#<- tagged because I should explain my forgetful ass

[s1lv3rp4w3dc4t]

remind me to take down my bi flag........ SO I CAN WRAP IT AROUND ME LIKE A COOL CAPE AND DANCE AROUND MY ROOM LIKE A CRAZY FOOL WOOOOOOO

[bueckerrss]

FORGET ABOUT HIM - AZZI FUDD

summary𞠬: azzi helps you forget about your ex

warnings: cheating (not involving azzi) partying, kissing, drinking, cursing.

tags: @patscorner @wintersstan @pbueckerslover @h34rtsformilli @cosmopretty @st4rrzynight @authentic-girl03

masterlist | taglist

𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻

“y/n?” said Azzi as she let herself into your apartment looking at the state of it she knew it was a bad breakup. I mean you guys had been dating for three almost four years and to find out he was cheating on you with your sister was enough to break you, you’d expected that from him considering how he always flirted with other girls, but from your sister? it was safe to say you felt betrayed.

“Hey babe, how are you doing?” she said as she peaked her head into your bedroom, “I feel like shit, I’ve been crying for way too long” you whispered your voice hoarse from the lack of water and those late nights you’ve spent sobbing. “I got an idea, how about we go out tonight? There’s this party happening and I want you there plus this would be a great distraction for you!” she said with a hopeful smile, you thought about it but Azzi was right you did need to get out “Okay I’ll go” you said smiling at the girl in front of you having the biggest smile on her face.

-

The loud music and the alcohol enlightened something in you. you were accepting drinks left and right not a care in the world. You were in the middle of downing a shot when Azzi tapped your shoulder trying to get your attention “Hey, it’s getting late we should start heading back do you want to spend the night at my house?” she said looking into your eyes, “yea this party is boring anyway.” you slurred stumbling across the floor towards the exit of the house azzi a few steps behind.

the chilly storrs air was refreshing from the stuffy air inside the house, “give me your keys” said azzi as she approached you “why?” you hiccuped pulling your keys closer to you “because you’re more wasted than me and i would love to get home in one piece thank you” she explained as she got closer reaching for your keys.

her breath fanning against your skin, you could practically feel her warmth radiating off her body. your eyes flickered down towards her lips, your thoughts suddenly shifting into something else you’ve never thought of before about your best friend. without thinking you pulled her towards you into a passionate kiss. she pulled away her expression unreadable “fuck, uh i’m sorry i don’t know what got into m-” before you could finish your sentence she had pulled you into a kiss, this time more desirable and desperate.

“how about we continue this somewhere more private?” azzi whispered in between kisses all you could do was nod your head before you both got into the car.

𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻𖢻

a/n: i had this in my drafts for months and decided to finish it and post it so it’s half ass hope yall like it 🙏🏽

[bullet-prooflove]

Live: Dean Archer x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @mandy426 @chicagotrio101 @mysticcandymiracle @sweetdaytimedreams

Companion piece to:

The Study:

Part One: Courting Disaster - Dean realises Jack is courting you.

Part Two: Distance - Dean tries to discuss the distance between the two of you.

Part Three: Deserving - Jack tries to show you, you deserve better.

Part Four: Navy Shirt - You and Dean don't keep secrets.

Part Five: A Punch In The Face - Dean reacts badly to the news about Jack Dayton.

Part Six: Blow After Blow - Dean doesn't know how much more you can take

Part Seven: Cutting - Dean's surprised when Jack Dayton turns up on his doorstep.

The Wrong One - After a disagreement Dean is forced to confront his choices.

The Deepest Cut - Dean discovers the effect his illness is having on you.

One Rule - You and Dean try to forget about his illness for a night.

By the time your counsellor suggests a joint session, Dean is willing to try anything. It’s been almost a month since he’s slept in the same bed as you and he can feel himself dying inside with every night goes by. It’s no secret that your marriage is on life support and if this is the thing that prevents you from pulling the plug, he’s game.

What he doesn’t expect is how gut wrenching it is. Your pain is a gaping wound you’ve been trying to stifle since you received the news that Dean was in end stage renal failure. It spills out throughout the session; your devastation at his diagnosis, the  struggle to put on a brave face as you supported him and then finally his refusal to accept Sean’s kidney, how it stripped away the very last essence of your self-worth.

“Isobel…” Dean whispers as he turns to face you on the couch. “That decision it was never about you.”

And that is exactly what the problem is. None of this has been about you. Your thoughts your feelings, they didn’t matter because it’s Dean that’s coping with this illness, Dean that’s been enduring it. That’s why you had to put some distance between the two of you, to make some space for yourself, to allow yourself to feel the things you’ve been hiding from Dean.

“You reached a breaking point.” Dean says with understanding as he clasps your hand in his. “I should have been looking after you. I should have…”

“No my love.” You say squeezing his hand tightly. “We should have been looking after each other.”

“Maybe you should try explaining to Isobel why you turned down Sean’s kidney.” Your counsellor suggests as she sits across from the two of you. “Help her to understand your decision.”

It’s hard for him to vocalise the feelings that raise up in his chest when he thinks about accepting his son’s donation. Their relationship is better than ever and he’s proud of the man Sean has become but he can never forget his own complicity in his son’s spiral. The desolation he felt when Sean had revealed he’d been a victim of abuse. The knowledge that he had kept sending him back to that man, week after week thinking it was building character when the truth was he was ruining his son, raping him, plying him with pills. He was supposed to protect Sean from shit like that, instead he’d had his head too far up his own ass because his marriage was failing and he couldn’t see the wood for the trees.

“I was a terrible father.” He tells you, his voice raw with emotion. “I let him get hurt Isobel, I basically gave him to that animal and I didn’t just do it once, I did it over and over again because I thought Navy Cadets would straighten him out. I didn’t realise it was the reason he was acting out, that I was helping to destroy him.”

“Dean…” You begin but he cuts you off.

“I can’t let him give up a piece of him to save me. I can’t ask that of him…”

“You are not a terrible person.” You say softly as you cradle his face between your hands. “I don’t think that and Sean doesn’t think that. He is trying to give you this because he loves you, because he wants time with you, a connection to you. If you deny him this, if you deny me this, it’ll destroy us, it’s already destroying us.”

Dean takes those words home with him that night, he thinks about them as he lies alone in bed, listening to the sounds of the dialysis machine as it pumps the toxins from his body.

“There’s nothing to forgive.” Sean had told him, when they’d cried together over the abuse. “You couldn’t protect me from something you had no knowledge of.”

It doesn’t stop that feeling of guilt, of worthlessness that nestles deep inside of him. He doubts that anything ever will but you’re right, he owes it to his son to give him more time, to keep building that relationship, to how him how much he loves him. He owes it to you too.

He’s about to call you when he hears the front door unlock, the sound of your suitcase across the tiles in the kitchen. Your footsteps are light on the stairs, quiet like they always are. Part of him can’t allow himself to hope that you’ve come back to him, not until you open the bedroom door and stand before him.

“I was hoping we could have a sleepover.” You say quietly and the edges of Dean’s mouth tip up into a smile as he pats the space alongside of him.

“There’s always room for you.”

He watches as you take out his old Navy t-shirt from the dresser before you begin to remove your clothes. He catches the flash of fresh scarring across your inner thigh and your gaze meets his.

“I’m doing better now.” You assure him. “I just needed a little time to get my shit together.”

“I guess I did too.” He says as you climb under the sheets alongside him.

He wraps his arms around you, drawing you close and you nestle into his chest, fitting perfectly against him, the way you always do. He’s missed this, the nights he gets to spend holding you, loving you. He wants more of this, more of you, more of Sean. He wants to live, to see Sean marry Roxie, to meet the children they’ll have, watch them grow. He wants to get five years down the line and celebrate your ten year wedding anniversary by making you his wife all over again.

“I’m going to have the surgery Isobel.” He says finally, his lips brushing over your temple. “I want to live, for you, for Sean and for me.”

Love Dean? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[mwolf0epsilon]

Sometimes being in the SW Fandom is about diving into the annals of the internet researching the most obscure tidbit of batshit insane Canon or EU Lore imaginable to man (which is honestly my favorite thing to do because people have done some pretty insanely funny things with this universe and characters). But for the majority of the time, being in the SW Fandom is also watching people repeat a cycle of asinine arguments that make an absolute ass out of them for the worst possible reasons.

So here's a quick reminder of past arguments to be mindful of and always consider, when you see something in the tags that makes you wrinkle your nose at:

Everyone has something they like or dislike about the overall universe and story. Be it the Original Trilogy, the Prequels, the Sequels, the Animated series, the Live-Action series, EU stuff, Novels, etc. No one is above or below anyone else just because they don't love the entirety of the universe and/or the direction the current writers are taking it.

Canon can be a good baseline for your own creative purposes. You don't have to love it (because yes the whole thing can be inconsistent as hell), but don't get to a point in your fanfic/AU world-building where you vehemently deny that canon is an actual thing. This goes hand in hand with your personal depiction of characters vs someone else's depictions. Reading comprehension and the creative process depend on perspective and how you process the information you're given, so it's only normal that no two person's idea of a character is the same. But saying that your headcanons are how the characters should be written by everyone is not gonna do you any favors in the long run, because it's not up to you to decide on that. Don't forget Blorbo's actual roots and what it took to get him where you took him, but don't try to force someone else to accept the journey you orchestrated for them!

No one's OC should be put on a pedestal. It's good that people feel comfortable enough to play Barbies with each other's OCs in roleplay sessions, or even add a cameo in a fic to a character of a friend and/or artist/writer they admire from a distance. Hell, the fact many people are passionate about someone else's little fella/s is great! But the moment someone's OC becomes an object of obsession within a Fandom community, things can go a little wrong... It stops being fun to be in that kind of space that goes from welcoming OC discussions to suddenly shunning new people in favor of someone's Ultimate Blorbo who now has a Cult Following and should be written into every fanfic ever.

No one is evil for lacking knowledge or self-awareness of certain grievances that people rightfully have with the source material. The SW Fandom has always had a long-standing issue with racial stereotyping, whitewashing, cultural appropriation, sexism and many other equally serious topics that have been more eloquently explained in posts made by people much more eloquent and qualified than I am or ever will be. However, one must recognize that not everyone who joins the Fandom is immediately aware of these things. Especially the younger generations that have either not been exposed to these concepts due to one reason or another (upbringing, biased educational curriculum, etc), or because they were simply never in a position where they could delve into these topics with someone knowledgeable on them (some experiences simply aren't universal, especially if you come from a more privileged family). For the most part, SW is just a silly sci-fi universe that is nothing more than a simple means of escapism or dumb fun. Not everyone is going to study it under a microscope or go through it with a fine comb. That said, another important thing to remember is to listen to those who know their stuff and that have had personal grievances with any of the topics above. You can be excused for lack of knowledge, but you cannot be excused for purposefully ignoring the voices of those who provide you said knowledge for free if you go searching.

