#[ NNOITRA YOU BRING ME SO MUCH JOY ]

[despairforme]

[biskael]

“I know I’m not really in a position to make any requests of you. But I’m going to anyway.” As much as he frightens her, she can’t shy away from what she wants to say. “Please take care of him. Not everyone sees it, but he’s good. He deserves to be happy. You both do.”

PLEASE TAKE CARE OF HIM . this girl was a strange one , that was certain. he’d begun to tear the flesh from her bones , when they’d first met . hardly something plausible to commune with . something that would terrify even those more divine than she was . inhuman . a monster . cannibalizing men , and obliterating animals . not many would live past sklavarei’s wicked light . and yet , she was only a mortal girl with a taste of power . and a heart far gentle , what some would call naïve , than his own . quilge thought his a citadel of cruelty . a place where no one else lived . except …

except for him .

a red gaze is cast upon her , & quilge sees the fear in her eyes . not that it stops her . unsure of what he could do to her , should the wrong words leave . still , the girl’s voice never wavers , and the hunter stops . listens to her . she sounds so earnest . a rarity around the palace , where vanity almost serves as currency .

his heart stirs . the man he loved so deeply . perhaps , to some , it hadn’t looked like love , but a soldier bringing home his spoils of war . a selfish , hungry motion of conquest . but it wasn’t all that . not in the time that had past , and hearts that had worn themselves raw in each other’s presence . because how do monsters love ? and what do hunters do when they are cornered ? rifle to the chest , fangs at the neck . an image reflected in the eye of your enemy . yourself . reborn within a heated gaze . then , silence . weapons sheathed .

i love you . i have always loved you . I love you , too .

stay with me ... please . don’t go . i’ll be right here .

it hurts , it hurts . help me ... ! hush ; come here . closer .

quilge cannot help but smile . slight , gentle . something genuine . “ he has such trouble seeing the good in himself … & I had told him until he believed it was true . “ an adoring laugh . “ ——— he says i’m too good for someone like him . that he doesn’t deserve me . I don’t believe that for a moment . we are deserving of each other .

the severed half of my soul i'd once thought lost . a beast & a hunter . a demon & an angel . an arrancar & a quincy .

so , I must take care of him . guide him alongside me . teach him about the joys of the world he had departed from , when he was alone & possessed by sorrow . hardly any others are so patient .

I will love him . I fear no man nor beast . I have to love him , as husband , consort & mate , as an equal match . and , since nnoitra has suffered so greatly , shouldering his despair is what I can do . Loving him —— all of him , the good & the bad —— is what I can do . his wounds , I kiss . his tears , I dry .

I must love him as he loves me : without abandon , without fear . he needs a man to love him the same manner . an intensity unlike any other . we were both in need . and we’d never voiced it until we met upon the battlefields . perhaps , i think … we were fated to meet . that i had loved him in a past life . “

she cannot see the softness his eyes suddenly possess . " but , in truth , it was never so simple . when we had first met , i had known that i was hurting him . that he was hurting me . we wanted to kill each other ... he'd wanted to eat me alive , you know . leave nothing left of me to find . and in turn , i was cruel to him . barbarically so . but , at the time , we'd only saw each other as our own natural enemies . we didn't know that we would become so ... devoted to one another . that we couldn't bear to have the other leave our side . our love was ... tumultuous , to start . and i suppose , that some would say that it still is . some claim that it is too strange . that a union between an arrancar & a quincy could never be . but they don't know everything about either of us . our love has only grown . it ... has changed , as love changes you .

he was a nobleman's son , once . long ago , when no one remembers . and he was in need of a guardian ... someone to protect him from the dangers just lurking within his home . perhaps , as his own living memory fractured , that was something he'd forgotten ...

i love him . i love him so very , very much . and it is a miracle that he loves me in return . " of her own curiosity , her concern , he is grateful . " ... thank you for your kindness . "

@inouehs , featuring @guadanya

[arrancarscenarios]

Any Nnoitra fluff..? Please..?🥺💛

HI, I’M SOBBING... I love this man so much.............

