does it, would it even matter, how it's framed at this point? It wouldn't make a difference anyway. What's done is done, what happened is what happened.

The hurt inflicted by Bobby's internal thoughts in this moment and my instinctive objection to them is drowned out and washed cleanly away as we return to focus on the hurt caused by the overall situation and its magnitude. "Does it even matter?". It's like, who cares, who cares about analytical dissection right now, this is where we ended up either way.

It’s something Bobby considers but he’s just too tired to ponder it much because what difference did it even make? That same tiredness to fight back against the framing applied to me, as there was so much else to worry about in this moment.

What was perhaps the most cruel aspect of it all was that Alexander- no, the Phantom had attempted to shield them from this sort of devastation.

Oh no nooooooo. This hurt. Just twist the dagger in some more hhhjghj. It was absolutely true. The phantom had foreseen this. When it came to something like that kiss scene – I was busy focusing on so many other aspects of it, and very distracted by so many narrative threads after that and into Lifting Spirits that I totally failed to seriously register that attempt to shield a character like Bobby from this pain. I should have been prepared for that particular narrative angle to circle back around and I absolutely was not, I had not taken it seriously enough and had been far too distracted. I had been very dismissive of the phantom’s actions in that regard and found him so very stupid for it. Like, “yes, Bobby is too attached, this is apparent, but for GOD’S sake…”

Should have probably expected this, but I did not, and therefore it came as a very harsh shock that the phantom had seemingly been Right All Along.

This was so worrisome. Was the story REALLY about to dump a “this is the best outcome in a sense, as Bobby and Simon’s attachment was too unhealthy anyway, so this was the only way. It’s the best thing for the characters who should never have allowed themselves to senselessly get attached” on us?!

I knew there was one more fic to go in this series. I knew that much, and I did my best to cling to that, to cling to how suspicious and fast this all was, that they didn’t even get to say GOODBYE, but some of the narrative framing was so very scary. I did start to feel a tiny bit of panic, struggled to keep it at bay. But I was on the verge of becoming VERY, VERY upset. I could not allow myself to do so until I finished this fic, because if I allowed myself to become upset – to lose hope over this - it would be all over – there’s no telling how much it would’ve crushed me.

I just needed to power on through and keep reading as fast as possible before I had the chance to become upset. Just… keep reading, keeeeep reading, until I could relax once more… There had to be a reveal that he is okay, there had to be, because the alternative was too unbearable to consider.

The mere possibility of this truly being how this fic ends was way too terrifying.

It was like you suddenly out of nowhere grabbed my arm and BRUTALLY twisted it and just went “oh my god, shut up about phantomquill. Shut up about phantomquill. And will you STOP complaining already about every godforsaken little thing? I’ll kill him. I swear to god, I will kill him. I’ll do it. Do not test me. I’ll do it.”

This couldn’t be the end (could it?!) but there was no way in hell I was going to risk growing complacent and trying to call your bluff. I was terrified. I could NOT risk this all being real no matter what, no matter how small the risk might or might not be I was so scared.

“Please… Just… Just… Don’t do this. Please. Just let him still be alive.”

And he was.

“So… will you finally shut up about phantomquill? Will you finally be GRATEFUL once more and ACCEPT what you are given?!”

Oh, yes. Yes, Meowzy, please, just don’t hurt me.

XD

When there is a defining moment in a story that causes me to flatly deem that moment and by extension everything after it technically “non-canon”, it is VERY hard, nigh impossible, to win me back, because it tends not to matter how fantastic anything that comes afterwards is – because the line of continuity to get to that point had been fundamentally broken in my eyes, usually senselessly so. The appreciation of great stuff from afterwards doesn’t feel “complete” because I am no longer capable of considering it the “true timeline”.

By “win me back” I don’t mean “enjoy the fictional work in question”, because I am still completely capable of doing that if there’s still awesome stuff going on. I mean “restore the work’s claim to being the “true timeline” in my eyes.”

