#[ I’m eating this shit up !!!!!!!! so much!! so much heartbreak and angst ]

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-Thirty One[FINALE]

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut(18+), star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse, talks of death, depressive thoughts, talks about not being able to conceive, and endometriosis.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: After over a year of writing this story, we finally are at the end. I have so many things to say yet I think I will bask in the moment for a little bit before I bore you with my emotions. So please take this for now: Thank you all so fucking much for your endless love and support for this silly little fic. It started off as a simple request(i hope you're still around 🎧 ). But it brought me so many friendships. I owe you all so much. Forever grateful for every single one of you.

My inbox will forever be open if you want to talk about the finale. 🖤

Huge thank you to my loves @blueskylinesx and @artificialbreezy for your endless support and helping me with the vows. I love you both immensely.

Angel and Mochi forever. 🪽🍡

Tags[CLOSED]: @blueskylinesx @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @shayzillaaaa @badomensls @shadowseve @collective-heartbreak @klutzy-kay24 @sorrowsofsilence @sweetlittlekitsune @shilohrosechicken @itsafullmoon @toospooktocute @niicoleleigh @thatchickwiththecamera @hoe-for-daddywise @whenthesummerdies @thisbicc @sammyjoeee @joe9cool @ozwriterchick @happi-goth @dsireland86 @cncohshit @heyyoplayer @rain-down-on-mee @respectfulrebel @malerieee @myownthoughts12 @noahsbong @laurpartyprogram @cloudykoookie @sideeyenoah @bellaboo967 @rxdlstgn @anthemheatwave @lobolocaamo @amelia-acero @karenfrancoespinosa-blog @collidewiththesavannah @xserenax-13 @supersquirrel1996 @themodern-daywednesday @oxythoughtin7715

THIS IS FICTION. NONE OF THIS IS REAL.

READER

ONE MONTH LATER.

“Noah,” I choked out while gazing up at the familiar home with tears filling my eyes. 

He stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist and his chin resting on top of my head. We both swayed with the sudden rush of wind which caused Noah to hold me tighter, bringing the warmth from his body to my own. 

“Are you mad?” He asked. 

I couldn’t remove my eyes from the SOLD sign on the front yard of the familiar house and the key Chase was dangling in front of my face with a shit eating grin. A month ago on that night underneath the fairy lights, Noah proposed with the ring hanging on Kuma’s new collar. When I found the ring and looked over at Noah that night, he said two simple words. 

“Marry me.” 

I accepted before he finished the words, nearly tackling him to the ground. We connected that night underneath the fairy lights, his cock slowly dragging in and out of me while I rocked my hips up into him. Afterwards, we lay together tangled underneath the stars with the blanket barely covering us as we talked about our wedding plans. Our conversation during our many 2pm Facetime calls was something we both remembered fondly. 

With a hesitant sigh, I nodded. "Japan is just such an important place to me, for several reasons. I have this little fantasy that I’d run off and get married there. It's so peaceful and quiet with my closest friends and family. One and done romance type shit."

Noah stiffened while scratching his chin.

"What? I freak you out, girlfriend?" | joked with a teasing smirk.

He chuckled nervously. "No. I- uh, who's the groom?"

"I don't know, never got that far. It's always been the small child in me's dream."

It took some time with many nights of wondering if I was worthy enough but I found my groom. 

So when we broke the news to everyone two days later, wanting to bask in it privately beforehand, we told everyone that we’d be getting married in Japan. But with the future shows both Bad Omens and Hollow Souls had planned, we knew we would either have to push off the wedding for a couple years or get married before the shows. 

Now, a month later, all of us were in Japan for our wedding that was happening in a few days. It wasn’t anything big and lavish, something small with our family; some old and some new. 

“You bought my dad’s house?” I asked while peering over my shoulder at him. 

Noah turned me around so I could face him head on and pressed my hands against his chest, the diamond on my left ring finger catching the light of the setting sun.

“I contacted a realtor shortly after we left about buying your dads house. It didn’t feel right letting it go to someone else. Your dad lived here for half of his life, Y/N. It deserves to stay in the family,” he explained. 

I blew out a shaky breath while resting my head against his shoulder, those strong arms wrapping around me yet again. 

“Thank you.” 

Noah brushed his lips over my forehead. “You’re not mad I bought a house without asking you? Especially your dad’s house?” 

“Not at all. I was at a dark point in my life the last time we were here that all I wanted was to forget about this place. But I’m so thankful you bought it,” I slipped my hands up his sweater over his stomach, grazing my nails over the warm skin. 

Chase stepped into my view as my face was buried into Noah’s chest and he was twirling the key around his finger. “We replaced most of the furniture you had sold before you put it up on the market. Noah hired a paint crew to come through and put a fresh coat everywhere. It’s like a new house but still has the old bones of when your dad lived here, if that makes sense.” 

Stepping out of Noah’s embrace, I pulled Chase in for a hug while smushing his face into my chest and kissed the top of his head which due to how tall he was made it difficult. 

“I love you, bud.” 

He grumbled under his breath while pushing me back into Noah’s embrace and adjusting his messed up shirt. Even with his teasing, I could see the love in his bright blue eyes. 

“Keep it up and you’re walking yourself down the aisle,” Chase taunted and then turned on his heels to walk over to Malcolm, who had been unloading the rental car. 

As the two of them shared a kiss, I called out to them while Noah and I continued to stand on the front step of our new home. 

“I’m going to drag you guys down the aisle with me if I have too!” 

Noah chuckled, brushing a kiss across my lips. “I can’t believe we’re getting married.” 

“I know!” I giggled while wrapping my hands behind his neck. “Do you think we kind of jump the gun, though? We don’t have a venue. The only thing we have planned is my dress, your outfit, and the bridal party.” 

“About that,” he sprawled his hands over my lower back as everyone else moved around us, bringing in their suitcases into the house. 

It was decided that we all would stay here because we had plenty of space. 

“How would you feel about getting married in the backyard? I know it might not be your dream wedding but I just thought it would be perfect. Lots of space for all of us, privacy fence so no one can spy on us, and the girls already have an idea on how to decorate it. If you’re alright with that. We don’t want you to feel pressured-.” 

I placed a hand over Noah’s mouth to stop his rambling. “Mochi, you know you ramble when you’re nervous?” 

He nodded as I continued. “We could literally get married in the bedroom with just us two and it would be my dream wedding.” 

Matt suddenly appeared over Noah’s shoulder. “Technically it wouldn’t be legal unless you had someone who was ordained.” 

Rolling my eyes, I let my hand drop from Noah’s mouth only to link my fingers with his as we began slowly walking up the rest of the way towards the front door with Matt. 

“Speaking of being ordained, did you do what you needed to?” Noah asked. 

“Yes. I am officially ordained in Japan,” Matt wore a big smile. “So I get to marry my best friends.” 

“How’s Dove feeling?” I asked while motioning towards Matt’s cousin, who was off to the far side of the yard with Faye, having their own conversation. 

“She’s okay, might take some time but she’ll get there,” Matt nodded while stuffing his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. “I appreciate you guys letting her come, given you don’t really know her.” 

Noah waved him off. “Dove is your cousin, Matt. Which means she’s family, just like you.” 

“I’ve always watched out for her when we were growing up so whatever I can do to protect her, I’ll do it.” 

Once Matt left us to run towards Faye and Dove, I felt Noah squeeze my hand which caused me to gaze over at him with furrowed brows. 

“Did your mom ever call you back?” He wondered. 

I scoffed, doing my best not to let the anger I felt festering inside of me not ruin the whirlwind high we’d been feeling since our proposal last month. 

“Nope. I left her a voicemail all three times that I called her to tell her what’s going on,” I answered. 

Noah’s shoulders fell. “Does that make you upset?” 

“Honestly?” I shrugged. “Not really. She’d never been around for any other big moments of my life. I have everyone here that’s important to me. That’s all that matters.” 

With a smile, he motioned towards the house behind me. “Are you ready to go inside?” 

“Oh,” I muttered as my shoulders fell because I realized that this would be the first time I stepped inside my dad’s place since his funeral. 

Well, now I guess it would be our house.

Glancing over my shoulder to the front door less than a few feet in front of us, I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. Chase and Noah mentioned that it was basically a new house inside with a fresh coat of paint and new furniture. Deep down I knew that even though everything was new inside, my dad’s spirit would be lingering there. 

“Yeah,” I finally nodded while looking back at him. “I’ve been telling myself it’s a fresh start, ya know?” 

With a tender kiss to my hand, Noah led me through the front door as we took the first step together towards our future. 

READER

“What the fuck!? JOE!” I yelled while pushing away from the table and running towards the familiar face that had just walked into the ramen restaurant. 

Joe broke out in laughter as I nearly tackled him to the ground. “Hey kid.” 

All of us were having a little makeshift rehearsal dinner at a ramen place that my dad loved the night before the wedding. We all made plans for when Bad Omens, ERRA, and Hollow Souls played Inkarceration. Then spent most of the night reminiscing on past memories. Every so often, I’d catch Noah looking at his phone before letting his gaze linger on the door of the restaurant but never thought much of it. I’d been in a deep conversation with Dove as she talked about what happened when she was on the road a month ago. 

“What the hell are you doing in Japan?” I asked Joe after pulling away from our hug. 

“Oh you know, I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d come by to say hello,” he playfully smirked. 

I rolled my eyes as I felt Noah walk up beside me, giving Joe a handshake. “Thanks for coming. I know it was kind of last minute.” 

Joe waved Noah off. “All good. Thank you guys for the invite.” 

My stomach dropped when I realized from the craziness of the last month, I’d forgotten to invite one of my good friends. Forever thankful that Noah thought of it, I rose on my toes to place a kiss on his cheek. 

“You thought of everything, huh?” I breathed in his ear. 

Noah looked at me, something mischievous in his ember eyes. “You have no idea, angel.” 

Dragging both Joe and Noah back to the table, we all eased back into the dinner and every so often I’d feel Noah squeeze my thigh before inching his fingers up closer to my core. With the amount of people in the house, we decided that we would hold off on sex until our wedding night. 

Needless to say, both of us were extremely wound up but I kept telling myself that it would all be worth it in two nights' time when we finally had the house to ourselves.  

Once we all finished dinner, we all piled out of the restaurant with a suggestion from Nicholas to check out the local market in town. While most of the group dispersed in their own directions, Noah and I found ourselves alone for the first time in hours. 

“I’m so stuffed,” Noah groaned while rubbing a hand over his stomach. 

I wrapped my arms tighter around him while burying my face into his chest as we walked down the market block in Japan. 

“Are you happy you finally got your real ramen?” I teased while poking his chest. 

With a playful roll of his eyes, Noah brushed a kiss along my forehead as we walked through the crowds of people that gathered at the market. Earlier before dinner, I’d bought about four different mangas that had characters on the cover that looked like Noah, something he made sure to grumble about. 

“How the hell does this Yamada guy look like me?” He asked, utterly confused while holding up one of the mangas. 

I snatched it from him, holding it close to my chest. “I bet if I found a picture of you with this exact hair cut and did a side by side comparison, you’d see I’m right. Too bad you cut your hair yesterday.” 

Noah’s hair had been unruly lately so with the wedding coming up, he’d shaved the ends while still keeping the levi cut up top. Even though I'd always love his longer hair, I had to admit he looked absolutely gorgeous this way as well. 

“Y/N, look,” Noah pulled us to a stop, his arms around my shoulder, and pointed in front of us. 

Following his long finger, my eyes landed on a familiar older figure standing at one of the book tents in the market. 

“It’s older you!” I squealed, a little too loudly. 

The older gentleman looked over towards us at my outburst and when the look of remembrance crossed his face, he gave us a small wave. 

“Well, look who it is!” Older Noah smiled while walking over to us. “What are the odds I’d run into you guys in Japan?” 

Throughout the years, this was the third time we’d run into the older gentleman and his wife. The first time at the coffee shop back when Bad Omens and Hollow Souls toured together, the second time when Noah and I spent the afternoon at the pier where he bought me ice cream, and now here in Japan. Yet it was then that I noticed he was alone. 

“Ah, yes,” Older Noah tapped the book against his chest when he noticed me looking around. “My Allie passed away a month ago.”

Both Noah and I sucked in a breath, something the older one waved off. “Please, no pity. She lived a good and long life before the Alzhiemers took her.”

“Are you in Japan alone?” Noah wondered. 

“No,” the older one shook his head before adjusting his glasses. “My granddaughter, Lori is around here somewhere. What brings you two to Japan?” 

Noah linked my hand in his and brough the ring up to his lips, peppering it in kisses. “We’re getting married.” 

Older Noah’s eyes lit up at the news. “Well, good for you two! I still remember seeing you two in that coffee shop so long ago. The love in your eyes when you looked at her.” 

A crimson hue covered Noah’s face and I giggled while swinging our hands together. 

“I can’t explain it,” Old Noah began while flipping through the book he always seemed to have with him. “Something told me that I’d be running into you two again and soon which is why I made sure to bring this book with me. I read it to my Allie almost every night since it was her favorite.” 

Through the hustle and bustle of the market crowd, we barely could hear the soft sob that fell from Older Noah’s lips before he continued. “Since there’s no use for it anymore, I think I’ll give it to you two as a wedding gift.” 

Noah shook his head. “We can’t. That book means a lot to you-.” 

“Nonsense,” Older Noah smiled. “Please take it. My Allie would want you to have it.”

Gently I took the old book from his shaking hands and immediately brought it to my chest. “Thank you, Noah. You barely know us but for you to trust us with something so special to you, means a lot.” 

He stuffed his hands in the pocket of his tan coat. “You two remind me of me and Allie when we were young.” 

My Noah pressed a kiss to the side of my head and pulled me into his chest. “Do you have any advice for us to make our marriage last as long as yours did?” 

Older Noah gave us a faint smile while someone from behind him waved after him, calling his name. 

“The second you stop loving each other and pretending that your love story isn't real is when one of you starts to think you’re not worthy of the other.”

Just as a young woman tapped her hand on Older Noah’s shoulder, Michael appeared next to me, almost out of breath. 

“Whatever you do, don’t ask Dove for a race. She’s way to fucking fast,” he took a large gulp of air. 

“Grandpa! You can’t just wander off like that,” the woman next to Older Noah chastised him while adjusting her red cat eye framed glasses. 

Something in the air shifted around us when Michael and the woman, who I assumed was Lori the granddaughter, caught sight of each other. I could see something change inside of Michael as his eyes lit up with something I recognized so often in Noah’s eyes. 

Tapping my Noah’s chest, I glanced over at him while Michael introduced himself to Older Noah and Lori. 

“Think we can add two more to our guest list?” I asked. 

Noah smirked. “Already two steps ahead of you, angel.”

NOAH

Hiding a yawn behind my hand, I eased back into the couch a bit more while stretching my long legs out farther. The house finally settled down, all of the girls retreating to the larger bedroom to do whatever girls did the night before a wedding while us guys were scattered throughout the living room. Joe was staying at a hotel down the road and he left a bit ago. 

Both Nick’s and Jolly were on one of the couches trying to decide on what to watch. Matt was pacing the length of the kitchen practicing his speech for tomorrow. Chase and Malcolm were in the office working on a special project for Y/N for tomorrow. Davis and Bryan were playing a card game at the kitchen table. 

Michael, however, was still out on his walk with Lori. After our encounter yesterday, they exchanged numbers and Michael asked her if she wanted to go out on a walk with him.

I was sitting on the couch with Jesse next to me as I scrolled through listings on my phone. Earlier today when Y/N and I were talking about our future after the wedding, the topic of where we would live came up. Even though we both knew Michael and Jesse would never kick us out now that we were married, Y/N felt it would be better for us as a couple if we finally had our own place together. 

So after discussing it with her and promising I wouldn’t buy another house without her permission, I had been texting her every possible listing I found. Y/N’s main concern with every single one: Is it too far from everyone? 

She knew my end goal in life, after everything settled down in Bad Omens so she understood why I kept sending her listings from far. 

"Way down the road maybe one day in the future- to live in the middle of nowhere with a dog, cats, and a family of my own. In my wooden home that I built."

Jesse shifted on the couch next to me causing me to glance over at him. “How’s Salem and Kuma?” 

“JT said they’re good. He took Kuma on a three mile run earlier so he’s currently passed out in the middle of his kitchen floor,” Jesse chuckled. 

Since most of us were in Japan, we needed someone to watch Salem and Kuma. JT immediately offered when Jesse brought it up. 

“Have you found a place yet?” He asked while motioning to my phone. 

I sighed while dropping it to my lap so I could rub out the stress from my temples. “There is one that looks promising. Has everything we need. But the neighbors are about a mile away which is a little too close for us. We envision complete solace. Is that bad?” 

He shook his head while running a hand through his unruly curls. “Not at all. It’s fine to want some privacy. I mean, it’s why you guys are thinking of moving out anyway.” 

“I know,” I nodded before showing him the listing. “It wouldn’t be so bad if one of you guys moved in next door since the house next door is for sale too so maybe I could talk Y/N into buying both so we can have extra space. I emailed the relator earlier so now it’s the waiting game. ” 

Over my laughter from my joke, I nearly missed the way Jesse let out a low hum as he clicked on the listing for the house next door. 

THIRD PERSON POV

A soft breeze blew through the bright cherry blossom stems, bringing a sense of calm to everyone who sat, patiently waiting to watch a harmony of two people becoming one. They all waited with baited breath for Y/N to emerge from the back door while Noah stood at the end of the aisle with Matt. Noah radiated nerves and did his best to keep his shaking hands hidden behind his back so he didn’t run them through his hair. It had been slicked back perfectly for the wedding and he couldn’t risk messing it up before Y/N saw it. 

Even though a lot of aspects of their wedding wasn’t traditional, Y/N still wanted to keep some parts. They hadn’t seen each other since late last night after Noah and her snuck into the bathroom for a sweet kiss goodnight. While the guys got ready, the girls went out for breakfast. When it was time for Y/N and the rest were time to get ready, all of the guys went for lunch. Anything they could to stay away from each other. Noah didn’t want to risk ruining her big moment so he did his best to stay far away from her; even if it was killing him on the inside. 

Noah was dressed in a pair of black slacks and a white button up shirt, something he didn’t wear often. On the lapels of his dress shirt were angel wings pins that connected with a golden chain. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, showcasing not only his tattoos but also the silver bracelet; the one that mirrored Y/N’s. 

Matt bumped his shoulder with Noah’s. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like I’m going to throw up all over my shoes,” he admitted with a staggered breath. 

“Just take deep breaths like Dr. P instructs you. It’s just Y/N, no need to be nervous,” Matt assured Noah before pressing down the front of his shirt. 

When Matt asked Y/N last night if he could still wear his hat during the ceremony, Faye immediately smacked him upside the head causing said hat to fall to the ground. 

“These are your best friends, Matthew! You’re not wearing a hat during the ceremony!” Faye chastised him. 

So now, here Matt was standing next to Noah, ready to officiate the wedding while wearing a black button up with pants to match and his blonde locks pulled back into a low bun. Faye couldn’t stop staring at him as she stood off to the side, one of Y/N’s bridesmaids. 

Astrid was the maid of honor, followed by Tay and Faye as bridesmaids. On Noah’s side it was Nicholas as the best man, given their years of friendship and history. Jesse and Joakim were the other two groomsmen. Although they had a big family, Noah and Y/N decided on keeping the bridal party small. 

The backyard was littered with vast amounts of Japanese lanterns that illuminated the space around them as the sun was beginning to set. There was a large cherry blossom tree in the yard where Noah stood, waiting for his bride. A few petals managed to fall off a branch with a sudden gust of wind and lingered on his shoulder. As he was about to brush them away, there was a soft voice that seemed to whisper in his ear, halting Noah. Just as the patio doors opened, a butterfly landed on the other shoulder and that voice from earlier spoke in his ear again. 

“Think I’d miss this?” 

Noah’s eyes snapped over to the two empty chairs in the front row. One with a picture of Y/N’s father and the other, the one that had his immediate attention, was a picture of Keaton. 

“Glad you’re here, buddy,” Noah spoke under his breath. 

The speakers that Matt had set up in the yard began to play a familiar tune; an instrumental version of You and I. Like a lot of other things in their wedding, the song that Y/N chose to walk down the aisle wasn't the typical song played at every other wedding. They wanted to be different, to show that their love was different than anyone else's. Their love story wasn’t like any told in existence or written in books. 

The clouds above in the sun kissed sky opened up to let those rays paint the figure at the end of the aisle who was flanked by Chase on one side and Malcolm on the other. Suddenly, a flash of every moment between them flashed in Noah’s eyes; the good, the bad, the private ones. Everything they’d gone through the last couple years, from the moment he stepped off the tour bus to right now. It was all worth it. 

Noah was worthy. 

Y/N was worthy. 

And now, in a matter of minutes, their bodies and souls would collide while they danced together in the moonlight as the stars aligned for them. 

The moment Noah’s eyes locked with Y/N’s, all of the breath had been stolen from his lungs. He felt frozen in a time loop, trying to gather if this was real life and he wasn't still stuck in his dreamstate. Tears welled in his eyes as he let out a choked laugh when he saw Malcolm needing a moment before they began their walk towards Noah. 

It was evident that everyone was affected in some way or another by seeing Y/N in her dress. Malcolm blew out a few deep breaths before he nodded over to Chase. 

“I’m ready.” 

Chase raised a brow. “You sure? We can wait another minute if you need.” 

Y/N’s eyes widened. “No the fuck we can’t. Noah is waiting for me.” 

She was thankful her hair was pulled back by an angel wing hair clip with only a few strands falling in her face because the heat emanating from her body brought a thin sweat to her skin. 

“Alright,” Malcolm hooked his arm with hers again. “Let’s get you married.” 

With the song still playing, all three of them took a shared breath, before they began the walk down the shortened aisle. While everyone's eyes were on her, Y/N only had eyes for one person. 

Noah. 

Who currently had tears rolling down his face and made no effort to wipe them away. On one of his shoulders was a few petals from the cherry blossom tree above him while on the other shoulder there was a pretty blue butterfly that made no effort to move. She noticed the angel wings pin on the collar of his shirt as when her gaze fell to the buckle on Noah’s belt, Y/N sucked in a breath. 

Her dad. 

Noah wore her fathers belt buckle that had his initials. Her dad only wore it on special occasions and he had it in the family for the last 30 years. 

As she walked past all of her friends, Joe gave her a wide smirk with a wink; an action that told her one thing. 

Told ya you guys would be here. 

For a brief moment, Y/N remembered how Joe was there for her when they toured together and assured her that the break between Noah and her were exactly what they needed to get to this moment. 

The invisible string that bound them together began to vibrate deep within their chests as Y/N closed the distance to Noah. All day, she’d felt sick because of the nerves that ate away at her. But now that she stood in front of him, all the worry fell to the grass beneath her feet. 

With kisses from Chase and Malcom to her cheeks, they gave Y/N away to Noah who took her hand happily. 

“Hi, angel,” he let out a giggle. 

“Hi yourself, mochi,” she blew out a shaky breath. 

One they stood across from each other, Y/N handed her bouquet of Violets over to Astrid while Faye handed her something special. 

“Before we get started, I have something for Matt,” Y/N spoke while placing a hat on top of Matt. 

The word Officiant was bold and large in white letters on the front. 

“Oh thank god,” Matt let out a long breath while adjusting the hat. 

“There’s the Matt I know and love,” Y/N smiled before linking hands with Noah again. “Alright, now marry us already because I’m dying to kiss Noah.” 

A chorus of laughter echoed in the backyard before finally settling and Matt cleared his throat. Even with the shaking of nerves from Noah, the butterfly on his shoulder didn’t falter and that’s when Y/N got a good look at the three dots on one of the wings. While Matt began his speech, a flutter of wings caught Y/N’s attention for a brief moment. A butterfly with black and yellow stripes landed on her wrist as she continued to hold Noah’s hand. She sucked in a breath when the realization hit what kind of butterfly it was. 

A Japanese Luehdorfia.

Y/N’s father spent a lot of his free time while living in Japan studying butterflies and these ones were his favorite. With the butterfly on Noah’s shoulder and the one on her wrist, the final two guests had arrived. 

“I love you,” Noah mouthed to her as Matt rambled on about how everyone has a soulmate in their life. 

Y/N squeezed his hands. “I love you more.” 

“Alright everyone knows how much I love to yap but now it’s time for Noah and Y/N to exchange their vows,” Matt smiled as he took a small step away from them to give them their own space. 

Noah cleared his throat before taking a deep breath and did his best to calm the rapid beating of his heart. 

“This is about to be long so please bear with me,” Noah jokes. 

Jesse parted his lips to say something but with a sharp glare from Tay, he snapped his mouth shut. 

“Angel, I never knew truly just how much my life would change when we got the call about us touring together. When we met, I was in a weird place in my life but never knew that in such a short amount of time that everything was going to be okay again. Every moment spent with you that summer was something I could never forget; I didn't want to forget. That was the summer I knew we'd be here, together.”

Y/N squeezed Noah’s hand, both of the butterflies still resting on them, as he continued on with his vows. Everyone realized that he wasn’t reading from something, everything he spoke came from his mind on the fly.

“There was always something that held us away from each other, whether we sucked at communicating. More so, I really sucked at communicating. Or the fear that I wasn't worthy to be loved so strongly by you. The world stopped moving when you walked out that hotel room door. Which is why I made a promise to myself never to see you walk away like that again. Everything that's happened in our lives has led us to this spot. I wrote some silly little words in a hotel room years ago "Would you say I'm worthy?" and not a day goes by where you don't find a way to show me I'm worthy of you. That bracelet on your arm where the butterfly rests, Every morning you're in my bed, every time you burst in the room to share with me an idea for a song or painting you have. After all that time, after all those tears and pain and wondering if I was worthy, I can finally say out loud that we both are worthy. I won't drown you out, and I will wait for you no matter where we are. You were my angel before, and you're my angel now and forever.”

Y/N brushed away the tears with the hand that didn’t have the butterfly resting on her. “Thank Hades for waterproof mascara.” 

With his eyes lingering on the silver chain and locket hanging around Y/N’s neck, Noah continued on. “Y/N, I spent so much time overthinking the past, where it slipped away all the time we let escape from the both of us while we tried to heal ourselves so we could be better for each other. At first I succumbed, kept myself numb while I tried to deal with the fact that I may be losing you. But I was not okay, I was not alright. How many times have I survived trying to feel like I’m alive? Never being able to change and get outside of my own head. I thought I knew that you couldn’t change me anyway but that’s where I was wrong, Angel. Because you had already changed me.”

Something shifted in the air around everyone and the butterfly on Noah’s shoulder began flapping its wings, almost like it was ready to take off. Y/N saw something ignite in the dark embers of Noah’s eyes as he spoke the final words of his vows. 

“I was a helpless mess but you stole my pain, Novocain. You made me feel alive the moment I first saw you. I know now that I no longer have to survive because now, I have something that makes living so worthy. It’s you. In time the price we pay in pain brought us eternal peace. There is no Angel without Mochi, and there is no Mochi without Angel. I look at you right here before me and the same voice that’s been with me from the first time I met you is singing that it’s all okay. Everything is okay Angel, it’s you and me until forever.”

Just as Noah finished his vows, the butterfly on his shoulder fluttered up into the air to fly around both of them before shooting up into the air. 

Swallowing thickly, Y/N adjusted her wrist to grab the papers that Astrid held out to her and yet again, the butterfly on her wrist remained unmoving. 

“How the fuck am I supposed to follow that?” She chuckled. 

“You can’t,” Noah winked. 

Playfully rolling her eyes, Y/N took a centering breath and began reading from the papers in her hands. 

“Noah, or Mochi if you will, I was stuck in an endless cycle of never knowing what love truly felt like. I spent so many days and nights wondering when I would bloom. The day I stepped off that bus and saw your face is when I started. I couldn't help myself but wonder if the look in your eyes was real or not, I was so scared you wouldn't see me for more than what everyone made me out to be. Yet you never saw that version of me that people created. You only saw me.”

“That day in the hotel when I walked out, I felt my world break. I knew at that moment it was you and only you but I was so scared I wouldn't be what you wanted or needed. I was so worried I was holding you back from the life you dreamt so heavily of because of my condition. You never saw the endometriosis, you never held those struggles against me. You love me despite all my faults.” 

“Those are not faults, Y/N,” Noah wiped a tear away from her face. 

Leaning into his palm, she pressed a tender kiss. “I know. It took a lot of sessions with Dr. Poulos for me to realize that I can't let my condition define me, shout out to her for that and put my head on straight.” 

Everyone let out a small chuckle of laughter as Older Noah watched with a faint smile on his lips because he knew how well his Allie would relate with Y/N and their shared conditions. But with his granddaughter sitting next to him, Older Noah knew that a miracle could happen for them as well. 

“I came from a broken home and was made to believe on one side that I wouldn’t get this; would get this life I created on my own and with you. I was told that no one would love me despite my condition. Not only you, Noah, but everyone here never saw me differently. You all took me in like one of your own, took Chase and Malcolm in. You all were a family but let us in on that first day of tour.” 

Bryan snapped away picture after picture, cementing these vows forever with something Y/N and Noah can look back on. Especially when the butterfly on her wrist finally moved for the first time and now rested on her abdomen while Y/N spoke the final proclamation of her love for Noah. 

“I always knew it was safer by your side and knew I just had to give it time. Chase and Malcolm always told me "if you can keep the love alive, you'll survive." It was so deep in my soul and I held on to that. Noah, from the moment I walked in your house for that party to the moment we finally admitted it was always going to be you and I. You will forever be worthy of my love. Every breath I take will be for you, from now until the last and after that, meet me in the epilogue so I can find that smile. Mochi, our stars aligned and I'll keep them there for as long as you let me.”

By now, there wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd, especially Nicholas who watched his best friend bounce on the soles of his feet. Noah was ready to kiss his bride. But first, they exchanged rings. 

“Well,” Matt cleared his throat, doing his best to mask his emotions. “We’re going to skip over the part where I ask if anyone objects because we all have been waiting for this to happen. So with that being said, by all the powers invented and by that one website, I announce you two husband and wife. Noah, for the love of the Gods, kiss your bride!”

Right as Noah reached for Y/N’s waist, the butterfly fluttered away in the same path the other had done moments ago. With a wink, Noah pulled her to his chest and brushed his lips across hers. It was slow at first, both savoring the moment as the world faded away around them, then all at once the pace increased as the invisible string between them tied the final knot to connect their souls once and for all. 

“Mrs. Sebastian,” Noah brushed his nose across Y/N’s. 

She broke out in a fit of giggles while wrapping her arms around Noah’s waist to bury her face in his chest. “About fucking time.” 

THIRD PERSON POV

The moonlight glimmered high in the sky, bathing everyone in the yard in a luminescent glow. It was well into the evening, everyone calming down from the long day of celebration. 

After the ceremony, Noah and Y/N immediately went into the house where Nicholas had his tattoo equipment set up. They each got one simple tattoo on the inside of their wrists. 

Worthy. 

Now they sat together in one of the large outdoor chairs with Y/N in his lap as Noah buried his face in her neck. His heart would not stop beating wildly in his chest because finally, after all the hell they overcame, they were finally where they were meant to be. They danced together for the first time as husband and wife to Just Pretend-Acoustic; the same version Noah sang to her the night he proposed. 

Jolly and Astrid hung off to a secluded corner of the yard while he rested a hand over her bump. She was only a few months along but now she was showing which caused Jolly to not stop wearing that bright smile. He was beyond proud of the family he created. 

Faye and Matt were in the middle of the made-up dance floor as she rambled on about all the little ideas she loved about the wedding and how she wanted their wedding to go. Matt listened intently without saying a word, simply watching his fiancé with adoration in his eyes. 

Tay was sitting with Dove, both of them giggling about something, while Jesse watched from a distance. He’d been planning things all evening in his head, mapping out his life and it was evident in the way his heart lurched in his throat when Tay continued to laugh that he was feeling an emotion that was new for him. Closing the distance between them, Jesse extended a hand towards Tay, who titled his head at him. 

“May I have this dance?” He asked as Repay by The Plot In You began playing through the speakers. 

Tay glanced over to Dove, feeling bad it was interrupting their conversation but the brunette waved her off. “If you don’t dance with your man, I’ll push you into him.” 

Once Tay was finally in Jesse’s embrace, they began to slowly move about the yard and he brushed his forehead against hers. 

“I love you,” he proclaimed for the first time. 

Tay’s eyes widened and leaned away from Jesse to get a good look in those chocolate boba eyes. “What?” 

He cupped her cheek to lay a small yet forceful kiss to her lips. “I love you so much, darlin. It’s fine if you don’t feel the same, I just needed to-.” 

“I love you too. So fucking much, Jesse. I’ve realized it for a while but was so afraid you wouldn’t feel the same yet.” 

As new love blossomed, new beginnings were starting for Michael and Lori as they sat in front of the bonfire as they divulged about themselves to each other. Bryan and Davis offered to take Older Noah back to the hotel and were booking rooms for everyone else because for the first time in a week since they first arrived, Noah and Y/N would be alone. 

“I have a surprise for you,” Y/N whispered in Noah’s ear as she continued to sit on his lap. 

“You do?” His brows peaked as his cock twitched underneath her. 

She said nothing, simply pressed a kiss to his cheek before sauntering into the house. 

READER

I shook out the nerves from my hands as I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. The white lace stood out against my complexion and I double checked to make sure my breasts were pressed up perfectly. Turning to the side slightly, I peaked at my ass that was barely covered by the end of the lingerie. When I found it in the store a few weeks ago, I knew immediately I had to buy it from the angel wings alone. 

I never wore anything like this for Noah before which is why I was extremely nervous. While our sex life was extraordinary, I was still very unsure on how he felt about me dressing up in something like this. 

“Stop being a pussy!” I pointed at my reflection. “You’re hot. You married THE Noah Sebastian!” 

I quickly shook my head. “No, he married THE Y/N L/N, well now Sebastian. But that’s beside the point. You are going to bring this man to his knees. He loves you and would fuck you even if you wore a potato sack.” 

Realizing I was still rambling to myself, I shook my head and quickly spritzed myself with my perfume; Noah’s new favorite of mine that smelled like peaches. Fluffing out my hair, I gave my reflection a curt nod before flipping off the lights and stepping out of the bathroom. The house was quiet, only the floor creaking beneath my feet as I crossed the hallway into the bedroom Noah and I dubbed ours. We decided to make my dads bedroom the new office, the old office our bedroom, and still keep the guest room the same. 

As I walked into the bedroom, I saw Noah sitting on the end of the bed with his gaze down on the floor between his feet. He’d changed out of his wedding attire and wore only a pair of red briefs. His shoulders rose and fell with each deep breath as his hair dangled in his face but made no effort to brush it away. When he played with the new black band around his ring finger, I took in the sight of the new tattoo on the inside of his wrist, the same one I had. 

Worthy. 

Clearing my throat, I stood a few inches in front of Noah with my hands behind my back, trying hard not to knock into the ends of the angel wings. His head snapped up from the floor and when they landed on my form, his pupils bled darkness. 

“Uh, do you like it?” I shifted on my feet, waiting for his answer. 

Noah was still silent, only keeping his eyes on my breasts that were barely hidden underneath the white lace. He made no move towards me which made me start to second guess this idea. 

“This was stupid,” I muttered before turning on my heels. 

A hand shot out to grasp my hand, halting me, and when I glanced back I saw Noah staring up at me. 

“You’re a literal fucking angel,” he mused before yanking me down to his lap. 

The head of his cock pressed against the thin material of his briefs and I bit back a moan when I felt it brush along my core. 

“My angel,” Noah praised while fingering the end of the wings. “Keep these on.” 

I raised a brow at him while brushing away the hair from his face. “The wings doing it for you, Mochi? Do you want to chase me through the woods while you wear your mask and fuck me with them on?” 

“Don’t tempt me,” he groaned while dragging his teeth over my collar bone. 

With his hands on my hips, Noah guided me along his cock as I let my head fall back in bliss. I’d been wound up all week due to us deciding not to be sexual with each other and knew that if he even breathed on my clit, I would orgasm. 

I gently pushed him away from me to lay him down on the bed while I fell to my knees between his legs. 

“Oh fuck,” Noah ground out while letting his head fall to the bed as I dragged his briefs down the length of his thick legs. 

My lips parted over the leaking head of his cock with my fingers wrapping around the base. I hummed in pure delight as the salty taste lingered on my lips when I sank my mouth down on him. 

"So good," I praised looking up at him through my lashes

He groaned with pleasure as I took my time with him. I wanted to savor the way he always tasted. 

"Angel," Noah warned. “Please. I need you."

I popped off of him and wiped away the drool from my chin as I rose to my feet slowly. "Is Noah Sebastian begging?"

“For my wife? Yes I am.”

"Well, who am I to make you wait," I straddled his hips once again. 

Neither of us wanted to wait any longer so he undone the buttons of the lingerie teddy to expose my bare cunt to his awaiting cock. His eyes snapped up to me for a moment so I gave him a nod right before he guided himself past my wetness, the thickness of his cock filling me completely. It pulsed inside of me, earning a desperate groan.

Noah's eyes fluttered shut as his lips parted, his hands gripping my hips so tight I was sure there would be bruises in the morning. But I didn't care. Having him finally inside of me felt so fucking good.

Having my husband inside of me made my soul come alive. 

I rocked my hips against him with my swollen clit rubbing against his warm stomach and I shivered at the sensation, the coil in my stomach pulling taut. Noah’s eyes jumped to the silver chain around my neck and gripped it with force to pull my lips down to his, devouring me 

“Mine,” Noah demanded while fucking up into me. 

I let out a silent yell when he hit the spot that made my spine ignite but the chain tightened around my throat, nearly cutting off my airway. 

“Say it,” he panted. “Say your mine, Y/N.” 

“I’m yours, Noah. Forever yours.” 

He attacked my lips with so much force I had to rest a hand on his chest, our tongues exploring each other's mouths in a kiss so vicious it made my head spin. Noah's hips finally moved in a slow, steady stroke, and I whined into the kiss.

"More," I mumbled into his lips.

"Fuck, angel." He groaned. "It's too good."

I cupped his face to look at him. "Cum for me, Noah. Fill me up, please. I need you to cum with me.” 

That's all he needed before his arms wrapped around my back, nearly crushing the angel wings,  pulling me closer to his chest as his hips snapped up into me in violent strokes, the head of his cock hitting that perfect spot. I yelled out my pleasure, exposing my neck to Noah who immediately attacked it with his teeth leaving bite marks all along it.

My body hummed in a prayer-like awaking, the flames and heat burning high in my belly as my organs crested higher; so fucking high I was afraid I would combust into nothing but a matter of air. His name fell from my lips in devotion, a woman praying to her husband, and my toes curled when I finally came apart, Noah slowly falling behind me. 

THIRD PERSON POV

As Y/N and Noah lay together in a mess of tangled limbs, both coming down from their shared high, he let the sounds of her deep breathing ease him into his own slumber. Her discarded lingerie and wings lay scattered on the ground and Noah made a mental note of asking Y/N on how she felt about hanging them up in their home. 

