#??? since fucking when?? english is fine its not an issue?? and she didnt even fucking elaborate either

[chainsawworld]

I know it happened at break but I am still so mad

[theaviskullguy]

KAITO????

L;KHSdG;LOKJSDFHGL;JKDSFGH MY BOY MY BELOVED THE MAN WHO INDIRECTLY LED TO MY QUEER AWAKENINGS

Why I like them/why I don’t

I am the biggest fucking fan of characters with fucked up family relationships. and characters who are guard dogs. Kaito happens to be both. Off to a great start.

He has daddy issues, that's canon, but he fucking adores haruto. to the point where he sacrifices his health and morality (at least in the sub kinda). And he is very much a guard dog!! hes protective of hart and later his friends to a self-sacrificial degree. This motherfucker. hrm. i love him.

his voice in the english dub is also really fucking hot. there is no fucking way he wasnt a part of my gay awakening back when i thought i was a girl.

What I like about their appearance

Everything. like the man is Hot. that dramatic coat, the d-gazer tattoo... part of me wishes he got more than just a pallet swap with photon transformation but its fine hes still cute. I want to run my hand through his paintbrush hair.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Since theres no legal way to watch the sub and i havent been able to find it on the yar har har websites (i dont even know where to look, really), i grew up on the name kite. However, when i write him, Kaito is his full name, but Kite is a nickname (the same goes for hart! haruto is the full name, hart is the nickname)

OTP

i assume you're not counting selfshipping (if you are. me and kaito. absolutely 100%). oc ships its with my oc wynn, and canon ships? the galaxymastershippers are onto something. kaito and mizael are fucking insane i think theyve kissed Once

NOTP

Other than the obvious of kaito/haruto. kaito/yuma. i dont know why, i just. Do Not Like It. i get it, its a yugioh staple to ship the protag with the rival but i just. dont really understand dokidokishipping

OT3

I am not aware of any ot3s from zexal. however with arc v. yuto/shun/kaito. i dont know if that has a name, i just call them the xyzs trio, but its a concept ive rotated in my head a bit

Favourite card they use

I once traded an entire deck for one of his cards. I got this pack of 3 decks and i had a friend that didnt have a deck but got her hands on one of kaito's cards. my favorite one. so i asked "hey do you want one of my decks for that card", she said "yes", and i traded away an elemental HERO deck for Galaxy Eyes Photon Dragon.

Favourite moment they were in

theres so many,,,, my top 3 i think is his entrance (fucking ICONIC.), the 3v1 verses Faker, and his moon duel with Mizael. However shoutout to that one scene and i cant remember which episode its from where we see him shirtless. When i tell you younger me was replaying that scene a lot. i mean it

Least favourite moment

i know i just said my favorite was the 3v1. but its also my least favorite from a dueling standpoint. Coolness factor its through the roof but like. faker thats not how 3v1s work. you might have the combined life point total but your 3 opponents dont share life points (if they did theyd also have 12000 i believe. i might be wrong dont quote me on this), and also. this is my biggest gripe,

WHY DO WE NOT SEE KAITOS PAINS AFTER THIS. Like he still uses Photon Transformation in the future so why the fuck do we not see him with chronic pain which, by all accounts, he should have!! even if its minor like showing a cane leaning against a wall or a heating pad. Come on. give me kaito with chronic pain its canon why dont you do shit with it.

Would I smooch, marry or kill them

im marrying that paintbrush twink. youre getting wedding invitations. other galax youre my best... person. i dont know if theres a gender neutral version for best man. it will be an autumn wedding and haruto is the flower boy

[just-some-random-blogger]

hello, hottie-cutie!! good morning!! how did your live sound check go? 'wait you read genshin fanfics?' hm well.. these pretty boys.. also idk anything about ekaterina but the fact my name is in genshin?? 'i have met a bunch of hannahs in college' ive just imagined a bunch of yous looking at each other like in that spider-men meme TT 'we all call kitties in the ph mingming or muning' oooh it's cute. you can call me this hfjdjd if you want. we call cats with kiskis (hope you meant it bc idk if i got you right) 'i think it has to do with the sound they make' yeah ig every language has words that imitate animal's sounds but interpret them differently. it's a cute and amusing difference. 'i hate raising my voice' so true. since i only knew how my mom expressed anger through raising her voice, now i do it unintentionally?? so i try to just not talk.. i'm really proud of your good job at calming yourself and all. it's admirable. this world is too angry. 'i hate angriness so much.' so true. 'im so annoyed im making everything so long' it's totally fine. you have life beside tumblr and it like.. takes time. so everything's fine. take your time. it's not a job or some real responsibility to have strict deadlines. dont forget to enjoy it all! it's exciting to know youre writing modern au (ok can we say wfal? anything i'm running out of symbols TT). hope it's not overwhelming or too much. 'also ive been trying not to curse' curse *devil emoji* no but if it's your goal or kind of a challenge for yourself, i respect it and hope you'll do well. but cursing isnt really bad! it's a big part of language's vocabulary so i see it as a real crime to forbid it. 'i was checking to see if you sent me a message and i was like 'oh i didnt get a message today’ ghfjdkdj lol it's funny how i've been only sending you the message when (as i learned later) you had already got up. like it was 7:40 in philippines? 'pls dont forget i will always reply to you' TT arent you cute?? thanks TT love you TT i cant really help my anxiety but im trying to calm myself with your kind words, thanks for you patience TT 'OMG YES I GOT THE NEW CHARACTER LOOK' OMG congratulations!!! so happy for you! hes hot. rip for his weakness. yk men are just never enough, its not your fault. 'i only play it to kill the enemies and to explore AND TO GET CHARACTERS' respectable. ig enjoyment is the aim of playing games? so if you're satisfied with it it's perfect. i'm really lucky my bestie didn't continue to play genshin bc the last time she liked a game, she made me download phasmophobia... and my laptop was hardly even alive... 1) it wasnt hbo it was a fucking COMPLEX SUBSCRIPTION on a russian idk browser? it has its own system with the plenty of services including the one that gives access to hbo. it just was the one they offered me to try fro free TT 2) and they NEVER replied me. no im not crying. suddenly i've read some articles on the wiki of ice and fire and all of the english cursing words are too soft to describe this PIZDETZ. the only thought i had was imsorryimsorry. like i knew about the dance of the dragons and all but later?? i still want to read the books later but it was just... idk i was just a little shocked and A LOT regretful.. i've also just started watching helluva boss bc i've seen a lot of shorts with the dad/daughter moments that made me pour my heart out with tears. daddy issues strike bad. though i've come to hate daddy kink in a way? not screaming it's disgusting why do you want to fuck your dad way but reading a pretty fic, seeing 'tell me whos your daddy' 'oh daddy fuck me harder' and closing the tab silently way. guess my daddy issues conflicted with the insecurities about being too big and these fic's always teeny-tine sweet readers... not my type ig. sugar daddies though? yeah i liked that modern sugar daddy au yk... money sounds attractive af. hope it wasn't too much!! glad to know i bring your mood up. have a nice day!! good luck with the classes (online or offline or whatever)!! love you! take care and get some rest before the homework <з

MEOW HELLOW YOURE SO EARLY TODAY???? DID YOU SLEEP 😡

LOOK AT THIS KITTY IS THIS DREAM OF THE ENDLESS IN CAT FORM? (lol just say yes even tho you dont know him HAHAHHAH)

how did your live sound check go?

T_T it was tiring. i was supposed to work out before i left for school because i work out every other day, but i woke up pretty early and so i didnt feel like working out, and it was a pretty good choice, i think, becAUSE WE DID SO MUCH MANUAL LABOR IN CARRYING EQUIPMENT BACK AND FORTH FROM THE 6th to 12th floor T_T LIKE BIG SPEAKERS AND DRUMS AND BOXES AND H:LAHF:ASF i was sweating T_T but it was pretty enjoyable i felt like i was the main character AHHAAHHAH even though i couldnt even perform like how i secretly wanted to. T_T

'wait you read genshin fanfics?' hm well.. these pretty boys.. also idk anything about ekaterina but the fact my name is in genshin??

HAHAHAHAHA YOURE SO REAL FOR THAT ME WITH MATT SMITH FR HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH my archnemesis. also

apparently this is ekaterina T_T and idk i havent been paying attention to the lore so i think she's an extra and idk anything about her HAHAHHAAH

'i have met a bunch of hannahs in college' ive just imagined a bunch of yous looking at each other like in that spider-men meme TT

T_T LOL NONE OF THE HANNAHS IVE EVER MET LOOK EVEN REMOTELY SIMILAR TO ME but its still a pretty funny thought.

'we all call kitties in the ph mingming or muning' oooh it's cute. you can call me this hfjdjd if you want. we call cats with kiskis (hope you meant it bc idk if i got you right)

yes yes! you got it right. ITS SO FUNNY YOU CALL CATS WITH KISKIS HASHFLHASF SO CUTE KISS KISS MWAH MWAH and sure you can be my muning mingming kitty kitty cat cat <3 <3

'i think it has to do with the sound they make' yeah ig every language has words that imitate animal's sounds but interpret them differently. it's a cute and amusing difference.

HONESTLY ITS SO INTERESTING AND FUNNY TO THINK THAT SOUNDS DIFFER IN COUNTRIES T_T like frog for example is it ribbit in english T_T ???? like ok but in filipino its kokak and i think it's more correct AHHAAHAHAHAH what is it in russian

'i hate raising my voice' so true. since i only knew how my mom expressed anger through raising her voice, now i do it unintentionally?? so i try to just not talk.. i'm really proud of your good job at calming yourself and all. it's admirable. this world is too angry. 'i hate angriness so much.' so true.

omg even are moms are the same T_T generational trauma coming through T_T i made that decision because of her tbh T_T [hug] anger is so ugly bOOOO TOMATO TOMATO 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

'im so annoyed im making everything so long' it's totally fine. you have life beside tumblr and it like.. takes time. so everything's fine. take your time. it's not a job or some real responsibility to have strict deadlines. dont forget to enjoy it all! it's exciting to know youre writing modern au (ok can we say wfal? anything i'm running out of symbols TT). hope it's not overwhelming or too much.

HAHAAH WE CAN CALL IT WFAL waffle 🧇 i lof it HAHAHA

'also ive been trying not to curse' curse *devil emoji* no but if it's your goal or kind of a challenge for yourself, i respect it and hope you'll do well. but cursing isnt really bad! it's a big part of language's vocabulary so i see it as a real crime to forbid it.

😈😈😈😈 HHAHHAHHAHHH. idk cursing is kinda ugly but so fun HAHHAAHAAH i love how passionate you are to vocabulary and language <3

'i was checking to see if you sent me a message and i was like 'oh i didnt get a message today’ ghfjdkdj lol it's funny how i've been only sending you the message when (as i learned later) you had already got up. like it was 7:40 in philippines?

T_T thats so thoughtful of you tbh <3 I HOPE YOURE NOT SENDING ME MESSAGES IN EARLY-LATE HOURS T_T😡😡😡😡

'pls dont forget i will always reply to you' TT arent you cute?? thanks TT love you TT i cant really help my anxiety but im trying to calm myself with your kind words, thanks for you patience TT

<3 ur cute

'OMG YES I GOT THE NEW CHARACTER LOOK' OMG congratulations!!! so happy for you! hes hot. rip for his weakness. yk men are just never enough, its not your fault.

HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

ur so right men are never enough /: yuck

idk i wanna show you all my pretty boys T_T

this is zhong (li) i love him he keeps me safe with his shield BUT HES SO CHATTY OSMATHUS WINE TASTES THE SAME AS EVER BUT WHERE ARE THOSE THO SHARE THE MEMORY he says that ever 3 seconds so when he dies im like , u deserved it tho T_T but i love him i was so lucky when i got him i got him AND XINGQIU at the SAME TIME

this is him he likes literature i think you'd like him

tHIS IS GOROU MY PUPPY BOY HES SO SOFT AND PUPPY BUT HES SO WEAK FOR ME BUT IDC I LOVE HIM AND I WILL KEEP LEVELING HIM UP BECAUSE I LOVE HIM

yeah and you know this dude im not typing his name because ITS TOO HARD T_T

he almost fell while i was climbing a cliff T_T he ugly for that

this is diluc with his long pony tail and hes so emo i love him

ill end with bennet because i luv him he's so clumsy and canonically, people dont like hanging out with him cos he's 'bad luck' BUT I LOVE HIM T_T

he deserves the world T_T

i wanted to share mah girls too but maybe next time this is getting too long

'i only play it to kill the enemies and to explore AND TO GET CHARACTERS' respectable. ig enjoyment is the aim of playing games? so if you're satisfied with it it's perfect. i'm really lucky my bestie didn't continue to play genshin bc the last time she liked a game, she made me download phasmophobia... and my laptop was hardly even alive...

HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAAHHA i had a freind who played phasmophobia and asked if i wanted to join but horror freaks me out so i said HECK NO. WHAT IF YOU PLAY GENSHIN WITH ME HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAAH <3 <3 <3

1) it wasnt hbo it was a fucking COMPLEX SUBSCRIPTION on a russian idk browser? it has its own system with the plenty of services including the one that gives access to hbo. it just was the one they offered me to try fro free TT

ah SCAMMMMEEEERRRRRSSS T_T /: HAHHAHAH

2) and they NEVER replied me. no im not crying.

it ok u can cry scammers are heartless

suddenly i've read some articles on the wiki of ice and fire and all of the english cursing words are too soft to describe this PIZDETZ. the only thought i had was imsorryimsorry.

HAHHAAHHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHH

like i knew about the dance of the dragons and all but later?? i still want to read the books later but it was just... idk i was just a little shocked and A LOT regretful..

lol you wanna talk about it? HAHAHAH i dont really care but that blood and cheese thing, according to one girl on tiktok, you should either read about or watch and so ive been avoiding it but idc anymore tbh

i've also just started watching helluva boss bc i've seen a lot of shorts with the dad/daughter moments that made me pour my heart out with tears. daddy issues strike bad. though i've come to hate daddy kink in a way? not screaming it's disgusting why do you want to fuck your dad way but reading a pretty fic, seeing 'tell me whos your daddy' 'oh daddy fuck me harder' and closing the tab silently way.

MY JAW ON THE FLOOR HAHAHHAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH. i dont know helluva boss so i looked it up. im glad you enjoy it? do you enjoy it? DADDY ISSUES T_T you like me fr but idk i dont care about what people think about what i read like im reblogging so the writer knows how much i like it you can judge me all you want. idk i dont think i have daddy issues HAHHAAHAH i just really like the idea of a man all rugged and handsome and rich taking care of me. maybe i am mentally ill smh HAHAAHHH

guess my daddy issues conflicted with the insecurities about being too big and these fic's always teeny-tine sweet readers... not my type ig.

T_T i kiss. im luv u. youre not too big. 'too' is not real. its a social construct. you're just you and that's enough <3

sugar daddies though? yeah i liked that modern sugar daddy au yk... money sounds attractive af.

HAHHHAHAHA youre talking about that fic i reblogged right? JAJA I LOVE HTAT TOO HAHAHHAH gimme me all ur cash

hope it wasn't too much!! glad to know i bring your mood up.

not at all <3 you do bring up my mood very much

have a nice day!! good luck with the classes (online or offline or whatever)!! love you! take care and get some rest before the homework <з

<3 you too my love. i love you take care I HOPE YOURE BETTER NOW WITH YOUR FEVER AND ALL

xxx

[b0nywh0res]

hi!! so since im not active 24/7 anymore i feel like u missed a lot so little update!!

i lost most of my friends. ive had so many depressive episodes and then weird episodes where i would hate them and want them to die. so ig it makes sense but also they know that i have these episodes but wtv not everyone can handle that and i respect that. they didnt have to be such bitches abt it tho. i got them muffins as apology bc i rlly cant control those episodes and they fucking rolled their eyes at me. girl. ur acting as if ur not fucking toxic urself. at least own it omg.

L and i got sooo close irl. shes been way more touchy w me which i rlly appreciate bc its so comforting and makes me feel so much more loved than just words.

and uhm. today was the worst day of my life. i had a panic attack during english class so i left and decided to skip the next period which is allowed if ur in a bad mental state. i told a teacher and he was like okay fine but for some reason the secretary still called my mom? she was so mad bc she doesnt believe in mental illnesses and all that yk so i was too scared to go home. i told my homeroom teacher and she said that there was obv a bigger underlying issue that was causing this. i basically started sobbing and she was so kind to me and hugged me. she even started crying w me oml.

she said that one of the teachers saw me looking at pro-ana sites in class(probably tumblr i hate yall LMAO) and they told her. she wouldnt tell me who it was. if i find out who snitched i will hshdhsjdh. i fr cant let anyone know abt my ed but god i was so close to telling her everything.

she said that i dont have any adults in my life who i can rely on and that i carry way too much for a teenager. shes getting me a school therapists and tbh i dont think itll help much bc ive had a few before but shes so nice to me so ill try. idk if im ready to talk abt my ed yet but i def want to do smth abt my mood swings and everything that comes w it. its so tiring.

she couldnt rlly do anything abt my moms anger so she told me that it was just one day and that i could get through it and i would speak w her again tmr. heating her say that was a real relief ngl. my mom hasnt ever been this mad(except for that one time 3 years ago when she wouldnt allow me anywhere but the attic for 3 weeks) and its rlly scary. home situation isnt great and school isnt either but god id do anything to be at school rn.

all in all life still sucks, i love L and now im starting school therapy. woohoo.

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)

“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”

“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”

Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.

“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”

“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”

“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”

“i just hope miku’s okay...”

“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”

“please stop breathing”

Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS

XYLOPHONE RIFF

THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT

XYLOPHONE RIFF

“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”

“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”

“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”

“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”

In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.

> Tsubasa has joined the party.

“FRIENDSHIP!”

“fweindship.”

“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”

“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”

“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”

Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.

Meanwhile, at night.

Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.

“.........................hey miku......”

“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”

“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”

“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”

“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”

They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.

Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...

Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.

“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”

“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”

“wait, whats that crying”

Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.

“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”

Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.

But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.

The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.

“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”

Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.

“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”

The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.

Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...

...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.

“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”

“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”

“maybe we’re born with it”

“maybe its maybeline”

“maybeline...”

Meanwhile...

A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)

“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”

“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”

“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”

“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”

“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”

“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”

“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”

Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.

No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.

In the midst of this pain...

Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.

“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”

“damn. that’s some good piss.”

She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?

Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...

Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.

Back to Lydian:

“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”

“B. A. D.”

“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”

“yeah. you are.”

“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”

“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”

“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”

“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”

Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.

“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”

The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.

Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.

PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.

“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”

“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”

They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...

“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”

“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”

“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”

It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.

But no, instead, we get this.

Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.

The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.

Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.

The main antagonist of the series, everybody.

She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:

“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”

“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”

“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”

“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”

“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”

“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”

“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”

“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”

“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”

“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”

“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”

“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”

“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”

“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”

“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”

“LEAVE.”

“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”

[ghoulstars]

im only posting this bc i desperately need to exorcise this thought somewhere bc it wont fucking leave me alone

those of you who know me personally or follow my instagram know about this but for those of you who dont: in a horrible turn of events, our plan to put down our geriatric yellow labrador retriever dixie was unfortunately and unexpectedly doubled today to having to put down our 3 year old engam bulldog, bean, as well

when we got him in mid december, 2015 he was barely out of puppyhood, we found him wandering around near the highway at our local gas station with a collar and no tag, trying to jump into two out-of-towner girls’ car. my stepdad intervened bc they couldnt take bean with them obviously, and brought him home instead.

we put up lost dog flyers everywhere all over our very small city, in an attempt to maybe see if someone would indeed come forward for their dog. we knew he wasnt just a stray because of his collar.

almost right off the bat, we were told by a woman who worked at the gas station that there was a man who lived in the trailer park just across the road, located behind the pancake diner. you can see it from the gas station parking lot. she told us that he had a lot of dogs that he typically kept chained up outside in poor conditions, and beat them regularly. to us? it seemed totally reasonable that that must’ve been where bean came from, given the fact he was a dog and we found him literally less than 50 feet away from where this fucking man lived.

no one came forward to claim bean. we kept those flyers up for months, we only put them up to begin with knowing he may have been thrown out by (or escaped from) this disgusting man just because there was the possibility that it wasn’t his dog, but someone else’s. as well as the potential for legal intervention if this fabled abuser found out we had technically stolen his dog (and full disclosure, fuck him for what he does, i hope all his dogs get stolen like they need to be, i myself was not fond of the idea of just giving the dog back to this creep if he was indeed the owner but i was only 16 at the time so there wasnt much i could do)

with no one claiming bean, after those months passed, we decided that he was ours now. flyers were taken down, we gave him his collar and nametag, to be real he’d already been named by us in the first few days we had him. he was going to be ours no matter what; my mother always told me its a rule that if you name a stray, and do it quick before anyone can object to keeping it, it’s yours now. that’s your pet, with it’s new name.

so we carried on with our lives, now having not just one dog, but two. it was a bit iffy with my stepfather keeping bean since we didnt technically need to manage two dogs at the time, but we still did it anyways because we loved him, the little bean man.

but here’s where my problem lies and this is why im writing this now: as time went on and we continued to have bean as our pet, some stuff about the original suggestion that he belonged to an abusive older man who lived in close proximity to where we found bean wasnt adding up

due to dixie’s failing body, she would sometimes lose control of her bowels inside the house, which was becoming unacceptable when she stayed in overnight. so, she stayed outside. she and bean bonded, so they stayed outside together too. (and for clarity here, i know what some of you might want to say, but we knew very early on that bulldogs do not do well with heat or isolation. we also know that dixie probably shouldve been put down years ago, but here’s the trouble: my stepfather would not let us euthanize her. she is his dog technically, and the thought hurt him so much that he would not agree to it for YEARS. dixie and bean were too attached to separate them for long periods of time like they would be if we kept bean inside mostly and her outside mostly; that would’ve been cruel in its own special way. we put pools out for bean and visited with both dogs for as much as we could outside, bathed them, put fans out for them in the summer. our only option to give bean the main love and care he needed was, and of course we had other reasons to do this, to put dixie down, which was where we thought we were finally going to be by tomorrow, but thats not what happened, as you can tell)

as to be expected, bean sometimes found his way inside, mostly by applying his american bulldog traits to memorizing when unfamiliar guests would come over and bolt in the house. he did this enough times and very recently we were letting him stay inside instead of taking him back out, and all of these experiences combined, we noticed something: bean was housebroken. he was out of practice with it, and did not know very well how to communicate that he needed to go outside to use the bathroom, but he did know what to do. he would run to the door if he had to go, not always making it, but still, he was housebroken. he only marked furniture once while inside, in his entire lifespan thus far. that was a red flag to us, but especially my mother, who realized this skill of beans directly contradicted the statement that he was probably kept outside, chained up, starved, and beaten by the trailer park guy. not to mention, bean came to us in nearly perfect condition to begin with, just skinny. no patches of fur gone, he was the opposite of skittish and aggressive, no bruises, nothing. just a loving, bouncy, stupid bulldog mix

this, im not sure if im correct about this, but it stands out enough to me that i feel its worth mentioning: bean is not a mutt of any kind, and his breed contradicts those types of breeds most people who abuse animals come to own; usually large breeds, breeds inaccurately known for aggression, and breeds used by abusers to make aggressive bc they know the fighting power of these dogs (pitbulls, american bulldogs, etc). bean is an engam bulldog (english/american mix), which is a very obscure mixed breed dog to begin with and especially obscure where i live, and as we all know english bulldogs are short, stout, fat little things that can basically do no harm whatsoever. they also have a history of inbreeding to look how they do. i know this man may have just seen ‘bulldog’ and snagged him thinking he’d be aggressive, but that does not sit right with me for two other reasons: bean’s conformation (body structure) and coloration. there is nothing about bean that suggests he was bred to be used for fighting, or that he’s a true mutt, or anything of the sort. his body type literally resembles that of show dogs, and his fur coloration is highly unusual because he’s blue. obviously not literally blue but the type of blue-grey you can find in animals, typically seen in cats. bean’s coloration is almost NEVER found in ANY breed of bulldog, it is INCREDIBLY rare that he looks like this. his condition in which we found him, his housebrokenness, his color and his body formation lead, in me and my family’s opinion, to an alternative opinion: he belonged to someone that got him because they wanted a dog as a pet, not to beat, and they either bred him themselves or bought him (probably from a pet store or breeder) for his color and conformation. 

