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[justkillingthyme]

When Desmond mustered up the courage to come to the Layton home for dinner, he didn’t expect to have Lucille be quite this frazzled.

He wasn’t too sure what to expect, honestly.

———

Desmond has a very awkward dinner with the Laytons post-Akbadain

[jjtheresidentbaby]

hi hi <3 hope you're doing okay :) can u do a cg!rafe cameron x little!reader where reader gets minorly wounded, like after falling from their bike or something, and rafe patches them up? thank you <3

˚. ❝₊˚ sunburnt ❞ ˚₊·

» rafe cameron x reader

» a/n: I have an extremely bad sunburn rn so that’s what I went with hope you don’t mind

» warnings: rafe is rubbing product on reader’s back while they’re shirtless but it’s in no way nsfw, talk of the pogues watching over reader, little!sarah mentioned, cg!kie & cg!pope mentioned, cg!barry mentioned, post canon, pet names

You wince as Rafe helps pull your shirt over your head, revealing the worst sunburn Rafe has seen since Sarah got near second degree burns when they were kids, he winces right alongside you. Given for different reasons; you hate the feeling of the material sticking your your skin and causing even more pain to the tight skin, and Rafe because seeing just how bad things have gotten without him around pulls on his heart strings.

It was only a week. One week with the pogues, Sarah acting as your main caregiver but having to have Kie take over when Sarah slipped halfway through the trip you guys took to the mainland. It was- an eventful week, to say the least. Kie and Pope stepped up and were much better at applying sunblock regularly than Sarah in her own regressed state, but the damage was already done and both Kie and Pope looked more than worried when they handed you off to Rafe two days ago. You’re a little surprised he didn’t go off on them then and there.

“Hurts.” You mutter when Rafe runs his hands gently over your back, the way your skin is hot to the touch cause even more worry in Rafe’s mind. He really doesn’t want to have to take you to the hospital.

“I know baby, I’m sorry. I’m gonna apply some coconut oil and then we can go lay back down.” You’ve found the coconut oil works better than the aloe as it leaves your skin moisturized for longer.

“M’kay, can we watch a movie?” That’s all the two of you have been doing for the past two days.

By the time you were driving back to Rafe’s after being away from him for a week you were so homesick Jj had to keep his legs thrown atop yours so you wouldn’t try and climb to the front of the van to get John B to drive faster- it’d be an embarrassing moment to think of if it wasn’t all worth it when Rafe came into view as you rounded the corner to Tannyhill and saw Rafe sitting on the porch waiting for you. The house is technically his and Sarah’s but with Sarah spending almost all her time at the rebuilt chateau, it’s basically just Rafe’s place that acts as storage for some of Sarah’s stuff.

“Course, what do you wanna watch?” Rafe asks and rubs some more oil onto your bare back, making sure that he’s being as careful and soft with his touch as he can be.

“Moana?” A small smile creeps onto Rafe’s lips as he nods along.

“Didn’t we watch that yesterday?” You shrug.

“I like it. Can we ask Barry to come over and watch it with us?” Rafe is obviously your favorite person while you’re regressed but Barry is a close second, and the both of them together is perfect to you. They never fail to make you laugh just by the way they interact with each other and the sidebar jokes Barry shoots your way as Rafe tries to dismiss every word he says.

“Sure, sweet thing. Do you need him to pick up anything before he comes over?” You shake your head and lift your arms when Rafe comes to slip your shirt back on, it’s actually his own but it’s loose and cotton so it’s more comfortable on your skin.

“Not even some fries from The Wreck?” A quirked brow gets sent your way and you quickly scramble to climb into Rafe’s lap before he can pick up the phone to call Barry.

“Wait- wait, yeah fries, get fries.” You plead and Rafe hums along with an arm slipped around your waist to make sure you won’t fall off his lap.

“You sure? You just said you didn’t want anything… Barry will be here quicker if he doesn’t stop-.” You cut Rafe off with a serious look on your face that he finds undeniably cute.

“I lied, I want fries. I don’t care if Barry takes ten hours to get here, I want those fries.” It’ll really only add ten minutes to the route for Barry to go into The Wreck and order some food to-go.

“Okay, okay, I’ll make the call.” He soothes and grabs his phone as you lean back into his chest with a content sigh. Your back doesn’t hurt as bad as it did when you first came home and spending the day with your favorite people will help you forget just how much you missed Rafe in the first place.

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 41

ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 38, part 39, part 40

“We’re back,” Wayne calls when he steps through the door. Holding it open for Eddie, who is  insisting that he can walk through by himself. Which he can, his muscles are fully capable of that now. It’s the pain that’s the problem.

At least, that’s what the doctors say. Eddie’s muscles have grown back to the state they were in before the coma. He was fully healed from that regard. It’s what put him in one that’s the larger problem. The lifelong problem.

Eddie has nerve damage. In his legs, in his arms, and minorly in his abdomen. It will affect him for the rest of his life. There’s no official healing from this. Nothing they can do.

All that can be done is find ways to cope with it. Get Eddie the aids he needs for the days his legs are weaker. Keep growing his muscles, so they get stronger. Help regain his balance. Learn to move around with different walking aids.

But none of it will cure it. Eddie will never walk the same again. He’ll never live the same. His life is forever changed.

“I got it,” Eddie snaps. Pushing Wayne away. Forcing himself to walk on his own. With his crutches. A wince with each step.

They offered to let them borrow a wheelchair, but Eddie refused. Wayne tried to push, but there was nothing he could do to change Eddie’s mind.

Eddie slams his bedroom door, locking himself in. There’s the faint whisper of music that sneaks underneath the door. Loud and angry. Wayne’s surprised the radio isn’t turned all the way up, making the house shake. The last time he did that though, it caused Steve to have a migraine. The kid was too nice to say anything about it, Wayne was the one that had to remind Eddie of the rules.

This was not their house, he couldn’t just do what he wanted because he was angry. He could be angry all he wanted, Wayne was to, but he couldn’t hurt people because of that.

“I’m guessing it didn’t go well.” Steve stares down the hallway.

He shakes his head. “It’s a lot worse than we hoped.”

Steve lets out a deep exhale. “Dustin’s here, I’m going to give him a ride home and then we can talk about this before you go to work.”

Wayne nods. His body heavier than he left. His world a little darker than it was before. This wasn’t life ending. He should be grateful for that.

He lands in the kitchen, pulling a beer out of the fridge. Downing it faster than he’d like to, and grabs another. Savors this one. Sits down at the island and watches the condensation form.

Ten minutes later, Steve comes back. Grabs a beer of his own and sits next to Wayne.

“The kid ok?” Wayne takes a sip.

Steve shakes his head. “Came here in the middle of a panic attack because I wasn’t at work. Thought I had another migraine. I didn’t know he cared that much about them.”

“That kid loves you, of course he cares about them. He cares about you.”

“I showed him the book,” Steve says with a long sip of his beer. “We agreed to talk about it more often, so it doesn’t happen again. Hopefully that will make it better for him.”

Wayne nods along. “Hope so.”

A clock tick in the background, filling the silence. The only sounds Wayne can hear is the ticking, and the music coming from down the hall. He might be mistaken, but he can almost hear the quiet sobs Eddie’s trying to hide.

“Be easy on him tonight,” Wayne says. “It’s going to be a while until he gets used to this.”

“What did they say?” Steve’s voice sounds hollow. Already anticipating the bad news.

Wayne swallows. “He has permanent nerve damage.”

“Fuck,” Steve exhales. He wasn’t ready to hear that.

No one was.

Sometimes the world likes to crowd Wayne with all his problems. Wave after wave after wave. Never a gentle stream, where the water keeps moving. Where the problems spread out evenly, so they aren’t as overwhelming.

No, Wayne’s life gets hit by tidal waves. All of his problems coming together at once to knock him down and suck him out to sea. Making him swim back to shore, just for it to happen all over again.

“Yeah. We had to order different crutches, the ones that go around the forearm. And a cane. For him to have options. His muscles aren’t the problem, it’s the pain. The balance. He’ll need them for the rest of his life.”

Wayne finishes his beer. Gets up, had to. Because he has to be at the plant in an hour for a shift he doesn’t want to go. He wants to be here. With his kid. To go through this change together.

He’s run out of sick days and PTO. He’s run out of favors. Every missed shift is a write up, and Wayne is so close to being able to afford a house. So close to getting them a real home. One that they’ve dreamed about but knew it would never be a reality.

Now, they were so close. And there’s this house that he has his eyes one. That he’s two weeks pay out from being able to afford. If they take his offer. It’s so close.

So he has to go. He has to. To make their lives better. To get them back on their own two feet. So life can get to their new normal.

He gets himself ready for work. He leaves the house and does his job. Clocks out after eight and a half excruciating hours and comes back home. Drags himself up the flight of stairs and falls into bed.

When he wakes up, there’s an argument in the kitchen. He can hear the yelling through the floor. He gets up to go deal with it.

“Well stop hovering and we won’t have a problem,” Eddie yells.

“How was I hovering?” Steve yells right back. “All I asked was if I could get you anything.”

Eddie scowls. “I can get things for myself, thank you very much.”

“It’s my house. Do you even know where everything is?”

“I’ve lived here for three fucking weeks, Harrington, I know where things are.”

Steve crosses his arms. “Fine then. Go get it yourself. I was just trying to help.”

“I don’t need your help all the fucking time. I’m not fucking helpless.”

“Fine,” Steve snaps. Pushing himself off the counter and toward the door. “I won’t help then.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

Steve brushes past Wayne. So used to their fights now, he doesn’t even care that Wayne overheard. He shoves his shoes on and slams the door behind him. Going out to clear his head.

Wayne sighs. This has been happening more and more. Eddie won’t take help from either of them, but he hates it more when it’s Steve. Steve’s able to fight back in the way Eddie wants. Him finding the right nerves to get under his skin. Hurt them both out of anger.

He was sick of it. There was a fight almost every day now. Over something stupid. Over Eddie’s pride mixed with his pain.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Eddie grumbles when Wayne enters the kitchen.

“Too bad.” Wayne crosses his arms, fed up. “I’m fed up with your shit.”

Eddie glares at him, tears in his eyes. He pushes himself off the stool, grabbing his crutches. “I said I don’t want to hear it.” He walks down the hall and slams the door. Locking it behind him.

tag list (closed): @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,

@tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda,

@fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77,

@here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium,

@resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly,

@gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight,

@devondespresso, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @cheertain, @anti-ozzie, @autumncrocusandladybug,

@greeniebean911, @cr0w-culture, @stillfullofshit, @connected-dots, @daisynotquake,

@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,

@papergrenade, @waelkyring, @sweetheartprincess28, @katouasobj, @astercomoasflores

[absolutelymarshmallow]

This is my favourite scene in the show

I never noticed how complex Crowley’s outfit is in this scene. There’s red embroidery, a black sash. The rob itself is supposed to be rough, heavy, grey.

However, in the first scene in the show, Aziraphale’s robes are light, white, cotton, gold embroidered, and two-pieced. A poncho, and a skirt. His outfit is supposed to look generic, like an angel uniform. Heaven adopted this odd, manufactured, cold neatness after the fall. 

Crowley’s outfit after the fall is more like a dress. It’s being held together by the black sash. It also looks more fitted to his body, and this makes me suspect that he made this himself. The Color scheme is also fitting to his hair.

Crowley had always been naturally dramatic, everyone knows that. However, I think this is his first minor ‘fuck you’ to hell. The heaven Color scheme is grey, white, tan, gold, and primarily purple. However, before, it was primarily gold and white. Aziraphale has ways opted for golds and whites as well, but he also has a love for browns and blues. This is how you know it’s a heaven uniform.

Hell’s color scheme in the beginning is yet to be observed but it’s probably not grey, black, and red. Those are all Crowley’s colors.

He’s been separating himself from hell since the very beginning. I say *first* ‘fuck-you’ because he had been wearing these robes before he gave humans the apple: an accidental good deed, the original good-natured rebellion.

Aziraphale has been accidentally doing ‘bad’ (or minorly negative) things since the beginning as well. He got caught up trying to save an angel, he gave away a sword, and most importantly he the concept invented war and weaponry in the human history.

I think this scene’s importance gets lost on a lot of people.

Aziraphale shielding Crowley is also very, very important, no matter how adorable. He, at this point, remembers Crowley. He looks guilty, nervous even, when he sees him slither up to him. Not just because he’s a snake, but you can see there’s something small and personal that he’s trying his best to hide. I think he knows.

Then, he learns his name for the first time, it just happens to be his demonic one. He never mentions his angel name, *never*, because he doesn’t know it. But more importantly, he doesn’t want to offend Crowley.

And yet they have a meaningful conversation, which is !also! very important. The first time he meets him as an angel,  Aziraphale looks like he’s flustered and smitten. He fell first, literally and figuratively. However,  Crowley isn’t at all interested in making conversation with this angel. He’s just excitedly talking about stars. Which, I admit, is adorable, but it wasn’t in any way of meaning other than that’s when they met.

Aziraphale realises how this *new* first, important conversation is utterly vital, in their relationship. Crowley is interested in Aziraphale, and he *does not remember him* at *all*. To Crowley, he’s lost all his memories now, which he regains later over a few millennia. I suspect, he’s regained all his memories by the book of Job, which is why he acts how he does.

Crowley falls in love immediately. Angels, fallen or otherwise, have shown him nothing but disrespect since he fell. And here’s this Angel trying to help him. Aziraphale indeed has guilt, but seeing someone he knew like this, wiped clean and ‘disfigured’ (or, beautiful), makes him realise what the fall actually *was*.

Just think.

An innocent star maker. And now he sees Crowley, the *real* Crowley. He’s witty, and fun, and outward. He’s making conversation, he’s comforting, he’s sarcastic.

He’s a real being.

And how neat.

So, he holds on. He shields him. Like he was shielded before, equally innocent and new to the universe, as Crowley’s now new to earth.

He sees himself.

Aziraphale is a lot more mature with how he treats Crowley in the beginning than people realise, but he loses that later once they start forming their own side, also in the book of Job.

Emotions are complicated. I know I’ve been talking for a long time, but I think it’s neat is all.

[gnreadergames]

Find Something to Wrap Your Noose Around (pt 1)

Miguel O’Hara x gn!reader

Plot: Miguel gets tapped with a poison that makes him feral. His relationship with the reader is a stake…but neither want to give up that easily.

Cw: Angst! It gets better in later parts though…

WC: 2820

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

There was a harsh slam from the front of the apartment.

From your place in the back bedroom, folding fresh laundry, you jumped. Miguel must be home. He must’ve had a bad day.

Lyla confirms your suspicions when she pops up next to you, giving you half as large of a scare.

“Jesu-“ you clutch your heart, “Lyla you can’t ju- whatever- is he alright?” You ask, quietly as you can because you know Miguel will pick up anything he can focus on across this apartment and even through the walls with his heightened senses.

Lyla shakes her head, and your stomach drops. He’s either pissed or hurt. Or both.

You abandon the laundry to seek a more important goal.

You find Miguel clutching the kitchen island. His knuckles are torn through the suit, something hard to do with the nearly impenetrable fabric. You can see other tears littering the surface of his torso and powerful legs. You swallow.

It’s never usually this bad.

“Miggy…” you say, quietly. “What happened honey?”

He doesn’t respond so you decide to gently, slowly reach a hand out to touch his shoulder. But before you can even make contact he whips around towards you and leaps with a feral snarl.

“MIGUE-“ you can’t even get through the scream of his name before he’s on top of you, red eyes glowing and fangs popping out even longer than they usually seem. His talons sink into your thin flesh and for a minute you genuinely think you’re about to die, here on the floor of Miguel’s kitchen on some average Tuesday.

Lyla has thought ahead though, and at that moment a light flashes in your peripherals a swirling portal of blue and orange. Before you can turn to look, the weight of Miguel is thrown off you to the side and a loud crack echoes across the apartment as his back meets the side of the island with a harsh dent.

Three people hop out of, what you can only assume, is a portal.

A tall man with brown hair, a 5 o'clock shadow and a small red headed child strapped to his chest, a very pretty very pregnant taller woman, and a smaller girl with blonde choppy hair all fold out in a line.

You’re still not sure what’s happening, and your brain is on too much adrenaline to think of anything other than the immediate danger right now.

Somehow, your sweet, caring, and sometimes grumpy boyfriend has become some sort of…feral killing machine.

You realize suddenly that you’re practically hyperventilating as Lyla stands over you and snaps a few times, calling your name.

“Y/N…Y/N!” She says. Her glowing form is painful to look at right now but not as painful as the shallow cuts on your arms from Miguel’s claws. You belatedly realize you’re bleeding when the younger blonde woman comes over and crouches beside Lyla to inspect your arms.

“Peter, they’re bleeding.” She calls back to the man, Peter, you assume. You glance in that direction to see him and the other woman standing over Miguel.

“What's happen-“ you try to sit up but your head spins.

‘Minorly concussed’ Lyla explains. Which also explains why you’re pretty sure you’re seeing other Spider-people right now.

Unless everything has just suddenly gotten weird.

