#<- recommend you read the fics... series is soon over!!

[gutfaced]

28 and 37 for the ask game? (and happy birthday!!!!)

Which fic is closest to your heart? — i honestly want to say mother, because cassia means a lot to me and the way her life goes is very tragic. she's undermined by her mother in favor of her sister, and undermined by her husband in favor of an uprising. her mothering is a thankless job if not for the happiness her boys do bring her. she's so loving and so selfless in so many ways and still gets the brunt of misery.

Pick one of your fics and share three songs to go with it — wound in the armor, with respective songs: hound dog, big mama thorton // layla, derrick & the dominos // who's sorry now, connie francis.

if you read the fic, i think you'll understand the choice of lyrics. the first song about cassia's refusal to defend hasil throughout his endeavours. the second being hasil's bargaining in response. and finally, cassia accepting his death and allowing herself to avoid mourning.

[shellshocklove]

ridin' shotgun | joel miller

pairing/AU: joel miller x female!reader – post breakout & no ellie AU

summary: as the snow covers the land, joel starts to like his new life on the farm, but is it too good to be true?

warnings: this is an 18+ fic so mdni!!! canon-typical violence, age gap (reader is mid to late twenties), swearing, guns, vomit, use of pet names, fluff, angst, fingering, oral (f receiving), some tags are left out to avoid spoilers, no use of y/n

a/n: this is the second part to this. so i'd recommend reading that before this one. i'm very sorry this took me so long! i'm hoping it was worth the wait! <3 also a big thank you to @dustydaddyyy who's always up for helping me when i'm stuck <3 happy reading!

main masterlist / series masterlist / ao3 / playlist

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 this account stands with palestine. the creator of tlou is a zionist, and the second game is largly based on israel/palestine. please, everyone who interacts, educate yourself about the genocide happening right now, and support/donate.

“Morning, Joel,” Arthur greeted him as Joel entered the kitchen.

Joel felt far from rested. His eyes burned with sleep behind his eyelids. He’d love another hour or two on his pillow, but Arthur’s heavy steps coming down the stairs had woken him.

Damn, these thin walls.

“Mornin’,” Joel said as he sat down at the dining table, looking past the curtain on the portrait of the day. The world was blue with dusk, contrasting the low candlelight inside. Alma stood at the stove, butter crackling in the frying pan as she cracked an egg, then another, two suns in a greasy night sky.

“I think we’ll bring the logging sled today,” Arthur spoke up and gestured out the window, “I think the snow is more than deep enough for the sled.”

“Yeah?” Joel looked out the window again. Assessing the snow, he guessed it was about two feet give or take.

“Yeah, I think it’s gonna be enough– If not we’ll test-drive the sled, make sure it can handle the weight.” Arthur continued, but Joel lost interest as soon as he heard the sound of a door shutting down the hall.

Joel hummed, leaning back in his chair, his eyes flickering to the door of the kitchen waiting to see you walk through. A moment later, you padded into the kitchen in your pajamas, feet clad in soft wool socks. You’d thrown a sweater over your sleep shirt, but Joel remembered how the thin fabric had clung to your skin last night. Remembered the shape of your nipples poking through, the sounds you’d made as you’d whimpered his name. Joel’s cock twitched in his pants at the memory; crashing against the wave of shame and guilt that washed over him when he recalled what he’d done after he’d stepped back into his room.

“Good morning, sweetie,” Arthur greeted you as you sat down, opposite Joel.

“Good morning,” you smiled, resting your chin in the palm of your hand, tiredness like a faraway look across your face.

“Did you sleep well?” Arthur asked.

Your eyes widened at the question, quickly flickering to Joel before they found the table. Your face dug deeper into your hand as you twisted slightly in your chair. A shy smile blossomed across your face.

Huh.

A forgotten tickling feeling of pride filled Joel’s chest as he watched you. The way you avoided his gaze, like your dreams would show through your eyes if you did. But Joel didn’t need to hold your gaze to understand. Something had shifted, both for him and for you. It was different now.

A chuckle escaped Arthur at your motions, “That good, huh?” Arthur teased, “All fairytales and rainbows?”

“Something like that,” you breathed out a chuckle.

Joel cringed. He was closer to a nightmare. Why did he even entertain his thoughts of you? You were the one who was a rainbow, while he’d paint you in a dull grayscale.

Joel let out an inaudible sight, and leaned back in the creaky kitchen chair, as his hands twisted in his lap. He didn’t miss the way his movement caught your eye as he felt the drumroll of your gaze break over him. Joel didn’t dare move, scared he’d scare the warmth of your attention away. But something pulled at his chest, and he couldn’t deny himself to look at you, to drink in your early morning shyness. You didn’t look away this time, instead you smiled. It was a small and polite smile, but it still felt like a kiss to his skin. The small moment between you only lasted a second, but to Joel it felt like an eternity – one he wouldn’t mind spending with you.

You dropped your gaze when Alma placed the breadbasket on the table, and like it had broken a spell, you immediately stood to your feet, “Let me help you, Alma.”

A moment later the table was set and ready, and Arthur was already helping himself to a fried egg. Safe for the sound of cutlery against porcelain plates, a silence fell over the kitchen.

“We uh,” Arthur started, looking over at you, “We were thinking of using the logging sled today,” he informed with a dig into his eggs. “'Could use your help saddling up the horse.”

“Okay,” you nodded, reaching across the table for the butter, “but I need to milk the cows first– you know how they get if I don’t do it first thing–”

“I can do that, sweetie,” Alma interrupted you with a smile, taking a bite of her bread.

“Oh, okay,” you turned your head to Alma as you said it, giving her a smile, but Joel could see the worry behind it. “But if it’s too much I’ll be right there–”

Alma cut you off again, “I can handle it– I did this all by myself before you came along, you know.” She said it with a wink to put you at ease, but Joel saw how your teeth dug into your bottom lip, and he wanted nothing more than to ease it away with a kiss.

No. No kiss.

Shit.

After last night, Joel couldn’t think straight. He wanted you now. He wanted what he knew he couldn’t have– what he shouldn’t have. With his eyes boring down into his plate, he tried to will his wants away. Tried his best to not build memories on things not yet said – to not feel the ache of never having touched you.

The air nipped harshly at Joel’s cheeks. The sun had finally risen over the mountain, shining its light over the crystals in the snow. A thousand diamonds blinked at him as he helped Arthur pull the log sled out of the barn. It was covered in dust and dirt, and the cobwebs stuck to Joel’s mittens like cling film. Clapping his hands, a cloud of dust evaporated from his hands – almost cartoon-like.

Joel picked at the yarn, trying to cover the hole that had become wider and wider every day. He felt bad about it; you’d made them for him out of the goodness of your heart, and now he’d ruined them– or the work had. Sharp branches had hooked themselves through the stiches, and the rough bark had worn the yarn down.

As Arthur checked the sled, and got it ready, Joel felt himself drawn to the open stable door. Leaning against the barn door he watched you quietly. You worked with practiced hands, saddling the old workhorse, Ingydar, as you talked to it in a low voice.

“You’re going to work in the woods today,” you said to the beloved nag, “Work in the woods with Arthur and Joel. Do you remember Joel? He’s a nice man, isn’t he?”

Joel felt his cheeks warm at your words, his eyes falling to the worn wood floor, as he continued to listen to your little conversation.

“Yes, he is! He’s very nice– fed you too many carrots last time he said hello, didn’t he? But you liked that, didn’t you?”

Joel looked up at that, his eyes locking with yours’ as you looked straight at him, a teasing smirk covering your face.

“That ain’t how I remember it,” Joel defended, stepping closer to the open stall door. You tightened the straps on the saddle while your smile grew larger at his words.

“No?” You teased, moving on to checking the straps on the bridle.

Joel stepped closer, his mitten clad hand coming up to pet the old horse. “No,” Joel shook his head, “you kept handin’ me all those carrots ‘s how I remember it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you laughed, stepping closer.

“Sure, you don’t,” Joel teased, a rare smile tugging at his lips, matching your own.

Locking eyes with you again, Joel felt something light bubble under the surface of his ribcage. You really were beautiful like this – eyes sparkling and smile wide. He couldn’t remember the last time someone looked at him the way you were right now – like he hadn’t lost everything, like he didn’t have blood all over his hands, like he was worthy of a smile.

Stepping even closer, you noticed the holes in them. “Joel, your mittens.”

“Sorry…” he started, trailing off when you grabbed his hands, “They get hooked in the branches ‘nd–”

“Don’t apologize,” you cut him off, with a shake of your head, “I can fix them– it’s no problem.”

The sun shone through a small window in the back wall of the stall. Bright white light lit up the back of your head, crowning you in the morning. You stood so close now, the warmth of your finger brushing over his rough skin through the hole, and his hands suddenly felt heavy in yours.

A burden you shouldn’t bear.

“Uh…” Joel cleared his throat as he stepped away, pulling his hands from yours, “Thank you.”

Finishing up saddling the horse you led it out the stall door, the iron shoes click-clacked against the worn wood floor before it fell silent against the snow when you led the horse outside. With a nod in the direction of the house you told him to wait inside for you.

“Would ya let Arthur know he can go right ahead with the sled?” he asked you, his body half-turned towards the barn house.

You let out a breathy laugh, a frosty cloud of smoke clouding your smile before you nodded.

Inside, he waited for you on the couch, watching you wave Arthur off on the horse through the window. Joel’s heart picked up its beat when he heard your hollow steps across the porch. He shifted slightly in his seat when you walked in, almost standing but then decided against it in the same moment, rubbing his hands over his thighs instead.

Stomping off the snow covering your shoes you smiled at him like always, and Joel didn’t know what to do. A feeling starting to bubble under the surface of his skin. Excitement? Nervousness? Dread? Joel couldn’t tell. Maybe he felt all three at once– if that was possible. Excitement at the prospect of being alone with you, but also nervousness at the prospect of being alone with you. They gathered around his heart, filled his chest, but the dread, it climbed up his spine, bit its cold teeth in the back of his neck.

“Just let me grab my things,” you hurried with a gesture towards your room.

Joel cleared his throat and nodded. It felt clumsy and awkward, and he cursed himself for it while he waited for you. He couldn’t be alone with you. Couldn’t entertain the growing feelings. It wasn’t right – to you – Joel needed to stay away, to keep a friendly distance.

Joel sighed and closed his eyes.

Nothin’s happenin’. 

Like a broken record, those two words spun in Joel’s head in the few seconds it took before you were back in the living room, dropping down next to him with your basket overflowing with yarn.

It felt like déjà vu.

You worked in a comfortable silence, and Joel didn’t know if he should say anything. He watched how you worked your needle with a practiced hand – you made it look so easy – but Joel knew it wasn’t. A lifetime ago he’d spent way too many nights with a needle in his hand trying to mend a hole over the knee of tiny pink pants, his stubby fingers gripping the needle tightly, guiding it clumsily through the fabric until he was red in the face from frustration.

He needed to thank you, but should he say it now or wait until you’d finished? The longer he watched you, the stronger that bubbling feeling felt, bubbling over, up his throat and over the bite of dread.

“There!” you smiled when you’d fastened off the last stich. You grabbed a hold of his hands before he’d had time to think and pulled the mittens over his knuckles.

“Thank you,” he said, voice scruff but tone still shyer than he’d expected.

You smiled at him again and leaned a little closer to readjust the mittens, tugging at the yarn where you’d mended them, pulling them into the right shape.

“You’re welcome, Joel.” You locked eyes with him and suddenly Joel noticed how close you sat. It made him hold his breath as his heart started hammering against his chest.

His gaze flickered towards your lips for half a second, wishing for something he couldn’t have– shouldn’t have. He caught himself quickly, finding your eyes again but they were fixated on something else, his lips. Who leaned in first, Joel would never know, the only thing he knew was the feel of your breath against his lips before they brushed over yours in a soft kiss.

Warm. Joel felt so warm.

His hands worked by their own volition; mitten clad, and soft against your cheek, pulling you closer to him, but not close enough. Your hand grabbed at his jacket in the crook of his elbow, tethering yourself to him, to the moment, like you’d float away if you didn’t. You hummed against his lips, a desperate sound as you shifted closer.

The sound messed with Joel’s head, he wanted to hear more of it, pull it from you again. His tongue teased at the seam of your lips, a distant thought at the back of his head questioning where his boldness suddenly came from, but he ignored it.

It didn’t matter.

The sound escaped you once more and you opened yourself up to him. Joel’s other hand, moving with desperate urgency, found your hip – pulling you even closer. He licked into your mouth, and he fell deeper into you, deeper into the grip you’d snaked around his heart.

A loud slam of the kitchen door pulled Joel away, and the reality of what he’d done trickled coldly down his spine. Out in the kitchen Alma rummaged around while you looked at him with bright eyes, pupils slightly dilated with a hazy smile across your lips.

Joel felt awful.

He shouldn’t have done that.

He’d taken advantage of you. He’s too old for you – none of this was right.

You noticed the change in him, you must’ve, because your eyebrows pulled together in the smallest of frowns as you regarded him.

“Joel,” you started, your voice low and soft, but he just shook his head.

“I’m sorry!” Joel quickly stood to his feet, wiping his hands on his jeans as though that would somehow erase what he’d done. “We– I shouldn’t have done that– I’m sorry.”

“Don’t,” you tried to grab at his hand, but Joel only shook his head again.

“I’m sorry.”

Joel was out the door before he could regret it, lord knows he couldn’t take anymore regret. His life had been full of them, full of ‘I shouldn’t haves’. He dug his mitten-clad hands in the pockets of his jacket, his head hanging low as he headed down the road towards the forest.

A heavy blanket of clouds had shaded the morning sun, the world darkened in the beginnings of real winter. As a snowflake kissed his cheek, his thoughts wandered to the butterfly he’d seen all those weeks ago. How it had rested over his knee– made him think of Sarah.

You’re on the right path.

Joel had never felt this lost.

The kiss.

It took up most of Joel’s mind. When he worked himself hard with an axe in his hand, when he was counting sheep, but most of all, each time he saw you. Then his thoughts had a mind of its own, reminding him of how your lips had felt against his own, the feel of your body under his touch, and the sounds you’d made just for him. The kiss had been the first kiss who’d made him want another. The first kiss where he’d pulled away and not been satisfied. He needed to kiss you again, to feed this new hunger for you.

But it wasn’t right. An old man like him with someone like you. It wasn’t a good idea– would never be a good idea.

So, Joel tried his best to avoid you, but avoiding you was impossible – you lived in the same house, shared a bedroom wall. He saw you every day whether he liked it or not – and he did.

He liked you, and it scared the shit out of him.

He felt like he lived in a cruel state of limbo. He didn’t know what you were thinking. If you were mad (you had every right), if you were disappointed (he hoped you weren’t), or happy (maybe the most devastating thought of all).

The fire crackled loudly, sparks kicking, the sound making you look up from your book. Joel’s eyes found his own book, rereading the same paragraph he’d been trying to read for the last thirty minutes– ever since Arthur and Alma had retired to bed. This was the first time he’d been alone with you since the kiss, and he felt it all over his body. The aftermath of the kiss sticking to his body like the Austin heat had done in the peak of summer – he couldn’t shake it off, couldn’t ignore it.

“When was the last time you cut your hair?” you suddenly spoke across the silence.

Your question was unexpected, and it made him pull his brows together in a frown. “You sayin’ I look bad?” Joel asked, dogearing the page he was on before closing his book.

“No,” you said quickly, shaking your head, “No-no, I mean it’s just a little long.”

Joel looked at you for a second before he ran a hand through his hair. Well, it wasn’t like you weren’t right. Lately his hair had started to get in his eyes, even when he pushed it back. Most days when he was working outside, he could tame it under the knitted beanie you’d made him, but it had started to have a life of its own.

“Boston. I think, Tes–” he cut himself off before he said her name, clearing his throat awkwardly to cover his slip up. He’d forgotten, forgotten for a second that she was dead. Forgotten she’d died for him and his stupid quest to find his brother. Died for nothing.

“I can trim it for you… if you want?” you asked with a bite of your lip.

He couldn’t say no to you.

“Uh… yeah,” he nodded, “Okay.”

As you led him up the stairs to the bathroom, Joel tried not to think too hard about what it would mean – you cutting his hair. He tried not to think about how the last person who’d done something like that for him was Tess, and what it meant that she was gone– that it now would be you.

Your fingers running through his wet hair felt good– what didn’t feel good was the way his back almost gave out from leaning his head in the bathroom sink. The basin was too small, and the tap hung too low for him to comfortably turn his head, instead the water spilled down his face.

Why the hell was he drowning himself for you?

“Done soon?” he grunted, his hands gripping the sides of the sink while he felt your fingers scrub at his roots.

Yes, Joel was uncomfortable, but the way you stood so close – practically leaning on him – it felt nice. So nice that Joel thought that if his eyes weren’t already shut, they’d flutter shut at your touch.

Soap suds ran down the sides of his face as you giggled, “Just a little longer.”

You maneuvered his head back under the tap, your right hand running through his hair under the water while the left covered his eyes in a useless attempt. Then you grabbed the towel resting next to him on the porcelain, the world suddenly silenced through fabric as you dried his now clean hair.

“You can stand now,” you told him with a small tap to his back as you stepped away. You’d laid the towel around his shoulders, ready to catch any excess water.

Joel groaned, “I don’t think I can.”

You giggled again and then your hands wrapped around him, helping him up. Joel groaned again, but this time for show. He liked the way you touched him, gentle – always gentle. He plopped down in the chair you’d brought in from the spare bedroom, while you got your comb and scissors ready. The wooden chair creaked as he shifted his legs, widening them while he rested his hands in his lap.

He’d never seen this chair before, but then again Joel hadn’t explored the house much – it didn’t feel right. He was a guest after all, only staying for a few months– or was he? His eyes found you in the mirror, and then that thought suddenly felt awfully wrong.

“Ready?” you turned around to him, a pair of kitchen scissors in one hand, and an old shaver plugged into the wall in the other.

You didn’t say much as you worked. It was uncharacteristic for a hairdresser, at least from what he could remember. Back before the outbreak he’d rarely gotten his hair cut by someone other than himself. With his clipper guard set to four he’d tidy up the sides when it was needed and called it a day.

Your quietness was also uncharacteristic to you. You never talked his ear off, but you were never this quiet – at least you weren’t before the–

Stop.

Joel tried not to think about that.

He’d gone and fucked everything up now. Instead, he stole a glance at you in the mirror, watched the way your lips pursed in concentration to the metal sound of scissors snipping, and the low buzz of the shaver.

He needed to apologize to you.

“I…” he started, watching your head snap curiously to watch him in the mirror.

No turning back now– just say it.

“I’m sorry ‘bout the other day– It wasn’t right to kiss you like that.”

Your curiosity pulled into confusion across your face, and your eyebrows tugged together in a frown.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Joel,” you told him, your voice gentle, “I didn’t exactly–... well I definitely wasn’t stopping you.” You said it with an awkward laugh. Your kind, always kind, eyes that’d watched him in the mirror, now glued to the back of his head as you gently combed his hair.

Joel felt something bloom in his chest at your words, and despite himself, he felt his cheeks warm slightly as thoughts invaded his mind. 

Maybe he should tell you why he did it. 

Shit, did Joel even know why he did it? 

“I thought you–” Joel felt the words stall in his throat for a second, before he cleared it decisively. 

No going back now, he thought to himself, just rip off the band aid you idiot.

Another part of Joel screamed at him to stop the words before they even left his lips, and his doubts gnawed at his insides with more intensity than ever.

“The other night, when you were asleep,” he paused to swallow, a lump growing in his throat, “I was getting to bed and I heard–... well, y’were sort of having a dream, sweetheart.”

With nervous eyes, Joel found your face in the mirror, and watched the way the smiling expression dropped off your face, quickly replaced by a wide-eyed look of pure mortification. 

“I–” you stuttered out, and Joel rushed to correct himself. 

“It’s nothin’ to be embarrassed about, I shouldn’t a been watchin’ you, I just–... thought maybe y’liked me, or something.” 

His words hung heavy in the air between you, and Joel’s heart picked up its beat as he watched how all your movements suddenly went quiet, along with the shaver, seemingly processing all this new information.

Your eyes found the back of his head again, and when he felt the comb run through his hair again, Joel suddenly felt very guilty for even bringing it up. 

Stupid. Why on earth would he do that? Was he trying to send you into an early grave? 

“I’m sorry you walked in on that,” you finally managed, your eyes fixated on your working hands as you refused to meet Joel’s eye – looking infinitely embarrassed.

You’re sorry? He didn’t want to hear those words leave your mouth ever again – the only person in this bathroom who was sorry, was him.

In the mirror you looked so small, and it was his own doing. Your teeth dug harshly into your bottom lip as your combed, and combed, and combed his hair in a shaky hand. Joel felt his heart break.

He’d dug himself too deep now, Joel thought, he had to tell you, to reassure you it was okay.

After a beat of silence, Joel spoke again.

“I’m not.” 

Your eyes widened at his words before they snapped to the mirror, staring at him as the shears trembled slightly in your hand. Still, you didn’t say anything.

Joel didn’t have the faintest idea where he was going with this, and with the way you looked at him now, his doubts seemed to overtake him as he got the sudden urge to swallow his words right back up. 

“Look, forget I even said anything angel, I didn’t mean anythin’ by it–” 

The word slipped from his lips like the most natural thing in the world. Something flashed in your eyes through the mirror, he could’ve sworn it, and Joel seemed to realize a beat too late what he’d called you. Feeling his cheeks heat up, his embarrassment forced his gaze to fall anywhere but at you, quicklyfinding his hands knotted in his lap.

“Joel,” you said softly, and despite himself, Joel felt the earlier warmth expanding like a balloon in his chest, “It’s okay.” 

He perked up at your words, his eyes snapping from his hands to you as you moved, coming to stand in front of him. Your hands deftly moved the comb through his curls as he looked up at you through the strands. You seemed focused on cutting the ends, before you let out a breath. 

“It would’ve been okay if you had been watching, you know,” you said, your voice simple and even.

Joel felt his entire body tense at your words as his eyes bored into your face. He watched the way your face grimaced slightly; your eyes focused on snipping the strands right.

“I just mean I–” There was a pause as you gave him a half-embarrassed smile, your lips pursed together as you seemed to search for your next words. 

You were standing so close, so close he could smell the sweetness off you. You made him dizzy. Dizzy with warmth. Dizzy with proximity. Dizzy with something heavy in the depths of his chest he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Joel didn’t know why he did it, didn’t know why the way his hands moved felt like second nature, but when the tips of his fingers grazed the back of your knee in an attempt to reassure you, it felt like something was calling to him.

“It’s okay,” he told you, “You can tell me, angel.” 

Finally, your eyes met Joel’s. Those kind sparkling eyes bored into his own as you, in an attempt to gather some courage, swallowed hard.

“I–I do like you,” you said.

The finality of your words lodged something loose in Joel, and something he hadn’t felt in a long time flicker to life in his chest.

“That so?” he asked, his voice a little lower.

Somehow, you were stood even closer, only slightly taller than Joel as he angled his head up towards you. Your chest started to rise and fall in a quicker rhythm at his question. Looking at him, your lips twitched in a nervous smile as you turned slightly away from his, placing the comb and scissors on the sink gently.

You nodded.

Still turned away from him, he watched how you gathered yourself, your hands resting on the porcelain as your head hung low between your shoulder blades.

“When you…” you trailed off, moving the comb and scissors in a perfect parallel line next to each other. “When you,” you repeated, “kissed me… I thought maybe… you liked me back.”

It was now or never.

Joel knew it.

Standing from his chair, Joel’s hand found your shoulder, turning you to face him. You didn’t look at him right away, your head tipped in a bow as you fiddled with your fingers.

“Hey,” his fingers brushed lightly under your chin, tilting your head up. Your eyes were wide, flickering like sunlight over wavy water as you studied his face. His eyes fell to your lips – he couldn’t help it, and the memories of how they’d felt against him resurfaced in his mind. If he just leaned a little closer, he’d feel them again.

“Joel… if you don’t want me– if you don’t like me, you can just tell me– I’m a big girl.” Your voice sounded almost breathless, like you’d run up a flight of stairs or walked miles in knee deep snow.

Joel shook his head before you’d even finished your sentence. Don’t want you? Don’t like you? It was absurd.

“It ain’t that.”

“Then what is it?” The way the words left your lips, broken, beaten, it had Joel’s heart tear apart in his chest.

“It ain’t right, angel. I’m too old f’you– I can’t take advantage of you like that.”

A frown pulled at your face then, “Take advantage?” you questioned with a shake of your head. “I’m a grown woman, Joel. Would it be taking advantage if it was what I wanted? If what I wanted was… you?”

Joel had never thought about it like that before. The thought of you wanting him back had seemed like a fantasy – something that would never even be a possibility.

Your fingers moved a strand of hair out of his face, brushing it away, and Joel held his breath. Hesitating for just a second, you cupped his cheek gently and leaned closer. The softness of your lips over his own had Joel reeling – didn’t matter how quick or chaste the kiss had been – it only left him wanting more.

“I look stupid.”

“You don’t look stupid, Joel,” you laughed, full of joy.

You adjusted the bandana holder and fixed the crooked kerchief around his neck slightly. The red fabric picked up the warmth in his lined leather jacket, and the metal holder caught the shine of the sun.

Joel couldn’t believe he’d said yes.

This morning when he’d gotten up with the sun, Alma had stuck her head out of her and Arthur’s bedroom right as he was on his way out the bathroom. Arthur wasn’t feeling well, and Joel had prepared himself to work in the woods alone. It wasn’t the first time Arthur had gotten sick, and with the way he was looking lately, Joel figured it wouldn’t be the last.

He'd been washing his dishes from his breakfast when you’d padded into the kitchen. With a look over his shoulder, he’d caught the way you’d smiled at him before you padded over to him.

“Good morning,” you’d said and wrapped your arms around him from behind.

“Mornin’, angel,” he’d hummed back. He’d dried his plate and placed it on the counter before he’d turned around, still in your embrace.

Joel wasn’t used to it yet, your affection, he still had a hard time comprehending it was meant for him. That it wasn’t some joke you’d so cruelly played on him. A joke to see how long you could feed him this adoration until he’d get hooked on it, hooked on you, before pulling away.

Joel didn’t dare hold you too tightly. Everyone he’s ever held in his arms had been pulled away by death’s hands. Every day since you’d told him you liked him, wanted him, Joel had been afraid to lose you.

Maybe that’s why he’d said yes? You’d convinced him it’ll be safer for you if you knew how to shoot.

Joel didn’t know.

The only thing he knew was that he’d caved under your wide and blinking eyes. You’d looked too cute to say no, and he disliked seeing a frown upon your lips, unless he could kiss it away.

Which he did – but only when you were alone.

You’d both agreed to keep this thing, the fondness, the love, growing between you a secret. It was easier that way, at least until you both knew what it all meant. Right now, it was a thing, a fondness, but not yet a love, although Joel wasn’t far off if he were being honest with himself, especially when you looked at him with those moony eyes.

With a pat to his chest, you pushed off him with a smile. In a closet upstairs you’d found you both a cowboy hat and some bandanas you’d insisted on him wearing. The whole thing was silly, but the way you’d lit up with happiness when you’d placed the cowboy hat on his head, it didn’t matter to Joel.

“C'mon cowboy,” you laughed, and grabbed his hand.

He let you drag him with you before he caught up with you. He pulled at your arm so you crashed into his side, and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. It made you giggle, and the sound bubbled around Joel’s heart.

Ingydar stood waiting dutifully in his stall, where you’d gotten him ready. The saddle bags were packed with your lunches and a box of ammunition, and at the back of the saddle you’d rolled two sheep skins and tied them with leather ties. Everything was ready for your day out together.

Or your date, Joel thought as he trailed after you, closing the stable door behind him as you led the horse outside.

Joel insisted you get on the horse first with his help. He wanted to make sure you were comfortable and sat as safely as possible before he slid his foot into the stirrups. You wiggled around to mess with him, and Joel grabbed your knee to steady you. It made you giggle again, and he earned himself a ‘Relax, honey’. Then you leaned back and made space for him to get in front of you.

Joel liked the sound of ‘honey’.

“Y’alright back there?” Joel said over his shoulder after he’d gotten on the horse. Placing the shotgun over his lap, Joel made sure the safety was on before his hands came down to take yours where they rested over your thighs, and gently guided them to slot around his waist.

“Y’actually gotta hang on sweetheart, or you’ll slide right off the minute he starts trotting,” Joel said, fighting back a smile when he felt your arms tighten around him.

“I know how to ride a horse,” you retorted, and his chest shook with a slight chuckle. 

“Not saying you don’t, angel,” he replied easily, and kicked Ingydar lightly in the sides.

The old horse started walking, and Joel pulled on the reins, steering it down the road and then south towards the woods.

“’Just makin’ sure you ain’t gonna fall off ‘s all,” he said.

You hummed in return, leaning your body against his back. “It’ll have to be a really bumpy ride for me to fall off, Joel,” you spoke, the innuendo not lost on Joel.

He decided to pull at the thread a little, “And I s’pose you’ve had a lot of these bumpy rides, have you, angel?”

Your hands around his waist tightened slightly as he felt you lean over his shoulder, your hat dumping into his. A smile tugged at his lips, and in his side vision he could see you narrow your eyes playfully at him. 

“What are you insinuating, Joel Miller?” you asked him, your tone only half-sharp.

A chuckle rumbled in Joel’s chest, before he bit back a smirk. “I’m not insinuatin’ nothin’,” he replied, keeping his tone as normal as he could.

He felt your eyes study him for a moment before he heard you let out a dissatisfied hum. “You definitely are.” 

“Well, we got an entire horse ride to god knows where to debate it,” he shot back, which made you smile.

You leaned back again, and a second later he felt you rest your forehead against his back. Joel figured you must’ve flicked your hat off; letting it rest against your back tied by the string around your neck.

“An entire horse ride to god knows where?” you repeated half-mockingly, speaking into his back but Joel could hear your smile in your voice, “You really know how to make a girl wait for it.”  

“You have no idea, angel,” Joel replied, an otherwise joking tone overshadowed by something else, something more honest.

Behind him, Joel felt you shift, and a small spark of pride filled his chest. He had an effect on you, the same way you had an effect on him. Quickly, you changed the subject, and that spark of pride grew larger in Joel’s chest.

“Did you have a plan, by the way?” you asked him, your voice light and innocent, “Or are we just riding this horse off into the sunset?” 

“It’s the middle of the day,” Joel pointed out, “And you’re the one who put me in a bandana, so don’t even bother tellin’ me you ain’t the one with the plan.” 

You let out a giggle at this and pressed your face into his back once more. “Just keep going straight for now, you bore, I’ll tell you when.” 

Joel chuckled at you, and did as you said, guiding the horse south at the edge of the forest where the snow wasn’t as deep. He felt you tighten your hands slightly around his waist, before you fell into a comfortable silence.  

The horse held a steady pace, rocking you in a soothing rhythm in the saddle. The day was bright and sunny, almost blinding against the snow. Joel had never gone down this way before, never seen the stone face of the mountain up close, the way it cried glittery winter tears when the sun shone.

“There’s a river down here somewhere,” you suddenly spoke, breaking the silence that had built between you. “There’s a nice little spot down there where we can camp.”

Joel pulled at the reins, following in the direction you’d pointed. “You’ve been down this way before?” he asked.

“Maybe once or twice a year,” you started, “There’s this town, Jackson, maybe a week’s ride south. I’m not exactly supposed to talk about it– they run a pretty tight ship, coming off a little more threatening than they are, but they’re sort of like a commune. Arthur has this deal with one of the ladies, Maria, where we help each other out by trading.”

A frown pulled at Joel’s face, “I thought y’all were all alone out here?” 

“Well, we are, but not really. It’s because of them we still have running water and electricity– we’re connected to the same system they use. And then usually in the fall or in the spring Arthur will go trade with them for things we need like soap, or nails and stuff we can’t make on our own at the farm.”

Joel hummed, and the puzzle pieces of information you’d given him, started to fit into the bigger picture he’d painted of your life at the farm. He could understand why Alma and Arthur still resided at the farm. It was their home, the place where they’d lived their whole life, but for you, for you it was different.

“So… you know ‘em? You’ve gone with Arthur to meet this Maria?” he asked.

“A little, I guess. She’s uh…” you trailed off, resting your cheek against Joel’s back instead.

The river finally came into view, and Joel let you have the silence. He guided Ingydar down towards the riverbank. A wound cut the ice in two where the river poured backwards eternally. The water clucked under the ice as you rode along the edge; was it wishful thinking to think it sounded like the coming of spring?

“She?” Joel prodded gently.

Joel heard you sight before you sat up, no longer leaning your weight on him. “She invited me to come live with them… in Jackson.”

Joel frowned, “’nd you told her no?”

“Well… yes– I just, I can’t leave them alone.”

“Sweetheart–” Joel started, but you cut him off.

“Let’s stop here!”

You didn’t say anything as Joel watched you loosen the saddle bags and sheep skins, while he petted the old horse. He found himself wondering how you’d ended up on the farm, and if you could’ve been happier somewhere else– like Jackson.

He tied Ingydar to a tree, before he waded back to where you were trampling the snow flat. He helped you form a bench out of the snow, cutting through the layers until you found a hard enough crust to hold both your weights. The sheepskin warmed under him, as he sat down with a groan. It made you turn around from where you sat on your haunches in front of the fire you were building, a teasing smile pulling at the corner of your mouth.

“Tired already, old man?” you teased as you stood to your feet and walked closer.

Spreading his legs, Joel made room for you to stand between them, as he tipped his head back to study you above him. Your smile was dangerous, wild and wonderful.

“Old man, huh?” He raised an eyebrow at you, not able to resist the urge to wrap his hand around the back of your knee.

Your teeth caught on your bottom lip at his touch, and a pride swelled inside Joel. Pride at pulling a reaction from you. Before you could answer him, a boldness took a hold of him, and he wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you down into his lap.

You yelped out a giggle and your hands came down to brace yourself against his shoulder. Joel felt a feeling overcome him; one he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Happiness.

It tickled at his heart, teared at something inside, and it scared him.

“You okay?” you asked, your voice coated in concern, and Joel felt his cheeks heat up. He let out a dry chuckle, embarrassed by how easily you could read him.

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, “I just…” he trailed off, studying your face and watching how your eyebrows pulled together in the smallest of frowns.

He shook his head again, before he leaned forward, not thinking it through as he brushed his lips over yours in a kiss. You reciprocated the kiss immediately, although maybe a little caught off guard. Joel’s arm around your waist tightened, as his other hand brushed up your side. He needed to hold you close for just a second, just to know this was real, that this feeling was real, and that you were real.

You broke away first, breathless with a giggle before you dove down again for another peck. Joel let you kiss him; let you cup his cheek and bring him closer. You shifted in his lap, your core rubbing slightly over his crotch. It could’ve been an accident, but the small gasp you let out told him it wasn’t. His arm around your waist tightened, and he had to pull away.

Wide eyes looked back at him, and Joel couldn’t help but stare at your lips. He felt like a teenager, a teenager sneaking out the house to meet a girl. To finally be with you without the secrecy – to touch you and kiss you openly.

“You’re somethin’ else, aren’t you?” he whispered.

A smile teased at your lips before you leaned in closer, your breath brushing over his ear, “You have no idea.”

Blood coursed south, and Joel felt his cock come alive behind the confinements of his jeans. It was cold enough for a man to freeze his balls off, but desire’s warmth filled him anyway.

He pulled his head away, finding your eyes blown full of lust. A smile teased at the corner of his mouth as he spoke, “Let’me teach ya to shoot before you get too excited.”

“Before I get too excited?” you laughed, and sat up properly in his lap again, “I think that might be you, old man.”

Teaching you to shoot was less of a success than Joel had intended. He’d found a couple of old glass bottles in the barn to use as target practice, but your aim was terrible, missing each shot. To your credit, it wasn’t your fault. He’d taught you how to load the gun, how to stand safely, and with his hand snaking around your body, how to hold it properly.

He could swear his intentions were good at first, he actually wanted to teach you, to make sure you knew how to shoot, and safely, but when he saw how your body shivered from his voice in your ear – he decided to play with you a little.

Maybe he whispered a couple of innuendos in your ear while he dropped his voice an octave just to see your reaction. Or maybe he pressed himself a little closer to your body, showing you how it was done like in those cliché romcoms he’d been forced to watch with Sarah.

It didn’t take long before the empty bottles, or the shot gun was forgotten, as you pressed your lips against his in a desperate kiss, your cold nose rubbing against his own.

But Joel didn’t have it in him to complain.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The sound at the door jolted Joel from his sleep. He’d almost been dragged under, laying in that limbo state between awake and asleep– not yet in dreamland, but not still among the living.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Joel sat up, letting the duvet fall into his lap and exposing his chest as the streak of yellow light coming through the ajar door cut his bedroom in two. Joel had to squint to see you properly in the doorway as he shed the last grip of sleep.

“Angel?” he questioned, as a tight grip of fear ran through him. He sat up properly now, ready to jump out of bed, his hands already searching for his shotgun resting at the foot of the bed.

With his eyes now fully adjusted to the dark, he watched how you quietly stepped inside his bedroom, closing the door as gently as you could – and the panic seemed to seize just a little. You padded to the edge of his bed, still so quiet, with your hands clasped nervously over where the hem of your sleep shirt met the bare of your thighs.

“I couldn’t sleep,” you whispered.

Joel shifted over slightly and lifted the duvet for you to slip under. An open invitation– one you were quick to accept.

“D’you have a nightmare?” Joel whispered, the wolf hour keeping his voice down.  

You shifted closer to him, your head rested on his pillow, and Joel couldn’t help himself from touching your waist gently – his fingers dancing over the soft cotton of your shirt.

“No,” you whispered back, “just couldn’t sleep.”

Joel hummed and shifted over onto his back, extending his arm for you to shift closer. It felt natural now – touching you. You felt like his, and he felt like yours. He didn’t know where it was going, but he was starting to enjoy the road to you. To get to know you more, what made you laugh, your quirks, and the way your body felt under his hands.

The weight of your head on his chest, Joel welcomed; his other hand quick to intertwine with the one you’d slung over his middle. He just wanted you close now, every chance he got.

“’Just try ‘nd get some sleep, my angel.” Joel pressed a kiss to the top of your head before he pulled back and closed his eyes. With you in his arms now, he knew he’d have no trouble falling back asleep.

“I–” you whispered.

Joel hummed; his eyes still closed.

“I kept thinking about you.”

Curiously Joel opened his eyes to find yours. You had tilted your head to look at him, you mouth slightly parted as you studied him with moony eyes. The way you looked at him stirred something inside him, a warmth pooling in the depth of his core.

“Yeah?” he questioned with a slight cock of his eyebrow, “’bout what?”

Then you got shy all of a sudden, hiding your head in his chest. “Thought about how you touched me,” you whispered.

“Touched ya how?” he prodded, gliding his hand up your arm slowly.

He knew it was wrong to play with you like this. Everything was still new, each touch unexplored and seeking. He couldn’t fuck you, even if he wanted to, and he did, badly, but Joel couldn’t risk it. Not in this world, not at this farm, it wasn’t fair to you.

Over him you held your breath as he teased your skin, eyes fluttering shut as his hand moved down the side of your body, and under the duvet.

“Like… like how you touched me in my dream,” you exhaled in a breathless voice.

Now Joel sucked in a breath, holding it in his lungs as he tried to calm himself down. He had an idea on how he’d touched you in your dream, but he couldn’t hold himself back from asking anyway.

“’nd where did I touch ya in your dream, angel.”

You squirmed against his body when his hand reached your bare thigh under the duvet, and soon your fingers locked around his wrist to guide it up over the soft skin of the inside of your thigh.

“Here,” you whispered.

A small gasp escaped you when he brushed his thumb gently over your clothed clit. Joel felt the wet warmth of you against the pad of his finger, making his cock twitch to life in his pajama pants.

“Here?” Joel whispered back, as his thumb started rubbing small circles over your clit.

“Y-yes.”

The noise you made, the noise he pulled from you from his small touch, sounded like the sweetest melody in Joel’s ear, and he wanted to hear it again. He ran his fingers through your cloth covered folds, and felt the wetness already seeped through.

Fuck.

“My angel… You’re so wet already,” he tutted, “Were you touchin’ yourself thinkin’ ‘bout me in that bed of yours?” he hummed in your ear.

A shiver ran through your body when his fingers found your clit again. Slowly, he started circling his fingers again, and the quiet moan that escaped you filled his chest with desire.

“Yes,” you breathed out, almost a whimper.

His teeth caught on his bottom lip, biting down to stave off the groan he wanted to let out at your words. He needed more of you, to feel the softness of you, to pull more of those breathy whimpers from your breath.

“Tell me, angel.”

In a bold move, Joel dipped his fingers into your panties, gliding two thick fingers through the seam of your folds, dipping into your arousal soiling your panties. His touch made you suck in a quick breath, as your eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. A proud grin spread across Joel’s face. It had been a while since he’d been with a woman, even longer since he’d been with a woman he felt something for.

