#@polypaganpancakepearl

[queerfandommiscellany]

I was tagged by @barad-doom to pick my ten favorite characters from ten different fandoms, so here we go!

1) Haleth, from the Silmarillion. Human woman, leader of a bunch of displaced humans fighting against Morgoth, refused to become neat little vassals of whichever elf lord it was who offered (Celegorm? Caranthir? Thingol?), and overall a total badass. Her people were named the Haladrim (I believe it was) after her, until they were subsumed into early Gondor.

2) Tarma from Mercedes Lackey's Vows and Honor series, part of the same universe as her Valdemar books. Tarma is not only another *total badass*, but also canonically asexual (and aromantic) and "as sexless as the sword she bears", with a partner Kethry who is totally what I would now term her qpp. These are the books which served as my introduction to fantasy as a genre (and novels as a whole, really) as a kid, and while I didn't notice their surprisingly awesome representation until just recently, I loved them just as much then as I do now.

3) Rose Lalonde, from Homestuck. I don't know that she's necessarily my *favorite* character, exactly, but I do love her. I also have trouble looking to other characters as my favorites when I love so many of them and Rose is pretty much exactly me, with slightly more interest in Lovecraft and slightly less interest in computers.

4) Jack Harkness from Doctor Who and Torchwood. Snarky, badass, usually quite nice and not a total misogynist, and also pansexual af, Jack is just plain cool. The mysterious past, mysterious future, and unusual willingness to be emotionally vulnerable from time to time don't hurt either.

5) Miles Vorkosigan from, you guessed it, the Vorkosigan saga. He is both seriously crippled and indisputably a tactical and fast-talking genius, a pair of qualities which forces him to actually solve problems with his brains instead of by chance or muscle. Over time he ends up constructing separate identities for himself as the heir to major nobility on a backwater planet and himself as the Admiral of the troupe of space mercenaries he accidentally acquires in the first book, and it only gets more wonderfully complicated from there.

6) Saash, the main technical wizard for Grand Central's worldgating terminals in Diane Duane's Feline Wizards series, in the same universe as the Young Wizards series (I hate that series name so much, it way undersells these books, they're awesome). She's timid, sweet, quick to defend her friends and ready to risk her ninth and last life for the good of the universe, and also gifted with a scintillating intelligence which made her the main repair technician for these inter-galactic gates. Also, this universe has some wonderfully inspiring yet realistic themes, particularly around the whole "put off the heat death of the universe as long as possible" issue.

7) Death, from the Discworld novels. This one was a rather harder question, since I have many favorite characters from the Discworld (Granny Weatherwax! Diamond King of Trolls! Vimes!). Death is, however, at least the sort of casual favorite with whom I happily high five in passing during nearly every book.

8) Loki from the Avengers Cinematic Universe. In the past, he's been portrayed as much more unrelentingly evil than I would like, but the most recent Thor movie among other things clarified that his relations with Thor an Earth are more the result of countless siblings squabbles that actually hit a nerve gone unresolved for far too long. That kinda rings a bell with me, and makes me empathize with him a lot more. Also I find it endlessly amusing how many other characters in Asgard were around before Loki even though Loki, in actual Norse mythology, was one of their parents-- Fenris aka Fenrir, Hel, and Sleipnir to name a few.

9) Vaarsuvius from Order of the Stick. Vaarsuvius (often shortened to V) is just great. They've got it all: snark, jokes, character development, horribly massive and accidental failures, and total badassery, not to mention a gender which canonically does not fit within the bounds of male or female. That may in fact just be a trait of elves in this universe. Read the comic, seriously,though it may start out a tad heavy handed on the more basic elements of humor, it does get a lot better.

10) Collette Voltaire, from the Girl Genius comics. I'm not going to say too much about her given the fact that it's one giant spoiler, but as the main heir to the Master of Paris and one of the relatively few major characters who is *not* a spark (supernatural borderline homicidal genius, basically), she has learned a lot more about controlling the mechanisms of her father's city than he, or anyone, knows.