This is kinda returning to the second and previous topics, but I really need to put emphasis on this: If you're going to cling to certain design choices with an iron first and incorporate them into your personal ideas/headcanons, please always consider how it SOUNDS when you say characters that are written with basis on real POC people/communities are much better/superior if they have phenotypical trait expressions that are not present (or considered rare/atypical) in their real world basis. This is a CONSISTENT problem I have seen crop up specifically within the Clone Wars and Bad Batch sides of the fandom, especially when talking about Rex (who is a blond) and Clone Force 99 (who do not look like standard clones). Always remember: The problem isn't that Rex can't be naturally blond (genetics can be unpredictable and we really don't have an extensive look into the cloning process), the problem is the way some people think he'd be inferior in some way if he were a bottle blond who chose to distinguish himself (almost as if having darker skin, darker hair and darker eyes is somehow worse than having lighter skin, lighter hair or lighter eyes.. How curious isn't it?). Needless to say, I don't think I need to elaborate further on why CF99's "desirable mutations" giving them considerably lighter skin and less ethnic features, while also making their most POC presenting member look and sometimes act like a moronic brute (something which this Fandom pushes further by infantilizing him relentlessly), is a bit of a red flag...

Star Wars has always been political. It is literally in the name and in the meat of the writing. The entire thing is basically a political and social critique presented in a sci-fi/fantasy wrapper, with colorful plasma swords, cool spaceships, and kickass explosion bow on top. You cannot separate the political conversation from the universe's overall lore, and trying to do so makes you look foolish. Disney may have taken creative liberties with some of its shows, but at the end of the day they can't ever eliminate what the Original Trilogies and even the Prequels tried to tell us about. With that said, complaining about how some of the new shows are "too Woke" or PC is the equivalent of saying you read Romeo and Juliet and that the story is relationship goals. You might need to revisit the original material.

For the love of god if you don't like something, don't go after someone who does, it's not worth it. Sometimes the best thing you can do is either filter something you actively dislike/that makes you feel uncomfortable, or simply unfollow/block whoever is repeatedly bringing it onto your doorstep. And you also have no real obligation to explain your decision to block someone, especially if they hound you for questions. Rule of thumb: Don't like something? That's perfectly fine and valid. Take the steps to make yourself comfortable then, but don't go out of your way to be a royal asshole to someone else just because they themselves enjoy it. This encompasses things from anti-jedi demonization, actual ethnic cleansing in canon, siding with personifications of alt-right extremists, proshipping apologism, etc. The block button was added to this hellsite for a reason. Use it.

Sometimes you can't change someone else's opinions on a matter and that is perfectly fine. Just don't start a feud. People come and go, and their opinions vary (we're all individuals with out own perspectives and unique experiences after all), but getting up in arms every time someone either refuses to yield in a long-winded argument, or continuously tries to shove their unsolicited opinions/advice onto you, or even makes incredibly uncomfortable/forward/gross comments that they definitely shouldn't be saying to a complete stranger on the internet, is kind of pointless and will drain you of energy faster than you can say Death Star. You're not the lesser person for walking away from a lost cause. It's ultimately not your job or responsibility to fix/better someone else. Especially if they don't want to change.

[gx-gameon]

Just some crack but a funny way that Aster finds out just who Jaden is in your AU.

What people forget is that Aster basically called out Jaden as a copycat on live TV, which might have had some real consequences for Jaden given everything Sartorius was up to (including sending his lawyer after Jaden). Since Seto basically owns the Pro League Circuit, I can imagine something like this going down after season 2 is over: Emeralda: What did you two do?! Sartorius: I plead innocent via act of possession. Aster: I listened to Sartorius. Seto: Gentlemen, you're not gonna sit here and pretend there's not a big-ass elephant in the room. Emeralda: Could you please explain to us what is going on, Mr. Kaiba? Seto: *turns a picture frame next to his "World's Best Oto-san" mug on desk around, revealing a photo of Jaden*  This is what is going on! Sartorius & Emerald: *immediately putting the pieces together* OH. Aster: *going through the 5 stages of grief at the same time as he remembers every time Jaden gave details of his family* Seto: Now, could you all explain to me one more time as to why I had to call every duelist sponsor on the planet to have them retract my son's blacklisting?

I know Aster calls Jaden out on live tv but I didn’t think about Spencer’s blacklisting him because of it.

You know Seto is furious. Like the fact he waited this long to drag them all in front of him was because Jaden wanted to handle it with a duel. (He lost) then Jaden wasn’t able to see his cards/got sent to a mini dimension. Then Jaden wanted to handle Sartorius on his own, “there’s something not right here Oto-san let me check it out.”

Jaden has been their saving grace. But he can’t shield them forever. Now that everything is settled and Seto knows it was a possessions situation. That still doesn’t change the facts that Jaden got blacklisted because of this kid. Or that Jaden will know have to face an uphill battle if he ever joins the pro-leagues because that interview will forever be in peoples minds. That his baby boy, who has been using hero cards before they were a proper archetype, has somehow copied this kid. Sure it will be better if Jaden uses exclusively Neospacians and Aster uses Destiny hero’s (they are different archetypes) but anytime Jaden breaks out the Elemental hero’s he’s going to be compared to Aster and the video clip of Aster calling him a copy cat is going to resurface.

His boy deserves so much better.

And you know aster is sitting there losing his mind staring at the photo is Jaden. Like he already feels bad about the interview. He didn’t truely know Jaden at the time. But know he does. Jaden loves his hero cards, has used them for years. He and aster should have been best friends for the get go. Heck if aster had played his cards right Jaden and him would have made one heck of a tag team in the pro leagues since their decks play so well off each other.

And now with the added knowledge that Jaden is Yugi Muto and Seto Kaiba’s son!!! Do you know how popular they would have been as a duo. Or just as friendly rivals. And while that’s what he and Jaden know are, friends, he has forever damaged his friend’s public image. Sure Jaden forgives him but Aster was already being eaten alive by the guilt. He thought Jaden didn’t realize the severity of what he’d done.

But Jaden is the prince of duels he knows exactly how bad what Aster did was, and he still forgave him. Aster’s spiraling and oh look there’s and angry Seto Kaiba glaring down on them.

This could get funnier though if this is the start of summer break.

Jaden has no clue this meeting is happening and goes to surprise his Oto-san, maybe go out for lunch or drag him down to the duel arena. He just wants to spend time with his Oto-san and the family is all for Jaden dragging Seto away from work. He bust into the office taking off his hat and sunglasses as he does so. “Hey Oto-san do you-”

Aster whips around to stare at Jaden Yu-Muto. Jaden Muto. In the eyes. And Jaden is so shocked because he still doesn’t want anyone to know who he is. (And why do his friends keep showing up at Kaiba Corp in the summer! First Chumley and now Aster!!! Who’s next Chazz???)

The two boys stare at each other for a long moment. Seto trying reign the meeting back in. “So you can see why I’m quite upset”

Jaden is not listening to his Soto-san right now “please don’t tell anyone!” He screeches

At the same time Aster yells “why haven’t you told anyone!” Which fair half of their problems last year would have been problems if the school knew who Jaden was. (The whole plot to destroy the Slifer Dorms)

It’s a lot of chaos but eventually Aster understands why Jaden wants to keep this a secret (it totally makes sense) and he swears not to tell anyone. He still has to sit through Seto and his team reading them the riot act over what they have done to Jaden’s future career and steps that they WILL take to fix it.

In the end though Jaden drags him down to their state of the art dueling arena and Aster gets to duel against his friend. And he thinks that’s it. It’s just going to be the two of them ducking it out. But when the finish Jaden asked to duel his Oto-san and Aster gets to watch the Prince duel against Seto Kaiba. And while that happening Yugi, Atem, and Joey show up and now he’s getting the opportunity to duel people who are in the premier league, which is higher then the pro and he thought it would be years before he got to duel any of them and yet here they are ruffling Jaden hair and dueling for fun.

I might have to change the timeline of my au to make this cannon. This is why I love asks.

[thatuselesshuman]

Friday Kiss Tag

Pov: me explaining how I'm going to do the Friday kiss tag without having a single kiss to ever share

Anyways, thank you for the tag @wyked-ao3 @agirlandherquill @sableglass and @the-golden-comet

This week, I shall write how I imagine the first kiss between Five and Zero would go. This isn't a part of canon, since I'm writing it specifically for this, but I hope you still enjoy my attempt at writing anything past a hug (I've never written a proper kiss in my life)

Slight warning for a bit of steam under the cut. Nothing too bad, Five's just thirsty

The two sat on Zero's bed, Five leaning against Zero's chest while Zero played with a hand-held puzzle that looked as old as he was. “How old is that puzzle? It looks like it predates the Selim Empire,” Five asked, miming coughing from the non-existent dust. Zero didn't answer for a minute, finishing whatever step he was on before responding. “That's because it does,” He said wryly. “You forget that I built the Selim Empire.” Five grumbled at that, a faint mumbled ‘old man’ among the grumbling. Zero ignored him, continuing to play with the puzzle.

They sat for a few more minutes in comfortable silence before Five started to get agitated. “This is boringggg,” he complained. “We should do something more exciting.” Zero paused what he was doing and looked down at Five, more for Five's benefit than his, since he couldn't truly see. “And what do you suggest we do that's more ‘exciting’?” Zero asked, a hint of amusement in his voice, while Five reached up to take his mask off. Five thought Zero was plenty hot with the mask on, him having the mysterious vibe going on, but without the mask? Five couldn't be trusted.

“Hmmm, I do have an idea,” Five said mischievously, sitting up so he was face to face with Zero. Zero raised an eyebrow, but didn't move away. Instead, he set aside his puzzle. Five sat back on his legs, his hands going to Zero's waist. “I think you should kiss me,” Five said confidently. Zero seemed even more intrigued than before. “And why is this coming about?” Zero asked, leaning in closer to bridge the distance that Five had put between them when he sat back. “Because,” Five said primly. “We've had this thing going on for a few months and you have yet to kiss me. It's rude to leave a guy hanging like that, you know.”

Zero simply shrugged at that. “You never asked,” He said by way of explanation. Five rolled his eyes, not designing that with a response, and instead just closed the gap between them and sealed their lips together. Both of their eyes immediately fell closed. The kiss was nothing special, an experimental peck on the lips, but both of them seemed almost shocked when they pulled back. Zero was the first to school his expression, it turning into a taunting grin. “Is that the best you can do? Weren't you an infamous player?”

Five scowled and took it as a challenge. He surged to meet Zero's lips, immediately more heat behind the kiss. Five's hand went up to grab Zero's jaw, tilting it up to meet his so he could have a better angle. Zero pressed further into Five's space, but the angle was awkward. After a little bit, Five pulled away again. He didn't give Zero time to comment again before he was swinging his leg over Zero's legs and sliding into his lap, now properly above him. Faint blush dusted Zero's face and ears, which Five had the sudden urge to make worse.