He couldn’t stop watching her sleep with a smile that no one could erase. She was his. Finally Y/N was his wife and he would do whatever he could to make her happy. 

Long fingers dragged up and down the snake tattoo on her back, almost like how he had the night they first lay together. The long day was coming to an end, the new chapter of their lives began tomorrow, which caused Noah to sweat all over because he couldn’t help but let the anxious thoughts creep in.

Take a breath, Noah. It’s okay. 

Doing just that, he eased into the warmth Y/N proved and rested a hand on her stomach, finally letting himself succumb to the darkness. 

“Love you, mochi,” she mumbled into the skin of his chest. 

He kissed her forehead. “Love you more, angel.”

The rain that surrounded them in the beginning was no longer something that drowned them. It couldn’t rain all the time. Their love was forever unbroken. It created lines upon lines of memories, some old and some new. It brought about friendships that tied together as one family. All because of a miracle that had yet to present itself. They were no longer afraid of the wars that were waged against their sins. They weren’t okay in the beginning but their love proved that they no longer had to pretend. They waited each other out and Y/N would forever stay until morning. 

All because they both were worthy.

[spiderwarden]

No but Minthara’s reaction to fear, insecurity, uncertainty, heartbreak, sadness, anxiety, and for the most part ALL emotions involving vulnerability is aggression. Because aggression is easiest to manage, easier to handle, and the bad part about that is when anger and fury are thrown at the front it’s hard to make left or right of WHY that was (and sometimes you may know exactly why just refuse to admit. It’s case to case.)

So would I say the breaking up with dark urge for the rejecting Bhaal is out of character? No. (She is also very eager to prove herself to Bhaal too early in the temple.) But do I think it entails a permanent break up with dark urge? Not entirely. I do however think it leads to the one of the biggest arguments ever that blow up the camp completely in terms of the fighting. You know the kind that entails shouting and screaming and threatening one another and it seems like an argument to make or break them (and in most cases won’t break them, but if one isn’t careful it just might)

She has just labelled your bond, so I doubt it’s that easy to break up with her.

[makeupbychio]

divorce? hell nah // logan howlett x fem!mutant!reader

Summary: You’d been fighting a lot with your husband Logan lately over pointless stuff, so Laura is worried about the future of her parent’s relationship. So are you.

Warnings: stupid fights, cursing, angst, reader dealing with depression, Logan being the best daddy and husband. Mentions of anxiety, family and work drama. Laura being your daughter so found family. Happy ending, mentions of smut.

Words: 2.5k.

A/N: Once again, a reminder that english is not my first language so I’m sorry if there is a mistake. This takes place in the world of Logan (2017) but everyone’s fine of course, let’s pretend that no one is dy1ng and you adopted Laura. I had a dream about this so enjoy, I wrote it so fast before I forgot it. Love y’all! <3 ALSO, you can read this with my previous Logan fic TRAINING SEASON, this is them in the future.

italics = past.

— — —

“Logan we need to stop fighting like this over stupid shit” you exhaled tired of this. Lately you've been fighting a lot with Logan, so frequent that it feels weird to you. Because not even when you were younger you remember fighting so much, and 80% of the time it was over meaningless stuff. 

The day was over, so both of you were doing your night routine to go to bed. The nostalgia of a sunday night is all over the air. Logan just joined you after putting Laura to sleep, he closed the door of your shared room. You’ve been trying to get up from the bed but the day was really  exhausting mentally for you.

Logan wanted to add that the last fight was you that started it but he held himself to make it worse because it would not add anything mentioning that right now. It was already in the past. “Yeah, I agree.” He just nods and stands far away from you with his hands resting on his hips, he’s looking at the floor thinking for a solution.

You are aware you are not at your best moment, you are dealing with so much lately. You are all the time worried about your family drama, then there are so many things changing at work that are stressing you out too. Also, of course the daily worries that include having a family. 

Logan is aware of this tough moment you are going through and he’s always there to support you, to have a shoulder to cry on, all ears for you so you don’t have to hold anything in your mind. That’s also what you did when he’s dealing with shitty things. 

But lately, god, everything seems to get on your nerves for the both of you. Sometimes the clothes are all spread on the floor, or when you arrived late from work and there is nothing on the fridge left to eat, or when Logan tries to defend Laura for something that really needs a punishment, etc. And it doesn’t help when you had a shitty day at work or keep receiving bad news from your family, so sometimes you just explode and Logan is also mad or had a shitty day so that’s when the fights start. 

“We really need to stop, Laura's been asking if we are okay” you told him with tears in your eyes. “When you went for a run in the morning, she came here to our room and laid next to me in bed so we had breakfast together and she looked under the weather, like she was not having a good time even when we had sweet treats and stuff…” you started to tell him about what happened earlier. “So I asked her if everything was alright and she looked right into my eyes and with a sad face she asked me if we were going to divorce- and- I told you Lo it was the most heartbreaking thing she could possibly ask me and…” you started to sob by remembering that conversation. 

Logan is now sitting next to you at the end of the bed. Holding your hand close to him, all of his attention to you. “And I was so shocked so I put my hands on her face holding her to really pay attention to what I was about to say…” you continued. 

“No, baby. Why are you asking that? Your dad and I love each other so much, and both of us love you so so so so much. We are not getting divorced” you held her face trying your best not to cry in front of her, the thought of being apart from the little family you had with Logan made you sad. 

“I’m asking because last night I heard you guys fighting, I mean you were raising your voices and then dad closed the door really hard. And it’s not the first time” Laura confessed and you felt bad that she had to listen to you argue. “Last week when I was outside playing with Franky I also heard both of you yelling”. 

“I’m sorry, baby. You should not have witnessed that, don’t worry. With your dad we’re okay” you caressed her hair to give her some calm to her mind.

”My friend Dani told me that it happened the same to their parents that are divorced now. So I’m scared that one day dad will leave us just like Dani’s dad” Laura told you with tears in her eyes just at the thought of her dad leaving her and her mom. 

That’s when your heart broke into a million pieces. You kept telling her not to worry, that you were having pointless arguments. You didn’t want to tell her about your problems at work and with your family because she’s a little girl, she should be worried about school and having fun as a kid and not about divorce and her dad leaving. 

So once you noticed she calmed down, you stayed in bed the whole morning and watched a movie together with Franky on Laura’s lap. The dog she adopted never leaves her side especially if he senses that she’s sad. 

And also you made up your mind that things needed to change, to stop these stupid fights with your husband. 

You told Logan about what happened in the morning when he left for his daily workout. Not wanting to tell him during the day because Laura is so concentrated on every attitude of both of you. That’s why you are telling him now that she went to sleep. Logan sighs like never before, like he was holding his breath the whole time you were talking, but never letting go of your hands together. “I know our daughter is smart and so empathetic just like you, so I get why she’s worried. I had to admit that I closed the door so hard, that’s on me. We need to stop fighting over bullshit, babe. We need to fix this, but I’m not leaving you guys”. Logan let go of your hand to stand in front of you squatting down holding your knees, “I’ll NEVER leave you, you hear me? We had been through so much worse, remember? And we made it because I fucking love you and I know you love me”. Logan reassured you too in case the same thought that Laura has is placed in your mind too.

You caressed his cheek and looked into those beautiful eyes of his, “I love our family, Logan. Like you said we made it through so much worse, I’m sorry I’ve been irritated lately. That’s on me, I’m going to do my best” tears flowing down your face. Logan quickly wiped them off. 

“Babe, I’m right here. I don’t know why but when you’re in a dark time you always felt free to cry and told me about it but this time it feels like you’re holding all of this sadness to bury it deep down. What 's going on? What changed?” Logan asked with curiosity because you’ve been together for years. 

“I don’t know, Lo. Maybe the hormones, maybe I don’t want to be a burden for you guys. Like I have to be strong for Laura, she’s my number one priority right now and she had an awful life before she found us so I don’t want to give her all of my shit, she’s a kid. Like I said, she should be worried about school and having the childhood she deserves” you poured your heart out to your husband. 

“My love you’ll never be a burden for me, you hear me? I need you to say it so that you understand. Besides, Laura needs to see us sad too, we can’t lie to her that life is all the time just joy. I’m not saying to tell her all of our problems, but that is valid if we feel some kind of way, we would be faking if we were smiling or just okay all the time”. Logan, the angry wolverine you used to know was gone the moment he met you back then in Charles’s mansion. Anger stopped being his only emotion, you made him feel in that same moment that he was always going to be able to show his real emotions and stopped playing this character of the angry and intimidating man. 

“I understand, Lo”. You finally gave him a smile. It is not fair for you to struggle alone and let go of this stress by fighting. You really need to start saying what’s going on, and Logan is always going to be there for it. Just by thinking of the huge difference of the fights you used to have in the past, a small laugh escaped your mouth. Logan looks at you surprised but happy that you got something off your chest. 

“What’s on your mind now, sugar?” Logan asked curiously. 

“I just remember the things we used to fight when we started dating, I mean we were younger and sometimes really stupid. And also the fights we used to have for mistakes we made on missions. We still fight when the other is on the field out there in danger, the worry about losing the other one always starts an argument…” you answered. 

“Yeah but those always ended up with a make out session…” Logan gave you a flirty grin, his dirty mind already enjoying the memories. To be honest, after a mission with or without an argument it always ends with both of you giving each other so much pleasure and comfort for being safe and sound. 

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! THAT WAS WAY TO DANGEROUS!!” Logan losing his mind because you almost got killed out there. 

“I HAD TO DO IT, I COULDN’T LEAVE THEM RIGHT THERE!!” you explained yourself why you came back to the field and risked your life. “IF I DIDN’T HELP THEM, NOBODY’S WAS GOING TO!”. 

God, your empathy is one of Logan’s favorite things about you, but more than once it has given him almost a heart attack. 

“NOT ALL THE TIMES WE CAN SAVE THEM ALL, I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT. I CAN’T LOSE YOU, PRINCESS” Logan holding your shoulders steady.

Once you were back at the mansion, and in the privacy of your shared room, Logan wanted to keep talking about the risk you made, but you just wanted to take a shower to take off all of the work done. “Honey, I’m right here in one piece. I’m fine” you brushed his hair with your fingers to calm him down. Trying to get a smile from him. 

“I insist, I can’t lose you. You’ll be freaking out too if it was me in your position” Logan raised his brow knowing you’ll be worried too about him. 

“I know, I’ll be way worse hysterical” you admitted, but at the same time just trying to calm him down. Right now both of you need to relax after a hard mission. You kept brushing his hair until he stopped talking and just leaned into your touch. Both of you ended up taking a bath together and stayed all afternoon in the sheets making love. Other times the fights after missions didn’t seem to stop and led to angry sex. 

“Now that you said that, it reminds me of Laura explaining to me something she realized when she heard us fighting last night and…” you started laughing but also felt guilty.

“I’m sorry, honey. We didn’t mean to raise our voices, we didn’t mean for you to hear us but sometimes with your dad we had our differences. But everything is fine now, we talked about it and it’s okay now” you didn’t lie. One thing you and Logan hate is to go to bed angry, it’s also true that you didn’t want Laura to hear it.

“Yeah, I know you were fighting because it wasn’t the happy screams you and dad make at night sometimes”. Laura said with the innocent intention a kid has. You almost choked on your cup of tea.

You don’t know if it was because of her powers that she heard the happy screams she’s talking about, because the house is huge and her room is not that close to your shared room. And since she arrived, every time you have sex with Logan both of you are really aware that there is someone else in the house so you keep your voice low and always lock the door. You don’t want to traumatize your daughter.

Not like before having kids, or when Laura is staying the night somewhere else, that Logan asks you to be loud so the neighbors can hear his name.

“Are you fucking kidding me she said that?” Logan laughing at your face, red like a tomato. 

“Don’t laugh at that, Lo! It was so embarrassing to explain to her that it was a conversation for another day…” you hid your face in your palms, Logan still teasing you about your sudden shyness. “So I told her that her daddy was going to explain someday when she was older why adults make those happy screams” now you are teasing him because his face almost dropped. Already anxious about how he’s going to explain to his daughter how babies come to the world and all that stuff. 

“Nope, because she’s never going to grow up. She'll always be our little girl” he tried to convince himself about that. You gave him a pat on his back that he can handle that. 

“Our little girl is almost 12, babe. So you’ll have to have THAT talk sooner that you think with her. But don’t worry I’m sure you’re going to nail that because you are the best daddy”. You assured him.

God, you can picture in your mind the reaction of Logan when teenager Laura will bring her first partner. You’ll need to be there for him because your daughter is about to experience a lot of things and your husband will need your help. 

“Don’t be a brat with me please, sweetheart I’m begging you” Logan easily put you on his lap, brushing your hair out of your face. “What if instead of giving me more anxiety you help me get rid of that anxiety we’ve been dealing with lately?” he kissed your neck, his breath so warm against your skin. 

“What do you suggest, big boy?” his hand now traveling down your spine and you hold his face close to your chest, Logan leaving kisses on top of your clothed breasts. God, you miss this, you miss him being this closer. 

“Maybe a bath or I can fuck you like this right now but we have to be really careful with the noises, especially you doll. I know you like to scream my name and how good I make you feel” Logan already taking his shirt off to whatever option you are down to. You smacked his toned chest at the insinuation, pulling him closer to kiss you with the eagerness you missed so much. He lifted you from your spot heading to take that bath, it was going to be a long night and tomorrow morning you both need to be up early to drop Laura off at school.

[hoseok666]

and they were roommates - ch. 7

pairings: jungkook x reader/taehyung x reader

genre: strangers to lovers, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, eventual angst, eventual smut, fluff, pretty much everything . college!jungkook AU, college!taehyung AU, tsundere! jungkook, warm personality taehyung, slowburn

word count: 32.8 k (😏)

series summary: it all started with a rejection from your longtime crush, jeon jungkook. you decided to confess to him on your last day of high school. after a harsh rejection and a rough summer dealing with the heartbreak, you were starting anew once your freshman year of college came. you were going to be sharing an apartment with two other roommates that you don’t even know. what a surprise you’re going to be in for once you find out it’s the one and only: jeon jungkook and kim taehyung.

ch. 1 | ch. 2 | ch. 3 | ch. 4 | ch. 5 | ch. 6 | ch. 7

It’s around 8 in the morning when you wake up from your slumber. You’re greeted with a shock of pain shooting through your head and your body is feeling as if it’s floating on water. “Fucking hangover.” you grumble to yourself. You press a hand onto one of your temples. 

You managed to get up from your comfy bed and walk to your desk drawer, where you found a small bottle of pain reliever pills. You pop two of the capsules into your mouth, washing it down with a random bottle of water you had on top of your desk. The hangover wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. After all, you were able to sober up a lot faster than your friends did. 

You were about to lay back down on your bed until you felt your stomach rumble. It was making gassy noises and hunger cues at the same time. Great. I have to shit and eat. You open your bedroom door and are met with the smell of a rich, salty umami scent surfing around the apartment floor. The smell caused your stomach to growl even more. 

Before you went to check out whoever and whatever was in the kitchen, you used the restroom to release whatever your body wanted to waste out. After brushing your teeth and washing your hands, you applied heavy concealer where Jungkook had left his hickies on your neck from last night. You entered the kitchen and caught the sight of Taehyung stirring a large pot of miso soup with a ladle. Jimin was already sitting on the table sipping the soup. When Taehyung notices your presence, he greets you with his signature grin. “Morning, __. Sleep well?” 

“Yeah, I guess so. Woke up with a slight hangover though, so I just popped some pills. Do you guys need some?” you ask the two. Jimin shakes his head, rejecting your offer. “This soup is enough to cure me.” He says after swallowing down the rest of his bowl. “I’m good too but thanks for asking, ___.” Taehyung softened at you just being…you. Considerate, selfless you. It was one of the reasons why he fell in love with you. His stomach flip flops after he is reminded about the realization from last night. 

“Do you want some miso? It’ll help with rehydrating yourself.” Taehyung offered. You accepted his offer and joined Jimin at the table. “Can I sip on some of your water?” You ask Jimin. “Go ahead.” You gladly reach his large glass of fresh cold water, and your ‘sip’ turns into you finishing it completely. 

“So, I said you could have a sip, not finish it.” Jimin stared at you as if he wanted to kill you. “Relax, I’ll refill it for you.” You chuckle, and went to the sink, refilling the water that you indirectly declared was half yours now. 

After Taehyung serves you a medium-sized bowl of miso, he joins the table with you and Jimin with his own bowl too. He chose to sit next to you. You give Taehyung a grateful smile. “Thank you so much for the meal, Tae. I’ll eat it well.” Taehyung ruffles your hair and gives you a gentle pat on your back. “Enjoy.” 

As per usual, Jimin rolls his eyes at Taehyung being oblivious to his own feelings. There was a comfortable silence in the kitchen. Jimin was just scrolling through his phone while you and Taehyung were devouring the miso. 

While Jimin is scrolling through his Instagram stories, he sees that Namjoon has posted a couple of things on his story. Jimin skips through the ones of him just recording the party, and himself with his friends. Jimin was about to just skip his story entirely until he gets to a post of you and Namjoon posing in front of the mirror together. He had arm around you and you were holding up a peace sign. His eyes widened at the sight. “Wow, not Namjoon already posting you on his Instagram story.” Jimin excitedly shoves his phone in front of you. 

When you see the picture, your face heats up. “Oh, yea that happened.” You say sheepishly. Taehyung tried not to get jealous but he’s just naturally a jealous person. It doesn’t feel good for him to see you potentially seeing another guy, especially upon recently learning that Taehyung indeed has strong feelings for you. 

“Well? Are you just gonna say that? What else happened?” Jimin pressed. You debated on telling the boys that Namjoon had asked you out on a date later this week. You felt shy to say out loud that you were going on a first date with someone…ever. Namjoon is your first ever real date. You’ve kissed only two people in your life; Kim Seokjin, and one guy you had lost your virginity to when you were a third year in high school. His name was Hwang Hyunjin. You and Hyunjin were not an official couple. It was more like what they call nowadays; a “sneaky link”. Hyunjin was attracted to you, you thought he was hot enough to fuck. The two of you were just horny teenagers and wanted to get your virginities over with. It was just sex and kisses, no dates and no feelings. Hyunjin ended up transferring to a new school for his senior year and you haven’t heard from him since. 

You decided that you shouldn't make it a huge deal to hide the date from them. “He, uh, actually asked me out on a date later this week.” You confess. Jimin’s eyes immediately fixated on Taehyung's reaction. Taehyung tried to get himself to say something. Anything. But he felt as if his throat was closed. 

“That’s…great, __. Are you excited?” Jimin began. You nodded. “Yeah, I am. He seems nice.” You didn’t want to admit that he was your first date ever because you knew they were going to just tease you for being an inexperienced loser. “He’s supposed to text me later today to confirm the time and date.” You added. You chugged down a large spoonful of your miso. 

Taehyung remained silent. He wasn’t heartbroken but he felt challenged. If Taehyung wanted you, he had to get you one way or another. He doesn’t know if he should suppress his feelings or express it the best way he can. 

Suddenly, the three of you heard a bedroom door opening. It had to be Jungkook. Your stomach felt as if it was fluttering with anxiety. This would be the first time you would be facing Jungkook since you decided to end whatever relationship the two of you had. Enemies? Frenemies? Whatever the title was, you didn’t want anything to do with Jungkook for right now. 

It came to your surprise when it wasn’t Jungkook who entered the kitchen. The three of you made eye contact with a foreign figure standing in the kitchen entrance. It was a girl. A pretty girl. This pretty girl was wearing an oversized black t-shirt. Your stomach and heart dropped in realization when you knew who the shirt belonged to. 

“Morning.” she spoke out, giving you guys a short bow. She looked a bit nervous, as if she was meeting Jungkook’s parents. The three of you didn’t verbally say anything; you all slightly bowed back to her. “Would it be alright if I grabbed some water from the sink?” she asks, while playing her fingers. Taehyung motioned her where she could find the cups. “Go ahead.” He said. 

She smiled at him graciously, and grabbed herself not one but two small glasses. She filled them both up with water and gave you guys one final bow before walking back to Jungkook’s room. The slamming of the door brought the three of you back to reality. 

“Uhm.” Jimin starts. “Yeah..” Taehyung continues. “So, does he do this often?” Jimin asked you both. Taehyung shakes his head. “This is the first girl he’s ever brought back.” He informs. The emotion that was coursing through you was a mixture of pain, jolt, and numbness. “She’s pretty.” You admit. Jimin nodded in agreement. “Yeah, she is but..aren’t one night stands supposed to not interact with household members? That’s like against the law of hookups.” 

Taehyung snorted at Jimin’s sentence. “You’re so dumb.” He playfully hits his head. “Jungkook though? He’s really entering his hoe phase now. About time.” Jimin sighs in relief, crossing his arms behind his head as he leaned back into the chair. It was silent for a few seconds. Jimin sat up quickly at a realization. “That’s why I heard moaning when I came home last night. I thought it was Taehyung watching porn.” 

You managed to crack out a chuckle at Jimin’s abruptness. Jimin is the comedic relief in this household that you, Taehyung and Jungkook needed. 

. . .

When Yeri returned back to Jungkook’s room, he was still asleep. He was snoring quietly, his pink lips slightly parted. He was shirtless and bottomless underneath the covers. Yeri sat on her side of the bed and simply stared at Jungkook. She was in awe at his natural beauty. She could stare at him for hours. When Yeri took notice of him at the party last night, he was all she could stare at all night. His beauty was striking. When Yeri knows she wants something, she gets it. And that’s exactly what went down last night. 

Jungkook leant down to whisper in her ear and ask if she wanted to go back to his place. Without even thinking about it, she agreed. Yeri and Jungkook took an Uber back to the apartment. On the way there, the two of them were in a heavy makeout session throughout the entire ride. Poor Uber driver. At least the heavy tip Jungkook left for the driver made up for the trauma. The rest of the night was pure bliss for Yeri. She hasn’t cummed that many times in a one night stand since…ever. Jungkook was a god with his fingers, mouth, and with his dick. Yeri took a glance at her thighs to see if he left any marks on her. He was kissing them like crazy last night. She was met to see no hickies on her thighs, or neck or anywhere. 

Yeri knew that Jungkook shared his apartment with roommates but when she saw you in the kitchen with the other men, she wasn’t expecting one of his roommates to be a woman. And Yeri recognized you too. Yeri has only known Jungkook for twelve hours so she knew that it wasn’t any of her concern of what kind of people live with Jungkook. However, when she had seen Jungkook at the party, she knew that she did not want to use him to be any kind of a casual hookup. She wanted more. 

Jungkook’s eyes began to flutter open from his sleep. He was a light sleeper so he could feel that someone had been in his room and observing him. When his eyes fully opened, he was met with the sight of Yeri staring at him. He almost screamed, if he was being honest. He wasn’t expecting her to still be here when he awoke from his slumber. 

“Why hello there, Jungkook.” She cooed at him. She handed him a glass of water and two pain reliever capsules. 

Jungkook stared at her for a bit. He didn’t understand why she was still here and giving him pills and water as if she was his girlfriend or something. “Thanks.” he muttered and hesitantly took the water and medicine. 

He gulped it down and placed the empty glass on his nightstand. “How did you sleep?” Yeri asks. She reached down to tuck a piece of his jet-black hair behind his pierced ears. Jungkook shuddered at her touch. Her hands were freezing cold. 

Before he could answer, he looked around his bedroom. Their clothes were scattered throughout the floor. The messiest his room has ever been in awhile. He hates mess. He hates anything that isn’t in his order. 

When he attempted to sit up, his back instantly began to sting. It was as if his skin was ripped open. He hissed in pain and attempted to turn his head to examine the cause of the pain. Yeri got up from the bed and went to look at his back for him. When she noticed all the scratch marks she left on him, she winced hard. 

“Oh..I’m sorry. Seems like I scratched you a bit too hard.” She flashed him an apologetic smile. His mind flashbacked to Yeri riding him and digging her nails, piercing through his skin, from her pleasure. 

He cringed at the memory, not wanting to reminisce on what the two of them did last night. He felt awful to admit that he was embarrassed his drunk self caused him to engage into another hookup. Two hookups in one night was an extremely rare occasion for him. 

Over the summer, prior to beginning his freshman year at Konkuk, Jungkook decided to gain sexual experience to prepare himself for the college girls. He found girls on Tinder or Hinge that were willing to fuck and fuck only. As much as Jungkook tried to act like he didn’t care about girls and dating, he knew that he didn’t want to waste his college years without any sexual experience. He wanted to have stories to look back on, like Taehyung did. Jungkook didn’t like catching himself trying to follow Taehyung’s playboy footsteps however it was hard for him. Both Jungkook and Taehyung were extremely popular with women and it was overwhelming trying to contain the amount of attention the two of them had. 

“S’okay.” he mumbled back to Yeri’s apology. He got up from his bed and reached into his drawer to look for an outfit to change into. “I saw your roommates. They were eating in the kitchen.” Yeri mentioned. Jungkook silently panicked to himself. Everyone met her already? Why would she go into the kitchen and introduce herself?

“Are you hungry? We can join them in the kitchen, if you want?” She continued to talk. Jungkook wondered to himself why the hell Yeri won’t stop talking. He put on a gray plain sweatshirt, solid black boxers and matching gray sweatpants. “I, uh, actually have to be somewhere and am running late.” He indirectly asks her to leave. Yeri gets the message clearly. “So you live with her then?” She asks without any context. Jungkook cocks a brow up. “Who?” 

“The girl in the kitchen. I saw the two of you going somewhere in private last night.” If she was upset, she wasn’t showing it. “Oh. Her. She’s just my roommate. Needed to talk about her boy problems and came to me for advice.” He fed another lie. Yeri took a second to process what he said. She had a feeling that Jungkook wasn’t telling her the full truth. She remembered seeing you look annoyed with him and vice versa. 

“I see. Just wondering.” she ends the conversation. “So, I guess I’m going home in my Playboy bunny costume then?” She asks rhetorically, expecting Jungkook to give her an outfit to go home into. 

“Oh, sorry.” Jungkook went digging into his drawer to find a pair of shorts that he hoped would fit Yeri’s petite frame. He found a pair of biker shorts that should be able to fit Yeri. “Try this on.” She slides the shorts on. They were a bit loose on her waist but the oversized shirt she had on should be able to cover that. Jungkook then went into his closet and grabbed an unused trash bag. “You can put your costume inside this.” “I’ll order you an uber right now too.”

Yeri’s expectations for him were met expeditiously and she gave Jungkook bonus points for the trash bag. “Thank you.” She gives him a soft smile, which he returns back. “I’ll be going now. Hopefully, I’ll see you around to return your clothes sometime?” She asks with desperation laced in her tone.

Jungkook nodded in agreement. He had actually no plans to get in contact with Yeri again. He just needed to release the sexual frustration that was left in him after not being cum from the hookup with you. However, Yeri was wearing his most favorite black shirt so he definitely wanted that back. 

“Can I walk you to the door?” he offered. “Of course.” Jungkook opened his bedroom door for Yeri and the two of them made their way to the apartment door. Jungkook took a quick glance into the kitchen as he and Yeri walked past it. You were no longer in the kitchen. It was just Taehyung by himself and he was washing the dishes. 

When Yeri grabs onto the doorknob, she gives Jungkook one last look. “See you around, Jeon Jungkook.” She gives him one final flirty smile and exits the apartment. Jungkook breathes out a breath he was holding in. 

“So you’re hooking up now?” Taehyung approached him, slapping a hand on his shoulder. “Sorry, Tae. I know I shouldn’t do that. I won’t do it again.” Jungkook apologized. “What? I’m not upset. I’m beaming with joy! See?” He flashed him a toothy grin.

Jungkook smirked at his brother. “Very funny.” 

“So...how’d you guys meet? What’s her name?” Taehyung gave Jungkook a hyped up smile, finally happy that Jungkook is doing ‘regular-guy-things’ and not just sitting in his room doing homework and watching anime all day.

“This is where I stop talking to you.” Jungkook attempted to flee away from his annoying step-brother, but Taehyung wasn’t having any of that. “Bro, just tell me. I promise I’m not gonna stalk her or anything like that. Yet.” 

“What?”

“Kidding. Now tell me her name.”

Jungkook sighs in defeat. “Yeri. Just Yeri, I don’t know anything else about her. I literally just met her at the party last night.” 

As Jungkook said that, he was on his phone as if he wasn’t paying him any attention. This ticked Jungkook off. “How are you gonna make me tell you stuff about her when you’re on your ph-“

“Got it. I found her Instagram. Lee Yerim. Must go by Yeri for short.” Taehyung interrupted and shoved his cellphone in front of his face. Jungkook didn’t care to look at her Instagram page that was right in front of him. He doesn’t care about Yeri.

“I didn’t ask to see her Insta, dude.” 

“You don’t wanna follow her? At all?”

Jungkook groaned in annoyance. “I’m not like you. I don’t crawl back to every woman I touch.” 

Taehyung clicked his phone’s off button and tucked it into one of his pockets. He chuckled at Jungkook’s shade. “When are you gonna meet someone you genuinely care about?” he asked abruptly.

Jungkook was taken aback by his question. “Why are you asking this?”

Tae shrugged. “I just would like to see you experiencing love. Or a crush. Or even tolerate someone.” 

Jungkook’s jaw clenched a bit. Jungkook can’t remember the last time he felt romantic emotions toward someone. It’s not like he doesn’t do romance, though. It is just not a priority for him right now. He doesn’t prioritize anything that doesn’t benefit himself or his career in any way. Besides, love hasn’t done anything spectacular for his life. Love is like an estranged parent for him: knows it exists, but not familiar to it.

Jungkook is aware that his estranged relationship with love is why he has a cold personality. The closest person in his life that he can confidently know that he loves is Taehyung. 

“I don’t have time for love.” He simply answered. Taehyung let out a breath. He knew he was going to say that. Jungkook doesn’t make time for anything that doesn’t have to do with his studies or work.

“Love doesn’t care about timing. You can’t always push the thought of a relationship away.” 

“I can do what I want.” Jungkook stubbornly continued. Taehyung rolled his eyes at his brother. “You’re so annoying.” Taehyung walked away from Jungkook and made his way towards his bedroom. “I’m gonna get ready for work.” 

Jungkook stared at his figure until he disappeared into his bedroom. After being left alone, he released a long breath of air. Taehyung and his weird questions reminded Jungkook of you. He remembered the question you had asked him a while ago: “Are you content with your life?”

Jungkook still doesn’t know the answer to that question.

. . .

 It was the next week, a Saturday afternoon, when you were in the middle of cleaning your room until you heard a ding sound from your phone. 

You walked over to where you had left your cell phone charging on your bed. 

Namjoon: So how does tomorrow at 5pm sound? Dinner on me. 

Your heart quickened at Namjoon finally texting you. You would be lying if you said that you weren’t waiting on his text all day. You didn’t want to respond right away, it would look too desperate.

Instead, you immediately texted Hoseok. 

you: guess who’s going on a date tomorrow :)

Immediately, he responded. Typical Hoseok.

hobi: uhm WHAT..

 with who???

you: guess 😝

hobi: taehyung ??

You groaned in annoyance. Taehyung and I will never happen.

you: no. -.-

hobi: then i don’t care

you: LOL ur so annoying. Do you remember the guy I was dancing with last night?

hobi: wait him? he’s actually so fine. GO AHEAD 🥸

you: hehe thanks :) I can't wait to see where he’ll take me. 

hobi: bring protection <3

you: i don't let them hit on the first date 💋

. . .

“You know Namjoon and __’s date is today, right?” Jimin joined Taehyung in the living room. “Yeah, I do.” 

Jimin searched for a sign of jealousy on his best friend’s face. “So, what do you think of the two? Think they’re cute together?” Jimin decided to play with him. 

“Yeah, they’re alright.” Taehyung replied dryly. “Hey. Cut it out,” Jimin snapped. Taehyung looked up from his phone and shot Jimin a bewildered look. “Fuck are you talking about?” 

“Cut your little act. I’ve been your best friend since we were fucking five. Do you really think you can hide shit from me? I know you like __. Heck, I’m shocked that no one else caught onto it because you make it obvious as hell. When she enters the room, she’s all you’re looking at.” Jimin spat. He was beyond irritated at this point. “Why are you just gonna sit there and let your feelings continue to build up?”

Taehyung remained silent. This time, he didn’t want to lie and say that he didn’t like you when he really did. And he was desperate to talk about it with someone. Someone he trusts. 

“She’s my friend,” He starts off. Jimin was about to call him out again until Taehyung continued.

“And I don’t want to ruin the friendship we’ve built together. Plus, she seems happy dating around right now.” 

“I don’t understand. Are you admitting that you have feelings for her?” Jimin asked for clarification.

Taehyung takes a deep breath. He’s nervous as fuck. Jimin will never leave him alone once he confirms it to him. 

“I do.” 

Immediately, Jimin jumps to his feet and runs toward Taehyung, plopping his butt down the couch, next to him.

“Finally! Fucking finally! When did you come to your senses?” Taehyung couldn’t help but to laugh at Jimin’s excitement. He expected Jimin to be happy but not this happy. 

“Last night, I guess? I don’t know man. We were just on the way home after the party. And I felt…just so happy doing the most mundane thing with her.” 

Jimin smiled in pure genuinity at hearing his best friend babble himself over you. As a good best friend would be, he wanted his best friend to be happy more than anything. 

“Wow, this is so crazy, Tae. My boy is in love.” He sings out ‘love’. “Please shut up.” 

Jimin topples over in happiness and laughter with Taehyung. “So, what’s next now? You’re just gonna continue being her friend? Even though it'll literally kill you on the inside?” 

“For now, yes. I don’t wanna overwhelm her. She’s probably just trying to date around and live life. Doesn't wanna settle down with a simple guy like me yet, right?” Jimin groaned as soon as he finished his sentence. “With that mentality, you will never have a girlfriend. Tae, you have a good personality, good looks, and have a great sense of humor. You have the golden trio! Why not use it to your advantage and get the girl? It’s not like Namjoon is her boyfriend.” 

“I just need to be sure that our friendship is ready to go to the next level. I don’t want to just confess, and make it awkward for us if she doesn’t feel the same. Also, you can’t forget that we are literally roommates. It would be a stressful living situation for not just her, but you and Kook would be affected as well. There’s a lot to consider here.” Taehyung rambled on. He knew he was making valid points. Potentially dating your roommate is one of the most awkward and stressful decisions anyone could make. Jimin could see where he was coming from. 

“You’re right. Sorry for pestering you about it, I’m just excited to be right about you.” Taehyung snorted at that. “Dickhead.”

“Do I actually only stare at __ when she’s in the room?”

“You literally drool.” 

Jimin suddenly had an idea. But it was a bad idea. It was…sort of manipulative. And this idea hit him out of nowhere. Seeing the way Taehyung lit up talking about you, it was something Jimin had never seen before. Like Jimin and all of their highschool population, they all knew that Taehyung used to be quite a player. Therefore, the sight of Taehyung genuinely liking a girl was very new and refreshing. And as his best friend in the whole world, Jimin has the right to do anything to make his friend happy. 

. . .

Drip.

A singular droplet plopped on the top of your head. You looked up to the sky, only to be met with incoming dark gray clouds. Fuck. Of course it would rain right now. 

As if on cue, one singular droplet turned into two, three, four and many more. 

The smell of wet concrete and humidity filled the air. The rain began to drench you. You sighed heavily with great annoyance at this inconvenience. The bus stop you were at had no benches nor a shelter. It was just a pole and a sign. You held your hands up above you, as if you could successfully umbrella yourself on your own.

You checked your cell phone for the millionth time, hoping for a text from Namjoon…again. 

Your date was supposed to start thirty minutes ago. You were waiting outside for him, mentally giving him the benefit of the doubt. But you knew he wasn’t coming. He didn’t even have the audacity to call or text that he wasn’t going to make it. You felt humiliated and angry. You’ve never been stood up before and you didn’t know why or if you did anything for Namjoon to ditch you. 

You sigh of defeat and begin to make your way home. Even though you were literally at a bus stop, you felt that walking in the rain would match the mood you were feeling. A bit dramatic of you but it was suitable for the situation.

As you were walking, a dark, moody presence was felt behind you. Its presence was so calming yet uncomfortable at the same time. And familiar too.

The rain that was drenching you seconds ago came to a halt. 

You were looking down at the ground as you turned and you were met with a pair of black Doc Marten boots. Immediately recognizing whose shoes it belonged to, you looked up and was unsurprisingly met with the sight of Jeon Jungkook, holding an umbrella above you.

You and Jungkook remained in intense eye contact. Your breath was hitched in your throat. This was the last thing you would’ve expected to happen to you. He was the last person you would expect to hold an umbrella for you.

“Hi.” Jungkook spoke. “Hi.” you say back, looking intensely into his soulless eyes. 

It was extremely uncomfortable to be alone with him after what happened at the Halloween party. You had been successfully doing your best to avoid him. It was still hard for your mind to wrap around the fact the two of you had hooked up together. 

“W-what’s up?” You croaked out. “I’m heading home.” 

“So am I.” He said. “Let’s go home together.” Jungkook stood beside you, trying his best to make the umbrella completely cover the both of you. Your heart was beating erratically right now. Jungkook remained quiet as the two of you walked together. “Wait, weren’t we just at a bus stop?” Jungkook halted. You hesitantly nodded. “Then why are we walking? Let’s just head back to the stop. I’m sure the bus will be coming soon.” He said monotonically. You followed him as if you were a lost puppy and the two of you sat on the bus stop bench. 

The awkward tension was thick enough to slice your skull open. Your heart’s beating only got quicker and if you felt as if you could faint at any moment. You hated this; why is he here? Why is he talking to you as if nothing went down between you both? You wanted to so badly run away and never come back to your apartment. 

The bus finally arrived after what felt like an eternity. Jungkook got up and motioned you to get in first. 

You sped away and hopped on the bus and tried to sit as far as you could, hoping that Jungkook would get his own seat.

Unfortunately that did not happen. 

“What are you..” You stammer. Jungkook closed his umbrella and readjusted his sitting position.

Jungkook stared straight ahead from his seat, as if he didn't have a single thought running through his head. Soon after, you felt the bus rumbling. As the bus drove away from your stop, you looked out the window.

Just five minutes ago, you were waiting impatiently for your date to arrive, you gave up and tried to go home alone but now you are taking the bus home with Jeon Jungkook sitting right next to you.

It has been a couple of days since the Halloween party incident and you have done a great job at distancing yourself from Jungkook. You hadn’t spoken a word to him since then and have not seen him physically. It drove you a bit mad, though. Not seeing him, not having any contact with him while trying to avoid making the apartment’s tension awkward. You were willing to take the Halloween incident to the grave with you. 

“So, I’m guessing the date didn’t go well?” 

You snapped your head to face him. “Huh? What makes you say that?” You scoffed. 

“If it went well, you wouldn’t be riding the bus home alone right now, would you?” 

