#<- two of which i really need to get my beautiful husband's advice on what to Consume First

[ham1lton]

SIMPLE !

pairings: jude bellingham x lewis hamilton’s assistant!reader

summary: after your first few dates with jude, everything seems to be going smoothly. however, there’s just one problem: your boss seems to hate your new boyfriend.

warnings: judeyn being dumbasses.

author’s note: part of my dream girl universe. for best enjoyment, read after the first instalment. assistant2 also makes her first official appearance!!

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📍 berlin, germany.

tagged: judebellingham

liked by ham1ltonshaderoom, jobebellingham and 2,837,918 others.

yourinstagram: the photos he takes of me vs the one i take of him. i think you all can see the better photographer.

view all 1,108,928 comments

user1: LOVE seeing hot people date each other.

-> user11: i love seeing two hot people be BESTIES.

user2: JUDE IS TAKEN ???!!!! NOOOOOOO

-> user3: babe… you didn’t have a chance at all. like please be serious.

-> user13: thank god they aren’t actually dating tho.

user4: my gf <3

-> judebellingham: who even are you.

-> user4: we can share <3 i can keep her satisfied thru the weekend u have the weekdays king.

jobebellingham: love this yn. he looks so depressed and ugly.

-> judebellingham: U JEALOUS ASF 😹

-> jobebellingham: yn i’ll paypal you £50 rn if you post more ugly pictures. which is all his pictures really.

-> yourinstagram: challenge accepted 🫡

lewishamilton: you look good yn!

-> user5: and what about jude??

-> lewishamilton: what about him?

-> user6: NOT YN’S HUSBAND HAVIN BEEF W/ HER BFF 😭

user7: lip combo?!!??

-> yourinstagram: i’m not a gatekeeper. it’s on my tiktok!! my most recent one <3

user8: you did my king so dirty with that one pic…. LMFAO DO IT AGAIN

-> yourinstagram: 🫡🫡

user10: their friendship is so cute!!

user12: yn is moving up in the world!!! from bts delulu to besties with JUDE BELLINGHAM

-> yourinstagram: blocking you! 😃

-> user12: you can block me but you can’t erase ‘hobisbabymama’

-> yourinstagram: HELLO?2&/9£/

user9: WHERE IS LANDO?!

-> user10: she blocked his main and his ten other side accounts because she’s secretly in love with him and wants to leave loser jude for him.

-> user9: hi lando 😁

user10: no roscoe pic?

-> yourinstagram: sorry babe :(( he’s at home with his dad and i’m on holiday. assistant2 has some highlights of him on her page!! <3

judebellingham: why do i look so depressed

-> yourinstagram: idk <3 want to get ice cream?

-> judebellingham: .. yeah

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title: my girlfriend’s boss (l,39) hates me and it’s ruining my relationship. help?

hi all, i don’t really post on here, but i’m at my wit’s end and need advice. i (j, m21) have been dating my girlfriend (y, f24) for a couple of months now, and it’s been brilliant. she’s smart, funny, beautiful, and honestly the kindest person i’ve ever met. here’s the catch: her boss (l, m39), who also happens to be an insanely famous athlete and very wealthy, clearly hates me.

y works as his personal assistant, and from what she’s told me, l has always been good to her. she’s known him for years, and he’s helped her out a lot in her career. she always says he’s like family, but ever since she introduced me to him, he’s been awful.

it started small, like him calling me “mate” in that condescending way that makes you feel about two feet tall. but last week, i went to pick y up from work, and he gave me this look—you know the type, the kind that says, “you’re not good enough to breathe the same air as her.” i tried to play it off, but it’s eating at me.

another time, we ran into him at a café, and he made this offhand comment about how “footballers aren’t known for their brains.” y tried to laugh it off, but i felt like an absolute idiot.

then there was the incident with the tickets. y mentioned she’d been offered two box seats for a big match, courtesy of l, and we were both so excited to go. but when she told him i was going with her, he suddenly “remembered” he’d promised them to someone else. i know it sounds paranoid, but it feels deliberate.

to make matters worse, y thinks i’m overreacting. she says l is just protective of her because they work closely together, but i can’t help but feel like there’s more to it. she brushes off his weird behaviour, but come on—this is the same man who asked her to taste-test a box of chocolate truffles because he couldn’t decide which to order for himself. (weird, right?)

it’s not just the comments, though. y told me l doesn’t usually care who his staff date, but she mentioned he’s suddenly started asking loads of questions about me, like whether i’ve been in trouble before or if i’m serious about her. it’s like he’s looking for a reason to disapprove. y thinks he’s being protective, but i swear he just doesn’t like me. here’s the problem: i’m pretty sure he hates me. actually, scratch that—i know he hates me.

i’m spiralling here. what if l starts sabotaging our relationship? y says she’s not going anywhere, but i can’t shake the feeling he’s got some weird power over her. am i just being insecure, or is there something seriously wrong here? what do i do?

top comments:

soggy_pigeon: nah, this is classic alpha behaviour. he’s marking his territory. he probably sees her as more than just an assistant, if you know what i mean. tread carefully.

fluffybananas: footballers aren’t known for their brains. maybe he has a point.

spicy_gravy: dude, he’s probably jealous you’ve got abs and a girl who loves you. chill.

randomuser_123: sounds like you’re dating your boss’s work spouse.

tofu_throwaway: i think l’s just jealous because y spends more time with you now. he’s like a toddler upset that someone’s playing with his favourite toy.

ladybantheboys: ok but what if it’s the opposite? like, what if l approves of you but is being mean on purpose to test if you’re good enough for her?

football4ever: j, mate, you’re overthinking. l’s just a famous bloke who doesn’t want to lose his assistant to some random guy. show him you’re not random. take him out for a pint or something.

memequeen420: this reminds me of when i had a cat and got a new dog. the cat hated the dog at first but now they’re best friends. just give it time.

plshelpme1998: have you tried googling “how to win over your girlfriend’s boss”? there’s bound to be a wikiHow.

bananabreadbae: mate, if he wanted her, he’d have made a move by now. maybe he just doesn’t like footballers. not everyone does, you know.

user2847: honestly, the truffle thing makes me think he’s the weird one. does he do this with everyone or just y? if it’s just her, he’s probably got some weird older-brother complex going on.

ultimategoblin69: maybe he wants to adopt you. famous people do weird shit like that.

yogurtbutter: ok but what if you’re the problem? maybe you’re just a bit annoying and he senses it. famous people have great instincts.

iamnotanon: have you considered sabotaging him back? like, nothing serious, but maybe show up in a better suit than him one day. alpha vibes only.

opinionatedowl: this is a power thing. l’s rich and famous, and he’s used to being in charge. stand your ground, but don’t disrespect him. he’s probably testing you.

thecheeseman: it sounds like a bad rom-com where l secretly approves of you but can’t admit it because he’s emotionally constipated. if i were you, i’d play the long game.

spicywaterlover: wait… what if l is secretly in love with y and you’re the obstacle? plot twist.

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edit: wow, ok. this has been a ride. thanks for all the comments, even the wild ones. i think i’ll try the “pint” suggestion, but i draw the line at sabotage. will update if anything changes (or if i get adopted).

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liked by messyassuser, lando11priv and 1,938,882 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: football star jude bellingham seen cuddling and being affectionate with his new girl! she has been identified as yn yln, she is the personal assistant of f1 icon lewis hamilton. they were spotted outside a restaurant in las vegas after the grand prix all boo’d up! according to sources, they were all loved up at the after party. they ‘didn’t leave each other’s space’. what do we think about this new couple ham1ltons?

view all comments

user1: who tf even is she

-> user2: a baddie. she’s seriously so funny and sweet. you guys should see her tiktok or insta pages. jude is punching above his weight.

user3: oh!

user4: HOTTIES!!!

user5: why they doing the most in public???

-> user6: they’re in love? girl lmao.

-> user7: she’s his beard or he’s hers. idk yet. i need to consult the stars.

-> user8: ^ me when i’m off my meds.

user9: am i the only one who thinks they’re cute? good for them!!

user10: um i think she’d be happier with lando.

-> user11: lando please how are you still making new accounts.

-> user10: i’m totally not the handsome and gorgeous lando. i’m actually… pando. hi.

user12: my gf and my bf are dating??? i’m gonna be sick.

-> user13: they got two hands.

user14: they’re rlly dating???

-> user15: no bitch. they’re just coworkers 🙄

-> user14: oh! thank you :D

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UPDATE: my girlfriend’s boss (l,39) hates me and it’s ruining my relationship. help?

hi all, it’s j again. thanks for the advice on my last post—it was a mix of helpful, hilarious, and… well, a bit unsettling. but it gave me the push i needed to talk to l. here’s what happened:

i decided to man up and ask him out for a pint to clear the air. i figured it was the most normal thing to do. well, turns out l’s teetotal (thanks, y, for not warning me properly). when i suggested a pint, he just looked at me for a second and went, “i don’t drink, mate,” in that calm, terrifying way he has. i panicked, said something about tea, and left feeling like an absolute idiot.

but two days later, he called y at work and told her to invite me round to his place for tea. TEA. this man lives in a house that looks like it’s straight out of a Bond film, so you can imagine how intimidating it was to rock up with a packet of biscuits like some budget offering.

long story short, we had tea, and he cleared the air. he admitted he’d been giving me a hard time because he wanted to make sure i was serious about y. he said she’s like family to him (didn’t say “work spouse,” thank god), and he needed to know i’d treat her right. honestly, it was a bit awkward, but also kind of sweet.

so yeah, we’re good now. he even said he’d save me a seat for the next big race. i don’t know if that was a peace offering or a power move, but i’ll take it.

thanks for the push, reddit. you lot are mad, but in a good way. most of the time.

comments:

ladybantheboys: told you he was testing you! this is literally every rom-com ever. next step: you accidentally bond over an inside joke, and he becomes your biggest fan.

bananabreadbae: this is so british it hurts. “sorry i was mean, let’s have tea.” mate, at least you passed the test!

football4ever: called it! blokes like him just want to make sure you’re solid. now you’re in his good books, you’re set for life. congrats, mate.

memequeen420: so… what kind of biscuits did you bring? was it something boring like digestives, or did you go all out with hobnobs? we NEED to know.

randomuser_123: this is like when my dog hated my boyfriend at first but then they bonded over cheese. sometimes it just takes time.

tofu_throwaway: glad it worked out, but honestly, i’m still a bit scared of l. even through your post, he sounds like he could crush a man with a single stare.

iamnotanon: congrats on passing the test. now don’t mess it up, or i guarantee he’ll make you disappear. rich people have connections.

ultimategoblin69: you went to his house?! are you sure it wasn’t a trap? like, did he subtly scan your fingerprints for future blackmail material?

plshelpme1998: like, this whole thing is giving weirdly protective father vibes. good luck, mate.

user2847: what does his house smell like? no, seriously. i feel like rich people’s houses have that “old money” smell, like leather and expensive wood polish. was it intimidating?

(deleted): send feet pics.

opinionatedowl: so… when’s the wedding? i’m assuming l will walk her down the aisle now that you’ve been knighted into his inner circle.

thecheeseman: this is the most British solution ever. “i made you feel terrible, but here, have some earl grey, and now we’re mates.” glad it worked out though!

memequeen420 (again): STILL no answer on the biscuits. j, you’re avoiding the REAL questions here. were they branded or store-brand? did he eat one? this is important.

weirdcookieperson: did he sniff you when you walked in? like, does he have a heightened sense of smell? rich people are weird, man.

alphamale_uk: mate, you handled this all wrong. never apologise, never offer tea, and NEVER back down to another alpha. you should’ve walked in, sat in his chair, and asserted dominance. that’s how you gain respect. next time, bring steak, not biscuits. real men bond over meat, not tea.

j (op): l’s vegan, mate. bringing a steak would’ve been like waving a red flag at a bull. also, this isn’t Planet of the Apes, it’s just tea. chill.

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j (op): wow, i forgot how weird reddit is. for the record: branded hobnobs. because i’m not a monster. no sniffing, no fingertip scanning and i’ll get someone to update you if i go missing. cheers for the laughs.

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— all works taglist: @luvsforme @yelenasloverrrrr @donttouchthegnote @chelle1306 @bloodyymaryy @aliciaablueprint @km-23mr @stinkyjax @f1kenzzz @ctrlyomomma @theblueblub @23victoria @namgification @tallrock35 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @lifeless-firefly @xylinasdiary @evie-119 @itseightbeats @landososcar @yongi-lee @velentine @m1892 @blushmimi @evans-dejong @nixisracing @lethalvenus @sainzluvrr @santanasaintmendes @idontknowlmaoo @sainzluvrr @tetetoni @ssprayberrythings @heavy-vettel @tashisgf @daniskywalkersolo @c-losur3 @lestappenslover @linoscrly (see yourself tagged when you don’t wanna be? or you want to be and don’t see yourself? send me an ask!)

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[teenagedracula]

idk how big you are into musicals but I feel like you'd fuck with assassins the musical

Woagh. Hi truman

I do notnknow anything of this but I have heard of it I think?

[elllisaaa]

in ur last svt post (which made me fold btw) you mentioned you love doing bf thoughts (and we love reading them!!) so i’m gonna be the one to do it… any dirty bf!wonwoo headcanons sweetie? 🫣

not me dropping two wonwoo asks in one day like i’m not hansol biased i’m gonna run away 🏃‍♀️ he’s so husband material tho (getting back into my svt phase is fun 🙂‍↕️)

lmaoo honestly it's valid being whipped for wonwoo, i am too even though i'm a seokmin and chan girlie (hansol is coming at me these days though...)

BF!WONWOO who's a silent lover, but who loves you so much that everyone can see who smitten by you he is.

another member of seventeen that i think is a very good listener. wonwoo is always ready to listen to you when you need to talk, be that because something funny happened to you or because you had a bad day. and he's also really good at giving you advice when you have a problem. he strikes me as someone who's emotionally smart, so it isn't difficult for him to know that you're sad without you having to tell hims. sometimes he'll notice that you're not doing well and he will prepare you a little snack and deliver it with a kiss and a sweet "i love you, i'm here if you need to talk." that almost makes you tear up from how caring he is. also, wonwoo's hugs must feel incredibly good, like being engulfed in a warm bubble of love that's so soothing you immediately relax in his embrace. you could literally spend your whole life hugging him because it's genuinely the best feeling in the world.

"it's okay darling, i'm here now. everything is going to be alright."

wonwoo would love to play video games with you. it's good if you are already into it, but it would be even better if you don't because he would love to teach you how to play his favourite games. he would even use it as an excuse to make you sit on his lap while he's trying to show you how to play. from there, you would often play together, but it's also not rare for you to simply sit in wonwoo's lap and watch him play, or take a nap there, lulled to sleep by his breathing and heartbeat. one of his favourite ways to spend a date night at home with you is playing board games. you'd pick out one or two games together, make yourself some tea and prepare snacks and then you'll spend your night playing together. the members often joke about how the two of you are like an old couple but you don't care because what matters is that you're having fun during these game nights. also, wonwoo loves to just stay at home with you, all cozy in your matching pajamas and getting to see you all relaxed. he obviously loves it when you're dressing up when the two of you are going out, but you're the most beautiful to him with only a big beautiful smile on your face.

"let's just watch a movie tonight, i don't want to see other people, only you."

he's adamant on reminding you of how beautiful you are every single day. and that's the way he says it that makes you blush - like it's the most natural thing ever and that it's obvious. however, when it's your turn to praise wonwoo, he gets shy and bashful, and you literally have to fight him to get him to accept the compliment. but wonwoo loves your insistence on adoring him and he loves the attention - he's down bad for you, but it's good to know that you're down bad for him as well. he would often take photos of you without you noticing when he thinks you look particularly pretty. he won't show these pictures to you, but he has folder of them on his phone and on his computer too, and he looks at them when he's away from you and that he misses you. wonwoo would put all these secret photos into a pretty album he made and decorated himself, and he would gift it to you for your anniversary. overall, he would gift you a lot of mindful things like these, and you keep all of them in a little box under your bed.

"when did you take this one nonu ?" - "when we went to the botanical garden, you were so pretty that day."

BF!WONWOO who's a service top and who loves to please you, but who can also get a little bit mean when he wants to.

wonwoo definitely loves cockwarming with you. when you sit on his lap while he's playing video games, it's not impossible that he'll end up pushing your panties to the side and slipping his cock inside of you, not moving at all. he just loves the intimacy of it, how much you trust him and relax into his touch immediately. but it's impossible to not get hard when your pussy feels this wet and this warm, nor when you're sometimes clenching around him. wonwoo usually gives up pretty quickly, because he loves the feeling as much as you. most of the time, he would grip your hips and help you drop down on his cock slowly until the both of you cum. but when he's feeling more needy, he would bend you over his desk and fuck you rough from behind until you're screaming his name. but sometimes, you can stay like this for a long time, even managing to fall asleep because it feels so warm and safe to be so close to him. it's the way you feel so comfortable around him that gets him going mostly.

"just sit on my cock for while baby, then i'll fuck you, okay ?"

overall, wonwoo just loves to please you in every way he can. he's inflexible about foreplay because he loves to have you cumming at least once before he fucks you - his girl should get as much orgasms as possible because you only deserve the best. he woul often keep his glasses on while eating you out, because even if it's the most comfortable for him, he knows how crazy you go when he looks up at you through the fogged lenses and how hot you think he is when he has them on. wonwoo prefers positions where he can see your face as he fucks you, so missionary is a must with him. he loves to see your face contort when you're close to the edge, and he loves to watch you as he brings you to your orgasm - your pretty expressions and the sounds you make often enough to trigger his own release. again, he loves how close he can be to you in this position, chest and forehead pressed against each other's, whispering praises and love confessions against your lips while he ruts his hips into you deep.

