#@dead-immortal this is for you (affectionate)
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And if I say Cas and Gabe already have feeings for each other? And that Cas fell first (not that they know) and Gabe fell harder (kinda knows but it has them crying throwing up pulling out their hair sobbing)?
#cas just knows that ever since they saw gabe they wanted to annoy the shit out of them and push their every button#and strip away their golden persona and expose their ugly side that they keep hidden#(and be slammed to a wall by them and railed)#(who said that)#on the other hand gabe has hated cas and want them dead ever since they saw them and then during id they find out that#cas is capable of good and love and protects mc and also shows a different side of being a vampire#and helps them realise that being a vampire is more complex than they thought#and with them gabe is able to let go and be mean and petty and angry#they don’t have to be perfect#or overcompensate in order to feel human (and not a monster)#and cas is exciting and fun and makes gabe more comfortable to get loose and break the rules#and now gabe is holding their head in their hands and banging their fists against the walls and ugly sobbing#because what the FUCK do you mean that they’re attracted CAS HARLOW (derogatory)(more affectionate than they’re comfortable with)#‘fell harder’ meaning that it’s hitting HARD for gabe#gabe/cas#cas/gabe#immortal desires#gabe x cas#cas x gabe#cas harlow#gabe adalhard
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@like-a-young-prospero @doppelgangerleaverite @lovethatcoat
you might think it’s very evil to jettison cryopods into space instead of waiting to wake up the people once you reach your destination. but sometimes the people awake on the generation ship are second class citizens who are never intended to leave the ship for the new planet. if that’s the case then shoving all the frozen people out the airlock is actually praxis
#chasm city#when u think of it this way u do begin to see how he kinda thought that people would get behind him#he tried to give non-immortals a planet planned for immortals. but like it was never FOR them. that would involve too much empthy.#he was just mad that titus pulled him out of the cryopod and he had to live like 100 years of his life on a ship when he wouldnt have had to#and when you mix that with him totally already being a psychotic egomaniac (affectionate)#also i think a lot about the fact that either in the living or dead that he jettisoned. somewhere were his biological parents.#at least theoretically#i highly doubt someone had a baby frozen on a generation ship without its parents coming along as well.#so like absolutely 100% he jettisoned his biological parents#i wonder if he ever did his little ritualistic fucking with the controls to his parents' reefersleep caskets#would he even know if he did? does he have any way of finding in the ship's computer systems what his original name was?#mans has too many names lmao#ok i'll stop doing a stream of consciousness in the tags
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Dark Platonic Ancient Egyptian Deities X Reincarnated! Reader
Ra (god of the Sun and King of the Gods)
As the father figure of the pantheon, Ra takes a patriarchal protector role. He insists you stay close to him in his solar barque, safe from the dangers of the mortal and divine realms.
He grows obsessive about shielding you from chaos especially Apophis, even refusing to let you leave his sight during the night.
Ra often calls you his 'ray of light,' claiming that your presence eases his eternal burden of maintaining Ma’at (cosmic order).
Isis (goddess of Magic and Motherhood)
Isis becomes a motherly figure, fiercely nurturing and protective.
She insists on teaching you spells and protective charms, even if they’re far too hard for you.
She forbids you from interacting with anyone she deems 'unworthy,' claiming she’s the only one who understands how to keep you safe.
Her possessiveness is crude and unyielding; she uses her magic to track you and ensure no harm comes to you, even if it means manipulating others around you.
Osiris (god of the Underworld and Rebirth)
Osiris is calm but quietly obsessive.
He views you as a symbol of renewal and life, a bright presence that balances his somber existence.
Maybe that's because he knows that you are a reincarnation?
Oh wait, he is the one who had you reincarnated in the first place.
He tries to keep you within his underworld domain, rationalizing that it’s the safest place for you, free from earthly or divine dangers.
Osiris has a slightly eerie way of expressing his affection, saying things like,
“You belong to eternity, just like I do.”
Anubis (god of Mummification and Protector of the Dead)
Anubis is like an older sibling who takes his role as your guardian far too seriously.
He constantly watches over you, often from the shadows.
His possessiveness appears as distrust of anyone else, mortal or divine, who tries to approach you.
He justifies this by claiming his duty as a protector.
If you ever get hurt, even slightly, he blames himself and becomes even more overbearing, ensuring no one gets close enough to harm you again.
As for the person who harms you, they will get mummified alive.
Horus (god of Kingship and Sky)
Horus is fiercely territorial, viewing you as his personal charge.
He sees himself as your rightful protector, fighting off any perceived threats to your safety or happiness.
And it doesn't help that his mother, Isis, encouraged him to be like that.
He’s competitive, constantly trying to prove that he’s the only one who can protect you.
He often gets into arguments with other gods over who should have custody of you.
His eagle-eyed vigilance means you’re rarely alone, as he swoops in at the slightest hint of trouble or perceived disobedience.
Set (god of Chaos and Storms)
Surprisingly, Set sees you as a calming impact in his chaotic life.
Your innocent, pure nature makes him protective, almost soft-hearted in your presence.
He grows extremely possessive, believing that only he understands what it means to protect you in a world full of danger and betrayal.
Set doesn’t shy away from using intimidation or brute force to keep others away from you, including the other gods.
He is the first one who suggests that the deities should turn you into immortal or even a goddess.
Thoth (god of Wisdom and Knowledge)
Thoth is fascinated by your knowledge of the modern world and becomes obsessed with learning everything he can from you.
He is the only one after Osiris that knows that you are reincarnated.
He justifies keeping you close, by saying it’s for 'scholarly purposes' yet we all know that he enjoys your childlike curiosity.
He tries to isolate you, offering endless books and scrolls while discouraging interactions with others, fearing they might distract or corrupt you.
"I have found a new rare scroll, who about we read it both together instead of going out for a walk?"
Bastet (goddess of Cats, Home, and Protection)
Bastet is smothering affectionate, treating you like a fragile kitten.
She insists on keeping you within her temples, surrounded by her sacred cats.
She’s fiercely territorial and sees anyone approaching you as a threat.
Her claws come out literally if anyone tries to take you away from her.
Bastet’s love is suffocatingly warm, she showers you with gifts, affection, and constant attention, leaving little room for independence.
Sekhmet (goddess of War and Healing)
Sekhmet is a ferocious guardian, seeing herself as your warrior and protector.
She’s quick to destroy anything or anyone by draining their blood, but only those who she perceives as a danger to you.
And she perceives every human as a danger.
Despite her fearsome nature, she’s surprisingly tender with you, often calling you “little one” and insisting on tending to your needs personally.
She becomes enraged at the idea of you being harmed or taken from her, leading to bursts of divine wrath that shake the mortal and divine realms.
Sobek (god of the Nile and Crocodiles)
Sobek views you as a fragile, precious being who needs constant protection.
He assigns himself as your personal guard, often scaring off others with his intimidating presence.
His possessive attitude appears in his insistence that you remain near water, claiming it’s the safest place for you.
He has a soft spot for you, often bringing you gifts like shiny trinkets or freshly caught fish.
"Why would you need to cook the fish, my dear? it's better if it is eaten raw."
#ancient egypt#egyptology#egypt mythology#horus x reader#set x reader#platonic#platonic yandere#reader insert
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My understandings of what Primarchs are currently alive and dead, what their status' are: Loyalists: Leman Russ: Running butt ass naked in the Warp, if the armour if any indication. Probably a Wulfen and horribly mutated like Corvus. Possibly could be fine. Chances very slim for him not be a mutated wolf thing with viking braids. Anyway his sons are mildly disturbed by the armour they keep finding Lion: Alive and pissed. Commits so many war crimes behind Guilliman's back. May or may not be making it his personal goal to give Guilliman as many grey hairs as possible. Roboute Guilliman: Stressed and thinks humans can't rule themselves. Asshole. Needs a break and to actually spend time with humans and actually thinking about the fact it's been ten thousand fucking years. That's impressive for an empire. Corvus Corax: Fucked up bird man in the warp. Probably learning that feathers suck to get blood out of and questioning how the fuck his white winged brother kept his feathers so fucking clean even though said brother routinely caused blood baths in life. Has probably pecked someone to death. Vulkan: Probably alive. Somewhere. Might actually be in a volcano somewhere. His death goes against his lore so who knows what the fuck is going on here. Jaghatai Khan: Also in the warp, has no idea where the fuck he is and isn't stopping for directions. Honestly he's actually existed the warp couple of times he was going so fucking fast. Probably also slowly getting mutated. Might be fine though. Probably passed a naked Leman a couple of times and is really confused by the fucked up bird thing calling itself Corvus. Rogal Dorn: Could be dead, could have a sick ass prosthetic hand. No idea what's going on with him. Sanguinius: Incredibly dead. Probably a good thing that he is. Otherwise he'd probs be a traitor primarch too with the Imperium in its current state- Ferrus Manus: Also very dead. Probably was seething mad at being killed by Fulgrim. Very likely died seething mad. Traitors: Fulgrim: Is a four armed winged snake thing. Having mad sex and doing way too many drugs. Probably also eating a lot too. And then sleeping it off because snake. Has a chunky boyfriend if Tumblr is to be believed. Magnus: Trying to rebuild, also an arrogant prick. I support him even if he's a dick. If only because what happened to Prospero was a travesty of the highest order. You go my weird rainbow nipple horned demon prince. What is your obsession with titty horns??? Mortarion: Depressed but has family. Is infected with diseases that are probably not even invented yet. Probably also not a skinny rail of a man anymore courtesy of Papa Nurgle who is a better dad then the Emperor ironically. Probably can't stand to look himself in the Mirror. Angron: Angy, so very angy. And obsessed with blood. Even if he wasn't immortal by virtue of being a demon prince, he'd probably be too angry to die. Not entirely sure if this is actually better then being dead. Lorgar: Not entirely sure, but I assume he's somewhere in the warp spreading the word of chaos like some sort of messed up anti jesus or something.
Alpharius /Omegon: One's dead, the other is alive. Which twin died and which one is alive is a damn good question. Possibly neither are even dead. Absolute bastards (affectionate). Perterabo: Grumpy old man wanting to be left alone and forge. He yearns for it. Mostly content to just make stuff and burn his skin off. Good things he's a demon now I guess. Go make stuff, have a hobby that's kinda healthy. Sort of. Konrad: Pretty dead. Saw it happen and let it happen. Probably for the best because dear god this man as a demon prince is terrifying. Horus: Also very dead. Might actually be even more dead then Sanguinius considering Horus' soul was probably destroyed.