A lot of the Lifting Spirits journey is winning me over and winning me back over. I had already largely gone “okay, okay, I guess… all of this stuff is just so awesome that it’s still pretty much the true timeline. It’s just so good.” Unlike in some other instances where I had made the “non-canon” declaration in the past:

-There is absolutely no drop in writing quality whatsoever. The work demands its place in the true timeline with the rest of the series because it fits in seamlessly

-Just about everything going on is so great and awesome that you’d be hard-pressed NOT to want to fully accept and embrace it all

-The occurrence that I had declared the work was “finished” over (Fake Phantomquill kiss) was so very inconsequential and minor in the grand scheme of things. The declaration loses its meaning when it becomes to seem like just a blip in the radar of all the amazing stuff going on

-The actual goings-on of the scene do fit in fine with the rest of the story, and the scene is not TOO central or relevant to what takes place afterwards so as to be a constant reminder or thorn in my side that I had been baited. The story moves on from the scene after it plays out to far more pressing matters.

But still, STILL, I had withheld its right to Full Canonicity in my eyes. I had been “wronged” XD.

But the fake-out… and then the ending… I was nothing but grateful. True timeline. True timeline. This WAS the true timeline; this is the true timeline and I fully acknowledge it 100%. I embrace it. Why would I EVER throw this golden ending away for the sake of some one-sided phantomquill, if I had to make that choice?! Never.

I’ve much more to say and/or elaborate on, and I will do so… in the next post!

Wow. Looks like one more post and I will have finally done it. That’ll truly take us to the end of Lifting Spirits…

[glittergummicandypeach]

White Evangelical Leaders Still Too Preoccupied With ‘Order’ to Listen to Black Truth | Religion Dispatches

Yesterday, President Donald Trump stood in front of St. John’s Episcopal Church in Washington, DC, holding a Bible aloft as a nod to his white Christian nationalist base as he condemned those who damaged the church during the protests the night before. Minutes earlier, police had cleared the way from the White House to the church, which has a historic association with American presidents, with tear gas and physical force.

White evangelicals, many of whom regard mainliners like Episcopalians as dubiously Christian at best, have been quick to praise the president for what the Republican Party’s official Twitter account called the “truly touching and powerful moment.” Never mind that the diocese was not informed about the visit and that Episcopal clergy who were present are livid about the use of violence to clear the space.

Today President Trump made a strong statement by holding up the Bible in front of a burned out historic church. Joe Biden went to church too…and talked about shooting criminals in the leg. Imagine if @realDonaldTrump had said that inside a church! @JoeBiden

— David Brody (@DavidBrodyCBN) June 2, 2020

Yesterday @POTUS Trump made a statement by walking to @StJohnLafayette that had been vandalized & set on fire in Sunday night’s rioting. God & His Word are the only hope for our nation. https://t.co/DNsTr12TTh

— Franklin Graham (@Franklin_Graham) June 2, 2020

Of course, more insidious than the direct praise of Trump’s show of Christian nationalist force, which came on the heels of his threat to use the military to restore order in the face of days of demonstrations against anti-Black violence and police brutality, is the gaslighting that white evangelicals employ in such moments to deflect from their obvious support for white supremacism.

According to David Brody of Pat Robertson’s Christian Broadcasting Network, for example, Pastor Robert Jeffress of megachurch First Baptist Dallas declared today that “holding up that Bible is a reminder that God’s Word denounces both racism and lawlessness.” This is the same Robert Jeffress whose church choir infamously performed a quasi-hymn unoriginally titled “Make America Great Again” in July 2017, and who, after Trump declared that there were “very fine people” among the white supremacists who descended on Charlottesville in August 2017, took to CBN to declare of Trump, “there is not a racist bone in his body.” 

(In an unexpected exception to the general pattern, on June 1, Pat Robertson himself called for first degree murder charges against Derek Chauvin, the Minneapolis police officer who kneeled on George Floyd’s neck for more than eight minutes, and suggested that Trump should have called for justice against Chauvin and the other officers, adding that it might have calmed the riots.)

To those attuned to evangelical doublespeak, Jeffress’s invocation of lawlessness alongside racism calls to mind the slaveholding Christian’s favorite Bible passage, Romans 13:1-6, which in the NRSV begins, “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities; for there is no authority except from God, and those authorities that exist have been instituted by God.” In 2018, then-Attorney General Jeff Sessions famously used the verse to defend the Trump administration’s indefensible policy of separating children from their parents at the border, an interpretation that scholar Wil Gafney characterized, here on RD, as “white, patriarchal, confederate Christianity.”

In a video speech posted on Facebook, evangelical superstar Pastor Rick Warren similarly condemned both racism and rioting, invoking the authority of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. to do so while bragging that he’s the first white pastor ever to have been invited to speak in Dr. King’s pulpit. Perhaps Warren hasn’t read the entirety of King’s Letter from Birmingham Jail, since he fails to recognize himself in King’s denunciation of “the white moderate who is more devoted to ‘order’ than to justice.

