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janephillipsblog · 5 years ago

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Babette’s Gift

I recently closed my first semi-professional theatre experience with Fire Exit Theatre. It was quite a journey and a very rewarding and challenging one at that.

Back in August, I auditioned for “Babette’s Feast”, a play adaptation of the short story by Isak Dineson, conceived and developed by Abigail Killeen and written by Rose Courtney. It turned out to be a very unconventional audition as the venue was not open during my time slot. We auditioned in groups and my group ended up auditioning outside in a residential area. We worked on scenes from the script as well as doing group performance exercises for the director, Jeany Van Meltebeke, to see how we worked together as an ensemble.

Several days later I received an email from Artistic Director, Val Lieske, offering me a role in the ensemble, with the note that specific roles would be assigned at a later date. A couple of weeks later, another email was sent with assigned roles. I would be playing Babette as well as a little bit of ensemble work in the first part of the play before Babette makes her first entrance.

Photo Credit: Andrea Cross Photography. With Kyla Ferrier and Sarah Haggeman.

“Babette’s Feast” is set in a small Norwegian town called Berlevaag and centres around two sisters, the children of a dean to a religious sect. The two sisters, Martine and Philippa, despite their beauty, offers of marriage, and for Philippa, a chance to be an opera singer, remain in Berlevaag as spinsters throughout their life, carrying on the work of the dean after his death. In their autumn years, they take in Babette, a French refugee from the Paris Commune, as a housekeeper. Babette was once a celebrated chef at the Café Anglais in Paris and had fought as a communard, alongside her husband and son, both of whom were killed in the civil war. The story culminates in Babette’s gift to the sisters and the community – a fabulous feast of French cuisine.

We had about a three-month rehearsal period before we moved into the Engineered Air Theatre at Arts Commons, throughout which, Jeany gently pushed us to “tell good story,” paying attention to the details and working on the subtext of the script. Looking back it was incredible how much we gleaned from between the lines of what at first appeared to be a simple script and story. Rachel Peacock, as well as being a part of the cast, was the composer and musical director for the production and her compositions enhanced the show no end, with the music performed with a harp, violin, glockenspiel, our vocals and even toy wooden blocks!

I made some personal discoveries as a performer during the process. Jeany would often tell me to work on being neutral emotionally at certain parts in the play. Well, people have always been able to read me like a book and I am a terrible liar as it simply shows too much on my face. Poker player I am not! For acting there is so much to work on within to achieve what the audience will eventually see. Part of that skill is learning to live in the present, moment by moment. What human doesn’t wander emotionally into the past or future? In the many years of doing theatre, I have learnt that this mental wandering out of the present can trip a performer up in a performance.

During the rehearsal process, imposter syndrome also raised its ugly head on occasion. This was my first production out of the community theatre world where most other fellow cast mates have other careers and acting is a hobby and a different way to socialize for a lot of people. Not that there is anything wrong with that, it is a fantastic hobby and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to pursue it as a career and a person can still strive for excellence in a pastime. From the day of the first read-through, I discovered that I was among kindred spirits. I was with people working in some capacity within the industry and who wore many hats like myself, often with many projects on the go at the same time. I felt at home, however often my anxiety would whisper negative things in my ear that I didn’t belong.

The biggest challenge for me was the fact that Babette was French. Whilst it wasn’t a goal of the production for the performers to have impeccable accents, I did not want Babette to sound English. I also did not want her to have a stereotypical French accent. There were also a few lines in French within the script which presented another challenge. During high school in Ottawa, probably in Grade 11 or 12 (I have moved from the UK the summer before I started Grade 11), I was kicked out of Grade 10 French for struggling with the work in the class. My mother is still angry about it and I realize now that it was probably more to do with the teacher wanting to keep her class averages up than my learning ability. I was a shy and self-conscious teenager who hated speaking aloud in class and had always been very self-conscious about the way I spoke even in English, let alone a foreign language, as we had moved around a lot and I always had a different dialect. Those early days in high school in Ottawa usually meant I had to repeat sentences about three times to my friends before they understood what I was saying! The result was that I no longer had confidence in my ability to even learn to speak a second language. I seem to recall that in the UK, I had quite enjoyed French and German classes, but in Ottawa, everyone was so far ahead in French. The last French course I took was in first year of university as a degree requirement. My inability to speak Canada’s other official language was one of the reasons I ended up moving to Alberta.

There is a section in the script where the ensemble repeat some of the French words spoken by Babette. At the first readthrough during which I most likely pronounced the French lines incorrectly and with limited understanding of the meaning, having the words repeated caught me by surprise and in a moment of self-consciousness, I honestly thought some of the others were correcting my pronunciation! This was not the case! Though certainly down the road, Caleb and John, other cast members (Caleb was also the assistant director), helped me with the pronunciation. Google Translate also became a good friend! I talked about my hang-ups with speaking French with Caleb about two weeks before we moved into the theatre. He asked me when I was going to let them go. Right now, was my reply! I had already upped the ante for myself by inviting French-speaking friends to the show and at this point it was time to really put in some work. I would record myself speaking Babette’s lines to ensure they sounded like Babette and not me.

Photo Credit: Andrea Cross Photography

By the week of our final rehearsals, I felt that Babette had really arrived. I felt confident in my ability to portray her on stage. I was super-excited to be in a show at the Engineered Air Theatre. I had been in the venue once during the Festival of Animated Objects in March (I love the retro décor) and on the first day we were in the theatre, I remembered the intention I had set through a selfie on Facebook in May during the Bouffon workshop (held in the ATP rehearsal hall) that I hoped to again enter and exit the stage door of Arts Commons many, many times in the not too distant future. Well it came true! That is the power of manifestation, folks – I also manifested a free transit ticket that day.

Opening night was on a Wednesday. Fire Exit has a tradition for everyone to wear red shoes on opening night (started by Val and her red boots). I found a really nice pair that day in the WINS thrift store and they went really well with my green Christmas leggings. We had a talk back after the performance, my first ever. There were a couple of complimentary comments about how humble Babette was. In the lobby after, a lady asked if I was French! All our performances went really well, despite sickness making its way around the cast (par for the course for a December show – I was lucky as I had been sick a few weeks prior). Once we had an audience, we discovered that what had seemed like a serious play for the most part, was actually quite whimsical and fun throughout. Our audiences were great, very loving and kind. My French-speaking friends told me that they understood every word and joked how they were going to converse with me in French now.

Photo Credit: Andrea Cross Photography. From left to right: John Moerschbacher, Kyla Ferrier, Daniel Kim, Caleb Gordon, me, Sarah Haggeman, Rachel Peacock, Kendra Hutchinson and Ainsley Daumler.

“Babette’s Feast” was over too soon after a run of only seven performances. It will be an experience that I will forever treasure and remember. Thank you to all involved for sharing this incredible journey with me!

#actorslife #theatre #babettesfeast #fireexittheatre

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krreader · 6 years ago

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like a butterfly | chapter 11

pairing: min yoongi x reader fandom: bts warnings: non idol!au ; single dad!yoongi ; language genre: fluff ; angst ; smut previous: 1 ; 2 ; 3 ; 4 ; 5 ; 6 ; 7 ; 8 ; 9 ; 10

summary: you never planned on becoming the babysitter of min yoongi’s daughter, one of the richest and most famous producers of south korea. you also didn’t plan on becoming so attached to the little girl, as well as her father. (Or: hot, successful and single dad hires broke babysitter.)

a/n: a bit earlier than usual, but I was super inspired to continue today!!! hope you’ll all forgive me (:

ask box | masterlist | fandoms | faq | multifandom reader blog

It would have been one simple question. Just one question to confirm whether or not Mei's mother was even still around: ‘Did she die?’.

Sure, it probably would have been direct and it may have hit a nerve if she had in fact been dead, but clearly, she wasn't. Because she was currently sitting in the living room in her expensive dress and heels that you never could afford, if Yoongi didn't buy them for you. She looked exactly like Mei, you know, the girl that you had become a mother figure to, only to find out that her real mother apparently wanted to get back into her life.

Your head hung low as you waited for the coffee to brew. You had taken it as an excuse to take a couple of deep breaths and to calm down.

Why did this upset you so much? It shouldn't right? Shouldn't you be happy for Mei, who would surely be over the moon once she found out her mother had returned? Shouldn't you be happy for Yoongi, who had clearly missed this woman in his life?

You should.

But you weren't.

Because you knew that if they accepted her back into their lives, you wouldn't matter anymore.

You could tell how Yoongi was still attached to her. Every time the topic had come up in the past, he became distant all of a sudden, like he was thinking about her and missing her instantly. He was probably still in love with her, she was the mother of his kid and his first love, after all. You wouldn’t blame him if he did. But you had thought you were competing with a ghost, a memory, someone that wouldn’t come back, when the woman was actually quite alive.

And then what about Mei? You were only her nanny, but you seemed to have completely forgotten about that. You were a substitute for the real thing. And that suddenly clicked.

The beeping of the coffee machine ripped you out of your thoughts and you quickly poured the coffee into two cups, before returning into the living room and handing her one.

“Thank you so much, my dear,” she smiled kindly. Despite of her behavior, every part of your body wanted to punch her. And why was she calling you ‘my dear’? Sure, she was older than you, but not by that much, right?

“Yoongi never really talked about you,” you began, “To be quite honest, I had thought you had died.”

Was that too forward? Maybe. Did you care? No.

She didn't seem to mind anyways, just put down the cup on the coffee table and turned her beautiful and toned body (you really needed to stop, you were already beginning to compare yourself to her) to face you.

“We didn't exactly part on good terms. I can understand why he never talked about me.. I probably wouldn't have either.”

“So you just left him and your baby behind?”

She licked her lips and you could see she was struggling not to retort anything rude, but still kept that smile on her face. But you could tell that she was beginning to fake it, “It was all very unfortunate. I never meant to leave Mei..”

‘ Liar’, you thought

“And what exactly is it that you want from him? You see, him and I were planning on going to this award show tonight and..-”

“The award show. Best producer, right?” she let out a breath, beginning to grin again, but this time, it was genuine, “He really did it. See, when him and I were still in college, he was working so hard to become a producer. He put in so many hours and he always told me that he would make it someday.. seems like he finally did.”

“How fortunate of you to show up exactly when Yoongi is to receive such an award, isn't it?” you matched her own sweet, but fake smile.

Listen, women were manipulative as fuck and while men might fall for this act, you didn't. This woman right here was shady and you were sure there was something bigger going on. You couldn’t tell what it was, not yet anyways, but you’d find out.

But just when she wanted to answer, the front door got opened.

And the second you heard his voice, so cheerful and excited, you wanted to throw up.

There goes your relationship with a man you actually thought you had a future with. You know.. the one.

“Sorry it took so long. Mei kept asking me so many questions about tonight, I couldn't..-”

Minseo immediately stood up, her hands folded in front of her body and a soft smile on her face, while Yoongi just froze and stared at her in disbelief. And you, the third wheel that you were, didn't even get up. You also didn't look up. You didn't want to see this.

“Minsie..,” he whispered and you wanted to throw up at the nickname.

How come you didn’t get a nickname?

“Hi,” she said happily, even though her voice was just as weak as his.

“Wh..- I don't..- What are you doing here?”

He didn't even sound upset. He sounded surprised and maybe even a bit happy that she was standing in front of him. But you wanted him to be upset. You wanted him to throw her out, as selfish as that might have sounded. You wanted him to walk around her, pull you into his arms and introduce you as his girlfriend. But he didn’t do any of these things..

“It was all very short-term, to be honest. I was in the city and heard about the award show.. I wanted to congratulate you.. see how you were doing and.. you know.. how Mei was doing.”

There was this hint of emotion in her voice, but even that sounded fake. Not that Yoongi seemed to realize it. He was too shocked to properly form a rational thought.

“I mean.. she's good. Very good, actually,” his mouth was still agape and his blinking rapid.

“Really? Is she.. happy? Healthy?”

“Yes,” he slowly began smiling at the thought of his daughter.

“I'm so glad to hear that,” she actually dared to walk closer to him and hug him. Right in front of your eyes. Like sure, she didn't know you and him were a thing, but he did. And he still hugged her back, right in front of you, “I'm so sorry, Yoongi. About everything.”

Deep down, he knew he should be furious with her. But she had been the first woman he ever fell in love with. His big love, as others had often said. She was the mother of his daughter and he had missed her so much. It had broken him when she disappeared and the fact that this piece of him that he had left in the past was suddenly back. It was as if his arms just magically wrapped themself around her body, without him actually wanting to do it.

“Am I invisible?” you got up and crossed your arms in front of your chest, pushing out your lower lip, “Do you want me to leave? Maybe get you guys some condoms first?”

Yoongi was so busy with Minseo, that he completely forgot about you and quickly, but carefully pushed her away.

“Excuse me?” she asked in a high-pitched voice that only made her more annoying. God, and you thought Sarah was bad. Sarah was nothing compared to this one.

“Listen, lady. I don't know what your game is, but..-”

“My game?” she laughed, “I don't have 'a game'. I wanted to see my ex-fiance and my daughter again.”

“Oh, is it ex-fiance now, huh?” you raised your eyebrows and looked at Yoongi. But he was too busy with staring at his shoes, “Not only do you keep it a secret that she's alive, but you also don't tell me that you've been engaged before?”

“Why would he tell you? You're my child's nanny.”

My child. My child. God, she has the audacity to call Mei her child, even though she hadn't been in her life.. ever?

“Yes, Yoongi. Why would you tell me, your daughter's nanny, any of that?” you asked with a challenging glint in your eyes.

He made his way over to the other end of the room where you were standing and dropped his voice, so that only you could hear it, “Can we not do this right now, please?”

“Fine,” you grabbed your bag and nodded, “I'll just leave then. You don’t seem to need me right now.”

“Wait, but what about the award show?”

“Go with her. After all,” you said, when you stopped right next to her, “That's why you're here, isn't it?”

She didn’t even blink. God, this woman was good at what she was doing.

Let's sum this up.

Mei's mother, a woman called Minseo that Yoongi had met during college. She was his first and big love and they accidentally had a child. During his college years, Yoongi tried his damned hardest to become a good producer, but as far as you knew, he only became famous two years ago, so that meant that when these two had Mei, he was a struggling guy in his twenties, who probably had just enough money to feed his daughter.

And the first thing, the absolute first thing, you noticed when looking at Minseo? She wore designer clothes that any other human being couldn't afford. She looked like she regularly went to beauty appointments, her nails and teeth were on point. In general, she just looked like she was made out of money. Now what would a woman like that want with a guy like Yoongi, when he couldn't give her the rich lifestyle that she desired? The one that he promised her in his twenties, but seemingly didn’t deliver?

Maybe she had thought that Yoongi would become a big fish in the music industry much sooner, but when she realized that it might never work out, she left. Maybe she accidentally had a daughter that she never wanted and was then left with a little girl and a boyfriend (or ex-fiance, if you want) who couldn't give her what she wanted.

Solution?

Leave both behind and look for the next best guy.

Kim Minseo was a fucking gold digger.

And you were so sure of that.

Jimin had been the first person you thought of when you wandered the streets of Seoul. You hadn't seen him in a while anyways and knew that you could always talk to him about everything and anything. The one you could always fall back on if things got too bad.

So hence, an hour later, you were ringing his doorbell in the hopes that he was home.

“(Y/N),” it wasn't Jimin's smile that greeted you, but that of his roommate, Hoseok, “I thought you had an award show to go to?”

“Yeah. Me too,” you sighed, a sad smile on your face, “Is Jimin home?”

“Yeah, yeah! Come in,” he could see that there was something on your mind, something, that you needed to talk about with your best friend, so as soon as the door was closed, he ran into Jimin's bedroom and grabbed him for you, before hiding in his own to give you two some alone time.