When you come into Nnoitra’s room to lie down with him, it’s late.

You had some things to do, work or errands that kept you away until now. It’s nearly midnight in the human world, and although you know by now that Hollows don’t need nearly as much sleep as humans, your so-called boyfriend is already passed out among the blankets on his floor. (Those things are all soaked in a mix of your scent and his, which is a weird point of pride for you.)

Any of your things are set in their usual places, and you know you need to carefully wake him up before you slip in beside him. If you do and he wakes up to find somebody suddenly next to him… well. It hasn’t boded well in the past, so you’ve learned how to avoid surprising him like that. So you peel back part of the blankets that seem like they’re on top before easing yourself under them.

Then, you reach over to put a hand on his shoulder. You need to bring him out of sleep gradually so as not to jar him. Just awake enough to let him know that you’re here, that if he wakes up with a warm body next to him, it’s you, but not awake enough that he can’t get back to sleep shortly after.

Before you get too far, a groan slips past his lips. “F’ck…” You’d noticed that you could hear his breathing as you came in; now, this close, it becomes apparent that it’s actually panting.

Despite the fact that there are no actual tears, Nnoitra is breathing as if he’s crying.

“(Name),” you manage to make out in between all his other muttering. “(Name), please… need you… I need… need you… where… c’mon… where ‘re you… (Name)…”

The way he’s saying your name, begging for you to just be with him, is — shocking. It’s something you’ve never even remotely heard from him. That’s not Nnoitra. Nnoitra is not soft or pathetic enough to say that he needs you or to call for you in the middle of the night. He must be having some awful nightmare, something that’s made him vulnerable enough that crying for you is the least humiliating option.

What could possibly be going on inside that head of his? Your poor boyfriend. You wonder, you hope, that when you wake him up from this, he won’t be embarrassed to the point that he’ll send you away tonight. No matter how much he might fight it, you know he needs to have you close. Even when he’s feeling weak. Especially when he’s feeling weak.

You move your hand up from his shoulder into his hair. It’s all tangled around him, so long you’re surprised he doesn’t get lost in it, and you slowly start to comb your fingers through the copious black strands. “Nnoitra,” you hum softly. “Hey, honey. It’s me.”

Your touch and voice seems to bring on another round of distress. What sounds like a choked-off sob leaves him, along with a desperate whimper that breaks your heart. “(Name)… fuck, fuck… please… (Name)… (Name), where you’re at…? (Name)… (Name)…”

“Nnoitra, shhh, shh. Hey, wake up, babe.” You keep your voice quiet, not wanting to startle him, but wanting him to come out of this dream that’s torturing him so badly.

It takes a moment, then suddenly his eye snaps open. He’s not really focusing, still sort of back in the dream even though he’s awake, and he immediately scrambles in an attempt to get the blankets off. “(Name)! Th’ fuck?! Where the fuck are y—?!”

Your hands quickly run through his hair again, segueing to rest on his cheeks. “Hey, hey, hey. Nnoitra. I’m here. I’m right here. Everything’s okay. It’s me.”

“The… the fuck…” You can tell his mind is still thinking about whatever was going on in his nightmare. Probably wondering what’s real and what’s not, maybe thinking that you speaking to him now is a dream. “… Dammit…”

“Shhhhh. It’s okay. Everything’s okay, hon.” You draw him closer to you, and he must still be half-asleep, because he lets you. He doesn’t return the gesture aside from vaguely leaning in, but he doesn’t actively push you away or pull back. “You were dreaming. I don’t know what was happening, but you kept saying my name.”

You’re almost certain you’ll never get him to tell you what was going on in the dream. It doesn’t really matter, not as much as the fact that he lays his head against your chest. You know why; your heartbeat. When he’s too tired to care what the hell you think of him being so ‘tame’, he practically invades your space and pushes himself right up against your heartbeat.