"you're so pretty darling… so fucking pretty like this."

despite him being very romantic, he also knows how much you like it when he shows you how strong he is. wonwoo would definitely manhandle you into bending over for him if that's what you want - and he's not gonna lie by saying that he doesn't like it when you become all putty in his hands because he's holding your hands firmly behind your back. it's quite good for his ego too to hear you gush about how attractive he is, how hot his strength and his muscles are. wonwoo also uses it to his advantage when you've been a little tease or that he's frustrated. all these hours spent at the gym are worth it when it allows him to hold you down against the mattress while he pounds into you until you're crying out his name and that tears are running down your face. of course, he's always mindful of any signs of discomfort when he's rougher, but you both love it when wonwoo doesn't hold back and ruins you. it feels rewarding to know that he can make his girl scream his name so loud that the neighbors complain the next day.

"i'm not gonna let you go until you're dripping baby, i need to have you again."

[orphicdreamers-wp]

When You Know You Know — Quinn Hughes

Summary; In which you, Quinn and your loved ones recount the early days of your relationship

Content Warning: wedding ceremony inaccuracies, fluff

You laughed into your palms as Jack took the microphone and grinned sheepishly, “Hey guys! I’m Jack, the cooler of Quinn’s brothers.” You turned to your husband, “How bad are we expecting this to turn out?” Quinn laughed, “Almost as bad as Trevor standing up after the minister said ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ and saying ‘don’t nobody say nothing’.” Jack grinned as you turned to face you and his brother, “I have one text from a Quinn Hughes, dated December 9th 2018. Jack no joke, I just met my wife. She’s perfect.”

Jack turned to face your wedding guests, “It should be noted that the first two weeks of December that year there was a horrendous snow storm in Vancouver so I initially didn’t believe him. Until he FaceTimed me the next day trekking through the snow holding a bouquet of lavenders that was bigger than his head, which is ideally a huge thing of flowers. He told me he was going to meet a girl for dinner. He called me again the next day, this time he was demanding to speak to our mom to learn how to make pasta as he was having someone over for dinner.”

Jack’s story earned laughs from the guests. Jack smiled at you and Quinn as he continued, “This continued through the remainder of December and the majority of January. It was nearing a month he’d been needing dating advice. So he called me once again trekking through the snow, but that time he wasn’t alone.” Jack turned to face you with a smile, “I was complaining about whatever stupid crap a 17 year old boy would. And then I saw Quinn get pelted in the face with a snowball. Then I heard Y/N squeal as she and Quinn ran through the snow covered streets of Vancouver throwing snowballs at each other and giggling.”

You laughed softly as you melted into your husbands side into a warm embrace, “I quickly learned that Y/N was perfect for my brother which was unexpected because Y/N is classy, kind and beautiful and Quinn is not. But after meeting her I have never had to question or wonder if my brother made the right choice. Because from the moment I met her, Y/N has shown nothing but grace, love and support for not just Quinn but my entire family. I could not be more proud to say, welcome to the family sis.” Your eyes welled with tears as you stood to go hug Jack, “I always wanted a little brother to annoy.” Jack smiled as he hugged you, “I always wanted a sister.”

You returned to your seat next to your husband as your best friend, Gracie stood up with the microphone, “I hold here a hot pink notebook sheet of paper dated April 13th 2006, it reads ‘GG I have a secret. I have to tell someone so your my friend now that I told you. Mrs Tkachuck’s son is cute. He is always skating at recess. I think he has really nice hair, maybe my husband will too. Anyways I got peanut butter sandwiches for lunch what did you get?’ This was the first note I ever received.”

You covered your face with your hands as you heard your husband whisper, “Please tell me it wasn’t Brady.” You laughed as Gracie continued, “The boy in the note did have really nice hair. Matthew Tkachuck everyone. That note would be seen as two 7 year old girls agreeing that a 9 year old was cute and bonding over lunch. But for me that singular note written in real glitter pen by the 7 year old who had no friends because she didn’t let anyone say anything mean to her. You, Y/N changed my life at just 7 years old.”

Quinn squeezed your hand reassuringly as you blinked back soft tears as Gracie continued, “You wouldn’t know this, because I never told you. But on Friendsgiving in 2018, when I pulled the longer side of the wishbone. I wished for you to find someone who would alter your life the way you altered mine. And then 13 days later I got a voicemail from you at 3 am. You had claimed you found the love of your life and his name was win. I unanimously decided that his name probably wasn’t actually win but more likely Quinn.”

You felt your gaze soften as Quinn pressed a kiss to your temple as your best friend finished her speech, “To my beautiful, perfect, amazing and wonderful best friend. To the rest of your life with a guy who treks through the snow a day after meeting you. PS your husband did end up having good hair.” You and Quinn erupted into soft giggles as you looked at each other. You smiled up at Quinn, “I so would have written love notes to you in teal glitter pens.” Quinn laughed, “I would trek through a million snowstorms to bring you flowers.”

You melted into a kiss as your mother in law took the stage, “My biggest baby. In your entire life I have only seen you love three things. Your family, hockey and the beautiful woman that is sitting next to you. And none of those things are in order. From the moment I met Y/N it was clear to me that you loved her more than anything else in the world. It’s in the eyes. You, Quinn Hughes have very telling eyes. I could tell by your eyes when you pushed Jack face first down a slide when you were 5 and he was 3. I knew from the look in your eyes the first time you snuck out. And I knew when I saw your eyes light up when Y/N offered to take Jack and Luke to hockey practice so me and your father could have a break.”

Ellen continued as she smiled at you, “I knew that you were long gone, there was no coming back. You were head over heels for her and honestly I think I was a little bit as well. For as long as I remember you and your brothers never liked each others friends or associates. Don’t get me started on girlfriends. But Jack and Luke came home and would not shut up about how much they liked Y/N. I knew then that she was perfect for you and she fit like a missing puzzle piece of our family. So it didn’t come as a shock to me when you called me less than a year later asking me to help you pick out engagement rings.”

Your jaw dropped, you hadn’t known that Quinn had thought about marrying you so quickly. Ellen smiled at you and her eldest son, “To my beautiful son and his even more beautiful wife. Watching you two navigate life together has been one of the most gracious gifts I’ve ever received.” You smiled warmly at your mother in law as you rested your head on your husbands shoulder, “So I’m picking up on the fact that apparently everyone around us including us knew from the beginning of our relationship that we’d end up here. Is it just me?” Quinn kissed your cheek, “Nope, definitely not just you.”

[mossyivy]

This thought just came to my head and I couldn’t help but giggle.

Imagine Chris invites Leon over to watch football on Sundays, and have a bomb ass barbecue of course; like all dads do on the weekends. But you didn’t really mind, it meant the kids would get off your back for a few hours and you could gossip with Chris’s wife.

The two of them would totally be standing by the grill, bud lights in their hands as they watched the TV outside on the patio, yelling at the players like they could hear them.

They’d hit that signature dad pose. Legs slightly spread apart, standing, arms crossed, you know which one I’m talking about.

Also they’d literally compliment each other on their barbecue and stuff. They’d spend hours just trying to smoke a brisket or something, having the typical bro talk while doing it.

- Anon! 🎀

(Chris looks like a Giants fan. No I will not be elaborating further.)

Literally can't decide which apron Chris would be wearing so here's all the options

With the middle one he'd definitely pat his wife's ass every time she walked by. She'd just stop and stare for a second and he'd point to the apron. She'd just nod and keep walking, use to his bullshit by now.

The wives would be talking about bitchy moms at the PTA as the kids play on the Redfield's giant playset. (Like think about a McDonald's play place and old chuck e. cheese playgrounds together. Just minus the child vomit and mildew smell). They're drinking wine, talking among themselves when they overhear their husbands talking.

"She's a beauty! Doesn't throw fits. Let's me do whatever I need to and I don't even need to put in much effort." You two life your heads, listening to Chris until Leon speaks up.

"Where'd you find her?"

"Street corner!" Chris's wife stands up, about to walk over until Leon's wife grabs her arm and forces her back in the seat.

"Some guy was moving and selling the old girl so I scooped her up and brought her home."

He's talking about the fucking grill...

Chris's wife sighs in relief. Feeling her heart return to her body as she chugs the rest of her wine. She was fully ready to knock some sense into that man...

Eventually Lulu walks over and wants to help her dad cook. He'd grab her little apron and make her stand by the side of the grill on a chair and hand his cheese slices for the burgers. Her apron:

To which Leon looks at Violet and asks her why she doesn't help him grill at home while she's getting one of the barrel juices from the kids cooler.

"You gonna pay me daddy?" He's stunned for a second and stares at her.

"What? Why would I pay you?"

"I was told to never do a job for a man who didn't pay me what I deserved."

"Who told you that?"

"Mommy." Leon looks up at his wife who's sipping her wine. Daring him to say a word. He just ruffles Violets he hair up.

"Good advice. Go play." His wife nods, going back to her conversation while Violet runs off.

I'd imagine the game would be a massive deal to the both of them. Like it's their teams against each other and they have a bet going. The game goes into overtime and eventually Leon's team wins and he's so excited he goes to cheer but sees his two girls are out like a light inside the living room of the house so he just tries keeping in his excitement so the kids can sleep until they finish packing up to go home.

[dozing-marshmallow]

Okey, hear me out.

Chris Mclean with a wife that is just THICC. Like she Has a bit of a chubby tummy with big thights, chest, behind etc.

She Has them amazing curves AND also is really sweet and caring towards everyone. You just look at her and you think "How the hell did Chris git with her?" And when you meet her you'r even more confused. Idk I just Imagine Chris be the kind of dude to find any excuse to ley his head on you cuz you just so comfortable and soft <33 and when you fell backpains cuz of you'r breasts he hires the best massagers[or just does it himself ;)]

If you'r uncomfortable its ok. But just let me know then so I don't wait like an idiot.

I hope you'll have a lovely day!

(sorry for aby gramer or spelling errors, English is not my first lenguage)

👀 pixar mom reader confirmed?? I’ll be for real, this was a lot of fun to write, and don’t worry about grammar mistakes! Thank you for the request and may you all enjoy and have a lovely day too~

CHRIS MCLEAN X “THICC”! WIFE! READER HEADCANONS

No one could deny how attractive you were.

Your own husband couldn’t resist you for more than half a day.

“Chriiis, what are you doing?” a question that often left your mouth imbued a different answer each time from Chris.

“You’re comfy, (Y/N).” his usually loud voice blocked by his face sinking as far as he could into your covered cleavage.

"Aren’t you honest!" you gently nudge his head,"But we have an episode to get to in two minutes, so if you just wanna...” you step back, forcing Chris into solitary.

He huffs, before getting an amazing idea- he puts his hand over his eyes,“Oh no! I can’t see where I’m going! Is this...” he zombie walks towards you and readjusts his head back on the natural pillow of your chest before you could properly make a run for it,“I made it to bed! Alright, I’m gonna stay right here until I regain my sight!”

“Chris!” you squall, finding displeasure that he wasn't taking you seriously and wasn't getting off so easily this time, with the hand he used to blind himself now tightened around you,“Come onn, there’ll be plenty of time to do this after we shoot the episode!”

“Just five more minutes, please (Y/N)!”

Not on days like that, albeit you do dress up in a bunny fit for him.

“You know I’m very fertile, Chris.” you press yourself up against him enticingly on his lap,“As fertile as a bunny rabbit can be.”

“I can tell.” his voice sounded composed, but his face was crazy red,“Can never get enough of your legs though. You know that you could choke someone with just one thigh, right?”

My, that sounds dangerous!,“Oh dear... I’m not that heavy, am I?”

“Never! It’s like I always say... Everything about you is awesome. Everything. From the top of your head to the core of your skeleton.”

“Well, that’s relieving...” You feel his hand exploring about on your round back,“How do you like these fishnets? Wore them just for you.”

His hands then squeeze through the space between under your thighs and the top of his lap, masking his extreme prurience with his dismissive,“Duh. Who else would you wear them for?”

With the contestants, you’re very friendly to them.

Like once beginning with brushing Lindsay’s hair,“Lindsay, you have such beautiful hair."

The “dumb princess” giggles,“I knoww! It’s the prettiest bare here!”

From the wide distance in which Chris stood from, he snaps a photo of you tending to Lindsay with his camera,“Aww!”

Seeing that strengthened Cody’s confidence to approach the hot host,“Hey Chris... I need to ask you advice on something.”

“Sure thing dude, what’s up?” Chris grinned, not taking his eyes off his camera.

“It’s..." the geek takes a breath,"How do you get girls?”

“You say exactly what’s on your mind.”

“Well, I do...” his voice quiet,“But every time I speak, Gwen looks at me like I’m a donkey carcass!”

"Sucks to be you, can’t relate one bit.”

Cody was about to whine his way into defending himself had he not fully noticed Chris’ lack of presence in the conversation. He was...taking pictures?

“Uh...why are you taking photos of (Y/N) when you get to see her everyday? If anyone should be taking pictures, it should be me!” He really didn’t think with that one.

“I know dude, but she’s into photography and she reaaaaaally likes having her pictures taken. It’s a favour for her and I.” he suddenly turns to Cody, washing a scowl on his face,“Save your photo taking skills for someone else, okay? Not on my someone who’s like old enough to be your mom. That’s just gross.”

Meanwhile with the girls:

“(Y/NNN), you should really reconsider your marriage.” Beth advises with a glum glaze reflecting off her glasses.

Confusion bubbles your mind,“What do you mean?” you ask, placing Lindsay’s brush down as you began dividing her hair into smaller sections.

“What does Beth mean?“ Sadie repeated like you were crazy,“(Y/N), you’re like a super goddess compared to Chris! He doesn’t deserve you.”

“Yeah, what Sadie said! I was thinking that too!” After Katie spends a minute gushing with Sadie about their unbreakable friendship, she turns back to you with concern,“But for real, you’re WOAH and there, Chris is...” she doesn’t feel the need to finish it, which takes you by surprise.

“Aww, what? He’s way more WOAH than I am!”

“That’s not true...” Bridgette curiously comments,“What do you see in that guy?”

“He makes me laugh.”

Pause.

Courtney’s the first to boom,“Seriously? There’s about ten thousand other men that can do that and not be as horrible as Chris is!”

“Ohh, but Chris isn’t horrible!” you exclaim, dropping Lindsay’s hair to clasp your hands for the moment,“He’s a wonderful guy! The most wonderful man I’ve met in my entire life!” 

“(Y/N)... You’re too nice.” Gwen breathes out exasperated, gothic view floats to your symmetrically defined waist,“Have you tried modelling before?”

“I have, yes, but I was rejected for not fitting the standards.”

“Impossible!” Lindsay flips her head around on impulsive shock. Thanks to her extensive hair length, it barely made a difference to the styling process.

“Possible. They said I wasn’t what they were looking for and told me to surgically change myself before reaching out to them again. As if!” you do the next batch of golden dyed hair,“While the experience wasn’t ideal, it reminded me of something that even as a grown woman I need to be careful of. At the time, I was actually willing to lose a part of me that I was perfectly fine with for the sake of a runaway platform. Doesn’t that sound ridiculous? To do all that for one place? Let this resonate that you as young girls should never feel that you need to ruin what you were naturally given to feel loved or pretty. If something or someone doesn’t accept you for who you are naturally, the relationship was not meant to be and you mustn’t dwell on them. Don’t do things to yourself that aren’t for yourself.”

You had done the final twist in the band of Lindsay’s hair.

...

All they could think by the end of it was

How the hell did Chris get with her.

Back to some private examples with lover man.

“I’m so exhausted!” you fall down in your armchair, groaning to Chris,“I could do with a new bra...”

He smirked,“That one you’re wearing too small?”

“Or I’m too big.” your hands shoot up through your shirt to unclip it, freedom freezing off the tension around your shoulders,“It’s hard to breathe sometimes, you know? These balls of feminine fat hang on my chest doing nothing all day, but weigh me down and kill my back! Sometimes I envy women with smaller boobs, they can move as much as they please and don’t need to spend hours on hours searching for clothes!”

“Yeah uh, I don’t think comparing yourself in this case is gonna help you feel better.” a cheeky glint fires across his pupils, his voice rasping gingerly,“How about a nice massage instead? All it costs is your love!” 

A tease of your own climbs up on your lips,“And by love, you mean a week’s worth of getting to sleep on me?”

“Huh? Oh no, of course not!” Liar. Look at how happy he was to do something for someone else. It was exactly what he wanted.

“Okay, okay.” you laugh and trudge to the bed, preparing to undress yourself.

Like Chris was gonna allow any masseuse, no matter how good they were, to see your body the way he could.

Especially if he could get a personal reward out of it.

You intentionally moaned when his fingers dug deep into your rhomboids.

“Better?” his tone still mischievous and salient.

You nod, sitting up and sighing in relief,“Much better... You’ve improved your technique, haven’t you?”

He scratches the back of his head, smiling sincerely,“You noticed? Well, of course, only the best for you.”

“Aw, aren’t you the best husband anyone can ask for?” you push yourself off the bed and wrap your arms around his neck, kissing his flustered cheek,“Thank you. Now who’s ready for a good night sleep?”

[youcouldmakealife]

LBTE: Jared (149-150)

In which Jared is the last to find out about his sister's new boyfriend, and he takes it just as calmly as you'd expect.

If you would like to follow along the series page is here.

“Um,” Jared says, when he opens the front door of their apartment to find Bryce beaming right at him.

Like, right at him. Like if Jared had swung open the door without paying attention he might have smacked Bryce right in his beautiful face.

Literally ran to the door like a puppy hearing its human come home.

“I’m allowed to train again!” Bryce says.

“Like,” Jared says. “Very carefully?”

“Very carefully,” Bryce confirms, and then, as if he’s trying to completely undermine Jared’s confidence that he’ll take that advice seriously, bolts into the living room at high speed.

A puppy with the zoomies.