but why would they dump a dog this valuable? my mom said this to me earlier, sobbing after she returned from the vet today, and this is my whole reason for writing this insane fucking novel of a post: whoever dumped bean threw out a sick puppy, and on purpose.

bean hasnt been injured or contracted an unvaccinated illness or anything like that. he had been experiencing extreme stomach distension for the past month, whereas he was losing weight everywhere else on his body. he had also been vomiting. but he wasnt depressed, or lethargic. maybe his personality was a little off but not so much it was horribly noticeable, and at that, he was still eating regularly everyday. we came to the conclusion he had parasites, though ive always been terrified something more serious was going on (i dont get listened to though).

as it turns out, i was right. mom took him in today, the day before dixie was set to be put down, for his deworming pills. what she got instead was a diagnosis of possible lung cancer. his blood work was normal, which is unusual in animals with cancer, but he still had nodules on his lungs that highly resembled cancer. his heart was also severely enlarged due to heartworms, and his stomach was so distended because it was full of fluid and blood. they did send his blood off for labs, but even if his lungs were fine, he was going to die anyway (they got a second opinion from another practice and they also agree it was probably cancerous). he has a 15% survival rate for only the very first heartworm treatment, which will cost $500. nothing lives very long with an enlarged heart to begin with. we don’t have that money, and for a treatment that will definitely kill him? i dont even know why he has so much blood and fluid in his digestive tract. bean, a dog who is only 3 or 4 years old, has an enlarged heart, lung tumors and fluid/blood all in his abdomen. the vet was apparently stunned that a dog this young could have this many potentially (and one definitely) fatal health problem(s).

i now fully believe that whoever owned him before knew he had all these issues, or that he was going to develop them. i think it makes sense. i also think they’re cheap, cruel fucks who didnt want to shell out that much money to take care of him, or pay to take him to a shelter/sanctuary, and so what did they do? they did what many people these days very regularly do when their new pet has become undesirable: they fucking dumped him on the side of the road and booked it. took his nametag off and everything, to make him look like a stray. they left him for some well meaning, animal loving family like mine to find him, not know anything about these preexisting health issues, and assume he’s healthy enough; maybe just needs a few more vaccinations and a worm and flea treatment. he showed no signs of lung cancer or heart problems in all his life up until this past month, and he’s still so young. i will even go as far as to say that he himself may be severely inbred, which could be the cause of these health issues. given his specific posture and color, and that he’s a bulldog, it’d make sense. it seems like he came from some kind of breeder to begin with anyway.

so now that ive said that and got it all out of the way, i want to leave an open letter to the hypothetical cunt that did this to us and bean:

i hope god fucking strikes you down where you stand. i hope every single day of your miserable fucking life, you think about where he ended up, if he’s still alive, if anyone found him, if he ever got hit by a car or died alone of cancer and heart failure in a field somewhere. i hope you feel guilt for leaving him knowing he’d develop cancer and that he had heart worms, and knowing you did it BECAUSE of that. i hope you never fucking forget about the fact that you threw an INNOCENT LITTLE PUPPY out on the highway because you just didnt want to have anything to do with his illnesses, and i hope one day you find out what you did to us and this innocent little boy. he’s such a good fucking dog, he is so patient, kind, loving and gentle, and when he has bursts of energy to play he fucking goes, and now he has to die barely halfway through his lifespan because of your fucking negligence. he is laying outside on the porch right now, uncomfortable with fluids and blood backing up his intestines, coughing and huffing just to try and breathe. at the very least, if he were taken to the right shelter, he couldve been fucking cared for and given treatments to extend his life as much as possible, or at least given hospice care for however long he could live, which has now been shortened to 3 or 4 years. if you yourself knew this dog was inbred or you inbred him yourself, fuck you. i hope you get run over by a fucking truck. this breed can live from 12-16 years, that’s a LONG time for a dog like him, and you had to fucking ruin it all because of your own fucking preferences; you wanted the perfect dog. and you could’ve had him if you’d grown a fucking heart and actually gave a shit about animals beyond how they look aesthetically; as well, if you fucking actually gave a shit about your animals HEALTH and wanted to maintain it instead of apparently assuming he’d just be fine and healthy with all his vaccinations and that’d be the end of it. you do not deserve to own an animal if you dont even want to acknowledge it will sometimes need medical care, how fucking heartless are you? we never had enough money to take care of dixie’s failing health, and we always knew it’d be better to put her down, but my stepdad kept refusing. you had enough money to fucking breed or buy a blue show-quality engam bulldog and you still wouldnt fucking care for him after you found out what problems he had. fuck you. eat shit and die. i hope you never find peace from the guilt of knowing you fucking killed what became our dog because you’re selfish. my mother is physically sick with grief. i am physically sick with grief. i feel so bad that it’s as if i have the fucking flu. i was trying to talk with my mother about this situation earlier and i had to rush to leave because i felt like i was about to throw up if i didnt. everyone in this house has cried so much today it’s disgusting. 

the only thing good about this is that bean came along for dixie when she needed him most, and became her helper and provider, giving her company and being a literal post to lean on for when she couldnt see where she was going. they’re going over the rainbow bridge tomorrow morning together, and in a way, this is probably the best outcome. at least bean wont have to grieve. dixie can see her old companion again (who died from a ruptured tumor in 2014) and bean can meet him, and they can all play and be together in that field in the sky. 

my family will never have another dog again because of this pain this has caused us.

[angelicteeth]

hi our boys are disgusting

god fuck yeah they are 

Aristotle: He/Him - Leo - 18 - 6′4

1. What is your OC’s favorite color? blueee!!!!!!!2. Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? he loves art books! his mom used to show them to him and he’s collected them ever since. would also like to collect daggers/knives/swords bc he thinks they’re neat 3. What kind of things is your OC allergic to? nothing 4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear? ohhhh this guys 100% a metal head. leather jackets, spikes, ripped jeans, chains- necklaces and wallet, vans or boots, lots n lots of patches/pins- the whole ordeal! typically only wears reds, blacks, whites, and dark shades. muted colors. 5. What is your OC’s first memory? he was around 4 or 5 and his mother asked him to bake a cake with her, and he agreed, of course. they made a giant 5 layer red velvet cake with chocolate, caramel, and peanut butter chips in between and chocolate fudge drizzled on top/off the sides. they made a HUGE mess in the kitchen and all over themselves and he cherishes this memory so sooo much. 6. What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? black panthers!!!!! he also loves dogs a lot… he? HATES?? butterflies ???7. What element would your OC be? oh boy fire 8. What is your OC’s theme song? uhhh anything Heavy Metal9. Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? noooooo, i dont rlly like doing this edrfghu but! he has a deep voice, its warm and deep and kinda ? sultry? idk 10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC? wrath. 11. What are your OC’s hobbies? painting!!! learning about history/going to museums, annnnnnd does his bf count? LOL12. How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? uhhh relatively patient? definitely depends. he’s VERY hot-headed but doesn’t ‘explode’ often 13. What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? male, gay, and latino! he’s also human wsedrftg14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? fucking LOVES cheese??? and big warm pretzels… CINNAMON ROLLS! hates olives ??? and most fish 15. If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? he’d really want a big cat, doesn’t matter what… just a Big Boy16. What does your OC smell like? warm, cinnamon maybe but also musky and woodsy… but he sometimes just likes smelling Clean and like semi typical guy cologne ??? or just Expensive smelling cologne,,, idk he always smells really fucking good sedfgh17. How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? uhhh right Now he’s just graduated high school and issss looking for work… doesn’t really know what he wants to be, honestly. he’s still trying to figure everything out 18. What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? he fears losing completely everything he loves, specifically his boyfriend and his brother. a weakness is how hard he is on himself, and how much he isolates/pushes people away when he’s low. a strength is just how warm and caring he is. how much he loves. even if he doesn’t always see himself as strong, he is. he really, really is19. What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? h e a v y  m e t a l  h e ‘ s  a  f u c k i n g  m e t a l h e a d i havent looked too into it so i don’t know about songs, i WILL look into it at some point20. If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? he live on this hell planet, sadly 21. What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? the death of his mom… and his anger… he blames himself for her death and hes struggling hard with it, since his father doesn’t help at all and blames him, too. a pet peeve he has is people leaving doors or cabinets open, it makes him so mad dftgyhu just fucking close them 22. What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? heee was a good one ? hardest subject for him was english :/ mainly got A’s! except for english 23. What is a random fact about your OC? he cannot bake or cook anything EXCEPT breakfast foods 24. What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? he… didnt see a future until he met his boyfriend, nathan… after his mom died, so did everything else 25. What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? amber wanted to play the sims and she told me to create 2 characters but i said hey! i do one, you do one! and then we were fucking idiots and turned them into ocs dfyudfhjkl; its soooo recent that nothings changed LOL im still developing him, as i am with all of my ocs 26. Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why? nathan… he gave him a second chance at life, he gave him a reason to want to stay alive, a future. also jordan is super super important to him they bffs xoxo (edit: dan n ty also mean the world to him) at his current age… his dad. their relationship does eventually get better but right now, hes the least important but has such a big impact on him it hurts27. What kind of childhood did your character have? A GOOD GOOD GOOOOOOD ASS CHILDHOOD up until 16 it was soooo good… his moms his best friend, he n his brother hung out all the time, and his dad wasn’t so angry or drunk28. What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? he picks at his nails when hes nervous, but it doesnt happen very often so its nothing he tends to worry about. heee doesn’t stim but fucking loves paint mixing videos those are his shit uhhh no, no addictions… unless you literally count his bf wertyui29. If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? “If You Sit On My Grave I WILL Haunt You” or “Long Live The King” because he’s a stupid fucking leo30. Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? yesssssssss he wants to marry nathan So Bad sedrftyui he’s unsure about kids, though… kinda just wants a couple pets 31. What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? his mom died on his 16th birthday driving to come pick him up. anything involving nathan… doesn’t even matter what it is, he just loves him so much32. If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? his mom back33. Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? uhhh probablyyyyy not… he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he actually killed someone,,,34. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? uh he likes concerts n shit but its not like,,, a social group thing… he doesnt do that shit…35. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? very vivid imagination, is often found daydreaming when hes not painting or with his bf. not really worried, honestly, kinda just lives in the moment and doesnt give a single god damn shit about a thing except on the bad days36. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? he wants nathan the most, out of everything- and he has him… but if he didn’t he would do anything for him. anything37. What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? pees with the door open esdrtyuio38. What would your character do with a million dollars? ooohhhh spoil the shit out of nathan, get a tattoo or 2, and buy art stuff!39. What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? eggs, leftovers, milk, orange juice, bacon, butter, and syrup. a couple of canvases, paint brushes, the shirt he slept in the night before. a couple of single issue comics, the graphic novel hes reading, a bottle of water, and a tiny art canvas. random plastic, paper, maybe an empty water bottle or 240. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? out with nathan, probably on a date. ripped jeans, dark red sweater, black shirt, boots, wallet chain, necklace chain, and a single dangly earring in his left ear 41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? yell, scream, get super physical. he’s burning, he’s burning, he’s burning. make it stop, better yet, let him thrive 42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? nope! he’s clean for now43. What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? oooooh uh he says some Shit when he’s pissed, especially to his dad44. How does your character react/ accept criticism? fine? doesn’t really care about it unless its from nathan. oooor if youre just being a shithead hell tell you off45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? he enjoys it, wouldn’t mind it at all tbh46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? fuck, yeah. he’d do something stupid to it to see if it works and then display it in his room or give it to his bf47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? hellllll yeaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh. everything, anything48. What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? his mom was his best friend and the reason why he is the way he is. his dad was a good man, but now hes a stupid angry drunk who blames ari for his mothers death. its affected him positively and negatively, hes loving and passionate like his mother but insecure and doubtful because of his father49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? d o  n o t  l e t  h i m  h a v e  a  l o t  o f  c a n d y  p l e a s e 50. If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? would probably elope with nathan, do some crazy shit, and hope to god he doesn’t actually fucking die 

