#<-really describe 5sos in one word anyway

[edge-oftheworld]

no hate for somewhere new it was genuinely good but what I would give for a re-record of unpredictable

[deezbutz28]

sweet venom

a/n: so this was previously called "never in a million years..." i wrote a little blurb and now i decided to expand on it

tags: fluff, angst, enemies to ???? (lil situationship thing going on

also ms.y/n is a fan of 5SOS!! 5SOSMOAS RISEEEEE

wc: 1.6k

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

you were out with your friends scrolling through instagram. looking at new people to follow your eyes find one person you don't like... kang taehyun. you are a snoopy person by heart, so of course you hit the follow button.

you hated each other. although, you hadn't really feuded with him in the past year, but a part of you still found him so annoying. why did you guys hate each other? who knows?

the night goes by quickly, and you are back at home in your bed. your phone buzzes with a new notification.

*kangtaehyun has requested to follow you*

of course you accept, immediately going to stalk his page. no posts, not many followers, and a dull bio... his account must be new, you think to yourself.

after a few minutes of looking at his page, a direct message notification pops up. you open it, and shocked to see that taehyun has sent you a reel.

the video was stupid. it started out by you listening to some guy playing the piano... until you got rickrolled. how mature you thought to yourself. you wonder why he would send that to you, but then you realize...two years ago, you made fun of him for listening to the song (unironically). he then got fussy and tried starting an argument.

from then on you both had always made sure to mock, yell, and argue with each other. couldn't even stand being in the same room.

you answer with a question mark, curious about why he would send that to you.

he responds quickly, with a response that makes you cringe but also roll your eyes.

kangtaehyun: i heard you're a really big fan of this song !

y/n: you're so funny taehyun (sarcasm)... but how could you forget i am a big fan of five seconds of summer?!

kangtaehyun: how can i? they are literally all you talk about. i don't even understand the hype around them anyways.

with this you are appalled, so you immediately respond.

y/n: honestly i think you would like a few of their songs honestly. you should at least try listening to waste the night, you don't go to parties, and more...

kangtaehyun: hmm... fine, i'll give them a try. i'm expecting to be blown away, i'm expecting good things cause of you

y/n: will be expecting a fully detailed report...

kangtaehyun: yes ma'am

immediately you find that entire conversation weird. why in the world did he start conversation with you? wasn't he in some sort of relationship or something? that was the reason you decided to follow him in the first place, you wanted to see if he posted any pics of them. he was so whipped for that girl...

so you decide to leave it alone and go to bed. you wonder if he'll keep his word or not.

you wake up to a text from taehyun. it was indeed very detailed describing the aspects he liked and disliked. he even went and listen to more than you suggested. immediately you respond by saying how shocked you were. the conversation continues, you both talking about types of music you enjoy.

he asks you about other artists you like, favorite songs, and certain performances. he shocks you yet again by watching some of the performances you enjoyed. again you are constantly thinking hard about the situation... you are so confused on what type of game he is playing.

you finally tell your friends, and they immediately tell you to see where it heads. one of your friends saying, "if you realize you don't like him just friendzone him or distance yourself."

you and taehyun talk constantly for the whole week. whenever you get a chance to be on your phone at work, you are either texting him or responding to him. your friends constantly teased you about it. even his friends had found it a bit strange because you two hated each other so much before.

dread has finally settled in. you realize that you like him. and you realize that he probably likes you. he is constantly flirting and makes little ways to poke fun at you.

him saying:

honestly, i don't know why we didn't get along before

and

you are really cool

it gets to the point where he even sends you good night and good morning texts... what are you doing??? at this point, you have told him so much that he probably knows you better than your close friends. the thing is though, you've only texted each other and haven't even seen each other once.

finally he says he is going to show up at your work. but, he brings his friends... which you have an awkward relationship with some of them. beomgyu, who you've had a crush on off and on throughout the years. the others have made slight advances in which you all rejected. finally he shows up to the counter and you just give a slight smile... you couldn't even talk to him. once they made their way out and your friend just gave you a knowing look. what are you doing???

kangtaehyun: why didn't you say anything :( also is everything alright? you seemed a bit out of it.

you decide to come up with some bs response...

y/n: honestly we were really busy and i just wasn't really feeling it. :(

kangtaehyun: sorry to hear that :(

you tell him thanks and decide to leave it at that. you need to think about what you want to do in this situation.

school starts back up again in a week and maybe you'll have everything sorted out.

- - - - - - - - - - -

today is orientation and immediately you spot the pair of boba eyes. you don't sit by him because he is with his friends. you take a seat by you friends and constantly find yourself staring at him.

finally once the long lecture is over you make your way to the hallway. he is already there and you fall in line right behind him. there is no way he doesn't know that you are behind him. someone had said hi to you, so obviously he should know that you are right there. willing to be spoken to.

you've never been able to initiate anything in your life. but honestly right now you were willing to...

"miss y/n you are holding up the line," said the teacher who was dealing with the line. with that you realized that taehyun had disappeared. and once again left confused about the situation.

- - - - - - - - -

the entire month it is the same. you constantly talk to each other online but will act like you don't know each other in person. it is so frustrating. he was the one who initiated this entire thing????

but you decide to let it slide because your birthday is tomorrow. so, with that you go to bed and try not think about as your friends call it "situationship".

you wake up to a bunch of texts wishing you a happy birthday, but you are waiting for one text in particular. taehyun.

once you are driving to lunch, finally, your phone dings.

kangtaehyun: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!!!!

you thank him and he asks about your plans for the day. once you tell him he responds:

kangtaehyun: i hope you have the best day!! :)

your feelings are growing stronger and you don't know what to do. you think of all of the nice and kind things he says. but, you know that he has also been texting a few other girls. and it makes you feel less special. so, that is why you don't initiate anything in person, because no matter what you do you know you will get hurt in the end.

about a week later, he texts you. in the months you have been texting each other, you talk about the most niche and random things. so it isn't out of the blue that he asks you weird questions.

kangtaehyun: would you ever be interested in playing golf?

you tell him the truth, replying with a no and that sports aren't your thing. he responds with a "fair".

you decide to leave the conversation alone, because taehyun seems to be a bit moody. you ask you friends about the situation, and it turns out you are quite stupid. you completely misunderstood the question.

"he obviously was trying to get you to hang out with him y/n!!" your friend says, basically scolding you. with that you feel absolutely horrible, but at the same time... couldn't he just ask you normally?

the next day you decide to send him something you thought was funny. no response. the day after that you send him something again. no response.

so that's how he is going to deal with it. you decide that things are probably over and you guys are back to whatever you were two years ago.

a month later you and taehyun are involved in the same after school activity. thankfully it'll only last for two weeks but it still isn't easy. everyone was walking around the place you all were at and you were having a conversation with one of his friends.

of course, while you were talking you had said something in a weird way. and while taehyun was passing you two, he decided he would correct you in a passive aggressive tone.

so that is how it is going to be. the least you could say is that you had learned your lesson.

a/n: could you tell i had experience with this type of situation?? haha rip

[calumthoodshands]

2022 Writing Evaluation

ah well well well thank u to my dear friends @calumsash,@igarbagecannoteven and @burstingsunrise for tagging me! very intruiged to see what this year's one's gonna reveal.

numbers of stories posted on ao3: 11! therefore a bit more than 2021.

word count for this year: that's a bit tricky bc ao3 counts my unfinished fic into this year as a whole so imma have to calculate a bit... 88 k for the independent fics and 14 chapters which are abt... 50 k for Days in the sun. Ergo 138,000 words! Estimated.

fandoms i wrote for: 5SOS!

pairings: cake! but i do have some muke in the making. (somewhere in the far future.)

story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: (leaving dits aside) to my own surprise, the right shade of blue really seemed to resonate with a lot of people (shoutout to luke's makeup you really have power apparently), perfect fit has the most comments and of lovers and friends got bookmarked the most (it has the most hits from these three as well so it figures i guess)

work i'm most proud of: hmmmm. of lovers and friends is one of my angstier works and the one where i think i really conveyed what luke goes through quite well. a different story is perfect fit though. i love that one bc it's so simple and light but so effective. but also shoutout to molly's bday fic the hues of me and you bc i wanted to write that fic for so long and i do like how it turned out despite it being quite different from what i normally write

work i'm least proud of (and why): there's no work i'm not moderately proud of bc i rarely finish fics and only finish them when i really do like them if that makes sense? my biggest problem is still my writing style bc i'm not yet sure i like it. which is probably any writer's problem but especially with english being not my native language i just KNOW i lack a certain... confidence in what i write bc i know it could be better, and could have more flow, and be more natural than it is. i write fics with three translators open, looking up every third word trying to find the one that not only makes sense but also gives it... the right vibe. that's something that bothers me with any fic. this is also a problem with days in the sun bc i post it as i write, and i just know that if i waited to finish it and edited it as a whole and only then posted it i might have done some things differently, but on the other hand, i also know it wouldve never seen the light of day, so... you win some, you lose some.

share or describe a favourite review you received: oh my god okay right yeah. there've been several to be clear but i'll keep it short so. once upon a time team @4thbrighteststar read of lovers and friends (actually, more on that later) and i wasn't thinking abt it too much after it was posted but then. one day i got a message from team, and lo and behold. it was a song. a song that fit the fic. i was SCREAMING on the inside. absolutely screeching. TEAM WROTE THAT SONG AND THEN SENT IT TO ME ALL CASUAL LIKE THATS NOT INCREDIBLE. burned into my brain for all eternity. i could talk abt it much more but this is already getting so long so ILY TEAM THANK U ONCE MORE ILY

a time when writing was really, really hard: can i just say 2022? /hj no but in all honesty... i had a REALLY hard time last year. i had much less time than the year before, and when i did have time, i rarely could get myself to actually sit down and write. and on top of that there is of course not much engagement with my fics anyway so at times i was very discouraged, almost to the point that i wanted to stop writing... so, yeah. i try not to pressure myself as much this year, but we'll see, i guess.

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: actually, a lot of my fics are products of 'i'm just the writer i don't control what happens'. one funnier case though is probably football player luke in the hues of me and you. i never thought to make luke a football player bc it sounds so cliché but... as you can see it happened! and i think that's okay. i think i wrote him well enough.

a favourite excerpt of your writing: there's the hardest questions of them all, ah yes. fine. i'll actually try this time. AH yes okay yk what i got one:

i put more humor than usual into only on thursdays and i really like its lighthearted vibe <3 this isn't necessary my favourite scene but i also can't remember anything i wrote ever so it'll do lol

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? did i? i have no idea. i think i'm getting more confident in my writing with every fic i write, which is good. i've been more determined to work on my fics in terms of editing them after finishing, which i've been lousy with.

13. how do you hope to grow next year? hm... i hope i'll grow more confident. i hope i'll become more satisfied with my work.

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc.)?

@burstingsunrise it would be ridiculous not to mention molly although i technically don't even talk to her about my writing that explicitely. i do however constantly ask her dumb questions and always get a more or less serious answer, i can always come to her for advice or throwing around any and all ideas i ever get. she's also been a real cheerleader to me whenever i'm insecure abt my writing again which i really, really appreciate. on top of the usual amount of appreciation obviously

i also have to mention @the-girl-who-cried-wolf bc she's inspired me lots of times, be it with her moodboards and blog/aesthetic, her own writing or something else. also my biggest cheerleader, love u emma.

dearest team @4thbrighteststar for her support on of lovers and friends. the fic would've never been as good as it is without her.

lastly i have to mention @sophelkopter (/ @sophelkopter on ao3) bc i simply wouldn't have kept going with dits without their comments. eternal gratitude.

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? oh yeah! for sure.

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? just keep writing. and write EVERYTHING DOWN. that's all i got but also the most important two rules

17. any projects you're looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? i finally want to write MUKE and i want to write ballet cake and i'd love to write the stranger things au. most importantly, however: i will finish days in the sun this year. soon. no idea how soon, but soon, and just thinking about it makes me want to cry lol

18. tag some writers whose answers you'd like to read: hm not sure who might've not done it already so this is pure guessing but i'd like to read something from @carouselstars and @the-girl-who-cried-wolf and then anyone else who would like to do this!

[allsassnoclass]

2022 Writing Evaluation

I was tagged by the wonderful Bella @clumsyclifford (thank you for digging this up and tagging me first because i 100% was going to do it anyway lol)

also my pseudonyms are combined on ao3 so although this is my 5sos blog you will be hearing about my other fandom writing as well

1. number of stories posted on ao3: 17!

2. word count posted for this year: 124,269 on ao3, 23,433 for ask box prompts, so a grand total of 147,702!

3. fandoms i wrote for: 5sos, 1d, It (2017 and 2019 movies), Stranger Things, HSMTMTS, Cobra Kai

4. pairings: on ao3 we have some nice crisp muke, lashton, mashton, mashton (friendship version), cashton, cake, malum, narry, lilo (and then also kiaz and caswen (friendship(?) version) and reddie and hellcheer).  adding in the ask box prompts and we also have 5sos ot4, roylum, and lashton (friendship version)

5. story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: for all of those it’s technically my hellcheer fic, but for the 5sos ones hits and kudos are The Catch, comment threads is pas de deux! 