Jared catches “—sorry, had to tell Jared—“, which he thinks means Bryce literally dropped everything to tell him, everything presumably being a call with Elaine. Though it could be someone else, Jared supposes. Theoretically.

“—love you too, mom,” Bryce says, then reappears so quickly Jared thinks he bolted right back.

Zoom zoom. (To no one’s surprise, he did — albeit with ‘one sec I think Jared’s home’ first. Elaine didn’t mind)

“Come on!” Bryce says, and that’s how Jared caps off an entire day at the gym by going to another, closer gym, and trying not to helicopter husband, partly because they’re in public, and partly because Bryce might bite his head off if he gets between him and the equipment after a long absence.

Relationship with Jared over, now gym equipment is Bryce’s best friend.

Jared says nothing, even when a piece of penne lands on the carpet. Bryce is too happy about all the complaining he’s doing to deflate him. And it’s not like Jared’s worried Bryce is going to go hungry.

He does, however, make Bryce clean the pasta up, because if he didn’t he’s pretty sure Bryce would literally not even notice it was there. He has to do it again himself after Bryce does a half-assed job and then puts his nose right in his phone. Thank fuck it wasn’t a tomato based sauce or their carpet would be toast. Why do they even have a carpet? They’re clearly not responsible enough for one.

Seriously, carpet should have disqualified the place.

“Uh, J?” Bryce says. “You might want to check twitter?”

“Signing?” Jared asks on his way back from the kitchen. It’s getting around that time where some of the stragglers realise a contract-less season is imminent and take whatever offers are still available. That or teams realise they’re missing a key piece of the picture and start looking into what’s available and affordable. “Trade?”

“Um,” Bryce says, his whole body a wince, which is — concerning. “Just look?”

No fucking way Bryce is telling him, you can’t make him.

“Did they trade Gabe?” Jared asks.

They can’t trade Gabe. Gabe’s franchise, one of only two players from that Cup season still on the Canucks. He’s a fan favourite, and a sizeable contingent of their younger fans don’t remember a team without him. It’s pretty much an open secret he wants to spend his entire career in Vancouver, and that’s mutual. Also Stephen would fight management. Possibly literally.

Also Jared would be sad, so clearly it’s not allowed.

It has to be someone on the team who means more to Jared than they do to Bryce, considering it’s something Bryce thinks Jared needs to see for himself, which leaves Gabe and —

Literally it’s just Gabe.

Also Stephen, but Jared’s pretty sure Brian can’t trade him.

“Nobody’s traded!” Bryce says. “Just. You need to see it? Instead of me telling you about it?”

Not for a million dollars will Bryce tell him.

If people on the internet are talking about how hot they think Jared’s dad is again, he swears to god —

One of my favourite subplots that doesn’t make the main narrative — Don the DILF.

“Erin’s trending again,” Bryce says.

Jared’s sister trending on twitter is really not something that Jared expected to happen twice. Like, even in a big Canadian market, that’s getting slightly absurd for a the sister of a middle-six forward.

Imagine how she feels. (She again thinks it’s funny)

Bryce gently kicks him in the shin. “You might want to look it up.”

“No thanks,” Jared says.

Bryce kicks him again. “Seriously, though.”

“If I do will you stop kicking me?” Jared asks.

“Yeah,” Bryce says.

Please look this up out of your own volition so you won’t shoot Bryce Marcus, Messenger.

“J,” Bryce says. “He’s clearly not going to pick up.”

Jared hits ‘end’ and then ‘call’ for the fourth time.

Surely he will pick up the fourth time you call to yell at him.

“Maybe just leave a message?” Bryce suggests weakly.

“Are you fucking my sister?” Jared asks when the operator’s finished telling him the number he has dialled is currently unavailable, because Julius couldn’t even be bothered to set his voicemail message after literal years in Canada. “And pick up your fucking phone, Halla, I swear to god.”

Bryce regrets his suggestion.

“What,” he says.

“He’s probably not going to want to call you back?” Bryce says. “If you sound like that?”

“Nobody cares what Julius wants!” Jared says.

“Um,” Bryce says. “Are you — okay?”

Bryce increasingly realising Jared was completely blindsided by this and mentally rewinding to every time he thought Jared was just ignoring the relationship out of pettiness.

“You knew about this,” Jared says with dawning realisation.

Bryce looks shifty.

“You knew,” Jared says. “And you let me find out from twitter.”

“I didn’t know know,” Bryce says.

They have not been formally told, but nobody has been hiding this from them. See: several parts ago, when Erin was visiting a friend in Edmonton (nobody told Jared it was a university friend, as he stated, Jared just assumed it must be because he knows Erin didn’t keep in touch with anyone from high school or earlier. Neither Matheson sibling is a big friend maker)

“Jared,” Bryce says, then, from the other side of a slammed door, “Hey, that’s my room!”

Jared is sulking, so by all rights the sulking room now belongs to him.

He’d ask if the picture was misinterpreted, like it was with Bryce, but there really aren’t that many interpretations for a kiss. Sure, some cultures greet one another with kisses, but as far as Jared is aware, the Finns are not one of them, and neither are the Mathesons.

Ah yes, the famed Matheson culture. Signs of affection are ribbing, mockery, and snide.

And even if a kiss on the mouth was a Finnish greeting, it’d be one Julius would pointedly not do. Julius doesn’t like participating in things.

This is so accurate but hilarious from Jared because it’s one of the reasons they get along so well.

He’s not your liney anymore. Erin replies. P sure both your current lineys are already taken.

Also he’s literally on a rival team now? That’s like the anti-liney.

Ene-liney.

So you’re not denying it. Jared texts. He originally ended the text an exclamation mark, but that looked too dramatic. He’s fine. He’s chill.

So you’re not denying it!

Is this a thing? Jared writes, after deleting the two extra question marks that somehow popped up.

Is this a thing???

How long has this been a thing? Jared asks.

Officially? Like two weeks.

Before this there was some hanging out. But the euphemism-y kind of hanging out. And some texting while Julius was away. But Julius came back from Finland early, even before it was ‘officially’, which makes it a full-on Thing.

Unofficially? Jared asks.

Idk. You know how it is, Erin replies.

Jared does not know how it is. He can’t even begin to guess what she’s referring to, he has so little awareness of how it is. He met Bryce and that was it for him. Well. Give or take a few weeks and a minor grudge.

Oh we’re calling it a minor grudge now?

Wait no you don’t you were engaged at my age hahaha

Erin obviously knows Jared was engaged at nineteen, and gave him shit for it at the time (her ‘I can’t believe you’re going to be a child bride’ is one of my favourite lines in the entire series) but now that she’s nineteen herself?

His phone lights up with another text, which is just hahahahahaha and crying laughing emojis.

She’s dying what were they THINKING.

“Can I come in?” Bryce asks meekly.

“Fine,” Jared says, since it’s not like he’s talking to Erin anymore. Though he doesn’t know why Bryce would want to. This is the sulking room, and Bryce doesn’t seem sulky about this at all.

Only Big Sulky Babies allowed.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you?” Bryce says, perching on the bed beside Jared as Jared tries to forcibly wipe his brain clean. “I just — kind of thought it was something we both knew but we were like, pretending we didn’t know so you could ignore it forever.”

Look at Bryce supportively pretend something doesn’t exist because he fears for Jared’s sanity.

“Don and I are cool now,” Bryce says. “Sort of. Mostly. He hasn’t insulted me to my face in like – a while. Huh. That’s a good sign.”

Don did mean it about Bryce being a member of the family after he married Jared. You don’t insult family. Mock? Sure. Tease? Absolutely. But insult? Absolutely not.

“Why didn’t someone actually say ‘hey Jared, you do know this is a thing, right?’” Jared asks. His immediate family and Julius all know that Jared can be, well —

Someone should have made sure he was aware, is the point.

“I honestly think Erin just wanted to see how long it’d take you to figure it out if no one actually said ‘hey Jared, Erin and Julius are dating’,” Bryce says. “And apparently the answer was a picture on twitter?”

Everyone assumed Jared already knew and was pointedly ignoring it. Except Erin. She knew that Jared would yell at her or Julius when he knew, and therefore he was still in the dark.

Bryce looks shifty again. “Ash told me that Erin said that?”

Which means Ash knows, obviously. And that Ash and Bryce have discussed this. So Chaz must know. And Maia. Not that babies know things, just —

Don’t worry, Jared, I promise Maia didn’t know before you.

Fucking Oilers fans found out about this before Jared did. Flames fans did.

He doesn’t know why, but the fact Flames fans knew this before Jared did makes this so much worse than if it was just Oilers fans.

This is simultaneously a weird thing to get stuck on, yet also totally understandable. Oilers fans are Julius fans. Flames fans are Julius haters. But also may remember Erin from Bryce drama. Also fuck Flames fans, all Jared’s homies hate Flames fans.

Jared’s phone buzzes from where he tossed it after the last emoji round. He bets it’s more hahahahas. Possibly some skulls. Erin likes to die laughing.

She can’t hahaha any longer, she’s already dead from laughing.

150. Affront

Jared thinks people are supposed to be afraid of death. He’s pretty sure that’s common, reasonable. When threatened with death, people should feel fear. But what is Julius Halla doing right now? He’s laughing. At Jared.

He basically lived with you, Jared, he knows just how little true bite there is in you.

“Stop laughing,” Jared hisses. “You traitor.”

“Who am I a traitor to,” Julius says. He sounds vaguely curious, like someone who’s been accused of something ludicrous, and is interested to see how you came to that conclusion. Which is rich, for a traitor.

But who is he a traitor TO, Jared?

“Me!” Jared says. “And friendship! And lineys! And — there’s a code!”

I do enjoy Jared continually using Julius being his liney as a reason when they have now been divisional rivals longer than they were ever linemates.

“You think it’s the definition of toxic masculinity,” Julius says. “And that it frequently treats women as objects and prizes to be won, and also acts like showing affection towards your friends is gay. And you’re gay, and you think showing affection is disgusting, so obviously there is no connection.”

He listens <3

“She’s like, ten!” Jared says. “She’s way too young for you.”

Julius is very quiet. “How much older than you is—“

There’s about a two and a half year age difference between Erin and Julius. Bryce and Jared’s is just shy of four years. As Julius well knows, the bastard.

“Eating my food and dating my sister,” Jared says. “Who is a child.”

“How old were you when you got engaged?” Julius asks.

Jared can only an inarticulate sound of rage in answer, because Julius knows exactly how old he was when he got engaged.

The answer is ‘exactly as old as Erin is now’. As Julius is well aware, the BASTARD. Also, a missing word, my bad.

“Wait,” Jared says, suddenly horrified. More horrified. “You’re not engaged, are you?”

“No!” Julius says, sounding equally horrified.

This question isn’t the reason Julius doesn’t want to get married, but it certainly did not help.

“How did this even happen,” Jared moans. “Wait. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know anything. Why didn’t you tell me.”

This feels like a trick question.

“I wanted to wait to tell you in person,” Julius says. “Because I was concerned you’d be, well. You know.”

People keep telling Jared he knows things that he does not know.

“I don’t know,” he says.

“Hysterical,” Julius says.

“I am not hysterical!” Jared says.

This might be more believable if Jared hadn’t shrieked that last bit.

The fact Bryce bursts out laughing in the living room contradicts that statement, but Julius can’t hear him. And maybe it’s coincidental laughter. Maybe Bryce is watching something funny. Because Jared is not hysterical.

“Wait, Erin didn’t think I’d be hysterical?” Jared says.

Look, Jared may deny he’s hysterical, but also — why didn’t Erin think he’d be hysterical? Even if he isn’t. Because he is not. But also — really?

For all of Erin’s many…many…many faults, an inability to predict Jared’s behaviour is unfortunately not one of them. She used her predictive ability for blackmail purposes way too much when they were younger, always caught him in the act when he was breaking the few house rules he ever broke then threatened to snitch if Jared didn’t do shit for her. He made her so many grilled cheese sandwiches. To this day he associates grilled cheese with smug smiles and extortion.

Admission of hysteria. Also Jared makes an excellent grilled cheese sandwich. Worth surveillance for blackmail purposes for sure.

“But I was in Finland at the beginning of summer,” Julius says. “And then Bryce injured his shoulder, and you went to Vancouver, and there was no good time. And then twitter.”

Julius, if asked, would say they were a thing months earlier than Erin would. But they had not yet defined the relationship.

“She’s fine,” Julius says. “She thinks it’s funny.”

He sounds faintly scandalised. Which is understandable, because it’s not funny.

“Did you tell her it’s not funny,” Jared says.

“I did,” Julius says. “She says she gets to decide if it’s funny or not.”

“But it’s not funny,” Jared says.

“I know,” Julius says.

Counterpoint from Erin: it’s fucking hilarious, you’re both just boring.

“Don’t like —“ Jared says, then pauses, because there are a lot of different demands warring in him right now. “That’s my sister, Halla.”

“I know,” Julius says. “Would it help if I told you I have…strong…feelings—“

“Gross,” Jared says. “Stop talking.”

“Okay,” Julius says, sounding greatly relieved.

I love their friendship. Every time feelings are involved they both react like cats getting sprayed with water.

“No,” Jared says. “Obviously it is. Did you know that they were together?”

There’s a silence.

“Mom?” Jared says.

“…did you not?” his mom asks. “Jared!”

NOBODY was hiding this from Jared. Nobody.

“Erin’s spent more time in Edmonton than Calgary since her semester ended,” mom says.

“She has a friend there,” Jared says, then, “Oh.”

Yes.

There's only one direct reference to Erin and Julius’ relationship before Jared finds out in the series, because I had to ride a careful line there, as Jared hadn’t noticed anything, so his POV wouldn’t really reflect the information he wasn’t paying attention to.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jared demands. ‘Friend’ is not telling him. ‘Friend’ is a euphemism you use when the other person already knows.

“I thought you knew!” his mom says. “And were just immaturely pretending that as long as you didn’t acknowledge it then it wasn’t actually happening!”

Jared thinks it might be a concerning sign that the two people who know him best both assume he thinks that if he pretends something hard enough, it won’t happen.

Yes that might indicate something about you, Jared.

“Yes!” Jared says. “Why aren’t you mad about this? Your daughter’s dating a hockey player. A hockey player. And you’re letting her?”

“You’re a hockey player, Jared,” his mom says. “As is your husband. And literally all of your friends.”

This isn’t exactly Grace’s mom upon finding out she was dating Raf.

“That’s just people in general, sweetie,” his mom says. “And we know Julius is a nice young man.”

“He is not,” Jared says. Julius is many things, but he is not nice.

“You know what I mean by nice, Jared,” his mom says.

He’s not a nice boy, but he is a good one. Also he speaks Matheson quite fluently.

“You can’t just assume that I like him.”

“Jared,” his mom says. “You love that boy. You brought him home for Christmas.”

“Out of the kindness of my heart,” Jared says.

“You brought home someone you don’t like for Christmas out of the kindness of your heart,” his mom says. “And then you invited him to your wedding. As one of the handful of guests who wasn’t immediately related to you or Bryce. Out of the kindness of your heart.”

Jared, we all know there is not even close to that much kindness in your heart.

“Obviously you like him, or he wouldn’t be one of your best friends,” his mom says. “And since you’re choosy about who you’re friends with, that means a lot. You have extremely good taste in friends, when you actually bother to make them.”

Jared picks at the hem of his shorts.

Jared thinks it’s quite rude for his mom to use facts and reason against him when he is intent on being unreasonable.

“Gross, love,” Jared says.

“I won’t tell Erin you love her, I promise,” his mom says.

“Good,” Jared says. “Ew.”

How dare anyone say he loves his (demon) sister.

“Jared,” his mom says. “Are you making this all about you?”

“No,” Jared says.

“Jared,” his mom says.

“Well it’s a little bit about me, isn’t it!” Jared says. “He’s my friend. And liney.”

“Former liney,” his mom says. Everyone’s so fixated on that part. Liney status can last past being teammates. Look at Jared and Chaz: linemates for life. Even though Bryce subsequently stole Chaz a little, despite the fact they played on completely different lines on the Flames. Not that it’s stealing. Couples share.

Jared can share. Look at how good Jared is at sharing. He only holds Bryce befriending Chaz against him a little, years down the line. That’s sharing.

Eventually Julius is going to get exposed to Erin’s sparkling personality.

He’s had some exposure therapy, rooming with Jared.

Jared would mention that long-distance relationships are highly prone to failure, but he’s pretty sure mom would bring up how much of his relationship with Bryce involved long-distance, and Jared is frankly sick of people reminding him of his own extremely successful relationship, and not letting him be hypocritical.

What bullshit.

He hates arguing with his mom. It’s like arguing with himself, except worse, because at least when he argues with himself, he always technically wins.

The best kind of argument.

“You remind me so much of your dad right now,” mom says.

“Mom!” Jared says.

“A little Don in the making,” his mom says. “He’d be so proud.”

Jared tries to tell her to take it back, but all he can manage is an inarticulate sound of rage. Again.

The cruelest thing you could say to him.

“I got Thai from that place on Burrard you really like,” Bryce says, then, all in a rush, “Sorry for assuming you knew about Julius and Erin and were just pretending you didn’t instead of like, actually not knowing. If I knew you actually didn’t know I would have told you. Or made Erin tell you because it wouldn’t be my place to tell you or. Are you mad at me?”

Sala Thai, for anyone curious. Also, poor Bryce. He really did think Jared knew.

“Did you get me soup to shut me up?” Jared asks.

“I got you it because it’s your favourite?” Bryce says, looking both hurt and confused.

Poor, poor Bryce.

“—and doesn’t he realise what Erin’s like?” Jared says. “Because he is going to be unpleasantly surprised when he gets to know her a little better.”

“Uh,” Bryce says. “I think he’s had a pretty good preview of what Erin’s like?”

BRYCE, NO. I mean, you are 100% correct, but NO.

“We are nothing alike,” Jared says.