#I was quite drunk when I wrote this so take it with a grain of salt#also haven't read any of the books#literally mostly know it through tumblr#Leman deserves to run around naked#feel free to add on#as I said#very drunk right now#warhammer 40k#warhammer 30k#primarchs#magnus the red#rogal dorn#mortarion#horus lupercal#sanguinius#leman russ#fulgrim#Perterabo#konrad curze#lorgar aurelian#jaghatai khan#alpharius omegon#Angron#ferrus manus#lion el'jonson#roboute guilliman#vulkan#corvus corax#enjoy my rambles
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A False Sense
Remmick x Reader
Holy crap I felt like I was writing interview with a vampire with the amount of dialogue and recounted there is in this. Uh slow burn and you talk like a lot…
Warning - Death, Vampires, blood, all that jazz, Dead dove (not really but part two will be)
Part ½, possible prequel
Bruises didn’t stick and wounds healed quick but… the memories, they were haunting. They refuse to leave, replaying in the back of your skull like a broken cassette tape. Yet you still managed to keep a smile on your face because you survived it. Even managed to kill the fucker and sever that damn connetion but in the back of your head you worry that maybe it isn’t over.
You sat on the floor of the woods, blood dripping from your mouth, dirt staining your hands. The man before you was breathing heavily, your eyes watching as his chest rose and fell and his Adam's apple bobbed.
“Do you think that's enough?” He asked sheepishly, sweat running down his forehead. His breath was hot and his eyes were sunken. He was tired, you had taken more than you promised. You smile, teeth shining in the moonlight. Grabbing the blade you'd been using all night long to carve the man up, you gently wiped the metal on your dress allowing the red ichor to stain the fabric before pocketing it. Laying your back to the earth, you look to the stars. They shined down bright and friendly like an old friend. The one constant in your immortal life were those twinkling lights, people came and went, animals died, and nature often left destroyed but those pretty lights never left. Sure there were nights where it was harder to see them than others but you knew they were still there and that's what brought you comfort night after night. “Yeah I think so.” You stated, closing your eyes and allowing the cold air to affectionately kiss at your skin. “I think I may have over done it tonight.”
“I think so too.” Louis grimaced in pain as he laid next to you. His eyes running up and down your body, looking for something, anything that was out of place and would point to the monster he believed you to be. The longer his eyes looked the more his mind drifted to the conclusion that there was nothing out of the ordinary about you, you had no tells. And that, well that wasn’t okay. It put him on edge, his skin crawled and tiny goosebumps would materialize on his brown skin. Just the thought that he couldn’t tell your kind apart from his kind frightened him but still he said nothing. “You know it’s been three years since you smashed into me and my sister's life like battering ram. And still you ain’t very forthcoming about yourself.” He pauses looking to you for a reaction that wouldn’t come. “It ain’t fair you know.”
Letting out a deep sigh in what could only be human mockery, you groan. Slowly you flutter your eyes open as if waking from a thoughtless slumber. “Three years, huh? Time really is but a stubborn illusion, a fleeting moment constantly on the run.” You smile, soft, kind. “Fine… I'm an open book. What do you want to know?” You ask as you use your elbow to lift you up. Looking deep into Louis' worn out eyes. You should get him home soon.
“How’d you come to be like this? And don’t reply with no poetic bullshit, okay? I ain’t stupid, I want the real answer.” Bold boy, he was. His hunger for answers pumping through his veins, a need for knowledge ripping through the air. Your instincts told you to dance around the question, run him in circles till he was dizzy just like you always did but what good would come out of that. You’d spent the last three years doing so and now the jig was up. “Well ain’t that a loaded question.” You laugh trying to hide your unease.
“I was hunted… hunted like a baby fawn.” You took a deep breath, the memories engulfing you like a dark cloud. The face you tried so hard to forget flashing in your mind like a film reel. “He said he loved me. Said he knew me better than I knew myself.” You allowed yourself to let out a bitter chuckle. “In the end, I guess he did.” Louis looked on quietly, his eyes never leaving yours. “I let him in one night. My hunger, my lust, it clouded my judgement. He wasted no time showering me with love and adoration, it was nice.” A distant smile appeared on your face before dropping.
“I allowed the events of the night to creep up on me, lulling me to sleep in his arms. When I woke the sweet remnants of sleep still hung to my body but also this indescribable dread. It clung to me like a leach, buried itself in the pit of my stomach. He was gone of course, the morning rays shining down on my dark skin, giving it a reluctant golden hue. I still remember how beautiful that sunrise was that day. The midtones of orange, yellow and even a luminescent pink clashing with each other for control of the sky, as the sun smiled down at all creation. It was so warm, so friendly, I could’ve fallen back into the arms of slumber in an instant if it wasn’t for the nauseating dread that was clinging to me.” You didn't realize it but your breathing became uneven as your mind went to the events that followed after that sunrise. You closed your eyes if only for a moment.
You were there again. Feet anxiously climbing down the stair case as a sickening rotting fragrance filled your nose. Eyes wide as you looked at the gore before you. This wasn’t real, it couldn't be. Your dads body was broken, contorted in ways that didn’t seem possible. His bones poked out where they shouldn’t and stomach gashed open with his intestines spilling out. His eyes were haunting, the lively brown hue they carried, now gone and greyed over. Not far from him was your mother. Her face stretched out in horror, the expression ingrained in her loving brown features. Her throat was completely shredded, all components on display. You could even see the pale white bone making an appearance through the heaps of blood. A wail so guttural and raw left your mouth that night and you cried for hours on end. You had come to believe it was your fault.
“Y/n you’re crying.” You blinked a moment. You mind racing at an inhuman pace you struggled to catch up. You smile, wiping the cherry tears from your face, you laugh. “Sorry about that.”
“Anyways I woke up that day to my parents dead in the living room and my dog, Little Daisy gored on front porch.” You breath, pulling your body forward you sat up before crossing your legs. “He left me to stupor in his actions, he enjoyed watching it eat at me from a far. It took me months to leave the house after that. Reduced to a hermit, I lived in fear. But it’d be years before he’d strike again. He waited, waited til I was comfortable, happy, safe. He was always content to play the long game. Something I never grew to understand.”
“Why didn’t he just kill you that night? Turn while you were laying up in bed with him.” You laugh sharp and bitter. “You listening to me? He didn’t kill me because what’s the fun in that?” You asked. “I let him in and for that, there needed to be consequences. My parents and little Daisy were just that… Consequences.”
“But you let him in again, didn’t you?” Louis accused. “How else would he have gotten his hand on you?”
“Of course not. I would’ve never let him in, I don’t purposely make the same mistake twice.” You left those words in the air for a moment. Silence surrounding the two of you.
“Like I said, he waited. Waiting till he became a distant memory in the back of my mind. Waited for me to get bold. Waiting was what he was good at. It took a while but I did get bold, started testing my luck by going outside when the sun sunk low. I had to… needed to, the house was suffocating, had been for years but I couldn’t bring myself to go anywhere else. All my memories resided there, riding my first bike, the many piggybacks my father gave me, my mother and the ‘secret’ girls night we’d have when dad was working late. I latched onto it all because outside of memories all I had was the house. My parents weren’t well off so to give them a proper burial I sold things, things that I would’ve treasure if I knew better.”
“But April 26 19XX I chose to be bold. Bold for the last time. I sat on the wooden swinging chair that resided on the porch, an old thing with striking baby blue paint littered on it. Long aged, the paint was chipped and peeling but she was still a beauty. I was tired, lazy, the book that resided in my lap long since abandoned and my eyes began fluttering closed. It’d been a long time since I’d had the chance to fall asleep with the wind kissing so lovingly on my skin. I took the risk, I acted boldly, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.” “No” Louis whispered clearly enraptured by your story.
“I don’t know what time I woke up but when I did the moon was softly shining down on me. It was comforting but only for a moment. I felt time slow as the wood of the chair creaked. He was sitting beside me doing what he did best, watching and waiting.” You wouldn’t dare go over the intimated details of how that night unfolded. The things you endured that night never meant to be recounted or relived. “He turned me that night, just before sunrise.” Your voice was quiet barely audible above the crickets and cicadas as they sang.
“But you say you killed him!” Louis said his voice full of hope. The words noticeably coming out loud and proud. “That what sis says anyways.” He said his tone shifting to be a bit meeker after noticing his voice had scared aways many of wildlife that resided in the forest. Another true and genuine smile found itself pressed into your lips. The brother and sister duo really did crack you up with their antics. A shame you were only feeding on the one tonight. “Where’s your sister anyways?” You asked.
“My question first.” Eager was the serpent to feast. His hunger for knowledge leaves holes in his stomach that only you could fill. You chuckled. “Yeah I suppose I did. But that didn’t come first, What came first was severing the ‘connection’ we had.” “Connection?” He questioned.
“Vampires have this connection to one another, like a symbiosis relationship. Not only did he get my memories but I got his. I saw the countless nights he spent waiting for me. I saw his first hand account of him murdering my parents, my dog. And those memories, they drove me crazy. They replayed in my head like a fucking siren. It felt like it was his doing, like he was the reason they wouldn’t stop like he wanted me to watch those moments over and over again. And maybe he did, he had a peculiar way he went about things.” There was a profound sadness now present in your eyes. Louis sat seemingly amazed at just how expressive your eyes were. They told their own story time and time again.
“Now about that sister of yours?” You asked, giving a friendly tilt of the head. As Louis opened his mouth to answer, the sound of a branch snapping could be heard loud and clear. You both snapped your head in the direction of the noise. Your body immediately stiffened and you felt as though all the blood you had just received ran cold. What stood before you was hardly a few feet away. A ghost of a man with blood soaked clothes, in his hand he held an iron grip on the decapitated head of Zuri, Louis’ sister. The spinal bone still attached, her eyes were stuck staring back at you in horror. You could only imagine what her last moments looked like.
