#<- yes i know they are crustaceans this is for anyone who doesn’t want to see leggy bois
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arwcn · 5 months ago
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isopod update!
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one of the porcellionides pruinosus molted and left his shirt on a leaf for his children to find (former shirt-owner pictured in the background) and i fully thought he had been guillotined in a tiny french revolution 😭 then i was like OH he molted. thank goodness
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speaking of the p pruinosus, their current baby count is 39 (i just count the ones that i can see without taking the lid off or disturbing them) and the total pod count is over 50 (?!) it’s been less than two months and the 10 adults have really turned on the printing press. the bebbes love hanging out on the cork bark and nibbling the moss!
the american magic potions are still chilling out, they just eat their moss and nap all day. no bebbes, but that might be a good thing haha
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keanbeanproduction · 6 months ago
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My World Building I guess!
I wanna be completely honest in the project I was going to talk about today. Just a little absent minded recently been really into fallout 76 and getting all the challenges done before stuff happens I guess. 
So I guess I could talk about a few of the worlds I built which I just gave them titles. It helps me keep them all together, and if an idea doesn’t fit with the world, I can always just give it to another one or I just keep it in a little note documents makes it a lot easier to just keep them all together. 
Sounds Messi had it is at some point it is but this is how I like to do it and anytime I add something new to lore. I just put it in the document with the world and then I go back and I kind of just put the stuff together that is connected, which I plan on, transferring all to an actual world building program. That’s the kind of like I’m one of those trees look like a family tree with ideas connected with each other and stuff like that.
So anyways, the one I’ve been talking about the most will always be my fantasy world one. I’m currently working on that is set an a world that doesn’t really have magic just technology is the magic or was used as magic kind of like how alchemy had very real science to it, but you know was misinterpreted as magic, and sometimes just considered just science. But it will have a lot of like a hill have minor love crafting elements to it later in the story with the main original three races, which are talked about as myth or legends that created other races, or taught other races how to do science and then they said in the lore that they are from the star so they are aliens, but I won’t explain it fully. I want to leave some to the imagination of if they are aliens or not or, what other races are aliens.
As with the Fae that exist in the world, a lot of the powers. They have such as mind controls up or even their arms and limbs being blades are based on real world, animals and phenomenon with animals. They just evolved to be that way, and are actually protectors of nature, a kin to like fantasy druids than anything else which I kind of like that idea and take a little inspiration from the borrowers. If anyone remembers that book, they like to collect things from races that are much bigger than that they aren’t exactly tiny.
Continuing on about the Fae, they range from mammal to insect like what that seems to be the main two that people have seen in the world which I’m just gonna keep it like that because it’s a lot easier to explain that Fai are kind of a mammal looking or they look like insects or crustaceans.
Which I plan to give Fae their own story in the universe that is separate from the dragon story, which dragons where they came from will be explained way way later since a lot of information about the original three races that helped grow other civilizations then just disappeared like nothing ever happened will be explained through myths and legends, but since I don’t have a plan for them just yet or I’ve already planned it who knows no one will really know if any myths or stories about them are true because I love them I’ve just been re-edited or made to fit certain cultures in the world.
But let’s take a step back from the fantasy little world I have and move onto one a little more interesting a little more sci-fi, which also really isn’t that specific I got a few that are kind of sci-fi, but this one has no magical elements, fantasy, races, or stuff like that it’s more in kin to cyber punk or prototype. I would even throw in a bit of that one game. Oh yes infamous where are you have the conduits in their powers.
I do have a few world that actually use magic about my own take on Magic since I don’t really have that many universities more or less universe called. I just called the horror universe that I kind of just have more or less for my stories that just don’t send anything I can just put them on the same world, and they kind of are all on the same logic of the world, but continuing on with this little Syfy one which I call GORES.
Which actually does mean something in the universe, but I’m not going to say it just yet it’s basically takes place in a world where genetic edit in and all of that sort of stuff is very common to the point where a company genetically makes mascots for businesses. As well as genetically altered celebrities and bands, which actually is what the story follows it follows, following one of these genetically altered creatures, whose band members were killed after they were deemed useless and outdated but as well, the company isn’t exactly good shocker, right?
Nope they go full umbrella on everyone else, and turns out all of the genetic things they may have basically kill switches inside that turn them into murderous rampage in monsters, with weapons that are biologically a part of them going for prototype and Akira on people.
I don’t want to spoil too much, but it’s very gory splatter Feste with other sci-fi elements, including psychics telekinetic’s psychokinesis all that sort of stuff mutants in a world that I would say, is kind of like Dredd almost minus the weird magic.
That’s pretty much that on that universe don’t want to go into too much detail and spoil a bit for the writing. Or on the rest of the little writing projects that I have planned out or I’m just saving for a rainy day I don’t plan to make all of them just it’s fun to have them around and think about them recently I did get an idea for one after watching RoboCop as well as watching a video on the game manhunt.
That universe would be one of my darkest and most somewhat realistic settings overall, just a very disturbing time, but I wouldn’t go overly edgy with it.
Well, thanks to those who actually read my entire little rant. I was having here and I plan to post may be a member to today as well but hope y’all have a wonderful day bye-bye!
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jeffersonhairpie · 2 years ago
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8 shows to get to know me
I was tagged by @haahka​ to deliver the good news of these self-defining TV shows! Wahoo alright let’s go - in alpabetical order so no one feels shafted
1. Bojack Horseman
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The terrible tale of a washed up actor from the nineties trying and failing to regain their mojo - also he’s a depressed horse. Equal parts comedy and devastatingly morose commentary on the human condition. If you finish it and need more please go check out Tuca and Bertie.
2. Chernobyl
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It’s the story of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster! Woohoo everybody party! I’m sure nothing depressing will happen and we’ll all be feeling extremely normal by the end. (Is the best bit of television I’ve ever seen though)
3. House MD
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Hilson shown for...reasons. Anyway I haven’t watched this show in years, I am comstantly battling a demon on my shoulder telling me to change that BUT I say say with great confidence that it’s a foundational text of my media enjoyment. The terrible tale of a drug addled doctor who gets away with eye watering quantities of malpractice due to him being the only guy who can solve medicine’s toughest riddles. Proceedural television never felt so good
4. Red Dwarf
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The terrible tale of the last human in the universe waking up from stasis more than a million years since the rest of the species died off. Dave Lister is stranded on the space ship that was his place of work for the rest of his life, with nothing but a gobby computer, a creature that evolved from his pet cat, a robot and a hologram of his dead bunkmate. Yes, it’s a British comedy from the early nineties. Yes, there are only six episodes a season. Yes, there’s a laugh track. Wait, come back! Where are you going I thought you wanted to watch Red Dwarf!
5. Steven Universe
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The terrible tale of a boy who lives with a piece of his dead mother so visible on his body that most of the galaxy expects him to fulfil her destiny rather than writing his own. The funny thing about Steven Universe is that people are still so mad about it for so many reasons but it remains one of the best TV shows of all time so who’s really winning? Don’t watch unless you can handle kids shows trusting their audience doesn’t need everything spoonfed to them lmao
6. Succession
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The terrible tale of a family who couldn’t lose everything if they tried, and the kids who failed to keep themselves together. If you’re following me and don’t know this show by now then you need to start putting in more hours on tumblr. Also, that’s Tom!
7. Taskmaster
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A despotic control freak and his extremely pathetic and wet assistant force people to compete in a variety of cruel and unusual tasks. Some for the game show to turn your brain off to, stay for the most insane dynamic between two men that you will ever have seen. Then, once you’ve polished off all 15 seasons of the British version, go and enjoy the international Taskmasters. This ride is never going to stop because they’ve discovered the perfect television formula
8. Twin Peaks
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The terrible tale of Laura Palmer, who washes up on the shore of a lake, already dead, and then we get to learn everything about her. TV nerds the world over are ready to gush about this show at a moment’s notice and it’s with good reason. One of the few pieces of anything that really can more or less be all things to all people. Plus, it’s a David Lynch show so it’s weird as hell without apology
tagging @valoricky​ @crustacean-frustrations​ @hickeywiththegoodhair​ @duelsong​ @holy-yeosang​ @tomshivyuri​ @fuckyeahashes​ @bby-daesung​ and anyone else who feels like sharing. You can do it or not. It’s fun to talk about things you like though!
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xxtoothachexx · 3 years ago
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a/n: I’m very tired and have a nasty headache right now so I don’t feel like writing anything serious tonight besides the stuff I finished off to the side. I miss the beach so I wanted to do a bunch of just for fun headcanons!! these are fun to do :)
Demon slayers at the beach HCs 🏝
Shinobu is absolutely the person that makes everyone get up at the crack of dawn to make sure they get a parking spot
Rengoku shows up in a complete dad fit for the love of god please don’t show this man floral prints
He’s also incredibly good at chicken fight for no reason, but if he’s on the top he has almost accidentally choked someone out with his thighs trying not fall off
Him and Mitsuri are an unstoppable duo
Uzui is the king of volleyball on the beach, mostly because he hits the ball so hard that no one wants to step in front of it to stop it from hitting the floor
Tanjiro has and had to sit off to the side for a while with a bloody nose while his wives could be heard telling him off
Inosuke is the resident menace on the beach. He has a personal vendetta against seagulls because one took a sandwich Shinobu specially made for him.
Has he caught one yet? No. Will he go on for hours about how he doesn’t catch them because they’re all so scared of him and won’t go near him? Yes
Zenitsu is the type of person who practically goes into cardiac arrest if anything merely grazes his foot. The minute he feels something he’s climbing the closest person like a tree. It’s only been seaweed on multiple occasions
He once stepped on a sharp rock and spent almost half of the day weeping over it being the end of him and how all his personal assets were going to Nezuko
Nezuko and Tanjiro build the most insane sand castles. They practically build a whole town just in the span of time that they’re at the beach Inosuke has accidentally knocked it down once and lived to regret it
Muichiro is insanely good at finding cool little seashells but he will not touch a single living creature. Sea glass is his definite favorite thing to collect.
Kanao on the other hand, will go out of her way to find little critters. She flips over any horseshoe crabs she finds and collects various crustaceans in a bucket
Shinobu joins her, she’s a bit more freaked out by things that can pinch her but she loves investigating around rocks for clams or mussels
Sanemi grumbles the whole day he’s there, the sun is too hot, the water is too cold, the sand is too sandy
He refuses to go into the water till someone dumps a bucket over him and he chases them in, definitely shoving others underwater
Genya is pretty chill on the beach! He just follows everyone around jumping between activities
He tried to surf board once to impress some people he found cute but failed miserably Sanemi refused to let him live it down the whole drive home
Obanai spends most of his time hiding under the umbrella. He gets sunburned easily no matter how strong the sunscreen Shinobu buys him
Mitsuri sticks by him mostly! She brings him ice cream and tries to coax him into joining her in the water
Gyomei normally brings a little book that he can read to pass time (yes I know he’s blind braille books exists) and talks with anyone who just wants to lounge around
Giyuu desperately tried his best just watch over everyone to make sure no one drowns and goes missing
Once Kanao handed him a crab she found and he spent a whole half an hour debating whether or not to dump it onto Sanemi. He did and spent the rest of the day camping out in the car
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hawksmagnolia · 4 years ago
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The Depths (Pt. 1)
Drunk Drabble prompt submitted to @the-ss-horniest-book-club
Request by: @marvelgirl7
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Summary: Because even a super soldier needs saving sometimes. 
Who: Bucky Barnes x mermaid reader
Word count: 2,341
Warnings: Swearing
Authors Note: So, this little drabble prompt has grown into a three part monster. Parts 2 & 3 will coming in the next week or so. I hope you like it Lacy- love your face! -xo- Allie Don’t forget to leave me feedback!
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The Depths part 1: The Cold Brine
“Be a
mermaid
who doesn’t settle
for making a
small splash.”
   -Amanda Lovelace
I was born with fins.
No one was truly surprised. My mother liked to say I was half sea and half storm, created when the siren fell in love with a Russian fisherman she found in a hurricane. I didn’t even learn to walk on the land until I was three after which I spent half my life on land, the other in the depths.
After my father died, something in me shattered, that all too human heart that beat in my chest. Being a halfling child, I was something rare, belonging to neither world but after I lost my ties to land I refused to live only in the brine depths with my mother’s people. I made a promise to the ocean lords that I would save as many others as I could so that his spirit would find rest and not be trapped within the seas for eternity. I refused to drag men down, to sing them to eternal sleep in the dark cold silence.
I was not quite sea, not quite a storm. So I made my choice, I chose to save lives.
During the winter months, I would circle deep beneath the vessels, dodging their cages of rope and metal, the ones they used to catch the ocean’s harvest of crabs, gently urging the crustaceans into them. I did this to help the fishermen fill the steel bellies of their ships before the winter storms could grow into full strength behemoths capable of dragging men to their watery graves in the arms of the sirens.
Sirens are often called the monsters of the deep, but they are wrong. The storms are far more dangerous than I could ever be. The storms provide men like a buffet of lost souls to the creatures of the tides.
And then one day, the Americans came.
Their ships were smaller, faster than my country’s ships. Their crews laughed and sang as they worked, sounds unfamiliar on these waters.
They would work on the invisible lines that divided the ocean as if the currents obeyed any man. I was fascinated by them, I would watch them from beneath the surface, my enhanced hearing not hindered by the waves.
For six seasons I watched them. Every spring I would venture to their ports, where I would see them offload their bounty. The selkies, hostile at first until they realized I was not there to steal their lands, then welcomed me. They taught me the language of these men, how to blend into the locals. I would borrow their human guises, the sun touched skin, the onyx of their hair and eyes. How to blunt my teeth and nails. A siren among selkies, I found a new home. They knew what it was like to live in two worlds.
In the seventh season, the winds changed and the hurricane came.
The storm slammed into the fleet, leaving nothing behind, dragging men and ship to the dark before anyone could even get to their little orange life rafts. The water was simply too cold for them to survive longer than a few precious moments even if they escaped the sinking ships. Two ships in two days and no survivors.
On the third day of the storm’s fury, I pushed myself to go farther than I normally did, swimming deep to escape the riotous waves and howling wind.
I couldn’t hear anything but the pressure above me increased, actually forcing me down. Something very large had hit the water. I shot through the currents, pushing hard as the ship rolled over once, twice, and finally settled on its side. When I broke above the waves, the small lifeboat was already in the water and men were scrambling into it. I dove again, checking the water for anyone who had slipped but found no one but I saw the little blinking box fall from the rubber boat. I knew it would call for help, the selkies had taught me about it. I grabbed it and turned it on, watching as the little balloon inflated and rose where I tied it to one of the ropes dangling from their raft. As I returned to the surface I saw the last two escaping but before I could feel any sense of relief another wave hit hard and unexpected and the final man shoved his partner in before he fell and was swallowed by the sea. The men began to shout but their safe haven was pushed away from their friend.
So I dove for him.
Most men panic and thrash. He seemed almost peaceful as he descended. His hair was long for a man, some of it has escaped his holder and was drifting about his handsome face.
I wondered what color his eyes were.
I grabbed his jacket, my claws cut through the waterproof material, and the clothes underneath to flesh, drawing blood. It was enough for his eyes to fly open and his mouth opened in a scream only audible to me.
His eyes were blue, the same color as the skies in Russia when the spring finally arrives. I know what he sees but I don’t know if he believes.
A spectre of the sea, solid white from my hair to my tail. My eyes reflect any light in the murky water, giving me better vision but also giving me an unnerving glow to my eyes. My nails are sharp, my fingers webbed to the second knuckle. My tail alone is over six feet long, heavily muscled, and ends in delicate wisp fins that look like a human bride’s veil. He can’t see but each of my teeth ends in a point.
Sirens are carnivores after all.
His hand grabbed my wrist, fingers encircling it. Not made of flesh, but of metal. With my free hand, I point to him and then point up. He stares at me and I start to wonder if his heart has given out in the cold but then he nods slowly. Leaving my wrist in his hand but releasing his clothing I shot towards the surface, dragging him behind me.
We broke through at a point away from the sinking vessel, far enough away to see it but not close enough to be pulled under with it.
He gasped and his teeth immediately began chattering. I snaked the end of my tail around him and pulled him closer. He swears but released my wrist as I sat him just below my hips as a mother would her child.
“Hold on to my waist.” I felt him tentatively wrap his metal arm around me so I grabbed both and pulled him closer, locking his fingers together. My body runs hot, sometimes too much so, but at that moment I was grateful for it. My body heat should keep him alive long enough to get him to safety.
His eyes bored into me. “You’re Russian.”
“Once, yes. Hold tight. This will not be easy.” I cut through the waves, slicing through the middle of them where the water was easiest to penetrate. I held him against me with one arm while using the other to create a tunnel for us to pass through. When the little raft bobbed into sight I gave a small sigh of relief. I could hear the thumping drone of the rescue helicopters so I knew they were near.
With a final push, I grabbed the outer rope and hauled us closer.
“Call them. I won’t leave until you’re inside but they cannot see me.”
His arms still tight around my waist, he called out for them to help him inside. I gently pried his fingers apart and slid him down to the middle of my tail so he could sit on it as his companions cried out in surprised joy as they began to haul him in. I slid myself back into the water, preparing to sink out of sight when his face reappeared and he grabbed my hand.
“Thank you. How..can…I see you again?”
Baffled, I stared at him. No man who has faced a siren in her natural state would ever want to see her again. But this was no ordinary man, he had survived in some of the hardest conditions known. I don’t speak, instead, I pull my knife from around my neck and I sliced through my hair, right where a perfect silvery pearl was threaded. He watched me, not even shivering anymore. I pressed the knotted strand and the pearl into his hand before I vanished beneath the churning water.
Bucky sat in the Coast Guard helicopter, an emergency blanket wrapped around his shoulders. The other crew members were almost giddy with the relief that they had all been rescued. He ran his thumb over the hank of ivory hair and the perfect pearl braided into it as his thoughts swirled.
He’d come to Alaska after seeing a show about fishermen on tv once he’d broken free from Hydra and left Captain America…Steve…on the banks of the river. Alaska seemed like the perfect place to hide.
And it had been. No one here really asked about anyone’s past. He used an old forgotten Hydra identity and claimed to be a war vet. At least the second part of true. No one cared about what you did, only what you could do. And he was more than capable than holding his own.
Everything had been fine until that night. The captain and crew, while friendly, also gave him much needed privacy and respectful distance. But that storm, it had been raging for days but had made an abrupt turn almost as if it was hunting their boat. Two others had already sunk, so his captain had made changes to ensure their safety. When the boat had flipped, they’d all been in their bunks. By the time it had settled on its side, the crew was scrambling into the life raft. But one rogue wave had struck the raft so he’d chosen to shove the younger man, the one with a baby at home, inside and let himself fall.
He had already decided to accept his fate when the pain cut through the numbing cold. When his eyes had opened, he thought he was hallucinating. Or that he was back in cyro, dreaming as the cold took him away.
But he’d never dreamed of a mermaid before. His memory may be completely fucked but he would have remembered that. She was like someone had turned moonlight into a deadly sea maiden.
Her face was sharp angles and big eyes that gleamed like opals but it gave her an otherworldly beauty. There was a certain exotic appeal to her features. Her tail was gleaming white and nothing like any artwork had portrayed, it alone was longer than he was tall. Her body was powerful, muscles tensing as she kept herself upright.
When her hand had grabbed him, claws had sliced straight through to his chest. He grabbed her wrist, convinced she was going for his heart but instead she pointed up. Her hands were actually quite delicate with sheer webbing between her fingers but tipped with deadly looking claws. He couldn’t take his eyes off her face but he nodded. She released his clothing, choosing instead to use his grip on her wrist to drag him to the surface. She was built for speed, several powerful strokes of her tail and they were above.
When his face broke through he gasped and the frigid air rushing into his lungs was a shock to his system. He began shaking, his enhanced body trying to keep him alive. Her tail had wrapped around his core, pulled him to her side. Bucky swore at both the cold and the sensation of her settling him below her hips on that powerful tail. He couldn’t help but notice that the air around them seemed still, that no waves broke over their faces and that her tail didn’t feel like fish scales but like more like a snakeskin.
“Hold onto my waist.” Bucky stared at her. Perfect English but her accent was pure Russian. He didn’t want to hurt her with his weapon of an arm so he gingerly slid it around her. She took his arms and locked the fingers together firmly. The heat was pouring off her body, soaking into him despite his wet clothing.
“You’re Russian.” Bucky noticed the delicate slits on her neck below her pointed ear. Gills, he thought. They were flat, almost sealed against the air.
She glanced at him with her pale jewel-colored eyes, the sclera almost black. “Once, yes. Hold tight. This will not be easy.” She wrapped a muscular arm around him as if she was carrying a baby. With one push, they were off. Water should have been dragging him away but instead, it was as if she was created a tunnel through the waves. When the life raft came into his view she slowed until she was able to grab one of the outer ropes.
“Call them. I won’t leave until you’re inside but they cannot see me.”
Bucky hesitated but called out, yelling for help.