“Erin made the exact same face when I said that,” Bryce says. “Like. That’s almost creepy.”

“You’ve said this to her?” Jared says.

“Yeah, because you’re both—“ Bryce says, then, “Ow! She did that too!”

Why do Mathesons keep smacking Bryce’s arm when he tells them the truth?

“We’re nothing alike,” Jared mutters.

Bryce says nothing, but he’s got this look on his face like ‘I’m humouring you right now by not arguing, but you know and I know that you’re full of shit’.

“Stop — looking at me with that face,” Jared says.

Bryce huffs out a laugh. “Erin said—“

Jared can’t hear him.

“Jared,” Bryce says, muffled. “Jared, I know you can hear me.”

Jared cannot.

Erin wasn’t immature enough to put her hands over her ears though, that one’s all Jared.

“Take it back,” Jared says.

“No,” Bryce says. “I’m not pretending something isn’t true just because you don’t like it, that’s ridiculous.”

Jared picks up his noodles.

“I got you soup,” Bryce says sadly as Jared stomps right back to the sulking room, this time with dinner.

Poor, poor Bryce.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: DECEMBER 2023

what's up gamers!!!! 2023 is over, and before I can make a post reflecting on every book I read I need to talk specifically about what I was reading in December. I was lucky enough to end the year coming out of a pretty dire depressive fug, and I celebrated by going buckwild reading as much as possible and placing so many holds at the local library that I will, probably, come to regret any day now. such is the price of being in love with life again, I guess!

let's talk about it!!!

what I read:

Buffalo is the New Buffalo (Chelsea Vowel, 2022) - a collection of Métis speculative fiction short stories. Vowel's stories didn't always quite land for me, feeling as if they would benefit from another round or two of revisions and a bit of elaboration, but even when they fell a little flat the concepts were promising. I especially adored the story "Michif Man," in which a mid-twentieth century Métis man is gored by a radioactive buffalo and develops strange powers that he uses to defend his community, told through the fascinating framing device of a 21st century scholar's speech making a case for Michif Man's existence. I also really liked the closing story, "Unsettled," which felt like really cool old school sci-fi: five clashing characters alone burdened with the responsibility of tending to the rest of humanity frozen in stasis, with each character serving as a mouthpiece for a vastly different perspective and set of values about their Indigenous identity. hit or miss collection for me, but the hits hit much harder than the misses missed.

The Bandit Queens (Parini Schroff, 2023) - this book was genuinely so so hard to put down!!! the story follows a group of women in a small Indian village as they decide to start solving problems by murdering their husbands, turning to Geeta - whose widely believed to have killed her own husband years ago - for advice. the only problem is that Geeta didn't kill him, he just walked out on her. and now she's caught in a RAPIDLY tangling web of murder, blackmail, and hidden motives among women she's never let herself get close to. it's a dark comedy, to be sure, but also surprisingly heartfelt, exploring the countless factors - gender, class, caste, religion, motherhood, beauty - that keep Geeta and the other women apart as well as the forces powerful enough to pull them together. it's a book about the power of friendship and also the power of going ape shit.

Small Game (Blair Braverman, 2022) - a VERY different book from Bandit Queens on every level, but equally hard to put down! Braverman is something of a professional wilderness survivor, and decided to write a story about a similarly experienced young woman, Mara, signing up for a survival-themed reality show where everything goes wrong. one day the camera crew simply fails to show up, and everything shifts when the contestants are forced to shift from surviving for show to actually fighting for their lives. a book that's gross and tender in equal amounts; Braverman is a very good storyteller and I'm strongly looking forward to anything else she puts out.

Are You My Mother? (Alison Bechdel, 2012) - a gorgeously drawn and terrifyingly vulnerable graphic memoir. a spectacularly brave endeavor; while I would never discount the tremendous artistry of Bechdel's more well-known Fun Home, I cannot imagine the terror of writing something like this about my mother when she's still alive to read it. absolutely ruinous if you yourself have any remotely complicated feelings about your mother, I will tell you that much!!!!

The Heart Principle (Helen Hoang, 2021) - Helen Hoang is so good that I didn't even count this as my romance novel of the month; this was just a book that I sincerely wanted to read. apparently quite a few reviewers on goodreads whined about how this shouldn't qualify as a romance novel because it's too sad, to which I say those people are fucking wieners. Heart Principle gets heavy, sure, with protagonist Anna navigating the sudden illness and death of her elderly father, but at the same time she's finding happiness and new ways to be herself and having the best sex of her life with resident hottie Quan, who's been a gem of a supporting character in this series since Kiss Quotient. it gets sad as hell, for sure, but it's also a mature, touching, and sexy story of two people developing a bond that encourages them both to embrace life and grow together. also, hi, Anna finding out she's autistic is SUCH a source of joy and eventual self confidence for her and it's SO nice to read.

Out There Screaming: An Anthology of New Black Horror (ed. Jordan Peele, 2023) - listen. it's a very good short story collection, filled to the bursting with some of the best writers in the game. there are very few stinkers in the bunch, which is really impressive for a collection with so many stories. but. it very seldom felt properly... scary? spooky, creepy, mysterious, supernatural, sure. but I want to be scared!!!! fuck me up!!! Us got under my skin and scared me in a way that I still think about years later, and I was expecting something similar from an anthology edited by Jordan Peele. so on that note I would actually really strongly recommend this is you like being a little spooked but not terrified!

Kiss Her Once for Me (Alison Cochrun, 2022) - this one was the romance novel of the month, voted on by my patrons, and incidentally my patrons should go to prison. listen. this book sucks shit. god, this protagonist sucks. I know the point of this kind of story is for characters to start in a place where they're flawed and you want to see them improve as people, but Ellie is just so endlessly whiny that I don't want to see her improve, I want her to shut the fuck up and stop using her anxiety as an excuse to be wildly unpleasant to everyone else. the chemistry between the main characters was what I call the "because I said so" variety, by which I mean there was no chemistry despite the narrative insisting repeatedly that there definitely was. (incidentally, Ellie had way better chemistry with the man she was fake engaged to, meaning I was actually really rooting for the hetero option for once.) also Cochrun is apparently a huge swiftie and referenced Taylor Swift a truly unwell amount of times in this book. dismal all around.

Mammoths at the Gates (Nghi Vo, 2023) - Nghi Vo can do absolutely no wrong and is one of the authors whose new releases I will ALWAYS be showing up for. Mammoths at the Gates is the latest in the Singing Hills Cycle of novellas, and sees the cleric Chih leaving their quest for stories in order to return home to Singing Hills Abbey after years on the road. they're excited to be home, but nothing is as peaceful as they'd have hoped: an old friend has been promoted, straining their relationship, and a beloved mentor has died, creating a complication when their family come to lay claim to the body. it's a book about death in the best way, by which I mean it's very much a book about life, and I read it all in one delightful morning racing to the gentle shock of the ending.

what am I reading now?

God: A Biography (Jack Miles, 1995) - this is a book rec I scooped from Oh No Ross and Carrie and it is. such a weird reading experience, but I'm enjoying it! this God dude is nuts!

Masters of Death (Olivie Blake, 2018) - I'm not very far into this book yet, and I can't decide if the prose is fun or annoying. maybe both!

what's next: a list of books I have on hold

Patternmaster (Octavia Butler)

Laziness Does Not Exist (Devon Price)

Piñata (Leopoldo Gout)

[maissafespace]

But I want you.

Ayato Kirishima x Reader

Synopsis: when the princess acts on her attraction for her royal knight, the only thing she can do is hope for all to go well.

Request: hello i will sell my soul for any sort of ayato kirishima content you can think of, im starving and i have consumed everything to be found on tumblr its unhealthy

Warnings: forbidden relatiosnhip. knight!ayato, princess!reader. nsfw. brat!reader, experienced!ayato, loss of virginity, fingering, oral (male receiving), scratching, degradation kink, manhandling, unprotected sex, creampie. light angst.

A/n: I don't know what this is, but I've never read Ayato outside of canon so I wanted to try, maybe make this an AU of which I will do other stories about just because lol but i agree i was starving for Ayato content as well anon, so i hope you like it really! I tried my best lol XD

Masterlist - Masterpost

As the princess of the kingdom who just reached legal age, your coming of age ball would occur soon for all guests to arrive and so would the different amount of wealthy men asking for your hand in marriage in order to also better their status and position in society.

You weren't really consulted on the proposals, it was up to your parents, mostly your mother to look over the most convenient proposal.

So, you had given up on it for quite a while, your caretaker and ladies in waiting had started to explained the duties you would need to satisfy as a wife and while it was a bit embarrassing at first, those deeds soon were pestering your mind day and night.

For a single man that was always near you.

Ayato Kirishima had entered and trained for the knighthood for his entire life, he was under the responsibility of your family's butler so he entered the palace quite young, only two years your senior.

It had started years ago as a mere crush on the boy, a blessing upon you since the window of your room would face the training grounds, your young self would look out for hours to see the boy train, drenched in sweat and panting with a flushed body.

You tried to stay away for some time, never look at him by your window anymore, occupying yourself in activities that would have you on the complete opposite sides of the palace. But he never left entirely, he would send those smiles that had your heart flutter, he'd help you around and more than once was assigned as your knight during trips, leaving him closer than ever.

With time that crush instead of fading became heavier, deeper and in some way worse when he seemed to exchange the interest positively. He’d talk to you, help you, touch you and made you laugh, he was always close.

That is why, right now, you found yourself in your room during the night trying to keep your composure and not touch yourself with all the knowledge that was bestowed upon you and think about your future husband being him.

It had to fade away as soon as possible, as a heir you knew the possibility of him ever being a match was below zero, unfortunately.

Your infatuation had to disappear.

Asking friends for advice was the next step, how to get a man out of your head, or a desire as you told them, and probably the worse advice was given to you. One that made you doubt the friendships you had.

To have him and throw away, experience the desire to finally having the curiosity satisfied and never think about it anymore.

For a week that thought never left your mind, you would pass by him, he would bow but the only thought you had was to savor those lips, feel them on your skin, while your bodies united as one.

As your body submerged under the hot tub, feeling that warmth and crave deep in you, it wasn't something you could ignore anymore, it was a years in the building love you had for him, his abilties, his beauty and his personality.

Standing up from the tub, water drenched down your body and hair, now wet and shining with the oils your skin was washed with. Hinami, helped you with your robe and was going to do the same for your hair before you stepped away from her, back to the same window you stayed at a lot in your youth.

"Hinami." You called her attention abruptly.

"Yes, my lady."

"Call Ayato Kirishima, I need to discuss something urgent with him." You said, and as Hinami nodded and exited the room, a bit of uneasiness and excitement built up in your core.

Your current robe was discarded for a new one, a sheer transparent robe that left nothing to the imagination. Your nipples were peeking against the fabric as well, your bosom stuck out barely covered by the hair falling on the front.

Minutes passed slow, spent on looking yourself in the mirror to make sure everything was as good as it was seducing somehow. Your heart stopped for a moment when the door was knocked at and Hinami's voice was faintly heard.

"Let Ayato in and leave us, Hinami, I'll call for you later if needed." You yelled from the bathroom with composure.

The door clicked open and close, the sound of boots gracing your ears as you finally let go of your agitation and moved towards your room once again.

"Princess, Hinami told me I was needed for an urgent matter but I was not aware of any- " When his eyes fell upon you, his face hardened in a way, his jaw was prominent and his eyes seemed to glare at you rather than be pleased by the sight.

It didn't diminish the thrill in you. Walking up to him at mere centimeters of distance with an innocent smile that contradicted the rest of your body.

"It is indeed something urgent. You see, recently I've been informed time and time again of certain duties- sigh- for my imminent marriage. Though, these were referred to me by women, I was quite curious on a male perspective. Who would be better than you, my loyal knight?" You smiled at him, hands behind your back, popping your chest out a little.

His eyes slightly widened at the implications of your words. Going back to their stoic and neutral gaze seconds later. "I am sure you were already told enough, my lady. I cannot cross more lines than I already am by being here."

"I invited you here. You're not crossing any line that I did not ask you to. But if I am of incovenience, I will find someone else to help me out-"

"What is it that you need?" His voice was harsher and colder, your thighs clenched together at the tone and his eyes seem to register it after all.

"I need to learn the ways to properly pleasure a man, if you could teach me, I know you're experienced in women, it shouldn't be different to take me-" Your jaw hurt as his fingers pressed against it, lifitng you towards him, close to his face where your noses would almost touch.

"You are the princess, my lady, what you are asking is for me to treat you like a common whore, is that what you want?" Your head moved on its own, nodding for him, to have him as soon as possible, to let your desire flow out freely without hiding.

His lips crashed against yours right after, he held you hardly as his mouth moved roughly, a kiss that was reciprocated, sloppy and messy at the amount of need behind the both of you.

Your body and his felt burning against one another, your back arched, and your sounds began to echo in the room along the smacking of your lips, your chest pressed against his, heat pooled in you both at the skin contact separated with only two layers of clothing.

Nipples could be felt through the sheer robe, they hardened, hands started to fall around the hems of the fabrics, the robe being the first hitting the ground and his cotton training shirt following behind, letting you get a close up of the body you eyed every day for years, the body you wanted to feel the warmth of.

Hands roamed around, your on his chest, back and shoulders while his grabbed onto your every flesh possessively, gripping on your waist, hips, neck, nape, ass… he seemed like he wanted to memorize everything about it.

“Ayato-“ Whispering his name let you hear his groans out loud. You wanted to know for how long he wanted you as well, how he fantasized about you just as you did for him to react this way to your touch, to your voice…

His bulge was evident against your lower stomach, founding the courage and guided by your lust, your hand rubbed it, he pulled away from you hissing, squeezing a bit when the burning sensation of your scalp came as he pulled you from your hair.

It wasn’t pain, not at all that came with the action, but instead your thighs were squeezing together, trying to alleviate the need of him.

He noticed it, he noticed you, just like he always did all these years. A small smirk came onto his face, your flushed face, red and pink, with the glossy look in your eyes made him feel power over the member of royalty before him, let his ego being inflated.

“Down to your knees.” He pushed you down, his fingers going to the string of his pants, your mouth watered for him. “You asked for this, my princess. How to pleasure a man, how to be pleasured as a whore…” He leaned to kiss your lips once more before pushing into your mouth.

The taste passed any importance, your head felt dizzy as his hands guided your head back and forth down his length, your tongue moved around him, your moans mixing with his hisses and groans.

Millions of thoughts went through his mind, how did the sheltered princess that never touched a man, suck him off like a professional woman from the brothels. How did she lose all her innocence in his eyes with a single sight of her body.

As his hands cupped your face, he made you look up at him, your eyes close to tearing up but he had to stop to keep himself on edge at least. He groaned loudly, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs almost gently before his hips thrusted forward.

You couldn’t help but gag, the tears threatening to fall down, were now rolling down your cheeks, your fingers dug into his legs for you to have something to latch on.

The roughness was arousing, he could do anything to you right now, your head wasn’t registering much. You just wanted him, as your first and maybe as your only one.

When he pulled out of your mouth, you were gasping for hair, your hands falling on the ground, essentially in a doggy position, your mouth hung open waiting for him, he couldn’t help but want to see your body trembling from an orgasm, have you under his complete control.

He kneeled in front of you, kissing your lips that still tasted of him with a devilish smile, lifting you up from your jaw and walking to your bed, bodies climbing and falling onto the silky sheets. Expensive fabrics that would now be tainted of you two.

His body hovered yours, lips connecting with his again, muffling down the moans that now escaped you as his fingers found their way to your intimacy.

Your legs tried to squeeze together at first, but were roughly opened up, shamefully spread on for anyone that could enter the room to look at you and how his fingers started to pump in and out of you.

One of your hand was gripping on the bed, moaning at the cold but pleasant feeling of his fingers inside of you, his thumb circling and pressing against your clit wonderfully, mixed with the squelching sound of your juices. “Ayato, Ayato, please-“ You whimpered against his lips.

“Wet like a slut, moaning like a bitch for me, is this what you did every day when looking at me from afar…” His voice was rough against your ear, lips against the lobe sending shivers down your spine. “Don’t think I’ve never noticed you. Did you touch yourself thinking of me? Calling for me? Just like you are doing now.” You could feel the smirk at his lips.

But you couldn’t do much, with his words and his actions he was sending you into a blurry minded state. You just nodded, whimpering as you felt the knot sensation in your core, arching your back a little, you knew he knew. He pressured more, pumping faster and deeper, rubbing down till you cried out his name.

You were scratching his back as he continued through your orgasm, your legs were spasming, but he chuckled. Pulling his fingers out of you and spreading your cum on your lower stomach and then leading them to your mouth to suck on.

That arousal heightened once again, your eyes were still full of lust and love. You reached out for his face, kissing him gently contrarily to all previous actions, he countered with the same gentleness, his tongue played with yours, his hand caressed your skin.

“Are you sure of this now?” He whispered asked you, there was a hint of concern in his eyes.

“Please, Ayato, I want it to be you.” Your voice cracked at the confession. He kissed you then, deeply and passionately. Spreading your legs apart once again as he positioned himself between them.

The tip of his cock slapped against your still sensitive clit, whining against his mouth you felt him rub himself around, picking up the natural lube. “It may hurt a little-“ He said lowly, you barely heard him as he thrusted in slowly.

Your arms wrapped around him tightly, as your legs caged him with you as he sunk himself into you slowly. He groaned at the tightness and you let a few moans out of slight pain and pleasure. Feeling stretched open was a bit of a vague statement, it was not describable, even less when he started moving.

He pulled away from you, sitting up, looking down at your body, covered in love bites, hickeys and marks, he admired the disheveled form of you, it was perfect, he wanted to be the only one allowed to see this but it wasn’t something practical so he would just memorize it and enjoy this single time he’d have with you.

His arm wrapped around your under thigh, his other hand going to wrap itself around your neck as he accelerated his thrusts, smashing deeper and louder, noises bounced around the room, for everyone to probably hear the slapping of your skin to one another.

