#[ EVEN IF THE REBLOG WAS DEFINITELY FOR NNOITRA ]

[deadvalentine]

IT'S NNOITRA'S BIRTHDAAAAAAYYY

[despairforme]

{I WAS ABOUT TO LAUNCH MYSELF INTO A FULL BLOWN LOVE LETTER BECAUSE I DIDNT REALIZE THAT THE ‚DO YOU EVER FEEL UNLOVABLE‘ MUSING WAS FOR NNOITRA AND NOT FOR YOU AHSJFHSJDJD}

     [  How cute is this?? So goddamned adorable I can’t even— LISA PLEASE I’M SUDDENLY BURIED UNDER LOVE AND SUPPORT ??? Don’t worry! I definitely don’t feel unlovable bc people send me so much positivity I’m honesty spoiled?? Like this super sweet message right here!! The same to you!! Remember that I’m always so happy to see you on my dash and just having you back in the rp community brings me joy??? I missed you lotssss! — We gotta do a thread soon…. With Lamy and Caesar... Because reasons.... 8) ]

[nnoitra-jiruga]

I love when you reblog this kind of stuff!!! I feel like I can interact with Nnoitra without having to do roleplay! I really like your blog * sends you hugs and good vibes * Now for the meme: (in genreal!!) 🤗Are they physically affectionate? and 📖What is their favorite outside of the bedroom activity to do with their partner? <3

MY MUSE IN A RELATIONSHIP ?

☽ Accepting ☾ Anon ☽ [Thank you you adorable anon ! ^_^ I will try to reblog some more, but I can be slow as I am active on other blogs XS]

🤗Are they physically affectionate ?

☾ Out of a relationship, of course absolutely not, even though Jiruga happens to be touch-starved and needs constant reassurance (something he’d tolerate though only from someone extremely close to him, in a romantic way). Nnoitra is all about going to extremes, whether it can be good or bad. Coping with strong emotions, because of his paranoia and misanthropy, isn’t natural for him. It is not a process he’s familiar with. 

Therefore, if in love, granting physical affection, physical proofs of his love, might be easier for him. Touching his partner also brings him comfort ; it is reassuring to feel them, to feel how real - especially since Nnoitra suffers from schizophrenia - they are and not just a mere another hallucination. ☽

📖What is their favorite outside of the bedroom activity to do with their partner ?

☾ Anything. Extremes still. Nnoitra, at first, appears as a perverted sex-obsessed man, who would only be thinking about having sex with his partner, even outside, but it’s completely wrong in reality ; his odious obscene attitude being nothing more than a play conveying his chauvinistic and distorted views of masculinity ; it’s all about appearances and looking like a “tough big macho”. 

I’ll have to moderate the “anything” first answer though, as Nnoitra doesn’t enjoy being among a crowd. His definition of a crowd being quite personal and including any third person actually who would join him and his partner. As a consequence, he’d rather spend time only with his lover, doing activities that don’t include other people. Going to clubs or any other crowded area, even though he’d be extremely proud of being the one his partner chose and bragging about it, would assuredly not be his first choice. ☽

[wing-ed-thing]

Let me tell you, I live for your reblogs. They’re so kind and definitely made an overwhelming way just that much better!

Homeboy is TOLL. I feel like I see so much fan art depicting him shorter, but he’s Grimmjow’s height. That’s a perspective I didn’t really have before writing this.

The only reason Science Daddy isn’t having you take notes is because you’re the experiment, otherwise, he’d be above imputing tables at least until he writes his final report. So, uh, those notes better be impeccable. 

Szayel doesn’t care about your safety right now and more cares that he motioned for you to come back to his side in Chapter 1 and Nnoitra held you back. It’s less about self defense and more obedience and being territorial.

I didn’t even mean to draw the implication that Szayel is beautiful, but yeah, checks out. I kinda got a kick out of writing Tesla chasing after you and you’re like throwing stuff at him. It’s hard to run in sand.

There’s a lot, a lot, a lot of foreshadowing in this chapter. I wasn’t expecting to make this a series so I tried to cram in as much exposition as I could. It was going to be even longer but I held myself back. 

Yeah, I totally think that Arrancar would be able to smell each other if not each other’s reiatsu. Kinda goes along with Nel’s whole “beasts” to “logical” speech. 

I think above all he’s looking for a good time but is prone to overlooking certain things. He wants an advantage because he wants to win, but not too much of one because then it’s not fun anymore. I feel like communication is very hard for him. He’d rather set his own plan in motion and leave others to catch up.

Updates are coming soon when I’m finished with my requests! I also have another Szayel series in the work with a Collage AU so keep a look out for that if you’re interested. I like these commentary reblogs! They’re very fun and it helps to improve my writing! I’ll be sure to tag you for sure. Lot’s of love my friend!