She gently pried his fingers apart and shifted until he was resting near the end of her tail. Enough that he would be able to be pulled inside but still not seen. After he’d been hauled inside he turned back around and shoved his head through the unzipped flap.
“Wait!”
She turned back to him, her eyes curious.
He grabbed her hand, this time with his flesh hand. “Thank you. How..can…I see you again?”
Confusion softened her features and she hesitated before taking a knife made of what looked like an oyster shell from her neck and slicing the pearl and the hair holding it. She’d pressed it into his hand and then vanished from sight.
Bucky sighed and shifted again, making sure his glove was concealing his prosthetic. He shoved the prize deep in a pocket and leaned his head against the vibrating wall of the helicopter.
He needed a new plan.
@nano--raptor @cchellacat @eurynome827 @jobean12-blog @book-dragon-13 @aesthetical-bucky @marvelgirl7 @sallycanwait68 @buckys-broody-muffin @softpeachbarnes @godofplumsandthunder @azurika-writes @ikaris-whore @this-kitten-is-smitten @randomfandompenguin @bucky-plums-barnes @bugsbucky @littleredstarfish @emilylyoness @hailmary-yramliah​ @daughterofsteven​ @jewels2876​
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goldenraeofsun · 4 years ago
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If you’re doing more quarantine creature Cas fics, I have a couple of requests? Merman Cas who needs to be submerged in water frequently once or twice a week but doesn’t have a bathtub, siren Cas who forgets that Dean’s home with him and sings in the shower, angel Cas trying to heal but not being subtle enough, alien Cas trying to smuggle medical tech to help out, etc? Sorry if that’s too much, but just wanted to give some ideas
I actually already had the beginning of a mermaid au written! Here’s what I have so far:
Dean throws open their apartment door and yanks his mask off his face. “Cas!” he calls, “They were out of wipes, but I got toilet paper!” He drops the groceries by the door. “They were out of milk too, but I got eggs, bread, chicken nuggets, and peanut butter.” He pauses, listening to the silent apartment. “Cas?”
He doesn’t get an immediate response, but eventually Cas’s voice comes, muffled and slightly stilted, “I’m in the bathroom.”
Dean exhales a noisy sigh. “Seriously, dude? Now?” he asks as he strides over to the firmly shut door. “I gotta wash my hands!”
“Can you use the kitchen sink?” Cas asks loudly from inside.
Dean’s mouth drops open. What fucking gall, after Dean went out and got Cas’s groceries and everything - admittedly, the guy only wanted frozen shrimp for stir fry, so it wasn’t a big strain. Dean hammers his fist against the door. “We don’t have the right soap out here. Twenty seconds, Cas!”
“Can you wait?” Cas calls, his voice oddly desperate.
“No!” Dean says, horrified at the very idea. “My face itches like hell from and my hands are full of germs. Are you gonna be done in there soon?”
Cas makes a strangled noise Dean’s never heard before. “Not really.”
“Right,” Dean says as he mentally prepares himself for the image (and smell) of Cas taking a dump. “I’m coming in anyway.”
Water splashes, and Dean calms a little. Cas taking a bath is way better than what he’d been picturing.
“No, Dean, you can’t!”
Fuck that. Dean can almost feel the coronavirus germs sinking into his skin the longer Cas dawdles in the bath like a giant baby. Dean wraps his hand around the knob. “Grab a towel or something,” he warns Cas. “I’m coming in.”
“Dean!”
Dean shoves the door open and stops dead.
“I’m not decent,” Cas says lamely, but Dean hardly hears him.
Cas nods to his giant mermaid tail squished into their tiny bathtub.
“What the fuck,” Dean breathes.
Cas bites his lip. “I told you to stay outside.”
“What the fuck,” Dean repeats. He blinks hard a few times, but, no, the scales don’t go away, and unless hallucinations are a new coronavirus symptom, he’s really seeing a giant tail where his roommate’s legs should be. The tail is covered in sky blue scales that lighten towards the center in a wondrous color fade. Cas’s fingers flex against the wall of the tub, and, of course, they’ve spontaneously grown webbing.
Dean asks faintly, “Is this real?”
Cas sits up a little straighter. “Yes.” His neck moves and, holy fuck, those are gills. There’s a strange whistling sound, and Cas’s neck flaps settle back down. It’s kind of gross.
"I don’t...”
“I told you not to come in,” Cas says bitterly. He shifts in the tub, and a mini wave of water threatens to splash onto the bathmat.
“I - should I? I should leave,” Dean babbles as he takes a step back and nearly trips over the lip of the bathroom floor.
Cas shoots his hand out, but he’s too far to reach Dean, and the weight of his tail means he can’t get up. “Wait!” he calls, “Your hands! At least wash them.”
“Right, right,” Dean says dazedly as he stumbles over to the sink. He misses the tap three times since he can’t look away from Cas.
“Fuck,” Dean swears as Cas catches him staring.
Cas sighs. “What, Dean? If you have questions, I’m hardly in a position to avoid them.” He gestures around the cramped bathtub ruefully.
“You’re a mermaid.” Dean frowns. “Merman?”
Cas frowns. “There’s no word for it in your language.”
Dean doesn’t know what to make of that, so he absorbs it and moves on. “Have you always been a... merman?”
“Yes.”
Dean eases himself gently down onto the lid of the toilet. “Is this why you didn’t go to the beach with me and Benny last summer?”
Cas nods.
The scales of Cas’s tail ripple as he adjusts to face Dean better. Beneath the water, they reflect the overhead light in a mesmerizing dance. Dean asks, “And why you always go for seafood over Chinese?”
“It is our natural food source.”
Dean runs a hand down his face. “If you’re a mer-person, why do you sing so badly?”
Cas looks almost offended. “That’s rude. And you’re mixing up mermaids and sirens.”
“What’s the difference?”
That’s definitely Cas’s pissy look. “Mermaids subsist on fish and crustaceans. Sirens eat humans,” he says shortly.
Dean makes a mental note never to go to the beach ever again. Fuck Benny, if he wants to see Andrea in a bikini, he can go to the pool.
“So you don’t drown men in... bathtubs?” Dean asks warily as he eyes said bathtub in question.
“If I did, I wouldn’t be in the tub at the same time,” Cas says exasperatedly.
“You wouldn’t?”
“Look at me, Dean,” Cas says, splaying his webbed fingers wide. “If anyone wanted to murder someone in this apartment, it’s not me, stuck in a bathtub like a beached whale.”
“You’ve got a point,” Dean admits as Cas relaxes back in the tub. “So...” he starts, “Sushi for dinner?”
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elleonmybeloved · 4 years ago
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Fondly Dreamed
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TERA (The Exiled Realm of Arborea) | Gen/Multi  Words: 9623 Chapter 1 Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29024796/chapters/71238090
Summary:  The titans Arun and Shara dream of a world they call Arborea. Arborea was never a peaceful world, but it was always beautiful and full of magical creatures. When one of their first and most powerful creations turned on them, they banished him to the underworld, Agaia. But the barrier between worlds is weakening, and corruption is beginning to invade Arborea, unmaking it's very essence and turning the world into a wasteland of Argon blue. Lest their sleeping forms and their precious world be destroyed, the sleeping titans dream of brave, strong heroes who can go against the very gods, and banish the corruption once and for all, before it is too late.
Yeriss dreams of glory in a world full of meaningless death. Sahlin dreams of freedom. Elleon dreams of acceptance. Jelena dreams of a world of smiles and laughter instead of blood and tears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The early morning eye of Balder casts long shadows along the golden sand on the beach of Cutthroat Harbor. A ways away from the boats and boardwalks stands a young castanic woman. Water occasionally washes over her sandaled feet as the little waves lap forward, then pull back. A conflicted expression twists her beautiful face despite the tranquility of her vacation-worthy surroundings.
A shiny silver badge identifies her as “Yeriss.” Engraved into the metal is the sword of Kaia, and a number. Yeriss thumbs the badge. Then rears back and chucks the thing as far as she can with a frustrated scream. The badge lands too far away in the water to hear the plunk of it’s submersion. 
“I’m afraid that shiny thing is much too big to lure you any fish.” The graying human man in the wooden chair had been sitting so still, Yeriss had scarcely noticed his presence. She’d been too caught up in her inner turmoil to pay much attention to her surroundings. Still, it’s as much of a surprise to see a fisherman in Cutthroat as it is to see a pirate ship on the Jagged Coast. So, not at all.
“Ahahah. It’s just trash to me now.” She says dismissively, feeling a bit self conscious at someone witnessing her... passionate disposal of the badge.
“Looked a bit too shiny to me to be garbage. You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Hmph.” The man makes an amused sound and raises a brow. “Whatever did it do to deserve a fate with the fishes?”
“Promise me glory and adventure.” She raises her head in contempt. “And give me literally worse than nothing.”
The fisherman eyes her for a moment. “With so many of you stationed here, I’d recognize the symbol of the Kaia’s Swords anywhere. Did something happen within the order?”
Yeriss blinks and frantically shakes her head. “Oh no, nothing like that. There’s nothing to be concerned about, don’t worry. I’m not a Sword anymore actually I.... quit.” At his wary glance, she clarifies. “Recently.”
“Oh.” The man relaxes. “Well if you’re stressed about coin, you should consider taking up the pole.” He lifts his fishing rod in a way that indicates he is talking about fishing. Which is good for him, because otherwise, Yeriss was about to think yet another middle-aged human man saw her reddish skin and silver castanic markings and wanted to see the rest of them. In a setting with some other pole. 
It wasn’t the first time she’d heard a comment like that. The last man to compare her to someone working at The Rose had gotten an elbow to the kidneys.
“Uhh thanks.” Yeriss squelches a grin at the man. “But I’m not that desperate. And I can’t stand seafood.”
“Suit yourself.” He shrugs, adjusting his hat to cover more of his face from the strengthening rays of Balder’s radiant eye. “It’s big money these days, you know.”
She’s heard the rumors. “Big Ass Fish,” and all that. The idea is repulsive to her. It’s her opinion that anything bigger than you isn’t food, and thinks that if more people went to Serpentis Isle outside of the Festival of the Sun season, they might agree with her. If she concentrates hard enough she can almost smell the stink of giant crustaceans in the sun.
“Yeah I know. I’m not really the patient type though so I’ll have to pass. But good luck to you.”
“Goddess Velik go with you.” He says, a very Southern Arun goodbye. He raises his fishing pole in a gesture of parting.
Walking north up the beach towards home, her perpetual stewing thoughts have her nearly tripping over a hard obstruction poking out the sand. Were it not for her quick reflexes, she would have face-planted. Embarrassed, she turns to see if anyone witnessed that. Doesn’t seem like it.
Angrily, she kicks the thing. As retribution for tripping her. Maybe a little too hard though, because doing so dislodges it from the sand and sends it tumbling a ways across the beach. Walking up to it, Yeriss sees it is actually a wooden box, bleached a pale yellow from the ocean water, but hints of a dark mahogany at the seams suggest it was beautiful before it met the waves. Curiously, it is still shut. Quite tightly in fact.
It takes a bit of wiggling but with nimble fingers she pries up the metal latch, and with some effort, pulls open the lid.
Inside, there are several folded pieces of paper. The edges are crinkled in the way that previously wet paper dries, but for the most part they are unscathed by the ocean. Curiously, Yeriss sits down on the sand, places the box in her lap, and begins to unfold the papers. The first appears to be a letter of some kind. It’s addressed to a name she doesn’t recognize, but the sender addresses them as “Captain” several times, and as she begins to read it becomes clear that both the sender and the receiver are sailors. Pirates, actually.
“... failed to locate the Pearl of Gluda… mixed up a cargo manifest… some got scurvy… heard the Sea Dogs made a deal with Jax’s Trust… big money… suggests a considerable amount of valuable goods, or just one…” Bored, Yeriss skips down a couple paragraphs and continues reading. 
“Hmmm... won’t have enough gold to make another search for the Pearl… could sell some info… some old sailors been seeing Valkyon Federation boats heading towards the northeast Arun Sea… through the pass above Baldera… our nautical mapping suggests the rumors of an island full of monsters as their location is true?” 
Yeriss pauses, holding the paper up closer to her face. “Getting as close as we dared to their ships, we saw several uniformed troops on board. Too many to risk to the sea if they were headed for Southern Shara. Not with the Federation’s discount on pegasus travel. Where else could they be headed, other than an island?”
Intrigued, she looks through the other folded papers, but they appear to simply be maps, with some markings and writing on them. She doesn’t recognize any of the names that label locations on the map, but from the shape of the landmass on two of them, she thinks it might be southern Ostgarath. This far down however, should be Red Lash Pirate territory… how odd. It would be too good to be true if this is the location of a pirate treasure stash.
More interested in the island full of monsters the Federation is apparently keeping under a tight lid, she returns to the letter. Seems to her like they could use some help, if they need that many troops. What if she shows up and kills all the monsters for them? Joining the Federation… she’s considered it before, of course, to become one of the great heroes. Seir in his youth, the legendary Kaia’s Champion who not once throughout their valiant service allowed themselves to be unmasked, Delsha of the Golden Lance, Aldager the Spell-slinger, and of course, most recently, Elleon Kubel of the Argon War. 
The thought of being like them, known and loved everywhere is her greatest dream. But the ranks of the Federation army wouldn’t treat her any different from her extremely disappointing two-year experience with the Kaia’s Swords. Yeriss has heard enough to be sure of that.
It’s then that her eyes catch on a phrase within the letter, ‘found a few stowaways, saw them over the plank.’ 
“Stowaway…” She murmurs to herself thoughtfully, mind suddenly whirling. Who said she had to join the Federation to help them? Quickly tracing back up, she finds the part about the ship sightings again. 
“--Were close enough to read only the vessel’s name through the spyglass, and that’s because it was rather boldly emblazoned across her side in glowing letters shaped from cobala ore. The Pride.”
Violent and lacking scruples as they may be, Yeriss has to thank these pirates for their information. Now all she needs to do is find out where and when The Pride is to set sail… and sneak herself aboard.
~~~
Castanics get a lot of credit for their agility. There’s a saying Yeriss has heard, not even one made by her own people, that a castanic will always land on their feet regardless of how high a drop they fall from. The biggest testament to her castanic agility right now, however, is how she’s managed to fold herself into such a shape as to fit within this wooden barrel. It smells like sarberries, which is an intentional choice on Yeriss’s part. Like everything else being loaded onto The Pride, it is marked with the four-pointed circular compass symbol that represents the Valkyon Federation.
Her hips and lower back are starting to hurt by the time she has been picked up and carried onto the ship. There weren’t any reasons why someone would lift the lid to check the cargo, but she holds as still as possible regardless. 
Whoever is carrying her is lucky she’ll never see their face. The way they swing down and toss her barrel to thunk against the floor like nothing more than a sack of mudroots has her silently seething to Mother Shara to please give them holy retribution in the form of sea sicknesses. 
“No need to be so rough with that.” Someone remarks, and she can hear the sounds of three or four sets of footsteps. “I think these have the fruits and vegetables in them. The recruits from Poporia won’t be happy with you if their fruit is covered in bruises.” 
Yeriss silently agrees with them, though she supposed she should actually be the guilty one here. It’s a shame about the sarberries she had to dump into the ocean. But she wasn’t about to spend an extended amount of time in a cramped space with an unpleasant smell.
Her hips are really starting to complain by the time she no longer hears the sounds of people loading barrels into the cargo hold. The slight rock of the ship is making it worse, because it makes the rough wood dig into her side. Originally, she was going to wait until she was sure the ship had set sail before coming out of hiding, but now, she lifts the lid and cautiously pokes a head out as soon as the sounds of loading cargo have quieted.
The dimly lit hold is full of crates that surround her, but free of people. Yeriss carefully clambers out of the barrel and does her best job to silently arrange herself in a spot between them, hidden from sight. Distantly, she hears the bell ringing, signaling their departure. The steady sway of the vessel turns into a repeating bob up and down, and she guesses that means they are picking up speed.
Well… now comes the waiting part. Yeriss thinks wearily. She is not the patient type.
She makes it less than an hour before she’s inching down the hall, much too far from the crates and barrels than she should be. Hidden underneath a covered latch, she can hear some sailors or soldiers chatting above her.
“... second station with the Federation…”
“...heard about the First Expedition and applied to be a part of the second, but-... and Leander left in such a hurry I missed my chance to-”
“-yes, we served together on our previous post and,”
“Pleasure to make your acquaintance, I’m the-”
From what she can hear, it sounds like people are introducing themselves to each other. It’s odd because she'd assumed that the troops on this… third “Expedition”? to all be part of the same regiment. It’s sounding like they just accepted anyone within the Federation who wasn’t essential on their post to apply.
Eyeing the empty underdeck, she weighs the risks of getting closer. She’s not the best actor but if most of the sailors and soldiers weren’t even already acquainted with another, maybe she could pretend to be a recruit? Wait no, there was certainly a consul on deck for this many troops, and if she ran into them, they might know she wasn’t a Federation soldier. Or would they?
A creaking sound nearby startles her out of her risky mental debate, and she darts back down the hall. Adrenaline surges in her veins as she tries to scramble back into her hiding spot between the crates as quietly as possible while heavy footsteps approach down the hall. Clapping a hand over her mouth to quiet her breathing, Yeriss holds very still as the person stops in front of the cargo pile. There’s a quiet pause before she hears the sound of shuffling as whoever it is starts moving the barrels aside. 
Wood creaks as the person opens the lid of a crate. From the light of a carried lantern, a large shadow is cast on the wall of the ship, and from the size, shape, and the horns and long pointy shapes coming from their head, she thinks it may actually be… an amani? An odd popping noise has her raising a brow. Did someone just… uncork a bottle?
“Can’t say I anticipated having weevils in my hardtack on a job like this.” The rich, feminine voice rings out clear and sharp, and were Yeriss the jumpier sort, she would’ve certainly flinched at it’s suddenness. “You’d better get out here and explain yourself before I deal with you the way I’ve always dealt with rats on my ship.”
“...” Maybe she’s bluffing?
“There’s no point in hiding, I can see your horns. We amani have much better eyesight in the dark, you know.”
Damn.
Cautiously, Yeriss climbs out from her hiding spot. To her surprise, there’s no weapon pointed at her. Instead, a tall amani woman in gray and black leans against the wall, sipping a bottle of spiced rum like it’s water. She sees no identification pin on her, so maybe this is one of the sailors? Or the help? There’s no way this is the captain… she’s never even heard of an amani owning a ship, or even being interested in something other than the honor of glorious battle.
“Who are you?” She asks, genuinely curious.
The amani raises an eyebrow and lowers her bottle. “You’ve got some nerve. Who am I? Who are you, and what are you doing stowing away on my ship?”
“Your ship? So you actually are the Captain?” 
“Yes. They call me Mahera the Sealion, and I bought this vessel, The Pride, and all her deadly upgrades with no small amount of gold. So if you don’t tell me who you are, you slippery little castanic, I have the authority to dump you in the sea this very second. You should get talking.”
“Sorry, I was just… in shock. I’m Yeriss. I’m a swordswoman. I heard the Federation was sending troops to the Island of Dawn on this ship and that there’s a bunch of monsters there… I uh, recently quit the Kaia’s Swords and I haven’t seen much action recently so I wanted to come help.” She hastily explains.
“Uh huh. Why not enlist and just board the official way?”
“... I heard they are only letting veteran soldiers come here. If I joined today I would probably end up on the Island in three years or something. So I figured I’d skip the waiting line.”
“Oh really. And how did you ‘hear’ about the Expeditions when the Valkyon Federation has been very particular with myself and anyone else involved that the island needs to remain secret until they have the situation under control?”
“You probably won’t believe me, but I read it in a letter I found in a box washed up on the beach.”
“You’re right. I don’t believe you. I think it’s much more likely you’re a spy or an enemy of the Federation waiting to sabotage the vessel.”
“It’s the truth, I swear to Kaia!” Yeriss insists, putting her hand over her heart.
Before Mahera can reply, there’s a bit of a commotion above deck, and suddenly a gush of water falls through the grate above them, spraying them with salty water from what must have been a ridiculously sized wave.
“Ow! What the-?” Something hard and wet hits Yeriss in the face before bouncing off and clattering to the floor. Rubbing her forehead, she bends down to pick it up. 
“No way.” Yeriss stares at it in disbelief.
“What?”
“It’s… my Kaia’s Sword badge. That I threw in the ocean.” Yeriss says incredulously, shaking her head. She hands it to Mahera. “You wanted proof, here you go.”
Mahera’s expression cycles through doubt, to surprise, to amusement as she examines the badge. “Looks like the titans dream fondly of you today. This is beyond lucky.” She raises the rum bottle to her lips and takes a swig. “But just reaching the island won’t help you, Yeriss. The Federation’s got the Island strictly barricaded the further in you go, and the bankers and merchants on board aren’t allowed past the first one. You’d have to pass for a soldier if you wanted a hope of getting anywhere near a monster.”
“I could just-”
“Sneak past and fight alone?” Mahera interrupts her. “Not a chance. There’s a reason they chose one of the fastest ships on this side of Arun to transport this many troops after there’s already been two previous expeditions. The monsters on this island are enormous, and fight with a ferociousness we’ve never seen before.”