You took off your shoes in the meantime and plopped down on the couch in the living room. That same couch that you used to sleep on for so many nights when you had desperately been searching for a new apartment.

It didn't take more than five seconds before he stood in front of you, only wearing a black t-shirt and some gray sweatpants. Maybe you should have settled for Jimin.. at least his life didn’t seem to be as complicated as that of Yoongi.

“What are you doing here?”

“What.. can't I come visit my best friend?”

“Stop playing dumb with me, young lady,” he sat down next to you, his forehead creased with worry, “What happened?”

“Oh you know.. just the usual. His ex-fiance and the mother of his kid that I thought was dead showed up and decided now was the best time to enter his life again,” you shrugged, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

“What?! Is this a joke? Because it’s not very funny, if it is.”

“Nope,” you decided that laughing would be better. Because how much more of a fucking joke can your life become? Just when you and him were beginning to develop a romantic relationship, this had to happen, “Pretty sure she's just back because of his money, but I doubt he's going to see it that way. The way he always looks when he thinks about her.. he's going to take her back in an instant.”

“What? No, he won't! He's with you, (Y/N).”

“But I'm not her, Jimin. He'll replace me the second she tells him to. It’s always the same bullshit.. your first love is always going to be your only love.”

“Why would you say stuff like that?” he gently hit your arm, “You're the most beautiful, amazing and kindest person I've ever met in my life! He surely has to see that too, especially because of the way you treat him and Mei! And so what if she was the first one he fell in love with? That doesn’t matter when she left and you didn’t. That’s what matters.”

“It was hard enough to compete with a dead person. But she's out of my league.. there's nothing I can do anymore, except for sit back and wait for him to tell me to get out.”

“I'm sure you're just overreacting! Maybe he's currently throwing her out of the apartment! Maybe he has already called you! Check your phone!”

But that was the exact moment that Hoseok walked into the living room with a frown on his face.

“Uhh, (Y/N)?”

“Yeah,” you let out a tired sigh, looking up at him.

“Question. Since you're not with Yoongi tonight,” he turned on the TV and pointed at the screen, “Then who's that woman he’s with?”

And there it was.

The second your heart slowly began to break into a million pieces. While you were sitting here, wallowing over him, he had grabbed her and went to that stupid award show with her, holding her in his arms and smiling brightly at the cameras. He was holding her like he should have been holding you. He was smiling at her like he should have been smiling at her. And the worst thing of it all? She was so much better at this whole ordeal than you ever could have been. She was the definition of a celebritiy, even though she wasn’t one. She gave the cameras what they wanted.. if you had gone with him, it would have been ten times more awkward..

The fact that Yoongi probably wasn’t even thinking about you.. that he hadn’t even cared enough to tell you he’d take her.

And what would Mei be thinking? You knew that she was going to watch the show tonight. Fuck, she had been so excited to see you and Yoongi on the red carpet..

And from the way Ciri and Taehyung had seemed to know about Minseo and Yoongi, you weren't sure if they could keep the identity of the woman a secret. Maybe they were telling Mei about her mother right now.. maybe it was in that exact moment that she was beginning to get excited because her mother had finally returned. And maybe she was already beginning to push you into the depths of her memories, where she wouldn’t remember or care abotu you anymore.

Unfortunately for you, you didn’t know how it actually went.

“Who's that? Where's (Y/N)?” Mei pouted and turned around to look at Tae and Ciri, who both stared at the screen in disbelief. Mei was confused, because even though she was young and didn’t understand half of what the adults around her were saying, she knew that something was up. When they didn't answer her, she turned back around to the screen and eyed the woman for a couple of seconds, before saying in a deep and angry voice, “Daddy is in so much trouble when I get home. (Y/N) is way prettier than that one.”

#bts imagine #bts x reader #min yoongi x reader #suga x reader #min yoongi imagine #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #suga imagine #bangtan boys #bts #bangtan sonyeondan #min yoongi #suga #yoongi #reader #mine

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bibliophilicwitch · 6 years ago

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I Should Have Read That (Tag)

Rules:

Thank the person who tagged you and link back to their post

Link to the creator’s blog (booksnest.co.uk) in your post

Answer the questions below

Tag 10 others to take part

ENJOY THE TAG!

I was tagged by @shadowtearling

A book that a certain friend is always telling you to read: Catch-22 by J.D. Salinger. Due to my love of M*A*S*H, he thinks I would really appreciate Catch-22. I’ve owned it for years now and last summer I started it and didn’t care for the main character whose POV the story is told from. I will likely give it one more chance to see if I warm up to it.

A book that’s been on your TBR forever and yet you still haven’t picked it up: I’ll give you three: The Once and Future King by T.H. White, The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker, and Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan. I have no excuses for Mr. Penumbra as it was even a book club selection once or twice and I own a copy, but the other two I do not own and has just stayed lower in priorities to read due to that fact. (Wait, I think I own an ebook of The Golem and the Jinni...) There are more than this added to my GoodReads tbr around the same time, but those books I have since grown out of my interest to read. I’ve also gone through my physical books enough times that I do not have too many books that have been sitting that long.

A book in a series you’ve started, but haven’t finished yet: Hm, that’s awfully specific. I’d say either The Turn by Kim Harrison which is an addition to the world of the Hollows but with different characters or Rise of Empire by Michael J. Sullivan which sat in my currently reading for well over a year before I decided I should maybe stop fooling myself.

A classic you’ve always liked the sound of, but never actually read: Well, I have to mention Catch-22 by J.D. Salinger again, I suppose, but I will add Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle since I’ve only read a couple.

A popular book that it seems everyone but you has read: The Shadowhunters series by Cassandra Claire which I just can’t get into though I love Magnus Bane and do appreciate Claire’s worldbuilding and the additions to Sarah J. Maas’s Court of Thorns and Roses series which I have decided to stop following after the end of the original trilogy.

A book that inspired a film/TV adaptation that you really love, but you just haven’t read it yet: I straight up had to Google book to film adaptations for this question because most of the time I’ve already read the book or I make a point of reading the book first, so it’s hard to think of a movie or show based on a book/series that I haven’t yet. The best I’ve got for you is The Sheep-Pig by Dick King-Smith since I had no idea Babe was based on a book!

A book you see all over social media but haven’t picked up yet: The Wicked King by Holly Black. Listen, I adored Tithe and the other Modern Faerie Tales by her back when I was an edgy goth teen, but I haven’t been excited to read fey books in years and I just haven’t been bothered no matter how excited everyone is. But I’m probably going to give up and read it because hell, I loved her writing and will still love her writing now.

I tag: you! Tag me back so I can read your answers!

#text #personal #reading related #tag games

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hyunjins-bebe-blog · 6 years ago

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Primadonna Girl - K.W.J. AU

You were a model reaching the peak of your career, when your darling daddy just announced that you’re getting married to Kim Woojin, the heir of his best friend’s company.

Genre: Businessman!AU/Fluff/Some light Angst

Pairing: Woojin x Female Reader

Warning: Mentions of Death

A/N: heyo mayo!! i hope y’all enjoy this little thing i’ve been wanting to do, please support! luv y’all mwa

Word Count: 1,624

Chapter 1/10

The sun was shining brightly, its rays seeping into the window of your penthouse. You were lounging in your living room while flipping through this week’s magazine. Face mask on, you sip your strawberry milkshake, waiting for your alarm to get ready.

You were one of the country’s top models, having been born with unique features that just made photographers and companies alike craving for your attention, and you were about to hit your big break. You were already getting e-mails from small foreign agencies, but being the stubborn person you were, you refused to reply to them, waiting for your target company-a France-based agency- to contact you.

A piercing ring broke through the silent room. You rolled your eyes, it was clear that it wasn’t your alarm, so who could be calling you at this moment?

It was your dad. With a scoff, you answered the phone.

“Yeah?”

“Darlin’! How are you, it’s been so long since we last called!”

“Cut to the chase daddy, I’m busy right now,” you speak into the phone, glancing at your manicure, I should really get them done again.

You could hear your father’s chuckle through the phone. “As expected of my daughter. Alright, drop by my office today, I’ve got some important news to tell you.”

“Oh!” your voice was slick with sarcasm, “What could be more important than last week’s announcement of a new lady friend?”

Thankfully, your father didn’t seem to notice it. “This particular announcement is not for me, but for you! So drop by as soon as you can!”

“Sure daddy, but I can only be there later this afternoon; I still have a shoot scheduled at one.”

“See you later darlin’!”

You hung up and sighed. You couldn’t blame your dad, you knew he was doing all these for you, but ever since your mom died, you could feel him slowly slip away, drowning and himself in work, spending almost every day in his office. So what did that leave you with? Countless nannies. But your six-year old self wasn’t having any of it. Soon enough, you were known to be the devil’s child in almost every babysitting center in the entire city. So your dad had to leave you in the care of your neighbour. Unfortunately, she too passed away when you were fifteen. By that age, your father deemed you as independent enough to live alone, and just last year, he gifted you this penthouse as a sign of entering the ‘adult world’.

If you were any other normal twenty year old, you would feel happy and thankful. I mean you were thankful, but not happy. It was just another big empty place for you to be alone. So you began busying yourself. Now at age twenty-one, your modelling career has sky-rocketed. From department store brands at age twelve, you were now the face of your country’s biggest jewelry brand. You were also modelling for various cosmetic companies, as well as popular clothing branches.

Life was smooth sailing. Though the people you worked with proved otherwise.

You had just finished reading this week’s magazine when you received a call from your seventh assistant this month.

“I’m so sorry ma’am, but I forgot to tell you that today’s shoot was scheduled thirty minutes earlier, which means-“

“That it’s starting in ten minutes, you dimwit! Call Mr. Roberts and tell him to be downstairs in three!”

“Yes ma’am, oh my gosh I’m so-“

You didn’t give her time to finish her apology, ripping off your mask and putting on a dress, slipping on some nude heels and running for your life towards the elevator, one of the let downs of living at the top of a thirty-five floored complex. You ran through the lobby and into the open door of your car, telling your father’s driver to step on it.

...

Arriving at the shoot, your assistant began bombarding you with apologies, but you just shrugged her off with a raise of a brow and headed towards your make-up chair, greeting your make-up artist, Mark. He’s been there for you ever since you were fifteen, being your lifesaver when you went through puberty and got countless break-outs overnight.

“Glad you could make it, did you put on a mask?” He asked, grabbing your chin gently and tilting your head side to side, inspecting your skin.

“Yeah,” you breathed out, settling into the chair, kicking off your shoes and letting then drop with a clatter.

Mark began coating a brush with powder, “Good, we’ll just bronze you a bit and make your brows thicker. Now how did you manage to be this late?” He asked, starting to beat your face.

You rolled your eyes, “My ex-assistant let the fact that the shoot has been re-scheduled just slip away from her mind and informed me ten minutes before.”

He laughed, completely knowing that the ‘ex-assistant’ you were talking about was your current one. He learned to not feel bad about them years ago, especially the ones who think they can be the ones deciding what you would be doing.

He applied some concealer to your nose area and chin, where you were having little bumps, brushed through your brows with a clear gel and applied a little mascara to your lashes, both of you thankful that you just got them lifted the other day.

People rushed you over to where the photographer was waiting, and you apologized for the little delay you caused. They waved it off and you began posing, showing off the diamonds someone had put on you.

After a long while, the shoot was finished. It wasn’t your average earrings and necklace set either. You were modelling a whole new line, with over a dozen sets of jewelry. So to say you were exhausted was an understatement.

Rubbing your neck, you headed over to where Mark was. You sat on your chair and allowed him to take some added make up off of your face, and doing your usual ‘natural’ look.

At the corner of your eye, you saw your assistant cowering over to you, with a cup of coffee in her hands. Grace? (you weren’t sure what her name was, as you let your dad pick her out this time) handed you the coffee, muttering a ‘thanks,’ before sipping on it, almost drenching Mark in the liquid if he wasn’t picking out a blush.

“What is this?” You screeched, almost everyone in the set looking over to you.

“Oh um, I got you cof-“ Grace stammered, but again, you didn’t let her finish.

“Well Grace, sorry to burst your bubble, but this isn’t a latte, it’s a freaking espresso. Did you even pay attention when you were reading the pamphlet I gave you? I only consume small amounts of caffeine, and you give me a tall glass of it? Are you begging to be fired?” you hissed at her, wiping off the stains on your dress.

You were probably overreacting, but the built up frustration and the exhaustion just made you snap. You shove the cup back to her, putting back your shoes and grabbing your purse. You stormed your way out of the set, not hearing the words your make-up artist said to the girl.

“I’m so sorry Sarah, but you just lost your job,” Mark said as he gave her a tissue, as the girl teared up, putting back the blush he couldn’t put on your cheeks into his kit, praying you had one in your bag.

...

You enter the nearest coffee shop, thankfully just across the street, and placed an order. Sitting down by the window, you let yourself calm down and open up your phone to text your dad’s secretary to send in some resumes of the other people who applied to be your assistant.

As you were looking through this guy named Daniel’s work ethics, you heard your name being called out with someone named Eugene? You had bad hearing, so you weren’t sure.

As you grabbed your drink, you got annoyed that it was espresso again, and complained to the barista.

“Oh, I’m sorry ma’am, but it seems like you got your drink switched with the other man, I can make you another one, if you’d like?” You looked over the boy, seeing as he was just a teenager, he didn’t deserve you screaming at him. You were sure he’s stressed out enough.

“Oh don’t worry about it, I’ll just catch him myself. Thank you, uh,” You looked at him and he smiled, showcasing his braces.

“Jeongin.”

“Right, thanks kiddo.” You said, leaving a tip and rushing outside, barely catching the man.

“Hey! Stop!” you yelled, catching his attention just as he was about to enter his car. He looked at you with a brow raised, and it made you raise your own. Well I’m not losing to you.

You approached him, heels clicking on the sidewalk. You held his coffee to him and pursed your lips. “You got my latte.”

He looked at the cup in his hands and seemed to realise this, looking up and smiling at you, giving your coffee and taking the espresso from your hands. Noticing the lipstick mark, he looked at you again.

“Sorry for the inconvenience, but looks like you took a sip of mine, while I merely touched yours.” ‘Eugene’ said, inspecting his cup some more and smiling at you.

Of course you took it the wrong way. “Well I’m sorry, but if next time you’re in such a rush, check the coffee you’re getting first, eh? To avoid these inconveniences.” You rolled your eyes and turn away, stalking towards where your chauffeur was waiting to take you to your dad’s company.

Chapter 2/10

Masterlist

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zenruption · 3 years ago

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Seattle’s Smokey Brights: The Only Band in the Building

by: The World’s Luckiest Music Lover, Brian Mckay

Over the Treefort weekend, I had the pleasure to meet and watch the Smokey Brights on more than one occasion. This is a band that is more than just a simple concert review. They are worthy of their story and what lies ahead being known. That story that is represented in their songs and stage presence. It is a band I intend to follow and anxiously await their upcoming album. Judging from the crowd’s response, I am not alone in this assessment.

Fronted by Ryan Devlin (guitar and vocals) and Kim West (keys and vocals) and accompanied by Nick Krivchenia (drums) and Luke Logan (bass). The band’s story is compelling. As a couple, Ryan and Kim bring their synergy and strong love to the stage in both their harmonies and stage interaction.

The band was officially born out of necessity, due to some very underfunded bank accounts, insufficient for gift giving, going into the Christmas season as a couple. The incredibly talented Nick, came along via Ohio from a family of musicians. Grooving away Luke, is via Alaska with a background of singing folk songs with his family and is a great third for an always perfect harmony.