“She ain’t wanna miss out on the pleasantree’s thought I'd bring her with me.” Remmick voice and smooth and sweet like honey, always was. Even when he would whisper in your ear about how he would break every bone in your body. It made you sick. Louis cried out his eyes never leaving his sister's head, tears started to rain down his face like a water hose that was not quite shut off. “How?” The word came out quiet, frightened.
“I did what I do best darlin’… Watched and waited.” He mocked. He had been there lurking far longer than you realized.
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I wanna do mafia AU next man
#dead dove do not eat#remmick fanfic#remmick x reader#remmick x you#sinners#sinners fic#remmick sinners#sinners 2025#dead dove fic#remmick#remmick x black!reader#dark! remmick#slow burn#vampires
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Sexiest Podcast Character 2024 — Scripted Redemption Bracket — Round 6.5
Propaganda
Madge Stallion (Fawx & Stallion) (Boba Count: 2 and 3 shared):
#madge propaganda time : #she will flirt with basically any girl she sees and oh she does it so well #also !!! she once flirted and got on with technically an enemy in the middle of a spying mission ???? #she went like 'oh sorry just gotta go to the loo' to go spy in the house got caught and flirted so well she 1/ got laid 2/ got information #3/ came back like nothing happened #with some motivation she could flirt and get a boner from a dead rock tbh #madge stallion IS THE SEXIEST
Antigone Funn (Wooden Overcoats) (Boba Count: 2 and 3 shared):
Amazing character arc/growth; shadows follow her around; afraid of the sun; methanol is her drink of choice; is often told “I thought you were dead” despite a complete lack of evidence other than her deathly paleness; the morgue is her personal sanctuary; absolutely hilarious character; demanded to be co-owner of Funn Funerals with her brother rather than allowing him to continue running the business alone;(spoiler) decided NOT to get with her frenemy who she had been doing a will-they-won’t-they thing with the entire series!; writes smut in her free time
Renée Minkowski (Wolf 359) (Boba Count: 1 and 2 shared):
MINKOWSKI DID NOT METALBGEAR SOLID HER WAY THROUGH A DERILECT SPACESHIP TO FIGHT A SENTIENT PLANT MONSTER FOR THIS
ADDITIONALLY, MINKOWSKI DID NOT KILL THE *NIGH-IMMORTAL BIG BAD OF THE WHOLE SERIES* WHO REPRESENTS CAPITALISM GONE AWRY WITH THE SAME HARPOON SHE HUNTED THE SENTIENT PLANT MONSTER WITH FOR THIS!!!
All three of them:
VOTE FOR MINKOWSKI AND CO.
John Doe (Malevolent) (Boba Count: 1):
John needs this win
Let's gooooooooo, Malevolent!
GUYS VOTE JOHN. THE RAT MAN'S GOTTA LIVE
HIS VOICE IS SO GOOD 🤤
Vote John Doe! World’s worst husband (affectionate)! He deserves a win
Mod Note: Some of the propaganda refers to John Doe as a "trans icon" which I assume is linguistically derived from the term "gay icon" which frequently refers to celebrities who are not gay themselves.
Art of Madge Stallion, Antigone Funn, and Renée Minkowski generously illustrated by @acornzest.
Additional propaganda below the cut:
Madge Stallion (Fawx & Stallion):
Madge Stallion was submitted without propaganda.
we gotta get our girl some propaganda. she would hate it, but the mystery of it all is kinda part of the appeal here.
Madge stallion NEEDS no propaganda
Madge: so sexy she needs no propaganda
#madge stallion is a great woman to lose to
#Madge she's a sassy lesbian detective what else do you want
#madge stallion needs no propaganda #by virtue of being madge
This is propaganda for all the female characters. Voters please remember how pretty all women are and factor that into every single vote you make. Thank you.
Raging lesbian in a lavender marriage
Seduced someone working for the enemy
Is just as chaotic and at time brain cell-less as her male companions
Loyal but still willing to call her friend since childhood out on his bullshit
She canonically fucks. Like in canon she fucks so much. See above about seducing the enemy and then pepper in her on again off again romance with Martha Hudson.
This is the woman who always has anything you might need in her bustle. Portable phonographs, certainly, but what else? Alcohol, without doubt. Knives? Probably. More knives? Wouldn't be surprised. Candy? Always good to have something to mollify Hampton with. More alcohol? Well, James can always do with a little nip. Another knife? Why not? Lockpick set? I mean, where do you keep yours?
Madge propaganda from a show that had the pleasure of guesting with her! At the end of the day no matter how you squeeze or present it, a great character is a great character and Madge is the best by a mile. Wonderful one-liners, complex and layered relationships with everyone in the cast around her, a messy and real depiction of female sexuality (especially a lesbian!) that she is never punished or demeaned for, and all of this brought to life in a performance that could make a phone book fun. Look and you’ll see: Madge’s writing and acting speaks for itself!
Everyone messaging us “please let Madge kiss [redacted]” we will remember your support during this difficult time should this go our way
Madge is literally THE BEST EVER
Antigone Funn (Wooden Overcoats):
What on earth could possibly be sexier than being presumed dead by the village she lives in at large. She genuinely cares about funerals as an art form, she puts so much care into her work. Possibly bisexual if that helps. Ghost wrote a wildly popular erotic novel with the help of village’s reverend. Come on just please vote for Antigone I’m so very sleepy and I can’t think of more reasons but I promise they’re there
#antigone!!!!!!!!! #i just need one chance with her #she's perfect
This is propaganda for all the female characters. Voters please remember how pretty all women are and factor that into every single vote you make. Thank you.
I'm voting for Antigone not because she's sexier (she is) but because she needs at least One Win in her life. #girl failure solidarity
1. she is very sexy. We know she's deathly pale, she's described as transparent more than once as well as green and blue-skinned, she's 35~38 depending on what season you're listening to. She's allergic to like everything.
Her hair is canonically always a mess and she uses it to hold on to bones and things she's gonna need later. She wears the same dress every day (it has a hole in it)
She's one with the shadows and can blend in with her surroundings to a supernatural degree.
2. She is rough and socially inept and artistic and the most passionate person you can imagine. She puts her heart and soul into her work as a mortician, SHE CREATES PERSONALIZED EMBALMING FLUIDS TO MAKE THE CORPSES SMELL NICE and she WILL tell you about it.
She is somehow always angry or flustered about something and she will pull victorian era phrases you cannot imagine. She's been saying Christ Alive since before it was cool.
3. SHE LOVES SEXY THINGS!! she is the most fitting for this tournament cause she's the queen of learning to accept her desires!! She loves old french films and their weirdly shot sex scenes, she's canonically really good at writing erotica and likes to read it too. There's a whole episode dedicated to her conquering her fears and appearing on a naked calendar. Also we hear glimpses of her fantasies and she wants to tie up and dom the guy she likes so there's that too I guess.
She spent 17 years locked in her mortuary cause she was sad. SHE WANTED TO BECOME A CLOWN AS A KID. She is everything to me and I love juno very much but she is sexier and deserves to be known that way. VOTE ANTIGONE
Antigone's mess might be an acquired taste, but I think it's a deeply attractive mess.
SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH A BLOND GUY ONCE SHE EARNED HER REST
Renée Minkowski (Wolf 359):
the most badass commander there is. she spent a week hunting a plant monster living on the air ducts of her station with a goddamn harpoon. she managed to keep her people alive and get them home. she managed to keep Eiffel alive for like five years and for that alone she deserves a fucking medal
She did not just spend one week hunting the plant monster, she spent TWO WEEKS hunting the plant monster. Later on, she used the very same harpoon to murder an evil capitalist WHILE SHE HAD A BULLET IN HER CHEST.
She's haunted by the memory of the first time she took a life, and what's sexier than a character with regrets?
She works out. Muscle women. Enough said.
She's devoted to protecting her crew above all else, and despite her self-doubt, she's REALLY damn good at it.
She's a theater kid! She loves musicals! She writes showtunes! Sondheim is her favorite composer!
She Russian-Roulettes a guy into not blowing up her ship, and does such a good job of it that he never even realizes there aren't any bullets in her gun.
She's been trapped in a time loop, possibly multiple times.
She's the best character in all of audio drama, I love her, she's beautiful, she's sexy, and she deserves every vote.
#minkowski my beloved. love of my life. other half of my heart. sexiest woman in podcast ever. i love her
#MINKOWSKI!!!!!! #i love her sooo much fun fact
#my girl! my favorite girl! she won! #let's keep this energy going everyone!
I don't really remember anything about Wolf 359 since I only listened to a few episodes so I'm throwing my lot in with whoever has the most compelling/funniest propaganda. I think this would be funny and I commit to nothing if not the bit
This is propaganda for all the female characters. Voters please remember how pretty all women are and factor that into every single vote you make. Thank you.
But. MINKOWSKI. Please read all that Minkowski propaganda I wrote and then consider voting for her. She's the love of my life and THE sexiest podcast woman, bar none.
Please. I beg of you. Read all the propaganda I wrote, and then vote Minkowski. If you're still not convinced:
She's a first-generation Polish immigrant, and a huge part of her arc is about feeling like she had to hide her identity and prove herself to make it in the US. When she lets her accent slip out in episode 52, it's the sexiest thing to ever happen.
She has the entire rule book for her space mission memorized so she can better take care of her ship.
She talks to ghosts on multiple occasions.
She has a gay little dynamic with the 2024 sexiest podcast character, Isabel Lovelace.
She expertly navigates multiple hostage situations.
Along with musicals, she's ALSO really into Sylvia Plath.
She lives under a rock and does not know anything about pop culture, which is adorable.
She writes show tunes!
vote Minkowski. I am not asking. do it.
Minkowski has ALWAYS been great
MINKOWSKI GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO MINKOWSKI! YOU CAN DO IT!
All three of them:
#madge #antigone #renee #THREE WAY ALL DAY #keep it tied!!!
I’m so sorry @sexiestpodcastcharacter but the funniest possible outcome is another tie and we are a comedy…
As Minkowski's #1 fan and a firm believer that gay sex would fix her, I am entirely pro-another tie. Minkowski's losing 55-45 right now- vote for her!
#EVERY #BODY #WINS!!!!