It seems it can only keep getting worse though, as it’s then you realize that Miguel could be getting back up any minute. You turn your head sharply with a twinge of hot pain up your neck as your heart rate spikes at the thought of the experience you just had happening again.

Your fears are quelled though once you see that Peter and the other woman, Jess, you learn from the blonde one talking to her too, have Miguel in some sort of cuff like contraption he struggles against.

He’s also muzzled. You’d almost laugh if he hadn’t tried to kill you a few minutes ago.

The baby on Peter’s chest babbles and yeah, you’re definitely seeing things now because this is just so bizzare you can’t imagine how you had gotten dragged into this.

Suddenly, a large and lanky man with a scary looking Mohawk of spikes steps through the still glowing circle in your wall.

Lovely. More of them.

Peter and the man talk for a second and then you see the scary man look towards you.

No. No.

Whatever is about to happen you’re not on board with it as this strange man hoists you bridal style like you weigh nothing. You’d attempt to fight back if you had any strength left in you, but the further you get towards the glowing portal the more your brain begs for sleep.

As the man steps through, you drift off into a dream.

-

You wake with a start.

The first thing you notice is that your headache is much, much, worse. The second thing is that you are pointedly not in your own apartment.

You were hoping the thing with Miguel was just some sort of fucked up bad dream but judging by your bandaged arms and throbbing temples, it was all real.

The blonde woman is sitting in the corner of the room, a white and sterile looking place that you’d assume to be a hospital room if you couldn’t see an absolute amalgamation of spidermen, just like Miguel, milling about outside the glass wall on your left.

Your jaw drops.

What is happening.

Are you suddenly crazy? Have you seriously gone mad? This has to be some sort of psych ward if this is what your brain is coming up with.

The blonde woman notices your consciousness. She has another young man with curly hair beside her, a similar age you guess from their similar build and height.

“Hi, how are you feeling?” She asks as she stands from a chair and walks to your bedside.

“Am I going insane?” You ask.

She blanches at that, obviously not expecting it.

“Um- no you’re not. This is all real. My name is Gwen and this is-“ she gestures to the boy, “Miles. We’re assigned to watch over you until you wake up and are feeling better.”

You swallow. That explains almost nothing.

“But- what is this place?” You look back out the window.

“Oh! This is HQ.” Gwen says, like that means anything to you.

“HQ for what?” You say.

That seems to make it click for Gwen. “You mean…Miguel didn’t tell you?” She quirks an eyebrow seemingly genuinely confused that Miguel wouldn’t share his involvement in…whatever this is.

“No- no he hasn’t mentioned anything. I mean, I know he’s Spider-Man but there’s like- a million of you…” you drift off, shifting to sit up in your bed.

Miles laughs from behind Gwen. She shoots him a look and he blushes looking down at his feet.

“Well not a million but- yeah there’s a lot.” She says. “This is HQ for the spider-multiverse.”

“The what?” You ask, still confused.

“You know what let me just-“ she sighs and pulls up a watch on her wrist. It’s identical to the one Miguel used to wear around his arm back home. He’d always been shady about it but now you know why.

“Lyla, help me out here will you?” She asks into the watch. The familiar glowing figure pops up and it sends such a pant for homesickness into your heart that you almost want to cry. She’s an island of normalcy in a horrible sea of crazy right now.

“Hi, Y/N!” She greets in her constantly chipper voice.

“Hi…” you repeat. Gwen slips the watch off her wrist and holds it out to you. Gently, you clutch it in your hands as Lyla explains the many, many, thousands of worlds and Spider people in them. The information is shocking enough but most jarring is the fact that Miguel has been running it all almost 24/7.

You knew nothing about this.

For a brief, fleeting moment you feel slightly betrayed. He didn’t trust you with this, so what else could he be lying about?

But then you remember where you left off with him. A spike of fear shoots up your aching spine.

“So where’s Miguel?” You ask frantically, looking between Gwen, Lyla, and Miles for an answer. None of them seem to have one for you.

“Let me get ahold of Peter…” Gwen says as she lifts the watch out of your hands. You twiddle your thumbs nervously, the movement of the muscles sending tiny waves of pain up your arms.

Gwen finishes whatever call she turned to make with this Peter guy and spins back around.

“So, this is going to sound weird.”

You laugh.

“This entire day has practically flipped my world upside down. Hit me.” You deadpan. Miles laughs again but Gwen huffs a snort with him this time.

“So, currently Miguel is being held in our prison sector.”

Your heart drops.

“Why? Is he okay?” You shoot off questions faster than she can answer as you sit further and further up in the bed.

Gwen holds her hand up to slow you down and you take the signal, snapping your mouth closed.

“Ok, well here’s what I know.” She starts. “Miguel got some sort of poison from his last battle. It reacted badly with his DNA that’s part Spider and he’s currently pretty feral. That’s why he attacked you. They have him in an impenetrable cell in the holding area and he’s been muzzled for his own safety.”

You cannot believe this.

Those scratches, they must’ve been really really bad to cut through his suit like that. That must’ve been why he had come home in such a foul mood, he wasn’t thinking straight.

He must’ve been out of his mind completely when he attacked you.

“They’re working on an antidote, hopefully it’ll be ready soon.” Gwen says with a small smile. It does little to cure your nerves but it’s still nice of her to try.

Miles pipes up finally from behind her. His voice is soothing.

“We can take you to see him.” Miles says.

Gwen really does shoot him a look then. You giggle to yourself. It reminds you so much of you and Miguel’s relationship. If these two aren’t together they probably will be soon, you think.

“I’d like that.” You say, standing from your bed.

-

They were right. Miguel isn’t himself.

He’s huddled up in the furthest corner of the red block. The cell borders are reinforced, so you don’t fear much when you walk up to crouch next to the front wall.

Miguel smells you or senses you, something along those lines, because the minute you rest on the balls of your feet, his head swivels like a snake around to fix you in that terrible red gaze.

His eyes are practically glowing as he barrels towards the wall you’re at and slams his full body weight into it. His talons are out, clawing furiously and futilely at the screen. If this cage was even half as sturdy as it currently is Miguel would’ve killed you by now.

You can’t imagine what would make him act like this, even if his primal instincts are being tapped into. You’re his partner. Surely even in such a state Miguel would recognize you?

Apparently not, as Miguel also attempts to bite at you through both the muzzle and the wall. You sigh.

There’s something cold and unsettling about seeing him this way. He’s barely ever gotten angry at you, has never once blown up on you and it’s absolutely unfathomable that he would ever lay a hand on you. So now, seeing this side of him, it breaks your heart.

“He’s a little crazy right now.” A man’s voice says from behind you. You look up from where you’re sitting cross legged on the ground to see the same man from before, Peter, standing with his hands gently bouncing the smiling baby in front of him.

You can’t help but smile as the little girl lets out a joyous giggle, even as Miguel still tries to claw his way to you from inside the cage. You’re glad it’s soundproof, you’d probably have to leave if it wasn’t.

“You know him?” You ask. Peter takes his cue and sits next to you with a groan as he saddles his body down into the same position. You feel that same sensation, painful joints and now painful muscles with your injuries. You can’t imagine throwing the exhaustion of a kid into the mix.

You won’t lie though, you had thought about it. Miguel had mentioned a hypothetical child once or twice, but you could tell it was something he wanted more than anything. And before all of this, you would’ve given him what he asked for in a heartbeat. Seeing Miguel as a dad would’ve made you the happiest person in the world.

“Yeah I know him.” Peter finally answers your question. “I’m like his right hand man. Or I was at least. Maybe his left hand man now that I have this one,” he tickles the soft tummy of the girl and she cackles with glee. You smile at them.

“He never mentioned any of this.” You say.

“He never mentioned you.” Peter says.

That breaks your heart a little, but you don’t let it show.

On the other side of the screen Miguel has seemingly given up on trying to kill you, at least for now. Tiring himself out seems to have mellowed him slightly as he now sits eye level with you, panting and crouching in anticipation.

You sigh.

“How long will he be stuck like this?” You ask. You don’t expect an exact answer, not wanting to get your hopes up.

“I…I don’t know. We shouldn’t have let him go home like that. It was our fault you got hurt. Jess and I-“ he must mean the other woman you surmise “-we thought he lived alone, and even though he doesn’t get cut often we had no idea the anomaly could do that.”

“You couldn’t have known.” You say, trying to comfort him a little, even though you feel slightly hollow.

“We’re working on it though. We’re gonna fix this.” Peter says with a new determination. You smile half heartedly. He stands suddenly, renewed with more energy than he sat down with. “I’m going to go check on that antidote. You’re a little better right?” He gestures to your arms.

You nod. It’s the best you can give him in this situation.

He nods back and walks towards a large hallway opening.

You turn back to Miguel.

The area in which they have him housed is empty and large. His cage stands in the back part of the room. As far as you can tell, it’s just you two now.

Your arms still hurt, but your head has gotten better with some walking and Tylenol.

“Miggy…” you sigh. There’s so much built up stress just from the past few hours that it makes your entire body tense. You lean forward and place your hand on the glass-like substance.

Miguel’s eyes flick quickly to it and for a second you see a look on his face that seems almost like himself again.

It shocks you when he puts his hand back up to the glass mirroring yours.

You tear up.

“Miguel.” You beg. “Please, please come back.”

He doesn’t seem to understand, and the moment passes, as he licks his fangs through the muzzle. His talons pop out and he begins clawing where your hand just was again. You sigh.

It was worth a shot.

You stand, pushing yourself up of the ground. “Okay, we’ll- if you’re like this there’s no point in me being here.”

You turn to leave, maybe you can find Gwen and ask her to get you some food. You have a suspicion you’re going to need more Tylenol to-

“Y/N-“ a ragged voice says from behind you.

You whip around.

Miguel, your Miguel stares back at you. His eyes are wide and terrified but it’s definitely him even if it is for just a split second.

As quick as it’s there, it’s gone. Whatever is overriding his system comes back with vigor as you race towards the cage and press yourself desperately against the glass.

“Say it again- Miguel, please, say it again-“ You are breathy and panicked. He’s in there. Somewhere.

Miguel, the feral one, continues to paw at where you stand with his nails.

“I’m going to get you out.” You press your forehead up against the glass and look into his eyes.

There’s a sound from behind you and Gwen’s voice echoes from the doorway.

“Hungry?” She asks as you quickly pull away.

“Absolutely.” You say, following her.

As you leave you glance backward. Miguel stands, watching you leave.

You’re going to get him back, even if it kills you.

[xxnashiraxx]

WIP Wednesday - Kinktober Teaser (2)

I don't want to reveal this prompt yet because I'm still working out the kinks (haha I'm so funny), but it may be giving itself away here a little bit. Or it could still be mysterious!

I am hoping to post it this weekend, maybe Sunday in lieu of a WSTFMD chapter since the release schedule changed. It all depends on how I feel after I get back home from visiting relatives (and if I actually finish by then)! But the good news is I have 2,500+ words so far and I've barely even scratched the surface of the smut, so there's that to look forward to if you so choose. 💕

Enjoy! (subject to chaaange minorly)

“Astarion… what happened? Are you okay?” She asks, watching his head cock to the side as he listens to her. Her worry blossoms into unease as he remains silent, taking one careful step toward her. She feels the hairs on the back of her neck raise in response, but she holds her ground, careful to keep him cradled in her gaze as she notices two other large masses of fur behind the one he’d been hovering over. God, he’d taken down more than one? Her heart aches for him and as she refocuses on him she notices he’s covered the gap about five feet, so close she can see the stillness of his chest and the light wounds over his skin more clearly. “Please talk to me-” He snarls and she clamps her mouth shut, eyes widening. It’s too late to get away. He’s too close- too fast. He’ll be on her in a moment, and for some reason, he isn’t recognizing her. There’s an animalistic gleam to his eyes- sharp and keen as a predator tracking its prey. She feels her throat close and her pulse speed up frantically, watching in horror as he scents the air and gnashes his teeth. Shit. She turns on her heel despite every hiking guide she’s ever read telling her to always back away slowly- they always say that, what is she thinking? “Okay- I’m sorry! But can you please snap out of it? I can’t run faster than you!” She shouts over her shoulder, cursing her stupid sandals as they obstruct her leaps and bounds. She tears off in the direction of camp she has a vague recollection of, though truth be told, she’s too turned around and shaken by her lover’s strange shift in behavior to recall which way she’d come from. She can hear him behind, footfalls light but deafening in the quiet of the trees. She heaves for breath, lungs burning, terror closing around her rapidly beating heart. He’s so close that she can smell the blood in the air and the scent of his perfume, beckoning to her. She chances a glance, instantly regretting it when she trips over a tree root and falls flat on her stomach into the damp soil and leaves. “Ah!” She cries when he overtakes her, chest pressed against her back and hands closing like a vice over her arms as he holds her down. It hurts, especially the way his knees pinch her waist and her wrist bones grind together, gasping for air under the weight of him. Her cheek is barely cushioned by her hair and she looks up at him, eyes wide as his eerie, vacant red orbs spear through her. His lips part to reveal his fangs, the pair at the bottom elongated to match and shining in the dim light from above as his blood-stained tongue flashes over them. She’s never felt so afraid- every nerve ending wired and circulating adrenaline at the speed of light. “Astarion, please,” She pleads, whimpering when he tightens his grip on her arms. He lowers his face until she can feel his frigid breath against her neck, moist and fanning over her ear and upper back. He growls, low and gravelly, before opening his jaw wide. “No!” She shuts her eyes, bracing for the killing bite, but it doesn’t come. His lips find the mark he’d left her with earlier in the night, mouthing at it as a soft whine leaves his throat. He’s… never made that sound before… She shivers when his fangs press over the indents and his hands start to unclench, body slipping over hers until one knee presses between her thighs and nudges them open. Oh.

If you guys have anything you'd like to share! 💕 I crave your writing!

@khywren @verbenaa @inkymoonbunny @ladyduellist @kalmiaphlox @justabiteofspite @elinorbard @preciouslittlebhaalbae @roguishcat @pinkberrytea

[augustvandyne]

Could you write a Tim Bradford x reader where she is at a bank when it gets robbed. Worried Tim knowing she's inside and then all the comfort when he gets to her. Maybe she gets minorly injured somehow or maybe has a panic attack. TYIA!

yes yes yes!!!! i wasn’t even expecting anyone to send stuff in this early, but i’m excited to write for tim

panic attack

Today started like any other day.

You woke up beside a sleepy Tim, who ushered you both out of bed the second the both of you woke up. Although, you always made him lay with you for an extra hour.

It annoyed you most of the time, the waking up early, but you loved him anyways.

Today, you hated him for it.

You weren’t able to convince Tim to stay in bed to snuggle this morning, due to him being called in early for some follow up interrogations on a case from the night before.

It had him come home late last night, and you were asleep before he got home.

So you’d only talked to him this morning, for all of ten minutes.

To keep your mind off missing Tim today, you thought you’d do some laundry, clean around the house, made yourself breakfast.. but you’d done all that within the first two hours of the day.

You then realized you still had a check to cash at the bank, and when was a better time to do it then today, on your day off?

That was the mindset you had until you walked into the bank, a terrible feeling in your gut.

You shoot Tim a message that you had went to the bank, in case anything had happened to you. That was one thing Tim asked of you in your relationship—was to know you were safe. Not only because he’d seen things in his line of work, but also because he loves you and wants to see you’ve messaged him.

You send it to his city issued phone, that way if he didn’t have his own phone on him, he still knows where you are.

Tim was already on the way to that bank by the time you messaged him, but it was too late.

A friend of the robber had called in a tip to the station, and Tim signed him and Lucy up for it immediately.

He prayed you weren’t inside yet, but that hope died the second he saw your empty car.

Lucy has to get Sergeant Grey involved in calming Tim down, because he’s freaking out that bad.

He loves you so much. Ever since Isabel, he didn’t think he’d ever love anyone as much as he did her—but he does, and more.

Shots are fired, and he puts his thoughts aside, going into police mode. He’s going to treat this as if it were any other day.

You on the other hand, were freaking the freak out.

You hadn’t had a panic attack since you were a teenager, and you forgot how bad they knock you down.

You feel like you need an inhaler, but you don’t carry one around you anymore.

You were smart on your feet as soon as you heard the first shot. You took in your surroundings, and moved to behind the counter.

The robber was on his way behind the counter when you heard LAPD and SWAT enter the building.

You could hear Tim shouting orders, but Nolan was the one to get him to drop the gun and to calm the robber down—or so everyone thought.

Just as everyone thought the guy was gonna give up, he grabs you from behind the counter and pulls his second weapon out. A small knife, maybe used for fishing or just used as protection.

He doesn’t hold it to your neck, so they make the decision of shooting him.

When he falls to the ground, he makes a shallow slice in the side of your abdomen, to which you’re wincing about on the way out.

“Cmon, baby, lets go,” Tim is the first to your side, but everyone gives you sympathetic looks before attending to the other victims.

You let out a shaky sigh, still in the middle of your panic attack.

“It’s okay,” Tim rubs his hand over your face to wipe your tears to which you lean your full weight on him. Mentally and physically. “It’s okay. Come on, let’s get you checked out.”

“Tim-“

“I’m right here,” Tim holds your hand as they patch you up.