Yeriss wants to reply that unless they’re bigger than a vulcan, she’s got a one on one fight in the bag, but Mahera sees the defiance in her eyes and scowls before she can say so. “I’m serious. Don’t be stupid.”
“... I’ll figure it out.”
“Not if I tell the consul you’re here.”
“Or could you just keep quiet and pretend you never saw me?” Yeriss suggests hopefully. “It’s not like you’re part of the Federation.”
“You don’t have the coin to buy my silence.” 
Yeriss wants to refute her statement, but the meager pouch of gold, silver, and bronze coins in her pack probably weighed less than the liquor bottle Mahera is rapidly going through. But wait… 
“I could give you these!” Yeriss takes the maps she found the day prior out of her pack, unfolding them hastily and smoothing them out before holding them out to Mahera.
The amani captain hesitates, giving the papers a disdainful look before sighing and setting down her liquor and taking the papers. “What am I looking at, exactly?”
Yeriss has no idea, so she just shrugs. “Seems valuable, so…? You can have them if you keep my secret.”
After a minute of scrutiny, Mahera’s open expression closes off and she stares intensely at the maps. It’s hard to tell with her thick grey skin, but it seems like her face flushes. Yeriss looks on impatiently, wondering why she isn’t saying anything. Mahera lifts a hand to cover her mouth, and finally she can’t stand it anymore.
“Well? Do we have a deal?”
“...” Mahera lifts her hand, revealing a very satisfied, sharp-toothed grin. “We do.” She extends her four-fingered hand for a shake, and Yeriss eagerly grips it, ready to have this obstacle out of her way.
Relaxing, Yeriss sidles up next to her to look at the maps. “So what are they? Guessing you know since you accepted them.”
“You can’t go back on our deal if I tell you.”
Yeriss balks. “Why would I go back on our deal? What, cause I’m castanic? That’s low. I won’t, I promise, just tell me!”
“No, not that.” Mahera looks like the cat that ate the canary. “It’s because this is the location of the secret hideout of the Red Lash Pirate captain… the fearsome, and also filthy rich naga pirate Nakarash. Unlike his better known grotto in southern Ostgarath, this shows a different location entirely. I bet it’s where he’s keeping the motherlode.”
“You’ve gotta be yanking Saleron’s chains. I just gave you the keys to a fortune?”
“According to hearsay, more than five hundred thousand gold worth. And well, it could be fake, but it’s very difficult to imitate naga. They write with their tails, not their hands, after all. I’m willing to take the chance. I’ve been itching to update my cannons and plating with some of that fancy new stuff the Unified Theory Institute discovered. With this, I’ll finally be able to afford it. And install a new prow, one with a lancet that doesn’t break off so easily this time.”
Yeriss visibly deflates. She’s not much of a money chaser but she just unwittingly gave over an actual treasure map! So much for being lucky. 
“Eh, don’t look so glum.” Mahera cajoles her, slapping her shoulder as she takes a merry gulp from her rum. “You’d’ve needed a boat to get there anyways.”
“All that gold…”
Mahera laughs, and tips her bottle at the pouting castanic woman. “Tell you what. As thanks for this, I’ll solve your problem.”
Yeriss watches curiously as Mahera lifts crates out the way one-handed. Must be nice having claws. The amani opens a crate at the back, and after periodically lifting a few things up to look at them, finds whatever she’s searching for.
“Your luck hasn’t run out just yet. Turns out my crew forgot to unload the crate full of the belongings of Federation soldiers from the First Expedition deceased or missing in action. Which means I can give you what you need: the identity of a federation soldier.” The amani holds out a silver badge engraved with the four pointed circle of the Valkyon Federation.
Yeriss takes it and holds it close to the light of the lantern. “Yerenica.” She reads aloud.
“Figured it would be easier for you if the name was similar. She was a castanic too, I think. Give me a minute and I’ll find her papers. Should be good enough to get you through if any of the officers notice something amiss about how you look.”
Mahera gives her a once over, glowing reptilian eyes lingering on the light luriafiber fabric of Yeriss’s crop top. “Speaking of which, you’ll need some armor.”
~~~
Minutes later, Yeriss is suited up and equipped with everything she needs to pass as Yerenica. Mahera retreats to her cabin with a new bottle of rum -celebratory this time no doubt- and Yeriss makes haste for above deck, ready to be anywhere but the dreary cargo hold. Sailors mill about tending the vessel, and there’s a large circle of upturned barrels serving as seats for a group of what looks to be twenty to thirty federation soldiers. 
Yeriss makes a beeline right for them. Picking a dry spot of deck between a few people sitting on barrels, she sits cross-legged on the floor, making sure her federation badge is clearly visible where it glints clipped to her collar. There are several conversations ongoing, and she tunes in to the one of the people sitting closest to her.
“Actually, I heard that we’ll be arriving just three days after the Second Expedition gets there. I wonder if Leander will have found Elleon by then.” A talkative human woman with fashionably styled hair is saying animatedly.
“So Elleon is still missing?” A bearded human man asks, looking worried.
“Yeah, I’m afraid so.” Another, more muscular human man says, and Yeriss notices he is wearing fancy white and silver armor that sets him apart from the rest of the recruits. Although, the way he’s casually slouched as comfortably as possible over the barrel conflicts with that image. “But don’t worry, if anyone can find him it’ll be Leander. For Elleon’s sake, I actually hope he doesn’t find him too fast.”
A female castanic with choppy shoulder length gray hair and light blue eyes sitting next to the man laughs. “I’m sure my sister would say the same, Consul Dougal.”
“I know I’m not gonna have to remind you again that I don’t want any of you all calling me Consul, Davina. If just Dougal is too hard, sir is fine. We’re out of Velika now and unless Aide Vene is hanging around there’s no need for it.”
“Wow, really? I’ve never met someone so high ranked who didn’t act like all that and a bag of mudroot crisps.” The stylish human woman remarks. 
Dougal waves a hand. “We’re all friends in the Valkyon Federation, I’d like to think. If you want to stand on ceremony, save it for Tribune Adria when we’re on the island. She’ll be more in charge of you than I am. Or Vene, if you want, but be careful. His head is already big enough you might fool him into thinking he is the Vanarch.”
Yeriss knows who Elleon is of course, and knew of Dougal, Commander Seir’s right hand man before, but otherwise she’s pretty lost in this conversation. As the others continue to chat, the baraka perched politely on the barrel beside her turns to her. He is a bit smaller than most baraka she’s seen, and doesn’t have much ‘facial hair’ present in the soft stone of his face.
“Hello there. I haven’t seen you around yet, my name is Heqim. It is my pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
Surprised but happy to be included, she returns his friendliness. “Hey, I’m Yeri- Yerenica.” She quickly corrects herself. Oops! “And yeah I wasn’t feeling so great earlier so I was resting below deck. Looks like I missed out on the important details of the fishwife gossip, huh?”
“You certainly have, though I do remember it all if you truly wish to be caught up on it.” Heqim says. Like most baraka, his face and tone are unreadable… but after a moment of scrutiny, he cracks a perceptible small grin. That was a joke? Yeriss can’t help the surprised laughter.
“I’m only kidding of course.” He says, looking pleased at having amused her. “At some point I started recalling a very interesting tale I heard during my previous post in Bastion and got a bit lost in thought.”
“Oh really? I’ve actually never been to Bastion, and not because I’m a castanic, just haven’t had the chance. I don’t think Balder would really mind anyway, since he was so kind and uh, I’m such a garbage artisan. I’ve heard it’s beautiful and wild and full of historical discoveries just waiting to happen.”
“Indeed it is!” Heqim agrees, looking as excited as a baraka can. “The tale is actually about Balder’s friend, Shakan, the lord of the beasts. A researcher group from the Mysterium that my squad and I were guarding uncovered a new repository of knowledge from before the age of the Divine War. On it was recorded a collection of recordings from one of the temple servants at the time. Quite scandalously, they regale the listener with tales of just how much fur they have to clean off the temple floors every time Shakan came to visit his friend and rumors that since none of them have seen him directly… well.” 
Heqim casts a furtive gaze among the soldiers to see if anyone is really listening to him. “They basically insinuated that Shakan in reality was just Balder’s large hound, and that he wanted his pet to feel special and loved and so gave him his title as the Beastlord. They said they heard him speaking to Shakan in a tone not unsimilar to one used to coo at one’s pooch.”
“No way.” Yeriss says. “Shakan, the god? The great lord of all beasts, rumored to have foot-long claws... a dog?”
“It’s more plausible if you consider it carefully. All the fabled descriptions could be exaggerations encouraged by Balder to make his loyal pet happy. Would it not be common for a temple servant to bemoan the claw marks of a hyper dog amongst themselves, and call him a beast with the largest of claws?”
Yeriss stares. “Uuuuuum...you know what, I think you’re right. But if anybody from southeastern Shara, especially a high elf, heard you right now you’d be fighting for your life. Or your credibility I guess, which among those academic types is their life.”
The stylish human woman overhears this, and makes a statement about high elves and academia that has the group of varied races in something weapons short of an argument. Over the next couple days at sea, Yeriss learns that a boat is a very small place to be with so many troops. Though the Valkyon Federation was revolutionary for its unification of the seven races, expecting them to get along all the time was another matter entirely.
~~~
Three days later, they arrive at the Island of Dawn. For an island that is supposedly overrun with huge monsters, it’s absolutely gorgeous. If you ignore the ring of shipwrecks around it of course. Clear sky, nestled a few miles down in the ocean in a way that makes it look like it’s surrounded by perpetual waterfall on all sides, double rainbows made from the mist of the falling seawater, and the biggest pinkest… tree? which is a strange combination of wood and stone carved entirely with glowing turquoise runes. What a view.
They can’t actually approach the island by boat of course, so they dock on a small wooden platform and reach the island by pegasus, in groups of 8 since that’s how many they have to share. The crew of The Pride begins loading the Federation’s cargo onto three airships like the ones they have in Velika.
Yeriss and the rest of the soldiers are filtered through several tents, getting assigned squads and locations, debriefed on the situation at the island, and given maps, issued weapons, and today’s supper. By the time all that business is over, the sun has set. Tribune Adria, who Dougal was right in saying is the main person in charge of all the troops here, announces that the Island is too dangerous at night, and the majority of the battle force on the island will convene tomorrow at first light and resume their fight at the bridge that crosses to the area the monsters come from. They call it the Tainted Gorge, because unlike the rest of the gorgeous, lush island filled with magic and nature, the Gorge is withered and gray, with little to no flora surviving in the place.
While the others retire to their tents for the night, Yeriss decides a closer look is in order. Unfortunately there’s no way to the southern part of the island from the Tower Base where the Federation main camp is other than the bridge east of the Shrine of Yurian. Approaching the area as if she’s just out for a night time stroll, she sees that it’s too well guarded for her to sneak past. There’s two guards on each side of the bridge, and subterfuge has never been her strong suit.
Walking around the camp as confidently as the rest of the soldiers out on patrol, she wracks her brain for a solution to her problem. Passing by the airship dock, covered pavilion, and makeshift debriefing area with barely tidied scrolls and tactical maps, she eventually finds herself at the partially roofed enclosure housing the winged horses. Most of the steeds are resting in the area beneath the roof, but one of them is leaning out as far from the fence as possible. It is a beautiful, deep brown with tawny wings, and seems to be trying very hard to reach an open barrel of gold and purple apples nearby.
“Why not just… fly over?” Yeriss wonders aloud.
The winged horse’s ear twitches and it turns it’s head briefly to look in her direction. Suddenly, it lifts and extends its wings out from it’s side and a very obnoxious sound like a tinkling bell interrupts the island’s nighttime ambience.
“Oh.” Many creatures on Arborea are capable of understanding some of the common tongue, but she didn’t actually intend to speak to the horse. She’s not embarrassed though, it’s not like she would know that the Federation put such a spell on their steeds. “Afraid you’ll get caught? Me too.”
Yeriss tucks a piece of her copper hair behind her ear and furtively checks if anyone around is looking at them. “Maybe we can help each other out.” She says impishly, and picks up the barrel and puts it within the winged horse’s reach. Ducking under the shadow of the roof’s overhang as much as possible, she watches as the horse tucks into the apple barrel with the reckless abandon of a man starved. So much for it not wanting to get caught- there way the seeds are flying, it will be clear as day to whoever approaches next just what happened to the apples in the barrel. Maybe it just didn’t want to get caught in the act before it could eat all the apples.
“What kind of apples are these? The way you’re eating them makes me think I should be eating them too.” Yeriss remarks. The winged horse stops it’s chewing for a brief moment to send her what is clearly a warning glare. “Just kidding! But if you tell me, maybe I can find you more of them, so…”
Instead of answering her, which considering it can’t speak and therefore she really shouldn’t have expected such, the horse finishes it’s frenzied feast. “Hey, horse. Wanna return the favor?”
The horse does not look like it wants to return the favor.
“Okay… hey horse, wanna escape the scene of the crime?”
The horse does not look like it gives a care in the world about escaping the scene of the crime.
“...Wanna go look for more apples on the other side of the island?”
That earns her an interested whicker. 
“Great! So, how do I go about turning off that annoying bell sound?... Hey, don’t look at me like that, I just got here with the Third Expedition, I’m not suspicious at all.” Yeriss complains, following the horse over to the other side of the enclosure. There’s a box on a table near the door. “This?”
Opening the box, she sees a book inside. Riding Skill: Tulpar, Bay, Raju, Ash, Basil is written on the book cover. Before she can even try to open it and look inside, the horse snatches it up in it’s mouth and shakes vigorously until it tears apart.
“...Um.”
The horse lifts its wings in a glorious skyward stretch and aside from the faint rustle of it’s deep brown feathers in the wind, it is soundless. Clearly, the issue is solved. Yeriss easily vaults over the fence and hauls herself up on the horse. Despite it’s perceivable attitude, it doesn’t shake her off. Her added weight is no hindrance to the steed, and with the ease of a bird, it takes flight.
Being atop a flying horse isn’t a new experience entirely - Yeriss has been on her fair share of pegasus flights. But this is a living, breathing being who isn’t confined to the predetermined path of it’s creators. This is much more exciting, and though it takes some gentle tugs to the mane of the beast, she eventually convinces it to fly in the direction of the Tainted Gorge.
“By the titans… that’s a lot of big ass monsters.” She says aloud. Ahead of them, many miles below, is the Gorge. There’s hardly any grass, certainly no flowers - in fact, the only surviving vegetation is the winding thorns of some kind of bush. More than that however, it’s crawling with monsters that appear to have previously been fey inhabiting the island. Blown up twice their normal size, she recognizes some of the monsters as fangspawn, a common corrupted form of earth spirit, as well as several teraliths that are going berserk and hurling rocks amongst themselves. 
There are some she doesn’t recognize, that look almost demonic in nature - some sick, twisted thing that appears to have several long appendages that come out from a common base which appears to have the torsos of two… human looking figures on top of each other. Nearest to the bridge are some humongous nagas, whom she can guess arrived on the Island of Dawn via one of the crashed pirate ships in the graveyard of vessels that encircles the entire island.
Yeriss has to admit the monsters are bigger than she thought they would be. No wonder the Federation wants to keep this under wraps. She heaves a very disappointed sigh. There’d be no overnight heroics… yet. 
She could probably still take the ones made of flesh and bone out in a one on one fight, but creatures of living rock and metal are always a pain in the ass without a magic user to help enhance your weapons. When it came to the vulcans and gulas she has experience fighting, the bigger they were the harder they fell. Maybe these would be the same. She’s seeing a disturbing lack of legs however.
“Let’s go back.” Yeriss sighs again, patting the winged horse’s neck. “Oh wait, wait- let’s check the Timeless Woods for some of those apples you love first. Then they won’t wonder where you’ve gone, if you show up with one in your mouth.”
~~~
The next morning at dawn, Yeriss and all twenty-something new arrivals stand gathered around a raised platform on the outskirts of camp, weapons glinting in the early light of the sun. Tribune Adria stands atop the platform, in full armor just like the rest of them. Despite Adria’s friendly demeanor and pretty face, there’s a seriousness to her that makes her commanding of respect. The large double-bladed greataxe that rests on her back is a physical reminder of that.
“Our reports list either direct contact with or sightings of the following creatures, which though you will be assigned to particular spots, it is important that you are aware that you may be attacked by these at any time: orisks, basilisks, ovoliths, teraliths, fimbrilisks, fangspawn, nagas, and hydraths.” Adria observes the reactions of the crowd as she speaks, and as if seeing something she expected, she continues. “These ovoliths are likely much bigger than the kinds one can find in the north of Poporia in vampir territory, and prefer to use their front legs as claws. Be wary of their eyes, because they will glint when enraged and often follow with a frenzied, devastating flurry of attacks.”
Adria looks for something among the container of scrolls she brought up with her on the platform. Unrolling one, it reveals an image of the twisted, metal-like thing Yeriss saw last night with the two humanoid bodies coming from either side of it.
“This is a hydrath.” Adria says. “I’m not surprised that many of you haven’t seen one, as they are quite rare. Rather than a creature that exists in nature, the hydrath is made when two individuals either succumb to or make a pledge with a powerful demon, who then severs both sacrifices at the torso and builds a hydrath using the two as well as the heads of several living stone serpents. Out of everything on this island, the hydrath is by far the most dangerous monster we have yet to encounter. If you see one, you are to fall back immediately and report to me or the consul of its location as soon as possible.”
Some of the soldiers ask a few questions, and aside from a useful warning from Adria that the range of a hydrath is quite large, Yeriss doesn’t hear anything else worth noting before the tribune is organizing everyone into balanced squads of five.
Moving to stand where directed, it’s less than a minute before four others have moved to join her. A male aman carrying a large shield and lance, the stylish human woman she saw before, carrying a greatsword on her back like Yeriss’s own, a male high elf with a large, graceful looking bow and quiver, and to her great pleasure and surprise, her baraka friend from the boat whose mysterious looking sorcerer’s focus swirls and collapses in on itself in a beautiful dance.
“Heqim!” Yeriss greets him in delight. “I should have known you were more dangerous than you looked.”
“I do believe there is a wise saying in there somewhere about not judging the contents of a book by the cover alone.” Heqim says, in a mock sage tone. “It’s a pleasure to serve with you, my friend.”
Yeriss flashes him a wide grin. “Same. I can’t stand boring battles.”
“Looks like the two of you are already friends.” The male aman’s voice is deep and soothing, unlike some she’s heard before that more resemble gravel. “That’s good. The better we know each other, the more effectively we will fight together.”
Making a fist over his heavily armored chest, the aman nods at the group. “I am Kagaran.”
“Oh you better hope we do, because I didn’t come all the way here to lose.” The stylish woman says, tossing her hair over her shoulder despite it being in a braid. “I’m Winra.”
“...Sein.” The high elf man says simply, and turns to the baraka beside him.
“As my friend Yerenica here mentioned, I am Heqim. Let us be smarter than our enemies in the Gorge, and our victory will no doubt follow.”
It is a very good thing that Heqim mentioned her name, because Yeriss had completely forgotten she was supposed to be someone else up until this point. She had been fully intending on introducing herself as Yeriss. By the titans, that was a close one.
“I’m Yerenica. Let’s send these overgrown monsters back to the dream, yeah?”
Tribune Adria comes back around then, with orders of where they are headed. There’s a north eastern entrance to the Gorge, but only the most experienced soldiers, and almost all users of the arcane at that, are sent there to hold the perimeter. Simply because it’s the area with the hydraths. 
Most of all the other troops are going with Yeriss’s squad southwest to get to the gorge by going up the hill, and the few left are to be stationed at the guard camps to hold the road and make sure no monsters sneak by and endanger the Tower Base. As they follow the path south accompanied by several other squads, with Adria at the helm, the beautiful scenery around them melts away into barren land. Yeriss wishes they would all walk just a little faster. Isn’t this kind of an emergency?
A heaviness in the air begins to settle on her skin the closer they get, and Yeriss recognizes the presence of evil mana. A human man called “Jarius” is a researcher responsible for the three barrier shields they’ve put up on the island. Twice now he has gone ahead of them to temporarily disable the shields they have set up along the path, and as they crest the hill above the Gorge, he takes the utmost care in signaling them the okay to go through. The shield is invisible, but she can imagine it sealing the path behind them as Jarius places the focus stone back on the pedestal. 
Yeriss isn’t scared. Below them are monsters. Her excitement has her struggling to reign in the urge to just run down the hill and jump for a leaping strike at the temptingly exposed eye of a fangspawn dragging itself around on the dirt. Finally the soldiers move, unsheathing their weapons, and she and the rest of her squad run after Kagaran to the east, where they were instructed to go, while the other squads charge down the hill.
Hauling themselves across the dirt on large, red hands, are five fangspawns. The closest to them sees them approaching, and lets out a high pitched gurgling screech. Heqim chants in an ancient tongue, and their weapons start to glow a faint blue. Yeriss knows this spell, it makes an edge twice as sharp, and a shield twice as durable. Sein kneels and launches a volley of arrows into the sky, and Yeriss and the others charge under the cover fire he’s providing.