Jordan: He/Him - Sagittarius - 19 - 6′2

1. What is your OC’s favorite color? light green2. Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? stamps, stickers, beanies, anything aquatic-themed, and tarot cards/witchy stuff!3. What kind of things is your OC allergic to? bananas…4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear? lazy type clothes, very sluggish. lots of oversized cardigans, hoodies, and sweaters. baggy shirts, but he religiously wears jeans. likes chains but preferably small ones, and usually only wallet chains. likes wearing a ring on each thumb and if hes Feelin it a couple more! punkish basically 5. What is your OC’s first memory? spying on his brother and dad training outside in the barn6. What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? he has a giant soft spot for cows but his favorite is whale sharks!!! he doesn’t really like frogs 7. What element would your OC be? water! but with Slight fire8. What is your OC’s theme song? something slow and sad, probably 9. Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? no! his voice is soft and low, like a lullaby. very warm and comforting, but also a lil husky10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC? envy/lust/greed wsedfg11. What are your OC’s hobbies? reading, using tarot cards, organizing his stamps/stickers, watching documentaries, and making sure aristotle doesn’t do anything Stupid12. How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? he’s pretty patient but he’s also pretty hot headed. he Will lash out when angry :/13. What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? male, bisexual, white (russian/american) also a human sedryui14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? loooovvveeessss chocolate chip waffles! and breakfast foods in general. hates peas and green beans 15. If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? a cowwwww… they remind him of his mom dfghj16. What does your OC smell like? clean but ? kinda minty!17. How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? he currently works at a little bookshop/coffeeshop! he likes it but he wants to do something more when he’s graduated from college. 18. What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? his father and crickets. how emotionally attached he gets to people. how warm and soft he is, he never stops caring for others 19. What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? goth, heavy metal, sad/emo shit20. If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? he live here Binch21. What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? his whole family besides his father is dead and he’s all alone with nobody to turn to. he h a t e s crunching noises. so much. also fucking HATES when people poke holes in shit just STop. 22. What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? actually really really good, even though he looks like a fucking slacker esdrftgyhu probably got all A’s23. What is a random fact about your OC? he always has his fingernails and toenails painted black or dark red/purple24. What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? fuck man he doesn’t wanna live hes so fucking Tired his dark circles are permanent but ari makes life worth living sdfg25. What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? …once upon a time amber and i made a gang au with ari n nathan and promptly made jordan for the Shits and Giggles but it turns out i fell in love and way too deep making his character, thanks!26. Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why? aristotle, probably, because he assumes his mom is dead. least is his dad whos a fucking asshole murdering cuck27. What kind of childhood did your character have? uhhhh Not Good ill tell you that. his father only married and brought his mom to russia so she could give him kids, preferably boys. first was nikolai, second was kazimir jordan, and lastly was feliks. they were all 2 years apart, making nikolai and feliks 4, so they were all close in age and played together often. his father was most proud of nikolai but feliks had been showing signs of possibly exceeding all of their expectations. kazimir was last in everything, but he was his mothers favorite. he’ll never forgive his father for torturing him and killing everyone he loved. 28. What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? he often picks at his nail polish, or the skin around his nails. definitely fidgets with his hands often. doesn’t stim but follows a lot of soap carving and squishy videos, also likes bread/cooking ones. he’s kind of addicted to red bulls but he’s cutting back and resorting to coffee, which he drinks black29. If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? “hell’s waiting for me so watch your back”30. Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? maybe married but almost Definitely no kids. no thanks. xoxo31. What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? his father dragged him into the barns once after he accidentally spilled something over an ‘important’ paper so his father branded him with a cross on his side. his mother used to braid his hair with baby’s breath in it when theyd play out in the field, just her and the 3 boys running around, having fun. it was peaceful, bliss32. If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? to tell his mother he was sorry and that he’ll never stop loving her33. Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? no, he’s seen what killing someone does to people34. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? i dont really like this question edrtyu35. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? hes so tired all the time hes often in the clouds, never really focusing. daydreams a lot to make it through each day, pretending hes someone hes not. hoping that his mother is actually still alive, and that he doesnt have to keep reliving memories. they wont stop fading, he keeps getting them jumbled. he just wants to make more with her, be with her one last time36. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? his moooooooooom, he’d do anything for her37. What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? he has to turn door knobs twice before actually opening a door 38. What would your character do with a million dollars? that’s so overwhelming to him but probably pay off college shit sdfghj debt is So Scary 39. What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? yogurt, water bottles, red bull, orange soda, and some strawberries. a pair of jeans and boxers and random books hes checked out from the library. a half empty can of red bull, the book hes currentl reading, a beanie, and a cute little jar of jelly beans ari got him. garbage can has crumbled up balls of paper, empty red bull cans, empty bottle of soda, and an old textbook.40. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? probably aristotle and nathan to a concert/out to eat. wears black jeans, a baggy red and black striped sweater with a black shirt underneath, boots or vans, and prolly a wallet chain + his thumb rings41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? he screams and yanks on his hair fgyuhlj;k42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? heee has a cross on his side, and a few Light scars on his face- over his bottom lip, on his forehead and on the left side of his cheek/jaw. a couple on his back and arms as well most of them are from his father…43. What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? he’s never said anything Out Loud but in his head he says shit all the time dxgfhgjhjlio hes a snarky son of a gun44. How does your character react/ accept criticism? he will go home and Cry about it later 45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? eh its Ok46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? hes pretty paranoid about it and probably shows it to ari like ‘bitch what the FUCK’47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? he doodles mindlessly when hes bored in class 48. What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? uhhhh his dad is a big Cuck but his mom is an Angel and the best person he’s ever met. this has fucked him over hard bc hes father took her away from him and now he has nothing left so hes an anxious, paranoid Mess49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? he l o v e s candy pls50. If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? Kill Him Now

Tyler: He/Him - Pisces - 22 - 5′7

1. What is your OC’s favorite color? baby blue and pink!2. Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? nail polish, lamb stuffed animals, comics, seashells, and washi tapes 3. What kind of things is your OC allergic to? nothin4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear? he likes soft colors, pastel. sweaters are his favorite but he also likes long sleeved shirts. dresses pretty feminine, isn’t a fan of dark colors on himself unless its his boyfriends clothes5. What is your OC’s first memory? when he was around 4 or 5 he was riding his bike when he hit a rock and went flying forward, causing him to scrape his knees and his nose to bleed 6. What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? l o v e s  l a m b s and snails, doesn’t really like salamanders 7. What element would your OC be? w a t e r 8. What is your OC’s theme song? something soft and not too upbeat 9. Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? he has a very smooth and kind of feminine voice ? but its masculine enough to not misgender him,,,10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC? envy???11. What are your OC’s hobbies? painting his nails, drawing/sketching, reading comics and graphic novels, watching documentaries, and journaling!12. How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? very patient and rarely hot headed, gets more agitated or annoyed 13. What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? male, gay, white human boy14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? would Die for milkshakes he loves them so fucking much, isnt a big fan of hamburgers/beef in general 15. If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? a lamb or sheep he is so infatuated with them. they are so so soooo cute 16. What does your OC smell like? strawberries and cream!17. How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? heee currently works odd hours at a gas station, it’s definitely not his dream job but its not super awful… most of the time. he wants to go to art school, actually, to learn to make jewelry and to learn how to do more with his art18. What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? abandonment and ultimate loneliness. he’s really self conscious but he loves with all hes got and he loves so much, and so hard19. What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? bubblegum pop, kpop, jpop, and some indie music!20. If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? he here 21. What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? he’s self conscious and in recovery for self harm/an eating disorder but he’s doing really well! its still hard but he’s pushing through… he hates having chipped nails drftugyihuo as soon as one chips, even a little, he repaints them as soon as he can22. What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? he was a nerd he got straight A’s and actually enjoyed school kinda erdtfyuio but only because he loves to learn, not the actual people or atmosphere 23. What is a random fact about your OC? is really interested in astrology and loves reading his horoscope 24. What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? he’s honestly trying to still figure that out but the more time he spends with his boyfriend, the more he wants to live and have a happy future with him25. What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? amber made dan, dan needed a love interest, tada!26. Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why? daaaaaannnn, his boyfriend, nathan his best friend (+ari)  annnnnnd uh ? nobody really ??? 27. What kind of childhood did your character have? he had a pretty alright childhood, kind of lonely…28. What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? plays with his ears if he’s super nervous, really fucking loves slime to stim and help him calm down- or chews on something29. If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? something gay, probably 30. Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? yes and yes!!! he wants to get married and have a family with dan :331. What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? dan got into a bad bar fight once, he was having a shitty day and the guy was being an absolute douchebag asshole and tyler wasn’t there to help him or stop him and it was just… bad… once dan took him to a petting zoo to meet and pet some sheep and he cried because it was quite possibly the nicest thing anyones ever done for him and then the dumbass also set up a picnic for afterwards and he fucking bawled again stupid gay saps32. If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? the funds for college esdrtf33. Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? nope he is a soft crybaby 34. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? i dont LIKE this fucking q smfh35. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? he daydreams a lot, yeah, and hes almost always worried because his anxiety is an absolute bitch but hes working on it36. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? he just wants dan and to go to art school37. What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? he has to say goodnight to all of his stuffed animals before bed every night sdfgfgghj38. What would your character do with a million dollars? a r t  s c h o o l39. What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? strawberries, mangos, chocolate almond milk, leftover food from a restaurant he went to with dan, and some chocolate syrup. nothing, he has to keep his room clean always. nightstand has a graphic novel and book hes currently reading, a note/poem from dan with a small lamb he got him, and a bottle of peach tea. 40. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? somewhere really really fancy with dan! he’d wear a cute suit, a white one with a pastel yellow button up shirt and a black tie. wears the necklace dan got him and probably a few dainty rings that match well together/when layered 41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? he cries. a lot. he gets really overwhelmed when he’s angry, and tends to scream or yell42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? on his arms from self harm, his hips as well… 43. What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? he doesn’t like saying rude things44. How does your character react/ accept criticism? uhhh if he asks he’ll probably take what the person says into consideration but if he hasnt asked, he’ll get mad/sad 45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? he like it46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? he gives it to dan rdyftugyhio47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? s e n d  h i m  t o  a r t  s c h o o l  p l e a s e48. What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? err his parents were kind of absent a lot, they traveled so much for business that he was often alone, only himself for company. his mom was loving, for the most part, when she was home. she got drunk quite often, though, but that just made her more giggly and unfocused. his dad… was hard on him, kinda abusive. often ignored him, honestly, unless it came to school and ‘being a man.’ he can be very distant at times, and self isolates often… yet he’s afraid of being alone, he doesn’t want to be abandoned, so he loves the wrong people, stays with the wrong people, because it seems right. if they stay, ill be okay, even if im still crying. even if it still hurts 49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? he does like candy! gets sugar rushes sometimes sdrftugyu dan finds it so fucking cute bc he’s so hyper and giggly 50. If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? oh please don’t stress him out like that…