Your injury is minor, so all they have to do is clean it and put a bandage over your side.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

When home, Tim won’t take his eyes off you, and you seriously doubt he’ll go in to work tomorrow, knowing the “condition” you’re in. Tim’s words, not yours.

He has you laying your head on his chest and the television on with your favorite show.

There’ll be a lot more panic attacks, and a lot of begging Tim to do all the banking from now on, but how can you deny your love for this man?

He’s holding you even when it was just a tiny run- in and a little cut!

[piniatafullofblood]

disclaimer: these are just my raw feelings and immediate reaction because I’m feeling really hurt and sad about this and I can’t talk to anyone irl about it. this is a vent post, not me genuinely trying to psychoanalyze this ending in good faith.

mha 430 leak spoilers and the uncut unfiltered feelings of a physically disabled teenager about it

oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god okay.

so I’m fifteen, right. I’ve been caring about this show for 1/3rd of my life. I’ve been caring about these characters sometimes more than I care about irl people for. 1/3rd of my life.

and I’m physically disabled. I’ve been physically disabled my entire life, it wasn’t like an accident or anything. (minorly, but it’s obvious when you look at me and I was raised in military/christian spaces during childhood so it ended up affecting me a lot.) and I’ve always seen quirklessness as an allegory for disability. that’s always been what it meant to me.

and from the beginning I was ready for it to be about conformism, right? like if you only conform and work hard enough and bend over backwards to meet the expectations of society you can succeed. that’s what I’ve known that this show was about ever since the training montage in episode one. I had made myself content with the fact that the narrative is sort of pro system, pro police, pro stfu and cope. and the first time I watched it, I recognized the ‘greatest hero’ vs ‘number one hero’ line in episode one. I knew that that would probably be how it ended. but I really, really, wasn’t prepared for this.

he.. failed.

his stint with a quirk, in the limelight, was for a year and a half while he was in highschool. he never got to be a hero. he’ll spend the rest of his life thinking about ‘that time when I got so fucking close’. people will stop remembering him for the sports festival and by the time he’s a teacher he’ll have to show them old clips from it to explain why he’s teaching at a hero school.

and he did it all perfectly. he did it all perfectly. as soon as he was given a chance he trained hard and fought harder, and put in all the work to become a great hero. he analyzed and trained and thought and worked and he did everything right.

and then in the end he wasn’t able to keep it.

I was ready for the ending to be about conformism. I wasn’t ready for ‘you will never be fucking good enough, and if you weren’t born with an advantage, you won’t suceeed.’

although, maybe I should’ve been, with the ‘all men are not created equal’ talk in the beginning. I wasn’t ready for him to fail. out of all the anime’s I’ve watched, Izuku midoriya was the protagonist that deserved to win the most. he deserved to be happy. he did everything right. this is all he ever wanted out of his life.

and now he becomes a teacher, and has to watch from the sidelines as Bakugo succeeds without him. which is never what anyone wanted, much less Bakugo. we’re back at the beginning, back where we started. Katsuki succeeding and being great and Izuku watching from the sidelines and cheering him on. and maybe it’s much less contentious now, and maybe they will both know that Izuku is more of a hero, but that doesn’t fucking matter. from someone who had the consolation prize of moral dignity their entire life- it really, really, doesn’t change anything. it doesn’t matter. that doesn’t change the reality that he’ll spend his days watching all their fights on TV and he hasn’t seen the rest of the class for eight fucking years. I know that there are alternative ways to see the ending. I know this is probably not the intention horikoshi had with this ending. but this is how it impacted me and I’m not gonna stop saying it. once a fucking cripple always a fucking cripple, or whatever.

I always knew it would probably have an unsatisfying ending. that it might hurt me. that the cultural differences would probably only lead to my over sensitive ass being hurt and sad. but I wasn’t ready. he deserved better. izuku deserved better.

[xdarkestdesirex]

Calamity - Hide x f.Reader

Volume Two

Calamity (n.) a great misfortune or disaster

You think you're just like every other 18-year-old girl: just starting college, living alone, and working at a cute cafe, except you aren't because you're a ghoul. Trying your best to blend into a world that isn't your own, and then you meet him. Hide. He's unlike anyone you've ever met, and you slowly fall for him. But will it ever work between the two of you? He's human, and you're not.

This writing contains highly sensitive topics like violence, gore, mental illness, talk of suicide, death, smut, and other mature themes. Reader discretion is advised.

word count 13018

prev

“Watching you ghouls pretend to be human makes me…”

-Tokyo Ghoul Volume 2 #015 Mother and Daughter by Sui Ishida

TW: TALK OF SUICIDE

——————————

It’s been a few days since Nishiki attacked us. Thankfully, everyone had healed, and Hide didn’t know what happened. We told him some driver had fallen asleep behind the wheel and crashed into us and that Nishiki was the only one who was injured badly, so Nishiki was brought to the hospital, and since we were only injured minorly, Touka took us to Anteiku.  Since that day, we have offered Kaneki our full support, and he has finally accepted. So here he was, at the cafe, learning to make coffee from Mr. Yoshimura. They were in the back room, away from customers, so they didn’t disturb everyone with their lessons. 

I held my place behind the counter as Touka was out on the floor taking orders and cleaning tables. Usually, we would alternate jobs with each shift, but I loved making the coffee, and Touka didn’t care for it as much. So she let me do it most of the time unless she didn’t want to deal with people. The door flung open, and I sent a gleaming smile towards the door, welcoming the new customer who had entered Anteiku. 

“(Y/n)!” A loud, excited voice said. Hide came towards the coffee bar and sat right in front of me. “Is Touka here?” He asked me.

“She’s with a customer right now, but I can call her over when she finishes,” I smiled towards the bright boy.

“Could you? I want to thank her for helping us since I couldn’t before I left the other day.” When I first looked at the blonde-haired boy, I could feel his kindness oozing; these small encounters we’ve had so far have only confirmed that feeling. 

“We were fortunate she was in the area. I mean, what are the odds?” It indeed was luck that brought Touka to that part of town. I’m not sure what would’ve happened if she wasn’t around. I don’t think Nishiki would kill us, but Kaneki was losing it, and he could’ve killed Hide or all of us if his hunger was that bad. And I was useless—a weakling who could barely fight back. 

“Oh, and (Y/n), I would also like to thank you.” Hide leaned his cheek into the palm of his hand and stared at me with soft, caring eyes.

“M-me? What did I do?” I could feel the flushness overwhelming my face from how he looked at me.

“For a split second during the accident, I regained consciousness, and the only thing I remember was you throwing your body over mine.” Huh? Was he conscious during that part? He wouldn’t be here now if he knew of other things. “It’s embarrassing that I got knocked out so quickly.” The blonde sweat dropped, “I would’ve liked to be the one protecting you.” 

“O-oh,” My eyes turned towards the ground, and I spoke softly, “I would gladly do it again.” 

Looking back up, I saw the plum-haired girl glaring daggers at the male before me. She doesn’t like him, huh? Well, she doesn’t like that he’s a human. Nonetheless, I waved the dark-haired girl towards us, and she begrudgingly made her way over. Once she stood beside me, I told her Hide wanted to say something to her and then walked away to give them privacy while they talked. I didn’t want to be rude and welcome myself into their conversation, so I stepped aside to let Hide adequately thank Touka. But I still watched the encounter. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but Touka seemed genuinely shocked that he was thankful for her helping us. I know deep down she has a soft spot for humans and wants to be accepted by them, but with the way this world is, it’s better to have a hard exterior. 

When they finished talking, Hide approached the small table I was cleaning up and leaned back into one of the chairs with his arms crossed behind his head, flashing me his biggest toothy smile. He opened his mouth to say something when a voice called out.

“Hide!!” Kaneki says, “What are you doing here?” Kaneki makes his way towards us. It seems Mr. Yoshimura is satisfied enough with his coffee-making skills to send him out to the bar. 

“I stopped by to see you in that uniform!” The blonde gestures to the dark-haired boy’s outfit. “You look great, dude!” Hide chuckles a bit as he looks over his friend. 

“H-Hide,” Kaneki said, looking embarrassed for Hide to see him in his Anteiku uniform. “You should probably order something if you’re just going to sit there.” 

“Oh, right! A cappuccino!” Kaneki took out his notepad, wrote down the blonde boy’s order, and walked away to start making his coffee. Hide leaned into me before I could follow the dark-haired boy and whispered, “Could you make it for me?” I chuckled and assured him I’d watch over Kaneki as he made the cappuccino. 

Behind the coffee bar, I watched Kaneki nervously perform all the steps to make his friend’s cappuccino. Brewing the beans, steaming the milk, making the foam, and then decorating the coffee. He honestly did an excellent job with little direction from me.

“He better not find out,” The purple-haired girl says lowly.

“Huh?” Kaneki and I look at her with a confused expression. 

“Hide.” Her violet eyes drift to the boy she mentioned, “He better not find out you’re a ghoul.”

“H-he won’t!” Kaneki swore.

“And you,” Toukas’s violet eyes turn towards me. “He better not find out about you either.” 

“Touka, you know I’m cautious. He’ll never find out.” It’s painful to think about the fact that he could never know who I really am. I could get to know everything about him, but he could only understand parts of me and a fake me. 

“If he ever finds out about us,”  The young girl glares menacingly towards Kaneki and me, “I’ll kill him.” 

“Touka,” I glared at the girl. “There’s no need to talk like that. He won’t find out.” I grabbed the coffee sitting on the counter and walked past the girl. Her words made my blood boil. We’re trying to live cohesively with humans, but it won’t work with her mindset. 

I went over to Hide’s table and placed the cup before him. “Kaneki made this.” Hide pouted. The look on his face was quite pitiful, and I wanted to reach out, ruffle his blonde locks, and tell him it was okay. But I didn’t. Instead, I said, “He did, but I watched Kaneki to ensure he made it properly.” 

The blonde boy grabbed the cup and took a careful sip. He seemed to hold the coffee in his mouth for a moment, taking in the flavors from the bitter bean and then swallowed. “It’s not as good as yours,” He sticks his lip out in a pout again, “And I was hoping for another heart.” 

“I’ll make it up to you next time,” I say. 

“I know how you could make it up to me,” The blonde boy suddenly took a serious turn. The joking tone of his voice was gone; he spoke sincerely, causing a chill to run down my spine. “Let me take you on a date.” His olive eyes stared into my (e/c) ones, trapping me in his gaze. 

He wants to take me on a date? Like an actual date? With me? WHAT!? OHMYGOADDD.

“Yes!-” I mentally cringed at myself and cleared my throat, “I mean, I would like that.” 

*

All I could think about for the rest of the day was Hide asking me out on a date. He told me he would text me with details later tonight. I wonder what kind of date he’ll plan. Hopefully, he doesn’t want to take me out to eat. I would still eat if we did, but I would hate feeling sick on our first date. Maybe I should tell him I would like to do an activity? Would it be too pushy if he said he would plan it? No, it doesn’t matter what he plans. I’ll be happy just to be with him. I can’t believe I’m going on a date with Hide!

*

Once the day was over, Touka, Kaneki, and I were in the back room of the cafe where Mr. Yoshimura put together a basic sandwich. He wanted to teach Kaneki how to fake eating food so that he could blend back in with humans, and then he could go out and ‘enjoy’ a meal with Hide again. The older gentleman took a decent-sized bite from the sandwich, swallowed it quickly, and pretended to chew and swallow again. The dark-haired boy stared at him in astonishment, wondering how Mr. Yoshimura could even stand the taste and texture of the bread. Or how the older man could keep a look of enjoyment on his face without showing a hint of disgust.

Mr. Yoshimura handed the sandwich to Kaneki, and I watched as the boy hesitantly grabbed the food. Slowly, he took a bite and tried to eat it but quickly doubled over, spitting the food onto the floor. He over-explained how terrible the food tasted, causing the rest of us to laugh at his dramatics. I grabbed the slice of food I’d never been able to enjoy, pulled Kaneki’s attention, and told him to watch me closely. Slowly taking a bite, I swallowed, chewed a few times, and then swallowed again. The whole time, Mr. Yoshimura went into more depth on how a ghoul should pretend to eat and what the rules entailed.

Rule one: always swallow the food immediately so you can’t fully taste it.

Rule two: pretend to chew for about 10 seconds, looking and sounding like you’re enjoying the food, and then swallow more obviously. 

Rule three: don’t forget to throw up afterward so you don’t get sick. 

While discussing how a ghoul pretends to eat, my mind drifts off to thoughts of my date. If we go out to eat, I feel like I’ll be too nervous to eat correctly and might slip up on how the food tastes awful. Maybe I should practice until then? It’s been a while since I’ve gone out and had to eat a full meal of human food. Usually, when it comes to eating, all I have to ingest is a few bites and not a whole plateful. If he took me to a restaurant, it would be rude only to eat a little. Not to mention how terrible I would feel for the kitchen staff if I didn’t take in what they cooked. 

While I was lost in thought, the door to the cafe opened, and a mother and her daughter walked through. The mother had long chocolate brown hair braided to the side and wore a button-up blouse and a long floral skirt. The little girl had short brown hair and hid behind her mother. Her deep brown eyes lit up as they met my (e/c) ones. 

“(Y/n)!” the little girl said excitedly, running towards me. I swooped the child into my arms, picked her up, and hugged her. 

“Hinami!” I squeezed the young girl and then sat her back down, giving her a once-over, “Look how much you’ve grown!” I pretended to wipe tears away from my eyes. Hinami and her mom, Ryoko, haven’t appeared in Anteiku in a few months. They’ve been in hiding because Ryoko’s husband was working with a dangerous ghoul. It was nice to see their faces again. After greeting Hinami, I moved towards Ryoko and hugged her. The chocolate brown female has always been like an older sister to me, and I strived to be kind and gentle like her. After we pulled away from each other, Ryoko glanced at Kaneki and smiled at him.

“Are you new?” She said sweetly. 

“Oh, yes, I’m Kaneki,” He bowed when greeting the mother. Then he turned towards the little girl and greeted her as well. Hinami stepped back behind her mom and hid from the dark-haired boy’s gaze. I couldn’t help but giggle silently at how cute the little girl was when being shy. 

“Ryoko, let me walk you guys upstairs,” I said.

After saying bye to Kaneki and greeting Touka on our way out of the cafe, I took the mother and daughter to Mr. Yoshimura’s office. I didn’t stay around as I knew they probably had important things to discuss, and I also wanted to give them space for when they would eat. Ryoko didn’t mind being around others while eating. She loved sharing her meals with others, but Hinami was still shy and liked to eat alone. As I closed the office door behind me, my phone went off, and I glanced at the text on my screen. 

Hide:

This new arcade opened up, and I would love to take you! Does Saturday at 15:00 (3:00 pm) work for you?

A smile graced my face as I read the message from the blonde boy. An arcade? I should’ve expected that from him.

——————————

After a long week of nerves and anxious waiting, Saturday had finally arrived! It was noon, and I had just gotten out of the shower and started my skincare routine. Cleanse, tone, serum, moisturizer, and SPF. When I finished washing my face, I applied a light layer of makeup. I’m not the best at putting on makeup, so I usually avoid it, but for occasions like this (or unless I look dead), I’ll apply a little bit: a thin foundation layer, a little concealer, some bronzer, and highlighter. Then, I brushed some mascara on my lashes and nodded at my finishing look. 

I made my way back into my bedroom and opened my closet. What should I wear? I want to be cute, but I also want to be practical since we’ll be at an arcade. I opted for a tight-cropped, short-sleeved shirt. It was plain white with two black lines going down the sleeve and then a pair of black track pants with an orange stripe down the sides. Then, with the weather on the colder side, I grabbed my orange oversized puffer coat and finished the look with a pair of white chunky sneakers. I then threw my (h/c) hair into a half-up, half-down due and accessorized myself with some earrings, bracelets, and a few rings on my fingers. To complete getting ready, I applied deodorant to my underarms and sprayed perfume over myself. The clock read 13:30 (1:30 pm) when I was ready. Great, now I have to sit here and wait for an hour and a half. 

To waste time, I sat nicely on my bed, not wanting to mess up my outfit, and scrolled through my phone while it sat on the charger. The next thirty minutes went excruciatingly slow when my phone dinged with a text message. It was Hide saying he was impatient and on his way to Anteiku. He’s lucky I got ready early.

When I stepped out the cafe door, the bright boy standing at the end of the stairs greeted me. In return, I offered the bubbly boy a slight wave and walked towards him. He wore his usual yellow and black track jacket, a plain white tee underneath, and light-washed jeans. The only thing missing was the orange headphones around his neck.

“(Y/n)~” The cheeky boy’s gaze took in my form, “You look so adorable!” Hide’s slender fingers pinched my cheeks, and I quickly swatted away his soft hands. My eyes lightly rolled at his dramatics, but a smile blossomed on my face nonetheless. I did feel cute today and secretly catered my outfit to something I thought he would like. Since the blonde boy is more bubbly, likes bright colors, and gives sporty vibes, I chose something that slightly portrayed those things but also dressed in a way that screams me. 

“And you’re a dork,” I retorted. The blonde boy’s face scrunched together, wrinkling his soft features, and threw a hand over his chest. 