Kagaran drives his lance towards the great snaggle-toothed maw of the beast, but it merely chips the side of the teeth as the beast snaps its mouth shut. Winra closes in to try and slash the flesh of its side, while Yeriss takes the other. They barely draw blood before the beast is rolling backward out of the way. Some of Sein’s arrows find their mark in a few of the fangspawn’s many smaller eyes, but this just serves to make it angrier rather than slow it down. Rearing back, it opens its maw wide and blasts a spew of liquid fire in front of it. Yeriss quickly ducks behind Kagaran as he raises his shield, and Heqim has a shimmering barrier covering Winra’s retreating form. Yeriss can feel the heat in the air around them. This is taking too long.
Of course the two most vulnerable points of a fangspawn are it’s largest eye, and the inside of its mouth, since a lucky stab upward through either would pierce both its brain and it’s heart, killing it instantly. But every time Sein fires an arrow towards the eye, the fangspawn just tips forward and catches it between the large curled horns at the top of its head instead. Despite the length of his lance, the beast is simply too much taller than Kagaran for spearing it through the mouth to be an option unless it is wide open. 
Dashing in and rolling aside, half the time getting knocked away by swipes of the beast's large hands, Winra and Yeriss manage to land enough slashes to the sides of the fangspawn. The beast stumbles, losing strength and it opens its mouth once again to spew some defensive fire. Kagaran is upon it before it can gather enough of its ignitable liquid, and spears the thing through the roof of the mouth.
With a last shriek and shake, it rolls over dead. The three melee are breathing hard. Harder than they should be, in Yeriss’s opinion, from only felling a single one. The other fangspawn haven’t noticed them yet. Though spawns have many eyes, they are all located on the front of their body, and have no ears to speak of. Nor a nose, for that matter.
“That thing wasn’t so tough.” Winra says, pretending like she isn’t winded as she twirls her sword in self-satisfaction.
“Can you lure one to us, Heqim?” Kagaran asks, tapping his lance against the ground to get the gore off. “We can take them on one at a time.”
“I know just the spell.” Heqim answers readily, and raises his focus to do just that.
Yeriss isn’t happy with this answer though. Not only are there four more, who knows what other monsters could show up in the time it takes to defeat them. No, she wants to report to Tribune Adria that they cleared this area, easily, and can advance further within the Gorge. The next fangspawn approaches, following the twinkling golden orb of light Heqim summoned like a cat to a light reflector. It’s honestly funny, and Yeriss can’t help a breathless laugh.
Sein glares at her. “Keep your wits about you, Yerenica. This fight is far from over.”
“Oh come on, just look at it! You gotta admit that’s funny.”
Sein doesn’t look like he agrees with her, but the fangspawn is close enough to notice them now, and abandons Heqim’s light lure to charge at them. The party springs apart, and they start again in earnest. But in five minutes of attempting to stun it, spear it, and slash it, the fangspawn just continuously launches itself into the air to dodge and slams down, the shock of the impact sending them all tumbling backward several times. Yeriss’s legs are starting to bruise. 
More annoyingly than all that, the fangspawn keeps ignoring Kagaran’s attempts to draw it’s attention and instead chases after Heqim. Though Heqim is able to dodge each time, it’s getting increasingly harder for him to focus on keeping up the enhancement spell on their weapons. Kagaran’s shield has a large dent in it. 
Sein actually lands an arrow in its largest eye, and for a minute Yeriss thinks they’ve killed it. She approaches it to inspect whether or not it’s still breathing, greatsword out in front of her cautiously. Suddenly, it launches itself forward, the smaller eyes flashing red as it rolls straight towards at top speed. 
“Yerenica watch out!!” She hears Heqim call out in warning.
There’s no time to roll out of the way. On pure instinct, she charges towards it instead of away, and just before impact she turns to the side and puts all her weight and moventum onto her sword, in the hardest slice she can muster. If she can’t go around, she will go through! Briefly blinded by a flash of blue, it’s a moment before she can regain her balance. The fangspawn lies in two halves on either side of her. 
“Wow.” Yeriss says breathlessly. “I wasn’t sure that would work!” She smiles at Heqim. “Thanks for the shield.”
“You’re… welcome. Of course.” Heqim says, looking surprised despite clearly having caught on to her idea quickly enough to amplify her weapon’s edge and shield her from the gore. Her other companions are staring at the fangspawn’s halved remains. 
“Well done.” Kagaran says, sounding half impressed and half like he’s not sure he should be complimenting her. “Are you hurt?”
“Nah, I’m fine.”
Sein is staring at her now, like she’s the one with twenty eyes. “That was incredibly risky.”
Yeriss shrugs. “It was too late to-”
“I think the rest of them noticed us.” Winra interrupts her. 
Indeed, the other three are dragging themselves towards them, albeit slowly. Perhaps the sight of one of their own cleaved in half was making them cautious? Despite their large size, fangspawn brains are actually quite small, which is why you can’t just impale them at any spot in their main body and hope to pierce their vital organ.
Kagaran stands firm, but looks a bit nervous. “I suggest we fall back and look for a way to separate them. We haven’t proven adept at neutralizing these beasts fast enough to take on all three at once.”
“Fall back?” Winra repeats, looking offended. “We can handle this. The Federation didn’t send us here to take a year and a half just to kill some monsters.”
Yeriss actually totally agrees with the essence of what she’s saying, but not the way she said it. She got a bit winded earlier sure, but now she’s all warmed up and ready to kick some ass.
“Whatever we do, we can’t allow them to leave this place. I’m sure the other squads are clearing their areas, therefore so should we be.” Sein sniffs.
“Very well. Don’t make any risky maneuvers.” Kagaran acquiesces, seeing no other choice as the fangspawn close in on them. Raising his shield, he lets out a roar worthy of an aman to attract the attention of the fangspawn. 
Winra and Sein break off to try and get behind the group, and behind her Heqim brings out a different focus - a large spell tome this time. Instead of following Winra however, Yeriss approaches the front of the spawns from behind Kagaran, and waits for him to block as the fangspawn swing their large hands at him. Each blow glances off his shield, a testament to his strong grip. As he lands a goring pierce through the hand of one who didn’t retract it fast enough, Yeriss irately thinks there must be a faster way to take these things down before the triple tag-team of monsters can wear out the strength of Kagaran’s shield arm. 
Sein’s arrows hit the smaller eyes of the fangspawns and the area around it one by one, but with three of them it’s much harder to get a straight shot towards the big eye on their front. Especially since, although not the brightest on this Arborea, they’re naturally protective of their weak spot. Winra crows with victory as she lands a lucky blow that cuts up from the side of one of the fangspawns mouths up to right below it’s eye. Bleeding heavily, the thing can’t dodge the enchanted arrow Sein sends straight up through its main eye, piercing its brain. 
Before they can celebrate the victory, one of the fangspawns darts forward to take a bite at Kagaran’s right side, but Yeriss springs out from behind him and raises her greatsword diagonally, supporting the top on the flat of the blade with her hand to block, and angrily shoves it backward.
Across from her, Winra is muttering to herself as she swings repeatedly at the other fangspawn. “Stupid, overgrown, one-eyed, kumas sucking piece of filth-!”
Automatically, the image of a kumas comes to mind. To kill a Kumas is actually pretty hard because you have to cut off the arms, which are made of living stone. ...Wait. Gods curse it… forget the eye, forget the mouth!
Yeriss looks upon the monsters with new eyes. Native to this island, these fangspawn here have had limited contact with civilization and technology. The armor fangspawn usually wear on their arms is limited on these to whatever they could find among the shipwrecks nearest the gorge. Unlike other fangspawn, like the kind in Fyrmount, their armor only extends halfway up their arms, leaving the upper part bare. There’s not much space between the bulbous main body of the fangspawn and it’s arm, but it’s a big ass monster, and Yeriss is a castanic. She’ll fit.
She waits for Kagaran to block another blow before jumping up to push off his shield with her feet, riding the momentum and using it to give her speed as she darts through the space between the fangspawn’s body and forearm, slashing upward hard before rolling to soften the blow as she hits the ground. Using her sword and the force from her roll, she pushes herself back to her feet and looks back at the fangspawn. Blood gushes from the slice, the arm a bit more than halfway cut through. Yeriss frowns as the monster screams and spews enraged fire at everything in front of it. She’d meant to cut it off. 
“Heqim!” She calls out as she moves behind the fangspawn towards the other arm. “How sharp can you truly make my blade? I just need a second or two.”
Erecting a shield to help Winra block a rather hefty looking punch from the fangspawn Kagaran isn’t distracting, it’s a moment before Heqim answers her. “I see your plan my friend! But make it truly only two seconds, lest my mana deplete entirely maintaining your enhancement.”
Holding her blade high above her head, she runs forward as fast as she can towards the other arm of the fangspawn. “Now!” This time, her blade flashes a bright gold as Heqim pours all his magic into her greatsword. The sharp spikes on the side of the fangspawn’s body scratch painfully along her side, splitting the boscleather of her armor and drawing blood, but Yeriss doesn’t slow down, yanking her sword through the flesh of the fangspawn’s upper arm as hard as she can. It comes clean off behind her, making the fangspawns body fall over sideways. Kagaran extends the inner side of his shield arm out to catch her as she tumbles forward, and spears the dis-armed fangspawn through the eye with his lance in the same motion.
Recovering her balance with his help, she regains a steady grip on her blade and rushes to help Winra with the last fangspawn. The two slayers close in on the beast from either side. Unable to decide which way to dodge, the fangspawn doesn’t move, and dies impaled from both swords on either side.
After double checking the corpses to make sure the monsters are dead, Heqim is by Yeriss’s side, pressing a small bottle into her hand. 
“For me? Thanks! You’re so well prepared.” Healing potions are expensive, because they take a while to make as well as a certain level of alchemical skill to refine, so she typically just uses bandages until she can be tended to by a priest. The scratch is painful, but by no stretch is it serious. She won’t refuse his kindness, though. Yeriss takes a swig and hands it back. “Nothing like the taste of crimson essence.”
A survey of the area reassures her squad that the space is clear and secure. Those who were fighting relatively nearby are nowhere to be seen, but the corpses of several orisks and their green goo seep into the ground. Kagaran leads them back up the hill to rendezvous with the Tribune. They are not the only ones arriving there, and Adria quickly congratulates them on their victory and sends them and the other squad to aid one of the squads to the south struggling with a set of fimbrilisks. By the time the sun is high in the sky, Yeriss and her team have aided in taking down six more big ass monsters than their original five, but every time they clear an area a few more monsters seem to trickle in to fill their place. When they retreat behind the shield stone for a quick lunch, several soldiers seem to be complaining that there are much more monsters on this island than they thought.
Without a doubt this is true. But Yeriss doesn’t mind in the slightest.
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bogariel-frogariel · 4 years ago
Text
A Wish for a Better World Part 5: Time for Rina
Part 5 of my Time Travel AU. We finally see some Saccharina.
Here is the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25747657/chapters/62835820
"You need to be careful out there," a voice ordered.
 Ruby's head whipped around from where she had been staring at an image of Saccharina battling the thunder sorcerers and their storm spirits that had been harassing the Frosted Fleet of the bone and frozen isles in the Unnamed Lands that lay north of the Calorum landmass.
 Her sister wielded storm and weather magic as easily as breathing as she dispelled the spirits and called lighting down on the opposing ships, beating her opponents at their own game and Ruby had been entranced by her until the voice at broken her out of her trance.
 She glanced at the mirror behind her in her crystal chamber and saw her Aunt Sapphria standing there.
"I died in the Meatlands," the woman said, crossing her arms. "Those fuckers are deceptively perceptive and loyal to each other above all else."
 "Technically, we'll be just outside the Meatlands," Ruby countered. "And doesn't that describe Candians as well?"
 Sapphria snorted. "Maybe the loyalty but not the perception. We were all so blind."
 Ruby scowled and Saphira hissed from where she was coiled around her arm. In her dreams, her familiar was split into its three different forms. Yak had seemed to be content to sit on her shoulder whilst Cerridwen had curled up at her feet. Both of them bristled at the allusion to what had happened.  
 "I will make sure they all burn," Ruby promised. "They will not hurt Candia."
 Sapphria frowned. "Do not become complacent. Your visions cannot show you everything, something that Lazuli and I forgot towards the end, and it was our downfall."
 Ruby froze for a second as she was smacked with the reminder. Then, she took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. "Yes, Aunt Sapphria."
 Sapphria gave a lopsided smile as she dropped her hands to her side. "I like you kid. You're going to do well."
 Ruby grinned at her. "Mostly thanks to you, Aunt."
 Sapphria pursed her lips. "Don't dodge the compliment, kid. None of us know what happened to you, but you are driving these changes. We're only giving you guidance."
 Ruby frowned. "I wish there was a way I could contact you without worrying about her influence."
 Sapphria smirked. "That's why I came today."
 Ruby perked up. "Really?"
 "Yeah, you think I'd come here just to tell you to be careful?" Sapphria asked, putting her hands on her hips. "It takes a lot of effort to punch through the wall. And I'm not like Citrina, who would spend all that energy just to talk philosophy."
 Ruby blinked, temporarily taken aback before she took a step towards Sapphria, her familiars focusing their gazes on the woman intently.
 Sapphria smiled slyly, tipping her head forward. "I, of course can't say much, but you remember that book you are reading to help your father?"
 Ruby nodded. She'd found it in Lazuli's library, one copy marked with notes and another clean. She'd left the one that Lazuli had marked up at home, as both her and Lapin had agreed to not take any irreplaceable knowledge with them on the trip, and had been trying to interpret the Barbarian spells and arcana that had been transcribed in it, hoping to find something that would increase her father's strength and magical resistance.
 "I think you should skip past the section on Storm Heralds, your father can only achieve greater proficiency through his own effort. Maybe you should check the section on the Path of the Ancestral Guardian. I think it would be a good fit for Jet."
 Ruby hesitated before she nodded. She hadn’t had time to read the other section, since she'd only fond the book two days before they left Candia but her mind was already whirling with possibilities. She'd glimpsed the activation spell for one of the other Barbarian Paths and though she could replicate it given enough effort, but she hadn't considered bestowing it upon her sister before. She felt like hitting herself. It was such an obvious answer, she should have thought of it. This could be invaluable in protecting Jet. Ruby knew that she couldn't stop her sister from rushing into battle, but the Barbarian resistances would be invaluable in ensuring her survival.
 "Right, I can see that your mind is already working that over," Sapphria announced. "So I'm going to leave."
 Ruby glanced up at her and her eyes widened. "Thank you, Sapphria."
 Sapphria smiled at her before a small frown creased her face. "Just… remember to have fun, kid, alright? I know the visions can make you feel older, but you're still so young. Don't let your life pass you by while you're scheming."
 Ruby's shoulders sagged and she whispered, "What I saw… I can never let that happen. I have to save them. I cannot let Jet die."
 Sapphria pressed her hand up against the crystal that worked as a barrier for them. "Oh, Ruby."
 "I can't. I just can't. I've seen… I've felt what that is like and I can't… I won't do that again."
 Sapphria leant her head against the glass. "You."
 "I have to protect them. I failed… so much," Ruby admitted. "I was wrong. I was weak. And she died because I couldn't be better. And then she was gone, and I wanted to be dead too."
 Ruby took a deep breath. "That feeling… it never went away, and now that I have the chance to stop it, I have to. There is no other option."
 Sapphria was silent for a few moments before she spoke, "I understand feeling like you need to do anything to protect you family. But, please, don't forget to live. Don't come in here every night. Just… let yourself sleep. You need a break."
 Ruby gave her a thin smile. "I take breaks."
 Sapphria gave her a flat look and then sighed. "Good luck, kid. Don't get yourself stabbed by a Meatlander."
 ----
 Three days after that night, Jet burst into their cabin, where Ruby was pouring through the chapter, memorising the intricate spell and the runes that were required for it.
 "Ruby! Come quick. We've reached the isles."
 Ruby tucked the book into her satchel and came out onto the deck. Jet linked their arms and led them over to the starboard side. For about the thousandth time since she came back, Ruby nearly burst into tears. She'd forgotten what this felt like. This absolute and all-encompassing devotion, the certainty that she would always be someone's first priority. It left her chest feeling warm and floaty.
 She was surprised how well she slotted back into the role of Jet's twin sister. She had feared that she would have forgotten. But, for all that Jet and Ruby had stuck together, they had always been different people with different interests and priorities. Just because Ruby's suddenly shifted, didn't degrade their relationship at all. Jet still loved her unconditionally and completely and Ruby felt the same way. And, every day, that cold, throbbing feeling in her chest that had been there since the day Ruby ran across the bridge by herself, was fading ever so slightly.
 Suddenly, as they passed the first small, shockingly white islands of bones and frozen food, a deafening crack of thunder rolled through the sky, the clouds darkened above their heads, a thick fog rose from the sea and icy rain beginning to pour down, soaking Ruby to the bone in the space of five seconds.
 "What the hell?" Jet muttered, huddling closer to her.
 "It's the sorcerers," Ruby whispered, ordering Yak to soar into the sky through their bond.
 "Huh?"
 "The sorcerers." Ruby turned back and raised her voice. "Everyone get ready! We're about to be attacked."
 Jet snapped around. "You heard her! Pick up your weapons!"
 "To arms, men!" Theo ordered, as their father unsheathed Payment Day. "Chancellor, perhaps you should take the princesses into the cabins."
 Jet snorted as she unsheathed her sword, whilst Ruby unslung her bow from her shoulder, reaching behind her for the quiver at her back. Their father had let them carry weapons on their person about a week into the journey, when they showed that they were competent enough with the weapons not to hurt themselves or others.
 "Do you really thing I could keep them there," Lapin scoffed, his tone dripping condescending sarcasm. "Besides, if the ship goes down, it would be best of have them up here to get to the life boats instead of stuck below deck."
 Ruby didn't need to look around to tell that Theo to see that he was glaring at them.
 "At least, stand back, Princesses!" he ordered, stepping in front of them.
 Ruby rolled her eyes, bracing herself as the ship lurched violently against the now choppy sea. However, an icy trickle of worry dripped down her back when she felt Jet stumble beside her.
 Right. She had to protect Jet. She wasn't on her own anymore.
 Ruby grabbed Jet's wrist and dragged her behind the stairs that lead up to the stern of the ship.
 Jet glared at her, betrayed.
 "We should take cover now so we don't go overboard. If we get boarded, you can attack them."
 Jet frowned. "Boarded? I don't even see anyone."
 As if her words had summoned them, a larger island of frozen bones and ice-cream rose up out of the mist in front of them, three ships of milk-soaked fish-bone corral and large, hardened seaweed and tick crustaceans attacking it as two ships made of materials from a multitude of different kingdoms, all caked in frost, desperately tried to fend them off.
 The attacking ships appeared to be held together my sleety milk and roiling clouds and looked as if they had risen straight from the bottom of the milky seas. They were clearly attempting to destroy the ships, and the large village on the island they were protecting.
 Ruby squinted as the large Candian ship sped towards, spying a band of people on one of the ships that didn't match the blue-clad frost-encrusted sailors, nor did they resemble the dark-robed sorcerers or the milky sea and grey storm spirits that were attacking them. Her eyes caught on a flash of familiar mint green.
 "There!" she yelled, pointing to her sister. "She's on that ship."
 She stepped forward, nocking an arrow and sending it sailing into the air in a loopy arc, so that it appeared to be falling from the sky when it skewered the sorcerer sneaking up on Saccharina.
 The entire ship paused for a second, as they stared at their new Crown Princess, slinging icy spells as she tore through her opponents.
 Her father was the first one to break from his stupor.
 "You heard her!" he yelled. "Get the fuck over there. That's my daughter."
 The entire ship lurched into action in time to pull up alongside the spectral ship that was flanking the one Saccharina was on.
 About half the knights immediately jumped onto the ship, her father leading the charge with Theo only a step behind. Before Ruby knew what was happening, Jet was darting forward, dodging around Lapin as she surged across the gap between the ships and into the fray. Ruby had no choice but to follow her, leaping into battle.
 For a few seconds, the battlefield froze as the Candians spread across it. Then, half of the sorcerers' forces turned to meet them, moving frantically as they suddenly found themselves sandwiched between deadly opponents. The marauders and the sailors let out a triumphant cry as they realised that the new party was on their ship.
 They swept through the ship quickly, making their way across to the Frosted ship as the light blue taffy battleship moved out from the desecrated wreckage left in the wake of their rampage, engaging the one of the remaining ships, which was flanking the other of the Frosted fleet.
 "Get this thing moving," her father ordered and pointing to the other remaining ship in the sorcerers' fleet. The frozen calzone at the helm automatically
 Payment Day was dripping with black, sticky blood of the calamari triplets he had sliced through.
 Saccharina stared up at him, gaping. However, neither had time to speak, as they were all quickly engaged by the remaining spirits that had invaded the ship. Ruby saw Jet take a cut to the arm and automatically held out her arm.
 However, before she could cast the spell, her wrist was grabbed by a warm, fuzzy hand. Ruby's eyes widened as she glanced up, managing to recognise her 'attacker' and stopping the dagger mere millimetres before she plunged it into Lapin's chest.
