#<- she is running a marathon i am very proud of her

[inevitablestars]

looks like the only option i have tonight is to get wildly high and hope that i write and accept that i won't

[bitchesgetriches]

Bitches I need some advice.

I'm fat, okay? I'm not ashamed about it. It just... Is. I'm fat.

Being fat is also fucking me up. It's causing me sleep problems, it's fucking my joints, I can't walk as far as I used to, I haven't run in years.

I want to lose weight. Not for anyone else. For me. I want to be fit again.

I'm surrounded by people telling me I'm "not fat" and need to "love myself like I am". I'm 210lb and 5'3". Ya girl is fat. And I'm okay with that it's not a bad word. I love myself. But I also love the things I used to be able to do when I was fitter. It's just really fucking hard.

I've got zero support left and right. And I don't know what to do. I know this isn't your area of expertise, but you're such great internet mamas that maybe you can help.

My darling child, we are SO humbled that you came to us with this. And while this isn't an area of our OFFICIAL expertise... weight and athleticism is something that I, Piggy, personally think a lot about! So let me see if I can offer some support to you, my beloved fat child.

By way of background: I have never been fat. Heavier than I want currently, but not fat. So I don't completely understand what you're going through. I have always been an athlete of one sort or the other. But more than that, I have always had the privilege of being relatively skinny without trying. At peak fitness I was running and rock climbing and doing all the stretchy and weight-trainy stuff. I was 5'5" and 130 lbs of jacked Bitch.

I am also a proud Italian American woman, which means that after 30 genetics decreed that I start putting on weight and rounding out and coming into my full Zia-ness. I'm currently 155 lbs. and running/climbing/stretching/jumping about/weight training is getting harder and harder. And that's frustrating to me.

Fat is not a bad word, merely a descriptor. So I'mma use it just as you have! I'm proud that you are prioritizing your health and ability to do what you love over losing weight for the sake of just being smaller. Because let's be clear: weight and health do not necessarily go hand in hand. If your goal is to improve your sleep quality, energy levels, and joint pain, then you should focus on activities that will work directly on those issues. Maybe that'll lead to weight loss--maybe not!

A lot of the medical establishment is cruel to fat people, so I'd be cautious about approaching this with your doctor. But you SHOULD get medical guidance before embarking on any kind of physical change. If your doctor says "Well, just lose weight through diet and exercise!" then you might want to look for a new doctor. If they instead offer practical solutions for incremental improvement, then great.

One of my favorite athletes is The Mirnavator. She's a fat marathon runner and offers a lot of information on how to start walking more and running as a fat person. I think she'll be a good role model for you as she focuses a lot on energy and joint health.

Also, you should check out Aubrey Gordon's blog Your Fat Friend and her podcast with Michael Hobbes, Maintenance Phase. She's also got some great books out! She's a fat expert on weight loss and diet culture. And her insights into healthy nutrition and body image are amazing. Her data-based approach will help you avoid the extreme dieting and weight loss trends that can hurt your health. Plus she's funny as fuck.

Lastly I will just say that mental health is tied to physical health. You're bummed about not doing the things you use to be able to do... and that probably makes it a lot harder to change! Acknowledge any depression or anxiety you feel about being fat and give yourself compassion. Start small and do what feels good.

Now here are two VERY old articles I wrote when I knew less about fatness. I think they still have a little bit to offer, though:

Why You Probably Don't Need That Gym Membership

Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money 

Any fat members of Bitch Nation who want to weigh in? Uh... pun not intended.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

NERD!MIGUEL IS SO REAL I LUV HIM <3333

NERD!MIGUEL IS THERE I KNOW IT

Like...You saw what he said to Gwen when she called it a watch (which IT IS).

[omg she's so tiny small next to him]

He's a NERD. He thinks this stuff is COOL. He's WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK.

Like I imagine he's used to it by now - people's eyes glazing over when he begins to explain something technical or program-y, like Lyla's algorithms or the Multiverse Anti-Glitch feature of the watches.

He's put SO much work into all of this, the whole facility and the tech.

He made Lyla himself, but he knows that most people aren't really interested in that. So he's learned to simplify things.

If you ask a question, like how he made Lyla - he'll answer it basic and to the point.

_-_ 'She's an AI. She's my assistant and the notification system within your watch.'

He probably won't even look up from his work, thinking it's just the routine questions everyone asks before moving on to the next thing.

BUT IF YOU ASK FURTHER - Miguel's like

Because it's not often someone actually like...does that.

It's probably very rare that someone shows interest in his technological, engineering, or physics studies - all of which he's INCREDIBLY talented at and actively working on

You ask him how long it took him to make her, he says a year or two.

You tell him how impressive that is and BOOM NERD!Miguel.

He's telling you how her voice detection took the longest, and how her multiverse-monitoring probability algorithm was something he had to tweak twenty thousand times.

You compliment him about the design of the watch, he's like

_-_ 'I still have the protypes.' And he's ready to show you different ones, different shapes and materials he considered using, but eventually ruled out through experiments and tests

AND DON'T GET HIM STARTED ON THEORIES OH GODDDD

You mention the words 'String Theory' or 'Time Dilation' around him and you will NEVER hear the end of it.

He has so many opinions on it he's never had the chance to share.

Ideas and theories about things like fourth dimensions, worm holes, black holes, and dozens of other theoretical scientific concepts.

I mean, he MADE time travel. He is an EXPERT in that stuff.

I would KILL to have a Time Travel Movie Marathon with Miguel.

Sitting on the couch and watching things like Back to the Future, and he describes what they got right, what would be impossible, how it could work in theory.

He probably talks through the whole movie, and picks each one apart. You watch Doctor Who and he WILL NOT SHUT UP.

He's probably AMAZIINNGG at math.

Like math IS science. It's the answer for science. So he's probably a natural master.

You can be like 'Miguel, What's 34% of 12,967?' - Without blinking he'd be like

_-_'...I'm guessing 4408, or something? I don't know, am I right? Ask Lyla, don't ask me.'

But you don't need to ask Lyla cause HE'S RIGHT

HISTORY TOO!

I mean... the man time-travels. I think he'd have at least a good grasp on history, and time periods. Thinks like ancient roman historians and how their thoughts effect modern science, and how certain events effected the flow of time throughout history.

I imagine he finds it so fascinating, seeing the vast differences that can span in universes, just from one small change. Maybe he even finds comfort in it, seeing how histories and stories have a natural flow in a way fiction can only hope to imitate.

I love me some Nerd!Miguel.

I wanna get in bed with Miguel and by that I mean I want to sit next to him as he sits in bed reading a book on the Theory of Relativity with reading spectacles and a mug of sleepytime tea okay

A Miguel who runs up to his partner like 'Read this,' and he's all proud as he hands you a notepad full of numbers. But to him it's a formula he's been working WEEKS on, one that'll make Lyla run smoother, and everything much easier and he wants you to think he's cool for it

A Miguel who spends date nights watching NatGeo documentaries for fun

NERDY NERD MIGUEL DORKY MILD NERDY MIGUEL

[stitched-mouth-vs-the-world]

Welcome to Stitched's first Kinktober! I'm very excited to share what's in my drafts as I am very proud of myself for once. Chapters will be posted midday (BST) everyday, chapters that have been missed thanks to Tumblr will be posted today as soon as I can. If you can’t wait go to my Wattpad or AO3. Here's a run down of what to expect in this book:

Day 1: Master’s Whore (Creampie Kink)

Summary: Vincent Phantomhive fucks his maid just a room over from his 'happy' family.

Vincent Phantomhive x Fem! Maid! Reader (Fic)

Day 2: Making Porn With The Number One Pro Hero (Amateur Porn)

Summary: You had a sex dream about your boyfriend, the Number One Hero, All Might wants to make that fantasy a reality after you punch another All Might slut in the face.

All Might x Younger Fem! Pro-Hero! Reader (Fic)

Day 3:  Being FWB With Ramona Flowers (Casual Sex)

Summary: Imagine being FWB with Ramona Flowers.

Ramona Flowers x GN! Reader (Headcannons)

Day 4:  Before Her Show (Behind The Scenes Fucking / Affair)

Summary: Imagine secretly banging the World's biggest singer.

Envy Adams x Scott's Sibling! GN! Reader (Imagine)

Day 5:  Mommy’s Sweet Praises (Praise Kink)

Imagine Layla El Faouly with a major Praise kink.

Layla El Faouly x GN! Reader (Imagine)

Day 6: In The Dark Of The Night (Demon Fucking)

Summary: After arriving at and joining a Covent you so didn't want to join, Valak takes an unusual liking to you.

Valak x Nun! Fem! Reader (Fic)

Day 7: Just For Research (First Time)

Summary: When Rick discovers his top student is a virgin, he knows he must change that so she can write her paper on human pheromones.

Rick Sanchez x College Student! GN! Reader (Fic)

Day 8: Inappropriate Workplace Behaviour (Office Sex / Boss x Employee)

Summary: Lord Death can't stop jacking off to his decades younger secretary.

Lord Death x Younger! Secretary! Fem! Reader (Fic)

Day 9:  Naughty Girls Are Punished (Spanking)

Summary: Georgia decides to teach her mischievous girlfriend a lesson.

Dom! Georgia Miller x Fem! Reader (Imagine)

Day 10:  Hot Ice (Temperature Play)

Summary: Nadia has always liked ice. It was always nice to crunch down on after a cigarette and you liked how cold it made her mouth feels. So by accident one nice, it joins you two in the bedroom.

Nadia Vulvokov x Fem! Reader (Imagine)

Day 11:  Revenge, You Thought (Bondage)

Summary: John enjoys teaching his naughty little thing a lesson and you enjoy learning it.