John Doe (Malevolent):
A fragment of the Eldritch Deity that has gained independence, attached to possibly the world's most pathetic man. Also have you heard his voice
JOHNNN, JOHN I BELIEVE IN YOU
Gonna need everyone to vote for John plz
Don't let John down, he needs a win, he's had a miserable time lately : (
his voice is jsut. really good
sorry but queer rumbling voice John Doe is too powerful to not vote for here. Also no one in canon will tell him this and he deserves to know.
ok but the way John Doe said labrynthine
If John wins I'll write him kissing Noel
Trans Icon
LISTEN TO HIS VOICE
Threatens to disembowl anyone who hurts the person he loves
Once tried to kill a priest for making goo goo eyes at his man
Was an evil warlord turned soft poetry lover
Can still throw hands when needed
Clever as fuck
Wants to see a movie SO BAD
Memorizes poems just for his wet cat -V protective of his wet cat partner
Crew we can't let trans icon movie lover, most jealous husband in the universe John Doe lose...
If John wins I'll cosplay him again
Vote John!! he's everything. eldritch god, in a codependent relationship with a feral cat of a man, nice voice, he even likes poetry
I've actually nutted to John's voice before. /hj
like this isn't even his full power s2 voice but mannnnn he sounds so hungry and feral for Arthur all the time...
ASSEMBLING THE MALEVOLENT CROWD. POOKIES FOLLOW YOUR DUTY AND HELP THIS MISERABLE MAN OUT!!!!
do NOT let my glorious goat LOSE!!!!
hey all my mutuals, do some work for your favorite yellow boy
Guys vote John Doe as sexiest podcast character please he deserves this 🙏
VOTE JOHN DOE EVERYONE!!!! LOOK AT HIM!!!!! MY BELOVED YELLOW GLOWING EYE CREATURE!!! HE CERTAINLY DESERVES YOUR VOTE !
PLEASEEEE VOTE FOR JOHN😭😭😭 he’s so GODDDD HES AN ELDRITCH GOD THAT JUST WANTS LOVE😭😭 (if you know me PLEASE VOTE FOR JOHN I KNOW YOU DONT KNOW HIM BUT PLEASEEEE HES PERFECTTTT!!! And also listen to Malevolent 🤩)
(vote John tho, he's such a baby, you wouldn't hurt a baby!)
i wasnt gonna say anything and just see how it turns out but PLEASEEEE VOTE FOR JOHN PLEASE MY POOKIE💔💔💔💔💔FAVOURITEST GUY EVER HIS VOICE IS SO NICE PLEASE PLEASE💔💔
Let’s not let this trans icon down guys. He didn’t fight to be who he decides for nothing. And that is the sexiest thing imaginable.
John was absolutely an eldritch nightmare BUT is literally getting better and learning empathy and consent which is very sexy
Hello my friends and random people in my phone. Please consider voting John Doe for Sexiest Podcast Character. He is barely beating Helen Distortion and eyes are so much cooler than spirals. John deserves one (1) nice thing and if that nice thing is being voted the Sexiest Podcast Character of 2024, who am I to deny that to him? Who are we to deny that to him? Use your voice, tumblr. Vote for John.
The one who’s changing and growing, powerful and terrifying but can be tender and good, capable of mind-fuckery but instead trying to be a better being and make up for thousands of years of terrible choices
John's entire identity is about defying the rules you were forced into at birth, and deciding you can be whoever you decide. And nothing is sexier than that.
Hello, we the good people at John's campaign headquarters, come to you with a very special message about our candidate and why he deserves your vote with a compilation of his best hits.
A vote for John is a vote for justice. And being your true self. And choosing your own name. And being really really cool.
VOTE JOHN PLZZ KING DESERVES IT
PLEASE ONCE AGAIN I BEG EVERYONE TO VOTE JOHN DOE
Mutuals, friends, family you know what to do,
Im pissed it was originally just yk what to do but somone rebloged it with anti john propaganda....
So please vote John Doe
Please please please vote for John people!!!!
It's his birthday 🥺🥺
VOTE JOHN ITS HIS BIRTHDAY
Hello everyone, PLEASE REMEMBER OUT TRANS ICON JOHN DOE OUR KING OF KINGS <3
Character growth is sexy
youtube
youtube
youtube
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John Propaganda video by @lunaescribe and @rotflea.
JOHNDOE2025 video by @curbledmiilk.
John Doe Acceptance speech by @malevolentcast.
#2024 Round 6.5#Madge Stallion#Antigone Funn#Renée Minkowski#John Doe#Fawx & Stallion#Wooden Overcoats#Wolf 359#Malevolent#Fawx and Stallion#Renee Minkowski#John Doe Malevolent#Malevolent Podcast
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can you do the Jojo x gender neutral reader who's always had bad luck,but is very optimistic about it. Like there whole life is just one big "Final Destination" movies*(The whole premise of the movie is that the literally death itself is trying to kill the characters in ridiculous convoluted ways)but they never died and only get minor injury . That be a very cool concept. (If you want a reference to this just look up Milo Murphy's Law)
ooh sure i love the final destination movies haha hope u enjoy and thank you for requesting <333
Jonathan Joestar
The first time Jonathan sees you narrowly dodge death (a chandelier falls two inches to your left), he screams.
The second time (you trip into a sword display and only get a scratch), he faints.
You’re always like, “Well! Could’ve been worse!” with a sunny smile and a bleeding knee.
He starts shadowing you. Holding umbrellas over you. Moving sharp things. He’s like a bodyguard for a cartoon character.
“You must have the luck of angels,” he says, amazed.
“Nah, I think death just keeps missing,” you joke. He does not find that funny.
Honestly? You give Jonathan anxiety. But he also deeply admires your bravery and optimism.
“How are you still smiling?” he asks, genuinely.
“What else am I gonna do? Frown about my cursed fate?”
He falls in love right then and there.
Joseph Joestar
Thinks you’re joking at first. Until you’re nearly flattened by a falling billboard during lunch and just go, “Oopsies!”
“You attract danger like I attract women,” he says, watching you trip over a rake into traffic and somehow come out with only a scraped elbow.
You’re the only person he’s met with worse luck than him- and that thrills him.
You: “Anyway! At least I didn’t die!”
Joseph: “Marry me???”
He brags about your survival record constantly. “My partner’s been through 26 almost-fatal events and walked away with a limp. Top that.”
Buys you themed merch like a “Death Can’t Catch Me” t-shirt.
Tries to outrun death with you like a duo. He makes it a game.
Lowkey terrified, but loves how you make even horrible situations feel like adventures.
Jotaro Kujo
You dodge a car crash, get hit by the bumper, and just sit up like “Huh. That was weird.”
Jotaro stands there in dead silence, staring like you’re a cursed object.
“Yare yare daze. Are you immortal?”
You: “Nope. Just lucky! Or unlucky? One of those.”
He doesn't talk much about it, but he follows you everywhere.
Starts using Star Platinum to yank you out of danger before it happens.
The number of times he’s caught you mid-fall is insane. You don’t even realize it half the time.
You: “How come I always end up okay?”
Jotaro: internal screaming ‘Because I’m literally playing whack-a-mole with fate to keep you alive.’
He never says it aloud, but he thinks your optimism is the strongest thing about you.
Falls in love when you smile through a broken arm like, “Well, at least it’s not both arms!”
Josuke Higashikata
You show up to school with a bandaged leg, a burn mark, and paint in your hair like it’s totally normal.
“WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU???”
You explain that a scaffolding fell, you stepped in a pothole, and then your oven exploded a little.
Josuke is in TEARS. He immediately tries to use Crazy Diamond to fix you.
You: “Oh, don’t worry! It’s not that bad! Last week I almost got eaten by a bear!”
Josuke: “HELLO??? MAJORLY WORRYING???”
He gets extremely overprotective. Everything becomes a threat.
The microwave? Dangerous. A butterfly near your eye? Death omen.
He loves how you’re always smiling through the chaos. You literally fall down a flight of stairs and go “Wheeeeeee- ow!”
He calls you “his little disaster magnet” (affectionate).
Starts a journal of all the ways you almost died.
Giorno Giovanna
Giorno is convinced you’re cursed.
Not in a mean way- he just genuinely suspects some ancient, malicious power is following you around.
“You’re sure you haven’t pissed off a god?”
You: “Nope! I thanked the vending machine last week, does that count?”
He has to help patch you up constantly. Like on a daily basis.
But he’s fascinated.
He sees you smile after almost getting electrocuted and goes, “You’re incredible.”
He starts plotting ways to outsmart death around you. Moves obstacles out of your path before you notice.
“You think I’m going to die?”
“No. I’d never allow it.”
“Aww”
Jolyne Cujoh
Jolyne watches you trip over nothing, fall off a third-story ledge, land in a bush, and pop up with a thumbs-up.
“You good???”
“Yup!”
She’s a mix of horrified and in awe. Like, death is actively trying to grab you by the ankles and you just keep cartooning your way out of it.
“You remind me of a final girl in a horror movie who just won’t die.”
You: “I am the final girl. But like, in every movie. And the sequels.”
You become her favorite person to hang out with. Life’s never boring around you.
Uses Stone Free to grab you whenever anything looks remotely dangerous. (You almost get pulled into a pasta machine once.)
At first, she teases you for being cursed. But over time, she gets really defensive if anyone else says it.
“You’re not cursed- you’re… built different.”
Johnny Joestar
You fall off a roof. Land on a trampoline. Bounce into a hay bale. Walk away with a nosebleed and a smile.
Johnny stares at you like: "That was three death traps in a row. Are you possessed?"
You: “Honestly maybe.”
He starts thinking you’re the Stand. Like you’re just manifesting ridiculous survivals by sheer will.
You’re the only person whose luck is so bad it outdoes his, and he respects that.
At first he’s frustrated- “WHY is everything trying to kill you?!”- but over time, he softens.
You never whine. Never cry. You just keep walking.
That hits something deep in him.
“You’re strong,” he says once. “Even when you shouldn’t be.”
You: “You too.”
Josuke Higashikata (Gappy)
He watches a construction crane fall right next to you. You come out with paint on your shoe.
Gappy: “WHY do these things keep happening to you??”
You: “I dunno! But check it out, I found a cool rock!”
You find strange joy in near-death. He finds that terrifyingly attractive.
He worries every time you leave the house.