 "Remember, Princess, you are blessed of the Bulb. We would not want to do anything to compromise that image," he murmured quietly into her ear, glancing purposefully around and eyeing the marauders and Frosted sailors. "We do not know who we can trust. It would be best to act with caution."
 Ruby snatched her arm back but nodded. "Of course, Chancellor."
 She sheathed her dagger and bowed her head, loudly muttering some frivolous prayer about life in Bulbian, as she extended her arms and caused a golden light to surround Saccharina, Jet, her father, Theo, Sir Toby and Gooey, healing some of their wounds.
 She glanced back at Lapin, ignoring the shocked glances that were thrown her way. He nodded allowing a small smile that only Ruby would have seen against his dark fur to flit across his face.
 "Good, Princess."
 Then, he turned and swung his lollipop staff, smashing one acolyte across the jaw and sending teeth scattering across the deck.
 The battle didn't last too much longer after that. The knights were highly trained, and efficient. Additionally, Lazuli had ensured the Knights of North Gumbar were prepared to battle magic users, and they had kept practicing throughout the years by tackling any rogue mages.
 When the last four opponents had been dispatched, Saccharina beheading a sorcerer with her sword, Jet skewering a milky sponge-coral spirit with her pink hard candy sword and her father, cleaving one of the acolyte fathers in half.
 Ruby had been forced to sneak up on the last sorcerer and slit his throat, causing sticking pork bun to spill out across the deck. She had gone to shoot him from a metres away but had found her quiver empty. Ruby was too used to Sour Scratch. She would need to adjust to keeping track of her ammo, especially since she would likely not be getting the bow this time around.
 As the last sorcerer fell to the deck, the noise died down, everyone waiting to see what would happen, why the strange newcomers had aided in the fight. Ruby, herself, did not quite know what to do as found both her sisters standing within twenty feet of each other for the first time in her life.
 Her father was the first to act, stepping out of the crowd of knights and marauders and sailors that had amassed on the deck of the Frosted ship. He stopped barely three feet away from Saccharina, close enough to touch her, but no so close that he was touching.
 "You are Saccharina Frostwhip?" he asked.
 The last time Ruby had seen Saccharina (in the flesh) she had been at the front of a banquet hall, raising a glass as she toasted to Ruby's health and to a long and prosperous reign with her at her side. She had looked so right, standing there, commanding the attention of her friends and subjects as Cinnamon curled up behind her and gave a cheerful snort to punctuate her declaration.
 There was none of that confidence and easy leadership now as Saccharina's nodded, her eyes shiny.
 Her father bowed his head, taking a moment before he looked up again. "I am Amethar Rocks, King of Candia, and your father."
 Saccharina blinked rapidly and her voice was raw as she asked, "You've come here for me?"
 "Yes," her father replied without hesitation.
 He blew out a shaky breath. "I did not know about you until one month ago, and I came as soon as I could. Your mother… I could not find her after the war, no matter how hard I tried."
 He knelt down in front of her. "I am so sorry that I could not save you, and that I could not save your mother. I am here now, asking for your forgiveness and asking for you to return to Candia with your family."
 Saccharina opened and closed her mouth for a few seconds before she threw herself down and onto their father, who scooped her up into a tight embrace.
 Ruby felt her heart warm as Saccharina shook with silent sobs in their father's arms. This was the welcome that her oldest sister deserved. She deserved a family. She deserved love. And she deserved the throne.
 The moment, however, was broken by Gooey, who crossed her arms as she ground out, "How did you find out about her if you couldn't find anything?"
 "Yeah?" Swifty asked in his grating screech. "Your story doesn't check out."
 Jet bounced forward, practically vibrating with energy. "You can thank Ruby for that. She had a vision."
 This was not news to any of the Candian delegation, but they all still looked towards her, which prompted everyone else to do the same. Even Saccharina and her father pulled apart.
 Ruby inclined her head forward, feeling Lapin's expectant gaze on her back. "I was blessed with visions of a Sundae Sorceress who could command the storms with a wave of her hand, and I was shown that she is my sister."
 Saccharina blinked at her and stood up, which prompted Jet to leap towards her.
 "Hi!" she greeted. "I'm Jet Rocks, the former Crown Princess of Candia."
 Behind her, Ruby heard Lapin sigh as Saccharina's face slackened and she drew back.
 Ruby coughed loudly and said in Twinspeak, "You sound jealous."
 Jet's eyes widened at that and she clarified. "I'm sorry, that sounded passive aggressive. I'm glad to just be a princess. Now I can pursue my true calling as a general, and take over Theo's job as Lord Commander of the Tart Guard without having to worry about the politics."
 "I can assure you Princess, my job does not come without political attachments," Theo countered right away, his voice strained. When eyes turned to him, he blushed furiously, and bowed respectfully, but didn't say anything.
 Saccharina only glanced at him before her gaze flickered to Ruby. At the silent prompting, Ruby walked up took her place at Jet's side, nodding her head respectfully before she grinned up at Saccharina.
 "I'm Princess Ruby Rocks," she introduced. "It is nice to finally meet you, sister."
 Saccharina surged forwards and enveloped them both in a hug.
 When she pulled back after a long time, Ruby saw strawberry and vanilla tears streaming down her face.
 "I always hoped that you would come," she whispered. "I dreamt of you and I saw you and I wished that I could be your sister."
 "We now you are," Jet murmured. "And I can't wait to get to know you. Ruby's told me so much about how awesome you are! We're going to have the best time back home! We can show you all the secret passageways and the way and the best way to get to the kitchens at night when everyone's gone to bed."
 Saccharina grinned at them, but then her eyes flitted past their shoulders and she drew back, her mouth setting in a grim line.
 "I would like nothing more than to go back with you," she started. "But I cannot. I have a duty to my people and I have promised to free the Frosted Lands of these terrible sorcerers who have plagued them for close to a decade."
 Her father let out a laugh. "Well of course we'll help you with that. We're not just going to leave you to fight them alone."
 Saccharina took half a step back, her eyes widening, "Truly?"
 "Unless someone has a problem with it?" their dad asked, looking around.
 None of the marauders or sailors were willing to contradict him, nor any of the knights they had brought.
 Theo bowed respectfully at his charges. "It will be good practice for the Knights of North Gumbiar. We haven't had to fight opponents like this in a long time."
 Her father laughed at that statement. "I knew you hadn't lost that fighting spirit, Theobald."
 "I'm looking forward to it!" Jet exclaimed. "I did really well in that fight. I struck my first killing blow!"
 Ruby couldn't hold back her snort. "You got hurt."
 Jet grinned at her. "But you healed me."
 Saccharina raised her chin and looked to Ruby. "Yes, that was extraordinary. Are you skilled in the arcane arts like I am?"
 "The Princess Ruby has been blessed by the Bulb above," Lapin stated stepping up to stand behind Ruby to her right. "She has been gifted the power of miracles and visions."
 Saccharina recoiled as if she had been slapped, and several of the marauders tensed around them.
 "So you'll be ordained then?" her oldest sister asked, her voice and smile now saccharine sweet.
 Ruby shook her head as she firmly replied, "No. I was gifted these powers to help serve Candia and its people. I would be wasting them in Brightgarden, where there are already enough miracle workers and paladins. The Bulb would not have blessed me so if it wanted another Primogen of the Church."
 Her father walked around and clapped Ruby on the shoulder. "Candia has already lost one princess to the Church. Citrina did not have to be ordained, she chose to be, and it is between Ruby and her faith what path she takes in life."
 Ruby grinned up at her father, resisting the urge to throw her arms around him.
 Saccharina looked at her for only a few moments longer before her expression warmed into something more genuine, most of the tension easing from her shoulders.
 "That is a relief," she said. "I would not want to gain a sister only to have her swept away by duties outside of Candia."
 Ruby inclined her head. "I would not leave my people so easily and Chancellor Lapin has been an amazing guide and teacher for me. His advice has been invaluable."
 Saccharina turned her gaze to the chocolate bunny standing just behind Ruby, looking over their dad's shoulder.
 Lapin bowed. "I have found that there are many ways that one can practice their faith to the Bulb. Everyone's path is different."
 Saccharina blinked. "That is a wise attitude."
 "And of course your followers can come back to Candia with you," Ruby interjected, steering the conversation away from the topic of faith. "There is land for them to settle in Dulcington and they can stay in the Castle whilst their homes are being built."
 Gooey grunted. "You would welcome us?"
 Ruby turned to her. "Of course I would welcome people loyal to my sister. It is hard to find good people, and the House of Rocks would be remiss in turning away those who have supported our princess whilst we cannot."
 Silence settled across everyone at her declaration for a few seconds before her father moved the conversation forward.
 "Well said, Ruby," he praised with a chuckle and a squeeze of her shoulder. "Now what's the plan from here?"
 Saccharina hesitated for a moment, obviously surprised at being differed to, but recovered quickly.
 "Your support is greatly valued," she said, even as she frowned. "But I do not think it will be enough. The sorcerers are powerful and they are numerous. However, I have heard of a place that might hold the key to success…"
 -----
 Saccharina stood at the mouth of the Frozen Bay (which was not, fact, frozen but rather made entirely of hardened ice cream and frozen yoghurt as well as a multitude of other frozen goods) as she watched the Frosted Fleet (plus one Candian ship) get ready for battle. She held the fabled Winterscoop, the Spooning Staff at her side. They had found it in the Tomb of Cold, along with the magical ballistas that were mounted on the front of all of the ships.
 She felt the bond she now had with the magical artifact and how it amplified her cold and weather powers. Now, she could feel every gust of wind, every cloud, every crunch of ice around her. She sent a silent thanks to her Aunt Lazuli for the vision that lead her to start investigating the Tomb of the last Sundae Sorceress.
 The fleet captains were hard at work, preparing for what would be the fight of their lives. Since her stint in the Great Stone Candy Moutnains and along the Candia's borders with Ceresia, she had spent a lot of time in the Frosted Lands (known to outsiders as the Unnamed Lands, thought uninhabitable to most), building her storm and weather magic. Really, it was inevitable that she would clash with enclave of sorcerers terrorising this country and attempting to wipe out the Frosted Fleet.
 It was only the Fleets swiftness and their captain's prowess that had had them survive this long, but finally, all the captains had banded underneath her and named Saccharina Storm Captain, looking to her for their salvation.
 As a child in the nunnery, abused and alone and so, so hurt, she had never thought that she would be able to do this. But now she was here, magic thrumming under her skin and strong enough to ensure that no one would make her feel powerless again.
 Saccharina was pulled from her thoughts as Gooey, Swifty and Jon Bon came to stand at her side. Her most loyal followers, and her closest advisors, for better or worse. Gooey had been with her since the orphanage, Jon Bon had helped her hide when the Church came after her for killing the nuns, and Swifty had persuaded many of the baked goods of the border to follow her.
 "Have you seen anything?" Gooey asked.
 Saccharina shook her head. "Nothing. We will be going into this battle blind."
 Honestly, it was better when she didn't have visions of battles. All she ever saw was a confusing mess of possibilities that clouded her thoughts and made her uncertain.
 "Not even about your family?"
 Saccharina stilled, her gaze flitting out and easily finding the Candian delegation.
 Her father, King Amethar, was standing with Sir Theobald as they both talked at Princess Jet, her sister. No one had liked the idea of allowing her into battle, but the princess had wisely pointed out that keeping her and her sister at the Frozen Bay would leave her vulnerable with so few guards, and take away fighting men from the battle. And she could not stay below deck in a battle, when ships were so liable to sink. So, both princesses had spent much of the last few days getting drilled in battle tactics by their father and Sir Theobald.
 The rest of the knights were readying the ship, with Lord Cruller overseeing them. Glimpsing him had Saccharina looking to the sky where Princess Ruby was performing a handstand on the railing of the crow's keep whilst Chancellor Cadbury read something to her. The princess had told Saccharina not to trust the cake, and to never be alone with him, and Saccharina had listened. She hadn't had time to hear the reasonings behind them, but she trusted the girl. She trusted her sister.
 "No," Saccharina replied. "But… I have a good feeling about them."
 She glanced at them. "This isn't me just being blind and hopeful, is it."
 The three shared one of those unreadable looks before they all fixed their eyes on her.
 Jon Bon grunted and shook his head whilst Gooey sighed.
 "They seem like good people," Gooey murmured. "If their story is true… then this changes a lot."
 Saccharina had to agree. Learning that her mother had fallen ill and died had been a complicated fact for Saccharina to digest. An illness causing her mother to become addled had never crossed Saccharina's mind. The information was both relieving yet unsatisfying and left Saccharina with a mess of emotions towards her. She had been bitter for many years about what her mother did to her, and learning one fact could not let her dispel all of it.
 But those were thoughts for other times.
 "It doesn't have to," Saccharina replied. "The Candians have offered us a place with them. All of us. If you want to stay, that is."
 "Of course we're going to stay," Gooey scoffed. "We wouldn't leave you to face the Court by yourself. Besides… I want to serve you. And I also have a good feeling about them."
 "Even Ruby?" Saccharina asked.
 All three of them tensed. None of her marauders held any love for the Bulbians.
 "Maybe especially her," Gooey admitted reluctantly. "She's hiding… something, but I don't think it will harm us."
 Saccharina hummed. "I agree."
 "I like her," Swifty declared.
 Saccharina's gaze snapped to him. "Really?"
 Swifty hated the Church above any other in her marauder band. After his parents had been trialled and sentenced for witchcraft, he had never recovered.
 "Mmhmm," the gingerbread man confirmed. "She's deadly, and she's not afraid to get her hands dirty."
 "None of the Candians are," Saccharina shot back.
 "I'm talking about a different kind of dirt, Storm-Captain."
 "How do you know?" Saccharina asked, suppressing an eye roll at the title.
 "I just do," Swifty said with a shrug. "When you're fucked up, you can tell when others are too. It's like a radar for ruthlessness."
 Saccharina looked up at her sister, who was now laughing as she jumped onto the top of one of the sails, her falcon circling above her.  She had seen her whole family in battle and new how dangerous they could be, but looking at her family, all she could feel was the warmth of her heart, finally getting what she had wished for most.
----
Go into my A Wish for a Better World tag to find the whole fic or go to it on ao3. Comments are always appreciated!
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thechocoboos · 5 years ago
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Could you do the chocobros (+Ardyn and Ravus) taking care of their significant other while she's on her period?
These hcs have been sitting in my google docs for a week now--but hey, they’re ready!!! I ended up with eight pages of headcanons so brace yourself lol; wrote these while i was suffering from the very thing i was writing about. what a life.
HC: The Bros + Ardyn and Ravus taking care of their SO on their period!
Noctis
Noct knew that periods existed, he swore that he did, but he just kinda… forgets.
So when he came home to see you dying on your couch, he was just… ??? “Uh, babe? You okay?”
“NO, Noct, I’m not o-fucking-kay--”
“Uh.”
It was only when he called Ignis that he figured out what was going on, with Ignis exasperatedly having to remind Noct that hey, people get periods!
It was a short phonecall, luckily
And it didn’t take Noct too long to get with the program
Softness increases to 110%
Mutual laziness increases to 70%
Caring for his SO increases to 2000%
He does his best--but he also kinda. Just. I dont wanna say it but he doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal until he sees you crying over cramps, then he realizes that periods suck and that you just need your stupid boyfriend to give you the love and support that you deserve
After that, he gets better!!!
“NoCT, can you please go get me my meds? And some water--”
“Can’t you do it yourself--” He always freezes, remembering how bad it can be, “Shit, sorry, babe--” He already started getting up, bringing out a bit of your favorite snack as an apology, “You know I’m an idiot.” He said when he handed you your meds and your fave candy bar
You know, and for whatever reason, you still loved him
He kinda has to learn what to do and what not to do just because he feels too unsure to ask anyone
Unfortunately, it was also through trial and error that he realized how sensitive you can sometimes be when your period is knockin’ at the front door
He found out through multiple crying sessions--and yes, it was usually his fault, but he was always insanely good about making it up to you with food, cuddles, and movie marathons
He’s the boyfriend who goes to the store for tampons and pads for you, sees the giant aisle of them, and while he isn’t embarrassed to be seen buying shit for his SO, he has absolutely no idea what to get and literally grabs the first shit he sees
And of course, you send him right back with a picture of the brand you actually like and a pad in his hand just so he can get it right the second time
Cue the mental image of Noctis comparing the pad in his hand to the color of pad packaging in stores
“They’re both green so it’s gotta be right… right???”
In summary: Noctis is a dumbass and can be a bit insensitive about periods simply because he’s really not around women or anyone who gets periods, but he really does try to remedy his ignorance and any mistakes he makes
Prompto
Prompto, too, has never really had much experience with girls or periods or people with periods and he just. He tries so hard--he really does
He gets you a new teddy bear every single time (at some point, you know you’re gonna have to tell him that he can’t keep buying you new bears, but it’s so cute that you don’t want him to stop)
He’s the one who gets sympathy pain
I promise, the second he catches wind that you’re on your period, he’s out the door trying to find your favorite of everything
If you send him to the store for pads, he comes back with one of everything and lots of tears in his eyes, “Babe--I didn’t know what you wanted so I just bought everything im sorry oh gods”
He’s the pitiful soul who blushes as he buys all the pads and tampons and looks like he’s gonna cry
He’s the one who pulls a cart full of sanitary products to the first register he sees and is crying as he looks in the clerk’s eyes and cries, “My SO is on their period i dont know what they like help me please”
Christ, he’s a mess but he’s your mess and you love him
He comes back with every single snack he knows you so much as look at
Cravings? He’s got your back.
Like, you mention this shit you want half heartedly and then he disappears for three hours and comes back with a weighted blanket, heating pad, and three bags of those weird chips you were craving
He’s always blushing and frantic, but he blushes the hardest when you ask him to lay with you and cuddle
Ofc he does it--he loves it, but the bold, straightforward way you ask has him blushing head to toes
He once caught himself wishing people got periods more often just so he could hold you like this more often--he accidentally said it out loud, and you only snuggled into his chest more and told him to shut up and hold you tighter
Prompto is a mess but he tries so, so hard just to make you comfortable and content
He once drove for twenty minutes to find your favorite candy bar (and he would do it again, no question)
When you cry bc emotions, he starts to tear up, too
He always says, “Babe, if you cry, I’ll start crying and then we’ll both be crying and I don't think either of us can handle that on an emotional level” and then you both cry anyways
He likes to sing to you when you guys cuddle, his voice is soft but husky in the perfect way that lulls you to sleep
If you fall asleep in his arms, he falls asleep, too
He’s the extra bf who goes above and beyond unnecessarily, merely because he doesn’t know how else to help you
Gladdy
Holy Behemoth Batman! One of these idiots is properly aware of periods!!!
And it’s this one. Bravo, Gladdy, bravo. Fans everywhere are cheering your name.
In all seriousness, he is aware and actually knows how to handle someone who is on their period
Iris used to get some pretty bad periods, and with their mom not around and their dad always busy, it was Gladio who had to help her out and actually explain them to her in the first place (he’s never gonna forget when Iris ran up to him one morning while crying and shouting about bloody underwear)
So, needless to say, he ain’t shy during that time of the month. In fact, he knows more tips and tricks than you do, simply because he was one hell of a big bro for Iris
Heating pads? Blankets? Snacks? Damn good brands of sanitary products? He’s got it all and you didn’t even have to ask, like holy shit
Back when you guys were just starting out your relationship, you had actually gotten your period once while at his place and when you told him you’d have to go home because you forgot your products, he was like, “Oh--hang on. You prefer pads or tampons???” and pulls out a giant basket with a lobster on it, labelled ‘Menstruation Crustacean’
He said that he liked to be prepared in case Iris was over
What an absolute legend of a bf. Like, after that, you knew you weren’t letting this fucker go.
He rubs your stomach if you’re having really bad cramps and doesn’t even have to be asked to go grab you some pain meds--it’s like he has a sixth sense or some shit
Really, really chill about periods as a whole like he’s not scared to go to the store for you and he gets the right products!!!
Sometimes, when you get so sore and crampy that you can’t move, he’ll carry you around in his arms and doesn’t complain once
Will change your bloody sheets and isn’t the slightest bit grossed out--doesn’t mind emptying the bathroom trashcan either
Similar to Prompto, he loves to hold you and hum to you. He won’t sing, but even his absent minded humming while he holds you to his chest under one arm and reads some random book lulls you to sleep with ease
Quite frankly, probably the best of the bros when it comes to periods
He’s not scared of them. He doesn’t care if it gets messy, he knows what to do, like. Shit. Fuckin’ winner over here.