Lab Assistant (Szayelaporro x Reader, Part II)

Synopsis: Szayelaporro takes on a complete Arrancar.

Word Count: 2,180

Tags/Warnings: Fem!Reader, Fake Science, Science Project to Lovers, Slow Burn (Arrancar are solitary and this one’s death aspect is Madness, let’s be real here), Slow Build @blankensee​

Notes: Okay but homeboi is TӦLL. Szayelaporro is 6′1, 6′1 y’all see this? Ooh boy is it getting hot in here? The Thing-Winged series bug has officially kicked in. 

Keep reading

[despairforme]

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad. 35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

“TALK ABOUT” MEME | ACCEPTING .

33 - Talk about what you do when you are sad.

     ❝ Sad? Who ‘da fuck ‘s SAD? I ain’t no fuckin’ bitch who gets all upset. ❞ — What a fucking bad lie. If there was ONE person in the fucking world who had an act for getting upset, it was him. He HATED that his mental state was so unstable, and that it took very little to knock him down. These days, he wasn’t even physically strong, so needless to say - he felt like shit. The thing was, he didn’t act much differently when he was sad. Hell, he had been sad for the majority of his life. Depression had always followed close in his footsteps. Sure, he never referred to it as ‘ depression ‘, because that made him sound like some emo bitch, but he KNEW that in reality - it was depression. It had been a while since he had tasted it, since he had been so HAPPY with Grimmjow. But - after all the shit that had gone down, Nnoitra had slipped back into his dark moods, even going as far as to get a touch of that old deathwish. But, THANKFULLY, things were looking up. Now that he had gotten to TALK with Grimmjow ( and let out his anger on him, maybe he should apologize for that? ), he did feel better. At least he didn’t have so many questions in his head anymore. He didn’t need to make up his own depressive answers either. So, what HAD he done during these days? Mostly, he had just laid in bed or on the couch, but that had been more because of his headache than anything. Or at least he liked to think so. He HAD gotten shot in the fucking head after all, so he needed rest. Hell, he should actually be in a rehabilitation program at the hospital, but they couldn’t afford that shit. In addition to the headache, Nnoitra’s right hand still had a weakness to it. This really worried him. The worry combined with that throbbing headache left him feeling sort of nauseous, which kept him from eating as much as he should. So - he had lost weight. Nnoitra knew from experience that he COULDN’T lose weight without it being a serious risk to his health. He was already underweight, so he had no kilos to spare. He knew that if he had been physically fine, but still feeling… Well - sad - he would’ve done what he always did. He would’ve gone to work every night, kicked ass and gone home again. It was hard though, to imagine being sad while he was dating Grimmjow. Fair enough, these past few weeks had been depressive as hell, and that was mostly Grimmjow’s fault, but ey - it was okay now. Nnoitra had no problem forgiving him. How could he not? He had been so fucking precious with that confession. A confession Nnoitra simply HAD to believe.

35 - Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

     The second question proved easier to answer honestly to. As much as Nnoitra didn’t like to admit his flaws, he KNEW there was a lot of shit he wished he could stop doing. BAD habits, so to say.  ❝ Jeez, where do I start? I wish I could stop leavin’ empty bottles ‘n shit in ‘da fridge. I know that really annoys Grimmjow. ❞ It was the first thing that came to mind. The NUMBER ONE thing he wanted to stop doing was always assuming the worst. It caused him an endless amount of unnecessary worry and suffering. After all, it was his own dumb self who had started to assume that Grimmjow didn’t care about him or their relationship. He had honestly thought that Grimmjow wasn’t happy with him, and that he didn’t even WANT to be with him. All because he had overreacted to Grimmjow’s actions. Yeah, overreacting was another thing he wished he’d stop doing. He also wished he’d stop being bothered about his skinny build. He wished he’d stop finding it so hard to say ‘ I love ya ‘ to his boyfriend.  ❝ I wish I’d stop bein’ so fuckin’ paranoid. ❞ He admitted, scratching the knuckles on his right hand. Yeah, this was actually a BIG problem for him, especially after getting shot. He KNEW it was because of actual brain damage that he was feeling this way. He hadn’t really understood what the doctor was talking about, but apparently the bullet had passed close to the ‘ fear center ‘ in his brain, so… Yeah. But, at the same time, the doctors had agreed that he would most likely make a FULL recovery. Nnoitra fucking hoped that included this feeling of anxiety he got if he went outside. Then again… He had only felt that way on his way home to the apartment. After that, he hadn’t even GONE outside, so maybe it wasn’t so bad anymore? He should at least try. Especially since he needed to get a birthday gift for his boyfriend.  ❝ I wish I could stop bein’ such a fuckin’ pussy when it comes ‘ta water. ❞ This statement left him with a snort. Being able to enjoy himself in the water would be cool, especially since Grimmjow was a big fan of the ocean. Nnoitra didn’t like it. He didn’t like being wet or cold - and he couldn’t swim. There were probably a MILLION more things he could’ve added to the list of things he wished he’d stop doing, but thinking about all this negative stuff was… shitty. He had FINALLY gotten through this bad period, so he would rather just focus on that. 