You can see a slight punk, influence pulled into a signature Seattle sound with, what can only be described, as their own genre. While comfortably in the alt rock category, it’s obvious that Smokey Brights will take whatever they feel or find interesting and make something new and totally their own out of it.

Again, it is the experiences that shape this band and probably my best candidate to interlace a review, pictures, video, and an interview all mixed together. Considering their amazing mixture, I hope they like it.

Interview conducted Saturday, September 25th at Neurolux

So el Korah tonight is so retro cool that it’s awesome. The sound is really good and the time you play is kind of after main stage…

Kim: Dude, I’m stoked.

Ryan: I feel really honored we got moved to that slot. Eric (a Treefort founder) was out at the Neurolux show about a month ago and we were going to play Humpin’ Hannah’s at 10 and that ended up not working out as a venue for Treefort so they bumped us over to el Korah, which is a bigger room, great slot and I am just swelling with gratitude that he trusts us enough to put us in that spot.

Indeed, el Korah ended up being the perfect spot for Smokey Brights to play. Having had the honor of playing the first concert at the Record Exchange in 18 months on Thursday, a 9.30 pm slot at el Korah on a Saturday turned out to be an absolute perfect fit.

For a Treefort with smaller crowds due to COVID, the room was the busiest I had seen it during Treefort. The first thing you notice of Smokey Brights is an energetic, open crowd that immediately jumps in with both feet. Check it out:

So, I’ve always gotta ask, what do you think of Boise?

Kim: We love Boise. Big fans. Big Fans!

Nick: Boise loves us back.

Ryan: Boise is a live music town with venues and great people and a great history of bands and we can drive to it from Seattle, which makes it Valhalla for a West Coast musician. It’s amazing.

Boise showed Smokey Brights its love at both the el Korah and Hideout stage performances. Dancing was common, as was extensive cheering. The one time that I heard the crowd just singing along with the band at Treefort was the Hideout crowd singing to the I Love You but Damn chorus as the band closed out the set. Our photographer, Greg, said, “I don’t really know the song but feel compelled to sing along.”

Smokey Brights brought their amazing energy and Boise responded, “We love it!”

On your song, I Love You but Damn, I think, wasn’t it that song you mention Reno and then it also looks like you’re going to Reno soon..

Ryan: In less than a week we’ll be in Reno.

So, can I assume you kind of like Reno too?

Ryan and Kim: We do like Reno. (with laughs from Nick and Luke)

Ryan: Reno is like scrappy. I grew up in Seattle and Tacoma and like my friend that grew up in Tacoma with me, he’s always like, “Reno is just Tacoma with gambling.” And that is what it feels like to me. There’s kind of a blue collarness to it. Kind of a punk rock fuck it attitude, but it’s also like their working hard to make it cooland kind of a good hang place.

Kim: It’s like the dirtier, more scrappy version of Vegas.

Ryan: I want to hang out in Brooklyn, not Manhattan or Oakland and not San Francisco and I want to hang out in…

Kim and Ryan in unison: Reno and not Vegas.

This is a great way to define Smokey Brights. Everyone’s band with an affinity for all the punks that have come and gone. Ryan’s punk past is alive in every show and strongly influences his amazing talents on the guitar.

If you are in Reno for the Offbeat Music Festival on Friday, October 1st, check them out at 7pm. Having once lived in Reno, they fit the place so well and will light it up. After watching much of the Freakout Records lineup on Sunday, I’m thinking that watching Smokey Brights and the rest of the bands on November 11 in Seattle could be amazing.

So, what have you guys mostly been up to during COVID?

Ryan: Writing.

Luke: Staying busy. Writing, Rehearsing. You couldn’t get in front of crowds but we could be with each other so we kept working looking forward to the time we could put on a good show.

You’ll notice that most of the bands here have albums coming out. In fact, a couple came out this weekend. A lot of people, like, they wrote a lot during the pandemic but their whole tone was impacted by it. Esme Patterson last night, who is amazing, really had some songs that reflected a lot of loneliness and were written during the pandemic. How do you guys think it impacted your writing for the next album?

Kim: It definitely impacted our writing.

Ryan: For this record, which is not out yet… and I tease it too much because it could be another year but like, even when we’re not writing about the sensation of going through this diminished life, I feel like that tonality pokes through. We’ve got a song, it might be called, I’m Not Through this Yet. Kim sings it and like the first lines are “I’m not through this yet, can I learn to love this mess, can I reassemble myself from the parts that I have left”. And like, every time Kim sings that, that feels like the state that a lot of us are in right now.

I really love the song 72. That is spectacular.

Kim: Thank you.

I also love, I Love You but Damn, was amazing and what was it, Save Us Sarah was spectacular.

Ryan: Right on! There’s three songs you can get into.

So, Unity…

Kim: That’s coming out in October.

So, tell me about that one.

Kim: So, Unity and Honey Eye are two songs we recorded. They are coming out October 29th. And they are two songs we recorded during I Love You but Damn, and they didn’t quite fit on that record but they fit really well together and so we just sort of held on to them and decided to release them this fall, which feels like a really good moment for them. They are really about kind of just working together and giving a shit. You Know. And the chorus of Honey Eye is “I wanna rock the world with you, before it splits in two, don’t know what else to do”. That’s kind of a thesis statement for, I feel like, doing anything right now intentionally. Who knows what the hell the future holds because as we have all seen with the traumatic events we have lived through the last 20 years, nothing’s guaranteed. It’s been insane, all you can do is do as good as you can and be as intentional as you can and be as kind as you can and give a shit while there’s still shits to give.

Smokey Brights are the embodiment of a band that gives a shit. You can sense the caring for each other and the cohesion of the group as a whole. Most importantly, they give a shit about their crowds and no show will ever be neglected, no crowd will ever leave less than completely fulfilled.

I Love You but Damn, was obviously kind of your tour song.

Everyone: yeah, yeah

Like, did you guys all kind of write that together?

Ryan: I mean, Kim and I co-write lyrically everything to the point where when we get done with a record, it’d be very difficult to use a highlighter pen and say who did this one.

Kim: And the songs are definitely like, it’s the unit that makes the song a song and the arrangements and…

Nick: Production wise, we came into the studio not knowing what were going to play really besides the chordal structure.

Ryan: Well, we knew the cords and the melody.

Nick: Andy the producer kind of like plugged in a drum beat and said, “Okay, play to this”.

So, was that right after tour because it kind of reflects that weariness and loneliness?

Ryan: I mean, that one is specifically, that one’s kind of coming from my point of view. It’s talking about the first couple months when Kim and I started dating. How many years ago? 13?

Kim: Yep

Ryan: 13 years ago. And I was touring in punk bands and I was on tour in a van 3 out of the first 6 months we were dating. You know. We would be on again, off again. I’d come back into town and things would be good and then go back on tour and we’d break up and it was just like, we are touring in an old junky Dodge van that would break down too. And just like coming to some realizations that I might be in love with this person I might need to treat myself better. I might need to think of my life in a different way.

That’s a big chunk of romantic love is recognizing that someone cares about you. You should probably keep yourself in okay condition too.

I Love You but Damn closed out the Hideout set for Smokey Brights and closed out their Treefort. Watch the fans and you’ll see why they need to become a Treefort staple and Boise regulars.

So you’ve been together since about ’13?

Kim: So we started… I guess the vague conception of Smokey Brights began about 2011, which was when we recorded a demo in our original bassist’s mom’s house in Olympia. We put out our first recorded a couple years later in 2014. I would say it was kind of 2016 when Luke joined the band and we just got really intentional that this is what we want to do. This is what we want to be when we grow up. And we want to tour and we want to play live and we made our minds up for that to happen.

I really feel like, you know, Smokey Brights has been a band in the sense we are now since 2016.

Okay last question. Do you think that Seattle needs to bring back the Sonics?

Everyone: Yes!

Ryan: Bring our Sonics back!

About the title: So why are Smokey Brights the only band in the building? Watch the crowd. When they are playing, that crowd might even think they are the only band in the world.

I loved meeting them, look forward to more shows, and couldn’t recommend catching this band more.

Look out for their two new songs, Unity and Honey Eye, on October 29th and a new album, umm well, sometime.

Thank you Smokey Brights for helping make Treefort the best festival anywhere.

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lumalaya · 6 years ago

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summer films ‘18

hi there! to clarify, this is a log of films i’ve seen this summer, not exactly films set in the summer, so if you’re here for that, i’m sorry?

anyway, here we go!

1. kasal (2018) / dir. ruel s. bayani ♡ 180525 ♡ girl is engaged to the son of cebu’s current mayor who is currently preparing for elections, but her ex comes back and tries to win her back ♡ cliche, i know, but trust me, this movie deals with this plotline in a very interesting way ♡ and come on, it’s bea alonzo and paulo avelino, two icons 2. high school musical (2006) / dir. kenny ortega ♡ 180614 ♡ iconic, i love troy bolton, thanks for reminding me ♡ i know sharpay isn’t that bad but she’s still a bully lol ♡ the choreography for when there was me and you got me dying i love it ♡ fave song: stick to the status quo 3. high school musical 2 (2007) / dir. kenny ortega ♡ 180622 ♡ my least favorite in the trilogy ♡ there was so much unnecessary drama they should’ve cut troy some slack ♡ i hate chad danforth, that’s all ♡ fave song: you are the music in me 4. high school musical 3: senior year (2008) / dir. kenny ortega ♡ 180622 ♡ my favorite in the trilogy! ♡ i still hate chad tho lol but i love taylor so much she’s my favorite character! ♡ i wish they elaborated more on gabriella though, because i like to imagine an alternate ending where she declines stanford and stays in albuquerque for another year which disappoints everyone and puts a strain on her relationship with troy. that would’ve been so interesting! ♡ fave song: i love all of them, but if i had to choose, the boys are back 5. kimmy dora 2: the temple of kiyeme (2009) / dir. joyce bernal ♡ 180626 ♡ the only reason i watched this was because i had a terrible pimple on my forehead and it reminded me of some horror movie then i realized it was this so i had to look for the particular scene ♡ the movie was really bad, as expected ♡ but i absolutely love eugene domingo!! she’s so talented i really admire her as an actress

6. before sunrise (1995) / dir. richard linklater ♡ 180630 ♡ this was the day my internet ultimately stopped working (for four days, if i may add) so i thought hey why not start that movie marathon i’ve been meaning to do ♡ i was excited to watch this because it’s a known pop culture reference, and also because it’s seulgi’s favorite movie ♡ it’s unique! it’s not easy to film a story that revolves around two people who’ve just met walking around in a city neither of them knows ♡ i liked this movie but it wasn’t that spectacular or anything, i think it lacks emotion and excitement ♡ but please, do not get off a train in europe with someone you’ve just met that is dangerous

7. before sunset (2004) / dir. richard linklater ♡ 180630 ♡ i knew nothing about this so i was actually surprised to see the same actors nine years after before sunrise’s release ♡ i like this better than the first one! céline shows the emotions i was looking for ♡ it’s much simpler and easier to follow because it really is just them walking around and talking to continue the story because of the short amount of time they have together

8. before midnight (2013) / dir. richard linklater ♡ 180630 ♡ this movie is the reason i watched the series! it was mentioned in it’s okay, that’s love so i thought i needed to watch this, and honestly, it helped me understand the characters from iotl a bit better! ♡ it ended up being my favorite film of the three ♡ it’s more complex than the first two because it introduces more characters and is set in more locations ♡ after years of watching and reading romcoms, this made me believe in love

9. gone girl (2014) / dir. david fincher ♡ 180701 ♡ i knew nothing about this film except that there was a girl and she was missing and the plot is unexpected? ♡ i won’t say much on this because it’s amazing when you watch it without knowing anything ♡ but it is CRAZY it hecked me up so much wow ♡ will try reading the book when i can!! 10. the grand budapest hotel (2014) / dir. wes anderson ♡ 180701 ♡ my first wes anderson film (finally) ♡ bored me at first because sadly, i can’t relate to rich european men who live in hotels and have sex with elderly women ♡ but it is so much more than that! it’s funny and deals with loyalty, the war, and crap immigrants go through ♡ yes, the cinematography is unique and beautiful, but i couldn’t appreciate it much from years of seeing wes anderson stills on my social media ♡ i went into this without knowing anything about it, but i wish i’d watched the trailer beforehand because that would’ve helped me appreciate it more 11. the fault in our stars (2014) / dir. josh boone ♡ 180702 ♡ i was bored and looking through my sister’s hard drive and i thought hey why not watch sad western teen books-turned-movies i used to glorify years ago ♡ it was alright but knowing every line, song, facial expression that would come next made it worse ♡ john green’s cameo is so awkward it’s almost funny ♡ i hope i never meet an augustus waters in my life 12. if i stay (2014) / dir. r.j. cutler ♡ 180703 ♡ part 2 of sad western teen books-turned-movies i used to glorify ♡ the story is pretty good but the film itself isn’t as good as i remembered ♡ i’m still so in love with jamie blackley after four years he’s so handsome and his voice is beautiful ♡ chloe moretz’s acting is really awkward though it’s almost painful to watch ♡ it made me want to reread the sequel where she went though! 13. she’s dating the gangster (2014) / dir. cathy garcia-molina ♡ 180705 ♡ i started this with an open mind and some expectations because although i hated on it for no reason years ago, i wanted to give it a chance ♡ but i’m sorry it really is bad ♡ kenji delos reyes is manipulative and selfish i hope i never meet a guy like him 14. grave of the fireflies (1988) / dir. isao takahata ♡ 180706 ♡ two siblings in the middle of a war ♡ watched this because a friend wanted to rabbit with me! ♡ i haven’t seen a ghibli film in a while so this was refreshing ♡ really sad though :( 15. 10 things i hate about you (1999) / dir. gil hunger ♡ 180706 ♡ guy is paid to date girl lol ♡ julia stiles is so beautiful :( i love her ♡ pretty funny actually! ♡ also watched this because friends wanted to rabbit with me :> 16. i’m drunk, i love you (2017) / dir. jp habac ♡ 180707 ♡ i finally, finally watched this ♡ not gonna lie it disappointed me? so many people loved it but for me it was eh ♡ paulo avelino’s character was pretty lacking for me, i wish they’d elaborated more on him ♡ but i liked the group dynamic because they’re not the wholesome, fake happy kind of friends, seeing them interact made me feel like they’re people i really know in real life (which made me miss my own friends) ♡ even jasmine’s character felt real because she’s probably someone i’d know HAHA ♡ fun fact: i’ve listened to the song lloydy long before watching this because i mean? a song about john lloyd? sign me up 17. that thing called tadhana (2014) / dir. antoinette jadaone ♡ 180708 ♡ another film i finally watched after multiple pop culture references ♡ i actually kinda liked it! it literally has a spiel about john lloyd of course i do but it gets better when the main characters become comfortable with each other ♡ i find it interesting that the director also directed love you to the stars and back which is another film that revolves around two people, both dealing with stuff, who’d just met and decide to go on a journey together ♡ the characters also feel pretty realistic/relatable once you get to know them 18. the spectacular now (2013) / dir. james ponsoldt ♡ 180709 ♡ part 3 of sad western teen books-turned-movies i used to glorify ♡ the only reason i rewatched this was because it was the shortest of the films i had at the time and i needed something to pass the time while loading episodes of svt club ♡ i mean it’s okay? not bad not good and i don’t even like miles teller ♡ shailene woodley perfectly plays the part of the awkward oblivious girl (and that’s not a compliment) 19. the breakup playlist (2015) / dir. dan villegas ♡ 180716 ♡ this film was so refreshing to watch?? sarah portrayed a youthful musician just starting out so so well i love her so much what a great first sarah g movie for me ♡ piolo made me fall in love with him and later on hate him, as he should ♡ i love opm kaya seeing the gig scene, some actual artists like ebe dancel, and looots of covers of songs like wag na wag mong sasabihin by kitchie nadal and with a smile by eraserheads ♡ i understand now why people love paano bang magmahal HAHAHA 20. barcelona: a love untold (2016) / dir. olivia lamasan ♡ 180717 ♡ alright so remember how i absolutely hated sdtg? ♡ I LOVED THIS FILM SO. MUCH. ♡ kathniel matured a lot in two years and i think they were perfect for this!! they really showed certain struggles of young adults and did not disappoint ♡ it also shows filipino values for family, utang ng loob, ofw struggles, etc ♡ and of course the cinematography is beautiful HUHU i mean it’s barcelona!! 21. my annoying brother (2016) / dir. kwon soo-kyung ♡ 180721 ♡ honestly took me a bit to get into it ♡ i expected it to be funny and although it did make me laugh a lot why were there tears :((( ♡ kyungsoo is so, so, so talented i admire him so much as an actor now ♡ really hits you in the feels! a really beautiful story about two brothers 22. so i married an anti-fan (2016) / dir. kim jae-young ♡ 180724 ♡ meh ♡ it took some getting used to seeing chanyeol being all snobbish and cool instead of his usual loud happy self ♡ of course it’s overdramatic for the comedy, but the hate-turned-love isn’t even that good lol it’s just unreasonable but whatever ♡ the lead girl reminds me of arci munoz HAHA 23. wonder (2017) / dir. stephen chbosky ♡ 180725 ♡ we watched this during my summer program and i was actually pretty excited because i remember loving the book! ♡ this honestly teaches you a lot not even just from the perspective of children but also as teenagers, parents, friends, etc ♡ i thoroughly enjoyed it!

