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karlachismylife · 5 months ago

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i told myself i'll take a break in my failing attempts to write a couple things on Karlach x Soap in english and go back to writing a couple other things in my first language for the upcoming fandom combat deadline

so here's a thing i wrote instead and it's neither of those :D

Very much inspired by my precious friend that is obsessed with some datesim I know nothing about and talks my ear off about her sexy chinese dudes while I make her listen to me simping for my dead scottish ADHD meow meow. We don't know shit about each other's fandoms but we're so excited for each other... Also excuse me if this idea has already been done (I swear I thought of it on my own, but I will tag anyone who's done this before if you send me a link) + my English writing still sucks.

I also encourage you to check out these smaus, they're brilliant and I somewhat looked at them when wrote Kyle's text messages and this wonderful thing about Ghost and Animal Crossing that also inspired me to look into these silly military men and mobile/video games.

Task force 141 and their reaction to their S/O playing dating simulator games

CW: gn!civilian!reader (if I slipped into one or the other gender somewhere, please tell me & I'll correct), mostly fluff with a bit of spice, pet names, mild cursing, unserious jealousy and banter, long-distance (Gaz), describing nudes and mild sexting (Gaz), soft Ghost, mentioned spanking (Price), mild dom!Price, alluded reader recieveing fingerng and oral (Soap)

Word count: ~5k

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

That silly app you downloaded because its (very compelling) ads were repeatedly shoved in your face became surprisingly convenient when Gaz got deployed and wasn't within reach for weeks. A slightly clay-looking guy on your screen didn't hold up in comparison to the smoothest bastard sergeant with the tightest grip on your heart, but a cute feature with app notifications stylized as loving text messages from the virtual boyfriend somehow helped cope with the radio silence from Kyle. You knew he would be fine, how could he not? You gave him a very proper goodbye kiss (and goodbye sex that was a bit more improper) for luck, and he was too damn good at his job to fail. You weren't going insane from worry, at least not more than usually.

But the loneliness, the fucking loneliness was a little bit more bearable when you still got your "good morning beautiful xx" and "thinking about you before bed" even though the font was wacky and some phrases were clearly poorly google translated. To unlock these little snippets you opened the app every day, usually tapping mindlessly on all the required interactions before going to sleep and eyeing some of the ingame wardrobe options that wouldn't work too bad on your man. In fact, you even took a screenshot of a nice suit - if tailored right, Kyle would look in it sharper than the tactical knife he knew so well. You just needed an opportunity to show it to him.

And the opportunity barged in with a sudden surge of texts right when you were already getting ready for some shut-eye.

Three weeks of muffled unease wiped out and replaced with that never-tiring giddy feeling bubbling inside as soon as you saw Kyle's name pop up on top of your screen.

"hi baby"

"finally can text, miss you terribly 😘"

"what are you up to angel?"

You could feel your own cheeks strain with the stupid smile plastered on your face. No doubt, Kyle texted you at the first opportunity - he was there, he was okay and he missed you. All sleepiness in your body withered away, leaving you energized at eleven pm, squirming in your bed as you rolled over to start vigorously typing back. You never knew how much time you both have to chat, unstable signal or simply never-ending duty could interrupt you at any given moment, so you had to get your fill of premium class Garrick right there and then - no matter how drowsy it would make you the next morning.

Eventually you sent him the screenshot you took without second thoughts:

"btw thought you'd look good in smth like this baby, what do you think?"

Instead of a normal reply on the topic, though, you recieved an immediate jab followed by short pause:

"the fuck is that baby? 🤣"

"wait i think i know"

"replacing me with a vr boyfriend already? jesus fuck angel i haven't been away even for a month"

"i'm wounded, truly. he doesn't even look that good and can't spell correctly. what a downgrade 😔"

If only you could communicate the muscle-straining eyeroll you had through text. Chuckling and snorting, you immediately came to defence of your pixel prince charming, simply for the sake of it.

"how dare you. he's not a mere replacement, this is true love, garrick 💕🥰❤️✨"

"look at the top, we're already level 29 intimacy"

"gonna get him to send me nudes soon, they unlock at lvl 30"

Gaz could probably hear your bratty giggles on the other side of the globe, sheets rustling as you wiggled in your bed, absolutely proud of your impeccably fine-tuned wit and properly excited for the upcoming smartass comeback, since Kyle would rather die than let you have a win. But you've already calmed down with your cheeks mildly flushed, and the messages were still left on read.

Weird. It wasn't the first time your chatting ended abruptly, but usually Kyle had time at least to tell you he had to go - maybe even exchange little "ily"s. Did the signal cut off? But it was good enough for him to download a picture even, surely he'd notice if it started lagging and tell you. Did something bad happen? An emergency? An ambush?

A slight frown etched in your face as you started unwillingly thinking of the worst. Then - in a moment - that little green circle signaling Gaz was online came back. And still no answer.

Did he... get actually upset? Over a fucking datesim app?

It was hard to believe. Impossible, even. Kyle was never prone to jealosy fits, smug bastard definitely knew how secure you two were. But maybe... maybe it was the fact that you were seeking comfort he couldn't provide? Being told you needed a whole ass app simply to tell you goodnight while he was god knows where, unable to hold you and cuddle you to sleep - that could sting.

Shit, you shouldn't have started this. Gaz wouldn't outright admit he felt even the slightest bit insecure over an unblinking 3D monstrosity with a sexy Korean voice. He'd think it was stupid - and he would be right, frankly, but in this case this wasn't completely unreasonable.

Already anxious, you put your thumbs back on the phone to type out a careful question, but before you could even think of a right way to formulate it the chat chirped and loaded in a bunch of attachments.

Absolutely scandalous. Hastly unndone uniform, sweaty shirt pulled up and - you knew it even if it was outside the frame - clutched in his teeth, bared in a self-assured smirk, belt unbuckled and hanging from the loops of pants pulled down just a bit; just enough for his hand to slip inside and gather into a delicious grasp around the bulge you knew was straining against his boxers. Fucking tease, pulling the elastic band with his thumb to let you see just the base of his cock - you had to swipe several mouth-watering closeups on his chest, v-line beautifully adorned with dark hair and that bloody hand you already ached to feel on your thigh, before you finally got your reward. Hard just from the thought of you, tip glistening with the pre-cum he definitely smeared all over specifically for that picture.

"wanted to ask if your pixel bf can beat these"

"but i think your silence already says enough 😏"

You groaned, belly warm with the familiar longing. What an angel of a man, finding time to somehow snap packs of perfect nudes in the middle of wherever he was. Already turning over to slide your hand down your body, you sent a very sulking "hate you garrick. first made me worried and now horny, shameless bastard" and got an obligatory "sure you do. i'll fuck that attitude outta you as soon as i get back angel".

Somehow all the need in a virtual replacement vanished after this chat. Not only did Kyle text you more regularly - sensing a competition maybe, huh? - but you also got yourself enough material to be comforted before sleep. Sure, you'd rather have your man there in person, but no perfect-looking anime prince could offer a view better than Kyle's flexed arms or a cheeky sneak peek of his plump ass and a smooth back arch snapped over his shoulder.

No wonder you two threw yourselves at each other when Gaz finally showed up home, tired and a little roghed up, but very much alive and pent up for you. Once you were done relieving some of that frustration and cuddled up after a nice, hot shower, though, Kyle nipped your earlobe teasingly.

"No such level to unlock this experience, huh, angel? Something your app boytoy can't provide."

He caught your arm before you could elbow him playfully and grasped you tighter aroung your waist, using his free hand to get his phone and hold it in front of your face.

"Besides, I think he likes me more."

"How the fuck did you get to level sixty, Garrick?!"

Simon "Ghost" Riley

"Twilight was peaking how many years ago? And they still have this stupid choice everywhere."

Simon, the unmoving domestic shadow spread in a comfortable sitting position on your couch for the daily quiet together time, turned his head lazily and gently squeezed your thigh, careful not to disturb your legs thrown over his lap as he leaned a bit closer with a mildly interested "Hm?"

"It's this dating game. They're making me choose between a vampire and a werewolf. Can't think of another conflict for the last decade, really? Why not elves versus orcs? They never make stories about sexy orcs. But there's a market for it! Why stick to the same broken record all the time? Or, I don't know, invent beef between fairies and mermaids!" You huffed in exasperation, waving your phone in a vague gesture meant to express your disdain for the lack of creativity in the supernatural romance visual novels department. Ghost's usual intense stare boring into your face could mean anything - from him silently judging you for lacking respect for the culturally impactful vampries-werewolves feud to a wordless question whether you were in the sexy orc enjoyers market.

But when he finally spoke, scarred lips slightly curled upwards in a hint of an amused smile and eyebrows raised, he asked what seemed to catch his attention much more than what fantasy creature you would like to bang.

"A dating game?" His smirk became more prominent, eyes narrowing as an indicator of him looking for a way to quip in the most unbearable way possible. "What's all that about, love?"