Ignis
Ignis, much like everyone else, does not have that much experience with periods. Didn’t really have many folks with periods around and he’s never had a SO before
So you would think he’s a hot mess--but nO! He would nEvER
He googled and he googled and he googled and he asked coworkers (always respectfully ofc) and he googled some more
He has an arsenal of tips and tricks and guides and everything--but he does lack the hands on experience
He will help you and he will buy you everything you need and more--but there will always be the hesitation of someone who doesn’t really know what they’re doing
One time, Ignis tried to rub your belly to help with cramps, but he only succeeded in tickling you and embarrassingly had to admit he doesn’t really know where his hand should be
Ugh what a cutie pie
He’s patient and sweet and he does all these small things for you without even telling you, and when you do notice, you feel like your heart is just gonna burst and vomit affection everywhere
He’s still a little embarrassed and shy when you boldly demand cuddles, but he does it nonetheless (he fucking loves it though he will never admit to it)
He’s the SO who cleans up bloody sheets and quietly gets blood stains out of your clothes while you’re vomiting from cramps, but never, ever makes a big deal out of it and does it with the caring affection of a kind man in love
Bumps his pun game to 110% to try and make you laugh
Knows which subjects and what phrases and words to avoid to prevent your emotions from blowing up
Even if they do, he never takes rude words to heart and he always comforts you lovingly, giving you a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek
He keeps an eye on you
If you shift uncomfortably, he’s there with a heating pad
If you’re meds are wearing off, he already has more in hand
Sometimes, if you want to cuddle, you only have to look at him a certain way before he’s sighing and climbing into bed next to you, reminding you that if you were anyone else he wouldn’t go this far
He just dotes on you in the quietest ways possible
Ravus
Insensitive Dumbass Part 2
Yes, he knows people get periods. Does he care? No.
Not until he falls in love with you, at least.
Cramps? Can’t be that bad. Migraines? Just mere headaches. Aches and pains? Probably nothing. He dismisses each symptom right up until you come into his life
Because when you guys get together--he gets to see firsthand just how bad everything can get
Oh gods you’re crying from it all?? VOmitting??? HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW--
He felt like a right dick (and he should)
But he was also quick to change his tune, because the love of his life can’t suffer like this
Not while he’s around!!!
He’s quick to ask Luna what to do, and thank god at least one sibling in their family is sympathetic and not a mess and a fucking half otherwise he’d be doing things through trial and error (not that he didn’t, even with the help)
He does everything by the written list Luna had given him (she knew he wasn’t gonna remember everything), even years after you two got together (he likes to use it as a benchmark of sorts to know when he’s doing everything you need)
The first few times you had sent him to the store because you ran out of supplies, he had absolutely no idea what to get and any poor employees who tried to help him earned the most aggressive, hostile glare he could muster
He ends up calling Luna, too, because how is he supposed to call you and tell you that he doesn’t know what to get??? And have you think he’s incapable??? NO! He was gonna be the best bf and get exactly what you fucking needed or so help him--
He’s just very aggressively in love. Little bit of a dick but he changes and grows as a person into the kinda man we can all love and support and who will love and support us right back!!!
He does his best but he doesn’t want to seem incapable of being helpful
Likes to remind you when your medicine is supposed to wear out so he can show that he’s some use
Anytime he gives you a massage or rubs your back or smth, he’s always giving you nervous, uncertain glances just to make sure you’re content or that he’s helping
Always giving you nervous glances just to check that you’re okay (he really loves you, he’s just not sure how to show it)
Lots of hugs and kisses but he’s embarrassed about all the skinship when you want cuddles (don’t get him wrong, he really, really loves it; he’s just… not sure what to do with all these feelings)
He learns how to be a supportive, wonderful SO when you’re on your period and maybe one day he might actually remember your favorite brand (but don’t get your hopes up too much at that)
Ardyn
Back in Ardyn’s day, periods weren’t exactly talked about, so the first few times you mentioned them, he was absolutely flabbergasted that you would blatantly talk about something that was considered so private
If he hadn’t been a healer, he wouldn’t have known near as much about them as he did
But even as a healer, periods were still something considered a woman’s subject and were usually left for women healers and mothers to handle so he could rarely do much
But then--Ardyn had to get pretty fuckin’ used to periods because you were pretty much out of commission when your “aunt irma” came to visit
First couple times you got your period while with Ardyn, they weren’t so bad, but then they went right back to their normal symptoms
When Ardyn came home to see you curled up in a ball, clutching your abdomen and trying to just keep your eyes shut to block out the light, he had thought you were terribly, terribly sick
“Darling--what’s wrong? What happened--” He was genuinely concerned and worried, his brow furrowed and mouth drawn in a worried frown. He hadn’t realized that your periods were so debilitating, so to see you like this, he had thought something even worse had happened
You only managed a groan when you tried to talk, and that only made him rush over even more, trying to lift your arms to see where you were injured, “Darling, please--”
“‘M fine,” you tried to say, “It’s just--fuck,” You hissed as a particularly bad cramp came your way, “--fine, jus’, that time of the month.” You wheezed, laying your head back down on your pillow
And that was when Ardyn realized just how terrible the symptoms could be
He was a worried man. Absurdly worried actually, and sometimes it made you want to laugh if everything didn’t hurt so badly
Ardyn was the kind of man to do absolutely anything and everything for his love, so that’s what he did
You never had to leave the bed for anything unless you really wanted to
Ardyn would deliver your pain meds on the clock, always accompanied by the most ridiculously jeweled goblet he could find (he was always one to be amusingly over the top and treat you like a queen, but his dramatics always cheered you up)
He was usually by your side unless you requested some alone time, and then he would respectfully kiss your forehead, say “Of course, darling. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call--I am always at your disposal,” and close the door quietly as he left
Otherwise, he would be laying in bed with you, one arm wrapped around your shoulder and the other holding some old book or resting across his stomach as he took a nap beside you
He would give you massages wherever you ached and he would provide herbal remedies from back in his day that were pretty good at relieving aches and pains
Ardyn’s innuendos and teasings would go on the back burner during this time--unless you instigated it
If you didn’t, he might tease you here and there, but always the tiniest, most light hearted things and it was always said in the softest teasing tones
All your feelings are valid to him, hormonal or otherwise, and he will listen to every word you say as though they were your last
Yes, you were usually treated like royalty by him, but it somehow increased exponentially when that time of the month arrived
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ferbiederbie · 4 years ago
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"I do not need an assistant!" Basil Cross forces out the words as roughly as he can manage without actually yelling, because he's been told to keep a handle on his temper when communicating with others, and he's on thin enough ice as it is. "This is entirely unnecessary."
"Unfortunately, Masterdroid," says Jen, his liaison with the Worldwide Federation of Supervillainy, though she's really more like an agent to an actor, most of the time. Or a handler, something which Basil has always despised, almost as much as the ridiculous "villain title" he's been given. "It really isn't up to you. It's already been decided."
"This is ludicrous," he says. The robotic crustacean sitting on the kitchen counter preparing dinner snaps it's claws in irritation, the screen on his front displaying an angry pixelated face; Security Crab is responding to his emotions, as all of his creations tend to and, in a show of anger, begins to clip baby carrots at an alarming speed. Basil ignores him, for the moment. "I've never even applied for the program. I don't want an assistant here. I don't need one. They'll just be in the way!"
"I understand," drones Jen, though there's absolutely no way she does. "But it's done. Look, it's good for PR, at the very least, and I'd think you'd be grateful for the help, considering... recent events." he can hear her drumming her fingernails on her desk. "By our estimate, nearly ninety percent of your current supply of robodroids were destroyed in your last performance. Coupling that with the damage to your body from Queen Lion..."
Basil sneers. "'Robodroids' is an asinine thing to call them." he says, not for the first time. "And she had no reason to break my arm." he grinds his teeth. "Excessive force is against the rules, or so I recall."
"Masterdroid," says his liaison, very slowly, "You blew up three buildings and stole over a million dollars in tech. None of that was according to script. The Federation isn't happy about it, you know that."
Basil sniffs. "...the buildings were an accident," he tells her, quietly.
"So you've said."
"And I thought the additional larceny would... add to the drama."
"There are scripts for a reason, Masterdroid. Innocent people were hurt." she's losing patience, he can tell.
"None of them died," he grumbles, even though he knows it's a losing battle at this point.
He sighs, holding his phone between his cheek and shoulder so he can push a hand through his hair. "I do not want an assistant, Jen. I despise other people. Having that much social contact with another human is a nauseating prospect."
"You can't claim agoraphobia for everything." Jen sounds tired. "It should be fine. You have plenty of space in your lair,"
"I've asked you not to call it that."
"Laboratory, whatever. Plenty of room, without your little armada. Not to mention the four extra rooms in the townhouse itself. You might not ever even see her." Jen pauses. "And, from what I understand, she's a metahuman too. With a penchant for tech. I'm sure you'll enjoy her company."
"I don't enjoy anyone's company." Basil snaps.
"Masterdroid," she sighs, "Bas, I'm doing what I can for you, but you aren't making it easy, alright? You could be facing serious legal charges right now. It was either that, or you bending to the Federation for a little while, and they wanted you to take on an assistant."
"A spy, more accurately, I'm sure." he sneers. "Someone who can keep an eye on me."
"Yes, well, I figured you'd prefer it, considering how crowded the meta-jails can be."
He says nothing, because she's right, but he doesn't want to say it. He doesn't want to go to jail. He doesn't want to pay any legal fees, either, and he has lost more than the average amount of robots lately. As a matter of fact, Security Crab is the only one he has left who's currently operational, and his size makes his abilities... limited.
Although he is really going to town on the vegetables.
But the idea of anyone in his home, walking around, touching things... speaking to him...
He sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose. "When does she arrive?" he asks, at length.
"Should be soon. Maybe an hour." Jen says.
The doorbell rings, loud enough that she can hear it through the phone. Security Crab leaves the celery he has been decimating to raise his claws and chime with alarm. His screen flashes an exclamation point; he snaps at Basil to alert him, as if the doorbell hasn't done the work already.
"Or now," Jen amends. "She could be there now. Go let her in. Call me later." and the line drops.
Basil sighs. He puts his phone down on the counter, slowly and methodically-- it's his fifth one in the last three months, he isn't sure if he'll be issued another replacement if he breaks it-- and tries very hard not to lose his temper. Easier said than done; he's always been something of a hothead.
A real firecracker, says his memory, in a voice not his own. No wonder you're so dangerous!
The doorbell rings again, then again. He shakes his head, sighs, and looks down at Security Crab. "...leave the food for now." he says, extending a hand. "Come." the robotic crab scuttles forward into his palm, and Basil places him on his shoulder, then turns and heads towards the front door.
He takes his time, pondering as he goes; why would the Federation choose to send him an assistant? He's certain it must be so that they can keep a closer eye on him, but surely there are easier ways of doing so? A strange reaction to something that was an accident, all told. Well-- something he claims was an accident.
He hadn't meant to take all three buildings down at once, of course. One would have been sufficient to keep Queen Lion occupied-- the explosives had simply been more powerful than he had anticipated, an oversight he doesn't plan to repeat. The things he'd stolen had been mostly worthless to him, too, and he'd returned it all without a fuss, as expected.
But the data which Security Crab had managed to download, during the ruckus? That in itself was near priceless, for his means.
The doorbell rings again and, as Basil nears the foyer, he hears knocking to accompany it. His eyes narrow; whoever this assistant is, they're incredibly impatient. He quickens his pace. "Enough knocking," he calls, irritably. "I'm here." he reaches out to unlock the door, and then opens it, squinting at the daylight which flows in.
A young woman stands on his front steps, her fist half-raised for another knock. She's short, he notes-- although it might just be that he's very tall-- and she has hair as pink as cotton candy, which seems out of place when set against her Federation uniform, or the name-tag that's hanging from a lanyard, which is covered in so many stickers of excited cartoon characters he cannot make out her name. She’s chewing gum, too, which treads on his nerves immediately. She stares up at him with wide grey eyes, taking him in.
He isn't certain what he expects-- fear, or perhaps awe. Surprise, maybe. He is not the most infamous supervillain in the world, but he is, at least, recognizable to the average citizen. Most people find him unappealing to see, at the very least-- tall, thin, with pale skin marred in odd, discolored patches down his arms and on his neck and jaw, and with the strange circuit-patterns that line his body like veins. He's aware he can be intimidating to look at, and that has always worked in his favor, because he dislikes others.
But the woman does not shrink away, or flinch, or gasp. Instead, she blows a bubble with the gum she's chewing, pops it, and then smiles at him, wider and more excited than he's seen in a long time. She nearly bounces in place when she sticks out her hand. "Hiya!" she greets. Her voice could be accurately described as grating. "I'm Edie! Pleased to meetcha, boss!"
Basil grimaces. This, he thinks, is not going to be easy.
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muthaz-rapapa · 5 years ago
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StarPre: Zodiac Forms
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Now that I’ve got the good quality official art, c’mon, did anyone seriously think I would not ramble about the zodiac forms in another long post? :P lol
Crap, I should be studying my Japanese since I’m traveling to Tokyo next week (GONNA GO VISIT THE PRECURE STORE, WOOOOT~!) but I want to get this post out first cuz I know I won’t have time or internet access to do it later.
So let’s do this!
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Taurus form – BRAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSS
8D
This one I like best out of Star’s two forms (but Pisces is awesome too!) for that reason but I also love how they changed her short tutu-style skirt into an asymmetric, flowing one. And that cow pattern is to die for~! <3
The butterfly earrings and horns are a very nice touch as well! *chef’s kiss*
Pisces form – I can’t explain why or how Hikaru pulls off the mermaid look so well…but she just does, okay?
Maybe it’s the twintails.
Anyways, super cute! Adding a touch of blue and deep magenta to the overall light pink theme really makes her look more tropical.
Then there are the sea accessories and ugh! Sometimes when I look at this, I’m reminded of Mermaid Melody except the way Star is designed here looks a lot more fun.
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Before I get into this, I just want to say that we can now celebrate Lala’s bubble shorts blooming into space dresses! Aaaaaahhh~ <D
Leo form – Y’know when I saw Lala go “RAWR!” in the movie trailer, I was like “This is it, if this is the last thing I see, I’ll be happy I lived”, hahaha!
Lion imagery is just so cool, y’know? (as Gelato can testify)
The wild hair, the crown.
Yeap. This pretty much confirms it. Lala is Space Queen. ;D
Cancer form – I’m simultaneously gushing over her crab hair, how much I love this shade of yellow green and giggling mad that she resembles a jellyfish more than a crustacean. xDD
*sigh* Really, I think Lala’s forms turned out the best. They faithfully captured the aesthetics of the Star Princesses while retaining Milky’s original design and without making it overly gaudy, too.
Lala, you are perfect! <3
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Libra form – Normally, I would say that’s too crazy for even crazy magical girl hair but then I remember Felice’s Alexandrite form and how extra that was in all its Mother Nature floral glory…
…and I just shut my trap.
Still, it seems like Libra form had the least effort put into it.
I mean, yea, they moved some colors around (more like seeped the orange into the ombre of Soleil’s hair) and extended the reaches of her dress but it’s practically the same thing save for Libra’s hairdo…which looks more like a wig she put on that anything.
That’s just it. The dual cornucopia there catches your attention right away on how…fake it looks that it’s as if the rest don’t matter as much. Which is sad cuz the Libra Star Princess is perhaps one of the best Star Princesses based on what little personality we did get from each of them. And I just wanted to see something more creative for her form, that’s all. :(
Maybe it’ll look better in motion? We’ll just have to see if that happens in the movie. As of right now, this still picture isn’t really helping my impression of it.
Scorpio form – Much better. Absolutely adore the slimmer cut and my, does Elena look downright gorgeous with a ponytail! <D
I’m always reading about how “full of passion” Scorpios are and while I don’t let those descriptions get in the way of appreciating their characters, have to admit that “passion” was the first word that came to my mind when I saw Soleil in this form.
She literally looks like a goddess of sunsets. Beautiful.
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Capricorn form – Still not sure if I’m the type of person who favors something just because I so happen to share a quality or trait with that one certain aspect of a character…
And I freely admit that the Capricorn form is not the best of bunch (though it’s definitely not the worst)…
…but it looks unarguably lovely regardless and I love it with all my heart because me is a Capricorn, after all~ <3
The tiny hearts themselves may be a bit much but it’s part of Capricorn Star Princess’s design so honestly, I have zero problem with it. They’re adorable~
Then I kinda squealed because Selene traded her umbrella/lamp shade skirt for a fancy bed canopy! LOL xDD
But most of all, it’s simply wonderful to see Madoka with wavy hair (AGAIN WITH THE HAIR!). Ooooo, gotta love that transition from light purple to fuchsia! X3
Like I said before, they made the Cures’ respective color schemes and the Star Princesses’ color schemes quite compatible. But that’s a given since they’re within close range of each other anyway.
Sagittarius form – Ok, I may have said Lala’s forms looked the best but I believe the Sagittarius form alone can blow everyone else’s out of the sky.
I mean, look at her! Isn’t she friggin’ STUNNING?!
The long side pony tail (*SCREAMS*), the mature vibe the long gown gives off and most of all, MADOKA HOLDING AN ACTUAL BOW AND ARROW AND LOOKING LIKE A WARRIOR MAIDEN DESCENDING FROM THE HEAVENS TO PURGE THE EVIL FROM THIS WRETCH WORLD!!
HAAAAAA……I dunno why I get so emotional over form changes, I just do.
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Alright, first things first. This is not the place for me to spill my grievances about Cosmos in general so rest assured, I won’t do that. But I am allowed to say one thing.
Toei. I don’t understand your incomplete logic.
Cure Cosmos is a rainbow Cure. You either give her all twelve differently colored forms or you give her none at all.
Seriously, it makes no sense that she gets four zodiac forms, leaving the other girls with only two when we could have had:
1) the original starters with three zodiac forms each
2) Cosmos with either twelve (because SHE’S THE CURE OF EFFIN’ RAINBOWS!!) or one exceptionally glorified rainbow super form (with seven cat tails because RAINBOWS!!)
This is less about midseason Cure privilege (which Cosmos has heaps of) or the fact that they won’t be able to fit so many forms in an hour long special (it’s movie budget so piss off!) and more about not doing your math right to get the best, maximum output! xP
*sigh* Ok, petty raging done (for now). Moving along…
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Aries form – As some of you may know, I’m not a fan of Cosmos’ rainbow skirt but I find I can easily overlook that (along with the cat ears, the flat top hat décor, the weird braids and the dorito clips) to appreciate the full picture.
And the Aries form may just be my most favorite out of Cosmos’ forms. Since Aries is the ram constellation, the white wool trim looks appropriate, especially against the crimson of her outfit. Frankly, I think Cosmos looks better in this red design than her normal blue-rainbow Cure form.
Then there���s the poofy (kyaa~!) hair that just acts so well as a backdrop to the ram horns.
Mm, yes, definitely my favorite. *nod nod*
Gemini form – Again, where the fuck were you when Met Gala was happening this year?!
Like, this would not only fit right in with the camp theme but could’ve won best dressed that night!
The only thing I’d consider getting rid of is the rainbow but then it’d probably look less campy so maybe not.
Anyways, I was the least fond of this form when I first saw it but the more I look at it, the more I’m learning to like it…??
The red cape (and cherry earrings) provides a sharp contrast to all the green going on, too.
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Virgo form – Azure blue complements light pink and white in a very angelic sort of way. Pretty~
Cosmos’ hair also looks delightfully charming when it’s curled and has a flower decoration in it.
…That’s all I have to say, really.
Oh no, wait.
It’s extremely odd to me that Cosmos gets two zodiac forms that correspond to other Cures’ birthday signs and she doesn’t even get the form of her own birthday sign.
Hikaru’s is Aries and Elena’s is Virgo. Look who got those forms.
Yuni’s sign is Libra. That form went to Soleil instead.
…WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! >:/
Aquarius form – Is it just me or do the rainbow pleats actually work here?
We’re dealing with water and the droplet beads attached to the ends really reminds me of the rain so that’s probably why.
Cosmos’ hair also looks mega good in waves, too.
And the stars~! Exquisite!
On another note, again she always comes as a strange package because if cats in general hate water, then pairing Cosmos up with Aquarius is the biggest mismatch of them all, them both having a blue theme be damned. xD;
~~~~~
*SIGH* Finished!
…Or not. One last thing. There’s always one last thing.
It’s just a real shame that these forms are exclusive to the movie. I mean, I know we all have our opinions on whether or not Form Changes are actually useful in the tv series (I don’t care, I just like looking at them and that’s reason enough for me)…
But the stock footage was severely underwhelming for StarPre so having these in the show may have done some good to alleviate that feeling.
Also, the Zodiac forms have a much closer relation to the space motif than the Twinkle forms do. Seriously, the most noticeable things about the Twinkle forms are the tiaras and it’s weird because we already have the Star Princesses. So WHY do we need to put tiaras on the Cures? They’re not aiming to become princesses themselves, they’re channeling the powers of the stars (aka the Zodiac princesses!) so they should take on appearance respective of the star signs!
Again, I really don’t understand Toei logic.
……AND ONE MORE THING! OMGODD
Is there anyone out there who tried to draw what the first four Cures would look like in the forms that went to Cosmos? And if there is, may I see them? Please, pretty pretty please please please?!?!?
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kazushuu · 5 years ago
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Do not reblog, just repost
TAGGED BY: xx TAGGING: anyone who wants to do it...!