#films #movies #recs #recommendations #reviews #film reviews #movie reviews #film recs #movie recs #high school musical #filipino films #i love troy bolton #sad western teen books-turned-movies i used to glorify #before series

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deadcactuswalking · 7 years ago

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BLAST TO THE PAST: 1st July 2001

Hello again and welcome to BLAST TO THE PAST, where we review UK Top 40 charts from decades ago to see what was happening all the way back then. We’re taking a break from the 1980s and zooming past in lightspeed to 2001, specifically the week of 1st-7th July, as Summer had started to kick in. This chart in particular has some classics and some notable events, which we’ll get into right now.

Top 10

Okay, so first, we have a debut – yep, that’s right, it’s not just intense streaming that lands songs at #1 immediately, there were songs that were big enough to sell just that many copies to get to the top at their first week. At number-one, we have “The Way to Your Love” by megastars Hear’Say, who were pretty damn big in the UK, this being their second chart-topping single. Oh, yeah, and they were created by an ITV reality show, because, I mean, of course they were! They’re a British pop group from the 2000s.

Sadly, we don’t see the rise, yet we see the fall of classic cover “Lady Marmalade”, by the all-star cast of Christina Aguilera, P!nk, Lil Kim and Mýa, from the Moulin Rouge! soundtrack, down one spot to number-two.

We have another top five debut, and not the last top 10 debut, with Usher’s “U Remind Me” starting its chart run at number-three.

At number-four, dropping two places from last week, we have “Angel” by Shaggy featuring Rayvon.

Number-five is home to two-spot-dropper “There You’ll Be” by country singer Faith Hill, from the Pearl Harbor soundtrack.

At number-six, we have the debut of Gorillaz’ “19-2000” featuring uncredited vocals from Miho Hatori as well as founding Talking Heads members Tina Weymouth and Chris Frantz.

“All I Want” by Alesha Dixon-fronted R&B girl group Mis-Teeq has dropped three spaces to its current spot at number-seven.

Do any of you remember Brandy? Because I sure don’t. Apparently she was huge, but I remember her feature on a Kanye track from Late Registration and that’s pretty much it. It’s somewhat strange that she collaborated with Ray “Hey-Fab-I’mma-kill you” J of all people, but—Wait a second! They’re siblings? And Ray J is Snoop Dogg’s cousin? Wow, he really had connections, huh? Anyway, Brandy and Ray J’s cover of Phil Collins’ “Another Day in Paradise” is down three spots to number-eight.

“Another Lover” by another-rando Dane Bowers debuts at number-nine. If you’re wondering who this Dane fellow is, he was in a boyband called Another Level then he was on “Celebrity” Big Brother. In fact, I don’t think I know who this dude is, and I see no reason to find out.

“Do You Really Like It” by DJ Pied Piper and the Masters of Ceremonies finished off the top 10 with a four-space drop back to the final spot in the ten most popular songs of the country as of July 1st, 2001.

Climbers

Let me tell you now – there weren’t many at all. In fact, other than the number-one, there weren’t any songs climbing the charts, rather a whole lot of new entries and a whole lot of fallers.

Fallers

Where do we start?

“Daydream in Blue” by electronica duo (sharing their name with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles episode) I Monster is down 11 spots to #40, “It’s Over Now” by Diddy’s favourite R&B group 112 is down 17 spots to #39 and “Best Friends” by pop group allSTARS* is down eight spots to #38, who had a show on CITV in 2001, and appeared on the Scooby-Doo soundtrack the same year, so I’m assuming they were for kids by kids.

“Close to You” by Wet Wet Wet singer Marti Pellow is down 16 to #37, “No More (Baby I’ma Do it Right)” by three (forgettable) little women known as 3LW is down 10 to #36, “Digital Love” by the best robots in music Daft Punk is down 11 spots to #35, “Out of Reach” by soul singer Gabrielle is down seven spots to #34, “Sing” by alternative rock band Travis is down 10 spots to #33, “Ride wit Me” by Kelly Rowland’s former crush Nelly featuring rapper City Spud is down six spots to #31, “It’s Raining Men” by ex-Spice Girl Geri Halliwell is down 10 to #30, the classic “Papercut” by nu-metal band Linkin Park is down 15 to #29, 1980’s hit “Electric Avenue” by Eddy Grant is here for some reason, but it’s down nine to #28... seriously, why is this here? Apparently it had a “ringbang remix” which landed it into the top five in 2001. Huh, you learn something new and kind of dumb every day.

“Booo!” by lost-in-time musician Sticky (no, not Sticky Fingaz, this Sticky is some nobody without a Wikipedia page) featuring rapper Ms. Dynamite is down 11 to #27, “Here and Now” by the freaking Steps is down nine to #26, “This Time Around” by house music duo Phats & Small is down 15 from #15 to #25, “Thank You” by Dido – best known for Eminem’s excellent use of it as a sample in “Stan” – is down six spots to #24, “Have a Nice Day” by Britpop band Stereophonics is down eight to #20, as is “We Come 1” by electronica group Faithless at #19 as well as “My Way” by walking punchlines Limp Bizkit at #18. “Don’t Stop Movin’” by S Club 7 is down five to #14, as is “All Rise” by boyband Blue at #13. Wow, that was a lot!

Dropouts

Some data in this section may be inaccurate or non-existent, so bear with me as not all drop-outs will be noted in this section, mostly due to the fact that we don’t know a lot of them and I’m just going by what’s there on the UK Singles Chart’s official website.

There weren’t any returning entries this week, so I figured we’d go straight to the drop-outs that we know of, of which there are quite a few of, like “Cold as Ice” by M.O.P. (the Mash-Out Posse) dropping out from #36, “Heard it All Before” by Sunshine Anderson out from #35, “Rock da Funky Beats” by Public Domain featuring Public Enemy Chuck D out from #33, “Video” by India Arie out from #32, “Free” by Mýa out from #39, “Fiesta” by living trash-bag R. Kelly out from #38, “Never Enough” by Boris Dlugosch and Roisin Murphy out from #40, “Musak” by Trisco out from #28, “Jonathan David” by Belle & Sabastian out from #31, “Voodoo” by Warrior out from #37 and, finally, “Let U Go” by ATB out from #34.

NEW ARRIVALS

Now, let’s just jump right into talking about the ELEVEN new arrivals we have this week. I’ll try and keep it brief.

#32 – “Innocente (Falling in Love)” – Delerium featuring Leigh Nash

So, Delerium is an ambient/electronica group known for their hit song “Silence” featuring Sarah McLachlan and Leigh Nash is the lead singer of rock band Sixpence None the Richer, known for their massive hit “Kiss Me”. They would later go on to record a whole album together six years later in 2007, which I don’t really recommend – it’s kind of boring. Is this song a foreshadowing of what to come?

So I’m not the biggest fan of trance at all but I don’t mind this calmer, peaceful trip-hop-influenced stuff from Delerium, in fact I really love the opening guitar riff and the looming instrumentation (and what seem to be bells) before the steady drum beat kicks in and Leigh Nash starts smoothly singing the first verse, all over the instrumentation like she is the main force rather than a jackhammer beat, which is why a lot of EDM doesn’t click with me. However, this is almost not EDM at all. I mean, it’s kind of danceable electronica but, yeah, this is not trance at all, although the strings are definitely reminiscent and it does slowly pick up pace with some uglier synths like trance often does. I don’t know about this, it really drifts along the line between boring and dreamy, much like a lot of songs from Sixpence None the Richer. Did it have to be six minutes? No, but it doesn’t drag on too much in all its peaceful melancholy. I really don’t know why this was listed as a trance song on Wikipedia? Are they talking about the much longer and much worse Tiesto remix? If so, then why did they not specify? Maybe I’m nitpicking about the Wikipedia page more than I should but this song doesn’t really do much for me. If it had some more pop-rock edge from Leigh Nash, maybe I’d like it more, but as it stands, it’s just really weaksauce.

#23 – “Happy People” – Static Revenger

Ah, great, more EDM – lovely. Static Revenger is a Grammy-winning DJ, mostly known for making house and disco. This song in particular went platinum, so you know it’s going to be good, right? Well, if 6ix9ine’s (Platinum-certified!) “GUMMO” told me anything, it’s that sales don’t mean the art or the artists involved are any good... Maybe I should be more open-minded to dance music, I mean, I like a lot of 1990s house so this can’t be much different. I like the R.E.M. song with pretty much the same name, so it’s not like I’m averted to the concept of... happy people. This can’t be too bad.

Oops! I already kind of hate it and love it at the same time. This guitar riff is great but the synths are too static-y for the most part and the build-up feels too drowned out to really be a good build-up until the jackhammer beat starts coming in before the drop, which is a good climax but not entirely satisfying as the simple, repetitive hook stays exactly the same after the drop – I expected some mix-up? The keys introduced after the first drop are a nice change of pace and I appreciate their inclusion, and this is definitely a really fun, exciting and catchy track, however, I think this is just not my thing. It feels soulless and like a bit of a non-presence, which I guess is good for this type of club track? I don’t know, but I guess I just don’t “get” modern EDM still, even though this is barely modern, being early 2000s and all. Maybe I just don’t get EDM at all. Maybe I should learn to have some fun. Probably that last one. Next.

#22 – “Getting Away with It (All Messed Up)” – James

So, James are an indie rock band who have also dabbled in electronica and more experimental rock, including the artsy album WAH WAH. They’re apparently releasing an album next month, which I’ll definitely check out. This single is from their 2001 album Pleased to Meet You, which received mixed reviews by critics at its initial release. Has this song in particular stood the test of time?

Well, yeah, it has. Not in a way that I can be ecstatic about, as it still is somewhat dreary in its constant simplistic guitar strumming, but once the drum beat kicks in, it gets much more exciting and uses the quiet-loud dynamic well, albeit to a lesser extent than other alternative rock bands, as the main increase in volume is the lead singer’s voice, who croons over the oddly funky bassline and the cheap synths as well as the distorted guitar riffs after the first chorus which, yes, are awesome and are pretty nice as a back-up to synth bleeping and different string patterns that add to how intense and urgent the song seems to be, despite its slower tempo. Oh, yeah, and there’s an insane breakdown or solo before the final chorus, where the synths just freak out and that’s pretty damn cool, and the fact that the last chorus continues with the same instrumental makes the song all the more exciting, as it progresses in intensity just to abruptly end. I’m more of a (similarly-named) Travis fan personally, but this song rocks as well.

#21 – “Million Miles Away” – The Offspring

Remember these guys? I don’t know about everyone else, but I used to love these guys. They were one of my favourite bands, and honestly, probably still are as far as rock is concerned. The Offspring are a Californian rock band fronted by Dexter Holland, who always straddled the lines between alternative, pop punk and straight-up punk rock. They have a UK number-one and many other hits (and damn good deep cuts) in their arsenal, so how does this song in particular, from their album Conspiracy of One, fare?

It starts with a rapid and intense guitar riff that isn’t too heavy but fast enough to keep up with the simplistic, mad-cap drumming, creating an instrumental base for Dexter to moan about his break-up over. While I appreciate the instrumental, it is a tad too simple, as is the hook with the “oh, oh, oh” vocalisations and the singing feeling too whiny at times, especially in that chorus. While I love the instrumental to death, I feel Dexter’s sloppily-mixed vocals being all over it ruin it for me. However, there’s enough time where it’s just the backing and the guitar solo also rocks, so yeah, although I’m not a fan of the repetitive lyrics and delivery here, I can dig what’s behind it. Sadly, this is probably the first and only Offspring I’ll get to talk about – trust me, they’ve made much better stuff. My personal favourite of their singles is “Hit That”, if you want to check that absolute romp of a dance-rock track. They’re also releasing a new album this year, so I’m excited for that.

#16 – “Hard to Explain” – The Strokes

The Strokes don’t really need an explanation, right? One of the biggest American rock bands in recent memory, hailing from New York and bringing back garage rock in a huge way that led them to two top 10 UK hits. This is their first ever single, from their debut album Is This It, annoyingly without a question mark. Maybe XXXTENTACION could have lent them one, he seems to have had an extra one left around. That’s beside the point, let’s get into the breakout single from The Strokes.

It starts with a simple drum beat – possibly not from Fabirizio Moretti but rather from a drum machine - before going into one of the most memorable and slick guitar riffs of all time, thanks to guitarists Albert Hammond and Nick Valensi, with a funky bassline provided by Nikolai Fraiture backing not only the guitars up but also the distorted vocals from Julian Casablancas, with a catchy-as-all-hell hook that leads into an abrupt fake-end, before it picks up again for another exciting few minutes of punkish indie rock, with Casablancas’ vocals getting more strained and emotional throughout. I’m actually finding it pretty hard to describe and review this song fairly without insane hyperbole, as Casablancas says, it is pretty hard to explain, as it is one of my favourite hit songs ever, with its perfectly balanced amount of rowdiness and genuine intrigue, and dare I say, a certain classiness to the composition. Fantastic song, fantastic album, and a damn great band.

#15 – “Baddest Ruffest” – Backyard Dog

This is the 2002 FIFA World Cup song, made by big beat producing duo Backyard Dog, consisting of Aniff Akinola and Lloyd Hanley. To my knowledge, they haven’t done anything else, although Akinola here has rapped on other songs, like the mild success “Bounce ‘n’ Boom” and Kirsty MacColl’s top 40 hit “Walking Down Madison”, so it’s debateable if these guys are one-hit wonders, but if one of the most notable things the lead singer has been in was a Vimto advert, it’s safe to say you’ve probably been forgotten in time since. So, how’s Backyard Dog’s seemingly only ever piece of released music (other than their only studio album and the remix EP for this very song) that is documented on the Internet?

Well, it starts with what are assumingly sampled horns in one simple loop before a subtle but effective bass comes in and Akinola starts shouting, adding some ragga influence, but mostly I’d say this is a pretty simple big beat song, with a solid horn hook and even Akinola’s vocals adding a lot of uniqueness to an otherwise not-very-noteworthy track. Hell, I’d like this a lot more if it weren’t for the annoying chicken-like record scratching that makes up most of the song. As it stands, there’s one element that just tears the whole thing apart, which is unfortunate as this is actually a pretty fun and exciting, different song, and I do wish these guys had more material to listen to, because I’m digging their style. It’s pretty intriguing, even if it is just some big beat loops with Caribbean-tinged vocals being yelled over the track by a charismatic performer, who I’ll try and dig up other projects from. I hope these guys reunite to make some more jams.