Alexander: He/They - Virgo - 24 - 6′0

1. What is your OC’s favorite color? dark purple2. Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? swords, dragons, and bookmarks3. What kind of things is your OC allergic to? dairy and bees4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear? what he actually has to wear differs from what he personally likes. his father is the king so because of that, he often has to wear a lot of suits/prince attire. but personally, when he doesnt have to be Prince, he likes to wear dark and comfy clothes, a lazy emo5. What is your OC’s first memory? he vaguely remembers aster being born and wanting to help his mom take care of her 6. What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? dragons!!! doesnt have a least favorite??? maybe mosquitos 7. What element would your OC be? hhhhh water 8. What is your OC’s theme song? something heavy and dark9. Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? he has a charming n husky kinda voice !10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC? greed or envy11. What are your OC’s hobbies? fighting, taking care of dragons, making rings, and reading historical books12. How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? he’s been trained to be patient, for the most part, but when he’s passionate about something he tends to get hot-headed sometimes 13. What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? non-binary, bisexual, he’s an alien so he’s kinda pinkish… same color as aster but a little lighter 14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? loves seafood… isn’t really into eggs 15. If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? he Has his dream pet, a dragon, so he’s Good16. What does your OC smell like? woodsy and clean 17. How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? he’s a prince but he works with dragons a lot!!! it’s his Dream… or to sell his rings 18. What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? commitment, losing his family, and sharks. he gets too lost in his head at times, distances himself from everyone. he’s physically very strong and a charming/calm guy by nature 19. What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? he’s not the biggest music guy but enjoys rock/alternative/emo stuff20. If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? curious about everything, goes into almost every shop he can find and tries out so many different foods…21. What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? his last relationship was Bad and he’s still very much affected by it… he hates wearing socks to bed dfyguh it annoys him so much22. What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? excellent, top of his class23. What is a random fact about your OC? he loves tattoos and would love to be covered in them one day 24. What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? currently, his outlook is very bleak dxfyuibj he’s really sad,,,25. What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? i gave aster siblings and then slowly developed him in my head!26. Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why? his family, specifically his siblings, anddd his ex boyfriend still haunts his almost every thought and action :/27. What kind of childhood did your character have? good!!! he and his siblings did so much stuff together dxfghjkl; i Love them28. What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? twists his rings a lot or shakes his leg when he’s nervous. doesn’t stim 29. If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? fuck, man, i have no fucking clue and neither does he30. Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? currently, no31. What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? his ex boyfriend tried to kill him once. he relives that memory almost everyday, and hates himself for not telling anybody about it. his siblings always know how to cheer him up, which he’s soooo grateful for. the 3 of them went to an amusement park once and just had so much fun, eating waaaay too much and going on all of the rides 32. If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? happiness33. Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? er probably wouldn’t but if it was his ex… he would reconsider 34. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? his dads the king, hes a prince, so he often finds himself at balls or parties and pretends to be super charming and openly available for marriage, even though he doesn’t want it and his younger brother will most likely take the throne instead35. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? he never stops living in daydreams or memories and would like it all to just. stop. let him b r e a t h e36. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? peace. he wants everything to stop, he wants his head to stop convincing him somethings wrong when hes fine and he wants his thoughts to stop wants the voices gone.37. What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? he sucks skittles and starbursts for a long ass time before actually eating them…38. What would your character do with a million dollars? donate it all 39. What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? nothing dfhgjk he hasn’t restocked it yet,,, probably some clothes and random books lying around. uhhh probably some alcohol, candy, and a map. crumpled up paper and wrappers in his garbage can40. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? uh probably alone and to get wasted or high,,, doesnt matter where :/41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? self isolates and simmers in his anger, throws shit and screams because hes so mad/frustrated 42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? theres some cigarette burns on his thighs from his ex, a couple on his back and arms/legs from either fighting or his ex… there’s probably more but id have to think a lot more on his ex and stuff, which i will do eventually!43. What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? towards the end of his relationship he probably said some harsh things to his ex44. How does your character react/ accept criticism? fine unless its super personal to him, then it reminds him of his ex and he cant focus on anything, he shuts down45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? inhales it. please feed him46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? stares at it for so long.. would probably carry it with him always dsfgjkl;47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? he things drawing buildings is super relaxing…48. What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? very loving! hes very grateful for them and how supportive they are, even if its unconventional to being next in line for the throne. they just want him happy more than anything49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? he loves candy, shoves it in his mouth so fast estrytuyul he only gets sugar rushes if he binges on candy around others??? never when hes just munching on it alone50. If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? i cant say he’d be entirely mad at his current state… would probably say his goodbyes and then just wait, or wander around waiting 

[myfucking-illusion]

its a big VERY BIG text about me venting, pls skip it, im writing one more of this bc i have a lot to say but you can skip it, im sorry for putting this giant shit on y'all dashes, im sending love for all of you in return <3

I promised myself i wouldn't talk about it, bc it didnt bother me that much, but the truth is it does, it bothers me a lot, but i feel like a burden whenever i dare to talk about it with anyone.

so i am here, as always.

it´s utopic to believe that this day wouldn't arrive - even though i did believe, it´s even more utopic to believe that i wouldn't be sad, of course i would, i am and i should. perhaps it´s some kind of ending cycle? i dont know, yet i believe in ending cycles and shit, but i doubt it has anything to do with that. i feel like my life is worse, it is going to be worse and this is the beggining of it. i could be wrong. i hope i am.

well, anyone but me could (and probably will) call this a big drama show, which isn't a complete lie, it kinda is too dramatic, but i like being dramatic, it's within me, i am a drama queen even though i hate to admit (this is a secret, it's the first and last time i'm admiting this shit)

she grew up with me, by my side, listening to all my problems and i listened all hers, we were there for each other since the beggining, we believed it would last forever but it seems like the forever has arrived. it´s been 2 years that we are living a part, it´s 5 hours to get to her city and i can't go there alone, although i am 20 yo (and so is she) i still depend on my parents bc im unemployed, so i travel to see her when my parents let me, which is rarely, she traveled to see me once (and keep rubbing it in). Last time we saw each other was jan/2020, before the pandemic starts, her birthday was in may and she got really mad at me that i didn't travel to see her, i tried to explain that i wasn't leaving my house for anything, besides my parents would never let me travel to another city in the middle of a global pandemic, to this day she still doesnt understand this.

however this isn't the first nor the worst thing she has done to me, i think our relationship got shaken up the day i realized she was trying to fuck me up, another friend of mine (who knows us like forever, but she doesn´t like this friend god knows why) warned me that she always manipulates me, that´s why i dont have any friends besides her, that's why i believe so strongly that i'm not able to have any other friendships, bc she always finds a way to make me fight with the other person and have my attetion all to her again (i don't actually believe that, bc c'mon... im not THAT interesting or pretty or whatever for ppl to be obssessed with me, but anyway..).

the worst thing i believe she did was poisoning my relationship with my boyfriend (i'm going to tell everything, im so sorry but i really need to vent and it helps me practice my english skills lol i hope no one is actually reading it) when we started dating (sep/2019) she went to his DMs and said a lot of weird shit about my family being formal people (?), which isn't true at all, and about my past, some stuff that a best friend shouldn't tell her soul and she told my 1-day-boyfriend, bc of that he (obviously) got triggered and it started a vicious, toxic cycle that she kept feeding until i told him to block her, after that it took us almost a whole year to find a way out of that cycle, now we are fine, recovered and they hate each other to the soul. from there on our friendship was never the same, i was so intrigued to know why the hell she did that and kept doing it, but she never gave me a proper answer, it was ALWAYS something like "it was for your own good, this guy isn't right for you, he is going to hurt you, i'm protecting you, i'm sorry you didn't like it but i was thinking about your safety, what if he was going to kill you?" i'm not joking, she did say those things more than once for me, ofc i know it was a big load of bs, i know the guy i'm with and altough we had some ugly problems he is not a criminal, he had issues which given the situation was understandable (now that i know everything that happened).

im sorry about this big text but theres another one coming lol im really sorry

[lattetae]

get to know me [pt. 21345789] tag 

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

tagged by the following sweeties : @puppytae @blumiin @kookmiinie @taeonie

i’ll tag [optional as usual] : @lovekyg @winktaes @donghunny ok i quit i don’t wanna bother 20 people lol but here are some new mutuals so hi!! obvs you don’t have to do this but i just wanted to show recognition! 

THE LAST:

1. drink: coffee

2. phone call: my mum

3. text message: ‘hows it hangin’ @ my friend

4. song you listened to: smooth operator - g.soul (he also just came out with a new hit n it was really good but like…idk i didnt hear as much of his nice voice as i thought i would?? maybe his style is changing since he left jyp idk)

5. time you cried: yesterday

6. dated someone twice: no

7. kissed someone and regretted it: no

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: all previous pets :’(((  

10. been depressed: i was depressed throughout high school and i think im better now thanks to leaving the shitty 12-16 education system. looking back on how i acted back then is like looking at a different person. but sometimes…i think we just pretend to be happy right?

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: im teetotal, although my sister constantly reminds me that i won’t stay like this for long. 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: fawn, mustard, light green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. made new friends: do tumblr buds count? if so - yes. :))) 

16. fallen out of love: no

17. laughed until you cried: yes! 

18. found out someone was talking about you: no 

19. met someone who changed you: people do change us but i don’t meet many lol i need to get out more? 

20. found out who your friends are: i guess i always knew….maybe i need more

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: fb is still breathing???

GENERAL:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: n/a

23. do you have any pets: two cheeky little fancy mice and one mischievous red cavapoo

24. do you want to change your name: i think everyone hates their name when they’re young, i always yearned for my name to be something different - ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’. but given the compliments that i get on my name now, i think i have grown to like it :)))

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i went to a chinese restaurant with my parents and my older brother. we had a huge vegetarian banquet (ahhh i hate wasting food so i tried to eat fucking loads lmao). 

26. what time did you wake up: 9.45am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching a girl and three sweetheart - i loved it at first but you know when the storyline just slows its pace in the middle jfdskgfhg i’m like just get together already!!!!!

28. name something you can’t wait for: i need to make a phone call to sort a work placement out n the worry is at the back of my mind 24/7 so i can’t fucking wait until i have made that damn phone call. i’m procrastinating; i hate phoning :((

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like 1hr ago? she was watching the great british menu lol she loves her cooking programmes (in contrast to me). i think she secretly dreams of working in the catering industry again.

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish that i had more confidence, i think that is the main thing that prevents me from achieving so much more. i doubt myself and i can’t do basic tasks with ease (such as making phone calls or even trying to get a weekend job). in that way, i think i’m such a failure lol. 

31. what are you listening right now:  E66S 卵 - I know where I’m going

32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes (i appreciate the randomness) 

33. something that is getting on your nerves: my own thoughts afhkdsfh just stfu

34. most visited website: youtube

35. mole/s: arms n like a couple on my leggos

36. mark/s: tuan? lol nah i dont have any marks

37. childhood dream: i used to want to be a detective blessss

38. hair color: brown 

39. long or short hair: short

40. do you have a crush on someone: no

41. what do you like about yourself: i make decisions with my heart not my head. a lot of people would call that a weakness. not me lol

42. piercings: three. 2 on one lobe and 1 on the other. i rarely wear rings though bc i can’t fucking get my ball closure rings shut!!:((( i gave up long ago damn i forgot they even existed

43. bloodtype: my parents are both O so i’m guessing that i am an O too…or something went wrong lol 

44. nickname: saff, saffy

45. relationship status: single n ready to– stay single forever

46. zodiac: gemini

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite TV Show: six feet under is so good omg like i can rewatch that shit ughhhhhh i can’t recommend enough its just so realistic n deals with issues like death and relationships and internalised homophobia and depression and nymphomania and growing up and growing old. it. is. a. good. one. 

49. tattoos: i want some

50. right or left hand: right hand

51. surgery: i had a partial nail avulsion a couple years ago and it was a wild experience (which involved looots of waiting) but the nhs did me proud in the end :)) the doctor asked me what my fave band was (p!atd) and so he played a playlist of mvs on his little computer screen and all the nurses were reacting to it. 

52. piercing: same

53. sport: what is a sport lol no thx

55. vacation: japan

56. pair of trainers: i don’t own any trainers fkhdjg

MORE GENERAL:

57. eating: avocado skins are next to me - need more clues?

58. drinking: on my way to make another coffee

59. i’m about to: make a coffee

61. waiting for: my life to begin

62. want: to go grocery shopping soon

63. get married: i often romanticise marriage but i know that it has caused my mum to be trapped in her current one so yeah, that’s gonna be a no from me dawg

64. career: veterinary nurse – pls pray that i get all my grades bc im very worried at the moment :(((( 

WHICH IS BETTER?:

65. hugs or kisses: hugs bc they are rare and usually make me cry

66. lips or eyes: ?? both??