John Brown x Fem! Reader (Imagine)

Day 12: Car Hookups (Car sex)

Summary: You and Oboro regularly meet up late in his car for sex.

College AU! Oboro Shirakumo x GN! Reader (Imagine)

Day 13: Pegging L Would Include… (Pegging)

Summary: You manage to convince L to part take in a kink you've been wanting to try out.

L x GN! Reader (Headcannons)

Day 14: Wet Fucking (Shower / Tub sex)

Summary: Whilst the Handler is away, you and Lila decide to make good use of the beautiful bathtub in the hotel.

Lila Pitts x Fem! Reader (Imagine)

Day 15:  Insatiable Needs (Marathon sex)

Summary: When Steve is unable to satisfy his new wife's insatiable needs, he calls a friend.

Estefania x Fem! Reader (Imagine)

Day 16: Mommy’s Baby (Lactation)

Summary: Carol's duty as a mother is to make sure her baby is always well feed. She's your Mommy now so she must make sure your well fed.

Carol from Cobweb x Fem! Reader (Fic)

Day 17: Bruno Needs A Spanking (Orgasm Denial)

Summary: Denying Bruno Madrigal an orgasm includes…

Bruno Madrigal x GN! Reader (Headcannons)

Day 18:  Slowly Stripping (Exhibition)

Summary: Julieta can't help but find something so hot about being fully nude in front of her lover.

Julieta Madrigal x GN! Reader (Headcannons)

Day 19: Choking and Gasping (Breath Play)

Summary: Morpheus discovers he loves the sound of hearing you struggle to breathe.

Dream x GN! Reader (Headcannons)

Day 20: Edge You To Death (Edging)

Summary: Undertaker enjoys ruining your orgasms.

Undertaker x Fem! Reader (Fic)

Day 21: (Nun Fucking)

Summary: Sister Irene teaches you a holy lesson.

Sister Irene x Fem! Reader (Fic)

Day 22: Only Good Girls Get To Cum (Mirror Sex)

Summary: Ming forces you to watch yourself fall apart from just her fingers, just so you know how much of and dirty girl you are.

Ming Lee x Fem! Reader (Imagine)

Day 23: Pegging Fantasy (Pegging)

Summary: Jaime tells you his biggest sex fantasy and you make it your mission to make it happen.

Jamie Reyes x Fem! Reader (Headcannons)

Day 24: Green Mommy (Monster Fucking)

Summary: Your girlfriend's new power has made your sex life a whole lot more interesting.

Jennifer Walters x Fem! Reader (Fic)

Day 25: Papa’s Pet (Public Sex)

Summary: Dr Brenner will absolutely use you teach someone a lesson about the consequences of trying to steal what belongs to him.

Dr Martin Brenner x Fem! Reader (featuring 001?) (Fic)

Day 26: Blindfolding The Snake (Blindfold Sex)

Summary: You blindfold your good boy and reward him for all his hard work.

Servant! Snake x Master! Fem! Reader (Headcannons)

Day 27: Othello’s Experiment (Pregnancy / Breeding Kink)

Summary: Othello's newest obsession is pregnancy and all the symptoms that come with it. You've so generously agreed to help him in his little experiment for his research.

Othello x Fem! Human! Reader (Imagine)

Day 28: (Threesome)

Summary: Nemuri, your girlfriend, is shocked to hear about a filthy fantasy you've been thinking about. But still, she's more than willing to help her lover made said fantasy come true.

Midnight x Mt Lady x Fem! Reader (Fic)

Day 29: (Vouyerism)

Summary: Gabe has been watching you for a while now and has finally decided it time to come out and introduce himself.

Gabe x GN! Reader (Imagine)

Day 30: (Size Kink)

Summary: Nana is big and buff for a woman. She is quite used to hearing negative things about her muscly figure. The first thing she's ever received a compliment about her body was when you, her young girlfriend and successor's older sister, make a comment on how sexually aroused you are by her big muscles and all the filthy things you imagine she could to do to you with them.

Nana Shimura x All Might's Sister! Younger! Fem! Reader (Fic)

Which ones are you the most excited for?

[captain-lessship]

Where We Once Were Pt. 4

After your day in Hogsmede, every Slytherin was exhausted and had collapsed onto their beds. All resting easy except you.

You jolted up in your bed in the dead of the night. You often had bad dreams about your mother, she was screaming at you and just as she raised her wand, you’d wake up, wand raised bad well, ready to fend her off. 

This round it was worse because Hermione was there and she threw herself in front of you. 

You flung your covers off and ran to the bathroom. The light coming on to show your reflection in the mirror. You stared at it, hoping it would change.

Same eyes.

Same hair.

What if you had the same heart?

Your aunt and uncle often told you that you reminded them of her.

You knew you had a similar laugh and few mannerisms were picked up from her but what if the similarities were deeply wound around your very soul.

You cried but you tried to remain silent. A lot of emotions were discouraged of you. The only ones you could feel without later shame were bitterness, envy, rage, superiority and pleasure from other’s misfortunes. 

But she made you feel happy, love and secure. She made you feel human. And you loved her for it. 

But the reflection seemed to mock you, reminding you that you can’t run from genetics sand something’s really run in the family. 

“Accio scissors.” A silver pair of scissors appeared in your hand. You held up a strand of your curly hair, opened the scissors but stopped. 

Tears ran a marathon down your face but you smiled. You closed your eyes as you closed the scissors, hearing the snip and you watched as the curl fell to the floor.

Filled with a euphoric mania, you pulled and snipped til there was a pile of hair on the floor, your eyes finally met the reflection again. You smiled widely. 

It was much shorter than your collar bone length cut you had, you touched it, happy tears filling you.

“What have you done?” 

You flung around and saw a surprised yet tired Draco standing there. You froze.

“What have you done!” He shouted, walking to you. “Oh my god, what have you done?” He touched your hair.

“I cut it.”

“Obviously,” he scoffed, “but why?” 

“Because I…” you looked down.

“Because?” 

“Because I hate looking like her!” You screech at him, shoving him away from yourself. “People look at me as if they are waiting for me to start dropping bodies. They look at me with either fear or suspicion and I am sick of it! We are more than our parents actions!”

Draco stared at you, “It never bothered you before.”

“It did but I have finally had enough of it.”

“Do you really think,” he stared at you with resentment, “a haircut is going to make people like you?”

You stayed silent.

“You should be proud that we are better than most people.” 

You looked at him with a pitiful look, some people didn’t want to be saved, at least not yet. 

“I’m sorry you think that way.” You moved from the sink towards the door. Draco grabbed your arm. His eyes met yours, then a glimpse of understanding fizzled into them. You smiled weakly. 

“You missed several pieces.”

[pbandjesse]

Today was such a good day. Man am I tired.

I actually slept really well last night. And I did wake up a few times because I have anxiety about missing my alarm but it wasn't the worst I've ever had. When I woke up for real at 8:00 I got out of bed and said good morning to Dad and went to get washed up and dressed.

I was a little dazed. I didn't a 100% feel like myself today. But that was alright. I would be okay.

I would sit with dad until it was time to go. We talked. I love when we can have good debates and conversations. He has always been willing to hear me out. I wasn't the best debater today. Just to tired. But I was happy to be there. 

Mom did not want me to go. But we got lots of hugs in and then I brought everything to the car and it was time for me to go. I brought the mail up for Mom before I left and sorted myself out. And then I headed down town.

GPS thought I was going to take 35 minutes to get there. But it took almost the full hour. I left at 9:00 and it took me kind of a weird way. To broad Street then I got off like it told me to and it turned out there was a marathon down there and it was people everywhere and trucks and roads were closed and the GPS didn't know it was happening so it kept trying to get me a turn onto the marathon. And I was very frustrated and so I was texting Jess letting her know and she apparently had run into the same thing. And it took her a very weird way. So I just had to trust and if I kept getting away from the marathon it would eventually reroute. And it did but it was very stressful and I hate marathons so much.

I got there about 10 minutes before 10:00 and got a parking spot pretty quickly. I saw Jess and Kerry waiting for me. And I was so excited this even. I'm also just really happy about just got me out of parallel park recently because while I still don't like I don't have the overwhelming fear and I successfully pair will burn today in a very small spot that was really proud of myself. Apparently she had told Kerry that she was not worried about me because she had taught me a parallel park and she was totally right.

And the class was really fun. I wasn't sure how much of the actual work we were going to do. And it's an intro it's only a couple hours. But it ended up being great.

They started with a demo and we got to see the whole process. I have watched a lot of people do glass blowing so I had a vague idea of the steps and everything. We weren't sure if we were going to be able to choose our own color but we were and so I was very pumped. I already knew I wanted to do a purple pumpkin. I had made that decision a while ago. That if there was the color choice that's the color I wanted. And I was just really excited to get started.

The whole process took about 20 minutes per pumpkin. So they would get the stick which is a pipe they would collect the glass out of the furnace and heated up and shape it and use a mold and different wooden tools that are wet. And there's blowing involved but because of COVID they have come up with this system of using what's essentially like a stethoscope pump and I thought that was a really ingenious. So we don't all have to have our mouths on the same thing. And the color that you add onto it is called frit which was neat to learn. I kept calling them forbidden nerds. And I kept trying to make just laugh all day like at one point I asked her what she thought the water that the tools was in tasted like. And then she was just like you're not allowed to try it and I was like but what if I just.... And then she would yell at me. 

They broke us into three smaller groups. Our group was us three and two sisters. And they were really nice. Jess went first and she did such a good job. I wanted to be the best at taking videos and pictures from all angles so I was just running around all over the place to make sure I got the whole process. And it was really fun getting to see everyone's choices and our group didn't have any mistakes at all I was great. Jess chose her pumpkins color to be strawberry for the body of the pumpkin and pistachio for the stem. Then one of the other girls went and she chose a black pumpkin with a jewel tone mix stem which is black with rainbow. 