“You don’t think I look sexy!?” Hide gasped.

“Sexy!?” The word tumbled out of my mouth. I’ve never looked at him in that light before. My (e/c) iris takes in the male before me. His blonde locks fall just above his neatly shaped eyebrows (does he wax them?). Hide’s hair never seemed to lay neatly; it looked like he ran his fingers through it and styled his hair by messing it up. I love how Hide’s round olive eyes pop out underneath his blonde locks and the crinkles that encase his orbs whenever he smiles. Oh man, don’t even get me started on his smile. How his slightly plump lips draw up to his cheekbones, creating the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. Then you have his soft yet sharp jawline-

“Uh, (Y/n)?” Hide looked at me as he scratched the back of his head. Oh shit. I totally just stood there staring at him while thinking about how gorgeous he was. 

“I-i-i-i’m so sorry!” I quickly averted my gaze to hide my burning face.

“So I take it you don’t think I’m attractive?” His tone was soft, but there was a hint of something I couldn’t quite pick up on. 

“N-not at all!” I whipped around to look at him while flailing my arms, “I think you’re very attractive!” My hands slapped against my face. Embarrassment overwhelmed my body, and all I wanted was to crawl into a hole where no one could see me. Soft fingers encircled my wrist, pulling my hands away from my firey skin. My eyelids were anchored down as I refused to look at the blonde boy (if I can’t see him, he can’t see me, right?). 

A deep chuckle erupted from Hide, and I could feel his warm breath kiss my cheek. “Cute,” he whispered. My eyes flew open upon hearing Hide’s voice. I stumbled backward, realizing how close the blonde was to me. 

“R-right,” I tried to pull myself together, “We should get going!”

The walk to the arcade wasn’t long since it wasn’t too far from Anteiku. I kept my eyes on the ground as we walked since I was still steaming from our interaction only moments ago. We approached an old brick building with a neon sign reading ‘Joysticks.’ The windows were tinted black so that you couldn’t see anything happening inside. Every muscle in my body tingled with excitement as I stared ahead, and a weird knot formed in my throat. I remember this feeling from when I was a child. My earliest memory was at an arcade, and the only happy one of my parents before they died. I swallowed the lump as it tried to push its way up my esophagus. Hide’s large hand grabbed my own, giving me a slight squeeze, and he flashed me one of his sweet smiles. Together, we walked towards the building, and Hide pushed the door open, revealing the maze of arcade games.

“Woah,” Hide and I said in unison. 

The only lighting inside the building was the bright lights of the games and the black lights hanging above us. The carpet was black, with bright neon colors in the shape of stars littering the ground. My eyes took in everything around me, and a deep nostalgia washed over me. I couldn’t help the giddiness in my stomach and began to jump up and down. My comprehensive, childlike eyes met Hide’s, and I could tell he felt the same way. 

“I’m going to get us a playing card!” Hide yelled so that I could hear him over the loud music and games. As he went up to the counter, I continued to look around. They had Pac-Man, racing games, Guitar Hero, newer VR games, and a lot of others. When Hide returned from buying a card for us, he dragged me to one of the car racing games. I sat in the chair next to the blonde boy and pulled it forward to press against the peddle below my feet. Once Hide swiped the card on his machine, he leaned over and swiped the card for mine, and together we pressed the start button. After choosing what car we wanted and the route, we began the race. My fingers gripped the steering wheel before me, and I slammed my foot on the gas. 

I did my best to keep my car on the road, but to no avail; I crashed it every five seconds. On the other hand, Hide was a pro and sped through to the finish line, winning first place. My jaw dropped to the floor as the screen flashed with a new record, and he could input his name into the accomplishments board. The blonde slumped back into his seat and looked at me smugly. He thinks he’s hot shit right now.

“How about we shoot some hoops?” I say, getting out of my seat. I made my way over to the basketball hoops, and Hide followed close behind me. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s swishing balls. We began the game when the buzzer went off, and I quickly grabbed ball after ball and threw it in the air, and each one landed through the net with a swoosh. I guess those years of playing basketball against Yomo have paid off. 

“Well, damn,” Hide ran his fingers through his hair, “I didn’t take you as a basketball girl.”

“I actually hate sports, but my guardian made me play growing up.” Calling Yomo my guardian still feels weird because I feel like he deserves the title of dad, but even after all these years, I still can’t bring myself to call him that. When my parents died, I was alone for a few months until I stumbled across Yomo. He told me his life was rough before I came along, and he got into a lot of trouble, but when my younger self showed up, I became his new purpose. I saved him, apparently, and he saved me. But even as a young child, I never wanted to replace my father, and that’s the only reason Yomo is Renji to me or my guardian when I talk about him to others. If Hide wanted to ask me questions about my guardian, he refrained from it, and I appreciated him not delving into my past when all I wanted to do was have fun. 

We moved on to a few other games where we competed against each other or had to work together to move on. My stomach hurt from how much I’d been laughing, and my cheeks were sore from all the smiling I’d been doing. I don’t think I’ve had this much fun with someone in a long time. Spending time with Hide has been amazing, and I don’t want this night to come to an end. If I could freeze time at this moment, I would.

Hide was getting hungry, so we decided to take a break. I offered to buy Hide’s food since he paid for our game card, but he refused to let me pay. He wrestled my card out of my hand and gave the gentlemen behind the counter his card while holding me back. If I could show my true strength, I would’ve pushed Hide out of the way, but I didn’t want to scare him. We grabbed some water on our way to an empty booth, and I slid into one side, and Hide slid in right next to me. He was so close that our shoulders were squished together, and I could feel the blooming of roses start to form on my cheeks.

Hide leaned back against the booth with his hands crossed behind his head, a signature stance I noticed he takes often. His eyes were softly closed for a moment as if he were taking a second to relax. Then, a yawn escaped his plump lips, and he stretched his arms to the side. One arm fell beside him, and the other gently wrapped around my shoulders. Did he just pull that cliche move? I was amazed by how he pulled it off, but I also didn’t mind the touch it brought. I gently leaned into the side of Hide and lightly rested my head on his shoulder. He looked down into my (e/c) iris with his soft olive ones. A flicker of surprise flashed through his orbs but quickly changed into adoration as he looked at me, snuggling into him.

These past few weeks have been tiring, and the warmth from the blonde boy relaxed my tensed muscles. The lids of my eyes fluttered close, and I inhaled his scent deeply: amber mixed with sandalwood and a hint of cinnamon. The smell enveloped me, and the thought of his scent rubbing off on me from being so close lit a small fire in my stomach. As ghouls, we’re very sensitive to smells, and rubbing your scent onto your partner is a way to let other ghouls know they’re taken. It’s almost like a form of claiming. Before I knew it, I was falling into my instincts, and I rubbed my head into the crook of Hide’s neck. I felt him tense below me, as the boy whose arm was holding me close wasn’t sure what I was doing, but he quickly relaxed and traced his fingers up and down my arm. 

The waitress cleared her throat at the sight of us pulling me out of my trance. I quickly pulled away from the boy and tried to create as much room between us as possible. A basket of fries, mozzarella sticks, and a few different sauces was set before us. I faced the wall to my side, trying to hide the embarrassment enveloping my features. Realization hit me as I thought about what I was doing. I was rubbing my scent on him, trying to stake my claim. Ugh, that’s so embarrassing. What if a ghoul passes by us and thinks we’re together? Intimately. Wait, what if a ghoul accidentally mistakes him for one of us because I overpowered his scent with mine? 

Soft fingers gently gripped my chin and turned my face to look into those round golden eyes. Hide’s face was inches from mine, and his soft features gazed at me tenderly. His orbs flickered down to my lips for a split second and then found their home back into my (e/c) ones. My breath caught in my throat at the moment’s intensity, but I didn’t dare break away from his stare. It felt as if we were the only ones existing in time. His thumb caressed below my lower lip, and I subconsciously parted my lips. 

“You don’t have to be shy,” Hides’s voice was low and husky. “I like the affection.” This time, his thumb trailed along my bottom lip, pulling it down slightly before releasing my face. A deep sigh fell from his chest, and he turned his attention to the food before us. I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed at the loss of touch. The tingling sensation from his thumb lingered where it once was, and my body erupted into a bundle of excitement that could be mistaken for nerves. 

Hide didn’t pressure me to eat any of the food he ordered but did offer to let me take a bite a few times. He didn’t question me when I refused, and I thankfully got away without eating anything. I didn’t want to excuse myself for throwing up and ruining my makeup, and I didn’t want to risk having stomach pains. I wanted to enjoy this date to the fullest without anything hindering me.  

We returned to the games when he finished his food and continued playing all we could. We played an air hockey tournament, and it ended in a tie. It was very heated as we hit the puck repeatedly, trying to sink it into the other goal—a lot of screaming, laughing, and maybe a few flying pucks. Towards the end, Hide gave the puck a brutal hit, and it flew towards me and slammed into my knuckles. Thankfully, for being a ghoul, it couldn’t do anything to harm me, but Hide felt terrible. He went to the counter and asked for a bag of ice, and when he came back, he gently held it against my hand. 

“I feel bad ending the date this way,” he said, holding my hand with the ice.

“There are still some points on our card to play a few more games,” I stated. Unfortunately, we were getting low on funds, so the date was ending, but it didn’t have to end on the wrong note.

“You’re right,” He gleamed towards me, “And I know just the way to make it up to you!” He set the bag of ice to the side and ran towards one of those crane machines full of plushies. Hide swiped the card on the machine and positioned the crane over a plushie. The blonde male pressed the red button, and the claw descended. It gripped onto the plushie and slowly lifted it. Hide and I cheered as we watched it carry the plushie closer to the hole, and then it dropped right outside of it. We stared at the machine in disappointment, and then Hide swiped the card again. He tried a few more times before finally succeeding and grabbed the plushie from below the machine. 

“For you, my lady,” He bowed, holding the toy towards me.

“Why thank you, sir,” I faked a courtesy and then grabbed the plushie from the vibrant boy.

Hide used up the rest of our points on the claw machine, and we decided to save the card to use it in the future. That way, we could gather more tickets and buy a big prize. 

The night’s cold air whipped around me as we left the arcade. I hugged my coat tightly while clutching onto the plushie Hide won. My (h/c) hair flew behind me in the wind, and Hide and I walked side by side. Our fingers brushed against one another, sending electricity through my arm. A sudden urge of confidence overcame me, and I slowly intertwined my fingers with the dirty blonde boys. He accepted my small embrace and squeezed my hand in his. We slowly made our way to Anteiku and stopped just outside the building. 

“Thank you for today,” I said, looking up into his olive eyes, “I had a good time.” 

The sun was setting in the far sky, painting the earth with beautiful oranges and pinks. The hue encapsulated around the bright boy before me, painting him in a golden glow. His blonde locks shimmering like gold, and his olive eyes looked like a pot of honey. Hide’s soft skin glistened warmly, becoming the epitome of golden hour. 

“I had a good time as well,” Hide said, reaching for my other hand. We stood on the sidewalk, staring at one another and holding each other’s hands. Then suddenly, I was pulled forward, and my body was pressed to the boy’s hard chest. His arms wrapped around my back, and he lifted a hand to pet my hair. “I’d like to take you out for another date,” his voice whispered against my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. 

My heart hammered in my chest, and I slowly wrapped my arms around the blonde boy, reciprocating his hug. I inhaled deeply, taking his scent into my nose, and relaxed into his warm embrace. I can’t believe he wants to take me out on another date so quickly. I pulled back slightly, embracing Hide, and looked at his beautiful face. 

“I would love that,” I spoke softly. Hide’s soft hand held my face for the second time today, and he leaned down towards my face. My eyes fluttered closed on instinct as I waited to feel his lips press against mine. A soft, warm feeling bloomed on my forehead, and my eyes fluttered open as Hide pulled his lips away from me. A soft blush covered my cheeks at expecting him to kiss me, but the fact that he only planted a kiss on my forehead made my heart beat even faster. He’s being such a gentleman. 

“Oh, (Y/n), Hide,” a voice drew our attention to the side. A dark-haired boy and a plum-haired girl were walking towards us. That’s right. Touka took Kaneki to Uta’s shop today so he could get a mask made. Hide let his grip go of me but kept one of our hands intertwined. 

“Hey, man!” Hide smiled towards his best friend and waved energetically. 

I glanced bashfully toward the ground as Touka looked between the male and me. Kaneki’s eyes also glanced at our intermingled fingers, and I could sense the disapproval from both parties. 

“What are you guys doing?” Kaneki asked.

“I took (Y/n) on a date!” Hide lifted my hand with his and waved it towards his shy friend. A small giggle fell from my lips as it seemed the blonde boy needed to convince Kaneki that he was indeed on a date with me. “Did you guys go on a date?” The vibrant boy cocked his head to the couple opposite from us, and the two choked from Hide’s statement. 

“Not even!” Touka scuffed as she stormed past us and up to the cafe door. Kaneki rubbed the back of his head, and his cheeks tinted with a soft pinkness. 

“Well, I better get going,” The dark-haired boy began to walk away.

“Kaneki!” Hide called to his childhood friend. “Let me walk with you!” The blonde turned towards me and planted another kiss on my cheek, causing my skin to light on fire. “I’ll text you!” was the last thing he said to me that night as Hide chased after Kaneki. 

——————————

A few days had passed since my date with Hide, and the boy kept his word and texted me as soon as he got home. We texted a lot, and I found myself distracted by my phone. During my shifts at Anteiku, I became impatient and counted down the minutes of my breaks, but then my breaks flew by as I talked to the blonde-haired boy. 

Today, I was at university, tapping at my desk while listening to my professor’s lecture, when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I quietly pulled it out to see who had messaged me, and a smile bloomed on my face as I saw the text was from Hide. 

Hide 🌞

Do you want to hang out with Kaneki and me after classes?

(Y/n)

I would love to! 🥰

I quickly texted back and shoved my phone back into my pocket. There were only thirty minutes until this class ended, and then I would spend time with Hide! It’s good to hear that Kaneki is with him because I know he’s been avoiding the blonde boy a bit. 

As class ended, I made my way through the courtyard and towards one of the cafes on campus. The sun was shining brightly, but the air was cold. I wore beige high-waisted pants that flowed right above my ankles, a cropped cream sweater, and a long plaid coat that hit my calves. A pair of brown low-cut boats adorned my feet, and my cross-body tote was slung over my shoulder. My (h/c) hair flowed around my face, and I pushed the left side behind my ear. As I approached the cafe, I spotted the pair of boys I was supposed to meet up with. I raised my arm to wave at them as I approached. 

The two boys sat outside at a cute round table, and three cups of coffee sat before the boys. I grabbed the empty chair between the two and slid it out to take my seat. A deep puff of condensation escaped my lips as I relaxed into the chair. 

“I hope you don’t mind; we already ordered our coffees,” the dark-haired boy said, pointing towards the paper cups on the table.

I reached forward to grab the cup that hadn’t been claimed yet. My slender fingers absorbed the heat from the hot coffee inside. I slowly lifted the cup to my face and inhaled the sweet aroma before taking a small sip. The liquid burnt a little as it flowed down my throat, but I didn’t care as it warmed up my insides. After a few sips, I look at the blonde boy to my right. Hide was dressed up more than usual, and I could feel a slight tingle on my cheeks at how nice he looked. His dirty blonde hair was naturally unruly, but he wore a button-up shirt, a dark brown button-up coat, and light denim jeans. It was odd to see him in something that wasn’t his usual bright attire, but Hide looked good no matter what he was wearing. 

“(Y/n)! Doesn’t Kaneki look better lately?” the bright boy asks me. I turn to look at the dark-haired boy. My eyes scan Kaneki, and I can see his skin’s normal color flourishing like before his incident. He hasn’t eaten much, but his special ‘sugar’ cubes help soothe his hunger.

“He is!” I smile at the shy boy, “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Kaneki.” A dusting of blush covers the half ghoul’s face, and he stutters out “T-than-” 

“Um… you’re,” a girl with an a-line haircut approached our table. “Hide, right?” She looked familiar, but I couldn’t remember exactly where I’d seen her.

“You’re Nishios girlfriend?” Hide’s olive eyes looked the girl over, “How can I help you?” 

The brunette girl rummaged through her purse, pulled out a DVD in a green case, and held it out to the dirty blonde. “This is from Nishiki. I came to drop this off for him.” Hide’s slender hands grabbed the DVD from the girl. His eyes scrunched in confusion, and then his mouth formed the shape of an ‘O’ when he remembered what the DVD was for. As the brunette turned around and started walking away, the blonde boy shot out of his chair and yelled to the girl, “What hospital is Nishio at? We would like to visit him, but-” Before he could finish what he was saying, the a-line-haired girl ran away. I cringed for the boy, who was blatantly ignored, and the blonde rubbed the back of his head, questioning if he did something wrong.

So she’s dating Nishiki? If she’s been in contact with him since our fight, she must know he’s a ghoul, and I know the brunette is human with how she smells. “She might still be shy about us walking in on them,” I said as the blonde boy sat back in his seat. 

“I guess that makes sense,” Hide’s eyes drifted to Kaneki. The dark-haired boy was rubbing his chin while staring off into space. “Kaneki,” the blonde pulled his friend from his thoughts. “Don’t stress over it!” Hide flashed a smile towards his best friend. 