The fact that he didn't know wasn't that surprising, you'd be much more astonished if Ghost did know what a dating simulator game was, but the need to explain still caught you off guard, forcing you to pause with the expressive phone gesturing and actually try and describe the phenomenon.

"Well, it's a mobile game, where you, like... have to play through a story with the main thing being befriending and romancing characters. It's mostly reading a story, really, but you get dialogue options to unlock special scenes with your chosen romantic interest or you can give them gifts..." A stolen glance at Simon told you that he was surprsingly paying attention. "But there's often a plot too. The one I started recently is about, well, vampires and werewolves... a Twilight ripoff, basically, but the player gets to be Bella." You paused, gauging his reaction, but other than his calloused fingers kneading the meat of your thigh Ghost didn't even move, leaving you to look at him with suspicion mixed with amusement. "Want me to show you?.."

Finally, his hand stopped its methodical massaging, only to pat your thigh approvingly and help you sit up, cozily snuggled up to the man whose hoodie you shamelessly stole just to wear around him. Wrapping his muscular arm around you, Ghost leaned his head against yours and prepared for the highly educational lecture on the world full of opportunities to get turned down because of having too low approval with the character.

You showed him the exact story that got you so riled up, explained the quite primitive mechanics behind gaining attraction points with the characters and rehashed the entire plot up to the point where you were stuck now - the one where it was obvious the game wanted you to pick a side. Simon listened carefully, gruff chuckles at some of your grumbling and a lot of very insightful commentary on each and every character ("that one's got Johnny's fucking mighty schnotz" and " 'course he's a fucking twat, look at his bloody necktie, a hemp one would be an improvement on 'im"), inculding your own avatar that you spent considerable time making to look like you wanted.

"That supposed to be you, love?" He didn't even try to mask the snarky tone, and you definitely prepared to be offended. You put so much thought into the character looks! So what if they didn't match your real ones fully? It's the game limitations, not your fault. "Hmph. Maybe good enough for these two muppets to fight over. But I reckon I like my version better. Comes with high-quality visuals."

His arm tightened around your shoulders, pulling you up for a short and sweet kiss, rough thumb stroking your jawline tenderly and pressing up under your chin when Ghost pulled away with a crooked smirk, shattered with scars into an artful mosaic.

"Trying to get your approval higher, sir?" You teased, eyes darting between his smiling - what a view, honestly - eyes and ready to be kissed again lips. His response was predictable. "It's working, innit, love? Think there's enough for a special bonus scene yet?"

Despite you clearly pretending to think and count his imaginary attraction points, Simon already started pulling you up into his lap, holding you securely and running his fingers along the curve of your back. "Might need a little more convincing, gamer. You didn't even bring a special gift to this date." Ghost's half-lidded eyes sparkled with hidden competitevness and his chest rumbled with a deep chuckle as he reached out to take your phone out of your hand softly.

"Gave you the hoodie. It counts." Ignoring your not very convincing protests ("It's mine already, of course it doesn't count!"), he tapped something on your screen and then put the phone away, wrapping his arms back around your form and slowly leaning into a tangled cuddlepile in an almost lying position. All your squirming successfully restrained with a bearhug, you huffed and placed your chin on Ghost's chest, looking up at him. He was there, with you, but deep in his gaze you noticed a certain swrling cloud of thoughts. Reading Simon's eyes was a must with him, he knew you could and didn't ever hide them from you.

"What are you thinking about?" You carefully inquired, running your hands over his shoulders and squeezing gently, a habit helping both of you to ease some tension. Simon blinked, tilting his head slightly, and let out a small sigh, seeking the right words. "You're not playing that game because I'm not doing enough, are you, lovie? 'Cos if you are, I'd rather you tell me what's wrong."

Always straight to the point. At least, when he finally decides to speak up. The big, scary dog worried about a silly mobile game as his competition? Cute. But the seriousness in his eyes called for a proper answer, not a teasing joke or a simple "aww, don't worry".

"You're doing more than enough, Simon, and you know it. It's a game, just living out my fantasies as the main character. But I can delete it if it makes you uncomfortable, it's no big deal, you know?" The tiniest bit of tension you felt underneath your fingertips disappeared, leaving Ghost sinking even further into the couch with you properly wrapped in his protective embrace.

"Nah, gorgeous, you keep playin' whatever shite you wanna be playin'. Just promise to keep me updated on the bloke so I can upstage him in every way." His voice got muffled since he buried his face in your chest, eyes closed peacefully and pure bliss written in all the relaxed features. Cradling his head, you hummed in agreement, but then perked up again.

"Wait, what bloke? You picked one of them for me?" - "Mhm." - "Oh come on, Simon, what happened to the freedom of choice!" You could feel his smile get more prominent despite being hidden in the softness of your chest covered with the thick hoodie material. "Which one did you choose? The vampire 'cause he's wearing all black?"

"Nuh-uh. The other one. The mutt."

You giggled at his choice of words and let out a quiet "oi" when Simon pinched you for disturbing his calm enjoyment of a "bonus scene" with the chosen romance option, that being you.

"Why? You're a Wolf Man fan or something?"

"'f course I am, love. He's British."

Captain John Price

When you saw the notification that the game you got sucked into with the active help of your friends got a "sound update", you knew what that meant - they finally added English voiceover lines for every single hunk of a man you had in your virtual harem, and you couldn't wait to hear what voices they gave your favourites. Given the nature of the game, you decided to put your earbuds on and started listening through the whole voicelines library, busying your hands with mundane tasks like folding laundry. John was sitting in the kitchen, fully immersed into his reading - potentially work-related. Or at least enthralling enough for him to miss your flushed cheeks or periodical giggling.

But no matter how important his reading was, what he couldn't miss was the sultry male voice coming out of your phone with a whispered "Wouldn't you love that, bunny?". Of course the parinig connection between your phone and the wireless earbuds had to get interrupted exactly when you were pouring yourself a cuppa and couldn't even drop the kettle in order to shush the suggestive purring of your digital fave.

You could feel Price staring at you. You could practically hear his bushy eyebrows slowly rising as he patiently waited for you to say something first. You were fully contemplating brewing yourself some poison instead of tea to avoid getting confronted by your man who just heard someone call you bunny on the phone.

So when you didn't start first, John, more amused than anything - he knew you too well to read through all your tiny microreactions and conclude that this wasn't hardcore evidence of an affair, but something much more suitable for future teasing (were you listening to porn or something? a naughty audiobook? oh so many golden opportunities to make you squirm under the steel gaze of the captain) - asked very nonchalantly: "What was that, darling?"

"What?" There was no point in pretending you didn't know what he's talking about, but you still tried. If anything, it allowed you to stall while you very hesitantly turned around and saw John and his smile, not even a hint of sterness in the round plumpness of bearded cheeks and little crow's feet in the corners of his eyes. "What was what, honey? You want some tea too?"

A futile attempt at deflecting and bribery rolled into one. You were lucky you were not his subordinate. You were unlucky the voice of some other man, dripping with mirth, came back into your ear once the next voiceline loaded in and the connection with your earbuds got restored. This was equal to admitting your crimes in front of the judges, but you slowly took your phone out of your pocket and hit pause.

"Does the tea come with an explnation who's the bloke whispering in your pretty ears, bunny? 'Cos if so, I'll take a cuppa, thank you very much."

He was beaming. Leaned back in his chair, knees wide apart and burly arms folded on his chest, Price wanted to have a wee little pause in his serious reading, and watching you squirm was the best distraction and brain-reloading he could ever get.

"I-it's not like that, I promise." Was that a bead of sweat running down your nape? John grunted, cocking an eyebrow and pushing his chin into his chest to stare at you from an angle that best conveyed that "I am not convinced, love" look. "It's just a little game, John, promise. Not a real man, just a made-up character."

Those piercing eyes narrowed even more, silently measuring you up for potentially bullshitting him, and then a heavy hand patted the broad thigh. An order, not an invitation (an order you could always disobey, though...)

"Show me."

Forgetting the option to disobey with little consequences, you hung your head down and dragged yourself and your fresh cuppa over to John, settling in his lap. The tea didn't even make it to the table, he snatched it from your fingers, careful enough not to spill, and sipped loudly, patting your side condescendingly. Any more stalling could result in various stages of burning buttocks, so you complied with the demand without Price repeating himself and opened the app, disconnecting your earbuds in the process.

He clearly wanted to hear that embarassing shit.

Your explanations of what a datesim was seemed to amuse John greatly - knowing his love for farming games, you made sure to mention all the best ones mixing the two genres, clearly trying to sweeten the deal.

"So wha', sum muppet in your phone callin' you bunny and you like 't? Maybe I should start too, huh?" You had to close your eyes to stop the internal screaming, and John's gruff chuckle hit your burning ear with a gentle puff. "But these, erm..." - "Companions." - "Riiight, these companions, they ain't whispering something... naughtier, are they?"

There was a hint of seriousness in his question, so you opened your eyes again and turned to look at him. His face was still smiling calmly, but the expectation was that of an honest and direct answer.