But even those white evangelicals who seem more well-intentioned are in most cases proving quite tone-deaf in their responses to the current crisis. Southern Baptist author Beth Moore, for example, tweeted, “Jesus, come get us,” prompting ex-evangelical author and women’s rights advocate Asha Dahya to respond, “Or how about, instead of trying to escape the situation, do the work of undoing generations of systemic racism and oppression perpetrated by the white Christian American church? As a leader you should be leading. This is the wrong take. Jesus would’ve stayed & turned the tables!”

Or how about, instead of trying to escape the situation, do the work of undoing generations of systemic racism and oppression perpetrated by the white Christian American church? As a leader you should be leading. This is the wrong take. Jesus would’ve stayed & turned the tables! https://t.co/h8I5qIpxZV

— #TodaysWonderWomen OUT NOW! // Asha Dahya (@Ashadahya) June 2, 2020

Meanwhile, Jo Luehmann called out prominent evangelical pastor and author Andy Stanley for deleting a take comparing George Floyd to Samson after he was criticized for the comparison, with many pointing out that black lives shouldn’t have to be lost for white Americans to turn away from racism.

Let’s talk about another way white supremacy shows up with Christian pastors:@AndyStanley you posted a problematic post, I called you out on it, as did many others. And then you just deleted it. Deleting with it our work of educating you and your followers. (1) pic.twitter.com/GS197Cggv3

— Jo Luehmann (@JoLuehmann) May 31, 2020

Similar sentiments from white evangelicals prompted Andre E. Johnson, associate professor of communication studies at the University of Memphis and senior pastor at Gifts of Life Ministries, to tweet:

Why does it seem like it takes Black death to redeem us?

— Andre E. Johnson (@aejohnsonphd) June 1, 2020

While he is currently busy supporting local activists and his congregation in addition to his other commitments, Dr. Johnson generously agreed to comment for this article. Responding to a question about Andy Stanley, he expanded on his lament about the need for black bodies to provide American redemption. “Whenever we talk about how God is going to use something evil for good, why does it have to take black bodies being strangled out, to be strangled and killed, on camera?” Regarding the necessary presence of the camera, Johnson also minced no words. “We don’t get this response if there’s no video. And I’m not only talking about white evangelicals, but I’m talking to white liberals too. You would not be feeling what you are feeling right now without video, and I want you to own that.” He added, “I’m lamenting the fact that Breonna Taylor’s name is not mentioned as much as George Floyd’s, but one of the reasons why is that we don’t have video.”

“It’s easy to imagine that Breonna Taylor and her boyfriend must have done something wrong,” Johnson continued, “the police wouldn’t just break into a house. But of course they would! They do it all the time.” The fundamental problem, in his view, is that “Black truth still does not matter. If black truth mattered, we could really begin to put a dent in this issue.” And one of the reasons that black truth doesn’t matter, Johnson stresses, is that white conservative Christians’ theology is fear-based and “and rooted in the hatred of black people, and all people of color and all people who are not white men, as well as the belief that they are superior, that they are God’s chosen.”

Today, when many white evangelicals have pretensions to respectability despite their support for Donald Trump, most would surely deny Johnson’s claim. But, as Johnson says, “There is no conversation to be had” with those who do not see or accept his full humanity; no middle ground with those whose tradition is grounded in slaveholder Christianity, no matter how much white evangelicals have worked to superficially scrub their record on these matters. It’s hard to see how white evangelical subculture can possibly change for the better unless white evangelicals start facing hard truths like those Johnson lays bare—unless black truth begins to matter.

This content was originally published here.

[terrapinstati0n-blog]

Jam Phoenix

I was never a morning person. I had no choice BUT to be a morning person this past Easter, April 16th 2017, 6:00 AM. The mountain that was my life, turned into a Colorado avalanche that day. For a fleeting moment, I thought I was dreaming when my father burst through my bedroom door telling me to “open the door for the police officers out front.” It had to be a dream, but there was no time for dreaming. I ran down the stairs and opened the door to let in the two officers at my front door who were asking where my mother is located in the house. I followed them up the stairs to find a near lifeless version of my mother lying on the floor. I remember thinking that this moment was bittersweet. You see, my mother was supposed to get on a flight to Florida that morning to visit my then-ailing Grandpa. Had she made it on to that plane, her death was certain. It took about twenty minutes to snap out of this fugue she was in. When she came back to us, it had looked like she just opened her eyes for the first time, like her brain hit the reset button. The way her eyes pierced into mine, was enough to give me nightmares for weeks.  