We sat until it was time for Kaneki and me to head to work. Hide hugged me goodbye, and I couldn��t help but take a deep breath of his scent before pulling away. Then the blonde waved towards Kaneki as we parted ways. The dark-haired boy and I walked in silence for a few minutes until he broke the silence.

“So, you and Hide?” Kaneki’s voice was low.

“Huh?” My (e/c) eyes widened, “W-what do you mean?” The heat started to blossom on my cheeks.

“Do you like him?” The black-haired male turned towards me and stared deeply into my eyes. A serious expression overtook his face. “Answer me honestly.” 

I glanced towards the ground and inhaled the cold air before speaking, “I do like him.” I lifted my head and stared into Kaneki’s dark grey eyes, “And I promise you, Kaneki, that I will never hurt him.” 

*

The end of the day was nearing, and Kaneki and I were starting to clean things up. Then Mr. Yoshimura appeared behind Kaneki, scaring the poor dark-haired boy. I didn’t pay much attention to their conversation and continued to clean up, but my ears perked up at the sound of Yomo’s name coming out of the older man’s lips. I whipped my head around to see Kaneki looking panicked and put two and two together. 

“Are you sending him on a food run with Renji?” I asked while walking towards the two males.

“I am,” The old man answered.

“I’ll go with them!” I said while setting a few mugs into the sink.

“Really?!” The dark-haired boy looked at me, and it seemed a wave of relief washed over him, “That would make me feel better, to be honest.” 

Once Kaneki and I closed the cafe, we headed outside to wait for Yomo to pick us up. I don’t think Mr. Yoshimura warned him about me coming along, so seeing his surprised face will be fun. It’s been a few years since I’ve gone on a food run with Yomo, and that’s because it was getting hard for me to see all the dead bodies. I felt bad for the people we took because they must’ve been dealing with something terrible to decide to kill themselves. Sometimes, when collecting the dead bodies, I would think about whether what they did was intelligent. Maybe I would have been better off if I had made the same choice as them. Then, I wouldn’t have to suffer in this cruel world anymore, and I wouldn’t be a burden to those around me. Thinking that way wasn’t healthy, so I had to tell Mr. Yoshimura I couldn’t do it anymore. Going on this food run makes me a bit nervous, but knowing that Kaneki will feel more uncomfortable in this situation (and with him being around Yomo) made me want to be there for him. 

A sleek dark grey car pulled in front of us, and a monotonous Yomo stood out of the vehicle. The tall male cocked his head to the side as he stared at the two of us. Yomo’s face didn’t give away any of his thoughts, but I could tell he was concerned with me being here. I didn’t tell him why I wanted to stop doing the food runs, but I’m sure he came up with his theory, which probably was correct. 

“Renji!” I decided to break the tension by calling out to my guardian and rushing towards him to envelop the man in a hug. I smooshed my face into his chest and wrapped my arms around his broad back. The stone man sighed in defeat and lifted a hand to pat my head. 

“(Y/n)...” The silver-haired man glared down at me.

“I’m here to help Kaneki!” I tried to reassure my father-like figure. He wouldn’t argue if I told him I was there to help someone. Yomo knows that I would do anything for someone, especially a ghoul, to make sure they didn’t have to suffer or feel the way I’ve felt. 

“Come on,” The stone-like man spoke deeply and slid into the car’s driver’s seat. I followed after the male and took my spot in the passenger seat as Kaneki slid behind us in the back seat. 

The drive was quiet, so I tried to loosen the atmosphere by turning on the radio. Only to receive angry eyes glaring down at me before turning the radio off. I huffed in response, slumped back into my seat, and stared out the window at the night sky. Renji is an old fart, and he likes to kill anything fun. My (e/c) eyes shift to the car’s rearview mirror to check on the dark-haired boy behind me. His eyebrows knitted down into a frown, and he anxiously bit down on his lower lip. What could I do to make him relax? This would have been much easier if only Yomo hadn’t given such scary vibes. 

“Don’t worry, Kaneki!” I turned to look at the shy boy, “Renji may look like a heartless man, but he’s just a big ol’ teddy bear on the inside.” 

“So, y-you two know each other well, then?” The dark-haired boy questioned.

“I had the displeasure of raising her.” Yomo stoically spoke. 

I playfully hit the male who was driving, “Hey!”

“I’m joking,” the silver-haired male reached over and ruffled my hair. “I’ll never regret taking you in.” Yomo broke his straight face with a small smile as he glanced my way. I could feel the wetness gather at the edge of my eyes, and a warmth blossomed in my chest. 

“You’re getting sappy, old man,” I said while holding myself together. I’m an emotional person whenever it comes to Yomo. He is the person who changed my life and cared for me when no one else wanted to. 

We pulled up to a looking point on the edge of a cliff. It was dark outside, and the view overlooked the beautiful mountainside. The cool air flew around us, and I took a deep breath of the clean air. Yomo’s voice floated through my ears, but I didn’t quite pick up what he was saying. Then I heard a loud screeching sound of metal, and the next thing I knew, Kaneki was falling down the cliff side. I made eye contact with the older male, confused about what had just happened, and when I finally realized that the poor half-ghoul had just fallen from an extreme height, I jumped down after him. My feet slammed against the ground as I landed in an almost superhero-like pose, and an ear-piercing scream rang through my ears. The dark-haired boy jumped towards me and clung onto my arm while hiding behind my body. In front of me, where Kaneki was standing, lay a mutilated body. 

The sight wasn’t pretty since the man who was lying on the ground had body parts pointing in ways they shouldn’t be, and because of the impact, some of his insides were now on the outside. After a few seconds, Yomo came crashing down, also striking a hero-like pose, and casually walked towards the two of us. The older male threw a duffel bag towards us and demanded that we put the deceased man into the bag. 

“S-so, you guys decided to eat suicide victims?” Kaneki spoke from behind me, “That way, you don’t have to hurt anyone?”

“I haven’t made any decision,” Yomo said, making his way over to another body on the ground, “I still kill to eat sometimes, and so do Touka and a few others. I only do this because Mr. Yoshimura asked me to and for those who cannot kill.” The sliver-haired male glanced my way while he spoke. Once he stood in front of the other dead body, Yomo put his hands together and did a quick prayer before collecting the body into the bag.

“Kaneki, you can watch me for today,” I lead the frail male towards the deceased body he first encountered. I leaned onto my knees next to the male’s body, put my hands together like Yomo, and said a prayer. I always ask for the person’s soul to move on peacefully, and I also ask for forgiveness for taking their body without their permission. Then, I slowly collected the body and shoved it into the bag. Sometimes, they don’t fit in the bag, and you unfortunately have to break some of their bones to get them to fit. Thankfully, I didn’t have to do any of that to this poor man, and I got him in the duffle with no problems. Kaneki looked pale the whole time, and I wouldn’t blame him if he threw up. 

After collecting the bodies, we returned up the cliff and threw the bags into the car’s truck. This time, I let Kaneki sit in the passenger seat and took my spot in the back seat. We headed back towards Anteiku when Yomo pulled the car to the side of the road and got out to approach a figure on the sidewalk. When he came back, I could see that the person he was with was Ryoko. She entered the car and slid into the spot next to me. The mother looked down at her lap with a sorrowful face. I approached the woman I looked up to and grabbed her hand. She looked at me with a soft smile and squeezed my hand back. 

When Yomo entered the car, he started lecturing Ryoko about being out alone and how dangerous it was since the doves were looking for her. The brunette’s face turned more sad looking, if even possible, and I felt terrible that she had to deal with all of this after losing her husband. She’s been through a lot and can’t even mourn in peace. Ryoko wants to be vital to protect Hinami, but I think tonight is the first time I’ve seen her look sad. Whenever the mother stopped at the cafe with Hinami, she looked held together and didn’t seem to be mourning. Ryoko did an excellent job at being strong in front of her daughter, but it’s also good for her to let her emotions out. One day, I hope to be the kind of mother Ryoko is to my future children.

——————————

 A few days had passed since I did the food run with Kaneki and Yomo, and it was finally my weekend. I was heading towards the shopping center in black leggings, an oversized crewneck, and chunky sneakers. My hair was slightly greasy, so I had on a beanie to hide the evidence and keep my head warm from the cold air. I didn’t do much to present myself besides adding a little concealer to my face, as usual, and since I wasn’t planning on meeting up with anyone, I went with cozy vibes today. It’s been a while since I went shopping, and I felt I deserved to treat myself. I’ve been saving up my money and have extra to do some retail therapy.  

  While walking down the sidewalk, I had my headphones in and ignored the world around me. So when I felt a pair of hands slam down on my shoulders, I was ready to turn around and punch whoever dared sneak up on me. My body relaxed when I turned around, and my (e/c) eyes met a pair of olive ones.

”What the hell, Hide!” I yelled at the boy as I clutched my chest. “You scared me!” 

A soft pinkness crept up on the dirty blonde's face, and he scratched his head as he said, “Sorry when I realized it was you; I couldn’t help myself.” 

When I fully registered that Hide was next to me while I wasn’t looking my best, I started feeling self-conscious about my appearance. 

“So,” the vibrant boy reaches out and grabs my hand with a bright smile. “What are you up to today?” 

“I was heading towards the shopping centers,” I tell the male who’s gleaming at me.

”Can I join?” Hide asks.

”I don’t mind, but it might not be fun for you.” I squeezed the male's hand and pulled him toward my direction.

”Why do you say that?” 

“I’m going to be trying on a bunch of clothes.” The blonde boy swallows a big gulp and stares in my direction. 

“I think I’ll love this date,” Hide’s usually pale face turns two shades darker, and I playfully punch the male in his shoulder.

”Get your mind out of the gutter,” I turn my face to look away from Hide to keep him from seeing my equally red face. 

We walked the rest of the way to the mall while holding hands. It felt like we were a real couple, and thinking of us that way made my heart flutter. We browsed the aisles and began collecting a pile of clothes once we got to the store I wanted to look at. Anytime I tried to hold onto a piece of clothing, Hide would snatch it from me and keep it in his arms. The blonde also grabbed tops, bottoms, and dresses for me to try on. The idea of him wanting me to come out and show him each outfit was enough to keep my cheeks blushing while we shopped. Hide and I went to the dressing rooms when I decided I had enough clothes. 

“Hello!” The dressing room attendant greeted us, “Follow me!” The lady led us to the back, unlocked a door for me, and wrote 6+ on the whiteboard that adorned the front of the door. “You can only bring in 6 items at a time, and if there’s anything you don’t like, it can go on this rack here.” Then she turns towards Hide and says, “And your boyfriend can have a seat right over there,” She points to a few luxury chairs across from the rooms. 

Once she walked away, I grabbed my first six clothing items from Hide and entered the room the lady opened for me. Since the items I grabbed were things I picked out, I didn’t step out to show Hide. I left the dressing room, put most of the clothes onto the ‘go back’ rack, and then approached a pouting blonde to grab more clothes from him.

”You didn’t show me,” Hide dramatically stuck his lip out as far as it could go.

”Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize you wanted to see what I picked out too.” I started grabbing another group of six from his arms.

”I want to see all of it!” The blonde said excitedly.

”Okay,” I laugh at the boy and head back to the dressing room to change.

As I wore the new outfit, I examined myself in the mirror and stepped out of the dressing room. Hide’s face lit up as he saw me approach him. 

“Do a spin!” The bright boy moves his finger in a circle while his eyes rack over my body, taking in my outfit. It’s nothing special right now, just a basic shirt and jeans, but as I turn around, I’m overly aware that he’s taking every inch of me with his olive eyes. It goes on like this for a while: I try things on, show Hide, and he tells me everything looks good on me; even though that's questionable, I appreciate the confidence boost. 

In this group of clothing, I brought an exquisite black dress into the dressing room with me, something you would wear out to a fancy date. This dress doesn’t require a bra, and as I slip it onto my body, I can already tell it fits me like a glove, but I can’t reach the zipper properly. I stand in the dressing room for a few minutes, staring at myself in the mirror, bite my lower lip, and call out for Hide, who is patiently waiting on the chair outside the room. I can hear him respond, and it takes me another second to get the courage to say my following words.

”C-could you help me with this zipper?” I sputter out. It doesn’t take a second to hear a knock on the door, and if I weren’t overwhelmed by embarrassment, I would have laughed at how quickly he responded. I slowly pushed the door open while holding the front part of the dress to my chest to ensure it stayed in place and wouldn’t reveal any more body parts than I already had on display. The dress was short as it was barely long enough to cover my ass, and my boobs were already popping with cleavage as I held the dress up since it was strapless. Not to mention, my bare back was exposed as I turned around to have Hide zip it. 

The blonde gently pushed my hair over my shoulder, causing goosebumps from the subtle touch. Hide’s breath grazed my neck, and I instinctively shivered from the sensation it caused. Hide then ran his soft finger down my spine, causing my back to arch and a gasp to escape my lips. “H-hide!” Flustered was an understatement as my whole body flushed the shade of a tomato, and a weird knot began to form in my abdomen. 

“Sorry,” Hide’s voice was dangerously low, “I couldn’t help myself.” The blonde then grabs the zipper and pulls it up with ease. When the dress is secure on my body, I finally drop my arms to the side and look at myself in the mirror. It looks stunning. It shows off my figure perfectly. Hide’s strong arm wraps around my waist and pulls me against his toned chest. My heart races as he lowers his head to whisper, “You look stunning.”

”T-thank you,” It’s hard to function appropriately with him pressed against my back. “Could y-you unzip it for me?” Hide then grabs the zipper again and pulls it down slowly. He’s dragging this moment on longer than I would like, but I also don’t mind it at the same time. I might be embarrassed, but I enjoy how my body lights on fire from his touches. Once the dress is unzipped, the male closes the door behind him, and I dress back into my regular clothes. I only had a few more pairs of clothing to try on, and for the rest of the fashion show, all I could think about was how he dragged his finger along my spine. 

Out of all the clothing we picked out, I only loved about ten pieces, and I would have bought the dress if it wasn’t so expensive. Also, where would I even wear it? It’s not like I go out to any fancy restaurants or events. But Hide grabbed the dress from my hands before I could place it on the go-back rack.

”I’ll buy it for you,” The dirty blonde says while draping the dress over his arm. My jaw drops open, and I try to grab it from his arms.

”There’s no way! It’s too expensive!” I protest.

”I don’t care,” Hide smirks down at me and walks towards the checkout line. 

We stop in a few different shops and joke around together. I didn’t know shopping with someone could be this fun. Usually, I do these things on my own as I just want to get in and out, but when you’re with someone you enjoy being around, it makes everything more exciting. After a few hours, Hide and I are exhausted, and we decide it’s time to leave. Being the gentleman that Hide is, he carries my bags for me, and I hold onto one of his arms as we walk. Little droplets of water begin to leak from the sky, and then suddenly, it’s pouring down on us.

Hide pulls me to the side of a building so we can find shelter under the awning of a shop. Thankfully, I always carry an umbrella in my bag, so I pull it out and pop it open. It’s not the most extensive umbrella, so we have to squeeze together so that it covers both of us. We rush towards the cafe, and I swap the blonde for the shopping bags and hand him the umbrella. I can’t let Hide walk back home in this rain. Hide kisses me on the cheek goodbye, and I run into the cafe. Being on such a high from the day, I didn’t even notice as I made it upstairs that the cafe was closed and no customers were littering around. 

Yomo stood with his back against the wall and approached me with a more severe look than his regular face. “We need to talk,” the silver-haired man spoke softly. 

“Let me set these bags in my room real quick,” I said as I approached my door. I didn’t even bother entering my room; I just opened the door and threw the bags on the floor in front of it. “What did you need to talk to me about?” I asked Renji.

”Follow me,” the stone-like man says, walking towards another door leading into Anteiku’s meeting room. I follow behind the man, and when I enter the room, I can see everyone, except Touka, sitting around with sad faces.

”What happened?” was the first thing that escaped my lips. From the way everyone looked, I could tell it was something terrible. My eyes landed on the dark-haired male, whose eyes focused on his fidgeting fingers. Kaneki’s skin was deathly pale, and I could tell that whatever happened truly scarred him.  

Mr. Yoshimura turned to face me and told me the devastating news, “Mrs. Fueguchi was killed by ghoul investigators.” 

“What?” I stumbled backward, and a pair of arms grabbed me from behind. Yomo held onto my body to make sure I didn’t collapse to the ground. “Ryoko, i-is dead?!” 

“I’m so sorry—“ The silver-haired man couldn’t finish his sentence as I pushed him aside and ran out the door. Tears flowed down my eyes, blurring my vision, as I ran outside into the rain. My clothes drenched within seconds, but my feet wouldn’t stop. I wasn’t entirely sure where my body was taking me, and I couldn’t think straight at the thought of Ryoko being dead. She was like my older sister, and Hinami, oh god, Hinami. Both her parents are dead now. Why is this a fate that so many ghouls meet? Kids don’t deserve to grow up without their parents.