[erudipitous]

I'm curious about your former url, polypaganpancakepearl? Like where did that come from if that's okay. Erudipitous as well actually, from erudite or something else?

oh, that! well, when I first joined tumblr back in high school, I identified as polyamorous, pagan, panromantic, and asexual (an occasional epithet for pan ace being pancake), and I ID'd a lot with Pearl from steven universe. now I'm... still polyamorous (...but also aroace), vaguely lesbianish (but also aroace and nb), culturally pagan but vaguely atheist (it's complicated), and I'm much less involved in the steven universe fandom.

moral of the story, don't make your tumblr username a list of your identities unless you're *really* certain of them!

[artificialentgrove]

... I guess this is what I do when I get homesick.

Unfinished, but I learned a lot and it’s been a week since I last got up the motivation to touch it, so *shrugs*

From a picture of @polypaganpancakepearl with two of their cats.

[aroacepagans]

Had a great time at pride today with @queer-iocity, @zymbie, @polypaganpancakepearl , @skeleton-keys-to-my-soul and all my other queer pagan pals 💚

[toytulini]

Yes!! Exactly!

On Fatphobia, from the perspective of a skinny (white) person

Lmao i keep trying to make a post on this but i can never get the wording right,

There is. A Normalized Mass Societal Fetish of the skinny body and its rly fuckin uncomfortable. We get Idealized and Romanticized and treated as inherently more beautiful/aesthetically appealing for being skinny, and its. Bad?

Like, my personal experience with this is. Already uncomfortable as hell with the concept of my body being seen as sexually appealing at all to someone, as an aspect of my sex repulsion, and i do think that plays a part in my realizing this.

One comment, made by a passing by grown man in the grocery store(yikes already) to tell me that i have “nice legs”(mmmyikes). This happened during a point in my life where i had lost most of my muscle mass, i didnt look particularly Different physically for it, but lack of regular physical exercise over 4yrs of high school meant i no longer had the Strength in my legs from playing recreational league team sports like Basketball and Soccer in elementary and middle school. I didnt look particularly Different, i had shrimp legs* Then, and i have shrimp legs now and have never in my life had Big legs. I was feeling Bad about my body bc i felt Weak. The point? My legs were nothing especially “nice”, they werent and arent, bad legs but theres nothing particularly nice about my legs, certainly nothing warranting an unsolicited comment on whether or not theyre nice. My legs were and are like, average at best. They just look like ur average standard human legs. Except for one thing: theyre skinny.

(Shrimp legs: “Crabs and lobsters have strong walking legs, whereas shrimp have thin fragile legs which they use primarily for perching.”)

My legs are Skinny and that makes them Nice. And i thought about this, and stuff like this keeps happening. Ppl make unsolicited comments on my appearance and size, and often attempt to make a compliment on my size, bc being Skinny is viewed as Ideal. I remember being weirdly uncomfortable about it even when i was younger, when i was, lets just say, Not Knowledgeable in aspects of Social Justice or Fatphobia. Mentioning my pants size in middle school got comments of “oh my god i hate you” from friends of mine, and it made me feel weirdly Guilty about being skinny. At the time i considered it skinny shaming and Unfair, now i look back and recognize: internalized fatphobia from my friends led to discomfort in our interpersonal interactions, and it wasnt their fault, and while it was incredibly uncomfortable for me, it was also bad for them, bc it overall contributed to the overlying culture that shames ppl for being not skinny, and shames them even more if they dare to exist as a fat person who doesnt hate themselves.

Weird, uncomfortable interactions like this still happen, even from my own mother, tho thankfully she is at least semi joking. Ppl treat bodies like mine as Ideal, while hating their own, and it puts them in a terrible position of self hate for no fucking reason, and me on an entirely undeserved (and personally unwanted) pedestal. In addotion to that, its a prime fucking fertile ground in which to sow seeds of bitter distaste for each other between skinny ppl and fat ppl, and bc skinny ppl are favored by society this ends up hurting fat ppl more. Skinny is not better, skinny is not more beautiful, and society needs to stop fucking treating it as such.

And this isnt!!! The fault of fat ppl who make uncomfortable unsolicited comments to me on my appearance and size, this is a wide societal issue of assuming things about my diet, and health based on my size. Being skinny isnt better, or healthier.