Then I went and I had so much fun. I got to talk to the girl about how there are similarities in bronze casting and she was really nice and a very good instructor. And it was neat to turn the glass I did squeeze too hard at one point when I was using the tool because it was more give than I thought it was going to have and that was very cool to see. And my pumpkin was a lot rounder I felt like that everyone else's. I also used a lot more fret for mine so it won't have dots hopefully and will be more of a solid color. Which is what I wanted.

I chose my pumpkin to be purple with a dark blue green stem called lagoon. And I think it came out so pretty. I can't wait to see what it looks like when it's all cooled down all the way.

The other girl went next and she chose teal pumpkin with a white stem and finally Kerry went And she chose an opaque yellow body and a white stem with rainbows in it called party mix. And honestly everyone's came out so cool.

For the first one Kerry volunteer to use the pump tool to put air into pumpkin and she was so good at it that she did everyone else's and she was so so good at it that one of the other interns thought that she was an intern and tried to make her do work and it was very funny. We really why are you so good at this. Because them when it was her turn last just took over on the pump and it turns out it was really difficult so maybe Kerry has a new job or hobby in her future.

The class was scheduled to go to one but we actually only stayed till a little afternoon. And then we all headed out and Jess will come back for the glass next weekend. I hope that we can take another class there because it was a lot of fun. Maybe we'll do a cup or something next time that's functional.

Just had figured out which restaurant we were going to go to for lunch already but we accidentally took the wrong way so we had to walk uphill for like 10 minutes. And poor Kerry breathes worse then either of us do and And she was so winded and was so angry at just for making us do that much walking but we would get to the restaurant it would be fine. And the restaurant was great it was so cute and the food was very very good. We talked about drama and family stuff and ate too much bread but it was very good bread.

And then all of a sudden everyone in the restaurant's phone starts going off with alerts because there have been a chemical spill in the Delaware River. And it was just like seriously. Apparently it was a latex spill near Bristol which is near my parent's house. And I looked at the map that the alert included and we were like right dead in the area that was potentially infected. And so everyone was like do we still drink the water that we have on the table but the alert said that it would be fine until 2:00? I've never seen anything like that before but I assume it's because of the way that the water system works it wouldn't be hitting the pipes for a while. And from what I'm seeing online now they're saying now you can drink it until midnight? But at that point people already gone crazy buying up all the water in the stores because they told you to use bottled water. At least hear when that happened and they told everyone they had to use bottled water because of something contaminating they provided water stations and gave people water away. This just seemed to be not handled well. Philadelphia is the sixth largest city in America and that's wild that that many people are without safe water right now. Hopefully that gets fixed very fast because I don't know what people are going to do. It's very scary.

We walked back to the car and went of much quicker way. No hills involved. And then just came to my car so I could give her her ceramic that she made last time she was with me. And she gave me a Band-Aid because I wouldn't stop picking at my thumb. And then it was hugs and time to go. 

My drive home was kind of rough. Originally I had thought it was only going to be an hour and a half because I was already in the city but getting out of the city from where I was took a while. There was a lot of traffic for some reason I'm assuming the water issue and the marathon. And honestly I had a lot of trouble keeping my eyes open once I got on the highway I was very tired. So I put on music instead of a podcast so I can please sing along to it which would keep me active enough. But I was not having a good time. After the first hour I did stop to use the bathroom and just shake off some of my tired feelings. And I would make it home in one piece.

I beat James home by a couple minutes so I brought all the stuff I could carry inside and gave sweetp a big hug and then James was home and I was giving them a big hug. And I unpacked my backpack and told James I needed to lay down.

I slept for like 2 hours which was not when I planned on but I really needed that. When I woke up Brandon was over with James working on their fantasy draft. And I went to the bath and I have been hanging out with sleepy who's being very very lovey with me. Now though I think it's time to get ready to go to sleep. Tomorrow me and James have the day off together which is great and we're going to do a dry run of honeymoon packing and we have laundry and groceries to get and maybe we'll go for a walk. I hope it's a nice day. I hope that you will have a great night. Sleep well and be safe. I hope your water is uncontaminated. Love you bye!

[xiiistoleti]

Alexa tried to ignore the fear running through her as she knocked on the door.

"Yes?" Melchior said lazily from inside the drawing room.

"I, uh, have a thing I need to talk about with you," she said, opening the door and stepping in. "Sir," she quickly added.

Melchior was sitting at his desk in a very in-between shape, whatever form he wanted to take didn't quite set in yet. He glanced at her, correcting something on his leg.

"Well?" He urged her when she didn't speak.

"It's, uh," she started, blushing in anxiety, her heart beating way faster than she wanted it to. Calm down, she thought, stress won't help you.

"Whatever it is, you can say it," Melchior sounded strangely docile. At least it would sound strangely for someone who only knew him as a sadistic monster.

"I... I heard that you wanted to start travelling, right?" She attacked the topic from another angle to prevent just standing there in stupefaction.

"You heard right. Why?"

"Well... uh..."

"Oh, spit it out already!" Melchior rolled his eyes impatiently.

Alexa took a deep breath.

"Iwanttoquitbecausei'munboundableandidon'tfeelgoodworkingforyou," she spat out very quickly.

Melchior was silent.

"I- I'm sorry, I mean, there's reasons, I can explain--" she stuttered, her fear catching up with what she just said.

"No."

"Well that's what I thought you would say but--"

"No, you don't have to explain."

This time it was Alexa who fell silent, her mouth hanging open, unsure of what she should even do.

"You were always just a temporary replacement of your, ahem, late father," he said dispassionately. "You have your talents, but you were never really what I was looking for in a szlachta," he continued. "Which is to say, I was considering firing you myself."

Silence.

"...I thought... I... Well, I thought you would threaten to kill me or something," she sputtered out, her legs shaking with the adrenaline suddenly going down.

"Why?" He asked shortly, piercing his eyes into her.

"Well, uh, because... of all the display of possessiveness... I saw from you in the past week? And because you already did threaten to kill me, five years ago, when you thought I was the one who contacted the hunters?"

"Well, that was not true though, was it?"

"What's with the sudden mercy?" She asked angrily, confused as to what was happening. "I thought you were some ancient monstrosity and proud of it, or whatever--"

"Would you like me to change my mind?" Melchior hissed, vexed, but quickly calmed down. "I am not ancient. I'm barely an antique. Three hundred and eighty-seven is not much at all..." He seemed like he wanted to end that sentence somehow, but he just trailed off.

"So... Am I to understand that you're just gonna let me go like nothing happened after you literally blew up a train to get Jain back when he wanted to leave?" She did not want to believe his words, even though this was literally the best case scenario.

"I am not obsessed with you," he shrugged and picked at the place on his leg he was previously correcting, frowning at something he apparently couldn't get quite right.

"Well, uh... Thank... you?... I guess?" She looked at the door behind her. "So, uh. I'll probably start. Packing and shit."

Melchior raised his hand.

"You are to stay until I leave for my travels. This should take no more than a month. Then you are free to do as you please, although I cannot guarantee that whatever you have on your mind will end well for you," he concluded rather ominously, but didn't elaborate.

"Uh... Yeah, I guess that's a good arrangement. I... I'll have more time to arrange something... for myself, basically," she agreed.

"Good. Is there anything else?"

"Uh, no, I don't think so. I'll... get going. To my room, I mean." She started making her exit slowly. Melchior didn't answer, instead focusing on his leg once again.

She spent the rest of the night feeling like she just ran a mental equivalent of a marathon, texting Honorata to prove she was not dreaming.

[runnersnz]

“I have always been an active person with a general interest in fitness but I didn’t start running until after I had children. I had severe post natal depression after the birth of my first child and so after the birth of my second son, three years later, I was much more aware of my mental health. I looked for a way of keeping fit, whilst getting outside and giving myself some time out from the responsibilities of being a mum – running seemed the perfect answer! It quickly became the thing that gave me time just for me.

I did a few shorter races while the kids were young, a couple of 10kms and a few duathlons. I had it in my mind that I would love to be able to run a half marathon but thought it just wasn’t possible for me. Another mum from my plunket group then told me how she was training for the Christchurch Half with a group from her church and invited me to join them. I did and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made! 

It was the support from the people in that group that made me realise that I really could do it and that got me across the finish line of my first half marathon. I continued to run with people from that group and went on to complete a few more half’s, and although he didn’t tell me at the time, the coach had set the training plan up so that there was a marathon six weeks after one of them. So when I’d done the half he just said “well, you’ve trained to this point, done a really good half, now you could keep going and do a full!” My belief in myself that I could do it definitely wasn’t as strong as his belief that I could!

On the marathon day I was extremely nervous on the start line, but it was an amazing race and one that will stick in my mind for just being awesome. You never know what’s going to happen in a race, you don’t know if you can complete it, but I was smiling from beginning to end. My friend joined me on her bike towards the end and I remember her saying “I’m pretty sure you’re meant to be dying about now!” But we were just running along chatting and it was a great run for all the right reasons. 

My running has evolved over the years and the distances have increased. I enjoy being part of a race but I also just love getting out and adventuring with friends. I am happiest when I am out on the trails. Speed is irrelevant to me. It is being out in nature, moving my body and freeing my mind that is important. It’s all about just being present and celebrating the fact that I get to run and have a body that allows me to! I have faced some mental health problems in my life and running has definitely helped me to feel in control of my body during times when I haven’t necessarily been able to control my mind. 

