#<- through gritted teeth
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rating: T
relationships: Silena Beauregard/Clarisse La Rue, minor Silena Beauregard/Charles Beckendorf
additional tags: Fluff and Angst, Oblivious Silena Beauregard, Feelings Realisation
word count: 6560
written for @sapphic-summer-riordanverse day 4 & 5: "fruit" + "history repeats itself"
It was comfortable to lie here like this, with her head in Clarisse’s lap, talking and eating and watching the sunset work its magic upon the landscape. She felt warm inside, giddy and content and free. Here, in this moment, she was the happiest she had ever been.
(If only she had known what was to come.)
[Silena and Clarisse go strawberry picking together.]
#I ❤ when characters are oblivious & jump to conclusions & are literally sososo wrong#ruegard#percy jackon and the olympians#silena beauregard#clarisse la rue#my fics#my fics: pjo#my fics: riordanverse#e#not sure how much I like this bc it was a rush job (exams are the bane of my existence) & I would have liked more time to edit & this isn't#quite what I had envisioned when I got the idea uhh two months ago? but it's the best I can do atm and I (mostly) had fun writing it so#may edit/revise it in the future but this is it for now#<- through gritted teeth
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fortifying myself to write an essay with decaffeinated coffee and very much non-alcoholic apple juice, like a knight gearing up for battle in paper armour and a sword made of cardboard
#it's going fine#by the way#<- is lying#<- through gritted teeth#oh broken laptop keyboard we're really in it now
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nothing that day old ciabatta and four cups of coffee and walking my dogs in the woods and a summer thunderstorm under a tin roof and a cigarette and a letter from an old friend and writing rpf in the notes app and a new candle and peeling a sunburn so the new pink skin blooms through and fall out boy’s sixth studio album american beauty/american psycho on a loop won’t fix
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Killing and maiming
#liv talks#another doctor tomorrow fellassss#might have another infection. fml 😭😭#i get these way too fucking frequently i need to see about a specialist probably :/#whatever. its fine. this is FINE.#<- through gritted teeth
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When i get freed from the bounds of mark schemes im gonna have so many copies of the same goddamn rainworld study you guys wont even believe
#<- through gritted teeth#rainworld is a beautiful game but i am finding its art very difficult to translate into a non-pixel art style#or… not exactly difficult i guess. just. tedious. time consuming. my eyes keep bugging out#normal barking
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worst part about ageing is it gets more and more difficult to be normal about people who got to transition as teens
#ur 23 and 6 years post top surgery.. wow im so happy for you#<- through gritted teeth#txt#i could have started t at 16 if my parents were less evil. now im not getting anything until 22 at the earliest -__-#i know this is still relatively young. still feels bad to know i couldve started 5 years ago
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Tumblr's april fools joke towards me was telling me I had 26 new followers (all bots btw) and when I went to go remove them, I was greeted by like 100+ of them
#nonny's nonsense#april fools#april fool's day#thanks tumblr I appreciate it#<- through gritted teeth#nonny's nonsense in tags#as I was typing this out I was getting booped by two of my mutuals#YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE#might delete later
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I am loved! 😊 [white knuckle gripping the sink unable to meet my own bloodshot eyes]
#[through gritted teeth] people care about me even if they don't explicitly state it!#misc#vent#pmdd
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EVAN BUCKLEY WEEK 2024 Day 5: Buck + bi disaster moments (x)
#911#911edit#evan buckley#evanbuckleyedit#maddie buckley#bobby nash#eddie diaz#chimney han#buddie#911verse#tvedit#cinematv#buckweek2024#sophgifs#i hate this set with a burning passion but you know what sometimes you gotta post what you hate anyway#(i say through gritted teeth and finger hovering over the delete button)
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House MD depicts an autistic who has gotten insanely good at reading people and is just in too much pain to use it for social engineering much beyond his weird little pranks and machinations. my dad is this type of autist, i think of it as the Frasier Crane type as opposed to the Star Trek type. you know. capable of being jocular, jovial, charming, even seductive, but it requires so much bandwidth its still extremely taxing. i have been telling you on this blog for ten years that it is in your best interests to become jocular. it will stun you how much better you are at reading people than the majority of neurotypicals. there's no reason for them to get good at it when they dont even know what there is to get good at. microexpressions are real and i can see them
#blog#autism#of course you dont know whats going on you cant see anyones face!!! thats where all the information is#youre bad at reading people because it causes you physical pain to look someone in the eyes so of course youve had 1/1000th of the practice#this is due to the information overload#grit your teeth through it#they cant tell youre not smiling
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ive been thinking about how the first game in the timeline begins cuz he couldn't catch her as she fell from the sky and the last game ends because he could catch her.