“My little whore is about to cum… already, I can feel you around me. Fuck, fuck-“ your walls were doing things to him. He let go of your leg, leaning over you still holding you around your throat.

Taking the chance your legs wrapped around his waist, you didn’t want him to ever separate from you and he held much of the same thought but it was far more complicated.

With his thrusts mere seconds passed before you came, he was close now as well as he fucked you through it, pussy that tried to milk him. He gritted his teeth in frustration. “Let go, princess.” He said with a mean tone. “Y/N. Let go, I’m going to cum.” He warned, he was stern trying to pull away, but your conscious state of mind and your fucked out state of mind wouldn’t let him. You wanted all of him, your eyes screamed it and instead of stopping his hips continued.

“I-Inside-“ Your mouth was shut by his, wrapping your arms around him, pulling him down against your body as he finally went sloppier till he pushed deep, grunting against your mouth as he emptied himself in you while your third orgasm hit.

You felt like puddle, never in your life had you felt such pleasure.

The knight on the other hand was pushing down the voice that was telling him how much he had fucked up right then. But nothing felt this satisfying in a long time, this was a huge risk that made the thrill even more exciting and arousing.

He pulled out, he chuckled at your face distraught at the thought of him just leaving. Thoughts that disappeared as he turned you around, getting on your hands and knees, ass up and back arched as he pushed back in.

Holding you at your waist and hips, thrusting as if it wasn’t your first night, it felt like he was using your body, stuffing you with him. He was treating you like he said he would, and as you moved your hips back into his hungry for more, he continued spouting filth about you.

Grabbing at your shoulders to thrust deeper.

A few more orgasms happened till late at night, only once it was him cumming somewhere that wasn’t in you. Positions after positions, rough with breaks of gentleness, where you’d just hold each other and kiss. Making up for all the time you didn’t let yourself act on your attraction for him.

Falling into your slumber wasn’t something you were surprised but waking up without him was. You sat up abruptly when you couldn’t feel him beside you anymore, looking around the room till relaxing at the sight of him in front of the chimney.

The ache everywhere in your body didn’t matter, your feet tapped rapidly till your body only covered by his shirt hugged the back of his.

“I was scared you had left.” You mumbled against his skin.

He remained silent for a while. “You know we fucked up, right?” His voice was a big emotionless, you flinched a little but tightened your hold around him. “Doesn’t matter if I wanted it or you did.. fuck.”

He sighed, a hand going through his hair while your heart was clenching in fear of his words, not because of the risk but because he could distance himself from you. Tears were close to falling from your eyes.

“I’m sorry… Ayato, I’m sorry.” You could say the only thing that could repair things, that could have him stay.

“Apologies won’t do much, princess.”

You rounded him, getting in front of him, not letting his eyes move from yours, you looked up at him, his hand automatically moved to your cheek, he was comforting you when it should’ve been the other way around.

Millions of feelings were flashing through both of your eyes, consequences would come and it could be in a form of a tiny human being or harsh punishment or maybe luck would be on your side and nothing would happen.

He leaned in, kissing you once more. “You will be arranged to marry in no time. This stunt was avoidable for both of us but you couldn’t help yourself, so you’re dragging me down with you.” He continued to peck your lips, hands holding around your waist.

“Stay with me.” You whispered to him.

“Is that an order?” Your stomach dropped looking at empty eyes, feeling the disappointment and guilt pooling up, a one night stand or a forceful relationship wasn’t what you wanted.

Your arms fell from his body, walking away from him, you threw his shirt back, leaving you bare without any care of it, climbing back into your bed. You said a single word out loud. “Leave.”

He stood there, hair covering his face, sighing heavily as he retrieved his shirt. He contemplated but went to you, laying a kiss on the top of your head as you hid under the sheets.

He didn’t say anything, he would suppress his feelings, the adrenaline was gone, reality sunk back in and too many things were at stake, it wasn’t too late to just stop it before it could go even deeper.

The door opened and closed behind him, that was when you could let the little whimpers out, muffling the cries, now it was on you to explain the marks on your body to the maids, it was on you to look after your heart as it was crashed and broken for the man that just left after showing all his emotions all night and taking the innocence you were allowing him to take.

You didn’t close your eyes till the morning after in hopes for him to come back to you and hold you.

[merv606]

These Puritan asks and replies are killing me. So hot. So...

What if one day Terry has to pick Daniel up from a Omega Wives gathering or church aligned gathering because Daniel's been in a cat fight?!

Imagine some of the omegas are discussing their Alphas and Daniel, bless the little kitty, shares that his Alpha uses his mouth to pleasure him. He thinks they're all friends but of course the other omegas are jealous of him because he's so young and beautiful and has such a handsome, rich Alpha. One omega makes a comment, insulting Terry.

Daniel, very uncharacteristically, lashes out. He's horrified by his actions and of course he didn't really harm the other omega, maybe a scratch, but it all ends in lots of tears and shame.

Terry's quiet and stony faced as he picks Daniel up and takes him home, Daniel trying hard not to cry until they get inside. He's about to burst into tears when he sees Terry's smirk which turns into full blown laughter.

"My baby," Terry chuckles, kissing his boy, "you got into a kitten fight defending me, huh? I didn't know you had it in you, sweetheart."

Daniel's flushed and enjoying the praise, starting to smile back.

"You're the best Alpha ever, the best husband," Daniel insists, "they said... Sir, they - "

"Ssh," Terry smiles, "who cares? They're jealous of us. Look at you. They've got crusty old Alphas who can't even get it up. You're the most beautiful, the sweetest," and he gently puts his hand between Daniel's legs, feeling the never-ending heat there, "with the most fertile, tightest, juiciest cunt. Fuck them."

Daniel blushes at his husband's filthy words before enjoying Terry's talented hands and tongue ;)

And to think - he didn’t even tell them that while they were waiting for the Doctor’s go ahead after Sam was born, Terry takes his other hole 😏

I mentioned in another ask that I answered earlier today:

Some omegas whisper about how much they don’t like the actual act of conception. That is is something to be endured and Daniel worries if this means he’s wrong; that he loves it so much.

Terry though, reassures him. That he should love it - that it means Terry is going his job as his alpha - and how his reaction please Terry greatly. It feeds the alpha’s ego.

Daniel has also found a group of omegas like him - and they gossip and exchange bawdry stories. Daniel is the youngest in the group so they give him pointers and advice. Terry is fine with it, encourages these friendships, as it benefits him in the end.

So, your scenario - or a take on it:

The omegas of well off alphas spend most of their time doing charity work and fundraisers so they’re all at the church sorting through donations etc.

Some are doing that while others are in the kitchen setting up lunch.

Daniel is with his usual group of Omegas. They’re younger - all in their 20’s and 30’s - the older group are usually the ones that hold onto these ideals.

Sometimes Daniel wonders if they even like their Alphas - Terry tells him not to listen. All that matters is that he is a good omega in Terry’s eyes - and, he reminds him, even the priest says listening to your alpha and allowing him to take his pleasure how he sees fit is one of the most important qualities in being a good mate and omega for your alpha.

But one of the female omegas - a few years older than Daniel with a couple kids and pregnant with another herself - is whispering about how insatiable her alpha is for her like this - about how he likes to have her in front of a mirror when she’s like this.

She looks to Daniel’s growing belly - their second - conspiratorially asking if Terry is the same way.

It’s a moot point - they all have witnessed Terry dragging Daniel off to have his way with him when an event goes on too long, and Sam was barely two months old before Daniel announced he was expecting again.

He blushes, and they all ohhhhh - knowing there is a juicy story they need to coax out of the little omega - and he bats at them all playfully.

It’s been a little over a year since he’s called himself Terry’s husband, and his lessons in physical love between an alpha and omega began, but Daniel is still quite naive and has keep the shyness and innocence about him, even though he’s given Terry a child and is growing a second inside him.

They gather closer as he stammers through Terry making him ride his alpha’s face in their dojo - mirrors everywhere so that no matter where he looked he could see what he looked like as his alpha ate him out - how desperate and wanton he was acting for it.

How Terry had made him come from that - soaking the alpha’s face - before he was laid flat on the mat, his legs roughly opened - Terry having him spread himself - so he could see that pretty pink hole hidden within - fisting himself to completion on his belly and cunt.

“Sitting on my alpha’s face is one of my favourites,” one of them sighs dreamily, and Daniel agrees, although he says that lately, since he’s started showing with their second, Terry likes to watch him touch himself. Last night he was laid on on their bed in new pretty lingerie, designed for pregnant omegas, as Terry sat on the chair opposite the bed, drink in hand watching as Daniel pleasured himself to Terry’s instructions, his alpha doing much of the same, stroking himself to the sight.

“Absolutely disgraceful behaviour from an omega,” he hears from an older omega, deliberately eavesdropping as she passes the group.

He puts his head down, fiddling with his fingers, as the omegas in his group lay their hands on his shoulder in comfort.

“Don’t listen to her - she’s just pissed that her alpha has probably never made her wet,” and he covers his mouth to styme the laughter, even if the others openly giggle.

“Probably only ever does it missionary under the covers with the lights off,” another one cackles.

“Oh Helen - shove it up your dried up musty cunt.”

Helen ignores it, knowing Daniel is still able to be easily cowed.

“You’re too young to know better,” she says, and Daniel looks up, confused, before she continues. “It’s that alpha of yours who should be ashamed of himself and his depraved ways ….”

The slap reverberates from around the room to shocked gasps, although no one is more shocked than Daniel, his hand stinging as the woman grabs her face.

He doesn’t remember much after that - only sitting in the rectory with the priest - an older priest and not Father O’Brien, who Daniel normally confides in - while being lectured on proper Omega behaviour and how this reflects poorly on his alpha. How his alpha had to be called and is on his way down and how disappointed he will surely be at such an ill behaved mate.

“While some allowances can be made for your behaviour due to your delicate condition, this is not acceptable.”

Said alpha walks in, and he catches that last bit, frowning.

Terry was already concerned when he got the call saying Daniel attacked an older omega - one of the more pious women in the group - high up in the church - which is not like him - but when Daniel doesn’t even look up - his worry boils over.

“Ah, Alpha Silver. Truly sorry to have to call you down here due to ….”

Terry waves a hand, and the priest, a beta, although affronted, falls silent.

“Leave us.”

He kneels down to be eye level and still, his little omega refuses to look at him.

“What happened little one?”

He starts to sob then, at the gentle tone; full body shudders and Terry gathers him in his arms, soothing him, worried for both his boy and their baby.

Through heaving sobs he gathers enough info, that and the fact that on his way in the unofficial ring leader of Daniel’s little group of omega friends had quickly given him a rundown of the events.

“I know he’ll tell you but I know he’s also quite upset, sir,” she says, perfect omega manners and he thanked her for her help and for looking out for his mate.

“Any time. We’re all quite fond of him.”

Terry knows the feeling.

He focuses back on his upset and emotional mate, shushing him, rubbing his back up and down. When he finally calms Terry kisses him softly, placing his jacket around him. Being surrounded by his scent should help.

Terry really wants to laugh at the situation - outdated puritan church sex politics in omega cliches, really - but his boy is so upset and then big brown eyes, red rimmed and blotchy from crying look at him and all humour Terry found in the situation quickly evaporates, and pure rage takes it place.

Still, for the sake of his mate, and his state, he forces himself to calm - knowing Daniel will misunderstand and think it’s him Terry is angry at.

“I’m sorry. I just want to be a good mate. That’s all I want,” he says beseechingly.

Terry sighs. He knows this - it’s why the boy is like putty in his hands. It’s a good thing it was Terry who mated him.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he says.

“I didn’t mean to make you look bad.” It’s said so pitifully.

“Sweetheart, you never could. I’m so proud of you.”

That just sets him off again.

“None of that now. Come on, sweetheart. I need you to be calm for me now, okay. For the baby too,” he says, laying a hand on his stomach, Daniel placing his on top.

“You did nothing wrong.”

“He said …”

“Daniel,” and his mate looks at him. “What he says is inconsequential - what I say is all that matters - isn’t it?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“There’s a good boy.”

Daniel beams, burying his face into the coat’s collar, inhaling the alpha’s scent.

“Always trust what I say to you is true.”

“I do,” he says, fiercely, and Terry’s alpha knows his little omega is back to normal now.

Terry calls for the priest, who enters, already saying,

“So this behaviour must be dealt with.”

“Yes it should be, and it will be,” Terry agrees.

He watches Daniel wipe his eyes and nose on the sleeve of Terry’s jacket, fondness overtaking him.

“Well, I’m glad we are on the same page on this horrid display of disobedience. I suggest more classes on proper etiquette for a mated omega and how their behaviour reflects on their alpha. I know he’s passed them all, with flying colours according to Father O’Brien, but he tends to be more modern and the stricter, more traditional ways are really what we should be …”

“Oh you misunderstand - I have no problem with MY omega’s behaviour.”

The priest looks confused.

“What I am worried about is how an older omega thinks it’s acceptable to work a younger omega - currently with child - an alpha’s child - MY child - into such an emotional state.”

The priest realizes too late his mistake.

“And you, lecturing MY omega on his behaviour is both highly unacceptable and wildly inappropriate. The audacity to think you know what I approve and disapprove of.”

The priest looks alarmed.

“His behaviour is my responsibility and what we do on or in our marital bed - or anywhere else, for that matter,” Terry smirks - “is based wholly on my discretion and what I see fit and is not up for anyone else’s judgement - especially not yours.”

“I do apologize ….”

“I expect your resignation to Father O’Brien, or else, I will no longer be donating to this establishment,” Terry cuts him off.

“Terry,” Daniel says and his attention instantly switches to his mate.

“I don’t want anyone to lose their job because of me.”

“It’s not because of you, sweetheart. It’s because of his actions and his actions have consequences.”

“Still …” his little mate says.

Terry sighs - he knows Daniel will feel guilty even though he has no reason to be. As it were, best to avoid it for now.

“Fine.”

The priest looks relieved.

“I thank you, Alpha Silver.”

“Don’t thank me. Thank him.”

The priest stammers out a thank you before excusing himself.

“My hero,” Terry says. “Defending my honour.” He helps the little pregnant omega up from his seat.

“It’s not funny,” Daniel mumbles, although he’s fighting off a smile himself.

It kind of is, and in few weeks they’ll both look back on this with laughter, but for now, to drive home his point.

“I think you deserve a reward.”

Daniel lights up.

“Can we get ice cream? I’m kind of hungry,” he admits. He never got to eat lunch, although he thinks he’ll keep that from Terry.

“Anything you want, baby. You know that.”

“Well, I want extra fudge and peanuts. Oh and those sprinkles and lots of cherries. You think they’ll have pickles?”

Terry wrinkles his nose. “If not, I’ll make sure you get some. I always make sure you have what you need.”

And he does.

Not that Terry doesn’t also get what he needs.

Because later on, Terry gets his own sweet treat - his head buried between the little omega’s creamy smooth thighs, which shake with pleasure against his head as he sucks at his omega’s pretty pink rosebud and laps at his wet cunt - his favourite thing to eat - all to the sounds of his omega’s sweet little whimpers, moans, and begging.

[frostedsketches]

Canterlot Midwives

Introducing the three midwives featured in my recent post Miracle. These are the lovely ladies that delivered Twilight's son Meteor Star, minus Dr Sternsaddle, who I will design and post about soon. They are co-workers and good friends through work, but that's not all they have to their characters. . .

Precious Pacifier, 25 is a earth pony of soft, sweet nature and tall, wide stature. She's a caring individual, endlessly kind and charitable, always loving to give a helping hoof, or a word of advice, and has a soft spot for young foals. Because of her strength and big hooves, she is a total klutz, which makes her self-conscious and awkward around others, she isn't shy but she does dread social interaction if it means she might make a mess of herself.

It is in helping expecting mothers and delivering foals where her confidence comes out, she thinks herself too clumsy to handle the actual baby part of her job as a midwife, but she'll be there to cheer a mother on and is in charge of watching out for the baby's head and determining what needs to be done at any point in the labor process.

Outside of work, she and her husband, a unicorn named Spector, are young newly-weds —at the time of Meteor's birth— and very happy together. Though Precious often finds herself not at all snooty enough, or even more, too big, for Canterlot, and she might be better suited to the countryside, the capital city has always been her home and she's not leaving it anytime soon. ( I obviously did not draw her quite big enough to be all that's stated above, but just pretend she's massive compared to the others, shhh )

Sweet Dreams, Age 29 is a unicorn of poise and elegance, and though she may seem a bit regal and imposing at first glance, she's really not an unpleasant or unapproachable pony. Quite the contrary, she's the type of pony that exudes peace and comfort to those in her care, her job being to soothe her patients, melt their worries away, make them comfortable, sometimes even to the point of lulling them to sleep, which is especially handy when dealing with her client's newborns. She's witty and has a silly side to her, the ladder of which comes out when faced with anything cute and cuddly, making her an amusing sight to see when she gets excited over being able to handle the foals in her care.

Dreams is also known for her tasteful fashion sense and ability to pull off just about anything. Her unusually long tail is praised, as having one is a lost unicorn trait that is rarely seen in Equestria these days and was once considered beautiful and a sign of good breeding. Her hooves aren't actually cloven as that's also a rarely seen trait, but she had a bit of carving done on them to give off a similar appearance, ( it's a more cartoonish version as opposed to deep cloves, as cutting deeper than the hoof wall can be painful and damaging to the inner parts of one's hoof ) so she needs to get them redone every so often. She is also married and has been so since she was twenty-two.

Her husband is also a unicorn, a soldier for the Royal Guard, named Well Wish, and they have a three-year-old daughter called Valentine. Oh, she's also the older sister of Fond Feather ( Featherbang's purple fan girl ) and Dear Darling is their cousin. Their parents fostered Darling, who was close in age with Fond, so Fond and Darling were always closer to each other than they were with Sweet Dreams who was much older, and because of this, the two sisters are nearly estranged today.