Five stared down at Zero, running a thumb over his jaw. Apparently, he sat there just staring for a while, since Zero began to become agitated. “Don't just stare,” Zero said with furrowed brows. Five grinned, taking the demand for the win it was. “Just because you're a bitter blind old man doesn't mean I have to be. I want to be the fun old man, the one who drags your ass out to parties,” Five declared happily, leaning in so that their faces were mere inches apart. Five could feel the slight, uneven breath from Zero dusting his face. Saints the things he would do to this man.

Zero made a noise of discontentment. “Yeah well how about you be the old man who gets moving, hm?” Zero teased, hands going to Five's waist. Five scoffed. “Do I have to do everything around here? Lazy ass,” He complained before swooping down to kiss Zero again. Zero pressed their chests together, getting rid of any molecule of space between them. Five grinned into the kiss, pleased with the outcome of his suggestion. It was infinitely more exciting than that damn puzzle.

@moltenwrites @willtheweaver @illarian-rambling @katenewmanwrites @drchenquill +open tag

[goldeneyedgirl]

TwiFicmas23 Day 7: Hybrid Jasper

Good evening! Tonight, we have something experimental. I was trying to put together a one-shot that focused on Jasper as a hybrid because I'm equal-opportunity with my nonsense.

It's still in parts, and I'm not sure that I've captured the vibes that I'm aiming for, but we persevere. I kind of love the idea of Jasper being the vulnerable one and Alice being the protective one and wanted to riff on that concept. Some of the 'rules' and world-building are a little iffy at the moment, but first drafts always need a little work.

Thank you to everyone who has read, liked, tagged, and messaged me. Those tags and messages absolutely make my day and I love every single one of them.

I'm off to sleep off this cold, in the hopes that I can recover fast enough to finish off a couple of planned entires <3

on the edge of dawn.

His past is knotted up in secrets and lies. 

And blood, he can’t forget that. 

(It starts and ends in rivers of blood, in so many lives worth of blood, that it would be disingenuous not to acknowledge it.) 

When he meets the eyes of the recruitment officer and tells him that he’s of-age, he’s not lying. He’s been a grown-ass man for a decade now; just because he’s sixteen in human terms is meaningless. He is more than capable of fighting a war. 

(He fights to protect the people that raised him, the cousins who were really his little sisters. He goes to war to make sure that he can send money home, enough to keep them fed and warm and safe. He doesn’t need much, and it’s nothing compared to what they gave him.) 

When he runs afoul of Maria, he expects it to be his death. One that is surprisingly appropriate considering his own origins. Instead, it is a fever that cooks him from the inside out, one that he stays lucid throughout, begging for answers, to explain what is happening for water, to know what has become of his poor horse. He sees a lot of people, strange people, that feel like they are all wrong but he doesn’t know why. 

He thinks of his little sisters, and hopes that they’ll be okay. He saved a lot of his pay, sent it home, so maybe they will. Maybe they won’t go hungry or get sick.

Maria is exceptionally intrigued by him. This man who doesn’t die, who rambles at her, begs her. And even when the fever ebbs, his eyes are still a piercing hazel. He still bleeds and sleeps and breathes. But he feeds on blood, he can move at least as fast as the slowest newborn, and has a gift that he almost effortlessly weaponising. 

He is a marvel, a miracle, a prize. 

So she keeps him, and Jasper is mostly reminded of stories about hell from the Bible. 

(He can never go home again.) 

—

Her visions have shown him since she awoke, but he’s always been very strange in them - like he’s made of smoke and memory, faded and halfway gone. She doesn’t understand it, and it scares her - that very first vision, where he tucks a flower behind her ear and says her name - is her north star, and her touchstone. She doesn’t know who she is without him, and the idea that he could disappear terrifies her to the bone. No one else does that in her visions, and she can’t work it out. 

Then she realises his eyes are hazel. Somehow she missed that little detail as she watched him fight and feed and rule Mexico in Maria’s name. They are such a beautiful shade, impossible for a vampire. 

And then she sees him sleeping, and it terrifies her that he is so vulnerable and unguarded in such a terrible place. She feels sick at it. 

He’s still an enigma, she still has questions, but it’s a clue. It’s something. It helps her shape and frame their future in her mind, knowing that he is not entirely the same as her. 

It makes her feel useful, and that’s a nice feeling. 

—

He remembers his mother a little too well. She had sharp hazel eyes and hair so light it was almost white. She’s already dead by then, washed out and still, and it’s a single frame in his memory. Something he should never be able to remember. But he does. 

(Jasper remembers her best when faced with the bodies. The ones who were taken as a meal, and the ones that don’t survive the change. Bloodless and broken in every way that counts. Her face is always clearest in his mind as he gathers up those dead people, and maybe he remembers his upbringing and says a quick prayer for them. But it doesn’t take long for those prayers to be meaningless mutterings under his breath, part of the routine without any of the meaning.) 

Sometimes he wonders what would have become of him in another life, with his mother perfectly dead. His grandmother had no love for him, not in those earliest days; a pious woman, she would have cast him out young if it hadn’t been for his mother’s brother. 

For a long time, he’s raised by his Uncle Jed. Jed looks at him and seems to see past all the things that shouldn’t be and the things that make him strange, right down to the lost boy he is. 

Jed gives him the family name - Whitlock - and puts him to work on the ranch. It’s a good life, and he likes working with animals, likes that the things that make him different make him useful on the ranch. He likes that he never has to see the old bitch of a grandmother that never let Jasper forget that he was the reason his momma was dead. 

(His momma named him. She picked the name out herself and started embroidering it on a blanket because she became too ill. That’s something he tucks in the back of his mind, that possibility that maybe she didn’t hate him, maybe she even loved him.)

Then Jed meets Gracie Wainwright and Jasper is terrified that he’ll have to leave; that being reclusive and unseen is the only way he can stay there, outside San Antonio. Jed doesn’t even let him go to church except at Christmas; for Jasper to grown up, he must be invisible and it’s the one family law they all obey. 

Except… Aunt Grace is his greatest champion, the mother he never had before. She is quick to teach him, bringing him books and teaching him his sums, how to sew on a button and darn a sock, and cook a hot meal - “Everyone needs to know these things Jasper, no matter where you go in life.”

And then there are the girls, he beloved cousin-sisters who climb over him and cling to him and are nothing but laughter and soft, kind things. Jed and Grace produce five of them, one after the other, all golden-eyed and blue-eyed and his favourite people in the world. Girls he would die for. 

So he does. He goes and signs up for the army because he’s been grown for years, because he’s faster and stronger and doesn’t need food or water. Disease never seems to touch him, and there’s little-to-no chance that they won’t have to leave the ranch. They’ll need to eat and travel, and his stipend will help with that. It’s the least he can do. 

(In her letters, Aunt Grace worries about him incessantly, tells him that Little Emma wanders around calling for him, not understanding that he’s not coming home any time soon; that his stipend has been useful in keeping them fed and well. Jed writes him and scolds him for running off and for sending them his money, but always ends his letters speaking of his pride in Jasper, and wishes to come home safely. Jasper’s always felt guilty he never made it back.)

Maria is oddly fascinated by the concept of his family, by how dearly he holds them, and how he still remembers them, still adores them. Vampire memories are supposed to decay; it’s considered a rebirth for a reason. He doesn’t know why his memories stay so vivid, but he treasures them. In the end, it’s easier and safer to stop mentioning them, to pretend the memories are starting to decay, so that Maria stops interrogating him, so that she thinks he’s finally behaving how he should. 

//

The first time Alice sees Jasper bleed, she nearly screams. It trickles into his eyes and he swears, and she’s frozen in a vision that she cannot escape from. He swipes it off his forehead and sucks on his fingers a moment to swipe over the shallow wound. 

And it’s sealed. Does he have a healing gift?

She doesn’t know. 

But the visions start showing her the things that are to come. The Cullens are still a possibility, but Jasper will be more skittish about joining them, about letting others know about what he is. About having to live with more vampires after South. He’s terrified of Carlisle on so many levels, and the idea of school goes against everything his uncle taught him. 

But she’s gratified that he seems happy when they’re together. That he sees something in her, the lost girl, that maybe he recognises. 

I love you Jasper, and I know that we’re going to be so happy together.

And she does. She loves that he can walk in the sunlight without notice, but he still hates doing it. She loves that he has no special talent for languages, but has still managed to learn Spanish and French fluently. That he’s never learnt to dance, but he’ll dance with her. That at some point she’s going to try to cook for him, and it’ll be a messy disaster and he’ll just laugh until there are tears in his eyes and tell her that he loves her for trying. 

Sometimes she wishes that she could share visions, pass them from her head to another’s because she wants to be able to save all of this for him, to show him that everything is going to be okay. Better than okay; perfect. 

//

Peter is a blessing in disguise. At first, he’s only there to make trouble, only there to test the boundaries and question authority. He hears Jasper’s sluggish heart, sees the way Maria watches over him, and decides that Jasper is the weak link, and he just needs to exert the right amount of pressure to break him. 

It goes about as well as expected, and something about the fact that Jasper is the one that returns Peter’s arm instead of throwing it on the pyre cements something between them. Loyalty, understanding, and a sense of fairness. 

Friendship and brotherhood comes in time. But that evening, as Jasper realigns the joint and explains to Peter that Maria has tried to rip off Jasper’s arm before but the joints are weird because he was already venomous before being bitten, that it didn’t work. Did fuck up his shoulder for a while though. 

Peter is fascinated. That he can be cut and bruised and broken, but they can’t do something as simple as tear him into pieces. That Jasper takes days to heal, and on the long sunny days they stay inside for, Jasper sleeps.

//

She finds him in Philadelphia and, oh, her heart breaks. In her well-loved dress and too-big shoes with the creases deep across the toes, she looks like a real lady compared to him. 

He’s outside in the alley, trying to convince himself to go inside. She’s seen it happen both ways, and that’s why she was late. To make sure that either way, he’s going to find her. She refuses to risk it any other way.

In the flesh, he’s a lot further gone than she expected. Enough that she discards her coat and her shoes as she enters the alley, moving quietly towards him. He’s so thin, and his hair is a tangled mess around his face, and he bares more than one bruise. His clothes are woeful, filthy and too thin for the cool weather. He’s not going to survive another winter like this. 

“Hello,” she says, and when he looks at her, his eyes almost pass as hazel, with the ring of fading red around the pupil. But he also looks hunted and haunted, like an animal backed into a corner. “I’ve been looking for you.”

She smiles at him, and he stares back for a moment before he relaxes a little. “I didn’t realise I had an appointment,” he manages, his voice cracking with disuse. He lets her get a little closer, looking at her bare feet, her green dress that has seen better days, the less-than-clean gloves, and the ribbon in her hair. Oh, and her purse. 

“That’s okay, because I’m here now,” she decides to brazen it out, and goes closer to sit beside him except he stops her.