#zelink#'MJ I THOUGHT YOU WERENT INTO ZELINK' I FUCKING WASNT???#but. (saying this through gritted teeth and snot and tears) what the fuck#tears of the kingdom#skyward sword#loz#legend of zelda#totk#uhhh#totk spoilers#tears of the kingdom spoilers#loz spoilers#the legend of zelda#eyestrain#legend of zelda spoilers#ant art
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capcom i'm not fucking calling him that. i hope you know that
#ace attorney#ace attorney investigations#sebastian debeste#eustace winner#<- said through gritted teeth#clai's art#ray wasnt safe either Eddie Fender makes me want to explode#justine has a nice name at LEAST thank god. anything to make up for EUSTACE WINNER#damn this is my first ace attorney art in a WHILE how are you aa fans
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Through Me (The Flood) - secret baby fic Simon Riley / female reader requested by multiple: doctor visit
The pediatrician's office is very bright.
Bright walls, bright furniture, bright toys. The hallway is painted a bright blue, dotted with wispy, spongey clouds, spiraling in patterns from floor to ceiling.
The exam room is not much better. It's yellow. Supposed to be soothing, you tell him. It's anything but.
The bright colors unsettle him, but he shoves it down. Swallows the gnawing anxiety brewing in the back of his mind, forces away the spiral attempting to swallow him whole. He falls back on what gives him comfort, what allows him to sleep at night, what makes him feel whole. The only one who doesn't make him feel torn to shreds. The one who can touch his bare skin without making him shake. You.
You're nervous too. It started when you got the baby undressed, and has only gone downhill from there. He can see it in the way you pace back and forth in the room, holding Ry to your chest, bouncing him, rubbing his back. There's dread scrawled into your expression, grim unease radiating from your bones.
"C'mere mama." He reaches, pulling your forearm and tugging you close, resting his chin on top of your head. You relax, but barely. "Everything's going to be alright."
"He hates shots."
"He's a baby, course he does. Can't blame 'im. Huh bub?" He strokes Orion's chubby and round cheek, tilting his head to press a kiss to your temple.
Someone knocks on the door, and it creaks open.
"Hi!" A young woman in a white coat smiles at them, giving Simon an odd look before stepping forward. He swallows the acid burning the back of his throat.
"Hey, Dr. Marsh." You greet weakly, face pinched. She says hello, and washes her hands, keeping a stream of chatter until she's seated on a rolling stool with an iPad in her hand.
"How's our big man?"
"Still big." You quip drily, and she laughs, glancing up at Simon. You look at him too, and then your mouth drops into a little o. "Sorry, this is Simon. Orion's dad." She stands, extends her hand. He takes it, careful to not squeeze too tight before letting go and hanging his own rigidly by his side, tense, like he's priming for a fight of some kind.
"I guess we know where he gets his size from." Fingers tap across the screen, and then she sets it on the examination table. "So, how is it going?"
"Fine, good, I think. He's still feeding every three hours. I feel like he's gained ten pounds since our last visit." She nods. "I've been trying to pump as much as I can but... there's just... not as much."
"That can happen. If you're still happy with breastfeeding, I don't have any concerns. Of course, if you want to stop, that's more than okay. As long as he's getting what he needs, there's no wrong way to feed him." You nod, rubbing his back. Dr. Marsh asks about any other concerns, and after you say you have none, she reaches for him. "Let's see if our guy is still a ninety nine percenter, huh?" Simon frowns.
"Ninety nine percenter?"
"He's uh, in the ninety nine percentile. Very big."
"Very big, and very tall." Dr. Marsh says from over her shoulder, where she's now got Orion on the baby scale. "Born at what mum, four and a half kilograms?" Simon blanches. Bloody hell. You haven't really told him too much about the birth, and he hasn't pushed you on it. Maybe this is why. You don't have a c-section scar, and he winces thinking about you giving birth, naturally. He should have been there. Should have held your hand, told you how amazing you were. How strong. The familiar feeling of regret resurfaces, and he gives you an apologetic look. You shrug with a little smile.
"He looked like a giant in the nursery, next to all the... regular sized babies." Dr. Marsh laughs, but Simon grimaces. Guilt settles in his stomach like a rock.
"Sorry, mama." He apologizes sheepishly, squeezing your hand, and you rub your thumb over his knuckles.
"It's okay, I kinda," your eyes sweep over him from head to toe, "expected it."
"Alright, so," Dr. Marsh brings Ry back over, handing him to you, but Simon intervenes, pulling him into his arms. He worries about your back. She smiles again, types something into the tablet, and then clears her throat, "growth is slowing down."