By this point, you understand the significance of that sound for Hollows. Even so, Nnoitra never says anything about it. He just does it. And usually if you say anything at all about it, he pushes away. That’s just how he is.

This time, when you press his head in, gently, and murmur, “Just listen to my heartbeat,” he doesn’t move. He just stays there, his eye squeezed shut, holding himself so tightly wound that he’s trembling from the effort of keeping his muscles so tense. He’s still breathing harshly, too, like he can’t relax.

Then again, you don’t think he’s ever really relaxed in the time you’ve known him. He’s not even all that calm when he’s asleep. But this is… a little different. Like he’s really disturbed just by the fact that, whatever happened in his dream, you weren’t there when he was calling for you.

“Try to slow down your breathing,” you murmur against the top of his head. Here in your arms, lying on your chest, he seems so small instead of being the intimidating force that always towers over you. He’s curling up, as if he’s trying to make himself seem smaller, which is so incredibly not Nnoitra Gilga that you think it must be some kind of Hollow instinct or something. “Everything’s okay, Nnoitra. I’m here. You’re safe.”

That appears to be the magic phrase. Suddenly he shudders like something dying, and his gaze jerks up toward you. That eye is wide, with a swirl of unidentifiable emotions making a storm inside it. You see relief. You see rage. You see despair. Disbelief. Joy. Disgust. Confusion. There are things within that one single look that you know he can’t ever express in words, and you don’t fully comprehend everything.

It looks like he wants to cry. He’s still not totally lucid, but he’s aware enough for his mind to sort of process what you said, and the reminder that you’re here and he’s safe with you makes him look like he wants to cry.

He stares at you like that for a long moment, then, hesitantly, you run your hand through his hair again. And again. And again. “You’re safe,” you repeat, in almost a whisper this time. “You’re safe because I’m here. I love you. I’m here, and you’re safe. I’m here. It’s okay. You’re okay. Take a deep breath for me. Focus on my voice and my heartbeat. I’m here now. You’re safe.”

Slowly, he actually listens to you. In the most submissive gesture you’ve ever seen from him, he lowers himself back down to rest his head on your heartbeat. It takes a moment, but eventually, his breathing becomes even, nearly matching the pace of yours.

You don’t think he’s ever going to be completely at peace. At least for this moment, though, it seems like he’s able to accept the fact that he’s safe. That everything’s okay, even if it’s only okay until the morning.

You’ve closed your eyes, continuing to pet his hair, and you think he’s fallen asleep again when out of nowhere, he sucks in a shaky breath.

“Fuck,” he mumbles with his face buried in your chest and your clothing bunched between his rail-thin fingers. “’m safe.”

[despairforme]

Nnoitra got 24th on the bleach popularity pole at 1315 votes directly below AIZEN and higher than even Nel and YORUICHI????? There was 90,000 total too we are SO BACK

[ O H my GOD WHAT ??????? Nnoitra getting appreciation ?? I CANNOT BELIEVE he placed 24th !!!!!!! I wonder who these people were....... WE ARE SO BACK !! This made me really happy thank you very much for sharing! I love Nnoitra so much... Always brings me joy when others love him as well! ]

[despairforme]

What's something that makes you happy about writing your muse? Is it their personality, their mentality, or something else entirely? Also, is there something you'd like to explore with your muse in general, but haven't had the opportunity for it?

[ Eyyy thank you so much for the ask anon! I can easily say that literally everything about writing Nnoitra makes me happy. He is my muse. My inspiration. I never ' need to have the muse for him ', because he IS the muse. I absolutely always ' feel like writing him '. It is the most natural thing. Writing him can always bring my mood up, no matter what's going on. The constant in my life is my love for him and how much joy he brings me. Having somewhere to go, something to do and something to enjoy that's unwavering is truly a blessing. Why exactly do I love writing Nnoitra? I love everything about him. Before I started writing him, I didn't have any confidence. I was timid and shy, and I was always questioning my writing. When I started writing him, there was a click, and I've never looked back.