When im at work, just doing my job (loading packages onto trucks to be delivered to peoples houses) and a coworker sees how i do my job (i often take packages off the built before they get near the trucks and carry them back, in an attempt to be fast and efficient, bc i want to stay on top of it, not get behind) and comments to a driver that “haha thats why theyre skinny” in reference to me being proactive about my job, its a really!!! Weird amd uncomfortable position to be in. How do you even begin to address that? Bc we know for a fact that if i were fat, me being proactive at my job would go uncommented on. This happened growing up, im a picky eater, but i eat A Lot. I eat Large Qunatities of a Small Variety of Things. One thing i love? Pickles. My own parents, friends parents, adult family friends, would all comment on this, “they eat abnormal amount of pickles and still stay so skinny, maybe thats the Way To Be Skinny” now, admittedly i dont think pickles have a lot of calories, but keep in mind, that was One Thing. I ate pickles as a Snack and then id come home and eat more fuckin pasta than a grown man, as a tiny child. I was not, ever thinking abt calories. Stuff like this kept happening, ppl trying to Puzzle Out, how do i Get so Skinny? Its a trick fucking question, ppl! I dont get skinny, i just am, bc i have a High as fuck metabolism and so far thats meant, I Eat A Lot of fucking food bc i guess my body just Burns thru that shit so fast without doing anything. I joke often that im like a car with Terrible Mileage. It seems like i have to be leaking fuel somewhere, bc it just doesnt Add Up how much fuel(food) i require with what little physical exercise i do and what i fuckin look like. And frankly? We havent found any “leaks”(medical issues that would explain) closest thing is ADHD meds, which can be linked to weightloss and suppressed appetite, but evidence has not shown ADHD meds having any significant impact on my weight. It did, eventually show last year, when i started losing weight after starting my job, bc i was forgetting to eat, and have lowered my dosage and tried to stay more on top of eating. But that was literally the first time i showed any evidence of it impacting my size and weight. Also note: i did not take it during summer and not usually on weekends, and had a few time periods in which i attempted to go without it, once during school and i drank coffee instead, and once like a yr ago when my anxiety was Really Bad so i stopped taking ADHD meds and caffeine. Anyway, point is, ppl keep trying to Puzzle Out what I Do or Eat to Get Skinny Stay Skinny and the answer is i fucking Dont.

It assumes a position of me being Better for being skinny, and that there is some sort of Secret Mystery Thing I Do or Food I Eat that is the Magical Cause for me being skinny, and if they can just deduce what it is they too, could be as skinny as me, bc being Skinny Like Me is Better and A Reward and An Achievement, Something To Aspire To, Obviously, (all Sarcasm) when in reality there is not anything i do or eat that makes me this way, its just How It Is, its how i always Have Been, it wasnt a “reward” or “achievement” its just!!! My body. And its Not inherently Better or Healthier than any fat persons body, and it needs to stop being treated like it is.

My body is neutral, and should be allowed to exist as a neutral thing, not put on a pedestal as an Ideal for being skinny, and especially not put on a pedestal that is placed as a burden on fat ppls bodies, and it needs to stop being presented as some sort of reward, “if you hate yourself enough and work hard you too, could look like this. And remember, if you look like this, you get to be put on the pedestal instead of being forced to uphold the ideal from below!”

Like! This needs to stop, its wrong. Im not even getting the Bad Shit here, and i can tell you its fucking wrong and harmful. Media needs to stop only portraying bodies like mine as beautiful, and stop portraying anything that deviates as ugly and unworthy. Let my body be ugly and average, and more importantly let fat bodies be beautiful and strong, bc they fucking are, theres plenty of fucking ppl out there with fat bodies that are Beautiful and Strong, and yet ppl still act like having a fat character in media be athletic, or adored for beauty, is “pandering” and “unrealistic”.

And also? Nobody has to be beautiful or strong or fashionable or healthy to be fucking “worthy” of your basic fucking courtesy. Not skinny ppl, and definitely not fat ppl. Stop treating me and ppl like me better, we havent fucking done anything to deserve your idealization, and personally i dont fucking want it. I refuse to let you treat me as any sort of ideal, and i refuse to be anyones “thinspo” (note any weightloss focused or thinspo blogs that interact with me/my blog will be blocked.)