"Is that bad?" You sound alarmed, and she shakes her head.
"Not bad, considering he's been outperforming in height and weight since he was born. This happens, it's normal, there's nothing to worry about. However, he's still in the nineties. Just shy of eight kilograms."
"What's normal?" He's curious now, wondering how big his son is really, compared to others. He'd even feel proud, if he wasn't worried about the trauma having him may have caused you.
"Fiftieth percentile is around six. Now," she rests her hands on her thighs, and levels a serious look at you. "How are you? Sleep getting any better? Are you keeping up on hydration?" Simon peeks down at you, lips tugged into a firm line.
"He still feeds every three hours, and I'm the source so... not really."
"Any more dizzy spells?" What? His head snaps your direction. Orion gurgles, and he pats his back absentmindedly. Dizzy spells? Why haven't you said anything?
"Uh, not really. Maybe a few."
"Breastfeeding can take a lot out of you. It uses a lot of metabolic energy, so try to make sure you're eating enough and drinking a lot of water. It's normal to feel exhausted or fatigued, but taking care of your nutritional needs will go a long way. I know I sound like a broken record but, I think it will help. You might also try talking to your OB, since you know... I'm only a little human doctor." You swallow.
"Okay." She gives you a serious look, and you nod.
"Alright then, let's move on to everyone's favorite part."
He holds Orion for the entirety of the rest of the visit. He squirms and screams as he gets his shots, crying at the top of his lungs, and Simon closes his eyes at one point to take a deep breath. He's okay. He's safe. They're both safe. They're here.
You take him afterward, lips to the top of his head, eyes closed as you whisper. "Shhh, I know baby, I know. It's over now. All done. You were so brave." Simon's heart aches. It hurts to know you're struggling, that you see yourself as a failure, when it's so blatant that you're anything but. He's going to fix that.
You stop at the reception desk, lingering until the girl behind it gets off the phone. "Um, can we update Orion's emergency contact list? I want his dad to be on there, too." Simon looks down at you, momentarily dumbstruck. Sweet, sweet girl. Sweet little kitten. The receptionist smiles brightly, taking the information he provides, phone number, back up phone number (work cell) and his name.
The two of you head towards the elevator, and you give him a hesitant look as you step inside. "You don't mind right? I didn't want to overstep but... you're his parent too, I thought you might want to be-" You don't get to finish before he's swooping down with a hand at the small of your back and another on the baby's head, slamming his lips to yours so fiercely your breath hitches.
"Mama," he kisses your forehead, and then cups your chin. "You and Orion are my family now. You're it for me, and I'm chuffed you'd think to put me down as an emergency contact." You jerk back at his words, eyes wide. Too much? Too soon? Too strong? He doesn't care. He needs to start easing you into it, getting you used to the new reality, before he's moving you and the baby out of your flat and giving you a new last name.
"Simon." You whisper, but he shakes his head.
"I told you. I wanted you the night we made him, and I still do. You're everything. You're mine. You and our boy." You don't say anything, and the silence kills him until you reach for his hand, interlacing your fingers with his. "An' we're going to have a talk about you getting dizzy and not saying anything to me. Alright?" You gulp.
"Alright."
#grits teeth#these are getting longer#through me (the flood)#peaches writes#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#unedited so mind the mistakes
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wip of a silly lil’ animatic/animation for magnuns
coming live hopefully someday maybe this year still but maybe not
#the magnus archives#tma#wip#animation#/through gritted teeth/ i love animating#i am incapable of grasping the difference between animatic and animation because i cannot chose one#its both its neither its something in between#indigoniteart
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team cohesion designed to give jack a tension migraine ft. sam and daniel "urgo" 3.16
#sam and daniel looking at each other vibing with their shared brainwave while jack prays for the sweet release of death#stargate#sg-1#stargateedit#sam carter#amanda tapping#jack o'neill#richard dean anderson#daniel jackson#michael shanks#s3#ep16#3.16#***edits#jack's tone to sam is very much 'please. please don't do this to me. please i am begging' and to daniel 'I AM GOING TO KILL YOU'#he knows they're both right. always.#but with sam it's like *sighs deeply*yeah. she's right. she always is.'#and with daniel *through gritted teeth* 'never tell him this but he is always right. godDAMN'
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no context comic wip [id in alt]
edit: full comic here
#sokka#atla#avatar the last airbender#sokka fanart#through gritted teeth. i will get this comic done#i really like the idea but im fighting against anatomy. both drawing wise and my own. hnggg#edit: yall im so tired idk how i confused chitter chatter with i guess just. chitter? chittering? shudder? what's the cold sfx
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