6. work i’m most proud of (and why): pas de deux hands down no question.  it’s my longest fic by over 20k!  i wrote it almost constantly from november to december and had a goal to post each chapter on christmas and the four sundays leading up to it and i actually accomplished that goal!!!! i’ve never successfully focused on one particular fic for that long, and it actually worked!!! plus, for such a long fic, i think i did a relatively good job of keeping characterizations consistent and sensical throughout, as well as finding little themes to carry through the entire fic (which i got lucky with tbh, some things that became running pieces of the fic were not planned out before, i just caught them as they were happening).  i haven’t read the fic back since completing it so it’s possible it’s not as cohesive or as good as i think it is, but i’m extremely proud of myself for it nonetheless.

7. work i’m least proud of (and why): right now, it’s probably when i watch the world burn.  i struggled with that one and in the end i don’t think it quite got to where i wanted it to, but i was on a time crunch.  it’s a lot different from what i usually write, but i don’t know if i made that transition to a different story style and topic as smoothly as i would have liked.

8. share or describe a favorite review you received: someone left a very long and gratifying comment on both Puzzle Pieces and its sequel Bedroom Activities back in February.  grey114 if you see this i love you.  it was really gratifying to get a comment on a piece that i love so much that was over a year old at that point, especially since they said it was a reread and they just touched on a lot of things in a really sweet way and that made me feel very happy to have written those fics.

also i know this doesn’t technically count because it got it today but amanda read when i watch the world burn (again, not my proudest work) and said that although this “isn’t her kind of fic” she said that that particular fic is the “biggest proof that it’s the writer more than the content or pairing” because she enjoyed it, which was really nice to hear especially when i’m not feeling the best about it.  it’s also just an insane compliment because i absolutely love amanda’s writing, and every time a writer i love also confirms that they really like my stuff it makes me feel good lol

9. a time when writing was really, really hard: the entire first 3/4 of the year, tbh!  i was in a big writing slump earlier in the year and it seemed to keep going forever, then I was super busy in the summer and simply didn’t have time.  i don’t think i hit my writing stride again until i let myself impulse-write for other fandoms.  i think that’s what i really started to realize exactly what it means to write what you love uninhibited, rather than writing what you think you should.  like. i have 10k of an angsty caswen at college fic in my drive that may never see the light of day because it’d be super long, but letting myself go to town on that with no expectations of necessarily posting it or even completing it was really healthy for me and extremely enjoyable, and it loosened all the writing mechanisms in my brain to get me back in a writing groove.

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: hmmmmm let’s see.  honestly i was most surprised to write anything for hsmtmts or cobra kai, let alone something from johnny’s pov, but for 5sos stuff i was surprised to write so much feldy.  he became a pretty big player in pas de deux and when initially planning that fic i don’t think i realized how much screen time he would have.  ashton’s characterization in when i watch the world burn was also surprising.  i didn’t know when i started writing that he would be like that.

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing:  here’s a little bit of the ending of undeniable you

When Ashton fully wakes up, he can hear spring rain pattering against the roof.  The room is still blanketed in gray, but Michael is still glowing, even if Ashton only has a view of his bedhead from the way they’re cuddled together.  He shifts right before Ashton musters up the willpower to leave the comforting warmth of their bedroom and begin breakfast, as if he can sense that Ashton would rather spend the morning talking with him in appropriately hushed tones than leaving the cozy atmosphere that surrounds them.  His eyes are fuzzy and sleepy when he blinks up at him, but he smiles like he’s never been more sure of his place here.

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? i finally truly understood what it means to write for myself!!!! to write for the enjoyment of writing!!!! to stop holding myself to arbitrary standards of what fics i should be working on and how often!!!!!! this year i really let myself work on what i want when i want, and it really did wonders for me.  also, i discovered that for the most part outlining does genuinely help me

13. how do you hope to grow next year? mostly i want to continue to write what i want to write.  i want to maintain this peace and enjoyment of writing that i’ve found and continue to treat myself with kindness when it comes to this hobby and not let it become unpleasant.  that being said, i do also want to focus on individual projects more.  i think the key to ensuring these two things aren’t mutually exclusive is to find projects that i genuinely love and to add little bits in there for me to enjoy, like all of the minnesota references (and the csi miami reference) in pas de deux.

EDIT: I also want to start replying to comments this year! i might not reply to new comments on old fics just because i’d feel weird not replying to the comments before (and i have fics form 2016, so i feel like it’d be weird if i went back and replied to those) but i’ll at least reply to comments put on pas de deux onwards.

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)? okay i’m going to list four (4!!!) different people.  bella @clumsyclifford and annie @carouselstars have both been extremely supportive, especially while i’ve been complaining in the club nearly every day for the past two months.  they’re always encouraging me.  i also need to give a big shout out to megs @igarbagecannoteven and gregory @doomeddiabetic for being great sounding boards! pas de deux would not have been completed without megs helping me sort things out in the very beginning, and gregory is willing to talk shop about fandoms they’re not even part of.

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? little things here and there!  it’s most prevalent in pas de deux, where i highkey projected onto both characters and forced them to exist in minneapolis.  i have been to mia and love all of the art pieces i mentioned in chapter 3. my favorite ballet is dances at a gathering.  i, like calum, must always remind people of famous minnesotans.  shayla is my favorite newscaster.  i watch csi miami and ncis when i need something mindless on in the background.  i namedropped my old tech director and ballet teacher in that one.  pas de deux is full of little hazel pieces lol

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? find what pleases you!  find what you enjoy, and don’t turn writing into a chore that you have to do, but rather a special treat to enjoy!  this doesn’t mean that it’s going to be sunshine and rainbows all the time, of course.  maybe you’re the type of writer who gets immense satisfaction from finishing a difficult piece, and that far outweighs the frustration and struggles to write it!  everyone is going to be different with figuring out what constitutes enjoyment, but that’s what helped me, at least.

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? i’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself but i really hope to finish three particular 5sos fics.  i think they could become my new favorites.  i also have a cobra kai fic that i’d love to write!  also, i really want to post at least one chapter of unmute, given that i didn’t do that this year

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:  @igarbagecannoteven, @carouselstars, @lifewasradical, @jbhmalumm, @lukemichaelcalumashton, @babush-cat if you’d like!

[werewolfashton]

2022 writing evaluation

darling @igarbagecannotevenoteven tagged me to do this, honestly unbelievable, thank you megs <3 your answers were so interesting btw!!

i’ll also include all my works in this bc i haven’t written much in 5sos this year lmao. the other stuff can mainly be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/villainous_intentions

number of stories posted on ao3: 4 for 5sos, 20-30 in other fandoms, mainly stranger things (this is such a vague number bc i’m including drabbles)

word count posted for this year: ~53.332

fandoms i wrote for: 5sos, stranger things, the iliad/tsoa, [redacted]

pairings: lashton (2), malum (1), ot4 (1), harringrove (like 20+ and some platonic pairings), patrochilles (1), [redacted]

story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: for 5sos it’s but underneath we had a fear of flying in all regards

for other fandoms in kudos and bookmarks it’s don’t that man look pretty and in terms of comments: i was far too scared to hit him, but i would hit him in a heartbeat now and into the deep

work i’m most proud of and why: i’m really proud to have written 4k in one sitting for a wild and an untamed thing, and really all i wrote for the harringrove harvest probably

work i’m least proud of and why: ngl i really don’t like any of my 5sos fics very much except maybe the 2 song fics and some horror aspects so

share or describe a favorite review you’ve received: i got and still get so much love for one of my drabbles for st, those always make me smile and then recently i got the funniest review of my life tbh but that stays between me and the unfortunate souls that have my insta

a time when writing was really, really hard: the only time writing was not hard was during the writing challenges in june and october. or well it was still hard but i was putting out words like an insane person anyway. blessed days.

a scene or character you wrote who surprised you: still surprised to be writing in the first place. certainly wrote a lot of stuff towards the end of the year that i did not expect. wrote about a shitload of trauma. OH i wrote crack. did not expect to be able to do that. 

a favorite excerpt of your writing: i mostly like some of the one liners in my fics and this is one of them from into the deep end: "Fear spreads through [Steve] and he rushes forward, half expecting a monster in the middle of the bed, but when he moves behind the others to look into the room he stops as well. It’s not a monster, not really. At least he doesn’t think so. 

It’s just a mullet wearing asshole that’s supposed to be dead."

and i wrote this baby of drabble that’s one of my fav pieces of writing idk i struggled with this point of the review

how did you grow as a writer this year? i have become more open to just writing what i want. especially recently i’ve stopped really caring? like i still look at numbers too much but at least i write what i like now. i’ve also started writing longer works (at least sort of)

how do you hope to grow next year? i wish i had more time to write which isn’t really something i can force so i think i’m just hoping to not care about statistics as much. as to writing itself i wanna just expand my vocabulary.

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)? alright so, idk. i often feel very uncomfy speaking to people about my fic bc i think i annoy them and they only put up with it. i certainly have some lovely people who have been supportive (like em) and have been kind enough to beta for me (e.g. helen) and especially noah has been helping me with ideas. but yeah overall idk i shy away from talking about my fic bc it just ends up making me feel bad. thus i think the only overall actually very positive influence was the stranger things fandom, lovely feedback, actual engagement with fics, all that stuff has been helpful.

anything from real life show up in your writing this year? haha. y’all don’t need to know how much i projected this year thanks!

any new wisdom you can share with other writers? stop! fucking! looking! at! the! stats!

any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? @pixiegrl birthday fic. like 30 harringrove drafts. much [redacted]. we shall see though i’m trying not to stress myself

tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: aight idk what’s going on here anymore so i’ll leave this as it is

[daydadahlias]

3, 10, 14, 21, 30, & 36 for the writing ask game? -megs 💙

Hi Megs!! This is a chunk of questions, thank you sm for asking!!💙 from ask game <3

3. How would you describe your writing style?

I've always said it's stream of consciousness. That's always how I've HAD my writing described to me, anyway. And I think that's characterized by pretty blatant internal monologue (so, for instance, every story of mine, I think, sounds a little different because every person I'm writing thinks in a different way. Like, think about the Luke in Bittersweet versus the Luke in Fine Print. They’re both pretty angsty and on the “poetic” style but their,, forms of poetry are a little different if that makes sense, even if they’re both inherently mine). My writing is usually characterized by some truly abhorrent run-on sentences and fragments as well so it's just, like, how a character Thinks rather than what would be grammatically correct. ~Literary license~

10. Top three favourite fic tropes.

OH!! EASY. Hurt/comfort. Protective ______ (if I see a fic with the word protective in the tags I'm scrambling to read it. You have no idea how much loyalty means to me and I just LOVE characters who want to make their loved ones feel safe). And,,, I don't know if this is a trope per-say but,, Showers. If I see the tag "shower" i am SPRINTING into that fic. Rebirth symbolism makes me cRAzY.

14. Write and share the first sentence of a new fic. Just that.

Ashton isn’t usually into blondes but this guy’s eyes are a real heartbreaker shade of baby blue and his nails are painted silver.

21. Can you accurately predict how long your fics are going to be? If you can, what’s your secret?

lmfao not even a little bit. like literally not at all. I’m always under. Without fail, if I say a fic will be 10k, it’ll be about 5-10k over that. I don’t think there’s a single fic ever that I’ve estimated correctly. I thought my 127k fic Scene 14 was gonna be 20k. I’m just an idiot.

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn’t.

Back in ye olden day (2020) I was originally going to do a type of,, fic exchange with someone where they wrote a lashton fic for me and I was going to write a malum fic for them. And it was just a stupid little teen rated one-shot where Michael kept pretending to drown in the swimming pool so lifeguard Calum would come save him. And I wrote about 1k in it but then me and this person stopped talking so it just never came to fruition. I always thought it was a cute idea though!!

36. How do you come up with fic titles? What’s the one you’re most proud of?

I have a very strict rule when it comes to titling that I am very anal about. A fic title has to be one or two words. Preferably two. One is sometimes acceptable though. A series title has to be three words. Preferably three word lyrics from a 5sos song (ie. “Ask For More” from Midnight and “Fade Into Dark” from Airplanes, both of which I think Molly helped me pick actually so shoutout to her). If I can squeeze some type of double meaning into a fic title then wooo !! Points for me!! But I really just try to use the,, word or words that are most used in the fic. I think my favorite title I have is... I don’t know, I really like a couple actually!! I like my titles because they’re pretty easy to remember! Quick and snappy, y’know?? I really like “Over Break” and “Fine Print.” And I think “Coy Fish” is fun bc koi fish are a reoccurring theme in the fic and I switched the spelling around to “coy” bc Cal is a notorious flirt in the fic and is trying to be,, y’know coy about asking Ash out. I thought it was cute. 