“Message me when you get there. And if the building hasn’t collapsed.”
Soft & Wet starts following you around like a mom duck. It steals hazards out of your environment.
You appreciate the help but keep going, “I’ll be fine!” with your arm in a sling.
Josuke starts to believe you're invincible. Still freaks out every time.
When you survive getting hit by a fridge dropped from a blimp, he just proposes on the spot. (Kidding. Maybe.)
Jodio Joestar
He witnesses you get electrocuted by a power line while tripping over a cat. You get up like, “That was zappy! Anyway- ”
He immediately thinks you’re some kind of Stand magnet or government experiment.
“You need to STOP going outside. Just stay indoors. In a bubble.”
You: “But I like the sun!”
He watches you walk through a literal chain reaction of chaos and come out of it with a stubbed toe and a coupon.
You’re so chill about it. So breezy.
“How are you still ALIVE?!”
“Vibes.”
He’s both deeply scared for you and a little bit in love with your unbothered energy.
Starts to look at death itself like “you want them, you gotta go through ME.”
#jojo's bizarre adventure#jonathan joestar x reader#jonathan joestar#joseph joestar x reader#joseph joestar#josuke higashikata x reader#josuke higashikata#giorno giovanna x reader#giorno giovanna#jolyne cujoh x reader#jolyne cujoh#johnny joestar x reader#johnny joestar#gappy x reader#gappy higashikata#jodio joestar x reader#jodio joestar#jodio x reader
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Poly relationship headcanons for movie Louis and Lestat
I'm putting off doing this for the TV Louis and Lestat because I'm still early on in season two, and I don't want to do anything OOC for them. Anyway, I'm hopefully going to have another chapter for my Immortal Lovers fic coming out soon.
Content includes: Brief mentions of a sick reader, Lestat has a temper on him, Louis has Catholic levels of guilt, maybe a bit of an unhealthy relationship
Considering you're a human, you probably either knew Louis before he turned, or you met Louis before he learned to not get involved with 'mortal affairs' anymore.
He'd try to keep you secret from Lestat for as long as he can, but of course Lestat finds out and he quickly develops an attraction to you, and from that attraction grows feelings like Louis has.
There will be lots of back and forth between the two of them about if you should be turned or not. Lestat saying that it's better for you to be turned and Louis saying that you shouldn't.
But in the end, when you get sick and they're not sure if you're going to make it, Louis can't bear to part from you, so Lestat turns you into a vampire.
Or I could see Lestat using you as a way to sort of 'trap' Louis into staying with him if he was going to try to leave. Kind of like what he did with Claudia but this time it's for romantic partners.
Early on in your vampire life you can choose who you share a coffin with until you get your own. If you choose Louis he'll be affectionate, but still get you a coffin in a reasonable amount of time. But if you choose Lestat, he's going to drag it out for as long as he can.
Both men are going to shower you with affection. Louis' romance being more so verbal and through actions, like taking you out for walks together, or seeing plays and operas. Where as Lestat is going to give you gifts and get you fancy clothes made to your every desire.
Lestat isn't the best teacher there is when it comes to the ways of being a vampire. Of course he tells you about not drinking dead blood and using a coffin, avoiding sunlight, never killing in the house etc, etc. But if you want more knowledge on vampires, you'll have to go to Louis, or do your own research.
Louis prefers to hunt alone, still feeling some amount of guilt at having to eat from humans if he wants to sustain his immortal life. But if you insist, he'll let you join him some nights, when he isn't feeling as guilty.
Lestat however, is almost always happy to have you join him on a hunt. He likes to drag his meals out a bit so having someone to share it with is nice.
There are some occasions that the three of you go out together on a hunt. Lestat is usually the one who initiates these hunts, finding the victims and setting up a private area for the three of you to share. It's not often this happens, but you three still do it once or twice a year.
Louis prefers the dates that he takes you on to be more 'romantic' or 'traditional' like taking you out for the night or spending it at home together, embraced in each others arms, reading books and talking.
Lestat prefers for your dates to be more public. Going out to parties together, seeing plays and operas, going shopping wherever you two please, maybe even using a hunt as a sort of date.
But Lestat also has his outbursts. Getting into fits of rage yelling at you and Louis. His temper gets the better of him at times and he usually leaves for the night to collect himself again. But by the next night he'll apologize with some kind of gift, you rarely ever hear him say that he's sorry.
But Louis can also get caught up in Lestat's yelling sometimes, the two of them getting into arguments of just shouting back and forth. But Louis will come to you after and apologize.
I can see the two of them using you as a way to speak to each other if they're not on speaking terms. If an argument got a bit too out of hand and they're not ready to make up they'll have you relay messages for them, Lestat more so than Louis. For two immortal vampires they can be rather childish at times.
#lestat de lioncourt x reader#lestat x reader#louis pointe du lac#louis x reader#interview with the vampire 1994#interview with the vampire#iwtv 1994
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I finished the fic from the wonderful ideas of @hostuuagain and @brainzezz !!! Basically it's Mel and Breadhead bonding while sharing myths and stories that they heard from Ken and Mud!
It was finally a day off, a scarcity when working at the Whale Belly Butcher shop. Even though a break from time to time was pleasant, Mel absolutely hated being bored. And having time off equals BOREDOM.
Ken and Mud were off doing a "restock" for the resturant which was just code for kidnapping random fly people, picking up actual supplies for the resturant, and taking care of a few... pests along the way. Jack was home with his mother for his day off, which bummed out Mel a bit but she couldn't blame him for wanting time away from his work family.
At least Breadhead was still here. He had opted out of going with the other smiling dead crew to instead practice his piano playing. Mel had always liked listening to Breadhead's playing, he was pretty skilled for having no training other than the basics that Ken showed him. It reminded Mel of when she was still little, watching her older brother play the piano while her dad held her closely. Simpler times.
But reminiscing on the past wasn't gonna cure her boredom.
"Sooooo..." Mel slid over beside her large bread brother, watching him gracefully play despite how much larger his fingers were compared to the keys. "I'm bored aaand you're the only one here, you wanna mess some shit up?"
She was ready to keep her mischievous streak strong and steady, any risk was worth killing her boredom. Breadhead turned his massive loaf to look at her, pausing his playing to think. "Nah, I dont really wanna go anywhere today. 'm not in the mood." He said before returning to the song without skipping a beat.
Mel scoffed "Well then what do you want to do? Cuz either we do something together or I do something alone." Breadhead didn't like the idea of his sister causing mayhem by herself. Yeah she could hold her own but despite all the years they've grown together, he still hadn't seen her die or revive. Part of him was terrified that maybe something was wrong with her and she wasn't immortal like everyone else.
He wasnt about to find out now. "Hmmm... What if we told ghost stories and urban legends like when we were little?" Now Mel looked intrigued, which calmed his nerves thankfully. "Ghost stories? Alright bread boy, but you better still not get scared of them like you did when we were little," She teased, giving him an affectionate punch to his arm.
Breadhead wasn't about to admit that the stories of an angel storm devouring anything and everything in their path still gave him the chills.
They were now sat across from each other, Breadhead sitting in two chairs so he'd be comfortable. It still amazed Mel how her brother was such a massive dude, that didn't stop her from teasing him to the ends of the earth. It was even better when they were both teasing Mud or Ken.
"Alright!! Lemme try to remember a story," Mel thought long and hard for done spooky story her dad had told her when she was little.
"I GOT IT!!! Do you remember the story dad told us about the rotling that's been here since the beginning of the gaslight district?" Breadhead shook his head no, and Mel felt a little bit disappointed in him that he didn't remember such an awesome part of rotling history. "Ok well you don't need to remember cuz I'm gonna tell you anyway.
Long ago, before the world became just one island, there was a rotling who told stories of the world before rotlings. A world full of greenery and animals, one where humans ruled the world." Mel whispered when she mentioned humans, feeling slightly hurt when her brother recoiled at the mere mention of a human. She couldn't blame him though, humans are their own urban legend that Mel didn't want to bring up too much.
"They say he would talk about how the skies used to be blue, and there was this green stuff that'd grow from the ground called grass, and that the sun would light up the whole planet without needing any gas lamps. It was a world full of life, and according to the guy if you died that'd be it. No coming back."
"Do you know what they did to him Mel?" Breadhead looked genuinely curious, not his usual 'I've got some joke planned and you don't know' look.
"Supposedly, he was the first ever rotling to be cemeted," She mischievously whispered, leaning in to add a dramatic effect. It seemed to do the trick since Breadhead leaned in too like they were worried about being listened in on, "Woahhh, and you said dad told you that?"
"Yup," She popped the P, "He only told me the cementing part when I was a bit older though. SO, you got any stories you wanna tell?"
Breadhead didn't think nearly as long or hard about the story he wanted to tell, "What about the Gas Man? You've gotta remember Mud telling us that one before bed," He let out a deep chuckle. "How could I forget it? It was Mud's favorite thing to tell us to get us to go to bed," Mel remembered all the times Mud threatened them with the idea of the Gas Man and let out a laugh at the memory.
"I think it went somethin like like this," Breadhead straighted up and got into his story telling position, knees up to his chest with his arms out like he was trying to read a crystal ball to get your fortune. "You ever wonder how so many of our lamps stay lit? You can thank the Gas Man, he goes around the island lighting any lamp he sees out. Some people say they've seen 'im, but they're fibbin'. Cuz if you've ever met the Gas Man, you don't come back. Mud said if the Gas Man catches you, he turns your fluids into oil and uses your flesh to light the lamps. He takes anyone that's out too late, no one's safe from the Gas Man."
Mel cringed at the idea of being turned into fuel for the lamps of the district. Even when she was little she never liked thinking about it for too long, she guessed that childhood fears aren't really stuck in childhood.
Breadhead caught on immediately and started giggling at his little sister's discomfort. Mel shot a glare at the loaf and that shut him up.
"Ok ok ok, you wanna hear about how cementing started?" Breadhead nodded vigorously, unsurprising to Mel considering how much joy he takes from crushing and eating rotlings and fly people.