You learn so much from running, especially the longer distance runs, that you can apply to other areas of your life; like just keep putting one foot in front of the other and don’t look too far ahead. Running an ultra can be a very overwhelming thing, but if you break it down into lots of 5km, all of a sudden it doesn’t seem so overwhelming.

The people and the community that I have connected with along my running journey have made such a difference to me. I like to think that I’ve made a difference to some people as well. I volunteer for Speed Freaks as a coach. I’ve been doing that for about 18 months now and I just absolutely love it! The philosophy behind the Speed Freaks is to bring people together by using running as a vehicle for overcoming mental health or addiction issues. Just having the support of other people around you, people that notice if you don’t turn up, who check in with you and see how you are – that’s everything. And it’s not necessarily about the outcome of races or how fast you are, it’s just about being around supportive people who’ve got a common goal. Wearing the blue t-shirt is a big honour to me. I love it when people recognise you and call you a ‘freak’ as you’re running along. 

I have done a lot this year, it’s been awesome and I am really proud of some things I’ve achieved – my first backyard ultra and first ‘official’ ultra race, but I think I’m actually going to go back to running for the enjoyment of it for a bit. I just need to go back to the love of it for a while.”

Kat @sherbetweb (Christchurch) Photo taken on the Kepler Track – Portraits of Runners + their stories @RunnersNZ

[chelseydavidson]

Week #13 Progress

What is working?

Honestly, at this point, I dare say that my business is working…

Let’s break it down a bit: I have – count ‘em – TWO MORE CLIENTS!!!

Last week, I got a text from a post-secondary student – let’s call her Tina Turista – who was looking for “remedial Spanish” (this is how she described it via text message). I responded that I could help and eventually we spoke on the phone to clarify exactly what she was looking to achieve. She explained to me that she is going to Spain for an internship this summer and wants to brush up on her Spanish (just conversational, not technical jargon for her job) for the next six weeks before she heads out in July. I scheduled some time with her and actually went for the first hour-long session with Tina yesterday. (A quick sidenote: Tina is actually outside of the prescribed geographic region, but only slightly as an Oshawa resident living pretty much on the borderline between there and Whitby, so I felt it was more than fair to make an exception.)

Tina is actually an anomaly in which she is both the student and the paying client, as opposed to the parents I’ve become accustomed to dealing with. This first session went well, in my opinion, in that the client seemed to engage with me (less of a surprise on account of her being the person paying) and ultimately was extremely pleased with her progress. It almost felt like she was looking for a hitting partner to try out her Spanish backhand.

Tina also mentioned the fact that it was difficult to find a Spanish tutor in such a short timeframe and that my prices were insanely low. Like everything, feedback is always golden, so I may consider increasing my rates for Spanish tutoring on a small scale next time, or perhaps at minimum doing more research on the going rate for a Spanish tutor in the area. 

In case we were in danger of forgetting, shall I remind you that I secured two clients this week? Yes, I have lined up client #4 in my list. I received a phone call today from someone I’ll call Exam Sam. Sam was interested in scheduling me for the second week of June to do a bit of a longer tutoring session than the norm to prepare her child for grade 9 final exams, specifically English and French. As a result, I am booked for June 9 for three straight hours with Sam Jr. While I am excited for the opportunity to have a fourth client, I do recognize that this client might not have longevity in mind, so this might be a one-time deal. All the same, a customer is a customer, so I will do my level best to exceed expectations.

Oh, and let’s not forget my little world of existing clients! It feels like a very busy week. I saw Johnny Appleseed for French tutoring last Wednesday (and will also see him again tomorrow, since Mrs. Appleseed has increased sessions to twice a week as we head into his final exam period); I also saw both Jan and Marcia Brady last Friday for math tutoring. Progress is continuing at a similar pace, so clients (and by that, I mean parents) are happy and students seem to be proud of their accomplishments, too. 

Since this will be my last post regarding this venture, I will likely go into further detail in my final report and presentation with a roundup of my schedule for the next few weeks to best capture the total number of hours accomplished so far and other such details. All the same, the business model seems to be working in my opinion, with a meagre but steady flow of clientele (an amount that I alone can sustain). 

What is not working?

Did I mention how tired I am? 

Running a business is positively exhausting. I constantly feel like I’m running behind, even though I do seem to be keeping pace. I am reminding myself of marathoner thoughts with reminders that any sprinting bursts forward will just tire me out even more in the long run. A lot of tortoise and hare parables have been slinking around my brain as of late. 

In other areas that I’m less than pleased with, my marketing plans obviously didn’t pan out the way I planned. (More about this will come in my final report and presentation – I can assure you.) My digital game never really clicked in, and I’ve frankly been too tired with operating the business to run another canvassing campaign with the remainder of the printed flyers. That being said, at some point, I suspect a lull of some kind will appear and I’ll seize the chance to do a little extra marketing. 

At the same time, though, I am also well aware that the result of effective marketing is – gasp! – more clients. At this stage, do I want them yet? Sometimes fast growth is not the right move; sustainability is. So, I am kind of making peace with the fact that my organic marketing aspirations fell flat because it turned out that I didn’t quite need them as much as I thought. (I do think a great deal was luck, but I’m also just going to blindly take the credit.)

How do you feel the project is coming?

Is it obnoxious to say I’m proud of myself?

I am perpetually in shock that this is working and frankly feel like a fraudster. (I'm no stranger to impostor syndrome, but this is next level.)

That being said, a wise woman once said, "And it's fine to fake it 'til you make it / 'Til you do, 'til it's true." (She actually said it again recently, in fact.)

All right, fine, I just quoted Taylor Swift lyrics, but she was Person of the Year, catapulted her way into the top of Forbes list and last month managed to break onto Forbes Billionaire List, so I think she’s fair game for a blog about entrepreneurship, don’t you?

What are you learning about running a business?

The more I do it, the more I’m learning that it’s kind of like having a baby. There is a lot of advice that people want to give you, but ultimately you decide what’s going to work for you. You feel completely unprepared and it comes with no manual,so you just have to figure it out as you go. You are so freaking tired, but you actually love every second of it, so the lack of sleep feels a little euphoric. Short of officially registering its name (something I didn't do operating under my legal name), it’s pretty darn close in terms of experiences, in my humble opinion. 

What are you learning about yourself?

I have a few little pearls to add to the necklace, some of which are just reinforcing reminders of what I’ve been learning this entire time.

Marketing does not come naturally to me – not at all. I can read every social psychology book available (and honestly, I think I just might have), but it’s just not quite the same as doing it. I will never be the female version of Don Draper. (Wait, was Peggy the female version of Don Draper?)

I am still Type-A, even if it doesn’t always do me any good. I think that it is just entrenched in my soul and I’m okay with that. 

I am learning to recognize why limits are good. No, I might not be able to grow exponentially, but if I don’t have the capacity to handle that much in terms of operations right this moment, why would I want to? In short, I am learning how to pace myself. I have always been good at time management and project management, but learning to be better at expectation management is turning out to be a fantastic little addition for me. 

Last but not least, by the dictionary definition, I am an entrepreneur.

[j2wiki]

2019-04-15 Jared/Gen run Boston Marathon

https://twitter.com/TONiANN_ROSE/status/1117861490453831680 (video) (video2) https://twitter.com/c_martell4/status/1117819285043384325 (video)

As amazing as completing the Boston Marathon was it was pretty epic running into Sam Winchester crushing it as well!

nowandgen Boston Marathon Finish Line I always thought that running was a solo sport but little did I know it takes a village to push you across the finish line. I couldn’t have done it without my partner in crime @jaredpadalecki, awesome coach and amazing running group from @trail_roots and the support of all of you towards our cause, DreamBig!

Dream Big Facebook - Linda Driscoll Post There are absolutely no words for how inspired and proud I am of the 22 members of the 2019 Dream Big! Boston Marathon Team that all completed the cool, hot & rainy Boston Marathon!! To the runners we love you, to the families, friends and colleagues of the runners thank you so very much for your amazing support! You have all impacted the lives of thousands of girls and young women in underserved communities and for that and so much more you should be proud. Cherish this day George Stevens, Mark Williamson, Adrienne Mynatt, Madi Klonsinski, Liz O'connor, Tracy Johnson, Michelle Sage Demirjian, Catherine Grace Williamson, Vanessa Sue-Eillen, Kelly King, Hannah King, Amanda Feldman, Faryn Shiro, Danielle Marie, Ellen Sullivan Banthin, Joy Sieklucki Jared Padalecki, Genevieve Padalecki, Jenna Fisher, Antonia Kothe, Rachel Newborough, Kira Shaikh Photos from Marathon Monday!

driccio91 Stanza Dei Sigari “Gilmore Girls” and “Supernatural” star @jaredpadalecki stopped by Stanza for a celebratory cigar after running the Boston Marathon. What a great guy! banannaxox

JustJared: Jared Padalecki Runs the Boston Marathon Jared Padalecki stands out in a bright orange top while running in the 2019 Boston Marathon on Monday morning (April 15) in Boston, Mass. Both the 36-year-old Supernatural actor and his wife Genevieve are running in the marathon this year! Genevieve took to Instagram Stories in the morning said she was “scared sh-tless.” She then shared a selfie of her and Jared together and added, “At least I have this amazing sidekick by my side.” The couple is running in support of Dream Big, a 501c(3) supporting, outfitting, supplying, encouraging and providing opportunities for young girls who, due to economic circumstances, are unable to participate. You can donate to the cause now!

IMDB Jared 1286 Jensen 1072 Danneel 1088 Gen 2850

[lightning-writes]

good heart (faulty machine of a man) - 20/30

fic summary: bucky meets someone at therapy

chapter summary: Bucky visits Rue at work (alternatively: Bucky prepares for Rue to join him for Christmas)

word count: 1211

tags: post endgame, pre tfatws, slow burn, canon divergent, canon compliant, au

warnings: none

a/n: introducing a new side character! (also, get ready for part 2 very soon! happy new year folks!)