“You’ll spoil your clothing,” he says, getting to his feet and he’s so very tall. He has to look down at her, and she feels very delicate and precious as he does so. 

“I have a lot of clothing to spoil,” she says honestly, and he still looks uncomfortable. “I’m Alice.”

“Hello Miss Alice.” He sounds uncertain but for her, it’s the most beautiful sound because it’s the very first time that she’s ever heard him speak her name out loud. 

—

[simmonsized]

Idk about other people but I’m always a slut for that old man and I think you got amazing taste so pls rec anything you like anywhere

I think you will find that my taste is actually kind of garbage but like, in a fun way that makes you go "wow really???" rather than being so embarrassed for me that you can never look at me again. of course that would be fine too haha you know, don't yuck my yum etc but I will try to put together my unfuckable old man rec list right here, right now, and we can all just live with that

(mostly because titling a post makes me cringe it's too much attention, and I'm a stereotype)

These come from a section of my actual Fic Rec List, which is massive (by my standards), lives in a googly doc, and is much more embarrassing. this list generally won't include any ship stuff and if it does, i will say so. mind any and all tags.

This section is titled: The Redemption Narrative (lol)

1. Empty Nester - egomaniac (THE WHOLE REASON I MADE A NEW LIST. BRO AND NANNA!!!!!!!!!!!! also bro/grandpa, aka “he fucks that old man”, but not the most important part to me, because as good and tragic and hurtful as their relationship is in this fic, it is dwarfed, to me, by the kindness shared between Nanna and Bro, which once again, to me, is the Crown Jewel of the whole story. PLEASE read this please if u have time A++ endorsement)

2. dualshock desertbloom (the whole fucking series. i hardly need to say why, you should just know by now. i call dd dirkfic, because it is The Dirkfic, u know??)- geometrician (🔶)

3. sun’s angle - dellaluce (they can orphan it all they want but i never forget. very old, but never GETS old, u feel)

4. Hexadyne Meetings - Saesama (the rarity of bro and nanna fics could absolutely destroy me but i really like the interactions between all of the guardians in this one)

5. Flop, Flutter - cthchewy (technicality, big nasty soulless bro yikes sorry)

6. The Estrangement Thing - NoBrandHero (there’s a theme here listen to me don’t be doubtful it’s worth the trouble, there is brojohn in there, which is not my thing at all, but it is NOT relevant to what i like about this fic, and i think if u read it, u will realize that immediately lol (*i am not including second best even though that fic is literally my favorite ds fic ever because it is NOT bro centric))

7. cold front off the pacific - drow_sy (i actually read this bc geometrician bookmarked it lol but it punches down on u and i like that)

8. insect clockwork - SORD (aka, if it was written pre-2013, i’ve read it)

9. Flashing Lights and Raisins - RadioMoth (the strider manpain tag exists for a reason)

10. Hide - Plajus (OG post-sburb type shit. we love to see it)

11. Blackout - lantadyme (bro strider sick fic. Wrow. old shit. I don’t even know how i have held onto these for this many years.)

Things that don't quite fit into the category necessarily but It's MY List Not Yours:

12. signs at sundown - geometrician (I don't need to say it, do I? I think we understand, I do think that. Imagine being canon together with you favorite author. Imagine it. Wow.)

13. No Homo - Laurasauras (bro/dennis. yes, dennis from gamebro. yes, it's good i've said it before i'll say it again. i'm into it, i think you should be too.)

14. flash - problemsloth (this shit is just. absolute chef's kiss to me. i don't know how else to explain it. young bro. he's perfect, and perfectly dreadful)

15. play ball! - spacepuck (this is a johndave fic but it has this very stressful atmosphere around bro and dave that kinda fucks me up and also, delights me beyond reason. it tastes like summer to me. sandlot lookin ass. an old favorite)

[tarmac-rat]

WIP W/E but we're doing Sunday today

I've got a tag backlog of like 5 of these lmao so @ghostoffuturespast thank you for tagging me and waiting like 3 months before I had time lol 💜

Extra long one because hell I haven't shared anything in like 3 months and I wanted to assure everyone that I am in fact not dead.

From Rain in the Desert chapter 18. Mikoshi Chapter. Top 10 Conversations Held Right Before Disaster:

Whether she expected that to be met with laughter or annoyance, it hardly matters, because all Johnny gives her is one sagely nod. “Like I said, got all the time in the world now. Should think about what I told you last night, if you want a place to start, at least.” “Find my mom?” “Leave the city. Not just because you should and you’re too stubborn to see it yet— lotta heat’s gonna fall on you once this is all over. They’ll swarm your apartment, knock on some of your friends’ doors and give ‘em a shakedown, all the works. Sometimes, the best way to keep the people who care about you safe is to smash your holo with a hammer and fuck off into the desert for a couple years.” “Even without you in my head, I’m still finding ways to run through all your greatest hits.” “Say it like that’s a bad thing.” “No comment. And you, though? You come up with a plan yet?”

“Workin’ on it. Think it over for a bit, weigh some pros and cons, see if I like what I come up with. I'll burn that bridge when I get there.” “Just be careful.” “Always am, kid, but thanks for the pep talk.” “Will I ever see you again?” The words slip from her without thought. It’s like the one she asked on that overlook behind Westbrook, or in that booth inside the Afterlife, or shin-deep in the waves of the Pacific. A question born of pure, pathetic desperation— of a need for him to verify something in herself that she can’t even begin to explain. Because when the wall between them came crumbling down, there was no going back, all of her awful thoughts became his and all of his terrible dreams became hers. But now it’s been built back up and she’s left pounding on the bricks, screaming out for an answer that will never ever come. It doesn’t have to be loud, or resolute, or even honest. If she can just hear his voice join her own through all the miles between them, then could be she can find it in herself to live with that. Just something, a single word. Anything to prove that she isn’t on her own in this. But rather than give her that, the corners of Johnny’s mouth slowly draw up into a toothy smile. “Is that fondness I hear in your voice, princess?” he teases. It’s right around there V learns that code can, in no uncertain terms, flush, “Shut up.” “Sayin’ you’re actually gonna miss havin’ my shitty little thoughts ringin’ ‘round up in your head?”  “Shut up. Johnny.” The look he throws her at that almost makes V wish that Alt would come back and Soulkill her all over again, “Always thought you wore sentimentality like a pair of shackles and a straitjacket, but this is somethin’ else. You mean I might actually see you shed a few tears when Alt starts cartin’ me off?” “Jesus, forget I said anything. Ask a genuine question and I end up getting grilled for it like I’m on some shitty daytime talk show,” V grits out, hand against her brow in an effort to shield her burning face, “Wanna toss jokes about me being ‘sentimental’, y’know, but here you are not even taking a lick of this seriously when I’m trying to be on the level. You want to know what you’ll actually see when you go, Johnny? How about me flipping you one last bird for the road, since apparently your gonk ass can’t bear to not make light about this shit for five fucking minutes.” “...I’ll miss your shitty little thoughts too, if it means anythin’.” V glances up. Johnny hadn’t been looking at her anymore but as if sensing it return, his gaze does rise to tangle up in hers again. His body betrays nothing, almost; she doesn’t miss the way his fingers have curled in tight around his latest cigarette, metal knuckles rasping some discordant song against the tabletop. And maybe that’s the thing she’d forgotten about being human. That words are incoherent things, and so rarely do they mean what we want them to. Well, when you’re stuck there pounding on a wall, what better way to say that you’re not alone in this than to pound back? “This won’t be the end, though, right?” the chain around V’s neck tightens; she’s got the pendant and dog tags locked in a visegrip again, “I mean, if I manage to find my way back to the Blackwall again, maybe Alt can…I don’t know, carry a message over? Let me through from time to time?” Johnny’s smile is small, and restrained, and probably speaks to something they both know can never really be, but for a moment, maybe pretending that it could can somehow be enough; “We’ll work somethin’ out, princess.” 

If or when I have a new WIP to share, I'll probably do a WIP share tag then! But thank you again to everyone who's tagged me over the past couple of months!

[vsnotresponding]

Happy STS!!!!! *pours tea* *passes it to fwend* if your ocs were trapped in an escape room, what would happen?

also on a different but similar note have you seen the movie Escape Room 2017? (Also you should. The end!!!)

BECAUSE I am curious in a normal escape room what would they do and what would they do if the escape room wants to kill them, ya know?

(Please tell me what lyric would do. His dramatic ass I must know. but I want to know for everyone else too, especially my Pùlsar babies *squishes*)

*picks up tea* hi lyn!!!!!!

escape rooms my beloveds !!! i haven't seen Escape Room 2017 but I did watch a similar Murder Escape Room movie last year (don't remember which tho) (must be somewhere on my v watches tag on my main)

okay so. it all depends on the teams that go into the escape room (and also the type of escape room)

for your average no gimmick escape room we have:

the creators (Hamza, Ira and Níniam)

they are the perfect team, if I say so myself.

Hamza's very good at logic puzzles and at remaining calm under stressful situations, and knows pretty well what the other two excel at, so he's in charge of distributing tasks. Ira has the knows-how-to-pick-locks factor. stuck on a puzzle? say no more, a good hit at the perfect point and it's solved (not that Hamza lets her do that, but she does still when he's too absorbed in a puzzle). she has no patience for puzzles so she usually passes information from Níniam to Hamza, and looks for clues all around (her espacial awareness is very good). and then Níniam just knows unconventional facts. "that's a modern encryption method you need to take the number modulus that other clue we found and then—" stuff like that. he's also dexterous so he does well with physical puzzles

they aren't amazing at them but manage to get out before running out of time (and without fighting or drama)

púlsar crew (plus sher and sahare)

it's all emhi's and garvan's fault. they get along well with each other but sometimes they get stupid competitive about the dumbest things, in this case: escape rooms. every couple of months or so they force invite their friends to an escape room race and, well, race

when picking the teams the most solicited team members are sher (good with puzzles and logic) and sahare (good with physical puzzles and figuring out how locks or mechanisms work). áine's just okay, and karma and ira... well. ira i've already said isn't great at them, and karma's good at his niche and that's it (and the time constraint stresses him out too much

emhi and garvan are good too. emhi's specially good at distributing tasks, communication, and figuring out steps, and garvan is very observant so he notices clues and comes quickly into solutions.

after garvan has had a solid winning streak no matter what team emhi choses, she decides to go for an unconventional plan. she picks second because garvan won last, and instead of getting sahare where garvan got sher, she picks ira. and then, when garvan picks sahare, she picks karma (everyone's very confused, ira and karma most of all because they know they are there just to have the numbers)

and then once they are inside, emhi explains the plan:

"Remember what I told you last time?"

"No brute forcing myself out of puzzles?"

"Yeah. Forget I ever said that. Go wild. Just, don't break anything please."

Karma's still confused about where does he fit in all of this. Emhi notices.

"Áine wouldn't have let me cheat."