He’d felt something for Tess, but that had been so complicated – it didn’t work right, they didn’t work right together as more than friends, like the puzzle pieces didn’t quite fit together. But the sex had been good, something to make them both forget for a little while.

Everything with you worked almost too easily, and Joel wanted to make you feel good, you deserved it, he thought.

“I-I,” you said breathlessly, as he worked his fingers slowly up and down from your hole to your clit, “I thought about your f-fingers.”

“Yeah, baby? Where?” He whispered in your ear before placing a kiss to the column of your neck. Joel was playing with you now, seeing how desperate he could get you before he tasted you.

“I-inside… I thought about your fingers inside me.”

Joel smiled into your neck. This felt as good a time as any to slip a finger inside you, so he did, slowly. You keened under his touch, and the sound of the small gasp you let out made Joel’s cock even harder.

“Like this baby?” he teased, pumping his finger slowly in and out of your wet warmth. He felt your hand wrap around his wrist, holding his arm, almost guiding him in his movements. He curled his finger inside you, trying to find that spongy spot inside that made you see stars.

“Y-yes, Joel–ah!”

There it was.

He liked the sound of his name falling from your lips like this, and he intended to hear it again. He couldn’t help but think about the way your cunt would squeeze around his cock, how tight you’d feel around him, as he continued to massage the spot with the pad of his finger.

“That feels good, doesn’t it?” he cooed, and placed a kiss to your cheek.

“Uh-uh,” you nodded, your eyebrows pulling together in a frown of pleasure, “Uh-uh.”

He felt your walls flutter around him, and Joel knew he had you just where he wanted you. Quickly, he pulled out his finger before slipping in a second. Your wetness dripped down his hand, coating him in your arousal with every pump of his fingers inside you.

Your breathing picked up, and small moans escaped you in time with the thrusting of his fingers. Joel had to contain himself from rubbing his bulge against your thigh, chasing any kind of relief.

This wasn’t about him, he told himself, he only wanted to make you feel good.

He knew you were close now, with just a flick of his thumb over your clit he’d have you coming on his hand – but Joel didn’t want it to be over yet. He needed to taste you, he’d thought about it as he’d jerked himself of, fantasized about how you’d taste on his tongue.

Suddenly, Joel pulled his finger out of your cunt. A strangled noise of, what Joel could only describe as disappointment, escaped your lips. It made Joel chuckle.

“Joel,” you whined, and squeezed your fingers around his wrist.

He didn’t answer, instead he sat up, a teasing smile coating his face as he shifted down the bed and pulled the duvet with him.

“Calm down, angel, be good f’me, okay?”

His hand wrapped around your calf to spread you apart for him, and he slotted between your legs. He placed a gentle kiss to your knee and let his eyes find yours where they looked back at him wide with anticipation.

“Are you gonna be good f’me?” he asked as he gave you another soft kiss, but this time to the inside of your thigh.

A breath escaped you in staccato, and you nodded, “Y-yes, Joel.”

“Good girl,” he rumbled, placing fluttering kisses up your thigh until he reached your core.

Joel didn’t want to waste any more time.

He stripped you out of your panties, and threw them to the side to get lost in the bedding. Finally, he got a good look at you, and fuck you were beautiful. Your cunt glistened with your wetness in the low white light of the moon coming through the window. Your hole pulsed when his thumb found your clit, where he pulling the hood back slightly as he teased you.

“Please,” you pleaded, your hand wrapping around his shoulder; searching for something to hold on to.

“It’s okay, angel,” he comforted you, as his finger spread your lips apart, and put you on display for him before he pinched them together. Under him you let out the smallest of whimpers as he played with you.

“I’m gonna put my mouth on you now, baby,” he told you, his finger back to circling your clit. “Gonna taste you pussy.”

His eyes flicked from your cunt to your face, searching for any indication that this wasn’t what you wanted. But Joel didn’t find any, your mouth had dropped open in the smallest of o’s, and your eyes were glazed over in lust.

“Please, Joel,” you begged, spreading your legs wider for him.

A grin spread across Joel’s face, and at last he finally closed the distance between his lips and your cunt, placing a kiss to your clit to start.

A hand found his head, as your fingers dug into his hair, which only made him smile wider. He dipped lower, flattening his tongue to taste you properly. You tasted so good, a sweet-salty taste he instantly craved more of. He licked a stripe from your clit to your hole, gathering up the arousal leaking from you, and hummed in contentment.

The fingers in his hair tightened their grip as he teased at your hole, pushing his tongue inside you a couple of times and earning himself the sweetest moans. Joel made sure to remember every twist of pleasure, and whiny moan.

He continued with a lick up the seam of your folds, which made your hips buck, chasing the swipes and zigzags of his tongue.

“That feel good, angel?” he prodded before latching onto your clit.

“Y-yes!” you gasped as he sucked and flicked his tongue.

The noises he pulled from you went straight to his hard cock. He could feel the precum leak from the tip and staining the fabric of his pajama pants. Shamelessly, he started bucking his hips against the bed.

He had to calm down, this wasn’t about him.

With a sudden move he pulled away, making a breathy whine escape you at the loss of his mouth. Joel sat up on his knees, before his hands found the back of your knees.

“Hold your legs f’me, angel,” he commanded, and pushed your legs up towards your chest. You did as he told you, and hooked your arms under your knees to put your cunt on full display for him.

“Fuck,” he breathed out, “so pretty f’me… so messy– listen.”

He ran a finger down your cunt to prove his point, a slick wet sound filling the air.

“Please, Joel,” you begged again, your voice broken with a breathless whine.

“Please what, angel?” he mocked, a spark of pride filling his chest as he watched you bite down on your lip.

“Please… make me come,” you whispered, and Joel thought he’d never heard anything sound so hot in his life.

He dove down again, consumed your cunt. His tongue lapped at your core, his finger teased your hole, pushing the pad just inside your opening; in and out, in and out. His lips found your clit again, where he flattened his tongue before drawing precise circles. Around his finger your cunt pulsed – you were close.

Joel never slowed down his tempo, determined now to make you come. He continued to lick and suck, thrusting his fingers inside you fully now as he pushed up against the spot he’d found earlier. Your breath picked up the pace, small breathy moans and whines escaping you in an increasing tempo.

“R-right there,” you heaved, your face scrunched together in pleasure. “D-don’t stop– I’m gonna c-come.”

Joel hummed against you, continuing his rhythm with his fingers and his tongue, coaxing you closer and closer to your orgasm. You started to mumble something, but Joel couldn’t hear it clearly between your heaving breaths.

He was determined now.

Curling his fingers again, your eyes snapped open, “Joel!”

Your cunt spasms around his fingers, and then you came around his fingers. Your eyes screwed shut as you moaned, as your body squirmed under him.

You looked so beautiful– you sounded so beautiful.

He continued to massage his fingers inside you, thrusting them slowly as you rode out your high. Making sure to drink in every sound, every squirm and twist of your pleasure as he watched you calm down.

When your breath had started to come back to normal, Joel pulled his fingers from your cunt. His fingers were coated in you, coated in your slick arousal and your cum. With a cheeky smile he brought his fingers to his mouth as he locked eyes with you and sucked them clean. The wide-eyed look on your face was the sweetest thing he’d seen.

“Joel,” you begged, your hand pulling him down over you.

He held himself up with a hand digging into your pillow, and he couldn’t help but smile as he looked down at you. He never wanted to forget the look on your face in this moment, never wanted to forget what you looked like glowing in a post-orgasm bliss.

Your hands cupped his cheek and pulled him down to your lips. The kiss was desperate, wet and messy, and it made Joel’s heart soar inside his chest. His cock was so hard. He could slip it inside you just for a moment, only the tip.

“Please,” you said breathlessly between kisses, “you can fuck me, Joel.”

No, not yet.

With a shake of his head, he came to his senses, “No, angel, this was just f’you.”

Your eyes widened with confusion; a slight frown pulled at your eyebrows as he pulled away. Joel bought himself some time by pulling you closer and wrapping an arm around you, careful not to press his hard cock into your ass.

“There ain’t exactly any condoms out here,” he told you, “It’s just too risky.”

It was a sorry excuse, Joel knew it, and he could tell you did too. His boner rubbing into your ass told you as much. Joel wanted to, he wanted to fuck you, but he just couldn’t, not yet anyway. Not until he knew that it was what you wanted, that he was what you wanted.

A moment went by before he heard you whisper, “You can pull out?”

Joel couldn’t hold back the smile threatening to spill across his face, “I’ve heard that one before, didn’t exactly go to plan.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, turning around in his arms to find his face.

Shit.

“Nothin’,” he shook his head. He didn’t want to think about that right now, didn’t want to feel that grief that’s never gone away, didn’t want it to tear at the happiness he felt in this moment. “It’s just somethin’ from before.”

Your interest seemed to pique at that. You turned around fully in his arms and slung your arm around his broad chest. Your eyes glittered with curiosity, “How was it? Your life before?”

Memories flashed before Joel’s eyes; days of hard work under the Austin sun, drunk laughter at the bar with his brother, pink birthday parties, and singing along to girl groups in the truck.

He held his breath for a moment before he let out a quiet sigh, “Normal, I guess.”

When he looked down at you where you rested your head on his shoulder, it seemed his brief answer had disappointed you, so he decided to elaborate, “I worked too damn much– me ‘nd my lil’ brother we uh, had a business together–”

“Contractors,” you remembered.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “that’s right.”

“What’s his name?” you asked.

“Who’s name?” Joel frowned.

“Your brother,” you said, the ‘duh’ not spoken out loud, but your tone indicative of it either way.

“Uh, Tommy.”

“Joel and Tommy,” he could hear the smile in your voice. “What’s he like?”

Joel sucked in a breath, “A pain in my ass first of all.”

A playful slap landed on his chest and Joel couldn’t help but smile, “I’m serious.”

Interlocking his fingers with your hand on his chest, Joel opened up to you. “Tommy always wanted to be a hero. He enlisted in the army right outta high school, I was… well, it doesn’t matter– they shipped him off to Iraq a few months later and he…” Joel trailed off, his eyes fixating on a crack in the ceiling.

“What happened when he got back?” you gently asked with a squeeze of his hand.

“Turns out bein’ in the army doesn’t make you feel much like a hero,” Joel sighed, “I watched out for him, kept him outta trouble, made sure he had a steady job.”

“You’re a good brother,” you told him, but Joel felt the opposite.

“I don’t know,” Joel shook his head slightly, “Then the outbreak happens, and Tommy convinces me to join a group makin’ their way up to Boston, which I did, mostly to keep an eye on him, keep him alive. We meet Tess, join a crew ‘nd… did some things I ain’t proud of, but we were survinin’, right?”

You squeezed his hand again, urging him to continue. “Then Tommy meets Marlene. She talks him into joinin’ the Fireflies. Same mistake he made when he was eighteen– wants to save the world. ‘Course, last I heard he quit the Fireflies too. So, now he’s on his own out there.”

“And that’s how you ended up here, looking for him.” You said the words slowly, like you were contemplating each word, “and he’s still out there somewhere.”

A lump of guilt grew in Joel’s throat. Had he abandoned his brother for the safety of your arms? Let Tess die for nothing?

“Yeah,” he swallowed around his guilt, “Last contact I heard from him came from around the Cody tower– in Wyoming.”

“Cody?” you sat up, “That’s not too far from Jackson… maybe that’s where he is? I need to ask Arthur, but there’s no other settlements around here except in Jackson.”

A small glimmer of hope awakened in him, “You sure?”

“Yeah,” you nodded your head, “when spring comes you should go to Jackson with Arthur– maybe he’s there!”

Your enthusiasm was cute; the way you seemed to glow above him. “Maybe,” he hummed, noncommittedly, as he pulled you down to rest against his chest again.

A moment passed in silence before you whispered, “And this Tess… was she your wife?”

“No, she… she was my partner– but she was family.” The words strained in his throat, like they didn’t want to come out, “She’s dead… got bit.”

“I’m sorry, Joel,” you said, your voice gentle as you squeezed him tighter. “I understand… my family–” you cut yourself of, but Joel understood.

Dead.

“Arthur said I wasn’t the first person passin’ through. I’m guessing that was you?”

“Yeah,” you sighed, “I uh, my family and I, we were travelling with a group. It wasn’t very large, but I guess it was big enough to draw attention. One night, uh,” your voice started to tremble, and it broke something in Joel.

“Angel,” he whispered, his hand wrapping tighter around you, “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

“I’m sorry,” you sniffled, “it’s just really hard to talk about.”

“Don’t apologize, I know baby, I know,” Joel soothed before pressing light kisses to the top of your head.

“One night,” you cleared your throat, “We’d camped, had dinner and I… I waited for my parents to fall asleep so I could sneak into the tent of this boy that I liked, Ben. He was the only person my age in our group. I had just turned eighteen and I was in love, I guess.”

You paused, and Joel pressed another kiss to the top of your head. “We were fooling around in his tent when I heard something outside,” you continued, “Ben said I was being paranoid, that I was just afraid to get caught by my parents, but then we heard a gunshot. It was chaos, e-everything, t-they’d killed my family, Ben, e-everyone. I managed to hide behind a tree, my feet were like frozen to the ground, I-I couldn’t run. I saw each and every face of the men who murdered my family. They raided the camp, took e-everything.”

“Angel,” Joel soothed when you started crying, “You’re safe… you’re safe now.”

“I don’t know how I did it, but I managed to get away– I just ran, ran as fast as I could for as long as I could. I’ve never been so cold, or tired or hungry as when I stumbled on this farm. I don’t remember the first days, I was so sick, but Alma and Arthur took care of me– I owe them everything, they saved my life.”

You were full on crying now, and Joel tried his best to calm you. He whispered soothing words in your ear, pressed soft kisses to your skin, and held you in his arm. He let you cry, as he cursed the people who’d done this to you – cursed the world who continued to take, and take, and take.

Joel couldn’t leave you, and maybe deep down he’d know it for a long time. He’d do as you’d suggested and go with Arthur to Jackson come spring, but he was coming back for you.

He wasn’t gonna leave you.

The days came and went and collected into a tranquil rhythm of the cogs in Joel’s routine. He’d wake to the bleeding blade of the sun over the lip of the mountain, or your kisses over his heavy eyelids. After that first night together, you slept in his bed more nights than not, as his bed transformed into a room for just the two of you. A place where Joel didn’t have to think or be anything other than completely himself. A place to laugh and smile, whisper under the bright moon, and hear his name fall from your lips in breathy moans.

Your chest rose and fell in a steady beat, your eyes closed so delicately you looked like a sleeping angel. And you were, his angel. Joel never made a habit of watching you sleep, but sometimes he’d indulge himself in the peacefulness of the hour between night and dusk. By the time the room started to turn blue with the morning light, that’s when Joel missed you too much; wrapping his arms around you with just enough movement to wake you without being blamed.

He’d let you dream for a few moments longer, though. Content to lay in the silence with you before the noise of the day would pull you apart. But the moment of peace could only last for so long, the soft thumps of Alma’s steps down the stairs told Joel it was time to wake up.

Under the crinkling of the sheets, Joel’s hand found the dip in your waist. He was about to kiss you good morning when he heard Alma’s steps come closer and closer. A surge of panic coursed to his chest.

“Joel?” she knocked on his door.

“I ain’t decent yet, Alma,” Joel yelled through the door. The loud bass of his voice made you blink your eyes open, looking up at him with a curious look.

“I’m sorry Joel– I was just letting you know that Arthur isn’t feeling well today.”

Joel sighed. This was the third time in as many weeks Arthur was sick, and now Joel was in for another day alone with the work and the trees.

“Thank you, ma’am. I’ll be out in a second.”

“I’m going to get started on breakfast for you, Joel,” she answered.

When Joel had thanked Alma, and her steps had faded away, Joel indulged himself in a morning kiss. The way your lips slotted against his felt like oxygen rebounding his lungs. 

“Again?” you sighed when you broke away from the kiss, your hand found his hair to brush a curl from his face.

“’s the cold I reckon– ‘nd the work… it ain’t exactly easy on the old man.”

You hummed and cupped his chin. “Maybe I should go with you today? Help you out?” you posed.

Joel heard himself chuckle and shook his head, “That ain’t happenin’, angel.”

A gasp left your lips in mock shock, “Why?”

“’Cause the animals would miss you, and I intend on stayin’ on their good side,” he said, a smile hanging off his face.

You narrowed your eyes at him playfully, intent on making him cave, “They’ll be fine.”

Joel only laughed, “You say that ‘nd the next thing I know I got Colonel Eggsworth on my ass.”

“I don’t believe that,” now you were giggling, “Colonel Eggsworth is the nicest rooster we’ve had!”

“I ain’t takin’ any chances, angel,” Joel pecked your lips.

“Coward,” he heard you mumble under your breath as he got out of bed. It made Joel smile, and a warmth gathered around his heart.

Back in the routine, after another quick kiss, you sneakily slipped back into your room to get dressed. While Joel pulled his sweater over his head, he thought about what it meant to wake up each morning with you and feel three words rive at his heart, never having it in him to say them, to let them spill out his mouth.

Maybe saying nothing was honesty’s default. Maybe it was how he could avoid telling you all the stupid things he wanted to say. So, for now he said nothing. Said nothing at the breakfast table. Nothing when you’d helped him saddle up Ingydar. And nothing as you waved him goodbye.

After months working in the woods, Joel did his work on autopilot. He always started with a reconnaissance round, looking for which trees to chop down. Then, with the weight of the axe in his hands, he’d start his work. Now, after they’d brought the horse out, the work was somewhat easier. He still had to chop down the tree, and clean off the branches, but he could move the trunks much easier now with the horse.

The wind howled like a hound, biting at Joel’s cheeks but the sun was out, and Joel didn’t mind. He’d gotten used to the cold by now, and Arthur had taught him quickly how to layer up. The increasing number of knitted pieces of clothing you’d made him also helped.

By the time the sun was at its highest peak, Joel debated going back for lunch. He’d done so every time he was alone out here, and especially after they’d started bringing the horse. The walk back had been cut in half on horseback, maybe even more than half now that he didn’t have to wade through the snow.

Looking back, Joel almost couldn’t see Ingydar where he’d tied him to a tree. He’d gone deeper into the woods than yesterday. Maybe it wasn’t worth it today? He could eat his packed lunch and finish up a little earlier instead.

The days had gotten shorter and shorter, and the hours of daylight had shrunk in the months he and Arthur had been working. But the sun had turned, Joel felt it. It wasn’t much, maybe a half hour or so, but he felt the difference.

He ate his lunch in the company of Ingydar, feeding him some carrots he’d snagged from the basement. He was a good horse, old and tired but hard working. Joel worked until the sun dropped behind the mountain, a shadow coating the world as it grew darker and darker. He needed to get back before it got properly dark. Joel quickly gathered his things, swinging his gun over his shoulders before he was back on horseback.

The horse knew the way back by itself at this point, even in the dark, but something wasn’t right. What was that smell? Small snowflakes started to fall from the sky the closer he got to the edge of the wood, but the smell only grew stronger.

Smoke.

Thoughts tumbled in Joel’s head, small fleets on a stormy sea. With a kick to the sides of Ingydar, they picked up their pace. The muted rhythm of horse hoofs against the packed snow trail, beat along to Joel’s heart.

A cloud of smoke rose up to the sky, dancing through bright yellow and orange flames. Joel couldn’t get there fast enough, pushing Ingydar to the limit as they galloped up the trail to the house. Joel’s heart was in his throat.

What the fuck was happening?

The flames licked at the sky, devouring the house, moaning and kicking like a beast. The heat was unbearable, the light almost blinding. Ingydar neighed loudly as Joel quickly jumped down, not bothering to tie him to something or calm him down. Joel watched the house burn in total disbelief. Frozen to the ground by shock, his heart beating loudly in his ears.

You.

Where were you? You had to been able to get out somehow, right? Why was everything so quiet?

Something caught his eye then, only a few steps from the porch stairs. His feet carried him without a second thought. Arthur was clad in only his pajamas and his robe. He must’ve been forced out of bed. The snow around him was stained crimson from where the life had spilled out of him.

Joel’s first thought was that he was dead, but then Arthur’s eyes flickered open to find Joel’s. The snow creaking under Joel’s shoes must’ve pulled him from his slowed death.

“Joel?” he croaked, blood spilling from his mouth.

“Don’t try ‘nd speak.” Joel’s voice came out colder than he’d expected. This couldn’t be real. Falling to his knees, Joel worked quickly, placing Arthur’s head gently in his lap as he found the source of the bleeding.

The blood oozed from a hole in his stomach. A bullet wound, most definitely. Joel put as much pressure on it as he could manage. His mittens drank the blood greedily, saturated by red. It just kept coming, the warmth coating his fingers.

What the fuck had happened?

Under him Arthur coughed, spilling more blood down his chin, coating his white beard in red. “Listen…”

Joel shook his head. This couldn’t be happening. This was just a bad dream. If he could just open his eyes, he’d be back in bed with you. He just needed to open his eyes.

“She’s alive,” Arthur managed to say, “They took her alive. Raiders–” another cough, “Broke in. Alma dead.”

The panic in Arthur’s face was almost too much for Joel to watch. His breath was heavy, breathing through this new information as his head spun with questions. Arthur’s eyes glazed over, and Joel knew there wasn’t enough time.

“Where is she?” he hurried, his hand lightly tapping Arthur on his cheek. He just needed to stay alive a little longer.

“Woods.” Was the only word Arthur could manage, as he used the last of his strength to point south.

An awful stench mixed with the smoke, and Joel knew Arthur was gonna die. His body couldn’t control itself anymore, ridding itself of the last of pieces of life. There was nothing beautiful about it. Nothing peaceful or dignified. Not how an old man like Arthur should leave this world.

Joel grabbed Arthur’s hand, it was clammy and cold, but it was the least he could do – Arthur wasn’t gonna die alone. He tried to think of something to say, anything at all, but the words died on his tongue.

“Alma…” Arthur whispered with his last breath, and Arthur’s hand went slack in his hand.

An eerie silence fell over the farm, safe from the fire crackling and moaning. Emotions raged inside Joel, fighting to bubble to the top. Anger, confusion, guilt, grief. A loud crack could be heard, like glass shattering, and it pulled Joel from his shock. He gently laid Arthur down on the ground, before he managed to rise on unsteady feet.

A loud noise started ringing in his ears, and Joel’s breath started coming out in an uneven pace. Shit. Joel tied a fist over his chest, his body tilting forward as he tried to catch his breath over the panic tying up his throat. He took a few shuffling steps before he hurled, gall burning his tastebuds as Joel vomited on the ground.

When he’d thrown up all there was in his stomach, Joel groaned. He ripped off the bloody mittens as quickly as he could, his hands digging into the white snow to wash his mouth of the bitter taste.

Joel burned inside and outside. Standing so close to the house, the heat was unbearable. Everything was unbearable. Sarah was dead, Tess was dead, Alma was dead, and Arthur was dead.

Could he take anymore grief? Joel wondered. How much grief was a man supposed to endure in a lifetime? None of this was fair.

Had he just gone back to the house for lunch, they’d all be alive. Had he not dragged her across the country to find his stupid brother, she’d still be alive. Had he not told that soldier she was hurt, she’d still be alive.

As he stared into the raging fire, Joel felt his own anger simmer to the surface. It pushed away all the grief, and the guilt, and sharpened his senses, made him laser focused. His arms and legs moved by their own accord, tugging the shotgun from his shoulder, before he started moving in the direction Arthur had pointed.

They were gonna pay for this. They’d made his world go up in flames and struck the match on their own life in return.

As Joel vanished into the night, he left a piece of himself behind. He was going to find you. He was going to hold you and kiss you again. Nothing or no one could come in the way of that.

Nothing could come in the way of Joel.

i hope someone liked this? i'm very curious about what your thoughts for the last part will be, so if you have them please leave a comment, reply or an ask. they are always super welcomed, and they make me super happy <3 other than that thank you for reading!!

next part -> here!

© shellshocklove, 2024 i do not give any permission to repost, translate, feed to AI or redistribute any of my writing, with or without credit!

[mrpenguinpants]

You are all I long for, all I worship, and adore.

— It's strange seeing your future selves being so close when you thought you both hated each other guts.

— Jing Yuan, Dan Feng (& Dan Heng) + Sunday

[Masterlist]

Suspend your disbelief for the timeline of lore, please.

Update: When I originally wrote this, I wanted to do an entire "Fly Me to the Moon," series of fics based on time travel. Hence the title. Shout-out to that one person who was waiting for me to write Sunday. I didn't, but I see you. It will happen soon.

Jing Yuan

This is the worst. The absolute worst thing ever. In the entirety of your living long life, this is the absolute worst moment so far. Were all the good times leading up to this moment? Did the Aeon's have some sick agenda, or were you randomly selected to be messed with today? If you had the option of eating literal trash bags for the rest of your life or continuing to live in this moment, you'd rather chew your own arms off. Maybe if you start now, you can save your future self the pain and humiliation of succumbing to...whatever this is.

"Aw, you were so cute when you were younger,” you - at least you think it’s you. This stranger wears the same face as you although a bit older. Perhaps alien would be a more fitting name? - this stranger coos as they cup Jing Yuan's face in their hands. Pinching cheeks with barely any fat on them with the sweetest smile you never knew you could even make. Jing Yuan, one of the seven Arbiter-Generals of the Xianzhou Alliance's Cloud Knights who stared down an actual Lord Ravager, looks two seconds away from bolting like a scared cat. He hasn’t moved an inch since this started and honestly, as mortifying as this is, it’s way worse for him than it is for you. So naturally, you’re turning a blind eye and holding Yangqing hostage from saving his precious general of sweet words and praises.

”I see we didn’t get along at this point in time,” a deep voice muses above you from a man you’re very blatantly pretending to ignore. An older Jing Yuan stands beside you, amused at his younger self having a barely contained stroke. If it wasn't bad enough that a future version of yourself suddenly appeared, Jing Yuan just had to follow. Always a nuisance no matter his age. Maybe if you hold your breath, you’ll pass out and everything will blow over. It sounds less painful than trying to eat yourself from the outside in any way. Before you can start, a hand, heavy yet somehow gentle, is placed on your shoulder. “I don’t recommend trying to self-induce a suffocation. Nor attempt any cannibalism on the self either.”

Okay. That’s creepy. Do senior citizens suddenly gain mind-reading powers? You’ve heard the story that if a man stays a virgin until he’s 30, he'll become a wizard. You let out a huff of amusement at that thought, maybe that’s what’s happening. That amusement gets cut short when you realize that somehow, you fell for this 30-year-old virgin. You refuse to accept that out of spite. That story was meant for short-life species anyway.

“For all intensive purposes, I’m choosing to believe this is a nightmare and the first step to waking up from one is to induce pain,” you answer blandly, your grip on Yanqing finally waning as the boy sprints in for the rescue. Only to get swept up in the storm as your other self switches her attention to the kid. Sticky fingers and starry eyes have Yanqing disarmed before he can even lift a finger to summon his ice sword, falling prey to the musing of a Xianzhou auntie. Nevertheless, Yanqing does his job correctly because it allows Jing Yuan to finally escape as he stumbles over to you and his other self.

"How far the mighty have fallen," you snicker behind your hand at how ruffled Jing Yuan looks. His hair is a bit fluffy from how many times your future self ran their hands through it, and his cheeks are a bit pink. Probably from all the pinching. There's even a deep chuckle next to you to accompany your words as Jing Yuan coughs into his fist before straightening up properly. You can see Yanqing being given sweets behind his back and that alone buys the kids complacency.

"My apologies for that," Jing Yuan says as the older Jing Yuan simply laughs in response. Unserious and unfretted in everything.

Huh, now that you look closer. He has laugh lines.

"It is I that should apologize. We have disturbed your schedule with our, ahem, compliments," Other Jing Yuan chuckles once again, as if the fact that he has time traveled into the past was a small "disturbance". Aeons, you hate this guy in every form.

They go back and forth, talking in that faux politeness that never truly goes anywhere before you finally had enough of this. You're not sticking around for this tea-time pleasantries any longer than you need to. It's the exact reason why you left your position as the "Divine Foresight Counselor" and passed it off to Qingzu as soon as you could. Unfortunately, you're going up against two Jing Yuan's, so the moment you shift your shoe to take a step back to remove yourself from the conversation, two pairs of golden eyes snap to you. One is smiling, the other is frowning.

"Heading off?"

"Where are you going?"

You look between the two, older and younger, and you can feel your head beginning to hurt. You let out a sigh, rubbing your forehead, before ultimately picking the lesser of two evils. If you have to look into those love-stricken soft eyes one more time, you might actually pass away.

"Out. You don't need me here anymore do you, General? Or do I require your dismissal now?" you ask bluntly, turning to the Jing Yuan you're used to. The one who's supposed to be in this timeline. "If you need anything, I'm sure Diviner Fu would love to be of assistance."

You don't bother to wait for Jing Yuan to say anything, pivoting on your heel and marching out of the Exalting Sanctum. You glance at your other self, a bitter feeling rising in your chest when they look at you disapprovingly. You can tell they want to say something but one brief look to the side, where the two Jing Yuans stand, and they close their mouth and turn around. Regardless, there's no reason for you to stick around longer. As long as the time travelers stay within the exalting sanctum, no one will know they ever appeared in the first place.

As you near the exiting doors, nodding to the guards on each side, you spare one last glance back. Your sudden departure hasn't halted anything and Jing Yuan is speaking to both his other self and you. Yanqing huddles close, one of his hands in your other self's hand, as he tries his best to participate in the discussion. Realistically, you should set aside your petty pride and march back to help. Do something other than running away and letting everyone else pick up the pieces for you. But the doors are already open and you need a sweet drink desperately.

There's been a growing sour taste on your tongue every time your Jing Yuan stares longingly at the other you.

Dan Feng

There isn't a single word to describe the situation you're in right now. Strange? Uncanny? Just super weird? You've seen and done a lot of weird things in your long life, but this is the absolute weirdest thing that has ever happened to you - and you've seen a star collapse before.

“If you keep making that expression, it’ll stick on your face,” Jing Yuan muffles his laugh under his hand, keeping up with your brisk pace as you not-so-subtly run away from the situation thrust into your hands. A tactical retreat you call it. You give Jing Yuan a pained grimace for a brief second before focusing straight ahead again.

“Jing Yuan, I will make sure your promotion to General is riddled with paperwork,” you say straight-faced. He knows you’re lying, you adore your pseudo-nephew too much to do that to him, but it does make him jolt and respectfully keep his mouth shut. However, in exchange, it makes the third pair of footsteps all the more louder. The source of your current predicament and Jing Yuan's amusement. You peer over your shoulder at the young man just to make absolutely sure that you're not hallucinating. A tall, slender young man with blue eyes, fair skin, and black hair stares right back at you before quickly averting his gaze back to the ground. Even with his unique coat and clothing, he has the splitting image of that old lizard. Even though this stranger is younger...and without a stick up his ass either.

He said his name was Dan Heng. A "traveling guard" for the renowned Astral Express. He had sworn on his life that he was telling the truth but that didn't change the fact of who he looked like. If Jing Yuan hadn't been there to vouch for him, then you would have attempted to throw him off the Luofu yourself. According to Jing Yuan, he found the young man "asleep" under one of the ginkgo trees, but otherwise wasn't doing any harm to anyone. He had just appeared with no way to return to where he came from.

At least you have one thing in common: you both don’t want to be here.

"So, are you a distant relative? Is this your first time visiting the Luofu? Oh! Are you here to visit him for vidyadhara business?" Jing Yuan spitballs one question after the other, his barely contained excitement shining through. He had slowed his pace to walk side-by-side with Dan Heng, illustrating the differences between them. Jing Yuan barely reaches Dan Heng's waist, the standard cloud knight uniform looking plain compared to the other's elaborate coat. Teal clashing with blue. Although, they match in their one red accessory flapping in the wind.

Dan Heng awkwardly coughs into his hand, before giving Jing Yuan a rather embarrassed look, "I don't think it'd be wise for me to say anything. If you have any questions, you should ask my teacher..."

Dan Heng shoots you a look as he says the word 'teacher', to which you raise an eyebrow right back. You've never seen this specific man in your life, let alone taken on any students. You don't even like kids that much unless their name is Jing Yuan and even, he isn't fully nestled in your heart. But that's another weird thing about this whole situation. This mysterious "teacher" apparently came along for the ride, yet the man won't spare a single detail about them. Vague descriptions that could be for anyone but wouldn't be a definite confirmation. All in all, it's been a headache and not something you wished to do on a bright and sunny morning. It's frankly out of your pay grade to be babysitting wandering travelers, even if they look like the High Elder.

“We’re here,” you call out, abruptly stopping your near sprint as you feel two bodies collide into your back. One has the decency to step back with an apology while the other clings to your arm as he peers around your waist.

"The forge?" Jing Yuan questions, tilting his head almost fully sideways as the three of you look up at the unassuming blacksmith shop.

"Yep, we're visiting the only adult of the group. Come on, Yingxing should still be inside," you say eyes forward but your arm reaches behind you to hold onto the retreating body of Dan Heng, who has been quietly trying to step away as soon as you confirmed just where you were. Jokes on him, you're the master of running away from your problems- retreating. You're the master at tactical retreating.

Although it’s muffled, you can hear some commotion going on inside. Maybe an unruly customer who didn’t read the fine print and is now venting their frustration? You share a look of confusion with Jing Yuan as you strong-arm Dan Heng into coming inside.

Entering the store, it looks relatively normal? There's nothing out of place or anything to show there was a scuffle, but the argument is getting louder sounding from the back of the store, into the forge. Which is strange for two reasons. Firstly, Yingxing may not be a dragon but he guards the forge with his life. Secondly, the only other people allowed in aren't even in the area. A mutual understanding passes through the three of you, Dan Heng finally giving up on trying to escape with the death grip you have on his arm, and you all tip-toe to the back door. Jing Yuan being the smallest reaches the door first, his head peeking out, your head above his as you squint into the room, and Dan Heng above yours with a look of defeat.

“You selfish old lizard! I’d outta cut your tail off right now for all the trouble you caused you senile son of a-“

"Please calm down, this is still the High Elder you're speaking to!"

What you see is something you'd never expect to see, and you need to reiterate that you've seen a literal star collapse. An older version of you is being held back by Yingxing as they throw threats and cusses at Dan Feng, who looks relatively unbothered by the promises to maim him.

“Teacher!”

Dan Heng, who has kept the most monotone voice imaginable since meeting him, suddenly pushes himself forward. A small "ah!" comes from Jing Yuan as he flops onto the floor from the sudden movement. A spear you've definitely seen before materializes in his hand as he goes to swing at Yingxing, only to be parried away by an identical spear. If you thought the tension between your first meeting with Dan Heng was rough, this feels like the Aeons themselves are fighting against each other. Yingxing and the other you have gone slack in surprise as two vidyadhara's who share the same face are kept at a standstill. Two cloud piercers pointed at each other, poised and ready to strike again, the air growing more humid with sticky beads of water vapor suspended in the air. Well, if you had any doubts about Dan Heng looking way too similar to Dan Feng, this pretty much confirms it. They're the same person.

Your eyes slide to the other you.

A falling star has nothing on this.

Sunday

There's something off about this entire situation, and there are enough oddities to begin with, but there's just something that doesn't sit right with you. Was there such a thing as a second puberty? Is that what a "mid-life" crisis was? Aren't you supposed to dye your hair and buy a sports car when that happens? Because the person walking next to you is certainly not you. They're too...peppy.

When you first saw the "future you", you had assumed they were a figment of someone's imagination. A dream perhaps? In Penacony, it would definitely be possible, but who would want to dream of you? The other you didn't seem that weird either, just a bit older and more well-mannered, but otherwise exactly the same. They had greeted you cheerfully, even coming up to shake your hand because "it was the polite thing to do when greeting friends.". You didn't know how to react to that wording so you brushed it aside. Maybe in the future, you're some big shot? That's kind of exciting to imagine.

"So...any idea how you got here?" you ask, turning to the other you. It's kind of funny that you're escorting yourself but you doubt the future you remember's the winding pathways the Bloodhounds take to the main base. Although your boss is quite nonchalant, Gallagher has always had a steady head on his shoulders. If you can't figure out a way to fix this time travel business, he can at least play damage control.

"I'm not entirely sure. I was about to set out to welcome some new friends on behalf of my husband, and then I was suddenly here. Oh, I hope he isn't upset with me for disappearing," your other self hums, a hand on their cheek, before quickly jolting up, "Ah, I guess I should say our husband now."

You let out an awkward laugh to match their giggle. Although your future self doesn't look that much older than you, it seems you managed to get hitched with someone great. They always seem to slip the word "husband" into every sentence, heck- you're making new friends because of him. Your mother would weep tears of joy learning that fact. Although it does make you curious just who your supposed husband is. The only man you see more than once in your life is Gallagher, and respectfully, he's not your type. But then who else? Perhaps one of the patrons? You've heard the news that the IPC sent a handsome gambler with beautiful eyes. Perhaps that's who you've fallen in love with? You don't want to ask because you don't want to mess up the timeline and frankly, you don't want to ruin the surprise. To be honest, even though you never thought about marriage, it kinda makes you giddy knowing that in the future, you seem to love your husband so much. A bit too much but it's probably the honeymoon phase train never stopping.

You still can't help but shake the feeling that something is horribly wrong.

There's just the slightest sinister curl in their smile. As if they're secretly laughing at the expense of everyone while keeping on an angelic facade. It's unsettling and makes chills down go your spine when it's your face that does it. The only time you've felt this sense of unease was when you accidentally stumbled into Gallagher's private meeting with the Head of the Oak Family. The Halovian had simply smiled, inquiring who you were and holding his hand out for you to shake. Your fingers had just brushed against his white glove when Gallagher stepped in, gripping your wrist hard enough for bruises, and forcibly pushed you out the door.

"Someone not important."

That's what your boss had said. You thought he spoke so harshly because he was pissed at you for possibly giving the Oak Family a bad first impression. He pretended it never happened and you never brought it up, afraid he might fire you from your job.

"I don't mean to pry, but are you alright?"

You blink, shaken out of your thoughts by your future self's question. They smile at you kindly, a slight tilt to their head as they wait for you to answer patiently.

"Oh! Sorry, I kinda spaced out there for a bit..." You let out an awkward laugh. Your voice sounds weak even to you, but the other you just nods in understanding. Perhaps it's because it's technically you that you're talking to, or that feeling of foreboding, that you feel like you need to explain yourself, "I guess I haven't been sleeping well. Gallagher has me running errands on the other side of Penacony in preparation for the Charmony Festival. Between you and me, I think he's dumping his errands on me so he can slack off."

Your lighthearted chuckle tapers off when the other you doesn't respond in kind to your joke. In fact, bringing up Gallagher's name has completely cleared their face from that prim and proper mask. Leaving behind a blank expression with disinterested eyes before a blink, and there's that same smile smeared on.

"You speak rather fondly of him. It seems I'm farther into the past than I originally thought," they mumble to themselves. Although you pick up on the words easily, you double-take just to make absolutely sure those words came from them. Sure, Gallagher isn't the most traditional-looking boss but he's not a bad person. Especially not to you. When you were looking for a job, he was the one to approach you out of the blue to work under him as a Bloodhound. If he never showed up, you would have most likely wasted away as a paper pusher for one of the families. He's always forgiven your mistakes and always offered to escort you home even though you can take care of yourself. So why is your future self so unfriendly to someone you currently hold in high regard?

"Oh uh...did something happen between us and Gallagher? I mean, I always suspected I'd get fired but I don't know, I always thought we got along. I mean, he has been acting a bit weird since that Oak Family Head came around but he's probably just stressed, right? Oh wait- I don't think we should be talking about this. I don't want to start a butterfly effect, especially so close to the festival-" you muse only to get interrupted.

"If I were you, I wouldn't trust that dog so easily," your other self spits with so much venom that you take a step away. Is it possible that you misjudged how close you were with Gallagher? Your other self talks about him as if he had betrayed them on a personal level. This shouldn't be possible because you and Gallagher have a strictly professional relationship. Unless you potentially knew him before you arrived in Penacony? To be fair, your memory gets a bit hazy looking back but you're sure you would remember someone like Gallagher.

"Wha- Hey, I don't know what happened but you shouldn't call him a dog-"

"We're here."

You stop in your tracks. What? We're here? You look up and realize that you've completely walked off the beaten path and happened upon a door. In fact, if you remember correctly, this was the door you stumbled into when you first met that Halovian. When did it become your other self escorting you rather than the other way around? You thought they wouldn't know these back alley pathways anymore.

"Why are we here?" you ask tentatively. Realistically, you know nothing bad will happen to you, at least not physically. You're their past. Whatever happens to you will affect them. A small scrape here will become a scar for them later.

"You haven't been sleeping well correct? I remember when I used to have headaches all the time. But you'll be okay now, he'll make things all better. While it's a bit early, I'm sure you'll understand. You are me after all," they smile sweetly, taking your hand in theirs as they pull you in front of the door.

"Come now, let's go meet our husband. He's been eagerly waiting for you for a long time."

---

Small author's note: I fell into a pit and wrote way too much. If I didn't cut it off, this fic would take another year to finish. That's why there's no real ending, lol.