AO3 MASTERLIST X

Rue: soooo 10:23 pm

Rue: I just found out Vick is going out of town w Frank for Christmas 10:25 pm

Rue: and mikey and giselle are going out of town too 10:26 pm

Rue: so ig i’m having a solo christmas this year 10:30 pm

Bucky: I’m sorry 10:33 pm

Bucky: I’m also having a solo christmas 10:35 pm

Bucky: you could come here for christmas 10:49 pm

At the time he’d gotten the text, Bucky had been at his kitchen table, cleaning his usual gun. Now, he’s in the lamp aisle of a nearly empty store on a Friday morning. Just the thought of Rue potentially being in his space forced him to finally furnish his apartment. He’d been really unprepared coming into the store, and now, he’s even more overwhelmed than he would admit.

(When she doesn't answer in the morning, he feels… both embarrassed and disappointed. An odd and unfamiliar combination brewing. Was he overstepping by inviting her?)

An employee approaches him with a casual, “Hi, is there anything I can help you with today?” which immediately launches into an incredulous, “Wait, you’re–!” when he bothers to look at Bucky.

(He’s still not used to being recognized in public. He’s used to people knowing about him, assuming things about him, but them recognizing his face? He suddenly feels naked without his mask. Panic seizes him for a moment, freezing his thoughts and his words)

“Uh,” Bucky scratches the back of his neck, trying for a smile. Raynor would be both proud and devastated. “Yeah, but I’m just, uh… trying to shop.”

“Right, right,” his eyes are wide and buggy as he tries to compose himself, “sorry for freaking out, but an Avenger–”

Bucky looks around, “Uh, yeah, let’s not–”

“Right, right,” the employee repeats, shaking his head and his hands - like he’s getting ready to run a marathon. “Okay, sorry, sorry.” After a deep breath, he hits Bucky with a slightly less crazed smile. “Okay, so did you need help finding anything?”

(His inner Russian voice says, You’ve been compromised, Soldier, get out of there.

Bucky buries the flight response.)

“Yeah, actually… I, uh, am trying to decorate my apartment.”

“Any specific pieces or styles you’re looking for?”

Bucky and the employee, Chris, walk around the store. Bucky has the duty of pushing the cart while Chris adds items in it. He determines Bucky likes both vintage and modern styles, “leaning on the side of rustic”, to which Bucky just nods and lets Chris navigate the shopping. Chris takes the selection process very seriously, crossing his arms and judging, humming and pondering aloud, confirming with Bucky what his “space looks like” and if it “matches his vibe”.

By the time they’ve finished, Chris has a full cart too.

He rings Bucky up with his employee discount, a veteran’s discount, and free delivery for the bigger items.

While Bucky is grateful for Chris, he knows he can never show his face again in the store. He has a feeling Chris is going to tell every person he knows and meets how he’s met an Avenger.

Rue: i’d love that 2:32 pm

////

The next day, Bucky is doing research in bed when he gets a text.

Rue: hey i have to do some christmas shopping, wanna go? 7:30 am

Bucky: sure 7:39 am

Rue: wow you’re up early lol 7:48 am

Rue: meet me at waterway after work, 5pm 7:49 am

Rue: gotta clock in, see you later 7:51 am

////

“Table for one or are we waiting for the rest of the party?”

(The hostess at Waterway Brewery, a young, green-haired woman, looks eager for him to say yes, he’s dining alone. He sees the way she’s looking at him - attracted to him and trying to place where she knows him. He hides a little under his cap, feeling his face settle into a disappointed frown.)

“Actually, I’m waiting for Rue.”

The woman nearly pouts. “She has two more tables she’s waiting on. You could have a seat at the bar until she’s done.”

The hostess unnecessarily walks him over to the bar and tells the bartender to put two drinks on her tab for him. Bucky gives a tight lipped smile when she leans into him, telling him to flag her down if he needs anything. Her perfume is too heavy.

He orders a vodka shot and a beer on tap as a chaser.

From his spot at the bar, he sees Rue. She’s chatting with a table of six customers, all young men. He sees the way she keeps her interactions clipped but warm. He almost looks away until he notices it. The closest person, eyeing her legs in her skirt, leering at her a little. Bucky keeps his grip on the beer glass in check… so he doesn’t crush it. As she’s leaving with their payment, the customer grabs her ass.

Bucky’s on his feet. 

The bartender notices, follows his gaze, and says, “Stand down. She’s got this,” with a knowing look on his face. 

(Bucky’s body reacted before his brain connected to his feelings. One thought is danger. Another is protect. Amongst the frenzy of his thoughts and the impossible restraint, a secret option stays in the background: mine.)

The defensive feeling in his chest is rising, blurring his vision, nearly makes him miss Rue’s quick reflexes. 

Rue catches the young man’s hand before he can snatch it back, and she has it bent back unnaturally, one swift move away from breaking. The customer yelps, and his friends at the table are stunned into silence. Rue leans in, saying something Bucky can tell is threatening, before releasing her grip, smiling, and pivoting her way out of the situation.

She comes over to the cash register behind the bar, her brow furrowed. Her eyes are focused on her work until the bartender nudges her and nods to Bucky.

Her face splits into a relieved smile.

“Hey!” She glances at the bartender, to see if he noticed her excitement, but he’s on the other side of the bar, serving someone. “I’ll be, maybe, fifteen more minutes?”

“I have a drink to finish,” he raises his glass. He nods over to the table she just left. “Do you need any help with that?”

“Nope, it’s handled,” she chirps in a strategically neutral voice. He remembers it well, from the earlier days of their friendship. She reaches for his untouched shot and throws it back. Her whole face scrunches, and he laughs. “I’ll be quick!”

When the party of six leaves, and the other table, a family of three with a toddler, Rue hip checks him as she passes, going through the kitchen double doors. She reappears with a long burgundy coat, a scarf, and combat boots. He notices her bare legs and frowns.

(He also notices her hair in a neater ponytail and the makeup she’d touched up.)

“It’s cold out there,” he comments as Rue links arms with him, quickly ushering-slash-rushing him out the door. She gives a curt wave to the green-haired hostess before they’re pushed into the city. She takes a deep, dramatic breath of air.

“They’re tights,” she finally says, pulling at what he now sees is nude fabric on her legs and not her skin. “They’re double lined, I’m fine.”

(Not many things shock Bucky - he’s been around for more than a century - but he stares at her legs for longer than appropriate and not for sinful reasons.

Sorcery, he thinks.)

[inpursuitofunderstanding]

I'm just going to rant for a minute since I don't have the energy to go out and buy a journal to keep all of this in. It's difficult being an athlete or a very active person that has a disordered mind. I thankfully have healed from the eating disorders in my past, but the thing about eating disorders is that they're really a disorder of the mind. Some days I feel it heavier than others, and certain things can trigger it. I saw a close friend and coworker PR much faster and longer than I am currently capable of doing, and it has sent me spiraling. I made the choice not to train for the local half marathon that is coming up. There are things in my life that need more attention, and I don't have the desire to train this season. It's just so hard to see someone excel and not think that it's my body holding me back. Like I'm desiring to starve and run only on black coffee and cortisol and dissociate. It's so much easier to just check out and not live your life. To make choices that benefit you, and to choose yourself over anything else can become so hard in the face of familiarity. Running on fumes and no food is my comfort zone. Surviving only on the calories of fear sounds so friendly, because that's what I know. But I have to keep moving forward and build a life for myself that would make past me proud. I have to make her proud, because she fought so hard for what I have in this moment, I have to live in this moment. It's difficult some days, you know?

[quiverwingquack]

first kisses all the time

Every time Drake kisses Launchpad, it's a first in some way.

((AO3 link in reblogs!))

———

Drake knows Launchpad, with his bleeding heart, has loved others before him. He was never going to be LP’s first kiss, and yet every kiss feels like a first with him.

Their very first kiss at all is right after the Ramrod explosion, as soon as they have a moment alone. Launchpad is frantically checking Drake over for injuries, patching up where he was hurt, and Drake’s so touched he can’t think. He just takes Launchpad’s hands in his own and commits the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens to memory, every detail of this moment becoming a permanent part of his heart.

Not long after, they officially start going out, and they have their first kiss as a couple. It’s long and slow and they’re holding each other so tightly, as if neither one wants to ever let go again. Drake can hardly breathe, but he doesn’t care, as long as he has Launchpad in his arms.

They have a first I’m-so-glad-you’re-alive sort of kiss, a desperate but quick one after a mission gone wrong. Drake forgets what he was doing as their beaks part, looking into Launchpad’s eyes as they pull away. The reassurance he finds in that gaze is all he needs to know everything will be okay.

(There are plenty more kisses like this, later, full of equal parts relief and adrenaline. Each is a first in its own right.)

There’s a tender, slow kiss during a Darkwing marathon, all superhero stuff forgotten in lieu of being held and feeling loved. It’s the softest thing Drake’s ever felt, and he kisses Launchpad over and over to feel it again. Launchpad kisses him right back, gentle as can be.

Their first kiss in front of Gos is nothing more than LP pecking him on the cheek, and she rolls her eyes and makes a face, but Drake feels surrounded by love anyway. He never quite knows how he got lucky enough to have the two of them in his life.

After they defeat FOWL, they have a first I’m-so-proud-of-you kiss, despite the fact Launchpad is still wearing the Gizmosuit and there’s probably half a dozen people watching. He doesn’t quite care—his boyfriend just saved the day, he’s never been more in love—and leans up on his tiptoes to kiss LP. Fenton’s girlfriend teases him for it, later, but the smile LP gives him in the moment makes it worthwhile.