People stare at me as I run past them, whaling like a maniac, but I don’t care. There’s a place where my body seeks comfort, and I will find it. Through my tainted vision, I spot a familiar blob and sprint towards it, calling out to the one thing that could calm me down. The male turns around to face me again with a surprised look as I slam into his arms, causing him to drop the umbrella I gave him earlier. 

“(Y-y/n),” Hide’s arms wrap around me and stroke my hair, “What happened?” I sob into the male's chest, but at this point, it doesn’t matter anymore. We’re both soaked from the rain.

”She’s dead!”

——————————

Hide brought me to his apartment, where he gave me a change of clothes and let me use his shower to warm up from the rain. The hot water that pelted against my skin felt nice, but it couldn’t wash away the pain I was feeling on the inside. After about 20 minutes of just soaking in the heat, I decided it was time to get out. Hide gave me one of his T-shirts and sweatpants, and I slowly pulled them onto my body after I dried off. Both items were large on my frame, and I had to pull the drawstring in the sweatpants to keep it on my hips. I then wrapped my (h/c) hair into a towel and exited the bathroom to see the dirty blonde resting on his couch in an outfit similar to mine, and his damp locks drooped in front of his round olive eyes. 

Hide patted the spot next to him, and I slowly made my way next to the blonde on the couch. I didn’t even bother leaving room between the two of us; all I wanted at this moment was to be held, so I snuggled under the male’s arm and into his side. Hide wrapped his arm around me and squeezed me close. His fingers drew circles on my arm, and the heat radiating from his body helped my muscles relax. After a few minutes of laying on the couch in the dirty blonde’s embrace, he lifts me to sit before him and removes the towel from my head. 

“I’ll be right back,” Hide kisses the back of my head and enters the bathroom. When he emerges, he has a brush in his hands and retakes a seat behind me. Slowly, Hide starts to brush my hair, careful not to hurt me or snag the brush on potential knots. How he’s caring for me causes overwhelming emotions to envelop my body again, and tears trickle down my cheeks. Hide just continues to brush my hair, planting a few kisses on the back of my head every once in a while, and when he finishes, he places the brush on the coffee table. The blonde’s soft hands grip my arms, and he turns me around and pulls me to lie on his chest. We stay on the couch in silence as he rubs circles on my back and showers me with soft kisses. All I do is cry on and off for hours until my body tires itself out, and I fall asleep. 

*

When I woke up the following day, I found myself in a bed I was not familiar with. However, the scent of the owner that lingers on the blankets is one I’ve grown fond of. I buried myself deeper into the bed and reached around to see if said owner was lying next to me. To my disappointment, there wasn’t another body close to me, but I guess the courteous thing would be to put me in bed and for him to sleep elsewhere. The door to the bedroom cracked open, and Hide poked his ruffled blonde hair through to check on me.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Hide’s morning voice was more profound and raspier than usual, and if I weren’t so depressed right now, I would be able to appreciate the sexiness of it. The blonde pushed the door open all the way and entered the room. “I can make us breakfast if you’d like?” I subconsciously cringed at the thought of food. The last thing I want right now is to ingest something that tastes terrible and makes me sick.

“Thank you for offering, but I don’t feel like eating right now,” I say, inching further into the bed. Hide doesn’t argue against me eating; instead, he crawls into the bed beside me. We lay there for a while, snuggling with each other when a knock sounded on Hide's door. The dirty blonde male groans and peels himself from me as he makes his way towards his front door. I stayed in bed, listening closely to see who was at the door, and I could hear the faint sound of a worried male. Was that Kaneki? I slowly got out of bed and made my way to where the voices were, and as I got closer, I confirmed it was indeed the dark-haired boy.

“(Y-Y/n)?!” Kaneki called out as I appeared behind Hide. Then, from behind Kaneki, a stoic male emerges into the apartment, and suddenly, I’m enveloped in a rib-shattering hug.

“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” The silver male questioned, “I was worried.” 

“I’m sorry, Renji.” I pressed my face into the male’s chest. “I just needed to get away.” Another moment passed before Yomo released me. He looked around where we were, and his eyebrows dropped into a scowl once they landed on Hide. 

“Who’s this?” Yomo glares daggers at the blonde. And how Hide is glaring back at Yomo, I’d think he’s jealous. If a male like Yomo burst into my apartment and hugged the girl I’ve been on a few dates with, I would also get the wrong impression. 

“Renji, this is Hideyoshi Nagachika, we uh, we’re dating?” I say the last part as a question because I wasn’t sure how to introduce the blonde male to my guardian. Dating is correct because we’re going on dates but not together, and I didn’t want to introduce Hide as just a friend because he is honestly more than that to me. 

“Dating?” Yomo’s eyebrow twitched at the information.

“Hide, this is Yomo Renji, my guardian.” I introduced my father figure to Hide, and the blonde’s face fell into shock and then panicked. Hide reaches out, shakes the older male’s hand, and nervously laughs as he tries to introduce himself properly. Yomo doesn’t say anything to Hide as he glares daggers.

“(Y/n),” Renji looks at me, “Grab your things, we’re leaving.” 

*

On the way back to Anteiku, Yomo lectured me about boys and how they’re all animals. I rolled my eyes and said I could handle myself as an adult. It also helped to have Kaneki in the car because he defended Hide and told Yomo how he’s a good guy and respects women. My mind flashed back to the moment we shared in the dressing room, where he ran his finger on my back, and all I have to say is that was very disrespectful (the good kind). A slight blush creeps up on my cheeks while thinking about his touch, and unfortunately, Yomo sees my flustered face. Let’s just say the silver-haired male started steaming out his nose. The whole time I was growing up, I was never interested in boys, or at least didn’t show it, and I had never liked a boy before, so Yomo hadn’t seen this side of me. 

A few moments of silence pass as the mood shifts severely due to the events a day ago. We might joke about trivial things, but we are all deeply hurt. A large hand reaches over to me and squeezes my thigh. 

“I’m sorry, bubs,” Yomo says quietly. Tears again start spilling down my cheeks, and I use the end of my sleeves from the crewneck I wore yesterday to wipe them away. 

“How’s Hina? I choke out.

“She’s resting at Anteiku. We’ll be taking care of her from now on,” The silver-haired male explained. I wasn’t surprised that Anteiku would take her in; it was the obvious choice, which meant I could watch over her. 

“Touka was extremely upset when we told her what happened. She wants us to go after the Dove that killed Ryoko. Would you help keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn’t do anything rash?” Yomo asked.

“Of course, I’ll watch over her.” 

——————————

A few days have passed, and I’ve been watching the plum-haired teenager closely. She’s been patrolling around the city on the lookout for certain doves, and I’ve been following from a distance to figure out what Touka could be planning. I know she’s going to attack them, but when and how? While walking down the sidewalk, I approached two males ahead of me and overheard them talking.

“The only big one we had recently is the binge eater case.” The one with slick black hair and glasses said. Binge eater? Is he talking about Rize? “I wish the main office would take it off our hands. They’d solve it so quickly.” The male continues talking. They have to be ghoul investigators. There’s no doubt in my mind about it. Suddenly, an overwhelming feeling erupts throughout my body. I can sense something terrible about to happen, and in a split second, I’m pushing the male in front of me, yelling at him to watch out. A sharp pain jolts through my back as I fall to the ground on top of the black-haired male with glasses.

“Kusaba!” The buzz-cut male yelled out to his friend. 

Touka stood, towering over Kusaba and me, in her ghoul uniform. I could feel her deathly glare behind the rabbit mask as she scuffed and ran away. I looked down at the disheveled male who was pinned under my body. His glasses that sat neatly on the bridge of his nose were now crooked, and his hair that was slicked to the side fell in front of his eyes. A pink hue dusted across the male’s cheeks, and he averted his eyes from my figure that pressed against his chest. Realizing the scandalous way I laid on top of the male, I quickly pulled myself off of Kusaba and reached down to him. 

“Are you okay?” I ask. He takes my hand, and I help the male off the ground. 

“I-I’m fine, thank you,” The male with glasses bows towards me.

“Kusaba! Nakajima! Are you-” A tall, buff male yells as he runs towards us, and once his teal eyes land on my frame, they widen. “You’re hurt!”

I reach around to feel my back, cringing at the pain when my finger brushes against the gash. When I pull my hand away, I see crimson smeared on the pads of my fingers. My (e/c) eyes shift from the blood-staining my hand towards the taller male, meeting his deep teal orbs, “I’m okay, don’t worry!” I do my best to flash the large gentleman a convincing smile. Any sane person would be freaking out or crying in pain after getting wounded by a ghoul. Touka didn’t mean to hit me, but I’d rather get a scratch on my back than this guy possibly dying. But I also can’t have them getting suspicious of me. It doesn’t matter if I just saved one of their own; once they find out I’m a ghoul, I’m dead. 

“Amon,” That Nakajima guy called out to the tall male, “That ghoul. It was the rabbit.” 

“The rabbit!?” The guy, whose name is Amon, looked at his colleague in shock. “You’re a fortunate girl, do you know that?” He then turns towards me, “That you got away with a scratch.” Amon motions for me to approach him, and I slowly move toward the tall male. My body shook involuntarily once I was in front of the large male. This Amon guy is fucking huge. He towers over me by about two feet (a bit exaggerated), and his shoulders are so broad I doubt my arms could wrap around him. He twirls his finger, and I turn around so Amon can look at my back.

“You’re going to need stitches,” The male says sternly, “I’ll take you to the hospital.” And before I could protest, another voice appeared.

“(Y/n)?” The deep voice made a calmness wash over me, and my body relaxed, “Shit! You’re bleeding!” The blonde figure runs towards me and grabs my arms, positioning me so his olive eyes can look over my wound. “What happened?” Hide’s voice was laced with concern. His toned arms pulled me closer to his side as he glared at the three males standing around me.

“Oh, you know, playing hero again,” I shrug. 

“(Y-),” Hide was cut off by the tall, dark-haired male,

“Again? Have you seen a ghoul before?” Amon questions.

“No, this was my first encounter with a ghoul, but,” I look towards the blonde male, trying to figure out how to explain my past escapades.

“She saved my life after I was hit by a car,” Hide explains to Amon. The tall male looked toward me with a straight face, and it was hard to read whatever lay beneath. You’d think I’d be used to reading stony expressions from being raised by Yomo, but everyone’s poker face is different.

“She needs to get to the hospital and have that wound taken care of,” The large male states. 

“I’ll be sure to get her there,” Hide assures him. The blonde gently wraps his arm around my waist, being sure not to touch the gash, and we turn around to leave.

“Wait!” the male with glasses calls out to us. Hide and I pause and look back at Kusaba. “T-thank you again for saving me!” He bows deeply and then shouts again, “C-could I possibly get your number!?” My mouth hung open in shock, and I was about to refuse politely, but Hide beat me to it. 

“I’m her boyfriend.” The blonde boy glared at the other male, and I couldn’t help the deep shade of red from blooming on the apples of my cheeks. Hide just said he was my boyfriend. Someone pinch me. I must be dreaming. Was he serious about that? Or was he just saying it to keep  Kusaba from getting my number? I was pulled out of my thoughts when Hide started to drag me away from the other males.

“Hide?” I look up at the blonde.

“Yes?” He looks deeply into my (e/c) eyes.

“D-did you mean it when you said you were my boyfriend?” 

“I did.” Hide’s olive eyes looked at me with an emotion I hadn’t seen before. His marble-like orbs seemed to hold the world within them. “Tell me if I’m overstepping any boundaries,” Hide rested his soft hand against my cheek, caressing my skin. “But, I’d like to be your boyfriend.” The blonde’s voice dropped an octave. 

“I’d like that too,” I whispered. A wide smile grew on the vibrant boy’s face, and the next thing I knew, his lips crashed into mine. He held me close, gripping my hip as our lips intertwined. We only pulled away to catch our breaths, and he rested his forehead against mine. 

“I’ll take you to Anteiku.” The blonde smiled. 

——————————

Nakajima: *Hits Kusaba over the head* You idiot! They were clearly together!

Kusaba: *Crying* How was I supposed to know!?

next

AN:

So I saved Kusaba, who we only got to know in the manga for a few pages, and yes, this is important for the plot of this story. I’m stopping this chapter before the end of volume two and carrying it on to volume three because, wowza, this got pretty long. Also, HIDE AND (Y/N) ARE DATING NOW! Don’t come at me for them getting together so quickly. I need this fast pace for my timeline to work as planned. Even though they’re dating now, it doesn’t mean their relationship will be hella fast, but this is no slow burn. Buckle up and enjoy the ride! OH! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, the arcade date, and the little impromptu date at the mall!

Read on Quotev first!

[theshadowrealmitself]

We need more fics where when Peter is dramatically talking about his past and how he has difficulty loving after what happened to his last love and doesn’t want what happened to her to happen to anyone else, instead of it turning out that Gwen died, it turns out that she’s alive and healthy and happy and only got minorly inconvenienced by something because he was Spiderman, and Peter’s just dramatic af

[a-usernamelol]

OC love language explanation sheet

Aka all this Allbert has Clover really wanting to talk about how Allan behaves in relationships because OH MY GOD is he SO CUTE. This isn’t particularly Allbert related I just was inspired by it to make it lmao

-Physical touch:

Allan, despite being very uncomfortable with touch, is very comfortable with it in an established relationship. Allan will always be clinging to his partner in some way- either by gripping their sleeve or arm, or snuggling against them. If his partner doesn’t like being held onto or touched a lot they’ll have to establish boundaries because Allan will DEFINITELY be trying to hold hands with them and similar things. It’s his comfort- he naturally wants to be held. I cannot emphasize it enough he loves to touch and be touched back- if a partner doesn’t like it then they HAVE to establish a boundary here.

-Gifts:

Allan will sometimes bring a partner random gifts. It’s his way of saying “I love you” because he doesn’t know how to say it aloud. Allan will bring small affordable gifts randomly just because he can. There’s no rhyme or reason, just “he saw something that reminded him of his partner” and HAD to get it for them.

-Words and Talking:

Allan is truly horrible at saying his mind. He’d barely say “I love you” out loud, but when he does, it means something. There are things he’d lie about: being in love isn’t one of them.

-Spending time:

Allan tends to run around and bounce around, so don’t be surprised if he runs off for a day. However, Allan will continuously try to find an excuse to hang around his partner. He’ll find excuses to hang out, no matter how simple.

-Service:

Allan is going to try and do everything for his partner to a detrimental degree. He wants to take care of them, and he will try to carry the world for them if he has too.

@theladyofshalott1989 @honeybadgerdontcare394 @heyitszev @the-chaotic-scilla-aster <- Hey. Hey tell me about your blorbos and their love languages. Gimme

NSFW stuff under cut? NSFW stuff under cut.

Get trolled idiot he’s Asexual lol

-Ok but minorly NSFW stuff for shits and giggles:

-Allan is bitey. Probably comes with being so touch related. Stick em in a bed with his partner at night and they might not come out unscathed LMAO He won’t HURT them he’s just a bit possessive

-Did I mention he’s Ace? He’s ace. He is not letting anyone down there unless he trusts them COMPLETELY and entirely. Then it’s more of a gift of self because the OTHER person wants it. He finds it kinda gross.

Thats it lol

that’s the post

I just wanted to talk about how fucking cute he is and rant on and on

rahhh tell me about your blorbos

[docholligay]

Ep 7: Shauna

Hello! This is about up to Episode 7 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 7 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the seventh episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

I love that even in the middle of the wilderness, even while we’re trying desperately to survive, even then we have teenage drama. I mean, admittedly being pregnant is a fairly major thing, but it feels, I suppose, refreshing, to have that amount of drama around something so typical. 

We;re seeing the cracks in the relationship between her and Jackie, cracks that were always there because Shauna is constantly trying to think of ways to punish Jackie, to vent her anger toward jackie, even as she does love Jackie as much as she hates her. I don’t think Shauna would even understand the way she fels about Jackie. But something like this was always coming, the way that Shauna feels grateful to Jackie and is also tired of living in her shadow, the way she longs for Jackie’s approval and also desires to get away from her. Even now, she still can’t tell Jackie the truth, because to admit that would be more than admitting she slept with Jeff, it would be knowing, and having to risk Jackie seeing on her face, that it was never about loving Jeff, it was always, at core, about Jackie. 

ANd because of this even while Jackie is trying to connect again, and even while Shauna wants this connection, she of course can’t give it to Jackie, because she can’t give Jackie the real truth. She is absolutely going to be caught in this fucking lie about the night it happened, how could she possibly think it wouldn’t? You can see it all over Jcakie’s face, that she knows Shauna is lying to her but she still doesn’t understand how. ANd the hilarious romper room hiding of the journal, like Jackie doesn’t directly disbelieve her anyhow, like she hadn’t poured out everything into it, like that’s not a very easy place to find something if you’re looking at least minorly. I think on some level Shauna wants Jackie to know, because it has to come out, it has to be free of it all, it can’t be done like this anymore. 

Sauna being a terrible liar is less of a problem with her and Jeff, who are both lying to each other, but they are so caught up in their own lies that they can’t even begin to be thinking about each other’s lies. 