[nhaaauyen]

is it casual now? ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

modern sev x reader au: after a shitty day at work, you go to the beach to release some stress, only for a certain coworker to show up.

series masterpost: floating wc: 4.2k author's note: everything that happened in this fic did actually happen with a girl I was seeing LMAOO (except for the kiss cause i was too shy) but i’ve been wanting to write an ode to this memory for so long! though the title was named after casual by chappell roan, i actually don't recommend you listen to it when you read this because this is anything but casual ~ My Song Recommendation

Sev: Why are you at the beach at 11PM? You: ? You: Why can't I be? Sev: Because it closes at 12am Sev: And you said before you don't go out past 11PM on workdays You: I didn't know you worked for the beach patrol Sev: Lol

You stare at your phone screen, watching the three message dots bounce back and forth. You know you're being an asshole, but you can't help the snappiness in your tone. Sevika never cared or talked to you outside of work before, so why does she suddenly care now?

The typing bubbles disappear and relief washes over you, but a small, masochistic part of you wishes she'd actually sent something.

Sev: Are you good?

The three-word question glares at you from the screen. 

Are you good? Absolutely not. 

But this is Sev, the woman who doesn't bother with greetings or a courtesy "How are you" despite working together for months. How do you answer a question that could unravel the emotions you're barely keeping at bay, especially to someone who's never asked before?

You: Yeah  You: I'll go soon so you don't have to stalk my location haha Sev: Alright

You stare at the tiny message bubble until the blue light stings your eyes. Finally, you shut off your phone and toss it onto your makeshift blanket.

The beach is eerily quiet save for the rhythmic crashing of waves against the shore. The moon hangs low in the sky, casting a silvery glow across the water and illuminating the foam as it rushes up the sand. You sit there as the incident at work replays in your mind for the hundredth time. Your head server's harsh words, the embarrassment of being scolded in public, the shame from how quick you were brought to tears - it all comes rushing back, making your chest tighten. 

The cool sand beneath your fingers grounds you somewhat and you inhale deeply, letting the briny scent of the ocean fill your lungs. 

A cool breeze picks up, causing goosebumps to rise on your arms. You shiver as you sit there, feeling small and vulnerable, and you can't help but wonder how you'll face everyone tomorrow. The thought makes your stomach churn, and you close your eyes, trying to shut out the world for just a little longer.

As you close your eyes, a new sound cuts through the sounds of waves crashing against the shore. The crunch of rubber tires over pebbles grows louder, and suddenly, a bright light washes over you. You squint, momentarily blinded by the harsh glare of headlights.

"You really had to make me search for you, Pagli?"

Your head whips around in shock, eyes wide as you see Sevika stepping out of her car. You scramble to your feet, brushing sand from your clothes.

"Sev? What are you— You didn't have to come here," you protest.

She approaches with a casual shrug. "Well, too bad, cause I was near here anyways. Had to make sure you weren't drowning or joining a beach cult."

You can't help but let out a small, incredulous laugh. "A beach cult? Really?"

"Hey, you never know," Sevika retorts with a smirk. "I don’t know what you like to do late at night."

You shake your head, trying to maintain your composure. "I appreciate the concern, but I'm fine. You should go home."

"Nah, I think I'll stick around," she says, plopping down on the sand next to where you were sitting. "Unless you've got some secret midnight rituals planned?"

You roll your eyes, but feel your resolve weakening. "You're stubborn as hell, you know that?"

"Part of my charm," Sevika replies with a wink. "Now, are you gonna sit back down, or do I have to drag you?"

After a moment's hesitation, you sigh and lower yourself back onto the sand. "Fine, you win. But don't expect me to be good company."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Sevika says softly, her tone gentler than before. "But I'm here if you want to talk. Or not talk. Whatever you need."

“I’m good.”  You replied.

“Fine with me.” 

As you sit in silence, Sevika reaches into her pocket and pulls out a joint. You can't help but shake your head in disbelief.

"You're unbelievable," you mutter.

She glances at you, eyebrow raised. "What?"

"Do you just have an unlimited source of that or something?"

Sevika just shrugs, a small smirk playing on her lips as she places the joint between them. As she fumbles for her lighter, she catches you staring and pauses.

"Do you want some?" she offers casually.

You hesitate, fingers fidgeting in the sand. "No... uh, I never tried."

Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Serious?"

"Yeah," you admit, feeling a bit self-conscious.

Sevika's expression softens slightly. "Well, Pagli, I'm in a sharing mood, so..."

You shake your head quickly. "Nah, I'm gonna embarrass myself. I don't know how to..."

"It's easy," she assures you. "Just inhale, hold it for a bit, and release."

You eye the joint warily. "Uh, shit... Yeah sure."

Instead of handing it over, Sevika brings the joint to her lips and lights it. You watch intently as she demonstrates, her cheeks hollowing slightly as she inhales. She holds it for a moment, then slowly exhales a stream of smoke into the night air.

Your eyes are fixed on her, taking in every detail of the process. There's something almost mesmerizing about the way the smoke curls from her lips, dissipating into the darkness.

Sevika turns to you, holding out the joint. "Your turn, if you want."

You hesitate, your heart racing a little. Part of you wants to refuse, to play it safe knowing that you wouldn’t risk humiliation in front of your coworker when you end up messing up, but another part of you was just completely over this day.

Slowly, you reach out and take the joint from her fingers, your skin brushing against hers for a brief moment.

You take the joint, bringing it to your lips with nervous anticipation. Trying to mimic Sevika's actions, you inhale deeply. Immediately, your eyes go wide as the smoke hits your lungs. You start coughing violently, your throat burning.

To your surprise, Sevika gently pats your back. "It's okay, Pagli! Damn. You just gotta practice some more."

As your coughing subsides, you realize this is the most Sevika has ever talked to you. It's oddly comforting, despite your embarrassment. You hand the joint back to her and she casually takes a puff, with her head leaning back slightly as she exhales.

"You're not cold?"

"No, why?" you ask, puzzled.

She gestures at your outfit. "Because you haven't changed out of your work uniform."

Instead of answering - because you know where that conversation would lead - you reach for the joint again. This time, you focus intently on mimicking Sevika's technique. You inhale, hold it for a moment, and exhale. There's still a slight cough, but it's significantly better than your first attempt.

"Hell yeah!" you exclaim, feeling a small surge of pride. "I sorta did it!"

Sevika gives you a half-grin that makes your heart skip a beat. "See? You're gonna be a pro soon." She pauses, her grin widening slightly. "But you're gonna get super hungry later at this rate."

Your eyes widen as realization hits you. "Oh fuck, you're right. I didn't bring any food," you say, a slight pout forming on your lips.

"I brought something," she offers, "but in exchange, you have to tell me what's going on."

You roll your eyes, you weren’t going to fall for that. "I can deal with it."

"Fine," she shrugs, "then no more." She makes a motion as if to put out the joint.

"What? I'm still practicing!" you protest. "What happened to trying to get me to the pro league?"

Sevika just laughs, the sound unexpectedly warm. "Sorry, there's an entry fee."

You sigh, knowing you're cornered. "Fine," you mutter, then barely above a whisper, add, "I fucked up bad at work today."

Her expression turns serious. "What do you mean?"

Taking a deep breath, you tucked a stray hair behind your ear and avoided eye contact. "There was this creepy guy at one of my tables. He kept specifically asking for random things like more napkins or refills, and I knew why he did that." You shudder slightly at the memory. "I wanted to switch with a male server, but we were too booked so I just tried to bear with it.  I didn’t think he would cross any lines since it looked like he was with family too."

Sevika listens intently as you continue, "It got too far when he kept making me uncomfortable, saying he would tip well if I gave him my number." Your hands clenched into fists in the sand. "So after I came back, I... I 'accidentally' spilled water on him."

You can't meet Sevika's eyes as you finish, "I knew it was unprofessional and petty, but I was so frustrated. After getting yelled at by the head server, it kind of hit me what I did."

As you fall silent, you feel a mix of shame and lingering anger. You wait anxiously for Sevika's response, afraid to see judgment in her eyes.

But Sevika's response catches you off guard. "He deserved it," she says firmly.

Your eyes widen in surprise. "Huh? But I made a mess because I couldn't keep my emotions in check. You know there are always going to be horrible customers..."

She cuts you off with a shake of her head. "Nah, he deserved it. It's a shame you couldn't stay to watch when I kicked him out and announced that he was trying to grope one of our servers in front of his entire family and the restaurant."

You stare at her incredulously for a moment before bursting out laughing. "No way? You actually did that?"

Sevika shrugs nonchalantly. "What's Silco gonna do? I'm the best general manager he's got." She pauses, a prideful glint in her eye. "Though our head server might need a bit of retraining."

You can't believe what you're hearing. Sev, the Sev, actually stood up for you. A wave of gratitude washes over you, and you suddenly feel shy.

"Thank you... for that," you murmur. "It meant a lot."

She just nods in response, a comfortable silence falling between you. Sevika passes you the joint again, and this time when you take a hit, you manage to do it without coughing. 

"I did it!" you exclaim, unable to contain your enthusiasm.

"Look at you, you might get into the Olympics next." She teased.

The tension from earlier completely dissipated, and you can't help but feel a newfound appreciation for Sevika.

"Okay, you gotta slow down now. This is your first time," Sevika warns, pulling the joint away as you reach for it again.

"Nooo, give it," you whine, making a half-hearted grab for it.

She shakes her head firmly. "Nuh-uh." Sevika puts out the joint despite your protests.  Then, without warning, she announces, "I'm lying down."

"What?" you ask, confused by the sudden change.

Sevika doesn't respond, just leans back onto an apron acting as your beach blanket. After a moment's hesitation, you did the same. It's only now that you realize how close she is. You can see the rise and fall of her chest, steady and rhythmic.

You close your eyes, letting the sensations wash over you. "Do you hear that?" you murmur. "The waves sound amazing." A small giggle escapes your lips.

"It's hitting you now," Sevika observes, amusement coloring her voice.

"Shhh, Sev. Listen," you insist, your voice barely above a whisper.  If only you didn’t close your eyes at that moment, because then you would’ve seen the shy smile appear on her lips at the nickname that she only lets you use on her.

As you concentrate on the sound of the waves, you became aware that you're also following the pattern of Sevika's breathing. It's oddly comforting, this synchronicity between her, you, and the ocean.

Curiosity gets the better of you, and you dare to look over at her. Your breath catches in your throat as you realize she's staring at you with those stormy gray eyes that never seem to reveal anything. The intensity of her gaze sends a jolt through you, triggering an immediate panic.

You sit up abruptly, your heart racing. Sevika follows, concern etched on her previously relaxed face. "What's wrong?"

"Uh, I'm hungry," you blurt out, desperate for a distraction.

Sevika just laughs, the sound rich and warm. "Here, I’m glad I brought this," she says, reaching into her pocket. She pulls out a colorful bag of sour gummy worms, the plastic crinkling loudly in the quiet night.

The sight of the candy, so unexpectedly bright in contrast to Sevika's stoic character, makes you laugh. You watch as she pulls out a gummy worm, the candy stretching slightly before she bites into it. The casual act feels strangely intimate in this moment, and you find yourself transfixed by the movement of her jaw as she chews.

"Want one?" she asks, holding out the bag to you.

Your fingers brush against hers as you reach for a candy, sending another small shiver through you. As you pop the gummy worm into your mouth, the burst of sour flavor feels like a shock against your tongue.

While you devoured practically half the bag, Sevika stretches languidly before lying back down on the sand. You followed suit, turning to face her. This time, feeling way less sober than the beginning, you don't shy away from her gaze.

You notice one of her usually tucked fringes has come loose, falling softly across her forehead. Your fingers twitch with the urge to brush it back, but you manage to restrain yourself.

Sevika's eyes are fixed on you, her expression softer than you've ever seen it. "I'm tired," she mumbles, her voice low and slightly husky. "I want to sleep... this feels nice."

A dopey smile spreads across your face at the sight of her uncharacteristic vulnerability. "Do it," you encourage gently.

"Wake me up in a bit?" she asks, her eyelids already starting to droop.

"Of course," you assure her.

As Sevika's eyes close, you sit there, taking in the moment. You listened to the rhythm of her breathing mix with the sound of the waves and the refreshing sea breeze. 

Suddenly, Sevika makes a noise that's almost like a whine. "It's cold," she murmurs, not opening her eyes.

"Really?" you ask, surprised.

"Yeah," she confirms. Then, to your shock, she says, "Come here."

Before you can process what's happening, Sevika is draping her red jacket over both of you. The action brings you even closer to her, and your brain struggles to keep up with this new development.

You find yourself studying Sevika's features up close. Her nose, which you've always thought was cute but never dared to admit, her long lashes resting against her cheeks, and the scar that runs across her cheekbone.

The warmth of her body so close to yours, the scent of her cologne mingling with the salt air, the soft sound of her breathing - it all combined to create a moment so intimate and unexpected that you feel almost dizzy with it. You're acutely aware of every point where your body is almost, but not quite, touching hers.

Your heart is pounding so loudly you're sure she must be able to hear it. But Sevika's breathing has evened out, suggesting she's drifting off to sleep. You lie there, barely daring to move, caught between the desire to savor this moment and the fear of disturbing her.

You find yourself caught in Sevika's gaze as her eyes slowly flutter open. The moonlight reflects in her dark irises, creating an almost ethereal effect. 

"What are you staring at?"

Your heart skips a beat. "You," you reply without thinking, then immediately feel heat rush to your cheeks.

A smirk plays at the corner of Sevika's lips. "Mmm... you're plotting my murder, right?"

You can't help but chuckle softly. "Haha, of course.  I’ve been waiting months for this moment.”

"Damn," she sighs dramatically, through her eyes sparkled with amusement. "At least I get a gorgeous view before my final moments."

The air between you suddenly feels charged. You fall silent, profoundly aware of every breath, every subtle movement. Sevika's hair has fallen across her face, obscuring part of her scar. Without really thinking about it, you reach out, gently tucking the errant strand behind her ear.

As you start to pull your hand back, Sevika's fingers wrap around your wrist. Her touch is gentle, a stark contrast to her usual brusque demeanor. You freeze, your breath catching in your throat.

"Don't," she whispers, her voice barely audible over the soft lapping of waves.

Sevika holds your hand gently, her calloused fingers tracing over yours with surprising tenderness. She examines each fingertip as if committing them to memory. Just as you're getting lost in the intimacy of the moment, she breaks the silence.

"You got tiny ass hands, Pagli.”

You blink, taken aback. "Excuse me?"

Sevika bursts out laughing, the sound rich and wonderful. Her head tilts back, revealing a full set of stunning teeth. The sight momentarily captivates you, but you quickly recover, determined not to let her win this moment.

"You know, I was only trying to steal the gummies," you retort, trying to keep a straight face.

Her eyebrow arches challengingly. "Really? Come and get it then."

Before you know it, you're both wrestling on the makeshift blanket. Sand flies everywhere as you tussle, laughter filling the air. It's been so long since you've felt this carefree, this alive. Your worries from earlier seem like a distant memory now.

Somehow, you manage to gain the upper hand. You find yourself practically pinning Sevika down, your faces mere inches apart. You can feel her warm breath on your skin, catching the faint scent of weed. Your heart races, and for a moment, you're tempted to close that small distance between you.

Instead, you break the tension by snatching the bag of gummies from her grasp. "I win!" you declare triumphantly.

But even as you say it, the victory feels hollow. The gummy bag hangs limp in your hand as you watch Sevika accept defeat with surprising grace. She's still beneath you, her chest rising and falling with each breath, her eyes locked on yours.

You wish you could reach out and caress her face, trace the line of her scar, feel the softness of her skin again. The urge is almost overwhelming, but you hold back, unsure of how she'd react. The moment stretches between you, filled with unspoken words and possibilities.

Sevika pats the spot next to her, inviting you back. You settle in, acutely aware of her warmth beside you. Her eyes, dark and curious, search your face.

"What are you thinking about now, Pagli?" she asks softly.

Before you can stop yourself, the words tumble out. "I want to play with your hair."

Immediately, heat rushes to your face. You're about to stammer an apology when Sevika takes your hand, guiding it to her hair. The silky softness surprises you, and you can't help but run your fingers through the strands.

Sevika's eyes flutter closed, a contented sigh escaping her lips. Encouraged, you begin to gently massage her scalp, marveling at how relaxed she seems.

"What does Pagli mean?" you whisper.

A smirk plays on Sevika's lips. "Crazy girl," she replies without skipping a beat.

"Huh?!" You're not sure whether to be offended or flattered.

"It's because you do crazy and bold things. I like that about you."

Your stomach flutters with warmth at the admission. Sevika leans into your touch, murmuring, "That feels amazing."

Gradually, she shifts closer, until her head is tucked against your chest. You can feel the steady pace of her breathing, the warmth of her body against yours. Without really meaning to, you find yourselves practically spooning.

As you stretch out, your feet brush against her shins, and you realize just how much taller she is. It's oddly endearing, this contrast between you. Your fingers continue their gentle exploration of her hair, occasionally trailing down to trace the curve of her neck.

The moment feels soft, intimate in a way you never expected. The sound of waves provides a soothing backdrop, and the moonlight casts a gentle glow over you both. You're struck by how vulnerable Sevika looks like this, all her usual sharp edges softened.

You want to say something, to put into words the feeling blooming in your chest, but you're afraid to break the spell. So instead, you hold her close, savoring the unexpected comfort of this moment, wondering how something so beautiful could arise from such a difficult day.

You keep replaying the moment when Sevika's strong arms practically dragged you into cuddling her. The memory sends a pleasant shiver down your spine. Your hand moves almost of its own accord, slowly rubbing circles on her back. You hear her sigh contentedly, the sound filling you with a warmth that has nothing to do with the physical closeness.

Just as you're sinking deeper into this blissful moment, bright white lights suddenly flash on, startling you both. A loud voice booms across the beach: "THE BEACH IS CLOSING IN 10 MINUTES. PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY BACK TO THE PARKING LOT."

"Urghhh," you groan.  You instinctively buried your face into your hands.

Sevika's response is even more vocal - she lets out a louder, more dramatic groan that vibrates through her chest and into yours. The sound is so unexpected and so uncharacteristically cute, that you can't help but laugh.

Your laughter seems to break the spell. Sevika lifts her head, her hair mussed from your earlier attentions, and gives you a mock glare that's softened by the smile tugging at her lips.

"What's so funny, Pagli?" she asks, her voice husky with lingering sleep.

"Nothing," you say, still chuckling. "Just... I never pegged you for a whiner."

Sevika rolls her eyes. "Yeah, well, don't get used to it," she grumbles.

You lean in close to Sevika, whispering conspiratorially, "They can't kick us off if we hide in the sand, right?"

"Yeah, or if we stay really still," she adds, barely suppressing a grin.

You both freeze comically, trying to blend in with the beach around you. But as the final announcement blares across the sand, you finally admit defeat.

As you both reluctantly start to gather your things, you can't help but steal glances at Sevika. Her hair is tousled, her clothes rumpled from lying on the beach, and there's a softness to her expression that you've never seen before. It makes your heart do a little flip in your chest.

Just as you're about to lead the way back, Sevika suddenly grabs your hand, pulling you back towards her. Before you can react, her lips are on yours.

You were suddenly frozen, till your brain practically yelled, Fucking kiss the hot girl back you dumbass! Your hand immediately slides into her hair, and you respond back to the kiss with the same ferocity.  All the tension that's been building between you tonight finally finds its release. Her lips are softer than you imagined, moving against yours with a passion that takes your breath away.  

But the moment was short-lived when it was cut short by another blaring announcement. 

Sevika breaks away, growling, "I'm going to break that speaker."

You can't help but laugh at her annoyance, the sound bubbling up from the happiness overflowing in your chest. You lean in, giving her a quick peck on the lips. "C'mon, we can continue this later."

Sevika nods, a small but genuine smile playing on her lips. She has that look on her face, that is just so content and full of adoration that your legs practically felt like jelly.

“Race you back to the car, loser has to buy dinner!” You yell as you spirit across the sand.  

You were fortunate enough to get a head start because once Sev realized what was happening, you could already see a blur of her movement closing the distance through the corner of your eye. Your hair whipped wildly in the wind along your combined unadulterated, giddy laughters echoing in the night air.  

With her athletic build, she easily caught up to you but instead of surpassing you, her hand found yours. Her fingers intertwined with yours, fitting perfectly. The warmth of her palm against yours feels like the most natural thing in the world.

You two slowed your pace into an amble, the sound of waves fading behind you. Every so often, you steal glances at Sevika, still hardly believing this night has been real.

When her car comes into view, Sevika gives your hand a gentle squeeze. You turn to look at her, finding her eyes already on you, soft and full of something that makes you unsure of whether this moment was a dream or not.

Sevika tugs you closer, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "We should do this again sometime," she murmurs against your skin. "Minus the getting kicked off the beach part."

You chuckle at the joke and tuck your head into her chest, listening to her heartbeat. Thump. Thump.

"Thank you," she says quietly, her voice a small murmur above your ear, "for making a shitty day end beautifully."

You smile, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. 

"Thank you for finding me."

[hannieween]

spotlight | lights out series

In the aftermath of that night when everything changed, Joshua has to pick up the pieces of his own doing.

✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader x yoon jeonghan ✮ genre: angst, fluff, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, boyfriend joshua, theatre director jeonghan, best friend jeonghan ✮ word count: 16.9k

› 🎧: am pm – jay b ft. whee in | lover – b.i | switch it up – jay b | lights out – sunmi ft. be'o | planet girl – jooyoung, pH-1 | skyline – i.m | closer to you – jung kook ♡

→ season one – navi post – read more

› smut warnings under the cut

✮ warnings: descriptions of food, food and alcohol consumption, smut with plot, joshua is toxic and kind of manipulative, multiple sex scenes, sub joshua, dom reader, oral sex (m), unprotected sex, body worshipping, creampies, morning sex, slight exhibitionism, a bit of cuddle fucking, cowgirl, bondage, sensory deprivation, overstimming, edging. pet names: bunny, baby, beautiful (hers) baby, baby boy, handsome (joshua's)

✮ author's note: this story takes up after the city lights series. i highly recommend you check that fic out before diving into this one if you haven't already... or you might be a little bit confused.

✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part i

You clawed at the bedsheets wrapping your body.

Sweat covered your neck as your fingers clenched around the soft fabric of the creamy white bed sheets you were writhing under. You sank the side of your face on the pillow below you, muffling out a short moan.

The side of your body was comfortably lying on your mattress, softly creaking as Joshua moved behind you under the bed sheets, keeping a steady pace on the push and pull he had commenced not two minutes ago.

Your boyfriend was breathing hard on the crook of your neck, moaning softly every time he pushed inside your walls, the front of his body cuddling your back, keeping one of his large hands flat on your tummy to keep you in place for him to fuck you slowly.

One of the things Joshua discovered about himself is that he loved morning sex. In his past relationships, he didn't think too much about it. Granted, he was never big on vanilla sex.

But something about waking up next to you, wholly naked under the bed sheets, your face being the first thing he sees, your soft humming the first thing he hears.

The first few times he woke up next to you as soon as he moved into your apartment, right after he finished touring and recording an album, you were the first one to wake up. And those times you usually left the bed before he woke up, only for him to catch up with you making breakfast.

But now that he had grown familiar with your routine and you with his, he was the one who was waking up before you did.

And Joshua Hong swore he could fall in love twice over.

Somehow he learned to wake up silently, so he wouldn't wake you up in the process, knowing how much of a light-sleeper you were.

Sometimes he would just lie there with his eyes closed, either cuddling you or just lying by your side.

Something would brighten up inside him every time you would unconsciously search for him, either turning over the bedsheets to cuddle him up, lacing your leg with his. Or whenever you were already snuggling him, you would just bump the tip of your nose against him.

It was as if, in your dreams, you would reach out to him, to make him hold you as if you were in your own world, resting peacefully.

But this morning he was just so bundled up in your warmth and in your love that he just couldn't resist himself.

Joshua had to wake you up with kisses on your shoulder to let you know of his intentions, and to his surprise, you immediately caught on, arching your back for him to have easy access to your warm walls.

So there he was, madly in love, drunk on you, pushing your body as he breathed hard on the curve of your neck, getting glimpses of you holding onto the bed sheets every time he blinked dazedly.

"Baby," Joshua half moaned, half sighed as he closed his eyes. "I love you."

The sound those words elicited from you, made him smile, turning his head to litter kisses on your cheek, and down your neck.

"I love you, Josh," you replied, sounding as if trapped in a trance, so dreamy, breathily moaning out his name.

"Yeah?" he sighed. "Are you gonna come with me?" he asked, hearing your increasingly louder moans.

"No, no, not yet," you replied, your fist leaving a bundle of sheets, diving under the bed sheets to meet his hip, holding onto him. "Please, it feels so good.."

"Okay, okay," he whispered hurriedly. "Fuck," he gasped softly, slipping out of your sopping walls by pulling his hips backward.

"Joshua!" you gasped, turning your head to see him, squeezing his eyelids shut in focus.

"Sorry baby," he sighed with a smile, opening one eye first to see your obfuscated face.

"It's okay," you smiled sweetly when you understood that he was close to his climax.

"Turn over for me," he rasped, nodding his head to the pillows.

Joshua experienced something unusual to him, like a lightning bolt piercing his chest when you smiled at him giddily before turning face down on the pillows, knowing what he wanted to do.

The love he felt for you was so intense it could literally cause him pain.

But he got to his knees on the bed, not letting you wait for him any longer, he moved on top of you, each of his knees at the sides of your hips as you instinctively lifted your ass up for him, uncovering your wet pussy for him.

Joshua smiled when something in his mind reminisced on the days you were getting a feel of each other, just two total strangers giving themselves into carnal desire.

And now, he couldn't imagine a life without you.

He brought down a hand on one of your buttcheeks, not hard, but just about enough to get a squeal out of you, followed by a sweet laugh from your part that sent a blissful shudder through his body.

You looked over your shoulder, propping your weight on your elbows to watch him with an excited glint in your eyes. Without more pause, he just grabbed his wet cock, driving it inside you in one go.

It was nearly electric, the feeling of being inside your engulfing warmth, the fluttering, the wetness, you, you, you.

You dropped your face flush into the pillows to muffle a raw cry of pleasure. This position made it so that his cock teased a particular sweet spot in your walls that instantly had you wailing like a mad woman.

"Joshua..." you sighed against the pillows.

His head lolled back slightly, giving himself into the blissful pleasure and desperation to feel you whole, to make you feel good, to hear your voice call out his name in raw cries.

So he just started moving his hips back and forth, pumping his cock inside your warm walls, moaning at just how wet you were.

"Joshua, Joshua..." you continued as he fucked you deeper, the back and forth of his hips made the bed frame creak and budge against the wall of the bedroom, quite evidently telling the new neighbors that it was another one of those mornings.

"I know, baby," he sighed back, grabbing you by the hips to keep your ass up and cunt angled for him, watching his front hit your plump cheeks, the recoil, the dents his fingers were creating as his hands held you steady for him to fuck.

"Oh, god," you rasped loudly against the pillow, your hands balling into fists on the pillowcase. "Oh god, Joshua..."

"Are you close, bunny?" he called in a gasp, groaning in frustration as you shook your head on the pillow.

"Harder," you sighed, lifting your head to cast a look over your shoulder, your eyebrows knitting in a plea as you added. "Please, fuck me harder, Josh."

"We'll get another noise complaint," he grinned, reading the dilemma that set in your furrowed brow.

Joshua couldn't care less about the new neighbors. As soon as they moved in two weeks ago, he knew they would be a problem. When you were notified about the noise complaint, Joshua just knew it was them.

"Hmn?" he changed the pace of the back and forth of his hips on you, fucking you with shallow thrusts. It was not as deep as you preferred, but still good.

You groaned in frustration and buried your face on the pillow again.

"Baby, give me an answer," he laughed heartily. He knew he could continue fucking you slowly just to tease you.

But he was also aching to come.

"Do it," you breathed, nodding with your head before casting another look. "Please, baby, I'm gonna be quick, just, please, I want it harder..."

Joshua smiled at your resolve before commencing to plow on you, retreating his hips and thrusting forward with a hard and fast pace, his front slapping against your ass, causing the recoil to be more prominent, making him moan at the sight.

But your moans, oh, they were the cause for the noise complaints, he was sure. It wasn't the bed frame hammering against the wall, or the loud creaking of the mattress, or even his own moans.

You were wailing now, crying out his name in bliss and pleasure pleading him to never stop, to keep going, to go harder.

And he was just too complacent to not let you have what you want.

"I'm coming, Josh, c-coming!" you cried out, gripping the pillowcase, turning your head so he could see your pretty cum face of your eyebrows knitting, your mouth falling open.

"Fuck," he sighed, his fingers digging into your skin to focus in not changing his pace for his own pleasure, he kept plowing on you as you came undone on his cock, your whiny moans flooding the room paired with the banging on the wall from the other side.

"Josh..." you sighed as you slumped down on the pillow.

"I'm there, oh fuck, baby..." he moaned, ignoring the urgent thumping on the wall. He threw back his head, a long, moany exhale coming out of him as he spilled himself inside you finally, his hands grabbing your hips to fuck you into him languidly until he spilled the last drop of his cum in you.

You were breathing out sweet moans as he stopped thrusting in and out of you slowly and sloppily, hearing the banging on the wall with a sly grin on his face, being accentuated when you groan in utter embarrassment against the pillow.

Joshua sighed in complete joy and adoration when you sneaked a look over your arm, laughing in excitement and shame, partly enjoying the loud exhibition of your love at very early hours in the morning.

"Good morning, baby," he sighed, a small groan spilling along.

"Morning, Josh," you replied cutely.

"Hungry?" he breathed with a lazy grin on his face.

"Umn, yeah," you replied aloofly, sinking into your pillow again to enjoy the gentle aftershocks of your orgasm.

He also needed a minute to catch his breath and for his brain to come down to reality and gather up that the neighbors might take an issue with them again.

But he couldn't care less.

You, on the other hand, were mortified.

"Should we... go talk to them?" you asked with a tiny voice, lying motionless below his body.

"And tell them what?" Joshua sighed a smile, running his hands from your lower back upwards, caressing your skin lovingly.

"That we're sorry!" you gasped, but there was a small giggle that quivered in your tone.

"Sorry about what?!" Joshua protested with a faux scandalized tone. "Sorry that we have a good sex life and they don't?"

"Maybe not that, but, sorry that we're loud might work," you retorted.

"I wasn't loud, you were," Joshua teased.

"Josh!" you sent him a glare. "We both were."

"Fine, fine," Joshua conceded with a breathy chuckle. "I could get soundproof padding for the walls and something for the bed frame so it doesn't bang on the wall," he offered, taking your worry seriously.

"Isn't that going overboard?" you inquired with honest curiosity.

"Yes... but also no," he pondered. "I think it would work, and stop the complaints."

"Mmff," you sighed and turned your face flush against the pillows again.

"Come on, baby," he muttered as he pulled his hips back, thus slipping out of your wet walls.

"Just give me a minute," you mumbled on the pillows.

"I'll be waiting for you in the shower," he slapped your ass teasingly one more time and laughed when your squeal was muffled in the pillow.

Joshua had no issue settling in your apartment. When he got back from touring and from all of the appointments he had outstate, you had already made space for him. And he had spent so many nights there that it already felt like home.

But he was convinced that the homely feeling came from your company.

He was just stepping below the shower head when he felt your arms wrapping around his waist, hugging him from behind. You pressed your cheek on his back.

"Hi baby," he sighed, not caring that it was about two minutes ago that he had said just that.

"Is it my turn to make breakfast?" you muttered, pressing small kisses on his back, between his shoulder blades before reaching out with one arm to get the bottle of shampoo.

"Would you like to get breakfast somewhere?" he asked you as he finished rinsing out the shampoo from his golden brown hair. "We could go to that place you like with the banana pancakes..."

"I mean you gotta let me make breakfast one day," you giggled sweetly as you busied your hands on your hair, your fingers massaging shampoo into your scalp made Joshua turn and pay attention to you.

He had been doing that lately. He paid attention to things you do for yourself, no matter how simple or how meaningful they were. He knew that you had changed the color of the polish in your nails, you trimmed your hair and added some new touches here and there.

But also, you also have gotten into some new habits. Such as trying to fix your sleep, you go to the gym more frequently, not as an on and off thing anymore, you go out with your friends more, and the biggest thing he has noticed, is that you did all of this to hide the sadness you actually felt.

It had been weeks since you last talked with Jeonghan. An event that you weren't to talk about with Joshua yet, but he could see that whatever happened, left you pretty bad.

Joshua knew already that he needed to give you time. And he promised you he would be patient if that was what you needed. He didn't need to know what had happened that time you talked, in truth, he ached to hold you, to make you happy again by whatever means necessary.

"We could also go to the book shop afterwards," Joshua offered with a hollow tone, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible but he knew that you were avoiding going out today.

"Okay, that's how I know you're up to something, Mr. Hong," you smiled as you tilted your head to raise your hair.

"I just want to pamper you, Ms. Hong," he joked, but his tone dropped as he uttered those last two words. "Take you on as many dates as possible."

"Mmn, then you got a date, mister," you replied with a playful grin, sliding your arms on his shoulders and locking your wrists behind his neck. "But you gotta let me make breakfast someday, you know. I'm not a bad cook."

Joshua chuckled, but your lips muffled his laugh as he tried to get back at you. "I know, baby. Just let me take you out today."

"Maybe you're just getting away with doing the dishes," you said with a lower and velvety tone.

He was struck with so much adoration for you when he noticed that you were flirting with him. The corners of your eyes were smiling, and the glint in your eye told him that you were feeling the same too.

"You got me," he whispered, dipping his head to meet your lips.

"Mmn, you little deviant," you muttered sultrily, smiling in his lips.

He felt a hand cup his chin as your tongue touched his lower lip. "Look who's talking," he replied when your other hand roamed all over his body, feeling his lean chest first, sliding down to feel the toned muscle of his abdomen.

"I learned from the best," you replied, circling your hands to his back.

Joshua laughed breathily into your mouth.

You clapped your hands giddily as the plate was set in front of you. There sat a fluffy banana pancake, decorated with berries and honey.

Joshua sat just across your seat on the small round table, he was pretending to type something but in reality he was snapping a photo of you looking at your meal.

The first bite made you sway your body in tiny motions, like a little dance with your fists bundled up at your sides as you chewed on your food merrily.

And he watched you in complete delight. Setting his phone down on the table to take a bite from his own plate. "Good?" he muttered as you took another generous bite with near maddening joy.

Food made you happy, in the month he had been living with you he had learned more and more about your favorite foods and general eating habits. So he knew that sugary breakfasts were accompanied with coffee.

You set your mug and licked your lips. "Amazing," you sighed, resuming to eat more banana pancakes.

"Mm," he nodded with a small pleased smile on his face. "Oh, my mom asked about you," he suddenly remembered.

You almost choked on your mouthful. "Huh?!" you uttered as your round cheeks from the food gave you a comical expression. "W-what? Why? When?"

"I think it was... yesterday actually," he mentioned, thoroughly enjoying your reaction. "I told her we could meet one day for dinner or lunch soon."

You swallowed your bite with a bewildered look in your eyes. "Oh, of course why not," you nodded. "I could cook something, I can make a mean lasagna."

A twist in his stomach in pure fondness made him pause when you took on a proud look for yourself. "Oh yeah?" he teased: "Why haven't I tried your lasagna?"

"Because," you elongated the word. "You, mister, keep me out of the kitchen nearly everyday. You don't let me cook for you."

"That's not true," he retorted with a smirk. "It's not everyday."

"I'm not complaining though," you muttered as you pointed at him with your fork.

"I know you aren't," he chuckled.

"Mmm," you hummed as you took another sip of coffee. "Tell mom she's invited to dinner at our place next friday."

"Will do," he smiled, from both your assertiveness and the cuteness you exhibited suddenly.

"Thanks for breakfast, Josh," you muttered, linking your arm with his, your hand grabbing on his bicep comfortably as you both walked on the sidewalk.

"Don't mention it, beautiful," he smiled at you.

Your eyes were marveling at the sight of the cherry blossoms flanking the street you both walked. The grip of your hand on his bicep shifted and tightened, directing a smile at him as you teased him a bit, using the bulge of his arm as a stress ball.

"You're bulkier," you grinned.

"You've mentioned it," he replied in kind.

"I like it," you said and tilted your head to the side so your temple touched his shoulder briefly.

"All for you, baby."

The giggle that spilled from you echoed in his mind. Joshua slipped into what he felt was something that felt like a daze as you aloofly started to hum a tune that you were improvising on the spot. You did that, he noticed, you hummed a beautiful tune happily for two or three seconds and started it again.

Joshua grabbed your hand from his bicep and laced his fingers with yours to then kiss your knuckles one by one, slowly as you both walked down the street.

The sunlight slipped through the branches of the cherry blossom trees, shining in against your beautiful hair, making your cheeks grow hot and when you looked back at him, you smiled, noticing that he was lost in thought.

"Do you want to make a stop at the book shop?" he nodded his head to the small bookshop on the corner of the street.

You pondered for a second, but Joshua knew what your answer would be from the way you were pouting cutely.

"Maybe an hour," you decided.

Joshua pushed the door open for you. "That's what you said last time."

"But last time they had new titles," you countered and giggled shamefully. "Okay, maybe two hours."

"Take as long as you need, baby," he muttered, letting go of your grasp as you were swiftly taken away by the new shiny covers on display.

Joshua gravitated towards you in the maze of shelves, acting as if he were just as interested in the books surrounding you. But he was more raptured by you, by the wonder in your eyes as you picked up book by book to read the covers, to open them up carefully and peer inside.

He just stuck around you, picking up books to just settle them back to their place without even so much as reading one word. You skirted around the shelves, while he just wavered in the distance.

That was until his eyes caught sight of your pen name on a book. Rows of a glossy cover under a sign that said best seller sat the book that was partly responsible for him being there.

Almost as if the book had a magnetic pull on him, he brought one copy from the shelf. Joshua only recognized the book by the title and obviously your pen name, but he realized that he hadn't really paid attention to the work on the illustrated cover.

He remembers seeing it at some point, but almost beat himself up for not paying more attention to it. The cover was pretty, totally eye-catching, but he knew the contents were much, much more impressive.

Joshua read the final manuscript, he also had to read all of your annotations. But it was the first time in a month after the release that he actually held a copy of your book.

He felt dumb for a second. How didn't he get a copy before?

You were submerged in a different book, rows of shelves and far away from him, swaying your body gently to the soft music playing on the speakers overhead.

The first page of your book started with a dedication. Joshua first saw his name written in it, and his stomach dropped.

To Joshua, my favorite plot twist, my endless inspiration. I love you.

Cursing to himself, he slowly closed his eyes. There was no excuse for missing something like this. Not work, not whatever it was that bothered him. This was important to you, your greatest achievement so far, and you dedicated it to him.

And he is just finding it out. A month later.

He thought of something to say to you, an apology, anything.

But at that moment, his phone buzzed in the pocket of his jacket. Pulling it out he saw flashes of a series of notifications from his new management team.

With a resigned sigh, he opened the messages to read that Midnight Haze had secured a bunch of dates for upcoming concerts the weekend after their first self titled album release.

It was huge for him, but it was instantly overshadowed by the thought of leaving you behind again for several weeks at a time. He had been enjoying his quiet life with you so far, and it amazed him how much it bothered him that his career success was not as important to him anymore.

The problem was not that he would leave you alone. Joshua still had trouble with the thought of you hiding away in your study for weeks, being lonely while he goes away and lives the life of a rockstar.

But what bothered him the most was that he was about to leave you when you were going through something that he knew was taking away your sleep, something that had broken your heart.

Joshua knew that Jeonghan had stopped talking to you some weeks ago. After the night of the threesome, and he very evidently showed how he felt about you, you tried to reach him, to talk about it. But he just said he needed time.

Time went by, and you got sadder. Sometimes he heard you in the middle of the night, crying alone. He would ask you about it but you just said you were alright, you said you also needed time. So Joshua gave you that.

But Joshua could not shake the feeling that he was responsible for it all. Deep down he knew that this mess was caused by everyone involved. Still, he was the one that suggested Jeonghan to get closer to you, to be friends. He was the one that left you for weeks and eventually stopped talking as frequently.

What will happen now when he leaves? He knew he would only carry that guilt with him.

Sometimes he missed when he was just a singer in an independent band that had some shows at local bars every now and then. If that were still the case, he would not have to leave you behind.

"Would you like an autograph, sir?" your cute voice snapped him out of his mental turmoil.

Lifting his head up, he found you standing in front of him, unbeknownst to the messages showing on his phone screen sitting on the palm of his hand. You were looking at the copy of your book in his other hand.

"Allow me to buy the copy first, miss," he replied.

"Oh, no don't do that," you muttered, immediately dropping your act. "I was just joking, you don't have to buy it."

"Why don't you like to have copies of your books at home?" he inquired with genuine curiosity.

You shrugged slowly, fingers tracing shapeless doodles over the spine of a book you picked up. "I like to keep my space separate from my work," you smiled shamefully, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "I know it's silly, but I like to pretend that the writer and I are different people."