In the end they do win, mainly because the escape room was Evil Scientist Coded and Karma didn't need to figure out some initial puzzles to get the key to read DNA sequences or chemical compounds. also Ira picked some locks but that's between her and Emhi (the personnel was too distracted by Karma just flying through difficult puzzles to notice).

p:n crew

they are a menace, your honor (i mean. their job in the story IS the equivalent of solving escape rooms). they solve escape rooms competitively. if they don't get out by half time it's just like not getting out at all. they have run out of places that are challenging enough to go to around where they live and take instead vacations with the sole objective of doing escape rooms

they have perfect team synergy, they are all equally good at puzzles and ciphers and are just big enough nerds to know how to solve anything you throw at them. and fast

they also have Perfect Photographic Memory Enzo and Knows Unconventional Languages Sirio (morse, sign language in a variety of languages, braille, dead languages, you name it). Most of the time they can jump directly into solving the second half of an escape room because of this.

up squad

akira enjoys escape rooms, hannah likes the challenge. ely and lyric are there for support and to make up numbers (at least ely is competent at them)

lyric is not. lyric is dragged there kicking and screaming against his will (not really, he knows akira enjoys them so he's just being dramatic). he's the errant boy most of the time, carrying messages or stuff or "hey yric remember this sequence of numbers, okay?". he is valuable when chess is involved (he learnt and got good enough so akira could play with someone)

ely often comes in clutch when it comes to riddles. they have either heard it before, or they just have the intuition to think outside the box for them.

and then hannah just sometimes guesses the combination for locks (? she get's a vibe and just Knows

Escape Rooms that are out to Get You

most would just die why lie

if the p:n crew were the p:n canon crew then they would be the most likely to escape. if we are going for modern au they have lived normal lives they are doomed, but would get the furthest (they would probably not notice it's a killer escape room because they would not run out of time to solve stuff to get to the point where people start to get eliminated)

púlsar crew.

emhi and garvan are fit enough to be able to escape from traps (and they would also eventually fail), but everyone else is not. with the exception of ira because her survival instinct sometimes just kicks in and she'll drag herself out to safety if it's the last thing she does. bonus points if níniam is there, he's getting out of there whatever happens. even if she's forced to kill someone else (even herself) níniam survives. also, karma would die first i have no doubt

up squad.

lyric gets the furthest by pure physical advantage. once you don't need to take care not to break a puzzle he'll just tear it apart. he still wouldn't get to the end because as soon as he encounters a puzzle he can't get out by ripping out the walls or something, he's done for

so yeah.

bonus answer for horror themed escape rooms

everything stays mostly the same, BUT

ely, níniam, ira and, surprisingly, karma are just immune to the horror elements. they will put their hand into a dark hole and walk down a hallway towards a banging door with no fear in their hearts. ely because they are just like that even irl, níniam loves horror and is just having fun, ira because she has bravado to spare (garvan tries and fails at this). and karma actually manages to not get immersed into the setting (which is harder than you might think. i've gone to a fair amount of horror escape rooms and even if you know it's not real and that it's a control setting and that they are actors and props and that nothing's out to hurt you, you still get scared as fuck and argue with your team mates to see who will be the sacrificial lamb brave soul)

p:n crew get slowed down because they do get scared (enzo most of all)

sirio, garvan, lyric, hannah and sahare go into the dark. they are internally shitting themselves but someone has to. sirio and lyric are drama kings about it, garvan tries to be stoic, and hannah and sahare manage to (with many scared jumps and flinches at the barest of sounds, but they manage)

emhi, sher, p:n minus sirio, hamza, and akira leave the scary parts to the rest and work on the clues they get

sher and áine are specially handicapped by the horror element

[pepsiiwho]

Thank u for rb-ing the ask game. Here are 5000 asks: ♥️, 🎁 , 👓, 💕, 🍬, and 💌. These are just for you to keep: 💖💓💓♥️💞💕💘💞💘💗❤️💘💘♥️💖💓💖❤️💖💞💓💞💖💗

So many things here should I even answer this in one big thing....

This one is getting it's own post I have too much to say for it but the short answer is "[sound here] sounded like rocks hitting a wall" if you actually read my work you should know this one it's my calling card at this point.

It gets long after this sorry guys

2. This one isn't anything you'd like, a shame I just sent it to you but here's a little piece of the most recent WIP I have as of (checks watch) 3 hours ago. BG3 WIP Title pending.

The woman walks out with her tail between her legs, literally, and Alabaster watches the door close soundlessly behind her as if commanded. The silence between them sits for a moment a second or two before Alabaster speaks. “She's pretty. You might have a type though.”  “What are you doing here?” She didn’t think a sleep-ruffled Astarion would be the one she’d be interacting with when she decided to pay a visit today, but the sight is pleasing all the same. His hair is as white as it’s ever been, only a touch longer. She isn’t sure if actual vampires are capable of being surprised (something something the alertness of darkness or something) but the expression on Asraion’s face was what she would coin as ‘your lover coming home to see you with your mistress' . “You missed me?” He asks. It doesn’t come out like a question, as breathy as it sounds.  “I missed you” She responds. She rolls her shoulders, getting ready for the dance that is talking to Astarion. “I also need your help.”  “You came back because you need me?” There's a sharp smile slowly making it’s way onto his face, laughlines bending to build the expression. He’s sitting up, moving to reach her height. She nods, pulling at the tightly wound strings in his chest, plucking absently.  “I need you.” She responds. Talking to him feels like playing an instrument you haven't touched in a long time, slowly allowing muscle memory to take over so the music can once again be moved by your masterful hands. He smiles full now, as if realizing something she doesn’t know, and she’s reminded that you never really forget how to tune an instrument.

3. What helps me focus when I write... booty shaking music for throwing ass OR hating whatever is happening around me. no in-between.

4. This is a really hard question because if we mean like, emotionally? I could cop out and give a three way tie between Complimentary Soap (it isn't good I'm just nostalgic), Nintendo Direct (Circa June 2021) (it is good and I'm nostalgic) and Like A Brick In The Wall (good and new but god it's chaptered.) But, right now I'm gonna say my most recent fic I posted Going Home; All Over Again. I really love it even tho no one will ever read it (save you). The curse of rare pairs.

5. Okay another long one let's go. I'm only counting things with multiple pics posted...

HADES -

I Missed You Terribly And Like A Dream— You Appeared, Smiling At Me, Just So

Most of my stuff from here isn't good anymore, and while there's another that's more self indulgent and scratches the itch inside my body that aches dully for more Hypnos content at all times, this one reads the best rn. So it win.

HAIKYUU-

Tequilas, Margaritas and Seawater

everything in this fandom is old and arguably bad so nostalgia points carry weight here. This. one was a gift and idk why but it reads amazingly. holds up still

FE3H -

Like A Brick In The Wall

All fe fics are the DEVIL because of any in this list I CARE about these the most no competition. Anyway. This fic didn't win the previous bracket of my fav fic ever but it is my fav in the tag. Don't ask me to explain. I'm sorry.

CSM -

I Squint Out My Peripheral, Peaking Through My Fingers To See You

I don't work here man... I hate this goddamn pic its so good.

DRV3-

Nintendo Direct (Circa June 2021)

She's gonna do it every time... V3 hospital au I lOVE you.

(Listing out my written fandoms like this is the saddest thing ever my GOD I'm cringey)

6. I feel like the tropes I love most I never write myself... it's honestly kinda fandom specific but across the board...? Royalty au. not regency but kinda. A little to the left.

[joviantwelve]

Could you elaborate a bit on what "jojo logic" means in the context of DawnMet?

Assuming I should explain, JJBA has a very...distinct way of plotting that's hard to describe without seeing it for yourself. Creatively, I am pretty opposite Araki, with how he seems to "forget" things, seemingly changes things mid-story, or just invents new things on the fly. Characters will also launch into incredibly informed monologues that specifically pinpoint the physics puzzles that Stand abilities so often are, when realistically, I'm not sure any sane person would be able to guess it. You can look up "Jojo physics" or "Araki forgot" for some examples. I'm pretty sure "Jojo logic" itself is a search term that will bring results!

I found this article about JJBA that actually hilariously demonstrates what I mean--they're not "lucky" moments, they're "Araki gave no shits" moments. However, throughout the series, I get the impression he thinks these twists and turns are very Cool; I don't think he'd consider them "ass pulls." I deeply respect this man's level of sincerity, even if his plotting goes against most things I know.

I guess you could say, the writing style is very…bizarre?

As a GM, I have to fight my editorial instincts to correct, deny, or fact check things, just because it feels more "Jojo" to leave it making 0 real-world sense. City of Mist's "power tag" system helps emulate these leaps of logic. Players have a list of abilities (both supernatural and mundane) they've assigned themselves, and can apply them as bonuses to rolls. Thus, for a higher chance of success, players have to invent how their hyper-specialized talents manifest in what are otherwise typical TTRPG moves, and I, the GM, have to figure out what the consequences could be.

Previously, I went into how I reinterpreted CoM's character progression in a "the author forgot/changed their mind" way, since Jojo generally doesn't have huge character arcs. I also let players change their tags anytime, if they feel like they're not getting use out of them. I don't really like calling these "retcons"; just like the source material, sometimes a character is simply Different after a point, and no one bats an eye.

I think, in some ways, embracing inconsistency and rolling along with player ideas is helping me learn to GM in general. JJBA has no limitations, so maybe I shouldn't, either.

[robo-mox-motley]

[Video ID: Gorg, a tall blue mech, runs forward brandishing the blunt grip end of his tank gun. He lifts the whole long gun upwards by the barrel before striking down on the top of a tank. The original sound of the tank being hit is replaced with a coconut bonk stock sound. End ID.]

Always Gorgin' time at Mox(ter)'s

Mox(ter) reporting. Firm believer that Pink Lady apples are superior to Honeycrisp. These are some things you might want to know. Or not, your choice ┐⁠(⁠´⁠ー⁠｀⁠)⁠┌

Things that keep me up at night:

The camaraderie of the Autobots in Armada.

This loser

How some versions of Ironfist are supposed to sound Aussie. Try rereading Last Stand of the Wreckers like that.

Tokyo Ska dropping a new song.

Trying to make up transforming figures in my head that don't exist for certain characters and getting annoyed the next morning. Only thing stopping me is lack of access to a resin printer.

I am Mox/Moxter and have been a bot nerd since I was an anklebiter. Mostly gung-ho about other stuff like practical effects, costuming, figures/models, 3D modelling, old tech, lizards, and birding. I do art a little too, but I’m not too fond of the idea of putting it out on here quite yet.

Couple years of Spanish under my belt but also picking up and learning bits of Japanese and Welsh when I can. Considering others like Yoruba and Korean for in the future, but sadly I suck sometimes and can be a slow learner. Someday, I guess. I apologize beforehand if you see my dumb ass getting long-winded about Tailgate (full reason being too long to explain here).