Soft Hoof, 30 is a unicorn with a more quiet approach to things. She has a thick Prench accent and is hard to understand, because of her dialect as well as her strange more philosophical way of wording her sentences. She is the one that handles foals the most, her name implying her gentle touch, and graceful care. She's well versed in caring for foals and highly trusted. She being hard to communicate with isn't much part of helping with the mothers and their wellbeing, but will help with the foals and direct mothers on anything about caring for them that they might be unsure of or clueless about.

Her hair was once completely blue, but she started going white early, a trait she accepts whole-heartedly. She prefers her hair how it is now, as it gives her a more unique appearance from her mother, who she was once identical to and whom she has a complicated relationship with, one more negative than not.

Softie, unlike her co-workers, is unmarried, child-free, and content with both, her job giving her all the fulfillment and precious baby love she requires. She lived in Prance until she was twelve, is an only child, and in her personal life she often does chalk art on the streets of Canterlot and preforms violin for her local yoga group, as well as participates in said exercise, always one to practice self-care and meditation. She's friends with Tree Hugger and they often meditate, practice fortune telling, and study crystals together.

Related Post:

MLP:FiM belongs to Hasbro and Lauren Faust

Precious Pacifier, Sweet Dreams, and Soft Hoof as well as Meteor Star and the entirety of the Hopes'nDreamsVerse belong to me.

[wrennefer]

Big dump:

It’s been a rough two weeks. I’m starting to feel a little better after everything but I’ve noticed that I need to take a small dose of my Adderall on top of Prozac now. It’s not a bad thing, I just took a while to realize that I was needing my ADHD medicine again. The ChatGPT generator meal plan was working out great except financially it was starting to seriously drain us. There’s two many varieties of fresh ingredients required and it was costing like $200 a week. Right now we are limping by to pay bills and I have been cooking still but I have not been blogging because it was taking too much energy to remember to record on top of everything. I’m going to have to start making my own meal plans to try to cut some costs but I’ve never really done that before so I’ve been reluctant to sit down and take the time to do so .

This weekend my husband gifted me a pair of earrings he 3-D printed and I liked them so much and got such positive feedback from coworkers that I asked him to print more pairs so that I could sell a few at my station at work.  Maybe eventually we will be able to attend art events in town and have a booth And get some extra income on the side that way.

I have a friend that used to work at the beauty school I attended 10 years ago who is going into hypnotherapy and I have been doing sessions with her trying to help me work through some things like feeling guilty about relaxing or feeling compelled to buy more than needed for the kids and family when I’m at the store. I want to feel comfortable just existing because I think if I didn’t feel so stressed out that I would not hold onto so much weight. 

Our older son just got put on a mild dose of ADHD medicine and it has made small but huge changes at the same time. He does not overstimulate me as much and I feel like we have had a better relationship already because of it.

Some of my friends/clients were saying that they really liked my blogs but it seemed like I was firing on all pistons and I think that I was on the ledge of burnout which was why I stopped making the videos so that I could kind of refocus back on the house and everything and not backslide into unhealthy habits.

I really am thankful for all of the interaction I’ve been getting but I think I get stressed out when people try to give me food/intake related advice… I have gained and lost 150 pounds three different times and we know that part of the problem is mental so it doesn’t matter What I do to lose the weight… if I’m not mentally able to overcome certain things and find a healthy balance that I’m goingto backslide and regain weight when there are upheavals. I want to lose weight but more than anything I want to be healthy and happy. 

Anyway, I don’t want to disappear completely and act like I gave up but I’m still trying to figure out my direction I guess? I can’t commit all of my life to weight loss because I have kids and a house and work but I know that it needs to be one of the priorities. Something that is a bigger priority to me honestly is being better about keeping the house clean because I grew up in a family that our house was always cluttered and our mom had temper tantrums about it And I had a lot of trauma associated with cleaning . 

[kennyfischerconsulting]

Whitey and Rose  - Part 2

So, in November of 1969 Diversified moved my wife Margie, my 1-year-old daughter Julie, and me to Los Angeles to work for Whitey. Since Julie was the only grandchild of all 4 grandparents, you could imagine how popular that made me. We moved to a two-bedroom apartment in Encino, about 35 minutes commute to the WNF office on 3rd and Martel; right down the street from Farmers Market. Although by then I was buying scrap, attending conventions, and traveling the US, LA was quite a culture shock for Margie and me. We had no friends or relatives, which was a lot harder on Margie than me, since I was busy at work all day.  We lived at the beautiful Balboa Biltmore apartments, with underground parking and a swimming pool, and the rent was three times what we were paying in St. Louis. I may have been the only one in the building that had an American car and wore a suit and tie to work.  Even so, at $17,500 a year and a company car we were doing just fine.

OK, back to WNF.  Rose Seminow was and had been Whitey’s secretary (dictation was the only way in those days), office manager, girl Friday, and my savior.  They did eventually marry a few years after Whitey’s wife Louise passed away. 

Rose Sall is 96 (as of 2016) and is still sharp as a tack and a great money manager. Rose was so nice to us when we moved and did anything  she could make our transition easier. Her husband was called “Sim” and they didn’t have much of a relationship.  He was a lot rougher than cultured Whitey, but he did take me deep sea fishing for the first time and with my freshwater gear and lite line I caught the only Yellow Tail on a day trip out of San Pedro.

 Whitey was the Dean of the LA scrap metal business and probably had more knowledge of that industry, including melting, than maybe anyone in America.  He generously passed on all that I could absorb. Since we did no melting or smelting in California, a lot of what he knew passed with him, since there was no need for me to know much of it. He always went out of his way to be good to me and teach me anything that would help me grow.  He was gruff and not in the best of moods most times and only those few people who knew him well and knew of his generosity really loved him.  The rest disliked or feared him, but that didn’t keep them from coming to him for advice and an occasional loan.

 I once saw him lend $1,500 to a despicable, totally unsavory fellow in the metals business and I questioned him about getting paid back.  His answer was, “I hope he doesn’t pay me back.  That way he won’t have the guts to come ask again.” We had this overtly gay guy, and a Pilipino non-practicing lawyer in the office as clerks, Freddie Tobias, an old buyer from Whitey’s past, and eventually Syndicate member Ronnie Polishuk in the LA office.

To refresh: Ronnie and I met in Junior High, went to High School together, was my roommate in college and in the Army, came to work in LA, moved to Cucamonga when I did, and worked in the metal’s business for my brother Ellis in St. Louis until Ellis passed away in April of 2017.

[ketso]

Episode 33

I am at Bassie’s place. Yoh, her and Keith are at war EVERY DAY! We try to keep them apart because Bassie blames Keith for everything and she kicks him out every day, telling him that she wants her child back. Keith is determined that he’s not going back to Noria and that he loves Bassie. I honestly have no advice for either of them.

I left my kids with my mom and Meme back home. Apparently, Mmaletuka is out on bail. She begs my mom every day to get me to drop the charges. She lives in Maja Perre at our mom’s house with her kids. She keeps saying that if anything happens to her, I won’t even take her kids. And she’s right. Now she’s saying what am I expecting her to do and where will her kids go if she goes to prison. I’m still thinking about dropping the charges. I haven’t made up my mind.

There was a meeting with Mahali and her family. It happened in Dithabeng. Apparently, the meeting was to address her behaviour towards me and my entry into the Mothipa family. After the meeting she went back home. I wasn’t in the meeting, but MmaKB was. Thabang just told me that Mahali was sent back with her parents. She has to be back home for six months learning all about her duties in this marriage and family. When she returns after six months, she must return with one of the lobola cows that were paid for her by the Mothipa family. So she’s temporarily out of the picture. I wonder what she will be like when she’s back in action because that one… ay!

MmaKB decided to take her kids on a holiday away for about two weeks, so Thabang went with them. I just got back to work and to my life, so I’m here to support my friend alone. Which I don’t mind. MmaKB has been really cool with me, so there’s no need for me to feel threatened by her going on holiday with her husband.

At the moment, I’m able to work remotely because the queen has been kicked out of the royal house. So, she just works from anywhere… with her strict instructions of me not working for the king’s second wife under any circumstances – the very second wife who now also lives in that royal house as mofomahadi has been kicked out – I also work from anywhere.

Wandi comes in the morning and leaves in the evening. Tamia too. I’m the one who sleeps over with Bassie, holding her hand through this nightmare of a situation. I briefed Thabang telephonically while reporting that I’d be in South Africa for a bit. He also believes that this is insane.

I’m making the bed now. I’ve showered and I prepared breakfast because Bassie and Keith both need to eat. They are just so mad at each other that they don’t want to do anything really.

I phoned my kids in the morning before they dashed out for school. I miss them so much. They love my mom so much. I think she spoils them a lot. I left my car with her so she can get around and do school runs, her shopping etc. I give her money - enough to keep her away from performing her profession in front of my kids or in my house. I know she gives some money to Mmaletuka as well. Meme told me. I thought I’d be angry about it, but I’m actually cool with it. There’s something about being a mother and grandmother that humanises my mom. It’s beautiful. She must just keep Mmaletuka far away from me.

My phone rings. It’s Thabang. I sit on top of the bed then answer the phone.

“Hey baby”, me.

“Love, how are you?”

“Ke shup. How’s Cape Town?” I ask him. He and MmaKB took the kids there.

“It’s good. The kids love it here and Mmakabelo is enjoying everything about it. She has a lot of spa appointments though. I think this was a holiday for me to look after the kids more than anything”, he says.

One thing about MmaKB is that she’s very strategic. Maybe she just noticed that Thabang is not spending enough time with his kids anymore, so she planned this for that to happen. She’s just that person.

“Well, I hope you are having fun too.” I say.

“I’m trying. I really am. But I’m worried about you and whatever is happening there with Bassie and Keith.”

“Eish Thabang, it’s bad. Wandi’s mom and Senzi’s family are trying their best. But this Noria woman is always a few steps ahead of us. They managed to find the hospital that Risuna was at. Somehow he was moved. We don’t know if it was to another hospital or what. But the hospital at least told us that Risuna was recovering very well. He was in good shape to be discharged. She’s not at her house. She not at any family member’s house. It’s like she vanished and she vanished with the baby. She keeps saying that she wants Keith back. If Bassie returns her husband, then she will return Bassie’s child.”

“So why doesn’t Keith set a trap for her?”

“How so?”

“He must say that he’s ready to go back to her. Then when the exchange happens where Keith goes to her and Bassie gets her child back, Bassie gets Noria arrested for kidnapping.” He says.

“That’s actually not a bad idea, watsiba. I’ll actually chat to Keith and propose this. Yena le Bassie are water and oil right now. It’s as if they are not on the same team. But then again, I can’t imagine what it’s like to have a missing child. There’s nothing normal about what’s happening.”

“I hear you. Let me know if there’s anything that I can do, babe.”

“Thank you, babe. Enjoy Cape Town, okay?”

“Shup. Keep me updated.”

“I will.”

“I love you, msadi waka… oratuwa waka.”

“I love you too, moratuwa waka.”

We hang up.

I get into the kitchen. Keith and Bassie are here, eating, sitting opposite each other and not saying anything to each other.

“Good morning”, I greet them.

“How are you doing?” Keith.

“Ke shup, thanks.” Me.

“Wandi and her mother are on their way. They have news for us.” Bassie tells me.

I nod my head.

I sit down and wait for them. Maybe I’ll make my suggestion once I’ve heard what they have to say.

“Can I make you guys some coffee? I’m making myself a cup.” I offer.

“Thank you, that would be nice”, Keith.

His brothers walk in with their mother. So, I guess I’ll make for everyone.

They are greeting each other and chatting as I prepare the coffee.

After a few minutes, I’m serving everyone coffee.

Keith’s brothers have also helped themselves to breakfast.

Mzala walks into the kitchen. She and Bassie’s mother have also been sleeping here. The tension between Bassie’s mother and Keith’s mother is just unmatched.

It’s bad! Now I’m not even sure what to do with myself.

“Wandi is here with her mom. I’m opening the gate and letting them in”, Bassie says.

We are all now keen for these news.

I hold Bassie’s shoulder. I really hope it’s good news. I hope they are not here to tell us that the baby is dead.

Wandi enters first…

Then Tamia…

Then Wandi’s mom with Risuna in her arms.

“Mama!” He yells.

He has a little cast on his left arm.

Bassie is still crying, shaking even. Keith is the one who stands up and makes his way to Wandi’s mom. Before he takes Risuna, he hugs Wandi’s mom. He’s also crying.

“Hello fana. Hello boy boy”, mzala is the one who takes Risuna from Wandi’s mom’s arms.

“Zala… hi”, Risuna says.

Mzala takes Risuna to Bassie. Bassie just holds her baby dear to her heart and she cries. Risuna is just confused but very relaxed.

Keith gets to Bassie. He holds both of them.

“I think we should give them space. Keith, when you are ready, let me know. You and Noria need to talk. I told her you’ll talk on condition that I’m there. She’s currently in hiding. I know where she is. You and Bassie will decide if you want to press charges or talk to her. I’ll take the lead from you.” Wandi’s mom.

“I want her arrested”, Bassie. I actually agree with her.

“What does she want to talk about?” Keith.

“You are welcome to go to the prison and ask her. I want that lunatic arrested and away from my child and me. Mama-Wandi, please… I want her arrested.” Bassie.

I’m on my way back to the kingdom now. I’m driving my BMW X5 that Thabang bought for me as a wedding gift. It’s a black X5. I’ll phone Bassie when I get to the kingdom. Right now, I just miss my kids.

The drive is long and I’m alone. I would’ve flew here, but everything just happened so quickly and I felt like the plane wouldn’t have got me here quickly enough. Thabang was worried when I told him that I was driving alone. But he was relieved when I phoned him to tell him that I had arrived safely.

I phoned him again when I was leaving Bassie’s house. He went on and on about how I need to stop doing such drives alone. I told him that I’d phone him when I got to Tholoana Kingdom.

I actually had a good time at my mother-in-law’s place. She’s such a cool chick. I didn’t do any hard labour chores, but I had to attend council meetings with her as well as “tree court”. This is where the community comes forward to report issues like theft of cattle, cheating husbands, drunk husbands, pregnant side-chicks… the idea of the tree court is to possibly get the royal house to assist with matters at a “home” level instead of getting police involved. Thabang’s mother is a qualified customary lawyer, so this is her territory. She taught me a lot about polygamous marriages and what the role of each wife is.

I also spent time with Pebetsi. Pebetsi is also married into a polygamous marriage. She’s a lot like Mahali in her marriage. The things she complains about show that she wasn’t ready for this. I don’t know why she forced herself into such a marriage. It’s not for everyone. She gets away with a lot because she’s from a royal family. She comes across as if she uses that to hold over her husband and his other wives. She comes home all the time. She says it’s because her husband annoys her in the decisions that he makes. I don’t understand, really. Her mother shakes her head at her all the time. Sometimes, the mother chases her back to her own house and husband. Sometimes, she’s just defeated. I’ve also met le tona (the chief) and his other wives. He’s a nice man, shame. But some of those wives scare me a bit. They all seem like they give as much shit as they take.

Thabang did indeed come every weekend to see me and spend time with me. It was nice. We really became closer than what we were. Some weekends, he came with my kids. I’m so grateful. But he was also nagging me to move out of my house and into a house in the suburbs. I really love my house. It’s the first house I got - all by myself. My kids love it there too. I understand that he isn’t a township kind of guy, but I really really love my place. My mom said she’d stay there. But I know deep down that she will bring up Mmaletuka and her kids to live with her. My issue with that is that I will stop supporting her if she does that. Then I know that they’ll continue with their business to make a living. In the township, they will get beaten up by the locals. Tholoana Kingdom townships don’t play those games. Anything nje that looks like it will take them to hell - especially when performed by people who are not hard-core criminals - they will deal with you. And I really don’t ever want Mmaletuka’s kids to become my problem. Ever.

So if I move, I’ll sell my house. Mama and Mmaletuka can just stay in Maja Perre. But Thabang and I will discuss further when he is back.

I get home just after 9pm. I just want to catch my kiddies before they go to bed. I just want to kiss their cute little lips and give them big hugs. I’ll just text Thabang afterwards. He might be deep within sex with MmaKB then my call ruins it all. Mahali gave me a very stern warning, so I’m very aware now.

I get into the house and I see my mom having tea with Mmaletuka. Ja neh, I’m being tested. They just see it on my face, and Mmaletuka’s smile tells me that this is exactly what she wanted to happen. I’m definitely selling this place should I decide to move to another house.

“And then?” I enquire, looking at my mother.

“Mmaletuka asked me to look after her children while she goes to Johannesburg for some work.” My mom tells me.

“Mmaletuka is out on bail, she’s not allowed to leave the country. I’ll report her myself. I haven’t dropped the charges”, I say.

“Bathung ngwana oe!” My mom.

“And Mmaletuka is not welcome in my house”, I say.

“Mama is my mother too. Your kids are not the only kids she has to look after. She also has to look after mine.” Mmaletuka says.

“Not in my house, she doesn’t. You know what, mama… thank you for looking after my kids. Truly, thank you. But moving forward, I’ll get a nanny for my kids so they can help me. The last thing I ever want again is to run into Mmaletuka in a space that’s supposed to be my peace. Ke kopa le tsamaye”, I say.

“Morafe! Keng ka wena?! Ke ausi wahao motho oe!” My mom yells.

“Why didn’t you tell her that when she was burning my bed and my wedding dresses?!”

“The wedding dresses again?! Akere you got new ones and got married?” Mom.

“It cost me money! Money that she will never afford to even pay me back. She had no right to burn anything that didn’t belong to her. That’s why she is looking at possible jail time. I’m not the only person who sees that what she did was wrong. The law sees it too!”