Joshua tilted his head to one side. "That is a bit more confusing," he chuckled softly.

"Well, that's because you're famous, you like the public acclamation, the fame," you disputed, snatching the book from his hand and placing it back to where he initially found it. "And I don't."

"I'm not famous," he immediately battled, with a shy smile painting his ears red. "And I don't like fame either."

"Yeah right," you quipped with a grin. "I'd beg to differ."

He stretched an arm and grabbed the copy of your book again. "I'm taking this if you don't mind," he said with a faux serious expression. "And I'm getting that autograph."

"What, no, Josh," you pronounced his name with a giggle. "Don't buy it, we have the manuscript at home."

"You can't sign the manuscript," he rolled his eyes and laughed when you tried to grab the book from him but he just kept it in the air and out of your reach.

"What do you want a signed copy for?" you sent him a glare that only made him laugh harder.

"This one has a pretty cover," he shrugged and turned away from you and started walking to the counter to pay.

"Josh!" you gasped and fell into step behind him.

"I expect my autograph," he said, pulling out his phone to pay.

The cashier sent you a look and then to Joshua, who just dismissively smiled, his nose wrinkling a bit in the process. He could see from the corner of his eye how you just sighed in resignation.

"Bunny," Joshua said as he followed you out of the book shop.

"Yes?" you lifted your eyes to lock with his.

"I... thank you for the book dedication," he muttered, grabbing your hand to lace your fingers with his. "I really appreciate it, baby."

"You don't have to thank me for that, Josh," you giggled sweetly. "That's me literally saying thanks for being there, for helping me."

Joshua paid attention to the way you emphasized that word, paired with the shy smile on your face as your gaze dropped to the ground. What you meant by helping, though, was having sex.

"Do you need help with book two?" he grinned.

"Oh my god, Josh," you muttered, teary eyed in embarrassment.

"I can totally help," he teased some more. "Everyday, if you let me. Anything you want to try baby, I'm game."

"You are helping, Josh," you turned to look over your shoulder and deciding no one was listening to your conversation you added: "You are a very diligent source of inspiration."

"You think, baby?" he pressed, holding the door to the building open for you.

You nodded eagerly in affirmation to his question.

"I take my job seriously," he quipped with a laugh. "Anything to help."

After the day-long date, you came back home feeling exhausted, but ready to get some hours of work before heading to bed. Committed was the relationship you had to your writing, a thing you tried to do at least an hour a day.

So Joshua decided to spend the remainder of the day sitting in the living room area. Guitar sitting in his lap, phone ready to record, he tried to emulate the tune he heard you hum, the tune he replayed the whole evening in his head.

Before he knew it, he had recorded a good chunk of melody. He replayed it once, deciding it was good material he sent it right over to Jihoon, presenting it as something they can work on for a ballad.

Content with his day's productivity, he decided to call it a day, being that it was already nightfall and he felt rightfully sleepy.

So he made his way to the place he knew he would find you, happily buried in work. Pushing the door open he found you working on your desk, eyes glued to one of your monitors, typing fast on the keyboard.

He saw that you were wearing your headphones so he went unnoticed completely. Suppressing a small smile, he walked closer to you, being careful as to not startle you as he had done several times in the past.

"Baby," he whispered as he placed his hands on your shoulders, leaning down to press a kiss on your cheek once you slid a hand on top of his.

"Mmn?" you removed your headphones. "What's that?"

"I'm heading to bed," he whispered before pressing another kiss on your cheek. "Wait for you there?"

"Yeah, sure," you turned your head to plant a kiss on his lips. "I'll be there in five."

"If you take longer, I'll come for you," he said, eliciting a chuckle from you.

"That sounds fun," you whispered, pressing your lips against his smirk.

He kissed you one more time before backing away from you and getting ready for bed. His routine was short, consisting of rinsing his face, brushing his teeth and undressing himself.

When he was already lying in the bed, he heard you come in exactly five minutes later, which made Joshua turn his head to look at you curiously.

Noticing that he was still awake and with his gaze trained on you, you began to undress, reaching out for your sleeping clothes in the drawer. You had taken to using one of his t-shirts, which was a few sizes too big for you.

Turning off the bedside lamp, you climbed up the high bed, crawling to the space you had assigned for yourself, but as you slipped beneath the sheets, you immediately attached to his side.

Joshua chuckled softly, wrapping one arm around you as you snuggled to him, fitting your face on the curve of his neck.

"You didn't take long," he pointed, thinking of the times you worked past midnight.

"I'll continue tomorrow," you sighed a yawn. "I want to cuddle with you, is that okay?"

"Of course, baby," he whispered, bringing his other arm to hug you snuggly. "Always."

"Thank you for today, Josh," you muttered sweetly, your hand had started to rub shapeless figures on his chest. "I enjoyed every moment of it."

"You don't have to thank me, bunny," he replied sleepily. "I want to give you more days like this. For the rest of your life if you let me."

That made you giggle in joy. "Be ready to hear me thank you every single day, then."

"Why?"

"Because you make me happy," you muttered, your voice had turned into a tiny coo.

"You make me happy too, baby," he turned his head on the pillow to look at you. "That's the point, right?"

"Mmn, yeah but I want to say thanks anyway," you laughed, realizing how stupid the argument was.

But Joshua smiled, pressing a kiss on your forehead. "I love you," he muttered, caressing your arm with his hand. "I just want to make you happy."

"I love you too," you whispered, sighing a hum. "Let's make each other happy, then."

Joshua was unsure as to how he fell asleep, or how long after he drifted into a peaceful dream. He woke up to distant noises of water boiling, a sizzling sound and then the clinking of metal against ceramic glass.

The bed was cold on your side, when he outstretched his arm he found it empty. Instantly, he knew it was one of those restless nights. Even if you were trying to fix your sleeping habits, you still suffered some insomniac nights.

He waited for some minutes, and then got out of bed, fishing out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt that he had discarded earlier and left on top of the armchair in the room and put them on.

You were sitting on the couch by the window. He noticed that you had drawn the blinds to get the lighting from the restless city outside.

You didn't notice him right away, so he also could tell that you were crying as your teary eyes panned to the hall and found him.

His heart dropped. "You're okay, bunny?" he asked wearily.

Sitting down on the couch beside you, he kept some distance from you, giving you space in case that was you needed.

"Yeah, I'm okay," you smiled, pressing your lips together.

He nodded slowly, averting his gaze to his lap. "Do you want to talk about it?" he offered, holding in his breath.

This would probably be the time, he thought. He wished you would finally air out your troubles with him. It was the third time he had woken up to your cries, he silently counted. And he suspected that you were hiding from him to let your feelings out, suspected you weren't sharing your feelings with him to avoid more conflict.

"I'm just thinking, Josh," you said with a dismissive tone. "Everything's okay."

You took three big gulps from the tea that you drink to help you sleep. Grimacing at the taste you put it back to the coffee table and shifted on the couch closer to Joshua until your bodies touched.

"What do you think about?" he asked gently, the weariness coating his tone was still there.

A long sigh made your chest rise and fall, more tears kept rolling down your cheeks and you shook your head, signaling your reluctance to talk about it.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"No, I..." you choked on your words and before he could move, you took his hand. "I'm just being a bit emotional. That's it."

"You can trust me," he whispered, raising his eyes to find your grief stricken face.

"I know," you replied in kind. "I know, Josh."

You picked up your tears with the pad of your thumb, sniffing quietly as you seemed to calm yourself down. But you wouldn't make eye contact with him, your hand held his tightly, but it seemed that you weren't opening up just yet.

"Baby..." he whispered, following your eyes. "I want you to talk to me. I'm waiting for you night and day to open up but you just won't. Do you think that I don't know what you've been going through?"

Your eyebrows pinched together in confusion but they quickly went lax, coming to a realization that he knew. All along he silently bore witness to your pain and your mourning to your friendship with Jeonghan.

"I've heard you cry before too," he confessed, a painful jab making him shudder. "I know you told me to give you space but you don't have to. I think that you will feel better when you talk to Jeonghan and whatever you decide to do... I'm ready."

"What are you saying?" you croaked, sniffing loudly and bringing up a hand to wipe your tears.

"I'm... saying that if you–," a strangled sound interrupted him, and he had to pause to gather his thoughts, drawing a big gulp of air as he sighed the next words: "Whatever you need to do when you talk to him, I'm ready... to take it."

"What?!" you gasped with a bewilderment that almost made you stop your tears. "You're not taking anything, Joshua. Who do you think I am?"

"I'm just saying, whatever you feel like you have to do, I'll understand…. I just want you to be happy again," his eyes inevitably rolling upward, trying to resist the angry tears stinging his eyes.

"Have you lost your mind, Joshua?" you asked, watching him nearly vibrate in what you assume was a very undesirable remorse.

"I think so, yes," he said slowly, now looking at you. "It kills me to wake up and hear you crying in the middle of the night. I hate that you pretend to be alright instead of trusting me with what's hurting you."

"What hurts me hurts you," you said in a weak tone, crossing your arms over your chest in what he recognized as a mechanism to hold yourself together.

"Is that why you won't open up to me? Because you don't want to hurt me?"

You slowly nodded with your head, biting your lip to make it stop quivering, though it was futile.

"I just want you to trust me," Joshua whispered, and your eyes widened when his tone faltered. "It's the only thing I care about."

"Joshua, I..." you started, but you were at a loss of words.

"We can't keep doing this to each other," he whispered, shuddering under the stress of finally being vulnerable with you. "I want to help you but you need to let me in."

"I don't want this to affect us," you replied with an air of surrender, it was quite evident that it was too late for that.

At that, he knew he had nothing to say. He had caused all this, no matter how much he wanted you to open up, he was being a hypocrite. His attempt to make you trust him with this fell completely disingenuous since he was also keeping things from you.

He shifted on his seat, opening his arms to you. "Come here," he whispered and you promptly crawled wight into his embrace, crying freely on his shoulder. "I just don't want you to go through this on your own, baby," he said shakily, swallowing his own guilt-ridden tears. "But if it's what you want I get it. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," you replied in a tiny voice.

"No, don't be," he muttered. "I know this is hard for you... this is hard for me too, but it shouldn't have to be, baby. We are together to lift each other up, aren't we? No matter what tries to bring us down."

Joshua could feel your fingers clinging onto his shoulders, your face pressed flush against his chest as you sobbed and cried hard, harder than he had heard you ever.

"All I'm trying to say is... trust that I won't walk away from you. Not because of this, not ever," Joshua gulped, a hand finding the back of your head to hug you tightly. "I love you and I trust you."

"I love you too... and I trust you, Joshua," you replied with a hoarse tone from crying. "But, how can I tell you about this? I don't know how I would feel the roles were reversed. If you told me you felt something for someone else... I don't know how I'd react."

Joshua had been over this scenario on his head multiple times. "It's different," he said with an air of decisiveness. "I don't think this is as straightforward, baby."

You felt him press his lips on the crown of your head for a long minute.

"But more importantly... you can tell me anything, baby," he muttered, closing his eyes slowly as he sighed. "Even if it's about Jeonghan."

There was a pause, between him waiting for your answer patiently and you gathering your thoughts. This was definitely not something you had expected from your boyfriend. Granted, he had been extremely reasonable about your feelings for Jeonghan.

"I just want him to know that I'm sorry," you sobbed quietly, holding onto his shirt.

Joshua felt the small wet patches on his chest from your tears, he held you tighter against his body, when the painful jab of remorse returned.

"Have you tried talking to him?" he pried with a fear pulsing in his throat.

"Last time I tried he told me he's not ready," you replied and your tone weakened. "He stopped replying to my texts two weeks ago."

His arms wrapped your body tighter. "I'm sorry, bunny," he replied with honesty.

But a part of him burned with rage. He wasn't in the least bit pleased that Jeonghan had feelings for you, but on top of that he hated that he was making you suffer. Joshua understood that Jeonghan needed time to think, since this was a very complicated situation they were all embroidered in.

Still, he hated to see you cry.

"Maybe I can talk to him," he offered softly, resting his cheek on the crown of your head, his arms still cradling your body.

In all this time, Jeonghan and Joshua had not spoken, nor crossed paths. The reason why in reality was that Joshua had nothing to say. And if he thought of something to say, he wouldn't mean it.

In part, he felt betrayed by his best friend. Even if all of this was partly his doing, he started all of this. But still, there was a nagging feeling in him that no matter what he did, he couldn't shake it off.

"Maybe I can call him, ask him to hear you out. Would you like that baby?" he asked, now moving his head to see your face.

You mumbled something that resembled an affirmation. But you had already drifted into a slumber, losing the fight against the powerful sleeping tea that you didn't even finish drinking.

He certainly didn't take that to be an actual affirmation on your part. But he thought he might as well try. Because he had to at least try to fix something from this mess.

Joshua held you until he was certain you were completely asleep. Subconsciously, he started humming that song again as he memorized again the features of your face with the pads of his fingers, grazing your skin ever so gently that you never felt a thing.

He loved you. He ached at the thought of losing you all for his stupidity, for his blind jealousy.

Slowly, he leaned so he could rest his forehead on the crown of your head. I'm sorry, he pleaded silently, I love you.

Cradling you in his arms, he stood up from the couch, carrying you straight to bed where the covers were already drawn so he just easily laid you down, tucking you in.

He asked himself if he was even worthy of being your lover. Holding you like this, sleeping next to you after a day of showing you how much he loved you, he wondered if his love would amount to something enough for you. Mistakes and all.

The Spot was as busy as any thursday.

It had been a while since Joshua's last visit. He had some memories of being wasted, to the point that he fell asleep on the barstool he was sitting at, his head propped in the lacquered red bartop.

It seemed funny to him that Jeonghan was sitting in the same place now.

His fingers were toying with the neck of the empty bottle of beer, his head leaned forwards, eyes out of focus.

Joshua silently sat beside his best friend, drawing his attention to him with a dreary look. "Hey."

"Hi," Joshua replied with an empty smile.

"How did you know I was here?" Jeonghan asked, but his hollow tone implied that he knew, but just wanted to confirm his suspicions.

"I had someone on the lookout for you tell me," he informed, Jeonghan nodded and signaled to the person behind the bar with just two fingers.

"Thank you Mingoo," Jeonghan said, the hollow tone persisting.

Jeonghan had ordered two bottles of beer one for Joshua and one for himself, which upon arriving he took a sip of his own, directing a cold look at Joshua.

"I know why you're here."

Joshua took a deep breath through his nose, looking straight in front of him and he felt his own eyes fall out of focus as his mind began to reel.

"Tell me why I'm here," Joshua muttered, trying not to roll his eyes.

Jeonghan frowned, for the first time in the whole interaction he showed a sign of some shred of emotion. The confused look told Joshua that his best friend might have expected a confrontation like this, but maybe he was not ready yet.

"You want to talk about that night," Jeonghan muttered slowly, the frown still painting small lines between his eyebrows. "But there's nothing to talk about. I am sorry about... everything."

Jeonghan averted his gaze in front of him and took another generous gulp of beer. Joshua knew what he meant by everything, about violating his trust, about letting his feelings for you grow. Or at least, that was how Jeonghan saw it.

Jeonghan still wore one of your scrunchies around his wrist. Joshua closed his eyes as the flashing feeling of remorse coursed through him.

"You're wrong."

His best friend paused as he was about to lift the bottle from the surface of the bar. Slowly, the black haired man turned in the barstool to face Joshua, tilting his head to one side ever so slightly.

"Tell me how I'm wrong," he retorted.

"I'm not here to talk about that night," Joshua began to explain, taking another gulp of beer to gain some very much needed courage. "Nor do I want you to apologize for anything."

Jeonghan pursed his lips into a pout, almost as though he wanted to ask a big, "What?" but refrained from doing so.

"I..." Joshua started, sending a look to the dim lamps on the ceiling, he took another deep breath but it felt like no matter how many times he did that, the restless beating of his heart wouldn't let him free. "I need you to talk to her, Jeonghan... I need you two to talk."

Jeonghan froze, the only part of his body that moved was the pair of brown eyes, scanning Joshua's face over and over again.

"Why?"

The question was uttered slowly and pointedly. Almost as if Jeonghan were avoiding falling into a trap into the deeper parts of this conversation that both men were avoiding to have for nearly a month.

"Because you both need it," Joshua said but he immediately wanted to retract himself, shaking his head once. "She needs it, Jeonghan."

Joshua exhaled hoarsely, feeling that if he didn't hit pause he would soon suffer a mental breakdown. It was driving him crazy, it was burning what peace he had left to ashes.

Some nights had passed since Joshua saw you crying in the living room. You were reluctant to talk about that night again, and the memory of you crying refused to leave his mind. It was robbing him of sleep, of peace. He needed to do something.

There was a general understanding that Jeonghan saw right away. In more than three weeks of not speaking to each other, Jeonghan knew his best friend would not be asking that unless it was completely serious.

But he couldn't bring himself to say yes. By now, he was confused as to how much Joshua knew about what happened that night. Did you tell him about the conversation that led him to this moment? Is Joshua sitting here asking him to reach out to you, his own girlfriend without knowing how Jeonghan felt about you?

If he did know about it all, this was a very strange request to ask the guy that very evidently had feelings for you.

But if Joshua did not know...

"I need to know why," Jeonghan insisted, making Joshua dart a look his way swiftly.

"I told you why."

That much told his best friend that he was bluffing, making Jeonghan huff. "You're not here just because you want us to talk," he grimaced slightly, now toying with the bottle in his hand. "There's more. There's always more with you."

Joshua sighed, letting his eyes close briefly. "I'm leaving in a few weeks," Joshua admitted, licking his lips in an irked way.

"Ah, there it is," Jeonghan nodded with realization, and then he sighed too. "I can't keep doing this, Joshua."

The uneasy feeling invading his chest made him breathe near erratical. It hurt him to know that he caused all of this, and now the two most important people in his life were hurting too.

"I don't care," Joshua said with an annoyed hint in his tone, casting a glance at him. There he saw the guilt in his best friend's eyes too and his heart twisted even more before he blurted: "Just this once, and I'll leave you alone if that's what you want."

That definitely awoke an intrigue in him. "Does your girlfriend know you're here?" he inquired, pinning without much effort something that Joshua decided to omit.

"No and I'd like to keep it that way," he replied pointedly, setting the bottle down with a harsh thump. "Please. For now."

The two men exchanged a long glance that told years of knowing each other so deeply, they had learned to communicate without words. Jeonghan saw the desperation, the guilt and remorse in Joshua's eyes.

"Okay," his best friend replied, but the intrigue and the confusion didn't subside. "I will. I'll talk to her."

"Thank you," he muttered quietly, averting his gaze elsewhere. "I'm sorry about all of this too, Jeonghan. I know you didn't want any of it but if you love her, you'll listen to what she has to say."

Jeonghan froze. Slowly processing what he just heard, he waited for Joshua's next bluff, he waited for something to tell him that he might have misheard but before he could even protest, lie, or negate it, Joshua was already leaving his seat.

"So you do know."

"Please," he said, pulling out his wallet and drawing out a bill which he placed beneath his empty beer bottle. "I know you better than anyone else. Trust me, I know."

Completely thrown off, Jeonghan watched his best friend walk out of the bar, thus leaving him with much to think and no clear sign as to where to begin.

The ride back home was quiet. Joshua remained deep in thought for the whole half an hour, silently thanking that it was about nine o'clock and traffic was busy. He needed the extra minutes to think as to what he was doing, how he would confront you.

Ever since that night, Joshua had encountered a dilemma. He knew that you had feelings over Jeonghan, and that to some degree, it was mutual. He saw the hurt in your eyes afterwards, the inwardly quietness of your mourning of a friendship with him.

And now, he saw the same in Jeonghan. He saw the morose pain of losing you, of not being able to reach you. Something Joshua himself knew too well.

But what killed him was that this was somehow a result of his own choices. He asked Jeonghan to get closer to you, he left you for a month, it was a recipe for disaster.

And it wasn't that he didn't trust you, he did. And he trusts his best friend as well.

Even though he hated himself for all of this, he couldn't help but live in the memory of that night. It made him sick that, even if he had double intentions, he enjoyed it by far more than he had originally thought.

He felt sticky.

But he constantly thought of that night, he vexedly thought of how much he enjoyed watching you and Jeonghan having sex in front of him. It was like he saw a different version of you, and for some reason he could not pinpoint, he loved it.

It was fucked up, he knew that. He didn't know if he would ever confess that to you. But he suspected you knew it already, because he didn't make an attempt to hide it. Joshua liked the way the three of you moved seamlessly, almost as if... it were meant to be.

He felt torn.

Torn between hating himself and thinking of that night. Hating himself for playing with his best friend's feelings and for lying to you. Torn with jealousy because his best friend had feelings for you, but every time he thought of that night, he grew hard at the memory of you fucking Jeonghan.

As soon as Joshua crossed the door, he knew that you were working in your studio. All of the lights were out, leaving the apartment in a somber quietness that was only interrupted by the echoing traffic noise outside.

The curtains were drawn, so the living room was dimly illuminated by the city lights. Joshua discarded his shoes by the entrance before making his way to turn on the lamp on the corner of the room and then went looking for you.

Gently, he pushed the door to your studio, finding the only source of light being your double monitors. You didn't budge, partly because your noise cancellation headphones kept you from knowing Joshua had arrived home.

Joshua leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms as he watched briefly you typing away, every now and then you bobbed your head to what he presumed was the song you were listening to.

He didn't want to pry, because he suspected that times when you were deep into your writing session, you wanted to be left alone. Sometimes, when you were not as busy, he would crash on the small couch next to your desk.

Those times, he would lie idly scrolling on his phone or playing his acoustic guitar. But inevitably, he would fall into a distraction. Just as he was now, lost in the imagination of a life with you, the cherishing of the moments he can get like this.

Before he has to go away again.

Something made you stop typing and you pushed the keyboard in as a sign of termination. A few clicks and then you reluctantly turn your head, as though you already knew he was standing there.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to hover," he smiled softly at you.

You grabbed your headset and pulled your head back out of it. "You're back!" you sighed in a pleased surprise. "Hi handsome."

A surge of tenderness and warmth washed over him, suddenly being overcome with the need to melt into you.

"Hi beautiful," he replied, his voice sounding a little hoarse.

He crossed the distance between the door to your study to your armchair and before you could get to your feet, he was already leaning down, grabbing your chin with two fingers to kiss you. It was a brief, tender kiss that ended with a small smacking sound and a hum from you.

"Someone's in a mood," you noticed right away with a tiny smile. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's okay," he whispered before diving again into your soft lips, capturing them with a low hum from his part now, trying to wordlessly let you know that he needed you.

"Okay," you replied in a mere whisper, taken away by the urgency to which your lips were being hugged by his now.

"Are you done with that?" he asked, his voice raspy to what he assumed was the need, the love and adoration he felt for you flooding inside him.

"No, not yet," you replied with a playful grin. "Why?"

Joshua thought of the way you elongated that question, the taunting velvety tone you gave to it. "Because I was thinking of you on my way back," he mumbled, still littering kisses on your lips, moving to one of your cheeks as he kept speaking. "I remembered that I owe you a massage."

"Well then get on with it," you let out a small chuckle that sounded sweet to him, though it was playful. "You don't need to be all over me to do it, Mr. Hong."

That made him laugh in both awe and lack of words.

So he just simply scooped you up off your chair. He initially crouched a little, securing your body with his hands as you wordlessly understood what he intended to do and reached out to wrap your legs around his waist.

Not without some struggle due to the darkness, he searched his way to the bedroom, where Joshua quite literally threw you to the bed, sighing with amusement as he heard you squeak when you landed on the mattress.

You looked at him up and down, a glint of excitement in your eyes.

But Joshua found it hard to move for a moment. The way that you looked at him made him freeze, he found the love and carnal need in your eyes and he almost had to slap himself.

The pause was brief but you noticed. "Come here," you muttered sweetly, reaching out a hand to him.

Joshua climbed on the high bed, placing each of his hands at your sides, his body hovering on top of yours as he slowly propped his knees and elbows to pin your body down with his.

"How was your thing with the boys?" you asked as he planted a tender kiss on the apple of your cheek. "I actually thought you'd be gone for longer."

A sharp pain tugged at his insides. You didn't know he had gone out to meet Jeonghan, and he felt bad for lying to you. He felt bad at how easily he could craft a story to deceive you.

"It was fine," he whispered, taking advantage of the position of his face, so you couldn't see his eyes, probably translating the restlessness he felt inside.

"Did you guys have fun?" you asked and he knew you were just trying to make normal conversation.

"Yeah, you know them," he sighed, trying to make his voice sound at ease. "They're pretty chill."

You shuddered slightly when his breath caressed a sensitive spot on your neck as he leaned to press more kisses on your skin, his heart deflating at every second he waited for your next question. But luckily you quickly shifted your attention to his lips reaching your collarbones.

Your hand slid on the nape of his neck. "Oh, Josh..." you whispered shakily, a small moan coiling when he didn't care to get rid of the t-shirt you were wearing, which he noticed was his.

He cupped your breasts with his hands, fingers digging gently on the cotton fabric as he pressed his mouth on your already pebbled nipple, which he teased with his lips and teeth, gently to not hurt you but harsh enough to make your breath hitch embarrassingly.

"I thought I was getting a massage," you mumbled faintly, your hands searching his body for somewhere to hold onto, a hand deciding to tangle on his long golden hair while the other parked on his back.

"You'll get it, baby," he replied in kind, his hands searching for your shorts, practically ripping them off of you. "But right now I need you."

"Slow down, Josh," you sighed bemusedly as he tossed the shorts to the floor.

"Sorry," he whispered, pressing more kisses into your lips, those becoming more and more heated and hasty. "I really need you."

With a low hum, you were quickly subdued to his carnal desire, holding onto his shoulders your hands roamed all over his back. "You don't want to take this off?" you muttered, fingers tugging on the jacket on his shoulders.

"Yeah, okay," he breathed. Then he pulled back, yanking his brown jacket. And with a thrust of his arm, he carelessly tossed the jacket to the floor.

The sight made you tilt your head on the pillows. "I want the t-shirt gone too, Joshua," you mumbled with a small smile tugging at your lips.

Joshua gave no thought to your command and obliged wordlessly. He just saw the glint in your eyes as his hands searched for the hem of the white t-shirt, pulling it over his head with one motion of his arms.

And just as he began to lean towards your body on the bed, you stopped him. You just lifted one leg from the bed, placing your foot between his pecs.

"Jeans too," you said sultrily quirking up an eyebrow at him. Though there was a noticeable quiver in your tone due to nervousness, the darkened look in your eyes convinced him.

Lately, you have been trying your hand at taking control in the bedroom. A few commands here and there, until you grow more and more sheepish and beg him to retake control. Though obviously not without some teasing from his part.

But tonight, Joshua thought that maybe this is just what he needed. He needed to disconnect his mind from all that troubled him, he needed you to have your fun with him, to use him, to punish him.

So he climbed off the bed, unbuckling his belt, the clinking sound as it dangled made you prop half of your body with your elbows to keep looking at his body as he became progressively more naked.

He stepped out of his light blue jeans, sneaking a glance up at you in your bed as he started to crawl back on top of you. You were biting your bottom lip, hiding an excited smile as you saw his beautiful tanned skin, his bulging biceps and toned pecs.

"You're so hot," you welcomed him wrapping your arms around his neck as he hovered on top of you, meeting your lips with his own with soft and wet kisses. "And mine."

That made him smile as he kissed you deeper. "All yours," he whispered, feeling weak over the way you hummed happily in his mouth, your hands roaming all over his back.

"Yeah, baby?" you mumbled, your voice tiny but still in a taunting purr. A perfect mimic to his own voice when he is the one in control. "Will you do something for me then?"

"Anything," he breathed, his lips finding a sensitive spot on your neck quite effortlessly, just to hear your breath hitch and feel how your body tensed up.

"Get the handcuffs," you murmured into his ear, your fingers raking through his golden hair in a response to your own nervousness.

Joshua paused, but he didn't think of questioning you, or teasing you. He pulled back to see the certainty in your eyes and nodded, making his way to the dresser where you both kept a variety of sex toys and other accessories.

As he got the pink handcuffs he got for you in what felt like forever ago, not mere months, you got to your knees and reached out to your nightstand.

Immediately, he got a notion of what your plan was when he eyed the blindfold in your hands.

"Can you–," you paused, gathering your words in your mind before trying again. "Lie down for me, Josh."

He tried to conceal a smirk by biting his lower lip. But he obliged anyway, partly because he wanted to see where you would go with this. But on the other hand, he ached for you.

"Hands up," you breathed nervously, but the excitement in your eyes made him beam at you. You smiled and nodded your head at the railings of the headboard. "Don't make me ask again."

Anticipation ran thick and heavy through his body. His eyes remained trained on you as he raised his arms over his head, fingers grazing the rails.

You sat back on your heels, hovering over him as you reached out to secure the cuffs around his wrists. You noticed his eyes focused on your face, noticed the dark and greedy need that was slowly eating him from the inside.

"Be good for me," you whispered with a sheepish smile, leaning down to press your lips against his.

"Always am," he breathed, sounding hoarse from the urgent desire beating fast in his throat.

"We'll see about that, baby," you replied, so close to his own face still that he could feel the smile curving in your lips.

Joshua closed his eyes, letting go of his worries when your lips met his again. The pain and remorse slowly blended with the deep craving for your touch, for your love and undivided attention. Selfish, he told himself with a slight rush of guilt, but he couldn't bring himself to stop you.

Because your lips were on his. He swore he could melt into your gentle touch, the tenderness to which you always seem to carry yourself even in moments like this. He hadn't known a tender kiss like yours.

But you quickly progressed into a deeper, heated kiss, tugging at his lower lip with your teeth, making him groan quietly. "You look so hot like this," you said in a breathy mewl, slowly moving your knees to his sides.

Straddling him, you ran a hand from his forehead to the crown of his head, fingers skating through the golden locks of his hair, looking at him with a glint of mischief in your eyes.

"I have a confession to make," you smiled sweetly, your hand left his hair, sliding a fingertip from his cheekbone to his chin. "I was also thinking about you before you got home."

"Y-you were?" he had to swallow hard, his voice sounded hoarse from the lust, love and adoration slowly consuming him whole.

"Yeah," you breathed before biting on your lower lip. "I couldn't even focus on my writing."

"What were you thinking about?" he asked with a low murmur as you continued to litter his skin with wet kisses, he shuddered hard when your sweet breath caressed the curve of his neck.

"I thought of the things I want to do to you," you said breathily, you trailed down to his collarbones, sneaking a glance at him with a sheepish smile. "Have I ever told you?"

Joshua shifted in his position slightly, the metal chain linking the cuffs clanked against the rails of the headboard. "No, I don't think so," he whispered, closing his eyes when you resumed with your little trail of kisses on his skin.

There was a single mole sitting perfectly between his pecs, which you kissed lovingly as your fingers skated on his chest, caressing over, a thumb circling around his nipple just as your mouth kissed the other.

The strangled sound that came from Joshua made you grin, he felt it on his skin as you hummed bemusedly. Joshua was sensitive around his chest area, and you were always so excited to find out just how far you could go.

"I think of having you like this," you raised your eyes to his hands cuffed to the headboard, his beefy biceps framing his golden brown head. "I thought of kissing every single inch of your body."

Joshua made note of the punctuated manner you delivered the last few words, he thought of how sultrily you sounded. Sweet and dangerous.

"I thought of teasing you, marking you..." you gave him a bashful look, trying to bite your own smile as you moved to kiss his other nipple. "I want to see how obedient you can be."

Joshua closed his eyes again, trying to put no resistance to your newly found dominance over him. Raking your fingernails over his chest, littering him with feathery kisses that made him suck in a breath.

"Fuck," he squeezed his eyelids tightly when you suckled the skin on the underside of one of his pecs. His body tensed up, the cuffs clanking against the headboard. "Baby..."

"Mm? How does that feel, Josh?" you asked, a smile playing on your lips.

"Good," he breathed, licking his lips.

"Yeah?" you cocked your head to one side cutely, puckering your glossy lips before attaching them to his skin.

"Yeah..." he replied faintly, limbs relaxing into pleasure when your lovebites became harsher, mercilessly marking his skin.

He vaguely remembered the time where he didn't let anyone so much scratched his skin. He belonged to no one, so no one would leave a mark.

And there he was. Willingly subduing himself to you, letting you leave your mark on his skin, because he was completely yours.

"Stay still," you advised with a low tone before running your tongue on the recently marked area, which was already tingling.

But he couldn't help it, he tensed again, flinching so abruptly that his body nearly made yours jump.

"Joshua," you warned sternly.

"Sorry. Sorry, baby," he rasped with a laugh that remarked on his shyness. "I'm not used to this."

He was usually the one in control. The one torturing you with slow kisses, and you the one cuffed to the headboard. So the times you actually had him at your mercy were very few.

"Mmn, then I think I'll put this on you," you grabbed the blindfold that you had placed aside. "I'll remove it only if you behave."

Joshua didn't try to hide his discontent with that, sending you a glare before lifting his head from the pillows to let you secure the blindfold around his head, covering his eyes.

"There you go," you whispered. "Good boy."

Your fingers slid to cup his chin before capturing his lips with your own in a heated kiss. His tongue swept inside your mouth, muffling a raspy moan that denoted his need for you.

"If you misbehave again, I'll just use my toys and force you to watch," you muttered, emboldened by the absence of his attentive gaze on you now.

"I'll behave," he replied immediately, ignoring the quivering in his tone. "Please, just... don't stop."

There was a pause, your fingers left his chin and with a painful jab in his chest he considered pleading with you to remove his cuffs, maybe just release one of his hands. He wanted to feel you, to ease the ache eating him from the inside.

"Baby? Please," he whispered, licking his lips with some anxiousness. "Please keep going."

"Mmn, someone's a little impatient," you cooed, he could hear you smiling through your tone. "Why are you in a rush? We have all night, baby."

He cursed at himself silently for teaching you everything you were doing. But he couldn't deny that he was enjoying this way too much.

You sat back, pressing your clothed pussy on the hard bulge beneath his boxers. "Oh," you breathed upon feeling the small wet patch on the stretchy and dark fabric he still wore. You had scooted back a little sitting now on his strong thighs.

The next thing he felt was strands of your hair caressing his abdomen before you pressed more kisses around his belly button. Joshua had to ball his hands into fists to avoid jumping dramatically on the bed.

"Fuck," he breathed, feeling your fingers hooking on the band of his boxers and he braced himself, biting hard on his lower lip as your lips pressed more kisses down his happy trail.

Your fingers pushed the waistband of his boxers down further, a sigh of something that sounded close to awe spilled from your lips when his erection slapped his lower abdomen.

You crawled backwards to pull his boxers down his long legs, with a bit of his help. "Have I told you how much I like this?" you whispered, running a finger through his soft pubic hair.

"Maybe," he sighed, suppressing a shudder.

"Baby, I don't think I'd ever seen you this wet," you pointed with a gentle tone.

A finger circled around his slit, gathering the precum on his cockhead. "Mmn," you hummed softly, making him assume that you were licking the precum off your own fingers.

"Baby," he whispered with a near palpable urgency. "Please..."

"Yes, Josh?"

"Please don't make me wait," he pleaded, his voice raspy and he hated how needy he sounded but at the same time he wouldn't dare to pretend otherwise.

"Why should I?" you asked.

"I'll be good, just..." he sighed when your hand started caressing his thighs. "Let me feel you, baby, please..."

"Like this?" you muttered, your hand circling around his length and started stroking him slowly.

He groaned, sinking his head back in the pillows, his heart constricting. "No, baby, not like that," he gasped, but his mouth fell slowly when your grip became tighter around him, moving on his hard cock faster.

You rolled your hand on his bulbous head expertly, smearing his precum all over his veiny shaft, the jerking of your hand causing a wet sound.

"Then how, Josh?" you cooed, making him once again to be rid of the blindfold to see your face. "You don't like this?"

You were probably biting your lip over the sight of him trying to behave and follow your command. You were probably reveling at the sight of him subdued to you, the twitching of his fingers, his throat bobbing.

"I–, I do," he rasped. "Can I have your mouth? Please baby, I'm being good," he whispered, moving his head sideways to muffle a moan against his own bicep when he felt your pretty lips on one of his thighs.

"Mmmn, I guess..." you sighed with a pleased tone. But you didn't give him what he wanted right away.

"Please," he whispered, his thighs tensing involuntarily when your lips kissed closer to his crotch on his thigh. "Please, please..."

"I'll give you my mouth," you conceded, the movement of your hand didn't relent in speed, didn't relax your grip. "But you're going to tell me when you're close."

He nodded frantically.

"Good boy," you whispered, your fist slowed down but you continued jerking him off, giving him a broad stroke of your tongue on the underside of his cock, trailing down to his balls.

"Fuck," he clenched his jaw tightly, the muscle on his abdomen tensing before he groaned gutturally. "Fuck, fuck, baby..."

"Do you like that?" you asked swiftly, your hand rolling over his cockhead to spread his precum all over his cock before you wrapped your mouth on his balls, sucking slightly, testing for his reaction.

"Y-yeah," he croaked, craning his neck as his head sunk on the pillows.

The gentle slurping sound that came from your mouth only egged him on, but he forced himself to ground his body on the bed, the only part of his body allowed to move was his mouth as he moaned breathily.

"So good," he murmured faintly. swearing he could see colors as your mouth continued to suck on his balls, your hand pumping him languidly, distractedly.

"Remember what I told you." you muttered before wrapping your mouth around his cockhead, licking him slowly, as if simulating an open kiss, tasting the salty precum.

"God, fuck," he gasped, moaning hoarsely when you sank your mouth on him, hollowing your cheeks out as you moved up, swirling around the bulbous head. "Baby, I don't think I'll last long."

But you continued bobbing your head up and down his cock, your hand pumping on the base, tongue swirling, sucking him harder.

"Baby, I'm close," he croaked with urgency. "I'm close, fuck, fuck."

You stopped a second later, detaching your mouth and hand altogether from his throbbing cock as he groaned loudly, panting as though he had run a marathon. Even with the blindfold still on, he squeezed his eyes, scrunching in the fleeting attempt to resist his climax.

"Good?" you asked quietly when his breathing calmed down.

"Good," he nodded.

"If I take this off, will you continue to be good?" you asked, lifting a side of the blindfold.

"I promise," he gasped, still sounding breathless. "Please."

The blindfold was slid up carefully. Joshua lifted his head to help you get rid of the headband and placed his head back into the pillows with a pleased sigh.

"Thank you," he whispered, he could finally see you now.

You were still wearing his oversized t-shirt, and panties. But upon scanning you up and down, he noticed your demeanor, the mischievous glint in your eyes as you went back to your position between his spread legs.

"You're being so good, baby," you whispered, sending him a glance. A smirk crowned your glistening lips.

You were relishing at the sight of him handcuffed to the rails of your bed, chest covered in new hickeys, golden brown hair disheveled, eyes wild in lust.

"Where were we?" you asked with feigned innocence, wrapping one hand around his wet cock. "Do you want more, baby?"

Joshua released a sigh through gritted teeth, bracing himself for more torture. Nodding, he replied with a strangled groan. "Please."

"Tell me when you're close again," you whispered before kissing the tip of his cock, gathering the precum with your tongue with a pleased moan.

Now that he had a view of what you were doing to him, he knew that he wouldn't last long.

An urgent, breathy moan spilled from him the moment you wrapped your mouth around him, sinking down on him expertly, taking him wholly. The sight of his cock disappearing in your mouth was near maddening.

"Fuck!" he gasped, tugging at the pink handcuffs in a knee jerk reaction. His thumb brushed the button that could set his wrists free, but he didn't press down on it, the thought didn't even cross his mind.

He ground his hips down on the bed in an attempt to not push them into your mouth. He ached to come... he ached to hear you give him the permission to do so.

"Baby..." he mumbled. "God, that feels so good."

He closed his eyes briefly, gritting his teeth tightly but nothing worked, his ears buzzed, he could taste the sweet release, see it behind his closed eyes in colors and stars.

The wet, smacking sounds that came from your mouth was the only thing he could register for a moment. The quietness in the room overtaken by the sounds created by your mouth, relentlessly going up and down on his hard cock, your drool dripping onto his hilt and his balls.

"Bunny, I'm going to come," he mumbled faintly, he cleared his throat once and insisted. "God, baby, I'm close."

You stopped again, but this time Joshua only breathed deeply, eyes closed to focus on bringing himself back down. He knew that if he saw your face, he wouldn't be able to make it.

"Mmmn," he heard you hum in thought. "Such a good boy. Look."

Obfuscated, he opened his eyes to see you swipe a thumb on his slit, not without some flinching from his part. You had picked up a white bead of his cum and now directing a lascivious glance at him, you took the pad of your thumb to your mouth.

"You're good at resisting your orgasm for me," you pointed with a small smirk. "I wonder if you'll be this good when you're inside me."

He shook his head slightly. "I don't think I can last longer," he mumbled, frowning slightly. "I need to come, baby. Please, let me come."

You tilted your head to one side cutely. "But I'm just starting to have fun," you pouted, but a smile broke your bratty act.

"And I'll make you feel good," he offered with some urgency coating his words. "Please? I'll do whatever you want, just please... let me come."