#12 – “More than That” – Backstreet Boys

Listen, you know who the Backstreet Boys are. I know who the Backstreet Boys are. I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand them. They’re talented men, sure, but it feels a bit too cheesy and sickly sweet for me to really get into. Does that ring true with “More than That”, from their 2000 album Black & Blue?

Yes, of course it does. Why wouldn’t it? It has a pretty interesting albeit typical Latin or tropical guitar riff, but the vocals from the boys here aren’t too great, and everything that surrounds them just feels like purely perfect pop blandness. It’s too perfect – kind of like “These Days” by Rudimental featuring Jess Glynne, Dan Caplen and Macklemore and “Girls Like You” by Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B, both of which I talked about on REVIEWING THE CHARTS. It’s a good song, definitely, but it feels too manufactured for me to enjoy on repeated listening, as in the end, it is a soulless boyband song. What did you expect, a long, in-depth review that focuses on the vocal range of the boys and how excellently they mesh with the smooth R&B production? No, you’re not getting that, because there are better pop songs and better R&B singers that you could be listening to, even if it’s just the early 2000s. In fact, we’ll be talking about another in just a short while.

#9 – “Another Lover” – Dane

No, this is not who I meant! I meant Usher! I didn’t want this complete nobody to come in! Well, what does Dane have to say?

Nothing. He has nothing to say because he is uninteresting and typical lyrically. That was a dumb question, I don’t think he even wrote this song... but in R&B, it’s more about how you say it, and, damn, does he pull off the smooth, Latin-influenced production well! The Latin riffs are still present in the guitars, and the drums are more prominent than they probably should be, but Dane brings a great presence to the track, even if it doesn’t seem like he can actually sing very well at all, using his falsetto a lot of the time to mixed results, but he is fun and has more charisma than Juice WRLD and Dexter Holland when moaning about issues with a partner. I love the whispering in the penultimate chorus as well, which continues in the outro as some kind of acapella percussion, which I appreciate for its experimentalism if anything. This slick 1990s-resembling production and the man’s charisma make this a great listen, even if it’s not on Spotify and only has 70,000 views on YouTube... Yikes. Now, THIS has been forgotten in time.

#6 – “19-2000” – Gorillaz featuring Miho Hatori and Talking Heads (Tina Weymouth and Chris Frantz)

I love Gorillaz. I’ve been a fan for a long while now, and I have grown to love how they blend genres excellently in accessible and catchy yet still experimental and strange pop songs, while still believing that the flow of an album is definitely important... well, they used to do that. Right now, with Humanz and The Now Now, it seems that they care more about the singular songs, which is fair because of streaming being more important now, but like the Avalanches, the flow of the album is seminal in my enjoyment of a Gorillaz album, and that has not been consistent recently, with bloated, boring albums and messes of songs like “Sex Murder Party” and... “Man Research (Clapper)”... from their self-titled 2001 debut album. Okay, so, maybe they’ve never been too great at the whole “making tight compositions” thing. This song is kind of proving as that chaotic structure not working too well. Let me elaborate.

“19-2000” is about the new millennium, as its title suggests, and follows the trends of the bridge between 1999 and 2000 very carefully, with a sampled trip-hop/hip-hop drum beat and catchy boyband-like vocalisations. However, it feels very messy in all its minimalistic joy. You have Miho Hatori’s repetitive lyrics about getting “the cool sunshine”, some reversed and heavily-edited vocal samples, Tina Weymouth and Chris Frantz doing whatever the hell they want in the background with some multi-tracked humming from frontman Damon Albarn, behind careless and slow verses from Albarn. You also have the “we gon’ break out” bridge thing, which is just kind of there? And then you have the various synth noises going on in one specific ear while there’s finger-snapping – could we have saved this for the video, guys? I don’t know, this song is fun and I’m still relatively positive on it, but like “Tranz” and “DARE”, it seems like too much is going on throughout. Also, I don’t know what’s Albarn, what’s Hatori, what’s Weymouth and where the hell Frantz is, so that’s lovely. It just piles into some kind of ball of musical elements, but they don’t mesh. They just keep growing.

#3 – “U Remind Me” – Usher

Usher is one of my favourite artists of all time. His charisma and personality is unmatched in R&B, and he will go down as a legend with some of the best club bangers and powerful and slick R&B ballads in music history. This is US chart-topper “U Remind Me”, from his third album 8701. While I’ve always preferred the Confessions era (my personal favourite Usher track is “Confessions Part II”), I can dig his earlier stuff and this is no exception.

Those introductory strings are damn beautiful, and then the piano and the synths come in, to assist Usher in all his glory, with his smooth delivery and scratched backing gang vocals. Sure, the lyrics can be seen as pretty corny or selfish and close-minded, but Usher pulls them off with his immense amounts of swagger, with a guitar coming in to match his charisma in the second verse. Oh, yeah, the song’s about a girl he can’t date because they remind him too much of an ex... for a song about what seems to be a first-world problem, Usher’s melodramatics may seem unnecessary, but they’re really not. The catchy hook and his many ad-libs really help rather than hinder, as it becomes pretty beautiful considering its potentially silly subject matter by the end. Maybe it’s too long, maybe it’s too overdramatic, but I don’t care. Usher pulls it off like no-one else ever could.

#1 – “The Way to Your Love” – Hear’Say

Okay, can I get a “get out of review” free card? Come on, it’s the eleventh new arrival and it’s the most anti-climactic, blandest-as-possible pop song, orchestrated by a trash talent show, with talented yet uninteresting and charmless singers, as well as cliché production – although the drums here are pretty cool albeit unfitting, I will admit – including the cheapest strings I’ve heard this side of Soundcloud rap, which I feel I’ve made too many comparisons to in a blog about 2000s pop music. Ah, well. What’s this song got to say, do or try and get across? Nothing. Nothing at all. This is so cheesy that I feel the milk being heated already... yet it’s not even funny. It’s just boring. It’s just a slog. Just an uninteresting, undeserving #1. At least it’s not “Freaky Friday”.

Conclusion

Best of the Week goes to “Hard to Explain” by The Strokes, no competition, although “U Remind Me” is an Honourable Mention and deservedly so. Worst of the Week? Although I have the most bile for our #1 here, yeah, it’s going to “Innocente (Falling in Love)” by Delerium for just being insanely boring, with Dishonourable Mention going to “The Way to Your Love”, I suppose. Nothing here is outright bad, just very uninteresting. See you tomorrow for REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

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sunray-sunray · 7 years ago

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I was tagged by @eveningalchemist - thanks, btw :)

Rules: List 10 favourite characters from 10 different fandoms.

1.) Harry Potter - Luna Lovegood

She’s so special and doesn’t care what others think of her - she just does her thing and is happy about it :3

2.) Supernatural - Dean Winchester

A character who trusts not easily, but when he trusts you, he gives his live to save and protect you - one thing I love about him :)

3.) Doctor Who - Amy Pond

strong-minded, intelligent, but warm-hearted and humorous at the same time. After “the angels take Manhattan” I was so destroyed..

4.) Black Butler - Undertaker

A villain? A good guy? A little bit of a lunatic? Well - I don’t know exactly how to describe him (apart from the fact that he loves to laugh), but I loved this character ever since he appeared for the first time. He’s just so unpredictable <3

5.) Tolkien - Haldir

I loved this character so much - even though he’s sort of a secondary character, but this fact often makes it even more interesting for me to learn more about someone :)

6.) The Hollows - Algaliarept

Unfortunately I didn’t found a picture that fits 100% my idea of this character, therefore I chose the cover of a part of the Hollows Series (a book series by Kim Harrison).

He’s a demon who is doomed to live in “the Ever-After” (sort of an other reality), who comes in contact with Rachel Morgan, a witch. Later on he teaches her demon magic and eventually has a amicable connection with her.

7.) Naruto - Kakashi Hatake

He’s, apart from Jiraiya, my favourite character of this show - loves to read, has a difficult past - the perfect man ;D

8.) Moonlight - Mick St. John

I started watching this show before the whole “Vampire-Hype”, in which so many Vampire/werewolf-series were created, started and I loved it.

There are a few things I don’t like about him (for instance that he’s so determined to hate what he is - a Vampire), but just as many things I love about this character (for example his protective instincts and the attitude to do everything he can for his loved ones)

9.) Sherlock - Mrs. Hudson

Do I need to say more about why I love this character so much? *pointing to the gif below* :D

10.) Dance of the Vampires (Musical) - Count Krolock

I like many Musicals (Hamilton, Elisabeth, Cats, Lestate,etc.), but this was the very first one I listened to when I was a kid and I loved it straightaway.

Count Krolock is a very old Vampire who lives in his Castle somewhere in Romania (I think?) who sort of falls in love with a young woman named Sarah (yeah, I know - such a cliche xD ). It’s not clear how he became a Vampire, but he wasn’t very happy about it at the beginning (he accidentally killed his first love). I think one of the facts that fascinates me is, that he knows that his way of (un)living is wrong, but at the same time he is aware that he will live forever, so he is resigned to it and eventually tries to fit in this new century somehow.

Well, that’s it - I had a lot of fun doing this ^^

All credits to owners! ;)

Apart from everyone who likes to do it, I tag @flippingontheclosetlight @pikaa-chan @adelus21 @choosing-freedom @codexdracula @mermaidlili @nochillscientist @darkshadow91 @anorwegiannotnamedsigerson

#fandom game #tag game #have fun #:)#mrs. hudson #Count krolock #dance of the vampires #mick st. john #kakashi #haldir #algaliarept #undertaker #amy pond #dean #luna lovegood

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taeken-my-heart · 7 years ago

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Independent {f} -Chapter 5

Summary: Your mom calls you stubborn, your friends call you wild, and the boys you’ve left in your wake call you a frigid bitch. You’ve built a life of independence and you like it that way. Kim Taehyung, however; seems to be able to change your mind.

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Light fluff

Warnings: Mentions of death

Word count: 6736

The day had become considerably colder and you pulled your coat further around your body. The month had progressed from chilly to bitter surprisingly fast and you hadn’t been prepared for the wind biting at your nose and ears this morning as you’d tried to go to class. As a result, you’d had to run back in the house to grab a coat and hat and had just barely made it to class on time.

It was the kind of cold that made you wish you’d chosen to go to a college on the other end of the country, but that would mean you’d be too far away from your father’s grave and you couldn’t fathom that. You went to his grave every year on the anniversary of his death. It was therapeutic to be able to speak to him, even if you felt unsure he could hear.

Tomorrow was the anniversary of his death and you were planning to go out of town to meet your mom and brother to go see his grave. You dreaded this day every year. You always heard people say that over time it got better, but honestly you were still waiting for that to happen. When your dad had first died you honestly felt like you were drowning every day, the sheer density of your despair suffocating you. While you had learned to function in new ways, that emptiness in your chest was never whole. It was an intense numbness that filled you and you just spent time focusing on not letting that consume your everyday.

Tomorrow would be the second to last day of the rehearsals for the Winter Recital and you’d gotten special permission from the director and all your teachers to be absent. Sitting in the back of the library now, you slouched moodily into your chair as you thought about tomorrow. You were hoping to escape early from your house so as to avoid the looks of pity on the faces of your roommates. You knew they meant well, but sometimes you just really couldn’t handle seeing it.

There was a guilt that nestled into your chest each time you had to look at your friends feeling sad for you. It was never your intention to have people feel sad for you and in fact you felt awkward about it. You flipped through the tabs on your laptop as you look for the information you needed to finish your essay for your English class.

Suddenly your vision catches at someone walking through the library doors and you sink even further into your chair as you spot Taehyung walking confidently into the main lobby. Last night had left you feeling vulnerable and right now he was the last person you wanted to speak to so you pull your hair like a curtain around your face and shrink as far down as possible.

He doesn’t spot you and you watch as he catches the eye of a group of people sitting at a table on the other end of the room before he goes and sits down with them. He’s laughing and smiling easily with them and you notice, with dismay, that he is sitting next to a particularly pretty girl with long, wavy blonde hair and big green eyes whose flirting appears to be well received by him.

You try to tamper down the feelings of discomfort and you stare back at your screen, leg bouncing anxiously under the table. You were suddenly unsure of how to finish your essay when your mind was so occupied with ignoring the dark haired man on the other side of the room.

Sighing, you resign yourself to finishing your essay later when you got home and close the lid of your laptop, forcing it absentmindedly into your backpack. You still had 15 minutes until you needed to leave the library and head to your class but now that you were no longer behind the safety of your laptop screen, you knew you needed to leave sooner rather than later to avoid Taehyung seeing you.

After accidentally falling asleep at his apartment and with your dad’s anniversary coming up, you were too sensitive to be seen by him right now so you quietly slung your backpack over your shoulders and skirted your way towards the door. You’d almost made your way to the door when you accidentally bumped into the ridiculous medal gong in the middle of the lobby and you cringed with embarrassment as it rang loudly through the main floor.

You were sure you could hear Taehyung calling your name but you didn’t wait to find out. As soon as you were out of the front door you sprinted around the corner and off to your last class of the day, leaving the library in your dust.

Later that evening you trudged sleepily back into your apartment. You still needed to eat and finish your English essay but the calls of your bed were like a siren to your aching bones. You sighed, rounding your shoulders and dropping down at your desk, loading your laptop back up so that you could finish the final page to the bane of your existence and then shove some food in your face before falling under your covers. With a cup of warm tea in hand, you rushed through the last page, threw in some more references for good measure before saving your work and shutting down.

The knock at your bedroom door roused you and you called out, watching as Sarah stepped into the room, holding out a bowl of spaghetti. “Here, I made you some dinner. I know you were still working on that paper and need to get into bed early tonight so I thought I’d help you out. I know how you are when it comes to crunch time, you skip out on important things.”

She smiled at your sheepish grin and sat on the edge of your bed. “Thanks.” You mumbled.

“Of course,” she said softly, nodding and looking down at her stocking covered feet. “So, what time are you leaving tomorrow?”

“I’ll be out of the house by 6,” you mumbled, taking a big bite of spaghetti.

“When will you be back?”

“Not until late, maybe 10?”

“OK, well I can wait up if you want.” Sarah said. You smiled, swallowing a particularly large bite of noodles.

“That’s OK, I’ll want to be alone, anyway. Thank you, though.” Sarah nodded, squeezing your hand.

“OK, well, I’ll leave you be then, you’ve gotta get ready for bed soon anyway.”

30 minutes later you were in pajamas, with teeth brushed and staring up at the ceiling absentmindedly. It was a little early to be trying to sleep, but with such an early morning planned you couldn’t bring yourself to stay up any later.

You could hear a knocking at the front door by your window and you listened as Sarah walked to open the door. You were surprised when you heard the deep timber of Taehyung’s voice echoing through the hallway and underneath your door.

“Hi,” you heard him say, “Is Y/N home?”

“Yes, but she’s sleeping.” You heard Sarah’s soft murmur. You turned carefully in your bed, turning to look up at your flimsy curtains. You could see the shadow of Taehyung’s hair through the curtains of your window and your heart began to pound uncomfortably in your chest. Why was he here?

“So early? Is she sick?”

“No, she’s OK, she’s just got an early day tomorrow.”

“OK, I’m glad to hear she’s not sick. I saw her in the library today, she seemed a bit off so I wanted to check on her.”

“She just had a big essay to finish so her mind has been occupied.” You could see Taehyung’s head bobbing up and down in understanding and you chewed on your bottom lip. He wanted to check on you?