You scoffed again, completely blown. “This guy..” you mumbled under your breath. “What if I took the bus alon to meet up with him? I’m going home the same way I went. Alone.” you lied. It was for your pride. 

“Why would a guy let his date go home alone?” He asked. Why is he asking so many questions? Why does he want to pick on you so bad? Wasn’t the Halloween incident enough?

You decided to ignore him. You weren’t going to feed into what he wants to hear. Silence fell between the two of you for a moment. 

Not wanting to sit in silence with Jungkook, you opened your bag and reached your earpods. As soon as you were about to insert a pod into an ear, the annoying boy spoke again. 

“Namjoon isn’t a serious guy.”

This got your attention. “What?”

“Going on a date with Kim Namjoon and expecting anything after is like waiting for world peace to happen: impossible. You should’ve known better.” He scolded you. Your eyebrow twitched upward. “Why are you telling me to do better? It was just for fun.” You lied again. You were embarrassed to admit that you were hoping your date with Namjoon would turn into something new and exciting and serious.

“Frat guys are a waste of time. They are not fun nor serious. Don’t waste your precious time with them.” He continued. 

This made you angrier. Why does he care so much? 

“Well, I got stood up. So, it doesn’t really matter anymore. You won’t catch me trying to hang out with a frat guy ever again.”

You didn’t like that you were venting out your feelings to Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook was the last person to care about your feelings and thoughts on just about anything. 

“You can’t just let any guy date you. You have to be careful and selective with whom you choose to date.” Jungkook annoyingly analyzed. You chuckle at him. “What are you, Aristotle? No, he just faked his personality at the party to get himself some pussy.” You shot back. This earned an arrogant smile from Jungkook. “Maybe so.” 

“Where did you come from?” You decided to prompt. Might as well try to continue whatever conversation the two of you were sharing. “Just errands.” He cracked his knuckles. Something tells you that Jungkook was doing more than errands. Perhaps he went out with the girl from the party that he fucked last night. You hate the fact that you still feel hurt whenever you think about Jungkook doing things with another girl that wasn’t you.

“Are you okay?” You turned to look at Jungkook. You were shocked to hear him ask you this type of question. 

“Why are you asking?” 

“Just answer me.” 

You gulped down saliva and nodded. “I’m fine. Not my fault that he didn’t have the balls to tell me he didn’t wanna go out anymore.” 

Jungkook liked hearing that you weren’t gonna let Namjoon ruin your mood. It made you seem strong. “Was he gonna be your first date?” He continued to ask. Suddenly, this bus ride felt way too long. You didn’t know that Jungkook had such a nosey side to him.

Immediately, you became defensive, like always. “Hey, Jungkook. I’m not this bitchless loser you are making me out to be. I’ve been on dates before,” you lied. “I’ve been kissed before, I’ve had sex before, I’ve done everything, okay?” You said a bit too loudly. You tried ignoring the stares you were getting from other bus passengers. Jungkook stifled back a laugh at your irritated response. “Everything?” He repeated.

You couldn’t help but wheeze out a brief laugh. “Shut up.” You groaned, biting your lower lip to restrict more laughter to come out. 

“I am still doubting it. You have no game.” It was as if Jungkook’s favorite game in the world was to get under your skin and you despised how easy it was for you to give him the power to constantly and consistently piss you off. 

“Really? Do you remember Hwang Hyunjin? He was one of the cutest guys in our grade,” you looked Jungkook straight in the eyes. He was still facing straight but it seemed like he was listening. “Well, we fucked back then. And when I say fuck I mean actually fucked. Like dick-inside-vagina fuck.” Again, you got more stares from the person sitting in front of you. You returned back a scowl. 

Jungkook slowly began to face you. To say that he was shocked was an understatement. Hwang Hyunjin used to be one of the guys that every girl in their school wanted. It was like a competition between him and Jungkook on who was the most popular guy in their grade. Jungkook didn’t give a single fuck about him but Hyunjin constantly tried to belittle him to make him feel better about himself. At first he would try to bully him for being the smartest student in their class and for Jungkook’s preference of sitting alone everywhere. However, Jungkook had to teach Hyunjin a lesson on not to mess with him; a violent lesson.

After that, Hyunjin kept his distance from Jungkook for the rest of the school year; all the way until his transfer to a different high school in the middle of their third year. He was surprised that you were previously sexually involved with Hyunjin. He wasn’t exactly the nicest guy nor was he the type of guy he thought you would go for. 

“You…used to sleep with Hyunjin?” He asked. You nodded proudly. “Wow. Maybe you are dumb after all.” 

You rolled your eyes heavily and didn’t feel like continuing this conversation with him anymore. “Why don’t I remember seeing the two of you interact?” 

“We weren’t in a relationship. Just fuck buddies or whatever.” You mumbled. You have moved on from Hyunjin after he transferred but the memory of Hyunjin’s commitment issues and his treatment towards you still hurts to remember. 

You thought that he could’ve been the one. However, he strictly wanted your fling to be sexual only. No strings attached whatsoever. But in your head, Hyunjin was the most ‘thoughtful’ guy you had ever known. He was ‘thoughtful’ enough to worry about you to make sure you don’t get hurt or get led on this situationship. You thought he was careful, articulate, and set on what he wants in life. You thought he cared about you by the way he would caress your body and leave sweet kisses all over you after sex. You thought he cared about you by the way he would give you secret winks at the school hallway, as if he was flirting with you. You thought he liked you by the way he would moan your name and your name only during sex. He would say how good you felt, how good you tasted, how your kisses are the best. You thought he liked you when he would act like he didn’t know you at school. He was just trying to protect your identity, right?

Hwang Hyunjin was not thoughtful. He was not careful, not articulate, and not set on what he wanted. He didn’t care about you nor did he like you. It was all in your head.  As if your situation wasn’t any more cliché, Hyunjin was just a popular guy hooking up with a not-so popular girl and he was too ashamed to be associated with you. When in the privacy of your childhood bedroom, that was when he was being his true self. Outside of those walls, he was ashamed of you. Embarrassed of you. He just wanted you for sex and sex only. He used you and a part of you—no—all of you knew that. You just thought, in your little idealized mind, he actually wanted you at all. 

And that’s what hurt you in the end. Your fantasies. 

After Hyunjin, Jeon Jungkook returned to the picture:

It’s common knowledge that Jungkook was the genius of your high school. He was too focused on his schoolwork to have fun and date around. And you had admired that about him. Jungkook was one of the many school’s heartthrob, but he was the top. The ultimate one, the one that every single girl in Busan knew of and wanted. Due to his prestigious awards and national acknowledgments, your entire hometown knew of Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook was not only idealized by you but every other girl who had a crush on him. You thought he was mysterious, suave, introverted, and humble. 

The Jungkook that you know as of right now is still the same introverted intelligent guy but he’s abrasive, cold, and self centered. He’s not emotionally intelligent. He only thinks for and about himself. He’s extremely blunt and honest with his words and he doesn’t know how to read the room. He has the beauty and the brains but you’re not sure if he has the basic foundation of being a good person. 

“I’m guessing your type is selfish assholes.” Jungkook spoke. You smirked. “I mean yeah, I used to like you, right?” 

Jungkook's eyes darkened at that, slightly intimidating you. “What? Are you not a selfish asshole?” You edged. “I don’t care what you think of me. I could care less of what anyone thinks of me. If you want to think of me as a selfish asshole, then go ahead.” He hissed. He was so irritated with you.

“I don’t have to think about it, I know it. And you’re also someone I was dumb enough to like. You even said so yourself.” 

Jungkook looked confused. “You said you don’t like dumb girls, remember that?” 

“You’re expecting me to remember any conversations I’ve had with you?” 

“I’m not the one who’s trying to engage in conversing with you. You chose to sit next to me and ask about Namjoon. Maybe go sit somewhere else so you can continue to forget about this conversation too.” You couldn’t help your anger at the moment. Jungkook gets under your skin so badly, as if he yearns to piss you off. You’ve never had anyone push your buttons the way Jungkook did. 

Jungkook remained silent yet continued to stare at you. A new, indescribable emotion quickly flew through him when he saw the way your lips were pouting softly and seeing the way your eyebrows were crinkled in frustration. He had to hold back a chuckle seeing you so upset with him. You looked as if you were a child that was denied candy. Jungkook kind of melted in a way seeing you in this state. “Didn’t realize you were so whiny,” he continued to tease. 

“Jungkook, I swear to god if yo-”

Two small bottles of banana milk and strawberry milk were shoved in front of your face. “Pick one.” He interrupted. You quickly shut up and angrily eyed the two milks. “Why?” 

“You don’t want them?” 

“No, I do, it’s just…,” 

“Just what?” 

You gave him a suspicious look. “You poisoned them, right?” This earned a hearty chuckle from Jungkook. “Look at you being a comedian.” 

You pouted again as you snatched the banana milk from one of his hands. 

“I’m done with boys.” You say out of nowhere. This gets Jungkook’s attention. “What do you mean?”

“I’m done with boys. I’m…not going on another date with a guy unless I truly know him. You know, I’m here to get good grades, make memories and have fun. Not to waste my time on dudes who just want to dip their dick in anything that has a hole.” You vented out once again. “And I meant it when I said that I was done liking you. In case you remembered what went down on Halloween. I don’t know you well, therefore there is no use of me to continue liking you. I hope that we can move forward from what happened on that day.”

Jungkook, stunned, stared at you. He had no idea what to say. He suddenly felt a bit intimidated to be sitting near you. Especially since you brought up that forbidden night between the two of you. 

And then, he too, felt pity towards you. The past few months he had gotten to know you had been full of arguing and distance. Here you are, apologizing to him for simply liking him—or liked—him and not knowing him well. Jungkook felt uncomfortable. He didn’t like that you were still being kind to him after everything he’s done to you. 

“I’m sorry you haven’t seen the real me yet. I’ll work on that.” He replied.

You gave him a perplexed look. “Real you? You mean you aren’t an asshole?” Jungkook let out a laugh at that, rolling his eyes. “You’re the asshole.” He mumbled.

“Are we on good terms now?” Jungkook bored his doe eyes onto yours. Of course, he’s still gorgeous, that’s never going to change. 

“Yeah. Good terms. Good roommates!” You grin. Jungkook rolled his eyes at you again. “Good terms, good roommates. Okay.” And the two of you shared a kind smile with each other.

“Konkuk University.” An automated voice called out the next stop. “We’re home.” You say. The two of you get up from your seats and ride off the bus.

Jungkook felt a sense of satisfaction in his chest after the two of you agreed to remain on good terms. Before, he felt as if he was walking on millions of eggshells around you, trying to avoid the extreme tension between you both. He didn’t want to live in a household where he needed to avoid a single roommate that hated his guts. He didn’t want that energy soaring through the apartment. And so, he needed to reach good terms with you. Not just regular okay terms, it needed to be good for him. For some reason, he didn’t want bad blood between you and him.

It was just you and him walking together towards your apartment. The rain turned into a slight drizzle, pitter pattering on the pavement. Jungkook whipped out the umbrella and placed it above the two of you again.

“It’s just drizzling.” You say.

“Don’t ruin the moment.” 

. . .

It was one in the morning when Jungkook was interrupted by his studying when he received a text message from a random number. He dropped his pen on the desk and picked up his iPhone.

unknown: what are u doing tomorrow?

He raised a brow up. Who could be texting me? I have everyone’s number saved.

He decided to reply back to the mysterious human. Maybe it was just a bot?

jungkook: Who is this?

Almost immediately, the person/bot responded. 

unknown: wow are you seriously asking this

Jungkook was starting to get annoyed. He wasn’t in the mood to play games, he has a fucking exam tomorrow. He thought that maybe his roommates would know who the mysterious number was. Maybe it was a friend of theirs?

He got up from his desk and opened his door. You, Jimin and Taehyung were in the kitchen baking brownies. The three of them offered Jungkook to join but he declined the offer. “Do any of you guys know who the hell this number belongs to?” He showed the contact to the three, furrowing his brows in annoyance. 

“No idea, Kook.” Jimin answered. You and Taehyung shook your heads, also not knowing who the number belonged to.

“Seems like you should know who they are.” Taehyung smirked. Jungkook tilted his head, still thinking about who it could be. “I seriously save everyone’s number, brother. It might just be a bot or someth-“ The mysterious number double texted.

unknown: its yeri. We exchanged numbers the other night? lol.

Jungkook’s confused expression turned into a solemn deadpanned look. “Nevermind. I know who it is.” Jungkook sighed.

“Well who is it?” Jimin asked as he licked raw brownie batter off the mixing spoon. “None of your business. I’m going back to studying. Let me know when the brownies are ready.” Jimin didn’t let him walk away so easily. He jumped on Jungkook’s back, causing an uproar from him. “What the-“ 

Taehyung joined in and grabbed the phone from him while Jimin physically held him back. “What are you assholes doing?” Jungkook shouted. You were stifling back a laugh at the sight of Jungkook being thrown around. 

“Well well well. If it isn't Ms. Yeri hitting you up, eh?” Taehyung cooed out. He reread Yeri’s text over and over. A grin spread on his face. Taehyung was happy that Yeri and Jungkook were still keeping in contact. Finally a girl that could make him happy, right?

Your heart admittedly sank at hearing that sentence. It was obvious that Yeri must be the girl that Jungkook slept with from the Halloween party. You could tell that she was into Jungkook at the night of the party but you didn’t think that the two of them would still keep in contact after the party. He must really like her.

Jungkook was finally able to push Jimin off of him. “She’s the one hitting me up. I had no idea she had my phone number.” Jungkook groaned. He took a quick glance at you and Taehyung. And another quick glance at you. 

“Well we aren’t gonna let you leave until you respond to her.” Jimin jumped on his back again, causing Jungkook to whimper in pain. “You’re so heavy, Jimin.” 

“Quit stalling and text her back already.” Taehyung snapped. “I’m not stalli-” 

“Now.”

Jungkook snatched the phone away from Taehyung and quickly replied back a “hey yeri” to her. “Okay, I replied.” The two boys gave a congratulatory slap on his back, grinning from ear to ear. “Look at you! Finally hitting it off with a girl. Don’t they grow up so fast, Jimin?” 

“They sure do, Taehyung.” The boy's unseriousness caused you to giggle. “You guys are traumatizing Jungkook.” you say. Jungkook nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you’re traumatizing me. Why are you two happy that you are traumatizing me? I’m supposed to be studying.”

“Fuck you and your studies and come hang out with us.” Taehyung sneered. 

Jungkook wanted to kill himself. It is now close to four in the morning and his three other roommates were up laughing their asses off at a movie Taehyung had chosen. It was supposedly a comedy but it was anything but funny. Jungkook just wanted to desperately go back to his room and continue studying. And it didn’t help that Yeri wouldn’t get the hint that Jungkook didn’t want to be texting her at the moment. He was sending the driest texts and she would still find something else to talk about. 

yeri: So what are u up to right now?

Jungkook rolled his eyes. She’s already asked this question like five times now. He caught sight of your eyes drifting back and forth into a slumber. It was as if you were trying hard to fight the sleep away. No one else noticed this but Jungkook. 

jungkook: Watching a movie. 

yeri: oh cool! What's it called?

jungkook: Idk. 

At this point, you were averaging a couple seconds of sleep, and returned back to watching the movie. Taehyung and Jimin still had their eyes glued onto the screen, fully awake, like children who didn’t want to go to bed at all.

yeri: we should watch a movie together! How does tomorrow night sound?

Jungkook’s eyes widened at the text. Yeri boldly just asked him out on a date. He didn’t know what to say. He has never been asked out on a date before. It wasn’t like he was nervous or anything but he hardly knows Yeri. Jungkook debated whether or not he should even agree to the date or not. 

Taehyung turned his head over to glance at you. You were in the middle of sleeping. Your lips were slightly parted open, with just a trickle of drool dropping down from your lips. You were snoring as soft as a baby. Taehyung’s heart clenched at the sight of you deep in sleep. This was the second time he had seen you like this. He doesn’t think he will ever get tired of this view of you looking so gorgeous. It’s all he can look at. The movie wasn’t as interesting as seeing you subconsciously away from the world.

And then out of nowhere, you screeched out a heavy snore. Immediately, Jimin yelped at the horrific sound. “What the fuck?” Taehyung bursted out laughing, not being able to hold it in. Jungkook too had a smile twitching from the corner of his lips. “Has she always been a snorer?” Jimin asked in a whispered voice. “Yeah. She snores pretty often.” Jungkook answered without a second thought. Taehyung and Jimin gave him a shocked stare, as if they weren’t expecting him to know that. 

“What? She literally lives right next to me? Our walls are thin.” Taehyung and Jimin nodded understandably. Still, Jungkook found his cheeks warming slightly at them being surprised of Jungkook knowing a sleeping habit of yours. 

Your loud snores shifted into soft purrs. “Let’s wake her up after the movie ends. There’s a few minutes left.” Jimin suggested. Jungkook kept glancing back at Yeri's text. It was just there staring back at him, taunting for a response. He didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to go but he hardly knew Yeri at all. All they did was hookup once and now she’s asking to go out on a date. Okay, so maybe Jungkook wasn’t cool with the idea: He’s a practical guy. He sees himself going out on dates with women he’s physically, emotionally and sexually attracted to. He has to like her looks, like her personality, and see himself sleeping with her at some point. He’s not into wasting his time on just any girl. 

Suddenly, Jungkook remembered his conversation with you on the bus earlier. You apologized to him for liking him. Apologized. As if you liking him was some kind of crime. 

You apologized for not liking the real Jungkook, just the version you liked in your head. It was at that moment that Jungkook thought to himself that your mentality was more mature than it seemed. You gave up on your longtime crush on him and accepted to be friendly with him, even after the messy hookup the two of you shared on Halloween. He thought to himself that if you can give Jungkook another chance of being “friendly roommates” then he can give Yeri a chance of possibly showing a different impression of herself. Jungkook was ready to reply back to Yeri’s proposal. 

jungkook: Okay. When and where?

When he locked his phone after replying, his breath halted at a weird sight in front of him. 

Taehyung wasn’t watching the film on the tv screen anymore. He was watching you sleep. He was watching the way your chest heaved up and down. Taehyung was absorbing the view of you sleeping because it was such a precious sight to him. Seeing you so quiet and away from the world was like a new kryptonite unlocked. 

Jungkook immediately caught on that the way Taehyung was staring wasn’t like his usual self. He knew that this was different. It was as if he didn’t want to believe the sight that was in front of him was real and happening.

Jimin stood up from his chair and stretched big. “Movie’s over, guys. I’m gonna do my skincare routine and then knock.” Jimin’s voice woke you up. “Damn, I was trying hard not to sleep.” You yawned. Taehyung smirked at you. “You were snoring, by the way.” Your eyes widened and you threw your head back out of embarrassment. “Fuck, you guys should’ve woken me up as soon as you heard me snoring. You know snoring is bad, right? I’m basically choking on my spit.” Taehyung chuckled at your dramatic response and reached out his hand for you to grab, to get you up from the chair. 

“Okay, drama queen. Go to your bed. I got to work in a few hours, I need to sleep badly.” Taehyung pulled you up from your chair. You pouted at the nickname he called you. “Fine. Goodnight, boys.” You waved at Jungkook and Taehyung before walking slowly towards your bedroom. It was just the two brothers left.

Jungkook felt uneasy at the moment. He witnessed Taehyung giving you a longing glare as you slept. Taehyung began cleaning up the dishes that were scattered throughout the living room, humming a little song to himself. Jungkook found himself thinking about the way Taehyung looked at you. He can’t seem to think that the way he looked at you was actually sincere; as if it held a meaning to it. With the way Jungkook had studied Taehyung's past history with women, he was feeling a mixture of being bitter and confused. What is it about you that has Taehyung acting not like himself? 

. . .

It was around 5 o’clock in the evening when Jungkook entered the kitchen to grab himself a glass of water. He was dressed and ready to head out to his movie date with Yeri. He wasn’t looking forward to it, as expected, but he didn’t want to flake on Yeri. 

You were completing an assignment on your laptop at the kitchen table as he was getting his water glass. 

“Heading out for the night?” You asked him without looking up from your laptop screen. Jungkook took a large gulp and nodded. “Mhm.”

“Lucky you.” You chuckled. “Are you studying for once?” Jungkook asked. He walked over to take a glance over your screen. You were writing an essay and he saw that you were about 10 pages in. “Wow, ten pages?” 

You nodded and sighed in exhaustion. “Yeah, it’s some dumb critical analysis essay I have to write for my women and gender studies class. It has to be at least 15 pages.” 

Jungkook's eyes widened. “I don’t think I’ve ever written that much before.” 

“Yeah well that’s because you’re a dumb little STEM major. You have to code an entire website and create a whole new periodic element for homework, right?” You joked. Jungkook grabbed your earlobes and lightly pinched it, earning a loud yelp from you. “Shut up, undecided major.” 

You rolled your eyes as a response and reverted back to writing your essay. “So where are you going?” You asked. Jungkook hesitated and thought if it was a good idea to tell you about the date. Not because he thought that you would be sad or anything because according to you, you are “over him”, but because he didn’t want you running off to tell Taehyung and Jimin about the date. Knowing them, they would persuade Jungkook to keep seeing Yeri. 

However, he couldn’t come up with an excuse. “I’m hanging out with some friends from my internship.” He lied. You snorted. “Friends? Since when did you have other friends aside from Yoongi?” You laughed. “You don’t know my personal life.” He defended. “You’re right, I don’t but I know for sure that you’re too much of an antisocial asshole to tolerate having more than one friend. You can barely stand Taehyung and Jimin.”

Jungkook hated knowing that you were right. Maybe you knew him better than he thought. “Are you lying about your whereabouts, Jeon Jungkook?” You turned to face him. With the direct eye contact, Jungkook found himself stuttering and trembling on what to say. He’s a terrible liar. 

“N-No, I’m not. You’re being nosy.” He groaned, chugging down the rest of his water. This caused you to stand up from your chair and you began to face Jungkook directly. “Tell me the truth! Are you going to sell some drugs?”

I wish I was, he thought to himself. “___.” He warned. “Are you going to meet up with someone?” 

Before Jungkook could reply, you noticed something sticking out of the pockets of the puffer jacket he was wearing. Immediately, you snatched the mysterious items out of his pockets and inspected it. 

“___, give me that!” Jungkook snapped, trying to reach over your shoulder to grab them out of your hands but you were able to run away from his reach. 

You glanced over at the two movie tickets in your hands. “You’re going to the movies?” You giggled. 

Jungkook pursed his lips together in annoyance and snatched the tickets out of your hands. “You make it hard for me to be nice to you.” He sighs in frustration. “You have two tickets too, so you’re going to see it with someone.” You teased. “Is it with Yoongi? Does Hoseok know? Hoseok will get sad knowing him. He gets FOMO so easily.”

Jungkook decided to tell the truth since he doesn't know what other lies to say since he knows for sure that you would most likely blab to Hoseok about the movie. “No…I’m going to see it with just a girl I met.” 

Your eyes widened at hearing that. “A-A girl?” You stuttered. “Like a…date?” 

Jungkook nodded. He examined the look on your face however you had an unreadable expression. “Oh geez, sorry about keeping you here then. You should probably head out now, right? Wouldn’t want to keep your date waiting!” You forced a smile on your face and shuffled your way back to your laptop to continue writing your essay. 

Jungkook stood where he was, not knowing what to say or what to do next. Jungkook found himself wanting to stay home and preferring to spend his night sleeping in bed, reading his manga or even continuing to stay in the kitchen with you to bug you some more and chat. However, he knew that you were right. He had to leave soon or else Yeri would be waiting for him for too long. 

“Just don’t tell my brother or Jimin, please. I don’t want them to bug me about it.” Jungkook pleaded. You nodded in agreement. “I understand.” 

Jungkook shuffled his feet and cleared his throat. “Okay, well I’m leaving now.” 

Jungkook was about to leave until he heard you calling his name. “Jungkook!” He slowly reentered the room. 

“Good luck on your date.” You gave him a soft smile. 

Jungkook simply nodded back and left. 

. . .

Jungkook had been gone for over two hours now and you were still stuck on page 10 of your essay. You couldn’t stop thinking about the idea of Jungkook going on a date with someone. It was even harder to swallow the fact that that someone isn’t you. 

You hated to admit it but getting over Jungkook wasn’t going as easy as you thought it would’ve been. Of course you are aware of the fact that Jungkook would never like you back and that you only liked an idealized version of Jungkook, however you still held strong romantic feelings for Jungkook either way. 

The past two hours, you kept comparing yourself to the girl that he went on the date with. Was she prettier? Was she smarter than you? Did they meet through his engineering classes? What does Jungkook like about her? Was he having a good time right now?

Your heart clenched at the possibilities. 

“Hey.” You heard a voice coming from behind. You jumped and turned your head to see Taehyung smiling at you. 

Immediately, you returned a genuine smile back at him. “Hi Tae!” 

“What are you doing?” 

You sighed. “I’m just struggling on this essay. I haven’t written anything.” Taehyung snaked an arm around your shoulder. “Well, when exactly is this essay due?” 

“Tomorrow, I think? I was on a roll but now I’ve lost all my concentration.” You pout. “Hm. Maybe some fresh air will do you some good?” Taehyung suggested. He began to snake both of his arms around you, constricting you in a tight embrace. 

“If I were to agree to go outside, where would I go?” Your voice cracked from Taehyung’s tight hug. “Maybe to walk to that new sushi restaurant that just opened up by our place? With your favorite roommate?” You snorted at him and pushed his arms off of you. “

I guess my mind would appreciate a nice dinner break.” You hummed in pleasure. “Let’s go, then! I’ve been dying to take you ever since they opened last week!” 

You were shocked to hear that. “You were waiting to take me?” Taehyung affirmed by nodding his head. “Oh!” You laughed nervously. “Well, let me go ahead and quickly change into something suitable for our sushi adventure!” 

You ran off to your room and changed out of your comfortable hoodie and sweats and transformed into a nice jean mini skirt, oversized sweater vest and into a pair of black loafers. 

“Honestly, you mentioning sushi has my stomach already growling like crazy.” Taehyung chuckled at you. “Come on, let’s go.” 

As you both walked down the street together, you began to observe the beautiful city that engulfs you. The high-rise apartments, the hustle and bustle of the college town you grew to love living in. Being outside was enough to reduce the inner stress you had going on; the essay, the upcoming exams, and…the unfortunate heartache of Jungkook being on a date with someone. You’ve realized that the feelings you harbor for him were a lot harder to let go than you thought it would’ve. At first when it was just a little highschool crush, you were able to like him from afar. It was more of a physical, vain crush. However, you live with him. You have gotten closer to him in a more intimate way compared to the high school crush. Yes, he’s still an asshole to you. Yes, he’s closed off and doesn’t seem interested in getting to know you past as being his roommate. It hurts. And you’re trying to let go, you really are. What else can you do to help yourself get over him quickly? 

“We’re here.” Taehyung brought you out of your endless thoughts. He held the door open for you as you entered the sushi restaurant. The scent of the raw fish, ramen broth, and cooked rice infiltrate your nostrils. “God, it smells amazing here.” Taehyung chuckled at you admiring the restaurant. “Hopefully the food is just as good.” 

“Hello, for many?” The hostess asked. “For two, please.” Taehyung answered. “Follow me.” 

As the hostess led you and Taehyung to your tables, you hesitantly stared at Taehyung as discreetly as you could. Suddenly, you could hear Hoseok’s voice in your head, remembering all the nonsense he would say to you about Taehyung.

“How haven’t you hooked up with him yet? He’s so good looking!” 

“Taehyung seems to care about you a lot”

“You guys are practically Han and Anna from Frozen; always finishing each other’s sentences and getting excited over the littlest things and you both enjoy each other’s company like crazy.”

And then you remembered what Chaeyoung said from a previous phone call,

“___, you’re telling me that you’re just friends with a beautiful man like that?”

Some of your closest friends kept pushing you to get with Taehyung and you just never saw him that way. But why? They were right; Taehyung is good looking, he does care about you, and you guys get along extremely well together. Did you just not allow yourself to see Taehyung past friends for the sake of your feelings for Jungkook? Admittedly, if you had met Taehyung first, he would be the one high school-you would’ve been crushing over. Taehyung is kind hearted, mature, he is beyond artistically intelligent, he cares for others and financially provides for Jungkook. You looked up to him in so many ways, he inspires you to be a better version of yourself. So, why didn’t you find yourself romantically attracted to Taehyung? 

Taehyung pulled the chair out for you. “Why thank you.” You giggled. “Absolutely.” 

The hostess leaves you both with the silverware and menus. “What sounds good to you?” Taehyung asked as he scanned the menu. 

“You.” You smile.

Taehyung chokes on air. You slightly chuckle at his cute reaction and hide yourself in the menu. “How unexpected of you to say, y/n.” He blushes. “I don’t know where that came from, honestly.” 

“Neither do I.” Taehyung blushes as well. You could feel your chest tighten at the adorable sight of Taehyung looking shy and awkward. “You look cute when you blush.” You admit. You wanted to see him blush harder and so he did. Taehyung bursted out a nervous laugh and pressed his palms against his cheeks. “You’re making my cheeks burn, y/n.” His box-like smile appears. 

“Okay, I’m done..for now.” You give him a reassuring smile and look down at your lap. You honestly don’t know where the sudden flirting came from. You meant in a playful friendly way however you didn’t seem to mind if Taehyung was to take your flirting seriously. Which he didn’t really seem to since he was laughing and smiling along with you. 

The thing with Taehyung was that he had an incredibly comfortable aura to him. You felt safe with him, you felt at ease. Maybe that was something you were looking for in an amicable way? You had your two childhood best friends abroad, living their own lives. Sure, you had Hoseok, however he is a busy individual and is often spending his free time with his boyfriend, as he should. You felt lonely and your heart was yearning for someone to confide in, hang with, be yourself with. Taehyung simply checked all those boxes. For now, you had settled with the fact that Taehyung was who you needed for amicable and sanity reasons. Any other feelings would come naturally if it was meant to be for.

Your server approached you and Taehyung and offered you both water and if you guys were ready to order. After ordering your choice of dishes, you were back in a comfortable silence. “Tell me how your week has been going.” Taehyung asks, taking a sip of his water right after. “Mm…not much honestly. Just been going to classes, studying. Nothing interesting.” 

“What do you mean ‘nothing interesting’, didn’t you have a date earlier this week with that guy from the party?” Taehyung brought up Namjoon. Your face dropped in annoyance at the memory of him ghosting you so suddenly. Especially when he seemed so interested in you from that night. “Let’s just say that the date didn’t happen. He kind of…ghosted me.” You admit, biting your lip from remembering how embarrassing it was. Taehyung’s eyes widened. “He what?” You nodded, validating his disbelief. 

“Yeah, believe me I was in shock too. I have no idea what I did.” Taehyung scoffed at you. “I could bet you a million dollars that it wasn’t anything that you did; it was just Namjoon being the typical frat boy slash fuck boy that he is. He’s a dickhead and I don’t know why I encouraged him to ask you out.” Taehyung spat. “You encouraged it?” You asked in shock. “Yeah, he kept asking Jimin and I if you were single and if it was alright for him to ask you out, since he knew you were our friend.” Taehyung could feel the warmth of anger in his chest as he spilled out what had happened at the party.

You responded with silence. Namjoon’s sudden rejection hurts less now however Taehyung’s anger made you feel slightly guilty. Not because you thought you did anything wrong but because you didn’t want to be a reason as to why Taehyung would hold anger against a good friend of his. Taehyung tried to read your expression. He could tell you had some guilt mixed with embarrassment. “Are you okay?” He asked. He leaned and tried to attempt to reach for your hand but he went against doing so. 

You nodded and tried to give him a reassuring smile. “I’m okay. I was able to get over it well.” Taehyung let out a sigh of relief. “It’s his loss.” 

You chuckled softly at that. “His loss, indeed.” Taehyung leaned back against his chair and was trying to read your expression again. He could tell you didn’t want to continue talking about this and so he changed topics. “Well, are you interested in anyone else?” You choked on a little water and gently coughed. 

“Geez, Tae. Nice change of topics.” You laughed awkwardly. Taehyung shrugged it off and smirked at you. “I’m just in my gossip era.” You rolled your eyes at him and dabbed some water from the corner of your lips with a napkin. “Uh, no. I’m not interested in anyone. I’m trying to enjoy my single life.” You answered. Taehyung could only nod at that. Of course he wasn’t expecting much of an answer from you. He knows you’ve been through a lot with Jungkook and now with Namjoon. He just wanted reassurance that there wasn’t any…competition in his way. 

Actually, he wanted to double check if Jungkook was no longer an option for you. “So…anything going on with you and Jungkook?” He asked again. Your eyes widened at his abrupt question. You didn’t expect him to suddenly mention his brother out of nowhere. “Taehyung..” You started off. He locked his dark brown eyes with yours, not afraid of how intrusive his question was. He was set on trying to get you to see how he feels for you one way or another. 

“Uhm..” You hesitated. “I mean there was always nothing going on between us. However, if you meant to ask about my previous feelings for him then…I don’t think I like him that way anymore. I see him as just an acquaintance and roommate. I’m sure the same goes for him. And…yeah.” You finished. Again, Taehyung was trying to read your expression, your tone, your body language. From the way you didn’t look directly into his eyes when you answered, the way you fiddled with your fingers, the way you chewed on your bottom lip when you were thinking of your response, and the way your voice sounded defeated, as if you had lost something you didn’t want to lose, was enough for Taehyung to know the true answer lying underneath your surface.

You were lying. 

You still harbored feelings for his brother. You don’t see him as just an acquaintance and roommate. He doesn’t know what you see Jungkook as but it is certainly not as platonic as you’re making it seem. He could feel his chest throb in pain slightly at the realization. Taehyung had no idea if Jungkook’s feelings towards you were mutual or not because he never seemed to care to notice or study the way Jungkook was around you. He was certain that Jungkook most likely saw you in a platonic way. From what he knows of, the two of you don’t spend a lot of time together. Nor do you both talk to each other one-on-one a lot. Taehyung thinks that the kind of relationship you and Jungkook have is currently a contractual mutualistic relationship: you guys are supposed to just put up with each other’s antics and that was that. 

“I see.” He forced a smile onto his face. “Are you comfortable living with us three guys still?” You laughed at his question and nodded. “Of course. I love you guys.” 

Taehyung leaned forward to you again and this time, he actually reached his hand out to yours. You gladly gave your hand to him to hold. “I couldn’t have chosen a better roommate to deal with our bullshit. We love you too, y/n.” Your heart glowed at Taehyung’s sentimental confession. “Awe, Tae..” You cooed softly. 

“Okay, I have one family-sized sushi boat and your sides for the lovely couple here.” Your server interrupted and placed a large wooden boat of the gorgeous raw fish onto your table. You and Taehyung gave each other a look and snorted at the ‘couple’ remark. However, you indirectly agreed to go along with it. You figured that couples usually receive free dessert at the end of the dinner either way. “Let’s dig in, shall we?” You eagerly smiled at Taehyung. He returned the gleeful expression and the two of you pigged out together. 

. . .

How can a 115-minute movie suddenly feel like an eight hour shift? 

Jungkook was feeling incredibly bored out of his mind as he watched the sci-fi movie that Yeri had picked out for them. He looked over at you and could tell that she was very into the movie. Her eyes were locked onto the film and was mindlessly chomping down the bucket of popcorn she was hoarding. Jungkook wanted to melt like the butter on the popcorn and slither his ass out of the theater. 

He would rather spend 115 minutes walking barefoot on the asphalt in the middle of the summer than be here on this date he didn’t want to go on. Jungkook had tried to give Yeri a chance to redeem herself but she just wasn’t…interesting. Nothing about her was intriguing to Jungkook. He asked her questions to attempt to get to know her. She’s in college studying to be an actress, she’s a part time pilates instructor at a nearby gym, she’s also a full-time content creator on YouTube and likes to make makeup tutorials and skincare videos. She likes horror and sci-fi movies but Jungkook prefers rom-coms. She likes to spend her free time outside in the city and bar hopping with friends, meanwhile Jungkook prefers staying in and isolating himself in his room. She doesn’t like to fraternize with anyone that isn’t wealthy, socially popular, good-looking, or just anyone that isn’t similar to her lifestyle and interests. She’s shallow and vain and Jungkook wasn’t vibing with that. 

When Yeri told him about her close friend circle, it raised a huge red flag for Jungkook. He was familiar with her groupie. They were all influencers that posted beauty and fashion content, only dating within their wealth level and socialite class. They would still talk bad about other students on campus as if they were still stuck in their high school bully era. After getting to know all this about Yeri, Jungkook was quite ready to ghost her as soon as the movie ended. 

All of a sudden, a jumpscare happened on the screen, causing half of the theater to scream and throw their popcorn in the air. Yeri was one of the few who screamed and instinctually clenched her arms around Jungkook’s. 

“That was so scary, Jungkook.” Yeri pouted and buried her head into his arms. Jungkook responded by rolling his eyes but didn’t mind letting Yeri borrow his arms for a bit. He looked around the theater to see what appeared to be other dates, and the women were grabbing onto their dates like Yeri was. He grew to be even more annoyed with Yeri. He didn’t like how typical she was. She was like every other girl. Nothing special about her. It’s harsh but true, according to Jungkook. 

He suddenly found himself comparing Yeri to you. Would you react the same way Yeri did? Would you hold onto him during a scary scene? Jungkook can confidently say that the answer was no. 

You wouldn’t react the same way. You wouldn’t hold onto him. No, you would be asleep halfway through the movie and the jumpscare would awaken you from your slumber, and you would jump and scream obnoxiously. You would spill whatever food was on your lap and you would most likely run away from the room. Had you been watching the movie in the comfort of your apartment, instead of running away from the room you would just turn the movie off and change the mood by making an unfunny joke to ease up the tension. That’s what you would do. And for some reason, Jungkook found himself smiling and quietly laughing at the imagination he created in his head. 

Yeri could hear Jungkook chuckling to himself and gave him a concerned look. “Jungkook? Why are you laughing? The main character’s best friend just died?” 

Jungkook immediately shut up and cleared his throat. “I just thought of something funny.” He answered. Yeri curled an eyebrow up. “What were you thinking about?” She whispered. Jungkook shook his head. “It’s nothing. It’s just that this scene reminded me of an inside joke between me and a friend.” He lied. Yeri just nodded understandably and refocused her attention back to the movie. 

Jungkook allowed another smile and a snort to escape from his lips before making himself regain his attention back to the “heartbreaking” scene of the death of the best friend. 

. . .

“I had fun tonight, Jungkook.” Yeri shyly smiles at him. Jungkook forced a smile onto his face. “I’m glad. I had fun too.” He lies. “Thank you for walking me home.” She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. “Not a problem.” He replies dryly. Yeri stops at a large modern looking building. “This is my dorm building.” Jungkook nods in response. “Goodnight, Kook.” Jungkook tried his hardest not to physically cringe at the nickname she decided to give him. He managed to wave at her. “Goodnight, Yeri.” He began to turn around to walk to his apartment but Yeri called out to him and ran to grab his jacket. “Wait,” 

“Hm?” 