“What do you want from me, Morafe?! An apology?! Fine! I’m sorry, Morafe!” Mmaletuka.

“I don’t want your stupid apology! I want you to take your kids and get the fuck out of my house!” I say.

“Ke tle le ko mme waka!” She says.

“Then take mme wahao o tsamaye le yena!” Me.

“And go where?! At this time?!”

“So, you came to my house without any plan to leave? You were just going to sleep in my house knowing perfectly well that you are not welcome here?!”

“Morafe, ausi waka, please… I’m begging you. I have no one. I have nothing. I need your help. Please. Don’t do this! You know you can afford to help me. Please help me.” She says to me.

“You want to talk to me about being alone, having no one and having nothing?! I left at the age of eighteen, running off to another country to start off what you see me have today… this which you believe I got just because I married Thabang. Akere in your eyes, I did nothing to receive this?! I was alone. I had no one. I had nothing. I made a plan. I’m a woman. I made a plan. And I landed. I had two children, and I was ducking and diving from a crazy abusive man’s punches, rape and attempted murder stints… when I ran away from him, I was alone with my two kids. I’m sure you could afford to help me then, but you didn’t. You had to focus on your kids and yourself. I’ve never held that against you. Ever! And wena, Mmaletuka, you said I lied akere? You said I lied on that man because I wanted Thabang, and I caused his unnecessary death. Those were your words to me. So Mmaletuka, you’ll be fine. You’ll land on your feet, and you’ll make a plan. You are a woman. There’s nothing that I have that you don’t - spoiled by mama and all. You’ll be fine. Now please, leave my house. And Mme, when you leave with your daughter and grandchildren, please leave my car in my garage. If you even try to take it, I’ll report it stolen. We all know Mmaletuka can’t afford another charge added to her record. Goodnight!”

With this, I leave my kitchen.

…

Today has been a crazy day. My kids have too much energy for me. I took them to Robbin Island with their mother. I don’t think they quite understood what was happening there. But hey, they are kids. The youngest of the four got motion sickness on the boat - right there with me. So, we came back to the hotel and just needed to sleep it off. I gave Mmakabelo some sex after dinner. Now they are all asleep and I’m still up, unable to sleep now because Morafe hasn’t let me know that she’s okay. It’s unlike her. She didn’t even send me a text. It’s almost midnight. Maybe, let me phone her.

I dial her number. Her phone is off. Now I’m panicking.

I dial Meme’s number. I didn’t want to phone her. But I’m worried about my wife.

“Hi Abuti Thabang”, she answers her phone.

“Meme, hi. I’m so sorry to phone you so late.” I say.

“It’s okay. I’m studying.” She says.

“I’m looking for Morafe. Her phone is off. She told me she was driving back to the kingdom. She hasn’t phoned me to let me know she’s home.” I say.

“She’s home. Eish Abuti Thabang, she had a fight with mama and Mmaletuka. She wasn’t okay when she went to lock herself up in the bedroom. Maybe she forgot.”

I should’ve known.

“Mmaletuka is there?” I ask.

“She was. Morafe kicked her out and told mama to follow her”, she tells me.

“Please give Morafe the phone?” I politely ask her.

“Okay please hold on”, she says.

I hear her walking somewhere. Then she knocks on the door. I hear her walk in then she and Morafe have a brief conversation.

“Hello?” Morafe answers the phone.

“Baby, hey”, I say.

“Hey baby. Why are you up so late?” She asks me.

“I was waiting for you. I was worried. Why is your phone off?”

“I didn’t realise. I’m sorry, babe. It’s just been a long day.”

“I understand. Will everything be okay with Mmaletuka, baby?”

She starts crying.

“Love?” Me.

“I don’t want to hate my sister, Thabang. I don’t want to hate my flesh and blood. I don’t understand why I feel the things that I feel towards her.” She says through her crying.

I understand what she means. Pebetsi irritates me a lot, but I could never hate her. I can’t imagine what it would be like if I hated any of my siblings.

“I don’t know how to un-feel my resentment towards her. I can’t even live with her children. What type of person am I, Thabang? What am I teaching my kids?”

“Morafe, calm down. Please, my love. Calm down.”

I hear her breathing.

I wish I could drive to her then calm her down right now. Eish.

“Baby, we are going to fix this.” I say.

“The only way to fix this is if you put Mmaletuka and I in one room, lock it, then let us box each other out until we get over our issues”, she says.

I laugh.

She laughs.

“I miss you”, she says.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you miss?”

“I miss you coming to bed topless, only covering your essential tools with those tight black briefs that you wear. I just see your package nicely put away, waiting for me to unwrap it like a sweet. It excites me like a teenager when I already see you walk towards me. I already imagine your body holding me, handling me… showing me why you’ve chosen to make me a woman amongst women.”

I’m honestly already hard.

I slide my hand down, holding my penis. I’ve never had to jerk off right after having sex. Morafe is torturing me.

“What are you wearing?” I ask her.

“A lacy piece I just bought while I was in South Africa. I’m trying to excite my man. I’m trying it out right now. It’s a royal purple one piece… it has diamonds around my boob area… it’s lacy everywhere… it’s designed to be ripped off so a man can get to business.” She says.

Okay, I’m weak! I’m already rubbing my dick.

“Baby, I’m hard. You are killing me. I can barely breathe.” I tell her.

“I have my finger inside a place only your penis enters baby. I’m so wet. It’s been a long two weeks. I don’t know what to do with myself”, she says.

“Baby… I’m sorry.” I say.

She starts moaning.

My God!

She moans.

I moan.

I cum in my hand as her moans get higher and heavier. I also release quite a groan when cum shoots out of my penis.

She’s breathing heavily. I breathe heavily.

“When I see you…” I say.

“I’ll take care of you… in the kitchen, the TV room and the bedroom of whichever house you’d like us to buy together”, she says.

Now this has made my day.

“Seriously babe?” I say in excitement.

“Yeah. I’ll move. I’ll sell the house now. I’ll use the money from the sale as well as my housing benefit from the royal house… I should be able to help you get us something nice. I really want to help.” She says.

“You know I want to gift it to you, right? I gift my wives their houses and cars, baby. You are all equal.” I remind her.

“T, I’m not your other wives. I’m not. I want us to have our own relationship. I’m not using your marriage to them as a benchmark for my own marriage. You and I are partners. Ke motho wa hao, Thabang. Not your first born. Please let me help you buy our home”, me.

“What am I going to do with you?” Me.

She laughs and says, “What did you think you would do with me when you wanted me all those years ago?”

I laugh aloud.

“Go to sleep, my love.” She says.

“Sleep tight. I love you”, me.

“I love you, baby.” Her.

We hang up.

Now what am I going to do with myself for the rest of the night until the sun comes up?

I’m waking up on a couch. I guess I passed out on here. My kids are up and are running wild.

“Good morning, Mothipa”, Mmakabelo says to me.

“Dumelang. How did everyone sleep?” Me.

“Fine”, the kids say, one by one.

“We are all showered up and packed. I packed for you too. You just need to shower then we dash out to the airport. Our flight is in three hours. Please get ready. We will have breakfast at the airport.” Mmakabelo says.

I nod my head then make my way to the shower.

I quickly shower then dress up in the clothes she’s set out for me. I can’t wait to see Morafe. That’s where I’m sleeping tonight.

By the time I’m done with everything, we are pulling our stuff out to the hired H1 that’s waiting to take us to the airport.

Our breakfast at the airport is nice. My kids chatted my ear off. Mmakabelo laughed the whole time. This time away with them was great. I wanted to take my kids with Mahali with us on this trip, but Mmakabelo just wanted her kids on the trip. My kids with Mahali are staying with my mom while Mahali is away.

We are in the aeroplane now. I’m sitting with Mmakabelo. The kids are sitting in front of us, using the two rows in front of us.

“I spoke to Mahali. I went to her home to check up on her.” Mmakabelo tells me.

This is one thing I appreciate about her. She shows up for her role in this marriage. All the time!

“How is she?” I ask.

“She’s angry. Very angry.” She tells me.

“So, no progress?”

“Let’s just say that if we didn’t send her away, you and Morafe would be in danger. But it’s only month two. I’m sure by month four, the anger will have tired her out. She will come back relaxed.”

“Thank you for handling this, Mme Mothipa.” I say.

“Anything for our family, Mothipa. I was thinking…” she says.

“Yes?”

“Morafe lives with her kids until she comes back. We are a family. She’s a mother to all the kids you have - just like Mahali and me. That would show her doing her role in the family as well. Then some time this month, all the kids need a play date AND Morafe and I need a long and overdue date together. We need it.”

“I’ll talk to her”, I say.

“Ah ah, Mothipa. That’s not how this works. You can bend the rules all you want to protect Morafe, but not with me. Mama had her for a full month… I’m sure she’s ready to handle your first wife. I sent Mahali home for six months so the two of you could have peace in building your marriage. Now, I talk to her about the kids as well as me and her getting to know each other a little better. Let me do my bit.” She says.

I just smile at her.

She giggles.

“Trust me, Mothipa… you’ll also get to see who she is not just to you, but to the family. She can hate Mahali all she wants. But the kids are yours too. She loves you, she loves your kids too… just like you love hers. This will be a minor test of her intentions… is she here just to fuck you? Or is she here for all that you are about? It’s not like she doesn’t know that you have other wives and kids.” She says.

I don’t want to test Morafe. I know she’s here for me. But I’ll let Mmakabelo do this. It’s her role here anyway.

[dreamcatcherrs]

dating a faceless streamer/youtuber; mcyt x reader

+ this was a request, but it got deleted in my drafts ;-; sorry!

dream:

since he is also a faceless youtuber

he’s very understanding of keeping your privacy

and whatever reason you have to not reveal your face, he respects it

he knows what it’s like to have people tell him to face reveal

sometimes his voice will just appear in the back of your streams/videos

like in sapnap’s with the question about one direction

and chat is like, how long has he been here?????

the two of you would hint at a face reveal

and then after weeks brush it off like it was nothing

because you like to torture the fans, I guess🙄

because dream never has a face cam on

he has the perfect seat for you on his lap whenever he streams/films

and the same thing goes for when you film/stream; he’ll be sitting right next to you with his hand in yours or on your thigh

you’re known as the faceless couple

georgenotfound:

it really doesn't bother him at all that you’re a faceless streamer/youtuber

I don't see him as the type to post a whole lot of pictures with his s/o anyways

or something along those lines

so it wouldn't make a big difference to him

would just think it was funny to tease chat about knowing what you look like, when they don't

and then having them just hear you voice in the background of his videos sometimes

but not actually seeing you

he kinda likes that your relationship is more concealed

and that it’s harder for people to come at you when they don't know what you look like exactly, just because he’s dating you

because that would honestly be his biggest worry when revealing your relationship

so he’s happy that’s one less worry :)

sapnap:

does everything to not get people to beg for a face reveal

he doesn't want people to put that kind of pressure on you

especially if they go after you for it just because you're dating him

like, he will make a video about it if he has to

or tweet about it

the last thing he wants is for the fake fans to try and reveal your face or other things about you

when clearly that’s what you wanna keep private

that being said, he’d do so many streams with you

wether it’s gong against each other, or being on the same team

you always have so much fun together

even if you're literally in the same room together

if his face cam is on, he’d look over at you every now and then and send you a smile or some shit like that

there’s some pretty cute moments - expect a compilation

badboyhalo:

bad would be really proud to have an s/o who did youtube/streamed

and he would for sure help you out if you ever needed him to!

like with coding

or just general growth in your channel

wouldn't really care if you showed your face or not - whatever you're happy with makes him happy

he would just make sure that you never felt pressured to show your face

he knows people out there can be meanies

and come for you just because you don't show your face

and he’d always be there to talk to about it if it ever stressed you out

he would also make sure that you didn't hide your face because you didn’t like it or something like that

and if that was the case, you bet he’d be reassuring you

calling your all kinds of sweet things and show you lots of love

he takes lots of pictures of his two favourite girls

you and rat, of course (without showing your face, obviously)

technoblade:

he actually really likes that you're a faceless streamer/youtuber

like, he doesn't notice how much he likes it

before he realises all of the times you'd sneaked some hand-holding while streaming, or shared little kisses when on mute wouldn't have been possible if you both didn't show your faces

you’d share these secret glances when streaming/filming together

and no one would even know about it

sometimes his chat hears a little talking in the background from you

but techno just brushes it off like you weren't sitting right next to him the entire time

and vice versa

he also just stays with you when you're working

sharing small touches and words

chat also notice eventually how much you gush over each other without noticing

it happens A LOT more than you realise

especially from his side🤭

wilbur soot:

okay so

I think wilbur would have a hard time not showing you off to stream every second of the day

he would just always talk about you and want you there with him in his streams

and miss your touch after 5 minutes of being apart

but would be totally respectful of you wanting to remain faceless

he would just talk to you from an angle where chat couldnt see you

but yeah, he loves that you do the same type of job as him

and most of all, you motivate each other on days where you can't be bothered to even get out of bed

you’re definitely that couple that everyone makes cute compilations of

and that everyone strives to be

chat loves you, what more can I say

corpse husband:

ANOTHER FACELESS COUPLE

the power you two hold over everyone is actually immaculate

you stream/film together all the time

just having fun and being yourselves

he would definitely ask if you could join the games he plays with others when streaming

and if that wasn't possible, he’d just get you to come into his room and be part of it that way

he teases you a lot on stream

both cutely and mischievously

and your viewers are like👀

while his chat is just going crazy

you share lots of giggles

like, seriously, the majority of the videos/streams consists of you two laughing your asses off

you two will forever be known as the faceless couple

even if you both face reveal, that’ll always be your title

skeppy:

zak will find a way to show you off no matter what

he just can't resist

the way his heart is always beating out of his chest because of you is just too much for him to not ever show you to the world

but of course with your consent only

he wouldn't ever pressure you or anything

but since you're only remaining faceless

you can expect LOTS of matching outfit pictures taken in the mirror

and just lots of pictures of you in general

with your face blocked out or not in view, of course

you'd always be helping each other with your setups or videos

and he’d want to introduce you to literally everyone he knows

especially bad

you don't necessarily stream/film a lot with each other

but you're always in each others’ company in some shape or form

he always mentions you in his streams

just small stories or conversations

chat can tell he’s head over heels for you

karl jacobs:

he's the most support person everrr

he’d always be celebrating even the tiniest achievements with you

you hit 2k subs? he’ll treat you to an expensive ass dinner

you hit 1 million subs? he’ll buy you a whole room full of filming gear to improve from your previous ones

you managed to finish that one video you've been struggling with? he takes you on a weekend trip to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go

he’ll beg you to join him in is streams

just so he can hold your hand :)

or laugh with you every once in a while

he doesn't need you to face reveal at all

your company is all that matters to him when it includes the rest of the world

I mean, he’s the one able to see your beautiful face all the time, so he can't really complain even if he felt like it

always tweets about you or tweets things at you that only you two understand

and everyone is like ?????

but you don't care :)

fundy:

fundy actually doesn't talk a lot about you in his streams or videos

mostly to avoid people leaving bad light on you in the chat

unless he’s in the same game as you, of course

which in that case, the first thing he’d want to do is find you and talk to you in the game

he’s very respectful of you keeping your face private

and tries his best to keep the pressure of a face reveal off your shoulders

especially if it’s happening in his or your comments

if it gets really bad, he’ll eventually talk about it on twitter or something like that

does tiktoks with you

only with your voice though

and posts manyyy pictures where you’re tagged, but only slightly in view

he doesn't really care about your face being a secret

as long as he gets to see it, he’s happy

quackity:

alex has so much fun making videos or going live with you

and obviously you have the best collabs

you’re the funniest couple on the platform and it shows

he would talk so much about you - like, telling embarrassing stories about you or some shit like that

or saying how clingy you are with him

and chat would be like AWW HE TALKS ABOUT THEM

and he's like “no”😤

but alex can't fool anyone

he’s in it for real with you🥴

and at times, he doesn't even try to hide it

especially when he speaks up about ho proud he is of you

and how people should respect your choice of remaining faceless to the world

but then he quickly moves on to his silly self again

with blushy cheeks ^w^

punz:

has you on his lap constantly

even when his hand-cam is on

nothing will stop him from making you sit on his lap while he’s streaming

he loves that he can rant to you about the problems he faces sometimes concerning his streams

because you get it

he’d teach you the games you didn't know of

and you'd teach him the games that he didn't know of

and then you'd stream/film together after learning the basics

he doesn't talk about you a lot on stream

but chat eventually figures out it’s because you're literally in the same room as him

and how do they find that out, you may ask?

well, your snores coming from his headphones made it very obvious to say the least

awesamdude:

sam knows what it’s like being a faceless streamer

so if you wanted, he’d give you all of the advice you needed

and if you ever considered face revealing, he'd totally help you!

you guys have matching setups 

you sometimes talk to each other across the room as you're playing the same game together

because it’s funny to tease chat that way

you’d be posting pictures on social media

that give off hints that you're with each other a lot

like, in one photo he’s wearing a hoodie

and the next day, you post a photo of you in that exact same hoodie

stuff like that

he also celebrates big and small achievements with you

wether it be you achieving them or him, you always celebrate together

eret:

matching. outfits.