“OK.” It went silent for a moment and you began to wonder if he’d left. “Can you just let her know I stopped by?”

“Sure.” Sarah said softly.

“Thank you.”

You could hear the door closing softly and watched Taehyung’s shadow shift by the door. He didn’t move, his head bent slightly as though he was looking at his shoes and you were about to sit up to see why he hadn’t walked away when your phone dinged. You looked at the dimly lit screen on your bedside table before reaching over and pulling it to you.

Taehyung: I dropped by your place to see if you’re OK. Heard you have a big paper. Good luck! See you tomorrow at rehearsal? [8:32 pm]

You stared at the text for what seemed like too long. Glancing back out towards the shadows on the other side of your curtain, Taehyung’s mop of hair was no longer visible and you glanced back at the words on the screen. Your heart was beating a little too quickly in your chest and your eyes zoned out on the ceiling, hand dropping softly at your side.

How did people deal with feelings? How did they not just explode from being so overwhelmed? The bubbling’s of the crush you’d been forcing down for months now were coming to the surface and you had never felt more afraid. Ever since your father had passed away, you’d built a wall around your heart to protect yourself from the hurt and disappointment of another lost relationship and you weren’t really sure you were ready to take those walls down…or frankly, even how to do it.

Taehyung was a really nice guy, so genuine and happy, but you were afraid to be hurt. You rolled onto your side, placing your phone back onto your bedside table and biting your lip in frustration. There was no use thinking about it now, you didn’t even know how Taehyung felt about you. For all you knew, he could just be really friendly. You would end up setting your heart on him and then you’d only get hurt. Sighing, you shook those thoughts from your head. You refused to let that happen, you were stronger than that and no guy was going to break your heart.

The next morning you woke early, dressing warm and grabbing your coat from the back of your door. The early morning air felt even more bitterly cold on this day and you wrapped your scarf in a tight knot around your neck. There was one bus that would take you the hour journey back to your home town and from there your mom and brother would pick you up.

You sat quietly at the bus stop; the world too silent in the early morning hour. It was the kind of eerie quiet you tried to escape because it left you to your thoughts. Memories of your dad waking you up early on the first day of November to go sit at the top of the hill by your house and watch the sun rise. At the time you’d complained a lot, you were only 10 and honestly kind of a brat, but your dad had insisted it was something you needed to do at least once in life. Why in the world he’d chosen November 1st at 5:30 in the morning, you would never know.

So, you’d trudged bitterly up the hill with him, bundled up in your bright purple parka with a slightly too large beanie falling into your eyes and your favorite Powerpuff Girls gloves warming your fingers. Your breath had fogged the way and you’d kicked a rock bitterly once you’d made it to the top, sitting down on the ice crisped grass and staring blankly ahead.

When the sun had finally started to rise you sat in wonder, watching as the beautiful pinks, oranges, and yellows began to engulf the sky. “Sometimes, kiddo, you’ve gotta go the extra mile to find the beauty in even the simplest of moments.”

The two of you sat on that hill until the sun had finally finished rising and then returned home to a warm fire and your mother chastising your father for taking her 10-year-old out in weather that was not good for her health. You weren’t listening, though, in that moment you had been changed. You didn’t realize then how beautiful of a gift your dad was giving you. The desire to capture beauty had bloomed and after his death it was insatiable; as though if you managed to catch the moments that reminded you of that day with your father, that maybe he might come back; or at least be proud of you from wherever he was.

You spent most of the bus ride with your thoughts in much of the same place, staring out the window as the trees and fields passed by in blurs of color. Your cheek had rested so heavily in your hand you were sure it had left a mark, but you didn’t care. Pulling into the bus terminal you waited as everyone else disembarked before standing and grabbing your backpack, mostly empty now as you’d depleted the few snacks you’d brought to keep you sane. You could see your mother and brother waiting for you in the station, faces terse and as tired as you felt.

When your mother spotted you her face split into a soft smile, holding out her arms for you to walk into. “I’m glad you’re here.” She softly.

“You know I’d never miss this.” You murmured.

“Yeah.” She smiled, standing back and running her hand down the back of your head.

“Hey Ben.” You said as he stepped forward, pulling you into a hug.

“Hey,” he mumbles into your hair, hugging you tight before releasing you from his grip and shoving his hands into his jean’s pockets, “how’s school going Tuck?”

Tuck

A nickname your dad had given you as a kid. One of the only words you could manage to say as a three-year-old with barely any vocabulary who refused to try communicating in anything other than grunts and hand movements. This simple word was your love note to your dad each night, an indication that you wanted your favorite person to tuck you into bed with a bedtime story and a kiss goodnight. It was a bittersweet memory, but rather fitting of the occasion.

“Schools good, just trying to figure out a balance between projects I’ve been assigned.”

“How’s that one photography assignment you were telling me about?” Ben asked, grabbing your backpack from you as the three of you made your way out to the parking lot, your mothers arm linking through your own.

“I’ve basically exhausted every picture idea I’ve got; I don’t know what more they want me to do. There’s only so many different angles you can get.”

Your mom’s arm tightened around your own, squeezing your bicep. “How many more days do you have to do it?” She asked as you stopped in front of your family’s car, waiting for your brother to fish the keys from his pocket and open the doors.

“Only one.” You said, sliding into the back seat as your mother sat in the passenger seat, turning to face you and Ben put the car in gear, backing out of the parking space.

“Then what?” Ben asked, glancing into the rear-view mirror. You shrugged, looking out your window and biting softly into your fist.

“I’ve got some history project I have to do as well as a couple papers to write.”

Ben made a gagging noise and you smiled at him. “I don’t miss that at all.” He said, taking the ramp onto the highway.

“That’s ironic, coming from you. How’s work, anyway?” You asked, peering at his eyes in the reflection of the mirror. Ben had graduated from college last year and had since been working as a math teacher at your old high school. You’d called him a glutton for punishment when he’d initially announced his chosen field in his sophomore year of college. After all his griping about homework and unrealistic expectations on students all through high school and into his first year of university, returning to the school environment as a profession was completely baffling.

Ben chuckled, “it’s rewarding.”

His response was so bland and sparse that you frowned deeply and he smiled at you in the mirror. “Don’t know what you want me to say, Tuck. Turns out teaching is my calling after all. At first, I wanted to do it because I wanted to change all the things I hated about school when I was growing up but now, I genuinely feel like I’m doing something good; like I’m needed.”

You sighed, lips pursing together in thought. You really couldn’t fault him for that, at least he was doing something he felt passionate about.

The rest of the drive was filled with light conversation, catching up on the last few months that you’d been apart and soon enough you were pulling into the familiar grounds of the cemetery. It was still fairly early in the morning, close to 8am and the day was still far too cold for your liking as you stepped out of the car, grabbing the bouquet of flowers from beside you in the backseat.

The graveyard was more bleak than usual with a morning frost hardening the ground. The grass crunched beneath your shoes as you walked towards the middle of the cemetery where your father’s grave was. There was no one else around in the early morning hours which was ideal, you hated strangers standing around witnessing your heartbreak.

You came every year, early in the morning to spend an hour with your dad, updating him on your lives and anything he’d missed. The one time someone other than the three of you came was shortly after Paul had proposed to your mom.

“I think your dad would want to know,” she’d stated, “he deserves to meet the man who’s become a part of our lives.”

“Don’t you think he’ll be upset?” 16-year-old you had asked.

“No. Your dad wanted us to be happy, he told me not to stay lonely. People need to be loved, y/n; your dad knew that.”

It had felt strange to let Paul into something so personal, even he had admitted to feeling strange but had understood the importance of the moment for your mother. Ever since that day he’d chosen to remain home and allow you the privacy he felt your family deserved while he prepared breakfast for your return.

As you finally made your way in front of your dad’s grave stone you felt that familiar burning in your chest and lungs, as though the wound was being opened again. It was the kind of burning you get when you watch a movie that makes you want to cry, but worse. The kind of pain that was all consuming and that burned so intense you thought it might never end. Your mom placed her hand on the top of the grave stone, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath of the bitter morning air.

“We’re back, honey,” She said softly, “I’m sorry we haven’t been back in a little while, things got kind of busy. We should be better about it, though. If you were here right now, I’m sure you’d be scolding us. Paul and I are doing well, he makes me really happy and takes good care of me; I know you’d be happy to hear that. I miss you a lot, though; I think about you every day.”

“Hey dad,” Ben said, “I guess it’s been a few months now, huh. I’m sorry I haven’t been back before this; teaching kind of takes the energy right out of me. I miss you a lot. I remembered you always used to tell me to chase my dreams and to make sure they were something that would make me into a good man. Thanks for always pushing me to be someone I could face in the mirror every day.” He stroked the top of the gravestone gently before stepping back, shoving his hands into his jean’s pockets.

You sighed, stepping forward and holding up the bouquet of flowers, “hey dad, we brought you flowers. I miss you. I’ve had a stressful week and I’ve hated not having you here to talk to. You used to know exactly what to say to make me feel like I could handle whatever it was I was going through.” You cried, rubbing at your eyes with your fists, “You were never actually that good with your advice, but somehow, you just knew what I needed to hear. Sometimes I feel so cheated. You’re supposed to still be here but you just left me; left us. I know it’s not your fault, life isn’t fair, but you sure did leave a big hole. I hope you’re resting well because you are so missed.”

The three of you spent the next hour sitting around the grave telling each other about all that had happened to you the last few months, laughed and cried together and finally made your way back to the car and towards your home, leaving the bouquet of flowers in the pot by your father’s gravestone. Paul was in the kitchen cooking up a storm with Goose laying across his feet. As soon as you entered the room Goose jumped up, yapping happily and running towards you, golden tail smacking everything in his way.

You laughed, bending down to give him a hug. “I’ve missed you, buddy.” You grinned, scratching behind his ears as he looked up at you, tongue lolling from the side of his mouth and eyes wide with excitement.

“Y/N,” You looked up to find your step father striding towards you, arms open. You slid your arms around his waist, falling into his big bear hug. When Paul had come into your lives, he’d been a saving grace to not only your mother but to you and Ben as well. It wasn’t possible to fill the hole that your father has left when he passed away but Paul had worked hard to lessen the burden.

He had spent months helping you to adjust to him, helping you with homework, playing fetch at the park with you and Goose, coming to all your baseball games with your mother and brother. He’d even disclosed to you that his own parents had passed away when he was young, leaving him to be raised by his aunt and uncle. The hurt that he’d felt and that you had also felt was a connection you didn’t realize you could have with someone else. In your little 11-year-old mind, you were all alone but when you were 16 and Paul had come into your lives, you had finally realized you weren’t alone, there were other people out there who could understand.

“Hey Paul,” you smiled, as you stepped back, taking a deep breath, “it smells amazing in here.”

“I’m glad to hear that! I’ve spent all morning trying to make sure you’d be well fed when you got home. Sit down everyone, let’s get some food in our bellies.”

“So, Y/N, you mentioned a guy briefly on the phone…” Ben said, smirking as your head bounced up in alarm.

“A guy?” Paul asked, frowning, “I don’t know if I like the sound of that.”

Your mother laughed and swatted at his arm, “she’s in college now, there can be guys!”

You groaned, shaking your head and pulling a waffle onto your plate. “Don’t get ahead of yourselves, you know how I am.”

“A wet blanket?” Ben asked, “Yeah, we know.”

You glared at your brother, “No! I’m just not very good at relationships.”

“Well, relationships take practice, honey.” Your mother smiled, smoothing her hand over yours from across the table.

“We’re not in a relationship.” You griped, shoving food into your mouth in an attempt to avoid the conversation.

Your mom chuckled good naturedly and shrugged, “Well whatever you kids are calling it these days, I’m just saying. There’s no need to stress yourself about these sorts of things, the best thing you can do is try.”

“So, what about this guy?” Paul asked, taking a large bite of sausage, “do I need to get my shotgun.”

You smiled up at him, rolling your eyes. “No, look, it’s just this guy that’s in the recital I’ve been photographing. At first, we met down town and ever since then it seems like everywhere I go he’s there too, as though we’re being thrown together, but it’s completely coincidental. I don’t know, he’s really nice and I kind of like him, but that freaks me out to be honest.”

“Well relationships are scary.” Your mom commented.

“Mom,” you groaned, “we’re not in a relationship. We’ve hung out a couple of times and we walk back home together after the recital since my house is on the way to his apartment.”

“What’s his name?” Ben asked.

“No way, I’m not telling you anything. The last time I gave you a guy’s name you found his number and harassed him until he treated me like the plague.”

“That was in 10th grade!” Ben insisted.

“Yeah, and I learned my lesson!” You cried, though your eyes crinkled into a smile.

“Oh, come on, give me something here, you haven’t talked about a guy in so long!” Ben complained.

“Ok, here’s a little nougat of gold for you,” you leaned forward and Ben in turn leaned forward in his seat, “he goes to my school.” You whispered.

Ben rolled his eyes and Paul laughed loudly. After breakfast you excused yourself to go to the bathroom but instead walked quietly to the office. You’d moved from your childhood home to this one in your junior year of high school so the office wasn’t the same as the one you’d sat in with your father, but the chair you always sat in while he worked was still there. You called it “dad’s chair” despite it always being occupied by yourself because all your memories associated with it were in regards to your father.

Closing the door quietly behind yourself, you slunk over to the chair, sliding down into the comforting arms of the aging mahogany brown chesterfield by the bay window. It had begun to snow shortly before you’d left the cemetery and had continued all through breakfast. Now there was a deep curtain of white covering the entire front garden and the gravel path out to the main road. The whole world felt still as you peered out into the dreary morning sky. The rose bushes stood ridged, spots of red poking out from beneath white tendrils and the pine trees swayed gently in the breeze.

“Hey dad,” you whispered quietly. “I’m back. Only for a few hours, but I’m here. I wanted to tell you about a guy earlier, but mom and Ben were there and you know how they are. He’s this guy at school that I’ve sort of been hanging out with. He’s totally quirky and weird, but is it strange that I kind of like that? I met him not that long ago, but I’ve been seeing him around campus for a long time. We have this duck mailbox outside of my house and he’s been patting it on the head every morning on his way to school; that’s how I first saw him. That’s kind of what piqued my interest, honestly. He’s also just so handsome and he doesn’t seem to see the way that other women stare at him. And he’s so nice, like so nice. I guess I’m telling you all this because I’m confused.”

“I don’t know what to think of him,” you continued carefully, looking towards the door to make sure it was still shut tight, “I think I’m starting to really like him and that scares me. I’ve always been really good at avoiding this sort of thing but he’s completely new territory. I don’t even know if he likes me back, that’s what makes it so scary. What if I’m trying to open myself up for the first time in a long time but he’s not? I don’t want to waste my time and break my own heart.” You sighed, staring into your lap as you pulled your legs further into your chest. “I wish you were here to tell me what to do; I really need your advice right now. I see him all the time right now because I’m photographing this recital he’s in and now he’s also the TA in my Art History class. So, I went from only seeing him patting that duck to talking to him daily and it’s exciting and terrifying and I just wish I could stop overthinking the whole thing.” You could hear your mother calling your name from the living room and you closed your eyes, leaning your head back against the chair. “Anyway, mom’s looking for me so I guess I’ve got to cut this short. Thanks for always being willing to listen. Love you, Dad.”

You joined the rest of your family back in the living room with a quick excuse about where you’d been as you settled into the couch, curling into your mom’s shoulder as Ben started a movie. The rest of the afternoon was spent watching movies, playing board games, and just being together. That evening a little before 8 your family dropped you back off at the bus station, each hugging you in turn.

“It was good to see you honey,” your mom breathed, squeezing you tightly before letting you go.