“Do you want to do this again sometime soon? Maybe next week?” She bit her lower lip in anticipation. Jungkook could see a shimmer of hope and a dash of nervousness in her eyes. He genuinely did not know what Yeri saw him and why she still wanted to continue seeing him. He tried his hardest to remain stoic and dry with her to show his lack of interest but she wasn’t getting the hint. He tried to think of a good response that will give a hint of rejection without straight up saying so. 

“I’ll see. I have a lot of exams coming up so I’ll let you know when is a good time to meet up again.” Jungkook answered. Yeri remained quiet for a moment before nodding in agreement. “Okay, sure! Text me when you make it home safely!” She waved at him. Jungkook smirked. “I only live about five minutes walking distance from here. I’ll be okay.” 

Yeri chuckled, “Alright, fine. But let me know when you’re free again!” She reminded him. Jungkook simply nodded and began to trail away from Yeri. “Bye Jungkook!” She unnecessarily yelled out. He was only a few feet away. He gave an awkward smile and waved back at her, and began to speed walk. 

His speed walking shortened the walking distance by half and he was able to make it home comfortably. He entered the apartment and was met with the sound of laughter and the smell of alcohol. He took off his shoes, slid his feet into his house slippers and headed into the living room. He saw you, Taehyung, and Jimin sitting in a circle. It seemed as if the three of you were just talking and spending time together. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of FOMO. He would much rather have spent his night like this than be out on a date with a random girl.

“Hey, Kook is home! Where were you tonight, young man?” Taehyung slurred. “Uh, I was just out with Yoongi.” He chuckled nervously. He shared a quick glance with you, and you gave him a reassured look; a look that said he was okay and that no one knew of the date. 

“You need to stop hanging out with Yoongi and hang out more with your brothers and y/n.” Jimin slurred out, taking a quick swig of soju. Jungkook shared another glance with you. He looked confused. “Why are they drinking?” He asked. “Jimin begged Taehyung to share a drink with him and well…one drink turned into many. I’ve just been here giving them company.” 

“Jungkook! Come have a shot of soju with us!” Jimin patted on the ground for him to sit. “Uh, I think I’m just going to call it a night. I’ve had a long da-,” Jungkook got interrupted by Taehyung’s loud groan. “Oh my god, we don’t care, come over and sit with us now.” 

Jungkook squinted his eyes at his brother in annoyance. You stifled back a laugh at this interaction. “You’re taking a shot with us too, miss y/n.” Taehyung targeted you. You gave him the exact same annoyed look that Jungkook had given him. Regardless, Jungkook listened to his two seniors and sat where Jimin had patted him to sit in. He sat between you and Jimin. 

You scooted your body away from Jungkook little by little. “Now, take a shot.” Jimin slammed the shot glass onto the coffee table. “Here’s your shot glass too, y/n.” Jimin handed yours. Taehyung administered the pouring of the shots to you and Jungkook. You both turned to each other hesitantly. “I just wanted to give them company.” you whispered to Jungkook. “And I just wanted to go to bed.” He whispered back. “I’ll take my shot if you take yours.” You suggested. Jungkook just sighed in response. “There’s no such thing as saying no to these two.” He groaned. You both tapped your shot glasses onto the table and then threw the alcohol down your throats, earning a loud sound of approval from the two best friends. 

“Let’s go! All of the roomies are getting fucked up tonight!” Jimin yelled. “Uh, I’m just going to take this one shot with you guys. I still have that paper to write and I have class tomorrow morning.” You halted the two boys from encouraging drunkenness from you. 

“Me too. I have an eight AM class.” Jungkook added. Jimin rolled his eyes at you both and some fingers through his dark locks. “You goddamn scholars.” He cursed under his breath. “Do you work tomorrow?” You asked Taehyung. “Nope. I’m off from work and I have a late afternoon class so I get to sleep in!” He and Jimin dapped each other up, earning a scoff from Jungkook. 

“Hey, by the way, where were you guys earlier today? I came home and the apartment was silent.” Jimin asked you and Taehyung. “Oh, Tae took me out to try the new sushi place that opened up in town! You guys seriously should go sometime soon, it was so delicious.” You were bouncing in excitement as you bragged about the restaurant. “Oh, and if you want free dessert, you should go with a girl. Our server thought that ___ and I were a couple and they gave us a slice of tiramisu cake.” Taehyung looked over at you and you both laughed at the memory. 

Jungkook darted his eyes between you and his brother. “He thought that you both were a couple?” Jimin repeated back, laughing along. “I know right.” You cackled. Jungkook remained silent as three of you guys laughed. He began to glance at the way Taehyung looked at you. Lately, he has been picking up way too many weird signs from Taehyung when it comes to you. 

Logically, if Jungkook could sense that his brother was acting differently around a certain girl then he would conclude that he is interested in her but Jungkook couldn’t wrap his head around the idea of Taehyung being interested in you. Not that there was anything wrong with you, it was just that he didn’t think of you being the type to sway Taehyung. Jungkook simply thought you two were not romantically compatible. Jungkook may not know you that well but he certainly knows his brother. 

“Taehyung, let’s go take a smoke outside real quick.” Jimin stands up from the floor and massages his butt. “Fuck, my ass is so sore.” He mumbled. Taehyung got up and was beginning to follow Jimin from behind until he took a quick glance at you and Jungkook sitting together. He felt a small ache in his chest from the thought of leaving you two alone. Especially with him knowing that you very much still had some feelings left for Jungkook. They’ll be alright. 

Taehyung and Jimin go out to the balcony and shut the door behind them. “Since when did Taehyung smoke?” You ask Jungkook. “He occasionally smokes whenever he’s drunk. But I’ve seen him smoke out of stress too. He just does it when he feels like it.” 

“Ah, I see. I’m kinda like that too.” You chuckle. Jungkook snapped his head towards you and gaped his mouth open in surprise. “I wouldn’t take you as the type to smoke.” He curled his lips up at your confession. “It’s my little personal secret. I’ve been smoking since I was 16.” 

Intrigued by this, Jungkook leans his body back, using his wrists to hold him up. “Now what caused 16-year old you to pick up cigarettes?” 

You smirked at him. “My parents were going through a rough patch together. They were literally on the brink of divorce and kept dragging me into their problems. It was way too much stress for me to harbor as a high schooler that was also dealing with pounds of homework and exams every week. Luckily, they were able to work things out because they went to counseling but as of today, I like to puff puff a little bit sometimes to relieve some stress.” 

Jungkook nodded understandably. He had no idea that you had gone through some family hardships as well. “I see,” 

“So I’m the only one that knows this secret of yours?” You nodded. A part of him was a little pleased that he was the only one who knew.  

“I’ve never tried it before.” He says out of the blue. The two of you shared eye contact at that. You were quizzically checking him out, wondering if he was hinting something. “Well, I suggest you not to do it. Once you try it a few times, there’s no going back.” 

Jungkook had an idea but it was an extremely bizarre one. He didn’t know where the idea came from or why it was created. But he was amused at the thought of it and didn’t mind encouraging the idea to blossom. “You could do it with me. Just once wouldn’t hurt.” He suggested but it came out more as a question.

Your eyes popped open. “What?” 

Bashfully, Jungkook looked away. “Nevermind.” 

“Wait, no! I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just surprised that you would consider doing it with me. I mean…”

Jungkook made eye contact with you again. “If I was to try a cigarette for the first time, you’re one of the people I’d be okay with trying it with. I’d be okay if I was to do it with Jimin or Taehyung too. You’re my roommate, so I kind of trust you too.” 

You nervously looked away and had to release an exhale that was being clogged inside of you. “Oh, sure! Of course, I get it. I trust you three as well.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. By Jungkook admitting that he would want to experience something, anything with you meant that he was admitting that he felt comfortable with you. That he trusted you. Despite your history together, you didn’t think that Jungkook would carry intimate feelings of trust and comfort around you. Was it because he sees you as more than “just a roommate”? He sees you as something more? Like a friend? 

“Let me know when you would want to do so.” You said. Jungkook nodded. “Sure.” A slight comfortable silence fell upon you two. “Do you want to take another shot?” You asked. Jungkook thought about it before he agreed. “It’s not like they’ll know we took another one.” 

“But this is actually my last one. After four or five shots, I’m done.” You warned. “Four or five? You’re such a lightweight.” Jungkook teased. “How many shots does it take for you to get wasted?” 

Jungkook calculated in his head for a moment. Taehyung used to throw parties whenever their parents were out of town back when he was in eighth grade so they’ve both had a bit of experience with alcohol. “I’d say around ten is when I’m beginning to feel a buzz.” Your mouth dropped. “Ten? For a buzz? That’s borderline alcoholic.” Jungkook smirked at that. “Yeah, well when you’ve been drinking for as long as Taehyung and I have then you’d know.” “Well then tell me how long you’ve both been drinking for.” 

“Since I was thirteen. For Taehyung, since he was fifteen.” 

“Thirteen? Fifteen? That’s insane.” 

He shrugged. “Well, our parents were barely around to notice. If they were around, I doubt that they’d care.” You gave him a sympathetic smile. “Also, we went to a rich private school so a bunch of kids like us began drinking at an early age. It was the privilege and the fact that almost all of our parents were wealthy assholes that didn’t give a fuck about us.” You groaned at Jungkook. “You’re being such a downer. You’re making me sad.” You whined. Jungkook let out a chuckle and ran fingers through his hair. “Alright, I’ll stop ambushing you with my depressive lore.” You both laughed together. 

You liked this. You liked being able to be civil with Jungkook and laugh about things together. You liked whatever kind of moment was happening between you both. 

You hesitated on whether or not you should bring up his date. You didn’t want him seeing that you cared to know about every single detail that happened tonight and you didn’t want him seeing that you were a little bit jealous too. 

Suddenly, Jungkook’s phone buzzed. He reached his hand into his pockets and brought the phone out. It was an Instagram notification from Yeri’s account. He clicked on the notification and saw that she had tagged Jungkook onto her story and posted a picture of their two drinks and the singular bucket of popcorn and she had captioned it with a heart. 

Jungkook let out the most irritated groan of his life. How did she even find his Instagram account? He never followed her and she never followed him? His username was very discreet, it did not explicitly say his name. It was actually an extremely long username: @abcdefghi__lmnopqrstuvwxyz.

“What’s wrong?” You asked as you finally took your second shot. “Nothing.” He mumbled. “What? Tell me.” You edged. 

Jungkook debated on telling you. He didn’t know if you would be a good confidante for this certain situation for many obvious reasons. However, you both agreed to remain just friends right? A civil relationship with each other? Once he had decided on telling you, the patio door opened and Jimin and Taehyung stumbled back inside the living room. 

He gave you an apologetic look. Maybe you didn’t need to know and it was the universe telling him so. 

Taehyung took a quick glance at you. You looked annoyed. Not at Jungkook, not at Jimin, and not at himself. It seemed as if you were annoyed with yourself. You were looking down at the ground and picking at the rug on the floor. “Are you okay?” Taehyung asked, placing a hand on your knee. 

Jungkook and Jimin peer over at this, with Jimin smirking to himself and Jungkook keeping his eyes glued to his brother’s hand. You fixed Taehyung with a brief smile and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just going to call it a night, I’m getting tired.” You fake-yawn. Taehyung nodded understandably and withdrew his hand from your knee. You get up and stretch. “Goodnight guys.” You wave to the three roommates and begin to drag yourself to your bedroom. 

Jungkook watches you as you disappear into the doors of your room. He could tell that you weren’t being truthful with the way you quickly came up with an excuse. You didn’t appear to be sleepy a minute ago. He didn’t want to stay and hang out with Jimin and Taehyung alone for the rest of the night. He knew that they would pressure him to drink more and he would eventually oversleep his classes, his job, and it was also a weekday. There was no need to be drunk this early into the week. “Be right back.” He muttered to Jimin and Taehyung. Jimin watched Jungkook leaving. He didn’t think too much into it. He turned his attention to Taehyung.

“I saw you placing your hand on ___’s knee earlier.” He cheesed. Taehyung groaned a jumble of words that Jimin couldn’t comprehend for the life of him. “I didn’t understand a single word you just said.” Jimin laughed. “Sorry, it’s just all those shots we took back to back that are catching up to me now. Everything’s spinning. All I can think about is ___. Where is she? Is she here? Does she know?” Taehyung rubbed his hands all over his face as an attempt to get himself together. 

Jimin laughed even harder. “You’re a mess. She’s not here, it’s just you and me. Keep your voice down.” He chuckled. “Since when did your tolerance get better than mines? Fuck, I’m so out of it.” Taehyung groaned even louder. “Where did Jungkook go?” Taehyung asked. Jimin looked towards his bedroom door, which was where he assumed Jungkook went. “Probably went to bed. He said he’d be right back but you know he didn’t want to hang. He’s spiritually an old man.” 

“Does ___ know?” Taehyung mumbles again. “Know about what?” Jimin scooted closer to him. 

Jungkook opened the door of his bedroom and was heading towards the bathroom until he heard Taehyung’s constant repetition of “does ___ know?”. He stopped in his tracks, and stood right outside of the bathroom door. There was a wall blocking and separating the living room from the hallway that contains the bathroom and the bedrooms, therefore Jungkook couldn’t be seen from where he was. 

“Just say yes or no, Jimin.” “Taehyung, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Be specific.” 

Taehyung let out an irritated groan. “About you-know-what. About me. About me and her.” 

Jimin shushed him, in case either Jungkook or you could hear. “No, man. No one knows except me. I’m the only one. No one will ever know between us two.” 

Taehyung’s drunken eyes looked up to meet with Jimin’s exasperated expression. “You promise?” He slurred. “I promise.” Taehyung smiled in satisfaction. “I’m sorry for being a mess right now.” 

Jimin snorted. “You’re always a mess.” “Says the one who is a college dropout and is crashing at their best friend’s place.” The two of them laughed together. Jungkook remained where he was, in confusion. What was Taehyung talking about? What was going on between you and him that you didn’t know about? That he didn't know about? 

“Should we go to bed?” Jungkook heard Jimin asking Taehyung. Without hesitation or thinking, Jungkook ran back to his bedroom, no longer needing to urinate. He heard the shuffling of their feets dragging on the floor. Jimin put Taehyung to sleep and walked back to the living room.

. . .

It was a week into Christmas break when Taehyung had the idea for the group to go ice skating. “The place is open until 10. We can get food from the convenience store afterwards. Come on, it’s only 6:30, we have time to get ready!” He eagerly said. You sipped your peppermint tea and thought about it. “I mean, I haven’t properly enjoyed myself ever since the semester ended. I’ve been rotting in bed ever since I submitted my last final. I’m down!” You agreed.

Taehyung smiled at you and then turned his head towards Jimin and Jungkook. “I’m down too. I have nothing better to do tonight.” Jimin said. “Why is it that it’s down to you for the last vote? Why do you always have to be such a grandpa?” Taehyung pestered his brother. Jungkook couldn’t hide the smile that crept to his face. “This grandpa was planning to go on a jog before dinner and bed.” He ran a finger through his now silky dark brown hair. He dyed it dark brown last week after feeling like he needed a change with his appearance. 

“Well now you can spend it with ice skating instead. Come on, you can even bring Yeri with you! You two have been inseparable ever since she came over for our Thanksgiving dinner.” 

You couldn’t help but to shudder at the mention of her name. You didn’t expect for Jungkook to continue dating her after the movie date but he is. She’s been coming over to the apartment almost every single day. Your bedroom was right next door to Jungkook’s and you could hear her giggles, their conversations, their snores when they slept. It was as if you were given a sneak peek as to what hell must feel like. 

Jungkook looked down at his phone and opened his text messages with Yeri. She had been begging to hangout today and do something. She was texting him nonstop and kept mentioning how bored she was and how she missed him as if they didn’t see each other less than 24 hours ago. Having a girl like Yeri by his side was tiresome. He knew that he'd rather go ice-skating and bring Yeri than have to hear her blowing up his phone with whines and complaints of wanting to do something throughout his peaceful jog, his peaceful dinner, and his peaceful bedtime. 

“Sure.” He said. Taehyung smiled, in shock seeing that he actually agreed. He thought that having Yeri in his life was causing him to become more social. “Let’s leave around 7.” 

Jimin immediately got up to get ready with you following behind. Taehyung looked at Jungkook and smirked. “I see Yeri has your shell opening up. I like that.” Jungkook rolled his eyes. “She isn’t opening my shell. I just feel like ice-skating.” Taehyung shrugged. “You’re still going out more ever since you started dating her.” 

Jungkook didn’t care to explain anything to him. He doesn’t know what goes on in his mind and what goes on between him and Yeri. He doesn’t need to know that they only have a sexual relationship and that Jungkook doesn’t harbor an ounce of romantic feelings towards her. He doesn’t need to know that Yeri is in a one-sided situationship with him. Taehyung doesn’t need to know anything. 

“If you think so.” He bites the inside of his cheek and stands up. “I’m gonna get ready.” He walks past Taehyung and texts Yeri to get ready. 

Why do I feel like I will never be able to understand him, Taehyung thinks.

. . .

You fell on your ass for what felt like the fiftieth time. “I can’t fucking skate!” You cried out, holding back a laugh. Jimin skated towards you and reached his hands out to pick you up. “Why do you keep falling? Stop embarrassing us.” Jimin teased, causing your laugh to burst out of you. “I’m trying!” 

You were having a great time. Seeing families, friends, couples being together made you sonder with happiness. Something about being able to be silly and kid-like without embarrassment made yourself feel as if you were on cloud nine. 

You attempted to continue skating after Jimin had helped you get up. Each time you attempted, it got easier for you. You didn’t mind falling, you liked the “trial and error”-ness. You looked ahead and saw Jimin and Taehyung holding hands and skating together. You giggled at them. Seeing the two having fun together made you miss Jihyo and Chaeyoung. Every winter break, the three of you would ice skate, sled, drink hot chocolates, bake cookies together, and rewatch all your favorite holiday movies. You spent more than half of your life with them and this was the longest you have been apart and with minimal contact too with the time difference and busyness. 

You knew that Chaeyoung was coming home in less than two days and Jihyo would arrive the day after to spend Christmas with their families. No plans were fully confirmed since they would also be busy during their holiday break with their family. Your prior blissful mood transitioned into disappointment. 

You decided to attempt to catch up with Jimin and Taehyung to get your mind off of your dear friends. You attempted to skate faster and successfully did so. 

Taehyung felt you bump against his back. “___!” He reached an arm backward to pull you from his behind and place you next to him. “You got better at skating.” He complimented. “I think I got the hang of it this time. I always remember during the season but then once winter is over, it’s like I get rusty for a bit.” Taehyung nodded understandably. 

You heard a loud giggle coming from behind you. You turned to check quickly but was met with the sight of Yeri and Jungkook skating together. He was holding her hand to keep her steady but her legs were wobbling like crazy. “I can’t do it, Kookie!” She yelped out. You internally cringed at the nickname she gave him. You also internally winced at the inevitable heartache seeing him like that. Seemingly happy with the small smile that curled up on his usual inexpressible face. 

He looked happy. He looked like he was enjoying himself for once. You studied his smile to question whether it was genuine or not. You felt terrible wishing for the latter. He deserved happiness. He deserved to be with someone that made him feel out of the world. He deserved good things and good people in his life, despite all the shit he emotionally burdened you with. 

You hoped that his relationship with Yeri would eventually cure you with the hopeless crush you still held onto him. You forced yourself to look away after what felt like an eternity watching them. 

What you didn’t notice was that Taehyung was watching you watching them. He noticed the hurt that was gleaming in your eyes. The yearning, the pain was written all over you. He was so pleased with Jungkook putting himself out there that he forgot to take account of your feelings towards them. He didn’t want your mood to be sour for the rest of the night, he wanted you to have fun. He wanted to see you happy. 

“Hey you.” Taehyung nudged. You looked up to meet his eyes. “Wanna race?” He suggested, raising his brows. You smiled and nodded. “From where to where?”

Taehyung hummed, calculating where to end. “Let’s stop at the exit door. Loser buys the winner hot chocolate.” He pointed at the hot chocolate stand that was just outside of the rink. “On the count of three.” You say. 

“One,” You start

“Two,” Taehyung continues

“Three” You shout. Taehyung is already speeding ahead of you, causing you to shout curse words at him. He laughed and looked behind to see you failing to catch up. 

“Is that Taehyung and your roommate racing each other?” Yeri asked Jungkook. Jungkook turned his head to where he could hear the commotion going on between you two. You had a beaming grin on your face and was attempting to pull Taehyung backwards to make him lose the race. Taehyung’s box-shaped grin was plastered onto his face and he was giggling non-stop. “___, you’re cheating!” He laughed hard. 

Jungkook couldn’t look away. He didn’t know why or what was making him not want to look away but he felt as if his eyes were glued onto you and Taehyung. He felt that same uncomfortable feeling washing through him. He felt a knot forming in his stomach and a sense of unease at the same time. Jungkook couldn’t comprehend for the life of him as to why he couldn't shake the unexpected pang of–whatever it was that he was feeling– away. 

Yeri eyed Jungkook as he watched you and Taehyung racing. She noticed the way his jaw was slightly clenched and the way his hand that was gripping onto her arm to help her skate was tightening around her. “Jungkook?” She nudged him. His attention resumed back to her. He tried his best to give her a smile. “Hm?” He said. 

“You okay?” She asked. “Yeah, I was just looking at them racing. Seems silly to race on ice. They could get hurt.” He lied. She only nodded, not knowing what else to say. She looked over at you and Taehyung again and caught sight of you both already off the rink, and were removing your skates. 

Taehyung reached for your hand and dragged you to the hot chocolate and pastry stand that was outside of the rink. 

“Don’t you think they could be cute together?” Yeri asked Jungkook with a playful smile on her face. Jungkook couldn’t help but to scoff out loud at that. “She’s not Taehyung’s type.” He clarified. Yeri gave him a confused glare. “What do you mean? She’s pretty. And they seem to get along well.” Yeri explained. She studied his face again but she couldn’t make anything out of it. It seemed as if he was in deep thought yet at the same time it looked like he didn’t care about the topic. His stare was completely blank yet it could be interpreted in many different ways. 

“You don’t know Taehyung like I do.” He defended. Yeri decided to leave the conversation at that. “Wanna get hot chocolate too?” She asked, looking at him with pleading eyes. Jungkook shook his head. “Not in the mood.” He said dryly. 

He felt bad being suddenly passive-aggressive towards her. He didn’t understand why he was being like this either. “Let’s sit for a bit.” He began to hold Yeri’s hand and pulled her to the benches. 

Yeri begins to scroll on her phone meanwhile Jungkook’s eyes automatically drag itself to observe you and Taehyung again. The two of you were sitting on a bench across from them. You were showing him something on your phone. Whatever it was that you were showing, he was laughing at it. His laugh was contagious and it made you laugh harder. “I was dying at that video for a good hour yesterday.” You breathed out, trying to catch your breath. “Send that to me, send that to me.” Taehyung said. 

Jungkook didn’t miss that Taehyung was slowly attempting to scoot closer to you, to the point where your left knee and his right knee were practically touching and your shoulders were a good millimeter apart. “Oo, let’s take a picture to post on my story!” You squealed. You hold your phone out and Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to close the minimal space that was between. He presses his cheek against yours and poses with his eyes squeezed shut and a peace sign held next to the other cheek.

You beam at him and post the story. “You look so cute!” You squeal again. Jungkook couldn't help but to laugh to himself at the sight that was in front of him. He was in denial for the longest but he admits now that Taehyung was indeed attempting to flirt with you. He knows his flirtatious tricks and anyone with a human brain can comprehend that he is blatantly flirting with you. He knows you’re too oblivious to this because you are an oblivious person in general. Jungkook knows you’re too naive to understand that Taehyung was being a little too touchy for someone he considers to be “just a friend”. 

Just because Taehyung was flirting with you doesn’t confirm that he’s doing it out of a genuine romantic interest, Jungkook thinks. It could be because he is simply in a flirty mood or maybe he just wants to see if you would fold for him like how other girls do. That's what the old player Taehyung would do. 

Jimin interrupts Jungkook’s thoughts and plops down next to him. “Are you ready to go? I’m starving.” Jimin sighed out. He reeked of cigarettes. “You’re smoking too often.” Jungkook lectured him. “I got nothing better to do with myself. I’m in my flop era or whatever the kids say these days.” He runs a finger through his hair. Jungkook chuckled at him. “I think you’re doing whatever you can to cope.” Jungkook comforts. “I’m ready if they’re ready.” Jungkook nudges his chin toward you and Taehyung that were still in the middle of a deep conversation, probably not even noticing Jimin and Jungkook right in front of them. 

Jimin chuckles and sighs in amusement. “They’re so silly together.” Jimin mumbles under his breath but Jungkook picks it up. Jimin searches for a piece of gum in his pockets. He shoves a piece into his mouth and throws the wrapper to Taehyung’s head, getting your attention. “Let’s go eat.” Jimin shouts. Taehyung looks at you, inverbally asking if you are good to go. You nod in agreement. “Convenience store right?” Taehyung confirms.

“Yes!” Jimin jumps. Yeri checks out Jimin walking towards you and starts to poke your body, just to tease you. Taehyung joins along and starts to pull onto some strands of your hair. You attempt to shove the boys off and fall into a fit of laughter. Yeri couldn’t help but feel jealous seeing how well you got along with them. Yeri was aware that Jimin and Taehyung were extremely close to Jungkook and desperately wanted to get close with them, as a way to make herself feel accepted into his circle. 

The three of you were already walking ahead, leaving you and Jungkook behind. Jungkook was just staring at the bench where you and Taehyung were sitting a second ago. “Let’s go, Kookie.” Yeri nudges him. He simply nods and stands up. “Sure.” He walks ahead, leaving Yeri alone. 

She grew irritated with Jungkook. A while ago, Jungkook was being gentlemanly with her and was seemingly having a good time with her. She doesn’t understand what suddenly went wrong with him for him to be so cold and distant now.

Jungkook stops in his tracks and turns behind to see why Yeri wasn’t following him yet. “What’s wrong?” He asked. She shakes her head, not wanting to bring it up. “Nothing.” She gets up from the bench and catches up with him. 

The rest of the night was spent with a brief convenience store run, a brief ‘dinner’ together inside of the apartment, and a brief conversation before everyone went to bed for the night. 

. . .

“Are you sure you don’t wanna spend Christmas and New Year’ with us, ___?” Taehyung asked for the millionth time. You nodded. “I’m very sure, Tae. I’ll be okay. I’ll make sure to enjoy my week alone.” You reassured. Taehyung clenched his jaw, feeling hurt that you were going to spend the holidays alone. Your parents went on vacation in Bali, wanting to spend the holidays with just them two. 

You and your parents were never that close when it came to quality time. They were supportive, attentive and loving parents but when it came to family-bonding quality time, it was practically nonexistent. It was what you grew up with. This was the norm for you. It was disappointing, of course, but that’s how it was. 

Jihyo suddenly came down with a terrible cold and was unable to come down and spend the week with you and Chaeyoung’s family dragged her down to Busan to spend the holidays with her grandparents. To be honest, you were kind of expecting her to offer you to spend the week with her and her family since they know you well and love you but she didn’t. Maybe it wasn’t on her mind and you didn’t want to burden her to make her feel as if she had to ask and invite you.

It was Christmas Eve and Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin were on the way back home to Busan to spend their holidays with their family–Jimin spending it with the brothers’ family. Although Jungkook didn’t verbally express it, he too felt bad leaving you alone for the holidays. He didn’t know much about how your family functioned but he was curious as to why you weren’t going to be spending it with them. 

Jimin gave you a pitiful look and hugged you. “Okay, well we should be leaving now. Our bus departs in 30 minutes.” Jimin said. You hugged him and chuckled. “Go on then! Let me know when you guys make it safely! I’ll be sure to update you guys on what I’ll be up to so you guys won’t be too worried.” You pulled away and nodded. Taehyung didn’t say anything but gave you a forced tight-lipped smile. “Alright. Merry Christmas, ___.” Taehyung walked over and hugged you tightly. You returned the tightness. “Merry Christmas.” You whispered. 

After Taehyung finally pulled away, you glanced over to Jungkook. He was glaring at you back. You weren’t able to understand the look on his face but you could swear it seemed as if he too had a look of pity. “Merry Christmas, Jungkook.” You said. You didn’t know if Jungkook wanted a hug from you as well so you decided to just wave. 

“Merry Christmas.” He replied, holding a hand up. After a slightly uncomfortable silence, Jimin goes ahead to open the front door and heads out first. Taehyung gives you a final smile before he follows behind. Jungkooks remains where he was for a little bit. 

“Let me know if you need anything.” He gives an actual wave and exits. He closes the door slowly and softly. 

You were now finally left alone for the entire week and you had no idea what to do now. The void of being alone hasn’t hit you yet and you hope it doesn’t ever or else you would end up crying yourself to sleep. 

. . .

“Boys, over here!” Jungkook heard his mother calling out to him. His mother and Taehyung’s father were standing next to their large black SUV, waving at them. “We’re home, Kook.” Taehyung mumbled sarcastically to him. Jungkook smirked, shaking his head at him. “So glad.” He replied back. 

Jimin ran up to their parents and hugged them. “It’s been so long, Mom and Dad!” Jimin cheered. He liked to call their parents mother and father since they practically raised Jimin along with Jungkook and Taehyung. 

“Oh, Jimin! You get so handsome every time I see you!” Jungkook’s mom pinches his cheeks. 

Taehyung’s father pulls Taehyung in for a hug and pats his back. “My son, welcome home.” He smiles. Taehyung fakes a smile back. “Missed you, dad.” 

After greeting Jimin, Jungkook’s mom pulls him in for a hug and kisses his forehead. “How have you been, my son?” She grins at him. Jungkook thinks to himself that being away from college has made his mother and Taehyung’s father extra affectionate with them. “I’ve been good. How have you been taking care of yourself?” He asks. She shrugs. “I’ve been picking up on yoga and pilates. It’s been relaxing me from my usual heavy workload.” She smiles. 

Jungkook noticed that there wasn’t a driver to pick them up like usual. Everyday, on his commute to school or anywhere else, he would have a driver to drop him off and pick him up. “No driver today?” Jungkook asked his parents. Taehyung’s father shook his head. “We both had the afternoon off and decided to get you guys ourselves.” He smiled. 

Jungkook and Taehyung looked at each other in surprise. “I see.” Taehyung said. “Come, let’s go have lunch.” Jungkook’s mother held onto him and pulled him to the car. Jungkook certainly wasn’t used to the sudden physical touch his mother was giving him and the sudden quality time as well. 

. . .

It was now dinnertime and Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin, and their parents were all sitting at the table together. 

“Tell me about your living situation. Are you guys enjoying living together?” Jungkook’s mom asked Jungkook and Taehyung. Taehyung nodded. “Yea, I’ve trained Jungkook well. He cleans up after himself, he’s a great cook, and he likes to hang out with me and Jimin whenever he isn’t busy.” 

Jungkook’s mom darts her eyes between the three. “Jimin?” She asks. “Mhm. Jimin is living with us for the time being.” Taehyung clarifies. Jungkook’s mom mouth gapes open and turns her attention to Jimin. “Oh really? Jimin, what happened to your schooling? Are you not going anymore?” She asks. 

Jimin debates whether or not he should be honest with them. Taehyung and Jungkook’s parents were a lot like his parents in the sense of needing their children to attend prestigious universities, getting good grades, and getting a good job after graduation. 

“I’m taking a short break from school. I was feeling a little overwhelmed with the strict academic regulations that came with being a pre-med student. I feel like I need to be mentally prepared and confident with my decision to study medicine and I was not.” 

Taehyung’s father nodded understandably. “Of course, studying medicine is a serious decision. You’re going to be saving lives. You made the right decision, son.” He boasted. Taehyung gave a quick glance to Jungkook. He was already returning the same look he had: shock. What was going on with their parents? Had Taehyung or Jungkook told their parents that they wanted to take a break from school, they would most likely faint or die from a heart attack. 

“Do you like living with our sons?” Jungkook’s mother asked, giving Jimin an amused smile. Jimin chuckled, looking at the two. “Yeah, they’re the best. They and ___ made me feel very welcomed into their humble abode.” He smiled. 

Their parents gave him a perplexed look. “Who’s ___?” Taehyung’s father asked. Jungkook stopped chewing his food and only stared ahead at his mother who was giving him a confused look. Taehyung turned his head to Jimin and silently cursed him out. He explicitly told him during the busride to not bring you up to them. He knew that his parents wouldn’t be okay with a woman living with him and on top of that, they would know that Taehyung was struggling to make ends meet when it came to rent. It was their decision to cut them off financially, therefore they had no need to know what was going on in his life financially-wise. 

“Uh-,” Jimin stuttered. One thing about Jimin was that he was a terrible liar. He couldn’t lie for the life of him. “____ is Taehyung and Jungkook’s next door neighbor! She comes over often and hangs out with us. She’s very nice.” He spat out. Jungkook let his silverware clang onto his bowl of soup and groaned out loud. Taehyung blinked and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingertips. 

“What? Are we not allowed to know about the kind of new friends you’ve made in Seoul?” Taehyung’s father protruded. “Yeah, tell us about ___. We would love to get to know your new female friend that is very close with you guys.” Jungkook’s mother chimed in. Taehyung chuckled nervously. “No, of course we can talk about ___. Like Jimin said, she is very nice. She’s a good friend of ours. She goes to Konkuk with us.” He explained.

Jungkook’s mother nodded. “What is she studying?” His father asked. “She’s studying to be a doctor.” He lied. If he was to expose that you were an undecided student, their parents would immediately disapprove of you. It would be worse than being a gap student, like Jimin. 

Taehyung’s father nodded in approval. “Smart girl.” He smiled. “Yes, very smart indeed. Is she originally from Seoul?” Jungkook’s mom leaned close to the table, seemingly very interested in learning more about you. 

“She’s from Busan like us. She actually went to the same school as Jungkook.” Taehyung nudged him. Jungkook choked on the soup he was trying to swallow. “What?” He muffled. “No way! What a funny coincidence! Jungkook, is she a good friend of yours too?” His mom grinned. 

He tried to swallow the rest of the liquid and pondered on the question. “Uh, I guess, yes.” He answered. “That’s so nice. We probably know her parents well.” Taehyung’s father nodded. “Oh, I don’t think so. She doesn’t come from an affluent family. She’s kind of…regular.” Taehyung said. 

He winced at the usage of “regular” to describe you but it was the only word he could think of for his parents to understand you and your background. It was the only word they’d understand. 

“Oh, I see.” She nodded. “She must be pretty, right?” This caused Jungkook and Taehyung to both choke on their food and Jimin to snort out a laugh. 

“What did I say?” she asked, worried as hell. 

Taehyung’s father chuckled at his sons. “They’re blushing, love. She must be very pretty indeed.” He teased. Taehyung dabbed the corner of his mouth with a napkin and cleared his throat. “Why do you guys care?” He said with a muffled voice. 

“We’re just curious.” She edged. 

Taehyung tried to brush off the question but Jungkook’s mother kept pestering. “She’s as pretty as every other girl in the world.” He tried to play it off. His father chuckled at his choice of wording. “To me, that translates to she’s pretty to you. Do any of you boys like her?”

Jimin laughed harder. “Dad, stop.” Taehyung hissed. “Is she in Busan for the holidays? We would love to meet her, you should invite her to spend New Year’s with us!” 

Jimin answered for them. “She stayed home for the break. Her parents are out of town.” 

“Jimin-,” Taehyung warned. “So you mean to tell me that she’s alone for the holidays? Why?” Taehyung’s father asked, with concern. “No idea. We had asked her to spend the holidays with us too but she insisted against it. The three of us didn’t want to leave her behind too.” Jimin continued to yap on. Taehyung pinched his leg and he yelped from pain. 

“Taehyung, Jungkook? Do invite her to come down and spend the week with us. We would love to have her here.” Jungkook’s mother suggested. “I-I think she will be okay. She might have other plans made and we shouldn’t disrupt that.” Taehyung said. 

“But-,”

“Mom, just drop it. She’s busy with another family that lives in Seoul. She told me herself. Don’t get worked up over it.” Jungkook chimed in. His mother remained silent but nodded. “I just think that no one should be spending the holidays alone. I recommend you guys text her and make sure she has company of some sort. Especially since she’s a woman living alone. Who knows what could happen to her.” 

That was probably the last thing the three of them wanted to hear. Although they felt reassured enough by you that you were going to be okay alone, they should’ve considered the fact that you were still a woman residing alone for a week and any weirdo could possibly hurt you and if not that, you were going to feel lonely regardless. Why would they just be okay with leaving you alone?

The three of them remained silent for the rest of the conversation. Taehyung’s father got the hint that they were now preoccupied with the thought of you being alone and decided to change the topic for the rest of dinner. 

“Are any of you boys seeing someone?” 

Jimin turned to look at Jungkook. “Jungkook, are you seeing someone?” His mother gasped. Jungkook kept his head down at his soup and remained silent some more. “You are?” 

“I’m not seeing anyone.” He lied. “Who is she? Who are her parents? Where is she from?”

Taehyung chuckled at him. “Her name is Yeri. They’ve been seeing each other for over a month now. She’s nice.” He answered for him. Jungkook kicked his legs under the table and Taehyung let out an abrupt chuckle. 

“I can’t believe how grown our son has gotten. He has his first girlfriend.” His mother cooes to her husband. “We would love to meet her whenever you’re ready to introduce us to her. I know it won’t be for a little while longer since it is still so new and fresh.”

Jungkook suddenly felt hot with irritation. Where was all this coming from? His parents suddenly showing an interest in his life? To Taehyung’s life? Why are they abnormally understanding of Jimin's drop out situation? Why now? Why now after he’s been gone for months that they suddenly want to act attentive and caring?

“What’s going with you both?” He asks. They give each other a perplexed look. “What are you talking about, son?” His mom asks innocently. “You know exactly what I mean. Why are you guys being like this? What did we do? What do you want from us?” He hissed. 

Taehyung wanted to attempt to control him but to be honest, he was quite relieved that he took the initiative to say something. He was beginning to feel claustrophobic with his parent’s sudden switch up. 

His parents remained quiet and uncomfortably looked at each other. Jungkook and Taehyung could sense tension oozing off of their silence. They knew that something was actually going on. 

The father cleared his throat and dabbed the corner of his lips with a napkin. “I think it’s time we tell them.” He said sternly. Jungkook’s mother didn’t react. She instead responded by taking a long chug of her red wine. 

Her sweet mother demeanor switched into a cold yet seemingly anxious attitude. “Tell us what?” Taehyung asked. 

“I’ll say it.” Jungkook’s mom spoke up. Her voice was deep. She darted her eyes between her son, Taehyung and Jimin. Her eyes softened as she glanced between the three boys she deeply cared for and loved. 

“Two months ago..,” She started off. 

“Two months ago…I got diagnosed with stage two cancer. Breast cancer.” She stated. 