The nightmares only grew worse when my soul mate of two years decided to end our relationship via text message on the grounds that I wasn’t career oriented in the classical meaning of the word. To her, if I wasn’t going to become a pencil pusher then I was not the man for her. The truth hurts, I wasn’t as studious as her, and I really wanted to be for all of the wrong reasons. Being told you’re not good enough really sucks. But it’s painful when you hear that from someone you love. Although I begged for mercy, none was given. I was forced to move on and never look back. This is when things really started crashing down. It was the start of my summer and my mood was cold and harsh. I had become so cold and harsh that I threw away the bartending gig that I landed for the summer when I lost my temper on a man whose car was worth more than my house.  I didn’t want anything to do with anybody, I didn’t want anything to do with life itself. After a few weeks of self loathing and feeling bad for myself, I decided that wallowing in self pity is only acceptable for so long. I wanted find myself through the bloodshed.

I remembered that while my mother was in the hospital, my dad introduced me to the music of the Grateful Dead because he said it was a “happy feel-good music that you can’t be sad while listening to” type of music. Ultimately, my fear and anguish ran away as I listened to them and got deeper and deeper into their catalogue. I sat in my room most days while my friends were out at the bar or playing hockey and listened to their music. There was one day where it hit me. I was listening to the song “Ripple”, a sort of simple bluegrass classic by the Grateful Dead and I thought to myself… “I could play this if I really wanted to.”  For a moment I recall staring at an acoustic Fender guitar, that I bought for $60 from a friend, collecting dust in the corner of my room. I picked myself up and tried to learn Ripple for about 4 hours. I had a rush inside of me like I was mainlining adrenaline straight to the heart. I was smiling again.

           I had always been a great fan of all music and films. This was mainly thanks to my parent’s always showing me the “cool bands” and the “classic movies”. My parents showed me everything from Frank Sinatra to Prince and all films from Orson Welle’s Magnum Opus, Citizen Kane to Taxi Driver. I was always a curious kid so I did a lot of my own research.  As I began to become better-versed with music and film during this time, I found myself clinging to the Americana style of country/bluegrass, blues, and psychedelic music. As far as films went, I became enamored with the films made in the New Hollywood period during the 70s. These styles really resonated with me. I wanted to be like those people making this art.  I saw myself in Martin Scorsese, I saw myself in John Hughes, I saw myself in all members of the Grateful Dead, I saw myself in Robert Hunter.

The final chapter of this journey I needed to complete to truly find my myself, was to create an identity of my own. Being a college student at a diverse university like Rutgers, I realized I was surrounded by people of all exotic ethnicities and felt as if I was plain because I was a white guy. Thinking back on my tastes in music and film, I have taken a lot of pride in being an American before anything and appreciating the things that my culture has brought to the table for this country, just as others have as well. My culture is bluegrass music from the mountains of Tennesee, my culture is Bonnie and Clyde getting shot down in a blaze of fire, my culture is Rock ‘n Roll.

In the wake of all of the trials and tribulations, I saw myself through in those few months, I made the decision to pursue a life in the world of entertainment with the intent to honor and give deference to the entertains who shaped the culture of this country while adding my own personal twist in it. Whether it be film or movies or comedy, I want to pay homage to the art that inspired me even though it’s not popular right now. I also want to further blur the lines of sight and sound and blend them as one, by integrating film and music in a way that hasn’t been done before. None of these revelations would have been possible without having my heart and mind pounded into dust. I rose from the ashes and became the Jam Phoenix.

 “Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right” – from “Scarlet Begonias” by Robert Hunter

[tearasshouse]

Attack on Backlog 2017 - No. 9 

Final Fantasy XV

Breakdown: PS4 version at 80ish hrs for the Platinum. Plenty of post-game content left undone; plenty of pre-timeskip content left untouched; figure I’ll go back to the game someday (ha ha, not likely) and be like, oh wow, this single-player MMO still has a lot of questing left for me to do, cool (but that won’t happen).