[despairforme]

                                            HAPPY NEW YEAR!

     Time for a New Year’s post! This year was wild! A lot of stuff happened in my personal life, such as moving and entering into a relationship. Writing-wise, it was not too bad, even though I had some rough months. I wrote around 170 000 words this year ( on Nnoitra ), and I’m not dissatisfied with that. I know that I truly did do my best, and I tried to fight through my health issues, to keep doing what I love doing - which is writing Nnoitra. My love for him has grown this year as well. I’m so comfortable with him, and no matter what, writing him never fails to cheer me up. As I enter into 2020, I’m not sure what’s going to happen this year. I think this year will be a year where a lot of real life stuff will happen ( good things! ), and that will probably have an impact on how much time I’ll have to write. My health challenges are only getting worse as well, so that’s another thing getting in the way of my writing. However - I want to try to get better at managing my time. I want to get better at pushing myself to write. Not because I feel bad when I’m not able to write ( this is a hobby and not a job ), but because I know that if I DO manage to push myself more, my mental state will be much better. Instead of having the mindset: ‘ I’m in pain today so I won’t be able to write ‘, I want to try this instead: ‘ Yeah, I’m in pain, but I can write a little bit ‘. I think this is going to make a huge difference to how much I’ll write, and getting to do the thing I love is definitely going to make me feel better!

     Speaking of feeling better - I want to thank everyone who has supported me this year! Everyone who has interacted with me, sent me asks or messages. Everyone who has liked my posts or reblogged my art or edits. Everyone who has read my threads. I want to thank my mutuals for posting such good content on my dash to brighten my day. I’m really lucky to have so many talented people around me! I wish only the best for you guys. Hopefully 2020 will be kind to you!

      PLANS FOR 2020! --- Now, for my plans this year. As mentioned, I want to try to get better at dealing with my illness. I think that this is vital if I’m going to be happy. If I just let myself get pulled down dealing with all the pain is just going to get harder. So, that is the number one thing I want to try this year! At the same time - I’m ( hopefully ) going to have some real life things happening ( in the past I have basically not had a life, but now I do? ), and I’m going to prioritize that. But! That doesn’t mean I won’t be writing! So, here are my blog plans for this year!

WRITE NNOITRA’S PRE-HOLLOW STORY! This is actually a goal from last year. It’s been a while since I got this idea and I’ve already got the whole story planned out. Nnoitra’s life before coming a Hollow is something I haven’t written about yet, and of course I’m excited about doing this! I will post this story in ‘ chapters ‘ as drabbles.

DEVELOP MY CURRENT AUS! I do want to add more AUs, and I probably will - but one of the things I really want to focus on this year is developing the AUs I already have. I have so many plots for them I want to write with people. There are drabbles to be written. Another thing I want do for my AUs is make a separate blog page for each AU, where I will write additional information to each AU, to widen the world-building and to make plotting easier.

SHIP STUFF! I want to write more ship stuff! I want to write drabbles and slice-of-life scenes. I want to send more asks to Lexie ( even though I know they are busy ). I want to make more edits of them. I want to draw them more. I want to develop their AUs and most importantly - I want to continue building on their main verse! So much has happened and I can’t wait to see what will happen next!

MORE INTERACTIONS / MORE PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS & MORE PLOTS! This is something I will try to get better at this year for sure! I want to engage in plotting with people, and try to build relationships for Nnoitra. I want to write with new people, as well as my regulars. I want to get better at sending IC asks.

DEVELOP NNOITRA’S IC INSTAGRAM. Finally I’m running an IC Instagram for him, and I’m going to be keeping this up this year. I’m already having a lot of fun with it, and I hope to continue that!

REBLOG MY MUTUALS’ ART. I have so many talented artist friends on my dash! I want to share their art on my blog, and so I will be adding an ‘ ooc art ‘ tag, and reblog people’s art. I hope this will help spread some love for the amazing artists in our community!

REGULAR ACTIVITY / QUEUE. I want my activity on here to be more regular. I also want to post more, and a queue will definitely help me do this. I want to reblog more musings, aesthetics and other things that fit Nnoitra. I also want to reblog people’s promos. I also want to be more engaged in what happens on the dash. I want to send people memes and asks, and comment on the dash and join in on the shenanigans that happens on there.