NAME: Iwamine Shuu /  岩峰舟 NICKNAME: Iwameanie (by everyone), Iwa (by Hitori Uzune), Shuuuuu (by Kazuaki Nanaki), Isa Souma (by Tohri Nishikikouji), Wallenstein (by Anghel Higure) GENDER:  ♂ AGE: 26 DATE OF BIRTH: december 12, 2161 OCCUPATION: school doctor, prosecutor, forensic pathologist, biochemist, researcher.
██▒   APPEARANCE
EYE COLOR: violet (lavender? for majority of this blog it was indigo) HAIR COLOR: brunet HEIGHT: 5'6" / 167cm SCARS: random small accidental scars from dealing with blades and paper. BURNS: covering practically the entirety of his back, right shoulder, and some lesser ‘splatters’ of that on the abdomen and right thigh. OVERWEIGHT: no UNDERWEIGHT: just a tiny little bit.
██▒   FAVORITE
COLOR: red ANIMAL/S: crustaceans MOVIE/S: he can sit through every film and follow the plot, even if it’s dull to him. he only enjoys documentaries. TV SHOW: -- FOOD: fluctuates. currently grilled salmon. DRINK: coffee (adding milk and sugar is a waste of 30 seconds. but he does enjoy it with cream.) BOOK: criminal files and studies
██▒   HAVE THEY
PASSED UNIVERSITY: never attended. but the hawks constructed ‘illegitimate’ documents for him anyway, because his intelligence was definitely enough. so yesn’t. HAD SEX: no HAD SEX IN PUBLIC: no GOTTEN PREGNANT: no KISSED A BOY: yes KISSED A GIRL: no GOTTEN TATTOOS: no GOTTEN PIERCINGS: no HAD A BROKEN HEART: Oho yeah babey BEEN IN LOVE: yes STAYED UP FOR MORE THAN 24 HOURS: you are like a little baby. watch this. 48 hours.
██▒   ARE THEY
A VIRGIN: yes A KISSER: “is that a thing? a title/status like ‘virgin’? or an occupation? a hobby? just say ‘have you kissed before’; yes, in an appropriate and acceptable amount. but I won’t appear in the guinness world record for this one.” SCARED EASILY: no JEALOUS EASILY: maybe TRUSTWORTHY: depends on who you are DOMINANT: oh yes SUBMISSIVE: Oh Yes IN LOVE: yes SINGLE: nope. even though his monkey brain still doesn’t know if he should announce it straight up. kazuaki nanaki is his boyfriend.
██▒   RANDOM QUESTIONS
HAVE THEY HARMED THEMSELVES: self naglect, so, yes. THOUGHT OF SUICIDE: yes ATTEMPTED SUICIDE: very WANTED TO KILL SOMEONE: yeah. then went “oh man. nevermind.” after the murder. DROVE A CAR: yes, but for his own safety, more times than not uses taxis and public transport. HAVE/HAD A JOB: yes HAVE ANY FEARS: oho yeah babey
██▒   FAMILY
SIBLINGS: no PARENTS: Ichijou ///// and Ichijou //////, deceased
CHILDREN: absolutely not PETS: sometimes keeps small animals as test subjects for his medicine and research... but of course that doesn’t last long, and they only receive codenames.
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sduswdnd · 5 years ago
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Campaign 1 Part 3
From part 2
When last we left our adventurers, they’d delivered their wagon of crap and explored the town.  They were told that an old 90s band were terrorizing the masses and decided to help.  They also were recruited into three other money making schemes and were asked to help Orlando Bloom find the man that ghosted him on Druidr.  After scoping out the hideout, they decide to enter it under disguise.  After freeing prisoners, they encounter the Rancor, who just wants to run away.  They spot a cracked out rat and follow it to the missing wizard, Knowing he’d been found out, he starts to spill his guts about the whole crafty tale.  He and a guy named the Black Spider, who wanted to steal the Wokscraper brothers’ timeshare.  They finish looting- I mean clearing the ruins before heading back to town.  
Part 3
“Hello!  Hello?  Is it over yet?”  Korrin comes wandering in with a full flask of whiskey and a five-foot frozen lemonade.  “Hello?”  He wanders into the ruins, looking around.  He spots a body in the crevasse.  “Hope I didn’t know that guy…”
“You didn’t.”  Baze stows his blades and looks down at the body.  He notices something sparkly down in the darkness and says, “Shiny!” and jumps down into the crevasse.  
Silvan says, “Shiny?” and jumps in too.
Korrin starts to say, “Maybe check forrr not…”
“Hey guys!  It’s a shiny!  And it’s stuck in the wall!”
Gerrol looks at the rancor (whose name is Roger).  “Well, you’ve seen these guys.  They’re gonna go ‘Link’ on this whole place and crack open everything that moves.”
Roger says, “No, I’ll never get my security deposit back.  Just take what you want, but get the hell out!”
Teiris looks around, noticing a censor bar near Iarno’s quarters.  “Hey, what’s behind here?
Korrin touches his holy symbol, then moves his hands, drawing mysterious sigils in the air.  The gold glyphs shimmer in the cold air then flash, seeking the obscured area, fluttering as the energy charges and darts into the darkness, then back to Korrin, circling him before compacting together, then exploding like tiny fireworks.    
Korrin looks at Teiris.  “Porn.”
Capt looks around wizard quarters, puts her right hand in the boxes, pulls her right hand out, puts her right hand in and shakes it all about.  The rest of the group is compelled by copyright to do the hokey pokey and turn themselves about.  
Because that is actually what it’s all about.
“Found some sparkly things!
Baze looks at the sparklies, and a strange look comes over him.  “A glassy, translucent stone, Carnelian is an orange-colored variety of Chalcedony, a mineral of the Quartz family. Its color varies from pale pinkish-orange to a deep rusty brown, though it is most known for its brilliant orange and red-orange crystals. Its name comes from a Latin word meaning "flesh."  In antiquity, as well as today, Carnelian is believed to help timid speakers become both eloquent and bold. Ancient Warriors wore Carnelian around their neck for courage and physical power to conquer their enemies.”
“So you’re saying they’re valuable?”
“Dibs!”
The last loot box is found and opened, and back to town they go.
~~~~****~~~~
Silvanhost and Gerrol drag Iarno to the town hall, leading the rest of the group.  Sildar looks up, shock and surprise on his face.  “You’re alive…” he breathes softly.
Iarno looks sheepishly at Sildar.  “Hey, bae…”
Sildar struts up to him and, with a silver gauntleted hand, strikes him, yelling as he strikes:
“WHO (SLAP) THE FUCK (SLAP) ARE YOU (SLAP) TO GHOST (SLAP) ME, BITCH (SLAP)!”
Mirea and Teiris snap in Z formation.  “UM HMM!”
Sil and Gerrol hiss, “Daaaaaammmnnnn…”
Sildar grabs his collar and starts to drag him off.  Iarno starts to stammer, “Bae, I can explain…”
Sildar cuts him off.  “Don’t you ‘bae’ me.  I found your Druidr profile, Mister Glasscock.  Ain’t nothin needs explainin…”
Sildar then looks at our heroes.  “This fool has a lot to answer for.  I have to take him back to his homies, but we still need to find Clockwatcher.  I can tell you he was taken by this idiot and a Drow called the Black Spider.  If you wait for me to take care of him, I can help you get Rackstuffer.”
Our heroes look at each other.  Maik and Baze fistbump.  “It’s whiskey and wench time!”
~~~~~***~~~~~
The next morning, our heroes check their messages with the front desk clerk.  Mirea had to get her armor mended.   She threatens bodily harm if we storm the castle without her.
Traxion pulled a muscle posing for AQ.  He’d be laid up for a few days but wanted to get his headshots done at the castle too, so don’t leave without him.
The group gathered up in the common room for breakfast.  “So, no Pockmarker today.”
“No Sockwalker.”
“So whaddayawannado?”
“Didn’t those folks that we rescued offer us cash or something?”   The group stare at each other, then scramble out of the inn.
Several minutes later, they’re in front of Nards’ home.
[Editor’s note:   Nards?]
[Author’s note:  That’s what the notes say.]
[Editor’s note:   Did they hate their kid?]
[Author’s note:  eh]
In front of the home, the young man comes to the door.  “Oh, no, we didn’t actually have any money, but if you check out our storage unit, you can have whatever looks good.  I think there was some jewelry and stuff.”  Discouraged, they leave. 
Back at the inn, everyone is draped all over the common room.  
“BORED….” says Gerrol.
“We told them we’d wait to storm the castle.”
Maik repeats, “BORED…”
Korrin looks up from sharpening his blades.  “Weren’t there orcs we were supposed to beat up?”
Everyone looks at Korrin, then to each other, then scramble out the door.
~~~*~~~~
Our heroes head east for several hours.  
“Are we there yet?”
Korrin hisses, “If you don’t stop, so help me I’ll turn this party around.”
Baze looks around and points.  “Do trees grow sideways?”
They all look at him, then to the area he’s pointing to.  There were trampled trees, dried grass, and a large green screen.  
“That doesn’t look suspicious at all,” says Gerrol.  “But let’s poke it with a stick.”  He and Baze make their way to the screen and poke at it.  It falls over, revealing a small cave opening.  “Hey guys…”
Suddenly, somewhere, the battle music starts.  
They discover a lone orc at a watch post.  Baze quickly dashes behind a nearby sunflower.  “Stealth!” he shouts at the orc, who spots him, confused.  Its confusion was more than enough to give Baze a moment to take it out.   He ded.  They hide the body under the green screen and enter the cave.  
Heading into the cave, they realize caves are dark.  “Who has dark vision?”  Three of them raise their hands.  “Cool,” Baze says, attaching an LED lantern to his head, effectively blinding the other three.  Deeper into the cave, they came across another familiar scent. 
[Editor’s note:  Waffles again?]
[Author’s note:  That’s what it says.]
[Editor’s note: Is this going to be a thing?]
The scent of waffles filled the air as they round the corner.  The brunch bar was in full swing.  Several orcs were in line for fresh waffles, while others loaded up on the free mimosas.  Two orcs see new arrivals and break away from the line. 
“Hey, you!  This is for card holders only.  Did you show your players club card at the door?”
Gerrol pats his clothes.  “Yes, I have it right… HERE!” he says as he shanks the first orc and joins the one-shot club.
The second orc looks yells, “Hey, I don’t think you guys are members!”  
Baze yells, “Stealth!” and hides behind the yogurt machine.  He then dashes out, slips on the spilled sprinkles and misses his strike.
Silvenhost comes up and yells, “No cuts!” as he slices the orc once, twice, three and down.
Another orc comes up to the yogurt machine, angry that it wasn’t working.  He turns his anger to our heroes.  Cap responds with an arrow.  Teiris tries to help, but breaks her bowstring.  Maik casts entangle, and ties up the rest of the orcs charging them.  
The two floor bosses come up, one of them a large one with a nametag reading “Axebiter-Manager.”  Korrin charges the manager, but gets hurt in the process.  He says he’s gonna heal himself.  Silvenhost whispers, “Touch yourself… slowly.”  They both recover hit points.
Teiris notices orcs going to the buffet with dirty plates.  She yells, “YOU NEED TO USE A CLEAN PLATE EVERY TIME YOU RETURN TO THE BUFFET, YOU BLOUSE WEARING POODLE WALKERS!”  The orcs in the area are stunned and embarrassed, shuffling away.
Maik preps to attack but hears Korrin moaning behind the party.  He goes to heal him, “You may feel some discomfort…”
“That’s what she said!”
Silvan and Teiris notice one orc trying to call security.  They intercept him.  Teiris breaks another bowstring.  Silvan snorts at her, then strikes the orc, taking him out. 
Finally, it’s just our heroes and the manager.  Axebiter starts swinging wild.  Cap and Silvanhost keep swinging at him.  Teiris tries to diffuse the situation with a joke:
“What’s the difference between a dirty trolley stop and a lobster with breast implants?  One's a crusty bus station, and the other's a busty crustacean.”
** crickets **
“You guys suck!”
The battle continues.  Everyone flails ridiculously, setting the salad bar on fire and destroying the yogurt machine, and but finally the battle is won.  Silvan lops the head off the last orc and ties it to his belt.
“That’s a bold fashion statement.”  Silvan twirls, then smiles.
They get back to the mayor, and the orc head gets tossed to the floor.  The Mayor screams,  tosses his cookies, and passes out.  When he awakes to everyone staring at him.
“Please don’t tell anyone I passed out, and I’ll give you 400 gold instead of 200…”
They all agree and head to the pub.  Cap gets sauced and says, “Bard!  Entertain us with a song!”
Teiris is happy to comply:
How does a bastard, orphan son of a human  and an elf, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot by the imperium By providence, impoverished, in squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar?
With ten gold he set out, leaving his father, got a lot stronger by working a lot harder, by being a lot smarter By being a self-starter, then Rockseeker placed him in charge of an escort charter
And everyday while gold was being taken and carted away Across the fields, he struggled and kept his guard up Inside he was longing for something to be a part of The brother was ready to beg, steal, borrow or barter
Then a zaratan came, and devastation reigned Our man saw his future drip, dripping down the drain Put his sword in his satchel, connected his belt around And he killed his enemy, the ones that could be found Well the word got around, they said "This dude is insane, man!" Took up a collection just to send him to the main man "Get your education, don't forget from whence you came And the world's gonna know your name. What's your name man?"
Traxion the Paladin My name is Traxion the Paladin And there's a million things I haven't done But just you wait, just you wait…
And the pub goes wild.  
The next morning, they go shopping.  Maik finds a mysterious set of runestones and is drawn to touch them.
“Dude, if you touch them, you have to rub them.”
Maik backs away.
Somewhere, the Ghostbuster theme starts.  They head off to see the banshee.
On the road, an unusual feeling comes over the group.  They look out and see four wolves coming closer.  
Maik says, “I got this.”  He turns into a wolf, sits down and starts licking himself.  
“Now is not the time!” yells Cap.
Maik whines then goes to one of the wolves. They start sniffing each other, making friends.  The second wolf doesn’t want to feel left out and wanders over, joining the sniffing parade.  
Teiris shakes her head and casting Thaumaturgy, causes a small earthquake, scaring off the other two wolves and lowering property values on the coast.  Yay!  No blood, no report!
Off to Aggies!  Maik starts running, dodging Silvanhost’s attempt to hop on his back.  He does allow Baze to hop on and away they go.
[Editor’s note: What’s with Baze always wanting to ride Maik?]
Cap yells, “Don’t kill anything until we get there!”
Soon, they get to Aggies.  Baze wanders inside, begins getting hosed by the spirit.  Silvanhost cuts in, speaking in Elvish.  Gerrol starts translating for the group:
Silvanhost:  So… you come here often?
Aggie:  giggles in Elvish
Silvanhost:  (holds out comb)  I think you left this on my bedroom floor last time…
Aggie:  giggles more in Elvish
This goes on a few minutes longer, and they get the location of the book the sister needs.  Back to the town they go!
[Editor’s note: Well, that was anticlimactic.]
[Author’s Note: Yeah, but to be honest, if they had to fight a ghost, it would probably be a TPK.]
[Editor’s note:  That’s fair.]
Back in town, Teiris, Silvanhost, and Gerrol return to the temple.  The Sister bustles up excitedly.  
“Did you get it?” she asks.
 “Yep…”
She jumps with glee.  “Thank you so much, have some red bull!”  She eyes them carefully.  “Have you ever considered Scien… I mean the Harpers…”
Next up:  All together now…
1 note · View note
angioponder · 6 years ago
Text
to: where you are
Fandom: BTS Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok (namseokgi) Genre/Warnings: fluff  Word count: 1049w
author’s note:  also on AO3 (@angioponder) i just wanted to write yoongi in hoseok's lap gdi. and sappy namseok. this is all courtesy of a lovely dream I had couple nights ago. so here, have at it.
special thanks to eri for being my beta :D
“Yoongi wait—”
Namjoon watched his normally lethargic mechanical engineer bolt through the sliding metallic doors, no doubt headed for the shuttle bay's non-civilian sector of the capital starship they had just landed in.
He honestly couldn’t find it in himself to blame him. After all, he was right on his tail, breaking into a squishy jog with his heart in his throat.
“Yoongi?” Hoseok paused in the act of unloading the cargo of his cruiser. “I thought you were still in—oof!”
There was a loud crash followed by muffled shrieks that had Namjoon worried enough to quicken his pace, leaving more puddles in his wake. But then he rounded the corner, and his shoulders sank with relief. He knew there was nothing to be worried about when he was greeted by the lovely sight of Hoseok with a lapful of Yoongi.
“Couldn't wait.” The sentiment barely left Yoongi's mouth as he rushed to wrap his arms behind Hoseok’s neck for a deep, long awaited kiss.
“I see that,” Hoseok said after finally pulling away to catch his breath, chuckling as he saw Yoongi's body leaning forward to chase him with his eyes still closed. He was about to indulge him with another kiss when he saw Namjoon resting his weight against the threshold, watching their little reunion fondly.
Yoongi started wriggling in his lap, clearly unhappy from their lips disconnecting, then very reluctantly opted to nuzzle his small button nose into his neck for the time being.
“Can you believe he barrelled straight into me? I didn't even know he had the energy!” Hoseok pouted petulantly at Namjoon. Contrary to his complaint, his grip on Yoongi's waist didn't loosen. “Knocked the air out of my lungs and now he's crushing me. Help me out here, doc.”
“Sorry, babe.” Namjoon crossed his arms, his dimples peeking out at Hoseok's over dramatic whining. “You’re too human for me. M'not that kind of doctor.”
“What the…” Hoseok took a proper look at what Namjoon was wearing. “Did you seriously run over here with all of that still on?” He gestured up and down his dripping wet rubber overalls. This told Hoseok that Namjoon had quite possibly been in the middle of feeding his endangered crustaceans before coming to meet him. Then he gasped, turning to Yoongi. “Did you guys abandon Betsy?”
“Couldn’t wait,” Namjoon shrugged his shoulders in reply. “And ‘sides, I trust Yoongi's meticulousness wouldn't jeopardize our marine sanctuary. He wouldn’t leave ol’ Betsy without double checking everything…I think.”
Yoongi glared at him in disbelief.
“What? I didn’t check to be honest. S’not my job.” Namjoon ducked his head, avoiding Hoseok’s gaze and stuffing his hands into pockets he thought were there, only to remember he didn't change into casual clothes. “And I had other priorities.”
Yoongi scoffed. “I am not the best at my job for nothing.” He pulled a contraption out of his utility belt and read out a quick summary update on the status of their sanctuary, including small details like how many times Betsy the Sea Cow chirped since they had left. After he was done, he looked up at both of them unfazed by the question marks on their faces. “Just because I'm a mechanic doesn't mean I can't do programming too. I designed this to make sure things run smoothly should an emergency arise.”
Hoseok looked incredulously between the two. “I mean, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. You really didn't have to rush,” he reassured, taken aback by all their urgency. “I won't be assigned on a mission for another solar turn.”
“That’s rich coming from you, Mr. I’m Still In Diplomatic Uniform,” Yoongi snorted. “You got your court dress shoes and special seamless underwear still on. You were just as pressed to see us.”
Hoseok’s ears reddened, swatting Yoongi’s hands away from where they were feeling up his thighs. “They’re the only pair I have that won’t show through those white pants.”
“Yeah well,” Namjoon pushed himself off to walk towards them, “ever since we got word that your expedition to Earth’s Jupiter was near completion, Yoongi and I ‘ve been preparing for your return so we could jump drive to the capital as soon as you arrived. Had your trip been any longer than it was, Yoongi here would have strangled me. He’s been grumpy ever since you left, you know.”
“Yes, but when has he not been?” Hoseok teased, poking softly at Yoongi's protruded lower lip before turning to Namjoon, eyes twinkling. “And what about you?”
“I missed you a little, of course.”
“That's bullshit,” Yoongi interjected. “He waxed poetic about you every second of the day and became practically super glued to me. A little, my ass.” He grabbed Namjoon's wrist and forcefully dragged him closer to the both of them. “Just moosh his face already. You look like you're about to implode.”
It took awhile, but Namjoon held Hoseok’s hand gently and slowly leaned over Yoongi to give him a couple of chaste pecks, lingering on the last one.
“Even with each other around, it was hard without me, huh?” Hoseok tried, joking.
“Namjoon’s too clumsy to be you. And I am too deadpan to be you,” Yoongi retorted. “In fact, I don’t know anyone else in this galaxy or the next that can speak half a hundred intergalactic languages like you do. And who knows where we would be now if you hadn't taken a monumental part in establishing interplanetary peace.”
“You know full well it’s different without you.” Namjoon's gaze on Hoseok was as steady as Yoongi's arms were around his neck. “Without any one of us.”
“Guess so, huh,” Hoseok gave a slow genuine smile. “What would I do without either one of you?”
“You won’t have to find out,” Yoongi said, carefully detaching himself from Hoseok’s lap and standing. “It’s not going to happen.”
“C’mon,” Namjoon grinned, tugging at Hoseok who winced a little. “We’re getting extremely rare fish-sharks the early civilization called stingrays at the sanctuary today.”