(There are more of the I’m-proud-of-you kisses later too, as LP becomes a superhero alongside him, and each one is special too.)

Their first kiss in the rain is on a picnic date cut short, and Drake’s freezing, but LP’s fingers brush through his cheek feathers and he forgets the weather. All that matters is the way they’re leaning into each other, hearts racing, before laughing and sprinting for shelter together.

Drake gives LP a first good-morning kiss when his partner sleeps in after a long night of patrol. Their bedroom is warm, and full of golden sunlight. He kisses Launchpad’s forehead gently, and watches his partner blink awake with the softest smile.

They have a first kiss on the beach, standing at the edge of the water and letting it roll over their feet. There’s a beautiful breeze whirling through the air, and LP’s red hair is dancing in it. Drake’s practically speechless, looking—Gosalyn shatters the moment by splashing them both from further in the water. LP laughs, and chases her into the waves to splash her back. Drake watches them go for a moment, falling in love all over again, and then runs into the ocean too.

The first time LP returns from a long adventure, they have an I-missed-you kiss, Drake waiting up at the McDucks’ hangar til almost three am to greet him. He has to keep himself from crying, wrapping his arms around LP’s shoulders and pulling him close. He smells of smoke and jet fuel, just like always, and Drake wills this kiss to say what he can’t about how much he missed his other half.

There’s the first kiss around LP’s family at a summer party. The smell of barbecue smoke and pool water fills the air, and Launchpad’s talking to a group of people Drake barely knows, so it’s everything but romantic. Still, when he kisses Drake’s cheek proudly as he talks about living in St. Canard, Drake feels as though his heart might burst.

Once, while Drake’s in the middle of his nightly cosmetic routine, LP kisses the back of his hand. Drake’s face is halfway covered with all sorts of goop because he wants to look handsome, but LP grins at him in a goofy, loving sort of way, and he feels more handsome than he ever has before.

They have a first autumn kiss on an afternoon walk through the park. The smell of pumpkin and cinnamon clings to his scarf for weeks, and he cherishes the thought of looking up at Launchpad with the red and orange leaves behind him.

The first goodnight kiss is sweet and sleepy, and Launchpad’s eyes are closed, but he murmurs an “I love you” anyway. Drake watches him drift off before falling asleep himself, and thinks that if every day could end like this, he wouldn’t care what happens during them.

They have a first holiday kiss at New Years, standing in the snow watching fireworks, full of hope for the future. Not long after there’s a first kiss while sick, when LP gently kisses Drake’s forehead to check for a fever. (Drake only half-regrets not wearing something warmer in the snow, feeling so warm and loved with LP tending to him afterward.)

They share a first kiss in the kitchen, warm and sweet. Drake’s trying to bake brownies and Launchpad keeps trying to steal one, so eventually Drake just kisses him in a hope that’ll distract him. Instead, the kiss tastes like chocolate, and even though Drake loves him, he’s frustrated by the knowledge he’s gotten past the great Darkwing Duck.

There’s a spectacular first kiss after they find out they’re officially dads, and LP lifts him off the ground and spins him for that one. It’s breathless and exciting and they really get to call her their daughter, and the kiss is only his second-favorite part of that day. Nothing can really top the way Gos’s green eyes go wide, just before she falls into their arms for a hug.

After their first patrol as a family—a family at last—Gos’s knees are all scraped up and LP kisses them better playfully as he bandages them up. Later, when Drake finds out LP’s knuckles are bruised and banged-up, he tasks himself with patching them up and gives his pilot partner a first kiss-it-better.

There’s a first kiss after a nightmare(Launchpad’s) and a panic attack(Drake’s), a first teary-eyed kiss when LP admits he’s scared Drake might leave him, and a first anxious kiss when Drake reveals he doesn’t think he’s ever enough. They all end in the same way, comforting and soft and together, no matter what.

But Drake’s favorite first is at their wedding. He’s wearing a suit with a cape, and Launchpad’s in the prettiest dress either of them have ever seen. The whole mansion is decked out in purple and gold, hints of teal here and there, and they’re surrounded by friends and family.

Drake and Launchpad have their first kiss as husbands, and everything is perfect.

[yakultii]

idk what happened to the chain but imma do this v belated anyway bc i love talking ab my boring self also @yakultstan was tagged but imma do it here lol

1. Are you named after anyone? my first name.. nope..my dad named me and I hate my name. It doesn’t suit me at all.. my middle name however is named cause it’s the same as my mum’s middle name and every other white bitch in the country.. it’s also the same name as my dad’s biological mother who we don’t speak of and they made it very clear that I was not named after her LOL.

2. When was the last time you cried?maybe a week or two ago.. my emotions are hella unregulated so I randomly cry watching A Norris Nuts YouTube video but can’t ever cry over personal trauma or wanting to die.. I think it would be healthy for me to cry every day if I could and would save me a lot of trouble caused by terrible coping mechanisms.

3. Do you have kids? Nope. Kinda scary to think my mum had 3 kids by my current age… and look how they each turned out(not good).. I think it would be morally irresponsible for me to have kids who share my DNA at this point but if I make it to my future.. who knows what path I go down.

4. What sports do you/have you played?: mostly athletics as a kid (sprinting and long jump at competitive level) and as I got older different distances in running (did my first half marathon when I was 15) but honestly now just surviving feels like an elite sport :,)

5. Do you use sarcasm? All the time especially a lot more when I was younger though cause in recent years I’ve kinda stopped as I keep offending people.. only due to the fact that when I am being sarcastic I sound serious and when I am being serious I sound sarcastic rip. Nah I’m sure I still use it a lot.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about somebody? Usually either their outfit if it slays so hard or their facial structure/facial expression

7. Eye colour? Controversial (apparently) but my eye colour genuinely changes dramatically in the light. Sometimes people tell me my eye are bright blue, sometimes people tell me they are green, sometimes they tell me they are a mix of both and quite often people tell me they are grey !!!! I’ve also had someone think they were hazel which is kinda wild and a one off but that person hadn’t seen me irl.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings. I’m kinda boring but real life gives me enough anxiety I’m not going to willingly put myself through more.

9. Any talents? Literally none. well maybe my ability to pull off top marks on all my academic essays having written them all the night before but I’m not proud of it. Nothing too exceptional though.. I can juggle? No I’m actually really talented at still being alive when so many past circumstances should have resulted in death!

10. Where were you born? A small country town in the state of Victoria, Australia.

11. Hobbies? bed rotting for all but approx 2 hrs everyday(not proud of it), writing shit amateur poetry on @yakultstan going for walks in nature sometimes, eating food, studying? planning trips and travelling but not so much recently. idk I’m barely a person these days :,)

12. Any pets? Yesss my Yellow Labrador named Flume and my black cat named Angel (she’s literally like 16yrs old and still acts like a bby) but sadly they live at my family home 4hrs away from where I live :( we also have many other pets like chickens, goats, more dogs, more cats etc that aren’t mine. Sadly none where I currently live in the city other than the growing mould in my apartment :)

13. Height? 160cm/5’3ish (shorter than everyone expects)

14. Favourite subject? It was English by far in school and we also had a social justice class I loved back in the day but in university sociology for sure and a little bit of philosophy

15. Dream job? I don’t dream of working. in saying that if I was in good health there are a million things younger me dreamed of doing..teacher, journalist, social worker, outdoor education leader, international aid worker,author - the list goes on forever but I won’t continue or I’ll make myself sad.

Tagging ppl but only do if u want ofc <3

@hela-fortia @sfsolstice @manicmoonbug @user-terminal

(get to know me tag)

lets goooo

1. Are you named after anyone? Funnily enough, on my father's side, we had this tradition where all our initials are identical. But no, I wasn't named after anyone in particular.

2. When was the last time you cried? It's been a while tbh. Think it was a month or two back? Life be hittin sometimes.

3. Do you have kids? No I don't and I never really planned on it.

4. What sports do you/have you played? I used to stay after school and play basketball with my friends but I was so bad. I did do Muay Thai as well but only for a short while and I'd love to get back into that.

5. Do you use sarcasm? Oh most definitely. Love sarcasm.

6. What's the first thing you notice about somebody? Energy, energy, energy.

7. Eye color? A very dark brown.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings for sure. I really like neutral endings too.

9. Any talents? I'd say my creativity. I pour a lot out and love to express myself through EVERYTHING. Safe to say I'm kind of a perfectionist because of it.

10. Where were you born? Good ol' Virginia, USA.

11. Hobbies? Words, music, art, that kind of thing. There's a guy on youtube named ghowste who makes the best beats to freestyle to.

12. Any pets? Not anymore. Never had my own pet, just pets that were always passed down to me because their owner didn't want them anymore.

13. Height? I'm 5'7ish.

14. Favorite subject? English. Psychology was fun too.

15. Dream job? Honestly this changes for me a lot. I really wanted to be a Banquet Chef at the Smithsonian in DC but I gave up my cooking career. I did make it to the Fine Arts Museum here in Virginia before I quit which was amazing. If I had to pick a new one though it'd probably have something to do with communication and therapy. I'm bad as hell at communicating but I've been told I give great advice.

Thank you for tagging me @ivaspinoza. It was fun :)

I don't know many tumblr folks so I'm just tagging a few accounts I saw in my notifs, no pressure ofc

@toxifoxx @fuuuckimhi @skimbradsteen @zelphafrost @yakultstan @babalobobo @real-dooozy

[andraaste]

I am not your enemy - Lance fanfiction part 17

This is finally chapter 17 ! I'm so sorry for the wait and hope you enjoy it !! Good summer to all of you 🌴🐉

Chapter 17 : I’ll personally take care of making him understand that you belong to me

- Ophelia !