"Well, they do have more explicit scenarios and voicelines..." - "They talkin' dirty to you, eh? Guess I should step up my game." He flexed his jaw and leaned even closer, brushing his slightly chapped lips over the tender shell of your ear, soft beard tickling you and leaving you helpless. "Can't have my sweetheart wooed by sum app game fockers, can I? C'mere you little bunny, Imma show you sumthin' to hop on."

He stood up suddenly, lifting you with a soft grunt and dragging you away from the forgotten phone and empty cup. No amount of "John!" squeaked out could save you from that bear of a man groping your ass before throwing you onto bed and climbing on top. His weight squeezed the air out of your lungs as he roamed his big palmes all over your sweet body, even more enthusiastic about the impromptu break in his work.

"Ugh, fine, Johnathan Price, I won't be listening to the spicy dialogues! Just let me finish my-" Absolutely futile, your plea to get back to housework you had planned got cut short by a deep kiss, John's tongue sliding in your mouth as the most efficient (okay, maybe, second most) gag he could use on you. Your hands, previously pressed against his furry chest in an attempt to push him off, relaxed and buried themselves in his thick hair, ruffliing it and tugging him closer by the strands. A low grunt let you know what you already knew and felt much lower - John fully approved both that and your promise to keep away from the horny digital harem.

"Why even bother with 'em bloody games when you can 'ave the real thing, huh?"

John "Soap" MacTavish

"Whit are ye smiling at there, bonnie?"

Before you could even process the question and come up with any answer (excuse) about the silliest giddy smile that a cutscene in your chosen romance route got out of you, your massive - the only way to not be thrown off by Johny "Can't Sleep Still" MacTavish - bed creaked underneath the impressive weight of a fine Scottish specimen. Like a curious pup, Soap squeezed his head through the loop of your arm, earning himself a choking cuddle in the process, and stared into your screen.

"No, Johnny, piss off! It's personal!" You scrambled to turn your phone away from him and held it to your chest, a traitorous warmth in your cheeks threatening to give away what kind of personal it was. Of course, Soap caught on immediately, playful glint in his eyes as he simply yanked the phone out of your grip and turned over onto his back, shamelessly using you as a pillow while he unlocked your screen (why the fuck were you two so trusting and shared passwords!) and looked at the animated cutscene.

And why did it have to be the first spicy one you finally unlocked?

"What's tha'? Didnae peg ye fur a hentai type, bonnie." Soap watched the looped animation for a few more seconds while you wrestled against his heavy fucking carcass helplessly. With a single tap he closed the cutscene and let out an amused hum when met with the continuation of your unlocked chapter. "Och, so ye're reading smut too? Naughty."

You squirmed visciously, fighting for your dignity as he started reading aloud through the desciption of what didn't make the cutscene. The experience was downright horrible, humiliating and arousing at the same time as Johnny's thick brogue and mocking tone killed every ounce of spice in the steamy scene and somehow added new ones. Along with his stuttering. This lad... you even tried to grab his arm and chew on the meaty muscle in hopes of distracting him, but he didn't even flinch, simply pulling his limb out of your grasp and putting it behind his head comfortably. Outraging.

"Slender aristocratic fingers squeezing supple..." he smacked his lips so loudly that you groaned, "...flesh nae hard enough tae leave marks, but enough tae el... elicit pleasure, his breath hot in yer ear, whispering... Hauld yer horses- how come is yer name 'ere, bonnie? Who's writing this fur ye?" You nearly bounced off the bed when Soap suddenly sat up straight, relieving you from his (quite welcome, to be fair) burden, and frowned at your phone, scrolling through the erotc piece as if he could figure out who was the author just from reading it carefully enough. The pout he turned to you with was nothing short of absolutely heartbreaking. "Who's tha' "Laird Sebastian" prick writing a' kinds of nasty shite he wants tae dae tae ma' leannan? Am ah nae enough fur ye, bonnie? Dae ye wanntae leave me fur some posh bastard wi' a stick so far up his arse tha' it pokes outta his yapper?"

It was so obvious that Soap was just taking the piss, but his bottomless puppy eyes with the longest lashes fluttering as if on the verge of tears were working their dark magic, crashing your train of thought like a whole gang of outlaws from the Wild West and coercing you into making an apologetic expression and reaching your arms pleadingly for a hug. "Aw, come on, Johnny, it's just a-"

"Ah dinnae think tis a good idea, love. Ah dinnae have slender aristocratic fingers, wha' if a'm awful lot o' a commoner tae yer tastes..." Soap tilted his chin up, a perfect depiction of dignity suffering horrible offence, and turned away defiently, immediately peeking back at you from the corner of his twinkling blue eye. You knew those little smiling creases too well to miss them forming despite him holding a pout quite successfully, so you scoffed, still slightly flushed from being caught red-handed, and rolled your eyes, snuggling up to Johnny from behind and starting to kiss behind his ear.

"I'm so, so sorry, love of my life. No posh bastards come nowhere near you, you're my favourite commoner. Fuck Lord Sebastian-" You realized you chose the wrong wording when Soap couldn't hold back a snort. "Aye, well, seems lik' ye were planning on doing exactly tha-" - "Oh shut the fuck up, MacTavish!"

Shut the fuck up he did, turning back to face you abruptly and tackling you into the sheets, lavishing kisses with his searing hot lips all over your face. A real mutt pouncing the handler he has no respect and all the love for. There was no choice left for you other than wrap all your limbs around Soap and writhe underneath him, nearly missing that very inconspicuous way he reached his arm out and dropped your phone on the nightstand before cradling your head for much deeper, sloppier kisses.

"Gonna show tha' laird sod how tae fuck mah bonnie real good, aye? Mak' ye come wi' thae fingers right 'ere, nae aristocrat bullshit." Lapping up your neck with his wet tongue, Soap planted a greedy kiss right underneath your jaw and sucked at the soft skin until it showed a little pinkish hue. The bastard was set on making you sing for him, big rough palms grabbing handfuls of your flesh, squeezing and massaging while Johnny kept decending down your body with clear determination. "C'mon, leannan, let me hear ye. Say yer ol' Johnny's better than tha' bawbag Sebastian."

Sliding your hands over his broad shoulders, you held his nape before tugging on his slightly outgrown mohawk, your own head falling backwards in an exhausted yet adoring sigh.

"You know it's just a game, right, loverboy? A dating simulator, not a real thing? Oi, watch it!" A sharp gasp escaped your lips as Soap chomped on your side and immediately nuzzled into your stomach to blow raspberries into the soft plush, catching you once you started squirming and giggling. No intention of letting you catch your breath until he heard what he wanted. "Fine! Fine, Johnny, you are so, so much better than Lord Sebastian."

Satisfied, he loosened his grasp on you and lifted his head, grinning like he's just won you over from somene actually threatening in terms of romance. Hooked his fingers into your housewear bottoms, slowly tugged them down and started trailing hot-mouthed kisses down from your solar plexus, sky blue eyes glazing over with the never-satiated hunger for your taste on his greedy tongue.

You held your breath. A joke was itching inside your mouth, begging to be let out, dancing on the tip of your tongue...

"You're lucky I didn't choose Duke Aaron's route. That's some serious competion."

"Och, away 'n bile yer heid, bonnie!"

Thank you for reading! I appreciate all interactions, likes, reblogs, comments and requests (send in anything for now! I can filter them myself, but I am open to smut, including rare kinks and some dark themes. Keep in mind though that I am limited by my skill & overall prefer sugary fluff. I will write for any of the task force 141 and baldur's gate characters, including parings, poly, x reader and x OC), I will write drabbles, headcanons and whatever else formats you can think of.

Also any corrections are welcome as long as you're not being mean! Thank you <3

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sailing-ever-west · 20 days ago

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Can I just ask you to post your headcanons for Sanji and Zoro? I wanna hear your thoughts on my favorites

Oh crap too many to count honestly 💀 but I can at least give some general opinions and random thoughts I believe about them as a duo

first of all anyone who doesn't think they are literally best friends is just objectively wrong. their trust is insane. they put their lives and the crew's lives in each other's hands time and time again and they're so in sync during fights it's like they're one body. I think they know things about each other they've told no one else. sometimes not even each other.

they respect each other's crafts very highly. this is also pretty canon tbh. Zoro might pretend Sanji's cooking is mediocre and Sanji might say Zoro's swords are stupid and not as strong as his kicks, but it's show that when they talk about each other to strangers they brag. they know they're the best at what they do and both integral to the crew.

I think they both can get very emotionally unstable when the other is out of commission due to injury or trauma. They rely on each other's strength and the balance of being equals. It's rattling to see Zoro weak and unable to defend himself or Sanji lacking his enthusiasm and fire. They're very essential to each other's realities and sense of safety, and they're quick to try and lift each other back into their best selves.

They're both touch-starved and that's definitely part of why they fight and spar all the time. Nothing like a heated wrestling match to make you look super manly while fulfilling your deep-seated need for a hug.