Final Fantasy 15 is a big, beautiful, incomplete, incoherent but ultimately fulfilling and worthwhile experience that won’t disappoint if you have realistic expectations. So, it’s kind of like being in a relationship! Hah. Speaking of relationships, like the ones depicted in this game, and also like my own with the FF series...

TL;DR time! So far I’ve gotten as far as: 

Sephiroth’s fight in FF7 where I parked my characters outside of the crater and went, Nah, putting a stop to that glorious (ly pathetic) summer where I spent my 13th or 14th birthday leveling up Materia or something. Whew. Somehow I just lost the nerve to continue despite grinding for hours upon hours. I didn’t even have KotR, so naturally I skipped Ruby Weapon and that just made defeating Sephiroth kind of... pointless?

disc 3 in FF9, but because I’d neglected and refused to learn Tetra Master up to that point, I pretty much hit a roadblock and could not progress. Thanks a lot! Thanks a fucking lot. I really liked this FF. The soft limits on class specialization, with the way weapons conferred different skills to different party members, but everyone could use pretty much anything, the soundtrack, the characters; a lot of it was great. Ditto about the story tho, wasn’t paying attention ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

fhe first 5 minutes of FFIV on the NDS.

almost 50 hours into Bravely Default, but put it down because the storybeats were just too inconsistently delivered, the grinding, though greatly alleviated with some QoL features, was still a huge grind, and something about the game just... never clicked.

taking a glancing look at copy of FFX/X-2 HD and putting the thing down because I have commitment issues.  

the first 15 minutes of FF Type-0 HD.

and whoa, before I forget, Steam says I have 13.2 hours in FF13. So there’s that. Great music though! Paradigm Shifting is cool in theory too, I guess. But this game is just awful. And now I want to go back and play it. Why do I do this?

All in all a very poor showing from me. FFXV was, comparatively speaking, way easier to dig in. “A Final Fantasy for fans and first-timers” they say. Well, I’m not sure if I fall into either of those camps. I guess I am a fan? Sorta? I couldn’t tell you about the lore, plot or characters of many of the games, but I do own one of these. And I used to listen non-stop to shitty low-bitrate .mp3s of Nobuo Uematsu’s soundtracks on my Walkman. And I had wallpapers of Rinoa and Yuna, and still own a really embarrassing FF8 wallscroll that was gifted to me?

So! As a casual fan then, I found this one... pretty good. I mean, there’s elements of every past Final Fantasy in its DNA. It feels like a Final Fantasy game, which is to say it feels like the ones which came after 12, which did the most to change up the ATB/turn based combat, and perhaps the composition/interaction of the characters, outside of maybe Tactics or 11. 

There’s so much to like here that I’m willing to forgive its shortcomings and missed potential, even if, by the end, the things it gets right is in equal measure to the things it misses the mark on or flat out lacks. It has so much charm and warmth that I’m willing to forgive Square’s misguided reach for critical mass market appeal what with its numerous marketing tie-ins and cross-promotions, or its divvying up of exposition to tie-in films and DLC. At least it gave us that ridiculous Cup Noodle quest line. At least it gave us that. I’m even willing to forgive Chapter 13, and I didn’t even play Verse 2.

I’ve not followed the game at all, so its understandable the ones who clamoured for something like Versus XIII would be a bit irked. All those amazing tech demos and trailers they’ve released over the years? I understand the pain, but ya’ll only have yourself to blame for buying into the pre-release footage. 

Yes, the Insomnia chapter was wholly underwhelming. Yes the pacing is weirdly rushed after you’ve hit Altissia onwards and becomes hyper linear. Yes Lestallum and Altissia are in general hilariously undercooked, non-interactive, tiny and I haven’t encountered something this disappointing since maybe hitting Markarth in Skyrim, where the magic of Skyrim’s first 50 hours really started to wear thin. We’ve truly hit a point where graphics tech has outpaced the ability and feasibility to render more organic, more reactive and believable AI simulation in towns and cities. Maybe all this increased fidelity strikes a dissonance with how we think worlds should be populated and behave? I don’t know. Witcher 3 looks incredible though, and perhaps that’s the game that shows you can have your cake and eat it too. Meaty, meaningful content that isn’t just throwaway Hunt quests, or helping some asshole with his car troubles for the umpteenth time. I’m of the opinion that all sidequests in RPGs devolve into kill or fetch quests, and the rare exception requires you to talk your way to success or solve some kind of puzzle and mechanically speaking there isn’t a whole lot you can do. So, that’s where good writing comes in. Fallout New Vegas, if I recall had fantastic writing in this regard. More recently NieR Automata had really rudimentary sidequests that were carried along with quirky written snippets that expanded upon the world. Then there’s the Witcher games and to a lesser extent the Yakuza series that construct entire stories around side content. Yes FFXV’s sidequests are... uniformly underwhelming. They’re all more or less MMO-like filler content for the sake of inflating the completion time and giving you some kind of incentive for exploring the world. And yes, Luna and Noct’s relationship is hilariously undercooked; she does her Aerith moment and it’s tits up from that point on. It’s a shame you can’t be with Iris though the game teases this; Aranea only shows up to do her thing and disappears; Cor straight up disappears; Gentiana does her thing and disappears, etc. People just disappear, for no apparent reason other than selling you DLC, or they didn’t know what to do with these characters because they are plot movers, nothing more. Sigh.