Adam! What the fuck! I absolutely still think he is not on the up and up, but he is so completely right when he says that Shauna so desperately wants to blow the world up and see what happens. In so many ways, marrying Jeff and having Callie wasn’t that different from simply letting Jackie control her and what she did. It was easier to follow a path, and that’s all Shauna has done, while the whole time she’s resenting the very people she loves, in the same wayt she loved, and hated, and resented Jackie. She has never really learned to communicate her desires honestly, never learned what it was to have a dream that might conflict with the ideas of others, no matter how badly she wants that. And maybe it could have. Maybe she could have wanted to kill the rabbit, except it DID die, and she blames herself for that. She blames her desires for that, and so tried again to stop having them. 

It’s just going to end in tears again.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 3)

Yesterday we discussed Mikan's first day at the academy and the establishment of her and Natsume as enemies. Today we'll see how Mikan adjusts to being an Alice student. Nothing seems to work out for her and Natsume becomes unavoidable, even though he's no more likeable than before.

I'll be introducing further the concept of "discovering" or understanding Natsume, which will be a vital step toward tolerating and eventually liking him.

<- Prev Next ->

Chapter Six

Mikan remembers her long first day, after receiving her excellent news. She is to spend the night with Hotaru because she won’t be assigned a dorm room until the next day. She’s excited until Narumi also lets her know that she is prohibited from contacting anybody on the outside, including Jii-chan. She’s dismayed, because she left Jii-chan on messy terms, having stolen his money and left nothing more than a vague letter. 

Act first, think later.

Mikan thinks of everything she learned in the past day, that Hotaru had been working for the best student award, that Natsume is allegedly a repeat escapist, that the school isn’t an easy place to be. She remembers that everyone else is struggling with this too, not just her. She wants to be mature and understanding, but it’s not easy when she’s not even sure for how long she will have to be patient (another example of Narumi withholding information instead of being more clear). Yuu tries to be helpful by suggesting she write letters. Mikan quickly jumps on that idea, thinking back on her grandpa scolding her for acting before she thinks, since that’s exactly what she did when she ran away (another example of her grandpa influencing her decisions and thought processes). 

Narumi agrees to send her letters too easily, and both Hotaru and Ruka make skeptical expressions. They both know from experience just how challenging it can be to pass the censors. On top of that, Mikan is an unusual student for no real reason. She is obviously being treated differently, having to play these ridiculous and dangerous games just to prove herself an alice when they have the means to test her in much safer ways. 

But Mikan thinks this school is a basket of the bizarre, just a strange and funky place. There’s weird rules, but every other aspect seems benign, so even the unfair elements seem like nothing more than part of the territory. She doesn’t realize quite yet that she has been singled out since the beginning, and that she will be until the end. It’s interesting to compare the tone of certain panels and pages, because other characters will hint or give warning about the school’s darkness, but Mikan, especially in the beginning, remains oblivious. She’s focused on learning how to fit in, how to get used to alices. Corruption, abuse, and mistreatment is above her pay grade. Mikan, the lone child in a class of children.

I don’t think this story should have ever been classified as primarily comedy. The story has been dark from the start and had a clear direction to get even darker. The only thing that keeps it from being a tragedy from the start is the fact that our main character is Mikan. She might think this school is just a wacky place, but everyone around her knows better. Her ignorance and naivety is entirely responsible for the tone of the story, not the actual content itself.

Natsume wakes up, and the first thing he does is retaliate against Narumi for using his alice on him, injuring him minorly. An alarm starts ringing and Narumi warns him to make a run for it because his “nemesis” will arrive soon. Though that is, of course, mysterious, just like everything else about Natsume, Mikan can’t dwell on that because he calls out to her. He gives her a thumbs down and warns her that she’s gonna regret coming to the academy of her own free will. 

Weird ass easter egg, but the entire Northern Woods arc features this animosity between Hotaru and that monkey. Pay attention when you read GA because there's always something truly ridiculous happening in the background.

She retorts angrily that he’s the only reason she’d regret it, but she chooses to focus on the good instead, and on being a new Alice student.

I already described Natsume’s warning in his essay. It sounds like a threat, but Natsume doesn’t want to involve himself with her anymore. He is sure she will regret enrolling regardless of anything he does or doesn’t do. 

But to Mikan, it sure sounds like a threat. She’s just made a huge enemy. He’s a troublemaker and maybe even a murderer, she’s been warned to stay away from him, and on top of all that, he’s been nothing but a jerk for the whole time she’s known him. Whoever Natsume’s nemesis is doesn’t matter, because he is hers. 

Natsume’s feelings for Mikan are easy to track. He’s very obvious about it from the start and goes from 0 to 100 in an instant. Mikan’s feelings are more complicated, even from the start. Her feelings change at a slower pace, but they also start changing and flip-flopping much earlier than his. Hopefully, I can do a good job tracing those feelings. We’re starting at hatred, at the enemies stage of enemies to lovers.

Mikan is formally introduced to the class as an official Alice. Though Natsume’s most loyal followers are still bitter, the rest of the class accepts Mikan eagerly and they even chat her up, interested in how she made it through the woods. Mikan is happy, because this is a sharp change from yesterday, when everyone was cruel to her. She likes being liked, after all.

Narumi notices that Natsume hasn’t arrived yet and Mikan laments that. She wanted to show off her nullification alice, but it’s a nice change of pace to see the classroom on its best behavior, as opposed to the chaos she’d seen before.

And then he stumbles in, wearing his mask again, body covered in bruises and cuts. Everyone is startled, even Mikan, who remembers what Misaki-sensei told her about the mask. She notices the wounds and watches Natsume lash out at Permy. The class gossips about the mask, sharing that he always gets in a sour mood when he wears the mask, in part because it gives off a constant shock to the brain, so his head is always aching.

The marks on the wrist and neck suggest that he was restrained there. His legs and what's visible of his face are scratched up and bloody which implies a brutal beating before the mask was placed. And then there's the mask as the cherry on top. This is DA punishment for stepping out of line. Though it's obvious corporal punishment is the norm for discipline at this school, I think it varies from teacher to teacher (Narumi stealing a bean-whip to whip children, Jinno using his alice to electrify kids, and Persona... doing whatever he does, though I'm unsure if he beats kids himself or if he has the Discipline Squad dole out punishments).

I wish I could say more about this for Mikan’s perspective. I think it must be shocking for her, yet another glimpse into the abuse the school is willing and able to dish out. Natsume’s in constant pain, getting abused, et cetera. The issue here is that even though Mikan might be surprised about the form of punishment, this is treated like a regular thing. She’s the weirdo, even if the world seems upside down here. If everyone else acts like it’s normal, then it must be normal. 

After all, Narumi is quick to change the subject, ready to announce the person who will be Mikan’s partner and guide her around the school. He doesn’t linger on the dark atmosphere, staying upbeat as if nothing really happened, so she changes gear too. Mikan’s just trying to keep up. She’s excited for Hotaru or Yuu, maybe, to be her new partner until Narumi declares he’s already picked someone: Hyuuga Natsume. 

Mikan is horrified. 

Nobody wants to see someone come into a room all beaten up, and Mikan was just as concerned as anybody about what had happened to him before class, but that doesn’t mean she wants Natsume as a partner. Whatever happened to him was a punishment for what he did to her, after all, and she hasn’t forgotten the events from yesterday. He’s dangerous and black cats are supposed to be avoided, but how can she avoid this guy if they’re supposed to be partners?!

There's actually a bunch of hearts on this panel. You might not be able to see them, but Naru and I can.

Natsume acts like he doesn’t care and Mikan feels Narumi is out of his mind. They’re both oblivious to the fact that Narumi is acting on his own, independent of the school, playing matchmaker maybe, or more likely trying to stir the pot so that he can draw Yuka in. 

Whatever Misaki thinks about Natsume is obviously not relevant to Narumi. Narumi doesn’t want Mikan staying away from Natsume. He wants them to keep interacting, even if they hate each other. And now that they’re partners, Mikan can’t stay away, even if she wants to. 

Soon after this, Mikan is introduced to the star ranking system. She’s in awe of Hotaru and Yuu, both triple stars. She then asks what Natsume’s is, only to learn that he somehow earned the special star rank.

It’s interesting that Mikan is interested in Natsume so early on. She clearly doesn’t like him, but she frequently asks about him, like now, or in the Northern Woods. I think this points to her earliest impression of him being a mystery. He might be a menace, but he’s also a giant question mark, and she’s a curious girl. She wants to know more about him, partly because he’s one of the first Alices she met, and partly because, like I said, Mikan likes understanding people. So far, he remains strictly incomprehensible, so she has to find something that will make his behavior suddenly make sense. 

The answer to that is not found in his star rank. He is a rude troublemaker who has tried to escape, so how could he possibly be a special star? She’s outraged by how unfair that is until Sumire haughtily defends him, explaining that Natsume has a genius alice, and that his ability trumps his behavior. 

Mikan is concerned. Now that she’s been assigned Natsume as a partner, people seem to think she must be remarkable. Yuu and Hotaru, her only friends, are outstanding and impressive and earned their triple stars, but Mikan is not academically gifted and her alice is new. She doesn’t have a lot to show for herself, even though she’s being associated with the cream of the crop.

She comes to these conclusions on her own (that lower alice ranks are useless, that the SA class is full of rejects) that feed into her little complex. She might be loud and outgoing, but that doesn't mean she has much of a self esteem.

Hotaru reassures her that the ranking is just someone’s opinion. It isn’t anything to worry about. Additionally, Yuu chimes in that she has a rare alice and that she will do well in the evaluation. If she was dealing with a reasonable teacher, like maybe Misaki, then maybe she’d get a fair ranking and end up as a single or double star right from the start.

But just her luck, Sumire and her friends are not done bullying her and the teacher who evaluates her is not reasonable. Their pranks annoy Jinno--the strictest teacher in the school--and as a result he assigns her a star rank: no star, the lowest possible rank. 

What is the thematic significance of Mikan starting out at the very bottom and Natsume somehow sitting at the very top? We can see clearly that the system is corrupt, just like the whole school is, that the students’ lives are influenced by their academic standing, to a ridiculous degree (where the lowest scoring students live in abject poverty while the best students live like 1 percenters, drinking champagne and eating grapes). It’s almost caricaturish, how Mikan has the terrible luck of getting a no star rank. Narratively paired :)

Chapter Seven

The pyramid structure is misleading. The no-star level being on the bottom implies that most kids would place there, but Mikan is the only no-star in the elementary division, because not even Class A kids rank that low. Natsume is the only special, she's the only no-star.

Mikan quickly learns that being a no star is unpleasant. She’s assigned a dusty, dirty attic for her dorm room. Her dinner is sparse. 

She complains, and capitalist Hotaru points out that if she wants better accommodations, she should try harder. Pick yourself up by the bootstraps and all. That might be the case, but it’s still atrocious that Mikan should get such treatment from a school as wealthy as Alice Academy. Besides, even Hotaru knows that Mikan is being singled out. Moving up the ranks will not be an easy task.

Hotaru the capitalist (if you hate being poor, why don't you try harder?) and Comrade Yuu the socialist (we can share our dinner because you need nutrients).

It’s bedtime and Mikan is distraught. Her room sucks. Her rations suck. Her life is bound to suck.

She writes a letter to Jii-chan, griping about her situation, until she sees Takahashi consoling some little kids who are crying for their mother. Mikan realizes that she chose to come here. Everyone else was avoiding this fate or is trying to escape. Most kids didn’t choose to come to Alice Academy, unlike her. 

She left her old life, her Jii-chan, behind to chase after Hotaru. Now that she’s here, it would be unfair to Jii-chan to write a letter full of complaints, which would only make him more worried than he already is. She learns this lesson on her own, after reflecting on her behaviors. She may be immature at times, but this degree of emotional maturity is quite impressive. She’s able to reach this conclusion without any outside prompting.

Jii-chan calling her an idiot turns into her calling herself an idiot. He is just that much a part of her. She is able to turn into her own Jii-chan, to scold herself and learn her own lessons, in his absence.

She remembers that Natsume had warned her she’d regret coming here, and that fills her with spite too, one of her strongest motivators. She writes a new letter to Jii-chan and refuses to sulk.

She tries to go to sleep, but she misses him. It’s the first time she fully processes that she’s apart from him and won’t see him again for a while. There’s of course the life-long yearning she’s always had for her presumably dead parents, but this is different. Jii-chan is more than just an idea, he’s always been in her life, and now she’s without him. Mikan’s stay at Alice Academy will bring her gradual bouts of new trauma. This is only one of the first in a long string, and one of the most important motivators. Seeing her grandpa again is the only thing Mikan knows for sure that she wants. This is a struggle Mikan has to cope with, and the only comfort she has is that she’s not alone in missing her family. 

Speaking of, we see an inexplicable panel: Natsume and Mikan, both in their own beds. In my Natsume essay, I couldn’t really say for sure why Natsume shows up here beyond thinking that they’re paired narratively. I still think they’re being paralleled here, but I might have more to say. Ruka will point it out later, but Natsume and Mikan are two sides of the same coin, both narratively and in terms of the school’s treatment. Natsume is a special; Mikan is a no-star. Natsume is the most popular kid in class; Mikan is the most despised. He wishes he didn’t have an alice; she wishes she had a better one. They’re being singled out in different ways and now they’re partners. When they’re paired here on this page, it’s as much a signal to their current connection as it is to a future connection. Mikan is missing Jii-chan, and we can assume Natsume is missing his family too (Mikan left willingly without understanding the consequences, Natsume left his fully understanding the consequences). 

I cannot overstate how much I love these panels. They're paired from the start. Argue with the wall.

Feeling lonely, Mikan makes her way to Hotaru’s room. Luckily, Hotaru isn’t really bothered, but she leaves Mikan behind on the way to school so Mikan is punished for being late. Her punishment is trash can puke-cleaning, the single most disgusting-sounding chore I’ve ever heard. Even though every part of the chore is challenging, Mikan doesn’t give up. She has learned her lesson: she will not complain. She’ll just try her best until she fixes her star rank. She’s resilient, and now that Naru can see that, he’s struck with the similarities between her and her mother. There’s no question they’re related. He knows, especially by now. Yuka kept a smile despite her intense and long-lasting suffering, and it’s no doubt that he’s invited Mikan into a similar fate. 

Mikan is surprised by Ruka, who drops by to warn her that she’s being watched by the academy, that the way she’s being treated is not normal at all, and that she shouldn’t trust any of the teachers, even her beloved Narumi-sensei. This is the first time she gets a real sense that things are awry. Misaki-sensei tried to explain things, but he meant to reassure her. Narumi is always upbeat so it’s hard to be suspicious. And if Natsume tells her she’ll regret coming to the school, that’s just because he’s a bully. But Ruka, who she knows is nice and sweet deep down, is warning her that the school is out to get her. 

Mikan gets further proof of this warning when Jinno punishes her for nothing, really. He uses his alice on her and she wonders why she should have to be treated this way. It’s important that Mikan can see for herself that the way she’s being treated is wrong. She keeps her sunny disposition, of course, because Hotaru ultimately saves her, but she knows now that something isn’t right, that she is being singled out. Though she got a sense of that earlier with her star rank, that the way she was treated wasn’t fair or proportional to what she had done, this is the first time that she has gotten confirmation. Momentarily, it might feel very much like a Jinno problem, since the other teachers are much more reasonable in comparison, but she will learn quickly that the entire staff is in on it: she is not a normal alice student.

"Attack me back" is such an insidious line. Mikan's alice is defensive, not offensive. She can't attack with it. She can only stop others' attacks.

Chapter Eight

Natsume and Mikan are deskmates but they hate each other just as much as they always have. She sits next to a guy she can barely stand who never stands up for her and is actually looking forward to watching her lose it. 

Mikan is still concerned about what Ruka told her, but she has new priorities because today is the day for ability classes. In addition to star ranks, kids are divided based on alice ability type. After learning about each of them, Mikan wonders about herself, hoping she’s not in the Special Ability class, the one she assumes is full of losers and rejects. Naturally, she’s in the SA class, and she’s despairing about it. 

Again, Mikan comes to conclusions about things on her own and then lets it lower her self-esteem more. (Though, to be fair, no-star ranks and SA class membership are looked down upon in the academy; she just needs help seeing value in herself despite what others think.)

Mikan is already insecure about her unimpressive alice. She’s already a no-star. And now, on top of all that, she’s in the sketchy SA class, her alice proving to be unimpressive in every way. Mikan’s reluctance to be a part of the lame-sounding SA class is just another facet of her self-consciousness about her alice. She wants to have a flashy and impressive alice, and that means she wants to be in a flashy and impressive class. She wants to be useful and impressive like she thinks everyone else is.

Of course she gets curious about Natsume too, because she always is, wondering what his ability class is. A helpful Koko passing by fills her in that he’s in the Dangerous Ability class, which Narumi described as mysterious. She thinks that’s fitting, because Natsume is mysterious too. 

"Fated" in that fate puts them in the same space. The rest is up to them.

Natsume’s mysteriousness is the only thing that keeps her interested in him. He’s a jerk and she has no good feelings towards him, but he’s like a puzzle and none of the pieces that she collects get her any closer to figuring him out. Her interest in him starts limited only to solving him--understanding him, perhaps--and it’s only when she starts to see glimpses of parts of himself that he’d prefer to keep hidden that her feelings start changing. But learning that he’s in the DA class is like getting a lego that she’s supposed to fit into the jigsaw puzzle. There’s no answers to be found in the mysterious guy being in the mysterious class.