Ben grabbed you next, pulling you into a bone crushing hug, “let me know if you need me and Paul to come up there and hunt that guy down, Tuck, you know we’ll do it.”

You chuckled smacking his arm as you pulled away. “That won’t be necessary.” You smiled.

Paul gave you a big hug, wishing you luck with all your tests and projects before you grabbed your newly snack filled bag and climbed on the bus. The sun had set a long time ago so as the bus rattled along its journey you could hardly see out into the night cloaked scenery. You couldn’t wait to get back to campus and just be alone for a little while. You didn’t intend on going back home as soon as you arrived because your roommates would want to check in on you and you weren’t ready for that yet, you needed to have your moment to really cry and feel everything you were bottling up and you were waiting until you were sitting by the lake under your favorite oak tree.

The cold sunk deep into your bones the moment you stepped off the bus and back onto campus. You made the short trek from the bus stop to the lake and through the park until you found your favorite tree and sat down heavily underneath it. The lake was beginning to freeze over from the cold and you watched your breath fog in front of you by the light of a nearby arc lamp. Today had been overwhelming, all of it, and you began to let those emotions sweep you away, tears slowly trickling before the full-on storm came. You cried heavily, pulling your knees up to your chest and burying your face in them.

How did the world expect you to continue on each day pretending that nothing had happened, that your dad dying hadn’t utterly devastated you? There were definitely days where it was easier to pretend that you were OK and to forget for a little bit, years of practice had helped with that, but on days like today you were too weak to fight it and frankly, you didn’t even want to try. You sniffed and your head bobbed up at the sound of quiet footsteps walking across the bridge to your left and your heart stopped, dropping to the pit of your stomach as Taehyung’s face came into view. You stood quickly, wanting to rush away so he couldn’t see you at your weakest moment, but it was too late, he was already across the bridge and coming to your side, worry etched into his expression.

“Hey, are you ok?” Taehyung asked, his brows deepening as he took in your tear streaked face, “what happened?”

You shook your head, pushing your fingers through your hair. You weren’t sure you were ready to share this part of your life with him, and yet… “Today is the anniversary of my dad’s death.”

There was silence for what felt like too long before Taehyung nodded, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulled you into a hug. Part of you wanted to pull away, your need to be strong nearly overtaking your desire to receive comfort. But the heat of his embrace and the gentleness of his hand stroking your back made you cling tighter.

People can only be strong for so long and he’d found you in the exact moment you felt you couldn’t take it anymore. He had the uncanny ability to soothe your aching heart and confused mind and at times that made you feel a separate type of confusion; but not today.

Today you needed this. He held you tight as your cheek pressed into his chest. He smelled so soft, like laundry detergent and soap, and you could hear the gentle hum of his heart coaxing your tears. His fingers running gently through your hair seemed to jolt you back to your senses and you pulled away slowly, wiping at your eyes.

He looked incredibly handsome with his dark hair pushed off his forehead and underneath his hat, deep eyes peering into your own. It made your heart jolt in fear and excitement from how much you were starting to like him.

“I’m sorry about your shirt.” You mumbled sheepishly, gazing at the small dark patch by his shoulder. He looked down, smiling and shrugging.

“I don’t mind.” He reached out for your hand but seemed to think better of it as he dropped his hand back by his side. “Is there anything I can do for you today? Anything that will help you feel better?”

“Bring my dad back?” You mumbled, bottom lip trembling and you bit down on it in frustration, closing your eyes and facing away from him. You needed to be stronger than this.

You could hear the soft smile in Taehyung’s voice before opening your eyes to see it. “I wish I could.” He said softly. “It’s really cold outside, why don’t you come over for a little bit and I can make you some hot chocolate to warm up?”

“I don’t know,” you murmured, “I should probably just go home.”

“Come on, my apartment is closer than yours right now and you need something to distract you. When the anniversary of my grandmother’s death comes around my family and I get together and have a party to celebrate her life. I don’t have a party for you, but I do have a warm apartment and conversation.”

You don’t know why, but you found yourself nodding and following him as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and steered you out of the park. He rubbed his hand up and down your arm as you shivered in the cold and looked down at you quietly.

“So, did you stay at home today?” He asked carefully.

You shook your head, keeping your vision trained forward as you pushed down the rising emotion in your chest. “No, I went back home for the day. I only live an hour and a half away by car. My mom, brother and I go to my dad’s grave each year. We sit around and tell him all about what’s been happening in our lives and then go home and spend the day together, with my step dad Paul, and just reminisce.”

You weren’t really sure why you were telling him all this stuff; it was so personal and the only other people who knew about this were Sarah and Anna. For whatever reason it all just kept spilling out when you were around him as though you had absolutely no filter. You finally reached Taehyung’s apartment and he helped you inside, sitting you down at the kitchen table before rushing around the kitchen, grabbing a couple mugs, some milk, and hot chocolate mix.

The room was silent for a few minutes while he prepared your drinks and you watched him in silence. The muscles in his back corded loosely under his baggy white long-sleeved shirt as he mixed the chocolate and milk together with a spoon before throwing the spoon in the sink and bringing the cups to the table to sit with you.

“Thank you.” You said softly, taking the cup he placed on the table in front of you. “Where are your roommates?”

Taehyung blew softly into his cup before taking a careful sip and humming at the taste. “They’re here, just back in their rooms.”

You nodded, staring down into your own drink before taking a big gulp. The chocolate was warm and delicious and you could feel it making its way down your throat to circle in your belly. This was exactly what you needed, the only thing that would make it better would be sweat pants and a big fluffy blanket. Before you could say anything further, Taehyung was excusing himself quickly and you watched as he disappeared behind a door to the hallway. You could hear him shuffling around and then suddenly he reappeared with the fluffiest blanket you’d ever seen, wrapping it carefully around your frame and tucking it into your arms.

You looked down at him in awe as he crouched beside you, tucking the ends in with a deep look of concentration. He was so close you could almost count his eyelashes and you felt your heart stutter in your chest. “Are you reading my mind?” You whispered and he looked up at you suddenly, eyebrows knitting.

“Reading your mind?” He asked softly, not bothering to move away as his hands stilled on the blanket by your heart. You were sure if he moved his hand much closer, he would feel how quickly your heart was pounding in your chest.

You nodded mutely. “How did you know I wanted a blanket?”

Taehyung smiled and you suddenly noticed the little mole on his bottom lip blinking out at you. You felt like your mind was turning to pudding. “I just thought you looked cold.” He said.

You both stared at each other for too long before you suddenly reached up, kissing his cheek carefully before pulling away. Taehyung’s eyes widened in surprised and you looked back down into your cup, breaking the moment. “Thank you.” You said softly, “thank you for being so kind to me. I’m practically a stranger to you but you’re always so nice.” Taehyung pulled his chair next to you and sat down, leaning in closely.

“You’re not a stranger,” he smiled gently, “you’re Y/N, sweet, sarcastic, passionate, a little confusing, and kind of scary, but in a good way. Thank you for letting me help you tonight and thank you for being so patient with me, I know I can be a little bit of a handful.”

You starred into his deep, russet brown eyes before setting your cup down and wrapping your arms around his neck in a hug. You could feel him tense in surprise but he quickly slid his arms around your waist, melting into you in a deep hug that you really needed. Today had been too long and too painful and he was like a little piece of sunshine in the bleak darkness.

You stayed for another hour talking with his hand on the back of your chair and his continued fussing over your blanket not keeping you warm enough before he walked you home, giving you one last hug that seemed to last forever and not long enough all at once before you were wrapped up in your own bed, pulling the blankets snuggly up to your chin and falling asleep.

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you’re enjoying! I’m sorry it took me so long to update this chapter, I got surprisingly busy at work and any free time I had was divided between family, writing, and sleeping. If you ever have any questions about the characters please feel free to send me an ask and I’ll be happy to answer!

Chapter 4

Chapter 6

#sfwbangtan #taehyung #tae #reader #fluff #bts v #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #kim taehyung #bts army #bts #fanfic #bangtan #bangtan boys

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mimosaeyes · 7 years ago

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Stuff I’ve been reading in 2017

The third annual reading list! (Here’s 2015 in two parts, and 2016.) School was killing my love of reading but I refused to let it. And so here we are, three years and 280 books later.

I’ve taken the liberty of bolding my favourite reads this year, and including some background about how I came to read what I did. Here we go:

I pseudo-resolved to read slower this year, and savour books that need time to seep in. Longer books tend to fit that profile for me, so I went and read the longest book in my home library.

1. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, translated from the Russian by Rosemary Edmonds (reflections here)

Don’t know how I zeroed in on this gem in a Kinokuniya bookstore, but I love it and you should definitely read it. Go. Go now. I was two years slow on the uptake for Pulley’s debut, but when her second novel came out this year, I literally ordered it online in 0.0002 seconds. It’s number 51 on this list.

2. The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley

I can’t summarise how I feel about this next one. It just gets to me. After reading it, I went on to watch the film as well as its 20-years-later sequel. I might read some more by Welsh, but gosh the Scottish accent is hard to decipher.

3. Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh

Perfect for bringing along on my first semester studying overseas.

4. Hector and the Search for Happiness by François Lelord

And then the school texts start! As does leisure/procrastination reading: all the Neruda and Sexton poetry, plus Dostoevsky. Only novels, novellas, plays, and anthologies are listed here; this semester I studied many isolated short stories and poems. Books I read twice are the ones I happened to write essays on – it doesn’t necessarily mean I liked them a lot. (In fact, if I really like a book, sometimes I deliberately avoid writing about it, because analysing something too much can ruin it.) I read all the poetry aloud, because poetry, but I worry also in part because the silence in my room was getting oppressively lonely.

5. Joe Cinque’s Consolation by Helen Garner 6. Bereft by Chris Womersley (twice, actually) 7. Melanctha by Gertrude Stein 8. Breath by Tim Winton (twice, actually) 9. As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner 10. Pablo Neruda: Selected Poems edited by Nathaniel Tarn, translated from the Spanish by Anthony Kerrigan, W. S. Merwin, Alastair Reid, and Nathaniel Tarn 11. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson 12. Carpentaria by Alexis Wright (out loud just because) 13. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky, translated from the Russian by Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky 14. To Bedlam and Part Way Back by Anne Sexton 15. All My Pretty Ones by Anne Sexton 16. Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates (twice, actually; pseudo-thrice) 17. Live Or Die by Anne Sexton 18. Love Poems by Anne Sexton 19. The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde 20. Transformations by Anne Sexton 21. The Book of Folly by Anne Sexton 22. Sorry by Gail Jones 23. The Death Notebooks by Anne Sexton 24. The Secret History by Donna Tartt (her second novel is number 79) 25. The Awful Rowing Toward God by Anne Sexton 26. Burial Rites by Hannah Kent 27. 45 Mercy Street by Anne Sexton 28. Words for Dr. Y. by Anne Sexton

In the break between semesters, I marathoned several TV shows (oops) and revisited a book series from my childhood. (Which, incidentally, ends in a greatly upsetting way?) That series is bookended by two novels which are companions to each other.

29. The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce 30. Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer 31. Artemis Fowl and the Arctic Incident by Eoin Colfer 32. Artemis Fowl and the Eternity Code by Eoin Colfer 33. Artemis Fowl and the Opal Deception by Eoin Colfer 34. Artemis Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer 35. Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox by Eoin Colfer 36. Artemis Fowl and the Atlantis Complex by Eoin Colfer 37. Artemis Fowl and the Last Guardian by Eoin Colfer 38. The Love Song of Miss Queenie Hennessy by Rachel Joyce

Back to school! Again, quite a few short stories and poems not reflected here. 42, 48, 49, 51, and 57 for leisure; the rest were for my courses.

39. Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë (twice, actually; making it thrice in two years, dammit) 40. The Hunter by Julia Leigh (twice, actually) 41. Bright Lights, Big City by Jay McInerney 42. Tropic of Capricorn by Henry Miller 43. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens 44. My Brilliant Career by Miles Franklin 45. Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis (twice, actually) 46. Slaves of New York by Tama Janowitz 47. Lady Audley’s Secret by Mary Elizabeth Braddon 48. My Career Goes Bung by Miles Franklin 49. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz 50. Bad Behaviour by Mary Gaitskill 51. The Bedlam Stacks by Natasha Pulley 52. The Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon 53. The Man Who Loved Children by Christina Stead 54. Simulations by Jean Baudrillard, translated from the French by Paul Foss, Paul Patton and Philip Beitchman 55. Frisk by Dennis Cooper 56. Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu (twice, actually) 57.《边城》沈从文著 58. Motion Sickness by Lynne Tillman 59. Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk (twice, actually) 60. Affinity by Sarah Waters 61. The Lost Stradivarius by John Meade Falkner 62. The Twyborn Affair by Patrick White (twice, actually)

The school year concluded, while still in Australia I read books I’d been given or chose on whims. I bought number 65 in Cairns Airport because I had nothing to read for the rest of a five-day trip; I’d started and finished number 63 during my domestic flight on day one. Clearly I’d underestimated how much I still wanted to read, having overloaded during the semester.

63. Mãn by Kim Thúy, translated from the French by Sheila Fischman 64. The Arrival by Shaun Tan (no words, only illustrations; please, please experience it for yourself) 65. And the Ass Saw the Angel by Nick Cave (it’s a Bible reference; think Southern Gothic)

Back home once more, I had access to my personal library, as well our national libraries! Although I’d embarked on a big crochet project as a Christmas present for some close family friends, I went pretty hard in the rest of my free time, which was abundant, because unemployment.

Some of these books just caught my eye on the shelf. Some have been on my To Read list for ages, because of friends’ recommendations (76 and 77, for instance) or because I figured I needed to see what the hype was all about (81 through 83, and 85 through 87). On the subject of YA fiction: no offence if you’re a fan of the genre, or indeed of these two series in particular, but to me it tends to feel like the literary equivalent of empty calories — easy reading that makes for a change of pace from books like 79, or 76. I read each trilogy in a day. Also, yes I realise I’m very late to the party; I haven’t watched the movies, either. Heh.

66. The Great and Calamitous Tale of Johan Thoms by Ian Thornton 67. The Borrowers by Mary Norton (on which Studio Ghibli’s The Borrower Arrietty is based) 68. Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie (before I went to watch the movie) 69. A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian by Marina Lewycka 70. Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones (on which Studio Ghibli’s film of the same name is based) 71. Calligraphy Lesson: The Collected Stories by Mikhail Shishkin, translated from the Russian by Marian Schwartz, Leo Shtutin, Sylvia Maizell, and Mariya Bashkatova 72. The Sage of Waterloo by Leona Francombe 73. The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman 74. The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom 75. The Book of Unknown Americans by Cristina Henríquez 76. White Teeth by Zadie Smith 77. Uprooted by Naomi Novik 78. How To Be Both by Ali Smith 79. The Little Friend by Donna Tartt (her first novel is number 24; I’ll read her third in the new year, as it demands slow enjoyment) 80. The Danish Girl by David Ebershoff 81. The Maze Runner by James Dashner 82. The Scorch Trials by James Dashner 83. The Death Cure by James Dasher 84. Jip by Katherine Paterson 85. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins 86. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins 87. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins 88. Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman

And that’s it: another year in books! Do note that thanks to my new theme, I now put updates in the sidebar about what I’m currently reading and watching, respectively. So if you’re ever curious, mosey on over, I guess.

In the new year, I’ll be creating a Goodreads account specially to complement my (admittedly infrequent) postings here. I haven’t gotten an account there previously because the star rating system seemed so reductive, but I have since realised that if professional movie critics can do it, I ought to stop being so high and mighty. Besides, I’m curious about the Goodreads community, and might want to try my hand at writing a couple of reviews, if I find the time and energy.