I didnt do anything to earn this fucking pedestal, and I dont want it, and I especially dont fucking want it at the expense of ppl who havent done anything to deserve your hate and vitriol and disgust except to exist as fat ppl and maybe even dare to not hate themselves and their bodies for no other reason than that they are fat.

In fucking Conclusion, fatphobia is real but it fucking shouldnt be, fatphobes can fuck all the way off, @ other skinny ppl, we need to collectively do better, shut this glorification down and stop speaking over fat ppl about their experiences and insist we somehow have it worse???

[weltinator]

Music Tag Game

Tagged by @polypaganpancakepearl

This is going to be awful, I fully recognize my taste in music is terrible. 

Put your playlist on shuffle, write out the first 10 songs that come up. My songs were: 

-The Kids Aren’t All Right by Fall Out Boy

-Verge by Owl City

-Forest by Twenty One Pilots

-Jesus of Suburbia by Green Day

-Everybody Wants To Rule The World covered by Lorde

-The Sharpest Lives by My Chemical Romance

-Uma Thurman by Fall Out Boy

-Defying Gravity from Wicked

-State of Dreaming by Marina and the Diamonds

-Birdhouse In Your Soul by They Might Be Giants

I Greatly Regret the amount of emo music I still like. 

10 songs so I’ll tag 10 people. 

@geinlu @chrom-ium @sad-french-fry @bvbblegxmbvtch @kottage @clockworkhacker @waitineedaname @content-with-discontent @princecharmingtobe @krystelitis

[tbhstudying1]

from for the dreams i want to catch http://bit.ly/2sIyrQL via See More

im-gabriels-bitch: turbomun: gauntletspirit: polypaganpancakepearl: thefusspot: So it appears...

So it appears that Autodesk did a thing.

Go nuts, my friends.

[seawatergay]

@polypaganpancakepearl

my favorite character from lord of the rings

[bi-est-witch-of-middleearth]

Rules: Tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better. (Idk if I can remember that many so bear with me) Tagged by @scottishearthbender Nickname: Mal/bi-est...idk man I don't really have a set nickname if you wanna call me something, one of those works Sign: Virgo Height: 5′10" Last Thing You Googled: what memory loss and fatigue were symptoms of Favourite music artist: Lin Manuel Miranda 
Song stuck in my head: "Valerie" - Amy Winehouse Movie you watched: the mummy returns What are you wearing right now: pajamas What do you post: Whatever. Art, memes, news, assorted self defense tips 
Why did you choose your URL: I'm really bi, I love witches, I love lord of the rings....the choice was obvious Do you have any other blogs: no What Did Your Past Relationship Teach You: there's gonna be someone out there who will love you. Who will make time for you, even if you're no longer together Religious Or Spiritual: none Favorite Color: purple, turquoise, or black 
Average Hours Of Sleep: 6 hours, give or take 
 Lucky Number: 14 or 7 
 Favorite characters: Miguel and Tulio from el dorado
 How Many Blankets Do you Sleep With: One duvet Dream Job: voice actor I tag: @dunkindeezdonuts @flufflepuffs-kingdom @jelliefishbones @p-ositive-vibez @asymmetricaleyes @ladyyamimegami @halfkree @gabbyzvolt25 @polypaganpancakepearl @thenonbinary-starprince

[erudipitous]

New art blog

I renamed my art blog for clarity! Please follow @polypaganpancakepearls-art to see my art. I'll still reblog it on my main blog but this way I have a specific archive of my own stuff

[tbhstudying1]

from for the dreams i want to catch http://bit.ly/2sIyrQL See More

im-gabriels-bitch: turbomun: gauntletspirit: polypaganpancakepearl: thefusspot: So it appears...

So it appears that Autodesk did a thing.

Go nuts, my friends.