Zoro thinks they're equals in strength but says he's better. Sanji pretends to think they're equals in strength but actually lowkey thinks Zoro is stronger but still says the opposite. Zoro doesn't realize Sanji deep down thinks of himself as weaker and would think that was really stupid if he knew. They're both willing to die for their crew and/or goals but Sanji has his terrible habit of considering himself expendable and Zoro does not care for that at all.

Sanji knows how to clean Zoro's swords and has done so when Zoro was incapacitated after battles. Zoro trusts Sanji with his swords bc he's seen how well he cares for his kitchen knives, and their aforementioned deep but unspoken respect for each other's skills.

They're actually pretty equally protective over Nami, Sanji is just more dramatic about it. She's a very important figure in both of their lives and they'll do anything to protect her safety and freedom, especially knowing that besides Luffy they're the most capable of doing so.

They actually hang out a lot just the two of them, not really talking but just sitting or laying near each other quietly. Often they take their respective breaks to drink and smoke at the same time and just chill. Neither of them are great with words or expressing emotions, so it's their way of having quality time when they don't feel like fighting, to reassure each other of their presence and partnership.

They do a lot of subtle caring for each other.

Sanji bullies Zoro into bathing. Zoro bullies Sanji into eating. They bully each other into being careful with their wounds.

They intentionally distract each other from their most self-destructive tendencies. If Zoro is training himself ragged, Sanji makes him come eat a snack with the crew. If Sanji is constantly pulling on his hair from stress, Zoro starts saying random dumb things so he'll argue instead and forget.

Nami, Luffy, and Chopper are used as frequent emotional threats against each other. Nami will raise their debt for being stupid and dangerous, Luffy will make a whole Thing about it if they're being mean to themselves, and Chopper will cry if they aren't letting their injuries heal.

That's all I've got for now, hope this brings you joy!

#one piece #black leg sanji #roronoa zoro #wings of the pirate king #op headcanons #op analysis #op meta

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kaidabakugou · 1 year ago

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JUST A PEEK

KENTO NANAMI X F! READER X SATORU GOJO

warnings: office sex | voyeurism | oral sex | masterbation

word count: 1.3k

a/n: dreamt this last night after crying myself to sleep over both of them and i thought i'd share it after the eventful week we've all had :( also sorry this is a little rushed, this was a warm up to just get the dream out before i forget it lol, hope you enjoy!♡

Gulping down the last of his soda he tosses the can into the nearest trash bin, footsteps echoing through the vacant halls as he makes his way towards Nanami’s office where he figured you two were. It was rare for any of you to be at the school this late at night, but Kento and you were out on a mission earlier to clear a potential first grade responsible for multiple disappearances in an old abandoned building just out of the district and although the task was an easy one for the both of you, the few small curses within the vicinity paired with the unstable foundation of the building proved to be somewhat troublesome which resulted in some minor injuries.

And when Satoru got word of it, he figured he'd stop by just to check in on the two of you even if he knew it was nothing serious, you were strong after all and only one of you was needed for the mission, but you happened to be together when you received the call.

The light from Nanami’s office shines through the cracked door and Satoru can't help the smile that tugs at his features when he hears the faint sound of your giggles, but his steps falter when they're followed by your moans echoing from within. Eyes widening briefly behind his blindfold as he steps closer to lean against the side of the door to peer through the small opening into the office where he gets a clear view of your naked figure propped up on his desk, pretty tits glistening under the light as he fixates on the way they move with each rise and fall of your heaving chest before letting his eyes trail down your abdomen, noticing the bandages curving along your rib cage where you'd gotten injured earlier in the mission. His eyes roam further until they settle between your legs where Kento is kneeling, his face concealed behind your thigh where his hand is gripping and kneading at your plush skin whilst his other hand is urging you closer to your release.

Long digits deep in your velvety heat as he thrusts them back and forth while his tongue laps at your clit, the wet sounds of his mouth working messily against you mixed with the increasingly squelch of your arousal echoing all the way out into the hall where Satoru remains frozen in place. The throbbing in his pants catches him by surprise as he unconsciously reaches for the zipper of his pants in search of some relief from the painful erection straining against them. He knows he should turn around and leave, but he can't bring himself to do so, too enthralled by the sight before him as his head presses against the wall behind him when he hears you reach your high.

Your moans affect him like a siren's melody as he forces himself to swallow his own moans that build in his throat when his thumb circles his tip - red and swollen and leaking with milky beads of precum that he smears along his length before wrapping his fist around his cock. The feel of his index finger pressing against the pulsing veins that fork under it causes a shiver to run from his spine to his feet and he fears his knees might buckle beneath him.

When he peers through the opening again, Kento is rising from his position, glistening with your fluids from nose to chin as he leans over your naked form to pull you into a kiss causing Satoru to pull his bottom lip between his teeth at the thought of what you must taste like on his friend’s lips. Suppressing another moan when he sees him gather your release on his digits, sticky bands of arousal webbing between them before pressing them against your awaiting tongue as your lips wrap around them. Sucking on them while you taste yourself on his fingers before he slowly pulls them out of your mouth where you press a small kiss upon the pads of his digits as you stare up into pools of chestnut that hungrily peer down at you before capturing your lips again.

Hands roaming your bodies while lips lace messily against each other as you reach down to undo his belt, expertly working on loosening the leather while your feet circles around his waist to aid you in pulling his bottoms down as they curve around the band of the soft fabric and Satoru can't help but think how this shouldn't be the first time you've done this to manage that so effortlessly.

Pressing himself against the wall when Kento suddenly pulls away from the kiss to step out of his bottoms that now rested around his ankles before finding your lips again as your hands return to his figure. Trailing up his sides towards his center to start unbuttoning his shirt but he rushes to finish taking it off himself, lips never leaving yours as drool clings to your chins and Satoru has to force down his own drool that gathers in his mouth. Feeling himself get closer to his release when Kento rubs his cock through your messy pussy, gathering your slick while teasing you as you reach down to press your palm against the top of his dick, the veins branching along his length pulsing under your touch before your slowly guide him down to your dripping heat.

The two of you gasping at the feel and Satoru doesn't register gasping along as well until it's already vibrating past his lips, his hand shooting up to cover his mouth as he presses himself against the wall again in the hopes that you two are too submerged in each other to notice. And when he hears your whimpers melding with Kento’s grunts he figures it's safe to peek over again and he internally curses himself for the moans threatening to spill from deep in his chest when he sees your bodies wrapped together, grinding in unison as he focuses on how your pussy swallows his length so eagerly - so wet with the light gusher that splatters against both of your thighs and Satoru finds himself matching the rhythm of his fist with Kento’s thrusts.

Picturing himself behind you and buried deep in your wet heat grinding alongside Kento’s as he bites his other fist when you reach your highs, making a mess of his fist and the floor as long and creamy spurts of cum coat his knuckles but he doesn't stop his fist from tightening around his girth until your whimpers die down, imagining your walls clenching around him milking every last drop of his release into your pussy before he rests tiredly against the wood behind him. Heavy pants echoing through the hall, too spent to care if it overlaps with yours as he thinks he's never cummed this hard before.

“You're as shameless as ever”, he freezes when the words reach his ears, unsure if they are directed at him or at you but when he only hears your giggles echo from inside, he peeks inside only to find your eyes already on him while Kento trails gentle kisses along the side of your neck. Pushing himself off the wall completely as he slowly walks in, cock messy and on full display as he scratches his snow kissed locks with a small chuckle while his other hand rests awkwardly at his side - strands of sticky release webbing between his digits and clinging to his skin. Grinning when he finds your eyes already trailing down his twitching cock before they meet his again, the hand scratching as his scalp circling to lift his blindfold to reveal celeste irises fixated on your own.

“Wanna join?”, your voice coated with honey along with Kento’s eyes also landing on him expectantly only riling him more as his grin widens.

#nanami kento #kento nanami #gojo saturo #saturo gojo #nanami kento x reader #kento nanami x reader #gojo satoru x reader #saturo gojo x reader #nanami kento x reader smut #kento nanami x reader smut #gojo satoru x reader smut #satoru gojo x reader smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader smut #nanami x reader x gojo

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mraprilfools · 2 months ago

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So, I decided to make this a reality. Thank you Zhoumao0-2 for inspiring me. If you see this, I didn't want to mention you out of nowhere since we've never interacted. Without further ado! Title: Just pretend it's a Woman

Summary: Mammon has found a kinship with a recently fallen sinner, Adam. The two enjoy the festivities with Spiked Hot chocolate and building towers of blocks thinking of different words for Dick. Then they ask some of life's greatest questions.

Like is it gay to kiss a man with tits?

Pairing: Adam/Mammon

Word Count: 1.5k

Contents/CW: Adam and Mammon are warnings in themselves, they're both Homophobic bisexuals, Groping with the clothes on, dry humping, kissing, lots of cussing, and there's a dildo bolas for some reason.

“Prolly not! Sides… I spiked the hot chocolate too. Shakier than a fucking roo. Right, let’s make a SECOND dick tower.” Mammon offered, sliding over new blocks. “How do you spell Johnson? S’it…. J-O-N-S-O-N?” Adam rubbed his skull, snatching up an A. “It’s JA-HN-son. So J-A-N-S-O-N. Stupid bitch.”