All of a sudden, Jungkook felt as if his chair was sunken into a black void that was hungry to capture him. He felt as if he was disassociated from where he was. Is this a dream? Is it reality? Is he somewhere in between? Did he hear her correctly? 

Is this actually real life? 

With the silence in the room, you could hear a pin drop. You could hear thoughts.

“Your mother has her first chemotherapy session scheduled about two weeks from now. Doctors say that it is still possible they can remove the tumor inside.” He spoke up. 

Taehyung slightly turned his head to Jungkook, if he could figure out whatever was going through his head. If he even had anything going through his head at all. 

His face was as white as the wall, lips as white as him. His doe eyes were a combination of grief, anger, shock, and nothing at the same time. Jungkook could throw up at this very moment. 

“Why wouldn’t you tell me this sooner?” He whispered to her. She looked at him with regret and with pain. Pain for her only child having the bear this kind of news. 

“I figured it could wait. I didn’t want this to distract you from your studies.” She said matter-of-factly. Jungkook slammed his silverware to the table. 

“It took for you to get cancer to suddenly care about me? Care about my feelings? Consider me into your life for once?” He spat out. She jumped from the sudden harsh words he said to her.

“Now that you’re sick, you want to suddenly act like you have a son to talk to?” He continued. He tried to fight the tears that were threatening to spill but he couldn’t bear it anymore. He was destroyed. He was furious. He couldn’t even look at her without wanting to say bad words.

“Jungkook-,” Taehyung’s father tried to get him to stop but Jungkook seriously could not manage to stay in the same room as her. He stands up from his seat and storms upstairs to his bedroom.

“Jungkook, come back please.” His father yelled out for him. Taehyung watched him as he left. He understood where this was coming from. It was a mixture of grief of the devastating news and it was a mixture of him genuinely being furious at how his mother was acting like everything was fine between them when it just wasn’t.

Jungkook slammed his door and sat onto the side of his bed. He expected the rest of the tears to fall out but it felt as if he finally became mentally strong enough to block it. He was struggling to catch his breath, to catch a single ounce of a breath to exhale. His chest felt as if he swallowed a flame, growing hotter and painful to withstand.

He didn’t have the capacity to think rationally, act logically, and be stable. He was dealing with a surge of insanely different emotions and didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to see his mother, he didn’t want to see his step-father, he didn’t want to see Taehyung or Jimin or have either of the two come to his bedroom to confront him. He didn’t want to be here. Not at this home, not in Busan, all he knew was that he wanted to be as far away from here as possible. 

Without thinking, he grabbed his duffel bag,–which luckily hasn’t been unpacked yet–his phone, keys, and wallet and immediately left his childhood bedroom. He stomped down the stairs, not caring if they could hear him coming down, and headed straight towards the front door. 

The nearest bus station was a 30 minute drive, about a two hour walk from his house, but he didn’t care. He stormed outside of the house, ignoring the calls from his mother and father. 

Taehyung remained where he sat, knowing that Jungkook would be too stubborn to listen to him. He knew that Jungkook was just in shock and just wasn’t handling the news in the best and mature way. 

“Where could he possibly be going at this time?” Jungkook’s mother breathed out heavily. “Relax, he probably went on a walk to clear his mind. Give him some time to breathe.” His father soothed. 

“Taehyung,” His mother called out. He managed to look up from his plate and made eye contact with her. “Please call Jungkook if he doesn’t return within an hour.” She pleaded. Taehyung nodded in response. 

“Promise me? It is almost sunset, he shouldn’t be walking in the dark all alone.” 

“I promise.” He croaked out. Jungkook’s mother places her head into her palms and lets out an exasperated sigh. The table was filled with a painfully awkward silence. Jimin shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was suddenly missing his own home—the home where he is disowned from. 

“I’m going to get Mirae to clear our plates if we are all done eating now.” Taehyung’s father spoke up. Mirae was the housekeeper. 

“Mirae, come please. We’re all done here.” He called out, after using the silence as a collective response. 

. . .

After an hour and a half of speed walking, Jungkook finally made it to the bus station. His shoulders were aching, his legs were throbbing, and he was sweating like crazy. He felt pity for the people around him that could smell his sweat from walking over 20,000 steps across town. 

He approached the guest service desk. “Good evening, do you have an available ticket for a bus to Seoul? Soonest one, preferably.” 

As he was walking to the station, he decided he would head straight home to the apartment. He didn’t want to spend an entire week with his mother and pretend that everything was fine when it wasn’t. He didn’t want to spend Christmas and the New Year’s and pretend that he was having a good time when he wouldn’t. 

“The next bus to Seoul is arriving in twenty minutes. You’re lucky, there was one available seat left. Would you like to purchase it?” The attendant asked. He immediately reached for his wallet and handed his credit card, not caring about the price of the ticket. 

After purchasing his ticket, he sat at the nearest bench and closed his eyes. 

All he could replay in the back of his mind was the sight of his mother at the dinner table. He didn’t realize how frail she appeared, how deepened her wrinkles grew to be, and how pale her skin was. Her hair was thinner and grayer. She barely touched her dinner as well. How could he have not noticed how sick his own mother looked? His own mother was sick with cancer and he didn’t even notice it. 

His guilt shifted to resentment; how could she suddenly want to repair their damaged relationship now? Why now? Why after being diagnosed with a sickness does she suddenly want to make things better between them? Why didn’t she care prior? Would she have still reached out if she was never sick? Would she still care about him? 

He refused to let the tears that were pooling fall. He didn’t want to care about this. He didn’t want to admit that he is still a hurting child inside. He is still a young boy that misses and needs his mom. He didn’t want to be that boy anymore. He wanted to be the 20-year old man that was a college student, living on his own, and heading off into the real world.

Jungkook suddenly felt his phone vibrate in his hands. Taehyung was calling him.

After letting the phone ring for several moments, he decided to pick up. 

“What?” He said. 

“Where are you?” Taehyung asked. He sounded as if he was keeping his voice hushed, as if he didn’t want anyone to eavesdrop on the conversation.

Jungkook debated for a moment if he should just straight up tell him. He decided to lie. “I’m going to Yeri’s.” 

“Yeri’s? What, why?” He stuttered. “I, uh, don’t think I can handle being around my mom right now. Yeri’s with her family in Seoul for the holidays, so I’m just going to spend the week with her.” 

Taehyung sighed against the speaker. “Kook, your mom is sick. She…she needs you right now? Don’t do this.” He said quietly. Jungkook assumes that his mother is nearby and Taehyung didn’t want her to listen to the phone call. 

“She’s got you, your dad, and Jimin. She’ll be fine. She didn’t need me before and she certainly doesn’t need me now.” He spat out. 

Taehyung remained silent on the line, not knowing what to say to convince Jungkook to come back. He didn’t know what to say in general.

“Alright. Do what you want. Should I tell our parents you’re with Yeri?” He asked.

“I don’t care. Tell them whatever you want, I couldn’t give a single shit.” Jungkook hangs up without letting Taehyung say anything back. He swallowed the guilt he felt after talking to Taehyung so harshly. He knew that he shouldn’t take his anger out on him. Jungkook didn’t know how to handle this situation at all. He just wanted to leave Busan. He wanted to be home.

. . .

It was 11 o’clock at night and you were awake, with a sheet mask on, painting your toenails, and were on your third glass of red wine. Faye Webster was playing on your speakers in the background and you were humming along to the lyrics as you lightly brushed your pinky toe white. 

You were in a blissful mood; tipsy with wine, good music and good wine. Your chicken you ordered for delivery was on the way. Maybe this week alone wouldn’t be so awful after all. Maybe a week to yourself was what your soul was craving. 

Your phone was on DND, the LED living room lamp was cozy and warmly yellow. You were in paradise. Although at the same time you did miss the boys. You missed the chaotic energy they brought. You missed the Friday night movie watches, the constant bickering, the smell of Taehyung cooking dinner, the gossip you shared with Jimin, and the rare presence of Jungkook. 

You could only hope that they were enjoying their time at home. You missed Busan like crazy and wish that you could be back in your hometown too. 

You chugged down the rest of your wine and immediately began pouring yourself another glass. Being wine drunk was the move for tonight’s solemn mood. 

Your last toenail was painted and you placed the toe dividers in between. You sighed in delight and sipped your wine gracefully, still humming along to the song playing. 

Your relaxed mood was paused after hearing the sound of someone knocking on the door. You perked up, knowing that your fried chicken had arrived. You waddled over to the door, and eagerly opened the door.

Your breath was caught in your throat as you were not met with the sight of the delivery man. You were met with the sight of Jungkook.

“Jungkook?” You gasped, still in disbelief that he was here right in front of you. 

“Hey.” He said. 

You couldn’t manage to say anything else. You could only just stare at him. He looked physically exhausted. His hair was disheveled and looked greasy. His lips were cracked and dry and his eyes had dark bags hanging underneath.

“Come in.” You said but it managed to come out as a question. He entered the apartment and removed his shoes. He walked straight to the kitchen right after and grabbed a glass cup. He poured himself water from the sink and chugged it down in one second. You were still staring at him in disbelief.

“Um…can I ask why you’re home so soon?” You asked. He observed your shock-ridden face that was being covered by the sheet mask you had on your face. Your hair was tied up into a low bun and was pulled back by a plush headwrap with kitten ears attached to it. You had on your pink gingham patterned matching pajamas and he looked down to your freshly painted toenails and the toes being separated by the divider. He let out a chuckle at your relaxed appearance. 

“Sorry for interrupting your self care night.” He smirked at you. You embarrassingly walked away and headed back to the living room. Jungkook followed you. “Whatever.” You mumbled to yourself. Your solo night was now ruined by Jungkook’s random return.

You reached for your wine glass and took a large gulp. Your palms were suddenly sweaty and your heart was beating fast. You were nervous. You were now no longer alone in the apartment. It was just you and Jungkook. 

“Why are you home?” You asked again. Jungkook shrugged. “I didn’t want to be there anymore. I felt like coming back.” 

You stared at him down, still extremely confused. All you could think to yourself was why. Why, why, why? What happened?

“Does Taehyung know you’re here?” You asked. Jungkook shook his head no. “He doesn’t. And I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell him I am. He thinks I’m somewhere else.” He shoved his pants into his pockets and kept strong eye contact with you. He knows you’re confused and that you must have thousands of questions running through your mind right now. 

You nodded in agreement. “Are you going to stay? The entire holiday break?” 

Jungkook nodded. “Oh.” You manage to say. You couldn’t hide the disappointment laced in your voice. “Again, sorry for interrupting you. I should’ve told you I was coming.” He ran his fingers through his greasy hair.

“Don’t apologize. This is your home too. You can come and go as you please.” You chuckle nervously. You were extremely nervous to be alone with Jungkook for an entire week. This reminded you of the time when Taehyung was gone for a weekend to go interview for his candidacy as a recipient of the ‘best film’ award. You and Jungkook were in a heated argument, like usual, and you remember how awkward it was to be alone for a weekend. Now, it was for a whole week. Seven days.

“You want to join me? I’m just drinking wine and listening to music.” You offered, trying to break the awkward tension that was brewing. Jungkook debated for a moment. He didn’t know if he was in the mood to socialize anymore for the day. He was on a crowded 4-hour bus ride, and desperately craved to be back in his bed after a long day of commuting. 

Despite that, he felt bad to decline your offer. “Sure. Do you mind if I shower first? I’m pretty gross and greasy right now.” 

You immediately reassured him. “A-Absolutely, go ahead and shower and do whatever you need to do. No rush!” You blabbered. Jungkook gave you a curt nod and dragged his duffel bag and himself ahead to his bedroom. 

You breathed out a long stressed out sigh. You reached for your phone and tracked your chicken which was beginning to take too long to arrive. The driver was five minutes away. 

You groaned into a pillow, not caring that you were staining it with your sheet mask serums. 

. . .

After forty-five minutes passed by, you were gnawing on your third chicken leg with Jungkook devouring the food as well. He didn’t realize how hungry he had been. He barely ate the entire day. 

“This is some of the best chicken I’ve ever had in my entire life.” Jungkook said with his mouth full. You chuckled as you were chewing. “This is my go-to chicken restaurant. They never miss.” You dabbed the corner of your cheeks with a napkin and rinsed the chicken down your throat with a nice cold beer. 

You shouldn’t be mixing alcohol right now but you forgot that you had ordered beer with the order and didn’t want to mix fried chicken with wine; it wasn’t a good match. You were slightly past tipsy and entering drunk territory. 

Jungkook was also drinking his beer of the night. A fresh hot shower, fresh pair of pajamas, a cold beer, and crispy Korean fried chicken was the perfect way to end his shitty long day. 

The two of you were devouring the chicken in a comfortable silence. Faye Webster was still playing quietly in the background. “I like Faye Webster too.” Jungkook said. 

Your eyes widened. “You listen to her too?” He nodded. “I like to play her music whenever I study or read. Keeps me focused.” He said. You couldn’t help but to smile at that. “That’s so cool. I haven’t met anyone that also listened to her. She makes great music.” 

Jungkook nodded in agreement. “Same here. Sucks that she probably might not ever tour in Korea.” He sighed, tossing a chicken bone into the box. 

“Never say never.” You wagged a finger at him. 

The two of you were sitting quite far apart; both sitting on each end of the couch. He was freshly showered and the entire living room was filled with the scent of his shampoo. He smelled like fresh and clean laundry. You admired the way his damp wet hair stuck to his forehead and how his ends sprung and curled outwards. 

Another comfortable silence fell upon. 

“So, how was your short time with your family?” You asked, trying to make some conversation. After all, you did invite him to hang with you.

Jungkook took a gulp of beer and pondered on how to respond to your question. 

How straight forward should he be? He has come to the conclusion awhile ago that you are someone who is trustworthy and someone easy to confide problems with. You are good at comforting others. However, he constantly mentally struggles whether the two of you are considered to be ‘friends’ enough to discuss any dilemmas with. The two of you have a weird so-called friendship.

However, despite all the complications, he’d rather communicate honestly to someone who wasn’t biased to his family for once. 

“If I had to describe it in one word, it would be: weird. It was weird.”

“How come?” You pestered.

He sighed. “They were being abnormally…nice for once. Like they were trying to act like actual parents and wanted to know what we were up to since we last chatted. Immediately, that was a huge red flag for me because since when did they care about that, right? What other way was there to describe that other than weird? It was so weird.” 

You cocked your head to the side. “I see.” You nodded. Jungkook continued on.

“It was such bullshit. They picked us up from the bus stop themselves and actually sat down to eat dinner with us.”

You were in shock hearing at how distant and fucked up Jungkook’s relationship with his parents was. The fact that he was shocked that they ate dinner with them said a lot. 

“Eventually, I made them stop the bullshit. I asked them why they were acting so differently and comes to turn out that my mother has fucking cancer.” He said nonchalantly. 

Without hesitation, you immediately got up from your spot and sat right in front of Jungkook. “I’m sorry, what? Your mom has cancer?” Your eyes were wide open, with your heart thumping against your chest from the shock.

“Yeah, stage two breast cancer. She’s known for two months and broke the news over dinner.” He chugged another gulp of beer. He could feel his chest burning from the emotions arising again and his eyes stinging from the tears threatening to form. 

“Oh, Jungkook…” You cooed. You hesitantly placed your hand above his hand, debating whether you should touch it out of comfort. You decided to just place your hand over his forearm. 

“I’m so sorry to hear that, I’m truly so sorry.” Your eyes met with his and Jungkook could easily read the immense sympathy you had for him. Your eyes looked glassy, as if you were going to cry. 

He shook his head and let out a cold laugh. “Is it bad that I’m so fucking pissed at her, ____? I’m genuinely so furious with her. Why is it that now after finding out she’s sick, she wants to become more present in my life and start wanting to know how I’ve been? She has never cared before so why should she switch up and care now?” 

You allowed Jungkook to continue venting. You knew he had more to let out of his system. 

“Am I a bad son for storming out after she broke the news? Was I supposed to get over it and stay for the rest of the break and be there for her? Am I in the wrong for being upset?” He was fuming. His nose was turning pink from his arising emotions and he continued to withhold the tears. He refused to cry. He refused to cave in.

“You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel. I think you have every right to feel this way,” You started off, beginning to rubbing circles on his forearm with your fingertips. Jungkook looked up to make eye contact with you.

“I also think you’re in shock and this is you reacting out of shock and the lifelong resentment you hold against your mom. The shock is coming out of worry and fear. And you carry worry and fear over your mom’s news because you love her despite the resentment. You love your mother and you’re scared to lose her. You also have so much reason to be furious at her as a secondary emotion.”

“I don’t want to worry about her, she’s never worried about me. She practically let me raise myself. Taehyung was more of a mother to me than she was.” 

You stopped rubbing circles and removed your hands from his space. 

“Do you want to hear advice or do you just want a friend to listen to you? I can do whatever you need.” You asked. Jungkook could only stare into your soft and kind eyes. He didn’t know how to answer that. He’s never been asked that before. 

The fact that you called yourself his friend comforted him slightly. He needed a friend by his side. 

“I don’t want to talk about her anymore.” He firmly stated. Jungkook’s an avoidant person. When he struggles with an issue, he pretends it doesn’t exist. 

You could tell Jungkook was truly hurting from this. You could see the pain tattooed in his eyes. You also didn’t want to force him to talk about something that was distressing him and that he was clearly still in the process of accepting to believe. 

“Let’s finish this bottle of wine together, yeah?” You smiled at him. He tried to suppress the smile that was trying to respond to yours but he couldn’t. It’s something about the way you always manage to get his soft emotions out of him that he can’t hide well. 

. . .

Throughout the week, you and Jungkook were co-existing well. The two of you would accompany each other during breakfast and dinner, and occasionally grab iced Americanos for lunch. 

There was a holiday market on campus and you invited him to tag along. The two of you spent a good hour at the market and checked out everything together; even playing the Christmas-themed arcade games provided. 

You continued your Christmas tradition of watching classic holiday movies in your coziest pajamas while eating fresh baked cookies and hot chocolate. Normally, you would do this with Jihyo and Chaeyoung and had assumed you would continue the tradition alone this year but Jungkook surprisingly joined you. 

Jungkook was beginning to grow comfortable with considering you as an actual friend and not just someone whom he likes to bicker with. He liked your company. He liked how you used him as Jimin’s replacement to discuss any gossip and how you used him as Taehyung’s replacement to become the chef of the household. He cooked everything for you; breakfast and dinner. He realized while he was cooking breakfast one morning that one his love languages for his friends was doing acts of service. He liked cooking for you, he liked helping Yoongi out with any assignments he had trouble with, he liked doing extra household chores to make Taehyung’s day easier whenever he had a busy day of working and going to school, and he liked tagging along with Jimin to the gym to spot him during their weight lifting sessions, even tags along without Jimin asking. 

He didn’t regret leaving Busan. He knew he needed time away to process and needed time apart from his mom to understand her and her reasoning on why she did what she did. After all, she can’t just ignore the emotional negligence she’s done to him since he was a child. He was enjoying his break back at home. 

It was New Year’s Eve morning when you and Jungkook were sitting at the table and enjoying each other’s company as per usual. 

“I forgot, will Tae and Jimin come back tonight or tomorrow morning?” You asked Jungkook. “I think tomorrow morning. My parent’s usually like to throw New Year’s parties and probably want the two to celebrate with them and their asshole friends.” Jungkook sipped his tea.

You chuckled at how nonchalantly he insults people. “Do you want to come with me to Hoseok’s New Year’s party? He texted me about it last night. It was a last minute he and Yoongi made.” 

Jungkook immediately nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been missing Yoongi like crazy.” You gaped your mouth open. “Are you actually missing someone? That’s crazy.” 

Jungkook tossed a raspberry at you. “I’m not an emotionless psychopath, ___.” He rolled his eyes. You groaned in annoyance. “I don’t know why you can’t admit that you indeed are an emotionless psychopath.” 

“Just because I’m not nice to everyone doesn’t mean I don’t have a heart.” He argued. “I think it means you have unsolved trauma you need to get through.” You argued back, causing Jungkook to snort at you. 

“Therapy is expensive, being an asshole is free.”

You laughed at him, shaking your head in amusement. “Let’s leave at around 10:30.” You suggested. He nodded in agreement and went back to reading the news on his phone.

You suddenly got a Facetime call from Taehyung. Excitedly, you answered quickly.

“Good morning, ___!” Taehyung beamed at you. This was the first time you were seeing his face after he left to go home. The two of you continued to text everyday but this was the first time he called to Facetime after being gone throughout the week. 

“Tae! What’s up! I’ve missed you a lot.” You smiled at him. Jimin popped his head into the screen and waved at you. “Jimin! Hi, I’ve missed you too!” You grinned at the two. 

“We just wanted to say hi on the last day of the year. We miss you too. Wish you were spending the New Year’s with us but we’ll be back tomorrow morning. We were supposed to be back today but my parents want Jimin and I to stay and hang with them and their asshole friends.” Taehyung said. You choke out a giggle, remembering how Jungkook said the exact same thing a minute ago. A reminder of how closely similar they can be. 

A text from Jungkook slides to the top of your screen:

jungkook: Remember, they don’t know I’m here. 

You quickly text back a thumbs up emoji and return back to the video call.

“So, where’s Jungkook? Is he still asleep?” You asked. “Oh, he’s not here in Busan. He went to spend the holidays with Yeri and her family. I have no idea where in Korea he’s at.” 

Your face fell at what Taehyung said. You peered over to look at Jungkook and he was still just reading the news on his phone, as if he didn’t hear Taehyung. 

You felt so stupid to remember that Jungkook had a whole girlfriend. He’s barely mentioned her the entire time he’s been home. 

“Oh, right. Well, I’ll probably text him to wish a happy new year’s after midnight. How have you guys been, what were you guys up to all week?” You quickly dismissed the Jungkook topic.

Jimin groaned. “Tae’s dad asks us to play golf and tennis with him every morning at the country club he goes to everyday. Then, in the evening, Jungkook’s mom asks us to go to her pilates and yoga classes with her. We’ve literally been exercising every single day. Three entirely different sports and exercises everyday. At night, Tae and I try to sneak out and get drinks and go to clubs to let loose.” Jimin whined. You giggled at them.

“That actually sounds like a lot of fun, I wish I could attend pilates classes for free. It’s such an expensive hobby.” You chuckle. “At least we burn so many calories a day that we have extra space to drink our sorrows away.” Jimin groaned again. Taehyung chuckled and nodded in agreement. 

“Wish you were here, ___. How have you been spending your break? Enjoying the silence in the apartment? Do you keep the door locked every night?” Taehyung pestered you.

“I’ve been having a great time alone. I spent Christmas with Hoseok and plan to spend tonight with him again. He and Yoongi are throwing a party.” You lied. You didn’t want Taehyung to have the idea that you spent Christmas alone like a lonely loser. 

“Ah, I’m so glad he’s giving you company. Let me know if you need anything, okay? I’m always here for you.” Taehyung urged. Jungkook tried to hold back a scoff at his obvious desperate attempts to woo you over. 

“I promise, Tae. See you tomorrow, okay? Thanks for calling to check in.” You smiled and waved. 

“Taehyung and I are gonna head out to the club with his dad now. Wish us luck. See ya, ___.” Jimin hung up on the call before you had a chance to say something back. 

You sighed in happiness, realizing that you truly missed the two and enjoyed seeing their faces and hearing their voices after so long. 

“Why do you look so happy? You missed Tae-Tae?” Jungkook mocked you. You rolled your eyes at him, already annoyed. “I miss both of them, not just Tae. What’s with everyone thinking I like Taehyung or something?” You groaned.

Jungkook snapped his head up at that. “Who thinks that?” He asked. “Literally, everyone. Hoseok and my friends Jihyo and Chaeyoung, too. Hoseok even has the audacity to think that Taehyung has some kind of crush on me. Ridiculous, right?” 

Jungkook kept quiet for a second but laughed it off. “Extremely ridiculous.” 

For some reason, this annoyed you. “‘Extremely’? Is it that weird if someone like Tae was to like me? As if I’m so unlikable or something?” You spat. Jungkook laughed again, not expecting you to get so heated at that.

“Did I say that? Tell me what exactly I said that hinted at that?” He snickered. You scoff at him. “You said ‘extremely’ really honestly. I could tell by the way you dragged out the word. You said ‘extreeemeleey’.” You mocked.

Jungkook was growing to be more amused with you. He didn’t know you had a dramatic side to you. “As if you are such a catch yourself! I’m surprised you even have a girlfriend that can handle you.” You pick on him.

It took Jungkook a second to remember who you were even talking about. He hasn’t thought about Yeri since the ice-skating date. He doesn’t even remember if he’s replied to the last text she sent.

Admittedly, Jungkook felt bad that he cared little about Yeri. He knows that she’s a nice girl and genuinely deserved better than the treatment he’s giving her. It’s clear she wants more than sex from him. He made a mental note to have a chat with Yeri about their relationship after the New Year’s. He knows that he can’t be the one to give her the kind of relationship she’s seeking for and that it was shitty of him to lead her on like this for so long. Maybe he really can be an emotionless psychopath. 

“Didn’t highschool you harbor a big ass crush on me? Clearly, I must be a catch.” He teased. Everytime Jungkook mentions your stupid crush on him, you mentally kill yourself. What in the world made you think it was a good idea to confess to him on the last day of school? Why were you so confident that you wouldn’t run into him again after graduation? You should’ve known that you were going to lose your freshman dorm and end up living in an apartment with him and his brother somehow. 

“Why don’t you go tease your girlfriend instead of teasing me all the time. Do you even know what she’s up to lately? You’ve barely even talked about her and haven’t heard you talk to her on the phone or anything.” The bickering continued. 

“Why do you care though?” Jungkook’s smile grew bigger. You couldn’t help but laugh along with him. The lover girl in you couldn’t help but get butterflies at the grin he’s giving you. It’s rare to see Jungkook smile but it’s even rarer to make him smile. You forget how pretty his teeth are and how gorgeous he looks when he’s smiling.

“Stop smiling at me, you look like a creep.” You lied. Jungkook snorts at you and goes back to reading the news on his phone. You take the opportunity to secretly admire him and his beauty. God, you hated how he still makes you feel like that giddy high schooler all over again. It wasn’t fair. 

What will it take and how long will it take for you to get over that stupid feeling he makes you feel? When will it hit you that Jungkook is into someone else, someone that isn’t you? Your heart panged at the constant reminder that Jungkook once had your heart and stomped all over it til it was no longer existent and relevant in his eyes. 

. . .

“___! You’re here! And…Jungkook too?” Hoseok gave you a confused glance. 

“He had nothing better to do and he said he missed Yoongi so I had no choice but to drag him.” You whispered through your teeth. Hoseok nodded understandably. 

Hoseok’s apartment was surprisingly packed. You didn’t realize how many friends he and Yoongi collectively shared. It was around 30 people together inside their large studio apartment. 

You and Jungkook had pregamed together before heading out to Hoseok’s. You both took three shots of soju together and made small conversation before leaving. You were feeling happily buzzed right now. 

“Let’s take a shot together, my love.” Hoseok handed you a small plastic shot glass of a mysteriously pungent clear liquid. “What is this? It smells so strong.” You scrunched your nose. “Tequila. Don Julio Blanco.” He smiled at you mischievously. 

“Oh, you want me fucked up tonight.” You chuckled at him. You both clinked your cups together and tossed the hot liquor down your poor throats and poor liver.

“I’m thankful for our friendship, ___. We only met a few months ago but you’re already one of the most important people in my life. I love you.” Hoseok pulled you into a tight embrace. “I love you too, Hobi. Thank you for being my friend. To another year of friendship.” 

Hoseok kissed your temple and leaned down to whisper against your ear. “I have something to tell you but I’m afraid you’re going to kill me.” 

You chuckled and leaned into his ears. “Nothing you can do could possibly make me hate you.” You began to mentally prepare yourself for whatever he was going to tell you.

“Promise?” 

“Depends on what it is.” You smirked. “Namjoon is here.”

Your smile dropped instantly. How the fuck is he here? “How the fuck is he-”

“Some of Yoongi’s friends spread the word to him and next thing I know, he’s here with them.” 

You groaned out of annoyance and stress. “Fuck me.” You sighed.

“I just wanted to let you know in case you run into him.” Hoseok gave you a sympathetic glare. “Thanks, I guess. I mean, I wasn’t really into him like that either way, it’s just going to be so awkward if I was to run into him after he just randomly ghosted me. I don’t know what I’d even say to him.”

“You don’t owe him an explanation. He does. So, don’t feel obliged to make conversation if you do happen to run into him. Just stick by me and Yoongi’s side the entire night, we’ll look out for you.” Hoseok reassures you. 

You nod in agreement. “I’m gonna go greet my friends that just walked in, give me a second, okay?” Hoseok patted reassuringly on your shoulder and walked past to greet his newly arrived guests.

You sighed in annoyance to yourself, not knowing what to do as you were left alone. Jungkook went off to find Yoongi. You looked around the room to see if you could spot Namjoon. 

Luckily, you couldn’t see him anywhere. Hopefully, he left for the night?

It was creeping to a quarter past 11. You caught sight of Jungkook and Yoongi in the middle of a conversation. You didn’t know how to distract yourself by looking all lonely so you reached your phone and randomly scrolled through different apps.

After a few minutes of doing so, you decided to go to the cooler and search for a drink to emotionally rely on for the time being. As you were searching, you reached for a Wild Basin Mango Mai Tai seltzer. Your hands were grabbing to the can until another hand suddenly reached over the same seltzer can. 

You looked up and were unfortunately met with the sight of Namjoon.

“Great.” You mumble to yourself. 

“Hey, ___! Nice seeing you here.” Namjoon chuckled nervously. You flashed him a fake smile and instantly stopped reaching for the drink. “H-How have you been?” Namjoon attempted to make conversation with you. You couldn’t help but to scoff and roll your eyes at him. You tried to walk away from him but he chased after you.

“___, wait please. I can explain, okay?” 

Namjoon led you to a quiet corner and placed your back against the wall. “Seriously, I can explain.” He pleaded.

“I don’t think I want to hear your excuses tonight, Namjoon.” You tried to walk away but Namjoon gently stopped you. “Seriously, give me just a minute of your time to explain. I promise to leave you alone after.” You held his right hand up, as if he was genuinely swearing to do so.

“You have five minutes.” You crossed your arms.

He breathed out and scratched his neck. “Well, I don’t really know how else to explain it but…I swear I was serious when I asked you out on that date. I had true genuine intentions. I was really into you that night we met but…I was sort of blackmailed to not go on that date with you?” He admitted.

Your heart sunk at that. “I’m sorry?” You asked in disbelief. Namjoon nodded understandably. “I know how crazy that fucking sounds but I swear, I was told to not go on that date with you from a friend of mine. He said he would make the date wouldn’t happen under any circumstance. And he’s a pretty scary guy so I just did what he told me. I know I should’ve told you this as soon as he threatened me but he said not to tell you and … now here we are.”

Namjoon looked genuinely sincere. He had a worried expression mirroring his eyes. He wasn’t avoiding eye contact with you or anything that expressed that he could be possibly lying. You could sense in your gut that he was telling the truth.

“Who told you not to go on that date with me?” You asked. 

“___, I wish I could tell you but I can-”

“If you want me to forgive you, tell me who told you, please. Please Namjoon.” You begged.

He remained silent for a moment, obviously mentally debating whether he should confess or not.

“Promise you won’t confront him about it? I feel like he had good intentions with the blackmailing, I genuinely trust that he must’ve had a good reason to do so. Don’t confront him, please.” He pleaded. 

You nodded in agreement. “I promise.” 

Namjoon sighed, to prepare himself. “It was Jimin.”

You gape your mouth wide open. “J-Jimin? Are you serious?”

Namjoon reached his hands into his back pocket and pulled out his phone. He went into his text messages and shoved his phone in front of your face. “Read the texts.”

Jimin: Joon, you busy?

Namjoon: Nah, not really. What’s up?

Jimin: Meet me in front of your apartment in ten minutes. got a huge favor to ask you

“He came over to ask me to not show up to our date. He said it was important and didn’t give a clear enough reason as to why. He just kept emphasizing how important it was and that he would eventually explain why but he never did. I swear to you, ___. I seriously didn’t mean to ghost you like that.” Namjoon explained. 

You took a moment to absorb everything. As expected, you had thousands of questions running through your mind: Why would Jimin want your date with Namjoon to not happen? Why would he set you two up together to only make him ghost on you like that? Why would he comfort you as if he wasn’t the reason as to why the date never happened. Why would Jimin do that? 

You grew to be extremely irritated. You didn’t want to bring this negative energy into the new year. This was a problem for next year you to handle. Tonight, you wanted to just enjoy yourself. 

“Thank you for telling me this, Namjoon. Seriously.” You smiled. He returned the grin at you. “You don’t hate me, right?” 

You chuckle at him. “Not anymore.” The two of you chuckle together. “Let’s go back to where everyone is.” You suggested. You pulled on his arm, making him be dragged from behind. 

Jungkook caught sight of you pulling Namjoon back to the crowd and immediately felt himself grow to be confused. “Is that Namjoon?” Jungkook asked Yoongi. Yoongi swiveled his head to check out the direction Jungkook was facing. He saw you and Namjoon in the middle of the conversation, drinking seltzers together. 

“Yeah, some of my friends brought him along. I guess the frat king had nothing better to do tonight.” Yoongi turned his attention back to Jungkook. He was still eyeing you and Namjoon down. Yoongi knew that Namjoon had randomly ghosted you the day of the date and knew that Jungkook would naturally be feeling slightly overprotective over you. Yoongi knew that despite Jungkook’s cold exterior towards you, you held a soft spot in him. He could tell by the Jungkook’s eyes softened whenever he was around you, the way his defensive avoidant traits have diminished and how he’s become more open and welcoming to allow you in his trusted circle. 

“You’re not going to get drunk and shit on her again, right?” Yoongi teased. Jungkook chuckled and swirled his tongue around his inner cheek. “Nah, not anymore. We’re…she’s a friend to me now. I don’t do that to my friends.” Jungkook said, shyly. 

Yoongi felt proud of Jungkook. He can see how Jungkook is shifting away from his angsty teenage self and is trying to transition into an emotionally composed man. 

It was now five minutes until the New Year countdown. Hoseok had passed out hats, glasses, and glasses of champagne to everyone. After passing everything, he walked over to you and Namjoon. “Nice to meet you again.” Hoseok flashed him his best fake-smile. 

Namjoon obliviously smiled at him back and waved at him. “You too! Thanks for hosting this party.” He gave him a curt nod. Hoseok smiled again and nodded. “Of course, thank you for coming! Make sure you get your New Year’s kiss for good luck!” Unbeknownst to Namjoon, Hoseok lightly pinched your elbow, causing you to yelp. You gave him a death glare but he didn’t bother to give you a glance. “I’m going to look for my New Year's kiss partner. See you next year!” He joked, giving you a quick wink before disappearing into the crowd.

You glanced at Namjoon and nervously chuckled. “That’s Hoseok, by the way, if you didn’t know. He’s one of my best friends.” Namjoon nodded. “Of course, I remember him from the Halloween party. He’s Yoongi’s boyfriend or something like that, right?” 

“Yeah, he is.”

There was a slight uncomfortable silence between the two of you. All of a sudden, the room was filled with countdown chants. 

“Ten, nine, eight, seven…,”

“___?” Namjoon faced you. You looked up at him. “Yes?”

“Five, four, three, two, one! Happy New Year’s!”

He looked down to your lips and his eyes were asking for permission to kiss you. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol hitting your system all at once or if it was the fact that you had forgiven him for what he did but you decided to not give a fuck and not make the kiss a big deal.

You gave him a single nod and he immediately bent down to plant a gentle and soft kiss on your lips. 

It was a sweet kiss. He didn’t try to barge his tongue down your throat nor did he try to slobber your face full of his saliva.

You hummed in pleasure and kissed him back, cupping one of your hands onto his face. Namjoon breaks the kiss after a few moments and flashes a soft smile at you. “That was nice.” His eyes turned into crescents. 

You giggled and nodded in agreement. “It was. Happy New Year’s, Namjoon.” You held your champagne glass up to clink with his. “Happy New Year’s, ___.” You felt the need to clarify your intention of the kiss. “That was just a friendly kiss, right? Just so that you could get good luck this year?” 

Namjoon’s grin grew wider and nodded. “Yeah, just a friendly kiss.” He understood why you asked the question and felt the same way about you; just friends. 

. . .

It was the next morning. The first morning of the new year. You were awake at 7 in the morning with Jungkook. You were slightly hungover but luckily you had remembered to take Tylenol and drink water when you had arrived home at two in the morning.

Taehyung and Jimin would be arriving home in an hour and Jungkook had asked you to help freshen up the apartment with him. Strangely, Jungkook had barely said a word to you all morning. Just a gruff “good morning”. 

“What’s gonna be your excuse when they see you home already? You gonna say you came home last night or something?” You asked, as you were fluffing the couch pillows. Jungkook shrugged. “I guess so. I got nothing else to come up with. I’ll say I came home right before midnight.”

“Yeah, that’s smart.” You nodded. 

Jungkook continued to sweep the floor in silence. You could sense that something was up with him. He was avoiding eye-contact with you and you felt as if he was purposely physically distancing himself from you. “You okay? Hungover or something?” You asked. 

Jungkook snorted at that. “You forget that I have a way higher tolerance than you, ___.” “Right, I completely forgot you’re the king of alcohol, my bad.” You rolled your eyes. 

Jungkook was starting to feel bad that he was being moody with his hot and cold emotions towards you. He didn’t want to continue his toxic habit of giving you the cold shoulder and taking his feelings out on you. He wanted to try and actually treat you like the friend you are to him. 

“Are you back together with Namjoon?” He finally decides to ask. You swivel your head to his direction and feel yourself become speechless. 

“I saw you with him last night. You guys seemed friendly.” He continued to say, without looking at you as he swept the floor.

You mentally debated with yourself. Did he deserve to know or care? He wasn’t even that close with Namjoon. Did he see you two share the kiss? 

“He found me at the party and asked me to hear his explanation as to why he ghosted me. I decided to forgive him.” 

Jungkook nodded, still feeling unsure. He wasn’t sure if he was okay with you surrounding yourself with people like Namjoon, from the perspective of a friend and the perspective of a man who knows how other men operate.

“Well, what was the reason?” He asked. You instantly got reminded of the fact that Jimin was behind the reason as to why he flaked on the date. 

You felt your face turn pale and cold from the anxiety and confusion. You still can’t pinpoint on why Jimin would go out of his way to sabotage a situation that he encouraged to start in the first place? Did Jimin have bad intentions against you? You didn’t know if you should confess to Jungkook and if you did, would he even believe you? Would he gaslight you and claim that Namjoon was making it up and that you were being too gullible? However, you felt that if anyone would truly understand where Jimin was coming from, it would be either Jungkook or Taehyung. 

“It’s gonna sound crazy…like really fucking crazy. But he explained to me that he was told by Jimin to not go on that date with me.” 