"Mmmm," you pretended to consider his plea, pursing your lips and looking upwards. "Fine. But only because you're being good."

You leaned your mouth down on him again, looking at him straight in his eyes as you continued to suck the life out of him, bobbing your head up and down, doing everything you know drives him absolutely crazy.

"Fuck," he sighed, balling his hands into fists the moment you hollowed your your cheeks, swiping your tongue around the very sensitive cockhead. "God, baby! Just like that, please, please..."

He lifted his head from the pillows, breathing embarrassingly hard and loud, being so close to his orgasm his thighs and abdomen had already tensed in anticipation.

A breathy moan escaped him once again, making him sound weak and pathetic but he couldn't care less. Your beautiful eyes were locked with his, enjoying every reaction he gave you.

"I'm close," he warned, letting his head fall back onto the pillows. "Baby, baby... fuuuuuck."

You sucked him harder, your tongue pleasured his cockhead eliciting one long raspy moan from him as ropes of cum spilled from him and onto your mouth. You swallowed instantly, looking at him babble and incoherent things to you.

"Thank you," he breathed. "Thank you, baby," he said over and over, breathing hard, eyes closed tightly as he enjoyed every second of his orgasm.

You kept swallowing until he stopped cumming in your mouth and you finished with a loving kiss that you pressed on the reddened tip of his cock.

"Good?" he heard you mumble.

"Good," he replied with a shy smile and opened his eyes.

You looked pleased with your work, in fact you were almost considering calling it a night and skip to aftercare. You leaned forward, reaching the cuffs with a hand and pressed the release button.

"You were so good, Josh," you smiled cutely at him before kissing his studded brow.

His hands searched for you, landing on the line of your back as he kissed whatever part of you he could find, his lips brushed your chin, pressing frenzied kisses until he reached your lips.

A small giggle from you vibrated in his mouth. "Josh," you squealed when his hands forced you to press your body on his. "You don't want to rest, baby? You came pretty hard."

"No," he breathed against your lips. "Need to make you feel good."

"I'm good," you replied dazedly, threading your fingers through his hair. "We can stop here."

"No, please," he muttered with some urgency making his voice quiver. "I can keep going, baby."

You knew your boyfriend could go for hours. In fact, the last time you counted, he could go for five rounds in one night, one after the other. That night made him certain that no other person could make him feel like this.

"Okay..." you breathed.

Joshua's hands slid down from your back, a finger slipped beneath the backside of your lace panties and his other hand wrapped around the waistband, effortlessly ripping the delicate fabric in two.

"Joshua!" you chastised, but there was a smile on your face. "You could've just asked me to take them off."

"Faster this way," he muttered, throwing your ruined panties away and promptly took the hem of his t-shirt to get it off you.

You sent him an amused look before raising your arms to help with his task of undressing you completely.

Joshua chucked the bundled up t-shirt aside and his hands slipped on the back of your head, fingers threading on your hair as he pulled you down for a deep kiss, a moan reverberating on his chest.

He felt you adjust on top of him, your hand carefully searching for his cock, fingers wrapping around him to languidly pump his erection before you threw your body back, angling your wet cunt on his cock.

A sweet sigh spilled from your lips. You decided to toy with him some more by sliding your slippery folds on him up and down. His reddened cockhead dripping wet with your arousal, sensitive over the hard blowjob and the edging.

"Please," he sighed and pleaded with a weak tone: "No more teasing."

"Mmf," you nodded but kept sliding your cunt on his cock, his bulbous head had grown sensitive making him flinch when you rubbed your clit against it, drawing a strangled moan from him.

"Baby, please," his hands gripping your waist nearly give out and force you to sink down on him, but he had to command some control on himself.

"Just a bit longer," you sighed, throwing your head back as your fingers pressed on the underside of his shaft keeping his cock lodged between your folds as you moved your hips back and forth, rubbing your clit on him.

"Sensitive," he whispered, sinking his head on the pillows as tears brimmed in his eyes. But he gritted his teeth, unable to deny that he loved being used by you. "I need you, please. Please baby, just fuck me."

Your mouth parted, letting out a moan that told how much you liked to hear him beg. You liked to hear in his tone, to see in his face how bad he wanted you.

"Please," he insisted with a mere whisper, his eyes trained on your pussy lips spread open by his cock, slick rubbed all over him, he savored the throbbing, the warmth but it hurt at the same time.

And without any warning, you sank down on him. "Joshua!" you squealed when his grip on your hips tightened to the point that it hurt.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," he whispered, squeezing his teary eyes shut. "I'm sorry baby, fuck, fuck, you feel so good."

Your hands found his thighs, angling your body back to move your hips on him, fucking yourself on his cock, riding him in a way you never had.

He opened his eyes to see the beautiful features of your face taken over by blissful pleasure, then he saw his cock glistening wet with your arousal disappearing inside your walls. "Fuck, baby," he sighed in pure awe. "I fucking love you so much."

Joshua sounded so pathetic, his voice was raspy and almost sounded as if he were about to cry. But a soft smile appeared on your face, a glint of love in your eyes.

"I love you too, baby," you replied sweetly, removing a hand from his thigh and placing it over one of his. "So much."

Without thinking, he grabbed you and flipped your back onto the mattress, the movement so swift and efficient you could only squeal in surprise.

"Sorry, sorry baby," he whispered again, positioning himself between your legs and eased himself, thrusting shallowly inside you with a pleased moan that was muffled by your mouth.

It wasn't about regaining control, he just wanted to be face to face with you, kissing you, feeling your chest pressed to his.

"I love you," he whispered again, forgetting about subbing for you but he kept the pace of his thrusts fast and steady, enjoying the sound of your sweet moans in blissful pleasure.

"I love you, Josh," you responded dazedly, wrapping your legs around him, your fingers threading on his golden brown hair.

Joshua leaned his head down, his forehead pressing with yours. You felt the studded piercing grazing your eyebrow, his breath caressing your lips as he moaned gutturally.

A hand searched on the back of his head, grabbing one of yours and he pinned it down on the pillow, locking his fingers with yours.

"I love you," he mouthed, so quietly that you never noticed, being so enraptured in pleasure, moaning his name over and over.

Your hand slipped from his nape down to cup his cheek, bringing him for a sweet kiss that almost toppled him over the edge. "I'm close, Josh," you sighed.

Joshua nodded with his head, diving for another kiss, locking his lips with yours but deeper this time, his tongue swiping over your lower lip and into your mouth. You let out a high pitched moan into his mouth as became undone, the sweet waves of pleasure washing over you.

The feeling of your walls squeezed around him pushed him over too, he stifled a moan, tightening his grip on your hand slightly as he spilled himself inside you with shallow thrusts.

He slumped down on top of you, face cradled in the crook of your neck as the thumping in his eardrums subsided, along with the frenzied feeling coursing in his veins. Hearing your ragged gasps, feeling your legs shaking around him, your free hand stroking his back, his nape, and then his hair.

Joshua thought of something cheesy to say. But no words came out of him. So he settled for the quiet, peaceful moment you gave him, though oblivious to the turmoil that buzzed in his mind. Your heart was beating fast under his chest, and slowly, as he came out of it, he could feel his own heart beating against yours.

The day after, Joshua was returning from a practice session when he noticed you had left the apartment. Looking around the place and looking for you in your study, he only found your phone on your desk. So he promptly knew where to find you.

You turned to see him when he pushed the door open to the rooftop. "Hi bunny," he muttered softly upon standing beside you, close to the walled up ledge of the building.

"Hi baby," you pressed your lips in a weak smile.

"What's going on?" he asked. "Everything alright?"

You shook your head no. "Jeonghan texted me," you whispered, your lower lip quivering slightly.

Joshua stilled as your eyes watered but you quickly brushed it off by looking skyward and breathing deeply. "What did he say?"

"He wants to talk."

"Baby, this is good. It's what you wanted, right? You can tell him how you feel," Joshua said, but the words sounded strangled, as if it took everything in him to voice them out.

You sent him a reluctant look. "I thought that I'd be ready. Now, I don't know what to say," your voice quivered as your eyes brimmed with tears rapidly. "I broke his heart, Joshua."

"We both did," he whispered, feeling his own heart deflate upon the confession.

"What?" you asked, but he wasn't looking at your face anymore.

Shame finally took over him, making him turn his face away. "I suspected that he had feelings for you before that night..." he started, the weight of his guilt sitting at the base of his throat.

"How?"

"He was unusually gentle to you," he mumbled, shaking his head slightly. "You thought that he was being friendly, and he is, don't get me wrong. But this was different, and I know this because I've known him for longer; he spent a lot of time with you, hugged you, called you princess..."

You shuddered, hard enough that Joshua noticed. He saw how you bristled in pain and that almost broke him.

"I don't blame you for not noticing," he said right before you thought of saying something about this. "But I saw the way you looked at him... I heard your speech the night of your book release, and I understood that in my absence you had him. In the month that I left he gave you what I couldn't and I don't blame you if that made you grow feelings, baby."

He gathered his courage and took a deep breath. He wondered again if he deserved you. Maybe he didn't, he thought. Maybe he knew all along and was just sabotaging everything before he could hurt you more.

"And then you told me you wanted to invite him over for a threesome and I agreed, partly because I wanted it. But I also wanted to see if I was right about your feelings for him. I should've told you before but... I was jealous, I was mad at Jeonghan."

Joshua closed his eyes, burdened with guilt and remorse, the pain burning in his chest. He regretted with all his being the moment he decided to torture his best friend and lie to you all because of his own jealousy.

His fingers trembled slightly as he clasped his hands together, blinking at the sky above him while inhaling deeply. The silence was deadly, but he couldn't bring himself to face you.

"You shouldn't have done that, Joshua," you finally whispered, so quietly he needed to see your face. You were crying now, shaking slightly with sobs.

"I know, believe me. I know," he turned to face you now, trying to get you to look at the honesty in his eyes but you just averted your gaze elsewhere. "And I am sorry, I truly am. Baby? Please, look at me."

He cautiously brought a hand to hold your chin, but you quickly turned away before he could even touch you.

"Don't touch me," you whispered, recoiling from his touch and walking towards the door.

Joshua went completely rigid, you turned away from him, his mind began to reel before so fast he was barely aware of the pain that was searing through him.

Calling your name aloud, he tried to chase you before you could reach the door. "Baby, please stop—just listen to me."

"We'll talk when I get back, Joshua," you snapped, turning to flash him a look that stopped the blood cold in his veins.

"Would you have told me otherwise?" he asked, his voice raising to make you hear the urgency in his tone. "If you had known, if you had been certain about your feelings for him, would you have told me?"

You turned to him now, eyes flaring with rage and despair. "You don't agree to a fucking threesome to get me to confront my feelings for him!"

"Answer the question," Joshua retorted, his heart beating faster than ever before.

You sucked in a breath shakily as tears continued to fall down your cheeks. "No. I don't know," you replied with a frustrated tone. "I don't think I would have even admitted it to myself."

Joshua pressed his lips into a tight line. He hoped that you would see what he saw, that you both fucked up and cannot go any longer ignoring that you were hurting each other, hurting Jeonghan.

"I told you before, I needed time–," you gasped and covered your face with your hands in a gesture of frustration. "I can't do this right now, Joshua. I can't talk to you."

His heart instantly deflated, remorse, guilt and pain had finally given way with him, tearing him apart. It had been a while since he last cried, he realized. "I'm sorry," he said.

Hot tears blurred the vision of your pinched eyebrows, the disappointment on your face was the last thing he saw on you before you turned towards the door and left him behind.

You were not sure which door to use. It was the first time you had come to this place, but you assumed that the safest option or the quickest route was the front door.

The theater was dark and it felt cold under the seemingly lack of activity inside. But you heard voices, and loud noises behind a pair of double doors that let white light seep through the crevices.

The nervousness coursing through your veins made your blood pulsate in your throat. The moment you left your apartment you were unable to shake the feeling that you were making a huge mistake.

But at the same time, you needed to be there. You needed to fix things.

"Can I help you miss?" a voice called from behind.

"I'm looking for someone," you replied with a jump, your hand flying to your chest.

Upon turning, the face you saw was familiar.

"Oh, hi there," Joshua's old flatmate, Seokmin raised a hand and waved in a friendly way.

"Hi there," you replied.

"Who're you looking for?" he asked politely. "I work here, so maybe I can point you in the right direction, y'know? It's a big place, easy to get lost."

You took one second to consider how the situation would look to someone who knows both Joshua and Jeonghan. In particular, someone who knows you as Joshua's partner.

Seokmin pressed his lips into the smallest of smiles, not noticing you pause.

"Yoon Jeonghan, do you know him?" you asked meekly, voice quivering.

"That's my boss," he nodded with a pleased tone. "This way."

He turned and headed to the direction you assumed he came from, which was a hallway that distanced the double doors from sight.

"Are you here for the job offer?" he asked curiously, turning to see your face as he enunciated his question.

"J-job offer?" you shook your head silently.

"Yeah, we're in the middle of putting this show together and one of our writers quit recently," he pointed and then his tone suddenly changed. "And... Shua told me you're a writer..."

He turned his head and looked forward, the tips of his ears blazing bright red.

"Oh, don't worry," you smiled shyly too, with a twist to your heart from hearing your boyfriend's name. "But no, uh... Jeonghan is a friend."

"Ah, of course," he sighed, not hiding his relief. "Well, I'm not surprised. He's quite the popular guy."

You nodded, deciding to remain quiet.

The hallways were brightly lit, and as you walked further alongside Seokmin, you picked up more busy noise, voices, people breaking into song, shouting, laughing.

"It's a circus here," Seokmin muttered. "We're getting ready for a rehearsal so it's really busy here."

You stopped walking. "I can come back later," you stammered, suddenly feeling stupid over your rash decision of coming to talk to him, breaking your last agreement with Jeonghan.

The last time you talked to him, he asked for time. You weren't ready to confront your feelings either so you thought it was more convenient for you two to think about what really happened between you two.

"He's not as busy right now, I guess," he frowned slightly. "Are you sure? I can tell him you stopped by."

"Oh no, please don't," you blurted, turning on your heel and waving at Seokmin. "I'll find my way out! Thank you."

You practically ran to find the front door, your mind buzzing with so many thoughts at once that you didn't care how abruptly you left Seokmin, you didn't want to think that you were coming back home to face your boyfriend.

A sharp pain stabbed you right in the chest that you had to fill your lungs with air in order to make the feeling go away.

You stopped before the double doors once again just as your eyes caught the sight of a tall man pacing back and forth before a small stage down below rows of seats.

You pushed the door, the loud creaking noise making Jeonghan snap his head your way.

He froze at the same time you did, but he was faster than you. He handed the tablet he was holding to someone next to him, muttering a few words that made that person and the rest of the crew back away from the stage, calling a break.

Moving slowly down the rows of steps just as he was coming toward you with a question written in his eyes.

Seeing his face again after three weeks of no contact was more than you initially thought it would be. You had missed him with every fiber of your being, you missed his quiet company, his gentle voice, the jokes, the laughs.

Somehow you both met in the middle of the stairs. Jeonghan had to raise his sweet brown eyes to meet yours. A small frown appeared in your face when you choked on your words when you attempted to communicate that you needed to talk to him.

Failing to use your words, and without giving much thought you flung your arms around him just as he wrapped you in his too. His hands rubbed your back when you choked back a sob.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, though you were lost on how he was the one apologizing.

But he did it again, he whispered in your ear as you couldn't contain your tears anymore, he held you for a long while, rubbing your back, whispering that he was sorry over and over again.

"I'm sorry too, Jeonghan," you replied finally. "I know you wanted me to give you more time, but–"

"Don't," he interrupted. "Don't apologize. I shouldn't have made you wait for so long."

The comfort those words gave you made more tears and sobs break their way. For nights you wished for him to just talk to you, to let you explain what happened.

"Are you alright?" he asked, breaking away from your arms slightly, just to scan your face with his eyes. "Did something happen?"

Even if time had passed, he knew you perfectly still. You nodded. "We need to talk," you muttered, looking into his eyes. "I need to talk to you."

Jeonghan nodded, the certainty he offered you in his sweet eyes made you realize that in fact, Joshua was right and you loved him too.

You weren't sure what would happen, you weren't sure of the person you would be after this conversation. But one thing you knew is that by doing this, you could offer a bit of honesty in all this mess to Jeonghan and to yourself.

You would deal with Joshua later. 

✮ author's note: hi hi hi there everyone! here it is city lights season 2, lights out! ta-da!!!

i uh, have no explanations for this. i knew i said city lights season 2 would go on hiatus, but i just couldn't resist it and i wanted to torture some people (namely v from windsor) lmao

that's it for me,

toodles

✮ STAY TUNED FOR PART TWO!! ✮

buy me coffee? 🩵

© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.

[eddiemunsons-missingnipple]

The interview

90sRadiohost!Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: You decided to have a little fun with your boyfriend while he's busy during an interview.

Warnings: smut, hurt/comfort 90s!Eddie, tommy lee, oral (female & male receiving), slight throat fucking, some dirty talk. orgasm denial. Jealous reader. If I missed anything, please let me know nicely.

Workd cound: little over 4.1k

Mini series masterlist

A/n: Not proofread. Ignore any mistakes. This was kind of rushed, but I hope you all still enjoy it. I recommend at least reading the first fic, but you really don't have to to understand this.

18+ minors dni

Year 1991

Eddie had been teasing you all day. His hands kept inching up your skirt while you were busy organizing his desk. In between commercial breaks, he would lean over and whisper the filthiest things in your ear. He was trying to get prepared for his interview later today, but he couldn't help himself when it came to you. You could tell he was nervous. He always got nervous before a really big interview.

Any time you worked in the studio with him, his hands never left your skin. He was constantly touching you. He'd bend you over his desk before or after his show and take you slow or hard. Depending on his work day.

Today was no different. Even with his anxiety spiked high, Eddie still couldn't take a second to try something with you. You've never dated someone who made you feel this desirable before. The way he looked at you was enough to have you giving in.

You were straighting paper next to him while he was talking to someone who called in for some advice.

"Yeah, but she's got all of these toys. I feel like I'm being replaced." The man on the opposite end of the phone complained. He had called in because he found his girlfriends sex toys, and now he's insecure about them.

Eddie leaned back in his chair and rolled his eyes. He looked over at you and bit his lip before responding. "Her vibrators are not your competition. They're your friend. Use them."

The mention of vibrators reminds you both immediately of your first introduction together. The phone call that started it all and a romance blossomed soon after.

"So is that all you called to cry about?" Eddie smirked. He keeps eyeing you up and down as you straighten up his mess.

"Uhh yeah man, that's all." The man awkwardly replied. You could tell he felt embarrassed now after Eddie said what he said to him.

You felt kind of bad for him. But Eddie was always harder on the men who called in than the women. He'd always tell you most of the time the women needed reassurance, and the guys were just selfish assholes in bed. He wasn't a dick to all of them who called for help just the ones who deserved it. The guy that just called in got it the worst from Eddie.

He had been practically sweating bullets all day long about this interview. Some of the callers were getting his smart ass remarks the most because of it. Eddie wasn't like that with you. All day, he tried to have you in some way.

"Come on, baby. They'll never hear you whimperin' my name with Megadeth playing. Jus' let me taste you." He whined and begged.

You immediately shook your head. "You stay back Munson."

Eddie pouted, pushing his bottom lip out. He got on his hands and knees crawling over to you. You couldn't help but smile and try to back away from him in your chair.

"Ah ah baby, get back here. All I wanna do is make my cute girl cum on my tongue. That's all." Eddie tried to make it sound so innocent as he grabbed at your ankle to pull you back.

He's grinning from ear to ear. "You like keepin' your man starvin?"

"I swear to God, Eddie." You giggled and squirmed. His hand had such a tight grip on your leg.

"I've fucked you on that desk so many times. Let me lick your pussy for a little while. It'll help with my jangled nerves." He made his voice low and seductive. Just the way you like it. He knew how to send a shiver up your spine. "What if I laid back on the floor, and you got to ride my face?"

"Eddie, I'm warning you." You tried to sound serious, but your smile gave it away. You liked it when he talked to you like this.

Eddie crawled his way up to you while you sat in your rolling chair, throwing your legs over his shoulders. Your skirt drapping over his head. You could hear him hum to himself and with one finger pushed your panties to the side. His tongue darting out to lick a long strip up your wet folds.

You gripped at the arm rests "maybe just for a little while."

"Thank you, baby." His voice muffled under your skirt. He kept your panties pushed to the side while his tongue flicked over your aching clit.

"Goddamn sweetheart you're always so fucking wet for me" Eddie practically groaned at the sight before him.

You tried so hard, not to moan. Which only spurred Eddie on more. The thought of his co-workers and boss hearing you both outside that door turned him on so much. Having you screaming his name while his face was buried between your thighs. He could cum in pants just imagining it. He has before when all alone in that tiny studio. With nothing to occupy himself but his dirty thoughts of you.

Eddie gave your clit a quick kiss before wrapped his plump lips around it sucking softly. You gasped before one of your hands flew to tug and pull at his hair."

"Mmmm--Eddie!." You covered your own mouth to quiet a moan. He sucked even harder when he noticed you were trying to be quiet. Your eyes flutter closed. You tried to put one of your feet to the floor and get away from him.

"Where ya goin' baby?" He lifted his head from out under your skirt and yanks you roughly back to his mouth. He lapped at your wet folds before going back to your clit.

You tried to push his head away only to end up pulling him closer. Your thighs shake as they hang over his broad shoulders.

"Eddie, don't stop." You mewled. You kept your voice as low as possible. You could feel him smiling against you. You know he enjoys seeing the effect he has on you.

Just as he really got into it, there was a loud bang at the door. Eddie lifted his head out from under your skirt once again. He looked to you and then back to the door, waiting for another knock. Two more loud bangs rattled the hinges and he was quick on his feet.

"Fuck." He muttered under his breath while answering. Eddie swung open the door to come face to face with his boss.

"We have Tommy Lee on in five for that interview. Stop fucking around in here." His boss scolded him and you.

"Yea yea no one cares, but alright." He slammed the door back closed. He was frustrated that he had to stop what he was in the middle of doing. "We'll finish after this, I promise."

You nodded and fixed yourself back up, trying to regain composure. "Don't worry about it."

Eddie shot you look but couldn't say anything as he put his headphones on and got close to his mic again.

"Welcome back. Everyone, hope you enjoyed that little break, but now we're about to talk with Tommy Lee." He greeted his listeners back after a few songs.

You handed Eddie his notes for the interview. He really didn't want to talk to him but knew his boss would kick his ass if he didn't. You snorted when he looked annoyed. His face still glistening from your slick. You picked up a napkin and went to clean off his face. He quickly grabbed at your wrist, mouthing "no," so you mouthed "fine" right back. Which earned you a small laugh from him before he playfully swatted your ass making you yelp.

You let him get situated as a little idea popped in your head. Since he loves to tease and torment you all the time. Since he just can't seem to keep those hands off of you. Maybe you'll show him a little "appreciation."

"Hey Tommy, so uhh tell us what's it like with the new lead singer you guys got now?" Eddie looked over his questions he was allowed to ask. They were the same dull, bland questions every interviewer did.

You could tell he was bored out of his mind. He did not want to do this at all. You were going to wait until for a song break or even after his show went off air. But the looks of pure agony on his face made you pity him in this moment.

Eddie was currently leaning back in his chair, his feet propped up on the table, struggling to untangle his yoyo. The notes resting on his lap, as he asked them in a monotone voice.

"Yeah, it's going good so far, different sound, but I think our fans are digging him so far." Tommy sighed into his phone. You could also tell he didn't want to do the interview with Eddie.

You walk over, tapping his feet. He immediately drops them to the floor on command. You pick up his interview notes, placing them nicely on the table. He thinks you're trying to keep him looking professional, but you had other plans.

You smiled and moved behind him to whisper in his ear. "Will you let me suck your cock?"

His eyes buldge out of his skull. "NOW?"

He practically yelled into the mic while Tommy was discussing Motley's new album.

You nodded and went back in front of him to get on your knees between his legs. His hand moved to your face, and his thumb smoothed across your bottom lip. You took it in your mouth sucking it gently. Earning you a low whimper from him.

"Oh my bad, sorry." Eddie spoke, clearing his throat. He snatched his thumb from your mouth. "You were saying?"

Your hands start rubbing his thighs up and down. You could tell he was trying so hard to hold it together. He pinched the bridge of his nose, getting frustrated with himself and you.

"I've been a good girl. Can I pretty please have your cock in my throat?" You whisper.

You forward to kiss his prominent buldge straining in his jeans. He dropped his head down, and his headphones slipped off and landed on his desk. Eddie fumbled around to put them back on. He prayed no one heard any of that.

Eddie's expression was something of shock and lust. He's not used to you being this forward. Normally, he had to work you up to get you like this. You're getting brave, and he couldn't be happier.

You slowly unzipped his pants. Your eyes never left his, and his eyes never left yours. It was like he was in some sort of trance watching you. He wasn't even paying attention to the interview anymore. Everything Tommy was saying fell on deaf ears. His focus was solely on you. You glance over at the mic, signaling him he needed to focus.

"Baby, please." He pleaded covering up the mic so no one can hear. You freed his painfully hard cock out of his pants. He let out a sigh of brief relief. His pants were getting increasingly uncomfortable the harder he became.

Licking your lips, you take him in your hand and kiss his leaking tip as you begin sucking it. Your tongue swirling around the head, cleaning off every bit of his precum. He rolled his head to the side. Eddie's struggling to remain calm and collected for this interview. His boss will kill him if he fucks this up.

You stopped and pulled your mouth away slightly to spit right on his cock. Using your spit and the little bit of his precum as lubricant. You gave him a few good strokes twisting your wrists pumping cock. He gulps as he watches you. Beads of sweat coated his forehead making his bangs stick to his skin. His hands were gripping hard onto the table. His knuckles turning white. His rings scratch at the surface.

"I can't wait to have you inside me." You teased. Your voice low enough under the table for only him to hear. "Thinkin' about you struggling to fit it all in at once."

You take his cock in your mouth slowly until he hit the back of your throat. You stayed still for a moment, allowing yourself to breathe through your nose.

He lets out a shakey breath and covers up the mic once more. "I'm gonna make you feel every inch. You just wait until I get your ass home."

You smiled around his cock at his threat. Can't be much of a threat if you'd enjoy every second of it.

"So Tommy!" Eddie piped up with too much enthusiasm even for him.

You began bobbing your head up and down, taking him as deep in your mouth as he could go. You moaned when one of his hands rested on the back of your head. Drool was spilling from the corners of your mouth and down your chin. The head of his cock hitting so far at the back of your throat.

"I-I HEARD--" He stuttered after you swallowed around him. "I heard you guys are planning a tour."

Eddie was quick to fix himself. This whole interview, he had been battling to stay on task. His abs flexed when you reached to push up his t-shirt. He's biting his lip hard enough to draw blood.

Your mouth working on him lazily giving the messiest blow job you could. Your spit dripping down from your chin onto the tuft of soft curls peeking out from under his pants. Your nose nestled into the them, taking in his musky scent.

"Uh huh yeah, a tour within the next year or so." You could hear Tommy's distorted voice over the speakers.

"Ohmyfuckinggod...." Eddie grunted through gritted teeth. His jaw clenching.

Your mouth sucking on his cock harder. Your head moving up and down faster. One of your other hands creeped higher under his shirt to pinch his nipples. His face is beet red. All he wants to do is shut off his mic and moan out your name. The fact that he can't properly give you any praise is driving him insane.

Eddie shakes his head, taking a long, deep breath. The interview is almost over. Couple more questions, and he can let go.

"I--I mean, very exciting to hear that as well. He laughed slightly. Not at what Tommy says, but at the disbelief of what you're doing to him right now.

Usually, it's the other way around. Nine times out of ten Eddie is the one with his cock buried in you while hes live on his show. You've gotten so bold and brave over this last year of dating. He wasn't complaining.

Eddie's just so used to the shy girl he first met. But then again, you did call him and have your first orgasm on his radio show with hundreds of people listening in. That boldness was always there.

You pinched his nipple harder and ran your fingernails down his abdomen, leaving a tiny red trails behind. He bucked his hips roughly pushing his cock further in your throat. Nearly causing the back of your head to hit the table. His cock throbbing and pulsating in your mouth.

You pulled him almost all the way out. Your lips wrapped perfectly around his sensitive tip, still sucking firmly on it. Taking your other hand you stroke his cock giving you're throat a break for a couple of minutes. His strangled moans are enough to make you want to keep going.

Your lips leave his tip for you to whisper up at him. "You wanna fuck me so bad right now. It's driving you crazy that you cant."

"Oooh my god, you're gonna get it--fking hell, you're gonna get it." He growled lowly, covering his mic with a shakey hand.

The corners of your mouth quirked up when your hand starts pumping his cock faster. A line of spit connecting from your lips and to his head. Your mouth and chin covered in drool. It was a sight to see, and he was mesmerized by it. He hastily snaps out of it and readjusts his headphones.

Eddie cackles into the mic and runs a hand down his face. "Tommy, tell me about your love life really quick...saw that hot blonde on your arm recently."

"She's good. we're thinking about getting married." Tommy announced to Eddie and the show.

Eddie looks down at you and pats your head. "I saw her in that music video last year. I can see why you'd want to marry her."

"She's uhhh somethin" else." He whistled, fixing his collar as if he was getting hot thinking about her.

He stops patting your head to cup your jaw gently.

You stop stroking his cock taking your hand away. You slip him back in your mouth, relaxing your throat, taking him in inch by inch again. You swallowed hard around him purposely. His body twitching from the sensation. Your mouth felt amazing and so warm.

"Ahh...uhhmm--well, that's good." He blurted out. Eddie felt like he was going to burst at any moment. Your throat closed around him each time you took him further down. "Hey man, listen, we gotta cut to a small intermission."

"No no it's cool." Tommy laughed in the phone.

"On our small intermission how about we play somethin' this next song is called "a letter to Elise by the cure"

You continued to bob your head as if you weren't preoccupied with what he said. That tinge of jealousy coursing through your veins. Your face was growing hot, replaying what he said about that girl.

The lustful look in his eyes when talked about the music video she was in. It pissed you off but also made you incredibly sad, too. You try to keep those feelings at bay and pay no mind to them. Eddie pushed his chair away from the table to give you more room. You move around on your knees following him.

"Fuck baby, you're doing so good." He purred, relaxing back.

His hips bucking up thrusting his cock in your mouth. He repeated his movements over and over. His cock going down your throat feverishly with little to no warnings. Eddie wasn't rough, but he wasn't gentle about it either. He was tired of all the teasing. Tears springing to your eyes each time his cock slides down your throat harder. You could tell he was getting close. You could sense it.

"Love you, s'much sweet girl." Eddie brought his hand out to caress and wipe your tears. He smiled warmly down at you. You were still feeling jealous by his comment towards Tommy's girlfriend.

Eddie groaned, rolling his head from side to side. His mouth hanging open. "Shiiiiiiit I'm gonna cum."

"You're gonna be my good girl and swallow it?....maybe if you're lucky ill cum on your tits later. He chuckled a cocky smile appearing on his face.

You look up at him through your lashes and whined. His hand on your hair, and he roughly pushes you down on him and pulls you back up. Your mouth making the sloppiest wet sounds while fucked your throat. You had to stop. Your emotions were beginning to be too much.

Your eyebrows furrowed, and you released him from your mouth with a loud wet pop. You slapped his hands away from your head. You coughed and gasped, trying to catch your breath. You weren't going to let him cum. Not after what he said about some other girl he clearly liked a lot.

You stomped over to your chair and sat down, crossing your arms over your chest. Eddies mouth drops open in shock, too stunned to speak. His cock laying flat against his belly coated with your spit just begging for your attention.

"Baby, why'd you stop?" He rasped. His face full of concern at your sudden attitude. He doesn't know what he did or said to make you upset. Where you upset at how rough he was being with you? You normally liked it when he used your throat like that.

That hint of jealousy is getting stronger, and you can't help but not ignore it any longer.

"Nothing," you scowled, not daring to look over at him.

His chest rose and fell fast. He's panting and trying to catch his breath. He was so close cumming until you removed him completely from your throat.

"Something is obviously wrong. Talk to me." He spoke tenderly. He didn't care about finishing at the moment. All he cared about was you and fixing whatever it was that upset you.

"Why don't you ask his girlfriend to help you cum." You sneered still looking ahead.

"Is that what this is about?" Eddie grinned but quickly got rid of it. He knew better than to let you see him smiling. He wasn't laughing at you. He just thought it was kind of cute how you are obviously jealous over that.

"Sweetheart, come here."

You gave him a side eye and saw he was motioning you over to him. You rolled your eyes and got up to sit down in his lap.

His hands instinctively go to hold your waist. His chin resting on your shoulder with those big brown eyes of his looking up at you. You resisted the urge to look at him.

"Now you know because I said that doesn't mean I want her. You're my whole world baby." Eddie kissed your neck, trying his best to reassure you.

"You didn't have to say it while I was busy doing.....that to you." You finally looked back at him, and that's when he saw the hurt in your eyes.

he knows where he screwed up, but he was just doing his job. He truly didn't mean it. He has to flatter the guests. Inflate their already too big of an ego. Give them a bigger head than what they already had.

"Sweetheart, that was inappropriate, but you have to remember this is just part of my job. I have to say these things, it's just my radio persona." Eddie explained in a calm manner. He didn't want you being hurt by anything he said.

You know this is part of his job, but for some reason, that really did hurt you and filled you with so much jealousy. You know that type of stuff comes with the territory of what he does for a living. You used to listen to his show all the time before you got together.

You should be used to it by now. For the most part, you are. You chalked up your problem with him saying that to that stupid face he made when thinking about her as his cock was in your mouth. It made you feel like he was picturing her doing that to him and not you.

You look down picking at your nails. "I know. I don't know why it bothered me it just did....I guess I thought you were thinking of her while I was doing that to you."

He shakes head but lets you finish before speaking. "You're the only one I want and need. You're the only girl I've ever been with that makes my heart skip a beat every time you look at me. You're the only person I think about day and night. Always. You're my first thought in the morning and my last thought before bed."

Eddie hooks a finger under your chin to make you look at him again. You fight back the tears that threaten to spill from your eyes.

"You really mean all of that?" You sniffle leaning back against his chest.

He held you tighter to him. "I've never lied to you once, and I don't plan on starting now."

You smiled, playing with the ends of his long curly hair. "Did--You want me to help you finish?"

"I'll be okay. All I want to do is hold you. Can I do that?" He turns his head to kiss your forehead and rubs your back soothingly.

"Yeah, you can hold me." You got yourself more comfortable in his lap. If he wanted to coddle you, then you'll let him and milk it for all its worth.

Eddie's hold was strong, almost like he was afraid if he let go, you'd dissappear. He doesn't like seeing you this way. You're beautiful and have no reason to ever question his loyalty to you. Especially over dumb questions, his boss hounds him to ask.

"The interview will be over before you know it, then I'm all yours." He exhaled, resting his head on top of yours. You felt horrible for what you did earlier. The guilt finally settled in.

He shifts in his seat. "Don't worry, I'm gonna have you begging for me in the back of my van after this. I don't think I can wait to get you home."

You knew he wasn't exaggerating either. He's been craving you all day long, and he's not going to pass up on any opportunity to have you. He's also feels bad about hurting you and wants to worship every part of your body.

Eddie needs you to understand just how much he loves you. He's always been better at showing you than telling you. His love language has always been touch and music. So you'll be getting all of that and more tonight.

[khrystalsnow]

2023 Recent Jungkook Fanfics✨

Hello! It's been two years since I've posted a recommendation list for my recently read or favourite reads of the year sooo I decided to do that for the end of the year! I only have a list of Jungkook's fics because he's my bias (plus yoongi and joonie) and just love his fics🫶🏼 I will be posting a separate list for the rest of the members soon🤞🏼 (hopefully). But I hope you guys enjoy and find some really good fics to read during the holidays and all the love for the authors🤭

The majority of fics are 18+ so MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Legend: 🧸-fluff ❤️‍🩹-angst 💋-smut 🙊-crack/funny ❤️‍🔥-personal favourite ✒️-ongoing

jungkook & y/n are too shy to admit they like each other and it's cute but also infuriatingly frustrating by @jungshookz 🙊🧸

-quarterback jungkook and librarian y/n

the right choice by @honeytae 🧸

-friends to lovers and mutual pining, soo cute

million dollar darling by @kooktrash 💋🧸❤️‍🔥

-jungkook and model reader. Personally, one of my new favourite because I loveee old money/rich/chaebol fics🤩

close to you by @muniimyg 🧸💋🙊❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥✒️

-y/n and jungkook slept together and jungkook can't get over it, goofy jungkook and uptight oc. This is soo funny and I look forward to the updates all the time

bonus by @aquagustd 🙊🧸💋

-coworker au where you thought that no one noticed your flustered state whenever he's in close proximity

love on ice by @btsbrat 🧸💋

-cocky hockey player jungkook and figure skater reader

cutie in the kitchen by @borathae 🧸

-married life when jungkook cooks breakfast for oc and flirts the entire morning😭

the witch sisters by @rkivepetals 🧸🙊

-heartthrob witch jungkook meeting witch reader's sisters/family

why not and how so by @bonny-kookoo 🧸(little bit of ❤️‍🩹)💋❤️‍🔥

-jungkook figuring out that oc's dirty humour, mean and bratty actions is just a front and you're just a cutie pie inside

mugs & kisses by @minisugakoobies 🧸❤️‍🔥

-sooooo cuteeee, JK barista and his way of showing his love: drawings on coffee cups

sweet nothing by @adonis-koo ❤️‍🩹🧸❤️‍🔥✒️

-oc being a pregnant guest at the Jeon Estate because of her brother

kismet by @wnderkoo 🧸💋❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥

-bookstore owner jungkook and oc who desperately needed to get a job

angel in the marble by @venusjeon ❤️‍🩹💋🙊❤️‍🔥

-michelangelo jungkook and servant reader

laundry fairy by @borathae 💋

-neighbours au where JK comes over to help with your laundry and more

ungodly hour series by @explicit-tae 💋🙊❤️‍🔥

-college students where you need a hulu account and jungkook is a BIG TIME SIMP

[sister-lucifer]

Taken To Another World 

⊹₊⟡⋆A Multifandom Fantasy AU Themed 5K Celebration Writing Challenge⊹₊⟡⋆

Special thanks to @ghostboneswrites2 for inspiring this! 

Interested? Keep reading! 

There will be two prompts for each genre; a pair for fluff, a pair for smut, a pair for angst, and a pair for horror. Each prompt comes with its own criteria, so read carefully! 

How To Participate: 

Reblog this post (for reach! thanks!) 

Pick a prompt (or multiple) 

Write your fic 

Post it and tag me (feel free to send it to me directly if I don’t see it!) 

Use the tag #lucifer’s 5k fantasy challenge 

The fandoms this challenge is open to are as follows: 

Obey Me!, Creepypasta, Marble Hornets, Batman (and all related media), Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure (all parts), and any original characters/universes.

Don’t see your fandom? You’re still free to use these prompts (and please tag me if you do so I can see it,) but it unfortunately will not count as an entry for this challenge!

Rules: 

Feel free to pick multiple prompts, but you cannot enter more than one fic per prompt! 

The fics can be part of your own ongoing series, but they must be able to stand alone as their own piece without the additional context of the series 

Please state which prompt you chose somewhere on your post 

Feel free to cross post your work to another site such as Ao3, but please, do mention that it was part of my challenge 

Anyone can participate in this challenge, however I ask that minors stay away from the NSFW prompts 

You are free to bend the prompts as you wish, there is no mandatory time period or setting 

My inbox and messages are always open if you need to ask questions, consult me, or just want to discuss ideas!

The fics can be Character x Reader, Character x OC, or Character x Character; relationships can be platonic or romantic as you wish

Some prompts are written with pairs in mind; feel free to modify this to fit in as many characters as you’d like. Poly relationships included!

Absolutely NO incest OR pedophilia under any circumstances 

NO AI, NO using other people’s writing, and NO using a piece you’ve already written

Pay attention to the criteria! Prompt 1 will have a required quote, and Prompt 2 will have a required plot point/action

The Deadline is currently undecided. This will be updated soon 

Winners: 

I will choose up to 3 finalists for each prompt.  The finalists will be presented in a poll, and the readers will choose the winner. 

The winner of each prompt will get their own shoutout/promo post including an analysis of what I liked about their fic, & at least 3 fics I recommend from them and why. 

Does all that sound like fun? Good! Here’s your prompts:

Over The River, Through The Woods…

Fluff + Faeries

Prompt 1:  In a fit of rebellion, a naive royal flees from the castle and into the woods. They stumble upon a faerie who, against all they’ve ever been taught, seems rather…kind. 

Necessary Criteria: “Anyone can do a good thing if they try.” / “Well…how often do you try?”

Prompt 2: Fae don’t often leave their villages, except to gather. Unfortunately, one foolish faerie has found themself entangled in a trap left behind by a human hunter. Even worse, the human has returned to see what they’ve caught; although, they seem far more curious than hostile. 

Necessary Criteria: One of the characters teaches the other a new word in their native tongue. 