I love his personality, his strength, his dark sides, his flaws (they make him interesting), his way of speaking, his body language. His looks, his expressions, his clothes. The way he walks and how he handles different situations. I love watching him move through life, and all the progress and the stories we've been through so far. It's been over 8 years, and every single month has been a blessing. I've got to spend so much time with a character who brings me only happiness and inspiration. For an artist there is no greater gift that can be given than the gift of inspiration, and that's what Nnoitra has done (and is always doing) for me.

As for something I'd like to explore... That I haven't gotten the opportunity to do yet... Well, I've written most "types" of plots at this point. I have my wishlist , with lots of plot ideas ( it hasn't been updated in a good while, mind you ). My most wanted thing right now is a ship for Nnoitra. I haven't written any ship-plots on here for a good while, after Lexie became inactive, and Nnoitra's ship with Grimmjow ended. I'm forever looking for Nnoitra to find someone in his main verse ( I'm mostly interested in writing for this verse, it's my main after all ) who he can have good chemistry with. I want him to fall in love again. Nnoitra is a very slow-burn character so I know I have to be patient. Other than that, I'm always wanting to write all my different AUs ( I just hit 30 AUs, gonna be 31 real soon ). I prefer AUs to canon, because my canon verse is very much spent at this point, and also there is very little chance of character development there. But yeah !! Anyways !! Thank you for sending anon! ]

[despairforme]

                      EIGHT YEARS WITH NNOITRA !!!!!!!!                                   🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

      [ Finally, this year I remembered our anniversary! This completes my 8th year of writing my beloved spoon. He just turned 30 in his main verse and I cannot believe?? I’ve been with him for so long! Writing him is forever a super important part of my life because it brings me SO MUCH HAPPINESS. The past few months have seen me return to a much more active and consistent writing of him, and I love it. I used to dedicate a lot more time to writing him, but as I’m getting older and my priorities are shifting, roleplaying in general gets less of my time. HOWEVER I forever love it and enjoy it, and I love that I’m getting more and more active as the months pass. I’m always going to love writing Nnoitra and I will continue to do it with just as much joy as always.

       I’m so thankful to everyone who interacts with me on here ( and my other blogs too of course! ). You guys are amazing. You make my writing experience into something I’m excited for every day. I’m always thinking about writing and spending time with Nnoitra ( and in turn with you guys because you’re the ones interacting with my Nnoitra ). I’ve made so many precious friends on here and I hope to be able to chat more with you and write lots!

      AS ALWAYS I’m hyped to continue Nnoitra’s story! Especially his main verse because I feel like the coming year will have a lot of development for him. Already so much as happened and I’m like: What’s next??? I love him so so much and I’m forever blessed by having him as my muse. 

      Thank you all for continuing to interact with my content! I appreciate you all so much!! Here is to another great year! ]

[despairforme]

{I WAS ABOUT TO LAUNCH MYSELF INTO A FULL BLOWN LOVE LETTER BECAUSE I DIDNT REALIZE THAT THE ‚DO YOU EVER FEEL UNLOVABLE‘ MUSING WAS FOR NNOITRA AND NOT FOR YOU AHSJFHSJDJD}

     [  How cute is this?? So goddamned adorable I can’t even— LISA PLEASE I’M SUDDENLY BURIED UNDER LOVE AND SUPPORT ??? Don’t worry! I definitely don’t feel unlovable bc people send me so much positivity I’m honesty spoiled?? Like this super sweet message right here!! The same to you!! Remember that I’m always so happy to see you on my dash and just having you back in the rp community brings me joy??? I missed you lotssss! — We gotta do a thread soon…. With Lamy and Caesar... Because reasons.... 8) ]

[despairforme]

any blogs you can recommend?