See you in 2018, everyone!

(Update: here is my Goodreads profile!)

#mimo reads #2017 book list

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girls-scenarios · 7 years ago

Text

#girlsscenariosanswers

1. First Kpop song you ever listened to?

Kitty: I don't quite remember but I believe it was either Gee or I Got a Boy #iconic

Nan: Nillili Mambo by Block B!

Kiwi: It was I Am the Best by 2NE1, or Fantastic Baby by Big Bang. I don’t really remember.

2. First bias/bias group?

Kitty: I think it was probably Sunny and SNSD but I can't fully remember

Nan: Zico and Block B

Kiwi: Probably Dara and 2NE1, but I got into 2NE1, f(x), and Sistar around the same time.

3. Top 5 recent songs

Kitty: Hyuna - Babe, Sunmi - Gashina, Paloma Faith - Crybaby, Sarah Close - Only You, Rake It Up - Yo Gotti

Nan: Dua Lipa - New Rules, Sunmi -Gashina, Prettymuch - Would You Mind, Dean - What 2 Do, Loona Odd Eye Circle - Girl Front

Kiwi: Sunmi - Gashina, G.Soul - Tequila, AKMU - Dinosaur, Hoody - Hangang, Primary ft. Soyou - Right?

4. Favorite album

Kitty: WJSN - Happy moment

Nan: Odd/Married To The Music by Shinee

Kiwi: Eclipse by EXID

5. How many albums do we own

Kitty: I have around 34

Nan: Between my sister and I we have about 40 albums!

Kiwi: I don't own any physical albums, I'm broke.

6. Favorite genre to write

Kitty: My favorite is definitely Au's, like any type but specifically fantasy or soulmate.

Nan: Probably fluff but smut is also fun to write

Kiwi: I like slice of life and comedy. Throw in an au of some sort and I'm happy.

7. Favorite request we’ve done so far

Kitty: I think my favorite requests were the 'Idols as...' questions, they were just so fun and interesting

Nan: I really love the Taeyeon fake texts I did but all the fake texts Ihave really loved!

Kiwi: I really enjoy doing reactions, especially for f(x). But my favorite scenarios to write are college au's, especially Sana's.

8. Our hobbies outside of writing

Kitty: I'm a video game and youtube kinda gal

Nan: I really enjoy producing music, dancing, and doing makeup.

Kiwi: I collect dolls and books, and I enjoy taking things apart and putting them back together. I fix things for fun.

9. Any tips for aspiring writers

Kitty: When you're having writers block, don't force yourself to write. You will end up with something you absolutely hate. Give yourself time, even have a break for a little while but it the ideas will come back at some point.

Nan: Don't be afraid to show other people your writing they can really help you become better, And don't give up even if you think you are a bad writer you will be able to improve I promise!

Kiwi: You'll always be your own worst critic. Practice and when you think you've practiced enough, practice some more. And don't be afraid to mimic your favorite writers. Eventually your own style will emerge, but you'll learn many things from the masters.

10. Top 5 favorite girl group choreographies

Kitty: 4minute - Love Tension, Red Velvet - Russian Roulette, Wjsn - Secret, Oh My Girl - Liar Liar, DIA - Will You Go Out With Me?

Nan: Sting by Stellar, Freak by Good Day (cover dance), First Love by After School, Rewind by Wonder Girls, I’m In Love by Secret

Kiwi: My Copycat by Orange Caramel, Kill Bill by Brown Eyed Girls, Watcha Doin' Today by 4Minute, Short Hair by AOA, and I Swear by Sistar

11. Have you ever been to a concert?

Kitty: Nope lol, England doesnt get a lot of opportunities but when they do come I'm always too late

Nan: I have been to Kcon NY 2016, Kcon NY 2017, Seventeen Dimond edge tour in NY and saw Kard in dc a few days ago!

Kiwi: Nope. Again, I'm broke. Also, I live in Colorado. Groups don’t come here on tour. I plan to go to Kcon eventually though.

12. Top 3 biases

Kitty: Sohyun (Formally 4minute), Xuan yi (WJSN), Jimin (AOA)

Nan: Hanbit (Formerly Mercury) Matthew (Kard) Hyeri (Laysha)

Kiwi: Amber (f(x)) Choa (Formerly AOA) Jeongyeon (Twice) (honestly though I'm a mess when it comes to biases)

13. Ideal type

Kitty: My ideal type is kinda all over the place, I don't actually have one. I kinda just find people attractive that I find attractive (If that makes sense lol)

Nan: I dont really have an ideal type, but i really love Tall girls and have a soft spot of bob haircuts!

Kiwi: My type is probably small girls. Short girls. As you can see by my biases, I have a thing for short hair, but long hair is good too. I like dark eyes and dark hair as well.

14. Dream job, from both childhood and now?

Kitty: I think when I was younger I wanted to be a Vet but now I don't really know, I kinda want to be a teacher but we'll see.

Nan: When I was younger I wanted to be either a doctor or a reporter, now my dream job would probably be a music producer or a politician.

Kiwi: I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was younger, but eventually I realized that I can't sew. Now I'd love to write/direct movies, tv shows, dramas, honestly anything like that.

15. Somewhere you want to visit before you die

Kitty: Soooooo many places!!! But for some reason I really want to visit Sweden

Nan: Im not really sure. I have always wanted to go to Thailand though

Kiwi: Italy or Japan.

16. One cool fact about yourself

Kitty: In the past 17 Years I moved over 10 times (I'm not very interesting omg)

Nan: I have been homeschooled since 1st grade, and I started dyeing my hair when I was 10!

Kiwi: My hair is almost 4 feet long, and super thick. It's also naturally three different colors so it changes hue in the sun from dirty blonde to auburn.

17. Favorite non-kpop song/artists

Kitty: My faves consist of Sarah Close, Frank Ocean, Melanie Martinez and a bunch of old 80s/90s artists. My favorite song right now would have to be Rake It Up by Yo Gotti

Nan: My favorite artists are Bruno Mars, Dua Lipa, and Pretty much and I think my favorite non kpop song is New Rules by Dua Lipa

Kiwi: I like Kelahni, Childish Gambino, and Tame Impala, among others. My favorite song right now is probably Sober by Childish Gambino.

18. What have you been watching recently?

Kitty: I don't watch TV shows but I've been watching a lot of youtube videos from members of the Sidemen, Miniladd, Jacksepticeye and Jenna Marbles.

Nan: I have been watching a Thai drama called Sotus which is super good I recommend watching it!

Kiwi: I recently watched the anime Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun. I'd recommend it if you need a good laugh!

19. Favorite solo singer?

Kitty: Hyuna!!!!!!

Nan: Anda or Ailee!

Kiwi: Hoody or Suran. Although Lim Kim would be a close second.

20. One thing you really want to say

Kitty: I'm sorry I don't write enough for you all, trust me I really am. It's very hard to keep up with life and this. I always have thoughts of leaving but never make up my mind. But thank you all for sticking around and supporting us, it's made this all worth while knowing people enjoy what we do. I've been here since the very beginning and it's been a long journey but it's been a lot of fun along the way.

Nan: Im sorry life has been crazy and our updates have been so sporadic but thank you so much for sticking with us and supporting everything we have done! And thank you for all the cute requests it really gives all of us a chance to show our talents and have fun!

Kiwi: I wanted to say thank you to everyone for accepting me as an admin and supporting all of us. This blog makes my day, and hearing from you guys makes me smile. Honestly life is hard, but this blog has been my pride and joy. It's made me a little more confident in my writing, and I got to meet the awesome admins on top of that. Thank you guys for giving me this opportunity!

#girlsscenariosanswers #tag #ask us #girlsscenarios

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chloe-elizabeth-price · 7 years ago

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0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 16 17 18 20 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 37 38 40 41 42 43 and 44

Wow, almost all of them, huh, @annoyinglyuniquebread? I’ll put it under a read-more as to not hit everyone with walls of text but read if ya feel like it…Okay, here we go!

0. Height

I’m 5′1 just like Carrie Fisher/Princess Leia!

1. Age

I’m 21, but my birthday is in February so pretty soon I’ll be feelin’ 22! *Dances horrendously*

2. Shoe Size

I’m a 5 in US sizes I think…?

3. Do you smoke?

I do not

4. Do you drink?

Well yes, it’s important to stay hydrated kids, my drink of choice is coke or tea…But I assume this is asking if I drink alcohol which I do not do

5. Do you take drugs?

Once again I assume this is referring to illegal drugs and not meds, I do not do any of those. However I do take antidepressants and sleeping pills for my anxiety-related insomnia/the occasional anxiety-suppressor.

6. Age you get mistaken for?

As I’m pretty short and thin (+ you tend to look smaller in a wheelchair which i occasionally use) I’d say people tend to assume I’m a lot younger than I am. If asked my age most people tend to guess around 15, or at least they did when I was in my late teens, no one has guessed my age in a while so maybe i look older these days? idk lol

7. Have tattoos?

I do have a tiny lightening bolt on my wrist, it’s a Harry Potter reference/a symbol for my general love of stories.

8: Want any tattoos?

I do definitely want more tattoos in the future, I haven’t really decided on placements yet but I know that I want a Buffy-B (a B in the Btvs-font) on my other wrist so that my two fandom tattoos can match in placements. I also want a fox somewhere and “fearless” in Taylor Swift’s handwriting to remind me of her brilliant definition of the word: (”To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.”) which I think will help with my anxiety. Those are a few of the tattoos I know that I want to get at some point, but there’s always room for more options since I really like the idea of a lot of tattoos!

9: Got any piercings?

Nope, not even pierced ears

10: Want any piercings?

Not really, no

11: Best friend?

@gay-grandma

12: Relationship status?

Single, sapphic and sad

13: Biggest turn ons?

As far as personality and little things go I’d say people who listen and respect my opinions and my view of a situation, but also aren’t afraid to say what they think/voice their opinions I guess. Also like, when people are genuine with their affection and you can tell that they just genuinely care for you I guess? Geez this sounds cheesy! As for physically, I’m gonna say collarbones…Is that weird? I feel like that’s weird…Not necessarily seeing collar bones (malnutrition isn’t sexy, kids!) but just like biting or kissing them I don’t even know! Maybe I have a few kinks too, but this is already officially TMI and I’m gonna stop………..

14: Biggest turn offs?

Bigoted or small-minded people honestly, nope not gonna interact!

16: I’ll love you if…

You respect me, seduce me with your nerdiness and/or let me introduce you to nerdy stuff (Movies/shows/books/games etc) I like and most importantly, genuinely seem to like me tbh, I don’t ask for much…

17: Someone you miss

I live pretty far away from my family for school so I find myself almost constantly missing them and my dog :( Also you and your stupidly pretty face, @annoyinglyuniquebread I can’t believe it’s gonna be so long until I get to see you!

18: Most traumatic experience?

Probably something emotionally abusive at the hands of my biological dad or his wife but honestly I’ve repressed most of it and I don’t really wanna talk about that sooooo………*shudders* Anywayyyy

20: What I hate most about myself?

Too many things to list to be honest. I’m not trying to sound negative, but I do have a lot of issues when it comes to how I view myself, but I am working on them and am hoping to be getting to a place where I can honestly say that I don’t think I suck in the near future, wish me luck!

22: What I want to be when I get older?

Author! I wanna write, write write! If ONE kid picks up a book I’ve written and it helps them in any way at all or sparks that love of stories in them that has become my own driving force, then my goal in life has been achieved!

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

Okay, so I have 4 siblings, two older sisters and two younger brothers. My relationship to my sisters are pretty much your standard sibling-situation, we grew up together and occasionally we wanted to murder each other, but most of the time we got along and now as adults we’re all pretty close even though I live far away. My brothers are a more complicated situation, due to my nonexistent relationship with my biological father I haven’t actually seen my little bros in years, I hope that we’ll be able to have some type of relationship one day, but as long as they live with dad I don’t see that as possible, although I love them and would love to be a proper big sib to them someday!

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

My mom is absolutely one of the most important people in my life, I love spending time with her and she’s the one I go to first if any problem, big or small arises in my life, we’ve always been extremely close and she’s quite simply my best friend. My step-dad (who I tend to refer to as dad most of the time) has been in my life since I was 4 and he’s more of a father to me than my biological dad (who i don’t even view as my ‘dad’ at all) ever was or could ever be. I love him with all my heart, he’s the best and one of the funniest people I know! I’d say generally I’m very, very close to both of my parents and they’re both extremely important to me and here I am getting sappy at 2AM.

25: My idea of a perfect date

Movie/Show marathon and cuddling with snacks tbh

26: My biggest pet peeves

When the cover/general appearance of a book on my shelf doesn’t match what the rest of the books in that series look like…All my books have to match if they’re part of the same series or I freak the fuck out honestly! That’s really the only pet peeve I can think of at the moment.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

I kinda really like @annoyinglyuniquebread but don’t tell her, it’d just get to her pretty head and she’d probably tease me about it and I’m shy!

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

Wow, has someone told the oversized cheeto running America that he has a giant dead cat on his head yet orrrrr…?

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend?

I can’t think of a specific situation in which I’ve done this just now, but chances are if you’re my friend I’ve probably lied to you and told you I was sick so I wouldn’t have to hang out with you that day, it’s not that I don’t WANNA hang out, I love you I promise…it’s just my very awkward introverted ass not being sure how to tell you that I need to reschedule because my social battery is drained and that I am going to physically explode if I have to be around humans for the next few days, without sounding like a hermit and/or hurting your feelings soooo…Yeah, sorry about that!

30: What I hate the most about work/school?

That it ruins the fun of learning with all those deadlines and gives me performance anxiety about stuff I’d normally be good at/comfortable with doing…

31: What my last text message says?

“Night, I love you

32: What words upset me the most?

Any type of uninformed, ignorant hate speech, when someone is being bigoted in my presence it always makes me feel like I want to scream and/or cry

33: What words make me feel the best about myself?

When people compliment my hair, clothes or writing it really makes my day every time without fail! Also when people use my chosen name and pronoun it makes me feel like I could take on the whole world on my own and win, so thank you SO much to everyone in my life who make an effort to do that every day!!

34: What I find attractive in women?

Um, everything about them, i mean have you SEEN girls??? I love being a lesbian; ladies, you’re all so beautiful I wanna squeal just thinking about it!

35: What I find attractive in men?

Them being Harrison Ford. If you are male, but not Mr. Ford I’m sorry but I’m simply not attracted to you at all and won’t date you. Sorry men, I don’t make the rules. However, if you’re reading this, Harrison from ca 1980 (why would you be?) hit me up!

37: One of my insecurities?

Too many to list again, but like I said, I am working on that!

38: My childhood career choice

Author, not much has changed, huh? I’ve actually known what I want to be since I was like 5.

40: Who I wish I could be?

A happier, more secure version of myself…Or you know Han Solo/Veronica Mars/Kim Possible, that works too!

41: Where I want to be right now?

Right at this moment I’m pretty happy here under the covers in my big comfy bed listening to Taylor Swift with my laptop in my lap and answering all these questions. Even though I’m having a pretty bad case of insomnia I feel pretty content, a little hungry tho…Think I’m gonna go make noodles and finish Stranger Things when I’m done answering these!

42: The last thing I ate

Some salted caramel chocolate a while ago, it was delicious!

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately?

Well I’d be cheating on my wife if I didn’t say Sarah Michelle Gellar, wouldn’t I? Although there are a few other candidates as well…

44: A random fact about anything

Did you guys know that @annoyinglyuniquebread aka Bella is really cute and awesome and great at holding hands? Well, if you didn’t there’s a random fact for ya!

Wow, that sure was a lot of questions, but it was fun to answer them all! Thanks for sending them, Bella

#thanks for the ask!

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