Magic Begins In Superstition, And Ends In Science…

Angst + Alchemy 

Prompt 1: The job of an alchemist’s apprentice is rarely an easy one. Magic is a fickle mistress, after all. When the apprentice’s companion tries to pull them away from their work, the argument gets heated, until the pressure becomes too much and causes an intense explosion…literally. 

Necessary Criteria: “You’re not even smart enough to understand what I do, and you think you get to tell me when to stop working?!”

Prompt 2: The alchemist’s work is starting to consume them. Blinded by their pursuit of knowledge, they recklessly decide to slip a bit of their newest experimental concoction into their companion’s meal without their knowledge. The alchemist convinces themselves this is all for the greater good, and surely nothing all that bad could happen, but soon comes to regret it. 

Necessary Criteria: A horrible transformation. 

The Tongue May Be Twice As Sharp And Thrice As Lethal As The Blade…

Smut + Swords 

Prompt 1: A rivalry between two swordsman gets a bit out of hand when the pair decide to make a salacious bet over a duel: whoever loses must play submissive to the other, starting from the moment they drop their sword. 

Necessary Criteria: “Don’t think I’ll surrender that easily.” / “Mm, I didn’t think you would…I like it so much more when you’re fiery.”

Prompt 2: A courageous knight rescues a royal from the clutches of peril, and their majesty simply can’t let their hero leave without thoroughly rewarding them for such bravery. 

Necessary Criteria: The pair narrowly avoid being caught in the act. 

Cursed Is The Man Who Dies, But The Evil Done By Him Survives…

Horror + Hexes

Prompt 1: Foolish explorers accidentally wander into a witch’s garden. One of them can’t resist plucking a berry from a bush, not giving it a second thought as they swallow it down, only for the horrific consequences of a curse to start taking form the next day. 

Necessary Criteria: “Please…you have to tell me you know how to make this stop.” 

Prompt 2: While treasure hoarding is generally frowned upon among honorable bounty hunters, some simply can’t kick the habit. This quickly proves to be a terrible mistake, though, as a cursed trinket starts to warp its owner’s mind and plunge them into a darkness that turns them on the one they love most. 

Necessary Criteria: Creative use of an everyday object as a weapon. 

Final Reminders:

Most importantly: Have Fun! 

Make sure to read the rules carefully! 

You’re always free to ask questions! 

Tag me in your entry + use the tag #lucifer’s 5k fantasy challenge! 

Happy Writing, everyone!

(even if you don’t plan to participate, please reblog and share this post so others will see it!)

[softpascalito]

Dulcissima I Marcus Acacius x Vestal!Reader I Chapter III

! This Fic contains major spoilers for Gladiator II ! Proceed with caution !

Pairing: Marcus Acacius x Vestal Virgin Reader Rating: Explicit / MDNI Word count: 12k+ Tags: Secret Relationship, Vestal Virgins, Religious Guilt, Gladiator fights, Gladiator II compliant (more or less), Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Ancient Rome, Age Difference, Slow Burn (ish), Injury, Kissing, Historical Inaccuracy, More tags to be added (!)

AO3 // Series Masterlist // Masterlist // Fic Playlist

notes: ! last major spoiler warning for gladiator II below the cut !

we finally get a little glimpse into the life of the vestals in this chapter. i'm trying to write this in a way that requires no prior knowledge of them, but if it sounds interesting to you, i'd highly recommend reading up on them, it's very interesting! also wanted to mention from here on we will dive into how acacius and our vestal get to know each other (until we reach the plot of gladiator II again). enjoy! <3

vestal (vigins) - priestesses of vesta, virgin goddess of Rome's sacred flame dulcissima - sweetest (fond nickname) vero - yes paludamentum - a cloak worn by high ranking military officials bonam noctem - good night

Chapter III

211 AD

You whisper small apologies under your breath as you carefully pierce the needle through Acacius' skin, feeling him tremble under your touch. “Only one more, then I am done. I promise,” you mumble, casting an anxious glance at his face and the cold sweat building on his forehead. “Take a deep breath. Stay with me, vero?”

He nods, his voice rumbling deep in his chest when he speaks up. “I always stay with you.”

“That is not what I meant,” you mumble back and wince as he tenses at the last stitch. You quickly tie the loose ends of the thread together and lift the wet rag to his arm again, wiping down the fresh blood that's trickling from the wound. It’s not too much but you do not need to be a medicus to know that he has lost too much of it today.

Your hands shake as you reach for your gown, ripping a long shred off it. Acacius raises his head at the noise, staring at you. “What is this for?”

“What do you think it is for? That wound cannot stay unprotected.” You reach around his arm, beginning to tightly wrap the linen around it, soon covering the red stains that slowly appear on the first few layers. You have seen him wounded–in fact, you can barely recall a time where he has been completely healthy. But you haven't seen him so weak before. His head keeps drooping, like he will fall asleep in his seated position in mere moments.

With a satisfied nod you tie the bandage into place, nudging the General's shoulder as you make to stand. “Acacius.”

Soft brown eyes stare up at yours, a sliver of something odd in them. It only lasts a moment–then he shakes his head as if to get rid of the ill feeling settling over his body. “You have to go.”

“I cannot leave you alone when you are like this. You need someone to watch over you. You’ve lost blood and the wound–” You are cut off by a strong arm curling around your waist, pulling you down onto his lap like it costs him no effort at all. At least he is limiting his movements to his unwounded arm.

“Acacius–” Before you have a chance to speak properly, his lips crash onto yours. The kiss tastes of blood and wine and desperation. You do not have it in you to put up any resistance, instead letting him take what he so clearly needs in this moment. Your hand creeps up his chest, ghosting over his red tunic and the exposed skin of his neck until you reach his hair. A small sigh travels from your mouth into his quite involuntarily when one of his soft curls wraps around your index finger. The world could crash and burn around you. He would still find time to press his lips onto yours, to hold you tight.

When he pulls back, you’re both panting, his chest rising and falling next to you. His arm is still wrapped tightly around your waist and you reach for his hand, intertwining it with your free one. A squeeze is his immediate response. His eyes fly back and forth between your eyes and you can practically feel his words coming. You’re half tempted to kiss him again, just to keep him from speaking.

“Dulcissima, I need you to listen to me.” You open your mouth to argue but he gives a firm shake of his head. “No. There is no time. I need you to take the path at the back of the house. Go back to the Temple. If anything happens–”

“What would happen?” You interrupt, your voice shaking slightly. Your stomach lurches slightly as you think back to what he has told you mere weeks before. His troops, that will be landing in Ostia and marching towards Rome.

“If there are riots–”

“No. I'm not leaving you. Not now,” you choke out, raising your voice slightly. It echoes eerily in the otherwise silent atrium. You know your tears are as imminent as the riots outside the door.

“If there are riots–” Acacius repeats, and you hate how controlled and stern his voice sounds. You aren't one of his soldiers. Yet he speaks to you like one. You’re ready to follow him no matter where he goes. But he is not your General. “–I will personally make sure some of our best soldiers are sent to protect you and the others. We have always protected the Vestals with our lives, you know we have.”

A choked sound leaves your throat because he is already speaking like a man who doesn't plan to return in the morning. Acacius pulls you in closer, wrapping both arms around your trembling form. His dried blood leaves stains on the linen of your white dress. No matter how careful he is with his hands, he always leaves you stained. Red, no matter where he goes. He turns flourishing cities into battlefields and their citizens into grievers. Wives into widows, children into orphans.

No more.

“Rome will fall. Won’t it?” You whisper into his chest and you feel him sway slightly as he shakes his head. He takes a deep breath before nudging your head back just enough to press his forehead against yours.

“No. The Emperors will fall. Rome will rise out of their ashes.”

His face tells you that he is speaking the truth. And this is precisely what scares you. “I want to stay with you. You cannot make me leave,” you whimper, squeezing his hand so tight that it must hurt. He presses one last kiss to your forehead before nudging you up with his leg, forcing you to stand again.

“Truthfully, I cannot make you. I can only ask.” A sad smile decorates his lips as he looks up at you, his eyes gone soft. “Besides, it is bad luck to touch someone marked for death, dulcissima. You of all people should know that.”

***

209 AD

You carefully balance the slender pot of water between your hands, the ceramic cold against your fingertips. Tending to the herb garden is one of your preferred duties, allowing you to feel the warmth of the sun on your skin while you work. The temple is never cold, not with the fire of Rome burning in its middle. But the longer your shifts become, the more weary you become of the lack of the sky and sun above.

Tipping the pot over ever so slightly, you let a thin string of water flow down onto the row of small herbs that stick out of the ground. Your head tilts upward towards a blue sky, just enough to peek over the roof of the house that you and the other Vestals live in, located right next to the temple of Vesta–and conveniently at the foot of Palatine Hill.

You can see the General’s–no, you mentally correct yourself, remembering your conversation with him–Lucilla’s house from here, at least the part that is not hidden by trees. You haven't seen him again since taking his will and storing it safely in one of the upper chambers, labeling it carefully and placing it on its assigned shelf, to be retrieved only in one of two cases–on his command or his death. The thought makes you shiver and you mumble a quiet prayer for him to the earth below you.

You see people, mostly women, come to the temple to pray to Vesta. To ask the goddess of the house and hearth for safety, for enough food on their table, for the health of their family. You pray with them, of course. You pray for each and every citizen of Rome. But you remember what one of the older Vestals said to you when you arrived at the house as a mere child, picked for nearly a lifetime of service.

Her eyes had been kind as she had bent down, adjusting the veil that was still much too big on your form.

“She is not just in the flame, my child. She is in the smoke that rises above and the earth that stretches below. Vesta will always hear you. She will always be near.”

You bow your head towards the earth at that, setting the pot aside to instead place your hands between the green and brown, fingertips grazing the earth that feeds you.

It is one of your tasks to pray for all of Rome, often with a special few words for the soldiers, to ask Vesta for their safe and victorious return. But the image in front of your eyes shifts as you speak the prayer that falls off your lips so naturally. It summons the memory of the gentle, brown eyes that promised you their trust.

Keep him safe.

It is a prayer you repeat over and over again, sending it into the earth as well as the air as you kneel under the roman sun, asking for the gods to hear you.

When you raise your head again, squinting slightly as your eyes adjust once more to the brightness of the day, he is there.

You called on the gods. But it is Acacius who has appeared.

You see him taking slow steps through his garden, one hand outstretched as he lets it brush past the fields of lavender. Your own hand, still tucked into the bed below you, moves against the herbs absent-mindedly as your eyes stay fixed on the small figure above the Forum Romanum.

He’s too far away to make out his expression–or even his face. But the broad shoulders, the red paludamentum, the gentleness with which he carries himself–they all let you know it is Acacius you’re looking at. It’s like he has heard your prayers and instead of waiting for one of the gods to answer, he has taken them upon himself.

It happens more frequently after that. The courtyard garden of the Vestals spans almost the entire length of the house, with two small pools lowered into the ground on each side. You pass around it by day and by night and your gaze flies between the columns and upward more frequently than ever.

Just in passing, of course. Just for reassurance. A constant, a joyful moment when you spot his figure. A pinch of something else in your stomach, something you force yourself to ignore, when you see Lucilla's robes billowing in the wind while she walks beside him. He rarely wears his armour, but when he does, it glistens in the sun, reflecting the rays of light, almost blinding.

You often wonder what he is thinking about. If he is pondering the next campaign, possibly even politics, though you have rarely heard about him being involved in them. He strikes you more as a soldier than a politician. A man as loyal to his army as he is to the Emperors.

“Senator Gracchus told me that they are moving some troops south,” Severa announces as you settle down for your evening meal. She is about your age, having been chosen in the same year as you. And she has taken the most interest in politics out of all the current six priestesses, often volunteering to deliver and pick up scrolls from the palace or the senate to hear the news of the day.

“Did he say why?” You ask as you reach for the carafe of wine, motioning towards her glass and, at her nod, pouring her some. You repeat the motion with your own glass before leaning back again.

“No. But I suppose the people further south are not happy.” Her voice drops slightly as she speaks. “They do not wish to risk an uprising, that I am sure of.” You nod carefully, casting a glance to the other side of the room where the two eldest vestals are taking their meal. It is not your duty to meddle in politics. You are the guardians of the hearth of Rome. Day and night, one of you is always in the temple, watching over the flame. Making sure it does not burn low.

If extinguished, it is not just the fall for the Vestals. It predicts the fall of Rome. So now more than ever, you do your duty carefully.

“May I ask you something?” Severa leans towards you, always keeping one careful eye on the others. Making sure neither of you are drawing attention to yourself.

You nod, adjusting your voice to her level as you set down your glass. “Of course. Is something the matter?”

She gives a quick, short shake of her head. “No, not the matter. I was just curious–” You raise a brow at that, though you both know neither of you mean each other harm. “Curiosity is a dangerous trait for a Vestal.”

“Curiousity is a dangerous trait for any woman,” Severa whispers back, lowering her eyes onto the floor. You understand why. It is not easy to speak ill of something. It is simply not in your nature. It goes against the years of teaching you have sat through. “You brought the will of the General, did you not?”

You feel your cheeks heat slightly at the mention of Acacius and shift onto your side, hoping that the dim light inside the room hides the way your face flushes. “Yes. The first one I collected, actually.”

“You collect Generals now?”

Neither of you can successfully stifle the giggles that follow her question and you quickly bow your head, just as one of the older Vestals calls out to you. “If you are finished with your meal, please retire to your quarters and get some rest.” You both nod, whispering apologies into their direction as you stand up.

“I am to guard the flame tonight,” Severa adds softly and the other of the two women nods.

“Then you may take your fellow priestess to her quarters and head to the Temple after.” You mumble your good nights to the others, walking along the courtyard in silence. The noise of cicadas fills the night that has settled over the valley. When you stop outside the door to your cubiculum, you pause. “Why did you ask about the General?”

For a moment, you think Severa will not answer, her shoulders shrugging slightly as if to dismiss her prior interest. “I heard some of the Senators speak of him. I merely wondered how he seemed to you.”

“Kind,” you blurt out before you can stop yourself. He was kind to me.

Her brows furrow slightly but then she nods, giving you a gentle smile. “I better go and not leave the others waiting. Bonam noctem.”

“Bonam noctem,” you repeat quietly. A few moments later, you pull your door closed behind you and begin to undress. When you crawl into the bed placed near the far end of the room, your mind is already distracted and you allow your thoughts to slip out of the small window and rush up the hill. They settle between a field of lavender and wait for a light to appear in one of the windows of the house, just as you extinguish yours.

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[brummiereader]

She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not (ONE SHOT/ DARK!TOMMY & YANDERE! ARTHUR)

Summary: Enter the mad paranoia of Tommy and his brother Arthur as they try to prove to themselves that you and Bunny's loyalty belongs with them after their discovery of your planned escape.

Warnings: Language, violence, angst, mentions of blood, mentions of murder, psychological mind games, psychological manipulation, psychological abuse, controlling behaviour, Dark!Tommy & Yandere!Arthur (This is a dark fic, please read the warnings before continuing)

Authors Note: This story is a merge of two worlds, Dark!Tommy & Y/N from "Killing Me Softly" and Yandere!Arthur & Bunny from "Hey Bunny", written by my incredibly talented friend and mutual @call-sign-shark. I can't recommend enough to go and check out her fantastic series!

" Look at 'em Tom" Arthur said quietly to his brother as he turned his back to you and Bunny from across the room sitting at the large mahogany table next to eachother. " They think we don't know what they're up to" he grinned darkly as his younger brother smirked in agreement, watching you pull up the strap of your emerald dress. Little did you know yours and Bunny's plan to escape the shackles of torment the two Shelby brothers had been relentlessly inflicting on you both would soon be eclipsed by another plan, one the siblings had concocted a fortnight ago after finding out your intentions to flee. "Why would they do that ay, scheming behind our backs like that? Don't they fucking love us? " Arthur said through gritted teeth, his mood quickly changing from anticipation of playing out their sadistic game to a temper rapidly rising within him. Volatile, unhinged and quick to snap. If Tommy wanted the night to go as planned he needed to calm his brothers erratic emotions and keep control of the situation.

" Here" Tommy said pulling out a small blue bottle of cocaine from his suit pocket which Arthur snatched out of his hand like a starved animal, snorting its contents within a few seconds. " After tonight we'll... Ey! Arthur, Listen!" Tommy said tapping the side of his brothers cheek in attempts to hold his attention as Arthur wiped the remnants of the white powder from his nose. " After tonight we'll know. We'll no where their loyalties stand" Tommy said with his hand firmly placed on his older brothers shoulder as Arthur nodded his head glancing over at Bunny.

"I can't lose my Bunny Tommy" Arthur said, his eyes wide, his body suddenly jittery with panic as he looked back to his brother.

" Fuck sake..." Tommy mumbled under his breath. Clearly the sweet release of his brothers preferred drug of choice hadn't warranted the affect he had hoped for or at least, not yet. " Arthur will you calm the fuck down, you're starting to creep me out" he replied cocking a brow as he returned to looking at you. His eyes roaming over your body as he bit his bottom lip imagining you naked as he pinned you...

" Tom, Tom..." Arthur said nudging his brothers arm with his elbow, breaking him out of his fantasy or rather, the plans he had for you at the end of the evening.

"She nearly escaped a few weeks ago" Arthur said quietly as he looked over to Bunny staring aimlessly into her glass, watching the amber liquid glisten from the warm light of the chandeliers as the soft music from the gramophone played out.

" And I told you. You gotta double lock. They're sneaky Arthur, they'll try and find a way out" Tommy replied as Arthur's eyes cast down to the wooden floorboards, mentally scolding himself for forgetting his brothers wise words of wisdom. After all, Tommy had become an expert in this field of debauchery. "Chin up, ey?"

" Yeh Tom, yeh..." Arthur replied as he pinched his bottom lip together, sniffing back his worries. " Right, fuck" he said clapping his hands together shaking of the last remnants of his wandering paranoia.

" That's it brother. Come on, let's have some fun" he said patting his back as they strode over to you both, the evenings festivities minutes away from starting. "Bunny" Tommy said with a smirk etched on his face as Arthur stood beside him, biting his inner cheek as he tried to hold back his excited amusement. " Sweetheart" he said sending you a wink as he looked at you from head to toe, his eyes glazing over with a smoky hue of lust as he got lost in his thoughts once again. "You two have been busy, haven't you?" Tommy said as he lit a cigarette looking between you both as Arthur wagged his index finger back and forth.

"Con..cocting something" Arthur added, his jaw tightening at the mere thought of deception as Bunny's hand squeezed yours under the table, her pulse beating so fast you could feel it vibrating against your skin.

"Arthur" Tommy said nodding to his brother who reached under the table, pulling out both of your suitcases. " Tut tut tut, going on a holiday without us, huh ladies?" Tommy said with a smirk glaring at you as your eyes widened in disbelief. You had both been so careful, so diligent in your plans. It was a miracle you managed to get as far as you had with the few times Arthur had brought Bunny over to Arrow house. "Your clothes, the children's clothes. Did you not pack anything of mine for this little getaway?" Tommy said as Arthur slammed the suitcases onto the table in front of you, pouring out both of their contents.

" Yeh, didn't see my swimming trunks in there Bunny" Arthur spat as he stared her down, the vein in his neck protruding from his escalating fury.

" A..Arthur, I...I" Bunny sobbed, stumbling her words out as Arthur loomed over the table, his fists clenched so tight they turned a ghostly shade of white. He was keeping her safe, keeping her from the dangers this city held for every woman that dared to venture out alone, why didn't she see that? Who knows what crazed person she could have run into, it's a good thing he was there to stop her from making that mistake. Arthur thought to himself as he stood up straight, rolling his shoulders of the tension that had been building up.

" Now you've both been very naughty. And we don't like naughty girls do we brother?" Tommy said picking up one of your lace knickers from within the pile by the end of his finger, cocking a brow as he put it in his suit jacket.

" No we don't. We like respectable, honest, loyal...obedient girls" Arthur said sniffing back the remnants of the cocaine he had snorted.

"That's right. You see, me and Arthur are starting to feel like your loyalty doesn't belong with, like you don't... love us"

" We feel betrayed, unappreciated"

" Those are strong word's brother. But betrayed and used we are, and after everything we have done for you" Tommy said furrowing his brow, an expression of hurt spread across his face, believable if it wasn't for the smirk playing mischievously on the corner of his mouth. "So, seeing how you two like to play games we have each come up with a way you can prove your loyalty to us and put our poor tired minds at ease. Right Arthur..."

" Tommy... darling, wait..." You panicked, tears welling in your eyes as Bunny quietly whimpered beside you, her hand now gripping yours even tighter.

" Not now sweetheart. The games about to start" Tommy said as he stood up from the edge of the table. "Arthur, if you don't mind" he said taking a drag of his cigarette as he leaned against the back of the sofa behind him.

" Eeny, meeny, miny, moe..." Arthur started to sing as his finger moved from you to Bunny. "Catch a spider by.."

" Tiger Arthur, it's fucking tiger" Tommy sighed, rubbing his brow with his thumb.

" Same bloody thing" Arthur replied snapping his head back to his brother about to finish the rhyme when Tommy interjected again.

"Tell me eh, when was the last time you saw a spider with toes Arthur?" Tommy huffed as he and Arthur started get into an argument over the words to the nursery rhyme whilst bunny squeezed your hand, her eyes darting to the door then back to you to which you furiously shook your head at. There was no way you would both make it out, no matter how intense their ridiculous argument was getting. Whatever punishment was heading your way would be far worse if you tired to take your chances and make a run for it. " Alright! Alright! Just get on with it" Tommy said giving up, as Arthur's face lit up with a satisfied grin.

" It's toe, if it wiggles..." He said stopping his finger at bunny, wagging his finger from side to side with a unhinged grin on his face. " I'm gonna come over there and make you wiggle" Arthur giggled climbing over the table to Bunny when Tommy kicked the bottom of his boot.

" Arthur, behave " Tommy chuckled, they were enjoying this, their twisted little game no doubt the highlight of their week.

"Let it go, eeny, meeny, miny, moe" Arthur finished his finger pointing at you." You're up Y/N" Arthur announced as Tommy stood up grinning from ear to ear. " Y/N get up" Arthur said with his arms on his hips huffing as he looked back to Tommy. He wanted his turn and you were holding up the nights festivities with your reluctance to move. " She ain't budging Tom"

" Tommy please I'm sorry. I got scared, we got scared we panicked. Tommy our children..." You said tears streaming down your face as your eyes darted from Bunny to your husband .

" It's true Arthur, we just..." Bunny started to say as she swallowed back her tears.

" See this is the kind of shit you shouldn't fool for. Crocodile tears that's all that is. Arthur, please..." Tommy said cutting Bunny off as he motioned to the table, which Arthur flipped over in one quick motion.

" Aw would you look at that Tom. They're holding hands" Arthur pointed out to his brother at you and Bunny still clinging onto eachother for dear life, a film of sweat the only thing separating you.

" Adorable" Tommy said as he blew a cloud of smoke through the smirk on the corner of his mouth.

" Sister in law's supporting eachother, it's gonna make me cry." Arthur taunted as Bunny's eyes snapped to him, her face suddenly going a deathly shade of white at the thought of being shackled to this crazed man for life. " Yehh that's right Bunny, gonna make a Shelby out of you one day. Put a Shelby in that belly too. Maybe we'll skip the wedding part first, ay? He grinned as his tongue pressed on the roof of his mouth, his rabid eyes roaming over her body.

" Come on Arthur your scaring her" Tommy chuckled darkly as he flicked the ash of the end of his cigarette onto the floor.

"Yeh well, you're already on your third I gotta catch up" Arthur replied in annoyance that his baby brother was ahead of him in anything.

"What can I say I have strong swimmers" Tommy smirked winking to you. The only reason why Tommy was now a father of three was he never gave your body a moment's rest before he would climb on top of you again and have his way after each birth of your children, you were a laying hen, not a wife. "Come on darling, up you get" Tommy said walking over to you as he grabbed you by your arm, pulling you away from Bunny whose hand was still desperately holding onto yours, both of you now crying uncontrollably, every sob every whimper laced in terror. Breaking you apart, Arthur grabbed hold of Bunny as she scrambled forward to you.

" Now now Bunny, we have to take turns " Arthur said as his hand came down to her waist his fingers lacing between the soft fabric of her white flowing dress, one he had brought especially for her. She looked so innocent so pure. But Why was she crying, tonight was supposed to be fun? He thought to himself as he tried to catch her eye, her refusal to do so twisting his stomach into a knot of anger that he quickly digested before he lost his temper and spoiled the evenings games. "Come on Bunny" he said guiding her over to the sofa as you and Tommy were now sat opposite eachother at a small table in the corner of the room.

" Do you love me Y/N?" Tommy asked as he pulled a revolver from his holster.

"Of...of course..." You replied sniffing back your tears as he placed it on the table in front of you both, your eyes widening further as he pulled out one single bullet. You were used to Tommy's mind games, but they never involved lethal weapons like the one sitting in front of you. He had already warned you to never attempt to run again, and this time you had been so brazen about your plan you had made it clear with the contents of your suitcase you intended to take his children too.

" And do you trust me?" He asked sitting back as he spun the bullet on the table in a circle.

" Tommy... what's happening, what are you going to do? You replied, your voice shaking as you looked at the bullet spin around one last time, the curved edge now pointing at you.

" I'm the one asking question, now do you trust me?"

"Tommy..."

"Answer the fucking question Y/N!" Tommy snapped slamming his fist onto the table as Arthur giggled at his brothers outburst of anger. " You're making me angry love, and you know what happens when I get angry"

" I trust you Tommy" you quickly reassured him as Tommy glared at you, playing with the bullet between his fingers.

" Good" he said taking the gun, his hand hovering over the chamber as you closed your eyes, blinking the tears away from your blurry vision." We're going to play a little game" he said snapping it shut, spinning the cylinder before placing it back between you both. " Russian Roulette. Learnt it from some batshit crazy Russian years ago. Didn't want to play with her, but I do with you" Tommy smirked as he looked at the confusion on your face having never heard of the game." You won't have to worry your pretty little head with the rules. It's simple" he said, taking every opportunity he could to belittle you. " One bullet, 6 chambers. We take turns firing the gun..." he paused watching your eyes widen " Right here" he finished pointing to the side of his temple, when you abruptly stood up, pushing your chair back as Tommy reached over the table grabbing your arm.

" Tommy no, you're sick! You're fucking insane. I won't do this, I fucking won't!" You shouted to him trying to pull away from his vice-like grip circling your wrist.

" Yes love I know, I'm such a bad man" Tommy said sarcastically having heard you already insult him plenty of times before. " But you will play or else I'll send one of the girls away. And you'll never see them again. Do you understand me?"

" No! You can't do that, Tommy..." You pleaded as he pulled you down back into your chair. Three daughters, you had given him three beautiful girls in the short time you had been married, but that wasn't enough. Tommy wanted a son, an army of sons. And with his lack of a paternal bond with his daughters you knew he wasn't bluffing.

" I can and I will. It's not like we can't have another. He smirked, pushing the gun towards you. " Ladies first"

"Tommy .." you pleaded one last time as you looked at the gun in front of you.

" You're testing my patience sweetheart. If you really want to do this, then fine" Tommy said as he leaned back in his chair looking over his shoulder to the door." Frances, bring me the baby" Tommy called out his eyes darting back to see the fear rising within you as he waited for a response, waited for you to play along. Within seconds you picked up the gun, sobbing as tears streamed down your face. "Never mind" he called out as he nodded his head to the gun in your hand. Lifting the revolver to your temple you squeezed your eyes shut, the coolness from the metal pressing against your skin sending a shiver down your spine. You would die for your children if it meant keeping them safe, if it meant keeping them from their father's torment. With your finger resting above the trigger you closed your eyes, hoping for a way out, from this life, from him. The gun pressed against your head didn't feel so damming after all...click. The chamber was empty, no bullet spent. You was still here, you was still alive. Gasping for air you threw the gun on the table which Tommy picked up, instantly putting it to his head and pulling the trigger without a second thought. Another click. No shot fired. The second turn mirrored the first. Through sobbing tears and thoughts of your children you pulled the trigger again, while Tommy's calm demeanor stayed exactly that, calm. Only two chambers left, one empty one with a bullet that would end either one of your lives.

" Tommy please, I love you, I trust you. We don't need to do this, we dont need to prove anything." You cried as Tommy took the gun putting it in your hand and placing it to your head.

" Pull it Y/N" Tommy said pushing your finger over the trigger.

" Tommy!" You wept uncontrollably, as a rush of fear overtook you, the sudden thought of your children being motherless the only thing holding you back from the years of torment you wanted to escape.

" Fucking pull it! he yelled at you as you wailed holding onto his arm, begging him to stop."Pull it!" He shouted again as you closed your eyes, the image of your daughter's playing within the grounds of Arrow House flashing before you...click. Dropping the gun on the table your hand flew to you mouth, you felt sick physically sick. But with no time to reflect on what had just happened Tommy had the gun already pointed to the side of his head...click. The gun was empty, it had been fucking empty all this time.

" See Tommy lad, she does trust you!" Arthur cheered as you abruptly stood up from your chair, your hands out behind you as you stumbled back away from Tommy's piercing stare, away from the smirk and enjoyment spread across his face.

"You tricked me! " you screamed as Tommy stood up and marched towards you, pinning you between the wall as his body.

" What, you think I want the mother of my children dead or fatherless? Oh darling, I never play by the rules, you should know that by now" he said as his hand cupped your cheek his eyes centimeters from yours. " I told you to trust me and you did, there's no doubt where your loyalty stands where your love stands" he said quietly in your ear, a slow exhale of hot air from his lips sending a wave of goosebumps down you neck.

" Look how your getting me" he smiled against your delicate flesh as he grabbed your hand cupping it around the growing bulge under his suit trousers, his aroused state throbbing under your hand as you turned your head away in disgust at his sadistic kink. " I'm gonna fuck you so hard tonight, I'll put a fourth in you. A fucking son." Tommy seethed in your ear whilst an untimely hint of a smirk graced your lips, unable to hold back the satisfaction that Tommy, the man who gets what he wants whenever he wants didn't have control over mother nature. You should have known better than to let it slip, for everything you did that displeased Tommy was worthy of punishment, and that small smirk hadn't gone unnoticed.

" Don't look Bunny" Arthur laughed with his arm wrapped around her shoulders. " My baby brothers pretty sick, he gets off from that kind of thing. Don't worry though sweetheart, I'm not like that" Arthur said with a smirk, his legs widening, pushing hers further to the edge of the sofa as he glared at her heaving chest.

"Your turn Arthur" Tommy said grabbing your hands, putting them behind your back as he walked you over to the sofa opposite them.

" Y/N..." Bunny cried wanting to reach out to you and she watched you slump into the sofa, the colour drained from your body. You were a broken woman. And as Tommy placed his arm around you, pulling you into his side, his lips ghosting over your neck, she suddenly felt like she was watching her own future. Beaten, broken and tired. Would this be her fate too?

" Bring in the contestants" Arthur jumped up as he walked over to the door snapping Bunny out of the haunting image of herself chained to a life of misery and abuse.

" Come on, fucking move" Arthur said behind the door as he walked in with two young men bound and gagged his gun pointing to their backs. "Kneel" Arthur spat, pushing the two men in front of Bunny as they struggled to keep themselves from falling over at her feet.

"Arthur, what's going on?" she said shifting forward in her seat, her eyes darting in a panic from Arthur to the two men in front of her as your own eyes widened in horror at the realisation of who they were. A chauffeur Tommy had hired only a few weeks ago, a sweet boy who's sole focus was the job in hand. And then...Harry. The stable boy who had been working on the grounds of Arrow House since he was a child. Both innocent young men, but not in the eyes of Arthur. For Arthur they had overstepped the line and he was seeking justice.

"Both of them were ogling you when we visited three weeks ago, so pick" he said matter of fact, without any further detail.

"Pick, what .."

" Pick one" Arthur replied handing her the gun as he sat beside her, his arm back securely draped over her shoulders as she watched the whimpers and cries of both the men, or rather boys hunched over eyes cast down. " So bunny, who's the lucky fella?" Arthur said turning to her staring blankly between both men. "Bunny?"

" Arthur no, nobody looked at me and even if they did I... I only have eyes for you I only want you. " Bunny pleaded knowing the very words he wanted to hear. Smiling, Arthur brushed his thumb down her cheek wiping the lone tear from her soft skin.

"Sorry darling but you're gonna have to pick. Both of these dirty fucks were looking at you, and I can't have that Bunny. But since I'm a forgiving man, a gentleman..." He said his moustache twitching at his high regard for himself. "...you only have to pick one" Arthur said as Bunny started to cry at the realisation she couldn't escape Arthur's sadistic game as much as you couldn't escape yours.

" Arthur, will you get your girl to fucking hurry up" Tommy said moving his lips from your neck for the briefest of seconds, his hand firmly grasped on your hip to stop you from moving.

"I know this is a big decision but you're making my brother upset Bunny " He said kicking the chauffeur, his muffled whimpers irritating him. "He wants to fuck his wife you see, and since we're guests in his house it's only polite we don't make him wait. Tick tock, tick tock" he smiled looking at the gun in her lap then back to her quivering bottom lip. " Fuck sake " he said standing up taking the gun from her realising her unwillingness to play along. Arthur was precariously on the edge of loosing his temper, his thirst for revenge was strong and he wouldn't end this game before one or both men were six feet under. " Which one bunny, the stable boy or the chauffeur" he smiled unnervingly as he pointed the gun at the back of each of the men's head.

"Arthur no! Stop, please..." Bunny pleaded endlessly, her strained efforts going unheard. You can't reason with a mad man, a man not only consumed by his own paranoia but also his obsession and love for the woman he had be holding captive.

" Pick bunny now! Arthur shouted putting the gun down on a small table beside him as he took a pair of black gloves from his back pocket as the muffled sobs of the two men intensified, the suffocating atmosphere in the room only increasing when Arthur picked up the gun again.

" Arthur we...we just greeted one another...it was innocent, don't make me do this dont do this, please..."

" Bunny I ain't repeating myself. Now pick!" He yelled as he pushed both his hands onto his forehead, pushing back the escalating fury within him, trying with all his might to not...snap. "Fucking pick, pick, pick!

"Arthur stop it, stop!" Bunny screamed closing her eyes when a loud gun shot boomed within the four walls and a heavy thud of a body hit the wooden floorboards below them. " Arthur..." Bunny said as she opened her eyes, her bottom lip wobbling in terror as she looked down in front of her to see the young chauffeur laying on the floor, a pool of blood surrounding his lifeless body.

" Picked for ya bunny" Arthur said his chest heaving up and down, hair disheveled, his eyes crazed as he smiled manically at her.

" Fucking hell Arthur, you got blood all over my walls!" Tommy said gesturing with his hand, more bothered about his immaculate home now splattered with blood than the dead body a few feet away from him.

" Sorry 'bout that brother" Arthur said smoothing his hair back away from his face as he looked down at his work, his grin turning into a satisfied smirk.

" Right we all done for tonight?" Tommy said standing up pulling you up with him, his hand snaking along your back down between your thighs as you squirmed under his touch.

" In the big guest room tonight yeh? With the big bed?" Arthur asked grabbing bunny by the arm pulling her trembling body over the lifeless man below her, dismissive of her horrified state, the tears cascading down her cheeks.

" Enjoy" Tommy winked nodding his head to his brother as he pushed you forward out the room. " Light a fire " Tommy said to one of his men standing by the entrance, gesturing back to the room where a night of carnage and terror had just played out, where Harry was still knelt beside the young man whose life had been so brutally taken. With Tommy's hand firmly on the curve of your back you slowly walked up the stairs, your body still trembling from the nights events.

" Arthur your Bunny's hoping away, keep control of it or put it back in its cage " Tommy said as you came to a stop in front of your room, watching Bunny frantically run down the corridor.

" It's alright, we're just playing" Arthur replied with a crazed giggle as he chased after her. Closing the master bedroom door behind him Tommy watched as you stumbled back to the edge of the bed a devilish grin gracing his lips as he stalked forward undoing his belt.

"Now about that smirk..."

[closer-to-jungkook]

Hey, thief. | KTH

University au!

Pairing: Taehyung x reader

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 2.3k

Warning: curse words (as usual)

Summary: It seems Taehyung can't help but get roped in these late night adventures. This time though, he won't be coming back empty handed.

Note: something short and sweet! I hope you enjoy reading!! This is part of the BTS university series. This fic is connected to my other fic 'Little slave' and I would recommend reading that before, but it can be read as a stand alone too.

Credit: divider by @enchanthings

"Hyungggg can you even see anything."

"Shut up, Kook! I'm trying!"

"Hyung you're too heavy—Ow Jungkook! Stop stepping on my foot!"

"Shut up both you idiots. I think there's someone else in there too."

Yoongi hissed—from where he stood on Jungkook and Taehyung, bent over with hands placed on knees—trying to see inside the room they were spying on through the small window but was only met with darkness and shadowy figures.

"Jungkook stop stepping on me or else-"

Before Taehyung could complete his sentence, he misplaced his footing while trying to get his revenge on Jungkook, and the next thing he knew, they all fell down on the dirty floor, quite loudly.

"Ah ow," "Holy shit-" "Fuck!"

They all lay there in a mess of limbs cursing each other.

"You're so heavy Taehyung, get your ass off of me." Yoongi groaned.

"Now you must know how I was feeling carrying you on to of me." Taehyung mumbled from beneath Jungkook's legs.

"Why is Jungkook suddenly so silent? Did you hit your head kook? Lost those last couple brain cells?" Yoongi turned towards Jungkook but he was staring at the corner of the hallway like a statue.

"Guys. Run." Jungkook said and dashed, leaving the others confused but soon Yoongi followed him ina haste as well leaving only Taehyung behind.

Taehyung raised his head, confused what caused all his friends to book it so fast, but was soon met with the reason. Finally seeing the thing that made them flee.

You heard them before you actually saw them. It was dark, but you could still make out three figures two of them crouched with the third balancing on top of them.

They were all right outside of Professor Lee's office window.

Just as you were looking—trying to figure out what exactly was going on—they lost their balance and fell to the floor from where they noticed you. At first only one of them, who ran as if he saw a ghost, and then the second—both whose faces you couldn't see—leaving the third specimen behind.

He stood up and looked around in panic.

"May I ask what exactly you and your friends were doing right now?"

"I- we- nothing- I'll explain-" but he cut himself off when suddenly the lights inside the office turned on.

With the halway now visible through the little light filtering through the window, his face was more visible, and boy was he cute. But that's not important right now.

Before you could process what's happening the specimen was pushing you towards a dark corner and looking out to see if anyone was gonna pop out from the corners.

He only let go of you and gave you some space when the lights went off after ten minutes. All while he had a hand placed on your mouth, his panicked heartbeat practically audible.

"So, are going to say something or not?" You asked again after he had moved away. "Wait don't tell me you were here to steal the question papers for the next exams." He had been looking around trying to find a way to get rid of you, but the moment these words left your mouth, his head snapped up and his eyes went wide.

"I- No! ...look I can explain."

"Oh god, so you really were here for that."

In a second, his demeanour changed, as if a switch was turned off. He looked you in the eye and started walking towards you in slow, calculated steps. You started taking steps back until your back hit the wall. He looked at you with dark eyes and an intimidating expression. Was this the same person who looked like a lost puppy just now?

"Do you even know who we are?" He asked in a deep voice.

"No-" you replied.

"What our names are?"

"Um, no but-"

"Then you can't do anything. You have nothing to prove you ever saw me here. Ha ha" He dashed screaming behind his shoulder and began laughing.

Well, at least you knew his expressions could change really fast.

The next day Taehyung sat in Mr. Lee's class, clearly avoiding a specific friend's eyes who sat at the front. Although a little confused as to why Hoseok, the TA, was smirking at her. He had no idea. Jung was strange in many ways, so he decided not to pay him any mind.

He hurried out of the class the moment their professor dismissed them and made his way to the cafeteria, where he'd meet up with his other friends.

He went there to see Jungkook already there, chatting with another one of his friends. "So how'sthen we neighbor?" Jungkook asked in casual tone leaning back with his signature shiteating grin, which made her sputter out the juice she was drinking.

By the time she recovered and Taehyung decided to make his presence known to them both, he felt a presence behind him.

"Hey thief." Someone said right by his ear.

Startled, he looked behind and his eyes met with yours. You were leaning close to his shoulder and smiling innocently. He instantly recognised you. Looking back at the table where his friends sat, he decided to leave them out of this.

"Do you have a couple minutes to spare? So we can talk? Or if you want, we can talk right here." You gestured to the table where he was looking at.

He immediately took hold of your wrist in his hand and tugged you out of the cafeteria and in a secluded corner.

"What are you doing here!? And how did you find me?" He hissed, panic written all over his face. The campus was way too big for her to go searching around him without his name at the very least.

"You were outside of Mr. Lee's office, so it was obvious you were in one of his classes." You explained with a shrug.

"Oh. Wait, did you check each one of the classes that Mr. Lee took to find me!? I believe you didn't go through that much trouble just to say hi to me, did you?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Not really. I found you in his second class only so it wasn't that troublesome. And yeah I do have something I need from you." You gave him an easy smile.