     Absolutely! Here are five of my favorites in no particular order!

@xominous​ / @xpuriity​  - Dee is an amazing, creative and adorable person. Her OCs are well developed and written with so much effort and love that they definitely feel alive. Her OC Rosa ( @xpuriity​ ) is one of my all-time favorite OCs. I have been following her and admiring her for so long, and I’m happy to get to interact with her. She posted that she’ll need a break from Rosa though, but no worries! You can find another one of her inspiring OCs over at @xominous​ . She also has a few canon blogs for One Piece characters: @xsear​ , @xflare​ and @xphotogeniic​ . While I have mostly paid attention to her OCs ( they are so good I can’t even?? ), her writing is a treat no matter who she chooses to portray. Therefore I can recommend ANY blog that Dee wrights. I also have to mention that she is an incredible artist, who I have commissioned a few times ( eyezooms for more ), and of course I follow her art blog too, so that I won’t miss out on anything she creates! So if you’d be interested in a blog that’s art-related instead of just for rping, you’ll totally love her art blog - @ddkinzart​ . Adorable drawings and shiny, exciting colours! Just looking at her art makes me happy tbh. I’m sure you have seen some of her themes around, because a lot of people in the rp fandom ( at least a lot of the blogs I follow ), are using some of her themes for their blogs. She’s SO talented! Follow her for an overflow of creativity and know that the mod behind the screen is an actual sweetheart who I adore.

@minugahanax - This is a multi-muse blog run by the incredible Tala. She is so exciting, because there is always something NEW going on. She has so many muses, and somehow, she manages to always come up with something new and original. Her blog is filled with muses to suit anybody’s taste. Whether you wanna write with aliens, gods, yakuza, shape-shifters, dragons, monsters, humans — you name it! She will show you an entire universe and astonish you with how deep and thought-out her creations are. I am very fortunate to have her writing Nnoitra’s Zanpakuto, Santa Teresa. She has written me so many drabbles and super long replies to asks I’ve sent. I’m spoiled. Tala is one of those people who I will follow from all my blogs because she has so many different muses, that no matter who I am writing myself, there is always a way for our muses to interact. My personal favorite muses of hers are: Santa Teresa ( obviously ), Hachirou, Sobek, Monster, Renji, Yomi, Icarus, Oluwayemisi and Sasaharu. Tala brings so much excitement to the dash, and I definitely wouldn’t have the same roleplaying experience without her. I think it’s both inspiring and impressive that she is able to create and write so many different characters. If you are skeptical about multi-muse blogs, let Tala show you how exciting they can be! Also I have to mention that being friends with Tala makes you feel really special, because she always sends me asks ( which I take way too long to reply to because I wanna give them justice because she always writes such long replies to mine ), and makes me feel appreciated. I’m very lucky to have her as my rp partner and I totally recommend following her and her inspiring muses!

@heartsflown - My fellow Norwegian Aven writes another one of my favorite multi-muse blogs. A delightful, clean and organized blog that makes it super easy to read about the different muses to try and choose who to interact with ( they are all so good, it’s hard to choose! ). Well-written bios give you an instant view of the characters, and a lot of the descriptions are much more detailed than what many single-muse blogs offer ( including my own ocs rip ), so Aven definitely shows that multi-muse blogs can be just as developed as single-muse blogs. They have so many different muses with distinct personalities, and you can tell that they always put lots of effort into each paragraph. Having Aven on my dash is great because they are always developing their characters, writing new, detailed trivia about them, which shows that the characters are loved. They are cared for, like they are real people. As someone who loves my own muse very much, it’s always inspiring to see others put effort into their creations. My favorite muses of theirs are probably Kimberly, David Allen, Frankie and Uruha ( though I have a really hard time choosing! ). I also have to mention that Aven has a single-muse OC blog, which can be found over at @stckhlmr . Here you’ll find a character so well-developed that you’ll wonder if it’s a real person. The OC who lives here is Andrew, a werewolf hockey player who you’ll never get tired of reading about! This blog is like an OC goal blog. It’s amazing that Aven is able to show off her creation with such a detailed, in depth-description and biography. In addition, Andrew also has multiple verses for you to enjoy him in! Aven’s writing is full of personality, and so are their ooc posts, which makes you really fond of not just the muses, but also the person behind the screen. I will always follow all of Aven’s blogs, and I recommend for you to do the same!