"So, it all obviously started with that one guy who wouldn't shut up about... you know whats. And the others were pretty sick of his ramblings of the world before ours, and since they couldn't kill him they thought 'why don't we just try to lock him up?' It worked but only for a few centuries when people forgot about him and he escaped, he started talking about more weird and gross creatures once he was free. Everyone was sick and tired of the guy. So one brave rotling decided to try and drown him, they gathered as much rocks and bricks as they could, tied it to the insane guy, and threw him off the island into the depths." Mel acted out the motions of throwing someone off into the ocean, something she had hoped she could actually do one of these days (if Ken would let her.)
"It worked even better than just locking him up, and people forgot about him for even longer. It was nice without some insane man's ramblings on the island. But like usual, he came back. He was one crafty son of a bitch and made it everyone's problem. This time though, he was talking about their buildings, specifically this material that could withstand the test of time. He even insisted that there was still some of it underwater from eons ago.
So with one last ditch effort, that same brave rotling as before dove under the island and collected as much ancient rubble as he could (all while only drowning a couple of times.)" She whispered that last part to Breadhead, who seemed rather impressed by the notion.
"He listened to the mad man's rants, figuring out the best way to turn this trash into something that'd finally rid everyone from this annoyance. From those ramblings and rants, the rotling learned how to make cement. And it was perfect. The first ever cement block wasn't the best looking, but when that insane guy went plummeting into the cold depths below, he never came back up. Other people realized how useful this could be and started making their own cement! And then it became the best way to get rid of any annoying preacher or local mad man. Or in our case anyone with too much money," Mel chuckled at her own joke, thankfully Breadhead thought it was funny too.
"Wow Mel, and dad told you all this? He's never told me stories like that," The loaf seemed sad at that fact, and Mel realized that Ken never really did tell stories to Breadhead like he did with his daughter. "Well it's ok Breadhead! Dad takes you on missions and to go out and do hits, he doesn't do that with me!" While she hoped that'd change soon, she didn't want to ruin the moment for her brother.
"Thank you Mel," Breadhead said while giving her the biggest smile ever. "You wanna steal some of Mud's stash and get wasted?"
Mel's smile grew as wide as her brothers, "You read my mind bread boy!"
#the gaslight district#glitch productions#fanfic#tgd mel#tgd breadhead#tgd ken#tgd mud#tgd jack#those last 3 are mentioned only#tgd#cross posted on ao3
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OH YOU RASCALS THIS WAS AN ARG THING ALL ALONG!
I thought this would be a regular streaming session. I WAS BOO BOO THE FOOL'ED!
Some stuff from the stream:
Who the FUCK is Meliora?!
You saying the Living Glass thing was so Resh'an could join the ranks as an Ovate?!
Resh'an told Thierry his job was to "get everyone on board."
Project Sparrow (maybe game 3?)
Someone died, but has returned and this is significant.


OKAypkayOKAYokaYokaOKAY.
So joining the ranks and obtaining a specific Ovate title is something Resh'an is trying to achieve to "fix his own problem" (which checks the fuck out because he's a goddamn war criminal with a lot of bullshit.)
I thought the Ovates were an ancient race long thought dead, but maybe they're still around and So Very Elusive that obviously draws an immortal God-like being in to want to join their secret treehouse club. Thierry states it's a "matter of heart", implying Resh'an's method is selfish.
Which checks out because HE'S the fucker who lets his ex-boyfriend still live despite the massive amount of damage being caused throughout the multiverse. It's a form OF love, but it sounds like it lacks the kind of heart the Ovates expect of. And likely why Resh'an has yet to be a member.
I should let you know in the artbook, it's implied Elder Garl did become an Ovate. Which further checks out because who is more selfless and kind and wonderful than Garl?




So I was expecting Throes of the Watchmaker would just be a side plot with little relevance to the main story. It might still be, BUT never let it be said Sabotage wouldn't plant foreshadowing and story details for future plots. What will Resh'an take from this "circus adventure" if at all?


Do you know how GOOD I am eating right now? Ambiguously morally "good" Resh'an with hidden agendas, pride and ego beyond measure, and so many goddamn flaws any mortals can see is my JAM. I love that he is still complacent on so many awful shit and people keep calling him the fuck out. LOVE IT. DO IT MORE. BURN THIS WAR CRIMINAL (AFFECTIONATE.)
Now excuse me, I need to let this sink in because HOO BOY, this is gonna FUEL my comics for a good while.
The VOD for this stream is here: www.twitch.tv/videos/24292...
#sea of stars#the messenger#neoyi talks#resh'an#I AM KICKING AND SCREAMING#FUCK YOU RESH'AN (affectionate)
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Dead Boy Detectives Fic Recs Part 6
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
Sorry its been a while, last month was crazy! Not too crazy for my emotional support fandom, though! You guys are giving me life. So please have another fic rec list. :)
We two boys together clinging by Aliquis
Charles and Edwin explore their romantic and sexual hangups and also help Crystal search for Niko. This fic has everything: excellent writing, developing relationship, rituals, first time, Beltane, a hot priest. This is already a fandom classic and now I've finally read it, I can confirm it's very good! Read the rest of the series too!
The stranger the better by ghostinthelibrary
Everyone's alive and basically the supernatural version of the Men in Black. I love the whole series, but this installment has the boys' first meeting, Edwin insisting he doesn't need a new partner, office gossip and an intriguing case. The prequel also has palasaki and background catwin! Anyway, I'm obsessed with this AU.
Partridge in a Pear Tree by Vamillepudding
Cinderella AU! Charles is basically a Disney Princess and Edwin is Secretly The Prince, it's wonderful. I also loved the worldbuilding and nods to old school Cinderella lore, like the gift-giving tree. So charming, highly recommended.
Wunderkammer by dear_monday, two_ravens
Edwin and Charles (and later Crystal) are functionally immortal and running a magical museum. This fic has a fantastic sense of place (the Athenaeum is a character in its own right) and an intriguingly gothic horror vibe with its sentient exhibits, doors into other planes and unnerving nonchalance about disappearing staff and guests. I would probably die, but I would absolutely go there.
pinch me (I don't want this to be a dream) by shadowquill17
The pince-nez fic! Charles finds a pair of glasses that show him a person's desires. Then he looks at Edwin. It goes about as well as you'd expect. It was inspired by this wonderful comic by technically-human so check that out too!
Let Me Follow by LikeMmmCookies
Time loop fic! The boys get trapped in Crystal's mind, replaying the day of Charles' death. Only Edwin is the New Boy in school and he's alive... Fantastic concept, so intriguing. Plus Crystal being a badass, The Sandman crossovers and Niko!
Oaths of the Forsworn by e_va
Vampire AU! The boys meet while Charles is dying so Vampire!Edwin agrees to turn him. The story is ongoing, but so far it's been focusing on Charles coping with being a fledgling vampire. Compelling.
lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate by KiaraSayre
Edwin is in Hell. Or is he? Fabulous writing, Hell worldbuilding and gut-wrenching detail. Cw for body horror and torture.
'Cause You Cut Through All the Noise by DontOffendTheBees
Edwin doms Charles in a therapeutic and non-sexual way. That's it and it's great. I loved this for its exploration of intimacy, trust and kink.
Instructions on Being by thewritingotter
Everyone is Alive Modern AU based on an AITA post featuring Charles convincing himself he's homophobic when he realizes he hates Edwin dating other men. It sounds like a funny premise, but really brings the angst and poignancy.
in an alternate timeline's light by plentyghost
Charles finds comics!Edwin hiding in the office. Sweet.
Become So Numb by snowkatze
AU where the Night Nurse doesn't help Charles and Edwin spends another 50 years in Hell. Loved Edwin's mechanism for escape, kind-of-dark Charles and the angsty reunion.
unidentified affectionate object by lyres
Edwin is struck by a curse that manifests his feelings as random objects. Good thing Charles isn't also effected... Very cute with mild angst and a happy ending.
between you and me, suddenly something is on my mind by lolotr
Beach episode! A proper one. Just fun, friendship and emotional support. Plus Edwin in an Edwardian swimming costume, complete with a handy visual aid.
Other Types of Intimacy by Asidian
After a tough case, Edwin takes care of Orb!Charles. (Chorb? Is this chorbwin?) I guess I have a thing for non-sexual intimacy. Seriously, though, what could be more beautiful than someone cuddling your soul?
(black is the colour) of my true love's hair by ObsessedWithFandom
Charles has long hair: the fic. Interesting ghost lore with Charles' hair kind of working like his mood-ring polo and growing when he's happy. And this is an established relationship payneland fic, so lately he's been very happy. 😜 Honestly, as a child of the 80s, Charles deserves to have long hair. I need more fanart!
@ghostinthelibrarywrites @shadowquill17 @tumblerislovetumblerislife @lolotr @technically-human @dont-offend-the-bees @neurodivergent-fangirling @fishy-lava @many-gay-magpies @cordelia-noir @whatthehorsedoicallthisblog @shazziez @extremely-eager-reader @atariakana @tragedy-machine @guardianspirits13 @colourmornings @herebehunters @dearheartdont @avoiceofnerat @littlepocketuniverse @overlord-of-chaos @fairandfatalasfair @handwrittenhello @every-moment-a-different-sound
I've added some tags for people who left fun tags/comments on previous lists. Let me know if you'd like me to add you on the next one. :)
#dead boy detectives#payneland#fanfiction#fic recs#my fic recs#my recs#dbda fic#dbda fic recs#payneland fic#payneland fic recs#dead boy detectives fanfiction#dead boy detectives fic recs#palasaki#fic rec list#chedwin#fic rec friday#painland#dbda fanfic#dbda fanfiction#charles x edwin#paineland#payneland fics#dbda fandom#vampire au#beach episode#crossovers#modern au#dom/sub#time loops#cinderella au
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"ALL I WANNA DO IS GET HIGH BY THE BEACH!"
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚— HUMAN FYODOR X SIREN FEM READER
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩SUMMARY: A man with a haunting past and a dead lover has already lost hope in all of humanity. He originally wanted to save humanity, not until the only person he loved the most perished because of it. Avenging of what he can, he does heinous crimes and carry a hatred towards humanity due to the loss of his lover.
𓂃 ࣪˖ ཐིཋྀ — ANGST + HORROR + ROMANCE + PSYCHOLOGY
A/N: Im gonna make this fanfic quite short since I've been busy and drained.. Please enjoy the read<3!