I’m generally invested into anything related to toy design—mostly TakaraTomy, HasTak, and Sunrise bot stuff is my focus though. I am hooked on the design development surrounding Binaltech and Alternators for better or worse.

And wouldn't you know, a bunch of car robots helped me to realize what I should re-prioritize my career track to be. That's the power of my dumb interests at work ( ��̀ .̫ •́ )✧.

Got tired of updating which music artists I like at the moment, but I tend to stick to ELO, Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra, hip hop, rock, metal, J-punk, ska, funk, and EDM. Q-Tip and A Tribe Called Quest are great too. I don’t mind getting music recs.

Delighted owner to my little shit of a gecko. A lot of what I reblog is aesthetic posts, robotic nonsense, and other things. If you want to go ahead and block some of my tags, I’ve got a list of them linked in my pinned post. I try to put alt text in the majority of images I upload. May need a poke on that though once in a while because I can’t remember everything.

Sometimes there's 18+ content though that's once in a blue moon and it gets tagged. Block the tag if you need to. Also be normal about bi and pan people, or I'm conking you on the head.

Please do not ask me my pronouns. Like sorry, but I don’t know you. Just use my name and no they/them-ing me if we aren't all too familiar. That's all I ask.

Don’t be stupidly obnoxious around here; shit-stirrers get Gorg'd:

Things I like or have watched/read. Not exhaustive. Strong favorites are bolded.

Games

Bomb Rush Cyberfunk

Destiny (Well, it was good up until every update following Witch Queen)

Fallout 1, NV, 4

Guilty Gear ΛC+, Strive

Halo

Lethal League Blaze

Mass Effect

Rhythm Heaven

Subnautica

Titanfall

Comic Stuff

Astro Boy

Atomic Robo

Dai Dark

Dorohedoro

Hellboy/BPRD

IDW Transformers

Kaiju No. 8

Shimanami Tasogare

Shows

Brave series: Might Gaine, J-Decker

Farscape

FMA 2003

Giant Gorg

Lupin the III

Kamen Rider: Ichigo, Gaim, Zero-One

Stargate

Transformers: G1, JG1, BW, JBW, Unicron Trilogy, Prime, RID 2015, Cyberverse, Earthspark

My MAL profile (I forget to update it though)

Blocked and still rooting through here?

I applaud your tenacity, but I don't get it. Have a little cheer in your life and go watch Iron Leaguer or Kamen Rider or Beast Wars or something.

Signing out.

[sharuruwrites]

Your Answer (Pt.1)

Summary: Which of the following simple phrases that can change someone's life? Take a guess.

A.) I love you B.) You matter C.) I'm sorry

Timeline: Gojo - 26, Shion - 25

Tags: Can get very angsty at the start and near the end, Gojo (annoyingly/adoringly), Shion being a Tsundere, Fluff, Shoko being tired of her friends' oblivious acts,

Words: 4.1k+

A/n: HEEEYYYYY, I'm back from my unannounced 4 month hiatus. Don't worry, this author is fighting tooth and nail with writer's block on a daily basis. Anyways, it was supposed to be a Megumi-ish centered chapter but the author still hasn't grasped of his character that much to think what would he be like in his childhood with Shion around. Because of this said problem, I was duking out with writer's block, and school.

EDIT: I kept forgetting to upload this chapter since January because my stuff doesn't show up unless its morning.

Special thanks to zark or xerox-candybar for beta reading this chapter because as always, she did a wonderful job.

Disclaimer: I don't own JJK

Masterlist

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

---------------------------------

One morning, a lone special grade sorcerer, Shion Gojo, spent some time in the quiet halls of the school library. Shion had long forgotten the opened book in her hand along with the untouched tea she made earlier. Instead of reading, she focused on the cherry petals falling like light rain from the nearby window.

‘It’s been 10 years since I’ve met Satoru, huh?’ Shion thought.

“Are you by yourself?” 

Shion turned her attention towards the direction of the voice, and it was Shoko. Much to Shion’s surprise, the ever-present dark circles on the doctor’s face weren't there. If Shion wasn’t mistaken, the last time she saw Shoko without them was before she enrolled into med school. 

“Shouldn’t you be at the morgue around this time?” Shion asked, watching the latter take a seat across from her. 

“I should be,” Shoko grabbed an unlit cigarette from her inner pocket, using it to point at Shion. “But I chose not to.”

“Shoko, you- ow !”

Shoko pulled Shion’s cheek with her free hand before letting it go. “Relax, I’m responsible enough to keep on top of my medical reports, and I’m not gonna smoke.” Shoko pointed at the fire extinguisher, knowing Shion wouldn’t hesitate to use it on her. “Besides, Watanabe-sensei is covering for me, which means I actually get to take a break.”

“I forgot that he was here.” Shion rubbed her cheek to numb the pain. “I thought he was stationed permanently at Kyoto now?”

“That was supposed to be the deal since I got my license, but something changed. I don’t know much about the details other than he’s going to be here for two months.” Shoko shrugged. “Hey, as long as I get more sleep at night, I’m fine with whatever.” 

“That would explain the lack of eyebags on you.” Shion blurted, causing Shoko to pinch her friend’s cheeks again. 

“Anyways," Shoko let go of Shion’s cheek once more. "You seem to be missing Satoru after just a few days." 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Shion frowned slightly. “As you said, it’s only been five days since he left. He’ll be back from the mission in no time.”

“Then can you explain that ?” 

With her unlit cigarette, Shoko pointed at something next to Shion. Sitting next to her was a soft-looking white floppy long-eared floppy bunny, relaxing on a stack of books. 

Shion found it weird that the character was in fact a puppy, and not a rabbit. This information had caused a near-heated debate with one of the die-hard Sanrio fans at the same store. She could have sworn they're ready to kill her on the spot.

There’s nothing wrong with the said rabbit puppy plush toy. The signature black gakuran of JujuTech that the doll wore was a pain in the ass to hand stitch as she didn’t have a sewing machine. As for the blindfold, it was supposed to be white bandages, but she had leftover fabric from the uniform she made and-

Oh.

Shion shook her head in denial before turning her attention back to Shoko as the resident doctor awaited her explanation. “I still don’t see how this adorable toy correlates to me missing that long-lost member of three blind mice.”

“Gojo is right, you’re the walking definition of what ‘oblivious’ means.” Shoko lightly chuckled, seeing her friend’s face bloom into red. “However, that trait of yours is what makes two dumbasses pay special attention to you back in high school.”

Shion cleared her throat, seizing the opportunity to change the topic. “I assume you’re not here to reminisce about our high school days.” 

"Nope," Shoko replied. “ I just want to check on you. I’ve been thinking about that confession you made last year.”

"Why now?" Shion crossed her arms, suddenly guarded. 

“Time is considered to be a luxury for us, especially in this world.” Shoko paused for a second, carefully thinking about her next words as her index finger flicked the unlit cigarette. “Is it still the same? You’re still loving him because you think you have to?”

What had she said that night? Shion couldn’t remember, thanks to all that alcohol turning her mopey and shit, making her spill unspoken truths lies. The doctor didn’t have to take her confession so seriously; they were just drunken ramblings, and not meant to be accepted at face value. 

Did Shion love Gojo because–as she had said–she feels like she has to, because he deserves it? Or did she truly fall for him? 

She really wished that finding the answers for those questions would be easy, but it wasn’t. She blamed her lack of experience with love and romance. How was she supposed to know if she loved someone? It always seemed so simple in books--but despite her collection of romance novels, she had yet to truly understand it.

Some said that they knew they were in love with someone when they accepted their imperfections. They just learned to tolerate them.

Others said that that love was a gut feeling; something indescribable but recognizable as one grew older and wiser with experience. That definition certainly didn’t help at all. 

Gojo’s warmth…could she use that as her basis for understanding? Throughout the years she had known him, whenever he held her hand or hugged her, she felt safe and secure. As if he’s telling her everything would be alright.

No, it’s stupid to think that a mere touch could change everything she understood about herself. Maybe this love was purely platonic? After all, despite his hijinks, she respected him both as a person and as a sorcerer.

Shion fidgeted in her chair before placing her hand on her chest. “I do know the love I held for him is nothing more than admiration and respect. Afterall, I don’t deserve to be love and held in such-”

“Can you just stop for a sec there?” Shoko’s question interrupted Shion, the tone in her voice was laced with frustration. “Honestly, don’t you find it tiring to be so pathetic and weak-minded?”

Shoko took a deep breath, running her fingers through her hair before exhaling. 

“You know…” The doctor crossed her arms. “He can and will scorch anybody and anything that hurts you.”

The words made Shion feel time had significantly slowed. What Shoko is saying couldn’t be true, right? Of course it's not! The idea that Satoru Gojo would forsake his dreams and ideals for someone like her? That sounded like pure blasphemy. She wasn’t worth the trouble. 

And what if it were true? If anything, it would make her hate herself more than she already did. 

“That’s not true.” Shion shook her head frantically; a shaky breath was released next. “He just hasn't found a reason to end our marriage. A special someone…” 

“Really?” Shoko raised her brow, unwittingly mocking her friend. “Look me in the eye and say you’ll be fine if he falls in love with someone else.” 

Shion gulped down her nervousness, steeling her nerves as she held Shoko’s gaze. However, when she opened her mouth, nothing came out, and the long-awaited words lodged in her throat as her breathing became shallow.

Something crept into the special grade sorceress, and this ‘something’ was all too familiar to her: fear. The fear that everything she held dear would disappear from her grasp, all because she dared to acknowledge it. 

“How long will you still deny-”

“Shut up!” 

Shion’s raised voice cut through Shoko's question. 

The distressed woman hugged herself, digging her nails into her arms and shutting her eyes close. “I don’t want to hear any of it!” Shion said. “It’s not true! I don’t fucking deserve it! He deserved so much better!”

In a split second, the atmosphere became thick and heavy with tension. As Shion repeated those words like a mantra to herself, Shoko distracted herself with her own thoughts. 

To be honest, it was none of her business. Shoko didn’t even like to meddle in someone else’s affairs. However, after the stupidest choice that her friend made six years ago, Shoko decided to be neutral.

Yes, the higher-ups were a huge pain in her ass, but thinking about how to traverse through the messy and complex web of politics in the hidden world of Jujutsu was too much for her. She already had patients and cursed spirits to worry about. 

Thankfully, her role as a practitioner of reverse cursed technique saved her from the higher-ups breathing down her neck. And, to prevent future headaches or raise suspicion, she kept Gojo at arm's length. 

Call her selfish for being neutral, but isn’t everyone else? There’s no such thing as a selfless individual. Sometimes, a “random act of kindness” could be nothing more than an ego trip.

…so why was she sticking her nose into Shion’s marriage? 

Shoko would say this as many times as she needed to. It was tiring to watch Shion and Gojo’s whole charade: the two of them trying to be oblivious, denying themselves for their own sakes. 