Jungkook shared a similar wave of confusion wash over his face. His eyebrows furrowed furiously with his pink and plush lips gaped open slightly. “Yeah, weird right? I can’t pinpoint a single fucking reason as to why Jimin would go out of his way to do that. I can’t think of anything that's valid enough to hijack a date that he knew I was looking forward to. Especially since he was the one who got us to get to know each other at the Halloween party.” 

Jungkook agreed with you. He couldn’t think of anything as well. “Just ignore it, ___. I’m sure Jimin did it for an urgent reason. Forget I even asked about it.” He tried to reassure you. His eyes darted over the clock that was placed on the wall, hinting that Jimin and Taehyung’s arrival is coming near; about less than thirty minutes from now. 

“But–,” 

“If I hear anything from Jimin’s perspective, I’ll be sure to let you know, okay? I think the place looks clean enough. Thanks for helping.” He gives you a forced smile and nods curtly. 

You decide to go along with Jungkook’s suggestion for the time being. You could tell that Jungkook is trying to avoid the topic. He had a cloud of tense aura surrounding him. After being acquainted with Jungkook for some time now, you knew when and when not to press his buttons. 

“Alright…just text me when the boy’s arrive. I’m gonna go shower real quick.” You leave before he could respond. 

Jungkook sits on one of the reclining chairs and simply stares at the wall. He gets lost into his thoughts about possible reasons as to why Jimin would sabotage your date. He has this uncomfortable feeling brewing in his gut. It was as if Jungkook’s gut knew the answer but he mentally could not pinpoint it for the life of him. He didn’t like how much he was bothered by this new information. 

Jungkook let out a heavy breath and felt conflicted with himself. He knew that he wanted to intervene but also he knew that he shouldn’t. Nothing in this situation required his immediate attention at all. But something in him compelled his need for action. He needed to know and he needed to know now. He needed to help you get closure for this. Thirty minutes suddenly felt like thirty hours. The seconds were going agonizingly slow. 

“What’s up, Kook?” He heard his brother’s voice through the speaker of his phone. “Huh?” He said.

“You…you just called me?” Taehyung said, with confusion laced in his tone. Jungkook was in his head about this that he didn’t realize he had unconsciously called Taehyng just to see how far away he was from home. 

“Right, s-sorry. I must’ve butt-dialed you.” Jungkook hung up immediately. He felt pathetic. He felt as if he was beginning to go crazy with the way he was so pressed about this. Jungkook decided to go and cook a quick breakfast to welcome Jimin and Taehyung in order to distract himself and to make time go by faster. 

During the cook prep and the actual cooking time, thoughts and possible explanations as to why Jimin would force Namjoon to ditch the date plagued his mind: Did Jimin suddenly find out something was wrong with Namjoon? Was he toxic? Did he have an infamous cheating history? Was he protecting you from something? Something so serious that he had to stop the date from happening? 

His blabbering thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. He was welcomed to the sight of Jimin and Taehyung stumbling inside the apartment with their heavy luggages. 

“Kook?” Jimin grinned. He jumped into his arms and embraced him tightly. “Kook, what are you doing here!” Jimin placed his hands onto his shoulder and pulled him back into another embrace. 

“We thought you weren’t gonna be back until tomorrow?” Taehyung didn’t look as shocked as Jimin. He appeared to be genuinely confused and in utter shock. 

“Well, I-”

The sound of your squeal interrupted Jungkook’s explanation. “You guys are back!” You jumped into Taehyung’s arms, launching him enough for him to almost fall backwards. “What a nice welcome.” Taehyung chuckled, wrapping his arms around your waist. He felt his heart soaring at the fact that you immediately ran to him first and welcomed him in such a wholesome way. 

Jimin chuckled to himself at the sight and shook his head. “Where’s my hug?” He fake-pouted. You pulled yourself away from Taehyung’s embrace and pulled into Jimin’s arms, a bit hesitant. Jimin didn’t sense your reluctant energy that was obviously oozing out—at least in Jungkook’s perspective. 

“I’ve missed you too, Jimin!” You smiled at him. Jimin ruffled your semi-wet hair and pulled you back into a side hug. “Tell me everything. Tell me how your entire week has been without us three.” 

You nervously darted your eyes towards Jungkook for a second before clearing your throat. “It was great, y’know? Got some real needed alone time and spent Christmas and New Year’s with Hoseok, as you already know. Other than that, I had a good time. I’ve missed you guys like crazy.” You tried to steer the conversation away from your so-called “alone time”. 

Jimin turned his attention back to Jungkook. “Right, we completely forgot to continue our conversation. When did you come home? Like Tae said, we thought you weren’t gonna be back til at least tomorrow?” Jungkook wasn’t nervous nor was he scared to lie to them. 

“I came home last night around 9-ish. Yeri’s family went to celebrate the New Year’s with family in the area so I decided to come home that same night.” Jungkook said. He darted his eyes between Jimin and Taehyung to see if they believed a single thing he said. Jimin was nodding his head, as if he didn't doubt him. 

When Jungkook moved his eyes to Taehyung, he seemed bothered. His lips were pressed into a thin line, his eyes were a chilling almost-black color. “So did you spend New Year’s with Yeri’s other family as well?” Taehyung asked. 

Jungkook paused. He didn’t bother to look at you because he knew that you were already looking at him, eagerly seeing what he would say. Would he tell the truth or would he lie again?

“No, I spent New Year’s with ___.” He said. 

There was a brief silence between the brothers. It was a silence that only the two of them could feel. As if they were the only ones who could feel the sudden tension brewing between them. 

Jimin could tell that Taehyung was bothered at the fact that you and Jungkook spent the night together unknowingly. He didn’t really get why Taehyung would feel bothered at that since everyone knows that you and Jungkook would never get along no matter what, right? Assumingly, the night was spent with unstoppable bickering and negative tension. 

“You didn’t spend it with Yeri?” Taehyung asked again. Jungkook shook his head. “She wanted to spend it with family and well, I…wanted to accompany ____.” He said. Taehyung’s Adam-apple bobbed up and down. 

“Right,” He started off. “I’m glad you kept each other company.” Taehyung looked between you and Jungkook and reached for his luggage. “Breakfast smells amazing, Kook. I’m gonna go settle my things in my room and come back out to eat.” Taehyung rolled his luggage away from the kitchen and headed towards his bedroom. 

You could tell that something was off with Taehyung. His entire mood did a whole 180. “Let’s eat, guys.” You suggested, to ease the tension that was beginning to affect you and Jimin as well.

The breakfast between the four quickly aided to resume the usual comfortable vibe with everyone. Jimin and Taehyung filled you and Jungkook in on how their week went in more detail. Their Christmas and New Year’s went by smoothly, they talked about the horrendous bruise that Taehyung got from straining his calves during a pilates session with Jungkook’s mother, how Jimin got along surprisingly well with Taehyung’s father’s golfing buddies, and all the girl’s numbers that Jimin and Taehyung received from their secret nights out clubbing. You shared in every detail how you spent your week except you left out the minor fact that Jungkook had been with you throughout all of those events: the wine nights, the holiday market stroll, watching Christmas movies till you knocked out, et cetera. Jungkook was with you throughout all of that. 

The recollection of all those memories as you were sharing them made you unconsciously smile from ear to ear as you blabbered on. You didn’t realize how nice it was to have had Jungkook’s presence with you the entire time. In fact, it made you feel as if you got to know him better in a more intimate and vulnerable way. You were able to fully get along and connect as people, as roommates, as friends. You no longer view Jungkook as the handsome stranger that you just randomly harbored a crush on for years. You knew him as your anti-social yet dorky and nerdy roommate who lived in the bedroom next to yours that had a great taste in music, is a phenomenal cook, a person who loves to provide acts of service for those he cares about, is a genuinely intelligent person when it comes to the books but not so smart when it comes to real-life and its complex problems and people. All of that and more made you start to love Jungkook not in a romantic way but as a person. As a friend.

Breakfast wrapped up nicely, with Taehyung claiming that he needed to take a nap or else “he would die”. You decided to go back into your bedroom and catch up on your current read of the month. “Do you guys need help cleaning?” You asked Jimin and Jungkook. “We’re all good here, ___. Thanks for asking.” Jimin smiled softly at you. You returned the smile, ignoring the slight discomfort as you made eye-contact with him. 

After breakfast, Jungkook had volunteered to help Jimin clean up. He decided that this would be the best way to corner Jimin and get him to spill the truth as to why he sabotaged your date with Namjoon. He tried his best to just not give a single fuck about this but he truly couldn’t. Something was gnawing at his gut to fulfill the need to know what happened. 

The two were at the sink; Jimin was washing and Jungkook was drying. 

“So, did you enjoy your stay with Yeri and her family?” Jimin asked. Jungkook nodded. “It was alright.” He said. 

“Do you see yourself getting serious with her? Like full commitment?” Jimin looked at him, giving him a cheeky grin. Jungkook snorted at that. “Slow down there. I don’t even take myself seriously, what makes you think I’ll take someone else seriously?” Jimin chuckled at him. “It wouldn’t kill you if you actually had feelings for someone, Kook. It’s okay to allow yourself to feel sometimes.” 

Jungkook ignored him. “How are things going with you?” Jungkook changed the subject. Jimin chuckled again, aware that Jungkook was purposely avoiding the topic. “I’ve been okay. Going back to Busan made me realize how confident I am in my decision to drop school and move in with you guys for the time being. Busan is not for me right now.” Jungkook nodded understandably. “I know we’ve said this a million times but you can stay for as long as you’d like. We love having you here.” Jungkook said. Jimin smiled at that. 

Jungkook was having trouble coming up with a way to nonchalantly bring up the topic. “How was the New Year’s party? Did you hang with Yoongi the entire night?” Jimin asked. Jungkook mentally thanked Jimin for bringing up the party as it can lead to the perfect segway to mention Namjoon’s appearance at the party. 

“I did, actually. You know me too well. Yoongi’s my only friend.” Jungkook fake-chuckled. “Did ___ have a good time? At least from what you saw?” Jungkook’s immediate thought was the memory of you and Namjoon in conversation. 

“I think so. She was with Hoseok and his friends the whole night,” He started off. He decided it was a good time to mention Namjoon now. “I saw her with Kim Namjoon too.” He finally said. 

Jimin stopped washing a cup that was in his hand. He paused for a second but remained avoiding eye-contact with Jungkook. “Namjoon was there?” He asked. 

“Yeah, I guess word spread real fast about Yoongi’s and Hoseok’s party.”

Jimin nodded slowly. He didn’t know what to say. “___ and Namjoon were talking?” He asked again.

“Yes. It was an odd sight to see. From what I remember, Namjoon ghosted her after a planned date, right? At least that’s what Taehyung told me. He told me not to mention Namjoon in front of ____ anymore out of concern that it would bother her.” Jungkook continued. 

Jimin managed to look at Jungkook. “Uh, yeah, he did ghost her.” 

Jungkook was debating whether or not to bite the bullet. “Huh,” He said. 

“Do you happen to know why he would do such a thing?” He finally asked. Jimin’s face turned slightly pale. If there was one thing Jungkook knew about Jimin after a decade of friendship, it was that Jimin was a terrible liar, especially under pressure. He breaks easily.

“I have no idea. That’s something Tae and I have been wondering too.” He stuttered slightly. Jimin’s sudden change in demeanor confirmed to Jungkook that Jimin for sure had something to do with the sudden ghosting of Namjoon. Namjoon wasn’t lying to you after all.

Jungkook suddenly felt confident enough to continue pressuring Jimin into telling him the truth now that Jimin was vulnerable enough to crack. 

“Huh. That’s weird.” Jungkook was fake-pondering. Jimin shared a confused glare. “What do you mean?” 

Jungkook shrugged. “I mean, I heard something weird from ___, that’s all.” Jimin turned even paler. The water from the faucet was still running and Jimin was holding the same mug from earlier in his hands. 

“What did she say?” Jimin asked, with his voice getting low. Jungkook confidently gave Jimin a firm stare. His eyes darkening and his amused mood from earlier was dispersing into a somber glare. 

“That you told Namjoon not to go on the date.” 

Jimin remained silent. His silence confirmed it all. 

He remained speechless for another moment before suddenly turning off the sink. His wet hands gripped onto Jungkook’s wrist and he pulled him to the front door. “Let’s take this outside.” He muttered under his breath. 

He dragged him outside of the apartment before softly shutting the door. Jungkook wasn’t scared nor confused. He was eager to hear what Jimin had to say. 

“Explain exactly what she said.” Jimin looked afraid and helpless. His eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes were gleaming with fear and anxiety. 

Jungkook sighed. “According to ___, Namjoon approached her at the party and apologized for not going on the date. He blamed it on you. ___ told me that Namjoon told her it was your doing as to why she got ghosted.” Jungkook explained. 

Jimin ran his sweaty fingers through his hair. “Listen, Kook. I have a good reason as to why I did that. I didn’t do it out of malicious intent towards ____ whatsoever. But I can’t tell you nor can ___ know too. I really can’t.” Jimin pleaded. 

Jungkook shook his head. “Look, I know ___ and I aren’t the bestest of friends but I can feel how confused, shocked, and hurt she is. Imagine finding out that one of her good friends was behind the reason as to why her date got ruined. Especially by the same friend that set her up with the guy in the first place.” Jungkook reasoned. “I don’t know if you noticed but ____ has been a bit distant from you ever since you came back home. I don’t want either of us to live in this kind of uncomfortable environment.” Jungkook continued.

Jimin took a moment to absorb everything Jungkook said. He felt extremely conflicted between doing what he should or shouldn’t do. 

“Do you know if Namjoon told her anything else?” Jimin asked. Jungkook scoffed. “Is that all you care about?” 

“Just tell me, Jungkook.” Jimin snapped. 

After a moment, Jungkook shook his head. “That’s all she and I know.”

Jimin placed his hands onto Jungkook’s shoulders. “Listen to me Kook. What I’m about to tell you, you have to swear and promise me that you are not going to tell a single soul about this, okay?”

Jungkook was suddenly nervous. He didn’t know exactly how to prepare himself for the information he was about to receive. 

“I want to promise that but it really depends on what it is, Jimin. If I think it’s something ___ should know about then I’ll tell her.” 

Jimin shook his head. “I swear to you that this is something that ___ shouldn’t know about. At least for now.”

Jungkook cocked his head to the side, out of confusion. “What is it, Jimin?”

Jimin continued to mentally debate with himself for another minute or so. He kept running his fingers through his hair and letting out exasperated sighs over and over again. 

“No one else knows this, okay? Not even Namjoon,” He starts off. Jungkook was listening patiently.

“I…I told him not to go on that date because of Taehyung.” Jimin says. Jungkook’s entire stomach dropped. “What do you mea-”

“Because… of Taehyung.” He repeats. “Because Taehyung likes ___.” 

Jungkook felt as if he had dissociated from reality for a second. Was this real? Was what Jimin said real? Was he in a dream? “What?” Was all he could bring himself to say.

“Taehyung is in love with ___.” 

[hees-mine]

𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟔 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫! - 𝐋.𝐡𝐬

𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠 ⚥ 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫!

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: smut, unprotected sex, crying, angst, love making, alcohol consumption, fluff cause kinktober isn’t my strong suit💀

“Let me guess, the usual?” The bartender asks with a knowing smirk while he uses the white towel on his hip to clean yet another beer mug.

“You know me so well.” You tilt your head a slight smile just barely reaching your lips.

“Strawberry margarita coming right up.” he clicks his tongue and winks at you before starting your drink. “So, how bad was it?” He asks after a moment of silence.

Turning your attention away from your phone to look at the familiar face of your bartender, you respond. “Excuse me?”

“The breakup, you know.” Within a flash, your drink is sitting in front of you, and you still can’t understand how he always gets it ready so fast. Little did you know he always tried a little harder when it came to your order than the rest of his customers. What can he say? He had a little thing for you.

“How did-“ he quickly cuts you off.

“I know,” he smiles, taking the words right out of your mouth. “Lucky guess,” he shrugs.

“Very lucky, guess.” You eye him, taking a sip of your drink and staring into his eyes over the rim of your glass.

“Want me to be honest?” He wipes down the counter and leans his elbows onto it, meeting your curious gaze as you give him a nod to continue. “Well, I've never seen you before, but just recently, you started to frequent here.” he pauses for a second. “And tell me if I’m wrong, but the puffy eyes the off into space look, and though you’ve been coming here for a whole month, I have yet to see you genuinely smile.”

How the fuck did he know that? or maybe you were just that obvious who knows. “Well, maybe I just lost a family member or a friend.” you throw out other ideas.

“Hmm, possibly.” he taps the counter with his index finger. “But I’ve worked here a long time, and your eyes say heartbroken. Other people who lost family have this almost glazed-over look in their eyes, and no matter how deep you look, there’s still nothing but sorrow.”

So was he a fucking empath or a bartender?

“Okay, or I’m just taking it better than some people.” You don’t know why, but something about someone knowing the exact reason why you frequent the bar late at night was embarrassing. You felt like a typical girl crying over a piece of shit man that never cared about you in the first place.

“You’re good at throwing people off, I give you that,” he smiles. “Thing is, I can see that you want to smile. I can see that beyond those beautiful sparkling eyes of yours, that there’s so much more to you than downing more margaritas than I can count on my hands and feet.” your eyes shift away from his as you sip from your cup to avoid his intimidating gaze. “I can see that you’re broken.” your breath hitches that same annoying prickly feeling in your eyes, making itself known as a single tear rolled down your cheek. “But you can be repaired.” he strokes your cheek, a soft smile on his face while you stare at him helplessly. You just want the pain to go away, anything to distract you from the heartbreak because it’s been eating you from the inside out, and your bartender’s right, you are broken, but in your eyes, you feel broken beyond repair.

“No.” A shaky breath leaves your lips as you lean into his soft yet caring touch.

“One chance. I know it’s so random, but one chance.” he tucks your hair behind your ear, his thumb now lightly tracing your lipline in case you didn’t already know what he meant. “All I’m asking,” he whispers with a heavy heart.

He doesn’t know why, but the first day he laid eyes on you in the bar with mascara running down your cheeks and your quiet, broken sobs while you drowned yourself in alcohol, the only thing he ever wanted was to just see you smile.

And tonight might just be his lucky night.

Opening your eyes to meet his, you sniffle softly and mutter a small. “Okay,” and even though it’s small and barely there, he feels his heart race a million times faster when he sees the tiniest little smile on your face, but it wasn’t forced like the others you gave him in the past to try and make it seem like you were okay no this was real and if you gave him a chance he’d make you smile like that every morning.

𐃯 𐃯 𐃯

It was well past midnight by the time you both left the bar. heeseung drove you home since you had been drinking well, only one margarita but no drinking and driving on his watch.

You had both already entered your home, and you silently led him to your bedroom after taking off your shoes at the door.

He closed your bedroom door behind him, quickly zeroing in on your frame so delicate, fragile, and almost standoffish. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers as he wraps his arms around your midsection, pressing his back against yours softly as he kisses your exposed shoulder, making you shiver cause it’s been a while since you felt a man’s touch.

Trailing his hands upward, he grips the straps of your dress, pulling them down your shoulders and kissing the expanse of your soft neck. “He never called me beautiful,” you whisper as you tilt your head, allowing him to reach even more of your skin.

“He was blind,” he says, slowly pulling down the zipper on the back of your dress. “So blind.” his kisses leave little tingles all over your skin.

Rolling your dress down your waist, he lets it pool around your feet, and his hands immediately find the warmth of your waist. Trailing his hand up, he cups your exposed breast with his left hand, smoothing his thumb over your nipple and kissing the shell of your ear.

The faint sound of moans fills his ears, and he smiles to himself cause he’s the one who’s behind them.

He switched to the other side of your neck, his right hand moving from your waist to your stomach, caressing your smooth skin. “So soft.” he takes his time with you, going slowly cause he knows it’s been a while for you, and he could say the same cause he also had been heartbroken before. That’s why the look in your eyes was so easy for him to detect.

While working his lips on your neck, he pulls his hands away from you to unbutton his dress shirt, letting it hit the floor before back hugging you, letting you feel his warm chest pressed against your naked back. He felt so broad. Just his hold on you made you feel safe as you relaxed further and further into his warm embrace.

Ever so slowly, he drops his palm between your legs, rubbing you through the silky material of your underwear. “Heeseung,” you gasp, feeling the heat of his palm stroking your core.

He moans the moment he feels just how wet you’ve gotten for him, and his kisses on your neck grow needy the longer he hears you moaning for him. “Y/n, I’m right here” he caresses your thigh softly, right hand still rubbing your clit through your panties. “Can I?” He slightly tugs on the crotch part of your panties, and he feels you nod against his shoulder. Without a second passing after your approval, he slips his fingers inside your underwear, running them delicately through your folds. “Y/n,” he whines just below your ear, relishing in the way you feel just on his fingers, and hasn’t even been inside you yet.

“Heeseung, please,” you whimper, legs already giving out from his gentle touch.

The hint is not hard to understand, he knows exactly what you’re asking for, and he turns you around, pressing his lips on yours, finally getting a taste of you and your strawberry daiquiri as he replaces his hands on your lower back while yours play with his belt until it’s undone and his pants drop to his feet.

He gently pulled away from the kiss, picking you up carefully and slowly placing you onto the middle of your bed, seamlessly laying between your legs and dragging the material of your panties down slightly. “This okay?” He checks with you just to make, and you confirm, making him to continue his actions until you’re completely bare in front of him.

You jolted in place the moment you felt his breath hitting your core. His kisses and soft caresses on your thighs made you feel like you were so delicate and precious to him, and you were so so special to him, and you didn’t even know it yet, but when this night ended, you’d definitely know. “Heeseung,” you cry out loud in pleasure when his tongue meets your outer lips. You were in complete shock because you’ve never felt anything like this before.

He stops when he hears just how loud you are, thinking he might have scraped you with his teeth. “I'm sorry, you okay?” He kissed your mound, hands still continuously rubbing soft circles on your legs.

“Yeah, I just never..” you trailed off, and now that you think about it, the idea that your boyfriend never even did what a stranger was doing for you made you feel even more terrible about your relationship with that piece of shit.

Heeseung swears he misheard you cause what type of fucking idiot wouldn’t want to pleasure a sweet, beautiful woman like you? “He missed out.” he starts out using his finger to collect your arousal and slowly pushes it in. “Cause you’re the sweetest thing my tongue ever tasted” Without missing a beat, his mouth hovers over your core, softly licking your hooded clit as he works his finger in deeper and deeper.

Gripping onto the sheets with one hand, your other goes to pet his hair, rubbing your fingers over his scalp, making his eyes flutter shut while he savors every last drop of you.

Closing your eyes, you allow yourself to indulge in a new type of pleasure, one that you enjoy beyond words. You fall so deep into bliss you don’t even notice his second finger going in alongside his other, that is, until he starts curling them up, hitting your spot and making you see literal stars.

The tighter you grip his fingers, he knows the closer you’re getting, and he can’t wait to give you the orgasms that your precious body deserves.

When you pant, his name breathless and needy, he feels the repeated clench, and he sucks on your clit just a bit harder to heighten the pleasure of your high, still carefully working his fingers deep inside you, he moans into your heat when your hold on his hair gets a bit rougher, but he doesn’t mind he loves your raw reaction to the pleasure he gives you.

Humming at your taste, he slowly pulls his fingers out of your soaked core, replacing them with his tongue so he can swallow your juices, giving you the full experience and showing you what a real man does for a woman when he really loves and appreciates her.

When your moans turned to soft whimpers, and your body shook ever so slightly, he pulled away from you but not before placing a soft few kisses on the delicious, delicate area.

Seconds later, your sounds are ones of sadness. Your moans turn into quiet sobs, and he immediately hovers over you, scanning your face with worry. “Did I do something wrong?” He asks, worried as he calmly strokes your cheek, and he looks like he’s seconds away from crying, too.

You cry even harder than before because he was worried over something he didn’t even do. You were so overwhelmed by pleasure, but you could still feel the pain in the deepest part of you because your own boyfriend never treated you half as good as heeseung did.

“Y/n? I can g-go if you want me to,” he starts getting ready to get off the bed, feeling his heart drop at the thought of leaving you like this, but if he made you uncomfortable in any way, he didn’t want to stay.

“No,” you quickly grab his biceps, holding him in place.

“Please tell me what’s wrong.” he strokes your tears away with his thumb, only for new ones to quickly replace them as tears well in his own eyes. He hated seeing you cry. He saw it every night for the past month, and it hurt him just a little bit more every time.

“I promise it’s not you.” you rubbed his biceps softly, calming his nerves a little. “It’s just I’m not used to this,” you say, referring to how he was treating you. “My ex neve-“

“Shh,” he shushes you and shakes his head back and forth softly. He wasn’t gonna let you go another night crying over some fucking asshole that didn’t deserve you or your tears. “Forget about him and focus on me.” he stares into your eyes, hoping you can see the anger towards your ex, the sadness for you, but most importantly, the care that they held for you. “I’ll make you forget, I promise.” he kissed your forehead softly. “Take all your tears away.” he kissed your temple and finally kissed your lips as he whispered. “Let me show you what it’s like to be loved. Let me repair you, and you can repair me.” A single tear falls from his eyes, and you quickly wipe it away to press your lips against his.

“Repair me.” that’s all he needed to hear before leaning up to take his underwear off, bearing everything to you like you did with him, being vulnerable with you just like you were with him.

“Thank you,” he whispers on your lips as his hands roam your sides, your hips, your chest, your legs. He was touching you all over, replacing every last inch of your skin with his handprint and his marks of love, as do you, with him, your dainty fingers strumming his chest, back, and thighs, pulling him closer to your body with want, need, and desire.

His bulge brushes against your core over and over again. As he circles his hips, your face grows hot, and a thin layer of sweat forms between you two, sticking you both together as breathless moans are exchanged between one another.

Your hand shimmed down below his waistline at the same time as his. You both chuckled softly, and his heart felt so full hearing you genuinely laugh.

“Ready?” He exhaled a long breath, touching his forehead with yours. A low hum of approval was all he needed to slowly ease his way inside, guiding his tip past your prepped walls and finally indulging in the blissful feeling that you’ve both been waiting for.

His mouth parts open in a gasp-like moan, as does yours. Both of you are too overwhelmed to speak. All that comes out are quick little breaths and pleasurable gasps.

Your face twists in pleasure, and your hands cling to his waist as he cards his fingers through your hair and cups your cheek. “Y/n,” he moans deeply, and it’s the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard.

He makes more than a hundred different facial expressions. Just with the slightest thrust, he can feel every single nerve ending, and it makes him feel so drunk off you.

“Heeseung,” you breathe into his mouth, heart racing in your chest from the fullness you felt as he bottomed out, reaching the deepest part of you, overtaking that empty feeling and replacing it with absolute pleasure.

Hooking your legs around his waist, you grip him for support because you feel like you’re slipping when he gets lost in your silky walls.

With every thrust, he watches your face, and as he speeds up, he can’t help but grow flustered at the sounds your conjoined bodies make, and you’re not much better off the both of you shyly hiding in the crooks of each other’s necks.

“You’re so perfect.” he barely gets the words out before he’s whimpering in your ear.

The words he says make it feel as if time has stopped, and in that moment, it’s just you and him alone in the safeness of your bedroom with nothing but the feeling of hurt, passion, and longing for something more.

Every stroke brings you closer and makes you forget. And every tight squeeze rids his mind of nothing but you and this moment.

You’re both getting close, and his hand goes down to your clit, massaging it in perfect circles while both of you moan continuously at the feeling of each other.

Safe, connectedness and love are what you both felt before tipping over that beautiful edge of pleasure and allowing yourselves to get lost in the sea of blissfulness.

You both hold tightly onto one another, making each other your safe place where you can let everything go.

Heads still clouded and full with contentment, heeseung attaches his lips to yours in a soft, delicate kiss, and when he pulls away from you to look into your soft eyes, he feels all the shattered parts of his broken heart piecing back together, and he blinds you with a beautiful bright beaming smile.

“Thank you,” you whisper as you both stroke each other's face adoringly. “For repairing me.”

Thanks for reading please reblog and leave feedback!

[dbnightingale24]

The Dog House Isn’t The Best, But It Can Still Be Our Home

Final installment to 'Pavlov's Dog'

~~

Part 3

~~

I told you guys I'd post it at some point 🥴 I'm honestly so sorry this took so long to post, but last year got really dark for me and everything just kind of took a backseat. Thank you so much for your patience, and thank you to all of you who checked up on me. It means more than I'll ever be able to express. Thank you @fuckingbye for being an amazing friend, and for also making this amazing moodboard. You are a saint and I love to the ends of the earth. Without further ado, here's the final chapter!

Word Count: 71,942 (yes, you read that correctly)

Warnings: SMUT (MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY), Public Sex, Semi Public Sex, Drinking, Smoking, Swearing, Daddy Kink, Angst, Heartbreak, Mild Violence, FLUFF, Lying, Betrayal...I think that's it?

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: Will You Take Me Back In The Morning If I Promise To Never Act This Way Again?

I do not give consent/permission for my works/stories to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

~~

“You can’t keep going on like this, babe,” Daisy sighs sympathetically as she takes a seat next to the bathtub.

“It doesn’t matter,” you shrug as you take a drag of your cigarette, “none of it fucking matters.”

“Babe, it’s been two weeks. You do the same thing every day. You get up, eat the smallest bit of food, you sit out on your back deck and smoke until you decide to start drinking, then you draw yourself a bath and drink and smoke in it until you decide it’s too cold, or I come and get you. You can’t keep doing this.”

“I don’t even have a reason to be mad at him, do I?” you scoff incredulously before taking a drag from your cigarette, “it’s not like he lied. He didn’t even know, so I have no reason to be this upset, do I?”

“He was a complete and total asshole,” she states firmly, “and you have every reason to be upset with his actions. Yeah, it was a shit show, but he definitely could’ve handled it better.”

“The shit he said right in front of that child, even if it isn’t his, were so fucking cruel! No child deserves to be spoken to like that, and he of all people should know that!”

“Babe-”

“After everything we talked about on that trip...it’s like it didn’t even matter to him. He didn’t even care.”

“I’m sure he was just shocked-”

“That’s not an excuse, Dais.”

“I never said it was, but c’mon: it’s Ransom. You really think he was thinking clearly? Linda and Marta were there and I’m more than sure he was afraid of losing you, then Marta drops a fucking bomb on him, and it sounds like she did it on purpose, if I’m honest. Just to fuck him over.”

“Daisy, I just-”

“BABY, PLEASE ANSWER THE DOOR AND TALK TO ME!” Ransom calls desperately as he bangs on your front door.

Like clockwork.

“Why can’t he understand that I need time? I don’t owe him shit,” you start to sniffle as your tears fall, and you grab the bottle of tequila that lives by the bathtub now, and take a long drink from it.

“I’ll get rid of him, just please...please get up and do something,” Daisy begs desperately.

“Ya know, you’re wrong,” you say as she reaches the doorway, finally looking at her, “I put on makeup today,” you smile weakly.

She lets out a humorless laugh before disappearing and you hear her footsteps quickly making their way downstairs.

Since everything that took place on his doorstep, you haven’t spoken to or seen him. You don’t know what to say or how to handle the situation. He’s been calling and texting non-stop since it all happened, and every two days he comes by to visit, and Daisy tells him to leave you alone every time.

But you can’t keep avoiding him.

No, you don’t know what the right thing to do is, but you know that avoiding him is the wrong thing, and you can’t keep letting Daisy handle these issues for you. You have to at least speak to him, but say what? Do what? It’s not like you have any real right to be mad at him. It’s not like he cheated on Marta with you, he didn’t cheat on you with her, he clearly didn’t know he had a child so he didn’t keep it from you, and he did defend you to Linda. However, that doesn’t change the things he said to that child.

Possibly his child.

“He’s not my son and this isn’t fucking funny!”

“We can take a test if you want, but he is your son!”

“Well, I don’t want him! You wait...however many years to tell me about him, and you sure as shit don’t need any money, so why now?!”

“He deserves to know who his Father is, Ransom! He’s a Drysdale and-”

“Watch it,” Ransom warns with a foreboding tone.”

God, how could he be so cruel to a child, after all of the talks you two have had? He’s always cruel though, isn’t he? To you, to Marta, his own son (the resemblance is too strong for that boy to not to be his child), and fuck it, even Jack. He can’t ever seem to control his temper and, if he can’t do that, what chance do you two have together?

Still, he owns your heart and you don’t know how to get it back at this point. You don’t know and you don’t wanna know.

“Ransom, you have to stop coming around!” you hear Daisy yell, and you sigh before taking another drink from the bottle.

“You can’t stop me from me seeing her, Daisy! She’s my girlfriend!” 

“Bullshit! You two never made it official-”

“Daisy, stay out of it! Let me see her!”

“No! She’s not ready to see you and you can’t force-”

“I’m not forcing anything-”

“What do you think this is?! Showing up because she won’t answer your calls or texts, and demanding to see her?! Leave her alone!”

“You can’t stop me-”

“Let him in!” you call, lighting a cigarette as you use your tip toes to turn the water back on, and heat up your water just a bit.

Who the hell knows how this is gonna go?

You hear the both of them speedily stomping up the steps, but Daisy get there first and says, “are you sure? You don’t have to-”

“I can’t keep letting you fight my battles,” you smile weakly at her as you turn the water off.

“Babe-”

“I have to deal with this at some point. I can do this,” you all but mumble not believing yourself as you take a drag of your cigarette.

“I’ll be in the room over,” she sighs softly before turning, “fuck you Drysdale!”

“Fuck you!”

You hear her slap him and shake your head. Nothing can ever be simple, can it?

“Sweet Thing, please-” he starts as soon as he makes his way into your bathroom.

“Ransom...don’t,” you quickly interrupt. “This isn’t just some small disagreement.”

“I didn’t even know I had a child!”

“I could’ve dealt with that, Ransom! It would’ve taken some time, but I honestly could’ve dealt with that! It’s the way you spoke about him in front of him!”

“I don’t want him!”

“You didn’t have to say it in front of him! Jesus, it’s not his fault that you’re a selfish bastard! He didn’t ask to be born, and Marta-”

“She did this out of spite! Not because she wants me to be apart the child’s-”

“Be that as it may, he didn’t do anything! Basically telling her that she has no right calling him a Drysdale, when he is in fact a Drysdale! Ransom, I know you’re rough around the edges, but for fucks sake! All the talks we’ve had about our own fucked up childhoods and you do this?! You just...I don't fucking get it with you, Ransom!”

“What is there to get?! We fucking talked about this, Y/N! I’m not-”

“That’s no excuse for this! You took it too far and I...Ransom, I can’t-”

“Don’t you fucking say it,” he warns as his eyes start welling up with tears. “Don’t you fucking say that to me!”

“Ransom...I love you, but I can’t be the only good thing in your life. The only person you like,” you sob, sitting up and ashing your cigarette in the ash tray resting on the little table near by.

“WHY NOT?!”

“It’s too much fucking pressure! It’s too much pressure, and I can’t keep watching you be terrible to people because you had a rough childhood! You having a rough go of it doesn’t mean you get to walk all over people for the rest of your life!”

“Listen, give it a few days and you’ll see-”

“No, Ransom. This is done. I can’t do this with you anymore. You have to grow up at some point, and I refuse to mother you.”

“Y/N...you’ll see...you don’t mean it. You always say you’re done and you come back-”

“I can’t anymore. All of this just hurts too much. You keep finding new ways to hurt me, even when you don’t mean to, and I just...you’re cruel, Ransom. You’re cruel, you’re a bully, and you will hurt anyone by doing anything. I know there’s good in you, because you’ve let me see it time and time again, but you refuse to let others in, even in the slightest and I just...please don’t call me anymore,” you sob pathetically. “Don’t call, don’t text, don’t come by...we’re done.”

“You don’t mean this-”

“Don’t make it harder than it has to be, please. Just let me go,” you beg softly as you wipe your eyes.

“You’ll see. In a week or so, you’ll see and I’ll be waiting. I’ll wait and everything will be as it should, again,” he smiles weakly, wiping his own eyes.

“Ransom-”

“I’ll call you in a few weeks, okay, Sweet Thing,” he promises, making his way over to the bathtub. “I love you and I’ll talk to you.”

He cups your face and kisses you passionately and you’re so tempted to pull him into the tub with you, but you know you’ve got to stop. You left one toxic relationship just to jump into a different type of toxic relationship.

“Ransom,” you breathe once you two break apart, “please-”

“I’ll talk to you in a few weeks,” he promises with a sniffle before standing up and walking out.

“Ransom-”

“I’ll see you in a few weeks,” he repeats, his voice cracking as he continues on his way out.

Daisy is back inside and by your side instantly, climbing into the tub and holding you close as you cry uncontrollably, as you try to come to terms with the choice you’ve just made. Yeah, he’s right in saying that you always come back, but that’s not the case this time.

You need to stay away from him for good.

The fact that he has it in his head that all of this will be sorted out in a few weeks, lets you know that this is only the calm before the storm. As both you and Daisy lean back into the tub, and she holds you close while you cry into her shoulder, there’s only one question going through your head:

How the hell are you supposed to quit the love of your life?

**

4 Years Later...

~~

You can read the rest of the story here

~~

taglist: @whiskeytangofoxtrot555, @companionjones, @autumnrose40, @fuckingbye, @pono-pura-vida, @nomadstucky, @mazda098, @chemtrails-club, @bree-lyrie, @mjey12, @charlottiedawson, @fenixstar , @thickania

[lovekz]

what does he have that I don’t?

syn -> rindou is in shambles after you reject him.

warnings : heartbroken, rindou has low self esteem, angst, no happy ending, not proofread

-

“I’m sorry, I don’t like you like that.”

six words rindou dreaded hearing.

he stood before you, holding a basket of your favorite things and a stupid teddy bear.

just to hear those words leave your mouth.

embarrassment settles in before heartbreak does.

he’d gone all out, gone to all your favorite places and even got advice from ran.

to hear you say those words, and watch your face make that goddamn expression.

it looked like you were disgusted with him, just a little bit.

the basket hangs by his thigh, rindou unable to swallow.

“I-I have a boyfriend already.” you whispered to him, moving closer.

he stops you in his tracks when he tosses the basket into the sidewalk.

the bear is now dirty, and the sweets scatter all over the floor.

the candle shattered into pieces.

rindou walks away. the walk of shame, he thinks.

he can hear you calling after him, but he doesn’t turn around for you.

why didn’t he know you had someone?

why had everyone always been so much better than him each time?

he walked all the way home in silence, and even then he slouched on the doorstep.

he couldnt go inside.

ran would tease the absolute shit out of him.

-

“rindou! come out!” ran called, banging on his brother’s door.

when rindou made it in the house, he went straight to his room and didn’t come out until he had to pee or brush his teeth.

and shower, of course.

ran wasn’t sure if he was eating, or what had happened.

but he got a pretty good idea when he realized you had stopped coming over.

you rejected him, and you weren’t nice about it.

in his eyes at least.

rindou won’t respond, won’t even make a noise.

after his shower, he’d just sit in his bed and stare at his torn up room.

wondering why he couldn’t be better and what was wrong with him.

what made you give him that look?

was he ugly? did he have boogers?

or was it just his face that was so unattractive that you possibly lied?

ran had given up trying to reach rindou after a few days, letting mope in his room by himself.

but today, ran was actually leaving the house.

a few knocks on his door caught his attention, not like he cared though.

he won’t leave.