[igarbagecannoteven]

Helllllo you seem like someone who reads a lot of fanfictions so i wanted to ask if you can recommend some cake fanfictions? Rather longer ones than oneshots that you currently like? That’d be awesome 🤲🏻 no worries if not!

ok i typed up an extremely detailed answer to this ask only to accidentally delete it but! hopefully i can remember everything i said (if not i shall commit major crimes) anyways if i’m missing something it’s definitely because of that and not bc i spaced it,,,, okay take 2 answering this ask

hi anon!!! i am so incredibly honored that you appreciate my taste in fic enough to ask me for recs i am all !!! i do need to issue 2 disclaimers b4 i begin: 1) i only started reading 5sos fic this fall so there are def other people who have better knowledge than me and 2) i don’t read explicit fics which limits the amount of fic i read/the ones i can rec. however! i am pretty sure i’m one of the only people who searches for 5sos fic by wordcount instead of pairing so if you’re looking for long(er)fic you’ve come to the right place :)) cake is a rather popular fic at the moment so there’s tons of good fic out there beyond what i’m going to rec here! i’m just going to list a few of my favs and if anyone knows of any good fics i left off feel free to add them! (i’m only going to be recc’ing completed fic as a matter of principle but if other people want to go crazy!) also, since i don’t know what you consider “longer fic” i’m going to put the word counts by each fic so you know what you’re getting into lol (i did make sure none of these recs are under 10k tho) okay with all that being said i guess i’ll dive right in!

if you’re a fan of cake fic you almost definitely know of the incredibly talented unofficial queen of cake @kaleidoscopeminds but just in case you should 100% check out her ao3! she has several longer fics, but my personal favorites are flatmate au (20k), journalist calum/musician luke au (16.8k), and her roadtrip fic (36.6k). they’re all incredibly written and clever and funny (with just the right amount of angst) so if you haven’t checked them out i highly recommend it! 

if when you said longfic you *really* meant longfic, then you have to check out vegas au (88.4k) by @emmybazy from all the way back in 2014! it has some absolutely stunning worldbuilding and has a very unique way of framing the plot that i’ve never seen in fic before which made it a very refreshing read for me! if you’re looking to get lost in a fic this is the one for you 😊

moving along to another member of cake royalty, @staticsounds is a brilliant fic writer with loads of cake fics! (you should definitely check out her ao3 if you’re a cake person) my personal favorites of her longer cake fics are her la au (40.4k) and the cake version of bake off au (17.9k)! they’re both total showstoppers (get it? bc bake off? yes i do think i’m hilarious thank u) while also having very different moods? if that makes sense? like they both fit different vibes i look for at different times which is wonderful!!

and of course i can’t talk about molly and not bring up one of my favorite fic projects of all time, which was her collab with the spectacular @cringeycal for their college dance au (15k) & college pet au (14.7k) (that is a horrible way to describe it and i apologize but it’s also 6 am and i haven’t slept yet so cut me some slack) these are both genius and hilarious and i could go on about them for actual hours so if you haven’t read them yet go crazy go stupid and if you don’t love them i’ll eat scorpions on live television :))

how could i talk about cake fics without bringing up beloved hanukkah fic (13.6k) by the light of my life @clumsyclifford?? this fic is not only just a lovely piece of prose all around it just has so much love and warmth and fluff it’s practically overflowing and i personally think it should be required reading bc it’s so !!! bella hasn’t written any other cake over 10k but i have yet to read a fic of hers i haven’t loved so if you’re looking for some shorter cake (or longer of another pairing) you should def check out her ao3 😊

if you’re looking for some angsty fic, i highly recommend @lifewasradical ‘s fic where calum leaves the band (10.1k) it is absolutely heartwrenching in the best way!! she also has an adorable bakery au (11k) that is extremely fluffy and cute!! 

there’s also her collab with @pixiegrl for their wrong number au (16.1k) if you’re looking for some disaster college kids making a mess of falling in love! 

ok this post is getting very long and the sun has just risen (insert yikes emoji) so i’ll wrap it off with @michaelsarmbandtattoo ‘s trans luke au (12.8k) which balances fluff and angst extremely well imo and is a great read! 

ok it is now past 6:30 am and i have an appointment at 10 and have yet to sleep so! that’s all for now! i am almost certainly forgetting some excellent fic but my brain is fried from last week of the semester vibes so someone else can fill in the blanks. this is probably way more rambly than you were looking for but it wouldn’t be a megs’ production if it wasn’t :)) thanks for asking for recs i’d love to do this again sometime for another pairing! (not this week tho lol) 💙

[honeybunchcalum]

𝒲𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒩𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉- 𝒥𝑜𝒽𝓃 𝐵  (part of ptersparkers writing challenge)

I’m a 5sos girl at heart, and this song really fit this fic, so I had to 

Summary: John B promises to help Winnie learn to let loose, the process of which involves skinny dipping, a bucket list, and some really good advice (and inevitable flirting, of course). 

Pairing: John B x OC

Warnings: language for sure, and some nudity 

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: HUGE thank you and credit to @alexandracheers for editing this fic and giving me feedback! She also has a fic for @ptersparkers writing challenge that you should check out!

The main character is based a lot on myself, so for all you borderline uptight and academic overachiever readers, this one’s for you to relate to! 

I also aged the pogues up a few years, so all the characters are 18/19.

GIF credit: @sharmans​

“What would you do if you weren’t afraid of everything?” 

The sun grazed over facial features as it set, blurring some and sharpening others. Yet another day of summer gone, but the opportunity for a hot summer night followed the horizon. 

“God, I don’t fucking know, everything and anything! Also, I don’t appreciate that generalization, I’m not afraid of everything,” she trailed off.

“I know you know,” John B said while flopping down onto the towel that he had just finished smoothing out on the sand. “There’s never been a time when Winnie doesn’t have the answer to something… especially when it’s about herself,” he mumbled the modifying words as to make sure she didn’t hear, but she did. 

A few seconds later there was a handful of sand sprinkled throughout his curls as she laughed.

Winnie was a “conscientious and goal-driven girl” as every professor of hers had described her. As she’d come to realize, those words are just the nice way of saying “uptight over-achiever.” 

She wished she could be something outside of that. Outside of a ‘certificate of achievement,’ or a picture perfect transcript. Do something for once and make a decision or mistake for herself. That’s what she had come down here this summer to do after all, right?

“Fine, then I shall rephrase.” John B shook the revenge-filled sand out of his hair and asked, “What are you afraid of?”

Knowing that would be an easy question for his borderline-uptight friend to answer, he quickly added a condition, “and not the standard ‘failing a paper, looking bad, or not being at the top of whatever-the-fuck class you’re in’ fear.”

“Well, you’ve basically got all my bases covered with those,” she replied. John B raised an eyebrow at the mention of covering her bases. 

“You’re so annoying,” slipped out of her mouth accompanied by the obligatory eye-roll. She laid down on her own towel not too far from John B (certainly more gracefully than he had) and looked up at the purpling sky. 

The beach was beginning to empty as all the vacationers returned to their rental homes. It was her and John B’s favorite part of the day. They basically had the whole beach to themselves aside from the late-night skinny dippers, but they weren’t due for another few hours. 

It was peacefully silent for what felt like hours, just the two of them side by side on the towels that John B always kept in the van for spontaneous beach trips like this. 

Winnie started to drift into her daydreams of her future--walking down crowded city streets to the subway in a fashionably professional outfit on her way to the courtroom for her breakthrough case. Then she flipped to her daydream of writing in a cozy coffee shop. Writing about anything and everything--even the hazel-eyed boy beside her and how he just lived, nothing more or less (and sometimes without thinking). But that was just John B, and she felt the need to document it beautifully somehow, and make sure she’d remember him just as he is. She knew she couldn’t get it more right than he was then, right next to her, just as he had been all summer. 

“So, what’s your answer?”

“What?” Winnie had already forgotten his question, and was definitely startled. 

“To my question... I saw ya thinking there,” John B chuckled and looked up at the sky as well, “unless you were off in your lawyer daydreams again.”

“Well maybe I was, but I also have an answer for you. I can think about multiple things at once, y’know?”

“I know a little bit too well, Winnie. You’re always lost in your thoughts about something,” he replied while playfully touching her arm. 

She started to feel a weight on her chest and in her throat, first off because John B was now staring directly at her, and more prominently because she knew her answer all too well, but didn’t want to say it. What if John B didn’t understand, or if it sounded dumb?

“John Booker Routledge,” she spoke strongly, “I am afraid of being ordinary, being stuck and not having the opportunities to do enough fun shit while I’m young, and also worrying too much about all of these things at the same time.” 

By the end of her proclamation, Winnie was in tears. 

“It sounds...s-so stupid,” she was laughing through some sobs now, “like I’m the one in control of my own life, a-and I can’t get it right. I want to be young and do fun shit, but I-I-just can’t because I feel like-like I know better than to knowingly do something stupid.” Talking through things, even while she was choking out sobs, had always made everything she was feeling make sense. 

“Look, you hang out with young and dumb every day,” John B laughingly pointed at himself, “and while I am a bit offended by your ‘ordinary’ fear-”

Winnie cut him off with a sob-filled, “I’m so sorry, John B, I didn’t-”

“I’m kidding, Winnie. I’m getting to my point here…” he reached out and held her shoulders. 

“...which is that you don’t know how to let go. And you’re already not ordinary, at least to me. And I can tell ya that JJ, Kie and Pope will tell you the same. I wouldn’t have been hanging out with you every night if you were.”

John B punched her arm to try to clear the seriousness in the air. “C’mon, you don’t really think I’d hang out with someone ordinary and boring, right?”

“Right,” Winnie replied.

“What was that, can you say it again?”

Dripping in sarcasm, Winnie repeated herself, “John B, you’re right.”

“Thank you.”

He turned away from her for a second and glanced at the purple sky that draped over the ocean, seeming to string words together in his mind. 

After a few seconds he started, “Coming from me, I feel like you can’t plan everything out. Some shit just happens--shit that you can’t make happen, Winnie, no matter how much of a control freak you are.” 

John B was right, she was a bit of a control freak; she’d admit it. 

“Like, do you think I was trying to make JJ stealing 25k from a drug dealer happen?” 

Now he could chuckle at the memory, and Winnie at the secondhand telling of the story since it seemed so outrageous. 

“Everything can’t be picture perfect, Winnie, a lot of things are messy” he was nervously fidgeting, which was very unlike him; John B was always so sure of himself. 

“And unexpected, like this--” he raised his hand and flung a clump of sand at Winnie.

She instinctively scoffed, but then laughed. At least it derailed the overly-serious energy that John B created. 

“You know, I was really starting to take you seriously, John B.”

“Ouch, Winnie,” he cracked a smile, “Well I’m glad you tried because it was part of my life-changing advice.”

“Which is…?” 

“You have to do what you feel is best for you right now. I’ve always told you, you need to be who you are now.”

“And throwing sand at me felt right to you in that moment?”

“Yes. But you have to admit that it’s good advice. My dad would always tell me, and it just stuck with me. So now, I relay it to you.”

Winnie let the words mellow around her mind for a few seconds. It was really great advice, especially for someone like her. She let her eyes scan the beach around her. She had an amazing landscape that was totally memory-worthy right in front of her. And more importantly, she had the time. The time to be here, in the moment, with her best friend. 

Although she had only been on the island for a few weeks, Winnie knew there was something special about John B. They were complete opposites in a way--an uptight law student from the city, and an easygoing surfer from the island. But they complemented each other: while she may have read more, he had seen more. And that’s what made them such a good pair.

They could both figure anything out, whether it was Winnie perfecting John B’s college essays and finance records for after his gap year, or the trademark stories of John B escaping trouble on the island. 

“Another philosophy I live by is that you should try everything once,” John B started. 

“Yeah, I’ve heard that from JJ too,” she smiled, remembering the times in the van that JJ spilled his life philosophies while slightly under the influence. 

“Also, at the next kegger, you are definitely hanging with me, I’ll teach you how to have some fun,” John B added, as Winnie agreed, looking forward to it.

-------

After a few seconds, Winnie asked, “So it’s about 8:25, what are we doing right now? And what have you not tried?”  

“I see you took my advice to heart. There’s not too much honestly,” he nervously laughed, reminiscing about his countless long nights. “Your wish is my command on this lovely Thursday night. Whatever is on your, what I assume, color-coded bucket list,” he teasingly continued.

Winnie playfully scoffed. “Actually, it’s just highlighted, Mr. Routledge. Anyway.... I choose skinny dipping.” She spoke with a glow in her eyes and no hesitation, maybe she had planned out this moment for a while, waiting for this exact opportunity. But that’s one thing she wouldn’t admit.

John B’s jaw practically dropped to the ground. His eyes widened; she’d managed to pick the one thing he didn’t have experience with, which is impressive. 

The two had always poked fun at the nightly ocean skinny dippers; he never thought Winnie had the desire to partake in it. 

He ran his hand through his curls in an attempt to conceal his jitters. He would do anything for Winnie, and this is what she wanted. He couldn’t lie to himself--he would only consider something like this with her. As much as she trusted him, John B trusted Winnie. 

“No prob, sure, let’s do it,” the brunette slightly rambled. 

Winnie undoubtedly picked up on his fault of confidence. “Are you sure? We definitely don’t have to… I mean driving with the windows down is also pretty high up on my list.”

“Yeah,” he flashed a reassuring smile. One full of serenity and comfort. He pulled his t-shirt off as Winnie did the same, along with her shorts. The two awkwardly looked at each other, as if searching for each other’s cue to continue. Winnie gave John B an up-and-down glance, to which he knowingly turned around with an, “oh, yeah,” so she could further undress. 

It was dark enough on the shore now for the teens to be unrecognizable, but Winnie ensured that the towels they were currently wrapped in would be waiting for them right in front of the tide lines, in case the need for a quick escape dawned. 

There was an unspoken promise between them that lustful stares would not be exchanged, but quick glimpses would be inevitable. With that, towels were dropped, and John B started the countdown to rush into the water. Before “one,” Winnie already took off running towards the calm waves. 

By the time she was up to her knees, she was yelling, “Holy shit! That’s cold! Oh my God!” 