“I will,” Hoseok said, smiling with a grimace from his seated position, “once I regain the feeling in my legs.”
“Sorry, not sorry.” Yoongi started walking listlessly back to their vessel. “I missed my spot. Don't make me miss it again.”
“Wouldn't dream of it.” 
author’s note:  see namjoon and his love for crabs. also, yoongi could've totally ran their sanctuary with automatic functions from the beginning since he built it like that but he never activated it because he likes spending time caring for the animals himself uwu.
6 notes · View notes
elfmeme · 7 years ago
Text
Khonjin House Starters
*WARNING: Some starters have sensitive topics
"I think it's time to order a pep-pep-pep-pep-PEPerroni pizza!"
"GODDAMMIT. Alright let's try this again."
"WHAT'RE YOU DOING, _, YOU HANGED UP ON ME!"
"I can't use my fucking dick anymore because of you."
"I'M JUST TRYING TO GET A PIZZA!"
"I want you dead, you little prick. DEAD. You hear me?!"
"Well, if I'm going I'm taking my spaghetti with me."
"It's in the coooontraaaaact~!"
"Well, it doesn't matter anyways because this questions a real butt breaker."
"I think I swallowed a bottle cap."
"I've never burned down a house before."
"AND YOU NEVER WILL!"
"God, don't these people know that I'm busy trying to look for crab crab?"
"You didn't tell me that the crab crab was a crab!"
"It's like the saying: Life's a beach, and I'm the dune who can't sand to watch our crustacean comrades go unprotected by the long beach island arm of the claw."
"Wait. I can smell it...Crab."
"I'm going to die."
"I'm going to need to examine that bag, if you don't mind."
"Well, just don't, uh, mind me while I TENDERIZE the BAG! A LITTLE BIT!"
"Uh, sir, it's not what it looks like. I just have a really loud butt."
"Well, I just dropped it so I don't have a product anymore."
"Well, uh, well don't just stand there, like are you gonna take it or not?"
"Wow. Well, now that you mention that, I totally want- SYKE! WHOOOO!"
"WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"
"Do you want this?? It's my most prized posession."
"I don't know, I found this cat in the garbage."
"Well, I'll just get down to it."
"It's okay, you can come in."
"Didn't you hear what I fucking said?!"
"I got to save the spaghetti!"
"The time. It has finally come. God, have mercy on all of us."
"What the fuck is the matter with you??"
"Well, s/he doesn't have to know that."
"I don't wanna break his/her heart, they're a cool chick."
"But that's a different plate of cookies for a different glass of milk."
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT 9/11 IS? I WAS THERE!!! On those planes."
"CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE, SCUMHOLE!"
"WHOOOO are you?"
"WAIT! DON'T TELL ME!"
"heheh...what a dick.."
"WHAAAAAT is this?"
"Eh, it's just a little scooty."
"Its just a little scooty. Don't fuck with it!"
"Well, yeah, but, the thing about that is that I....Am going to touch it."
"Alright, I won't touch it on one condition: You have to answer me one question."
"I KNEW IT!"
"Ladies and gentlemen......FFFUCK!"
"You're not as big as you think, broseph."
"The only rock you're gonna feel is the pavement!"
"Who the FUCK is talking about a rock?! Are you insane?!"
"S/he couldn't cheat on a math test, let alone cheat on me."
"The only C I can explain are the C four explosives planted under the floorboards."
"This whole place is going to hell."
"You're right, because it's C. Four. And planted the bombs, as previously stated, the ones you are standing on, with your feet, where they are, right there."
"You'll kill us both!"
"Both?! Oh, god NO!"
"Oh great. Of course. Always leave it to _ to fuck something up."
"Get the fuck out, RIGHT NOW!"
"But unfortunately for _ s/he will never find the chiwowow."
"What you don't understand is that I'm gonna fucking stick you like the pig you are if you don't."
"Shut the hell up at forever'o clock."
"How about you get me a PSPiece of pizza or you can Nintendo sixty-forget about ever surviving!"
"Heheh! A whole pep-pepperoni pizza all to myself-"
"Confirmed!"
"Die in your wildest of dreams!"
"You are a fool to stand against me, you idiot!"
"Personally, I prefer your ass."
"And the winner's me."
"If it isn't  __, my beeest friend!"
"That's a lot of people s/he's gotta fight."
"NO, S/HE'S A FRAUD! S/HE'S A FUCKING FRAUD! NO!"
"I am going to put a fucking bullet through my head."
"Listen, I got more degrees than a thermometer. You call me doc."
"Why are these names so goddamn long?!"
"I dunno, I've never been guilty before."
"I want every __ on my desk by the sixty-nineth hour, four-hundred-twenty days by now."
"Rob the place of every fuckboy."
"I want every desk on my desk."
"For the last fucking time, the rope isn't haunted!"
"Fuck it, just go!"
"It was across the street! Why do we need a map?!"
"What a wonderful day to be the king."
"I remember it like it was yesterday, it wasn't yesterday but that's how it felt."
"I DID IT!"
"I DIDN'T LIVE IN SACRAMENTO!"
"I'M NOT LOOKING FOR WOMAN! I'M LOOKING FOR PIZZA!"
"How about I give you a pair of scissors and cut out your favorite picture of _. And while you're at it, tape that picture to your face, so I can feel like I'm beating the shit out of him when I'm beating the shit out of you."
"I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR THAT FUCKING BULLSHIT!!"
"It's kind of mesmerizing, really."
"I despise every fiber of your being."
"I'm not involving myself with you. At all."
"It looks like a magic."
"I respect that. And by respect that I mean touch it."
"Have you guys seen my chia pet?"
"I feel like liquid."
"Do I look like someone who knows what the hell that is? Because I am, what was your question?"
"I wanna know how to get the hell out of here!"
"I will staple your face to a beehive."
"Ah, what a wonderful day to take a single step."
"The footage was doctored, you idiots!"
"You can't trust anyone, except for the one man I who can trust with my very life."
"Could you just let me speak for, like, one second?"
"Then what are you doing here, hotshot?"
"You ever heard about the joke with the kid who dissipated into the tides of time? Well, you never will."
"And I was an undercover cop the whole time, they were the criminal, I caught them....Which is what I would've said if I was a cop. I'm a murderer."
"Ah, what a wonderful day to not have Christmas money."
"Alright, I get it. I was looking to play cards but, uh, you can go fish."
"Wait a second, did you say cards as in, like..poker? As in, like, money?"
"But I ain't gonna play cards with some bitchy fishy who's trying to swim with the sharks. So how about you grab yourself a towel, and get out of the pool?"
"I'm gettin' my decks shuffled tonight, if you know what I'm saying!"
"Go back to the shallow end, __, this yaht doesn't have room for two. And I just sunked your career."
"Christmas ain't about making money! It's about making a shitton of money."
"Homie, are you trying to get a lambchop or a lamborghini? Come on, my boy, let's ride, let's talk the dirty."
"Don't. Trust. The streets."
"It was only a matter of time, probably for the rattle of a dime." 
"But money was not gonna buy their way out of this situation station."
"'EY! Could you PLEASE SHUT UP?!"
"Crisis averted."
"Sometimes in order to find the spider, you have to walk right into their web. Their spiderweb."
"Basically, I have no idea how to solve the case."
"Early to pep, early to shoot the shit."
"Don't pretend you're not here, I know you're here!"
"So, how far away is Six Flags?"
"Oh..That's, strange? I could've sworn we were going to Six Flags, considering I'm already IN THE CAR. AND WE'RE GOING TO SIX FLAGS!"
"Alright we made it, now lets find our guy."
"If I were a target, where would I be?"
"You got it! Just, uh, give me a second here, I'll be right back."
"I'veeee got the net!"
"So you're telling me, that if I scream once, I'm dead?"
"Wow, that's a nice cigar, I didn't know you vape."
"Look at this buffet, how could you pass this up?"
"Oh, great, just clone them. Call off the whole fucking funeral, who cares?"
"Can you actually do that?"
"Some people want to make it their own way, but I like to make it the gay way."
"Okay! I get it! it sucks, whatever!"
"EXCUSE ME?! Do I owe you something?!"
"Look, I had a rough day. I'm not looking for trouble."
"Okay, __, I get it. Laugh it up, alright?!"
"I can't die now! Not before I've played Dweebus: the Video Game."
"Today, I've decided to stop wasting my time with habits that just are fucking dumb."
"Oh, dearest __, your voice is like a porcelain gulder against the tides of white noise."
"Would you not cleanse my ears with one bout of conversation?"
"It's so quiet." 
"....S/He's gonna come in here any second now. And when s/he does, the loudest music you have ever heard in your life is gonna play."
"The sheer volume will destroy any speaker, any set of headphones will rupture and explode."
"And this horrible reality is approaching us, and I will be right here at ground zero."
"Could've been good if it were fire ants."
"Sorry to have wasted your time."
"I want to kill you on the principle of that stupid-ass question alone."
"I don't even know who you are!"
"You said you weren't him! I thought I recognized you!"
"Give me one good reason not to."
"Oh, I'm sorry, but there's an irony to be appreciated here."
"I know it'll be lost on you, but would you believe that you're not the only illusion that wants me dead?"
"You wanted him dead since the beginning."
"Kinda sleepy."
"And I'm kinda pissed. Probably don't have to tell you why either."
"Yeah, I think I'm gonna go to bed."
"I'm just gonna lie down here, I'm comfortable."
"You know what, you've had a hard day. You take a nap, and recharged, and all that."
"Wake up, you dumbass!"
"I was having this dream about this girl with really big thighs."
"In other words, a nightmare."
"What? Do you not find big thighs attractive?"
"Well, I guess everyone has their own personal opin- YOU ARE SO FULL OF SHIT!"
"What a wonderful day to experience an unabashedly horrfying piece of ribbon."
"It's a bow that makes bows, we could sell them for four dollars apiece! Cold hard cash, or credit."
"I'm gonna take a bunch of tampons and SHOVE THEM UP YOUR FUCKING ASS!"
"Don't worry, I can fix this. Which is what I would've said if I knew how."
"Nah, I don't remember that at all."
"I know what I want, and I know what I deserve."
"Good, I'm glad you know. But I don't."
"That sounds like a load of shit, I don't believe you."
"My greatest wish is for you to be castrated by a scorpion."
"You take five steps near this thing I'll do a tap-dance on your ribcage!"
"And I'm running out of patience."
"Yes I know, you're a special snowflake, come on we're running out of time!"
"It seems like you thought I was asking for second opinion."
"I would rather die at the hands of a frisbee than chase whatever crazy taxi it is you want me to go get."
"In fact, I'm calling your bluff, asshole!"
"Kill me with that frisbee. Do it."
"Could we really just do that?"
"Has technology really come this far?"
"I wanted to be a surprise."
"Sooo, what do you like best about me?"
"You're not ruining the surprise for me."
"Surpriiiiiiiiiise~."
"We're gonna fucking kill ourselves, go to heaven, and steal Jesus' shoes."
"You should not have done this."
"Well I did, so it looks like you'll just have to kill me."
"The power that was once upon you, is no longer yours."
"This existence doesn't need you anymore."
"People will DIE! Just because you lost someone doesn't mean everybody has to!"
"You think I'm playing you? How do you think you got here."
"GET THIS SHIT OFF ME!"
"And, as it turns out, uhh, limited time was actually unlimited time, and so it's gonna be there forever."
"I got a signed poster of Flute from Spy Kids, I know you wanna see this!"
"Yawn, YAWWWN!"
"I've heard mention of _ and obviously I'm here for this reason."
"Not to belabor the point, but this has never worked."
"Is this the fake gamer girl equivalent to _, you fuckin’ snob?"
"I've learned all the racial slurs in existence, and I will recite them now."
"Uh, did you try shooting it?"
"WOAH, HEY NOW, flag on the plane! You can't just say that!"
"This is literally the worst possible time to be doing any of this."
"Wow, by some miracle of probability, your complete and utterly hairbrained scheme managed to garner one modicum of success and with this juncture I could not possibly see how this could go wrong."
"You thought you've got me, but jokes on you I have narcolepsy."
"Ah, well, alright. I don't really understand the implications of that but much better than the proposed outcome."
"If there's anything I've learned, it's that if it abides by the laws of physics, it simply cannot exist in this twisted, fucked up world."
"So, uh, yeah, I'm going to go home and asphyxiate on every stray cat I see on the way there."
"I don’t feel bad, I've just had enough, man. I have needs for pizza."
27 notes · View notes
wizardsnwookies · 6 years ago
Text
POTA 081518 - Hearth and Fire
“Welcome back.” Drenaris fluttered her eyes, it was dark, almost as dark as the unconsciousness she just awoke from but there was just enough light from a flickering fire to see the outline Aviate’s face staring down at her.
“Tell me they’re dead.”
“Most of them, we find ourselves in the company of the remainders.” Aviate eased her up into a sitting position, casting a glance over his shoulder to the raging funeral pyre consuming the dead.
“They mean to takes us back to their stronghold for initiation. Poh is of the mind to dispose of them before that happens.”
“Of course he is. For once, I’m in total agreement with him.” Drenaris scanned the scene, six figures stood as shadows against the flame, staring into it with a kind of reverent awe. Their horse and wagon had been drawn up to the camp where tents and bedrolls had already been laid out for the evening. Twilight had already settled in, and the stars glittering like diamonds above their heads.
“Where is the little fiend anyways?”
A slight elevation of his head turned Drenaris attention to the back of the wagon where the hunched figure of Poh sat in intense examination of one of the serrated blades carried by the water people. Piled around him were several bits and pieces of armor collected from both sides. Netting and crustacean shell from the water folk, burnished brass on the other. Sitting up, Drenaris reached a hand out towards the hilt of a rather simple looking longsword among the littler.
“This from the flame cult?”
Poh turned his head, seemingly unaware that his companion had once again regained consciousness. He offered a nod, showing no reaction or concern for her state of being, before turning his attention back to what Drenaris could now see was a sword lined on either side with rows of shark teeth. She carefully drew the longsword from the wagon, the cold steel singing as it dragged against the old wood.
She tested it in her hands, the weight, the balance, the construction. She didn’t know much about a lot of things, but she knew weaponry, you needed to if you wanted to survive the pits. In every sense, it was unimpressive. The balance was passable, a bit to heavy to wield with any significant speed, and the blue folded steel had been smithed with reasonable competence. Still, she knew there was a secret to be unlocked here, magical or otherwise. She had see the flame cult wield these with a ripples of flame climbing up its length. The question was, how was this triggered?
“Stow it, they’re coming back.” The pirate stood, collecting the sword from her hands before helping Poh surreptitiously hide the ill gotten goods under a length of tent fabric. Backlit by the raging bonfire, the woman Aviate had come to know as Rebecca approached flanked by two of her subordinates, a slight man with raven hair, and another female with eyes the color of emeralds.
“You’re awake. So tell me, have your friends shown you the light?” There was no alternative offered, instead, she drew the longsword at her hip and let it fall to her side ominously.
“No.” Drenaris stood on shaky legs, chin held high, eyes burning. Aviate felt his muscles tense. He hadn’t yet gotten the opportunity to tell her they were feigning allegiance, this could end very badly.
“The glory of the eternal flame doesn’t need others to attest to it’s power.”
“Well said.” Not quite smiling, Rebecca sheathed her sword, her stance relaxing some. “I am Rebecca Thorne of the Eternal Flame. This is Arman Sial,” she motioned to the slight man to her right, “and  Barabal Bhodhsa.” The woman to her left seemed of a much warmer temperment than her colleges, her smile wide, eyes shining.
“Welcome to dae fold. Rebecca seems like a tite arse but donna worry none, she grows on yae.” Drenaris had to strain to hear past Barabal’s thick accent, but her voice was friendly and lighthearted. It was almost a shame that they would have to kill her.
“Come, bask in the power of the fire and we shall begin your education.”
---
Hearth and Fire be ours tonight And all the dark outside, Fair the night, and kind on your Wherever you abide
And I’ll be the glow upon your head The warmth upon your face My life upon the path you tread And upon your name I swear
Wine and song be ours tonight And the fire in our heart; Power and warmth be yours tonight Wherever you abide
Hearth and Fire be outs tonight And the embers upon the wind Oh that the fire we stoke tonight Would find you warm and fair
It was a crowd-pleaser. Sure, he may have weaved a little charm spell into the music, and yes he may have altered the lyrics to suit his needs, but Aviate liked to think that regardless these zealots would have been enthralled by him even if he had not been quite so manipulative. When Drenaris used a simple Thulmaturgy spell to make the flames dance, he had to stow his annoyance and check his ego. This wasn’t a simple plying of his trade, he had to remember, this was about setting the stage for slaughter.
“I feel that song only appropriate for the evening.” He took a strong bow as applause and cheers rang out from the half dozen cultists. Even Rebecca had seemed to lighten up some. “It brings up the only thing missing. Wine!”
“We do not drink.” In an instant, the cold frown returned on the captain’s face. This was a tough one, Aviate thought. “The fire of the eternal flame is already within our bellies.”
“Is that how you ignite your swords?”
“Nah, with our faith.” Barabal stood proudly, thrusting her blade into the air in salute. In an instant, sparks of flame began to dance on the cold blue steel it’s orange glow slithering across her face.
“Your faith, huh?” Drenaris stood, offering her hand, palm up. “Mind if I give it a try?”
Six voices broke out in laughter around the fire, each one of the acolytes slapping their knees and clutching their aching sides. Barabal was more restrained, seemingly not willing to mock her new comrade. Instead she doused the flame and flipped the sword in the air, catching it by the blade and thrusting the hilt towards Drenaris.
“Don’t mean nae offense, but I cannae think a newcomer-” Barabal jumped back with a start, the instant the leather grip touched Drenaris fingers a rush of flame shot upwards towards her hand. Aviate hid a smile from the crowd, smoke and mirrors magic, nothing that would fool anyone with half a brain. However, against those already charmed to take a liking to the group...
“It seems I have misjudged you.” Rebecca stood with a smile of reverence upon her face. Her eyes watched the dancing flame upon the blade as if it were god itself. “The glory of the Eternal Flame burns strong with you. Elazar will be eager to meet with you.”
“Elazar?” Dousing the flames, Drenaris tossed the sword back to an awestruck Barabal. Perhaps it would be wise to hold off on slaying these folk until after they learned a little something about all this. Could be useful if these little encounters were to be a recurring nuisance upon their journey.
“The Leader of the Hall of the Scarlet Moon. He will be the one to initiate you into the fellowship of the flame. He will be first to call you Sister.” A proud hand fell upon Drenaris shoulder. Rebecca had now fully cooled, Aviate’s spell fully taking hold.
“I eagerly await that honor. How much further a journey to we have?”
“Not long, one day’s journey back from whence you had arrived into our fold.”
“Really? We passed no hall on our way here.”
Rebecca smiled before turning back to stoke the bonfire to even greater heights. “These lands once held great kingdoms, of which all that are left are song and ruins. Though not the grand hall the eternal flame deserves, they serve our purposes well enough.”
“Interesting.” Drenaris mask faltered slightly. Casting her eyes over Rebecca’s shoulder she could see the dark silhouette of Poh, skulking behind the turned backs of the five sitting around the fire. He was getting impatient, and if his past actions were any indication, he was not one to wait for the order. He would strike when he was ready, or rather, when he was tired of waiting.
“It will be interesting to see how we all fit inside with the great gathering. The number of those eager to bask in the flame’s glory swells, and things are already becoming cramped in such a space.”
Almost imperceptibly, Drenaris chanced the slightest shaking of her head. Hoping beyond hope that the bird will actually listen this time. “What great gathering?”
“We gather our numbers for preparations of the great ritual.” Rebecca offered a wicked smile, turning back to the fire and tugging up her trousers before sitting upon a small stone. “You are lucky to have joined us when you did. A great cleansing is upon us. All who are unworthy will be wiped clean of this earth, leaving behind only those loyal to the eternal flame.”
This was far more than just a philosophical dispute between factions. This was something bigger, something insane, and now she had found herself somehow caught in the middle of it. All she wanted was to repay a debt owed to a cheating half-ork. How strangely the fates spin their webs.
“It’s about time if you ask me.” Aviate punctuated his exclamation with a pull of his wine skin, wiping his lips clean and nodding towards the group. “As much as I hate to break up the celebration, the night grows dark and it would be prudent to start a watch should any more of those waterlogged fools decide to seek revenge.”
“Mmm, Arman you take first watch.” There was no argument from the slight man when his captain spoke. He stood tall, grabbing his sword belt and buckled it around his waist with the speed and precision of a well trained soldier. These were not mere cultists, Aviate pondered, these were dedicated men and women of skill and discipline.
“Allow us to share the burden. Poh is quite gifted with the shadows, he will stand watch with his new brother.”
“Very well.” Arman stood patiently at the edge of the surrounding brush and tree cover. The way his eyes followed the bobbing motion of the Kenku’s gate betrayed the unease he felt for the creature. Wise man, Aviate thought to himself. Though no words had passed between them, he knew as well as Poh that though two of them disappeared into the darkness of the night, only one of them would emerge alive.
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