67. shorter or taller: taller

68. older or younger: someone with an old soul, but not necessarily old in age

70. nice arms or nice stomach: arms? idc

71. sensitive or loud: both at the same time

72. hook up or relationship: soulmate :’)

73. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. kissed a stranger: im sure that i have kissed a strange dog..or rather it invaded my mouth with its tongue ajfhsdkfj does that count

75. drank hard liquor: no

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: who tf loses glasses - no

77. turned someone down: no

78. sex in the first date: no

79. broken someones heart: no

80. had your heart broken: im 17 ffs no lmao 

81. been arrested: no but i got detained in urban outfitters for stealing a ring when i was in high school hahahah. the security guard ran after me and my then friend and dragged us behind into some room and took mugshots on his phone. he then raided our bags… damn he was awful but luckily my friends mum came to pick us up or he said he would take us to the police. then we were banned from the shopping mall for a year and banned from all urban outfitters for 3 years! i havent been in since lmfao

82. cried when someone died: i had to go to a funeral for someone that i didn’t know and i ended up crying because of the atmosphere you know? also of course i have cried at all my previous pets deaths. 

83. fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. yourself: i like to think so but no i don’t aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i hate myself for doubting myself so much

85. miracles: no

86. love at first sight: no

87. santa claus: of course ;)

88. kiss in the first date: is that even a belief?? i think that it is fine.

89. angels: eg. kim taehyung

OTHER:

90. current best friends name: ginny

91. eyecolor: brown

92. favorite movie: one of my faves is the man from nowhere. it is a korean thriller and a must-watch. one of my favourite english movies is jarhead, because apart from the fact that i love jake g, i also love the theme so much. i think it makes for some really interesting conversation. 

[itslovewithyouthings]

BLOG TOUR – Ready For His Rule by Angel Payne @AngelPayneWrtr Captain Jo… https://ift.tt/2YKbThj

BLOG TOUR – Ready For His Rule by Angel Payne @AngelPayneWrtr Captain John Franzen. Inside the lines… It's the definition of life for Tracy Rhodes and she has no choice about that. Lines–lots of them–are what happens when one is sworn in as second-in-command of the free world. But the lines are crushed beneath the boots of Captain John Franzen assigned as a special advisor to her security team for a high-profile event in Vegas. The towering warrior with the haunted stare shatters her composure invades her libido and makes her yearn for things she shouldn't. Sweaty illicit things…with her body pinned beneath his… Outside the boundaries… John Franzen six and a half feet of rigid composure on the outside is a lost man on the inside. Why the hell is he even alive? A guy isn't supposed to survive eleven years in Special Forces especially after the crazy missions he's been assigned. Accepting the security gig in Vegas is just a favor to a friend–a way to fill time that's become too damn empty lately. Until the cushy "babysitting job" becomes the most treacherous mission of his life–and the politician he's protecting becomes the woman in his bed. The lover beneath his bonds… The submissive he longs to claim forever. Breaking all the rules… She's destined for marble halls and an oval office. He's wired for dirt and violence. Will her passion be enough to tame his demons…to claim the ultimate wild boy as her own? AMAZON UShttp://amzn.to/2ndKY9i AMAZON UK I iBOOKS I NOOK I KOBO He pulled back watching his hand curl on itself in midair. He thought of all the damage that fist had done to so many shitheads and losers over the years but was now a symbol of utter helplessnessinches from a person he was aching to help. Fate was getting in all its best taunts today. His spirit hadnt agonized this much even when the news about Nichols had come out. And the pain in this stall is about youhow? Easy answer. It wasnt. But no way in hell was he leaving her in here all but drowning herself in several senses of the word. If she ordered him all the way out of the shower then hed abideand simply sit on the tile outside. One puddle for another; no difference to him physicallybut he would stay here for her whether she asked for it or not. Even if it fucking killed him. For now he chose to simply settle back on his haunches. Nearly as an afterthought reached and cranked the spray off. In the eerie silence after Tracy joined her quiet sniffs to the heavy drops of the draining water. John re-balled both his hands hating even the inches between them. To not even touch her let alone resist the baser need to clutch her close Fuck. Waterboarding had nothing on this shit. And the worst part hadnt even sunk in. Shes just following your lead asshole. That was the worst part. In protecting her from his secret side hed been locked out of her secrets too. In shielding her from his darkness shed made sure he stayed right therein the dark. Away from the ability to even give her some light Moron. You. Same sentence Keoni John Franzen. Finally she snuffled with more determination. Jerked up her head a little long enough to slide him a furtive side-eye but nothing more. She pulled her hand all the way back in tucking it beneath her chin as she settled her head against the wall again. I want to talk to Craig. A brutal exhalation left him. His throat tightened. His chest compressed. Hell nothing was comfortable. Nor was it meant to be. I know you do he murmured. Imscared. Screw uncomfortable. Everything was agonyespecially when she wouldnt even let him do anything about it. No. When hed pushed her away out in the bedroom letting her walk away with the impression that he wouldnt do anything. I know you are. At least he had words. Paltry proxies but theyd have to suffice somehow. I have no idea what to do. But you dont have to figure it out alone kuuipo. Her face contorted again though not with impending tears. Her eyes flared with irritation. Dont call me that. He barely repressed a grin. Youre gorgeous when youre all hissy kitten. Yeah? Well I have Tigress claws remember? Fine fine. He held up both hands. Maybe you just want maam again? And maybe you just want me to hunt down a flattening iron. His chuckle was impossible to tame. Her glower went from simmering to smoky. He had no idea there were so many nuances of gray. In her eyes they were all fascinating. Maybe you can just close your eyes and pretend Im Craig. The offer was sincerehe was up for any creative solution herebut her laughter high and biting was nowhere near a vote of approval. Thats so not going to happen. He frowned. Why not? Because Id know the difference. How? John. Her laugh mellowed to a watery eye roll. He suddenly knew how Luke must feel when a test wasnt studied for. Id know the difference between you and any other man. And just like that no more feeling like her teen kid. Feeling everything like the jerk whod probably made the biggest mistake of his life with her earlier and would spend the rest of his mortal days cussing himself out for it. Fuck. Might as well start now. Kuuipo. Her tigress side flared in a swift snarl. What didnt you understand about not calling me that? And what dont you understand that Im only here to help? The backlash his higher ground pick of a reply was still better than choice two: smashing one hell of a kiss on her feisty lips. It slipped. So skewer me. Her regard softened. Its okay. Justbe careful. Now he was the one clinging to his scowl. You dont even know what it means. I can guess by your tone. And thats a bad thing? When your voice alone makes me want to come over there and maul you? Yeah. She glanced again letting her stare linger longerto his intense pleasure. More intense than he wanted to admit but couldnt deny. Not when the heat from his skin met the wetness of his clothes and created a new experience for him. Steam Bathin SenSurround. Tracy. He heeded her requestthe tone was new; perhaps the first time hed ever used it outside a bondage dungeon beforethough its replacement was just as merciless. Perhaps more so. He issued her name as a declarationa command. Nothing hed ever use on his battalion members because this asked for a different kind of obedience. No. Demanded it. What? Shed dropped her head but lifted it again. Her eyes had turned huge as a pair of London moons. Do youwantto maul me? For the first time since hed crawled in here her body loosened. She opened up a little still staring with the moon in her eyesonly now joined by the comets in her energy. Untamed rogue cometsall aimed his direction. Want isnt the word Id use. Flames licked the edges of her voiceand now the length of his cock. Fuck how this woman got to him. How her spirit and sass challenged him. How her desire affected him Tracy. He didnt hesitate about wielding the dungeon command now. Doubly deep three times as severe. Wh-what? Oh yeah. He also liked it when her defiance wobbled a little. What would it be like to make it shake a lot? Get over here and maul me. USA Today bestselling romance author Angel Payne has been reading and writing her entire life though her love for romances began in junior high when writing with friends on "swap stories" they'd trade between classes. Needless to say those stories involved lots of angst groping drama and gooey kissing. She began getting a paycheck for her writing in her twenties writing record reviews for a Beverly Hills-based dance music magazine. Some years various entertainment industry gigs and a number of years in the hospitality industry later Angel returned to the thing she loves the most: creating character-based romantic fiction. Along the way she also graduated with two degrees from Chapman University in Southern California taking departmental honors for English before writing five historical romances for Kensington and Bantam/Doubleday/Dell. Angel found a true home in writing contemporary-based romances that feature high heat and high concepts focusing on memorable alpha men and the women who tame them. She has numerous book series to her credit including the Kinky Truth series the Secrets of Stone series (with Victoria Blue) the W.I.L.D. Boys of Special Forces series and the acclaimed Cimarron series. Temptation Court a new series being launched through the Dark Nights Discovery project debuts in 2016. Angel still lives in Southern California where she is married to her soul mate and lives on a street that looks like Brigadoon with their awesome daughter and Lady Claire the dog with impeccable manners. When not writing she enjoys reading pop culture alt rock cute shoes enjoying the outdoors and being a gym rat. FACEBOOK I TWITTER I WEBSITE I NEWSLETTER Blog Tour

[

BLOG TOUR – Ready For His Rule by Angel Payne @AngelPayneWrtr Captain Jo… https://ift.tt/2YKbThj

[leenuwoes]

170804 Snuper Fansign

The venue seemed so intimate to me, it was in a small theatre... I went to my spot (I was #91/100) and I started panicking because there was no wifi so I couldn't look up how to say anything anymore at the last minute... These two Japanese girls Kaylen and I met at the store to buy the albums for the sign both got in! They said hi to me and were so excited but really sad Kaylen couldn't come.... There were lots of other people we knew there, mostly Japanese fans we met at music shows honestly. At first I thought being #91 was bad but I think it helped me because I could see how everything played out before actually doing it myself. I got really nostalgic because they were playing Back:Hug and I listened to that on repeat on the plane to Korea and then there I was, meeting those guys....

When they came in my heart almost burst... like the feeling of "I'm going to get to talk to them oh my goddddd".... I would die for all of them... I couldn't believe it was actually happening. Also I got really tripped out because I imagined them sitting in a certain order and THATS HOW THEY WERE SITTING!! Incredible

I was sitting at the back so they were kinda far away but Sangho and Sebin were right in my line of sight. Woosung talked a lot before it started, and I kept getting distracted by Sebin because he is just... so good and he looked so damn fine as well with a lowcut shirt and necklace and pushed back blonde hair Ugh

As I looked away from Sebin I noticed Sangho was... staring at me...? And when I caught his eye, he smiled ;; so ;; big ;; and I waved and he waved back and I legit had to break the eye contact after a few seconds because I was so flustered fuck... after, a girl beside me yelled at Sebin and he looked a winked a bunch of times and I caught it on vid and since she was right beside me it looked like he was looking into my camera too Bye

Then I recorded my friend getting his signs and at that point I noticed that no one had given them any cute gifts like things to wear on their heads? And I had prepared something for all of them whoops so I was like Uh

While I was watching I felt very disturbed by how much time it seemed like people had with them, and also I was nervous because you have to line up like 10 people in advanced in front of everyone leading to the stage I was sooo nervous fuck

So finally they got to my row, so I went and lined up, and luckily my friend was right in the section in front so he was being really encouraging to me, like being silly and dancing to the music to me, and he also took some pictures of me lol so I felt really grateful for him...

Here are my fanaccounts for the members!