Seconds later John B was yelling the same before they both had dipped underwater to get used to the temperature. They came up from underwater with their faces almost inches apart. Their eyes locked for a moment. Nervous laughter followed as Winnie moved backwards, not remembering to keep her arm over her chest. 

“Shit, uh, sorry,” John B looked away from Winnie.

“It’s okay,” she giggled, “I don’t really care. I also don’t think there’s really a way to prevent that.”

Within a second, John B had started a splash war, and the rare serious energy dissipated. 

Ten minutes in the cold night ocean was more than enough. Luckily, no late-night walkers stumbled upon their antics. Now they sat on the sand peacefully wrapped in their towels. Winnie cuddled into John B’s chest. It felt as though time had stopped in her mind, yet the ocean continued, as did the waves and the heartbeat of her best friend both pounding in her ears. John B was warm, sweet, and wise. Especially now, with his curls a perfectly-laid sopping mess and his chest so comforting, the warmth took over. Winnie sought to ingrain this feeling into her mind. 

John B admired Winnie as the towel adorned her chest and the dull glow of the night slightly illuminated her face. He couldn’t deny it--she was very pretty. 

He pulled himself out of his thoughts and looked down towards the girl on his chest. “I knew you could let go, and not give a fuck, you don’t need me, Winnie.”

“No you did not know that,” she protested, “you’d told me I didn’t know how to let go like, 10 minutes ago.”

“Ok, yeah I did say that. But… would an uptight Winnie suggest skinny dipping, get me to do it with her, and also play it cool when I accidentally saw her boob?” 

Winnie thought about it: John B was right. In the moment, without overthinking, she did know how to let go and do whatever felt right to her at the time. 

“No…” she responded. 

“So you’re not uptight! I proved it to you, and I didn’t even have to argue with you about it-- HA!” John B retorted, pulling away from Winnie so he could now look her directly in the eye. 

“I guess, yeah. But you did go in the ocean with me, naked, for me to get to this realization.”

“Were you just trying to get me naked?” John B jokingly gasped. 

Doubled down in laughter, Winnie managed to respond, “No, definitely not, but you did it willingly, which was a win.”

“Well, I can say I did it.” John B seemed content, and he truly meant it. You should try everything once, right?  

“I’ve got the van radio and windows rolled down and ready for us, if you so desire.” 

“Why of course, Mr. Routledge, my prince charming, please fire up our carriage.” Winnie smiled, which was a repeated pattern throughout the whole night. The tears from earlier were forgotten, with aches from smiling too much replacing them.

They practically jumped into John B’s van, scantily clad, with Winnie’s hand already on the radio knob. She turned it to a station playing a summer song that would eventually become overplayed within the next few months, but that was ok. Maybe better, even, since each inevitable time this song was on, it would remind her of tonight.

Tonight. He’d truly seen her as a person, physically and emotionally now, with ease. He saw her as someone more than just an uptight student, and she realized that maybe she wasn’t always uptight, after all. He was willing to put aside his apprehensions and trust her, just as she’d come to trust him.

With the windows rolled down, and the radio almost unbearably loud, Winnie felt bliss. True and uninhibited, like this is what she was meant to be doing with John B, at this moment in time. 

Winnie’s eyes couldn’t resist scanning John B’s frame next to her. The way his calloused hands gripped the steering wheel, the flex of his arms, his wet caramel hair regaining its curl, and most notably, the smooth and tanned skin of his chest. He was damn gorgeous. And now gazing over at her. 

“Shit, he noticed me staring,” she thought. But he didn’t seem fazed or embarrassed by her gaze at all. He flicked her the trademark John B smile. “Like what ya see?” He gave an eyebrow raise.

“Oh, shut up,” she spit back and turned the radio up even further, starting to scream the lyrics to the catchy song. She felt the wind blow in her hair as the roads she drove down each day gained a newfound beauty.

-------

“I’m beat,” Winnie exasperatedly stated once John B pulled the van up to the Chateau. 

“Yeah me too, that’s enough ‘young and dumb’ for tonight. You don’t mind sharing the pull-out with Kie, right? I kinda forgot she was staying over tonight...” 

“Yeah, no prob,” Winnie responded. She really didn’t mind sharing with Kie, but secretly wished John B would invite her to his bed for the night.

She opened the screen door of the house, and after she got ready for bed, practically flopped on the pull-out couch. 

Kie groggily groaned, “Ugh, Winnie don’t do that, I’m tryna sleep. Why are you back so late anyway?” 

“Sorry, beach night with JB,” Winnie whispered, only to realize that the girl beside her was already asleep again. Winnie was practically shaking from her excitement as she looked back on her night, especially after John B threw a “g’night Winnie” her way.

------

Winnie knew she had slept too late when she’d woken up without Kie next to her, probably already at the Wreck for the breakfast shift. She stood up and made her way to the bathroom, peeking around to make sure that only John B was in the house and Pope or JJ hadn’t made a surprise visit. 

She’d wanted to make a move last night. Especially when he’d caught her staring. She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror to psych herself up: it was now or never.

She rounded the corner to John B’s room and knocked on the doorframe, since he always left the door open. John B sat up and gave a raspy, “hey, Winnie.”

She cut to the chase, as she sat down next to him on his bed. “I think I overthought something I shouldn’t have last night.”

“Yeah, yeah, shoot, what is-”

Winnie cut him off with a kiss that was well-received. His lips molded to hers as his hand moved to her cheek and then to her hair. He pulled away. 

“Funny enough, that’s something that’s actually been on my bucket list, too.” 

“Well, I’m happy we’re efficient in crossing things off our list,” Winnie smiled into another kiss, now being the one to pull away. 

She was on her way to living the life she wanted.  

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tagging some of my mutuals: @noshamenion​ @darkrosekuwonu​ @cccatz​ @poguelifesurfshop​ @maybankiara​ @tothemoonmikey​ @singledadharrington​ @kindapinkskies​ @outerbanqs​

[talkfastcal]

you can tell a lot about someone by the type of music they listen to 🎵🎶

rules: hit shuffle on your media player and write down the first 20 songs, then tag 10 people. no skipping!

Thank you for tagging me! @i-like-5sos

1. Long Way Home - 5SOS: Oh! I haven’t heard this song in awhile. This is one of my favorites from self titled (although I will always prefer the acoustic version) I still remember when they changed the lyrics to “white snake on the radio” during my ROWYSO show. My favorite lyric is “so we’re taking the long way home cause I don’t wanna be wasting my time alone”

2. Bloody Mary - Lady Gaga: I remember the first time I heard this being 11 years old and shocked LMAO if I’m being real honest I love the beat (AND THE BASS) of this song. ALSO the chorus “I WONT CRY FOR YOU” is so GOOD

3. Not Warriors - Waterparks: y’all are in for a TREAT THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE WATERPARKS SONGS. I cannot just listen to this song just once. It’s always at least 3 times and it’s ALWAYS blasting (and yes I did replay it 3 times and blast it through my headphones while typing this) When the beat drops and “THERES NOTHING IN MY SYSTEM SO IM FEELING WHAT I FEEL FOR YOU” so POWERFUL!!!! My favorite lyric is “but hey for what it’s worth I think you saved my life”

4. Best Song Ever - One Direction: I still refuse to believe this song is about sex LMAO this is such a fun song to dance to though I love it. My favorite part is Niall’s solo “I said can I take you home with me, she said never in your wildest dreams”

5. Strong - One Direction: OH! FUCK! MY FAVORITE ONE DIRECTION SONG DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH THE CHORUS “IM SORRY IF I SAY I NEED YOU” I CANT I CANT. If you have not heard them acapella sing this do me a favor and go listen ITS SO GOOD ALSO! Zayn’s high note. My favorite lyric is ofc Louis’ solo “think of how much love that’s been wasted people always trying to escape it move on to stop their heart breaking but there’s nothing I’m running from, you make me strong”

6. Kids In The Dark - All Time Low: YES I LOVE THIS SONG I LOVE THIS ALBUM I LOVE THE MEANING OF THE SONG I’m not joking when I say that I found this song and this band during the hardest time in my life and this song just really hit me hard. My favorite lyric is “beautiful scars on critical veins” AND the firework pop towards the end!!!!

7. Olivia - One Direction: I will admit this song has grown on me big time post hiatus (also the fact that now I’m not hiding my sexuality from myself I can freely listen to this song without feeling ashamed) I! Love! This! Song! It’s such a cute love song!! My favorite lyric is “the summertime butterflies all belong to your creation”

8. I Love You 5 - Never Shout Never: another band I was obsessed with back in 2015 I haven’t listened to this song in awhile!! I remember loving this song though and using it everywhere. I also like in the beginning he says “I love you one a two a three shoobe-doo I love you four that’s more than I can afford”

9. Only Angel - Harry Styles: idk not much to say about this Harry song it’s not in my top 5 but it’s a good song! I like listening to it but it’s just not my favorite. My favorite lyric is “open up your eyes shut your mouth and see that I’m still the only one who’s been in love with me”

10. Viva La Vida - Coldplay: no one: - me: AHHHHHHHHH literally this song will never be the same ever since 1d performed it on xfactor. Idk what to say about this song other than the fact that I like it??? I also like 1D’s cover of it??? Yea cool. My favorite lyric is “Never an honest word but that was when I ruled the world”

11. Glitter & Crimson - All Time Low: this song has definitely grown on me since the release of wake up sunshine. ALSO THE BRIDGE! My favorite lyric is “lets start lets start a riot hard to sit still when your head’s on fire”

12. (Love Will) Turn Back The Hands Of Time - Grease 2: don’t clown me y’all but this movie and soundtrack are a guilty pleasure. I love the original grease BUT grease 2!! It’s such a stupid movie but the soundtrack is fantastic. Anyways this song is another guilty pleasure LMAO I love the whole song so I’m not picking a “favorite lyric”

13. Savior - Rise Against: OH!!!! OH!!! THIS SONG RIGHT HERE!!!! fun fact: the first time I actually heard this song was when I watched a video of someone on YouTube burning her littlest pet shops because a trade went wrong and she got scammed so she took her anger out on that. I literally forgot about this song until one day I heard it in my junior year literature class and had major deja vu. Okay anyways I love this song LMAO my favorite part is the chorus “that’s when she said I don’t hate you boy I just want to save you while there’s still something left to save. That’s when I told her I love you girl but I’m not the answer for the questions that you still have WOAH OH OH WOAH OH OHHH”

14. National Anthem - DE’WAYNE: okay THIS SONG it’s so good and it describes what it’s like growing up in America as a POC. I don’t wanna say too much about it since I’m not a POC so I know I will never fully understand the song because of my privilege but I appreciate the fuck out of this. I love the entire song I don’t have a favorite lyric

15. Your Love - Nicki Minaj: I miss this Nicki Minaj. UM not much to say about this song either??? It’s a good song and I like it?! My favorite part is the chorus OH and the outro I love it

16. Just Dance - Lady Gaga: another pop classic from my childhood alright I MEAN ITS JUST DANCE?! HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS SONG??? ALSO THIS LADY GAGA?! Don’t get me wrong I love the lady Gaga we have now BUT THIS ONE WILL ALWAYS BE ASSOCIATED WITH MY CHILDHOOD AND PRETEEN YEARS. I remember feeling like a badass singing this song when I was 10 years old LMAO I don’t have a favorite lyric I love the whole thing it’s a bop

17. Dear Patience - Niall Horan: Oh!! One of my favorites from Heartbreak Weather. His voice in this song is just so beautiful ugh yes. I absolutely love the chorus of this. My favorite lyric is “feels like you don’t even know me just me and the stars can get lonely”

18. San Francisco - 5sos: OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG ITS IN MY TOP 3 FROM SOUNDS GOOD FEELS GOOD. I hardly see anyone appreciate this song so I’m here to tell y’all: ITS A GOOD SONG?!?! have y’all listened to the live version AS WELL!!!! masterpiece. This song makes me happy especially the guitar at the beginning. My favorite lyric is “reminds me of when we were free I swear that it’s still haunting me” BUT! I do love that pre-chorus

19. They All Float - Waterparks: NICE a song from their first EP okay but I love this song it’s much heavier compared to what they sing now and that’s what I like about it. My favorite part is THE BRIDGE!!! “this is the part where you cut your losses this is the part where you get a job this is the part where you settle for less just like you never wanted to”

20. We made it finally Adrenaline - Simple Creatures: OH MY GOD THIS SONG LISTEN this is the first song I listened to from this band (which btw if y’all didn’t know is made up of Alex Gaskarth from ATL and Mark Hoppus from Blink-182) I mean while it’s more pop (which is what their intention is) ITS STILL A GOOD BAND!!! ESPECIALLY THIS SONG!! ITS SO GOOD DAMN I love the music video omfg. I’m just a sucker for dance choreography since I grew up surrounded by dance (I did competitive dance for a couple of years and my sister was a competitive dancer until she graduated) okay enough about me this song is so damn good I can’t stop saying that alright! My favorite lyric “I think we’re failin to connect you don’t what you do to me do to me do to me” and I LOVE THE CHORUS

This was fun!!! And it took me forever LMAO I’m not tagging 10 people but I’ll tag some

@louhazzabeingloudandloud @28-oops-hi @devilatmydoor @glitter-cal and anyone else who wants to do this!! 💜

[yellocurtains]

thanks for tagging me @teen-content-queen ❤️❤️❤️

1. What’s a song that always cheers you up?

i’m very inclined to say baby by justing bieber because anyone who knows me knows i’m obsessed with that song buts others that always cheer me up are iSpy - KYLE , Perm - Bruno Mars , Pretty Great - Fickle Friends and Shes Kinda Hot - 5sos

2. What’s something you’re obsessed with?

fashion? idk i feel like that’s my main passion i life tbh

3. Where do you spend most of your free time?

in my bed lol it’s v comfy and i haven’t been doing much work lately 😬😬

4. Which do you prefer - books or movies?

im gonna say movies? cause i can watch them with less effort and i read so slow i like forget the starts of books anyways

5. How often do you check your phone?

my phone tells me my daily average amount of pickups is 63 sooo maybe a lot

6. Would you ever want to be famous?

ig? but like drummer in a band famous if you get what a mean like no one really knows what they look like they’re just rich but won’t get recognised that much i wouldn’t be able to deal with being so famous i couldn’t like go to the shop down the road without being seen that would break me

7. If you had to teach a class, what would the subject be?

maths? ig that’s my best subject and i wouldn’t wanna teach a subject i don’t understand so yeh probs that

8. What’s your favorite holiday?

like in general? cause that’s definitely christmas i lovvveee christmas it’s just so nice plus you get presents 👀👀

9. Describe yourself in 3 words

i had to do this for my year book and i put ‘always drinking water’?