Fuck, she needed a drink. She didn’t give a shit that it was still early afternoon. 

A constant buzzing of Shoko’s phone severed her line of thought. With her free hand, she picked up the call. 

“Hello? Yeah, I’ll be there in five.” Shoko shoved her phone back into her lab coat. “Watanabe called, and he needs me for something.” 

The sound of her friend’s voice broke Shion from her trance. Her head snapped back up, meeting Shoko’s unfazed expression. 

“Shoko, I’m-”

“Don’t apologize.” Shoko cut her off, getting up from her seat. “I pushed too hard when you’re clearly not ready to talk about it. I’ll make up to you the next time we meet.”

The clicking sounds of Shoko’s heels echoed throughout the library. With every step she made, the sound became fainter and fainter until silence had become Shion’s companion once more. She returned to stare at the seemingly endless shower of pink petals.

Somehow, the color had become dull and lifeless to her.

---------------------------------

Before she left the library with the plush toy, Shion got a call from Yaga to pay a quick visit to his office. She really hoped it’s not about the mysterious holes found in Tsukamoto’s brown fabric body. Plenty of students fell victim to it and she knew Nanami was one of those unfortunate individuals. 

Without much to anyone’s surprise, many sought for revenge on the cursed corpse, but Yaga was the only obstacle that prevented them from doing so.

"A crow came to my office with Alex's request attached to it." Yaga handed Shion a scroll. "He specifically asked for you to join him on a mission."

Shion loosened the tie around the paper before briefly scanning the contents. "Is something wrong with it? You don't usually hand-deliver my missions unless it requires extra precaution."

"Call it a gut feeling, but…" Yaga picked up the felting needle and started working on his cursed corpse's torso. "I think something bad is going to happen with this one. I suggest you think carefully before accepting Alex’s request.” 

It’s been a while since she last heard that name. Alex was an Interpol agent who worked part time as a 1st Grade Sorcerer. He mostly dealt with international cases related to curses, or suspected curses. They had last spoken about two or three months ago, after Alex had enlisted her help in Egypt. 

“YOU DIDN’T TELL ME WE’RE GONNA DEAL WITH A FUCKING BOOBY TRAP!” Shion yelled. 

As the duo ran along the steep-yet-narrow hallway, a giant boulder rolled down behind them. Their mission was supposed to be straightforward–search this tomb to investigate a ‘sickness’ plaguing a nearby village. 

She hated the heat, the constant feeling of sand in her mouth and feet, and the camels kept spitting at her even though she did nothing to gain their ire. 

But the trip became 10x worse than it already was when Alex decided to take a rest. By leaning on the pyramid’s wall, he had triggered this comical chase scene. 

“YOU SAID IT’S A SIMPLE MISSION!” 

“I THOUGHT THAT MUMMY SHIT  ISN’T REAL!” Alex retorted, seemingly about to lose his breath. "ALSO, AREN'T YOU A SPECIAL GRADE SORCERER!? WHY DON'T YOU PROVE IT!?"

While turning sharply, Shion reached for the handle of her dagger as she skidded across the limestone concrete floor, facing the incoming boulder that could have easily flattened her into a pancake.

"SHUT UP!"

She closed her eyes and opened them, her eyes turned seafoam colored as she swung her weapon towards it, digging her dagger into the solid rock surface. In a split second, the huge boulder broke into multiple pieces before into fine dust. 

She thought she could finally have peace in her husband’s office. However, seeing Yaga-sensei surrounded with his own cute creations, it left Shion a question of her own as she stared at the wooden ceiling, mindlessly playing with the doll’s floppy white ears. 

‘What can I do after all of this ends?’ 

She never thought much about what her life would be after the war with the cursed spirits ended. It’s a fleeting dream for sure, but there’s always an end to everything. There’s a small seed of hope in her that she would live long enough to see that day.

Happy ending? Unlikely. She’d seen so much shit that it felt impossible for her to keep going. Shion had ended enough lives to hear the voices who condemned her to death. She closed her eyes, unconsciously relieving that memory again. 

A girl no younger than 13 with black hair made a trail of red roses as she wielded her blade, tainting the snowy grounds of the compound. 

The pleas for mercy fell on deaf her ears as she drove her katana into her targets. Why would they bother to ask for forgiveness? Weren’t they bad people? She didn’t expect them to regret anything they did. 

The thirst for revenge clouded her judgment, ignoring the cold, lifeless eyes of her victims. They would answer for her parent’s blood with their own.

Her cold fingers warmed as a crimson-colored metallic smelling liquid painted them. Was it from the mother who wept over her dead children? Or was it from the elderly couple she struck down?

 At this point, Death would be her constant companion. And even if she wanted to, there’s no turning back as she was already knee-deep into her path of vengeance. 

The people she slaughtered like cattle were her mere stepping-stones towards her own goal. 

Shion’s eyes shot wide open, breaking free from her memory when she felt something vibrating in her pocket. She fished it out, and her phone lit up with her husband's caller ID, and an incoming request for a video call. 

She accepted the call, and the screen of her phone changed to show her husband’s stupidly handsome face. She questioned the acceleration of her heartbeat upon realizing he didn’t have his usual white bandages, leaving his face bare. She’d seen his beautiful blue eyes countless times, but why now? 

“Miss me that much?” Gojo raised his brow at his wife’s stoicism. “You usually pick up my calls after 3 rings, honey.”

This unexpected pet name sent color to Shion’s pale cheeks. “If you called me to prove your point, I'd hang up on you.” 

“Wait!” Her husband loudly exclaimed. “ I just wanted to hear how things are going so far. It’s pretty busy around here. I’ll be out for another two weeks. ”

14 more days? That’s too long for him to be away. Then again, it’s not like everyone could be a sorcerer which meant more work for her husband. Would it be alright to be a little selfish, to ask for more of his time? 

Masking her disappointment, Shion let out a small sigh. “Where do you want me to start?” 

“From the very beginning.”

The conversation between the couple was supposed to be a quarter of an hour but it went beyond that. Surprisingly, Gojo didn’t interrupt her once with his usual snide remarks. It’s almost as if he called her to listen to her voice. This idea almost made her blush on the spot as her heart beat faster. 

Shion let out a small gasp, remembering something at the last second. “Also, Watanabe-sensei shot Tsukamoto dead.”

“The teddy bear with boxing gloves?” Gojo asked, watching Shion nodded. “Save me a front row seat–I wanna be there when it happens.”

“When what happens?” 

“When Yaga-sensei suplexes Watanabe-sensei.” 

Now, it would be an interesting sight to see. 

“Satoru,” Shion called him, but instead of warmth, a dreadful feeling formed in the pit of her stomach. “Before you go, can I ask you something?”

Gojo’s lax expression straightened as he picked up the seriousness of Shion’s tone. 

“We’ve been married almost six years, Satoru,” Shion started, pausing for a moment. “And I‘ve been thinking about your answer that day. Is it still the same? Marrying me because you have to?”

The day after her trial and announcement of her engagement, a question formed in her head despite the  influence of anesthesia in her system. She thought that the drug had given her the courage to ask her husband. So much of that day was foggy, yet somehow his words became engraved deep in her memory.  

Back then, his answer solidified her belief that her married life would be miserable. 

“Why do you want to marry me, Gojo?” 

“I could let them have your head.” Gojo grabbed a lock of her black hair, playing it between his fingers. “But…you possess one-of-a-kind technique. That would become one of my regrets, if I didn’t intervene.”

Gojo pressed his lips against her hair, the disgust churning Shion’s stomach.

“The wedding gift I want from my lovely soon-to-be wife is… don’t die on me.”

Instead of an immediate response, the astounding silence was enough to make Shion’s blood run cold. Although Gojo’s expression remained unchanged, she saw the uneasiness in his eyes. 

‘What are we?’ 

Three simple words were enough to change everything she had with Gojo. She wanted to ask that question, and resisting the temptation grew harder and harder with each passing day–the risk was too heavy to jeopardize what they had. 

And look at her selfish curiosity brought to her. She almost ruined what she had with him because of his silent response. That was enough for Shion. Yet why did she feel such disappointment? Did she truly hope his answer would be different? 

“Shion-”

"Please forget about this conversation." Shion bit her inner cheek, preventing herself from frowning. "It's unfair for you to be asked on the spot when you have other priorities to worry about."

Another moment of stillness passed between them, but it wasn’t the uncomfortable type of silence, like she had experienced with Shoko earlier. 

Gojo chose "Let's talk about it when I get back, okay?"

Fearing her voice would fail her, Shion nodded. Without anything else to say, Gojo ended the call, returning her phone's screen back to her wallpaper. It’s her pre wedding photo. She couldn’t recall the fine details on how she came to agree with the decision. 

However, she noticed something different in Gojo. As far as she remembered, this photo dated back when things were so damn complicated and difficult between them, causing a thick strain in their relationship. 

Yet, the softness she found in his gaze towards her told her otherwise. 

Why was he looking at her like that? As if…she was everything to him? 

---------------------------------

One late evening, a lone special grade sorcerer, Satoru Gojo, finally returned home after eight long days with barely enough sleep. His mission ended earlier than expected, but hey, at least he could finally see his lovely wife sleep properly in his comfy bed.

“I’m home!” 

After taking his shoes off near the doorstep, he walked towards the living room with a spring in his step. However, his expectations fell shortly after seeing a messy patch of green hair on top of a bespectacled man’s head. 

“Oh, you’re home.” Watanabe folded the newspaper in half. “And that’s my cue to leave.”

“Watanabe-sensei?” Gojo knitted his brows. “What are you doing here in my house? Where are Tsumiki and Megumi?”

“First, your wife asked me to look after them while she’s on a mission. Second, they’re asleep.” The school doctor rolled his neck before rubbing the nicotine patch on his upper left arm. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go back to school.”

“And Shion?”

“What about her, Gojo?" Watanabe's eyes widened a bit upon remembering. “She did tell me she’s going home with you in tow three days ago.” 

Gojo resisted the urge to frown in confoundment upon hearing what Watanabe said. As much as he remembered, there was nothing indicating that his wife would be coming home with him. Maybe she said that to quell the children’s worries? After all, he hadn’t given them a clear idea as to when he’d be back.

So, his wife contacted Watanabe three days ago? Had something happened whilst he’s away? Nothing came to mind. Probably some sort of mix-up in communication. Still, he had a bad feeling.

Watanabe blinked a couple of times. “Anything else?” 

“I need you to look after the kids again.” 

“Huh? I’m a doctor, not a babysitter.” 

“I’ll tell Yaga-sensei what happened to Tsukamoto.”

“How did you-forget it.” Watanabe sighed heavily, scratching his head in the process. “Your influence on her truly shows. I can’t believe I’m still here, babysitting… You better cover my ass if Ieiri comes looking for me.”