( ၴႅၴ+WARNINGS! : DRUG USAGE, MURDER, DEATH (+ nickname usage, - Lyubov' (love) & Ангел (angel)

Being somebody who is considered 'immortal' wasn't easy, you see the people you love die easily.
Originally, fyodor wanted to save humanity, he believed that everyone needed saving except the people who abused the abilities that was bestowed onto them by the heavens.
He only loved ONE person, a woman who has gained his interest and his affection. The love he had was unconditional and affectionate, a raging storm that was shined upon with the everlasting moonlight. And that was all YOU.
But one day, you needed to visit a certain island due to your studies, being the lover fyodor was, he was quite skeptical and paranoid that something may happen to you, but he didn't wanna cut off your freedom as he does love you dearly.. So he let you off.
With a kiss on the hand and a cheek, you leave the house with a suitcase, on your way to the ship that you were going on, it was a ship controlled by a wealthy and powerful dictator, who the DOSTOEVSKY wasn't fond of.
The ship set sailed in ease..
A few days later, fyodor received a message that the ship went missing. Including you. And the only person who survived it was no other than the dictator himself.
Fyodor clutched his fists as he read through the letter, it wasn't often he was enranged like this, but the melancholic feeling of his lover missing consumed him, how could he let this happen? He should've never let you on in the ship.
Eventually thats when he became a ruthless man, he was already making ability users perish but the only thing he admired and adored the most has been taken away from him, he had a plan. A plan to kill the dictator.
He was used to hiding, but he didn't want to anymore. He'd do anything to avenge your death. Your body wasn't even found.
⁺‧₊˚ஓ༻𓆩♡𓆪༺ஓ˚₊‧⁺
Years passed by, population went down due to his sprees, this void in him was eating him alive.
Every neck he slashed and every shot he has taken was all for you.
He walked through the jagged rocks of the beach, trying to get away from his past. He wanted to forget about it, but he didn't wanna forget you. He walked groggily, he recently took some Lysergic acid diethylamide, he wanted to lay off of life for a second and forget his surroundings. He wasn't normally this disheveled and unhinged, but your death really took a toll on him.
The wind howled through the decaying coastal town, carrying with it the scent of salt and the distant, mournful cries of the sea. Fyodors face gaunt and hollow-eyed, stumbled along the cobblestone streets, the weight of the past dragging at his every step. He had come to this place seeking something anything that could fill the void left by the death of his wife. But in his search for solace, he had found only darkness.
He took another blotter paper with LSD, he walked till the end of the coast line, nobody was around as the numbing feeling of the substance took over his chest, that dulled tha pain he endured. His legs were cut and he was pale and skinny, you were always the one who was taking care of him that he forgot what to eat, drink and how to sleep.
He looked at the moon with half lidded eyes and soft breathing before hearing a familiar voice. The singing was melodic and smooth to hear, a voice that had the same pitch, tone, and key to yours. This can't be real right?
He immediately walks over to the sound, trying to find it. The sky was oddly colorful today. It was a deep blue. He walked over and he hears it getting louder, he breathes heavily. Running towards the sound, he didn't wanna speak yet. He had to find out himself, were you still alive? After all these years?
With unsteady steps, he descended the rocky path to the shore, the waves crashing violently against the rocks. There, in the shallow waters, stood a figure, bathed in the ghostly light of the moon. Her hair tangled and damp, her skin beautiful and glistening with the spray of the sea. But it was her eyes. those familiar, haunting eyes—.. that stopped fyodor in his tracks.
"Lyubov'.." he muttered with wide eyes and disbelief, his sadness washing away from his chest.
His breath caught in his throat. It couldn’t be. Yet, as he looked at her, he was certain that this was his wife, that returned to him from beyond the grave. His heart swelled with a mix of joy and sorrow, his mind reeling with the impossibility of it all.
“fedya.. ” you whispered with a teasing grin, your voice a soft, melodic echo of the song that had called him. breath caught in his throat. It couldn’t be. Yet, as he looked at her, he was certain—this was his wife.. His beloved lover, That returned to him from beyond the grave. His heart swelled with a mix of joy and sorrow, his mind reeling with the impossibility of it all.
“You came back Ангел..!” he choked out, walking toward you with an admiring grin. “I knew you would come back."
The siren, his wife, smiled, a sad, distant expression that seemed almost… wrong.
“I never left, fedya. I've been here all along. Awaiting for your arrival, my dear." you whispered softly in his ear.
He fell to his knees in the icy cold water, reaching out to touch her. His hand trembled as it brushed against your cheek, you leaned into his touch, your skin cold, damp, and scaley..yet familiar.
He grinned gently, wrapping his hands on your waist, admiring your beautiful face. This is what dreams are made of right? Everything felt completely right. His eyes were filled with adoration and solace. The gaping void in his chest was filled once again, he was finally with you. His wife.
"I've done alot of things in the past, im afraid. But i did it all for you." he caressed your skin, but it felt.. Hard and cold. He ignored that, he just wanted to be with you, to touch you, to love you all over again. "I want you to understand, lyubov'. If you come back amd see the way things are now, don't be afraid."
His eyes were locked onto yours, tucking a piece of your hair behind your finned ears. He looked down, seeing your scaley tail. He didn't care of you weren't human anymore.
You lean onto him, "I'm back now.. Come with me instead, into the depths of the ocean." he nods, his gaze locked onto yours, "let go, and be with me.. Forever. In the sea. We'll love again,"— he nodded, his thumb caressing your cheek as he held your waist securely. "we'll laugh again, and we'll be together. Forever."
His heart pounded in his chest, his breath coming in ragged gasps. He had yearned for this moment, to be reunited with you, to finally find peace and have you in his arms. He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours, cold and salty like the sea.. But how beautiful you were..
But as he kissed you, he felt nothing but bones. He felt something hard, it wasn't the soft lips that he would kiss every night.
No.
It wasn't.
The substances effect slowly faded away, he looked back at you.. his eyes wide with horror. The figure before him was no longer his wife, no longer the ethereal beauty who had called to him from the sea. She was something else!- something twisted and grotesque. Your bones were pale, bloated, mottled with decay, and your eyes.. those eyes.. were empty, hollow sockets.
This was not a reincarnation of you as a siren. It was your remains. Your rotting missing cadaver that had washed up on shore. Your boned were waterlogged and broken, her limbs twisted at unnatural angles. The crashing waves of the oceans was evident that it crushed your body. The waves and smell of the sea surrounded him as he held your decaying bones.
He looked at your ring finger. It still had the ring he proposed to you with, a patch of grey rotting skin was under the ring. Your skin, that he worshipped and adored the most. His breath was jagged and he held your hand, a single tear dropping down his eye.
The corpse stared back at him with empty eyes, her mouth twisted into a mockery of the smile he loved. He looks down and he held your decaying body close, leaning his head onto your shoulder.
"I.. I will then. If you want it, I'll do it."
It was all a hallucination. But he didn't want to believe that. He believed it was still you. He carried your rotting bones in bridal style, like he did during your wedding day.
He took another dose of his substances and he walked deeper into the ocean.
Deeper.
And deeper..
And deeper.
A/N: the color of the theme is blue and white, completely different from my theme which is red and black..but i wanted to change it up abit. Thanks for reading. This actually made me sad abit..
© All works by @Verlaineszz. Do not copy, redistribute, or repost on other platforms.
#bungou stray dogs#bsd x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader#horror#bsd fyodor#fyodor dostoyevsky bsd#fyodor dostoevsky#fyodor x reader#siren aesthetic#horror fiction#angst#no happy ending#lmfaooo#psychology#bungou stray dogs fyodor#fyodor x you#fyodor dostoyevsky x reader#bungo stray dogs fanfiction#bungo stray dogs
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More Jack Harkness PLEASE. I don’t even know what to ask cause I’ll read anything. Also you’re fantastic.
☆ — dating jack harkness headcannons

✧ masterlist — navigation
✧ carmillas thoughts — AUGHHH my stupid wife i love him so much. i’m gonna be so fr i’ve wanted doctor who (and star trek but that’s a long shot) requests for freaking ever but both fandoms are dead as balls so thank u i heart u apologies for taking ages to write this. like always this can be read as both doctor who and/or torchwood jack
✧ warnings — none!
despite the fact he always has something sexual to say he has his own little moments where he’s really sweet and affectionate in a way that doesn’t involve being freaky
he’s a very touchy person, because after being alive for so long due to his immorality he’s gotten used to everyone he loves dying/leaving at some point and just like holding your hand or just having his arm around you or just physical touch in any way is something he really loves
other than touch, jack is also very vocal about telling you how much he loves you and how amazing you are at any time and just everything he can possibly compliment he probably will sooner than later
his memory is also pretty good and he’ll remember important dates and information about you or things you’re interested in and will probably just have some general information about them in his head cause he’s secretly a loser nerd (/aff) and he’ll be happy to just have long conversations with you about any topics you’re interested in
his favourite topic to discuss is probably history though, since he’s lived through part of it and could time travel for awhile before the doctor stopped him from being able to do that, and can tell you all kinds of stories and talk about famous historical people and so many things
god forbid you guys go to a museum of any kind because he will start pointing out all of the inaccuracies and how a lot of the information was wrong or how “he/she didn’t look like that” or “that’s not what happened”
museum dates are probably his favourite though because you guys get to hang out and look at times he saw first hand and he gets to talk about them (he will stop if you get bored though. probably)
also, he will start the relationship with a general amount of knowledge about you but overtime will slowly start to notice little things you do, like which hand you use more often or mannerisms and will be able to pick up on if you need him to step in almost immediately
by analyzing everything you do subconsciously (it kinda just happens because he likes to look at you while you’re doing whatever. he finds you very interesting!) he also figures out what things you like/don’t like from other people and incorporates those into how he acts
because he works at torchwood he just becomes good at reading body language and facial expressions after awhile
as we’ve noticed, he doesn’t really have a specific type in people (other than men in suits apparently. he was kinda crazy over both ianto and the doctor) but i do think he’s drawn to people who are either aesthetically/personality-like different from him
being with someone who acts the opposite is just interesting to him because then it’s always like a fun surprise, alt he he still wouldn’t mind if his partner was like him because than it’s very easy to understand eachother
i genuinely think jack doesn’t care what people look like (as we’ve learned. that episode with chan tho) but will clock literally anyone who says anything about his partner and is not above pointing things about their appearance back
i feel like he’d want you to meet the torchwood five (four. not including him obviously) because those are his friends who he sees everyday. not to mention hes gotten freaky with them all
the doctor, however, i feel like he may be opposed to because the doctor kind of just abandoned him even though he knew jack was immortal and just kind of tends to hurt his companions/people he’s around unintentionally but with some light pushing he’d probably give in
by give in i mean he’s like “if we run into him sure” but he won’t outwardly search for him so you guys can meet (probably)
dates are really fun with him because it’s always either something normal and romantic or something absolutely insane that no regular human being will have thought of
there’s a good chance he gets his time travelling watch thing i forgot the name of fixed and you guys just go to the 1800s for a day or something
also he’s the type of guy to be allergic to the most random shit please keep him away from aluminum foil
#mars writing 🧈#doctor who#dr who#jack harkness#torchwood#john barrowman#doctor who x reader#dr who x reader#jack harkness x reader#torchwood x reader
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— Your traces remain, yet your face blurs with time
Hobbies are meant to bring peace and joy, but for Zhongli, painting was neither. Each stroke weighted heavy with the memory of you, yet your face blurs with time.