10. What’s a GIF to match your mood today?

[werewolfashton]

2021 Writing Self-Evaluation

hello, so days late but the wonderful @igarbagecannoteven tagged me for the fic year review thingy! so here i am let's see how this goes

number of stories posted on ao3

7

word count posted for this year

15065 .. honestly that's more than i expected but i don't think ao3 is lying?

fandoms i wrote for

5sos mainly.. and some undisclosed other stuff lmao but most things are unfinished anyway

pairings i wrote

oh god. i'm supposed to remember this? eh. ot4. lashton. muke. malum. okay wait let me check. yeah no i was correct that's it. honestly interesting mix if i would've guessed a year ago i certainly would not have expected muke

stories with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments

make me up in a shade that fits me easily for kudos but it has the same amount of bookmarks and comments as i see the stars in the eyes of a vampire,, interesting to me i can't lie i would've expected won't you comfort me to be up there simply bc it seems like the most easily accessible? kinda universal fic idk

work i'm most proud of (and why)

oh well,, okay so i really don't know about proud. i don't particuarly feel very proud of any of the fics. i think what comes closes is tell tale heart though,, which funnily enough is like the worst when it comes to feedback etc. or maybe i see the stars in the eyes of a vampire simply bc i'm proud i managed to write over 8k

work i'm least proud of (and why)

okay so. funnily enough maybe i see the stars in the eyes of a vampire. i finished that in a rush and i think that shows. but also i don't feel particularly proud of in the forest dark and deep i think that could've been done better

share or describe a favourite review you received

okay see i love all of them, any sort of response has me tearing up. i wanna say every review of stay on the path i'm very fond of though bc of the general question in every review/comment being "is it michael"

also.. @igarbagecannoteven has a way with comments everytime i get one it makes me want to cry,, even with my moodboards

a time when writing was really really hard

so after i went through a writing marathon to finish i see the stars in the eyes of a vampire at the end of october i haven't written anything. or like maybe 1000 words over all. so it's been really really hard these last couple of months but i hope to get back into it now with starting a better routine

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you

i mean tbf all of my writing came to me as a surprise,, however i do think tell tale heart probably qualifies best. despite being a short piece i think the mc in that is very nicely done. in general i hadn't expected to ever write horror so it was all very much surprising.

a favourite excerpt of your writing

i really don't like my writing but this i don't hate (spoiler for stay on the path):

"You should've stayed at home, little red one," the stranger says.

Michael smiles.

(The wolf bares his teeth.)

“You should’ve stayed on the path,” Michael says.

The wolf attacks.

(The forest doesn’t take kindly to strangers who disrespect its rules.)

how did you grow as a writer this year

i mean. i started writing so there was that. it came as a surprise to me and it still is one tbh. since starting i have become i tiny bit more comfortable with dialogue as well

how do you hope to grow as a writer next year?

i hope to write more and longer pieces and care less about responses,, since interaction in this fandom? mh.. less than ideal. though i would also love to branch out and write more for other fandoms

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)?

oh helen @calumcest. i have some other incredible influences around me who have been so very supportive and i definitely couldn't have written anything without them. helen did however get me started and supported my first baby steps in writing and she is very much the reason i shared any of my writing with anyone else so it's gotta be her

anything from your real life show up in your writing this year?

lmao yeah the gender issues sorry

any new wisdom you can share with other writers?

okay so i feel very pretentious giving out any advice about writing when i've been doing so for less than a year and also have no idea what i'm doing but my best shot is: write that niche fic. just do it. there is no niche small enough that it only fits you. and even so as long as you enjoy it that's all that matters.

any new projects you're looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year?

i have a couple non sos fics i want to finish specifically a patrochilles fic. there is also a very niche fic for 5sos i started that i'd love to finish just for me

tag some writers whose answers you'd like to read

okay i really do not know who has done this yet but i do feel like most people did it days ago so i'm not gonna tag anyone however if you haven't been tagged and feel like doing this see this as me tagging you

[gamerwoo]

Lucas: Tough

Anonymous asked: I know requests aren’t open, but like when they are I request you write Lucas mates exactly how you want (put me first on the waiting list)

Characters: Lucas x female reader (featuring Renjun, Jeno, and Kun)

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, college au, way too much fluff and crack but it wouldn’t be a Lucas fic without it, only veeeeery slight angst like it’s barely there

Word count: 6,638

Summary: Lucas looks like the stereotypical player. He gets attention from boys and girls alike, and he’s quite the smooth talker. But he’s the biggest softy anybody would ever meet. A stark contract to you, who looks like you’ll murder anybody who just looks at you the wrong way, and you absolutely would which is why you don’t really have any friends. But there’s something about this tall idiot that starts blabbering to you in at least three different languages that makes you hate one less person on campus.

a/n: I may or may not have stolen a couple lines from some old 5sos videos bc uh they fit perfectly w the dynamic for Lucas and his mate lmao (thanks, Star)

Truthfully, yes, Lucas liked the attention. It wasn’t because he liked being openly flirted with, he just liked having people around and trying to make new friends. He was probably too friendly for his own good, as people seemed to mistake his happy and open personality to be him flirting back. That was how he got his title as being a player and a fuckboy. But he wasn’t, he just liked people!

His pack always wondered why he didn’t just date somebody. He had plenty of options since he could get just about anybody he wanted, and he had lots of affection and love to spare. He was always talking about how he wanted somebody of his own to hold and coddle, but he never actually asked anybody out.

But he was waiting for ‘the one’. The person that would change his entire world as soon as he laid eyes on them. That would make his heart race and his eyes only look at them. He was waiting for his mate.

Unfortunately, he had yet to find them.

Renjun and Jeno sat in the library where they watched Lucas from a different table where their pack brother had yet to notice them. Instead, he was surrounded by various girls, one of which, they could tell was was heavily flirting with him from the way she leaned toward him when she giggled and touched his arm constantly. 

“I’ll never understand it...” Jeno said, shaking his head as he scrunched up his face when the girl repeated her same flirting technique again.

“What, that so many girls will throw themselves at him?” Renjun guessed with a scoff. “I don’t get that, either.”

“No, how he can just...put up with it,” Jeno clarified. “Doesn’t dealing with all of that constant flirting and getting hit on get really annoying?”

“It’s Yukhei, he loves attention,” Renjun rolled his eyes.

Which was why they were surprised when Lucas straight up ignored all the attention for somebody who wasn’t giving him the time of day. They watched as Lucas did a double take, watching as some girl walked by the table. She had a sour look on her face as she passed the girls all there for the same reason: to hit on Wong Yukhei. But the two boys burst into loud laughter as Lucas put his large hand over the giggly girl’s face and gently pushed her away as she was speaking to him before he got up and walked around the crowd of women to follow after the other girl.

Of course, the laughter and snorting caused the group of girls to glare over toward Jeno and Renjun, but they didn’t even care. But they also were unsure as to why exactly Lucas had gone after some girl when he was waiting to--

Renjun and Jeno exchanged looks, all laughter dying down.

You were a loner of sorts. Being an exchange student, most people didn’t really talk to you. You didn’t mind it since you’d rather be left alone, anyway. You didn’t really like people, and you preferred being by yourself. Maybe that was why you couldn’t help but make a face as you walked passed a large group of girls that were giggling at what you could only assume was a guy -- and judging from the things you’d heard all over campus, it was this Lucas guy.

You didn’t know who he was, you just knew he had like, 3 different names, and everybody loved him. That fact alone made you not like him at all -- especially if he was really the reason for all of these giggling girls gathering in the library.

A tap on your shoulder brought you from your irritated thoughts, turning and ready to chew out whoever it was that was bothering you. However, once you looked up into the eyes of the tall boy in front of you, your mouth just hung open, the harsh words you were ready to spit at him completely lost on you now.

“Hi!” he grinned warmly like you were old friends. “I’m Lucas.”

‘Oh, fuck no,’ was all you could think.

You had no idea what was happening to you. You’d never just suddenly felt so...so... You didn’t even know how to describe how you felt looking at Lucas. You’d never felt it before, though. Was he really just that beautiful or something?

And were you still standing there gaping up at Lucas like an idiot?

Finally, you collected yourself enough to shake your head and break the weird trance you were in because of the tall boy in front of you. You swiftly turned away from him and walked away without saying anything, leaving Lucas watching you leave with a curious expression and a cocked head, looking like a puppy.

Seeing the whole thing, Renjun and Jeno walked over, Jeno clapping a hand on the older boy’s shoulder.

“That’s _____ _____,” Renjun told him, recognizing you from the dark clothes, the eyebrow piercing, and the fact that he’d bumped into you once and you sneered at him. “She’s kind of...”

He let his voice trail off, not wanting to insult his brother’s mate even though, well, you were kind of a bitch -- at least, that’s what you let everybody think.

“So she’s a little grumpy,” Jeno shrugged, patting his brother’s shoulder while Renjun rolled his eyes at the obvious understatement, “she’ll come around eventually. She has to, right?”

And just then, they turned their heads toward you as you stomped back over to them, shoved a torn piece of paper into Lucas’s chest, and stomped away again as you grumbled to yourself in a language they couldn’t understand. The three boys’ eyes went straight to the paper as Lucas unfolded it to see a phone number scrawled on it.

Lucas’s face broke into a wide grin as he let out a squeal of a laugh.

“A lot sooner than I thought,” Jeno mused.

-

Now that Lucas had met you, finding you was easy. All he had to do was follow the imprinting pull, and there you were! But he also had to learn to control himself, because he tried to go find you at 2am because he wanted to see you, and Kun had to all but tie him to his bed. 

The next few days were all the same. You were suddenly seeing Yukhei everywhere, and he would start talking to you in a variety of languages. Some of them, you couldn’t even understand. He wouldn’t even let you get a word in, either. He would just start spewing word vomit, and then he’d immediately leave with reddened cheeks only to come find you again after the next class. You weren’t sure how he was finding you or what was going on, and you still had no idea why your heart fluttered whenever he came around or why you just wanted to reach out and hold his giant dumb hand.

It took all week for the conversation to not be one-sided, but it was only because something in you snapped and couldn’t take the feelings bubbling up inside you whenever you saw Lucas. He had walked up to you and started babbling in what you could only assume was a Chinese language, but as he turned to leave like he always did, you reached out and grabbed onto his wrist. But instead of something cute or sweet coming out of your mouth, you said...quite the opposite.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?”

Lucas’s eyes went wide as he turned back to face you. This was the first time he’d heard anything come out of your mouth, and despite it being words that weren’t the most polite, it was like hearing the most amazing song for the first time ever. He wanted to hear you speak to him again.

“U-um, I said...” he trailed off, suddenly realizing he actually didn’t even remember what he’d just said, let alone if he was saying it in a language he knew you’d understand. “What did I say...?”

“You’re really weird,” you stated, your hand still wrapped around his wrist without you realizing.

But Lucas loved it. Where your skin made contact, it was like electricity for him. He even moved his hand so he could take yours, and that’s what made you realize you were still holding onto him before. But even with him holding your hand, for some reason, you didn’t want to pull away.

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” he laughed warmly with a shrug. “I’m sorry for confusing you. I just really wanted to speak to you, but you kinda make me like, really nervous, so...yeah.”

Your nose scrunched, “Why do I make you nervous?”

Almost immediately, your mind went to, ‘Well, it could be the piercings or the clothes or the fact you conditioned yourself to have resting bitch face.’

‘But he’s also the size of a giant, and judging from the size of his arms, he could crush me.’

‘Valid points.’

And then you found yourself just staring at his arms through the muscle tank he was wearing.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, the happy smile still on his face, and his large, warm hand still wrapped around yours like he’d held it a million times before this, “you’re just...you!”

You peeled your gaze away from his biceps to narrow your eyes at him, “You don’t even know me.”

“Then let me get to know you.”

You laughed at the idea, finally pulling your hand out of his and trying to ignore how cold your skin felt without him touching you, “Yeah, that’s a no from me.”