[queerfandommiscellany]

@polypaganpancakepearl Omg I never realized how much that game very much is post apocalypse

The shops are all closed

The place is in shambles

All that's left is one of the old guy's daughters, sitting around and crying

you know what I want? a post-apocalypse farm game.

you’re a wanderer who happens upon a farm. it’s overgrown and decayed, looks like it’s been abandoned for some time. but as you investigate you meet the old man who lives there. he’s been living on this farm for years but as his health has decayed he’s been increasingly unable to take care of it. he sees you are interested and asks if you would like to take it over. you, of course, say yes.

the old man gives you the tutorials, shows you around, introduces you to the traveling trader who sometimes comes by. not long after you have settled in he passes away, at peace now that he knows his beloved farm is being looked after. 

you do your normal farm game things: clean up the land bit by bit, grow some crops from the last of the old man’s seeds, repair the buildings. you scavenge the land around for old world artifacts that can be broken down for supplies and resources to upgrade your farm. the trader comes by, and as you trade with him more and more, he spreads word and other traders come too, offering greater variety. 

other people come too, slowly, attracted by news of your farm or just passing by. they bring valuable skills, but they have requirements to meet if you want them to stay. slowly the nearby town, long since deserted, fills up again. you help the new residents clean it up, repair the abandoned homes, plant flowers along the cracked old streets. 

there’s no fighting, no violence save maybe a bit of subsistence hunting. just a quiet game about life and community regrowing from the ashes. 

[personwhotalkstoofast]

But thanks to

@the-invisible-umbrella

@arom-com

@serambunctious

@ghostlyboop

@opportvnist

@toytulini

@lokiagentofasgard

@midgetgemdoodles

@paintedshuet

@the-ross-winchester

@polypaganpancakepearl

And too many more names of people that I love so much and am ever thankful to I can say I am now.

I’m not perfect,

I never was perfect,

I never wanted to be perfect,

I just…

Wanted to be me,

Wanted to be happy,

Wanted to be accepted.

[personwhotalkstoofast]

@serambunctious @the-ross-winchester @the-invisible-umbrella @space-jesus @paintedshuet @arom-com @opportvnist @midgetgemdoodles @lokiagentofasgard @fuckyeahasexual @harley-the-pancake @makepeacelovejoy @polypaganpancakepearl

I’m sorry if I’ve forgotten you. I love you all

why are asexual ppl so fuckin beautiful?! like every ace person is an absolute delight to be with!

[aroacepagans]

@polypaganpancakepearl

Oh damn I just saw the post you reblogged about ace/aro ppl in the LGBT history; I would absolutely love to have a list of sources if you can link some! I feel like I’m always pulling my hair out trying to find some, esp. that are good copies.

Absolutely!

I want to start off by saying the sources I have are generally not about history; the nature of the class I’m in is current LGBTQ+ community and representation (that’s literally the subtitle). Furthermore, the idea that “The LGBTQ Community” has ever been exactly one thing and one thing only, static in relationships and who identifies as what, is the ahistorical perspective the post I reblogged was likely referring to. Not that ace and aro people haven’t always existed! But that’s a different post for a different day.

What I can offer you is a few sources we’ve looked at in this class, taught by a bisexual woman with a degree in sociology (who also happens to maybe be one of my favorite people alive), so I’m generally assuming their validity in the context of academic discourse. I haven’t seen published criticism of any methodology in the studies or things cited in the other works, but if anyone has nuanced responses to any sources I cite here please let me know!

“Compulsory Sexuality” by Elizabeth F. Emens is a law article described as follows

This Article introduces asexuality to the legal literature as a category of analysis, an object of empirical study, and a phenomenon of medical science. It then offers a close examination of the growing community of self-identified asexuals. Asexual identity has revealing intersections with the more familiar categories of gender, sexual orientation, and disability, and inspires new models for understanding sexuality.

Thinking about asexuality also sheds light on our legal system. Ours is arguably a sexual law, predicated on the assumption that sex is important. This Article uses asexuality to develop a framework for identifying the ways that law privileges sexuality. Across various fields, these interactions include legal requirements of sexual activity, special carve-outs to shield sexuality from law, legal protections from others’ sexuality, and legal protections for sexual identity.