"I wonder what that might be."

"I want to ask a favour from you. Just little one."

"And what makes you think that I'd help you willingly." He crossed his arms.

"Let's see, you were involved in the stealing of exam papers and I caught you red handed." You smiled innocently

"Is that a threat I hear in your voice? You can't go to Mr. Lee though since nothing is actually missing from his office and he won't believe you"

"But I'm sure the sweet TA would love to hear this piece of information. You know how much he enjoys gossip and how good he is at using them in his favour."

"You don't have proof." He scoffed.

You pulled out your phone, and there was a video playing on it.

"So are you going to say something or not?"

"Wait don't tell me you were here to steal the exam papers for next weeks exams."

Taehyung's eyes widened as saw his face, clear in the video playing on your phone.

"I- No!...look I can explain."

"Oh god so you really were here for that."

"Do you even know who we are?"

"No-"

"What our names are?"

"Um no but-"

"Then you can't do anything. You have nothing to prove."

"Now I wonder if that counts as a proof." You gave an exaggerated pout, "But I'm sure Hoseok would like to see that." You blinked up at him.

"So now you're blackmailing me?" He asked incredulously.

"Seems like it." You smiled, making your eyes almost disappear.

"What do you want?"

"This semester's question papers from Mrs. Choi." You said it with a straight face.

"Wh- what!? Are you crazy?" He asked, sputtering.

"Maybe." You giggled. "Now since you already have experience in this field, I thought I'd ask for help. Also, you ruined my chance yesterday. And if you refuse I already have that video."

He stayed silent.

"See you outside the school building, 11 p.m. Don't be late." You winked and shot him finger guns.

When you were out of sight, Taehyung groaned. "What have I gotten myself into."

You reached the school building exactly on time and saw Taehyung already standing there.

Coming up behind him, you whispered in his ear, "Hey thief."

Startled, he said, "Stop sneaking up on me! And my name is Taehyung, so stop calling me that." He said then immediately thought if telling her his name was a good idea. Eh, it's already too late.

"Ok, ok." You raised your hand in surrender. "Now, let's go."

You both made your way in and stopped in front of the office. Slowly pushing the door, you found it unlocked. Maybe the cleaning staff hasn't arrived yet.

Looking for places to search with your phone flash lights, you saw a locked cabinet and pointed towards it with your chin. Taehyung immediately started checking it and found that it was locked.

He took out a small screwdriver and started trying to pick the lock. "Wow, so you really are a professional, huh." You said, eyes rounded in awe.

"Shut up, " he rolled his eyes, and you grinned. Walking towards the door, you decided it would be better to keep a watch out while Taehyung worked with the lock.

While you were looking around, humming to yourself, you heard a clanging sound. At first you thought it came from the outside but soon it was followed by the sound of a door banging shut. Someone was definitely in the building.

You turned around to alert Taehyung,  "Taehyung! I think someone is coming-"

But at that exact moment he let out a groan, kicking at the table beside him.

There was silence, and then you heard heavy but quick footsteps coming your way.

Shit.

"You idiot! Someone is coming here you just announced our presence to them! What do we do now?!"

You both were staring at each other in panic, thinking of a way to get out of this.

You looked up—an invisible light bulb going off in your head—and grabbed at his shoulders, "Okay, don't panic and just play along."

"What-"

"Just pretend!" You hissed and closed the distance between you, your lips hovering just above his and heads tilted in such a way that gave the illusion that you two were kissing.

Taehyung immediately froze in shock. But when a flash light shined just outside the door, he panicked for real and took a step forward.

With that, the next thing you knew, Taehyung had pushed you to the desk and was kissing you—for real. His hands slid down your back, resting below your waist just above your ass. His lips soft and slightly parted as they pressed gently against yours. You were utterly shocked but immediately caught up on the act and put your arms around his shoulder just as the door swung open.

"Oi kids! What are you doing here?"

You both immediately parted and started at the guard, pointing his torch at you.

Your face was red, and your heart was beating loudly from the kiss, or was it from being caught? You didn't know, maybe both.

"You said no would disturb us here at this hour!" You said in false shock, turning towards Taehyung.

But he couldn't utter a word, too stunned by what he just did, just staring at you with large eyes and heated cheeks. After a moment, he let out a nervous giggle, and the guard just sighed in exasperation.

Soon you both were out of the building, walking side by side in silence.

"Well, that was an unexpected turn of events." You broke the silence, and Taehyung flushed a little. "But are you sure that guard won't say anything to the management about..." You gestured between you both with your hands, sneaking a glance at his lips.

"The campus is full of crazy wild kids, what we did was nothing. He probably won't even remember us in the morning. Want to know some of the crazier things that others have done on school property?" He asked casually.

"No, I'm good...but you'd still have to follow my orders, remember I still have that video." You said. Your hand going towards your back pocket to reach for the phone. Nothing.

You stopped in your tracks searching for your phone in your front pockets and jacket when you heard Taehyung speak up a few paces ahead of you, having walked a bit further.

"Looking for something?" He pulled your phone out of his pocket, waving it above his head. "Now now. It's not good to threaten people and blackmail them, don't you think?"

You were gaping at him, unable to form words. When did he even take it—oh, right. The kiss. Just thinking about it again made your face heat up.

"If you want your phone back," Taehyung spoke up again, breaking you from your thoughts, "meet me at the cafe on the fifth block, 8 a.m. Maybe I can even help you study for your exam so you don't have to steal the question papers. Don't be late."

He turned around and started walking away.

You were so shocked at the turn of events that you stayed rooted to your place. This thief stole from you too, huh? First a kiss, then your phone...

"Stop standing there and move. I'll walk you to your dorm. It's kinda late."

...and maybe a bit of your heart too.

A/n: behold, the appearance of a kiss scene for the first time in my writing lol. I'm trying to write something long now, preferably a series.

Thank you for reading!

Ps. If you are curious about what Tae and gang were actually doing in the beginning go and read: Little slave

[her-satanic-wiles]

Welcome to my masterlist!

Commissions are closed!

All my fics, unless stated otherwise, are 18+. So please proceed with caution, and minors do not interact.

If it has a red DF, it means it's dark fiction, and you should heed the trigger warnings. I would actually recommend to people 21+.

If it has a blue S, it means the work is sapphic.

If it has a purple A, it means the work is achillean.

If it has a green GN, it means the reader is gender neutral.

If it has a pink PS, it means the reader is plus size.

No bound copies, translations, or other derivative works of these fics may be created or distributed without express permission from the author, for monetary gain or public use.

Major thank you to @da-rulah for beta reading all of these!

If you like what you've been reading, why not consider supporting me over on Ko-fi?

Enjoy your stay!

Series

Coming soon...

One shots

Titfucking, (Kinktober 2023) PS “Earthly Delight” by @thew0man ART

Glory Hole, (Kinktober 2023) GN

Pregnancy, (Kinktober 2023)

Guess Who? PS

Caning (Kinktober 2024) GN

Series

Divine Desires [COMING SOON] PS

You grew up in the Catholic Church as the daughter of a very powerful Cardinal. However, in your early adulthood, the reigning Pope dies, and the title falls to your father. You learn, as the daughter of a Catholic official, that there are two sides to every story. This lesson is taught by your Satanic counterpart, who does his fair share of opening your eyes to the world around you.

One shots

Hate Sex, (Catholic!Reader) (Kinktober 2023) ⛧ Part 2

Public Sex, (Kinktober 2023) DF (21+)

Lupercalia

Bejewelled

Guess Who? PS

Series

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One shots

Collaring, (Kinktober 2023)

Medical Play, (Kinktober 2023) GN

Threesome or moresome, (+Era 3 Ghouls) (Kinktober 2023) DF (21+)

Thigh Fucking, (Kinktober 2023) PS

Double Penetration In Two Holes, (ft. Cardinal Copia) (Kinktober 2023) A GN

Teratophilia, (Kinktober 2023) DF (21+) PS

Guess Who? PS

Frottage (Kinktober 2024) GN

Series

Dawn Chorus ⛧ Masterlist DF (21+)

When you question the Almighty for a third time, you find yourself on the run and escaping a horde of wrathful angels ready to punish you for your insolence. Whose garden should you fall into than Cardinal Copia’s? And he has more nefarious plans for you.

Hellish Delights ⛧ Masterlist DF (21+)

After a ritual went wrong, you were left to deal with the consequences. Since that fateful night, your moral compass smashed to pieces and you began to feed into your deepest, darkest desires as you continue to come to terms with the traumatic night in question. With the help of two of the people closest to you, you take part in the ultimate sins of the flesh.

Lost in Translation ⛧ Masterlist

As the newly appointed Cardinal Copia struggles with the weight of a looming prophecy, a resilient scholar challenges the narrative, uncovering a conspiracy that reaches beyond the walls of the Ministry. The emergence of a forbidden love ignites a rebellion against a power-hungry Sister, whose thirst for control threatens to reshape the very foundations of the Church. Will the revelation of those schemes lead to liberation or plunge the Ministry into chaos?

One shots

Pegging (Kinktober 2023) GN

Praise Kink, (Kinktober 2023) PS

Olfactophilia, (Kinktober 2023)

Double Penetration In Two Holes, (ft. Papa Emeritus III) (Kinktober 2023) A GN

Free Use, (Kinktober 2023)

Midnight Surveillance DF (21+)

Tulips and Daisies

Guess Who? PS

Piss Kink (Kinktober 2024)

Aphrodisiac (Kinktober 2024) PS

Series

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One shots

Dubcon, (Fan roleplay) (Kinktober 2023) DF (21+)

Orgasm Denial (Kinktober 2023)

Deepthroating & Face Sitting (Kinktober 2023) DF (21+)

Mary "Piss Boy" Goore PS

Era 3

Alpha

Series

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One shots

Threesome or moresome, (+Era 3 Ghouls & Terzo) (Kinktober 2023) DF (21+)

Gale

Series

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One shots

Threesome or moresome, (+Era 3 Ghouls & Terzo) (Kinktober 2023) DF (21+)

Moss

Series

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One shots

Threesome or moresome, (+Era 3 Ghouls & Terzo) (Kinktober 2023) DF (21+)

Omega

Series

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One shots

Threesome or moresome, (+Era 3 Ghouls & Terzo) (Kinktober 2023) DF (21+)

Stream

Series

Coming soon...

One shots

Threesome or moresome, (+Era 3 Ghouls & Terzo) (Kinktober 2023) DF (21+)

Eras 4 & 5

Aurora

Series

Coming soon...

One shots

Food Play (Kinktober 2023) S

Cirrus

Series

Coming soon...

One shots

Sensory Deprivation (Kinktober 2023) S

Object Penetration (Toys - Not Worn) (Kinktober 2024) S

Cumulus

Series

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One shots

Sex Toys (Kinktober 2023) S

Dewdrop

Series

Realm of Souls ⛧ Masterlist DF (21+) A

In the eerie moonlit forest, you are ensnared in a nightmarish game of hide and seek with the malevolent entity Dewdrop, whose demonic force has targeted you. The chilling objective is to survive until sunrise, seeking refuge in the Ministry’s cabin deep within the sinister woods. With the dawn as your only salvation, you must navigate the haunted forest, outwit the relentless demon, and reach safety before Dewdrop claims you as his prize. The race against time intensifies, making the night unforgiving as you strive to survive until sunrise in this twisted pursuit.

One shots

Stuck in Wall (Kinktober 2023) DF (21+)

Panic Attacks and Comfort (ft. Swiss) SFW.

Topping from the Bottom (Kinktober 2024) GN

Mountain

Series

Coming soon...

One shots

Size Kink (Kinktober 2023) GN

Magical Fleshlight (Kinktober 2024)

Phantom

Series

The Cardinal ⛧ Masterlist

You got a promotion, and a new promotion means a new uniform and your very own Ghoul-in-training! That Ghoul just so happens to be your closest friend, Phantom. However, your new uniform and position does something to Phantom that gets harder and harder to deny.

One shots

Coming soon...

Rain

Series

Coming soon...

One shots

Rimming (Kinktober 2023) GN

Fuck or Die (Kinktober 2024)

Swiss

Hellish Delights ⛧ Masterlist DF (21+)

After a ritual went wrong, you were left to deal with the consequences. Since that fateful night, your moral compass smashed to pieces and you began to feed into your deepest, darkest desires as you continue to come to terms with the traumatic night in question. With the help of two of the people closest to you, you take part in the ultimate sins of the flesh.

Coming soon...

One shots

Panties & Lingerie, (Kinktober 2023)

Breathplay, (Kinktober 2023)

Panic Attacks and Comfort (ft. Dewdrop) SFW.

Papa Emeritus Nihil

Series

Coming soon...

One shots

Breeding (Kinktober 2023) DF (21+)

Writing on the Body (Kinktober 2024)

Sister Imperator

Series

Coming soon...

One shots

Coming soon...

2023 2024

[chelleztjs18]

Ten Days (W.M) Pt. 5

Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader (Modern AU)

Summary: Y/n and Wanda is stuck in an arranged marriage. What will happen when both of them have their own deals to be done in ten days?

Warning: 18+ SMUT, swearing words, fluff, angsts (specific warning for each parts)

A/n: Well, hey there! I'm back with this series after a while. This chapter is a Valentine's gift for my sweet, Curious George anon. This is a miniseries fic that's inspired by "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days" romcom. If you haven't read this series before, I recommend to read from part 1. (Series masterlist below) Happy reading!

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

The rain is pouring. Thunders and lighting sometimes take turns to show their existence. You went straight to Wanda’s house after you spent some time with Yelena and Nat at your place to talk about the plans you have in mind.

Wanda’s heart skips a beat and her face instantly patches a smile as soon as she hears her doorbells. She rushes her steps to the door. Wanda has been waiting for you to come and she greets you with an excited smile.

“Finally! My pretty future wife—” but her smile turns to a little frown and her flirtatious words stop abruptly after she sees you soaking wet and your shoes are covered with mud.

“Hi babe!” Without giving her a chance to avoid it, you hug Wanda quickly and her clothes get a little wet from your drenched clothes. “Oh, hi wife. Why are you soaking wet and covered in mud?” she asked.

“Babe, I'm cold. Can I come in?”

“Uh y-yeah but your–your sh–.” Wanda hesitantly responds but you interrupt her by just walking into her house, leaving traces of mud and trails of dripping water all over the clean white floor.

“My what?” you play dumb. You know Wanda is internally freaking out about the mud and the water, so you walk around more. You try to look confused as you take off your jacket.

“Y-your muddy shoes. You know what darling, it’s okay. I will ask the maid to clean it.” Wanda put on a smile while trying to keep herself together to not tell you to stop walking around spreading more abstract muddy patterns. 

“Oh okay, uh where should I put this wet jacket babe? Can I just put it on the couch? I forget where the bathroom is.” You walk around in a random path before you walk closer to the white fancy expensive couch in the living room.

“Gaah, NO..No..No..No..” Wanda’s loud spontaneous NO stops your move. Good thing that Wanda is behind you and can’t see your face, you almost laugh.

Wanda chuckles awkwardly, putting a forced smile and quickly grabbing yet gently the wet jacket off your hand. She realized her reaction was a bit much but she couldn't help it. Wanda loves everything clean and spotless.

“Y/n sweetheart, uh let me take this from you and how about you take off those pretty shoes now so i can put it outside, okay?” Wanda crouches and helps you take them off. You smile, thinking how sweet she is and you feel bad but the plan must go on.

“What? You will put my shoes outside? They're expensive shoes. What if it ruins it or someone takes it?” You whine as needy as you can to annoy her.

“I know, darling. I can see that. I’ll get you a new one, okay?” she responds as she stands up, holding your dirty shoes.

“Really? You gonna get me a new one? They have some new arrivals, you're gonna get them for me too?” you try to act like materialistic girls to make her lose interest in you.

“Yes, princess.” She answers with a smile. “I would rather pay for new expensive shoes than getting my floor all dirty.” Wanda mumbles, under her breath as she turns around.

“What did you say, Wands?”

“Oh nothing. I said anything for my future wife. Just-just please stay there, y/n.” Wanda patches another awkward smile, hoping you didn’t hear what she said earlier. “Okay..okay..” You agreed in more whiny tones.

“So what happened to you on the way here?” Wanda asks as she does what she needs to do to your jacket and shoes.

“I got a flat tire, so I gotta change it.” you explained. Little does Wanda know, nothing happened. You intentionally stopped at random dirt roads nearby just enough so the rain got you wet and got you as dirty as you can.

Wanda comes back to you, stands so close and it gives you giddy feelings. “Aw, you could’ve called me, love. I would’ve helped you. Next time, if you need anything, just call me, okay?” She pushes aside your hair gently to see your face that she genuinely adores. Then her hand cups your cheek, followed by soft rubs from her thumb on it. Her smile shows automatically whenever she sees you.

Gosh, her green eyes. There is something about them that draws you. You don’t know what it is but oh well, you think it’s probably nothing. Maybe it’s just the color. You clear your throat to prevent yourself from getting lost in those charming eyes.

“Uh, Wands? I’m cold.”

Wanda quickly gets back from the trance. Both of you look a little awkward.

 “Huh? Oh yeah, yeah. I apologized, my dear. You need to shower and change clothes. The guest bathroom–”

“No, your bathroom. I don’t want to use the guest bathroom, am i still just a guest for you babe? So much for being your future wife.” you roll your eyes, showing her your pretend unamused expression.

“Uh right, right. Well, okay then. You can go to my room and use my bathroom and wear my clothes after that.”

“Sounds good. I just want cozy clothes since we are relaxing.” you demand one more time.

“Coming right up.” Wanda smiles as soon as she sees your smile.

_____

You turned on the shower to trick Wanda that you are taking a shower while you move on to the next plan.

You took out some fake pieces of hair and spread it in the bathroom floor, bathroom sink and even in the shower to leave some fake trails of your hair falls.

Thanks to Yelena’s interest in pranking others, she lets you borrow her things. You wonder what other things you can use for the plan. You take them out from your purse quietly and you read what’s written on it. Fart Cushion and Fart Spray, you shake your head a little, trying to figure out when and how these two things will work.

Then you hear Wanda is saying something from the other side of the door. “Y/n, I got the towel and clothes for you. Do you want me to put the towel in the bathroom and leave the clothes in my bed, darling? Then I’ll wait for you downstairs.”

An idea pops up in your mind right away and you want to laugh as soon as you figure out that now is the perfect time to use these two things.

“Can you wait for me until I’m done please babe? I don’t want you to be far away from me, I miss you. I’ll tell you when I’m done. You don’t miss me?” you try to sound needy and irrationally clingy.

“Wait, what? Of course I miss you. Can’t I just wait downstairs?” Wanda responds. She likes knowing you slowly got hooked into her plan deeper. Wanda never likes clingy girls but she knows better to shrug it off for the sake of her plan.

“No, I want you to be near me. Just wait there.” you pretend to be more demanding.

Wanda takes a little deep breath and agrees. “O–okay, I’ll be here.” as she sits on her bed.

While Wanda is waiting patiently in the room with some clothes and a towel for you, all of a sudden she hears something unexpectedly. Unbeknownst to her, you squeeze the cushion. Wanda was shocked with the loud sound, thinking it was from you passing some gas in the bathroom. Her eyes round up. “Oops, excuse me babe!” you said as you tried not to laugh.

“It’s okay. I didn’t hear anything, love.” Wanda tries to let her mind about it pass over her head and another same loud noise breaks out of the bathroom. “Oh my gosh.” she mumbles to herself in surprise.

“Ooops, I’m sorry.” Once again you express your fake apology. You didn’t hear anything from Wanda.

“Wands, are you still there?”

Hearing your voice looking for her, Wanda quickly gets off her bed and gets to the door. “Uh yes, I’m still here. Do you need anything?” she asks from behind the door.

You squeeze some sprays out of the bottle and to your surprise, it really stinks. It’s worse than a flatulence usually smells.“Yeah, I’m almost done. Gonna need the towel soon.” you answer as you try to hold a gag while covering your nose from the smell. You quietly dry heave in between walking back to the shower, pretending to continue your shower.

“Oh okay. I have your towel here.” Wanda signals you.

“You can come in. It’s unlocked.” You informed.

“Are you sure?” Wanda hesitantly asks.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

You heard Wanda open the door and walk in. Wanda caught off guard by a blow of soft air mixed with the smell from the spray. She vaguely scrunches her nose as the stinky aroma intrudes her senses. Her eyes rounded once more but she tried not to react to it. 

“Pffftt.. What did you eat?” Wanda mumbles. You pretend you didn’t hear it clearly. “Did you say something babe?”

“Oh? Nothing. Here you go, love. I’ll just hang it here.” Wanda is having a hard time talking while holding her breath at the same time.

You notice her being respectful and trying not to look at you but you want her to walk to you so she will notice more the smells in the bathroom. “Babe, can you bring it here please?”

“Oh okay.” She agrees half heartedly, all she wants right now is to walk out of that trapped air that bothers her nose.

She hands you the towel and her eyes give up the effort to not look at you. She sees the silhouette of your body through the opaque glass shower door. Her brain seems to forget the smells around her for a few seconds until she hears your voice and feels your hand gently tucks the towel that she still holds in her hand.

“Oh. Uh, I’m sorry. Here you go.” You smile at her when she finally lets go of the towel. Unfortunately, the nose smells the smell again and Wanda clears her throat but being the caring person she is, she asks you.

“Are you okay, love? Is your tummy upset?” as much as Wanda cares about you but she instantly regrets her question.

“No, I’m okay. What? Wait, are you saying that my gas smells?! That’s just how it usually smells.” you pretend to freak out as you walk out of the shower wrapped in a towel.

“Uh oh. No, no. I didn’t say that. Uh–the reason I asked is because I care. That’s all.” Wanda starts to panic.

You start your pretend cry and whine, you cover your face. “It’s embarrassing. If you can’t handle it, how are you gonna be married to me?”

Wanda quickly feels bad but at the same time she doesn’t want you to walk away and lose the bet either. “Aw sweetheart, that’s not true. Don’t worry.” She hugs you even though it’s getting harder for her not to take a deep breath so she won’t inhale any more uncomfortable scents.

You feel the softness of Wanda’s hands rub the skin of your back and you actually love it. What is it with Wanda’s hug? Why do you feel so comfortable in it? What’s wrong with you right now? Oh geez, as much as you want to stay longer in her embrace, unfortunately you have to get away from it before it’s getting harder to be out of her arms. You nod.

“Okay, good girl. Now, why don’t you put on some clothes so we can have our date today, yeah?” Wanda kisses the top of your head. Oh goodness gracious, her tone and the way she calls you a good girl sends something to your brain and body that you can’t explain. You never feel something like it but you try to shrug it off and think maybe it was just because the first time a woman ever called you that. It’s nothing biggie.

You pull yourself away a little from her hugs. “Okay, Wands. I’ll see you downstairs.” You smiled. As soon as Wanda walks out of the bathroom and closes the door, she quickly inhales fresh air as if her life depends on it. She exhales a relief, shakes her head after what just happened.

_____

You can see Wanda is sitting on the couch in the living room as you walk towards her. The fireplace is on, some pretty fancy snacks with a bottle of red wine complete with two glasses are waiting for you as well. Soft lights around and the soothing rain drops outside offer a very comfy vibes. As always Wanda can’t help herself to smile when she sees you, everytime she sees you she feels a very comfortable feeling that she never feels from other girls she has been with but of course Wanda tries not to acknowledge that feeling. Wanda thought maybe the smile she has when she sees you was all because she knows she would win this bet.

“Well hello there, princess. Look how cute you are with my shirt and shorts. Come here, everything’s ready for you. You just need to pick which movie or sitcom we should watch.” she gently pats the empty spots next to her.

You are really impressed with everything that Wanda has prepared. It’s everything that you like. You always would rather have this kind of date than going anywhere fancy. You sit next to her and pick something to watch.

“Wow, this is nice, babe. So fancy but you pulled this off so easily.” you commented.

“Well, anything for the special woman.” Wanda starts her flirtatious strategy. She looks into your eyes and oh that smile again, it makes you almost forget to get the plan going.

“Special huh? Well, I don’t think I feel special enough yet. I’m sure you could plan something more especially if you make your future wife get out of her busy work schedule today to be with you.” you smirk as you tell her your needy demand in a teasing way, totally opposite than what you actually think. You actually love it but right now all you can do is hoping Wanda would think that you are ungrateful and unappreciative.

Wanda doesn’t like demanding women. Independent women always catch her attention, unfortunately she hasn’t met one. Wanda tries to ignore how demanding you are right now, all to win the bet.

“Oh? You are special. I know you would like this. Are you playing hard to get, sweetheart? Hmm?” Wanda’s face gets closer and closer to you. Your heart gradually starts to race. You try to keep your focus with you while trying to get back to this banter.

“Playing hard to get? I’m not. I think you just can’t handle me. I set my bar high and you should be able to reach it if you want to marry me.” You tease her back and you didn’t realize your face gets closer to hers too.

“There you go, my sweet straightforward lady. So you are on board with our arranged marriage then? That's good news.” Wanda gives you a come back with your own remark that you have said to her a few days ago.

“Like I said, maybe yes, maybe no.” you answered and your gaze was glued to her. This time Wanda only chuckles followed with a confident smile, thinking that she still has her fingers wrapped around you and her plan slowly working better.

Before you two know it, your face and Wanda’s are merely an inch. You look at her lips, so does Wanda at yours. You quickly bring yourself together and pull back a little. You clear your throat. “Uh- Why don’t we try this red wine you got here?”

“Oh yeah, yeah. Sorry, we wouldn’t want this great wine waiting.” Wanda awkwardly agrees and  pours some in both glasses. A little thought pops in her mind thinking about another almost kiss moment that breaks her own “no kiss” rule but of course she convinces herself it was part of the plan.

WIth that, the date starts. Sometimes both of you talk about random things or anything about each other. You try to be as messy as you can by dropping some crumbs or food. You try to swing your hand that holds the glass of wine while you are talking with her to drive Wanda crazy from the thought of you spilling it on the couch or the rug. It’s quite comical for you to see how she tries to subtly to avoid that to happen and not to offend you at the same time from doing so. Another meltdown from you is the last thing Wanda wants on tonight's date. She wants to leave much much better impressions on you. Part of you think she looks cute and adorable.

You can’t lie to yourself, you are actually having a great time with Wanda. Maybe Wanda isn’t that bad? Oh no, no, no. You and Wanda are buzzed after sharing a bottle of wine and opening another one. That’s all. She is not your type, well a little but no. You have to be all cringey, annoying and unbearable to her. 

You subtly try to look around, figuring out what you can do. Suddenly, an improvised wild idea came up in your mind. Part of you is hesitant to do it but after a rapid debate internally, your mind says fuck it. 

You gotta do what you gotta do. This is all part of the plan, that’s what you tell yourself.

Wanda was very surprised with your sudden move. You instantaneously move on to her and straddle her lap then kiss her. The Sokovian brunette was caught off guard, kissing you back yet thoughts bouncing around her head. What’s going on here? Both of you let out a soft hum, feeling your bodies melt perfectly to each other. She lays her hands gently on your back and mindlessly pulls you to lean closer to her.

In between kisses, Wanda tries to tell you her thoughts with a soft whisper. “Y/n..sweetheart.” your lips catch hers again as you respond “Hm?”

Again, Wanda tries to break the kiss and speaks. “Are you sure about this? I think you are drunk.” Well, her ego would really love this, thinking that she is really much much closer to her victory on her bet with Kate. As much as she loves the feelings of your lips on her, she respects you.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Are you okay with it?.” You answered as you back out a little, deep down a little panic if you took this plan too far. Wanda looks at you and smiles. “Why wouldn’t I be okay, gorgeous?” She asks lovingly and just like that you turn to the only exception from her no kiss rule. Her hands gently cup your face. My oh my, you are lost in her ethereal eyes. Not to mention her touch. Wait, wait. Are you and Wanda having a moment here? Or perhaps we can say another moment that really you can’t explain. That was not butterflies in your stomach right now. The warmth in your heart (no, scratch that), you meant the warmth in your chest is really just because of the wine. Yes, yes, it is the wine. Not because of the kiss nor Wanda. Hell, it’s not because of the moment right now.

Wanda pulls you back into kiss, in her defense, it’s to pull you deeper in her plan. Not because she wants to or likes it.

Shortly after you remind yourself to move forward to your plan, you kiss her neck and reach to unbutton her pajamas. One by one. Wanda always loves to be in control, including in this kind of situation. You know that. Even if it has been only a few days of knowing her, you can read that. That’s why you are doing what you are doing, showing that you will be the type of wife who wears the pants in the relationship.

You are sure a needy, controlling, demanding, and clingy plus “crazy” woman is the whole package that definitely scares Wanda away in no time.

You smirk and look at her in her sports bra. Here goes nothing, your mind said.

You kiss her collar bones and as soon as your kisses reach her breasts, you do something that launches Wanda into a bigger surprise, not in a good way.

“Aaaawwwwww, look at them. Pretty twins.” You start to baby talk as your hands cup both of her breasts.

Wanda’s closed eyes open abruptly. “Wait, what?” She looks down at you very confused.

“Yeah pretty twins. I shall name you Roni!” you exclaim in more baby talk then kiss her left breast. Before Wanda can ask even further, you move on to the right breast and do the same thing as you say “And I shall name you Ami.” you give more ridiculously loud kisses.

“R-roni?? Ami?? Hold on, hold on. Y/n, my dear. Did you just– Did you just name my breasts??” Wanda looks so baffled. Trying to figure out what really is going on.

“Mmhmm. Why? You don’t like it?” You answered in a fake innocent face and pout.

“No, no. Uh I–I do. It’s cute, really, but uh, don’t you think it’s a bit a mood killer?” Wanda carefully crafts her words and then smiles awkwardly.

“Mood killer?? What do you mean? That’s rude, I was being romantic and sexy with you in our sexy time.” you retort while actually you really want to laugh. You are having fun seeing Wanda’s reaction.

“I know. I know, but naming my breast and baby talk to them? Where in the world did you get the name ideas anyway??” You can see from her face that what you just did really cringes her.

“It’s from my favorite luncheon meat, Roni is short for pepperoni and Ami is short for Salami.” You are really proud of yourself for coming up with this idea and can’t wait to tell Natasha and Yelena about it.

“Oh God. Pep–pepperoni? Salami? But you are vegan, Y/n?!Few days ago you cried because of the meat I cooked for dinner and now you name my breasts with meat names?” Wanda rambles, frustration starts to show bit by bit.

“Then you would prefer Melonie and Coco? You know, because of the perfect round shape and size.” You nonchalantly offer her different name ideas and explain them with a little shrug. Right now you are trying to look innocent. A stark difference from how you were earlier as if you have different personalities.

Of course, it lures out more of Wanda’s reaction. “What? MELON and COCONUT?? Mine are not ridiculously big like them.” Wanda argues. Shade of red blush covers her cheeks as she crosses both of her palms to cover her breasts in such embarrassment and disagreement.

“Aaaaww. Okay okay. What about Squashy and Squishy, then? Squashy, because squash is my favorite vegetable and Squishy because yours are squishy.” you are back to baby talk and your hands playfully cups Wanda’s breasts.

Wanda looks at you in disbelief at what you just said and she lays her head back on the couch as her right fingers massage the bridge of her nose. “Aaaand it died. It just died.” Said Wanda referring to her mood on the “sexy time” with you 

“What? What died, babe?” You play dumb with your question. You know what she meant.

“Uh, nothing. Y/n, how about we call it a night, yeah? I’m tired, I got pretty buzzed earlier. I have things to do at the office tomorrow too.” Luckily, your plan works and you are glad that you can finally go home.

“Really? That’s all the date you said you prepared so special for me? Okay. I guess, I’m gonna go home then.” You pretend to look upset and disappointed.

“Oh no, no. You are not driving home now, sweetheart. It’s late now. You are drunk, it’s still pouring rain outside and you got a car problem earlier. So stay the night here please. I’ll ask the maid to get the guest room ready for you.” Wanda leaves you no room to refuse but you have to get out of here. Once again, you have to think quickly how to refuse her.

“Guest room? Really? Me, your future wife, sleeps in the guest room. That’s upsetting. I’m just gonna go home.” You pretend to cry for no reason and you quickly get off her lap so you can get ready to leave.

Her gaze follows where you walk to the door. “Where else are you supposed to sl—?” she halts her words when she realizes why you are leaving so upset. Wanda can’t let you leave upset from the date, it’s too risky for her.

She gets up quickly and tries to stop you. “Okay, okay. You can sleep in my room, on my bed..with me. Yeah? Sounds good? Yes yes, sounds much better than driving drunk in the rain. I won’t let anything happen to my woman.” Wanda agrees and gives full effort to make you stay.

You have no other excuse to leave so like it or not, you stay. You are just surprised with how determined Wanda is. On second thought, you think that she is right. It might be safer to stay the night.

_____

“Oookay, the bed is ready for you, love. You’ll sleep on the left side and I’ll sleep on the right side. Here’s your pillow and I have another blanket here if you need it. I’m going to brush my teeth right now and get ready for bed.” Wanda tells you as she just got done preparing the bed for you. 

You wanted to be needier and make the sleeping side of the bed a big deal but you are thinking you don’t want to look that bad in front of Wanda. Wait, what’s wrong with you? That’s the goal of this whole plan. Why would you even think that way? Okay, maybe you just want to be annoying in a more logical way. Yeah that’s probably it. 

You lay on your side, on the bed. Letting your back facing Wanda. Trying not to sleep too close with her when she comes back.

While you are trying to get comfy in bed, you hear Wanda from the bathroom.

Wanda is freaking out about what she discovers as soon as she gets to the bathroom. For a clean freak like her, it looks like a horror for her. Your wet dirty clothes are on the floor, your “hair” is on the floor, on the bathroom sink and even stick on the shower glass door.

Your plan definitely works because you heard her muffled voice in the bathroom freaking out saying “Oh no..no..no.. Oh Lord. Why is it so messy? Who lives like this? Calm down, Wanda. It’s nothing big.”

You laugh silently but as soon as you hear her walk out of the bathroom, you pretend to sleep. You heard her taking a deep breath to calm herself down.

Wanda finally lays down on the bed. “Good night, Y/n.” she gently says it but no answer from you so she assumes that you are asleep. You hear her whisper to herself. “What a night.”

You can’t really sleep but you pretend every now and then to snore loudly and make weird noises while you are “sleeping”. You toss and turn as well just so it will seem like it’s hell to sleep with you.

It was hard for Wanda to fall asleep because of what you are doing. She couldn’t believe how loud you snored but eventually both of you finally fell asleep.

Pt. 6

A/n: Welp, thats it for today! Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated. Follow me for more and see you in next!

Cheerio!

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[delulu-archives]

Love Me Lights Out (Jeon Wonwoo x Reader)

Wonwoo shook the planet with his iconic MAMA 2019 entrance — blue hair, red robe, dark evil gaze, and soul-crushing voice. He held a different type of power that day, holding you like putty in his hands in total surrender.

His possessive side was on full display when a certain someone got a little too close to you during the intimate and private after-party.

This can be read as stand-alone fic but this happened within Love in Vinyl universe/timeline. I highly recommend you give that a read. 💜

Note: Wonwoo x producer!reader, smut, explicit smut, dom/sub themes, AU, established relationship, penetration, oral (m and f receiving), fingering, overstimulation, multiple big Os, unprotected sex, fluff, unedited, 18+ Series: Love in Vinyl Inspired by John Mayer's rendition of XO.

Ready for it? 'Cause I am. Dear reader, here is the next part of our Love in Vinyl series. Thank you for giving your love to LIV, darlings. Who wouldn't love to see Wonwoo's possessive side? Shameless, explicit smut, everyone. Some dom/sub themes, reader was weak and whipped for Wonwoo's gentle dominance. Plus some tooth-rotting fluff bonus ending. 😌💜 Yuletide and In the Soop 2 shots coming soon, darlings.

I pour my blood, sweat, tears, and delulu dusts to write this. Please help me protect my work while reaching more delulu darlings who may find escape here, too. 💜 Word count: 7,360 Cross-Posted on AO3

Your love is bright as ever Even in the shadows Baby, kiss me Before they turn the lights out Your heart is glowing And I'm crashing into you Baby, kiss me kiss me Before they turn the lights out Before they turn the lights out Baby, love me lights out In the darkest night I'll search through the crowd, Your face is all that I see I'll give you everything Baby, love me lights out Baby, love me lights out We don't have forever Baby, daylight's wasting You better kiss me Before our time has run out Nobody sees what we see They're just hopelessly gazing Baby, take me take me Before they turn the lights out Before time has run out Baby, love me lights out I love you like XO You love me like XO You kill me, girl, XO You love me like XO In the darkest night I'll search through the crowd, Your face is all that I see I'll give you everything Baby, love me lights out You can turn my lights out

Manic. That's always your answer whenever junior producers ask you what awards shows are like based from your experience.

That year, you expected it to be different in various ways. 2019 was the year when K-Pop continued growing its footprint and reaching global scale, one group at a time. The year changed the trajectory of how k-pop was perceived and received especially with western audiences, and you saw it first hand.

Over the past six years, you had always been present behind the scene with BTS as they painstakingly conquered these awards shows, culminating their effort and hardwork during such tedious times. You shared tears and joys with them, especially during MAMA 2018 when they gave such powerful reminder on how tough the industry could be. Hoshi and Seungkwan even shared with you that they were fighting back tears especially when J-Hope started crying during the speech. You knew how much Seventeen could relate to BTS and you also saw how BTS also supported Seventeen during their starting years, given that their roots were alike - both groups were self-made, both were their respective company's saving grace. 

BTS used to practice in dank, murky practice room that was often flooded, while Seventeen used to tape regular earphones so they could have make-shift in-ear monitors during their first performances. Both groups conquered those adversaries, started from rock bottom and climbed their way to the top with Blood, Sweat, and Tears. You could not be more proud to see those groups you love shine in one stage once more. 

-

December was for awards shows and both sides of your coin were busy with their respective performances, with BTS ending their last leg of Love Yourself tour and Seventeen ending the first leg of their Ode to You tour. 

You were just supposed to just be in the audience that day, hoping to just enjoy and watch the show without working. You were excited to watch their performances after seeing glimpse of it during rehearsals and you really needed your break already. 

You requested the month off few months before, knowing just how restless the year was for you as part of the creatives team of these groups. While your job was mainly around their variety contents and documentaries, supporting touring groups also meant you were flying across the globe when needed, too. Apart from that, it was already apparent that the acquisition would be made formal and official the following year - it was long time coming. You already assumed backlash would happen and as someone who already faced such with BTS alone, the artists' welfare was always your top priority. Business decisions would be made, but you were determined to ensure that Seventeen would feel even more at home with your plans for the following year. You knew that the creatives and think-tank would be required to work twice as hard to ensure that contents and shows would be even grander both for the artists and the fans. 

Your supposed break during MAMA 2019, however, did not come into fruition. You received a call from one of BTS' senior producers a week prior and pleaded you to cover for him during the show to film and produce the behind the scene of the show for BTS. The producer had to take time off as his wife had to give birth prematurely and you did not have the heart to deny the request. So, you brought your work stuff along with you and flew to Nagoya two days prior the show without telling your boyfriend that he might just see you spinning in the backstage.

Your call time for the show was at 7:00 AM. With various performances, it was pivotal to have everyone around and ready before the rehearsals and pre-show shoots commence. 

You arrived just in the nick of time, already huddled with your assigned camera directors and assistant producer to discuss how things should run. You spent the whole night reviewing the production guide sent to you and polishing it with the timelines of that day's show so there would be smoother coverage and to avoid causing too much distraction during the busy day. 

BTS arrived an hour later so they can prepare under their make-up chairs while the show floor directors were instructing everyone. You remained quietly hiding on the side, typing away and monitoring the footages being taken by one of your cameramen. Once the show's PD left, finally revealed youself earning a booming scream from Hoseok who was shocked to see you there. The team held you one by one, saying they missed you as the last time they saw you last was early October. 

"Happy birthday, WWH!" You greeted when Jin entered the dressing room after washing up. 

"Woaaah!! What are you doing here? Are you here to film? Waaah, you can't make me do silly things today it's my birthday." The man exclaimed, followed by his windshield wiper laugh and gave you a quick hug. 

Your presence was always familiar so being there was business as usual, seven years and counting. 

-

Wonwoo messaged you a little later saying that they were already on the way to the venue and that he was excited to see you in the audience. You spent the whole night talking on the phone with him thinking your flight was in the morning of that day. Little did he know, you were already in the venue working your ass off.

Nothing can ever match how loud Seventeen is. When they arrived, everyone knew it was them, hollering in the background as they greeted everyone with such bright, contagious energy and entered their dressing room across BTS'. 

You excused yourself from your team so you can greet your other family, silently walking towards their dressing room, index finger on your lips to shush the others who saw you to stay quiet as you approached your blue-haired man leaning against the door frame. He was busy typing on his phone, eyes still heavy as he rubbed them while yawning. Your phone vibrated and a messaged flashed on the screen.

"We're here, baby. See you later."

You held back a chuckle. Finally standing behind him, you answered his message by muttering a cheerful, "I know."