“C’mon,” he said, his smile not faltering one bit, “why not just like-- Ooh! Twenty questions!”

“I don’t have time to stand here and answer twenty questions from you,” you sneered.

Still, Lucas kept smiling. You wondered if his face was broken. Or if something in his head had short circuited.

“Ten?”

“No.”

“Five?”

“You’re real persistent, huh?”

“Three!”

You groaned loudly, your head dropping back, “If I agree, will you stop bugging me?”

“Yeah!” he nodded eagerly. “Well, maybe. I don’t know!”

You sighed, figuring that was as good as you were gonna get with this guy. Running your fingers through your hair, you shifted your wait from one foot to the other as you studied the chipper boy in front of you.

“Five questions,” you stated. “That’s all you get.”

“Great!” he grinned before he turned and practically ran the other way.

“Wait!” you called after him, making him immediately stop in his tracks and turn to face you. “Where the hell are you going?”

“To pick the perfect questions!” he told you before he raced off.

You just stood there, watching him go. He was definitely something else. Still, despite his irritating persistence, you didn’t find yourself hating him. It was...weird. You kind of liked that he bugged you. You...kind of liked...him.

You felt eyes staring at you, so you turned your head to see a small group looking at you curiously. They’d actually been watching you and Lucas the whole time because nobody could believe that Lucas was not only the one flirting now, but he’d chosen you of all people to flirt with.

“Oh, fuck off,” you snapped at them before you pulled your backpacks straps tighter and stomped off to your next class -- which you were now late for, thanks to Lucas.

-

Kun walked through the door, leaving his keys on the keyring on the wall as he kicked off his shoes. The first thing he saw was Lucas sitting on the floor by the coffee table, jotting down furiously in a notebook. He’d never seen Lucas study this hard.

“What, is there an important test you didn’t study for?” the older boy guessed as he walked further into the apartment.

He didn’t sense any signs of their two youngest roommates, so he assumed they were somewhere else in the building with somebody else in the pack. 

When Lucas didn’t reply, Kun walked closer to him and looked over his shoulder, “Hello? Earth to Yukhei.”

Lucas finally stopped, tilting his head back to look up at Kun, “Huh?”

When Kun finally got a good look at Lucas’s ‘notes’, he sort of understood what was happening. The pack had heard from Renjun and Jeno about Lucas imprinting -- he got a mix of congratulations and relentless teasing, especially when it was revealed who he had imprinted on -- so Kun should’ve guessed that’s what Lucas’s focus was on right now. What he still didn’t understand was why Lucas had written down a plethora of questions into his notebook. Some were more conventional, while others were just...weird.

Does she have a fear of killer clowns?

Did she ever see Phantom of the Opera and did she enjoy it?

Would she rather fight 1 horse-sized piranha or 10 piranha-sized horses?

Kun just clicked his tongue as he scanned the page that was full of questions.

Lucas covered the page with his arms like he was taking a test and didn’t want Kun getting the answers, “I’m doing something.”

“I can see that,” Kun nodded. “Care to explain?”

Lucas sighed, letting his pencil drop onto the notebook as he sat back and ran both hands through his hair, “_____ is letting me ask her five questions, and I want to make sure they’re deep enough that I can know her as well as possible.”

“And you think that knowing if she’d rather take on a giant fish or tiny horses is the way to go?” he chuckled, smoothly sitting crisscross beside Lucas on the floor.

“I’m just writing down a bunch of questions I’d ask her if I had the chance, and then I’ll narrow it down,” Lucas explained, gesturing to the paper. “The problem is, I want to know everything about her. I want to know what she’s thinking at all times and what kind of future she wants and if she’s scared of the dark and her favorite scent and--”

“Yeah, I get it, dude,” Kun laughed softly, patting his brother’s back. “You know, this is just the first step to getting to do all that. You just have to be patient and not screw this up. But you also need to remember that she feels that connection toward you, too. You’ll end up together, you just need to take baby steps, okay?”

Lucas nodded, giving a grateful smile to the older wolf, “Okay, I got it. Thanks, Kun. Also, do you mind helping me narrow it down?”

“Alright, well first thing you need to do,” Kun began, picking up the pencil and drawing a line through a question about your weight, “is never ask anybody that.”

“It’s an important question!”

“Do you wanna get hit?”

Lucas shrugged, “I dunno, depends on the situation.”

-

You didn’t see Lucas for a week. The only traces of him you saw were him smiling and waving to you when you’d see him around campus, accompanied with a cheery, “hi, ____!” that made your heart swell for a reason you still didn’t understand.

You also didn’t understand why you missed seeing him and having him talk to you, even if it was in languages you didn’t know. Part of you debated going up to him whenever you saw him, but you always forced yourself to keep walking. You also knew you had his number since he texted you ever now and then, but you didn’t want to text him first, either. You weren’t sure what was wrong with you, but you hated and loved it at the same time. It was all very conflicting.

On Friday, Lucas had decided he had the perfect five questions to ask you, so he tracked you down by following the pull. It was the end of the day, but you were still in the library where you were sitting alone at a table with a laptop open in front of you. He saw that you had both headphones in your ears, but he still strode over and sat down across from you anyway, his classic smile still stuck on his face.

When you saw movement across from you, you slowly looked away from your screen and up at the grinning boy. You tugged on headphone out, letting the bud fall and hang by the wire.

“Hi!” he chirped.

You just nodded your head in a greeting.

You then watched as he took a folded piece of paper out from his jacket pocket and placed it on the table before he opened it, “I have questions.”

You chuckled, finding the fact he actually wrote them down to be kind of adorable.

‘Since when do you find anything adorable?’

Were you possibly losing your mind? Yes.

“Alright, shoot,” you sighed as you closed your laptop and folded your hands together on top of it.

“First,” he interrupted, holding up a finger as he gave you a serious look. This was the first time he looked at you without smiling, and you couldn’t help but think that the way he looked at you with wide eyes made him look like a puppy, “you have to promise you’ll answer 100% truthfully.”

You just shrugged, “I have nothing to hide.”

But then Lucas held out his pinkie, wanting you to link yours with his, and you suddenly felt a flood of nervousness in the pit of your stomach. Reluctantly, you wrapped your pinkie around his, trying to ignore the warm feeling touching him gave you.

His smile returned, his eyes moving down to his paper when he’d removed his hand, “First question: what languages can you speak?”

“Spanish, Portuguese, Korean, and Thai,” you replied boredly, resting your chin in one of your hands.

Lucas brightened at this, “Are you Thai?”

You nodded, giving him a weird look, “Yeah... My mom’s from--”

“Me too!” he burst loud enough for people nearby to give quizzical looks and glares to the both of you.

You put a finger to your lips, and Lucas only giggled, rolling his eyes.

“How do you know Spanish and Portuguese though?” he wondered.

“Is this one of your other 4 questions?” you asked.

“No.”

“Then I don’t have to answer.”

Lucas raised his eyebrows in amusement but still didn’t seem swayed by your snappy tone. He seemed to enjoy watching you put up this tough front more than anything and you couldn’t think of why he’d possibly like that.

Dramatically, he cleared his throat before continuing, “What’re you studying?”

“Astronomy,” you replied.

“Ooh, like horoscopes?” he asked excitedly, practically bouncing in his chair.

You looked at him like he’d grown a second head, “That’s astrology.”

“There’s a difference?”

You fought the smile trying to take over your face as you shook your head.

‘You’re an actual idiot,’ you thought, only to hear somebody else repeat your thoughts at the same time but in a laugh that would almost be considered...fond.

It was you. You said it out loud. You were, in fact, the actual idiot.

Lucas only smirked at you, not bothering to even tease you about your slip-up. Seeing your eyes go wide while your cheeks burned red before you quickly averted your gaze was enough for him, causing deep happy rumbles in his chest that you could barely hear -- you thought the building was making noises or something.

“What’s your favorite thing in the whole world?” he continued.

“Being left alone,” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest.

Lucas quirked an eyebrow, “You sure that one’s the truth?”

Your eyes shot over to him, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he giggled to himself, eyes going back to his paper.

What he didn’t tell you was that he knew very well you liked being near him. He’d seen how you were with other people, and he knew very well that if you really hated him, you would’ve scared him off before he even sat down in the chair across from you. Lucas may have come across as dumb to some people, but he was quite smart and observant, especially when it came to you.

“What’s the one thing you want to do before you die?” he asked.

The seriousness of the question took you off guard, your eyes softening as you looked at Lucas who was looking back at you with the same doe eyes. You softly bit your lip, looking down at your laptop before your eyes flashed back up to Lucas.

“One thing?” you asked, your voice quieter than it had been before.

He shrugged, “You can pick more than one.”

Honestly, he just wanted to listen to you speak more -- and he was paying close attention to every answer you gave him.

You didn’t know why you felt the need to open up to him so suddenly. There were a lot of things you wanted to do before you died, but you weren’t sure if they were ‘in the cards’ for you, so to speak. But you shook your head, remembering that Lucas was just some guy even if you did feel your insides melt to mush just being in his presence, and you didn’t like people anyway. Therefore, you did not open up to anybody.

Not even cute, tall, multilingual boys who looked at you with puppy dog eyes.

“I want to graduate and get my degree,” you decided with a tiny shrug, averting your eyes like you’d told him your biggest secret or something.

Lucas smiled softly, his head tilting to one side as he looked at you like you held all the stars in the sky. You glanced up at him when he stayed silent, only to see him looking at you like that, and your entire face turned red, even reaching your ears.

“Yah, stop looking at me like that!” you whined.

He only laughed softly in return, his attention completely on you instead of his paper now. He didn’t even look away as he said in almost a dreamy voice, “Last question.”

You nodded, still avoiding his eyes, “What is it?”

“Do you like me?”

Your heart skipped a beat -- Lucas heard it loud and clear with his heightened senses -- and your skin somehow burned even hotter. You suddenly felt way too exposed in every sense of the word, almost like you just knew Lucas knew what you were thinking and how you were feeling. Subconsciously, you pulled your denim jacket tighter around you.

“No...” you grumbled, but you still couldn’t look at him.

“_____,” he sang in a teasing tone, “you promised not to lie to me...”

Your pouty glare in response was enough answer for him, letting out a loud, deep laugh that made your heart flutter. You huffed, standing up and collecting things into your bag. Lucas stood with you, going over to your side of the table.

“Can I take you on a date, then?” he wondered, standing so close to you that your arms were just barely brushing against each other.

“You already asked your five questions,” you told him, your voice sounding more like a grumpy child to him than an intimidating tone.

Lucas wasn’t even hurt by your words as you walked away with your things, leaving the library to go home. He continued to watch you until you were out of his sight. When the doors closed, that’s when he felt his phone vibrate.

He pulled it out of his pocket, looking down to see it was from you -- he’d only texted you a couple times beforehand, but it was always him that texted first. He was shocked that this time, it was you.

In the message was your address, followed by, ‘if you’re not there at 7pm sharp, I’m not going’.

He grinned to himself before he texted back that he promised to be right on time.

-

How you ended up at an amusement park, you weren’t sure. You did think the way all the rides lit up was pretty, but you still weren’t sure why Lucas looked at you and thought ‘yeah, she’ll like an amusement park. she looks like a fun person!’

But Lucas was holding your hand right as the two of you walked through the gates, so all complaints were left in your head because you didn’t trust your voice to speak when you were so flustered.

How did a boy break you like this?

He’d already taken you on rides, and he even paid for some overpriced amusement park food, but he still insisted there was one thing the two of you had to do before the date ended: games.

“I’m winning you something,” he promised with a sure nod as he led you toward the booths. Your hand was still engulfed in his large one, towing you behind him as you tried your best to avoid touching anybody in the crowd. “What do you want? One of those giant bears? A unicorn? Oh, I think they had minions over--”

“For the love of god, don’t get me a minion,” you groaned quietly.

He chuckled, “Got it. So...standard bear is okay?”

“I can win it myself,” you grumbled, tugging on his hand as he stopped at one of those ‘test your strength’ games.

“_____--”

“I can do it!” you insisted.

“Alright...” Lucas smirked, handing money over to the man before the man handed you a hammer -- a very heavy hammer.

Your eyes widened as the hammer dropped as soon as the man let go. Both of your hands were holding it, dragging your upper body until you were bent over, still gripping the weighted mallet.

“You alright?” Lucas chuckled.

“I...got it!” you huffed as you stood up straight, dragging the hammer with you over to the target.

“You don’t look like you got it, _____.”

“Shush!”

You managed to lift the mallet over your shoulder, taking a deep breath before you swung it down as hard as you could, hitting the target. But the little marker didn’t even make it halfway up the slider.

“Do you want me to--”

“Let me try again,” you insisted, turning to send a glare to your date.

He chuckled, amusement clear on his face, “You really shouldn’t...”

“I do what I want,” you muttered as Lucas handed the man more money, “I’m punk rock.”

He heard that loud and clear, bursting into loud laughter that had people passing by looking over at him -- and even some of the workers.

“You are not!” he giggled.

“Are so!” you protested.

“_____, having an eyebrow piercing doesn’t make you punk rock, and being punk rock doesn’t make you strong enough to win this game.”

It was definitely new to you to have somebody stand up to you like that. You’ve always hated people, you’ve always been upfront about it, and you’ve never had anybody tell you otherwise. Yet here was this six-foot-whatever dude who looked intimidating, was actually a fluff ball, and stood up to you like you were a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

Why did you actually find it kind of endearing?