Full story under the cut.

Hog

Cawk

Dick

Penis

Schlong

Rows of colorful blocks stacked up into a treacherously unstable mountain piled higher and higher. An unsteady hand carefully set the last G at the apex to complete a masterpiece in two men enjoying the dying embers of the evening. The sweet smell of hot chocolate tinged with far too much whiskey gave a nice cinnamon zest that neither seemed to mind. Mammon’s man cave was a treasure trove of delights as any man who hoarded all the world’s riches could possess. Rows of liquor bottles were more for decoration than drinking, golden records, prized memorial items from movies, and items of great historical import. All had been reduced to a mockery for two men to enjoy a night trying to think of as many words for the word dick as possible.

Slumped over the table, Mammon’s whole body trembled with vibrations while he made a nest with four palms to rest his large head. The usually white face shrouded by his mask was pink from the alcohol running through his system. Mug after empty mug collected at two corners begging for the womanly touch to care for two slobs.

“Oi! Adam! Did ye focking spike the hot chocolate?” The Australian hefted up his bright green mug with a cash handle requiring two fingers to slip through comfortably. The once angel, how goatish sinner snorted audibly and put on a guilty lopsided smirk.

“Pfft-- Yeah, DUH! Anyway, Whaaat bout’ Willy? Pff-!” Raspy laughter spilled from the inebriated sinner, a furred first smacking the table trying to contain the mirth that consumed him.

Mammon was far less graceful, pushing himself up with two hands and the last remaining to point Adam’s way. “BRILLIANT! FOCKIN’! BRILLIANT! Willy and Knob too! Can’t forget those two!”

“Wang!”

“Right! Johnson?”

“Shhhiiiit… do we h-have enough blocks for all of those. Johnson would have to go at the… bottom.” Adam squinted, wobbling to and fro.

Adam rubbed his skull, snatching up an A. “It’s JA-HN-son. So J-A-N-S-O-N. Stupid bitch.”

“Oi! Who you callin’ stupid, ya fucking dunderhead?” Mammon retorted, opening two more of his brilliant chartreuse eyes. The blocks were forgotten as he crawled over to Adam’s side of the table, grabbing hold of him by Adam’s black wife-beater. The wobbly sinner snatched Mammon by his wrist, using it as a support while his head rotated. Unable to meet his eyes for a second.

“You! Ya fat fuck!”

“Oh yeah! Say it to my face cunt!” Mammon leaned in, curling his fingers around the thin fabric while his white fuzzy face came within inches of Adam’s. Forcing the goatish singer to meet his eyes, with rots of teeth peeking from his reddish gums.

“Fat. FUCK.” Adam dared, cackling. Mammon squinted each of his four eyes, then shoved him back. Trying to catch himself, Adam clutched harder onto the wrists and sent the large sin tumbling over him. The table beside them jostled, with blocks and half-empty mugs sent flying everywhere. One came and smacked Mammon over the top of his head. A clownish honk rang out in place of his curse.

A great big capital D sat on the floor beside them, taunting them.

Adam’s taunting laughter rang out, arms thrown up over his head as his bright red face stared up at the large sin hovering over him. “Getting on top of another man is fucking gay. You homo.”

“Ya fockin’ shirts riding up showing your belly. You’re the one who looks fucking gay.” Mammon countered, jabbing a finger against the plush and hairy belly. Adam hissed, sucking in his stomach to try and prevent the ticklish sensation from making him laugh. He ultimately failed and shook with laughter. With glee, Mammon's fingers danced along the bare flesh with Adam twisting and squirming beneath. His already red face became closer to the shade of a tomato.

“AHAHAHA! FUCK! STOP IT YOU DICKWEED!” Two against four, Adam had no way to stop the buffet of hands against his unprotected belly. He yanked Mammon forward as his only recourse. The clown's head smacked against Adam’s chest making him arch his body with a loud ‘oof��. Mammon honked a second time, smacking Adam in the face with one of the ears of his cap. “Pfft! Get your shit outta my mouth!”

“You're the one who put me here shithead.” Mammon contested. He raised his head, only to realize that their faces had become close. A long silence passed between the two, with Adam falling back to put a little more distance even while his face was flushing a bright red.

“Kissing other men isn’t gay right? Like if they got tits?” Adam asked, filling his hands with two handfuls of Mammon’s abs. Initially, the clown jolted, not expecting the other to start fondling him. But the sight of the flushed sinner beneath him was enticing enough to allow it. Taking the excuse to fill his hands with an armful of Adam’s abs in return.

“S’long as you close your eyes and imagine a woman and it ain’t gay.” Mammon agreed.

A long pause dragged on, with Adam squeezing Mammon’s tits a second time. His mouth opened as if to suggest something. But he lacked the courage and stuck out his bottom lip in consternation. It was Mammon who ordered,

“Close your eyes, unless you’re fucking gay.”

“I’m not gay!” Adam fired back, grumbling under his breath. But he obliged and relaxed his body. The ringing of money tickled Adam’s ears as the clown bent forward, feeling the warm breath of another tickle against the nape of his neck and his chin. The sweet smell of hot chocolate and the telltale sign of liquor had sent both of them into a pleasant haze.

The knock of Mammon’s lip brushed against the growing scratchy five o’clock shadow on the man’s face, which was decided very unladylike for the imagination. Mammon got another fistful of Adam’s abs to compensate, flaring his nostrils. Growing impatient, Adam snatched the clown by the back of the head and crashed their lips together.

The taste of whiskey and chocolate together melded with the masculine scents of either man melding together. Adam parted his lips to accommodate the multi-colored tongue of the greedy sin, chasing the taste and the slippery appendage dancing around his own. What little breath the former angel had was squeezed out of him by the larger man easing his weight across him. He broke the kiss, panting against the clown’s neck.

“You’re too fucking heavy Mamz.”

“Then you get on top ya fuckin’ pansy.”

“Fuck no, just don’t put all your weight on me. Fucking don’t know how to make out with chicks.” Adam snorted.

“Chicks aren’t so fuckin mouthy. Shut up.” Mammon barked, crashing their lips together. Adam growled his protest, but what fight he had slipped away when he felt that long tongue trace his bottom lip. With his left hand gripping Mammon’s shoulder, he kept him locked not too far to steal his air, but close enough that he could feel the soft plush body against him.

“Mamz...” Adam broke the kiss again.

“What now?” Mammon impatiently barked.

“I can feel your dick pressing against my leg.”

“WELL, your dicks stabbing into my stomach you cunt.”

A silence passed between the two followed by laughter. Then Adam’s pupils danced around as he shifted his groin. Only getting so far as to press that hard length into a new spot in Mammon’s belly.

“Well...” Adam began, raising his hips forward. “Chicks with dicks are hot right?”

Mammon opened his mouth to say something then shut it. A gloved hand rubbed his jaw as he gave it a thought. “Mm, yeah. S’hot. But you gotta shut up. You sound nothing like a woman.”

“Neither do you!” Adam chuffed, he impatiently Mammon forward to meld their lips together for the third time. Taking the lead this time as he sucked on the bottom lip and thrust his tongue between his lips to tangle with his multi-colored tongue. Rather than shying from the heat assaulting their bodies, Mammon rotated his hips chasing the feeling of Adam’s hard-on until their cocks rubbed against each other through the two layers of clothing.

Muffled moans were swallowed by their kisses, with Adam shifting and fighting to yank that ridiculous cap off Mammon’s head. It fell free with a little fight, revealing that fuzzy white face beneath with mandibles. Though the haze of drink, he only thought about it for half a second. Drunken awkward kisses peppered against cheeks, the bridges of their noses, and each other's necks, became an intoxicating dance for the two. It didn’t take long for their self-imposed restrictions to keep things straight and were thrown to the wayside with handy groping to massage and squeeze biceps or paw at the body of the other man.

When the weight of far too many double-spiked hot chocolates made Mammon’s arms noodles he collapsed to the side, gasping for air. All eight of her chartreuse eyes half opened and staring at the sinner beside him. The siren’s call of rest guided each of his lips to surrender and pull his company close.

Adam kept on his back, zoning out and staring up at the wall. There was lingering warmth in the place his body had been covered by another, a pleasant tingle on his lips, and a memory of sweet chocolate and cinnamon.

When his eyes finally focused he found himself staring at the ceiling lamp. A makeshift bolas where they replaced the weights with dildos instead draped over one of the blades stuck and swinging languidly back and forth. The sight of it summoned more immature giggling from the base of Adam’s throat. Heaven stifled his genius for far too long. The large sleeping sin next to him took in a deep inhale and snored like a bear. But that fuzzy face pressing against the crook of his neck felt soft and pleasant. The two sets of arms draped around his body made him feel so secure even if the floor was not the best place to sleep.

Adam decided to roll onto his side, burying his face into the comfortable warmth and softness of the other man as the alcohol in his system did the rest to pull him into the darkness of slumber.