STRAWBERRY DRESSES

PLATFORM HEELS

ahhhh chat would be going absolutely crazy at the fits you guys have sometimes

and you're always matching

as in always

he tells their stream that you have a matching crown like his

but that chat obviously can't see it on you because you don’t have a face-cam

she likes telling stories about you

like, memories they have of you two together

and he just always compliments you and praises you for your hard work on her streams

telling everyone how happy you make them

she also always invites you to join his streams because it means a lot to them that you're there :)

jack manifold:

jack is so excited about the fact that you're also a streamer/youtuber

it makes it easier to open up about your relationship online

because some people already knew you before you revealed you two were dating

though I feel like jack would kinda like the secrecy of your face online

just to brag to his audience about how he gets to see your face every day

but also because he likes that there’s more privacy for you

sometimes he’d pop into your room without knowing you were streaming/filming

and would just start talking to you while you giggled about how you were “kinda in the middle of something”

when jack realised what you meant, he’d hurry out of the room in an instant

you’d always be in each others chats/comments

showing what a supportive couple you were

he always raids you at the end of his streams if you’re streaming at the same time

tommyinnit:

tommy always forgets that you're a faceless streamer/youtuber

and is sometimes sooo close to blurting out something he shouldn't

because he’s so used to seeing you, he just kinda forgets that no one else can

you always have to send him a text to “sToP TalKIng AbOUt yOu” so he doesn't accidentally reveal something

that being said, he literally talks so much about you

again, I’m bringing up that time he said that tubbo is so clingy

he says the same thing about you

but he’s really the clingy one, and it’s pretty obvious

you catch him saying things like “yeah, y/n is really cool”

or “guys, please don't say stuff like that to y/n”

getting all serious and shit🥺

he asks you constantly if you can join his vc

even when you're busy, he’s like “pay. attention. to. me😤”

it’s really entertaining sometimes

especially when his streams just consist of you two bickering the whole time

calls you his favourite woman

tubbo:

ahhh tubbo is so sweet when it comes to you

like, when anyone mentions you he just starts smiling

and wants to tell everyone about you

even if they already know you from your channel

he just can't help but ramble on about you

especially to tommy

he replies to all of your tweets

and you reply to all of his

you always feature each other on your channels/streams

and share a celebratory cake when reaching subgoals

sometimes chat notices similarities in your layouts

like a colour change

or a similar pattern

posts a photo of your pinkies intertwined

wearing matching bracelets you made yourself

and everyone finds it super cute<3

ranboo:

he would encourage you so much to join his videos

and wear the same type of outfit to cover your face with

but with a sense of yourself in it so you'd look similar, but not exactly like each other

you'd be matching outfits so often

doesn't talk a lot about you on his streams

apart from mentioning how short you are

but on TWITTER

that's a whole other story

his twitter has practically just become a fan account of you

he’s always in your comments

just to leave a :)

or a supportive comment

if you ever wanted to do a face reveal

he would do it with you if it meant making you feel more comfortable about it

or less nervous

you’re just very lowkey and cute

___________________________________

tag list✰

@zayenz @terribletoothbat @0t0n1n @0125cm @yukiuheh @shinee-is-5-forever @regularnoceur @b01nk-b0w@christhebish@nutritious-emo-crackkk@bookishreid@giavanna-707 @reddiesmcdonalds@cosmins@vixxzial@autumnpleaves@paradigmax@meaganjm@shiningsunrises@moralofwalls@username1212131@gxldentaestuff@innitdream @televisionpresent38 @bubblyanis@zurami @highoffhockey @popinjaytaylor@196os@livsbaby@doubts-of-gold@bunlina@retrav @mcyt-is-my-life@aleaisntcreative @my-shitpost-of-writing @my-shitpost-of-writing @clownsdrowning @pissbabywastaken@shiningsunrises @tie-dyed-dumbass @death-by-rats@simpfordraco @bippity-boppity-boopa@neongreendaydreams  @vibin-by-myself@littlepotatos0w0@christhebish @pipp-poppz@btsiguess-kpop@prettysmallfries@hiyoko-kos@kenmxskitten@fudrudy@weepingartanimespy@rhino-zucchini@goldenstarofthunderclan@melonmarz@ubeicecreamisthebest@polaroidinurroom @ady-yoo@isimpforeveryone@edenhollandd@ineedtogetoutofhere@glitter-night @hamilsandersfam@mothheart-witch @wrong-exit@trashcanfullofdork  @hellfirepheonixx @marshmallow-babe@isimpforeveryone @ky50621 @randomcloud@wormie4k@dinonuggies50  @p4rty-t4ttoos@aspenthegremlin@book-of-anarchy @jeyacore @thetattooink@gogywasfound@millavalntyne@junob1ade@ubeicecreamisthebest@karida @i-have-paws-love@drvgonraja@eatasslikegrass@creamofweep@venusomega@lunarfedora@rowe-n @wreny24 @vincent-stargogh @floatingplanets​ @vernon-dursley​ @childhoodgrunge​ @fivxss @hexagonclash​ @crazyjuls12​ @littlebabysandboxburritos @shifted-dreams@lenamarie666 @reinyrei @sozvuchiy @weaslvy-mxlfoy​ @aiofheavenandhell​ @honeyglaazed @carisle-mikealson​ @ineedtogetoutofhere​ @twist3dtinkerbell@cracraforfandoms@angel-dazey @leia-starly @smiithys​ @squiddyyyy​ @c0wc0ww​ @animeweeb019284​ @m00-bl00m-k0le @stqrs-thoughts @jenlouvre @uhhhguiltypleasures​ @trappedchest​ @punzrights​ @trashgremlin36​ @cyberrsoot​ @elebeleb​ @k3nn3dis-crap​ @karlshoodies​ @rascal-in-banishment​

[tooweirdforyou]

How The OP Boys Say “I Love You” To Their S/O

How You Know He Loves You- idk man

A/N : enjoy.

includes » Ace, Sabo, Luffy, law, Sanji, Zoro, Marco, Rosinante, Kid, Shanks, Mihawk, Katakuri, Izo, Koby, Cavendish,

Summary : the boys’ own way of saying “I love you”, with their own words and ways. Or, how you know he loves you.

? Wait did I do this before? I don’t even know. also these aren’t GREAT, but they aren’t HORRIBLE. Yk? Honestly tho, some of these seem like they’re all over the place, which yes, they might be. UGH IT WAS SO HARD THO.

-

Monkey D. Luffy

Luffy loves you like an adventure. Everything is new and always fun to try with him, and no matter what happens, you don’t ever regret it, because you’re doing it with him.

He’s persistent in staying with you everywhere, he wants to do everything with you. He tends to invite you ( by pulling your hand ) to do crazy things with him and away from the others so you’re alone.

He’s always showing off his skills and stupidity in order to make you laugh, because your smile is the best thing he’s ever seen and giggles are the beautiful sound he treasures.

His actions are genuine when he holds your hand and pulls you to his side all the time, with the warmest, loving grin.

Luffy always makes sure to remind you to never give up hope.

“Let’s go on an adventure together, [Name].”

-

Roronoa Zoro

Zoro loves you like you’re his one and only. No one has priority over you, ( except maybe Luffy ), and you will always be his, if you’ll let him.

Zoro is not a man of many words when it comes to his own emotions and feelings, so he shows it through his actions.

He always has an eye on you, so wherever you are is where he ‘sleeps’ so he can keep you close, his swords at his side to protect you from danger, ( but he knows you can handle yourself. )

Zoro is the perfect person to lend a comforting shoulder and ear. He will listen to every single one of your problems intently and if he can, will offer the best advice you’ll hear, even if it’s a bit harshly. However, whatever got you so down, Zoro will bring you back up.

Zoro is always reminding you that you are strong, no matter how tough things get.

“Oi, come take a nap with me. I could use a body pillow.”

-

Portgas D. Ace

Ace loves you like a gentleman, respecting boundaries, bowing to the elderly you pass by together and always ready to pick you up for your date at seven, bouquet of flowers in hand.

If Ace is good at anything, it’s knowing how to distract you with a good time. He knows the best way to bring a beautiful smile to your lips and can easily make sure to avoid the thoughts that brought you down in the first place.

He’ll share stories that will make you die of laughter or feel so wholesome that you literally melt at how sweet it is.

The few times he expresses and shares his insecurities to you, something he hides within him because he trusts you enough to do so. He loves your understanding and comfort for him.

Ace always reminds you that you’ll be okay, even at the worst times.

“You are the light of my life.”

-

Chief of Staff Sabo

Sabo loves you like a prince. He holds the door for you, takes your hand so you don’t fall, has the most charismatic smile on his face and is just so charming.

Sabo will remember the littlest things, the smallest details that you yourself don’t even know until he reminds you, and because of this, you are often gifted the most memorable and cherishing gifts, like the scarf you two bought for your perfect snowman, to the necklace you were staring a little too longingly at on display.

He’s always busy, but he doesn’t hesitate to drop whatever he has just for you. He will run through fire if it means you’ll stop crying or if you’ll be happy to see him. You are his lifeline, his soul, his love.

He may not know how to properly cheer you up like his brothers can, but he knows that he wants the best for you. If you need space, you got it. You need some tender loving cuddles and buckets of ice cream while watching Disney movies? Vanilla or chocolate ice cream?

Sabo reminds you that you deserve happiness and peace.

“Whenever you need me, I’ll be there.”

-

Trafalgar D. Water Law

Law loves you like you’re his savior, someone who’s always there during his time of need and insecurities, by his side when he needs you most.

He’s a little blunt and straightforward occasionally, but he’s honest somewhat. He won’t ever tell you his feelings until he deems it the right time, but you can tell he has feelings by the change in treatment.

He’ll keep you closer to him, making excuses by saying that he needs you to help him with the supply run, or that he needs your assistance with a particular menial task.

He’s awkward and shy about it at first but he cares and that’s all you need to know. Especially once you catch him during one of his weaker times, the anniversary of a particular someone rolling around, where he’s locked in his room. He needs you beside him, so please don’t leave him when he needs you.

Law reminds you that you are human, that it’s okay to be vulnerable.

“Just stay here with me.”

-

Vinsmoke Sanji

Sanji loves you like a god/goddess. He will treat you with the utmost respect and care and offers you everything you could possibly want or need, just say the word.

His genuine, endless daily compliments are given to you with pure love and passion, his daily refreshments and snacks to keep you energized and hydrated keeps an eye out for your health.

He makes sure you know the true meaning of flattery, chivalry and love, because that is all he can show you.

However, under that chivalrous exterior, is his calmer, understanding loving self, where he shows his true self and when he finally shares this side with you, where he holds his insecurities, it’s the true honor and love you can receive. And it’s even better, when you become the one who loves for him in return during this time.

Sanji reminds you that you deserve to be and are loved.

“You are my world, my everything.”

-

Marco The Phoenix

Marco loves you like a married couple who grew old together, still playing jokes and having fun to life’s fullest, no matter your age.

He’s constantly lecturing you for the smallest things repeatedly, since you always seem to forget. His lectures lack any annoyance or malice though, he’s just kind of done with you sometimes.

Nonetheless, he’s taking care of you more than you think, always the first one there whenever you need help. He’s always prepared for whatever you need so you don’t have to look for it and get worried.

He’s stern at times but he loves you more than you could ever know, often questioning himself whenever he’s beside you. He half-lidded eyes watching you with warmth and admiration because you always look so determined.

Marco always reminds you that you are free. To live life to its fullest and however you wish.

“Let me fly you to the moon.”

-

Donquixote Rosinante

Rosinante loves you like a husband, he treats you like his wife, either you or him welcoming each other home after being gone for so long and greeting each other with a loving kiss each time.

He knows just how tough things can be and as much as he tries to make things right, he knows how bad situations really are and no matter how much he wants to cry or get angry, he always holds a smile, in front of you. To assure you that things will be okay.

He gives the warmest hugs, and knows that, so whenever you’re angry or sad, or just randomly at times, Rosi envelops you into a large hug, waddling you back and forth a few times, you feel instant relief and content, which makes him smile.

His priority will always be you, even if he’s hundreds of thousands miles away, he will find his way back home to you. He surprises you with the littlest gifts; being flowers, jewelry, candles, or more.

Rosi will always remind you to smile, even during the hardest times.

“I will protect you.”

-

Eustass Kid

Kid loves you like a game, it’s unexpected, unpredictable of what will happen and it’s exciting and thrilling. For you both, one wrong move, and the other is gone for good, but perhaps, second chances/rematches are available.

He can be brash and a bit much, but Kid has high respect for anyone who actually makes it onto his crew and can actually tolerate him, you included.

He’s loud and wild but that only makes it part of the fun. With such a short fuse, as long as you play your cards right and pick your moments to bite back, it’s kind of fun knowing how dangerous it can be with a guy like Kid, and he also loves it equally, because your feistiness is attractive.

Being a bad bitch that doesn’t play by the rules is so incredibly attractive and Kid knows how to reward and punish so tread carefully. ;) however, he has his down moments and as annoying he can be, he does appreciate the effort you give if you try to comfort him. He’ll be harsh about it but eventually, he just wants you to be with him in the end.

Kid reminds you to rebel, take risks and enjoy the thrill of getting in dangerous situation every once in a while, breaking a few rules doesn’t hurt anybody. Most of the time.

“Don’t fucking ever leave me.. okay?”

-

Dracule Mihawk

Mihawk loves you like you’re an empress, only the finest and highest quality for you, nothing else can compare.

Mihawk will buy you the most expensive dress that suits you, with an equally expensive matching jewelry to go with. Not to mention the heels, and, tch, how could he forget the roses you require? Despicable.

As much as he loves to show you off, he despises the stares of awe and admiration you receive whenever you go out, so his possessiveness takes over and he has an arm around your waist at all times, successfully showing you’re taken and to back off if they don’t wish to be cut into oblivion.

He trains you to handle yourself, obviously, you should know at least some basic skills. He’s not too hard on you but does push you to keep going until you truly wish to stop. It’s only because he’s worried that one day, he won’t be there and won’t be able to protect you.

Mihawk reminds you that you are a queen/king, a strong person who shall hold your ground and never back down from fear and show your bravery.

“Come here, mi amor.”

-

Red Haired Shanks

Shanks loves you like you’re his future. It’s an unknown journey, but he’s there for the ride and whatever may happen, he’s there staying and won’t be going anywhere, unless it’s with you.

The red head is a goofball, he drinks, parties and messes around but he is an incredible captain and genuine to a fault. So when he expresses kindness, it is purely from his heart and not out of manners.

He is extremely playful and yet when down to business, he is calm, collected, and cool. He knows just what to say in tough situations and great comforting advice, so he’s the one to go to when you’re feeling down. And as laid back as he is, disrespect to those he loves is the one shit he won’t take.

He’ll hold you close and with his signature grin, compliment you and tell you how much he appreciates you and as soon as someone lays a finger on you, his hand is on the hilt of the sword and he waits three seconds for an explanation before he cuts them down. No one messes with his beloved.

Shanks reminds you of loyalty. To always protect and care for those close to you, and keep that built up trust and bond you created with them.

“Trust me. I won’t let go of you.”

-

Charlotte Katakuri

Katakuri loves you like you’re glass, he’s careful, protective, cautious and treats you like you’re fragile, because he’s afraid of hurting you.

He’s larger than most, he’s aware of that, so he always takes the precautions to be aware of his surroundings, especially when you are around. He wants you safe and he will be devastated if he is the cause of your pain.

His large stature is a blessing to you though, because cuddling is so comfortable and comforting, it’s amazing. You can curl up and relax and just be at ease with him, because he’s so protective of you, even from his family members. He often keeps you away from Cracker and Perospero, in the slightest chance that they try to take you away from him.

He’ll be extremely heartbroken if Big Mom doesn’t approve of you, but his love for you is stronger, so he’ll keep it a secret if he has to but eventually, he’ll pray and wish for her blessing, asking the help of his siblings to convince her.

Katakuri reminds you of family, that even friends or crewmates are family and love you all the same.

“I will be here for you.”

-

Captain Koby

Koby loves you like a typical high school crush. He’s all shy and blushy, and evidently embarrassed when the pretty one at school is talking to him, ( that’s you. ).

He’s like the wallflower type, who tries to blend in but somehow, he sticks out in a way that lures you to him, like he’s hit the jackpot.

He is incredibly sweet, and his shyness is so adorable. You can’t help but coo whenever you see his red cheeks and soft smile of care he offers.

Always helps you with everything, will take the blame whenever you get in trouble, takes the suffering and pain when guys try to mess with you, and no matter how tough things get, he’s holding a brave face for you.

Koby reminds you of kindness, treat everyone with care and kindness, and it goes a long way.

“If you fall, I’ll be there to catch you.”

-

16th Division Commander Izo

Izo loves you like you’re a painting, he thinks you are true beauty, inside and out, you are a work of art, a true Mother Nature masterpiece born. One to be admired.

The type to be there. He’ll hold your hair while you vomit, rubbing soothing circles on your back while you cry, painting your nails while you complain about Ace, assure your perfection when you’re feeling insecure.

Best advice giver, holds no judgements at all. He’ll help with anything, because you need him. Romantic advice, friendship, sexual advice ;), he will help you any way he can.

He truly admires you, not because of your beauty, but your strength to be able to cry. Crying doesn’t mean weakness but rather, strength to be able to move forward even in the worst of times.

Izo reminds you that you are beautiful, no matter what anyone thinks or says.

“You are true beauty, my love.”

-

Cavendish Of The White Horse

Cavendish loves you like you’re a princess, and he is your handsome Prince Charming.

Every thing he does it like from a fairytale, if it involved a rather.. bit of a narcissistic Prince Charming. But he means well, because he still treats you like a real princess.

He gives you daily horseback rides, teaching you with his strong arms wrapped around yours and his black fancy hat on top of your head, as you two ride around and share laughs and memories.

And even through his big ego, he still makes sure to compliment you, tell you how proud he is of you and how much he truly admires you for your strong will and determination, because he really does love you. More than you know.

Cavendish reminds you that dreams can come true, sometimes it just takes a leap of faith and effort.

“I will treat you like the princess you are and deserve to be.”

-

A/N : 15 fucking people and having to think of different things while I’m distracted is so HARD. 😭 please tell me you enjoyed though ;-;

but did I do this already? God I can’t remember a thing, especially since I still haven’t updated my masterlists- and I’m terribly sorry if this really is all over the place ;-; also apologies if this is repetitive for some of them! It really is difficult yk ;-;