“Fine,” you frowned, turning to face him, “you do it then.”

“No, you try again first,” he told you, waving you to go back to the game. “You might get it a little higher.”

“You just said--!”

“I said you’re not punk rock or whatever,” he chuckled, shaking his head, “but I never said you were weak. Just give it another shot.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. He knew you were going to do shitty, so why was he telling you to go again -- encouraging it, even, “You’re wasting your money.”

“No I’m not.”

“But you know I won’t do it.”

“But you’re having fun trying to prove me wrong, right? And I like watching you have fun, so it’s not a waste of money.”

Your frown fell from your face, and you weren’t really sure what kind of expression replaced it. Whatever it was, it made Lucas smile so fondly that you thought his eyes were actually going to turn into big, red, cartoon-y hearts.

So you turned back to the game, put the hammer over your shoulder, and swung it down with whatever strength you had left in your body -- even grunting because that apparently makes you hit harder according to every boy in your high school gym class. While the marker didn’t hit the bell -- not even close -- it did go higher than last time. You had to admit, you felt a little smug.

“See?” Lucas grinned, clapping like you’d actually done something.

You huffed, turning back to face him again, “Just get over here and get the showing me up part over with.”

When he strolled over to you, he actually looked cocky -- and kind of hot, but you refused to feed into that thought. He paid the man again before taking the hammer from your hands, holding it like it weighed nothing.

“Let me show you how it’s done,” he said with a wink.

You rolled your eyes, going to stand where he had to watch you. It was obvious he was flexing as he readied the hammer to be swung down, but you caught yourself falling for the trap and staring blatantly. Lucas noticed from the corner of his eye, smirking to himself.

Lucas swung the hammer down, sending the marker soaring up to the bell until it rung so loud that it kind of hurt your ears -- you had no idea what it did to his, but all he did was wince.

The man handed him one of the large panda bears, handing it over to Lucas who proudly walked over to you and handed it to you.

“His name is Xuxi,” he told you as you wrapped your arms around its large stomach.

“Huh... Sounds familiar,” you said in a tone that had a hint of teasing.

“Good name, right?”

You just shrugged, hiding your blushing face against the bear’s head as Lucas put an arm around your shoulders, “I-it’s alright...”

-

After the date, Lucas hanging around you was typical. Even holding your hand and putting an arm around you was normal. He hadn’t kissed you or hugged you or anything, but he did small touches like that, and you blushed just as hard every single time.

He’d also taken you out a couple more times. It was actually nice hanging out with Lucas, and you found yourself planning other times to hang out over the three weeks that passed since the first date.

[Yukhei]: can I take you out again soon?

[You]: yeah, when?

[Yukhei]: idk when’s good for you??

[You]: thursday?

[Yukhei]: can’t

[You]: friday?

[Yukhei]: thursday to monday is bad

[Yukhei]: and probably wednesday just to be safe

[You]: ??? why

[Yukhei]: heat

[You]: uh??? what

[Yukhei]: did i not tell you i go into heat then??

You were sitting in the library, procrastinating by texting Lucas. But nobody noticed when you lowered your phone away from your face and stared at nothing in particular with confusion written all over your face. Going into heat? What, was he some kind of dog all of a sudden?

[Yukhei]: ......

[Yukhei]: wait

[Yukhei]: i didn’t tell you about that yet

[Yukhei]: can you come over when you’re done?

You let out a sigh, collecting your things into your bag to leave. You figured this was all probably nothing -- probably just another lame joke he was trying to play -- but you left the library to go to his apartment anyway. You’d been there once or twice, so you remembered where it was, and you knew he had roommates there so nothing would happen.

The first time he ever invited you over, you threatened to pepper spray him, and one of them laughed when Lucas told them the story.

You made the 45 minute walk to Lucas’s apartment, going right up to his floor. Before you could even knock, he already had the door open as if he had been waiting for you or something.

“So?” you asked as you stepped through the door.

“Okay, so,” he began as he closed the door, but he began in a completely different way than you expected, “when a werewolf goes into heat, it means that--”

“What?” you asked, cutting him off as you looked up at him like he was going insane.

“What?” he asked innocently.

Your rubbed your face with your hands a few times before you finally dropped them to your side, “Literally nothing you just said to me makes any sense, Lucas. Is this another dumb joke of yours because it’s really awful.”

“I don’t-- ...Ohhh...” you watched as realization filled his eyes. “I didn’t tell you the werewolf thing, did I?”

“Where the fuck did you get ‘werewolves’ from?” you asked.

“From...me,” he shrugged.

You narrowed your eyes, not following at all, “What?”

Lucas didn’t see the point in making a big deal out of this, especially when he thought he’d told you already. Maybe he’d dreamed it or something, but he thought you knew about it. Still, he didn’t see the point in beating around the bush or trying to make it some big thing. He wanted to just tell you and get it out of the way so you’d know everything about him and how he felt about you.

“Yeah, I’m werewolf,” he shrugged again like it was nothing at all.

You stared at him for a beat of silence before snorting and shaking your head, “Are you sure you’re not confusing a word in the Korean language for something else? Do you know what you’re saying to me?”

“Yes, I know what I’m saying,” he nodded. “I can say it in Mandarin or English if you’d like.”

You frowned, “You promised not to speak in languages I can’t understand.”

He couldn’t help but giggle at your expression, shaking his head, “Do you want me to prove it to you instead?”

He found it amusing the way you warily eyed him up and down.

“How...?”

Lucas put his hands on your shoulders, bringing you to stand by the door as he backed up to the center of the room. You watched as he started to shake a little bit before his eyes melted from brown to gold, and his fingernails started extending into long claws. Your eyes widened, backing up toward the door, but hitting something much softer instead.

“Oh, I’m sor-- Yukhei, what the fuck are you doing?!” Kun cried, running toward his brother and throwing himself on him to stop him from shifting. 

The two boys landed on the floor beside the coffee table, Lucas letting out a soft, “Ow...”

You were frozen in place, unsure of what was happening at all. It was like your brain just completely stopped working, blinking and barely breathing being the only things you could do.

“I can’t leave any of you alone for an hour,” Kun huffed as he got to his feet before he reached down to help up his brother. “Seriously, what the hell are you thinking?!”

“_____ didn’t believe me!” Lucas whined, gesturing to you. “You didn’t have to throw me on the floor...”

Kun turned to look at you with an expression that looked like he was trying to think over things before he looked back at Yukhei, “Were you...explaining everything...?”

Lucas nodded, “Yeah, kinda.”

Kun let out a chuckle, shaking his head as he hit himself in the forehead, “God... I guess I’m the idiot that wasn’t thinking, huh?”

“Is somebody going to explain what’s going on?!” you finally burst.

The two boys looked over to you like they were just now remembering you were there. Kun quietly excused himself, slipping passed you and out of the apartment before Lucas slowly made his way over to you, golden eyes still on full display as he smiled his same Lucas smile.

“I already told you,” he laughed softly, taking both of your hands in his -- the claws were gone now, and you made sure as you lifted them up to inspect closely. “And I need to tell you because that means you’re my mate.”

Your eyes snapped up to his face, “What?”

“I imprinted on you,” he said nonchalantly. “You know what that means, right? I had to Google it the first time I heard it because--”

“Yes, Yukhei, I know what it means,” you told him quickly, your eyes closing as your brain finally tried to put all of this information into a coherent...thing. “So... Okay, I don’t know what this means, actually.”

He giggled, leading you over to the couch and sitting you down with him, keeping your hands in his, “It means I’m in love with you, _____. More than in love, actually. And I will be for the rest of our lives.”

Your heart was beating so fast and hard that you were sure anybody in the building could hear, and you felt your face burning with his statement. He loved you? ...Was that what that feeling you kept feeling was? 

“Don’t overthink it,” he chuckled, being able to basically see the gears turning in your head just from the look on your face. “I can explain all the details later, I promise. All I need to know right now is if you accept me.”

You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. You closed it, trying to figure out what exactly to say to his question, but all you could think of was a question of your own.

“Why did you imprint on me?” you asked, your voice just above a whisper.

You frowned, realizing how weak you sounded.

Lucas didn’t seem to understand the question, cocking his head to one side, “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Have you met me?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged.

“How could you like me?”

“I don’t. I love you.”

Your face turned a deeper shade of red as you tried to hide it without being too obvious, “Yah, don’t say that!”

“What?” he giggled, loving how he could easily get you so flustered.

“Stop teasing me!” you whined.

“That’s basically, all the fun parts, though!”

You huffed as you pulled your hands from his to fold your arms over your chest. Lucas only leaned closer to you, his head resting on your shoulder now as he looked up at you with wide eyes.

“Are you going to answer me?” he wondered in a sing-song voice.

“Answer what?” you grumbled.

“Do you accept me as your mate?” he batted his eyelashes this time.

You looked down at him, stood up, and marched out the door. But Lucas just stared at the closed door after you slammed it shut with eyebrows raised expectantly. He knew you all too well, and he knew exactly what was going to come next.

A knock at the door.

He chuckled, shaking his head as he stood up to go open the door. As soon as he did, you had grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him down to you so you could press your lips to his with enough force to even take him by surprise -- and he was stronger than any human.

You could feel him smiling against your lips as he held your waist, feeling vibrations against your chest that were coming from his own in happy rumbles and purrs.

Surprisingly, he was the one to pull away, keeping his hands on you to bring you back into the apartment.

“I still don’t know what you meant when you said you’ll be busy next week,” you told him as he closed the apartment door.

“Ah...” he let out a nervous laugh, “don’t worry about it for now.”

[orrible-orrible-orrible]

Music Facts

This was so difficult and still so much fun. A lot of my songs are Hindi songs All the ones marked in Red are Hindi songs. Thanks for the tag @softboylwt

1. Your favorite song - I don't have a favorite song. I can't choose, really can't but there are 2 songs I never skip, Lag Jaa Gale by Lata Mangeshkar and Rolling in the Deep by Adele so I will go with them.

2. Your least favorite song - I don't think I have a song that is my least favorite. If I don't like it, I simply don't have it on my playlist.

3. A song that makes you happy - Cups by Anna Kendrick

4. A song that makes you sad - Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey.

5. A song that reminds you of someone - Raat Akeli Hai by Asha Bhosle

6. A song that reminds you of somewhere - Zara Zara by Bombay Jayshree

7. A song that reminds you of a certain event - Bheege Hoth Tere by Kunal Ganjawala. I had to do an impromptu duet dance to this on my fresher's party.

8. A song that you know all the words to - There are about 500 songs like that but I will go with Hello by Adele and Kabira by Rekha Bhardwaj

9. A song that you can dance to - London Thumakda by Labh Jubna, Neha Kakkar and Sonu Kakkar and Paper Rings by Taylor Swift

10. A song that makes you fall asleep (or that you can fall asleep to) - Ajeeb Dastaan Hai Yeh by Lata Mangeshkar

11. A song from your favorite band - Home by One Direction

12. A song from a band you hate - I don't think there are any bands that I hate. If I don't like them, I don't listen to them.

13. A song that reminds you of someone that you would rather forget about - No such songs.

14. A song that no one would expect you to love - Work by Rihaana

15. A song that describes you - Royals by Lorde

16. A song that you used to love but now you hate - Tum Hi Ho by Arijit Singh, simply because I have heard it too much.

17. A song that you often hear on the radio - Bala (title track of the movie Bala, I hate it)

18. A song that you would love to hear on the radio - Just you and I by Tom Walker

19. A song from your favorite album - I have too many albums that I love by I will go with Hard Feelings/Loveless by Lorde and Ae Dil Hai Mushkil (translates to oh heart, it is difficult) by Arijit Singh

20. A song that you listen to when you are angry - Make Me Wanna Die by the Pretty Reckless, Saada Haq by Mohit Chauhan

21. A song that you listen to when you are sad - Jag Soona Soona Lage (translates to the world feels empty) by and Hold on by Chord Overstreet

22. A song that you want played at your wedding - Din Shagna Da (translates to The day of auspiciousness) by Jasleen Royal

23. A song that you want played at your funeral - Time of Our Lives by Tyrone Wells

24. A song that makes you laugh - Engine Ki Seeti. This song is so freaking funny and peppy. I love it.

25. A song with a great music video - Bloom by Troye Sivan and Kajra Re by Alisha Chinai, Shankar Mahadevan, Javed Ali

25. A song that relaxes you - Abhi Na Jao Chod Ke by Asha Bhosle

26. A song from your childhood - Chhaiya Chhaiya by Sukhwinder Singh. When I was a kid, I used to have one of those toy flip phones that would play songs when you would press the buttons. This was one of those songs. Also, it is very beautifully written.

27. Favorite song that you discovered recently - Toothpaate Kisses by the Macabees

28. A song that you would sing at a karaoke night - Slow Hands by Niall Horan/ Badtameez Dil by Benny Dayal and Shefali Alvares

29. Your favorite love song - At the moment it's Beautiful War by Kings of Leon or Bulleya by Papon

30. A song that you never get sick of hearing - Almost (sweet music) by Hozier

31. A song that you find annoying - Yummy by Justin Bieber. Never heard it but I find it very very annoying.

32. Your favorite rap song - I don't listen to rap music a lot but from what I have heard I will go with Apna Time Aayega by Ranveer Singh. (translates to my time will come.)