Just as she’s thinking about him, he rounds the corner and they run into each other. 

It’s not her fault she had to run into him--bad timing--but all of a sudden he’s got her trapped, arm over her mouth, keeping her in place and warning her not to make a sound or else he’ll kill her. His previous warning (that she’d regret coming to the school) may not have been a threat, but this one definitely is. As they’re hiding, Persona comes around, calling for Natsume. That guy is obviously a mystery too, but he leaves and Natsume is relieved.

In the Natsume essay, I described how he is scared here, desperate to avoid being caught. He’s acting this way to survive. 

Mikan doesn’t really know or care about that.

She can maybe tell that he doesn’t wanna be caught by the weirdo in black, but he certainly doesn’t seem scared, just inconvenienced, and the more pressing matter is that he threatened her and is now suffocating her. Besides, it’s hard to imagine that a person like Natsume could ever get scared, especially when he seems so angry and determined. He keeps his feelings on the inside, so she has no choice but to take what he gives. She tears away from him and then starts yelling at him (beginning a little habit) and then gets even madder when he ignores her (he’s beginning one too).

They’re interrupted by a group of middle schoolers who call Mikan Natsume’s girlfriend, offending both of them, because gross. Natsume, cool as a cucumber, starts to leave, unimpressed, until he gets called a murderer, and Mikan remembers the rumor Hotaru told her. Poor Mikan only watches helplessly as Natsume gets insulted and then as Natsume fights back by setting some fires. 

There's a moment here where they're aligned. She doesn't get attacked by his fire and also doesn't look scared the way the others do. She's just confused and startled because she doesn't understand that's going on. For just one moment it seems they might be on the same side.

Mikan is our discoverer character, our Alice in Wonderland. For now she knows very little about the world she’s fallen into, and Natsume is the biggest mystery of them all. She can see here that for all of the love Natsume gets in Class B, he is despised outside of it. Now, outside the elementary division, they have enemies in common. The same people who hate her hate him too. He gets bullied here, just like her, but he has a violent and dangerous alice he can use to fight back. 

One of the middle schoolers grabs Mikan and threatens her if Natsume doesn’t stick around. She’s again called his girlfriend, and suddenly her fate is in Natsume’s hands. But he only smirks and walks off, leaving her to her own devices. They might have the same enemies outside of the elementary division, but that doesn’t mean he’s on her side. 

She is feisty though, and tries her best to fight her bullies off, kicking with all her might, until someone finally comes around who’s willing to save her.

Before finding out that he's a SA type too, Mikan is impressed by Tsubasa and his alice. He's so cool! But they're in the same class. Doesn't that mean she can be impressive too?

We meet Tsubasa, who is cool and snarky and has an impressive alice. He swoops in to save Mikan from her tormentors, and gets called a slacker as he does it. When he finds out he just saved the newest addition to the SA class, and Natsume’s partner, he introduces himself as a fellow SA classmate. 

Mikan has a senpai now, a cool upperclassman who tells her it’s okay to be a weirdo. Then she meets Misaki too, and the whole SA class, who have planned a welcome party for her. 

They’re a small class of weirdos, but they quickly accept her, no test or exam needed. 

Mikan says that she’s been at the academy for a week but only now has she found a place she truly belongs.

Interesting that he calls it a "family feeling" because that kind of familial closeness is exactly what Mikan wants and cherishes.

This is interesting because she’s reunited with Hotaru. She’s finally being accepted in the elementary division. She has already made friends with a few kids from Class B, but she’s still being bullied there, and they all seem so different. Even Hotaru and Yuu are on another plane. They are successful triple stars in totally acceptable ability classes, who aren’t singled out or marked unfairly.

I mentioned before that I reckon Mikan didn’t have a lot of friends before going to the academy, that Hotaru was her only friend. My opinion is that Mikan has always been a bit of a weirdo. I think Hotaru might have been one of the first people to embrace her weirdness because she was weird too. Though it can be beneficial to be an outgoing and loud girl, Mikan doesn’t always fit in with people. She’s still odd, among normal people and even at this school of oddities. She’s a no-star, setting her apart from her classmates. She’s entirely new to alices and hadn’t known for a while that she was one, making her life experiences inherently different than most other students. She’s partnered with Natsume, giving her a bad reputation to the upperclassmen and unfair expectations to the Class B kids. 

This part makes me cry every single time. Yes. Even now.

She might desire to, but she doesn’t feel like she fits in with them, no matter how hard she tries and she is trying. But here, in the SA class, she feels like she belongs, like she’s welcome. She is weird, but that’s a good thing. It’s okay to be a slacker or a no-star, to be unpopular and misunderstood by others. She doesn’t have to try hard. She’s in the class of outcasts in a school of outcasts. For all of her initial reluctance, this is her new favorite place to be.

Conclusion

Mikan has been challenged by her first few days at the academy. Her feelings of uselessness have only deepened, but she's also finally found a place where she belongs. She's also been introduced to more Natsume-related mysteries. Tomorrow, Mikan will have to face the hard truth that it's not just Jinno who is singling her out. She'll also start to see Natsume in a new light.

I hope you enjoyed reading. My sister told me I should put the navigation arrows at the top too so that you don't have to scroll all the way to the bottom to get to the next essay, so I'll try to incorporate that into my essays from now on. I wish I had more to say here but I'm tired so I can't think of anything clever. Have a nice day <3

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[icedcoffeeandsunshine]

Hello! It’s me again😅

Thank you very much for answering me last time! I’m in love with that work. So… Can I ask for some kind of continuation of a story? Where Gray and Ethernano Dragon Slayer go to a difficult mission together and one of them get injured badly. Only after that they decide to confess. I’m sorry for bothering you with this story😅

hello! i’m so glad you asked because while writing my psychology exam (inspiration strikes me at the worst times) i came up with an idea for this lol also demon slayer gray is FINE AS HELL

i think this kind of really sucks 😃 but i feel like i’ve procrastinated because of college entrance exams so i hope it’s minorly up to par with what you wanted and sorry for making you wait!

Unrequited (Part 2) - Gray Fullbuster

“Lillian! Hi! ”

Fairy Tails Ethernano Dragon Slayer turned around at the sound of her name being called.

Juvia smiled at her.

“Yeah, what’s up?” The Slayer blinked. This was the first time the Water Mage had ever acknowledged, let alone even interacted with her.

“I was wondering if you’d like to go on a job with Gray-sama and I? You don’t look like you have anything better to do, if I’m gonna be blunt and the job requires three people” Juvia shrugged.

Juvia could be slightly naïvely straight-to-the-point and mildly mean at times but she was right. Lillian didn’t really have anything better to do. The rest of team Natsu were out helping Sting and Rogue sort out some mundane guild controversy and the rest of the guild was busy doing…whatever they did throughout the day.

Which is why Lillian found herself third wheeling Gray and Juvia on said job.

Though, it could be noted that something was different. Juvia wasn’t as stuck on to Gray as she usually was. In fact, the both of them felt sort of distant somehow.

Like all Dragon Slayers, Lillian had one special heightened sense. Her specific sense was that she could easily sense the emotions, and in a way, the aura between two or more people. And her sense told her something was definitely off today.

While they were walking towards the borders of Magnolia, Juvia slowed her pace so that Lillian and her were walking together and Gray was a few paces ahead.

“Lillian, can we talk?”

“Hm?” Lillian raised a brow. Two interactions in one day? This was news.

“I think…I’ve come to terms with the fact that Gray and I aren’t meant to be together”

This simple statement nearly made Lillian trip over her own two feet.

“What?”

Juvia stared wistfully at the boy walking in front of her and sighed.

“I see the way he looks at you, and how you look at him. You two clearly have something between you”

“Juvia, that’s not-”

Juvia held up a hand and smiled at Lillian.

“I’m not bothered. Seriously. I think part of growing up is learning acceptance and accepting that Gray doesn’t and will never reciprocate my feelings, and will never feel for me the way he feels for you. It stings, to be honest but accepting it will only be better for me in the end, I think. I’m fine, though.”

Lillian gulped as the blue haired mage’s words sunk in. She hung her head, deep in thought. Did Gray really care for her in that way? Had everyone just been feeding the whole Gray-Juvia agenda down her throat when Gray liked Lillian all along?

She didn’t have much time to think deeper into the topic as a huge snake rose from the ground in front of them and the three mages got into battle stance.

───◌┈┈───♡⃝───┈┈◌───

*timeskip because i suck at writing fight scenes: this part is set in a cave*

“What we’re you thinking?”

Lillian winced as she felt cold fingertips on her cheek.

Her eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the light. Her throat felt like sandpaper and she had a throbbing ache on her waist.

“Oh thank god, you’re up” Gray sighed, removing his hand from her face.

“What-” The Ethernano Dragon Slayer attempted to stand but winced as her legs gave way. Luckily, Gray was able to grab her before she hit the ground.

“What happened is that you threw yourself in front of Juvia and now you’ve got cuts and bruises everywhere. I’ve sent her to go get reinforcements because the job isn’t completed yet and you’re badly injured” The Ice Mage folded his arms over his chest “Again, Lil, what the actual fuck were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t…I think”

Gray scoffed “No shit”

“Why are you so pressed about this?”

“I’m not pressed”

“Yeah sure, that’s why you’re YELLING at me”

“I’m not”

“I don’t get it, why are you so concerned? You know I can handle myself”

“Because I care about you, idiot!” Gray froze as the words left his lips on impulse.

Lillian blinked.

“Say what?”

“I…” The Ice Mage averted his gaze from Lillian “I care about you…and not just as a comrade”

The Ethernano Dragon Slayer felt her cheeks heat up.

“I-uh” She gulped.

“You don’t need to say anything, I don’t expect you to”

“I like you too, Gray. I have for a while now”

There it was. Out in the open. The Dragon Slayer hated being vulnerable in any situation and this was no exception.

A moment of comfortable silence ensued before Lillian spoke up.

“Do you think we should go out to see whether the others have come or…”

“Yeah, I think”

They started moving towards the cave entrance when Gray stopped Lillian.

“Hey” He lightly touched her wrist “When this is over, would you like to go out on a date?”

The girl smiled and leaned up to kiss his cheek, making the normally stoic wizard blush furiously.

“I’d love that”

[xoteajays]

i actually do wanna ask you about cosima clayborne/patchwork and the big 3 sooooooooo bad!! what can you share 👀

yesss cos and the big 3!!!

okay, so at this point in time, i don’t think the big 3 know each other’s secret identities. i think they know each other as heroes and as civilians, but have not connected the dots yet. (well maybe bruce has). i'm breaking this into three parts.

first cos + bruce aka patchwork + batman

cosima and bruce meet at an art show that cos’ bosses are attending. bruce has been forced to attend by alfred because bruce’s been locked up in his mansion too long. cosima’s bosses are mingling while cos stroll the show, looking at art pieces. she and bruce end up looking at the same piece but don’t talk to each other until one of cos’ bosses who knows bruce cuts in. when he eventually leaves, cos and bruce get to talking - well bruce talks, cos writes because bruce doesn’t know sign language (yet). later in the night, cosima accidentally runs into someone because she was trying to lip-read while they walked and gets champagne on her dress. bruce offers her his handkerchief to help her soak it up. he doesn’t end up getting it back from her and she shows up at his mansion a few days later to return it. she ends up meeting alfred instead and he invites her inside to wait (because bruce needs friends and alfred knows it). i also hc that alfred knows sign language. all three eventually get closer and bruce quickly learns sign and cos is very impressed.

batman and patchwork are only minorly antagonistic with each other. she’s not committing totally villainous actions like joker or riddler, but she is constantly breaking into museums and causing trouble for the gcpd. she also works with catwoman a lot (because cos needs to pay her many many bills). he’s very impressed by her suit’s fabric because of its cloaking capabilities, but just like how he can’t sway her to the ‘heroic’ side, he can’t convince her to work with lucius fox despite the money offered. she is also, very much, flirting with him all the time under the assumption he doesn't know sign or that she's deaf; he eventually shows that he does understand her but it's like a while after she's been sign-flirting with him.

now cos + clark / patch + superman

clark gets sent to gotham for a story with cosima’s company but her bosses don’t want to do the interview/‘are too busy’ and pawn it off on cosima who knows the company really well. it’s a bit of a slow process because clark doesn’t know sign language but cosima is used to it by this point and has an ipad she uses at work to ‘speak’. clark insists that by their next interview, he’ll know sign. he’s a bit slower than bruce, but he does figure it out between gotham visits. he really puts her name on the map with the interview and asks to see her own work when he’s looking at the company’s pieces. he knows he can’t put it in with the interview, but he compliments her work anyway. he’s not often in gotham, but he does always go and visit her when he is.

like clark, superman isn’t often in gotham, he knows it’s batman’s terf. when he is in gotham, he does sometimes offer a helping hand (even tho batman doesn't want it). he runs into patchwork once. it’s an awkward ‘fight’ since her suit’s vibration sensors can’t notice him sneaking up on her since he’s flying and also she can’t hear him speaking but he’s not catching onto that. she makes her escape before he can get her taken in.

finally the ladies. cos + diana / patch + wonder woman

diana heads to gotham to appraise some art pieces they’d recently gotten in at the museum and she meets cos there, because even when cos isn’t breaking into the museum as patch, she does like visiting it. they get to talking about art in the greek section of the gotham museum and diana is the only one of the big 3 that actually knows and is fluent in sign prior to meeting cos. i like to headcanon that she kept up with the development of sign language over the years, but sometimes accidentally uses signs specific to themyscira and sometimes cos points it out and diana says it’s an ‘old greek dialect’ but cos can see it’s something deeper than that but also doesn't push the subjects. anyway, they’re coffee and art friends. the hottest of besties.

wonder woman actually catches patch in the act of a crime but let’s her get away with it because patchwork is stealing back a piece of native art that she plans to return to it’s rightful owners. diana knows the pain of seeing stolen heritage up in a museum and just lets her go. besides, gotham is batman’s terf and he obviously isn’t dealing with her so if wonder woman’s going to kick anybody’s ass in gotham it’s going to be one of those bastards actually hurting people.

also i do think it’d be funny if they were all dating each other.

[generallygenderless]

The fun/weird thing about being a sorta-minorly-transmasc nonbinary person, at least in my experience, is how it relates to attraction.

If I like a girl, because I know I’m perceived as a girl and I have some small attachment to the gender I pretended to be for years, it feels gay. I’m pretty sure that some of the people in my life view me as essentially a bi girl with they/them pronouns. Hell, to the family I’m half-closeted to I seem like a bi girl (which nothing against bi girls but for me it feels wrong because I know I’m not one).

If I like a guy, because I feel a little more along the masc lines, it’s gay. I don’t know exactly why, and that detail alone makes me wonder if I’m a Trans Guy In Denial (TGID).

And of course, being nonbinary, if I like a nonbinary person that’s technically same gender attraction, which is literally gay.

So either way it’s queer and I guess that’s the best way to explain it. None of my love or attraction has ever been straight, it’s always a queer love and I don’t even know if that makes sense out of my head.

It doesn’t help that I’m also sorta genderfluid I think, and I know that my gender vibes are mildly influenced by attraction (including aesthetic alone).

But even with friends it’s this way to a degree.

With girls, I’m aware of how I’m viewed, and how I just don’t relate to their experience of gender. And those experiences leak into conversation in a lot of different ways, but in a group of girls, especially cishet ones, I just feel like an impostor. Because I look like them but I don’t understand their world and their culture.

With guys, still aware of how I’m viewed, because it can affect my safety in a space. Whether out or not, I’ve had guys I thought were friends who were really just trying to get with me. And being careful is a necessity. But I kinda wanna feel like one of the guys, and I think that’s part of why videogaming with my school friend lately has been so fun. I like that I feel affirmed in my gender identity somehow because I’m bonding with a guy friend in a traditionally masculine way. Or maybe the game itself has nothing to do with it but the vibes do. I’m unsure.

With nonbinary people, it’s generally pretty chill. Sometimes our gendervibes are similar and other times it’s not. Sometimes all I know about them are their pronouns but it just helps somehow. To know that someone else gets it I guess.

I don’t talk much about my gender lately. It shows. I don’t hear my name often during the summer, so my club meetings and game sessions affirm me in a way that home life only sometimes does. My mom has my pronoun-shuffle down in a way that seems natural, but she alternates names too. It’s fine, but it feels like two different identities and I’ve wondered for a few years now if my name discomfort might be trauma related.

In any event, I fuck up my own pronouns lately and stuff. It’s weird because it feels wrong every time but it still happens. I struggle with which name to use and it’s uncomfortable. Kinda dysphoric lately but in a quiet way. Little bits of discomfort that I don’t realize until I reflect on the day.

Earlier today, a friend misgendered me and I caught it the first time. He caught and corrected it the second time. I said it was alright because it is, long-term, but every time I remember it, inevitably part of me wants to laugh while the other part just feels uncomfortable.

The friend meant no harm. I’m just having these issues lately.