Taewoong

He was so soo sweet ;; Really really smiley in a very cute way. Our interaction was so awkward at first, he was asking me who Justine was (like if it was me or a friend) but I thought he was trying to figure out the age hierarchy between us, so there was a little miscommunication lol but that got figured out quickly. My friend who's been to about five of their fansigns told me he's always first because he's good at calming people down, and honestly its true. He's really easy going and playful, and a tonnnnn of fun. He spoke a lot of cute Korean to me, mostly just a few words here and there, of course he's smiling the whole time, and when I gave him his gift (a little bow clip with a spring and butterfly attached to it) he was like "Oh thank you!" (eng) and he was going to take it but I asked if I could put it on for him because I've always wanted to try that Whoops so he let me!!! And god it was so cute to hold his little head and I put it on the top of his head god I wanted to die (I could tell his hair was really crusty tho rip stop dyeing it). So then he started signing my page, and I looked down and... he was holding my hand... and I know that's normal but I was so taken aback because I didn't remember when he took it LOL and  Okay so I was... Really surprised to see he has.... very veiny, manly looking hands and he was wearing a lot of rings I........ and also he had a lot of stubble on his face too Okay! Anyways he answered my post it out loud in such a cute voice frick and honestly it was over so fast I was kinda sad I didn't have time to do/say everything that I wanted but its okay because it was a great interaction :))

[Trans: Please write me an encouraging message as I have been stressed out and losing sleep a lot lately!!

Ans: Here I am~<3 (I think he meant, “I am here” like “I am here for you!” ;; then, “화이팅!!” (fighting/I’m cheering you on!)]

Suhyun

He was sooo easy to talk to oh my god, he really made me feel calm because it was so casual, he's not really smiley but he's extremely friendly. He also talked to me in Korean the most. When he found out my name he was immediately like "Oh Justin Beiber!!!!" and I was like nOoooo and tried to explain theyre spelled differently and he was like "Ok ok sorry" lol Sorry bro and then I gave him his present (a pink bow clip) he took it and was like "지금...?" (now?) and when I said yes he kind of laughed like he was embarrassed (sorry) then put it in. He answered my post it in Korean then translated it for me even tho I knew what he said lol but that was nice. After, in Korean, he asked me where i was from and if (what?) I ate, and since I was able to answer easily he was like "Oh youre good at Korean!" (in Korean) and i was like "No I can only speak a bit" (in Korean) and he was like "대학교?" (like asking me if I study at university) and I was like yea but the staff was already pushing me away but he held hands with me once more quickly before I left!

[Trans: Is there a member who’s not who he seems? Why?

Ans: Sangil!!

When I asked why, he said it’s because he’s handsome but he’s actually really cute. I was so bored by that answer because I already know that but w/e he was put on the spot LOL]

Sangil

He was really cute and shy and awkward which I didn't expect (because he's pretty goofy) but it was still nice! My time with him was kinda chaotic though because first of all, he signed the wrong page lol and I tried to tell him but he was kind of confused so when I showed him he was like "OH..." but he couldn't do anything so he just moved the post it fjdj and he felt so bad but I just kept telling him it was okay (in Korean). And then he made the same JB comment as Suhyun but when I was like noooOo he was like "Okay sorry" bUT IN A MORE SAD WAY THAN SUHYUN GHDIDJDD BABY IM SO SORRY I WASN'T TRYING TO BE A A BITCH TO YOU... Then  I gave him him this apple headband that lights up and he gladly took it and smiled but THEN HE PUT THEM ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD SO I WAS LIKE "Nono bring them up!" And he was so confused again, but eventually figured out what I meant but I felt so bad because I felt like I kept demanding him things it was so chaotic god I love him tho and he's adorable.

[Trans: What’s something that makes you happy to hear?

Ans: I like you]

Woosung

He tried speaking a lot of English to me I love him so much? He was so sweet for trying, honestly hes soooo kind no offence I kind of thought he was shit tier (it's a joke don't worry) but hes NOT lol. In my post it I asked him to do a starjng contest with me then give his first impression of me afterwards, and honestly I don't know why I decided to do that but then I was So. Glad. I did because he is so...... BEAUTIFUL..... he looks like a video game character? He's so flawless he looks like a computer graphic I was so shocked.... and I was surprised I held on so long but it must've been because of his beauty like I could've stared at him forever.... but eventually he blinked and I think it was because he was wearing contacts (WHICH ALSO ADDED TO THINGS) so I kinda feel bad for making him do it but it was FUN and he seemed really pumped for it. Then on the post it for the first impression part, he was like (in English) "EYES.... SO.... PERFECT...." and he like... GAVE UP writing perfect because I think he forgot how to spell it I LAUGHED god I love he

[Trans: Let’s have a staring contest! After, tell me your first impression of me.

Ans: Eyes So Perfect]

Sangho

God...... my ass is in fucking pain just writing this..... he smiled a lot immidiately.... and he smiles as though hes seeing a really close friend after a long time? It's one of those heart melting butterfly inducing smiles. When Woosung told him "Justine" (oh yea the members passed my name down the line... frick) he was like "Ahhhh Justine!" And he didn't even ask me to spell it... note, he signed my slogan a week or so ago so I'm thinking he remembered my name from that... can I die... and then he looked me in the eyes and said "보고싶었어요" (I missed you/I wanted to see you) and smiled... GOD HE REALLY. TALKS WITH HIS EYES AND HIS LITTLE SMIRKY SMILE LIKE HE IS JUST SO. B O Y F R I E N D IT MADE ME WANT TO SINK INTO THE FLOOR AND DIE... (also side note, I noticed when he wasn't smiling that he had creases where his smile lines are and bitch thats like my #1 makeup issue so for some reason that just made me suddenly like him even more ?? Bye). Then I gave him the headband (pink with cat ears) but he didnt put it on cause he was wearing something else on his head... I really wanted to see him in it but oh well he... more than made up for it... While he was answering my post it, I decided to tell him I was leaving soon... I was like "그냥... 오빠..." (oppa [something girls say to older males]... just...) and my voice was really shaking because I was really flustered to be in front of him honestly and... he suddenly looked up at me, stopped writing and slid his hand into mine really firmly and held it and he looked really    concerned    oh my go d I ???!!!!!??? that moment alone   was worth how much i spent on the albums bITCH.............. like it was just... so boyfriend ((like it was that moment when he thought his gf was going to start crying so he tightly held my hand and stopped what he was doing to look me in the eyes and listen......I'm sorry I'm sappy)) and i was like "일요일에 (omg i jst realized said the wrong day).... 한국을 떠날거예요......" (on Sunday [I meant monday tho ;;] I'm leaving Korea) and he made such a sad face and was like "왜애애ㅐ" (Whyyyyy) and i was just kinda  choked up and he smiled softly and was like "어디?" (Where are you going/asking where I'm from) and I told him Canada and he kind of sighed and was like  "가지마ㅏ" (Don't gooo) and then he answered my note (I said "I like you so so much, where can I meet a guy like you;;") while still holding my hand and he said his answer outloud as he wrote it and after he held both my hands and he said something like "I know we will meet again soon" :'----(((((((((((( I'm going to fucking cry this is like something I dream of happening but it happened in real life... I love him so much... and then I had to go and he kept thanking me and stuff and I forgot about the Ryan stickers I was going to put on him so I just     fjdkdk gave him the whole pACK AND SOME OF THEM WERE USED HE'S GONNA THINK I'M SO CHEAP  BUT I WAS PANICKING and then right before I left I told him... I loved him (in Korean) god it just came out I'm so embarrassed ;; I love him so much he treats his fans so well he's like the kind of fanservice honestly I'm so shook

[Trans: I really really like you, where can I meet a guy like you?

Ans: ㅎ.ㅎ Justine I really really wanted to meet you

(My Korean friend and I looked at it a lot and that’s what it looked like he said, so I guess he’s saying after he first heard my name (from the slogan) he wanted to meet me... god he’s good at fanservice...)]

Sebin

GOD he is  .      be  a  u  ti ful    like a literal frigging prince and his was over way too fast too I wanna die... So Sangho told him my name and then I was like "oh wait a second!!" (in Korean) and he STOPPED SO FAST I'M SORRY BABY and I was like "My sister really likes you..." and he immediately understood and was like "Ahhhh whats her name?" So I was like panicking and I fumbled for my sticky notes but I couldn't find my pen so I just asked to use his lol and he looked at Kaylen's name and I had drawn a loop for the L and he took out my sticky notes and he pointed and was like "L?" and I COMBUSTED HE'S SO CUTE GOD and so he signed that for her and I explained to him that she couldn't come that day. Then I gave him the EARS (a beige fox/dog ear headband) AND HE PUT THEM ON RIGHT AWAY I LOVE HIM HOW IS HE SUCH A SQUISHY BABY BUT LIKE A FUCKING HOT ASS PRINCE AT THE SAME TIME?? And then he held my hand and Kaylen wanted him to draw something cute for him and he drew a cat so quickly god everything he did was so cute I love HE and I told him the same as Sangho that we're leaving on Monday.... and I honestly don't remember his reaction But my time with him was also pretty chaotic but i think I was just really flustered from Sangho :P Sebin though is seriously so beautiful and kind he's just a little shy with new people I think!

[Trans: My sister is your fan but she didn’t get into the fansign today... please draw her a cute picture!

Ans: *cat* jdkjdd]

ANYWAYS IM BEYOND EMO! BYE!

So after I sat down, a few minutes later Sangho caught my eye again then smiled and waved and gave me a ... heart.... then two finger hearts and I was really dying Fuck me

They all ended up keeping their presents on from me - Taewoong had his lil butterfly clip on the top of his head, Suhyun had his clip on the side of his head, Sangil kept his apple headband on, Woosung put the bunny clip on his collar like a bowtie, Sebin kept his ears on the whole time !!!!! Sangho has his kitty ears on his neck.

*Previews NOT MINE! Credit on watermarks*

*Previews NOT MINE! Credit on watermarks* 

 Watching the rest of the sign... Sebin really loved his ears and kept doing cute things to show them off and everyone thought he was so endearing!! But side note... he fidgeted with the headband a few times so I think it was kind of uncomfortable but he didn't want to take them off :-( god he's so precious...

When things were winding down later, Sangil took off his headband and Woosung took it, put it on his face so the apple parts looked like they were coming out of his eyes and he was like "눈이 아파요요요요ㅠㅠ" (my eYes hurttt!!) in a REALLY DUMB VOICE I laughed so frigging hard them Sangil wore them the same way God they're so silly

Then they came to the front at the end of the sign and when they were doing their final waves Sangho smiled and waved really big @ me, mouthed "고마워요!" (thank you) and gave me a finger heart again (I got it on video that time) I wanna :-( my boyfriend :-(((((( i love he so much.... hes spoiling me..........

And then it was over and I really wanted to cry it was such a beautiful experience for me... I'm really gonna love and cherish these boys for the rest of my life!!!

[systemmalfucktion]

oc asks stuff i stole and didnt proof read

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

ollie petrov, i chose the name ollie bc i liked it and pretrov is just one of the most common surnames in russia. the meaning isn’t important to his character at all 

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

nah

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? 

he had a decent childhood and grew up in a high income family but suffered the Neglect from daddy. his fondest memories are w childhood friends, bad memory would be Neglect from daddy and mommy and living in fear 

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? 

he loved his mama lots until she walked out on him, he didn’t understand why and he resented her A Lot, when he came to understand why she did it he thought she was a coward and resented her A Lot More. he never forgives her for it over the course of the entire story 

he cared for his dad maybe when he was younger but after his mom left he was basically sent off elsewhere. he made no efforts to talk to his dad over the phone or ask for visits bc he was completely content with not seeing him. after a bit he literally just hates his dad bc of Plot Related Issues, when they have their own fucked up version of Dad to Son talk later he word vomits every thing he hates about him and the dads like “ya i figured this would happen the moment u came outta mamas pussy. dammit”

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

no sibs

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

he was really good in school and used it as an outlet to pour all his attention into bc he liked the satisfaction it gave him when he got good grades, he planned on going to college until Plot Related Issues derailed his life. he liked the English Language and didn’t care for like science n shit

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? 

when he was growing up he was just a friendly nice only kid so he liked to treat friends like his family so he was well liked, when he moved away he lost all contact with anyone there. friends he makes in russia when he first moves there are mostly also left behind, hes Big on leaving places thats 4 sure

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? 

no pets as a child, he likes animals and is a cat person but didnt see a reason to get a pet

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? 

animals are probably chill with him, i imagine any instance with animals is probably just a chill one

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

same w animals, hes just chill. kids probably would like him bc hes relaxed and not strict. he likes the idea of being traditional and starting a family but he truly doesn't see it happening for him given Plot 

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

nope he eats whats put in front of him almost always

12. What is their favourite food? 

probs like a soup or something warm and filling

13. What is their least favourite food?

Get Those Damn Avocados Away  

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

when he went out to restaurants with his ma and pops as a child, or when way later his roommate Matt cooks for him when he was goin thru sum shit

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

he doesnt cook anything complicated at all, when shopping for himself its a lot of instant food bc hes cheap and doesnt care to put a lot of effort into his food. others either dont care or thinks its unhealthy

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? 

ive thought of this a lot and its mostly momentos, not that it matters bc every item he gets from someone is eventually left behind when he leaves russia as Symbolism. the collection serves almost no purpose bc of how often he Jumps Ship when it comes to relationships w other human beings but thats kinda the point

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

hes fine with pictures like selfies w ppl or scenery until hes in america, where he is convinced any pictures he takes or pictures hes in will end up being the reason hes found out. but in russia he liked taking silly pictures of just stuff around him. its like on instagram u dont know what someone looks like until u looked at what they were tagged in kinda, crappy over filtered pics of stuff around him like trees or windows. 1 of those instagrams....