@grimmjxw - Who is surprised that I would include Lexie on my list? Needless to say, Lexie is the person I write with the most. They are the writer who is able to inspire me the most. We have been writing together for two years now ( and we’ve been writing a lot, like… We’ve written books ), and none of the spark has disappeared. I’m more excited than ever to write with them, and the list of plots I have in mind just keeps getting longer and longer. There is something really special about Lexie’s writing, and that is ( in my opinion anyway ), the amount of emotions that they are able to portray. Their Grimmjow has so many more sides to him than what canon shows. Lexie is able to show off the amazing potential that Grimmjow has in his character. Every headcanon and every little special thing about him that they have added, makes sense. The fact that they have written Grimmjow for such a long time really shows, both in how much effort they put into him, and how real everything seems. It’s like they have taken Grimmjow to the ‘ next level ‘, and just made him into a real person, and not just the popular anime Grimmjow who has so many fangirls. I couldn’t ask for a better ship partner. Lexie puts so much effort into everything, and the threads with them are always the ones where I write the most ( and the fastest! ). Even non-bleach blogs will have a good time interacting with them, because Grimmjow has a modern!au which makes it easy for humans to interact with him without… Getting killed lol. If you want to read deep, emotional threads or asks filled with an extra punch, then this is the blog for you. Writing with Lexie has definitely developed my own writing, and I don’t think I would’ve had the writing style that I have today without them. In addition to writing my ( by far ) favorite Grimmjow ( and favorite bleach muse ) in the Bleach fandom, Lexie is also very nice to talk to. Plotting with them is always so exciting, and they have so many creative ideas! Getting to write with Lexie is my greatest privilege, and I feel so blessed for having them as my shipping partner. I am also really eager to see Grimmjow interact with other muses ( not just Nnoitra ) in his modern!au, so I’m hoping to get to see some of that!

@pilawforhire - Lena is one of my absolute favorite writers. Everytime I read something she has written, or get to write with her myself, it’s exciting. Her style of writing is unique. More than the feeling that you’re writing a roleplay with her, you feel like you’re writing a book. There is just something about the way she describes things that makes the paragraphs come alive, and you realize that roleplaying can be actual good literature. She brings that touch of good writing that just takes everything to the next level. Her writing in itself is a joy to read - like a piece of art. It’s all complimented by her portrayal of Law. Even if you’re not familiar with the One Piece fandom, Lena has created several AUs for Law, so you can enjoy him in many different settings! With that dark, mysterious vibe that Law gives off ( thanks to Lena’s writing! ), interacting with him always brings something new. You always wonder what’s gonna happen next, and that’s so exciting! Lena also shows off so much creativity with how she is able to come up with ways for muses to meet. The amount of effort she puts into each reply makes everybody feel like she appreciates every interaction, and that every roleplay is special. Writing with her has been some of the best experiences I’ve had on here, and I hope to be able to write more with her in the future ( especially from over at my Doflamingo blog ). Lena is also a very nice person to talk to, who takes time to send you long messages so that it feels more like a conversation than a chat ( I feel bad because I’m not good at writing long messages myself and take ages to reply?? ). As a writer and as an online person to interact with, Lena is so inspiring. Like, I wanna be like that too. Please follow and enjoy someone who is very talented in the writing department, and has enough love for her muse to put lots of effort into her work!