CONTINUE WRITING AND SHARING MY LOVE FOR NNOITRA BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT I LOVE DOING!!!!!

[despairforme]

i would try giving ulquiorra a shot, but then lose interest. recently i was thinking of opening up a blog for him again, and i see that you're still as active as ever. how do you maintain motivation for one muse? do you usually hang onto muses for a long time?

     [ YO ANON! I think it’s a pretty common thing for people to lose interest in their muse. I’ve had a LOT of muses who I’ve deleted. Not really because I didn’t have the muse for them, but because Nnoitra takes up ALL my time. 

     Speaking of! 

     How do I maintain my motivation for him? ( thank you for noticing btw! ). With Nnoitra, I don’t NEED motivation / inspiration to write. He gives me both those things. He is my muse ( muse, definition: a person or personified force who is the source of inspiration for a creative artist. ). I am always, always excited to write him. I have a million ideas for things that can happen to him. If my health was better, I would be writing a lot more. Nnoitra is so important to me, and I love him so much I can’t even— So, yeah, it’s not really about ‘ maintaining ‘ motivation, since it’s something that is constantly being generated. Nnoitra doesn’t take energy from me. I GET energy from writing him. It makes everything about my day better, and I have no idea what I would do with my life if I didn’t feel this way about him.

     I do think there are a few things that would help anyone feel motivated about their muse though ( stuff that come ‘ natural ‘ to me, because I have so much inspiration for Nnoitra ).

Don’t do the same threads over and over again. Those ‘ first-time-meeting ‘ threads can get very repetitive ( especially for us who roleplay Espada ). Like, if Nnoitra meets a Shinigami, he’s going to want to try to kill said Shinigami. Actually - he pretty much wants to kill anyone he meets in his canon verse. This doesn’t open up for much progress. That being said, I love a good fight thread. If a thread is boring, drop it! Or pull it into a direction that you find interesting. Your partner will think that’s hella fun too!

Do pre-established relationships. This can be anything. It doesn’t mean that it has to be a big thing. It can be something as simple as Nnoitra having met Shinigami x when Nnoitra was just an Adjuchas. This skips the repetitive ‘ first meeting ‘ part, and opens up for new things to happen.

MAKE AUS !!!!! Not everyone likes AUs, but for me, they are essential. I have 3 verses and 21 AUs for Nnoitra ( will be 50 once I have made the rest on my wishlist ). This allows me to try out literally anything I want. I feel like a lot of the times when people lose interest for their muse, it’s because they want to try something new. Want to try your hands at writing a vampire? Make a vampire!au! As for me, my main verse it set in a modern!AU. This makes it a lot easier to interact with human muses ( and Ocs! So much fun! ). I also had a great time coming up with Nnoitra’s backstory.

Approach people for interaction! This is SO important. I used to be super shy, but after I started writing Nnoitra, I didn’t have that problem anymore. He gave me so much confidence ( another thing he’s done for me, bless ). Because I’ve reached out to people, sent them asks ( even if they were just silly, crack ones ), popped into their IMs, tagged them in stuff, liked their starter-calls, I’ve been able to write a lot of different things! And I’ve made so many cool friends. I can’t imagine it being fun to write a muse if nothing happens on the blog. And it’s your responsibility to make sure that you get interactions. I know it can be difficult, but just try to send asks to your mutuals, and I guarantee they will be excited to see something in their inbox!

ESTABLISH A SHIP!!! Now this is something I would recommend, like - for everyone. My ship with Lexie is my favorite thing to write on here. I highly recommend considering being a single-ship blog ( though mine is dual-ship, it hardly shows since my other ship partner is inactive ). It gives you the opportunity to develop a relationship to be deep and meaningful. You can make AUs and have them meet in 100 different scenarios. I could not wish for a better ship or better ship partner. I am truly blessed with Lexie and Lexie’s Grimmjow.

The little things - Care about your muse. Do you love him? Make a post saying that! Did something you saw outside today make you think of him? Post that shit!! Do you have a headcanon, even a small one? WRITE IT OUT! Do you have a super cool thread idea that you just need to try out? Ask someone if they’re game! Reblog aesthetic posts and add in the tags why it made you think of your muse! How does your muse feel today? Bored? Angry? Happy? Nothing at all? Make a M O O D post and challenge someone to change said mood. Put effort into your replies: add details about what your muse is thinking, seeing, hearing. Maybe he’s having some flashbacks? All these small things ( at least to me ) makes the muse seem more alive, and that makes him or her more fun to work with.

     For me, doing all of this with Nnoitra goes without saying, because I love him and we have SO MUCH FUN together. I am truly blessed with this muse and I would never wish for another one, and I am never going to stop writing him. ]