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

he likes those shitty kind of john green novel types with the manic pixie dream with the wallflower type, indie music, documentaries or crime related, video games that are story driven rather than multiplayer. just ur average Introverted Bro

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

sci fi or anything BORING like that

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

doesnt care for musicals but likes music, he gets really focused when his favorite song comes on bc he wants to appreciate it if its on and hes not focused on it he will play it over again to Appreciate it.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

he has a temper but hides it well but if u manage to get him to actually lose him temper he will glare at u until its his turn to speak and argue u 1 response  before he Fucks Right Off meaning if it doesnt end right there Boy’s Got A Grudge. it doesnt happen often bc hes not huge on confrontation, the reason why goes from social anxiety when he was 14 to PSTD when he was 16

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

i dont know about favorite insults but he manages to stay polite in the face of people, and bitches about them to sergei when he can 

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

good memory and with faces for sure 

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

he doesnt stay up very late all that often until he has a reason to (heists n whatnot) he sleeps on an old mattress twin sized, p soft 

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

hed probably have normie humor b4 he met the shitpost that is (i had 2 rename her bc i forgot her fuckin russian name kms but this is a name on doulingo a lot so i wont forget hopefully) vera, her humor is like my mains shitposts so hed find that stuff funny after a bit. he doesnt make many jokes 

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? 

hes good at hiding emotions but when hes happy abt something (thankful for ex) he’ll make it known to them, good times w friends he’ll basically mirror what they’re doing, happy when he’s by himself would be a jittery smiling Fool 

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

lots make him sad, his daddy issues, roommate issues, mental health n shit. he cries a few times and tries to be secretive about it, over time he’s not that ashamed to cry in front of sergei given that he’s seen him cry a couple times. when he’s sad he’s even more quiet and sulky. if u made him sad and said u were sorry he’d say he accepted the apology but like the mood wouldn’t lighten up at all. 

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

1. big fear is probably getting hurt/attacked and being helpless (after the Great Stab), after that era he’s basically all up in self defense knowledge to prevent that turn out again. he’s scared of the ppl he deals to and eventually is scared of anyone he doesnt know well (in america, thats everyone outside of matty, joe, and austin) bc of the threat of getting caught by work peers who are looking 4 him. 

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? 

if he were to find out someones fear he wouldnt put it against them, if a situation came out where he could protect them from it he would try to do so casually. Nice Guy

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

he doesn’t exercise but if there were a case of him doing so pre would be a motivated Bro ready to get pumped and post would be tired dead man

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

he drank a bit in russia, hes the Underage Ollie. Underage Ollie is really clingy to sergei, the only guy he knows in the group of Bros around him, he tries to have a good time and laugh w everyone. hungover he’s sick and pitiful, boo hoo woe is me i feel like shit kinda way. when ollies around drunk sergei imagine this season of morty dealing with rick, like fed the fuck up but caring uknow? 

Not Underage Ollie is a lil more fun, he went 2 sum clubs w austin only a few times  ;) ;), hungover he was a less whiny version of Underage Ollie. he’s less caring when others are drunk around him bc its austin and austin drinks irresponsibly and is also is ex so SHRUG 

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

he dresses comfort over fashion and owns like 3 shirts basically. clothes shopping is not really a priority for him at all, but he does appreciate some aesthetics just not on himself.  he sleeps in his panties (undies) with a shirt, doesnt wear makeup. his hair is a mousy brown i guess? its not tamed at all hes got that anime boy protag gohan/luffy/ash hair  

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

boxer briefs 

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

hes a slight young twink man, and in his youth hes like 5′5 and it caps at like 5′10 maybe when he’s an adult. he’s ok w his body but everyones got insecurities 

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? 

guilty pleasure are the john green type shitty novels and the ungulity pleasure is idk! slime vids or something

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

he’s good at writing i guess (4 school, in english n russian), he likes 2 read, and he can sing but its like generic male voice singing. its just ok

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

he likes 2 read and he’s fast i guess, n like i said the genre he likes is that shitty poetic adorkable fictional stuff 

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

he likes when ppl are assertive, not really when assertive @ him, but when they can be assertive in general. he would love to be able to hold any power in any conversation he’s in between ages 0-18

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? 

emails and messages 

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

he can stay awake without any energy boosters for a while

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

he’s gay, he likes Boys. he likes nice friendly boys who basically carry out social interactions and are good at not letting things get awkward (this goes for austin and matt and even vera). he needs a lot of space, like an unhealthy amount of space, Like Mayhaps There’s Something Wrong amount of space. 

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

goals: get outta the bis! 

sacrifice: friend’s safety/livelihood!

secret ambition/guilty subconscious: get in bis and succeed 2 make papa proud! its a job handed to him that makes BANK and is basically a fallback if his goal doesnt work except he wont admit it to himself

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

no religion basically, he would probably not be an asshole about it but be kinda an asshole abt religion in private

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? 

he loves the winter bc he likes being bundled up, overcast sky, he’s good in the cold and he complains abt wet weather (rain and snow) 

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? 

like he’s a troubled navie kid, and he’ll come around when it comes time for him to work. ollie doesnt know about the work he has to do when he’s older for a while, all he knows is that everyone is Preparing him for something. he knows he’s troubled but he doesnt think of himself as stubborn like other ppl do. 

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

no, most of the time he’s kinda awkward. it reflects him p good :(. he basically just goes “hey im ollie” and depending on who it is he’ll explain what he’s doing like “i have your coke” or “im austins friend. thanks for taking me in” 

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

he’ll act mannerly and polite like he usually does, he likes getting dressed up fancy and being in a fancy space. not one for chit chat but he’s not Hating it

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? 

he doesnt care for parties i guess, he turns up at them to supply the good stuff and he tries to act like it’s a job, except usually the person he deals with is like ??? y so serious bitch? he’s dragged along by sergei p often, he doesnt complain in front of others but throws fits with him before or after

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Daddys Jacket. its just a winter coat that he wears a lot

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials? 

accurate to what happsn in canon. his clothes, phone, chargers, wallet, and i think that would be it. hes pretty minimalist and doesnt want to be held down by stuff cus when he went to america he did so Swiftly. 

[kgysj-blog]

day 3 - 4/27/17

dear depression, hiya again!! ill just get right into it for the day since im a little late doin my daily post haha okay so i had a cute outfit sat out for school today & i got up at 7:05 & the tardy bell rings at 7:30 so i just threw on the cute outfit & straightened my hair really really fast & i had no time to do my make up so i went to school without that shiz. during first period (english) we watched wuthering heights again & it was super good. idk i just have some weird thing for doomed love stories it's weird idek.. lol. then i went to second period (math) and we got our tests back & i made a frickin 99 bc i forgot to change the sign on one of the problems & it made me hellllllaaaaa mad ugh but its gucci. we went over some more problems but ford made them harder and challenging for the people that don't pay attention i guess bc they weren't hard for me or connor lmao. i was in a great ass mood and i got to break and i was walkin in and chezly was walkin out and this nigga picked me up and took my to a chair & sat me down then patted my head and I ab died hahahahah i love that dude. then i ate two pieces of pizza at break bc it's good as shit. then i went to third period (anatomy) and did this learnsmart thing & i was actually really surprised bc i knew a few of the answers without having to go back and read on it so that was good. i finished w half an hour to just chill so i played the beer pong game on my phone (which im good as frick at might i add). then i went to fourth (economics) and we had an open book test which im pretty sure i most likely failed l o l but it's fine im fine. after that ky was crackin me up the entire time idek why i was laughing like a dumbass the whole time hahahaha but brett kept telling me shit wasn't really funny & all that & he's usually not like that and it really annoyed me tbh. like i can laugh at whatever tf i want, take ya bitter ass and go on somewhere bih. everyone was just in a really good mood i loved it (other than Brett, lol) then i went and sat in bakers w the rest of my buddies and it was like every single thing was funny and i felt happy it was weird idek i was just happy and relaxed & laid back. Andy looked over to me & he was "seriously everyone is in a good mood today" and it made me happy bc i love it when my friends are happy. so anyway, i went to career tech & i made up this test from like 2 weeks ago & i made a 100 on that bit and it put me in a good ass mood. then we had this practice sheet & i was answering correctly left and right & it was just good. then i was walking to the bus & i looked at Ry & i was like "im just really happy right now like im in such a good mood and i have been all day" and she said it makes her happy to see other people happy & that made me happy/sad bc i don't think she is.. i don't like when other people have problems bc i have a ton & it really does suck. well when i got to the bus i had a text from my bud that im not supposed to be talking to. it was just a game request thing but... why are we still talking? i am supposed to be on like my fourth or fifth day without him.. i think he's scared of what ill do if we cut off contact completely idk. he's the one that came up with the idea but now he's the one texting me. i mean im not complaining bc i dont know how id feel or be doing if he wasn't talking to me but ya know im just really confused. we played a few games & he stopped replying which i understand but, like i said, im just v confused. i slept when i got home from like 5-8. it was nice bc no practice. but i actually have some feelings to talk ab now lmao here we go. i think i have an over thinking issue. i mean i know a lot of girls do but for some reason i feel like mine is super bad. i psycho analyze EVERYTHING. its honestly ridiculous. also, i heard this song on the country radio & it reminded me of summer & Peyt and it made me sad so i turned it off bc no sadness :) i just wish i didnt have problems and we could work one day :/ last week its like i had come to the conclusion that he was ready to be done which meant i had to be obviously & i was hella fucking depressed and cried every single day but it wasn't all bc of him. i just have those kinds of problems & for some reason i couldn't control myself last week it was strange. last week it's like i had come to terms w being done w him & then he texts me on friday and tells me we need to talk in person and clarify some things & all that. well i thought what he said ab us needing to distance ourselves meant we were done so i was confused on what else there was to say...? but anyway i was kinda looking forward to closure and all that in person. like finally getting to hear his thoughts face to face so he could get it all out and us be done and learn to move on. well he never texted me back about it and then at like 1 am Sunday morning he tells me we don't have to talk anymore? idk THE WHOLE THING IS A MESS. we talked and said we needed to not talk until i had bettered myself bc my cutting and all that scares the shit out of him (and all my friends) and that he feels he is part of the reason. it made me sick when i read that. i don't want him ever upset or scared or anything when he thinks of me... i felt really bad. but i was like okay ya know we are gonna have to learn to not have each other soon anyway so i guess starting now would be helpful. and i was completely on board. and now we've talked every single day. and its so confusing idek. I just know i still love him and for some mf reason i can't change it and its embarrassing bc i feel like we will never be the same or even be together again. idek i just needed to get it all out :) i have sectionals tomorrow and i am really freaking nervous like REALLY NERVOUS but i need to chill out and focus so i can get top 3. i guess that's all for tonight.. goodnight :) love, g