Watanabe took his spot again on the couch as Gojo made way to his bedroom. He switched on the lights, illuminating his room. He lied down in bed and called his wife’s phone. The phone on the other end started ringing just as he put it to his ear. He didn’t realize how much he missed her until he heard Shion’s voicemail. 

Gojo kept calling and calling until his frustration took over. Where the fuck is she? He couldn’t sense the wedding ring or even her dreaded cursed energy. He cursed underneath his breath before getting out of bed. 

His mood improved when his eyes landed on a long, white floppy eared puppy. It was sitting comfortably on top of Shion’s bookshelf while wearing clothes that resembled his uniform. Instead of the white bandages, a black blindfold covered its eyes.

"Why, hello…" Gojo grinned, picking up the stuffed plush toy. "Is this supposed to be me?"

Even though Shion denied missing him, Gojo felt the effort she put into making this handicraft.  “We’ve been married almost six years, Satoru,” Shion started, pausing for a moment. “And I‘ve been thinking about your answer that day. Is it still the same? You’ve stayed married to me because you feel that you have to?” Gojo frowned. How could he forget that conversation? When his wife had never before questioned anything about their marriage…

Technically speaking, his answer hadn’t changed. He only married her to save her from getting her head chopped off. But if things were different, maybe he would marry her out of love, or maybe he didn’t. Instead, he would find another alternative to see her alive and breathing. 

He put the doll back where it was and began browsing through Shion’s mini library. If he couldn’t get through to her himself, maybe he could find some sort of clue in her books. He pulled down his bandages and started browsing through her collection. 

After almost half an hour, Gojo took note of the central themes in some of the books he briefly read. And, he wondered if it had something to do with him.

“If only I met you sooner.” …People tend to weave this idea into various stories– romantic or not, it was always a hit with the audience. Despite Shion seemingly being a fan of this trope, Gojo didn’t see the appeal of it. 

As he grew older and wiser with time, he understood why this futile fantasy often played into stories. Gojo believed its popularity was fueled by self-doubt, as humans tended to be fickle with their opinions on relationships. He could imagine the reason behind Shion’s fascination towards it. Was it because of how lonely she felt in the years before she met him? Or did she sense the solitude in him? 

Putting the book away, he pulled out his phone and noticed a text notification from Shion. The tension in his shoulders didn't leave. Why did he feel uneasiness from it?

In the picture, a disheveled woman was sitting alone, seemingly her arms were behind the chair she’s sitting on. She slumped over the chair with her hair hanging like curtains across her face. Above her was a single dimly lit lightbulb, illuminating her tired features and the black silk dress hung on her body. Splotches of red and purple littered across her arms and legs.

But the temperature in his body rose in anger and the bedroom dropped to zero degrees when he saw text:

“You’ll raise hell from the bottomless pit just for her, right?” 

-----------------------------

A/n: HEEEYYYYY, I'm back from my unannounced 4 month hiatus. Don't worry, this author is fighting tooth and nail with writer's block on a daily basis. Anyways, it was supposed to be a Megumi-ish centered chapter but the author still hasn't grasped of his character that much to think what would he be like in his childhood with Shion around. Because of this said problem, I was duking out with writer's block, and school.

Special thanks to zark or xerox-candybar for beta reading this chapter because as always, she did a wonderful job.

Also, for those who are up to date with the manga....Yeah...Since Gege chose to end the year with a bang, I might as well slammed the door open into the new year with a nice cliffhanger. ^^

In addition, here's Alex's Character Info: Character Profile: Alexander Atotsugi “Alex” Kim Enrollment Method: Family Lineage Hobbies: Collecting Antiques Favorite Food: Hae-jang guk (hangover soup) Least Favorite Food: Kimchi (can’t handle spice - his mother was purely disappointed in him) Cause of Stress: Dirty stuff - His mother is Korean American while his father is a former member of the Kamo Clan. His second name, Atotsugi, means "heir" as his father wants him to be the next clan leader. - Supposed to be next in line for clan head, but he has no interest in it. Because of his rejection, he earned the stitches on his face because his head was literally split into two from the family’s assassination attempt. - Met Mei Mei in a clan meeting between their families (after his clan paid him enough to make an appearance), only to find out he's her senior at Jujutech.

Hopefully, my next update wont be after 4 months as my life will be a bit busy after graduation this month. So, for those who were waiting, I apologize and thank you for being patient. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll see you guys whenever the next ch.

[dualitysdownfall]

I'm going to ramble here, I don't like to just add onto the thread with my personal stuff like this but I drafted it in the tags and I'm not done, I'll run out of tag slots at this rate.

As a kid I internalized the idea that school was the most important thing for my future. I took it to heart early on and excelled in school. Well, this is my final semester of college and still do not have many useful skills outside of school.

If you tell kids they'll only thrive if they do perfectly in school--and they believe it--they still won't thrive because they'll focus on that over all else, instead of things like socializing and learning basic adult independence.

Don't get me wrong, it's good to value your studies, not all of that information/experience is useless, etc. But my education has been essentially the sole focus of my life for as long as I can remember, and so far it has not paid off like I thought it would when I was a kid. I don't have much to show for myself other than my academic record.

Like... I know so strikingly little about finances and bills and home maintenance, basic things that an independent person would need to know, right? I didn't have time to learn that stuff when I was in 3 AP classes at once! (and of course, i have forgotten most of the content of those classes so how much did i really gain from sinking so much of my time into them?)

A couple months ago (I think), my dad told me we should get me a credit card, and I said I didn't understand credit cards because weren't they like xyz? And he said actually it's like abc and he explained to me how they worked so I understood. Which is good. But while he was talking I just started crying because I'm twenty-two whole ass years old and I didn't know this. No one ever told me. Years into the part of my life where I might be expected to already be using this knowledge.

It's things like these that convince me that I could never be independent, which is why I never have been. Admittedly, part of my problem is that I can't drive for reasons I can't really fix, but that's solely a me thing and not what I'm talking about. Even if I could drive, I still don't know a lot about getting jobs or getting housing or how any kind of insurance works. If the government or bureaucracy is involved, assume I don't understand it. Hell, I'm not even entirely sure how phone plans work.

I guess my point is that this world is unfathomably complicated and doesn't exactly look out for everyone, and they didn't bother to teach us how to live in it.

If you want us to succeed in this world, patiently teach us how to live in it, instead of dumping us in an algebra class where we'll forget everything within a month.

Even now, I've never sought out a little entry-level part time job or whatever, because being a full-time student I don't have the energy or time to expend on anything else. I even have to put off personal projects and things I enjoy to focus on my classes. Now, at this point, you can pin that on me, because I did technically choose to go to college. But I chose it because I felt I had to: the world had me convinced that I wouldn't get anywhere without a degree. And who planted that idea in my mind...?

I've been a student my whole life. A good student, even. Which is what they want, what they told me to be, right? It's not good for a struggling student to tell them the rest of their life depends on them getting it together. But being smart as a kid didn't make it easier for me. I gave it my all and didn't get much in return. Folks out there have gotten opportunities outside of school that led them to success without needing to try as hard in school as I did.

School is not the be-all end-all that everyone makes it out to be.

And all this is not to mention how much time on the things I'm actually passionate about that I sacrificed in favor of my education. If I cared just a bit less about the distinctions on my high school diploma (who cares about that?!), I could have had more electives in things I really love like choir and art. I gave up that opportunity for reasons that in retrospect just don't hold up, and I'll never get that back.

These days I'm studying art, my passion, and I still have to put off personal projects. There's just enough time in the week to be a student and then recharge from being a student, and not a second longer. No job. Just enough free time hobbies to keep from going insane. That's it.

In four months, I will graduate. It will be the first time in my entire memory that I will not be a student. I don't know who or what I am without school. And it will probably be difficult to find out. Because once I've taken enough time to recover my energy after finals, and to celebrate my graduation, and to work on personal things that have waited months or years for me to have the time for them... after all of that...

I will still have to learn how to be an adult before I get to actually be one.

I think that when we tell teenagers that their lives will be over if they don't have the most perfect possible trajectory through the education system, that this is, perhaps, if I may be bold, not good for them,

[essl-studies]

Moms who study tips:

About an hour ago, I got a comment on my ‘about me’ post asking for advice on how to study while being a mom. Since I’m sure someone else out there might need these tips too, I’m gonna post it instead of a directed comment reply. Don’t worry, I’ll tag the person who wanted the tips so they can see as well.

It should also be noted that the tips and trick I’m going to share were learned by me the hard way. Some might seem like common sense, but they weren’t to be.

Here goes:

1. Find the time of day you work your best (early morning, later morning, afternoon, Erving, late at night)

2. Once you figure out this crutial part of yourself, find a way to be able to either have an entire block of that time free or at least an activity your kids can do that is more child led than mom led

For example, I work best late at night. I always have. So, I make sure my kids are in bed by nine with no stimulation (yes, even on the weekends). This way, I can study and complete assignments when I know I am in the best state of mind to do so.

3. This one is crucial EAT ENOUGH FOOD!!!!

Like seriously. Make sure you are fueling your body on more than sugar and caffeine. I made that mistake at the junior college level. I was burnt out by midterms and dragging ass the rest of the semester I went from all A’s to having a low C due to simply not having the energy to even attempt the assignments.

4. DON’T try to be super mom. You will mess up, forget things, or even fall asleep while your ment to be enjoying family time. But it happens. You’re using up a lot of brain power just to be able to handle your course load. The important part is not to let it get to you.

5. Study where you’re most comfortable.

I know conventional understanding is that you need a desk and chair. But, I do all my work on my bedroom floor. Not only am I able to stretch out an use a variety of poses, but I also can spread multiple assignments out and still have room to move freely as I wish.

6. Don’t stress the small stuff

Since I have been at university, I have tried so hard and done well for myself. But, I also have a problem with striving obsessively for the 100%. I cried when I got an eighty-nine out of ninety one because to be, that was a fail. If. I don’t get the highest mark possible, I don’t feel like I understand the material. It was only after my freak out that Dr. Gares explained to be that no one is meant to get a perfect score because she grades tough. This is so, when you go to upper level classes, you are prepared for the nit picking way those professors will do their own grading.

7. Ambiance music

Studying should have to be silent. And, as a mom, you won’t be able to niece that silence often enough for a productive study habit to form. When I first started using ambiance music (from YouTube) I used it to distract me from the sounds of my then toddlers platingtogether in the next room. Now, I use it as a cue to my school-aged children that ‘mama’s trying to do her school now’ (yes my kids call me mama. No it’s not weird. They just hate the word mommy)

8. YouTube is your friend

There are so many educational videos or series on YouTube to help boost what you are studying/learning in class. I LOVE crash course. I even watch videos or classes I’m not even in. Just so I can learn something new that isn’t a part of any necessary work.

That’s my short list of tips and tricks as I can think of them at the moment. If I think of any more, I’ll let y’all know through another post like this one. How you find at least one of these helpful as you find your way through your educational journey.

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@hOney-bel