Zhongli x Dead!Reader
• Grieving Zhongli, Painter Zhongli, Muse Reader, Zhongli can't remember, Zhongli dealing with grieve
Your voice were as sweet as a honey glazed over a pastry, gentle as the wind that brushes off his skin, soft as the cold pillow that you used to sleep on. Your voice was all he could hear, it felt like as if you’re besides him– whispering affectionate words that brings him comfort.
Unfortunately, that was all he could remember. Your voice.
Uncountable rounds of canvas scattered around his room. Zhongli had long retired from his Godhood which means he takes a lot of hobbies to work on and one of them was painting. He spent most of his time working on his paintings after all, being immortal is a pain for him. A mere years can’t compare to the amount of time he had left, so he spent them in what humans would do. Drinking his favorite tea, listening to the storytellers in his city and doing multiple hobbies.
Painting was never a thing he could enjoy. It was all pain, despair and suffering. Multiple failed portraits in each canva, all of them had the same person in it. Which was you. Aside from your voice, he could remember your usual hairstyle that he loved the most, but that is all he could remember. All the portrait’s face were scribbled over, ruined and the others were ripped.
In despair, he slowly scratched the canva he’s currently working on. Same muse, but no face. The paint smudged, making the painting ruined. Tears fell on his face, lowering his head on defeat. He couldn’t even remember a small detail of your face, making him frustrated. He longed to rest, but he’s immortal. If only he could forget your whole existence to ease the pain as it’s worse to yearn for you yet can’t even remember your face, might as well forget you whole.
But a part of him wants to see your face once again, to appreciate every little detail once again. Despite hearing your sugary whispers, he had been slowly forgetting it, it is his biggest fear as it's the one of the only piece of you that he remembers. He wants to savour it more, to cherish it more but time had passed, he can't control it.
___
hello guys !! just felt like doing Zhongli angst :3 i hope u guys like it!! it still has many errors but i will try to improve!! ^^
its 12:40 am rn and i got performance tmrw at school xd but oh well, zhongli angst it is!!!
thank u for reading!!!!
#genshin angst#zhongli angst#zhongli x reader#genshin impact#genshin impact zhongli#genshin impact x reader
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epic!Calypso is NOT more innocent than odyssey!Calypso
TW: sexual assault / rape
Sometimes I see people say that epic!Calypso never laid her hands on Odysseus, and that it was only in the original story, which is not true. It's not stated directly, but the implications of sexual assault are still there.
"Soon into bed we'll climb and spend our time" When paired with both the source material and the other lines I'll mention, this line gains a sexual connotation. There are other reasons you could climb in bed with someone, but when you consider the context, it's most likely climbing into bed for sex.
(EDIT: I originally said "Nobody talks about climbing into bed with their 'lover' and isn't insinuating sex. Especially not in the middle of the day (naps exist, yeah, but we both know that's not what she was talking about)." This is not true, there are plenty of reasons you could climb into bed with a lover without having sex, which was brought to my attention in the reblogs. I was (kind of) exaggerating to prove my point, but I didn't clarify that I was exaggerating at all, so that's entirely my bad. I also didn't really consider the other connotations of that line, so sorry about this! I do still believe Calypso did want something sexual when she said that, but not everyone who asks to "climb into bed" with a s/o does.)
"I'm not your man / Hell no, I could kill you where you stand! I'm no pet, I'm a married man / No, no, I don't belong here! There's something wrong here! I won't be drawn to love in paradise. Not till the end of time, there is no way" Odysseus said no multiple times and she doesn't listen. She's still very affectionate and insists that he's the love of her life, which proves that Calypso doesn't care about his consent, she just cares that he's there.
"Oh, handsome, you may try, but last I checked goddesses can't die! You're adorable, bow down now to the immortal Calypso" She doesn't take his refusals seriously, she calls him cute for trying to say no. There's a clear power imbalance here, and because of that, Calypso views Ody's consent as beneath her or unnecessary. Calypso may love Odysseus, but she doesn't respect him in the slightest.
"Seven years she's kept you trapped out of your control, time can take a heavy toll" It's true that Odysseus is thinking about his dead friends when he attempts suicide, but Athena's line here implies a lot about Calypso. Everything she does with him is completely out of Ody's control; he has no power in this situation. I'm sure you can see the implications of that yourself, especially when it was so clearly rape in the source material.
"Someone arrived today. They said they're taking you away, that you're not mine to save" The way this is phrased makes it seem like Calypso did think Odysseus was hers to save, like she saw him as more of an object to love than a person. And that's all true: she sees him as beneath her, like I said above. I could be reaching on this one, but this line isn't alone, it's added on top of all the other ones. This line supports the other implications.
"Then I am sorry that my love's too much for you, but I'm not sorry for loving you" This is a common manipulation tactic, and Calypso may not be doing it consciously, but she's putting part of the blame on Odysseus. She only loved him, she's not in the wrong! It's Ody's fault for not being able to handle it! That's what she's insinuating when she says that, and I doubt it's on purpose, but she's still doing it.
She did rape Odysseus, and she knew what she was doing (she would have to, based on the amount of times he said no), she just didn't understand why it was wrong. Ody is the first person she's met... ever. She wouldn't know how valuable a mortal's consent is. I'm not defending her btw, she's absolutely in the wrong, I just like to analyze Calypso's actions. She's fun to analyze. Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is... stop saying epic!Calypso didn't touch Ody!! She did!! You can like her without defending her actions!!
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Yes Mistress (fem Human x Fem Vampire)
You walked down the streets of London, your dress slightly torn, exposing one of your legs and your shoulder.
Most people ignored you, some offered their assistance, while some, those you were looking for, saw a vulnerable woman, easy pickings in their minds. That’s what you wanted them to think as you led them back to your home, back to her.
She had picked you up off the streets, offered you power and companionship in exchange for devotion.
The devotion you gave freely, she had shown you a new world, a new way of life.
Now you sought to please her, bringing her a worthy meal from the dregs of society, the worst sort of men.
You heard two following you as you grew closer to your home, turning into the alleyway. They laughed, excited for what they thought they were about to do while you smirked, knowing what was truly awaiting them.
You stopped as you grew close to the door, putting on an innocent facade as you turned towards your would be attackers “Why..Why are you following me?” You asked, your tone filled with anxiety as you shook, playing the scared maiden.
They laughed cruelly at each other “Come now, you're practically asking for it?” The larger one said, sneering as he looked you up and down.
“No proper lady would be in such a state” The other said mockingly, thier words sending a chill down your spine. You were happy these men would be off the streets soon.
You shakily backed away before you ran into the townhouse, grinning when they followed behind you, chasing you through the house until you reached the parlor where she was waiting by the fire.
“Mistress, I brought a worthy meal” You said softly, grinning towards the now wide eyed men, though they didn’t look worried yet.
They both felt assured of themselves, what could two women do to them? In their minds this evening had just gotten better, that was until the door shut loudly behind them as if the wind had slammed it shut.
The candles and oil lamps flickered, the very fire keeping the room warm seemed to die down, casting the room in shadows.
“What the fuck is happening?!” “What did you do, you cunt?”
You just grinned, hearing their fear brought nothing but satisfaction, men always thought they were the predator until it was too late.
You couldn’t help it when you said “You were asking for it” before you heard their screams, relishing in them as your mistress drank her fill.
Once she was finished the candles lit back to their normal flame, light returning to the room revealing two dead bodies lying on the ground at your mistress’s feet.
She stepped towards you gracefully, her beauty pulling you in like a moth to a flame as she smiled at you, a pleased glint in her eyes. She affectionately stroked your cheek, fixing a lock of your hair that had gone out of place retrieving the two men now dead.
“You did good, love. Quite a good catch tonight, I am very pleased with you” she said softly, her words making you stand taller. You were so proud to have pleased her.
“I am glad to have pleased you mistress. They were detestable men, they should be glad to have met such an honorable end to have helped sustain you.” You said, watching with glee as she crinkled her eyes, a look of genuine fondness in her eyes.
“My, you always find a way to charm, love. When I gift you immortality, you must keep that quality” She said flirtatiously, taking her seat once again and motioning for you to sit beside her.
You found your place on the floor comfortably, lying your head against her knee as she read from a novel and you watched the flames.
That is how you stayed for an hour before your mistress hummed, catching your attention “I’ve grown peckish love” She said softly over the crackling of the fire.
Without hesitation you lifted your wrist, watching aptly as she began leaving light kisses along your arm before she sank her fangs into your skin.
You let out a moan at the feeling of her bite, heat emanating from your arm and filling your entire body. Your mind filled with a pleasant hum as you leaned back your head in pleasure, exposing your neck to her.
CONTINUED ON PATREON (FREE) - HERE
Full story - 1.3K Words
Vampire, Blood, Aphrodisiac, Fem x Fem
#monster kink#monster smut#monster x reader#smut#x reader#monsterfucker#vampire x you#vampire x reader#vampire x human#vampire smut#fem x fem#aphrodisiac
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