“Freedom, Invisibility, and Community: A Qualitative Study of Self-Identification with Asexuality” by Pa‘draig MacNeela and Aisling Murphy is unfortunately behind a paywall, but here is an excerpt from its abstract:

This study explored how self-identification as asexual is managed, both as a threat to the self-concept and a source of personal meaning…. A thematic analysis of the transcripts resulted in three themes. Socially, asexuality attracted denial and resistance due to incompatibility with heteronormative societal expectations. Despite the threat to self-integrity arising from asexuality being socially rejected, it was typically assimilated as a valued and meaningful orientation on an intra-personal level, aided by information and support from the online community. A second level of threat to self arose whereby other self-identifications, especially gender, had to be reconciled with a non-sexual persona. The accommodation made to other elements of the self was reflected in complex sub-identities. The findings were interpreted using identity process theory to understand how threats arising from self-identifying as asexual are managed. Although asexuality emerges as an orientation to sexuality that can be reconciled with the self, its invisibility or outright rejection in society constitute an on-going challenge.

“On the Racialization of Asexuality” by Ianna Hawkins Owen [TW: Racism, slavery, sexual violence, pathologization]

I have touched on three examples of the racialization of sexuality that have served to perpetuate white racial dominance through justifications for slavery, citizenship, and fitness to rule. What role has asexuality played in all of this? Given that whiteness is a tacit agreement to misinterpret the world, asexuality is necessarily misinterpreted in order to recruit the orientation’s symbolic possibilities to further the project of racial domination.….I see two sets of responses generated by the ideology of whiteness: first, revering asexuality-as-ideal where asexuality is misinterpreted as the practice of celibacy or the denial of an extant desire; second, grieving for asexuality-as-reparable where asexuality is misinterpreted as a condition accidentally or traumatically estranged from health or knowledge and worthy of repair. In this second instance, asexuality is pathologized not to marginalize it, but as an invitation to rejoin the pursuit of idealized whiteness through hypothetical cures and rehabilitation.

“Asexuality in Disability Narratives” by Eunjung Kim, [TW: ableism, sexual violence] Abstract:

This essay explores normative regulations of disabled people’s sexuality and its relation-ship with asexuality through narratives of disabled individuals. While asexuality has been persistently criticized as a damaging myth imposed on disabled people, individuals with disabilities who do not identify as sexual highlight the inseparable intersection between normality and sexuality. Disabled and asexual identity and its narratives reveal that asexuality is an embodiment neither to be eliminated, nor to be cured, and is away of living that may or may not change. Claims for the sexual rights of desexualized minority groups mistakenly target asexuality and endorse a universal and persistent presence of sexual desire. The structurally and socially enforced asexuality and desexualization are distinguished from an asexual embodiment and perspective disidentifying oneself from sexuality.

“Intergroup bias toward “Group X”: Evidence of prejudice, dehumanization, avoidance, and discrimination against asexuals” by Cara C. MacInnis and Gordon Hodson, a study of self-identified straight people that determined they are willing to dehumanize and discriminate against asexual people at similar rates to other LGBT identities (specifically, extremely similar negative responses to bisexual individuals). [TW: homophobia, biphobia]

In two studies(university student and community samples) we examined the extent to which those not desiringsexual activity are viewed negatively by heterosexuals. We provide the first empirical evidence ofintergroup bias against asexuals (the so-called “Group X”), a social target evaluated more negatively,viewed as less human, and less valued as contact partners, relative to heterosexuals and other sexualminorities…. We suggest that the boundaries of theorizing about sexual minority prejudice bebroadened to incorporate this new target group at this critical period, when interest in and recognitionof asexuality is scientifically and culturally expanding.

“Why We Need Mental Healthcare Without Asexual Erasure – And How to Get There” by Kirstin Kelley. This is the only non-scholarly article linked so far, but I think it’s a valuable one to look at. [TW: gaslighting, intimate partner abuse]

The first person I told was my therapist. Big mistake.

She immediately responded by telling me that my asexuality would go away as I got older (I was 18 at the time). She also said that she thought that my lack of interest in sex was probably “just a symptom” of my depression.

I argued and told her I didn’t think it would go away. It was true that I’d been experiencing depression since long before puberty started, but it just didn’t feel like a symptom to me – it felt like an identity.

I never went back to that therapist, and it was years before I tried to get help dealing with my depression again.

Again, these are all sources I’ve read in an academic context. I will probably add more as the semester goes on (and I’ve left out a couple readings having to do with asexuality that weren’t of as much interest to me), but here you go!