I opened my eyes sharply.

Stretched out full length on the mattress, my back sticking unpleasantly to the fabric of my top, I stared at the black ceiling to come to my senses, my jerky breathing breaking the serene silence of the night.

What the hell was going on ?

My heart rate pounding wildly, I felt like I had run a marathon as my chest heaved with frenzy as the images of this incomprehensible dream circled in my head.

Spear.

It was him, I was sure. I had seen him, his face so young, evolving through different scenes from his past. Seeing him like that had confused me. Proud, playful, oblivious to his surroundings, he was a whole different person from the one I knew now. But ... I had also known him that way. Strange as it may sound, Lance had been my first support when I arrived at HQ. The rest of the story was unfortunately only inglorious.

Especially when I thought back to my buried feelings.

Except that this dream, was it really one ? The little girl had conjured up the deepest memories of the last of the dragons, but what did that mean ? And above all, why ?

My gaze was caught by something that seemed to escape my parted lips. My eyes widened, I watched in amazement as tiny ice crystals smeared the air around the edge of my mouth. When I realized what this implied, my breathing quickened again and very soon, I thought I recognized the light cold breath that the dragon had made me experience a few days earlier.

No, it wasn’t possible.

I shouldn't be able to develop Lance's powers without his presence ... right ?

Straightening up on my bed, I was leaning on my right arm when a strange sensation took hold of me. Slowly lifting my sleeve over my shoulder, I was speechless when I saw the dragon's familiar icy welts as he let them roam my body. Except that for that, we had always needed a physical contact, it was the very reason which had made us discover this phenomenon.

Fascinated, I let my fingers run over the thin blue lines that cornered my skin. I had the strange sensation of feeling him brush against my arm.

My hand immediately tightened on my flesh when something came back to me.

That night, when I had been in his memories, if that had really been the case, Lance and I had brushed against each other in the Crystal Room. By the time our arms had made contact, I was sure the young man had reacted, seeming to be looking for me without actually being able to see me.

But how could he have felt me ​​physically if what I had seen were memories, moreover of which I wasn’t a part ? Raising my arm to my face, I felt the adrenaline slow down. I had to leave these questions hanging.

At least until daybreak.

*

As soon as the sun shines, I got up to take a shower, hoping to chase away even a few moments the images of those dreams that had haunted me all the rest of the night. I finally didn’t manage to fall asleep again and it was with more than deep circles that I headed for the shared showers.

As soon as I left my room, I was surprised to find a very early-morning Nevra who was also visibly leaving his den, his door being a few meters away from mine.

When he saw me, the vampire raised his eyebrows in surprise before giving me a slight mocking smile.

- I know one who didn't sleep very well.

Great. I rubbed a hand over my tired eyes, hoping to regain my composure.

- Not so much, indeed. Is it showing that much ?

- Well, not that you look less in shape than usual, that would be complicated, but you seem rather tired yes, he said to me without being able to hold back a laugh at my annoyed expression. But you still look very pretty, don't worry.

Already ready to give him a bloody answer, his last sentence stopped me in my tracks. Damn but what an idiot, why did I feel my cheeks blush ?

Locking my door, I remained resolutely turned towards the wooden door in order to hide my dismay.

- I see that I can count on you to reassure me, in any case, I say while feigning indifference.

I heard his laughter echo between us once again.

- You know I'm a trustworthy person.

Without realizing it, I began to smile in turn. I loved the rare moments in which he forgot his cold mask of the right arm of the Sparkling.

- By the way ... he began, his gaze suddenly fleeing, seeming to hesitate on how he was going to phrase the rest. Have you been better since the other night ? I worried a lot, I didn't understand what happened. Eweleïn only told me that she already knew about it and that she was monitoring your condition closely.

- Oh, yes ... I'm so sorry for what happened and I hope I didn't cause you too much trouble. But I think I’ve nothing left. I wanted to thank you for taking care of me, I don't know what ...

- Don't talk nonsense, he cut me off. Maybe I was stupid to you, but I certainly wasn't going to leave you like this.

Running a hand through his hair, I saw concern grow on his face, so often marble.

- And I don't want to sound intrusive, but you'll have to explain to me what happened. I’ve never seen anything like it happen.

His eye, similar in color to mine, observed me so intently that I couldn't bring myself to lie to him.

- Okay, I'll explain it to you, I whispered. Just give me a little time.

- Good, he smiles at me before recovering quickly. With all this, I was almost going to fail in my task. Huang Hua would like you to attend the next Sparkling meeting.

I stared at him for several seconds, not knowing how to react.

- Huang Hua wants to send me on a mission ?

His lips twitched slightly.

- I can’t tell you more at the moment, but I don’t hide from you that it doesn’t enchant me very much considering what happened to you the last time we saw each other.

- Nevra…

I no longer knew on which foot to dance with him. Since our discussion, I had the impression that a lot of things had changed between us but I didn’t know how to perceive them.

- The meeting will take place in an hour in the Council room, don't be late.

The vampire dismissed me without giving me time to answer anything.

Excited at the prospect of potentially taking part in a future mission, I showered in fourth gear, almost forgetting what had happened that night. But it was the lump in my stomach that I knocked on the front door that I had only borrowed a few times.

Opening the door cautiously, I entered the majestic room. I could not restrain my gaze from browsing the large tree which stood proudly between these walls, the immense window which overlooked the gardens of the HQ or the immense prostrate table in the center of the room. I hadn’t often had the opportunity to enter here, but each time I was amazed by what was hiding there.

It was mind blowing.

It was only after my little inspection of the premises that I became aware of the people already here. Facing the large window, Huang Hua stood erect, arms crossed, staring into space. Her tanned skin bathed in natural light caught my gaze of admiration as her fine features turned to me as I reached the bottom of the stairs. Her warm gaze relaxed me immediately.

- Andraste, there you are ! she said to me with a smile of genuine astonishment. Unfortunately I haven't had the opportunity to see you lately, how are you ? I’ve been kept informed of your condition…

I stood stunned for a few seconds at the warmth and sincerity I could read in her at that moment. Since when hadn't I seen her like that ?

- It's going much better, thank you. If that's any reassurance, my back seems perfectly healed. Well, for now, I added with a wry laugh.

Until my wings decide once again to do what they want, I hear.

- You see me delighted, I hope we can discuss a little more calmly later, you and me.

Pointing me to the seats, she added :

- Please sit down.

Let my gaze slide over the people seated in front of the huge table. Surprisingly, I recognized Leiftan, Mathieu and Koori very close to me. I wasn't the only guest, which relieved me. I also like almost all of the Sparkling members.

All except two of them, who were visibly missing.

Pulling the first seat I could find, I settled myself between the kitsune and Chrome. The big wolf smile fills my whole field of vision.

- Hi Andraste! You're going to attend your first Sparkling reunion, I'm super happy, he said while pointing out his canines.

My smile widens automatically in the face of his good humor.

- Hi Chrome, I'm happy too ! But still a little stressed, I won't hide it from you.

- Don't worry, everything will be fine.

The large door opened again, letting in the two missing limbs. My heart raced even more when the two men sat down in front of me.

- Perfect. Lance, Nevra, we were just waiting for you to begin, Huang Hua announced. As you know, several strange phenomena have occurred in recent months, the barrier between Earth and Eldarya has never been thinner. Several people have reported to us the sudden appearance of a building in the middle of the lands of Genkaku.

Without understanding why, I felt Koori tense up at hearing that name.

- Andraste, Nevra told me about an important point.

The vampire spoke in turn.

- Seven years ago, you told me about very tall human buildings in which people lived or worked. Heum...

- Are you talking about buildings ? I stopped him. Are you saying that a building has appeared on Eldarya ?

I couldn't believe my ears, it wasn't possible. How could a building have landed here ? What if people were inside ?

Mathieu and I gave each other a horrified look. It really didn't bode well.

- Exactly, he concluded. Nothing like this has ever been reported between our two worlds but we have to make sure that it’s indeed a human building. That's why we would need Mathieu and you to go there. Obviously, you’ll be accompanied by other members of the Guard.

Turning to the kitsune, Nevra added :

- Koori, we’ll also need your presence. You’re the only one here who knows the lands of Genkaku.

- Yes, I understand. You can count on me...

The face of the leader of the Sparkling clouded with a compassionate expression.

- I'm sorry to ask you this, I know it won't be easy for you, but we can only count on your presence to guide them in these lands.

- I know Huang Hua. There’s no problem, I’ll accompany you.

- As far as Tenjin is concerned, we'll have to be careful, Lance continued. He’s bound to learn for our coming and we will probably not be welcome.

When the dragon spoke, everyone seemed to be listening to him with some form of respect. I was fascinated by the presence that saw him unconsciously.

It had been two days since the dragon and I had seen each other, the latter being too busy with the upcoming mission departure and his duties as Chief of the Guard. I hadn't had a chance to tell him about my dream, and actually didn't even know whether to tell him about it or not. Knowing him here made me nervous and hearing his voice made my stomach contract. The last time we saw each other was in his bed…

Red rose to my cheeks once again when his gaze brushed mine. I couldn't tear myself away from him for several seconds.

- Lance is right, Tenjin is our main obstacle to getting to the kitsune lands of Genkaku, the vampire said. He's unstable and is very likely to come after us when he sees Koori. That’s why I’m accompanying you as well. It’s rare that we send multiple Guard Chiefs, but this mission’s likely to be more perilous than the usual ones.

Turning to the aengel in his turn, he added, his face suddenly darker :

- I hope we can count on you. You are an outstanding navigator and your abilities have been proven to us more than once. Finally, if you want to stop your « redemption ».