#hazbin adam #helluva boss mammon #greedyguitar #hazbin hotel fanfiction

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onesidedradiostatic · 10 months ago

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VoxVal is just bizarre to me in the specific vein that I personally don't understand why you'd be in a relationship with someone you clearly don't get along with. Both pre-series and in current canon, it's outright said that Velvette is pretty much the only thing keeping them together. Does it still count as going to couples therapy if you're just friends with benefits and the therapist is your extremely unqualified mutual friend being forced to mediate

hmmmmmm I disagree that they don't get along actually.

like yes, vox did express annoyance at him at the beginning of episode 2, but that's because he was called to calm down his tantrum, does that sound enjoyable to anyone? we all have our moments where we're annoyed with our friends. I'd say outside of val's tantrums, they actually get along pretty well. and I don't believe his tantrums make up most of their interactions either.

like come on

does this look like someone he's not getting along with?

this isn't to say they aren't toxic, but they get along enough. and velvette may be said to be the glue between them, but I don't think she's the ONLY thing keeping them together I mean. look. she's probably a millennial, likely arrived in the 2000s-2010s, vox and val arrived YEARS before her. they likely held up on their own for 20-30 years so I don't think they're that unstable.

#ask #osrs.txt #staticmoth #voxval #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox #hazbin valentino #hazbin hotel valentino #valentino #also I'm a blog about a guy crushing on his enemy #in comparison this. this is nothing #being sometimes annoyed with your co-worker and still making out with him is a lot more normal than crushing on the guy you want dead

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sunatsubu · 2 months ago

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Jayvik and time paradoxes

I can't stop thinking about Jayce/Viktor. They're driving me insane, absolutely INSANE. Because everything about them is a time paradox??

This is pretty rambly, I'm just trying to get my thoughts down in my attempt to stop going crazy over them and also just figure out what the heck happened because I'm still kind of confused about some stuff, also I am not very familiar with game lore, mainly just the show.

They circle each other and are so intrinsically linked in so many ways, being both cause and effect to each other's fates. Starting at a random point that ends up circling all the way back:

Jayce and Viktor invent Hextech

Jayce gets drawn into politics as a result, away from Viktor

Viktor gets desperate, experiments with hextech on himself, with Consequences (Sky)

Viktor asks Jayce to destroy hextech

Jayce, unable to let Viktor die after Jinx's attack, fuses him with it instead

This leads to Machine Herald viktor, but not quite; like Pre-herald I guess? Where Viktor still retains some humanity

Jayce gets told by alternate Viktor to stop him from becoming the Herald

In his attempt to do so, he kind of causes/hastens it instead?! (more thoughts on this below*)

alternate Herald Viktor regrets everything and saves baby Jayce/gives him the runestone**

Jayce grows up wanting to research magic thanks to mage Viktor, and cue s1 events that end up circling back to the first point**

*I can't stop thinking about how kind and gentle Viktor seemed when he was trying to help Vander. It really seemed like he was on a path to using his new powers for good, without any sinister effects (though maybe I missed some hints, need to rewatch). It wasn't until after Jayce blew his heart to smithereens that he seemed to start on that path of deeming emotions and humanity unnecessary, solidified when Jayce rejected him to join him as partners again.

**Still trying to wrap my brain around these last two. The existence of alternate Herald Viktor that brings our Jayce to his destroyed world in order to ask him to stop our Viktor - does this imply that Viktor would have still become Machine Herald even if Jayce hadn't tried to kill him? Was it an inevitable thing? Or is this still more time paradox shenanigans, where Viktor asking Jayce to stop/kill his younger self, is both the cause and effect of Herald Viktor? And yet another paradox, Viktor inspired baby Jayce to research magic and ultimately invent Hextech, which is what was needed for Machine Herald Viktor to come to pass. So it seems like there are actually 2 paradoxes related to the creation of Herald Viktor/apocalypse post Viktor's revolution.

These time paradoxes defining their existences makes me think they weren't supposed to exist. Or at least, the ways they so significantly affected the world, weren't supposed to come to pass; Hextech, Viktor's Revolution, apocalypse. So while their ending breaks my heart into a million pieces, it makes a lot of sense. In order to cancel out what they'd do to the world (or just Piltover? this is another point I'm curious about, did viktor's revolution affect ALL of humanity?), they had to erase themselves from existence. It's so. romantic and tragic, but not really on both those counts? Like somehow deeper, too deep, to put such simple labels on. Honestly I don't even really know how to describe what their story makes me feel.

Bit of a tangent, but one interesting anomaly is the alt timeline Ekko was in. So Jinx would always be an important factor in Jayvik's fates since her attack almost killing Victor is the catalyst for a lot of things. Mage Victor says Jayce is the one thing across all timelines that could stop him, implying there are MANY timelines where Herald Viktor comes to be. Which thus means in all those timelines, Jinx is the unstable mess we know and love, the one who would attack the council. So that makes it interesting (and kinda gutting because its like Jinx is destined to suffer in most timelines) that Ekko's alt timeline was most likely rare in its stability, where despite Vi being gone, Powder is relatively happy and the world (Piltover/Zaun) is quite peaceful.

This is a seemingly random segueway, but Jayvik very strongly reminded me of the german show Dark. (WARNING FOLLOWING IS MAJOR SPOILER FOR THAT SHOW)

A completely different genre and story, but both are about two people whose destinies are so linked together throughout time and alternate universes, but weren't supposed to exist. And they could only save the world, allow it to go on untouched from the devastating effects they would have on it, by taking themselves out of the equation.

#jayvik #arcane jayce #arcane viktor #arcane spoilers #dark spoilers #mypost #league of legends

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richeeduvie · 7 months ago

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Some business adversary sending Baby flowers to piss Roman off because that will have him overthinking nonstop? Yummy

I like jealous and possessive Roman please 🙏

They would be an asshole. But, an asshole who have given us a completely jealous and unstable Roman Roy at the soul possibility that someone likes you.

Even then, the card attached to the bundle of lilies is vague, like it could be a thanks, a business-coded praise. But Roman's just focusing on how they aren't. Basic fucking roses. No, whoever this fucko is trying settle in your hole by denying the standard. Fucking-just pick roses!

"Come on, man. It's going to make the Roy Boy piss himself."

"He's going to find out it's you and you'll get a shitstain on your reputation with Waystar...and Co."

"I'm going with vague so I don't get my dick pulled by HR if the air of mystery escapes me. Not that it's effective with me, even though Roman Roy seeing 'your ass is addictive and I want to eat you out, also good work on that presentation I came to' would uh...put him on the news."

"Stick with 'thank you for everything you do.' Yeah?"

"I just said I would, fuck-"

You're confused as to why Roman would send you lilies. He knows your favorites are lotuses. Who it could be? Who knows.

"Who are you fucking?"

You sigh with a slight smile along your lips. You wish you could be thankful for the flowers, but now you'll have to deal with a harsh, bleeding Roman who won't accept any answer, any explanation or comfort until he realizes he needs it like he needs to breathe.

But you won't toot your own horn that much.

"You? I think, unless you have a twin. Shiv doesn't count-"

"Who have you been giving your ruined pussy to? You're a fucking whore, is batting eyelashes a talent for you or? Whatever it takes to get to the top."

"I was already on top last night."

Roman closes his eyes with a grip to a chair.

"Who did you flirt with recently? Business-bound slut. How have I not noticed your vagina has turned itself to a blackhole?"

He won't accept any comfort now, so you won't give it to him. It'll speed things up.

"Your cock has either grown forty inches or those custom dildos are doing the job. I don't know."

You take a sniff to the decorated lilies, pretending to not mind the way Roman tries to palm himself, but doesn't. He just looks hurt. And aroused.

And your senses in smell and sight break at the sound of the bouquet hitting the floor. There's a small crack.

"Roman, lovingly, what the fuck?"

He's casually slapped the flower vase to the floor, looking casual in the mouth, but harsh and needy in the eyes are brows.

You sigh, you'll speed it up for both of your sakes. It's not good for him to feel like this. Especially over something that means nothing.

You rub Roman's shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

Even in silence, Roman somehow gets more quiet. He's not looking at you, but his eyes are soft when he does.

"Who the fuck are these from?"

You kiss his temple.

"I don't know. Genuinely. I don't know who they're from. I haven't flirted with anyone and in fact, I don't think I've conversed with anyone I don't regular converse with in the past two weeks. It's probably an adversary fucking with you. If it was say...Tom or a an associate, I think they'd put their name on it."

"...Why would this be the thing to fuck with me?"

You look to where he doesn't look, to the flowers thrown about.

"I don't know if the reason is that obvious."

"It's not to me. But whoever sent those is going to get dirt and dick shoved down their throat."

You play with his hair. Lightly and lovingly. Selfishly.

"I'm betting on it."

#inbox #hc's #drabble #dog and bone!au #roman roy x reader #succession fanfiction

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heretyc · 1 month ago

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Thoughts on Barbi with someone who age regresses? 💕

You got it! 👉😊👉 [< finger guns lol] This'll be interesting! I apologize if I get anything wrong in terms of regression, I'm going off of what I already know <3 the regression in here is trauma based, if that's okay.