But you know what? It’s been awhile since I’ve played something like the first half of the game so yeah, sure, whatever. Throw on a podcast and go about overleveling past the main campaign. Go ahead and throw on that FF13 soundtrack and go pick up nutmeg (such a great soundtrack). 

Speaking of which, I loved the music. I might even call it majestic. I loved oddball world design of mashing what seems to be not-Southwestern & not-Pacific Northwestern USA with not-Venice, briefly not-Rivendell (Tenebrae?) & not-Tokyo. I loved playing grab ass with my boys after camping out in the mornings. I loved Ignis being the mom friend and the my headcanon where the guys store all their cooking and crafting ingredients in the same astral plane where Noctis keeps his weapons. I loved the photography feature and Prompto’s arc. I fucking loved fishing more than I thought would. I loved that there’d always be some kind of incidental dialogue when you’d go exploring or take up a quest. I loved that Bahamut had a creepy human face. I loved how dangerous and crappy the Reglia Type-F is to handle. I loved that Gladio would give Noct shit, even undeservedly at times. I loved that Regis and his crew went on a similar journey all those years ago. I loved that there’d be super high level mobs just chilling in the overworld and that level scaling isn’t a thing, but there would still be things that could one-shot you. I can appreciate a game that helps me with completing its campaign, even if it does so kind of forcibly, since open worlds tend to induce some kind of completion anxiety in me. Will you please go and fucking fight Ardyn already? 

About that fighting: I like it? I briefly tried Kingdom Hearts on 3DS and it was... It was not great. But I like the automation in this that allows for just enough player input where positioning and timing is more important than anything else. It’s not very strategic, and you don’t have much in the way of tactical forethought, but it looks cool! Props to Square’s animation team for blending all of it together into a somewhat coherent whole. It’s mostly flash, with just enough engagement to not be a entirely mindless affair. 

I think at the end of the day we all have some kind of preconception of what we wanted FFXV to be, and we were all left somewhat disappointed that it didn’t turn out to be that figment of our fancy. But it exists, its more than playable, there’s a lot to do and soak in and those post-credits scenes with Noct and the lads, and Noct and Luna with the photo you chose were enough to wash away the cynicism and disappointment. 

It feels like, with the completion of the Episode Ignis campaign and the successful rebirth of A Realm Reborn, Square might finally close the chapter on 13/Versus 13/15 and do things a bit better and more efficiently. Or maybe we’ll be subjected to a mobile hell and more games in 15′s mould, the latter of which wouldn’t be the worst thing? I keep saying it but I never follow through with going back to play the older mainline FF games. Now’s the time! Maybe.

[ozhawkauthor]

Happy Birthday, evolution-of-magic!

February 22 - “No, I don’t know how I got a boner, it just kind of happened! It’s because of how you were eating that ice cream, I bet!” Victor/Darcy, You Came Back 'verse, secondhand embarrassment because Logan hears, for @evolution-of-magic

Darcy woke up being carried up a flight of apparently endless stairs by Logan. “Oh,” she said vaguely, “it’s you. Good. Is Victor here?” She could feel him, vaguely, through the soulmate bond, but she felt too unwell to focus on it.

“He’s angry and taking it out on those bastards who had you,” Logan said shortly. “He knows I have you safe. He’ll be along shortly.”

Victor also didn’t like for Darcy to see him covered in blood, she knew, so she let her eyes drift closed and relaxed in Logan’s hold. He didn’t feel or smell quite the same as Victor, but it was close enough to be comforting, and comforting was good after the last few days.