Wonwoo turned in a flash, eyes widening and hand covering his mouth when he saw you standing there. "Woah!" 

"Good morning, babe." Wide smile painted your face at his reaction.

"H-how?" He inquired, heart fluttering at your presence as he held your hand and pulled you inside the dressing room, waving at the other members who were also surprised you were there.

"Had to cover for a PD due to an emergency."

"I thought you would be in the audience!" He spoke softly, shoulders drooping slightly when he finally engulfed you in a tight hug after a week of not seeing each other.

You just chuckled when he asked you a week prior why you did not book the same hotel as them, and you just made up some silly excuse saying it was for the whole 'audience' experience. They were in the same hotel with BTS and some other artists, and you were just in the hotel a block away, essentially cooped up in your room to avoid running into anyone of them before your surprise. 

"I missed you. I am happy you're here."

"I missed you too."

You returned his hug and stole a quick peck on his lips while everyone was busy. "I'll still be in the audience once you're on stage." You winked at him and his heartthrob smile widened as he let you go. 

"I'll look for you in the crowd, baby. I'll have my eyes on you alone."

He smirked.

Dangerously.

-

Seventeen was part of the last artists to perform, with only two performances between them and BTS. It gave you ample time to get a camera so you can go where the camera directors in front of the main stage were and watch Seventeen's performance, as promised.

Shivers ran down your spine at the chilling entrance, even when they hadn't even started the performance yet. You saw them rehearse couple of times, but somehow, everything felt new. The crowd went wild with ear splitting screams when the music finally started. 

It was a dark opening, hooded figures in red with one person on the spotlight - Wonwoo. Despite his robe, you could see his broad shoulders and notice the way he ascended the stairs with such a different vibe and aura especially when he pulled down the hood, revealing himself.

You saw that in rehearsals, but somehow you were taken into another world. His eyes were cold as ice, staring sharply into the audience as he bit and crushed the candied rose. He held an intense gaze as he devoured the intro with his deep, raspy voice, officially opening their ensemble. 

Wonwoo captured your attention throughout the whole performance effortlessly, even meeting his eyes from time to time as he smirked at you. You were helplessly drawn to his magnetic aura and familiar warmth and sensation filled your body. He was scrochingly and devilishly handsome as they broke the stage.

When their performance ended, Wonwoo saw you backstage gave you yet another salacious smirk as he retreated to the dressing room.

Such power he held over you.

Two bottles of ice-cold water did nothing to quench your unexplainable thirst.

-

To say that you were on an emotional high during the show was an understatement. You were ecstatic over the wins of BTS and Seventeen, quite teary even, because you had seen just how massive their successes were which were all very much deserved after their years and years of hardwork. Then, you were blown away by their performances, and of course, your boyfriend's stage presence.

After the award show, Jungkook and Mingyu hosted and organised an intimate and private party, and BTS, SVT, and only very few other groups and colleagues were there. 

After freshening up in your hotel, you arrived at the luxurious and private roof deck bar where the party was, donning a simple black dress and a pair of comfortable heels. It was rare for them to see you all glammed up, given that as a PD, you were constantly in sneakers and comfortable clothing so running around was easier. Wonwoo could not wipe the smile off his face upon seeing you all dressed up for the party, as if mesmerized by you.

BTS, Seventeen, and some of their friends mingled and drank merrily. Jungkook and Mingyu were goofing around like bunch of kids. Yoongi and Woozi were talking about music looking like twins. Joshua, Jeonghan, and Seungcheol were with Taehyung and Jimin catching up while the others were chilling or catching up with the staff members. It was a joy to see them like that, even Wonwoo was laughing around and comfortable with them.

You noticed however that birthday boy was quiet in the corner of the banquet. Being an introvert, Jin had always found social gatherings quite daunting, just like your boyfriend. 

While Wonwoo was busy with his members, you joined Jin by the corner of the banquet hall, drinking your second glass of margarita that day. 

"Why are you not socializing? It's supposed to be your birthday." 

Jin just shook his head and laughed, saying it was not his forte. And you understood that. You spent some time catching up with him until Jimin approached you, pulling the two of you to the floor to dance. 

"I am so tired, Jimin.." you complained but the man just smirked, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

"Just one song!" He insisted, twirling you around. 

Jimin always had that flirtatious flair with everything he does. It was not as though he was flirting with you blatantly, but he always liked making you blush for sure. 

"I heard you have a boyfriend, Y/N." His full lips curled up into a smirk as if pleased to have caught you off guard.

"Why? Were you surprised?" 

"Mhm, you could say that. You denied me once before." Jimin teased, reminding you of his attempt to woo you years back, and it made you throw your head and chuckle. 

"We were too young then."

Jimin just smirked and nodded pulling you closer as you danced with your other friends before you finally freed your self about a minute or two later.

From a distance, though, Wonwoo was intently observing at how Jimin was looking at you, and he did not like it at all. His gaze was poisonous, lethal, even.

-

You joined the group where your boyfriend was and he immediately looped his arm around your waist and drew you against his side as if showcasing that you were his. 

"Hi love," he mumbled, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead which took you aback. He never was that comfortable doing that in front of others before, but you could not deny that the bold gesture made your heart flutter.

"Hey. You drank a lot already." 

"No, not yet." He smirked down at you, his attention solely on you as he rubbed your back gently. "You having fun? Or are you tired and want to go home?"

One of the many things you love about Wonwoo is that he is always sensible. He has always been sensitive about how you are feeling because he pays attention to you and somehow naturally senses how you feel. 

You smiled up at him and pressed your body closer to him.

"Maybe we can leave earlier? You had a long day." He added, tucking a strand of your loose hair behind your ear and caressing your face. Such unusual gesture from him, especially in front of your friends and other people though they were busy. At one point however, Wonwoo shifted his gaze and you were in the right mind to follow its direction. That was when you finally realized it - Wonwoo was looking at Jimin who was watching the two of you, and he was asserting his edge on the situation. Your boyfriend's innate possessive side got triggered with how flirty Jimin was with you earlier, one thing you should've considered sooner.

"I'd love that." You answered, wrapping your arm around his back as well, as if a silent reminder to ease the building storm inside him.

Few moments later, you had to excuse yourself so you can go to the empty ladies room, only for Wonwoo to tail behind you quietly.

Wonwoo stood up from the leaned position he was in against the wall as he waited and walked up to you when you left that bathroom. He placed his hands on your shoulders slightly and pushed you playfully back inside, guiding you into a cubicle, locking the door behind you as he snaked his hands over the fabric of your dress, placing his forehead lightly against yours.

"Hey! We might get caught!" You shushed, looking him with wide eyes as your knees wobbled from his gentle teasing.

"Don't pretend like you don't know I've wanted to get you alone since this morning." He whispered softly as he placed a trail of kisses over your skin, from your cheeks and down your neck before capturing your lips in a searing kiss. "And it seems like it's not just me who wants you." His voice muffled against his demanding kiss which made you melt against his arms which were looped around you possessively.

"What are you talking about?" 

"Come on, babe. You know what I am talking about." He growled under his breath, chasing your lips for more when you started pulling away slightly, pressing your hands against his chest.

"Baby. Babe... listen."

He just gave you a cheeky smirk, chuckling at the worried look on your face as you wiped your smeared lipstick off his lips.

"Hm?"

"Wonwoo."

He arched his brow, "What?" 

"It's too risky here!" You basically pleaded, arms wrapping around his shoulders, caressing the back of his neck. Nodding and surrending, he pecked your lips hard one last time before pulling away.

Wonwoo understood. Despite being open about your relationship among your friends and colleagues, your number one goal was to avoid any rumour or scandal especially that you were not within your private space where you can do anything you want.

"I'll go first. You need to fix your lipstick." He teased, opening the door of the cubicle for you.

"Yeah, thanks for that."

You rolled you eyes and watched him check the corridor to ensure the coast was clear before leaving you in the ladies room and returning to the banquet.

Releasing the pent-up breath you had been holding, you fanned yourself and looked at your flushed face and messed-up makeup from the mirror.

You were unsure what your boyfriend consumed that day that made him ever brazen. 

Maybe it was the rose. 

After trying your best to retouch post the encounter in the bathroom, you joined the group, sitting beside your boyfriend who was already yawning. One by one the people were already dispersing so Wonwoo took that opportunity to say goodbye, and you also did. You greeted and hugged everyone, including Jimin, who held you a little tighter as if trying to provoke Wonwoo even more with his playful antics. You knew it was nothing but you pulled away and shook your head at him. 

"Let's go, Y/N." Wonwoo held out his hand and twined it with yours, and, despite the stern expression of his face, gave Jimin a courteous nod.

One of their managers and a security personnel were assigned to drive you back to the hotel where they were staying, and you were really impressed by the level of security and privacy hotels like that offered. 

"We need to book another room, I share with Mingyu." Wonwoo spoke when you settled inside the car. 

You smirked at him, waved your spare keycard, and gave it to him. "Done."

You somehow expected this even before the show, so you also paid for a room reservation online a day before your arrival, and checked in a few things there before going to your other hotel. You checked out of the hotel you stayed in and transferred some of your belongings to your room in their hotel before heading to the party that night. 

Smirking in delight, he took the keycard and leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear, "That's my good girl."

-

You entered the hotel separately with him guided to his room by his manager and you going straight into yours. You gave him the spare keycard anyway in case he decides to visit you, which you were looking forward to, if you were being completely honest. 

When you entered your room, you quickly went to the bathroom to run the hot water for a much needed shower after that long day of work. 

You turned the shower on and adjusted the setting, running your hands under the cascading water to check the temperature. Almost immediately, your whole body ached to feel the soothing warm water and you even hummed in excitement. 

Turning to undress, you jumped upon seeing your boyfriend by the door of the bathroom, eyes dark and wanting as he watched you. 

"What the hell, Wonwoo! You'd give me a heart attack!" You exclaimed, clutching your chest while he only grinned at you. 

Mischief and danger hid behind that smile he gave as he locked the bathroom door and stood behind you, meeting your gaze in the slightly fogged up mirror. 

"Let me help you with that," He mumbled under his breath as lips hovered against your skin when he took the clasp of the necklace you were removing form your hand. 

All the while, he was staring intently at you, his usual warm almond eyes were sharp and a lopsided smirk tugged against the corner of his lips. He was teasing you, playing with fire and fuelling yours. 

He reached behind you and placed the necklace on the countertop, bracing himself against the cold marble and caging you in between his arms. 

Then, he crashed his lips against yours, roughly, like he never did before.

Your knees were weak and as if under a spell, you were in complete surrender, wrapping your arms around him when he tilted your head by your chin and plundered your mouth with his tongue, deepening the kiss and making you want more. 

Whimpers left your lips when he sucked your lower lip then pulled away with a loud smacking sound. 

"Take your clothes off for me, baby." He ordered, stepping back and watching you. "Go on, don't make me wait.

Those words coming from such perfect face and deep voice, were hypnotizing enough, making you obey without a word. Still looking at his eyes, you fiddled the hem of your dress and peeled it off, leaving you in your matching light blue undergarments. 

"Seems like you've been waiting for me all day, too, love." He growled at the sight of you in his favourite colour, seizing you against his body before and tracing kisses down to the valleys of your breasts and then towards your lips once again. 

"Now be a good girl and undress me." He mumbled against your lips, not letting you go as you unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off his body. Then, you worked on his belt, button, and zipper, letting his pants pool into his feet which he quickly kicked away.

He shoved you inside the glass partition under the shower head with your body glued together, his lips finding purchase against your skin, making your core throb with a familiar ache. 

Wonwoo pinned you against the cold, tiled wall and snaked his hand inside your panties, feeling your wet, warm core as his middle and ring fingers circled your sensitive nub. He was eager. As if wanting to prove something with his sudden brute force.

"My needy girl... so wet and I haven't even done anything..." 

"W-wonwoo -" You stuttered, gripping against his biceps trying to steady yourself from his sudden teasing.

"Who are you this wet for, Y/N?"

You whimpered when he paused, making your knees buckle and thigh press together. 

"Baby please..." 

"So needy..." He growled, using his other hand to dip and pull a cup of your bra, and then sucked your taut, aching nipple. 

"S-shit!"

"Mmm."

You quivered, eyes closed as you tried keeping your pleasure at bay, which was impossible when his fingers started teasing your slit with gentle strokes towards your clit.

"Look at me in the eyes and tell me who this is for..." 

You met his lustful gaze and gulped, "Y-you." 

"Say it... say who makes you shiver with need." He licked his lower lip as he pressed his fingers against your pulsating clit. He was enjoying his power play, you could see the way his eyes darkened as you shivered from his relentless teasing.

"Wonwoo... you Wonwoo... Please."

"Yeah... I am the only one that can make you this wet and needy, right?"

"Yes, just you..." You nodded eagerly, closing your eyes and crying out as he went down on his knees, ripped your panties, and finally devoured your aching, dripping core as water cascaded against your bodies. 

"My good girl... don't hold back, baby, let me hear you." 

He did not need to tell you. Moans and whimpers left your lips at his expert teasing, sucking and licking your sensitive bud. His tongue lapped at your core, tracing your entrance repeatedly and then drawing figure-eights against your clit while pushing his fingers inside you, curling and searching for that erogenous zone that always made you squirm in pleasure.

His moans were muffled against your sex when your climax coursed through your body quicker than you anticipated, making you nearly lose your balance as you cried out his name.

"Fucking hell..." You slurred, catching your breath and steadying yourself from the sudden outburst of pleasure. 

Wonwoo looked pleased - he had his proud smile when he rose and kissed you, squeezing your ass and pressing your close to him. 

"We're not done yet." He said with such ease before ever so casually reaching for the shampoo bottle and started washing your bodies as you came down from your high. 

Wonwoo lathered your shower gel against your body in the most sensual, teasing way possible. His hand glided through your skin, massaged your breasts and tweaked your nipples, and caressed down to your stomach, your core, and your aching limbs. Every second was intentional seduction, keeping you on the verge with desire.

He allowed you to do the same, palming his whole body down to his hard shaft, pumping him up and down with your soapy hand which made him twitch against your touch until he could take it no longer. He rinsed your bodies with such urgency and once done, pushed your naked body towards the room and the bed. 

"Sit." He commanded. Droplets of water trickled against your skin from your still soaked hair as he stood before you and as you pat your body with a towel, then squeezed water from your hair. 

He took the towel from you and threw it away, then grabbed your hair to force your head upwards when he leaned in to ravage your mouth with ardent kisses.

Need once again simmered inside you and you reached out for him, wanting to feel him closer and relieve whatever ache he was causing. He drew away and stood in between your legs, his shaft standing long and hard in front of you. 

"See what you do to me, Y/N?" He asked, holding the back of your head as you looked up at him and nodded. Your mouth watered at the sight of his beautiful, perfect cock all erect for you. Your core throbbed, needing him so bad.

"Let me see what your pretty little mouth can do."

You normally know what to say but seeing his dominant side made you tongue-tied. While there were rough encounters since your first time, Wonwoo rarely talked in such a manner. He was always a man of few words but eager actions, even in bed. He rarely even cursed but he seemed to do whenever you were in the throes of passion. This time showed a side of him you were already becoming drawn to, evident with the way you seem to surrender under his control so easily.

Eyes peering at him, you licked his polished length from base to tip, running your tongue around the bulbous head of his sizable cock. You slowly took him deep inside your warm mouth, eliciting a loud groan from him.

"Fuck, that's my good girl..." He moaned, looking down at you and pushing your head further down his length so you can take him deeper. "More baby... let me fuck that pretty mouth of yours..."

Carnal desire awakened inside him when he saw you like that, both hands gripping the base and massaging his sacs, as he hit your throat while you bob your head up and down his needy cock. Your eyes watered as you gagged, but it only seemed to further entice him. He tightened his grip on your hair as he increased the pace, your eyes still focused on him as you heed his commands. 

"You look so good taking me like that, letting me fuck your mouth... ah such good girl." He panted for air, hips thrusting one last time before pulling away. Watching you wipe your mouth, he beckoned you to stand and kissed you before turning you around to face the bed.

"On your hands and knees for me, baby." He mumbled, lips brushing against your ear as he shoved you flat in your tummy back into the bed.

In a blink, you were on all fours in the middle of the bed, heart racing and eagerly ancipating his next move, until a loud, hard spank landed on your ass sending you reeling forward from the impact.

"WON - ah!" 

You yelped at the tingling sensation, both pain and pleasure present at the unexpected action, making you bury your face against the cloudlike pillows. Your mind was still processing the flicker of pain and pleasure, when the bed dipped and you felt fevered kisses against your shoulders, tracing down to your spine, and towards your still numb and tingling rear. 

Wonwoo kept complete focus on you and your pleasure as he parted your knees and his tongue swirled and danced around your clit, feeling you move against him as he continued to bury his face between your thighs and grip your rear. A few more teasing motions with his tongue against your pleasure spots, he dove his tongue between your folds, exploring the depth of your core as your essence ran down his mouth like an addicting nectar. His forcefulness built as he pulled you closer towards his mouth, earning whimpers of his name to escape your lips, muffled by the soft sheets you were biting into.

"I want everyone to know you're mine." He stated again as he continued to taste you against his tongue, fingers stimulating your core until you were trembling once more.

The pleasure and his eagerness were slowly driving you over the edge, getting closer and closer to that glorious climax... until he pulled away.

"Wonwoo fuck!" Intense ache throbbed inside you at the unfulfilled bliss that was still at bay when he hauled you once again, yanking your weak body until you were on your back. 

Wonwoo grinned down at you, running his hand over your body, tweaking your nipples while the other thumbed your engorged bundle of nerves.

"Won- hurts... mm... need to..." You arched your body against his touch as needs boiled inside you, aching for that high only he can provide.

He watched you so weak for pleasure under him, but he wanted so much more. He lifted one of your legs and placed dove-like kisses on your shin and down to the inside of your thighs. You jolted.

"Please... baby..." 

"What do you want?" His lips hovered on your navel as he looked up at you. "You have to tell me..."

You swallowed the tears pooling in your throat, trying to hold out as much as you can, "I want... need you to... make me cum... please..."

He smirked. "That's my good girl." 

Wonwoo dove to your core once more, fingers slipping inside your soaked cave and began to massage your sweet spots as his tongue continued to flick in quick motions against your clit. He would only be satisfied until he felt you shaking and making a mess of the silk linens that adorned the bed. His eyes looked up at you overcome with pleasure, a view that he would never tire of. 

"Oh, baby... please mm.. so close..."

Your sounds of encouragement was music to his ears as you wriggled at his actions, feeling your core seeping with excitement over his fingers and dripping down his knuckles as he kept his consistent pace. Your legs delicately wrapping around his broad shoulders built anticipation as he craved to watch you explode in pleasure once more. 

"Give it to me, baby." He growled, stroking that velvety spot inside your walls eagerly.

"W-WONWOO —" 

You wailed and convulsed as a ferocious orgasm rocked through your body, the extent of your bliss filling you from head to toe. 

"Holy... fuck!"

My good girl... you came so hard..."

Wonwoo filled your face with kisses as you came down from your high, hovering over you in between your thighs and wrapping them around his hips. He shifted the both of you to your side facing each other, with his arm supporting your head safely. He eliminated the space between your bodies and kept your legs around him, gripping your rear as he kissed you fervently. 

"You're mine." He declared, staring intently at you and caressing your face. While his eyes were still dark with lust, you saw a twinkle of affection and unadulterated emotions behind them that made your stomach flutter.

"Say it baby... that you are mine and no one else's."

"I am yours, Jeon Wonwoo. Only yours."

He smiled at the certainty in your voice. There was never a doubt about it, but Wonwoo always loved hearing you say it and you always loved reminding him. Unable to wait any longer, he kissed you, lined himself in your heated entrance, and sank in deep.

And raw. 

For the first time ever. 

You nearly lost your mind. 

You never thought making love with Wonwoo could be any more indescribable, but here you were, feeling every ridge and friction of his perfect manhood as he stretched and filled you raw over and over again.

"Fuck so tight... my sweet pussy... mine..." He crooned in his euphoric state, eyes closed as he gripped your rear and bucked, pushing himself impossibly deep inside your hot core. "You're mine, Y/N...just mine... Jimin can never have you... no one else can... mine..."

You drew away slightly to watch him, pondering on his words until you realized it. There was jealousy in the mix. While it has been a while since your last intimate encounter leading to pent up needs, his possessive side was also on an all-time high that day, hence, the dominance and the power play. It sent electric shock to your core watching him take you and hold you possessively - his eyes closed, brows knitted, and lips agape. He looked so good it should be illegal.

"I am yours, just yours Wonwoo." You whispered and kissed him lovingly, pouring out your emotions in that exchange. His pace increased as the slapping of your skin, the squelching of his cock, and the sounds of your groans and whimpers created music against the night. 

You were in sync - mind, body, heart, and soul.

"I will fill you up so good, baby." 

"Ugh yes - please... fuck me..."

Wonwoo savoured the feeling of your hot, velvety walls clamping around him without barriers as he hammered into you. His fingers buried against the soft flesh of your rear, squeezing you hard as he guided you to meet his every thrust.

"You want it, baby? You me to fuck you... full?" 

His words were broken up between lowly moans against your lips as he pressed his forehead against yours, his hips slowing down and sensually rolling so he could feel every inch that he filled inside of you. His thrusts became slightly rougher as he pounded himself inside of you deeply, as if carving every inch of your walls as his. "Will fuck you so good baby... fill you up..."

Your body arched, revelling at the feeling of his huge length inside you, earning a loud moan as he took you wholly. He watched you lean back and as you did so one of his hands gripped your breasts, pinching and pulling on your erect buds while he wrapped his lips around the other, suckling and wanting to satisfy and please you as he picked up the pace. 

"Wonwoo... I'm... ugh—" He landed another harsh smack against your ass sending a zing of pleasure straight to your core. 

"Go on, baby. Be a good girl and make a mess for me." He hushed as he trailed open mouthed kisses against your neck and jawline and then your lips, tongue delving inside your mouth. 

Wonwoo jerked his hips, pulled away completely and then breached your walls again. Hard. He flicked your clit with his fingers and orgasm blasted through you, scorching every single cell of your body.

You moaned his name, again and again, clinging onto him as his flesh continued ramming inside you while your walls molded around him tighter and tighter with your release.

"One more, baby. I want more." Wonwoo stiffled against your skin, as he bit and nibbled the sweet spots on your neck and collarbone. The feeling of your walls around him skin to skin, was like a drug to him, or a craving that he never knew he had all along making him greedy for more. 

"Fuck... c-can't baby." You whimpered, high and overstimulated as he captured your lips in a passionate kiss. 

"Yes you can. For me... yeah? Come for me once more... you can do it, baby."

Wonwoo purred, pushing you on your back, your hips propped up on a pillow as he knelt caged between your thighs and impaled you once more with a hard, determined thrust. Your drenched core coated his cock, making it even easier for him to glide in and out of you, no matter how tight you were. The in-drawing sensation of your pussy was driving him insane. 

Sheen layer of sweat coated your bodies as you both panted and trembled, your legs wrapped around him and your nails raked against his back while he slammed his hips vigorously, urging both of your release.

"Fuck... my good girl... mm... gonna fill you up..."

"Won- "

"Mine..." He cupped your face and tilted your head so you can look at him in the eyes as he pummeled into you. "I love you... so much."

"Yours, yours... I love you so... much..." You whispered in between puffs of air, tears rolling against your cheek as he snapped his hips faster and rougher, making you cry louder. "Want your -"

"Yes, yes, baby... my good girl. You want me to cum?" He asked, nuzzling and groaning against your neck as you squeezed him in, a foretaste of your impending orgasm. "Tell me.. tell me you want me to cum..."

"I want...you...to cum for me..." You mewled. 

"Yes, yes, yes!"

Wonwoo kept his pace until his hips stuttered and his cock swelled deep inside you, painting your walls with his thick, hot cum, wailing your name as his body collapsed with the mind-numbing pleasure. Your walls pulsated around him, clamping him in and milking every last drop of his release as you let him bask in his orgasm. "Yes, baby. Take it... Take my cum..." Wonwoo grunted drunkenly, feeling you so close to your release and when he buried his cock deeper with his remaining strength, you finally erupted with a loud wonton cry of ecstacy, toes curling and body shuddering under his weight.

"Wonwoo! Fuck yes! Fuck baby—" You weren't sure how it was possible, but your climax was even longer this time, all-consuming and earth-shattering and Wonwoo felt it rocking through him as you spasmed around him. 

"That's it, baby...that's it..." He stiffled against your skin, fingers working on your clit as you surfed the wave of your climax, until you both came down from your glorious high, fully spent and satiated.

Wonwoo kissed you gently as he pulled away, cradling you in his arms softly, protectively when you whined at the empty feeling. "I love you so much... so good to me... let me take care of you, baby.." You could only hum and smile against the kiss. 

You weren't sure what was happening few moments later - you were sore, overstimulated, and nearly unconscious. You reckoned you could feel him inside you for days. The next thing you knew, Wonwoo was parting your thighs, wiping your core gently with a warm, damp towel as he let you rest and catch your breath.

"We n-need shower... messy..." You mumbled, and he just chuckled at your state. 

"Can you even walk, baby?" 

"Hmm, I can. I just need some time."

He crawled towards the bed by your side and cradled your head under his arms and that was when you got to admire how utterly flawless he looked — skin glowing, tips of his nose and ears pink, lips plump and red, blue hair all messed up, and his neck and chest sweat-clad. 

"I love you and your jealous ass." You declared, flicking his nose gently. "You know that, right?" 

"I do. I love you." He nodded and cupped your face to peck your lips. "Sorry, love. Was I too rough?"

You hummed, looping an arm around him, "Hhmm. It's all good. I kinda liked it."

Wonwoo smirked at you, pleased with himself, and drew you closer, snuggling and savouring the post-coital bliss. 

Before the night ended, you found yourselves back in the shower, making yet another mess and screaming each other's name. 

BONUS:

It was a random decision on your end. You really weren't supposed to be in the studio as you were on a break which was long overdue, but you were bored and you hadn't seen Wonwoo for about a week. So, you decided to whip up some surprise and buy snacks to surprise the members and the team during the filming of SeungKwan Boo's Past Life Destiny for Going Seventeen 2020. 

The team were gathered in a circle when you entered discreetly, all of them still huddled and finding their partners. Hiding with the staff members behind the camera, you saw your boyfriend being rejected several times, with the members teasing him that he doesn't need a partner because he has you anyway. Wonwoo looked extra cuddly that day with his white turtle neck shirt and knitted navy sweaters. He seemingly had high energy, too, like one of the junior producers told you. You loved seeing him like that, playful and excited. 

However, you started sensing Wonwoo's slight unease and discomfort after few more failed rounds, and even the head PD that daysaw it, too. So, when he was finally on the chair as the last member to match, the PD requested you to surprise him to lift his mood back up. It was never something you would do during filming, but you felt it was needed that day.

You emerged from behind the cameras and quietly approached him, earning excited reactions from the team. 

"No peeking yet, hyung!" Seungkwan exclaimed, with such contagious excitement, standing next to Wonwoo and ensuring he wouldn't turn around just yet.

"Waaah, nice Wonwoo-hyung!" The members cheered and hooted, making Wonwoo even more curious as to who actually came to be his partner.

"Why? Do I have many admirers?" Your boyfriend joked, then turned around, gasping in surprise and delight when saw you beaming and reaching out your hand to him. 

"Waaaah!! When did you get here?!" Wonwoo marvelled, nearly falling off the chair while taking your hand and engulfing you in a hug as everyone cheered. You just chuckled and rubbed his back. He held you tight and breathed you in, immediately soothing whatever discomfort he was feeling. 

"I bought you guys food." You smiled at him and pushed him back on the chair to resume the filming. He smiled brightly at you, blood rushing to his cheeks as he nodded and finally let you go. 

Knowing you were there and right on time as always, his battery became fully-charged once again. 

You are there for him, in his brightest days or darkest nights.

And he loves you, in his brightest and darkest moments, too.

[jwirecs]

RECOMMENDED BTS FICS OF SEPTEMBER 2023💖

hello, hello! here are my bts recs of september! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

Head Over Skates || @mercurygguk🔞💔🔄

↳ in which jeon jungkook is the captain of the hockey team and one of the biggest fuckboys on campus. you hate his guts and he knows it – that's why he's more than determined to make the most of three weeks of project work. you're convinced it's going to be the end of you.

My Heart Did || @aseaofyoongi🔞💔✅

↳ as soon as senior years comes to an end a lot of teens shed who we were and strive to be flourish into a more polished version of themselves. although, broken hearts aren’t so quick to heal what happens when thoughts reveal all we need to know?

Bad Idea || @back2bluesidex🔞💕✅

↳ Accepting Jungkook's invitation to watch him train topless was such a bad idea.

Don't Tell Me That... You Forgot || @sweetiestokkie💕✅

↳ (short summary that i have come up with since there wasnt one, but oc plans a secret birthday for jk. so we have a lil ol angy jjk.)

Just The Tip? || @joon4eva🔞💕✅

↳ you and namjoon are left alone together for a little too long. or: in your childhood home, you learn just how much is really "just the tip" with namjoon.

My Flower || @i-am-baechu💕✅💯

↳ Men don’t get enough flowers. That’s why whenever it’s Namjoon’s birthday, Y/N always sends flowers (someone please get me a boo so that i can give them flowers.)

Socks || @hisunshiine💕✅

↳ (theres no summary but if we talking about socks, his god dam toe socks lives in my mind rent free and i need it to start paying rent.)

Take Care Of You || @kookslastbutton🔞💕💔✅💯💯

↳ To keep your fiance from burning out you suggest a weekend getaway to Gapyeong, a charming town about an hour outside Seoul. You've specifically asked him to leave his work equipment at home but like a deep rooted habit, he still brings it with him. You're left with no choice but to find a way to get his attention back.

When I Say Forever || @kookslastbutton🔞💕✅💯

↳ Today’s your wedding day and the slightly shy yet handsome, doe-eyed stranger who chased after you when you dropped your wallet on the street three years ago just happens to be the man standing before you today.

7 Hybrids Moved In With Me || @lillsisamarshmallow💕💔🔄

↳ When the dog hybrid who visits her bakery starts taking extra food Y/N follows it through the alleys to find out why, but what happens when she stumbles upon an empty alley only to find 6 more hybrids and some very familiar pastries?

Entangled || @caelesjjk🔞✅💯

↳ Jeon Jungkook is Spider-Man.

Hold Me Together || @casuallyimagining💕🔄💯

↳ a collection of drabbles and headcanons featuring seokjin, yoongi, and namjoon and their significant others.... all of whom have chronic illnesses. each piece can be read on its own or as part of a series.

Leaked || @btsficsandsuch💕💔✅

↳ Req by OP's Followers: Hi ,I love your writing so much . Can I request a ot7 × platonic fem reader where they became friends accidentally and she is also their fan but something happens like a misunderstanding of sorts and she is blamed or something then when the truth comes out they ask for her forgiveness but don't make her forgive them easily also include an accident in between story if you can. Sorry if it's too confusing .have a good day

Stars Around My Scars || @vanteggukie💕💔🔄

↳ people are not always what they seem. you learned that the hard way, when you caught your boyfriend cheating, the night that was supposed to be one of the best ones you ever experienced. but on the same night you also learned that in everything bad, there’s always a little bit of good.

Rainy Days || @rklve🔞💕💔✅💯💯

↳ your life choices left not only yours, but jungkook's heart broken in peaces. now you're back in town, and just like pluto, even if it's cold and dark, he tends to orbit around his sun forever.

Taste Of His Own Medicine || @btsficsandsuch💔✅💯

↳ You suddenly have to leave to go back to your home country for a few months. Yoongi decides to ignore you so you decide to show him how it feels when he realizes you’re gone.

The Back Up Plan || @btsgotjams27💕✅💯

↳ one drunken night leads to an agreement that if you and jungkook are still single by 30, you'd marry each other. the only thing is jungkook has been doing everything he can to keep you single.

Aphrodite In War || @jungblue🔞💕💔🔄

↳ Everyone knew about the war that had been brewing on the edge of campus for the past two years. Sorority versus Fraternity; a showdown for the ages. However, when the escalating antics between them yields the consequence of possible suspensions for both chapters, the presidents of each house must come together to try and figure out how to end this battle… Which is kind of hard, considering they were the ones responsible for it in the first place.

Basic Needs || @gggukniverse🔞✅💯

↳ missing sex while being stuck in your apartment with your two roommates during quarantine is being the worst nightmare you could've imagined. fortunately, you're not the only one who's touch starved.

Safety Net || @pradaksj🔞💕💔✅

↳ on new year’s eve, you and jungkook reflect on each other’s entire year together. 

Heart-On || @junghelioseok🔞✅💯💯

↳ your one-night stand definitely isn’t relationship material, but maybe—just maybe—your manager’s son is. (this is part of their serendipity series, make note that its not connected. do check out their jjk fic thats part of this series!!)

Territorial || @bonny-kookoo🔞💕🔄

↳ Who would've known that the big bad wolf isn't actually all that bad?

Do check out all of the other BTS Fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

[minkyungseokie]

𝔸𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 | The Beginning

warnings; none for this part

note; I'm going to be so deadass, I had no idea how to start this. It starts in 2020, but the gifs won't be from that time. It's so hard to find gifs for Alex and even harder to find one of both Alex and Lily. If you know where I can find some good ones, lmk

Anyway this is almost like a soul mate au kind of thing, but not at the same time. Also, pretend The Uncanny Counter came out earlier than November

fc; Jung Ho-Yeon

Alex Masterlist​ | Autosports Masterlist | Main Masterlist

​Series/Full Fic Masterlist ​| Talk to me​

Like the Stars Above Us | Next ❧

I do not give anyone permission to change, copy, or put my work on any other platform. It will only be on top, so if you see it, please report it. Or let me know.

A short girl sat in her LA apartment with her remote in hand and a bored look on her face. She was bored and had nothing to occupy her time or entertain her that way her days won't be so long and mundane.

The girl sighed and tossed the remote to the side before picking up her phone to see if her boyfriend had sent her any messages, but when she saw nothing, she huffed. She knew he wasn't really busy with work since they were all told to go home and quarantine. 

With yet another sigh, Lily Muni He opened up her Instagram and took a picture before putting a question sticker somewhere on it that read; 'currently bored. give me some show suggestions to get me through quarantine.'

Lily then swiped out of the app and opened the messenger app, clicking on her boyfriend's contact and sending him a quick message just saying good morning. Lily had to wait a bit in order to get some good answers so she didn't know what to do to pass the time until then.

The woman stood up and went into her kitchen to see what kind of things she had to nibble on while she watched whatever was recommended. 

After a few minutes. Lily finally sat back down on her couch and picked up her phone. The Chinese woman opened Instagram and looked through all of the suggestions that her followers had sent in. As she looked through the suggestions, she looked at the shows descriptions on Netflix.

None of them caught her eyes or made her want to look at them and as the number of suggestions dwindled, Lily's hope to find something to occupy her time did as well. "Well, there's only one more. Let's hope this one is good or I'll lose my mind." Lily muttered, looking to the side where the hutch of her rabbits sat.

Lily looked at the last suggestion and stared at the title with a furrowed brow. Sometimes the gut would let people know whether something was a good idea or a bad one, but she had never had a gut feeling that she should watch something before. Lily put her phone down and searched for the title she was given.

'The Uncanny Counter'

Lily didn't even read the description of the show. She just clicked play on her remote and started watching the series.

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ!

Lily didn't know how long she had been sitting on the couch and watching the Korean drama, but she knew that she was hungry, kind of tired, and her butt was numb. As soon as episode four was over, Lily paused the show and rubbed her eyes.

Her head turned to the side, gazing out the window as she yawned tiredly. It took her a few moments before she did a double take and looked out the window once more. 

It was dark out. She had been so engrossed in the show that she didn't realize that it was getting dark out, which meant that her lover had probably finished whatever he was doing and he was probably worried that she hadn't answered her phone like she usually did.

Lily turned back to the couch and practically dived to grab her phone off the spot on the couch where she last tossed it away. Lily groaned as she saw that she had, in fact, missed a couple of texts from her boyfriend. Lily pressed the call button and put the phone up to her ear.

"Hello, love." The voice of her boyfriend greeted, "Hey, baby. I'm sorry that I missed your texts. I was watching this show and it was just so good that I forgot to do anything other than watch." Lily rushed out. 

The man chuckled, immediately soothing Lily's nerves, "It's okay. I did the same to you earlier while I was streaming. What was the show you were watching?" He asked. 

Lily brightened and stood up straighter, "Oh Alex, it's such a good show. It's a Korean drama about a disabled boy...actually, we should watch it together. We can FaceTime while watching it and you can fall down the rabbit hole with me." Lily suggested.

"I don't know. It doesn't sound like something I'd be interested in." Alex said, "Oh, come on! Alex, it'll be so fun! We can do one of those Netflix watch party thingies. You'll fall in love with it just like I did." Lily tried.

"I'll think about it. How did you even find out about this show? I didn't think you'd be interested in Korean dramas." Alex said, "It was recommended to me by one of my followers. I wasn't going to watch it, but... this is going to sound completely crazy, but I felt drawn to the show and I didn't understand why." Lily started explaining 

Alex cleared his throat on the other en of the phone, "What do you mean you felt drawn to it?" Alex questioned, "You know how you said you felt drawn to me? It was like that, but to the show." Lily answered

"Uh-huh." 

"Before you judge me, pull up Netflix and look at the show 'The Uncanny Counter' tell me if you feel it too." Lily all but pleaded with her boyfriend. "Okay, love. I'll do it. Just take a deep breath and calm down." Alex's voice grew soft when he heard the panic in Lily's voice.

Lily inhaled through her nose until she could physically no longer breath in before exhaling through her mouth, "Are you calm?" Ales spoke up after a few more inhales and exhales.

Lily nodded before realizing that Alex couldn't see her, "Yeah, but can we Facetime? I need to see you." Lily said breathily, "Of course, baby. Hold on." Alex hung up the phone before the familiar sound of the FaceTime ringtone rang, piercing the momentarily quiet air.

Lily answered, sitting down and propping up the phone on the coffee table, "Hey, you look gorgeous." Alex complimented, giving his girlfriend a cheesy smile. Lily giggled and looked at Alex with nothing but adoration in her eyes, "Well, let's look at this show you were talking about." Alex said, picking up his remote.

"Did you eat something bad today? Could that be the reason for the feeling you had? What was it called again?" Alex questioned, "No, I didn't eat anything bad. It's called The Uncanny Counter. I think I know what it was that drew me to the show." Lily said, watching her boyfriend pull up the show.

She watched as Alex's smile disappeared, "You feel it too, don't you?" Lily asked. Alex nodded, "Now do me a favor and look up the name Jung Y/n. Tell me if you also feel it then. I saw her name in the opening credits and I got the same feeling." Lily said.

Alex looked down at his laptop with a dazed look on his face, 'Is that how I looked when I saw her?' Lily couldn't help but wonder. 

"Do you know what it is? This feeling?" Alex questioned, looking up at his gorgeous girlfriend. Lily shook her head, "I don't, but I want to get to the bottom of it. I feel like we need to watch more in order to get to the bottom of it, don't you think?" Lily asked.

Alex looked back down at the laptop, "All we know so far is from this. She's a 19-year-old South Korean actress and model who has been working in the industry since she was at least six, but could've started earlier. She's appeared in both Japanese and Korean dramas and films that are all hits. She has a YouTube channel, a Twitch channel, and is apparently acting in a Japanese drama coming out in December." Alex reads.

"So we have plenty to watch until we can go back to work, huh?" Lily asked, smiling at Alex. "We sure do." Alex agreed.

The girl sighed and slumped down in her chair. Filming more than one series at a time was tiring and what made it even more complicated was the fact that one was filmed in Japan and the other was filmed in South Korea. 

It was a lot to do, but it was well worth it. The Uncanny counter was filmed in January, February, March, and April while Alice in Borderland would film May, June, July, and August.

As the good ol' saying goes, 'There's no rest for the wicked' and sure enough, there would be no rest for her until the end of summer when all filming would wrap up. And then The Uncanny counter is slowly releasing during the filming of Alice in Borderland and Alice in Borderland would release in December.

Y/n ran a hand through her hair and looked around at her coworkers doing their scenes. She was used to constantly working as she had been doing this since she was six-years-old, but that didn’t make it any less tiring to do. 

Plus, she had never done two shows in a row before so it would make sense that she’s tired.

A voice called, pulling Y/n out of her stupor, “Coming!” The woman answered back, getting up tiredly.

“Did you stay up all night watching that sport you like again?” The coworker asked, nudging the girl, “No, I didn’t stay up all night watching Formula One. The races have been put on hold due to Covid, so there isn’t much to watch other than old races.” Y/n yawned, stretching her arms above her head.

The two walked on set and waited for the director's direction, “Okay, let’s get this started.”

a/n; I know it's short, but it's just a sort of introduction to it all. I should've published this earlier, but as I have mentioned, I have a job now where I have to work from 3PM to 11:30PM and next week it'll be 5PM to 3:30 AM. I'll get as much done as I can, but don't expect much this week