Leiftan clenched his teeth at this last remark, the tension was most palpable between the two men.

- Nevra, we already talked about this. If you have things to settle with Leiftan, it’ll be within the framework of the private one, said Huang Hua.

- You can count on my presence, but I’ll not use my powers, it’s my only condition.

Nevra was about to reply when the fenghuang stopped him with a wave of her hand.

- Perfect, if everyone agrees, the team for this mission will therefore consist of Nevra, Lance, Koori, Mathieu, Leiftan and Andraste. An objection ?

- None, replied Huang Chu. I hope you’ll come back with some new human study topics, that's all I'm asking.

When the meeting is over, the assembly leaves the room in turn. As I was about to climb the stairs to the exit, the delicate and warm hand of the ancient phoenix grabbed my wrist.

- Andraste, can I talk to you for a moment ?

I nodded while stopping my run.

- Eweleïn kept me informed of your physical and mental state. Do you feel like doing this mission ?

- I think so. To tell the truth, I start to circle around the HQ aimlessly. It’ll do me good to feel really useful and to change horizons, even though I know it won't be easy and even dangerous. I’ve practiced a lot and I manage to reuse my powers a bit, not like before, but they are there. Perhaps, in case of real necessity, they will manifest themselves normally. At least I hope so.

A soft smile lit up her face.

- Very well, I count on you to take care of you and to come back to us safe and sound. Unfortunately, Mathieu and you are the only people able to tell us more about this building, I’ve no choice but to send you there with your agreement, of course.

Plunging into her reassuring gaze, I had the fleeting impression of finding the Huang Hua that I knew.

- There’s nothing to worry about. Anyway, I'll be well surrounded, I’ve nothing to fear, I said with a smile.

As I closed the door to the Council Chamber behind me, I lost myself in thoughts of this last exchange. Huang Hua confused me without knowing why. Lifting my head, I fell on Lance who seemed to have been waiting for me. With his arms crossed, he pulled himself away from the wall he was leaning against to walk slowly towards me.

- You're not going to be able to get to Genkaku like that.

Puzzled, I raised an eyebrow.

- Can you light my lantern ?

As he approached dangerously, my whole body tensed in anticipation of what he planned to do. I was no longer in control of myself in his presence and that irritated me.

Unexpectedly, he grabbed my arm firmly and turned me around to rest my back against his chest. His lips caressed my ear in his deep voice.

- You are not sufficiently trained in combat and you are far too pretty for Tenjin not to try to keep you to himself. I don’t like it.

- And how do you plan to fix it ? I questioned him, my breath suddenly more choppy.

- Since I can't force you to stay at the HQ, I think I'll have to train you for combat. I'm going to be pretty busy, but I'll find time for your training.

Slowly letting go of my arm, he added :

- For the rest, I’ll personally take care of making him understand that you belong to me.

(Chapter 18)

[thechanelmuse]

TW: rape

‘I May Destroy You,’ Michaela Coel’s gimlet-eyed exploration of trauma and its myriad ripple effects follows Arabella (Coel) — a funny, messy, sharp-as-hell London writer — after a dizzying night in which she’s drugged and raped by a stranger. At first, she dismisses the hazy memory as just an upsetting image in her head. Soon enough, though, Arabella reluctantly comes to understand it as the truth, and tries to work through that horrifying reality without coming apart. [...]

Not every part of Arabella has a direct line to Coel, but the series’ catalyzing experience, unfortunately, does. In 2016, Coel took a break from a marathon writing session for the second season of “Chewing Gum” to grab a drink with a friend, and was drugged and assaulted by a stranger. She’s been sifting through the emotional wreckage ever since to find some kind of clarity, if not peace. Now, with “I May Destroy You,” she’s doing it for all the world to see. “As a fellow android exploring what it means to be human,” says Coel’s friend Janelle Monáe, “watching Michaela be vulnerable on-screen as she walks in her truth gives me and so many the bravery to walk in ours.” [...]

Coel began writing “I May Destroy You” in February 2017, in between acting in TV projects like the “USS Callister” episode of “Black Mirror” and Netflix’s limited series “Black Earth Rising.” She took solo mountain trips and wrote draft after draft of what would eventually become “I May Destroy You,” spilling her stories and tangled guts onto the page, rearranging them into shapes she could better recognize. In August 2018, she spoke about her trauma publicly while delivering the Edinburgh International Television Festival’s James MacTaggart Memorial Lecture, a prestigious assignment the festival has otherwise bestowed on a cadre of white British television mainstays (as well as no fewer than three Murdochs). 

The majority of Coel’s speech, delivered to a room of the U.K.’s most powerful entertainment brokers, traced the constant racism and classism she endured on the way to that Edinburgh stage — a theme subtextually underlined by the fact that Coel was, and remains, the only Black woman to have that platform. She spoke about turning her solo play “Chewing Gum Dreams” into a “Chewing Gum” TV series (which aired 2015-17 on the U.K.’s Channel 4), a transformative time that taught her the technicalities of making television and confirmed just how disinclined certain white gatekeepers are to trust a poorer Black woman’s vision. Toward the end of the 50-minute lecture, Coel revealed her assault and elucidated the industry’s inability — or unwillingness — to handle such a human emergency when pages are due. As for her recovery, she said, “It’s been therapeutic to write about it, and actively twist a narrative of pain into something with more hope, and even humor.”

When it finally came time to translate it all to the screen, “I May Destroy You” was so close to her bruised heart that Coel took on the challenge of playing several roles throughout the series’ development: creator, writer, actor, producer, director. Netflix offered her a total fee of a cool $1 million to make and star in the show, but the proposed contract wouldn’t grant Coel even a tiny percentage of the rights. She hadn’t fully realized how much claiming legal proprietorship over her work mattered to her until the prospect of not being able to emerged, at which point it became crucial. 

Then, after some Googling, she realized that her CAA agents would also be profiting from the deal via the endangered practice of packaging. Stung and surprised, Coel walked away from both her agents and the offer. “I’m not anti-Netflix,” she’s quick to say now, “but I am pro-‘the creator, writer, director, actor should probably have a right.’” She’s hyper-aware of how much this project required of her, and how comparatively little granting her “a right” might cost a powerful network like Netflix. “That’s not quite fair, is it?” Coel muses. Creating the show, after all, took almost everything she had.

With the BBC, a million-dollar paycheck might not have been in the cards, but more important to Coel, she didn’t have to fight half as hard to claim ownership. (As a matter of industry course, it’s far more common for British studios to afford creators rights to their work than it is for American equivalents.) They struck a deal, and Coel got to work.[...]

“When you’re restricted,” she explains, “sometimes that’s where you find great things: in the lack of possibility.” She attributes this rather Zen approach to Hugo Blick, the “Black Earth Rising” showrunner who showed her the value of keeping a cool, empathetic head on set. Blick’s ability to step away from a gnarly situation for even 30 calming seconds is one that Coel has worked to hone for herself, especially while steering a series with such fraught ties to her history. No matter how sideways things might go, she never wants to forget just how much she loves the collaborative act of building a television show, wild complications and all. 

Read more

From Forbes:

I May Destroy You’s Michaela Coel Rejected Netflix’s $1 Million Offer In Favor Of The BBC Because Of Ownership

The creative, who stars as Arabella and wrote all 12 episodes, started pitching the programme in the spring of 2017 with one of her first ports of call being Netflix who picked up her prior series Chewing Gum.

Though Netflix offered a generous upfront fee of $1 million (£800,000), the sum had strings attached, including full rights ownership away from the creator, something Coel pushed back against. Coel recalls a moment during the interview where she is speaking with a Netflix development executive on the phone, asking if she could retain even a very small 0.5% of the copyright to her show.

“There was just silence on the phone. And she said, ‘It’s not how we do things here. Nobody does that, it’s not a big deal,’” Coel recollected. “I said, ‘If it’s not a big deal, then I’d really like to have 5 % of my rights,’” Coel added, stating that she even went down to 2%, and then 1% and even as a final compromise to 0.5%.

Coel remembers that the executive said she would have to run it passed her superiors, before adding, “‘Michaela? I just want you to know I’m really proud of you. You’re doing the right thing.'”

“I remember thinking, I’ve been going down rabbit holes in my head, like people thinking I’m paranoid, I’m acting sketchy, I’m killing off all my agents,” Coel says. “And then she said those words to me, and I finally realized — I’m not crazy. This is crazy.”

Coel discovered her agents, Creative Artists Agency (CAA) were set to make an undisclosed amount from the series if she took the deal with Netflix. She reveals that the agency pushed her to take the deal prior to her finding out and their subsequent dismissal as her U.S. representation.

Taking the project to British broadcaster the BBC later in 2017, Coel found the corporation to be supportive with her maintaining creative control even with the explicit depictions of sex, sexual assault and drug use. Plus, as the broadcaster had to adhere to terms of trade, Coel had no problem with retaining the rights also. The broadcaster also brought HBO to the table as another co-producer to help subsidise a portion of the budget.

Read more

This isn’t about just “knowing your worth;” it’s about knowing the business (your business) and never settling just to secure “something.” A million dollar offer, no copyright ownership and no creative control is beyond disrespectful. Learn the business in whatever field you’re in and stay acclimated with jargon and new, current and old practices. Know your shit. 

It’s like when people say “Get a lawyer” to handle negotiations and look over your paperwork. You pay a lawyer to do a job, but it does not mean you should be oblivious to aspects of law and contract jargon among other things because “that’s what they’re there to do.” You can’t say someone (sometimes lawyers included) screwed you over after you’ve signed the dotted line. They’re protecting and looking out for themselves. Commit to do the same for yourself.