So Barbi by default is, I'd argue, "regressed" constantly. I wouldn't say he's age regressed, but moreso he takes pleasure from acting like a younger age due to how "protected" he feels. This is because of his unstable relationships with mother figures, and the last mother figure he had, the relationship was purely sexual. He's definitely lacking in the loving childhood department.

Barbi would view age regression as just that; regression, and it should be protected. He wants protection and stability, surely you'd want the same thing? So he'd be like your guard dog of sorts. Guardianship titles would be welcomed; I could see him being a "daddy" seeing as how dominant he can be, albeit he can be childish, if we take his "crying" into account. I suppose your bond would be deeper that way, seeing as he both understands you and is your guardian.

The way he treats you depends on how far you regress; if you're a child age, so, like...let's say 5 or 6, he'd be amused by you. He'll hold your hand and keep you safe, that's a guarantee. If you're any younger, like newborn, infant or toddler, he'll lend you his pacifier. Odd, right? And it isn't like there's a shortage of bottles and milk...they're EVERYWHERE.

And because your regression was caused by childhood trauma, he feels even more inclined to be there for you. He's capable, even despite his childlike tendencies; he has his Lupara and he even ran a damn mob. But you? Hell, you can't even count on your fingers when you're regressed, so he feels like he's responsible.

Much like when he, himself, gets attacked, he gets incredibly offended if an ex-pop hurts you. "You'd stab a BABY?" is a common thing he yells when you come to him with stab wounds.

Murkoff isn't a very forgiving place, but when you two happen to be in the same trial, he'll tend to you for a while. Murkoff doesn't care how long your trials are as long as they're finished, and Barbi isn't one for following rules, so he WILL make them as long as he possibly can.

One trial lasted for 12 hours...because he made you take a nap with him. And you were clingy. You can't take him away from his baby, that's a sin!

#outlast #outlast fanfiction #outlast x reader #the outlast trials #outlast trials #franco barbi #franco barbi x reader

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estellardreams · 6 months ago

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Spiritrune - Weird Route [Audio Edit]

Attacking everyone below!

@somemismatchedsocks

@emthimofnight

@6larosie9

@silvers-starrway

@ekaycheem

@einelitas

@yellowvixen

@polkychu

@zhampip

@totaleclipse573

@sonlc

Skaerial

Lunateaq

Attack info below for everyone

Nymph - Royal Wrath

A huge slash attack using the dark staff. 70% TP. Deals 355 damage.

Tulip - Cyber Corruption

Decimates enemies through blast using electric acid. 85% TP. Deals 575 damage.

Camellia - Blue Flame

Uses powerful blue flame towards enemy. 60% TP. Deals 400 damage.

Mallow - K Slash

Slashes in a lethal movement of amputation and decapitation. 90% TP. Deals 670 damage.

Rosemary - Chaos Curse

Forces magic instability on enemies. 70% TP.

Orion - Chaos Vein

Pulls pure chaos energy out of body and forms it into a weapon. 56% TP. Deals 120 damage.

Estelle - Rainbow Crash

Unleashes corrupted Harmony magic. 100% TP. Lethal.

Meredith - Ocean Core

Uses tainted water to pierce through enemies. 85% TP. Deals 800 damage.

Maria - Chaos Crash

Shifts form into supercharged rocket and pierces through enemies. 100% TP. Lethal.

Arthur - Dual Slash

Two slashes back to back. 55% TP. Deals 440 damage.

Naomi - Windstorm

Conjures up a tornado while serving as the conduit, tornado strength up to EF3. 90% TP. Lethal.

Rime - Snowgrave

Creates a snow blast that freezes enemies to death. 100% TP. Lethal.

Keira - Chaos Scythe

Charged up Scythe strike. 70% TP. Deals 600 damage.

Juice - Psychic Flash

Uses psychic magic to shatter the mind of the enemy. 100% TP. Lethal.

Stellar - Chaos Break

Snaps all powers in half for enemies but doubles power of allies in return. 90% TP.

Terios - Chaos Shard

Uses unstable chaos energy embedded into their body to attack. 100% TP. Lethal.

Sunshine - Flashbang

Blinds enemies. 45% TP.

Sakura - Poison Bloom

Uses pollen from flowers to poison enemies, depleting their hp. 24% TP. Deals 50 damage.

Kaiko - Flower Curse

Changes all plants in the vicinity to damage everyone around them, including allies and themselves. 40% TP. Deals 50 damage.

Azarael - Tsunami

Conjures up huge wave of water to crash onto enemies. 90% TP. Deals 900 damage.

Okay, doing mini "best strategy" mode here. Let's see…

So… Anyone below Keira on the list is a guilty character, while the group between her and Meredith is defiant. So keep defiants to a minimum and don't do any possible guilty characters. We also need to keep the weird routes below eight, because if we hit that limit we're entering hard mode so we're gonna try to avoid it.

Now… For starters, our best pick for special attacks is definitely Estelle, whom is our only lethal attacker who isn't a defiant or guilty.

It would also be wise to weird route Mallow as well, since she holds the other highest damage count besides Estelle in the stronger group.

That's two weird route characters… But what if they're downed? Also, they're on different teams. It's pretty much impossible to have both on the same team so for our other weird routes…

Rime and Meredith.

Let me explain: We still need to keep in mind our controllers aka those who are manipulated by the player that would be much better but pose an extra problem: Heavy resistance. There's a reason they're controllers due to a high amount of determination without being determination at all, which is why both Maria and Naomi aren't favorable to weird route despite how tempting two lethals are. Not to mention… They're both seafoam, leaving only Estelle as a Stardust weird route character.

At least with Rime and Meredith it's balanced 2 v 2, and four characters is plenty to spare the rest. Not to mention, although some are connected trying to weird route them requires other characters (ex. Stellar and Camellia) which would affect BOTH characters. This runs the risk of losing a base powerful character while only making the middling strength character a bit stronger and deadlier.

With these teams in mind… Our most efficient team match-ups are:

For seafoam: Maria, Mallow, Meredith. Maria is, despite being warrior class, pretty much a tank. Mallow is the main attacker, while Meredith is both a reliable healer and heavy hitter.

For stardust: Arthur, Rime, Estelle. Arthur is the usual knight class, Rime is our warrior, and Estelle the Mage. Pretty balanced by party standards but in terms of power we now have two LETHAL LEVEL attacks on this end. This is incredibly busted, too.

(Yes you can switch out who you want in the fight. It's a mechanic in the game. It's also a free turn and you can do it as many times as you want. BUT if whoever you're swapping with took damage, that damage will carry over to whoever you swapped them with.)

But anyway… What would everyone else do for their parties? I'm curious!

#Spiritrune au #sonic #sonic au #digital art #sonic fanart #deltarune au #artfight #artfight 2024 #🌸mine

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levana-stark · 7 months ago

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Ferrari, what are you doing?

I went through the depths of the Internet (I surved through Wikipedia) to figure out if it is only our feeling that Charles gets fucked over by Ferrari on a regular basis, or if there is actually a pattern since Sainz and the Pasta Mafia entered Maranello. Here's what I found out:

Let's start with the first two years of Charles at Ferrari:

2019 & 2020:

Of course, as he was new to the Scuderia and a top team (and his teammate was Sebastian Vettel) the Qualifying and Race head to head of the first half showed a clear advantage for Seb (with the exception of Bahrain, where Charles was simply flying until Ferrari quickly brought him back to reality...), but ever since France he kind of started to find his footing. And I think we've never talked enough about his run from Spa to Russia - we never shut up about it actually -. In the end they're seem on pretty equal footing in 2019 and even the Ferrari Fuck ups (marked in red) were pretty equal.

In 2020 Charles pretty much whiped the floor with Seb (as far as you could wipe the floor at all in that shit box Ferrari called a car in 2020), and despite how slow the car was and how much Ferrari was bullying Seb to leave the team, there was not much Ferrari Fuck Ups in general...

So the count of Ferrari Fuck Up - Counter between Seb and Charles was 5:6 - so pretty equally messed with by the red team.

But then things changed when Carlos (aka the Pasta Man) joined the Scuderia Ferrari:

2021 & 2022:

Firstly we have to seperate (or not) between the Mattia Binotto Era and the Fred Vasseur Times.

After the 2020 Ferrari was slower than this year's Haas, people could have at least have a little hope that Ferrari was a bit better in 2021. Not championship winning, but better.

And as we can notice, at the beginning of the year, the only thing that let Carlos finish ahead of Charles, was if Charles had a problem (or beef with other drivers on track) The turning point seemed to have been Monza (ouch...), when the Pasta Mafia Tax finally paid off and even then Charles finished ahead of Carlos more often than not... But still Apart from Ferrari hating the hard tires (surprise surprise), there were of course only mechanical issues when Charles was either leading the race or would have started on pole...

Ferrari Fuck Up counter: 6:3 in Carlos' favour.

And then... 2022. The year of the beautiful F1-75, a car that looked like it could finally bring the championships back to Maranello.