When she woke up again, she was in Avengers Tower; she recognised the medical wing. Victor sat beside her bed, wearing his customary dark and brooding expression.

“Hey, Tiger,” she whispered, disgusted that her voice came out weak and thready. Victor didn’t smile, but the lines of tension around his eyes eased marginally.

“Darcy!” It was Helen Cho’s voice; the slender doctor came into view, Logan as usual shadowing her every move. “How are you feeling?” Helen’s hand wrapped around hers lightly.

“A whole shedload better than… whenever it was Logan picked me up,” she admitted raspily. Helen frowned, picked up a cup from the nightstand and brought a straw to her lips. Darcy sucked greedily and sighed with pleasure as the cool water soothed her throat.

“Everyone who was involved in your kidnapping is dead,” Victor said grittily. Darcy gave him a smile of loving approval, knowing that he needed to assure her of that fact. Her kidnappers had been too frightened of Victor’s potential wrath to physically abuse her - but the problem was that they were too frightened that she might perhaps share some of his abilities to get anywhere near her, either.

Which in effect meant that she’d been starving to death for the six days they’d had her. Thank God there’d been a tiny sink in her cell or she might not have survived long enough to be found.

Her stomach growled loudly, and she gave Helen a hopeful look. The other woman laughed.

“I’ve got soup on a warmer for you. Logan, be a darling and go get it, would you?”

Darcy still found it funny to watch Logan jump to obey his soulmate’s every command. He was back in moments with the bowl of soup on a tray, a few saltine crackers on the side. Darcy was fairly sure that Victor intended to feed her himself, but she wasn’t that far gone. She gave him a narrow-eyed look and he sighed, helped her sit up and set a bed-tray across her thighs.

“There’s ice cream for afters if you get that lot down and keep it down for fifteen minutes,” Helen said encouragingly.

“Please tell me it’s chocolate?”

“Would I dare give you anything else?”

She felt weak halfway through, gave up and let Victor take the spoon, but she was determined to eat it all. The thought of the ice cream kept her going.

Finally she swallowed the last mouthful of soup, lay back against the pillows. Helen gently asked if she could give her an examination; Darcy hushed the faint growl rumbling in Victor’s chest and nodded.

Helen shooed Logan and Victor out; Darcy could hear Victor pacing in the corridor just outside, smiled to herself as she lay back and let Helen check her over with gentle, careful fingers.

“Ready for that ice cream now?” Helen asked finally, and Darcy grinned at her.

“When have I ever not been ready for ice cream?”

They’d spent many an evening when Logan and Victor were away curled up on a couch together sharing a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and mainlining Parks and Recreation. Helen grinned at her, turned to open the door and called Victor back in, sending Logan off again to fetch Darcy’s ice cream.

“How’s she doing?” Victor asked Helen quietly, looking at Darcy lying back against the pillows with her eyes closed, face almost as pale as the bedding.

“On the mend,” Helen told him equally quietly. “We’ve done everything we can, but she needs time now.”

“Whatever she needs,” Victor growled quietly, “she’ll have.”

Logan came in with another bowl, and Victor took it off his hands to take to Darcy. She almost snatched it, grabbing up the spoon and shoving it in her mouth with a moan of pleasure.

Victor’s reaction was completely involuntary. And because he was standing right beside the bed with his groin at Darcy’s eye level, she really couldn’t miss it. She choked on the ice cream and started laughing.

“You cannot be serious!”

Helen looked puzzled, but Logan instantly spied what had set Darcy off and snorted with a laugh of his own.

“Now? Seriously?”

“No! I don’t know how I got a boner, it just kind of happened!” Victor was red with embarrassment. “It was the way you were eating that ice cream, I bet! Making those noises!” He glared down at Darcy accusingly, but he also clearly had no intention of leaving her side, so Logan urged a giggling Helen out.

“I’m sorry,” Victor dropped back into the chair beside the bed. “I really didn’t mean to… I know you’re not… it really was the noises…”

Darcy couldn’t stop her giggles. The happy, musical sound was a balm to Victor’s soul after the last week, probably the worst of his life, since he’d returned to their apartment to find her vanished without a trace. Settling back in his chair, he smiled at her. Embarrassing himself in front of his brother was worth it to hear Darcy laugh again.