33. Most listened to song on your Spotify/itunes - I don't know. Didn't check. Sorry.

34. A song that you would perform in front of people - Hasi by Shreya Ghoshal because I know how to play it on guitar.

35. Favorite song from the 70s - Tiny Dancer by Elton John / Yeh Dosti Hum Nahi Todenge by Kishore Kumar and Manna De

36. Favorite song from the 80s - Kabootar Ja Ja by Lata Mangeshkar and S.P. Balasubramanyam

37. Favorite song from the 90s - All songs of the movie Taal

38. Favorite song from the 2000s - Toxic by Britney Spears / All songs from the movie Devdas

39. A song that you are not really fond of but you listen to anyway - Lovely by Kanika Kapoor

40. A song that evokes good memories - Barso Re Megha by Shreya Ghoshal and Uday Mazumdar

41. A song that evokes bad memories - Abhi Abhi Toh Mile Ho by Akriti Kakkar, KK, Shreya Ghoshal

42. A song from your favorite movie - Muala Mere Le Le Meri Jaan from Chak De India (translates to God, take my life away)

43. A song you wouldn't want to sing at a karaoke night - Back to Black by Amy Winehouse. I would never do it justice. Never in a million years.

44. Best female vocals - Shreya Ghoshal, Adele

45. Best male vocals - Arijit Singh, Hozier

46. Best party song - Single Ladies by Beyonce or Taare Gin Gin by Ikka Singh and Sukhbir

47. Best Duet Song - God, there are so many of those that I love but I will go with Do Pal by Sonu Nigam and Lata Mangeshkar

48. A song that reminds you of school days - Dhunki by Neha Bhasin/ Hall of Fame by The Script

49. A song you sing in the shower - Always you by Louis Tomlinson

50. A song that's currently stuck in your head - Not in The Same Way by 5SoS

51. A song that has a good beat - Don't by Ed Sheeran

52. A song from a band no one you know has heard of - Marz by The Yellow Diary

53. A song that gives you a rush - Breathless by Shankar Mahadevan. The singer sings the entire 3 minutes of the song in one breath. So it is quite exhilirating. Or Aigiri Nandini by Amit Trivedi.

54. A song with lyrics you can't understand - Thunderclouds by Sia

55. A song with no words - I don't listen to instrumental songs because lyrics are my favorite part of a song

Tagging: @aniridescentreadertoo @spiderrpcrker @moonlwt and anyone else who wants to do it.

[crushed-btwn-tc-thighs]

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

This morning low keyyy

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

If I will ever find real love...

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Getting to sec 5 honestly, even if I don’t end up passing it, I’m just glad I got this far cause I really thought I was gonna kill myself.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

My mom hugging me without me having to ask for a hug...

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

Nope, I think I’m pretty cool with how I’m living... BUT if I knew the exact date that I’d die, I might just admit to Alex that I’m head over heels for her...

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

Not really.

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

Alex, she’s got a light brunette coloured eye, and an ocean blue one, she has brown hair, she is super short, thin, dances like an angel, super sweet, straight :( , hilarious, and we love timothee chalamet movies, we love vines, we love tik tok songs, etc, we just have so much in common...

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

Not really, like it was probably really fine, but now I’m lowkey depressed so everything feels shitty anyway.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

I don’t cry in front of other people if I can help it, but probably when I was trying to talk about what happened with hunter to my friend katie.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

My ex, because we used to do that a lot and I feel like it would be fitting, and a perfect spot to talk about what happened...

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

If that stranger was Ashton Irwin, then hell yeah

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

My ex :(

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

I’d tell my ex that I was sorry, and that I miss her a bunch

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

They LOOK LIKE HONEY IN THE SUNSHINE AND I LOVE THEMMMM

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“Diggin’ my grave to get a reaction” from the new 5sos song No Shame, and it’s cause sameeeee

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

It Can Get Worse

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

I’d buy a puppy honestly..

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

yeah but I hate it because I forgive too easily...

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

It only needs to be a short ass sentence and it’s just don’t take advantage of your girlfriend buddy, she will mean so much more to you in the future...

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

punk I guess

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I LOVE THEMMM I have my septum pierced (had snake bites but I had to take them out for work) and 4 tattoos

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

yeah cause I’m uglyyyyy

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

5SOS OMG they really had me cryingggg but I was lowkey finna kill myself and they’re music was actually all I had lefttt

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

STOP FUCKING FIGHTING AND HELP THE PEOPLE WHO NEED HELP BITCH

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

Marie Mai- disgusted

Black Veil Brides- I cried I love themmm

Asking Alexandria- BEAUTIFULLLL

Crown The Empire- I didn’t really know them

NF- I honestly only went cause I wanted to go out and they still had tickets soooo buuuuut I ended up really liking it in the end.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

LUKE HEMMINGS SAYING HE’S FALLEN IN LOVE WITH ME AND WANTS TO GET MARRIED>>>

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

NOPE

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

Get baked, Eat, Watch Friends, Brush my teeth, Sleep

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

I had a big time crush on my mom’s ex boyfriend oop

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

I’d had realllyyyyyy long brown hair and bangs ause I love that style, with curlyyy hair.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

Katie, Emma, Kayley, Luke Hemmings, Ashton Irwin to go on a beach date, so me, luke and ash could have a date and the other three could hang around us I guess..

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

1) to be beautiful cause I’m not

2) to be happy cause I’m not

3) to find love cause I don’t have it rn

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

Lolita (Dolores Haze)

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

I pissed in my sisters bed when I was drunk and high

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

kill someone or something

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

song: No Shame by 5sos 

Person: My crush Alex :))

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

YES, it feels scary but also like you’re walking in the woods and can breathe fresh air, and hear birds chirping somewhere and it’s peaceful

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

I have really short hair rn but I don’t feel like I’m rocking it tbh

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

I don’t drink starbucks? I drink Tim Hortons coffee (double double yee yee)

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

My food and my weed

fin.

[scottfuckingreed]

I can’t describe the love and warm I feel waking to to such insanely nice things. All I can say is thank you, but I wish there was a stronger word for the gratitude I feel towards you guys.

I’ve always been a little girl with a writing dream. I was that snobby teacher’s pet who’d go home and write them stories for them to critique me on and give me pointers. I was THAT kid. I actually remember writing fanfics before reading them, because I didn’t really know what they were. I was probably 9/10 just writing purely innocent stories about fucking CONNOR FRANTA AND O2L?! (If you know, then fuck what a blast to the past) I don’t even think I knew it was called fan fiction until I started reading is later on, 5SOS WATTPAD IS THE ROUTE TO GO DOWN!

Tumblr was huge back in the day, but I never had it unless Connor fucking Franta was doing a Q&A on here or some shit.

Anyway, I’m getting slightly sidetracked, but it took so long to make a PUBLIC stories account. I kinda had a Wattpad one cause I had a 5sos fan account (don’t fucking ask) but Tumblr was different. It’s dark and scary and pretty much ANYTHING GOES. In 2017 when I made my account it was just on a ‘fuck it why not’ mindset. I remember writing my first story, which was ‘The End of the Year’ with Scotty😂don’t read it, it’s TRAGIC! But that was 3 years ago.

Whether you’ve been reading this shit since then, if you have I’m praying for you😂, or you’ve just come on to browse through, THANK YOU. I’ve always felt welcomed here. I’ve only ever really had positivity thrown at me. Towards the beginning (because season 2 was fresh) I got a little hate for liking Monty and wanted to write about him SO I DIDNT. Scott is the reason I made the account and I wanted to make a shrine for him, but I felt limited because of ONE PERSON’S COMMENTS. Then I don’t know what changed, but I was like who fucking cares. I LIKE MONTY. HIS STORY LINE IS GOOD (could’ve been better). HES SO HOT. HES A BAD BOY. HES MISUNDERSTOOD. HES GOLD. And I thought, this is my account. I’m already embarrassing myself writing and breathing fanfiction.

Fuck I’ve actually forgotten where I was going with this👀BUT all in all, thank you. I feel welcomed. I feel secure here. This is a safe place for me (kinda scary I know) and it has been for a little while. I always knew I wanted to be a writer. Granted, I didn’t think it was gonna be this, but FUCK how fun. You guys have made my dream into a reality. Without you, there’s just me on my own in the corner with Monty smut stashed away. Now, that might sound fun, but it’s so much more of a party with you guys🥺

I seriously hope you know how much appreciation and love and fucking blah I have for you. THANK YOU!

[rockstar-tay]

https://music.apple.com/us/album/calm/1497416763

https://open.spotify.com/album/0vX2Jo5xhltAA7kVdW2hwO?si=q26GTqdWRxOOLZPBOSvUOQ

It’s been three whole days since 5SOS released their fourth album CALM. I mean technically I guess like four since the band hosted a live listening party via insta.

Can we talk about that for a minute because it was ACTUALLY REALLY FUCKIN COOL! I tuned in like right at 9 PST, and Ash was already on there. He said some stuff, and then he played the first side of the vinyl. He actually like walked away from the camera which I thought was kinda weird at first, but then I definitely think it was to help take away any distractions from people just focusing on watching him or something. Personally I was listening with my eyes closed, and headphones in and I swear it sounded like he has subs because the bass was HITTIN. Anyways then later Calum took over (with lag of course), and invited Michael and then Luke. Watchin them react to the songs just made it feel so personal. Ugh. I hope they and other artists do it in the future.

K so before listenin to this album I was definitely a fan of the guys. I got a tattoo a couple of months ago and one of their songs came up on the artist’s Spotify so I started talking to her about them. She called them “my boys” when another song came up like an hour later (and I died inside). But yeah. I’ve liked them since... holy fuck 2014!? How has it been 6 years already!?!!?

CALM just feels so different from anything they’ve done before, and every fan is HERE FOR IT! Honestly I kinda feel like I’m gonna talk about every track because YO this album has crazy diversity when it comes to sound. Lyrically too like you can tell their perspective of life and of situations that happen has changed from how they would’ve done it earlier in their career.

🌟 Red Desert - With how they’ve layered the vocals of the opening chorus I immediately think “Beatles vibes” but then the beat comes in, and I’m like. Hm okay.. how did they get that transition to work?? Then towards the end of the song before the final chorus plays there’s a bridge with like a techno/edm kinda beat behind everything else. Like I don’t understand how they got all of that flow in one song but they fuckin did it. I actually find myself humming this one the most throughout the day compared to any other song.

🌟 No Shame - This one has been out as a single for a minute. Think I’ve posted about a fan theory of the meaning so I won’t go into it again. But in short if you didn’t see that post: it’s a bop.

🌟 Old Me - UGGGGHHHH THE GROOVE DURING THE VERSES MAKES ME WANNA BOUNCE AND SING ALONG! Every. Damn. Time. And this chorus like how can that not tug at your heart strings.

🌟 Easier - This ones another single that was out before the record dropped. Honestly it confused tf outta me when I first heard it. It sounded so.. synthy (p sure that’s not a word) to me, and just so different from what I thought they could sound like. There’s absolutely no denying how catchy it is tho and how can you not hum that melody?

🌟 Teeth - I DEFINITELY feel like this should’ve been on the stranger things soundtrack but I GUESS 13 Reasons is fine. goddamn Luke’s vocals... I could rant about that for a while. Anyway it’s totally a song that would get a crowd movin, and I can’t wait to see videos of when they play it live (if that even happens now #thanksrona #stayhomestayhealthy)

🌟 Wildflower - I typically do not notice lyrical content when I first listen to a song. Idk what it was about this one but I noticed two things immediately. One - Cal is takin lead vocals in this one. Two - that this songs about having a bomb-ass physical relationship with someone.

🌟 🌟Best Years - i mean Luke posted him singing it on IGTV already so luckily I didn’t cry as much when I heard it for the second time ever during the listening party. This literally is designed to be a wedding song. Michael and Crystal absolutely need to play it at theirs. You know what? Luke and Sierra too. (Lord I really don’t wanna add pressure to them but WE ALL SEE YOURE IN LOVE AND PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER SO PUT A RING ON IT ALREADY)

🌟 🌟Not In The Same Way - The fuckin hip hop-ish beat that’s goin on during the verses is the number one thing that got this one in my top 5 of the album. Plus dear lord if this doesn’t describe my love life idk what does.

🌟🌟 Lover of Mine - So with this one the first time around I just focused on how the overall like tone of the song seems to be soothing but sad all at once. Then the next time I listened to the words closely and jeeeeeesus. Right in the heart.

🌟 Thin White Lies - I really keep trynna call this one Thin White Lines. Anyways.. I hate how many songs they have a sick beat to on this album. It makes it LITERALLY impossible to not nod your head with it.

🌟 Lonely Heart - I really can see them playin this live, and havin a crowd of you know at least 8,000 singing back “Lonely it ain’t nothin new, nothin new to me, nothin new to you.” And it gives me chills.

🌟🌟High - Okay first of all shoutout to all the stoners out there. 🤘🏼🖤 But for fuckin real we all have one to five people we always think about when we get fucked up, or are just in our feelins for a minute. “I hope you think of me high. I hope you think of me highly. When you're with someone else.”

It’s weird that I feel so happy for them, and proud of them at the same time? I don’t even know the dudes but their lyrics are so fuckin mature and well thought out. From how they’re articulatin everything I’d swear they’re older than me, but I’ve got a couple years on ‘em. Just honestly they did a great job with this album and I can’t wait to hear more interviews of them talkin about it.