#@ToniandRyan

[saberamane]

Warning for language in this ficlet.

Desmond: You know how it's only champagne if it's from the French town of Champagne? And otherwise, it's sparkling wine?

Clay: Yeah?

Desmond: I wish more things were like that.

Clay: What do you mean?

Desmond: For example. Someone isn't a wanker unless they're from the French town of Wanqer. Otherwise, they're just a sparkling fuckwit.

Clay: *snorts a laugh*

*Federico and Ezio stop their conversation, looking over, interested.*

Desmond: He's not your fiancee unless he's from the French town of Fiance. Otherwise, he's just a sparkling future husband.

*Federico, Ezio, and Clay laugh*

Desmond: Or as I prefer to call it, a brosecco.

*Wheezing laughter*

Desmond: It's only as pussy if it's from the Poosay region of France, otherwise it's just a-

Clay cuts in, red in the face from laughter: Sparkling cunt!

All four break down in laughter, eyes watering, gasping in air.

Maria and Giovanni, off to the side: *Shakes heads in exasperation.

[not-a-salty-christmas-tree]

youtube.com/@ToniandRyan

[jlhynde-insanitybrilliance]

UDLTTOM DIALOGUE DRAFT #40

Ginny: I was married, we were together for eight years, had two little boys, but then there was the horrible accident…Umm, it was a really, really hard time in our lives. I was pregnant with our third child & my husband, Harry, he tripped and fell and his prick landed in Voldemort’s arse—And he’s been stuck there ever since. Right, Harry?

Harry:…

*Ginny looking at Harry like*

Inspiration for this post btw:

[indigoire]

Australian moots, sorry for the tags on the Australian slang post, to make up for it here's a Toni and Ryan clip talking about Aussie slang for various tradesmen:

Genuinely "dunny diver" is the funniest slang I've ever heard and y'all deserve props for that one alone.

[levynite]

*pulls microphone close*

This post, is dedicated to, well, you know who you are. PLAY IT, DJ!

[theadmiralwho]

CLAP BACK! #toniandryan

[godlizzza]

hoffman is both the guy hiding the sex doll and the neighbour

[iheartbadguys]

This feeling is soooo good #toniandryan

[plantpirating]

The Feral and Domesticated sides if my brain having a discussion...

[jedihersh]

Yes yes bring the eyes of judgement Both of em are wrong Reposted from @ryan.jon Do you *insert* the soap like Toni?!?! Or nah? #toniandryan #shower https://www.instagram.com/p/CfRv44xgZbXto95_BacAjkPikebWC3tCCCGUyE0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[welpnotagain]

“you know how stuffs just places”