(as we all know...) The season started for Charles in the most perfect way. The car was fast, perfect and the hopes were high. Okay, Carlos was struggling a bit in Australia and Imola, but finally the car is fast. But then the Pasta Mafia - Binotto Tax kicked in again and while Charles tries to stay ahead in the championship... The cars quite literally keeps dying underneath his ass, whenever he's leading the race.

He loses the Championship lead, as Binotto and Sainz Snr. openly admit to shit on the championships and develop the car so it suits Carlos more (which evidently makes the car slower), then the Race-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named Silverstone 2022 happened and Binotto wagged his finger and Charles threatened to leave the team if nothing changes in the team. (Leading to Binotto being fired eventually) But for the rest of the season the Pasta Mafia is still stong. The strategies in Garage 16 stay questionable, but despite all of that Charles keeps leading the Quali and Race head to heads.

Still: Ferrari Fuck Up counter: 8:4 in Carlos' favour. (Still double the issues in Charles' garage...)

And while Binotto was leaving Ferrari, he left the team with one last gift: the SF-23...

2023:

This time the year already started with mechanical issues for Charles, while the car was unstable and unpredictable, which lead to him pushing more and more, which led to him making mistakes. And the Ferrari Fuck Ups don't let up in garage 16, even if he seems to be able to cope better with the SF-23, leading both head to heads comfortably (i wonder why....)

It becomes even more noticable, when the Suzuka floor leads to the start of Charles incredible front row start streak since Austin (but since you can't have nice things when you're support Charles Leclerc, we just completed the triple crown of shame with it - having a DNF, DNS and DSQ in one season). But still he didn't give up, fighting to give Ferrari P2 in the championship after all, but Carlos seemed to have given up.

Ferrari Fuck Up counter: 9:4 - this year it's even more than double the issues in gaarage 16....................

2024:

2024 started hopeful, Ferrari seemingly had the second fastet car, the championships are finally a fight once again, but for some reason even Fred Vasseur can't stop the issues in Charles' garage. From Brake Temperature Imbalances to Ferrari still not prioritising the Championships in favour of a driver that will leave the team at the end of the year and while yes we FINALLY broke the Monaco curse, but afterwards it seemed like everyone (but Charles maybe) stopped working in Maranello.

Let's hope Charles did whatever he did Post-Silverstone 2022 and something finally changes in that team.

All in all Charles always had more Ferrari Fuck Ups in his garage, but with Seb it was pretty equal with 6:5.

With Sainz it is a whooping 29:11 problems, that lead to Charles losing many points and potentially even the Championship in 2022.

It is going to be interesting how 2024 progresses and if there will be a noticable change once the Pasta Mafia leaves Maranello again.

#Scuderia Ferrari #Charles Leclerc #I'm noticing #race analysis #formula 1 #what the fuck is going on in garage 16??#Anti Sainz #you are warned.

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undead-cypress · 7 months ago

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More p3r livebloggin/shitpost thoughts. Sorry for the crunchy pictures, literally I'm just too fried to import pics from my PS4.

Because I'm the way that I am, I noticed the paintings hung in the Hierophant/Lovers boss shadow building are real paintings. One on the left is a crop of Liberty Leading the People by Eugene Delacroix, and on the right is Le Cyclops by Odilon Redon. IDK why they picked these paintings because. Why would a painting of the French Revolution be in this kind of hotel but I have some theories?

The hotel they're in is pointed out to have a French title and modeled after French design, for some reason. Les Champs de Fleurs is pointed out in the game meaning a field of flowers. Now -

Liberty Leading the People is a painting about the July revolution that overthrew the French monarchy. The boss event is in July but there's more -

Le Cyclops is about the play(s) about Polyphemus (the cyclops from the Odyssey that Odysseus blinds and tricks) and his love of the sea nymph Galatea, and the drama that ensues. There's many versions of the play but in classic fashion most of them don't end well, with Galatea rejecting him in favor of someone else, and Polyphemus killing them both. This painting in particular is basically Polyphemus creeping on Galatea as she sleeps on a hill of flowers.

I THINK these paintings are meant to represent the reverse hierophant and lovers. Overthrowing of the corrupt hierarchy, and rejection of choice. Also French.

There's one more painting but I have NO IDEA what painting it is

So many paintings have winged babies in them I can't go through them all 😭

Oh yeah linguistics bonus - the boss event takes place on 7/7, aka Tanabata. Some might know it as Japanese Valentine's day. Story goes Orihime and Hikoboshi, lovers separated by duty and the milky way, can meet during this festival as a flock of magpies make them a bridge over the milky way. Milky way, in Japanese is Amanogawa 天の川, literally "river of heaven". An older version is also sometimes used, ginka 銀河, derived from Chinese meaning "silver river". And here is where we get the name of Shirakawa Blvd. 白川...... White River Blvd.

I THINK that's why they named the hotel Champs de Fleurs. The classic Greek mythology of heaven is Elysium, basically a field of flowers in the sky. Kinda as the companion to the river in the sky. Not to mention it's a reference to the famous French street Champs Élysées, literally "Elysian Fields"

Imagine me standing in front of a conspiracy wall covered with red string. That's me all the time with p3

Ok back to shitposting

This is the most emotion I've seen the Mc make all game so far 😂 7 meals back to back will do that to ya. Name I picked was Dank Hour, so I guess it kinda fits. Munchies will do that

Those are her hooves!!

OH MY GOD. HOLY SHIT HANG ON

These puppets are massive

Gameplay thoughts -

- I miss the fatigue mechanic ok. Now there's NOTHING stopping me from spending five hours in Tartarus getting massively over leveled. Also miss it thematically and an excuse to go drink Edogawa's potions for courage boosts

- RIP shuffle time. The new one is good with the variety of cards but man make them fly around again that was fun

- Tartarus looks good. I was skeptical of how they're gonna make a randomly generated dungeon look good on current consoles but. It looks really good and plays well. And I love the added bonus bosses.

- I do miss being able to actually stealth around with different weapons and hunting rare shadows with a bow though. The unstable formations in p3p around half and new moons were also something I wish they incorporated, but maybe it'll come up later? Because the new Tartarus environment would be perfect for some stealth mechanics.

- I don't know if this is because I'm p3 Georg and an outlier that should not be counted but I'm playing on merciless and it's SO EASY???? I'm almost to August and I've ONLY died three times. I'm playing with a 3 people party as a debuff because it's too easy otherwise.

- ailments kinda work different than they used to and I still haven't figured out... What they really do yet. Distress used to guarantee criticals, now I'm not sure what it does???

- the theurgies are broken as hell wtf. This is too much power. I was really hoping they'd bring P2/dds style fusion spells back

General thoughts:

- they still haven't invented weather yet lmao rain was invented in 2011 I see

- Pleasantly surprised by the added cutscenes and hangout events in the dorm. They're actually pretty thoughtful and reflects on the character growth throughout the game instead of just ill humored filler (cough p4 cough). They really nailed it this time.

- Aigis trying to talk to plants and bugs and the meaning of lifeeeee 😭

- the club is simultaneous hilarious and terrifying in the way that they didn't animate the dancers. I get why, but it's so funny. It's just a room of statues with blank faces. At least there's more than five people there

- there's two poster of the Foo Fighters in the station outskirts. Why them specifically? Also if the movies at the theatre have hidden meanings I WILL find them.

- Mitsuru just stands like she's posing for the camera all the time and her idle AND angry animation being a hair flip is so funny. Hello. Flips hair. Come to the command room after dinner we have new mission. Flips hair. I'm going to execute Mr Ekoda for his despicable inaction. Flips hair

- Idk where else to put this but that scene on the roof with the watermelon hits different when you know a watermelon that size in Japan is, depending on the season and economy, at least $50. Junpei really splurged there to cheer up Ken 🥺. That entire scene was great. Why DON'T we watch Akihiko punch the melon open, what an inspired suggestion

- speaking of fruit, if you look at the care package Akihiko got from his parents there are mangoes in there. Mangoes that size and color are like $30 each.

- the dorm. Could be modeled better. Idk if it's the lighting or the textures but... It looks unfinished.

- they kept the little overworld icon that travels between locations to not go over the bridge even though it'd be a shorter route. Nice. There is an instance where it does use the bridge, when you first go to the police station and Junpei is following you around. Also very nice touch. Whichever dev is responsible for this detail I see and appreciate your work 🫡

- was not expecting even the NPCs to be fully voice acted. They're all so charming!

- at the beginning of the game it tells you to put your things away in the closet. Highlighted. But we can't open or interact with the closet in any way??? Why was closet highlighted??? Did the game do that just to call us gay??

- and also where's my silly outfit???? Everyone has gotten butler and maid outfits except the mc. Where's my goofy outfit I want one too.... Where's the clown outfit from the dancing game.... Where's the maid outfit.... Once my pc arrives I'll absolutely be installing the emo mod. Let my besties reveal their true 2009 forms

#p3re liveblogging #p3re spoilers #depression simulator reload 2024

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