“I don’t know if you’re awake rin.. but I’m going to izana’s house. you’ll have the house to yourself. I’ll bring you back food if you want?” ran suggested.

when he didn’t receive a response, ran sighed and began walking down the steps.

a door opening caught his attention, making the older turn around.

rindou was standing there, dressed with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

him being in pajamas was besides the point.

“can I come with you?” rindou asked quietly.

if ran knew inviting him to izana’s house would get him out the room, he would’ve done it ages ago.

-

when they get there, izana immediately beams at the sight of rindou.

“dude where’ve you been? I’ve been texting and calling.” izana complains, letting them in.

rindou doesn’t respond to him, immediately walking into the living room and sitting in the free seat next to kakucho.

izana’s brothers, mikey and shinichiro, were sitting on the couch playing cod.

rindou gives a short greeting, and offers a fist bump to kakucho.

ran slouches on the floor beside izana, having idle conversation about something rindou doesn’t bother to understand.

it’s only when izana finishes talking, he notices his brothers.

“what the hell? why are you playing my game?!” izana complains, looking at the two.

“just chill izana. I’m gonna get off when my girl gets here.” mikey says idly, never looking away from the game.

kakucho had only given shinichiro the controller so he could try.

izana rolls his eyes and slouches in his seat, complaining lowly under his breath.

the door bell rings loudly and mikey launches the controller at izana, who catches it.

the boy damn near dies going to open it, a big smile on his face.

rindou hears the two talking, before the conversation grows louder.

although his attention is on the tv, he knows your voice pretty well.

your supposed boyfriend was mikey, izana’s brother.

and of course, you notice him desperately hiding in kakucho’s shadow.

“rindou?” you call quietly, blinking to see if you’d seen correct.

he nods, not offering you a glance or a greeting.

he doesn’t know if his heart could handle it.

“you guys know each other?” mikey asks, looking between the two of you.

“no.” “yes.” the two of you say in sync, rindou’s heart swelling even more.

you look upset that rindou had claimed he hadn’t known you, which he obviously has.

izana had put two and two together, sitting next to ran and nudging him with his jaw on the floor.

everyone knew the two of you knew each other, except for mikey himself.

“we know each other. can I talk to you for a sec?” you say, a hint of hurt in your voice.

rindou sighs quietly, before stepping outside to talk with you.

ran calls for a group huddle immediately.

-

the two of you sit outside, waiting for one another to speak.

though rindou doesn’t have anything to say.

you sigh, taking a deep breath and being the bigger person.

“where have you been?” you start off, looking at him from your knees.

“been home.” rindou responds, not too interested in the conversation.

you squint your eyes in confusion.

you had been over to the haitani house multiple times and never got a response from him.

it was always ran answering or no one at all.

“I’ve been calling. and visiting you.” you explain, frowning a bit.

“phones dead.” rindou shrugs, leaning back into the seat and rocking it back and forth.

not only had rindou broken his charger, but he broke his phone after realizing.

it was one of the many reasons he hasn’t answered anyone’s texts or calls.

though even if it wasn’t broken, he’s sure he’d just watch it ring like he did on the first day.

he didn’t wanna upset you with his face again

“why did you say you don’t know me?” you questioned, growing aggravated.

“cause I don’t.” rindou responds, still sounding uninterested.

but the more you listen, it doesn’t sound like he’s uninterested.

it sounds like he isn’t there, emotionally or mentally.

maybe even physically, but you weren’t sure.

“don’t you have a sentence to say? not two or three words?” you scoff, looking at him more offended than you ever have.

“what does he have that I don’t?” rindou questions, finally growing aggravated with you.

you stay silent, looking at rindou with shock.

it was the first time tonight he had looked at you, and he looked like he was in pain.

he definitely wasn’t as there as you thought he was before this.

he looked faded, like he wasn’t paying attention.

and maybe he wasn’t.

“rin-“ “what is it? does he treat you better? does he dress better? is he funnier? huh?” rindou cuts you off, listing things.

he was rambling now.

talking about mikey’s haircut, his bike, his gang, his face shape, his height, anything that could come to mind.

only you realize that he started to cry in the middle of it.

you had really hurt his feelings, just by saying a few words and making a face.

he stops in the middle of, hiding his face in his hands.

you rub his back as he cried, not sure of what else to do to help him.

“how long have you been together?” rindou asks, curious and having a clear enough head.

“..a month, but I’ve known him since september.” you whisper, sniffing to yourself.

rindou nodded, standing up from his seat.

“I have loved you for a year, seven months, and ten days. you’ve only known him for two.” rindou states, not sparing you a glance.

he doesn’t wait for a response, beginning to walk back into the house.

you grab his arm, stilling him in his spot. you didn’t want him to go.

“are you okay rindou?” you questioned, frowning at his facial expression.

he looked completely gone.

he pauses for a minute, before snatching his arm out of your desperate hands.

“your boyfriend is waiting.” rindou says, before walking back into the house and leaving you outside.

the breeze picks up, making you wonder if you made the right choice.

-

when rindou walks in the house, he’s alone.

emma’s in the kitchen, stirring something in a new pot.

she wasn’t there when rindou walked in the first time, but he couldn’t be sure.

he had his head down to look at his shoes and count his steps.

she notices him immediately though, beaming a smile at him.

“hey rindou. heard you weren’t feeling well, so I’m making soup.” emma says, gesturing to the pot.

rindou nods, offering her a smile. “thank you emma, but you don’t have to.” rindou replied.

emma shakes her head and shoos him away.

she reminds him of his mother sometimes when she does little things like this.

rindou makes his way upstairs to izana’s room, ignoring the eyes watching him from the living room.

it was mikey, rindou realized. but it hadn’t mattered.

rindou knew he didn’t stand a chance.

when he makes it to izana’s room, they were all laying around relaxing.

“oh hey rin. how’d it go?” kakucho said, looking up at him.

rindou shrugs, dropping on the floor next to izana.

izana nudges him playfully, shooting him a smile.

“em’s making that soup you like.” izana saids, wiggling his shoulders.

“I know.” rindou says, leaning his head back a bit.

ran doesn’t say anything, sprawled out on izana’s bed with his hands folded over his stomach.

and it’s best that he doesn’t.

“don’t worry rin. 10 years from now, she’s gonna have five kids and be miserable.” izana says, nudging him again.

the sound of it makes rindou chuckle.

he’ll just have to pray he can get over you.

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

Hey, Cee!💗Congrats on your amazing milestone!👏I’m rather new to the family, still making my way through your master list and I enjoy it a lot😊 For the sleepover I’d like to request a micro drabble if you’d be so kind - Roommates Au with Dieter Bravo 🙌 What a nightmare!😅

Hi lovely! I'm so glad you're here and I hope you're having a good time with my Pedro boys 😘 So this one ran away from me, I'm very sorry if this wasn't what you were hoping for, but I've been itching to write for a younger Dieter, and this is what came out.

Dieter Bravo x Roommates AU

Fuck Yeah 2222 Sleepover micro drabble request | 1000ish words (sorry) | warnings: mature themes but not explicit, mentions of drug use, angst, hopeful ending

You're not sure how you ended up sharing an apartment with Dieter Bravo.

Honestly, calling this dumpster fire of a studio above a laundromat/dealer's den an apartment is a kindness it does not deserve.

You tried in the beginning. You painted the walls a soothing buttercup that has long peeled off in patches. You fixed the table with the crooked leg so it doesn't wobble when you eat discounted sandwiches on it. You even bought potted plants, dotting trellises of green throughout the small space to give it some semblance of life (that quickly expired from lack of daylight).

But then one day, your college boyfriend, your supposed ride-or-die, left for an audition and never came back.

The next morning, Dieter Bravo showed up on your doorstep, a beat-up weekender bag at his feet. He looked bored even then, wearing an unaffected nonchalance like he does his favourite green robe. 'Some dude I met an an audition yesterday said there's a cheap room for rent?'

Except there's not really a room. There's a bed in the corner with a privacy curtain around it like a fucking hospital ward, and there's a fold-out couch on the other side of the tiny space.

Dieter lets you take the bed.

You don't bother getting to know your new roommate, too wrapped up in the cotton wool of your heartbreak and a blind determination to make it. Honestly, you'd struggle to pick him out from a lineup.

All you know is that he's messy, but he consciously contains that mess to his side of the studio. It's like there's a glass wall holding back his dirty clothes and mismatched shoes from spilling into the shared kitchen. He's also bad at clearing out the fridge, always forgetting the discounted Cheddar he seems to have a fondness for, but always leaves rotting at the back of the dairy shelf.

He doesn't complain when you throw his shit out though, and you don't mind cleaning up after him.

You're ships in the night, each pulling as many shifts as possible in between auditions to stay alive in this money-guzzling, soul-crushing city.

By the time you come home well after midnight, the only sign that another person lives with you is the occasional Chinese takeout he leaves out on the (still wobbly) table if the buffet place he works at gives him leftovers.

In your rush to leave for your first shift one morning, you accidentally make too much coffee, which you leave on the counter for when he returns from his graveyard stint. A few more accidents later, you start making enough for two out of habit.

The first time you actually share space in the studio is maybe five months into your not-quite-cohabitation. It's been a tough day - two rejections after third-round auditions, and a drunk customer spilled Jack and Coke onto your favourite white top, which will definitely leave a stain.

You let yourself into the studio quietly, not bothering with the lights. Stripping down to your underwear, you're about to head into the bathroom when you hear it.

Just above the thumping bass of the illicit nightclub across the street, and the whirr of the industrial-sized washing machines under your feet, is the unmistakable squeak squeak squeak of old springs in the fold-out couch.

You freeze. Someone else is in the apartment with you.

A breathy, distinctly female moan reaches your ear, but a vicious blare of a car horn promptly drowns it out.

Holy fuck. Dieter is fucking some girl not ten steps across the studio, with nothing but the flimsy curtain around your bed separating you.

Suddenly hyperaware, you hear everything. The heavy, loaded slap of skin on skin. Shallow breaths muted in the curve of a neck. The low timbre of his voice, whispers of words that you can't make out - but you know that it's filthy by the way the fold-out creaks under the motion of quickening thrusts, and the desperate cry from the woman, quickly muffled.

You know exactly the moment he cums - there's a sudden stillness, a suspension of time, like everything is on tiptoes - and then three long, drawn-out thumps of the couch hitting the wall.

Then all goes quiet.

You can barely open your eyes the next morning when you trudge to the bathroom in just a threadbare sleep shirt and underwear. The door opens without you noticing, and you walk nose first into a broad, wet chest.

You open your mouth to apologise, but no words come out as you tip your chin upwards.

Dieter Bravo has brown eyes, hooded by deep set lids. He will change a lot in the years to come, as fame and drugs take hold - but one thing that does not is the way your breath hitches when he looks at you. Really looks at you.

His curls are long and unruly when dry, but wet and slicked back, the contours of his profile are more pronounced, and your eyes slide down the strong bridge of his nose and linger on the plush lips under a moustache that seems almost fastidiously tidy compared to the rest of him. It's the one constant when everything else in his life is anything but.

Dieter Bravo will be many things to you over the next fifteen years. Lover, boyfriend, ex, stranger, co-star, friend, friend with benefits, fiancé, ex, fiancé once again -

But he was your roommate first. And that morning, in the doorway to the tiny shower, your tits inadvertently pressed up against his bare chest, the wet towel wrapped around his narrow hips brushing your bare thighs, he smiles at you for the first time.

And when things get difficult down the line, because by god, do they get difficult - you hold on to that smile.

You hold onto him. Sometimes you have to, literally, wrapping your whole body around his through withdrawal shakes, and you whisper in his ear to remind him of how far you've both come from that dumpster fire of a studio above the laundromat/dealer's den -

Which you're kind enough to call an apartment.

[imaginespazzi]

Nivi, bestie – first of all, an update exactly a week later? I’m so proud and we’re so spoiled! It was the best thing to wake up to this morning (my morning 😅) so thank you for that!

Starting off strong with Stephie throwing Colleen under the bus when she didn’t even do anything wrong but be boring LMAO, I love this kid so much.

Azzi realising that her kid is also not immune to the Paige Bueckers charm, like mother like daughter.

I know Thalia’s so done with Paige lol, like she out there just doing her job and doing it well, and yet she’s stuck with her dumbass client (affectionate) whose personal life is perhaps just a little too complicated.

That one-year contract boutta create a fountain of angst huh?

Not Stephie hitting the gym and lifting them weights! A fictional 5-yr old is putting me to shame, you hate to see it 😩

But oh my god, it’s crazy how much she loves P already and vice versa. Although, at this point, I’m just as attached to Stephie as Paige is, blondie’s not special 😒

“I missed you,” Stephie confesses, “did you miss me?” – Like this??? I can’t handle their cuteness omg.

And our first Pazzi + Stephie scenes – PERFECTION.

What would we do without kids and their lack of filter? Stephie is gonna bring these two idiots back together, brick by brick, revelation by revelation, and one innocent, inquisitive question at a time.

I cackled at Paige being insecure of what Stephie might think about her ice cream order lmao, like girl stand up! And then finding out they both have the same favourite flavour? Yep, that’s it, Paige you ARE the other parent!

“So do you wanna be a boring old tree or do you wanna be a big, strong Husky who bleeds blue?” – Um, this is leading the witness, your honour! But like a very valid point was made cause who does wanna be a boring old tree?

OK well if y’all still think that the other is the prettiest, most beautiful of them all, well then now KISS.

A Tim and Paige interaction – we CHEERED (and cried a lil)! And baby Stephie and P! Not Tim just handing Stephie over and leaving them, he’s prolly like “well shit, this really should be your baby too anyway” 😭

Now this last bit, Nivi, imma just live in denial for a little while longer okay? Cause it was a diamond ring! I didn’t hear or read anything about a wedding band. And no, I will choose to ignore this person being called ���wife”. Cause I’m not ready to accept the fact that P might have been married to anyone else other than Azzi! 😤

But then the revelation of Azzi saying no to marrying P? That was the real dagger 💔

What’s next?

Imma sound like a broken record and I’ll keep saying it but scenes with Stephie are just too precious. I LIVE for them and will continue to do so.

I can’t wait for when she finally gets to cheer for her two favourite players courtside. OH and imagine during a post-game presser with Azzi and Paige, and Azzi brings Stephie along and she immediately goes to sit on P’s lap instead of Azzi’s and they’re both just in their own little world while Azzi tries to actually answer the questions, and everyone in the media plus the public is absolutely eating. it. up.

Speaking of Stephie and P though, “And Paige would never willingly hurt Stephie…but that doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t break her heart any way.” Is this foreshadowing that I see here, Nivi? You’re already gonna make me suffer through potential Drew and Azzi angst and now we might have to go through Stephie and Paige angst too at some point??

On top of that, I just know the flashback to Azzi turning down marriage with P or however that played out is gonna be heartbreaking AF. It’s all just gonna be too much for my fragile little heart to handle (but I’m secretly gonna love all of it cause you know how much I love my angst).

The happy ending will make it all ok though. Side note: I’m getting too much ‘the 1’ undertones, and that makes me stress a lil, but I know you wouldn’t do that to us 😌

Oh and I guess we’re gonna find out more about the “wife” eventually… (Nivi: It’s- Us: For the plot 😭)

MOST IMPORTANTLY, I just thought about the moment Paige has to spell something in front of Stephie, pray for her 🙏

And lastly, these lyric/song choices, Nivi! You’re really taking us back huh. My favourite nostalgic writer for a reason.

Favourite line/quote:

Azzi has always been the brightest star, at least in Paige’s galaxy, and she can’t help but let the next words slip through her lips, “she still is.”

As always, thank you for sharing your talents, we don’t deserve you 🥹💗 Enjoy the rest of your week, bestie, catch you soon!

-🙋‍♀️

BESTIEEEE! Can you believe I actually did that lmao? But yeah I would not get used to daily Monday updates because we all know me and procrastination.

#FreeColleen cause not only does this poor woman have to deal with Paige and Azzi's bullshit for the second time, she's also being unfair antagonized by a five-year old

Thalia and Colleen are gonna needa go out for drinks at some point with the way their clients are behaving

I love how everyone caught the foreshadowing with the one-year contract tee hee <3

Paige and Stephie are the definition of it's not blood that makes a bond and I adore writing the two of them together

LMAO sorry for the shade Stanford but unfortunately this is a #BleedBlue household for life and it just felt very true to Paige

AH I'm glad you liked the Tim and Paige interaction cause I know that was one of your ideas and it felt right to add it in. He looked at Paige was like "wait a minute why am I taking care of *your* child" and just dipped fr

TRUST ME! It will all make sense eventually!

There will definitely be more Stephie like I doubt we'll ever have a completely Stephie-less chapter

THAT'S SO CUTE OH MY GOD. We have a little bit of a while before we get into the season but I'm totally stealing that cause I love watching press conferences with kids.

Well if she hurts Stephie's Mama...

I'm so excited to write that flashback, y'all don't even know like I actually do have a little bit of that planned out and mayhaps there's more to it than just marriage...guess you'll find out!

LMAO I've got y'all scared with all my "the 1" references. I was gonna use it as lyrics but I figure y'all might actually lose it before you read it if I did that.

AHAHAHA poor Paige is gonna learn to spell just for Stephie

Lowkey been listen to my Nostalgia playlist while writing because honestly the single parent x ex trope feels very rooted in that era so a lot of the lyrics probably will me from around that time.

As always thank you for making me smile by paying my inbox a vist. It's always a good day when I check and you're here <3

[hotcryptidsinyourarea]

Falling for the Frogman of Loveland, Ohio

story synopsis: Molly is a 30-something cookbook editor who has decided to move from New York to Loveland, Ohio after a bad breakup and a desire for a fresh start. She is instantly attracted to her neighbor Jeremiah's midwestern charms, but this local guy is much more than meets the eye...

human (she/her) + interdimensional humanoid frogman (he/him)

cw: aint-shit brooklyn hipster ex-boyfriend. millennial real estate angst. Ohio.

Chapter 1

I never thought in a million years I would end up in Ohio of all places. I’ve always fancied myself a real City Girl type. I grew up in the Houston metro area where I was more likely to be perusing the Galleria or eating sushi than I was engaging in any of the more agrarian behaviors outsiders assume Texans are wont to do but largely don’t. And then as soon as I graduated, I made my way to New York to officially start my life in the city I would never leave, as far as I was concerned.

But after 14 years of scraping by, 14 years of overpriced rent and skipping meals in order to afford the bills, I’ve had enough. I sold my furniture, wrapped up my loose ends, and made a break to escape the rat race. 

Okay, maybe I’m not some maverick refusing to buy into the capitalist hustle. My grand escape from New York is a little less Snake Plimson and more desperate-slash-dumped. I was supposed to move in with my boyfriend Mark, the gorgeous and brilliant photographer I had been seeing for three whole years. My lease with my last roommate was coming to an end, so Mark and I decided to do what grown ups supposedly do and finally get a place together to embark on the whole domestic bliss thing. I was absolutely looking forward to having someone to split expenses with, but even more so it felt like I was finally becoming a real adult. Moving in with your boyfriend in New York is, as far as lifestyle accomplishments go, the equivalent of getting married and having kids for people in the burbs. And I was ready to start this next chapter of my life knowing I was on track with the milestones expected of me. 

Unfortunately, Mark was not ready. At the big age of 36, he came to the conclusion that he didn’t know himself well enough to get tied down to a life of commitment– or even the eighteen months our lease would occupy. “There’s so much I still want to do,” he said. “It would be unfair to you if I was here physically, when my heart and soul are somewhere else,” he said. I wanted to deck him.  

Honestly, I can get over the rejection from a man who was self-admittedly only half present, but his dumping me put me in a position far more precarious than heartbreak: sitting there with just six weeks to find an affordable place to live in New York City. Not impossible, mind you, but a significant burden where I will absolutely be forced to make concessions regarding what I want. I was looking down the barrel of a too much for too little housing situation that I’d be stuck in for the foreseeable future. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that I would end up in a street level roach motel with a toilet in the kitchen for no less than $4000/month. 

But after a few hours online searching for options, the algorithm gods smiled down upon me. I was scrolling through my feed having just double tapped on a high school friend’s baby announcement when I saw it: a targeted ad that read: GET PAID $30,000 TO LIVE AND WORK IN OHIO. 

$30k is not going to make me a wealthy woman, by any means, but it’s a hell of a lot more than I stood to lose trying to find acceptable lodging in the city. And while I had a decent social circle I didn’t want to abandon, my desire to go out and spend my free time (as well as my not-so-free-money) had dwindled as of late. I found myself avoiding the parties and bars where I more often than not spent the evening straining my voice just to have a simple conversation with someone I can barely even hear in favor of staying in to read with a glass of wine while brainstorming fan theories with other members of one of the several fandom Discord channels I belong to. And my job has essentially become 100% remote as of late. Any essential meetings I may need to attend could be covered as a business trip, but considering most of my job involves research and grunt work versus client-facing duties, it likely wouldn’t come up at all. I was free to leave New York. 

That is to say, my curiosity was piqued. So I clicked. And I applied. Then in what felt like a whirlwind courting, I was put into contact with a state worker who walked me through the grant application with the kind of midwestern charm I found refreshing after over a decade of city cynicism. I was then presented with a selection of eligible properties, mortgage options, and even connections to discounted moving services. Seemingly quicker than one could say “buckeye state,” I had a home lined up for me. 

A month later, here I am: driving west to Loveland, Ohio. I would never admit it out loud to my friends in New York, but when I saw the option for the little single story bungalow in a town called Loveland, I was instantly drawn to the romanticism of the name. I’ve never considered myself a romantic. After all, my last relationship was built more upon a desire to live a D.I.N.K. lifestyle than some sort of deep, burning passion between two souls made of the same. But finding this opportunity to start anew in an actual hand-to-god house that I could feasibly own felt more like a whirlwind case of woo than dating men ever did. After all, having a place of one’s own to which she can safely escape has been an unattainable dream for women throughout the recorded centuries. 

I am not so jaded as to deny the appeal of true romantic love; the security of a trusted partner and the comfort of consistent, pleasurable sex is not something I would turn away if it presented itself. But I also accept the fact that those ideals are born from a rather modern mindset born from the emergence of the bored middle class who desired a genteel way to express their own horniness disguised under the veil of “art.” 

Well, I mostly know that. Maybe it’s all I’m allowing myself to believe in order to keep myself from being disappointed when I inevitably never experience the kind of love that makes one write poems and paint portraits. I mean, there’s ample evidence in this world that some people truly do fall in love  I recently read that the English poet and surrealist patron Edward James was so in love with his dancer wife Tilly Losch, he had the impressions of her footsteps woven into the stair’s carpet in their home together, creating a tribute to their shared intimacy and the love he held not just for her physicality, but her contribution towards turning their house into his home. 

Of course, Edward and Tilly ended up divorced. To his credit, James didn’t destroy the carpet upon the dissolution of his marriage and her subsequent campaign to pin it on his bisexuality rather than her infidelity. Instead he ended up donating it to an arts’ college and replaced the one in his home with a new commission– this time, featuring the pawprints of his beloved dog. C’est l’amour! One day you’re in love with your gorgeous dancer wife and her elegant footsteps, the next, she’s outing you in divorce court and you’re making lobster telephones with Salvador Dalí. 

So with all that in mind, I find myself here in the Cincinnati suburbs, heading directly to my new life in a land of love smack dab in the middle of The Heart of It All. But despite how it sounds, I’m not holding out for a hero. I will happily settle for falling in love with my new life and my new house. 

I may not be in love, but I am definitely crushing on my new place. As I pull into the driveway, I feel my heartbeat quicken in excitement. It’s so BIG! I mean, I’m from Houston– I know how big houses can be and this isn’t a mansion by any means. In fact, the listing called it a “modern cottage” style, insinuating that it’s on the smaller side of homes. But I’ve been apartment dwelling in New York for so long, I feel unsure about what to do with so much space to myself. I don’t have even close to enough furnishings to fill this place. There shall be much shopping in my foreseeable future. And there isn’t just a yard– there’s two! I might take up gardening. Maybe I’ll get a dog. My head is swimming with the possibilities. 

I grab my bags from the car and saunter up to the front door. It’s not my first time across the threshold– I flew out here before closing to oversee the inspection and get to know the area. But none of that diminishes my excitement. After all, this is my first home! I get to have a little bit of romanticization within the experience. As a treat.

The first thing to notice when walking into the house is the spacious open-plan kitchen and living area. The kitchen is what really excited me about this house. As an editor for cookbooks, I spend a lot of time there developing and testing. And now with all this room, I can fill it with every specialized tool and rare ingredients my little heart desires. The kitchen island fills the space and features a dozen or so drawers and cabinets of all different shapes and sizes to accommodate all my storage needs. And the appliances are perfect. The refrigerator is a pistachio green color with a design that looks like it came straight out of the 1950s, but it’s actually brand new and energy efficient. The stove features a gas range as well as a griddle top– the kind my Nana used to make us pancakes whenever we’d stay with her over Christmas. There’s also plenty of room for me to set up a desk for when the actual writing needs to occur. I’m going to get so much done!

The rest of the house is perfect for me. The master bedroom faces the east, so the sun pours in as soon as it rises. The connecting bathroom has a huge clawfoot tub AND a corner shower with rain-style fixtures. The second-largest room features floor-to-ceiling built-in bookcases that basically called to me when I first saw them in the listing. I was planning on converting it into a dual-use library-slash-guest room, but now that I’m here, I wonder if I’ll be willing to share it with any guests. Is it considered gauche for a grown woman to commit an entire room to house her hardcover romantasy collection? Well, they might just have to call me fucking gauche because I am seriously considering it.

Besides, the smallest third bedroom could serve as a perfectly adequate guest room. It can barely fit more than a bed and a dresser, but it would work. Between the future library and future guest room is the second bathroom. It’s not as nice as the master bath, but all the fixtures are new and the tiling is a really cute black and white subway style that will go well with the modernist decor I have in mind. 

But decorating, working, filling up bookshelves– those are all to-do items for the near future. At the moment, I should really focus on the tasks at hand. First, I need to unload the rest of my things still in the car. The storage pod I have the majority of my possessions in is scheduled to be in my driveway in a couple days, but I brought the bare necessities along with me. After that, I will need to get some food in me. I make a mental grocery list while I unload the car. 

I got the entire $30k from the grant, but I only needed $20k for the down payment, leaving me with a nice chunk of change to invest in a new-to-me hybrid sedan. I haven’t owned a car since I sold the one I drove in high school after graduation. But considering I grew up in a city that is mostly a collection of zig-zagging freeways and pavement, I am pretty comfortable behind the wheel even after all these years of living by the graces of public transportation. The autonomy granted with a personal vehicle is not lost on me. No more showing up late due to MTA delays or having to avert my eyes from strange male passengers whose hands are conspicuously not in plain sight, though still in visible motion. Instead, I now get to enjoy the comfort of a working air conditioner and the freedom to belt out Beyoncé songs at the top of my lungs. Which is exactly what I do on my drive to the supermarket.

[jensengirl83]

You’ll Accompany Me- Chp 15

Jensen x reader

Word Count- 1737

Warnings- We’re still on the angst train, language, a tiny bit of fluff if you squint

Y/N sighed as she walked through the front door of Jensen’s house. He had broken her heart and left her in tears on the kitchen floor the last time she was there. Now, she had to stay there for the rest of her pregnancy. It was a better option than staying in the hospital for months, but she honestly wondered just how much better it would be. Could she stay in her ex-boyfriend’s home and not be tortured by the heartbreak she endured? Or could they manage to get along enough for her to have the baby and then move back out? Only time would tell.

She made her way over to the couch to sit down while Jensen, Jared, and Gen brought in what she had asked for from her apartment. Her eyes never left Jensen as he moved around the room, putting down the boxes of her things in the living room to be moved to their designated spot later. It wasn’t a question of if she was still in love with him. Of course, she was. But, he had truly destroyed her when he walked out on her that day, and she didn’t know if that could ever be forgiven. She wouldn’t keep him from being in their child’s life if that’s what he wanted, but she didn’t know if he could ever be a part of hers again. Not in the romantic sense.

“You okay, baby?” Jensen asked her when he noticed her staring off into space.

“I’m fine, Jensen, and I’m not your baby anymore. So, please stop with the pet names,” she murmured, her heart hurting with the use of his term of endearment.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, hanging his head and walking back out the door to his truck.

“Y/N, take it easy on him, okay? He still loves you and feels like shit about what he did,” Jared stated, making her a little angry.

“Really? And this isn’t hard on me? He doesn’t have to come back to the house that I left him in with his heart shattered on the floor. He did that to me! I get that he feels bad, but this isn’t a picnic for me, either,” she shouted, her temper getting the best of her.

“Hey, she doesn’t need this right now,” Gen chimed in, coming to sit by Y/N, “Let’s all calm down and take a deep breath. No one is saying this isn’t hard for you, Y/N. Jared just meant that Jay is letting this eat him up on the inside. You both have a lot of healing to do, and maybe it’s best to try and move past all this together.”

“I’m trying, Gen. I am, but I’m still hurt. When I look at him, I can still see his face when he left and went to Dee’s that day,” she whispered, wiping a tear away that escaped, “I promise I’ll try not to be so hard on him, but I can’t promise I’ll ever be able to take him back.”

“Hey, no one is asking that of you. We just want you guys to be able to live with each other in peace. You don’t need the stress of arguing with him all the time. Me and Jared are genuinely worried for you and the baby. He just doesn’t know how to express that appropriately,” Gen chuckled, giving Y/N a hug when she joined in.

“Yeah, what she said,” Jared huffed with faux annoyance.

“Thanks, guys. You’re right. We can’t possibly make it these next months at each other’s throats. I’ll be nicer,” Y/N rolled her eyes but a small smile on her face.

“Is everything okay?” Jensen asked, noticing Gen hugging Y/N on the couch. No matter how angry she was with him, he still loved her with everything he was and couldn’t stand the thought of her hurting.

“It’s fine. Gen was giving me advice on how to handle these months I have ahead of me,” she said, Jensen nodding and turning to walk away.

“Hey, Jay,” Jensen turned around to see what she needed, “I’m sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean to be so harsh. I want to get along.”

“No need to apologize. I want to get along too, Y/N,” he agreed with a smile, but his face fell as soon as he turned around.

He wanted to get along. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was that he wanted to have her back in his arms, in his bed, and not just sexually. He wanted all of her again, but he knew he didn’t deserve it. He had hurt her deeply, and he had to deal with the consequences. He could only hope that she would forgive him and they could try again one day. But, if not, he would still be there for her, always. She was the love of his life and now the mother of one of his children. Even if they never reconnected romantically, there would never be another woman for him. She was it for him, and he prayed that she would think of him like that again in the future.

Y/N was sitting in the bed in the guest room watching tv. She had insisted on not being in the master bedroom. It was hard enough being in the house for now. She couldn’t imagine sleeping in the same bed that she had shared with him. That was asking for it. So, there she was, in the guest bedroom of her ex-boyfriend’s house, her mind racing with all the memories of how she ended up there.

She knew that Jensen hadn’t wanted any more kids, but she still didn’t understand his reaction. Sure, she was terrified when she found out she was pregnant, but he had been irate. He had said that he had reacted that way because he was scared, but she had difficulty swallowing that explanation. She had been afraid, but she hadn’t exploded. She hadn’t been so upset that she ruined their entire relationship. She wiped at the tears slipping down her cheeks and took a deep breath. She had to quit thinking about all this if she was ever going to be able to live with him.

She looked around her room at all the things Jensen had put away. He had insisted that he unpack all her things for her so she didn’t have to and would be comfortable. She knew he was trying, but it just wasn’t enough. Not now, anyway. Maybe, one day, she could let it all go, but it wasn’t right now. A knock on her door made her jump, ending her reverie.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Jensen asked, poking his head in the door.

“I’m good. Just watching some tv.”

“I- uh, I brought you something to eat,” he stuttered, opening the door and walking in with a tray,” I made you grilled cheese and soup. Chicken noodle, not tomato. I know you don’t like tomato soup.”

“Thank you, Jay,” she said with a genuine smile.

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m doing my job. I’m here to take care of you both,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. His tell that he was nervous.

“Jay, you don’t have to be nervous around me. I know we aren’t a couple now, but we were friends for sixteen years. Am I still hurt? Yes, but I’m not going to yell or bite your head off,” she chuckled, patting the bed for him to come sit down.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he sighed, sitting beside her on the bed and giving her the food.

“I’ll let you know if I’m uncomfortable, Jay. Walking around me like you are on eggshells makes me uncomfortable.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing for everything, too,” she laughed.

“I’m so- Look, I should be apologizing to you all day, every day, Y/N. I fucked up,” he sighed.

“You did, but make it up to me by being my friend again. That’s what I want,” she smiled, making his heart flutter.

“I’ll try, I will, but it will be hard,” he admitted.

“Why?”

“Because I’m still in love with you. I don’t want to be just your friend anymore. I want us again.”

“Jensen,” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, “I know you love me. I love you, but I can’t let it go. Not right now, maybe not ever. I know you said you’re sorry, and I appreciate that. But you don’t fully realize how you broke me that day. You left me to go stay with your ex-wife when I told you I was having your baby. How am I supposed to just let that go? How am I supposed to know you won’t leave me again when it’s something that scares you?” she sniffled, the hurt washing over again.

“Y/N, I don’t know how many times to say I’m sorry and that I royally fucked up! Do you want me to get down on my knees and beg? Grovel at your feet? I’ll do it! Just tell me what I have to do!” he pleaded, his eyes welling up with tears.

“Give me time, and don’t pressure me. I’m going to have to work through this on my own. And I can’t promise I’ll ever be able to be your girlfriend again. But you have to give me time to figure it out on my own, okay? Please?”

“Okay. I won’t bring it up again,” he groaned, standing to leave.

“Jay, don’t be like that. I’m sorry you didn’t get the answer you wanted right now, but please, don’t be like that with me. I’m asking as your friend, don’t make this harder on either of us.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’ll take you as my friend rather than nothing at all. Forgive me?”

“Of course, Jay,” she smiled.

He didn’t say another word. He leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead and walked out the door, shutting softly behind him. She threw her head back on her pillow and groaned. She hated hurting him, but she just couldn’t move past her own hurt at that moment. She sat up, took a bite of her sandwich, and rolled her eyes. Living with him was going to be a lot harder than she had anticipated.

[mrsclearwaters]

Paul Lahote x Emmett Cullen imprinting fic

Paul imprints on Emmett at a meeting and tries to fight it.

Some angst, fluff

3,068 words

(I originally uploaded this like a month ago on another account that I’ve had for years. It was my first ever post but I’m stupid and the email I used for that account was from when I was 13 and I don’t have access too it so now I’m logged out permanently which is kinda heartbreaking. Luckily I still have the story in my drafts so I’m reposting).

Paul was unable to make it to the treaty meeting after Jacobs imprint and didn't witness Seth and Leah's imprints but he was less than pleased when he saw it replayed in the shifters minds.

He likes to think he could've stopped this madness, not the imprints but at least the treaty mishap, if he was there.

The leeches claimed 3 of his friends, his family, and it pisses him off to no end. He knows he can't blame his pack mates for their imprints but he can sure as hell blame the vampires for choosing Forks, for meeting the pack, for everything that led to this moment.

Sam decided to make them come to this meeting in their human forms, something he'd argued against for hours but eventually had to give in to his Alphas decision.

Seth, Leah and Jacob seem to have warmed up to their imprints, Leah more reluctantly than the others and as much as it infuriates him, he can't exactly expect them to deny their fated mates.

This meeting is to discuss fighting techniques for future issues that both may encounter and he reluctantly follows Sam and Jacobs trucks on his bike, with Seth clinging onto him as he drives and the others riding with the Alphas.

When he finally pulls up and Seth runs towards his imprint before he fully stops, he groans at the inevitable torture.

Leah and Jacob stay put on either side of Sam but they aren't as tense as Paul in front of the vampires.

"Hello Carlisle," Sam addresses their leader who smiles and greets him back.

"I'm glad you're open to building trust with us." Sam nods,

"It'd be best for the future of both of us. You said we we're going through fight techniques?"

"Yes, Jasper is a trained general, he knows how to fight vampires, specifically newborns who would be a great threat should we ever come across them. It would be a useful tool to learn."

"Okay so let's do that." Carlisle nods and Jasper steps forward, he goes into an explanation and then a demonstration with all of the Cullens.

Paul thinks this is a pointless exercise, they know how to fight, and vampires are their natural enemies, they don't need tips.

He watches Sam go against Quil, Embry against Colin, Rosalie against Jared and Alice against Seth until Jaspers eyes land on him.

He rolls his eyes and steps forward, cracking his knuckles.

"Who am I fighting?"

"I think Emmett should be a good fit against you." He learns that Emmett is the brute when he steps forward with a shit eating grin but his eyes shift when they land on him.

Edwards eyes widen and he looks at him confused, the mind reader just shakes his head as if to tell him to wait.

He shakes it off but he feels them eyes stay on him as he goes behind a tree and shifts before coming back to face his opponent.

When he does he regrets everything. He should have skipped this meeting too, because the universe clearly hates him.

His imprint, his whole world, his sole purpose for living, is a fucking leech. That must have been the reason for the shift in the brutes eyes, he'd mated and when Paul shifted so did he.

The shifters who'd already had their matches started exclaiming their shock in his mind until Sam silenced them all.

'Oh my god! Paul, you too man?!' Jared, he didn't fucking ask for this.

'This is so good!' Seth, and he rolls his eyes because this is anything but good.

'Maybe this is a good thing,' Colin, he appreciates the effort but he wants to fucking scream at the thought of this.

'Come on Paul, he's your soulmate, there's clearly a reason for this.' Embry, yeah and the reason is that the universe has it out for him.

'I still don't get how this shit is possible,' Quil, the voice of fucking reason.

'Everyone Quiet!' Sam, now he's going to get a lecture about accepting this and not breaking both of their hearts or some shit.

'Paul-'

'I don't wanna hear it Sam.'

'I won't lecture you. Just talk to him before you do anything you'll regret.' Too late.

As soon as his imprint steps forward, he moves back and then before he knows it he's running.

He hears the pack shouting for him, and Jacob telling his imprint to, "give him time," but he doesn't dwell on any of it.

He's outside his house and he's unshifted. He thinks about it for a moment and decides he'd rather not face his parents right now, he's too out of it too make anything up.

So he does the next best thing, and climbs in through his bedroom window.

The only thing he can think to do is sleep, he doesn't want to think about what just happened and what it means.

He's fated to a leech, what a fucking nightmare.

When he wakes up his head is throbbing and he knows it's not normal but he ignores it and goes out for his usual run, pushing through the pain and ignoring the occasional tug from the new link in his mind.

Every day that goes by with him ignoring the imprint, the pain gets worse but he forces himself to push through it.

His heart feels like it's being ripped apart every time he thinks about Emmett's face when he ran away but all he can do is push it to the back of his mind and ignore it.

On day 5, Sam asks him to do patrol, he's avoided shifting for this long knowing how much worse it will get when his wolf has control. He's been pushing his wolf down for so long and it's been fighting back, pushing him towards Emmett.

When he finally shifts with Quil and lets Jared end his patrol he feel's everything tenfold. The pain from Emmett is mixed with a hunger he's never felt before and he realises his mate hasn't been feeding.

'Ffs, I need to hunt for him now.'

'Mate, you should just speak to him. Clearly it's affecting you. You can barely function.'

'I'm fine. Quil, you need to give this to him. I can't be near him.'

'You can't trust yourself with him?' Quil laughs and he gives him a deadpan look knowing how weird it looks in his wolf form.

'Alright, I'll do it.' He rolls his eyes and begins his search for prey.

He comes across a deer and slowly sneaks up on it, attacking the jugular and making sure it's dead before dropping it in front of Quil who grabs it and runs towards the Cullens house.

He watches through the pack mind as Quil comes to a stop in front of the mansion and a confused Carlisle opens the door.

"Quil, right?" He nods and Carlisle smiles still confused before Edward joins him and reads his mind.

"Paul knows Emmett hasn't been feeding, he sent Quil to give him the deer. He hunted it himself."

Emmett steps onto his balcony as soon as he hears his mates name and jumps down in front of the wolf who drops the food in front of the vampire.

"Thank you." They all know it's aimed at Paul and he practically swoons at the small smile sent his way.

'You're already sappy for him bro.' Quil laughs.

'Shut the fuck up.' He watches Edward laugh a bit at the conversation and tells him to fuck off too.

Quil nods at them all before leaving and making his way back.

Slowly the hunger Paul could feel through the link dissipates and the pain that has been lingering for days also dulls slightly.

He repeats Emmett's smile in his head through his whole patrol and Quil practically runs home when they're done, glad to be done with his pining.

'Just talk to him man,' he hears before the pack mind is empty. He rolls his eyes and unshifts himself to go back to his usual routine, sleep, eat, and then sleep some more.

Sleep is the only thing that dissipates the pain, heartbreak and throbbing head alike.

But at the 2 week mark his mind is playing with him, his days consist of staying in bed, his parents and the pack forcing him to eat, he can't shake the squeezing of his heart and the feeling that his very being and soul is hurting, his dreamless nights have turned into a nightmare.

Emmett being chased by some random vampire, she's right on his tale until she starts jumping through trees in the preserve and then finally lands on him and rips his head off.

He wakes up screaming and sweating when it happens. Sam comes running in with the rest of the pack in tow, they were discussing what to do about Paul's imprint when they heard his cries.

"Paul! Paul, what's happened. Calm down, tell me what happened."

"Em-Emmett. He died- ahhhh." He thrashes and screams at the pain that fills his whole body now, his heart is breaking, the guilt of not being there, of not saving him is overwhelming.

He hears muffled talking and shouts until Jacob and Leah are in front of him, "Paul, he's okay. He's alive. We just saw him."

He looks up at them, trying to find out if there's any truth in their words, and he finally feels the link in his mind still exists. His heart rate picks up in relief and he lets out a sob.

"Paul, please. It's killing you. Just go see him." Sam begs and he looks at the alpha.

"He's not doing well either." Seth starts, the look Jacob and Leah share with him doesn't go unnoticed.

"He's been begging us not to tell you, to let you figure it out on your own. But you haven't shifted, so you haven't seen it. When you told Quil to give him that deer because you felt the hunger when you shifted. It's the last thing he let himself eat because you got it."

"He's been getting worse, like he's punishing himself for not being good enough for you. He won't leave his room, he shouldn't get sick but he looks paler every time we see him, like he's disappearing before our eyes." Jacob adds and he reels in anger, shock, and guilt.

He knew ignoring his imprint would hurt him, he didn't know that mates worked the same way, he thought Emmett would be okay without him. Albeit hurt but okay nonetheless.

"What the fuck?! Why hasn't he been feeding? Why does he think he's not fucking good enough?!" Before the pack can say anything else he storms out and shifts.

He pauses when it hits him, agony. He feels like he hasn't eaten in months, the link between them that's stronger when shifted is weak, he can barely feel him.

His wolf cries out and he runs as fast as he can towards the Cullen house.

When voices pop into his head one by one he ignores them and pushes through, finally reaching the mansion.

He shifts back, pulling his shorts on and speeding to the front door, where Alice opens it with a sympathetic smile.

He doesn't deserve that, he's pissed at himself more than anything. He could take the pain, but how dare he cause his mate the same fate.

"Where is he?" She points to the stairs and he rushes past her, the rest of the Cullens scattered across the living and the pack piling into the house behind him.

"It's the second room on the left," she says to him as he goes and he mutters a small thanks as he runs up.

He barges into the room, and the sight he's met with makes him want to throw up.

Emmett quickly stands from his bed and smiles softly, "Paul." He looks so pale, even for a vampire this doesn't seem natural, his eyes are bloodshot, there'd be tear tracks down his cheeks if he could cry.

Paul rushes forward and shoves him into the wall next to the balcony,

"Why haven't you been feeding?!" Emmett looks confused and shakes his head,

"How could I? I don't deserve to feed. I'm a leech remember, you could never love me." Paul reels in shock, his grip loosens and he feels a lump in the back of his throat.

"You- you're."

"Im sorry you had to come here Paul. You can leave if you want." He knows neither of them want that. He can see in Emmett's eyes that he's hurting at even the idea.

He doesn't know what to say so he does the next best thing, he holds out his arm. Emmett looks even more confused now, eyebrows knitted together, it's kind of cute.

He shakes the thought out of his head, right now he needs to help his mate, and his blood should bring back his strength faster than anything else.

"Eat." He demands and Emmett's eyes widen. "I- I can't. I haven't fed, I don't think I could stop myself."

"I'm willing to take that risk... and.. I trust you." Emmett shakes his head,

"I'll hurt you. I can't."

"Emmett, you're weak, this is the only way to bring your strength back. I'm your mate, I know you won't hurt me."

Emmett looks at him, his eyes conflicted and he brings his arm too his own mouth, using his sharp wolf teeth to penetrate the skin, hissing a bit, before pushing his arm closer to Emmett's mouth,

"Eat." He says again and finally he gives in, gently holding his arm and bringing it to his mouth. He hesitates for a second before licking the dripping blood and then allowing himself to continue.

It doesn't hurt the way Paul thought it would, it's like the more his mate drinks, the more satisfied he feels. When Emmett finally feels the liquid he worries for a second that he won't stop. It's better than anything he's ever tasted, and he knows it's because it's Paul. But he also knows he could never hurt him and allows himself to enjoy it for a moment.

Paul feels weak, not from his blood being drained but from the feeling of giving his mate strength. It's overwhelmingly good.

He rests his head on Emmett's shoulder and feels the vampire pause, "it's okay, keep going." He says it in the softest tone and he doesn't think he's ever heard himself use that tone with anyone.

When Paul actually starts to feel lightheaded he lets Emmett keep going for a few seconds before he stops him.

"Emmett.. that's enough." He thinks the vampire can't hear him for a second but then he feels the fangs retract and Emmett licks the wound to clean it up.

When they look at each other they realise what just happened, Paul can't help the blush that spreads across his cheeks. He'd ignored it for so long and when he finally gave in it was so intimate that it was overwhelming.

"I'm sorry I caused you pain," he whispers and Emmett just smiles at him,

"You don't understand how long I've wanted this."

"I think I do." Paul can't help but steal a look at his imprints lips before looking back into his eyes.

"You're the most stubborn man I've ever met you know." Emmett says. He laughs a bit and nods.

They're so close that their breaths are mingled and Paul can't help it anymore, he leans in and closes the gap, catching Emmett's gasp and deepening the kiss.

When they pull away so Paul can catch his breath their lips are bruised and Emmett is beaming at him.

Paul feels even more lightheaded after that and stumbles the tiniest bit, but Emmett catches on and helps steady him, moving them towards the bed.

"Did I go too far," he panics and Paul shakes his head, "no, I'm fine. It's fine." He whispers softly.

"Do you want to sleep?" The thought of climbing into his imprints bed and being surrounded by that smell is so tempting. He nods and moves to get under the covers.

When Emmett sits on the chair next to the bed he looks at him confused and the vampire looks back with a similar look.

"Why are you over there?" The vampire grins cheekily, "you want me to lay with you?"

The growing smirk makes him blush and he rolls his eyes indignantly, shaking his head.

"Nah, I'll just sleep on my own." He turns to his side and hears a laugh that makes his heart race.

"Paul?" He ignores it, "pauul," and he shakes his head.

It's silent for a second but then he hears ruffling and their's a breath on his neck, "Alright, I'll lay here with you." The hairs on his neck rise and he turns around quickly. His breath hitches at how close they are again.

"I didn't think you'd want me too." Emmett tells him honestly.

"I just let you drink my blood. I think sharing a bed is a small step compared to that." He whispers back and Emmett laughs a bit.

"That was a hell of a way to start wasn't it?" And Paul just nods in agreement, closing his eyes.

"Does this mean you've accepted me?" Emmett asks after a few moments of silence. Paul peeks an eye open to see if he's being serious and when he realises he is he looks at him incredulously.

"Okay, okay. You have. I was just making sure you won't leave again." Paul feels a pang of guilt hit him again when he realises how much he's hurt his imprint and shakes his head.

"I'm sorry. I should have come sooner." He whispers and Emmett smiles softly, "I understand." Paul shakes his head, "no, I won't ever forgive myself for putting you through that." Emmett rolls his eyes now, "you put yourself through it too. You're just stubborn." Before Paul can speak, Emmett kisses him softly.

"Sleep," Emmett tells him when they pull away and he sighs but obliges, closing his eyes and falling asleep comfortably for the first time in weeks.

[taetaespeaches]

“So this is heartbreak, huh?”

jimin x reader (oc) genre: angst word count: 1.8K

a/n: Hi lovelies! Sorry this is a little late but I hope it’s at least somewhat worth the wait. In this, reader/Dear is dealing with the loss of Jimin during the period of their brief breakup. (So Jimin only appears through being talked about). She can’t get him out of her mind, and she’s realizing she doesn’t actually want him out. Oh, Peaches (Taehyung’s to be girlfriend) is also in this. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading :))

For three weeks you had been waiting for the anger to take over. As your best friend dug through your grocery bags and filled your cupboards with the items, you stood against the kitchen counter, tense and horrifyingly not angry.

You should be furious at the betrayal you felt. If your life was a movie, surely you would have already gathered up his shit and everything that reminded you of him in a box, ready to be tossed out or at least dropped off at his place. The problem was that everything reminded you of him. And every item of significance sat around your apartment like some kind of memorial to the man and the shared life you lost.

The persistent thoughts of him wouldn’t be so unbearable if only you could conjure up the fury inside you and remember the negative sides of the man. Like the fact that he broke up with through a text while on tour in another country. But you couldn’t make yourself hate him. You couldn’t bring yourself to come up with reasons to not still love him. You couldn’t even convince yourself to be mad at him. Not really. Not mad enough to drown out the longing.

He broke up with you over text while touring in another country. It was so unlike Jimin, but he did it. That one thing should have been enough to make you despise him, have you throwing his shit out the window, dismantling every last bit of the life you built together, that you were still building. Yet you were still standing there at the counter thinking of him, loving him with every fiber of your being, waiting for him to give you a reason to forgive him.

“How has work been?” Your best friend asked, drawing your attention to her, the tension in your knuckles as you squeezed the edge of the counter easing just a bit.

You sighed, moving your head back and forth to silently say, so so. “It’s hard being around kids. To be honest.”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I wish we could just- I don’t know. Just take off for a couple weeks.”

“I’m not sure it would turn out any different than our weekend away,” you forced a pathetic smile. The girl had taken you out of town for a weekend and you had spent the entire time crying in the hotel room, under the influence of copious amounts of wine. Self-medication. “That was so sad, I didn’t even get drunk at some bar.”

The girl shrugged, giving you a sympathetic smile. “Drunk is drunk.” You snorted, nodding in agreement.

“One of these days I’m gonna drink enough to get really fucking mad instead of just-” you shook your head. “You know.”

You began helping put away your own groceries as she watched you carefully for a moment. Since the breakup you had been relying on your friend so much, you were riddled with guilt despite her telling you daily that she wouldn’t want to be doing anything else. The sentiment was sweet but you figured she wasn’t being entirely truthful. Surely she didn’t actually want to be putting your groceries away for you and wiping your tears every single night.

At least you’d moved back into your apartment, giving her her own space back. Plus, you did your own grocery shopping. Baby steps and small victories.

“Since when do you eat spicy ramen?” Your friend suddenly asked, holding up two containers of the food. She had her eyebrows pulled together in question, your expression mimicking hers because it was a good question. You didn’t like spicy food.

You eyed the packaging, your heart feeling so heavy and sharp in your chest you weren’t sure how long you could even continue carrying its weight and all its jagged edges. “I don’t,” you whispered, your eyes finding the girls as she realized your mistake. “Jimin does-”

“-I’ll eat it,” she quickly said, talking over you as she put it back in the grocery sack and shoving the plastic into her tote bag.

“Jimin does? Jimin did? Past tense?” You pondered your own wording. “I don’t know how to refer to him. He’s not fucking dead but like, he’s not here,” you scoffed, inhaling deeply, trying to ignore the way it shook as you exhaled. “I don’t really know what Jimin does anymore.”

“Babe,” your friend spoke sadly, taking a step toward you but not moving any closer. She was always so careful with providing space, careful not to take up too much of it.

“So this is heartbreak, huh?” you shook your head at yourself, at your situation. “Buying spicy ramen for people who aren’t even here.”

“You’re allowed to take time.”

“Maybe the wound is too fresh but- I honestly don’t know how time is ever going to heal this.”

“I just wish I could be mad, you know? Like I am mad. I’m angry, I know I am. But more than anything I’m just- I miss him so much. I’m so fucking sad. I want the anger to take over, I want to want to set his shit on fire and cast him off as an asshole but- I can’t. Because I love him. And I know him. He’s not an asshole. He did an asshole thing but-”

“I know.”

“It’s Jimin.”

“I know.”

That was when you finally noticed how much this was hurting your friend, as well as you. Maybe that was your reason to be mad- he dragged your two closest friends into this mess. It wasn’t just a rift between two people, but rather four people. The girl tending to your every need knew Jimin before you did. They were friends first. And now she was left not knowing how to feel about him, not knowing if their relationship would ever be the same again. You didn’t even want to think about the fear that would inevitably be instilled within her and Taehyung, setting them even further back from taking the jump from friends to lovers. You knew she would look at this and come to the conclusion that these things don’t work. It didn’t pan out for you, after all.

“I’m sorry,” you shook your head, trying to brush off the rawness of your emotions.

“Stop saying that,” she lightly scolded. “You’re allowed to be upset, and you’re allowed to talk about that. Especially with me.”

You weren’t sure you should be talking about it with her. She had a strong and sincere affinity for Jimin, you knew you were putting her in a difficult situation. An impossible situation. But she was your friend, your rock, and she was offering. And you were selfish. Shaking your head, you took a deep breath. “Will I ever stop wanting him?”

“I don’t know.” It wasn’t the answer you were hoping for, but you knew it was the honest one.

“You know he sleeps all day on his days off. All fucking day,” you complained suddenly, making the girl raise her eyebrows slightly as she tried to gage your emotions. “And he’s so dramatic, so much of what he does is so over the top,” you continued, spewing your grievances with the man.

“That’s true,” she responded tentatively. You were trying to convince yourself that these traits actually qualified as negatives to Jimin. She knew that.

“And the attitude on him,” you scoffed halfheartedly, failing to fool yourself.

“He’s very sassy,” she whispered.

Shaking your head, you thought of the times you had walked into your apartment after a long day of work to find Jimin curled up in bed, lifting his messy head of hair and flashing you a smile through his puffy, sleep-filled features. You loved finding him like that. You loved crawling into bed with him. You loved that he’d sneak away as you fell into slumber to make you breakfast for dinner.

And you loved his dramatic nature. He was so animated, like his face was made just to express every emotion as fully as he felt them. Jimin was always so enthusiastic, loving every bit of life that was given to him. You even loved his attitude, even encouraging petty bickering to release his sass. It was both adorable and sexy, and you also loved when it was directed at other people. He was one of the few people who could top your attitude.

“I wanna be angry,” you finally admitted through tears, watching the girl nod her head in understanding through your blurry vision.

“But it’s ok to just be sad,” she assured you, stepping closer to you.

“The anger would be easier to carry,” you said as the first tear slipped down your cheek, making a trail for more to follow.

Suddenly, her arms were around you as she tucked the side of your face against her shoulder. “It would be,” she whispered into your hair at the back of your head.

Staring at the girl’s tote, thinking of Jimin, you wondered if he was also running into you in everything he came across. As he bought his own spicy ramen, you wondered if he bought the mild version along with it, out of habit and consideration of you. You wondered if he thought of you, and if he did, did he imagine you angry? Did he think you were letting go, forgetting about him, moving on? If he knew you bought spicy ramen because he never left your mind, would he want to take back his actions?

“I just miss him.”

You’d keep missing him. You’d miss him on the couch, in the bedroom, as you stood in your classroom in front of your students, as you passed by his band’s advertisements all across the city, in the grocery aisle, and every time you looked at your phone and saw no new notifications from him.

Your heart would keep breaking into smaller and smaller pieces. You’d keep hoping he’d come back, give you a reason to forgive him. Give you a chance to forgive him. It would take time, he’d have to be careful and patient as he put the pieces back together. But you’d keep hoping.

“It’s ok to miss him. Just miss him,” the girl told you as you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to stop the flood of emotions pouring from your eyes.

“Can you leave the ramen?” You asked. Your friend ran a soothing hand up and down your back as she nodded. You just wanted it there.

[magicalmysteries777]

The Bloody-Handed and The Anguish Of Loving Them - Chapter 7.

Summary: Almost a year has passed since Eddie Munson died and it feels like the only person that isn't moving on is Steve.

After spending the night studying a Dungeons and Dragons handbook, Steve is convinced he's figured out how to bring Eddie back. Not only that, but defeat Vecna once and for all too. Now he just has to prove it.

Pairings: Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson

Masterlist: Here.

Chapter: 7 of 10.

Chapter WC: 3.4k.

CW: Swearing, implied drinking, heavy angst, temporary character death, and graphic depictions of blood and injuries.

This story can also be found on AO3 here.

Taglist: @ohmeg 🖤

March 25th, 1987.

“Robin? Can you hear me?!” Steve asked frantically, his eyes once again brimming with tears as he looked down at her pale, damp face.

“It hurts,” she answered, her voice barely more than a whisper.

“It’s okay, I’m here. Where does it hurt? Robin, talk to me.”

“I thought it was just a bruise,” she told him weakly, pointing to her stomach. He lifted her shirt to reveal a large, deep purple bruise forming near her belly button.

“You’re okay. You’ll be okay.”

“Steve, that’s internal-” Dustin began, dropping to their level.

“I know what it is. Would somebody please come up with a fucking plan?!”

Robin looked up at Steve, a soft smile spreading across her face. He met her gaze, the same smile reciprocated across his tear-stained cheeks as years of memories flooded his mind.

Countless hours of gentle bullying behind the counter at Scoops. Robin waiting for him to inevitably get rejected again so she could add another tally to her ‘you rule/you suck’ chart with a smirk on her face. The terror in her eyes the first time the Russians beat him whilst they were being held captive together. Robin coming out to him on the bathroom floor of Starcourt Mall while they waited for the drugs to wear off. All the sleepovers at Steve’s, where they’d binge horror movies and eat three pints of ice cream while they both vented about their failing love lives. The twenty-minute apology he’d received after she dented the bumper on his car when he tried to teach her how to drive. How she’d always been his rock whenever the flashbacks came, holding him until he felt calm and safe again. How he’d done the same for her. Popcorn fights and bad movies on the slow shifts at Family Video. The way she refused to take no for an answer when he’d tried to push her away, dragging his sorry ass out of bed instead and forcing him to get his shit together.

“Steve?” Robin whispered, her voice trembling just as much as her hands. “Tell Vickie I love her and that I-I’m sorry.”

“You can tell her yourself when we get out of here.”

“There’s a necklace. Second drawer of my d-dresser,” she instructed, choking on her words. “For our anniversary next month. Give it to her.”

“Nancy, do something!” he yelled, not daring to look away from Robin for a second.

She hurriedly flipped through pages of the handbook, snapping her response without looking up. “I’m trying, I can’t find the spell!”

A stifled sob from Dustin caused Steve to look up instinctively, the sight in front of him so heartbreaking that it would turn out to be ingrained in his mind forever.

El clutching Mike’s hand so hard that her knuckles were starting to turn white. Mike staring at Robin on the floor, horrified, his skin even paler than usual. Will, Lucas, and Erica all huddling around the contents of their backpacks, desperately searching for something that could help them and throwing anything that couldn’t over their shoulders without a second thought. Nancy scouring the handbook for a single scrap of helpful information, her eyes puffing and her cheeks wet. Jonathan next to her, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Then there was Dustin with his thousand-yard stare and heaving chest, his fingers wrapped tightly around the guitar pick necklace that Wayne Munson had returned to him many months ago.

Steve had a sneaking suspicion that whoever Dustin could see dying on the floor in front of him, it wasn’t Robin.

The grip on Steve’s hand loosened and his heart dropped. Robin met his gaze again, still smiling softly. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“For what?”

“For being my best friend.”

“The pleasure was all mine,” he answered, his lip quivering.

“I love you, Dingus. Platonically, obviously.”

Steve let out a chuckle, quickly wiping away the fresh set of tears welling in his eyes. “I love you too. Platonically.”

“You still suck, though.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You-” she began, choking on her words again before going quiet.

“Robin? Robin, talk to me,” he urged, shaking her slightly. “Robin?!”

Lightening cracked behind them causing all heads to spin, the lit-up red sky revealing the silhouette of a still lurking Kas.

“Steve, you need to go,” Jonathan urged, dropping to his knees beside them.

“Are you out of your mind?! I’m not leaving her.”

“You have to.”

“I’m not-”

“Steve!”

He fell silent, reluctantly meeting Jonathan’s eye. No more words were ushered between the two of them, only an understanding look and a slow nod that Steve could have sworn meant “It’s okay, she’s not going anywhere. I promise.”

His eyes flicked back and forth between Robin and Kas, his internal monologue screaming at him to make a decision. Reluctantly, he released his grip on Robin’s hand and stood, allowing Nancy to swoop in and take over.

She held her free hand over Robin’s stomach and began to recite Latin from the book clutched tightly in the other. Steve backed away and turned his attention to back Kas, El four steps behind him.

-

Steve charged toward Kas like a man on a mission, the adrenaline coursing through his veins making his almost certainly infected bat bites feel like nothing more than a mere cat scratch.

“You motherfucker!” he roared, spit flying from his mouth alongside his words. He wasn’t sure if El was managing to keep up with him, and honestly, he didn’t care. The shit-eating grin spreading across Kas’s face and the rapidly increasing thumps of his heartbeat in his ear were the only things he could focus on. “Come on, Munson. You were all fucking talk back at the trailer park.”

As the distance between them narrowed to a close, still not a single word had passed Kas’s lips. Only when Steve approached the final twenty feet separating them did Kas have any reaction at all, darting into the nearby trees with a maniacal cackle.

Steve quickly followed suit, weaving between the trunks of the towering trees whilst hoping and praying that it was Kas’s laugh he was following and not one of the many taunting echoes.

“I’ve got him!” yelled El. Steve spun on the spot and ran towards her voice as quickly as his legs would carry him. A little further into the woods Steve’s eyes finally landed on El, her arm outstretched toward a particularly wide oak tree and a single drop of blood trickling from her nose as the vines finished wrapping themselves tightly around Kas.

“You’re amazing, kid. Not sure if I ever told you that,” Steve told her, trying his hardest not to let the outburst brewing within him spill out in front of her. “Now go help the others.”

“But what if he gets out?”

“I’ll deal with it if he does, don’t you worry about that. El, I need you to go help Nancy,” he urged, taking her gently by the shoulders. “Please, El. I can’t lose her, okay? I just can’t. Please. If she… If she dies, you can bring her back, right? Like you did with Max?”

She stared back at him for a moment before nodding silently and set off back through the woods, leaving the two men alone in a tension-filled silence.

-

Surprisingly, it was Kas who broke the silence. “Spit it out, Stevie. You’re wearing the ground down there.”

“Spit it out? Spit it out?! That’s all you’ve got to say?” Steve fumed, glaring at Kas. “Dustin almost fucking died, man. Erica too. Robin could be dead for all I know.”

“And why exactly should I care?”

“Are you kidding me?! Eddie-”

Kas bared his fangs and let out a loud hiss in Steve’s direction. “When are you going to get it into your thick head? I’m not Eddie.”

“You don’t have to do this. Any of this. We’ve figured it out. Well, it was mainly Will - the kid’s a fucking Dungeons and Dragons genius. We can make you human again, we found a spell.”

Kas stared at Steve for a few seconds, a dumb-founded expression plastered on his face, before letting out a loud laugh. “Why would I want to do that?”

It took everything in Steve not to take Kas by the shoulders and attempt to physically shake some sense into him; instead, he just stood there, his mouth agape as he tried to find the right string of words to properly convey the amount of sheer stupidity he was hearing.

“Why would I want to go back to being what I was before, huh? Eddie was a pathetic, cowardly, stupid, high-school flunking, drug-dealing freak. Look at me now. I’m stronger, braver, faster. I’ve never felt so powerful.”

Steve’s words came out a lot more sheepish than he’d intended. “You were never a coward. Or a freak.”

“Yes he was and you know it. Principal Higgins knew it, Chief Hopper knew it, Jason and his little cronies all knew it, Al Munson, father-of-the-fucking-year, knew it. Hell, the whole fucking town knew it. The only time the whole of Hawkins could mutually agree on something was when they all decided that Eddie Munson was a satanic, murdering, freak.”

Kas thrashed against the rough bark of the oak behind him as he attempted to free himself from the grip of the vines. Steve stayed silent and looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time since they’d parted ways at his trailer a year ago.

His curls were still wild and bushy as ever and his eyes, albeit more red than they used to be, were still the same. Big and striking. Sure he had fangs now, but the man before was still Eddie, whether he believed it or not.

“They didn’t get to know you.”

“Oh, and you did?” he asked. “We knew each other for what? A week?”

“I never stopped getting to you know!” Steve snapped. He could feel all his repressed emotions from the last year rapidly bubbling to the surface, threatening to boil over.

“Bullshit.”

“Everything you just said was bullshit. Every word of it. You say I don’t know you but I think I know you better than you know yourself, Eds. You saved Dustin and distracted the bats to buy us more time knowing full well that they could kill you - those aren’t the actions of a coward. You say everyone thinks you’re stupid but they don’t know that you’ve pretty much got the entirety of ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’ memorised and can discuss the intricacies of Elven politics for over half an hour at a time,” he rambled, allowing the pot containing his bubbling emotions to spill.

Kas stayed silent, looking at Steve in a way he’d never done before.

“I know that it was your dad who taught you how to play guitar but it was your mom who made you fall in love with music - she’d play Chicago Blues on the record player. I know she died when you were six years old and left you to deal with all your dad’s bullshit by yourself. I know you lost her records in the fire when your dad’s house burnt down, the only thing that survived was the guitar you played Master of Puppets on last year. I know your dad got in trouble with the cops and went on the run, and that’s how you ended up living with Wayne. I know that Wayne thinks you’re the best goddamn thing that ever happened to him. I know that he cries himself to sleep nearly every night because he misses you. I know that Dustin has nightmares and flashbacks of you dying and every time he does he sinks a little bit further into the same shell that you got coaxed out of, the same as you did for Gareth.”

Tears streamed down his cheeks as he tried to navigate all the sadness, grief, anger, love, and determination he was feeling. He’d kept it all trapped inside for so long that now it was out, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get it back in.

“Did you really think that the stories of an old man were going to be enough to convince me to give all of this up?” Kas asked, his voice cold and his eyes dark. “Standing there, bold as brass, acting like you give two fucks about me as though you didn’t leave me to rot in the fucking ground.”

“Do you think I wanted to leave you there?!” Steve yelled, his voice cracking. “Do you think I enjoyed digging that hole and burying you? Because I didn’t. It fucked me up, Eds. I see you laying in that hole, covered in blood, every time I close my goddamn eyes so don’t you dare say that I don’t care.”

“You did that for Dustin.”

“I did it for you. I did all of this for you!”

Kas glared at Steve, his fiery eyes burning a hole directly into his soul. “You did this for you! You can lie to yourself all you want by saying you did this for me if it helps you sleep at night but we both know you’re only here because a bottle of whiskey won’t drown out your guilty conscience any more. Yes, Steve, I know,” he divulged, smirking at the confusion on Steve’s face. “I know all about your sneaky little habit. Do your so-called friends know you’ve got vodka in your bag or are you still lying to them?”

“Stop it,” Steve sobbed.

“I can smell your blood alcohol level from here, you’re nothing but a fucking liar. Do you seriously think a bunch of teenagers and the town’s newest drunk are going to be enough to stop him? Stop us?”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to stop him and undo what he did to you.”

“You did this to me!”

He stood there shell-shocked, unable to form any sort of retaliation to the words echoing in his head while Kas struggled against his restraints.

“It’s your fault. It’s all your fault!” Kas bellowed. “You’re the reason I died. You’re the reason Vecna’s still alive. You’re the reason he brought me back. You’re the reason that all your friends and the entirety of Hawkins will burn. He won’t stop until he’s taken everything and it’s all your fault.”

“Let me fix it,” Steve pleaded, desperation in his hoarse voice as a fresh wave of tears spilled from his eyes. “Please. I’m trying to fix it. Let me fix it.”

“You’re ego is astonishing. Listen to me, Steve,” he taunted, thrashing harder against the vines. “I’m not going back. I don’t want to go back. I want to make them all pay - Everyone who looked down on me my entire life, everyone who treat me like I was nothing better than shit on the bottom of their shoe. They’ll all pay. Nothing you can do will change my mind.”

Kas lunged forward and Steve felt his heart rate spike as the tension on the vines almost gave out. He was running out of time.

“I’d burn this whole fucking place down if it meant you got to walk out of here with me.”

And then it happened. Lightening cracked above as Kas let out a maniacal laugh and threw himself forward, the twisted vines around his waist finally giving out under the immense amount of pressure he was applying to them. In an instant, he was inches away from Steve’s face.

“You can’t fix it!” he yelled. “You can’t fix any of it. You’ve spent the last four years trying to fix things and all you’ve done is fuck them up further. Just give up, Steve. Your grovelling is embarrassing.”

“I can’t lose you again. I can’t. Please, Eds, just let me fix this. I have to fix this.”

“Give me one good reason as to why I shouldn’t kill you right now.”

Steve screamed the words he’d been dying to say for so long loud enough that he was certain almost every creature in the Upside Down had heard them. “Because I love you!”

It was subtle, the twitch of Kas’s eyes. He had no other reaction - he didn’t move, didn’t speak. Just stood there, inches away, his chest heaving with rapid breaths.

“I fucking love you, okay? From the moment I saw you in that boat shack last year, I have loved you. I don’t care if you don’t think you’re brave or smart because it doesn’t matter to me. I barely got to know you before you died and every single thing I’ve learned about you since has only made me love you more,” he rambled unapologetically. If this was his final chance, he was going to say it all. “Even when you’re a vampire that wants to kill me, I love you. I’ve found myself waking up outside your trailer countless times because every fucking time I have a drink, I end up there trying to get to you. I’ve cried myself to sleep almost every night clutching your vest because I can’t fucking stand the pain of being without you. I mean it, Eds, I’ll burn this whole place down if it means you’ll walk out with me. He’s taken everything from me. I have nothing left to lose.”

Steve had imagined their first kiss over a thousand times during the early hours of the many mornings in which he’d found himself battling his demons. He’d always thought it would be picturesque, straight out of a cheesy romance movie scripted by the Gods of writing themselves.

Sometimes his fingers would entangle themselves into Eddie’s curls and he’d gaze longingly into his eyes before leaning in, gently pressing his lips against Eddie’s whilst he tried to ignore the fireworks erupting in the pit of his stomach. Sometimes they’d be at the movies and Eddie would fake a yawn, trying (and failing) to be smooth whilst placing an arm around his shoulder before pulling Steve towards him.

Unfortunately, nothing about the situation he’d found himself in was like the meticulously crafted scenes from his daydreams, and yet, it was perfect.

Steve knew when Kas didn’t respond that this was it. His final chance was now or never. Every card he’d been guarding so closely to his chest had to be laid out on the table. Thousands of unspoken words, a handful of moments, all of the clueless flirting, the palpable tension, and a year’s worth of longing, grief, regret, and desire all bundled up into this one last-ditch attempt at changing Kas’s mind with a potentially world-saving kiss.

The moment that Steve closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against Kas’s the sky above was illuminated by wild cracks of lightning dancing around them at the same rate as the fireworks exploding inside of his stomach. It was gentle at first, timid even going by Steve’s usual standards, as though he was holding a delicate, cracked piece of china in his hands that would crack under the smallest amount of pressure but then, much to Steve’s bewilderment, Kas kissed him back and ignited a spark in Steve that gave him the hunger of a starving man.

The kisses turned torrid, foreheads bumping and hands sliding through hair with such ferocity that you’d of thought that something terrible would happen to either of them if they released the other. All of the air was sucked from his lungs leaving him dizzy, feeling like he was floating two feet off of the ground.

Only when Steve thought that he might genuinely pass out due to lack of oxygen did he pull away from the kiss. With his fingers still buried in Kas’s hair, he took a deep breath and opened his eyes. For a split second, he could’ve sworn that the large, doe-like eyes looking back at him were their usual chocolate brown, illuminated with specks of golden honey as the lightning continued to crack.

Then he blinked and the bubble around them popped. The lightning ceased as quickly as the fire inside of him extinguished and he found himself sat on the cold, hard ground, with a pair of red eyes glaring down at him.

With a final taunt to rub salt into the wound, Kas turned his back on Steve and departed to rejoin his master. “Your friends are losing.”

[imabillyami]

WIP WEDNESDAY

Got tagged by the lovely @afterdarkprincess (thanks so much, love 💙) and actually have something to share this time around.

Seeing Samijey happy and thriving naturally made me write angst. It’s basically a story to explain away the weeks of no interactions.

Not sure I’ll finish it, we’ll see. It’s angst though. Read at your own risk.

——————

The fight had been stupid from the very beginning - born out of ever-present insecurity that turned into harsh words hurled at the wrong person.

The one person he knew would always have his back given the choice - the one person who was rock solid.

“You have no idea what I’m going through!“

“Are you being for real, uce?“

When Sami looked away, purposely not meeting his eyes, he continued “Of all people I’m the one who knows exactly what you going through Sami! You think being under Roman’s thumb all this damn time didn’t leave me fucked in the head doubting myself? I doubt myself every day Sami! Every day!“

Sami still stubbornly avoided looking at him.

Deep down he already felt sorry for what he’d said to Jey just moments ago, but his mind was stuck, there was no way out. No way to resolve this reasonably before it exploded.

„You know what Sami? You keep doing you. Keep pushing people away. Watch where this shit will get you. I’m outta here.“

With that Jey gathered his things and pushed out of the locker room door, leaving Sami to wonder just how exactly he’d managed to fuck up this badly again.

(…)

Weeks passed. Weeks of suffering and longing and self-loathing and doubt.

When they saw each other backstage, a circumstance both tried to avoid as much as they physically could, hurt gazes were all they exchanged.

They were both being stubborn and they knew it, but neither was exactly sure how to make the first move. They were shit at dealing with their emotions, always had been.

Sami still couldn’t get out of his rut. And Jey deserved so much better than that. He deserved a much better man than Sami could possibly ever be.

Jey was insecure and fearful of what their next exchange might bring. That, but also, he thought, reasonably pissed off, still.

Their friends were left with nothing but confusion and rolling eyes at their antics.

Sami had successfully pushed every single one of them away despite their best attempts to talk some sense into him.

That was, until one day a very unexpected ally came along.

„Get your ass up right now, Sami! God this is pathetic. I wish you could see yourself right now. You’re pathetic, you know that!?“, a very ticked off Gable yelled at him seemingly out of nowhere.

He’d won the gauntlet match against the other man recently and he knew how much heartbreak that had caused him and his fans.

The crowd’s reactions to his win had added a whole new layer to his doubts and insecurities and he hated it.

That - and he had run into Jey backstage earlier and quickly fled the scene.

And now he was hiding in catering for the rest of the night like the big man he was.

Sami snorted at Gable’s harsh words.

And stayed put.

„I’m being serious Sami! You’re a fucking idiot! You could have it all. Win the fight and get the girl - well guy in your case. And what are you doing? Moping in fucking catering even though you can’t even fucking eat anything!“

It was true. With it being Ramadan, hiding in catering was probably the most pathetic move ever.

He knew Jey despised the food catering provided though, so it had seemed like the perfect spot to avoid any more run-ins with the man he loved.

(tbc)

——————

Hope you enjoyed that little glimpse!

No pressure tags: @crxssjae @shanie-the-komania-toyaddict @jeyuwuso @harmshake and everyone else who loves writing and has something to share 💙

[muchcelebrated]

Let me be clear: I love the ending of this show. I’ve made multiple posts about how much I love the ending and the angst of him choosing her over everything and admitting his feelings only to find out she’s dying. I truly think it’s perfect and would never ever change it. I eat that shit up.

But another like canon divergence scenario that’s so deliciously angsty (in a different way) to think about is if Jack wasn’t invited to the dinner and they didn’t get caught attempting to steal the gold and he didn’t ask her to run away with him so they don’t make up and she doesn’t get the chance to tell him about her condition before it’s too late.

Her family finds her collapsed and brings her to Sneed, but Sneed relents and admits that Jack is the only one skilled enough to operate on her. (Jack still comes to the epiphany about the noose bc him failing the operation is a whole separate angsty can of worms)

Now it’s the classic trope of she needs to survive because him breaking her heart just can’t be her last memory of him. She can’t die thinking that he doesn’t care about her, he needs to apologize, he needs to explain. Like to have them not make up before he finds out she’s dying adds a whole new level to him needing her to wake up and see if she’s alive. He needs to get the chance to tell her that she is loved. Fully.

I’m glad they didn’t do it this way in the show because the way it played out was just perfect and gave us the most iconic scenes in television ever (the end of episode 7 and all of episode 8). I also feel like this way is a much more common trope and it was refreshing to see the show do something new and different. But this scenario is a slightly different brand of angst and so fun (and by fun I mean heartbreaking) to consider.